#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay

[the-kipsabian]

im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever

#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently #everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason #timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like #the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun #yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time #like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!! #but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it #i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass #i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out #like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that #and theres no point doing that afterwards #and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just #mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about #and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes #sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it #and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone #i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just... #im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me #im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay #im gonna go now. im sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[scoreplings]

so lame & also cringe that it takes more than a month to get over a heartbreak

#extra lame & also cringe that i got my heart broken by two people at once and really only one of them was being shitty to me. so now i have #this awkward thing with the other one where he still wants to be friends n im like sheesh. i kinda wanna die every time i see you. #not to ventpost but i was close with this guy for Most Of My Life and romantic with him for 3+ years. #and he just dropped me like it was nothing. and my other closest friend is dating him now. & me and that other friend weren’t really romanti #c but we were very intimate n ofc that’s done now too. just sucks. #and ive seen every single relationship that the first friend has been in & been one of the people he dated. and i know how shitty he treats #all of his partners so im scared for my other friend. but i dont want to say anything because there is a part of me thats lonely & jealous #and i want to make sure im actually concerned and not just wanting to get in the way because of that ykwim? #whaddevah. it is what it is. #and if my friend ends up getting hurt i will be there for them on the other side. #and as for me i have my boy and he loves me and that will be enough <3 i just will be mourning for a bit #it already hurts so much less than it did at first. i wanted to jump off a roof lol #fuck that other guy tho & fuck me for excusing his behavior as long as i did sorry. but none of that was okay. #not to get too detailed but i should have given up the *first* time i dumped him there was a reason and that reason was he told me to kill #myself and said himself he did it just because he felt like it & wasnt sorry 😭 what on earth was wrong with my brain going back to that #this last time wasnt even as bad as that he just accused me of guilt tripping him when he said he didnt feel bad about anything that happene #d and wouldn’t change any of it and i started crying LOL #then told me he hoped i would get over it & that he couldn’t understand why i was upset. #i just walked out of his house n this time have not spoken to him since. #the thing is i KNEW he was shitty too idk why i just. kept going back. #first thing i did when i decided i wasnt going back this time was text my friends who helped me the first time i dumped him and tell them #and they were so relieved & one said he was proud of me n i was like ah. so it was That Fucked i see. #so glad i am out but the more distance i get the more messed up things look and its. i dunno. embarrassing that i put myself thru all that #for a guy who did nothing for me. literally nothing utterly unreponsive romantically excelt for when he was trying to manipulate me into #smth and told me like two months before we stopped seeing each other that he wasnt sexually attracted to me i was just available and gave #him head. 😐. and it STILL took me two more months to leave. girl help. #i keep trying to say im over it clearly i am not. but i will be eventually. #bedtime now. goodbye

[fairyaali]

hello love! Can I please request a somewhat spicy sub!chat noir x reader? Maybe where the reader is kinda feeling him up and leaving him hickeys and he’s a purring and moaning mess? Maybe he’s begging her to keep going and who is she to say no to such a sweet baby kitty? If that’s not too much of course😌 tysm

Hello bb ! I hope that this satisfied your sub! Chat needs hehe (i know it satisfied mine so) I really love how this came out and maybe i’m willing on continuing another part from here) Thank you so much for this request ! <3

Pairing: Chat Noir X Reader

Warnings: NSFW, characters are aged up in college here :), swearing.

Tags: Sub!chat, Dry humping, begging.

This is how it all went down. He saved you from an akumatized villain. He flirted. You flirted back. Then you guys started hooking up.

You didn’t understand why Chat Noir would do this with a civilian but like every other person on this planet, he has his needs. He would knock in a pattern on your window so you knew it was him and you would let him in, you’d talk for a bit, ask each other about your day until one of you breaks and pushes the other on the bed or against the wall. He was good in bed. Very good. You knew you’d never grow tired of this affair. To top it all off after you both finished you’d sit in bed and talk about all sorts of things. Aliens, Conspiracy theories about the media, gossip about people and sometimes he’d even play Mario Kart with you.

There were no strings attached. You both made it clear from day one. There couldn’t be. You both didn’t have the time for a relationship, you both didn’t have the energy for one so you simply stuck to the title ‘fuck buddies’ until one of you decides to back out. This night was different though. A smile didn’t appear on your face when you hear the familiar knock on your window because you were stuck cussing at your computer screen and rubbing your head in frustration. You had an essay to explain Shakespeare and his works but for some reason you kept deleting all that you’ve typed because you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.

He knocked again, quickly this time. “I know you’re there, beautiful.” His voice was muffled through the glass.

You huffed and put your laptop on the bed before stomping to the window. You opened it and were met by the hero grinning at you. You, on the other hand, didn’t have a pleased look on your face.

“I’m not in the mood Chat.” You state and were about to close the window again but he held it to stop you from closing it.

“Ma Belle, did I do something wrong?” He asks, a frown on his face.

You shake your head. “No, I just have this stupid essay that I’ve been trying to type out for the past four hours.” You sigh and make your way back to your bed, rubbing your temples.

He follows you inside and closes the window behind him.

“Maybe I can ease your stress for a little bit.” He says, a smirk on his face.

You simply shoot him a glare and he chuckles nervously, putting his hands up in defense.

“Okay. No sex. Got it.” He sits beside you and looks at what you’re typing.

“You know you can leave right? If you’re horny you can go to your other side bitches.” You say as you type away, your eyes glued onto your screen.

Chat purses his lips, like he held himself back from saying something and shook his head.

“Maybe I came here for some company.” He says.

You snort and chuckle. “Yeah right.” You say sarcastically and look at him, but he wasn’t smiling. You gulp and your smile fades away. Did he seriously come over because he feels lonely?

His face was leaning closer to your and you were leaning closer too. No. You had to finish this stupid essay.

“Stop distracting me kitty.” You whisper and kiss his nose quickly before looking back at the screen.

He groans and falls back on the bed, playing with the pillow.

“I can help you if you’re writing about Shakespear, I wro-“ He stops himself from talking and you turn around, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“You wrote an essay like this?” you questioned.

He visibly gulps and shakes his head.

“Do you go to college?” You question further.

He chuckles nervously. “You know I can’t tell you that mon ange.”

You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your screen. You decided not to pry further, he seemed uncomfortable talking about his personal life and you decided to respect his wishes.

Your phone started to ring and you see that it’s your friend from college Marinette. You pick it up.

“Hey Mari.” You say as you type.

“The deadline has been changed to next week!” She exclaims happily.

You were filled with rage.

“what?” You deadpanned.

“Yeah apparently some students asked to change it because they were having difficulties so he changed it to next week instead of tomorrow morning.”

“I literally asked him to extend the deadline three days ago and he refused. I swear to god I want to kill this son of a bitch” You groan and clutch your fist in anger.

She sighs, “I know girl, but hey at least you’ve got more time on your hands!”

Marinette always tried to be positive when she could and you appreciated that but honestly you needed to vent. “Yeah, thanks for letting me know Mari.”

“No problem! Bonne nuit.”

“Bonne nuit.” You sigh out before you end the call.

You groan out in frustration and shut your laptop.

“What happened?” Chat asks.

You get out of your bed and start to pace around.

“I have been working on this essay for the past four days, knowing very well how stupid it was that the deadline was only five days for a two thousand word essay on fucking Shakespeare and when I ask to extend the deadline, the son of a bitch replies with an angry email saying theres enough time and that im just lazy.” You finally breathe and chat was about to say something but you cut him off.

“But when his privileged French pupil ask him to extend the deadline of course he agrees and you know what, I think it was Adrien fucking Agreste who asked him because hes the fucking pretty model boy who has everybody on their knees for him just because of his high status.” You sit down and without realising you start talking about a different subject.

“Yeah, I get it, everybody wants to fuck the pretty blond guy with money, I would too but at least I don’t look like a thirsty bitch every time he talks to me, some girls in my damn college have literally no chill and I swear to god one day I want to make him my bitch, make him weak for me to show those bitches what i’m capable of.” You were breathing heavily at this point and your face was flushed red.

You always thought Adrien was attractive, everyone did but whenever he talked to you, you responded normally to him unlike other people who constantly laughed at everything he said to try and get in his pants. He was a good guy but he was too well known for his own good and it made you uninterested in him. You thought he was out of your league, that’s what those french bitches told you at least. They belittled you just because you’re foreign - you knew they were just jealous that Adrien was always the one to come up to talk to you unlike them.

That was enough ranting for now. You look at Chat who was staring at you wide eyed, his cheeks glowing red.

“You don’t need to say anything, it’s just-“ You look down at his body and notice something. “Chat..why are you hard?”

He crosses his legs over the other awkwardly to try and hide it. “W-What are you talking about?”

You stand up and walk over to him and he walks back until he’s pressed against the wall.

“What? You get hard thinking about me making someone weak?” You whisper to him and he looks away from you. “You want me to do the same to you kitty?” You kiss his ear and he shudders, nodding slowly. Your hand moves down from his chest to his belly and your lips move from his ear to his jaw. Chat tilts his head back and a frenzy of purrs emerge from his parted lips. He was aroused, in a state of euphoria even with your small, light touches. Your hand moved lower until it reached down to the tent he had in his suit. It was painfully tight for him. Your fingertips lightly brushed over the bulge and he cussed under his breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered while you continued to touch his clothed erection and lick up his neck. He kept purring and moaning at the same time. You loved seeing him worked up like this. Your lips latched on to a certain spot on his neck and you sucked on it harshly, nibbling at it when you got the chance and putting more pressure with your hand against him.

He was a mess, grinding against your hand and breathing heavily.

“Ma Belle – merde,” he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “I want more, please.” He begs and you look up at him, noticing the red mark on his neck and feeling very pleased with yourself.

“More what, kitty?” You whisper and remove your hand from where it was.

He groans in frustration.

“More – I-I want you to touch me more.” He pleads. “Please.”

You smirk at him and pull him to your bed, pushing him back on the bed and getting on his lap. Before he could react you put your lips on his and start to grind on top of him.

He moans against your lips and throws his head back, holding onto your hips for support. You could tell that he wanted to take his clothes off but you wanted him to come right then and there.

Your hips move against his, the friction pleasing you the same, causing you to moan but grin at the worked up blond beneath you.

“Shit, shit I’m close.” He whimpers and closes his eyes, moving his own hips with yours to get more pleasure.

It felt so good but you knew you couldn’t finish with him, maybe you could continue after but your hopes disappeared when you heard the beeping coming from his ring.

“Mon Ange I-“

“Shut up and come for me kitty.” You groan out and quicken your movements causing him to part his lips and hold onto you.

His body shakes and he spews out cuss words in French while he comes undone, thrusting his hips up and whimpering.

You’re both breathing heavily, looking at each other both dazed and tired. You were about to lean in for another kiss but his ring starts beeping furiously.

You hop off of his lap and watch as he groans while he gets up, uncomfortably moving because of the mess he made between his legs.

“I’m sorry I cant finish you off.” He says, pouting at you.

“It’s okay Chat, I think you’ve done enough today.” You wink at him and he chuckles bashfully.

“Until next time Mon ange!” He says and opens the window.

“Bye Kitty.” You blow him a kiss and with that he’s off.

Maybe you could actually finish yourself off to the thought of him being a mess for you but before you could even do anything, your phone beeps and you see a notification from Adrien Agreste.

 “Did you hear that they moved the deadline for the Shakespeare essay? Pissed me off tbh.”

It was like he knew you accused him of something and to top it all off this was the first time he’s ever really texted you. It was weird but maybe you shouldn’t think much of it. Right?

#chat noir #chat noir x reader #adrien agreste #mlb #adrien x reader #miraculous ladybug

[corpse-husband-simp]

Fic recs masterlist

Masterlist part 2

❤️ =means smut :). 🧡 = social media au. 💛 = headcanon 💙 = blurb/drabble (short Fic). 💜 = oneshot (Long Fic). This means deleted.

Last updated 17/11/20 (Im taking a break) <3

none of these belong to me, full credit goes to the writer

If you know any fics that are not on here please let me know :)

Let me know if any links are broken :)

If you are the owner of any of these fics and dont want it to be on here, Please tell me an they Will be removed from the list :)

I Can only add a hundred links to one post so to Read the fics listed tap “Read here” :)

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@fairysimp. Read here. The prettiest flower 17/10/20. 💙 If you’re a fairy, so am i 18/10/20. 💙 Corpse classic 19/10/20. 💙 You’re on! 20/10/20.💙 Sucks to suck 23/10/20. 💙 What are you afraid of 24/10/20.💙 Cupcakes, sugar and sundresses 24/10/20. 💙 I told the stars about you 24/10/20 💙 Feather light 27/10/20 💙 Soft vibes 27/10/20💙 Danny devito 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ewritesthangs. Read here. Blurb 17/10/20.💙 Q and a time 18/10/20. 💜 Oneshot 22/10/20.💜 Blurb 23/10/20. 💙 Oneshot 25/10/20. 💜 Cake tasting 26/01/20 💙 The Big day 31/10/20 💜 Losing a pet 03/11/20 💙. Extrovert reader 15/11/20 💛~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@marvelandsuchstuff. Read here. Sleepness nights and Golden sunlight 17/10/20💜 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@corpsehusband-simp. Read here. Lazy day 15/10/20. 💙 Opposites attract 16/10/20.💙 Oops 1 20/10/20. 💙 Oops 2 26/10/20💜 Insecure 08/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@laysfics. Read here. Spell 16/10/20. 💜 Spell 2 18/10/20. 💜 Spell 3 19/10/20. 💜 Dinner 20/10/20 💙 Happily ever after 23/10/20💙 Bad days 01/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bastillewolf. Read here. Shinigami eyes 1 13/10/20.💜 Shinigami eyes 2 16/10/20 💜 Panic attack 28/19/20💙 Kinda sketchy 29/10/20💜 #corpsebride 09/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@sttalkr Read here. Your voice 15/10/20.💙❤️ My little pet 19/10/20 💙❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@artist-bby. Read here. Deadass 1 12/10/20.💜 Prepare for trouble... Make it double 2 14/10/20.💜 A tired man needs his Well deserved cuddles 25/10/20 💙 Belly rubs 27/10/20💙 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@fandomlit. Read here. Voice impressions 13/10/20. 💙 Destracted 13/10/20. 💙 Mad 13/10/20.💙 Fangirling 13/10/20.💙 Daddy (deleted). 💙 Flustered 25/10/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@skyeet-the-writer. Read here. Id never snitch on daddy 9/10/20. 💜 My mind is restles with the toughts of u 13/10/2 💜. You have my heart 26/10/20 💜 This is a shoutout to my ex 26/10/20 💜 And if you wanna stay, Please stay 07/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ghostgamer. Read here. Comforting you 8/10/20. 💙 Calm nights 11/10/20. 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@iamsuchasimp. Read here. Simp 12/10/20. 💙 Simply simping 15/10/20. 💙🧡 Extra 16/10/20.💙🧡 Making amends 16/10/20.💙 Headcanons 1 17/10/20.💛 Headcanons 2 18/10/20.💛 Miss you 19/10/20.💙 Meant to be? 19/10/20.💙 Alibi 20/10/20.💙 Trending 22/10/20.💙 Ship 25/10/20 💙 Headcanon 27/10/20💛 Popular 29/10/20 💙 Bodyguard 08/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@introverted-mushroom-san. Read here. Just a human (series) 16/10/20 💜 Confession 07/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@harleysarchive. Read here. Among you and me 13/10/20. Among you and me 2 19/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@storiesforallfandoms. Read here. Propostion 19/10/20 Caught feelings 04/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@star-gaz3rs. Read here. Unspoken words and read messages 19/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@locallolli. Read here. Corpse head canon 19/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@corpsedaydream. Read here. #concepts. Neon banter 19/10/20. Sore loser 20/10/20. Cold hands, warm neck 21/10/20. It’s fine 21/10/20. Beach baby 22/10/20. Im okay 25/10/20. Wine night 001 25/10/20. Flappy bird 26/10/20. Yeah baby thats Nice 26/10/20 Monthly 27/10/20 Painted nails 27/10/20 Pet names 26/10/20 A Long week 27/10/20 Crash 01/11/20 Wet hair and warm cuddles 04/11/20 Chaotic s/o 05/11/20 Car 05/11/20 Spooning 05/11/20 Carry on 05/11/20. Corpse does Your makeup 06/11/20. Healing kisses 06/11/20. Fruit salad 06/11/20. Stress and refresh 06/11/20. Pre/post streaming 07/11/20 A fright 10/11/20. Paint wars 11/11/20. See you in the morning 11/11/20 Golden hour 12/11/20 Swing 13/11/20 Carrots 17/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@randomafwritings Read here. It’s 2 am dude... 19/10/20. Missing prank 28/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@corpseglider Read here. Soft!boy hours 20/10/20. Mute Your mic 20/10/20. Attention seeker 21/10/20. Want some company? 22/10/20. You’re sus 23/10/20. Flower fingers 24/10/20. Jealous tendencies 25/10/20. Mirror 26/10/20 You’re beautiful 27/10/20 Flower fingers 2 29/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@moonjelly-princesa Read here. Simp 12/10/20 Next time 20/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bakubabes-hatake Read here. Muted infatuation 20/10/20. Sweater weather 24/10/20 Sleepy sessions 31/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@divinecorpse Read here. Date and snowman’s 20/10/20. Podcasts and announcements 22/10/20. You are in love 25/10/20 It’s never not for you 31/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@foxypuppy Read here. Secret snuggles 20/10/20. Back to you 21/10/20. Sweet Cakes and first dates 25/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@breathygasps Read here. A scarier possibility 1 21/10/20. A scarier possibility 2 23/10/20. Sick day 24/10/20 A scarier possibility 3 29/10/20 A muffin run gone wrong 30/10/20 Odd hours 12/11/20 A scarier possibility 4 14/11/20 French tongue 16/11/20 💙. Dog days 16/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@xoxoyourdad Read here. Blurb* 22/10/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare Read here. It doesnt matter What they say 23/10/20. Stars 1 23/10/20. Stars 2 23/10/20. Welp, i guess the cat is out of the bag 23/10/20. Stars 3 24/10/20. Stars 4 24/10/20. Stars 5 25/10/20. Sick boi hours are over 25/10/20. Disaster 25/10/20. Allergies are not fun 25/10/20. Tears falling down at the party 25/10/20. Stars 6 (finale) 26/10/20 Panic attacks suck man 26/10/20 Goddamit kid now they know Im a single father 27/10/20 Parents fucking suck bro 27/10/20 No! This isnt how you’re supposed to play the game 28/19/20 The blood on our hands is a Bond 31/10/20 Happily ever after 01/11/20 Parenting 101 03/11/20 Parenting 200 05/11/20. Summertime Sadness 07/11/20. Panick attack in gorcery store 07/11/10 Headcanon 10/11/20 Riddle me this 15/11/20 💙 Sorry 15/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@flowersforcorpse Read here. Under the bus 22/10/20. To distraction 24/10/20 The cat Got out 27/10/20 Marination 30/10/20 Limbo 08/11/20 Zoned out 10/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@apricauts Read here. A sleeping corpse 23/10/20. A lovely day 24/10/20. Nsfw headcanons* 24/10/20. Nsfw headcanons 2* 25/10/20. Nsfw headcanons 3* 26/10/20. The lion sleeps tonight 26/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@crystalg6m Read here. Trust 23/10/20. Secret player 04/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@monsterenergysimp Read here. Permanance 24/10/20. Reckless endangerment 25/10/20 Oh my god, they were roommates 27/10/10 Feel better 27/10/20 Forget today 28/10/29 Interruptions 28/10/20 Father of the year 29/10/20 Lock screen 30/10/20 Building Snowmen 31/10/20 This is halloween (father of the year 2) 01/11/20 Closer 02/11/20 Unravel 02/11/20 Snap, crackle, pop 03/11/20 Fluffy concept 04/11/20 Sleepy 05/11/20. Mute 07/11/20. His anxiety 07/11/20 Forgetful 13/11/20 Permanance 2 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@myherotrashbin Read here. Soft smiles and warm hugs 24/10/20. Just let it out 25/10/20. First kiss 25/10/20. Cuddles are needed 25/10/20. Well this happened 26/10/20. Just a little love 04/11/20 I just wanna hold you damn hand 04/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@mmonamona Read here. Beautiful 23/10/20. Petty fights and lonely nights 20/10/20 I Think Im in love with you and Im terrified 26/10/20 Halloween 28/10/20 Alls hair in love and war 02/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@uhithinkthefucknot Read here. Respectful simp 25/10/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@letsloveimagines Read here. Crush 25/10/20. Forever 26/10/10 Crush 2 05/11/20 A friend that is a Girl 09/11/20 Murderer 12/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@flowersbby Read here. Drawn to you 25/10/20. Hard day? 26/10/20 Dont overwork yourself 27/10/20 Star struck 31/10/20 Nobody compares 03/11/20 I need you 11/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@kakyoinsimp Read here. Anything for you 26/10/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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@sloppythots-com Read here. Reaction 24/10/20 Nails and reassurance 24/10/20. Hugs 27/10/20. Sweetie 29/10/20 Innocent 01/11/20 Believe 01/11/20. Eyeliner 06/11/20. One time 06/11/20 Favorite Girl 12/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@flowersandcorpse Read here. Shes optimistic (not me) 1 22/10/20 Shes optimistic (not me) 2 27/10/20. Marinanation 30/10/20 💙 Clasped hands 16/11/20 💙. Marinanation 2 16/11/20💙 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@readerwriterandteadrinker Read here. Pillow talk 27/10/20. The ten hour stream 1 27/10/20 The ten hour stream 2 28/19/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@euphoniumpets Read here. Agoraphobic 27/10/20. Haunted 27/10/20 Cuddle buddy 01/11/20 It’s snack time 03/11/20 Cuddles and thunder 05/11/20. Break my baby 05/11/20. Cooking 06/11/20. Nap time 07/11/20. Oppostite attractions 07/11/20 Baby bump 13/11/20 Flirty interactions 15/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@literatureteachervibes Read here. Opportunity 1 24/10/20. Opportunity 2 28/19/20. Opportunity 3 30/10/20 Where corpse saves her from a creep 03/11/20 Opportunity 4 31/10/20. Opportunity 5 11/11/20 Simp 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@struggling-with-time Read here. Dinner for two (at Home) 28/10/20. Translucent 28/10/20. Cuddle time 28/10/20 Outfit for the day 28/10/20 Movie night (horror movie) 28/10/20 Can i have my sweater back? 28/10/20 Size difference and snuggles 28/10/20 Dont turn green on me now 28/10/20 Sykkunos biggest simp 28/10/20 Rainy days 29/10/20 Dog parks are a good place 29/10/20 Penpals from across the sea 29/10/20 Cloudy afternoons 30/10/20 Stressful streaming 30/10/20 Comfort 30/10/20 YouTube video (ASMR) 31/10/20 Blind date 31/10/20 Halloween party 31/10/20 YouTube singer!reader 01/11/20. Cuddles 01/11/20 Funny S/O 01/11/20 Ocular migraines 01/11/20 Kitten calling 02/11/20 Our cat child, our precious son 02/11/20 Gifted collar 02/11/20 Suprise song 03/11/20 Fun fact 03/11/20. Comedian 03/11/20. Cat Girl 03/11/20 Ruben moves in 03/11/20 Painter 04/11/20. Lost connection 04/11/20 Lost connection 2 06/11/20. Cousin of a cousins wedding 07/11/20. Pokis friend 08/11/20. Pokis friend 2 08/11/20. Bedside confessions 08/11/20. Uncertainties 08/11/20. Working together 08/11/20 Among us promises 08/11/20 Spilled tea 09/11/20 Stuffed animals 10/11/20. Dungeons and dragons 10/11/20 Corpses brother 12/11/20. Off cam kisses 12/11/20. Being corpses sister hc 12/11/20

Mothers arent always the best 12/11/20 Soft voices 13/11/20. Shy reader 13/11/20. Without you Im just a sad song 14/11/20. Actress/actor reader 14/11/20. Faceless YouTuber reader 14/11/20. Reader owning an etsy. 14/11 Simping for 2 16/11/20. 💙 One last time 16/11/20n.💙 Nightmare 16/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@corpserose Read here. Mornings 28/10/20. Paint my nails 31/10/20 Snack time 02/11/20 Home 04/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@shelswrites Read here. The Sound of a voice 28/10/10. 💙 Blurb 28/10/20.💙 Livestreams 28/10/20💙 Q and a 29/10/20 💙 Famous!singer reader 29/10/20 💙 Fight 29/10/20 💙 Tall!reader 30/10/20💙 Hand 30/10/20 💙 Nicknames 30/10/20💙 Roommate 30/10/20 💙 Nicknames 30/10/20 💙 First night at corpses House 31/10/20 💙 Painting nails 31/10/20 💙 The feel of a touch 31/10/20💙 Playing with his hair 01/11/20 💙 Period 01/11/20 💙 24 hour livestream 01/11/20💙 Corpse in maid dress 01/11/20 💙 Knitted blanket 02/11/20💙 Dyeing eachothers hair 02/11/20 💙 Taking Care of his hair 02/11/20 💙 Playing with his hands 03/11/20 💙 Sharing clothes 03/11/20💙 Bisexual 03/11/20 💙 Imposter duo 03/11/20💙 Cat ears for corpsie 04/11/20💙 Holding grugdes 04/11/20 💙 Laying on Your lab 05/11/20💙 Studying 05/11/20💙 Helping him with his anxiety 05/11/20💙

Laying on Your chest 05/11/20 💙 Eyeliner 06/11/20 💙 Plus size s/o 06/11/20💙 Your hands 07/11/20💙 Putting eyeliner on him 07/11/20💙. Corpse failing at cooking 08/11/20.💙 Eyeliner and skirt 08/11/20. 💙 Cooking 09/11/20 💙 Like real people do 09/11/20.💙 Sleepy corpse 09/11/20. 💙 Comforting him 10/11/10.💙 Blushy corpsie 10/11/20💙 Holiday 13/11/20. 💙 Tired corpse laying in Your lap 13/11/20. 💙 Corpse having a bad day 14/11/20 💙. Bf not gf 16/11/20.💙 Long distance 16/11/20. 💙 Making a yt Channel together 16/11/20.💙 Playing and answering questions 16/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@rxvenclawwriting Read here. The aftermath of scary videos 28/10/20. Internet trolls 29/10/20 Sketched conffesions 02/11/20 Tiktok famous 03/11/20 Just a slip of the tongue 04/11/20 The Challenge of Touch 05/11/20 Q and a 14/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@imjustpeachyme Read here. Bumpy roads and broken promises 28/10/20. The mirror always lies 01/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ruby-lavorre Read here. Ramen 29/10/20. Dating corpse HC 30/10/20 Dating corpse HC 2 31/10/20 Holding out 01/11/20 Best friends hc 05/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@rock-c Read here. Kandi 30/10/20. Shortstack 30/10/20 The bassist 30/10/20 Movie marathons 01/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@b-star-wonder Read here Headcanon 30/10/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@moonlightsimp Read here. Cuddles headcanon 01/11/20.💛 Choose me 03/11/20 Simp 05/11/20 Needy 06/11/20 Shower feels 10/11/20 Social media au 13/11/20🧡 Social media au 13/11/20 🧡 Moving in 14/11/29 Pretty baby 16/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@anata-e-no-izon Read here. A Big whoopsie 25/10/20. Rivalry 30/10/20. Ignorant opinions 09/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@antisocial-dumb-ass Read here. Sleepy time phone Call 02/11/20. 💙 The impostor among us 02/11/20. 💙 Cuddle time 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bibliofilia Read here Ships passing in the night 03/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@reaperxrex Read here. sunkissed 29/10/20. First fights 29/10/20. Sports star 03/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@withcolebrock Read here Full of suprises 05/11/20. Close Your eyes 06/11/20 Distracted 12/11/20 Amazingly beautiful 15/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@souljoon Read here. Sweet 05/11/20. Infatuated 05/11/20 Whats up baby 07/11/20 Roommates 09/11/20 Roommates in among us 10/11/20 Mutual pining roommates 12/11/20 Comfort 15/11/20 💙. Not making fun of you 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@impala-1979 Read here. Dead 05/11/20. Their life had barely begun 08/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@abluecorpserose Read here. Pretty boy 25/10/20. S/o with Anime voice 06/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@the-writings-of-a-simp Read here. Roommate 04/11/20. Corpse in a skirt 05/11/20. Rainy cuddles 06/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@marvelfreakbrynnlee Read here. The elf in the café 07/11/20. The elf in the café 2 10/11/20 The elf in the café 3 15/11/20 💜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@syukkunii Read here. Cuddles hc 09/11/20. Corpse flirting during livestream 11/11/20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@pepinotpepe Read here. Wildflower 08/11/20. Wildflower 2 08/11/20. Wildflower 3 09/11/20. Wildflower 4 11/11/20 Wildflower 5 12/11/20 💙 Wildflower 6 17/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@auramindedd Read here. Oneshot 08/11/20. 💜 AccidenTell 10/11/20💙 First meet 11/11/10 💜 Under the weather 13/11/20💙 Period pain cuddles 13/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@takenbyheartstrings Read here. Burden 10/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@the-winter-sxldier-posts Read here. Moments 12/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@glxwingbakugo Read here Takeout and horror movies 12/11/20. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@softboiicorpse Read here. Always forever 12/11/20. 💜 Grocery shopping 13/11/20 💜 Final goodbyes 13/11/20 💜. Grocery shopping 2 15/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@nekomacam Read here. Not even okay 13/11/20 🧡 Not even okay 2 14/11/20 🧡 Not even okay 3 17/11/20 🧡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@thotasshoebitch Read here. I know you did not just grab my Boob 15/11/20💙 Rain on me 16/11/20💙. My hair 16/11/20 💙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse x reader #among us #corpse #corpse husband fic recs #masterlist

[cinnaminsvga]

body of mine | Seokjin (M)

→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn’t be too hard to handle…

{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}

→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut → warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), magical mischief that only zee could come up with, aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), dirty talk, breeding kink?? → words: 16.9K → a/n: IDK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL POST BUT HERE IT IS!! IM SO SORRY BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY @jincherie​ PLEASE IM GOING TO CRY I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS (pls send me your thots i suffered greatly for this fic i’m actually dying appa yip yip)

Whoever told you that keeping a hamster as a familiar was a good idea must have been an idiot.

It’s you – you are the idiot. Every one of your friends had warned you about the little vermin. They had begged you to kick him out the moment you found him taking a hamster-sized dump on your prized foxgloves.

You’d been in the middle of pruning the yallows in your garden when you heard a tiny squeak! to your right. When you pushed the foliage away, you saw a small hamster, cheeks puffed up with its little fists clenched by its sides, as pellet after pellet of tiny shits were pushed out of its tiny ass and onto your plants.

You brought him into your home, already making up your mind that you’d keep him as a pet. You have been feeling a bit lonely these days; surely, a tiny little hamster won’t be too much of a problem to take care of, right? You’re so excited that you even invite your friends over to behold your newfound darling.

“I’m going to kill that tiny bastard,” Yoongi hissed the moment he made eye contact with the hamster, his pupils dilating and fluffy cat ears tensing, ready to attack. You could see his claws begin to extend, so you made sure to place your new friend out of his reach. Lucky for you, Yoongi had the arm span of a toddler.

“Oh, c’mon! He’s so fucking cute though,” you cooed, tickling the hamster’s belly. It squeaked happily, nudging your finger to scratch the underside of its ears. Yoongi hissed at it from behind Namjoon’s back, his fingernails digging painfully into the gentle giant’s shoulders. The bespectacled witch didn’t even seem to bat an eye.

“Y/N, I’m all for keeping magical pets and whatnot, but I have to agree with Yoongi… That hamster has too much bastardous energy,” Namjoon said, wincing when the hamster begins munching on the sleeves of your cloak in earnest. You continued to squeal in delight, positively endeared by the cute little ball of fur in your palms.

Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.

You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.

Speaking of learning to shift—

“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”

“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.

“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.

“Well, Yoongi can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled his head into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–

Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he burrowed deeper into Namjoon’s chest.

“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”

“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”

“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”

Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”

You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…

You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it started squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.

“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.

The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift in a while!”

You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your nose, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.

You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking nor backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he did in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”

Your gaze traveled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.

He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments because my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”

Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.

And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.

x x x x x

[December 3, 11:39 PM]

Okay, maybe calling him a nuisance is a bit too mean… He’s not that bad. Although, you are sure that Seokjin would have gladly nipped you in the tit if he ever found out you thought so lowly of him. Which you don’t.

Usually.

Except when he’s being annoying, which is all the time. For example:

“Stop fucking biting, you little furball,” you grouse, flicking the hamster in the stomach. He gasps in response, or at least, you assume he had gasped since hamsters don’t exactly have the same vocal cords that humans do. What you do know, however, is that Seokjin seems particularly adamant to be irritating tonight, despite your numerous threats to snip his tiny hamster balls should he continue to pester you.

Unfortunately, none of your usual intimidation tactics work, thus prompting you to grab the small rodent and squeeze him like a squeaky toy. (And what do you know—he even squeaks like one too!)

“Will you stop bothering me? You know I’m busy.” You squint angrily at him, scowling when Seokjin looks back at you with faux innocence. This lil bitch wouldn’t know innocence if it shoved a finger up his ass! “You’ve been more annoying than usual. You even tried parkouring over my herb bottles even though I’ve told you numerous times that’s off limits!”

You feel only slightly bad for scolding him; after all, you are in the midst of preparing a particularly difficult potion for one of your clients tomorrow. Seokjin knows this, and you even specifically told him not to bother you until you finished for the night. While he often did like to interrupt your work for “life or death situations” such as “cuddling” or “spoon-feeding him some pudding,” he usually leaves you alone to do your work when you’re faced with tougher jobs. Today doesn’t seem to be the case as he nibbles ferociously on your sleeves, desperate for you to listen to whatever nonsense he wants to convey.

Rolling your eyes (albeit you admit you do it out of fondness), you gently take the little hamster into your hands, placing him on your kitchen floor. You make sure the stove for your potion making is turned off before you turn back to him, honking his button nose and waiting for him to shift completely.

Since it’s no longer his first time shifting, it only takes Seokjin a few seconds to transform into his human self, his large frame quickly taking up most of the space of your cramped kitchenette. He accidentally bumps his head into one of your hanging potted plants, causing him to yelp in surprise rather than actual pain. He glares pointedly at your orchids before switching that ire onto you, his normally saccharine brown eyes filled with thinly veiled contempt.

“Took you long enough,” he sniffs, poking you not-too gently in the cheek. He folds his arms, appearing to you like a child throwing a tantrum. “Well?”

You raise a brow, covertly turning on your stove once more to resume your potion-making. “Well what?” you say, stirring your small cauldron from the corner of your eye. Seokjin halts your movements instantly, pulling your arm away and half-dragging you towards your living room.

“H-hey! That potion is really sensitive, so let me go—”

“It’s almost midnight,” is all he says before dumping you unceremoniously on your old sunken couch. You grunt from the impact, but he doesn’t apologize for his gruffness (as he never has). You peer up at him, scowling slightly at his unexpectedly cryptic remark.

“And so? This potion is due for pick-up in two days and I’ll need to steep it for another 24 hours before I can even think to package it–”

Instead of replying, Seokjin takes his phone out of his pocket and thrusts the screen towards you. You look at it in confusion, confronted with the sight of his lock screen without any explanation. “It’s… 11:43?”

He rolls his eyes, though you notice a slight hint of disappointment clouding his expression. “And what about the date?” he pushes, lips pursed thinly into a line.

He’s trying to get you to understand without saying it outright – a habit of his that he’s acquired ever since he started hanging out more with Yoongi. Though the two are hardly considered friends, even Seokjin has to admit that being near the cat has caused him to pick up a thing or two, with his tsundere tendencies being one of the first.

You, on the other hand, are forced to play along with his antics. You know that it is December 3. As you try to rack your head for anything you might have missed, you’re pretty sure you’ve accomplished all your chores for today, save for the current potion brewing for the customer coming in two days. You think back on your day, listing off all the things you had done.

You had met up with Namjoon to pick up more herbs from his shop, you delivered more mana potions to the local apothecary, you passed by the street market to buy more sunflower seeds for Seokjin… What on earth could you be forgetting?

“I sincerely hope you’re joking, you know.” Seokjin interrupts your train of thought, breaking you from your trance. When you look back at him, you find that his annoyance has cleared. Hurt replaces his expression, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he waits for you to realize.

When it appears that you won’t be noticing anytime soon, he heaves a heavy sigh, eyes closing in defeat. His voice cracks when he says, “Fine. It’s fine. Whatever. I’ll just… Go to my room. Don’t worry about breakfast tomorrow because I’m gonna sleep in.” And with that, he swivels away from you, shoulders hunched forward as he quietly makes his way to his quarters.

Left shocked and even more puzzled, your gaze is stuck where he had just been moments ago, anxiety and guilt rising in your chest as you try harder to remember what it is that caused Seokjin to shut you out like that. In your seven months of living together, not once has he ever looked so dejected, as the handsome shifter often liked to push your buttons and tease you whenever you mess up. This is clearly not like the other times, so whatever you forgot must pertain to Seokjin himself.

“Am I missing something? Did I forget to season his dinner again?” Although it is entirely too plausible that you did, you highly doubt Seokjin would be that upset at having a bland meal. So what else could it…?

Just as you’re about to give up and beg Seokjin to tell you what you had forgotten, your phone beeps, a new text from Namjoon arriving just in time. You flick it on, your brain taking a moment to fully grasp the words you were trying to read.

from: joonieboobie to: y/n

hey y/n! are you gonna spend the entire day with seokjin tomorrow? yoongi and i figured that you’d do something special for him on his bday, so tell seokjin that we’ll treat him to a birthday dinner the next day instead. don’t have too much fun, okay? use protection LMAO

Shit.

You gasp suddenly, hand flying to your mouth as horror washes over you. Did Namjoon just say… bday?! Now that he mentions it, you realize that today is December 3rd, which means…

“Tomorrow is December 4th,” you whisper to yourself. You jump out of the couch, scrambling towards your kitchen at a wicked pace. Sweat begins to form at the back of your neck as you run over to your wall calendar, where lo and behold, tomorrow’s date is circled in blood-red ink. Circled by you, even. Holy shit holy shit holy shit–

No wonder Seokjin was so hurt. You’re a terrible, foul, no-good witch! The absolute worst person in the world! How on earth could you forget your own familiar’s birthday?

“Jesus fuck, I’m screwed,” you groan, slumping over your kitchen counter in defeat. You don’t even care that your potion has long since boiled over—not when you’ve already made a bigger mistake just now. God, you’re such a clumsy bitch; what’s the point of being a potion maker who helps cure other people’s maladies if you can’t even fix your shortcomings?

“I can fix this. I can fix this. I can—” You chant this multiple times to yourself as you rush to your nearby bookshelf, pulling out every book you own to find a last-minute gift idea. Surely, there’s something in these books that can help you make it up to Seokjin, right? You’ve made almost every potion there is under the sun, surely there is something you can brew that can bring back the smile on your lovably goofy familiar?

You’ll pour over all of these books if you have to. Despite your forgetfulness, your love for your familiar rings true; you would do anything for him, whatever he might ask.

A thought passes through your mind, but you shut it down for now. A last resort, you think grimly to yourself. You have a few hours left before he wakes up, after all. You’ll find something, you’re sure.

x x x x x

[December 4, 9:14 AM]

It turns out you do not find anything, after all. A halo of books surrounds you on your living room floor, your worn fingers littered with papercuts and ink stains after spending the whole night looking for a suitable gift for Seokjin. Everything just seems too regular to be a gift, though you suppose you’re only picky because you know that Seokjin is pickier. He’d whine for days if you gave him just any gift, and nothing grinds your gears more than having a sulking hamster eating the plants in your garden.

“Grandeur,” you can imagine him saying, nose upturned in that snooty way of his. “I require the most exquisite of presents. I, after all, am above peasantry. I cannot even stand the taste of wooden chopsticks upon my silver tongue.”

Frankly, you have no idea how he’d gotten to become such a prick so haughty, given that you know that he used to live on the streets before he had met you. Regardless, you’ve always been the type of person to be a little too forgiving, so your patience for his irritating unorthodox personality is stronger than most.

Although it might not be immediately apparent to most observers, the two of you make for a perfect pair. You are the calm to his storm, the logic to his insanity, the yin to his dumbass yang. While it’s easy to say that you hold the short end of the stick when it comes to living with Seokjin, he also grounds you and keeps you from pushing yourself too hard. There have been many long nights in the past when you would be too absorbed in your work, not even remembering to eat or drink for days. All it takes is a soft poke or nibble from Seokjin to jolt you back to your senses as he reminds you time and time again that your life matters not only to you, but him as well.

He’s your familiar. Your sweet, foolish, annoying, narcissistic familiar. It really might have been fate for you to have met all those months ago in your garden, though you’d never tell him that. He’d be much too smug about it if you did, as he never did shy away from proclaiming that he was your knight in shining armor or something.

Which is all the more reason that you fear for your life now that you’ve run out of options for his birthday present. He’d never let you hear the end of it, and you can only imagine how a vengeful and spiteful Seokjin might be compared to his normal self.

You sigh dejectedly, closing your last book and shoving it across your living room floor. “This is my fault for forgetting,” you say, rubbing your temples with a grimace. Of all the times your forgetfulness could fail you, you certainly would have hoped that this would not be one of the times when it did. You must remember to ask Namjoon to restock the ingredients needed to make more head clarity potions, though you suppose you might end up forgetting to do that as well.

Every potion in your arsenal of knowledge just wouldn’t work out for Seokjin, or at least you think so. The potions are either too useless or too useful, with the latter being a bigger problem. As much as you like to tease Seokjin for his hamster-sized brain, he did have his cunning moments. You dread to wonder what type of mischief he might come up with should you give him, say, a 24-hour luck potion.

“Though I suppose he wouldn’t be able to take over the world in 24 hours… Could he?” Even as you say it, you know in your heart of hearts that he absolutely can and will. Fucking bastard that he is.

With no other options viable to you, you did have one last trick up your sleeve. You might even say this option is worse than a 24-hour luck potion, though you will be making sure that he has adult supervision while he, erm, utilizes this gift of yours. This last-minute gift idea of yours is famous amongst your circle of friends, mostly because you do have a penchant for forgetting numerous birthdays and anniversaries in the past.

You’re usually quick to resort to this last-minute gift whenever you forget someone’s birthday, as you trust that your friends would never misuse your kindness in any way. But like most things, Seokjin is a different case entirely. As you have mentioned before, Seokjin… has ways of getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Added with the fact that you were unquestionably whipped for his hamster ass, he most often can get you to do things that aren’t what most would consider being “morally sound.” You may love him, but you certainly don’t trust him.

Long story short, you are slightly terrified of giving him ten wishes for his birthday. Ten wishes that will allow him to ask you to do anything for him, as long as they’re within your abilities of course. If anyone were to find out that you were even considering offering wishes to Seokjin, much less ten wishes, you are sure that they would throttle you for the premeditated mass destruction of the human population.

Which is why you’re going to have to make some rules for the little rodent, and hope to all the deities up above that he doesn’t find a loophole of sorts. Hopefully.

It’s nearing 9:30 AM when you manage to muster up enough courage to tiptoe noiselessly into his room, not bothering to knock as you know that he will most likely ignore you. Your heart pangs when you see him curled up into a ball in his bed, still in his human form as you had not been able to transform him back into a hamster before he had stormed off the night before. He has his back turned away from the door, but you know he’s awake when you hear his muffled sniffles. Your previous trepidation is replaced with guilt immediately, causing you to lower your head in shame.

“Seokjin? Sweetie?” You say his name hesitantly, unsurprised when the shifter refuses to look at you. You pad softly towards his bed, your knee digging into the soft mattress but not daring to come closer. You want desperately to cuddle with him in bed, always having appreciated his higher body temperature, especially during the colder months.

“I’m so sorry for forgetting your birthday, Seokjinnie. I know I’m a big fool for forgetting such an important day, but I really hope you can forgive me,” your voice grows softer the more you speak, dropping to a whisper by the end of your sentence. The room is silent, save for the sound of Seokjin’s breathing and your rapidly beating heart. Your mouth feels like sandpaper when you continue, “I know this might not make it up to you entirely, but I do have a gift that I want to share with you.”

At the mention of the word “gift,” you can see the way the small hamster ears perched on his head start to twitch. You smile secretively to yourself, knowing that you finally got his attention. “Come on, sweetie. Don’t you want to know what your present is?”

With a loud sigh, Seokjin rolls over to face you, his cheeks blotchy with tear stains and dried snot. You nearly cry out at the sight, but you keep your guilt to yourself, now more eager than ever to right your wrongs. You hate seeing him cry, most especially when it is you who had made him shed those tears.

“You got me a gift?” His voice is hoarse, but his curiosity is plain as day.

You nod happily, clapping your hands with excitement. “Yup! I know this will be the first time Seokjinnie is celebrating his birthday with me, so I thought long and hard about this—” a complete lie, but he doesn’t have to know that, “—and I thought it would be great if I gave you ten wishes for your birthday!”

There is a pause. In lieu of a response, Seokjin just sits up in bed, pushing off his blankets and blinking rapidly at you in disbelief. He rubs his eyes once, twice, but it still seems like he can’t believe what he’s seeing (and hearing). His mouth opens and closes, before finally saying, “Excuse me?”

You arch a brow, slightly confused as to why Seokjin seemed so astonished. “What? Do you not want ten wishes for your birthday?”

Seokjin shakes his head, looking like a possessed bobblehead with how quickly he moves. “No, of course I do! I just… You trust me enough to make ten wishes? Me?”

You cringe. “Well, trust is a strong word…”

“I knew it!” Seokjin scoffs, pointing at you accusingly. He flops back onto the bed, a deep pout on his face. “My ten wishes are probably gonna be stuff like ‘No cooking duties for a month!’ or something equally as lame.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, yes that could be one of your wishes if you so desired. But no, you can ask for fun stuff too.”

Seokjin raises a finger. “Oh really? Then how about—”

“No wishes that will allow you to attain world domination,” you interrupt, watching amusedly when he immediately deflates.

“Aww,” Seokjin mutters, dropping his finger. A second later, he raises the same finger again. “Then—”

“And no bodily augmentations as well,” you add.

Seokjin looks down at his crotch dejectedly. “Aww!” Seokjin repeats. ”Then what else am I supposed to ask for?!”

You shrug, tapping your chin. “Well, is there anything else in that empty skull of yours that you might want? There should be something you want that you can’t have.”

For a moment, Seokjin’s expression turns cloudy, like he usually does when he’s thinking deeply about something. It might have been the trick of the morning light, but you swear he gives you a quick once over, tongue poking out to wet his chapped lips. “I have an idea,” he says, voice low.

You feel your palms begin to sweat, unused to the dark look on Seokjin’s face. Anticipation fills you as you both stare at each other, neither willing to back down. “Y-yes?” you say, suddenly nervous to hear his response.

He smirks, tilting his head with contemplation. “I want…”

What? What do you want? You squeeze your fists unknowingly, forcibly keeping yourself from squeezing other parts of your body. Could it be..? No…

“Seokjin—”

“I want to beat Jeon Jungkook in a spicy noodle challenge. Just once in my fucking life!” Seokjin hollers, punching his pillow in the midst of his unexpected fury. His eyes are blazing, cheeks puffed up due to his unbridled hamster-y rage. “That little bunny bitch! Thinks he’s hot shit just because he can eat two more cups of spicy ramen more than me? Well, I want him to finally get a taste of his own medicine!”

You feel your shoulders sag in relief, wondering where on earth your brain had been going just a moment ago. “You… You want to get a spice resistance potion? Yeah, I can do that for you. Give me a second,” you say, dashing out of his room like your ass is on fire, afraid that he might notice the blush dusting the tops of your ears. You mentally slap yourself, biting the insides of your cheeks to keep from strangling yourself. Keep it together, Y/N. Remember how much of an idiot he is and you’ll be fine… Just don’t think too hard about it.

Lucky for Seokjin, spice resistance potions are quick enough to make and it only takes you 10 minutes to cork the finished concoction for him. You scurry back to his bedroom, about to hand the small vial over to him when the words get caught in your throat. You’re momentarily paralyzed by the sight of his naked back, his ocean-wide broad shoulders on full display for your wandering eyes to feast on. Naked Seokjin isn’t even a rare occurrence in your household, but it doesn’t get easier to witness even as the days go by. In fact, you guess it only gets harder for you, pun intended.

Thankfully (or unthankfully), Seokjin slips on a clean shirt before turning to you, his expression lighting up when he sees you (with your mouth still fully agape) with the potion in hand. “Nice one, Y/N!” He takes the vial from you, peering at the minty green color with glee. “Oh damn, when I see that little shithead, he’s not gonna know what hit him!”

“Are you gonna go challenge him today?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I’d rather spend my birthday doing other things. Plus, I already have better ideas for the remaining nine wishes I have left.”

“Such as?”

He pats your head a little condescendingly, a devious smirk playing on his lips. “No need to worry your little head, Y/N. You don’t even need to work for four wishes, because I know for a fact that you have these potions in your stock,” he says, laughing maniacally as he scampers off to your basement storage.

“Seokjin!” You call out to him, wondering not for the first time how he always manages to outrun you despite doing nothing all day except eat sunflower seeds and play videogames all day. Though you assume it might have to do with his rodent DNA, as the little shit always did manage to slip from your fingers when you’re strangling holding him in his tiny furry form.

When you get to your cellar, you find him rummaging through your stores and softly humming a tune as he takes his time sorting through your potions. You try to peek over his shoulders to see what he’s doing, but it’s a lost cause as his entire frame somehow manages to block your entire view. Fuck him and his doorframe shoulders.

“Hey, I heard that!” Seokjin says, making you realize belatedly that you did say it out loud—not that you particularly cared if he heard. You’ve thought and said worse, plus he knows it. He thrives on being an asshole.

“Can you at least tell me what you want? I can find them for you too, as long as they aren’t… too dangerous,” you say the last part skeptically, not knowing what is categorized as “dangerous” when it comes to him. For all you know, he could somehow find a way to kill a man with a healing potion.

“No, no. I got it. Here,” he hands you a medium-sized vial filled with a colorless liquid. When you turn the bottle over, you see that you labeled it as one of your hair color changing mood potions, a popular novelty potion that you sold to kids at the market sometimes.

“Why on earth would you want this?” You snort. “Let me guess… You want to feed this to Yoongi so that you can anticipate whenever he’s about to scratch your eyeballs?”

“Close, but not quite! I want you to drink it,” Seokjin says, poking his head out of the cupboard to give you a quick smile. He winks at you, which you do not return. “Come on then. Drink up!”

You squint at him incredulously. When he doesn’t seem to be joking, you exclaim, “Hold on. Why on earth do you want me to drink this?”

But Seokjin has already shoved his head back into the cupboard, the sound of bottles clinking together nearly drowning out his voice as he struggles to find the other potions he’s looking for. “No particular reason! I just never see you with crazy hair colors and I always wondered how you’d look like in pink. I think it’d suit you.”

You flush darkly in response, stammering loudly at his brazenness. “But pink is the color for…” You trail off, embarrassment short-circuiting your brain. No way he could mean… that, could he?!

“Pink is for happiness, right?” Seokjin says after a moment, not noticing your awkward demeanor as he finally exits the cupboard, three other bottles cradled carefully in his arms. He closes the wooden door with his foot, walking out of the cellar with his prizes and not bothering to check if your dumbfounded self is following suit.

It takes a second for you to snap out of your stupor, yelping when he nearly slams the basement door on your face. “No, you idiot! Yellow is for happiness! Oh Merlin, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” you curse, treading closely on his heels.

Seokjin looks at you with confusion, but he thankfully doesn’t ask what specific mood the color pink represents. “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to live with yellow hair all day.”

“And why is that?” you say lamely.

“Because I’ll get to see how happy you are to be with me! After all, I am so incredibly handsome,” Seokjin laughs haughtily. He waits for you to open the door back to the house, his resounding laughter sounding even louder when you both enter, given the acoustics of your home.

“Then I guess my hair will be blue all day instead,” you scoff, pinching him lightly in the side.

“Oh? Because you’re sad that you can’t be as pretty as me? Understandable,” he nods sagely. “Or perhaps you’ll turn green with envy because you can’t be as pretty as me? Or even orange with fear, because you can’t be as pretty as—”

After living with him for so long, you’ve long since developed the ability to mute him out without needing to plug your ears with anything. It’s a necessary skill that you pride yourself in having, as it allows you to live in peace with the insufferable twat. You pity anyone who has ever had to live with him for an extended period of time; dear Merlin, you hope to meet his mother someday, as she must have been incredibly powerful to birth such a beast into existence and raise him willingly, too.

“Hey, are you listening to me? Are you muting me again? ON MY BIRTHDAY? Stop that!” Seokjin whines, poking you in the cheek. You startle slightly, pointing him with an annoyed look.

“Sorry, your highness. Does that count as one of your wishes? Because I honestly don’t think I can handle listening to you ALL DAY. I may be a talented witch, but even I don’t think that’s within my capabilities.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out petulantly. “Whatever. Just drink the potion already, will you? Or would you rather I ask for a mind-reading potion instead?”

That shut you up quickly. You shudder at the thought of Seokjin with any sort of telepathic powers. You don’t consider yourself a saint, but you feel as though it’s your duty to keep him away from any sort of power. The world should thank you for your service, honestly.

Without further ado, you pop the cork off the bottle, downing the plasticky tasting potion in one big gulp. “Ugh. I don’t know why kids love this stuff. Tastes like shit.” You grimace, rushing to your kitchen to grab a glass of water.

On your way there, you notice your hair color begins to change from the mirror you keep above the kitchen sink. Your roots are starting to gain a light brown color, the default shade of the potion, but the color quickly drains out as you take your first sip of water. By the time the terrible taste is out of your tongue, your hair has turned completely gray. You finger your tresses, staring at its unnatural steeliness. “Well, at least we know it works. Gray means neutral if I remember correctly.”

“Damn, so this is how you’d look when you turn 50. Would still bang, not gonna lie,” Seokjin whistles, narrowly missing a jab to the stomach from you.

“No one asked for your opinion,” you retort hotly, hoping to the heavens that your hair isn’t changing color again.

Judging from Seokjin’s smirk, your prayers are useless. He cards a hand through your hair, admiring its new color. “Oh, interesting! Purple is for embarrassment, right? Wow, this is gonna be much more fun than I would have imagined!”

“A-anyway,” you slap his hand away, taking a step away from him to keep him from seeing your burning face (though it’s not like you hadn’t already been exposed anyway. Stupid magic potion.) You point to the three remaining bottles he had stolen from your basement, eager to divert the conversation away from the topic of your vulnerable emotions. “What about these? What on earth would you need—” You turn one of the bottles upside down, reading the label. “An illusion potion? Oh Seokjin, I don’t know about this one…”

Seokjin groans. “Oh, come on! The only rules you had were no world domination and no body augmentation, but you never said anything about fake body augmentation!”

“Trust you to find a loophole in any given circumstance,” you sigh, rubbing your temples in a futile attempt to stall the incoming migraine (too late for that, given that the personified version of a headache happens to live with you.) “Okay, fine. Tell me what you’re gonna use it for and then I’ll decide.”

“Simple,” Seokjin snaps his fingers. He trails his hands to his ass, squeezing the globes of fat with a sad sigh. “I want people to think I have an ass thicker than Park Jimin’s.”

For some indiscernible, unconnected reason, you feel as though one of the blood vessels in your brain just popped. In any case, having a stroke might be a better fate than continuing to live in the same universe as the withered toenail in front of you. “I beg you to repeat that sentence. Think about your words first, really grasp their true meaning. Try to remember what it’s like to have functioning brain cells. Then try to repeat your words with a straight face.”

“I. Want. People. To. Think. I. Have. An. Ass. Thicker. Than. Park. Jimin’s.” Seokjin repeats, his expression as flat as his ass. “Are you happy now? Will you grant my wish, please? You said no bodily augmentations, so having the illusion that I have thick ass should be perfectly acceptable, is it not?”

“I rue the day you learned to speak the human language.” You sigh irritably, pocketing the offending potion. When Seokjin begins to protest, you silence him with a quick glare. “Don’t worry, you fucking moron. I’m only allowing you to use this potion with my supervision and I simply don’t have the time to watch you bump bubble butts with the local village thot right now,” you explain.

Seokjin nods, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Indeed… I will need your assistance when I walk into town once everyone sees me with my ass shots and tiddies done. The people will simply devour me in an instant.”

“Are you aware that every moment you breathe, you are poisoning the air with your toxic presence?” you say with a deadpan stare. Ignoring his indignant squawks, you take a look at the two remaining bottles. “Alright. Please fucking tell me these are at least slightly sensible choices…”

“If there’s anything I know after living with you, it’s that our definitions of ‘sensible’ vary greatly between us,” Seokjin says, and for once you couldn’t agree more. He takes the last two bottles, turning them over to show you the labels underneath. “They’re luck and truth potions, each with a dose worth one hour. And before you say anything,” Seokjin beats you to the punch, holding a finger up when it looks like you’re about to protest, “These aren’t for me.”

You scrunch your brow in confusion, not quite following his logic. “What? Then what’s the point?”

Seokjin’s grin is mischievous, the twinkle in his eye sending a shiver down your spine. You’re familiar with that look, as it’s the same kind of expression he has whenever he plans to do something incredibly stupid, like eating uncooked noodles before pouring boiling water down his throat in order to eat instant ramen faster. You’ve been at the victim of too many of his ridiculous schemes to not know that whatever he is planning can’t be innocent.

“It’s simple, my dear Y/N. This is all part of my ingenious master plan that I thought of ten minutes ago,” Seokjin explains, tittering haughtily like some poorly designed video game villain. “Hold the applause, because my plan is going to rock your socks off.”

“I’m not even wearing any socks.”

“Then my plan will put socks on you, my dear. That’s how incredible it is,” Seokjin says, undeterred. “So basically, we’re finally going to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck.”

Seokjin pauses for dramatic effect, waving his hands around like a magician would, except the only magical act he’s ever performed was to be born as the first-ever living creature without a functioning brain. “Well?” he prompts, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Are you not going to ask me how I’m going to do it?”

Your expression morphs from confusion, to incredulity, to frustration, to acceptance all in five seconds flat. You’ve long since realized that it’s easier not to ask too many questions for the sake of your mental health, though you suppose it might be important to ask a few questions, mostly for the sake of your friends’ safety. You’ve lost enough acquaintances as it is, all because your familiar with rocks for brains wouldn’t know decency if you shoved it up his ass. 

(PS: No, they aren’t dead, but they’ve told you that Seokjin makes them feel like death anyway. That’s just the sort of effect he has on people.)

“Fine, I’ll bite. What’s your ingenious plan to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck entail?” you ask, gritting your teeth in preparation to withstand the pure, unadulterated strength of his dumbassery.

“Well firstly, I need the luck potion to win rock, paper, scissors against Yoongi,” Seokjin starts, smirking at the thought. “It’s been my dream to beat him at the game, as the score right now between the two of us is 349 to null in his favor—”

“That’s just because you always play paper. Consistently. You never use scissors or rock,” you deadpan.

Seokjin gasps, holding a finger up to your lips to silence you. “I am above using rocks! I am no barbarian! And do you think I’d ever use scissors? That is just one step away from me throwing up a peace sign like some sort of weeb!” Seokjin retorts, nose upturned in the air. You struggle to keep your fists by your sides, the itch to punch him in his perfectly sculpted nose growing by the second.

“Regardless, I intend to win this time,” Seokjin continues. “And I will make him take the truth potion as my prize for winning so that he may finally confess his feelings for Namjoon and end their five-year-long mutual suffering.”

“Don’t you mean mutual pining?” 

“Same thing,” Seokjin shrugs. “You and I both know that those two idiots will continue to skirt around each other like teenagers who only just realized that their penises can be used in different ways other than for pissing. They’ve been in love with each other for far too long and I intend to be the cupid that brings those two together.”

“Why must you phrase things like that,” you sigh, not really asking with the intent of hearing an answer. You’ve been asking him the same question for months now, and have yet to receive an answer that isn’t “because I can!”

“So does that mean you’ll let me use the luck and truth potions?” Seokjin asks, his lip jutted out in what he probably presumes is a cute manner, but all it does is make him look like his bottom lip got stung by a hornet. (Still kinda cute though, you think to yourself.)

After taking another five seconds to deeply access the state of your life, you sigh tiredly, feeling weary beyond your years. Figures that he would notice the attraction between your two best friends, but still remains oblivious to your own feelings. 

“Fine,” you acquiesce, crossing your arms in an attempt to look annoyed. You aren’t doing a very good job, however, as you try not to smile at Seokjin’s unabashed excitement. Fuck him for being so adorable when he’s happy. Why couldn’t he be excited over more normal things, like R-18 video games or hentai?

You clear your throat, stopping his celebration. “Do you really want to spend your birthday getting Namjoon and Yoongi to get together though? Pardon me for saying this, but I seriously didn’t think you’d want to help them.”

“Why not?”

“You always seemed a little too enthusiastic whenever the two of them were being...” you pause, stuck on the word you want to use.

“Super stupidly horny for each other? Yeah, I admit that I do enjoy watching Namjoon getting a boner whenever Yoongi does that weird cat thing,” he says, shrugging.

“Weird cat thing? You mean when he stretches and his entire torso grows twice as long?”

“Precisely!” Seokjin claps his hands, grinning ear to ear. “It’s super gross and weirdly cute! I don’t know how Namjoon finds that even remotely horny-inducing. Must be a cat person thing.”

You shake your head, unwilling to think deeper about the psychological mechanisms of your friends. “Besides the point. Do you want to head over to Namjoon’s place now? They invited us for dinner tomorrow to celebrate your birthday anyway, so we can always do this next time, or…”

“Hell no,” Seokjin is quick to interject, knowing that you're just trying to weasel your way out of being an accomplice in his ill-planned hijinks. Your shoulders slump in defeat. "You are not getting out of this. We are doing this today before either of us forget! C'mon, it won't take that long."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say," you grumble. "But fine. Just gimme a sec to get ready," you point at Seokjin's ahegao printed pajamas with disgust, "—and you should probably change out your clothes too."

Seokjin looks down at his clothes with a confused expression. "What's wrong with my PJs?"

"I think the more important question is what's wrong with you," you reply, stalking off to your bedroom. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear his squawks of offense.

As you hadn't gotten sleep the night before, you only just notice that you're still wearing yesterday's clothes on your back, the sweat after hours of worrying about what to get Seokjin making your shirt stick grossly to your armpits. You strip off quickly, doing your best to freshen up and look semi-decent (though there isn't much of a need; you've been friends with Namjoon long enough that he's seen you at your worst.)

You pass by your dresser, seeing your reflection in the mirror. Your hair color is shifting from yellow to brown at a rapid pace, making it appear as though you'd been the victim of a terrible dye job.

"I'm a victim, for sure..." you mutter to yourself, fingering your multi-colored locks. The brown color is for annoyance, which shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone, but the yellow? Happiness isn’t exactly the word you’d describe your emotions right now. And also, do your eyes deceive you? Is there a patch of pink appearing just at the crown of your head?

“No, no… This is no good at all.” You force yourself to think of sad thoughts, trying desperately for the colors to change—but to no avail. Luckily, that hamster bastard doesn't remember what pink means, or else you'd definitely be screwed, and maybe not even in the good way.

You sigh tiredly, slumping over onto your bed when the fatigue from the day finally hits you. “It’s only morning, and I already want to die. Must be a record,” you snort in exasperation, watching as the tips of your hair turn black in response. “Wow, thanks magic. No one would have guessed I was tired unless you said so,” you mutter sarcastically. 

You never thought that you were much of a tsundere, but you're starting to understand the appeal. People knowing your emotions so easily is disconcerting, to say the least. You'd rather die than let Seokjin know that his stupid little antics actually do make you happy, since spending time with him doing pretty much anything is always a good time. It's just... someone has to hold the brain cell in the relationship, and you never would have expected that you'd be the wielder majority of the time.

When you step out back into the living room feeling more refreshed, Seokjin is ready to go. Which is to say, he hasn't moved a single inch from where he was standing just ten minutes ago.

"You bitch! I told you to get dressed," you snap. You pull him by the ear, making the 179 cm adult man whine like a little baby. "Take your clothes off!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he wheezes, still grimacing from the throbbing pain from where you had tugged his lobe. He tries to wink at you but fails tremendously. He looks like he’s having a funky lil seizure instead. "Just transform me into my animal form and let me ride in your pocket. It's too cold out to walk! You know how sensitive my nipples are! They turn into ping pong balls when it's winter."

"I don't care. Please stop using me as your personal taxi service; you've shat in the pockets of two of my coats already," you grumble, but your pleas remain unheard. He pouts, and your feeble willpower disintegrates immediately at the sight. You sigh, "But since it's your birthday, I won't complain about it this time."

"You literally just complained though?"

You ignore him. You outstretch your finger, ready to boop. "Alright, gimme your nose, wench."

Instead of coming closer as you expected, Seokjin just gives you a contemplative look. Never a good sign. "Actually, that gives me an idea..."

"Oh, dear Merlin. Not another one of those. Please spare me," you groan.

"This one is easy though!" Seokjin tuts, bonking you on the head. You hear something click in the back of your skull, but now is not the time to ponder about such trivialities. He continues, "Instead of my nose being my transformation point... Do you think you could—"

"I am not making your penis your transformation point," you interrupt.

"—make my butt my transformation point? Wait, hold on, nevermind. I think I like your idea better," Seokjin jumps in excitement, but his mirth dies when he sees your unimpressed stare. "Okay, fine. No penis touching. But butts! You touch my butt all the time anyway! It shouldn't be that different."

"Yeah, but I only touch your ass so often because you beg me to punch and massage it in hopes of it becoming bigger. Which, by the way, isn't a real thing. You should do squats instead or something."

Seokjin gasps, scandalized. "Me? Working out? Please, that's as improbable as Yoongi turning into a regular-sized person!"

"I'm telling Yoongi you said that," you roll your eyes. "And to answer your question, no I won't switch your transformation point to your—" Wait, hold the phone. That gives you an idea. A glorious plan, something that might finally teach him a lesson.

No way in hell he would fall for that, though, you think idly to yourself. You’d be too obvious! Unless..?

"What is it?" Seokjin asks, confused when you suddenly stop speaking. He gazes curiously at the way your eyes are glazed over, concerned when he sees the way the corners of your lips twitch slightly. "What's up with you?"

You snap out of your reverie, your mischievous thought quickly cementing itself in your mind. Seokjin may be a chaotic shithead, but so are you. No one can endure living with Kim Seokjin for long without gaining a few shithead genes in the process, and you're no exception. This will teach him to be a little more conscientious, you hope. It's a pipedream, but as they say... Reach for the moon, and if you miss, then at least you'll get swallowed up by a black hole and turn into spaghetti.

"Nothing. Just had a thought, thot." You whistle innocently, barely holding down your grin when Seokjin stares at you suspiciously. Fortunately, your hair color hasn't given you away. To be fair, you didn't know light blue was the color for being a jackass either; you learn something new every day. "Nevermind that. I changed my mind. I'll grant your wish. After all, it is your birthday."

"That's right!" Seokjin exclaims, but there's a note of uncertainty and nervousness in his tone. He squints at you, pursing his lips. "Aha... Of course, it's only right that you give me what I want. It's what you promised, after all."

"Yes, yes... What Seokjin wants, Seokjin gets..." You trail off, your mind preoccupied as you hurriedly go over to your kitchen cupboard. You aren't sure if you kept them or not, so it takes you a few moments of sifting through all the bottles of herbs before you find it in the back, where it has gained a thin layer of dust all over it. You wipe it off, humming in victory when you see that it's exactly what you need.

You take a quick look at the bottom of the bottle, pleased to see that Namjoon had forgotten to label it, like always. But you remember what it is, even though you've never really quite needed to use this particular herb. He had given it to you as a strange novelty item a long time ago: it was an ingredient for obscure potions that were never really ordered at regular magical apothecaries, which is why it had remained untouched in your cupboard until today.

By itself, it has strong magical properties too, or rather... You suppose it would be more accurate to call them side effects. It has an incredibly confounding side effect that some might consider dangerous, which is why it's important to handle this herb with the proper protective equipment. Not that Seokjin would know that, of course.

"Here," you say, handing over the innocuous-looking bottle to Seokjin. He peers at it, turning it over to look for the nonexistent label.

"What is this? Weed?" he murmurs, popping the lid open and taking a tentative sniff. "Doesn't smell like it," he says, raising a brow in confusion. You let out a small giggle, but thankfully, he doesn't notice your slip up.

"Nah, it's called the Baliktad herb. I remember that Namjoon had given it to me ages ago, and it's coincidentally something you can use to... transfer magic from one body part to another." You choose your words carefully, though it's not like you're lying, anyway. Vagueness is the first step in deceit, after all.

"Really? How does it work?" 

"Simple! All you have to do is grind some of the herbs into a powder, mix it with some water to form a paste, then rub it on your nose and your butt. Wait a few seconds and poof!"

Seokjin nods, intrigued. "Wow, I've never heard of this thing before. Are there other uses for this? Say, what if I rubbed some of it on my dick instead—"

"Oh shut the fuck up and give me that," you grab the bottle back, glaring at his impish face. "You know what? I can't trust you to administer it on yourself. Lemme make the paste and I'll rub it on you."

"That sounds hot," Seokjin winks, barely dodging your kick to his nuts. "Hey, hey! Feet off the prize, darling! My balls are where the ladies get their babies."

To stop yourself from screaming, you keep your mouth shut this once. Besides, you're too excited for what you're about to do to him, so keeping silent is a small price to pay. All of it will be worth when you finally give him a taste of his own medicine. Or rather, a smell of his own medicine.

When you finish grinding the herb into a paste, you clear your throat, gesturing for Seokjin to sit on the couch. "Alright, let me put some on your honker first before I get to your ass. And no, you better not make some 'ass is grass' joke."

Seokjin visibly deflates. "Hey, what the fuck? You stole my joke before I even said it! I guess that's soulmate culture for you," he sighs dreamily, before yelping loudly when you shove two gloved fingers up his nostrils. "Hey! What was that for!"

"Oh, sorry," you apologize unapologetically. "I was just worried that if I slathered it on top of your nose, I might accidentally trigger your transformation, so I took the safer route it jammed it up your nostrils instead."

"Whatever happened to a gentlelady's touch..." he whines, scowling petulantly at you. "Wait, if you're gonna jam it up my nostrils, then does that you're also gonna jam it up my—"

Before he can finish his sentence, you push him down onto his stomach, kneeling on his back and literally stealing his breath away. "Aight, rat. I'm shoving your pants down now," you warn gruffly. He makes a winded sound, probably a snarky response that would have made you slap his nuts. Fortunately, your legs were currently crushing his windpipe and leaving him incapable of speaking.

It's funny how you’ve become numb to the sight of his naked ass at this point. Once upon a time, you had blushed constantly at the sight of his sweet cheeks, making for an awkward first two months of living together. Every time you close your eyes, the two globes would be imprinted underneath your lids, haunting you. Nowadays, you'd be more concerned if he wasn't wearing his signature "God Won't Let Me Die" booty shorts.

Also, despite what he says, he isn't completely assless. He has a substantial amount of cake, certainly nothing to scoff at. You grumble and moan about "having" to massage his ass, but honestly? Who wouldn't want to grab his ass? You might be stupid, but you aren't an idiot.

“The salve is going to be cold, by the way,” you warn, though it’s useless to say at this point since he already experienced it when you shoved up his nose just two minutes ago. Whatever. 

Unlike then, you are much gentler applying the salve on his butt this time, mostly out of fear that 1) you'd accidentally penetrate his asshole with your finger like that one time (don't ask), or 2) you'd massage his butt like you know he wants you to.

“Harder, mommy,” he fake moans, wiggling his ass. You almost slap him on instinct, but think better of it.

"I hate that you're such a... debauched cretin," you say, tenderly rubbing his ass with a scowl. If any bystander were to see you, they'd might have thought you were his kind girlfriend rubbing medicine on a bruise or massaging your poor fatigued boyfriend. One might have even thought you were rubbing him a little bit too sensually, but little do people know... You were playing a stupid little prank on your dumbass familiar that may or may not cause him to beat you up (not that it would be much of a punishment to you, anyway. They don’t write romances like these anymore, huh?)

He taps you on the thigh, and you guess that he’s probably having difficulty breathing from your weight on his back. Feeling kinda bad for him, you shift your legs over, choosing to straddle him instead. However, the regret from your decision comes instantaneously the moment he regains his breath.

"You love me, though. You think I'm funny," Seokjin replies, albeit his voice is still a little strained under your weight.  "You think I'm cute, too."

Yeah, you do. "I think your hamster form is cute. Get that shit out of your head," you scoff, but your heated cheeks betray you.

“I can’t see you right now, but I bet your hair is an insane shade of purple, isn’t it?” he teases, wiggling like a worm to express his glee.

“Fuck you,” you grouse. You slap his thigh twice in retribution: the first one for teasing you, and the second one for pretending to moan after you had slapped him the first time.

He was only half-right about your hair, anyway. You catch a glimpse of your pastel purple and pink hair from the corner of your eye, alarmingly visible for all to see. Honestly, it doesn’t take a lot of brainpower to figure out what pink actually means, most especially since you have never been subtle with your affections for him. After all, not everyone has the patience to keep up with his antics. The fact that you haven’t squashed him into a tiny hamster pancake is proof enough that you really do love him.

I mean, who else would give Kim Seokjin ten wishes on his birthday? That's giving him way too much power that no one should be comfortable with. Just goes to show that maybe like attracts like, sometimes. You must be a little crazy too, you suppose.

He’s never caught on to your feelings, however, as he probably thinks you’re more like an annoying younger sister or something. After all, you bicker with him more than anything else, but that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth.

Luckily or unluckily for you, Seokjin doesn’t comment on your hair color when he sits up after you finish rubbing the herbs onto his gooch. He’s much too busy wrinkling his nose in confusion, his forehead scrunching as the herbs are presumably starting to take effect.

“How am I supposed to know when the herbs work?” he asks, scratching his nose. The salve has dried out considerably, turning more into flecks that fall off when he disturbs it. So now, it looks like he has disgusting leathery boogers hanging out from his nostrils. Somehow, he makes it work anyway.

“Oh, you’ll know,” you respond vaguely, smiling when you can tell that Seokjin’s suspicions are beginning to grow. “Want me to test it out?”

Seokjin nods, leaning closer and presenting you with his nose. You tap him gently on the tip (lol), both of you waiting for the scent of caramel and mint to signal his shift. When nothing comes, Seokjin gasps in elation, clapping his hands gleefully as he bounces up and down in his seat.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe that worked! I was so sure you were gonna prank me… I overestimated you,” he says haughtily, pointing his stupid nose up in the air. He guffaws, standing up and wagging his ass at you smugly. “C’mon, then! Slap my ass and let’s see if it really works!”

You don’t move immediately, disappointed when the actual effect of the herb doesn’t seem to be working. You pout, observing him skeptically. “Wait, hold on. Are you sure you don’t feel weird?”

His victory hoots come to an abrupt halt. “No? Why would I be?”

“Don’t you… smell anything odd?”

Seokjin looks at you weirdly. “No? Unless you count not smelling my transformation scent, then—wait, just a second.” He freezes up, sniffing the air with a disgusted expression on his face. “Shit, you’re right! There’s something super funky in the air. You didn’t fuck up my sense of smell or something, did you?”

“Nope,” you say, popping your p. Your smirk grows, breathy giggles escaping you. “Say, can you describe what you’re smelling?”

“Oh Merlin, it’s terrible! It smells like shit? Like fucking… like ass or something!” He grimaces, sticking his tongue out as he is assaulted by the stench that only he can smell. “What the fuck is that? Oh my fucking word…”

You’re breaking into full out laughter at this point, nearly falling over onto the floor from the strength of your mirth. You barely hear Seokjin’s squawks of bewilderment, ignoring his demands to tell him what you had done to him.

“I can’t believe it worked,” you wheeze, hunched over on your knees. You’re spraying spit everywhere from your hysterics, though you are exaggerating your delight a little just to piss Seokjin off. You point and scream at his face, hollering like a banshee until he finally grabs your wrists to make you stop.

“Out with it! What the hell did you do to me?” he shouts, shaking you roughly with unhinged eyes.

It takes you a moment to respond, unable to breathe through your giggles. “You—you’re fucking—smelling your own—wheeze—your own ass!”

Seokjin stares at you, dumbfounded. “What?!”

“Your—HAHA—your fucking ass! I switched your nose to your ass, you idiot! Just like you asked!”

Seokjin’s jaw drops, complete bafflement and betrayal on his expression. He backs away from you, shaking his head slowly with bugged-out eyes as he begins to fully understand the weight of your treachery. “You,” he seethes, venom dripping from that singular word. He sounds like a pet owner about to scold their dumbass cat for eating his prized plastic big booby women figurines or something. 

You grin sweetly back at him, batting your eyelashes for extra effect. “Me? What about me?”

You don’t even have the reflexes to dodge him when he lunges for you, grabbing your neck and strangling you. “You bitch! How could you do this to me on my birthday!”

“Hehehe…” you wheeze, sounding even more goblin-ish with his grip on your throat. “You underestimated me, bastard. You asked for your ass to become your transformation point, and I did. You never said I couldn’t make transfer your sense of smell, too.”

“I didn’t ask you to make me smell my own ass! This is fucking garbage!” he yells, letting you go. You gasp for breath, but you’re still shaking with laughter at the absolutely deranged look in his eyes. He looks like an ape that was recently set free from his enclosure and out onto the streets.

“That’s what you get for not wiping your ass, then!” you retort, sticking your tongue out petulantly.

“Well, we can’t go to Namjoon’s house when all I can smell is my own fucking ass! Merlin, I should’ve downed the luck potion when you left to get changed, but I wanted to be A GOOD PERSON and so decided against it,” he sniffs, utterly irked by this turn of events. “I’m never going to be a moral person again!”

“When have you ever been one? I wasn’t even aware you had a conscience,” you say. “Wait, that reminds me. I’ll be taking these until we go to Namjoon’s, then!” You grab the luck and truth potions, keeping them behind your back. Seokjin immediately tries to grab them, but you’re quick to punch him in the gut with your free hand.

“Ooph! You’re such a meanie—aw shit!” Seokjin screams, holding his hands to his nose instinctively. “Fuck! That was a dirty move! You know hitting my stomach makes me fart! I can’t even cover my nose!”

“Hey, maybe for your next wish, you should ask for some cake. Then maybe we can recreate the cake farts video,” you suggest, mostly as a joke. But of course, you shouldn’t have been surprised when Seokjin starts to seriously contemplate your offer.

“Hmm… I was gonna ask for cake next, but now you’re making me really want cake now,” he hums, shrugging you off when you hit him in retaliation. “What? Why do you keep hitting me?! You’re the one who said it, not me! We might as well turn lemons into lemonade!”

“It was a fucking joke, you moron! I’m seriously going to eat you if you don’t stop being weird—”

“Oh shit, how do you keep reading my mind? Vore was gonna be my next wish too—”

“Shut up!” you hiss, your ears perking up. “I think I heard something from outside.”

You were both so busy bickering with each other that you hadn’t noticed that the doorbell had been ringing for the last minute or so. You both freeze, hearing the shrill sound of the bell going off, followed by three loud knocks. “Hello? Y/N? Are you home?” a familiar voice calls out. “It’s me, Taehyung!”

“Taehyung?” you shriek, staring incredulously at the door. He isn’t meant to visit until the end of the month to pick up refills for his grandfather’s medication. What could he need all of a sudden? “H-hold on! Gimme one sec!”

You’re only two steps away from answering the door when a growl (a squeal? Can hamsters growl?) stops you in your tracks. You slowly turn back to Seokjin, your blood running cold when you remember his blatant dislike for this particular customer. In fact, his aversion towards Taehyung runs so deep that you never allow him to stay in his human form around him lest he begins cursing him out like a sailor.

It doesn’t help, however, that Taehyung only ever sees him in his hamster form and constantly coos at him like a pet. You’ve had to apologize numerous times for the dozens of bites all over his hands and arms, but Taehyung always laughs it off, too oblivious to realize that a two-inch hamster wants to suffocate him with his own mullet.

There seems to be no discernable reason as to why Seokjin loathes Taehyung with such passion, though you’ve always suspected that it’s because he feels threatened by people prettier than him. You’d be the last person to admit to him that he’ll always be the prettiest in your eyes, especially since it would only make him ten times more insufferable.

Until then, Taehyung is just going to have to deal with a murderous, psychotic furball coming for his life. 

Aforementioned psychotic furball takes a step towards the front door, but you’re quick to block his path. “Don’t you dare,” you warn, but you can already sense Seokjin’s hackles rising.

“I know what I want for my next wish,” Seokjin responds instead, disregarding your order.

“Overruled. I’m not letting you kick Taehyung in the nuts,” you say, hands poised to attack. You’re about to smack him on the nose when you realize that it’s not going to work this time. “Fuck! Give me your ass! I am not letting you get away with murder for your birthday!”

“I’ll give you my ass next time, darling. For now, I must defeat my sworn enemy, once and for all!” he howls, making a mad dash towards the door. “I’ll kill you, pretty boy! Only one person can be pretty, and it’s going to be me!”

He may be quicker than you on a regular day, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you enough speed to land a loud, fat slap on his ass before he can even think to twist the doorknob open. Seokjin yelps in surprise as he turns towards you with a betrayed look in his eyes, before promptly being swallowed up by pink smoke and leaving an aggressive ball of fur where he once stood.

“Squeak! Squeak squeak squeak squeak!!” he squeaks, and you’ve long since learned his mannerisms well enough that you know that he just said “Y/N! I’ll fucking kill you!!” or something to that effect.

You pick him up gently into your hands, shushing him to no avail. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way—” you hiss, glaring at him when he gives you a haughty squeak. “—then I’ll just have to...yah!” you yell, hucking him across your living room and (safely) onto the couch.

(Caution: Do not do this to your hamsters. Seokjin is a magical hamster and is unnaturally sturdy, even in hamster form. He is an outlier and should not be counted. Plus, he deserves it.)

With Seokjin out of the way, you finally manage to get the door open without trouble. You greet Taehyung with a smile, although you do not doubt in your mind that you must look a bit worse for wear. Like the gentleman that he is, Taehyung doesn’t comment on your haggard appearance.

“Hey, Y/N. Sorry for intruding without notice. May I come in?” he asks. You nod a little too enthusiastically, stepping aside and allowing him into your abode. You glance at the couch, gasping quietly when you don’t see Seokjin anywhere. 

“Shit,” you curse lowly, to which Taehyung turns to you with a confused look.

“Pardon?” He must have mistaken your agitation to be directed towards him, as he bows to you apologetically. “Sorry again, you must be busy with other things today, but I’m in desperate need of a refill.”

“A refill?” you ask, semi-distracted as your eyes flit around the room, desperately searching for the small brown ball undoubtedly zipping around right under your nose. “What for? Is your grandfather doing okay?”

“Yes, ol’ pops is doing fine. I’m here to ask for a refill for… the other thing,” he coughs, cheeks darkening ever so slightly. His embarrassed tone breaks you from your search for Seokjin, forcing your gaze on him instead.

“The other thing? What do you mean—oh,” you interrupt yourself, finally understanding his meaning. “That thing.”

Taehyung nods frantically, hiding his face in his hands. “S-sorry, I know I asked for that potion as a one-time thing, but I met this new girl who’s really energetic, and let’s just say that I’m not keen on disappointing her when we’ve only started dating.”

You chuckle lightly, patting him on the back. “No need to explain, Tae. I’m not here to judge you. Besides, I just hope this girl doesn’t accidentally kill you like the previous one. Didn’t you say you went at it for three days straight?”

Taehyung groans, his flush growing until it reaches the back of his neck. “D-don’t even remind me about that! I accidentally took two doses of the potion that time and I was wishing for death by the seventh hour. I swear, I thought my dick was gonna turn into a raisin by the end of it—”

“Squeak!”

You both turn your heads towards the shrill noise coming from somewhere in your kitchen. “Shit, I forgot! T-Tae, just stay right here! I’ll be right back.” You jog towards the source, suddenly remembering that there was a live rodent on the loose with an evil agenda and only you would be able to stop him from fulfilling his goals.

You burst inside, immediately spotting that your bottom cupboard is ajar. It’s where you keep your extra stores of potions for regular customers, but you have very little time to wonder which potion Seokjin is aiming for before you’re already ripping open the door to stop the vermin.

“Oh you fucking little ballsack,” you snarl, dismayed when you realize that you’re too late. Seokjin has already found the potion he was looking for, having opened it up and already halfway finished drinking the damn thing.

You slap him away from the bottle before he can do any more damage, smacking him hard enough that his tiny hamster body slams against the cupboard wall. You don’t miss the victorious furry grin on his face, holding up a tiny hamster thumbs up to spite you. “What the hell did you drink?” you hiss, grabbing the half-empty bottle and flipping it over to read the label. “Verbosity potion… Oh, you bastard!”

You know Seokjin has always wanted to cuss out Taehyung like it’s his life mission, but you’ve always made sure that he was safely locked away in his bedroom whenever the younger boy was over for a visit. Seokjin knows today was his only opportunity to get his way, especially since he could always weasel his way out of punishment by using his birthday as an excuse.

“If you say even one word to Taehyung, I swear I’ll—”

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Taehyung asks meekly from the living room, still standing where you had left him. He has his neck craned slightly to check up on you, but your back is thankfully blocking his view of the tiny psychopath you call your familiar.

“Y-yes! Everything’s just peachy keen,” you laugh nervously, your attention still focused on Seokjin. Your familiar has yet to make a peep, and both of you are slightly confused when he struggles to speak.

“S...squeak?” Seokjin asks, blinking in bewilderment. He looks to you for an explanation, but you’re as lost as he is. Not to toot your own horn, but you’re one of the greatest potion makers of your generation; it’s almost unheard of for your potions to not work.

You don’t question it for now; instead, you grab Taehyung’s requested refill from the back, the red and pink label making it easy to locate. “Here you go! This should be less intense than the previous one I gave you. This one will lose its effect once you’ve… finished, to say the least,” you grimace, smiling awkwardly.

Taehyung takes it from you, shaking your hands wildly. “Thank you so much, Y/N! You’re definitely a lifesaver. I owe you one,” he says, already making his way out the door. “I’ll hand over the payment to you when I come to pick up my grandfather’s medicines at the end of the month if that’s fine with you!”

“No worries, Tae. Take care!” you call out, waving goodbye until he closes your door shut. With Taehyung gone, you instantly return to kneel in front of your cupboard, where Seokjin is still slumped over, unmoving. He looks more dazed than usual, his black eyes unseeing as he stares somewhere behind you.

“Seokjin? You alright? Can you speak?” you ask, but he doesn’t react, as if he hadn’t heard you. You wave a hand in front of his face, snapping your fingers when that doesn’t work. “Hey, smooth brain. I’m sorry for smacking you, okay? I know it’s your birthday and I should be treating you better, but you really shouldn’t snoop around in my potion stores and drink stuff without my permission.”

When Seokjin still does not reply, you decide to pick him up and place him on the floor. You tap him on the bum, waiting a few seconds until Seokjin is back to his human form. When the smoke fades, he’s still stuck in his stupor, but you notice the dark red flush creeping up his neck and ears.

“Seokjinnie? Holy shit, are you okay?” You panic slightly, holding a hand up to his forehead and gasping when you feel the sharp rise in his body temperature. He is definitely feverish, and you’re worried that he might have had some allergic reaction to the potion or something. “Shit, are you getting a rash? Sweetie, can you hear me? Say something, please.”

“Y/N,” he rasps, licking his lips. His pupils are undilated to an unnerving degree, and his breathing is ragged. He stands up unsteadily, wobbling in place. “Fuck, I don’t really feel well.” His voice is deep, speaking unusually slower. You shudder involuntarily, fearful and intrigued all at once.

You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. Seokjin could seriously be in danger right now! Now is not the time to get horny! “Seokjin, explain how you feel. I’ll try to figure out what antidote I should make in case you actually did accidentally poison yourself with something,” you say hurriedly, going over to your stove and grabbing a spare cauldron from its rack. You’re grabbing random herbs and chucking them into a pot, too preoccupied and worried to hear Seokjin groan behind you.

“I feel… hot. And not in a sexy way,” Seokjin whimpers, curling into himself. There is sweat lining the edge of his brow, despite the house being relatively chilly due to the cold weather. “Okay, maybe a little bit in a sexy way.”

“Well if you can still joke about it, then it shouldn’t be life-threatening, whatever this is,” you say. Seokjin coughs out a laugh, but even that makes him cringe from the discomfort.

You decide to check the potion he had drank and see what ingredients you had used, as it usually will tell you how to make a reverse for it. When you grab the bottle, it only just hits you that the color of the potion is a little off than you remember. If you remember correctly, verbosity potions are usually a pale yellow color, but this one has a darker and deeper tone. In fact, you could see flecks of red sediment floating around, something that you recognize as wyvern blood.

Hold on… Verbosity potions don’t require wyvern blood. Very few potions require it at all, and the only one you can think of that would need it is none other than—

“Oh fucking shit,” you curse for what feels like the twentieth time in this story. You whip your head to face Seokjin, whose entire upper body seems to be bathed in a deep red flush. He’s panting in earnest now, tongue lolling out as he fights the fever consuming him. Little does he know, it isn’t a regular type of fever that he’ll be able to recover with medicine. You gulp, struggling to find an explanation.

“So, umm…” You laugh hesitantly, rubbing the back of your neck with a wry smile. Seokjin peeks up at you from behind his bangs, some of it plastered to his forehead from sweat. The faraway look in his eyes has disappeared, replaced by an unsettling hunger and darkness that is uncharacteristic for the mischievous hamster shifter. You gulp. “Seokjin, I think I know what you drank and it wasn’t the verbosity potion.”

“What?” he croaks, wincing when he adjusts himself to lean on the kitchen counter. You catch sight of a bulge forming in the front of his pajama shorts, miraculously still unnoticed by Seokjin himself. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m burning up.”

The way he utters your name brings a shiver down your spine, and your familiar notices immediately. His gaze is transfixed on the exposed part of your neck, trailing over your skin until his eyes finally land on your lips. You lick them unconsciously, with Seokjin following the movement.

“Seokjin, I need you to get to bed right now. I don’t know how long this potion is going to last, but I’m gonna need you to—”

“What did you do to me?” Seokjin growls, his grip on the counter tightening to the point that he may have cracked the marble. You know he’s strong despite being a prey shifter, but you didn’t think he’d become this powerful and aggravated. You’re guessing that it might be a side effect from him drinking the potion when he was in his hamster form. He had more or less drunk the dosage required for a regular-sized human, so his smaller body size must have led to a slight overdose. This is all guesswork on your part, but hindsight isn’t going to help you right now.

“I, umm… I think I might have accidentally mislabelled the potion,” you admit reluctantly, feeling meek under his heavy presence. You’ve never felt threatened or intimidated by him before, so this is completely uncharted territory for you. You know deep in your heart that he’d never do anything to hurt you even in his inebriated state, but you would still do well to take all your precautions when approaching him. “I think… I might have given Taehyung the wrong potion, too.”

Seokjin doesn’t respond and just keeps watching you as you fidget in place. You continue, “H-he came over today because he wanted a refill, right? W-well, he actually asked for libido potion. And, so—”

“You gave me horny juice? Is that what’s happening?” Seokjin groans, crossing his legs together when he finally registers the very distinct swelling in his underwear. “Fuck,” he moans, involuntarily humping the air to search for some sort of reprieve.

You scoff, trying to keep your tone as level as possible so as not to alarm him. “What do you mean I gave you horny juice? You’re the one who drank it without permission!” you retort, but the scolding dies on your lips when Seokjin starts to grind against the counter, small gasps leaving his mouth. Your throat goes dry, and you know it’ll only be a few more moments before Seokjin’s limited control will start to slip away.

“Y-Y/N, what do I do?” he whines, giving up on the counter and weakly reaching out for you. “I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t cum right now. I-I need you.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you start, your stomach swirling with arousal. His scent is stronger than usual, filling your senses with nothing but caramel, mint, and Seokjin. Even as you’re talking, you feel your resolve chipping away despite your better judgment. “You’re not thinking properly right now, and I don’t wanna take advantage of you—”

“N-no! I want it, no, I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” he pants, taking the two short steps to latch his hands on your waist. You flinch when you feel his large palms touch you, the heat palpable even through your clothes. Even with lust clouding his vision, he is gentle with you, like he’s afraid of hurting you. “I-I know you must think I’m a nuisance, and I’ve done n-nothing but annoy you these past few months, but I… I genuinely care about you a lot, Y/N. W-which is why I was so hurt when I thought you forgot my birthday, but even if you did, I was j-just happy to be living with you. Because I really lo—”

He gasps, unable to finish his thought as he accidentally tightens his grasp on you. He pulls you closer until your bodies are aligned, nuzzling into your neck. His teeth scrape your skin slightly, pulling a loud moan from you. You flush, embarrassed, but you have no time to worry about that when you feel how incredibly hard and solid he is against your stomach.

“P-please, help me? It doesn’t have to mean anything; we can forget about it after but right now, I don’t think I’m going to live past tomorrow unless I have my cock stuffing your pussy right this very moment,” he says in one breath, his hands reaching behind you to squeeze your ass. He inhales deeply, releasing it with a content sigh. “Fuck, I can already smell how wet you are. I just know my cock will stretch it out real good, just like how I always dreamed.”

“You… you dreamt of me like that?” you whisper, shocked. You don’t know why your brain latches onto that piece of information out of all the filthy things he just said, but you have to admit that the thought of him having wet dreams about you turns you on greatly.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen yourself?” He sounds incredulous, like you’d just said something completely unfathomable to him. “Fuck, do you remember when I got my rut two months ago, and I stayed with Namjoon and Yoongi so that you wouldn’t feel awkward around me? They love to tease me about the number of times I moaned your name every time I came,” he admits. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you even if I tried.”

“Fuck, Seokjinnie,” you whine, your fingers scrambling to hang onto his chest, his back, his neck—anywhere, really. Your legs feel like jelly, afraid that you might stumble from how weak you’ve become from your own arousal. “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I’m sorry I had to confess this way,” he says, caressing your hair with unexpected tenderness. He chuckles quietly, his breath tickling your neck. “But I really mean it, horny juice or not.”

Your heart squeezes inside your chest, not believing your lucky stars for allowing you to meet this wonderful boy in front of you. You can hardly believe your ears; never in your wildest dreams would you ever expect that he would also like you back.

“Seokjin, I also—” you begin, ready to spill your feelings all over the floor, but the moment is broken when Seokjin abruptly lifts you by the ass, his palms squeezing you as he barrels determinedly to his bedroom. You shriek in surprise, clutching onto his neck and holding on for dear life. “What the fuck? Seokjin, put me down!”

“No time for feelings! We can talk after we fuck,” he hoots, bouncing you onto the bed. You grunt from the impact, disoriented by the quick turn of events. Your head is spinning, so you don’t even register Seokjin’s hands peeling off your pants in one smooth motion.

A mixture of the cold air and nerves causes your legs to be littered with goosebumps. Seokjin, ever the attentive familiar, notices and rubs soothing circles all over, the heat inside of you coming back with a vengeance. “Sorry about that, baby,” he coos, massaging you. You shake your head, telling him it’s alright.

You are embarrassed when you feel how your panties stick uncomfortably against your skin, already so painfully aroused as if you had been the one affected by the potion. Your shame melts away when you see how much worse Seokjin is, however, as his nostrils flare with want. 

“I’m glad my nose still works, by the way. I don’t know what I’d do if I missed the opportunity to smell your pretty pussy,” he sighs, situating himself in between your legs. He blows gently against your clothed slit, effectively causing all coherency to leave you for the night.

He watches your reactions slyly, his body heat radiating off of him in waves. For once, he looks more like predator than prey. “I know I said I was desperate to fuck you, but do you mind if I start with an appetizer first? I wanted cake today, but turns out my dessert was here all along…” he trails off, smirking when he catches the steadily growing spot on your underwear. “Oh, baby. I know you’re going to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“I-I,” you stutter, shuddering with desire. You whimper pathetically as he traces your panties with a fingernail, your stomach clenching with desire. “I didn’t know you could be like this.”

“Like what?” he hums, pulling your panties off to join your discarded pants. He grins at the sight of your glistening core, wetting his lips in anticipation. “God, you’re so pretty. I could just eat you up.”

“Then why don’t you?” you reply, trying to gain some semblance of control. That silly notion is thrown out the window, however, the moment Seokjin licks a fat stripe up your cunt. “Ngnnhh, fuck!”

Seokjin moans in tandem with you, slurping you up like a starved man. “Baby, you’re just as good as I thought. I could cum from eating you out alone.” He takes a deep breath, kissing your core almost chastely. “Fuck, I know I could cum from this alone,” he amends, rubbing his clothed length against the bed sheets.

The velvety wet heat of his tongue on your dripping pussy makes you clench around nothing, ripping a scream out of you when he focuses directly on your clit. He sucks with an obscene grin on his face, holding your hips down when your entire body begins to tremble.

“So sensitive,” Seokjin says, sluggish and gravelly like he’s drunk on your taste. “So fucking sensitive. How are you real, baby?”

“Jinnie, please,” you whine, doing your best to grind on his tongue despite his iron hold on you. “I want more, please.”

Seokjin only chuckles darkly, continuing his vicious pace. “C’mon, use my tongue like you want,” he says, letting go of you and allowing you to hump his mouth with reckless abandon.

You do as he says, swirling your hips against him with reckless abandon. The heat in your abdomen steadily builds, and you know you’re only seconds away from tipping over. “I’m close, Seokjin,” you huff, chasing your high. “Please, let me cum? Can I cum, Seokjinnie?”

He nods his head, unable to respond verbally as you continue to assault his tongue. After three more licks, you release with a silent scream, writhing violently from the strength of it. 

He gives your clit one last sweet peck, sitting up with a feral grin on his face. His chin is dripping with your arousal, his plump lips redder than usual. He makes a show of licking your juices around his mouth, chuckling when all you can do is swallow wantonly.

“Thank you for the meal, baby,” he teases, his lust-riddled gaze slightly clearer now that he’s had a proper taste of you. However, the glaring tent in his shorts is still painfully present, a small darkened patch visible on his crotch.

“Wan’ your cock,” you slur, boneless and blissed out but still filled with the longing for more. “Fill my cunnie until I can’t walk anymore,” you croak, pussy twitching for extra measure. Seokjin’s expression twists, his pupils widening until his eyes are pitch black.

Seokjin doesn’t waste any more time. He rips his shorts off in record time, stripping himself of his shirt as well. You remove your own shirt and bra, causing your nipples to harden from the cold air. You tweak them as you wait for Seokjin to get himself situated, hungrily appreciating his beautiful torso and god-like shoulders. “Don’t use a condom, Jinnie. I want to feel all of you,” you say when he begins to reach inside his dresser. You can physically feel his unhinged desire growing from your words, your pussy dripping in anticipation.

“Gonna fill your pretty pussy, huh? Fill you until you have my babies?” he rasps, positioning his cock in front of you. “Gonna plug you up with my cum, Y/N? Is that what you want?”

You cant your hips upward, whining when his tip only just grazes your lips teasingly. “Fuck me already,” you beg. “Want you to ruin me.”

“Who am I to deny you? Ask and you shall receive,” he grins, before slowly pushing inside. Your jaw drops at the intrusion, as it’s been a while since you’ve last gotten fucked like this. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Almost like your pussy is sucking me in,” he groans, straining to keep himself from thrusting all the way into you. “Like you’re made for me.”

“You can m-move faster. I can take it,” you whisper, eyebrows pulling together. You sound desperate to your own ears, the pain and pleasure mixing deliciously and making your cunt weep with want. 

There is a moment of hesitation on Seokjin’s part, but that all drains away when he sees your determination. Without another warning, he shoves himself up to the hilt, causing you to arch your back with a loud cry.

“Fuck,” he curses, but there is still worry in his eyes. “Baby, are okay? Are you good?”

It takes you a moment to remember how to speak. “C’mon, Seokjin. Move. I can take it,” you beg. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he moans, but nods his head anyway.

Seokjin pulls back until only his tip remains inside you before slamming back harshly, hard enough that you’re sliding backward. He begins his brutal pace, his dick stretching you out nicely like he promised. You let out tiny squeaks with every pump of cock, hitting you perfectly in the spot that makes you see stars.

“Kiss me?” you gasp out in between moans, pulling him by the hair until you’re kissing him sloppily. It’s more teeth than anything, as Seokjin grunts into your mouth with every tug of his roots. You bite his bottom lip after a particularly rough thrust, but it only encourages him to pick up the pace.

You wrap your legs around his torso, pulling him as close as humanly possible. You can already feel your second orgasm approaching rapidly, your toes curling in anticipation.

“Seokjinnie, I’m gonna cum soon. Please, I can’t hold it—”

“I’m close too,” he says hotly in your ear. He sucks a bruise into your neck, moaning when he feels your pussy tighten in response. He drills into your cunt faster, the rhythm of his thrusts growing sloppy as he reaches his own release. He reaches down between the two of you, rubbing circles into your clit. “Fuck, baby. Cum with me?”

You sob his name, your muscles contracting as your body lights up with intense pleasure. Your back arches off the bed, your walls milking Seokjin dry until thick white ropes of cum start leaking in rivulets down your sopping cunt and all over your thighs. You can feel his throbbing length inside you as continuous streams of hot seed keep flowing from him, filling you to the brim.

Seokjin slowly comes to a complete halt, but he still hasn’t pulled out. “I’m gonna keep my cum in you for a moment, okay? Don’t wanna waste any of it, right?”

You can only nod tiredly in agreement, completely tuckered out. Your chest heaves from your laboured breathing, but the smile on your face can only be described as content. “Wow. Color me surprised. Didn’t think you’d wanna be a father so early,” you say hoarsely.

Now sated, Seokjin’s demeanor returns to its normal state, his aura less crazed than before. He has the decency to look embarrassed, but the twinkle in his eyes shows that he doesn’t regret it in the slightest. “I’d be more than happy to be the father of your children. We’re already going to live with each other forever, so I might as well raise your children anyway.”

“Might as well?” you laugh, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. “You make it sound like it’s your obligation. And who said I’d live with you forever?”

“Well, I mean, who else is going to love you the way that I do?” he murmurs, nuzzling your noses together. “Who else would be your annoyingly handsome hamster familiar?”

“Quite,” you grumble, allowing him to maneuver you into a more comfortable cuddling position. You kiss him properly this time, enjoying the sweet, warm pleasure of his affection. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. “Happy birthday, Seokjin. I’m sorry this isn’t the way I planned for it to go, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Agreed. It’s just like us, huh?” he snorts. He cushions your face against his chest, carding his fingers tenderly through your hair. “Say… Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me, what does your pink hair actually mean?”

You chuckle, snuggling deeper into his comforting scent. You feel yourself slipping into slumber, eyelids threatening to fall. You’ve always loved cuddling Seokjin, after all. But most of all... 

I love you, of course. “I think you already know, genius.”

Even when the sun finishes its descent from the sky and darkness fills the room, the bright pink of your hair glows—unfaltering.

#networkbangtan #btsguild #bangtanarmynet #bts smut #seokjin smut #jin smut #seokjin x reader #bts x reader #bts reader insert #bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #bts #seokjin scenarios #kim seokjin #bts jin #bangtan #bts fanfic #i feel like i could punch the sun rn LMFAO

[ac3id]

Hello love congratulations on 2k, I’m so happy for u❤️❤️ can I request shigaraki with a mommy kink please 🥰

you know... i’ve always imagined shigaraki as more a boobs over ass guy. like look at him, bold of you to assume he doesn’t jerk of to big tiddy anime girls.

he probably likes them better if they have milk in them, he’s always had a thing for milfs after all.

here’s the thing, shigaraki has a tiny bit of a mommy kink but he will not admit it. he won’t even speak of it. he wants to burry his face into your tits and suck on your nipples while you jerk him off, he wants to act like your sweet little boy, but you’re never going to hear thay from him.

you’re just supposed to magically know what he wants. and thankfully for him you realize that sooner than later.

he was tired that day, so fucking tired. he wanted to sleep but his nightmares had been keeping him awake. you had texted him an hour ago telling him you’d be back home late. you were out with friends or something. he hated the thought of you spending a night away from him, but he was trying to be a good boyfriend. not too overbearing.

he sruffed around the internet, played his games- that’s how he was planning to spend his night. just trying his best not to sleep. he put on his headphones, trying to cancel the silence of his lonely apartment flat. it always felt so empty without you.

while he drowned himself with sounds of guns shooting, he failed to notice how the front door opened while you made your way inside. he was so lost in his game, he did not look up even when you entered the shared room or how close you stood behind him while he played.

you decided not to bother him, you had come home early and you were drunk. you missed tomura, and boy you were horny. you leaned closely, your chest touching the back of his gaming chair. your face next to his, you watched his gameplay carefully. he was pretty good at what he was doing. you were almost jealous.

it was starting to bother you, how the hell was he not realising your existence. you would have poked him if he hadn’t looked up.

shigaraki’s went wide when he saw you standing next to him, with a little squeal, he jumped out his seat. you managed to catch him off-gaurd.

you giggled, “would you look at that, you screamed like a girl.” you teased and he grunted. he sat up and stared at you before speaking, he was mesmerised by you. you looked so good in that short dress you wore, it complimented your figure perfectly and it made your tits...look so good. he wanted to touch them, but he decided to wait.

even though you knew how much of a pervert he was, he didn’t want to frighten you.

“shut up, you’re here early.” he asked.

you flopped down on the bed, stretching. “yeah, i missed you,” shigaraki watched you as you stretched your arms behind your back, pushing your chest out. he took a seat next to you on the bed and just by a glance he could tell you were drunk.

“were you drinking?” you ignored his question, sticking upto his arm instead.

you turned your face to him, and stared deep into his ruby eyes. his face flushed at your boldness, “you’ve been staring at my tits, do you want to touch them?” and he’s been caught.

your boobs squish agaisnt his arm and he can barely control himself. “it’s okay, you can. im your girlfriend after all,” getting impatient you your bring his hand upto your chest, making sure he gropes you properly. he squeezes your tits tightly, his pinky sticking out to not dust you away.

“is there anything else you want to do?” you ask, your voice low and seductive. shigaraki feels something in snap. he pins you to the bed and dusts your dress away, you whine- you really like that one.

he pulls your tits out of your bra and starts playing with them. pinching, twisting your nipples till you cry from the pain. he has his fun. getting bored, shigaraki buries his face into your tits. attacking your bare chest with hickeys and kisses, the way he behaves reminds you of a bitch in heat.

“ugh mommy,” he says, latching onto your nipple and sucking. shigaraki freezes. after realising what he had just said, he pulls away and looks at you with wide eyes.

you look back with a smirk, raising your hand to his face you caress his rough skin. “what’s wrong?” you ask with a gentle voice, and shigaraki just melts. he tries to speak but shuts up real quick when you force back down at your chest.

“shh, be a good boy for mommy.” you say. shigaraki grunts but goes back to sucking on your chest.

you were getting to see a new side of your boyfriend, and sure as hell you were going to take all advantage of it.

#tod0oki’s 2k event #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader smut #shigaraki x y/n #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki thirst #shigaraki x oc #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki smut #yandere shigaraki #bnha shigaraki #bnha #yandere smut #yandere writing #bnha fanfiction #bnha smut #bnha x reader #yandere #my hero academia #tw: noncon #bnha yandere

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

brbrbbr i don't have as much of an idea for this but maybe like. reader has anger problems and is easy to piss off so eduardo is not the best person for them to be around but they were dating jon so they dealt with it for him, but now it's after his death and they and eduardo are both trying to mourn so they just start taking it out on each other and mark has to try and intervene before it goes too far (whether physical or someone just says something over the line)

Ironically you've given me an excellent angsty idea :3

...............

"I thought she said we were stupid."

"....I'm gonna-"

"Punch you in the face?" You scowled at Eduardo before he could fully finish the threat. "Because that's exactly what I'm gonna do if you dare fucking finish that statement."

He just returned the glare in kind. "You couldn't even hurt a-!"

"H-Hey, please don't fight here." Jon spoke up. He didn't like seeing the growing tension between you both, so he hugged your arm and tried to pull you away. Even though he knew you just had a bad temper, he was scared you'll actually hurt somebody one day.

"Come on, [y/n]...let's forget about these dumb ghosts and spirits and go back inside." He pleaded.

You glanced back at your boyfriend, sighing. "Whatever. He can deal with it on his own."

If it were up to you, both of you would've moved out so you didn't have to see Eduardo's stupid angry face all the time. But Jon insisted on staying, reassuring you that he might just be "jealous" for now..despite Mark telling you that he's always been like this and won't change.

You decided to suck it up whenever you visited them, occasionally bringing over diet cola so Eduardo would shut up and not bother you. Usually it worked, but other times he'd just glare at you and Jon--especially Jon--with envy.

After heading inside and going to Jon's room, you both cuddled on the bed together. Though you noticed he was still pouting as he put his head on your chest, which made you frown slightly.

"What's up, Jonny?" You ruffled his hair. "Talk to me."

"[Y/n], can you..at least try to get along with him better?"

"....I..umm..I don't-"

"I know he's not the best person to be around but..I-I'm just scared you'll leave me because you don't want to deal with him anymore. And I feel like..all the fighting is my fault."

"Wha...Jon, it's not your fault at all." You hugged him closely. "I love you, and there's no way in hell I'm breaking up with you just because of anything that dumbass says. I've been trying to manage my anger better, I promise. He just makes it..hard for me to have self-control sometimes."

"I believe you." Jon snuggled with you more. "But can you promise me you'll try? If I'm not around I..don't want you tearing the place up. Sure, there's Mark but I'd feel bad if-"

"Okay, okay. I promise I'll try to get along with him. For you."

"Yay! Thank you, sweetums." He giggled, smiling as he closed his eyes. "I know Eduardo can be a real jerk but I don't take what he says to heart. I think it's just his own..special way of showing friendship."

'Friendship my ass.' You thought, but you just sighed and tried to relax.

Maybe it was only jealousy. You'll never know for sure.

But if he had faith in you and Eduardo getting along then..you'll believe him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"You know, if it weren't for him I would've torn this place apart by now."

"Then what's stopping you? It's not like he's gonna walk through the door anymore."

"Don't go there, Eduardo..just don't." Clutching the necklace Jon had gifted you, you glared at Eduardo. He was sitting beside you, just blankly staring into his empty soda can. The bags under his eyes have become more prominent as time passed.

As every day since Jon's death passed.

Even now you could still recall that day clearly: he was dying in your arms, making a joke when Eduardo pleaded for him to say something, before begging you two to get along as his last wish.

Sadly, neither of you got to tell him whether you'll keep that promise.

In fact, given the exchange you two were having now, that promise seemed almost impossible to keep.

Of course, Eduardo had every right to grieve. But you couldn't understand why he's suddenly so remorseful after the fact..only after the damage was done and he couldn't take back what he said to Jon.

"I wish you were dead."

His words were just out of earshot to you, though you knew damn well who he was talking about and chewed him out for saying such things.

Little did you know...that bastard was gonna get his wish granted.

"Look, [y/n]...Jon was-"

"Was what?" Your impatience only grew. "An idiot? Your punching bag? Don't tell me he was your friend when all you've done was treat him like shit..like he was stupid."

"I didn't always treat 'im like that," Eduardo looked equally annoyed. "I valued him as a friend!"

"Well it's too damn bad he never got to hear that." Tears brimmed your eyes as you held the necklace to your chest. "You only care after he's gone...heartless bastard.."

Of course you were going to regret those words later on, but you didn't care. You didn't think the person who wished your boyfriend death had any right to feel this way.

His hands trembled as he held the mug, staring at you with wide eyes. "Y-You think..I'm heartless?!!"

"Yeah, you are! I bet you wanted him dead, didn't you?!" Your voice rose despite its shakiness. "All because you were so fucking jealous that he actually got a date and your lonely ass can't even keep a partner for a month!"

"S-Stop it.." Now you were pushing his buttons, reminding him of things that he didn't want to remember.

"I bet you're happy he's gone, I bet you're happy that explosion killed him-"

"WELL I WISH IT KILLED ME INSTEAD!!" He finally shouted at the top of his lungs, throwing the can to the floor and standing up. With clenched fists he glared down at you, seething red and his eyes tearful. "Every damn day I wish I died instead of him!! I-I may not be a good friend..I'll admit I'm fucking terrible. But god I never hated him or you!!"

You were stunned into silence, never realizing that's how he felt all along.

That he wanted to be the one who died instead..

Although your own hands were shaking, you didn't know what to do or say. But in that moment Mark decided to come in after hearing your argument turning for the worse.

"So much for my afternoon nap..." He rubbed his eyes, before gazing at you two sadly. "That's enough, guys. You can't keep doing this."

"Sh-Shut up, Mark." Eduardo stammered. "This doesn't-"

"I'm still living under this roof, so it concerns me too." The blonde sighed. "Listen, we're all hurt over losing Jon, regardless of how we may have acted towards him. This is not what he would've wanted..to see you two tear each other apart."

He was talking like a disappointed parent would, but there was truth to his words.

Eduardo just sniffled and wiped his sleeve over his eyes, sitting back down while being as far away from you as he could. You averted your gaze to fiddle with your necklace; there was a deep pit of regret in your stomach.

Only now you were starting to see the hypocrisy in yourself: you were hurting him by saying things you couldn't take back.

It never occurred to you until now, but...damn.

'Jon would never want me to turn out like him..'

Mark sat in the space between you both. "I understand you two don't have the best chemistry but..at least try to honor his wish. It would make me happy and less..awkward every time I walk in the room."

As he put both arms around you, he brought you and Eduardo closer. You just exchanged glances, still feeling bitter and sad about the words you've spoken.

Honestly, he could've kicked you out of the house and told you to never come back.

But he didn't.

Maybe he truly does want to get along with you, just as much as you wanted to get along with him.

In due time you might forgive each other and try again.

For Jon's sake.

#o uch this hurt me too ;n; #clanask #anonymous #eddsworld x reader #ew jon x reader #jon x reader #ew eduardo x reader #eduardo x reader #angst

[wizardcommune]

gundham sfw alphabet

pairing - gundham tanaka x gn!reader

warnings - none!!

word count - 1.8k

a/n - FUCK YEAH GUNDHAM (also i apologize, i got lazy near the end)

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

in the beginning of the relationship, he would definitely be very hesitant to show physical or verbal affection since it wasn’t something he was used to. he’d show his love with acts of service and giving, most likely. (giving his s/o one of the devas if he knew they’d be separated for a short period of time, bringing them small trinkets he found like pretty rocks or bones, helping them with homework, etc.)

as time goes on, though, he’d become more comfortable with showing physical affection and would grow to become a huge cuddle bug!!! please hug him for me

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

literally the coolest friend ever. especially if you had an alternative fashion sense, he’d be so down to go clothes shopping with you LMAO

if you were okay initiating physical affection outside of a romantic relationship, and were able to make him comfortable with that, he’d totally be That Friend who cuddles with you all the time!! he’d never mention it though, and would die on impact if you brought it up in front of any of his other friends/classmates

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

once he’s comfortable with it, yeah! he’s definitely super touch starved because of him not having friends most of his life, so having someone to cuddle would make his brain go ^^^^^

honestly, he’s good with any position so it’s up to his s/o. he prefers being able to see their face, though

the first time he ever cuddled with them he cried :(( shh don’t tell anyone though

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

man that’s his DREAM!! the idea of just getting to live with his s/o + animals makes his serotonin machine go BRR

honestly, i think he would fucking suck at cooking. baking, however. :))

because of having to clean up after his animals and keep things out of their way, he would naturally be a pretty neat person out of habit!! i don’t think he’d mind too much if his s/o was messy though.

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I DIDNT DO THIS ONE BECAUSE IT MADE ME SAD IM SORRY

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

gundham already sets up so many walls, and for his s/o to be able to break those down would already mean he’d be willing to commit. i don’t think he would ever just like.... date random people for funsies, so being in a romantic relationship with someone is already so big to him.

honestly, i can’t see him being the type to want to get married. he’d definitely want to settle down! but the idea of having a traditional wedding stresses him out. (of course, that doesn’t mean he’d be any less committed :))

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

dealing with small animals like the devas has left him gentle by nature!! he doesn’t even notice it, but he is always extremely careful with his s/o with the subconscious fear of accidentally hurting them/scaring them off :(

emotion wise, i think it’d be the same. when he cares about someone (whether it be romantic or platonic) he’s always cautious of teasing them too much since he knows that it can hurt sometimes. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

HE FUCKINGNF LOVES HUGS

they’re probably SO good too, like he’s the type to give those hugs that make you feel so safe. full on wraps his arms completely around you and rests his head on yours if you’re shorter (since he’d such a fucking giraffe my god)

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

it would definitely take a while for gundham to admit it. i can see him saying it on accident, like when he thinks you’re sleeping or not paying attention to him. he’d also need a lot of reassurance afterwards, just because of that initial fear of rejection

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

if he sees someone flirting with his s/o and they’re uncomfortable, he’ll immediately wrap an arm around their shoulder.

“they said they’re taken, respect that knave.”

sometimes he does get insecure that’s he’s too much for his s/o, considering he’s an evil tyrant, and that they might want to leave him for someone who’s..... not an evil tyrant.... (once again, please give him a hug)

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

like i said before, he’s very gentle when it comes to affection so his kisses are vv soft!! he’ll always hold their chin or one of their hands.

his favorite places to kiss his s/o are probably their forehead and hands!!

he loves being kissed everywhere, but he really likes neck kisses and any kisses around his face :^)

l = little ones (How are they around children?)

he’s great with kids!! he’d tell them stories of how he defeated different warlocks that tried to test him, or giant manticores he tamed.

i think he’d really like kids too, mostly because they’re so easy to impress LMAO

it inflates his ego a little bit whenever one gets really into one of his stories

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

if he wakes up before his s/o, he’d gently pull them into a hug while he waits for them to wake up (sobbing)

morning voice morning voice morning voice morning voice morning v

he memorized how his s/o likes their tea/coffee and will make it really groggily HAHA

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

okokok hear me out

i think that gundham is a really good singer, so he would 100% sing u to sleep

he’d be embarrassed as hell though LMAOO

he’d probably cuddle them before they fall asleep and talk about each other’s days or just random stuff until they get tired

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think a few months into their friendship? he would talk about his childhood randomly, but would prefer if they don’t make a huge deal about it.

he’d open up more if his s/o did first! he would take it as they trust him enough to talk about it.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

it depends on the person! with someone like hiyoko, he can get pissed pretty quickly, but his patience is VERY thick with his s/o. generally, it takes a lot to anger him. 

that being said, if they put themself in danger he would get ticked off out of fear.

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

especially in the beginning of their relationship when he was hesitant about physical/verbal affection, he would focus heavily on listening to them. he really wanted to show them that he respects them a lot, and remembering small things they mentioned would convey that well.

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

after coming out of the shower, he walked in to see them asleep on his couch with the devas curled up on top of their chest. he went to go lay down with them and it just kind of.. hit him. that he wasn’t alone anymore and they loved and were there for him. :( 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s very protective!! (especially if you’re in the killing game) the thought of something happening to you is his worst fear. 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

ALL THE EFFORT

if his s/o asks him to do something in passing, you BET he’s gonna make sure he does his best

he keeps track of anniversaries/important dates religiously because he’s terrified of accidentally forgetting LMAO

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

sometimes i think he might come off as cold when embarrassed because his persona is so important to him, but if they expressed being upset he would backtrack SO fast

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

not very much?? like, i think he would brag about his hair or something sometimes but he’s always joking LMAO

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes and no? if something ever happened to his s/o, he would feel horribly empty for a time. but i also think that being in a relationship could help him not feel so lonely and teach him better ways to take care of himself, so if they were to ever split he would be able to heal after he got over the initial sadness.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he’s a Mitski Understander (TM) his favorite songs are crack baby, pink in the night, and i bet on losing dogs, i’m up for debate

and yes i absolutely will be making a gundham playlist

i don’t know if this counts since i’m 90% projecting, but i hc him as trans and ND so like. solidarity if you are too wink wonk

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

a/n - just so everyone knows, i honestly think every character would be fine with any type of person since projecting is so important to a lot of us. these are just my personal headcanons, and if they don’t apply to you please don’t take it personally!! <3

i think he would really want a kind s/o. especially with what he’s been through, someone who’s gentle/patient would mean the world to him

also someone who likes animals!! they mean so much to him and were basically his entire life until he met the others, so having someone who shared that interest would make him so happy

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

it’s not uncommon for him to sleep with his animals!! he mostly just sleeps with the devas though; he would probably place them near his head or on his chest so he wouldn’t accidentally roll on them.

he also really likes cuddling with his s/o when they sleep! he wouldn’t mind being the big or little spoon, either.

#god i love him #my work #gundham x reader #gundham tanaka x reader #gundham/reader #sfw alphabet #danganronpa #goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #goodbye despair x reader #gundham tanaka

[rippingattheseams]

(this is a really long and messy vent post so like feel free to ignore this i just want to write whats going on in hopes of it making me feel better)

okay so yesterday was my first day of this stressful summer camp thing i have to do for a scholarship program and it’s literally just school in the middle of june and after freaking out abt it enough it turns out my grandma, who ofc is the only one besides my brother who doesnt seem to forget i’m there likely has stage 5 kidney failure (which is fatal) and i’m probably gonna have to go and see her within a week and the only death i’ve experienced of someone close to me is my dog when i was 9 and i forgot how awful it feels. i also was talking to my only friend about stuff because i’m getting my fourth therapist after finally starting to kinda open up to the last one but now she’s also leaving (she should be back in fall cause she’s having her kid but it still sucks cause i was starting to feel okay with her) and even though i never was able to tell her a lot of going on and she never gave advice she just let me vent, i still don’t want to see another one but back to the original point me and my friend were on ft and i found two of my old diaries from 1st grade and 3-5th grade and although it was mostly funny cause i was a fucked up kid who did fucked up things and couldn’t spell (and still can’t tbh) some of it was depressing especially considering how young i was. there was stuff about how i was so lonely and you could tell just by how much i wrote about this friend that i really relied on her for so much and not really in the venting kind of way i just liked her so much cause she was the only one who didn’t judge me or leave me. i didn’t have many friends throughout elementary and none of them except for her talk to me now. i finally opened up to her about why i loved going to her house so much as a child and why i still feel so emotionally attached to her family despite them not really liking me anymore. as a kid my household sucked tbh. i remember going to her house for the first time and got confused on why they all ate dinner together and didn’t go off to their rooms. up until a littoe over a year ago i’ve never really had a family dinner (and now it’s just my mom making me sit with her in the living room cause after she found out i was cutting in 7th grade she wanted to keep an eye on me and we just watch tv now and eat which isn’t that bad cause i have a good relationship with her now) but my parents always fought, often physically, and my dad was always drinking and my mom was constantly tired. it’s still the same but without as much fighting, which ofc i’m grateful for, but i still hold so much resentment towards my dad mostly, but my mom too. my dad really does love me, and i know it, and it genuinely hurts him when im annoyed or angry with him. i feel so guilty but he was so awful to me and blamed me for a lot, and still does, and is narcissistic and has awful anger issues. in the last year or so ive really started to realize that this isn’t normal. my childhood consisted of so much and i just thought everybody went through it. i want to truly love my dad again but everytime he actually does or says something decent it just makes me remember all of the shitty things he did to me and my mom. going back to my friend i keep bringing up, i was always so jealous of her. her family really loved her, she has a sibling who actually lived with her and cared about her, teachers loved her, other kids did, her house was nice and everything worked, she was skinny, she was pretty, she lived in a nice neighborhood with other kids in her neighborhood she got to play with. i always wondered why i was never able to experience it. i still do. i mean i don’t want to just sit here and feel sorry for myself, but sometimes that’s really all i have the energy to do. everytime i think i’m finally getting better, this happens again. i was also in the internet way too young, and got groomed too many times. a lot of older men were creepy to me irl too. i’m starting to see how its affecting me now and how i’m like hypersexual until anything remotely intimate happens to me, even if it’s as small as a hug from family, and it makes me so

uncomfortable. i don’t even remember getting “the talk” i just knew everything from the interne. i even got porn bots sending me explicit shit in the 3rd grade. my friend was the best thing that ever happened to me, if i’m being honest. i was an awful friend to her because i’d randomly get mad at her for not doing anything and would stop talking to her. i was like a stereotypical toxic friend all through elementary and i’m still not sure why. i would randomly cut her off but every time i apologized cause i realized she was the only one i had left, she’d always accept. she honestly shouldn’t of, because i didn’t deserve it. she was always a pushover and i was always the pusher (for lack of a better word lmao) but i haven’t done anything like that to her in years. it’s embarrassing but i’m glad she did end up sticking through it with me since if we weren’t friends now, i probably wouldn’t be here. she is quite literally the reason i stopped halfway through my attempt in 7th grade. i couldn’t lose her and i knew i couldn’t do this to her. i was only ever mean to her in elem cause i never knew normalcy and just wanted to be like the popular kids and so i would try and mimic them to make myself less weird. it never worked, obviously, but honestly the fact that she put up with my bs for so long is a miracle.

#please feel free to ignore this i just want to write it out don’t feel obligated to comment or dm me of your worried i’m gonna be fine :)

[soulwillower]

butterflies • mike hanlon

(mike hanlon x reader)

requested:  Can you write something for Mike? Whenever you have time of course😊 I don’t mind if it’s smut or fluff, imagine or head cannons. I just really need more Mike in my life💗 thank you -🃏 p.s ilysm

warning: swearing, brief mentions of sex thx richie (and stan and bill), just fluffy stuff, underage drinking, unedited

[losers + reader are 18 in this.]

i wrote this rly quickly bc i just had an idea and im in love w mike, i hope u guys enjoy! i also made this gender neutral 

♡

1.8k words

"what're you staring at, toots?" a cheeky voice pulls you out of your daydream.

you look to your left and stare at richie, cheeks heating up. "what are you talking about?" you ask, feeling flustered. your friend chuckles, the lenses of his glasses glinting in the midday sun.

 it's hot today - you, eddie, and richie had just crawled from the quarry to rest on blankets, your skin warm and hair dripping onto your bodies as you watch the others swim.

in the distance, a bout of laughter grabs your attention and you focus on your friends. mike's got bev in his arms as he tosses her through the water, flying and both of them laughing. you smile, watching mike's back muscles move, his blinding smile as he wipes water from his eyes. 

bill socks him on the shoulder lightly in jest and mike turns his head with a laugh. and then mike's warm eyes are locking with yours from far away and your stomach flutters. he waves, and you softly wave back. 

"uh, that."

you look back with a frown to eddie, who's staring at you with a straight look. richie's got the same one on his own angular face and you scowl at them, crossing your arms. "i don't know what you're on about. you guys are assholes, anyways." you mutter the second part, toe nudging the sand at the edge of your towel.

"it's okay, y/n.

your eyebrows lift and you sigh, surprised by the moment of sincerity from the boy who's always joking.

"then you can finally fuck him all you want."

"wait, now. y/n fucking who?" stan asks, walking up with a grin and flanked by ben and bev on either side. they all fall to the ground and shake their hair out with towels or grab their phone.

"obviously mike. who else?" eddie adds, tossing you a smirk. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. a quick glance proves that bill and mike are still in the water, making their way over slowly but in deep conversation. at least they're out of earshot.

"yeah, she's been hung up on him since the seventh grade. we're eighteen now, doll. it's time."  richie says this with a half-full mouth of beer, prompting you, ben, bev, stan, and eddie all to give him a grossed out look.

"oh fuck off, tozier, leave her alone." stan mumbles, digging through the cooler to pull out a beer and handing one to eddie before pulling his keys to open his own. "you jealous, stanny?" richie mutters, making kissy noises. you roll your eyes and crack a grin despite your embarrassment.

"please. y/n's all mike's, none for me. he's just as hung up on her." stan mutters with a grin and you toss a rock at him in annoyance. god, they're the worst.

"she's also a person, you know." bev says, sending a pointed look to the boys just as bill and mike walk over, towels around their shoulders.

"y/n? a p-person? not so sure." bill teases, winking at you. you stick your tongue out at him, just glad they'd only caught the tail-end of that conversation. mike sits next to you, handing you a cold beer with a warm smile.

you feel those stupid butterflies again.

"i don’t know. y/n's pretty human to me." mike mutters as he wipes his face with his hand. you grin into your knees, feeling flustered and very, very, very infatuated with the boy next to you.

richie groans with a teasing smile, "see! that's what im talking about, are you guys j-" he makes a loud grunt then as ben whacks him in the stomach.

x

later that night, two more beers and four slices (you were so hungry) of pizza later, you find yourself gazing up at the stars. being at mike's house was one of your favorite things ever. besides the most obvious reason, the one that makes you flush, you do like coming to the farm because it's far enough away from the town that the stars are clear and you can lay and stare at them for hours.

luckily, mike kept his window screen removed so he himself could go on the roof, so after everyone had fallen asleep, you'd tip toed up to his room to crawl onto the roof. you'd also tried to hide your disappointment as you opened his door and he wasn't there - he hadn't been asleep downstairs with the others so you'd assumed he'd gone to sleep in his own bed.

nonetheless, you were up here now and it was perfect - the crickets chirping and frogs croaking in the creek a few yards to the left of the house, close enough that you can here it gurgling as the water flows past the rocks you used to jump across as kids.

you sigh. when did you grow up?

a breeze ruffles your hair lightly and you can smell the remnants of smoke in the air from the fire mike and ben had lit although that was hours ago.

mike. the thought brings butterflies all over your body and you curse yourself and your anxious crush. he was just so... so soft. he was strong and soft and careful and carefree - he was his own opposite and that thought itself confused you but you don't really care because every time he speaks, you want nothing more than just to listen for ages. you sit up, eyes wide and breaths halting at your own thoughts. wait.

that's love, isn't it?

"want some company?" a voice calls, prompting you to turn back and look towards the window, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar figure.

"hi mike." you say timidly, your face somehow feeling warm against the cool summer night. perfect timing. "hey, y/n/n." he mutters as he pulls himself through the ledge and out onto the roof, plopping himself next to you. he sits close enough that you can smell him and feel him against your leg - his smell is one of mint, wildflowers and some unknown cologne that makes you feel tingly.

"i thought you were asleep." you say, hating that you feel so damn nervous around your friend. if only these feelings would go away. he chuckles, looking at you, "no, i was getting water in the kitchen and when i came back, you weren't with the others. i knew you'd be up here."

something about his words make you feel very mushy and you give him a smile, "how'd you know?" you ask softly. he shrugs, his eyes darting quickly from yours to your lips and your heart freezes.

"i know you more than you think, y/n." he says equally as soft and then you notice how close he really is, how honest he sounds. and then your eyes flick away, taking in the soft rustle of the leaves in the distance, a lone car tumbling down the road into town, the left taillight blown out. you chuckle; it looks sort of like the car richie bought sophomore year that you all used to pile into to drive into bangor.

you then think about all your memories with the losers; how every single one always circulates around a familiar smile, a certain laughter and the kindest person you've ever known.

and then mike's arm lifts to rest around you and you quickly snap out of your stare at the grassy field of his farm to look at him. he's smiling back and you realize his voice and body next to yours might possibly be the one thing bearing the weight of your mind as your head threatens to join the shining stars and clouds above you. he takes care of you in ways that neither of you notice, in ways that you'll forever be grateful for.

"i just want to say something." he says, cutting out the silence with his crisp words, looking out towards the skyline where you can just make out the main street of derry over the fields.

you lean your head slightly onto his shoulder and hum, nervous that if you tried to speak no words would come out but just the sound of your racing heartbeat.

"y/n, i really like you."

it's said with no other inflections, nothing but the raw words doing so much to overpower your brain. your heart stops beating then starts again at a thumping, resounding pace. you think you're short-circuiting.

"oh... what?" you ask shyly, feeling extremely flushed. there's no way that mike likes you back. he smiles at you and god, those butterflies are about to escape from your chest. "you're not joking, are you?" you ask, biting your lip as your eyes navigate every feature of his face as he watches you. you dont even know why you said it - it's mike you're talking to. he would never lie or joke about something like this, he would never, ever hurt you like that.

"i have never felt this way about anyone.” he says honestly, a smile still on his face and your heart thumps wildly in your chest, a smile splitting your face in two as you shake your head. "y/n/n, i would never lie to you." but you already knew that.

your heart is swelling with so much antsy happiness that you almost huff a laugh, shaking your head as your cheeks flush. he's just watching you, half-smiling as he waits for you to fully react. he knows you so well, you almost cry, but instead you speak.

"i like you too, i think i lo-" you cut yourself off and suck in a breath, realizing that you haven't taken one in over thirty seconds. "i have for a long time. do you-do you think i could..." you trail off, feeling awkward.

he smiles gently, the hand that isn't around your shoulders reaching to softly cup your jaw. you can't speak as he pulls you closer and shit, even if you could you don't want to because you would ruin this beautiful moment, the way you're breathing each other in.

you close the gap.

his lips are warm against yours and the arm around your shoulder moves to your waist, pulling you closer to him and deepening the kiss. he tastes like vanilla ice cream and you whimper slightly, your hands falling on his chest as your heart pounds in your own. he's smilling, then - you can feel it.

you laugh with happiness as you realize that you can feel him smiling against your lips and that you'll be able to feel that for a very long time. he pulls back and pecks your lips again, staring into your eyes and then you peck his lips. he laughs and it makes you beam.

his arm pulls you into his side and he lays his head on yours as you stare out into the countryside. "are you tired, mike?" you ask, concerned that you've kept him up. you feel him shake his head and you smile softly, hand lacing with his against the tiles of the roof.

"no. i think i could stay up here forever." he whispers.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @toziershmozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @beauregard-s  @kait-tozier  @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell //

#🃏 #mike hanlon x reader #mike hanlon is my boy #losers x reader #losers club x reader

[lighthausen]

tma 191 liveblog below cut feat. lots of pauses and daydreaming about a sitcom starring martin and melanie

omg are they waking up? aw is that martin waking up?

Aw did he have a bad dream?

Oh shit sleeping with his eyes open 

Not really sleep? Oh his he actually disconnected from everything? I guess he’s sort of in the eye’s range. I hope so 

edge of sleep that sucks tho

“god forbid the creepy ever stops entirely” “thank you” lmao

No dreams at Salesa’s aw

Recognizing Celia! Oh! Martin does know her but he can’t quite remember it!

Oh no, he can’t remember it down here. Oh no he’s not gonna remember when he comes out

Ask if she remembers

“and you are” “nope”

Ummmmmmmmmmm

“is that so” wowwww

Names are how they see you? Oh. 

The labels that cut you ooof. 

Who doesn’t like fae logic

oh thanks for apologizing Jon that’s nice.

Georgie and Melanie are out

cool black beans.

No statement? 

Getting Jon food :)

ARUN AND MARTIN INTERACT

I’m glad Martin’s nice about Arun...

Oh, he also walked through it, sharing their power.

“Yes, you are...” oooohhh

“i don’t know what I see when I look at you”

LMao martin, “rude”

“i’m a poet! i speak the truth” AFDJLKSDAFJ

THis is GREAT

*sadly kicks away the arun having a crush on martin fanfic i wasn’t ever actually going to write* 

Arun’s right tho, they are mysterious

------------------------------------

and , okay okay, pausing

Does Arun see something different because they saved him or is there actually something different there?

Melanie and Georgie are unharmed by the whole world. Jon is only harmed by things in a dream logic manner. But Martin... he almost got trapped in a lonely domain. 

So. He’s different.

I get Georgie, no fear, can’t get caught. But why Melanie?

And JOn said he couldn’t quite see them at the beginning of the season right? They’re described as a blind spot? Why??? 

Is it because Melanie removed her eyes? Shit, is this gonna be like... birdbox or something?

Unless Georgie’s just been protecting Melanie. Does Melanie have a domain?

Okay okay here are the facts as I see them: The Eye is fond of Martin, gave him his own domain. Jon is able to See Martin. 

He is unable to See Melanie and Georgie. They go out often so it’s unlikely it’s just because they’re in a blind spot all the time. They must be a blind spot. 

Georgie is probably unable to be seen because her fear was removed. 

Melanie is either like Martin (eye is fond of her) she has her own domain... or... Georgie could be looking out for her. Or both. But why wouldn’t Jon be able to see her?????? Is it because she severed her connection with the institute? 

And, are they actually immune? Did Martin only get pulled into the lonely because of dream logic but he’s usually safe? Jon’s described as the only one who can walk, so I assume other avatars can’t travel either???

FUck! Fuck,, i don’t know time to play again.

-----------------------------

They’ve been gone a while

Locals getting restless? Oh no, they don’t like them :(

Fuzziness comes and goes? 

HE WON’T FORGET EVERYTHING?? i hope not

the simultaneous “i don’t remember”

Are they gonna help? Help with what. saving the world

a bit too much pressure lol

Makes sense if they don’t help bc if it fails...

Layouts different?

Oh? Things wandering about? 

What? 

ARCHIVISTS???????????????????????????

?

wait rewind lemme look at the episode

ok Mag53

Ohhhh ohh okay so my takeaways from reading the wiki are 1. there are multiple archives. or other past archives anyway. and 2. Eye monsters. spoooky. 

alright time to play again

oohhohnoh not the first archivist

some lingered?

the panopticon calling? Oh shit 

we’re gonna meet more beholding avatars!!

Oh, wait what about the travelling thing? I guess they can travel then, huh. *shrugs*

If- when we defeat the eye :’0

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU

OHH NOOOOOO

we’re having this conversation D:

maybe he’ll survive? best case scenario

auuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhh auhghh 

If they find a way to destroy them 

i’M NOT GOING TO BE OKAY

SURVIVE BUT LOSE SOMeTHING

LEFT OF YOU WIHTOUT IT

DIE

AHHHHHHhh

STOOOP STOP STOP STOP

DON’T TALK ABOUT IIIIIIIIIIIT

*crossing fingers and holding out hope for a combo of ending 1 and 7* fuck fuck fuck fuck

i keep having to fucking pause

“martin when the time comes i need you to promise me you won’t try to stop me” oh god oh god D’:

“I promise. I love you Jon.” “I love you too”

*crosses off an I love you exchange off the bingo card* fuck, that’s a bit early hope it happens again

“But i’m not going to doom the world over it” ahfhhf,

that’s not what you said to that manifestation of yourself in your own domain, Martin.....

oh no

Bad end number 320235: Martin selfishly dooms the world to save Jon

fuck i hate that nooooooooo

:(

oh i shouldn’t of paused there lol

promise me you’ll do everything in your power to live oh my god,, </3

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa “i promise”

fuck “I promise” exchange

i hate these conversations, me too,

talk about the weather, aww,ww,w

i couldn’t understand that last line i’ll have to relisten

Georgie and Melanie time!

GOING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT?

WHO?

WHAT

WHat

Really sets the mood

Mood for private contemplation??

Who? WHo’s HEE?

Oh it’s the Admiral

ohhhhhhhh okay

Pull him out like the others?

awww

Dream of a giant muderous tunnel cat

“HON” 

OH MY GOD

“’HON”

CANON PET NAME CANON PET NAME CANON PET NAME

uh oh... getting involved will only make things worst.............

I just don’t like him lmfaoooo

rought ime of it

HONEY? HONEY?????????????? AAAAA :D

you’re actually quite similar lol

hate consistantly

----

pausing again to dream about an au where martin and melanie are roomates in a sitcom and martin is pining over jon and melanie fucking hates jon and she’s like “you have such shit taste in men,” 

Meanwhile, Melanie has a crush on this podcaster and Martin makes fun of her constantly for it until my gosh, they meet! In real life! And hit it off!

And they work together for a bit and become close friends. And then one time Melanie works up the courage to ask Georgie for coffee. Georgie is ecstatic but she desperately needs moral support so her friend and ex Jon goes with her. And Melanie needs moral support so Martin goes with her. And they show up, and due to sitcom shenanigans Martin and Melanie think that Jon and Georgie are a couple, while Jon and Georgie think Martin and Melanie are a couple and everyone is extremely upset about it. Maybe they try and make each other jealous.

Then everything clears up and they all laugh about it. But will they find out about each other’s real feelings? Find out in the next episode!

---------------

okay okay okay back to the episode lmfao

What can they do for them? OKay can’t find a way 

Things down near the stairs?????? THe what??

Doing it again??? Doing what? 

Overcompensating, ahhh!

Not even if it was just the two of us aww

Oh, Melanie, even a small change aww

YOU CAN GET BACK TO THE PODCAST DFLJSDFJL

nightmare zone of shitty ad reads

RECORDING ONE WHILE RECORDING ONE

plot twist, georgie caused the apocalypse with that script

ARUN’S LATEST HYMM

bully arun time

jon and martin unsupervised lol

i want my cat back aww

well that’s it. The magus archives is a podcast. 

#tma spoilers #wow #tma liveblog

[testifytime]

do everything for me, you already know about me BUT: im described as "chaotic faggot" by my friends, i have no filter, I can switch from being outgoing to really nervous in a second, i like drawing, dice, and divinitation. i hoard candles and incense, and i like paintball.

- A Pokemon team/type theme (+ fun facts abt your team!)

Your team is full of Poison types! They’re used the most often for rascly lil fucker trainers, so, it fits :3c

Your signature Pokemon is Toxtricity, though your team also consists of Whirlipede, Haunter, Gloom, Toxicroak, and Crobat!

Fun facts!

Your Toxtricity was sent to you by your juggabro. In his words, it’s a “cool Pokemon to fit your aesthetic but keep you on track”. It can be pretty overprotective, but sometimes it turns a blind eye to the more chaotic things you do. 

Your Whirlipede is just an entire baby. Even though it’s got toxic spikes on its shell that COULD kill you, it’s pretty much a lapbug. You just have to try and remind it to be careful before it goes in for snuggles. 

Your Haunter and Gloom actually kind of hate each other! Having them out at the same time often ends up with you either getting paralysed or put to sleep. They’re super sweet when they’re apart, though, and both LOVE scritches. 

Toxicroak used to be really loveydovey when it was a Croagunk, but now it acts like it’s too cool for school. It’s really not. If you pay more attention to another Pokemon it WILL jab you in the stomach. And then it’ll pretend like it totally wasn’t even because it was jealous. 

Your Crobat is the sweetest of the bunch!! It likes to collect (read: steal) things for you that it thinks you’ll like, and is almost always attached to your back out of its Pokeball. Sometimes without you wanting it to be. It can be a bit of a pain, sometimes. 

- Bloodcaste/lusus/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck troll (+lore)

You’re a purpleblood with a seaserpent lusus! Your chumhandle is acquiredTalisman. 

You live with your lusus in a hive that boarders where the jungle forest ends and the beach begins. It’s a pretty popular spot for violetbloods, admittedly, but it’s also the only place your giantass Seaserpentdad can actually fit; the mouth of the river is deep and leads directly out into the ocean, where he spends most of his time. The hive itself is pretty cluttered - because man, you suck at keeping shit tidy - and filled to the brim with your dice collections, your religious paraphenalia, and all the random junk you’ve stolen (of which there is a lot). 

You have a few interests, of which the main is your religion. You’re a diviner of sorts, oddly sought out by your fellow purplebloods to tell them what their purpose is in life as stated by the Great Mirthful Messiahs. You’re not entirely sure that they really do speak through you, but your readings are scary-accurate, and not only does it mean that you’ve made more friends, but you’ve made a fuck tonne of money, too. You’re more fond of practicing with your friends, or on your own, sneaking what you can beneath your lusus’ snout; so far, he hasn’t seemed to question the candle collection you have, or the alter with the Faygo bottlecaps, or the cards, or pendulum made from a grubbone you got from one of your customers. Actually, he hasn’t noticed much of anything? You’re hesitant to go TOO far, but you do like pushing at what you can get away with every now and then. 

On top of that, you love to draw - mostly as a form of worship, but also just for fun with your juggabros. You send drawings back and forth, even though you’ve never been able to meet them, and it’s pretty fun! You hope one day that you can get them to your favourite hangout spot to cause a little chaos - which usually means trashing the violetbloods’ rich boy shit and stealing things you know they’re too proud to tattle about. You don’t... always remember doing those things? But you definitely remember the amount of violetbloods that give you nasty glares whenever you walk past. It’s okay, though. You have a rifle and you’re not afraid to use it.

Beyond that, though, you’re... kind of lonely. There’s nobody that you really consider a friend around you, and when your friends do visit you, it’s only every few months. Having all those customers and the nasty violetbloods hanging around is great, sure, but... sometimes you wish you could move your hive closer inland to be near your juggabros. You could, you guess. But then where would your lusus go?

Your lusus is kind of ridiculously huge. You really couldn’t miss him even on the horizon, his giant form standing stark against the two moons. Not that he spends a whole lot of time above the water, though. He pretty much only comes back to get fed and throw a fit if he sees any of your purpleblood customers hanging around. 

- Symbol/guardian/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck kid (+lore)

Your symbol is a and your guardian is your big bro! Your chumhandle is augmentedTemptation.

You and your older bro kick it in a sweet lil bottom-floor apartment. It’s kinda dingy, kinda shitty, but it’s the best he can afford and you’re not really one to complain when you know how hard he works just to keep the leaky roof over your head. It’s got everything you want out of a home, anyway; separate bedrooms, tiny bathroom, sweet hangout pad that doubles as a kitchen (which you’ve got a curtain draped over so that it looks like they’re two rooms) - it’s pretty neat. It’s also got a fire escape out the back and easy access to the lobby doors that’re easy to pick, so you figure it’s kinda home. 

You absolutely fucking love to play paintball. You’ve got a painball gun that you maybe stole from the store once, and a couple pellets you’ve been buying for cheap online whenever you have the money. You don’t... actually have anyone to play with, but hey, cop cars make a great target. It feeds into your general need for chaos, which isn’t limited to - but has involved - petty theft, breaking into cars, and spray painting defametory phrases against racists and homophobes on billboards. You’ve never actually been caught. Okay, you got caught once, but you’re really good at crying. You’re pretty sure your bro doesn’t know about that.

You like to practice witchy shit in your spare time. You’ve got altars set up for your patrons, and a candle collection that you really don’t know that you’re ever gonna burn through. Plus, incense! Your bro kind of hates the smell, but you just crack open a window and it’s like he doesn’t even know. You’ve also got a pretty fair collection of crystals, but that’s more because people just keep giving them to you? It’s wild what they’ve thought were just normal rocks, and you’re pretty sure some of your collection could sell for a pretty buck, but they make way better offerings. 

Of course, you also love to talk to your friends online. You have a bunch! You’re pretty easy to get on with, you think, so you end up just kinda collecting people into one giant group of friends that never stops growing. You share art, play games, chat, make them worried sick when you do dumb shit - it’s great. 

Sometimes at dusk you like to go up to the roof of the apartment block you and your bro live in and stand right on the edge. It’s so high up you can see around for miles, and everything below you looks like a speck of dust beneath your feet. The stars twinkle above you in the darkening sky, just barely visible, and you think, every now and then, that you are very, very small. 

- A FNAF animatronic design and name

You’re a broken down animatronic, probably one of the earliest of your kind. Maybe even a prototype? Nobody really remembers anymore. You’ve just kind of always been there, at the back of the store, half a body and more coherent than people expect you to be, but never fully quite there. Your head lulls back and forth, your arms moving sluggishly, and in order to get around, you drag yourself across the floor.

You can speak, but not by much. It’s glitchy and switched out more often than not, absolutely terrifying to hear in the dark - but you’re a pretty sweet soul, all things considered. The few who’ve been brave enough to slip back behind the old, abandoned doors, past the cobwebs and through the narrow halls, who haven’t run at the first sight of you, tell tales of a sweet carcass who seemed more scared of being found than anything else. 

There are a couple kids who routinely come back to visit you. They like to give you things they’ve found outside the pizzaria, mostly coins and old dice and things that smell sweet to try and cover up how musty you are. 

You’ve never hurt a soul the entire time you’ve been there, but your reputation has been built on the whispers of kids who’ve seen the rotting maw of your muzzle, the glint of your endoskeleton and the shine of your eyes in the dark. They call you Thing - as if giving you a name will make you come to life. 

The ones that know you better call you Peppi. 

- A BNHA Quirk and hero title

Your Quirk is Corroding Touch. Despite its name, and how terrifying it sounds, your quirk is pretty simple! Anything you touch wastes away, and you can control how far along its own personal timeline it decays through. For instance, you could touch a flower and have it start wilting, and stop there on its timeline - or you could have it waste away to a point that it decays completely and turns to mush. 

The drawback here is that what you’re doing is essentially speeding up a natural process. Things that don’t waste away without outside forces - such as rocks through erosion - won’t be affected by your quirk. Things that live very long lives before decaying - such as turtles - will take up a lot more of your time to speed them through their natural timeline. Finally, you can’t reverse what you’ve done. Once you’ve sped it through its natural timeline, there’s no going back; another quirk will have to undo the effects.

Of course, it also means that if you plant an oak seed, instead of waiting hundreds of years for it to grow into an oak tree, you can just use your quirk to speed up the process. So it’s a good-bad thing!

Your hero title is the Wasteful Hero: Corrosion. You’re a sort of last-resort hero, and you don’t like being in the limelight. Your quirk is dangerous if not handled correctly, so you work on a team with another hero who has a counter-effective quirk to yours (essentially Hyper Growth!). A lot of civillians are scared of you, but that’s okay. You know that what you do is important, and that your ranking doesn’t matter so long as you’re saving lives.

You are a little bitter, though, that your partner is several ranks ahead of you.

#turnfagshithead #long post// #heartless prince rambles

[lostinthelightss]

literal chaos fire (ch.2)

amazing banner by @downn-in-flames​ / down-in-flames@FFT

find it elsewhere: fft | ao3 | ff.net | hpff learn more: chaos universe link to other chapters: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 link to missing moments: 5.5, 7.5, 8.5, 15.5

pairing: Lily Luna Potter / OC genre: AU, Humor, Romance rating: mature audiences

summary:

Victoire Weasley is a masters student in infectious diseases handling a devastating break up with her girlfriend of two years. Lily Potter is a first year law student navigating a figurative minefield that is the star quarterback’s unrequited affection. Molly Weasley is pursuing her bachelors in engineering while pining over her best friend - who doesn’t seem to realize it.

Three women, three vastly different lives, all coming together with group chats, family dinners, and a whole lot of chaos.

chapter summary:

IckyVicky: uve always been my least fav sisster

dominatrix: im your only sister

loulou: does that mean i'm the favourite sister now?

SEPTEMBER 18TH, 2021

‘the dopest house' (foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesanator, moollywoobbles, rose) 12:33am

freddieboy: @rose freddieboy: stop fucking your bf and come hang out with ussssss

jamesanator: we got home early so we're playing Kings in the living room

foxyroxy: translation - james got kicked out of the bar but they don't want the night to end

moollywoobbles: to be fair moollywoobbles: he was defending my honor

foxyroxy: he bitch slapped one of the bouncers foxyroxy: he's not allowed back at the bar foxyroxy: EVER

freddieboy: ROSSSEEEEE

moollywoobbles: he bitch slapped one of the bouncers FOR ME

freddieboy: ROOOOOSSSSIIIIIIEEEEE freddieboy: come out come out and plaaaayyyyyy

rose: if we play a few rounds will you let us go back to sleep?

freddieboy: YAAAASSSSSS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘literal chaos fire' (lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby) 2:57am

Mollz: freed nd james made rosse and malfiy play kngs wit hus Mollz: im so lonely Mollz: why dosnt he love me baxk?

lawyerlilz: prbably becuz hes not interestd lawyerlilz: whyyyyyy doesnt  lawyerlilz: why doestn flynn leave me aloooone lawyerlilz: i dont caere

VickyBaby: teddy left me VickyBaby: for *America*

Mollz: xander will nev er love me

lawyerlilz: flynnnn keeeeps texting me lawyerlilz: phone shut up

VickyBaby: america dsoent evn have me

lawyerlilz: oh wait tthe buzzing it you guys

VickyBaby: i bet it has prettier girls

Mollz: vicster, u so pretty tho Mollz: sooooo preeeetty

Molly Weasley changed Victoire Weasley's name to preeeeetty laaaadyyyy.

lawyerlilz: so pretty

preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: i love you gus

Mollz: imma text him

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(mollawalla, xanderbander) 3:23am

mollawalla: im v intoxicated mollawalla: r u awake????? mollawalla: lysaaaaaaander mollawalla: lyyyyysaaaaaanderrrrr mollawalla: loveeee you mollawalla: im never dirnking agin

8:04am

xanderbander: yeah, you say that every week xanderbander: we're still on for lunch right? xanderbander: assignment is due on monday

11:46am

mollawalla: my head is kiiiiilling me mollawalla: im never drinking again!!!

xanderbander: pick you up in 5?

mollawalla: ugh fine mollawalla: i hate you

xanderbander: love you too molla, see you in a few

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘literal chaos fire' (lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby) 11:48am

Mollz: shit i messaged him last night Mollz: why didn't you guys stop me? Mollz: god, im never drinking again

12:05pm

lawyerlilz: i would've, but at some point i ended up on my bathroom floor and everything's a blur after that lawyerlilz: don't u have sat lunch with him?

12:24pm 

preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: fuuuuuck preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: i called Teddy 8 times last night preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: wtf did i say??? preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: and wtf is this name?????

Victoire Weasley changed her nickname to VckyBaby.

VckyBaby: shit

Victoire Weasley changed her nickname to VickyBaby.

lawyerlilz: hungover?

VickyBaby: as fuck... VickyBaby: god, what did i say?

lawyerlilz: im so glad i have no one to drunk dial

Mollz: im jealous Mollz: i cant stop freaking out Mollz: i told him i loved him last night

lawyerlilz: WHAT?!?!

VickyBaby: WHAT???

Mollz: yeah, and he said it this morning

lawyerlilz: that's a good thing though

VickyBaby: yeah, you want them to say it back

Mollz: Attachment: 1 Image

VickyBaby: oh...  VickyBaby: not like that...

lawyerlilz: but that's good? lawyerlilz: doesn't that mean he doesn't realize what you meant? lawyerlilz: so your secret's safe!

Mollz: but what if he figured it out Mollz: and is just pretending not to realize Mollz: because he hates the idea of us being together Mollz: but doesn't want to crush my heart and soul Mollz: and still wants a study partner

lawyerlilz: alright, that would suck

VickyBaby: if he hasn't realized that you've been in love with him since first year? VickyBaby: he definitely didn't figure it out last night

Mollz: okay, he's coming back to the table, i'm going MIA

VickyBaby: keep us updated!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Lily Potter, Victoire Weasley) 12:32pm

Lily: so how you gonna figure out what you said in your calls to Teddy?

Victoire: I was thinking of just blocking her number and getting over it Victoire: doesnt really matter since she's leaving soon

Lily: but what if she wants to get back together?

Victoire: she's going across an ocean Victoire: and honestly, i dont think i ever want to get back together with her

Lily: why? Lily: i thought you guys were doing good?

Victoire: we were... Victoire: i think? Victoire: idk, it felt off near the end

Lily: off like...?

Victoire: i found out she was cheating Victoire: that's why im worried about the calls Victoire: DONT TELL MOLLY Victoire: she'll definitely try and key her car

Lily: yeah, if i dont first Lily: why didnt you tell us?

Victoire: ... Victoire: idk

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Lily Potter, Molly Weasley) 2:43pm

Lily: im bringing vic over tonight Lily: teddy cheated on her

Molly: IM GONNA KEY HER CAR

Lily: NO Lily: she specifically told me not to tell you for this exact reason Lily: so let her get a little drunk and tell you on her own time

Molly: fine Molly: but im guilting rose and roxanne into this Molly: she needs family Molly: and if i tell rose she'll bake cookies

Lily: smart

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Teddy Lupin, Victoire Weasley) 9:34pm 

Teddy: hey

Victoire: ... hey

Teddy: i miss you Teddy: i saw you called last night but didn't leave any messages... Teddy: and i realized i missed your voice Teddy: maybe we should see if... Teddy: idk Teddy: we could do long distance?

Victoire: this is vicky's cousin Victoire: fuck yuo, you cheating bitch

Teddy: I'm sorry?

Victoire: we knoooooooow that you were fucking the TA for your ethcds and amnil science course Victoire: showww ur face at any family gatherins an ill key ur car

Teddy: Molly, please give the phone to vic

Victoire Weasley has blocked Teddy Lupin.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘wotter you doing' (albie, dominatrix, foxyroxy, FRAD, huggies, IckyVicky, jamisson, Lillylolz, loulou, LucyGoose, mollzerati, rose) 9:49pm

mollzerati: new famly policy mollzerati: teddy lupin iss shoot one sight

Lillylolz: that fuxking bitch

IckyVicky: cheating fuckxing birhc

mollzerati: FUUUUUCKIGN BITCH

albie: how did they all manage to misspell ‘fucking', all in different ways? albie: also wtf?

jamisson: from what i can gather from the drunk mess that is my living room jamisson: teddy cheated on vic jamisson: so now we all hate her

dominatrix: but i like teddy dominatrix: are you sure about the cheating? dominatrix: she doesn't seem like the type

IckyVicky: uve always been my least fav sisster

dominatrix: im your only sister

loulou: does that mean i'm the favourite sister now?

rose: that bitch ,,, teddyd

huggies: rose??

jamisson: oh yeah, they guilted rose into the pity party jamisson: @foxyroxy too but fred took her phone so she wouldn't drunk call their parents

FRAD: WHEN DID WE BECOME THE RESPONSIBLE ONES???

LucyGoose: this family is a fuxking disaster LucyGoose: FUCK

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #lily luna potter #molly weasley ii #victoire weasley #rose weasley #scorpius malfoy #lily x oc #lily x flynn #oc x lily #flynn x lily #william flynn #emerson walsh #teddy lupin #lysander scamander #harry potter next gen fic #harry potter next generation #muggle au #college au #chatfic #chat fic #literal chaos fire #chaos universe #novellette #fanfictalk #fft #nextgensquad

[darisu-chan]

Okay, but what about a Fruits Basket AU where Rukia lives with Urahara (as Shigure), Ichigo (as Kyo) and Uryuu (as Yuki)? Like, I just wanna fangirl with that idea

…

DUDE

Ihalf-heartedly thought about a Fruits Basket AU, and then you come here withthis idea.

Holyfucking shit.

Okay

Here wego

1. So, when Rukia lost her sister, Hisana,she stayed with her brother-in-law, Byakuya. However, he had to do somerenovations. Awkwardly, and so that Byakuya wouldn’t waste money on her, Rukiatold him she’d be okay living with a friend. Being, well, typical Byakuya, heaccepted without another question. Rukia totally lied. She didn’t have any friends and nowhere to go, soshe had the fantastic plan of living in a tent. You know how that goes.

2. Oneday, as she’s strolling in the forest where she lives, she finds a houseapparently in the middle of nowhere. She notices that there are ornaments ofthe 12 Chinese zodiac animals outside, so she stops to admire them. There, she meetsa blond man who owns the house. They talk about the ornaments, and theirconversation continues until Rukia asks why there isn’t a cat figure. The manasks him why she cares about the cat, and Rukia tells him that when she wasyoung, her sister used to tell her the story of the zodiacs, and that shewished she was of the year of the cat. The man looks at her intensely.

3. Suddenly, Uryuu, the most popular kid in school,arrives. It turns out that the man called Urahara and Uryuu are cousins. Beforeshe has time to think about it, Rukia ends up walking to school with Uryuu,which proves to be a big ass problem, since most of the girl population isin love with him (It’s what he deserves). They all start bullying Rukia abouther coming to school with Prince Uryuu. In this AU Rukia has no friends, soArisa and Saki don’t come to rescue her (though I kinda headcanon Rangiku andNemu taking these roles). Instead, Rukia tells the girls that nothing happened betweenUryuu and her, that they’re just classmates. They, very passive-aggressively,threaten her, but Rukia braves the storm. She believes she won’t come intocontact with Uryuu again. That’s a lie.

4. Rukia finds Uyruu in the locker room after schoolis over, and he walks with her. They talk about the zodiacs, and Rukia mentionsthe cat. Uryuu gets visibly upset and calls cats idiots. Rukia is surprised butcan’t say anything more when she has to get to her part-time work. Beforeleaving, Uryuu tells her she looks pale and that she should rest.

5. Rukia believes Uryuu is weird, but, ultimately,feels like she kinda understands him. Even though he’s popular, he’s lonelylike she is. Anyway, when walking home, she finds Urahara and Uryuu in theforest. She tells them she lives there, which they find weird since the wholeland is owned by their clan. Rukia explains her story, about how she had tolive in a tent due to Byakuya’s house being renovated. Urahara totally messes withher, which causes both Uryuu and Rukia to yell at him lol. Eventually, Uraharahears something and says a cliff has collapsed. They go to investigate, and yeah,the freaking cliff collapsed on top of Rukia’s tent. She has a melt downbecause the only picture she has of her sister is inside. Before starting todig up, she faints due to having a fever. Urahara takes her back to his house,and Uryuu stays behind, digging up her stuff. Back at his house, Urahara asksRukia why the photo is important to her. She says that the day Hisana died, shedidn’t say goodbye. That Hisana had been hiding her illness for some time, andthat Rukia never noticed. Rukia blames herself for going to school withoutgoing to see Hisana. They had fought over something silly during dinner, and soshe left the following day without even seeing Hisana. Rukia regrets fightingwith Hisana, because nothing should have mattered as much as her sister, whohad raised her after their parents had passed away.

6. Uryuu hears Rukia’s story. He feels like an idiot.He had never noticed his classmate had lived such a painful life. Uryuu decidedto live with Urahara instead of the main house, to escape his father’sexpectations, as well as the Clan. But believes that if he had truly wanted toleave, he would’ve lived in a tent much like Rukia. This conversation givesUrahara the idea that only Rukia can change the lives of the whole clan.

7. Next day, Urahara and Uryuu urge Rukia to live withthem. In exchange for living there without paying rent, Rukia will have to cookand clean for them, because the fuckers suck at doing this. Seriously, thehouse is a mess. “How can you be two grown men and don’t know how to cook basicmeals and clean?!” “Well, you see Kuchiki-san, a man such as myself doesn’thave the time to─” “You’re hopeless”

8. Sadly, before Rukia can move into her own room, aguy with obnoxious orange hair comes crashing down the freaking celling just tofight Uryuu. “You damn rat, come fight me!” “You’re gonna lose, stupid cat!”“NANDATO?!” Fed up with the juvenile and one-sided fight, Rukia tries to stopthem by pulling the orange haired guy, which is a big mistake, because the dudeturns into a cat right there and then. Urahara arrives at that exact moment andtries to stop himself from laughing, while Uryuu sighs. Rukia flips out andturns to ask Urahara and Uryuu what the hell is happening, when she trips andfalls on top of them. They turn into a dog and a rat respectively, and Rukiabelieves she finally lost it. They start speaking, and Rukia freaks even more.Urahara, as a dog, explains her that their clan is cursed by the zodiacs. Whenhugged by a member of the opposite gender, they transform into animals.Thankfully the transformation doesn’t last long, however, the downside is thatwhen they become humans again, they’re completely naked. *Cue transformationand Rukia screaming because she almost saw them bare*

9. The orange haired guy is named Ichigo, and he’sUryuu’s and Urahara’s cousin. Apparently he disappeared for four months totrain in the mountains, and fight bears. Rukia doesn’t know what tothink about him at first. He’s rude and loud and he hates Uryuu for whateverreason. She starts guessing it’s probably because in the story, the rat tricksthe cat, and that’s why the cat doesn’t belong in the zodiac. As for Ichigo, herightfully believes letting a girl live with them will carry even moreproblems, especially since she knows their secret.

10. Urahara talks with the clan’s head, Aizen, and helets Rukia continue living with them, which means her memory won’t be erased.He also makes Ichigo join the same school Rukia and Uryuu go to, which pisseshim off. It turns out Ichigo is a very shy person, yet he makes friends easily.This upsets Uryuu, who, even if popular, has no true friends. Rukia, then,discovers that their rivalry goes both ways, and that both are jealous of eachother. They’re idiots, as Rukia will later tell them, because the two are greatin their own way.

11. So Rukia continues living with the three, gettingto know them. Uryuu learned martial arts later than Ichigo, but he is stillbest at them. He prefers sewing, though. He’s very good at fashioning clothes,blankets and even stuffed animals. He makes a blue dress for Rukia to thank herfor everything she does for them. Meanwhile, Ichigo loves martial arts becausethey give him the strength to protect the people important to him. He teachesRukia some moves so she can protect herself, as she walks to the house byherself after her shift at part-time job is over. Uryuu and Ichigo actuallytake turns accompanying Rukia home. She hates the attention but when she’s withthem it’s the only time the two get along.

12. Over time, Rukia gets closer to them. She tries tosooth their worries by giving the same type of advice her sister used to giveher. She makes it clear both are worthy just as they are. If they want toimprove, it should be to become better people and not to please others. She isnothing but kind to them, and they are kind to her in return. Soon, they’reclose enough that it feels as if they had been friends their whole lives.

13. When the renovations are over, Byakuya calls Rukiato come back home. She doesn’t want to go with him, but she knows that she can’tstay with Urahara, Uryuu and Ichigo forever. So she goes but she’s miserable,because living with Byakuya involves living with his relatives, who all hateher as she doesn’t come from a rich and prestigious family. They somehow findout she was living with the guys all along, and call her a slut and ask her ifshe had been sleeping with them. Before she can’t react, Byakuya slaps theperson who insulted her, and tells them he won’t let them insult Rukia in hishouse. Then Rukia breaks down and says that’s the first time since Hisana’sdeath that Byakuya has looked her in the eye. Byakuya tries to comfort her andasks her if she feels comfortable living with him. She admits she wants to goback to living with Urahara, Uryuu and Ichigo.

14. Meanwhile, Uryuu and Ichigo feel like a part ofthem died when Rukia left. Urahara gives them her address, and they both rushout to find the house. Uryuu gets lost and it’s up to Ichigo to find the house.Though they fight the whole time, they feel that they are in the same boat asboth miss her. They eventually find Byakuya’s house just in time to listen howByakuya’s relatives insult her. The two get enraged because how dare they hatesomeone as amazing and kind as Rukia! But before they can act, they witness howByakuya defends her and asks her if she’s happy living with him. When they hearRukia confess she wants to go back, both go inside the house and tell Rukia she’salways welcomed to come back. Rukia nods with a watery smile.

15. As Uryuu collects her stuff, Ichigo takes Rukiaout of the house and scolds her for just living. If she had asked from thestart, they would have told her she could stay as long as she wanted. Rukiasays she didn’t mean to impose. Ichigo calls her an idiot and tells her she’llnever impose on them or be seen as a nuance. That he doesn’t see her as that.Then Uryuu returns and tells her he feels the same. She’s part of the familyalready, more than their own relatives have ever been. Rukia agrees to continueliving with them for as long as they will have her, and together they returnhome.

Obviously, there’s much more that can go on, but I don’twant to spoil others who might want to watch Fruits Basket.

This was so much fun! And I’m sorry I took so long. Atfirst I was going to write a few sentences but I decided this ask deserved muchmore! I love Fruits Basket and Bleach very much. Maybe later on I’ll actuallywrite the AU. But who knows.

Thanks again for the ask!

#ichiruki

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

[unbakehisbeans]

I’m so tired and I don’t want to do anything. It sucks because like I don’t even really know how to express my feelings in a way that helps.

Like, I stay up late to do homework and then I get up early-ish to go to school and I don’t really zone out while driving I pay attention basically the whole time so that’s really tiring and then I do the mental work required of me in class and then I do the mental work required of me for homework and it really wears me out. I need more rest than this. And then on top of that I don’t get enough to eat most days so im even more tired.

And I’m stressed as hell because it’s the end of the semester and I was out of commission for three days because of my trip for grad school so now my work has piled up and I have so little time to do what I need to do and even less energy. If I wasn’t so drained and tired I wouldn’t have to stay up late to do my homework because I’d get it done before bedtime, but I’m always drained and tired because I have to go to class and commute then worry about dinner and do my chores. So I’m worried about not getting things done in time and making bad grades because of it and I’m worried I won’t finish my manuscript in time and my scholarship will be revoked and I’m worried about disappointing people if I don’t do well.

And every time I express this to anyone they’re always just kind of like well you always do the work and you always get good grades so everything will be okay, and that’s not really what I want to hear, idk what I want to hear but it’s not that. Like, I know that, I know that it’ll be okay and that I’ll get it done and do a good job but it still feels really bad right now. And more than that I’m so upset about the cost it all comes at.

I don’t get to rest, I don’t get to eat, I don’t get to exercise and keep my body healthy, I don’t get much of a social life, and driving to school costs me so much money. I’ve been grieving for my youth and my health basically. It sucks that I don’t get to hang out with friends and loved ones, it sucks that my success is directly related to really unhealthy behaviours, it sucks that I have to be so stressed and so tired.

And like I try not to complain because it sounds really petty and I think everyone hates that the girl with the sparkly grades and the phd program acceptance is complaining about school—and yeah you’re so right, so much of the work required for this is easy for me and I’m good at it, but look at the cost of it all. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I’m not really miserable or anything I’m just overwhelmed and I feel like I’m drowning.

And I think people’s expectations for how difficult college is and what that looks like really fuck me over here. Like I know all-nighters are relatively normal but I never ever do them, I can’t do them because at some point I just can’t focus and get any work done AND it’s horribly dangerous because I have to drive for two hours going 70-80 mph and that should never be done after an all nighter because somebody could die. And most of my work gets turned in on time I’m not usually late, but that’s because that work has hard deadlines and is usually less time and labour intensive than the work that isn’t getting done. And I’m not like outwardly freaking out, I don’t break down and cry in front of people and I don’t constantly tell the people around me that I’m exhausted and stressed and lonely and feel like I’m dying inside. So yeah I’m sure on the outside it looks like I’m perfectly fine and when I say that I’m not doing okay then idk I guess no one believes me? And idk what I need I want emotional support but idk what that looks like.

And I’m kind of furious with and jealous of other people. Like I know other people who complain and wear their stress on their sleeve, but a lot of those people have time to spend time with friends, or they have time to work out or even go to the gym and stuff, and every single one of them has time to eat they all eat just fine everyone else eats enough with no problems. They have time to read for pleasure and to watch TV. Am I doing something wrong?? How come I don’t have time to work out and eat and watch TV? How come I don’t have time to have a social life?

It feels like I’m locked inside a little grey box. I get up I go to school I come home I eat I do homework then I go to bed. And even then, even though I’m not doing anything else there’s still not enough time to do everything I need to do, how could there possibly be time to socialize or work out or watch TV?