#in fairness i've got no clue what my friends do for work either

[celestie0]

what kind of things do you do at a research lab? sounds like it kinda pays good. also, how was that presentation you had to give a few days ago? 🤔

hiii bb thanks for askingg the presentation went okay it was pretty brief lol i just had to present for something my PI has been researching haha it only took like fifteen minutes

OUU my job is so boring but yes i will indeed yap about it. yeah so i think my day to day varies a lot but i'm a research assistant n help out the doctorates/post doctorates with prepping things for their research so it's like. grunt work LOL but yeah stuff like purifying proteins (i purify a lot of fruit fly proteins since that's the model organism the biochem phd students i work with use) it's just a lot of pipetting and chromatography to make a bunch of little samples that the grad students can use to run their experiments!! some other stuff i do often is do plasmid transformation with agar plates, usually for the botany grad student i work w since he's researching transgenic plants for sustainable agriculture (his research is my faveee it's srs so interesting n he has like a whole walk-in plant chamber at work it's so cute lol) but anyway most of making agar plates is just......suspending n then centrifuging n then suspending n centrifuging SFKJSHL it's boring. yeah n then making buffer solutions, restocking other equipment n calibrating machines, all that stuff

that's kinda 50% of what i do where i'm on my feet, but the rest of it i'm just at my desk n helping my PI w proofreading his research notes bc he doesn't know english very well so i help him out w that even tho technically it's not part of my actual job LOL but it helps me get more hours in at least bc otherwise i'd be working very less. i only have two other coworkers w the same role as me so we try to split up work so my PI doesn't realize it's a one person job n fires two of us but sometimes there isn't much work to split hahah or one of us just accidentally does too much n then the next time i go in im like...there's nothing to do SDJKFHSDK it's kind of case by case cuz the grad students are really bad at telling us what they want us to do ahead of time lol. but still all in all it's pretty cool n def more chill than the hospital jobs i've worked haha

pay is a bit better than most part time jobs for sure, i get $24/hr (idc ab wage transparency hahah) and i work around 25 hrs a week. i used to work a different job after i graduated from july-december of last year that was full time but it was tooooo far from home i had zero work life balance so i just switched to this one n yea it's less hours but that's ok, tbh i kinda wanted a bit of a break before i go back to school and the lighter schedule has been nice. i think it's really helped w my post grad burnout sfkshdkfjd

HOPE THIS DIDN'T BORE YOU TO DEATH IT'S JUST NO ONE'S EVER ASKED ME THIS QUESTION BEFORE NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS LOL SO I GOT CARRIED AWAY thanks for ur ask bb<333

#in fairness i've got no clue what my friends do for work either #like i know what they do #but i don't KNOW what they do #yknow #joemama-s #asks

[madam-melon-meow]

The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative; a homestuck fanfic. Chapter 28, an excerpt.

Sollux reached under the table and pulled out the mic he brought for announcements, and the backup mic in case the first one ran out of battery. He set them on the table in front of his laptop. "You guys wanna do this now?" He asked.

Gamzee reached for the mic, chuckling. "For sure, my brother."

"Hold up." Dave raised his hands. "How do I know you're not about to fucking cheat again with all your extra shapeshifting bullshit?"

"Aww, c'mon my ninja, you're not still all broke the fuck up over that shit, are you?" Gamzee said smugly. "I'm just using the gifts God done gave me."

"Fuck you, man, it's a rap battle, not a whole goddamn cinematic instrumental and Foley orchestra- just cause you can make a airhorn sound out of your ass after rhyming 'cool' with 'tool' doesn't make that shit a good bar. Fucking disrespectful to the art form." Dave crossed his arms, a stank expression on his face.

"Ease up, big D, shit's no different than dropping the mic- it's about the motherfucking performance- getting the fucking crowd going." Gamzee didn't seem to have a clue how invested his opponent was in this argument.

"Alright, alright, how 'bout I start making it rain Jacksons into the audience, would that be cool? Just the performance, big G. Just flexing the fortune I've been given." Dave kissed his fingers and pointed up.

"Shit, dog, that kinda sounds like motherfucking bribery, that money ain't part of you." Gamzee pursed his lips and shook his head.

"Would, uhm. We? Be the audience?" Tavros asked quietly. "Cause, uh, I think that might be fair play. If so."

Gamzee turned around, utter betrayal across his face.

"T, you're gonna motherfucking backstab me?" Gamzee asked.

"Sorry, Uh. I was just thinking, like- booster packs aren't free." Tavros admitted shamelessly.

"Hey wait a second-" Now John spoke up. "If the people here- your friends- are going to be the audience, wouldn't pretty much all of them favor Gamzee anyway?"

"Yeah wait a fucking second- are you trying to fucking play me?" Dave asked Gamzee, gesturing towards the mics.

"Holy fucking shit- I'm not gonna sit here all night while you four bitch about your rules." Sollux snapped. He pointed at John and Tavros. "You two- you'll be the ones in the battle. The better rapper will be the better teacher- so start training them- you've got 20. Nobody will favor either of them cause pretty much nobody knows either of them." He said with absolute authority.

"What?" John yelped.

"Uh, I agree with John. What?" Tavros's wings buzzed anxiously.

Dave and Gamzee looked at each other, competition burning in their eyes.

"My boy John can douse yours on any day of the fucking week." Dave said.

"Haha you don't even know what kinda shit they got going on in the Fae, gonna turn this motherfucking dance floor into a gallows." Gamzee said. "C'mon, T."

Gamzee grabbed Tavros's arm and dragged him off. Dave did likewise with John.

Ready to experience the rap battle of your dreams? Read on here to see what our heroes of breath have to say!

#dave strider #john egbert #pepsicola #johndave #tavros nitram #gamzee makara #pb&j #gamtav #homestuck #hom3stuck #the good the bad and the alternative

[voidcat-senket]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul and @subdee!! <3 <3 <3 who are both v lovely go like. look at their blogs. anyway

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

.161

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

520,484 - 27% of that is one fic looool

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just HxH and SW:Fallen Order series. Sherlock and Star Trek AOS were big ones too

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Closing the Space (Between Us) - again its 27% of my wordcount! It deserves it! the Hunter x Hunter Killugon Reunion fic of my dreams. I am SO PROUD of this one I have handed it to irl friends! On purpose! My partner got me a physical copy for Xmas 2021!

2. Crying Over Yuuri - a Kyou Kara Maou! fic, which is a fandom I am amazed is still being read. It's a Wolfram POV fic where he, you got it, cries over Yuuri. Pretty fluffy ending. I credit the numbers to the fact that not a lot of fic gets written for KKM anymore so it doesn't disappear under all the new stuff

3. Not Unusual - A ST:AO3 Academy Era McKirk. Bones gets a bunch of clues to something going on with Jim... he gets it a little wrong, Jim freaks out because this man has Issues, but it resolves in the end. I wrote this one as a pinch-hit for an exchange back when I was still RPing Jim Kirk @thewinningscenario

4. 5+1: Are They Or Aren't They? - Somehow my Mystrade (Sherlock BBC) still gets hits with fair regularity and I'll never understand why. It's definitely not my best work but it's cute! 5 times people weren't sure if Mycroft and Lestrade are dating, and the time they know (because they receive a wedding invitation!!)

5. One Flew East, One Flew West - a Killugon Modern AU in which Killua and Gon meet at a Psychiatric Recovery Center, with Kurapika as another patient and Leorio as a therapist. written for HxHBB2020. I'm very fond of this one. It makes me cry <3 I'm so happy there's so much fandom diversity in these! (The next 11 are all either HxH or Sherlock, l o l )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I wish I could say I did! I mean to! Sometimes I am not in a good place so I mean to do it later and then I forget..... whoof. I am so thankful for each and every review, and I want to repay that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote a LOT of fics in my teens where people died (not all of them are on A03, it didn't exist at the time. I'm not giving you my ff.net ;) ) Surely, one of them! More recently, I wrote a Dragon Age: Inquisition Lavellan/Dorian in response to Dorian preemptively breaking up with me (rude!) that is Pretty Hecking Angsty. It's tagged "hurt no comfort"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Closing the Space (Between Us) did so much work to get where it was, and they ended up with Everything! My boys <3 (And Alluka)

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Very rarely! I'm pretty lucky in life that I don't get hate generally. Maybe it's because I'm not Out There enough but- who cares! People are nice and sweet and lovely mostly, and I love writing fanfic for/with them :3

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes it will appear in other fics. I don't really do PWPs, and smut itself is pretty rare because I don't include it unless it's... necessary? Kinda? Like if the story demands it. I personally only read smut in certain moods, so when smut's included I make it easy to skip, but it certainly exists

10. Do you write crossovers?

It depends! In my Sherlock days I had a Sherlock/Stargate Atlantis crossover series and a Sherlock in the HP universe series, but I haven't done any recently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I heard people copy fics over to Wattpad sometimes but I've never looked. I'm not usually in MegaFandoms anyway, so I don't think I'm in any real danger.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES!! A few different Sherlock ones! (I guess I was pretty well known in the Mystrade sphere?? IDK that was back on livejournal. Anyone else miss KinkMemes?) I think one got translated to Russian and one to Chinese. Both reached out to me and asked for permission first, which I of course granted! It's very flattering <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Way way way back in my teen years I cowrote a few times- one in YuGiOh and one in Fruits Basket with a high school friend. Recently I am technically cowriting a fic with @spyscrapper atm- I say technically because its really an rp l o l (Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Canon Divergent Spyscrapper, it's pretty hecking cool! And painful! :D ) I once cowrote a fic where the other author just like. eliminated my plotline. so. It's not always good, but it's still fun to try!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I refuse to pick One. Killugon (HxH), McShep (Stargate Atlantis), Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon & X/1999) and any combination of McSpirk (Star Trek) have probably had the most long-lasting impact on me. And

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I often feel like I should finish Pulling The Trigger because it's an interesting casefic and I like the thought of a mystery, but... it's 12 years old at this point, so...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Nature-themed metaphors and descriptions! And I feel like I have pretty strong character points of view! Oh, and angst. I'm good at angst. >:)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Planning 🙃 oops what's that. And I use adverbs too much! (but it's fun so I'll keep doing it)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It depends why! If a fic is from the POV of Character A and Character B is talking in a language they don't understand, for example, it's fine to use it (though please provide a translation for your reader!) The language switch has to be for a specific reason, and if the character understands it the reader should too. (In One Flew, Gon and Killua sometimes swap to Japanese to disguise their conversations from everyone else- I show that by changing their conversation to italics in most cases.) I definitely wrote a fic as a teen that had all Japanese because I was a weeb and... lol don't do that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Yugioh, 2001!! It was probably two paragraphs long hahaha

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Closing the Space (Between Us) for sure! God it's so good. I am begging people to read it. If you're going to read One Thing I have written in my entire life-so-far, please let it be that!!

"Tag 20 people:" that seems like a lot hahaha uuhh @spyscrapper @avtorsola @mmuffncakes @nightingalesighs @etoiline @iwishtocountthestars @unicorncoalition @shalnarkonice @missinkylace @thefledglingdm 10 is a reasonable number. but tbh if you wanna do it, do it, I wanna read ur response!

#ao3 meme #memes #fanfic #i made dis #ask meme

[planeoftheeclectic]

Oh boy, this is about to be a blast from the past. Thanks @skarabrae-stone for the tag!

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

So I only recently started writing again, meaning I've only got 2 works that are from the last decade, but honestly I'm still very fond of those older ones; they do an excellent job at being what they are.

Doing the no pressure tags above the cut because I don't know if that messes them up: @stonemaskedtaliesin, @zyrafowe-sny, and @firecoloredwater, plus anyone else who sees this and has written something! Hyping yourself up is good practice!

Columbo: Turnabout's Fair Play | 19k (Incomplete) | T | Columbo x Ace Attorney set between AA3 and AA4

Summary:

Technically speaking, Mr. Wright, this isn't my usual beat. But Detective Gumshoe - you know Dick, right? - I owed him a favor, see? And it had been a slow week, so I figured I'd look around, see if I could give the guy a hand. Real stand-up guy, he is, we could use more like him. And anyway, I know you're a real busy guy Mr. Wright, so I'll make this real quick, get out of your hair. I know you and he were real good friends, so I'm sure this is a difficult time for you. Oh, uh, just one more thing Mr. Wright. Why were the two of you such good friends again?

As I say in the dedication, this is the idea that helped me break a very, very long dry spell, so it has to take the top spot for that if nothing else. @stonemaskedtaliesin had introduced me to Ace Attorney, I had introduced them to Columbo, and at some point they went looking to see if there were any crossovers and were disappointed to find none. They come tell me this in discord and I, like a fool, say:

"Well, actually, it makes sense there aren't any. I mean, they're kind of contradictory worldviews. The whole point of Columbo is that he always gets the right guy, and the whole point of Ace Attorney is that the police never get the right guy."

Fortunately for all of us, I continued:

"I mean, for it to even work you'd need some kind of convoluted setup - maybe that would stop the AA police from just arresting someone immediately. And who would be the killer anyway? Well, ok, there's an option there, but who should they murder? Maya? That'd be mean, but that's the obvious choice. Hmm...nobody likes him, I could murder him, but how--oh."

And at that point I stopped talking because the end of this story materialized in my brain and I wanted to make sure it was a surprise. Spoiler culture may be overblown, but murder mysteries are an exception, I feel.

Anyways, if you're a fan of either series, enjoy gen fic, like seeing characters get what they deserve, or just want to see Columbo at an anime convention, this is the fic for you! From a writing standpoint, it's been really fun to experiment with a very limited POV, to try to mimic the feel of a television camera. And of course, Columbo's dialogue is a joy to write. (As you'll see later, dialogue is one of my strengths)

Song of the Peregrine [Podfic] | OG fic is 39k (Incomplete) | T | Chrom/F!Robin but honestly it's mostly gen | Kid Icarus Uprising x Fire Emblem Awakening

Summary:

There were reports of something in the skies of eastern Ylisse. Something with wings as black as pitch and eyes as red as rubies. Dark Pit has no clue where he's managed to land himself, but it turns out that Pit and Palutena don't have a monopoly on annoying. He can leave these humans anytime he wants, and he will. Soon. Any day now. If the Shepherds have it their way, that day won't come any time soon. (In which Dark Pit ends up joining the Shepherds, and the world tilts.)

The original fic is @stonemaskedtaliesin's, but I like to consider myself its honorary godparent. We've spent a lot of time worldbuilding for it, and it's so good you guys. It's going to be amazing. There are long term plans.

I started the podfic because I wanted to listen to it as I fell asleep. The audio quality is definitely shakier in the first couple chapters as I figure things out, but it's been really fun learning new skills and doing lots of fun silly voices.

...still need to finish editing chapter 5.

Anyway, blanket recommendation to go read this if you know anything about Kid Icarus (Fire Emblem is a bonus but not necessary, iit's pretty well-explained in-story) and if you like podfic, hey! You're in luck! Fun fact: this is the only Awakening podfic as of right now. Yes I'm also surprised. Maybe if I ever finish this one I'll set out to try and change that. goat milk and oats Grima would be so much fun to voice.

Warrior Cats Smoofs | 8.5k | G | Gen | Warrior Cats

Okay I'm kind of cheating here but that's going to be a theme for these last few answers. I wrote these over a decade ago with my best friend at the time. She had internet, I didn't, so we had a joint account on the Warrior Cats Wiki and the Warriors Fanfiction Wiki, which are both Fandom now I believe. I archived them to AO3 because of that, and because even years later they would occasionally get a new comment from someone who really enjoyed reading them. And, as I said, I'm still very fond of them. My handle on most of the internet still comes from these stories and that account. They are simple, silly, dialogue and stage directions only parodies, and they were a blast to write. I still remember the melody we came up with for the ending jingle. I'm pretty sure these guys (plus the playwriting class I took) are a big part of why I tend to be very dialogue-heavy. I like fun purple-prosy descriptions, but sometimes a few spoken words can convey a whole lot of actions. Show Don't Tell taken to the extreme, I guess.

I'm pretty sure The Library was our most popular one back in the day (to the point we made a sequel)! The Auction was the first (though doesn't hold up quite as well...lol they're all 15 years old anyway). I'm very fond of Christmas Caroling because all the lyrics are singable and that is my PET PEEVE IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT THE METER HAD BETTER BE RIGHT OR AT LEAST CLOSER THAN A CATHOLIC HYMN. Most of all though, I'm fond of all the memories these have. I don't know where Moss is now, but I hope they're doing well. It is also fun to see where I've come from over the years - like I said, upon reflection it makes sense that I tend to default to pretty dialogue-heavy.

The Palutena Trap | 4.7k (Incomplete) | T | Gen (past Palutena/Medusa | Kid Icarus Uprising

Summary:

Kid Icarus meets the Parent Trap.

That's it, that's all I've got.

Ok now this one is cheating because it's not published anywhere yet except in snippets on tumblr. This was actually conceived at almost the same time as Turnabout's Fair Play, but I'm trying to only focus at one at a time, so this one won't properly see the light of day until TFP is finished. (We're getting there! We're almost at the end of Act 2 out of 3!!) That does mean that I'm going about writing it in a very different way - there's going to be lots and lots of editing once I finally set down to publish this. Which is probably for the best - I'm sure there are bits of tfp that would be better if I wrote the whole thing and then went back to edit.

My favorite part of this story is still the normal-people jobs I've given everyone, since this is technically a modern AU. We have an investigative journalist who lives on a yacht, mob boss, butler who's retired MI6, and front woman for a punk band which is actually a front for an eco-terrorist group, for example. I talk more about this story here and here. Aside from that, my favorite thing is exploring the relationship between Dark Pit and Lady Palutena, and between Lady Palutena and Medusa.

The former gets off on the worst possible foot in canon, and it's only ever obliquely addressed, so it's a lot of fun to play with and extrapolate from. In this version, Dark Pit is a child whose mother gave up everything to do with him (and said some pretty nasty things in the court record). So that's where we stand: how do you reckon with that? What does it mean that you still want some kind of relationship, or at least answers? What is family and blood, in the end?

The latter relationship is one that's...well, I wouldn't say it's canon, but it's definitely canon-compliant. It's rather like Narumitsu, in that I look at it and go "hm. whatever is going on between those two, they're not normal about each other." This is true in canon, and if anything it's less true in The Palutena Trap, since despite the name the story is not about getting the parents back together so much as reconciling a mother and son. But the more this idea ferments in my brain the more I want to have some kind of meeting at the end. Maybe it goes badly, maybe it goes less badly, but I have this mental image in my head: Imagine the messiest divorce you've ever seen. Ugly, dragged through the papers, all kinds of legal issues, you part ways never to speak again. You hate her guts, and you can't go a month without thinking about her because she's always got Yet Another Stupid News Article coming out. You find out your kids have been playing some switcheroo on you, and when you meet her again you're coldly civil, both of you clearly holding yourselves back from starting a slugfest in the local forum, and then you see: she's still wearing your wedding ring. The one you picked out, the one you put on her finger 14 years ago. I just. IDK they're not normal about each other and the complexity and ambiguity of it compels me.

Vaguely Remembered 2nd Grade Writing Assignment | like 2 pages maybe | G | Gen | The Land Before Time

Alright this one's definitely cheating but this has already been a lot of reminiscing about the past, so here's a toast to the very first thing I ever wrote: an adventure story starring the main cast of The Land Before Time. All I remember about it is it absolutely sucked to get started but once I did it was longer than it needed to be and I used the word Petrie-ball™. Yes, including the ™. The Petrie-ball™ was how they solved the big obstacle, I think. Like I said, I don't remember much of it, but I remember how proud and happy I felt when it was done. So here's to you, long-forgotten fanfiction adventure story. Here's to the first of many, with many more to follow after.

(Also, if you want to see more of TFP, Palutena Trap, or Peregrine Podfic, you can bother me in a few hours for WIP Wednesday! If you want more OG Peregrine you have to bother @stonemaskedtaliesin instead. Actually, make sure you do that, I know they've got chapter 8 waiting in the wings and I NEED to see how that scene with Pip and Lissa plays out)

#If you made it to the end I love you WOW I wrote a lot for only having two fics posted in the last 10 years #but this was a lot of fun #very nostalgic #writing #WIP Wednesdays #<- the tag I use so you can bother me #other tags: #tfp #palutena trap #song of the peregrine #my writing

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Originally posted on 1/22/2024

Summary:

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

hibitchcus flower just slid into the server.

hibitchcus flower just changed their nickname to TIM TAM TOM

Turbo nerd as in the movie joined the party.

TIM TAM TOM just changed Turbo nerd as in the movie's nickname to sash (❁´◡`❁)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Acceptable only because of the kaomoji

Good to see you, Blackwood, Martin

TIM TAM TOM: ugh god marto please tell me you just made that account 5 minutes ago

Blackwood, Martin: I'm sorry I've literally never heard of Discord!!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Give him a break he probably thought it was an official work thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): Directly affiliated with the Magnus Institute, London

TIM TAM TOM: please sash no jon references this early in the morning

Blackwood, Martin: It's 11:30?

TIM TAM TOM: if it's the AM it's too early in the morning

sash (❁´◡`❁): You voluntarily wake up at six, don't act like you're one of us

Blackwood, Martin: You're a morning person?

sash (❁´◡`❁): He goes to bed no later than 10 pm except for on special occasions

TIM TAM TOM: why would you call me out like this

TIM TAM TOM: im wounded

Blackwood, Martin: You should be

sash (❁´◡`❁): You should be

TIM TAM TOM: youre ganging up on me already i see how it is

TIM TAM TOM: also your name is giving me hives

TIM TAM TOM just changed Blackwood, Martin's nickname to MARTY PARTY

MARTY PARTY: Now I'm getting hives

sash (❁´◡`❁): You can change it in the top left corner

MARTY PARTY: Thank you!!

MARTY PARTY just changed their nickname to mahtin

mahtin: There, more acceptable

TIM TAM TOM: what did i JUST say about jon references

mahtin: You don't pronounce the 'r' in my name either? Nobody does? This is London?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but jon is the most intense about it

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN YOU FORMATTED THIS INCORRECTLY!! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN THE STANDARD WAY THAT WE FORMAT THINGS HERE HAS TWELVE-POINT FONT, NOT ELEVEN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN I DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVENT DONE A REPORT LIKE THIS SINCE YOUR MASTER'S THAT YOU GOT TEN YEARS AGO! I'M GOING TO BE A BITCH ABOUT IT ANYWAY!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN!

mahtin: I mean, to be fair, I truly haven't got a clue on how to do half these reports and follow-ups

mahtin: It's been too long since I've done anything outside of, you know, Library Things

mahtin: I don't blame him for being frustrated sometimes

TIM TAM TOM: once you get used to it its not hard at all

TIM TAM TOM: esp since you did it in uni all u gotta do is dust off them memoreez

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon is unecessarily dramatic and mean about it though

TIM TAM TOM: ^^

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's like that with most things, though, so it's fine

sash (❁´◡`❁): He doesn't mean anything personal by it

TIM TAM TOM: we only bully him a little bit for it

mahtin: ah

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... 'ah?'

TIM TAM TOM: ??

mahtin: I see

mahtin: I may owe him an apology?

sash (❁´◡`❁): You what

TIM TAM TOM: im torn

TIM TAM TOM: on the one hand hell yeah lets go marto my man

TIM TAM TOM: on the other hand jon? is he okay? did you actually hurt his feelings ? the only reason hes not in the discord is bc hes fucking insufferable rn and also bc electronics dont like him-

mahtin: I could tell you what I did? To make you not torn?

TIM TAM TOM: no

mahtin: Well I'm going to say it anyway to determine if an apology is in order

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yes go ahead don't let Tim convince you otherwise

mahtin: Well

mahtin: I may have started a bit of a fight with him?

mahtin: Might have implied that he didn't pay attention in Uni?

mahtin: I was completely pulling it out of my arse but I was tired of being corrected on a bunch of little things like I'm SORRY it's been over TEN YEARS since I did ANY education

mahtin: So I dug in my heels on some inane little thing and now it's kind of. On sight

mahtin: This has been going on for a few days now? I'm surprised nobody picked up on it honestly

mahtin: I mean who has an argument about spiders? Even most arachnophobes agree that the jumping ones are cute! They're small and fuzzy what's not to love!

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

TIM TAM TOM: if sash says dont bring something up w someone it means she hacked into somewhere she shouldnt and saw things nobody wanted her to see

TIM TAM TOM: she does that with everyone btw

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's easier to just look at the 'phobia' part than dance around like "hey, most people at the Fear Research Institute are absolutely fucking terrified of something, which club are you in? what should I not talk about with you?"

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's EFFICIENT and not personal information in the FEAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE it's basically an icebreaker question in Artifact Storage

sash (❁´◡`❁): For example

sash (❁´◡`❁): No clowns or mannequins with Tim

TIM TAM TOM: or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): I'm fine with pretty much anything in all honesty but I'll let you know if that changes

mahtin: Does my file say anything? I don't remember what I said my fear was

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yours was something existential like 'loneliness' or something like that

sash (❁´◡`❁): I don't tend to get that deep with my coworkers so if it's not going to come up in conversation I don't put in as much effort to remember it

mahtin: ... Interesting

mahtin: I don't remember what I said my fear was but I'm fairly certain it was something concrete

mahtin: Might've been snakes? I used to be scared of snakes for a while

mahtin: Then I got a part time job at a pet store for some extra money and their snakes were cool so no more of that

mahtin: But I was only asked the fear question once? During my interview?

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... Weird

TIM TAM TOM: ... indeed

#tma #tma fic #my writing #the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat #the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat fic

[ntrider]

I've told this story before but

when I was 13-14 I decided that I was going to play Tomodachi Collection (Tomodachi Life's NDS predecessor that was only fantranslated to English) with people from my school. So for a week I just took my DS there and asked everyone to make Miis of themselves and I'd update them on how it went. No one was really interested but they still went with it.

Still, I played it for quite a while. Even during vacation that year to the next I was still playing. If you don't know, the Tomodachi duology are games where you make Miis live in an island together and you just do stuff for them. Give them clothes, feed them, sometimes they'll ask for help with something or play something together or talk to each other etc. It's a small-scale social simulator.

I had a classmate that was in my school for a year and then left. She was nice. We didn't talk that much because I'm a bit closed off in groups but I thought she was nice to talk to. If you know me you know this is basically me saying I was in love with her but oh well.

Without my input, our Miis started dating. Hooray! This supports some kind of hope of mine that I will magically date her someday even though I have no clue if I'll ever even see her again because she doesn't have social media or a phone number or literally any contact info at all. But still, nice! Her Mii was pretty so I'd pat her on the head a lot.

The island had too few female Miis, so I decided to do something I always thought about in any situation and nobody knew why. What if I was a girl someday? Either through some magical temporary transformation like some anime I watched, or through some kind of multiverse meetup thing where I meet a cooler version of me that happens to be a hot girl also. Anyway. The Mii was just my Mii with longer hair (I did not have my classic Huge Hair at the time) and a different smile, I think.

So for some reason, my Mii and his girlfriend have been fighting a lot over nothing, and helping them make up is difficult. At one point, my Mii just asks me to break up and, though I regret it immediately, I said yes because the fighting was tiring even for me, the omnscient being that controlled the island.

Both Miis were now really sad, but sometime after a classmate of mine, specifically a guy who is so Different around girls that everyone who knew him swears he had a crush on every woman who's ever directed a word to him, started dating my ex Mii girlfriend. That honestly felt a little insulting to 14 year old Mii. No, that still feels insulting now.

Then sometime after, my Mii and my girl Mii were becoming really close. Then they confessed to each other! What!!! Well, who was I to stop them? Now I was dating myself. Was this because I was so lonely and heartbroken over my difficult relationship before that I felt I was only truly understood by myself? I don't know. Maybe I was just really hot.

Point is, my Mii ex and classmate got married, and then my two Miis got married too. Now it was more of a concrete thing. You even get the credits when someone gets married! It was weird.

But yeah, after I stopped playing, I did meet that girl again, and we talked a lot, and then we were dating flirting kind of thing, and then turns out she was dating a guy already and just didn't tell me so we were both betrayed, and then they kept dating for a while until he broke up with her because he didn't think she was invested in their relationship at all which to be fair I also got that impression, then we just kept being friends and she asked me to date her, and I said yes because well of course I said yes do I look like I'd say no?

Can you guess why we broke up? I wanted to stop because we fought too much. So I did. Now she's been dating this one guy for like years and seems like they work way better than we did. So...

I guess I just have to wait until I meet another me now?

[stargazer-sims]

Victor you find a genie and are granted three wishes, what do you wish for and why?

Thanks for the ask, @dandylion240 !

We'll get Victor to answer this in his own words, becuase his narrative voice is actually one of my favourites among my OCs.

______

Victor: So, I guess the whole 'wishing for infinite wishes' thing probably isn't allowed, right? I think that's what my Uncle Stephen would call a loophole.

This is actually a kind of hard question, because a lot of stuff I might've wished for in the past isn't stuff I'd wish for now. Like, I'm pretty sure if you'd asked me this, even a year ago, I might've wished for my dad and Caroline to be alive. I'm not so sure I'd wish for that now, at least not for Dad. Yeah... part of me is always going to be sad about having to grow up without him, but I think I've finally started to come to terms with everything that happened. If Dad was still here, I think my life might've been drastically different, you know? Julian's been a great support for me, and even though neither of us have ever thought of it as a father-son relationship, I guess it kind of is, and I'm happy he's going to be my official stepfather soon. He's my mom's soulmate, and I mean... how could I wish for something that would keep my mom from being with her soulmate, now that I know what it's like to be with somebody who's literally the other half of your spiritual matched set?

Okay, so I guess my first wish would be for Caroline to still be alive. She was only two when she died. She never got to experience anything much, and it's not fair that she didn't. Plus, I've seen what it's been like for my cousins and friends to grow up with siblings, and I know I would've loved that. I think about Caroline a lot, and I often wonder what she'd be doing now. I wish we'd both had the opportunity to find out.

For my second wish, I'd wish for Yuri to be better. Like, totally cured of his chronic illnesses and everything that goes with that. One of the hardest things for me is to know that he's suffering, even a little bit, and that there's really nothing I can do about it. I don't mind taking care of him, but I wish it wasn't necessary. He's in pain nearly all the time, even though he tries to hide it, and that breaks my heart. All of his medical issues have held him back from doing a lot of stuff that he might otherwise have done, and I feel like he deserves more in life than just a steady cycle of flare-ups and remissions, medication, pain and chronic fatigue. Sure, if he was well, our lives would be a lot different than they are now, but I could live with that. All I want is for him to be happy and not hurting.

The third thing... that's gonna be just for me. I'd wish to have a chance at either an Olympic gold medal or a World Championship gold medal. Like, I felt as if I was so close this year, and then my accident happened, and I'm probably never gonna snowboard again, much less have a shot at anything international. I wanted to make the World Championship so bad, you have no idea. So, I'd wish for that; getting into the Snowboarding World Championship and placing in the top three in at least one of my events.

Honestly, I know all that stuff is impossible. It's interesting to think about, but also kind of depressing because I know it'll never come true. I think I just need to work on figuring out some new goals and working for those. I have no clue what I'm gonna do with my life now, but I'd rather be doing something than just sitting around wishing for stuff.

#sapphire answers #oc ask #victor nelson #stargazersims

[moonlightperseus]

It's completely fine dw about it. I haven't been a person so I took a while too I completely understand.

I find something I like and I stick to it lmao

I also have a friend going down the nursing path and she encourages me fully and is so excited and I love her and also she constantly tells me how every single nurse that knew she was going into nursing told her not to. So. Hopefully that works for you, the change could certainly be good. And it's good you have a backup if you need it. And you can ramble about your personal life I don't mind dw.

That's fine I get that!! Personally I would never read green lantern comics because ew green lantern but that's obviously a personal opinion. I get that. And that's fair!! I haven't read anything really with Donna Troy either aside from some parts in a Wonderwoman comic I never finished.

Hand sanitizer and I aren't as close as we could be due to the Multiple times I've sanitised my hands so I didn't have to fully wash them (I knew I only needed to wash them for mentally ill reasons) and then I proceed to actually just make dust appear all over my hands

I think something really sad happens (I promise that's not a spoiler I genuinely have no clue if it's even those books or even what it is) and that intrigues me because I love pain. But the used book is a large hurdle. I'm glad you're enjoying it!! I've only ever heard good things. And yes! I have seen, multiple times, unfortunately that's ✨American only✨ but thank you

Admittedly I haven't read anymore but that's the whole not a person thing it's not a comment on the comics. And that's fair!! I'm very excited for Kate!!

No that's fair I agree I power through so many comics just for Dinah

It should be grape juice honestly I think that would be more fun

Understandable. They need to love each other all the time constantly no matter what.

I wouldn't spoil it anyway but I can't remember. It's cool that you're having new bonus ideas it's always interesting to see what people think!!

Recently at my work we got a full renovation so we had construction workers in and there was this one guy I called Music Man Jake and he had Tons of batman tattoos (it might've just been 2 I don't remember) but I said "so you like batman?" And he said "yeah, y'know why? Because he can beat superman which means he's the best" and I was like no I don't think that's what that means I think they can both be beaten and said "yeah by who?" And I told him that I'm pretty sure there's like canon instances where Wonderwoman beat both of them and he told me that that was fake and I was lying.

It IS a strange one yeah that's for sure

well i have unfortunately since received incredibly different and more drastic work change news but i have new plans i place to some extent, but ultimately my goal to make it through the holidays (very busy time for my job) has remained. and 2024 will be. very different for me but i’ll get there when i get there. honestly it’s not entirely a bad thing for me personally but it does objectively suck. but putting off thinking about the full extent of all that bc like i said. gotta get thru december. but yeah that’s a little life update for ya.

you’re valid! honestly i probably wouldn’t read green lantern comics if i didn’t have friends who love them just bc they never really. called to me before? but one thing i love is trying media beloved to my friends. and with comics especially it’s been a lot of reading things that are recommended to me because there’s way too much for me to choose on my own.

like i said i met donna in the titans tv series (another questionable comic adaptation that i unfortunately am so attached to 😔) however figuring out what to read for her does feel incredibly confusing bc she’s not like. a big dc player ig? idk we’ll see what i end up doing i have one donna troy special run open on a tab on my phone to try.

SO valid re:hand sanitizer. it’s def more of a temp fix for me when i don’t have access to properly wash my hands until i can actually wash them. which yeah maybe not the best but like. it’s manageable for me which is all that really matters.

i have finished the first raven cycle book and kinda started the second and something really sad happening definitely would fit the vibe so far, i wouldn’t say anything incredibly sad has really happened yet but there’s def the looming constant of something that’s supposed to happen at some point bc of psychic visions and all that. i started on the second book but haven’t really had a chance to read much of it however i’m heading back to my parents tomorrow so i’m gonna listen to more on the drive. i think my only complaint of the series is there’s so much concentrated Teenage Boy (and Teenage Rich Boy too) and it can be a little annoying at times bc like. the two rich boys. they have money. go to therapy. consider alternatives. think things through a little more. but even they are growing on me (one more slow than the other but it’s happening) but really it’s been fun to read so far!

:/// aw it being american only sucks i’m sorry.

again you are so valid (i say that a lot i know ahsjjdsj) re: not being a person & also not having read any more bombshells. life can be a whole lot and boy can it be hard living in it sometimes so i completely understand. and the good thing is bombshells isn’t going anywhere so there’s no rush!

okay ive now finished injustice year 5 & ground zero! i didnt make any notes this time bc i kinda was just powering thru year 5 and then i binged all of ground zero in one sitting. ground zero i just read the other night and was more enjoyable being told through harley's pov however god putting up with joker was very hard im glad harley finally was able to tell him no and also beat the shit out of him. her harley horde was so cute and i loved that for her. also seeing the alternate universe justice league (or as i called them, the REAL justice league) seeing MY diana again <333 and CLARK !! god i missed that ah shucks goofball. and i really loved the ending of harley and ivy going off to the alternate earth to help that version of harley overcome her attachment to the joker <3333 ALSO HARLEY IVY ARE ROMANTIC!!! LOVED THAT!!

in my head i’m picturing that music man jake’s birth name is like. robert or something but music man jake had a better ring so that’s what he is referred to by.

i can’t remember what it’s from (i think it might be the justice league animated show??) but there’s definitely somewhere a bit where bruce is talking about his contingency plans if any of the core JL went rogue and he had these boxes full of said contingencies but he literally like made a point of showing that diana’s box is empty because she has no weakness. and that’s remained permanently burned into my brain ever since. i absolutely believe she is stronger than superman. in some/most(?) continuities she’s literally a demigoddess. clark’s just lucky bc earth’s sun is built different 😭. but yeah she did in fact very much kick clark’s ass in injustice and was only beaten in the fight bc sinestro attacked her from behind once she already had superman on his knees. so yeah. she can definitely beat superman. that’s my no 1 takeaway from injustice year four. (and then REAL diana being able to kick injustice diana’s ass tells me that real diana CAN ALSO kick superman’s ass should the need come) but yeah. i do really love wonder woman akshakbddjs

i have to say i’m a little hesitant to start injustice 2 just bc i *liked* how year five ended and i don’t want it to be undone BUT i wanna see HER (dinah) so i will read it. i’m just debating trying year zero first, any thoughts on if i should wait to do year zero until after injustice 2 or am i fine to read it now?

hope you’re doing at least somewhat well all things considered!!

#comics anon #abby replies #long post / #anon

[deviltoys]

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

hey, kevin here, i apologize that somethin' of this matter is being posted so late like this and so sudden. i won't be typing as i usually do as the accusations here are a serious matter and there won't be a need for my usual, light-hearted typing style.

it has come to my attention, though this information has been kept private for maybe a month, two? but has only just recently been brought to my attention by a good friend of mine. the claims were sent to him over instagram by my ex; kai or huhrizon. the photo will be attached below in which, kai, is laughing about the fact he believes he's found out that i am a minor. more specifically, fifteen. which couldn't be farther from the truth, this thread will be debunking and defending myself before he can come out and express these fabricated lies to try and ruin my reputation because he's upset that i wasn't ready for a relationship.

kai messaging mattia over the fact he believes he has uncovered 'my mother's facebook profile'. which will be debunked below.

very interesting that you decided to not only, try to uncover things about my identity after i politely explained to you that i no longer wanted to pursue a relationship, but that you're brewing up fake rumours just to try to get back at me for it.

onto the main claim. kai has been professing, that i, am infact a fifteen year old falsifying his age online. the reason he believes these claims are that, one, he found my mother's facebook profile. and two, that there was a photo on there of me, with the caption 'happy birthday kevin' posted onto the account. mattia has explained to me that this photo isn't here to be displayed as evidence, solely because kai sent the picture through instagram's vanish mode.

* this mode automatically deletes anything sent after the chat is closed.

mattia informed me that this photo was overall suspicious though as kai had blurred out the user's facebook handle. very odd indeed kai, very odd. i have no clue what this women looked like as there were no further photos, so until then, i don't know how i can debunk the woman not being my mother; appearance wise.

what reason do i have to believe this is motivated out of spite? before kai and i had become acquainted, i followed him through dylan, who had publicity posted about how his friend had created a dark blog. wanting to follow more creators who shared a similar interest, i followed him. immediately, kai had started sending asks about whether or not i was single. we had not talked nor even messages before, we had liked a few of each others posts and that was the max of our interactions. but i responded with a flirty remark, which i am now known for, but wasn't at the time. flirting was thrown back and fourth and after awhile i had realized i was no longer ready, mentally or emotionally for a relationship at that point in time. i still had full feelings for kai, yet kindly expressed my discomfort with a relationship. which he mutually accepted and that was that. i thought we were ended things on great terms, we both communicated and got our messages out of the way.

apparently this was not the case, as kai, without my knowledge goes to search for any sort of dirt he can find on me. which, i will be using a post by dylan to explain why i have reason to be swayed into the fact this was out of anger— i love dylan, and he's not included in these accusations whatsoever, but this post is important to view. do not drag him into this, please. i'm serious.

dylan admits to kai being able to ruin people's lives for fun. which is obviously, not a good look for him. he purposefully goes on the hunt for any information he can attach to someone. unluckily for him, he couldn't find anything worth exposing, so he restorts to making up lies about my age in an attempt to get some sort of revenge? as punishment for breaking his heart i presume. very, very mature after a breakup which i calmly and kindly let you know that i wasn't ready for anything further.

now, onto the rebuttal i have for his big accusation; me being a fifteen year old who's mother's social, kai sniffed up. my mother does not own any form of social media, she has an email which is technically not even a social app. ( this is used for her grad teachers, in order to contact her for reasons that will be explained ).

my mother hasn't had any social app for years, much less posts or takes photos of us to display whatsoever. my mother entered a relationship with a man, who at the time she didn't know was very, very anti-lgbtq.

* before anything else it's important to note that kai, believes i have a brother. i told him this in order to stray away any true information about me, as there are very few people i fully trust with the knowledge of my personal life. much less, someone who i just met at the time; i.e kai. kai had mentioned a friend of either his or his brothers being named 'hank' to try to also fit the lie of having a brother, i told him it was a funny coincidence that my brother had the same name. i do not have a brother, my sister and i are both trans— she being mtf, and i being ftm. she has given me explicit permission to disclose this, as i wouldn't ever dream of letting that information out without her word.

this leads into my main argument. my mother had been with this man for quite awhile, and had finally asked us for permission to give him the news, that we were both transgender and that he should know for the future of our family. he obviously, did not take this well. to keep details minimal for the safety of my family, i'll briefly explain some of the shit he's done to my mother. stalk, threaten, send unsolicited photos and dead animals to our home, try to get my mother to meet up - or find her location to meet up with her, and many, many more vile things. my family has been hiding, moving, and changing our identities ever since. my mother has wanted a healthy, safe environment for her children to grow up in without fear that their lives would be taken or in some way ruined by this man. we can't keep a house for more than a year before we're forced to go into hiding because of a message from him or some sick prank from somebody who knows about the situation. this is all i can say, as i don't want him to somehow get ahold of this post. which is also why i am withholding my families legal names as well as her ex's legal name just to be cautious. though it is never ever justified to lie to your partner, kai and i had barely talked and i felt pressured by the environment and excitement to rush headfirst into a relationship. causing me to hold back any truth to my personal life, excluding interests, stories, and stuff of that sort. which deserves an apology all on it's own.

now, where this fifteen, number came from. not a clue in hell, my sister, is sixteen but was fifteen at the time i was in a relationship with kai. i have no clue if this has anything to do with it, but he knew, as i told him i was celebrating her birthday through text. letting him know, the age she was and the age she was turning.

i live off the grid and always have. my legal name is not on here, my family or friends names, etc. my personality, all me, the stories or hobbies i have? true. my job? true. i express the true me on here while still holding back information that could cause my family into another year of hiding. my mother never has and never will have any socials. she barely uses her email out of fear, but has no choice as it's her only means of communication to her job.

another quick thing i would like to mention, to be truthful, as this is a post solely based on trust alone. as i have no physical evidence to back it up. i sent a photo to kai, letting him know it was taken when i was in middle school. i told him my mother put a filter over it, which is weird right? i just explained how my mother doesn't have socials, he's got to be lying, right? no, my teacher had taken the photo and she had edited on her photo to show our grandma, who she sent the image through phone messages. this was no lie, but it was a misdirection to try to get kai to believe my mother posted about me. i still didn't trust him and never fully did, so this was another. morally wrong, attempt to cover my true identity by lying to him about it. which, again, never right to lie to your partner. but i have a family to protect, it's hard to make friends and relationships online when you have to hide who you truly are your whole life. and i'm sorry that's been the case, though the information my mutuals privately know is all the truth. i've grown to trust a fair few, so thank you.

as a summary, these claims are total bullshit. i can provide more context or answers to any questions you may have, below, through dms, or through my inbox. this was once again posted before he could get his word out, as i wanted to make sure everyone knew what i had to say, in case he decided to 'expose' me while i was at work, or too busy to compile a rebuttal. thank you all for listening, you don't have to believe a word of this. as yes, my story does sound far-fetched but i have no way that i can verify it without putting my family in danger. which, i'd much rather lose my online status over a silly rumour than harm my family for another multitude of years. this is a rather short and rushed post though, as it's been bugging me for awhile and i just need to push it out.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

hey love!! idk if ur matchups are open, if they're not you can skip this, but I'd love one if they are!! I'm half canadian, half korean, bi, my pronouns are she/her, but I'm kinda considering they idk, and im pagan/wiccan (work a deities, tarot cards, spell jars, etc), I'm absolutely enamored with literature, either classics or modern ya, I'm aiming for oxford for university, and streamer and lawyer are my two top career choices. I'm an infj and a taurus sun w a cancer moon, virgo rising, cancer mars, aries mercury, and pisces venus, and I either sleep too much or too little. My favorite colors are green, pink, and brown, and I've just started my squishmallow collection. Singing, writing, reading, and playing video games too much are my top hobbies. I speak english, french, sign language, korean, italian, a bit of Spanish, and a bit of german. I have very eclectic music taste, but wallows, ariana grande, arctic monkeys, gorillaz, lana del ray, and melanie martinez are my favorite artists. I'm decent at cooking but I have a deadly fear of the oven (i make cookies in the microwave rip). My love languages are touch (though I can only do it w people I'm vv close to), teasing (friends and exes have called me a tsundere</3), annotating books and giving them to people, and always checkin in on whether uve eaten/had water/slept. I'm an introvert that acts like an extrovert in public, but I'm actually vv quiet. I live for psychology and I'm also really bad at shutting up about myself (I'm so sorry). I hope this wasnt too much haha, thank u in advance, I hope u have a lovely day!!

For the lovely @smackmyasslikeavolleyball sorry this took so long 🥲

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How Y’all Met

Aoba Johsai was hosting a school fair

And you had offered to do tarot readings as a activity

Oikawa was intrigued by the little tent that got set up

But he was to scared to go alone 🤡

So he dragged iwa to come try it with him

The first thing he noticed was how beautiful you were :)))

The second thing he noticed how passionate you were about your work

It reminded him of how he was with volleyball

You began a card reading for him

And two cards that stood out were

The death card in an upright position

And

The lovers card in an upright position

Now Oikawa had no clue what these cards meant

But when you explained them to him

He took that as a sign to ask you out

So he waited till the end of the fair

And he offered to help you clean up your area

And offered to take you to a late lunch

You both went to a small restaurant nearby

And just talked to each other

Like shit

You guys found out EVERYTHING about each other

You both just found it easy to open up to each other

Since then you both became really close friends

And eventually Oikawa got the guts to ask you out

After a....encouraging...pep talk from Iwa

And you had said yes

Damn the cards never lie ig 😳

(I am so sorry if the card readings were inaccurate, I literally know nothing about tarot cards 💀)

What They Love About You

He loves how caring and attentive you are

Oikawa has a tendency to overwork himself without even realizing it

So your little reminders to take care of himself mean the world to him

Because it just shows him that you genuinely care about him

He loves your love language 👀

Alright this mf is CLINGY

But in a good way you know?????

Like at the end of a hard day mans just wants to go home and cuddle with you

Which will fit hand in hand with your love language

And omg if you tease him

Mf will tease you right back

Y’all can be tsunderes together ❤️

He loves that you have big goals for your future

It’s something you have in common with him :)

And you both are able to push each other to reach those goals

Favorite Things To Do Together

Ok so he really likes to cook with you

And let me make a point of this

He likes to COOK with you

Baking is a no no

You guys baked together ONCE

And not only did you almost burn the house down

But the brownies didn’t even taste good 😡

So you guys just stick to cooking together

Even if it’s just a packet of instant ramen

Mans will sit with you in the kitchen till it’s outta the microwave

Random Hc

Ok so with your psychology knowledge

You tend to call the man out sometimes 👁👄👁

Like it’s SCARY

“Do you think you try so hard because you want to make everyone proud of you? Or is it your god complex trying to prove to everyone that your better?”

Oikawa rn: 🙂🥲

But it’s ok cause if it’s a problem then he’ll work on it

One time you we’re scolding him about not getting enough sleep

Astrology

And all the mf did was point out how bad your sleep schedule is

So you both made a bet on who could fix their sleep schedule

When Taurus and Cancer come together in a love affair, it’s usually a very good combination.

They are two positions apart within the Zodiac, and such Signs tend to share karmic ties and a deep mutual understanding.

These particular two Signs have much in common

Both prize security in a love relationship above almost all else

both tend to be nurturers

Cancer is emotionally nurturing while Taurus loves to spoil their lover with sensual delights, gifts and good, rich meals

They’re both quite domestic and love a quiet night spent at home with their sweetie.

The Taurus-Cancer partnership tends to be a happy one due to this mutual enjoyment of the security and comfort of home.

They love a solid home base, a strong relationship, nice possessions, good food: all the comforts of domestic life.

Theirs is often the ideal family that people of other Signs strive for, with strong ties between them and a relationship that is family-oriented rather than toward the outside world.

Their only major problems arise when Taurus insists on having its own way and Cancer responds by sulking.

Taurus must understand Cancer’s emotional sensitivity, and Cancer needs rely on open, honest communication than on emotional blackmail.

Both Signs are dependable and nurturing, strongly oriented toward domestic life together.

A mutual love of home and security makes theirs an ideal long-term, family relationship.

Overall Aesthetic

Mystical Cryptic

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #Oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Angst write: "I wish you would show me that smile like you do towards everyone else."

Written at 6:46 P.M.

Author's notes: I haven't been feeling myself. Yet, I honestly have no clue what my identity is. Who am I? Can anyone tell me... Who I am?

If only you knew.

Often, you were caught staring off into space. No one would really correct you except him. Granted, it wasn't every time you spaced out that he would catch you. Mostly it pertained to a life and death situation is the case more than half the time. Somehow you were close friends with death and Dazai wanted to know why. Why had death chose you over him? You were just another human being living life. There was nothing in particular special about you.

Out of anger and resentment towards life trying to take you instead of himself, he would save you. Each time you were in a type of danger that could lead to death he made sure to be there. There were times that you would even end up getting hurt enough to be hospitalized. Dazai was there at your bedside but not with a smile. He wore a scowl and a bitter distaste for you. The closest smile you ever got with him was a soft sigh of relief. Which wasn't exactly a smile either.

However, when you saw him around everyone else, he would smile so carelessly. The way his cheeks would turn a dusty pink made your heart ache. Why couldn't he smile at you like that? You dragged your feet to the graveyard to visit someone dear. The only person you had known to smile at you genuinely. When he held you in his arms you felt like nothing in this world could harm you.

He knew every little detail about you. The things you liked, disliked. Your personality and what made you happy, sad, angry, etc. Most importantly he knew who you were. You felt seen and recognized by him. Life was cruel, ripping him away from you in his early days. You still had so much to ask him. So many places you wanted to travel with him. Memories you wished to make with him.

"But he's gone now. Isn't he?"

You turned around quickly with tears in your eyes to see him. Why was he here? Did he sense your life in danger once more? Standing up quickly and brushing off loose dirt from your clothing you shoved past him. Only to be grabbed by the wrist.

"Don't even think about doing what I know you are going to try. It won't reunite you with him."

"Why not?! I hate living anyway. There's no point in waking up to a shitty life that goes nowhere. I'm sick of getting pity smiles or so called acts of kindness from others who just feel sorry for me."

He kept ahold of your wrist and you stood there glaring at him. For the first time he cracked a smile but it was only for a second. He pulled you into a hug before you could catch his mistake.

"Always be happy, no matter what."

Your eyes began to burn with the over flowing sensation of needing to cry. The tears streamed down your cheeks and you gripped tightly onto the fabric of his beige long coat.

"It's not fair that he left me so soon! He didn't get to see grow up.. I worked so hard to get where I am and he's not here to see."

He brought his hand to your head and ran fingers gently through the strands of your hair. The sensation soothed you but the tears kept falling. Having such a deep emotion as sadness for your loss has been pent up for too long. Dazai saw right through it. He knew you were troubled but he refused to pry until you were ready.

"I don't have him to remind me who I am.. I don't know who I am... No one else seems to know either. I'm just another face with a name given to me at birth."

You continued to sob in his embrace for a moment then stopped. Only to have realized you were crying. When was the last time you actually cried so openly? He looked down at you with that same unreadable expression. You hated it so much. Even after being vulnerable with him, he continued to play cold hearted.

"I don't even know why I'm still surprised you won't smile towards me."

He stopped you again when you tried to storm off. And this time you were fed up. You turned to slap him so hard across the cheek that it was deafening to his ears, creating a high pitched ring. His eyes widened feeling the stinging on his cheek. It left a clear red handprint and your gaze didn't soften. You didn't feel bad in the slightest.

What shocked you was when he took you in his arms again. He wasn't really the type to try so hard to comfort someone. Yet somehow you felt antagonized by this. Before you could rip away from his grasp he whispered in your ear.

"People go their entire lives not knowing who they really are. The best way to avoid such a crisis, is to ignore it and do what you like."

And you never thought you would hear something so stupid leave his lips. But somehow it made you feel better. If no one knows who they really are then why should you care? It didn't change the fact that he was gone from your life. There was no point in wallowing in more pity. Nothing good was going to come out of it.

You realized the most terrifying thing in life was to die bitter and depressed. Waking up every morning made you feel exhausted because you were already in the mindset of another dreadful day of living.

"We all die alone. I've realized that after I lost him. You know there's a saying that everyone loves you. But that doesn't mean they like you."

He looked at you and for the first time in awhile, you felt seen. You didn't feel like fading in the background or making up a poor excuse to get away from a fake interaction. This felt real.

"I find it easier to say I like something rather than saying love. It's such an over used word and besides, I consider it a fictional word some idiot made up."

#bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs dazai #osamu dazai #angst writing #angst #dazai x reader #ada dazai #angst drabble #zai writes

[kiatheinsomniac]

Chapter I: A Bright Opportunity

Clad in robes of deep red and gold, she waited in the shadow of the hidden door, peering through the crack of it being ajar, the hidden stone tunnel stretching out behind her. Her slim body was leaned back against the cold wall as she waited for her contact's company to leave the room. Once alone, she stepped silently out of the shadows and into the warm golden light that poured in through the polished windows, kissing the skin of the woman's face as soon as she pushed her hood down from her head and onto her shoulders.

"Your majesty." She addressed formally, kneeling down as she bowed her head towards the floor and placed a hand over her heart.

"Winifred, I take that your presence before me means you have something of importance?" The red-haired queen of England queried, waving off the alerted guards to lower their weapons before gesturing for the other woman to stand.

"Of course." Spoke the assassin, rising from her bow to pluck a letter from her pocket, the red wax seal already broken, she handed it over to her queen, "A plot by the Vatican - and I'm afraid that your cousin Mary may be involved too, Elizabeth."

"Thank you." The queen spoke, sucking down a breath as she thought of the gravity of the situation - yet another burden for the queen's already heavy shoulders, "Though, this only means more work for you, I need you to uncover if Mary truly is involved, I want to know exactly what powers are conspiring against me and my throne."

"I'll get right to it, your majesty."

LOADING ANIMUS DATA...

██████████████]99%

(Y/n) opened her (e/c) orbs, her vision fuzzy from sleep. An irritated groan was pulled from her lips when she reached for her phone, her alarm blaring in her tired ears. It was six in the morning and her usual time to get up for school.

Her dream was quickly fading from her memory, all she could remember was seeing Queen Elizabeth I of England and an old-fashioned letter with a seal. "Proof that I'm passing history, I suppose." She grumbled to herself as she unlocked her phone to check all her social medias before she exited her plush bed. It was full of white fluffy blankets and pillows and shielded her body from the cold air that nipped at anything outside of her blankets. Her light grey walls stood tall around her in her rather plainly decorated bedroom - there wasn't much aside from her wardrobe and organised desk.

She quickly finished up checking all her messages before jumping out of bed and heading to the bathroom to relieve herself, wash her face and to brush her teeth, shivering gently at the cold temperature, all too eager to get back to her room where she could wrap herself in a blanket as she readied herself.

Upon returning to her room, she began dressing for the day of school that lie ahead, sitting on the floor in front of her full-length mirror to style her (h/l) (h/c) hair and do her usual makeup. As she went through her morning routine, she danced around a little to the music that was playing from her phone - mostly her favourite songs by Lana Del Rey with some Billie Eilish and some classics thrown into the playlist.

Once she was done, she headed downstairs to make herself a coffee to drink while she sat at the dining table doing any homework that was due in that week.

She was the only person in the house. The solitude never bothered her ever since she was young - her parents worked a lot and she never had much of a close relationship to them anyway. In fact, relationships weren't something she was accustomed to anyway - her parents' work meant that they moved house a lot so she never really managed to make friends or stay in touch with them either. But, she was perfectly content with her studies and happily sitting at the top of her classes.

She was one of those people that could never get enough - no matter what she did, there had to be more to get done. For every lesson, there would be another three to learn to push herself further. 'Why settle for less when you can be the best?' she would often say to herself whenever she took a little break from studying to browse the internet on her phone.

Once it was time to leave the house, she was pulling on a coat and slinging her bag over her shoulder, drinking down the last of her slowly cooling coffee.

Her walk was just like any other usual day, taking the paths beside the main road while her music accompanied her through the cold early-spring morning. She let out a sigh while her playlist shuffled in her headphones, blasting loudly in her ears. She passed familiar paths and roads, stopping at the same traffic lights. (Y/n) had the option to be driven to school by the family driver but she preferred the twenty minutes of morning air considering she didn't leave the house often enough.

When she arrived in school, she made her way towards the library where she pulled a notebook and textbook out of her bag, going over chemistry topics regarding balancing equations and relative atomic mass. Her music played softly in her ears now, music without vocals that would distract her if present in the song. This was how her day went: get to school and study, attend classes to study, sit studying at break, attend more classes to study, have a small break for a light snack and drink at lunch before studying then attend her final lesson to study. Once she got home, she'd sleep for a while then listen to music/ paint/ read a book before studying until dinner; after dinner, she'd have a bath and take some time to look after herself before going to bed.

(Y/n) could admit that a change in routine was all she longed for but she didn't know anything else. She had no friends to go out with and didn't really have anything interesting going on at all aside from family events. She wanted a change desperately but had no clue where to start - whenever she tried to mix things up, she'd always fall back into the same routine out of habit. When the bell went off, she packed her notebooks neatly away into her navy blue bag and tucked her phone into her pocket.

The approach of yet another repetitive day.

She sat through her first three lessons, her work at top standard and focus sharp as she pressed herself in her studies more and more. Her attention was following the video on the board that was explaining the use of tangent with angles of elevation and depression, noting down little features to keep in mind (all of which she already knew but noted it down nonetheless to show classwork) when a male teacher, who was escorting a female visitor, entered the classroom, making his way across the room to the teacher's desk. The (e/c)-eyed female had seen the grey-haired teacher around the school before and was rather sure he was one of the receptionists. She watched the hushed conversation quickly occur between the receptionist and maths teacher before the man straightened his back.

"(Y/n) Glacier, could you come with me please?" He spoke up, the student opened her mouth slightly, wondering why she had to be taken out of class.

"Do I need my bag?" She quizzed, reaching for the strap of the navy bag that rested by her feet.

"Yes, please," He spoke as he made his way back outside. (Y/n) quickly gathered her things and made her way outside, closing the door quietly behind her. Her (e/c) gaze managed to get a better look at the visitor. She was a woman in her late middle-ages with fair light brown hair and turquoise eyes. She wore a purple blazer and skirt with a white blouse and black heels.

"I'm not in trouble am I?" The student quizzed, she had no idea why she had been taken out and was beginning to grow worried that she might have done something; though, there was nothing that she was able to think of.

"On the contrary, dearie." The visitor spoke up as they walked towards a classroom, that was bare aside from the school's headmaster, where the three of them took a seat. The school's headmaster was a woman nearing being elderly with jet black hair that presented a few grey streaks. On her nose were thick-rimmed glasses and she wore a deep red blazer with a white blouse and a flowing black skirt that reached her ankles. She was a good headmaster and had been running the school for the good part of three decades from what (Y/n) had heard.

"Miss (L/n), this is Miss Pearl Attaway." The headmaster spoke, "She's a member of staff at Vermere Lake Grammar School and she's representing the board there that are searching for students to join seeing as it's a new establishment."

"Ok. . ." (Y/n) began slowly, "I suppose, to begin with, I'd like to ask: why me?" She began picking at a thread on her skirt under the table, finding herself to be rather nervous.

"Your grades are outstanding, (Y/n)." Pearl Attaway began, "We're looking for students with gifted minds like yours, you'd be a wonderful asset to the school."

"Where is this school?" The (s/t)-skinned student quizzed, wanting to know everything about it before she began to make up her mind on attending.

"The French countryside." The visitor replied. (Y/n) opened her mouth to speak but was cut off, "I know what you're thinking and I'm sure that the proposal of a boarding school comes as quite a shock but your parents have been spoken to and they both are in favour of you going and have left the final decision up to you." (Y/n) stopped to think. This choice was going to be far more difficult and impactful than she originally thought.

"I think that I'm going to need more time to make up my mind on this. . . I mean: France? A boarding school? I've never done anything like that before, I've never stayed away from my house unless I'm with family. . ." She looked down at her lap. This could be her chance to really advance in her studies! And the fact that they had sought her out specifically too! Would she be around more like-minded people?

"It's perfectly understandable if you want some time to think this over but I'm afraid that I'll be needing an answer before the end of the month," Pearl replied. That gave (Y/n) three weeks to make her big decision. The (h/c)-haired student turned to her headmaster.

"I know it's a lot to ask for but could I go home? I want to be somewhere where I can have some clear-headedness to think about this and I'd like to talk to my parents too. It's understandable for you to say no." She requested. The older woman tossed the idea around in her head for a moment.

"I'll have to contact your parents but I'm sure they'll allow you to return home." She smiled as she stood up, everyone else in the room following suit. The receptionist began leading Pearl away. However, the woman in purple paused on the threshold of the door.

"We hope that you'll choose to join us, (Y/n)." And with that said, she was around the corner and out of sight.

"If I may add my thoughts on this," The headmaster spoke up as she began leading (y/n) to her office in order to make a phone call to the student's parents, "I believe this is an excellent opportunity for you, I've seen your grades and your class books and I believe that this school cannot provide the facilities and teachings that you need to further your education. This would be perfect for you."

"I know. . ." (Y/n) began thoughtfully, "It's just the boarding school part that's making me hesitate. I've never been away from my family before." It was true that she was used to solitude but she was used to that in her own household, not in the countryside of another country surrounded by other people her age. She was certainly stuck on the fence. . .

The call was made and she was sent home, hence why she was laying on her bed of lightly coloured pillows and blankets, staring up at her white ceiling.

"This could be the change you want - no! - need! This could be your way to get a change in routine and press yourself to be the best! But it's so far away. . . And? You're not close to your family anyway, it's not like you can't call them for comfort if need be. You're not exactly leaving any friends behind either. . . What if you can make some friends there? If they're looking for people like you perhaps you can get on well with them. This could be the best decision of your life! Or the worst. . . Come on, you get to go to another country and attend an outstanding school! Don't let sentiment hold you back! It's a boarding school, I'm sure you can bring whatever you want to make yourself feel at home. Tell you what: let's do it! Let's go to this school! What have I got to lose? The worst thing that could happen is getting homesick." And so, she reached across the bed for her phone to contact her father who would tell Pearl Attaway that (Y/n) would be attending Vermere Lake.

For the first time in her life, the change she longed for was finally within reach.

#light academia #dark academia #assassins creed #assassins creed fanfiction #arno dorian x reader #altaïr x reader #jacob frye x reader #ezio auditore x reader #edward kenway x reader #fanfiction #connor kenway x reader #kassandra x reader #alexios x reader #the elites

[tomishaped]

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural

Relationship:

Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton

Characters:

Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain

Additional Tags:

Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.

Previous Chapters

• Chapter One •

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave

Part One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they had reached the car Dean made quick work of the door locks and got them both inside before he punched it, only leaving squealing tires and smoke behind them as they took off. Dean didn’t start to relax till they were a mile or so away from the group of demons, still keeping an eye on the mirrors though just in case. “You really pissed someone off," he said with a grin as he glanced over at the other while he drove.

Izzy did manage to force himself to relax once they were in the car, though Dean still happened to look tense with the way he was looking out his mirrors for someone. Honestly, it probably helped the demon to relax with the fact that Izrael couldn't feel Dagon as close anymore. She was either losing interest or losing track of them for now, either way that worked for him. "Huh?" He was honestly confused at first when Dean said that, "Why would you think I pissed some- oh! Because of all that? Right. Yeah. They don't seem to fond of me, do they? I should probably stop crashing into their parties like that." 

Izrael shifted in the seat a little and rolled his eyes when he saw the man look out his mirrors again, "You can stop doing that now. We're fine, mommy lost us," he said with a shrug, leaning back in the seat again, trying to get comfortable. He was ready to get out of the Winchesters car now, and he would really like to do it without having to kill the hunter next to him in order to keep him from following or trying to track him. Even if he didn't have an issue with killing humans, he didn't know which way Dean's soul would go now and having it back in the pit after he killed him could possibly become… problematic. "So uh, yeah, you can just drop me off whenever now and can go get back too… whatever the hell you were doing before joining me at that lovely party tonight. I'm actually supposed to be at a different party right now anyways, so anywhere is good."

Dean snickered when the other said that they had crashed a few parties, it made sense. He did raise an eyebrow when he was told that the horde had backed off of them. Granted he hadn’t noticed any one but still, he never trusted demons to give up. “To be honest, I was out looking for a good time… guess I found it,” he said with a wicked grin, still feeling a bit of an adrenaline high from the fight and sprint to the car. “Rest of my evening is open if you want some back up,” he offered the blond. “Not saying you can’t handle yourself, I saw your moves back there but… twenty to one is a bit much,”  he said while giving him a bit of a doubtful side look. 

This is what Dean thought of as a good time? The human was either suicidal or crazy. Sure, Izzy did have fun doing shit like this too, but he was a demon- he was fucking crazy. "Mmm, yeah… it was a bit much till you showed up. Definitely would have ended up losing this jacket," Izrael laughed a little at Dean and shook his head, "See, I haven't gone and learned my lesson yet it seems since I'm definitely gonna be crashing one of their parties again. Gotta find it first though, and I can't do that in a strangers car."

Dean raised an eyebrow when the blond mentioned that they weren’t done yet and was looking to start a similar party to where he just found them. Ok sure he had been doing stupid stuff since he got back but he had an excuse. He was trying to repress what felt like forty years of Hell - literal Hell. So what was this kid's excuse? She might be crazy, but her crazy was also kinda hot and hunters like this don’t tend to stick in one place long because of the next big hunt. Besides, too often if they stayed in one place for long then all the enemies they made along the way had a tendency to catch up to them. “I can drop you off wherever your next party is so you don’t get jumped on the way again…” Dean trailed off a little as he drove, “could at least tell me your name before you get yourself killed.”

Izrael smiled at the hunter. "Why would I give someone I've never met in this life my name? Doesn't sound too smart. Besides, I don't see you passing over that information either."

Dean grinned. “Sorry, thought you picked it up before things got hairy. Names Dean, Dean Winchester," he said as he held a hand out to shake as he drove, glancing at the blond but mostly keeping his eyes on the road. “You know demons can’t keep their big mouths shut, if your next party is anything like that one, they’re going to be ready for you and you’re going to lose more than your jacket, sweetheart," he said in a matter of fact tone. “Might be a better idea to show up with back up and armed to the teeth,” he offered with a mischievous grin. “Lucky for you I know the perfect place.”

His excuse? His absolute only memories were of hell. Turning into a demon the way he had had wiped out all his human memories and the little demon only knew the last sixty years he had spent in hell training to do just this. He wasn't trying to repress hell, why repress when it was all he knew? He was just doing what Asmodues sent him off to do, and with the youngest prince of hell being the closest person to the blond and having nothing else to really do… he listened. He enjoyed killing other demons, it was a task he found fun. But when your job is to kill any demon that stands against the man you're working for, you don't exactly make any friends. And being alone only gave him more time to hunt down Asmodues's enemies. It was a vicious never ending cycle that wasn't going to change anytime soon as far as Izrael could tell. Hell either hated him, feared him, or admired him from afar - very afar. No one was brave enough to chance getting on Izzy's bad side. And those that were like the hoard tonight that actually tried to kill him were just too stupid to stay away and deserved to die anyways as far as he was concerned. 

Of course he knew who Dean was once he heard his name. But the hunter didn't need to know that Izrael had heard of him. He eyed the other’s hand for a moment before he sighed and half gave in to the man, though didn't reach his own hand out, "Izzy Hilton," he said, using the name that Asmodues had given him for when he had to pretend to be human. Though he had no idea that it actually was his name. That Asmodues called him Izrael to see if any of the once nineteen year old’s memories would spark with little clues like that. It never did. "They're always on the lookout for me… wouldn't be anything new…" he said with a little shrug, getting the gut feeling that this hunter was not about to let him go off on his own anytime soon. The last thing the little demon needed was to do spend time with a fucking Wincester, especially the one that spent all that time in hell. "No offense, but I don't really work with others. Thanks for the help back there and everything, but you're Dean Winchester… so you and I working together is a bad idea. Trust me."

With both hands back on the wheel, Dean snorted when Izzy said that demons watching out was nothing new. He understood that, that's what made the Bunker so beautiful. It was the definition of a safe house for spooky shit and basically everything else. He sucked some air between his teeth when it seemed the other knew who he was by name, having heard some of the stuff hunters thought of him while he was putting in time at the Roadhouse. “Fair, I mean we did just meet and I also just saved your ass from a fucking gaggle of demons, but okay,” he said, half joking. “We don’t know each other, and inviting you to my secret Men of Letters bunker can seem a little Silence of the Lambs but I promise, imma damn puppy dog compared to your normal party guests,” he said,.  Ane yes, he did just name drop the Men of Letters to see if that helped his case. Dean wasn’t a creep and if Izzy wanted out he’d drop them off wherever they wanted but all horn-dog habits aside, he wouldn’t rest well if he did. He’d probably end up asking around and looking into this pretty Izzy Hilton to see what her story was about. “Again, I know bunker can be off putting, but this place is huge, over twenty bedrooms to pick from. It’s armed to the teeth so nothing is getting in. I have one of the few keys to get in but you can get out whenever you like,” he added, trying to seem a little less kidnappy and rapey. “That and there's a hundred year old whiskey collection.”

Izzy had absolutely zero ideas of what other hunters thought of the man he was currently sitting next too. Up until now, he had done a really good job at avoiding them in his travels and work. Sure, to be on the safe side he did do some research on hunters who seemed to be the biggest threats but until now he hadn't actually met any of them. So, right now he couldn't figure out if it was just bad fucking luck that Dean Winchester happened to walk in on his ambush, or some weird good luck to get him out of it unharmed. Even after over fifty years as a demon, almost sixty now maybe? He honestly had never actually hurt a human. So did he deserve this kind of bad luck? On the other hand though, can demons actually have good luck? It was really confusing. 

Fact was, Izzy only knew of Dean Winchester from the mouths of other demons. His research on hunters in general was by word of mouth in hell. It wasn't like there were any books he could read on them. So he knew the man was obviously a good hunter, and not just when it came to demons. He knew the idiot sold his soul to save that dumbass brother of his that was hanging around one of the main demons on his own hit list. It was just really hard to get to the bitch when she was being protected by the hunter drinking demon blood. He only knew that from actually running across her once, he could fucking smell the demon blood radiating from the human she was with and it didn't take long to figure out who that human was and what fucking Ruby was doing with him. Little Sammy Winchester. Lovely. He also knew the man next to him spent what was like forty years in hell, being tortured for most of them by fucking Alastair. It had come as a surprise when he heard that there was some sort of angel watching out for him. Well, the angel part wasn't really known when he figured it out. It was just known that the man was pulled out of hell and Izrael knew that an Angel was the only way the man could have escaped hell and returned to his body the way he had. And really, he would prefer to avoid angels. Most demons weren't really that much of a threat to him. They could likely hurt him but Izzy was not easy to actually kill. Not that they had quite figured that out yet. But he had no idea what an angel might be able to do to him. 

Izrael couldn't remember his own torture. He actually had no idea it even happened. Ever since the day Asmodues found his newly turned demon in that cage he kept his pet in, the youngest prince acted as though that was the first day of Izzy's life. He didn't even know that he was in that cage because of that man in the first place. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean, even though I'm pretty damn sure you're no puppy dog," Izzy told him with a little roll of his eyes, the man who had spent his last few years in hell torturing other souls was far from a puppy. But he had caught Izzy's attention mentioning the Men of Letters. He vaguely remembered Asmodues mentioning them decades ago. Something about them being all dead now… about them holding knowledge no one else had. Going to this bunker… could prove useful if the knowledge thing was true.

Izzy finally looked over at Dean again, tucking hair behind his ears, "Well whiskey is always a very good and tempting offer," he said, chewing on his lip a little as he thought it over. "If you're all armed like you say you are… Do you also have books and shit? Like, books on demons and shit." Izzy knew he had been turned differently than almost every other demon that existed, he had to have been to have his own body and no ability whatsoever to jump from one meatsuit to the next, but he had no idea what happened to make him this way. And no book he had found since being set loose on the world had been able to give him the answer he was looking for. If this bunker had hidden knowledge it might be his best bet to find out how he turned, because Asmodues wasn't telling him anytime soon. "And I really wouldn't have to just stay if I don't want to. I can just walk out? Seriously?"

Dean just grinned when the other said he was pretty sure he wasn’t a puppy, calling him out like that. And he believed them when they said that they weren’t scared of him, he did find her in the middle of a demon infested alleyway in the middle of the night. His grin grew when Izzy seemed to be mulling the thought over. He raised an eyebrow and chanced a longer glance at the other when he was asked about books. That he hadn’t been expecting, didn’t peg her for a book type. There might be something they were looking for specifically that the old bats had locked away. He would definitely be doing an inventory check but hey it sounded like they were coming around to the idea. A new face and alone time might do him some good, even if they don't get handsy and this Izzy turned out to be a gigantic book worm. 

“Like I said you need a magic key to get in but getting out isn’t a problem, locks behind you but I gotta warn you the cell service sucks,” he said with a smile. He altered his route and started out of town and toward the bunker. The long ride was pretty much silent after that, Dean was honestly a bit too nervous to say something and have the blond change her mind about coming. He couldn't help wanting to help her, wanting to figure her out at least a little. From wanting to protect the little thing and knowing that he would just worry about them at this point. “Just don’t take anything, alright? Not really supposed to take people to the BatCave but…” he trailed off with a shrug after he parked by the bunker, obviously making an exception for the blond right now. 

Izzy shrugged when he mentioned cell service, that meant pretty much nothing to him. Of course he knew what a cell phone was, he had been in this world long enough. But he never felt the need to get one. Who the hell was he gonna call? "No big deal, no cell phone. I was serious, I've never worked with someone else before. Never felt the need to get one," he shrugged, as little like it was normal or something to not have a cell this day and age. He honestly didn't actually know either way though. "And I don't plan on taking anything. I've got my own weapons and shit. Just… looking for a little info is all. If you happen to have a book with what I want to know, well, then I won't really need it anymore once I read it." He ignored the Bat Cave comment for the moment, not wanting to let the hunter next to him realize he actually understood the reference. He especially didn't want him to know he found it amusing.

Dean decided to leave Baby in a little hidden knook they made for when they didn’t plan on staying long and putting her in the very nice garage. He just grinned as they walked up to the old green doors after grabbing a bag from the trunk and he pulled it open for the other. Once past the first threshold Dean unlocked the second doors and stepped through, holding it open for the other. “This is the legacy of the Men of Letters, a bit old and dusty but we’re still fixing the place up.” he said as they made their way down the spirling, metal staircase. He walked past the light up map table and tossed his bag on the first long table in the library. “Wanna tour?” he asked as he turned to the other, smiling at them.

He just wanted a fucking book that explained how humans became demons. Without their souls spending hundreds of years tortured in hell. Asmodues had no choice but to tell him that he turned differently than everyone else when he realized he couldn't just jump from meat suit to meat suit like everyone else could. His soul never left his body, something in him changed while he was still a human. But that was all Asmodues would say on the subject. Honestly it was the one thing about the man who called himself Izzy's master that drove him absolutely insane. He didn't care so much about whatever his human life was since he couldn't miss what he didn't remember or had any sort of idea what it might have been like, but he did want to know why he turned into a demon. Was he evil in his previous life? Is that how it worked? He remembered someone once saying that he must have cracked to change the way he did, but cracked from what and how? He just wanted to know how the fuck he came into existence. What made him so different from other demons. Why even Dagon, who knew that Izzy couldn't kill her without that oh so special gun, feared him to some extent. And nothing he had found so far explained any of that shit. Was he a bookworm? Mmm, debatable. Ask any demon who knew him they'd say no,, but Izzy was really good at keeping things about himself pretty damn secret. The less people knew the less they had on you and the safer you were. But the truth was that he did love books, loved to read and learn. And now that he wasn't under Asmodues' thumb at all times and had a mission to carry out, he was able to use research for said mission as an excuse to read. Sure, he was actually doing research but for so much more than anyone actually knew. 

Izzy was a bit unsure following Dean into the bunker when they got there. This could be a really, really stupid idea. But on the other hand… he was going to have info on the Winchester's no one else could possibly dream of having and he might get a few other answers out of this as well so he followed along. He looked around as Dean led him through the place, tilting his head and letting a confused little look cross his face as he tilted his head back to see the ceiling, "Uh, sure, if you want. So, do you keep the bats in some special room or something? I kinda just pictured them all over the place."

Her not havung a phone probably should have set off more red fags then it did because even if you were a loner it was useful to have one since pay phones were all but extinct. He tilted his own head when Izzy had mentioned bats, that had been a reaction he might have expected from Cas but really? “It’s not really a batca-... never mind. This is our fortress,” he said, just trying to get past what he felt was a painful moment. He turned on his heel and held up his arms out on either side as he gestured to the books. “This is the library. Nothing says stuffy bookworms like having a library right at the front door right?” He said with a laugh, turning completely to face the other as he walked around one of the tables. 

If Izrael actually cared much about completely blending in when he was going by Izzy he probably would have gotten a cell phone. But truth be told, he didn't actually care what humans thought about him and despite Asmodues having insisted he play the part on earth he could probably count on one hand how many times he had ever used the name Izzy before. Since he usually avoided hunters he rarely ever felt the need too. So really… What was the point of carrying around a little electronic box used to call people? The only person who would ever actually want to get ahold of him had his own ways of doing so. But even Asmodues left Izzy to himself for the most part nowadays as long as he kept doing what he was told and continued to work his damnedest to keep Lucifer in his box. Though if he had realized how odd it actually was to not have one, he wouldn't have mentioned it. 

Of course it wasn't actually a Bat Cave. It almost annoyed him that the hunter found it so easy to believe that the batman reference really meant nothing to the blond. Sure, part of him was glad too because he didn't want the fact that he enjoyed those comics to be known by anyone, but still… how stupid did this hunter think he really was if he believed that Izzy? He was pretty sure that Batman was popular among humans. It was the Winchester thinking he was dumb that bothered him more than anything though, because that was just not true. Izzy had always been rather smart, even before he turned, he had a near photographic memory. But with all memories of humanity gone, and those memories being from close to sixty years before anyways, all that was left was hell and the supernatural. And he figured that shit out quickly, easily. Humans, not so much. Humanity and what they were like and what they did like were never on his list of things he needed to learn about. Humans weren't his targets. "No offense, but you don't exactly strike me as the bookworm type," he said, moving around the table to go and look at the spines of the books, fingers running lightly over them. Yeah, this would definitely be his best bet at finding answers. Some of these were obviously old as fuck. "The kill first and ask questions later type. Though I suppose since all you hunters go after everything supernatural, you need the lore books, huh?" He personally didn't bother with any other supernatural beings, just the demons on Lucifer and Dagon's side. Which was probably a good thing for them, if this little demon were to ever start working as a real hunter with someone like Dean… they wouldn't stand a chance. As they had proved earlier… the two of them working on the same side had some pretty nasty consequences for those fighting against them. 

Dean chuckled when Izzy said he didn’t seem like the book worm type, oh hell no that was Sammy’s department. “Yeah no, that's more my brother's thing,” he said as he walked over to the opposite wall, towards the small table with a few bottles filled clear, brown liquid and a few glasses. “I at least wait long enough to see what I'm fighting so I know how to kill it.” Dean poured them a few glasses and headed to the closest main table to the blond. He leaned against it on his hip and took a sip from his glass while he held out the other to Izzy. The other’s wording did strike him as odd though and he raised an eyebrow a little. The way he said it was just off, but Dean wanted to think Izzy was just into demons, and therefore could know some pretty useful stuff. That or maybe he was really green and thought of himself being different from regular hunters. His gut was telling him something was still off though, but he wasn’t sure what.

Izzy was glad his back was to the hunter when he mentioned his brother so he didn't see the little demon roll his eyes and scowl at the mention of that junkie who was seriously getting in his way with that bitch he was attached to. He was pretending he didn't really know much about them… which wasn't a complete lie, but he had a serious suspicion he knew something about the younger Winchester that Dean didn't. He might know about the demon bitch Sam hung out with but he highly doubted this man knew about the blood and psychic shit that boy was playing with. The psychic shit was honestly the main reason he hadn't gone after Ruby yet, he wasn't like other demons, he had no idea how Sam's little exercising shit would affect him. 

“You know, you never mentioned what you were looking into. I’m guessing something demon related,” he mentioned to the other. There wasn’t much small talk on the car ride over.

He didn't say anything for a bit while Dean spoke and walked around the room, more interested in looking through the shelves of books for anything that looked promising. But he never let his guard down really, constantly aware of where Dean was around him or how close he was. He stiffened a bit when he felt Dean closer again and he asked that direct question. Izzy didn't really want to answer anything he was asked, but avoiding taking to him too much might just seem more suspicious. Fuck. He really should have paid more attention to the humans around him the last decade, he was really bad at trying to be one. "Yeah, demon related," Izzy finally said as he turned around and saw Dean holding out the whiskey he had promised. Alcohol didn't really affect him as much as it did humans unless he drank an ungodly amount so he wasn't worried about drinking at least. 

He took the glass offered to him and leaned against the bookshelf behind him, shrugging his shoulder a little, "Don't know if you picked up on it during that whole ambush shit, but I kinda hunt demons. Apparently I'm pretty good at it since they don't seem to like me much at all." He took a drink from the whiskey he was given, relishing in the burn that goes down his throat. As a demon, the little blond didn't need to eat. The few times he did were few and far between and it was always for some reason he couldn't figure out, but knew he just wanted whatever the hell it was that he was trying. But he did like to drink. Alcohol that is. He liked the burn. 

"Just curious what kind of people become demons and how. Always good for a guy to know everything he can about his enemies and all, yanno?" It wasn't a lie. He had actually been avoiding actually lying to the hunter. Izzy didn't like to lie, it was too hard to remember the fake information he had given to who. So the only thing he had lied about was his name, but that wasn't that big of a lie as Izzy did sound like a nickname for Izrael. Mostly, he was just leaving out details he didn't think Dean needed to know. Like the fact he was a demon and really just wanted to know how he, himself, had turned. How demons like him were made. Because as far as the books he had found about demons elsewhere knew, Cain was the only other person to become a demon this way. And almost nothing was fucking known about that man. As a matter of fact, he was the one demon who no matter how hard he tried Izzy could not fucking find. Not that he had really looked into how to find him. He didn't want to kill Cain like he did with everyone else he hunted down, he wanted answers. But even so, he knew Cain wasn't exactly like him and probably didn't have the answers he wanted. So that had just been another fucking dead end. The little blond didn't do a whole lot of shit that he actually wanted to do or something anyways, ninety percent of his time was spent following Asmodues' orders to hunt down Dagon's followers and make sure Lucifer didn't get out of that cage. 

Dean nodded a little when the other confirmed that it was demon related, easy guess. “You don’t pick up that kind of attention without being a major pain in their ass,” he said with a snicker. The man's shoulders stiffened when he took another drink when Izzy said what he was looking into. What kind of people become demons. He forced back a smile and shifted a little as he tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not let it run off with the flashbacks and nightmares he has. It felt like every time he blinked he was hit with a flash of something he’d seen or had done. He told everyone he didn't’ remember any of it and refused to talk about it and self medicated with liquor like any good hunter.

Well duh, obviously he was a pain in their asses. Two dozen of them had actually gotten together without someone in power telling them what to do to try and take him out. They failed, miserably thanks to the hunter near him right now, but it didn't negate the fact that Izzy was a huge threat to them and their plans. Really though, if the whole fucking lot of them just fucking stopped trying to set Lucifer free Izzy would have no problem leaving them alone. But until that happened…. He had a job to do. What the hell would he do with himself if Asmodeus actually managed to take the crown and this mission was over? He'd actually never thought about that before. Every single memory he had had something to do with him having to keep Lucifer in the cage. 

“Well demons are mostly twisted and tortured souls. You get twisted up so much down there you turn into something else,” he said, rubbing at his brow as he fidgeted a little as he spoke. “At the end of the day they're a spirit, just nastier. You don’t normally catch one running around before they possess someone but the same tricks apply, salt and iron,” he told him, running off a few things off the top of his head, mostly from first hand experience. “I’m sure you know all about devils traps and all that,” he said, waving his hand and finally looking over at the other. It was probably a good thing Dean had been so caught up with that Izzy was looking into that he completely missed the suspicious pronoun.

Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Dean when the man just told him shit he already knew. Was he actually under the impression that someone he thought was a legit demon hunter didn't know that shit already? Also. He was wrong. While holy water did have the same effect on him that it did to most demons, salt and iron actually didn't bother him for some reason. Every single voice in his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut for a while, to not get sucked into this conversation. But the thing was… he actually wanted to talk about this shit. He never talked with anyone about shit he actually wanted too. Demons avoided him unless they were trying to kill him, he avoided humans and hunters, and Asmodues pretty much just told him what to do. The little demon didn't actually have any memories of just talking with someone about something he was interested in. And this happened to be the biggest fucking intrest he really had right now.

"See, right there just proves you really have no fucking clue what you're actually dealing with, do you? Obviously being tortured in hell is going to fuck up any soul in some way, but not every soul in hell becomes a demon. This world would be fucked if they did. There are millions and millions of souls in hell." He only just stopped himself from pointing out that despite Dean's own torture and escapades with Alastair he didn't actually turn into a demon. No, a fucking angel actually came and pulled him from the pit. So what the hell was it that made some souls twist the same way he had even though he hadn't gone through that die and be tortured shit and made others just… well, be tortured for all eternity. Or torture as was the case with some. "Yeah, most of them are just nastier twisted spirits, and you don't normally see one walking around without someone else's meat suit… but they can. It's apparently super fucking rare for it to happen, but a human can just wake up a demon somehow. In their own skin and everything. So I want to know what makes the souls that twist that way different from those that don't. What kind of person they must have been. And what happens to those people who turn? How does that happen? But unfortunately, because it's so fucking rare, I haven't been able to find a single book in the last ten years that actually explains that shit." He sighed a little in frustration at the thought before just shaking his head and finishing the rest of his own drink before he turned his back to Dean again to start looking through the books again, waving his own hand in dismissal of the subject. Dean wasn't going to have the answers he wanted obviously. "But yes, of course I know all about devils traps. I just don't use them." He couldn't if he wanted too, not unless he wanted to get stuck inside one himself. Besides, even if he could… with the way he hunted, it would be pretty damn useless and time consuming to try since it was usually a sneak attack/ambush of his own on their own grounds. Wasting time with a devils trap when it was just so much easier to kill them just seemed stupid. "Do you have any sort of order with these books or am I gonna have to look through all of them to find the ones about demons?"

Dean was a little taken back when Izzy said that he had no clue about demons. He felt anger rise up in his belly and his face tightened some. His pride didn’t like that but the built up emotion subsided the more Izzy spoke. He did have a point, if that’s all it took then Hell would be nothing but demons. He never really focused on the fine details, he just killed them. His face became a mix of surprises and doubt when Izzy kept going and told him about the type of demons that keep their bodies. What the hell? He’d never heard of something like that before, what the hell could it be capable of? It was a worrying thought. “This keeps getting better and better,” Dean muttered under his breath. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about his younger brother on his road trip with his little demon buddy. What if that was Ruby's plan, twist his brother into one of them? He’d fucking gank that bitch before she could try. He wanted to call and check up but that hadn’t gone so well last time. 

He made a small face when Izzy asked about an order to the crazy amount of information. He finished his half glass of whiskey and pushed off of the table, setting the glass down before walking away. “I have a feeling what we’re looking for isn’t in here, come on,” He said, motioning the other to follow him with a head nod. He led the blond down the hall a bit, through another doorway and down some stairs. He pushed one of the two heavy doors open and held it open for the other hunter. “When we started going through the stuff that was left here we found that most of the heavy reading books are in here,” He told him. The room was about 25 by 25 feet, metal shelving lined all the walls filled with books and some jars. There was a decent sized table in the middle of the room under the only light, taking up a good chunk of the free space. 

Dean just nearly kidnapped the little blond he helped out that he knew nothing about other than the fact he could kill demons pretty damn well and brought him to his secret bunker and he thought anything that came out of this idea wouldn't be completely fucked? Hell. He was pretty damn sure that Dean didn't even realize yet that he hadn't stepped in to help a pretty little girl, but actually a boy who just happened to look a lot like one. Add on to that fact that this boy was also one of those freaky ass demons he was just talking about and you could see clearly that this man definitely hadn't thought this through. "You have no idea," Izzy mumbled back, not sure or honestly even caring if Dean heard him. 

Izzy set down the glass still in his hand before he shrugged again and followed Dean through the bunker. Fuck. This place really was huge. Izzy couldn't help but grin a little when he looked into the room. Dark. Enclosed. No way for anyone to try and sneak up on him again. Exactly the kind of rooms he liked and usually worked in when he was looking for a party to crash. "Awesome," he said as he walked in the room. Creepy jars and big old books lining the walls on top of everything else, Izzy had instantly and probably noticeably relaxed more when he was in the room that was so much like a place he would actually want to be in. He didn't say anything else as he started scanning the books on one of the shelves, his eyes widening some when he saw what he instantly felt like he had been looking for for years now. It was smaller than any of the other books in here, but that wasn't surprising considering how little information there probably was at all on demons like him. Humans Turning Demon. 

Izzy grabbed the book off the shelf and took a few steps backwards to push himself up to sit on the table, just remembering that Dean was there as he went to open the book. "Uhm… thanks," he said, forcing himself to remember that he was supposed to be a human and actually used to having someone around and even weirder for him- that someone helping him. "Hey… uh, why are you being so like… nice and normal to me? As far as I've seen, people aren't just nice to strangers. Especially when said stranger is a pretty boy who can shove a knife into a human skull."

Dean noticed the small change in the others' demeanor when he showed them the room. The room didn’t bother him or his brother too much but ‘awesome’ wasn’t the normal reaction to this stuff. Though in this line of work, who’s really normal? You see a lot of weird and horrible shit fast and you pick up a few quirks along the way. He had half turned when  the other called out to him and thanked him, he was going to leave Izzy alone to do their digging. He raised an eyebrow when he was asked why he was being so helpful. He opened his mouth with a grin to say it was just the right thing to do for a lady when Izzy said that last part, his words luckily getting caught up in his throat. BOY!? WHOLY FUCK!! Dean’s back straightened as he looked the other over again. It took him a second or two to catch himself and he cleared his throat out a little. “Well you want demons dead and I want demons dead,” he said with a shrug, his brain still trying to absorb this enlightening new detail about the blond. “And I learned about a new fleshy kind of demon, win win,” Dean chuckled. Hell all of Dean seemed stiff. Right now, he honestly didn’t know what the fuck to do.

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Jude & Jac

Jude: are you alright? Jac: Not particularly Jude: talk to me then Jac: No offense Jac: but that really isn't going to make me feel better Jude: so do it to make me feel better Jac: What do you want, Jude? Jude: idk Jude: everyone's talking but they're not saying stuff that makes sense Jac: No one knows what they're talking about Jac: they should try minding their business Jude: bit unlikely Jac: I'm not going to give you anything more to report back Jac: I've said all I know already Jude: oi! I ain't running a story for the school paper or owt like that Jude: I'm about the angle whereby you're my sister and I've known your mates for time Jude: it's personal, like Jac: It happened to Is Jac: not me, not you Jac: we can't sit around making it about us, it's not productive Jude: productive? Jac: Don't start Jude: can we get to a place where you tell me what's going on with Izzy or what? Jac: I don't know Jac: some lad creeped on her at the party last night and now her mum is on a mission about it Jude: she's your best mate, how're you not camped out on her front garden?! Jac: Oh great, make me feel bad Jac: she doesn't want to talk, I'm not going to force my presence upon her to make myself, or any of the rest of you, feel better Jude: she needs you, not her ma, what's that woman gonna do? what does she get about anything? Jac: What do you think I'm gonna do Jac: for goodness sake Jude: fuck all if you ain't there Jac: There's nothing to be done Jac: it's happened Jude: that's cold Jude: there's like comfort you could give her Jude: you could be someone that listens to her, if her ma's on such a mission Jac: Like I said, you know nothing Jac: that's all very well you proposing all these nice ideas but I told you, she doesn't want to talk Jac: so this is a pointless conversation Jude: like you heard me say, why aren't you there waiting on her for when she does? Jac: I'm not sitting outside her door Jac: I don't know what you're getting at, to be honest Jude: she'd do it for you Jude: you know that Jac: You're far too concerned with hypotheticals Jac: Like I said, I'm actually trying to be productive here Jude: nah, you're looking out for yourself Jude: being a shitty mate in the process Jac: Fine Jac: happy now? Jude: yeah that's proper cheered me up Jude: ffs Jac: Frankly, you're the least of my worries right now Jac: and that apparently suits you fine so Jac: if we're done here Jude: are you gonna keep replying like this is a business email? Jac: I've got nothing to say Jac: that I haven't already Jude: you've said nowt to me Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: I've got stuff to do Jude: what stuff? Jac: Talk to Sav, everyone else who was there Jac: see what they know Jude: it was her boyfriend's house, yeah? that bit's true? Jac: Yes Jac: it was just a normal house party Jude: did he invite that lad or did he gatecrash? Jac: He was invited Jac: he went to our school, everyone knows him Jude: do you? Jac: Yeah Jac: obviously Jude: if it's who I heard it was then I reckon I do too Jac: Who did you hear it was? Jude: Carter Murphy Jude: he used to be a massive deal far as winning shit for the basketball team but that's not why I know him Jac: I'm not going to confirm or deny Jac: not going to spread the rumours when it's already running rampant Jude: spreading rumours ain't what I'm about either, tah very much Jac: I just meant I'm not saying either way Jude: And I'm just saying if it was him I never reckoned there was anything that off about him Jude: no more than any other older lad who chats to me at parties Jude: wondering if I should've Jac: I don't know Jac: maybe there isn't Jude: but it's not like he'd be rocking a sign saying 'top at beer pong and banter but might force himself on you' at any rate Jac: Well yeah Jac: there's two sides to every story Jude: hang on, you're saying Izzy is lying? Jac: No, I'm saying it's impossible to ever know for definite in these situations Jude: it shouldn't be impossible to take her word for it, unless you've got a reason not to Jac: its hers against his Jude: why would she say he forced her if he didn't? Jude: her ma ain't THAT strict Jac: She was drunk Jac: you know you can think a thing happened one way that isn't necessarily how it was or how the other person saw it Jude: Yeah Jude: but this is a bit different from me getting pissed off at my mates for none of 'em catching me when I thought I'd told 'em I was gonna jump and I'd never Jac: I can have personal opinions Jac: it's not as if I'm talking to anyone or doing anything with it Jac: if her ma wants to take it legal then that's for her to decide Jude: I dunno, maybe you're right Jude: legally, it is her word against his Jude: add in the drink, even if she didn't have that much, it's bollocks but it's bollocks they'd still use Jac: Everyone knows it's pointless going to the police Jac: regardless if it happened or not Jac: don't need to know exact prosecution rates to know it's a waste of time Jude: poor Izzy Jude: whatever happened, everyone's gonna have a personal opinion Jude: and they'll put it about more than you Jac: It's shit Jac: it'd be a better use of time finding a decent counselor Jude: you could tell her that when she's talking to you again Jac: Yeah well Jac: maybe everyone needs to stop trying to tell her what to do Jude: alright, fair Jude: I didn't need to go off on you either Jude: my bad Jac: You aren't the first Jac: don't worry about it Jude: I am though Jude: I don't wanna go out, I don't want you to go out Jac: Come on, don't be stupid Jac: it's not as if there's a maniac on the loose Jac: a boy pushed his luck at a party, it's nothing new, nothing to be scared of Jude: a lad I reckoned was alright Jude: like I said, nobody's got a sign on Jude: everything's gone weird now Jac: People can't be trusted Jac: if you've been going around thinking they can, you're lucky nothing bad has happened to you Jude: some people Jude: you trust Sav, don't you? Jac: I know her Jac: properly Jac: she isn't some random at parties Jude: you didn't know her from birth, like Jac: nothing is ever airtight Jac: obviously Jac: but if she was anything close to what that lad was, it'd be out by now Jude: but if you knew what that lad was like why did you let Izzy go off with him? Jac: Who said I did? Jac: not trusting people as a default doesn't mean I know they aren't to be Jude: well yeah Jac: If she wants to go off with a lad, it's not my place to stop her Jac: or do a background check before she does Jude: would you let me? Jac: We would never be at the same party Jude: I'd never be at one of Sav's Jude: she's at like a 4/10 at this point Jac: I don't care what you think Jude: bit rude Jac: You are Jac: this conversation has nothing to do with her Jude: why are you being so touchy about her? Jac: because this conversation was already close to pointless so I don't need it to get any further off track Jude: I'm bringing some normality back to it Jac: I don't have time for this, seriously Jude: my bad, AGAIN Jude: come on Jac: I'm sick of it Jac: I don't want to talk about this anymore Jude: I know but it's shit when we don't talk Jac: Well Jac: there's not much else going on with me today so Jude: is there owt I can DO then? Jude: dad's camped by the kettle already, like Jac: Keep them busy Jac: I need to go somewhere Jude: no challenge in that Jude: are you going to see Sav? Jac: Tah Jac: yeah, might take a while Jude: is she alright? Jac: No, she's really upset Jac: and her family are driving her crazy Jude: I have just the thing up my sleeve to keep ours busy for time Jude: on you go Jac: Good Jac: in a bit Jude: later then Jude: [skip skip skip] Jude: is Sav still upset? Jude: cos mum and dad are driving me crazy now Jude: they're FUMING 😡🤬 Jac: It's safe to say we're past the point of you needed to distract them Jude: I've got a good work ethic Jude: if a job's worth doing Jac: Very impressive, like Jude: tah, makes one of us Jude: meant to chuck your phone 🚮 you rookie Jac: I have Jac: check the IP address if you really fancy it Jude: 🤓 Jude: how long you gonna take the piss for? Jac: It's not about that Jude: what's it about then? Jac: having time and space Jude: everyone's saying Sav broke up with her boyfriend cos of what happened to Izzy Jude: if she's chucked her phone too she won't know Jac: She broke up with him before then Jac: you can spread that if you wanna Jude: it's nowt to do with me, just saying in case you wanna warn her Jac: Well she's not there to have to listen Jac: if people are tarring Tyler with the same brush as Carter, it'd be the decent thing to do to put that out there Jude: you can't stay away forever Jude: but alright, cos they're saying bad shit about him and all his mates and I don't fuck with that Jac: People might learn to keep quiet if they realize they could be next Jude: bit unlikely Jac: not really Jac: Ty and his friends are popular Jude: not right now Jac: that's my point Jude: yeah I got that Jude: nobody thinks any of this bollocks is gonna land at their feet, that's mine Jude: everyone wants to be special, untouchable and so on Jude: 👑✨ Jac: well if the ⭐s ain't then no one is Jude: I'm here for that, fuck cliques, this ain't America Jac: Unlikely Jude: 🙄😏 Jac: I'm serious Jac: I don't care what anyone at that school thinks now Jude: you don't, your best mate might Jac: She doesn't Jac: it's way below where our concerns are Jac: or have ever been Jude: he's her well recent ex Jude: everyone knows she loved him Jac: Like I said, you can defend his innocence Jac: She dumped him Jude: alright Jude: you ain't found time or space to be less touchy, I get it Jac: I clearly don't want to talk Jac: take the hint Jude: nah Jac: Jesus Jude: you don't get to just do one so easily, take that hint Jac: well I have Jac: and I can log off any time I want Jude: this isn't how you handle shit, anyone with a clue would put money on me legging it before you Jac: then, again, you'd all be wrong Jude: it was all her idea, yeah? Jude: if her family are that relentless you know they'd let her stay Jude: it doesn't have to be some checked in to heartbreak hotel moment Jac: No, it was mine Jac: I don't want to be there Jac: I don't know how you don't get that Jude: nobody wants any of this to be happening but it is Jude: it was you who told me to face up to the fact, how long ago, like? Jac: And I told you, I had things to do Jac: This has little to nothing to do with Isabelle Jude: ❌ running off into the sunset with Savannah off your list then Jude: you ain't missed a day of school in such a properly long time that my mates had that bet running for ages and all lost, remember? Jude: you're the weirdo that goes in 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮🤧💀👻 Jac: Some things are more important Jude: what's so important you need a room with an expensive view to do it in? Jac: Staying sane Jac: not being around to listen to that bullshit and worse Jude: it'll be here when you have to come back Jude: be my sister and pull the 🩹 off Jude: none of this is Jac behaviour Jac: Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought Jude: if in your own words this has nowt to do with Izzy, it's nowt you can't handle Jude: things were bad when you fell out with Mills, you stayed sane and around for that Jac: She didn't get assaulted by nobody Jude: it wasn't your fault that Izzy did Jac: That's not how it feels Jac: or what everyone will say Jude: nobody's saying it and I'd stop it if they were Jac: I'm sick of being treated like I did something wrong Jude: massive dickheads are the only ones who'd try and 1. I'm not gonna let 'em 2. you don't care what people like that think Jude: you're stronger and braver than their bullshit Jac: It's all of you Jac: asking so many questions Jac: Sav's parents want to lock her up Jude: it's mum and dad's job to worry and lay the law down, like Jude: I could've done better with it, alright, I know Jude: but if you reckon Sav's parents are headcases now, leaving it even longer ain't a decent plan Jude: you're the family genius, come on Jac: You worry them, they start to listen Jac: instead of saying how it is and how it's going to be Jude: you're the oldest, everyone knows what that means Jac: We aren't coming back until this calms down and they're willing to be reasonable Jac: that's that Jude: running away don't calm down anything 💥🔥🌪 Jac: Then we won't be coming back any time soon Jac: they're the adults and that's what they need to be about this Jude: what about school? Jac: It doesn't matter Jac: it's not like we have exams or anything soon Jude: school's what mattered most to you since you started going 🤓 Jac: So, I'm smarter than everyone else Jac: I don't need to worry about falling behind Jude: it IS you! Jude: I'm not just talking to a drifter wearing your skin Jac: 🙄 Jude: 😜 Jac: You're an idiot Jude: you'll miss me when you've had your time and space Jac: Unlikely Jude: 💔🥶 Jude: give Sav my love cos she'll 100% miss me Jac: Hilarious Jude: I'll be here all week 🤣🎤 Jac: Sorry to hear that, like Jude: I'll live, like Jac: Would you like me to 💔? Jude: don't fake owt for me Jude: rarely works out Jac: So I hear Jude: well those of us who ain't in the top % have books to read and not like, doodle all over or make planes out of Jude: ✌️😝 Jude: you know where I'LL be if you need ME, we're only fucked on the vice versa Jac: I'd like to say that was a nice try Jude: me too but Jac: Piss poor is more like it Jude: 🥉 Jude: [skip skip skip again] Jude: I can't knock all night, our dear brother will throw his other 👟 at me Jude: you're scaring me Jude: use some big words I can't get my head round Jac: Leave Jude: Jac Jac: No Jude: what happened? Jac: Nothing Jude: something has cos you weren't this person, like, a day ago Jude: and you said you weren't coming back for ages Jac: Here I am Jude: where's Savannah? Jude: you know I'll ask her Jac: No you won't Jude: use a full sentence then Jac: Do not talk to her Jude: why won't you talk to me? Jude: what could be this bad? Jac: Just go Jac: please Jude: I'll be back tomorrow Jude: 🩹 yeah? Jude: longer you leave it Jac: Don't bother Jude: I ain't about to ignore the state you're in Jude: how did she hurt you? Jac: She didn't do anything Jude: who else did? Jac: No one Jude: Then what? Jac: I'm fine Jude: bollocks! Jac: I am Jude: nah Jude: you came in looking like you'd seen a 👻 Jac: don't want to be here Jude: did you and Sav have a fight or what? cos I don't get why you're back if you don't wanna be Jac: she had to come back Jude: do you want me to give her a ring? get her over? Jac: no Jude: you ARE mad at her then Jac: I'm not Jude: if you ain't 🗨 it's cos you're face-to-face Jude: something's off Jude: don't need to be the family genius, like Jac: she's not done anything Jude: have you? Jac: [does not reply] Jude: you can tell me Jude: I'll help you hide her body Jac: Shut up Jude: you talk and I'll listen Jude: what did you do? Jac: I can't Jude: whatever it is, it won't be as bad as it feels right now Jude: she's your best friend, she'll come back round to that Jude: she just needs to be dramatic for a bit Jac: You have no clue Jude: clue me in then Jac: I don't want to Jac: this is my business Jac: what part of this don't you get, just stop it Jude: alright Jude: you still know where I am Jac: 👍

[babyioniive-blog]

fight for me

summary: Lydia and Calum have a history together. Calum is an illegal fighter and Lydia left to escape When Lydia comes back into town, unspoken feelings rise to the surface and new challenges arise. 

word count: 14.8k

a/n: i’ve worked on this bad boy longer than i’d like to admit. This was inspired by @cakesunflower her stories about fighter or boxing got me thinking and I came up with this. This is in no way trying to copy her work!!! I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. 

- 

“Olivia please don’t drag me with you” I begged as my sister dragged me to the underground arena. “You need to get out more Lydia.” Olivia exclaims to me. 

The last time I was in that arena was when I saw him get knocked out cold. Calum Hood is an illegal boxer and also, my ex-boyfriend. Olivia dragged me to one of his fights one time because her boyfriend, Ashton, trains and manages him. We met at the afterparty and just hit it off from there. We bonded over our taste in music and our shitty taste in beer. I stuck with him through everything. I was there when he got more involved in the ring. I knew the fighting was getting to be a lot for him and when I saw him almost die, I couldn't do it anymore. I knew how much he loved the feeling of it. I knew how he loved the exhilarating feeling of when he won a tough fight. It was the highest of highs for him. And he was pretty damn good too. I loved being there to support him but, after that day I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke it off with him and went to college. I couldn’t make him choose between me or boxing. That was selfish so, I chose for him, thinking I was doing the right thing. It wasn’t the right thing. I made the mistake. 

“Everyone there hates me. You don’t understand.” I say exasperatedly. “No they don’t Lyd.” Olivia says tiredly. “They may not but I know Calum does. I haven’t spoken to him in a year Liv. He doesn’t want me there.” “If there is one thing I know, he wants you there, always.” Olivia says to me. “Not after what I did.” I say and stop dead in my tracks. “I broke it off with him. I made the choice. I haven’t talked to him in so long. He hates me and it’s all my fault. I can’t show my face there. It’s not fair to him.” I finish. “You’re going. You need to see him. He’s good now Lyd. He’s better.” Olivia says trying her best to convince me to go willingly. “Ugh you’re not gonna take no for an answer.” “No I’m not so just make this easy.” Olivia says as I relent. 

We get there and all of the memories come rushing back to me. The smell of burnt hotdogs. The sound of loud people and loud music blasting. I recognize the regulars. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” I mutter. This reminds me of his highest of highs and lowest of lows. I see the ring and it all hits me. I think of the times when he came out with blood dripping everywhere or when I thought he wasn’t gonna come out alive. I think of the bruises on his calloused hands. I think of the times he sat on my counter as I cleaned up his gashes. The feeling was overwhelming. 

Olivia guides me to where Ashton and his other friends Luke and Michael are. “Well well well, look what the cat dragged in. It’s nice to see you again Lydia.” Luke says as he sees me and pulls me in for a hug. “How have you been?” Michael asks as he hugs me too. How have I been? I don’t even know the answer to that. “I’ve been okay. School has swallowed me up.” I say not making eye contact. “How are you?” I ask back. “I’m good. Busy here keeping things on track.” He says. I just nod. Olivia and Ashton are talking. Ashton turns to me and whispers to me, “I know this is hard for you. Thank you for coming.” I just nod and smile nervously. He had no clue. “Does he know I’m here?” I ask him. He shakes his head and my face falls. “Great.” “Hey don’t worry about it. I think he’ll be happy that you’re here.” He says trying to reassure me. “Ashton, you and I both know he won’t be happy.” I said to him. He just makes a sad face and changes the conversation. “Who is he fighting tonight?” I ask and nobody answers my question. “Hello?” I say again. “You wanna tell her?” Luke asks as he looks to my sister. “He’s fighting Damon Banks.” Damon Banks. I knew that name from anywhere. He was one of the toughest fighters. Calum always talked about how his goal was to beat him. Damon was dangerous. He’s left people in that ring close to dead. He can’t be fighting him. “I’m sorry. He’s fighting who?” I asked again. “Listen I know you’re confused but he’s grown so much. Since you left, he’s improved a lot. He can beat him.” Luke says to me. I just stay silent. Since I left he said. That hurt. 

It was almost fighting time so Ashton went over to Calum's corner to hype him up. He’s gonna need it for this one. “I think you should know something before you go on.” Ashton said to him. “What is it?” Calum asked. “Lydia's here.” Ashton said and his eyes widened. 

It looked like that bomb hit harder than any punch could. He looks over sees me. We made direct eye contact. Great. The announcer comes on and announces the fighters. The fight was about to begin. 

The fight was brutal. He was down, battered and bloody. He almost lost but he found the strength to get up. With that he beat Damon with one punch. 

He won.

 Calum won against Damon Banks. Once he stepped out of the ring, Ashton greeted him with a towel. The feeling Calum felt had to have been euphoric. “Congrats man! You deserved that win.” Ashton says to him and he just smiles at him. “My man!” Luke greets him as he pats his back. “That was amazing Cal. Im proud of you” Michael says to him. “How do you feel?” Olivia asks. I try my best to stay behind. “I feel” he pauses “amazing.” That’s the first I heard his voice in a year. His deep raspy voice brought me back. Olivia whispers to me “You gonna speak Lyd?” “No.” I say back. She gives me a knowing look. Calum turns to me and says, “Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.”

 I feel my breath hitch in my throat. “Hi Calum.” Is all I can think of saying. I mentally hit myself. “I’m gonna give you two a second.” Michael says and with that, they all go, leaving just me and Calum. I look at him and say “You dyed your hair blonde.” He chuckles “You cut yours.” He replied. “That tends to happen at 2am post mental breakdown.” I say back hoping the ground swallows me up. “Why are you here?” He asks. “Well, you want the honest truth or what I tell people so they don’t question me?” I ask. “Both.” “So I've told people I’m taking a gap year so I can catch up with family but the truth is, it’s so depressing at college. Everyone are assholes and it’s caused my anxiety to go crazy so I’m taking a break for my mental health.” I say honestly. “M sorry to hear that.” He replies. “I should be apologizing to you.” I say to him. He just shakes his head. “Tonight is too good of a night to be bothered with the past.” He replied. “I agree.” I turn to walk away and he goes to change and get ready. 

“Where are we celebrating?” Michael asks. “Party at my house?” Olivia asks and I glare at her. “Come on Lyd, ease up.” Olivia says. I just nod my head. This is so not how I wanted to spend my night.

At my house, it's me, the boys and a few other people from Calums gym. Olivia is drinking. I’m not really in the mood for all of this so I sit in the corner of the living room. I decided to go outside for some air. I just sit on the patio taking it all in. I watch the stars for a while. I don’t even realize it’s almost 1am. Soon i’m joined by someone. I turn around and see Calum and give him a small smile. He comes and sits down next to me and takes out a cigarette. We sit in silence. I’m the first to break the silence. 

“Those are gonna kill you one day.” I say to him. “Me and you both know that I have a better chance of dying inside that ring than by this.” He says as he looks at me. “That’s why you left isn’t it.” Calum says. Is it? Is that what he wants to hear? “I thought you didn’t want to talk about this tonight.” I reply. “Call me curious.” He mutters. “To answer your question, It was a part of it yes.” I paused “After seeing you almost die multiple times in that ring, I just couldn’t do it Calum.” I say looking at my feet. “You could’ve talked to me.” He said. “I didn’t want to make you chose. That’s selfish of me.” I say as he stays silent. “I regret it.” I finish. “Me too.” He says standing up. “You didn’t do anything.” I mutter to him. “I didn’t fight for you.” he pauses “and I fucking hate myself for it.” he said walking away but stops before he gets to the door. “and for the record, if you did make me choose, I would've chosen you.” He says leaving me speechless and with that he walks inside. 

I decided to go to bed and think about the night's events. The love Calum and I had was a once in a lifetime thing. We were each other's everything. I never stopped loving him, and I don’t think I ever will. 

                                                        ******

The next morning I woke to be greeted by 3 men in my kitchen. “Did anyone leave last night?” I question. “A few did. Calums in the bathroom.” I nod and go to the cereal. “How did that go last night? I saw you guys talking outside.” Luke ask. “It went okay. We kinda talked about it.” I said. “Please don’t hurt him again.” Luke replies. I stopped dead in my tracks. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I mean, that when you left Lydia, he was devastated. He was hurting bad. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces again” Luke responds. “Mate I think now isn’t a good ti-” Ashton starts but I interrupt. I’m not doing this right now. He has no clue what I went through. It wasn't an easy choice. “You think I wasn’t devastated? You think that I wasn’t hurting too?” I pause. “That choice was the hardest fucking choice I’ve ever had to make. It was stupid of me not to talk to him about it yes but I was hurting too. You have no clue what I went through either. Knowing it was my fault too. You have no clue. No fucking clue Luke. You don’t know what it’s like to see someone you love, go into that ring and not know if they’ll make it out alive. I loved him, fuck I still do and I always will but that’s not why I’m here. Don’t you think for a second that I wasn’t hurting too.” I finish and Calum walks out of the bathroom and with that I walk back upstairs. “The fuck did you say to her?” Calums questions. “Just that I didn’t want her to hurt you again.” Luke replied. Calum clenches his jaw and just says “Stay out of it.” After that, silence fills the kitchen. 

Eventually they all left to go to the gym to train. Calum had another match tomorrow. Ashton was having a mini get together with Olivia and the boys and he invited me. Dinner, some drinks. “Lydia please come.” Olivia begged. “So Luke can humiliate me in front of everyone again? no thanks I'll sit this one out.” I pleaded. “Calum told him to stay out of it. He won’t try anything. I promise.” Calum did what? Why would he defend me? I eventually considered it and decided to go. 

We walked in and I'm greeted by Ashton and Michael. Luke is on the couch and Calum is outside having a smoke. I decided to go into the kitchen and get a drink. After all, I’m gonna need it tonight. 

“You haven’t changed at all have you?” I’m greeted by Calums raspy voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I look at him in question. “You still drink that shit?” He says chuckling. “I rarely drink but if I see this in someone’s fridge I’m bound to take it.” I reply back. He walks over to me. “Sorry bout Luke earlier. He shouldn’t have said that.” he said sincerely. “He’s looking out for you. I deserved it anyway.” I mutter. “Listen I know it was a tough choice for you to make. You were hurting too. You didn’t deserve it.” he said. Why is he looking out for me? I hurt him. I fucked up bad. I broke his heart and it was my fault. “Why are you talking to me? Why don’t you hate me after what I did? I fucked up majorly and yet you still associate with me.” I said to him. “I couldn’t hate you even if I tried. What you did… fucking hurt.” he paused  but “I know I wasn’t the only one hurting. Your sister told me a little bit after you left.” he replied to me. I stayed silent. “Do you regret it?” He questions. Yes. “More than anything in the world.” I reply honestly. “Can I ask you one more thing?” His jaw clenched. I nod. “Would you have stayed if I quit?” he asks. I think about it for a second. “I would’ve never asked you too but yes, I would’ve. I wish I never fucking left.” and with that I get up and move to find Olivia. I wanted to go home. 

“Can we leave please? I’m getting overwhelmed.” I ask her once I find her. “Lyd I drank I can't drive.” she says to me. “I will.” I hear from behind me. I turned around to see calum standing  there with his hands in his front pockets. “I haven’t drank.” he mutters softly. “o-okay” i stutter. We walk to the car and start driving. It was almost completely silent. “Are you fighting anyone good tomorrow?” I asked. “Nah. Just an amateur. probably will just be a 3 minute match.” he replied. I hummed. “Are you coming?” He asks. I see hope in his eyes. “Do you want me too?” I ask back. “I always said you were my good luck charm.” With that he smiles a little and I feel my cheeks go red. “I’ll go. Only if you want me too” I reply. “I do.” Before we knew it, I was at my apartment. “Thanks for the ride.” I say. “Course. See ya around.” He replied. I simply smile and nod. He waits until I’m in before he leaves.

 Tonight was eventful. I go take out my contacts and get ready for bed. Right before I turned out the light my phone buzzed.

Calum

Thanks for your honesty. See you tomorrow.

Wow. Do I even respond? 

Lydia

Thanks for hearing me out. See you then. 

With that I just went to bed. I don’t want to fall for him again. I can’t, fall for him again. I don’t want to experience the pain I felt again. I don’t want to be terrified of him doing something he loves. He said he’d quit for me but how can I ask him to do that? I don’t want to feel then pain but I miss the love. I miss the feeling of being in his arms. I miss the feeling of waking up next to him. I miss hearing the ‘I love you’s” before and after every match. 

I miss the feeling of being loved. 

                                                 ******

“Wake the fuck up Lydia.” Olivia yells in my face. I jolt awake “What? What do you want?” I ask. “Get ready we’re going to breakfast. Well, lunch now because you took forever to wake up.” She exclaims. “Number one, what time is it? Number two, with who?” I ask groggily. Please don’t say Calum. Please don’t say Calum i think to myself. “It’s 11:00am and Ash and Cal.” Of course. “Is this some weird way of saying we’re going on a double date because I don’t think I’m ready for tha-” She cuts me off. “No it’s not. It’s me saying you two are gonna fix whatever your problems are so it’s not weird to hang out together.” “He asked me to go to his match tonight. I think we’re doing just fine.” “Look at that. Progress. Now get ready. Ashton is picking us up in 30 minutes.” “I hate you.” I mutter and throw a pillow at her as she walks out. 

I get up and quickly get ready. Ashton pulls up and we get in the car. Of course Calum is in the back seat with me. “Good Morning” Ashton exclaims. I just say it back quietly and crawl in the back. “What’s her problem?” Ashton asks gesturing toward me. “I woke her up and she wasn’t happy.” Olivia explains and he just nods and kisses her. I sit in the back with Calum. “Good morning!” He says to me. Someones offly cheery today. “Good morning.” I say back. “How’d you sleep?” He asked. Shitty. “Couldn’t get my mind to settle so I didn’t really sleep.” I say back. He looks at me with a look that’s hard to read. “M sorry. Any reason in particular?” You, I wanted to say. “Everything.” I say back shrugging. “How did you sleep?” I ask. “Couldn’t get comfy. Bruises all over from my fight with Damon.” He replied. “I bet. It was a gnarly fight.” I reply. “Yeah but I feel better knowing that he looks much worse.” He chuckles. I laugh and the car is filled with silence other than the radio. It’s a comfortable silence surprisingly.  

We get to the restaurant and sit down. Olivia is next to Ashton and I’m next to Calum. I swear Olivia does this on purpose. Calum and I used to come here together all of the time. “What are you guys getting?” Ashton asks. “I’m getting the-” I start but before I can finish Calum steps in with, “The belgian waffles with strawberries on it and on the side.” “You remember.” I say to him. “How can I forget? We used to come here twice a week.” He said looking into my eyes. Olivia and Ashton just watch the interaction in silence. Soon the waitress comes over and takes our order. The table is filled with small talk. “So Lydia how’s college been?” Ashton asks and Olivia and Calum just look at me. “Um it’s okay.” I reply not wanting to elaborate on the subject. Olivia gives Ash a look and all of the sudden I feel coldness on my thigh. I look down and see Calums ringed fingers on my leg. I feel my breath hitch in my throat. I look at him and he gives me a reassuring look. After that Olivia asks “Calum are you ready for your fight tonight?” “Yeah. Shouldn’t be too hard.” He replied taking his hand off of my thigh. Our food comes and we all eat. Surprisingly this wasn’t that bad. We were eating and things were going fine until ashton gets a call. “Hello? I’m kinda busy right now what’s up?” He said into the phone. “What? Luke slow down. What happened?” We all look at Ashton in concern. “He wants a rematch? For what? Cal won fair and square.” I look at Calum concerningly and he has a blank look on his face. “Okay give me a few we’ll be there. I’m with the girls.” 

Ashton hung up and Olivia asks, “What’s going on?” “Damon wants a rematch. He came to the gym and basically ambushed Luke and Michael.” “Are they okay?” I ask. “Yeah they’re fine. He threatened them and-” It was Calums turn to speak. “Threatened who?” 

“He threatened Lydia.” 

The world stopped spinning. Me. Why me? They all stare at me. “I’m gonna kill him.” Calum muttered as his jaw clenched. “Why me?” I ask quietly looking at my hands. “He saw you there that night and he heard us talking to you. He figured you were close to Cal. Lydia I’m so sorry.” Ashton explains. Calum just looks at me. He doesn’t know what to say but neither do I. We pay and leave and go to the gym. 

We’re in the car and Calum grabs my hand reassuringly, “He won’t touch you. I won’t let him.” I look into his eyes. Why me? I just came home. I didn’t ask for this. I just look into his eyes and softly nod. 

We arrived at the gym to be greeted by Luke and Michael. “Tell me exactly what happened.” Calum demands. “H-he stormed in here and demanded to see you or Ash but when I told him you weren’t here he got pissed. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and demanded a rematch and that if he doesn’t get it he’s gonna-” He stopped and looked at me worriedly, “He’s gonna what Luke?” Calum yelled. “He’s gonna find L-Lydia.” Calums jaw clenched. Olivia just grabs onto me and hugs me. I stare blankly. Calum looks at me softly “From now on, you don’t travel alone okay? You stay with one of us.” I just look at him and nod. “He wants a rematch? I’ll give him a fucking rematch.” Calum mutters and storms into the locker rooms. They all look at me like I’m about to break. “Are you okay Lydia?” Olivia asks. Am I? I mean, I just got told a big scary man is after me just because he wants to fight my ex-boyfriend. “I don’t know.” that's all I can say right now. “I’m gonna go check on Calum.” Luke says and goes to the locker room. “He’s probably gonna come to his fight tonight.” Ashton mutters to us. “Calum asked me to be here tonight.” I tell him. “I don’t know if he’ll want you here now.”  “He won’t want her alone.” Olivia mutters. 

Calum and Luke walk out. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Calum asks me. “Yeah.” We walk over to the other side of the ring. “I’m so sorry this is happening.” He says refusing to look me in the eye. “It’s not your fault.” I say back. “It is though.” “No it’s not Cal. You didn’t ask for that to happen. You didn’t know it would.” Cal. I haven’t called him that yet since I’ve been back and I think he noticed. He looked up at that. “I won’t let him hurt you.” He says to me. “I know. I trust you.” I paused. “Ashton said something that he might be here for your match tonight. I don’t know If you still want me he-” he cuts me off “I’d rather you here than home by yourself.” He said. “I figured. I just wanted to make sure.” I said to him. “I need to get training. I’ll see you around okay? Please don’t go anywhere alone. I- I don’t know what he’s capable of.” He said worriedly. “I won’t.” He said something under his breath but i heard him anyway, “I’m not losing you again.” 

And with that, he stalked off to train and Ashton took Olivia and I home. The car ride back was silent. It was deafening. He walked us in and I locked myself in my room. 

I just left college to give my head a break and now this happens. I’m being stalked because some guy wants to fight Calum. Why me? I left to escape this. Calum has fought some pretty rough guys but they never went to the extent of this. They never threatened anyone outside the ring, let alone me, someone he hasn’t spoken too in a year. 

                                           ********

After a while I hear a knock on the door, “Hey Lyd, we have to get ready to go.” Olivia says as she peeks her head in. I nod and get up. I walk downstairs and I’m greeted by Ash. “Hey we have to go now. Calums already there but I need to be there soon. He doesn’t want you guys going alone.” We just nod in response and go to the car.

Once we get there I see Calum in the ring training. He glances at me and nods. I returned the gesture and continue to watch him. Luke was certainly right. He has improved. I mean, he had quite the motivation.

 Soon it’s time for the fight and he’s about to go on. He comes over to us and asks Luke, “Has anyone seen him?” He shakes his head. “We have people looking everywhere and there’s no sign of him anywhere.” Luke say and Calum just nods. I don’t even know what he wanted the answer to be. He’s about to go on but I stop him, “Good luck.” I say with a soft smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a few okay? You’ll be okay.” He says before he walks into the ring. I wasn’t sure if he was referring to going into the ring or the crazy man that was currently after me. I just nod in response. 

The fight began and he was right. It was only 5 minutes, if that. He came off. “Well that was easy.” He said to Ashton. “Nonetheless you still did good,” Luke says. Calum was about to say something until he was stopped.

“Gotta say Hood, nice fight. Too bad he was an amateur.” Damon Banks says.

Calum grabs my arms pushed me behind him. “What are you doing here Banks?” He says with a clenched jaw. “Relax. You don’t have to play guard dog right now. I’m just stopping in to make sure your friend relayed the message.” He replied. “Yeah we got it. Leave.” Ashton said. “5 days Hood. You have 5 days.” Damon said and walked off. Calums first instinct was to turn to me, “Are you okay?” “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I ask him. “‘M fine. Stay here with Ashton. I’m gonna go get ready and then I’ll take you home.” I just nod. “Where are you guys going?” “I’m staying at his place tonight.” Olivia says. “But I can’t be alone.” I reply. “Shit that’s right. Calum and I can stay at your place then?” Ash asks Olivia who looks at me. I’d feel safer with them there anyway. “Yeah whatever.” I mutter to them. Calum comes back out and Ashton fills him in about what's happening. He just nods and looks to me, “You ready?” I mutter a quick yes and we go to his car.

We get situated in the car. “Thank you for coming tonight. I know it brings back unwanted memories.” “Cal-” “No I mean it. I'm glad you came.” He said sincerely. “I’m glad I came.” I say. Was I? “You sure?” “I mean yeah. Beats sitting at home alone and paranoid.” I say as he chuckles. “I’m so sorry about everything happening Lydia. I know it’s scary but just know I won’t let him hurt you.” He said as he grabbed my hand. His touch sent me back. I missed this feeling. “I trust you Cal.” I say before realizing the name again. “Cal huh?” He questions and my face goes red. “I- Uh” “It’s okay. I missed hearing you say that.” I laugh and try to hide my face. We soon get to my house and I unlock the door. “If you need to use the bathroom its the-” “Third door on the right. I remember.” “Course you do.” He goes up and gets ready for bed. 

Soon Olivia and Ashton walk in with dinner for us all. “I got you chicken. Your sister said you’d eat it.” Ashton said to me. “Thanks Ash but I’m not really hungry.” I have no appetite. Too much worry and paranoia. I hear footsteps behind me and I jump. “Easy there doll. It’s just me. Have you eaten since this morning?” Calum asks. Did I? No. I didn’t. I barely even ate that. “No I don’t think so.” “Please eat Lyd.” Olivia pleads. “‘M not hungry.” I reply. Calum sits down next to me and grabs my hand, “Why doll?” I wanna smile at the pet name. “I just don’t have an appetite.” “She doesn’t eat when she’s nervous.” Olivia steps in. Calums thumb draws circles around my hand. He looks into my eyes pleadingly. “Please don’t be scared. He won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” He said, “Now please eat.” He finishes as he passes my food to me. I eat and feel a lot better. Funny how that works out.

We all sit down and eat and forget our problems. We all just talk and hangout. I missed this a lot. Eventually we all decide to go to bed. Ashton and Olivia go up and sleep in Olivia’s room. Calum went in our guest room and I went to my room. I try my hardest to go to sleep but I kept tossing and turning. I start to relax and let sleep take over me.

“.....What’s happening? Why isn’t he moving?” I yell at Ashton.

Calum was in his third round with Damon Banks. He was down and he wasn’t moving. I kept asking what was wrong but no one would answer. 

“Ashton what’s wrong?” I kept asking. 

The paramedic went in the room and tried to take his pulse. There was nothing there. “He’s unresponsive.” The paramedic said. “Well do something!” “I can’t. It’s too late.” He replied. 

“What do you mean it’s too late?” Ashton yells. “He can’t be gone he has a girlfriend and friends and a family, he can’t be gone!” 

The other paramedic says, Calum Hood death time 9:08pm. 

He was gone. My Calum was gone. The world stopped spinning. I couldn’t breathe. He was gone. Dead.

I woke up sobbing. What time is it? I grabbed my phone. 2:18am. Fuck. I can’t breathe. I can’t be alone right now. I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do. What do I do? Do I go get Olivia? She’s with Ashton.

Calum. 

I find myself walking to our guest room and open the door. “Calum?” He stirs awake. “Lydia? What’s wrong?” “This was stupid. Just go back to bed. Goodnight.” I turn to leave. This was stupid. “No no come sit.” “Are you sure?” “Yes Lydia. Come here.” I comply and sit down. “Is everything okay?” He asks tiredly. “No.” I paused. “I just had really fucking scary dream.” I say trying to hide my tears. I think he picked up on it because he pulled me into his chest. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Do I? Should I? “Um well, you had your rematch a-and Damon knocked you down and-” My breath hitches, “And you didn’t get back up.” He understood what I meant and just held me tighter. He kissed the top of my head. “I-I don’t wanna lose you again Cal. I can’t.” “You won’t, love. I promise you won't”. ''I’m sorry for waking you.” I said sincerely. “I’d rather you wake me then have to be alone.” He replied. “Do you wanna stay in here?” He asks. “No no it’s okay I’ve bothered you enough-” “Lydia.” He says sternly. “Okay yes.” We lay down and I get comfy. “Goodnight Lydia.” “Goodnight Cal.” He snakes his arm around my waist and kisses my shoulder. I fucking did it again. 

I fell for Calum.  

                                           **********

I woke up before him. I needed to pee but Calum's arm was still around me. I try to move but Calum groans and pulls me back. “Cal, I have to pee.” He just groans and sets me free. I chuckle at him and get up. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth.  I go back to see him scrolling through his phone. “Good morning sunshine.” I say sarcastically. “It was until you got up.” He mutters. I crawl back into bed to face him. “Did you sleep any better?” He asked. If we’re being honest, it was the best sleep I’ve gotten in the past few weeks. “Much better. Thank you for last night.” I thank him and he just says “Of course. Come to me whenever.” I just smile and nod. I hear someone else wake  up, “Welp I guess that’s my cue.” I say as I start to get up before his big hands pulls me back. “No. Just stay here.” “Cal we can’t. If I do recall, you have a big match to train for in 4 days.” “Don’t remind me.” He says as he stuck his head in the crook of my neck. “Come on.” I say as he complies “Ugh fine.” I didn’t even realize he was shirtless. The only thing he had on was a pair of grey sweats that hung low at his waist. I missed seeing him like that. 

I try my best to sneak into my room and go down stairs. Once I go down I see Olivia and Ashton making breakfast. “Good Morning! How’d you sleep?” Ash says to me “Amazing” I reply. “Glad to hear it.” Olivia replies for him. “Lyd can I speak to you for a second?” Olivia says. I nod and we go into the living room. “Ash may not have caught you but I certainly did. Care to explain why you slept in the guest room with Calum?” Fuck. “I couldn’t sleep. I had a scary ass dream and I would always go to him before when it happened. So I don’t know I went to him and he calmed me down and then I kinda just fell asleep.” I say honestly. “Are you two like, a thing again?” She asks. Are we? Well no not officially but we’re more than friends. Right? I mean we did sleep together last night. “No.” I start but she gives me a look. “I don’t know” I say getting flustered. “It’s complicated.” “Do you still love him?” Yes. “Yes of course. I always will but now is not the time. I just got him back Liv. I don’t want to drive him away.” I say back. “Lyd, he looks at you like you’re the last person left on earth. I don’t think there’s a better time.” She says as she walks off. God I don’t want to ruin it again. 

Calum comes down stairs and sits down next to me. “Calum, we have to train all day today. You need to be ready.” Ashton said. He just groans and puts his head on the table. “Yeah yeah I figured.” He replied back tiredly. “How’d you sleep?” Ashton asked. “Can’t complain.” He replied and looked at me briefly. I try my best to hide my red cheeks. He’s gonna be the death of me. “What’s the plan for today?” I asked Olivia. “I have to run a few errands so that means you’re coming along.” She said to me. “Lovely.” We finish breakfast and they go on their merry way. 

                                       *************

Olivia ran all of her errands and we decided to stop in to see Ash and Cal at the end of the day. “What’s up fuckers?” Olivia yells as she walks into the gym. Calum and Ashton turn around. “You’re still going at it? It’s been 8 hours.” She continued. “Liv did you see who he’s fighting?” I chuckle and Ash nods his head in agreement. “We were just finishing up anyway.” Calum says. “I’m gonna go clean up.” He said as he left. “Is he okay?” I ask. “He’s stressed. His body is worn down. He’s bruised. He’s terrified of you getting hurt.” Ash said gesturing to me. “He hates this all.” He finished. I don’t want him to have to worry about me. He needs to focus.

After a little while, Calum walks back out with his stuff. “You ready?” he asks Ashton. Ashton simply nods. Cal walks up to me and just kisses the top of my head. “I’ll see you around.” Olivia and Ashton smile at the gesture. Olivia and I walk to the car and start to head home. 

I’m lost in my thoughts. Why is he being so confusing? I keep thinking before I’m brought out of my thoughts by Liv “Shit Lyd, I need to run to the store and get tampons.” “Okay. I’ll stay in the car. ‘M tired.” I reply. We park and she goes in I keep thinking to myself. Will he make it out okay? Will I make it out okay? I’ve never been more terrified of the unknown and I don’t know what to do. 

After 20 minutes I start to get concerned so I get out to go to the store. I’m walking in before I heard,

“You’d think Hood would know better than to leave his girl alone.” 

Damon Banks. 

No fucking way this is happening right now. “How’d you find me?” 

“I saw you and your sister pull out of the gym. Where is she by the way?” He asks. “What do you want from me?” I ask. He just walks closer to me as I walk back. We go so far back that I bump into the car. He grabs onto my wrists tightly. “Just tryin to send your boyfriend a message.” My wrists hurt. He won’t let go. “You’ve sent one loud and clear. Now please let me go.” I plead but he won’t stop. Tears are brimming my eyes. Where is my fucking sister? “Y-you’re hurting me please.” I try but he just looks coldly into my eyes. “Tell him I’m looking forward to our match. And this time I'll make sure he doesn't walk out alive.” He says as he finally releases. My sister finally walks out and sees him standing over me. “Lydia?” She yells. “Your sisters coming.” He said “A little too late don’t ya think?” He said to her. “Damon.” She says as her face falls to my tear filled one. “I’m just leaving.” He looks back at me “Nice talkin to ya.” 

“Go to hell.” I say through gritted teeth. 

Olivia runs over to me and hugs me. I stand still. “Can we go please?” “Y-yeah of course.” We get in the car. “I’m so sorry Lydia. I didn’t mean to take so long. I couldn’t find them because they rearranged the store and then they weren’t on the shelf-” “It’s fine just drive.” I say. “No it’s not fine Lydia.” She sees me holding one to my wrists. “Did he hurt you?” She says as she grabs my wrist inspecting the bruises. “How hard did he grab you?” she asks concerningly. I just look down. “We have to call the boys.” She says. “No.” “No? Damon just assaulted you and you don't want to tell them?” “No I don’t want them to worry more.” “I’m sorry but I’m calling Calum.” “Liv please-” I try but it’s too late. She puts it on speaker 

“Olivia? What’s up? Is everything okay?” I hear over the phone.

“Well no not really. It’s about Lydia.” 

“What happened?” I hear with concern lacing his voice.

“Damon happened.” she said. “Come over to my house please. Like now.” 

                                            *************

Calum was seeing red. “Where is she?” He yelled as he walked in. Liv points to the living room. He walks in, no. Runs in to see me sitting on the couch crying trying to cover my bruises. The sight has to be heartbreaking. The man who wants him dead hurt the one thing that mattered most to him. He comes over and sits down next to me. He grabs my cheeks with his calloused hands. “I need you to tell me what happened.” He starts. 

“L-liv had to go to the store and I stayed in the car but she was taking too long so I got out and” I hiccuped “and he was waiting by the store and he stopped me. H-he backed me up into the car and gripped onto my wrists. He said he was sending a message. That he’s gonna make sure that-” I hiccup again. “That you’re not gonna come out alive.” My biggest nightmare. He takes it all in and grabs my hands but I yanked them away. It hurt. He grabs them again more gently and inspects the bruises. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He says to me as he stands up. He has no expression on his face.  “Calum please don’t. I don’t know what he’ll do to you.” I beg. “Are you kidding me Lydia? You could’ve been severely hurt. You think your wrists are bad? If your sister didn’t come out when she did, he could’ve done so much worse.” He yells. “Please don’t yell at me.” I plead. “I’m sorry but look at you right now. If he would’ve hurt you more I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m supposed to protect you. I promised I’d keep you safe. And here we are.” With that my sister walks in, “Calum.” She says, “And you. You weren’t there. Your sister has big fucking bruises from this man that wants me dead and you weren’t there.” He yells. “Mate please.” Ash says. “Don’t do that mate bullshit right now. How are you not mad?” He yells again. “I’m furious Cal. But I don’t want you to go do something stupid.” Ash says to him. “I can’t believe you right now.” Calum says as he stalks toward the door. “Where are you going?” Ashton asks. “Out.” “Calum please.” I beg. He just looks at me and walks out. “I don’t want him to get hurt.” I cry. “He’ll be fine. He just needs some air. He’s gonna beat himself up over this.” Ashton said to me trying to make me feel  better. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? 

After a while Ashton and Olivia went up to her room. I can’t sleep knowing that Cal is out there. I wait in the living room praying that he walks in. 

I’m sitting watching TV when suddenly the door swings open. Calum stands there with tears in his eyes and a bruised face and bloody hands. “Calum? What happened?” I say running to him. I go to grab his face to inspect it but he looks away. “Calum.” I say and he complies. He looks at me and I see the pain. I see the hurt flash in his eyes. With that, I hug him. I hugged him so tightly, afraid he was gonna slip away at any minute. I released after a little but and just ask 

“W-what happened?”

 “Well I found Damon. Roughed him up a little bit. He pulled out a knife but I knocked it out of his hands before he could do anything with it.” He said refusing to look at me. I grabbed his hands and see how bloody they are. “That’s what happens when I fight with rings on.” He says as I nod. “Are you okay?” He asks me. “Are you?” I ask back. “I will be when this stupid match is over.” He replies. “Come on. I’m cleaning you up.” I say to him and drag him to my bathroom. “Lyd you don’t have to-” “Yes I do. Now come on.” I say grabbing his bloody hand. 

I pat the countertop and tell him to sit. “Been a minute since I’ve done this.” I say as he chuckled. I get the cotton pads and disinfectant and bring it out. I start by taking off his rings. I can feel his eyes burning into me as I’m cleaning his hands. I then move on to his face and clean off the dried blood. He watches my every move and suddenly I get self-conscious. I feel like we haven’t been this close in a while. Once I’m finished with that I just look at him. “Are there any more hidden marks?” I ask as he lifts his shirt to reveal a huge gash on his side. I gasp, “Calum I thought you said he didn’t get you with the knife.” “He didn’t. Those were from his rings.” He holds his shirt up so I can clean it, “C-can you take this off? It’s easier.” I ask as he just obeys and flings it over his head.  I clean it up and start to put the stuff away. He stands up and as I turn around I find him right there. “I’m so fucking sorry Lydia. I promised you this wouldn't happen.” “Please don’t blame yourself.” I beg. “This was not your fault.” I say as I finish picking up my stuff. “W-will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask him. “Of course.” he says no questions asked. 

I start to walk out of the bathroom before his hand grabs my arm and he pulls me into him. Our noses are touching and he just looks into my eyes. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine. This kiss was filled with love and passion. It was a feeling we were both longing for. It felt like in this moment, time stopped. 

“I should’ve done that a lot sooner.” Calum says out of breath but he’s still holding on to me. 

“I’m never letting you go again. Not now. Not ever.” He said. 

With that I stand on the tip of my toes and kiss him again. “I’ve missed this so much.” I say. “You have no clue darling.” He replied.

After all of tonight's events, this is when I felt most whole. I loved Calum. With everything in me. I always will. We went to bed and he held me as I fell asleep. I rolled over to face him. He kissed my forehead and I placed my head under his chin. As I’m falling asleep I hear a faint whisper. I barely even caught it, 

“I love you so fucking much.” 

                                                  **********

I wake up right where I want to be. 

With Calum. 

Our legs are entangled together and his strong arms hold me tightly against his chest. This is bliss. I thought I'd never find this feeling ever again. My eyes slowly shutter open to see he’s still sleeping. I kiss the tip of his nose and he just smiles. “Good Morning love.” His raspy morning voice whispers. “Good Morning.” I smile back. “How are you feeling?” I ask him. “Sore but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.” He says with worried eyes. “How are you feeling?” He asks, “Honestly terrified to leave my own house. My wrists are sore and those bruises aren’t going anywhere anytime soon but other than that I’m fantastic.” I mutter. He lets out a soft chuckle. “What time is it?” he asks. I roll over and check. “It’s 9:09” “I have to get up soon. Another full day of training.” “Cal, you’re hurt. I don’t want you to wear yourself down before the big day bub.” He smiles at the name, “I know doll but I need to be ready.” He says. “I’m not saying not train at all,  but maybe not the entire day?” I suggest. I know how he used to get when he trained all day and all night. He’d come home stressed and worn down. He has a big fight he needs to be alert for and training on top of all his injuries is going to make it worse. “If you want, I can talk to Ash.” I say. “I got it love. I should probably apologize to him anyway.” He said. “Last night, I was an asshole-” “You were worried. There’s a difference.” He nods and kisses the top of my head. I loved when he did that stuff. A little but sweet gesture. 

Eventually we roll out of bed and motivate. I’m greeted by Olvia and Ashton in the kitchen. Calum is still in the bathroom upstairs. “Did he come here last night?” Ash asks, concern lacing his voice. “Yes he’s upstairs and I’m gonna tell you something and you have to promise me you won’t lash out at him.” “Lydia-” “Promise me Ashton. Please.” I almost beg. He relents and nods. “So he came back around 2am with bruises and blood everywhere. He found Damon and ‘roughed him up a bit’. Apparently Damon pulled out a knife but Cal got rid of it before anything happened. I took care of him and cleaned him up. He had blood all over his hands. Not even 100% sure if it was his. Bruises and cuts on his face and a big gash on his side. I cleaned it. He’s better now but he’s sore. He feels awful. Please don’t freak out on him. It’ll only make it worse.” I finish my speech and he just stands there silently. “Thank you for taking care of him last night.” Is the first thing he says. “Of course. Anytime.” I say sincerely. “Can I ask you something?” He asks me. “Yeah of course.” “Are you two like, back together?” I think about it. “We kissed. That’s it. I don’t know what he’s feeling but whatever he wants to do. I left him so I understand if he doesn’t want to get back together. If he does, that’s great too and I’ll say yes. It’s up to him.” I say. “I asked because he never stops talking about you. I think he wants to get back together but I don’t know if he’ll come out and say it.” I nod and then Calum comes down stairs. He refuses to look anyone in the eye. He slowly walks over next to me at the table and sits. I grab his hand and rub it reassuringly. “I’m so sorry Ash.” Calum weaps as I glare at Ashton. “Hey hey it’s okay. You were worried. I’m not mad.” “Y-you’re not?” Calum says finally looking up. “No bud. It happens. He threatened your girl so you were upset. If that happened to Liv, i’d go apeshit.” Ashton said. 

Your girl. 

His girl. 

Calum looks at me with sympathy in his eyes and grips my hand. “Thank you.” He says to Ashton. Ash just nods. “When are we training today?” Calums frail voice asks. “I have a lot to do today so we’re probably only training a couple hours.” Calums eyes lit up with that one. “Okay” he mutters quickly. I can tell he’s embarrassed over everything that happened in the last 24 hours. “C-can Lydia come?” He asks shyly. “I want to be with her in case Damon tries something again.” He finishes. Ash looks at me for approval and I just nod my head. “Sure Cal.” “Is that okay with you?” Calum asks me. “Yeah bub of course.” I say and nod my head. He smiles back at me. 

After a little while we all get ready to go to the gym. We file into the car and I sit in the back with Calum. He grabs my hand and rubs circles on it with his thumb. The little gestures like that make my heart melt. The car ride is pretty silent. We pull in to the gym and walk in. “Hey I’m gonna go get ready. You can sit over there and watch if you’d like.” He said. “I get to watch you train? Today must be my lucky day.” I say sarcastically. “Oh hush.” He says and starts to walk off. I turn around but suddenly I’m whipped back around and before I know it, his lips are on mine. I feel myself smile into the kiss. “Okay I’m gonna go now.” He says before giving me another quick kiss.

He’s done it again. I’ve fallen in love with him all over again.

He trains and I watch. I love watching him lose himself in the ring. It’s just scary because I don’t want him to get hurt. I know that in a few days, someone is going to walk out of that ring extremely hurt and I just pray it’s not him. 

He finishes up and walks over to me. “Hey love.” He says leaning in for a hug and I stop him, “I will give you the biggest hug after you wipe all of the sweat off of you.” I say chuckling. He laughs and hugs me anyway. “What did I say?” I question, “Oh hush.” I relent and wrap my arms around him. God I missed this. “I’m gonna go clean up and then we can hit the road.” He says as he kisses my cheeks and walks off to the locker room. Olivia walks over to me. “Not together my ass.” “He hasn’t said anything about it. Should I bring it up?” “Well Ashton is taking me out tonight so you two have the house to yourselves.” She says. “I mean that is if he stays with you but I think we both know he will.” She finishes. I think about it for a second. Should I ask him or is it too early?

Soon he comes out and asks if I’m ready. “Hey will you stay over with me for a while? Ash is taking out Liv and I don’t want to be alone.” I ask. “I already planned on it love.” I smile at him endearingly. He drives to my house and the car is just filled with small talk. No awkwardness. No tension. 

We arrive at my house and drop our stuff in the living. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” I say to him. “I could eat.” He chuckles. We go into the kitchen and I open the pantry. “All I have to make is pasta. I hope that’s okay.” I say to him. “That’s perfect doll. I’m gonna go freshen up. I’ll be right back.” He says as he marches upstairs and I start to make the food. 

After a little while, I realize he’s taking a bit. “Cal?” I call for him but no response.That’s odd. I thought he was just freshening up. I walk up stairs and go to the bathroom. “Cal? Are you okay?” I ask as I knock. “Y-yeah I’m fine.” He stutters. “Can I come in?” I ask carefully. I hear the door unlock and I take that as the okay to walk in. I walk in to see his tear stained face. “Cal. Baby what’s wrong?” I ask grabbing his cheeks. “I-I’m terrified Lydia. I so scared he’s gonna hurt you or I’m not gonna come out of that ring.” He says through tears. “Hey hey look at me.” I say. “I’m gonna be okay-” “I couldn’t even protect you from him the other day.” “How were you supposed to know that would happen? You can’t. I didn’t expect it. As far as you, you’re gonna go in that ring and you’re gonna knock his ass down and show him not to mess with Calum Hood. You have so many people in your corner Cal. You have Luke, Mike, Liv, Ash. You have me. I’ll be there every step of the way if you let me.” I finish as I lead him to my room to sit on my bed. I grab a tissue and wipe his face. 

God I regret leaving him. It was truly the worst decision I have ever made. I’ll never stop loving him. I never have and I never will. “What’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?” he asks finally calming down. 

“How the worst choice I ever made, in my entire life, was leaving you.” 

“Lyd-” 

“No let me finish. I will kick myself for leaving you for the rest of my life. You were the best thing I had going for me. I went to college, hoping to escape but I was miserable without you. I didn’t come back to win you back. I didn’t even want to go to the match that night because it wasn’t fair to you. If I had just fucking sucked it up and watched you box and supported you with it, I wouldn’t have lost you.” I pause. “I’m so fucking stupid for letting you go and I will never forgive myself for it.” 

Silence fills the room. 

“Okay now you’re gonna let me speak. You left because you thought you were doing the right thing and I can’t blame you for that. I know it was hard for you to watch me get my ass beat by men twice my size every night. I know that I wasn’t the only one in pain when you sat me down on the counter to fix my wounds twice a week. You leaving, felt worse than any other punch I would receive, but I was never resentful. When you came back, I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing out bad thing. Now I know, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

I look up with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 

“What you did fucked me up. It took a minute to heal but it gave me the motivation to become stronger. I’m able to beat people like Damon. This fight on Friday, is going to be the hardest fight I’ve ever faced. Not just because of who I’m fighting. It’s who I’m fighting for.” he paused. “I’m finally learning to fight for what I love.” 

Love. There's that word again. 

“I love you so much Lydia. I never stopped.”  

He loves me. Calum loves me. 

I had no words. The only thing that came to mind for me was to grab his face and kiss him. This kiss was different than the last. This one was full of love and passion. “I love you so much Calum. I always will.” I say and then reconnect our lips. “I’m never letting you go ever again. Never fucking again.” Calum said through kisses. We break away and just look at each other, I take in his beauty. 

“I love you but I need to make sure the house isn't on fire from the pasta.” I mutter. “Oh shit I forgot about the pasta.” He chuckles. We get off my bed and run down stairs and see the house is still standing and the pasta isn’t burnt. As I was stirring, I felt Calums strong arms wrap around my waist. This is the shit I live for. He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck and I just giggle. He’s the only person that can give me butterflies. He releases and presses a quick kiss to my cheek. I finish the pasta and get it ready for him. We sit down and eat and he fills me in of all I’ve missed while I was gone. I ask about his family. They don’t really speak to him because they don’t agree with the boxing. Their loss. 

Eventually, Olivia and Ashton come home to see us cuddling on the couch. “How was your date?” I ask nonchalantly. “It was good… What did I miss here?” Ashton asks looking at us questioningly. “Well, we made pasta.” I say and then turn to Calum. “That’s all you did?” Liv asks heading for the stairs. “I mean, we also confessed our love for each other.” Calum adds like it’s nothing and then kisses the top of my head. “Huh figured.” Ashton says. “Cal do you want to stay here or go back to the apartment?” Ashton asks. Calum just looks at me and I nod to him. He knows what I’m implying. “I don’t want to leave her.” He says. “Liv looks like we’re staying here.” He yells to live. “Okay babe.” She yells back. 

Tonight a new love was formed out of an old one. Calum and I never stopped loving each other and we probably never will. He was my first real love. Sure, there have been others but they weren’t him. He makes me feel like I’m the only girl alive. He makes me feel things I thought I’d never feel. He makes me feel like I belong. After a little while, we headed back up to my room and get comfy in bed.

“Hey Lydia?” “Yeah babe?” 

“Whatever happens at this fight on friday, just know how much I love you. It’s gonna get ugly but I just need you to know you are my entire world. Okay? I love you Lydia. More than anything. I just got you back and I don’t plan on losing you anytime soon.” He says to me. With that I kiss him passionately. “Calum I love you so much.” We hold each other like we’re too afraid to let go all night.

                                             **********

It was Wednesday. The fight is on Friday. Two days. I was starting to get nervous for him. I roll over to see he wasn’t there. Where is he? I check my phone and it’s 8:00am. After a little bit he comes in. “Good morning love! Did I wake you?” “No bub I just woke up.” He nods and crawls back into bed with me. “Why is that I sleep so much better with you by my side? No tossing and turning. No nightmares.” He chuckles. “I guess you’re just what I needed.” I mumble. He kisses the tip of my nose and cradles my body against him. “I take it you’re training all day.” I said to him. “Yup. Ash already texted me and told me we had catching up to do. I can come back over when it’s done.” “mmmm sounds good.” I mumble to him. “How are you feeling about Friday?” I asked hesitantly. “Honestly terrified. I just want it over with.” He says to me. I’ve never seen him so worked up about a fight.  “Soon enough babe.”I just want it to be over with for him. We spent another half hour just cuddling and talking about various topics. 

Eventually that was all over and he had to go training. I stayed at the apartment and cleaned up. After a while my phone started buzzing like crazy. Liv was calling.

“Hello?” 

“Lydia I have a problem.” 

“What kind of problem?” I ask wearily.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

The wind was knocked out of my lungs. 

“O-okay. Come to the apartment.” I say as she mutters a quick goodbye.

Soon she bursts through the door with a tear stained face. 

“Lydia what do I do? I’ve missed my period. I’m nauseous all the time.” She says through tears. “Hey hey calm down first and foremost. Have you taken a test?” she shakes her head. “Okay let's start there. Let’s go get-” I start to say as she pulls three out of her bag. “I didn’t want to do it alone.” She mutters. “Go take them and come back out.” She goes to take them as I finish up cleaning. 

She marches back out and sits on the couch. “Now we wait.” She says worriedly. “Listen. You were meant to be a mom. If they are positive, you have me and you’ll have Ash.” “I can’t do this to him. We’re young. His job is too dangerous for a kid-” “And he will figure it out. If I know one thing, he loves you more than life. He won’t run from you.” I reassure her. 

Enough time passes and we decide it’s time. “Do you want me to look?” I ask and she nods. I walk into the bathroom and prepare myself. 

Test 1: Positive

Okay thats just one. 

Test 2: Positive.  

Oh no.

Test 3: Positive. 

I was silent. Fuck. She’s gonna be a mom. I’m gonna be an aunt. Holy shit. 

“Well?” She asks. 

“Positive. All positive.” I say.

Her face fell. “What am I gonna do?” She asks. “You’re gonna do this the right way. Call him right now and tell him you need to talk and it’s important and have him and Cal come over after training.” She nods and calls him in the other room.

I’m excited and scared for her. She’s right. His job is dangerous. This weeks events are only a fraction of what can be involved. 

“He said okay. He sounds worried.” Liv says. 

My phone buzzed. 

Calum

Is everything okay?

“He must be because Cal just texted me.” 

Lydia

For me? Yes. For liv? Not so much. You’ll see when you come over. 

Liv and I spent the next hour talking about how she should break the news. The door swung open to reveal Ashtons worried face. Liv stands up. 

“We need to talk.” She starts with. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks. 

“No baby of course not.” She reassured. During this, Calum came over to greet me with a kiss. “What’s happening?” He asks. “Watch.” 

“Then what’s the matter?” Ashton asks as he grabs her hand to sit down. Calum sits on the recliner and motions for me to sit on his lap. I oblige and he holds me tightly. 

“Before I say anything just know I love you okay?” 

“You’re scaring me liv-”

“I’m pregnant.” She rips off the bandaid. Ashton and Calum's jaw dropped open. 

“H-how is that possible?” He asks. “We’re always careful.” He says. I try to find an expression but the only thing I see is fear. 

“Accidents happen Ash.” I step in. “How long have you known?” He asks. “I missed my period two days ago. I took the tests an hour ago.” She said calmly. 

“Thank you for telling me right away.” He starts. “We’ll figure this out love. I’m not leaving you if that’s why you’re worried.” He says. Both me and Liv let out a breath as he said that. 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He finishes with as he hugs and kisses her.

“I see why that was so urgent.” Calum mutters. “You think?” I chuckle. 

As I stand I say, “I don’t know about you but I’m hungry and she’s feeding two so what are y’all in the mood for?” 

“I could go for chinese.” Liv suggests. “Sounds good. Cal do you want to come with me to get it?” I ask. “Sure babe. Let me grab my stuff.” I wait for him and we walk to the car.

“How was training?” I ask him. “Long and rough. I’m sore but I’m getting more prepared.” He says. “I think I can really beat him Lydia.” “I know you can. You did once, you can do it again. I believe in you.”  The drive there was filled with small talk. We got to the restaurant and Cal ran in to pick it up. He came back out and started to drive back,

“Hey I was thinking about something.” He starts and I look at him. “I think that after this fight I’m gonna slow down a bit.” I ponder. “Please don’t do it because of me.” I say to him. “I mean it’s not completely about you. I’m sick of hurting everywhere and dedicating every second of my life to training. I’m tired of putting the people I love in danger.” He pauses, “And now that Liv is expecting, I think I should settle down.” He wasn’t wrong but It feels odd.

 “But Calum think of how you feel when you win a match. Think of how you feel knowing you won again. Knowing that bets people placed were wrong.”

“I thought you hated that I fought. Why are you trying to convince me to keep doing it?” He asks. “Because I know you. I know you’ll be upset if you stop.” “Yeah I will but I’ll get over it.” “That’s not the point Cal.” 

“Then what is?” He yells. 

“Why are you so mad?” I ask. 

“I thought you’d want me to quit. I mean that’s all you wanted right?” He asks testing me. 

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” I ask angrily. 

“Do you even love me?” He asks. 

“What- Of course I do.”

“Are you sure about that Lydia? Or do you plan on running again?” He says and I went silent. 

He really pulled that card. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now Calum?” His jaw clenches. “What? It happened before. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?” He spat at me.

We finally pulled in the driveway. “You know you’re a real fucking dick. Maybe I’m regretting getting back together. Clearly your intentions are all over the place.” I say as I march into the house without even listening to his response. “I’m gonna eat in my room.” I told Liv and Ash. As I take my food and go to my room. 

I thought it would be different. That we could have a clean slate. I guess I was wrong. I ate my food, cried, and went to sleep for the night. 

                                               ************

Of course it was back to the nightmares. I decided to clear my head so I went down to the kitchen to get water. I walk downstairs to see Calum on the couch. He’s awake. I try my best to ignore him. 

“Can we talk?” He asks. “Uhh nah. I’m apparently too busy running.” I spat back without looking him in the eye. “I’m being serious.” He says. “So am I.” 

It was silent for a minute. “Nightmares?” He asks and I just nod. “Thought you would’ve left.” I say to him. “Ashton and Liv went back to his place to talk about options. I’d never leave you alone.” He said. I rolled my eyes and got some water. He just stares at me. “What Cal? Don’t you think you’ve dug at me enough tonight?” I say to him refusing to look him in the eye. What he said hurt. Bad. “I’m not trying to argue with you Lydia.” He started, “I’m just scared.” 

“I’m not gonna leave you again Cal. I thought I made that clear.” I said, my face softening. “I know.” He said quickly. “I’m just insecure and clingy. I need constant reassurance and I-” I stop him. “Calum look at me.” He does and I grab the sides of his face. “The biggest mistake I ever made was leaving you. If you talked to my sister you know what shape I was in. I love you. More than life.” “I’m sorry I was a dick.” He says. I chuckle. “It’s okay.” And with that he kissed me. “I love you.” He says in between kisses. The kisses get deeper each time. He’s making a mess of my hair with his rough hands. He backs me up into the counter and I jump to sit on it. He pulls away for a second and smiles. “I love you.” He whispers before kissing me again. 

He grabs the bottom of my legs and carries me up to my room, refusing to break the kiss. Next thing I know he sets me on the bed and he’s over me. “We don’t have to go farther if you don’t want to.” He broke the kiss with. I kissed him back in response. “I want this.” I kissed him again. “I want you.” I said as he smiled back in response. “God I’ve missed you.” He said as he threw his shirt off. I took that moment to discard of my shirt. “I love you Calum.” I said as he kissed me. “I love you more.” 

And that night we proved just how much we loved each other. We’ve had sex before yes but never like that. This time, it was filled with passion and love. I missed him. I’m never letting someone like him slip through my fingers again.

                                              *************

One day until the dreaded fight. I woke up with a pit in my stomach. Cal was gonna be training all day. I woke up before him and just watched him sleep intently. I know this was hard on him. He would never show it but I know he’s so stressed. This fight could be what ends his career. I’m brought out of my thoughts by his raspy voice. “Are you staring?” He says. “I’m gazing.” I reply. “You’re pretty.” I finish. “Says you.” He replies with a blush. “Good morning love.” He says as he kissed me. “How’d you sleep?” I ask. “Decently actually. How about you?” “Better. No nightmares.” “Are they always the same?” He asks curiously. “Lately yes but usually they vary.” I answer honestly. Ever since I went to college, I had nightmares almost every night. My sleep schedule was fucked because of it. I wouldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours a night. When I came home, it got better but they never went away until I started sleeping next to Calum again.

“How are you feeling?” I ask and I think he knows what I’m implying. He just shrugs, “ I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to fight a man who wants me dead.” he starts, “But I’m as ready as I can be. I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in, I’ve got the best support system and I’m prepared. Ashton has been trying to teach me tricks and I’ve done practice fights with Luke and Mike.” He said. I nod to him.

“Do you want me there tomorrow?” I ask only because it’s appropriate. Yes I’m his girlfriend and I want to support him but the fight is going to be brutal. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” He said honestly. “It’s up to you. I’d love to see you there but if you’re not comfortable being there, ‘M not gonna force you.” He replied. I thought about it for a second. How can I not be there? This is the biggest fight of his career. “I’ll be there.” I said. “Are you sure? I don’t want to-” He starts but I cut him off with my finger. “I’ll be there.” I said into his eyes. “Okay.” He replies. We lay and cuddle for a little while until it was interrupted by his phone ringing. “It’s Ash.” He says confused. “What time is it?” I ponder. “Only 9. I don’t have to be to the gym until 11.” He says back.

“Yo what’s up?” He asks.

“Cal we’ve got an issue.” Ash says and my ear perks up. Cal sits and just said “Why what’s wrong?”

“Damon just stormed into the gym and spoke to Luke. He’s moving the fight.”

“What? To when?”

“Tonight.”

My eyes widen as Calum just stays silent. “I’ll be to the gym in a few.” and with that he hung up the phone. I didn’t know what to do or say. He gets up and I let him. He walks to the door and turns around for a second, “I’m taking this fucker down tonight.” and walks out.

******

This day went by faster than I’d like to admit. Calum went to the gym to get ready. Liv came home and got ready. Before we knew it, Liv was driving us to the underground arena. I felt sick. I was silent. She could tell how nervous I was. “Hey.” She brought me out of my thoughts with. “He’ll be okay. He’s strong.” She said to me and I just nodded.

We arrived to the arena and went in. The air was thick. The tension was thick. Liv brought us to the back was the boys were. “Where’s Cal?” I ask them and he just point to the corner where I see him throwing punches to the punching bag. I excuse myself and walk over there. “Hey” I say to him. He sees me and offers me a smile. I go over to him and hug him. It’s the only thing that felt right. In that moment time stopped. Soon we pull away and he holds my cheeks with his wrapped hands. “Look at me love.” He starts. “Whatever happens in that ring, just know that I love you. It’s not gonna be pretty. I’m probably gonna walk out with something broken but I refuse to let him leave standing. After what he did to you, he’s not coming out on top.” I just nod at him. “I love you Calum.” I whisper to him as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. This is all too familiar. This fear in my stomach, felt known. With that, he gives me the biggest kiss and engulfs me in his arms. “Hey Cal?” Mike interrupts. “It’s time.” He says. He pulls away, “I love you Lydia. More than anything. I’ll come back to you.” He started, “I promise.” I nod and let him walk off. I’m holding him to that.

He will come back to me.

The announcer starts his speech and introduces the fighters. I stand over by Liv and Ashton. I hear the bell and it signified the start of the fight. Right now, they’re walking in circles but Damon is taunting him. I can hear him.

“......Gotta say Hood, your taste in women is impeccable.” Damon says.

Is he bringing me up in this fight?

“I wonder how she’d look with her lips around my-”

And that’s when Calum threw the first punch, knocking Damon down in an instant. Calum crouches down to his level and whispers something I can barely make out, “That’s the last time you speak about my girl ever again if you want to make it out of here alive.” Damon just snickers and tries to stand up. Calum holds his elbow to his throat and holds him down. The ref counts and Calum won the first round. Two more to go.

“You think you can get away with that Hood?” Damon says lunging toward Calum grabbing him and spinning him around in a choke hold. I wince as his face goes red. Liv notices and grabs onto my hand. Calum brought his foot up and kicked him in dick, setting him out of Damons grasp. It isn’t long before Damon lurches as him again punching him down. Calums down, clutching his head in pain. “Try me.” Damon says as they announce Damon won that round.

Calum gets up and I can tell he’s dizzy. He keeps stumbling around the ring. Damon lunges at him and flips Calum to the ground, “God I love seeing you lose.” Damon says in Calums face and then something flipped in Calums head. He quickly got up and switched positions, so now Damon was on the ground. “I don’t lose.” Calum said through bloody teeth. Calum punched him like his life depended on it. With that, Damon stayed down. Blood was everywhere. Damons, Calums. “Certainly not after you go after my fucking family. Remember me in hell.” Calum says after he sent Damon one last punch, knocking him unconscious.

The ref announced Calum as the winner.

Calum won against Damon Banks. He won. He’s alive. They escort him out of the ring and the first thing he does is run over to me and engulfs me in the biggest hug. I don’t care how sweaty he is. In this moment the only thing that mattered was that he was okay. “I knew you could do it.” I said as I grabbed his face. We release as he smiles. Ashton comes over and greets him with a towel and a hug. “That’s what I’m talking about man!” Ashton says, happiness clear on his face. Luke and Mike come over and hug him and say how proud they are. Calum walks over to the bench but stumbles. “Are you okay Cal?” Ashton asks. Calum just shakes his head and holds his head in his hands. “Hey hey what’s wrong?” I ask and sit next to him. “M-my head.” He says quickly. “Get him to the hospital.” I say to Ashton and he hesitates. “Ashton he said it’s his head. Something could be seriously wrong.” I say through gritted teeth. Calum keeps groaning in pain. “Lydia you don’t understand. We could all get in trouble-” “Do you fucking hear yourself right now? Calum is hurt.” I yell frustrated. Calum could be seriously hurt and he doesn’t seem to care. “This has happened before. He’ll be fine-” It wasn’t until Calums head fell into my lap that Ashton realized it’s serious.

“Calum?” I say gripping his head. His eyes are closing. “Calum no stay with me!” I yell as his eyes flutter close. Ashton rushes to him. “Calum bud. Come on.” Nothing. No response. “Get him to the hospital now!” I yell. Ashton picks him up and rushes him to the car. I’m behind him but I stop as I see Damon outside the door. “Bring him to the hospital. I’ll grab his stuff and meet you there with Liv.” I shakily say to Ash. He just nods and obeys. I kiss Calums head and whisper, “You are not done yet.”

“Like I said.” I hear a voice say behind me, “I don’t lose.” Damon says.

“Your broken nose and concussion says otherwise.” I spat back as I go to retrieve Calums belongings. “Really? I’m not the one being rushed to the hospital.” “You know what Damon?” I start, “You come here, throw a temper tantrum because you lost the first time, lose a second time and still claim you’re a winner.” I pause and step closer. “But I don’t see a single soul here cheering you on. You tried to beat Calum by talking about me in the ring. Me, his girlfriend, who is there cheering him on. Along with his best friends. Who do you have, huh?” I pause and he just stares at me. “Yeah what I thought. You lost not once, but twice, to Calum. So who’s the real winner?” I spat and walk away. “You shouldn’t have said that.” He yells. “You’re not gonna do shit.” I say to him, calling his bluff. “How are you so confident that I won’t?” He asks. “Because you know there are people that would care if I lived or died. The difference is I or anyone for that matter, could kill you right now, and no one would care. If you call that winning, then congratulations. You fucking won Damon Banks.” I say as I go inside, get Calums stuff and get my sister. We walk out to see Damon gone and we drive to the hospital.

We arrive as I run in. I see Ashton in the waiting room with his head in his lap. “Anything?” He shakes his head as a nurse comes walking in. “Family of Calum Hood?” She calls out. “Yes that’s us.” “Are you immediate family?” She asks. “We’re all he has.” Ashton says. She just nods and tells us what happened. “Calum has something called Craniocerebral Trauma. It’s a very serious head injury that’s a result from a big blow to the head. Do you know what happened?”

Ashton looks to me for the answer. “He was jumped.” I answer quickly. Ash just nods agreeing with me. I technically wasn’t wrong. The nurse hums in response, “They must’ve really went for his head.” I just nod and look for the ground. “W-will he be okay?” I ask. “He’s stable right now. When he wakes up, there's a list of pills he needs to take. As long as he does, he’ll be just fine. It’s in his hands now.” He’s gonna be okay. “Can we see him?” Ashton asks. “Two at a time.” The nurse says. I gesture to Luke and Michael who just arrived. “You guys wanna go see Cal?” I ask and they nod and follow the nurse. As they walk away, Ashton just hugs me as I cry into his shoulder. “He’s gonna be okay Lyd. It’s okay.” He whispers to me. I stay in his embrace for a minute. I release and sit down. I can’t stop jittering and shaking.

Luke and Michael walked out and Ashton and Liv went in. Luke and Mike came and sat with me. “He looks a lot better than he did at the arena.” Luke expresses. “The doctor said he should wake up at any time now.” Mike said. “Yeah well I’m not leaving until he does.” I mutter. After another hour it’s my turn. I decide to go in alone.

I walk in to see his sleeping body laying on the bed. He’s hooked up to so many wires and chords. I sat down in the chair next to the bed and just stare at him. He looks peaceful. After the week he’s had, he needs this rest. “I never thought I’d be in this situation with you.” I chuckle. “I’ve cleaned up your wounds but I’ve never sat with you in the hospital. I can’t say I didn’t see this coming.” I say as I pause and grab his hand. “You know, you’ll be proud of me. I bascially told Damon to fuck off.” I laugh. “God I wish you were awake. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. When I left, you were just figuring yourself out. I come back and you’re this man. I know I never should have left. Times like these really but things into perspective.” I finish my speech as a single tear rolls down my cheek. “I love you Calum. I never stopped. I never will.” I say. I start to doze off. It’s been a long day. I don’t even feel myself fall asleep.

I feel something against my hand move. I open my eyes and see my hand is still holding Cals. I see his thumb start to move against my hand. “C-cal?” I say rising out of a sound sleep.

“Couldn’t get rid of me that easily love.” He says with his raspy voice. I smile as tears come from my eyes. I stand up and kiss him like I never have before. “I love you Lydia.” He mumbles.

I call the nurse in to check his vitals and alert the boys he’s awake. They all come in and he holds my hand the entire time. It’s almost like he’s afraid to let go. He asks multiple questions. “Did he look worse?” He asked about Damon. Ash just chuckled and said “Much.”

********

Eventually, he was released to go home although he just came to my apartment. I get him all situated in bed and he stops me from leaving, “hey lyd?” “Yeah babe?” “I was thinking, d-do you want to move in together?” He asks scardly. I don’t even hesitate, “Yes of course.” His eyes lit up. “Wait really?” he questions. “Of course Calum.” I respond chuckling.

The rest of that night we spent looking for apartments in the area. After hours of searching we found this two bedroom apartment downtown. We fell in love with it. The next day we decided to visit it and that’s when we signed the papers. We bought our first apartment together.

********

Time Jump: One year

Calum decided to quit fighting and focus on training, which not surprisingly, he was better at. He now spends his days training young fighters like he was and take them under his wing.

We still live in that apartment together. We decided to get a dog. Well Calum decided to get a dog. I got a text from him one day saying there was a surprise at home. I wasn’t expecting to walk into my living room to see a dog on my couch. He’s a little husky, corgi rescue named Duke. Nonetheless, I still love him.

Liv gave birth to a healthy little girl named Luna. She’s the sweetest little child. Ashton no longer works at the gym. He decided to quit his job to ensure his family’s safety. He made the right decision.

As far as Calum and I, we’re great. I love him more than anything. We see a future with each other. That stupid descion I made a few years ago will haunt me for the rest of my life but in the end, it brought us closer.

Calum was my first real love. I’m lucky enough to see him as my last love too.

[pristinepastel]

yay! finally updated again, sheesh. in this i gain some sidekicks! and we learn that in the fade, there is no language.

Chapter 9: A Brief Intensity Surrounded by Repose

As soon as I notice the fact I haven’t dreamed yet since I got here, I poof into the fade. Not like how most people dream in the fade- No, this looks more like how the fade shows up in origins with the Sloth demon. Basically, I’m in the remains of half of my bedroom back in my dorm. Very uncanny valley. Very fallout-like, even. Wonder what ohio looks like in that series? Maybe it’s an area you can travel to in fallout 76. I mean, West Virginia is pretty close, right? I think.

I see a glimmer out of the corner of my eye. I turn, and see a small sparkly cloud. Ooh, is that a wisp? It’s a purple one! Very nice. Hello friend!

It shifts into a slightly different shape, I think that’s how it waves at people! Cute! It zips around a bit, then stops, hovering in front of one of the plushies on my bed.

“Curious? That’s Cayde holding Colonel the chicken. they’re good people.” It floats around over my be, settling on top of a cat plushie. Awww. Adorable, but I kind of miss Molly now-

There’s a rubbing sensation around my leg. I look down-

Oh my goddess it’s a cat-shaped spirit. Oh goddess I could cry. This place is amazing.

Ok ok, calm down. Don’t get too excited. Don’t want to draw too much attention. I pick up the cat-spirit, and sit on my bed with them on my lap. Alright, so I can dream here, That’s good! Some people come here without the ability to enter the fade. This gives me a place where I can sit and actually think without any interruptions. Wonder if I can walk between dreams..? Eh, I’m alright where I am actually. I don’t really want to risk that sort of thing. I mean, sure that’d be cool, but I’m not really good at... exploring in unfamiliar places without getting really anxious and panicky. And on the fade, that hurts more than just me. I pet the cat-spirit friend, whose name I don’t know yet.

Hmmm... I wonder. I get the feeling it was my inner voice that drew the wisp and cat spirit here, but I wonder if I can give them other cool things too, like... music maybe? Hm. What should it be? Don’t want to go too intense or morbid with the first one, and it should be one I know pretty well already. I don’t want to sing actual foreign lyrics that I can’t remember correctly without having the information on my phone. So. Hearse song, Walk On Water, and Yoi Yoi Kokon at off the table for now. Last one is a bit too fast for me anyway. Maybe... Hallelujah? But which one? I can go with the Leanord Cohen one, or the one Brendon Urie wrote. To be honest when I saw that title for a Panic! At the Disco song I assumed it was another cover of the first one, but no it just has the same name. ... If someone I know actually walks in on this, I think it’s better if it’s the first one. I really don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me.

How does it start again? Oh right.

“Now I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music, do you?” The wisp seems interested, and Cat starts purring. Approval! Good.

“It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah~” I make sure to keep my eyes part way open during the chorus. I don’t want to get startled if more people show up.

“Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to a kitchen chair

She broke your throne, and she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah~”

No Solas yet, but there are a few silhouettes creeping in around the edge of my room near my desktop.

“You say I took the name in vain

I don't even know the name

But if I did—well, really—what's it to you?

There's a blaze of light in every word

It doesn't matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah~”

Cat is really calming to pet. Like a chinchilla, with more fur than a cat actually has in real life but I don’t mind, they’re trying their best to be a cat.

This next part is probably the most important one, so it’s good that I can kind of sense the spirits reacting to him being nearby. I’m pretty sure that’s who they see, anyway. They’re kind of parting to make room, and looking back.

“I did my best, it wasn't much

I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch

I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you

And even though it all went wrong

I'll stand before the Lord of Song

With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah...”

Yep, there he is. I finish up the final chorus, then wave.

“Solas!”

“Making friends, I see.” Woah, I can understand him! This is great! I was worried about how I could talk to him without making Shiloh involved.

“Yeah, these two showed up when I first got here! They’re adorable, right?”

He seems a little surprised by my response, but recovers quickly with a raised eyebrow. I can’t tell if he’s surprised I could understand him, or by my... unique personality.

“Most wouldn’t describe them as such. You aren’t suspicious of them?”

“No, not really. They’re just curious after all- As far as I’m aware, they haven’t seen anything like me or my room before. I don’t blame them, if I’d never seen a computer before I’d be confused too.”

“... I’ll admit to some curiosity myself. A... computer?”

“The black square thing on that desk over there.” I point to the other side of the room, across from where I’m sitting on the bed. Huh. “You’re not asking about how I know they’ve never seen anyone like me before?”

He turns back to me after inspecting my desk. “I didn’t expect you to answer.”

“Why not? I don’t mind. I already told the others- or... tried to tell them I had information to share. Go ahead and ask!”

He looks at me perplexed. “You’re certain? Why share personal information with someone you know so little?”

Time to store the pot a bit, I guess. “First of all, that’s how meeting people goes, isn’t it? Everyone’s a stranger at first. Then you exchange tidbits about each other to get to know people. Then those tidbits get bigger and more important until you can say you really know someone. Second, I already know quite a bit about you guys, so. It’s only fair, right?”

He narrows his eyes. He took the hint, I think. “... Is that so? How, exactly, do you know me- us- so well?”

“I have some prior knowledge about what’s going to happen. I kind of want to wait until everyone’s in the loop to share it all though, if that’s ok. It’s only fair, if it involves everyone, right? Suffice to say, I like you guys and I want to make sure everything ends up in a good way.”

“How do you classify ‘a good way’ in this case? There’s a hole in the sky. Is the best case for you the closing of the breach?”

“It doesn’t end there, but that’s definitely part of it.” I snort. “I know you’re trying to find out how much I know. I don’t intend to share secrets without the express permission of the person who they’re owned by, unless that person is an irredeemable ass waffle, in which case I really couldn’t give less of a shit what the striped stockings corpse man thinks.”

He raises an eyebrow. “... Striped stockings corpse man?”

“The Elder One. The guy who probably brought me here in the first place. And before you ask if I think I’m here through some divine will slash ‘providence’ as Cassandra puts it, I don’t know. I’m keeping my options open, I guess. Just because Corypheus brought me here directly doesn’t mean no one guided that to happen indirectly, you know?”

I can’t read that expression. “You aren’t andrastian, I take it?”

Snrk. “Hells, no. I’m not a member of any organized religion to be honest. At least, I’m not part of any widely recognized group or church. You could say I’m agnostic. I believe figures did or do exist, but I have no reason to believe any of them are solely in charge, or that any of them aren’t the same people.” I pause to take a breath. I probably don’t need to though, this is a dream. “But... I am a witch. I do have one entity I kind of... ‘follow’, I guess. It’s more of a partnership than a worship thing though.”

“And what entity is that?” At this point, he sits on my desk chair. He gets a little startled when the chair moves a bit more than he expected, and I giggle. No one here has experienced chairs with wheels, I guess.

“Where I’m from, she’s called Baba Yaga. She’s more of a mythical creature than a goddess, a lot of people call her a witch of the wilds. She shows up in a lot of old legends and tales as a character with various names, who either tries to trick or teach the hero lessons, kind of a trickster. It’s not just in one culture either, a lot of places have similar stories just with different names.”

“Speaking of culture, you seem rather out of place here. Where are you from, beyond the sea?”

“To be honest, I have no clue if that’s true or not. Where I’m from, people have already found at least 90% of the land of the world. The only places we haven’t looked are under the oceans and past the stars.”

“That far? Your people sound well travelled.” He sounds intrigued.

“I guess? But to be honest, it’s not really a ‘my people’ sort of accomplishment. We have various cultures back home who discovered places mine hadn’t. And it’s not exactly... the process wasn’t exactly peaceful.”

“Oh?”

“I’d assume war is a pretty common thread in many worlds. And empires.” I pet Cat a bit more. “And bigotry. And manifest destiny. Do you guys have a word for manifest destiny?”

“That depends on its definition.”

“People saying they have the right to take whatever they want because their god- who they also claim has ‘chosen them’- says they can.”

“Ah. Yes, that’s happened before.”

“Yeah.” I sigh. What a long and exhausting conversation to have after not being able to have one for a while, sheesh. “That got... a bit heavy. Sorry, I went on a tangent.”

“No worries. The conversation was quite enlightening, in fact.” He stands up from the chair.

Hells, I’m sure it was. Oof. “Hey, before you go- I know the little one next to me is a wisp, but do you have any idea what this one’s name is? I’ve just been calling them Cat and it feels a bit rude.”

“Oh?” He inspects the spirit currently purring on my lap. “It seems to be a young spirit, perhaps recently formed. If I had to guess, I believe it’s a spirit of Repose.”

“Repose? That means calm, right? Fitting!” Hmm. “That’s a pretty formal sounding name for such a young one though. A nickname might be nice. Oooh! Posey! That’s perfect!”

Solas chuckles. “Varric was right. It’s hard to tell your age- you seem older than you should be one moment, then have a moment of childlike innocence the next.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I look more like a weird, sick-looking child. My eyebags could hold barrels. But I swear, I am 21. I just have some... mental and physical issues that make me uniquely weird.”

“Such as?”

“Where would I even begin? Besides, I don’t know how long we’ve been here, but I have a feeling it’s almost time to... ‘wake up’?” Wiggle brows.

His expression becomes more serious for a moment, then he sighs. “You’re certainly an odd person, Pristine. Though I suppose you’re right, I will need to wait to learn what you know.” He gives me a narrow-eyed look. “Understand, however. I will learn what you know eventually. And if you intend to endanger-“

“Solas. Dude. You’re getting a little intense here. I literally just said I’ll be telling everyone what I know- so long as I have the permission of the individual it belongs to, unless they’re an asshole like Corypheus. I’m not going around blackmailing people here.”

He’s silent for a moment, as he holds his look. Then he raises an eyebrow. “... You are very sure about this, aren’t you.”

I laugh. “Hells, no! I have some inkling of what I’m doing but specifics of each bit of the plan? Fuck no. Now, is there anything else you wanna ask before I wake up? Cus. If I sleep in, my sleep schedule is going to go back to nocturnal mode and that won’t end well.”

He chuckles, as he stands up. “No. I will leave you be, I’ve intruded in your space long enough tonight. Though, I do have a request.”

“Hm?” I start petting Posey again.

“Tell me more of your world in the future. It makes for an interesting conversation topic.”

I snort again. “Sure. I have no doubt it’s going to be a very popular one in the coming days. Especially from Varric and some others- Oy vey he and Josie are going to be insatiable.”

He nods, and disappears. For a while longer, I relax with Posey and the wisp, humming in relative silence. Other than a few curious spirits who watch from a distance, no one else visits. It’s a pretty satisfying night.

And then I wake up.

———

While I wait for the rest of the inquisition to finish setting everything up, I have time to think about how I’m going to explain myself. Because a lot of other people would, in my place, hold off telling anyone what they know until much later when they think it’s safe, or when the information is forced out of them. In another world, like Naruto for instance, I’d probably do just that. In that world it wouldn’t be safe to share what I know until I’d be sure no one would spread the information around willy-nilly, too many people behind the scenes would eavesdrop, kill me for knowing too much, or try to kidnap me for their own agenda.

Here though, it’s different. I have a filter through Shiloh, who I trust with my entire being, as well as a position of some importance to the inquisition and therefore protection. I trust it’s safe to tell them because they can’t risk losing my mark, and they’ll have to work with me until the breach is sealed at least. There’s also the whole “Herald” thing- while I’m not sure Andraste is the direct reason I’m here, a lot of people here do. It lends some credence to my other-worldly story. If I was sent here by the Maker, who’s to say they didn’t give me prior knowledge of what’s going to happen? And even if they don’t believe me, the events coming up will definitely help me convince them somewhat.

That isn’t to say I’m going to reveal everything I know- I’m not showing what I know about some people to everyone else. I fully believe they should be the ones to tell people themselves, it’s not my place. Also, I want to at least talk to everyone individually at some point- hopefully convincing some of them to change their minds about certain things. Looking at you, Solas.

Of course, there’s also the other inner circle. The characters only I really know back in my world. They’re going to be a bit... tricky. I’ve met Shiloh and Osiria, they’ll be very helpful, and they have similar goals to me. The others- I’ve seen one or two of them around Haven, but I haven’t approached them yet. I know I’ll meet at least two or three of them soon, the Trevelyans usually stick together after all, and Jaimie is going to be important to the Inquisition with her mages. Haven’t seen the Lavellans yet, but they should be ok. In my story, they evacuated the Conclave before it blew up after being warned by Shiloh and set up camp further down the mountain with Cadash. And since Jaimie and her group got the same warning from Shiloh and they made it out, I know Sahrel and Olivia are safe and with Elisa.

Then there’s the Valo-kas. Osiria had left the group before the conclave was even arranged and kept in touch. They weren’t even in the temple before it blew, and they left after rightfully assuming it was too dangerous to stay. We might be able to recruit their help later. I hope so, my Shokrakar and Cassandra are so cute together.

The game’s inner circle will be recruited as normal, of course. I plan to reveal the knowledge I have multiple times as we take them in, repeating what I know is better than keeping some out of the loop, or worse making everyone wait until after the breach is sealed the first time.

Thinking about everyone we’ll be bringing in brings up another point- no not the mage vs templar thing that’s a different point altogether. An important point, but still. I wonder if the fact I have multiple Hawkes and Wardens will change the story at all? I know Gerard would never leave Anders and Fenris behind. And Aahil isn’t one to let Morrigan and their son go so easily. Then there’s Abeera as queen... Oof, my head. This is emotionally tiring me.

The point is moot for now, anyway. I watched Cullen put up the sign on the Chantry door today. I’m going to have to pull my social skills together soon. Time to explain myself.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #modern girl in thedas #Solas #pristine did a page