#in this way everything Hidan loves is made into a god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

actuallysaiyan · 2 years

Note

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU 🎉

Nickname: Aerith

Pronouns: She/Him

Personality Traits: Religious, friendly, sweet, intelligent, creative, hyper (sometimes), thoughtful, giggly, clumsy, feisty, arrogant, mean-spirited, provocative, foul-mouthed, sarcastic, frightful, sensitive, bold, and savage

Personality Type: INFJ

Star sign: Libra sun, Sagittarius moon, Cancer rising, and Libra venus

Hobbies: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (from rock to kpop), chatting or blogging on Tumblr, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons or beauty pageants [on YouTube], writing, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks.

Fandom: Naruto

Who do you love most in that fandom: Tenten, Itachi, Kaguya

Who do you hate in that fandom: Fūka

Would you rather be matched with a man or a woman: Man

Smut: Yes

Anyone you don't want to be matched with: Characters with HUGE age gaps (e.g. Madara and co.)

Ideal date: Late night drives + music + coffee or drive thru

My Life In...

Naruto

After some extensive research, we've concluded that you are best matched with... HIDAN! Congrats!

In this universe, you and Hidan are living your lives together, still being mercenaries. Still, the love that grew has become so strong now. Here's you love story...

Matched with: Hidan Skills/career: You’re part of the Akatsuki, and you have a kekkei genkai that allows you to use creative skills to be used as attacks. Song: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys Best Friends: Itachi, Kisame, DeidaraLove at first sight: Not exactly.

How you met: You were inducted into the Akatsuki due to your village needing some protection. At first, you didn’t really like Hidan. He just rubbed you the wrong way. It became a little more obvious how alike you two could be when Itachi and Kisame pointed it out. Eventually, you found yourself drawn to Hidan. Something about his demeanor just slowly became endearing in a way. And soon you were grouped together with him and Kakuzu.

How you fell in love: It took a long time. But the more time you spent with him, you just couldn’t help falling for the guy. His smile became so infectious. And he showed such compassion whenever he was with you. You couldn’t help but think maybe he would become a little kinder, but it was mostly only to you. Hidan would do his best to finally get your attention. He fell for you hard, and the sweet little gestures he did for you made your heart race. After he started making grand gestures, it didn’t take long for you to finally admit you had a huge crush on him.

Your first date: Hidan waits until everyone is asleep, then he goes to your room. The two of you decide to head out into one of the nearby fields and look up at the stars. It’s a clear night, and he’s hoping everything will turn out perfectly. He has some drinks and a small picnic set up on a blanket. You’re a little surprised to find how romantic Hidan is, but he confesses his feelings for you. What starts out as chaste kisses develops into some heavy making out. Hidan lets it stop there, and he is a gentleman through the whole date. It’s almost sunrise when the two of you go to bed.

Your first time being intimate: Hidan is used to having casual hookups, but with you, he knew it had to be different. He sets up his bedroom with nice lighting, scented candles and even some rose petals. It's romantic but Hidan still shows you how excited he can get. Still, the pleasure is all for you and Hidan does all he can to make sure you always cum first.

He presses a kiss to your lips, his long cock already deep inside of you. You don’t remember the last time someone fucked you. It was before you joined this little organization. What you do know, is that you’ve never been fucked by someone with as long a cock as Hidan. It reaches your cervix without even trying. He watches your face to make sure you aren’t in pain. Hidan knows he’s long, but he can make it feel good.

“You’re really fuckin’ tight,” Hidan finally breathes. Your silky walls are clamped down so tightly.

You blush, “Well it has been a while since I got laid.”

Hidan chuckles. He presses another kiss to your lips, and then he lets his lips trail down to your neck. He leaves soft lovebites, licking them after he’s done sucking on your tender flesh. The sweet moans you make just for him, it’s just driving him even more crazy. Hidan never wants this moment to end. He knows that he’s fallen for you completely.

“Pussy so good, makes me want to be a better man.”

Where are you now: You and Hidan actually defected from the Akatsuki, and the two of you decided to run away. You live far away from most people, in a small town together. The two of you are much happier this way, spending your days enjoying one another. You’re both still mercenaries, needing the money. But it’s not like the Akatsuki days. It’s just you and Hidan. Loving one another.

General headcanons:

Hidan is a cuddler. He may not seem it at first, but he enjoys holding you in his arms and just having a few moments of silence. This is very rare, considering he’s always running his mouth.

He will protect you no matter what. Hidan has his faith, but he isn’t opposed to doing what he can to make sure you’re safe. He doesn’t like the idea of going against his beliefs, but for your sake, he would.

Hidan always enjoys making his favorite food with you. He’s not a bad cook, despite what you may think of him. He enjoys food enough to want to learn how to make it good.

He often gets into arguments and fights, so you might need to help him tone back the swearing if you can. Though, it may be fun to watch him get into fights.

Hidan loves spoiling you with gifts whenever he can. He’ll buy you all kinds of stuff. He’s pretty supportive of your hobbies and passions as well.

He still likes to take you out and look at the stars. It’s so beautiful and he can talk about all kinds of stuff whenever you’re together like this. If you draw the night sky, he will be so happy.

Sexy headcanons

The man is kind of a freak in the sheets. He fucks like he’s an animal in heat. It’s just one of his favorite things to do in the world.

He’s mentioned more than once he has a blood kink, but if you aren’t into it, he’ll leave it out of the bedroom. He wants you to be comfortable in the bedroom as well.

Hidan is a big fan of loving, mating press kind of sex too. Something about having you in that position really turns him on. Maybe because you’re so helpless beneath him.

Hidan loves it if you were to tug on his hair while he goes down on you. Clench your thighs around his face. Suffocate him. He can’t die anyway, so he wants to suffocate between your thighs.

He’s not against being tied up, or vice versa. He’s really into both, and he loves it if you were to blindfold him as well and tease him until he is just begging for pleasure.

He needs to cum inside of you. He’s got a huge cum fetish. He doesn’t care about getting you pregnant, it’s all about marking you up as his. It’s the sight of his seed leaking out of you that turns him on.

#bacon.writes #2k followers celebration #2k followers event #2k follower celebration #hidan #hidan x you #hidan x reader #hidan x y/n #hidan smut #hidan match up #naruto #naruto shippuden

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goddess-of-green · 3 years

Note

More Tobi please !!! It’s so good 😫🙌 I love ur writing so much 😊

I'm running out of Tobi gifs you guys (Part 2 here!)

Warnings: Language, suggestive themes, submissive reader

"Yay! It must be Tobi's lucky day!" Tobi exclaimed as he threw down his cards—his winning cards.

You paled.

This generally wouldn't be such a problem.

Sure, Tobi was suspiciously good at Poker when he needed to be, but you never minded when he beat you by a landslide and proceeded to gloat until one of the other Akatsuki members had to shut him up.

Although, since you didn't really want to wager money on the game -your savings had been dwindling recently and you jumped at any opportunity to save some extra Ryo- you and Tobi decided to instead, make a bet.

If you won, Tobi would be at your beck and call for 24 hours; if Tobi won, you would be at his beck and call for 24 hours.

You knew such a bet could go either horribly wrong or horribly right.

However, you hadn't really let the implications of being at Tobi's beck and call hit you until you saw that winning hand.

Tobi was completely unpredictable and a known troublemaker.

He was always 'innocently' finding ways to insult people or taunt them. You were fairly sure he had some weird sadistic hobby to see how far he could bend people before they reacted violently.

You and Tobi had meshed so well in the organization because you were extremely patient and always reacted positively to Tobi's teasing and jabs.

After a while, Tobi seemed to realize that his taunting and teasing wouldn't make you upset, so he claimed you as his "best friend" and took to following you around in his freetime, you being the only one who could handle his overbearing and deliberately annoying nature.

Tobi loved to cause trouble and make fun of people. Despite his 'innocent' nature, you knew his humor was a little twisted at best.

What the hell did I get myself into?

Tobi was giggling like madman at your expression, a hand raised to where his mouth would be to ineffectively muffle his snickers.

"Y/N-Chan's time starts now! She has to be Tobi's maid for a whole day!" Tobi cheered, throwing his arms up into the air.

You blinked.

Maid?

Fuck.

"M-Maid?" You asked, already knowing that no matter what he responded with you were screwed.

Tobi giggled a bit more, "Yep! Tobi's even got Y/N-Chan a cute little outfit to wear while she does everything Tobi desires~" Tobi explained, his amusement coming off him in waves.

Maid? 'Cute little Outfit'? Tobi's desires!? God, help me.

You sighed, "Very well, Tobi."

"Actually, Y/N-Chan...there's something else Tobi would like you to call him~"

Here you are, dressed in a maid outfit.

A frilly black and white choker secured around your neck and your hair down, your top doing nothing to hide your cleavage, and your skirt giving you about two inches of leeway.

If you so much as bent over, your panties would be revealed to anyone in the vicinity. To top it all off, you had a white waist apron with little frills on the ends.

It covered even less than your skirt.

Kami, where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this?

Your internal lamenting is brought to halt as you hear Tobi cooing at you.

"Y/N-Chan~ you look so nice, all dressed up for Tobi like this~" He put his gloved hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him as he continued to inspect your form.

You swallowed, "Thank you, Tobi~Sama." You said softly, as he had requested you call him.

You blushed in embarrassment as you said it, unintentionally making yourself look even cuter as you looked up at him through your lashes, hoping he wouldn't make fun of you.

Tobi was unusually silent as he stared at your inadvertently coy expression. His hands still on your hips, and his expression unreadable through his mask.

After a moment, he started giggling.

"Y/N-Chan is such a good little maid for Tobi~ Tobi has a feeling he's going to enjoy this very much~" Tobi purred as he brought his arms up to wrap around your waist and buried his masked face into your neck; his body snuggling into yours in the process.

You gulped as his warm body encased yours.

Is it just me or is it a little hot in here?

You would have tugged on your collar if you had one.

Tobi pulled away from the embrace with excitement as he grabbed your hand.

"Alright Y/N-Chan, you're going to make some for lunch for your master, and then we're going to play a game~" Tobi said brightly, a teasing tone slipping through his usual beaming attitude.

Something about the way Tobi said "game" raised some flags, but you complied nonetheless.

You certainly didn't want to give Tobi a reason to punish you, as he had warned.

You shuttered at the implications.

He didn't mention or signal any sort of sexual things happening, but you could never be too careful. This entire situation was more than a little suspicious.

He's already made it clear he's got a pervy side, if the outfit was anything to go by.

You sighed lowly as Tobi's hand slipped from yours and he wandered off to wait in the living area of the base while you prepared him something to eat.

"It's too bad Tobi has his mask, or he would love to have Y/N~Chan feed him~" Tobi sighed wistfully as he walked off.

Clearly talking to himself, but you were sure he meant for you to hear.

You blushed at the thought, shaking your head to rid yourself of such thoughts as you continued on your way to the Akatsuki base's kitchen.

After you finally washed your hands and got to actually making something for Tobi, you ran into a little roadblock.

You had no idea what kind of food Tobi liked, or even if he had any allergies. He rarely ever ate around you, and when he did you tried not to stare at him too much and respect his privacy.

(Even though you were definitely curious as to what lied underneath his infamous orange mask.)

Even if you had paid attention, you doubt you would have caught much anyway.

Tobi is very sneaky when it comes to keeping his face hidden, and his food is off the plate and in his mouth faster than anyone can even tell what he was eating.

"He's so annoying all the time, yeah! The least he could do is let me catch a glimpse of his damn mug for once, un!"

You smirked as you recalled Deidara's ranting.

Remembering your situation, your smirk slipped away as you considered your options.

You could take a stab in the dark and make something that Tobi may or may not like, or you could go back out and ask Tobi what he wanted.

Neither were very good options.

If you took a wild guess then you would risk Tobi either not liking what you made or having an allergic reaction to it.

The last thing you wanted was to make Tobi sick or unhappy, but going back out to ask posed its own risks.

If you went out into the living room to ask Tobi what he wanted to eat then there was a good chance one of the other members would see you.

Then, they would ask questions.

You knew that Tobi wouldn't hesitate to embarrass you and go into great detail about how you were his cute little maid who would do anything to "satisfy" him.

Your face heated up in embarrassment just thinking about it.

You sighed, biting your lip as you ran through the pros and cons in your head.

You wilted after a moment, your morality winning the internal battle.

Discarding your dignity, and swallowing the last of your pride, you turned around to exit the kitchen and go find Tobi.

"But D-Deidara-Senpai! Tobi's not lying! He swears!" Tobi exclaimed, waving his hands around wildly as if that helped his case.

"Tch. Sure Tobi, un. You really expect me to believe that you got Y/N to be your maid?" Deidara scoffed.

It was then that you peaked from the hallway. Calling Tobi's name and desperately hoping that he was alone.

"Ah! Y/N-Chan! Impeccable Timing~!" Tobi said happily, Deidara snapping his head over towards you to see if Tobi really wasn't lying.

Uh oh.

Your face flamed as you tried to retreat back into the hallway, Tobi one step ahead of you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the living area for Deidara to see.

Deidara's eyes widened as he looked over your form, clad in a skimpy maid outfit complete with the lacy little headdress on top.

Deidara slowly but surely flushed, before turning to Tobi.

"I want in." Deidara said earnestly.

Your face flamed and you literally wanted to die in a hole of pitiful embarrassment.

Completely appalled, Tobi gasped quite dramatically at Deidara's words and pulled you close, as if protecting you. "Deidara-Senpai! You can't! Y/N-Chan is Tobi's maid! And Tobi doesn't think you would appreciate her like Tobi does!" Tobi said indignantly as he snuggled into your chest.

Good lord, you felt like your face was permanently pink today. From all this excitement you had nearly forgotten what you came out to ask-

"What?! Tobi! You can't keep her all to yourself like this! You're being selfish!" Deidara yelled.

"Nuh-uh senpai! Tobi won Y/N-Chan's free will fair and square! And why would Tobi share? This way she's all mine~" Tobi exclaimed, trailing off into a creepy giggle at the end.

It's like they're two kids fighting over a new toy... You sighed.

You blushed when you realized that you were the toy.

Before Deidara could fire back or you could finally ask what the hell Tobi wanted to eat, something awful happened.

Hidan walked in.

It took him five seconds to skim his eyes over your form, Tobi's face pressed into your chest and Deidara blushing... and burst into laughter.

"Pfft Hahahaha, what the hell kind of kinky shit is going on in here?" Hidan howled, bent over and holding his stomach from laughter.

Tobi hurriedly let go of you and turned around, putting his arms in front of you as if to hide you. "Nothing Hidan-Senpai! Y-You don't have all the information!" Tobi exclaimed, his slightly shaky voice not convincing anyone.

"Tch. Tobi got Y/N to be his maid, and he's keeping this opportunity all to himself!" Deidara scoffed, crossing his arms indignantly.

Interest piqued, Hidan walked over to you, promptly pushing Tobi out of the way and grabbing your jaw.

"His maid, huh? And just how'd he manage that...?" Hidan said, his voice quieter and more husky since he was so close to your face.

You tried to repress the shiver that threatened to crawl down your spine...Hidan had always creeped you out.

Before you could stutter out a response, you felt a stinging on your ass.

Oh my-

He pinched my ass!

You squeaked involuntarily and pushed Hidan off you, Deidara starting to fume as he realized what happened.

"Hey man! Don't touch her like that, un!" He exclaimed, though he probably wanted to do the same thing.

"Hidan!" Tobi gasped, rushing over to pick you up bridal style and cradle you in his arms.

"No one is allowed to touch Y/N-Chan like that! She is Tobi's!" He exclaimed, and you would have been happy for his defense if he didn't keep referring to you as 'his'.

Deidara and Hidan were now straight up fighting, Tobi's yelling falling on deaf ears.

The lewd things Deidara and Hidan were saying about you as they fought had you desperately hiding your burning face in Tobi's chest.

Tobi pet your hair in a soothing manner before running off, with you still in his arms.

"It's too dangerous out here with all the other members! Y/N-Chan will just have to serve Tobi in his room! Alone~"

Lunch completely forgotten, you worried for what was to come as Tobi carried you off, Deidara and Hidan still wrestling on the floor.

It was then that Kisame and Itachi walked in, just in time to hear Tobi's exclamation as they saw you being carried off by Tobi while Deidara and Hidan were rolling around the floor and pulling at each other's hair.

#naruto #akatsuki #tobi #tobi uchiha #obito #obito uchiha #tobi x reader #tobi uchiha x reader #obito x reader #obito uchiha x reader #akatsuki x reader #hidan #deidara #kisame #itachi #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha

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ladykissingfish · 2 years

Text

*Deidara and Sasori at marriage counseling*

Deidara: … and then he called it stupid! In front of everyone!

Sasori: Well it WAS stupid, dear. Would you prefer I lie?

Deidara: I’d “prefer” that you act like my damn husband and support me no matter what, hm! I support YOU, don’t I?!

Sasori: Oh? Like how you “supported” me building my new puppet by shoving it out of the way so hard you broke its neck? And then didn’t bother to tell me about it until three days later?

Deidara: You keep your damn puppet crap all over the bedroom, Danna! It was hanging over my mirror, hm, of course I had to move it out of the way!

Sasori: Apologies; you’re right. I forgot how important it is for you to feed your vanity a thousand times a day.

Deidara: Wait a second … you’re calling ME “vain”?? Last time I checked, Danna, I’m not the one who was so afraid of aging that I ripped out my internal organs and TURNED MYSELF INTO A PUPPET when I was still a teenager!

Sasori: At least when I was a teenager I dealt with my problems by talking them out with those who wronged me. I didn’t resort to turning myself into a living bomb and blowing up anything that looked at me sideways as a coping mechanism.

Deidara: You know what?? You —

Therapist: That’s enough. I can see now, it wouldn’t be worth my time trying to counsel you both. In fact, I won’t even charge you for today’s session. You’re both completely incompatible with each other.

Sasori: Pardon?

Therapist: You’re two wrongs that, no matter how hard you try and fix things, would never be right for each other. I’m honestly in shock that you made it this far.

Deidara: Are — are you sure, that —

Therapist: Sasori, you’re an absolute saint for being able to tolerate a grown man who acts like little more than a spoiled child. And Deidara, your ability to put up with a man as rigid and set in his archaic ways as Sasori is, is nothing short of heroic. You —

Sasori: Listen, you. My husband may be “childish” at times but he’s also the most amazing person I’ve ever met. He’s creative, he’s passionate about life, he’s fun, and he’s the sole person who reinvigorated my own desire to be alive, after years of darkness and depression. “Childish” is a small trade off for all he’s given me. And yes he may be vain, but he has every right to be; he’s literally the most gorgeous creature in creation!

Deidara: And Sasori may be “set in his ways”, hm, but you know what? I wouldn’t have survived all these years without the calmness and maturity that he brings into my life. Every single thing that he does is always something in my best interests, and he cares about my health and happiness so much that it’s overwhelming! He takes care of me and does everything he can to make our lives as wonderful as possible.

Deidara: *turns to Sasori and grabs his hand* I’m so sorry I said all those things, hm. I love you so much; you’re absolutely everything to me.

Sasori: *pulls him into a hug* I’m sorry too, darling. You’re the center of my universe, and I don’t know where I’d be without you by my side.

*the two leave, holding hands and snuggling against each other*

Therapist: Well, glad that worked. Now let’s see, who’s my next appointment?

Therapist: Oh, god … *sees Kakuzu and Hidan’s names*

Therapist: *slowly pulls bottle of whiskey out of bottom desk drawer*

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASORI!!!#naruto #sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara #kakuhida

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bruhstories · 3 years

Text

Bloodlust

Summary: You were a rookie Jashinist with a dark secret, he was a demented shinobi with a desire to slaughter anything and everything for his god. Pairing: Hidan x Fem!Reader (canon verse) Warnings & Content: dark content - minors dni, language, blood kink, kidnapping, murder, oral sex (male receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, knives, human sacrifice, cult-like behaviour, religious fanatism, Reader and Hidan are... insane, slight gore. Word Count: 2.8 k

A/N: Read those tags carefully. Hidan's not exactly a warm and fuzzy character.

"Please, let me go... I won't tell anyone." You peeled your lips open, dry from all the crying and lack of hydration, hairs stuck to your sweaty forehead.

"Let you go? But... you came here willingly." He sneered, flashing you his teeth.

He was right. You joined the Jashinists thinking they were a liberal religion, preaching freedom and anarchy, but you did not expect sadism and human sacrifices. And you didn't expect to fall in love with Hidan — the most vile man you've ever encountered. Not that he knew that, anyway. He couldn't possibly fathom the idea that a sweet thing like you could love a man like him. But you weren't a saint.

"T-then why are you doing this to m-me?" You breathed, the ropes around your wrists cutting the blood circulation in your hands.

Hidan clicked his tongue and placed his scythe on the floor. "Because I can." He picked up a knife — no, a kunai. "And because you wanted to run away."

Ah, there it was. You decided to leave this cult when Hidan prompted you to kill some poor ninja he'd kidnapped a few days ago. You refused, expecting to be left alone, and now you were the sacrifice.

"I t-told you, I- I only kill those who deserve it."

"Everyone deserves it, Y/N. Especially traitors." Hidan traced the blade over your exposed abdomen, goosebumps dotting your skin and you were ashamed to admit that it made you feel... something.

"So, you're just g-going to kill m-me?"

"Don't be sad. You'll make a fine fucking sacrifice for Jashin."

"Please, Hidan, give m-me another c-chance." Tears pooled at your eyes. Death was not on your list, not now, and especially not at his hands.

"You know we don't give second chances." The blade was now between your tits, the tip slowly poking into your skin. Crimson droplets seeped from the fresh wound. It stung like a bitch, and it made you whimper, but the heat in your cunt signalled your arousal.

"You d-don't, but Jashin does." You whispered, and Hidan was completely taken aback.

"Excuse you?"

"Every t-time you failed to kill someone, hengave you another c-chance." You spat at him. "What m-makes you think he won't g-give me one?"

Confused wouldn't even begin to describe what he felt. Hidan blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the question before he dropped the kunai and left without a word.

You didn't know exactly how much time passed since he left. By this point you couldn't feel your fingers and the room began to spin, head dizzy from exhaustion. The door swung open and you shot your head up, startled by the sudden intrusion. Hidan walked in with a terrifying look on his face and bent down to grab the blade. He slashed the first rope and your hand fell limp by your hip.

"You're lucky he's a benevolent god." He slashed the second rope and your knees hit the cold, hard floor. Fear, happiness and anxiety coiled in your stomach, surprised that you have, indeed, been given a second chance.

"You talked to him?" You shook your wrists to get the blood flowing, eyes finding his.

"Yes, and surprisingly he likes you. Says you have potential." His voice went up an octave when uttering the last word in what seemed to be sarcasm.

Still on the floor, you arched a brow. "Do you doubt his judgement?" You suspected it was a mistake to ask that question, because in a split second Hidan yanked your hair and pulled your head back to look at him upside-down.

"I'll die before I doubt the good lord. Who I doubt is you." He pierced your soul with his sangria eyes, chills running down your spine, stopping in-between your thighs. You hated the effect he had over you, you hated that he was so oblivious to your hints, only focused on Jashin. Always Jashin.

Granted, Jashin did offer Hidan immortality, which was something you could only dream of. You were a pathetic civilian with a knack for medical jutsu, but never properly trained. He was a full-fledged shinobi who could snap your neck like a twig if he wanted to. And he wanted to.

But, the word of Jashin was law for Hidan. As much as he wanted to sacrifice you to his beloved god, he had to refrain himself, fearing punishment for his sins. And as much as he hated to admit it, you shared and valued the same goals of Jashinism — to a certain extent. You were down to slaughter people, but only those who deserved it, and apparently to Jashin that was enough. But not to Hidan. Never to Hidan.

"Jashin says I have potential, it's not up to you to talk back." You mustered up some courage after your wounds healed. That medical jutsu thing you practised for self-healing really came in handy when Hidan had violent outbursts and Kakuzu wasn't there to put him in his place. Shame you didn't know how to use it to heal others.

"Listen here, you little bitch, just because you've been pardoned now doesn't mean I'll hesitate to stab your tits when you disobey the lord." He let go of your hair and you leaned forward, palms on the floor to stop you from falling. "Besides, you're gonna have to prove yourself. Again."

You knew exactly what he meant. You had to kill. And Hidan wasn't one to let you off the hook — you'd have to kill someone innocent, and the idea of performing such a sacrifice made your stomach churn, it made you want to throw up, because you knew you'd enjoy it. Murdering someone deserving felt like a chore, like something natural. But the thought of killing someone undeserving made your heart flutter, your cunt burn and your head hazy with a high so addictive, no drug in the world could compare to it.

"Don't make me kill someone, please."

"Oh, spare me of your holier-than-thou bullshit. You either kill or be killed, Y/N. Now let's get to fucking work." Hidan bruised your arm in the process of 'helping' you up, unaware of the pleasant surprise that lurked within you. Because if he knew the real you, he'd probably question his own sanity — and that's something he'd never done. The real you was obscene, twisted and demented, long before you discovered Jashinism, but you tried to bury that part of you deep down. You seemingly succeeded, focusing your bloodlust on anarchy and overthrowing the Tsuchikage with a group of punk teenagers from your village, Iwagakure.

Until you met Hidan.

"I really don't want to do this." You pleaded with the silver-haired man, hands trembling and eyes watery.

"Kill him, Y/N." Hidan rolled his eyes, the blades of his scythe pressing into your back as you pressed your kunai into the victim's neck. "Kill him or I kill you."

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. But give me some space."

"Tch, pretentious bitch." He stepped aside, watching you carefully.

"More space." You demanded and he took another step back with an impatient look on his face.

"There's only one exit to this cave. If you think, for a fucking second, that you walk out of here alive you're wrong. Unless you kill him." Hidan licked his lips. "Jashin demands a sacrifice. Now."

You looked down at the symbol drawn with the victim's blood, then back at the man in front of you. His eyes were wide open and filled with tears, arms chained to then wall of the cave. He frantically shook his head, saliva dripping from his gag as he prayed for salvation.

"I'm so sorry." You spoke — not sorry for the victim, but for yourself and what you'd become after this day. Slender fingers lifted his chin upwards and with one swift movement, you slit open the skin, blood gushing out, spraying your face, neck and cleavage. "Fuck..." You moaned, the hot crimson liquid dripping down your chin.

"See, it wasn't so bad." Hidan elbowed you but you didn't move, instead, you gripped the blade handle tightly and drove it into the victim's abdomen, more blood spluttering on you when you removed it. "Oh, you want more?" The rogue shinobi quirked a brow, content with your choice. Adrenaline and arousal rushed through your veins and you dropped the kunai, the clanging echoing in the cave.

"Hidan..." You trailed off, tentatively unzipping your black cloak. "I want you to fuck me."

The silver-haired man watched you smear the blood over your exposed tits, his cock twitching in his pants. Finally, he realised just how beautiful you truly were, the pure ecstasy on your face igniting a flame in his core.

"Here?" He asked, somewhat surprised by your request.

"Yes, please." You turned around to face him, and the look on his face told you just how impressed he was.

"Now aren't you just so full of surprises? And here I thought you were just some goodie two-shoes who refused to harm people." Hidan removed his Akatsuki cloak, letting it fall to the ground, allowing you to see just how hard he was. You bit on your lower lip, the metallic taste was pure bliss in your mouth. "You filthy, disgusting whore." He sneered, his lips crushing yours in a shameful, euphoric kiss. The moment his tongue touched the blood in your mouth, his skin began to darken, his body linking with the victim's, meaning he hasn't died yet.

"Isn't he going to feel everything?" You pulled back from the kiss, but your voice wasn't in any way concerned about the man chained to the wall.

"Oh, he's going to feel it, alright." Hidan laughed, his hand pushing your head as you lowered yourself down your knees. Fingers tugged at the waistband of his pants and you pulled down both of the layers, his cock slapping your face. "Suck."

You obediently parted your lips, taking the velvety tip into your mouth, tongue swirling around it before you moved to his shaft. Hidan threw his head back, his fingers tangling in your hair as you bobbed your head back and forth, your moans music to his ears. The gurgling sounds coming from the victim told you that he, indeed, felt everything Hidan felt and your twisted mind enjoyed it so fucking much. You picked up the pace, earning grunts and growls from the rogue shinobi before he held your head in place, stuffing your mouth and throat with his thick cock until you dug your fingers in his thigh, desperately trying to breathe.

"Jashin was right to give you a second chance." Hidan released you and you gasped for air. "You're his gift for me."

The blood on your body dried out, but you were just as beautiful. You leaned on your back, spreading your legs for him. It was a smart decision not to wear anything underneath your cloak. The silver-haired man kneeled between your thighs, his hands bruising your skin with rough touches before he found your dripping cunt.

"Shit, Y/N, you're soaking wet." He shoved two fingers between your folds, curling them upwards. You squirmed and moaned, desperate for something bigger.

"S-skip the foreplay and fuck m-me!" You begged but Hidan wasn't one to listen. He thrusted his fingers in and out of you, enjoying the way you thrashed and moaned his name, enjoying the way you arched your back with every movement.

"You're so beautiful." He confessed and you were caught off guard. It was the first time he ever said something nice to you, let alone compliment you. "You really are a sight for sore fucking eyes." Hidan removed his fingers but before you could say anything, he shoved them in your mouth. "Don't you taste like a needy slut?"

You nodded with lidded eyes, cheeks hollowed as you sucked the slick off of fingers. Hidan hovered over you, his cock grazing over your slit and aching clit, then kissed you with so much force and passion you almost couldn't breathe.

"Fuck, you taste good." He grabbed his shaft and pushed the tip painstakingly slowly between your folds. Oh, he was so much bigger than you expected, but you quickly got accustomed to his girth, mouth agape and eyes rolled back in pleasure.

"Shit- Hidan!" You bucked your hips, legs wrapping around his waist as he wrapped his calloused fingertips around your neck.

"Jashin damn it, you are so tight. You're not a fucking virgin, are you?"

You shook your head, fingernails digging into his back and the victim gurgled again. Hidan released the grip from your neck, instead holding you by the hips and frenziedly pulling you onto his cock. It was sinful, degrading and demented, and his brutal, animalistic thrusts only turned you on more. The sound of skin against skin, growls and moans echoed in the cave, and soon enough Hidan's bone-like markings faded. You didn't care, he was still buried into your cunt, but the thrill of having your pussy obliterated next to a dying man dissipated, replaced by the pure lust Hidan radiated.

"Fuck, I'm-"

"No, you're not. Not until I fucking allow it." The silver-haired man pulled out and you cried, literal tears pooling at your eyes as you were on the brink of an orgasm. "You've been a bad, bad, girl, denying Jashin, denying slaughter, denying me." He gave your cunt a firm slap which vibrated through your entire body, ending with a whimper.

"Y-you have n-no idea how m-much I want you, Hidan." You squeezed your thighs together for a crumb or friction, but he forcefully pushed your knees to the sides.

"Then you should listen. See what a good job you've done today?" He tilted his head to the chained corpse.

"You d-don't understand... I've g-got an insatiable bloodlust." You admitted, but you knew he'd only be more intrigued.

"That's exactly why you've been drawn to Jashinism." Hidan flipped you over, and you were down on all fours. He pushed his cock back in you with one deep thrust, earning another moan out of you. "Embrace it, Y/N. You and I can do great things together, for him."

"But it's wrong." You whispered and you could feel his arm slithering around your neck, pulling you closer to him.

"And who told you that? Society? Your parents? Nah, I'll be your daddy from now on." His fat cock brushed against your cervix, your silken walls clenching around it as he fucked you harder. "You wanna come, don't you?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Yes, what?" Hidan tightened the grip, your back against his chest.

"Yes, daddy! Please, I want it, I want it!" You whimpered.

"And are you going to give Jashin everything he wants?"

It was decided — Hidan stripped you of any speck of humanity or rationality you had left in you. You loved him, after all, and he loved Jashin.

"Yes, I will! Jashin can have anything he wants as long as I have you."

"Good girl." He kissed your head before releasing your neck, hands gripping your hips to hold you in place. "Nowyou can come."

Your cunt was aching for release, and you mustered enough strength to rub your clit in messy, circular motions. Soon enough, you felt it coming — the rush of adrenaline as Hidan fucked into you, fingers pinching your sore nipples. You came on his cock with a soft moan and with one final, violent thrust he fills you up, cum dripping from your sloppy cunt as he pulls out. You rolled on your back, propping yourself on your elbows and Hidan froze, the sight of your used and abused pussy hypnotising him.

"Like what you see?" You grinned, fingers tentatively grazing over your slit, dipping between your folds before you brought them to your mouth to taste his seed.

"Shit, I think I'm in love." His sangria eyes bore into yours and your heart fluttered. You knew he was an asshole, and he probably only said it in the heat of the moment, but you were satisfied with what you got.

"What about him?"

"Meh, Kakuzu will take care of the mess. I wanna take a fucking bath." Hidan picked his red and black cloak up from the floor before getting up. "And I'm starving."

You pursed your lips and lowered your gaze. So much for being in love with you.

"You coming to the hot springs?"

"Me?"

"As much as I adore seeing you covered in blood, that shit's dry and crusty." He threw you your cloak.

"You wanna take a bath... with me?"

"Yes? The fuck are you acting so surprised? I just said I'm in love with you but you're surprised I wanna take a bath with you?"

"You know what, stop talking." You rolled your eyes and got up.

"I think the fuck not."

"Fuck's sake, Hidan, let's go."

"Fuckin' crazy bitch."

#hidan #naruto fic #hidan x reader #hidan x y/n #hidan x you #hidan smut #naruto smut #tw. blood #tw. knives #tw. murder

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senseitiddy · 3 years

Text

Hush || Chapter 3

Note: I feel like so many of you guys are reading this🥺 thank you. Leave a like, reblog too if you’d like. This chapter was kind of short and I’m sorry if I’m not writing that frequently.

I still got school and that’s a pain ontop of everything else.

The akatsuki was out doing their own things today. Missions, sacrifices-we both know who that is, etc. Rai was alone in the hideout. It was pretty lonely, and quiet. Very quiet.

Tobi kept her up all night showing her the action figures. He named everyone and told their back stories, which tired her out. But she wouldn’t tell him that, she loved how excited he got about it.

Rais POV

As much as I loved the peace and quiet, it was almost too quiet. I haven’t even been here for a full day, but god is this group so loud. Pain is a pain in the ass-pun intended.

But I know the first thing I’m going to do is clean this goddamn place. They live like a bunch of slobs, but who am IIIII to judge.

I slipped on a hoodie and some leggings before making my way out to the kitchen to clean. One, it’s cold as fuck in here and two, there’s sooo many dishes to clean.

“Might as well clean it up” I mumbled to myself and grabbed a sponge by the sink. it wasn’t even used!

It was about an hour when I got done with all the dishes, they were put away nicely and it looked presentable in here. “Ahaha they better fucking like it” I smiled to myself

I opened the fridge next and started grabbing whatever I could find. I’ll make them food too-now you better not be thinking I’m doing this to kiss Pains ass and make sure I stay in the Akatsuki. That is not the situation, I am just really bored. Clearly.

I know just the thing to make, PASTA! Everyone loves pasta, it’s so creamy and good and ugh I could die happily with it. Grabbing the noodles and a pan, I also grabbed the cheese and milk. Which was surprising, they actually had milk that wasn’t expired.

I hurried and cooked everything before I heard the front door open and shut, also met with a bunch of voices. Hehehe they are home.

3rd Person

The akatsuki members made their way to the kitchen, their noses guiding them along the way.

“No fucking way!” Hidan exclaimed taking a bowl off the table. “She seriously made this-you seriously made this?!” He looked at Rai

“W-well yeah. I got bored.” Rai said nervously now while the others grabbed bowls.

“Thank you so much Rai! You really didn’t have to do any of this. It smells amazing” Konan smiled and kissed her cheek in a friendly way.

“This doesn’t mean I’m accepting you so quickly.” Pain grunted and sat down away from everyone. ‘Little emo fuck’ Rai thought to herself

“Thank you, Rai Zuki” Itachi smiled appreciatingly and sat by Kisame.

“I don’t think that I can cook that well, but you guys are welcome.” Rai giggled a little

“Thank you Rai-senpai!” Tobi shouted hugging her tightly. “Tobi thinks the food tastes really good!”

“You’re welcome Tobi.” She chuckled pulling away from the hug and sat down.

“Itadakimasu!” They all said together and ate. Rai smiled wider to herself and took a bite of the food. She felt really happy, so far so good. Pain seemed to enjoy his food.

“How did the mission go?” Rae asked and got many responsises.

“Well I got my money so I’m fine”

“I sacrificed a girl with big titties”

“My puppet broke😞”

“Boring un”

“Tobi saw a butterfly!!”

And so on.

“Well I’m glad some of you had a nice day, I’m sorry that the others didn’t have a not so good day” she frowned. “But you’re home now so it’s okay”

Pain watches her carefully and rubbed the back of his neck. Something about her was radiating too much happiness. Maybe the smile? Maybe the way she talked? Everyone was seeming to enjoy it, but something about her was making him feel off.

Not like he was angry or anything, but it just felt weird. It’s been a while since he’s seen this much happiness in someone. She’s experienced pain, but is there enough that she’s learned to find peace?

That question could be answered by anyone who knew Rai personally. She lost her family, the only thing she had. Anyone else in her village didn’t accept her, she was different. Outsiders believed that the people in the dark were demons. There was not one trace of demon in her soul.

But getting revenge was a promise. Pain wondered how she could be so happy when she planned on murdering sound village ninjas and joining the akatsuki. But revenge was what she was living for, just like many of the akatsuki members.

Rai smiled taking everyone dishes and put them in the sink. “I’ll clean them, you guys just go sit down”

“Are you sure?” Kisame asked looking at the very short women.

“Of course, just go chill out” she chuckled and everyone walked out except for Pain. “Is something wrong?”

“I need to speak to you.” His deep voice scared Rai. He was so intimidating and looked like he could take her out quickly.

Shit.

Taglist:

@tojisbbyg

#obito x oc #obito imagine #obito x reader #obito scenario #obito headcanons #obito uchiha #boku wa tobi #tobi x reader #tobi uchiha #tobi x oc #kakashi x reader #Naruto #new story

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naruto-littlespace · 3 years

Text

Akatsuki Littlespace Headcanons

I could and probably will write more, but I don’t feel like it right now, so here’s this.

Disclaimer 1: Littlespace, in the AU and in real life, is a coping mechanism for everything from everyday stressors to psychological disorders like PTSD. If you sexualize littlespace do not interact with this AU or me, I will block you.

Disclaimer 2: Littlespace in this post is slightly different from in real life, magic-ed up in a similar way to how ninjas are magic-ed up in the Naruto universe. Chakra-using littles actually revert to the size they were when they were their little ages, although they retain any bodily changes since then (little Kakuzu still has stitches, little Deidara would have hand mouths.) The exception of course is Sasori, whose body is manmade and doesn’t change. People also do not necessarily remember their big lives when they slip into littlespace, sometimes becoming confused about where they are and who they’re with. They will sometimes be confused about what time period they’re in as well, believing things to have happened that hadn’t happened yet in their little age but were far in the past in their adult age.

This isn’t how I’m going to treat littlespace w/ Naruto characters all the time on this account btw, it’s just an idea I’ve been playing around with, like the psychological defense of reverting to a childlike state inadvertently triggers a transformation jutsu to match.

Nagato:

Little age pre Yahiko’s death was 6-7, post is 2-4

Started regressing shortly after the formation of the original Akatsuki. She and Yahiko had to do research to figure out why their teenage friend had suddenly turned into a child, but after they learned they took care of him: treated him like a child, bought him kids books from the local thrift shop, tucked him into bed. He called them uncle and auntie.

He would stay in littlespace for a surprisingly long amount of time, for 4-6 hours on days between missions.

After Yahiko’s death he spent many days in a row regressed to age two. Konan scrambled to take care of him and handle her own grieving. After that was over he promised her she wouldn’t have to take care of him again.

Nowadays of course she still takes care of him when he regresses, but he tries to force himself out of it if he begins to.

He still has board books and stuffies, so if he does fully regress he’ll have one of his pein bodies bring them to him.

Being ~3 he doesn’t have the mental capacity to control all the Peins, so they just kind of idle for awhile.

Konan:

Little age is 3-5

Pre modern Akatsuki she didn’t like regressing at all and only did it involuntarily. She would handle it by either walking it off or reading Nagato’s board books by herself.

This continued pretty much until she started becoming friends with Kakuzu, who openly admitted he was a little (he thought she should know, in case it ended up delaying his missions--it was mostly so she would stick up for him to Pein. No, he wasn’t hunting bounties, there’s a perfectly logical explanation--)

So she had a bad day while she and Kakuzu were at the same base and went ‘can you please deal with me for a couple of minutes’ and he was like ‘ofc’ so she sat down in front of him and shrank down to a little girl and started crying. He picked her up and bounced her on his knee until she calmed down. She ended up staying little for a couple of hours because Kakuzu took her out of the office and telling her stories about his childhood while they prepared dinner.

Kisame becomes her caretaker too when the three of them start dating.

Sometimes she starts crying inconsolably about something she won’t talk about other than someone leaving her and something being unfair. Pein showed up during this one time and said he knew what she was talking about and it was none of her cgs’ concern which ofc made them concerned but they haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her about it.

Itachi:

Little age is 2-4 but since her chakra is often very low so she doesn’t always physically become that tiny.

She didn’t regress until after she joined the Akatsuki, but when she did Kisame wasn’t surprised. He reintroduced himself as her babysitter, slipped her a lollipop and took her to a library to pick out some kids books.

Loves to be pampered. Oh god it’s the only time she can relax at all

Wears reading glasses because they can’t get her in to an eye doctor appointment

She’s trans in this au because I say so

Likes playing with weasel and crow toys, esp when her caretaker (usually Kisame, Konan and Kakuzu as well when they’re around) plays the weasel and she’s the crow. She’ll tell stories where they go out to the woods to train or just hang out.

She loves to sit in laps <3

She eats a lot more in littlespace than out so whoever’s feeding her makes lots of food. For her to grow big and strong u know

Kisame:

Little age 0. He is just baby

Being reminded of the bloody mist triggers his littlespace, though he has to be in a bad headspace in the first place. It really does not happen often.

Post Akatsuki the first time he slipped was after he, Kakuzu and Konan started dating. Kakuzu woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying and woke Konan up immediately afterwards because holy sh*t there’s a baby in our bed!!

It was Kisame. Kakuzu picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Konan asked how he was so good with kids and he was like ‘oh I had a baby once.’ She does not ask him to elaborate. Kisame wakes up as an adult the next morning.

They keep a container of powder formula for him if he regresses but won’t get him a pacifier because they’re afraid he’d bite off and choke on the teat. They have bottles but Kakuzu makes the nipples for them out of one of his threads on the spot bc he’d bite through literally everything else with his tiny demon teeth.

Sasori:

Little age is unclear (unlike some of the others, he’s never said it.)

Signs he’s in littlespace: stops talking, stops walking if he can afford it, walks unsteadily and a little bowlegged if he can’t. Stops using ninjutsu and if he’s near a kitchen he might try to eat despite not having a digestive system anymore. Has been known to ask where Granny Chiyo is. The answer is ‘back home.’

Deidara got him a pacifier and a coloring book. He does use them but not when anyone else is watching, not even Deidara.

He is a bit upset when he’s reminded that his body is wooden. He would like to feel things please. But he learns to just enjoy the sensation of squishing a stuffie and his jaw chewing on a paci.

Deidara:

Not actually a little. He just hasn’t gone through sh*t like the rest of the Akatsuki have, and has coping mechanisms for when he is having a bad time.

He caretakes for Konan when her boys aren’t around and for Sasori if he’ll let him.

Hidan told him about littles after Kakuzu regressed in front of him and thought Deidara might need to know because of how much baggage Sasori has (he doesn’t know what it is but he can smell drama)

So he looked out for Sasori becoming a kid and learned instead to look for him not acting like an adult. He walked out of Hiruko and tried to eat in front of him and Deidara had to tell him he couldn’t have a strawberry because it was bad for his health and not because it would probably make his insides mold. It’s weird but Deidara is also weird and he makes it work.

Kakuzu:

Little age is 9-10

Post Akatsuki the first time he regressed was in front of Hidan in the middle of the woods. He didn’t recognize him and immediately tried to run and then beat him up when he chased him. Hidan had to think fast and tell him he was his new neighbor and pretend to be taking him home. The next time he was babysitting.

Sometimes asks where his husband is. The first time Hidan heard this his response was ‘what the f*ck’ and Kakuzu told him that was a bad word.

Enjoyed activities include reading, sparring, and to the surprise of some, hunting. He’s not bad w/ a bow and arrow.

The best way to keep him in/make him feel comfy in littlespace is to make him a meal. U can let him help to the extent that he sets the table or pours the drinks or smth (because he will ask) but take care of the food for him, because he hasn’t had someone else handle that for him in a long time.

Regressing isn’t necessarily a common thing for him to do but he’s one of the only ones whose regression can be triggered by physical pain as well as emotional. He can usually harden his skin to block attacks but if he doesn’t in time he may turn into a ten year old. It actually can surprise an opponent enough for Hidan to be able to take them out.

Hidan:

Not a little either.

Knew about littles bc there was an old man in his village who had ptsd from some long forgotten war and sometimes turned into a six year old.

Caretakes for Kakuzu pretty exclusively, unless Kakuzu is big and taking care of someone else, in which case he’ll help out if he’s feeling nice at the time. Itachi is actually his favorite to take care of because Itachi is a very manageable child.

Obito:

Little age varies wildly from about 1-11. He blocks his physical regression because he regresses Often and doesn’t want to blow his Madara cover.

He has been regressing since p much immediately after he got crushed. Madara was really having none of it and went from patiently waiting for him to become ‘big’ again to pretending it wasn’t happening, forcing Obito back into a uh. ‘’Normal’’’’ headspace

The Tobi act is actually covering his littlespace though when he’s an adult he has no idea how to realistically act like a kid so when he’s actually a kid it’s kind of jarring for all involved

When he’s a baby he just screams. Not really crying in distress but screaming because he can

He’s so eager for attention. Please talk to him! Play toys with him!!! Read a book, eat dango, run around outside, catch bugs, train!!!

Never mentions Kakashi or Rin but sometimes will mention his grandma or Lord Fourth as if he is the current Hokage

#akatsuki #naruto au #sfw littlespace #sfw agere #god this is so half thought out #i had titled this an au at first but then i made it head canons bc it wasn't really an au. and now the chakra parts kind of don't make sense #but i am tired. and starved for attention and ready to be done. so here we are #beas please

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ironharvests · 3 years

Note

would you tell this bitch to stop cutting my fingers off?! (hidan for jashin 🤪)

tw violence, mutilation, body horror, uhhhh other things of that nature!

god of pain, god of love. you are not two sides of the same coin so much as a plethora of emotion smelted into a single solid concept: where love goes, pain must follow. you love only in the abstract — destruction, annihilation, the blade kissing bare bellies, the trill of the sickle slicing through wheat, the lurching guts before the plummet.

you are a god. you are everything and nothing. you are divine and infernal. the ask and the answer.

you are a god; you contain multitudes.

not a single damn one of them likes hidan.

on him, even your most sacred artifacts grow plasticky and gaudy like toys. he talks, and talks, and talks, and talks. you cut his tongue out and he talks. you pull out his teeth one by one and he talks.

it’s almost admirable. you know the power of persistence; it’s why not even that DAMNED FOOL byakuren could keep you away from the nest egg you call earth. passion, persistence, and power are your lifeblood, the defining features of all who bow before you and swear fealty. devotion is worth it’s weight in gold. and for all his flaws — and there are many — not even shi can claim hidan is anything but devoted.

perhaps that is why you treat him as leniently as you do. as hidan snarls at shi and fumbles with the bloody mess of his stubby right hand, you calmly, patiently, sheathe one of your many arms inside the man’s throat and wrap your pretty, delicate fingers around his voicebox. hidan’s low moans reverberate through your palm. your fist tightens until the organ pops like a grape.

“Raise not thine voice to me, else I shall devour it,” you murmur, guiding hidan’s gaping face toward yours with a paternal grace you cannot feel. a black tongue slips between your lips to lap at the mess he’s made all over your forearm, black scorches sundering the man’s skin to ash. he must learn to curb his filthy mouth, or you shall relieve him of it.

“They take only what thee have no need of. If it is not in service of me, thee do not need it.” you say plainly, yet there is the faintest twitch of amusement in your many-voices. the skin on your shoulders bubbles and boils. eyes form in the meat of the body you now ride, irises like molten gold rolling until they fix on the crescent form of shi, your most devoted bloodpriest. a stroke of bored genius tickles your mind. “Return the phelanges — but relocate them somewhere interesting. Surprise me.” still clutching him like a rag doll, your main eyes narrow at hidan, and you shake him playfully the way a dog shakes the rabbit caught in its teeth. “We are going to play a new game. It is called the quiet game,” you say, tapping your claws against his chin. black blood spurts from your flesh and threads through his lips, sewing his mouth shut. “Look at that. I think thou art winning.”

#no this doesn’t make sense yes I am posting anyway #thinking about jashin having antiquated language as they readjust to the modern time period lol #tw violence #tw graphic violence #tw body horror #tw mutilation #answered: jashin.#verse tbt.#arc tbt.#bredfaith #😳😳😳😳 when jashin likes you and it makes them hurt you More 🥴🥴🥴🥴#muse: jashin.#i lied and used it anyway lol

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extraordinarilyirrelevant · 4 years

Text

50 shades of kakuhida pt 1

A self imposed challenge in which I recommend 50 fanfics of my fav pairing. Can range from ooc as fuck to hardcore, it’ll probably be mostly mature in nature as I take to that more than fluff, but who knows? In no particular order so have fun choosing

1) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10688020/1/More-Bitter-Than-Sweet Summary: Kakuzu has been in prison for five years and now he’s out. He’s got a lot of time to make up for and Hidan better be ready for it! PWP. KakuHidan. Oneshot

Kicking off this list with nsfw! As you can get from the summary, it’s a modern/prison type au. I remember really enjoying it my first read through, and mostly just smut

2) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3201746/1/Say-Hello-To-Your-New-Partner Summary: Kakuzu was told he’d receive his seventh and final partner in a week. He wasn’t sure he liked the evil, conniving glint in the Leader’s eyes when he told him that his new partner would be special. Crackfic!

Not really smut as I don’t recall them doing the devil’s tango. But has violence and is a pretty good read. It was inspired by canon so they feel pretty in character

3) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5345195/1/Kakuzu-and-Hidan-Alphabet Summary: Two adjectives for every letter of the alphabet that describe and unfold a story about Kakuzu and Hidan’s love. Yaoi. KakuHi. For Lecture, as a birthday present. Enjoy! M for implied naughties and Hidan’s mouth.

A pretty neat way of writing fanfiction, and a neat concept in general. Props for their creativeness and I liked reading it from start to finish wondering how the two adjectives would connect etc., Definitely a fun read

4) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6495320/1/How-to-break-a-habit Summary: Hidan wants change. Kakuzu doesn’t. KakuHida. Warnings: yaoi pairings, explicit language, sexual themes, Kisame is very OOC, Tobi and Sasori are in the Akatsuki at the same time.

I absolutely love this as it’s pure smut. The writer even made the porn the plot! Brilliant

5) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3777073/1/A-Stronger-Kind-of-Addiction Summary: The pain he gave him, the touches he received he hated himself for it, but he loved him still. [KakuHidan] [Kakuzu x Hidan]

A short pwp. Nothing to say except good shit I love a needy Hidan

6) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6979182/1/Yuuwaku Summary: “About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you’re fighting temptation.” -Tom Wilson. Kakuzu is tempted. Kakuzu x Fem!Hidan, very M.

I’m not usually one for genderbending characters as I’m a fujoshi at heart, but I rather enjoyed kakuzu resisting temptation, made the smut that much better

7) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6918534/1/Blasphemy Summary: Convicted criminal Kakuzu is in Death Row. A certain Jashin priest is sent to give him spiritual advice in his last days on Earth. WARNING: pointless smut and a little bit of asphyxiation. KuzuHidan

Another kakuhida prison au. I remember liking this, but it’s been some time since I’ve read it, might have to reread this one

8) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4598939/1/Gives-you-Hell Summary: Hidan, a successful writer, has to face a fate worse than death: meet his ex boyfriend at a high school reunion. But don’t worry, he has a plan… KakuHidan, AU

9) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4135743/1/Routine Summary: Hidan loathed Kakuzu. Kakuzu thought Hidan was amusing. And whatever they tried to do, they just can’t keep from falling into their four-step routine of fighting. A particular incident in the gold vault. KakuHida

Might be oc since the author stated that they read the Chinese manga adaptation of the zombie combo

10) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5257229/1/Matchmaking Summary: Deidara is fed up with Hidan and Kakuzu fighting all the time, and has gotten an idea to end all the fights

Although I don’t care much for crossdressing as it reminds me of my early days of yaoi *shudders* I liked this. A fun read with a funny ending

11) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3827161/1/Persuade-Me Summary: [KakuHidan] Hopefully SOMETHING can make Kakuzu pay for it…

Sneaky lil shit Hidan is best lil shit

12) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4152820/1/Glaring Summary: Short fluffy oneshot with Kaku/Hida. They’ve gotten used to working with each other, but there’s still something about Kakuzu that bothers Hidan

The smut is implied as it skips over the details, but I like the concept of kakuzu’s masks having a presence in fics

13) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4955346/1/More-Than-Fifty-Cents Summary: Hidan is a editorial columnist. One day, Kakuzu, a reporter, implies that Hidan is not even worth fifty cents. Since then, Hidan spends more time with Kisame instead of Kakuzu and the latter gets jealous. Will Kakuzu humble himself and say sorry? AU

Jealous kuzu best kuzu. Also I ship pretty much every akatsuki member with Hidan so I appreciated the kisahida despite it being purely platonic, that’s how I like it anyways (kisahida and hidadei are brotps of mine)

14) https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369665 Summary: At an age where you’re too young to have control of your body (or your thoughts) but you’re old enough to act on them, Hidan finds his control slipping away from him. It’s Kakuzu’s fault, most things are. But, did the jerk really have to walk around like that?

Love how nonchalantly we roll into smut, and love how Hidan isn’t the typical uke type

15) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13343494/1/Catkuzu

Summary: Hidan has been talked into adopting a cat, and it seems to hate him.

A little drabble about Kakuzu as a cat, turns out the last fic wasn’t the one I was thinking of, so I figured I’d change it to this one

16) https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391395 Summary: When you want someone to talk to your fellow Hufflepuff and his weird scary boyfriend about their – late night enthusiasm – who do you ask? A prefect, of course.

I just love this entire crossover series

17) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873444 Summary: Hidan is a textbook sadomasochist. He loves the bite and the sting of pain during sex and finding Kakuzu was honestly a miracle because no one else could handle him. So why does he suddenly feel so jealous of Itachi and Kisame? The world’s most disgustingly adorable couple?

18) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1622795 Summary: They aren’t necessarily in love, but they’re the best they have

No smut at all, I don’t even think it’s implied. But I loved this

19) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580348/chapters/44046472 Summary: Kakuzu, having killed yet another of his partners, is forced to tag along with Itachi and Kisame. While he’s less than thrilled by the frequent stops at tea shops, he has to admit slight intrigue when the owner of this one tries to sacrifice them all to his god.

(In which literally everything is the same except that Hidan runs a tea shop.)

Not really smutty either. But I love their form of flirting here and how Kakuzu always goes back

20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685198 Summary: There are strange moments between them, strange moments where things are almost gentle. —- Only 20 today as I need sleep and this is already long enough as it is

#Kakuhida

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ofcoursetheyrefictional · 4 years

Text

Hidan Lemon

I stood surrounded by the small group of rogue ninjas that Hidan and I had been tasked with taking out after they caused a bit of a problem with a past mission, after which they had the audacity to go around flaunting their so-called success.

According to the plan, which Hidan was both very much against and incredibly excited for, I walked directly into the clearing that the group of ninjas had (stupidly) become known for using as an ambush site. All the while I was wearing the characteristic Akatsuki cloak as a blatant come and get me to the lowlife thugs.

According to the plan, they fell right into our little trap. Mistakenly assuming that I was all on my own the five of them surrounded me.

"Hello Doll, that's a lovely little cloak you've got there but I can't see a sweet looking little thing such as yourself ever knowing anything about the Akatsuki." The whole team chuckled around me and the leader stepped forward.

I did my best to maintain a demure and shy facade for the unsuspecting victims.

"How about we just take that off ya and save you the trouble that comes with it."

I looked down trying to look even more pitiful than before, "B-but it's so warm and I get cold so easily."

"Then how about I keep you warm instead sweetheart." His smile was anything but sincere, it was crooked and demeaning. He stepped forward and reached out to undo the top of my cloak.

That was enough, not only did we have them right where we wanted them but Hidan couldn't take it anymore. No one else was allowed to touch you but him.

"I really wouldn't fucking do that if I were you." Hidan stepped out from around the tree he had been watching behind.

The leader stepped up and turned me around putting a kunai to my neck. "Why wouldn't I? This pretty little thing couldn't possibly be yours."

I watched as bloodlust and rage flooded Hidan's eyes. "Hi Baby, do you want this one or can I have him?"

Hidan lowered his head and smirked at me, "You can have him. I'll have plenty with the rest of these."

As Hidan pulled out his scythe and lashed out at the lesser four ninjas, I reached into the sleeve of my cloak and pulled out a thin piece of wire. I threw my arms up and wrapped the wire around the leader's head before twisting out of his grasp. I wrapped the wire around one more time before dragging him behind me as I walked over to Hidan. The wild grin on his face was intoxicating, the blood splattered across his face and chest was delectable and the passionate look in his eye was maddening.

I marched up to him, the leader still struggling and choking against the wire slung over my shoulder. I reached up and grabbed the back of Hidan's head down and crashing my lips into his. "Will Jashin be happy with all of this my darling?"

"I do believe he will, hot-stuff." I laughed at Hidan's excitement.

I was about to turn around and take care of the squirming leader when Hidan grabbed me by the waist with one hand and pulled me back against him for another sloppy kiss. For the second we both forgot about the pile of half-dead bodies surrounding us the kiss started to get heated.

Hidan's tongue swiped across my bottom lip and I took the chance to bite it, pulling it into my mouth. I sank my teeth into his tongue harder and sucked away any blood that came to the surface.

I felt the leader struggle against the wire and I pulled back from my love, "You shouldn't keep Jashin waiting. We can come back to this later, Sexy."

"You better keep that promise, Bitch."

"Why wouldn't I, Smart-ass. It's taking everything in me not to jump you right now."

With that, I turned my attention back to the leader and Hidan walked to the center of the clearing to start his ritual. I knelt down so I was eye level with his blue colored face. I pulled the wire tight and watched as beads of blood formed around his neck. His eyes went bloodshot and his face turned fully purple before the wire cut through his soft tissue and hit bone. His blood splattered across my face and dripped down the front of my cloak. I gave one last tug on the wire and his head popped off, severed between his vertebrae.

I turned from my place on the ground and watched as Hidan dragged a blade across his arm and anywhere else he could reach before driving a stake through his chest. It was spectacular to watch as the screams of anguish filled the air. As heretical as it may have been it almost felt as if Hidan was making a sacrifice to me at the same time as his god.

When the ritual had ended and Hidan's skeletal visage had faded to his normal skin he stepped out of his Jashinist symbol and strode over to where I was still kneeling, ahead still laying in my lap.

To Hidan, it was the most beautiful sight in the world. The love of his immortal life covered in blood after inciting chaos and pain with him. It was a stunning, erotic, and religious experience from him.

"You have a fucking promise to keep." He held his hand out to me and pulled me up flush against his chest and crashed his lips against mine, biting and pulling at my bottom lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to wrap my legs around his waist. His hands moved to grip my ass holding me up and squeezing at the same time. I moaned against his lips.

He hoisted me up higher moving his lips, tongue, and teeth now dancing over my blood-covered neck. I sighed and let my head roll back giving him all the space he needed to drive me crazy. He walked the two of us over to a tree and pressed me up against it, his mouth never leaving my neck.

With me wedged between him and the tree he moved his hands up my sides to my chest where he groped my chest humming in excitement. He pulled away from my neck and chest undoing my cloak, ripped open my shirt, and cut away my bra.

He looked me up and down admiring how the now drying blood had trailed down over my chest and down my cleavage.

"Hot damn, you're so fucking hot, Babe."

I hummed lazily and ran a finger down his neck and bare chest. "Only for you, Baby. Now, are you going to do something with me or just stand there and ogle."

Hidan's eyes darkened and he let out a low growl.

He set me down on the ground and I threw off my cloak and ruined shirt. He pushed me back onto the grass throwing off his own cloak before laying in between my legs and hovering over me. He kissed me again and my hands gripped his hair. We fought back and forth for more control of the kiss but he won taking all of the space in my mouth that he could. I sucked on his tongue and he moaned into the kiss. His lips left my own and made their way back down my neck and over my chest. His hand came to knead and grope one of my breasts while his mouth latched on to the other, nipping and sucking and licking my nipple. I could feel his erection pressing against the inside of my thigh, this was driving him just as mad as it was me.

"Hidan, you're being a tease, Baby." I moaned out.

He bit down on my nipple and came off with a pop, "I know exactly what I'm doing, don't you fucking worry."

The sound of his voice and his warm breath against my bare chest only intensified the growing warmth shooting through me. Hidan moved further down my body leaving a trail of hickeys down to the edge of my pants and bite marks down my sides.

His hand never leaving my breast, Hidan used his other hand to undo my pants and underwear, pulling them off. He sits back his hands leaving my body, staring at me fully exposed in front of him.

I squirmed and whined at the lack of physical attention, "Hidan, Baby. Come back, I want more. Don't leave me cold down here."

He leaned back down next to my ear and put his large warm hand around my throat squeezing. "Shut up woman. The only thing that I want to hear out of that pretty mouth of yours is you moaning my name while I have my fun torturing you."

I shuttered at his words and a heat that felt like I was being boiled from the inside out shot through my center. I bit my lip not ready to give him the satisfaction of hearing me moan his name after his comment.

I looked him in the eye letting him know that I wasn't going to give in just yet. In return, he brought his fingers to his lips and put them in his mouth getting them wet. I sucked in a breath of anticipation knowing what was coming next.

He trailed his fingers down over my searing skin before rubbing them down in between my folds brushing past my clit. My eyes rolled back. I bit my lips resisting the urge to moan out loud. Hidan laughed, it was like he said, he knew exactly what he was doing.

"You don't even have to moan to tell me what I want to hear, you're dripping wet."

He shoved two fingers inside of me and started to curl up. My mouth fell open and I couldn't hold back anymore, "Mmm- Hidan."

He smirked, "That's more like it."

He moved back down my body leaving a trail of kisses hickeys and bite marks down my stomach and sides all the while still hitting every perfect spot inside of me.

I could feel the coil in the pit of my belly tightening, clamping down around his fingers. "Fuck Hidan, don't stop, please. I'm gonna cum."

"Not yet."

I whimpered unsure if I could control myself but he pulled his fingers away. He quickly replaced them with his tongue, his other hand pulling away from my neck to hold my legs down.

As he lapped at my core and clit I got closer and closer than I had been before, still trying to hold myself together. He moved to pay full attention to my clit and slid his fingers back inside of me. A loud string of moans fell out of my mouth unable to form words anymore.

"Fuck, you taste so good."Hidan hummed against me, it sent me over the edge. My back arched and my hands grasped at Hidan's hair.

When my back finally relaxed, my hands released, and Hidan left his place between my thighs he came crawling up my body to plant his lips against mine. I could taste myself on him and it restarted the entire process. The fire in my belly reigniting.

I released one hand from Hidan’s hair completely and rubbed his still raging member through his pants. He groaned against my mouth and pressed against my hand.

I broke the kiss, "Take these off."

Hidan smiled devilishly down at me and stood up to take them off. When he had them down he thought he was going to crawl back on top but I stood up and pushed him back on the grass and climbed on top of him. I straddled him and buried my face in his neck, grinding against him as I sucked dark hickeys into his skin.

Hidan grabbed my hips stopping me in my tracks, I sat up and stared at him. He stared up at me through half-lidded eyes.

Before I knew what was happening I had been flipped over and flipped again so I was on all fours facing away from the now kneeling Hidan.

his hands grabbed my hair and tugged back, pulling my ear to his face. "I never said you could torture me, Y/N."

I got what I wanted, Hidan slid into me started rapidly bucking his hips against my own. Each movement felt like pure ecstasy and each time he hit the perfect spot I could feel myself getting closer. Our moans and words were all breathless but hearing my name fall from Hidan's mouth drove me to the brink.

My walls clamped tighter around Hidan's member and it only intensified every erotic sensation. "Oh god, Hidan."I could hardly get the words out, "Fuck, Baby, I'm gonna cum."

His grip on my waist tightened and he pulled back on my hair. My back arched. "Oh fuck yes, cum on me, Babe."

Every muscle in my body clenched as I rode out my high, Hidan filling me up not long after.

He slumped on the grass next to me and I rolled over to lay down next to him. Both of our breathing was heavy in the best way possible.

"I hope you don't think that we're done."

I turned to look at him, his cheeks flushed and hair messy. "I would hope not, my love. especially when you lay there looking like that."

I rolled so my upper half was laying on his chest and kissed him. Just as he went running his tongue along my lip I pulled away. "That, however, will have to wait. We need to get back to the hideout. Besides the ground has not been kind to my hands and knees."

Hidan rolled his eyes but got up and got dressed none the less.

Once I was dressed as well as I could be we started walking back down the path to the hideout. I was startled by suddenly being thrown over Hidan's shoulder. I whacked his back, "What the hell, Babe."

"You said your knees hurt, besides I like the view up here."

#hidan #naruto #oneshot #lemon #dont fucking report me #akatuski #death #blood #tease #vulgar

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sup-hoes-its-me · 5 years

Text

Crush (Kisame x Reader)

A/N: imagine Kisame having a huge crush on an Uchiha (other than Itachi lmao). Haven’t updated this blog in like 6 months but i had this one unfinished so i added an ending and here you go.

word count: 5364

Boy, was Itachi surprised to see me. Same with Tobi, who faltered under his guise for only a second upon seeing me waltz up to the Akatsuki members in the forest one night. Apparently I was supposedly dead in a massacre years ago, and was banned from entering Konoha ever again as I was “an invader under a clone jutsu”.

Bullshit.

I’m Y/N Uchiha, and I was on a mission when the clan massacre took place. I lost my way back to the village and ended up staying for a few years in the Sand village to collect my bearings. Only to find out that when I returned, I’d been presumed dead and then be shunned.

Frankly, I was pissed. I was only from a lower, unimportant branch of the Uchiha, but I knew Itachi personally. I didn’t know what in the hell compelled him to murder his own clan, but it really, really made me angry. I scoured the woods and the deserts and every village I could until I finally stumbled upon Itachi and these weirdos in cloaks.

I thought they were in some weird cult, and honestly, I wasn’t too far off with that assumption.

Little did I know I would join their “cult” soon after. I got my own ring and cloak and everything. The only thing I lacked was a true partner. I worked a little with everyone. Sometimes I went on missions with Itachi and his partner, other times I went with Sasori or Kakuzu. Whenever I was needed, I went out on Pein’s command.

I did have a preference though, as I was attached to a certain shark man. Right from the start I was drawn to kisame and his gentle, relaxed personality. While the other members of the organization had these overzealous personalities and their insane reasons to fight, Kisame was different.

While he appeared intimidating and frankly quite horrifying, towering over my smaller frame with those gills and sharp teeth, when he opened his mouth to speak, he was strikingly charming. I don’t know how to properly describe it, or this feeling I get when I think of or see him.

My first impression of him was very pleasant though, which could have something to do with my...interest in him.

He was kind when I first joined and offered to help me get adjusted. I looked like a sloppy mess as I trudged into the cave, closely followed by Tobi, who was pressing firmly on my shoulder, despite his friendly nature. I could sense the tension between me and the masked man clearly.

Apparently, there was something he didn’t like about me. Something that shocked him. I’d never met the man in my life so I wasn’t really sure what to say to the guy. He was a bit too eccentric anyway, so it was probably best he didn’t want to talk to me.

Immediately I was ushered into a room to speak to a guy with orange hair and quite a few piercings, damn. He was pretty pleased to see me, and after I was forced to tell him of my three chakra natures and my mangekyou sharingan, he demanded I join his cult otherwise I would basically be murdered.

I didn’t have anything going for me at the time. I was banished from my home, not that I had anything to return to. My entire fucking clan, save for me, Sasuke, and Itachi were dead. I was a strange mix between a rogue and a ghost. I was just going to stumble around, taking odd jobs and living in run down motels for the rest of my life if I hadn’t taken the shot.

So I joined them. I was asked for my cloak size so a man called Kakuzu could buy it for me. Then, I was given a ring. I would have to wear it all time, blah blah blah. Whatever.

He then called another person into the room, Kisame. The man, whom I soon discovered was incredibly built and tall, entered the office and nodded to his leader politely.

“I’d like you to show Y/N around the compound and show her to her room. The one beside Hidan and Kakuzu’s,” he commanded curtly, but with such poise and strength. He was meant to a leader, I thought as I observed the redhead out of the corner of my eye. With a wave of his hand, I slung my bag over my shoulder and followed the tall, blue man out of the room into the dark and dank hallway, only lit by a small skylight at the end.

The man shifted in his place once we stopped outside the now closed doors. “I’m Kisame Hoshigaki of the Village Hidden in the Rain,” he introduced shortly, causing a small, grateful smile to touch my lips. At least he had the decency to introduce himself like a normal person. Most people in here seem like they wouldn’t give you the time of day, especially Pein. “It’s always great to meet new members of the Akatsuki, eh.”

“I’m Y/N Uchiha. It’s great to meet you too. You actually seem kinda cool, unlike that Tobi guy or Pein.”

“They grow on you eventually,” he laughed nervously, running a hand through his blue hair. “And...did you say Uchiha? Like Itachi-”

“Yes, that Uchiha. God, it seems like all anyone cares about is my clan.No one gives two shits about me as a fucking person. It’s always sharingan this, fire jutsu that, Itachi this, god damn,” I finished my rant sternly, crossing my arms over my chest.

“No! It’s not that I really care if you’re an Uchiha or not, I mean, even if you weren't from the clan you’d still be a great ninja I’m sure,” he defended, his grip on his sword tightening and loosening as he worked his way through the explanation. I actually found it quite endearing that he cared this much. “It’s just that I thought Itachi killed his entire clan, is all. Meant no offense to you, little kunoichi.”

“It’s really fine. I was hardly angry with you, really just that Pein guy. Honestly, I only avoided death by sheer luck. Been wandering since then, pretty much alone,” I told him. “Maybe joining you guys’ll be good for me. I’ll get to be around people again, be on a team and all.”

“Better than being alone, right?” His lips curved into a crooked smile, a single fang sticking out over his bottom lip. “But let me tell you, you gotta be pretty careful around here. Some of us aren’t as friendly as others.”

I nodded, agreeing with him. I did appreciate the warning though. Maybe this guy would be my key to getting along with everyone around here. I certainly didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. “Well, I’d figure as much. You guys are s-rank rogues.”

“Yeah. I mean, some of us are pretty decent. Konan, Itachi, and Kakuzu are cool,” he told me before he grew a bit serious.

“Something wrong?” I asked quietly, nudging his arm gently.

“Oh, yep. Just thinking of how to warn you about the others. Firstly, I’d tell you to avoid Hidan at all costs. He’s a serial killer and a pervert. He’s actually in the room next to yours, but he shares it with Kakuzu so you shouldn’t have to worry all that much about a surprise visit.”

I laughed, shaking my head at the imagine of a strange, perverted man creeping the halls at night. It wasn’t exactly a laughing matter, but I wasn’t exactly in the most mundane of situations. “Good to know. I’ll be locking my door at night then.”

“Oh, he’s only one of them. Deidara is an artist, but he’s constantly blowing things up. Explosions nearly everyday. Sasori is the total opposite, but he’s a serial killer too. He turns people he admires into puppets for his strange army. He’s a master of chakra strings.”

I hummed, nodding my head. So far this place sounded like a nightmare, but I’m sure there was worse to come. “Anyone else?!” I questioned, peering up at him to see his nod.

He said this casually, might I add, and I couldn’t believe my ears. “Zetsu, but he kinda lives in the garden. He’s half Venus flytrap and eats dead bodies.” How can a person say that shit so calmly? Like I’d be running for the hills if I saw some weird plant dude eat a body, damn.

I whispered under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear, “Holy shit.”

He laughed loudly, clapping a hand on my shoulder for reassurance. “Don’t think about it too much. As long as you stick by me or Itachi, you’ll be fine.”

I smiled, beginning our walk down the long hallway on my personal hideout tour. Seems like this new life I entered would be quite the adventure. And I already had a friend.

______________________________________________

Tiredly, I threw myself onto the couch in the living room, right between Kisame and Itachi, neither seemed to mind my abrupt company. The last mission I was assigned to was long, tedious, and exhausting, and I just wanted to drink my goddamn tea. Deidara almost got us all killed with his fucking saliva clay, and I was avoiding him at all costs.

I took a long sip of my mediocre tea and sighed, letting the stream of warmth from the cup waft into my face. Kisame shifted so his arm was slung over the back cushions, his fingers just skimming my shoulder. I didn’t think much of it other than it being a friendly gesture, sinking further back into the couch. My head tilted back so it rested in the crook of his elbow.

“Tired?” Itachi asked, peering over at me through the corner of his eye.

“More pissed than anything, but yeah,” I replied bluntly. Maybe I wasn’t the best person in the organization to sugarcoat things, and I never lied about how I felt. “Deidara was a pain and Tobi just annoyed me.”

My fellow Uchiha nodded. “As per usual.” He understood the pain of working with a bunch of dumbasses. Not Kisame though. Of course not. Whenever I went on missions with the pair, he was always pretty compliant and a lovely team player. When he fought Gai, I swear I’d never been more impressed with water jutsu in my life.

I closed my eyes peacefully. “At least I get to relax now.” I took another long sip of my tea before placing it on the coffee table in front of me. Then, I curled my legs up on the cushions beside me, leaning most of my body weight against Kisame. Unlike Itachi, he never shied away from physical contact, so I figured he wouldn’t mind.

He didn’t. In fact, he brought his arm down to rest on my shoulders and curl around me. For a split second, I swear I felt my heart beat faster at his affectionate touch. Why? I’m not sure. He was only a friend, one of the best I had.

“You’re so cold, Kisa,” I whined, poking him in the ribs.

He chuckled. “That’s because I’m half cold blooded, remember?”

“How the hell does that even happen anyway. I never got to ask. Was your mom a human and your dad a shark or-” I questioned, which I quickly realized after I spoke how absolutely idiotic I sounded. Itachi even let out a small huff of amusement, while the man in question only roared with laughter, his free hand going to rest over his eyes.

“No. It’s my chakra reserves. My whole clan has these shark characteristics because of our overwhelming chakra levels,” he explained to me, making me feel even dumber. Of course it was his chakra reserves not some weird beastiality thing. Oh my god. I felt my cheeks turning red, and I prayed that he wouldn’t look down to see. Only, he did, and he proceeded to poke my cheek playfully. “Your face is turning as red as Sasori’s hair, little kunoichi.”

“It’s just hot in here-”

He smirked, flashing those sharp teeth at me. “I thought you said it was cold.”

“Oh, shut up!” I grumbled, burying my face into my hands to hide the furthering blush. This frustrated me to no end because I never grew flustered like this before. Not when I was living in the village, not when I hung out with Deidara or Konan or even Hidan. This was stupid. I needed to get a grip fast.

Itachi shifted on the chair until his weight was lifted. He side-eyed us for a quick moment before looking away and heading for the door. “I’m going to my room. I have to paint my nails.”

“But you just did that yesterday-” Kisame was saying before the door shut across the room and Itachi completely avoided his accusations. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair, something I found he always did when he was thinking or nervous about something. Fine by me. His hair always amused me anyway, with the way it stuck up unnaturally. “Guess he had something to do.”

I sighed and shook my head softly. “I guess so. But you know him. Always so elusive. So mysterious,” I laughed, poking fun at my fellow clansman.

“I’m starting to think that’s an Uchiha thing,” my friend hummed, pressing his finger to his lips in thought.

With a furious shake of my head, I protested, “Come on, Kisa. I’m the opposite of mysterious or elusive. I’m blunt as hell and you know it.” I did not want to be known as another Emo Uchiha with daddy issues. I’d already labeled myself as the cool, fun Uchiha anyway.

Just then, the door flew open, and in entered my favorite Jashinist. His brows raised when he caught sight of us cuddled up on the couch. “Am I interrupting your guys’ date or something?”

Shit. I jumped from my place on the couch, brushing down the invisible dust on my pants. “Nope, definitely not. I was just about to head to my room anyway, Hidan so don’t mind me,” I rushed to defend myself, pushing down the red that was tainting my cheeks.

A date? What the hell? Kisame and I were only friends, strictly friends.

I turned to look at Kisame as I walked out of the room to see him pouting, glaring at my tea cup on the coffee table. His cheeks were a faint shade of purple. As I shut the door, slipping past Hidan, we caught eyes. He looked hurt and embarrassed. Just what had I done to upset him? I didn’t want Hidan to make any suggestions about our relationship. I hardly thought that would offend him.

Hidan chuckled as he entered the room,“Ouch! That’s gotta sting, buddy.” He spoke just loud enough that I could hear before the knob clicked shut. What did that dumbass religion freak mean by that?

______________________________________________________

“What the hell do you mean?!” I screeched, only to clasp a hand over my lips when I realized I’d caught the attention of a few passerbyers in the hall. I did not calm down, but let my voice sink to a lower level. The crazy white haired man stared at me, patiently waiting for an answer. I had to refuse. There was no way I couldn’t. “No, I will not go on a date with you, you pervert.”

“But Y/N, listen. You’re hot, I’m smoking...We’d be a good pair-”

“Hidan! No!” I cried. “Sorry to break it to you, pal, but I’m not attracted to you at all.”

“Listen, I just need you there to make this chick jealous, get it? She works at the sushi joint in town, and goddamn is she fucking sexy. I need you to make me look like hot shit,” he finally confessed. I knew he couldn’t possibly be asking me on this date without some sort of advantage for him. He’s known me for years and never implied a romance other than hopeless, filthy flirting.

Frustrated, I shoved on his chest. “You dumb bitch. You just wanna use me to get this common girl? Not a sacrifice this time, huh?”

He shook his head, that wicked smile crossing his lips once again. Rolling my eyes, I listened as he cackled, “Oh, no, I’ll definitely kill her. I just wanna fuck her first.” Not only was that incredibly evil, but just plain disgusting. Hidan was that person that you constantly want to strangle.

“I really don’t want to help you. I think what you’re doing is degrading and shallow.”

“Oh fuck off, Y/N. As if what you’re doing isn’t just as degrading.”

I turned swiftly to glare at him. I didn’t have a single clue what the fuck he was talking about, and honestly, I didn’t enjoy being accused of such bullshit either. “What the ever-living fuck are you talking about?”

“Like you don’t know. You’ve been leading him on for months now.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sharkboy, you know, the one who’s fucking in love with you.”

Well, that infuriated me. How dare he imply that our friendship was anything more than that! Just as I reached up, grabbing the collar of his cloak to yank him down to my level, fully prepared to scream in his ugly, Jashinist face, the door swung open.

Also in a humorous way, both our heads turned to see who it was at the same time, rage radiated from our bodies like fire. Itachi raised both his hands in surrender as he peered at us. “Not to interrupt anything, but Pein wants to see you, Hidan,” he spoke calmly, but I didn’t miss the quirk a smile at the corner of his lips.

I released his cloak from my iron grip and pushed him away. “What the hell did you do this time, Hidan?”

“Like I know,” he replied grumpily. “We’ll continue this later.”

“No, we won’t,” I snapped as he walked out of the room, throwing the middle finger out as he left. With a sigh, I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. He was a pain in my ass, that's for sure.

Itachi gave me a curt nod before walking out of the room and down the hall. Now that I was alone, my thoughts were shifting. I took a moment to recall what Hidan had said, those things he said about me and Kisame. We were only friends, I thought, ever since I joined the Akatsuki it had been that way. He was my closest companion and we hung out all the time.He never implied that he wanted anything other than what we had.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed. How did I feel about Kisame? He was kind and sweet and listened to my every word. He let me hold him when I cried, and I held him when he was hurt. We had something special.

Was Kisame in love with me?

Did I love him?

__________________________________________

Things were different after I realized I might have feelings for Kisame. I couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore without getting lost in thought. Do I love you, I would question myself over and over again until I forced myself to wake up. Was it worth it to say anything at all? To even think these things and ruin everything?

I sat back on the couch, my knees pulled up to my chest and my chin resting on my knees, trying to drown myself in mindless conversation when really I couldn’t get him off my mind. I was dying to think of anything else, something to take me away from this hell I’d dug myself into.

And then he sat next to me. Itachi settled himself into the seat beside me and took his tea cup to his lips, taking a long sip of what smelled like green tea. I peered over at him from the corner of my eye, only to look right away when I saw him staring back at me, waiting for me to break the silence.

He obviously knew I had something heavy on my mind.

“Y/N. What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

I didn’t reply. I just breathed into the fabric of my pants, burying my nose into my knees. I couldn’t just tell him. I couldn’t let anyone know. Once you tell one person, it’s not a secret anymore. I could trust Itachi, I knew that...it was just so difficult when you’re lost for words.

And as humiliating as it was, a few tears dripped down my cheeks as I kept trying to steady my breathing. I hugged myself tighter into this smothersome ball I’d trapped myself in. Isolation hurt, but the company of a friend hurt even more. I sniffed in a desperate attempt to suck up my tears and pretend it never happened.

I was an s-rank rogue. I wasn’t supposed to cry over something as silly and dramatic as this. It was pathetic. I’m sure Itachi was thinking the same thing as he watched me fall apart.

“I don’t know what to do, Itachi,” I whispered.

He was silent, as if waiting for me to continue. I still kept my eyes averted, too embarrassed to see the pity in his eyes, if there was any at all. “I can’t figure out how I feel about him, and it’s killing me. I can’t even look him in the eyes anymore,” whimpered fell from my lips, and I sucked in, my breath hitching. “I’m terrified of losing him.”

“Ah. I see. I’m not the best at giving advice, but I’ve learned,” he paused, and I turned to look at him finally through blurry, salty tears. “If you are this broken about losing him, then that means something. You don’t need him, but you want him terribly.”

“I do.”

“You want to keep him from harm and protect him.”

Nod.

“You look forward to seeing his face when you come back from a mission, and you feel your heart race when he comes back home safe.”

Again, I nodded. I understood where he was going though. “I love him.”

“So tell him.”

“When?”

“When it’s right.”

“Why do you always speak in riddles? Dammit,” I joked, wiping away the last of my tears on my cheeks and at the corners of my eyes. He sighed, taking another sip of his drink. He’d done a good job, comforting me. Even though he said he was terrible at advice, I’d consider that a fine job.

I stood from my spot. “You’re going now?”

“No time like the present, Itachi. You’ve given me the nerve and I can’t let that go.” Sadly, I was not able to do as a wished. Deidara burst into the room, his eyes wider than usual. He glanced from Itachi to me, and it was obvious he’d broken some sort of tension between us. He looked frantic though, almost scared.

I spun around to face him, my hair swinging over my shoulder and the color draining from my cheeks. All the courage I had was gone. It was replaced with curiosity. “Dei? What’s wrong?”

“Pein wants you, Tobi, and me on a mission right away. We leave in five minutes,” he informed me quickly before leaving without shutting the door.

I let my breath escape from my lips, and my heart to sink in my chest, heavy like a rock in the ocean. I turned to Itachi for a moment, only to see him frown and shake his head. For a brief moment, I held all the courage in the world. Not the same courage you have to muster to fight another shinobi or the courage you hold between your grinding teeth as you get stitches.

No, this bravery was different. I had a feeling I wouldn’t find it in me again.

___________________________________________________

We came home from the emergency mission nearly a month later. It turned out to be much trickier than we initially expected. The entire trip nearly cost us our lives, as I’d had two near-death experiences and Deidara one. My cloak was staining with blood many times, and I don’t think a hundred washes could get the faint brown stains out.

When I finally came back to the cave, I practically collapsed in my bed after tossing my dirty cloak to the floor and pulling my hair from the ponytail tugging at my scalp. Finally, my own mattress, my own room, my own bathroom. I just wanted to crawl into the sheets and not come out for a year.

Unfortunately, I was not given the chance to rest when a soft knock came from my door. I swore, if it was Tobi or Deidara, I would slaughter them. I rolled over so my face was buried in my pillow. “Yes?!” I shouted, although it was muffled by the cushion. “It it’s you Tobi, leave me the fuck alone!”

The heavy wood door creaked open, scratching the floor as it slid along the torn floor board. “Actually, it’s Kisame. I can come by some other time if you-”

“No. no. Come in. I haven’t seen you in forever," I told him from my place on my bed, already scorching over a bit so he would have room to sit. He was a pretty big guy after all. I wondered how he could possibly be comfortable in the tiny beds Kakuzu gets for the organization.

He entered my room quietly, his eyes searching the room anywhere but on me. He seemed just a bit shy or intimidated which was definitely not like Kisame. He wasn't afraid of many things.

"You okay?"

He shook his head, snapping out of whatever place he zoned out to. "Yeah, I'm totally fine. Just worried about you is all."

"Worried about me? Why?" I asked with a bit of a smirk. After all, I was one of the only remaining Uchiha, and I had a bit of a special gift as far as kekkei genkai goes. "I can handle myself just fine, Kisa."

He smiled weakly and nodded. "I know you can. I know. You're almost better than me-" I glared which made his smile grow toothily, his fangs sticking out over his bottom lip. "It's just that Pein told me that Deidara made a mistake and that it almost cost three members of our team."

"Kisame, it's fine."

"Not really...to me at least."

I waved him over to my bed, the huge empty space I left for him. He hesitantly walked over, and I noticed something was wrong in his stance. He stood nervously, with his fingers running through his hair every now and then. He stood with his back hunched over a bit, something he rarely did.

“Are you okay? You look kinda sick,” I asked as he sat beside me. He frowned, but didn’t reply so I pushed. “Really, Kisame, you need to talk about something? Uncertainty doesn’t look very good on you.”

He waved offhandedly. “I’ve just been worried. It feels like we haven’t spoken in forever.”

“Well, it’s been a long month away, you’re right.”

At first when I first saw Kisame, I completely forgot about the conversation Itachi and I had before I left for my mission. Supposedly Kisame was in love with me, that’s what Hidan said at least. And I was beginning to think I loved him too. I’d never been in love before, nothing serious at least. I’d dated when I was younger, but for short times with the wrong people. Kisame just seemed right for me, as cliche as that sounds.

As I looked up at him, sitting in the bed beside me, thoughts rushed into my mind. The fast that he looked incredibly handsome, even though he had a deep frown and sadness etched into features. He radiated a sort of warmth that I missed on my trip.

Was this the right time to tell him? I had no idea. I just knew that I wanted him.

I was just so afraid, and no matter how much Itachi's words had encouraged me, I couldn't open my mouth to tell him. I didn't have too many weaknesses but this one really had me struggling.

"So-"

"Uh, yeah-"

I shook my head and bit my lip. "Sorry. Sorry. You first."

"Listen, Y/N. I realized something while you were on your last mission. It's been eating at me for a couple weeks now and I- well shit. I don't fucking know," he sighed, pressing his hand to his head and groaning. He ran his fingers down his face, his eyes once again trailing up to awkwardly stare at me.

"Kisame, whatever it is, I promise it's okay."

"I just...well, I never want you to leave me again. I hate the thought of you leaving with those idiots and dying without me there to try and save you. I don't want you out of my sight because one of those times will be the last time I ever see you, and shit that scares me."

Oh. Wow. I wasn't expecting that. I knew he was nervous about me leaving, how can he not be. It's easy to die out there when things go wrong. But his concern was different than anyone else's. Hell, Itachi was my cousin and he didn't worry so much about me.

I looked away, eyes averted to the ground nervously. I was embarrassed. No one said those things to me. To have someone care so much about me made me feel sick to my stomach. I pressed a shaky hand to my abdomen and let out a deep breath.

I muttered, "Kisame, why…"

"Y/N, you don't get it. I care about you. You're so strong and dedicated and special, and-fuck." He paused. I still was too afraid to look at him. This entire situation didn't seem real. There was no way that my feelings for him were reciprocated. "You know, you're so nice but damn do you make this hard to talk about."

"Before I went on my trip, I was talking to Itachi, and he gave me some advice. Unfortunately before I could act on what he told me, Pein took me away," I confessed quietly, taking my time to explain so I could muster up some courage. I was an Uchiha, not some little bitch. Come on. Again, I explained, "I had a lot of time to think about what I would say and how I would do it. This is the only scenario that didn't play out in my head. They were mostly negative ones, I have to admit."

My smile was lopsided and I had to contain the shivers going through my body. "I guess what I want to tell you is that I love you," I confessed and a weight was lifted off my shoulders immediately. "We've been friends for so long and I couldn't stand laughing with you and talking to you and fighting alongside you acting like this is still just friendship."

"Funny. I was thinking the same thing."

We both smiled for a moment at each other, just too happy to reply. Things turned out much simpler than I thought they would, and I felt my heart swell with happiness. He loved me back and that’s all I could ask for. Sure, it would be difficult to keep up our relationship with the business we’re in, but we would make it work.

A/N: Yeah, this one is kinda shitty. I couldn’t think of an ending at all. Sorry to all Kisame lovers.

#naruto x reader #naruto #naruto shippuden #kisame hoshigaki #kisame x reader #x reader #mine #writing #sorry i havent posted in so long folks but college is tedious and im kinda engaged so life has been busy af #thanks for reading and enjoy #akatsuki #akatsuki x reader

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naruto-fanfictionblog · 4 years

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Top 5 Akatsuki F/o's For This Blog

Obviously these are just my own opinion. I am an Akatsuki girl all the way, and have a little love for them all. Just thought it would be fun to list out the ones I would personally put top and forward.

Deidara -

Alright, this is my plushie status tier. He's been an f/o for as long as Kakashi Hatake, and I swear he deserved better than the organization itself. He will be getting a lot of HC's during lulls.

Kakuzu -

This man...there is no explaination. Okay, maybe there is. He's very no-nonsense, mature, and I mean, just look at him. This man will also be getting a bunch of HC's.

Konan -

This woman is seriously radiant. I cannot begin to explain everything I love about this badass, but you will be seeing some self-indulgent HC's from time to time with her.

Hidan -

Sadistic, passionate...oh Jashin, I have sinned. Reader is going to be a gift from Jashin for him, and I find that in itself just adorable.

Sasori -

A little distant, but he has a beating heart in his core. Though he felt a severe amount of pain that closed him off, I'm sure this cute puppet boy has the capacity for emotion. (My own personal opinion, and I understand if others feel otherwise.) I recently wrote a one shot for him, and this blog will have plenty more to come of our hot puppet boy.

Honorable Mentions

Itachi -

This man just simply deserved better. Both of our honorable mentions do, and I'd love to have seen him happy with his brother, enjoying a normal life. He deserves tons of love, but I couldn't place him myself.

Yahiko -

I feel like sometimes we forget that before Nagato made himself into a god, there was an adorable orange spiked man by his side. This man deserved better, but he also could use to get some piercings >///<. Regardless, I will be writing for him as well as Pein/Nagato.

#anime #naruto blog #naruto #not a headcanon #naruto headcanons open #akatsuki #naruto top 5 #akatsuki top 5 #kakuzu #yahiko #itachi #akatsuki deidara #deidara #sasori #konan akatsuki #konan naruto #ask box open #send me asks

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

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Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Eight // Kakuzu

What is with this group and wasting their free time doing such inane and pointless things? The old guy can think of at least 50 other activities (the majority of which involve making money) that everyone could be doing, rather than lining up to kiss each under a little green plant. When it’s his turn in the spotlight, he tries as hard as he can to back out of his “obligation” ... but Pein (and Kakuzu’s own persistent partner, Hidan) insist that Kakuzu participate. Kakuzu sighs and nods; he’s smart enough to know when he’s been defeated. However, Pein should know that Kakuzu will be adding a little extra money to his paycheck that week, for “hazard pay”.

Pein

Nagato was more interested in Kakuzu joining his group than any of the others. Immortality, money-sense, expertise and wisdom ... this is the man who survived the wars of the past. This is the man who survived the mighty Hashirama, God of all shinobi. Still, Nagato is no fool; he realizes that Kakuzu’s number one priority in life isn’t the Akatsuki, but money. Kakuzu would probably (and had likely thought about) betray them all in exchange for a tidy sum. So Nagato (as Pein) works to keep Kakuzu content enough to remain loyal, including making him the group’s treasurer and giving him complete control over everyone’s finances. And Kakuzu remains highly useful; strategizing, completing missions twice as fast (and ten times as efficient) as his younger teammates. Pein approaches Kakuzu and gives him a light kiss on the forehead, before returning to his room. He reminds himself to speak to Kakuzu later; he has some ideas about weapons he’d like to procure for the group, and needs to see if it would be financially feasible to do so.

Konan

Kakuzu genuinely likes Konan, and appreciates her company. Many men of Kakuzu’s generation were raised on the belief system that women were solely meant to be wives, child-bearers, and home-makers; to call a female a ninja was deemed unthinkable. But Kakuzu was a rarity in that he never saw this as being the case; man or woman, one’s inner strength was all that mattered in regards to being a shinobi. He’s spoken with Konan at length about her childhood, and the trauma she endured, and he knows that this little blue-haired lady is a sight tougher than a LOT of people (and Kakuzu’s met quite a few in his long life). Konan walks up to him and he smiles; it’s rare for Kakuzu to smile, but Konan brings it out of him. “Good evening, Kakuzu-san. I think it’s my turn.” He nods, and slips off his mask so that his lips are exposed. He leans down and very, very gently kisses her cheek. Her blushing skin is soft and her smile is beautiful as she thanks him and steps away, to let the next person go.

Kisame

Nobody knows this about Kakuzu (and he fears he would be mocked if they did), but the old guy puts a lot of emphasis on the idea of exercise. Five hearts is a lot of responsibility, and staying healthy is how Kakuzu intends to keep living forever. So every night, when the others are asleep and after he’s done with his reading, he’ll spend some time in his room exercising. One night Kisame passed by his open door and saw him using a pair of heavy books as make-shift weights. The next evening Kisame came to Kakuzu’s room with a set of real barbells , which he casually gave to Kakuzu with the admonition not to overdo it. Kakuzu greatly appreciated the gesture (and the unspoken support), and the two have been good friends ever since. But ... a kiss between them would just be too strange, so Kisame comes up with a better option: an arm-wrestling match, Kisame grabs the kitchen table and two chairs and sets them up under the mistletoe. Of course the rest of the Akatsuki gathers to watch, hooting and hollering and placing bets on who will win. Kisame and Kakuzu are both fairly evenly matched, so that challenge goes on for a while. Finally, with a final grunt of exertion, Kakuzu is able to slam Kisame’s hand into the table. Everyone claps, and Kisame laughs and tells Kakuzu that he’s “one tough son of a bitch”; high compliment coming from a man who was half-shark.

Itachi

Out of all the members of the Akatsuki, Itachi was by far the least problematic of the younger ones. Quiet, thoughtful, quick and efficient in completing missions. And polite; always forthcoming with “please” and “thank you”, and never failing to use honorifics with the others, even though some of them (ie Deidara and Hidan) don’t show him that same respect back. One time Kakuzu had caught a cold that stubbornly hung on for several days. Itachi came to his room every day with a cup of congestion-easing tea, something that Kakuzu didn’t ask for, but greatly appreciated nonetheless. Itachi comes up to him and nods. “Kakuzu-san.” “Itachi-san.” Itachi leans up and gives him a light kiss to the cheek, and Kakuzu is struck by a particular urge — to hug this kid. Something about him, perhaps everything about him, seems like a cry for parental love and affection. Kakuzu resists this odd impulse, but Itachi seems to sense that it’s something he wanted, because he leans over again and very briefly puts his arms around the older man. “Thank you,” he murmurs, before walking away. Kakuzu watches him go, slightly shaking his head.

Tobi

Tobi gives Kakuzu an uneasy feeling deep within his heart(s). Running around, speaking loudly, eating nothing but candy and sweets, acting like a complete fool — it’s an act. Kakuzu has never been more convinced of anything in his life. The only question is, why is Tobi putting on this act? To deceive them all into a false sense of security, before striking? Kakuzu has hunted bounties a good deal of his life, and a lot of the more difficult ones to catch have acted EXACTLY the way Tobi does, in order to throw off potential bounty hunters. Kakuzu learned to see through them, the same way he sees through Tobi. But to tip one’s hand and give away what you know is unthinkable in the chase and capture game, so Kakuzu never lets on what he actually believes. “Oh boy Kakuzu-san; does Tobi get a kissy now?!” Kakuzu nods, and Tobi slides his mask halfway off (Kakuzu notes the lines on the side of his face; accident, most likely. Possibly a disfiguring one) and the strange glint of his eye. Before Tobi can act, Kakuzu puts a hand on his face and kisses his forehead. “There. Now go.” Tobi slides the mask back on and hurries away with his usual chatter and giggling, and Kakuzu reminds himself to loom through the bingo book later for bounties with visible scarring on the left side of the face.

Zetsu

Five hearts means more blood needed to sustain said hearts. More blood means a stronger scent. A stronger scent means ... Kakuzu smells delicious to someone like Zetsu. Zetsu approaches him and looks around quickly; the two are alone. His brain runs through every possible scenario in which he could successfully kill and eat Kakuzu. He’s victorious in a few ... but most end with him mutilated by the man’s tentacles, and having to face the wrath of Pein on top of everything else. So he simply sighs, flicks out his tongue to taste the saltiness of Kakuzu’s cheek, and walks away again. Just that one taste was almost enough to make zetsu throw restraint to the wind and eat his fill, so he leaves before he can do anything he’ll regret. Kakuzu wipes off his cheek in mild disgust ... in a group full of freaks, Zetsu certainly seemed to take the cake.

Deidara

Kakuzu still remembers the day they brought this kid into the group. And that’s exactly what he was; a kid. Barely 15 years old, with a powerful “gift”, and full of anger at a village he felt betrayed him in not trying to understand his unique sense of ‘art’. Fast forward several years later and Deidara had changed, and most of that change was the better. Kakuzu could only surmise that the kid matured due to the constant council and guidance of his older and wiser partner Sasori; Kakuzu feels mildly jealous that Sasori was able to reign some measure of improvement over HIS young partner, but Kakuzu couldn’t do a thing with Hidan. Still, though, even Sasori hadn’t been able to completely tame the kid, as evidenced by Deidara managing to get BOTH arms blown off in a tussle with some Konoha nin. Kakuzu had been tasked with sewing his new arms back on, but to the kids credit, despite his painful the procedure had been, he didn’t utter a sound. Had even thanked Kakuzu, twice, afterwards. Deidara walks up to him and looks almost shy; 19 years old now and still with the face of a child. Kakuzu leans down and kisses the kid’s forehead, again noting his soft and smooth — and LONG — his hair was. It sways as Deidara walks away, and Kakuzu wonders how much he could get for those luscious locks, from the right buyer.

Sasori

Respect. Out of all the words that Kakuzu could use to describe how he felt about Sasori, Respect was at the top of the list. And the funny thing was, Kakuzu hadn’t even met the REAL Sasori until almost a year of being in the Akatsuki. The two had been sent on a mission, and at night, near the campfire, a soft metal sound made Kakuzu turn his head. It was a small, slender redhead, emerging from the being that Kakuzu had THOUGHT was a real person. The two had looked at each other for a while, and then started a game of cards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As time went on, the two became closer. They both shared an interest in/knowledge of medical jutsu and procedures, and would often come to one another with questions or with articles on different medicines. Kakuzu nods at him as he walks up, and Sasori does the same. He thinks about it, bends down and kisses Sasori’s left cheek, and Sasori smiles at him, bidding him a quiet Good Evening before going back to his room.

Hidan

“Hey old fuck; you’ve been dying to get your hands on my sexy body all day, haven’t ya, pervert?” Kakuzu would roll his eyes at Hidan’s comment, but at this point, he’s ridiculously used to the things his partner says and does. As he looks at Hidan’s face, he wonders, and not for the first time, whether this is a punishment of sorts. Gaining five hearts and creating a kind of immortality only came for Kakuzu at the end of a long and bloody road, one paved with the unwilling sacrifices of other people. Was it Fate, that the Gods had put THIS man, this loud, overbearing, foul-mouthed heathen, into his path? And as the one person who just might be immortal, too? Hidan often joked about “When all these other assholes bite the big one, me and you might as well get married, bastard.” But what in the world was he saying? Surely he was joking; why would someone as young and attractive as Hidan want to be with Kakuzu? Kakuzu who was heaven knows how many times Hidan’s age, and — “So we gonna slobber each other or what?” “You’ve got a big mouth, brat. Learn to shut up once in a while.” “MAKE me shut up, fuck-face.” So Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist, tilts him back, and sinks into his lips. Kakuzu’s mouth is rough and scarred but Hidan’s is smooth and soft, and the contrast creates a dizzying effect for both men. Hidan grasps Kakuzu’s shoulders tighter, leaving slight nail-prints in Kakuzu’s flesh. Their lips are touching but in this moment it feels like everything is touching, even their very souls (if either of them still had one, that is). When Kakuzu finally breaks the kiss and pulls Hidan back up, the white-haired immortal seems fairly disorientated ... but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You’re an even bigger pervert than I thought, old fuck. Who the hell said you could stick your tongue in my mouth?? And why —” Kakuzu suddenly reaches out and grabs Hidan’s face with both hands, this time pulling him forward into a very soft, closed-mouth kiss. “Better?” Instead of a smartass answer, Hidan simply nods; and now he’s smiling as he walks away. If he were to turn around at any point, he’d surely gasp; because Kakuzu’s smile was even bigger than Hidan’s own. “Stupid kid,” Kakuzu mutters to himself, still smiling as he makes his way back to his room.

#the akatsuki #under the mistletoe #kissing #kakuzu #hidan #konan #pein #tobi #deidara #sasori #kisame #itachi uchiha #zetsu

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