#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like

[the-kipsabian]

im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever

#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently #everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason #timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like #the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun #yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time #like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!! #but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it #i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass #i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out #like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that #and theres no point doing that afterwards #and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just #mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about #and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes #sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it #and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone #i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just... #im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me #im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay #im gonna go now. im sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[elysiumrp]

Congratulations MIA! You have been accepted as Alexandra Jackson. Please go through the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours. If you need more time, make sure you send a message to the main.

Low and behold, the almost queen of the wolves has returned into the depths of Elysium once more. Embodying what so many people feel when your life is set and it’s all taken, even more so when that it was rightfully your’s all along. She has a diversity to her, from being able to rise up with the Resistance, continuing to make a name for herself as she wants and not what she thinks she should want, and all the way to getting in control. Alexandra is a pivotal character to Elysium, and from the looks of your application, you have hit that spot on. The fact that you want to explore her has a character, how everything has been pent up for so long, it would be amazing to see how you play her out if she ever releases that jar of intensities. The depth she has, and how your willing to dig as deep as you can to find out every nook and cranny, gosh, can I just say I’m just overly excited to see it happen? You’ve talked about the possibilities that can happen with her. You’ve given us a feel on how her emotions are about everything and how you plan to do it. Mia, let’s see you do this all, and yes, we approve the Zoey Deutch FC change. Welcome to Elysium!!

OOC INFO

Name: Mia Age: 20 Timezone: EST Preferred Pronouns: She / Her  Previous RP Experience: [RFP] Activity Level: 8/10, my life is wacky but I’m usually pretty good Anything Else: Nadda!

IC INFO

Character Name: Alexandra Jackson Why did you choose this character:

Many characters caught my eye, but Alexandra’s won me over with the way she tries to keep everything inside. Going off of this, the day that all of this pent up anger finally explodes is one that I’m looking forward to. That opens many doors for this character, and I’m excited to explore which directions I can take her in. Going off of this, she is still learning to control herself while shifting. She’s killed many without a clue as to what happened, and exploring the guilt and the impact that this can have on her is something I can’t wait to pursue – I also tend to be attracted most to the characters that have been through the most. I love the angst that can come with it.

Describe your plan for them:

Although Alexandra has somewhat become accustomed to working alongside humans, I want to go more in depth with the part of her that wants nothing more than to find those members that were once part of her pack. It’s clear that she wants nothing more than to keep moving up in the human world seeing as things didn’t go to plan with her pack, but those are still her people. I think that’s something she’ll want to fight for no matter what, especially when she’s holding so much in on her own. It’ll also be interesting to see how she reacts to tasks that the Resistance gives her. I’m excited to explore that area, especially when Alexandra seems to be more stressed to be part of this group than she seems grateful.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the initial reveal of the supernatural world:

At this point I can see Alexandra being used to having bad things happen to her. From the death of her mother, to her father, and then losing her pack as well, it’s almost as if she didn’t think she could lose anything else. When hearing the news of the supernatural secret becoming public, she did feel fear, but she didn’t let it crush her. After everything she’d built, especially fitting in so nicely with the people that she worked with, she wouldn’t let that crumble. That was something she got from her father, and although she isn’t leading their pack as he would’ve wanted her to, she knew that he would be just as proud of her as she continued moving up in the human world. This is also something that could come as an advantage to her, because she wouldn’t be someone easily suspected of the bodies coming in needing to be examined – even though any of them could’ve been from her, which is something she wouldn’t have a clue of.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the current state of the world, and how it impacts them as an individual:

Along with the fear she felt, Alexandra couldn’t help but feel somewhat excited. The Resistance had taken her in, and she couldn’t help but feel that she had somewhat found a new pack – a new family, for the time being. Although she would never admit that, being the hard headed wolf that she was, she couldn’t help but feel as if she had a purpose to serve. She loved the humans she worked with and didn’t want anything to happen to either side, but being able to help her own kind in the world that they were now living in was slowly trumping whatever else she felt.

Para Sample:

“Jesus, look at this one.”

As soon as the sheet lifted from the body, Lex tried her hardest to hold her ground. She would know a wolf’s claws from anywhere, but this – this body was mangled, and that was taking it lightly. In a sense, she was glad she couldn’t recognize the face of the dead before her. If she did, she didn’t know how much longer she would have been able to keep her composure. She’s been in this situation more times than she could count, but this was different. The night before had been a full moon, and that shook her to her core. On any other given day, this situation wouldn’t have fazed her. She avoids turning if she has to, especially because of the humans she surrounds herself with on a daily basis, but when the moon is full, she has no choice in the matter— and the idea of self control isn’t something she had gotten a grasp of quite yet.

That’s why fear had struck so hard. This body in front of her could easily be another one of her many victims after a full moon’s turn, but there was no way of her knowing.

“Easily a wolf,” Ryan muttered. He was the only coworker that Lex happened to hate, something she didn’t bother keeping hidden from him. Of course he had to be the one with her now. “Fuck, it tore her apart. And now it’s probably walking the streets, belly full, enjoying this beautiful day.” Clenching her fists, Lex found herself taking deep breaths, her anger trying to make its way out of her. She knew letting herself get this worked up was never a good thing, but she couldn’t help it. Ryan’s words did nothing to help with what she’d been feeling, and the realization that the body in front of her had longer, dark brown hair that could have easily been Sam’s had her wolf clawing to come out, to make the pure terror that she felt go away.

Without a second thought, Lex shoved her hands deep into her lab coats pockets, feeling her claws digging into her skin. If her blood was found anywhere near this body, she knew there would be problems that she wouldn’t be able to cover up this time. Lex needed to calm herself down, and the only way she’d be able to do that is by making sure that this body wasn’t in here because of her—and that it wasn’t someone she knew.

As if luck was on her side, Ryan left the examination room, saying he’d be right back. Knowing this was the only chance she’d get, the second the door shut, Lex got as close to the body as she possibly could. Shutting her eyes for a mere second, she felt her eyes change to the familiar golden brown, her body burning in anticipation, but she could only let it go so far. Smelling the body in front of her, she had to concentrate on getting past the smell of blood. Once she managed that, Lex pulled back, relief flooding her body at the unfamiliar scent of the woman. Although that did nothing to ease her mind of the fact that she could’ve put this woman in a body bag, the fact that it wasn’t a familiar scent was enough to put her inner panic at bay. The rest she would have to figure out later.

Any questions/concerns/things you’d like to change: (siblings to add, pronouns, sexuality you’d like to specify, personality, face claim, history, etc., etc.)

An FC change to Zoey Deutch would be wonderfulllllll!

#accepted #supernatural rpg #bio rpg #lsrpg #fandom rpg