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#im being sensitive and dramatic I think
themetalvirus · 10 months
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lets just say that a few aspects of egghogs are very personal to me and sometimes my brainstorming for the story gets Too Real and it becomes an uncomfortable aspect of the story to tell. like, putting shadow in The Tube is one thing but straight-up verbal abuse (which there is a lot of) is commonplace and it makes me uncomfortable even writing it out because of my own experiences. i dunno
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iwantyoursexmp3 · 8 months
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one niche weird thing about reading for a litmag is the more online flash/micro fiction i've read the more i've found specific writers that i really admire or at least i can recognise their name when i see them published in litmags. and sometimes they'll they show up in the queue and it's like oh i'm really inspired by this writer and their skill but now i'm on the side where i read and analyse and vote on their submission. and my impostor syndrome is like what the hell
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starsonmarsy · 7 months
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bpd is bpding
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devondespresso · 1 year
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i will always be a "Steve is a highly sensitive person" truther for good and valid reasons but mostly because im a hsp and i kin that guy
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piplupod · 2 years
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tfw u wake up on the verge of tears because you are so tired from not sleeping well and now u cant go get groceries bc u will cry if u do that so u just have to stay at home and try not to be a pile of miserable sludge all day
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one-way-dream · 2 years
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oughg sorry
#was able to cry a little for the first time in weeks and it worked for a bit but now im. feeling kinda wack again#wish my depression could let me do things to get feelings out but i had to be cursed w executive dysfunction#biting and killing and maiming#i dont want to be whiny about it but aughfhffnghd#when barely anything sparks joy it is hard everything feels hard#i am tired of waking up like this but i don't really. have a right to complain#everything just makes me retreat further into myself i am tired#i don't really know why but i am#i dont think i was able to get the past year out of my system properly and#i keep having dreams about my sister and i and i keep waking up disturbed or anxious or sick or angry or annoyed#weird ass state of burnout and every day i wake up and go through the exact same cycle of just#trying to keep myself calm until i inevitably shut down from something minor in the afternoon and the intrusive s/h thoughts drive me insane#then the rest of my day is ruined so like a solid 12 hours until i can. be stable-ish again#i cannot even do things to get my mind off of it other than brain numbing shit like lets plays on yt#[shrek voice] they cant even afford therapy#something wrong with me and i cannot rly figure out what or if im being overly sensitive n dramatic about everything#nothing is even Happening irl and things are completely normal and fine for the first time in months snd yet?#jesus christ . WHY.#o|-< oughg#tee.xt#vent /#personal /#sory for farty rocking ill probably delete later if i remember
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truckstoptigers · 5 months
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why can't i have a dad that's nice to me
#they hurt me in different ways but they both hurt me#my stepfather continues to do/say things that hurt me & im essentially not allowed to call him out#it gets absolutely nowhere bc he doesnt care to listen. he also sometimes intentionally triggers me#(obviously talking abt car-related topics is very difficult for me but hell bring that stuff up on purpose bc#'you need to know whats going on in the world!! you cant just keep your head in the sand!!' like shut the entire fuck up.#you dont get to trigger me KNOWING YOURE DOING IT and then expect me to be cool#and you ESPECIALLY do not get to be pissed AT ME when i have a panic attack as a result#my life would improve dramatically w/out him in it & that kills me. two dads & neither of them are decent.#but i think what kills me abt my stepdad was that he DID love me & cared abt my interests. he tried to get to know me. he was kind.#i had a good dad. and all of a sudden he became not even a shell of that person. that person simply did not exist anymore.#i hate it. i hate HIM. but it wasnt always that way and it hurts to remember that.#trauma vent#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatized#hes a big part of why i basically feel guilty for existing as a human being w needs#and a big part of why my self-directed internalized ableism is so bad. im working to improve that though. its just rlly hard#esp since i still live w him#oh also a fix for a typo up there: i am sensitive to CSA-RELATED topics not car-related topics lmfao#although his driving does scare me lol!!!#milo murmurs
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lol it’s hard for me to believe any of the negative stories ppl have abt Dan or Bastille, like I just see them as angels and perfectly nice all the time
yeah I mean same kind of. I can't really imagine them doing anything actively mean or trying to be rude to fans or anything lol, but also they are people so there are gonna be times when they're tired or busy or just don't want to be bothered and, even though that's obviously like fine and allowed, i can see how that might rub people the wrong way.
idk i think part of it is that they, and particularly dan, have such a reputation for being super nice and also the way dan comes across as very down-to-earth and kind of accessible (?) for an artist of his size can lead people to feel veryyy entitled to his time and a certain level of friendliness ig, so if the interaction doesn't go the way they want it to then some people will take that out on him even though he's literally just a person lol
also they aren't angels and perfectly nice all the time they are literally just people pls don't think that about anyone ahaha lol
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hyewka · 10 months
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i seriously need some sub soob🫢
like imagine him squirming and whining because you ONLY kissed his red tip thats leaking precum ehishsisidjdd im going insaneeee
warnings; sub!soobin obvi, sort of pervy, best friends who fuck each other (fwb), puppy pet name, big dick soob, slapping ?? balls??, gets a boner from cleavage, soobin is extra sensitive down there and cums a lot
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When Soobin invited you over to his dorm, you don’t exactly expect to have nothing but your phone to turn to as he simultaneously gets worked up over some video game he’s playing and ignores you all around. You should’ve guessed this was going to happen, but you’re bitter about it anyway.
Is it a crime to have thought that he was implying something else by inviting you over?
“I’m bored.” you whine for the umpteenth time, your thumb with no thought scrolling through your feed of posts you’ve already liked and reposted.
When he doesn’t even spare a glance, you scoff and resort to a kick at his back—which to your credit, gets him to adjust his headset and look back to you.
“Yeah?” he mouths, not having heard you before.
You can’t help but think he looked cute today, his pinkish lips and the hair over his eyes making him look even more of a puppy, but before you could even get a word out, his eyes suddenly widen at the faint yell you could hear from his headset, immedietley turning around has he aggresively spams buttons on his controller in panic.
“Holy shit dude, get off my ass I looked away for one—”
You groan into his pillow, making sure to make it as dramatic as possible, proceeding to sulk right after. This was not a productive use of your time. Fifty entire minutes of laying on his bed as he plays a video game. The switch out of your sport bra for a push up right before you came over really is doing nothing for you right now.
When you hear a string of curses spilling out of his mouth, you look over your shoulder curiously and see that his screen was in spectator mode. “You lost?”
He groans, taking off his headset completely, his mic muted. “Mhm, got killed. What’s up though?”
You take note of the screaming now louder from his headphones. Probably at him for getting eliminated. You don’t let him be though, exhaling dramatically looking back to your phone, “What’s up is your bestest, number one, most treasured, hottest friend is horny, sexually frustrated, and bored out of their mind.”
Soobin chokes on practically nothing at the casual mention of you being horny. It’s dumb, like he’s a middle school boy with no experience.
He really was not used to the ‘thing’ between you guys, like, at all. The stolen kisses (which is to be noted very quickly turn into full blown makeout sessions) when no one’s looking, the occasional need to send pics of his hard on to you, slight panic and regret settling in when he sees the ‘read’ receipt with no sign of a response for an entire five minutes (are you not in the mood? did you hate it? will you stop what you guys have going on?), or even the late night calls when you decide to facetime him instead of responding to his blurry nudes through text, and then…well, phone sex seemed to be a normal standard of your friendship. Weirdly enough.
Even if by now you’ve fucked him well over a few times that a mere mention of feeling horny shouldn’t have gotten him as flustered as it just did. But it’s so sudden, the shift from being friends who strongly, and vehemently denied of the secretly dating rumors to…secretly fucking.
“Oh yeah?” comes out a lot more in a loser way than he intended because he basically chokes it out. He’s never been nervous around you, save for the beginning of your friendship.
You’re very much aware of how unjusted Soobin is to the sudden change in your dynamic. Even you think it’s odd that the person you end up texting when you get…needy is Soobin.
Soobin was never the guy you’d think of starting anything even remotely sexual with.
You’ve known him since the years of being taller than him, and you’ve come to learn about his many deep faults along with gross habits you would never let fly under the radar if from someone else, so for him to be the exact type of man you’ve been seeking lately in bed is, well, surprising.
He seems to be the only person who can satisfy you nowadays. But you try not to show it too much, basking much more in how easily he gets flustered. It’s adorable.
“Yeah,” you sigh, shifting position from your stomach to your back and after much contemplation, deciding to take the chance of sitting up straight, “Did you really invite me over to watch you game? You know I don’t play video games.”
You don’t miss the way his eyes trail down, for sure because your chest was in full view now, his tongue prodding out just a tiny bit to wet his lips, almost like out of instinct. That dog. You show a bit of cleavage and he’s already drooling.
To be fair, it is the exact reaction you were fishing out of him. So you’re definitely not complaining.
You end up stifling a laugh, to which he immediately catches like he’s been trained to know your laughs on cue, breaking him out of his daze—an awkward coughing fit delayed a few seconds after to distract from the fact that he thinks he might’ve been caught, blush quickly warming his cheeks. “You think they’re silly, yeah, I know.
“But they’re—they’re not!” he splutters out, “I thought if you watched me play with Beo—”
“Were you just staring at my tits?” you cut him off with half the ability to not just start laughing. It’s worth seeing Soobin’s eyes widen like a cartoon character.
“No!” he says immediately— the crack of his voice doing nothing to help you keep a straight face. See? Adorable.
Then he huffs out a scoff like he’s surprised you’d ever accuse of him of such scandalous behavior. “Just because we fuck doesn’t mean I want to do you every second of the day. I respect you.”
It’s like a game of your cocked brow calling bullshit (more on the fucking thing than respecting you) and him staring back just as intensely as if he truly was not just ogling at your chest. Okay then, fair enough. You’ll get him to break. And admit to it.
“So if I did this…” you unbutton one of the two buttons of your crop top, and your eyes intently watch the way he struggles to not watch your every movement, still keeping his eyes on your face.
Stubborn. You can work with that. He won’t last long.
You drag the unbuttoning of the second one, and when it finally pops out, it’s a full view of your cleavage, cool air of the A.C being the cause of the goosebumps appearing.
And you’re right. He doesn’t last long. Barely even five seconds.
“My eyes are up here idiot.”
He doesn’t even try to hide the blushing anymore, once again licking his lips. You can see the bob of his adam apple when he finally meets your eyes. “Can I see your tits?” he says—the shame of asking is something that overtime became a numbing feeling, because with each time you casually lift your shirt at his request, the easier it gets to push down the feeling of being a pervert.
You break into a wide grin at how easy and straightforward he was—a passing thought of hoping he’s not like, like this for every living thing with fatty tissue on their chest. It’s not jealousy, god no, but it’s better if this was only between you two… for safety reasons?
You pretend to ponder on it but he should know by now that the enjoyment you get out of teasing him is way greater than any feeling.
You decide on what you’ll say, an evil smirk making way. “Am I just a pair of breasts Soobin? Just for you to ogle at? I thought you respected me.”
He shuts his eyes, whining at seeing that his words were very quick to bite him in the ass. “Please. You know I’ll be good.” he whispers the last few words and that has an affect on you. Big one.
Because he isn’t lying. Soobin’s very obedient. And god, you love it. So much.
But you don’t show that, you never do—letting him chase after something for once. Maybe if he gets a little more desperate, you’d think about a quick flash. “You have plenty of my nudes saved, can’t you jerk off to those? Y’know, like you usually do.”
Is it fair to make a jab at the occasional, every so often muffled voice messages in response to even just a slightly revealing picture that you’re asking him the opinion of, where you could hear his unstable breathing and the wet sounds of his pre cum covered shaft? Probably not, especially when you also get off of pics he’d unknowingly send to be the most delicious, mouth watering photo you’ve seen yet.
Soobin, on the other hand, is like, sure he’d go insane. Ever since he was allowed to look at you in the not-only-friends way, he took up every chance you dangled in front of him like a dog with a bone. Showing a little bit of your cleavage? His mind’s running to images. Just thinking of kissing and sucking until your tits go sore makes him so shamelessly a pervert. Seeing the head of his cock disappear between your tits when you took it upon yourself that one day of giving him a taste of what a titty fuck was like—god, it’s forever embedded into his memory.
He still sulks over the fact that you didn’t let him take a video.
Suddenly his well fitted sweats have easily become the most suffocating piece of clothing, his bulge shy of peaking through the fabric and making an obvious imprint. He tries to not look like a sore desperate loser, to look just a tiny bit cooler, but you make it so hard that he’s willing to get on his knees. Like seriously.
You’re back on your phone, looking to be disinterested which makes him bite the insides of his cheeks—already overthinking. Were you mad that he asked to see?
He tentatively puts a hand on your ankle, gauging at least some sort of reaction. You give him that—a glance. “Sorry if like, um— I didn’t invite you just for games obviously— well, okay not ‘obviously’ but I, uh, also don’t think you’re like, a floating pair of…breasts or something.” You cock a brow, really curious of where this Soobin ramble of the day would go.
“You’re my bestest friend—is that corny to say? Shit, well, you are and I think you’re smart, and obviously really funny, and bright and so pretty, like, really pretty and I mean—”
“Soobin where the fuck are you?”
You both look at the headset next to him on the bed, the yelling loud enough to transcend the reason the product was made anyway. He looks back to you and you could tell he intends on finishing his monologue. “And I mean—” he starts again before cursing under his breath at the second time he gets cut off.
“Fucking cuck, are you ignoring us?”
He groans at the stupid item, as if it just ruined a critical moment. Then he looks back at you apologetically. God, he hopes you don’t leave. “Um, well I have to keep playing they’d kill me if—” he panics a little trying to explain but you’re on another train of thought entirely, thinking that this was perfect timing.
“It’s okay, keep playing!” You say, practically gleaming.
His facial expression is a mix of skeptical confusion and desperation. But instead of questioning your enthusiasm, he bites down on his lip for a second. “You—you won’t leave, right? Don’t leave. Please.”
You shake your head, mouthing an ‘I won’t’ and finally, he lets out a breath of relief he didn’t know he was holding in.
He doesn’t know why he’s so desperate for you to stay. It’s not like you don’t see each other, like every day of the week or even call each other when you somehow don’t. But regardless he wants you to stay, and he doesn’t mind coming off desperate for once.
The situation at hand is too obviously right in your face.
His ramble that was cut off short by who you made out to be none other than Beomgyu, and then Heeseung was…kind of sweet.
No, it was sweet. He thinks you’re really pretty? Not just pretty but really pretty. And smart? And funny? He’s so cute holy shit you could just reach out to pinch his rosy cheeks. But you didn’t and you probably won’t. Because something else caught your attention.
His bulge.
It was too…out there for you to not subtly look down every few filler word Soobin mumbled. You’re not sure what got him to pop a full blown boner. The teasing? You only said a few sentences and showed modest reveal of your boobs. But nevertheless, you try really hard to bite away a smile because holy shit, he really is easy.
And it fucking turns you on. More than it should. And more than it would if it was any other person.
If you felt horny before, you were basically drenched when getting a glimpse of his wide eyes at seeing you on the carpet, on your knees as you’re face to face with his crotch. He seems to freeze for a second before he quickly works to get his headset off, trying to abandon the game completely.
“No.” you say sternly, grabbing his dick through his sweats, “Keep playing.”
He mouths a big ‘what’, nearly whisper shouting, his eyes bulging out. You simply shrug, feeling all too smug, and start to palm him over the fabric. He lets out a sigh of pleasure, shutting his eyes.
“Dude, why the hell are you not moving? Fuck’s wrong with Soobin today?” You hear someone yell.
“If you stop, I stop.” You mouth slowly, and he seems to catch it, hands shaking as he reluctantly picks his controller up again.
“You’re evil.”
To that, you give him a smile, not really denying it. Because maybe you were, knowing how sensitive he is.
You hope Soobin’s mic is as shitty as you’ve heard Hueningkai complain a multitude of times, because if not, he’ll have a very hard time on call with his friends from now on. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s a bragging point to have a girl suck you off while playing video games.
You imagine it’d still be a bit awkward anyway.
“How come you’re so big?” you whisper, more to yourself than him, but he catches it, and still reacts, bucking his hips to your touch, groaning. You click your tongue, pushing him down with one hand, as a warning.
“Don’t move. Don’t take your hands off the controller. And don’t make a sound.” It doesn’t take him long before he nods, obediently fixating his eyes on the tv screen.
You coo at how hard he narrows his eyes, thumbs working its action—but you want him to break. Maybe you really are evil.
And maybe he already was breaking.
He spreads his legs more and more, before lifting his ass off the mattress, already impatiently needy.
“Touch me.” he whispers, only for you to hear.
You raise a brow, huffing out a laugh as you decide that maybe you should stop playing around and pull his sweats down to his ankles. You don’t waste a second to.
When you take in the state of his cock, your mouth could water just at how pretty it looks. You’ve seen it well over a dozen times—over pics, over facetime, in real life, but you’re never not in awe each time. His slit was already bubbling precum, the thickness of his dick eye widening— It’s not like you have small hands either, and yet you still can’t fully wrap your hand around him. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to his size.
And god his tip was swollen red you’re sure if you just so briefly touched it he’d spasm and jizz all over your face. So you’re gentle. Or at least, you make an attempt.
Promptly grabbing his dick again, you could feel him grow heavier when you let it sit on your hand for a second. Soobin sighs into his mic, no doubt briefly catching the attention of his friends.
“Soobin, you’re dripping.” you comment, eyes following the trail of cum running down his length to your hand. It’s more in amusement, how he’s basically on the verge of an orgasm without much from you.
You could tell he’s using his last bits of patience to not just outright fuck into your fist, and it fascinates you. You start slowly dragging your hand on his shaft, made easier to navigate with his ridiculous amount of pre cum working as lube.
You watch as he adjusts his position subtly a few times, knowing that he’s trying to keep from slipping out any whines, pursing his lips. But his eyes betray him, they looked distant—not focused. “How many kills?” you ask.
“Zero.”
You furrow your brows, pouting as you still your hands. “I’ll speed up with each kill. You have to win for me puppy or I’ll get sad.”
Soobin doesn’t know exactly how he’d aim let alone manage a kill with the way you grip the base of his cock, but he knows that despite the sincerety of your words, he doesn’t like to think that you’d get sad. He so badly wants to make you proud in some way, happy with that glint in your eyes.
So, he gets a kill.
You hear the comments from his friends, passing compliments and you smile, slowly working your hand. “Got a kill.” he says under his breath, trying his hardest to not fall into the urge of shutting his eyes. Because god, you were good.
“Yeah? For me? Get another one puppy.”
A new fire ignites in his chest as he spams buttons, yearning to hear a praise slip from your lips. The way he knits his eyebrows in concentration and had his tongue peeking out was so adorable you almost lose control. Almost.
His breathing picks up as he says, “Another one.”
You get the confirmation he’s saying the truth by his friends again and you start moving your hand unfathomably fast as a reward, your hand getting sticky. “Gooood boy, getting all the kills.”
The sudden speed gets to Soobin, faltering his streak as he holds back choked up groans, head quickly becoming light. “Too much, too much.” he whispers, soft moans slipping through his breathing. You catch the way his hands loosen its grip on the controller and you smirk.
He’s way too easy to break.
“Too much? Should I stop?”
He shakes his head again, this time more frantic. You could make out the sparkly tears threatening to spill—you’re all too familiar with this. “Please don’t.”
“Then what? What do you want me to do?” you ask slowly, wet sounds of your hand working at his dick so dirty.
“Mouth,” he sighs, not controlling the way his hips buck into your hands despite your disapproval. “Want you to put it in your mouth.”
You almost laugh—your mouth? Last time, he barely lasted a second. You’re not doing that. But you’ll tease him about it regardless.
“Put what in my mouth?”
He doesn’t waste a breath. “Cock. My cock.”
You’re not even sure if he muted his mic by now, but the way he says it in that needy, desperate broken voice is so sinful you’re surprised you haven’t jumped his bones. Too bad you won’t give him what he wants—or at least not completely.
You rub your thumb over the head of his dick, dribbles of pre-cum still messily spurting from his slit. He’s not paying attention to the game—no, his eyes were focused entirely on you. You would scold him, but you’re entirely too aroused by the way his mouth basically waters in anticipation.
You maintain eye contact when you dip your head down slowly, an experimental kitten lick on his tip and he immediately thrusts his hip, dick slipping past your lips. You pull back, expecting that exact reaction—and he whimpers. Whimpers.
It’s not hard to pick up on the screaming from his headset, his friends clearly pissed off that hes been in the same spot for well over a minute now, becoming an easy kill to enemies on the other team. “Puppy, how come you’re losing? I thought you were doing well.”
Before he could respond, you tighten your grip on his shaft, and he groans, trying to bite down the noise—maybe he didn’t mute it after all. It’s almost animalistic how he chases your hand.
But you’re not as forgiving now—misbehaving boys get punished. You lick the underside of his dick, dragging the flatness of it up to his head, saltiness of his pre-cum overpowering your tastebuds before pulling back to see Soobin has basically abandoned the game, head thrown back as both his hands grip the sheets under him, letting out broken pitched moans.
You smile, knowing you gave him the impression that you’d put him in your mouth. No, you’re here to have your fun. He peeks through an eye at feeling you do nothing more, and the moment he does, you slap—hard. Maybe a tad bit harder than you intended.
Your aim was his nutsack, balls full of cum you could see he was holding from the week you’ve challenged him to not jerk off, and god—the way his eyes fly open, jaw slacking as his legs spasm, letting out a sound you’ve never heard a man make— you wonder why you haven’t done this sooner.
“You didn’t get off like I told you to right? Good puppy.” He nods frantically, his vision fogging.
He looks so broken, tears streaming down his cheeks faster than you could even take notice of. If his friends didn’t hear him before, they definitely heard him now. He’s a hiccuping mess, nose running when you decide to give him a little more, swirling your tongue around his tip, warm in your mouth— then you pull back before he loses control and starts fucking your mouth.
“Puppy can’t talk? Your friends know how much of a whore you are now…isn’t that embarrassing?” you coo, your hand still jerking him off. “What would they say knowing you’re my little mutt, obeying each and every word like a dog in heat?”
The words are getting to him. He tried to keep quiet for the sake of his pride— anyone knowing how desperate he gets for you is a hit to his ego, it’s embarrassing the amount of things he’d do just for a chance of eating you out, but this spurs him on— having you degrade him, telling him what exactly he is to you. Your obeying dog.
You could see his lips quivering, and notice the tensing of his body. Quickly, you part your hair to the side, take him in your mouth all the way, trying to relax your throat as to not gag when your nose finally presses against his abdomen—but of course you do, it’s hard not to with how thick he is. It doesn’t take a milisecond before you feel his load spilling down your throat, his big hands moving to hold the back of your head, orgasm crashing down like waves of the pacific came over him.
You stay there for a few more seconds, feeling yourself get lightheaded with how much he manages to cum, and even when you pull away with a need to take a deep breath, you see that his dick was still spurting little bits. “Holy shit.” you say under your breath, slightly coughing as you wipe away at the semen that managed to dribble down your chin.
Soobin had a lot stored.
Soobin falls backwards on the bed, chest heaving up and down, trying to catch his breath, some of his hair plastered to his forehead and his temple. There’s a lot of thoughts spinning in his head. And he doesn’t exactly know how to label them. Lazily, he takes his headset off, throwing it to god knows where.
“Hey. Question.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you fuck other people?”
You perk up at the question, the randomness making you stay silent for a bit until you shrug. “No, not really.”
Soobin sighs. He doesn’t know why. Was it relief? Maybe. Probably.
“Do you?” you ask it almost timidly, unknowingly playing with the threads of your ripped jeans. Thank god to Soobin because he answers quickly, not allowing for any space of anxiousness.
“No. Only you.”
You slowly nod, pursing your lips. “Cool.”
“Yeah, very cool,” then his brows furrow at a thought popping up in his head, “Wait, do you like,”
You raise your brows. “Do I what?”
“Like, you know, suck off other guys?”
You scoff, he’s so ridiculous. You don’t even get to see his reaction to your answers, as you’re sitting on the floor and his back is on the mattress. “No Soobin, I don’t suck off other guys. Well, not as of recently. You’re the only one I’ve been doing this with.”
“Oh, o-okay.” You snort at the cute stutter.
Too bad you don’t catch the small ‘good’ he says under his breath.
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note: when i checked the word count I was so shocked we’re keeping that a secret 😭 appreciate any feedback!
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freminet-writings · 6 months
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Alright so this is a Dom! Freminet smut request (He'll technically be a sub at the beginning but yeah) Ok so basically The reader (Preferably Fem or Gender neutral) is being a tease and refusing to let Freminet cum even after he keeps begging the reader they still refuse so, Freminet finally gets tired of the readers teasing and basically like, flips a switch and ends up dominating (and possibly overstimulating) the reader, yeah that's pretty much it, i'm sorry if this doesn't make since it's late where i'm at and i'm half asleep right now.
this is so short sorry i was sleepy writing this 😞 afab reader, i will probably end up writing this again soon because i love the concept im just shit at long smut 😭
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"p-please..." freminet's eyes were glossy, with his cheeks red and stained with tears, you thought he looked so pretty like that, you couldn't help but keep edging him even as he begs over and over
you only chuckled at him, your hand stopping as you delayed yet another orgasm from him, and it only served to make freminet grow tired
your hand reached out to touch him again, but you were suddenly flipped on your bed, making you let out a surprised squeak
freminet's hands held your arms down "freminet! what the-?! let me go!" his hand snaked down, rubbing your clit while he stared into your eyes
you let out a muffled moan "freminet- ah... seriously-" his fingers rubbed harshly "what? sensitive?"
he continued his work on your clit, even as you squirmed under him, trying to refuse the submissive urges, but he kept you pinned down
"how many times did you stop? should i double it for you? or maybe..." his fingers move faster, until he felt your thighs shaking, your breathing coming out heavier
but even though you came, his pace didn't let up "w-what- freminet... mnph-!"
"what? is it too much? are you gonna beg me to stop?" he smirked and leaned forward "too bad"
you tried to hold back but you let a whimper, the pleasure mixing together with the pain, the sensitivity was too much
he laughed at your sounds "that was pathetic, aren't you supposed to be the one with all the power here?" he slipped his fingers inside of you, giving your sensitive clit a break for a moment
still being sensitive from before, you came again, and your eyes shut tightly from the feeling, freminet kept going
"please..." you mumbled "its...too much"
"too much? you only came twice, don't be dramatic" his thumb rubbed you as his fingers thrusted "you've done worse to me, can't you hold out a couple more? for me?"
he whispered in your ear, biting your lobe gently as his pace increased, he leaned forward and grunted "it's my time, don't you think?"
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phoenixyfriend · 1 year
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Post-O66 Mace going into hiding as a pirate with a crew like Hondo's, is that anything?
I got a bunch of input on discord. Calling this one:
A bunch of pirates, a Jedi Master on the run, and a traumatized twelve-year-old.
Kicking off with a key part of it all is @atagotiak (Tia):
He’s annoying because he’s such a stick in the mud (by which I mean it’s rather inconvenient for a pirate crew when the new recruit has morals and stuff) But he’s too valuable to get rid of, due to having all that experience with administration
I am enamored with the idea of Mace's main job being just. Pirate Admin.
Mace: So this is what I am reduced to. Aiding and abetting… in tax evasion. Hondo: And piracy. Mace: The tax evasion is a bigger hit to my pride.
Tia:
The pirates are annoyed that despite him stopping them from going through with the more immoral (and lucrative) plans they’re still making more money than before
Pirates: How are we making more money now-- Mace: Have you heard of a budget.
@jebiknights (knights):
okay but traditionally pirate ships have a quarter master who is high ranking, in charge of the bounty of every prize and therefore in charge of dividing everything up fairly like that could work really well lmaooo
The crew runs into Obi-Wan during the Leia incident and it's just time for "I can explain" on both ends.
Tia:
Hey, d’you think the pirates go after force sensitives? Mace managed to talk them into recruitment and/or relocation instead of selling to the empire. (And that’s another thing that could possibly have worked out better for them than the immoral option (not least because the empire doesn’t really treat its allies well)) Obi-Wan: and how are you dealing with Hondo’s… nonsense? Mace: eh, it’s not like he’s any worse than you or Yoda. (Mace is probably just messing with Obi-Wan. Probably)
Also I'm thinking that one of those initiates that Hondo let go(?) that one time finds them because a pirate might be likely to sell them out but they're demonstrably competent at evading arrest, so maybe-
And that's how Mace ends up with another padawan. Maybe Katooni.
@dracothulhu:
Hondo would put him in so many stupid costumes
knights:
i also just realized that mace loses both of his hands in rots..... hondo tries to convince him at least one of said hands should be a hook or a lightsaber
Tia:
Probably deliberately playing straight man about it. He doesn’t care about dignity that much, but there’s benefits to exaggerate how humiliating he finds it Hey, y’know what’s piratical? Eyepatches
[vibrates in response to baiting for Nick Fury jokes] Love it
Tia:
I do think as much as jokes about Samuel L Jackson’s other roles are fun, pirate Mace shouldn’t swear much, even after becoming acclimated to pirate life.
knights:
also i agree i think pirate mace shouldnt swear much, he should get to use his classically trained acting chops and give dramatic speeches like hes the love interest in a pirate romance novel hondo is swooning in the background .... nixy im about ready to start crack shipping them bc of this dammit this is going to pick at my brain isnt it dhgisrjgser (pirate mace not the hondo/mace part) honestly the funniest thing is that mace would probably really enjoy being a pirate after all of the beauracracy he had to deal with in the senate during the war. things are much more simple even if everyone drives him nuts lol listen mace didn't intend to get directly involved in the actual like heists probably, he is there to lay low and also to keep the ship organized and make sure hondo doesnt blow all their money on booze and "investments", but then hondo's dumbass probably gets in over his head along with his first mate and some other crew members and mace is starting to like the life hes living esp bc he is still able to help people on the Path in between thievery and tax evasion, so he goes to rescue them and is like... what am i supposed to do i am too recognizable i am supposed to be dead and puts on a disguise and just goes for it
Another thing Mace is good at is contracts He is. Painfully good at it. He doesn't enjoy it, but watching Hondo draft up a contract is almost painful. (Hondo is smart at this. He's clever. He's experienced. But he didn't take multiple classes on contract law.)
Tia:
Hondo never seemed especially book smart, and he never made a promise he hadn’t at least considered breaking so contracts would be a weak point for him
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Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go
Chapter 42
here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke
how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink
This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical
oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again
Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame
Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him
Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me
The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it
I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does
and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters
God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time
"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????
Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen
"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???
Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry
Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd
of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits
Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better
Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her
Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore
Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you
I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with
"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier
Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type
Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man
Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."
goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest
"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn
I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange
It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy
What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what
Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters
"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED
Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it
what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much
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luvrcami · 10 months
Text
“QUICKIE IN THE JANITORS CLOSET”
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ethan morales x fem!reader smut
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I sighed as second period ended, walking out of class i wandered around for my boyfriend, Ethan. I shrugged as i couldn’t find him and opened my locker. “Hi baby” I heard his voice, feeling a grip on my waist. I jumped in fear and turned around. “Really Ethan?!” I yelled quietly and slapped his arm playfully. “I missed you” He mumbled as he planted a kiss on my forehead. “It was only one hour” I rolled my eyes jokingly.
“They took you away from me for one hour!” He exclaimed dramatically. I laughed and took my notebooks out of my locker. “I’m thinking of skipping this period..” Ethan said. “Ethan you can’t be skipping classes like that!” I told him as i locked my locker. “I just hate my third period teacher. She’s a bitch” He told me and grabbed my hand as we walked.
“I have Mr shapiro this period” I groaned. “See? Just skip with me this once” He encouraged. “What if we get caught ethan!” I asked him worried. He shrugged. “We won’t” He said, leading me to the unlocked janitors closet. “Okay..” I mumbled as he opened the door for me and entered.
He locked the door and dropped his bag on the floor, i dropped my backpack too. He took steps closer to me and cupped my face with his hand. We glared at each others eyes for a second and he leaned in to kiss me intensely. I felt him smile against my lips. “I love you so fucking much” He whispered in between kisses. “I love you more” I whispered back and kissed him once more. He broke the kiss and tapped my thigh, signaling me to jump. He picked me up by my ass and slammed me against the wall.
We made out a bit more, him biting and sucking on my neck which was already full of hickies i tried covering this morning. I whimpered as he bit my sensitive spot. I pulled him away and he gave me a confused face. I smirked and got down on my knees. “Oh i see what you’re doing” He said.
I unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans and then his underwear. I smirked at seeing how hard i had him. I grabbed his dick and jerked it slowly as he groaned. I leaned in and circled his tip with my tongue. “Quit teasing, Y/n” He warned. I rolled my eyes and slowly took his whole dick in my mouth, sucking up and down. He moaned and grabbed my hair, guiding my head up and down.
“Fuck, you make me feel so good” He moaned quietly. He grabbed my face and titled it up, making me look at him which turned him on even more. “K-keep going im gonna cum” He whimpered. Right when he said that i took his dick out my mouth and got up. “I want you to fuck me” I told him.
He smirked and was quick to slam me against the wall again and remove my shorts and panties. He picked me up and caressed my thighs with his veiny hand. He grabbed his dick and lined it up with my entrance. “Wait you don’t have any condoms?” I asked him with worry. “Oh shit yeah” He dug his hand in his sweater pocket and grabbed a condom. He slid it on him and pushed his tip in which already had me whimpering but he was quick to put his finger over my mouth.
“although i love hearing you call out my name, you don’t want to get caught right?” He said and i nodded, biting my lip. He thrusted in slowly and then started going faster. “E-ethan how am i supposed to keep quiet with you-” I complained but quickly moaned when he hit my G-spot. He smirked cockily and kissed me as he thrusted into me, hitting the same spot. He’s just going harder to get me to moan louder since he loves risks.
“I’m cumming!” I yelled, coming on his dick. “Me too” He bit his lip as he came in the condom. I threw my arms around him and leaned my head on his shoulder, him still being inside me. We breathed loudly, finding comfort in each other’s company. “Ready for round 2 after school?” Ethan joked. I playfully slapped him and laughed. The bell then rang which surprised both of us. “Let’s get to normal” Ethan chuckled, helping me put on my panties.
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weixuldo · 4 months
Text
Allow me// ch 15
Vader x Reader
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a/n: sooo little life update- schools starting back up and i’ll be busier with the cafe and my classes so updates may start to be a bit slower again :( im sorry- but ill try to keep on top of things as much as i can!! also this chapter was written in several diff sessions so im sorry if it doesn’t read well 😭 it’s basically a bunch of miscommunication and misconceptions
A moment of weakness? or just a part of being human?
warnings: cursing, angst, harm, medical procedures, cannon typical violence
_____________________
Vader bit back a scream as he gripped your hand; the droids working on removing his leg ports were not as gentle as you had been with his arms (regardless of the ice water method). 
“It’ll be over soon V, I’m so sorry” you comforted as he trembled. 
The searing pinch of the lasers around his sensitive stumps made him dizzy with pain. He just wanted the melted ports off. 
Once more he gritted his teeth to suppress another howl of anguish.
You clenched your eyes shut at a particularly forceful squeeze; you didn’t want to tell him it hurt because you knew what he was experiencing was far worse. 
He groaned once the droid pulled off the warped metal from what remained of his legs and threw them into the disposal bin.
The droid moved away to prepare the new ports, allowing Vader a moment to breathe. 
He exhaled a shaky breath and loosened his grip on you; he saw the red marks on your hand where his just was and felt guilty. This was not your fight, you shouldn’t have to help him through this when you weren’t even involved.
A part of him also was just embarrassed that he was so vulnerable right now, especially in front of you. 
He needed to be the strong and fear-striking sith he normally was- not only for himself, but for you too.
What if you didn’t like this side of him?
Of course in the past you told him you liked all of him, vulnerable, strong, and everything in between- but that was before you saw him when he truly needed help. 
This was still your first time seeing him fully out of his suit, seeing him have to ask for assistance with every little task, seeing him human. 
What if you were pitying him? Did you think of him as a burden now? 
He shut his eyes once he saw the droid returning, hopefully this wouldn’t be as bad since it was just putting on new ports rather than tearing old ones off. 
The ends of his legs ached much more than his arms; the droid had to sear off some of the skin around the metal and a bit higher on his thigh to fully remove everything.
His legs were also much more affected by the lava and flames based on the position he was thrown in. 
Vader sucked in a sharp breath as he felt the droid running disinfectant over his open wounds. You reached for his hand to hold once you saw he was shaking again but he snatched his arm from you dramatically. 
Vader didn’t mean to do it so harshly- he had problems with dexterity and motor skills when he was out of the suit- he was just so worried you wouldn’t be the way you were before he left if he continued to let you see him in such a vulnerable state. 
He needed to salvage the remaining image of a strong leader you still had left of him. 
He needed to do this alone. 
You, on the other hand, felt saddened by his action- all you wanted to do was be there for him, comfort him…
Even if it were a stupid notion; you wanted to be the one person in the galaxy the Sith lord could always count on… maybe even the only one to love.
Of course it was foolish to think he could love you the way you wanted him to… but you could try. 
Despite your efforts, he pulled away… were you becoming too clingy? Were you smothering him?
You fretted over the hypotheticals as you backed away from his table. 
You watched the muscles in his jaw clench with every movement of the droid- he was in so much pain and all you wanted to do was take it away for him… but apparently he didn’t want you to. 
Once the droid got the first port secured you exited the room silently. Best to give him some space.
 Vader sensed your exit and felt saddened at your absence- why did you leave? Were you really that disgusted with him? 
He had a familiar wave of shame as he heard the steel doors slide closed behind you; would you come back if he called for you?
No.
He needed to do this alone, plus it was probably for the better, he didn’t want you to gain more aversion towards him than you apparently already had.
As he endured the operation on his leg and thoughts of you leaving him; he felt the uncomfortable sensation of bile rising in the back of his throat. 
Now it was definitely a good thing you weren’t here. 
He closed his eyes again and tried to quell the urge… so what if you didn’t reciprocate his feelings? He was Darth Vader, lord of the Sith- you couldn’t  say no to him. He could end you-
The contents of his tired stomach emptied themself as Vader rolled onto his side. There wasn’t much for him to lose, but the motion of his esophagus simply wouldn’t stop. He gagged and heaved on his side as he imagined “ending you”.
Even if you truly hated him and posed a threat to his empire, he couldn’t kill you… he wouldn’t be able to.
It made him physically sick to think about your death. You meant too much-
It would break his heart…
Once he gained his bearings another droid came to his aid offering a towel and oxygen. It cleaned his chest and his mess before the original resumed the operation. 
He’d have to talk to you eventually… he couldn’t keep letting his mind wander. 
____________________
Outside of the exam room you sat quietly; hands fidgeting in your lap. You were so worried about Vader that it never occurred to you that he might not want you there.
You just assumed- maybe that was foolish of you. 
You cringed as you heard his muffled cries while the bot secured the his new port. It was hard for you not to immediately rush to his side but you reminded yourself to restrain. 
After a while you felt the familiar pull of Vader’s force signature- guess he wanted to speak with you now. You prepared yourself to face whatever mood was waiting for you behind the metal door. 
Vader was testing his temporary limbs when you entered; he sat up attentively and watched as you cautiously walked towards him. 
“Why did you leave?” he asked as if he didn’t act like your presence annoyed him ten minutes ago.
“I just thought I wasn’t helping you much by standing here and I felt that my presence was not wanted, I’m sorry sir” you accidentally added the title, making Vader cringe- back to formalities…
“Sir” he echoed. 
Your eyes widened and corrected yourself “My apologies… “my Lord””. 
Vader chewed on the inside of his cheek at your reaction- he knew you didn’t mean it in a facetious way; he could tell you were genuinely on edge. 
“Please, do not revert to titles again- I… did not intend to be so brash with you” he said as his eyes intensely scanned your face. 
“Of course, It is no problem at all, you were perfectly fine” you responded shortly. 
He knew you were just trying to not upset him- stepping on eggshells. That's exactly what he didn’t want; he didn’t want to intimidate you into telling him what you thought he wanted to hear (he had a whole galaxy of subjects to lie to him on the daily, he didn’t need that from you too). 
Sure, he wanted to preserve the strong leader image he had for you, but he also wanted you to be comfortable to talk to him on the same level- to trust him. 
Vader focused his energy and watched your relieved face once his force signature descended warmly over you; this was his way of offering you comfort (since he wasn’t completely sure how you felt about his body in this state).
As you felt the warm sensation wash over your body, a small sigh escaped your lips. He seemed regretful- sympathetic- apologetic even?
You were just so caught up in his fragile state that you may have hovered a bit too much- it was only because you cared for the sith so much. It was probably best to distance yourself.
“Would you like me to stay or shall I go?” you asked with a small smile. 
Vader’s brow bone quivered as his eyes called for you (he desperately wanted you to stay but he was too ashamed to admit his desire). 
“Do as you wish.”
“I believe I will take my leave then”. 
You cast your gaze to the floor and blinked back a few tears before managing to meet his eyes again. You didn’t speak; your eyes were glassy and held an expression that could not read. His blood ran cold. 
Nothing was exchanged for a few moments- only intense eye contact. 
“I disgust you” Vader's weak, raspy voice managed, breaking the terrible silence. 
“Vader-” you said softly, watching his eyes transition between yellow and blue. 
“Have I ruined us? This is what I was worried about- I never should have allowed you to get this close- I never should have let you in” he monologued (more-so to himself than anyone else).
“I was a fool to think you would want to stay by my side after you had seen my reality- I am broken… But I never wanted you to witness my incompetence... my weakness”.
His face contorted into a pained grimace and his voice became more hoarse than it already was; you could tell that tears would have been forming if his tear ducts weren’t burnt from past wounds. 
“Vader-” you called once more as you walked towards him slowly. 
He looked frightened as you cupped his cheek with one of your hands. 
“You have done none of these things. You do not disgust me and never have”.
He inhaled sharply as your thumb brushed over his scarred cheek. You bent down to kiss his forehead when he grabbed your other hand with his robotic ones. His eyes were purely blue when he searched yours once more. 
“Then why did you leave?” his voice was wavering with each syllable. 
Your brows furrowed for a moment, “what do you mean, V?”.
The nickname was a relief to his ears, but he pressed on, “Just a moment ago- the droids were working on my legs…”. 
“I assumed you didn’t want me here… you snatched your hand from me-”
Vader closed his eyes and rested his head against your chest. 
“I… have mobility issues whenever I am out of my suit for long periods of time” he said.
“I see, but why- why did you pull away in the first place- I know you intended to, I felt it”. 
“Would you be content if I were to tell you it was because I was trying to protect our relationship- or arrangement (or whatever the fuck we are)”.
You shook your head and he tilted his head towards yours, “No V, I wouldn’t”.
He sighed and sat up straight. 
“I was afraid that you were pitying me… I was afraid you would no longer desire me the way I do you. I thought if I pushed you away that you may not have to see me in such a state for much longer” he admitted, holding tightly onto your hands. 
He really was just a broken man with anxieties just like you- his vulnerability did not avert you from him; if anything it endeared you to him- he was making an effort to connect with you. He trusted you. 
“You could have just told me-”
“No! I couldn’t have- I… I’m not good with managing my thoughts and emotions, or conveying them at least'' he sulked before you tilted his jaw towards you and kissed him softly. 
“I think you’re doing a pretty good job- It really means the galaxy to me that you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone… for me” you said softly before kissing his cheeks. 
“Vader… I will always belong to you, we do not need to define us if you do not wish to- just know, no other being in the galaxy could captivate me the way you do… I am solely devoted to you”. 
Vader felt dizzy at your confession; you were truly loyal to him and that’s all he’d ever wanted (or so he thought).
But he couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his skull… he wanted more… he wanted love. 
“Now, we have some time before the emperor comes by for your inspection, right?” you asked, walking towards the droid that just finished his operation. 
Vader cleared his scratchy throat and nodded, “He shouldn’t be here for at least another five hours. Why do you ask?”.
You powered off the droid and turned back towards the man on the operating table, “because I think you should get some rest”.
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep-”
“Not in here, I want you to actually get good sleep” you said, preparing a cloak for him. 
You helped him put his arms through the sleeves and loosely tied the robe around his waist (careful to not make it too tight around his still healing skin).
After giving him a small kiss to his cheek you helped him dawn a portable oxygen mask that looked almost identical to the black mask he wore in his bacta tank. 
You pulled the large hood over his head and took one of his metallic hands in yours as you headed for the door. 
“What are you doing?” he asked in a hushed tone. 
“Just follow me” you whispered, ducking around the corner. 
Luckily Vader’s chambers weren’t surveilled by the ship’s general command center- so it was easy to sneak him around without worrying about the cameras. 
Before you entered the general corridor you told him to disconnect the cameras until the two of you passed. He was tired and agreed because he didn’t feel like arguing- with a simple flick of his mechanical wrist he intercepted the surveillance links and made them blurry as the two of you made your way to the end. 
Before he could ask where you were taking him again you quickly pulled him into a room and shut the door. He removed the hood and took in his surroundings- he was in your room. 
“Why-”
“I know you wouldn’t have been able to relax on that stiff table, at least here you can have something comfortable to lie on” you said, turning on the warm bedside lamp. 
You guided him to the edge of your bed and helped him undress; the whole time he watched you in awe. You were so thoughtful, so tender, so wonderful. 
“Here, I'll turn the pressure up” you said, removing the tight mask from his scarred face. 
Once he was finally situated you pulled your blankets over him; they were a bit short for his tall frame, but his legs really didn’t need the warmth (the prosthetics had no temperature sensors).
His tired eyes blinked slowly as he felt the exhaustion catching up with him. He tried to fight it as much as he could because he desperately wanted to spend more time with you- but he also really did need sleep. 
Vader was positioned in the middle of your bed and you were perched on the side near his abdomen. You could feel his energy draining by the second (the force bond you shared was sensitive, yet strong). 
“Sleep well Vader” you cooed as you caressed the side of his face.
He reveled in the soft gentle brush of your beautiful hands. He wanted to stay awake- he wanted to hold you.
“Will you be here when I wake, My Darling?” he rasped out. 
A smile replaced the neutral look on your face- maybe it was just his delirium but he had never used such an endearing term with you.
Sure, he called your “My Dear” but it wasn’t the same as “My Darling”. 
Before you could respond the Sith had succumbed to his exhaustion; chest rising and falling steadily (though you could still hear the wheezing of his damaged lungs). 
In your head you reviewed the events that transpired today- he was really trying for you, something the Sith wouldn't go out of his way to do for just anybody.
You mulled over your emotions and actions towards him and his to you today...Maybe his feelings towards you weren't as different as yours.
Slowly you leaned down to plant a gentle kiss onto his forehead and got up cautiously (careful not to wake him),
“Of course- I will always be here, my Love”. 
***
a/n: well well well- what do we have here?? are they finally going to admit their feelings towards eachother? who knowsss- ngl i don’t have a definite plan for this fic but i hope it’s still enjoyable and coherent for u all haha
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ghostl0re · 3 months
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this is just for fun this post is not to be taken as a complete reality of his personality. astrology is a hobby for me i study it and read charts for fun so im not an expert. also this post was written based on his chart with NO houses.
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(images for mere representation of his energy)
moon (moon tri. mars, moon sext. uranus and neptune, moon tri. pluto; magnetic, attractive, he could be able to read people easily and may want constant change) and mercury (mercury tri. mars; energetic, loves to learn, active) in pisces honestly i can sense it in his interviews. may appear shy. he feels a lot, there was this interview where he said he connected spiritually w Numa...yeah. he's sensitive. VERY. an empath.
venus in aries im not surprised you can actually see it in certain videos with a certain person (iyyk) (venus sq. mars, venus opp. jupiter, venus sq. uranus, neptune; commitment problems, low self-esteem, sweet person regardless) he kinda needs constant stimulation or he'll get bored but when he loves he goes all in and with passion (im not gonna talk about the s3xúal stuff cuz i feel like im crossing a line lol i respect him) if he's not interested in someone believe me YOU'LL KNOW
sun in aries like are we surprised? he's sooo confident also prob very flirty, FUN, a leader, impulsive and definitely energetic (sun opp. jupiter, sun tr. pluto; could have a big ego and is also an influential person, if we read his chart w gemini rising he has sun conj. moon; caring person) let's not forget all that aries chaotic energy like sarcasm, wanting to do everything fast in life, thinking they're always right, being judgemental, optimistic, bursts of energy, wanting attention or getting over things easily, honest AF lol
mars in cancer soo passive-agressive and a protector of those he loves, loyal, moody, sensitive and just nice overall. (mars sq. jupiter, mars opp uranus, neptune; bro gets the work done but could be unpredictable, dramatic, could be one of those people that just loses their shit just chaotic overall, cancer helps A LOT tho)
jupiter in libra popular, charismatic, creative, kind he's great w the arts but i think we already knew that lol he could have a lot of luck in the arts and look at him now, everyone loves him
saturn in aquarius a leader, responsible, secretive, loyal and confident he gets the work done (saturn sq. pluto; he could be stubborn af, face hard challenges, etc. could get dark but also very good cuz it makes him a resilient person)
uranus and neptune in capricorn (generational planets) hard working, determined, responsible, wants success, independent. (uranus conj. neptune, uranus sext. pluto, neptune sext. pluto; strong personality, curious mind, imaginative, could be curious in spiritual topics)
pluto in scorpio (generational planet) remember Bayona used to say Enzo had this mysterious energy? pluto in scorpio could be one of the many reasons (f.e his pisces moon) why he seems mysterious, he could feel a lot since is a water sign, emotional, MAGNETIC but this planet as well as uranus and neptune are more about a whole generation.
lilith in pisces bro he's super and i mean SUPER intuitive, EMPHATIC and creative (he has A LOT of water in his chart) he has a vivid imagination but it also signifies addictions or anxiety (i wont be diving into it tho) lilith in pisces could mean self-sabotage tendencies, excesssive tendencies (in anything), lives in their head, trust issues, escapism and repress their emotions. and that's all because this placement feels A LOT is always connected with everyone and everything.
chiron in leo he has the wound of talent he prob thinks he's not talented enough he actually thought he was gonna get fired many times lmfao
summary: he's very VERY emotional person. i almost drowned looking at his chart, water king. water makes him a super sensitive dude, his fire placements make him more energetic and confident, he's emotional, spontaneous, fun, energetic, down to earth, unpredictable, expressive, ambitious, spiritual, sensitive and impulsive, reads people like a book, he feels deeply, most likely an empath. i would say that the reason he's captivating are his pisces placements (if i knew his birth time this would be so much more detailed) he probably had (or has) anxiety and self-doubt thoughts i see him more of an ambivert kind of person, you can see in his interviews and even in his insta posts how deep and sensitive he is but also his fiery combination, he just seems fun. overall he's a super cool dude i like his energy a lot, he's very magnetic. im gonna say a weird thing but he kinda reminds me of getaway car (yes...the taylor swift song, wanna know the specific part of the song that reminds me more of him? after the bridge, when piano intensifies loll)
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note: im not including his north and south node cuz they're more specific depending on the house they land, i would love to know his birth time to get more specific things but alr
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ppnuggie · 1 year
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Hello, I saw that requests are open, so may I have headcanons of Bayverse Optimus prime, Drift, Ironhide, and, Jazz with a female human s/o who bottles up her emotions, 'cause she's scared that s/o will only look like a burden, being somebody to "put up with", s/o acts like this because when she was younger her family members who call her "sensitive" or "dramatic" when it comes to s/o's feelings, they even neglect s/o about how she feels. If this request feels too bothering for you to write, feel free to ignore this, and I hope that you'll carry on well with school :)
      BAYVERSE x fem human reader
    『 optimus ,, drift ,, ironhide ,, jazz ,, female human reader 』
  -> bots w/ fem human s/o who bottles their emotions
  — fluff ,, sfw ,, angst ,, few tws
  — here you go 😎🙏 im trying my best w/ school but its kinda trash tbh 🙄 the only thing that makes it worthwhile is hearing my english teacher talk about how hot megan fox is 💀💀
optimus prime ::
��� hes used to this ,, seeing those around him hide their true feelings ,, its often seen due to the war ,, and it brings him grief to see that those around him act this way
• though he knows that humans are more prone to actually show how they feel ,, yet hes come across a few cases where thats not what it is
• you just happen to be one of those ,, where you dont show how you truly feel to those around you
• when he confronts you about it ,, his spark aches at the truth ,, quick to reassure and comfort you that thats not the case
• you dont burden him at all ! nor does it make you sensitive or dramatic ,, it makes you human ,, makes you sentient and makes you who you are
• he holds you close during those times ,, when you happen to loosen up a bit and cry silently ,, hes there for it and reminds you that no matter what others say ,, hes glad you trust him enough to show these feelings
• hes glad that youve opened up to him about this ,, and hes right there for you through it all
jazz ::
• jazz is one of the few who actually doesnt mind showing how he feels or what he thinks ,, its what makes him who he is
• that doesnt mean hes seen those who dont act that way ,, and youre no exception
• he’s more than quick to tell you that he wont think of you in such a way ,, that he wont see you as a burden or dramatic
• when you do become open about your feelings ,, hes more than proud of you for doing so
ironhide ::
• ironhide happens to do it sometimes ,, where he keeps his feelings locked up ,, but only when it’s necessary
• he acts and talks how he feels when its needed ,, speaks for himself and how he feels about something
• and if you happen to do this ,, he’ll help speak for you on some parts ,, if you allow him
• he wont push you to show how you truly feel ,, but he’s definitely there for you whenever you wish to show your true feelings
• he savors the nights when you do ,, when you loosen up and play around a bit ,, it brings him joy to see you happy for once
drift ::
• hes more calm and collected than others ,, though he doesnt hide his emotions ,, and from being around three certain autobots (hound - crosshairs - bumblebee) ,, hes used to seeing those express their feelings quite often
• so upon learning that you hide them ,, hes shocked ,, and wants to know why ,, yet he doesnt push
• he knows that humans are emotional by nature ,, that they show their emotions quite often ,, yet there are times where that isnt the case
• when you do trust him enough to tell him the reason behind it ,, he comforts you ,, spark sadden at what you went through
• he’ll hold you and hush you ,, saying its not true and he wouldnt think any different of you ,, but he wont push you to force your feelings
• when you happen to show them around others ,, he stays silent yet hes happy and proud for you
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