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#[shrek voice] they cant even afford therapy
one-way-dream
·
2 years
Text
oughg sorry
#was able to cry a little for the first time in weeks and it worked for a bit but now im. feeling kinda wack again
#wish my depression could let me do things to get feelings out but i had to be cursed w executive dysfunction
#biting and killing and maiming
#i dont want to be whiny about it but aughfhffnghd
#when barely anything sparks joy it is hard everything feels hard
#i am tired of waking up like this but i don't really. have a right to complain
#everything just makes me retreat further into myself i am tired
#i don't really know why but i am
#i dont think i was able to get the past year out of my system properly and
#i keep having dreams about my sister and i and i keep waking up disturbed or anxious or sick or angry or annoyed
#weird ass state of burnout and every day i wake up and go through the exact same cycle of just
#trying to keep myself calm until i inevitably shut down from something minor in the afternoon and the intrusive s/h thoughts drive me insane
#then the rest of my day is ruined so like a solid 12 hours until i can. be stable-ish again
#i cannot even do things to get my mind off of it other than brain numbing shit like lets plays on yt
#[shrek voice] they cant even afford therapy
#something wrong with me and i cannot rly figure out what or if im being overly sensitive n dramatic about everything
#nothing is even Happening irl and things are completely normal and fine for the first time in months snd yet?
#jesus christ . WHY.
#o|-< oughg
#tee.xt
#vent /
#personal /
#sory for farty rocking ill probably delete later if i remember
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