#im gonna hate the next chapter so much for reasons i wont say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quokkacore · 3 years

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with great power I [lee jeno]

summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.

pairing: lee jeno x reader

genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack

warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric

song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare

word count: 10.5k

a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee for beta reading <3

main masterlist // story masterlist

chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.

When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday.

And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.

In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00.

He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak.

He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.

[7:48 AM]

y/n: pssst

y/n: shithead

y/n: where r u ????

[7:49 AM]

y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know

jeno: …… i'm on the train

jeno: woke up late

y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR

y/n: LATE*

y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR

[7:50]

jeno: probably, yeah

jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY

y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday

y/n: [sent an attachment!]

[7:51 AM]

jeno: SHUT UP

jeno: you're not funny >:(

jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune

y/n: au contraire im hilarious

jeno: meanie :(

jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here

jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,

[7:52 AM]

y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear

y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh

y/n: also ur literally never late

y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill

y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine

Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid.

The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me.

Don’t be stupid.

Too late!

Thwip!

Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range.

Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.

Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life.

But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.

Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly.

[7:57 AM]

y/n: let me know when u get here !!!

No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.

The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took.

After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School.

[8:06 AM]

jeno: just did >:D

Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.”

He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”

“The Bachelor?”

“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”

He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation.

A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.

“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”

Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”

“I, uh… ran a little.”

You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”

“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”

The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement.

The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.

You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”

You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”

“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.”

He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon.

“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”

Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking.

"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored.

San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him.

You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you.

“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.” “Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”

“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry.

“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.”

Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front.

“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since.

“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her.

“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.

You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today.

It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—

“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.

“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”

Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”

“I don’t like her, Yeeun.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Hey! Jeno Lee!”

“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.

“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”

Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.

“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”

“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”

You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”

“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”

“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.

“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”

“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken.

“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”

“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”

Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”

Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.

“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”

The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.

“Fuck you, Huang.”

Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”

The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club.

"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.

"San Choi."

Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you.

"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"

"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."

"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."

Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."

“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.

You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”

The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”

Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”

If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.

The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice.

“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”

Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”

Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?”

Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.

As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled.

“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately.

“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”

You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”

“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”

You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?”

“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?”

You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”

Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.

“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.

“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”

“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’.

“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”

He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”

You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag.

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.”

He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch.

Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy.

Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time.

Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord.

All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends.

"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"

Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"

"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"

"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."

You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?"

You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"

"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"

"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”

You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.

So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”

Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”

San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”

You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”

“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”

You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”

San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.

“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”

“Coming!” San yelled back.

“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”

The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”

Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”

You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”

“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!”

Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.

You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.

I want you to know now

Baby, it could go down

I don’t wanna talk about it

Baby, let’s just go now

The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.

When you talk right to me

You gon’ have to do me

Every time you think you’re leaving

You running back to me

You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months.

Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung.

He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung.

And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history.

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Talk about where we're goin'

Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts

Can't get what we want without knowin'

Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since.

You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything.

I've never felt like this before

I apologize if I'm movin' too far

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Figure out where we're goin'...

As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.

The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration.

Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to.

It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel.

Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.

When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face.

He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also.

To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college.

To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing.

Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.

“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!”

Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.

"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"

"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."

Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss.

That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either.

Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"

Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only.

This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters.

Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.

"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked.

"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."

Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"

"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."

Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.

“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”

“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”

“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”

Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.

“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—”

The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”

The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.

Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit.

Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.

"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here."

Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."

Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."

Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."

Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."

The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.

Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”

Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things.

“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”

“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”

“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”

Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”

Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”

Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”

“M-me, Mr. Park?”

Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.

“You don’t know who this is, right?”

Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”

Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious.

“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”

“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”

“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”

“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”

Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”

Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.

“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”

Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together.

“Perfect.”

They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.

After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.

Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things.

Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.

“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed.

Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.

“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?”

The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!”

Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.

“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.

"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”

“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”

“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”

Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”

Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”

Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”

Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.”

Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”

Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”

“Jeno?”

He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.

His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”

You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”

“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.”

You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."

"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."

"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."

Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."

Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.

"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."

But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"

He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out.

"So you left your keys."

Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."

You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry."

Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me."

Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change."

Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"

You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult. You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.

"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."

Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"

"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."

Jeno nodded. "This sucks."

"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"

Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest.

"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"

You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."

"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."

"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?"

Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."

Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."

He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"

"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year."

Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."

Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.

"Deal."

You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."

The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist.

On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.

Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether.

When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.

“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly.

“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed.

And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”

Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”

Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.

The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.

He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.

“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”

“Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”

“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”

“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”

Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”

“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.”

A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.

Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them.

“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”

“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was.

“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”

Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”

One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”

“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before.

“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”

Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”

The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”

Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”

“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped.

“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.

“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we’ll be back here to negotiate.”

Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.

“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”

“Hand it over, then.”

That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.

“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”

In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him.

“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered.

“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”

“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”

Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came.

The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground.

The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”

“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!”

So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.

When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths.

Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault.

He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station.

As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could.

He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.

What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.

[8:36 PM]

y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)

“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.

The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.

After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.

His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”

You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up.

“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”

He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.

“Y/N, what happened?”

taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs @crescentjen

#kwritersworldnet #nct angst #nct x reader #jeno x reader #jeno angst #jeno fluff #nct au #jeno au #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop imagines #nct dream x reader #lee jeno x reader #my writing

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brelione · 3 years

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Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going,

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

“Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered.

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring.

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated.

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning.

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window.

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment.

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered.

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story.

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed. “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street.

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

“Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

“Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

“What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

“I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in.

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

“Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile.

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them.

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy.

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room.

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries.

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom.

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested.

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded.

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it.

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose.

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh.

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

“Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways.

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh.

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob.

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued.

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

“Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know.

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

“Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs.

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you.

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color.

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

“I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

“How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

“I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter.

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed.

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper.

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text.

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps.

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left.

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

“We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project.

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

“I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist.

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

“Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall.

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots.

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

“Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall.

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back.

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away.

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso.

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly.

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again.

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much.

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house.

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon.

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end.

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

“Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

“I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

“Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right.

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well.

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

“So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

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#topper x reader #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #topper thorton smut #topper thornton fluff #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #kelce smith #kelce imagine #kelce x reader #kelce outer banks #the best boys

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bxthharmon · 4 years

Text

Never Go Home Again, Pt. I || JJ Maybanks x Reader

Words: 2667

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: self harm (kind of?)

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy. teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: the second time she saw him, it was at a kook party.

A/N: Okay so I KNOW i havent finished WB (im not even halfway lol) but i got this idea from rewatching euphoria. you dont have to look too closely to see that ive mirrored a couple of seens, but the plot, while inspired by euphoria, wont be the same. let me know what you think, or if you wanna be tagged!

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

This story does follow the plot, so beware of any spoilers.

This town seemed too perfect. Sure, you were on the poor side of the town, but the houses were well kept and everyone was happy and friendly. It was as far from home as you could get. You hated this. The boxes stacked up in the boot, and the bags piled up in the seats behind you. The fact that you were over two and half thousand miles away from home. The fact that this was a new beginning you were sure you didn’t need.

You watched as people loaded boats with shopping bags or crates of beer, and how they all seemed to be happy with their small roles in this small town. It was everything you hated and more.

You looked at your dad, in the seat next to you. He kept his eyes on the road, glancing down while he tried to find a radio station with decent music. He settled on reggae track by Bob Marley, and hummed along. You rolled your window down, smelling the salty air that blew in from the coast even as you wound your way further into the poor housing of this end of the island.

That was when you saw him.

He was on his bike, no helmet, his longish blonde hair waving around his face, and a baseball cap slung backwards over his head. You drove past, pushing your head out of the window to keep the view, and his eyes found yours in a way you couldn’t describe. You held his gaze until the car turned, pulling into a driveway. Your new house.

Your dad turned to you with a long sigh.

“I know you’re not happy about this.” he started, and you looked at his concerned face.

“I just don’t understand how moving almost three thousand miles will change anything.” you reasoned.

“Well, you know why. She’s not here, and you won’t have to deal with all of that shit that happened at school.”

“So we’re running away?”

“Y/N, just give this place a chance.”

You nodded. “Dad, how can we afford this?”

He looked at you defeatedly.

You continued, “I mean, with the divorce, and what she did, how could we afford the moving fees and the house? Cross-state moving fees are mad, let alone when you’re on an island too.”

“Hey,” he shook his head, “I’m the adult, I’ll worry about that.”

In your first week on the island, you made friends with a girl called Sarah. She was from Figure 8, but had explained the dynamics between the pogues and kooks to you, and invited you to a party. It was her boyfriend, Topper’s, but she explained that plenty of pogues and tourons would crash anyway.

You arrived without her, a pair of cycling shorts and a crop top thrown over your bikini in a minimal-effort kind of way. Your one stab at an effort was the blue and purple glitter dabbed over your cheek bone to recreate a highlighter effect. When you got there, you could immediately tell you were underdressed. Everyone else were in shirts and dresses, and your glitter was definitely too ‘city’ to be cool here, so you stuck out, obviously the only pogue there. You spent twenty minutes trying to find Sarah, picking up some vodka on your way around.

Eventually, after leaving a few texts, you sat down on the kitchen counter and nursed your vodka. You had no idea how long you sat there for, but at some point, Sarah’s brother stormed in. You recognised him from one of Sarah’s instagram posts, but you knew he’d never seen you in person. He looked high. And angry.

“Get out of the fucking kitchen!” he was yelling, and people began to filter out, but due to your obscured path, you couldn’t get out. He turned on you.

“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded, “‘Cause I don’t fucking know you!”

“Uh,” you mumbled, “I’m Y/N, I got invited by a friend.”

Where the fuck was Sarah?

“Well I don’t know any Y/Ns. And I don’t see any fucking friends!” He yelled, slurring and stumbling. “Does anybody know Y/N?”

You looked around the gathering crowd, trying to spot Sarah, hoping she would appear and get you out of this.

“I said, does anybody fucking know Y/N? What the fuck are you doing in this house?” He cornered you, and you were beginning to panic. How the fuck do I get out of this situation?

You didn’t even realise what you were doing, but you felt yourself grab a knife from the counter and thrust it towards him. He stumbled back and you stepped forwards.

“Don’t fucking yell at me!” you shouted, watching him lean back against the wall in fear. You didn’t even register doing it but you felt the blade slice your arm.

You stepped back, addressing the shocked audience. “By the way, I’m Y/N,” You looked around, finding those blue eyes you’d seen a week ago. “And I just moved here.”

You dropped the knife on the counter and pushed your way out of the house, pulling your phone out when you got to the pavement. You checked your messages with Sarah.

You: just got here, where r u?

You: girl, where u at?

You: sarah, i dont know anyone, where r u?

You: im going home, shit turned sour. Msg me later.

Putting your phone away, you looked around. You hardly knew where you were, and you were desperate to get home.

“That was quite a show.” You heard a voice behind you. Shit.

You turned, and saw your blonde haired boy. “Well I knew someone was gonna get hurt either way, so I chose to deescalate the situation, you know?”

He nodded, reaching for your arm, looking at the cut. “You need to get that looked at.”

“You offering?” you asked, pushing down a smile.

“Sure.” he shrugged. You looked at him. He looked at the ground, an uncharacteristic shyness taking him over, “Can I stay at yours?”

You watched him stare at the ground, and however much you wanted to ask, you chose not to. “Sure, we just gotta be extra quiet.”

He grinned, “‘Course.”

“Okay,” you sighed, “This is where I confess that I don’t actually know my way home.”

“We’ll work it out.” he grinned.

When you reached your house, learning that it was only a minute down the road from the blonde boy’s friend's house, you opened the door as quietly as possible, the pair of you pulling off your shoes and carrying them for extra quiet. You snuck up the stairs, trying to avoid the creaky stair boards, and pausing in terror every time there was a creak. By the time you’d made it to your room, the only other room upstairs being a bathroom, you both relaxed. You searched your moving boxes, finding your brother’s old sweat and tee for him, and going to the bathroom so that you could change into an oversized top and old gym shorts.

When you came back, a first aid kit in hand, the boy sat you down on the bed and began to address the cut.

You watched him work in silence. “What’s your name?” you whispered, and he glanced up at you, a smile on his lips.

“JJ.” he said simply, a small smirk adorning his lips as he finished dressing your arm.

You flopped down, so that you were lying on your back in the bed, and he looked at you with an odd sense of curiosity. “Lie down.” softly, you coaxed.

“Usually I get to know a girl before I get in her bed.” he joked, and the way you laughed made him want to freeze the moment in time.

“Why do I feel like that’s not true?” you snarked.

He gasped, putting his hand to his chest in feigned hurt, “Oh Y/N, I’ve known you for an hour and you’re already breaking my heart!”

“What can I say?” you bantered, “I’m just pure femme fatale.”

He crawled onto the bed, resting his head on the pillows above you. “Oh,” he replied, “I’m sure.”

You flipped onto your stomach, looking at him, relaxed, head on the pillows, gazing down at you. “At home, there weren’t any guys like you.”

He laughed, unsure of himself, “Love, there aren’t any other guys like me.”

You hummed, fiddling with the corner of your throw blanket, looking at him through your lashes, you giggled. “You’re so full of shit.”

He grabbed a pillow and threw it straight at your head. You picked it up, your face scrunched up from the impact, and he laughed. You sat up, crossing your legs, and threw it back at his face, only he caught, laughing, saying something about you having a bad throw. He put the pillow back, and you crawled back up the bed, lying on your back, your arms touching as you both stared at the ceiling.

You glanced at him, taking how his warm tan contrasted the blue light of the moon that shone through the large window above your bed. You took in the way his muscles gave him definition, and how the top stretched slightly over his chest, and how his long blonde hair splayed over the pillow, your own, waist-length hair tickling his arm as you lay there. You took in the curve of his nose and the tiny, mischievous smirk that never seemed to leave his face. You took in his long eyelashes and the blue of his eyes and the pink of his cheeks.

At some point, you drifted off.

When you woke up, you were tucked into him, your legs tangled in his, hair spread over his arm. His eyes were still closed, and you didn’t move from your spot, keeping your eyes on his face.

“You know,” he murmured, “If you take a picture, it’d last longer.”

Blushing, you pulled away. “I don’t know what you’re on about.” you sat up, feeling his fingers trace the curve of your back as you moved out of his reach. You left the bed, looking back to see him sit up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and you watched him take in the way your top fell over your frame. You searched your moving boxes again, looking for an outfit for the day. You really needed to move everything into the wardrobe. Eventually, you pulled out a bikini and shorts. You looked back at him, and he grinned at you.

You looked at him curiously, “What are you doing today, JJ?”

He thought for a second, electing against going home, but rather to go to John B’s for a day of weed and joking around. “Introducing you to my friends.” he shrugged, “The one who lives a minute down the road.”

You nodded, “What are we, in a relationship?” you joked, “Introducing me to your friends? Next thing I know I’ll be round for dinner.”

He felt dirty when you said that, shrinking into himself, hoping that you would never experience the shit that came with meeting his dad. You must have realised you’d hit a nerve, because you backtracked, saying you’d been stupid and whatever you’d said to upset him wasn’t intentional. When he looked back up, he saw how the tears of worry were building, and he immediately changed his demeanor, rushing forwards to hug you, assured you that it was all good.

You went to get changed, leaving him in your room.

He looked around. The corner was full of boxes yet to be unpacked, the open ones mainly clothes. There was a desk under the window, with some makeup, a book and a notebook thrown on top. The wardrobe doors were open, revealing that the few clothes that were in your wardrobe were very messily so, most either hung up or on the floor. There was a shelf above the hangers, with a shoebox pushed carefully to the side. He pulled it out, conscious that he was snooping. He pulled the lid off, and saw a set of pictures.

The first - you at a funfair when you were a little, a boy two years older (must be your brother) and a woman, almost identical to you, hugging you close. The second, you were older, perhaps twelve - you were wearing a Christmas onesie that matched the woman’s, your brother and dad laughing as you and the woman - your mother - danced around. The third - you were in a hospital gown, and your mother was crying, holding you close.

There were more, but he didn’t look. Under the photos, there was a tiny crocheted rabbit and a baby blanket with little elephants on it. He heard your bathroom door open, and rushed to put the lid on, putting the box back. You walked in, smiling at him as you checked your phone.

Dad missed calls (6)

Bro missed calls (3)

Sarah missed calls (11)

You sighed, checking Sarah’s messages.

Sarah: Sorry!! I heard what happened, i should hv been there. Meet up 2day?

You: Rain check? I met a guy last night and he wants to introduce me to his mates.

Sarah: U go girl!! Enjoy urself, msg me if u need me <3

You flicked off Sarah’s messages, glancing back at JJ, who was looking at your make up.

Mom: Darling, call me when you can.

The last text made you want to throw up, and you tossed your phone on the bed, drawing JJ’s attention back to you. “You okay?” he asks, and you nod, grabbing your purse and picking your phone back up, and getting ready to go.

“Okay, I’ll go down first, I’ll signal if there’s no one there so you can come down.” you ran down the stairs, checking the kitchen and living room, then giving JJ the all-clear. You left the house, letting him walk you to his friend’s place.

He took your hand, guiding your through the front door and into the house. You wrinkled your nose at the mess, food, clothes and empty cans littering the room. “This is a mess.” you muttered, stepping over an empty packet of sweets.

“His mom left when he was three and his dad’s missing, the lack of adults means… well, you can see what it means.”

You nodded, only just noticing a boy asleep on the sofa next to you. JJ leans over, sighing. “That’s Pope, I’ll go get John B and see if Kiara’s here.” he let go of your hand, walking down the hall, leaving you with the sleeping boy. You watched the boy shuffle and then open his eyes, jumping at the sight of a stranger standing over him.

“Who are you?” he asked, sitting up and staring at you.

“JJ’s friend.” you said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“You’re the girl who cut herself.” he said, recognition relaxing his features.

“My reputation precedes me.” you laugh, and he stands up.

“Food?” he offers, walking to the kitchen.

“Y’all have food here? It looks like you live off Swedish Fish and beer.”

He grins, “That’s the life.” he jokes, pulling a slice of moldy bread from its packet, and then throwing it straight in the bin. “That said, John B does need to get groceries more.”

“I do?” you heard a voice behind you. You turned, and were met with the sight of a tall brunette boy. He stares at you for a second, and rather than Pope’s blunt recollection, he grins, “You’re Y/N, right?” You nod, “You left quite the impression at Topper’s party.”

“What can I say?” you laughed.

JJ came back from the hallway, accompanied by a girl. “You must be Y/N!” she greets, smiling brightly, “I’m Kiara.”

“Well…” JJ pipes up, “Let's take the HMS out to the marsh and introduce Y/N to the OBX properly!”

“I’m down.” Kiara shrugged, “I don’t have any shifts today.”

“Sure,” agreed Pope.

“Leave in twenty?” John B offered.

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icharchivist · 3 years

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cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty

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hongism · 2 years

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hi caly im back after reading moc41 and just... mind: blown. tears: none left. throat: sore after screaming into my pillow so much. emotional stability: basically gone from the amount of damage made in this chapter. but all that aside I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

if theres one thing that saved me i’d say its probably all the san x y/n moments in 41 (tho ironically that joy is kinda short-lived aha :’) and also nightingale and soojin and LUCA now in the picture! i’m just manifesting more of their interactions once y/n comes back pls bring her back quick dear miss calyyy ㅠㅠㅠ

and also everyone probably already went batshit crazy at hongjoong while simultaneously sympathizing with the logic of his choices can’t hide that i’m one of them askwkzjs. again, i’m broken at how he went with the decision without the reluctance we all thought he would have, and it even seems like he’s eager to let her go if not for his guilt towards san. i guess hardly anybody would feel good when they’re being abandoned and deemed as less worthy, even if its by someone seemingly unimportant to them. i just wanna know if there’s any hope for y/n and hongjoong mending their relationship in the next act, or just any none-hateful moments? please i need them to be (somewhat) okay if yall wont choke each other sexually FINE just dont choke each other all together please askjwuwhshs 😭

and i cant even talk too much about wooyoung and yeosang it pains me and it even GETS WORSE OH MY GOD?!! but apart from that, i’m also super curious about the thing yeosang said to y/n too. i have a tiny theory basically about that part, but when i first read it i thought it sounds like y/n was part of the slave group wooyoung was in when yeosang was still prince??? like yeosang was somehow gonna choose y/n in that group, but ended up choosing wooyoung instead. or even if she wasn’t actually in the slave group it’s something about wooyoung beind chosen in y/n’s place, and yeosang already met her before she joined the crew. and y/n seemed so confused because she got brainwashed so she’s couldn’t remember all that (?)

overall ur a legend and this is a masterpiece as always caly, and it’s absolutely worth the wait. as angsty as this is gonna get i’m still really looking forward to the next chapters!! take your time and stay healthy bestie <3 — 🌊

hello hi bestie!!! IM SORRY!!!! i did a lot of damage huh 😫🤪 im so glad to hear you loved tho!!! that makes me soso happy hehe <3

anywho! im glad the y/n and san moments made it bearable and survivable! they had some good moments in the first half of the chapter :3 but don't worry we won't have to suffer for long pink promise!!!

you bring up a good point of hongjoong's choices and how it seems like his guilt towards san is the only reason he feels bad about his decision. i can't say that his decisions are gonna be made better or worse in the future, but there is a rather big reveal in the next chapter that will make the knife go a little deeper unfortunately :') is there any hope for y/n and hongjoong? it's too early to say really, we have such a long ways to go that i don't want to say anything without spoiling! we gotta go through some rough things to get to the better and happier things tho!!!

then... wooyoung and yeosang 😭 the most painful part for me as well tbh ahh yeah god damn !!! there's a lot to it and a lot in it and a lot of pain and layers of course! i can't say much but you are on the right track indeed with your theory and that's all i can say 🤐 but we have to remember that y/n lost her memories not once but twice! before joining the military and when jisung went in too! so there's definitely a lot of possibilities in there!!

thank u as always MUAH ur too kind <3 this one was VERY angsty, but i can say that it's as bad as it's gonna get for a while!! stay healthy too bestie i luv u <333

#🌊 anon #mists of celeste #moc: spoilers

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seijch · 3 years

Text

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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hufflautia · 4 years

Note

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them. my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help.

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

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bepoets · 3 years

Text

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

#shards of shards #couragedontdesertme #Trish’s fics #shards #shardsverse #elsarik

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breaniebree · 4 years

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A Second Chance Chapter 219

I received an amazing number of reviews on this chapter and I wanted to share them/address some of them here to show my immense appreciation for those who take the time to drop me a line or two for what I write.

Some of you have decided after this chapter you can no longer follow my story and while it saddens me, I expected it. I write first for myself and I know where I want this story to go and while I hope you all keep reading it -- I know that not everyone will continue it.

Devereaux13: I can’t. You really just did that to us? Started this story with a oh! Sirius is gonna live! But NOO u had to frick us all over. Oh my god. I love you for this story but hate you for this story. I cried more this time than the cannon one. Goddamn

Lightningscar: Huh, well, judging from the reviews, this chapter is getting you a lot of heat... personally, I though it was great in many ways, both in action, description of thoughts/feelings and great descriptions of what was going on. My biggest beef, though, gotta be this: *Ginny grabbed Luna's hand and the two of them climbed onto the wolverine's back* Ehm, it is likely it was explained in previous chapters, and if memory serves, Animagi are generally slightly larger than their natural counterparts, but... a wolverine is generally about the same size as a medium dog, shoulder height being around 30-45 cm (12-18 inches), 65–107 cm (26–42 in) long (not counting the tail). Basically, Ginny and Luna are crawling on top of a Spaniel or a Golden Retriever (on the small size) Yes, wolverines are ridiculously strong compared to their size, capable of carrying prey many times its own size... carrying dragging it. One big difference between carrying something in its powerful jaws, compared to carrying something heavy on its back. A few other minor beefs Ehm, why did Voldemort pull a Jafar on the cat (Lady G, was it?) and not outright kill it? So they got giants wandering down mid London without anyone being the wiser? I'm sure you have thought of the logistics about it :) Well, all in all, great chapter. Things have advanced rapidly compared to canon, for better (less Horcruxes) and worse (Ministry bye-bye)... though, in the latter case, it can be interpreted somewhat ambigious. Fallen as in the place (which was a given, seemed to be completely overrun suddenly... makes one wonder where all of the defence forces went, guess we will find out sooner) or if it has fallen as an orginazation like they did in canon. Curious to see what happens next. Yours sincerely, Lightningscar

Menna Taha: Ok let me just say.. Sirius was going into battle with the intent to save his son, knowing that his Fiancée who he was very much in love with was pregnant with TWINS. I mean you’d think he would be more careful than in the books where he was reckless, lonely, rusty and under house arrest in a place he hated. Also the ministry fell! Just like that! After all the preparation and the relations with the french, Bulgarian and Russian ministries AND the fae and the army they made AND the warning they recieved! What were they fucking sleeping! I love you please don’t hate me.

They were not sleeping, but they weren’t prepared like they should have been. It’s a problem that will be addressed.

HGRHfan35: Well...shit... This was a really bad idea: to read this in bed. How the blazes do you expect me to sleep, now?!

Daddy: WTF! Why end it here. WHY!

Wade Bradford: Noooooooooooooooo!

AZfangirl: i cant believe you killed sirius. this one really hurts

Ofglitterandgiggles: I’m broken

axelvaz: Started this about a week ago and I’m finally all caught up! But oh my gosh! What a cliffhanger! Sirius!

Emeralds and Rubies: I thought we might get off easy when Pettigrew fell through the veil, butI’m heartbroken for Harry and Zee, but you definitely did this whole plot point justice.

maximusrexmundi: Eeeeeehhhhh so I was with you until the very end. I just can't imagine a Voldy who is objectively in a weaker position (than in the books) being able to muster a force that could attack and defeat a FULLY prepared ministry who both knew he was coming AND had international allies

Runningtwiceasfast: I have to say I am incredibly impressed with this chapter. I am obviously sad as I was in canon when Sirius died but due to the more uplifting tone of your work overall that you would shy away from a turn like this. Sirius' death is so important in canon a it really is a turning point in the story. Obviously when Cedric died it was sad but Sirius' death made everything all the more real. Your Harry has gotten so much more of a life and childhood than canon Harry but he too is now faced with the reality of life without Sirius. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Joanne: Wow! I’m so sad. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin in honour of Siri. I had hoped that this part of canon would be ignored but alas. War is war. Amazing storytelling: you made us feel this loss and that takes talent. I both dread and look forward the next chapter. Will Harry take Ginny with him? Will the breakup occur? Did Remus and Tonks make it out? Will there be a funeral? So many questions! Enjoy your birthday and rest while we all grieve.

Ahugefun: I need you to undo sirius death. Im not joking He shouldnt Not with zee pregnant and harry so attached to him Its not fair to us the readers who enjoyed your story so much andddd already mourned sirius a little bit when he was kissed before you changed that.. Im hoping that you wont kill remus and tonks in the end of the war. U are your own story and if somthing happen in jkr world doesnt mean it should here!

Everything that happens in JKR’s world is what inspired me to write my story so of course it affects it. Some will be the same, some will not -- includes character death. Not everyone will die who did in canon, but some will, and some who survived in canon, will die here.

jakegarrett94: nooooooo not sirius

Leaf Ranger: ...I'm sorry...but this...this is exactly why I called fucking bullshit in the last chapter. Because of all this. This. My problem isn't the pacing of your story. My problem is all this death and carnage and bullshit happened...not because of something realistic...but because the Grey lady, for no reason, was a cryptic dumbass. That is my problem. While it'd be hard to swallow, I'd have accepted most of what happened in this chapter if there was an ACTUAL reason, in the story, as to why they weren't able to be told where the diadem was. but there wasn't. The only reason was solely because YOU wanted it that way. And it's your story, fine, but at the very least, there should be a damn good reason WHY, in the story itself, things happen the way they do. It should never...EVER be just because you, the author, want it to happen that way. because then it breaks the immersion of the reader, if something happens solely for the sake of you, the author, having it happen that way. *sighs* To be honest? I'm sorry, but this, this just is too much. You killed off Sirius and had the Ministry fall DESPITE the preparations they had already made, despite the warnings they had. That just...no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm done. Thanks for what was a pretty entertaining story up to this point, but after this? Just nope. It's not worth it. It really isn't.

Sorry to hear that, but again, it is obvious to us the readers where the diadem is, but not to them. The Grey Lady can be cryptic if she wants as she’s dead and has nothing to lose, it’s up to our heroes to find the answer. Sorry you feel it’s not worth it, thanks for reading as long as you did.

Redplayer1998: Please tell me it's a trick sirius can't be dead not after 200 chapters of building his character please no

Dutchie: Oh man Sirius died, bummer! Still a great story.

Whiton: Hey I’m a bit late but I wanted to say happy belated birthday. I love this story it’s fun it’s sad it’s thought provoking and is just a wonderful thing to read. Hope this finds you well and hope you keep writing.

AkashiyaHyrule: What the... this can't be it. What's the point of creating all that military platoons, and gathering allies-if the Ministry are just going to fall so fast? This feels waaay to early for this story plot to occur. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully you got a plan that works, and it's believable. It's also in my opinion that if Sirius Black's "death" is true (hope it's not), Zacharias should not be with anyone else or find someone else to replace him. I suspect you might do something of that nature. You haven't shy away from all the random romances that occurs, even in minor characters. Don't think I haven't notice your tendencies to ship characters! Anyways, it would be annoying, weird, not the same, awkward, and off-putting. I hope that will never happen. But then again, this your AU, so you have the final say on what you want to implement. I invested a lot of my time in this piece of fanfic, so I don't wish for it be ruined by very disagreeable choices (it's all subjective, of course). I mean no disrespect, as I know writing is a tough pastime, and you deserve to be commended for the amount of time you put into your AU. So, good luck. You deserve your break, and hopefully things will be explained Chapter 220! P.S: He's really dead, isn't he? I guess I would have to expect the death of Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown (at least in the movies), Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Dobby, etc, etc. P.S. Why the hell am I just naming character deaths?

Guest: There . Are . No . Words. Saz J

Guest: I, like so many other readers here, have absolutely loved the changes you have made to the story of Harry & Sirius - it has been a wonderful story that we have looked forward to reading every week. However, as much as I love your story, I am upset and disappointed that you had this last chapter play out the way it did. You have, for 218 chapters, written about great changes and strengths for Harry, all the others, and especially Sirius. To have this last chapter happen almost like the original version (book & movie) is a bit of a let-down to your earlier chapters. I will still look forward to reading your story, but maybe without the enthusiasm I have had this past year.

KittenWithAnAx: damn it! I'm crying! Why do I always hope that Sirius survive? even when I watch the movie I hope he don't die! I hate and I love you! yes A break is need! let us mourn in peace! my baby died! and I know that in two weeks I will be back! because I'm too curious and I love how you write! I will still mourning Sirius but I will be back... anyway I will go cry in the shower! have a nice two week break! (and Happy Birthday!)

Blitz90: Hello Breannie ! First of all, I wanna say that your story is awesome ! I really like many of the change that you bring to the HP world! Congrats on that ! Now, about chapter 219, nice chapter all around but I felt that the training they got change nothing but maybe because of the stress to fitgh Death Eater explain it to... maybe you can show me the light on this ? Second, the death of Sirius... I must say that I am disapointed about that. I know that you said in the beginning that it will be ultimately a Hinny story but for me, Sirius was the heart and soul of you fiction. Lets hope that he is just in shock or king of a coma !

Qarz: You put a lot of effort into this, writing so many words is nothing to sneeze at and it shows dedication. However, you don't seem to understand that actions have reactions. If you make changes in Canon then the whole story has to change to make any modicum of sense. You didn't do that and the more than 1.5m words are a waste since it led to the same place and somehow things are even worse than in said Canon. I truly pity those who read this huge story just to be disappointed.

nesciamema: Kinda disappointed by Harry's shoddy fighting since they've all been training for a while, the only one who seemed to be thinking strategically was Ginny before she was taken out. Hoping Zee doesn't miscarry and fights for the babies rights as heir to the Blacks. No way in hell should any Malfoy hold the title with what just happened.

goldenone: thank you for posting this on my birthday it was a great gift but also HOW COULD YOU IMA CRY

aj613: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I was hoping Sirius would be spared holy shit oh my god whyyy? Amazingly written as always, BUT WHY?! THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND HARRY CALLED HIM DAD I—

Rufus777: I understand why you had to kill Sirius. But it still makes me sad. Well written as always. I've been a fan since chapter one. I had forgotten about the Dursley stuff. Good on you to remind everyone of those memories. Keep up the awesome -rufus

kyle.grimm90: I am so sad that Sirius died again... I was really hoping he would survive this time. I love you story is so addictive but I wish that would have gone different. I was so excited he didn’t go through the veil I was jumping for joy and then wammm he died. I won’t stop reading but it killed me when he died.

Haillie: WHAT! OH COME ON!

yunkol76: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for the present! Now time to enjoy another GREAT chapter

coloredwords: First things first. A very happy birthday to you. I hope you have (had) a wonderful day. Second I wish you no riot reviews for your birthday. As much as I want to know what happens next, I respect you too much to shout and riot. But what a chapter! Damn. When Peter fell through the curtain I thought for a second Sirius would be safe. But alas. My last hope lies within some time turner or time room miracle. And all of a sudden we skipped right to the beginning of DH. I'm so curious to see what happens next. Have fun writing and enjoy your two weeks off. I will be here, waiting patiently.

Fruitcake49: I would rather this entire chapter be a nightmare. Why do Sirius and Harry always get the short dirty end of the stick? Such terrible childhoods and Sirius has to die leaving Harry alone. I gotta tell you if anyone other than a character in a story were put under this much pain and unhappiness they would crack and cease to function. As much as I like this story, Harry needs Sirius. I'm tired of people killing him off.

Steelcode: NO NO NO NO NO! HE WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED...HE HAS KIDS! WHAT ABOUT HARRY'S KIDS! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS' FUTURE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE PLEASE!

X.pix.X: Happy birthday, and great chapter

Undead Gothic Princess: you are mean and a god all at once! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this, then took a sigh of relief when pettigrew died cuz I thought "hey, Sirius will be fine now, he survived!" then wham! I dont think he's really dead dead though. they'll either be a way so that it was polyjuice or maybe they use a time turner. something better happen so that he just appears through the front door/hospital wing and is like "whys everyone so down when my hansome face is here?!" please let it be true, otherwise I dont think I can go on in this cruel world xxx

HarryPotterLover2422: Such an amazing chapter! I have enjoyed reading this story for quite some time now and look forward to each new chapter. I am so sad with what happened to Sirius, but I am looking forward to what’s to come! I loved the Lucius called Theo his son that was amazing! I think one of my favorite things about this story, other than how amazing it is, is how you humanize especially the Malfoy family in terms of Draco and Theo. Amazing as always! Happy belated birthday! Can’t wait for more! ️

Leo: Happy Birthday! I was so excited to see that you have written this chapter, until I read it, I can't believe you've hit us with the double whammy. This chapter both made me cry and amazed at your incredible writing skills. I hope you carry on and finish this story. However, most importantly, please, please please, please, puppy eyes please can you post the chapter. I know you said you won't but imagine puppy eyes, you know you can't say no to that. Keep us the brilliant work.

I am imagining puppy eyes, but no, I’m sorry.

GoldenPotterFan: Chapter 219 and the first time I am commenting. Started reading this story between Christmas and New Year 2018 and read all chapters up to then by the time I went back to work. Since then I have waited for updates every week. Somehow, I don't believe that Sirius is dead. Just a feeling I have. I also think Lucius might be working against Voldemort while still not quite working for the Order. I would not be surprised if he saves Sirius somehow. I cannot wait for another update. PS Happy Birthday, I hope you had a great day :)

devonleney27: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the gift of this chapter, sorry I didnt get you anything!

DoodleBug78: OMFG cannot believe that! Really?!

witchyromy: mmmm i would have thought that with the time living in the magical world, and all the extra training harry has done, with sirius and remus and mischa and the rest of the group as well in the extra defense lessons that this would have gone better, they almost only used stupify and some 1st year spells. The whole thing is 80% the same as the original... i have to say i am a bit disappointed.

Sorry to hear that, but I kept what I needed to keep in there for a reason and I hope you will stick around to see that, but if not, well thanks for reading.

Guest: Welp, I’m crying. I’ve been following this story for a while, and honestly didn’t expect to be so upset about Sirius’ death, again. You’ve done wonderful work at recreating this moment. There are so many tiny complexities in this rendition and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Hoping zee’s fall didn’t hurt those babies. Thank you for your work. ️

snowball0709: Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day:) Now to the story.. HOW COULD YOU KILL SIRIUS? This story is all about his second chance! And the wedding, the twins... come on, siriusly! I really hope you have something up your sleeve and that he miraculously lives somehow. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Lolikiano: I'm so excited you posted early! I can live with the cliffhanger as an exchange! Your stories have inspired me to write my own fanfiction and I can't thank you enough for that! I'm looking forward to your next update in two weeks! P.S. I love the "Surprise" pregnancy (which i TOTALLY called when Zee got ill!) I can't wait to read Harry's reaction!

Maggie1874: I'm so sad and disappointed that Sirius died. I was really hoping he'd live in your story.

Krazyasibe: Happy birthday! But why would you do that! I love Sirius!

alix33: No need for anyone to shoot Nott senior in his undersized wanker, Ginny will just have bat bogeys coming out of it rather painfully (and satisfactorily for us readers) in a jiffy. Dumbles had sweet fanny adams to do with the six being able to turn into animaguses. I like Lady Godiva's way of dealing with Death Eaters far better than I do any of the light side's humans' only effective for a couple of seconds stupefying. That vile bitch Bellatrix killed Sirius! I wonder which charm was used on the statue which made it keep Harry away from Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior.

wheezing-reader: Happy Birthday! Your story is probably one of my all-time favorite fics! Saying that WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! No. This is not okay. I'm not okay with this.

Josh: Can't believe you killed Sirius! Hope something miraculous is going to happen. This is supposed to be about "A Second Chance" for him, so he needs to be alive!

Menna Taha: Happy birthday! But still how fucking dare you

jmdaz44: I know Sirius canon-ly dies in the fifth book but I was hoping you’d spare us somehow, especially after the proposal and pregnancy. Instead you were just fattening us up to be slaughtered. You’re cruel. I love the story and your writing but it hurts. It hurts. I truly hate your Bella. I should have waited to read this until this evening because now I feel like my whole day is ruined and it is just starting. I hope you’ve got something feel-good planned because I’m pretty down on this right now. I guess that parallels where we are in the story; things are getting real and nothing is for certain anymore. Hope is a dangerous thing.

alyson3il: First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day, and short hiatus to get everything straight! Second of all, WHHHHYYYYYY?! WHY? Why? Y? y? WHHYYYY! I thought Sirius would be SAFE, you lured us into security with Peter, but then it just HAD to happen. I got my hopes up that it wouldn't be him, he had Zee, he had the twins on the way, HE WAS GONNA GET MARRIED! I get that things happen, BUT THIS THING DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN, or maybe it did. You're the author, you have a plan in place, and you know what you're doing. I'll just be hurt for the next two weeks.

Miss Elyon: 1) Happy birthday dear ! All good for you! 2) Thad Nott - It was too late! (I loved that Lucy killed this son of a troll) And Wormtail ... I'm sure you will be very well received in hell! 3) Bella ... fucking crazy bitch ... something will come to you and it won't be pretty! 4) More importantly - You made me cry so fucking hard with Sirius. I went into depression until you post again. I truly love your story (although it makes me cry like a baby!). The pain at his death was more brutal than the book. I know you have something planned (I hope) and I will be reading (with a sniffling nose) the next chapter! To cure this chapter I'll read the whole story again and cry all over again ... I think I like to suffer ... kkkk See you in the next chapter ;)

chefke: o.m.f.g. omfg. I'm freaking out

xcherry91x: OMG NOOOOOO! I was hoping that Sirius wouldn’t die. I cried when I read that. The babies! They gots no daddy

SuperBossy: Not happy at all.

rolly21: I can’t believe you killed Sirius. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t.

LilyBlack18: I was so not expecting that. I was sure Sirius wouldn't die . My god, reading his death again was pure torture. At least Harry still have Zee, Remus, etc. I'm so sad, though... I really thought you wouldn't keep that part of the story, and you gave me false hope when Peter died x)

greg.is.wilson: You are evil.

Mutt N. Feathers: Yes my dear, I do trust authors. Needless pain is never inflicted by them. I made readers think I killed Sirius too, but instead had other plans. You love him too much. I live in hope. Mutt

supersandman86: Oh man! Not Sirius! He just got his life to perfection. Loving son, a fiance and a child on the way. Nice to see Wormtail redeem himself by shoving zee out of the way and Thaddeus got what he deserved. Now we just need to give Crouch and Bellend Lestrange pain that even they can't endure. This was always the dark point in the whole franchise in my opinion, where Harry felt the most hopeless. Let's see how it goes.

Sirius black411: You are so cruel...so so soooo cruel. They were going to get married...have twins and raise them.. How could you?! I can't imagine what Zee must be going through but she is still there for Harry. She will be a great mother.

Wodril: This Sirius didn't really seem like the guy to be done in while taunting. Not being hit by the killing spell, and the whole "he'll writhe in pain as he dies" spiel makes it a bit more uncertain. I never really appreciated him coming back to life after the dementors, and kinda hope, for the sake of the story, he'll stay dead this time. He will probably show up as an inferi anyway?

Jewels46: Omg... I’m crying! You’ve reduced me to tears. I know it was a very real possibility, but I hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fruition even though I understand the significance. I do really like how you wrote his death though, a much more fitting end. The bit you added with Peter had led me into a false sense of security that the lovable mutt would be safe. I just can’t even right now. Wonderful chapter. I’m going to cry some more and eagerly await the next one

Dianne: Yes I need atleast 2 weeks to emotionally reconstruct myself after this bombshell of a chapter. Deep breaths in and out. Curious about how you've brought a 7th year canon event now itself. I'm not sure I even took in everything coz I was crying so hard and couldn't read clearly, was reading this at clg and I surprised everyone by suddenly crying out loud and sobbing :'( and everyone was baffled when I said one of my most favourite characters just died painfully and I was crying for that, but they don't understand the power of reading or the power of HP thankyou for an early update and kudos you're an amazing writer!

purplevictory: That wasn't nice. I mean, happy birthday and everything, but did your present to yourself really have to be the torture of your fans? I know Sirius will be fine, I just don't know how you're planning to get there. Thank you for the early chapter. But, when your birthday celebrations are over you really ought to write "I will stop being mean to my readers" 50 times. You don't have to use a blood quill.

Write lines as punishment? I don’t have time for that, I need to write the next chapters.

xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Noooooo I can’t believe that after all this you still killed Sirius! When his life was finally all good with babies on the way!

eternal king of fire: wow this chapter was a tear jerkier poor sirus and zee

speedsONEandONLY: No. Nope. No. I refuse to see this as a real chapter. None of this happened. I mean what was the point of letting them be happy, of getting rid of the Horcrux early. Only to fucking destroy them. To make him want to sacrafice, kill himself anyway. This chapter didn't happen. This is a "what couldve been" I doesn't make any fucking sense. Nor does it for the narrative. So, No. I refuse to think, Believe, You could be so heartless to characters/people you love. That you made us love. I don't see anyway how the story Could really go on, if this chapter actually happened. It reads more like the last Twilight movie from when Aro rips off Carlisles head. Sorry, but no.

Sorry, I guess I’m heartless. Comparing me to Twilight though, that’s heartless.

Ari Black-18: I know that this is a war, but please let Sirius escape death again, don't do this please, please make this better, tell me that Remus and Tonks somehow save him, tell me that even tho he is in bad condition he's still alive, don't leave his twins and Harry without a father, don't live Zee without her love, don't rip away Remus's brother from him, give him a second chance from the original story, let him be there with Harry at the end, the world it's already too shitty for it even to suck in a fanfic. Call me naive or delusional, but I actually believe that this is not over, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do this, your story it's to damn good to lose such a character just like that, so I know you are going to fix it, you're going to pull a surprise under your sleeve and make us love it so much. I believe in you, I mean you wouldn't just kill Sirius like that, not this Sirius, your Sirius. I trust you, I know you wouldn't do this. Please enjoy your break, chill, eat a lot of snacks, maybe even party a little, and then, please, bring our uncle Siri back.

Seriuslypadfoot: Hey Breanie, very well written as per usual. I hope Sirius isn’t actually dead, as this story is one of the few Sirius and Harry fics that I have thoroughly enjoyed and don’t want his character to end this way. Powerful moment with Malfoy in this chapter, but I wish he showed more backbone and fully went against the death eaters like his family wants. Again, hope Sirius doesn’t end here, the death will really hurt the story in my opinion. But this is your story so write it how you will. Thanks for your hard work!

Thank you! Malfoy doesn’t have much of a backbone, but I do have a plan for him. I’m sorry you feel that Sirius’ death hurt the story, I think it’s important for what’s next.

DetroitNate: A review? I hated this chapter. Oh the writing is great as usual, but what happened in it? I hated, loathed, detested it. I hope justice comes and comes quicker than Hinny did in this story cause it is getting too difficult to read of how these vicious bastards seem to get away with anything they want. JKR did two things I can't stand in canon kill off Sirius and Fred and now I'm wondering if this story will follow her on that pattern... I hope not, I really do.

Thank you and I promise, justice will come quicker than Hinny -- as in it won't take another 197 chapters, maybe 196, just kidding!

Paola1991: So is this death for real or is he coming back? I mean you tricked us once. I guess i kind of assumed you’d never kill him off because it was kind of a sirius fix it story? Where he gets a better life? This took me by surprise. Its primarily why i hate book 5. I thought someone else was gonna die instead. Hes the one character i would never kill i guess. Especially with zee having his kids! Not sure how i feel.

Guest: can i honestly beg something? can you please bring back sirius alive? please? i know u wont do it.. u have a plan with ur story... but as a big big fan of ur story im really really begging will u please?

Queen Raja: Wow. And I thought the book’s death was heartbreaking! Seriously, bravo. I don’t cry easily, and this chapter made me UGLY cry! Waiting until two weeks will be very hard, but I’m glad you’re able to take some much deserved time for yourself and Dusk. Happy Birthday, Breanie!

Maisie: how and why could you do this to mee im cryinggg please say its looking better in the next chapter

midnitewanderer: Dumbass went and reread it. Not gonna lie, it was a brilliant chapter but I am still this close to hunting your ass down and forcing to rewrite Sirius back in. Where’s my angry emoji when I need it. I can’t help but feel that you wrote Zee the way you have specifically for this chapter. Not only does she come into their lives and becomes the best pseudo mom ever written in any HP fanfic, she basically adopts Harry into her entire family. Sure there’s stories out there with the Weasley’s treating him as one of their own but not like this. ZEE’S ENTIRE FAMILY ADOPTS HARRY. Your sneaky ass has been prepping us from the beginning of her intro! He calls them all Grandad/Grandpa, Grandmama/Grandma, etc. so that eventually he sees that he’s never truly alone. Then enter the Weasleys, McGonagall, Rem&Tonks, Andi&Ted, Dumbles, Nev, Lu, Mione, he’s surrounded by so much love. I just know the next chapter is going to be hard for me seeing as I’m a crybaby but damn it to hell, I can’t wait. 2 whole weeks. What am I gonna do?

Thank you. I guess I was kind of sneaky like that, wasn’t I?

Zacnelson0628: Breanie... I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen. Still really sad though. I hope you kill of bellatrix in a spectacular manner.

I will do my best -- I do know exactly how it will happen and who will do it.

notthatchhavi: Oh, wow! I don't know what to say! This was a extremely well-written chapter When Lucius said that Theo was his son...it was such a moment I went ooooooohhh Well other then that..I cried I literally cried when Sirius died and yes I am still in denial I hope atleast Remus and Tonks will be okay.. Harry needs some support from one father When Sirius died.. it broke my heart.. Harry calling Sirius Dad.. and Sirius saying that Harry was the best thing ever happened to him I feel that he was not saying that just to Harry.. it was to James too because the Potters were the best thing which happened to Sirius I feel really bad for Zee...being pregnant with your fiancée's children and then him dying is not an easy thing to go through But the most importantly...this chapter made me cry I have read many fanfictions.. but i have never cried.. they might have been super good.. but has never made me cry I think the ability for a writer to make the reader both and laugh and cry is extremely important and difficult...I think by this story you have proven yourself as a damn good writer

Having Harry call him dad was vital and every time I tried to change it, I came back to it.

josht1987: Just know, that I am very mad at you you right now. We'll see what happens after the next one. An extremely well written chapter, but... You know what you did.

Daerwin45: not Sirus oh please he is so important it was going so good im sorry i am just a fan and it has been such a great story i did not mean to question your reason. i just was enjoying harrys and Sirus' relationship.

PotterBlondie: Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting Sirius to die! Or for anything to go this badly in one chapter! I hope he gets to escape death again? Pretty please? I hope you had a wonderful Birthday!

midnitewanderer: Nope. I’m done. I’m done. I AM FUCKING DONE! I will have no more toilet tissue by the end of the night. My chicken is currently burning on the stovetop. My emotions are freaking fried right now. Not only was he... UGH! I can’t. I literally can’t right now. I know this is fiction and whatnot, but my heart is hurting. How in the hell did I get so emotionally invested in this damned story?! Now, I’m going to remove my burning chicken and cry in a corner.

scrappy8: OMG what a chapter Poor Sirius is gone

Covley Hatake: Please let Sirius some how had lived. I like cheered when Pettigrew went in the veil instead and then that. You like ripped my heart out with Sirius. Like come on. Still good story but wanted Sirius to be there for the happy ending. I picture Harry though being the best big brother to those babies and protecting the hell out of Zee and the babies. Betting she tells Harry soon as well. Also question if he is dead what does that mean for them claim the Black title? With out him to claim them they would be seen as illegitimate and as the deal with Malfoy was made he could take it? curious on that one.

akshutalankar: well this is a really bad chapter to be posted on birthday... plz give us next soon... make Sirius alive pretty please

shooter124: O my god, I am crying. Please don’t take Sirius from us, Zee needs him and so does Harry! However that death scene was crazy good. I’m hoping that you have this elaborate plan as to why Sirius had to fake his death or something. Please please please say he is still alive, Sirius and Zee have not finished their story yet and Remus needs his best friend. This is my favourite story I have read on FF, you are a fantastic writer and I get excited every time you post!

Wolf's scream: Nice set of Bat-Bogeys, Miss Weasley! Yeah, a ticked-off wolverine is NOT something I'd prefer to cross. Greengrass is there? That's ... something I was not expecting. Yeah, Theo's advice to smash the Prophecy seems pretty sound to me. (With the possible caveat that certain DEs might lose whatever semblance of control that they have...) Seriously, Hermione? That's not a "baby." And in any case, Petrification is not intrinsically harmful: it merely decreases the probability that the Petrified one will pose a danger to himself or others. Sheesh. Somebody needs to get her priorities sorted. :-) I'm a little surprised that the DEs that trapped the teenagers in the Brain Room were using less-than-lethal spells. Granted, I'm rather glad that they did, but I don't understand whys. Well..! Lucy IS good for something, I guess... It's rather a pity that Harry hadn't smashed the Prophecy and grabbed another as a decoy. :-} Oh! What would happen if Harry were to chuck the Prophecy through the arch...? Ah - excellent move, Lady G! :-) Remus was dueling Dolohov? But Harry had Petrified Dolohov just a bit ago... maybe another DE released him, or the spell wore off? So - the Rat did something useful before departing... BTW, a fairly effective dueling technique might be to blast the floor/ground out from under one's opponent. Or merely make it incapable of supporting the opponent's weight. Especially if one is in a structure and not on the bottom floor. Well, at least there's no ambiguity at all regarding Sirius's fate. :-/ Well, laughing at Bella is a pretty good way to ensure that she's even more off-balance, yeah. It's good that Dumbledore addresses Tom by his given name (vs. the nom de guerre that he made up)

Guest: You cant do this Sirius can't be dead! Please let him live! P.S. happy Birthday Seriously though bring Sirius back.

dhnysports88: for the love of god tell me they planned to fake his death, DON'T DO THIS TO US

minerdude: Wow this is a great story, even if you killed Sirius, although with the next chapter I hope we discover thinking he was dead was part of the fog of war. If Sirius is dead it was truly well written to get our guard down by sending Peter though the veil

Old-fashionedAnglophile: What. The. ACTUAL. HELL?! Are you trying to destroy us? And you're making us wait for it? Damn your excellent and captivating writing. I'll be waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.

Thank you (I think).

littlehughesy: WHY? Why must you keep killing off characters that I love!? It's like Game of Thrones all over again! I get that it is canon for Sirius to die at the Ministry, but for fuck's sake can't Harry just have a little less suffering for once? For the love of God, if you kill Remus and Tonks in this story, I am done. Just done. I cannot handle my emotions right now. Okay, venting over. As much as I don't like it, your story is still fantastic. And hey, cheers for the early update and happy birthday!

Atea1793: You... are... absolutely... evil... YOU KILLED SIRIUS, KILLED DEADALUS DIGGLE, LEFT ZAHIRA A PREGNANT WIDOW BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT MARRIED, MAY HAVE LEFT HARRY AN ORPHAN AGAIN, AND HAD THE MINISTRY FALL A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER THAN IN CANON?! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE AS SICK IN THE HEAD AS VOLDEMORT IS! Excuse me while I spend these next two weeks gathering a mob to go after your twisted ass. The Death Eaters will seem like playground bullies when we come for you...

Guest: Omg. Omg. You actually killed Sirius. I cried. I honestly would have rather see Remus die, but maybe that’s what makes this story stronger and more intense. I definitely need 2 weeks to process this. Poor Zee and poor Harry.

lcwintersoldier: Goddamit how could you kill Sirius :'(

LifeonEarth: Oh come on you hand to bring Marauder into this. This hurts.

I’m sorry, but I thought Marauder deserved to be in Harry’s thoughts.

White Squirrel: Why does everyone feel the need to kill off Sirius even when there's good reason for events to play out differently? Honestly, this whole section felt like it wasn't up to your usual standards. You copied so much from the book, even when they had different people there and a different plan. It would have made more sense and wouldn't have been that hard to choreograph a different battle sequence.

I felt that it was important to keep it similar which I will explain later on, but of course you’re entitled to your opinion.

love reading20613: Oh god no please no

alistark94: What an ending! I gotta say I'm suprised you still killed off Sirius. Great story by the way!

Anixara: Wow, I find this story just in time for the latest chapter to be THAT. God damn it. Now I have to figure out if waiting for the next chapter is even worth it with how much that fucked with my emotions.

Breaniefan: This was so unrepresentative of your characters to just shove them back into JK's exact plot. This Harry would never have been so impulsive, Ginny and Theo would have escaped, the well trained Order would have been quicker on the mark and more effective. This was just lazy writing, taking so much of the original story and just shoehorning it in - I'm so disappointed! Also why the fuck would you kill Sirius? The whole point of fanfic is to FIX those stupid character deaths from the original, not go and do it again. I've followed this story from the start and loved it, but if Sirius is still dead next chapter... You've lost a reader.

I’m sorry that I’ve lost a reader over this, but as I said, I knew he would die from the first chapter. Harry would be that impulsive because Ginny was kidnapped and there's no way he wouldn't try to save her. She and Theo may have been able to escape but not unscathed. I don’t believe that fan fiction is made to “fix” stupid character deaths because the original story is amazing and I’m getting the chance to play with the characters we all love so much and Sirius had a second chance on life and he lived it.

Adelite: AAAAH. aaAAAH. I came here for a BETTER WORLD and you killed SIRIUS BLACK of ALL PEOPLE and just when HE LEARNED HE IS HAVING TWINS?!?? I swear to god AaaaaahahahAH the original didn’t hurt this bad I read 219 chapters in 2 weeks just to be welcomed with this I am absolutely gonna riot and also what happened to Tonks? P.S if you kill Rem, Tonks and Fred in the battle of Hogwarts I will personally pee your pants

Pegg7: I can not believe it!!It has been chapter that i'm saying something bad was about to happen, but not this bad!!!!!The only think i can do now is wait and speculate: you had wormtail die through the veil and not Padfoot, so, maybe, there is a chance, i have hope! By the way, the chapter itselff is good, nothing less to say... I'm going to have a lot of speculation as how the thing are going to be next, so i'll dread this 2 next weeks Love you (a little less) as always

lovelyellie: that really hurt my feelings damn

phoenixmaiden13 (Lady Phoenix): I so hate this chapter, yet it was so good. Still can't believe you killed off Sirius, I thought he was safe for a minute but I guess not. At least they will have a body to bury. I'm going to go cry now.

They will have a body to bury and I hope that chapter makes you all feel the emotion as much as I did writing it.

MrToddWilkins: But he is still alive! The blood-Harry’s right!

Bosma18: Happy birthday but why did you have to kill Sirius he was one of my most favorite characters he and zee where supposed to marry and live happily ever after I wanted Sirius to die of old age while being surrounded by his grand children

Jmcglynn522: You killed him.... you killed him... he just found out that Zee was preggers, with twins(FYI: Taking antibiotic potions and birth control potions = Twins. Mine just turned 20.).And there’s no do over this time....no time turner.... just... you killed Sirius Black.I love your story, I’m bawling hysterically right now, but I don’t like you very much at the moment.... you killed him....why??? (Happy parts: Ginny preforming the “bat bogey hex” on Thaddeus’s dick for Theo! Lucius killing Thaddeus for hurting Theo, “his son!”. Ron touching “Uranus”. Lady G not dying. Zee not dying. And Pettigrew’s death was to kind.) And Happy Birthday!!!(Even though I may be traumatized for life.)

Pettigrew’s death may have been too kind but I think it was an important turning point for him in that he saved Zee for Sirius.

LordSmidgeon: I'm hoping so much all this was pushed in his head by Voldemort after the brain room to mess with his psyche. I'm hoping he comes to and they are just getting him away from the veil. Or it was all what he saw in the veil. Like honestly, if you have to have someone die please dont kill Sirius (at least not yet).

Siriuslover: Im in denial. He’s not dead. How could you kill Sirius!! He was the main reason I’ve loved reading this!! Ugh please take it back I’m so sad

kellykat1889: Your evil.

RiverFord: I think I’m going to need two weeks just to recover from this. I’ve absolutely loved this story so far but you literally just killed off my favorite character and I can’t even...

archiveScrapper: Happy birthday! I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, but I finally felt like I had something to say (plus wishing you a happy birthday is important). I'm actually weirdly... proud? of you for keeping Sirius's death at this point in the story. In the books it's kind of the point at which Harry has to officially grow up, and realize that even though he's a kid, he's the center of a really vicious war where his actions have very real consequences. And he has no one left to fully protect him either. Even in a fic where Sirius matters a whole lot more, and Harry is gonna be a thousand times more hurt by his death, that moment of change, and of Harry accepting his inevitable place in this fight is really important? So I just wanted to say that as much as I'm really sad about Sirius being gone, because I really did enjoy him getting to be happy for once, i think it's an important moment for the story and I'm really happy that it's one that you kept even in a version of this story that's a lot happier than the original story ever was. I've been wondering how you were gonna handle this moment for a long time now, and although I'm definitely gonna go cry about Sirius's death now, I'm really happy with what you decided to do.

xXQueenOfDragonsXx: NONONONONONONOSIRIUS! I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW BUT I CANT ‘T

TheOneWithWritersBlock: Please tell me this is a dream. Please tell me that Sirius didn't actually die. Please tell me that the ministry hasn't actually fallen. Please tell me it's all one big giant nightmare.

leflemmeenrose: Happy birthday!A break is definitely needed. I'm gonna spend it crying until you upload the next chapter haha. Take your time.

Zerius: Yay! Pettigrew's dead!I am struggling so hard not to say I hate you. I don't actually, but why did you feel the need to kill off Sirius?! He was Harry's family, he had Zee, he was in love, he had such an amazing life and now... Now he's never going to see Harry and Ginny get married, he won't see his children grow up... And Dedalus Diggle? What was the meaning of his death? Why did he have to die? And so cruelly... I love the new battle though. I've got a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next. Please heal Sirius! Maybe he's not actually dead? Maybe there's a cure? Please say there's a cure! Again, amazing job! Update soon! I love it!

LaureWithAnE: I don’t really like you at the moment. But, happy birthday! How is it, after 17 years, the death of Sirius Black still makes me cry?

PurpleLotus (Person of Earth): Why did you have to kill Sirius? I just can't even process everything that happened. You made me cry and my heart is broken for Harry and Zee and the twins. I don't know what is going to happen and it's killing me. The ministry fallen already...I have no words for the desolation I feel. You have emotionally annihilated me, so congratulations. I understand the need for a break, I will be waiting impatiently for the next update. Happy Birthday and Happy Writing!

#a second chance #breanie #a second chance spoilers #harry potter fanfiction #fanfiction review

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crowsent · 4 years

Note

👶,⭐,💘, and💻. Love you!!

thank you for ask anon! writer ask game is here if yall wanna send in something. still taking asks for these btw

👶- advice for new writers =

yall this is hella fucking generic but PRACTISE. theres a reason almost literally every writer on tumblr gives the advise of “practise practise practise” and that reason is it works. practise doesnt mean ‘oh just write bc youll automatically get better over time’ it means ‘write bc if you dont, you wont figure out what you need to improve.’ did yall know that i literally had no sentence variation in the past? i started every sentence with [character name] or [character pronoun] and i didnt realise until i was 15/16 and i only realised bc i started writing a lot.

i think there’s a fear of failure with new writers. there’s this lingering doubt of “what if its not good?” and boy howdy i will answer that question right fucking now. it wont be good. when i compare my current work to my earlier work, my earlier work sucked fucking shit. i spelled soldier with a fucking ‘j’ and i had no idea what the hell a point of view was. and thats okay. whoever tells you that youre going to perfect writing is a fucking liar. there is no perfecting writing. 20 years from now, imma look at the writing from today and im gonna think it sucks shit. writing is a process. its a craft. you get better and better over time and the way you get better is by experimenting w different styles, different genres, different ways of writing.

and the only way you can experiment and improve is through practise. in video games, especially rpgs (which are my favourite kind of video games), you struggle in the early game. youre at a low level, you dont have good equipment, you have a hard time moving to the next area. but the only way you progress is by grinding, gaining levels, and getting stronger. same w writing. if youre a level 1 writer, just starting out, no idea what to do, just experiment. fuck around a bit. write crackships, write rarepairs, write niche self-indulgent reader/character fics. at the end of the day, you should write for yourself. its good and cool if other people like your stuff and validate all your hard work, but at the end of the day, the one who should enjoy your writing the most is yourself.

you WILL mess up and you WILL struggle, but thats the only way you can improve. i struggle with pacing the most. still do. but others might have pacing down pat and struggle instead with word choice or pov or something else. cant figure out where you need to improve if you dont write, so just practise and worry about all the fine print later

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration? =

this is definitely not universal, but i just sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate. cycle through all my emotions and thoughts and filter them out. then i just toss everything out the damn window. like. id just meditate for a while, focus on breathing, on experiencing the present, picture a field and a tree and myself and breathe. thoughts fly by and i let them happen but dont focus on it.

meditating gives me some semblance of emotional control bc i normally have none, and it gives me kind of this space. this safe space that only exists for me and me alone. so i use that space to let the world drift away. just me and my thoughts and sometimes, those thoughts end up being good writing ideas. but i usually meditate for a set amount of time. like 15 minutes or 30 minutes so i dont write until i finish meditating.

then when i get out of my headspace, i open up my laptop and see what i remember. thinking too hard about something causes it to muddy up. same with art. in digital art, artists flip the canvas to refresh their eyes, see if there’s anything weird or wonky about the illustration that they normally dont see bc theyve gotten used to it. flipping the canvas is like giving our eyes a jumpstart and lets us see what we could do better. in traditional art, its turning the canvas this way and that or repositioning yourself. meditating is like that. a break. a cleanse. a kind of pause where you dont think about anything and just try to process what you already have. you relax and kind of let yourself float down a river of thoughts and sometimes, a fish would jump out of that river and youd go “hey, thats a good idea. i should try that” so when you get out of the river, youre refreshed and ready to go.

same principle with showers. more ideas come to you in the shower when you dont have anything to write with bc youre not thinking about it. youre not focusing on finding inspiration or motivation so ideas naturally flow through you. you know that feeling when you want to do x then someone comes along and says “hey you should do x” and suddenly all motivation to do x leaves? same w your brain. focus too much on “i should be writing” or “i want inspiration” and its never gonna come. just let things happen. at least, thats how i do it. some people might get inspiration by reading or watching tv. everyones different so if thats not what works out for you, dont feel pressured to try my method

💘- what’s your favorite AU? Least favorite? =

magic au. specifically fantasy au set in like a pre-modern era. shows like avatar where theres all this magic and fantastical beasts and so on and so forth. semi-modern like six of crows and nevernight are great too. i want that magic to be woven into people’s lives. harry potter is okay but there’s like this separation between magic and muggle. there’s this feeling of “magic” but like as a tool. like a spoon or a gun or a shovel. i want magic au’s that are INTEGRATED with the world its set in.

like in atla, earth kingdom people have trains they move with bending while fire nation people have machines powered by heat and steam. both correspond to their bending and makes sense for the world they live in. but if your plot is like harry potter and its less worldbuilding and more action, then there’s this book series called seasons rising (read it. so good) where there’s a bunch of spells but the spells have character. the people using the spells GIVE it character and it feels much more intimate. pokemon does the whole fantasy mixed w reality better. give two trainers the exact same pokemon and by the time that pokemon reaches lvl 50, its gonna have a different moveset, different fight style, etc bc it was shaped by the world and people around it. i like harry potter but tbh it could have been so much better

for the least favourite au, it’s A/B/O i dont like the whole “omegas are only good for breeding hurr durr” and “alphas are violent and aggressive and cant control themselves around omegas” thing and it squicks me out. major squick. i read the original harry potter squick (THAT one. yeah. you know the one) and i still hate a/b/o more. i get why people like it, and there are one or two fics set in a/b/o au that i enjoy reading, but as a whole, i severely dislike a/b/o fics.

the themes are squick, the character dynamics get so messed up, and shipping dynamics (bc a/b/o fics usually have shipping) just get so blown out of proportion. there are so many a/b/o fics that turn ooc or the character interpretations radically change or something else. no hate against a/b/o fans bc yall are amazing for writing/drawing yalls au. there are things that you can only do in this setting and exploring those things can be incredibly fun for people, but for me personally, its not an au i like to visit.

💻- three works of yours that are must reads =

i. dont know what fandom youre in anon or your genre preferences. so ill just rec you one fic for a different fandom each with kind of different genres. ts masterlist is on my side @hufflepuff-deceit and regular fanfic masterlist is on my writing blog @crownonymous

(BNHA) Viper. its my first serious attempt at fanfic in YEARS and its my baby. currently has 7 chapters, i havent updated it in a while bc im hyperfocused on ts rn, but i love it to bits. its just all of my fav bnha fics crammed into one fic. quirkless kind of villain izuku with stain as a mentor as they work together to bring light to the injustices of hero society and where bakugos bullying has visible and long-lasting repercussions? sign me the fuck up. you can read it on ao3 HERE bc its not on tumblr. kind of fast-paced, has a lot more action scenes than anything else ive written. heavy plot-wise but has a lot of humour and comedy to break things up

(Kimetsu no Yaiba) I Pray To God He Hears You. not related to my other kny fic oleander which is a multichap retelling au. iptghhy is a standalone one-shot and kind of a character study on one giyuu tomioka. i love him so much. giyuu is my baby and i adore him. so of course i wrote a sad fic focusing on him. well technically, the fic focuses on giyuu AND his relationships. SPOILERS for chapters 130 and 131 of the manga. focuses mostly on giyuu and sabito, but there’s a fair bit of giyuu and tanjiro and urokodaki. you can read it HERE bc this is also not on tumblr. also deals with heavy things but more emotion-wise since it doesnt have that much of a plot. loss. grief. moving on. survivors guilt. that kind of stuff. very sad. hurt but with comfort, especially at the end.

(Sanders Sides) Logan’s Birthday Fic: Logicality. just what the title says. i wrote 5 different fics and published them all on logans bday but the logicality one received the most feedback and honestly? the cutest of the bunch. its gonna be crossposted onto ao3 but for now, you can read it HERE on my ts sideblog. theres no plot since its literally just domestic and relationship fluff. and puns. patton is in the fic, theres gonna be puns. nothing but good things and warm feelings bc logan deserves it.

thank you so much for such interesting asks anon! i enjoyed answering these. have a lovely day!

#crowsas answers #kny #bnha #sanders sides

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spidey-babe-parker · 5 years

Text

Fragile Line

chapter 5:

oh, holding my breath

Inspired: Beauty and the Beast

Featuring: Bucky Barnes

warnings: angst, tears, sadness, oh and yeah smut happens... finally.

an: So it’s been forever and a day, and I’m sorry about that. There might be one more chapter of this if people like actually want epilogue chapter. Also Infinity War totally didn’t happen in this story for many reasons.

I’m starting almost done with a Drunk Bucky Barnes college au mini series, that I’m trying to finish so that’s going up soon. Oh and the next next fairy tale inspire story is going to be the modern day little mermaid story with Steve Rogers and Bucky is going to pop up in that.

Series Masterlist: links are broken, the series masterlist is in my masterlist. The link is in the bio.

Lydia listened to what Steve has told her to do. She got down to Amsterdam and checked into a hotel with nothing but her duffle bag and purse. She watched as the feud between Iron Man and Captain America played out in front of the world.

After the constant coverage it got to the point, she couldn’t watch it anymore.

She couldn’t believe all of this seemed to be happening over Bucky. Who was being framed for something he didn’t even do.

She went into to town to find a bookstore so she could find a something to reader to keep herself distracted. She avoided seeing newspapers or watching TV. She didn’t want to read the horrible things that everyone was saying about Bucky Barnes. She saw over and over again he was being referred to as the assassin the Winter Soldier. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that some people considered him to be a killer. The man who rescued her who seemed more afraid of himself didn’t seem like the man who would kill people. She knew he had a dark past but she knew he didn’t have any control over who he was or what he did. He wasn’t the monster they were making him out to be.

It had been two weeks since she last saw Bucky, and she missed him. She missed constantly having him around even if they didn’t talk much. She just felt safe being around him and she like his presence. On the fifteenth day they had been apart she opened the door to her hotel and found a flip phone with a text on it. It simply read “meet me at the café rose at 8:30am”. She didn’t have a doubt in her mind that it was Steve finally coming to let her know she could leave. That night she nervously sat around. She was worried Steve was going to tell her something bad happened to Bucky. That night she didn’t get much sleep, she tossed and turned and a dream about being with Bucky again.

She got dressed and headed into town in the early morning. At eight thirty she walked up to Café Rose to find Steve Rogers sitting outside with a baseball had on and sunglasses. Slowly she walked over and sat down across from him. She could tell something was wrong, he just looked sad.

“Morning,” he softly said.

“Morning,” she replied not exactly what else she should say. She hadn’t ever talked to Steve outside of the time Steve found her in Bucky’s apartment.

“Before you ask, he’s safe and hidden away from everyone,” he looked over at the girl who seemed to be on the verge of tears right in front of him.

She let out a soft sigh and nodded her head knowing that him being hidden away was for the best.

“He’s not hurt at all?” she asked knowing there had been a big fight in an airport in Germany.

Steve sighed and her heart dropped at the thought of him being hurt. “He got pretty beat up and his metal arm gotten taken off.”

She gasped and reached up to cover her mouth. She suddenly wanted to cry at the thought that he lost his arm again. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’s fine I took him somewhere where he can get a new arm and he’ll be okay,” Steve sounded so calm and it was making her feel better about the situation.

“Where is he?” she asked.

Steve let out a heavy sigh and looked down at the table that had a coffee sitting in front of him, “Lydia I can’t tell you that unfortunately. I can’t let anyone know where he is. I can only keep him safe if nobody knows where he is.”

She knew he wouldn’t be able to tell her, but there was a part of her that wished he could, “is he still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no he won’t anymore. Where we took him, they’re going to fix him and take away what Hydra put in his mind away.”

Her eyes grew wide and started to brim with tears, “please tell me you’re not gonna wipe him.” She felt bile crawl up her throat at just the thought of someone wiping Bucky again, when he was just getting some of his memories back.

Steve’s own blue eye grew wide as he reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers, “oh god no, I will never let that happen to him again.” He paused for a moment. “Were trying to get him back to being normal Bucky. I don’t want them to ever be able to trigger him again.”

She nodded her head trusting Steve. From what she had read in the last two weeks, Steve and Bucky were childhood best friends. She knew that he cared for Bucky as much as her.

“What happens from here?” she asked knowing that Bucky was never going to be in her life again. It was finally time for her to go home to the states for a while. She just needed to hear what Steve thought she should do.

“I’m going to go into hiding and you should probably leave Europe for a little while. If anyone ask about your time in Romania don’t let anyone know you knew who he was.”

“Okay will do.”

-&-

She had been home back in the states for about two months. She moved back into her parent’s house. When she first came home, they asked her loads of questions of about her time in Romania. She didn’t tell them much other than she worked in a café. She worked on restarting her life back in the states. She had just started working at a coffee shop in her town. Her life was simple and she knew that, but since coming home she felt like something was missing. She knew it probably had to do with the fact she never actually got to say goodbye to Bucky. The last time she saw him was the morning in the safe house after they shared a kiss. She had fallen in love with the man that saved her life, and now here she was having to live her life acting as if she had never met him.

She often heard people talking in the coffee shop about Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. Every time she heard Steve’s name, she would help but listen in at the thought that maybe they might mention Bucky. After everything had originally happened Bucky’s picture was plastered across magazines most of them referred to him as the Winter Soldier one of the deadliest assassins to live. It always made her sick to her stomach reading about him, because she knew the Winter Soldier wasn’t truly Bucky. That was who the people who wiped him turned him into. She hated that people didn’t know the Bucky she knew, and they never really would.

Three years later

Sitting in the kitchen at her parent’s house she was listening to her parents talking about her birthday that was tomorrow. She hadn’t even actually thought about her birthday her mind had seemed to be in other places recently.

“What are your birthday plans Lydia?” her mother asked grabbing her attention.

“What?” she looked up from her coffee that was sitting on kitchen table in front of her.

Her mother gave her an unamused look as she knit her eyebrows together, “Lydia have you even been listening to me or your father?”

“Sorry I zoned out,” she picked up the large cup of coffee and brought it up to her lips. Her eye looked at her mother who gently shook her head at her daughter.

“Did you want to have dinner tonight with us?” she asked her daughter.

Nodding her head, she gave her mother a half smile, “yeah I’m going out tonight with some friends and people from work tonight. So, tomorrow is perfect.”

-&-

Walking into the crowed bar with some friends and coworkers, she couldn’t help but wonder if she made a mistake by going out. She wasn’t ever a person who enjoyed going to crowed bars, and she wasn’t sure why she thought going to one with all her friends to celebrate her birthday would be a good idea.

Standing at the bar next to her friend Allie she was listening to her go on and on about her cousin who she thought would be a great match for Lydia. Allie had been a friend of hers since high school, and she was on a mission to find Lydia a man, even though she had told her often she wasn’t interested in dating. Allie like everyone else had no clue about Lydia’s time with Bucky. She just assumed that Lydia didn’t want to take because of her terrible break up before she left to move to Romania.

“Lydia you and Kyle would get along amazing, why do you at least go on one date with him?” Allie asked before taking a sip of her cranberry and vodka.

“Allie I’m not interested in dating,” she sighed looking down at her drink that was sitting on the bar.

“Come on Lydia one date wouldn’t kill you,” Allie wasn’t ready to give up on getting her friend to go out on a date.

“Allie maybe another time,” she picked up her drink and walked over to the table where the rest the group was sitting.

Allie followed behind her friend, and shouted to the group, “someone buy the birthday a shot we need to get her drunk.”

Lydia did nothing but roll her eyes as she sat down at the table. Moments later some of the group were waving down a waitress to order her a couple shots. She groaned as two shots of tequila were sitting in front of her. Taking both shots, she shook her head as the gold colored liquid slid down her throat.

Soon she was being dragged on to the dance for in the corner of the bar and was dancing with some friends. The gold liquid left her feeling slightly tipsy, few people offered to buy her drinks, but she turned them down not wanting to get drunk. As the clock struck midnight, she said her goodbyes to her friends telling them she couldn’t stay out super late because she had family stuff to do the next morning.

Walking outside she hailed a cab. Luckily the bar she was out wasn’t too far from her apartment. The warm feeling of the alcohol flushed through her system as she walked up to the elevator in the lobby of her apartment building. Clicking the button, the doors to the elevator opened and walked inside alone. Leaning against the wall of the elevator she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have maybe stayed at the bar for another hour, but for some reason she wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate her birthday. As the elevator doors opened as stepped out into the hallway. She saw a man in a hoodie standing in front of her door and she suddenly got nervous, she was tempted to go back to the bar instead of walking up to the man. Before she could even decide what to do a familiar face turned and looked at her.

Her heart jumped at the sight of Bucky standing at her door. Her eyes went wide as her eyes locked onto his icy blue ones. Without even thinking she took off running down the hall towards him. The second she got to him she wrapped her arms around him holding his body close to hers. “Bucky,” she muttered as tears started to slide down her face.

“Lydia,” his metal hand rubbed her back holding on to her.

As she held onto him tightly afraid if she let go of him, he would disappear again. Her body shook gently as she held on to him.

Pulling away from him slowly she looked up at him with watery eyes. She was still in a state of disbelief that Bucky was standing in the hallway in front of her apartment. She reached up placed her hand on his scruff covered cheek. A soft smile formed on his lips as his blue eyes stayed lock onto her eyes.

They hadn’t said a single word to each other, other then their names. She still seemed to be in a state of disbelief that she was with Bucky again, and he was shocked that she wasn’t mad at him for leaving her.

Leaning down he rested his forehead against her taking in her presence.

She wasn’t even sure what she should say to him right then. She had no clue where he had been for the last three years, and even though she thought about him often. She was constantly trying to remind herself that most likely she was never going to get to reunite with the man standing in front of her.

“I’m sorry I left you and never said goodbye,” he whispered breaking the silence that was between them.

She closed her eyes pushing back the tears that had formed between them. Reaching up he rested his hand on her cheek, and his thumb reached up an brushed the tears off her cheek.

“You didn’t have choice,” she said softly.

“Can we maybe go inside and talk?” he asked pulling away from her.

Nodding her head, she reached into her purse to pull out her keys. Bucky took another step away so she could the door. Walking side she set her purse on the floor and walked over to the couch in the living room. Bucky followed behind her and sat down on the couch next to her.

They stared at each other for a long moment neither of them exactly sure what they should say to each other. She reached over and rested her hand on thigh, and gave him a soft smile.

“I’m assuming you have a lot of questions,” he said softly knowing that three years had passed since they had seen each other and she had to have some questions.

“How did you find me?”

“Steve tracked you down for me,” he reached over and rested his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed her hand.

At the mention of Steve’s name, she couldn’t help but wonder if Steve had told Bucky that she thought she loved him all those years ago. She couldn’t lie that even with three years passing she was pretty sure she loved the man that was sitting next to her.

“Did he tell you that he met up with me after Germany?”

He nodded his head, “I asked him to make sure you were safe. I had him check on you occasionally.”

She nodded her head not exactly sure what else she should ask him, she was still completely blown away by the fact that she was seeing him again. “Are you still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no, they were finally able to take away what Hydra put in me.”

He gave her a gentle half smile that suddenly gave her butterflies.

“This might embarrass me, but did Steve possibly tell you how I felt about you?” her heart raced at the thought of Bucky rejecting her feeling she felt for him three years ago, especially since she still had those feelings.

Slowly he nodded his head, “he told me about them a little while ago. He also made sure to bring you up often. He knew you were one of the only real things in my life in the last seventy years.”

Tears started to slide down her cheek slowly, “when he found me that day, I honestly thought I was never going to see you again. We had shared that kiss that morning and I thought things were getting better for you…” she paused for a moment reliving that morning. “I should over never ask for you to go out and get fruit. We might have had more time together,” she couldn’t help but cry feeling suddenly guilty.

“Hey,” he reached up placing his hand on her cheek so she was looking up at him. “We were living on borrowed time. If I didn’t go out that morning, I was eventually going to go out again, they were going to find me at some point. I’m just glad that Steve found you and not someone else.”

She nodded her head and asked him the one thing she needed to know in that moment, “are we on borrowed time right now?”

He shook his head, “no I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to.”

“Okay good because I’m not ready to lose you again.”

“Lydia, just so you know, I felt the same way you did back then.”

She couldn’t help but smile. Reaching up she placed her hand on his wrist that was resting on her cheek, “do you still have those feelings?”

She needed to know, even if he didn’t it wouldn’t change how she felt then or now.

He nodded his head, “you’re still the realest thing that has ever been in my life.”

“That makes me feel better knowing that I’m the only one with those feelings,” she said softly causing him to smile.

“Are you single?” he asked completely out of nowhere.

Her brows furrowed together as she gave him a confused look, “yes, why?”

“Because I would like to kiss you again, but I want to make sure you’re not taken.”

Her eyes lit up at the thought of them sharing another kiss. “I would love for you to kiss me.”

Without another word he leaned forward and connected his lips to hers for a gentle kiss. His lips moved against hers slowly as if he was testing the waters. Pulling away from her he couldn’t help but smile, he had waited a long time before he was able to see her again, and here he was being able to kiss her again.

“I have missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I missed you too, I know I have been gone for a while, but they fixed me.”

Even though they had taken out what Hydra put in him, Bucky was still left with what he had done under his control. He felt a substantial amount of guilt for the people he had hurt because of Hydra.

“Why does it sound like you don’t feel like you’re fully fix?” she asked knowing that by his tone he still sounded guilty.

“I will never be able to forget what I did because of them. Even being wiped I’m still left with the memories are coming back,” he sighed.

“Hey, we’ve been over this, you weren’t in control you aren’t a monster. You didn’t do those things,” she sighed shaking her head.

“I know, that’s what Steve reminds me of all the time.”

“Bucky what happens now?” she asked needing to know if eventually he was going to leave again.

“I don’t exactly have a plan, I asked Steve to track you down. I told him I needed to see you, I wasn’t sure if you had a boyfriend or something, but needed to see you again.”

She smiled, “I’m glad you tracked me down, because in the last three year I have thought about you often.”

He reached up and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and asked, “where were you tonight?”

She let out a heavy sigh, “I went to the bar with some friends to celebrate my birthday.”

His eyes went wide at the mention of her birthday, “it’s your birthday?”

She smirked at how caught off guard he sounded, “well technically since it’s after midnight yes it’s my birthday.”

“I wish Steve would have told me that I would of brought you a gift,” he sighed feeling suddenly stupid that he didn’t know this information.

“I don’t really need a gift. See you again is enough,” she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his again for a soft kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close to her, she didn’t think she would get over the fact that she was able to kiss him again. Pulling away from him she looked over at the clock to see that it was one in the morning. “Did you maybe want to stay the night? It’s late and I’m exhausted, but I’m not ready for you to leave again.”

He nodded his head, he couldn’t lie he thought about the nights he shared wrapped up in her arm held close against her curvy body.

“I would really like to stay the night.”

Standing up she reached over and laced her fingers with Bucky metal fingers and led him down the hallway towards her bedroom. She dropped his hand and walked towards her dresser to grab her pajamas.

“You can sleep how ever you want. If you want to sleep in your boxers,” she as she walked towards the bathroom so she could take off her makeup and get ready for bed.

She removed her make up and washed her face and changed into her pajamas. Walking back into her bedroom she found Bucky sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers. Walking over to him she moved to stand in front of him, he looked up and smiled at her. He never in his wildest dreams thought he would see her again, let alone get to share a bed with her again. Reaching up he gently took her hand and pulled her closer to him. Standing up he moved to press her lips to his for another kiss.

“How are you even real?” he asked wondering how he found her.

“I’m pretty average at most,” she whispered as his hands moved to her round hips.

He shook his, “you are far from average Lydia. You are perfect.”

Before she could even say anything sat back down on the bed and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching up he held her face in both hands staring at her.

“I don’t know what happens tomorrow, for all I know you could kick me out and tell me to leave…” he paused for a moment to stare into her eyes. “But I would love to share one real night with you.”

“Bucky I would never kick you out and tell you to leave,” she leaned down and connected her lips to his for an intense kiss. Their lips moved together as if they need the other to breathe. Her fingers tangled in his long hair hold him close to her as his hand gripped her round hips grinding her against him. There tongued moved together as she rolled her hips gently against him. His lips moved from her mouth and started kissing down her jaw. As his beard tickled her skin, she couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of his lips against her skin. His metal hand pushed her shirt up exposing the metal of his touch to her bare skin. The cool metal sent a shiver down her spine in the best way possible. Tilting her head back she gave him more access to her exposed skin.

Pulling his lips away from her skin he reached down for the bottom of her shirt. Pulling it off he couldn’t help but groan at the sight of her bare chest in front of her. He licked his lips before his lips moved to kiss her collarbones, before working his way to her bare chest. His lips kissed her sensitive skin as she grinded her hips against his grown bugled.

“Bucky, I need more,” she moaned.

With his lips ghosting her skin he spoke, “I didn’t come to see you with the intention of this happening.”

“I know you didn’t, but I need all of you,” she sighed as his lips peppered kisses across her skin. “I have missed you so much, and I just need all of you.”

He pulled his lips away from her skin, and in one quick motion stood up holding Lydia’s curvy body as if she weighed nothing. Her eyes went wide as he held onto her. She attempted to have him put her down but before she could say something he said, “you weigh nothing to me, quit freaking out.”

He moved and laid her down on the bed. Reaching up to her curvy hips he hooked his fingers into the band of her pajama shorts and panties, and pulled them both down in one quick motion. Laying on the bed completely naked in front of him she sat back on her elbows and watched as Bucky removed his boxers leaving him naked and proud in front of her.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked sounding slightly nervous.

Nodding her head, she moved to reach into the top drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a foil packet. Holding the foil packet out Bucky took it and tore it open and slowly slid the rubbed down his length. She watched with lust filled eyes as he pumped his length a few times before crawled into the bed. Lying next to her he connected his lips to hers for a searing kiss as his flesh hand moved down to her sensitive mound, his finger slid up and down for slit a few times before his fingers did lazy circle on her bundle of nerves while their lips moved together. He was attempting to give her some foreplay before. Pulling his lips away he continued to move his finger against her bundle of nerves causing to moan her name.

“Lydia what to you want?” he asked lying next to her.

“All of you,” she moaned.

Pulling his fingers away from her, he moved so he was hovering over her. She reached down and helped line him up with her entrance. Slowly he slid in and she gasped at his size, it had a been a really long time since she had sex. She was going to need a moment to adjust to his size. Once he was fulling in, he stilled for a moment giving her time to adjust. Her head rolled back as she took a deep breath and then looked up at Bucky who was staring out with lust blown eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked feeling suddenly worried at the was hurting her.

“Yeah I’m fine, I just need a moment,” she said giving him a soft smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers for a soft kiss. “Go head and move,” she said with his lips still brushing hers.

With a slowly roll he started to move his hips against hers. Her hands moved up to grip his back as he continued to move into her. Groaned as his hips thrust into hers picking up the pace slightly. In all the time that had passed since they had last seen each other, he didn’t think he would ever get to be with her. In his mind back then he thought that they might event sleep together, especially after they had kiss, but then again, he wasn’t sure if she ever would want to do this with him.

“Bucky,” she moaned.

“Baby,” he groaned dropping his head to her shoulder. He started placing wet kisses across her bare skin. She moved her hands down to his butt pulling him as close as possible with every thrust. His teeth gently dragged across the skin of her shoulder as he moaned her name. He was getting close to the edge and he needed her to finish before him.

“Are you close?” he asked.

“Yeah Bucky,” she moaned as he picked up the pace.

Biting her bottom lip, she rolled her back moaning. Her fingers dug into his tone butt pulling him closer. With a few more thrust he pushed her over the edge. Her hands moved from his but up to his face pulling him closer to her so she could kiss him as she rode out her high. She moaned into his kiss as he rolled his hips a few times before hitting his own high. With a couple sloppy thrust he rode out his high before stilling his hips as he kissed. Pulling away from her he rolled off her and laid on the bed next to her. Silently he discarded the condom, and reached over to pulled her curvy body close to him.

She was left in a dazed state as she curled up next to him.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” she whispered as she was coming down from her high.

“I won’t ever let anything take me away from you again,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

All my taglist are open. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the Steve Little Mermaid Modern day AU story.

@thisismysecrethappyplace @minahraven @lokilvrr @justreadingthesefanfics @inmyworstlies @shlach @imanaesir @theinsomniacsblog @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @acebelle @nerd-without-a-cause @captain-rogers-neighborhood @sadancing @theonelittleone @all-of-the-little-infinites @thepandadrawer @hermione0919 @tnupsweetpie @learisa @kgcurtis30 @alwaysbandslut @ruckystarnes @sarahsassafras13 @jessicao19 @breezy1415 @violetrose90201 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @iamthemaskhewears @lapels123 @explorer–of–the–unknownn @coal000 @thorsstorms @libbymouse @asadmarveltrashbag

#my writing #fragile line #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes au #beauty and the beast #barnes barnes story #the winter soldier #the winter soldier fanfiction

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cerealmonster15 · 5 years

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(anon from the other day sorry i was gone lol) buddy me too i am on anon for a reason but it's so nice to infodump i totally feel u!! i cant speak for all ur followers but in my adhd having opinion i loooove seeing people gush abt their hyperfixations/special interests/stuff they love!! :D [owain voice] it gives my heart wings!! (1)

[im just gonna screenshot the other parts and paste them as i answer them to keep it all together c:!]

BWAHH THANKSSS if u ever wanna come off anon im 1000% down for jammin about fe forever lsjkfjsd naga knows i can t a l k. OWAIN WOULD SUPPORT US ;A; i too like seein people get super HYPED it’s so sweet and fun when people are havin a good time ! i still worry that i overdo it kjdsfbkj but i am glad it’s not a bother for u :D [the rest are gonna be in a readmore]

DKLSJFD YEAH HONESTLY ,, when i started conquest at the decision chapter i fuckin LOST the first time and was like ,, well,,,,,,, hmmmmm...... this is going to be Difficult LOL cryin... IM SO SAD BC THE NEXT CHAPTER I HAVE IS CALLED POSSESSED AND LIKE,,, I PLAY FEH,, I HAVE POSSESSED TAKUMI,,, I PLAYED BIRTHRIGHT I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I DONT LIKE IT !!!!!!!!! i misss himmmmmmme the entire time i played birthright: i miss leoooooooo i miss elise im so sadddddme the entire time ive been playing conquest: i miss takumiiiiiiii ryoma is disappointed in me and im so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd and also the spoilers ive heard for what’s about to happen make me 80 times as sad i dont wannaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god the end of chapter sakura w/everyone being so upset and hans + iago ruining everything LIKE ALWAYS was just. so awful. the hoshidans are so heartbroken and depressed and im SO UPSET IM SO SORRY SAKURA + CO I LOVE YOU EVEN THO YOU HATE ME RN ;0;

JDKSLKFHDS HONESTLY WHEN I MARRIED SILAS I WAS LIKE,,, SHIT,,, I HAVE A TYPE AND IT’S GOOFY + LOYAL RIDE OR DIE BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS WHO ALSO HAVE SORTA BLUE HAIR I GUESS FKDSLJFKLSDJ and effie is so pretty i cry,, and her lines crack me up sfkjldsjkfjkds i love when shes guarding the prison and she says something like “this prison doesnt seem very secure. why dont the prisoners just bend the bars and leave?” and im like EFFIE.............................. MY LOVE...... WH................... DSLKJFL

omg ok with dating sim type games i typically make them like,,, meish, but with fun colored hair LOL so my first one in birthright has my name and similarish hair to me except it’s pink LOL , but then when i play as boys i tend to play more of a character ? tho this one is sorta just boy me with wild purple hair lksfjds, his name is Tino bc it’s partially a section of my not first name and also “cupertino” was a family name in my fam that i always thought sounded kinda cool *w* tino loves his strong wife and is bffs with keaton (THEY WERE KICKING ASS TOGETHER AS DRAGON AND WOLFSKIN SO IM LIKE,,,,, UR BESTIES NOW IT’S CANON) . and i like to imagine leo and corrin are really close bc theyre close in age so i made sure to make them really close :3 AND ALSO ODIN AND ELISE BC FAVES LOL.....

rev is probs gonna be me again bc like. im marrying odin. im in love w/him i gotta do what i gotta do fdskjlfjsjlk [THO IM FOREVER SALTY ABOUT HOW THOSE SUPPORTS GO HHHHGHHGHFD CORRIN DONT BE A COWARD AND BE NICER TO ODIN DAMMIT]

What’re ur corrins like,,, eyes emoji,,

WHAHH NO UR GOOD !! listen any lore is good lore for me , I REALLY WANNA HEAR ABOUT BRADYS CLINIC, i remember u talkin about him and owain in that one and also brady in feh mentions it and it MADE ME SO SAD MY SWEET BOY I LOVE YOU BRADYYYYYYYYYY

i need to replay awakening so i can actually get kjelle this time ;w; I RAN OUT OF MEN IM SORRY SWEETIE SKLJFSD

me cryin at intsys why wont u let chrom hold mrobins HAND they r in love,,,,, god if they made an awakening remake id cry and marry chrom 50 more times fjkslfdjdsls

PLEASE YOU GOTTA THEYRE SO FUNNY I CRY SKLLFJSKLFDS

IM GONNA POST SOME OF MY FAVE 4KOMAS HFSDKJFSJK LOOK

I THINK ABOUT THOSE TWO ALL THE TI M E JFKDSFLJS

also odin and niles are banned from the kitchen forever and i. i die:

cooking with niles uhh corrin voice: i would prefer not to fsdklfjslkdfjksdl

i saw a fancomic just like this one and i just think about both every time i put kaze or the other ninjas in the arena fkjlsdfjdsklj POOF , alas,

im in love with these two oh my god. this + skimming through felicia’s and ryoma’s supports similar to these comics made me dead set on s supporting them together when i play revelations because oh my god this is the cutest thing ive ever seen in my entire LIFE . ryoma!!!!!!!!! you blushy dork !!!!!!!

RYOMA RIPPING OFF HIS SHIRT AND TAKUMI BEING LIKE BROTHER NO WHAT THE FUCK FSJDKLFJSKL IT’S SO FUNNY , and these two have a fun rivalry about corrin fjskdflskl ive skimmed their supports and it’s Amusing

but like, best one is still

THESE STUPID LOSER BROTHERS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FJSDKLFHGHH i cant fuckin wait to play rev and to force everyone to be best friends . also the first 60000 times i read this one i didnt even notice the arrow so i thought leo just saw a far away enemy headed for them and just punched him about it fkjsdlfjds

god theyre just

so funny

#Anonymous #asks

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faunusrights · 5 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 7

when will one of these chapters start with ‘wow murphy’s gonna love this and rly enjoy themself’ WHEN IT IS. I HAVE TO KNOW.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i am Recognising this chapter so we’re not quite yet in untouched, completely Feral territory which is. nice. thats nice. i like it when i know what im working w/ but who the kell hnows.

Something nagged at her. A forgotten thing. She thought hard, but even so, it took a long moment for her to remember.

me when i go to my room to fetch my dishes for the washing machine but i get sidetracked by my dog being cute and then i forget and go back downstairs and remember the dishes and then i come back up but my dog is still there and i forget again-

i’m just. rly enjoying this glynda. I SAID IT BEFORE BUT IM RLY THRIVING FOR THIS IDIOT WITH ONE BRAINCELL. THE BRAINCELL IS CINDER.

Glynda’s hunting instincts were primed, the only part of her that worked with absolute clarity, even now.

this is why she hasn’t noticed cinder’s flirting, the fool, the blithering idiot,

In the split second before she faded from consciousness, she smelled ash, the foreign Aura within her flaring until she could taste it: burning flesh and steady decay. Then it disappeared, fizzling out.

hm. is it a callout to say this is. romantic. this is kinda romantic. hey is this? gay? i think its gay. im gonna settle on it.

its gay.

When she awoke the next morning, it was like pulling herself from some great void,

H👈A😎H👈

for some reason THAT was the fingergun that made me spill juice all over my keyboard i see how it is

Then she remembered that at Beacon, her blood usually stayed inside her body.

im thriving for this weird observation. you know when you wake up somewhere new like a hotel or smthng and for a moment yr like ‘where am i’ and u figure it out thru like. normal fucking means. like oh thats not my duvet oh thats not my ceiling oh thats not where my window is-

and then glynda has to judge her location by how much blood of hers is spilled in it. this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE GOT ONE BRAINCELL AND OFFAL HUNT IS THE THESIS TO PROVE IT-

It was the room she’d all but dissembled in after getting her ass kicked and then saved by Cinder Fall.

sorry im going HOG WILD on quotes but these new lines r SO GOOD and im LIVING for them....................... like until now we’ve had glynda goodwitch, terrifying unstoppable woman and occasional dipshit. now shes all dipshit. just 100% pure dipshit. spread her on a field and you couldnt tell her from the manure. a complete buffoon.

that said its nice to see glynda using her Brainmess for once... i mean she still wont be able to put an otherwise fuck-ton of clues together still because that requires, the ability to multitask, which is surely does not have, but finally she’s taking five fuckin minutes to let herself go ‘well THATS weird’.

There had only been a stirring of life along those red-vein tattoos, swirling just along the cut of Cinder’s dress.

im enjoying the new ‘sexey tattoos’ slant we’re seein in this remaster it was a real shame they didnt get primetime attention last time.

also glynda Why Ya Lookin,

Hello,

she’d be a heretic to the Law of Semblances twice-over,

I May Not Know My Semblances, But I Know A Bitch When I See One!

For the first time in years, Glynda wanted to set everything aside and rest.

we stan a sleepy bitch................ ugh im so glad she’s finally realising she needs 2 give herself some mfing slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because as much as im enjoying the Dragfest she rly needs to. chill.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel around her waist and her dirty clothes balled in her hands,

look i didnt make this blog to lie that my first reaction to this was tilting my head and going ‘tiddy out? tiddy? is the tiddy out? tiddy?’

look women look hotter doing all the things guys do and this is fact i wont sit down and i Wont Shut Up

No more rushing ahead and getting herself torn up for nothing.

H👈A😎H👈!

thats a Good One, Glynda,

Winter Schnee had the pale white hair of her bloodline, and the sharp features of the famously reclusive Willow Schnee.

YES BITCH WE ARE IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POP THOSE MFING BOTTLES

i have been WAITING. FOR WEEKS. 7 FUCKING WEEKS I HAVE SAT HERE AND WAITED AND IT FINALLY PAID OFF OH MY GOD MY BITCH IS IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ozpin had said, she was twice the age of the younger Schnee daughter, and her blue eyes held all the acuity that age had brought her.

i made a Sound at this i CAN SEE WHAT YOU DID. I SEE IT. I SEE IT,

A single photo hung on the wall next to a placard detailing some kind of award. Glynda pushed her glasses up on her nose to get a better look. Though it had the appearance of a family photo, only the women of the Schnee family were present, Willow and Weiss flanking a newly ranked Winter.

why am i being targeted directly anyway

safdjhgfsdajgh WINTER,....... im still. im Love w/ this main bitch finally... Finally.... i love winter in offal hunt so fuckign much and im so glad she’s here and that we’re getting more details because AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love her!!!!!!!!!

also i cant.... say anything because spoilers..... but also............. NNNNNNN this convo has just. so much behind it. SO MUCH CONTEXT. its Killing Me,

A strange expression crossed Winter’s expression. It looked like how bruises felt.

im losing my fucking mind rn diesel and kc are going right to hell and they know it but do they care???????????? no. they already are the devil,

okay i went silent for ages and read ahead because i screamed in discord for like ten minutes and it looked like this

so YEAH theres that, i guess,

Instead, it only filled her with deep unease. Glynda didn't know what Cinder’s game was, but it was becoming clear that it did not align with her own. And the more she thought about it, the less she understood. The less she understood, the more wary she became.

cinder: i wanted to tell this girl i liked her so i wrote her a note that said get out of my desert,

im rly thrivin in this chap i already said it but we’re rly jumping into the meat n bones of the Plot now and its a Good Plot so im excited!!!!!!!!!

“Yes, I think you’ll like her!”

“she’s a lesbian, like you, so maybe her distinguished energy will chill your dysfunctional energies out-”

Glynda pressed her lips; she needed a delicate hand here, needed to carefully choose a response which would divert Ozpin away from the topic. “No reason.”

YES MY FAV LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is Big Me and literally this is MAYBE the best and also funniest line in this entire shitshow remembers the Pasta Bit and /sweats

i also rly enjoy glynda n ozs friendship... i mean im out here remembering the glynda/ozpin/cinder fic so i was already sold on all their interactions but its rly good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLYNDAS BEST FRIEND MAY BE 200 YEARS OLD BUT GOD DAMN IT WHEN WILL YR BFF EVER BE THERE FOR U LIKE THAT,

theres a Bit here im not gonna go into but. honestly once u kno how offal hunt basically ends? Its Sad and Im Sad. i hate how knowing this whole thing just inflects on everything else and everything glynda wants and honestly this whole fic sucks. why am i reading this AGAIN.

“I have faith in you, Glynda. But there are terrible things that can be done to a person even without killing them.”

👈😢👈

we’ve popped the first sad fingerguns but also What The Literal Fuck, Oz,

“Come and catch me, then.”

im LAUGHING this is much better than the first version because this is SUCH a cinder-brand of shit to say dsfjhgfds she’s SUCH A SHIT-STIRRER but i love her,

“She’s just sent me something. My Scroll is working fine, but I think it’s safe to assume she knows what we’re discussing.”

“What did she send you?”

“An invitation.”

oh finally glynda works out the whole CCT business JHGDSFSDF i wonder if cinder knew shed figure it out or saw her msgs to oz and went ‘ah shit well’

BUT YEAH..... DATE! DATE! DATE! HOT DATE WITH CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am. VERY excited as many of u will remember i made a prime shitpost abt That Chap back in the day and ill have 2 REDRAW IT!!!!!!!!! POPPIN BOTTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway this chapter sucked and was also very good in equal measure. as it is Wont,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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chrly-works · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3: New School, New Life

“This sucks” you said to your ceiling.

At first, you honestly couldn’t care less wether you got in or not. But after a few days, you were completely stressed about it— but that’s only cause you wanted to get in for Fijoshi and Kira’s sake.. y-yeah.

It was almost a full week since the written and practical exams... and you needed to know how you did! You had a feeling you did okay on the written part, but you had to guess quite a bit of it. Though you honestly weren’t sure how you did on the practical. At first, you thought for sure you did really well (you knew you had at least 40 points), but then your own head began betraying you by filling itself with doubts and wondering if there were even more extra components to the test you weren’t aware of.

It was the worst! You had no idea what was gonna happen and all you wanted was answers!

You finally rolled out of bed and put on some real clothes. Kira had gone out and bought you some really nice clothing— fit for a teenager— and they surprisingly matched your style. They were mostly dark colored but not quite edgy, more like trendy then anything else but not flashy. Most importantly though, they were comfortable. You brushed your long (h/c) hair and pulled it into a simple ponytail (like always), then left the room.

It was a Saturday morning (although it was almost afternoon) so the sun beautifully lit up the living room. “Hey, (y/n). Man I was almost worried for a bit, you were sleeping so long!” Fijoshi teased. “Ha ha, very funny.” You replied sarcastically. “I kept the eggs warm on the stove, and there’s some toast on a plate if you’re hungry for breakfast. After your done we can do some studying to make sure you remember everything.” He said, pointing to the kitchen.

You groaned audibly and the mention of more studying. All week long the both of them had been making you study ‘Japanese Cultural Etiquette’ since your parents nor your old school ever taught you about it (you were raised to be a villain, and why would a villain need to know something like that?). Sure, you were grateful that they weren’t gonna let you become a social wreck, but it just felt like every minute of every hour they were having you study the same things. But you supposed it would be worth it when you showed up to class not being a total nuisance (that is if you were accepted).

You were going honorifics (again) when Kira came out of the elevator with a certain envelope in her hand. “(y/n)!! Fijoshi!! It’s here!!” She exclaimed. You felt your heart rate pick up and sweat forming on your palms as she handed you the envelope. It read ‘U.A High School’ on it. Yeah, it’s definitely what you’ve been waiting for. You walked quickly into your room and closed the door behind you.

You sat down on your desk and looked at it all over— almost as to check that it’s real, and that you didn’t just fall asleep while studying.

Nope, this was very real!

You carefully opened the seal and looked inside. There was a letter, but also a metal disc. You inspected the disc a little before setting it down on the desk, that’s when a hologram came up out of no where.

“THIS IS A PROJECTION” All might loudly announced.

“What the f—?!” You said out loud, nearly falling out of your chair from the sudden jump scare from the number one fucking hero. Sure you’d seen him on the news but not right in your god damn face!

“Wait.. what?! All might?!! This is supposed to be from U.A… the hell is going on?” You thought to yourself, confused. You had a sneaking suspicion.. but you prayed you were wrong.

“You’ve probably seen that I have been in town for a little while now,” he said.

“He’s been in the same city as me? You mean there’s a slight chance I could have run into him?!” You thought, terrified. This is why there is only three places you ever go: Home, the apartment, and your secret space..

“But I’m in town for one reason: to be a teacher at UA!” aaaannndd your theory was correct. At this point the universe just seemed to be giving you the middle finger, what else could go wrong?

“Now, you did mediocre on the written, and pretty well on the practical. However, a mere 30 villain points will not be enough to pass..” He explained. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Sure, Kira and Fijoshi would still accept you, and still be there for you.. but you honestly wanted to make them proud of you.

“But-! That’s not all! Please watch the screen!” He said, pointing to the screen.

“Huh?” It showed you the video footage of you helping that boy during the exam.. and then.. wait what? The video showed you him doing even better and helping others who made his mistake of wasting their energy. “I helped him that much?” You questioned.

“Yes, you have your strength, but what’s important is how your actions inspire others,” you couldn’t believe your eyes or your ears. Tears threatened to fall as they pricked at your eyes, but you held them back— there was no reason to cry.. but.. the feeling of being accepted as someone more than just a villain—

“This exam, we weren’t just watching for villain-based points!!” He exclaimed. You were right! “A hero course that rejects those who do the right thing.. is no hero course at all!! Which is why there is… RESCUE POINTS!! Another fundamental way for U.A to evaluate you!”

“Rescue points? So that was it!” You thought happily to yourself.

“41 Rescue points to (y/n) (l/n)!!”

“You’re in!!” Those words.. words you never thought would make you feel like this whatever ‘this’ was. Whatever it was it felt… nice.

“THIS WILL BE YOUR HERO ACADEMIA!!!” He exclaimed intensely. Adrenaline pumped through your body. How? How is this happening?? A villain.. that’s all you’ve ever been to the world— hell, to yourself!! Something looked down upon as scum that needs to be destroyed.. and now you were being accepted as a hero. A real hero! What was happening? This had to be fake! A prank maybe?

You stood up and walked to the door. As you reached for the knob you realized how much your hands were shaking. You tried to calm yourself down by taking some deep breathes. Calm, cool, and collected, right?

Once you managed to calm down a bit, you opened the door to tell them. You thought you had shaken off the excessive emotions, but once you saw their anticipating faces, everything rushed back all at once.

You ran over to them and pulled them both into a tight hug while happily repeating, “I got in, I got in!” A few times, while they both congratulated you.

Some time later-

Once everyone had received their letters of acceptance or denial, the scoreboard results were released for the practical. You weren’t the very best like you initially suspected, but you scored 4th place, which in your opinion was pretty good. The most noticeable scores were first place with 77 villain points and 0 rescue points and seventh place with 60 rescue points and no villain points. Honestly, the latter was more impressive. The fact that someone managed to get in solely on rescue points was both odd and amazing.

You soon received your school uniform which was kind of upsetting. Not because of the fact it’s a uniform (your old school had a uniform too, although it was basically just a jumpsuit, and you were one of the very few people who actually wore it) but because of the.. skirt. You hated skirts and dresses. You weren’t a very feminine female, and after a short test run, you felt mildly uncomfortable with how short it was. You were scared to even walk, let alone run, jump, and walk up stairs! So, you decided to wear semi-see though leggings, so that way you wouldn’t feel totally exposed.

But other then the uniform.. you were so ready to start school— damn you’ve never said that before. You were very (very) well informed about how to be culturally respectful, you trained a bit (physically) with Fijoshi, and studied regular academic areas with Kira— so you were gonna kick U.A’s ass!

Well.. that was how you felt until you were stood in front of your homeroom door. Why was everything here so damn big? You were put into class 1-A. You remembered the blonde from the practical exam, and after seeing how easily he defeated the faux villains, you were sure he got in. Actually you had a feeling he was ‘Katsuki Bakugo’ who got first place. After seeing how much of an ass (and how intimidating— um, wait what? Nothing..) he was you really hoped he wasn’t in your class.

You opened the door.. and behold, the blonde douche himself, sitting with his feet up on the desk. Whatever, he won’t get anywhere with that kind of attitude, you knew that much.

There were a few other students in the classroom, but you came somewhat early so not everyone was there.

Sitting near the front though, was the boy you saved during the practical in the entrance exam. He was focused on a book so you didn't wanna distract him, but you made a mental note to say hello to him later.

Other than him, there was one other student who caught your eye.

Half of his hair was white and the other half was red. He had heterochromatic eyes (One side being grey and the other turquoise blue) and he had a somewhat cold and intimidating feeling to him.. why was everyone so serious? Were they just stressed or something?

A couple people looked your way when you came in, but they kept talking among themselves. “Promise me you’ll make some friends” Kira’s words came to your mind. "Right, I can’t just hide in the classroom, not this time. Do something.. a-anything!"

But most of these people have been set on becoming heroes since they were little kids. You’ve been set on being a villain since you were a kid.. “Don’t you dare forget who you really are.” You bullied yourself. You went to go to the desk in the back, next to the half red, half white boy. As you got closer, you noticed he had a burn mark on his left eye. You wanted to ask about it but you figured you would just be nosey and annoying by doing that. So instead you put your bag down and walked towards the middle of the classroom to observe everyone when a few other students came to you.

“Hey, I’m Mina Ashido! What’s your name?” She happily asked you. “Uh h-hey. I’m (l/n) (y/n), nice to meet you.” You nervously said. Why were you always such a nervous mess in front of other teens?? “Come on girl, calm down. Just be normal! You’ll never make any friends if you aren’t confident!” You yelled at yourself in your head. But it was no use.. you were scared of so many things in that moment. Exposing yourself, being unwanted by others, messing up and getting kicked out of U.A… so many things could go wrong for you.

Although, unknown to you, some of the boys watching your encounter thought your shyness was adorable.. but lets save that for later.

“I’m Toru Hagakure!” An invisible girl greeted bubbly. A few more people came in, including the uptight guy from when Present Mic was talking about the practical exam. He walked over to the blonde and started lecturing for having his feet up on the desk. During their ‘conversation’ you picked up that his name was ‘Tenya Iida’. So you knew a couple students, that’s good you supposed. Although, you were still far from having any real friendships.

“It’s you.” Iida said towards someone at the door, causing everyone to look his way.

Broccoli boy! Although apparently his name was ‘Izuku Midoriya’. Soon after him came the nice girl who saved him from falling at the gate before the entrance exam.

“If you’re here to socialize then get out.” Said a… what is that? “Oh, it’s a guy in a sleeping bag. Why a sleeping bag?” You thought quizzically to yourself.

He pulled out a juice bag or something as he said, “This is.. the hero course.” He stood up, and climbed out of the sleeping bag. U.A was sure an odd place.

“It took 8 seconds for you all to quiet down. Time is a precious resource. You all aren’t very rational, are you?” He lectured. The man looked somewhat rough around the edges, with long somewhat messy hair and tired eyes. Yet you knew he must’ve been a pro (since Kira told you that all of the teachers were pros only after you got accepted in.. that was a scare and a half) but you didn’t recognize him at all, and you knew most pros in the area. Also.. why was he in the room?

“I’m your homeroom teacher, Shota Aizawa. Pleased to meet you.” He said. His tone of voice conflicted with his words.. he didn’t seem to have the slightest bit of enthusiasm. “So he’s our homeroom teacher? Guess there wouldn’t be another reason for him to be in the classroom with us..” You analyzed. “Quickly now. Change into your gym clothes and head out to the grounds.” The grounds? Wasn’t today supposed to be meant for orientation, at least you thought that’s how normal schools worked..

You changed into your PE clothes and headed out to the grounds, where Aizawa-sensei (gotta practice those honorifics, ya know) announced we would be doing a quirk test.

“A test.. of our quirks?” Most of the class asked, surprised. It made sense when you thought about it, how else was the school supposed to track your progress? A test at the beginning and surely more throughout the school year. Although it seemed a bit much to be having such an important test on the very first day, you knew it was all for the greater good of getting stronger and making Kira and Fijoshi proud though, right?

Right!

“What about the entrance ceremony? Or the guidance sessions?” The nice girl asked. “No time to waste on that stuff if you want to become heroes.” He replied. He was right but.. it dawned on you that this was serious. It’s not like the old academy.. you treated most of the tasks there like a game because being a villain wasn’t a job you had to take too seriously. But being a hero? This was most certainly not a game, you need to be on top of everything to excel here— and that included academics! You couldn’t just slack off in everything other then hero work. Not that you were planning on doing that in the first place though.

“U.A is known for it’s ‘freestyle’ educational system. That applies to us teachers as well.” He explained. He was saying nothing but the truth— and you had to admit, you liked this guy. “Softball throwing, the standing long jump, the 50 meter dash, endurance running, grip strength, side-to-side stepping, upper-body training, and seated toe touch. You did these all in junior high, yes? Your standard no-quirks-allowed gym tests.”

“This country still insists on prohibiting quirks when calculating the averages of those records. It’s not rational. The department of education is just procrastinating.” He (yet again) spoke the truth. The education system should allow quirks to be more implemented into schools.. although there shouldn’t be no regulation. In the United States for example, citizens had no boundaries so it was pretty chaotic (and bulling was a crazy big problem in schools too!), or at least that’s what you knew from the news.

“Bakugo.” He pointed the attention to the egoistic blonde. You knew it! He did get first! Sure it... didn’t really matter weather you knew that the asshole who bumped into you also got first place.. but it fed your own ego a bit knowing you were correct, alright?

“How far could you throw in middle school?” “Sixty-seven meters, I think.” He replied. Not bad. “Great. Now try it with your quirk. Do whatever you need to. Just don’t leave the circle. Give it all you got” Aizawa explained. “Awesome.” Bakugo replied.

When he went to go throw, he used a powerful explosion to boost it (not to mention screaming ‘die’ as he threw it but, ya know, that’s cool—that’s normal…haha..). You got to see his quirk in action during the practical, but it was still impressive. Though, you weren’t gonna ever tell him that. You had a sneaking suspicion that giving him any sort of praise ultimately wouldn’t be beneficial to him.

“It’s important for us to know our limits.” Aizawa said, then showing his score to the class. The little robot read ‘705.2 meters’. “What the heck?! That’s definitely an improvement from ’67’ he got in middle school!” You thought (mildly intimidated) to yourself. Others gave their input, and one person had said that they thought this was gonna be ‘awesome’ or whatever.

“…awesome.. you say?” He said, raising worry and anticipation. Oh god, something bad was about to happen, you could feel it. “You’re hoping to become heroes after three years here… and you think it’ll be all fun and games?” He said, with an intense look and feel to him. You broke a tiny sweat on your forehead... this guy was pretty fucking serious, but you liked that about him. After all, it would be super weird (and slightly annoying) to have someone laid-back and goofy, cause how is someone like that supposed to teach us how to be disciplined and good heroes?

“Right. The ones with the lowest score across all eight events will be deemed hopeless.. and will be expelled.” He intensely proclaimed. “What the hell dude?! I was just complimenting you in my head!” You thought, stunned. Expelled?! As in.. to never come back on campus again?? No, no, no.. that can’t be a real threat.. can it? Shit!! What would Kira and Fijoshi think if you got in and then immediately expelled after the first day!! No, you weren’t gonna let that happen. You would just do everything in your power to make sure you’re not going home!

“Your fates are in your hands. Welcome. This is.. the hero course at U.A High!”

You shook off your fear and in its place painted a determined face.

There was no way in hell you were gonna be expelled this early! You were going to be something that makes Kira and Fijoshi proud!! Their efforts and hard-work were not going to be wasted!!

Not if you had anything to say about it.

#fanfic #my hero academia #mha #bnha #todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #tenya lida #kaminari denki #shoto aizawa #uraraka ochako #mina ashido #toru hagakure #original character

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