#and im being called unreasonable angry and unhinged because im the crazy one im the one whos been in a mental hospital the one with issues

[pears-trinkets]

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#im so angry right now and actually physically sick #my whole family consists of two people only and theyre both pro israel and super condescending towards other opinions #saying everyone who does not share their opinion is a unknowledgable child on the internet that buys into trends and lies #i tried to talk to them so many times offering to talk and share resources #trying to reason with them #screaming at them how their logic doesnt make sense and only works if theyre profiting off of it #and im being called unreasonable angry and unhinged because im the crazy one im the one whos been in a mental hospital the one with issues #but my whole life is reliant on them and i can not cut them out of my life even if they do great damage to my mental health and selfesteem #im completely financially dependent on them and can not live on my own #not only because i wouldnt be able to get an apartment without them but also because i only have a job because i work for my step dad #i cant hold other jobs or even get them to begin with and also they would pay less than half of what i earn now #which would not even be enough to pay rent #i hate my life so fucking much i am so angry how i have to have my abusive mom in my life and cry about it like im 14 #im so tired of fighting for i dont know what #im so tired of being gaslit all the time and being looked down even though im an adult and try to speak super eloquently #and then it just ends in me crying and screaming and my face twitching uncontrollably because everything i say is being shut down #i know im right i know what i read and see about gaza i know so much more about the whole issue than them and see all the horrors #but it doesnt matter because im just an ungreatful child who wants to invent conflict because apparently i love fighting #like nothing that i say matters #israel is using abuser tactics like silencing the people they abuse and playing the victim and twisting the narrative #and the whole zionist propaganda #and thats literally my mom and how she acts as a person #she hates being jewish she never talks about it she didnt want to tell me anything about the culture and didnt learn yiddish from her family #and now she says that everyone who is against israel is like the people who were antisemitic to her all her life and said shes less than #she literally made this war this genocide about herself and how shes always the victim #i wish i just had someone to talk to so i dont go completely insane #i feel so alone