#im gonna work on formatting i promise

[arkham-ayden]

Part Two of following a prompt list for October! Descendants themed ofc

Part One here!

• Pairing: Mal/Evie/Carlos/Jay as found family

• Prompt: visiting a haunted house

• Word Count: 1736

• Additional Warnings: depiction of a dead body, insects, specifically maggots

“Come on Carlos, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Jay, we really shouldn’t be here. Just looking at it gives me the chills.”

The house in front of them was none other than Hell Hall. Grandiose and ominous, the dark of night made it look even more intimidating. Atop the roof were two gargoyles on either side, snarling mouths carved wide and the stone was eroded in places, caverns in the sides and one of the wings was missing. Carlos shifted in his spot, looking to his friends, Jay had his arms crossed, snarky grin plastered on his face, Mal in a similar stance, though noticeably less confident, and Evie was holding herself together, sharing Carlos’ timid demeanour. Her lips were pinched in a tight line, she’d also protested coming here but Mal had convinced her to come along despite her protests.

Carlos hadn’t been back here in some years, since his mother had passed. He ran away to live with Evie, hearing of his mother’s demise only a few weeks later. Rumour had it that she had died from the madness that followed his absence; she was used to Carlos maintaining the house and herself, when he left, she’d lost what little of her sanity she had left, she’d gone around hurling abuse at other villains and confining herself to one small room, barricading herself in with no food or water, mistakenly believing she was above the human needs, claiming herself a god. He didn’t go to her funeral. He never wanted to see that woman again, never wanted to return to the house that held him hostage for sixteen years of his life. That house stood for everything bad that had happened to him, coming back made all the hairs on his body stand to attention.

Jay had begun pulling at the tarnished silver door knobs, clearly closed tightly.

“We should go back. I have a weird feeling about this.”

The taller boy stopped pulling for a moment to jest back.

“Oh, too scared? Come on dude, you lived here, you can handle one night back.”

“You’re not funny Jay,” Evie shot back, anger laced in her usually soft voice. “This place is creepy enough, let alone on Hallow’s Eve.”

“Isn’t that exactly why we’re here?” Mal questioned. “Move back, tugging at the doors clearly isn’t working for you.”

Jay stepped back, hands raised in mock defence. Mal had pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, fiddling with the locks. Evie rolled her shoulders in an attempt to ease out some of her tension.

“Why don’t we just go to my castle, we can scope out the dungeon. I know the way around it.”

“E, we’ve seen that dungeon enough. Plus, you got your ass handed to you in there, I’m not making you do that.”

Carlos flinched at her words. He never spoke about much of the abuse, but he’d dropped details here and there. Clearly no one had paid attention to him. That fact hurt him more than expected, he had half a mind to leave alone, let them have their own fun. For some reason though, he stayed. He half wanted to show them around, show them the closets he was locked in for half of his life, show them the traps he had to step around for fear of his life, show them the weapons he’d become friends with. Maybe they’d finally take him seriously.

After a few moments, Mal had got the doors unlocked. They swung open with a loud creak, hinges barely holding the heavy blocks of wood up.

“We’re in. Let’s go.”

No sooner as the words left the girl, Jay ran in, staring around at the main hall, tall ceilings and blank walls with a decaying staircase in the middle as the centrepiece. Carlos felt his blood run cold as he spotted one of the closets he’d be thrown in.

“Where was her room? Hey, Carlos, are you listening?”

“Upstairs, third door on the left hallway.” He replied, almost on autopilot.

Evie was the first to notice his discomfort, offering a weak rub on his arm, unsure how else to help. He rested his head on the arm, taking a deep breath, lungs suddenly feeling like he couldn’t take in enough air. All four of them walked the staircase, Jay leading the charge. Suddenly it crossed Carlos’s mind, had anyone removed Cruella’s body? He felt the blood run out of his face and his hands felt numb. A loud bang resonated in the hall, doors had been slammed shut. There was no breeze and none of them were close enough to have done it. Footsteps came from in front of them, the clacking sounds of heels hitting the tiles were too familiar to Carlos. His mother would never go without them. Jay whipped around, questioning the two girls if they’d done it to mess with him, to which they denied.

“It’s not them. It’s my mom.”

“How the hell do you remember what her footsteps sounded like?”

“I had to! If I heard her in time, I could hide from her.”

His eyes rolled and Carlos felt fire in his cheeks, a sudden surge of anger ran through him.

“What? You’re telling me you never had to hide from your dad? You never ran away to avoid him flogging you?”

“Not cool, man.”

“Whatever.”

Carlos forced himself to the front of the group, walking to his mother’s old room. His fingers lingered from turning it open. He was scared to look in there, praying someone had taken her body and buried her somewhere. There was a funeral, she had to be six feet under, there was no way she’d still be here. A menacing laugh echoed in his mind, judging by the tentative looks on the others’ faces, it echoed in the corridor too. He took a breath, and opened into the room. Immediately, a pungent smell of death violated Carlos’ senses. He retched, covering his nose with both hands to try and staunch the smell. Everyone followed, covering their mouths and noses. The laugh was louder now, the breaths in between sounded high and strained, like someone clinging to the last tendrils of life. When Carlos regained his composure, he looked back at Jay.

“Still want to check it out?”

The boy didn’t speak, eyes wide and unblinking. Evie had thrown up, Mal tending to her. If no one else was going in first, Carlos would. He stepped further into the room, the smell becoming more pronounced and pungent. He covered his nose with his t-shirt as he continued in.

“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point, we can go.”

“No. You wanted a haunted house, I’ll show you a haunted house.”

His voice was slightly muffled under the shirt but Jay had heard it loud and clear judging from the tight line of his lips and harsh angle of his shoulders.

The bed looked made, as if done that morning. The side table he could see was caked in a thick layer of dust, in similar fashion were the trinkets Cruella had collected over her years, all in her red, black and white colour scheme. Nothing looked out of place by any means, the pillows and cushions were fluffed, the curtains were drawn and he could see the boards lining the empty window frame. He rounded the corner of the bed and fought to not vomit himself. His eyes darted, hardly believing the sight. But there was a funeral, there was a coffin, this couldn’t possibly be right. Jay had entered the room, guarding his own nose.

“You don’t have to do this, I’m sorry, you were ri-” He cut himself off.

The girls had entered to see what the commotion was about, Evie let out a squeal that almost turned into a scream, Mal turning away with a fist to her mouth. The laughter was unending as they stared, unending and only becoming more unhinged.

It was a skeleton. He could almost convince himself it was fake if there wasn’t residual black and white hairs scattered on the floor, he could convince himself it was fake if there weren’t clinging patches of decayed flesh on the bones, he could convince himself it was fake if there weren’t swathes of maggots wriggling around on the floor and burrowed into the tiny flesh patches. It wasn’t fake.

Carlos collapsed to his knees, unable to worry about the writhing white masses only a foot away from him.

“There, there was a funeral, I don’t, I don’t, t-there was a coffin. She, she’s supposed to be, this isn’t-”

“Carlos, Carlos, get up,” Jay was pulling at his arms but it was like he was rooted to the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, we can go. Let’s go.”

He sat there, panting heavily. He’d wanted her dead, he’d wanted her dead for years. With her laugh in his head and her corpse right in front of him, he realised he never wanted it like this. He felt more arms grab at him, Evie and Mal but he felt a third, icy cold pair wrap around his waist, beckoning him to stay. With some effort, the three got him to stand, tugging at his jacket to pull him out of the room. Only when he was out could he stop staring at the yellow-white bones and the chilling laughter stopped. None of them spoke until they were out of the house again.

“Do, do you want to talk about it?” Evie finally spoke up.

“No, no I don’t.”

There was an awkward silence for what felt like agonising minutes.

“Can we go home now?”

“Yeah,” Mal chimed in. “We’re never coming back here. You’re never coming back here.”

“Okay.” His voice was barely audible, and he felt something hot run down his cheek. He reached up to brush away whatever had grazed him, but it was wet. He had been crying.

“I’m so sorry ‘Los.”

He didn’t answer.

The image of that night, he knew, would be burned into his mind. He closed his eyes to try and ignore the thoughts. The image was etched into the back of his eyelids, a photo of perturbation.

Carlos knew he was in for a restless night, only seeing her skeleton slung across the floor and further defiled by maggots. At least she was gone.

Then, the laughing started again.

#carlos descendants #mal descendants #evie descendants #jay descendants #ao3 fanfic #descendants #i went darker #i can never go back #this was really fun to write #im gonna work on formatting i promise #im trying #i havent formatted properly on tumblr ever and im trying to wing it #how do links work #i hope i did this right #help #anyway i hope you like it #im planning to make longer works #seadogs has taken a small backseat #ill get to it eventually

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[dispotatorulzz]

I don't post wips enough anymore here's something of Viv and Vex, deciding if I want to put thier pony clothes on them or not . I feel like the coats look wacky in this one and I mean. What's a little bit of unsafe practices in the office (not like they gaf /lh)

Also I love seeing the comparisons between my original first sketch to get the idea down and my second "ok time to try and make this make sense" I draw faces alot better quickly than I do bodies and thats interesting to see I think !

#im also going to try and. start working on my own actual vampire designs for them #no promises tho lmao #ArtWips #i fucked up that hospital bed tho dont look at it #im gonna use the first sketch to try and fix it like the movement for it there more #does it take anyone else 20 minutes of mulling over a post before actually hitting post #my next few art posts are scheduled but i sat there for an hour mulling over the formatting #spacing out art posts being the best thing for me to do is the worst thing to ever happen to me i wanna post it all rn >:( #i have had queen and laz ponies done for almost a week and just got some armoured pheasant done that wont go up for like five days #<- if im patient i might post them alot sooner #DAMN. yap o clock congratulations if you read all this lmao

[stxneflxwers]

unpalatable.

⋯⁂ summary. suffering with disordered eating, you try your best to brush it off as being picky (as many others in your life have done before.) but, your beloved doesn't think it's mere pickiness anymore.

⋯⁂ a/n. short and sweet post here; so im not really worried about small grammar errors, word count, formatting, or what have you. i just need to get this icky feeling off my mind, ok? for the record as well: i'm writing all of this on tumblr post editor and not in gdocs like i normally do. so there's gonna be things lacking compared to my normal, "formal" works.

⋯⁂ characters. neuvillette. zhongli. wriothesley. gn reader.

⋯⁂ cw. reader has disordered eating (this is different from eating disorders, pls read further about it online if you want/must!) reader has poor self-esteem. characters being very very sweet. fluff. might be some hurt/comfort and panic. reader's weight is NOT described. there might be occasional OOC moments, but i tried my best to avoid it lol.

neuvillette.

he doesn't think anything of it at first. he understands the life of being..."picky" as some so rudely put it. he prefers his foods very moisturized, any dryness can be too much for his senses at times (most of the time.) the texture when it comes to something dry or even spicy can be very unpleasant; he swears if he ate sandpaper, that's what it'd taste and feel like.

when he starts noticing the worse..."quirks" about your eating habits, he's not sure how to word his concerns to you. he gets around to it and he can only hope he isn't too horribly late about it. he isn't, but he feels like he's late to saying something anyway.

once you both talk it over, he's already helping out. even if he's not quite sure exactly what he's doing. he's the type to fill your head and heart with sweet reassurances and even sweeter praises for doing your best, his smiles are the sweetest treat of all when he tells you these things, though.

even if he's stiff or awkward about the subject and tackling the problem at the root, he's as supportive as he can be. although, don't mistake this support as letting you get away without eating for long periods of time. he can and will pester you frequently about whether you've properly ate (and hydrated) recently. do your best to not damage his lover, alright?

zhongli.

believe it or not, he entirely gets the feeling of uneasiness and the occasional nausea behind a lot of dishes. fish is his worst enemy, for starters. his species doesn't really require tons of food to live off of, unlike your average human. so, when he first started "indulging" in more human dishes, he soon discovered what a gag reflex was. he won't admit to it, but he really hated it back then.

of course, that was so many centuries ago. he's adjusted fine enough to more dishes these days. and when you tell him about your struggles with eating, you initially write it off as you being childish.

he thinks not.

he doesn't let you get away with calling yourself childish—or any sort of derogatory statement that spits out of your mouth.

his hand slides up to yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. and a promise that he'll do his absolute best to help you conquer these problems with food and eating. even when you start to branch out and eat a bit more than you usually do, he feels so proud of you.

he gives you a shining smile, a peck to the forehead, and holds your sweet, cute face with his big hands; while also filling your mind with praises and affirmations about how well you're doing so far. he loves you so dearly, don't push him away.

wriothesley.

you try your absolute best to hide it from him, the man who is maybe the least bothered by most foods. at least, the one man from fontaine, that is. he really doesn't care too much about what he's eating, as long as it's edible. call it a habit from being an orphan. of course, he has his preferences, but who doesn't?

so, when he catches you eating less or being a little too selective (he's observant enough, don't test him), he brings it up right away in private—he makes sure it's with only you two in the room. he'll ask if you're feeling sick or anything lately, promising you that sigewinne can help out.

when you skirt around the subject, he pouts just a little. it's enough to get you to break down in front of him. you call yourself some nasty things over being rather selective about food, feeling incompetent and weird compared to him.

and he really can't believe what he's hearing at first.

his icy eyes go wide and he blinks on repeat like a broken record. he's still registering what you just said about yourself—his darling cutie. he smiles bittersweetly and shakes his head, it's the most he can muster at first. he's still in disbelief.

your heart sinks into the depths of your gut at the response, burning alive and leaving behind literal heartburn in your throat. before you can leave the room, he scurries up behind you and wraps his arms around you, imprisoning you in the softest way.

he tells you he'll help out if you want it and allow him to, mentioning that he hates to see you suffer. he gives you a loving but tight squeeze (one that's perhaps a little suffocating.) he promises to you to help you suffer, at least, less than before.

he loves you too much to see you in any type of pain, external or internal.

you're a prisoner of your own mind while also a cruel warden to yourself. and if it's the last thing he'll ever do, he swears he'll change at least that much.

#🌠— my works #🌠— fluff #🌠— hurt/comfort #💕— multi #zhongli x reader #💕— zhongli #genshin x reader #💕— neuvillette #neuvillette x reader #💕— wriothesley #wriothesley x reader

[bartxnhood]

complete mess | a.f.i

ashton irwin x reader

summary: based on this request

warnings: mentions of bad relationships, alcohol, some language.

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you stood alone, abandoned at the bar. lucas, your boyfriend, was nowhere to be seen. on the verge of tears, you began to feel very frustrated with his actions.

sure, you expected this from him, but on your birthday? did he not care about you at all? you looked over the sea of people, dancing, talking, drinking, and eating in an attempt to find your boyfriend but, nothing. your eyes landed on ashton, he saw the sadness in your eyes and knew.

this sadness has been lurking in your eyes for months now. no matter how badly you tried to hide it and put on a facade, ashton saw right through it.

you had become so insecure because of lucas, and ashton was tired of it. you deserved someone worth your time, you deserved someone who would look at you like you were the only thing good in this world. you deserved someone to treat you like you were the most delicate person on the face of the earth.

you deserved someone better.

he wished you wanted him.

to ashton, you were the best thing in his life. you had such a beautiful smile, the way you lit up as if he had done something stupid and you couldn’t help but laugh. you were the brightest star in the night sky. you made ashton a better person. and to see lucas belittle you, seeing you lose the light in your eyes, watching you slowly creep into a shell of made him angry. this wasn’t supposed to happen to you. not his y/n. not ashton best girl.

pushing past the crowd of people, peter was determined to be by your side. “y/n.” ashton emerged,. “ash” you sighed, feeling weight being lifted from your shoulders. “he left me.” you finally blurted, you felt a pang in your chest knowing tears would soon follow. ashton wrapped his arms around you, letting your head rest on his chest. “i know” he sighed, rubbing your back gingerly. “ash, your shirt” you huffed, looking up at him. afraid of ruining it with your makeup. “shh it’s fine” he shook his head, wiping away your tears with his callused thumb. he held you for a minute, but it felt like forever to you. “cmon, im taking you home.” he suggested, pulling away and reaching for your hand. “you don’t need to be here.” you nodded, following behind him and out the large doors.

exiting the building, ashton’s touch never left the small of your back. “he had no right to do that to you, y/n/n” he huffed. you knew he was upset, and so were you. thinking you could get over your feelings for ashton but you only got hurt in return.

oh, foolish heart.

you had been swooning after ashton since high school. always liked him from a distance, even if the two of you were the best of friends.

you weren’t good with confrontation, let alone rejection. because what if he rejected you? how could the two of you possibly stay friends after something like that?

but when you had got with lucas just a few years out of high school, ashton was the first to tell you his feelings.

even if it was a little too late.

“i can’t believe he would be that stupid to leave you alone. if i see him, i’m gonna-“ you were quick to grab his hand, cutting him off. “ash. don’t. just relax.”

ashton had accepted that lucas was your boyfriend but he’d still do everything he could to be in your life, as long as you were happy, he was happy. but seeing you so broken, and being used. he couldn’t let it continue.

“promise me something, y/n?” your eyes met with his. both of you stopping in your tracks. “end it with him. you don’t need someone like that in your life.”

“i will.”

ashton had suggested he take you back to his place, to avoid seeing lucas when he came back later that evening.

you sat on the edge of ashtons bed, still in your dress while ashton had gotten you some water and advil to help with your growing headache. your eyes stared out the window, the night illuminated by only the stars. “i brought you some extra clothes, in case you wanted to change.” he entered the room, some folded clothes in hand, and laid them next to you. your eyes followed him, “thank you.” he nodded, “it’s no problem” he shot you a sympathetic smile and handed you the medicine and bottle.

“you’re always saving me, ash. thank you” you sniffled as you took the two painkillers and downed them with a swig of water.

ashton only hummed, watching you take the clothes in hand and making your way to the bathroom.

and when you returned, ashton had changed as well. you tossed the blaxl dress on the floor and went back to ashton’s bed.

“feel better?” he looked up at you, only getting a shrug from you. “can you help me take my hair down? there’s a lot of pins” he patted the spot in front of him which you scooted over and he proceeded to pick the pins out of your hair. “you know” ashton started, “lucas has no idea what he’s missing out on.” you simply shrugged, you couldn’t stomach talking about him again.

“i don’t know what i was thinking, i thought i could get my mind off someone else, but i only got hurt worse. i’m so stupid” a dry laugh escapes your lips. ashton paused, now knowing why you had started dating lucas. but his shoulders dropped knowing you probably liked someone else. “stop. stop blaming yourself.” he hummed.

his scratchy voice sending chills down your spine. you only let your shoulders drop. looking down at your hands. soon enough he had gotten a majority of the pins out. and with that, you finally let your hair down letting up the stress on the scalp.

ashton got a whiff of the scent of your shampoo and he couldn’t help but look away. you still haven’t changed it all these years. that familiar floral smell filled his nostrils. it was still the same kind you used in high school, he wishes he could smell forever.

it was obvious you liked someone else. you discarded the hairpins, and sat next to ashton again. “if it wasn’t for you, i’d be so lost. i’m so glad you came into my life” you smiled sadly, and he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “you’ll always have me in your corner. id do anything for you, you know that.” you nodded. you did know, hell, if you didn’t have him you’d still be miserable. he was always there for you. no matter what.

you were now curled up on ashtons chest, your eyes still glued to the window. not saying anything, you thought he had fallen asleep by now. but when you looked up at him, he was looking down at you. “i thought you were asleep.” he laughed, a simple shake of his head. you smiled, the dim light of his lamp made his skin look so beautiful, the way his hair lay in his eyes, and how he looked at you. you could stare at him for ages.

you felt your heart beating, feeling as if it would beat out of your chest. you wondered if this was the moment you’d tell ashton how you felt for the past decade.

“what’s on your mind?” he asks softly, you hum. thinking if this was the right moment and if the words that were about to spill from your lips were a good idea. your eyes flicked from his hazel eyes to your fingers, picking at your cuticles.

“do you remember a while back when you confessed to me and i had just gotten with lucas?” you ask. when you look up you see him studying you. he nods slowly, “yeah?”.

you puff your cheeks then release the air, sighing. “i liked you too at the time, and i still..well..i love you. i was with lucas simply because i thought you didn’t like me like that..” you groaned quietly, realizing how stupid it sounded.

you saw his face contort, trying to process your words. you can’t seem to read his expression. he falls silent for a moment, replaying his confession over and over again. it was all making sense.

“ash?” you say, hoping he wouldn’t be so upset with you. “i wish you would’ve told me sooner..” he says, followed by a sigh. you frown, assuming you have missed your opportunity with your best friend.

“but..” he continued, “i still love you, y/n. i have since we were teenagers. i don’t think id ever be able to get over you. you have me wrapped around your finger and i’d do anything for you.”

you feel your heart racing, your cheeks flushed pink, and you feel like you were back in high school.

“ashton, will you kiss me?”

the brown-haired boy stared at you, hazel eyes wide. his lips parted, “did you just ask if i’d-“ “kiss me” you interrupted him. this time begging him. “please” you whispered. ashton sat up, his eyes not leaving yours once as he brought his hand to your cheek and then pressed his lips on yours ever so lightly. afraid he would hurt you in any way. his lips felt so soft against yours. pure bliss engulfed your body. this was what you imagined your kiss with ashton to be like. when he pulled away, eyes meeting with yours his cheeks were flushed. having such a huge crush on you, he never thought he would have this moment with you.

your hands on his neck, you leaned in again connecting your lips. this time this kiss was longer and more intimate. your hands tangled in his brown curls while he was resting on your lower back, occasionally pulling you in. when you pulled away, catching your breath you couldn’t help but stare at him. his hand ran over your waist, playing with the hem of your shirt as the two of you watched the other, breathing each other in. ashton’s smiles, his calloused thumb tracing your cheekbone. “you make me complete, y/n.”

maybe this birthday wasn’t so bad after all.

#ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin #ashton irwin angst #ashton 5sos #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin x y/n #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin imagine #5sos fan fiction #5sos fanfic #5sos fan fic #5sos imagine #5sos smut #5sos

[elleloquently]

lmk if this is dumb or if you arent taking requests rn but i just dyed my hair (myself) for the millionth time and i was thinking... college!ellie... helping reader dye their hair.... you get what im saying?/!?:))-&2):$2)/

LOVE INVISIBLE STRING BTW

-🪩

| a/n : what color did you do?!? sorry this took a bit to get done, i did a headcanon type format bc i felt that would work best so i hope that's okay!! <3 thank you for requesting!!

college!ellie helps dye your hair :

maybe deciding to dye your hair in the middle of the night wasn't the best idea, but after debating the idea for weeks, you finally felt inspired enough to do so and decided to jump on your sudden burst of motivation, finally taking the plunge.

it was the same back and forth for weeks. you were going to leave your hair alone, until you happened upon a gorgeous color you absolutely had to have. soon enough you had purchased the dye and the color was in your hands, but you had changed your mind. you did this often, examining the package in your hands, admiring the color and swearing you would finally dye it in the morning, but the only event that came with a new day was a change of heart.

finally, feeling fed up with homework but not tired enough to call it a night, you turned the package containing the dye over in your hands. you contemplated it, thoughtfully, before mumbling out loud.

"i think i'm gonna do it now, ells."

ellie, who was laying on her stomach with her feet in the air, wordlessly peeked at you from over the top of her astronomy textbook.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

-you wouldn't agree on whose idea it actually was. ellie would side that you begged, pleaded, even bribed her to help out with your hair project. you would disagree, claiming that ellie pushed to help with promises of 'it'll be fun!'

-regardless, you ended up in the bathroom, suddenly feeling uncertain as yourself and ellie stared at each other in the mirror. you had a towel wrapped around your shoulders, a lazy attempt at covering the old tee shirt you were wearing. you dug it out of your closet purposefully for this, not caring if any hair dye stained the worn cotton fabric.

-you were feeling excited, eager even, especially since ellie was going to help. that feeling was quickly replaced with doubt at the way ellie mischievously laughed while snapping plastic gloves onto her hands, flexing her fingers under the clinging material. you giggled nervously nonetheless, forcing ellie to read through the instructions once and then a second time to make sure she had really read them.

-the event would prompt a lot of laughter, and definitely a lot of light-hearted bickering. you would insist that ellie pays attention to what she's doing, it's your head for god sake, and she would argue that you need to stay still and let her focus.

-"ellieeeuugghhh"

-despite the banter or the moments of brief silence, it was practically an excuse to simply enjoy ellie's touch. she was gentle, even when she was being ridiculous on purpose, and the way she would examine each strand of hair, squinting and furrowing her eyebrows to make sure the color was evenly distributed, was adorable.

-it was simply because it was you, and ellie wanted to be careful with you and also wanted you to be proud that she had helped and even did a good job.

-you would let your eyes close momentarily, sighing in contentment when ellie spoke, quietly announcing her approval by saying, "this is going to look so good."

-it was nearly so peaceful, so perfect, until you had to remind ellie to make sure she was putting enough dye on the top and not just on the ends, and until she started grumbling about how the gloves were making her feel clumsy.

-"just be careful please ellie, i have class tomorrow," you laughed, imagining how terrible it would be to walk around with stains on your skin, matching the new color of your hair.

-only you didn't have to imagine.

-a few reminders here and there, (some gentle, some not) and ellie's responses of 'i know, don't worry,' came to a halt in an instant.

-it was a small moment, a teeny tiny slip up. you had gotten caught up with talking, and poor ellie really tried to work around your wiggles while you had been talking, and she even attempted to scold you about moving around so much, which you should've taken seriously.

-ellie needed a better view of the top of your hair, and you kept looking up at her while you were speaking. to hold you still, out of habit, ellie placed a gentle hand across your face, fingers spread over your chin and cheeks.

-upon the touch you immediately both froze. your mouth snapped shut and ellie's dropped open, registering what she had done. she slowly pulled the sticky glove away from your face, afraid to reveal what was underneath and you squeezed your eyes shut.

-"please tell me it's not bad please tell me it's not bad plea... ellie? why aren't you saying anything? is it bad? oh my god ellie is it-"

-okay, it wasn't that bad, but you definitely had some stains on your face.

-ellie thought you might react poorly but you howled with laughter, even surprised by your own reaction.

-ellie got a little bit grumpy though and ripped the gloves off of her hands and dumped them into the trash, insisting she could work more accurately without them. honestly she just felt bad but kept cracking a smile about it anyway.

-"ellie," you frowned, "i don't think that's good for your skin," you said in protest.

-ellie raised an eyebrow at you, practically referencing her mistake that was stained onto your face. "i'll be fine," she muttered. "it could be worse."

-hair color anew and mess cleaned, you admired your new hair in the mirror while ellie grinned proudly over your shoulder. you thanked her endlessly for helping, and she insisted it wasn't a big deal but honestly felt proud that you even trusted her in the first place to have her help out.

-you had the evidence to show for your evening together, the splotched stains around your face matched the dye stains covering ellie's fingers, which you both could not stop laughing about the next day.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams college au #ellie tlou x female reader

[sugar-omi]

okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!

what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))

mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.

this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.

ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time

(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)

okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH

(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)

ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3

n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333

tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3

but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you

will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change

if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...

I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love

you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before

which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.

once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it

now if you get married...

I imagine cove won't propose at all

like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...

in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween

but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him

he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.

and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.

first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory

but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:

"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"

and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."

also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.

!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea

okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever

that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth

(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)

or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.

now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child

another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it

even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.

I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them

and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."

of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.

you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.

"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...

but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.

I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...

anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.

well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,

baxter."

pa."

cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.

if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.

ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course

I also think cove is very scared abt being a father

especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.

he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter

baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father

cries if they call him dad btw

if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..

cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear

either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"

n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him

if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course

but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)

well... actually no he does

hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder

adopts them like immediately basically

I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)

n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))

imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two

and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..

and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time

(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)

"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes

the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.

you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."

also!! smth I just thought of...

imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid

like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL

(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #baxter ward #baxter ward x reader #angst #baxter ward angst #cove holden angst #angst with a happy ending

[woojungz]

gamer bf yujun! 🎮🫧

❝ yujun x gn!reader

𓂃𓈒 something i thought of after watching yujun's daily_x vlog! word count: around 600(◜⁠‿⁠◝)♡ im also trying out the bullet list format in this one !

( likes and reblogs appreciated!♡ )

a thing i didn’t expect from yujun is for him to be a league player like…😭 anyway, i wonder if he also plays other fps games like valorant or whatever. and the biggest question is which character does he main?!

he also mentioned playing terraria and other ps5 games with jinsik

let’s say this whole situation started when you guys have that one hangout together as a couple where the both of you just do your own thing. maybe yujun invited you to his room, you’re just chilling on his bed while he tells you he’s gonna play some pc games.

at first it was completely peaceful, save for a few typing sounds of his keyboard and mouse clicking. your soul almost left your body when the silence was shattered by his sudden scream, snapping your head towards the back of his chair.

and when you go and approach him, he just gives you that cute eye smile of his.

“y/n! i just got a double kill!”

he really just dramatically startled you for that. when he saw you sigh before leaving him alone, he asks you if you wanna try playing together.

“you’ll get it if you try playing this game i promise!”

and that’s how he ended up convincing you to buy your own pc. you also have him to thank for the mess of pc parts scattered all over the floor. yujun wanted it to be a cute couple activity so he asked if you could build your pc together. you agreed, trusting that he knows how all this stuff works.

well, he never actually said he knows how… so he sheepishly smiles at you and rubs his neck shyly. he should be thankful he’s cute or you would’ve tackled him already. oh, and it absolutely did not help that yujun is probably the clumsiest person you know.

when you finally feel like building the pc is in smooth sailing, some random part you need would go missing. just to find out that yujun accidentally sat on it. it was far more stressful than it should be, but yujun was trying his best to cheer you up and remind you of all the games you could play with him once you guys get the thing done.

finally you get the thing built in a day, almost thinking you’re never gonna finish it with him around.

the first time you played fps games with him was such an experience. he lives for the way you panic sometimes that you just freeze on your position and ask him for help, yujun standing behind you as he comes closer and moves your mouse and keyboard by himself. you feel like you’re probably ruining his gaming sessions because everytime you come along, he loses more than he wins matches.

but he doesn’t care about victories in his games rn!! what he really enjoys is the time he’d spent with you, and he tells you he loves gaming more than ever because you’re playing with him!

sometimes the other members would tag along too when you guys play

oh, after school gaming sessions at pc cafes are becoming a frequent thing in your relationship!

and it’s also really really cute to witness yujun being all giggly and excited when starting a game, but then halfway through he’d get serious, brows knitted together and all. such an intense expression on his face, but would startle you sometimes when he cheers after getting a kill or whatever

if you're into chill games, he'd also have fun playing it with you! whether it be stardew valley, animal crossing, or minecraft.

accidentally lets a creeper into your minecraft base

he'd offer to rebuild your base for you but you stop him when you see the huge gap between the taste you have for your minecraft builds. you guys just have contrasting aesthetics when you build your minecraft base.

like you'd be making a cute house on the side while yujun builds his own with diamond blocks.

anyway!! i’d give gamer bf yujun a 10 outta 10, the cutest :(

#xikers x reader #yujun x reader #xikers yujun #xikers imagine

[heknowshisherbs]

alright, yes, i confess, i'm actually in love with dewey finn (NO!) yes indeed

pairing: musical!dewey finn x reader warnings: drinking (and getting sick after), cursing word count: 3,070 author's note: hey y'all! this was the first fic i posted on the og heknowshisherbs, so it only felt fitting that it's the first fic i post on the new blog. i'm getting back into the swing of things so please forgive me if the formatting on my first few posts is a little fucked. i hope you enjoy!

Y/N: bRIIANNAN briainanan RBIANNA gota teelll u sooemthing Dewey: ? Y/N: brianana in eeed you to ansnwer EM noW Dewey: …U do know ur texting Dewey right? Y/N: hOWEDYOKNOW THAT whaxts im mltkaing abouyt Dewey: Y/N I have no idea what ur saying Y/N: nreedsu oyu toknow that il ove dwey som mocuh. i wanna kissihis satupid faccw Dewey: Are you drunk? Y/N: onnlyly if oyuwo wants me roi 33343333333333…….;;.;.d.d' Dewey: I’m coming to get you.

    That string of texts was the reason Dewey Finn found himself in his car, on his way to a dive bar, at 03:47. Y/N had tried to get him to come that night with her and her friend, Stella, but he told her he was working on music which was half true. He did need to write some songs for the kids, but he mostly tried to avoid the bar because he didn’t want to be there when she inevitably went home with another random guy. As long as she was safe he was happy but it made him incredibly jealous and he didn’t feel like stewing at the bar all night, so he said he wouldn’t go. He hadn’t heard from Y/N at all up until he got those texts; he didn’t need to see her to know that this was probably the drunkest she’s ever been. She was always kind of a lightweight and even at her drunkest she was (for the most part) aware of her surroundings, but these texts made absolutely no sense. He was afraid someone would pick her up and just leave with her because she wouldn’t be able to defend herself or even say no.

    When he pulled up to the Roadhouse it was still pretty packed, which wasn’t all that shocking for a Friday night. He arrived at the nick of time— someone was leaving. He immediately took their spot which, luckily, was right next to the door. He ran inside and started searching for Y/N, praying she was still there.

    Calling out “Y/N!” elicited no response, but once Dewey finally found her it became clear that he got no response because she most likely didn't even know her own name. She was flopping around the bar, babbling nonsense to random people. Some humored her for a bit, while others ignored her; Dewey was just glad nobody had tried to take her home.

    He gently reached out for her hand, and she almost toppled over after attempting to turn around. Y/N collapsed into his arms and looked up at him with a crooked smile, “Plleased to meeetcha!” Even blackout drunk, he thought she looked radiant.

    “Come on, Y/N, we’re going home, okay?” He tries to lead her towards the door, but she messily snatched her hand away.

    “‘M nOT going home with a sTRANGER!”

    People started glancing over at him, and he began to panic; the last thing he needed was to get arrested while on his obligatory best friend wellness check, “Hey, hey, hey! It’s me okay, it’s Dewey.” Her face remained blank, she knew nothing but booze. “Dewdrop? Y/N, I promise I’m not kidnapping you, I’m just gonna put you to bed."

    The word ‘bed’ seemed to help Y/N register what was happening, and she threw her arms up in triumph. “M geTIN LAID!” she cheered, which earned her confused looks from anyone within a seven foot radius. Maybe she didn’t register what was happening after all. Either way, it was enough to make her go with him willingly.

    If anyone else had been working that night there is no way in hell Dewey would’ve been able to leave with her in that state, but their favorite bartender, Kara, was on and she knew that the pair were best buds. Dewey locked eyes with her to confirm that he was taking Y/N home. Kara just shook her head, shouted “good luck!” over the bar, and turned back to the customer she’d been talking to.

    Dewey helped Y/N throw an arm around him so they could walk to his car, but they only made it about twenty feet before it became painfully clear that she couldn’t make it that far. He scooped her up and walked outside; she, all the while, was babbling about something Dewey couldn’t decipher. Her speech was so slurred at this point he wasn’t even sure there were actual words coming out of her mouth.

    He gently laid her in the backseat and buckled her in as best he could. She’d started nodding off at this point, which was probably for the best. It worried him slightly because he wouldn’t be able to check if she was breathing for the whole ride home, but he laid her on her side and hoped that would be enough.

    It was only a short ride to his apartment and, in that time, all he could do was pray she didn’t vomit until they made it inside. He lived on the third floor and knew there was no way in hell Y/N was making it up the stairs, even with help, so he had no choice but to carry her again. It was difficult to maneuver the narrow hallway and, while she didn’t feel all that heavy to him, he’d definitely gotten his workout for the next month out of the way.

    He stumbled through the door, almost dropping Y/N in the process. He quickly got her upright, and before either of them had time to register what was happening, she’d vomited all over her dress and the floor.

    Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Dewey really wanted to keep her in her clothes; they were best friends and she’d seen him in his underwear loads of times but this was different. Dewey gently sat her down on the ground before running into his room to rummage through his drawers and find a pair of pajama pants and an old shirt.

    When he made it back to the kitchen, Y/N was passed out on the floor, and she’d thrown up again from the looks of it. He closed his eyes, let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and made his way over to her. Once he was sure she was still breathing, he tried to slip the dress off as gently as possible. It wasn’t too difficult to do, and once it was entirely off he was grateful she chose to wear that leather dress that always made his heart stop; as disgusting as it sounded, her vomit wasn’t able to seep through the fabric so her bra and panties remained clean. He felt much better about helping her change now, and it was only a matter of time before she donned Dewey’s slightly too big clothes.

    He cleaned the mess, ran over her face with a wet rag to get any remaining vomit off, and sat on the floor with her for a moment to gather his thoughts. She looked so peaceful. He ran a hand through her hair and smiled to himself. 

    Dewey had loved her for a while, and he’d always wanted to tell her how he felt, but things just weren’t that simple. What they had going was good, he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way. He’d resorted to pining from afar and supporting her romantic endeavors endlessly, no matter how much it hurt.

    “Nngh…” she mumbled a bit in her sleep, before her eyes slowly opened. “Don’t feel good. Doooooo not.”

    “Are you gonna be sick again?”

    “Mmmmm…. I dunno.”

    'I dunno' was not a good enough answer for Dewey to consciously let her sleep in his bed. Even with a bucket next to her, there was no guarantee her aim would be spot on, and he didn’t want to take the chance. Cleaning your best friend's vomit off tile flooring was one thing, but cleaning a vomit soaked carpet was another thing; even Dewey Finn has limits.

    He helped lead her to the bathroom and sat her next to the toilet, silently thanking whatever deity had given him the motivation to clean his bathroom that afternoon. Upon sitting down again, she immediately vomited, and all Dewey could do was sit behind her, hold her hair, and wish he could make her feel better.

    After about an hour she’d finally stopped being sick, and an hour after that it was almost 08:00 and he could feel drowsiness overtaking him. She’d been asleep on his chest for quite some time and he hated moving her because he knew he’d never get this opportunity again. He bunched up a clean towel and put it on the floor for her to use as a pillow before leaving the bathroom. In an ideal world, he would’ve stayed with her but his bathroom room was far too small for that.

    Then again, in an ideal world they’d be together.

    He laid in bed for about ten minutes before he decided he’d feel better if he was closer to her in case she needed anything. He took a pillow and blanket, and laid himself down on the floor right outside the bathroom door and let the sound of Y/N's soft snoring lull him to sleep.

…

    When Y/N woke up, her eyes were practically glued together with a layer of crust and makeup from the night before. Her head was pounding, and the first thing she did once her eyes were fully open is stick her head right back in the toilet and vomit. Once she's convinced there’s nothing more to puke up she disregarded any logic or sense of cleanliness and pressed her head against the cool toilet seat. It’s only then that the fog clears— just slightly, but enough for her to register where she is. She recognized the unusual, mismatched tiling on the floor to be Dewey’s, but had absolutely no idea how she ended up on the floor of his bathroom. He wasn’t even at the Roadhouse last night.

    She wracks her brain for what could have possibly happened the night before but her mind is entirely blank. She remembered leaving her apartment, taking two shots, and then the rest of the night is a blur. How did she get to Dewey’s place? Did Stella drop her off? She noticed her phone sitting on the counter and shakily reached for it, hoping it could give her some answers. It was 14:37, and the only notification she had was an unanswered text from Stella, who asked where the hell she went last night. Evidently, she hadn't dropped Y/N off at Dewey's place. She quickly responded with “i’m fine, lyk later. puking” before checking her conversation with Dewey. 

    She couldn’t decipher a single text message she sent him, and from the looks of it, he’d been in the same boat. All she was able to gather is that she trying to reach Brianna; it wasn’t until she reached the jumbled message reading "il ove dwey som mocuh” that she realized what she’d done. This brought on a whole new wave of nausea and she quickly found herself, again, retching into the toilet. 

    She decided then and there she needed to leave as soon as she could. She was still a bit drunk so driving was definitely out of the question (she didn’t even know where the hell her car was), but she didn’t live too far and assuming she could stand up she just might be able to walk back home without Dewey ever knowing. She’d leave him a note. Using the edge of the bathtub for support, she shakily stood up. It took a while, and the nausea came back and slapped her in the face as soon as she did, but she remained standing without vomiting for a few moments. Y/N decided it would be okay to try to leave. She made a break for it and opened the door as carefully as she could hoping that Dewey wouldn’t hear it when all of a sudden-

    “Ow!”

    Y/N froze. Looking down from the crack in the door, she could see the top of Dewey’s head— he had been right outside the door all night. If her situation hadn’t been such shit, she’d have found it endearing, but right now all she was worried about was their inevitable confrontation and the potential concussion she just gave him. She slammed the door shut.

    “Uh, I’m out of the way now if you wanna come out...” She wanted nothing more than to remain hidden in the bathroom but he knew she was awake, and there was nothing to do now but go out and face him. 

    Once the door was open, she finally got a good look at him. His hair is sticking out in more directions than she can count and the bags under his eyes are dark. Y/N can only imagine what he went through last night trying to get her here. He was wearing his favorite AC/DC shirt and sweats, which clued her into the fact that she wasn't wearing the dress you left home in last night. She fiddled with the fabric at the hem of the shirt before looking up at him “Dewey, did we-?” 

    She didn’t want to imply anything, but she had no other logical explanation for where her clothes could have gone. Her voice sounds gravelly and her throat feels like sandpaper but that’s something he’ll just have to get past. 

    Dewey's eyes widened in panic, and he ran a hand through his hair “No, no! God, no!” He nodded towards a plastic grocery bag tied up by the door, “You didn’t even know who I was when I picked you up, I would never… I was just gonna let you sleep it off in my bed but when we got here you threw up all over yourself. I-I didn’t see anything, I promise. I just couldn’t let you sit in your own puke all night… sorry.”

    “No, oh my God, Dewey, don’t apologize!” Y/N felt awful, she must have put him through hell last night. Sure, he was her best friend, but that went far beyond what she’d ever have expected him to do for her, “I’m so sorry you were stuck dealing with me last night, you can literally pick the movie for every movie night we have ever again. I’ll help you clean up once my headache dies down a little.”

    He smiled a little bit, “There’s nothing to clean up, it’s okay. You should eat.”

    “I’m not hungry.”

    “I know, but you should still eat,” he made his way towards the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice, “You can have some of this and I’ll make you toast. I’ll make you more food if you’re hungry later but for now we should see if you can even keep that down.”

    “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Thanks.”

    As he’s getting the glasses for their orange juice, she felt her panic start to rise. She knew they needed to talk about the text, but he hadn’t brought it up.

    The silence is deafening, and it all but consumes Y/N as she watches the orange juice fill the glass, and before she knows it, there’s toast in front of her. She knew she wouldn’t be able to even consider eating without vomiting until she got this over with. “ImsorryIdrunktextedyou.”

    “’s okay,” he mumbled between bites of toast, “You could barely function as a human being, I didn’t really take anything you said to heart. I’m not entirely convinced you knew who I was. ‘M just glad you’re okay.” Dewey smiles up at her, eyes twinkling, and her heart melts.

    “Dewey, I-”

    “Y/N, I’m not kidding. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re my best friend, I promise I didn’t take any of it seriously.” Dewey could all but hear his heart shatter, and he just prayed she couldn’t hear it too.

    She bit her lip. Jesus fuck, she just wanted him to understand without having to say it out loud. “I um… I know you don’t think I knew what I was saying and uh... for the most part I didn’t, but that text, um, t-the text was um. I feel like that when I’m sober too.” 

    Y/N struggled getting her words out, and although she knew Dewey was trying his hardest to keep his reaction hidden, his nostrils flared. He never notices he’s doing it but she always did— it's a nervous tick of his. Normally it’s really cute, but right now it just made her want to curl up in a ball and never face him again. "N-Nothing has to change, it’s just… I don’t know. Fuck!” 

    With a loud groan, her head was in her hands, blocking out the light (and Dewey), “I just. Don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

    No response.

    “D-Dewey? Are you gonna say something?”

    “I-” he faltered and she prepared herself for the worst. “How long have you felt this way?”

    “What?”

“Howlonghaveyoubeeninlovewithme?”

    “O-Oh, uh… a year. M-Maybe longer.” Y/N finally looked up at him and he was just staring at her, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide. She scooted herself away from the counter and mumbles a quick “thanks for taking care of me last night” before making her second break for the door.

    She only got halfway through the kitchen before she was whipped around and found herself in Dewey’s arms. Shit. He was practically crushing her, and she genuinely couldn't tell if everything felt more intense because she was so hungover or if he was really using that much force. It was probably a bit of both.

    “I love you too,” he mumbled into her hair. 

    Wait. What? 

    “Fuck, Y/N, I’ve loved you for so long and I thought I didn’t stand a chance. And then I got that text and I just— Jesus, when I got to the Roadhouse and saw how trashed you were I didn’t think there was any way you could’ve known what you were saying but… you mean it?”

    She inhaled deeply, forehead still pressed into his chest, “Of course I do, you doofus. How could I not?”

    He squeezed her just a little bit tighter before placing the gentlest of kisses on the top of her head, “I’m really glad you got drunk last night.”

    She laughed quietly, a short huff of air out of her nose that warmed Dewey’s chest through his shirt, “Me too."

#school of rock #school of rock musical #dewey finn x reader #musical!dewey finn x reader

[mothpile]

mes's webcomic recommendations

do YOU like webcomics or want to read some ? here are some i think are good NO im not gonna put my own here even if i think its good. -_-

starting with . i Think these ones are popular and well known..?

Paranatural - A story about paranormal ghosts and stuff. It's a real fun time, and the story is really good. The author's art progression is really impressive, truly skilled with paneling and such. It does eventually shift into a webnovel format with drawings as the author couldn't keep up with doing pages like before, and the quality of goodness of the story stays strong 👍👍

Tiger, Tiger - Story about the importance of sea sponges. Also a fun time, sea faring adventure about, again, sea sponges and how important they are nothing else OK? promise. (liar) PHENOMENAL artwork, very pretty to look at.... 👍👍

The Property of Hate - I need to reread it because i forgetted a lot but its such a cool looking comic and sooo interesting OK?! i swear. It's about a kid being a hero.

Vainglorious - a fun comic about a dragon facing Hubris Consequences. The main trio is real fun, the world is cool, all in all fun comic okie !!

Sakana - Slice-of-life comic about some folks working at a fish stall in a fish market. Real fun. Been on hiatus for four years, but is gonna make a comeback soon (author is working on building up buffer pages And then... ! ) But yeah! real fun.

Witchy - ... one i have to reread, it's been on hiatus since forever as the author was working on another comic (thatllbe out... in a while?), though i assume when that's done they'll come back to this...? Anyhow, I remember it being a very gripping story, and beautifully drawn... Also it's about witches. if. you . couldnt tell by the.. title...

NOW, onto ones that ... i dont Think are super well known ... ?

EcopportunityX - An interactive stick figure limited color palette comic about a facility where bad shit has happened ! uhoh! What the hell happened here! Follow the protagonist on their journey of learning what happened, and escaping the facility. Also, space pinball and ball pit beast is there. 👍👍👍

Eye in the Sky - And it only feels right to bring it up as well, but this is a fancomic of ecopportunityX ! ... Contains eox spoilers, so perhaps read the original first! This one features original characters and takes place a bit before eox, it's nice ok i like it :]

Gold Scissors - One of my all time favourites TBH. The art is nice, I love the story, the world is so cool i love it a lot... do yourself a favor and read it...

Midnight Connection - Finished! by the author of Gold Scissors, it's a short comic that takes place in the same universe, you can get through it in one sitting!! sniffles.

Brainchild - Comic about girl seeing weeeeeird stuff. Ghosts?! who knows. Tis a cool one OK read it...

Fairmeadow - "i hate being on the hippee comune they are always telling me Peace and Love on planet earth , orc lady, Peace and Love, and they do not leave me alone" - true real 100% words said. you can read it and youll see. Very pretty looking, ...

Holly & Macy and Everyone Else - comic about two teens learning about HOMOSEXUALITY and being a witch and its a very sweet .. i like it ok? it's also on tumblr @/ hollymacycomic

Falling to Far - i thiiink? its kinda just getting started, its about two star kids that just arrived to the planet of Far, and they are just checking how things are here rn. okie! its nice ITS ON TUMBLR! my fellow tumblr-hosted webcomicers lets gooooo

Daisy in DREAMLAND - ........ not a .. webcomic. Tis more a webnovel, i believe. It has pictures. Very cool looking guys, love the style, someone drench this cat in a bucket of water.

Needleminder - because fuck it we put webnovels here too I GUESS. it has pictures sometimes. haven't caught up with it recently tho BUT it's Very interesting and gets weird with it in cool ways...

Star Impact - comic about boxing! fighting! and people have gloves that give them a gimmick power tis pretty fuckin cool!

Kitty Corner - Comic about someone who sees ghosts. this ones kiiinda just getting started i think..? put its been promising so far, i like it ANOTHER TUMBLRHOSTED WEBCOMIC LETS GO BABY!

PISS HOLE - The greatest comic ever drawn with a broken trackpad.

Going Home - a comicabout a kid who has t *red dot appears on forehead* *sweats**starts to go get the link to the comic* *snipers pull the t

#THIS HAS BEEN. MES'S RECOMMENDATIONS. #moth talk #EDIT I M LINKING GOING HOMEBECAUSE GENO IS HURTING ME!!!!!!!! WITH HAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!! #ALL GENOS FAULT OK? BLAME MY FRIEND GENO

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature

#starfield #sam coe #cora coe #meta #lillian hart negative #jacob coe negative #fuck hart and fuck jacob they're both cops without empathy and they can get fucking bent thanks for coming to my ted talk

[bishopknifetrickmp3]

any fic recs?

hi anon i am so so sorry for answering this so late, ive been putting it off and keep forgetting about it whoopsss but i hope it's not too late to rec some fic still...so let's gooooo

please noted that until this year, i hadn't read any peterick fic since 2017 so there's a lot im probably missing but im gonna try and recommend some newer fic (to me at least lol) here;

The High Way to Hell Series by @holytrohmanempire - ok this series is not new and everyone probably already read it BUT it's still ongoing and it's epically long and so so damn good, like fall out boy meet supernatural but better, the band dynamic is amazing, the characterization is on point, the episodic format is delightful, AND the peterick slowburn and the payoff in infinity on high installment is wonderful, i would need a whole new post to rave about this fic so i will stop now

Crooked Love - oh man i am OBSESSED with this fic ive been saying this for months, it's just a perfect disastrous romcom, it's funny, it's got my anxiety rising, it's hot, it's romantic, it's featuring finance bro patrick being a human dumpster fire, i love it to death. the author also write other amazing fics, id recommend silver screen dream, between the sheets, and i've forgiven jesus (the last two were co-written and ive forgiven jesus was pretty damn harrowing, but oh so fucking GOOD)

The Difference Between Real Love and the Love On TV - aka instant classic 21st century modern american literature, put this on your bookshelves now

thought i felt you before - now you're closer - the one where patrick is an actual medium and there's hiatus and trying to get your best friend back via asking him to talk to your dead grandfather, it's great and it's gonna rip your heart out a bit but in a very healing way i promise

And I Lived So Much Life - THE ultimate star-crossed lovers, scar-crossed lovers fic of all time, of course they'd be twin skeletons fated for thousand years 25 lives itd only be fair for me to chase you across hundreds thousands lifetime until i find the one in which you return to me OF COURSE

I Don't Want You To Go Yet - kinda summer fling au, the writing is seriously beautiful and the way the author built up their heartbreak is soooooo good

assortment of various incredible au: Here Come This Rising Tide (the robin hood au, SO SO GOOD), Hell or High Water (crazily good pirate au, the author, the_chaotic_panda wrote so many incredible stories please do scroll through their works and enjoy), Superposition (will give you an existential crisis, highly recommend)

i also have raved about older peterick fic under my fic rec tag and for some rec for livejournal era fic, do check out peterick rec list and dropbox made by the incredible @justtothesea i really think it's the most comprehensive list of (older) peterick fic we have, anyway enjoy reading!

#anon #fic rec #peterick #this is like two months late lol im so sorry anon

[leeyanyanyaaan]

told my parents abt the new one piece live action thats coming out (bc i introduce anime to my kdrama mom w live action anime adaptations) and we talked abt how its gonna go

obviously im gonna be biased bc one piece is my favorite of all time (+ i dont have high standards considering ive watched a lot of live action anime), but the trailer looked really promising, and even made me smile and laugh so much! especially during snippets where the crews dynamic was shown (much love to iñaki he makes a perfect luffy), so im really looking forward to the release :D

we mainly talked abt how the adaptations story is gonna go, since yknow this is a BIG big series and its impossible to actually recreate the WHOLE thing, so ofc theres likely to be lots of changes.

SO my take is that they stop at the end of east blue arc/the formation of the og 5 crew and conclude it there, nice and short. east blue/baroque works usually seem to be the make it or break it for ppl getting into one piece so theres that too.

BUT!! lets say that the live action was a huge success, in the same way alice in borderlands s1 was, and they decide to continue adapting it. i dont think its likely and even if they do its gonna be a lot of work considering how meticulous the production crew is with detail (eg building the actual sets like going merry and baratie), but lets say they do it; i actually think it could work up until the end of pretimeskip arc!

think about after sabaody arc they got seperated and originally planned to find each other asap, but then luffy announced they meet in two years after the paramount war arc, and then we get a nice monolgue thingy as the two years pass and we see post time skip luffy kinda thing ready to start the grand line journey, i think itd thatd be a nice way to end the live action!

but ofc, i know how much work all of pre time skip would be, so i know its not very realistic, but if they do decide on producing more seasons i dont really see any other point in between that would be a good stopping point, like its either you stay w the og 5 crew or get all of pretimeskip ot9. i know we have the nonhuman charas to worry about and powers and whatnot, but its not like netflix has to adapt the series frame by frame; on the contrary, they really shouldnt bc the comedic novelty just wont work onto live action, and u can see that they consider this by not giving sanji and usopp the curly eyebrows and long nose (buggy looks fine in the trailer imo, his scene actually gave off video game trailer vibes which i liked a lot). i really think it can work if they just toned down the series to make it more down to earth (this could mean cutting down some of luffys moves like gum gum balloon in place of more practical fighting moves, which is most likely going to be the case for zoro and sanji i think) and i guess simplifying the story in general?

anyways, those are just some headcanons of mine AHAHDVSKBS very excited for the one piece live action!!

#noisyanyan #one piece #one piece live action #one piece netflix

[homegrown-blorbo-garden]

im not even gonna sugarcoat it, i had a bit of a garbage weekend and ive spent the past couple days recovering from it. that being said, i will be accepting two people to help me write down submissions!

you just need to send me via DMs your availability and, if you’re invited to help, ill need your email address so i can add you to the google form and the google doc!

it may take me a while to get back to y’all im not gonna lie, i still need to work on formatting the google doc and that may take a while, but i promise ill respond to everyone!

[bartxnhood]

boyfriend. | p.p

gif not mine

I tasm!peter x female!reader

summary: in which peter knows he could treat youbetter than your current boyfriend, harry. he'd doanything to let you know how much he loves you.

warnings: i don't think there is any :)

authors note: i am back once again. tbh idk what i was thinking here but i definitely kinda like it. and if you can't tell, this was heavily inspired my dove cameron's boyfriend. i dont have high hopes for this one, but nonetheless, enjoy :) also requests are open if you'd like to send something in :)

Copyright © 2022 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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you stood alone, abandoned in the gymnasium. harry was nowhere to be seen, you were frustrated. on the verge of tears. you expected this from him, but on prom night? did he not care about you like that? you looked over the sea of people, dancing, talking, drinking, and eating in an attempt to find your boyfriend but, nothing. your eyes met with peters, he saw the sadness in your eyes and knew.

the sadness has been looking in your eyes for months now, you had become so insecure because of harry. and peter was tired of it. you deserved someone worth your time. to peter, you were the best thing in his life. you had such a beautiful smile, the way you lit up as if he had done something stupid and you couldn’t help but laugh. you were the brightest star in the night sky. you made peter a better person. and to see harry belittle you, seeing you lose the light in your eyes made him angry. this wasn’t supposed to happen to you. not his y/n. not peters best girl. you deserved someone better, even if it wasn’t peter. though, he wanted it to be him.

parker knew he could treat you better than any other guy. he just wanted you to want him back.

pushing past the crowd of people, peter was determined to be by your side. “y/n.” peter emerged, his dark navy suit caught your eye. “peter” you sighed, feeling weight being lifted from your shoulders. “he left me.” you finally blurted, you felt a pang in your chest knowing tears would soon follow. peter wrapped his arms around you, letting your head rest on his chest. “i know” he sighed, rubbing your back gingerly. “pete, your suit” you huffed, looking up at him. afraid of ruining it with your makeup. “shh it’s fine” he shook his head, wiping away your tears with his callused thumb. he held you for a minute, but it felt like forever to you. “cmon, im taking you home.” he suggested, pulling away and reaching for your hand. “you don’t need to be here.” you nodded, following behind him and out the large doors.

exiting the building, peter had taken off his blazer and draped it over your shoulders, reaching for your hand again. “he had no right to do that to you, y/n/n” he huffed. you knew he was upset, and so were you. thinking you could get over your feelings for peter but you only got hurt in return.

oh, foolish heart.

“i can’t believe he would be that stupid to leave you alone. if i see him, i’m gonna-“ you were quick to grab his hand, cutting him off. “pete. don’t. just relax.”

peter wanted nothing but the best for you, even if it meant you didn’t love him back in that way. he’d still do everything he could to be in your life, as long as you were happy, he was happy. but seeing you so broken, and being used. he couldn’t let it continue.

“promise me something, y/n?” your eyes met with his. both of you stopping in your tracks. “end it with him. you don’t need someone like that in your life.”

“i will.”

peter had suggested he take you back to his place, to avoid your parents. not that they did anything, you just couldn’t handle your mother's interrogation. you couldn’t take it.

you sat on the edge of peters bed, still in your dress while peter finished talking with may. your eyes stared out the window, the day fully coming to an end as the sky darkened. “i brought you some extra clothes, in case you wanted to change.” he entered the room, some folded clothes in hand, and laid them next to you. your eyes followed him, “thank you.” he nodded, “it’s no problem” he shot you a sympathetic smile and began to loosen his tie.

“you’re always saving me, pete. thank you” you sniffled, taking the clothes in hand and making your way to the bathroom, holding up your dress with the other hand.

and when you returned, peter had changed as well. you tossed the large green dress on the floor and went back to peters bed. “feel better?” he looked up at you, only getting a shrug from you. “can you help me take my hair down? there’s a lot of pins” he patted the spot in front of him which you scooted over and he proceeded to pick the pins out of your hair. “you know” peter started, “harry has no idea what he’s missing out on.” you simply shrugged, you couldn’t stomach talking about him again.

“i don’t know what i was thinking, i thought i could get my mind off someone else, but i only got hurt worse. i’m so stupid” a dry laugh escapes your lips. peter paused, now knowing why you had started dating harry. but his shoulders dropped knowing you probably liked someone else. “stop. stop blaming yourself.” he hummed.

his scratchy voice sending chills down your spine. you only let your shoulders drop. looking down at your hands. soon enough peter had gotten a majority of the pins out. and with that, you finally let your hair down letting up the stress on the scalp.

peter got a whiff of the scent of your shampoo and he couldn’t help but look away. you still hadn’t changed it all these years. that familiar floral smell he wishes he could smell forever. it was you. if only he could have you. but, it was obvious you liked someone else. you discarded the hairpins, and sat next to peter again. “if it wasn’t for you, i’d be so lost. i’m so glad you came into my life” you smiled sadly, peter placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “you’ll always have me in your corner. id do anything for you, you know that.” you nodded. you did know, hell, if you didn’t have him you’d still be miserable. he was always there for you. no matter what.

you were now curled up on peters chest, your eyes still glued to the window. not saying anything, you thought peter had fallen asleep by now. but when you looked up at him, he was looking down at you. “i thought you were asleep.” he laughed, a simple shake of his head. you smiled, the dim light of his lamp made his skin look so beautiful, the why his hair laid in his eyes and how he looked at you. you could stare at him for ages.

“peter, will you kiss me?”

the brown-haired boy stared at you, brown eyes wide. his lips parted, “did you just ask if i’d-“ “kiss me” you interrupted him. this time begging him. “please” you whispered. peter sat up, his eyes not leaving yours once as he brought his hand to your cheek and then pressed his lips on yours ever so lightly. afraid he would hurt you in any way. his lips felt so soft against yours. pure bliss engulfed your body. this was whist what you imagined your kiss with peter to be like. when he pulled away, eyes meeting with yours his cheeks were a bit flushed. having such a huge crush on you, he never thought he gets to have you.

your hands on his neck, you leaned in again connecting your lips. this time this kiss was longer and more intimate. your hands tangled in his brown curls while he was resting on your lower back, occasionally pulling you in. when you pulled away, catching your breath you couldn’t help but stare at him. this is what you both had wanted for so long.

#peter parker #peter parker x you #marvel mcu #peter parker x reader #spider man: no way home #andrew garfield #tasm 2 #andrew garfield fluff #tasm x reader #andrew!peter x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker blurb #peter parker fluff #andrew garfield angst #andrew!peter parker

[nicegaai]

stuck on writing again. im gonna talk myself thru it in text post form

okay if i dont wrap this oneshot up before my brain completely burns out editing it i will lose my mind

naturally theres buildup to sex and then i really just do not want to write it. i can fade to black or otherwise gloss over it, sure. whatever. but then i have to write something AFTER IT and i also dont know what to do with that.

like i have a little bit im working on ...... as much as i dont want it to feel abrupt i just want it to be OVERRRR . i dont want to wrap up anything, i dont want to think about this. the dramatic spoiled artist in my brain is throwing a tantrum. It's Whatever. this isnt my magnum opus, its just me trying to exorcise myself of the ince/st kink demon again . it never works and i feel real weird about it. like am i propagandizing atp? im scared im passing this kink onto others accidentally. sorry im like this. nobody look at me. anyway

i dont want this to be Good as much as i want it to be Done <- lying

i could try to cut it off early . but oh my god if i ended it as soon as they start making out thats weird, i dont like that flow. if i cut it as soon as theyre in bed together thats ... tht only works if its a fade to black and then we come back afterwards right? wouldnt it be strange to have 5k words of buildup, then they kiss and it fades to black, and then thats it?

reading that, i might feel cheated. but my god i do not want to write another bj i dont want to write them actually doing it. i would NEVER get around to finishing that. like i said. i am so close to burnout i need to figure out how to end this quick. i wanna do it TONIGHTTTT.

and i think i do need to add more. i guess the morning after?

ughhhgh sghdhgshgshdskgks dgshkld gsd hsd js dsdkskfhsdkjfs dksjkhdf ksjhdfks jdhfksj dfksjdhfkjshdfkjshdf

ok ok .

because, i do want to play with the fallout a little. i have ideas. but i am also so so tired. of this i mean. (the fallout is ofc that they fuck again. which i also won't write.)

ok current game plan.

i go back into the document. i have an hr n a half. i write up a short aftersex interaction and end it whenever it feels right. do NOT make it long enough to let them leave the room. it is a SHORT conversation. then i go back and finalize the fadeout sex.

at this point i probably will have to leave (friday niteee bb) (i am a very slow writer) but when i get back i can go over the highlighted text ive marked to edit / research / etc... clean it up quickly. then do the ao3 format stuff i suppose !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! add tags summary etc.

....yeah ! yeah i guess.

writing fanfic is all about learning who u are as a writer i think. id like to move on to personal projects someday yk... first thing ive learned: do not let urself edit the same 15 pages on an eternal ocd loop: u will explode and die before u get to the actual end

anyway after this i promise to write all that cousin sex. somehow i have never lost interest in that au. having friends to talk ab ur au with always makes them more fun

#p