#im BOUT SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF THIS MOM

[cryptic-michael]

My mom: Should there be trans representation in kids shows?

Me: *paniced bevuse I can't say anything* uuuhhhhhhhhh I dunno......

Her: Well I'm all open for teaching your kids to be open minded, that's how we raised you! But if you push it onto them when they are little bity!! Thrn they will be abused by people!

Me trying to figure out how the FUCK showing trans and other things = child abuse.

#im BOUT SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF THIS MOM #'oh but!! but trans people are sick and weird!' ?!?!??!????????? #SO FUCKING PISSED THIS IS LIEK THE 8TH TIME THIS WEEK! #'ohh let me be horribly transphobic! but say that i agree with them!' you really arnt.. #'oh i knkw SOME do that hut i dont get it who would want to do that! and thease you people all want to jump on the band wagon-' THATS NOT!! #THATS NOT HOW THAT FUCKING WORKS!!!!!! #'Jumping on thr ban wagon' NO??? like even if they ARE its more of like a short journy to explore themselves??? and rhey junp off?? THE #THE FUCKING WAGON THATS WHAT FALLING OFF THE WAGON MEANS I MEAN SHIT #OR SOMETHING FUCK I DUNNO #anyway im very upset! and woule love to see more gay and trans rep in kids media fuck yeah! #give me blues clues talking about a trans thing or a gay cat #or like.....something #i dont remember that meny kids shows i watched like.... #ruff ruffman....and the backyardagens....and kipper thr dog... #clifford too... #aaaaa....a few others... #hellow kitty but i still like hello kitty stuff... #yeah imboutta kids ideas i dunno but give me gay stuff to piss people off.

[necroromantics]

🧺 — Laundry And Taxes

chapter 8. // (masterlist)

AN: MB BOUT THE WAIT Ive been adjusting to new medication but Im getting the ball rolling again. Im gonna try and post daily or every other day :]

Toby awoke the next morning to the muffled sound of arguing coming from the living room. It sounded as if somebody was fighting over the phone. Sluggishly, Toby walked out of his room to see what was going on. As he quietly lingered in the entrance, he saw his mother crying to herself as she continued to quietly fight with whoever was on the other end of the call.

“Mom? What's wrong?” Toby called out, causing Connie to jump and quickly hang up.

“Nothing, sweetie,” she assured softly as she wiped her tears and stood up to head into her bedroom. Toby watched her for a moment, trying to push down the worry he had felt.

He made himself a bowl of cereal before sitting down on the couch, turning on the TV to a slasher film which had been playing on a channel for Halloween. As Toby watched the killer brutally hack a woman to pieces, the boy’s face scrunched in disgust.

‘That's not accurate at all, come on’ he thought to himself as he took another bite of his breakfast.

As he gulped down his cereal, he couldn’t help but put himself in the position of the killer on the screen. Toby couldn’t help but imagine himself as the one to drill that knife into the chest of the pleading victim. He couldn’t stop from wandering into the terrifying depths of the decayed forest in his mind. Hatchet in his hand, huffing as drool drips from the deep gash in his cheek, blood staining his shoes. His dishes clattered as he dropped them into the sink, turning on the water to rinse them off. Running his hands under the cool downpour, Toby’s gaze turned over to a small orange container hiding behind the toaster on the kitchen counter. His brow creased as he turned off the tap and grabbed the bottle, quickly realizing it was full of pills. The boy tilted his head slightly — he hadn’t refilled his medication in months. As his eyes scanned over the label, he could feel a strange sort of sickness bubbling up from his chest and into his throat.

Toby swung open the door to his mothers room, causing her to take a seated position from the bed she had been laying on.

“Are these yours?” He asked, holding up the bottle of antidepressants. Connie rushed over to the boy and grabbed the pills from his hand.

“Where did you get this?” She demanded to know, guilt pouring from her eyes.

“I found them on the counter. Who were you on the phone with earlier? Was it Frank?”

Toby’s voice got louder as his mother stayed silent. The boy let out an exasperated sigh as he stared at the woman who promised she was done with that man for good.

“Are you fucking kidding me? After everything he did?” He began to shout as Connie did nothing but avoid looking her boy in the eyes, shame dancing on her aged face, her eyes more tired than usual. Toby scoffed and left the room, closing her bedroom door hard behind him, and storming out of the house.

He hadn’t thought about where he was going, his feet were moving faster than his mind. It was almost instinct for the boy to end up at the park, standing by the edge of the forest which surrounded the area. Toby sighed as he took a seat on an empty park bench, leaning back as he attempted to collect himself. The sound of children's laughter filled the crisp October air, the trees had begun to drop their orange and golden leaves, forming decaying piles of foliage on the ground below the swaying branches. He turned his head over to the playground as he made a mental note of the families chatting amongst themselves.

Toby watched as a father pushed his young daughter on the swing. The boy assumed the girl must’ve been starved at home, judging by her small size. He looked over to the monkey bars and saw a middle school boy call out to his parents to watch him cross over the bars. Toby thought to himself that the boy must be looking for attention in public because his parents would never give him the time of day at home. They must spend all their time arguing, he thought. It made him sick, watching all of these families feign innocence. He knew the truth, Toby knew the types of things that happened behind the scenes with people like this. He had seen it back in the old world, and back in the place he grew up in. He knew that behind the smiles and laughter, behind the childsplay and parental praise, there was only violence. At least he had the balls to admit it, he thought to himself as he stared bitterly at the people around him. Once again, Toby had felt as though he was deemed nothing but a leper. Sick, cruel, rejected. The autumn heat was gentle as the warm rays danced on his pale skin. He couldn’t seem to take deep breaths, his chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself slowly. He didn’t understand why the park choked him, devoured him whole. Toby thought that it must have been because he was so close to the forest.

Suddenly, his maggot-filled train of thought came to a halt as Toby noticed a little boy awkwardly standing idle beside him. He grimaced as he looked over to the child, who was holding something in his hands.

“What do you want,” Toby muttered, looking annoyed at the presence of the boy. Without a word, the small, sickly looking youth placed a rock into Toby’s hand and then proceeded to run off back to his mother, who had been watching closely the entire time.

Confusion took over his initial repulsion as he glanced down to examine the gift. It was a regular rock, there was nothing special about it. Toby looked up once more, and watched as the young boy quietly clung to his mothers side, standing close towards her leg, not daring to play with the other kids. His mother chatted with another lady who had also brought her child to the playground that warm weekend afternoon, laughing over the latest gossip. Toby felt himself being overtaken by a feeling he hadn’t felt since that night on the porch with Jack, back in Mississippi. Something he didn’t have a name for. It felt like a heavy coat, or like a quiet prayer that somebody you love would linger in the doorway a bit longer before they took their leave. He squeezed the rock in his hand and tried to shake off the weight that washed over him and stood up, making his way back home.

The walk back to his house was quiet. The subtle ambience of nature and man mingled in a harmonized symphony; there was a pair of siblings putting out decorations for the quickly approaching Halloween, and a few cars whizzed past the boy. He tried not to think about what would’ve happened to them if they had met him while he was still branded with the mark of a proxy.

As he opened the front door, he noticed his mother humming along to the radio as she washed dishes and prepared for dinner. Neither of them said a word as the boy silently shuffled past, and headed into his room. Toby placed the rock the young boy had given him on the surface of his dresser, sitting it neatly beside the portrait of his family.

The following day, Toby found himself shopping with his mother, following her around mindlessly, lost in his own thoughts. As they passed the home renovation section, he eyed the axes locked onto the wall, ignoring most of what Connie had been saying to him. Something about how the pipe under the sink had been leaking, something about what to make for dinner. Something about a clock. Taken by surprise at the word, Toby’s heart skipped a beat, it nearly knocked the wind out of him.

“What?” He asked.

“We need to get you a new clock,” Connie repeated. Toby remembered that he had destroyed his previous one, and shook the shock off. The uneasiness took hold of him.

“No, it’ll be fine.”

On the drive back home, Toby had gotten himself excited over a box of candy he had bought for himself, though he knew deep down his sister would take half of it as soon as he took his eyes off of it. It was some sick revenge of hers for all of the years he would steal her Halloween candy. He looked out the window at all of the passing buildings of the city, listening to the music playing on the radio. As the song faded out and the next one chimed in, he immediately recognized the sound, and his heart dropped. Toby quickly scrambled to turn it off, feeling the same sense of dread squeezing his chest as he did in the store.

“What was that for? I thought you loved that band,” Connie asked, glancing over at her son who looked as if he was going to be sick.

“Not anymore.”

The band that had been playing was Three Days Grace, he had loved their music since their first album. The girl he knew as Natalie loved their music as well. It was something they typically bonded over. He would secretly try to impress her by stealing CDs or downloading their music onto his MP3 player. Toby hoped the car ride would end soon, he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He didn’t care for clocks, or Three Days Grace. He didn’t want anything to do with her, and insisted to himself that it was better off if she had died alongside that forest in the old world. There was little to no chance she had made it into the new world anyways, there was no use in dwelling.

Over the next few days, Toby asked his mother for homework to do to keep himself busy. She had printed out a large booklet on various math and sciences, which he had gotten a quarter way through. The boy sat at his desk, tapping his pencil against the table as he bounced his leg. He was never good at math or science. He hated all the rules and logistics. Toby couldn’t force his mind to focus on the nonsense questions as much as he wanted to. He stared down at his empty paper for a moment before looking up through his bedroom window, peering out at the dark nightly forest that draped around his backyard. There was a burning desire within him, like he was missing something. He was unable to stop his mind from wandering into the past again. Toby thought about Natalie, and the last time he had seen her. She had forced him to make a decision, that he would come with her and leave everything behind, to get out while they still could, or to stay in that forest and watch her as she left. Being the stubborn boy that he was, Toby told her off, shouted that she didn’t understand, demanded that she leave him anyways, because he was better off without her nagging. And she did. Without screaming, or fighting, she left him alone in that abandoned cabin that they had made into their wreckage of a home.

She didn’t want anything to do with him or the life he lived. Natalie wanted better for herself, and Toby knew that wasn’t realistic. He knew better than anyone that there is no life outside of the warzone. He knew the bitter truth that you cannot make a human being out of a weapon.

Toby groaned and leaned back into his seat. Even when she was gone, that girl haunted him. She tortured his sleep, overtook his thoughts. All he wanted now was to be free from her. And a small part of him only wanted to see her again. That small part quietly hoped that somehow, by some miracle, she wanted to see him again too.

“Haven’t you taken enough from me?” He whispered out quietly. Toby closed his weary eyes for a moment, and the only thing he could picture was how she looked when she was mad at him. The way she glared at him with her one good eye, the way her brows creased, her shoulders raised. The way she crossed her arms and scoffed. The tone of voice when she told him to shut up or to watch his mouth. Frustrated, Toby dropped his head onto his desk with a thud and grumbled to himself before lifting himself up and grabbing his cellphone.

He hesitated before punching in digits to a familiar phone number. It rang for a moment as Toby waited impatiently, until he heard a click as the man on the other end of the call picked up.

“Hey Brian, it’s me.”

“Toby? What do you want man, it’s past midnight,” Brian groaned, audibly having just been woken up.

“Do you have any information on Natalie? Where she grew up, where she might be?”

“Jesus christ, go to sleep.”

“I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t important man, please just help me out,” Toby pleaded.

Brian sighed to himself for a moment, “I’ll figure something out for you tomorrow, alright? Get to bed already.”

Toby smiled victoriously to himself as he hung up the call, heading over to his bed. He thought to himself as he laid his head onto the pillow, that maybe, the girl would finally stop tormenting him if he saw her again and got the last word. The world around him was quiet as he drifted off to sleep.

That night, he fell into a dream where he sat on an old, stained and torn mattress in an abandoned cabin which was full of smoke. Beside him, sat Natalie.

“What’re you doing here, Toby?”

“I came here to see you Nat, I came all this way to find you.”

The two found themselves standing face to face in a snowy wasteland, smoke was rising from her mouth and draped around her face, covering her like a mask.

“Don’t you know how to leave me alone? I don’t ever want to see you again.” Mountains of ash and smog poured out as Natalie spoke. She turned around, and began to walk away from the boy, leaving bloody footprints as she left. Toby followed after her, but was weighed down by something, and could only drudge through the heavy snow as the distance between them grew further and further.

“Nat, come back! Fuck! Stop walking away, don’t be a pussy about this,” he shouted out. The girl's tall silhouette disappeared into the horizon, and Toby stood still in the snow, anger burning through him like a wildfire.

“Fuck you, you stupid bitch! You always do this shit, I’m fucking done with it!”

As he screamed out, Toby jolted awake, breathing heavy through the sting of lingering anger. His empty heart was beating fast as he placed a hand over his chest, falling back onto his bed. The sun began to rise, lightening the skies of dawn. He closed his eyes again as he fell back asleep.

Later in the morning, Toby awoke to a soft knock on his bedroom door, and his mother calling out that there’s someone on the phone for him. The boy quickly went over to grab the phone from her hand, closing his door behind him.

“Your mom sounds like a sweet lady,” Brian teased through the phone.

“Shut up dude. Do you have anything for me?” Toby asked, still half-asleep.

Brian told the boy that he had found a ‘Natalie Ouellette’ residing in a small town in North Dakota, but that he couldn’t confirm she’s the one that Toby was looking for.

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“I know.”

Toby ended the call and quickly scribbled down the information Brian provided before it slipped his mind. He decided that he was going to take the chance and head to North Dakota as soon as he could. There was no more time to be wasted. To him, it was comparable to a bandaid that needed to be ripped off.

Toby sat at the dinner table later that evening, picking at his food as he listened to his sister share about her day at work. He had already begun to pack his bag, and mapped out a route to take. He wanted to be gone by the end of the week, and didn’t know how to break the news to his family.

“Uh, mom… I know I just got back home, but I have an old friend I need to visit in North Dakota,” Toby mumbled to himself, staring down at his plate of food to avoid the looks his mother and sister were giving him. Connie raised an eyebrow at the boy as Lyra glanced over at him, taking another bite of her dinner slowly.

“She’s a good friend of mine, and I-”

“She?” Lyra blurted out, mouth full of food. Toby looked up at his mother, who gave Lyra a nudge to mind her manners.

“What’s her name?” Connie said, interlocking her fingers and feigning excitement.

“Uh… Natalie.”

“You met her before right? She’s not just some creepy old guy you met on the net?” Lyra asked, leaning into the conversation.

“Yes Lyra, she’s a real person. Is it really so hard to believe I have a friend who’s a girl? Jesus you guys.”

“No no sweetie, it’s not that. Just, wow, all the way up north? She must be a very good friend,” his mother spoke as she continued to work at her food. Toby furrowed his brow as he ate.

“Yeah. She’s my best friend.”

After an awkwardly long dinner, Lyra went into her room, and Connie continued the conversation with her boy as they cleaned off the table.

“When are you leaving?” She asked softly.

“I was hoping sometime tomorrow, or the day after.”

His mothers eyes widened with a hint of sorrow.

“That soon? How are you getting there?”

“Probably just hitch hike,” Toby said as he placed the last of his dishes into the sink.

“You know, aunt Lori almost got killed doing that.”

“I’ll be fine mom, I know how to handle myself.”

As Toby attempted to brush his mother off, she put her foot down and stood in front of him, placing a wad of cash from her purse into his hands and squeezing.

“Use this money for a train and something to eat, please.”

“I don’t want your money, I promise I’ll be fine.”

“Please Toby, you know my heart can’t take anymore worrying.”

Toby looked into his mothers pleading eyes and took the money, nodding a thank you as he turned to his bedroom for one last sleep in his own bed. He wasn’t sure when he would be back home, he never liked to plan too much.

Lyra leaned over towards Toby, who was sitting in the passenger's seat of the car while their mother drove. It was a spot Lyra usually sat in, but Toby had claimed rights to the seat as it was his ‘going away present’. She pestered him about the trip from the backseat, the boy's bag sitting beside her. He quietly prayed to himself that no one would notice the hatchet residing inside of his backpack.

“Take some pics for me once you get there. My friend has family in North Dakota and she said the scenery is nice,” Lyra requested, which Toby agreed to.

Once they reached the train station, the boy grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. He gave his sister a side hug, and a quick goodbye. Connie tried her best to contain herself as she stood composed in front of her son. It wasn’t easy for her to accept that her little boy was grown up now. Toby reached for his mother and brought her into a tight hug, letting the embrace linger on a bit longer than usual.

“You be safe, and you know I’m just a call away if you need anything, and don’t forget to watch your health, and be careful. If you need me to send you more money or clean clothes or-”

“I’ll be alright, mom. I mean it. The trains gonna leave soon,” Toby interrupted his mothers worried ramble as he squeezed her hand in a bittersweet goodbye.

“Goodbye sweetie, I love you” she said softly, squeezing his hand back.

“I love you too.”

Toby took his seat on the train and held his bag closely beside him as it began to move slowly down the tracks. Staring out the window, he watched his sister wave wildly at him as he passed, which he awkwardly waved back to before his family fell out of view. He chuckled silently to himself as he reclined into his seat. The countryside was beautiful this time of year. Dense forests painted with rust and sunset danced along the tracks, occasionally he’d spot a deer or a coyote. He had never been on a train before, nor had he ever been up north. Toby thought back to his time with Jack, and the paintings that he had made which hung up on his wall. It was as if they both had been discovering the new world in their own ways. Then, he thought about what Tim had told him, that this world was a fresh start for all of them, a second chance. As he looked out at the world passing by him, for a moment, he almost believed it.

#tombwrites #tombfic #creepypasta #ticci toby #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby headcanons #toby rogers #creepypasta ticci toby #ticci toby fanfiction #ticci toby fanfic #ticci toby creepypasta #creepypasta fanfiction #creepypasta fanfic #ticci toby headcanon

[sharksa-shivers]

Max is sick/more texts between character stuff cuz why not?

Kristy: Max

Kristy: Max, cmon dude, need you to wake up! We kinda need you today!!

Max: Ive been up ffs been trying to sleep tho

Max: damn that sucks cuz i feel like shit

Kristy: Ughhhh, look, i get it, depression but like…You can't just keep sitting stuff out because of your depression???

Max: ??????? It's not depression tho???? Hshshshshs fuck

Max: Im fuckin sick lol im not coming sorry to disappointt

Kristy: Yeah, sure, ok. Nice prank buddy

Kristy: Now get up and get dressed, we need to go!!!

Max:(sends a pic of him holding up a wad of used tissues, Max looks out of it in the picture, he is obviously sick) sorry lol would you like a snot or cough sample to prove that im not fucking lying?

Kristy: …….Oh…….

Max: YEAH LMAO

Max: you try fuckin sleeping when you can't breath, having a tiny nose thats clogged doesn't help when im trying to inhale oxygen

Max: throat hurts, head hurty, nose blocked tf off, can i sttay home now mom??? please???? Im so tired and i feel like shit lol

Kristy: …..I guess you're kinda gonna have to, hmmm….Trying to think…

Max: how about fuck the mission, tkae a day off???

Kristy: No!!!

Max: lol you should

Max: i love demon fighting and shit and you nkow i do but like…life is nore then labor ok? Enjoy it

Kristy: ……That is so weird of a phrase to come from you of all people who's suicidal af

Max: IM NOT SUICIDAL EVERY FUCKING DAY GODDAMNIT SHSHSHSHSHSH IM ONLY SUICIDAL MOST DAYS OK?.??? THERE IS A DIFFERENCE

Max: in seriousness tho, eh. Today feels kinda good mental health wise, its just my physical health thats shit today lololol Kristy: Well…Guess it is what it is then…

Max: hey lol can you get me some food and some meds plz? Im cozy in bed dont wanna spread germs and shit but a bitch needa eat lol (also meds would be p nice i miss breathing…oxygen bb plz come back im sorry;~;)

Kristy: Yeah yeah lmao, i can. I'm gonna assume no food preferences today?

Max: No lol just plz, im so hungry, blehhhh (preferably something i can fucjing taste and that wont hurt my throat much tho lol)

Kristy: Okayyyyyy, i'll see what i can do.

Max: Best friendo ever lol you da best!!! 💗 ---------------- And now some rambling text info bout The Trio derps whenever sick cuz why not tho? --- Trio derp sickness levels (this sickness meaning like…ig nausea levels --- Kristy: So Kristy is least likely to like get sick like that. With her having magic and the amulet and whatnot, she gets very used to rapid, disorienting movements over time (though at the series start, i can see this being more of an issue but also with Kristy's determination, i can see her blowing that shit out of the water pretty quick, her determination being the stronger of the 2) Kristy can still very much get sick tho, if she's in a very disorienting situation for a long time period, she's gonna get fucking sick… 🍃🍃🍃

Sharky: So with Sharky, he can get sick and he does from time to time. It's either him getting motion sick, him getting actual sick (from like food poisoning and bugs and whatnot) or it's the third option and that tying into him being a shark (but i'll hop back to this in a sec)

Sharky is kind of harder to get motion sick because he does have the advantage of being born in the ocean so…He's used to that sort of thing, like a ride or whatever isn't going to give him motion sickness, he gets it more from like…Being thrown around rapidly with 0 control or from magic use or things like that…

So for the other thing…So…him being a shark yeah? So a reminder; Sharky can throw up his entire stomach, like wholeass organ…This is because he's a shark and it's something Sharky REALLY REALLY FUCKING HATES part cuz it's so weird, part cuz it's disgusting and part because it fucking hurts since he's very not used to doing that…Sharky can vomit up either his entire stomach or he just throws up normally…Sharky doesn't really have much control over this but if it's a higher stress situation, it's gonna be the entire organ coming up. (this whole bit happens more if Sharky's scared or very fucking stressed or in a big emergency sort of thing…Otherwise, Sharky's probably gonna just throw up normally…) Sharky learns he has this ability during the series and i kinda megadoubt he ever utilizes it like Slash does BUT Sharky does learn how to control this a bit better and when he feels it happening, he tends to insta-calm down to try and prevent the whole thing from coming out… 🦈🦈🦈 Max: Max defs gets motion sickness probably the worst…This is probably another reason why Max isn't the biggest on dizzying shit or boats or things like that because it probably fucks him up alottttttttt… Unlike Kristy he has no magic And unlike Sharky, Max does not have any sort of help from the ocean soooooooooo…Yeah, rip dogeboi [i kinda feel like Sharky throws up more then Max does tbh but i think it's cuz Sharky's put in more situations where that can happen vs Max…] 🐶🐶🐶 Now for sickness sickness, i feel like Sharky probs gets sick in that way the least cuz of his height honestly (it's harder for germs and shit to bother him if they can't reach his face…If somebody coughs near him, it ain't gonna be near his face so…) I feel like Kristy's second And i feel like Max probs has it worst here again tbh (i defs feel like Max has really fucking awful allergies tbh…Idk why but it's a vibe i get, probably if i had to guess, something with his fur picking up things that make him sneeze and cough and whatnot, rip dogeboi again)

#kidnappedseries #kidnappedseries dialog stuff #kidnappedseries rambles

[imlosingmyfuckingmindgirl]

past week, jan 8.

well well, it is 2314 at night as im writing this, my one roomie is talking to someone and other roomie is out talking to his friend but was supposed to get me water. fuck him. i seriously love frank ocean. im bout to cry my ass out on white ferrari. first lemme hit nights. past week was FUCKING EXHAUSTING. it was all midsems, every night study while not retaining anything in the morning. sometimes i was completely blacked out on the papers. man i hated this week so much. i think i will score very very poor in this midsem. i dont know how will i face my parents when i tell them my score. im scared, on the big god. im scared as fuck. apart from proff comms, i dont think i will score a decent score on any paper. it was so bad. let's see what happens on 11th as i get fucked from others' reaction. fuck this exam season. apart from that, my parents went to my sister's place to take care of her while she is developing her twins (manifesting is strong here vro). it caught me offguard that they went home, it was so unexpected. but its okay, they are together. she needs them, more than me. and you know i always let go only to find out later that i dont. white ferrari, good times. i don't wanna do this anymore, i think im fucking depressed. i would have not forgiven myself if lexa killed herself that new year's eve night. she told me that she was going to do it. but could not. i dont know if i can save her but i will try my best. i care for her, i fucking do. i fucking care for her as if she were my girl. even though i exist for her only in her mind. she told my she has this college debt and she could not pay it back and how she is a dissapointment and all that negative manifestation. i freed her from all that, all i could. i just dont want her to go out like that. she has been thru it all. i know. she is very brave and i will let her know it. i wont let her die. my backside pains so much as i am typing this. our whole hostel is victimized by covid, i think. everyone is falling sick. gods grace im okay till now. please let me be okay, god. im outchere, drinking mojitos and cokes and shit while these guys are suffering. god i spent reckless today. my fucking tire burst. spend 630 on that. ate some good shit for dinner 175 for that. i been spending like racks. i am guilting myself over it. and i have no remorse. guilt is overrated anyway. i dont know why, i just feel sad. like bruh lemme be happy one night. i just feel like all my family problems are caused by me. i dont feel my emotions unless and until i write them down. now its hitting me. just saw a reel stating that her mom is in depression and it shows her pampering her mother like her own child. just pictured it with my own mom crying and now i cannot sleep. somenights i just wanna cry my eyes out. like soak this pillow wet. If you think about it, it'll be over in no time And that's life. im tired of moving, im tired of aching. i dont wanna do this anymore, i just wanna cry until i die. nicoles new album just came out and i vibed to that while the full moon was out. it was fucking beautiful. i pictured death and its beautiful. i love her. and i dont love people. i love you mom, and dad and my sister. but sorry if i lose some battles. i hope i make it out. peace, tommorow is my music audition plus my physics lab, wish me luck. peace to every crease. -alister.

[anime-grimmy]

I wanna be a negative nancy today so hottake bout a HZD/HFW fandom opinion:

Before I go bitchin about, Imma say that I love the HZD/HFW fandom. There's a lot of fun and creativity to be had and reading character analysis is an absolute blast cause people manage to pick up on things I wouldn't even have thought about. And I really don't mind ppl changing characters/settings to fit their needs, after all, I'm guilty of doing that as well. As long as you're having fun, you do you, dude.

But there's just one thing that absolutely grinds my gears, only because it seems widely accepted among the fans; if most say it only as a joke/ironically, Imma look like a dumbass but just the sheer amount of likes that these posts get make me think otherwise.

I'm talking about posts like these: (stitched this together myself btw)

Well, the meme is fine in itself, but Im more talking about the broader consensus that Aloy just, doesn't care the least bit bout the male NPCs and acts as if their troubles are just them whining, but is super nice and gentle to the female NPCs. And I just, I don't get where this is coming from??

I mean, I guess you can get that impression from the first game since most ppl you help out are kind of scumbags, but then I also think about how gentle Aloy is with the dad of the literal second sidequest and how "I don't give a shit" she is at the start of Talanah's quest.

I also can't see it when in HFW Aloy is exasperated with every second Oseram she comes across, be it man or woman, how she thinks both Drakka and Yarra are being stupid, or how fucking gentle she is with the blind Tenakth boy or the dad with dementia.

What it boils down to, I think, is that Im just so sick and tired of ppl putting Aloy on a pedestal of sth she isn't.

I get it, she's a great, strong female lead that isn't just an emotionless piece of cardboard or just "man, but as WOMAN". She has her flaws, but that just makes her more grounded and interesting. She's headstrong and doesn't give a shit about ppl's petty whining, and I get you wanna project your own ideas and ideals onto a character like that because it reflects them in a good light.

But I'm so sick of ppl making Aloy out to be someone she's not, only to mold her brash personality into their own beliefs.

I'm sick that they twist her compassionate heart into a men-hating, self righteous bitch, when, just like her mom, she wants to save the world because she cares about everyone.

#rambling #ranting #just letting out emotions #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #aloy #ive just been seeing things like that so often that it makes me angy #and yeh ppl can do whatever but dont twist her to be an icon for something she is NOT

[tomdiddlyumptious]

T.H| Three Months?

Summary: 👽👽👽

Warnings: pregnant women who got into an argument and then had birth but tom came up (this is like stupid but why not)

You sighed and walked in the house while tom stormed in behind you, slamming the door.

“See- you do this every single fucking time- arent you tired” you turned to him. “No i could actually go all fucking day if i wanted to” “you already fucking did!” You yelled, raising your hands in frustration as tears started to pool your eyes but never fell.

“Y/n why do you do this all the fucking time?” He said, coming in your face and grabbing your wrist. “Do what?” You asked desperately. “You make me the bad guy, like i do everything wrong-“ “nononono because what are you talking a fucking bout? I do nothing but love you and carry your fucking child”

You pushed him away, “why are you even holding my baby?” He muttered. And thats when the tears fell “i dont know. Why am i holding your baby?” You asked back and he shrugged. “Dont worry, i wont anymore” you shrugged to “i dont care- you dont care. Fuck off” you walked in the room and slammed the door, hissing in pain by the baby kicking but you ignored it, throwing your clothes out to move out.

When you were done you walked out with the multiple suitcases “we are over” you harshly yelled while tom sat on the couch rubbing his eyebrow and eyes “whatever y/n”

And with that you both are done. No more.

He grew sick and didn’t take care of himself. He sent you a total of 1,000 texts in three days. 1,027 calls to. He was desperate, he wanted to see you, his child. It hurt his heart for thinking back on that day, so cruel and careless with his words.

You didnt want his money you could provide for yourself. You didnt want anything to do with him, but the baby was a beautiful exemption.

So when you went in labor you cried in pain, your moms hand in yours while she wiped your sweaty forehead. “I cant do it mom- please” you cried, leaning your head back as tears strolled down your cheeks, a scream leaving your lips as your back arched, your brothers and sisters wincing as they watched in the background.

“You got this. You wil give birth abd you better do it before i dig in there myself” she whispered and you gripped her hand turning your head abd smiling at her before. “This is the last push!”

3,2,1

~and a baby was borrrrn~

“Sage” you smiled. “Uhhh y/n...you have a guest” your brother said, looking through the glass and finding the one man who you sure didnt want to see, really, right now?

He stepped in...he looked clean and freshly shaved, but his mood just killed the vibe. He felt down below, no escape and he came here to change it.

“Thomas-“ “can i at least help take off the umbilical cord, y/n im begging you...thats my baby to” he said, and you thought about it. Tears streamed through your eyes “why now? Three months?” “Y/n baby im so sorry...i couldnt stop-“

“Um so is he gonna take it off or what.” The doctor asked, still carrying the crying child looking between the both of you before you nodded, your mom wiping away your tears “just hear him out. And if he talks crazy i promise i will beat his ass” “thank you mom” you whispered and watched as tom helped. A faint smile on his lips.

“What are you gonna name her?” Tom questions, watching her suck your nipple, you played with the curly hair on her head..like her fathers. “Sage...sage y/l/n”

Hearing that broke his heart. He bit his lip and gave a lopsided smile “can she- nevermind” he looked away, fustration filling his head while he tried to fight the tears. “You want her to have your last name, dont you?” You asked, looking up at him while he gave a nervous nod.

“She can have your last name if you can answer one question” you lifted your finger before placing it down. He nodded and shifted in his seat on the bed “ill answer”

You both made eye contact before you started to speak “why did i give birth to your baby?” You slightly tilted your head, one of your hands brushing the babys hair while the other sat there.

He looked away and cleared his throat, silent tears rolling down his cheeks before he grabbed your hand and looked back at you “because you are the love of my life” you swallowed harshly at his words.

“Are? Thomas you left me on my own. I could’ve fell in depression, got sick, trip down the fucking stairs-“

“I know that y/n!” He cut you off. “I know that. I just didnt want- i didnt want to argue again. I know im the problem-“ “youre not the problem we are-“ “please just let me speak. I know im the problem. So i wanted to distance myself because i dont want stress on you. I want the best for you and im just not it. Im not it y/n” he sniffled “and it sucks because im so in love with you” his shoulders slumped and he let go of your hand, turning away from you to let all of his tears fall and he choked on his sob, he couldnt hold it in. He let it all out.

Watching him cry is heart breaking, you sat up carefully and tugged him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in your neck. “I-i just dont know what to do y/n” “shhhh” he continued to cry in your neck and you brushed his hair, looking down at sage, sage holland. “Tom” he let out a small hum. “We can do this together, my love for you will never end”

And he cried harder, all the stress and frustration, worry from the past months just pooling out of his eyes.

“I love you” “im so sorry for leaving you alone” he wrapped his hand around your waist tightly and pulled your closer, feeling the wet spot on your neck but he didnt care. He had you and sage back.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland fluff #tom holland au #tom holland x pregnant!reader #dad!tom holland #dad!tom

[agentsoftie]

Sleepless Nights ( S.R ) p.2

summary: Y/N and Reid aren’t the most fond of each other. So what happens when sleep, have to share a bed, and get married?

pairing: Y/N x Spencer Reid

a/n: a/n: AHH okay so here it is! It’s my first au so it’s probably not the best. But big thanks to @anepiphany! Ani baby none of this would be happening without you! Thank you for you tips and making me not go insane! Also pls tell me if I slept something wrong cuz like, your girl not the best when it comes to it. Also there will def be a loophole somewhere in my case and if you find one, just let it slide because life is filled with loopholes ❤️ also this is gonna be a two parter! ( this is the second part )

warnings: mentions of a case, angst and blood (the smallest amount), fluff really though

also if you want to be in my permanent taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

Remember to like and reblog

“So today happened,” you say while you got into bed.

Yeah, today happened. So, I guess we're gonna do this thing huh,”

Wait, is he asking me out? you think to yourself. No dumbass of course he isn't. He's talking about the event thing. you say to yourself mentally. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“So, sleep huh.” He asked awkwardly.

“What?”

“You know, sleep. Like us, together. No, wait t-that came out wrong. I meant like we’re gonna sleep, but ike together on the same bed. But if you're not tired then we-” He got cut off by you when you grabbed his arm. Immediately he looked down at your hand and then up. He looked like he had just seen a ghost and gotten an A in a class you were failing at, at the same time.

“Breathe, just breathe. How ‘bout you take a shower huh.” You say in an airy voice while still holding onto his arm.

“Uh, okay. Yeah, a shower. That sounds good.” He said, forcing you to let go of his hand.

-------

It takes him 10 minutes to finish taking his shower. Tonight he comes out wearing another pair of basketball shorts and another tee. It really makes you wonder if all he goes to sleep in is a pair of shorts and a tee. Like really Reid come on. You have money, use it on some proper pj’s. Although you're one to argue wearing another pair of shorts and a loose crop top.

“You said last night that there was no hot water so it took you ten minutes, well this time there still was and it again still (italicize) took you ten minutes. Like what the fuck!”

“I'm not really one for hot water. But my statement last night still remains true, you took up the hot water.”

“ Reid, this is a hotel. They almost always have hot water running.”

“Okay well, I don’t care!”

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“Ha, so you admit it!”

“Admit what?”

“That I’m smarter than you!”

“Well in certain areas, yes,” you said in an annoyed tone. He was smirking at your struggle for answering. “Ugh, can we just go to sleep.” You say not wanting to continue this conversation.

--------

You woke up to the sound of rain pouring outside. The skies were as gray as a child on a monday. You felt something on your stomach and to your surprise that feeling was a man known as Dr. Spencer freaking Reid. He was laying on you with his head right under your chin. You were holding his hand and your legs were intertwined with his again. You can't remember what happened last night to lead up to this, but what's done is done. The person you've been pining over for the last 3 years was here laying on you and looking like a fucking god.

Your phone started to ring causing him to wake up.

“Emily? Oh, okay yeah, I'll be there in 20.” She told you to go to the address that she had sent you. Saying to bring Reid with you to get your outfits for tonight. “Reid, come on we gotta go.” You say looking down at the art that was placed in front of you.

“No, I don't wanna leave. I just wanna sleep.” You had never seen this side to him before. So soft and sweet. Was the universe trying to make you fall for him? If so, then it was working.

“No come on, we have to get our outfits for tonight. We have to get ready and eat something. So come on, get up.” you say trying to get up but failing because he holds you back.

“No. sleep.” He mumbles half awake.

“Spencer, how ‘bout this. How about you sleep for a little until I take a shower and stuff. Then you can get up.”

“Okay, fine.” And with that he was out, leaving you go gaze over the literal form of perfection.

------

“Y/L/N how long does it take to get changed?” Reid yelled.

“Oh will you shush!”

“Geez, no need to get so mean.”

“Iswear I will backhand you so hard if you don't shut up!” You say while walking out. And at the sight of seeing you he was speechless. Staring at you like you had something stuck in your teeth. “What?” You say looking down at your black floor length gown.

“No n-nothing. It's just-”

“Just what?”

“You look good in that dress.”

You looked down immediately after he said that fearing he would see the blush. He did. “Yeah well, you look good too.” you say while moving your hands after the redness was gone.

“I know.” He said, smirking causing you to make a sarcastic face.

“Okay, well we have to go now or Hotch will literally kill us.”

“You. He’ll kill you.” He says while walking out of the door.

“And you would just love that, wouldn't you.” You say following him out.

————

“Reid, you have your gun?”Hotch askes.

“Yes.” He said.

“Wait, where should I put mine?” You ask while holding your gun.

“Oh, you see, you're not going to have one.” JJ says while taking your gun away slowly.

“Then what the hell am i going to use as self defence?”

“You're a badass, you'll figure it out.” Emily says suggestively.

“Damn straight.” You say smiling causing her and JJ to laugh. Reid was not impressed.

“Okay, these glasses have a secret video camera in them sending footage to Garcia once you turn it on. So whatever you do, don't take these off.” Hotch says while handing Reid a pair of glasses that match his suit. “And Y/L/N this is your “wedding ring.” It has a video camera in the diamond so try to keep your hand up and try to make it as visible to people as possible.” He says while handing you the ring.

“Okay you're married, so act like it!” Rossi says before you two leave.

“Yeah, you both better be so in love it makes someone sick.” Emily adds.

“Yes mom. Yes dad.” You say jokingly.

“Okay and before you go, here are your earpieces. And we’ll be near the building if anything happens.” JJ says.

-------

“Y/N, put your left hand on Spencer’s arm.” Garcia says through the earpiece. And you did exactly that. “Okay, now be affectionate.”

“Pen how should we do that.” You say while looking at Reid so it looked like you were talking to someone.

“I don't know? Spencer, kiss her.”

And then bam! Before you knew it, his lips were on yours. You didn't know how to react. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in making the kiss even stronger. You then put your hands in his hair and pulled at it a little. And at that moment it was as if the world stopped. As if time froze and fireworks went off. And then all of a sudden he pulled away and you looked down.

“Cherry or Strawberry?” He asks as if nothing just happened.

“I uh- strawberry.”

“Pardon me, but I couldn't help but notice that beautiful ring.” Says a guy approaching you.

“Oh thank you! It's very gorgeous isn't it!”You say while looking down at the ring then bringing your hand up.

“But not as gorgeous as you honey.” Reid says while looking at you. Oh god the things he did to your heart.

“Oh, uh how rude of me not to introduce myself. Im Ryan. Ryan Carson.” He says while holding out his hand for both of you to shake.

“Im Y/N Reid and this is my husband Spencer Reid.” You say while shaking his hand after Reid, as always, refused to. Y/N Reid had a nice ring to it, although you would never change your last name. But it sure had a nice ring to it which both you and Reid noticed.

“How long?” Ryan asked.

“3 months.”I said.

“When did you know?”

“The first time she read me The Fault In Our Stars. It was 2 something in the morning and I couldn't sleep so she read it to me. And I just couldn't stop thinking that this is the girl I’m gonna marry.” Reid said. Although that of course never happened, your heart wanted to explode. Right after he said that you kissed him on the cheek. He immediately turned red, but you didn't say anything.

“Wow. That’s just, wow.” Ryan said.

“Guys I think this guy is our friend Thomas. Well not think, know. He looks exactly the same. So make sure to play into his tactics or whatever. Therapy must cost a lot for you sweet children.” Garcia says.

“You know, I’m gonna propose to my girlfriend soon. Would you two help me pick out a ring?”

“What do you think Spenny?” You ask in a joking tone. Spenny, that was one you never used. You liked it, did so did he.

“Well, I think that it’s an amazing idea baby.”

You could see the anger in his eyes. The anger you get before taking a life. You could see that all he wanted to do was end your lives right then and there. Honestly you two could go into acting if all this death gets too heavy for you.

“Great! Then follow me right this way.” He says while leading you to the elevator. The ride was fairly quick but the entire time Reid had his and around your waist pulling you close to him. Oh god the things you would do to have him.

“Here’s my room.” he says while gesturing to you two to go in first. You saw two chairs and then heard the door slam behind you. You jumped at the sound and turned around to see him standing there with a gun pointing that both of you. “You don't want your wife to die a painful death, go sit down on the chair.” And he did exactly that. “Now you too bitch.” he says while pointing the gun at you. And you did exactly what he said.

“What do you want!” You yell at him while he ties you up.

“I want your happiness to end. If I can't have it, then how can you?”

“The world doesn't revolve around you!” And then before you knew it there was blood coming from your arm and a door kicked open.

“Y/N!” Spencer yells.

-------

“I’m okay, really I’m fine.” You say to the paramedic wrapping your arm.

“No you’re not! You got shot!” Spencer says.

“Okay well how about I leave you two along for a bit huh.” And with that the paramedic was gone.

“Oh look, you scared the paramedic.” You say while throwing your hands in the air.

“Okay and you scared me.”

“Spencer, I got shot. It happens.”

“Yes Y/N I know but it could have hit an artery and make you bleed out. I could have lost you. Why dont see that. If you die who am I gonna mentaly torture, who am I gonna talk to my mom about, who am I gonna love? I've already lost so much, I can't lose you too. I love you.”

“You love me?”

And just like that he grabbed you and put his lips on yours. You immediately put your hands in his hair and pulled hard, he didn't care though. He pulled you closer to him, making you come back with 10 times more force than before. You pulled apart due to lack of oxygen and he put his head against yours after catching his breath.

“Does that answer your question?” He says softly.

This time you kiss him. Not as aggressive as last time though. This was a small, yet equally as meaningful kiss. “I love you too.”

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly then all at once” – John Green

————

taglist: @ghostly-angelic, @marshmallowtraver, @heartbroken-writer, @yllwtaxi, @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks, @theamuz, @guessthatswhyiliveinhell, @alli1902, and @kaybeeboop

#criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #reader x spencer reid #spencer reid #thanks to ani though #none of this would be happening without her #so thank you ani baby 🥺💕 #mira writes

[nightlyponder]

I really, really need to move out this house. Like its fuckin trash that I gotta deal wit this grown ass man bein childish toward me.

I have 2 bags of books I plan on gettin rid of that I left on a shelf outside both mine and his room. Been there for a minute too.

My mom comes home and asks me where the books went. I look at her confused. She said they gone. I tell her I didnt move them and she says the man mustve. I get real quiet. She goes to ask him.

So I'm heated thinkin this man jus threw my books away and didnt tell nobody. Im thinkin how I am gonna confront this man without throwin hands cuz this man is a complete asshole and thinks I dont deserve to live here.

I go to my mom's room and ask her what he said bout the books.

He told her, he moved them to the garage cuz he was mad they were still and that he needed space to put his groceries down to unlock his door - the door he put a lock on cuz he thinks I wanna go in his room - AND THEN accuses me of stealing a bag of toilet paper from that same shelf.

I tell her I dont even remember seein a bag on that shelf and how I feel like this man has also locked my ipad out from the internet cuz I hadnt been able to reconnect to the internet in weeks.

TURNS OUT, my mom finds that bag of toilet paper out in the fuckin garage, where that man clearly dropped it AND he did in fact block my ipad all them weeks ago. Which is fucked up cuz I told my mom when that happened and that man lied bout doin it.

All the things he accuses me of doin, of lying, stealing, touchin his stuff when he not lookin, invading privacy, this man is doin to me and I'm sick of it. I go out of my way to stay outta his cuz I know the moment I speak Imma be disrespectful then he gone be disrespectful and the shit jus gone get ugly and messy for my mom.

But I'm tired of it. The next time this asshole pull some shit like this, I'm gettin belligerent.

[jojosbabe]

Ok unpopular opinion here and this may piss off people but i honestly dont care.

You can't love okuyasu nijimura and hate on keicho.

You either love and respect all the nijimuras and help them get better and write them with love and compassion. Or you stay the fuck away from them.

You don't have to agree with everything. But you are not allowed to call yourself a okuyasu fan if you hate on his brother.

You don't have to agree. You can make them all get family therapy. But the second i see you hate on his brother not even paying remotely any attention to the crap he had to deal with to make sure okuyasu was taken care of. Having to see their life slowly deteriorated before his eyes while trying to keep shit under wraps because if anyone found out about their father. They would most likely be put in foster care and separated. And we all know how that treats children. Regardless of country or culture.

So im sorry but if you truly understand. And love any of the nijimuras. You handle all of them with care you here me?!

Im sick and tired of people putting one over the other. No oku aint some uwu baby. But he has a soft heart and he damn well wouldn't appreciate you taking shit bout his bro(alive au or canon death) mr.nijimura(mansaku if you wanna call him) gave his whole ass life to dio just only to help his family. Sold his soul because he was desperate. The death of his wife and oku n chos mom weighed heavily on him. Leaving him to care for his children alone with debt n crippling depression.

Fuck you hating on any of the nijimuras.

This ain't a black n white issue. This is a complex,deep,fucked up situation. That anyone could fall under. Its very realistic if you think about it minus the stands n anime gloss. Its bitter n sad as all fuck.

Sure yeah things get better. But not without scars. Good god people.

Shit be hard having to go through literal hell n back. And still try to find a way through it.

They all have traumas. And the mental health systems suck ass. And you guys know this. I know this. So why the frick frack do y'all still treat these characters like that?! Makes no sense to me.

Its not any of the nijimuras fault for the crap they went through. Sure its fucked up. But if okuyasu can forgive and love n move tf on. So can you. Jesus christ on a cheese cracker people. Okuyasu is legit telling you guys to forgive,heal, n move on and you sit their with a dumb ass grudge over shit you can't comprehend and would never understand and you call yourselves fans of the nijimuras. Shame on you.

Dont you dare come for either nijimura brother. But especially keicho nijimura. I will personally chew you out.

Half of these people either have no siblings or have no idea what its like to be that overthinking protective older sibling and it shows.

Dont come for any of the nijimuras. JUST DON'T

Im pissed off at people. Urgh.

#ignore this vent im just pissed #admin is angry #god people piss me off #you dont have to like the characters but put some fucking respect on my boys names

[nooratheking]

Ok here is the story of njamh

T W

abuse and hate

Njamh is a chiled(didn't deaced the age yet so help me)her mother passed away from the pluge but the story go's Aisha(njamhs mom)and jasm(her big brother )left ther town bc of her dad they divorced it's bc her dad wanted boys only the resoun du that ther is a curs on the family that mad one of the girls of the family have demon in them but they also have hafe heart of the forst so when najmh was born her mother didn't think it was her but her dad know so he said he didn't want her he said if you stell want to be my wife and live rich and all then kill this monster she said so he demand divorce so on the bout ther they were on the bout to vesui when they were ther they didn't have alout of money not much money to live so sometime ther mom wod eat only a pit and sometime not she loust her helathy badly that she coudnt work but jasm wod stell some time najmh was too young to know but she undrastnd so when she was waking with her friend(ayah p s keep in mind she have a crush on her >:^3)she saw a post about needing help in the place she saw it had a price not that good but she needed it she helped as a maid and a helper to the doctors like if they needed ink she bring some food she bring etc one time her brother tolled her to go to a near by shop to stell some money from she didn't want to but she noded so when she was ther the whit hiraed magicn (asra)asked what she needed she said she wanted some water he smile and gon up when he wasn't looking she went to the money place and looked it she got for a sec she forget what she was doing bc of a book it looked big thicc and it seem to have alout of storys she wanted it but she know she had to take the money so when she was about to take it a snake slpied from under a sock and she yelled "STELL ,THIFF"etc she was shaking and about to cry the magicn cam runing and saw the girl crying and shaking next to the money and looked at her he didn't scarem nor did he tolled her to fuck off he asked her why "m-my mom us sick and we don't have food kind sir a-and my brother tolled me too but I sewer sir I didn't mean no harm or to hurt you...im sorry sir so sorry"he looked at her and tolled she can help hem with the shop as ling as she don't stell ayah took the place and najmh tok the shop until the plug cam the magicn cam to the place and tok he's "helper" in that time najmh cam to work in her place in the place to help doctors and she saw a familr face she saw julina a man who was on the bout she remembered hem after all thos years he asked her how she is and if she is good and all they began to become closer until one day she saw someone she loved someone that only understood her protected her loved her and the person that mad her feel loved and brieded her hira and kissed her.....her mom Aisha she saw her eyes red as blood and skinny as her but worst she then begin to make sure she last ever minute with her and all until that day cam when she passed away julina tolled njamh not to toche her but she kissed her forhead and got the pluge after days and days befor her time she asked julina if he can tell her a story like her mother did she had her doll(mari)that had her mother soul and she was holding it she was tired not alright he tolled her to hold on he know someone to help so he bought asra and he start telling red riding hood and when she closed her eyes she had a new hafe heart when she waked up she went to her brother hous wher all the hate and abuse happened tw

LAST T W GUYS

He start hateing her for ever thing no matter how good she cook he stell hates her even if she early from the shop he beats her and all sometime when he is drunk he was abuse her so bad telling her how ungrateful she is and that mom and have ben alive with out her and sometimes when he's friends are around they wod go to her room and do something so bad to her until one day when she and ayah was in the forst a man all bloody and all panting and trying to protect some kind of a deer that wher it's all started

#thearcana #najmh #muriel #asra #jaulin #backstory

One of najs besties

#the arcana child #najmh najip al hamed #najmh #the arcane mc #the arcane game #the arcana #the arcane apprentice

[hayleyj]

WHY?

Why im so supposed to be alive? Theres nothing. Family ignoring me, friends betrayed me, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. And I knew one guy, he never show he really want to know whats the future. Sometimes he showing that he like me, sometimes he made me so overthinking and insecure. Im not really care about relationship anymore. Only God knows how Ive struggled from my past relationship. Thats sucks and really sick. I never be happy after dad left us. Hes selfish, mom also. Why never thinks bout us? They just leave us and follow their path. I need to know why this happened. Like why? Why and why. But I know no ones will know. Im heartless. Im tired. Im sick. I need someone that I can tell everything, that I can trust, that really care about me. Thats so hard to through everything alone after 20 years.. I still love my self. I already forget all about suicide, I stop thinking about that cause I know I deserve to be happy, but Idk im so confused, I really want to know why I have to feel this fucking feelings

[flatstarcarcosa]

hi i don't think i've ever asked HOW you and lester met so... how did you and lester meet? what were your first thoughts of him? his first thoughts of you? -24hourshipping

OK SO I actually have two settings for how we met that i’m stuck on!! the first one is that i, hire him, actually. or, i’m attempting to. and lester, as he’s wont to do when he gets moody, gets super fucking offended at this. i’m trying to hire him to deal with [REDACTED] and he shows up like “the fuck is your problem?” and is basically like 

and i mention to him that like hey man, i totally would, but i dont know how to do it without getting caught and spending my life in prison, and although the free healthcare and food sounds nice, “other people will have control of the narrative of my life, and that’s all i have left. i’m not willing to give that up.” 

and that gets his attention, because controlling your story is something he understands. controlling his story  is what makes lester lester. he will go after reporters if they tell the story of one of his kills wrong. so he ends up being like, all right i’ll take the job, but you do the work and i make sure you get away with it. 

and somewhere after we’re holed up in a shitty hotel in the virginia backwoods while he waits for things to cool down and he just realizes the last week is the first time he’s been around someone that treats him like a fucking human being, dysfunctional and irredeemable human he may be, and he realizes that uh well, that’s?? kind of not bad. and he asks where i plan to go from here and i say honestly i don’t know because i just blew all my inheritance money hiring him, so aside from ‘im goin’ to that bar over there’ i have no plans. 

and he asks if i’ve ever been to new york, and it’s all history from there. 

THE SECOND ONE i’m playing around with is that he ends up on a job back where I am in SC, and has to lie low a bit since blowing up a huge fucking boat on the lake ended up being a bad idea. he breaks into my old house because he honestly thought it was abandoned it looked so shitty so he can rest and tape up his busted ribs. he sees rufus and he’s like “bro what the fuck the people in this house left their dog behind, and i’m the bad guy?” and doesn’t think anything of it until I come home from work and he realizes “what the fuck people LIVE HERE?” (’do you know your toilet is broke?’ ‘which one?’ ‘hey what the fuck?’)

and i’m completely unbothered by this strange bloody man in my bathroom because like i’m tired! i’m sick! i’m working retail! and i straight up tell him if he’s here to murder and rob me if he can drop the dog off at the no kill shelter, and my complete nonchalance takes him by surprise. 

so i’m like “my mom’s in the hospital rn so if you wanna use either of those two extra furnished bedrooms i super don’t care just don’t eat my food and don’t replace it, there’s not enough as it is” so he’s like, aite. 

and he kinda has a momentTM thinkin’ bout his own poverty and abuse as a kid and quickly squashes feelings, but then it’s the same thing of me treating him like a real person and not a wild animal that gets to him. and eventually i tell him yo my mom’s gettin’ discharged and i can’t just stash you in the attic (its full of bats) so he gets his shit and leaves. 

and then a few days later i’m trying to find out why my truck has broken down again and he strolls up in the yard like “why didn’t you tell me this neighborhood has a motel?” and i’m like 

dude it’s four rooms with sheets that get changed like twice a year, it doesn’t count. but he says it does, and he says he’ll look at my truck for me if i pass him a cigarette, and eventually i introduce him to mom as a ‘friend of a co worker’ and lester spends the rest of the winter and the next summer up in a backwater town in SC while everyone in the supervillain world thinks he died in a boat explosion on the lake surrounding said town, and he finds that hey, 

he’s kinda okay with this right now. 

he’s okay with a break. turns out he needed it. 

and then eventually we end up in NYC. 

@24hourshipping

#long post #ship: right on target #gotta be honest i was never too attached to the first scenario #it was just all i had at the time #and i'm big mood into the second one #deadass forgot bout the motel in the old neighborhood and i was just #BRO IT FITS WTF #Anonymous #*asks

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

#chris brown #Jhene Aiko #chris brown fanfic #chris brown ff #jhene chilombo #jhene efuru #jhene aiko fanfic #jhene aiko ff #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #fanfic update #j cole #j cole fanfic

[laging-hilo]

COZ IM SUPER BORED. CTTO.

unusual asks

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

- HMM NAH I’M HAPPY TO WHO I’VE BECOME, PERO IN TERMS OF HEALTH I WISH I WAS HEALTHIER AND SEXIER. HIRAP NG LAGING NAHIHILO. IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS AND HALF NA HILO AKO PALAGI.

2: What is your full name?

- CANNOT

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

- 30 IF PINOY AND IF IBANG LAHI 19

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

- ALWAYS LIKE EVERY YEAR, LIKE MINSAN TWICE A YEAR.

5: What’s your eye color?

- DARK BROWN

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

- HMM IM OBESE TYPE 3 AND IM SUPER DIZZY PALAGI ALL THE TIME ALWAYS HAD CHEST DISCOMFORTS AND MY HEART BEATS BIT FASTER THAN THE NORMAL. YEAH I HAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS AND IT IS TIRING BUT I AM TRYING TO LIVE, SO KAYONG MGA HEALTHY JAN POTAH WAG KAYO MAG SAD SAD ANG TRY TO KILL YOURSELF ANG HIRAP NG POSITION NG GANITO PROMISE. EVERYDAY IS A GIFT AND IT IS ALWAYS SCARY TO SLEEP.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

- YEAH I HAVE THREE TATTOOS AND 8 PEIRCING

8: What would you say is your best quality?

- TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING, LIKE MGA NON SENSE NA BAGAY AND I CAN MAKE CONVERSATION OUT OF IT. IN PERSON HA. 

9: What are you really bad at?

- MEMORIZING

10: What talent do you wish you had?

- PLATING INSTRUMENTS

11: Are you nice to everyone?

- I THINK I AM, AND I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO BE IF I FEEL THAT IM NOT

12: What do you think about the most?

- MY BOYFRIEND

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

- LIKE IM STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY MYSELF KNOWING THE FACT ABOUT MY DISLIKE ABOUT SOMETHING I HAVE WHICH IS MY SICKNESS

14: What is your least favorite word?

- KANTUTAN

15: What is your favorite word?

- FUCK

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

- MOM

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

- ALWAYS ACTUALLY

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

- IT HA NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE, BUTLATELY YUNG CHRISTIAN BORN AGAIN NA PINIPILIT KO NA SUMAMA SA GROUP NILA AND IT IS KULTO TO CONSIDERED THAT IT WAS FORMED BY PERSON AND GATHERINGS LIKE THAT HERE IN DOHA IS DELIKADO SOBRA LIKE POSAS AND DETENTION SA KULUNGAN. HE KNOWS ABOUT IT YET INAAYA AYA PA DIN AKO NA SOBRA AND I ALWAYS ALWAYS LIED ABOUT ME BEING BUSY EVERY FRIDAY JUST TO AVOID HIM

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

- YEAH AS STATED ABOVE

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

- YEAH MY BOYFRIEND IS 4 YEARS OLDER THAN ME

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

- HMM NAH

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

- YEAS

23: Are looks important?

- HMM NOT SO IMPORTANT BUT IT IS IMPORTANT

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

- HMM ITS FINE FOR ME SA IBANG TAO NOT FOR ME, IKE FOR MYSELE. HINDI KO GUSTO UNG SUPER TANDA OR SUPER BATA SAKIN

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?

- I THINK YEAH

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

- YEAH ALWAYS

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

- FUCK YEAH

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

- ALMOST I AM THINKING ABOUT IT LATELY ACTUALLY

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

- HMM NAH KONSINTIDOR SILANG LAHAT

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

- MY BOY BESTFRIEND YEAH, AND WE EVEN LOVED EACH OTHER THEN WE STOPPED SEEING EACH OTHER WHEN WE BOTH HUGGED THEN FELT THE LOVE. SO YEAH.

31: How does someone win your heart?

- BY HIS ATTITUDE AND IFHE IS TALLER THAN I DO

32: What turns you on?

- LIKE IN WHAT?

33: What turns you off?

- SAME AS ABOVE

34: Do you get jealous easily?

35: What is your definition of cheating?

- LIKE BASTA MINAHAL NA NYA

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

- YEAH I HAVE A GREAT STORY BOUT THAT, MY BESTFRIEND DOES BETRAYED ME

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

- YEAH ALWAYS ALL MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

- NAH I DNT DO SHITS ON ANYONE I KNOW HOW IT HURTS

39: How often do you listen to music?

- EVERY DAY

40: First concert you attended

- HMMWALA I DONT LIKE CONCERTS

41: Last movie you watched

- LIKE DAD

42: Favorite type of movie

- ROMCOM AND SAD ENDING LOVE STORY MOVIES

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

- YEAH THERE IS

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

- HMM YEAH I AM, LIKE RIGHT NOW I HATE MYSELF. COZ I DIDNT PASSED THE EXAMINATIONS BUT YEAH I HAVE TO ACT NORMAL ALWAYS

45: Do you fall in love easily?

- YEAH

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?

- HMM YEAH EVEN WHEN DIDNT MEAN IT

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

CHRISTMAS OFCOURSE <3

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

- YES I AM, YES I DO BUT SOMETIMES I HATE IT LALO NA ABUSADO UNG NAGKASALANAN SAKIN

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

-MY BEDROOM AS I ANSWERED

50: What’s your “type”?

- WHAT TYPE? TYPE IN MAN? IN BOOK? IN MUSIC? WHAT?

#imboredthatswhy

[thedappleddragon]

hooray I think I was productive today :) friends can read this time (except cassidy, you gotta leave, birthday spoilers) but if you figure out my secret project dont tell anybody 

uhhh I dont remember much of this morning other than I just wanted to keep sleeping and my cat was probably clawing at my sheets again. I knew I needed some tape so I could tape together patten pieces for my project and my mom needed meds picked up, so I gathered my things and went to the store by myself with my mom’s card and a short shopping list. all fuckin morning I kept repeating the Minecraft creeper song and the clip from “Korone saying eating Myke Tyson's ass Good Ending” where she has the birthday cake hat. so imagine me, sitting in my car, singing “eating, mike Tyson’s, ass. NOOO” on repeat while looking for a parking space. I ended up walking laps around the store because I didn't know where they kept the fuckin hummus and I had to text my sister and ask. then there was SO much trouble at the pharmacy. basically they didnt have my mom’s insurance on file so I put her on speakerphone while she acted like a boomer not being able to read her own insurance card. the worst part is that because the pharmacy lady was talking to my mom over the phone, I couldn't kill time and be on my phone. so I had to just STAND THERE staring into the middle distance for entirely too long playing with the 2 sets of keys I had clipped to my hand purse wallet thingy. at least I felt cool in my outfit and my boots. eventually it all pretty much worked out and I got to bring home 2 out of her 5  medications and all the groceries. but the lady at checkout thought I was struggling with the machine or an idiot or something (or maybe she was trying to be helpful, whatever) and came over to help me like 3 times. like!! I'm sorry im tired and a little overstimulated and like to take my damn time!! whatever its fine lol. afterwards I drove over to dollar tree to get tape, but I ended up getting a lot of other things too. I saw that they had a brand of tape where you could buy extra rolls without the plastic thing that holds them so I got both. there was also satin ribbon which I was very tempted to get to add to my project, but since I did have fabric to color match to I put it away. instead I got a set of tiny jars, glitter, and craft glue to make into liquid glitter jars. my first idea was to maybe make them into a necklace with fake flowers and shrinky dink fairy wings, but I think they'll just be for decoration. I wanted a snack while I was there and got some crackerjack, like from the baseball song. if you didnt know, yeah its real and its just candied popcorn and peanuts with a little sticker inside. but its really damn good! that's why I ate 2 out of the 3 boxes kn the back and shared the 3rd with my dad. after checkout I sat in the parking lot eating crackerjack straight from the box since I forgot hand sanitizer and watching tiktoks. when I tried to go home there was a huge line of cars outside the entrance to the neighborhood with an ambulance in there and police lights up front, so I turned the other way and took the other entrance. when I came home I found my mom in the process of ripping up carpet in front of her bathroom so she can replace it with tile. we had discussed this earlier today but I thought this would be an eventually project, not a today project. so I spent some time cutting carpet, ripping up foam, sweeping, and prying away the spiky wooden boarders. we need to either remove or hammer down some nails that go down into the concrete before we can start laying down tiles. I spent some time taping together my pattern pieces, cutting 1cm strips off the side of 25 pieces of paper until I got 5 long lines of 5 sheets that I would need to match up and tape together. I didnt have enough space on my bed so I brought it all out to the kitchen floor. it was the biggest clean flat surface in the house I could think of. I got frustrated about pieces not fitting perfectly and my printer cutting off important parts at the very bottom of pages, but I made it work. I roughly cut around each piece and when I brough them all back to my room, I saw my cat had gotten sick on my bed which made me more frustrated. she was asleep on my blankets and very warm so when I picked her up I was worried for a moment that she might have a fever, but she’s fine. I let her out of my room so I could take off the sheet she messed up and ran it and a couple other things through the wash. for the rest of the afternoon I let my cat stay outside without me, and she ended up staying outside for hours, never straying too far from the door but not coming inside when I invite her. I'd check up on her every so often and set her food dish. my sister kept asking me to find my wallet that had mom’s card in it which frustrated me more, and by now I was also getting hangry, so I was fuckin mad and tired and needed to be alone in my room for a bit. I have her card info saved on my phone so I just texted that to her so she could pay for food. I noticed my dad’s boss had called me and I missed it, so I called him back nd he just said It would be a couple days before any updates. I wish he would have just texted me but whatever. I sat outside with my cat while we ordered, making sure she was ok and wasn't hurting her eyes in the sun. I went in the car to pick up food but made my sister go in alone. we ate together in her room while I watched tiktoks and she worked on homework. after that I looked at the stuff u got from dollar tree and started making the 5 mini glitter jars in the bathroom. they all turned out pretty cute, but the pink and red ones are lowly leaking baby oil through the cork stopper. after that I had 2 tiny jars left, so I shoved in dried rose petals and baby’s breath and crushed leaves, all from the flowers my dad got me for valentines day. I think they turned out ADORABLE, and I'm going to borrow some earring making supplies from a friend who bought them in bulk to start a small buisness of reselling aliexpress charms as earrings but quit after a while and still had a ton of leftover supplies. I think I might want to add some twine and shrinky dink fairy wings to the earrings, so I spent a while making 2 test pieces and fucking up a scrap piece to test how to make the hole for the earring hardware. I talked to my dad bout my whole process when he walked in on me preheating the oven, and he agreed to buy the smallest drill bit the hardware store had to offer so I could just drill the hole after baking. luv u papa <3 by then it was getting a little late so I went back to my room. I only have a week or so to finish my project, and I didnt want to get into pinning and cutting fabric tonight, so instead I prepped my patterns. I zoomed into the pattern pdf so it was life sized and traced the missing edges that got cut off by my printer and cut out all the pieces with an xacto knife. I was struggling all day to figure out what the hell these 2 huge shapes labeled lower front and lower back were supposed to be, until I looked through the pdfs again and realized it wasn’t even for the version of the pattern I was using!! so I folded them up and added them to the scrap paper pile. now I have all my pattern pieces nicely prepped resting on an open drawer because otherwise my cat would step all over them. tomorrow I think I'll start pinning and cutting, but not until I read through all the instructions like 3 times and try to look up a youtube tutorial. but its 2:30 am now and im hungry, good night sleep well mwah <3

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #I didnt daw ay all today huh #I might have to Joanns again to get a zipper and special fabric marker that goes away with heat or water I forget which #April 2021 daily #2021 daily #also I got a dog sticker in my crackerjack box :) #I put it on my shirt uwu #long post

[preternatural-aura]

just a personal rant bout my thyroid issues and some other stuff, its really long tho..

well, the tests they ran to check for antibodies for grave’s disease and hashimotos came back in the normal range (a couple were on the cusp), I tried taking my adhd medication again (i had to stop because it exacerbated symptoms to the point of making me sick) and it started out awful, I took a xanax (plus the beta blockers ive been taking to manage symptoms) and im feeling better (normally around 2pm id be feeling the worst), so ill try taking it again tomorrow (and maybe take a xanax), the endocrinologist will probably want to recheck my t4 and tsh, i have been feeling like something might be pressing on my throat so they might do another ultrasound, of course my endocrinologist appointment isnt for another 2 and half weeks, ill keep taking my adhd meds through until finals are done (so a week) and if it still makes me feel awful then ill stop them, if the side effects are lessening, then ill keep taking them, the side effects go away after like a week normally, i cant afford to lose anymore weight so im gonna be checking that, its hard to say how much weight ive lost because i havent been checking it lately, and at the doctor they always weigh me with my clothes and shoes on plus the stuff in my pockets, i weighed 115lbs this morning, ill check again in the evening after i eat, which would be when i weigh the most, or right now, but i dont want to take my shoes and jeans off, oh i also used to wear a binder to the doctor and i dont do that anymore obviously and binders are kinda heavy, there is a chance this whole thyroid thing is going away, they said that was a possibility, but im afraid that tests will come back normal while i still have symptoms, i hope this isnt some weird and rare disease, but my mom wouldnt let it go untreated if it is, we would just try to find a specialist or something, first, of course, the endocrinologist will probs recheck my t4 and tsh and maybe the ab tests and do another ultra sound, and if all that stuff is still inconclusive well do that radioactive iodine imaging test

and ive got an appoitment with that physicians assistant about my asthma and to remove my mole, and the thing about my asthma is that i need to excersize, but i have a hard time doing that because executive dysfunctioning and time and also i have excersize induced asthma and i cant really use rescue inhalers because they make me feel fucking awful, i carry it around but i never use it unless i absolutely have to, like if i didnt i would have to go to the hospital, and i hadnt used one for years, so unless i cant breathe and/or im wheezing uncontrollably then i wont use it, i hate these heart palpitations, my heart rate isnt 120 or higher anymore, even when i was having palpitations earlier, my mom said my heart rate was around 85, which is super nice, the stimulant did make my hands get really cold, because i already have poor circulation to my hands and feet, but see stimulants are vaso-constrictors, meaning they constrict blood veins, which makes my already poor circulation even worse, on the bright side, i got around 8 hours of sleep the past two nights, which is super awesome because ive chronically been getting around 6-7 hours, and i really need 9-10 hours, so while it hasnt been this horrible insomnia, it has been chronically getting not quite enough sleep which just leaves me tired all day everyday, and i try not to compare myself to other people, but its hard in college when everyone talks about how they pull all nighters and shit, because ive had insomnia where i get fewer than 3 or 4 hours of sleep because i CANT sleep and it feels awful, i run on adrenaline the next day but it ends up just being so bad, so im trying to remember that only getting 6-7 hours is still bad, especially because im an adolescent and need lots of sleep and cant afford to lose a bunch of sleep

#just a vent #idk why anyone would want to reblog this but please dont #lms if you read it and feel cofortable doing so #but its super long and barely puntuated so idk why you would read it