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the-cult-of-riley · 2 months

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Sleeping With Ghosts (Act Two: Chapter Two)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N:

I’m super sick right now :(

I haven’t been able to write anything and instead got sucked down the rabbit hole of reading fanfic instead of writing lmao

I’ve got bits and pieces of Act Two written up already but not in a real order so there’s a lot I still need to write up. Send me good vibes so I can write up the next chapter.

Also, this chapter is like twice as long as my usual ones, enjoy :)

Placebo - Surrounded By Spies

I saw you jump from a burning building I saw you jump from a burning building I've seen you move like Elvis set on fire I've seen you move like Elvis set on fire This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning

Ping pong ball at the back of my throat Ping pong ball at the back of my throat And I won't be spoken to like that And I won't be spoken to like that

Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform

Ex-drummer's nose stuck in the past Ex-drummer's nose stuck in the past Found dead behind the wheel of a car Found dead behind the wheel of a car

World leader going under the knife World leader going under the knife Stage four Stage two Stage three Stage four Stage two Stage three

We go to Sweden in the back of a cab We go to Sweden in the back of a cab

And every picture house is empty And every picture house is empty

I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back

I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies

Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem

I see faces on the bathroom floor I see faces on the bathroom floor I see faces on the bathroom floor Come on over and I'll show you more

Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up)

I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies

Charlotte sat on the bed quietly as Beth got into her pyjamas, ready for bed. It was much later than she was used to going to bed but after all the drama of the night, the poor girl looked ready to drop. Charlotte wasn't sure how to feel about any of it. The last few hours of her life had been a tempestuous whirlwind and she could barely get her bearings. She felt so much at once, all conflicting feelings that she didn't know how to sort through.

She was happy he was alive, of course she was. How could she not be? How many times had she cried herself to sleep, asking the universe why he had to leave? Asking if he could just come back? Well, now he had. She got her wish, yet she hadn't expected it to happen, never mind how deeply it wounded her. To know he left all on his own volition was something else. She didn't care what his excuses were of keeping her safe, she didn't think anything he said would be enough to soothe the deep wounds he’d left her at this betrayal.

She never thought in a million years that her Simon would do this to her. She hadn't meant to explode on him like she had, nor had she meant to confess in hurt and anger that she’d tried to kill herself. She felt shame flush her cheeks at remembering the fact she’d had an audience as she’d said it. Remembered how hurt he’d looked at her admission, even if all she could see of his face were his eyes.

That was all she needed to see to read him. There was something so heartbreaking about seeing him cry like he had, at seeing him hiding his face away behind that mask, yet she hadn't allowed herself to feel sympathy for him. She couldn't, not after what he’d done.

She’d thought he’d been murdered, right along with everyone else she considered family. In one fell swoop, she’d become so bitterly alone in the world that the only way out she saw fit was to end her own life. She remembered waking up in that hospital bed. She hadn't felt relief that she had survived, didn't see life with a new outlook, all she felt was pain and blind rage at the universe that it wouldn't even let her fucking die in peace. To be with her family. But now looking back, maybe the universe was doing her a favour because Simon wasn't dead, he was here in fucking Hereford at the SAS base they used to live at all along.

It was confusing to be relieved yet angry at the same time. She didn't know how to process any of it. All she’d wanted was to have Simon back, to have a complete family, for Beth to have her dad. But now she got her wish and she couldn't see a way where her and Simon could pick up where they left off. Not only because he'd created a cavernous space between them with his lie, but because they were different people now.

Living through the grief that she had, it changed her, much like she could see it changed him. Even though he hadn't been technically dead, she hadn't known that and she’d grieved for him so deeply that she hadn't been able to get out of it in the five years he’d been gone. Her grief knew no bounds. Not for Simon, not for Beth or Tommy, not for Anne, nor for sweet little Joseph. It changed something deep in her DNA that would never go back to how it was.

The bitterness and jadedness, the anger at the world. She’d spent the first few weeks of knowing she was pregnant hating her own baby simply because it meant she couldn't end her own life and end her own torment. But even when she finally connected with the little baby in her belly, she didn't go back to who she used to be. It gave her a reason to live, sure. It made her dead heart start beating again but it felt like there was only a small chunk of it left. The rest of it was buried along with the Riley family.

She felt sick then, realising the grave she’d been visiting all this time hadn't been her husband's at all. Who the fuck was buried there then? A new wave of grief washed over her and she closed her eyes to stave off the tears, breathing deeply through her nose. She wasn't the woman Simon knew her to be, not any more. She knew from what Price had said, Simon had been through more than just the loss of his family. He had changed too, she could see that with that mask he wore. She could hardly believe the man was wearing a fucking skeleton mask all the time, not when he used to be so afraid of them.

Ghost . That’s what Price said he was called now. He didn't go by Simon anymore. For all intents and purposes, Simon was dead. Maybe her grieving hadn't been for nothing after all. But could she love Ghost as she had Simon? Was Simon hiding in there at all? She thought back to the journey over here and the way Price was being cryptic, not telling her much but telling her enough to warn her of what might await her.

The silence in the car was making Charlotte’s skin crawl but she couldn't find it in herself to open her mouth and break it. Her brain felt like it had been on a merry go round since the moustached man had uttered those treacherous words to her back home and felt like she didn't know which way was up anymore.

She glanced to her left, seeing Beth clutching her stuffed bunny. She was bobbing her head to the beat of the music, chunky headphones over her ears that were connected to Charlotte’s phone. Beth had always loved music, enjoyed how Charlotte played it around the house. She thought it was best the girl listened to some on the journey, not wanting her to be hyper aware of the tension her mother was holding. It was getting increasingly harder to hide things from her, she was getting far too perceptive for her own good. She didn't need her asking questions about why she wasn't happy her dad was okay.

When she’d explained to Beth on the way out that her father wasn't in fact an angel in heaven, but very much alive, the girl only had one emotion. Excitement. Of course she couldn't get it, she was far too young, but Charlotte was struggling with a slew of emotions she couldn't quite understand and she was having a hard time putting on a brave face for her daughter.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be goin’ through right now. And I know I have no right to ask you anythin’ but… just hear him out, yeah? Whether that's tonight, in a week, a fuckin’ month… Once you’ve got your head on right, just try to listen to him,” John murmured carefully from the driver's seat, the leather steering wheel creaking under his grip.

Charlotte tensed, glaring out of the window as she crossed her arms over her chest. Part of her wanted to hear Simon out. He was her husband. They hadn't just been lovers, but best friends and that's why she was so confused as to why he’d done this to her. At her silence, John continued.

“He’s a good man, Charlotte. And I know you know that ‘cause you married him,” he sighed, his tone weary.

“It’s been five years, John. I don’t know what kind of man he is now,” she bit out, still staring out of the window as the dark street passed her by.

“He’s still a good man,” John argued vehemently. “I won’t lie and say he’s the same man you knew all those years ago because he’s changed. Who wouldn't after everythin’ he’s been through? I can’t tell you all of it ‘cause it’s not my story to tell, but… I know you know what happened to the family,” he murmured, glancing at her through the rear view mirror. She licked her lower lip, chest aching at the mere mention of them.

“They were murdered,” she replied tensely. They’d never caught the murderers and that had always been something that stuck with her. John nodded, a frown etched onto his face that she could see when she looked through the mirror at him.

“Like I said, I can't say much, but I will tell you it was connected to a job gone wrong in Mexico. Simon was taken with some of his squad mates, tortured for months on end. And the poor bastard… he somehow survives, somehow gets out, only to come home and find his family fuckin’ massacred,” John’s angry words made Charlotte feel nauseous.

The idea of Simon going through all that broke her heart. She remembered his smiling face the day he left, the last time she ever saw him. He’d already been through so much in his life and she could only imagine the stuff he went through at the hands of whoever did this to him.

It still stung though, that he left her so willingly. She was his wife, he should have come to her in his time of need so she could be there for him. They could have grieved together, helped each other through it. But instead, he’d led her to believe he’d been murdered too, led her to believe she was thoroughly on her own.

“He could have come to me,” her voice was a mere whisper in the quiet car and John’s shoulders slumped.

“I know he could have. He fuckin’ should have. I’ll never sit here and try to defend his actions, he was a fuckin’ idiot for doin’ what he did. I tried to tell him after I found out he’d faked his death, told him to reach out to you, but he wouldn't have any of it. He was convinced if he did, you’d wind up dead too,” John explained with a sigh.

The more rational and logical side of Charlotte’s brain understood the motives. Understood that Simon had been out of his mind with grief after being tortured for months when he'd made the choice to leave her behind like he had. She understood how terrified he must have been when she tried to put herself in his shoes. But what she didn't understand was why he hadn't told her sooner. Why not after a few months or even just one year, he hadn't tried to reach out and explain things to her.

Five years was a long time and the only reason she was finding out now was because his identity had been exposed. If that wouldn't have happened, she had no doubt she’d still be thinking her husband was dead and that hurt her deeply. It hurt that he clearly hadn't even looked her up and checked to see how she was doing or he’d have known about Beth. John had told her as they left the house that he’d called ahead to let him know he had a daughter so he didn't have a heart attack when they got there. Did he care that little about her that it was so easy to let her go? That he’d been able to forget about her like she meant nothing?

She was broken out of her depressing thoughts when Beth moved to take the headphones off, looking from Charlotte to John.

“Are we nearly there yet, Mr John?” she asked excitedly, kicking her legs around as she wriggled in her seat. It was far easier for Beth to roll with the punches after finding out her dad was very much alive. She didn't care about the ‘how’ or the ‘why’, she just cared about finally getting to meet her daddy, her hero.

“Not too long left now, sweetheart,” John replied with a smile. It hadn't escaped her notice how attached he’d gotten to Beth already.

“I can’t wait! Mummy, are you excited to see daddy?” she asked with a big smile, her big brown eyes boring into her mother. No, no she really wasn't. It would have been better if this bomb had been dropped on her and then she was left to stew in it for a week so she could digest the news. But instead she was heading right there when her emotions were heightened and she couldn't make sense of any of them.

“Of course I am, sweetie,” she smiled at her. She tried her best to make it as genuine as possible and the girl bought it by the way her own smile widened.

“Now, before we get there, there’s just a few things I wanna get outta the way,” John spoke up, making fleeting eye contact through the mirror with Charlotte.

“He doesn't really go by Simon much anymore. I’m really the only one who calls him by his name and it doesn't happen a lot, sometimes his best mate Johnny will too, if it's somethin’ serious. On base, you’ll hear him be referred to as Lieutenant or Ghost,” he continued. Lieutenant. He got his promotion then.

“Ghost? That’s a funny name!” Beth giggled and John let out a chuckle.

“It’s his callsign, kind of like a nickname. Most soldiers have one,” he explained patiently.

“Do you have one, Mr John?” she asked curiously.

“Not really. People often just call me Cap or by my last name,” he shrugged.

“Why is daddy called Ghost? Does he like spooky things? I like spooky things!” Beth exclaimed, pulling what she deemed to be a ‘spooky’ face in the mirror at John and he smiled to himself. She didn't give him a chance to answer her barrage of questions though as she continued to ramble.

“Halloween is my most favoritest day of the year. And on my birthday, mummy decorates the house like it's halloween!” she grinned, ending her spiel with a ghost noise as she wiggled her fingers dramatically. Despite the situation, Charlotte couldn't help the smile that curled on her lips. No matter what anyone said, her daughter was for sure a character.

“Well, if you like spooky things, you’ll like your daddy’s mask then. He has a skeleton mask that he wears all the time,” John spoke up. His voice was light as he addressed his words to the young girl who started clapping excitedly, but his eyes caught Charlotte's with a meaningful look. It shocked her, knowing his fear since a child, knowing how Tommy used to wear a skeleton mask to scare him.

“All the time?” she asked, getting a nod in return.

“Was only recently the rest of the 141 got to see his face. Part of it's due to some scarrin’ he’s got after… after Mexico. But mostly I think it's to conceal his identity,” he explained and she held in her scoff. Didn't do a fucking good job since someone found out anyway and now her and Beth were being driven to an SAS base for god knows how long.

She tried to will herself to be in a better mood, to summon some semblance of excitement to see her husband, mostly for her daughter's sake. Little Beth couldn't sit still in her seat as she went on and on about how excited she was to see him. She couldn't find any excitement inside herself though.

The sting of his betrayal stung deep and she had no idea how long it would take for it to subside. Would it ever? She never thought in her wildest dreams that she’d ever get to see him again and never did she ever think she’d be feeling this way if she did. Yet here she was, on her way to see the husband she thought was dead for the past five years and all she felt was hurt.

Charlotte looked over once Beth was fully ready for bed, watching as she rummaged around in the duffel bag near the bed. The room was a decent size with a bathroom attached. It had a double bed for Charlotte and a smaller single bed for Beth. John had explained to her once she’d come inside about how the base worked, despite the fact she lived here once. Apparently things had changed a little especially since they were in a special task force.

It was an SAS base but they weren't the only ones here. The Task Force had their own building which housed their barracks and a rec room/small kitchen. They shared the training area, armoury and mess hall with the rest of the soldiers here.

Beth pulled a worn leather bound book from the bag and Charlotte smiled softly. It always looked comically large in her small hands. It was the same copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that Simon got her all the way back in 2006. She hadn't been able to look at it for two years after he ‘died’, but eventually she found comfort in reading it. Beth loved it too now. The stories weren't traditionally for children but Beth didn't care. She loved these ones and not the Disney versions that were in her words, ‘icky’. She toddled over, book in hand and her comfy bunny pyjamas back on.

“Mummy…?” she asked softly, dark eyes glancing over at her with a tiny smile playing on her lips.

“What is it, sweetie?” Charlotte answered.

“Could daddy read me my bedtime story?” she asked hopefully. The idea of seeing Simon so soon after the confrontation outside made her blood turn to ice in her veins, but she concealed it with a fake smile for her daughter.

“You’d have to ask him, his room is next door. He might not be there though,” she said softly. She hoped he wouldn't be there. It was bad enough knowing his room was so close to theirs and she knew Simon was probably to blame for that.

“Can I go and knock?” she asked with a grin and Charlotte nodded as she stood up. She wouldn't go to his door but she’d wait at her own so she could keep an eye on her. She was only four after all. Beth put the book on her bed and Charlotte opened the bedroom door, leaning on the doorframe as she watched Beth go to the door next to theirs.

She knocked softly, fidgeting where she stood and Charlotte felt conflicted. The selfish part of her hoped he wouldn't be there so she wouldn't have to see him, but seeing how excited and anxious Beth was, she couldn't help but hope he was there. The door opened and Charlotte couldn't see him as he stood in his doorway. Beth grinned up at him, a brilliant smile that she’d perfected over the years. The one that got her anything she wanted.

“Daddy! Can you read me a bedtime story, please?” she asked, clutching her hands together like she was begging him. He was silent for a moment and Charlotte wondered what look he had on his face. Despite everything, it had touched her seeing how emotional he got when he saw Beth. It touched her how he instantly fell in love with her.

“Where's your mummy, sweetheart?” he asked carefully and Beth pointed over at her.

He stepped out of the door then, now dressed in black sweats and a tight fitting t-shirt. He’d always been big but he seemed even bigger now. He didn't have on the hard skull mask from earlier, and instead he had a black gaiter with half a skull painted on it covering his lower face. She could just make out a scar coming out from it and curling around his temple.

His blonde hair had grown in his time away. It was longer at the top and messily pushed back, shorter on the sides. He also had a half sleeve and a part of her brain, the old Charlotte, itched to see what the ink was, what story it told. He stared at her for a long moment and Charlotte couldn't meet his eyes as they burned into her. He finally dragged his gaze away from her and back to the little girl in front of him.

“If it’s alright with your mum, then I’ll read to you, lovie,” he murmured, making Beth turn her pleading eyes on her. Charlotte couldn't find her voice and just nodded, making her way back to the bedroom as Beth and Simon followed. She sat on the bed, watching as Beth rushed in, grabbing the book. Simon shut the door behind him, looking severely out of place in the room.

“Come on, daddy!” Beth giggled as she climbed in bed, pulling her quilt over her and patting the spot next to her. Simon walked over, perching on the side of the bed. When Beth shoved the book in his hands, his whole body seemed to still. Charlotte couldn't help but watch his reaction, seeing how his hand rubbed over the beaten leather cover as he swallowed thickly. He took a shaky breath, cracking open the front cover to reveal the message inside.

‘Grimm stories for my Grim girl.

All my love,

Simon’

She watched as his hands shook, watched how he blinked rapidly before looking at her. She felt a deep ache in her chest and she bit down on her lower lip, tearing her gaze away from his. She knew it meant something to him, that she’d kept the book.

“Which story, lovie?” he asked Beth after clearing his throat.

“Any, you can pick!” she smiled, moving to lay down, wriggling around to get comfy inside the covers. He nodded, flicking through the pages before he found the one he’d been looking for.

“Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl. Everyone who saw her liked her, but most of all her grandmother, who did not know what to give the child next. Once she gave her a little cap made of red velvet. Because it suited her so well, and she wanted to wear it all the time, she came to be known as Little Red Ridin’ Hood, ” he started, his voice low and soothing. Charlotte settled to sit back, leaning on the headboard as she listened on.

“One day her mother said to her: ‘Come Little Red Ridin; Hood. Here is a piece of cake and a bottle of wine. Take them to your grandmother. She is sick and weak, and they will do her well. Mind your manners and give her my greetin’s. Behave yourself on the way, and do not leave the path, or you might fall down and break the glass, and then there will be nothin’ for your sick grandmother.’ " listening to him read like this took her back and she tried to ignore the tumultuous tide of emotions within her. A large part of her wanted to go over to him, curl around him and not let him go. She didn't think she'd ever get to hear his voice again and now he was reading to their daughter. Despite the deep yearning she felt, she didn't move. She couldn't .

A nasty voice in the back of her head wondered if he was happier away from her. Wondering if maybe he hadn't looked her up because he realised he was better off without her. She knew it was stupid, knew it was a very self centred way of thinking, yet she couldn't help it. She never thought she and Simon had a perfect relationship by any means, she didn't think perfect existed. She did think they came pretty fucking close though so learning that he just fucked off and left when they both needed each other still didn’t make sense in her brain.

She stayed there listening to him read until Beth fell fast asleep, her soft snores filling the air as he stopped reading. The quiet left the roaring in her ears far too loud. Glancing over at him, she saw how he watched Beth, eyes flitting over her face as if he was trying to ingrain every small feature of her face into his brain. It made her chest feel hot and tight as he gently raised his hand up to her head, hesitating for a mere second before he stroked her head with his large hand.

She wondered what he would have been like with her as a baby. It had devastated her after having to go through labour alone, to know Beth's daddy wouldn't ever get to hold her. He'd missed out on so much of her life, so many important firsts she'd been through. There wasn't anything he could do or say to change that.

His hand moved back to the book then as he closed it quietly, his hand once more smoothing over the beaten leather cover. The silence that permeated the room was anything but comfortable and Charlotte wasn't brave enough to break it herself. He dragged his eyes to her and she tried to quell her rapidly beating heart. She needed time alone, needed her brain to digest the ridiculous amount of bullshit that it had forced on it within hours.

“I'll uh… I'll let you rest then,” he murmured, his tone unsure and awkward as his eyes never left her. He'd always had a way of seeing right through her but now she hated it. She nodded, nibbling her lower lip as she stood. She didn't know what to say so she settled on not saying anything at all as she walked to the door. She opened it, unable to meet his gaze that was burning into her as he placed the book on the nightstand and moved over to the door.

He hovered in the doorway before just stepping right out, allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief. Part of her had been worried he'd corner her into talking about everything and it was far too soon. But as she watched him walk down the hall a few steps away to his own door, a thought hit her like a tonne of bricks again and she couldn't stop her mouth from opening. To ask the question burning on the tip of her tongue, even if she was scared to know the answer.

“Simon…” she called out after him, her voice trailing off as she stepped out into the hallway. He stopped and turned to face her at an alarmingly fast rate. She almost felt bad at his hopeful eyes that burned into her.

“What is it, love?” he asked, his voice soft, as he gazed at her.

She’d wondered if Simon was in there at all or if Ghost was all that was left, but the reverence in his dark eyes let her know that Simon was indeed still there, even if he was buried. Her mouth floundered for a moment, scared to even ask him but she knew she’d lose sleep if she didn't. Hell, she knew she'd be losing sleep regardless, but she wanted to know.

“Who… Who’s buried… where you should be?” she asked carefully, tripping over the wording. Shock coloured his face for a brief moment before his eyes darted away at lightning speed, now unable to look at her. It only made the pit in her stomach grow.

“Some things are best just left well alone, sweetheart,” he frowned, still not looking at her. It only served to make annoyance swell up inside of her.

“Really? After everything you’ve fucking done, now you won’t even answer my questions?” she asked, sounding more hurt than angry which only annoyed her further. His eyes finally met hers, brows furrowed deeply but he still didn't say anything.

“How am I ever gonna be able to understand all of this bullshit if you won't even answer me?” she asked incredulously as she took an angry step towards him.

“Ask me somethin’ else, anythin’ else and I’ll answer, please ,” he whispered and she could hear how strained his voice was. She knew then, he didn't want to answer her because he knew she wouldn't like the answer. Her eyes narrowed, hands shaking at her sides as she glared at him.

“It was one of them, wasn't it? One of the murderers?” she asked, dread coating her tongue. It got worse when he squeezed his eyes shut, lowering his head as he inhaled deeply through his nose. She started to think he wouldn't answer her again but then his shoulders slumped as he nodded.

“Yeah… it is,” he admitted and the shame in his voice was clear as day. She stumbled back a step, covering a hand over her mouth as if it would help stop the feelings of bile climbing up her throat.

“Lottie…” he pleaded, reaching his hand out as if to steady her but she moved right away from him, bitter tears stinging her eyes.

“You… I can’t-” she shook her head, wiping at her eyes furiously as the ringing in her ears got louder. His own tearful face watched her, half covered as his tears disappeared under his gaiter.

“I visited that grave every single fucking day! I stood there and poured my heart out to the bastard that took our family away! He's buried next to them!” she seethed, trying to keep her voice down but she felt so much disgust that she worried she might vomit her heart right up. His face fell, a look in his eyes that told her this was something that bothered him deeply, yet he’d done it anyway.

“I’m sorry, love, I am, but I did what I need-” he started but she didn't want to hear it.

“Don't you dare! You didn’t need to fake your fucking death! You didn't need to have me visiting a murderer's grave for five years!” she hissed, feeling lightheaded. She couldn't even look at him, it made her feel sick.

She turned on her heel, moving back to her door and pushing it open, but just as it opened a crack, his large hand covered hers on the handle as he yanked it back shut. His hand stayed on hers, his left hand on the doorframe by her head, caging her in as she faced the door.

His chest wasn't touching her back but was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off him. Part of her wanted to cave, wanted to turn in his arms, sob into his chest and beg him to never leave her again. She couldn't though, not after this. It dawned on her that this was why he was scared to answer the question. That maybe this was a push too far.

She stood stock still, tearful eyes blinking at the wooden door in front of her. His head was hovering over her right shoulder and she could hear his stuttering breaths, knew he was trying to calm himself despite his tears. She waited for him to speak, to argue his point some more. She didn't have it in her anymore, she just needed to get away from him.

He stayed there for a moment, so close yet so out of reach it burned her chest, and then he backed away from her. Her hand felt ice cold once he’d let her go, the only proof he was in fact alive and she hadn't made all of this nonsense up in her head.

“I know it probably doesn't feel like it, Lottie… but I love you,” he murmured with a rough voice. She didn't turn to look at him as her silent tears fell harder, didn't dare open her mouth because she wasn't sure just what might come out. She stayed as still as a statue at her door until she heard him walk away and go back into his room, and only then did her tense muscles relax.

The tears wouldn't stop though and the burning in her chest was getting worse. She knew she couldn't go into the bedroom like this. The last thing she wanted was to wake up Beth in this state and only cause her confusion. Not really knowing what else to do, she took off down the hallway, leaving through the double door that separated the bedrooms from the rest of the building. She hurried into the kitchen area, chest heaving with ugly sobs that she couldn't hide any more. She was just glad Simon wasn't around to witness her like this. She clutched the kitchen counter in a death grip, trying to will her breathing to slow so she could get a hold of herself.

“Oh shit, I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

The voice made her whip around, coming face to face with a man with a mohawk. She’d seen how close he was to Simon when they were all outside and she was sure this was the best friend John had told her about. She wiped her eyes as her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, but she still couldn't calm down. He looked so sad when he looked at her, like he knew her, like they were friends, and this whole thing made him sad. It was pretty jarring given he was a stranger.

“Alright, come on,” he sighed with a frown, shaking his head as he held his arms out to her. She blinked her watery eyes at him dumbly.

“What?” she squeaked out through her tears. He didn't answer her with words and instead just took a few long strides to her before wrapping her in his arms.

It caught her off guard but there was something comforting about him and she couldn't help but melt into him, allowing herself to seek comfort. The only person that had hugged her for years had been Beth and despite how she was avoiding Simon’s touch like the plague, she needed comforting now more than ever.

She sobbed into his chest, hands balled into his t-shirt at his back as he held her close. One of his hands stroked her hair as he murmured something to her. She couldn't really understand him with his accent, she wasn't even sure if he was speaking English at this point. It still soothed her though and after far too long for her liking, her tears finally dulled to sad sniffles. His shirt was soaked with her tears and she felt her face flush once more as she reluctantly pulled away from him. He gave her a sad smile, squeezing her shoulders before he took a step back, allowing her space once more.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, shame still nipping at her.

“Don't need t’ thank me, lass. Yer family,” he replied easily, a warm smile on his face. Family . That word felt so strange to her now. She’d been so used to it just being her and Beth and now she had a family again. She tried to give him a smile back, feeling more than overwhelmed and unsure of herself.

“You want me to make ye a brew?” he asked kindly but she shook her head, swallowing thickly as she wiped at her damp cheeks.

“No… No thanks, I should get back in case Beth wakes up,” she declined politely and he nodded with another warm smile.

“Alright then. Sleep well,” he shot her another smile and she headed to the door, arms wrapped around herself as if to self soothe.

“Charlotte,” he called out before she walked through the doorway. She turned back to look at him, finding him looking at her already. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing.

“If ye need anythin’, and I mean anythin’ , ye can come to me. I know you don’t know me very well, not yet at least, but ye don’t have to be alone here. I want ye to know that. You got someone fightin’ in yer corner for ye. That big fuckin’ idiot might be my best friend but… you didn’t deserve all this shit. So if ye need someone rootin’ for ye, I’m right here,” he implored, bright blue eyes burning fiercely.

Her throat clogged up, eyes stinging with unshed tears again at his words. He didn't know her at all yet she could tell he meant his words. It touched her and sent a wave of relief through her. Simon was the only one she knew here and she couldn't go to him after everything. She couldn't trust him any more, so knowing she had someone she could go to if she needed anything was a huge relief for her.

“Thanks…” she trailed off, realising she didn't know his name. Her head was so muddled, she couldn’t remember if John had told her back on her journey here or not.

“Johnny or Soap. Take yer pick. Fuck, ye can call me the Scottish Bastard if ye want, I won’t mind,” he shot her a lopsided grin that made her smile genuinely for the first time in hours.

“Thanks, Johnny. It means a lot,” she murmured. He beamed at her, seemingly happy with her response and she gave him a little nod before exiting the room.

Johnny watched her go, trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest at the mess his best friend had caused. He turned to flick the kettle on, needing some shite like a chamomile tea to help him unwind before bed. He felt far too wired right now. He felt the presence before he heard it and he heaved a sigh.

“Ye want somethin’, LT?” he asked tiredly, glancing over his shoulder. Ghost stood there, gaiter on and all imposing like he usually was but Johnny spotted his tense posture right away. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think his LT was about to fucking murder him.

“What’s your fuckin’ game, Johnny?” Ghost growled. His tone was harsh, harsher than Soap had ever received from him even when he was purposely trying to push his buttons. It made annoyance swell up inside the Scot as he turned to fully face the spectre haunting the kitchen.

“Excuse me?” he asked, making sure to sound as unimpressed as possible. Ghost took a step towards him and Johnny wouldn't be a liar and say it didn’t strike a little fear through him. Mostly because he could see those dark eyes peering over the mask at him and they looked absolutely fucking feral.

“That’s my fuckin’ wife you had your hands all over!” he hissed, sounding half fucking gone as he jabbed a finger in Soaps’ direction. It wasn't just jealousy he could detect in the man's tone, no, it was pure hurt.

“Is that a fuckin’ joke?! Ye think I’m makin’ moves on yer wife?!” Johnny spat, feeling like he might as well have been smacked in the face.

Ghost’s breathing was ragged and Johnny didn't miss the glistening of his eyes. He felt almost positive his big bad LT was on the verge of breaking down and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to will himself some fucking patience to deal with the man.

“I was comfortin’ her, ye wee bawbag! Didn’t ye see her? She was a mess, a mess you caused! And I get it must be hard all this but it's hard on her too and I want her to know she’s got people that care. I want this to fuckin’ work for the both of ye, yer my best friend for Christ’s sake! I’m tryin’ to be the bridge here, the one to help guide you back together!” Johnny frowned.

If he was honest, he felt hurt at Ghost’s implications but he also knew the normally emotionally constipated man was going through a lot right now. The beast of a man's shoulders sagged and Soap saw the switch from Ghost to Simon as he looked down, shaking his head as his fists clenched and unclenched.

“I didn't mean… I know you wouldn't, I just…” Simon couldn't seem to find his words, his voice cracking as he sucked in a painful sounding breath.

“She won’t let me touch her. All I wanna do is hold her and I can't. And then I see you huggin’ her and I…” he trailed off with a shaky voice, nothing but pain in his words and it punched Soap in the gut. He felt for the man, he really did. Five years away from his wife and he wasn't allowed the reunion he so desperately craved. He can only imagine it would drive a man mad.

“Well… if ye hug me then it’ll be like a second hand hug off Charlotte,” he murmured wryly, opening his arms out to him. Simon squinted at him, tilting his head as he looked at him like he’d grown another head.

“Are you fuckin’ daft?” he asked incredulously and Soap laughed lightly.

“Aye, pretty much. Now come here, ye fuckin’ shit stain,” Soap huffed, moving over to hug the man.

Simon’s hands hung limply by his sides for what felt like a whole minute but Soap didn't relent. Finally, he heaved a long suffering sigh before wrapping his arms around Johnny and the Scot knew he needed this hug as much as Charlotte had with how tightly he was gripping him.

“I fuckin’ hate you,” Simon muttered in contempt and Soap smiled to himself.

“Nah, ye love me,” he retorted, not missing a beat. He let go after a few moments not wanting a punch to the dick for taking too long. He’d already pushed it as it was.

“It’ll all work out in the end. Just gotta be patient,” Johnny said carefully, a soft look on his face as he watched his Lieutenant roll his shoulders as if to shake the tension out of them.

“How can you be so sure?” he asked miserably and at that moment, Soap wasn't sure if he was speaking to Ghost or Simon or maybe an odd mix of both.

“I can feel it. Ye both still love each other and I think after some time, you’ll be able to work through it all. Love like this… nothin’ can stop it,” he shrugged honestly and Simon swallowed thickly, the movement making his gaiter bob a little.

“I hope you're right, Johnny,” he admitted quietly, a mere whisper in the kitchen as if he was scared to say it out loud.

Johnny hoped he was right too, he hoped to all the gods to ever exist that Simon could win his wife back. If anyone deserved happiness in this world it was his LT and Johnny wanted him to get that happy ending he’d always tried to deny. The one he’d tried to run from. Like he said, nothing can stop a love like this and it had all come catching up to him now. You can't outrun fate.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x oc #simon ghost riley x oc #simon riley x oc #ghost x reader

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iam-kenough · 4 years

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Will you ever notice me? Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character

Summary: During they wandering in deep snowstorm, man from van der Linde gang found odd looking girl and Dutch decides to take her to camp to see if she can be any use, leading life of outlaw with them. Quickly, new girl develops feelings towards Arthur, but he sees her just as a kid...and she won't take that! It's an original character story that starts in the place where Arthur, Dutch and Micah were supposed to first meet with Sadie. Instead she's already with them. Author’s notes: Hi, I’m new to all that stuff but I tried to write a story and keep this romance slow burning. Also, if the grammar is weird sometimes it’s because english is my second language. ^^ Hope you gonna enjoy it and get back and be ready for drama.

Words count: 2790 Chapter 1 Iris heard gunshots sounds coming from the outside and she curled even more, hidden behind big wooden table with rock in her hand. She did not have any plan, she just imagined that if anyone will come here, she will tear them apart. Her knuckles became white as she grasped cold, uneaven ans sharp surface of a rock. Local gang, O'Driscolls have taken everything from her. They murdered her only brother, the only provider of their household and then this bizzare blizzard happened. Gang searched home for food and all she had left in the end was pack of oatcakes. At first she tried to hunt something using a gun or a bow but she didn't posses enough amo for more than one attempt. So she was sitting there, for almost a week without food and water she needed she drank by eating snow. The O'Driscolls killed her brother and would probably kill her but she was small enough to hide in one of kitchen cabinets. Iris was listening in terror as one of Colm's man slaughter her older brother, Olgierd and she couldn't do anything at this moment - all she possessed then was her night gown, wet from sweat she produced in this stressful moment, sticking to her body. All she could do was to not get killed. She wasn't some kid but her small, petite almost elvish frame and big eyes in bright, toxic green color made her look like one. Or at least younger than she really was. Door to her cabin opened and she saw pair of high boots but owner of boots didn't saw her. Good. It was dark and howling of the wind masked sound of her breathing. Iris waited till he turned around to search thru cabinet. She jumped, he screamed and fall on the floor unconscious. - Micah?! - Dutch furrowed his brows - Arthur, come on, we need to check on him. - Sure - outlaw murmured. If it was for him, he wouldn't check if Micah Bell is safe. He would even make sure that whatever put Micah in danger would kill him. Iris grabbed Micah's guns. She wasn't some Missy who couldn't hold weapon properly. Olgier tought her how to shoot. If this weather wasn't so wild and the amount of amo so short she would be prospering much better now. - Miss? Hey! - Dutch tried to use his charming tone and put his hand in the air. So did Arthur, his emerald eyes piercing thru silhouette in front of them. It was a girl, pale and freckeled, with long black hair that was tangled, her green eyes looking in their direction with fear. Arthur saw one more thing in those odd eyes - fury. - Take him and go away, please! - Iris tightened her grip around guns - I have no interest in harming you - her voice was soothing and sad and she tried to ignore the fact it sounded ridiculous. She reminded Arthur of some kind of magic dryad. - You look like you couldn't harm anyone, miss - Dutch grinned and without any waring he catched her in his arms. Iris dropped one of the guns, the other one was fired in the wooden floor. - GO AWAY! - she screamed at the top of her lungs - LEAVE ME BE! I HAVE NOTHING! - Jesus, girl - Arthur chuckled while he was checking on Micah. Idiot was knocked out but throwing him right in the snow will wake him up - Life wasn't best for you so far, wasn't it? - I have nothing - she sobbed, dangling in Dutch's arms like she was toy made from rags - I have only pack of oatcakes...You can have them if you want...but it's already opened - tone of her voice changed. Iris realised that those man will take these oatcakes and will probably rape and kill her. It will be at least quicker death than starvation. Dutch put her on the floor and with quick, swift move he took away another of Micah's guns. Iris eyes was wandering from Dutch to Arthur to Micah on the floor. -I'm sorry for your friend - she murmured and blushed, looking directly at her dirty feet and bruised knees - I wanted to tell him I'm here but he didn't notice me at first and started lurking. I thought that he gonna shoot me if I would make any sound. - You got him right, haven't you - Arthur chuckled and casually grabbed one of oatcakes. Iris moaned in disappointment, she offered them those cookies just because it was right thing to do. They looked like bounty hunters or something worse, but they didn't seem so wild and dirty as O'Driscolls. They didn't kill her so far too. - You seem like you could use warmer clothes and a plate of hot soup, Miss... - Dutch said, waiting for her name. - I'm Iris, sir. My brother Olgierd was murdered by O'Driscolls few days ago and I have no ammunition nor arrows to hunt. If you could just give me that much I won't bother you - she looked eagerly towards Micah's guns that Dutch was holding. - I'm sorry, you've been offered help and food and you turn it down? Jesus, woman - Arthur rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette. It was second time he spoke this way towards her. Iris examined his apparition. He was big, seemed even bigger because of winter clothes. His face was scarred but handsome as hell and he had the deepest voice she ever heard. But her face didn't show any admiration, she wasn't some stupid Juliet waiting for Romeo to save her. Then she looked at other man. Dutch seemed like some sort of uncle to her, his eyes was warm and he was smiling despite he was even bigger and even more intimidating than Arthur. Then she looked at the guy on the floor and sighed. - I wanna go with you. Even if you gonna murder me in few minutes, that's still better than starving and freezing to death - her sarcasm was sharp even though everyone in room saw emptiness and fear hidden deep in green eyes. She was put on a horse by outlaw's strong hands. He even gave her his coat, navy blue one with nice, tickling fur inside. Her feet still was freezing but she was greatful. She curled her arms around man's body to get even more warmer during trip. He didn't say nothing but he was nicely surprised with her touch, 'cause no woman who just met him would throw her all over him like she just did. Figuratively. - And what's your name? - she asked innocently, making his ear warm with her breath. -Arthur Morgan, miss - he chuckled and clicked his tongue at his horse. FEW DAYS LATER It's been some time since Iris've been rescued. She seemed genuinely happy and she smilled a lot towards others. She proved she can cook better than Mr Pearson and that she could hunt and use guns properly. At first she felt like outsider but Mary-Beth lacked friendship of someone similar to her so badly she basically adopted Iris. She quickly discovered that new girl can read and that they could talk about books and fantasize about fictional romances. That was Iris's face she was showing towards woman in the camp. But she was reserved when it was coming to Micah. He was still throwing daggers with his eyes. - Look, I'm sorry I've hurt you, okay? I won't say it again- Iris said with iritated tone of voice. She has hidden away from everybody and tried to enjoy plate of stew when Micah came, sat in front of her and also was eating but looking right into Iris's face to intimidate her. He was looking like that at her for days, touching bandage wrapped around his head. - I don't accept this apology. I'm gonna stare at you and follow you 'till you gonna lose your appetite and you gonna feel stalked and uncomfortable - and it's gonna be me who's gonna stalk you until you gonna leave the camp. Iris rolled her eyes and breathed havily. - I don't even know why Dutch did bring you - he said with venom on his tongue and then looked at Arthur who joined both of you. - Is he bothering you again, Miss? - he sat next to her. Arthur was eating rather loudly but girl didn't mind. It was slow, weird feeling in her stomach that made her accepting Arthur's weirdness right away. - I'm okay. I guess we gonna have this hate relationship for a long time - she was smiling sarcastically and looking into her plate. - I'm gonna be your nightmare, Iris. - If you fancy me, you should ask me out properly - she showed him her tongue and left both man. Micah was still furious and was following her with his eyes. Arthur chuckled. - She's something, isn't she. If she wasn't, Dutch wouldn't keep her. We already have too much mouths to feed. - Listen, cowpoke, it's not just about taking her with us. You both took her with us after she knocked me out with a fuckin' rock. She's mental. Arthur didn't say nothing. It wasn't his fight and he didn't like taking to Micah. He knew that as long Iris is part of a family because of Dutch's saying so, she was safe even when Micah threated her like this. She was good kid, too, already helping everyone around. He also liked her cooking for the camp, it was nice change comparing to Pearson's skills. - Iris, Iris! - Abigail ran towards new girl. Her eyes was red and she said something to Iris that Arthur couldn't hear. So he got up and come to listen. - He...he's been missing for two days. Everyone here ignores me and says "it's John" but he has me and he has Jack, he needs to be back! - Shhh... - Iris cuddled Abigail like a bear even though she was smaller than her - I will go and search for him, okay? Brother thought me how to track. Arthur's brows furrowed. - You ain't going nowhere, kid. Not alone. - Arthur, go with her then, I know you two will find him! Please, please find him! Outlaw nodded his head without saying anything. He knew that Abigail won't leave him untill he'll find that idiot husban of hers, Marston. There wasn't any words that would calm Abigail when John was missing anyway. Iris was following Arthur, both on their horses. She noticed so far that he didn't talk much and he was rather quiet and shy men, writing or sketching in his journal while he wasn't running errands for Dutch. She was a little bit behind him, enough to examine him without being noticed or considered nosy. He was big and tall and had nice, sun-kissed face. He must be from different parts of country then, she told herself. His beard was freshly trimmed and Iris saw few scars on his face, noticing especially one of them, on Arthur's chin while he was looking around for any tracks. - We gonna go on foot from now, horses won't do here. John's close I think- he wasn't looking at her when he's talking. He seemed occupied with everything around him, but Iris. She didn't know he was just shy, because if it come to woman Arthur was always sure they are laughing at him. Girl just thought she's not much of company. But that was kind of good. This way Iris could admire him for a little longer, he wouldn't notice it. That wasn't like she hadn't love interests before or that she was a hopeless romantic either. But that weird feeling in her stomach was saying "you fancy him, you do". But he won't know it anyway, it's Arthur she was thinking about, the most a-romantic person in the camp. She looked at him even when they were dragging John towards horses. Not constantly, but she peeked every few seconds. His brows were furrowed and he looked rather angry. Well, he was really angry when in no time he had to shoot few wolves. He asked Iris if she's fine with warmth in his voice, ignoring John and his moans of pain completely. When those two returned to camp, Abigail started yelling at John almost immediately she saw him. They were cute, Iris thought. FEW DAYS AFTER Dutch finally decided they gonna have camp in different, warmer place. Snow begin to thawn and the whole bunch of changes coming made everybody excited. They packed everything they had and jumped on their wagon. Iris noticed that Arthur is sitting alone in the last of them and smiled under her breath. There wasn't place next to other girls anyway.-Can I sit here, Mr Morgan? - she asked shyly looking into his eyes. It made her blush a little bit and she put hair behind her ear. She was the only girl in camp having loose hair and it complemented her little face because of deep, black color of them. - Sure, kid - he murmured. Wasn't looking at her either, he refused to notice her rosy cheeks. In fact, when Iris heard being called "kid" something heavy dropped in her stomach. He sees me like someone immature, she murmured to herself. Girl took a place next to him anyway and the ride begin.Arthur wasn't much of a talker and she started worrying he simply doesn't like her. It was almost a month since she joined the gang and Arthur always seemed cold or not interested when he was sharing tasks with her. So she needed to ask but not too quickly so it won't be creepy. - Are you hungry, Mr Morgan? - she chirped, smiling at him. He looked at her surprised. - And what do you have, kid? Ugh. And ouch. - I have beef jerky I made few days ago with Mr Pearson. Everyone already ate them but I have plenty left. Do you want some? He almost blushed. This girl was so kind to him since her first day and Arthur couldn't figure out why. Normally woman treated him like he was air or creep. But she was no woman, she was young girl, Arthur thought, she will learn someday how to pity man like him. - If you want to share it with me - he smirked. - Why not? You are so nice - Iris saw his hands were occupied. She blinked and came with an idea. It will be even more better than just sharing. Her slender fingers slowly put a piece of dried beef to his mouth and he looked at her surprised. Her cheeks flushed and she brushed his lower lip by accident. With any other man it would be clear, she was sweet on him, but he just chuckled and started looking at road again. Was something wrong with her? It has to be my face that's wrong. No way he didn't notice that! If only I could be a little bit seductive - she breathed out with visible irritation. - Y'kay there, kid? - Yeah. Just thinking. - Oh, I get that. Dutch gave us plenty reasons to think, eh? You sure you want to rob that train with us? I know he told you to, but look at you! She did, actually. Her eyes looked at her slender body and stopped on her cleavage. Hm, that might be one of the problems, I'm flat as hell. She was obviously still thinking about what could put Arthur away. He wasn't. - And what do you mean by that, Mr Morgan? He furrowed. Looked like he's searching for right words. - You know, you look so fragile a-and pale. Sure you don't want to stay in camp and cook or read a book with other girls? - he seemed awkward, like he didn't feel good when commenting on Iris. - I will make you sure I am made for those things - she chuckled but it didn't sound iritated, just sweet as always - I am no kid, Mr Morgan, just woman in her twenties. Tilly is younger than me. - But she's different case. Just sayin'. I don't wanna bother you - Arthur's voice was kind and shy as always. It has to be breasts then. Or maybe... maybe he doesn't like short girls? Maybe I should do something with my hair, like all mature woman does? Or is it the fact I didn't wear a dress yet? God, tell me how to make him notice me - she was thinking.

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x oc #romance #fluff #angst #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader

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mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

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I’m Here (Coda to 1x10 “Brainwave Jr.”, Wildstar pre-slash, 3.2k)

Losing Henry was sad, but it's not the first person Courtney knew whose future was snatched by the Injustice Society of America. That doesn't make his death any less tragic. It does remind Courtney how screwed up and dangerous her life was. At least she was able to wake up the next day and keep moving. And so was Beth, and Rick. But Yolanda...

Where was Yolanda? Courtney needs to know.

Courtney’s bag falls to her wrist as her shoulders sag, expectant tension fizzling out in disappointment. She stands frozen at the corner of the school’s hallway, gaze trained on a familiar and abandoned locker. Students and faculty passing it without a second thought, unaware that its owner will no longer have use for the space and all left inside. While the memory stays fresh because it constantly repeats itself every few seconds, Courtney still woke up thinking it might have been a dream. A projection from Brainwave, forcibly implanted in their minds, instead of the awful truth. That she would walk into school and find Henry going about his day like everyone else.

He’d never get the chance again. Like Joey, Joey’s parents… her dad -

“Hey,” she feels a hand snake itself around her elbow, startling Courtney from her thoughts. Beth offers a kind smile while dragging her past Henry’s old locker. “How are you holding up?”

She glances behind her one last time in punishment, answering without thinking. “Better than Henry.”

“I think we can all say that.” Rick joins them, squeezing Courtney in a loose hug on her other side. Their trio walk in silence until they reach Courtney’s locker, letting her search inside for her books. “Yesterday was fucked up.”

“I can’t believe Mr. King…” Beth hugs herself, shivering, “he always seemed kind of… cold, whenever I would run into him at the hospital. But, to do that – to his own son – that’s…”

“Fucked up?”

She sighs, “Yeah, exactly.”

Rick leans against the lockers, staring ahead with a dazed look in his eye Courtney recognizes. She saw it in her own reflection, after washing her face the night Joey died. Like being dragged from icy waters and left on fragile ice, no protection from the freezing winds slashing your skin like knives. Surviving, but barely. “You kept saying he was a villain. And knowing what we know it wasn’t hard to trust you. But being there and watching… If he was willing to do that to his own son… what’s that mean for any of us?”

Courtney stuffs textbooks into their section, steadying herself with a deep breath. “It means we need to strike them before they get at us,” she tells them, voice bouncing off her locker walls. “To prove that Henry didn’t… didn’t sacrifice himself in vain, and that we can stop his father and the others. Prove to them all that good will triumph and…” Losing steam, she closes her locker with a slam. “And everything else.”

Scoffing, Rick pushes off the locker. “And everything else? Real inspiring speech there, Court.” His sarcasm drips off his words and onto her shoes. “Give us the truth, do we have any chance in beating them? Or are we doomed to end up like Henry?”

Before she can answer him, Beth jumps in. “Of course we do,” she says, a brighter, more genuine smile stretched across her face. “We’re the good guys! Plus, we’ll all be together – I don’t see how they can beat us as a team!”

“Beth…” Rick pinches his brow, fighting the smirk twitching on his lips, “I doubt the power of friendship and teamwork will work on cold-blooded killers.”

“Maybe it will if you let yourself believe. You know, Chuck says –“

“I don’t want to hear what your computer boyfriend has to say.”

“Chuck’s not my boyfriend,” she whispers, shoving at Rick while choking on an awkward chuckle. “And he’s not a computer – he’s an AI. An AI of a superhero, who’s in my backpack and can probably hear us.”

Rick’s good mood finally appears, egged on by teasing Beth. “Sorry,” he says, grabbing for her shoulder. A friendly gesture hiding betrayal because he immediately spins her around, loudly talking with her backpack. “I didn’t mean to offend your AI boyfriend!”

“Rick!”

Watching Beth repeatedly slap Rick should have lifted Courtney’s spirits further. They settle at a halfway point, enough that she knows moping around won’t do any good. For Henry, and everyone else in the town, they need to pick up and carry on. She’s thankful for her friends being there, helping her believe in the muddled speech she gave earlier. Beth, Rick, and –

“Hey,” she interrupts their bickering, looking around, “Where’s Yolanda?”

Her question snuffed what little lightness broke through the heavy darkness. Beth draws her hands back from Rick’s collar, wringing them. “Courtney,” she starts, eyes bouncing around everywhere except Courtney, “do you really expect her to be here. After what happened with Henry…?”

Courtney remembers. Escaping from the underground tunnels, tears streaming down hers and the others’ cheeks. Navigating the dark tunnels, searching for the staircase they came down. Yolanda tripping halfway, a sob ripped from her chest alongside Henry’s name. In the next breath Rick picked her up and shouted, “Keep moving!” Courtney trailing after them, numbly letting Beth lead so she can hold the rear. Brainwave, Dragon King, or any of his cronies could have rushed them at that point; she wasn’t paying attention. She was too busy with Yolanda and how she clung so tight her claws ripped through Rick’s cape. Cycling through a number of phrases that didn’t feel right enough.

It didn’t matter. They stopped running, ten blocks from Cindy’s old house. Gasping, tugging on their masks save for Yolanda. In the space between Rick setting her down and Courtney asking if anyone was hurt, she disappeared.

And she refuses to answer any of Courtney’s texts.

“No,” she tells them, “Did I hope…?”

Rick shrugs sympathetically. “Yolanda needs her space right now,” he says, “her and Henry… shit’s complicated. I doubt she’d be able to fake enough enthusiasm to make it through school like she normally does.”

“But it’s not safe,” Courtney fires back, frowning, “The Injustice Society… Beth’s right. We need to be together. If she’s alone and-and upset, it’d be easy for them to pick her off and…” She replaces Henry’s body with Yolanda’s, a frightening chill rushing through her like Jordan grabbed Courtney with his icy hand and squeezed.

Except it’s not Jordan, it’s Beth again. She lets go of her wrist, stepping away. “If Yolanda’s in danger, she’ll call,” Beth tells her, “Besides, it’s daytime right now. The Injustice Society’s been operating in secret for how long? They won’t risk blowing their cover now. If we haven’t heard from her when school ends, then we can go to Pat and go looking. Okay?”

Courtney nods, stomach uneasy. “Okay.” She bites her lip, thinking. “Also, until this is all… sorted out, I think we should be closer, easier to reach in case there is danger. Like… sleepovers?”

Beth claps, bouncing. “Sleepover!” she gasps, “I’ve always wanted to have a sleepover!”

“You know this will be less about braiding hair and more about keeping us alive, right?” Rick asks, crossing his arms.

“I won’t let that take this victory away from me!”

Courtney looks at Rick. “You in? I’m sure my mom will be cool now that she knows about… everything, but she might have you sleep downstairs.”

He rolls his eyes. “Just tell her I’m gay. That nothing’ll happen.”

“Listen, after the Cosmic Rod, I think I’m done lying to my mom for a while…”

“Good thing it’s not a lie.”

“Oh.” Courtney pauses, letting Rick’s tactless declaration sink in so she won’t continue with a foot in her mouth. She was getting too familiar with the taste of shoe leather. “I’m not sure that’ll change her mind, but it’s good to know. Thank you… for telling us.”

Rick’s mouth stretches in a thin smile, haze faded from his eyes. “Honestly thought you knew.” He and Beth set off from Courtney’s locker, slow in their exit. “You coming? The whole sticking together plan won’t work if you get detention for being late… then we’d all have to get detention –“

“I will not,” Beth says, “Courtney don’t get detention!”

Courtney chuckles, swinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll be there, you guys go on ahead…” She waits until they disappear around the corner, her happy expression dropping into seriousness.

Class is the furthest thing on her mind. A waste of her time. She knows what she must do, even if it goes against her own orders. Courtney knows Beth and Rick won’t be mad, though, if her plan works out.

First, she needs to escape. Doing that should take a few minutes, especially with how quickly the halls are emptying. Courtney casually retraces her steps, tiptoeing past closed doors hoping no one spots her. Still, knowing how important it is she leave quickly, Courtney cannot help detouring by the dark training room. Punching bag swinging from the breeze instead of Yolanda’s punches. The dull thud echoing with her grunts, Yolanda truly in her element. In those days when they were still strangers, and she wondered who would join her new Justice Society, Courtney found herself drawn by those noises. Studied her friend’s form and skill, hidden from view. Although Yolanda knew. Always did, but never bothered shooing her off.

Both were glad Yolanda let Courtney watch as long as she did.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be in class?”

Courtney spins, an excuse ready at the draw. She doesn’t use it. Silence preferable given who caught her.

Cameron’s brows dip in confusion, “Hey, Courtney… you okay?” He waves his hand in front of her face, Courtney flinching despite herself. There wasn’t any frost.

“Sorry, Cameron,” she says, slouching, “you caught me off guard.”

“No kidding…” He pulls tighter on his backpack strap, other hand buried in his pocket. “So… what’re you doing?”

Nothing she can tell him about. When Courtney pieced together Jordan’s identity, she briefly considered what it meant for her and Cameron. She did mourn the possibility of something more happening between them, but the biggest feeling Courtney had about that being over was relief. “I was on my way to the bathroom,” she lies, “because of… girl issues.”

He blinks at her. “Girl issues?”

“Y’know,” she gestures at her body, “the usual. Think I’d get a break because of the accident, but no… time stops for no woman.”

Cameron understands, a slight blush dusting his pale cheeks. “Oh, I… I hope you feel better,” he says, shifting on his feet, “Hey, if you’re not busy later –“

“Sorry Cameron, gotta go!”

Courtney disappears, rushing off from the scene. She doesn’t stop until she sees the doors leading to the parking lot, practically barreling into them. However they refuse her, knocking her away. Not taking rejection lightly, Courtney tries again. And again. Rattles the push bar so loudly she’s sure anyone in a five-mile radius can hear her. Huffing, Courtney kicks the door and collapses against it.

“Stupid… door… why won’t you… open…?”

She hears someone clear their throat behind her, Courtney tensing. Peeling herself off the door, Courtney sees the school’s janitor standing a few feet away. Staring disapprovingly, no doubt frowning from behind his bushy beard. Mop held at his side like a sword, scabbarded in its bucket. “Are you trying to leave?”

“Leave?” Courtney snorts, waving his question off, “No… why would I – that’s…” Wincing, she braces for what comes next. “Please don’t tell the principal!”

Eyes closed, she hears what happens next. How the janitor walks closer, mop bucket rolling after him like a trusty steed. His soft humming accompanied by the jingling of a few keys. Finally, the squeaking of hinges as the doors open. Courtney pries her eyes open, gaping at the janitor. He holds it open for her, waiting.

“I don’t understand,” she says, “Why’re you -?”

“I’m sure there are more important places you need to be.”

While cryptic, Courtney shoves her suspicions aside. Questioning her janitor can be saved for a later date, when she can ask Pat if any of the Injustice Society had beards, talked in a strange accent, and were named Justin. Until then, Courtney thanks him and runs outside. Finds the Rod waiting at the parking lot’s entrance, hovering in place. “Hey,” she says, petting its head, “I know you need your rest, but…”

--------------------

She was in the woods. Courtney descends from the sky, silent, as Yolanda tears through another tree. Many others laid strewn about the bloodless battlefield, victims of her claws. Given the amount, Courtney guesses Yolanda was there all night. She hadn’t gone home, slept, ate, or even changed her outfit. The Wildcat bodysuit looked duller, dust from the tunnel’s debris untouched. Peering closer, Courtney saw some in her hair.

Rick was right. This is some complicated shit.

Yolanda stops, one hand raised above about to slice through more wood. “I know you’re there Courtney,” she says, “can you please leave me alone?”

Courtney jumps off the Rod, it flying off like it knew they should have space. “I think alone is the last thing you should be.” She walks closer, careful. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She swings her hand down, Courtney wincing as metal nails meet wood. “Not really.”

Nodding, Courtney changed course and sat on one of the fallen logs. Watched Yolanda finish eviscerating the tree’s trunk until it couldn’t stand any longer. The tree fell onto one of the others with a loud crash. Its death wail hiding Yolanda’s own screams that left her ragged and clutching onto the base of the trunk. Courtney’s heart twists at the sight, and her fingers twitch on her knees. She doesn’t move, though.

“Feel better?”

Yolanda catches her breath. She punctures the trunk with her claws, voice a deep growl. “No,” she says, “because it wasn’t Brainwave. None of them were Brainwave.”

Studying the massacre again, a heavy weight settles in her stomach. “Yolanda,” she starts, “are you seriously thinking of killing –“

“Yes.” Yolanda turns on her heel, facing Courtney. Shoulders squared and head held high, she almost convinced Courtney. Except her bottom lip wobbles slightly. “After what he did to his own son? What he promised to do to you, your family… there’s only one way of stopping him.”

“Yolanda,” Courtney stands, frowning, “you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re the good guys,” she hisses, striding closer, “Good guys don’t kill. We stop the people who want to kill.” On instinct she grabs for Yolanda’s wrist, only for the other girl to snatch it away. Nerves fraying at the action.

“Funny,” she scoffs, glaring, “were you the good guy when you fried his brains? When you put him in a coma?”

Courtney blushes, faltering somewhat. “It was an accident,” she tells Yolanda, “I had only just gotten the Rod. I didn’t mean to –“

“Which is why he’s still walking. Why he was able to…” Yolanda skips over the words, shaking her head. She pops her claws, holding them between her and Courtney. “I won’t make the same mistake you made.”

“Yolanda…” she sighs, running a hand through her hair. She’s conflicted. A small voice in her head sides with her friend, thinking how a man as awful as Henry King doesn’t deserve life if he would so flippantly take it from people he should care about – like his wife and son. But another one, a voice she thinks is her father’s, overpowers the crueler instinct. “I won’t let you make that mistake.”

“I. Don’t. Care,” she spits, slashing the air, “I’ll go at him by myself if I have to. Let him try and stop me.”

Again, the image of Yolanda buried under a pile or rubble pops into view. Seeing it spurs Courtney forward, and she seizes her friend’s hand despite the sharp nails. “No! He’ll kill you!”

“Courtney –“

“Please, Yolanda,” she says, trusting her gut as she drags Yolanda into a hug despite her rigidness. “Please… don’t go after him alone. You saw what he can do, I can’t… just, promise me.”

The silence stretches on more than Courtney would like, but thankfully Yolanda agrees. “Fine,” she says, “I won’t go after him alone.” She shifts in Courtney’s hold, “But I have to… he has to pay, for what he did to Henry.”

Courtney curls her fingers around Yolanda’s neck, closing her eyes. “Do you think Henry would want you to kill his dad?”

Yolanda shudders, breath wet on Courtney’s neck. She waits as the other girl considers her question, defenses slowly crumbling. Her arms rise and wrap around Courtney’s back while a sob breaks free. “It’s not fair,” she hiccups, “it’s not fair!”

“I know Yolanda, I know…”

“No, it… I spent so much time hating Henry. Believing he was nothing more than an evil bully. Convincing myself that if he were to die, that I wouldn’t feel a thing. Hell, I almost eviscerated him myself. There were so many times that I could, that I wanted to. I mean, he ruined my life. But at the end I… I still loved him.” Her knees wobble, so Courtney guides them to the floor. Courtney kneeling, with Yolanda stretched out across her lap. “And now he’s gone. Because he trusted his father to be a good man, when really he’s scum. Maybe we could’ve worked on what we had, or maybe I could have forgiven him. That was taken away from me. He died and I couldn’t forgive him. I still can’t forgive him for what he did… even after he gave his life for us. I’m not a good guy Courtney. I’m an animal…”

“You’re not an animal Yolanda,” Courtney tells her, stroking her hair. She tucks her head under chin, resting on the helmet. “Yolanda, you’re a hero. You’re exactly the kind of person I knew you were when I gave you Wildcat’s costume. And what Henry did… what Brainwave did, that doesn’t change anything. Because you’re strong. That’s why you never gave in, why you won’t let yourself kill Brainwave even though every part of you may want to. You won’t let yourself sink to their level.”

“I’m tired of having to be strong all the time,” Yolanda says, “Why can’t it be easy?”

Courtney sighs, “I wish they were. I wish my dad wasn’t a superhero, and he and all the others weren’t killed. But he's gone, and they’re gone… so it’s up to us to stop the bad guys.”

“Do we have to stop them now?”

Pausing, Courtney’s lips quirk up in a tiny smile. “No… no, not right now. We can just sit here and be easy. Sound okay with you?”

Yolanda nods, “I’d like that.”

They stay like that for a while, Courtney holding Yolanda. Rocking her slowly, gently like the waves. Yolanda’s body relaxes in her arms, breaths evening until Courtney thinks she’s asleep. When she says the other girl’s name and gets no response, she continues at a whisper. “I’m sorry so much has been taken from you,” Courtney tells her, staring up at the cloudless sky, “I won’t let them take anything else. We’re going to beat them. You, me… Beth, Rick, even Pat… we’re the Justice Society. The good guys. Good always wins in the end.”

In the forest, surrounded by fallen trees and with a slumbering Yolanda in her lap, Courtney finally believes in what she said. The lingering shadows of Henry’s death shed from her mind, the wisps disappearing into the sky. A hushed voice breaks through her lazy thoughts, thanking Courtney. Before she can wonder who said that, Yolanda stirs in her grasp.

Distracted, Courtney soothes her tired friend. “It’s okay Yolanda, I’m here… nothing will happen. And if it does? I’ll protect you…”

#stargirl #stargirl cw #1x10 brainwave jr #courtney whitmore #wildcat #yolanda montez #beth chapel #rick tyler #wildstar #stargirl x wildcat #stargirl fic #wildstar fic

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niallsstainedcoffeecup · 5 years

Text

The Boss Part 2

Y/N is Harry’s personal assistant and girlfriend. Can Y/N and Harry hide their relationship, or will the New York office discover their secret? Hope you all enjoy. The lovely @shegotthesalt requested this second part. Feedback and Requests are welcomed. Lots of Love!

WARNINGS: CONTAINS SMUT - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

White, wispy clouds swam around the blue sky. Over the years, rain and heat feasted on the bakery’s faded white lettering. The red ‘open’ sign died five years ago, but everyone lined up down the sidewalk because the bakery always opened. Foodies ventured across the world to taste Dream Cakes,’ traditional sweets. Harry’s black Gucci slippers clicked with each step. His fingertips brushed the cold, red brick building. Memories flooded past his crystal green eyes. His toe nicked the sidewalk crack where the clumsy sixteen-year-old Harry tripped and broke his wrist. The cold metal handle reminded him of the winter night when his ex-girlfriend, Emily, kissed a seventeen-year-old Harry breathless while the handle dug into his back. The burnt orange sweater hugged his knuckles to comfort his weak heart. He dreamt about visiting the first job he ever loved, but fear cemented his feet. He worried Beth and Meredith might view him as the cold CEO his father became. Anne ordered him to visit the bakery while she explored the town with Y/N. His eyes spotted the rickety table near the windows where his chubby toddler hands gripped Anne’s arm while they munched on Beth’s Victorian sponge cake. “Harry? What are you doing here?” His ears perked up at the sound of Beth’s honey-sweet voice. Beth’s peppered hair sparkled under the warm sunlight. Her beaming grin cracked her thin lips. The squeaky counter door swung open, releasing the toddling older woman. Harry smiled, blinking back joy-filled tears. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled, opening his arms. The older woman tutted, dusting the flour from her apron, “I don’t want to ruin your fancy suit.” He rolled his eyes, embracing the fragile woman. He recalled difficult days when the pressure collected inside his body like a shaken soda ready to explode. Once he dropped a fresh loaf or ruined a customer’s order, Beth calmed his sobbing figure with free cake and hugs. “Why are you sorry?” She asked, cupping his cheeks. He frowned, “I haven’t visited in nine years.” “We forgive you. We understood the importance of your career. Your mother informed us about the raises and promotions,” She smiled, returning to the stool behind the counter. He eyed the displays filled with familiar treats. He wondered which cake represented the shop but fit Y/N’s liking. “I’ll buy three Victorian sponge cakes. I want to surprise my assistant,” He flipped through his wallet, missing the knowing-smile on Beth’s face. The shop owner secured the yellow sponge cakes inside the white box with a knotted beige string. Harry’s left arm clutched the box against his chest while his right arm squeezed Beth. “I promise to visit more,” He smiled, exiting the small bakery. Yellow sunshine cascaded onto his giddy figure. A permanent smile warmed his heart. He couldn’t wait until Y/N tasted the bakery’s sweets.

* * * * * * The orange broccoli cheddar soup bubbled inside the turquoise bowl. Fresh sourdough bread greeted Y/N’s nose and rumbling stomach. Anne’s words blurred together while she scanned the vibrant yellow and olive green paintings hung around the gray walls. “Are you dating my son?” Her boss’s mother asked, startling the assistant’s eyes away from the sunflowers located near the register. She gulped, gripping the perspiring glass of lemon water, “No, why would Harry and I be dating?” Anne smiled, nudging the blackened tomatoes across the turquoise plate, “My son brings you everywhere with him, but this time feels different. He looks at you as if you hung the moon.” She snorted, shoveling soup into her mouth. Her fluttering heart threatened to expose the secret relationship. She never imagined developing strong emotions for her boss, but here she sat missing his presence while she ate lunch with his mother. “I’m glad he visited the bakery. He loved that job,” Anne mumbled between mouthfuls. Y/N pictured a sixteen-year-old Harry selling bread. Had she known him back then, she would have spent a majority of her time visiting the bakery. “I thought he’d start his own business. During the weekend, he’d bake treats for Gemma and me,” The mother smiled, reminiscing on those sweet moments. Y/N frowned, cracking the thick bread in half, “Why didn’t he?” Anne rolled her eyes, “His father believed that Harry would never succeed in opening his bakery. My husband ran the London office. He’d return home late at night, and it took a toll on our relationship. I couldn’t live with a man who returned home to his family one night a week. Once we divorced, Harry’s father pressured him into joining the business. He applied, and in two years he took over the business.” Harry rarely discussed his father aside from business matters. She didn’t question his reasoning because she suspected some underlying problem. Did her boyfriend enjoy working at the London office? Did he blame his father for getting him stuck in the business? Anne’s warm hand cupped her hands, breaking Y/N’s train of thought. “You are good for him. You woke up the part of Harry I thought disappeared,” The older woman grinned, patting Y/N’s hands once more before slipping out from the black booth. She ripped her thighs from the sticky, black leather. She decided against arguing with Anne and took the compliments. A giggly grin spread across her face because her boyfriend’s mother approved of her for her son. She sent a quick message to her boyfriend. I miss you. I’ll see you at the house-xoxo

* * * * * * Photographs and knick-knacks lined Harry’s childhood dresser. The red cologne bottles he purchased one year to smell nice for his ex-girlfriends gathered around the mirror. The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, and Elton John posters decorated the pastel blue walls. He cursed the squeaky metal bed-railing. Y/N proposed lodging pillows between the wall and the railing, but the pillows slipped after a hard thrust. Luckily, Anne left the couple alone for dinner, but he worried the bed would indent the thin walls. However, Y/N’s swollen lips distracted his concerns. His desperate cries echoed throughout the empty house. After the final cry, he landed beside her sweaty body. Her trembling fingers gripped her racing heart while she focused on inhaling and exhaling. As the couple laid there in comfortable silence, he began thinking about his life with her, he never imagined dating his beautiful assistant. During the first interview, her resume exceeded the men and women outside his office. Her new accounting degree and her confidence reassured his churning stomach. Before Y/N, he worried about disappointing his father, but now, he couldn’t care less about the company, just as long as she was in his life. “What are you thinking about?” She asked, pecking his jawline. He glanced down, “I’m thinking about you. You’re amazing.” “I know,” She giggled, closing her drooping eyes. He chuckled, running his fingers down her warm back, “Do you think my mom knows about us?” “She knows, but I don’t care. I don’t think she’ll tell the office.” He smiled, shutting his exhausted eyes. Her slow breathing calmed his fluttering heartbeat. He hoped the office would never discover their relationship. What would his life be without her? Harry shoved the terrifying thought away, and instead focused on their synced heartbeats.

* * * * * *

The orange morning sun rose above the tall, glass buildings. Co-workers exited the crowded elevator with drooping smiles and furrowed brows. The roasting coffee beans filled empty mugs and masked the scent of printed paper. Y/N’s red heels clicked against the gray tile. She paced back and forth, eyeing the glowing elevator buttons. Her twitching hands wrung her wrists. This morning, she arrived before the sun peeked above the tall buildings. She prepared a small buffet of donuts, bagels, and fruit inside the breakroom. During their last night with Anne, the New York office contacted Harry, three representatives from the New York branch planned on visiting and reviewing the London office’s production levels. He reassured the office that their jobs would be safe, but her stomach twisted into knots. She attempted to file his reports, but her nervous heart refused to relax. Instead, she decided to wait until he arrived with the New York business partners. Her black business phone buzzed inside her pocket. We’re on our way.-H She straightened her black pencil skirt. She inhaled, scowling at the printed paper scent that intruded her nose. The elevator ding rang out above the clicking keyboards. The metal doors slid open, revealing Harry, two women, and one man. “Good morning. I’m Mr. Styles’s assistant, and this is our workroom. We set up a breakfast buffet inside the breakroom for you,” She chirped, plastering the widest grin on her face. The stone-faced group strutted around her figure. Harry noticed her smile falter for a second before she reminded herself to stay strong. His heart begged him to scoop her up, but the New York group waited inside the boardroom for him, so instead, he busied his hands by fixing his gray suit. He shot her a half-smile before he hurried into the dull room. She sighed, dragging her fingers through her neat hair. She trudged toward the breakroom to clean up the breakfast buffet before ants invaded the office. She searched through cardboard boxes for plastic bags. “I hate to bother you, but is the buffet still open?” The thick New-York accent startled her away from the squeaky cabinets. The tall, thin red-head man leaned against the doorframe. His gray eyes sent unsettling chills down her spine. His thin lips twisted upwards into a permanently smug grin. She offered her friendliest grin, “Of course. How was the flight?” The man huffed, stabbing the dewy cantaloupe with the plastic fork, “I’m exhausted. I need three more coffees to stay awake.” She giggled, “I understand. I visited California last summer, and I spent the first two days asleep.” “I wish I could sleep. I’m Darren Gibson by the way,” Darren offered his available hand for her. She shook his hand, wondering how the man kept his hands soft, “It’s lovely to meet you. I better head back to Harry’s office. I need to call a few people.” “Harry?” Darren asked, quirking his eyebrow at Y/N. Her stomach dropped the instant Harry’s name escaped her mouth. Her smile remained, but her eyes widened as if she’d seen a ghost. Her sweaty palms pressed into her thighs. She cleared her throat, searching for a reason why she’d call her boss by his first name. “Did I say Harry? I meant Mr. Styles. I’ll see you around,” She rushed past his confused figure. The New Yorker admired her beautiful body as she dashed across the room. His lower stomach fluttered at the thoughts racing through his mind. He wondered how Mr. Styles managed to keep things work related between him and Y/N. Would Harry hook her up with him?

* * * * * * Can you bring us the files on my desk?- H. The crisp manila folders towered on Harry’s mahogany desk. She huffed, massaging her aching shoulder blades. How could she carry twenty folders into the boardroom? The cold paper slid across her warm arms until they bumped into her chest. She bumped the glass door open with her hips. Co-workers watched her shuffle toward the boardroom with twenty files stacked on her arms. The New York women ignored her kicks to the door. The women continued presenting on new hiring methods. Harry attempted to focus on the presenters, but his heart ordered him to save his girlfriend. He gripped the spongey chair handles, rolling backward to stand up, but Darren jumped up before he could. The red-head opened the door with the widest grin Harry ever saw. “Here, let me help you with that,” Darren mumbled, stealing the files from her trembling arms. She smiled at the relief, “Thank you. Nobody offered to help.” “Well, I’d always help you. Are you staying for the meeting?” Darren asked, offering his chair to her. She shook her head, “No sir, Mr. Styles sent me a list of duties to complete before the day is over. I’m sorry to interrupt the meeting.” His smile fell once she exited the room. Harry quirked an eyebrow at the New Yorker’s behavior. Last year, he visited the New York office where Darren greeted him with the strongest scowl. Now, Darren tripped over his small feet for Y/N and sighed once she left. The pieces connected within his mind. Darren fancied her. He glared, gripping the brown pen in his fist. His blood boiled at the thought of Darren flirting with his girlfriend. He imagined rubbing their relationship in Darren’s stupid face. “Mr. Styles, what do you think?” The brunette asked, furrowing her brows. He coughed, examining the slideshow filled with complicated text, “I agree.” “Great, you will visit the New York office once a month to help with the hiring process,” The gray-haired woman grinned. He nodded eagerly despite the frown spreading across his face. He despised the New York office. The workers seemed like emotionless robots who fired one another at the drop of a hat. His heart recalled his father’s trips to New York, which ruined his parent’s marriage. Could he leave Y/N every month? Would she stay by his side? His mind flittered back to his father’s advice. The office will sustain your life forever. The bakery dream will never work, and I refuse to help you fulfill a failed dream. He rolled his eyes, joining the conversation about worker income. He blocked the inner sorrow festering within his heart. He repeated his father’s words until his dreams faded away.

* * * * * * “Is Y/N single?” Harry sputtered red wine across his creamy, garlic pasta. Darren’s gray eyes bored into his green eyes, “Are you okay?” He nodded, dabbing the white napkin across his mouth. Jenny, the gray-haired woman, patted his back, while Susan smirked, stabbing the bleeding steak with the shiny fork. Blood rushed toward his cheeks, sending a nervous sweat down his back. Did Darren know about his secret relationship? Did Darren plan on asking his girlfriend out? Could he tell that Harry was stalling? He cleared his throat and straightened his jacket. “No, she’s in a relationship. I did not ask her out, nor did I inquire about her personal life. She told me one afternoon while we discussed work,” He mumbled. Darren sucked his teeth before returning to his grilled salmon, “That’s too bad. She’s gorgeous.” He nervously smiled, twirling noodles around his fork and spoon. The two women discussed Susan’s recent wedding while he continued to panic. He gulped the buttery noodles down his closing throat. His rapid heartbeat threatened to expose his inner turmoil. “Hey, are you okay?” Jenny asked, patting his arm. He nodded, “I think the lights made me a bit warm. I’ll be fine.” The table nodded, continuing their conversation. Harry laughed when everyone laughed, but his mind refused to focus on Susan’s wedding stories. His eyes admired the sparkling stars that recently awoke to take their place among the dark sky. He recalled a starry night when he and Y/N cuddled on his outdoor couch, and he swore he spotted the galaxy within her eyes. He wished she had attended the dinner with him. She could calm him down faster than his mother used to. She had planned a date night tonight, but he canceled after Darren suggested a night out. He swallowed the guilt, ignoring the images of his sobbing mother arguing with his stern father. The red wine numbed the memories and his guilt. “Harry, are you listening?” Susan asked, drying the grease from her thin lips. He nodded, “You told a story about your drunk aunt?” Jenny frowned, “We moved on from that story. We were discussing the details about tomorrow. Will it be okay if we watch how the office runs on a day to day schedule?” “Of course. I’m sorry, I must be tired. Will you walk around, or will you stay in my office?” Darren shook his head, “Don’t worry about your office. We want to watch the workers.” “Great, we will show you how everything works. Should we grab the check? I bet you are all exhausted,” He smiled, biting back a yawn. Jenny and Susan nodded while Darren checked the time on his gold watch. Harry wondered how Darren entered the business. Did his father also work for the company? Did he fuck his way to the top? He despised Darren’s permanent smug grin. Why did he make a move on his girlfriend?

* * * * * * Boxes, tables, and worn sneakers created a dangerous maze toward the dim light. The white linen curtains blocked the starlight from entering the tiny apartment. Harry toed off his suffocating leather shoes while his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He searched for sound, the turning of a page, a snore, or the tiny whistle that escaped her nose at this time of night. Silence. He frowned, embracing the sorrowful heartbeat that echoed throughout his slumped body. He imagined her arms wrapped around his body while she whispered sweet nothings into his ears. He hoped she could rescue his panicked heart and reassure him that their jobs would be okay. The bedroom door squeaked open. He spotted her matted ponytail first before he found her face snug against the pillow. Drool soaked the dark blue sheets, creating a darker pool near her pouting lips. He smiled, removing stray hairs from her warm cheeks. After releasing his tense body from the starchy suit, he slipped inside her warm bed. A soft groan escaped her mouth after he cuddled up to her warm body. He imagined going to bed every night with her. He never believed in love after his father ended his marriage for work, but Y/N restored those lost emotions. He could never picture himself dating another woman. “I know I haven’t told you this, hell, you must be waiting for me to say this, but I’m terrified. I’m in love with you,” He whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead, “I’m sorry about the garlic breath.” The moonlight lulled his restless mind to sleep. His arms never moved from her waist, and she never tossed away from his chest. The couple’s heartbeats synced up while he dreamt about his true love. Everything would be okay.

* * * * * * Cigarette smoke swam above the crowded bar. Dim white lights and neon alcohol signs illuminated the dark room. Twenty people shouted different drink orders at the young bartender. The rest of the crowd circled the black stage where a tall, thin brunette man performed his original songs. Harry wrapped his sturdy arm around Y/N’s waist while they watched their friend, Mitch, perform with his drummer girlfriend, Sarah. “Mitch sounds great tonight,” Y/N shouted over Mitch’s guitar solo. Harry nodded, smiling at his girlfriend’s beautiful eyes, “You look beautiful under those neon signs.” She snorted, slapping his chest, “Shut up. You look good with all that cigarette smoke swarming around your head.” He chuckled, squeezing his girlfriend’s hips, “Thank you. You saved everyone’s jobs today.” Susan, Jenny, and Darren mentioned firing ten people, but Y/N argued everyone’s importance. The New York office returned to their hotel rooms without firing anyone. “I couldn’t ruin anyone’s life today,” She mumbled, eyeing the nearby stranger’s heels. He cupped her cheeks, pressing his lips delicately against her smooth lips. The music evaporated into silence while her lips soothed his worries. He broke away, opening his mouth to profess his love for his beautiful assistant. “Y/N, I need to tell you something,” He softly mumbled. She nodded, locking her eyes with those starry green eyes, “What is it?” He cleared his throat, relaxing once her hands covered his hands, “I—” “Y/N, Harry, what are you two doing here?” That dreaded accent sent chills down his spine. Y/N gasped, removing her hands from Harry’s face while greeting Darren’s smug smirk with her nervous one, “Darren.” The New Yorker’s smile dropped the instant he realized Harry’s hands were on Y/N’s face, “Are you two dating?” Harry snorted, stepping further away from his girlfriend’s warm body, “No, we wouldn’t break company policy. What are you doing here?” “You mentioned something about a friend performing, so I thought I’d check it out. Y/N, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Darren smirked, patting her shoulder. “I’m okay,” She promised, rubbing her elbows. Darren nodded, tossing back the last droplets of beer, “Good because I thought you might be worried about being fired.” Harry glared, “Hey, what are you talking about?” “You two are dating, and it is against company policy,” Darren smirked, refusing to remove his eyes from her crumbling figure. “We aren’t dating. We are two friends hanging out,” Harry argued. Darren nodded, “Sure, and I didn’t spot you two kissing earlier, Harry, your father will protect your job, but you should learn not to fuck your assistants.” Harry growled, clenching his fists. He prepared to knock Darren’s stupid smirk off that hideous face, but Y/N’s heart-wrenching sobs silenced the two men. She shook her head, shoving past Darren and Harry and toward the exit. His heart reacted before his fist could connect with Darren’s face. His feet raced after his sobbing girlfriend while Darren dialed Jenny and Susan’s number. The London office would never be the same.

* * * * * * “Y/N, will you stop walking?” Harry begged, chasing after his girlfriend’s slumped shadow. She rolled her eyes, dragging her sleeve across her nose, “Harry, I ruined your future.” “You couldn’t ruin my future,” He shouted, avoiding the deep sidewalk cracks. Her heels spun around on the damp sidewalk. The full moon reflected on her crocodile tears. His feet skidded to a stop while his heart cracked at the sight of his girlfriend. “I know about your parents. I know that your father never approved of your dreams and that your mother divorced him because of his job. I don’t want to be like your parents. I don’t want to lose you because of this job,” She cried out, flinging her arms through the air. He nodded, “I understand. You don’t think I’m terrified? I watched my father throw his wedding ring on my mother’s sobbing figure. I watched him fuck a million women while my mother lived a life of solitude? I don’t want to be my father. I’ve spent my entire life trying to impress him, but the man could care less about his son. I’ve thrown away my dreams for him, and I won’t do it this time. I’m in love with you.” Her eyes popped open the instant those words enter her ringing ears, “You love me?” He nodded, biting back his dopey grin, “I love you, and I will follow you wherever.” She giggled, wiping away tears of joy, “I love you.” He smiled, striding across the sidewalk to scoop the love of his life into his arms. His lips attacked her face with tiny pecks. She tossed her head back, erupting into a fit of giggles. His lips captured her soft lips, silencing the giggles. The world slowed around the couple as they celebrated their professed love.

* * * * * * The steaming coffee squirted into the gray mug, droplets escaped the mug, staining the glossy exterior. Chatter echoed down the long, white halls. Co-workers discussed the recently discovered office romance between their boss and his assistant. The clipboard hugged Y/N’s chest while her yellow nails gripped the worn sides. Her black work phone dinged with warning messages from Harry. Susan, Jenny, and Darren would arrive any minute and end her career in the London office. She sighed, ripping open two yellow sugar packets above the dark liquid. She carried the two mugs toward the glass office she’d miss. “Good morning,” She smiled, setting the cups onto the desk. Harry glanced up from her desk where he placed her frames inside a cardboard box, “Morning, how are you?” “I’m ready,” She smiled, pecking his rosy lips. He chuckled, “I love you. Can you finish this? I need to pack up my office.” She nodded, swatting at his bum, “I love you.” He entered his dark office where he lived for the past nine years. A relieved sigh escaped his rosy lips. He slipped delicate metal picture frames inside his cardboard box while his mind centered around his new job. A soft knock distracted his thoughts as he spotted his girlfriend and the New York group near his door. “Come in,” He called out. Susan, Jenny, and Darren entered, followed by Y/N’s confident figure. Darren stole his comfy office chair, unlike Susan and Jenny who stood near the glass door. “Mr. Styles, your father emailed us about the issue at hand. He reassured us that this was a mistake and that you would be continuing your position at this firm,” Jenny stated. “Would I have to break up with Y/N?” He asked, ignoring Darren’s noticeable eye-roll. “Yes, you would have to dump the assistant you fucked,” Darren grumbled, jumping to his feet. Y/N huffed, “Mr. Gibson, I do not appreciate your statements about me. I’d love to complain to your office that you harassed me all week.” Darren shot daggers toward her, “Go ahead. No one will believe a girl who slept with her boss.” “Mr. Gibson, I suggest you stop talking. Mr. Styles, will you take the offer?” Susan asked. He shook his head, glancing in his girlfriend’s direction, “I’m in love with Y/N. I cannot work here if I cannot be with her.” “You both will be fired,” Jenny reminded him of the consequences once more. He nodded, “I understand. I’ll pack up my items.” Susan, Jenny, and Darren exited the office with permanent scowls. Y/N giggled, leaping into Harry’s sturdy arms. He chuckled, pressing his lips against her coffee-flavored lips. They lost their jobs, but their future never looked brighter.

* * * * * * Warm sunlight filtered through the large windows surrounded by green vines. Floral paintings decorated the white walls. Black metals tables sat evenly along the red Spanish tile. Fresh bread and cakes greeted every grinning customer’s noses. Harry danced around his fellow bakers to take orders and bake new recipes. Customers ventured across the world to taste his delicious cakes. Anne, Beth, and Meredith visited his bakery last week to celebrate his success. His dimpled grin never left his face. “Harry, you have a customer,” Tom shouted from the register. Harry huffed, dropping the cream cheese frosting bag onto the table. His red velvet cupcakes sat unfinished while he washed the sticky icing from his fingers. He shuffled into the main bakery where his beautiful girlfriend stood behind the counter. “Hey, what are you doing off early? I thought your boss needed you to go over those tax reports?” He asked, squeezing his girlfriend’s body. She giggled, pressing her lips onto his sweet ones, “I finished my work early. I missed you.” He smiled, “I missed you too.” “Do you need help back there?” She asked, smirking at Tom’s eager nods. He rolled his eyes, swatting at Tom’s arm, “We’re fine. I’ll be home in an hour. Do you feel like going out tonight?” “Sure, where are we going?” She wondered. He shrugged, “I figured we could grab dinner and watch a movie.” “Sounds great. I’ll see you later. I love you,” She called out, waving goodbye as she exited the bakery. “I love you more,” He promised, clutching his chest. He returned to his red velvet cupcakes while Tom started cleaning around the bakery. After Tom headed home, Harry flicked the bakery lights off. He looked forward to his date night with Y/N.

* * * * * * Soft jazz flowed throughout their bathroom. Pink bubbles tickled Y/N and Harry’s hot skin. Red wine stained his rosy lips. “Okay, would you rather have feet for hands or hands for feet?” She asked through giggles. He snorted, “That’s easy. I’d rather have hands for feet. Imagine my sex life with four sets of hands.” She scoffed, splashing his chest, “You are the worst.” “I know I am,” He poked out his tongue, “Would you rather never smell again or never taste again?” “Isn’t taste related to smell?” She asked, leaning against the cold tub. He rolled his eyes, “Why are you a nerd? Hey, do you have work tomorrow?” She shook her head, sipping the bitter red wine, “No.” “I’m glad you found that accounting job,” He mumbled, popping bubbles near his chest. She frowned, cupping his flushed cheeks, “I don’t blame you for losing my job as your assistant. We loved each other, and fate brought us here. I’ve never been happier.” He nodded, “I’m lucky to have you in my life.” “Me too. Should we change into our pajamas and watch a romantic comedy?” She asked, reaching for the drain. “Yes, I’ll grab our pajamas.” Red flannel pajamas warmed her body after she exited the tub. Pink bath water and roses circled the drain. Hugh Grant’s voice replaced the smooth jazz. Harry tugged Y/N toward the large bed where his silky sheets awaited the couple. She snuggled her nose against his neck while his arm wrapped around her shoulders. A dreamy sigh parted his lips. He owned his bakery, fell in love with his assistant, and found happiness again. Harry couldn’t imagine life getting any better.

#mine #writing #story #fanfic #fanfiction #1d #1d imagine #1d imagines #one direction #one direction imagine #one direction imagines #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #lovers #boss! harry #ceo! harry

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twdmusicboxmystery · 5 years

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TWD 10x02: We Are The End of the World - Details

Okay, let's talk details. I’ll go through them chronologically.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x02. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

We start with the woman in the car, which I talked about yesterday. I thought the blaring horn was a call back to the Wolves in S6. That’s interesting because this was about Alpha and Beta, and we think the Wolves were a foreshadow of the Whisperers. I can't help but wonder if some sort of loud noise or horn will figure and whatever happened to Beth after Coda.

When Alpha meets Beta in the hospital, Lydia wants to wash the off the walker blood. Alpha asks, "Is there water?" He points to where she can find some, and she does. Because they’re in a hospital, this is yet another example of water being available at Grady or, if they’re a part of the helicopter people, then with the helicopter people. The point is, they'll be the ones with access to water.

When the two sisters are walking, gathering walkers with Beta, one of them closes her eyes and talks about how the sun feels different today, like it's burning into their skin.

I kind of wondered if that might be a radiation reference, especially as they see the satellite fall in this episode. Her looking up the sky also reminded me vaguely of Daryl and Beth looking at the sky in the Inmates. This is where the sister says that she should have left her behind.

We then see Alpha giving Lydia a bath. There are a lot of background things in the hospital that caught my eye. Mostly graffiti and posters. But a lot of them point to Beth dialogue. Some of them are simply about hope, others of them suggest “you are still alive,” “why am I still alive?” Etc. One of the posters has both the words “Still” and “Alone” on it. Ring any bells? 😉 Here are some if you want to study them:

It took me a few times watching it to realize it was Beta who wrote all the words on the walls. We know that because “I am the end of the world” is written in several places. It’s also important to note that he contemplated suicide. Things like “End it all?” followed by “No, not now,” are seen in various places.

Alpha picks up a can of tomatoes (perhaps tomato soup?) in the hallway. I've said before that tomatoes represent the state of the community. I think we see them here because Alpha and Beta are about to form a community together. This is the origin story of the Whisperers.

Something interesting happens. Beta is humming in the background. Alpha hears him and begins to hum as well. Beta doesn't like that. He stocks toward her and says, "Were you singing?" She answers, "I wouldn't call it that." He says, "Don't do it again."

So, while they didn’t say what his back story is (on TTD, Ryan Hurst seemed to suggest the country singer theory could be true) there is definitely a musical theme around him.

In terms of a parallel to Daryl, you could see it as him being uncomfortable with people singing because it reminds him of Beth. I started thinking about Daryl's, "I never," from the moonshine shock. One of the things he said is that he never sang out in public. We haven't really seen a fulfillment of that yet. But just as Alpha and Beta were sort of humming together right here, maybe we'll see Beth and Daryl sing together in some capacity in the future.

She also asks how he ended up at the hospital. He said he got into a tussle with the dead and they ran him out of his camp a few months ago. Again, I think that could be a Daryl parallel. In terms of ending up at the hospital in S5, it happened after walkers overran the prison. This is also when Beta says he likes the sound of the dead and it’s the only song he never wants to end.

Then we’re back to the two sisters rounding up walkers. The one who gave up her baby sees the walker with the baby carrier on it on its front and starts to cry. Something about the way she cried, the way she looked, reminded me of when Beth cried in Inmates.

The more I thought about that, something occurred to me. I’m just gonna throw this possibility out there. I feel like Beth is going to go through an arc where she loses a baby. It may not be hers biologically. After all, with plenty of foreshadowing after taking care of other people's kids. (Such as Judith at the prison.)

This woman who sacrificed her baby at Alpha’s behest has parallels to Beth. In that scene in Inmates, which this reminded me of, Beth actually was crying over the perceived death of a child. She thought the little shoes she saw belong to the kids they’d been tracking. She was actually wrong about that. They were tracking Lizzie and Mika, who were with Carol and Ty. But Beth and Daryl assumed the kids they been tracking were dead and the shoes belonged to them. She was literally crying of the loss of a child.

There was that weird, creepy baby death thing around Denise in 6x14, and we know how big a proxy she was to Beth. We also know Connie lost a child at one point, and she’s being used as a Beth stand-in as well. I'm just saying we have a lot of evidence of this.

Back at the camp, Beta almost kills this woman for endangering them. Alpha shows her mercy, probably because she understands what it's like to abandon a child, because she abandoned Lydia.

Then we see Alpha making a room for Lydia in the hospital. She takes her in a room that's used for psych patients and is therefore padded. Lydia asks about the pillows all over the walls. The sequence was actually very interesting. It got my thoughts spinning.

First of all, Alpha offers Lydia her bunny and Lydia rejects it. Remember the bunny represents those who are weak. Specifically, those too weak to survive and who end up dead. (Lizzie killed the bunnies in the log in 4b, and then later killed Mika.) Lydia rejects the bunny says that she wants to be more like Alpha. That’s a mirror to Beth saying that she wants to change and become stronger. Alpha says she's glad to hear that, because if Lydia doesn't change, Alpha will eventually have to leave her behind.

In other words, a person must be strong enough to defend themselves, or else they get left behind. Definitely feels like a call back to Beth. Now, obviously it didn't go down that way with Beth and Daryl. He didn’t leave her behind because he thought she was weak. But we often like to say that Beth’s weakness died when she was shot and she’ll arise a much stronger person who can take care of herself. If nothing else, this is a reference to someone changing from being weak to being strong as well as being left behind, in the same sentence.

What struck me most about this sequence (along with something strange in the final scene) is the actual sleeping arrangement. It's about finding a bed for Lydia to sleep and feel safe. I know that sounds a little goofy, but it reminded me of something we saw back in S8 that has never been explained. When Daryl tries to escape the Sanctuary, he ran into Dwight's room. He ate peanut butter, changed his shirt, and opened the door into a secret room at the back of Dwight's quarters. No one was in there, but it looked like there was a bed with the pillow. Such a random detail, and it's never been explained. I was reminded of that part because there's an emphasis on pillows covering the walls.

Near the end of the episode, where we see Alpha keeping a shrine to Lydia, along with her bunny, there’s what looks like a gigantic bird’s nest. It’s actually more square than round in shape, but it’s made with twigs and vines like a bird’s nest might be. I think it’s supposed to be a place Alpha created for Lydia to sleep in and be secure. So, I think this is a theme about finding a place for loved ones to sleep where they will feel safe. It's possible the hidden room in Dwight’s place was there for Sherry. I don't know if she ever actually used it, but he might've created in case she ever wanted to hide there.

We can also relate this back directly to Beth and Daryl in the funeral home. Daryl laid down in the coffin saying, "this is the comfiest bed I've had in years." And while he laid in that “bed,” Beth sang to him, about laying in the lawn and being good. So it's about finding a place to lie down and sleep, feeling secure and safe with the people you're with. Because, by nature, everyone is vulnerable when they sleep.

Alpha tells Beta to send the baby’s mother to her in the “deep” place. I had to think about this one for a bit before I understood it’s significance. It's underground (sort of like a cave) and in darkness, so I knew it had to have symbolic significance. It was obvious that everyone thought Alpha would kill the baby’s mother, but, she didn't. She showed her mercy.

I think we could perhaps relate it to Beth going into the darkness and emerging into the light. We saw this theme around her with light and darkness at Grady. She goes into the dark hallway just before being shot.

Emerging into light at the end of the hallway represents her living. So, similarly, the baby’s mother goes into the darkness and faces death by Alpha’s hand. Mercifully, she comes back out again into the light and is given a second chance. Her sister even says, "Alpha showed you her grace?"

At this point, we learn other whispers are also thinking about Hilltop and that it looked like a safe place and maybe they want to return. Alpha is already losing her pack.

We see Alpha and Beta killing walkers together in the hospital. They bond and she gives him the name of first Big Man, then Mr. B, and then just B. He asks what that make her. She says, “A.”

She then proceeds to tell him about becoming the walkers. She says there are two kinds of people left in the world: those brave enough to walk with the dead, and everyone else. She tries to take off his mask, and he freaks out. He tells her leave at sunrise not to come back. Obviously, that doesn't happen.

So, a couple things about this. We’ve seen the A/B theme since S4. It's very obvious that Alpha and Beta are being defined this way in the plot. This isn’t just symbolism anymore. They’re calling themselves and each other A and B. Yes, we also saw that theme with the helicopter people who also used the terms A and B. For me, that suggests that perhaps the Whisperers are tied up with the helicopter people in some way. It also shows that the Whisperers are much more endgame than Negan ever was. Everyone made such a big deal about All Out War, but we’re seeing the fulfillment of Beth-related symbolism that’s been around since S4 much more with this group than we ever did with Negan.

It's also interesting that we don't see Beta’s face. Alpha takes off her skin mask all the time, but we've never seen Beta without his. I wonder why he wants to hide his face. Back when she asked how he got there, and he said that he tussled with the dead. She asked if that's what he wore the mask now. There's an implication there that maybe, just maybe, he has scars on his face.

That would have some really interesting implications of true. Not only would it parallel him to Beth in a big way, but if Beth ever came into contact with Alpha and Beta, I almost think that they would be predisposed to like her, both because she's a survivor and also because of the scars. That might draw them both to her. At this point, Alpha and Lydia have seen Beta's face, but no one else has.

When the Whisperers see the satellite fall, the sister who lost her baby goes nuts and tries to kill Alpha. She dies because her sister betrays her to save Alpha.

Alpha asks her if she regrets what she did. The sister essentially says no. (I don’t know if this will mean anything to you guys, but that was very Charles Manson.) Then Alpha said something super disturbing. "Like a lioness who smothers her own cub, we are strongest when we kill our own blood."

Now, obviously that's the opposite of what TF and most of us (hopefully) believe. It serves yet another antiparallel to Beth and TF in general. They try to save their own people and keep them alive at all costs. They believe that banding together through love and community is what makes them stronger. Alpha obviously believes the opposite.

Then we reach the final sequence of the episode. There’s a lot going on here and I watched it multiple times, trying to catch everything. Lydia covers herself in walker guts. She seemed to want to find a walker and prove to her mom that she could be strong. So her mother wouldn’t leave her behind.

Of course everything goes down where Alpha kills Beta’s friend, and Lydia comes out, saying she was strong. Alpha hugs her and says she did a good job and was very strong.

Then she turns to Beta and says some really interesting things. She says, "You are not broken. You were made for this." Beth said that exact same thing to Daryl in Still. "It's like you were made for how things are now.”

Alpha also says, "Stay with me and you'll never be alone." I don’t think Daryl said exactly that Beth, but I remember that he did say it to Bob. "You're not alone anymore. You never will be again." And Bob was a Beth proxy.

After watching it several times, what strikes me is the parallel to Beth and Daryl. While the actual events are different, Alpha and Beta basically see one another at their most vulnerable. In true states of anger and grief. Alpha over Lydia in the current timeline and Beta over the loss of his friend in the flashback. And that’s exactly what Still was for Beth and Daryl.

Beta then started chanting, "I am the end of the world. I am the end of the world." This is part of the Alpha and Omega theme. Alpha is, um, named Alpha, which means the first or the beginning. Then we have Beta saying he's the end of the world. Omega is another term for the end.

This is super-intriguing to me and I’ll have to think about it more. Maybe revisit the Alpha/Omega theme. Because a the two instances that always jump to mind for me of the Alpha/Omega theme are 1) when Abraham said it to Sasha in the flashback in 7x16. And he said, “Alpha to Omega, Battlefield to Beach.” (paraphrasing there, btw.) Well, they’re about to enter a war with the Whisperers, and they were training on the beach in 10x01, so it all feels very relevant. 2) Via Paula’s group in 6x13. And that episode a gazillion, ridiculously obvious references to Beth and Grady. Just saying.

Alpha says, “We’re the end of the world.” Beta says he can't leave his friend. Alpha says he won’t have to and gives him her knife. It’s then that we learn that the skin mask Beta wears around once belonged to his best friend. Just when you think these people can’t get any more twisted, right?

This is why I loved this episode so much. Creepy? Oh yeah. Twisted? Absolutely. But also fascinating and fantastic. On TTD, YNB said she wasn’t a fan of villains. Yeah, I am. I’m totally obsessed with their psychology. So I totally geeked out about the fabulousness of this episode.

But I digress. We then return to the current timeline, where Beta finds Alpha in her special little grove. As they talk, he comes to realize she didn't actually kill Lydia and Lydia is still alive. This is where we see the giant bird’s nest/bed. So, we have a connection to the bird theme here, with Alpha playing mother bird and wanting to protect her young. She’s created a bed for Lydia to feel safe in.

At one point, Beta says, “she’s GONE, Alpha.” That’s before Alpha admits she lied about killing Lydia. So we have yet another example of something thinking someone is dead, & saying she’s “gone,” when really, she’s alive and well in some other place.

Alpha gets upset about Lydia and starts to cry. (Note that Beta is the only one allowed to see her cry and live.) He reaches his hand out to her and she takes it. He basically calms her down and brings her back to herself.

He tells her that there was smoke on the horizon. Alpha says it might be “the enemy” which means TF, and that they have to teach them a lesson and let the pack watch. That’s how she’ll ensure her pack’s loyalty to her. Not unlike Negan’s old tactics.

It's important to note that she was planning on attacking TF even before she realized they’d crossed the border. It's really not about her looking up and seeing Carol standing there at the end.

Then we see Alpha and Beta intertwine fingers. (Fascinating but creepy romance vibe.)

I said this was their Still/Alone episode. Think about all the things I’ve laid out here. It happened in a hospital. There was a bunch of Beth and Daryl dialogue. The words “still” and “alone” were literally written on the wall! And they forced a deep (albeit twisted) connection. When they were killing the walkers that got into the hospital, Alpha says, "I like kill with you." When she starts gutting the walkers, he says, "you're different," which really ought to be an insult, but you can tell he's drowned her because of that.

So at the end, they intertwine fingers, which always represents romantic love in TTD and say their little mantra.

"We walk in darkness, we are free.

We bathe in blood, we are free.

We love nothing, we are free.

We fear nothing, we are free.

We need no words, we are free.

We embrace all death, we are free.

This is the end of the world. Now is the world. We are the end of the world."

This is twisted and heavy stuff, guys. This satanic little chant also brings me back to the Alpha and Omega theme. Like I said, I feel like Whispers are much more endgame than Negan ever was. Think of it this way. If the helicopter people have been around since the beginning (and they have been), and the Whisperers are tied up with them, then the “beginning” and the “end” makes sense here, right? I’ve even considered that maybe the helicopter people are the ones who caused or released the virus to begin with, whether by accident or on purpose. No idea if that’s true. It’s just something I’ve considered. But TWD is big on story arcs where the end mirrors the beginning, so this is a theme, a motif, and a pattern in the show.

Two more short notes. I’m not sure why Alpha doesn’t realize that making war on TF means coming face to face with Lydia again. She’s lying to her people about killing Lydia, and if they find out she’s lying (and they surely will) that will make them less loyal to her. Might be her undoing.

Also, just a correction. I said yesterday that Beta didn’t cry when his friend died. Upon watching it again, he actually does. I missed it the first time. You can’t see it because of the mask but you can hear him sobbing. Just wanted to correct myself on that.

Again, just a really fabulous and fascinating episode. I’ve watched it like three times and I totally want to watch it again.

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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richonnefics · 5 years

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Richonne Reset #3 (Sacrifice & Negotiation) by SBK

Michonne watches cautiously as Rick slowly maneuvers his body in front of hers. She recognizes that he is trying to protect her and immediately wonders how the two men know each other.

“Shane…..I thought……” Rick trails off as Shane interrupts.

“Yeah I know what you thought but as you can see I’m alive and well.” He scoffs. “No thanks to you.” He drops a huge duffle bag with the initials KCSD to the ground and keeps his gun trained on them.

Michonne’s grip tightens on her weapon as she picks up on the tension in Rick’s shoulders and the ire in the other man’s voice.

“I…..

“I’m gonna need you to listen. I don’t have time for all your fancy words. Where is my daughter?”

Rick drops his head. “Judith is safe. Let’s keep her that way.”

The scrape of a walker’s feet against the asphalt followed by a snarl alerts them they are not alone. Shane motions with his gun for them to enter the building they were in front of.

“We can’t go in there blindly,” Michonne reminds him. She unsheathes her sword amidst protests from Shane and ends the walker at his back with one sure swing. She flicks the darkened blood from her blade and watches both men warily.

“Damn girl you got skills. How’d you end up with this riff raff?” Shane wonders.

“If you don’t mind, we’ll be on our way now,” Michonne responds.

“Uh uh….that ain’t happening. You see Rick here has something I want. Now you appear to be an intelligent woman. I don’t know what kinda connection you two got but it’d be in your best interest to hear me out,” Shane states.

Michonne is going to ensure that she makes it back to the prison, back to her son so she nods her head in agreement. She watches as Shane indicates to Rick to lead the way back to the bar which alerts her to his familiarity of this town as well. She falls in behind her companion while Shane brings up the rear, still holding his rifle on them.

Moments later they are seated at a round table, a shot glass of amber liquid within each person’s reach, the stench of walker bodies stifling the air. Rick and Michonne cleared the place earlier and the adrenaline must have prevented them from noticing the cloud of mustiness that clung mercilessly at the moment.

Shane has his back to the door, facing them with a self-assured grin on his face. He rests the rifle at his side, the butt on the floor and the nuzzle aimed at the ceiling.

“Now let’s get down to business shall we?”

“Shane…..don’t,” Rick requests softly.

“You have absolutely no say in this. I’m gonna talk with your companion here as it’s quite clear to me she took you in,” Shane answers. He gives his attention to Michonne. “I don’t want this to be long and drawn out so I’ll cut right to it. Rick has my daughter and I want her. I been holed up in this shit hole hometown of ours trying to get my wits together after being left for dead by my own best friend. He practically let his wife die in childbirth and….”

Rick flinches with anger, taking in the walkie at Shane’s waist and wondering how truthful his words are concerning his solitude. “What could I do? You couldn’t save her any more than I could but you blame me.”

“You got damn right I blame you. What the hell you come back for? Everything was fine….perfect without you.” Shane lifts his brown eyes to Rick’s blue. “You ruined it all but this time….this time I’m gonna make sure you stay dead.”

“Killing me won’t bring her back,” Rick reminds him.

“No but I sure will feel a helluva lot better,” Shane retorts.

Michonne can’t help wondering exactly what happened between these two and why the other man is claiming to be the father of the baby she thought belonged to Rick. She has most assuredly made the wrong decision in allowing Rick Grimes into their group but she’ll have to deal with that later. Right now, she has to concentrate on how to get out of this bar and away from this clearly insane former friend of Rick’s. “You two can hash it out some other time. Tell me what you want from me so I can get the hell out of here.”

Shane lifts his glass to his lips and downs the liquor. “I like an assertive woman. Turns me the fuck on every time. Well…..what I want is Rick. You leave him here with me and tomorrow I expect to see you with Judith. If not….well Rick will just tell me where you are and I’ll come get her.” He lifts his hand to stop Michonne from speaking. “Uh….no need to respond in the negative. I don’t want to know where you live. All I want is my daughter. You bring her to me and you can wash your hands of this whole mess. How bout it?”

Michonne takes a deep breath and releases it. “Just like that? I give you Rick and Judith and just walk away? Everything’s fine? What about Carl?”

“I’m sure he’s not gonna want to live without his little sister so he can come along,” Shane returns.

“So why should I believe you have these kids’ best interests at heart? What makes Rick so bad?” Michonne asks. She is going to try her best to keep him talking, distract him enough to make her escape a fail proof one.

Shane lifts his hand and scratches his head. “So you don’t think Rick’s bad huh?”

Michonne hides her surprise as this is not what she anticipated from the other man. She thought he’d be more than willing to list all of the bad things about Rick, giving her some much needed information as well. “I don’t know him like you do so how could I be a judge?”

“You’re gonna have to be whether you like it or not. Don’t try and make me out to be the bad one because I slept with his wife and all that shit. I took care of her. I kept her alive when he couldn’t. It ain’t my fault he got himself shot and was laid up in some got damn hospital when things went bad. If it wasn’t for me, Carl and…….”

A split second decision prompts her to kick out, knocking Shane’s rifle to the ground where it skids several inches out of his reach. Rick lifts and slams his gun across the other man’s face, knocking him to the dusty floor before he can reach for another weapon.

Michonne doesn’t look back as she makes a mad dash for the door and keeps running.

Rick clocks Shane across the face several more times, blood splattering everywhere, rendering his former friend unconscious. He puts the nuzzle to his head and motions to squeeze the trigger. He notices Michonne’s absence and immediately decides to go after her. He grabs the rifle and the gun bag and exits the bar.

He comes up short as he sees her battling a small group of walkers but pushes on, holstering his colt and using the butt of the rifle to bash some heads in. No words are spoken between them as they rush back to the car and make a hasty exit.

He drives several miles away before he glances over at her. He could feel her eyes on him the entire time but he just notices the barrel of her hand gun peeping out from under her jacket, pointed in his direction. He faces forward, watching the asphalt as they speed along.

“I can explain…..”

“Oh I think I know what’s going on. Did you kill him?” She asks.

He sighs deeply. “I…..the weight of the guilt was too much before. Maybe him being….him surviving is giving me a second chance.”

“The man wants you dead so you’re willing to risk that and leave your kids without you?”

“They won’t lose me. There has to be another way. Besides, he’ll never find the prison,” Rick provides.

Michonne shakes her head. “You’ve put me in a horrible position. Two days. I’ll give you two days and then you’re gone.” She turns her head away from him to look out of the window, pondering on her decision. “And not a word about this to anyone at the prison.”

Rick remains silent but gives a nod in agreement. His mind is twirling with what he’ll do once they have to leave but he figures he’ll deal with that when it comes.

They return to the prison, welcomed by the laughter of their boys. Carl and Andre were chasing each other in the yard while Beth watched from a short distance away, carrying a red faced Judith.

Rick quickly masks his surprise as he hasn’t heard Carl laugh in weeks now. He watches as the other little boy races toward them and throws himself into Michonne’s arms, calling her mommy. He taps Carl’s hat with affection before stepping to Beth and taking Judith into his arms. “She doing ok?” At Beth’s nod, he continues, “We found formula. Lots of it.”

“That’s great. I’ll go feed her if you want,” Beth offers.

“Thank you but no. I can do it,” Rick answers as he grabs the bag at his feet and makes his way towards Cell Block C with Carl following close behind.

Beth walks over to Michonne. “So what’s the verdict?”

Michonne watches the man in question disappear in the distance. “Well he can handle himself out there. That’s for sure.”

“So does that mean they’re staying?”

“Let’s give it a day or two,” MIchonne suggests before she grabs Andre by the hand and walks away.

#richonnereset #Richonne #Sacrifice & Negotiation #SBK #richonnefics

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jo-the-schmo · 5 years

Text

Red, Dead, Reflections Ch.5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

A/N: DEAR JESUS FINALLY HOLY SHIT this too way too long. I’ve been super busy and getting sick a lot these past few weeks. This chapter is a little lackluster but something is really better than nothing. I hope this is good enough in any case! Have a good read! Love you!

Summary: At the age of 23, you and your pseudo-family perform a heist gone wrong, leading you into a dangerous position. Discover your own history, the story of those around you, and gain new relationships along the way in this (sorta) choose your own adventure.

Warnings: Explicit language, violence, alcohol, possible genitalia mentions, alcohol, not much else I think?

Word count: 6000+

Tags!: @lennysvmmers @zoilalove213 @eccentricc-catt

Choose Your Words Wisely

“When do you think we’ll head into town?” You readjusted the strap of your mask attached to your belt loops.

“Why you askin’ me? I ain’t your keeper.”

“I mean, you sorta are. I don’t have a horse and Dutch said he ‘doesn’t want me getting lost’. I don’t wanna annoy you, but we’ve been here for like, a week, and done absolutely nothing.” He sighed at your comment, somewhat in agreement.

“Uncle was sayin’ somethin’ about headin’ out, but I haven’t seen that bastard in hours.” Arthur complained through slightly gritted teeth as he hefted a bag of feed over his shoulder. “If ya find him and see if he’s ready, I wouldn’t mind goin’, We’re running out of coffee anyway…” You stopped following him.

“Got it, I’ll see where he’s hiding.” You pivoted to the side and walked towards the main camp area. Bill was prodding the fire in boredom. “Hey Bill, do you know where Uncle is at?”

“Prob’ly asleep or drunk, the old loon.” He croaked.

“Well, I figured that much.” That was usually what Uncle seemed to be doing. You weren’t one to judge, but he was a recluse one for sure. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen the Reverend in a few days…where’s he at?

“I know Charles and Javier got tired of waiting for him, so they just went out a few hours ago.”

“Okay, thanks, Bill.” You don’t talk to Bill that much, he just didn’t seem to enjoy your company for some reason, or anyone’s company for that matter. You kept looking around, trying to figure out where he could be. If I was sleeping off a hangover, where would I be?

“James! My boy! Come here for a moment, would ya?” A deep, modulated voice called out from somewhere behind you. You turned and saw Dutch standing in front of his tent. You didn’t respond vocally, you’ve found you don’t need to. As long as you’re visually enacting the request, he took that as answer enough. Dutch was a watchful man. You took a few steps toward him and you noticed Molly wasn’t around. She was usually hanging out in here. Actually, I’ve never seen Molly NOT in here.

“What’s up, Dutch?”

“Come inside, young man. Have a seat.” He placed his palm on the space between your shoulder blades and guided you inside the fabricated enclosure. Dutch had the biggest space of the group, which always bothered you in a weird way. Everyone except him, Arthur, and you slept on the ground. He moved you towards a chair, which you took a seat in out of politeness. You were starting to get nervous. Dutch had never really wanted to speak one on one with you before, much less take this approach to starting a conversation.

“What’s this about?” You tried to keep your voice as neutral as possible. He stayed standing, even pacing slowly across the floor about two feet away from you. The cuffs of his white shirt had a few rust colored stains.

“Nothin’ but a few questions, my friend.” It was subtle, but you could tell he was trying to take on a slightly intimidating presence. It wasn’t malicious or anything like that, which only made you more curious. “I’d like to know what you’re still doin’ here.” That statement took you aback.

“I’m confused, what do you me-“

“Why are you still here?” He cut you off. You took a moment to consider his question, there was a reason he wasn’t letting you get an explanation. The severity and weight of your potential answer only reflected in the sunken depths of his pupils. He looked exhausted.

“Because you’ve allowed me to.”

“Ah, I see…” He stopped all his movements and bent down slightly to get a closer look at you. His hand rested against the back of the chair you were sitting. “I wanna trust you, my boy. You saved my life up on that mountain, I won’t soon forget that. Do you know what my family is about, West?”

“Living.”

“That’s right. Now, what are you about, James?” For a moment, Dutch’s face wasn’t his anymore. His hair was longer, light brown, his face was slim with a messy stubble. It was Austin.

“Why are you here, Y/N?”

“What?”

“You’re safe, you’re all patched up, why haven’t you left me yet?” His eyes looked much kinder back then. So did his smile.

“Because…I don’t want to? You saved me.”

“People save people all the time and don’t follow them across a state.” He took a step closer. “What’s your deal? What do you want?”

“I…” You couldn’t be entirely sure, but you felt it. “I want the world to be better… I want the world to let me survive. I want to live!”

“Good answer.” You could almost audibly pick up the voice shift from Austin to Dutch. It took you a moment to process the fact that you had answered his question. “Sorry I took on that rather rude tone. Had to test ya, ma boy!” He laughed heartily, his earlier façade melting away.

“What was that about?”

“I wanted to see if you were up for a bit of a request.”

“A request?” His smile warmed at your question.

“Well, Hosea and I have been talkin’. You’ve been a mighty fine help around here and, well, we ourselves are headin’ out west in search of land of our own. So, we wanted to ask if you’d stick around with us until you made it back home.” You weren’t sure why the gesture surprised you, in a way you had already been integrated into their lives, they treated you as one of their own. But it still left you stunned. “Hosea says you aren’t sure if you’ll ever see your friends again, but I promise we will do everything in our power to keep you safe until then. What d’ya say, son?”

“It’d be an honor…” Your response was what astonished you the most. You felt it in your gut, a sense of comradery. Dutch patted your left shoulder, signaling for you to stand.

“That’s a good man right there!” He walked you outside the tent. “Just remember one thing, my friend.” He turned you around to give you one last bit of aid. “Do good to us, and we’ll do good to you. You seem like a nice one, but it never hurts to remind.” You instinctively walked away but his words rang in your mind. Do good to us, and we’ll do to you, huh? Charles warning would come into question every once in a while. The only person to know your secrete was Hosea.

If anyone else found out, they might tell Dutch. And if Dutch finds out, then so will Micah. At this point the only reason you still kept your secret was to save your hide. If Micah was really as much of a bastard as you’d been led to believe, if he got his hands on some information of that magnitude, you’d be dead in the next hour. You sighed with your head rolled back toward the sky. How could things keep getting more complicated?

Shockingly, time skipping wasn’t as strange of a concept anymore. You may not have done much research on it, but Gina sure had. She was a big-time nerd. If you really had jumped backwards 120 years, there was nothing you could directly do to change it. But, one thing you did know was that the universe, if having the capability to do this, would eventually find a way to put you back. A trigger was what pulled to get you here, and at some point, the space of time would have to set you back with another trigger. That trigger was certainly your previous death, but there was no telling if this new trigger would be the same. And let’s just say, dying wasn’t exactly an easy risk to take here. All you can do is bide your time and hope it comes soon.

“Found him!” You heard Arthur holler from the side, followed by the grumble of the old man getting to his feet. You guided yourself to the two by the cart, Arthur standing around with his hands on his hips looking like a scolding mother.

“That’s a rather odd place to nap, Uncle.” You pointed out.

“Welp, you know what I say? A man who can sleep on any surface, has the peace of mind to be doin’ so.” He dusted off the back of his pants.

“Interesting…” You supposed he was right, in both senses that could be interpreted. “Are you ready to head to town?” You asked the both of them but only Uncle responded.

“Yep, I gotta head down to the general store to get some supplies. Was you wanting to tag along?” Before you could respond, a familiar feminine voice bubbled behind you.

“Can we come too?” It was Karen with Tilly and Mary-Beth in tow.

“We been cooped up here for far too long! We need some fun!” Mary-Beth said in her almost song-like tone.

“Well, can Miss Grimshaw spare you?” Upon Arthur asking that, they all groaned in disdain.

“Can Miss Grimshaw spare you? Come on, Arthur! Three young, healthy women want you to take ‘em out robbin’ and you’re worried about house chores!” Karen argued while Tilly crossed her arms and shot Arthur her signature annoyed eyebrow raise.

“When you’re right, you’re right, I guess. Everyone hop on.” Arthur and Uncle took the lead and got in the front seat, Arthur at the reins.

“Wait, did you see if Sadie wanted to go? She said she’s been itchin’ to get out for a bit.” You asked while Karen climbed into the back.

“I asked her, but Ol’Pearson was there saying she had too much work to do. We’ll get her next time.” Tilly assured you. A twinge of disappointment flared in your chest, but you reluctantly followed the ladies into the cart and sat next to Karen. Arthur didn’t waste time to get a move on. You saw John being passed by the cart, on guard duty. You hadn’t gotten many chances to talk to him, but it was good to see him on his feet. Apparently, he had gotten attacked by wolves while you were unconscious, which was crazy. The whole camp was out of sight no more than a minute later. They really picked a good spot, huh? The cart makes small clunk and crunch noises when rolling over the dry soil path.

“So…James?” Karen smirked dubiously.

“Yes?” You rested your elbows on your knees, leaning forward. Which you soon realized was a mistake, because now Tilly and Mary-Beth are leaning in close and Karen is hovering just above.

“What’s it like in California?” They all actually seemed interested in what you had to say, making you feel both nervous and comforted.

“Well…It’s hot, most of the time. Uh…we get a lot of fires, and they can’t be dealt with fast enough. Earthquakes, those happen. But there’s beaches! Those can be fun on the right kind of day.”

“What kind of day is that?” Mary-Beth followed.

“Let’s see…” You thought for a moment on how to describe it. “It really just depends, I guess. Some days the beach is good for having some good fun. Messin’ around and all that. But if you go in the evening, it’s a lot less hectic and more serene. People like it for different reasons.” You lost your train of thought for a moment. Miguel liked the beach, particularly in the wake of twilight. The sounds always brought comfort for him, the lull of the sea. You were pretty sure he had mentioned at some point that his dad used to work down by the beach before he died. The sound of something snapping and the curse of a man brought you out of your haze.

Arthur slowed the cart and you noticed another person’s carriage or whatever was sitting still, and a white horse was running off to the other side of the road. You were quick to slide down the long seat and hop out the back. Your boots hit the dirt with a quick thud. Arthur had the cart in a near stop, his eyes following you as you moved yourself around to where the man was. For the brief second that you caught it, there was a conflict behind his eyes.

“Are you gonna help him, Arthur?” Karen verbally jostled. He seemed to chose a side, opting to follow you.

“Do you need any help, sir?” You questioned the older man who was tightening the straps on the horse still attached. He looked frustrated but thankfully relieved that you offered.

“Would you please go get my horse? He ran off over there.” He pointed out toward the base of a hill with some trees where the white horse you noticed before was shifting around frantically. Arthur surveyed the situation.

“Alright, I’ll go to the front, try to get ‘em to calm down. You ease your way over from the side and get his reins, lead ‘em over.” He scratched at his beard, which saw was shorter since you started paying attention. “Got it?”

“Got it.” He moved first, you going diagonally behind him. His steps were slow, methodical. It was always strange to see him act so gentle. Maybe you were just being nosey or over-analyzing him, but Arthur always seemed like he put on a tough guy persona. His demeanor went through shifts that you recognized easily, they were the same for you. The way his posture softened, his voice soothed, his eyes rounding down at the bottom. You’d only caught it a few times, and you wondered if anyone else ever paid enough attention to notice that. You could just be projecting, or acting way too creepy. Either way, it was just something you caught on to.

“Easy…” His voice mulled, accent rolling gently. “Easy there…” The horse was still fidgeting but at least it wasn’t running around anymore. “That’s it…” You inched closer to the animal staring down at Arthur with big, black eyes. The grass squished under your soles but was near silent to everyone else. Until you heard a small snap. You’d stepped on a twig. The attention of both sets of eyes was on you now. The horse shifted to its back hooves, letting out a fearful wail. You threw your hands up and froze.

“Woah there!” You exclaimed, knowing if you did this wrong you could easily get trampled. “Hiya…” You kept your voice delicate, which you weren’t exactly worried about in the moment. The horse breathed heavily and twitched through its snout. You lowered your posture, seeming less offensive. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be scared…” You inched a little closer to test the waters. Though the creature seemed to still be on edge, it appeared to be unphased by your new closeness. You kept going, until you felt the sharp breaths against your cheek. “You’re alright, buddy.” Your fingertips met the smooth fur of the horse’s neck, petting it reassuringly. It accepted your touch, and let Arthur take hold of its reins.

“You uh…” Arthur turns away from you, beginning to walk as you continue to sooth the horse. You were unable to gauge his expression. “You did really good with- with all that.” He let out a fake cough in the middle of that sentence. “You have experience with horses? I’ve seen you ride, not very well but still.”

“Eh, a little. Not very much.”

“Well, you got mighty lucky then, boy.” He remarked.

“Woooooo! Nice job you two!” You heard Tilly call, followed by the assured chants of the other two women. Arthur surrendered the leather straps to the older man.

“Thank ya, good sirs. You’ve done a good deed today.” The old man smiled approvingly.

“I just did it to impress the women, no thanks needed.” Sure, you did, Arthur.

“It was no trouble. Have safe travels, mister.” You waved him off as you changed your direction back to the cart, joining the ladies once more. Everyone waited until you all were out of earshot of the man and back on track to Valentine.

“That was real kind of you boys.” Mary-Beth grinned with a dreamy tone.

“See, Arthur? You got a heart! Unlike this old lizard.” Karen pointed up at Uncle.

“Lizards have hearts!” He remarked with offense.

“Honestly, if you three prob’ly hadn’t been there, I’da prob’ly robbed him.” Arthur corrected. All three of the women rolled their eyes.

“And I didn’t know you were so gentle, James. Not with the stories I’ve heard.” Mary-Beth was clearly trying to lead you in, and in that she had succeeded.

“What stories?”

“Micah talkin’ out of his ass. Normal stuff.” Karen reassured you.

“He’s got a brother out in California, says he’s heard of your little posse.” Tilly explains. “Says you were traded off to the O’Driscolls. Probably with us to try and get your friends back.”

“Pardon my French, but that’s horseshit.” You cut to the chase. It didn’t seem that any of them believed Micah’s lies, but they clearly wanted to hear your input. “Micah doesn’t know a damn thing about me, or my family. It’s literally not possible.” You felt yourself instinctually grip the mask bound to your hip. You took a deep breath through the nose. “I don’t know what his problem is with me. I haven’t done anything to him.” Tilly noticed the tenseness in your hand and appeared to make a mental note of it.

“Micah’s a bit like an infection. Likes to get under your skin and make ya sick.” Mary-Beth spoke knowingly.

“He’s hard to look at too.” Karen chortled. Arthur did his usual half laugh, half grunt.

“I’m surprised none y’all invited Molly with this kind of talk. Only person that hates that bastard more than me is prob’ly her.”

“Oh no, Miss O’Shea is far too high and mighty for the likes of us. She’s a society lady now.” You recognized the tone Karen held as contempt with a hint of mockery. The stench of a barn suddenly hit your nostrils.

“That’s sheep alright!” You cough from the sudden shock.

“You a city boy, James?” Uncle questions.

“Can’t really be much of city boy if I don’t live anywhere, huh?”

“Fair enough.”

The cart rounded the corner, exposing semi-busy streets. Everything was a little dirty, but not in a rundown sort of way. Women were wearing long dresses and skirts, most with their hair covered. And near the same could be said for the men except with pants, not skirts. The cart pulled down the main street and turned into a small clearing between what looked like a big stables and a small building still under construction. You sighed, rubbing your temples. Why does this shit gotta happen to me? The Great Depression has arrived early, I fucking guess. You pushed the knowledge you’d had for a while into the back of your mind and got out of the cart to help the girls down.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the general store and get some things. Arthur, James, you come with me.” Uncle instructed.

“We’re gonna see what trouble we can stir up. There’s bound to be some dumbasses around here. Just imagine we’re in Paris, girls.” Karen lead the women back down the street and you followed behind Arthur. You heard fragments of his conversation with Uncle. Something about Uncle being called the ‘one-shot kid’ back when he was younger and him being Arthur’s third favorite parasite. You were still reeling a bit, so you mostly zoned out. Focusing was always harder when you were having your tenth existential crisis this month. The trip was fairly quick. You only saw Arthur pick up some coffee grounds and a chocolate bar. I didn’t peg him for a sweet-tooth. Uncle got a bottle of something, that’s all you ended up noticing. You opted to just buy some food and had enough money to buy an extra pair of pants. You were tired of wearing the same pants every single day. Even if you were used to it, you happily took the chance to have a spare pair and finally be able to wash the other ones.

After that whole point of your trip was over, you sat beside Arthur on the bench outside, deciding not to drink anymore after tasting how strong the booze really were. At least one of you should be fully sober for this trip. Designated Driver for a real one. One Drink Y/N, they call me. You rested the side of your foot against your knee and leaned back against the wall, getting comfortable.

“Y’know what you outta get? A hat.” Arthur suggested.

“A hat? Why?”

“You look young when yer not wearin’ one. That’s why most people think yer a kid.”

“Really? That’s why? That’s really stupid.” Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe so, but it’s true. We should pick you up one sometime soon.” I’m gonna look like an idiot. Arthur and Uncle shared another swig while you rhythmically tapped at the beak on your mask. The two men continued on with a conversation, mostly consisting of Arthur being annoyed, while you sat in silence. An eerie sensation crawled up the left side of your face. Glancing around, it didn’t take long to notice the cause. A black hat quickly retreating behind a wall. You turned your head to the right, pretending to search for something near the Hotel.

You felt it again.

You were being watched. They were either spying or trying to examine you. You tapped the side of Arthur’s knee with the back of your hand to get his attention.

“Hey Rabid Man, I’m gonna go take a look around. I’ll be right back.”

“Ya sound like you’re tryna ask for permission.” He raised a brow, eyes scrutinizing your face.

“Nah, just lettin’ you know. There’s a black hat I need to check out.” You over enunciated the phrase black hat. “Because it seems to be taking a heavy interest in me.” He seemed to at least partially catch your drift. You stood up with a walking step, longer strides than you’re used to. You saw a staircase on the side of the hotel when you first parked.

Passing by the butcher and cutting around his stand, you took a confident gallop up the stairs. You’re meant to be here, this is like second nature. The wood creaked softly beneath you before rounding the white and blue painted corner. Your sight grazed over the area you saw the hat duck away to. Prepare for trouble and make it double, I guess. You ducked down behind a crate and peeked out the side.

There were two men, one walking over to the other. What are you doing out here? Besides being creepy, I mean. The one who had been watching you was pointing back towards Arthur and Uncle, he seemed to be interested in the little group. He was blond under the hat, the other guy looked grey with a bald spot. You assumed they were discussing the men sitting at the bench by how hush-hush they acted. Not that you’d be able to hear them from this distance, you could just tell by their demeanor. You could smell the suspicion from a mile away.

For a moment you debated what you should do. If they were willing to spy, who’s to say they won’t try and follow your tracks? You and Arthur would get blamed for sure. If they’re O’Driscolls, then that’s only add acid to the rain. You didn’t need any more issues than you already had. They were definitely packing, they might try to start something if you provoke them. How do I go about this? You certainly weren’t gonna take the chance of them following, which meant you’d have to be careful. Intimidate, but be smart about it, make them paranoid, make them nervous to not let it escalate.

With that choice in your mind, you quietly trotted down the steps once more. Once on the ground again you locked eyes with Arthur. You gestured over to the direction of the men and held up the number 2 on your fingers. He nodded in recognition. You pointed to your eyes, then to where the men are, and finally pressing your pointer finger to your lips. Watch. Them. Quietly. You turned and walked away, going around the backside of the hotel.

The blond one was now leaning up against a tree with the almost bald one pacing around. You interlaced the hook of your thumb into the front beltloop of your pants, walking with a bold impression in your step. The nervous one noticed your approach first and kicked the shin of the nonchalant blond to get him to do the same. You decided to take a friendly disposition initially, letting a smile spread across your face. You stopped a few feet in front of them.

“Hiya there, fellas. I don’t suppose I could ask y’all a few questions?” You slipped into the accent you and Javier used in conversation.

“We ain’t got no answers for no Van der Linde meater!” The blond hacked and spit at the ground in your direction. What the hell is a meater? “Now scram like the pigeon-livered fool ya are.” You kept eye-contact with him the entire time, not budging.

“Now, I’m just tryna be civil here, boys. And let me tell ya, my civility is a privilege, not a right.” You took a step forward, now only a little more than a foot away from the agitated blond. “I ain’t gonna ask anymore, I’m tellin’.”

“Go to hell before I send ya there myself.” He drew a small revolver from his holster, the barrel pressed gingerly into your belly. You were unimpressed.

“Wow, you must really be an idiot-“

“What did you just say?” The other butted in.

“I said he’s an idiot. Not only is he dumb enough to try and watch me, but it also seems he’s so stupid that he’s try ‘nd point a weapon at me with the Sheriff’s office just around the corner.” You lowered your voice. “Your escape rides are a lil far to be actin’ like you own the place, aren’t they?” They gave each other a worried glance after hearing you say that. “I just wanna know what gives you the nerve to be spyin’ on someone like me.”

“This here is O’Driscoll territory, boy.” The Friar Tuck looking one verbally spit.

“Well, excuse me, I don’t see your permits of established territory. Now I’m not sure you noticed this or not, but I got eyes everywhere. You see, friend, I’ve got a certain way with words, and got enough skill to get people to do as I ask. Try anything funny and I won’t hesitate.” You push the offending arm that held the gun away, he gave no resistance. “I’ll give you a word of advice, keep you eyes to yourself.” You reached up, plucking the hat off his head by the brim. “And don’t wear hats. You ain’t big enough for ‘em.” You took a few steps back, masking the cautionary nature of them with cockiness. “I’ll see you two around.” You put the black hat on the crown of your head and waved them off.

You could already hear both men huff from frustration as you left. You decided to cut into the alley between the hotel and another building.

“That was quite possibly the best outcome you coulda got.” The sound of his accent surprised you. Arthur was leaning his shoulder against a blue beam but was about a foot taller due to him standing on the hotel’s platform. “I’m actually a little impressed. Never seen an O’Driscoll give up so easily.” He tipped his hat. “Especially not when you’ve so thoroughly disrespected ‘em.”

“Well, you did say I oughta get a hat, yeah?” Your throat was glad to be rid of the way too below your octave voice you’d taken on.

“I did indeed. It ain’t quite right, but it’ll do for now. Except for the fact yer wearin’ it all wrong.” Arthur dropped down to one knee, which was even more surprising than when he spoke up out of nowhere. It was unclear to you if it was just all the contemplating you’d done of him previously or what, but his eyes looked more unguarded than you were used to. Clear and questioning, they were honest. You could feel the ghost of his hand take the top of the hat and move it forward so that the sweatband met the top of your forehead. “Much better.” He made what almost sounded like a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thanks…” Your voice came out softer than you meant for it to.

“Yer welcome. Now, let’s go check on Uncle. That old fool mighta drunk himself to death by now, here’s hopin’.” He stood to his feet and cracked his neck.

“Don’t be so hard on him, Arthur. He used to be the ‘one-shot kid’. Have a little more faith in him.” Your joke made him groan.

“Now you sound like Dutch.” You could practically hear his thoughts go ‘ew’. Together you walked back over to find a passed-out Uncle.

“Huh…Bill told me Javier and Charles are still here, you wanna go find them?”

“Eh, no, let’s just wait for the ladies. They’re usually pretty smart, but you can never be too careful.” You both took a seat on the shop’s wooden steps since Uncle was now sprawled on the bench.

“You’re very protective. You know that?” You asked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It’s not a bad thing either. Just something I’ve noticed. You care a lot.”

“It’s not-“

“You’re not gonna fool me, Arthur Morgan. I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people over the years. I personally think it’s a good thing.”

“Really?” You expected his inflection to allude annoyance, but it was rather sincere.

“Yeah. I’ve been around you guys for a while now and let me tell you, the macho gets old. That’s why I appreciate the calmer and more caring outlook you have. It means you’re reliable.” He went silent after your last comment. This made you think you may have overstepped and made him uncomfortable. You forced out a laugh to try and lighten the mood. “Sorry about that, I talk without thinking sometime-“

“I never thought about it like that before.” What? “You know you’re real strange, West.”

“That’s what I’ve been told.” This time the chuckle at the end was legitimate. “I’m used to it though.”

“Y’know, everyone’s real interested to hear more about you. Ya don’t say much about yourself, and when you do its all vague. You scared of somethin’?” You weren’t sure why his question shocked you initially, they said the same thing earlier.

“I don’t think scared is the right word.”

“Then what is?” There was a newfound dulcet way in his speaking. You pondered that question for a moment. You weren’t trying to get killed just because someone was nice to you.

“You all have been so kind to me, and I’m sure it’s frustrating to not know practically anything about me, but for safety’s sake, until proven otherwise, it’s best that I don’t say.”

“You got someone after you or somethin’? ‘Cause if you do, we really need to know what to look out for.”

“It’s complicated. The less you know the better. Besides, I’m too far gone and far too different for that to matter.”

“You really know how to be cryptic, don’t ya?” He scratched at his beard.

“I’ve been told that as well, yes.”

“In any case, you can trust us. I know they don’t seem like it, but most of them boys, and almost all the ladies, they’re real good listeners.”

“See what I mean? You care an awful lot. It’s actually really impres-“

“Arthur! James!” And elated voice called out. You looked to the right and saw Mary-Beth making small and quick steps toward you. Arthur picked a pebble off the ground and snapped it at Uncle, hitting him in the stomach with a light ‘pap’ sound and efficiently waking him from his alcoholic slumber. He let out a sudden yelp, and Arthur pretended he wasn’t the one who threw a small rock at him.

“By god, what are ya shoutin’ for, old man?”

“Something just hit me!” He squealed.

“Damn birds, amiright?” His words slurred through his accent. You didn’t respond to him.

“Hey Mary-Beth. What have you been up to?” You greeted her with a smile.

“That’s actually what I was comin’ over to tell y’all about! I found this big, fancy house and snuck in, pretendin’ to be a servant girl. It usually works.” She gestured with her hands. “Anyway, I heard some talk about the lady’s sister goin’ on a trip to some getaway vacation. A train full of rich bigwigs cruisin’ along the empty countryside at night to get to Saint Denis! To avoid the tides and all.”

“I don’t know about that, Mary-Beth. Seems a little risky.” Arthur was hesitant.

“Oh, come on, Arthur! There’s bound to be enough money on that train to keep us movin’, yeah?”

“I guess…Say, where’s Tilly and Karen at?”

“Oh uh, Karen picked up some drunk fella to try and rob, took ‘em to the hotel.”

“Why?!” You joined in.

“Seemed easy…She has been gone for a while, though. Oh! There’s Tilly right there!” You followed her line of sight and saw Tilly get pulled into the alleyway you came out of earlier. You couldn’t hear much from where you were, but she was clearly getting yelled at by a man you didn’t recognize. “That don’t look good.”

Help Tilly or Help Karen?

Return here after choice is made

“Yeah, he only punched me. He got it worse, trust me.” She smirked.

“Uncle, can you take the girls back to camp. I think that’s been enough adventure for one day.

“I saw Bill ride in earlier, should we get him too?” Tilly asked.

“I’ll check on him here in a bit.” Everyone agreed to going back and things seemed pretty chill. Then some random guy on a horse slows down next to the group.

“I…I saw you in Blackwater!” What?

“No, no you didn’t. Let’s talk about this here-“

“I’m getting out of here!” What the fuck is going on? His horse made a quick turn in the opposite direction.

“Shit! Uncle, get the girls out of here!” Arthur hopped onto the back of a ginger horse and chased after the mystery man. Someone in the distance yelled,

“Hey! That’s my horse!” but didn’t go after them or anything. You stood in complete bewilderment for a moment.

“What are ya doin’, son? We have to go!” Uncle snapped you back into reality.

“No, you all get out of here. I’m gonna make sure Arthur doesn’t get into any trouble.” You waved them off and jogged off to figure out where they might’ve gone.

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 fanfic #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #bill williamson #tilly jackson #karen jones #mary-beth gaskill

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dinafbrownil · 4 years

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How Families Are Keeping Halloween From Turning Into a COVID Nightmare

DENVER — For Laura Stoutingburg and her family, Halloween has always been a monthlong celebration of corn mazes, pumpkin patches and, of course, trick-or-treating in their suburban Denver neighborhood.

However, the COVID-19 pandemic has forced the mother of two to change their plans.

“Traditional trick-or-treating house to house does not feel like a smart choice to me this year,” Stoutingburg said.

Families across the nation are haunted by the same dilemma: How can they safely keep the pandemic from overshadowing Halloween? Can families trick-or-treat and go to haunted houses, or should they opt for lower-risk activities at home?

Health experts say families should err on the side of caution when it comes to trick-or-treating and other traditional fall activities. Much depends on each family’s comfort with taking risks and ensuring they adhere to safety standards and common sense, they said. Masks should be worn by all, even if not part of a costume.

“My kids love going to the farm … to go pumpkin-picking, apple-picking and all those things we do in the fall,” said Dr. Aaron Milstone, a professor of pediatrics and an associate epidemiologist at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. But, he added, “if you show up at the pumpkin patch and it’s packed with people, that’s not the right time for you to be there.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released Halloween guidelines that warn against high-risk activities like traditional trick-or-treating, haunted houses and costume parties, as well as hay and tractor rides, among other things. The federal agency is also clear on the need for social distancing, mask-wearing and hand-washing to continue.

Many parents are coming up with creative alternatives for Halloween night. For Stoutingburg, 30, that means hosting a small sleepover with relatives that features pumpkin-carving, cupcake-decorating and a scavenger hunt.

Jody Allard and her family also will forgo their usual tricks and treats. Allard, 42, lives in Seattle and has a rare genetic disease putting her at higher risk for COVID-19. The mother of seven said her family will make new traditions this year.

“We’re going to make a bunch of different fun foods from the Halloween shows they like to watch on the Food Network, and we’re going to watch kid-friendly Halloween movies,” Allard said.

In Lancaster, Pennsylvania, 44-year-old writer Jamie Beth Cohen’s daughter came up with the idea that she and her brother dress up in costumes and trick-or-treat inside their own home, with their parents behind the doors of various rooms, waiting with candy.

“She’s excited to wear a costume without a jacket and get lots of the kind of candy she likes,” Cohen said.

Maya Brown-Zimmerman and her family of six never miss out on trick-or-treating in Cleveland. But they will this year, with Brown-Zimmerman, 35, at higher risk for COVID-19 because of multiple lung diseases. Instead, her family will use their costume money on new Halloween decor, and her four kids, ages 3 to 11, will search for candy at home.

“I’ll hide eggs of candy in the front yard for my little kids,” she said. “After they go to bed, the older kids will have a hunt for eggs in the dark in our backyard with flashlights.”

For families still hoping to trick-or-treat this year, though, what can be done to stay as safe as possible?

The Harvard Global Health Institute created a website to help parents assess their risk level for Halloween activities with a color-coded map of county COVID data. It shows which counties are “lower-risk” zones for COVID (green and yellow), where parents might feel more comfortable allowing their children to trick-or-treat, and which are higher-risk areas (orange and red), where online parties and very small gatherings are recommended instead.

Milstone said families should think less in terms of green versus red zones and more in terms of staying safe no matter what, especially considering asymptomatic carriers.

“Rather than people getting a false sense of security that ‘My area is a low-risk area, so I’m just gonna go and do whatever,’ I would say ideally everyone practices the same safe things,” he said.

Dr. Heather Isaacson, a pediatrician with UCHealth in Longmont, Colorado, said masks must be worn by all and has a simple suggestion for the reluctant: “Decorate those masks and incorporate them into the costumes.”

People who hand out candy also should wear masks, added Dr. Alok Patel, a pediatrician and co-host of the “Nova” and PBS Digital Studios show “Parentalogic.” If trick-or-treaters see candy-givers without masks, he suggested wishing them a “Happy Halloween” and passing them by for the next home.

“If people are outside serving candy without a mask, consider the added risk of potential respiratory droplets flying around, including in the candy bowl,” said Patel.

When it comes to handing out candy, it’s a good idea to maintain as much distance as possible.

“Think outside of the box with ideas like a reverse trick-or-treating, where kids stay home and dress up and neighbors do a parade and throw candy,” said Isaacson. She also recommended creating individual goody bags in place of bowls of treats.

“You could go all out and make candy chutes or a giant spider web with candy trapped in it. In some ways, the physically distanced candy-delivery ideas sound more fun,” said Patel.

As for the candy itself, Milstone isn’t as concerned about wrappers as about hand-washing. The primary message is, “Don’t let your kid eat candy with dirty hands,” he said. That means no eating candy until they’re able to get home to wash properly.

While you could technically sanitize wrappers, said Dr. Rita Nasseri, a Los Angeles physician and mother of three, “the safest solution is to buy your own candy and give your children that as a treat.”

As for teens, who may want more independence, Dr. Sam Dominguez, a pediatrician specializing in infectious diseases and medical director of the microbiology lab at Children’s Hospital Colorado, recommended that small groups of friends get together outside and carve pumpkins or watch a projected movie — while wearing masks, of course.

Nasseri advised something similar, adding that food served buffet-style and communal candy should be avoided.

In Boone County, Missouri, currently experiencing a rapid uptick in COVID-19 cases, Karina Koji said her family will stay home on Halloween night. They plan to dress up in costumes and face masks and give out bags of individually wrapped candies. They’ll also leave candy bags in the driveway for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable coming up to the door.

“We shouldn’t let the pandemic take Halloween from us,” said Koji, 45. “We’ve all had to give up so much. It’s entirely possible to celebrate this fun holiday while staying healthy and keeping ourselves and others safe.”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

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This story can be republished for free (details).

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/halloween-safe-trick-or-treating-during-covid-pandemic-family-tips/

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thelostandforgottenangel · 7 years

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Memories

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles AU FanFic

Warnings: Angst / Blood / Gore / ect...

This one’s going to be depressing so read with caution lovelies and enjoy!

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since Raphael had woken from his coma and since then it had been hell on her.

It was so stressful she had taken up refuge in the spare bedroom whenever she needed to let out the growing frustrations, she had wanted to hold him after the traumatizing few months of not knowing if her mate was going to wake up after the accident but she had never imagined this would happen when he did.

Never in a million years did she think they’d be back to this

She had just walked in the door ready to fall into bed after working her ass off to help her friend study for the upcoming exams not expecting to walk in to her phone ringing off the hook and thirty six voicemails.

Part of her wished she had never picked it up while the other part wished she would have just gone out with Raphael that night instead of going to study at the library with Beth.

Raphael had been out with Casey riding their motorcycles playing vigilante when a drunk driver had shot out of nowhere running the intersection and a red light, Casey was helpless to do anything as the vehicle slammed into the turtle taking his bike out throwing Raphael and the bike across the pavement and into the side of a building

He had called the guys for help since the streets were clear of any witnesses but he couldn’t move Raph alone.

The driver was knocked out when they had got there his car totaled; Raphael’s bike was demolished on impact.

She had been crying for over an hour after that phone call from Leonardo telling her they were taking him to the lair, she had been listening to the voicemails one after the other after hanging up from the call most were only a few second long but others tore her apart

Swallowing hard at the frantic voice of Casey pleading the biggest turtle to get up while trying to get someone on the phone, the shaken voice of her older brother begging her to pick up the phone before the line fell silent hearing him say something in Japanese before the call was cut off, Donnie yelling orders to his brothers before asking if she could hear him giving updates on his condition, the most heartbreaking was Mikey sobbing uncontrollably choking out his words

Every fiber in her body was praying that this was a demented dream that at any moment now she would wake from in her bed with Raphael holding tight to her.

It never happened.

She was waiting on April to come get her since they had told her not to leave the apartment but the knock on her door still made her jump running for the door pulling it open to see Casey and April standing there and one look told her there was no waking from this nightmare.

Her exhausted body dropped as a sob broke from her throat when April moved forward hugging the teen to her body trying to keep her from going down but she gave lowering with her to the floor where she practically curled up in the reporters lap feeling Casey rest his hand on her back gently rubbing it in circles.

April was running her hands through Raven’s hair when a tap on her window made the human’s jump Casey ran over to the balcony opening the doors as Leo stepped in motioning for Casey to go close the door before he was stepping aside as Mikey and Donnie dragged Raphael’s body in.

Raven had frozen upon seeing the blood that covered her carpet as April jumped up running over to the couch flipping it out throwing several blankets over the small mattress covering it with thick black trash bags hearing Donnie explaining that they couldn’t get him to the lair in his condition without him getting an infection.

Leonardo grabbed her fast pulling her back when she bolted forward trying to get to his side as they situated him on the bed

A strangled cry erupted from him moments after and she had lost it struggling to get out of her older brothers vice grip as he held tight trying to calm her down, she remembered screaming his name before Donnie had told Leo to let her go.

They watched as she dropped at his side reaching out to comfort him finally seeing the damage first hand as the others rushed to prepare to try to save him. She looked down as the knees of her jeans were quickly soaked through with the blood that pooled around his side, she quickly pulled her shirt off leaving her in her tank top pressing it into his side seeing blood gushing from a large gash shushing him softly telling him he was going to be okay.

His right leg was twisted in a weird angle and his left arm looked to be broken in several places, everywhere she looked there was blood, his healthy emerald green skin was looking slightly grayish, she gasp when she saw the deep cracks in his plastron as Donnie had wiped the blood off his chest looking at the damage in the new lighting of her living room, she had seen his carapace had taken the brunt of the crash since it was cracking in several places where Donnie had already repaired it with duct tape

“Rave-” she had shushed Raphael softly wiping her eyes with her hand smearing blood across her cheek without realizing it trying her best to stop the tears

He reached up pulling her close pressing his lips to hers for a moment “I’m here… I’m right here baby - just hang in there Donnie’s going to fix you” she kept the pressure on his side kissing him back sobbing when she pulled back

“-‘m s-so c…cold-” she had nodded telling him they were getting everything ready before his hand left her face falling at his side going still as soon as it hit the mattress

“R-Raphie... baby-” she reached out pressing her hand to his face looking straight into his eyes as they dulled slowly, she searched over him begging for him to move but when his head dropped to the side and his gold eyes rolled back she looked up at her genius brother who had jumped up to retrieve something he needed

She looked back reaching out before her hand shot back seeing the quick rising and falling of his chest that had told her he was still alive was gone, she turned crying out for Leo who was at her side in seconds looking at her as her mind went into hyper drive pressing her ear to his chest listening intently for the strong beat she loved to listen to when she would lay in his arms before she looked up at her oldest brother

“R-Raph… he’s - Leo he’s not b…breathing. I can’t hear a heartbeat-”

He had leaned down telling her to move as he pressed his fingers to his brother’s neck looking up yelling for Mikey and Donnie making both of them bolt over April and Casey not far behind hearing Raven crying out when he didn’t respond to her before he was calling his brother’s name patting him on the face hard trying to snap him out of it

“Hey… Raph don’t you give up now. Come on little brother don’t give up on us now” the teen had looked up as the older turtle cleared his throat wiping his face trying to hide the tears that were dripping down his cheeks, it had been a few years since he had called Raphael ‘little brother’ so she immediately knew he was really upset before he grabbed his shoulder giving him a rigid shake “You going to let this beat you hothead – are you that weak”

She didn’t know what to do looking on helplessly as Leo’s steel voice cracked shaking him a little softer when the bad tempered turtle didn’t respond “Raphie–” she nuzzled her face against his cradling his head in her arms feeling the connection between the two of them slipping “Stay with me… please stay with me…” something in her chest pulled looking him over before she understood moving closer as her heart told her she needed to help him leaning forward tilting his head back blowing air into his mouth as Leo started doing chest compressions pausing for her to do it again before shoving his brothers unmoving chest giving it three good pumps trying to help resuscitate him.

She had begged him to breathe as they continued to try and bring him back.

Raven went to give him air again before she heard a hiss of air leaving his lungs reaching her hand out fast telling Leo to stop looking up when Raphael took a breath crying out as she relaxed realizing he was back

Casey pulled her away holding tight to her when Donatello checked for a pulse before telling Casey to get him something from her kitchen while Leo had ran for the stuff Don had packed in the van opening Raphael’s eyes checking his pupal dilation looking up at Raven who was watching him waiting for him to tell her anything, she moved back to his side looking him over again easily seeing the teen wanted to touch him before Donnie was placing aa breathing mask over his brothers face to help him breath easier reached down into his bag pulling out a scalpel slicing deep into Raphael’s thick skin before blood gushed out of the wound splattering on the floor.

Raven swallowed the bile taste that bubbled up in her throat willing herself to step back never taking her eyes off Raphael even when Michelangelo said her name stepping towards her as she turned towards the kitchen looking up at Casey and April before her world had went dark around her moments later to the sudden feeling of her falling.

……

Ten hours later Donatello had finished sewing Raphael up and had given him two blood transfusions to get his blood pressure back to a safe level, although he would need more if he was going to make it through tomorrow night

The moment they had started should have revealed just how hard the night was going to be

He had opened his older brother’s side after getting a breathing mask on him finding he had massive internal bleeding looking up when Mikey had moved away at the sight of blood before he heard the youngest turtles voice calling their sister’s name, he had glanced up to see she was ghost white and not breathing as she had started to move before he had seen her reach for the table only to drop fast to the floor

He had wanted to go to her side but it would mean leaving Raphael who he was already working on with Leo’s help so he had ordered Mikey and April to go lay her down in the bedroom and keep her calm if she woke up but an hour later after April and Casey had run for more supplies and equipment from the lair he had looked up to see the teen was standing off to the side where she stayed until he had finished

They hadn’t realized Raven’s stiff body was standing in the middle of the living room watching everything from the point that they had to repair his collapsed lung to resetting both his arm and leg seeing it wasn’t fazing her in the least bit from her trance

Donnie had reached out seeing how pale she was hoping she hadn’t been there when Raphael had started having a seizer and bleeding from his eyes due to a bleeding in his brain which had made him switch gears and have to open his skull to repair a vein that had ruptured in the front his older brothers brain or the three other times his heart had stopped beating

He finally touched her asking if she wanted them to leave Raphael where he was; it had taken a moment but somehow she had managed to get out that they could put him on her bed going back to the room to place fresh sheets on the bed before they moved him bringing in a few thick blankets watching them hook him up to several machines to monitor him but slowly she had walked out moving past Casey who had been cleaning up in the bathroom changing his bloody clothes after getting everything upstairs that the genius turtle had needed via the fire escape.

He had watched as the teenager walked to the kitchen grabbing a few things from the cabinet below her sink before slowly walking into the living room getting down on her hands and knees scrubbing at the dark red splotches staining the floor but as he watched she continued on just one looking at it blankly like she was miles away.

He didn’t move as she scrubbed the blood stain harder the red of the carpet starting to discolor the pale skin on her hands and arms leaving tiny specs over her clothes

Leonardo had stepped next to him about to ask him something before his eyes flew to his little sister when he saw her on the floor looking back at April who started to move towards the teen.

Raven would have never left Raphael’s side but as he looked at her eyes he could see they were wide and dull, her face drawn and white.

She had blood all over her it had dried on her clothes hours ago, and the streaks that were on her cheeks had small clean paths where the tears had washed some of it away.

Raven wasn’t there; her body was on autopilot moving on its own doing the only thing she could do when she was an absolute wreak, clean up the mess.

He had only seen her like this twice in the ten years that she had lived with them and on both occasions she was like that for days.

Once when Raphael had stormed out after a fight with him, in which his brother hadn’t comeback for three days, the next was when his hotheaded had blown up on her over something so small and told her it was over between them even though he had never meant it which lead to the teenager going to her room in shock before wondering out of the lair sometime while they were in the middle of training not saying anything to them

It had taken hours to find her but there was no telling how long she had been gone since Raphael hadn’t gone upstairs to apologize until the next morning to find her gone, he had rushed out of the lair before the others had even heard him say she wasn’t there.

He had searched everywhere in the sewers worried about her before going topside looking for over an hour finding her laying on the ground in the corner of a dark alley alone and crying covered in snow, he had been yelling at her for ten minutes before it hit him she hadn’t moved or tried to say anything and as he got closer he had seen she was in a pair of her sleep pants and a tank top with no shoes in the middle of winter almost freezing to death while he had been tearing into her over making him worry

It wasn’t until he picked her up that he realized just how bad it was, she was comatose and trembling in his grasp not responding to him even as he wrapped his hoodie around her body

Donnie had guessed she was unable to move once she had fallen over passing out once she had become too cold and if he hadn’t found her when he did she probably would have just laid there until she had eventually frozen to death

Raphael had brought her home trying to wake her the entire time he was getting her warmed up staying by her side until she woke up and like always she forgiven him instantly but it took close to two weeks before she said a word to him

April kneeled in front of her as she furiously scrubbed at another blood spot desperate for it to disappear but her eyes didn’t move staring blankly ahead of her tears streaming down her face, she looked back as Leonardo shook his head silently telling the reporter not to touch her.

She backed away as Raven cleaned up the gore in the living room becoming covered in the blood that was splattering on her as she worked her scrub brush harder into the carpet; as soon as the blood was cleaned up from the floor she started on the foldout couch pulling a trash bag out throwing away the rest of the plastic bags that Raphael had been on while Donatello had operated on him, the wrappers from several bandages, and other things that littered her floor as Leonardo watched her look down at the dried blood that covered her hands.

It took a moment for him to see it but her eyes were empty even though she was looking at it straight on

Her normally bright sparkling green eyes were flat and lifeless as she moved flipping the mattress over making up a places for them to rest, throwing huge comforters and pillows down in spots on the floor like little pallets before she was walking back to the bedrooms grabbing Donnie’s hand pulling him out of the chair he was in next to the bed and into the kitchen wetting a washrag before she set to wiping the blood that had splattered across his chest plate during a point when he had to repair a vessel, she looked how he felt right then but as bad as he looked Raven was literally walking around in shock.

She looked dead to him just from how pale and lifeless she was as she gently cleaned him off rewetting the small cloth several times to clean all the blood away

Nobody had slept yet although Michelangelo had passed out for a while in the back room for thirty minutes before he had jumped up to check on their progress, but other than that they had been up all night.

They hadn’t meant for her to see the procedure but somehow she had stood there quietly while he did his best to put Raph back together. She dropped the rag in the sink pulling him again towards the living room mumbling that he should rest

He had wanted to argue with her but she was gone within seconds back into her room that was now sat up like a hospital he could hear her droned out voice before Mikey was walking out of the hall stopping to look back “She told me to go rest and she’ll watch over him… Guys she…” they had stopped him before Leo was walking down the hall stopping in the door watching as April stepped towards him

“She ask that I make all of you rest, I don’t want to leave her alone like that”

“Go - I’ll keep an eye on her just go make sure the others get some sleep”

April stole one last glance into the room before she was down the hall telling the rest of the occupants in the apartment to get some rest before the sun came up, he didn’t hear any complaints from anyone and all too soon he could hear the soft snores of Mikey and Donnie from the living room.

Raven had took the seat next to the bed holding tight to Raphael’s hand watching him with a dead motionless stare, she didn’t move, she just held his hand in hers slowly her voice found its way out in a whisper pleading with the blue banded turtle to get some sleep, he looked over before grabbing a pillow and some thick blankets from her closet making him a place on the floor before he stepped over placing his hands on her shoulders

“He’ll be okay… he’s too much of a stubborn ass to die little sister” she still didn’t move but slowly one of her tiny shaking hands had come to rest on his giving it a light squeeze before he heard her begging him to get some sleep sounding less and less like herself

He didn’t argue moving over to the floor before lying down on his plastron watching Raven as she sat so stiff she reminded him of a statue.

It was far too late to call his father since her clock said it was almost six in the morning; he knew his father might be up but there was the chance he was just getting home from his trip to the mountains and might have just gone to bed, they had all been up since the previous night so he decided he would wait until later before heading home to retrieve their dad so he could come see Raphael probably causing his sensei the massive heart attack that would more than likely make his life a living hell like it was already doing to Raven.

He wasn’t sure how long he had watched her but as the first rays of sunlight hit her face slowly the room grew dark around him until he was fast asleep

What seemed like minutes later he opened his eyes feeling completely rejuvenated before he looked up to find the nightmare hadn’t ended, Raven was still sitting next to the bed her lifeless eyes locked on the rising and falling of her mates huge chest, he saw the dark bags under her bloodshot eyes, she was still there in the same position he had last saw her and by the sounds of the apartment nobody was up yet.

He looked down seeing his body was covered with a thick blanket that hadn’t been there when he had passed out looking over at the clock seeing it showed to be almost seven in the evening

“I changed his saline bag and gave him a sponge bath - also changed his bandages so Donnie could sleep… didn’t want to bother him” her voice was thick and ragged like she couldn’t breathe and it made him look closer at her as he slowly leaned up from his small pallet

She looked drained but more than wide awake, her pale face seemed to have sunken in overnight, and as he finally focused he could see she was still covered in Raphael’s blood wearing the same thing as she had been last night

She hadn’t moved an inch from his side other than to take care of him and cover up the oldest when the room had gotten to cold

He stepped forward seeing Raphael was no longer covered in the rust like stains on his sickly gray skin and had fresh bandages over the majority of his bruised body “Why don’t you go lay down for a bit and I’ll watch him. You need to sleep too”

“No – no he needs me here… I have to stay here”

She didn’t move holding tighter to the cold hand in her grasp “Can we at least clean you up? I’m not sure he’d like to wake up to see you covered in blood” Leo sighed seeing the bowl of murky water next to the bed probably what she had used to clean up the unconscious turtle he slowly moved grabbing it before stepping down the hall towards her kitchen, the living room was dark from the curtains being drawn shut and as he looked closer he could see the occupants were knocked out in close proximity to each other

Casey and April were passed out on the fold out couch next to one another, Donatello was in the recliner closest to the hall where he had probably just dropped with his feet propped up one resting on the end of the mattress so if he was needed he wouldn’t have to disturb the others, and Michelangelo was on the floor his hand holding one of April’s all covered up like he had been meaning Raven had at least got up to care for them before returning to her mate’s side.

He rinsed the bowl out watching as the dark red disappeared down the drain before filling it with warm water grabbing the rag from the counter before going back to the bedroom seeing Raven hadn’t moved at all

“Here let’s get you cleaned up before the others get out of bed” she gave no response not that he had expected her too, he gently reached out jumping at how cold her skin felt under his warm hand as he went to wiping the blood from her skin seeing her glazed over eyes never left Raphael, he had to pry her hand away from his brothers just to wipe the blood off of it before he placed it back next to his seeing her grab his hand immediately holding it tight in her grasp.

He finally was satisfied that he had gotten most of the blood off his little sister looked her over seeing her clothes needed to be changed but she probably wouldn’t do it; he looked around before opening her drawers pulling out a baggy shirt with an anime character on the front and a pair of her loose fitting sleep pants “Raven you want to get out of those clothes… might make you feel better”

He was surprised when she nodded taking the new cloths from his hand before she slowly started undressing, her hands shaking so bad she could barely get her shirt up, he stepped closer grabbing them in his making her eyes drift up for the first time since last night seeing the torment she was going through before he pulled her closer hugging her tight to him as she finally broke sobbing softly as she nuzzled her face against his chest clinging to him in a way she hadn’t done in years.

Raven had held it in for the most part; putting on a brave face even though she was walking around them on her own her mind had shut down long before

He wanted nothing more than to tell her it would be okay, that his little brother would be fine but as he watched her shaking struggling to stop the debilitating sobs that shook her weakened body he realized it would give her no comfort.

He slowly sat her back on the bed before helping her out of her cloths not looking down at her knowing if his brother was going to wake up this was the worst moment quickly dressing her before he pulled her face up looking her over debating whether to even try to make her go lay down but when she scooted off the bed returning to her chair he saw it was a fight he would lose.

She wasn’t going to leave him

“I have to go get dad from the lair - he’s probably worried sick…” she nodded before picking up his phone handing it to him before he leaned down pulling her face around kissing her gently on the cheek seeing the unshed tears welling up in her eyes before he gave her a small smile “I’ll be right back, will you be okay or do you want me to wake Donnie up to come keep you company”

She looked up at him before shaking her head leaning forward resting her head on Raphael’s hand kissing it “Let him sleep… I’ll be fine”

He sighed knowing her words were just to keep him from lecturing her on getting some rest until finally he had to make her lay down before he left the apartment so she wouldn’t fall over just watching as she slumped over on his arm “Hey come here for a second”

Raven slowly stood up as he kneeled down scooping her up into his arms nuzzling his nose into her hair moving around the bed where his brother wasn’t hooked up to many machines placing her body carefully at his side watching as she curled up next to him making sure not to move to much as her older brother covered them both up with the comforter he had woken up under

Even if she wasn’t going to sleep at least he knew she was lying down

He could see she wasn’t okay but left her alone after seeing her take his hand again walking quickly to the living room finding the others were still asleep before he slipped out the window not looking forward to the conversation with Splinter or the moment he had returned with their father to find Raven still laying on the bed awake and in the same position he had left her in

The old rat had moved closer to the bed brushing a paw over the massive turtle’s cheek before reaching out to touch the small girl at his side finding she was further gone then when Leonardo had left her not even responding to her father’s touch as she clung to Raphael’s fading presence

Leo had left the room to check on the others as soon as the old rat had taken the chair Raven was in the entire night to watch over the two placing his hand over the one Raven was holding securely in her grasp finally looking up to meet the eyes of her father breaking down as he leaned forward to rub her arm shushing her gently until she calmed back down and curled back into the side of her mate

He had his ways to make her fall asleep but after a while her eyes closed and her breathing steadied but it was easy to see she wasn’t sleeping by the way she kept squeezing the biggest turtles hand

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Raven had yet to sleep even though the others had tried to make her, and she had refused food but Splinter had made her eat something using the excuse that Raph would have been more than a little upset if she was sick when he woke up and that had been enough to get her to eat a small portion of the food they had brought her.

Master Splinter wasn’t taking it any better than the rest of them but he kept his self together for the sake of his children knowing they needed him to be strong until they were sure his most troublesome son would be okay.

The hours passed turning slowly into days until it turned into weeks, the others could see the teenager was more than happy to lose sleep if it meant she could be at his side but after three weeks they had gone into the room to find her slumped over on the bed, she didn’t sleep long and forced herself to stay awake but when she couldn’t April had took her place after they moved her to the small mattress they had brought for her so she wouldn’t be too far from him sleeping while the reporter sat talking to him softly until Raven was back somewhat rested.

Casey had called her school telling them that one of her family members had been in a bad wreak and that Raven wouldn’t be back for a while using the excuse that she was up state in a hospital and since the accident she hadn’t left the apartment so April did the grocery shopping if Casey wasn’t there and got the teens things if needed.

Those weeks somehow turned into months and slowly she was starting to look hopeless

She had lost weight from the amount of stress she had been under and even she could tell she looked like hell but in the last few months his life had teetered in a shaky balance until they were sure he would pass any day now, his body mass had deteriorated slowly and now his physique was thinner looking closer to bordering on Leo’s frame then what it had been before the accident

Raven kept her spot daily sitting at his side faithfully doing everything for him so Donnie didn’t have as much on his plate laying her head down next to his hand she was clinging to, she didn’t dare sleep since the last time she had dosed off she had woke up thinking he wasn’t breathing and that was enough to scare her shitless

She didn’t bother to try to sleep after that

Donnie and Leo ganged up on her but her diet started resembling the genius’s small portions of food and massive amounts of coffee just to keep her going

Now he knew why his family chewed him out so much as he watched his baby sister deteriorating just as fast as his brother was

… … …

One day she had been laying there holding tight to his hand sobbing silently as she had spoken to him while Donatello had been doing his hourly checkup leaving her alone when he told her there was a few changes but none that were promising

“He’s hanging in there but – Raven we need to be prepared for him to go… I think he’s holding on for you and he will keep that up until his body gives – he won’t last much longer at this rate. You need to tell him whatever you want before he- I’m sorry”

She was breaking knowing what her brother was trying to say even if he couldn’t bring himself to say the words; she had been this strong for him and she wanted to keep going but it was starting to destroy her from the inside out until she wasn’t able to move lying limply on the bed whispering quietly in his ear praying something as small as her voice would help bring him back to them

“Raphie… we’re still here. I–I need you to keep strong for me but… but if you need to go-” Leonardo stepped through the door as she shattered sobbing softly kissing her mates hand before she stood up using what little strength she had left to move pressing her lips to his “I don’t want you to leave me… not now – not after everything we’ve been through” her older brother moved closer wrapping his arms around his little sister, Don had come to the living room and told them that he might not have much time left “But - if you think it’s time to go please remember I love you… I love you so much baby” he had immediately went to comfort Raven only to hear her trying to let him know it was okay if he needed to leave them

She turned looking at him as she laid her head down “I know its hard little sister but he can’t keep this up – he’s… it’s time for him to know he doesn’t have to fight anymore – that we’ll be okay”

She nodded but a pained sob ripped from her throat seconds later as she hugged him tight

“I–I want to go with him… if Raph goes I want to go too…”

He got up slowly realizing what she was saying walking out of the room quickly letting himself crack as soon as he was back with his youngest brothers leaning on the wall letting the tears fall before Mikey had him in a hug, they had heard her confession

If Raphael died now Raven wouldn’t be far behind… they were going to lose both of them

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Raven was desperately crying into the mattress an hour later clinging to his hand hard praying if he went she wouldn’t notice not registering that he was squeezing her hand back until she looked over as he groaned feeling her heart jump into her throat “Raph-” he gave another small groan before his golden eyes slid open looking around the room slowly before the dazed orbs landed on the teen at his side reaching up touching her face before he was giving her a small grin as tears dripped down her cheeks in unstoppable streams “Oh my god – Raphie”

“Hey - kid, I wasn’t that bad off, was I?” she shook her head sobbing wildly before she leaned down hugging his neck careful to not hurt him but was unable to form words between her frantic sobs, she could hear her family behind her, they had to be thinking she had either finally lost hope that he would wake up, was having a mental breakdown after finally cracking, or that Donnie’s prediction had come true and Raphael had finally slipped away after fighting for his life to long.

The room fell silent as she pulled away grinning touching his face a few times to be sure she wasn’t dreaming placing small kisses over his cheek before he pulled her back to him hugging her with his good arm holding tight to the teen breathing in against her hair chuckling when she kissed him again trying hard to hide the tears from him “Sorry if I scared ya kid-”

“I-It’s okay… god its okay just – don’t do that ever again”

The others moved closer but didn’t dare try to hug him except April who clung to him for a moment before he was squeezing her hand kissing it softly looking up at her for a second “Welcome back big guy” he gave her a grin before he tried to adjust on the bed with a low growl looking around the room quickly before his eyes locked on Donnie

“Ya wanna get whatever the hell is shoved down my nose and throat out before I fuckin’ yank it out”

Donnie shook his head smiling bigger than he had in months before he moved forward pulling off the breathing mask and removing the feeding tube asking him a few questions before running a test that they had wanted to do since the accident asking him to move his feet and toes.

Joy swelled in Raven’s heart as he moved both legs after a moment wincing as he shifted the broken one then wiggled his toes before she realized April had tried three different times to let go of Raph’s hand but he kept a firm hold on it as Donnie questioned him about the accident seeing he could remember more than they had thought he would up to the wreak

She was so focused on him she had seen the look as they mentioned taking him back to the lair in a few weeks almost not catching when he looked up at all of them like they were crazy “Why do ya wanna take me to the lair when I can just stay home” she smiled thinking he wanted to stay with her and after Sarah moving out last year she had the room for him

“Raven has been watching over you since the accident Raph I’m sure she’s tired and wants her bed back”

“So that would explain why little sister looks tired. Go get some sleep then kid I’ll just go to April’s”

They had all paused at the words ‘little sister’

Raphael called her many things over the years but that wasn’t one of them, he blatantly refused to call her that her entire life and wanting to stay with April only made the family shake their heads more watching as he dosed off “Raphael - I need to ask you just a few more questions. Who is Raven to you?”

“She’s our baby sister”

“And April? What’s your relationship with her?” Raph’s eyes opened a little looking between his brothers for a moment before he met April’s eyes with a small smirk

“You know that Don… she’s my girlfriend, been with her for five years-” a strange silence fell over the room as Raphael passed out again and this time they didn’t wake him

April’s blue eyes had fell on Raven before the others were looking down at her seeing new tears had sprung to her bloodshot green eyes before she choked out a strangled sob clamping her hand over her mouth trying to say quiet while she was sobbing erratically before she had jumped up from the chair pushing past Casey who looked like he was going to stop her rushing out of the room to keep from waking him hearing Raphael’s tired voice asking what was wrong with her once she was out of the hearing of her family

She dropped in the living room floor unable to move any further before a pair of arms came around her pulling her up holding tight to her as she broke finally letting the weight that she had been carrying since that first night crush her sinking further into the unreasonable pressure she was juggling “H-He don’t remember us… I’m not there anymore” her eyes had shot up seeing the rest of her family crowding her before Leo was asking for an explanation that Donnie couldn’t figure out finally rattling off that he must have lost his memories of being with her and replaced them with April.

Raven couldn’t face him right then but slowly once she calmed down she was able to go back to her room holding his hand while he was asleep.

It was painful and she had put on a strong face but later that night she had gone to take a shower leaving Leo to watch over Raph when April finally had to leave saying she had to get to work; only then did she fall apart curling up in the bottom of the bath tub sobbing silently as the hot water poured over her worn body until it had gotten cold but she still didn’t move knowing this pain right then was better than the pain just outside the bathroom door.

The next day they had brought it up that in his mind what he had with Raven was nonexistent and was now in a relationship with the young reporter.

It killed her to hear that they were going to have to convince him that he didn’t really love April knowing full well how stubborn he could be but she had been the one to point out that in his current condition it would only cause him more harm to do it now seeing Donnie agreed intantly

Knowing the truth now would just send him over the edge… he could slip right back into the coma he had awoken from just hours before

They had agreed with her before she had come up with a plan they were willing to go with that was sure to backfire on them if it went wrong; she suggested they go ahead and play along with his beliefs until he was strong enough to learn the truth from her, or at least until his memories had come back.

That was if they came back at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That had been several weeks ago that her world had crumbled under her feet leaving the teenager feeling broken and in a constant downward spiral

Raven had gotten them to come to an understanding to play along with it as soon as April had agreed to help, but she hadn’t told any of them that it was killing her to see Raphael smile at her friend, holding her hand, even kissing her cheek on rare occasions while he treated her like she meant nothing to him.

Since he had woken from the coma he didn’t smile at her, she could only get close to him when he was sleeping and even then she wouldn’t touch her mate in fear of him waking and growling at her or telling her to get away from him

It was only when he was asleep that she could see her Raphael anymore

Though she was sure she didn’t have to tell any of them with her trance like state and distant behavior. She had made up the spare room like a cell moving a few of her things into it even making her a nice spot to sleep if she ever could.

When the others left and she was finally alone with her thoughts she would then allow her strong barrier to crack and when Raphael needed her help she was there with a small grin hiding the torture she was putting herself through daily.

… … … … … …

She had been cleaning like she did more and more each day to distract herself from the horrid reality that faced her dragging her weakened body through each chore and moment she had to help him taking the verbal abuse that came when she had to clean his last healing wound and when he had found out she was going to give him a sponge bath.

In the past week she had collapsed twice coming to on the floor in the middle of the day surprised nobody had found her like that so she kept it hidden knowing if they knew she would be forced to rest, the last time she had gotten up to check on Raphael going to get him some fresh water when the room went black waking up hours later on the kitchen floor to him calling for her

Luckily he had only been awake for a few minutes and hadn’t heard the glass shatter when it hit the floor with her

It only got worse when Donnie had been trying to help Raph get around the living room, she saw him trip over the crutch and without thinking Raven stepped forward to help him but the minute her hand touched his carapace she caught the back of his fist to the side of her head sending her into the table knocking it over with her as she bounced off the wall leaving the stunned teenager on the floor unable to move or breath in a daze not realizing she was bleeding from a deep cut on her head as her eyes met Raphael’s seeing a look she hadn’t seen in years

Hate… Pure hate directed towards her

She shifted backing away from him as he growled at her cornering herself as she cowered on the ground

She heard her name screamed out when she had hit the ground waving for Donnie to help Raphael instead of her when he had reached out for her watching as her brother lead him to the bedroom before she picked herself up off the floor crawling into the bathroom locking the door climbing into the tub curling into herself before he could come back ten minutes later to check on her only to find she had locked herself in the bathroom begging him not to tell Leo

He hadn’t said anything but she was sure he knew she was crying when she had turned on the shower to muffle any sounds she would make watching as the water rinsed away the blood that dripped into the white tub as she laid there in the freezing water praying her heart would stop so she wouldn’t feel any more pain.

Of course after a while she made herself get up walking down the hall stepping into her room hearing the low growl as she grabbed her clothes from the dresser stopping only long enough for her to push Donnie’s hands away when he tried to look at her when he had seen the blood dripping down her face onto the floor from her soaked hair as she continued to the spare room changing into the baggy clothes she seemed to be wearing more these days falling to the floor letting her body adjust to the floor she had been sleeping on ignoring the red spot that was expanding under her hair feeling the room growing colder as she just laid there until she felt strong enough to get up and continue with her life

The rest of the day Raven was careful around him, hiding her face whenever she had to be close to him not wanting him to see the whole right side of her face was bruised over, her lip was busted from hitting the table, or the black eye that had swollen up instantly by keeping her hair down so it brushed in front of the right side of her swollen face as soon as the bleeding had stopped.

She ignored the snarls that were directed towards her leaving him alone smiling at him breaking her lip open feeling the blood dripping down her chin before stepping out of the room when he told her to get out leaning herself against the living room wall to cry reminding herself once more that he wasn’t the same person she remembered

April had stopped by an hour later to drop off a few things for her to give to him moving closer when she saw the room was in disarray since she hadn’t cleaned up yet before the teen was moving fixing the wreaked area before the young reporter had reached out to touch the teenager but she had jumped stopped her hand before it could touch her looking up at the young reporter in fear; she tried to move away but stopped when Donnie wrapped his arms around her holding her close for a moment nuzzling her neck before telling April he had to run to the lair

She had stepped towards the balcony talking to the turtle as Raven cleaned the living room up looking up when her friend grabbed her arm pulling her around gently moving the crusty strands of hair from her view, it hadn’t taken much for the woman to see the damage that was left in the wake of his fit placing a rag against the discolored flesh carefully checking the laceration that stretched from her forehead to about three inches into her hairline.

She moved the hair back into the way continuing on with what she had been doing seeing the woman lean against the wall covering her mouth as the teen mumbled it had been her fault before a shuffle made her turn around to face the hall, they hadn’t expected for him to try to get up and walk to the living room by himself without Leo or Donnie to help him

“Thought I heard an angel in here” he reached forward brushing the hair away from April’s face smiling lovingly at her in a way she wanted so bad to see directed at her instead of the glare she had gotten when his eyes landed on her while the woman wasn’t looking

Raven had swallowed the sob that fought to burst from her chest forcing a smile as the two women worked to get him back in the bed seeing he was ready to drop, it took a while but they managed to get him back to the bedroom

Raven had mumbled he was a stubborn asshole playfully before she could stop herself getting a growl moments later he had looked up at April with a soft smile brushing a finger over her cheek

“Why can’t you be more like April?”

She had backed off unable to breath as the older woman looked at her in a sad way seeing the teen started cleaning her room up as April scolded him for the comment telling him it was Raven taking care of him the most but the teen didn’t bother turning around to face him as tears welled up in her eyes again clawing at her chest wishing her heart would just explode and kill her now

Fast and painlessly compared to having to live her life like this…

She turned around to grab the dishes on the nightstand keeping her face down feeling the room sway under her as she lifted the pile looking over just as Raphael pulled April down pressing his lips firmly to hers

Raven saw the shock on her face as his lips locked over hers seconds before Leo walked in freezing as the reporter had pulled away from the red masked turtle but seconds later he looked over seeing Raven staring at the two even though her eyes were empty… lifeless.

Just looking through them into the blank space behind them

The room started spinning and she was struggling to stay upright reaching out for something to balance herself with when her body dropped hearing the glass dishes in her hands breaking before Leonardo was at her side holding her upright when she blacked out not breathing at first as she stared up at the ceiling “Raven – oh god what happened to her... DONNIE, GET IN HERE! RAVEN!!”

April’s voice made it through her sub cautious as Donnie started checking her over “Raven wake up!”

When she had opened her eyes the only thing she wanted to know was that it had been a bad dream.

No such luck.

This was all real and now it was worse, she had been so worried about Raphael she had gotten sick becoming so dehydrated that she had passed out the moment her heart rate had increased, upon Leonardo’s orders Donatello had gave her a checkup finding she had a concussion from when Raphael had knocked her down and that she was lucky if her brain wasn’t bleeding or swollen from the impact

“I’m so sorry I didn’t think he’d try anything”

“I–It was only a matter of time… I should have been ready for it”

She couldn’t blame April even if it would have softened the blow that her mate was kissing another woman but they all knew how he showed affection; Raphael was a physical person and to be completely honest she had thought he would have tried it sooner.

… … … … … …

April had made an excuse two days before that she had to go out of town for a few days for work and it was easy to see he was upset she was leaving by the way he had been moping around since she had ‘left’ but they had decided to try to tempt his memories of the teen back although only hours after the others had left to go home leaving the two alone Raphael had lost his temper yelling at her in a way that sent her running for the bathroom heaving up the food the guys had forced her to eat before they had headed out sobbing uncontrollably as her stomach started hurting as she gagged on the air that met her lungs once it was over.

She sat back against the cabinet and broke down trying desperately to keep quiet so he wouldn’t know she was falling apart curling up on the cold bathroom tile sobbing to herself until she was finally able to push herself to get up rinsing her mouth of the bile taste the was there splashing her face before she looked up in the mirror pushing her hair aside looking at herself for the first time in the mirror.

She looked like hell, her face was sunken in from the amount of stress she had been under, and half of it was black and blue with the accents of purple with the edges of it turning a greenish yellow but the swelling was almost gone completely, Don tried to put stitches in the gash on her forehead but she had opted for the butterfly bandages instead.

She took a deep breath fixing her hair so the part of her face would be covered from him moments later she heard the lamp she had just put in his room crash to the floor which sent her running back to him thinking he had fell out of bed only to find him sitting on the edge of her mattress looking at photos she kept in her nightstand drawers looking at them for a moment seeming confused at how close they were in some of them.

She slowly got to his side seeing him glance up as she took them from his hands clutching them tightly as her hands shook struggling not to drop any of them looking at the first one shifting through them as she walked away putting them in a drawer of the dresser feeling like they were just something from a dream the was fading away before turning to find him standing behind her leaning on a rigged crutch

She jumped back as he reached for her bumping into the side of the wooden cabinet behind her grabbing it waiting for him to strike her “I-I’m sorry… whatever I did I’m sorry-” she flinched when instead of him punching her his hand gently touch her arm making her look over before meeting his sad eyes

He pulled her to him holding tight to her in a loose one arm hug and out of fear of him getting hurt she hadn’t pulled away going still after leaning into the hug before his fingers brushed her tears away from her visible cheek “Sorry - I didn’t mean to go off on ya kid”

“It–It’s okay Raph. Trust me you ain’t the first to bite my head off lately” he nodded and she had guessed the guys had told him about how sick she had become, they had been furious with her but they hadn’t took it overly personal since they couldn’t really hold her being upset over the current situation.

They had probably asked him to take it easy on her but the smallest things seemed to set him off tonight “I just have a lot on my mind… things that I’m seeing but can remember, it’s just getting to me I guess”

She had helped him to the bed before lifting his almost healed leg up placing it on the pillow carefully before making sure he was completely comfortable

“Rave - those use to be hanging on yer wall why did ya take ‘em down?”

She glanced up as she adjusted his hurt leg seeing it was bothering him realizing he was really asking her before glancing around the room seeing how empty she had made it so that their misconception on him wouldn’t be ruined by her memories “I was planning to move my room around but then you got hurt and I just wanted you to feel at home until your better” she had hid the shaking in her voice before she had turned heading back to the bathroom grabbing the huge metal bowl and a washrag off the cabinet grabbing his body wash she had kept there for him before she entered the bedroom seeing the look that came over his face

“I don’t need ya to bathe me kid”

“I–I know, but April… asked me to take care of you and - if I don’t at least give you a sponge bath tonight them Leo has to help you into my tub tomorrow” Raven forced a smile seeing she had him over a barrel “I didn’t think you would take that too well if he had to clean you – I figured an ugly house nurse was better than a pain in the ass older brother” he growled then nodded before he leaned up struggling to sit up on the bed until she was there wrapping his arm around her slowly leaning him up

“Fine - but if ya tell the guys I’ll pummel you into next week”

He smiled as she gave a light giggle setting the bowl down on the table off to the side of the bed wetting the rag in the warm water before she set to washing him down seeing the flush go across his cheeks as her hands traveled gently across his skin scrubbed him down being careful not to bump his leg

“I-I never got to tell ya but thanks for keeping an eye on me kid. Donnie told me ya never left my side… and all I’ve done since I woke up is been yelling at ya over the smallest things”

“Don’t worry Raphie, your hurt - that’s how you have always been. I know you don’t like the attention but I like taking care of you, it’s more fun than taking care of the others”

He laughed at the teen as she rinsed the soap off him drying him off before moving to his legs carefully unwrapping his broken one, even though it had healed up nicely it still wasn’t strong enough to hold his full weight “Ya need to get yerself a boyfriend kid. Any man would be lucky to have somebody like ya” her throat closed up and she found she was struggling to keep a straight face swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat before taking a deep collective breath

By the look on his face he had seen the hesitation in her stiff form

“I did have a boyfriend… but I-I let him go because I needed to be here with you - and the guys needed me here to keep the tension down. Besides he was kind of a jerk anyways, and hot tempered, stubborn, oh and let’s not forget jealous of everyone that was around me or the fact that I would never tell him who I was spending all my time with - I just want him to be happy, even if it isn’t with me”

“Huh he sounds a lot like me”

Raven didn’t dare look up as she carefully dried his legs wrapping the healing one once more as soon as the brace was back on it with almost a gentle tug here and there to tighten it enough that the bone was supported if he tried to get up “More then you will ever know” his hands tightened into fist clutching the side of the bed as she focusing on his plastron scrubbing at the hard plates removing the dirt that was clinging to the deep grooves

“Why would ya give up a chance at being happy for me” their eyes locked before she tore her gaze away going back to scrubbing his chest plates slowly moving lower as he stiffened when her hands grazed over his thigh gently rubbing the rag over his waist steering clear of his privates knowing he would defiantly hit her for touching him there

“Because, the world doesn’t ever want me to be happy; I guess – I let him go so someday, just maybe he’ll wake up and come back to me” he watched as she stopped scrubbing over his stomach wiping the soap away with the washrag, rinsing him off realizing he was watching her carefully “But to be honest as long as he’s happy – I’ll be happy” he grabbed both of her tiny hands making those impossibly green gems look up seeing the shock overtake his face at the first glance of the fresh bruises on her face pulling her up brushing the hair away from her face looking over the discoloration she was hiding before she pushed his hand away hiding it once more with a nervous smile

“Kid-” her eyes didn’t meet his as she turned away from him moving back far enough he couldn’t reach out to grab her

“It’s nothing Raph. Here let me get your shell - just let me know if I hurt you. I know it’s still tender otherwise you wouldn’t be in such a bad mood this week” she moved away going into the small bathroom off the bedroom dumping the dirty water down the drain before filling the bowl back up with fresh warm water making sure it wasn’t too hot as she returned to his side looking over his face seeing that he hadn’t removed his mask and it needed to be washed badly before she reached up to pull it off stopping when he pulled away from her hands

“Don’t”

She searched his face moving closer reaching forward slowly cupping his face in her hands feeling him relax at the soft touch she would use when he was in a bad mood “It’s okay Raphie” she paused before pushing his mask up until she could see his face completely smiling now that the bruise had finally healed, he looked over at the mask watching as she turned sitting it aside on the nightstand before they were looking over her face again seeing how at ease she was around him “Don’t worry I’ll get it washed for you – but for right now let’s get you cleaned up” cupping his cheek gently again seeing something in his eyes as she got closer “Here hold still for a moment”

He lean into her grasp as she wiped his face off smiling when his golden eyes floated shut as she massaged her fingers over his face hearing a soft groan from the back of his throat as the rag floated over his skin taking this calm moment for what it was as she moved slowly enjoying the closeness that was bound to end soon as she washed lower over his neck hearing him groan at her gentle touch

“There that’s better. Now I can get your shell” she saw something in his eyes as she pulled away from him checking over his shell seeing that the cracks were still very deep but seemed to be healing slowly pulling the last bits of duct tape from his broken parts of his shell knowing it could take a year before the worst would be healed enough for him to be able to go out again without worrying of it being his weak spot

She could feel he was tensing but he didn’t seem to be in pain so she slowed her movements just to be sure hearing a soft groan as she worked the rag in small circles across his carapace grinning when she finally realized he was enjoying what she was doing “Can you feel that… if I’m hurting you Raph you can tell me-?”

“No – I can feel it but it doesn’t hurt… Actually it feels pretty good compared ta a little while ago. Been killing me for the last few days”

“Sorry I touched it - didn’t I?”

He nodded mumbling so softly she almost didn’t hear him “That’s no excuse fer hitting ya”

“I still shouldn’t have touched you” he didn’t say anything not wanting this moment to end to soon she tenderly scrubbed at his carapace until she was sure it was clean, making sure to be gentle as she started to dry it off working the towel in slow circles

Raven looked up to see he had been watching her carefully from over his shoulder and for a second she could have almost sworn she had seen her Raphael, a small smile pulled at her lips as she leaned closer pressing her lips to the center of his carapace like she had done whenever he was in a bad temperament planting light kisses over the kanji symbol feeling him jerk slightly before she was drying the cleaned shell again pulling out a roll of silver tape placing a few strips over the largest and most sever of the cracks

“There we go now don’t you feel slightly better?” a small grin crossed his face as he nodded before he winced cracking his neck making her reach out jumping slightly as he looked up at her before moving carefully towards him rubbing his neck feeling the knots that had formed in his shoulders “Just take it easy… here let me help” she moved closer as soon as he nodded giving her permission climbing on the bed straddling his unhurt leg leaning into him as her hands gingerly worked out the twisted muscles under her fingers not looking up at him when his eyes fell on her before he leaned forward resting his head on her chest groaning as she hit the spot giving him problems

She held her breath as he took a deep breath pressing his nose into her neck inhaling her scent as she slowed her movements making sure she wasn’t hurting him before he was trying to stand up making her shift finding a gentle touch on his shoulder stopped his advance moving away from him heading to the door “What do you need I’ll go get it - Leo told me to make sure you rested tonight since tomorrow Donnie’s going to be pushing you to try something other than walking down the hall”

“I just remembered something… The night of the accident - I was supposed to come over and hang with ya since ya were too busy to go home to the lair”

Raven’s eyes flew up meeting his before he pushed himself up almost falling down if she hadn’t shot forward letting him balance on her placing a gentle hand on his plastron seeing his golden eyes flicked down to where her hand was resting “We were going to watch a movie together” she slowly nodded seeing that he remembered something else but was debating on saying it

“Yeah - we were going to watch the Blade trilogy… since I had never seen it”

“Then c’mon kid now as good a time as any. I can rest and we can spend time together, plus I really want to get up and out of here for a bit. The rooms great but I’m starting to feel cooped up”

Raven though about it for a moment before deciding that the pain was well worth getting to be near him for an hour or two “If you want we can just watch the first one then I’ll make you something healthy for dinner” her heart pounded painfully in her chest when he flashed her that crooked grin she had missed so much at her, she moved to his right letting him put some of his weight on her while he messed with the crutch she had fixed just for him making sure it could support him if he got off balance by taping three together on their tallest height

“Sounds like a plan to me kid”

Raven stayed at his side as he walked clumsily down the hall having to stop a few times to rest but she didn’t dare try to help him waiting for him to ask for it but he pushed off the wall making it to the couch by himself sitting down cringing as he tried to get comfortable on the folded out mattress while she propped his leg up

She was quick to retrieve a few pillows cushioning the back of the couch slightly around his shell seeing him relax once he was comfortable “How’s that Raphie? Do I need to fix them better?” his eyes came up as she messed with the pillow at his side checking him over before he reached out taking her hand making her stop as he shot her a small grin

“No – that’s perfect thanks”

She nodded moving back from him heading to the kitchen looking back seeing he was looking like something was wrong before she quickly shot him a smirk “So how about some Chex mix”

“A beer sounds great right now” she rolled her eyes stepping to the fridge grabbing one of the Crush soda’s Mikey had left there taking it back to him opening it before placing it in his hand

“Soda it is. Casey helped himself to what I had left while you were still out and Donnie wouldn’t let me buy anymore because you aren’t allowed to drink” he gave an over exaggerated sigh that sent her into a laughing fit as she made her way back to the kitchen to get the snacks ready before looking at the fridge seeing a coupon for a buy any one pizza get one peperoni pizza free

She peaked out at him seeing her was still on the couch but had leaned forward grabbing up the small photo album she kept on the table now that nobody but her family came into the apartment since Sarah had moved out seeing he was looking threw it stopping suddenly on a picture she knew she had put towards the center of the book

A photo of the two of them together, her smiling so happily while he had his arms wrapped around her smiling one of those rare smiles she only saw every now and then holding her so tightly

She watched as he flipped the page moving past it before getting an idea raced into the back bedroom ordering a deep dish meat lover with extra bacon like Raphael liked before going back to the kitchen seeing him look up from the photo album at her as she passed him to get everything together grabbing the stuff and setting up the coffee table next to Raph placing down a pair of shot glasses with a small smile as he eyed it watching her grab the whiskey pouring a shot for both of them throwing hers back quickly before going to hide the half full bottle of liquor again

“What happened to no drinking kid?”

“We’re Donnie and Leo free for the night, so we’re gonna have some fun like old times before I lost you. But I’m still going to say no to you getting anymore, don’t want you over doing it but one shot should be enough for you to relax” he chuckled tossing the shot back as she pulled the largest comforter out of her room throwing it over him

She had just finished putting the movie in when there was a knock on the door, she stepped out the door paying for the order and handing over the coupon before she slipped back in seeing him perk up at the smell off real food instead of the healthy crap Donnie had been feeding him for the last month

“Ya suck! Ya get pizza and I have to eat that shit Donnie made for me” she grabbed two plates setting up the extra space in front of her with a grin as she made him a plate

“What? This is perfectly healthy - for tonight”

“Pretty sure that ain’t healthy Rave” she looked down at it for a second opening up the biggest box pulling out a good size slice with a grin seeing him roll his eyes when he saw it was his favorite knowing he was starving

“Danm just when I thought Donnie was gone for the night. Sure it is – look tomatoes are vegetables and it has four of your basic food groups from what April tells me, but if you don’t want to disobey Leo…” he playfully punched her in the arm taking the plate from her as she started the movie getting under the comforter snuggling up on her own pillow as he leaned over placing a kiss on her cheek

“You really are amazing babe”

Her body tensed but she didn’t say anything stuffing a slice in her mouth to keep from asking him what he had said smiling as she tried to pull the strings of cheese free hearing his laughter for the first time in what felt like years.

She leaned back watching as blood splattered everywhere when Blade took out some guy on screen before one of the vampires exploded into flames feeling his arm sliding around her shoulders making her lean into his grip nuzzling against his side instinctively without thinking feeling him jump beside her hissing in pain “S-sorry Raphie”

Raven went to move away fast but he held her tighter pulling her closer to him whispering he was okay his firm grasp on her not loosening until she relaxed leaning back into him trying to cherish the feeling of being held by him careful not to move again until the credits were rolling and he shifted to stretch

“Wanna watch the next one kid” she shrugged going to get up from the couch before finding him holding tight to her hand looking over her carefully before pulling her towards him, she lost her balance falling on top of him hearing him groan in pain as her lips crushed over his making her reel away “Raph what are you doing?” she tried to pull away to check on him but suddenly found his hands cupping her face

“It’s okay Rave… barely felt it”

“Liar…”

He gave her a small smile gently pulling her closer pressing his lips to hers once more slowly deepening the kiss pushing her lips open with his tongue, she melted against him wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him back hard pulling him to her keeping him pressed against her body as his hands moved lower cupping her ass.

Raven heard the rumble at the back of his throat before he nipped at her bottom lip pulling a small groan from her, he was on her neck before she knew what had happened gasping each time his hips shifted grinding against her as his arm wrapped firmly around her waist keeping her pressed against him “R-Raph…” his mouth was back over hers stopping her from saying anything else as his tongue brushed over hers

She pulled away from him when he leaned back for air looking up at her as reality hit her like a shotgun blast scrambling back falling off the edge of the fold out mattress hitting her head on the entertainment center feeling everything in her chest rip apart as she broke down sobbing loudly into her hand that she had pressed to her mouth looking up at him seeing he looked hurt that she had pulled away from him but underlining that was the pain he felt hearing her crying so frantically “I–I’m sorry Raphie… I can’t - do this to April”

“What? What the hell are ya talking about kid?”

The teen curled into herself trying desperately to remember he wasn’t her Raphael wondering why it hurt her so much to pull away from him, why she was having trouble breathing as she started to walk away from him trying to wipe the tears away starting to feel dizzy “A–April’s your mate I can’t hurt her like this”

He leaned up trying to move to go after her “Kid wait-” she turned hearing something pop as he sat back grabbing his side groaning in a way that made her jump rushing back to his side checking him over as he grabbed her arm holding tight to her, brushed the hair away from her face as she tried to see if he had hurt himself

“Raph-?”

“So what yer telling me is it’s perfectly okay for you to continue to hurt yourself trying to keep up with a lie to protect me… just so I don’t slip back into a coma” she looked up as he gave her a small grin wiping the tears off her cheek gently cupping her face in his hands “April ain’t my mate kid, if she was she would be here next to me like ya have been not hiding at her place while I think she’s out of town for work – she uses that on Mikey when she needs a few days to herself”

“Y-You’re lying…” he leaned forward locking his lips with hers pulling her down to him until she was sitting on the mattress next to him, he finally pulled away seeing more tears as she searched his face making his eyes burn as he saw how helpless she looked trying once more to get out of his grasp

“I remember – everything”

The turtle watched as for that split second she looked hopeful like she was finally understanding before everything that showed him the happy teen he loved disappeared completely making him realize he may have already lost her

She started to pull away not wanting to believe it but he pulled her closer wrapping his arm around her waist “I was on my way here that night… ya were so busy with studying that I went riding with Casey just to kill time – I got hit by the truck and the guys brought me here where ya were at my side trying to keep me calm, right where my mate was the entire time while I got better… and then for me to wake up and not remember ya – it must have killed ya”

She sobbed into his chest shaking her head wanting so bad just to wake up “I dreaming – this is just a dream, it’s not real”

He pulled her head up kissing her cheeks nuzzling his face against hers “Baby, don’t cry – please don’t cry ya know I can’t stand to see ya crying… ‘m sorry I put ya through this - ya know once I get better ‘m gonna take ya to that Chinese food place ya love then we’ll go downtown to the secret spot and we can watch-” the teen leaned forward kissing him so hard and fast it caught him by surprise until he pulled her back into his lap holding onto her tightly

She kissed him with everything she had opening her mouth to his letting his tongue in groaning as he nipped at her bottom lip until she was pulling away from him again but this time she didn’t move as far away panting for air as he pressed his face to hers “You’re really back…”

“Yeah kid, an I ain’t going anywhere ever again”

She leaned in catching his lips once more hearing him groan as she held tight to him feeling his hands fly around her waist keeping her pressed against his chest as he shifted leaning back so she was straddling his hips “Your my Raphie – I’m not about to wake up again to you hating me…”

“Rave its me baby… it’s really me” he pulled her back kissing the teen gently as she pressed against him fully feeling her hands drifting over him so carefully so she wouldn’t hurt him “I love ya… God danm I love ya kid” she smiled into the kiss hearing the words she had longed to hear

“I love you too” he chuckled as she pulled him closer wrapping his arms around her as she hugged him tightly crying softly into his neck as he clung to her “Please – don’t ever leave me again”

“I wouldn’t dream of it” she gently pulled back looking him over carefully before shifting her hips back gently kissing his face down to his neck making him groan before she was moving back out of his lap turning off the lights putting the food away leaving the kitchen vent hood on climbing in next to him

He pulled her closer as she kissed down his jaw clinging to him before he started to nod off cradling the teen to his chest until she knocked out with him

…

They had been sleeping peacefully when the window slid open stirring the young woman making her look up groggily as Leonardo slipped in followed by Donnie heading straight to the bedroom as she laid in his arms not bothering to move in fear of waking him looking up when they ran back into the room looking over as she lifted her hand to let them know they were still in the apartment

She slowly turned over as Leo kneeled down looking her over before Raphael was pulling her back to him burying his nose into her neck as she shot the oldest turtle a small grin signing with one hand making her smile

Told you it would all work out

Donnie moved closer seeing the way his brother was holding her before nodding pointing towards the back room asking permission to get some more rest as he headed to her room

Leo moved to the chair across from her as she pulled the blanket up over the both of them

She didn’t say anything before he was leaned back dosing off as she watched over them reaching her hand out gently brushing her hand over his ankle seeing a smile before she closed her eyes

She didn’t need much in her life as long as she had her family… had Raphael right there at her side and if there ever came a day they weren’t there with her at least she would still have her memories

These moments were what she wanted to keep alive after all

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