#interactions (SOLDIER SUMMONER AND SAINT)

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part twenty-three

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: neutral, kinda sorta fluff

el's thoughts: finally some one on one interaction with kaz and y/n! and a lil surprise at the end hehe

series masterlist

It took two days after she emerged from the surgeon’s cabin for Kaz to make himself approach Y/N. She was sitting by herself, legs crossed, back to the hull of the ship, sipping a cup of tea. The view before him reminded him of their last conversation on a ship.

Y/N turned to look up at him as he leaned on the railing beside her. The silence that settled over them wasn’t heavy as Kaz wracked his mind for something to say. 

“The Darkling. That’s who I saw.” Her voice almost startled him as he realized what she was sharing. “Reminding me of everything I could never have despite my childish wishes and dreams.” 

“From where we stood it looked like he reminded you just how powerful you are as well,” said Kaz. 

She shook her head, “He reminded me of the monster he made me.”

“The Phoenix is hardly viewed as a monster. From what I’ve heard you’re just as much a Saint as the sun summoner. The most powerful inferni to walk the earth.” Kaz couldn’t brign h imsefl to look at her as he spoke, only kept his eyes trained on the sea below them.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be known as powerful because of my gift or- or because of the Darkling, or because of fear. I… I want to be powerful because I moved forward despite the odds. If people were to fear me, I want them to fear the name I built for myself.” She squeezed the rail under her hand. “I envy you for that reason… if I were to speak honestly.”

It still confused him how anyone could be jealous of the life he built himself. Yet alone how Y/N L/N ex-Lieutenant General of the second army. She lived in a palace with full meals everyday and nice clothes on her back. How could she be jealous of a barrel rat who was a scavanger of food most of his youth. 

Kaz tilted his head as if to dump his thoughts out as he limped over to her. “I want to show you something.”

“I’m well, thank you for asking,” she said, looking up at him. “How are you?”

He felt his lips twist. “Splendid.” Awkwardly, he lowered himself down beside her and set aside his cane.

“Is your leg bad?”

“It’s fine. Here.” He spread Wylan’s drawing of the prison sctor between tem. Most of Wylan’s plans showed the Ice Court from above, but the prison elevation was a side view, a cross section showing the building’s floors stacked on top of one another.

“I’ve seen it.” Y/N said. She ran her finger from the basement up to the roof in a straight line. Six stories up a chimney.” 

“Can you do it?”

“I’m a heavy footed soldier, not your Wraith. Is there another option?”

“No.”

“So if I say I can’t make the climb, will you tell Spect to turn the boat around and take us back to Ketterdam?”

“I’ll find another option,” said Kaz. “I don’t know what, but I’m not giving up on that haul.”

“You know I’ll at least try it, Kaz, and you know I’m not going to refuse. I’ll find a way to get us out of there. So why ask?”

‘Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.’ 

“I want to make sure you know what you’ll be dealing with and that you’re studying the plans.”

“Will there be a test?”

“Yes,” said Kaz. “If you fail, we’ll all end up stuck inside a Fjerdan prison.”

“Mmm,” she said and took a sip of her tea. “And I’ll end up dead one way or another.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the hull. “I’m worried about the escape route to the harbor. I don’t like that there’s only one way out.”

Kaz settled back against the hull, too. “Me neither,” he conceded, stretching out his bad leg. “But that’s why the Fjerdan’s built it that way.”

“Do you trust Specht?

Kaz cast her a sideways glance. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

“I’m not one in a place to judge your crew, Brekker, but if the Ferolind isn’t waiting for us in the harbor…”

“I trust him enough.” He could feel her staring at the side of his face. He didn’t turn to look at her while he willed himself to keep his breathing even and his face to heat up. 

“He owes you then?”

Kaz nodded. He glanced around then said, “The navy threw him out for insubordinstion and refused him his pension. He has a sister to support near Belendt. I got him his money.”

“That was good of you.”

Kaz felt his eyes narrow. “I’m not some character out of a children’s story who plays harmless pranks and steals from teh rich to give to the poor. There was money to be made and information to be had. Specht knows the navy’s routes like the back of his hand.”

“Never something for nothing, Kaz,” she said, her gaze steady. “I know. Still, if the Ferolind is intercepted, we’ll have no way out of Djerholm.”

“I’ll get us out. You know that.”

‘Tell me you know that.’ He needed her to say it. This job wasn’t like anything he’d attempted before. Every doubt she’d raised was a legitimate one, and only echoed the fears in his own head. He’d snapped at her before they’d left Ketterdam, told her he’d be able to replace her is she didn’t think he could pull it off. He needed to know that she believed he could do this, that he could take them into the Ice Court and bring them out feeling whole and righteous the way he’d done with the other crews on jobs. He needed to know she believed in him.

“I trust you, Kaz,” she said as she ran her finger over the rim of her cup. “I hear Pekka Rollins was the one gunning for us in the harbor.”

“So?”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten your personal tiff with him.”

“He’s just another boss, one more Barrel thug.”

“Kaz Brekker, don’t you start lying to me now.”

Later, he wasn’t sure why he’d said it. He’d never told anyone, never spoken the words aloud. But now Kaz kept his eyes on the sails above them and said, “Pekka Rollins killed my brother.”

He didn’t have to see Y/N’s face to sense her shock. “You had a brother?”

“I had a lot of things,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry.” He saw her stretch her hand out to him then quickly pull it back. “I know what it’s like to lose a brother. I can promise you that Pekka will get the suffering he deserves.”

Had he wanted her sympathy? Was that why he’d told her?

“I’ll pray for him,” Y/N said. “For peace in the next world if not in this one.”

He turned his head. They were sitting close together, their shoulders were touching. He stared into the deep y/e/c of her eyes and noticed that once again her hair was down. She typically wore it tied back in a messy coil. Even the idea of being this near to someone should have set his skin crawling. Instead he thought, ‘What happens if I move closer?’

“I don’t want your prayers.”

Y/N swallowed hard before speaking, “I know this won’t mean much to you… but I pray for him. For the person who you once were. And you.”

“I don’t want your prayers.”

“What do you want then?” 

The old answers came easily back to  mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. ‘You, Y/N. You.’

He shrugged and turned away. “To die buried under the weight of my own gold.”

“Again,” Y/N sighed. “Then I’ll pray you get all you ask for.”

“More prayers?” he asked. “And what do you want, L/N?”

He could almost hear her mind racing and he couldn’t help but hope the same thoughts were running through her head as it did his. 

“To turn my back on Ketterdam and never hear that name again. It’s only brought me troubles.”

‘Good.’ He’d finally be rid of this distraction.

“Your four million kruge can grant that wish.” He pushed to his feet. “Save your prayers for good weather and stupid guards. Just leave me out of it.”

He could hear her faint call of his name but ignored it and continued to walk belowdeck. He needed to get away from the overwhelming feeling of her.

~

By the time they bid their goodbyes to the ship’s crew, the sky had turned from pink to gold.

“See you in Djerholm harbor,” called Specht. “No mouners.”

“No funerals.” Y/N suprised herself when she called the reply back. She really had spent too much time with these people. 

The group began their hike from the rocky shore up the cliff side, but Y/N waited behind with her eyes trained on the horizon. No one else had picked up on her absence yet and she was grateful. 

She only had to stay a few minutes longer before the familiar sails of the Volkvolny came into view. A warm wave of relief and hope washed over her as she saw the familiar figure of her leading hope. 

Inej Ghafa walked off the ship and quickly made her way to the inferni’s side, wrapping the pair wrapping their arms around each other.

“Saint’s, Inej.” Y/N chuckled. “Thank you.”

“Always.” The Suli girl smiled kindly. “Now, catch me up.”

Y/N and Inej spent their hike catching each other up on all their affairs, but the majority was talking about the plans for this heist.

“Climbing six floors up a chimney?”

“Yeah… You think you can do it?”

“Of course I can.”

The two girls saw the group of five up ahead and sped up their pace. Once they caught up Nina and Jesper rushed to embrace Inej in a suffocating hug. Y/N felt Kaz’s eyes burning holes in the side of her face but chose to ignore him.

“How did you make it here?” asked Jesper.

“I sent a letter back home,” Y/N spoke up. “And just to my luck, Stumhound and his crew had docked back at the palace.”

Kaz stepped forward. “You didn’t think to tell me this?”

“You didn’t think to tell me about Van Eck?” She challenged. “I thought it through, Inej would make the climb. I told you I had it handled.”

“You just added one extra member to our crew. That changes everything.”

“Don’t make it bigger than it is, Kaz. It only changes the part of us getting in. Once we get past that, everything else will fall into place.”

“You undermined me.”

“You hid the truth from me.”

The rest of the group backed away slowly, giving the two a bit more space and none of them wanted to get involved.

Y/N took a deep breath, the cold air stinging her lungs and throat. “Kaz, I brought more help. Take it or leave it.”

Kaz stared at her for a long moment, multiple emotions fluttering through his eyes. He hummed to himself and turned around to keep walking. 

“Saints,” said Inej. “We’re actually doing this.”

“I’ve spent every minute of every miserable day wishing to be off that ship,” said Jesper. “So why do I suddenly miss it?

Wylan stamped his boots. “Maybe because it already feels like our feet are going to freeze off.”

“When we get out money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm,” said Kaz. “Let’s go.” He’d left his crow’s head cane aboard the Ferolind and substituted a less conspicuous walking stick. Jesper had mournfully left behind his prized pearl-handled revolvers in favor of a pair of unor-namented guns.

Jesper consulted his compass, and they turned south, seeking a path that would lead them to the main trading road. “I’m going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me.”

Kaz fell into step beside him. “Why don’t you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kurge for you? That’s what the big players do.”

“You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to…”

Their voices trailed off as they tramped ahead, and Y/N and the others followed after.

~*~

taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes @bookworm-center @el-de-phi

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #ellora.writes

[qqueenofhades]

Completely shocking, out-of-the-blue prompt that I've never mentioned to you before, definitely not inspired by work:

Ivan is a grumpy librarian/archivist, and Fedyor is a researcher who comes by looking for information on Darklina and/or their connection to Nikolai, and he finds the background of a love story. Obviously, the main character is Ivan's Disgust at the Perception of Heterosexuality

The light in the windowless back office is dim, grainy, and often gives Ivan a headache within the first few hours of him getting to work, which is not ideal for improving his temper. (Then again, not much is.) And despite its flaws, he does vastly prefer it to actually having to interact with the library patrons, as there is literally nothing worse than that. Especially academics, who come in with their laundry lists and their obscure texts, their pet projects and their insistence that if he just looks harder, he's sure to find it this time. Ivan has entertained many, many happy visions of just walking out, locking the doors behind him, and setting the whole thing on fire. Not that he has done that, and he probably -- probably -- wouldn't. He needs this job. Employment for a notorious ex-special ops soldier is thin on the ground as it is, and especially when it means he can, if he plays his cards right, spend most of the day completely alone. But still.

It is now, however, winter break at Os Alta Imperial State University, which means the throngs of panicked students trying to finish their last-minute assignment have mercifully receded, and Ivan can mostly organize his boxes in peace. Or so he thinks, until the accursed tinkle of the Please Ring for Service bell summons him like a wrathful specter, sweater-clad and glowering, to the front desk. "What?!"

"Uh. Good morning to you too." The newcomer -- young, dark-haired, and holding a large manila folder which portends absolutely nothing good, raises both eyebrows. "Can I speak to the archivist?"

"You're speaking to him," Ivan growls. This welcome has caused more than one quaking undergraduate to flee in abject terror rather than ask for even one book, and he fondly hopes for a similar effect this time. But the newcomer -- too old for an undergrad, so probably an advanced doctoral candidate or junior lecturer -- is made of stronger stuff, and doesn't flinch. "Can I help you, Mr... ?"

"Doctor," the annoyingly handsome interloper (not that Ivan has noticed) informs him. "Dr. Fedyor Kaminsky. I'm the new lecturer in the history department, Modern Ravkan History, and I was hoping that you could retrieve a few records for me? Boxes..." He consults his notes. Ivan contemplates murder. "T-1343 and T-1345 especially?"

Oh, great. Not again. Kaminsky -- yes, he vaguely recalls that name, from a department telegram welcoming the new faculty and staff, but it is absolutely not germane to Ivan's further actions in any part. He knows what is in those boxes, and someone always thinks they'll find something there that hasn't already been found, removed, and/or heavily censored. Ravka's last tsar and tsaritsa, Nikolai Lantsov and his half-Shu queen, Alina Starkov, are a figure of fascination and mystery for plenty of people, even after the revolution and the establishment of the Konsilium and everything that befell them as a result. Especially their relationship with the so-called Darkling, Aleksander Morozova, one of the most enigmatic and controversial figures in all of Ravkan history. Doctor Fedyor Kaminsky thinks he's going to jump into his new job with that? Good luck.

"We don't have those boxes," Ivan says, which is almost true. The Konsilium strongly prefers, in general, that people don't look at them, and any other uncomfortable bits of their history. "Go away."

Fedyor Kaminsky folds his arms. "No."

Saints, Ivan thinks sourly. What has he done to deserve this purgatory? (The Konsilium has also tried to outlaw the Ravkan Faith, since they're all supposed to be modern and secular now and because nobody wants another Apparat, but old habits are hard to break.) He stares at Fedyor, who stares back. This is confounding. Why hasn't he run away in terror yet? Everyone else does.

"Sorry," Ivan says, and turns away. "Can't help. Good day."

Naturally, Fedyor Kaminsky does not take the hint. He's back again the next day, still politely and stubbornly repeating his request for those boxes, and when Ivan loathingly suggests that the library is on winter-break hours and does not have to accommodate him at all, cheerily asks if Ivan's boss, the director of special collections, would agree. The threat of workplace discipline (or Saints forbid, a note in his permanent file) is stiff enough to make Ivan finally, furiously recant. Fine. If Kaminsky wants to get himself fired before even finishing his first year, it's nothing to Ivan. Might be a perk.

So, when they're into the second week of the requests, Ivan gives in, stomps to the back, and angrily hauls down the boxes, which are gathering dust from all the times he has, according to the rules, refused access to them before. It's not wise for Fedyor to look at these materials in the open, so Ivan tells him to take them to one of the backside reading rooms -- which is right across from Ivan's office, and makes him grimly reflect that he should have planned it better. But Fedyor works steadily and mostly silently, which is always a commendation in Ivan's book, and finally, on one dead-silent freezing morning right after the Winter Fete, when they are literally the only two people in the library and probably all of campus, he gives in. "What are you looking for?"

Fedyor jumps, glancing up in patent surprise. They eye each other for a long moment, as if to be sure that Ivan Sakharov actually did, entirely of his own volition, initiate a conversation with another human being. Then finally, warily, he says, "What's it to you?"

Good, Ivan thinks. Good instincts, just in case I was in fact an informer for the Konsilium. "I don't care," he says aloud. "I was just curious. They seemed so important to you."

"I'm just working on something," Fedyor says, after a long pause. "Confirming a hypothesis. It'll probably get me into trouble, but -- " He shrugs, with no small amount of bitterness. "I'm used to that."

Ivan thinks about it. This can't go anywhere good, but they've been made a strange sort of partners in this buried secret, and he's almost gotten used to Fedyor working away outside his door. "What?"

"I think they were lovers," Fedyor says, after a final, reluctant moment. "Alina and the Darkling, that is, and then also Alina and Nikolai, and maybe all three of them together. I think it's a love story. And as for why this matters, well -- it wouldn't change anything about our own history right now, how it all ended. But the narrative has always been that the Darkling was this awful monster who had to be destroyed, and the Grisha were his secret shock troops determined to overthrow the country on his behalf, and that pulled Alina and Nikolai into some regrettable circumstance they couldn't control and that led to their tragic downfall -- you know. It's just..."

"What?"

"I don't think it's true." Fedyor shrugs again. "I think everything we know about our own past, about the fall of the Imperial House of Lantsov, and about the Grisha, is a lie. And if that's the case, then the Konsilium knows it, or has covered it up, and that means -- "

"Shut up," Ivan interrupts roughly. "Saints. Don't talk like that. Someone could hear you."

"You could hear me." Fedyor smiles a little, a shadowed eclipse, and it does something very strange to Ivan's innards. "Does that matter?"

"I... " Ivan's mouth is dry. He can't look away. Not for any reason that means anything. "Never mind," he says, which seems the best and safest option, if it isn't already far too late. "Go back to work."

Fedyor eyes him a moment longer, then nods, a deliberate motion indicating that he knows and understands Ivan is choosing to keep his secret. Ivan himself doesn't know why, or what it is about Doctor Kaminsky, the feckless and foolish and fearless, that's gotten under his skin. It could be -- but no, it's not, it can't be that. From time to time, the very brave or very stupid actually think that Ivan himself is good-looking and try to flirt, and once a woman actually asked him on a date, which was the worst moment of his entire life (does he look like a heterosexual?!?!) But it's just shallow, surface-level, not like they're seeing him. Not like they know what monstrosity lies beneath. I think it's a love story. As if love matters. As if love, and the simple truth of it, can change the course of history.

Ivan shudders, once and then again. He looks at Fedyor for a very long moment, allowing himself -- just for that short and fleeting instant -- to imagine something he can never, never have. He grieves for it as if it was real, and then he lets it go. Turns, and walks away.

#mearcatsreturns #ask #fivan #fivan ff #heartrender husbands #darknikolina #winter prompts

[stromuprisahat]

Alina and the Darkling’s interactions, pt. 10

Chapter 21- The rest.

The fact Alina has troubles to recognize emotions on his face doesn’t really surprise me.

It’s kinda sad she’s (unknowingly) promising him eternity for one measly mortal life. If only things were that simple. You can almost see him picturing it all.

The last sentence makes it sound like she’s in love with the amplifier in him. Since I already know the author’s gonna spend next two books trying to persuade us Morozova’s amplifiers are “corrupting” the heroine, we could conclude:

a.) All amplifiers make Grisha want more power. Even if they already have one, and can’t get another. Which could lead to unnecessary slaughter and spoilage of amplifiers killed by already amplified Grisha.

b.) Alina is powerhungry by nature. She has the collar, yet subconsciously wants Aleksander’s bones too.

c.) The Darkling is Morozova’s amplifier. That’s why he affects Alina, when she already has the Stag. Like calls to like.

The Darkling’s not dumb, he can put two and two together, and Malina’s relationship is obviously unhealthily codependent (She keeps asking only about Maaal during her imprisonment.) and Malyen’s anti-Grisha attitude is just oozing out of him.  He’s a traitor, unworthy opponent in love (or lust or whatever), lousy prejudiced otkazat’sya.

I’m not sure how much is Darkles aware of the personal layer, since getting rid of Malyen works for his Cause too. He’ll make the Sun Summoner stronger AND he’ll have Alina for himself. Eventually. Since both of these align so nicely...

He keeps (gently) touching her. I’d say it’s an interesting course of action considering his fucked up relationship with physical touch. He’s an amplifier, he’s spent most of his life avoiding it. He’s still wearing gloves, even though he probably won’t be killed for his bones anymore. He has to be horribly touch-starved. Humans are social creatures thriving on physical contact, he couldn’t have any all of his childhood (Baghra doesn’t strike me as a hugging kind of person, pun intended.), there were no loved ones in his life for Saints-know-how many years/decades... Alina won’t seek out his touch in the foreseeable future, he can as well take it. She hates him anyway, plus it throws her off even more.

We could also compare this part to the show. Show!Aleksander doesn’t really threaten Malyen. Not too vividly. I’d say what makes the difference is Luda.

In show he lost someone he cared deeply about. He has feelings for Alina, and hope she’ll understand him. He doesn’t want her to suffer, he’s willing to shield her, be it from anger of the mob or death of her friends.

Book!Darkling on the other hand, knows the world sucks, loss in inevitable and believes that sooner Alina lives through all of that nonsense, sooner she can grow up  and join him as his true equal. Killing the guy, who’s holding her back, right in front of  her is a sort of a shock therapy. This Darkling is efficient, not mindful.

The Darkling feels betrayed, so he hurts in return. Strictly speaking, he still treats Alina better than any other superior would. Malina would never get their meeting, or a whole NIGHT before execution!

Food for thoughts: How many times in his long, long life has he been betrayed? How many “friends” and allies stabbed him in the back? How many soldiers, who should’ve fought alongside him, defected? Can you imagine the amount of aversion he probably has towards traitors of any kind?

There are phrases that just don’t work. “Something broke loose inside me”? With your constant anger issues? Isn’t this the same person, who was snapping at people, who accidentally crashed into them? Or at their (cowardly) superiors in front of high-ranking officers and a tent full of other soldiers? Sorry, Alina, but you never struck me as a meek individual.

Aleksander is a very self-aware person. He knows what both the world and his choices made him, he knows it’s not pretty, but it’s already done, so no point whining about the spilled milk. He doesn’t disrespect his “innocent victims” by indecisiveness or empty regret. He knows what he is, and why and doesn’t deny it.

I think show merely put into words, what was already in between the lines:

Our enemies are threatened by your mere existence. But Ravka can only stand up to them if we present a united front. And there is talk of uprising in the West, led by our esteemed First Army General. Our own people, turning their backs on us. I have been fighting this war alone for so long. I have buried so many good soldiers. Friends. The coffers are running dry, the noose tightens and our own people are turning against Grisha, just as their kin once did.

This is the situation, where the Darkling finally finds the Sun Summoner, but instead of dealing with war, he has to deal with her.

She’s immature, doesn’t care about anything but one specific otkazat’sya, can’t even act like a half decent soldier, if she can’t offer understanding and/or support. There’s no time to baby her. The Darkling needs a working asset like yesterday, he catches feelings instead. Who wouldn’t be tired?

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4,  pt. 5,  pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, pt. 9, pt. 11, pt. 12

#Grishaverse #Grisha trilogy #Shadow and Bone (book) #S&B Chapter 21 #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo #grishanalyticritical #V #The Darkling #Alina Starkov #Darklina #Alina and the Darkling’s interactions #Grisha amplifiers #Morozova's amplifiers #Grisha #self centred and paranoid #anti Malina #Malyen Oretsev #anti Mal #General Kirigan #Daddy vs. Sir #Luda #01×07: The Unsea #01×04: Otkazat'sya #Free hugs for everyDarkling

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Ten

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE – Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Ten

The Crows quickly navigated the palace halls, trying to get to Jesper at the meeting point as quickly as they could. He was supposed to be waiting outside the escape route, standing watch, overlooking the carriages, which was their escape plan, and Elham was praying he was ok and waiting for them so she could get as far away from the Little Palace as possible.

She was cursing herself the whole way, punishing herself for not getting Alina away from the Darkling. She didn't have much time to ponder how colossally they had failed, or how pissed Kaz was going to be for her not telling him that she was an Inferni, although he would have plenty of time to sulk on the way home, because he had finally led them outside, spotting Jesper.

They trudged over to him, Kaz now very obviously limping, and Elham looked even more worried than Jesper did.

"Wow, Elham. I've never seen you in a dress. Interesting."

She sent a glare his way, and he immediately reeled back.

What happened, you ok?"

Inej's face lit up. "She's real, Jesper. She made the light sing."

Kaz grumbled next to Elham. "We lost her."

Jesper chuckled, turning towards the carriage, a smile on his face, his voice full of amusement.

"Did we?"

Kaz squinted his eyes, before speaking. "Well, we don't know where she is."

Jesper was still chuckling. "Don't we?"

Elham froze, before catching up to Jesper, spinning him around by his jacket.

"What can I do for you, love?"

"Jesper, very much not the time for you to be joking. What do you mean?"

"Just ask."

"Jesper!" Elham let a flame pool in her palm, and Jesper immediately gasped, taking a step back.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

Kaz stepped up as they began climbing into the carriage. "We don't have time for this, just get in, and you can give us all a very well deserved explanation."

His tone was menacing, and Elham sunk into her seat she had taken next to Inej.

"Do we have a fix on where the target is?"

Jesper glanced towards the back of the carriage, before smiling, snapping the reigns. The carriage jolted forward, and they began making their way off the palace grounds.

---

It had been a few minutes of riding in silence, and the air was thick with tension. Elham pretended not to notice Inej's glances toward her hands she had clenched in her lap. Jesper kept glancing over his shoulder at her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

Kaz hadn't turned around once, eyes set straight ahead.

Jesper finally broke the silence. "So...do you want to tell me what the hell that was?"

Elham took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. Through clenched teeth, she spoke. "I'm an Inferni."

"Well that's obvious, love. I think we all gathered that. Why the hell didn't any of us know? And why show us now?"

Elham thought back to the orphanage she grew up in, to being tested and taken to the Little Palace. Meeting Nina, training with Baghra, finding out about the Darkling. Escaping and coming to Ketterdam. Going through a year of pain, meeting Kaz and becoming part of the Dregs, then the Crows, part of a family.

Kaz still hadn't turned around, but she knew he was listening. Inej had turned to face her, contently listening.

"Ok, ok, alright. You all know I'm an orphan, I grew up in Karamzin until I was 10 or so. I don't know who my parents are, what happened to them, or why they didn't want me, I just know I was born in Novyi Zem and I was taken to the orphanage, and I lived there till the Grisha came to test the new children. They tested me, and took me to the Little Palace to become part of the Second Army, to start training."

Jesper turned around slightly, eyeing her. "You're telling me you lived here, and didn't wanna tell us any vital information to get us inside?"

"I didn't want you to know, ok! It wasn't exactly the best time of my life here."

"Why not?" Elham felt a tear roll down her cheek, and quickly wiped it away. "I'm an Inferni, but I'm not like the rest of them. They have to use something to create a spark, they can't just summon it like I can. The problem is, it's unpredictable. I never got a hold on it, so they would rarely let me use it in training. I had to learn physical combat skills instead, which did actually come in handy in the Barrel."

Inej had grabbed Elham's hand now, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Kaz had slightly turned in her direction.

"Anyways, everyone thought I was a freak, people were scared of me, they didn't want to be around me. Besides Nina."

Kaz fully turned around towards her at that, and you could almost detect a tone of hurt in his voice. What else hadn't she told him? "Really? You know Nina?"

"Knew. I haven't seen her since I was 13. She was one of my only friends in the Little Palace, and even then, I hardly saw her. Etherealki don't interact much with Corporalki, each type of Grisha generally sticks to their own order. Nina left before me though, she was quite skilled, and the Second Army needed new soldiers. I wasn't anywhere near ready, so I was left alone. Baghra took a liking to me, and made me her personal project."

Inej quipped up. "Who's Baghra?"

Elham's lips turned to a frown. "The Darkling's mother."

"What? Isn't the Darkling like a hundred years old?"

"Yes. And so is she. He just plays her off as an older mentor that had joined when he first came into service for the King. Which wasn't in the past hundred years, by the way."

Jesper sounded exasperated. "What does that mean?"

Elham almost laughed, and she would have if there wasn't a pit in her stomach and she felt like she could burst into tears at any moment.

"The Darkling, and the Black Heretic...they're the same person. He's been faking his death every few hundred years and coming into the service of a new King, now he serves the Lantsov line. I'm sure he was alive when the first Lantsov became King, he's that old, and so is Baghra."

Inej gasped, her face going pale. "The Black Heretic, the one who created the Fold...the Darkling did that?"

"Yes."

Kaz finally spoke up. "How the hell could you possibly know all of this? I find it hard to believe someone decided to tell all of this to a 13 year old girl."

Elham narrowed her eyes at him. "They didn't have a choice. Baghra had to tell me, it was the only way she could get me to leave."

Jesper was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Saints, Elham, alright, I'm gonna need you to explain a little bit better than that."

Elham nodded, sitting up straighter. "As I said earlier, Baghra started watching over me. She didn't like the idea of a Grisha not being able to defend themself. So she made me choose a weapon, and master it. She had me running drills, practicing sun up to sun down. Saints, I've never been as tired as I was training with her."

Elham chuckled, but it was pained, and her smile didn't meet her eyes. "She taught me some ways to try and control my powers, but I would never be as good with them as I was with a sword, and I think she knew that, so she let me master it before she started training me with my powers. We would practice away from the other Grisha, she didn't want me distracted. One day, the Darkling sat in on my training."

She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. "He never told me why he was there, and Baghra lied and said he just liked to check in on the training sessions every once in a while. It's awful to say, but Saints, I would have done anything to have people look at me like he did when he watched me use my powers. He didn't look at me like I was some freak of nature, he saw my potential. I was so naive, I should have known."

Kaz was intently staring at Elham, watching the emotions change in her face. "Know what?"

"That he wanted to use me. My powers are different, I can summon them whenever I want, and the more I used them, the stronger I got. I could blaze down a whole forest if I wanted to and not even break a sweat. He made sure Baghra was teaching me to control them, and then he started taking me to training sessions himself, asking me questions."

Kaz's jaw was clenched. "Like what?"

"Like if I was scared of his powers. Or if I was sick of people looking down on me. When I started getting a grip on my powers, he took me from training out into the forest to practice more. And then...he--"

Elham choked down a cry, rubbing her hand down her face. "He wanted to see if he could use my powers with his. He had me create a flame, and he would twist darkness into it, making the flame grow. He could pull the flame towards him, moving it without me having to. Saints only know what I could have done with an amplifier."

"What's an amplifier?"

"An object that a Grisha can use to enhance their power. The Darkling is one himself, he was by far the best method to me controlling my powers."

Inej squeezed Elham's hand again. "I don't understand, why'd he take such interest in you?"

Elham couldn't stop the tears from falling this time. "He wanted to use my powers and his in the Fold. He wanted to light the whole thing up. It would have been a mountain of fire and darkness. He never wanted to destroy the fold, he wanted to make it a weapon." She chuckled darkly. "I didn't want to believe Baghra when she told me. I was just beginning to feel like I belonged, and it felt like she was ripping that away from me. I'm not completely heartless, though, I never would have let him use me like that. I have no love for Ravka, but I could never add to his incessant need for destruction and power. I escaped, and never thought about coming back."

Jesper laid a hand on her knee. "I'm sorry you had to come back."

She gave him a small smile. "It's alright. I think I needed to. I needed to face this, I needed to face him. Besides, I had to at least try and get Alina out. When you all went into the palace, and I had to try and find another way in, I took the trail I used to escape. It led right to Baghra's hut, she's the one who helped me get inside the palace. I had to see if what everyone was saying was true, if the Sun Summoner was real, so I went to her."

Elham was actually smiling now, and Kaz's shoulders eased at the sight of it. "You know, she was the one who gave me the sword. The one I had all those years in Ketterdam."

The smile faded. "The one Pekka Rollins broke. I had almost forgotten about that."

Kaz watched her face fall, and despite himself, his heart clenched at the sight. She continued.

"Baghra told me that I needed to get Alina out, and I promised her I would. That kind of power in the hands of the Darkling, it would be catastrophic...oh, Saints!"

"What?"

"Baghra! If Alina escaped, the Darkling is going to find out who let her go, who told her about him. He's ruthless, he'd kill his own mother. If anything happens to her..."

Elham trailed off, unable to speak. Despite not knowing the right thing to say, Kaz couldn't bear to watch her in pain, and watch her sit there suffering. He hesitated then spoke.

"You know, she is the Darkling's mother. She's survived all of these years before him, I'm sure she'll long outlive him. If she's anything like how you talk about her, she has nothing to worry about."

Elham sniffed, nodding at him gratefully. "So...now you all know, I guess. About me, and everything. Surprise?"

Inej let out a laugh, and Jesper was grinning. "Hey, El...want to know another surprise?"

She eagerly nodded, directing her attention to him. He glanced around at the Crows, leaning in. "The Sun Summoner? She may or not be in the back of the carriage in the trunk. Allegedly, of course."

There was silence for a few moments, and nobody moved, stunned. Elham just stared at Jesper, who was grinning like a fool. Kaz relaxed against his seat, his lips curled into the smallest grin.

"Well. Maybe there are Saints after all."

---

A/N - hi guys, i'm really excited to get into the stuff i've had planned since before starting this story, i've got a lot of elham and kaz content coming, hope y'all are ready for it all. let me know what you thought, feel free to reach out, and thank you for the support!

#wattpad #shadow and bone #six of crows imagine #six of crows #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #in my feels probably #ineffable #x reader #oc

[dr-dendritic-trees]

The Locked Tomb Warnings List

I've been rereading The Locked Tomb and it gets better every reread and I love it with all my heart. Nothing I'm about to write is a criticism of the book.

But I've seen at least half a dozen people in the tags who were genuinely very shocked by what the books were like, because they heard the vaunted "Lesbian necromancers in space" tagline, saw the shippy fanart, and picked up the book expecting something fundamentally fun.

The series is a lot of things... its not that.

So here's my best attempt at an introduction/warning set for the books. I'll do my best to be comprehensive and as spoiler-free as possible. If anyone sees a warning I've missed, please add it!

General Notes:

The well-known "Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!" tagline that seems to get people into the series is basically accurate, but an actual summary would be more like:

When the emperor summons the 8 scions of the imperial death-cult to attempt to ascend to necromantic sainthood the heir to the Ninth House, Harrowhark Nonagesimus, leader of a dying house, finds herself without a cavalier (a sworn swordswoman). In an act of desperation she coerces her childhood nemesis, indentured servant Gideon Nav to accompany her to the first house to protect her house's secrets. But her house isn't the only one covering things up, and the promised lyctoral trial soon descends into a gore-spattered locked room murder mystery.

In Harrow the Ninth newly made necromantic saint Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been recruited to battle the secret enemies of the Emperor-God. But her lyctorhood is incomplete, her allies seem to be out to get her, and she seems to be at risk of losing her sanity, her life or both.

Gideon the Ninth is a very fast paced book, there's a lot of characters, a lot of world-building, and a lot of twists. There are not only things that won't make sense until a second reading, there are things that didn't make sense until I reread it after reading Harrow the Ninth, and there are probably things in it which will look totally different after I've read Alecto the Ninth. Its a dark book and its predominant emotional note is grief. Harrow the Ninth is the same, and, additionally, nearly half of it is written in second person. And basically, until Alecto the Ninth comes out, whether we actually know what happened is a totally open question.

That said, while its a dark book and a whole range of terrible things happens to these characters, while they are not treated at all gently, their experiences, and their many failings, are approached with nuance and mercy. They're not happy books but they're very cathartic. I do genuinely recommend them to all comers, I just don't want them to horrify and upset anyone.

Warnings List:

Gideon the Ninth Contains:

- Depictions of abuse (physical, emotional and spiritual) towards children and in intimate relationships.

- Violence, gore, murder, mass murder (including the deaths of children) and ritual cannibalism.

- Imperialism, indentured servitude and child soldiers, which go largely unremarked.

- Lies, manipulation and gaslighting

- Haunting, possession, body horror, magical violence, creepy skeleton monsters, etc.

- Self-hatred, self-destructive behaviour references to suicide

- Depictions of chronic and terminal illness which are both weird and graphic

- There's also also a lot of interpersonal relationships and interactions that aren't abusive, but are deeply unhealthy to the tune of very traumatized characters trying to deal with their mutually incompatible trauma.

- Death cults (various)

Harrow the Ninth contains:

- Literally all of the above again

- There is a LOT more gaslighting. There's some in GtN, but its a major theme of HtN.

- Depictions of psychosis and unreality. Most people who read this will spend at least some time not knowing what is real or not, its a very deliberate and large part of the narrative.

- Genocide and also a very particular form of mass death

- Reproductive coercion and also some uses of pregnancy and reproductive technology which aren't technically abusive in the real world sense... but will definitely make you feel very bad.

- There's also a blink and you miss it passing reference to child abuse that implies sexual abuse. Its a single short paragraph in chapter 47 but I'd hate for it to catch anyone out.

And lastly:

If you lurk in the tags or on twitter long enough, you will inevitably come across a discussion of whether these books invoke the Bury Your Gays trope. Frankly, I think this is a lot of nonsense. I think that when you're dealing with a majority queer cast in a horror/mystery setting, even discussing that trope doesn't make sense. It doubly doesn't make sense because until we get the end of Alecto the Ninth, I don't think we actually know who is dead or not. But it does have both a majority queer cast and a body count and its fair and understandable that not everyone is up for that.

But its true that there is a canonical coffee shop AU.

#harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #tag list

[intermezzura]

Zura reviews: Shadow and Bones trilogy

I was in a reading slump, and this title keep showing up here and there, especially with the recent Netflix series -- so I decided to give it a go.

And BOY, do I have thoughts about it. Hence this review. With a bit of my own analysis, too.

I will try my best to be spoiler-free. However I might go over several storytelling aspects (like worldbuilding or character progression), so please be advised before continuing!

Here goes nothing.

Firstly, the summary

Taken from grishaverse.com, the official website for the series.

Soldier. Summoner. Saint.

Orphaned and expendable, Alina Starkov is a soldier who knows she may not survive her first trek across the Shadow Fold—a swath of unnatural darkness crawling with monsters. But when her regiment is attacked, Alina unleashes dormant magic not even she knew she possessed.

Now Alina will enter a lavish world of royalty and intrigue as she trains with her country’s magical military elite—and falls under the spell of their notorious leader, the Darkling. He believes Alina can summon a force capable of destroying the Shadow Fold and reuniting their war-ravaged country, but only if she can master her untamed gift.

Welcome to Ravka . . . a world of science and superstition where nothing is what it seems.

Quite intriguing, huh? Now, here's the basic data on the book:

Author: Leigh Bardugo

Genre: fantasy, YA, angst (and a LOT of it)

Number of books: 3 (Shadow and Bones, Siege and Storm, Ruin and Rising). I love the names!

Vibes I get: steampunk, magepunk (not sure if this is a real world, but I heard a friend use it before), industrial era

Tropes: chosen ones, friends to lovers, slowburn romance, right person-wrong time, found family, us against the world

My opinion about this series

It has its moments, and it was the kind of book you can't put down without being eager to come back. However, it has some parts that makes it the kind of story that wouldn't suit everyone. I personally think it's good, but I wouldn't read it more than once.

What's notable about it, both good and bad (IMHO)

The worldbuilding! I love worldbuilding, and the world of Grishaverse is a great balance between real-gritty-historical world, with a dash of fantasy. There were also military and royalty elements thrown in. I recognize references to European cultures in several points, mainly in terms and names. What's genius was the people in the world know that magic exists (also known as 'small science'), but they also have the mindset that "yeah we have magic, but that kind of magic is just a fairytale". It's kinda like us in the modern world who have all this science and debate "do intelligent alien exists?" when we already found some extraterrestrial bacteria

The narrative style. Leigh Bardugo masterfully use the "show, don't tell" approach to her storytelling. This is very apparent on several heartbreaking moments portrayed in the books. I haven't been in romantic relationship for a while, yet the sad romantic interactions remind me about the struggles of being in one. That conflicting feeling of wanting to push someone away but wanting them to be closer at the same time. Honestly, there were times I need to take a break from reading because it was so painful, but the storytelling keeps me coming back.

The foreshadowing! I believe foreshadowing is a tricky thing to pull off -- you need to give out little bits of clue without making it look like one, but it has to be significant enough that readers can pick it up. This series has some things foreshadowed, and I typically react in two ways: a smug "I knew it!" or a gasp of "oh shit, how did I not put two and two together?". Very satisfying either way.

The POV. This series use 1st-person POV, so Alina told her story to us (I did this and that), with the exceptions of first and last chapters of each books that use 3rd-person POV (she did this and that). I personally prefer stories with 3rd-person POV, though I understand why the author write it this way. The story was about Alina, and always about Alina, even with wars and terrors that surround her. The main conflict was always "man versus self", even when shits are going down in the entire world.

The conflict. AAAAAAAH I was so torn about this. Like I said, it was mainly about Alina and her inner self. I don't really dig it, though, because BABE, YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR, PLEASE CONCENTRATE ON SURVIVING?? Her character growth is not the battle-hardened track, and she keeps the soft, crybaby side of her to the end. And I'm not saying "crybaby" as a negative traits here, but a lot of problems stemmed from her personality, that much is true and is exasperating. I guess if we really consider Alina's circumstances, it makes sense. However, I'm only human and I get frustrated at her sometimes. BUT, she was a teenager in here, and I think it's to be expected somewhat. You can't put a teenager into a warzone and expect them to do everything perfectly, you know? That's why I'm conflicted. In the end, I just like a meaner main character I guess, and this book doesn't scratch that itch for me.

The characters' dynamic. As I said, Alina wasn't a battle-hardened type of person. However she has a way of building relationship and loyalty with others, and they support her where she needed. It's kinda sad because, well, they were trying to support each other with various ways and various degree of success, but they were just KIDS. Where are the ADULTS, goddamit? But I do like how not everyone is buddy-buddy, not everyone is close to everyone, and different pairs of characters have different feel and lingos to it. It's a great found family trope with realistic relationships.

The ending!!!!! You read the POV part above right? About how the stories was in 1st-person POV, except the first and last chapters? That's precisely where the problem is for me! After so many emotionally driven recounting from Alina, the ending was of strangers observing her and her love interest. At least make her tell us how she felt now that everything is over???? Again, I understand why the author did this (but I can't tell you because it would be a spoiler), and it also has a bit of foreshadowing, so I shouldn't be surprised, buuuut I still made that *surprised pikachu face* when reading the end. Actually, scratch that and make it a *scandalized pikachu face*. I just feel like the ending doesn't give me the closure I want, and I was a bit taken aback and gutted when the story ends. It felt like... "that's it? you gotta be kidding me". If you consider the entire story, though, the ending fits really well. It's just not for everyone.

This is longer than I expected but that's it! I think this series is good if you want to consider the writing skill of the author, but not really if you just want a story and an escape to fantasy world. Both are valid.

Reminder that my review is just an opinion, and what suits my taste (or not) might be different from what suits your taste. I recommend reading the books for yourself and find out if the stories is to your liking!

Until the next review, then.

#book review #shadow and bone #book recs #chosen one #friends to lovers #slowburn #right person wrong time #found family #us against the world #fantasy book #YA book #alina starkov #malyen oretsev

[a-sleepy-reader]

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo: an Analysis and Review

Foreword

If you want a review free of spoilers, please scroll to the section labelled ‘Conclusion/Review without spoilers.’

Introduction

Few modern novels have been as celebrated in the mainstream media as Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist. It has been praised by Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, and Kenzaburo Oe, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature. 

“The story has the comic charm, dramatic tension, and psychological intensity of a fairy tale, but it’s full of specific wisdom as well… a sweetly exotic tale for young and old alike.”

-Publisher’s Weekly

The Alchemist has the tone of a children’s book and the genre of a fable taking place centuries ago, with wisdoms claimed to be as old as its setting. So, does The Alchemist deliver on these high hopes?

Plot synopsis

Santiago seems disheartened by his life as a Shepherd boy in Spain before he meets a wise and likely supernatural king. The king tells Santiago that he must follow his personal legend(life purpose), which is to travel to the Egyptian pyramids in search of treasure. Santiago has dreamt of the pyramids and treasure before and takes this as affirmation that traveling to such a place is his life purpose. The shepherd boy sells his sheep and takes to selling crystals for money before he sets out on his journey and encounters The Englishman. He is an alchemist looking for the wisest practicer in his field, promptly titled ‘The Alchemist.’ The two set out on camels and stop at an oasis, where Santiago instantly falls in love with a woman named Fatima. The Englishman also manages to find his coveted alchemist, who shares many wisdoms with the two, for example, that, in this world, the language of the world is the spiritual communication of all beings, such as omens and body language. The Alchemist urges Santiago to follow his personal legend despite his bond to Fatima and, by proxy, the oasis. Though torn between staying with his love and realizing his personal legend, he sets out to the pyramids with The Alchemist. In the midst of their journey, however, Arabian soldiers capture them; Santiago is only spared his life by The Alchemist convincing the soldiers that Santiago will turn into wind. Santiago is able to communicate with the desert and summons a sandstorm that makes the soldiers let him go. At the pyramids, he is informed of a stranger's dream and personal legend, one of treasure waiting in Spain where Santiago began his journey. Realizing his treasure really required an appreciation not of a place but of given circumstances, Santiago plans to obtain his treasure and return to Fatima. 

Analysis

Coehlo says he is a catholic despite the fact that some of his beliefs do not align with traditional Catholicism. Many of his stances resemble that of spiritualism, such as a belief in omens, existentialism, and prophetic dreams. This explains many of The Alchemist’s themes, being as focused on personal legends and omens as it is. The Alchemist has many morals beyond very individualistic beliefs, however, such as faith in true love and soulmates, of a God, the purpose of life laying not in physical progress but in spiritual acceptance, and a disapproval of those too scared to pursue what they want, amongst others. Overall, however, I believe the book’s message can be boiled-down to ‘learn the language of the universe,’ that is, learn to interact with the spiritual world Coehlo believes in through means of personal legends and communicating with the world through omens.

Review

At first glance, The Alchemist looks like a simply-written yet sophisticated book; it has an understandable plot and writing style yet many morals, so who’s to say that it’s incomparable to works like The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint Exupery(I will be using that comparison often in this review)? Well, I think The Alchemist has the bones of an extraordinary fable like Exupery’s, but its meat is lacking. That is, I believe The Alchemist is a chaotic and underdeveloped mess of a book, The Little Prince but if it were written in a day or two. It had potential that was squandered by the lack of thought put into essential parts of storytelling, from its morals to its writing to its characters and tension. Let’s begin respectively. 

The Alchemist has few qualms with throwing an idea at the reader and presenting it as a conclusion rather than a speculation or the beginning of a well-developed theory for the reader to elaborate on themselves. For example, omens are integral to The Alchemist, and since the novel is advertised as a sort of self-help book with a plot, one would expect Coehlo to try and tie this idea in to the real world somehow or at least provide some reasoning for why he believes this aside from omens only obvious in The Alchemist. No such evidence or support is provided; omens are obviously present in The Alchemist but their validity relies on the nature of their being in the book unfounded or more difficult to find in the real world, and Coehlo never even explains why he believes in omens, so it’s a setup for nothing. This is a common theme throughout The Alchemist, from its support of personal legends to prophetic dreams to love at first sight to the language of the universe, Coehlo relies on the sheer obviousness of the world he made to get his points across and loses their potential support in the process. This harm’s the book’s philosophies regardless of whether they are accurate or not. 

Adding to the novel’s problems, the writing itself(that is, the English translation) is not very good. Now, I want to make something clear: a book doesn’t need to be Nabokovian to have good writing. One can use very common words and simple sentence structures and be better writers than the greats if they write wisely and make the most of its simplicity. The Little Prince has a simple writing style, but it flows with believable dialogue, clever metaphors, and good pacing. Compare those qualities to this excerpt from The Alchemist: 

“The first day passed. There was a major battle nearby, and a number of wounded were brought back to the camp. The dead soldiers were replaced by others, and life went on. Death doesn’t change anything, the boy thought.”

This paragraph is clunky. Sentences that could have led from one to the next in a steady, effortless rhythm instead clash and seem to be thrown together to form a mix of disconnected and boring facts. This could have been written so much more interestingly; does Santiago feel bad for the soldiers? Does he feel guilty for not helping with the battle? What did the wounded look like? How does he feel? A running problem in The Alchemist is how emotionally barren it is. True, I still would have grilled Coehlo if he wrote ‘Santiago is sad,’ but that is because the point could have been gotten across more subtly and believably: ‘The metallic stench of blood weighed on Santiago,’ for example. Expanding on this, let’s see what happens when I add my personal interpretation of how this paragraph could have been more fluent and emotionally powerful;

“The soldiers fought through the day and through the night, only that and the growing stench marking the time. A time-marker of blood, of hope, of death, of the many qualities of the people in the oasis, shattered to sand. Once those grains were gone, more rushed to the battlefield, sandstorm after sandstorm, life after life, gone. In the end, though, it changed nothing. Blood, hope, and death never really do.” 

By no means do I think this is perfect, but I think it goes to show a sliver of how much can be accomplished with relatively simple writing styles; they do not have to be clunky, they do not have to be bland, and they can get a point across and convey emotion at the same time. 

Then again, even if Coehlo’s prose was Nabokovian, this would not erase the blandness, homogeneity and monotony of his characters. Now, I found Santiago’s personality to be enjoyable enough; Coehlo represented his longing for something beyond the fields of Andalusia, his metaphorical mind as well as his determination yet uncertainty in life well enough. I have no problem with Santiago, but it would be very nice if every character in the book weren’t Santiago. What character doesn’t believe in the universal language? Who ever challenges Santiago’s certainties? When is Santiago not only mistaken in the way he goes about pursuing his personal legend but in an integral part of his worldview? I will summarize all three with these words; ‘noone,’ ‘never,’ and, ‘never - again!’ Everyone in this book nods along to Santiago’s beliefs; if the universal language is so rare, why does everyone agree on it? The characters feel less like individuals and more like fourth-wall breaks for Coehlo to dump yet another underdeveloped idea on the reader or pat himself on the back about how everyone in a fictional world he made agrees with him. Maybe if one or two characters opposed Santiago’s beliefs, made him question, realign or maybe even change his worldview, The Alchemist would feel more like the philosophical contemplation it was marketed as and less like a spiritualist self-help book with a plot. Instead, however, Santiago accomplishes his personal legend and has each of his beliefs solidified by every single character in the book. Where’s the internal struggle? Where’s the idea that things may not always be as they seem, that humans make mistakes? Such themes are forgotten in the world of The Alchemist.

I give The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo a 30%. 

Conclusion/Review without spoilers

I had a rough time with this book. The wise, helpful, and insightful self-help it was sold as did not deliver on any of those qualities for me due to its portrayal of very subjective values as universal truths without any evidence or reasoning provided for them outside the universe of the book and poor writing. Despite all this, I understand how this book has helped many, especially those who already had beliefs similar to Coehlo’s. Beyond my relentless criticisms, The Alchemist is a hopeful fable of finding your purpose in the world. It may not have connected to me, but it is no coincidence that celebrities call it a favorite, that it’s a bestseller, and is beloved amongst many. This review evaluated The Alchemist’s objective value, to which I say that it is bad literature. Subjectively, though, it impacted so many people, it motivated, it inspired, and no matter how many bland characters, lazy writings and oversimplified answers it may have, I will forever admire The Alchemist for touching so many people. After all, what is literature but a communication of one’s self, of sharing that self with others for them to internalise and keep a personalised fragment of this person within them?

I recommend The Alchemist to those in need of a meaning in life, who don’t want to wade through dense prose and complex stories or characters. Sometimes, all we really need, all we really should have, is something that keeps us going in life. I’m sure The Alchemist will fulfil that for many, and for that, I am forever grateful.

#books #the alchemist #book review #paulo coelho

[yet-another-saberface]

Story Headcanons: Orleans (Prelude - Section 2)

This was actually very interesting for me to write, since as I went on, I found more and more that it felt natural for Eva to be passive. At first I wasn’t sure why this felt so right, until I realized that I was having Eva dissociate herself from the present circumstances. While this isn’t a fic - so you don’t really have access to every thought going through her head, I hope that that comes across in this, even though I don’t have much personal experience with dissociation caused by past trauma.

That said, this is a relatively slow start a singularity, but I hope you guys enjoy it! I got it done a lot faster than expected, but I can’t say for sure when the next part will be done... Let’s just get to it!

Prelude

We should all be thankful that it is Fou who has taken it upon itself to wake Eva up, because if it was literally anyone else, she would likely be having a minor panic attack once again. After all, dreaming of evil Servants and people being burned alive is… Unnerving, to say the least. But she wakes up to Fou, meaning that Eva immediately tucks every disturbing theory about that dream away for later in favor of thinking about how damn adorable Fou is.

When Mash comes in, she’s surprised that Eva says she slept really well. While that’s not entirely true, since Eva was having to put up with what she’s classified for the moment as nightmares, she did go to sleep and wake up at reasonable hours for once, which is unusual. When Mash remarks that she’s glad Eva is finally getting sleep, Eva merely responds by saying that anyone with half a brain would sleep the night before they’re supposed to time travel to save the world.

Unlike many other times Eva’s had to sit through explanations, she pays extremely close attention to the entire briefing, wanting to make sure she doesn’t miss a word. She may be a theory expert, and she may have interrogated everyone she could about how Chaldea’s systems work, but there’s still room for her to screw everything up. Lucky for her, the rules around travelling to the singularities are a lot looser than normal rules for time travel that have been proposed in theory - this is because singularities will dissipate after you take away the source, which in this case is the Grail. Knowing that, Eva takes that as a permit to do whatever the hell she needs to so long as she gets the Grail out, which takes quite a bit of weight off her shoulders. Now she doesn’t have to worry about accidentally killing someone that needed to live in order for all of human history to proceed as normal.

She’s a bit concerned at the prospect of having to summon within the singularity - since there might not be catalysts, and she might be forced to do a normal summoning again - but she’s assured that if the summoning circle is properly established, she should be able to tap into the FATE system as smoothly as she does at Chaldea. Upon learning this, that concern promptly vanishes. Eva returns to being all determination.

We’re actually going to assume that Eva had been introduced to Da Vinci before this moment, since on our timeline it’s been at least a week or two in between singularities, and Eva spent a good few days of that time in the command room, not sleeping. There’s no way she hasn’t met Da Vinci yet. She accepted Da Vinci’s physical appearance really quickly, especially after hearing the reasoning behind it. To her, it makes perfect sense that a Heroic Spirit, given the chance, would choose their ideal appearance as their form when summoned. Also, for our purposes, we will be using female pronouns for Da Vinci. (I reblogged a post about trans characters in Fate recently that offers a basic explanation of why I will stay firm in this decision.)

She’s very grateful to actually have a coffin for rayshifting this time, to say the least. The last thing she wants is for there to be a mishap and for her to die in the process. So she hops in there without hesitation and and rayshifts away to save humanity.

Section 1: Land of the Hundred Years’ War

This time, Eva’s reaction upon safely rayshifting is not to panic. She’s once again glad to find that Fou tagged along - even if it means having one more life to protect along the way. And she’s very grateful that it appears they’ve landed in a very peaceful area this time - the seemingly endless rolling fields is a welcome change from everything being on fire. It doesn’t hurt to breathe, the breeze makes sure that the sunlight won’t cause her to overheat, the sky is gorgeou- The sky.

And… There’s a big ring of light in the sky. That’s not normal. However, without concrete proof on what it is, she can’t even begin to try to trace it back to anything she already knows about. Even Roman admits that he doesn’t have any real idea, which isn’t very helpful.

There it is again. She’s forgetting something. If she could just remember it she’d know what’s going on. But she can’t remember… Why can’t she just remember?

She does her best to not focus on how annoying that is, snapping back to the moment as she and Mash begin the trek towards the nearest civilization… If there is any. Fortunately, they do run into what appear to be humans - French soldiers, to be exact. She’s glad that there are humans this time around, but still warns Mash about trying to interact with them at all. They don’t know what’s going on here yet. And they don’t exactly look like they’re of the era. There’s a fairly high chance that they won’t be able to negotiate.

Sure enough, they end up having to fight them. Eva is already sick of this. It clearly wasn’t that we aren’t speaking French. We should have just avoided them in the first place. I told you we should have just not tried to approach them…

Of course, she does make sure to check in with Mash after they get out of there, since every fight leaves both of them at risk of further injury. She was fortunate enough this time to not have to do anything that put her at risk… But the same can’t be said for Mash. Things seem to be okay, though.

Why the hell would they think following them is a good idea? They just fought them. That’s a horrible idea. But she’s also not in charge, so the least she can do is follow orders and try to mitigate potential damage.

Section 2: Chase the French Soldier

Upon reaching the fort, the sheer amount of injured immediately sends Eva’s mind into overdrive. The war is supposed to be having a respite at the moment. Yes, the possibility of there still being skirmishes is still there, as Mash points out, but this doesn’t look like the result of skirmishes. Skirmishes leave people with mostly minor injuries that’ll heal, at worst, in a month or two, given the time period. Maybe some people get major injuries. Skirmishes don’t leave a fort crippled like this. Skirmishes don’t put soldiers on such high alert that they attack the second there’s even a tiny chance of a possible threat. Yes, she and Mash look strange, but they weren’t displaying hostile behavior. If the war was truly in respite… Wait. What if the war isn’t in respite?

Lucky for them, the soldiers don’t attempt to attack this time around, and her theory is confirmed, be it while bringing in another complication. There was no peace treaty, and therefore no respite. But that’s because the king got killed by evil Jeanne d’Arc. While England having retreated is good - less enemies to deal with - she starts worrying very intensely upon hearing all of this. She knew history would be screwed with but this is more than that. This is history being warped so badly that it’s almost unrecognizable.

And then there’s another attack, seemingly out of nowhere. Great. At least they didn’t provoke this one. And oh great more skeletons look at that. Kill those, make sure everyone’s okay, done. How many times is she going to have to do this? At least fighting actual servants is well… Interesting. Dangerous, but it requires a lot more thought than just bashing piles of bones.

Eva is actually somewhat skeptic about the Jeanne situation. Her coming back from the dead is something she can believe, after all, Servants exist. But for her to come back and actively attack France? That just doesn’t seem right. Heroic Spirits record heroes at their best, or what they’re remembered for. Jeanne is remembered as a saint, as a savior of France. It doesn’t add up. And then there’s the change in physical appearance the soldier mentions…  It could be linked back to it, but it could also be a dead giveaway that this isn’t actually Jeanne, but rather someone posing as Jeanne. Or Jeanne was corrupted in some way, like what happened in Fuyuki. But the circumstances here seem very different, so that’s less likely.

It doesn’t matter what the truth is, all of those are bad, and they need to save France regardless of which it turns out to be.

And then there’s the wyverns. Those… Should not be there. So let’s make them not there. At least they aren’t skeletons. Of course… They fly. That’ll make things difficult. But she can manage-

And oh great another person showed up. Not a person. A Servant. On their side. Well that certainly happened faster than last time. The stress Eva’s was feeling dies down a little at the prospect of more allies. This is a bad situation, but at least something good has happened.

And then the fight actually starts. It’s… Surprisingly short. Between the soldiers, Mash, and the other Servant, she barely has to do anything other than give orders and heal the wounds afterwards. She doesn’t know how to feel about that. Either those wyverns weren’t all they were cracked up to be, or Mash is just stronger and better prepared than she was in Fuyuki. She’d like to think it’s the second option.

Mash gets her to genuinely giggle with the mention of attacking Roman as revenge for the sweets. It’s funny to think about but well… Probably not the best idea. She might laugh, but she’ll also be sure to tell Mash that she doesn’t think it’s necessary. Of course, if Mash wants to take it upon herself… She’s free to do so, provided she doesn’t kill Chaldea’s director.

And look at that it’s Jeanne. At this point Eva really doesn’t feel like she’s… You know. There. She feels like her body is there, but mentally, she’s not. She’s not back at Chaldea either. She’s not back in the normal world. Her mind is just… Observing. It all feels foggy, like she’s drifting in a void, and just going along with what other people say because she doesn’t feel like fighting back. She doesn’t feel like being there. The last time she was there, she got hurt. The last time she really fought, it only made things worse. There’s no harm to going with Jeanne. She doesn’t seem hostile right now. It’s the only lead they have.

We’ve got tags!

@contractgreen @panyum @withanina @campanulabell @delfinaschiffer @princessaslan @armageddon25 @patproductions @xviicprc @eldritch-flowers @rankeluck @areeta9 @bitter–edge @uncommoncritter @blackcherrybombbomb @bluefiren7 @dtgvxg​ @velkiibo​

#fgo #fate grand order #mastersona #gudasona #my writing #f/go #fate go #fate/grand order #fate/go #oc #fgo oc #Eva #mashu kyrielite #headcanons #story mode hcs #orleans #first singularity #things can only get worse from here #she's already dissociating #what will happen next #tune in next time to find out

[bogariel-frogariel]

A Wish for a Better World Part 4: On the High Seas

We are now almost at 15,000 words and still going strong.

Here is the ao3 link https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747657/chapters/62735095

I appreciate all the comments

------

One and a half weeks after that night, Ruby and Jet stood side by side at the stern of the ship as they watched Castle Candy disappear down the river. They're pinkies were linked and Ruby could feel the contented hum of the locked on her chest.

 They only stepped back when the tallest tip of Castle had faded into the background.

 Theo and Lapin were both waiting for them on the deck, though they were both eyeing each other with barely concealed glares. They were so distracted that Ruby and Jet could have slipped away if they were so inclined. But, they stood there in front of them, waiting to be noticed.

Theo straightened when he saw them, his head whipping around to stare at them.

 "Oh, princesses, good."

 He cleared his throat before he launched into his lecture, "Now your mother has given firm instructions about your education. She has created a strict timetable for you both to follow on your journey."

 Both Jet and Ruby nodded at this.

 "Sure Theo."

 "Yes, Sir Theo."

 Theo immediately frowned at them. "Truly? You're not missing with me?"

 Ruby and Jet glanced at each other before they looked forward.

 "Well, you and Mum are always talking about responsibility and how we need to take our lessons more seriously, especially since we're almost adults now," Jet explained. "We want to be able to help our sister when she takes the throne."

 "Besides, there's not really anywhere for us to escape to on this ship," Ruby cut in. "Not many places for us to hide."

 "Not that we would dare," Jet interjected. "I know I need to take lessons if I'm going to be the best general in Calorum. And Ruby needs to learn to be the… uh…"

 "A good advisor," Ruby finished. "And a faithful Bublian."

  Lapin nodded. "Of course, Princess, and I will guide you through your spiritual journey."

 Ruby inclined her head at him respectfully.

 Theo cleared his throat again. "Yes, well, whilst your mother has mandated eight hours of lessons for each of you, she has also given her permission for an additional two hour lesson in combat before dinner should you choose to accept it."

 Jet perked up and Ruby couldn't stop the giddy grin from splitting across her face as her sister's hand found hers and they locked pinkies.

 "Yes!" Jet burst out before she cleared her throat. "We will accept, Theo."

 Theo smiled at them as he gave a nod. "Good. Why don't you both settle into your room? You will be having a busy journey."

 Jet and Ruby gave a synchronised nod and walked off to unpack their things.

 ----

 Later that night, Ruby found herself leaning against the railing of the Starboard side of the deck.

 Jet had managed to wheedle Theo into showing her the weapons he had brought for them to use

 Ruby took one of the small knives from Sapphria's set of daggers and fiddled with it, not scared of dropping over board, as she had discovered that it would just be summoned back to her hand if she wanted it to be.

 Her father glanced down and froze at the sight of the black sugarsteel. The larger had a light blue blade but the same ornate black hilt forged in the shape of a dragon with glittering multicoloured candy stones peppered across its back, shining blue and purple and silver and gold when the light hit them.

 "Is that what I think it is."

 Ruby nodded, still twirling the dagger through her fingers.

 "Where did you get it?"

 "I found the set hidden in the Castle."

 Her dad nodded. "Another vision?"

 Ruby grimaced. "Not exactly."

 She hadn't fully explained her shadows to anyone but Lapin. Her father didn't understand the technicalities and philosophies of magic anyway and Ruby didn't want to force her mother to speak of a secret that she carefully guarded, she'd manipulated her mother enough just to get her to organise this trip.

 "You could be a great ruler," Ruby murmured, looking out at the sea. "I have seen it."

 She had. Her father had been a great Emperor, when he had finally started working with his wife, they had presented a formidable and terrifyingly efficient unit.

 Her father looked down, his shoulders slumping. "I was never meant to rule."

 "You may not have ever expected it," Ruby conceded. "But you… Candia cannot live in the shadows of our aunts forever."

 King Amethar bowed his head, sighing deeply. "I never asked for this responsibility."

 "It’s not fair," Ruby whispered and her father went rigid, obviously remembering the exchange he had had with his father long ago, where Kind Jedain had said similar things. Her father had told her of the interaction, and the night before, she had seen it in her dreams, right before she saw a vision of her father standing at the throne, her mother and sisters standing at his side, strong and proud and good.

 Ruby slipped the dagger back beneath her sleeve, putting one of her hands on his arm. Her father turned to look at her.  

"You're the king, Pops," Ruby murmured. "So you gotta be the king."

 Her father closed his eyes. "I was always more of a war guy."

 Ruby gave a small smile. "You can be more than one thing, Dad."

 Her father reached out and grasped Ruby's shoulder. "I think you might be right… Those visions have changed haven't they."

 Ruby shrugged, and whispered, "It's better this way."

 Her dad's hand tightened. "Just… don't get lost in them, okay? In those last days, Laz could barely recognise us. She couldn't keep track of what was real. Don't forget to live in the present."

 Ruby swallowed and nodded. "But I… we cannot forget what we must do."

 "We must not trust Cruller," she said into his head.

 Her father nodded. After much discussing, Ruby, Jet and her parents had decided to take the cake with them. It would be best if they could keep an eye on him, and he could be cut off from all but the two men he had taken with him. Back at Castle Candy, Ruby's mother could quietly spread the Muffinfield soldiers throughout the realm, and Ruby's small network of spies, which she'd quickly built in both Dulcington and the castle, about half of them sleeper agents that Sapphria had left, though the other half were those she had recruited through her own skills and persuasion.

 She had spent the most experienced them off the Muffinfield to try and find any evidence they could against the Marquiesse.

 "I will keep an eye on him," her father sent back.

 "We can trust Theo. All the knights are loyal to Candia above all else."

 "What of Lapin?" her father asked out loud.

 Ruby frowned, thinking for a few seconds before she answered, "He is a good man."

 Her father looked at her for a few seconds, and then nodded. He leant forward and enveloped her in a hug. "We won't… I won't forget my purpose, Ruby."

 He pulled away and took a step back towards the cabins. "You have given me a lot to think of… about my place and my actions."

 Ruby nodded. "Right, good. I'm glad."

 Her father smiled sweetly at her. "I love you, Ruby. Don't go to bed too late."

 "Night, Pops."

 As the ship changed to the night shift, Ruby settled onto one of the steps between the stern and the main deck, her personal copy of the Book of Leaves resting on her lap, and a small notepad in her palm as she skimmed through the religious tome. She had started rereading it, noting passages for her to memorise. It was interesting that nothing in the Book was actually really incorrect. It never personified the Bulb, and it never stated that the Bulb wanted its followers to act a certain way, only that it was a power of creation. Whatever group had written it had included the tenets, against murder, against ceaseless violence and destruction, as suggestions on how to stay faithful to its nature.

 Everything else that was accepted and 'known' about the Bulb was just bureaucracy and invention.

 Her mind wandered to the conversation she had had with Citrina a few nights ago.

 "My faith was never strained by the presence of my sisters," the yellow woman had proclaimed. "Despite the Church's rulings, nothing in the Book says that the Bulb is the only thing one can worship. In fact, the Book of Leaves preaches acceptance in all aspects of life."

 The woman had sighed.

 "The Church has strayed from its roots, from the faith. It has been tainted by betrayal and politics and greed," she spat the last word.

 Citrina broke off, taking a breath before she continued, "I thought I could fix the Church from the inside. I truly believed I could…"

 Ruby had waited for a few moments before she murmured, "For the record, I agree. The faith, at its core, is largely good. Like the Sweetening Path and the Great Beasts, but I do not see a way to fix it peacefully. The corruption is too deep."

 Citrina smiled sadly. "Very insightful, my child. I regret the pain you had to go through to learn those lessons, and I regret that I did not learn that lesson when I was alive."

 Cruller broke Ruby from her thoughts when he sat beside her. It took all of Ruby's skills in acting to not tense.

 "Princess," the man greeted.

 "Calroy," Ruby said, carving a smile onto her face.

 "What? No Lord Cruller from the next saint."

 Ruby barked a laugh. "I think we're past formalities, Calroy. And I don't intend to be as devoted as my aunt. The Bulbb has willed me to watch over Candia and guard its purity. The Church has enough Primogens."

 Cruller grinned. "That is a relief to here, Ruby. I would sorely miss you if you whisked away to Comida and Brightgarden."

 "You won't have to worry about that, Calroy," Ruby replied, feeling her skin crawl. "I intend to keep an eye on Candia for a long while."

 Calroy nodded. "And Candia will be all the better for it."

 He opened his mouth to ask a question, and Ruby knew he would begin interrogating her about her father. Jet and her dad had done admirable jobs but hadn't quite hidden their changed attitudes well enough to fool Cruller. Ruby would need to move quickly.

 However, before he could speak, the door that lead to the cabins banged open and Jet's voice floated over the side of the staircase.

 "Ruby! Theo wants us to go to bed. Come on, I don't want to annoy him. I really want him to teach us combat tomorrow."

 Ruby stood, smiling apologetically at Calroy. "I should get going. Dad and Jet have been super on edge lately about me. I think they're worried cause Aunt Citrina died so mysteriously. They don't want anything to happen to me."

 When the door to the cabins closed, Ruby slipped one of the two hand mirrors she carried on her at all times to one of her shadows.

 ----

 Theo looked around for Ruby. With ten minutes until the start of their first combat lesson, Jet was already hovering around the rack of weapons that Theo had dragged onto the deck, but the younger one was nowhere to be seen.

 Theo had seen Ruby stride out of the cabins half an hour ago and toss Lapin a book, telling him something in Bulbosi that Theo hadn’t understood before she had disappeared.

 Theo couldn't say what had possessed him to look up, but when he did, what he saw had his heart skipping a beat.

 "Princess Ruby get down from there!" he yelled at the girl who was doing cartwheels along the top of one of the sails.

 The girl paused and looked down at him, smiling brightly. For a few seconds, she looked like the girl that Theo had known a week ago, not the stranger that had replaced her.

 "Why, of course, Sir Theo," she proclaimed, and then jumped off the sail.

 Theo's stomach dropped as the girl fell before she caught a rope, swinging down in a graceful ark before she landed gently next to Theo, only stumbling slightly.

 Theo clutched at his heart. "Princess, never do that again! You could get hurt!"

 Ruby straightened her closed and raised her chin imperiously, even as she failed to smooth the giddy smile from her face.

 "The Bulb has blessed me with miracles that will help me if I slip, but I won't."

 Theo's eyes widened and he glanced at the Chancellor, who had taken over the Princess's private lessons whilst Theo gave Jet extra lessons in courtly manners and politics for two hours on top of the one and a half hours that Queen Caramelinda had allotted to both the girls every day, classes that were also overseen by Theo.

 The fucking chocolate bunny didn't do anything but shrug.

 "I'm sure that would be a grievous misuse of your blessings," Theo lectured.

 Ruby glanced to the bunny. "Chancellor, what do you think as a fellow miracle worker?"

 The bunny inclined his head. "I would advise humility with your miracles, Princess. However, the Bulb has blessed you and thus I trust that you know when it is appropriate to make use of those gifts."

 Ruby's smile was more restrained and respectful as she nodded. "Of course, Chancellor Lapin."

 Theo shot a glare at the bunny before he turned to both girls, clapping his hands together.

 "Okay, why don't we get going with this lesson."

 To be honest, Theo had thought that the King would be leading this class. However, he had allowed Theo to carry out this duty, wearing glasses of all things as he hunched over a book, some documents beside him. Theo had always thought that the King was illiterate.

 Teaching the princesses combat was honestly a pleasure. They were both naturals and applied themselves more stringently to these lessons than any other.

 As Theo had suspected, Jet was razor fast and brutally strong, the magic of Candia manifesting within her as unnatural reflexes similar to those of the eldest Rocks sister and Jet's own father. Ruby, however, surprised Theo. She had always been the more gentle of the two. Where Jet was loud and scrappy, Ruby was quick and light-footed. Those differences were still reflected in their fighting styles but there was a deadly edge to Ruby's movements, an efficiency and accuracy to her attacks that one so young should not have.

 It was perplexing to say the least, and Theo got his chance to address it later that very day, when he saw Ruby sitting on the deck, reading under torchlight as the day crew got ready for bed and the night crew began to work.

 Her head jerked up as he approached, snapping the book shit and tucking it into her chest, underneath the thick cloak she wore to take the bite off the cool sea breeze.

 "Sir Theo," she greeted and something inside Theo, that had been straining for the last few weeks, snapped.

 "What did I do to earn that title?"

 Ruby frowned. "Excuse me?"

 "Since when do you call me Sir Theo? You have not used my title since you were six years old, Princess."

 Ruby's eyes widened. "I thought that you would appreciate the respect. You deserve it."

 Theo stared down at the little girl that he had known all her life. He could no longer read her.

 "We both know you are lying to me, Princess," Theo said. "Please tell me what crime I have committed against you and I will do my best to make amends."

 Ruby shook her head, blinking rapidly. "No, The-Sir Theo. You've been great."

 "Then what is it?"

 Ruby dropped her eyes, her lips twitching downwards.

 "You will love Saccharina," she whispered.

 Theo furrowed his eyebrows. "Pardon?"

 "Saccharina," Ruby clarified, her voice a little stronger. "She will be everything you dreamed of serving. You will love her more than you could my father. You will be happy serving her."

 Theo jerked his head back. "Princess, I have devoted my life to your family. I serve your family."

 "But you wanted to serve Lazuli," Ruby countered. "Saccharina will be the one to bring about my aunt's vision and so much more. You won't need to resent us any longer."

 Theo gaped. "I don't-"

 "I know you love Jet. She's the bravest warrior and the most noble fighter you will ever find. But how can you not look at the rest of us and feel all you have lost every time? I do not blame you. I know that the Rocks family can trust you."

 Theo stammered for a few seconds, his mind not quite able to fathom everything that Ruby had just said. "I love you as well, princess."

 Ruby quirked her lips up and gave a nod. "Of course you do, Theo. I don't doubt that."

 "With respect, it sounds like you do, Princess."

 Ruby smiled that winning, perfect smile she had started wearing like armour and stood up. "Whatever hope for Candia's future you think you see in me, Saccharina will surpass it tenfold. She is truly someone worthy of being loyal to."

 She dropped her hands, causing the book to fall into the light, and Theo instantly recognised it as one of Lazuli's. He was very familiar with that particular lavender cover. A few dozen things clicked into place in that second and he banished the hurt at Ruby not telling him of the truth of her gifts. He had never shown her that it would be safe to tell him of her magic.

 Theo called for his familiar to jump into his hand through the bond.

 "I summoned Sprinkle to me with a spell. I could teach it to you, if you want?"

 Ruby hesitated, blinking rapidly as she quickly tucked the book back beneath her cloak.

 Finally, she whispered, "Yes."

 -----

 Ruby swallowed nervously as she stood on the prow of the ship, Theo beside her. He had pointed out the techniques and words she would need to use to her the night before, and then had woken her just before dawn so that he could help her cast the spell. Ruby had liked pretending to learn it from him.

 She had delayed recasting the spell until now, afraid what it would do to her when Yak didn't come back to her. For she knew she was too changed now to summon her beloved butterscotch falcon.

 However, with Theo's warm urging from beside her, and Jet's quiet cheering from a few paces behind them, she reached inside her drawing a strand of her won magic and throwing it out into the universe as she cast the spell. She waited as she felt the magic shift around her, roiling in a storm before it split into three distinct parts. She felt them solidify rapidly and stepped back in shock at the sight that materialised before her.

 Flying out of the distance, the rising sun at his back, was Yak, his feathers a more rich gold than they had had been in the future, but his presence still undeniable. However, at the same time, a black snake slithered out of the shadows behind her and a sleek violet cat materialised right beside her, slinking around her in a sort of dance.

 As the three approached her, they all melded, Yak swooping low as the snake and the cat jumped at him, all of them mixing, the image before her shifting between all three bodies before the cat leapt into her arms, quickly shifting to Yak a moment later as he jumped up to her shoulders before Ruby felt it change again and slither down her arms.

 Ruby blinked, lost for words.

 "What that supposed to happen?" Jet asked.

 Theo stared at the familiar as it shifted back to a cat, snuggling itself into Ruby's chest as she hugged it - no her, this form was a girl - closer.

 "I do not know," Theo murmured. "But it seems to have been successful."

 Ruby grinned, feeling something fill a hole in her chest that she hadn't even known was there.

 "I love them."

 She turned around and hugged Theo, the knight going stiff under her arms.

 "Thank you, Theo."

 Slowly, the gummy bear reached up to return the embrace. "You're welcome, Ruby."

----

How did you guys like it? Feel free to send me questions if you want. Also, yay! We’ll be seeing Saccharina next chapter.

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #acoc spoilers #a crown of candy fanfiction #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fanfiction #A Wish for a Better World #my fics #Ruby Rocks #Amethar Rocks #sir theobald gumbar #lapin cadbury #acoc #d20 acoc #d20

[coe-lilium]

Fate’s Avenger Amakusa Masuda Shirou Tokisada from FGO EoR III. 

Shimosa just passed its 2nd Jp birthday, has finally debuted in NA and my pipe dream of getting him as playable Servant is still a pipe dream, so to hell with it,  I made him sprite and profile myself. 

Hopefully I’ve managed to get the tone of official FGO profiles right. 

Warning: there are some brief spoilers for Arc 2

PROFILE

A nearly 40 years old Amakusa who survived the siege of Hara and lost himself to grief and hate to the point of resembling a vengeful ghost long before his death.  

Discrete as a swordsman, but experienced and lethal as a mage; a jaded person who looks younger than his age but behaves like he’s older.

The years of his life between Hara and the events occurred in the Shimosa pseudo parallel world are shrouded in mystery.

Height/Weight: 180cm - 66kg                                                                    Source: Historical Fact / Alternative history                                                Region of Origin: Japan                                                                          Alignment: Chaotic Evil                                                                              Gender: Male    

A very different person to the Heroic Spirit previously summoned by Chaldea.

Bond 1

Up until he was 17 years old, his life went down exactly as his PanHuman history self.

However, as he was bleeding and about to die a man dressed in ridiculous clothing sprung from thin air, got rid of the shogunate soldiers and quietly offered him a clawed hand. 

After some time of feverish nightmares, Amakusa recovered enough from his injuries to witness Hara castle being razed from distance, too weak to stop it as he’d be to stop the mass executions that followed. His despair began turning into hate when heads were lined up by the thousands. 

Edo and the shogun’s family burned to ashes few years after 1639 thanks to his and Douman’s sorceries, dooming Amakusa original timeline to erasure and setting him on the travels that ended in Shimosa.                                                 

Upon his arrival in Chaldea and made to confront Ruler’s presence he renounced the Amakusa title and retook his family name of Masuda.   

Bond 2

«Amakusa Shirou» always possessed a decent number of magic circuits and the ability to wield any form of magecraft as long as he connected his circuits to a foundation, but usually his short life and the lack of magical education prevented him to become fully aware of his powers and reaching his potential as mage. 

As Masuda is an “Amakusa who got to live”, he also got the chance to hone that ability and learn to use many types of curses and offensive magics, in which he now specialise. Thanks to time, studies and the occasional guidance of Douman he became a cruel and skilled mage. 

Similar to his Ruler self, his arms have become a Noble Phantasm.      

Bond 3

The attempt at looking like Chaldea’s Amakusa employed in Shimosa discarded, Avenger now appears in his late twenties even if he was 37 years old at the time of his death. 

He learnt a technique or two for slowing the ageing process but as he refuse to look as if he didn’t survive 1638 or be confused with Ruler, he settled for a decade of difference from both. Outside the off-putting red sclera, his hair and skin color are those he was born with.  

His clothes are identical to Ruler’s but in colors and details, the main difference in their attire being Avenger’s armor. The one he wears was gifted to Yamada Emonsaku by the government in one of the first worlds Masuda and Douman visited. Avenger, who by then had mostly recovered and was furious, hunted down Emonsaku, killed him and took the traitor’s armor for himself. 

He could’ve washed the blood or scrubbed the crest away anytime but chose not to, for reasons he probably won’t be albe to fully explain.

Bond 4

The events of the pseudo parallel world of Shimosa were the culmination of twenty years of travels, machinations and despair that once again ended in failure thanks to Musashi, Senji Muramasa and the Master with which he has now begrudgingly formed a pact… let’s just say he’s far from having the warmest attitude or personality in Chaldea. 

Upon his death he was registered into the Throne as a distinct soul for obscure motives, perhaps even thanks to the machinations of a certain AlterEgo. 

Summoning this individual instead of the PanHuman history younger self when trying to call forth «Amakusa Shirou» would be near impossibile without Chaldea’s FATE system.

Bond 5

What all my nightmares are made of                                                          Rank: A                             Type: Anti-Army                                                                                           Range: 1~200 Maximum number of targets: 500 people Hell of Shimabara

A Reality Marble exclusive to this “Amakusa Shirou” alone. For a given time, reality is overwritten by the mental world of the caster. In Avenger’s case, the targets will find themselves in a hellish landscape were the terrain is made of ashes and dead bodies, the air a deadly poison filled with pained screams, fires rages and the burning, half-collapsed castle of Hara towers over its old and new victims.

Difficult to escape from, other than the obvious purpose of killing its targets it can serve as a momentary cage and torture device to those its owner knows able to survive it but wants delayed or trapped for any reason.

Tends to be more effective when employed against Heroes with Good alignment or receptive to the suffering of people.          

Right Arm, Path to Wickedness Left Arm, Foundation of Hell’s Curses Rank: C Type: Anti-Unit Range: 1 Maximum Targets: 1

His hands that have become Noble Phantasms. With them, he had caused ‘miracles’ to occur before the rebellion and with them he learned many ways to destroy his enemies after the siege. Able to connect to any magecraft foundation, they form a ‘key’ that allows him to wield any form of magecraft to various degrees, even those he has no understanding of. 

A rank higher than Ruler’s thanks to Avenger’s additional decades of magical education and training.

Miike Tenta Mitsuyo Rank: C+ Type: Anti-Unit Range: 1 Maximum Targets: 1

the sword Avenger carries, formerly of a "certain one-eyed master swordsman”. While a simple armament in the hands of PanHuman Amakusa, Masuda has spent years strengthening his own and embedding it with curses, which results in it current state of being surrounded by fire (that and the amusing reactions a blazing sword tends to have on a common soldier). 

Even if the powerful being who aided him in his revenge was never a devil, the blade gained some traits of genuine demonic swords thanks to its owner different conviction, a process not unlike the one that gave the Assyrian empress the Gardens even when she had no true connection with them.         

Not impressive as far as demonic swords go, but its wounds are poisoned and can pose a serious danger to saints or otherwise religious figures. 

CHARACTER

Personality

A calculating man who is no stranger to sudden fits of rage or detached silences and keeps to himself. Abrasive with allies as with enemies, he tries his best to actively push people away, not last because of familiarity with solitude and for finding crowds of people to be distressing. 

The smug but not malicious attitude of Chaldea’s Amakusa was probably part of Avenger’s personality too in the past, before it turned into the current viciousness and gratuitous cruelty in actions and remarks.

Glimpses of a empathic and thoughtful person buried under the rage can still be seen, albeit rarely, with young heroic spirits or those who have suffered a great deal unprepared. Like a Master freshly out their first destroyed, innocent alternative history.   

Not impossible to mellow out, but the process to gain anything more than detached tolerance would be a long one.

Motives and attitude

Aware of having being used as test for the Lostbelts plot by someone he thought an ally, he summoned himself to Chaldea out of spite and to return the betrayal with interests. He still resent the Master for what happened in Shimosa, but he posses intel Chaldea could use and he’ll provide it with glee. Somehow similar to the Count’s reasoning for appearing in the Time Temple, just less benign. 

Focused and effective in battle, it’s best not pair him with Servants who use firearms and cannons. The sound could bring his memories back to Hara and leave him in a state that could jeopardise the fight.        

The relationship with the Master is particularly sour and he’d rather spend his time holed up with Holmes and Sokaris sharing informations and discussing strategies and chances against the remaining Crypters than giving Guda some time or finding selected fellow Servants to relax with. 

Nonetheless, Guda persists.   

RELATIONS

Amakusa Shirou Tokisada (Ruler)

A nightmare for both.

Avenger is torn between resentment and envy for the boy with whom he shares family, people and the pain of seeing them slaughtered… and yet choose to protect humanity and -he believes- had it easier by not having to live with the guilt of being the sole survivor of the massacre.                                                   If one were to discuss Ruler’s plan for the Grail and how it’s hardly the wish a «not troubled» individual would make, Avenger would dismiss the attempt to have him see how alike they are saying «but he did not kill thousands, did he?». After some time, however, his resentment will mostly die down and he’ll be relieved to see how happier the kid seems to be in this strange new life.             

Ruler is horrified to face what could’ve become of him and tries not to see nor interact with Avenger in any way, up to avoid pointing out that by being incarnated for decades after a certain summon he knows all too well how it feels to live with survivor’s guilt. Nonetheless, after the initial shock has passed, he’ll sneak behind his older self back and asks for other Servants’ cooperation in not letting this mirror of his be alone.        

Ashiya Douman

The one who saved him from the siege and helped him bury his mother and sisters after the shogunate had them executed. An accomplice and manipulator at the same time, who nonetheless was the only familiar face and constant help he had in twenty years and his main teacher in magic. He doesn’t know if he wants to toss Douman into the sea for leaving him to die in Onriedo, leave him to other Servants tender mercies or…    Either way, he won’t push the AlterEgo away unless he’s in a terrible mood.  

After Douman joins Chaldea, half of Avenger’s time is spent keeping him from stirring trouble or from being murdered by the likes of Fuuma Kotaro or Asklepios and their roles of guardian-charge get inverted. A single action is completely forbidden to his old ally: going anywhere near Amakusa.  

Edmond Dantes

A strange man. What business could someone like him have with his Ruler self? And why would he pester him instead of leaving him alone or in Limbo’s company? Still, he doesn’t completely resent the attempts. They joined forces in physically throwing Douman away that time the AlterEgo had the disgraced idea to approach Ruler.        

Jeanne Alter Santa Lily

Much to Amakusa and the Jeanne sisters initial horror, Avenger has taken a liking to Lily, who reminds him of his younger sister Man. He tends to keep his distance but won’t send the young Lancer away if she were to approach first.     

Saint Martha

No matter how disillusioned with God Avenger has become, he has nothing but respect for the saint his mother was named after, especially after seeing that her moral fortitude and fighting prowess are paired with the personality of a punk brawler instead of the distant and composed lady he expected. When addressing her, he’ll use the most formal and respectful register.    

Japanese Heroic Spirits connected to the Tokugawa clan or government

For the well being of everyone in Chaldea, keep them separated. The same advise would apply to any eventual Dutch Heroic Spirit.  

Senji Muramasa and Shinmen Musashi

«Keep them the fuck away from me if you don’t want Chaldea to be covered in dead people’s ashes».  

Other Avengers

Initially fascinated by Angra Mainyu, he began keeping him at arms length once he learnt of Angra’s circumstances of innocent scapegoat on the grounds of «a victim shouldn’t be compared with a real mass murderer» and the frankly bizarre tendency of the boy to flirt with his younger self.                                        Displaying a detached tolerance for Jeanne Alter’s noisy personality, they once drew their weapons against each other the time Jeanne was worried for Lily but the matter was quickly settled and they were back to barely interacting.        He finds himself at ease in Gorgon and Hessian Lobo’s company and can be found napping in Lobo’s fur from time to time.  

Chaldea’s versions of Shimosa’s Swordmasters

No reaction except a smirk or a sad smile depending on the mood. Disappointed Chaldea’s Kojiro is a completely different person from the one he knew. Douman is fine, but sometimes more than one familiar face to hang out with wouldn’t hurt.

#fate grand order #fate series #fate og servant #kinda? #fan servant #for sure #avenger amakusa #coe does art #and writing

[convxction]

Flashback? hoh

Send “Flashback” to have your muse see one of my muse’s bad memories || @jasperlion                                    

                                                 ——

Who would have thought that Embla would resort to such a cruel spell like this one in their next battle? Reports came that the Askarian Soldiers are either attacking each other or hallucinating so badly that some of them faint. 

The Summoner dispatched a small unit to check the battlefield where the reports came from and do something about it, if possible. The unit was composed of Alm, Chrom, Caeda and Canas. They needed to travel fast and check what was going on. Allies attacking each other? That is not a good omen.

Once the unit arrived at the scene, it was clear something was a mess. Canas commented on something foul in the air, magic of some sort that is responsible for the mess they are seeing. The mage warned his companion to be extra careful when advancing because he is yet to know the source of this magic nor how to dispel it. Alm, Caeda and Chrom nodded to Canas and moved around to look for the source.

They decided to move in pairs to cover more ground. Alm and Chrom went to the west side to stop any Askarian fighting each other and Caeda and Canas to the west. 

Not only they have to fight Embla soldiers but also their own allies, it was tiring for the two swordsmen. Fortunately, the two got a minute to rest and think of their next plan. However, that peace was soon tumbled when an ominous purple circle surrounded the two, rapidly closing on them, even the mighty slashes of the holy swords–Falchions of both wielder, did not stop its advancing. The two kings found themselves trapped, back to back, because of this cursed spell.

Chrom’s protests were loud, calling for who is responsible for this cursed thing when Alm tried to squeeze himself out of this and he kept an eye around in case someone tried to sneak up on them.

Soon after, a mage emerged from the darkness, cloaked in nothing but darkness, nothing of their feature is visible. As if they were the darkness itself. They did not even talk, simply extended their arm towards the two and with a flick of their wrist, the cursed circle gave out a bzzt sound emitted before the two kings felt a surge of pain through their bodies. The pain Chrom felt similar to that of the thunder strike Robin dealt to him a while back but this pain is multiplied! Naga’s mercy, is this what it feels like to be struck by lightning because they feel every cell in their body yelping in pain.  

That mage got close to them, circling around as if they are inspecting them–enjoying their new toys in pain before he stopped in front of Chrom, index pushed against his forehead. Chrom, of course, struggled and cursed the mage but all of sudden his body went numb upon the touch and he felt his conscious slipping which made his head fall to the back, causing Alm to panic and squirm more but alas his efforts were fruitless.

What follows was the same fate to the Saint-Hero King. The two Kings were unconscious and very easy targets but the mage was enjoying this show. After all, they were testing this new spell, the spell to mess with one’s memory. What the mage did was simply…sharing part of Chrom’s memories to Alm–the bad ones for entertaining purposes. The worse memory it is, the better reactions out of all the victims. That aside, what memory is picked was random but in general, the bad ones.

Alm will soon find himself in a long corridor, maids running back and forth, a lot of screaming and yelling. The saint-king will find it odd that his vision is quite shorter than his normal height that is because he is seeing what four-years-old Chrom had seen. Suddenly, he will feel something grabs hold of his arm, yanking it to the back to make space for the maids to pass. When he looks up, he will see Frederick–very young Frederick. “Milord! Please, you mustn’t be here! Come with me back to your room!”

Even when Alm resides now in this body, he is only just viewing the memories; he cannot interact or change the course of anything happening.

“No! Mommy! Mommy is crying! Why is she crying??”

“Milord…remember? Lady Emmeryn told you that her majesty is going to bring you another sibling right?”

“But why she is crying??”

“Because the process is …not easy–Anyway, let’s go. You don’t want to make her majesty upset right? Nor Lady Emmeryn when she made sure to tell you to remain in your room, correct?” 

“…okay….”

It might seem like a good memory but the scenery changed rapidly to flung Alm a couple months later. He’s now ..in a big room and there is a beautiful lady resting in her bed who is smiling ever softly at him. “Mommy?” Ah..his mother? That’s his mother? Ironically, her face looks beautiful but he cannot really recall her exact features. Goldilocks, blue eyes but other than that, it looks..blurry. However, her smile is the only thing crystal clear in this memory.

“Emmeryn…Chrom…Lissa needs your help. She is still a baby and you two are her big sister and brother.”

Alm’s vision whips to the right side where a very young Emmeryn sat, silent and apparently cried her eyes out because they were red but now is holding herself from crying anymore. His vision darted to the little wrapped up carefully baby–Lissa! That’s Lissa! So tiny…Chrom looks back at his mother who continues.

“My…days…*sniffles* I’m sorry..I want to be strong for you both bu–*sobs*…I’m sorry…forgive me…*sniffles*–”

“Mother–! *sniffles* s-stop..your health…”

“Emmeryn…I’m sorry for leaving this burden on your shoulders…–”

The conversation slowly becomes inaudible as if they are talking underwater. His vision remains locked on little Lissa as if he is inspecting this little creature that appeared in his life now. She is…his sister? Why is she tiny? why can’t she walk and talk? why is she not like him? Weird…

The voices become clear again when his name is mentioned.

“Chrom…dear,”

He darts his eyes back at his mother, “mhm?”

“Promise me you will be a good big brother to your sister?”

“….okay…”

“Heh, are you jealous? Awh…I wish I could give you everything in the world but…my time…”

“I don’t want everything… I want mommy, daddy, emmy …” Lissa was still a foreign ‘object’ in his life.

“And Lissa? You don’t want her?”

“…..I…..don’twanther.”

“Come again, dear?”

“…idontwanther…..”

“…heh..heheh awh you…Come here, Chrom…” she gently gestures to her side which Chrom climbs and sits beside his mother. The mother gently scoops little lissa up and places her on his lap. 

“! n-noooo” he protests, pushing her away.

“Please? just a little bit?”

“…..”

“Awh, look at you both! See Chrom? isn’t great to have a little sister?”

Chrom looks at the tiny helpless Lissa. God, what is this? Why he cannot like her? He continues to glare at her and Lissa in return stares at him before all of a sudden she smiles and happily giggles at him, arms flailing and trying to reach to Chrom.

“Ah!!! S-stop!” 

“It is okay, Chrom. She is trying to play with you.” the mother reaches her hand towards Lissa who quickly catches one of her fingers in her tiny hands.

“..Oh…” she looks…alright? maybe he can try…playing with her too? He reaches his hand to poke her cheeks–oh yes they looked like cute plums. Lissa let out more baby noises which startle Chrom for a second before he starts laughing too. 

“See? Isn’t she bless? Anyone who looks at her will smile.”

“Hehe she is funny!” and now he continues to poke her cheeks to get her to make more noises which Emmeryn could not help but laugh as well. 

“Chrom, dear, she is not a toy okay?” Emmeryn gently pats his head.

“Mhm, okay! I like Lissa!”

“My, my…that’s a relief…Mommy is happy to hear that….I’m…really…hah….happy..to hear that…”

A maid quickly approaches asking the Queen to go easy on herself. Excitement does not help her.

“Mommy?”

“Mother!”

“It’s…hah…okay. I’m fine. ………………….”

“Milady!!!” The maid cries when the queen suddenly faints. The cries and shouting fill up the room.

Emmeryn quickly picks up Chrom as another maid takes Lissa off his arms and places her in her crib and lead the two outside the room. 

“Mo–MOM!!! Mommy!! Emmy!! What is wrong?!”

“C-calm down, Chrom. Mom is just…t-taking a nap, okay?”

“Buh–But! She did not look ok!”

Emmeryn bites her lower lip, not knowing what else to say but she crouches down and hugs Chrom close. “She is going to be fine. She is going to be fine.”

More maids flock in and out of the room, but no one is telling them anything. The two patiently wait outside her room.

Time skips apparently and the door opens to a maid whose tears running down nonstop. Emmeryn gasps, hands pressed to her chest. The maid gestures for them to walk in which Emmeryn takes hold of Chrom’s hand and guide him inside. Why everyone…is crying? Even Nurse Nan is crying. She is standing next to Mother, wiping away the sweat off her face. 

“Mommy?”

“Mother…?”

“Aah….my dears….come…here….”  

The two move closer to her who she reaches her hand towards them. Emmeryn quickly holds it, kissing it. “Please…mother….don’t…”

“m-…m…*sobs* uwaaaaaaah!! mommy!!” he climbs up the bed to hug her tightly. Nurse Nan reproaches him for doing so and tries to take him away but the Queen tells her it is ok. 

“Ssh….my son…my…strong….beautiful….don’t….cry…who is…going to…protect..emmeryn and lih..lissa…hm?”

“m-mommmyy!”

“d-dear…hah…listen…I’m..counting on you…Lissa…is…small and…cannot protect herself…you are her..big…b..brother….you will protect her….ri-..right?”

“I don’t want to! I want mommy!”

“Chrom..please…don’t make this….hard….”

“Mother, please stop talking!”

“Emmeryn…Your dad…he…he will come..h-home…he will come…a-and then…you will b-be fine…”

“Mom! please!”

“Ch-..Chrom…”

“*sobbing*”

“I love you….I love you…so…much …be…a good…b-boy now…okay? Listen…to..your..ugh..hah..b-b-..big sister.”

“*sobbing more*”

“….Emm….I love yo–”

“I know! Please!…..don’t…..go…”

“Heh…I…wish…ugh…but….mommy is….weak…and…tired…”

“Nan! Do something!”

“…milday…..” she shakes her head.

“….” Emmeryn hugs her mother’s arm, crying and praying to Naga to save her mom.

“Emmeryn…Chrom…and every…one…..know…I …I…loved you…so…much…Lissa…my…baby…I love you….too…I’m…sorry..my …love…i ..wait–ugh..waited….ugh…please…take care of…her….of…my…little..girl…L..i..ss..a……..”

“Mommy?” he gently shakes her but she does not respond.

“M-…mother….? Mother …..no….no…..no……..” 

The room never felt cold before. Once she passed away, everything looked dark and cold. Chrom was quickly picked away from the Queen’s body. He fights back but Emmeryn calmed him down. With how chaotic the room was he finds himself stepping to the back until he hit a wall. His eyes catch the baby’s crib. Lissa was..crying…”Lissa!” he hurries to where she was. 

“…sshhh…shhh…stop crying….” he tries to reach her because it was high for him but Lissa manages to catch his hand, squeezing it as hard as she can and biting into it. “H-hey! Stop that!…eh…nn…Stop!” he pulls his hand away which causes her to cry even more. Suddenly, he remembers what his mother just said. “Nnn….*sniffles*…s-stop…..stooop!…..I will…I will protect you…*sniffles*….” he returns his hand for her to hold and thankfully she stops crying.

The ‘I will protect you’ changes to I hate her …..she took mom away….if she did not come…mom wouldn’t have died. that’s what the maids said. it is …lissa’s fault…..it is her fault…i hate her…..

she should have died, not mom.

mom did nothing wrong.

Lissa should have not been born. She is a mistake. 

If only….

IF ONLY SHE WAS NOT BORN!

She is a cursed child. Mother died…Father died…Sister became tired constantly…everyone hates us…because of her…

she should…disappear….

disappear….

she must….disappear…..

#jasperlion #⚔ic.⚔ (let my action prove my worth) #⚔answer.⚔ (final answer) #long post #//uhhh.......so... #//i wanted alm to suffer a little bit because he didnt know his mom.... #//and like......idk where i was going but then my brain made farting noises and this happened #//extra 'i hate my little sister' to the side too #//i could maybe write this better but then...nope...i...dont have the ability to #//accept my attempt to kill alm with feels #//slides oranges as 'sorry for this koala tea angst' and 'sorry for making alm go through this' #'//alm vc: ok this is not funny why i am shorter--oh.....

[sophoreads]

Annotation notes for Wicked Saints

Attached under the cut are my word-for-word annotation notes pulled straight from my copy of Wicked Saints. Check out my previous post and goodreads review before reading the annotation notes.

I only decided to start annotating this book 115 pages in, because I realized that there were so many problems I was complaining about to my friend Sophie over text that I thought “Hey, I’d better write this shit down so I have receipts/can easily reference my thoughts.” I’d never really done annotations before, so I pulled out a new pack of sticky notes and color tabs that someone gave to me for free when I was in college and got to work. I ran out of sticky notes (started a new pad) and yellow tabs (borrowed last few from a weird tab/highlighter I found at the bottom of my college study stuff bin). I also got so frustrated I had to put the book down several times, because I’d paid eighteen dollars to pre-order this fucking garbage.

Pg 115 Pink tab – Character note --Bitch do you want to kill him or not? This is like bad Reylo fic— (Nadya being ~~inexplicably~~ held back from killing Mal, because she really wants to kill Mal, but just CANT for SOME REASON)

pg 123 Yellow tab – writing/literacy/grammar note --no note written— “He braced himself for the inevitable summons from his father. It arrived immediately by way of servant wearing a plain brown mask that left only his eyes visible. One of his father’s personal servants.”

Pg 137 Yellow tab – writing/literacy/grammar note --WTF is “it commanded attention”?! This whole throne bit is needlessly over-explanatory and could be fixed by adhering to golden rule “show, don’t tell”—

pg 139 Yellow tab --you don’t have to repeat the same thing twice!— “…Serefin paused, swallowing down the anxiety threatening to choke him. He was suddenly unspeakably nervous.”

Pg 140 Yellow tab --you just said they didn’t know who it was and now, not even a page later, you’re literally describing Mal and saying you DO know who it was?! WHO TF EDITED THIS SHIT— (Izak telling Serefin that they don’t know the vulture who escaped, then the vulture lurking behind him describing the backstory of the vulture who escaped)

pg 145 pink tab --what, is she Canadian now?— “You’ve realized your father isn’t so good a father to you, eh?” she [Pelayega] asked.

Pg 146 Yellow tab --For all that Duncan over-explains things in this story I still don’t fucking understand the High/Low prince thing??? Not once has she gone into it. And what the fuck is a slavhka?— (in reference to the first mention of there being “low princes”)

pg 148 Blue tab – Plot note --Why is the church still standing they LITERALLY TORE IT DOWN! THIS PART OF IT COLLAPSED!!!— (in reference to parijahan lying on top of pillows in the church Mal and Nadya just destroyed to get rid of the Vultures)

pg 153 Yellow tab --Are we really still saying “invalid” in the year of our unbridled insanity 2019?— “…Your mother, Estera, is an invalid…” (Mal making up a fake background for Nadya)

pg 153 Blue tab --SINCE WHEN DOES HE HAVE TATTOOS ON HIS HANDS— (in reference to the very first mention of Mal having tattoos on his hands, 153 pages into the story)

pg 155 Pink tab --Anna is so flat a character she could be removed from the whole book and not one thing would change— (in reference to Anna deciding to leave the group to re-join Kalyazi forces. I hold by this statement because Anna had no fucking role in the end of the book, and was therefore a useless character throughout)

pg 157 Pink tab --I’m sorry are we ETHNIC CLEANSING?! IS THIS WHAT WE ARE ENDORSING?! WTF?— “…then we can cleanse Kalyazin of the heretics entirely”

pg 163 Blue tab --this is the first we are hearing about any hierarchy in the vultures, which we should have read many chapters ago, not just when convenient for the author/plot— (in reference to first mention of Crimson Vulture)

pg 164 Yellow tab/Blue tab (overlapping domains) --Inches? FRACTIONS? IN THIS ECONOMY?!— (what is math in medieval Poland)

pg 167 Yellow tab --Still have not defined nobility and what makes a family “noble” or slavhka or whatever “low prince/royalty” or some shit— (In reference to yet another mention of low princes/royalty and somehow differentiating them from slavhka)

pg 168 Blue tab --I am more interested in gay Romeo/Juliet in a blood mage society than I am the entire plot of Wicked Saints— --Also this interaction feels cringey and thrown in for…no real reason?— “You’ve missed so much! Did you know that Nikodem Stachowicz was caught in the palace archives with the youngest Osadik boy?” (Zaneta)

pg 170 Yellow tab --FIRE YOUR COPY EDITOR— He shrugged, burying his tattooed hands in his pockets. “It binds over time, magic does. Especially blood magic. It’s so accessible. You don’t have to have a true affinity for it…” (Mostly I got furious over the fact that we’re only just getting Mal’s tattoo hands, which was obviously written in as an afterthought for his character partway through the writing process and not retconned into the story. I also just hate the sentence “it binds over time, magic does.”)

Pg 170 Yellow tab --Page 170: “walked on” Page 177: on horseback. WHAT IS THE TRUTH?— “Malachiasz stopped to wait for Nadya while the others walked on ahead” (this note coincides with a future note)

pg 173 Orange tab – blatant parallels to and lifts from Dragon Age franchise --you get a special shame-color for copying Dragon Age (also WHAT IS YOUR MAGIC STRUCTURE HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE) (it’s just bad writing)— “He was referring to witches—apostate magic users outside the gods’ approval—but there had been no witches in Kalyazin for decades. Their route of magic was considered just as heretical as blood magic…”

pg 176 yellow tab --Emily A Duncan focuses [more] on the little actions of Malacheezit than she does for any other character and it hurts the story— (specific reference to line “He fidgeted, fingers picking at a hang nail” interjected in dialogue. This action-dialogue tag does no service to the story at all.)

Pg 177 Pink tab --What the fuck? Is this about Holy War or is this a romance fantasy? (note the order: not “fantasy romance”)— “In a flash, his hand was underneath her chin, thumb brushing against her jaw…If Nadya hadn’t been sitting down she suspected her knees would have given out on her.”

Pg 177 Yellow tab --SINCE WHEN DO THEY HAVE FUCKING HORSES?! FIRE ALL YOUR EDITORS FIRE THE PUBLISHER— “Nadya let her horse wander instead of tying it up, sending a short prayer up to Vaclav to keep an eye on the animal so it didn’t stray too far.” (These horses were never mentioned before (note connects to a prev. note) and were never mentioned again after this. I literally cannot fathom how or why this book made it to final printing in this state.)

Pg 183 Pink tab --All this romance shit seems so forced for both Nadya and mal. I see no actual attraction on either party?— (I’m not recording the second note as it is a crude remark against the author, a remark of which I still stand by, but would be damaging to both her and myself. However, the emotion of the second note follows the concept of “anyone who knew what they were talking about wouldn’t write this kind of bullshit.”)

Pg 185 Yellow tab --“Per se”? I’m sorry is there LATIN in this world? (it’s bad writing)— “He wasn’t putting it off per se, he…”

pg 186 yellow tab --“It was fitting THAT assassins…” ugh— “It was fitting assassins chose to strike that same evening” (Doesn’t the author have a masters degree? And works in a library? How is her writing this chopped and sloppy, omitting crucial subject/action markers?)

Pg 198 Blue tab --Jesus, are prostitutes of war a NORMAL THING? WE SHOULD BE SAVING THESE POOR WOMEN— “The girl is…” He faltered, convincingly. “Well, you understand.” He winked at the soldier. (the soldier doesn’t even remark on Nadya’s sex slave status) (Also I realize that “prostitutes of war” is not the correct vernacular, however I’m committed to giving you my direct and exact notes. I know that they are slaves of war, sex slaves specifically, and do not receive true compensation or reparation for their suffering.)

Pg 201 Pink tab --HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NOBLES? YOU LIVED YOUR WHOLE LIFE IN A MONASTERY!— “Nobles are nobles,” she [Nadya] said waving a hand. “Regardless of where they come from. The pettiness of court transcends all cultural boundaries.”

Pg 202 Blue tab --WHAT THE FUCK? EXPLAIN YOUR MAGIC/MYTHS— (referencing the blasé and brief mention of Wolf Changers, which we never hear about again)

pg 203 blue tab --WHAT NECKLACE? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?— --Oh, that necklace, that was mentioned in the first chapter, forgotten, reintroduced the following chapter, then COMPLETELY forgotten again! Bad writing. Bad props.— “Her prayer beads were safely in her pocket, so she clutched at the necklace Kostya had given her.”

Pg 205 Blue tab --Is her accent suddenly better?— (reference to previous statements of Nadya having a terrible travanian accent, hence the sex slave thing to the border guard so she doesn’t have to talk, but now she’s talking and there was no reference to her improving her accent at all or even working on it.)

pg 207 yellow tab --I can see Emily has a kink for masks + chin grabbing— “He [Serefin] reached out and took her chin in his hand, lifting her face up to his” (Mal has also done this to Nadya countless times and she orgasms almost every time.)

Pg 209 Orange tab --The veil, yet another stolen Dragon Age concept!— “…closed her eyes, letting herself feel the invisible wall separating gods from men. She felt it the moment they had stepped into Tranavia, the weight of the veil pressing down against her, choking off her only access to the divine.” (This is also the very first reference to any such veil being in place. It took 209 pages for this to be mentioned, in a book chock full of a girl talking to gods in her head. Also, they’ve been in Tranavia for awhile. Why wasn’t this mentioned when they first stepped foot inside? (because it’s bad writing))

Pg 209 Pink tab --Nadya’s powers seem almost limitless at this point— “Holy speech whispered through her head and she moved to disassemble the spells woven through the walls. She couldn’t take them apart completely— someone would notice, precautions in place—she was just making them fuzzy, bleeding them out. She dulled them so any information imparted back to the mages who set them would appear mundane.” (If Nadya’s powers (at this point in the book) are tied to the gods, there is no mention of which god provides these powers. If this is meant to foreshadow that Nadya has her own powers, it’s a lazy job. It’s simply overpowered and oversimplified. )

Pg 210 [no tab just a sticky] --oh FINALLY we hear how they met!— “I’ve known him [Rashid] my whole life. And we crashed into Malachiasz about six months ago after getting into trouble with some off-duty Kalyazi soldiers.”

Pg 214 [no tab just a sticky] --also can we acknowledge the whole “brown girl serves a white girl” thing because WOW— (in reference to Parijahan playing handmaiden to Nadya at the palace)

pg 215 Pink tab --“Couldn’t worry about the prince”? wasn’t HE the one she wanted to kill in revenge for Kostya? (IS THAT ALL FORGOTTEN NOW?)

pg 216 Pink tab --First Zaneta is Indian [coded] and now she’s black [coded]? WHAT?— “…a tall girl with luminous skin like onyx threaded with gold…her spiral curls fanned out around her head like a halo.”

Pg 217 Orange tab --The game? Court intrigue? Masks? This all reeks of Orlais and direct theft from Dragon Age— (in reference to basically the whole castle competition, masks, etc)

pg 217 Yellow tab --And now we’re switching perspectives mid-chapter? Just start a new chapter!— (in reference to the very first mid-chapter perspective switch, which will occur more from here on out)

pg 232 yellow tab --I am so sick of these italicized words without any translation or description— (in reference to szitelka which I still DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS)

pg 233 pink tab --what the fuck is Nadya’s perspective? Does she want to kill all Tranavians or not? Emily make up your fucking mind— (in reference to Nadya getting pissed at Mal for killing the other blood mage girl in Nadya’s duel, so that Nadya wouldn’t die and the duel would end)

pg 234 pink tab --literally when has Nadya worried about his safety, esp. when she’s the one always threatening to kill him?— “She hadn’t forgotten, not even while she found herself worrying about his safety and wanting him by her side.”

Pg 235 Pink tab --oh FINALLY we get a description of his tattoos! 235 PAGES IN!!!! BULLSHIT YOU HACK WRITER!— “She found her eyes drawn to the tattoos on his long, elegant fingers. They were simple, straight lines: two on either side of each finger and one down the back that started at the bed of each fingernail and ended at his wrist in a single black bar.” (I literally vomited in my mouth when I read this)

Pg 238 Pink tab --Oh so Mal can’t murder to save you but you can murder Tranavians and its fucking justified? Nadya is such a bad Nazi char.— “It’s not an apology for murdering that girl, she noted. But it was a start. It was something from this boy who obviously had no morals and no regard for anything that didn’t serve his own interests.” (Nadya is the worst hypocrite and I want to punch her in the face)

Pg 239 Yellow tab --Hanged? Since when? Has hanging? Been a threat? Ever? In this world?— “…or else this whole mess of a plan will go up in smoke and we’ll all be hanged for it.”

Pg 240 Pink tab (this is another omitted note because it is a crude comment in part against the author, but the other half does say that Nadya is such a virgin and that I am second-hand embarrassed because this book and the “romance” scenes are so bad)

pg 242 blue tab --If Nadya used blood magic, why don’t the gods cut off her powers for her heresy? It would only make sense— (this is just a general comment on the chapter and how, after the duel and Nadya used blood magic, her gods were still talking to her. This is also before we find out that Nadya has her own powers)

pg 247 yellow tab --the way this is lazily written we’re supposed to assume it’s Ostiya at the door. Could be written much better (all of this could be written much better)— “Serefin hastily wrapped his still-bleeding hand with cloth while Kacper got the door. Ostiya blinked her single eye at the sight of both of them.”

Pg 248 Blue tab --“delicate gov[ernmen]t? we don’t even know how  the gov’t is even structured!— “This was too far. It would crumble Travania’s already delicate government.”

Pg 259 Blue tab --Oh good, a love triangle. Good to know Nadya’s type is “blood mage  tortured/charming boy” that grabs chin + kisses hands— “…and wasn’t sure what to do with this charmingly awkward boy. That he was one of the most powerful blood mages in Tranavia...She wavered too much already; she couldn’t allow herself to feel any more.”

Pg 260 Pink tab --Literally all that Parijahan does is be soft + comforting? That is literally all she does to Mal + Nadya + Rashid?— “Nadya usually didn’t see this side of Parijahan. It relieved her to see there was a warm softness to Parijahan’s flinty gaze.”

Pg 270 Blue tab --What do you mean? When did you mention that the gods had withdrawn their power from Nadya?— “She had no magic. She had nothing. She had no hope without her gods.”

Pg 275 Blue tab --But they would abandon her for using blood magic you dumbass— “The gods wouldn’t have abandoned her. Not for a few doubts, not for kissing a heretic—not even that.”

Pg 278 Blue tab --Okay this is actually a really cool scene— (when Nadya is first using blood with the pendant to see her way out of the room the rogue Vultures locked her in)

pg 280 blue tab --Calls her “little bird” is this Mal?— (referencing this unnamed god that Nadya is talking to via Kostya’s necklace)

pg 287 yellow tab --sloppy transition makes it seem as though a new person is talking— (Basically for the next two pages Emily incorrectly punctuates her paragraph breaks while Pelayega is talking.)

Pg 294 Orange tab --Velyos=Solas=Mal? Oh my god is this whole plot a regurgitation of DA:Inquisition/Trespasser?— “Have you heard of him? I suppose not. The veil went up, Velyos broke away. Your gods were probably relieved, but here he is once more...”

pg 298 blue tab --fucking called it (“acted like he was dead”? Literally said before that he was “sent to the country”)— (in reference to Serefin seeing Mal and discovering that his cousin is the Black Vulture. Previously, a not so subtle mention of a nameless male cousin of Serefin’s was “sent to the country” when he was young. I immediately pegged it as being Mal. But now it is written that Serefin was led to believe that his cousin died? The inconsistencies are rife.)

pg 308 pink tab --Does Nadya literally have no self control or sense of morality (for her own morals)? What the fuck is this?— “Then her traitorous, heretical hands betrayed her as she reached up and wove them into his hair, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him. Because she was angry with him, furious with his lies, but not even her anger was enough to cool the burning she felt when he was near; the heat that spread through her nerves when he touched her.”

Pg 308 Pink tab --ooh power shift, she’s doing the chin-grabbing now!— “She took his chin in her hand, directing his gaze down to hers.”

Pg 309 Blue tab --except for the vultures that kidnapped her? What about them?!— “Go to the cathedral when you’re finished here,” he said. “None of the Vultures will give you any trouble.”

Pg 313 Pink tab --Didn’t want the fate of nations? She LITERALLY came here to topple the monarchy and uproot Tranavia and start a mass ethinic cleansing— “She was only one girl; she didn’t want the fate of nations resting on her decisions.”

Pg 314 Pink tab --YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS YOU DUMB BITCH— [the dumb bitch being Nadya] “The war took something important to me,” she said, fingering Kostya’s necklace unconsciously. She couldn’t think about how it had been Serefin who had led that attack. (Nadya literally forgets and completely forgives Serefin for what she believes is Kostya’s murder (we know that Kostya wasn’t killed by Serefin but his BABY BRO WAS). Like, wasn’t Kostya super important to her? And she tried to kill Serefin in revenge but Mal stopped her? And in literally less than a week she totally forgets about it?)

Pg 318 Pink tab --Honestly, Mal deserves better than Nadya. He’s clearly doing his best and she’s just being racist and unwavering.— He opened his mouth, at a loss for words. Finally, he asked, “Will it always be like this?” Would it? She couldn’t say. Would she ever be comfortable with what he was? Or would it always be this constant hot and cold, friends one second and enemies the next? “I don’t know.” (Nadya is so abusive in this whole relationship I feel bad for Mal)

pg 321 yellow tab --He literally said he only told her the truth?! Mal has literally not told one lie?— “He was a liar and she wanted his truths”

pg 322 yellow tab --The whole order of this scene description + the characters is clunky and wrong— (no further comment really, that pretty much explains it)

pg 326 pink tab --Did she literally forget about Kostya? Did Nadya literally just forgive Serefin b/c she thinks he’s cute and tortured? LITERALLY? WHY?— “Serefin. He’s good,” She nuzzled his chest. “I like him. He should live.”

Pg 327 Blue tab --Can Serefin suddenly write his own spells now?! I thought only Mal could do that— “As he sat down at his desk with spells sprawled out in front of him, blood still drying on the pages, he couldn’t shake the feeling…”

pg 335 pink tab --That’s right, bitch! You’re damn nigh abusive to him and for some reason he keeps coming back! I don’t know why since you have the personality of a Nazi but for some reason Mal just really wants to fuck you!— “How could she be the only good thing to happen to him? She had almost slit his throat, had hung him off a railing. She didn’t even trust him, not really.”

Pg 351 Blue tab --since when have we seen a fucking calendar system?— “…turned the tide of a battle in 625 when…” (this is a “Vasiliev’s Book of Saints” entry for chapter 33. There is one more reference to a year in an earlier codex entry (tsk another Dragon Age ripoff) for something like 15XX. We don’t know what year it is, nor do we know when/why they started counting. Maybe it’s not critical for the story but it IS critical if you’re bringing it up.)

pg 357 orange tab --Literally Solas’s plot in Trespasser— “She bit back a cry of pain and shoved her magic harder up at the veil. If this was when she died, then fine. Fine. She would tear this veil down first and bring the gods back to Tranavia with her dying breath.”

Pg 360 Blue tab --How did she get here? Already? These scenes are so lazy, show me Nadya scrambling up the dais to Mal’s waiting neck— “He idly spun a chalice on the armrest and Serefin watched as the cleric stood and darted for a dagger that reseted a few steps away. It was time to test just what he could do with this power. (now it’s Nadya’s POV) Malachiasz’s eyes closed. He tilted his head back, baring his throat to Nadya’s blade.”

Pg 363 Yellow tab --Did we just miss Serefin fighting his father for Nadya’s sexy threatening? Was that really a real choice the author made?— (Nadya looks over at Serefin) “Serefin was on his knees, hunched over in pain, blood oozing from his head, one hand white-knuckled on the ground holding him up. Dead moths littered the floor around him. The stars around his head began to flicker out.”

Pg 368 Yellow tab --you CANNOT call it an “Adam’s apple” when there is no “Adam” or Christianity in this fantasy world! Lazy writing indeed!— “His head tilted back, Adam’s apple bobbing, as he swallowed hard.”

Pg 376 Yellow tab --this line is so cliché and fucking bad why the fuck is it even in here?— “The king is dead, long live the king,” she said, handing it [the crown] to him [Serefin].

Pg 376 Yellow tab --And why didn’t you write that the other vultures disappeared? There is so much missing here— “Where are all the Vultures?” Ostiya asked “Most probably fled with their king,” Serefin said.

Pg 378 Yellow tab --Is what enough? Power? Crown? What the fuck? This is so sloppy— “Will this be enough?” she asked him [Serefin]. “To stop the war?” … [Serefin:] “It will”

pg 380 yellow tab --No clear description of where Mal is. Is this physical or ethereal? What the fuck is happening?— (Mal’s whole epilogue)

#review #wicked saints spoilers #spoilers

[autumnslance]

Finding Garlond

I stumbled across some notes I scribbled to myself on my recent replay through of A Realm Reborn and Heavensward, and figured I might as well share them.

The big question I had being: How did Alphinaud know where to find amnesiac Cid Garlond just when he needed him to get to Garuda?

There is a single line of dialogue much earlier in the MSQ that explains it, I think, and given who’s involved, makes sense why Alphinaud might know where and when to show up. Short answer: Thancred, bein’ a rogue. Longer answer below.

Of course I can’t find my screenshots to go with my scribbles, but on an early visit to the Church of Saint Adama Landama while investigating Ifrit’s possible summoning, you meet Father Iliud, “Marques”, and the other brothers and sisters running the lichyard. The sister (I believe Eluned) who sends you to talk with Marques the first time ends up apologizing for his odd mannerisms, and mentions offhand that Marques’ oddity had offended Thancred, causing the scholar to leave.

Now, Cid was was involved in the Legacy storyline, and part of the celebrations following Nael van Darnus’ defeat, where members of the Circle of Knowing were also in attendance. While I don’t know how much interaction there was with Louisoix’s group and Minfilia’s Path of the Twelve, Cid was not exactly an unknown to the archons who would eventually form the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, and Minfilia openly laments Cid’s missing status a few times.

Then Carteneau happens, and everyone in the realm--even people not immediately present--find their memories of events and certain people fuzzy.

I don’t know that Louisoix’s spell would have affected others’ memory of Cid, but it’s one option, and a viable headcanon, if the old mage wanted to protect Cid as well from the threat of Gaius van Baelsar, or Cid just got caught in the crossfire of all the magic going out.

What I find more likely is Cid’s memory was badly affected by Carteneau because of his pureblood Garlean status reacting poorly to that much aetheric energy and/or the trauma of that day. He was found by Father Iliud, given a name, and taken somewhere safe.

I find it very unlikely that Iliud or the other priests did not notice the third eye in the course of five years. That they allowed Marques to keep the goggles, while taking all else, and the hooded robes of their order were also helpful to protect this man, whether he was a Garlean soldier they had found injured and alone, or if Iliud suspected the truth of his new friend’s identity.

Then along comes that obnoxious, flirty scholar whose been wandering around Thanalan the last several years, he speaks to Marques, both men seem upset, and Thancred leaves quickly. Hrm.

My personal theory is Thancred DID recognize Cid as Marques--or, maybe thought he did. But after a few years, the new look (Legacy Cid was clean-shaven), and the man’s lack of memory or knowledge, would make it hard to prove. Thancred’s frustration might have been his inability to get a good answer--or trigger a memory, verifying the man’s identity. And/or the “offense” was an act from our favorite bard-rogue to cover his suspicions/knowledge.

Minfilia’s short story, “The Walker’s Path”, mentions Thancred being good at secrets and lies, which younger Minfilia found troubling, as she struggled with her life and identity being so wrapped up in lies, and the covering that Thancred and F’lhaminn did to protect her initially from Warburton’s enemies. So there is precedent for Thancred keeping things from Minfilia for reasons he would deem for her safety--or perhaps for Cid’s, or both.

Unable to verify Cid’s identity (either because his own memory was affected, or he couldn’t get Cid to remember, or both), Thancred would leave it alone to observe. But he might leave the information with someone else, or findable by another--like, the Scion’s resident strategist and heir to Louisoix’s legacy. If he can’t tell Minfilia without her responding emotionally, Alphinaud is the next reasonable authority in the Scions, who would agree with Thancred’s measured assessment: leave it alone for now, until we can’t.

Gaius was up to something in that time, and would love Cid back. Not only, as we discover, because Cid would have been invaluable in the work on Ultima Weapon, but also cuz, IMO, Gaius is a manipulative, abusive, controlling jerk. My evidence would be his skeevy relationship with his foster daughter Livia, and how Nero's perceived rivalry with Cid seems to be fostered (Rhitatyn’s really the only one who didn’t need controlled in some way; just recognize the man as the competent soldier and commander he was, despite being roegadyn, and boom, loyalty for the correct reasons). Cid left; he got away--and with some of his closest friends and fellow gifted engineers (Biggs, Wedge, Jessie) to boot.

It was safer for Cid to stay missing for those five years (besides, we all know who really runs the Ironworks).

Then Thancred is possessed, the Waking Sands raided, and the Ixal are summoning Garuda. Suddenly Alphinaud has no choice but to try and make Cid remember--and with his arcanist training, he’d likely determine through the clues that yes, this Marques IS Cid Garlond.

Also explains why suddenly there were imperial spies watching Marques at the church we have to dispatch just before Alphy shows up; Lahabrea knew everything Thancred did, and if he needed a bargaining chip, or way to control, Gaius, the Ascian would have taken it, not to mention how useful Cid would be to completing Ultima Weapon, sooner than Nero alone could.

The Warrior of Light’s presence helps the fog clear from Cid’s mind in a way it would not otherwise when Thancred might have tried (the constant remarks of “your presence seems to make things happen” as time goes on is probably an effect of the Crystal’s Blessing as much as plot convenience). Iliud does his best to protect this man he sees as a son, has protected the last five years knowing at the least that he’s a Garlean, but now, there’s a primal loose and the champions of the realm need Cid’s help. So Iliud reluctantly lets him go, giving him back the possessions he’s kept hidden the last five years.

Cid doesn’t get his memory back right away, of course; it takes time and work, and finally the Blessing of Light (and if you’re a Meteor Survivor, he realizes it in the airship time travel scene, long before the 2.0 finale when everyone else suddenly remembers you, too).

I’m happy Iliud had a small cameo in the early RDM quests; I missed him, for all his brief appearances in the ARR MSQ. I like checking in on those minor but impactful NPCs, and the old priest is probably, out of Cid’s father figures, the most decent one. I’ve also mentioned before about my headcanon that Cid stops in at the church when he can, fixing a few things, telling stories about his adventures with the Warrior of Light, making sure Iliud’s taking care of himself/letting others take care of him.

Anyway, that’s my ramble for this evening.

#Final Fantasy XIV #A Realm Reborn #Cid Garlond #Thancred Waters #Alphinaud Leveilleur #Father Iliud #theorycrafting #lore #headcanon

[mcheang]

Shadow And Bone episode 7 recap

Spoilers alert

Huh, we get an unexpected view into Aleksander’s past. I have to say this...the past appearance...not working out. Stick to the current haircut or copy Prince Caspian’s. Anyway, here the Darkling had helped the king but now the king wants the darkling under his control and orders his arrest. The Darkling rushes to find his healer lover, Luda. The others left with Baghra to find sanctuary. The soldiers catch up to the Darkling and attack him when he appears peacefully. They kill Luda and he kills them in return. Wow...Aleksander can break thick wood...strong...

It is too late to save Luda, and she was their only healer. Most Grisha cannot fight the king’s army. Baghra tries to advise her son to flee until the king has a problem only Grisha can solve. But Aleksander is insistent that they help the Grisha suffering now. He thinks of using merzost, but Baghra says it is unpredictable. As the Grisha flee and the other guards come, Aleksander attempts to use merzost to make them his soldiers. He creates the Fold.

I have no idea why Baghra is ailing. Isn’t she using her powers in the past? Anyway, Aleksander carries her to safety post-Fold creation.

In the present, David senses Alina’s ring.

Inej plans to leave the Crows rather than return to Ketterdam and suffer under Heleen’s thumb.

Alina needs to be the one to kill the stag, who also happens to come right by. Ok, change of plans. Alina doesn’t want to kill the stag...

Such a beautiful reindeer

Of course, the Darkling and his men attack. Alina manages to hit them with light...not blind, but actually hit them...how does that even make sense unless it was like a heat blast?

Alina covers the stag, Mal and herself under a dome of light but the other two are dying. Kirigan offers Alina the chance to save Mal if she will let him kill the stag. Alina accepts it, despite Mal’s urging that she be the one to kill it.

Inej is about to leave but Kaz admits Alina is a Sun Summoner, not a saint, and that he believes in himself and Inej since she was the one who looked out for him, not saints.

David melts the antler collar into Alina’s collarbone, and a small piece of the antler into Kirigan’s hand. CREEPY AND UGLY. Like why can’t they just wear it as jewellery!!!??? Alina’s collar now looks kinda demonic rather than saintly and the Darkling’s hand...well, it looks like one slap onto that bump on his hand could crush his veins or whatever.

Alina is NOT happy that Kirigan now controls her light. Honestly, I was expecting more of a light show after all that hype about amplifying her power...her fete exhibition was more impressive than this...her episode 2 reveal was the most impressive of all, ironically.

The Crows attempt to hijack the train, but I am betting it was the Darkling who ordered it blown up.

The Grisha go to Kribirsk. Genya visits Alina wearing Corporalki red. Alina can’t count on the king to stop Kirigan because he has taken ill and the queen is confined to prevent contagion. Alina realizes that Genya was a spy for Kirigan and poisoned the king for him. Can’t blame her when the king raped her. But Alina reminds Genya that Kirigan put her in that position in the first place. Genya refuses to listen, but does admit that she never sent Alina’s letters.

The Crows decide to infiltrate the skiff, and probably capture Alina after the crossing. Jesper is quick to remind that the Darkling and his Grisha want them dead and know their faces. So they replace the guests already invited.

Kirigan visits Mal and admits he read their correspondence. He won’t kill Mal since Mal will age while Alina will die...um...what’s the point of this conversation exactly? Taunting Mal that Alina’s only equal is Kirigan?

Mal escapes with the help of Jesper’s goat, Milo. Seriously...who leaves a key on a goat allowed to roam?

Aleksander visits Alina and tries to entreat her that everything he has done was for Ravka and he wants them to be a team. Alina admits that they could have been partners, but Alina reminds him that he took control of her power away, and let Genya suffer. She could have saved Grisha by letting her destroy the Fold, but he didn’t give her the choice. The Darkling angrily accepts that Alina sees him as the enemy.

Kirigan learns of Mal’s escape and lets him go but orders he be killed if he comes near Alina. He lies to Alina that Mal will be freed if she behaves.

Mal and the Crows infiltrate the skiff. Alina is chained to the deck, but her collar will grab everyone’s attention.

The skiff heads into the Fold.

Sigh. I’m sad. Here all Darklina interactions will be full of animosity...T.T

I can understand Kirigan’s strategy. First Army always attacked Grisha first. So he fights brutality with brutality. But he really does care for Grisha. Even though they will die, they are still his kind.

I can also understand Alina’s animosity. Dude, you took her power away. She is not going to forgive that. He may not have intended for the Fold to be a blight, but he wants it to remain. I felt sad that she blamed him for the deaths of her parents and friends. He never intended for the Fold to be a blight. What interests me is the way she said they could have been romantic partners if he had made her his equal, and this is her knowing he is the Black Heretic. So what bothers her isn’t his past mistake but his current actions.

Also, his entrance into the clearing was kinda vampire-like...not impressive.

#shadow and bone episode 7 #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone netflix

[penguinsocksworks]

See You At Home (1/?)

Read on AO3

Read on Tumblr: Chapter 1

Summary:Keith is just one of those normal teenagers living a double life, trying to balance being a superhero named Red and a boring college kid. Keith also has two major annoyances in his life: his roommate Lance, and his teammate blue. He swears to god, it's almost like they're the same person!

Or

Keith and Lance are roommates who don't know that the other is also part of earth's very own evil fighting squad; Voltron. Shiro and Allura shake their heads a lot, Hunk offers supportive smiles, Pidge laughs their ass off and Coran doesn't get what the big deal is.

SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS BUT YOLO AMIRITE? No but seriously, Nessa, Happy birthday and I seriously hope this is what you were looking for.

To all the readers that are reading this: I'm fairly new to this fandom and I haven't been apart for that long. That being said I tried to keep this as in character as I could but... idk. I attempt to be funny too, so warning for bad humor. This was originally just supposed to be a private one shot for my friend Nessa's birthday but it turned into something a little more when I started to think about it more. And so I wanted to share it will the community! I'm not sure when updates will come, but I'm looking forward to working on this. Im scared to call this a miraculous lady bug AU cause it really has nothing to do with that show but it has superhero concepts from the show so like... its not completely but the concepts are owned by them. So I hope you all enjoy!

Nessa requested that this fic contain: HeLL ToNS OF FlUfF, Keith interacting with kids, enough angst to make you need tissues for a year, cute oblivious boys, smartass Pidge, and like five other things. So lets see if I can make it work. Lets play the 'lets guess how many chapters long this fic will be' game.

If you wanna hmu for anything here on tumblr you can! Im currently taking prompts to distract me in between writing this when i need a break.

SO AFTER THAT WHOLE SPIEL ENJOY MY SHITTY WRITING!

Keith will kick his ass one of these days. Seriously, say he won't cause he'd absolutely attack his teammate right in the middle of this fight. He could've gotten the both of them killed!

“Red,” a hand landed itself on his heaving shoulder, “You okay?”

Keith turned to snap at the voice, ready to release his anger all over the black paladin that dared ask him if he was okay. But he didn't. He stopped halfway, because yelling at Black wouldn't do anything but get him in trouble, whether it be in general or having to face Pinks scolding later on about being nice to your fellow paladins.

All these code names were confusing as hell to Keith, but he supposed that they had to keep their identities hidden for their “loved ones” safety. Or so said Pink, aka his brothers girlfriend, ahem sorry fiancé as of last Friday, Allura. She was deemed the leader of Voltron when Coran had come to earth, crashing through the ceiling of Shiro and Alluras nice apartment, and told her that she was the long lost princess of Altea.

In the middle of taco night too.

It started off like any normal night. Keith had to attend mandatory family dinner nights at least once a month or he'd get yelled at by both Allura and Shiro. Keith didn't quite get it, since it was only the three of them that attended these dinners and he often wondered why Shiro never insisted that Lance, Hunk, and Pidge tag along as well.

Shiro probably just wanted a break from all the kids at once. And! He'd get to harass his little adopted brother as much as he pleased in this setting without having to worry about embarrassing him too much. Shiro was thoughtful like that. Call him a saint if you will.

“So,” Shiro had been sprinkling more cheese onto the meat of his Taco Bell taco, “What was Lance up to tonight?”

Normally Keith would just shrug, he would never be able to predict exactly what his roommate would spontaneously plan when he was out, but this time he had received a definite answer to his “so Lance, I'm heading over to Shiro’s tonight, what are you going to do?”

he usually just received a joking “I dunno, just go already. Your presence is making me sick.”

But Yes, Keith actually had an answer for Shiro's inevitable question this time around, “Movie night with Pidge and Hunk.”

Keith would rather be watching a movie with them than be interrogated and made fun of all night by Allura and Shiro, but it was the last day of the month and they hadn't gotten their dinner in. Allura hummed, “So how is school? Getting good grades I presume?”

“Y’know, for someone who claims to not be good with kids,” Keith shot Allura a glare, “You've been upping the mom talk lately. Is there a time constraint on this wedding that I should know about?”

“Haha Keith,” Allura rolled her eyes, “No there isn't. Can I not be concerned for the person I've known for practically all of his life?”

Keith scowled, “I met you when I was five. And you hated me back then.”

“That's because all the foster ladies thought that you were the cutest thing since puppies and gave you extra cookies,” Allura waved her fork. She always used a fork, claiming it was just unnatural to eat tacos with your hands, “Surely you can't blame me for that. I even braided your hair!”

“You are like the big sister I never asked for,” Keith mumbled into his food. His eyes only narrowed further when Allura got that weird gleam in her eyes.

“I'm going to be your actual sister soon,” Allura grasped at Shiro’s hand, “Isn't that right sweetie?”

“That's right pumpkin!” Shiro just cooed back with a sickly sweet look.

They only did this when they wanted to torture Keith. And boy did it work, “You two are the reason I don't believe in love.”

“Shouldn't that be the other way around?” Allura just smiled, head resting on her palm now.

Keith scoffed, “No couple could ever be ask cutesy as you guys. I'm calling BS on all this. It's all fake.”

He didn't like the weight of Shiro's hand on his shoulder, it was the tell tale sign of a serious dad talk, “Keith. You will find someone some day that will make you act like this.”

“Oh god I hope not,” Keith crinkled his nose, “If I ever look this dumb just… shoot me.”

“Who knows Keith,” Allura had a sing song quality to her voice that he didn't like, “Maybe you've already met that special someone. Maybe you already act this stupid with someone.”

“What are you imply-”

And that's when Coran promptly crashed through the ceiling, luckily not causing any major injuries.

Coran had been ecstatic that Allura had managed to find at least two of the paladins. Meaning him and Shiro. It had something to do with the earring and dog tag they had gotten over the years. Keith still played with the single stud in his earlobe when he was nervous. It had become a habit. But after everything that's happened recently, he almost felt like tossing it into a river and never looking back.

“Princess Allura! It is I, Coran, your faithful caretaker all the way from Altea,” Coran bowed in front of Allura, “I have dreadful news of our home planet. But that is not important right now.”

“Who… How on earth do you know my name!” Allura backed away a bit, “I demand you tell me now!”

“I've known you since you were a baby, Princess,” Coran wiped a tear, “I was just as sad as the rest of the royal family when we had to send you here.”

“Send me here?” Shiro looked at Alluras dumbfounded countenance and contemplated getting a pan to hit the guy with.

“For your protection, of course. Ah, Allura my girl! I'm so proud of you!” Coran put his hands on his hips. Keith just couldn't look away from his voluptuous mustache, “You managed to find two Paladins already!”

“Paladins?” Allura squeaked out, looking as shocked as Keith felt.

Coran just tilted his head and grinned, “Yes! And just in time too, Zarkon and a fleet of soldiers should be coming any minute to retrieve Voltron.”

“Voltron…?” Keith felt as if he had heard that name from somewhere before. Had Pidge mentioned it?

All three of them were shocked, Coran just  blinked curiously and explained for the unpteenth time that evil forces were on their way and they needed to find the other paladins. Of course none of them moved.

Except for Alluras hand, sliding over to call for 911.

To be fair, it's not everyday that someone comes crashing into an apartment ceiling, claiming that your flimsy little accessories could turn you into a badass crime fighter. Or that you were the long lost princess of a dead civilization. It was crazy and insane, but as Coran showed them how to summon their weapons and costumes from their respective jewelry pieces, it started to become a whole lot more real.

Either that or someone slipped something into their tacos. Which was possible. Keith had seen the cashier hopped up on something more than once around campus. He was more disappointed about his crushed dinner than concerned about the whole forming Voltron thing.

He had priorities bitch.

When Keith yelled out an embarrassingly cliche phrase to release his outfit, “Red Paladin! Defender of Voltron!” There was a flashing light and he was blinded for a moment. He looked sheepishly down at his armor, admiring the solid almost lightly matted red coloring. the sword was an unusual weight in his palm, he was used to a lighter fencing sword, but the cool metal that seeped through his covered fingers felt powerful.

The helmets on their heads covered their hair and the tinted visors made it hard to make out any sort of eyes. The outfit made it out so that the only feature of theirs that could be really recognizable on their faces were their mouths.  

After that initial transformation, Allura with her pink suit on, felt her necklace chime out. The sweet bells that were released when she first summoned her outfit was replaced by harsh screeching. Coran made an inhumanly high girlish squeal and led them all aboard the ship that he had used to destroy their tacos. Dinner was completely forgotten. Keith had a bad feeling about going onto a strange ship. Shiro always said not to go into strange vehicles. But then again, Shiro was also heading into this strange vehicle so...

Aboard the ship, the three of them were led to a command center of some sort, five chairs surrounding one pedestal. Shiro and Keith sat in what could have been their designated chairs, the ones glowing black and red.

“Princess,” Coran twirled the ends on his mustache, “please place your necklace in the hole!”

There was a heart shaped divot in the plain looking circuit board in front of her. She diligently removed her necklace that she had possessed since she first showed up on the foster cares doorstep and placed it in the hole, probably thinking this was still some strange dream.

The castle ship thing took off and landed somewhere in the middle of their city. Keith could feel himself pale at the sight of it, a beast robot of some sort preparing to take down building after building.

“Shiro…” he looked towards his adoptive brother, “Shiro what's happening.”

The older male just shrugged, awe struck at the sight.

“Chop chop! Let's go you two, your so called earth isn't going to defend itself!”

Coran shouted out, almost gleefully.

Shiro stood, “What? You can't be serious. We don't even know how to fight properly.”

Keith knew that Shiro did. Even just a little bit. He’s in the army, or he was at least. Deployed for only a year and a half and one missing arm to prove his time. He was a fighter, and if it wasn't for Allura, himself, and that therapists disapproval, Keith was sure that Shiro would go and sign himself up again.

“Oh don't be ridiculous! You'll be fine!” Coran started to push on their backs, “Though the ticks are ticking away!”

“Coran!” Allura lurched forward in her chair, closer to a hologram screen that popped up, “What is that?”

On the screen appeared three other figures, looking about as panicked as they all felt. But they had on outfits so similar to Keith and Shiro's that they stood out from the normal civilians, who were panicking and running away.

Coran let out a giddy noise, “Those are the other Paladins! How delightful, they're all in the same area. Good work Princess! We won't have to do any relocating!”

Keith and Shiro looked at eachother, then back at the screen. The yellow one looked like he pulled out a gun of some sort. Shocked himself by doing it too.

“Go on! Don't let all your fellow teammates do the hard work.” Coran ebbed them out of the ship.

By some movie magic bullshit they won without truly knowing what to do. Going into the details of their first uncoordinated and messy battle wouldn't be worth the effort. Just know it was bad and quite stereotypical for a first battle with a new team. The monster that these evil Galra things that Coran mentioned was one of those level one types. So it wasn't like they were smart and sent a boss to strike while the iron was hot, as Shiro put it. Which was good for them. Bad for the Galra. They all followed Shiro and Alluras careful commands to shoot here or stab there or watch out for that falling car Blue or holy shit seriously just watch out.

It was grueling. And by the end of it, Coran released some other magic bull shit, like fucking fairy dust sparkles, and the half destroyed city looked as if it had never been touched. As if a giant space alien thing hadn't just almost blown it to smithereens. As if Keith, Shiro, Allura, and these three other mystery people hadn't almost been killed.

What a day. Definitely one for the journal. And yes, it was a journal not a diary, no matter what Keith's annoying ass roommate said. Journals help keep track of events and important things while diarys were just something girls wrote in hoping they'd get taken so they could live their dreams of being in a cheesy Disney movie.

There was a difference.

“Good work team!” Shiro tried to smile as they all boarded the ship. The new guys marveled.

“Woah!” The green one’s eyes sparkled at the high tech looking castle interior, “What is this place?”

“This is the castle of lions!” Coran smiled waving his arms out, “it's our new base. Welcome paladins!”

The yellow guy tilted his head, looking impossibly innocent for someone of his stature, “b-base? You mean like, we're going to have to fight those guys again? Like. All the time?”

“Essentially yes. Until Zarkon and the Galra empire are taken down.” Coran played with his mustache.

“Sweet!” Keith flinched as the blue guy screamed in his ear, an arm nearly hitting him, “This is gonna be so cool! Imagine all the ladies that are going to be lining up to see a superhero.”

“Ah,” Allura spoke up, “That's probably something we should discuss.”

The newly found princess was startled when the blue paladin bowed and calmly spoke, “We can talk about it as long as you need your highness. Maybe somewhere private? Dinner perhaps?”

Keith figured by the way the Yellow and Green paladins shook their heads and tsked that the Blue one did that a lot. Of course there would be someone with that type of personality on the team. The type of personality that clashed with Keith's own. The type that Keith already had to deal with in his day to day life. He wasn't sure how he would cope with another guy like Lance. That sorry excuse for both a roommate and a reluctant friend.

Okay… he wasn't that bad. But Keith couldn't stand it sometimes.

“Blue’s not really my color,” Allura shook her head and laughed a bit.

“Back off blue,” Shiro’s voice held no malice, he actually smiled at the antic, “This one’s mine.”

The blue guy blushed. Or at least Keith thinks he did, it was hard to tell under the helmet and visor, “Ah sorry ‘bout that man.”

“Don't be. It's fine,” Shiro was never one to pick a fight for no valid reason.

“Idiot,” Keith whispered to himself before he could stop. He hoped that the guy hadn't heard, he didn't want to fight on the first day of making their team.

No luck. The blue ones head shot up, teeth baring slightly. Keith was sure that the guy was going to pounce on him, or yell at him or… something. But he froze for a millisecond before putting on a smile that made Keith's inside move in a funny way. Good funny or bad funny he couldn't tell.

“Well hello,” Blue grabbed his hand, placing a small kiss on it, “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”

Keith swiped his hand back wearing a look of shock, the blush prickling at his skin. It only deepened when Green let out a howl of laughter and was bent at the waist trying to catch their breath.

Shiro cleared his throat, clearly amused at how flustered his brother was. He could almost picture Keith glaring daggers behind his tinted visor. Laughing slightly, he tried to veer the conversation back, “We should discuss our identities.”

The blue one nodded, placing his chin in the crook between his thumb and pointer, “We have to be like Clark Kent right? And protect who we really are for the sake of our loved ones?”

Allura chuckled, probably to be polite, “Yes. Like um, Batman…?”

“Superman! How do you not know superman?” The green one exclaimed, the yellow one put a hand over its mouth to shut them up.

Shiro cleared his throat, “Okay. How about we just make this simple and go by colors. I'll be Black, the princess can be Pink, and there on.”

“What a splendid idea!” Coran seemed to brighten, “I can just go by Coran though. If you prefer.”

“Yes. Okay, then that's settled,” Allura breathed out, “We must not reveal our identities to anyone, including all of us here. The less people that know who we truly are the better. That means transforming out of sight and away from people.”

“Okay question though,” Blue interrupted, “How do we transform? Cause I kinda just tapped my ring when it started glowing and ended up like this.”

Coran smiled, “it's simple, just hold it for three seconds and say “ whatever color you are paladin! Defender of Voltron” you should be fine. Just as long as you don't let those things out of your sight.”

Coran gestured to the jewelry before twirling his moustache. Shiro coughed, “Well, then we'll just have to make sure that they're secure at all times.”

“Yes, the Lion spirits have all chosen you,” Coran leaned back on the dashboard and Keith felt like he was about to get a long lecture.

Green, who had been slumped back in their chair, hunched over to look slightly intrigued by the tale, “Lion spirits?”

“Yes! The lion spirits! Each of you has a possession that a lion has chosen specially. They were all sent to this planet with Allura when she was born and they seem to have chosen all of you,” Coran pointed his finger up towards the ceiling and smiled, “All of you must have very good souls if the lions chose you. Their original Paladins were nothing but Noble.”

“Yes but how did we not… not realize that we had their, um… spirits? Is that what you called them?” Shiro waited for Corans confirmation nod before continuing, “How did we not realize that we had them?”

Blue held out a hand too, “Yeah and how did they know that we’d buy these things?”

“Ah that is a fascinating story,” Coran pulled up a diagram in the space between them, the lights sparkling with an unreadable story, “The lions found their homes in your jewellery, as you call it, after you obtained them. They often track their potential paladins for a while before choosing and they have the ability to talk with their paladins and empathize with them. Perhaps they didn’t think that you were ready for knowledge of their existence yet.”

Keith felt a shiver run down his spine and a warming comfort pool in his stomach. Was it coming from his earring? Was that supposed to be Red? Or! Or! A better explanation for this was that Keith was currently stoned out of his mind or drugged and slumped over at Shiro’s from the obviously tainted tacos and this was all an extremely elaborate acid trip.

“Zarkon will do anything to get his hands on these spirits. Send spies or bounty hunters, or as you have seen, giant robots. The transformations should only last about four of your earth hours max before you need to reset them,” Coran nodded, before pulling what looked like a watch up to his eyes, “Which should be coming up soon. Hurry along, we wouldn't want your identities to be revealed. I’ll go over Altea’s history and the destruction next time, I’m sure you want to hear about that Princess. Your parents would've been proud of how you turned out.”

Allura just nodded, but Keith knew that she really wanted to know more than she was letting on. It was something that the both of them had wanted to know about for a long time. Back when he and Allura were both staying at the same foster home before she aged out of that particular home when Keith was nine and she was fifteen they used to sit around and talk about stuff like this. Their origins.

Keith, poor little Keith who was six years her junior was always hanging around Allura. Which was unusual for him, considering that he liked to be left alone most of the time. At first she found him annoying, Keith was almost positive of this, but she eventually warmed up to the lost child. They’d sit outside on the roof after the foster ladies would go to bed and just look at the stars and laugh about how their parents were probably somewhere in space fighting evil and just dying to come back to see them soon. It was Allura who taught Keith how much fun things like gymnastics could be, showing him how to do cartwheels and front hand springs. It was a nice way to pass those summer days at the foster home.

When she left that was the beginning of one of Keith’s dark periods. He hated describing it like that. It wasn't really all that terrible, but he supposed that there wasn't really a better name for it. He completely closed off, fearing that anyone he would get close to would have to be taken away from him again. He just… learned to adapt. It made him tougher in a way, more skeptical. His curious doe eyes didn't gleam with the same childlike wonderment. But he was still keith, and he learned how to live life. It wasn’t until the Shirogane’s adopted him that he started to feel better, he had even made a few friends at school. Lance had shouted at him and resented his “totally awesome and perfect” being at first, but once Hunk and Pidge had taken a liking towards him Lance started to warm up as well. And by the time Allura had come back into his life as his brothers fancy new girlfriend he was relatively… stable, again. Keith couldn't help but smile a bit at that thought, all the coincidences. He also couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of Allura, finally getting to see where she was from. Cause yes, Keith was at some sort of peace, and yes, he had a loving family and close friends… but that wasn't the same as knowing where you came from. Why you weren’t wanted in the first place…

“Thank you Coran,” Shiro gave a firm nod and Keith almost parroted him like a child would their parent. The man being thanked just smiled widely like he knew something they didn’t and he popped open the gate. With that they left, Coran promising to alert them via tacky jewelry when they should meet up again to train.

That was also about two weeks ago. Now Keith was about ready to kill Blue for nearly shooting him while trying to aim for a Galra. Granted it probably saved Keith a nasty blow to the head and grueling trip to those weird healing pod thingys, but Blue still could've hit him.

Slicing through a robot, Keith growled and pretended it was the other Paladin. Yellow whistled, “woah. Nice one there buddy. I think that was the last of them.”

“Alright Coran!” Blue yelled into their intercom, “Were good down here! Release the fairy dust!”

After the town magically regenerated, the paladins all marched back into the castle, Keith instantly turning to Blue, “You could've shot my head off!”

“But see, here's the thing Red,” Blue stuck up his nose, “I didn't. And I managed to save your ass. This isn't exactly the outstanding thank you that I should be getting.”

“Whatever Blue,” Keith's cheeks were hot, from anger of course, not from that confident and amused smile, “just be careful next time.”

The red paladin stomped past and into the castle before the rest of them, heading towards the main room to probably get briefed before going back to his apartment to crash. It had been a long few hours, and this stupid town was just lucky that he didn't have any homework due the next day.

“What's his deal?” He could hear Blue ask Yellow as they followed him in.

Allura was in a rush, her words jumbled as she spoke, “Alright good work today paladins! We are really bonding as a team. Some need more work than others-” she pointedly looked at Keith and Blue “-and I would love to stay and chat but this fight has taken up more time that I think any of us have anticipated. It is drawing on the fourth hour and if we do not hurry, we will transform back soon.”

With that they were all dismissed and scattered. When Keith finally made it to the apartment he didn't even have enough energy to question where Lance was or why he wasn't back. His roommate would show up eventually. Eventually.

~~~

Keith woke up to the all too chipper sound of his phone. He would have to go and get Lance out of bed soon, the guy didn't seem to wake up to his own alarms. Keiths newest task was to get him to classes on time, as strenuous and torturing it can be sometimes. And despite all those things he said, he and Lance were friends.

Ish.

They had their moments, and they lived together! That had to count for something. They also shared the same friends, and a lot of the same classes. A few were differed here and there due to time. In the slots where Keith took fencing and gymnastics classes, Lance took archery and swimming or track (depending on the season). Both majoring in astrophysics.

Keith put two toaster waffles into their little second hand toaster and wandered down the hall to their bathroom to brush his teeth. He frowned at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink, his hair was sticking up in an unattractive way. Running a comb through it and watching it pop back up, Keith huffed. It was going to be one of those days. He quickly tied as much of it up as he could, though it still looked like a mess, and left the lights on as he exited.

He decided to get dressed after eating (not wanting a repeat of the previous morning where he spilt juice all over himself and had to frantically change),  so he skipped his bedroom instead going to get Lance, yawning as he opened the door without knocking, “Lance!”

“Five more minutes,” Lance pulled the blankets over her head, tightening his grip, “The you can drag me to hell all you want.”

“I'm going to go get the water,” there was only a hint of a playful tone in his voice. Because yes, he had once thrown a bucket of water at Lance. Though, being the boy who was always oblivious to common sayings and such, he had actually thrown the bucket as well. How was he supposed to know that you were just supposed to dump the water out? No books ever specified. But regardless of Keiths slight lapse in judgement, it had made a nice bruise form on Lance’s face that stayed for a week or two.

Lance shot up not wanting a repeat, “Don't!”

“Good morning,” Keith rolled his eyes, totally not ready to deal with the image of Lance’s stupid bed head. Ya know, cause he’d just complain about it, no other reason, Keith just trying to save his ears from the barrage of complaints that his roommate would make, not cause it was endearing or any other synonym of the word, “Get up or we’ll have no time to eat.”

Once Keith was out of the room, Lance unwrapped himself from his cocoon of warmth, exposing his skin to the cold autumn air. It was way too freaking early. It was always way to freaking early.

He quickly ran into the bathroom to brushed his teeth, nearly squirting the mint toothpaste everywhere and cursing under his breath. A clean smile is a nice smile. And a nice smile woos the ladies. Pulling on a shirt and some pants that were hanging out of his closet, Lance hopped on one foot trying to get his other sock on while simultaneously exiting his room. He nearly fell over, which wasn't new. That in itself was a daily occurrence. As was Keith's side step to avoid his wobbling on his way into the kitchen. They had learned to work around each other, with each other at times as well.The toaster looked as if it had been done for a few moments before either of them had a chance to enter the kitchen, Keith ran to get plates, “Here. It's still hot be careful.”

Lance slid into the stool at the counter before he gladly stuffed some of the waffle in his mouth, but not without his usual quip, “Truly a nutritional breakfast here Keith.”

Keith  rolled his eyes and turned to pour syrup over his and Lances waffles, “Bite me. If you want something better then wake up yourself.”

“Maybe I will,” Lance took another bite, wrinkling his nose a bit at the fingers that he got sticky, “Do we grab Pidge and Hunk today?”

Keith used a fork, like a civilized person would,  “Nope. They texted earlier that they have to be there early, something about a project.”

“Perfect,” He watched as Keith shook his head at the way he licked the syrup off his fingers and waved his now cleanish hand over at the fridge, “Please?”

Keith stood again to get glasses out of the cupboard above the sink. Why couldn’t Lance just get something for himself? Why was Keith saying this in his head? “Why can’t you get your own drink ever?”

“Because I know you’ll get it for me,” Lance’s smile faltered a bit at Keith’s glare, “Keith… Buddy? Love you.”

The boy in question just rolled his eyes at the dragged out ‘you’ and poured himself a glass of orange juice and got a cup of ice for his friend, “Here.”

“What’s this?” Lance raised an eyebrow at the ice then at the sitting boy, “Ice?”

“Yep,” Keith just turned to dig around in his backpack. He made a small victory noise when he pulled out his phone.

Lance sat there for a moment, waiting to see if Keith would say anything else. But when the other boy seemed to just be mindlessly checking things on the screen, Lance poked him, “Keith I can’t drink this.”

“Wait, it’ll melt,” Keith didn’t look up still, but Lance could see the small smirk making its way to his face.

Lance sighed and forced himself to get up, “I hate you sometimes.”

“Really? I thought you hated me all the time, ” Keith started tapping at the screen, “my how far we have come.”

“Sarcasms really not appreciated,” Lance just poured the ice into a canteen and then filled his glass with Milk, “Nice hair by the way, really goes with the whole I don’t give a shit look ya got going on today.”

He could hear Keith put his phone down and when he turned Keith just had an elbow on the counter and his head in his palm. A small frown adorned his features and he sighed, “I didn’t change yet. I probably should.”

Lance watched as his roommate walked in the direction of his bedroom, leaving a quarter of his waffle untouched. Keith had been wearing a pair of grey sweats that could have honestly been Lance’s at one point, since the pant legs were too long and now had holes at the bottom from stepping on the extra fabric. It wasn’t uncommon for them to wind up with some of the others clothes since they just combined their laundry to save water, though they’d usually notice right away and return them. Usually. Keith had a problem figuring out what was his and what wasn’t since he never really paid attention to which clothes were his. Shiro was always adding hand-me-downs to his collection anyways so it was hard to keep track. Plus the clothes that Lance outgrew he would give to Keith too, if he wanted them. If not then they went to his younger siblings and Pidge to root through. But the shirt that Keith was wearing that morning had definitely been one of Lance’s, the one he had been looking for but gave up on a month ago. It was an old NASA shirt that had paint stains on it from that one time they tried to redo the living room.

Lance chuckled fondly at that memory as he reached over to eat the rest of Keith’s waffle. He had been complaining for about three months after they reluctantly moved in together about the horrible shade of red on the wall.

They had moved in together when Lance had been kicked out of student dorming back in sophomore year of highschool because some shit that his roommate did (and the both of them were blamed for) and Keith had had enough of living with Allura and Shiro. Back then they had barely known each other, having Pidge as their only mutual friend but never had they all hung out. Lance had been whining about having no place to live when he was chilling with Hunk, “Dude! I’m broke and I have nowhere to go. All my stuff is going to be put on the curb in two weeks!”

“That sucks bro,” Hunk said in a totally not sympathetic way since he was too invested in his homework and had been listening to Lance repeat the same thing for the past hour, “Good luck with that.”

Pidge was out with someone they both hadn’t caught the name of and were left in the apartment to fend for themselves. It was a Saturday, and Hunk still chose to do the extra homework that wasn’t due for another two weeks, claiming that he’d forget it by then. Honestly it was a smart idea and he probably should have followed his friend's example, but Lance just groaned again, “Hunk! How did you and Pidgey manage to get this place? It’s so cheap for like, all this room. You gotta hook a brother up.”

“Actually,” Hunk looked up from his writing, “There is this apartment upstairs that’s open for rent. The woman up there is moving to Rhode Island and had to leave almost immediately. She was so nice too, had a tiny little baby and-”

“Okay Hunk! Set it up, I wanna see it!” Lance jumped to his feet, “Imagine if we lived in the same building! All the late night movies nights that we can actually have because we won’t have to worry about student curfew!”

Hunk had just sighed, knowing Lance wouldn’t let up until he called the apartment building super and request a tour. Lance was just lucky that Hunk had fixed the guys radiator once and now they were friends.

The apartment wasn’t terribly big, but Lance was awe struck by it when Hunk unlocked the door. The foyer opened up into a decent sized living area that had two nice floor to ceiling windows. Lance was already planning everything out in his head, his TV that he got as a going away present would go right in between those windows… and the plants he had could go next to it. There was a counter connecting the kitchen area to the living room area, the place was had an open concept. Lance knew his mom would love being able to talk to him from the kitchen while he played video games with his siblings whenever they came to visit. Or if Lance ever got that special someone he had been looking for, they could talk while one of them made dinner or something.

The closet off the side of the living room had a washer and dryer in it, as well as a few shelves for soaps and things.  On the other side was a hallway. The bedrooms were adjacent from each other and the bathroom was at the end of the hall, which Lance gaped at, “Its great!”

The mirror was small but there was a lot of counter space and the tub was big and the shower head was an appropriate height. Lance practically raced into one of the bedrooms. The walls were a baby blue and the closet was a nice size. But what got Lance falling in love with it was the skylight that lined the ceiling in one nice strip in the back, “I want this room. This… is perfect.”

Hunk just rolled his eyes, “Why don't you look at the other room first.”

“Nope. This one. This one’s mine, end of story,” Lance said looking up at the sky, “I’m going to just sit here and look at the stars for hours.”

Then there was the noise. A bam! sound of some sort, like someone had bumped into something. Hunk jumped out of his skin practically, “What was that!”

“I dunno, but I take it back. I don't wanna live somewhere that's haunted,” Lance clung onto his friend, “L-let's go check it out.”

“It came from the other bed room,” Hunk pushed Lance out the door, “You go first.”

Lance rolled his eyes but there was undeniable shaking in his step as he toed the door open. He screamed.

“What! Ghosts? Lance what is it,” Hunk had clamped his eyes shut and hid behind his best friend despite being almost twice his size.

“No,” Hunk perked up curiously at Pidge’s voice, “Just us. What are you guys doing here?”

Lance just ignored the question, “Hunk it’s worse than ghosts, it’s Keith!”

“Keith?” Hunk stood up straight and tried to look past Lance’s flailing arms, “Are you sure?”

“Who are you?” Keith had eyed him, “And what are you doing in my new apartment?”

Lance stopped freaking out for a moment to glare at Keith, pointing a finger at him, “Your new apartment? I don’t think so buddy, I’m buying this place.”

“Keith, this is Lance. He was recently thrown out of student housing,” Pidge sighed, “Lance, this is Keith, his brother’s girlfriend recently moved in with him and his brother and he doesn't want to live with them.”

“I know who this is Pidge,” Lance sneered, “We’re rivals at school.”

Keith just raised an eyebrow, “Rivals? Who even are you?”

“Lance! Ya know… Lance!” He poked his finger into the other's chest harder, “You seriously can’t remember who I am?”

“Oh, you’re that kid that accidentally tripped and dropped acid all over the floor the first week of school, right?” Keith looked genuinely curious for a moment before he narrowed his eyes and swatted Lance’s hand away, “Don’t touch me.”

“Listen, you both need a place to stay,” Hunk intervened, being the voice of reason, “Why don’t you both share the apartment? I know how much you both want it. Need it even. And it’ll lower the cost even more!”

“Fine with me, I’m going to go get the forms and stuff. See you later Pidge,” Keith just waved and headed towards the door. Lance thought he was seeing red, steam coming out of his ears. How dare his rival not remember who he was? Keith had to be the most infuriating, terrible, beautifully ignorant person that he had ever met. Stopping at the door, Keith turned back to the three that were now in the hallway watching him and smirked, “Oh, and Lance was it? Rule one if we’re going to do this, don’t talk to me.”

They broke that rule within weeks of them actually moving in. Keith quickly realized that he and Lance were going to have to communicate somehow, so he went with sticky notes for the first two weeks. They were simple notes like ‘My laundry is in the washer’ or ‘were out of OJ, I’ll pick some up later’. Lance thought he was going to have to build a working friendship with a packet of post-its for the rest of his time in the apartment.To say that their first official meeting, that both of them remember that is, did not go smoothly is an understatement. It wasn’t until Allura and Shiro made a surprise house warming appearance that Keith had to say something.

“Allura, Shiro. This is my roommate Lance,” Keith shook his head at the way Lance seemed to gawk at them. It was hard not to, they were probably the most aesthetically pleasing, photographic people Keith had ever known, “Lance this is my brother, and his girlfriend.”

“You…” For a split second Keith was worried that Lance was going to hit on one of them. Pidge mentioned that he had a hard time controlling himself in front of pretty people. But instead Lance just turned to him and grinned triumphantly, “You talked to me!”

At that Shiro and Allura both gave him disappointed and confused looks, knowing that he could isolate himself it he wanted to. Thus began what Lance and Keith both hated for quite a while, their forced friendship. Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura decided that it was best for all of them to start hanging out in a group, meaning that Keith and Lance would actually have to interact. Lance, personally, had no real issue with it. He definitely didn’t want to live with a stranger, his mother would not approve, and he was open to the idea of friendship. Not necessarily a strong one, but one that was stable enough to say, “Hey Keith, is this your sock?” without the fear of getting punched. Keith didn’t seem that invested in it though.

It took a while for him to open up, the whole group thing was slowly working. Slowly being a key word. They quickly learned that they all liked hanging out together which was great because Lance didn’t have a real group of tight friends since seventh grade. And Keith didn’t have one like, ever.

Lance and Keith had gotten along better, but it wasn’t until Keith came back to the apartment to find Lance trying to pry open a paint can three months after moving in together with a chopstick that things really started to change between them. Keith dropped the groceries on the counter and stared at him, furniture moved and trash bags lining the hardwood floor, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like Keith,” Lance grunted as he tried to wedge the stick in again, “I’m obviously trying to open this.”

It was silent for a few minutes, so Lance figured that Keith lost interest and went into his room to brood or something like that. But then a screwdriver was stuck in his face and Keith’s hand was attached to it, “Here, try this.”

“Thanks,” Lance blinked for a moment, shocked that Keith was helping him. He smiled at the other boy, “Wanna help me paint over this awful red?”

Keith looked around their living room, the paint was a deep red that he honestly kind of liked, “Why?”

“It’s terrible Keith,” Lance waved his arms around, “I went out and bought this like, weeks ago but forgot about it.”

When Lance popped open the can and mixed it, Keith was slightly mesmerized by the deep blue color. Lance just continued to pour it onto the roller pan and gestured to the roller near Keith. Keith held it up cautiously, “In there?”

“Duh Keith,” Lance responded, reaching for the remote, “Mind if we watch some TV while we work?”

Lance put on one of the Friends DVDs that he had, starting at season one. Keith smiled, “I love this show.”

“You do?” Lance snorted. Keith didn’t really seem like the type to sit around and watch sit coms. Maybe documentaries, but funny little shows like Friends? Nope, never would have guess. Though Lance learned over time that one of Keith's guilty pleasures was to curl up under a blanket and go to town on Lance’s sitcom DVD collection. He caught his roommate once at three am laughing at the TV, which made Keith stutter out an excuse with an adorable blush on that didn’t go away until Lance insisted it was fine and joined him.

Keith got changed into clothes he didn’t really care about and rejoined Lance in his painting adventure. There was only an occasional laugh from one of them for quite awhile. They both decided to start on random parts of the walls, which they later regretted since Lance hadn’t bought enough paint to cover the whole room.

“What idiot doesn’t buy enough paint to paint a room?” Keith raised an eyebrow, his expression filled with amusement instead of annoyance.

Lance just shrugged, “I dunno, what kind of Idiot has paint all over his face?”

Keiths hands flew to his face to check for wet paint, but found nothing, “What? I don't ha-”

Lance smeared what was left in the bucket on to Keith’s cheek, “You were saying?”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to do and Lance was regretting it when Keith stuck his palm in the paint then hit Keith right in the middle of his face. Keith laughed at the shell shocked expression and didn’t stop until Lance sandwiched his face in between two paint colored palms of his own.

“Lance!” Keith cried out through a fit of laughter, which was honestly one of the nicest sounds that Lance had ever heard. It sounded genuinely happy, and unbound to anything. Unrestrained, light.

Lance just smiled as he stood and held a hand out, “Yes honey dearest?”

“Are you getting hungry?” Keith got up as well and tried to wipe his hands off on his shirt. His expression was still bright and if Lance squinted enough, a bit flustered from his last comment. Lance couldn’t help but think that Keith should look like that all the time, undoubtedly and purely happy. He started to walk closer to Keith, which alarmed the other into backing up win matching steps, “Lance? Are you oka-”

Keith’s eyes widened for a moment, realizing that he hd just backed up into a wall with wet paint all over it. Lance smirked, “I’m okay. You good?”

Slamming his hand into the wet wall first, Keith pushed Lance backwards and left a handprint on his NASA shirt, “Perfect.”

“Oh, you are so getting it Kogane!” Lance swiped at the wall, “Get back here!”

Lance tried to grab at Keith, who side stepped and made Lance fall face first into an area of the wall that was still red. Keith laughed, “Too slow.”

“How’s this,” Lance turned to get as much paint all over him as he could before launching himself at his roommate, “For too slow?”

Keith’s entire body shook with laughter as he tried to roll Lance off of him, “You’re heavy. Get off!”

“I don't know,” Lance let himself melt into dead weight, “I'm pretty comfy right now.”

Keith gave one hard shove and it had lance sprawling out on the trash bag covered floor with a hard sounding thud, “mm you comfy now.”

“Jesus okay, you can push pretty hard. So chinese?” Lance sat up and Keith nodded.

When the food arrived Lance paid the guy, claiming that it was the least he could do for making Keith help him paint the walls. Sort of. As they both settled in the middle of the living room, food containers placed in places without paint, they observed their handy work. Or lack thereof.

“We really fucked up these walls didn’t we?” Lance let out a low whistle, “I think I can see an imprint of my face on that one.”

Keith shrugged, “They're one of a kind now.”

It was true. No one else in the world had walls that were painted inconsistently in both blue and red with terrible hand prints and smears everywhere. Probably.

“That’s true,” Lance nodded, “First home renovation and we can’t say that we didn’t make it special.”

Keith just hummed, “Yeah…”

Lance still didn’t know a lot about Keith at that point, and Keith probably didn’t know a lot about him either. Which was fine, they were still growing.

“So, why did you need to move out of Shiro and Allura’s?” Lance asked since he never really knew why, “I had to move because my roommate decided to pull a prank on the dean and I got blamed too. So what was it? Were they being to lovey dovey?”

Lance was worried that he over stepped somehow when Keith went quiet. Putting down the container, Keith leaned back on his palms to stare out the big windows at the stars. His reply was so quiet that Lance almost didn’t catch it, “It’s exactly because of what you just said.”

“What? They were being too coupley?” Lance copied the other's movements. The stars were so bright that night.

Keith shook his head, “No. You called it Shiro and Allura’s. It was never really my home.”

“What?” Lance raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure people called it Keith and Shiro’s before Allura moved in.”

“Not what I meant,” Keith sighed and went silent for another moment, “I never really felt at home there. Like it was mine. It was always Shiro’s place to me. And Allura fits in there now, so it was time for me to start over.”

Lance turned to face him, “So this place can be your home now.”

Lance didn’t really get it. But maybe that’s because he’s always had a place to call his home. Surrounded by people he loved and memories that were irreplaceable. A place where he knew that he could just be himself, a place where he didn’t have to worry about doing things like turning a perfectly painted room into shit and getting kicked out. And Keith… well. Lance had heard enough of his story to know that Keith probably never had any of that.

“Maybe…” Keith’s reply came after a while, his purple eyes still focused on the stars but his expression wistful.

That was about three years ago. Now they were close friends that were going to the same college that was joint with their old high school. Still living together. Still hung out with the same friends. Still had that same crappily painted living room.

Lance couldn’t help but wonder if Keith considered their apartment his home now.

“We promised Allura to stop by to help pick out flowers for the wedding,” Keith walked back in fully dress, “Are you okay? You look dazed.”

“Yeah it’s all good. Just… thinking,” Lance replied, still a bit out of it.

Keith waved a hand in front of his eyes then snapped until Lance blinked, “Don’t hurt yourself there.”

“Shut up Keith,” Lance swatted his hand away, “I’m smart.”

Keith just shrugged, “Whatever you say. Anyways, were you listening? Allura and Shiro need us after school so don’t forget.”

“As if I would forget to help them plan the most upcoming wedding of the century,” Lance tugged on his backpack, “You better not forget.”

“I won't.” Keith laughed, slipping on his shoes to run out of the door. Initiating an unspoken challenge.

Lances legs picked up speed as he chased his friend out of the two story complex and down the street, “Good!”

“Good!” Keith called out from over his shoulder.

Lance let out an aggravated howl. And by the time they entered the school grounds they were panting at Pidge and Hunks feet.

“Why the hell are you guys so sweaty? It's not even seven thirty yet!”

~~~

This paladin stuff required a lot of running since there was no other convenient mode of transportation. None of them owned a car, or rather the ones who did were not confident about not crashing in the haste. Obviously the bus was out, and Lance could pull out his bike but what would he do with it once he got to the fight? Just leave it there? Oh hell no, not after he has kept it safe all those years with his trusty bike lock.

So yes. Lance was extremely happy that his mother had forced her baby flash into running track since fourth grade. No matter how Lance looked at it, he was grateful for his mother chiding him and pushing him to run. Imagine if he didn't! Yeah he had Archery as a sport but that didn't do much for your cardiovascular health.

He remembered the first time he was called into battle. Or, rather the first time that he, Hunk, and Pidge were. They were all over for a movie night at his place, obviously since they do that every week. But this time Keith was over at Allura and Shiro’s for dinner so they were down a person for popcorn.

How awkward would that have been if Keith were there too? They'd all see their glowing jewelry shit and have to leave him there while they were pulled towards the center of town. Or maybe he'd pass out like Hunk almost did when they transformed into their armour. Whatever it was, Lance was sure that it was fate that Keith remained oblivious to the fact that he and Blue were the same person. What would he do if he found out that his friends were also members of Voltron? Probably tell Allura and Shiro… then they’d get the ‘that's dangerous be careful’ speech from their parents away from home.

And that wasn't a conversation that Lance really wanted to have. Again.

The first time he had met Black, Pink and Red, Lance was shocked for a lack of a better word. He supposed that a three man team wouldn't have been that effective against the shit they were facing, but he wasn't sure what to expect. Pink was beautiful, that much was obvious. And of course Lance could see how Black was perfect for someone like her. Only Shiro and Allura’s future children would be able to compete with Pink and Black’s in the looks department. And every other department. Lance thought it was unfair that god or some being out there made two sets of perfect beings.

After hitting on Pink and thoroughly embarrassing himself, not that he really noticed, Lance saw Red. Well, heard him. And yes, Lance had just finished being starstruck over the only female there but there was something about the tiny pout on Red’s lips that made him smile and want to tease him Using one of his classic lines, he was delighted to see a hint of pink on the little bit of skin that the helmets revealed. Lance had to grudgingly admit that Red was something of a looker, adorable even.

Not that he’d ever say anything like that aloud. Not anymore anyways. Not after he and Red developed some sort of rivalry or something.

This whole paladin stuff is fun, trust him. Lance loved being a paladin. Coran had graciously explained to them the next day how everything was supposed to go down. It sounded, for a lack of better words, dangerous. But unique and fun. Might kill them, but fun.

“You will all be responsible for saving not only this world, but many other planets as well!” Coran had smiled widely, clasping his hands together, “You will form the Voltron team! Led by Black and the Princess of course. You’ll all be heros! Defenders of the Universe!”

Lance liked the sound of that. Heros! It sounded daring and cool, like he was. He could finally show everyone that he was good for something, even if that something was putting his life on the line for everyone else.

“Do you ever think it's strange that they wait until after school?” Lance asked, running towards the center of town yet again, “I mean. Do you think maybe the evil mastermind has school too and that's why he never attacks during the day.”

“As important as an education is Blue,” Pidge was slightly behind him, “I doubt that Zarkon waits until after school hours. You probably just jinxed us.”

“Ah Black you're so lucky,” Lance waved his hand, the black paladin turning to him, “You don't have to deal with the woes of school life.”

“Wait until you join the work force,” Black smiled, if they weren't running Lance was sure that he would've crossed his arms, “You're going to beg to go back to school. Try to save up for a wedding on top of college debt too.”

“You're getting married?”

Black looked a little confused by the question. He tried to study what he could from Lance's face. Had he mentioned this before and Lance just forgot or wasn't paying attention? Black slowed down, chuckling awkwardly, “Didn't I tell you?”

“Not that I remember,” Lance blinked. Pidge looked up at him with a laugh.

“But Blue has always been a bit slow.”

“Not funny Green,” Lance squawked, “I remember plenty of things-”

“Sure you do”

“-and, as a matter of fact, I just remembered that I'm missing some wedding planning right now too.”

“You're getting married?” Pidge bit down on their bottom lip at Blacks question, hitting him in the side.

Lance swore he heard Pidge whisper, something to Black along the lines of ‘if he doesn't’

“Nah,” Lance waved his hand and shrugged, “My two friends are. This college kids still single.”

“I wonder why,” Pidges voice was dripping with sarcasm while they tried to conceal a laugh. That was always a weird saying to Lance, dripping with sarcasm. It was accurate enough cause it was as if Pidge had plunged their words into liquified sarcasm and the extra was falling off of it. But still, it was a weird image.

“Guys!” Hunk called from his spot just a few feet behind them, his voice worried, “Guys! Look at that!”

Lance's full attention was drawn to the newest robot contraption thingy. It was huge, “oh fuck.”

“Alright team!” Pink’s voice was kind of static in their helmets, “This robeast is armed!”

Hunk and Red had come up behind them, Hunk panicking, “Armed? Like, he has a gun or like, several arms? Or both, oh god don't let it be both! Princess tell me it's not both!”

“Calm down yellow,” Black commanded as firmly as he could, “We have to just take this step by step.”

The battle wasn't as long as they had anticipated from the size of the monster. It took maybe an hour at most, Red and Pidge worked to cut off its arms (“Its both Yellow. It's arms are infused with rifles of some sort”) and then Lance shot through the plate on its back and it was down.

The easiness of it all made them a little weary. But that didn't stop them from going back to the conveniently hidden spaceship to celebrate.

~~~

“She's just magnificent, isn't she?” Lance was gawking at the new student sitting across the courtyard, “Her name is Nyma, how foreign and perfect.”

Keith scoffed as he stabbed his salad with a little more force than necessary, annoyed at Lance's latest antics. Hunk whined, “Dude come on! Finish eating, we gotta get to the cafe.”

“Why?” Lance raised an eyebrow, “You wanna go see your girlfriend before her shift ends?”

“She's not my girlfriend, she just happens to be a really nice barista that I admire very much and who also happens to be in the same fine culinary arts class as me,” Hunk pointed a finger in a matter of factually way. It was true! Shay was nothing more than a friend (sadly) and he did like hanging out with her in culinary class. The girl knew how to cook, and like people always said: the way to a man’s heart is throughout his stomach. And man did Hunk love those little tartlets that Shay seemed to magically make with ease.

Pidge snickered, they knew that Hunk had somewhat connected with the part time Barista that Allura had hired at her and Shiro's cafe, “Yeah, the blush really helps your case there.”

“Shut up Pidge,” Hunk mumbled, hands hiding his face, “Just hurry up so we can go!”

“Should I go talk to her?” Lance all but ignored Hunks exasperation, “I mean, I am the smoothest, most handsome person here. I should show her around.”

“What you should do is finish eating,” this time it was Keith that glared at him. Lance looked him dead in the eyes and brought his fork full of leftover pasta to his mouth as slowly as humanly possible. Keith growled in response, “Lance!”

“Yeah cupcake?” Lance feigned innocence, batting his eyes to really sell it, “Whatever am I doing wrong?”

Pidge didn't know whether or not the pinkish color on Keith cheeks was from frustration or something else, but they knew that they had to stop Lance before everyone started screaming again, “C’mon Lance. Allura and Shiro need us to go help them deliver the invitations.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance waved them off, finally covering the Tupperware and putting it back in his bag, “I hear you. You guys go first, I'm just going to talk to her.”

Hunk didn't need to be told twice, “Alright buddy. But don't forget to show your face since we have no more classes today, Shiro and Allura will be pretty upset if they find out you ditched for a girl.”

“Mmhm. Got it Hunk, don't piss off Shallura,” Lance waved his hand, “hurry up before you miss Shay.”

Hunk mumbled something along the lines of “for the last time we're not dating!” before Pidge presumable cut his rant off with a pull on his shirt and an annoyed sounding “shut up Romeo and let's just go!”

There was shuffling that Lance barely registered in his day dreams of sweeping Nyma off her feet. The chattering growing quieter and quieter until the faint buzzing was non existent. Lance sighed, finally alone and allowed to shamelessly look from afar for as long as he pleased. Or… so he thought. He jumped slightly when Keith's voice was directly shot into his ear, “What's a Shallura?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Keith! Give a guy some warning,” Lance turned to glare at Keith, the two jumping far apart when their noses accidentally touched. Coughing after choking on what seemed like air, Lance put his hands on his knees to catch his breath, “ how old are you exactly?”

“Nineteen,” Keith deadpanned, rubbing at his nose, “Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Shallura is Shiro and Allura's couple name, duh Keith,” Lance blinked. Keith did nothing but stare at him blankly. Groaning and shaking his head, Lance walked back over to sling an arm around his friend, “Y’know like… Brangelina or B-Zee.”

Keith managed to cross his arms, “Okay?”

“You're obviously not getting this,” Lance placed his chin between his fingers, “It's like… well… ours would be Leith. Or Klance. It's our names just smushed together.”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard,” Keith glared, crinkling his nose in a way that was definitely not adorable, “What idiots come up with this stuff.”

It wasn't a question. But Lance treated it as if Keith was genuinely asking, “Me. I come up with this stuff. Personally I like Klance for us, it has more of my name which is obviously better. Keith is such a douchebag name.”

“It is not,” Keith huffed, “But that's fine with me. My name comes first like how I manage to beat you at everything.”

Lance sputtered a bit, “Well there's more of my name in it so… uh… there! I win.”

“That makes zero sense,” Keith just shook his head with a slightly exasperated sigh, “It's just a dumb name.”

“It is not! It's cute and creative,” Lance ran a hand through his hair, “Like me.”

“So it's extra stupid,” Lance hated the way Keith always rolled his eyes. Especially when he did it without any real annoyance, just slight amusement. Like now, why did he have to make that face. It was so… friendly? Endearing? Like he was enjoying fighting. Lance won't deny that sometimes it was fun, and more often than not now a days their arguments had more fond undertones compared to the absolute detestation they held when they first met. But that was also what annoyed him! What gave Keith the right to look like that?

“Rude Keith. I'll prove to you it's not stupid,” Lance mimicked Keith and crossed his arms.

The other didn't look too impressed, “How?”

“Um…” Lance looked around. How was he going to prove it? Ask someone? He could sense that someone was walking past them behind Lance, so he spun around quickly to get the stranger's attention, “Hey! Could you settle something for- Nyma?”

Keith let out a snort at the unnaturally high octave that Lance's voice reached. The girl that Lance had shot his arm out at blinked in surprise, “Hi? Do I know you?”

“Not yet,” Lance regained his posture and winked at her, surprised when she didn't turn away in with that unsure look that most people had, “but we could get to know each other.”

Lance was finally going to get somewhere with someone. This time he'd do everything right. He was going to pull out all of the stops, pull on every Disney movie he's ever watched. Nyma and her beautiful blonde head was going to be his. And they were going to slowly fall in love everyday and use those stupid cliche wedding vows and name their kids something along the lines of Marco and Lucille and die old together in a house on a nice hill looking over the sunset. Yes. He was certain of it.

~~~

Keith was a big enough person to admit that Lance was somewhat good looking. Okay, very good looking. With his stupid eyes and lean tall body and his broad shoulders from all that swimming and… okay off track here. Point is, he was attractive, which made it kind of confusing for Keith who didn't understand why Lance hadn't had a significant other  in a while. It wasn't like Lance didn't put himself out there. And it wasn't like there were no rumors of Sally or Jane or whatever people were named now a days having a crush on Lance.

And don't get Keith wrong. He was secretly grateful there were zero chances of him walking in on something he would want to forget. But he still had to wonder.

There was something more to Lance than just his looks though. Which, Keith figured, deterred some people. His personality was bright and excited and overall big and loud. It wasn't something everyone could handle. He was a self proclaimed flirt extraordinaire and often stated how he was the meme god's gift to the world. Whatever that meant. Some people didn't understand him or ridiculed him for his seemingly too optimistic outlook. They called him naive, claimed he would miss the really important things and do everything for show. People thought he wouldn't be able to handle a real relationship. That he was too out there for most people's taste.

But Keith just thought he was a goofball. A dork with a big mouth. There was nothing wrong with that.

Though many people didn't have to live with Lance either. Keith could sometimes see how Lance could be irresponsible, forgetful or spacey. He thought something along those lines when they first met. But he always did what he had to do and then some when it counted.

It was little things that he did. He still called his mom to say goodnight everyday at exactly nine thirty like clockwork. He looked out for that weird computer part that Pidge desperately needed to complete their super computer whenever they went out shopping. He could instantly tell when any of them needed cheering up, and would just crack a joke and smile. If it came down to it he would always shut up and be a good pair of ears to vent to.

Keith liked the small things he did around the apartment too. Like buying Keith his chunky peanut butter and eating that with Keith in order to save money even though he personally preferred the creamy kind. Or that He often draped a blanket over Keith if he found the boy snoozing on the couch, and if he was feeling adventurous and sure that Keith was in a deep enough sleep he would carry him into his room. Or that Lance had memorized his schedule down to a T and reminds him when he has to do things with a simple “oh Keith aren't you going late for that flipping or whatever practice with Allura?” Or “you have that weird English thing due tomorrow right?” They were subtle reminders that he could have bragged about remembering. Or at least he could have held it over Keith's head that he himself didn't remember some of the times. But he didn't gloat about how good of a person he was for doing these sort of things.

The little things reminded Keith that Lance wasn't actually a terrible person, and that if you got to know him he was actually nice to hang around. They reminded Keith why he shouldn't just kill Lance in his sleep with the knife under his pillow on particularly trying days when his patience was wearing thing.

Nyma was giggling into her palm, “What is it that you needed settled?”

“Oh nothing it was stupid,” Lance waved his hand, trying to play his outburst off.

Keith raised an eyebrow, “So you admit that it's stupid?”

“No,” Lance turned to shoot Keith a look, “it's not stupid, I just don't want to bother poor Nyma over here with our stupid fight that you clearly have lost.”

“Oh I wouldn't want to get in the middle of a fight between…” Nyma shifted her gaze from one boy to the other, obviously trying to find the right word to describe whatever she thought they were.

“Rivals,” Lance supplied at the same time Keith just stated, “Roommates.”

Nyma looked slightly confused, “Rival roommates?”

“Yep… roommates… who are also rivals.” Lance trailed off, “But that's not important. The names Lance, how would you feel about going to get some coffee sometime?”

Nyma eyed Keith one more time, making him squirm a little, before turning to Lance, “That would be lovely actually.”

“Really?” Lance sounded genuinely shocked.

Nyma just nodded and Lance let out a whoop. Keith tapped his foot in slight irritation as he waited for them to exchange contact information. They had to get to Allura and Shiro's okay? So of course he was a little antsy. And this girl… she didn't sit quite right with him. He was a person that followed his instincts and right now, they told him to stay away from this girl. Red flashing lights and everything going off in his mind.

“Oh what a nice ring,” Nyma commented as she handed Lance his phone back.

Lance put on what Keith thought was supposed to be a flirty smile, “Thanks. One of a kind, it's really something special.”

“I can tell,” Nyma waved, smile dazzling, “See you around Lance.”

Lance was just a stuttering mess, “Yea. You see soon. I mean! See you soon!”

Lance claimed he was in love. Keith said he was being ridiculous.

~~~

“I don't get what Keith's problem is,” Lance said as soon as he squeezed into the booth Pidge and Hunk were occupying. They had probably been at Alluras cafe for at least thirty minutes, meaning his was thirty minutes late. Pidge already had their computer out and was typing away at something again while Hunk was looking over at the counter where Shay was wiping down the espresso machine.

“What did he do this time?” Pidge didn't even look up, “you guys were pretty late.”

“Well, since you asked, he snapped at me again,” Lance glared at nothing, “He said I was being stupid when I said I was in love.”

“What?” Pidge turned to him, “You told him what?”

“I told him I was in love with Nyma,” Lance casually stated, “And then he totally flipped for no reason.”

Okay, maybe Lance was exaggerating a bit. Keith didn't scream or anything, just did that stupid pouty mumbling to himself not at all adorable thing that Lance hated. He liked it when Keith smiled at him, and couldn't Keith be happy for his friend? Maybe reward Lances efforts with at least a tiny smile. Pat him on the shoulder and say, good going dude you totally got her in the bag good luck. Except maybe say it in a more Keith way.

“Who is this girl again?” Pidge couldn't help but ask. The people that Lance claimed to love and die for were always somewhat interesting. Or more accurately it was interesting to hear about the different ways someone could be turned down. Pidge had faith in their friend though, Lance would open his eyes and see someone perfect for him one day. And if he was too stupid to use common sense, Pidge would just have to beat it into him.

“Nyma, just moved here the other day. She's breathtaking. Has the prettiest eyes too. Only the most beautiful people on this earth must have that weird purpley color. It's definitely special,” Lance looked starstruck and Pidge looked to the side of him, as if they were on the office, “she has a nice shy smile, oh god. She seems so calm and collected but she's got this fiery bold passion in her, I can tell. She and I are going to go on tons of daring adventures together.”

“Seems like you have a type,” Pidge mumbled to themselves while Lance continued to ramble on obliviously.

“And guess who has her phone number, that's right. Me! I actually got it,” lance looked like he was swooning.

“Wait what?” Pidge snorted, obviously not expecting that, “I mean. Good for you but wow.”

“Don't act so surprised pidgey, I got game,” Lance pointed two thumbs to himself, “She and I are going to live happily ever after.”

“I dunno Lance,” Hunk tore his eyes away from the counter, eyebrows scrunched together, “I kinda have a bad gut feeling about her.”

“Ugh, not you too! I've already had it up to here,” Lance raised his arm as far as it would reach, “with Keith and Red. I don't need this from you too buddy. Please!”

“What did Red do?” Lance looked at Pidge like their question had personally attacked his mother or something.

“What do you mean what did he do?” Lance waved his arms around erratically, “He's so annoying and a know it all! He practically hates me for no reason!”

“I don't see how this relates to Nyma,” Pidge just gave him a blank look, “but you did goaded him into running into a wall the first day of training and you started another stupid rivalry with him like the non-existent one you have with Keith.”

“He's still stupid,” Lance groaned and threw his head back, “Aren't you guys supposed to be on my side, you are my friends?”

“Yeah but we're also Keith's friends if you haven't noticed,” Pidge closed their laptop and scooched out of the booth, “I've just reached my Lance limit. I'll be in the back of you need me.”

~~~

Shiro wanted to shoot himself. Which, in itself, wasn't a rare passing thought (alarmingly enough). But this time it wasn't his well hidden and deeply buried emo side making a surprise appearance. No, it was Keith that was currently making Shiro wish that his brains were splattered about the table instead of inside his head.

In Shiro’s defense, Allura also looked like she was moments from strangling herself. Keith just continued to pace in front of the table, unusually talkative. But that was probably because he was ranting, “Blue is so, Agh! I already have to deal with Lance on top of it! They're like the same person Shiro, except not! How is it that I somehow am stuck with the two of the most infuriating idiots on this planet day in and day out!”

Allura and Shiro exchanged looks. Not quite sure if they should interject. Keith looked at them expectedly and Allura shrugged, “It's fate Keith, what do you want us to do about it?”

“I dunno! Something?” Keith groaned, face in his palms, “Separate us in battle? Let me come live with you guys again for a bit?”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, he didn't like the nearly hysterical tone his brother was using, the break room in the back of their cafe wasn't the most ideal place for a freak out, “You don't hate Lance. You guys are friends, I'm sure you'll learn to get along with Blue like you have Lance. Working towards things like that will make you a better person.”

“Shiro I'm not sure how much more dumbassery I can take in a day,” Keith waved his arms, “Lance was one thing. I could… ya know, actually see his face. At least I can tell the difference between his I'm joking face and his I'm dead serious face.”

How could they not see that Keith was having a serious crisis? Lance was his friend, he wasn't a stranger. He'd like to think that he knows a lot of Lance trivia since the stupid little facts about him have reluctantly stuck with Keith over the years. The funny way he plays with his thumb and ring finger when he's nervous or how whenever he walked around he avoided cracks at all cost just to be safe. Lance was familiar and… safe.

Blue was a complete mystery. A very Lance like mystery. But still, a complete shadow in the dark. Keith was having a hard time trusting the Paladins his didn't know under the masks. How can you trust someone when you don't even know their name?

“But what do they do that makes it so unbelievably unbearable?” Allura rolled her eyes, continuing filling up sugar containers without much thought, “Sweetie pass me that one?”

Keith watched as Shiro handed over the empty and washed container before continuing his rambling, “They're both just so aggravating! I can't describe it. I thought that I'd only be able to feel this way about Lance but now Blue too. I think my tolerance for stupidity has dropped.”

“Or you are just being sensitive to his- their, taunts,” Shiro sighed, “Why don't we change the subject, why were you guys late today?”

Allura looked up at that one, raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips slightly, “Yes. We've been waiting for almost half an hour, you're lucky Shay came in late today and insisted on staying extra to fill up the time.”

“It wasn't my fault,” Keith pouted, crossing his arms and glaring at the tiles, “Lance was flirting with some girl.”

“Oh?” Allura laughed, head tilted slightly, “And pray tell, why were you there? I'm sure Lance could strike out all on his own without a wingman.”

“I was trying to get his sorry ass over here before you drop kicked him into next week.”

Allura looked like she was contemplating something for a moment, “fair enough. Continue, how did he fail miserably this time.”

“He didn't. He got her number. Nyma, like that's a real name,” Keith was slightly amused by how shocked they both seemed, “But something's off about her.”

“Well, normally i'd agree since I can't picture anyone that actually falls for Lance’s lines being exactly right in the head,” Allura sniggered, “But are you sure? She could just be that one in a million person.”

“Allura, I'm serious,” Keith shook his head, “Something's off! My instincts are telling me to avoid her and that Lance probably should too.”

Allura topped off the sugar and screwed the lid on tight. She shot Shiro the ‘this is your problem now sucker’ look before getting up, “I'm going to go relieve Shay of her duty now.”

Keith looked helplessly at Shiro, “You believe me, right?”

“Well…” Shiro scratched at the back of his head. He was luckily saved by Pidge bursting back in through the door Allura just exited.

“If I have to hear one more word outta Lance's mouth I'm going to stab him with- woah what's with the face? You look like you're also about twenty seconds from murder.”

“Nyma,” Shiro just shrugged and picked up the list of supplies that needed to be bought, “Some girl that-”

“Lance actually got the number of! Yes I've heard!” Pidge groaned and took a seat, “I'm blocking all of this out, I've heard enough about this chick to last me two years.”

Shiro started to check things off the list and there was a brief, wonderful moment of uninterrupted silence. Keith looked between his two friends incredulously, internally freaking out. He had to warn them, or at least get his point across.

“I'm telling you Shiro,” Keith shook his head as his brother did his stock orders, “Something's not right about her.”

“You know,” Pidge called out from the corner where they were huddled up. The break room was small but was the spot that had the best wifi in the cafe, “Normally I would just say that you were jealous or something but-”

“I'm not, what would I even be jealous of?” Keith looked like a strange mix between completely baffled and annoyance, “And I thought you weren't listening anymore.”

“I said but, jeez cool it there,” Pidge waved their hand, “to answer your question first, of her. Duh Keith, and secondly, as I was saying. I would normally just say you were jealous but Hunk had a weird feeling about her too…”

“Hunk?” Shiro finally looked interested, pausing his stock orders, “Why? What did he say?”

Pidge merely shrugged, “Some stuff about his gut not agreeing with her. But then again she was the reason we were late to see Shay so he could've just been upset.”

“No something is wrong,” Keith insisted, turning to Shiro, “Why do you only seem invested when Hunk says something's up?”

“Keith you… you and Lance… you're not…” Shiro seemed to struggle for a minute before he tried to switch gears, “What did she do?”

At that Keith pulled out a chair and crossed his arms, “She was just all giggly.”

“Did she say anything weird though? Or was it just the fact that she actually found Lances flirting amusing that's got you on edge?” Pidge raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“She was all like,” Keith coughed and raised his voice to mock her. Normally he wouldn't stoop to that level of childishness, but he was only human. And he was annoyed so, “that would be lovely. What a nice ring you got there. Ohhh Lance you're amazingly cool!”

Shiro and Pidge exchanged what could've actually been a worried look before the door opened again.

“I am amazingly cool,” Lance threw his jacket onto the table, the room was growing increasingly smaller, “You finally admit it?”

“No,” Keith glared, “In what world would make you think that I-”

Pidge snickered, “He was imitating your girlfriend.”

“Nyma?” Lance looked at Keith kind of shocked, he narrowed his eyes “Good imitating or bad imitating?”

Keith must have had the oddest look on his face, but he ignored the question, “I’m heading back to the apartment. I have a lot of work to do, call me if you need anything.”

Shiro sighed, “Okay, but you have to be here for stuff tomorrow, you know how crazy all this planning is making Allura.”

“Got it.” Keith nodded on his way out, “I won’t be late tomorrow.”

Shiro nodded and Pidge waved as Keith made his way to the back exit. Lance startled them by grabbing his jacket too, “I’m just gonna head back home too. See you guys later. Hey Keith wait up!”

When the door was closed all the way Pidge mumbled, “Shiro, they are two of the dumbest people I have ever met.”

~~~

They convened in the backroom when the shop was closed. Pidge was the first to speak in an ominous voice, “Thank you all for meeting me here. We are here to-”

“Pidge cut it out, it’s creepy when you do that voice,” Hunk pulled out a chair and sat down in it, “What is this all about anyways? Where are Lance and Keith?”

“Well, if i weren’t so rudely interrupted,” Pidge shot him a glare, “You would know that we're here to talk about them.”

Shiro and Allura’s cafe was mostly dark now, the lights having been turned off to tell customers that they were no longer open. The place still smelled like freshly brewed coffee and tea though, which was calming. Allura placed a hand over Shiro’s on top of the table, “Go on Pidge.”

“Okay, firstly, we all know that we’re also those new paladins that have to save the world right?,” Pidge looked at the three others, “Right?”

Shiro blinked, “Oh… So we’re acknowledging it?”

“Yeah I thought we were just going for a ‘let’s just not get into it’ sorta thing,” Hunk added, “It took me a day to realize it. But when I did I was like ‘woahhh this is awesome. And crazy. But mostly awesome cause it’s you guys!’”

“Yeah it took us a week to figure it out,” Allura gestured to herself and Shiro.

Pidge still couldn't believe that it was true. Pidge had seen it from the moment they had all met up at the first battle. Their friend group had turned into a group of superhero fighters.

And people said that they couldn't possibly get closer.

At this point in their life, Pidge wasn't even surprised that it was them that got chosen to make up a weird ass team fighting for a weird ass cause. What Pidge was shocked about was the fact that not everyone immediately figured it out. Sure, Shiro, Hunk, and Allura didn't take that long to piece things together, but it still took a bit of time! To Pidge, the whole thing couldn't have been more obvious from the very start! Hell, Lance and Keith still had no fucking clue what was going on.

“It's literally a helmet. It's not super hard when you're not oblivious and stupid,” Shiro rolled his eyes, “these things don't even change our voices. And we're all friends, we've all basically memorized everyone's mannerisms.”

“Yep you would think that right,” Pidge deadpanned, “Now to the problem with all of this. Instead of complaining about just Keith, Lance complains about his alter ego as if they're two different people.”

“That's cause he thinks they are two different people!” Hunk cried out, “How?!”

Allura perked up, “Well if it helps, Keith still has no idea either.”

“They're just… a little… I don't know.” Shiro sighed, “Should we tell them?”

“No!” Pidge shouted, before coughing to compose themself, “This could Be fun. Don't ruin your kids fun Shiro.”

“I don't know Pidge,” the older male shook his head.

“But think about it. They should discover something like this themselves,” Pidge a smirk grew a little more, “Imagine their faces when they find out.”

“Mm,” Hunk put on a thoughtful look, “Terrified. I bet they'd be down right terrified.”

Shiro sighed, “Okay. But just because I think it'd be hilarious when they find out.”

“Oh I will be so disappointed if I miss it!” Pidge smiled, when something struck them, “That means that Lance hit on Keith technically when they first met as Red and Blue, which means that there was something that caught his eye at first glance.”

Shiro sighed and spoke quietly enough that Allura was the only one that heard, “I thought this was a meeting to talk about how oblivious they were to the whole paladins then. I didn’t know this was to address their refusal to acknowledge other things too.”

“Are you kidding me? Lance was like that when he first met Keith as Keith too,” Hunk shook his head.

Pidge and Shiro both shot him a look this time, puzzled. Pidge started to frantically wave their arms, a giant up to no good grin covering their entire face, “What! When!”

“Yeah, Keith told me that the first time Lance ever talked to him it was something about a rivalry and consisted of just screaming,” Shiro’s face was priceless, “he didn't stop complaining about it for hours!”

“Keith didn't remember it obviously since he didn't even remember Lance when they were looking at the apartment but Lance hit on him, like, the first day of school.”

“Wait seriously?”

Hunk put a finger to his chin, “Well I think it was more like Lance tried to when Keith turned around and it turned into ‘Did it hurt when- u-uh ah, y-you- pretty eyes… I mean. Hi! Hello, names Lance.’ He’ll deny it to hell and back though.”

“What did Keith say?” Pidge was up in his face now, face filled with amusement.

“He was just like,” Hunk put on the most annoyed looking face he could muster, “‘Keith.’ And then he turned back around.”

Allura smiled, “Oh i’m never letting him live this down.”

“Okay, but one more thing,” Shiro coughed, “What do we do about this… Nyma person?”

“Oh yeah, bad news,” Hunk shook his head, “Bad vibes everywhere.”

Pidge sighed, “But Lance thinks that she's his soulmate.”

“Well… I guess we're just going to have to see where it goes then,” Allura said firmly, “Give her a chance.”

~~~

Lance absentmindedly flipping through channels while Keith was on his phone. Homework was done and the clock read somewhere close to three am. He looked up when Lance snorted, “Tch. This show is so unrealistic.”

“Hm?” Keith looked at the screen, “Pokemon?”

“Yeah,” Lance pointed at the characters, “How do they not realize that’s team rocket? They see them like, every day. You’d think that they’d be able to tell.”

“Well, it is a kids show Lance,” Keith shrugged, yawning and clicking his phone off “Kids aren’t that smart, maybe they can’t tell.”

“You’d have to be a special brand of stupid to be that oblivious though,” Lance changed the channel.

“Yeah.” Came another yawn.

A few beats later Lance turned to see his friend’s sleepy looking eyes, trying to fight it. Lance smiled at the content look on Keith’s face once his eyes gave in and closed, “welcome home Keith.”

They fell asleep a little after that, curled up in blankets with the TV still on and empty takeout containers littering their botched up living room.

ech. Should I continue this or scrap it and redo it? I'm still super worried that I'm writing this completely wrong so lmk if I am lol.

Also this is only the first chapter and its like 36 pages (15,162 words) long. So I'm kinda worried about length. Future chapters will probably not be this long... eh. Probably, I have a tendency to over write things. BUT CONGRATS TO YOU, YOU MADE IT THROUGH 36 PAGES OF MY CRAP!

AGAIN  if you wanna hmu for anything here on tumbr you can! Im currently taking prompts to distract me in between writing this when I need a break.

#klance #vld #SYAH #see you at home (fanfiction) #i hate tagging characters when its related to shipping things #penguin writes