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zukosdualdao · 9 days

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give your all to me / i'll give my all to you

zutara month, day 10: secret, @zutaramonth

summary: the night before they're set to leave to face ozai, katara can't sleep. neither can zuko. "tell me a secret," she asks of him.

warnings: references to ozai's abuse of zuko, kya's murder and katara's discovery, and ursa's disappearance.

other notes: title is a lyric from all of me by john legend. yes this is the second fic i've written about zutara the night before they're supposed to leave for the final battle. no i will not change <3

Though there are several rooms in the Ember Island house, on the first day everyone was here, they’d dragged all the blankets and pillows from them and instead set up in the open room at the front of the house, and that’s how they usually all fall asleep, near to each other—a holdover from Katara and Sokka’s days growing up in the Southern Water Tribe.

Aang is somewhere else, though. She doesn’t know what he’s doing, what he’s thinking.

She doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow.

Toph is snoring lightly, on her back and feet planted firmly on the ground, but Katara’s gotten used to that. That's not why she can't sleep. Sokka sometimes snores, too, but tonight, she can hear his easy, even breathing. Suki is silent in a way she wouldn’t be if she was awake, and Katara knows she’s pulled Sokka up to her side as she always does in sleep.

Zuko is awake. She doesn’t have to look at him or hear anything to know that.

“Tell me a secret,” she says quietly to the ceiling and to him.

“Like what?” Zuko asks, matching her volume, not bothering to pretend he doesn’t know who she’s asking. Even in the darkness, they have come to understand each other.

“I don’t know. Anything.”

It takes a long moment, but then Zuko says, “Okay.” Another pause, and then: “I use my bending to get the temperature right for the tea. Sometimes.” He says it almost a little guiltily.

Katara snorts and then looks over to make sure she hasn’t woken the others. Toph shifts in her sleep but otherwise only snores again. When she turns, resting her chin on her hand, Zuko is already staring back at her in a mirror image. His amber eyes are two bright points in the dark.

“That is not a secret. You’re not as stealthy as you think.”

“Oh.” She can just make out the way his frown shifts into a slight smile.

“Try again,” Katara says again. “Something I don’t know. Something real.”

He takes a moment to think it over. “The day of the eclipse,” he says finally.

“Yes?”

“My father… he said something.”

“Was this before or after he shot you with lightning?” she asks. It’s rude, abrasive, but—she can’t help it. He’d said that almost casually today while training Aang, and for a moment, that uneasy anger she’d felt when he first came to them resurfaced. Only now, it was for him as well.

How could he ever choose to go back to that? she’d thought. To someone who would do that to him?

“Before,” Zuko says, matter-of-fact, not seeming bothered by her intrusive question. Katara blinks, brought back to the moment. “He said… he implied… I don’t know. He said she might be alive. My mother. I don’t know if it’s true, or if he just…”

Katara’s heart stutters. Knowing something like that was awful. Knowing that no matter how she wished for it, her mother would never return this earth was an awful burden to bear. Remembering what it felt like to run with everything she had, only to find…

But not knowing? Being made to wonder? There’s a different kind of cruelty to that.

“If we win,” Katara starts, then pauses, shaking her head. “When we win—you should look for her. And I'll be there with you,” she promises.

There’s a long, silent moment in the aftermath of that.

“You will?” Zuko asks, sounding sort of choked. Katara smiles softly at him.

“Yeah,” she insists. “You helped me. Remember?”

The journey to find Yon Rha… it hadn’t been easy, or particularly pleasant. But it was what she needed. And Zuko helped her get there. Told her what she needed to know. Guarded her. Respected her choice to walk away without a word one way or the other, no approval and no dissent.

Zuko stares at her for a moment, discerning. “You don’t owe me anything, you know. It—it wasn’t about that.”

“I know. But I still want to help you.”

“...Okay,” he replies in a soft voice. Then: “Now it’s your turn.”

“Hm?” Katara asks, her eyes starting to feel heavy with sleep.

“To tell me a secret.”

Katara winks an eye open again. Mulling it over, she leans just a touch closer and reaches over to smooth his wild hair out of his eyes and touch a gentle hand against his face, against his scar.

Zuko leans into her hand.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

#zutaramonth2024 #zutara month #zutaramonth #zutara #zuko x katara #give your all to me / i'll give my all to you #my fic #the intimate hand sweeping hair out of someone's eyes gestures my beloved <3 #day 10: secret.#trigger: abuse.#trigger: murder.#ask to tag //

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yourchemicallyimbalancedromance · 7 months

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Discoveries

Prompt: “We can work this out, okay? Just come back here, it’s not safe there. You know that too.” (Credit to @me-writes-prompts for this prompt!!)

Ship: romantic Prinxiety

CW/TW: slight self harm, panic attacks, swearing, unsympathetic Virgil, unsympathetic Janus

Summary: Finally deciding to leave the “Dark Sides” Virgil leaves Janus after a heated argument, leaving him begging for him to come back.

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Virgils glare burned a hole into Janus’ irises, face hot and wet with incessant tears, voice hoarse and unbearably scratchy from the yelling that echoed off of the walls of Janus and his room.

Janus looked back, expression tender and begging, sincere. He stepped closer to him. “Virgil, please. I know we have our differences but I think if we just talked it out we could—“

Virgil’s shoulders were up to his neck, his entire body felt like it was burning from the unforgiving rage boiling inside of him. “Save the shit Deceit, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Janus’ expression changed in the blink of an eye, going from pleading to stone cold anger. “Yknow what? Maybe Thomas was right about not wanting you around, after all, Paranoia isn’t very healthy…” he said, seething pain and irritation dripping off his tongue.

Virgil wrapped his arms around himself tightly, knowing from past experience that the grip would leave bruises, but the pain grounded him enough to help him leave his expression the same, not letting Janus have the satisfaction of knowing he got to him.

“You’re nothing but a manipulative sack of shit. I can’t believe I trusted you.” Virgil growled. The statement was only half true; Of course Janus had his moments—all of them did, inevitably, although some more than others.—but he and Remus were the first to accept him with open arms, although recent events said otherwise.

Janus scoffed at the statement, not saying anything else in response.

Virgil let go of himself, summoning a bag and shoving whatever that was nearest to him into it; A blanket, headphones, his phone, his poetry collection that consisted of Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, and Emily Dickinson.

Janus watched silently as Virgil sunk out, not bothering to give him a second glance.

———————————————————————

Virgil walked through the border between the light and dark mind palace, feeling his emotions shift from completely enraged with no ending in sight to mildly irritated. His body relaxed, the released tension leaving him fatigued. His jaw unclenched and his nails found their way out of his palms.

He sighed before twisting the knob and letting himself into a world of new possibilities. He stepped one foot into the common area and all noise was stripped from the room. He found Logan on the couch, Patton asleep next to him. He heard Roman singing Hamilton from his bedroom. Logan was the first to notice his presence.

“Anxiety? It’s odd seeing you here, is there an issue?” Logan looked at him the way he looked at every other side, an impassive expression all over his face.

Virgil sat on the floor facing the couch where Logan was sitting, flipping through a “History Of NASA” magazine.

He shook his head. “I might need to stay here a while..I don’t know.” He said faintly, taking his headphones and phone out of his bag, not wanting to make eye contact.

“For what reason in particular?” Logan responded, bookmarking the page he was on and setting it down next to him.

“Deceit. He..” his voice trailed off as he stared at his phone, searching through multiple different playlists for a certain song to match his mood.

“He what?” Logan prompted, confusion in his voice.

Virgil looked up, “We got into an argument, an extremely heated one, that’s it. I don’t want to be there anymore. Can we please drop this?”

Logan nodded “Yes, Of course. I suppose I should let the others know you’re here then?” He asked.

Virgil blinked in surprise at the compliance with dropping the subject before slowly nodding a “yes”.

Logan disappeared for a minute into the hallway, leaving Virgil to his music, letting the words sink in and calm his nerves.

He reappeared once again, Virgil taking out his headphones, noticing Roman had stopped singing.

“I have let him know. I am sure that Patton is fine with you being here, so no need to worry.” Logan said.

Virgil nodded, getting up and sitting on the couch next to Logan.

———————————————————————

Hours passed before Roman finally left his room, coming into the common area where Patton and Virgil were watching Lion King.

“Hiya, Kiddo! Wanna join us?, we’re binge watching Disney movies” Patton said giddily, the TV illuminating his a multitude of different colors.

Roman looked to the TV, watching as Scar let go of Mufasa, and nodded. “That sounds delightful Pat, sure.” He seemed a little hesitant before sitting down beside Patton.

“Logan’s working on some big project in his room so if you’re wondering where he is that’s where” Patton clarified, hoping to ease his confusion a bit; luckily, it worked, and Roman settled into the sofa. “He also doesn’t like Disney movies” he added, giggling a bit.

Virgil stayed silent, staring at the TV; trying to make it seem as if he was focused on the movie when in reality his mind was elsewhere. Guilt coursed through his bloodstream, leaving him feeling hollow. His phone buzzed and he picked it up, the screen practically blinding him due to the darkness of the room.

It was a message from Janus. He hadn’t even been gone a day and Janus was already begging for him to come back.

“We can work this out, okay? Just come back here, it’s not safe there. You know that too.” He had written.

Virgil tried ignoring him, acting as if he’d never seen the message, god how he tried, but within seconds he found the lack of response too anxiety inducing to ignore.

He stood up, walking into the nearest room absentmindedly, and closing the door, calling Janus.

He listened to the phone ring and ring and ring until it went to voicemail. He texted Janus back, fingers flying over the screen.

“It’s a lot safer here, actually. You were wrong Janus, you have to let it go. I’m not coming back, and I don’t want to work anything out, give it up already.”

The message was a lot nicer than intended, but he sent it anyway.

Janus left him on read.

He was about to leave the room before he was struck with the sight in front of him. Silky red curtains, star decals everywhere, Disney characters plastered on the door— shit. He was in Romans room.

He would’ve laughed at the decor of the room had he not been so tense.

A knock at the door made him jump, and he opened it quickly, coming face to face with Roman.

“Do you wanna explain why you’re in my room?” He said, confusion and Irritation apparent with every word.

Suddenly, the room was spinning and nausea hit him like a truck. Too many things were happening at once. The control once ever so present in his life was slowly crumbling like sand in his hands.

Roman caught him before he fell, holding up all of his weight with ease. “Woah, hey.” he said, taken off guard. Virgil didn’t respond, couldn’t respond.

“Breathe, take deep breaths, can you do that?” Roman said

Virgil took a breath and exhaled a shuddery one, leaning against Roman, the knowledge that Princey was seeing him like this only made it worse.

“Good, that’s good. Can you do a couple more for me?” Roman cooed

Virgil repeated the cycle a few times before the room became less and less blurry and the nausea subsided slightly.

Roman led him to his bed, both of them sitting down next to eachother.

“What is going on? You just…showed up here suddenly” Roman looked away from the side next to him, his eyes fixated on the floor. He was hesitant to speak; apart from his usual cockiness, truth be told he was really afraid to say the wrong thing.

“Ja— Deceit…I left the others.”

“You..oh okay..” he said softly

“So does this mean…”

“That I’m one of you?” Virgil finished the sentence for him.

Roman nodded, looking up at him.

“I doubt you guys would want me to be.” Virgil mumbled, messing with the loose seams of his jacket.

“Hey, no. You do a great deal for us and Thomas. You mean a lot, Anxiety.” Roman responded sweetly.

“Virgil.” Virgil corrected.

“Virgil..?” Roman parroted, eyes widening a bit.

“My name, it’s Virgil.” He repeated.

While he was still weary about trusting the Others, he didn’t see the pain in telling atleast one of them his name; if he made fun of it, then so be it.

“I think that’s wonderful.” Roman said, slowly taking the other sides hand in his.

Virgil’s face heat up with surprise and happiness and he immediately hid it with his hoodie sleeve “thanks, I guess” came the muffled reply.

“You’re one of us, I’ve deemed you so, right here, right now, and if anyone has a problem with it they can talk to me” Roman said confidently, taking Virgil’s hand away from his face and kissing it.

Virgil couldn’t stop smiling and Roman loved it.

“You have a beautiful smile, Virge” Roman said, hoping to egg on the side infront of him.

Virgil practically fell apart, pulling Roman close and kissing him, smiling into it.

Roman returned the passion, holding Virgil gently as their teeth accidentally knocked together from the uncontrollable smiles.

Roman pulled them apart, forehead pressed against Virgils.

“You can stay here for as long as you need, alright?” Roman whispered.

“I could stay here forever.” Virgil responded.

‘and I will’ he thought to himself.

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