#im having a weird day so im just doing whatever and posting this although i doubt anybody cares lol. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

burningvelvet · 3 months

Text

on percy shelley & human connection & coping through art

to set the mood of this post i must say i'm writing it really quickly on my phone over a bowl of pasta with bread & broccoli & some orange flavored sparkling water & im still dressed in my outdoor wintery clothes (all black, knee boots, wool, silver chains & rings, although i mostly prefer gold jewelry).

so anyway today i've been kind of sad over ppl not replying to my texts & my usual reaction is to say "ok, guess i'll kms, wah wah, cry cry" but this sort of passively cynical joking schtick has gotten old & i would rather occupy myself some other way instead of moping about failed connections or the difficulty of initiating contact with anyone or the struggles of modern socialization as a whole.

instead, i will read the works of percy shelley tonight, and think about how he struggled with all of this over 200 yrs ago. of how hard he struggled to make leigh hunt and lord byron collaborate with him on their journal the liberal, and how he struggled all his life to build a positive community even in spite of years of bullying, ostracization, and family strife - he often felt like giving up, and like human connection was impossible, but he never gave in to apathy and instead he continuously curated his ideal life by seeking out other like-minded people, even when he occasionally embarrassed himself in public or when others were decidely averse to him or lukewarm in their reception. john keats didn't entirely take to him when they met and some of keats' friends straight-up disliked percy for being weird, but percy (though scarcely knowing him) loved keats as a brother-poet nonetheless, was generous to him, wrote one of his masterpieces in his favor, and died with a copy of his poems in his pocket.

percy always reached out to others and was a loyal friend even when others disrespected him or ignored him or just simply didnt love him as much as he did them. his letters to lord byron show how reverent he was to his friend, and how his affection was never returned in quite the same gusto, but, while still trying to keep his self-respect, percy quelled his frustrations and continued his correspondence with byron regardless. percy acted as the mediator between byron and claire even when his stress was so high it weighed heavily on his health. he actively tried to choose to be positive even when the people around him were negative or miserable. like most writers back then, he sent his writing to his idols, and sought mentorship from people he admired, like william godwin and leigh hunt, and he continued to respect them even when they took advantage of him financially (moreso in godwin's case).

anyway what i mean to say is that whenever im feeling lonely or rejected or alienated or socially stupid or am just second-guessing my role in society or whatever whatever whatever, i cling to creativity/art/literature/etc. even harder than i regularly do, because thats what it exists for.

i knew a therapist (not one i saw as a patient, but someone i knew through mutual interests in media/the arts) who said that a certain musical performance we both loved probably saved way more lives than any single therapist ever has. - the performance in question was david bowie's tokyo 1990 live recording of rock n roll suicide, an anti-suicide song (its available on youtube, go watch it lol, he performs it with so much conviction).

any way even though at the end of his life shelley sometimes felt like he was failing to achieve his dream of building a utopian art commune - he actually did succeed in introducing several people to each other in ways that changed peoples lives. his friends jane williams and thomas jefferson hogg got married only through his mutual friendship. whole literary societies have been started in his honor - to this day there are conferences & whatnot that meet annually - his life & writing continues to inspire people and bring them comfort - & he would be extremely proud of that - any artist would. the main goal of any famous dead writer is basically to become the imaginary friend of their future readers & he accomplished that - even though all the time he was wracked with doubt/depression/suicidality/illness/chronic pain, etc. - as a political/philosophical radical, he realized that having hope is one of the most influential & radical things one can do - & i'm glad that, even though this is a person who died over 200 yrs ago, there is at least one person who really resonates with me - even though we're from different centuries, different continents, different sexes, etc. - it's helpful to have positive influences to look up to, especially when they've also struggled in similar ways as you. and although shelley was pretty privileged (rich englishman) he really did struggle a lot mentally & physically - his life was a chaotic mess - and he wasn't perfect at all - but i think he's still inspirational for my previously mentioned reasons - his ceaseless hope. the last poem he was working on was titled the triumph of life, even though he wrote it during a deep depression. the last poem he published in his lifetime was hellas, which he hoped would raise money for the cause of greek war of independence. from the poem:

"Life may change, but it may fly not;

Hope may vanish, but can die not;

Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;

Love repulsed, — but it returneth!"

#percy bysshe shelley #percy shelley #me #?#ramblings #my writing #art #literature #socializing #thoughts #hopepunk #that was shelley #tw suicide mention #opinions #essays #poetry #social anxiety

25 notes · View notes

feelingpoorly · 3 months

Text

Life lesson: avoid expired egg noodles

So I usually post whiny attention seeking shit like this on my insta bc even tho my kink does not apply to me at all, in some weird way complaining about how ill and knowing people would see it still kinda turns me on a little

But I figured what better place to whine about it here instead since, idk this is kinda what this blog is for

So we went to the shop last night and got a bunch of food from the reduced section. We do this fairly regularly cuz the expired food is so cheap and it’s usually fine if you eat it same day

Well I learnt my lesson lol. Amongst one of the things we got a couple packs of fresh egg noodles in some sauce. I didn’t really like them, but store bought is never gonna be as good as the real thing anyway right?

I was snacking on some cereal at like midnight, having eaten these noodles at like 7. I noticed that I was getting pretty severe stomach pain in the top of my stomach. It was weird and I didn’t really understand why. However I had taken some prescription painkillers earlier that day and although I take a different medication with them to try and stop this happening, they can have a habit of wrecking my stomach and giving me a tummy ache. I thought it was weird, since I definitely HAD remembered to take them with the other med this time, but whatever

Anyway I woke up this morning, we were going out to meet up with some of my partners friends for coffee. I immediately realised I felt bloated as hell, like painfully so. I figured it would pass once I was up and moving around.

It did not.

It pretty quickly progressed into pretty severe stomach cramps, to the point where every time I stood up, it would cramp so hard I couldn’t stop myself from kinda curling over and wincing. At that point I was starting to worry something was actually wrong and I wasn’t just a bit bloated.

I quite quickly started feeling pretty sick, and that’s panic territory for me, being emetophobic. I took a dissolvable anti sickness tablet, but the nausea combined with the horrible cramping made me feel very unwell. I really felt awful and sick and at that point I had to say to my partner, if I say I don’t feel well please can you just take me home. I didn’t know how I was gonna cope sitting in a coffee shop feeling like this. When the cramps hit I was in a lot of pain. Bearing in mind I live with chronic pain, I’m not a baby about pain, but this was the kind of pain that you just wince voluntarily and I couldn’t hide it.

Thankfully the anti sickness meds kicked in, and after sitting down for a while the nausea and the cramps settled down a bit to the point where I was no longer freaking out about being ill in public. I should probably add here that on the way there in the car, my stomach was making some really upset sounding deep rumbling gurgles. Like it didn’t sound good. The kinda gurgles that only come with being sick. I didn’t feel well enough to have a drink or anything to eat which probably looked a little suss. Later on a got just a bottle of lemonade hoping it would settle my stomach but when I sipped it, it just make it worse and my stomach started cramping again.

Skip to being home this evening, I’d thought the worse was over and I’d been feeling kinda ok. I had some light dinner, and what a fucking bad idea that was lol.

Im not having the intermittent intense cramps anymore but like, now my whole stomach feels bloated af again and I have like this sharp cramping pain kinda all over, both upper and lower stomach with just no relief. I’m so bloated my stomach is sticking out but there’s no relief from it at all. Holding my stomach helps but I feel so embarrassed so I’ve tried to hide it and only rub my tummy when my partner went to sleep.

What makes it worse, is that up until this point I had no idea what caused any of this. But when we got home, there was an absolutely rancid smell in the kitchen that smelt like off, rotting food. It was absolutely foul. It almost even smelt like vomit, and just smelling it made my nausea kick off all over again.

It was the leftover noodles. And let me tell you, they smelt pungent as FUCK. I literally ate those last night, and they smell that bad today? No wonder I’ve felt ill. I have that shit in my stomach. Even after my partner bagged up the leftovers, sealed it and put it in the bin, just the PLATE they were on is still emitting this foul smell, it’s just awful

Eating dinner was a bad choice, because now I just feel worse again. I don’t feel that sick anymore, probably because of the meds, but my stomach feels horrible again. I’m in so much pain, I can’t suck my tummy in at all with how sore and bloated and painful it is. I feel like an absolutely pathetic self indulgent lil bitch but I literally just went to make myself a hot water bottle to hold to my tummy as I try and sleep, because it hurts and this is not fun. I just want some relief, and currently nothing else is helping. As I’m lying here holding my tummy with one hand and holding the hot water bottle on it with the other, it’s gurgling and glugging really loudly sickly again and it just feels awful. I can literally feel it in my insides, and with the way it feels I just really hope it doesn’t all come back up again, probably still along with the undigested noodles from last night if the way I’m feeling is anything to go by 🥺

Anyway, I just came here to complain about it in way too much detail lmao. Hopefully someone enjoys my misery. As I said, although it’s embarrassing as hell, somehow the thought of other people knowing or being sympathetic etc is also kinda hot

If anyone wants to use my sorry ass as fic inspo then ofc you have my blessing lmao. In fact, if you do, PLEASE let me know as I’d love to read it haha

Anyway, off to moan quietly to myself and hold the hot water bottle on my aching tummy now x

#sickfic #emeto #emetophilia #emeto kink #sickfic ideas #sickfic prompt #emeto blog #sick #irl sickfic #food poisoning #irl tummy ache #tummy ache #irl emeto #emeto storytime

22 notes · View notes

aether-friskets · 8 months

Text

Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?

it came to me in a dream.

ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long

Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.

I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.

(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)

My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.

I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.

When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.

Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.

the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.

But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.

Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.

Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.

That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.

like HELLO??

I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.

Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.

Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.

This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.

anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #waylon park #im risking tagging this even tho im embarrassed lol #i feel like this will all sound silly #but i guess its a personal view/experience #not a objective truth #so like w/e #anyway i wrote this despite having a project due today that i havent started #:P #i may die

30 notes · View notes

meatsex · 22 days

Note

I’d like to hear the reasons why you don’t want to post art ever again. I’m just curious, and I respect your decision not to.

im still kinda asleep so im gonna try to make this legible and also not too personal although it is tied to my art so i guess by default it is

tl;dr im embarassed and i think everyone looks at me weird so i kinda want to disappear some times

i cant avoid feeling like everyone thinks of me as weird because i make so much art of this one guy and 50% of that is because i can make art really fast so i can do a lot of it but then i also probably look crazy because i really do so much art but i can only pull off the "well i have autism" card so many times before it loses all meaning and also its not something i actually want to talk about

i try not too think about this too much cuz if it were true then i probably wouldnt have the amount of numbers i have in social media and i wouldnt have people sending me requests/ideas or people making art for me and i feel like im ungrateful that despite all of these things i still feel like im an outsider or that everyone secretly hates me but i kinda cant avoid it because im someone that inherently feels like a weirdo half of the time and then ill just say it again my first weeks in the vs community kinda sucked ass n all of my close people have always reassured me that these people were overreacting but

and then when i make personal art its like this cringefest gore nudity shit and thats been my thing for like 6 years now but i feel like it doesnt make me look any better even though i dont mix the two things

i really do all of the art i do out of appreciation, i know my way of showing it isnt drawing in a cute style that makes everything look beautiful or super happy but thats just not how i work and it kinda makes me feel like i dont belong or that im just looked at weirdly and its kinda hard not to say "i dont want to post ever again" because its the only thing ive been drawing

like i made a zine of all my art and posted it and so many ppl liked it but i was this close to ultimately not posting it because looking at it from afar i kept thinking "oh wow i look insane and i think everyone is going to think so too" so yeah im just constantly feeling paranoid over something at the end of the day i guess i cant control or whatever

i try not to fall into whatever concept people currently have of parasocialism cuz like i said some days i dont care about my art being acknowledged by the guy and most of it i do as fanart of him as a singer which is why it ends up looking kinda edgy but again how do others perceive meeeee lol lmao

alternatively you might not even be a vs fan so this means nothing to you in that case sorry anon if you actually read through all of this

#long post #no one gaf i should have written how i felt last night because now everything feels cloudy #im gonna post this before i keep adding onto it and if i need to ill just make a whole new post sorry

14 notes · View notes

daenystheedreamer · 10 months

Note

pls more abt viserys Omaegorverse I'm so fascinated it's insane and i honestly think grrm would b proud

im so happy u love it and this means so much but i do NOT think he would be proud 😭 he would read my posts (gun to his head ofc he wouldnt just. do that.) and sit in silence for a few minutes and then he would say. Maegor isnt gay what are you talking about. and i go well thats not really the point and anyway sexuality is kinda fluid and its more about opportunity and power than about sexual attraction although i will concede- and then he sends elio and linda with spears to hunt me down.

he's canonically a nothing character with personality of 'Beloved Of The Commons' n nothing else so i can kinda do whatever tf i want with him which is fun. he's also mostly there to be a sad wet cat that gets kicked by everyone and everyone he loves dies or is weird about him in some way. he's my special little sad uke twink i brutalise for my personal entertainment <3 im so maegorcoded so tyannacoded... anyway more about my babyboy viserys below<3 warning its SOOO long like fifteen fucking paragraphs Jesus christ

trigger warnings for like everything. incest death depression mental instability murder psychosis uhhh. torture and suicide. just all of it do NOT read unless youre like super certain you wanna read about my deviantart OCs because guys it is NOT worth it

childhood pre-Torture Labyrinth. he's born in 29 AC and was 8-ish when he was at the deathbed of Aegon1. aegon the uncrowned is three years older than him, and rhaena is six years older. jaehaerys is 5 years younger, alysanne is 7 years younger vaella who i kept alive is 10 years younger. just to give an idea of ages and general canon info :>

his only personality trait is Promising and Beloved of the commons. i think him and aegon were friends :) younger brother so he followed after him a lot. slightly scared of rhaena the big cool older sister who has a pet dragon. think his granddad is soooo cool doesnt really think about The Implications of conquest or anything. normal boy normal childhood (as normal as possible when ur siblings are married...) also he is gay because it adds to the horrors later on 🥰

something i think is Inchresting is the rhaena, aegon and viserys are named for rhaenys, aegon and visenya :3 i think viserys is like hercules right where he was named in an attempt to appease The Wife. aenys was like hiiiii auntie/stepmum visenya look i named a kid after you you dont wanna kill me right?right? and she looks at this kid who didnt claim a dragon isnt a girl isnt maegor and goes oh so youre insulting me huh.

i think rhaena aegon viserys had a slightly weird dynamic. rhaena the lesbian getting forcibly betrothed to her younger brother by her father is gonna make things weird, also aegon was 15 and rhaena 18 which adds just the best most awesome sauce to the mix. i think viserys had very complicated feelings on that especially if he is gay cos like... rhaena obviously does not love her brother romantically right. so u are a boy and ur sister is a lesbian but you dont have that word. and you are gay and your brother is cool and the crown prince and everyone is screwing their siblings and that makes your brain chemistry weird. and now your brother is marrying your gay sister. What about you. the dragon has three heads??? idk he's like 12 at this point he just goes back to playing hide and seek with jae+aly.

Uh oh daddy's dead. daddy's dead and uncle maegor is king now with his three wives. Uh oh. oh awesome he's kidnapped you and you're his squire now that's so cool. well its mostly a power play and hes not actually making u do anything as long as you stay locked in the red keep all day he leaves you alone. also maegor's insane girlfriend stares at you like you're a baby lamb that would make a delicious lamb tostada. but hey your big brother aegon has a dragon now and him and rhaena are gonna save you soon. Uh oh aegon's dead. aegon's dead and maegor is king for real for real.

everyone steers clear of you in the keep. you used to play with your siblings and the commoners and you used to play on dragonstone and kings landing and now no one wants to touch you. no one is calling you maegor's squire now, the pretence is gone. you are maegor's hostage. you fantasise about a different outcome, where maegor took you to the battle as his squire, and that you being there might have changed what happened. maybe you could have warned aegon. but you know nothing would have changed. youre not a dragonrider. you're worthless you're powerless. youre 14 years old :)

alys harroway is dead. maegor killed his wife. you knew alys, you saw her around the keep. she seemed very nice. she was very quiet and stayed in her rooms. she was always pregnant. you wonder why she married maegor, why she and tyanna are so strange with each other. you hear rumours. you wish you had talked to her. but she's dead now. maegor killed her. maegor tortured her. she's a whore now. you look out the window and see her rotting leg on a stake outside, her torso on another. you wish you had talked to her.

visenya targaryen the looming shadow over your life, the woman you're named after who looked at you with nothing but scorn, is dead. your mother is gone and she took jae and aly. what about you? what about you? is she not your mother too? are you not her little boy anymore? you are 15 years old. maegor killed alys' family when he was angry with her. is he going to kill you now?

ok second person pov over the gimmick is getting lame. anyway this is where the AU deviates: instead of viserys dying of torture, maegor is like hey maybe my nephew will be more fertile than my BITCH wives. and visenya the blood witch before her death compiled a bunch of old valyrian a/b/o fanfiction and said son if you ever find yourself with infertile wives. Consult These Texts. then tyanna and maegor made viserys mpreggable i dont care about how or like. what his body looks like. im not into the fetish of omegaverse LMAO i dont want to think about the fertilisation or birthing process or what organs he has thats unnecessary. only thing thats important is viserys can incubate babies and they are birthed via c-section :3

quick lore dump: vis is forced to maegor -> rhaena crashes the wedding but vis is so broken at this point he just doesnt want anyone else to die and has resigned himself to maegor so rhaena reluctantly surrenders -> alyssa jae and aly DO go to the red keep after they find out about the wedding and jae dies fighting maegor which makes viserys fully break -> alyssa now has husband dead 2 kids dead her son is queen and she also loses her fight :( lives on dragonstone with alive vaella -> alysanne is given to the faith -> rhaena agrees to a truce and she is hand of the king now and viserys' main protector -> vis gets pregnant and the kid is basically a reincarnation of jaehaerys -> tyanna loses her shit and tries to murder/sterilise/whatever viserys so maegor kills her cos he's finally got his babymaker -> vis has a daughter who's the reincarnation of tyanna -> faith uprising, shut down -> vis has his second daughter final child daenys who's birth is heralded by the martyrdom of poxy jeyne poor in the quashed faith uprising

vis is in the torture labyrinth for a couple decades. life sucks husband sucks everyone is weird about him. very death in venice people are weird about the boy type deal. has to wade through gender and sexuality politics of westeros which means several men going utterly insane about him including a couple kingsguard knights (celibate hypermasculine freaks bound to be insane sexually). one point early-ish on he DOES start believing this one kingsguard knight will save him from The Hells The Horrors but maegor finds out and kills that guy adn sexually humiliates viserys in front of the kingsguard and makes their son watch. So that fucks up vis' psyche for a while :3

rhaena and alysanne try to convince him to rebel and run away that they will use their dragons and fight. but maegor has made vis so paranoid and crazy he thinks maegor knows everything knows all his thoughts so he's terrified of plotting escape cos he thinks maegor will kill everyone. plus maegor made sure to force kids onto him early so that vis wouldnt be able to leave :3 world's most evil babytrap of all time.

vis doesnt interact with anyone except rhaena aly maegor his kids and the kingsguard so yeah its bad for him. ceryse hangs around for a while but shes like yeah i dont want any part of this shit dude being queen is NAWT worth it and she goes back to the hightower to plot marrying her niece off to maegor's son.

also there's a curse on the kingsguard all of them die really horribly and early. its a fun little thing for me personally because in f&b maegor's kinsguard is cartoonishly bad and jae's is cartoonishly perfect so i though Hey what if we did a little curse on the kingsguard ey. that would be fun. the only guy who stays long is a bracken because brackenfail cancels out knightfail. he's all godly and pissy about the gay marriage thing but he's also a monarchist so even though he think maegor is satan he's like well. he is my king i must serve him i obey my vows. he thinks viserys is a freak of nature but slowly grows to respect him and helps kill maegor + takes the fall for it. they have a weird father figure/white knight/weird tension thing that never gets consummated yay ^_^ the maegor torture labyrinth will have you 21 years old and best friends with a 50 year old celibate knight like dang where tf ser bracken at today 🥹

viserys snaps in 66AC with no like big catalyst or anything. he just has a good day where he's mostly lucid and he's angry and he's tired of everything and he's sick of maegor and he wants freedom he wants to be free. he wants to breath the air without panicking that maegor is going to hurt him. and maegor says some disgusting comment to him while theyre alone in the throne room and vis just snaps and start fighting him. daenys shows up cos she had her own Visions and Voices and they just start whaling on him. bracken knight helps too he takes most of maegor's counter attacks his organs are all over the floor but maegor dies impaled on the throne YAY

vis is like. A bit better for a while. his son is now king and vis is seeing that oh it doesnt get better does it people will still die. also his son jae has this weird oedipus complex about him thanks to maegor's insane parenting and viserys is fully aware of that so its not fun times for him. jae and daenys try to make him better try to invent therapy but its the middle ages they dont have that yet. they finally send him off to harrenhal (BAD IDEA) because they think viserra (the elder daughter btw, the tyanna one) might be able to cure him with her weird witchcraft. they think she's insane too but its the last option... viserra thinks vis is lame and weak but she does love him in ehr own way or maybe just pities him. anyway she does her best and it works for a while but viserys sorta gives up cos the depression is too much. and viserra believes in euthanasia as a mercy and thinks this is best for him this will let him be at peace. daenys has a premonition about it and tries to stop him. she has a big blowout fight with jae about it too and curses his bloodline and prophesises the long night. burned the red keep a little bit, you know how it is.

blah blah blah anyway daenys and vis end up dying in the gods eye together in a murder/suicide suicide/suicide murder/murder whatever. viserra has the lake dragged and they're found holding each other like a mother and her fetus :3

Fucks sake this post is long. holy shit holy fuck. my fucking bad guys my bad im so sorry. Holy shit. anyway thats my deviant art oc tee hee ^_^

#ive never read a little life but i suspect i have somewhat cribbed it. my bad guys brutalising a fictional gayboy is just so fun #au:omaegorverse #you guys have GOT to blacklist that tag if u dont wanna lose any respect you have for me. it is So embarrassing im sorry to be lke this 😭#ask #anonymous #oc:viserystargaryen

30 notes · View notes

noyasaur · 3 months

Note

hii this is probs gonna be a weird question but i’ve been thinking about it for days and i wanna know your opinion

So, basically would it be weird if in one DR, (lets say a harry potter DR) I’m harry’s sister, but then in another harry potter DR, im his girlfriend? I’d make different DRselves for each DR tho. And this question goes for all DRs not just harry potter. Would this be weird, or would it be fine? <3

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hello! first of all, i don't think i'll bother getting into the morals of reality shifting and the 'rights' and 'wrongs' (i'll leave that for another post if anyone is interested) and i'll just say my opinion on this regarding whether i would ever do this to provide my perspective on this!

personally, would i ever do this? no, i don't think i would. now, i completely understand that in every reality you are a different person anyway and realities are separate from each other. 'technically', you could say it's not wrong, but mentally and morally, i don't think i could do this.

to me, it would be weird to know i'm dating somebody in one reality who i have romantic feelings for, then shifting to another reality where we are literally siblings. even though you could argue that your a different person in each reality, i would still have those memories of experiences i've shared with each 'version' of them.

like i can't imagine being in a reality where i'm hanging out with my brother and then i remember something that happened between us in another reality where we are dating, you know?

remember that every reality you experience is a real reality. real-life. the experiences you have in each reality are going to affect you as a person (unless you intend for each reality to not affect you in other realities, of course, which is completely possible).

although, this is just my opinion. and i know there are people who would think otherwise, and that's okay. everyone has different opinions on these kind of things and it just depends on what people are comfortable with and how they view things.

in a nutshell, this type of thing isn't for me because i'm uncomfortable on this and it goes against my morals. but that's just me, and some people's opinions may differ because different people are comfortable with different things.

i hope this helped and provided a new perspective! and i also really hope that it doesn't seem like i'm judging you or anything!! i just wanted to provide my opinion on this because at the end of the day, you're free to do whatever you want in your drs and do whatever you're comfortable with :)

good luck with shifting!

- saturn ♡

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #desired realities #reality shifter #noyasaur #ask saturn💌

13 notes · View notes

nat-of-personifs · 3 months

Text

Y’all know that new unVeiled about the Katharsys Music Festival that got posted to the wiki??? I squealed when Vanguard was mentioned (middle of English class smh smh) but also. Think about them. (I made a random decision and my 6500 child is now nonbinary btw use whatever pronouns you like for them they have days where they feel more boy and days they feel more girl and days they are an agent of chaos, do not bother them in their machinations.) I really like that the festival is called Katharsys, I’m not sure if it was intentional but it sounds like catharsis??? which is just fun.

And then Ira and Matti both sitting in on the fourth festival in person like we are here to supervise and ARREST SOME FUCKIN PARACRIMINALS and do either of them care about the kickass music?? of course not Ira had fucking headphones on.

And then there’s Vanguard. Why do you want to go with your crowd control contingent in person good sir ma’am mixer?? Yeah there are PEOPLE THERE and this guy needs human touch and exchange and conversation or their little extroverted ass will get so sad and I want to pinch their cheeks again so BADLY help I need to draw them sneaking snacks on duty I just wanna pinch their cheeks helpppppppppppppp

I just wanna pinch a boi’s cheeks okay??? Look at that. Face. LOOK AT IT

Okay anyway come on dude we know you just want to vibe. How do. How do the pataphysicists stop y’all from ascending to a higher narrative level. Just curious. Esterberg and Eurtec are kinda both there in person ofc so is Lighthouse-120 (Vanguard’s mother!! not Ira she’s a hater /hj) they’re vibing too it’s probably really awkward between Esterberg and Eurtec dirty dirty Coalition girl except they’re also making Illicit Deals. I’m trying to figure out how exactly the Blood and Gold districts work for Eurtec, does Blood have a subavatar??? In any case Esterberg’s way more chill with Blood. She’d beat up Gold. Matti probably beats Eurtec tbh not gonna lie ma’am don’t act like you’re not the Powers That Be in a cyberpunk dystopia although considering everyone’s watching you now it’s probably a bit less dystopia and a bit more cyberpunk but still, y’ain’t exactly being a very good mother there with those enforcers and all f you f you.

I want to think more about Matti beating Eurtec at some point WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE LORE ON EURTEC IM SO SAD AHSID)MASJIDSNAKSKSMM I WANT TO DRAW HER LIKE MINTAII CLAD IN GOLD JEWELRY AND RAGS AND BARELY STANDING UPRIGHT BUT COALITION’S GOLDEN CHILD AS LONG AS YOU CAN’T SEE HER LEGS EURTEC EURTEC EURTEC

But yes Esterberg is on her home territory and she could not be happier. Katharsys is one hell of a blood transfusion. She does some shit with the password system maybe makes it silly or something

no Eurtec we do not talk about what happened with the f I f t h Katharsys. There’s a big starfish shaped dent in one of her prosthetics

wait apparently the seventh Katharsys is supposed to happen this year why does the publishing date say 2028?? AUTHOR

I also think 3Ports and some others will be there bc Tattle Antlers and stuff and also because it’s an opportunity for them to Gather Together And Vibe as personifs. Vanguard will congratulate Ports on that one time she whacked Ira over the head with a protest sign (Anderson. Also Esterberg has that picture framed on her wall)

WAIT SHIT HAVE I EVER MENTIONED THAT 120 LIVED WITH ESTERBERG FOR A BIT?? like those two oddest roommates of all time. Weird little upstart Site and 1000 year old city whose mother is the remnants of the *good* Fae queen.

also also also there are still spiderweb cracks on Esterberg’s body from Ira flushing most of the Fae up a chimney (4000, Ralliston’s Proposal) and Katharsys helps with that. I think. The cracks melded back stronger but they’re still scars damnit

#child abuse mention #scp foundation #I would be sorry to the other authors if they ever found the single Vanguard fanatic on tumblr and realized #I talk Like This #but cringe is dead #and we are free #no return vanguard #the boy of scp 6500’s better timeline #Christ I gotta update that tag #personifposting #NTJ #I’m sorry but I do talk like this irl

4 notes · View notes

cathyshifts · 3 months

Text

just gonna post my experience here even tho no one asked

Okay whatever happened was so chaotic. It was a busy day, I went out with my parents since morning, then when I got home i took a nap at like 4pm, and i watched asmr, trying to sleep. I was in and out of sleep, i couldnt actually sleep tho, like i felt sleepy but i could only close my eyes and kept trying to count down so i would actually sleep. at first it was fine, then i would kind of yanked awake (lol i just said i couldnt sleep) a few times, and probably by the fourth or fifth times, i started feeling floaty, but then i started hearing my family outside, talking and doing chores because they have woken up, and i was like ugh im not gonna let them disturb me. So i affirm that i am capable of shifting to my dr, and nothing can stop me, i also said that bc i heard my sister’s footsteps close to my door and i thought she would open it, so i said that affirmation and was just, fuck it. and then i kind of feel myself rolled over (u know that feeling when ur soul and body feel separated?) and everything turned white. (okay so it was all so hazy i cant really tell what happened first. hmm but idk when this happened but there was a moment where i felt my body siting up, throw the blanket away from my body to get up or sth, then i feel my soul or sth just flopped down, lol like literally just flopped forward). So everything turned white? And i started to enter a dream, it wasnt a lucid dream, and idk why but i probably have some beef with Puss in boots or sth, but i legitimately forgot i was trying to shift for miguel and thought i was shifting for puss in boots instead💀 Also i have a friend in that dream, who were talking about shifting, idk who he was, but he was so handsome. Anywho, we started laughing as i finally remember that i shift for miguel, but i cant remember what we talked about tho? Like everything was so hazy yet so vivid??? but then he said sth like, why haven't u gone already? And im gone? Into another dream🙄 still, i think i landed in Nueva York 😟 Anywhoops, cant remember anything other than me finding miguel, and we hug, and i kept kissing him, kissing his neck, although my brain was trying really hard to picture his body lol, and he laughed and we hugged and kissing (god it was sooo weird bc my brain keep picturing my sister as she was the only person i have ever hugged daily💀) i felt happy, but bc i cant imagine well so its all so blurry too.

Anyway back to the dream, it kind of abruptly ended there, going into another place but still in the dream tho. So i was walking in the park, it was nighttime, and then i saw a girl holding a camera, shes filming sth, and then a boy in a wheelchair? and she was filming her, and he was going to a park bench and staying there. So they looked like they were laughing and having fun, until there were some group of bullies? Idk but they were real mean, and they started getting mad at what idk, but they started to get close to her, and she was too afraid so she was still filming them as she looked their way, and lol idk why but i picked up a bicycle near me and throw it on the nearest bully’s face (they were mostly teenagers lol) and then i grab her and try to swing my way out there, but idk i guess my brain forgot that im supposed to have superstrength so we kind of fall into a pit (it feels like we felt into a pit but it was just i couldnt carry her, there was no pit) and then it turned into a full dream, a thrilling, somewhat horror movie, i swing my way through the buildings and sth bad happened, and she still has the camera, so we were back at my apartment watching it and shivering and getting traumatized lol. Then i woke up (what a ride😻)

#reality shifter #shifting #shifting community #shifting motivation #atsv miguel

3 notes · View notes

etheries1015 · 4 months

Note

Yahallo, this is kinda random but like,, I used to be in TWST years ago and i came back recently, im highkey kinda worried about if im allowed to?? Im an adult and usually a unsafe for work author?? You seem like a reasonable person, anything you could tell me? Is the fanbase as active as it used to be? Would i be welcomed here? Sorry if this is a wild ask but id rather ask then be shunned from something so special to me? Whatever you do, if you just ignore me too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night! -🤍

I can totally get your concerns, I guess sometimes as an adult myself I can get worried about being seen as like...a horrible or weird person getting into "childish" things like Twisted wonderland, but here's the thing.

With the Twisted Wonderland fandom, I see alot of adults here. I keep my blog 18+ for a reason, to interact with other adults that have the same interest as me.

If other people don't share this interest with me, that's fine. They don't have to interact with me, they don't have to be my friend, and frankly, I don't care to talk to those people or react to them if they don't see eye to eye on my interests. My content just isn't for them.

Reality versus fiction. Most adults and people can actively treat those as two completely separate entities. If you can't? that is a whole different issue.

I think this fandom is pretty active...? At least, It's fun to interact with other people who ARE active. I have made quite a few mutuals through this fandom and being an active writer of its characters.

I personally tend to avoid writing NSFW for the younger classes and stick mainly with Malleus and Lilia or the other adults of the game, but there are other writers who I know openly write for the other students who age them up and make certain that they are being clear that they have no alternative motifs. I personally try and see past this, so long as they aren't being openly predatory - because this is where reality vs fiction comes in, and being able to properly differentiate the two is very important.

Some incredibly sensitive souls may take what I say and try and twist around my intent, but I think that if the writer is aging them up and understanding that they are honestly just fictional characters created for a wide range of audience, and you are not actively utilizing it as an excuse to be creepy or predatory, and not actually harming anyone, I don't see much of a problem. I guess that entirely depends on how exactly you're writing it. I have definitely seen a few questionable NSFW posts from a few people that made me question their motifs and ideas behind writing for certain characters, but I simply block them and move on.

There will, of course, be people that disagree with me in that aspect. But then those people just weren't meant to be my audience or my friend, and that's okay.

I say write what you want to write within moral bounds, and hopefully, it hits the audience that you are hoping to aim for. Writing should be self-indulgent and typically for your own entertainment, so do what you feel is right, and it will attract the right people.

I don't really like talking about topics like this unless I actually know the person and their stance on things like this, it always makes me incredibly anxious thinking I may come off wrong or my intentions completely twisted around, so I hope I was able to answer your question satisfactorily without offending anyone. Although, it is impossible to appease everybody.

5 notes · View notes

enrapture · 11 months

Text

I think I’m on the upswing of my sickness or whatever the fuck I have rn, fuck my job and fuck that no boundaries having bitch at work (who got me sick / I’ve prob been having allergies on top of it) . although, I’ve been eating small meals here and there am trying to avoid dairy products rn (I found a list on google what to eat / drink while sick and I’m trying it out) and eat mostly** chicken noodle soup with crackers, ginger with turmeric tea c: spoonfuls of honey, 4hr allergy pill, and got multi fruit (naked) brand drink and some orange juice, I made banana nut muffins I ate a tiny bit of something with garlic in it. And getting a lot a lot of rest! (I need to drink a lot more water though. A lot more. My adhd makes me procrastinate it. actually makes me procrastinate e v e r y t h I n g 😭😵‍💫)

I haven’t been keeping in touch with people as much and or literally no one hits me up anyway BUT !!!! I’m trying my best to focus on myself and my health and do all I can. Be on here and try to be a little more social… it’s just been a little hard because I’ve lacked energy the past few days, very fatigued dizzy headed, throat sore and scratchy, very disoriented as if I’m watching someone control my body sickly weird feeling, (at least that’s what I was dealing with at work / few days ago) can’t miss work or else I will be fired so I have to stay and work everyday that I’m scheduled even when I spoke to my boss about it. (I hate this job so much) but I might be moving soon maybe within the next few months or so idk. So that’s in the works probably idk… Will keep posted.

almost lost my voice this morning but thanks to doing the above remedies I got from the grocery they’ve helped my body a lot! I didn’t feel weird or lacked much energy too much and didn’t feel fatigued at all today although i did take a small nap im about to take another one. I felt a tiny bit disoriented in the grocery but ya know how those lights can be with all the colored goods and shit. But Overall I think I’m doing better :)))) i didn’t feel like absolute dogshit like I did the other two days. So I think I’m doing okay and will start getting and feeling much better soon. I’ve noticed I’ve lost a good bit of weight all over from working at my stupid strenuous job and from being sick… I thought that was interesting. I’m trying to do all home remedies as much as possible to feel better. And just wanted to give y’all a little update on me and why I haven’t been posting as much or whatever if at all or responding or anything like that. As this is my safe place where I can be myself and be open and honest with what’s going on instead of keeping it to myself and leaving y’all who care in the dark. and felt that you all know the real me vs what everyone else sees who knows me irl although if you follow me here and know me irl congrats you know me fully pat yourself on the back. But yeah… idk I just am trying to say: Thank you for reading / caring and supportin me. I haven’t forgotten or ignored any of you and hope to post soon maybe tomrrow (today) :,) thanks for checking in and thanks for understanding me and loving me unconditionally. Im giving you all hugs and sending lots of love for you all 💕💕💕💕💕♥️♥️♥️♥️🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💘💘💘💘💘💝💝💝💝💝💝😻😻😻😻😻😻🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💞💞💞💞💓💓💓💓mwah mwah mwah !! Thank you.

4 notes · View notes

tortoisebore · 1 year

Note

originally reblogged the sibling post but then it made me feel itchy so here i am again

im the youngest of 4!! all of them are my half siblings, but saying "half sibling" is more of a family tree thing than an actual relationship thing. two brothers on my moms side, one sister on my dads. ive only met my sister maybe 5 times, her and my dad have never been on good terms. my middle brother and i are best friends despite the age difference and my oldest brother lives across the country but we try to talk often. youngest children get shit for getting the most attention from their parents, and although i think thats true and i could write a 10 page essay on the shitty ways my parents treated my middle brother compared to me, but there are completely unfair expectations for every child, and i think it isnt right to say that all that attention was always good attention. very fortunate to have a good relationship with my brothers, though, its made a lot of days easier! im the only fire sun of my siblings and my middle brother and i are a menace together since hes a scorpio! love him sm

YES YES YES 100% YES

allllll placements within the family are different and as the oldest sibling it sometimes feels like the younger kids have it easier but they DON’T—their experiences are just different!

like, my oldest-younger sister & i grew up with extremely strict conservative christian parents, but thankfully they’ve turned around a lot in the last couple of years and have become more lenient and progressive. but parenting-wise, it’s like night & day between the two oldest siblings in our family and the two youngest

it looks from the outside like my brother has zero rules—he doesn’t have to do chores, he can be on his computer all day unsupervised without anyone constantly checking his browser history, watch whatever he wants, etc. and the parts of me that are still bitter at how my parents raised me is sometimes like ‘that’s not fair.’

BUT, my brother doesn’t have the same structure that gave me an early sense of responsibility that i cherish now as an adult, he doesn’t have multiple siblings in the house with him to keep him company so he spends a lot of time alone, and the attention he does finally get is often negative for grades, behavior, etc. it’s also hard for him to be the only boy, and come after my sister and i, who were both always on our best behavior, had great grades without trying, and ‘respected’ our parents (really we were just too afraid of punishment to argue back), so my brother gets deemed ‘difficult’ just bc he came after two ‘easy’ daughters. it’s hard for me to watch the way he’s treated and spoken about sometimes because i can recognize his experience now, so i’m always his #1 defender in any situation, even when he might be in the wrong. fighting anyone that comes after him also means punching at my own family sometimes lmaooo but u gotta do what u gotta do

it’s such a huge relief to be close with them despite all of these weird & changing dynamics, i’m so glad that you’re close with your brother! at the end of the day our siblings are the people we spent the most time with and the ones that i feel like we see ourselves the most in, good and bad. like, there are pieces of me in each of my siblings and pieces of each of them in me, and even when it doesn’t always manifest in a positive way, those are the parts of myself i’m most fond of

#u ask tortoise answers #SIBLING THERAPY SESSION #being close w ur brother is a whole other level of sibling love #me & my brother are 10 years apart so that’s a whole other dynamic #he is my sweetest most precious child #like has he punched me in the face? yes #did i punch him back? yes #but did he turn into a sweet & cuddly angel when i got my heart broken and cried to him ab it? and then offer to kill my ex? also yes

2 notes · View notes

cozymochi · 2 years

Text

Im tired

I REALLY REALLY might have to bring back emergency commissions

Although given my day job and increasingly limited time to even work on that sort of thing at all, I imagine that’d be really complicated to pull off. And I’m not even sure if I can do it coupled with the near constant personal issues, I don’t even know if I’m mentally capable to balance it all. But it’s also one of my only options left if I even want to stay afloat to any capacity, let alone be prepared for whatever financial insanity drops in my lap again.

I keep getting trapped in awful circumstances thanks to other peoples decisions.

Ripping the bandage off right away, I don’t even find commission work enjoyable. I just want to be able to create for myself and share that. But there’s no benefit to the latter since I’m not some over-the-top popular personality who could shit anything out and folk go feral over it. And commissions are almost always done when my hands are completely tied. And even then, there’s no guarantee that my work is that desirable. HECK I just shot myself in the foot by admitting I don’t even like doing them. Who on earth wants to work with a person like that??

I haven’t even POSTED anything in a while. I don’t have time to engage in social media anymore as it is despite it, at one point, being the only thing keeping me afloat when I lived at home. Instead, I just return to complain about these issues instead of returning any favor and show gratitude for legitimately kind people and showing my work (should it be made). And even if I did open commissions, I wouldn’t even know the goal to shoot for because SO MUCH keeps changing and happening, and no matter how much i save or prep it’ll be drained in an instant thanks to god knows what.

Be it that jank ass car I have (the previous owner clearly let it fuckin rot), rent, debt and a whole slew of other things no one person with deteriorating mental strain doing full time with hardly minimum wage (including double shifts) can even do. And I already know who will and won’t read this anyway so i

man.

it’s weird knowing how this is… just how it’s gonna be from now on. Whether i do commissions or not that’s just it. Just gonna be in a state of constant emergency mode no matter what it is

#cozy texts #personal/

8 notes · View notes

funnywormz · 1 year

Note

(a day late but) for the fandom asks, 3 for both lister and rimmer?

OMG FUCK YES also don't worry abt being late im always up for ask games they're a lot of fun hehe

putting this one under a readmore bc i have a lot to say lol

i will do lister first and rimmer second!

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

OUGH. i love lister so much. he's my favourite character for sure although rimmer is a close second. he's just such a fun silly guy but with this sad side to him....... i rlly appreciate how he's shown as tough and masculine and yet he's allowed to have hobbies like knitting and cry at romantic movies and care abt his friends without it being mocked. he's not a perfect person but i adore him anyways. very relatable at times as well lol. i also have a massive crush on him i think abt kissing him at least once a day hehehehehe

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

definitely rimmer ofc. maybe ace as well??? kinda??? but since ace is still just another rimmer idk if that even counts lmao. basically it's just rimmer

my favourite non-romantic relationship for this character/favourite friendship for this character (im combining these questions bc they're kinda the same thing?):

ouuuuuh probably his friendship with kryten? i love how he genuinely respects kryten and how kryten is so adoring of him. kryten is kinda like a weird mum to him and it's so so funny and cute they're so silly. it makes me happy whenever they interact, esp when kryten coddles him and is sweet with him despite lister being a grown man lmao.

also it's kinda cheating to use them twice but i love lister and rimmer's friendship in a platonic way as well. they're just always hilarious whenever they're onscreen together and the way they bounce off each other is extremely fun

my unpopular opinion about this character:

idk if this is rlly unpopular but i get a little frustrated by his inconsistent characterisation in the show, esp in s8 compared to other seasons. i get that he does whatever the writers think is funniest but sometimes he does or says something and im like ":( lister wouldn't say that......." even though he is literally saying it in canon lol

also i think he needs more love in the fandom maybe. or more fics abt him getting a hug or something. this dude is depressed and lonely as hell and it makes me so sad can rimmer give him a hug PLEASE

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his relationship with kochanski had gotten a proper resolution/he could move on from her and stop pursuing her romantically....... ive made longer posts abt this before but i just feel like his initial crush on her was just a shallow schoolboy kind of crush and it feels like a disservice to both of them that he's still chasing after her after getting to know her and them clearly not being romantically compatible. like in some episodes they're best friends but then the writing goes back to having lister treat her like an object rather than a person and it irritates me. i wish they could just be friends bc i adore their friendship and when lister interacts with her in a platonic way it's clear that there's such a fun dynamic there but it was utilised so rarely :(

my crossover ship:

ohhhh i don't rlly tend to do crossover ships so this was a hard one....... not rlly a ship more of a friendship but i would love to see him interact with the doctor from dr who lol. ik it's kind of a predictable choice as a crossover bc they're both british sci fi but i think depending on the iteration of the doctor they could either get along rlly well or hate each other and either way it would be very very funny.

i also think it would be fun to do a disco elysium crossover sometime. i would love to know what he'd think of harry and kim, i have a feeling he'd get along rlly well with kim but maybe that's just me

OK NOW I WILL DO RIMSY >:-)

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

ohhh i hate him but i love him so much. an awful person but a great character and unfortunately very relatable sometimes. i want to hug him and hold him so gently but i also want to put him in a hydraulic press. out of all of the rd characters he's probably the one i think about the most unfortunately. you know how it is

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

lister of course! and ig some of the au listers, like the one in the rat universe lol. but really it's just the main lister tbh. i just can't see him with anyone else

my favourite non-romantic relationship/friendship for this character:

sorry but it's lister again lol. like his friendship with lister. their dynamic is just so fun, i think my all time favourite scenes are the ones where they're together....... moonlight and sunlight etc etc etc

my unpopular opinion about this character:

it's a pretty generic opinion but i don't believe that any of his attempts at flirting with women/seeming attracted to women in canon are genuine lol. it always feels very forced and unnatural to me. that man is a deeply closeted and confused gay boy and i can't see him any other way tbh. i think he WANTS to be straight so bad but he is not. not even a little bit

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his character development would stick more! like ik he has to be bitchy for the comedy and that's fine im not saying he has to suddenly be nice or whatever but it's frustrating to see him grow a little bit as a person or overcome one of his insecurities only to go back to being even worse than before in the very next episode........ he is a little more mellow in later seasons than he was in the earlier ones but not by much, and i feel like things like learning abt his real father and going off to be ace and stuff should have had a real visible impact on him instead of just. not changing anything lol

my crossover ship:

once again. not rlly a ship thing but the disco elysium crossover. i just think it would be funny. he would probably try to schmooze up to kim and harry and get in their good books bc he sees them as being in a position of authority but i think he would secretly hate them so bad and it would probably be kinda obvious lmao. i think kim would absolutely despise him

also i want to lock him in a room with spamton deltarune for a few hours and see who goes insane first

#TYSM FOR THESE I HAD SO SO MUCH FUN HEHEHEHEHEHEHE #always love to ramble abt my blorbos #ask game

3 notes · View notes

pigeonrocks · 1 year

Text

okay i need to like. rant about the post campaign in hong kong.

so. its a fun little dlc, the runs are definitely interesting. but that's the only positive thing i have to say about it. i like the writing during the runs and in the beginning. although the ending when

(spoilers for the bonus campaign under the cut. ofc)

the ending when you face off krait is not exactly played well imo. the entire dlcs plot twists aren't done the same way like in the prior games. returns had a better twist imo, although its a tad confusing- but the betrayal twist doesn't hit the same like how the plot twists hit in the main campaign or in any of the other two games in the returns trilogy. like the vauclair twist had me fucked up. but the betrayal by lam or whatever his name was is very flat as a twist. its not like. done extremely well to really not be predicted. you dont see it yeah but if you do a few runs and then go to find krait and then that betrayal happens. its not like. you already dont trust them?? bc they basically gassed you and dug around in your brain. so why do that reveal so quickly?? i feel like closer to the end would've been better bc it builds more of a relationship with him and qui. but it happening early on in the dlc is such an eye roller.

my vice is also the difficulty of the fight before you go and meet the boss. im playing on easy mode and it took me days. i stopped playing for like weeks because i gave up and went to start playing dragonfall. its so weirdly difficult and the final fight with krait isn't anything in comparison. the writing when you confront her aswell just rubs me the wrong way. the entire ending feels so out of character for the characters you bring (i brought racter, duncan & gaichu w me)

like with gaichu for example. both are from the dlc, the lily lai run & meeting krait, but one of them imo feels so much more like gaichu than the latter. and its the run screenshot in this example. it rubs me the wrong way because. i know damn well its gaichu. but it doesn't feel like something gaichu would say. this is a pretty fine example with duncan imo where it kinda? just feels like all the development from the main campaign is tossed aside and it barely makes any sense to me still.

because. again- all of this is my opinion. take this with a grain of salt.

but burning the warehouse is the best option. i dont think mitsuhama should have the weapons that were inside the facility(or anybody. thats wayy too much power. its better off as ash.) so ofc i burned it down but kept qui alive. because. qui will restore duncan's SIN. its so bizarre that this entire dlc has him so focused on carter. i get him being upset but i feel like. theres bigger fish to fry. like. carter doesn't mean anything. hell i forgot about carter. its so weird for Duncan to really only have carter as his motive? i get that they were extremely close but the corrupt police chief who labeled us as terrorists is killing innocent people for no reason. get it the fuck together man come on. what normal life does he want? we dealt with a fucking demon goddess and are marked as fucking terrorists dude. how do you even live a normal life after that?? its been like a week after the main campaign. its so frustrating to me.

like. i completely can understand why hes upset but qui is still fucking alive. she has the power to restore his SIN. i try and pick the options that will land me in the position of a good ending. or the one thats the best in terms of my own morals. killing the feuerschwinge, killing Jessica, burning the facility. makes sense. the feuerschwinge was a great dragon but any other option wasnt a good pick imo. shes suffering so letting the virus do its work, handing her off to apex or just leaving her there is cruel, but releasing her is also strange- considering what she did when she was alive which was reprehensible. i killed dragon. letting jessica live is probably a good option. but shes still behind the end of the world, kidnapping her own niece and Killing her brother. revenge is revenge 🤷 sam wanted me to avenge him and by god did i

but theres no good option in the srhk dlc. yknow? duncan still leaves no matter what you pick. whether thats on good terms or on bad terms depends on what you do. killing qui, burning the facility- or letting her live and handing it over to mitsuhama. or going with duncan to restore your SIN.

maybe its just a me thing. the dlc rubbed me the wrong way with how the characters were written. it just felt?? out of character and weird for the characters to say. i wasn't even sad that duncan left i just got pissed off. at that and the actual ending. where you go back to FUCKING SEATTLE. this shit sucks.

i played the dlc after i beat dragonfall. and in comparison to the main story of hong kong. its very disappointing and underwhelming to me. nor was it fun. ending was pretty lame to me. it didn't do it for me. which is honestly kinda sad. bc i had good expectations after the main campaign and its just. kinda bad. anyways! thanks for reading my long ass rant. not the usual ramble post but i needed to put my thoughts on the srhk dlc somewhere.

#chester rambles #shadowrun hong kong #not tagging characters.#remembered the post campaign dlc and got pissed off again abt it

2 notes · View notes

poliodeuces · 2 years

Note

HELLOOOOO I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR ART it's sooo beautiful and I stare at your work so much!! do you have any art inspirations? like any artists or specific pieces that just. scratch your brain?? hope you're having a good one ^o^

first of all: thank you so much! don't get lost in it now! and secondly: i have put off answering this ask for so long bc i find that question pretty difficult to answer. i love way, way too much art. but still it's an opportunity to showcase some that i love. under the cut :) im sorry if this off from what you're expecting (crying emoji)

these are a small fraction of art that tickle my brain, only visual, sometimes inspiration just springs from a non-fiction like an essay, or in the repetition of furniture music, a strange movie with a story but with no discernible plot (the best kind of movie), when you cook a meal etc etc ....they exist where you least expect it........

i mainly do two art styles that, despite me whining abt inconsistency, are deliberate bc they give different moods, and i dont really care if my art doesnt look the same, esp since im not really interested in the industry where style consistency is part of branding yada yada. it’s more fun this way. i'll start with the inks.

one of my favourite mangaka ever is nishioka kyoudai. they're a brother-sister duo that writes these surreal poem-like stories without a plot. once you see it, it's a Very obvious inspiration. when i first got into hypmic, one of the comments i even made then was gentaro feels like a character from their work which lead to no longer human comic later for inktober www thats why i draw him a lot in the style inspired from their art...

below is the front and back cover of their most popular manga: kami no kodomo (just a warning if anyone checks this out: it's violent and disgusting. dont be like me who read them @ age 12, i was an edgy problem child)

another one of my favourites is taiyo matsumoto. art below is from their manga titled tekkon kinkreet, which has a movie ! and one of their manga got an anime adaptation as well....please watch ping pong the animation it's really good (shameless promo)

theres more, but these two mangaka really got me loving inks and not caring abt my art looking all social media pretty. weird is great!!! i embrace manga that looks unconventional

now for paintings, it's a different world ww most of them are contemporary. i like paintings that depict smth mundane or private. i love tenderness.......i like it when bodies feel like they merge into one, and where the figures' edges become imperceptible unless you look closely. intimism is where it’s at babey!!

(artists in order from left to right: egon schiele; toulouse-lautrec; ron hicks; doron langberg)

but non-representational art is really cool too...

(lindy chambers, julia soboleva, melissa santamaria, mark rothko)

im inspired by whatever this page called "1995 was an ok year" on facebook does. smth i want to get across w my art (although im aware i dont post my personal art here, maybe it happens w my fanart too who knows), when i really really try, is to recall memory that maybe didnt even happen, but the mood is there and it's felt. im terrible at storytelling but im obsessed with atmosphere, i hope it works lol

have a good day too anon !! sorry for the long reply

#ask #i know it wont be reblogged #but still pls dont rb this #thank you!

8 notes · View notes