#im so tired of fighting for i dont know what | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pears-trinkets · 6 months

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#im so angry right now and actually physically sick #my whole family consists of two people only and theyre both pro israel and super condescending towards other opinions #saying everyone who does not share their opinion is a unknowledgable child on the internet that buys into trends and lies #i tried to talk to them so many times offering to talk and share resources #trying to reason with them #screaming at them how their logic doesnt make sense and only works if theyre profiting off of it #and im being called unreasonable angry and unhinged because im the crazy one im the one whos been in a mental hospital the one with issues #but my whole life is reliant on them and i can not cut them out of my life even if they do great damage to my mental health and selfesteem #im completely financially dependent on them and can not live on my own #not only because i wouldnt be able to get an apartment without them but also because i only have a job because i work for my step dad #i cant hold other jobs or even get them to begin with and also they would pay less than half of what i earn now #which would not even be enough to pay rent #i hate my life so fucking much i am so angry how i have to have my abusive mom in my life and cry about it like im 14 #im so tired of fighting for i dont know what #im so tired of being gaslit all the time and being looked down even though im an adult and try to speak super eloquently #and then it just ends in me crying and screaming and my face twitching uncontrollably because everything i say is being shut down #i know im right i know what i read and see about gaza i know so much more about the whole issue than them and see all the horrors #but it doesnt matter because im just an ungreatful child who wants to invent conflict because apparently i love fighting #like nothing that i say matters #israel is using abuser tactics like silencing the people they abuse and playing the victim and twisting the narrative #and the whole zionist propaganda #and thats literally my mom and how she acts as a person #she hates being jewish she never talks about it she didnt want to tell me anything about the culture and didnt learn yiddish from her family #and now she says that everyone who is against israel is like the people who were antisemitic to her all her life and said shes less than #she literally made this war this genocide about herself and how shes always the victim #i wish i just had someone to talk to so i dont go completely insane #i feel so alone

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whysopasta · 10 months

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a mildly out-of-context comic from my au

[ > ] / [> (digital alt)]

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puppyeared · 4 months

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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

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the-kipsabian · 1 year

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#kip sabian #penelope ford #renee paquette #hangman adam page #hangman page #aew #all elite wrestling #aewedit #wrestlingedit #wrestling #night gifs #i wanna point out. even tho i know this will get lost in the shuffle in the tags but i dont want to add it into the actual post either #but kip doesnt hide behind penelope actually #i know its the 'haha funny man hiding behind his wife' trope but im tired and im sick so i have something to say #thats not whats happening here. yes he is dodging hangman by backing away #but you can see penny purposefully stepping more between them clearly instead of kip backing away behind her #they all know hangman wont hit her. but she will protect her husband come hell or high water #compare her to renee stepping away for example - for penny its the fight instinct. renee has the flight instinct as a non-competitor #kip is just fucking dumb but he aint hiding. its penny thats stepping up instead #sorry ive seen this take so many times im just irritated and nobody will read this so yeah okay carry on #my beloved #kip in a box #vampire wife #boxman saga #(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)

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madame-mongoose · 4 months

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why is it so hard to be happy

#i should be happy #it should be so easy #so many good things happen to me #i have good friends #a loving partner #people i care about #i have so much #and yet i feel so hollow #all the time #im so tired. its so hard to fight #i just dont know what to do #monnie rambles

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ganondoodle · 5 months

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just after i crawled my way out of that 'art-low' and i got myself excited to work on the rough draft for chapter2- i suddendly just crash and burn again bc i cant get the thought out of my head that im not a good writer either actually and my ideas are comically boring

do i really have to fight my own brain over and over again for the rest of my life (ㆆ_ㆆ)

#ganondoodles talks #random #i dont want to keep sounding so self pitying #sometimes i can fight these feeling #but sometiems it just feels like you just realized the truth about yourself #so fighting that is just lying to yourself #and i feel like im being so ungrateful everytime i feel like shit #bc i know there are people that like what i do #and just bc there are people that are better at everything that im doing or aspiring to do doesnt mean im useless #BUT IT ALSO FEELS LIKE IM WASTING MY TIME #even thoguh funnnily enough i wouldnt even know what WOULDNT be a waste of time bc ......#i dont ... have anything else #if you take away art and writing theres nothing left of me #kinda not surprising then that i keep accidentally tying my feeling of worth to the receiption of what i post #................ and losing followers in the hundreds on twitter espeically doesnt exactly help #though that is mostly bc im rting a ton of info about palestine and tbh idk if i would want people following me that are zionists or simila #still feels bad #AND I KNOW WHAT MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME IS WRONG OR IT SHOULDNT MATTER #but it still feels real #im so tired of fighting myself

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bonnieisaway · 6 months

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seven's the best protag ever because i could make a million "get you a man who" jokes about him. get you a man who looks at him the way thirteen does. get you a man who has undefeated whimsy and love for the world like seven. get you a man who holds his friends above everything else. get you a man who'd rather go broke and hungry rather than tear apart the bonds between people. get you a man who'd get himself killed for someone who barely knows him. get you a man who'd get himself killed for an island which he's barely familiar with. get you a man who'd dress up as you and settle the arguement between you and your girlfriend including a really long serenade. get you a man who could both save the girl in white like that and also let thirteen save him like that. get you a man who's driven purpose in life is loving others

#i think i shouldnt limit it to just “best protag” but im too lazy to think of better phrasing #i know very little medias who would be willing to write a man who's that loving and empathetic and caring and also have him have killed #literal thosuands and those two points of his characters dont contradict his very personality because his actions have genuine sensible mot #a character who is the victim of his own narrative and continues to fight it over and over and over even if he's tired #because being tired does not mean he gets to stop fighting for what he loves #the s4 op lyrics literally say something along the lines of “who's tired of fighting evil?” i cant check the netflix captions of it rn #god i just love seven as a character i love how he's written #i cannot interract with the tiktok side of the fandom because #i feel like i'm pretentous or a gatekeeper when i say this #but some people just wanna see funny badass who should be feared and will not comprehend how empathetic and adoring he is #and that's ok. that's an ok character to want and love #and i will not be the person to burst the bubble but also the bubble chokes me alive LOOK AT HIM /j #explaining the intricacies of his character takes so long and its so fun but also some mfs jsut dont wanna hear it i need mfs who need it #scissor seven #wu liuqi #seven

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angel-of-sweet-revenge · 8 days

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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agro-carnist · 9 months

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devotedlystrangewizard · 4 months

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totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt

#ramblings #all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable #like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain #am i just not getting something here am i insane #my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT #its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry #it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all #botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula #though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess #you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done #this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword #IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF #'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL #heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous #here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil #heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him #ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION????#the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god #i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food #you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature #i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world

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symphorine · 2 months

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#personal #i was like. already being gloomy lol thinking god i wish i could be a normal fucking person #talk to and message ppl and form and maintain friendships and know what to fucking say #and then i realized. even if i finally understood how it works and how to do thay. chronic fatigue means #i am literally unable to sustain the effort it would need. i cant do it. i cant reach the aspect of normalcy i desperately want #im already so close to my limit. i owe several people very overdue replies. and i want to talk to them! but. energy #and now im just sad. forget the autism the depression the chronic pain. the fatigue is what's worst for everything #i can never function to the level normal people can ever. i thought maybe the realisation would be a relief but #im just sad and frustrated and it sucks it just sucks #i want to make friends i want to fight that yawning pit of loneliness that i cant shake but i literally cannot #i dont understand what i have to do to matter enough to other ppl that they see me as a friend. idk how to interact with people naturally #its all learned its all painstakingly learned and built patterns and now i cant even try to learn more. im too fucking tired

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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months

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lied again. it’s also a game preservation issue to me. last year, the wii and 3ds e-shops closed down. i believe there was an effort to archive all the games on there that went as successfully as it could, but that was only games on there available before it closed, not counting games removed beforehand for one reason or another. how many games did we just. lose? because game companies don’t give a shit about preservation, and even less for preservation of games that just aren’t impressive, aren’t meaningful in the way things like. the legend of zelda are.

who in their right mind would dedicate resources to making sure that Rio on the ds is made continuously available for archival purposes, right? but it matters. even the shit games matter. every terrible atari game from when people really didn’t know what the hell they were making, every nes title that probably has its own angry video game nerd rant dedicated to it, and every terrible wii tie-in game that no one asked for. leave it up to the companies who made those games, and they’d disappear. especially nowadays with the prevalence of digital copies over physical ones, it feels so precarious. at least there was some stability in know that there were probably going to be thousands of physical copies made of those past games. take down a digital-only game when nobody’s looking, does it make a sound?

idk. it upsets me, the idea that these things, even as seemingly worthless and bad as they are, could be lost. would be lost, if the people in charge had a say in it.

#someone once said that ‘no one gets into lost media because they think theyre going to find high art. they just want to know what they arent #allowed to see.’ and like. yeah. i think that resonates here. i dont want bolt for the wii to be preserved because i think its a masterpiece #of game design and a lifechanging experience to play. i want it preserved because it has worth just by being.#people compare early film history to this growing wave of resistance to game preservation by companies trying to fight emulation/piracy #while not taking care of their shit on their own. how so many early films were lost when companies flat out burned them and shit for not #making a profit. and you know? would it matter if they were good movies? bad movies? would it matter?#someone made them. and they were destroyed. and we will never see them again.#its late lmao you can tell im tired because im getting emotional about fuckin. happy feet wii game. or some shit.#but i think it would be a huge shame if someday in the future all we had to look back on were super mario bros and legend of zeldas #and no room in our world for our friday the 13ths and our ETs.

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the-kipsabian · 3 months

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grieving