#i wish i just had someone to talk to so i dont go completely insane

[julilovesyou444]

my first ~ tom kaulitz

background ~ love confession that leads to something else, all from Tom’s point of view.

warnings ~ no proofreading, mentions of drinking, mentions of smoking, smut, p in v, praise, oral fem receiving, breeding ig? idk tbh but it’s naughty sooooo🙉🙈 be prepared LMAO

a/n ~ heres a small blurb, writers block is going insane rn. also someone called my writing “corny” or something… like if you don’t like it, then DONT READ‼️what do u want me to say? sorry??? nah. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME EVER WRITING ANYTHING LIKE THIS BESIDES HEAD SO PLS BE NICE IDK WHAT IM DOING. I learned everything from here and wattpad so don’t blame me😓 thanks for the love too

~

I was sitting on some raggedy couch, girls practically throwing themselves at me. we had finished a concert about an hour ago, and i insisted that we partied to celebrate. I had no idea I’d be so miserable. I slowly sipped my drink, looking around. girls were saying all kinds of things to me, touching me, but they were all so incoherent. I didn’t care about them right now. I couldn’t focus on them while I was looking for her.

my eyes continued their search throughout the crowded room until they found what they were looking for. there she was. standing off to the side, drink in her hand, smile on her face. bill and I had met her right before we started our band. she had always been so close with bill. i had been so jealous of that. i wanted to be as close to her as she was with bill, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let myself. the feelings she made me feel were so unfamiliar, and they scared me. I hated not being in control, and whenever I was around her, I lost complete control over myself and my thoughts.

she looked so beautiful, tonight. of course I would never tell her that. it wasnt my place. we didn’t talk to each other like that. even though I wish we did, at least sometimes. I adored how her clothes hugged tightly to her figure and how confident she acted without being cocky. bill had invited her on tour with us. I was reluctant, I didn’t know how I would feel with her being with us all the time. but I didn’t want to be the only one to object, so I accepted.

it was always fun with her, she knew how to electrify a room and light it up instantly. i avoided time alone with her. I hoped she didn’t think I was doing it because I didn’t like her. i just got… nervous.

I watched her from the couch until her eyes connected to mine. I thought she would look away, but she didn’t. She brought her cup to her mouth and took a slow sip, her eyes never leaving mine. the lights from the party flashed in her eyes, making them sparkle as if diamonds were encrusted in them. I could stare into them all day. I couldn’t read the look on her face. I couldn’t tell how she was feeling about this; about me.

Some random girl shoved my shoulder, causing me to look over.

“Can you stop being so boring? I think i might get another drink…”, she complained and slurred , clearly drunk. I rolled my eyes and sat her on the couch, getting up as I did so. My back was turned to the party and I tried to get this hammered girl to calm down. Eventually, I was able to get her to just chill out on the couch. I turned around, wanting to see if she was still watching me. To my disappointment, she was gone. I looked around. I looked around the party some more, and again, and again.

“where the fuck did she run off to?”, i muttered to myself, slowly turning myself in a circle, trying to locate her possible location. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her.

That’s when my eyes landed on a set of stairs that led upstairs. I walked over, randoms saying hi to me as i did. music was blaring and the room had cans and solo cups lining the floor. it reeked of bad weed and alcohol. I made my way to the top of the stairs. I came at a stop when I got to the upstairs. it was still loud, but definitely not as loud as it was downstairs. there was a single long hallway, lined with tall doors, and at the end of the hallway was a big bay window that faced the back of the house. no lights were turned on, but the moon shone brightly and dimly lit up the corridor. I saw her, sitting down on the little cushions by the window, gazing out. she didn’t know I was here with her. the moonlight danced on her skin, illuminating her so perfectly.

I walked slowly over to her. As soon as I came in her eyesight, I noticed she was a bit startled, but relaxed when she saw it was just me.

she gazed back up at the night sky, the millions of stars reflecting onto her pupils. she looked so ethereal with the moon light dancing on her skin.

“the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”, she softly asked, as she interrupted my thoughts. she looked over at me with the sweetest smile.

I wasn’t even looking at the moon, just at her.

“Very…”, I mumbled.

She smiled at me and looked back towards the window.

“What are you doing up here? I thought you were enjoying yourself.”, she said. I scoffed.

“I usually enjoy these parties, but tonight, I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it I guess.”

“Really? You had so many girls all over you… I would’ve thought that you’d be in heaven.”, she laughed. I smiled and shook my head a little.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me… I just didn’t want them like I usually would’ve.”, i shrugged.

“Is anything bothering you?”, she asked, looking genuine.

“the tom I know would never not be enjoying the fact that so many girls were all over them.”, she added.

“I don’t know… it’s just that, I’ve been dealing with some shit and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“maybe if you tell me, I can help. I know we aren’t like best friends or anything but you know I’m always here for you, right?”, she asked, looking up at me and placing her hand on my arm.

“yea, yea, I know… I think it’ll feel good to finally tell someone. I know a lot of the times I get perceived as a guy who only likes girls for things like sex and their bodies, and to be honest, it’s somewhat true. there’s just this one girl, this one girl, that I like way way way more than that, and I don’t know what to do or how to tell her.”, I vented.

“does she like you back?”

“that’s the thing… I don’t know.”

“oh, c’mon Tom, everyone likes you, im sure she does too.”, she tried to reassure me.

“you think?”

“positive. uh… sorry if this is invasive or something, but who is this girl? just curious…”, she said quickly. I cocked my head and smiled at her curiosity.

“Why do you wanna know?”, i asked.

“Um… nevermind, forget it. I don’t know why I wanted to know…”, she looked away from me.

“well i can tell you something about her…”, I started. I decided it was now or never. I had a feeling that my feelings were mutual.

“Hm?”, she said, looking back to me. I leaned down and let my mouth hover by her ear.

“she’s standing right in front of me.”, i said, just above a whisper. I could feel her tense up. I looked at her face. her eyes her wider and her mouth, slightly agape.

“what?”, was all she said. I stood up straight.

“You heard me.”, i said.

“you can’t just say that and not say anything else.”, she protested.

I shrugged.

“… are you being serious?”, she asked in a hushed tone. I looked over at her and was met with her big eyes.

“dead serious.”

“So you actually-”

“Like you? Mhm, yep, surprised me a bit too.”

She didn’t say anything and just stood there silent for a moment, processing everything I just told her.

“how does that make you feel, hm?”, I asked.

she didn’t say anything for a moment, but I watched her previous face turn into one of confidence.

“good, tom. it makes me feel good to know you feel the same way I feel about you.”

i smirked.

“you already knew that though, didn’t you?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“pfft. Of course I did.”

~

I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind us. as soon as I turned around, she was all over me. she pulled me by my neck down to kiss her, and i let her. her hands moved to the sides of my jaw, pulling me in as if I could get any closer. I pressed my hands on the small of her back, bringing her body flush against mine. my hands found a comfortable position on her hips. we kissed so much, I felt I was floating. her hands roamed my body as we did, feeling my skin where-ever she could. I used my hands to back her up against the counter. I moved them to be under her thighs, and she quickly got the memo. I hoisted her up so she was sitting on the edge of the counter. this way, it was easier to get to other places i wanted to explore.

I pulled back admired her for a second. sitting on the counter, just waiting for me to come back. I couldn’t stay away for long.

I moved my lips to her neck, leaving little soft and short kisses all over. I began to lightly suck, and as time went on, I starting going harder. she gave me the exact reaction I wanted, her little gasps and panting motivating me to do more.

I traveled from her neck, to her collarbone, then to a little lower. my hands found the bottom hem of her shirt. I looked up at her.

“can I?”

she quickly nodded and that was all I needed to see. I took her shirt off.

I felt my breath get caught in my throat. she was wearing a small lacy black bra.

“holy…”, I breathed out.

i snaked my hands around her torso and unclasped it, never breaking eye contact.

“you’re so beautiful, y’know that?”, i said huskily.

“thank you.”, she said, blushing. she looked away from my eyes as I peeled the bra off of her.

“hey, don’t be shy now. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, always wanted to tell you that. I’m glad I can now.”, i said, reassuring her. she looked back at me and smiled. I kissed her, much softer and gentler than I had been. my hands made their way to her boobs, massaging them slightly. I felt her breathing pick up a little. I kept kissing her, but I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss at her reaction. i played with her nipples between my two fingers, simply trying to get a reaction out of her. I successfully did just that, little noises escaping her throat as I continued. I pulled away.

“you like that?”

her eyes were screwed shut as she fastly nodded. I looked at her body as I kept playing with it. she was so hot. so so hot. I was so turned on, just at the sight of her.

“I wanna take care of you. Can I do that?”, I asked, my hands tracing up and down her thighs.

“please.”, she said. i smirked. her desperation made me want to pleasure her all the much more.

“I don’t do this that much, but for you, I will. you’re special.”

she opened her eyes and watched as i moved down to my knees. I used to hands to ride her skirt up, and then placed them on her knees to slowly open her legs. I loved teasing her. she was wearing light pink underwear, heavily contrasting the bra I had just taken off. There was already a little wet spot on them.

“Awwww, you’re already so excited, princess.”, i cooed, my fingers lightly brushing over the spot. she breathed in quickly at the contact. she lifted her hips and let me take her underwear off. I stuck them in my back pocket and refocused myself on the sight in front of me. I feverishly left kisses on her inner thighs while mumbling praises to her.

“so…so… pretty.”, I murmured.

I kept getting closer and closer to the place she needed me to touch her most. I could tell she was getting needy.

I ran my fingers down her slit, collecting all of the wetness that had formed. i stuck them in my mouth and watched as her mouth fell open due to my actions. i put my head back in between her legs and started licking her clit. my hands were gripping her thighs, keeping them all the way apart. she gasped and threw her head back as I kept going. I used one of my hands to put one of my fingers in her. I looked up and saw her eyebrows knit together and her nose scrunched up. her mouth was slack and so many pretty noises were leaving. her one hand gripped the edge of the counter while the other one tangled itself in my hair. after a good couple minutes, I decided to switch it up and moved my tongue down to her hole and my fingers rubbed her sweet spot. this did things for her, and I could tell how much pleasure she was receiving. she started repeating my name, over and over again. I started to pick up the pace, and her moans grew louder. I was thankful for how loud it was outside, but I also wouldn’t have cared if people could hear us.

I felt her legs tighten around my head, and then begin to shake. her chest was heaving, up and down, uo and down. she kept telling me she was close, but it was hard to hear her because she was so out of breath. I kept the pace I had, fucking her with my tongue, as she rode out her high. as she came, I made sure to lock up every last bit. she managed to open her eyes and watch me as i did.

“you’re so hot.”, she panted out, catching her breath. I stood up, now wanting to get a little pleasure for myself. I took her off the counter and spun her around so her backside was against me. I lowered my head to her ear.

“you were so good for me, love. I love seeing you come undone, can we do that a second time?”, I asked, my lips pressed to her ear.

“mhm.”, she nodded, making eye contact with me in the mirror. with that, I bent her over the counter and unzipped my pants. I pushed her entire skirt up all the way so I could get a look at her entire ass. she was bent over, waiting for me. if I was able to take a picture, I would’ve. she looked so incredibly good. I didn’t think she knew how much I had dreamed for this moment.

I ran my tip through her fold, teasing her a bit. she was already wet from her previous climax, so I didn’t need to prepare her too much. I pushed myself into her, but not the whole thing. I watched her face in the mirror. she gripped onto the counter top, and her jaw was slack once again. I let her get comfortable before pushing myself in further, all the way until i bottomed out. she moaned, letting her head fall. I waited a moment for her to get used to my size before I began to steadily move. her head was still down, facing the counter. I used my hand to grip her chin and move her face back up. I started to move a little faster.

“I want you to watch yourself.”, i said. she started to watch all the faces I was making her do in the mirror, and I was going crazy over it. my eyes kept darting between her face and then down, to see myself pound into her.

“mmm, you’re taking me so well, baby. you’re being so good for me, right now.”, I groaned out. during the whole thing, she was a moaning mess. I loved it. I loved how vocal she was about how good I was making her feel.

my arm wrapped itself around her and found her clit again, rubbing figure eights on it. I watched the pure ecstasy spread across her. I kept going all the way in, and almost all the way out before pushing my length back into her at such a fast pace, I knew she would be a mess in minutes. I knew I would be too.

And I was right. after only a small amount of time, she was having trouble keeping her head up.

“Tom! im- im so close again-“, she cried out as I didn’t let myself slow down.

“I know baby, I am too-“

I let my other hand massage her ass, slapping it a couple times too.

I wasn’t lying when I told her I was close. I had been for a while too, but I was holding out for her. I felt the knot in my stomach keep growing and growing, but I could feel it starting to become undone.

“Tom- im, im coming-“, she panted out. her boobs bounced every single time I went in and out.

“me too”, my eyes screwed shut as reached my climax. I felt her reach hers right before me, her legs shaking and a string of moans in the air. that pushed me over the edge, and I felt the knot become completely undone. I groaned as I released into her, my seed dripping out of her hole. I rode out my high for a little, but eventually stopped moving. she was catching her breath.

I pulled over and quickly cleaned myself before zipping my pants back up. I grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned her up too as she resteadied herself. i insisted on helping her get dressed again, despite her saying she could do it on her own. I put her bra and shirt back on. we kept giggling as I did. high off of life. I had wanted to keep the panties i pocketed, but she begged for them back. they were her favorite pair. she put them back on and then readjusted her skirt and hair in the mirror. I leaned against the wall, observing as she did.

“I didn’t think i would ever tell you I liked you.”, I admitted.

“why not?”, she asked, still fixing her hair.

“I think I was too nervous… you know I feel like your the first real crush I’ve ever had.”

“awww, im your first???”, she joked around.

“yes, you’re my first.”, I rolled my eyes playfully. I crossed my arms across my chest.

she turned around and hugged me, placing her head on my chest. she was smiling so big at my confession. I loved her smile. I loved everything about her.

“it’s okay tom, you were mine too.”, she said.

“Wait what?”, I hugged her back with a confused look on my face.

“I’ve liked you since I was like nine, silly. that’s why I was always so close with bill and not as much as you, I was always too like scared to be around you because I had a crush on you.”, she confessed.

“Really??? How did I not know this??”, I asked, shocked.

“I don’t know, you’re just really oblivious, I guess.”, she teased.

I laughed and looked down at her.

finally, i got what I had wanted.

her.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic #tokio hotel fluff #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel imagine #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz fanfic #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz fluff #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz angst #tokio x reader #tokio hotel tom kaulitz

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Yubel for the ask game?

YOOOOOB

First impression: *looking up Jaden's yugipedia page two years ago* "I'm sorry what the hell is this about him fusing with a Duel Monster??? HELLO?? HI????"

Impression now: YUBEEEL i like them a lot, moreso now that I did right after finishing GX...season 3 of gx is kind of a mess in a lot of ways but it's not really their fault. I'm not rly someone who enjoys "soul fusion with your soulmate" much as concept personally and I'm not terribly big on what s3 had to do to jaden's character to make that endgame possible, so that's not really my favorite thing surrounding Yubel, but theyre such a genuinely interesting and engaging character and yugioh villain. Also lbr her design fucking kicks ass. I wish she got to be a little sillier, a little goofier!! The GX character birthright!!!

Favorite moment: Yubel!Jesse vs. Zane duel, full stop. Still genuinely one of the greatest duels I have seen in yugioh thus far. tfw GX had a color and lighting budget for like 3 episodes and it slapped like absolute hell.

Idea for a story: im very fond of my College AU Yubel, very love the idea of them having to write an essay that Jaden slacked on and then they actually get really into it. Compiling knowledge of the Baroque period they have zero use for but find interesting nonetheless...

Unpopular opinion: I've talked about it a couple times before but I don't really go to jaden/yubel as a romantic ship; I personally enjoy it much more as a platonic soulmates read (like. idk. if they didnt have the element of "yubel has been looking out for jaden Since He Was a Little Kid" i'd be more into it i think. just not really my favorite, that point. and again just not big on soulfusion. but im aro dont listen to me fjdgsg)

Favorite relationship: that being said i Do really like the potential of jaden and yubel's dynamic and it's unfortunate s4 Is so short so you only really get a small glimpse of it. they can play off each other really well and there IS so much love there! i wanna see things play with their little individual habits driving each other insane. Yubels gonna reach into jay's jacket pocket and get a handful of crumbs and I think he's gonna be a little "damn bitch you live like this?" THATS my favorite jaden n yoob dynamic.

Favorite headcanon: I really love transfem Any Pronouns yubel. Also I know in my heart of hearts they'd be a complete metalhead, but like, also for music from two thousand years ago. Yubel is a very Iron Maiden T-Shirt coded character to me I will not be elaborating.

#ygo posting #asks #yoob also one of my fav ygo characters to draw...very very fun design

[narwhalandchill]

guys im sorry i swear ill start talking more abt all the positive aspects of 2.0 soon but. welp

(firefly rant TWO!!! now with otto apocalypse. okay not even abt her lol its just ranting about misrepresentations of otto and The Memes being made. iykyk. but anyway. spoilers and all 🫡🫡)

so first of all i dont go there anymore so the lore details might be fumbled a bit but also like the actual fucking disrespect to otto and WHY kallens death had such a massive fucking impact on him when u act like the situation there is anywhere NEAR comparable to the TB and firefly situation in 2.0 💀 "oh its just a meme" well its a BAD one im sorry

like YES otto has or at least had some degree of romantic feelings towards kallen but that was FAR from all she represented to him??? like the entire point is that in ottos eyes over time as he grew more and more cynical ruthless and jaded kallen slowly became less of just. a human being. and started turning into the actual and ONLY personification of all good that is even worth fighting for anymore when it comes to humanity itself.

kallen to otto was the literal representative of hope and humanitys goodness. and yes that degree of idolatry is fundamentally dehumanizing towards her too and disregards her personhood but thats WHY its so fucking interesting. kallen was just a human being doing her best to fight for the people and do good yet ottos perception of her grew into one stained by obsession and defined thru blind worship because NO ONE ELSE but her could convince him there was jack shit to the world worth fighting for

THATS where his obsession comes from. THATS why otto went to the ends of the earth and beyond to resurrect her all the while knowing shed feel nothing but utter horror at witnessing how far he fell just for her. bc kallen has NEVER seen herself the way otto did. kallen wouldve NEVER wanted ANYONE to go through the lengths that otto did (KNOWINGLY in violation of her wishes) for her. because she knew better. but thats not how otto was.

in ottos eyes humanity became fundamentally irredeemable when kallen was first vilifed and sentenced to death and then died sacrificing herself for the very same people who were going to execute her anyway. humanity proved itself worthless by failing kallen. THATS his breaking point thats driving his actions the entire time after kallens death and why hes willing to commit all and any sins imaginable to save kallen. because in his mind for a very long time kallen hasnt been just a woman he loved as a friend and as an unrequited crush whose death crushed him just bc omg death grief sad uwu. otto ALREADY had a completely warped perception of the world when kallen was still alive but through her death it all just escalated and turned him into the actually insane madman maniac we know him as. and because humanity already proved itself a failure by betraying kallen as the actual messiah-figure she grew into in his head there was no price too high to force the rest of the world to pay on his way to saving kallen.

so.

is that what fucking firefly represents to TB to these ppl????? the irreversible shattering of the worldview of someone already teetering at the edge of a point of no return??? is "omg crush died sad 😢" how fucking shallow do ppl think ottos core motivation is??? holy shit

ok anyway i swear ill calm down now HSJSJSJSKSKSKDK but like DUDE theres a Reason i actually bawled when that mf died in hi3rd and thats BECAUSE he was so fucking good as a fucked up antagonist BECAUSE he was never omg entitled incel (btw. do ppl like. know kallen rejected his offer of political marriage to save her life when she was already due to execution and that he. completely respected it? like. he let her reject him even when it meant certain death for kallen. i s2g ive seen terminally online kallen f/f shippers on twt act like hes some cishet stalker and i.....😭 like hate on him sure he deserves it but dont smear his name????!??) or anything bland or creepy like that. his worship of kallen and who he built her up to be in the pedestal of his mind is so messed up and toxic and tragic (bc he Actually loved her so much?? beyond platonic or romantic? but in all the wrong obsessive ways??? like its so messy) and genuinely interesting in a way u dont see that often in fiction and im actually mad to see his motivations reduced to waa waa honkai beast stabbed kallen.

like EVEN if you enjoyed and were emotionally invested in firefly and TBs arc. (which is perfectly fair im happy for yall!!!! dont let my hater antics get to u!!!) but do NOT be out there acting they had anything like what ottos fucked up complex around kallen is and was at any point of his life please and thank you. this blonde freak of a man didnt LITERALLY defy the laws of the universe just bc kallen dying made him cRaZY 🤪 it was FAR worse than that. HE was far worse than that. i rest my case

#honestly im so bad at taking fandom memes at like. haha its silly even if inaccurate type of face value #i just start fucking Seething 0 to 1000 in one secomd JDJSJAJSJSKSKSKHL #anyway . to all my firefly enjoyer followers PLEASE dont let my disappointment w her n the rants ruin ur vibe i mean this #i feel bad for being a hater 😭😭😭😭 but also not #rambles #hsr #hsr spoilers #hi3rd #i guess??

[temikoangie]

can you talk more about danganronpa 3 chapter 3… i’m very curious about your analysis on it and like, a slightly more detailed explanation of it bc i am deeply fascinated. only if it doesn’t bother you, of course

ohh anon u have No Idea what uve awakened in me .  Quick Side Note , i truthfully didnt know where 2 begin explaining ch3 So If it looks scattered i Apologize i am Trying. i have ay dee aych dee . also obv drv3 spoilers Ahead.

when it comes 2 ch3 thje Big Big Reason why i like it so much bc Come On im the tenmikoangie guy !!! thats their Focus Chapter !!!  but its also bc its just. different? from the other ch3 in other games ? while the past ch3s dont really have that much of a bond with eachother (as in the focus characters), in drv3 the focus characters are /deeply/ intertwined with eachother, including the killer to a degree. so much so, to the point that the ONE character who lived through losing Two of their Closest Friends, Grieved loudly on trial grounds, was able to start changing themselves so their deaths would not be in vain. Obviously it took more effort and trial and error on himiko’s part but hey, she’s trying!

also i feel like this is the chapter most people gloss over the most…? especially when talking about tenko’s and angie’s characters? this is where their personalities hit their peak!! most people tend to ignore the fact that tenko is a deeply caring and Very Emotionally tuned person  in favor of the more creepy narrative, and angie being someome who ALSO cares but because her decisions are more logic based, shows it in Extremely Weird ways. to the point where the people outside assumes she is manipulating people into her bidding ( while there IS the whole.. God thing, i say this because through her logical deductions, she realized that attempts of escape, accepting monokuma’s motives, flashback lights and nighttime stuff are probably factors in what will make somebody go for murders. she’s insanely smart and makes a very good foil to tenko, who may be Dumb sometimes but he is a good empath!!) 

their interactions r also pretty funny thru the whole chapter. why are they talking after one another is beyond me but i remember just whimpering and crying everytime they all talk . something is wrong with me !! 

ok aside from that tho bc of this chapter i genuinely do think that tenko, angie and himiko all do care for eachother  . tenko would not have gone out of his way to at least try to convince angie not to use the necronomicon !! angie couldve used the mole reveal to banish tenko from the council but she didnt !! and honestly we already know himiko's deal ( got closer to tenko during ch2 + was already closer to angie since liek . the beginning of ch2 ) . the point im trying to make is that they all had their reasons to just completely abandon ship and let the others to their own devices but they did NOT because to them their company or wellbeing is much more important! (actually angie not banishing tenko is probably bc her group is Moreso based on peace rathe thn fear BUT STILL !! she very much cares she just shows it weird . also she's lonely and tenko (aside from shuichi's fte) is like. the only other person who actively goes against her standing as a ''prophet''... Something She Herself  liked so. make that as you will) 

as for korekiyos . . . actually someone explained it much better thn i ever could but theyre liek . parallels to himiko . more specifically just as angie's and tenko's core traits really start to shine in her .. only albeit it turned into their downfall as they flounder harder and harder into the trial . everyone is a parallel of eachotherrr in their own waaayy . ............................. Sighs ? i wish more ppl went into depth into drv3 ch3 more i feel like there's a lot of missing stuff in there tht even I feel like i dont have much info on . ( this culd be bc i hadnt replayed drv3 in a while but . Not Right Now )

IDK i think thts most of what i wanted to talk about theres Definitely some bits and stuff i wanted to talk about but to add them here would 1) make it longer and 2) make it even Less comphrensible bc the way i write is so scattered and made even worse with me having to pause every now and then to try to recall details. sooo if there's anything specific u want me to talk about Please do Ask LOOL

#norse dialogue #idk girl as i said i tried to fit as much as i could of what stuff i liked and what stuff i wanted to see talked more abt #like tenkiyo... or the trial itself #idk!! idk #i suck at explaining bc my infodumps usually come out in explosions #BUT ITS OK its funny . as i said feel free to ask more about it if u need to

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi, I'd like to ask for a match-up if you don't mind. This might be fairly lengthy or idk sorry about that. I use she/her and I think I'm pan although I would much rather not use labels for something as fluid as sexuality. My love languages are quality time and acts if service.

I've been told that I seem unapproachable to those who dont know me, which is understandable since I'm reserved around others most of the time. However, that's not the case at all with my close friends. I'm far more relaxed and expressive around them.

I'd say I have very low self esteem and find nothing to like about myself so I rely heavily on external validation, but only from people who mean somethingto me. I fear being perceived in a way i don't want by them so that sometimes leads to me being insincere with them at the start of relationships.

This will be a cliche but I've had my gifted kid burnout lol. It lead me to have a horrific work ethic like even right now I'm procrastinating on revising for an exam lmao. As for my grades they vary according to how much the subject interests me. Like I score really well on subjects like Math, English and psychology but in subjects like chemistry and physics, they're insanely unpredictable depending on if I liked that topic or not (anywhere from 40-100[which is sad tbh wish I was more consistent💀 also idk the us grade equivalent]) so I'd say interest plays a really important role in my actions.

That being said I gain and lose interest in stuff pretty quickly so it is really hard to talk about hobbies or likes and dislikes lmao. But a general trend that I've noticed is I unironically like pretentious shit lol. Psychology, law, philosophy and literature interest me very much. Other than that I've recently been getting into astrology bc of a friend and it's kinda fun?? Lol. Oh and for what it's worth I'm a Capricorn sun and moon and Virgo rising.

I also really like writing and have a collection of poems, some of which are embarrassingly edgy but in my defence I wrote them while having an emo phase back in middle school. But I still enjoy writing poetry and other short pieces. I also like singing and I think I'm slightly above mid at it idk. Other than that I like spending time with people who don't drain me on good days.

I tend to mess up a lot in relationships bc idk I somehow end up convincing myself I'm not worthy of them so I self sabotage a lot. Idk if this is relevant but I struggle a lot with mental health but I sought help this year so slay. I can also get pretty obsessive over them due to my pretty bad mental health. And uhhh like idk but if those feelings are not returned it just crashes and burns lmao like I end up hating them, which is honestly awful on my part, but I have to hate them too get over them. But eventually that hatred fizzles out into indifference but idk.

But uh sad stuff aside, I love passionately lmao. Like I spoil the fuck out of my friends and people I love. Handmade gifts, surprise trips, playlists or idk, just lying on the bed vibing in silence I just like hanging around with them. I make all of their problems mine and don't stop until I make them go away completely, or if I can't, I feel guilty about it. I'd say I like helping people. I want to be a therapist because I want to help people feel better or at least let them have some semblance of peace. Seeing that my efforts have made someone feel better makes me inexplicably happy.

And after all that would looks matter lol idk. But like it's safe to say that I'm conventionally ugly lmao. But I don't really mind it. I've made peace with it.

Ok that was genuinely long so sorry about that ahaha. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and have a great day!

I match you with...

Jumin.

You're the kind of person that is hyper-vigilant about everything that you do. No matter how you came to be this way, it's something that you're aware of and you have a hard time turning off. You are aware that actions have consequences and decisions can do things to other people. One of the things about being an empathetic person is you are constantly checking yourself. It means that you're a good person who always tries their best, but it also means that you wind up limiting yourself in other ways because while you try to emotionally regulate others, you forget to emotionally regulate yourself.

In that case, you need somebody in your life who knows how to remind you that you come first. It's important to help other people but don't take off all of your clothes in a blizzard to protect somebody else and leave yourself with nothing. So having somebody in your life that knows how to take care of other people is important. It makes you a powerful duo in your own right when you're having a good day, but it also keeps the two of you in check when you need a reminder that you need to be taken care of. Jumin is your man for that reason. He can be there for you and you can be there for him.

You’re passionate, too. You like to create with your hands and that leads to you sitting around with Jumin as you work, and he chuckles in approval, working on his projects at the same time. He loves to watch you make something out of the tools you have! It inspires him to focus harder on the hobbies he has. It’s meant to be methodical... but you remind him that it’s a creative endeavor, too. A labor of love molded by your hands. You inspire your lover every day just by being the person that you are. Love is strong and true, and you never have to be afraid of looking over at him and not seeing the same love-filled eyes. It’s always there in his heart.

#mod kait #ask #anon #matchup

[anothertorturedsoul]

The first time i ever felt healing in the past years was yesterday.

It was the first time ever we kinda talked about whats going on. I asked if it was making him feel uncomfortable and he said no but he can imagine how i felt uneasy about it.

This alone healed some broken bits and pieces inside me. I never really thought that he cares about how i feel. At least he never told me. That might be because he doesnt want to make it any harder for me but how would he know that the contrary is the case?

I always say that i made my peace with those feelings, but in fact the first time i actually felt a little peace was yesterday.

Still there are unsolved questions on my mind. Especially one. He had so many girls in all those years, i assume he had sex with most if not all of them. We were never an official item but he could have had me like any given time tbh, there were lots of oppertunities, but he never did.

Why?

At some point me and my now husband became a thing, i get why he wouldnt cross any more lines than he already did at that point. Always touching me in some way, flirting and making me go crazy, he enjoyed that and i did, too. ̶i̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶i̶̶s̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶.

But before that?

Maybe he wanted to protect me from being haunted but jokes on me, we all know how that went.

Maybe he actually always cared more about me then i knew and i am something special to him. But my mind tells me „haha honey you wish“ right now.

While typing „you are my brothers wife“ echoes through my head. Thats what i am to him, at least thats what he told me once.

Big ouch.

This man is my first love. That one-of-a-kind love that drives you into pure insanity, can‘t think straight and haunts you at night. I already had a crush on him when he kissed me for the first time but since that moment i completely fell for him. This kind of love is something that you only experience once. Nothing will ever compare. I do love my husband more than anything. But its different.

I still remember the day i decided to open up my heart to let somebody else in. His mother told me that he loves me and how she hopes i wont give up on him. I cried on my way home so much that my skin was sore, when my now husband showed up and tried to cheer me up. He hugged me and I cried until his shirt was soaking wet. When he looked at me and carefully wiped the tears off my face, i realized that he was always there for me when i most needed it. He always wiped away all those tears.

I needed to let some healthy love into my life and i decided to allow myself to love someone else. When i was a teen i thought you can only love one person truly but now i know thats just not true.

The lovestory of my husband and me was chaotic and painful as well. All that drama with his ex girlfriend, he cheated on me and told me about it years after. If he had told me right away when it happened i would have left. And that would have lend me down into my favorite toxic spiral again. It hurt nonetheless. After years and years of jealousy, pain, rejection and heartbreak you decide to kinda move on with the guy who always was your best friend and seems like the most precious human being. And him of all people goes straight into breaking your heart.

I think thats my type or something.

When i finally opened up about my feelings to my best friend, because she saw this little screw in my purse, i was hit with a lack of understanding. She asked why i would still spend time with him, that i dont sound like a married woman, why i wont break off contact, i would only make it harder for myself.

The thing is, those two men are the best of friends. They are literally like brothers and my husband loves him more than his actual brother.

Even if i wanted to, which i dont, theres no way i could avoid him.

I know most people will never understand how this feels like. But i have found my own way to cope with it. Having my little crumbs keeps me happy and maybe one day i will heal and those scars will fade. But i realized that i cant heal them on my own. I need the one who caused them to help me.

̶i̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶e̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶i̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶y̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶l̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶.

[uopenthedoor]

any other former christians just wanna slap someone every time they hear c.s. lewis get mentioned..... like...... it's just never good......

its only 1 of 3 things

1 - him and tolkien were friends wow isnt that so crazy can u believe they invented the fantasy genre together NO. they didnt. least offensive option bc at least u might not be evangelical but u clearly dont understand the vast gulf between narnia and lotr in terms of their contributions to the genre and point blank their quality as fiction (even if narnia was for kids its still poorly paced, baldly racist, relies on outdated cliches, frankly bizarre, and lots of other authors did the same thing with MUCH more imagination and less artless sermonizing) and i dont respect u. side note no of course i dont endorse tolkiens catholicism over lewis' anglicanism i dont care either way but tolkien is a better fiction writer argue with the wall

2 - he wrote the screwtape letters, the great divide, mere christianity bla bla bla insert stupid book you had to read for youth group here. if you say this you are an evangelical and probably think he was literally a theologian. he was not. just because someone wrote a book and talked a lot about jesus to a huge audience of people doesnt mean they are offering some kind of profound insight or shaping christianity. he was a christian apologist, aka someone who has decided that you can argue people into christianity, aka the reason why the rest of the world suffers. christianity is not a "logical" religion, religion is not logical, it is a FAITH-BASED PRACTICE, if you try to argue someone into christianity who is not already christian you will fail because you are using completely different frameworks of argument. the principles you need to argue from are something that non-christians already do not accept as reasonable. this is why most evangelism functions mainly as a way of enforcing in-group mentality rather than "converting" anyone- unless they were already very open to christianity, in which case you probably could have just taken them to church with you instead of blabbing their ear off in the grocery store like a freak. tbh apologetics is just a huge topic that is hard to address just in terms of lewis here. i just have a lot of personal history with the argument "life is so dark and miserable without the gospel as consolation!!!" being told to me CONSTANTLY and it's just like....... is the consolation in the room with us right now. because we are all fucking terrified of having sex, talking to secular people, masturbating, turning to the things of this world, having new experiences in general etc etc etc like where is the consolation we are living in a mental prison of our own design. also who talks about theologians for fun anyway are you insane

3 - the chronicles of narnia are the best popular christian fiction wowww if only we had more like them FALSE. even if you ONLY read the lion the witch and the wardrobe and prince caspian, you are either dumb or have not reread them bc they are FUCKING WEIRD and have AGED POORLY. there are OTHER FAIRY TALES OUT THERE. fucking harry potter for christians ass take (yes a lot of christians dont read harry potter for witchcraft reasons so this is their substitute). and if you have read any of the other books? HELLO????? are we just going to ignore the horse and his boy and the last battle like those are respectively just orientalism distilled and women are whores who can't go to heaven. and YES if you read any other work of fiction by him you will quickly realize he did not like women!!

there is a secret 4th option which is that you like his writing on medieval romance from a popular academic perspective and if thats the case u get a free pass bc yeah he's good at presenting complex topics in an accessible way and i wish he hadn't used that gift for evil.

#well i hope none of the online christians see this bc im getting killed for sure lmfao #dont take any of this seriously please its my early morning coffee rant #and i am offering no citations #but maybe someday. maybe someday

[nicekaylee]

july 6

Public diary July 6th

Recently I feel like something shattered in me after listening back to all the hard work I did the past month. Im not gonna lie, I feel really lost and I don’t know what to do. I lost confidence for my voice AGAIN. And now I feel like I wasted all my time. I lost confidence in my time management because everything is a mess with planning. I lost motivation because I feel overwhelmed. I put all this work in and I don’t even know if it’s pushing me closer to finishing. Idk if I’ll finish by the time the show comes.. and cancelling the show is starting more like the right thing to do. I want to fucking cry, that won’t even make me feel better. Because I’ll be crying alone in this room that I Hate. And nothing will change. I hate being alone. I was already feeling alone.. years ago...and I pushed just about 3 more years of feeling MORE alone by committing to this album. Nobody will even read this. Who even CARES. This is what makes me go crazy. I wish I had actual help or someone to dive into my head to help me realize what the fuck is going on with me. I hate living with ADHD. At my level, it’s actually a fucking disease. this shit is like killing your self and still living. Because u lose time, and friends and meaningfulness in life. How the fuck am I 26.. scratch that. Read this. Imagine you are 26, but still in 9th grade. You failed every year since you were 15. Everyone around you is grown, finished college, have jobs, Love life, kids, have grown and progressed. YOU are still stuck, even though you have the talent to do just as good as anybody else. But there’s like a hole in your brain. And u just can’t seem to finish your final exam. So you fail and fail again. It’s insane. This shit is not fun. Life is not FUN like this. Y’all would want to shoot your self in the head if you dealt with a nightmare like this. But I DONT simply because I know I deserve my chance at my purpose in life. WHICH HAS ONLY GROWN FOR OTHERS. I wanted to quit art, specifically music which I was planning TO. Then I had a revelation after meeting this young person at one of my old teaching jobs. And it changed everything for me.

this person taught me how to love life again. because it’s not that i don’t love music and art. it’s that the world is taking away my love of it from ME. so i felt so inspired to do it again. but i felt like before i go in making art about me loving life. It would be completely disrespectful ignoring the pain that i felt (and still currently feel) in life that i KNOW certain people are feeling. and the reason i want to write about it.. is because nobody touches on it really. i need it for myself. and i want my pain to be heard. but nobody cares about feelings of one person with no merit. nobody actually cares unless you make a huge platform, which i don’t have. so i decided to decorate the most vulnerable, meaningful, most naked album, with the most offensive things i could think of. because ironically people would react to that in seconds.

i already talked about the process of making this. it’s a nightmare. i never learned how to rap. i don’t know how to properly do anything. i just do it cause my soul told me to. and it’s 99% me guiding myself through this. just me. no one else. . years gone by, im already kinda grown past this story. …but if i don’t finish it, i’ll have wasted 3 more years of my life. then i’ll actually go crazy. none of this is fun. and im so alone in this. and being alone makes you want to die. once this album is done, im never doing it like this again. cause it just makes you suicidal. i don’t like being suicidal. i like to love life, but im not loving life. end

[ashenberry]

Hi Ashen! Grace here! Okay, for your ask game:

1. If you could have an AA Game spin-off focusing on a lawyer we haven't seen as a playable protagonist yet, who would it be and why? (Bonus if you have any hc for plot/cases)

2. If you could main any weapon in Splatoon 1/2 without having to learn/take the time to learn it, which would be your dream weapon/kit? (Either one your love or one you think is cool and wish you could master)

3. What Video Game are you Completely Normal About™️ that you wish more people would know about/play?

Anyhow- have a good day! -🍮

WAH. someone who hasnt been a playable protagonist... probably WAIT I WNJDAOOIWS sholmes investigations ofc. avoiding getting into too many dgs spoilers i think a game of him and watson during then (if you know you know) would be incredibly fun however i have trouble convincing people of this because i just want "more sholmes" and they want to see what happens to the "main cast" and "sholmes cant carry a game hes comic relief" fools. non believers. AGAIN i dont wanna get too in to it because. dgs spoilers :3c ok i was incredibly normal about question 2 so its going under a cut

2. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE CONUNDRUM YOU PUT ME IN bc like. weapons i want to insta master would be chargers & blasters WHICH I DONT HAVE EXPERIENCE IN so i DONT KNOW LIKE a good dream kit :lc sajoidajkodk ill do one for each game tho Splatoon 1: E-Liter w/ Burst Bomb & Kraken. This is basically combining its 2 kits into a really agressive kit for when it gets flanked. does it have synergy w/ the main weapon? lol probably not but what are they gonna do when i have kraken AND burst bombs Splatoon 2: Carbon Roller w/ Burst Bombs & Ultra Stamp. WAH carbonnnn got. i cant say fucked but it got really weak kits compared to the first game. first games burst bomb / inkzooka combination was INCREDIBLY powerful giving it insane moment options and a special w/ range. honestly the perfect kit for it. and then the carbon deco build had the only seeker rush in the game <- seeker lover) and seekers also really helped with movement, the same way curling does with normal roller but in 2 they gave the vanilla kit fuckin. autobombs which are arguably the weakest bombs. at best they can let u know if someones in the area and they CAN kill but honestly i would perfer. torpedos or omg. fizzy can that would be baller but they werent in game when carbon dropped so. and its special is ink storm which honestly? not half bad. wouldnt mind it honestly but i never use vanilla carbon cause the sub sucks. carbon deco got burst bomb carbons best friend the ideal sub weapon for the weapon BUT THEN THEY GAVE IT AUTOBOMB RUSH WHICH IS THE WEAKEST BOMB RUSH IN THE GAME it doesnt kill like splat/sunction bomb rush, doesnt paint like curling bomb rush, and u cant fuck someone over w/ it like burst bomb rush. its most useful for popping the rain maker shield but it loses to like. everything but burst bomb rush if someone also used their bomb rush to pop it. WAH THAT WAS A LOT OF CARBON TALK anyways i think ultra stamp would be better because 1) close range quick kills when u flip with it 2) its the best at popping the rain maker shield 3) u can throw it giving carbon a ranged option 4) omg its such a fun special anyways im sorry for being normal about carbon are we still friends

3. GOD is there a game im normal tm about that im not normal about on here :lc gduiahjdsnkam idk lol i like mario & luigi dream team u should play that uhh. wah i got nothing :(

#ashen.ask #🍮 anon #WAH ty grace :3

[imalwayshere4]

june 14 - One more thing

Here’s one more thing i wanted to add to this for you.. and its not a poem or anything, i just wanted to let you know everything Dylan because im always here for you. Well for one thing i want you to know i’m glad you’re here with me you know that? and i wouldn’t want this with anyone else, really i wouldn’t. I also wanted to say thank you for showing me what a healthy relationship is. Everything you do for me is amazing and i just feel nothing but love when im around you, thats how i always feel when im with you, and i hust cant believe how i was able to find you honestly. I’m really not used to the way you treat me at all, im used to being treated like complete dog shit, (haha) and so for someone like you to come around and just change my perspective of everything is just insane to me, because i honestly never thought it would happen, i thought i’d spiral and i’d be unhappy forever, but now that you’re here i never wanna go back to being like that, and i feel myself growing with you, and you just make me a totally different person around you. I’ve never felt so happy with someone, even when we were just friends i still felt that way about you, because there’s something really special about you, and your personality, it’s just perfect to me, and done ever for a second think you’re doing anything wrong because you’re so great to me, and you’re the best person i could ever ask for( in like the wholllee world). You have such a beautiful mind really and i’m glad i can be with you and get to experience it too.

Half of the things i’ve written on here i’ve always wanted to tell you but i can’t because my pebble brain can never make it i to words, but i meant everything i said, and truly, you are so special to me, and no one had ever or could ever make me feel like you make me feel. I know i’m not totally okay, and i still feel bad, and depressed like i normally do, but being with you makes life so much better (like i’ve said sooo many times) and you just manage to bring out the absolute best in me. I’m always happy when im with you, you know? You always know what to say to make me feel better and you always seem to care and i can tell you do, and i just trust you with everything, and it’s crazy because i never thought i’d feel this way with anyone, and i dont know i just dont let people in and you know that and im just everything wrong in so many ways, but with you it feels like everything is okay, and you make me feel that with everything you do for me, and i really am bad with words and im trying to explain it and not repeat things and im trying to make sense but its kinda hard, but i just wanted to say that i really do appreciate all of the things you do for me, and i dont know if you notice but it juat means so much to me and im so happy to be stuck with you and be able to talk about doing so much with you later, and i can’t wait to see where the future takes us, and i hope one day dylan, you can get everything you’ve ever wanted because you deserve it so much. You’re auch a perfect person to me and i love you so much more than i could ever put into words and i wish i could show you more and get these stupid thoughts out of my head about you so you could understand it better, but its okay you know i love you, And im so lucky to have you. and thank you fir dealing with my craziness, and for always wanted to be around me. it makes me feel so special, and i wouldn’t ask for anyone else. i can’t wait to see where life takes us, because i know it’s gonna be good.

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

[lolita-lollipop]

Omg wait! I love the part 2, but can I ask for another alternate!! Like what if they’re just stuck, but they still need to feed, so when someone moves into the apartment, they lock her up in a room temporarily so they can get the new kid. Maybe Izuku, but then they meet, when Izuku finds their room or they try to escape or something? Would they escape? Would the family catch them? How would they react? Please!!

PART 3- YANEERE ERASERMIC FAMILY CORALINE AU X READER

- I guess this is a continuation (?) kinda.

———————————————————————

You’ve been dancing with midoria in the kitchen, just a slow stepping g dance, one you might see at a school dance when a slow song comes on. It was pure euphoria, peaceful, and calm, you just loved him so much, and now you finally have the chance to be with him forever. You let a smile break ok your face as he spun you around in the air, giggling like a schoolgirl, this was perfect. Perfection falls way to quickly.

“You know, I wish we could stay like this forever, I love yo-“ he started, holding you close, not before a loud crashing noise could be heard across the house, the sound of a shattering glass, and both of you turned. You were warned of the wildlife in the area, bears, elk, maybe even deer, you sighed, letting go of his hands, making your way towards the house. Your been here for what? 3 hours? And there’s already an occurrence, just your luck too, it ruined the moment.

“Gimme a sec babe, I’ll be back, just gonna go shoo it out of the house.” You warned, you’d seen horrors great and small, a little deer couldn’t scare you, could startle you heavily, sure, but not strike real fear in your bones. He muttered an”okay” before goin back to stirring the skillet of food, also annoyed by the sudden disturbance. You turned the doorknob, displaying a nursery, preparation for the future. The window right above the creme colored crib was shattered completely, spread around the floor. Yet no animal, just a broken window, you raised a brow, bending down to touch it, then, yeh door behind you slammed shut, and you gave a laugh.

“IZUKU! Quit playing around!” You yelled, and went to turn the doorknob so you could go hug you husband again. But it wouldn’t budge, and that smile was wiped straight off your face, you couldn’t hear him laughing, nor could you hear his footdeps, what’s going on?

“What are you talking abou-“ he started up, yelling back at you from the kitchen, but he was cut off before he could continue, a loud clanging sound could be heard, then nothing more. You panicked looking around, someone was in your house, right? There’s no other explanation, you tugged at the doorknob, pulling it as hard as you could, before it just came off, now you’re really locked in here.

“You know, we’ve been waiting for you” a voice echoed behind you, it made your spine crawl with a familiar sensation, you know who taht is, you’re just hoping you’re wrong. You paused for a moment, not moving a muscle, then turned around, meeting buttons to eyes. And so, you screamed. The man who claimed his title of “father” had been standing in front of you, reaching his hand out touch you. You made a dash towards the shattered window, of yoj could hop through it then you could go around and get out. Failing though, as he had his hand wrapped around your shirt, his fist bale led up in the fabric, he yanked you back, pulling you into his chest.

“GET OFF OF ME, DONT TOU H ME YOU MONSTER.” You screamed at him, clawing at his hands, a scream resonated form outside the door, Clearly belonging to your husband, which jsut amde your movements more panicked, you kicked at his legs, bit his shoulder as hard as you could, scratched him, rammed your head into his chest, everything. You were NOT going to do this again. How did they even get here? Where did he come from?

“You Need to calm down honey, you will hurt yourself” he spoke, completely unaffected by your attacks, he pulled your head into his chest to shush you, this time around, they had been prepared, it was a mere coincidence that you had been in this house, but to then it seemed like fate, earlier in the day someone had knocked over the shelf standing in front of the door, so it was fairly easy for them to get out, just to see you, little you, dancing with a nasty man.

His blood boiled, you left them just to do exactly what they forbade you form doing? You’re married? No, no way. That boy is as good as dead, at least he’ll have a meal.

“Cmon, you didn’t really think we’d let you leave us, you’re just too little to understand, oh I know, we’re protecting you. So please don’t cry baby, don’t be sad, we have a suprise for you when we get home” he spoke, dragging you flailing figure closer to the wall, bending down to open up the door again, you continued screaming, grasping at anything to fight back with, anything. You ended up grabbing the closest thing to you, a plushie.

you grabbed a fucking plushie to fight off a man twice your size

He shoved you into the interlocking hallway, shutting the door right behind him and l I king it, licking you in there. The only other way out would be through the other door, leading to the other side, to the “other home”. You sobbed, letting the panic fully overtake you, crawling fowrard and sitting in the middle, curling up in a ball, you cried, the door was locked, and you’re on the wrong side of it, with a stupid plushie as self defense. There isn’t any way out, how did you not notice the small door and get the hell out! Why hadn’t you noticed it? You could’ve avoided this! All of it!

All you could manage to hear through the thick wooden door on the other side were one sided screams, each made you curl up further, in pure agony, each and every last one made more tears aris eto the brink of your eyes, you knew, oh you knew so well that he wasn’t okay, yet you could do nothing about it, you hate this, you hate this helplessness, you hate them.

Then, the screams silenced, and the door Clicked open again, you made yet another attempt at dashing through the opening, and failed again , when your other father grasped your shoudler, pulling you right back. Hizashi hushed you, the hallway had heightened quite the bit, enough so that they could fit comfortably, he swung you off your feet, pulling you close.

“Oh don’t be like that, I know you’re upset, but there isn’t a reason to pout, let’s get you back home, this time, you aren’t leaving. Oh god you’ve grown too much, your still my little baby girl forever, don’t worry.” He cooed, walking with your squirming figure to the opposite side of the hallway, his husband was holding a bag of… um, remains, from that scum from earlier, eri was gonna have to eat. He almost cried at how cute you looked, even with the tarts, you’re just holding. A cute little stuffed animal, all sweet, his little baby.

“You’re insane, I don’t belong here- not with you” you hissed, trying to bite his hand off when he caressed your face, then bent down to open that door, that dreaded little door. Just to reveal the same thing that haunted your nightmares , the same rooms you spent being forced to cuddle and color, the place that you’ve been avoiding the past three years, your “other” home.

“Don’t say that, oh- KIDS! Your little sister did back!” Aizawa yelled, you could once again, hear the puttering of footsteps upstaira, as you did your first day here. You looked back at your “fathers” giving them one last tearful glance, silently begging them to let you go. It was so perfect just moment ago, why does this always happen to you? It was so, so perfect.

You should’ve known by now to realize that perfection, gets shattered with just a touch of a button

———————————————————————————————————

Thank you for requesting! It was super fun to do!

I got my inbox to work again! So I can see new asks, it started acting weird this morning, but I fixed it, so we’re all good!

Have a wonderful day today! Goodbye!

#yandere aizawa #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere erasmic #yandere erasermic family #yandere eraserhead #yandere hizashi yamada #soft yandere shinso #yandere eri #yandere shinso #platonic yandere #platonic obsession #yandere platonic

[manonblaqkbeak]

Motel Living

this idea would not leave me alone, despite me having like three other fics barely done. it is very random. i dont even know what to say lol.

2554 words

enjoy!

Today was officially the one month anniversary of Aelin moving into a three-star motel. She did not think she'd be here for long, a couple of weeks at most, but here she was a month later, and on a Friday night no less. She should have been out with her friends, but she opted to stay inside.

She had to tell herself that she shouldn't complain. That there were people that were worse off than her. Living in a motel was fine.

But it still didn't change the fact that Aelin wished she wasn't living in a motel room. Especially one that was popular with long haul truckers whose snores sounded like chain saws and blenders on the highest level. That right now, down in the restaurant/pub that was only six doors down, an important football game was playing and the patrons inside were cheering wildly.

Aelin missed the house that she had been renting the last three years. Last year she had decided to start saving so that she could purchase the house itself, since it was still on the market since the day she moved in. It was hard, but Aelin was a determined woman and she set her sights on purchasing the house—she felt like she practically owned it anyway—up until the day she received a call from the real estate agency telling her that the house had been purchased and she had to move out.

Aelin disliked crying, but the waterworks started the minute she hung up. She really did love that house. Had created a small vegetable and herb garden to make it feel more homely. Made it hers in the three years she had occupied it.

There was a tiny silver-lining, however, since the new owners were coming from the other side of the continent, she had plenty of time to pack and move out.

But that silver-lining quickly disappeared once she started her search for a new home in-between packing and work. Every apartment, every house, every unit she looked out at was taken by the time she handed in her application. Every inspection starting to become fruitless when she knew that she wouldn't be the one to live in it.

Aelin hadn't realised that the market had become so cut-throat. She knew she was the perfect applicant because in all her years renting she never missed a single day, never received a complaint. Even when the landlord dragged his ass to fix something, Aelin kept her temper in its leash and did not throttle him the way she wanted too.

And as her luck ran out and Aelin had started to truly worry about where she was going to live because while she had multiple people in her life, she quickly realised that she couldn't ask any of them if she could move in for multiple reasons:

Aedion and Lysandra were recently married, and Aelin hadn't wanted to burst their newlywed bubble.

Chaol and Yrene were brand new parents, their baby girl born the day Aelin moved out, and she knew the last thing they wanted was someone else in the way.

Nehemia was in the same position as her, but her parents had invited her back home while Nehemia looked for somewhere else. Aelin's parents were dead, and her childhood home had been destroyed in a wildfire a five years ago, and Aelin had used the insurance money to pay off her debts. She cursed herself now for doing that, but Aelin hated being in debt and she did what she had too.

Fenrys lived in a one bedroom unit and had the worlds most uncomfortable couch, so he was out. And while Fenrys was one of her best friends, she didn't really talk with Connall, his twin. Nor did she often talk with Vaughn.

Dorian and Manon were travelling all over Erilea and Dorian's younger brother Hollin was house-sitting. Aelin couldn't stand Hollin for more than a few minutes at a time and she would rather live in the motel for a year than live in with him.

And then there was Rowan. He had been a close friend for years, until five months ago they decided that they had liked each other too much to keep being friends and officially started dating (at Lysandra and Aedion's wedding, of all places). If they had been together for longer, she would have asked him—but she didn't want to rush anything, because Aelin could so clearly see a future with him and she didn't want to hurt that future by moving in far too early in their relationship.

So that left Elide, her lifelong friend that was more like a sister. Elide was purely on the bottom of the list since she knew her friend cherished living alone after living in a shit-hole with her even shittier uncle—but Aelin knew Elide and if Aelin needed a place to stay, then Elide's door would be wide open. The two had gone to lunch and Aelin had been just moments away from telling Elide everything and asking for a world changing favour.

Until Elide had excitedly announced that Lorcan was going to move in.

And Aelin's plan had deflated. Again, Aelin knew that if Elide was aware of how desperate she was, Elide would invite Aelin to stay, but since Lorcan and Aelin didn't particularly get along, Aelin kept her mouth shut and congratulated her friend for the new milestone in their relationship.

So, all her options completely exhausted, Aelin looked for vacant motels, found that this was the best out of all the options and became a long-standing tenant.

Aelin had managed to keep everyone away from her new apartment by claiming that it wasn't ready for visitors. Most knew that Aelin was house-proud, a trait that she had inherited from her late mother, so they knew that when Aelin was ready, she would invite them.

It was getting hard, however, to keep Rowan away. Each date night and hang out ended up at his apartment and Rowan was becoming curious as to how her new place was looking.

Rowan wasn't judgemental, and he wouldn't look down at her for living in a motel room, but Aelin was the problem; she was too proud to show him her new place. Even when she was at her lunch with Elide, she had to beat down her pride at just the mere thought of asking Elide if she could move in.

Tonight, however, Aelin knew in her bones that Rowan would ask to come over. He had a completely shitty day at work—one that ended up in the hospital because for the first time in his career as a carpenter, Rowan had somehow gotten his hand in the way of his nail gun and shot right through the middle of his palm and was off work until it healed, which Rowan hated the most out of the whole ordeal, since Rowan was the type of person that always had to be doing something.

So when his face finally popped up on her phone screen, Aelin muffled a groan into her pillow (because there was no way in hell she was using the standard sheets the motel provided, she needed her bedding or she wouldn't get any sleep), took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto her face.

“How's the hand?” she asked by way of greeting.

“It'd be a lot better if there wasn't a hole in it,” was his groggy reply. “I just woke up from the longest nap and thought of you.”

“That's sweet of you to say,” Aelin said, “do you want me to come over? I could cook you my world famous grilled cheese.” Please say yes, she thought, please.

“As much as I love the sound of that, I just need to get out of my house,” Rowan said, “I know that you're house-proud and if you don't want me to see it, I understand, I'll even wear a blind fold if that'll make you happy, but I just...” he trailed off and Aelin could see his pained expression even though they were miles apart.

“Seeing all your work tools is making you miserable,” she supplied. Rowan grunted in confirmation. Taking a deep breath, Aelin said, “You can come over, I don't mind. I'd be happy to see you.” And she would be. She'd just have to kick her pride in the corner. “There's a pub right around the corner from mine and the cheeseburgers they have are really fucking good, and I mean that sincerely. Do you want me to get you one? Because I only have snacks and canned food at the moment.”

“A burger sounds good, with extra tomato, please.”

Aelin smiled. “Of course, I'll text you the address, and I'll see you soon.”

After ordering their dinner, Aelin tidied up (even though the space was immaculate) and waited, and waited. When a gentle knock sounded at her door, Aelin took the food from the restaurant worker and was just about to go back in when Rowan's truck pulled up.

Even ten car spots away, Aelin could see his puzzled expression from where she stood. Placing the food on the small, round dining table, Aelin waited by the door and gave Rowan her best smile when he stood in front of her.

His puzzled expression melted away momentarily when she kissed him hello, but it was back in full force when they pulled away.

“Fireheart,” was all he said, and it said everything that he didn't say.

“I know.”

“You're living in a motel room.” There was no judgement in his voice, like she knew there wouldn't be, but it was clear that he was confused about the whole thing. She should have just told him. She loved her late mother, but really hated the fact that she had passed her pride to Aelin. She hated the fact that, deep down, she was embarrassed, even if Aelin told herself that she had no reason to. The housing market was insane, there was no where else for her to go, and that she hated herself for not saving more money to buy her home of three years.

“I am,” Aelin said, “but it's not so bad. It's affordable and clean.” Aelin invited him inside and sat him down the small dining table.

From his spot, he took in the space. Saw the bar fridge that could barely hold a bags worth of cold food, her toaster oven and the dual butane stove she had to purchase because she didn't want to have to use the toaster oven all the time. The tiny closet that held a decent amount of clothes, but didn't make a dent in her considerable mountain of clothes that she had put away in the storage unit she was renting.

None of her candles were in sight and no books either. Aelin was taking full advantage of her library apps, but it wasn't the same. Aelin loved the feeling of a book in her hands, but there was no space and it would have been silly to bring in her bookcases.

“Where's all your stuff?”

“In a storage unit. I considered living in there, but it doesn't have an air-conditioner and this place does.”

Before Rowan could say anything, Aelin turned on the TV, put on whatever movie sounded dumb enough and ate her dinner.

Aelin could see the question burning in his eyes as she stuffed her mouth to avoid answering that very question.

Why didn't Aelin ask if she could stay with him?

Aelin wanted to tell him, she really did, but was afraid that if she showed how serious she was, Rowan might admit that he wasn't as serious as her.

But Aelin knew herself, knew that she was going to tell him at one point or another. She could tell Rowan anything and he wouldn't flinch. It was her own doubt stopping her.

“That really is the best burger I've ever had,” Rowan said when he was finished.

“It really is,” was all Aelin could think of to say. Gods, she felt so damned awkward. The question was still in Rowan's eyes, even as he laughed at the movie and its stupidity. So to avoid it for a bit longer, Aelin took the take-away boxes into the dumpster outback and immediately went for a shower afterwards.

When she came out, Rowan was lounging on her bed, his injured hand laying across his chest, the other arm fiddling with her comforter. Aelin dressed in a shirt that she may have borrowed without asking from Rowan and a pair of sleep shorts.

Borrowing underneath her comforter, Aelin rested her head on Rowan's chest and the awkwardness she felt deflated a bit as he pressed a kiss on her head.

Aelin told him how she ended up here. Including her embarrassment and annoyance at herself. Rowan listened attentively, as he always did. That was one of the biggest things she loved about him, that he listened. And Aelin was in love with him, she knew without a doubt. She was certain she fell in love with him when he danced with her at Aedion and Lysandra's wedding.

When the credits started to roll, Aelin took a deep breath and decided to plunge into uncharted territories. She kept her eyes glued onto the screen.

Aelin decided to bite the bullet. If it all went to hell, she would beat herself up later.

“I don't want to fuck things up with you.” Well, that wasn't how she wanted to start this conversation, but she supposed it was the best way to start off. “I wanted to ask you if I could move in, but our relationship is just so new, and I didn't want to ruin our future, because I can see a future with you, Rowan.” Moving so that she could look Rowan in the eye, Aelin took the deepest plunge imaginable and told him, “I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.”

The smile he gave her was the most beautiful she'd ever seen. “I love you, too, Aelin.” Reaching down to kiss her, all of Aelin's doubts melted away. When he pulled back, Rowan said softly, “If you wish to ask, I'll say yes. Because I see a future with you too. You're the one for me.”

“Rowan, can I move in with you?”

He kissed her again. “Yes, you can.”

Aelin's cheeks were started to become sore from all her smiling. Maybe it was a good thing after all that she ended up living here.

Hours later, after another bad movie and celebrating the new milestone in their relationship (which was mainly Aelin laughing as she rode Rowan because he kept forgetting about his injured hand), Aelin and Rowan got ready for bed, and as Aelin rested her head on his chest again, she said, “Just to let you know, I'm going to replace your mattress for mine, because yours is hard as stone.”

“That's exactly why I'm letting you move in, I'm in the market for a new mattress.”

Aelin playfully whacked his chest and muttered what a buzzard he was, but soon fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for her future with Rowan.

#srsly what is this lol #rowaelin #rowaelin fanfiction

[ryosmne]

Safe Place.

Yakuza! Nanami Kento x gn Reader

Hello everyone, this fic is in collaboration with my dear friend @sunfloweroranges you can read their fic here :D

I kind of changed my writing style for this one, I'm trying out different things so let me know how it goes, feedback is always welcome, that's all from me hope you have a good time reading 💜

Summary: You're clueless

Warnings: mentions of blood, mature themes, mentions of murder and head chopping, language, yandare Nanami if you squint.

Grocery shopping is never fun when you're alone, especially making your way back home in the cold winter months, it gets dark so early.

A slight twist of your gut had made you walk back home in a faster pace. Turning your head every couple of steps, you never saw anything, yet this feeling never left even when you got through the main entrance of your apartment complex.

The elevator was broken once more, and you were already out of breath from rushing back, as you took the first steps up, your next door neighbor, who looked way too scary for your own liking bumped your shoulder on his way down.

Jeez he's in a hurry today.

Mumbling a quick apology, even though he was the one that was at fault, you quickly found the strength to run up the stairs and lock yourself in. Some short of commotion was coming from outside the complex that you didn't really care to hear.

That pink haired guy, your neighbor, who was build like a damn door, always got himself in some short of trouble, hearing him yell profanities or even throwing punches was a far too often occurance.

Why did he have to live right next door?

It's safe to say you did the best to keep the hell away from him, not that he seemed to bother with you, neitherless he was fucking scary.

Kento was ten minutes late, he was never late, except for the days that he had to clean up someone's mess, the days someone underestimated the power he held or the days someone dared speak your name. He wouldn't even tell them 'dont you dare speak their name' or anything along those lines. There was no warning when it came to mentioning yo,u only taking immediate action.

Naturally you were in the dark about all of that, Kento -or Ken as you would often referred to him as- kept you far far away from the darkness of his world. That was his way of keeping you safe and at the same time having you as his personal way out of his work and in his defence he didn't completely lie about his employment. He was an investor, just a bit of a different stock market than what you had in mind.

As far as you knew, Nanami Kento was an extremely successful business man, he chalked up his tattoo covered body as just his preferred style, since he is this good at what he does, he likes to say that his work place doesn't give a damn about his ink covered skin and the expensive gifts that he always pressures you to accept are just another benefit of his high profile job.

"Darling, I hope you didn't start without me." Wrapping your arms around your extremely sweet boyfriend you left a small kiss on his lips watching as the corners tagged upwards in an equally sweet smile the moment your lips left his.

"Of course not Ken, it's Friday remember?" Fridays are the established date nights in, you and Kento cook and dine together. More often than not you end up slow dancing to some jazz, or with you laying on his chest Infront of the fireplace, listening to his heartbeat, talking about life while he strokes your hair until the dawn.

Tossing him an apron, after he -like the gentleman he is- tied yours, you got to work on today's dish: Chorizo carbonara.

"You're never late on Fridays, bad day at work?"

You spoke while slicing some papers.

"Yeah, the stocks are all over the place and it's getting me stressed, but it's our night darling, anything else isn't of importance."

Kento always found a way of distracting you when it came to talking about his day, he is always quite vague and when his palm rested on the small of your back gazing down at you with those adoring eyes, it's hard to keep focused on anything other than him.

"Why don't you tell me about your day love?"

He always asked you that, Kento is in awful need of the calm that the mundane life you live carries. He craves to feel that, he still loves the power he holds over people, the way the mare mention of his name makes others tremble in fear of what the man will do to them shall they not comply to his requests -more accurately orders-

"Thankfully work was pretty good today, I finished grocery shopping so we could cook, I got us that wine you really loved too. The neighbor is being weird again but that's not new, maybe moving out isn't a bad idea."

Everything was like music to Kento's ears untill that last sentence. You had mentioned moving out before, but Kento always found a way to convince you not to. The rent was good, this house is close to your work, he would always reason with you until you changed your mind. He never pushed too hard fearing that you'd suspect something, but you only smiled and ended up agreeing with him.

You see, unbeknownst to you, your weird neighbor is Nanami's most trusted man, he's protecting you twenty four hours a day, even as you walked up the stairs today he dealt with another threat that was headed right your way. No, you cannot move before you know everything, but Nanami can't bring himself to break your bubble, he loves you and you love him, the real him, he would never scare you by letting you take a peek at his point of view. Maybe he should run away with you afterall.

"He doesn't look that bad, love. I'm sure he wouldn't hurt a fly."

Nanami knew he was capable of a lot more than that but it was true, your neighbor was an ally and although he would hurt lots of people, you were on the list of people to be protected and Sukuna took his bosses orders very seriously.

"Besides, my love, anyone would have to get through me first before attempting to lay a finger on you."

With the way his lips moulded on yours and his velvety tone, how could you not believe every single word that just came out of his mouth. Kento would die before letting anything happen to you, that little statement helped bring you comfort.

"You must really love my house Ken, can you pass me the butter?"

The moment your back was turned, Kento let out a breath of relief. That little voice in his head he always pushed away yelled at him to tell you everything, he burried it in the back of his mind once more.

"Can you believe that? I swear she drives me insane- Ken are you listening to me?"

That was weird, Kento always gave you his full attention. Perhaps he was tired today.

"Yes darling, you were talking about that Satoru guy, the one who annoys you at work."

Yeah you were, but that was while you were still eating, about twenty minutes ago.

"Babe, you're tired, let's go to bed, we can pick up where we left off another time, you need to rest."

The habit of staying up all night on Fridays had really stuck, but sleeping when your partner clearly needed to, is very much on schedule although it rarely ever happened.

Getting up from the sofa, tagging at Kento's arm to follow you to the bedroom had Kento irritated at how concerned you grew for him. He still feels you're too good at times, all the time to be exact.

You only heard him sigh before he pulled you back on the sofa, having lost your balance in his sudden move, you landed on top of him.

"Stay with me a little longer my love, I'm sorry I spaced out, I'm all ears for you now."

Another invitation for you to just talk to him, he didn't care about what. Kento loved the tone of your voice, how it changed pitch depending on what emotion you held or what you were talking about. His voice was quite monotone, like everyone else's around him. He had to grow thick skin and throw away all short of feelings, but everything he locked away years ago came rushing back the moment he spilled coffee on you six months ago. You hadn't even complained about the burning sensation on your skin as he helped clean you up, you just gave Kento a smile telling him that everything was fine and these things happen.

In his world they don't, someone can breathe the wrong way and lose their head, all it took was your damn smile and that statement to get him to need something different than what he had. Kento never thought he missed a thing, he found out how wrong he was that very day.

Sometimes he wished he never took the time to help you out back then, but that was only because he didn't know that he'd put you through all this.

"So I'm just sat there in a staring contest over the last price of cake, I won but my eyes still feel a bit dry."

You laughed, Kento stared down at you with a fond smile, your head on his lap and your hands tangled in his, brushing his knuckles and examining every bit of his skin with such care, God you were beautiful all over.

While Kento's hands were very interesting a small detail in the cuff of his shirt got your stomach to drop.

"Ken, is that blood?"

He swore he cleaned up, he always cleaned up before coming back to you, he never missed a single splatter. Maybe rushing home after not one, but two people tried to harm you today put him on edge.

He had missed a single drop. He was absolutely disgusted that even that tiny part of someone who dared to say the name y/n out loud infront of him and even threatened your existence was anywhere near you.

"Sweetheart that's probably tomato sauce from cooking, thanks for pointing it out, you know I hate staining my clothes, I'll go change."

Your meal didn't contain tomato sauce.

Why was your gut telling you that something was off?

Kento seemed a bit tense tonight, was it just a bad day at work?

He never really conversed on his profession. The huge dragon that started from the back of his thigh, ended on his left shoulder covering his entire back was just his 'style'. You swore you heard him talk to the pink haired man who lived next door but he told you he was on the phone. Everything little bit of suspicious behaviour you had previously payed no mind to, came to you. On top of that what was his reason to lie about a drop of blood on his sleeve? He could've said it was a paper cut or something, Why did he lie?

Behind the bathroom door Kento only cursed at him self.

Why didn't he lie better?

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #yakuza nanami #au nanami kento #jjk drabbles #jjk anime #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #jujutsu kaisen oneshot

[lildreambaby]

the 3d is so annoying, i literally manifest shit on accident and i don’t do it well enough that it comes out how i want. i’m trying to commit myself to it more so i get the results i want but let me illustrate.

i have accidentally manifested someone being obsessed with me… which was all well and good because that’s what i manifested, but it manifested as him stalking me. i affirmed “i am sp’s dream girl, i am all sp thinks about,” etc for a good long while and he stalked and harassed me for a good long while. facepalm.

so i learned more about what i was doing and realized that i’ve been doing it all my life because manifesting is just the thoughts we tell ourselves and we believe because the 3d reflects that as the “truth,” though reality is all just perception and truth does not exist and we perceive what we subconsciously affirm to be true. all that good stuff. by believing that i was a “curvy” girl since i was 12, my body formed into an hourglass, but because i believed that i was fat, that also became “true,” without me ever having to consciously affirm it, the 3d caused me to subconsciously. children, especially, are particularly talented, and i do believe that’s when we are our most talented at manifesting.

anyway, today, something insane and unfathomable happened, and i made it happen. unfortunately, completely on accident, but the 3d totally bent to my will. this time, i think, it is more to my wishes, but i can’t help but feel hesitant.

my sp has been abroad for the last four-ish months. as far as 3d goes, i had only met him in the four or five months before that, so we dont talk much outside of when we see each other, but we’re friendly and very flirty and have so much tension when we are together. of course, i thought of him every day, wishing for him to come home and wishing i had more time with him before he left, feeling bitter that i would only have two weeks with him when he got back before he left again.. now, i’ve only recently gotten back into manifesting and committing myself to this new mental diet. telling myself that i am fully capable of bending reality to my will, that i am the center of my own universe, and things will happen as i decide they will and in my favor. all that. well, i cut my hair recently, and i wore a really cute outfit today, and i kept daydreaming about when he gets back, i’ll wear this outfit because it’ll be super cute, and hopefully my hair will still look just as cute… well, don’t you know it, he came home a month early, randomly, on Thursday, apparently, though i only learned today when i saw him, with my hair looking so cute and my cute outfit that i wanted him to see. i had been manifesting to see him for a while, i scripted a date that we’ll have “once he gets back in december” before realizing i’d only have two weeks to actually get my date… and now i have six! i’m changing what i’m manifesting now that he’s here, of course, lol. it’ll be good practice with instant results.

what’s interesting is, i’ve manifested this same sp using an article of clothing (of sorts) before. over the summer, i made a necklace of beads, a little choker. i picked out the beds in colors that reminded me of him, his favorite colors, and strung them on with some rose quartz beads and plastic pearls and thought sweetly of him all the while, giving the necklace a purpose to bring him to me as i threaded the beads. i put a heart charm on the front to represent me, and another heart bead on the back to represent him. it was a really cute necklace, and i wore it to work a random day the following week, not even thinking about it. that same day, he randomly popped in to my job and came looking for me. i didn’t even remember i was wearing the necklace until i saw it in the mirror. unfortunately, the craftsmanship was faulty lol and it broke some days later (i let it go, it had served its purpose well), but i was amazed by it. today felt a lot like that, like i had summoned him back early purely by manifesting having more time with him and visualizing that he see my haircut and my cute outfit - and now he did and i have a whole extra month with him.

so yeah. little strange success story. it’s crazy, how powerful i feel, like this made me feel so much more confident about stepping into my power. i literally brought him back from another country at my whim. god lives inside me and her name is lana.

#success #specific person #loa #law of attraction #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #manifestation success story #success story

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

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