#ill fight anybody ill fight everybody

[cythanadiel]

a babygirl

#everyone move aside this is my new son #ill fight anybody ill fight everybody #absolute babygirl #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #mk #reptile #syzoth #netherrealm studios #nrs #fanart #digital art #art #my art #cythandraws

[hearts-hunger]

oh are we all having a terrible day?? sweet i was literally just about to make a post about how bad my day has been so i guess i'm glad i'm not the only one?

#i had a huge fight with my dad this morning and the whole day has gone downhill from there!!! i'm feeling so ill from all the badness <3 #and i came on to see if anybody wanted to do soft hours before i got in the shower to try and wash off the Bad Vibes #but i see everybody's having an awful day!!!! love that for us and also what the fuck is going on!!!! #maddie.txt

[itis-obsessesions]

ANNABELL LEE

Is such a complex and lovely character, I can't. The difference between her thought process and Lenores thought process is beautiful and interesting-

She's a woman who very early in her life understood that she was not in a position of power, just by being a woman. That her life is controlled by a system everybody abides by that will never favor her. That she has to follow the rules of said system or even her family will cast her out as a mad woman, evident by the way they treat her anxiety/panic attacks. Nobody is safe. Nobody can be trusted. To keep safe is to follow the rules-

And the only way to get on top of anything, to gain even a smidge of control is to use the rules to you're advantage.

But this in turn demands of her to turn off care and empathy for others (which she is capable of btw. Annabell Lee is not just some unfeeling monster) Because factoring in how it would affect the other person, caring about another person is a risk factor to herself. And anyway, its not like anybody truly cares about her, right? Its not like there are people out there who would be willing to have empathy for her. They pretend, just as she does because it is polite. Some may even mean it on some level, but not truly. Not wholeheartedly. That's how she sees it.

She's on her own. Her true self is utterly and fully on her own.

Cue Lenore. Lenore started out just the same as any other person Annabell Lee could take advantage of. However, with one additional perk. She was a break. Annabell Lee didn't have to watch herself as closely, not maintain a facade as tightly as usual. Because she is talking to a mad woman. A woman diagnosed with hysteria, a woman shut in in the basement. She has no social power over Annabell Lee. Any accusations or similar can be explained away with her mental illness. So, with time she gets comfortable. Relaxes just a tiny bit. Lenore is pleasant company, sensible and quite smart to talk to.

She, on some level, understands Annabell Lee. And then. Then she cares.

And that is such an unfamiliar feeling. Such a dangerous sentiment. And ridiculous too, for why? Annabell is just taking advantage. Perhaps that's why Lenore is mad, for not quite understanding that. The social games and ladders.

And then the house burns down. And she grieves for a brief friend she had to leave, the first person who really cared.

And then Leo shows up.

Actually taking advantage of the rules, but in such a mad way, it is utterly baffling for her. It is the ultimate proof of care. Lenore cares for Annabell so deeply, it seems, she's willing to give away her life.

And she cracks. Because she desperately craves that. True companionship. True care. True love. And Lenore, wonderful, selfless Lenore, is willing to give her that. Does it with a smile and sacrifice.

So. The only sensible thing to do now. Is to make sure she keeps it. So, she cares back. So fiercely, she's willing to kill for Lenore. So fiercely, that Lenore becomes the only other real person in her life. The only other real person in the whole world.

It feels special. They are the only ones worth fighting for. They are a team, a unit. Annabell Lee truly cares for Lenore because Lenore will always truly care back. And that is worth more to her than a million other lives, that have never known true care even if it stood before them, waving.

Now, imagine the heartbreak when she understands, that Lenore is willing to truly care for others too. She never truly got the fact that Lenore wasn't all alone like her. That Lenore had a brother who truly cared and that Lenore became a madwoman because of said brothers death. She doesn't get it, that real connections do not require sacrifice. It is scary for Annabell that Lenore is willing to give up a lot for people, she perceives will simply not do so back.

Fact is Lenore was Annabells first and only friend. But Annabell is not the first and only friend of Lenores.

Fact is that Annabell thinks the only way to be safe and get ahead is to play by the set up rules. But Lenore doesn't see the sense in doing that if it harms her friends. Lenore would rather rip the system and rules apart than play by them. And that's always been the case.

Even if to Annabell, previously, it didn't look it. Even if Annabell thought they were the same.

And the most heart wrenching thing? Annabell will continue to act like she always has, because she values their relationship too much, values Lenore too much. Because that's how she keeps the things important to her, her life, her love, safe. And it will continue to drive Lenore away, because it requires sacrifice of people Lenore is fond of.

They will only get somewhere healthy when Annabell gains another friend and starts understanding Lenores point of view.

But Annabell is scared of that. It feels unsafe. She might become a madwoman.

So. We are at a cross point. Either Annabell Lee gives in or Annabell Lee loses Lenore.

Which. Fun. Is she gonna give in? Not without a fight, I imagine. It goes against everything she ever build up, against every rule of being she ever set for herself.

It is going to be difficult.

And there will be loss.

I'm so very excited to see it.

#i might have missed some stuff #feel free to add onto my amateur analysis #it was fun tho #annabell lee is just #chefs kiss of writing #pity people hate her #annabel lee whitlock #annabel lee webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #annabel lee x lenore #lenore #lenore vandernacht #lenore nevermore #nevermore #webcomic nevermore #nevermore webtoon #nevermore webcomic

[celiamae99]

JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, talk about anxiety, depression, and mental illness, talk about self harm, almost self harming, physical and mental abuse, mature themes

Mature readers ONLY. 18+. I will check profiles periodically and will block minors bc this post is MA!

John B was mad. He was mad at JJ and he was mad at you. When he agreed to his baby sister (by 2 minutes) dating his person, he never thought it would result in fights this alarming. Sarah stood next to him, your best friend. Your person. While Sarah was yours, JJ was his. And it was awful to watch their favorite people be in this much pain. They were watching the fight like a tennis match.

“Would you just admit that you have a hero complex and the need to save everybody?” You screamed at him. They were standing in the kitchen, arguing again about JJ taking the bike and being reckless again.

“I’m trying to save you! And John B! And Kie, Sarah, Pope. Don’t you get that?” JJ screamed back at you. “And if that means getting hurt, or even killed, I’ll do that! I’ll do that for you guys because I love you.”

Tears streamed out of your eyes, running fast down your cheeks. “But what about me?” You demanded. “What do I do when you get wrapped up in something that so messed up that you can’t come back from it? That John B and I can’t fix for you. What if you do? What do I do then?” You yelled at him.

JJ and John B stared at you as you screamed. “Huh?” You screamed after a minute. “Answer me!” You screamed, shoving JJ back. JJ, mind going quickly into fight or flight mode, shoved your hands away, causing your wrist to twist and crack. John B quickly stepped in between you guys, preventing anything from happening further.

“Don’t do this guys!” John B yelled at you both, eyes ablaze.

You froze for two seconds. You shoved JJ. You’re sweet JJ, who loved you so much he was willing to sacrifice himself so that you would be okay. The JJ who’s dad was a dick to him, beat the crap out of him every chance he got; verbally abused him because he did have anybody else to take his crap out on. You shoved him. Instinctively you pulled your wrist to your chest.

“I - I -” You stumbled over your words. Trying to find the right ones to apologize, but JJ ran out the back door of the house before you could say anything.

“I have to go after him, make sure that he doesn’t -”

You nodded. Sarah coming up next to you as you fell into her arms sobbing as you tried to wrap your mind around what had happened.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

You spent the whole day in your room. Once you stopped sobbing, Sarah took you to your room and you climbed into your bed, holding the stuffed animal JJ had won for you when you were 10 and staring at the wall. Sarah didn’t try to talk to you, she just sat with you until John B got back. You heard mumblings of their conversation but didn’t try to understand what you couldn’t hear. Your mind was reeling.

Sarah made you eat a banana and drink water. She said the potassium would be needed and that you couldn’t get dehydrated.

Later that evening, John B came into your room and sat down on your bed. “We’re having a fire tonight, just our people. Kie, Sarah, Pope, me.” He didn’t say JJ. “JJ’s at work, said he has a car to fix up, he’ll probably show up late.” He continued on. “You need to get out of this room.” He deadpanned. “I’ll carry you out if I have to.”

You knew he was right. So after five minutes, you got out of bed, threw your hair in a very messy bun and an old maroon sweatshirt of JJ’s and grey sweatpants.

You walked into the living room and saw Sarah talking quietly with John B. When you entered room, they quickly turned their conversation to you.

“You look like shit,” she told you, scanning you from head to toe.

You rolled your eyes. “She definitely knows how to charm you, Big Bear.”

“She sure does.” You had been calling John B Big Bear for your whole life, and he in return called you Baby Bear.

“You need tequila,” Sarah decided after a minute.

“Yes I do.” You nodded in agreement. John B rolled his eyes and sighed. Tequila and you had never been good friends unless you were sad, and in which case, meant that you tried to drown your sorrows with tequila.

You had grabbed your bottle of tequila, favorite blanket, phone, and crocs before heading out to join the rest of the gang. Once you got there, you settled yourself on the long that you usually shared with JJ.

Kie and Pope were together and so we’re John B and Sarah. They were talking about a double date they were going on tomorrow, which left you to look out at the water and your mind wander.

After everybody had gotten a little buzzed and or a little high, you went into your dark and twisty place. How could you have shoved JJ? After everything that his father had done to him, you did that? How could you guys come back from this? What if he left you?

You always knew you weren’t good enough for JJ. You thought it all the time. Even when JJ tried to reassure you, there was still the nagging thought in the back of your mind, telling you that you weren’t enough. JJ was so much better than you, and he could have anybody he wanted, so why did he settle on you? You weren’t special. You weren’t smart and kind like Pope, you weren’t chill and relaxed like Kiara, you weren’t overly ambitious and hopeful like John B, you weren’t witty or gentle like Sarah, you weren’t feisty or adventurous like JJ. There wasn’t anything that made you special, you thought.

The grounding exercises that your therapist gave you hardly worked anymore. You were too out of touch with your body to understand what you needed. You teared up. You blinked ferociously, refusing to cry. You had done enough of that today.

“Hey,” Sarah said plopping down next you and stealing half your blanket. You leaned in to her, sighing deeply. “You’re not allowed to go dark and twisty on me and not tell me.” You rolled your eyes. Sarah knew you better than pretty much anybody did, besides maybe JJ. She knew your thoughts were eating you alive.

“Do you think he’ll show?” You ask quietly, picking at your phone case anxiously.

“If he doesn’t, then he’ll have to deal with the wrath of me, and I don’t think he wants that.

“Sarah,” I whispered. “I was - I mean - I -” You stumbled over your words again, blinking faster than before as a few tears betrayed you. You’re breathing quickened. You were spiraling.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she kneeled in front of you as you let out a sob. “It’s JJ, Y/N/N. It’s not like it’s some dumb turon or Kook, it’s JJ.” She smiled at you, keeping her voice gentle, trying to calm you down.

You put your head in your hands and continued to cry, trying hard to catch your breath, but nothing worked. Sarah’s words weren’t registering in your brain. You could barely making out John B calling JJ and telling him to come over because of your anxiety, but you couldn’t find it in you to tell him to stop. You shook Sarah off you before you took off running towards the house. You needed to be alone.

You shut the door to the bathroom, hand over your mouth trying to stifle the sobs. You glanced around the bathroom trying to focus on something solid when your eyes landed on the razor.

You zeroed in. You hadn’t done anything in months. Before you and JJ were together. Sarah had caught you and made you start therapy. JJ and John B knew, and so did Pope but you didn’t talk about it a lot. There were bigger problems to worry about.

But the therapy wasn’t working. You weren’t going anymore. The pain was still there. Deep, caught in your chest. The numbness of cutting would take away the pain. It would stop. You inched towards the razor. Just one cut, you thought. It wouldn’t affect much and it would take away the pain, even if it was just for a few seconds. Nobody would ever know. You grabbed the razor. You didn’t hear the knocking on the door. You inched the razor towards your wrist and screamed when the door banged open and JJ caught you.

Both your eyes widened. You opened and closed your mouth repeatedly. Trying to make words, but for the third time today, the English language failed you.

“Y/N,” JJ said sternly. “Give it to me.”

You shook your head rapidly. “I need it to stop, JJ.” You said fast and quietly. “I just need to turn everything off.” JJ stepped forward. You gripped the razor tighter. “I just need it to all stop. Just for a minute.” You cried, chest starting to heave again.

“Sweetheart, this is not how you make it stop. If it stops, it doesn’t start again. It’s an addiction to you. And it’s not going to make it better, it’s only going to get worse. It may seem like a short term solution, but long term you know it will only cause you more pain.” You knew he was right. JJ was always right when it came to stuff like this. “Baby, I’m going to grab it now.” He took it gently from your hand and threw it into the sink. He grabbed you just in time as your legs gave out. You let out guy wrenching sobs.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Once you had calmed down from your episode, you lied back down on your bed staring at the wall. JJ was back in the living room talking with John B and Sarah. After a little while, he slipped back into the bedroom and slid in next to you.

“We need to talk.” Those four words made you shoot up. You knew those words. You had used them on JJ when you had made the decision to split up for a few months a year ago.

“JJ,” you croaked. You didn’t want this. You couldn’t handle him leaving you right now.

“Just listen to me, okay?” He grabbed your hand. “We’re not in the same place right now.” He said gently, his whole gut, heart, and brain hating this, but he knew it was right. For both of you. “You’re so anxious, all the time. Anytime JB and I go to do something you panic until we’re back. If you go with, you panic until it’s done. You pushed me today babe. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve it, because I did. I needed a reality check, but babe, we need help.” He took a deep breath, his heart breaking. “And we need to do that apart, I need to do that apart.”

Tears welded up in your eyes again. This wasn’t happening. This could not be happening.

“JJ, please.”

“I’m not saying we break up, I’m saying let’s take a few months and -”

“Months?” You cried out. You didn’t want to be apart from him for more than a day, let alone months.

“Y/N. We need this okay? You need time to figure stuff out, I need time to figure stuff out. I’m not saying we break up -”

“It sounds like we are!”

“We just need time, okay? Talk to your therapist, work on you. We’ll go from there, okay? But for now, we need space.”

And with that, JJ left, taking your heart with him as he made his was to the couch, where he’d be spending most of his nights.

Pt. 2 coming!!!

#jjmaybankimagine #jjmaybankimagineangst #JJ maybank #outerbanks #imagines #jj maybank x routledge!reader #JJ imagine #outerbanks imagine #JJ maybank imagine #JJ maybank imagine angst #JJ x reader #JJ maybank x reader

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Show Off - Utahime

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, mirror sex, reader's a bit of a bimbo, utahime is more dominant, lingerie

A/n: Day 12: Lingerie! I'm fighting for my fucking life guys trying to catch up to kinktober

Word count: 2.0k

Read on Ao3

Utahime lifted her gaze up at the miniature store sign above the changing room doors. Stockings!!! And in a cotton-candy neon pink stinging her eyes the longer she held her glare. She sighed.

This was the��last place she wanted to be on her off day: Huddled up in the stuffy changing room area of a swanky clothing store, the humidity sticking clothes to her skin. 

But you had insisted (and when had she ever been able to say no to you?), Shoko and Mei Mei voting on the trip as well. It had been unanimous. Utahime had felt particularly betrayed by Shoko. Traitor.

Utahime switched her glare to her phone, the blue-light glare aiding the imminent headache creeping to life. Another sigh.

Of course, there was another reason she didn’t want to be here. Seeing you in tight lingerie was not going to be good for her.

Shoko knew that.

Girls a decade younger giggled as they passed by with their chosen garments packed in designer paper bags. Utahime’s head thudded into the wall.

“How much longer are you guys gonna be?” she whined, fanning herself.

“It won’t be long!” You assured.

“Just a few minutes longer.” Mei Mei’s dulcet tones flitted through the changing room door. 

Utahime snorted to herself. “We all know you’re not going to buy anything.”

Mei peeked out the door, eyes perennially sparkling with ill-intent. “Who said anything about buying?”

Utahime rolled her eyes as  You and Shoko cackled offscreen.

“I found something I like.” That was Shoko. “Having a little trouble with the strap, though —“

Utahime struggled to imagine Shoko being sexy for anybody. But, she supposed, a woman could be sexy for herself. She couldn’t help but ask. “You’re trying on lingerie? What’s the occasion?”

“Why does there have to be an occasion, Uta? Maybe she just wants to look snatched.” Mei Mei echoed her unspoken sentiments.

“In fact, now that we’re on the subject,” Shoko began, “I am seeing a little man on the side.”

You gasped, followed by a harsh zipper sound. “Shoko! You never said!” You sighed wistfully. “Everybody’s got a boo these days.”

Shoko poked her head out this time, smirked at Utahime.

Utahime glared as Shoko giggled and retreated into the changing room.

“Done!” You said.

Anxiety married anticipation in Utahime, whirled her stomach as changing room locks came undone.

Shoko was first, fully dressed again in sweater and jeans — and of course never without a cigarette. “It’s just a bra and I’m buying it,” she said when Utahime gave her a crooked look. “They should let me wear it out if I show them the tag.”

Mei Mei was next, twirling in her new ebony-black corset. “Oh, my paypigs are gonna love this,” she said with a giggle.

Shoko laughed as Mei Mei felt the lacy fabric. Your door opened unceremoniously, jumpscaring the three of them.

Utahime stared wide-eyed and speechless as you presented yourself as though on the runway; it was a matching lacy bra and panties. The cups hugged your breasts in delicious black silk, and lace tickled up your sweet thighs from the stockings. You giggled as Shoko and Mei Mei cooed their approval.

Utahime’s mouth ran dry.

“Do you like it?” You asked her, turning to flash your ass. “Does it look like it fits?”

Utahime swallowed nothing. She composed herself when she felt Shoko smirking, adjusting her baseball cap to conceal a blush she knew was there. 

“It’s — it’s nice,” she told you. “And very pretty on you.”

Your blush tore at Utahime’s heart. “Awww, thanks, Uta!” 

“Let’s check out.” Mei Mei walked from the changing room, the clothes she had arrived with presumably in her bag. “That is, if you ladies are happy with everything?”

“You’re going like that?” Utahime deadpanned. 

“Why, of course!” Mei Mei said, giving another twirl. “Maybe I’ll pick another pig or two on the way home?” 

Mei Mei sashayed out of the changing rooms. 

“Oh, I’m not,” You said, still blushing. You retreated into the changing room and closed the door. “Gotta get this home in one piece, after all! I would have to rip it!”

Shoko sauntered toward Utahime and gave her a wink.

“Take your time,” she murmured before following Mei Mei.

Utahime gave her third sigh of the afternoon and reached down for her bag. 

“Ah!”

Utahime lifted her gaze to your door. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, it’s just — ah, this hook, it’s so stubborn.” Your elbow must have knocked against one of the walls; there was a thump, then another. “Ah, I can’t get it. Uta, d’you think you could come in and help me?”

Utahime’s handbag fell from her hands. “Uh … Y— Yes, sorry, uh, just a second!”

Utahime’s hand quivered over the door; it wasn’t locked. She walked in on trembling legs.

Your back was turned to her, facing the full-body mirror, gaze lowered as you focused on the strap buckle. You groaned after another failed attempt to unhook it.

“You know what, maybe I won’t buy it,” You quipped with a nervous laugh. You glanced in the mirror at Utahime, almost for approval. That was funny, right?

Utahime laughed as she approached, wiping sweaty hands on her jeans. “It’d be a shame; it looks really pretty on you.”

You met Utahime’s gaze in the mirror. She cleared her throat. Slowly, you turned to her. A few seconds of silence as you smiled up at her.

“What’s the point of sexy lingerie if you can’t get out of it?” You said — purred.

Utahime blinked. Had she — had she heard you correctly?

You stepped toward her. “Help me get out of this, Uta?” You batted imploring eyelashes. “Please?”

Utahime’s lips parted as you came forward to plant yours against her jaw. Utahime flinched, froze, her heart drumming in her ears as you kissed down the outline of her jaw to her neck. 

“(Y/n) —!”

She had let you back her into the wall opposite the mirror. Utahime tried to grasp you to stop you — it was a bad idea; everywhere she touched was naked skin or skin housed in lace. You were soft to the touch everywhere.

“Mmm … Yes?”

“What are you doing?” Panic sprang in Utahime’s voice. 

“Mmm …” You raised your head to meet her eye. “Kissing you, silly. What do you think?”

“No,” Utahime moaned. She fixed her hands to your hips as you continued smooching her neck. “Stop. You’re — you’re drunk.”

You faced her again, a soft glare there. “I’m not drunk.” Your hand snaked down her thigh, coming to caress her clothed sex. “I’ve never been more sober, or conscious, of what I’m doing.”

Utahime shivered. She bit her lip as you massaged her cunt through her jeans. Your breasts crushed against hers as you kissed her full on the mouth. Utahime parted her lips in shock, inadvertently inviting your tongue to rub against hers. You bucked against her as you explored her mouth. The friction — 

Utahime felt a damn break; she flipped, flattened you against the wall. She broke the kiss, looked down at you.

“Fine then,” she said. “If this is what you want …!”

Her hand slipped past your silk panties, not yet paid for, and played with your moist slit.

“A—ahah …!” You threw your head back as Utahime slipped fingers into the slit of your cunt. “N — No fair, I think you — hah — should get out of your clothes, too …”

Utahime swept two fingers against your clit, relished your startled moan. She nestled toward your ear. “You’re in no place to make demands.” She yanked your panties down and continued her work on you, fiddling with your clit as you gasped. “Dragging me to this place to watch you prance around like a little slut. You know this set is too small for you, and yet you still …”

She scissored her fingers and squeezed them between your clit, jerking it off as she kissed at the shell of your ear.

“Aah! Ha— aha!” 

“Pipe down,” Utahime ordered, fondling one of your tits. “You want the whole store to hear you?”

Her hand, so occupied with your tit, wandered behind you and, with only one hand unhooked your bra. It fell away to your waist before Utahime threw it to the floor. 

You stared, half-naked and breathless, face brushed with red. “How … can I make it up to you?”

Utahime licked her lips — until she realized she could lick you and brought her fingers from your cunt to suck on. She paused in thought before glancing to the mirror. 

“Take those off.” She motioned toward the panties. “Then sit by the mirror.”

You did as instructed, leaving the stockings on. You strolled to the mirror and sat. 

“Spread your legs,” Utahime said. 

You did so. Utahime knelt by your, steadied on her knees. She brought one hand to cup and play with your neglected breast while the other snaked down the plane of your stomach to your cunt. 

“Look at yourself.” She spread your lips, the slick pooled like a honeypot for you to witness. “So you wanted this? To let me see your slutty clothes?”

You whined as Utahime flicked at your lobe, circled your clit with her fingers.

“Y—Yes!”

“You’re worse than Mei Mei.” Utahime slapped your cunt and you flinched from the sting. “Face the mirror. When I take you home tonight, you’re going to undress me and get me off.”

Utahime sunk her fingers into your slick entrance. She pinched and toyed with your nipple as you squirmed in her care. As ordered, your eyes remained fixed to the mirror. 

“You’re going to eat me out and suck on my clit.” Utahime paused as you cried out; she’d found the rough skin of your g-spot while her thumb flicked at your clit. “That’s how you’re going to make it up to me, understand?”

You arched in her hold as she teased you with a potential orgasm. You nodded frantically. “Yes, yes! Oh, god, I want that so much!”

Utahime kissed and sucked at your neck, adding a third finger at last to your torment. You sucked her fingers in with fervor. She thumbed harder at your clit, her other hand forcing one of your tits up to suck at its nipple.

You trembled as her tongue swirled around your bud, the pace of her fingers impossible to keep up with.

“I’m gonna — aha —!”

Utahime withdrew her fingers.

You gasped. “No! No!”

She caressed your face, slick with your wetness, and forced you to look at her from over your shoulder. 

“I’ve loved you for so long,” she said. “I want you to look at me when you cum, all right?”

You nodded, eyes dreamy. You trembled with anticipation as she snaked her hand back down to your needy cunt and submerged her fingers in again.

You captured Utahime’s lips, kissing and licking her tongue as her fingers worked your insides and clit. 

A string of saliva bridged your lips and hers as you parted, eyes widening with the coming climax.

“Cum for me,” Utahime urged. “Mhm, c’mon, you can do it, cum, cum —“

Utahime cupped your mouth in time to stifle your scream. You clenched around her fingers, but she kept massaging that perfect spot inside you. You fell backward, into bliss and into her as she rode you through your orgasm. 

Utahime watched you fall apart in the mirror. She couldn’t have dreamed of a prettier sight. “That’s a good girl, finally doing what you’re told.”

You came down from your high. You stared up at her dreamily. Utahime withdrew her fingers again, licking away your orgasm from her pruney fingers. 

“Did you know I had feelings for you?” Utahime asked as you came down.

Your eyes glittered. “No — I hoped you did! Oh no!” You looked to your drenched stockings, then to the bra and panties strewn over. “I didn’t pay for those!”

“Don’t worry.” Utahime said. “I’ll buy them for you. I want to see you in them again.”

#utahime x reader #jjk smut #utahime smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #utahime iori x reader

[beanghostprincess]

How would you rank each strawhat based on morality? Of cours they are all good people, but some are certainly more and others slightly less

I mean... I don't think morality is something we can make rankings of because it varies depending on your philosophy and a good person isn't always the one following the conventional, Kantian rules of morality. But I know where you're coming from. I guess I can just base it on my own understanding of what morality is, which basically follows the whole "an action is good when the outcome affects positively the majority of people/makes somebody external to you feel good/doesn't harm anybody external" (aka selflessness and altruism) and "an action doesn't have to be necessarily good and you can still be a good person because your initial intentions were good, even if the outcome wasn't the one you expected". So, basically, this ranking is based on altruism, selflessness, and the way their actions affect others and what are their views on society/how they behave with others. I also have in mind why they do the things they do and if their positive actions are done out of selfishness or pure altruism.

1- Chopper

Isn't it obvious? His whole character is literally about helping others. He's a caretaker who looks out for everybody and the common well-being and happiness. He has a strong sense of morality that's based on other people's joy and freedom, and he fights for the rights of every human being despite their background. He doesn't care about whether you're evil or not when it comes to your life, always saving the ones who need saving. His vision of the world is pretty simple, honestly. Besides, kindness is often related to naivete and he's well-known for that too. He treats people with respect, and kindness, often mimics others to fit in, and the only times he harms people is to fight for what he thinks is right (which is pretty often related to basic human rights being violated in a medical sense). Being a doctor doesn't make you morally good, but being this type of doctor specifically definitely does. He'd pretty much sacrifice himself if it meant helping others, using himself as a tester for various antidotes. He's by far the nicest straw hat. He's both selfless and altruistic and he even has his own set of morals that involve protecting humanity's basic rights when it comes to living. Wanting to cure every illness and make a world in which nobody can die before their time is basically his whole character.

2- Brook

What sets Chopper and Brook apart from the other Straw Hats is that they are pretty active in their altruism and try to do good for people unrelated to them. His whole thing is quite literally making others laugh from happiness. He's a musician. His whole life before joining the Straw Hats was to be in a crew full of artists who lived to make others happy with music. That's the most selfless passion ever. His cheerful and jokester personality is pretty much meant to cope in a funnier way to make others laugh and save them from being worried about him. He keeps wanting others to be comfortable and together as a family, he enjoys unity from spending so much time alone but it doesn't come from a place of selfishness, because he keeps wanting others to enjoy their time together. He might need/want company, but the way he asks for it is in a very polite way and he never wants to bother other people. His whole character is literally focused on wanting to go see Laboon and make him know he's alive. He could've tried to k word himself in the years he spent alone, but he didn't because somebody else was waiting for him. He might be a pervert but he asks for consent, having in mind what women want and he doesn't push things further if they don't want to. Brook is the definition of a very jokester gentleman with knowledge for consent and a very selfless attitude towards life, valuing others' needs before his own. Although he doesn't hesitate to cut people in half, he only does this to his enemies and, y'know, pirate life. And often it's either needed or they don't even end up dead, so... The reason he fights is to always keep others safe, rather than worrying about his own life (even though he's already dead yohoho!). I think he's one of the characters, along with Chopper and Robin, that value life the most and that's what makes them so good at protecting others.

3- Jinbe

The reason why Jinbe is third is because his sense of morality varies from Brook and Chopper's more empathetic and nondiscriminatory way of protecting people. Jinbe tends to follow logic within morality instead of instant emotions and I personally value more people who extend their empathy to everyone without a second thought than genuinely thinking about it first before acting. He has his own set of morals and what he considers to be right or wrong. He thinks first before doing anything and considers the outcome of whether saving somebody is plausible or not in the situation. That doesn't make him selfish, but just a logical person. What sets the difference between the other two and him is that Jinbe won't help everyone and Chopper/Brook will not hesitate to do so. Jinbe's caring side is mostly shown to be to his loved ones and he doesn't generally extend that behavior to people outside of his circle. He literally refused to look after Luffy because he didn't know the guy, even if he was Ace's friend. He acknowledges he can't help everyone and just takes care of his people. And when he does that, he does it in the most selfless and self-sacrificing of ways! He would die for his loved ones without hesitating and his whole character arc is about Jinbe deserving a break from looking after everyone instead of enjoying his own life. They quite literally have to force him to follow what he truly wants and yet he still goes back to help his people before joining the Straw Hats. So the reason why Jinbe is third is because he's just like Chopper and Brook, except that he acknowledges the reality of the world and uses a more logical approach, being more personal when it comes to taking care of people. Also, he wants to keep peace around the world and the way he approaches people is in a very respectful manner and tries to keep conflicts at bay, which is directly looking out for common ground and pacifism. I almost forgot to mention his whole deal with the liberation of slaves, and that's obviously something that makes him an even greater person. He fights for a cause, against the unfairness of the world. He makes the world a better place.

4- Robin

I've had a hard time trying to think about whether she should go before or after Jinbe, but after some time debating it, I think this is the right place for her. Her whole character is basically all about learning how to live and love because she never had the chance to do so after so many years of suffering on her own. Her concept of helping others might be more altruistic than Jinbe's because I view her as somebody who would follow Chopper/Brook's standards and help everybody in need, instead of only keeping her protectiveness to her morality and circle. However, even if she's more altruistic and empathetic with outsiders, her view of socializing is more cynical than Jinbe's. She chooses a more abrupt way of fighting for what's right and instead of looking out for common peace and ground, she doesn't mind cracking a few necks and spines. She has fun with chaos and dark imagery, unlike Jinbe, who's a very caring man. And she is caring too! The sweetest! But Jinbe worries more about what could happen while Robin is still learning how to have fun and just vibes. She has this bit of selfishness and enjoyment for chaos and having a good time that Jinbe doesn't have because he's calmer than her. She's calm but she enjoys the fun drama, and Jinbe cares about his surroundings' well-being more. The way she treats enemies is crueler because Jinbe is polite while she doesn't care about cracking a few necks. Even if she's more empathetic towards strangers, looking out for the general peace is conventionally better for society than cracking people's necks, so, yeah. And she's a revolutionary and their views might follow a set of morals about freedom, but the way they deal with social issues is very arbitrary. Basically, she's a sweetie but she has a bit of a dark side.

5- Usopp

He's the sweetest guy of all time and normally wouldn't hurt a fly and he goes all the way to make everybody feel comfortable and have a sense of unity. However, the main difference between Usopp and the others (this is where the ranking kind of starts being more and more different in terms of complex morality) is that he's selfish out of fear and self-defense. A thing that is completely natural and proof that thinking about himself and his loved ones first doesn't make him a bad person, just careful and human. Selfishness is often seen as something bad and against the benefits of society as a whole, and it might be, but it doesn't make him a bad person (that again, I don't think we're able to judge this either). The cool thing about Usopp is that he's a growing character. He keeps learning more about himself every day and, even if he's a "coward", the bravest thing somebody can do is fight against fear. Especially when it comes to insecurities and when you're probably about to die. He isn't altruistic in the sense of risking his life for a stranger (unless he feels guilty about it or has the need to do so) but he is the kindest in the sense of embracing friendship and support. He brings domesticity and comfort to quite literally everybody he encounters. He's easy to befriend and to talk to. His whole thing about lying comes from trying to cheer up his mom about his dad leaving them, c'mon, even if he was suffering because of her illness. He fights for the ones he loves even if he's scared, and when he refuses to fight is when he doesn't know the people that much and, to be honest, fair. Nobody should be forced to sacrifice themselves for people they don't care about and I personally don't think that can talk about morality. Besides, the way he jokes around and does his little shenanigans with Luffy not really caring about the chaos around (besides when, y'know, personal safety) only makes everything I said more obvious.

6- Sanji

Sanji is a very... Complex character. The duality of men, basically. When he's kind he's at his best and when he's creepy he's at his worst but then he also has this view on how much people's lives matter depending on what he personally thinks. He's very emotion/trauma-driven, so perhaps that's why it's really hard to tell whether he follows a conventional morality or his own. His whole character arc is about him realizing that he's kind, empathetic, self-sacrificing, and everything the Vinsmokes aren't. But he also has a calculative and cold side that shows up when he doesn't give a single fuck about the people he's talking to. Basically, Sanji can be both the nicest and the meanest guy in the world depending on what he thinks of you, but he'll never let you starve due to his own morals of "nobody should die of hunger". Like he might beat the shit out of you but he's making you a damn risotto before the fight. Sanji is a very kind soul and he looks out for others and always puts them first, but his morality is pretty much focused on his past experiences. He also has these preferences for women, which are not morally correct (if you view this term as equality) because, unlike the other characters, he doesn't view their lives in the same way. However, that doesn't mean he hates men, he just puts women on a pedestal. He will put others first no matter what but if he doesn't care about you he won't give a single fuck. He literally was about to leave those kids in Punk Hazard and only helped because Nami said so. When he has to help somebody he cares about, though (or anybody, really) he always ends up self-sacrificing for the greater good. But it's not really coming from a place of "this is a good thing to do" but from a "their lives are more important than mine and I like to feel needed". Even if I do think he also does this out of empathy and love, both things coexist. He tries really hard to please others. He finds joy in feeling needed but also in making others happy, so it really is a mix of trauma and genuine kindness. He's quite literally the whole "doing good things because it feels good but also because it helps people, and helping people makes me feel good" but I don't think he does it in a selfish way, because he doesn't even realize he's doing it to feel better in the first place. He just doesn't value his life the way he should. So, TL;DR: Sanji's a selfless character when it comes to the people he loves and when his morals are at hand (huge difference between the other characters, who help people without having in mind those things), but if he doesn't care, he genuinely doesn't care. His self-sacrifice might come from a place of wanting to feel needed, and that could be seen as selfish, but I don't think he actively thinks about it. He just acts. The reason why he's number 6 despite being one of the kindest characters is because he canonically has preferences and uses his own morals to decide what to do instead of valuing everyone's lives equally. Besides, his whole thing being creepy with women (even if it's just a running gag) makes him less likable. But this is post-ts Sanji's fault mostly.

7- Franky

He's a family man. He puts his family and the people he loves first. He has his priorities and follows his morals about masculinity and that's it. Great pal that cares deeply about his loved ones and would beat the shit out of somebody if that person were to hurt him/them/his ideals. The reason why he's number seven despite seemingly being so nice at first, is pretty much because of his background. The whole Franky family? Beating up Usopp? Stealing the money? He was into very dark stuff, man. Mafia type of shit. That doesn't mean he's a bad person but his morals are pretty questionable, and they basically follow the "Protect family, protect home, protect ideals, befriend cool people, beat up people I don't like". He's very... American. I mean. He is technically canonically American and it makes a lot of sense if you think about it. He befriends people quickly but he can despise them just as quick too. Once again repeating the whole "only looks out for the people he likes or for his morals/what he loves" but if he isn't interested in something he'll just... Don't do it. But, yeah, he might be pretty empathetic because he resonates with all the sad stories he hears and doesn't hesitate to save people, but as I said, it's not really an "I save people because all people deserve to be saved" and it's more of an "I like this person so I'm gonna save them" which is exactly what happened with Usopp back at Water 7/Enies Lobby. I must say he's also kind, helpful, and energetic and loves to spread fun around the ship to make people happy. Seeing the ones he loves full of joy makes him complete, and that comes only from love. But he doesn't spread that love the way the characters before him would, you know? The reason why he's here is both because of his past and his behavior toward helping others which is basically about turning them into friends right away (which, you know, is exactly what Luffy does too).

8- Nami

She's a bitch. In the best of ways. But she's still a bitch. I'm always the first one to say she's one of the kindest characters. Her heart is just so, so big and she treats people in need with so much love it's obvious she has motherly traits and just loves to take care of people. However, the girl is greedy. She's greedy. Selfish. A liar. A thief. A bitch. A flirt. A queen, basically. To me, she's the best of the best and she would go on top if we were talking about best characters, but here we are judging based on morality and... She's just that. A bitch. With a very warm heart that just freezes the second she gives no fucks about you. You know, she's not evil, she just uses people to her advantage because (especially back at the start. Arlong Park things) she isn't used to trusting people. She has really obvious trust issues and she pretty much only loves a few specific people in her life. She would do anything for them. And yet, even when she loves somebody, she's still a manipulative menace. Morally speaking she's fucked up because she looks only for herself and the ones she cares about, and when she needs to run to save her ass, she does it. She doesn't leave anybody behind if she knows it's gonna be THE end, but if the one who's with her is only gonna end up hurt and not dead (usually Usopp. RIP Usopp) she's running for her life. Also, she's shameless and uses the strength of the Monster Trio to her advantage and I absolutely love it. She's the brains, let the others protect her fr. She knows she can fight, she's just scared af of dying and I find her so real for that. She likes teasing people and wrapping them around her finger to get what she wants! She doesn't care about anybody except for her crew because why would she? They're pirates! And she only does it when it's either about kids (she has a huge, soft, warm spot for them) or somebody she grows fond of. So, she's a sweetheart and a very caring girl to the ones she loves (or she's the meanest too, as a sign of true tough love) but she gives in between -10 and 0 fucks about others and will steal from them, no hesitation needed. She breaks so many morality norms within society that she makes the perfect pirate. Honestly, it looks like she's the only one in the crew interested in the part of being a pirate that's about stealing and treasures. I love her so damn much...

9- Luffy

A lot of people are going to disagree with me on this one, but this is the one part of the ranking I'm 100% sure about. And it's not even hard to explain: Luffy is selfish. He's a very selfish pirate. But he's empathetic, kind, and really easy to befriend if you manage him to like you. He also sees the good in people. But he isn't altruistic. He only helps people he chooses to help because he either likes them or finds them interesting enough or perhaps he owes them one or whatever. He loves people in such a huge way that, if he likes you, he'll do anything for you. Anything. But he only helps people he considers his friends/acquaintances without wanting to be seen as the hero of the story because he's literally just helping a friend out. If he doesn't care about somebody, he will just ignore them. Or be straight-up mean to them. He has no filter and if he hates somebody, he does it explicitly and without any remorse about it. He might be extremely empathetic and sacrifice his well-being but only when it comes to the people he cares about. Otherwise, he'll just groan in pain and boredom. On the other hand, Luffy is also Chaotic Good (haha me too!), and he has his own morals. They consist of freedom and liberty. He will help to free a whole village. Or prisoners. Slaves. Even if they aren't his friends. But only because all of his ideals are about freedom and choosing how to live your own life. It just bothers him personally. And it's not even "I'm helping these people be freed because they deserve it" it's more of a "The concept of cutting somebody's wings makes me so fucking furious I'm gonna make this everybody's problem. I don't care what these people do after this adventure, but they should be able to have the freedom to choose". So, yeah, basically Luffy follows his ideals of "I do whatever the fuck I want" and "Don't hurt my friends. Don't go against freedom. Or I'll beat you up". He's very stubborn, too. Chaotic. He doesn't think about how his decisions will affect others. He's a very independent person when it comes to decision making but he's also very needy in the sense of needing people around him to feel safe because he is, after all, an extrovert who loves his friends/family to death. Luffy is selfish because he does whatever he wants, even if he's empathetic, kind, and understanding. Those concepts can coexist perfectly.

10- Zoro

I don't think I need to explain this much, honestly? He's very introverted and doesn't let people in easily, so he just doesn't care about people who aren't in his circle. He fights for his loved ones to death and holds the people he loves close to his heart, to the point of doing anything for them. But... But his morals are basically shit outside of that. He used to kill pirates for bounties without any hesitation. He still pretty much murders the people they fight against without any remorse. And, y'know, they're pirates so I'm not judging here. He's selfish in the sense of being a very protective person with his things and his personal space, and he can come off as rude to outsiders because, well, he is genuinely rude to them because he genuinely doesn't care about them. Unless he befriends somebody, strangers to him are just strangers and he couldn't give less of a fuck about them and their tragedies UNLESS they're going through something that goes against his own/or a nakama's morals. I personally think he's a sweetheart, but if we're following moral codes about the well-being of society as a whole and how much positive impact somebody does? He's, like, the last one to choose from the crew. He cares about Kuina, his swords, Luffy, and his Nakama. Perhaps he befriends somebody along the way but it always feels more like just respect and not really a friendship. Not saying Zoro is a bad person for his introverted personality and cynical behavior, I just think he's very intimate with his circle and will only do what he thinks necessary instead of focusing on selflessness and altruism as a society. He's pretty strict about the pirate code and he follows those rules solemnly, so he does have a type of morality, but he doesn't focus on society's well-being. He doesn't mind causing chaos if he gets what he wants. He's just chilling. Passing by. I honestly think Nami/Zoro is a great friendship because they're both little shameless bitches. TL;DR: Zoro loves crew only. Fuck other people. Might respect acquaintances. Strong pirate/swordsman moral code. But he isn't an altruistic/society/people person.

#i spent the whole day writing this lmfao #okay so there are some things i would've liked to write better and expand more and also word in a better way but i didn't have the time #it's a pretty messy post so i'm sorry i couldn't do something better!!! #i understand if you think differently btw this is just my honest opinion and i see why it could be very recherché #btw i didn't reread all of this so if there are any mistakes just ignore them #one piece #straw hat pirates #tony tony chopper #soul king brook #jinbe #nico robin #usopp #black leg sanji #franky #nami #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro

[mikalame]

hi, I was wondering if you could write some Bill x reader angst please, where Bill gets jealous bc of the reader's "fan service" towards fanboys ( for example she flirts with them (as a joke ofc), winks at them on stage...) and one day they just have a big fight bc of that, also the reader is a girl and a member of the band. Bye ;)

This is My first angst, i dont think ill make a Pt2 to this as i kinda like were i finished it tell me what you think about it mabey ill do more angst who knows 🤫

Bills a little toxic in this, but they arent really good for eachother, just pretend the band wont break up or anything ahaha.

taglist@oppopotamus@adissonsss@violentnewmarley@saumspam

"Did you really have to wink at them again" Bill scoffs as he chucks his bag down on the floor walking into the hotel room.

You guys were bombarded when you got off the plane, which is to be expected as a rock star with a world wide fan base, having fans in every country in itself is good but not when your fans are a bit touchy and you have a bit of a playful personality.....expectantly when your boyfriend is a tad bit of a jealous person.

"Really Bill we just got here and you're already picking a fight, can't we just relax after a 13 hour flight, huh?" you question, getting sick of bills arguments you try and assure him that hes all you need but he cant seem to get it in his head, making you feel like your practically cheating on him when you arent your just being friendly, at least in your mind you are.

"Well you seem pretty energetic when that guy came up and hugged you, real tight" Bill looked away, his eyebrows pinched thinking over the airport insident.

"Bill really, i was JUST hugging him like i dont everybody, he wasnt special hes just a fan, a NICE fan who asked for a hug" You retort rolling your eyes, shoving your suit case under the bed not bothering to pack it away yet.

"Whats wrong Bill, huh, you seem so uptight about this whole thing, do you still think im gonna leave you, Bill, im YOUR girlfriend not anybody else and you may think that i would but i wont and i never will" You argue, completely over Bill and his jealousy.

"No because i know you would all the flirting you do when fans come up to you in party's you grab their arms and laugh at all their jokes, their not even funny half the time but you still laugh like its the funniest thing in the world, you BARELY EVER laugh at my jokes huh, am i not funny or something"

Bill continues to rant letting all of it off his chest, you felt your anger rise getting annoyed that bills painting you as some sort of villain that would cheat on him any chance she got.

"Yeah Bill i laught at their jokes because its NICE-"

"So is it a chore or something to laugh at my jokes" He cuts you off rolling his eyes walking over to the couch sitting down with a huff.

"No Bill and you know thats not true, its different, we're their IDOLS they look up to us, we're CELERITYS, im gonna laugh at whatever stupid joke they make to make THEM happy, to make THEM feel great that they made THEIR IDOL smile and laugh, its not that i dont find you funny bill because u dont your a funny person its just i dont see you or anyone in the band as a celebrity i just see you guys as normal people-".

"Oh so im not even named your boyfriend anymore im just a 'normal person' that babe feel REAL nice right now" He scoffs again flicking through the channels on the t.v.

"OMG BILL YOUR BEING SO DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW" you yell, frustrated about how hes acting right now, he does this all the time bringing this argument up again then leaving the argument when you starts to become frustrated.

"I cant do this bill" You sigh slumping down onto the hotel bed, Bill looks over raising his eyebrow he had never heard you give up in an argument your always fighting to prove that your right.

but as both of your emotions are high right now one of you are bound to say something your gonna regret, just like bill did.

"Oh yeah what to much for you?, you just gonna give up on this realtionship, not even gonna try and fix it, just gonna up and leave" he scoffs standing up, looking at you down his nose not thinking your actully going to do what he thought you would.....

but you did

"Bill were not good for each other, your to jealous and cant handle that im maybe am a bit to sweet to our fans but i cant help it a-and i know you cant handle it either, s-so i think this is where this relationship should end- this is for the best for both of us i think... and for the band you know" you say shakily standing up walking slowly to your bed that has the suitcase under it.

"W-wait baby y-your joking right, i didn't mean it, i'll get over it I SWEAR" he begs tears flowing down his cheeks his eyeliner and mascara running with the tears.

"No Bill you wont, this relationship wont work, it's toxic for me and you, this- this is for the best i think" You say sighing as you pull your bag up opening the handle up and holding onto it.

You listen to bill sobs as he tries to bargen with you, to make you stay, his promises of how he wont be jealous and he'll do better, words that fell on deaf ears as you have already made up your mind, knowing even in your mind blurry with emotions that this would be the best for both Bill and You.

#tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel imagine

[tafeekafee]

⌛ATEEZ Headcanons - Dizzy/Feverish

🐿️ Hongjoong

Gets dizzy so fucking easily that it’s a surprise he hasn’t fainted more often

Dizzy spells from low blood sugar because he so often forgets to eat when in the studio

Fainted into EDEN’s arms before and ever since all of EDENary and Maddox keep sugary cereal bars on hand to fed to him

But from experience he knows how to keep himself from fainting if he notices soon enough - locks his knees, squats or sits down etc.

Gets super nauseous from fevers - sometimes he just gets really nauseous and pukes before anybody even realizes that he is running a high temp - mostly because they hold his hair back and when they touch his forehead they find it burning and be like ??? !!!

“Shit, I’m late for practice”, Hongjoong muttered, looking at his smartphone. He had been so deep into producing with Maddox and Eden that he had completely forgotten the time.

“Go, we’ll make do without you”, Eden said, rolling his eyes.

“Thanks”, Hongjoong replied and jumped up.

Only for the whole word starting to turn into a twisting kaleidoscope. He stumbled, vision going black.

“Joong-ah”, Maddox called and as Hongjoong opened his eyes again he found himself back in his chair, his mentor squatting down in front of him. Maddox looked worried, while EDEN had a rather unreadable expression on his face.

The oldest producer slid a cereal bar over to him and Maddox helped Hongjoong open the bar, as his fingers shook too much.

“You need to remember to eat, Hongjoong”, EDEN said, worry and displeasure fighting in his voice, “I’ll call Seonghwa to let him know you will not be going to practice. We’re having dinner now.”

Resigned Hongjoong nodded.

⭐ Seonghwa

Doesn’t really run fevers, so when he does he doesn’t notice

Like having a fever is so unexpected for him that he only believes it when Hongjoong shoves the thermometer in his face

After that he is done, once he knows he is sick it’s like his body gets the permission to fall apart

Has fainted from a fever once as he didn’t even realize how bad it was

Scared the shit out of Yeosang who had to catch him

Has a complex about being the oldest, so he doesn’t tell anybody if something is up

“Hyung?”, a loud voice called and somebody was tapping his cheek. Annoyed, Seonghwa groaned and tried to slap the hand away. Instead whoever it was caught his hand in their and held on tight.

Slowly Seonghwa blinked open his eyes to stare into the wide-eyed gaze of Jongho, who looked like he had a halo around his head. Another blink and Seonghwa realized that it was just the overhead lights that made the maknae shine. 

“Wha’ happ’n’?”, he slurred, his tongue uncooperative in his mouth. 

Jongho moved a bit away and Seonghwa was able to see that he was laying in the middle of the hallway, his members surrounding him. Hongjoong and Yunho were kneeling next to the maknae. Yeosang and Woyooung were cuddled up in San’s arms somewhere by Seonghwa’s feet. Mingi was nowhere to be seen.

“You fainted when you came out of the shower”, Hongjoong explained, his voice a bit shaky, “you are lucky Yeosang managed to catch you.”

🐶 Yunho

Gets dizzy when it’s hot and he’s dehydrated

Reluctantly tells one of the hyungs 

He really doesn’t want to but he knows if he faints he might injure himself and he wants to avoid that

Besides, he’s so tall, he knows they won’t be able to get him of the floor

Also he really doesn’t want Mingi to worry so he speaks up in time

Every single illness is accompanied by a fever - everybody else has a slight sniffle? Yunho has a fever - somebody is puking from a stomach bug? Yunho is too but he also has a fever

“Hyung?”, Yunho whispered, tapping Seonghwa’s shoulder. They had an M/V shoot in the middle of the hottest day of the year and it was … wow, everything was tilting.

“Yunho?”, Seonghwa asked, already alarmed after seeing the younger’s sweaty and pale face. A few patches of skin were red from the sun. “What’s wrong?”

“Dizzy”, Yunho mumbled, slumping forward, “everything’s spinning. Don’t wanna faint.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened and he called over their manager. Together they dragged the tallest member to some shade where the three maknaes were sitting. Immediately Yunho was fussed over by his best friend.

“Yunho, drink”, Mingi encouraged, “you’ve been dancing in the hot sun all day and you are so bad with heat. Knowing you, you didn’t even drink enough. Slow sips.”

With a sign, Yunho complied. 

👑 Yeosang

Has no idea how to say he isn’t feeling good, so he kinda doesn’t

Whenever he gets dizzy which often happens when he’s feverish he just stumbles into people because everything is spinning

That’s how they know

In a reverse to their normal roles he does get clingy towards Wooyoung

He has a fever? He just sleeps 

Honestly waking a feverish Yeosang is the hardest task Seonghwa had ever had to face and it nearly made him cry

“Sang-ah?”, Seonghwa whispered, shaking the younger’s shoulder. They had sent Yeosang to bed yesterday evening when he had stumbled into Mingi during recording and they noticed his high fever. Now he was due for some fever reducers and some food. 

But Yeosang showed no sign of waking up. No matter what Seonghwa tried. Ten minutes later the eldest gave up, shakily getting to his feet. Tears burned in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He didn’t need worried dongsaengs beside one very sick one.

As he stumbled out of the room, ready to ask Hongjoong to call an ambulance, he was stopped by Wooyoung in the living room. “Couldn’t wake him?”, the second maknae asked. Seonghwa shook his head, not even questioning how Wooyoung knew. His worry overshadowed everything else.

“Don’t worry, hyung. Sang-ah is just a really deep sleeper when sick. Nothing we can do but wait.”

Seonghwa was dragged back to the bedroom and handed the thermometer. 

“It’s only 38.2°C”, he said in astonishment. 

“Told you, deep sleeper”, Wooyoung replied and jumped into the bed, only to immediately get hugged by the still asleep Yeosang. He grinned.

⛰️ San

Tries to push through illnesses - at least that’s always his plan

He doesn’t hold out long though and tells Yunho who gets him lying down asap when dizzy

Fevers make him really really emotional and he keeps crying 

Misses his parents and grandparents a lot when sick and is constantly on the phone with them once his fever gets too high

Hongjoong had once had to stop his grandparents from coming all the way to Seoul because San called them with a very high fever and not making much sense

Wants cuddles from every member but especially his Seonghwa-hyung or his personal pillow aka Jeong Yunho

“Hyung, everything hurts”, San cried, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I know, San-ah”, Yunho replied helplessly, wiping at the tears. He had been woken by his younger roommate in the middle of the night. At first a sleepy Yunho had been worried why a simple nightmare had turned his dongsaeng into a blubbering mess but when he had felt the heat radiating off him, he had understood.

“Everything’s spinning”, San mumbled, “make it stop.”

“Come here”, Yunho whispered and wrapped San in his arms, carefully laying back so that the smaller was resting on his chest. “Sleep, I’ve got you.”

“I miss my family.”

“I know, baby, we’ll call them in the morning, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

🐣 Mingi

Gets scared when his body betrays him and immediately seeks out his Hongjoong-hyung

Basically becomes a baby which makes it hard for Hongjoong since Mingi is so much taller than him

Has never fainted before because people get him sitting or laying down as soon as he speaks up

Generally has a high body temperature so it takes some time for him to actually run a fever

“Hongjoong-hyung, I don’t feel good”, Mingi said.

Not sparing a second Hongjoong stopped his work, spinning around in his desk chair to muster the younger who had just entered his studio. The younger man was pale and his eyes were blown wide with … fear?

The captain jumped up to reach out to him, gently holding onto his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I … uh”, Mingi whispered, “I’m kinda feeling dizzy.” Shit. Okay.

“Let’s sit down okay?”, Hongjoong said and tightened his grip on the younger. Then pulled them over to the couch before anything could happen. Mingi was just too damn tall for Hongjoong to completely hold him up, especially if it was unexpected. Hongjoong gently helped the younger lay on his back, feet raised on the armrest. He gently stroked his hand through the messy, slick hair. 

“Hey, princess?”, the captain asked then, tapping Mingi’s cheeks. “Let’s rest for a moment and I’ll get you something to drink. Then Yunho and I will take you back to the dorm, okay?”

🦊 Wooyoung

Contrary to what people might think he doesn’t get whiny

He gets quiet which is much more scary

He is kinda scared people will judge him or wave him off because he normally is dramatic 

just hug him please

Just suddenly faints (well, only suddenly to everybody else) and got a concussion from that once

“Wooyoung?”, San asked, “what do you think about going home now? Wooyoung?”

San turned around and his heart nearly stopped. The younger was slumped against the mirror of the dance practice room, eyes closed and body so limp it was clear he wasn’t conscious.

“Oh God”, Hongjoong exclaimed and ran over to the younger, kneeling down by his side. 

San was frozen in shock. They had just decided to end practice early since Wooyoung had been off all day, quiet and closed off, which was so unnatural to their sunshine demon. Now the younger was unconscious with Hongjoong, Yunho, Yeosang and a manager kneeling by his side. Seonghwa appeared by San’s side, pulling him into his side in a protective embrace and together they walked a bit closer.

“Wha’?” San was sure he had never heard a more beautiful sound.

“Hey, baby”, Hongjoong whispered, stroking back Wooyoung’s hair as the younger’s eyes flickered open.

“How are you feeling?”, Yunho asked, a bit of guilt in his voice. It was his dance practice that had gone wrong after all. Hongjoong must have heard it too as he placed a hand on Yunho’s back.

“Tired, dizzy, my head hurts”, Wooyoung mumbled. Yeosang sneaked a hand to his forehead.

“No wonder, Young-ah, you’re burning up. Bed, now.”

🧸 Jongho

Doesn’t get sick often

But when he does, oh boy

All his reserves of wanting to be Maknae on Top crumble and he goes to any of his hyungs, but likely Hongjoong because he isn’t overwhelming and not as touchy as the others

Kind of wants hug but also doesn’t because he’s hot and sweaty and just bah

Dizziness is really disorientating to him, so he immediately speaks up because he cannot stay upright

Gets the worst chills

“Hey, Jongho-yah”, Hongjoong greeted from the doorway, finding the maknae curled up under a lot of blankets, “still not feeling any better?”

Jongho shook his head, shivering. He had really scared the group when he had sat down unexpectedly during recordings earlier that day, complaining of dizziness. One second he had been singing, the next he had been on the ground, clutching Mingi’s legs to keep himself upright.

They had crowded the maknae a bit, Hongjoong had had to admit but Jongho hadn’t even cared much. Instead he had asked the captain to take him home. Soft for his baby and worried when finding him burning up Hongjoong had done as asked, not even sparing a thought for the recordings. Maddox, who had been watching in worry, and Mingi had it under control.

“Hyung, can you lie down with me?”, Jongho asked timidly, “I am so cold.”

“Of course.” Hongjoong crawled under the blankets, hugging the younger to his chest. He could feel the chills wreck the whole bed and just how sweaty Jongho was. He didn’t care at all.

“I’m sorry”, the maknae whispered, burying his face in Hongjoong’s shoulder, “I’m disgusting.”

“Shush, you’re just sick”, the captain replied quietly, “it’s okay.”

#ateez #ateez sick #sick ateez #kpop #kpop sick #headcanon #ateez headcanons #sick ateez headcanons #request fill #request answer #emeto #⌛ #🧚🏻‍♀️ #sickfic #🐿️ #⭐ #🐶 #👑 #⛰️ #🐣 #🦊 #🧸

[drdemonprince]

Thank you for talking about the ills of isolation and withdrawing during a moment where we need collective action, whatever that may look like for each one of us.

I have been thinking a lot about how I want to belong to groups who are doing things I care about and what gets in the way of that goal. A huge difficulty I have as an autistic woman and a woc in a small town in a white majority country is that often even with people whose politics I broadly agree with, there is a lot of interpersonal unease and irritation to get through. This is probably sometimes as much my fault as theirs. But sometimes it's stuff like people openly rolling their eyes at my name (too foreign and hard apparently) or me finding some of the things they say awful (a queer rights group still being racist for example) or just finding people annoying to be around at times.

How do I show up in these spaces and create a community without burning out from annoyance/disappointment/the everyday alienation of it all? Surely moving to a big city cannot be a practical answer when it's not affordable? And surely there must be a way to be honest about my politics and stand up for myself and still be in halfway progressive spaces that are doing good work and are best options right now in terms of proximity and impact? My parents' answer (different generation, country, culture) was always keep your head down and stay out of difficult things like organizing. I am tired of living like that. But I also feel I am too angry and too unfit to deal with the everyday reality of what people are like to be able to part of movements. The alternative though is to having a panic attack while reading the news and sink into despair and helplessness which sucks. Am I missing an obvious way out here? As always, very grateful to you for your wisdom and clarity on living uncowered.

Thank you so much for your wonderful message and question. I am admittedly a little out of my depth in some ways in answering this, I feel, as a white person and a man who people don't tend to subject to the worst of the kind of treatment that you're speaking to. (What I do get is people thinking that expressing the prejudices will be acceptable to me, which I have the responsibility to shut down as often as humanly possible, so that spaces don't have a such a dogshit culture and alienate tons of people like you).

I think you do really have to look over your own bandwidth, and determine for you what is tolerable and what isn't. As a trans person, there are slightly "off" little comments that I'll accept from someone who isn't well versed in the topic, and differences in how elders talk and think about gender that I'll tolerate bemusedly, but if it ventures into any area that makes the space explicitly hostile to trans people who are more vulnerable than me, then it's something I need to fight about or I need to abandon the space.

For a woman of color like yourself, I think that kind of decision making is a lot more fraught, because frankly I never have to worry about anybody really escalating their bullshit with me too badly, and they'll want to forget it pretty quickly after the conflict even if I do challenge them.

(This propensity towards midwest nicey-ness / white person fake nicey-ness can sometimes be leveraged to win a battle or two -- when I have obviously, unquestionably shut down someone's ignorance or read them for filth diplomatically for making a really dumb point, often the other person's impulse is to backtrack and make nice or pretend that what they said never happened, while also never doing it again in my presence, and in plenty of situations, that's plenty good enough. I have seen this kind of maneuvering work for people of color too, especially in groups like churches, volunteer organizations, cultural affinity groups, and the like, where there is a strong bias towards everybody getting along...sometimes that awful cultural norm can be shifted to your advantage if you Make the Person Saying the Fucked Up Thing the Awkward One.)

I think a lot of what you'll have to do is discern between the groups where you can push back against the remarks and policies that are unacceptable to you but basically get along with well-enough intentioned people, and the groups where you will be singled out and treated poorly for speaking up or ever asserting yourself. It also really helps to befriend all the other people of color & neurodivergent people in the space early on into joining a group, so you have people to lean on and you can get their lay of the land.

I wish I had advice that was more targeted and immediately actionable, but I think a lot of this is a very subtle dance based on the community spaces you move within, your political goals, the people within the space, the norms within that space surrounding conflict, how many other poc are there, etc etc. You will probably have to try a couple of groups before you find one that is tolerable enough for you because a) the people arent That Fucked Up, and b) they can kind of handle conflict some of the time at least. Please don't be disheartened if things feel awkward or a few of your first tries have rancid vibes. You can also take steps to build the very community spaces that you want -- by reaching out to other people of color in the area and forming your own groups that can then partner with these kind of annoying white majority organizations. The autonomy is useful and may preserve some social and emotional spoons, but at the cost of having to do a lot of organizing work. So, tradeoffs.

Would love to hear in the comments from people of color who do organizing in non-urban areas and have to deal with a lot of white people nonsense.

[jinxedavenuethoughts]

Arcane Analysis : Jinx didn't actually change.

I was thinking about the moment where Vi tells Ekko she can save Powder and that made me realize this was a thing I struggled understanding while watching the show for the first time.

Because there is no one to be saved.

A lot of the show is about Jinx and others accepting her new self, her new personality.

And that's something I struggled to understand because Jinx actually didn't really change?

She just grew up.

She tried to fight as a child, and she grew up and trained, so she became better at fighting.

She used to try to build explosives as a child, she grew up, and succeeded because she kept trying.

She used to fight bad people, and she still does !

Like she literally threw a bomb at a child on ep1, it just didn't work. But she did throw an explosive at a child, because he was a villain in her head. She even did that again on ep3, and it did work this time, just a little too well-

She grew up with Silco telling her how bad Piltover is for Zaun, struggling with enforcers and firelights to sell shimmer. Of course enforcers and firelights became the bad people for her, and yes she kept fighting and throwing explosives at bad people. Without any empathy for them, yes, but she didn't as a child either (you could say she didn't show much empathy because she was a child, but you're still affected by violence even at 8, she just doesn't show empathy for ''bad people'').

Yes she did change her name, but it seems that it's more a way to distance herself from her past, she's not a whole new person, she just wants to distance herself from what hurts her the most, she tries to escape her past, that's it. Powder just reminds her of her childhood and so of that night, it reminds her of everybody she had and that she lost there, including her sister.

And if we're speaking of her hearing voices and dissociating, that's literally the consequences of her traumas. She's not a new person because of PTSD or any other mental illness she's suffering from.

I understand Vi's point of view now, who wants to bring back her little sister who wouldn't harm anybody, but she didn't harm anybody as a child just because she failed. There's actually nobody to bring back, no Powder to be saved, no kind girl to bring out of Jinx, she literally is the same person. She attacks just as much. She makes the same explosives, she still wants to fight, she just grew up, so now, her attacks work.

I of course also understand Jinx pov because nobody accepts her ''new her'' (but Silco), but actually nobody just accepts the fact that now her plans work ?

They all see Powder as a harmless, kind but smart girl who loves playing and laughing with her friends. But she is still kind to the people that are kind to her mind (Silco, ''Chuck'' for example), she still loves to play (see the moments where she plays with Silco eye thing in EP 4, even the paint bomb at ''Chuck'' is a joke to her), she laugh less, because she lost everything, has deep traumas and actually she just doesn't have any reason to smile or laugh, but she still loves creating things (mostly explosives actually) exactly as she did as a child, the explosive she made back then didn't work, so that made her harmless. That's it.

Just wanted to write this because I feel like lot of people see Jinx and Powder as whole different persons, and even if that's what Jinx would have liked, I really think they aren't and feel like we often forgets that she does the exact same things Powder used to do, she just became better at it.

#arcane #arcane theory #jinx #arcane jinx #silco #vi #arcane vi #arcane violet #arcane league of legends #arcane analysis #caitvi #arcane fanart #arcane silco #art #quote #lol #league of legends

[pumpkzsafeplace]

anon answers (autistic diaries) : so you think you're autistic? heres what's to do next.

sometimes it can be scary and invalidating knowing you have something but nobody believes you :<, it took my family three years until they acceted i had social anxiety, then a couple more to accept that i had depression- and then a while for the other illnesses <3.

so believe me, i know what you're going through!

❀•°❀°•❀ know that how you feel is validated 🌨️

like i mentioned earlier, sometimes we know there is something wrong before anybody else does. you may not know exactly what it is- but you can tell that you're a bit different to everybody else & that's okay.

there is nothing wrong with being different, especially due to something that you can't control.

❀•°❀°•❀ do research ❄️

take some time to research and clarify your symptoms. autism can be tricky, especially if you're like me and can mask incredibly well. but try to be as honest as possible and see if it matches the critera.

❀•°❀°•❀ get some equiptment to help 🌨️

if you're having meltdowns but don't have a diagonsis- don't be ashamed to buy a pair of noise chancelling headphones or a handful of fidgit toys. i was scared to purchase anything until i got my official diagnosis and ended up havign so many meltdowns in public due to overstimulation.

put yourself first love & take care of yourself.

❀•°❀°•❀ talk about it with somebody ❄️

talk about what you're feeling to somebody. sometimes having somebody who is neutral to what's going on can help clear up some overthinking on your part. talk about how you're feeling with someone who is autistic & see if they can share or help in anyway!

❀•°❀°•❀ do your best to get an appointment 🌨️

one of the hardest things you'll probably have to do is book an appointment with a doctor. i know- it can be daunting and i also know how scary it can be too. but you deserve to know the truth of the situation and you deserve to get all the help & support you deserve.

the process & fight for it will be long and it can feel like its hopeless. it took me around 8/9 until i finally found out what was wrong with me & yeah, the jourey felt hopless- but you're not going through this alone.

you have all of us who believe & validate how you feel <3

/9zxsop0r8ju7WQ1fdhg <- luna's words of support as she jumped on my keyboard as i was writing, pft hehehe

#agere community #sfw agere #safe agere #sfw little community #agere blog #sfw age regression #age regression #sfw little blog #agere little #sfw little post #sfw blog #sfw little stuff #sfw furry #sfw littlespace #sfw interaction only #agere #age regressor #agere post #agere lifestyle #agere caregiver #agere sfw #sfw babyspace #age regression caregiver #sfw caregiver #caregiverlife #autistic adult #actually autistic #autism #autistic things

[shortpplfedup]

Of course I have fallen down an ITSAY/IPYTM rewatch rabbit hole the moment I have things to do. Instead of spamming @bengiyo lemme liveblog...

On Viki the new subs are chef's kiss. Grammar, tone, readability, idiom usage, much improved. I also FINALLY know what MoRaoYuLok means!

Man the fight they have at the temple after this middle school play is the EXACT same fight they have in the bathtub in IPYTM. Like the dialogue is almost word for word. I love that the same fight bookends the beginning and end of the acting dream for Oh Aew. HOW IS THIS SHOW STILL GIVING ME NEW TEAS YEARS LATER?

'I think someone like you will quit eventually' - cut to him quitting in IPYTM and them having this exact same fight. And people say Teh changed...HE NEVER DID.

If I could ask Boss one question I would ask him when Teh's dad died. Like...it haunts me. I feel like so much of Teh is explained by his dad's death. Like, does he die before or after the middle school play? Was it illness or incident? It's the last key to completely unlocking the character and I WANT IT.

I have so much more of an ear for Thai now than I did when I first watched this, and the difference in that plus the difference in the subs is making this a whole new experience.

I also now know what 'Saleng' means thanks to the subs. MLC's Leng's parents really named him after a sidecar motorcycle? Jail.

Man now that I know a smattering of Thai, Teh and Tarn were really basically dating. Like she had expectations, he'd made promises. He really just abandoned her to run after this boy he swore up and down he hated.

I always forget Oh Aew had 90 thousand Instagram followers. And he wasn't even showing feet. You know his DMs were wet. Oh Aew's influencer status needed to be explored more.

They actually translated some of these thirsty Instagram comments 🤣 'I want to be the red bean up there' referring to the red beans topping the oh aew dessert. HORNY JAIL FOR OH AEW'S INSTA FOLLOWERS.

Teh literally got under the covers and stared at this man's picture for WHO KNOWS HOW LONG.

WHY DID I START THIS?!

Hoon really treats Teh like an annoying little brother.

Teh and this pomade 🤣 THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE AND ELABORATE.

This teacher really decided to roast Teh in front of everybody🤣

Teh really sitting here at this cafe dragging down the mood with his heavy vibes.

Man I forgot how petty Oh Aew could be 🤣 'Oh Bas you're so smart, so much smarter than dumbass Teh *bats eyelashes*

The friends really went through it with these two. You know how hard it is to maintain a friend group that includes two people who are in love/have beef? Yes I put those two things together. Kai n'em fighting for their lives this whole show.

Not Bas the New Friend putting his foot right in his mouth talking reckless about this Chinese play and the whole group bracing for impact. Nobody warned him these two are in love/have beef?

Oh Aew embarrassed as shit now, plan totally rumbled, not that Teh's dumbass even understood why he wanted to do a CHINESE PLAY WITH PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT SCHOOLS.

'Didn't anybody tell you?' WHY Y'ALL AIN'T TOLD HIM INSTEAD OF LETTING HIM GO POPPING OFF AT THE MOUTH?

Man I had forgotten how subtle yet totally clear the acting in this was from jump. Billkin and PP's eyes, their face journeys, the small microexpressions, the body English...you know exactly what they're thinking at all times.

Teh: 'Oh? A Chinese play?' Mod n'em's facial expressions: 'Oh shit here we fucking go.' Bas's face: 'What just happened? Why'd the temperature drop 20 degrees?'

Oh Aew said leap if you're feeling froggy and they were really about to scrap over a 3-year old petty beef. Who says men aren't emotional?

Teh was out of order making fun of Oh Aew's grades and he knew it immediately too. Forever popping off at the mouth and instantly regretting it, from the beginning.

Bas looks so distressed that he caused this whole altercation. I'd actually really love to know Bas's perspective on this story, because from where he's sitting the whole thing is WILD.

It's really striking me on this rewatch how protective the friends are of Oh Aew, not just Bas but Phillip n'em as well. He always engenders such loyalty, whereas Teh is harder to love hence why he doesn't have other friends except their mutuals.

Oh Aew called Teh an asshole with his whole chest, love that for him. Teh was absolutely being an asshole.

Kai really like 'how y'all still beefing off some middle school shit and we about to be in COLLEGE? Let it go!' And you really get the feeling Oh Aew really did want to try to squash it until Teh came at him all RAH.

I never really got a sense of the dynamic between Oh Aew and his parents. It's clearly loving and supportive, but it doesn't seem terribly affectionate and it's maybe a little distant? Idk how much of my reading of it is due to it not really being foregrounded as compared to Teh's familial dynamic. But Teh is main character and Oh Aew is the love interest so Teh does get a deeper dive.

You forget all the time that Teh is totally the spoiled baby brat of his family.

In this scene where they're waiting for the admission results, you can see Oh Aew's stress level shoot up in real time when he realises Teh has entered the room. Teh has put in his head that he's not gonna make it, and he doesn't want Teh to see him fail (and probably gloat about it he's thinking). And then Teh FOLLOWS him...no wonder he runs away like Teh's the devil. Teh's literally number 1 on the admissions list and Oh Aew didn't make it. And he thinks there's no way he can make it through the admissions system so the dream's dead. With the hindsight of realising that everything Oh Aew did since their fight was a combination of wanting to prove to Teh he was wrong about him plus hoping that they could repair their broken relationship and be close again...ARGH this show will forever put me in my feels.

Oh Aew always looks so small sitting on that beach alone in this scene. It's been said a million times, but the filmmaking in this show absolutely slaps. That tracking shot following Oh Aew getting his bags from Teh and then walking away as Teh follows? So good...

You really feel the weight of Teh's apology here, how he first apologises for the immediate offence and then realises no, that's not all he feels guilty about. The apology is such an unburdening for him and you can feel the weight lift off him when Oh Aew accepts it. Also, Oh Aew's surprise and immediate surge of emotion at each stage of Teh's apology...ugh these boys acted DOWN, so detailed, so effective!

This show is built around Teh and Oh's conversations, they're so important to me for how raw and vulnerable they always are. Part of the reason things fall apart for them in I Promised You the Moon is that they stop talking to each other like this, because they're trying to be brave, or to be grown up, or to be considerate, or to hide how not fine they are.

For Oh Aew to say 'I forgive you but bitch I DESPISED you, I don't know if we can ever come back from that' was such a moment. Teh being forced to sit with the possibility that what he broke with his pride and selfishness might not ever be fixable, and deciding to try ANYWAY...see this is why despite him being the worst he's also the best.

No but Teh really went from calling that sidecar 'hideous' and 'embarrassing' to taking it everywhere because it could carry Oh Aew, and all the things he wanted to give Oh Aew. But this fool really packed up every school book he owned in a suitcase he stole from his brother and left his house at the crack of dawn to give them to Oh Aew. Down HORRENDOUS.

Oh Aew's smile before he answers Teh's ke yi ma always gets me.

Guess I'm back on my ITSAY/IPYTM bullshit

#i told sunset about you #itsay #itsay 1 #live rewatch #liveblog #translate my love with your heart

[batsplat]

Loving all the casey takes, I missed reading about him.

tyvm! here's another underrated casey moment for your troubles (heavily featuring valentino and jorge):

casey's 'mystery illness' struck in catalunya 2009, leaving him feeling incredibly tired after the warm-up and he slept for two hours right before the race. while the conditions were tough for everyone in what was a very hot and humid weekend, nobody was affected as badly as casey was and he was hit by sudden and serious fatigue about five laps into the race. he managed to finish - but after initially scrapping with vale and jorge, the two of them cleared off in the front, leaving casey to ride in a lonely third place. in the late stages of the race, he was coming under considerable pressure from dovi, but somehow managed to find something extra and limped home to third. it was immediately clear he was struggling in parc fermé, doubled over and barely staying upright as he went over to his team, and was eventually provided with a chair before the podium celebrations. on the podium, he looked like he was on the verge of collapsing throughout, managing to spray champagne but staying rooted to the spot. he also made it to the press conference and after moderator nick harris was finished with his questions for casey, he thanked casey for coming (leading to the room, including rossi and lorenzo, applauding him)

after this race, casey would continue to struggle on with his season, with doctors unable to explain his condition and ducati treating their sole world champion increasingly poorly. eventually he made the decision to put his season on hold to try to figure out and fix what was wrong with him, and he ended up missing three races. but of course, this is not what catalunya 2009 is primarily remembered for. it was the race that featured probably the finest rossi/lorenzo battle (and one of several classic vale fights at catalunya, cf 2004, 2007, 2016) - and was also the turning point of that title fight, shifting the momentum fairly decisively in valentino's favour. going into the race, the sixth round of the season, stoner was leading the championship, with lorenzo in second place and rossi in third. both casey and jorge had already won two races, with valentino on a miserable singular win. catalunya followed vale's comedy of errors at le mans (trust me, it's bad) as well as the race that finally snapped vale's seven race win streak at his beloved home grand prix at mugello. his biggest rival stoner had won that race and to make things even worse, valentino's dangerous young teammate had comfortably taken second place in a wet race that vale approached cautiously after the le mans fiasco, beating vale at home and leaving him to salvage a mere third (still better than le mans is all I'll say). the italian press were on his back, they were calling him washed, they said he was finished, he was fighting the fraud allegations (he was down by nine points in the championship standings)... and then motogp came to jorge's home. in contrast to his brash approach in 2008, lorenzo had spent the early season playing down that he was even IN the championship fight, but nobody was fooled. everybody knew how badly both vale and jorge wanted this

if anybody reading this hasn't watched the race, go watch it (available on youtube dot com) - it slaps. it's a close, tense fight between jorge and vale that lasts the whole race, both of them leading at times but unable to make a break for it, a stretch where valentino probably deliberately let lorenzo pass to try and mess with him from behind, plenty of exciting overtakes, an engaging tactical battle with both guys desperate to win and to assert themselves both in the title fight as well as within yamaha: basically all the greatest hits. and of course it ends with valentino's classic last corner overtake that encapsulates his burning desire to win as well as anything else does, executed at what is not a traditional overtaking spot on that track (though recently also pulled off by toprak in wsbk, if you haven't watched the clip do it right now) - and remains one of valentino's most famous career overtakes. vale goes nuts with his celebrations, ecstatic fist pumping while on the bike, ILLEGALY breaking out of parc fermé to receive the adulation of jorge's home crowd (jorge then of course has to do the same thing once vale's gone back in, great stuff), his team's going crazy like they've won the title - and he points at the number 99 on lorenzo's bike, the first year jorge's riding with that number, because it also just happens to be valentino's 99th career win

so basically they're busy having their intra-team pissing contest, though at this stage they're both still outwardly pretty warm with one another. all this serious turf war business means both of them are mostly ignoring casey looking like he's two seconds away from keeling over dead about one and a half metres away. valentino interrupts jorge's tv interview to shake his hand and congratulate him for the great race, presumably so that if lorenzo reacts badly there'll be a camera and microphone to pick it up (he pulls the exact same trick with stoner at laguna seca in 2008, leading to the "that's racing, casey" line) - and jorge goes 'bring on the next race'. in the dorna-produced documentary about his 2010 title, him and his team make it clear they were extremely miffed by vale's pointed celebrations, but here he's still working incredibly hard to fend off any sore loser allegations and does a good job of it too. after this race, all three title contenders are tied at 106 points, so everybody's very excited and it's looking like we're setting up a season-long thriller of a title fight (which in the end failed to quite materialise, though 'twas still a good one). the whole motogp world is buzzing, lauding valentino and jorge for their amazing performances and immediately memorialising vale's final overtake as one of the finest anyone had ever seen

anyway, let's get casey stoner's take.

and here was his reasoning:

which, to me, is really what casey is all about. some might say it's not the most tactful thing to say about one of lorenzo's career best races, some might question the wisdom of diminishing the skill involved in rossi's overtake while everybody else is falling over themselves to celebrate this race as one of the greatest in recent memory, some might even say stoner was somewhat misreading the mood of the moment. but casey took a break from half-dying and managed to take a swipe at both of his rivals, saying jorge had made a 'silly mistake' and that valentino's pass, which vale had been visualising in his head for a week just in case he needed it and was clearly immensely pleased with, was 'easy'. casey looked at one of the most famous last laps of all time and went: wow. skill issue. we salute a real one

#casey stoner #valentino rossi #jorge lorenzo #some might watch jerez 2013 and say jorge didn't learn to not leave a gap at the final corner but I couldn't possibly comment on that #according to the commentators jorge had said before the weekend that if you lead going into the final two corners you've won the race #which is obviously the kind of thing you should NEVER say #top three cuntiest vale celebrations btw. for me personally it's number two #// #cs27 #jl99 #vr46

[etherealsign282]

People can have a good life and still be depressed, suffering from trauma/mental illnesses, etc

You don't get to determine that you're more mentally ill or more broken than someone who has bounced back from all the hell they've been through, just because you refuse to keep yourself afloat for some self-prophesized martyrdom

I don't think "Everyone reacts to mental illness differently" was ever an excuse for being a bully or terrible person, because being an abuser has nothing to do with being mentally ill. But it is a tool to help people UNDERSTAND why some may stand with a broken leg, and others fall apart over a sprained ankle, and with everything else in between.

And we should be holding space for both, but not by letting them walk all over everybody else and direct the mental health community like they know best. Or by making it seem that some can play the victim more out of anybody when they screw up, because realistically they have refused every opportunity given to them to heal, because being mentally broken is comforting for them, vs other people finding comfort in growth. The comfort to pretty much be a dick is a reason, not an excuse. As in, it explains the behavior, but it doesn't mean you can bypass consequences or accountability due to it. You're still pretty much a dick.

I'm going to sympathize with the fact that you can't seem to get your life on track, I sympathize with the fact that you can't seem to figure out how to cope and heal, I sympathize that you'd rather shroud yourself in misery, but I'm also not going to let you tell me that I only made it this far because i must not be as broken as you, because everyone reacts differently. (And again, reacting differently doesn't excuse shitty behavior, nor does it excuse you to dismiss someone else's mental illnesses).

I made it because I made myself strong, despite my trauma. I didn't have the opportunity or the golden ticket to wake up and just one day do everything I needed to do. I pushed myself, with a lot of tears, panic attacks, thoughts of giving up, to put it short. And if you think I wasn't suffering when I had to do what I had to do, to not be a sludgy ball of self deprecating, self victimized goop, you haven't even begun trying to take the first steps.

And you know what, that's your prerogative. Because everyone copes or reacts differently. But not being able to do it is not because "the mental illness is so much more powerful than everybody else's so pity me and don't feel good about yourself".

Idk how y'all can look people in the eyes and say that when you don't know what they've been through, or how severe their struggles are. Some people be fighting demons and it's "my parents divorced when I was 10 and I was never forgiven for cheating on my girlfriend" and letting it destroy their entire world, then comparing it to abuse, trafficking, kidnapping, assault, homelessness, schizophrenia, BPD, NPD, anxiety, PTSD, literally anything and everything without knowing, and claiming that that person isn't as fxcked in the head because they managed to move past it.

Again it's your prerogative to react how you want to react, everyone reacts differently.

(Again doesn't excuse it if its abusive, but). But like, a lot of y'all wanna take the credit for when you do something great despite the mental illnesses, bc it's you and your accomplishments, but can't take the responsibility when you cripple yourself, and would rather discredit everybody else as just not being mentally ill enough to validate yourself when you react poorly. It's kinda gross, the double standard. Not everything negative = mental illness while everything positive = you (sometimes y'all got people doing everything for you). Why does that just sound like a rehashed form of Christians blaming everything bad on satan, and praising God for everything good, no matter what? It's all just been rehashed forms of lacking accountability or lacking awareness since the beginning.

#toxic #mental abuse #mental health #mental illness #abuse survivor #mental health community

[twicedailyquotes]

Virginia Woolf’s Suicide Note to Her Husband

TW: Suicide, Suicide note, mental illness, auditory hallucination

Dearest,

I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.

#quote #virginia woolf #tw suicide #suicide #suicide note #quotes

[alternis]

Whoops, sorry, sad under the cut

I think the thing about being chronically ill/disabled a lot of people can't imagine is how like. embarrassing amd alienating it is. and how difficult keeping any kind of long term friendships/relationships alive becomes

every time anybody asks you what you do or how you're doing or tries to catch up with you the answer is "i don't have a degree, I don't have a job, literally nothing has changed for me in years, there still isn't a treatment to reduce the symptoms I suffer from, I shower maybe once a week and I'm completely unemployable bc most days I can barely get out of bed" like. what I supposed to say. how am I supposed to spin this so people don't get uncomfortable.

every other person has some kind of forward trajectory to their life and you are just. stuck. standing in place. there is only so much "Well maybe this new medication will make things better" or "maybe I'll finally find Something I can do jn terms of education/employment" you can trot out before it feels like lying. there's only so many times people can encourage you and tell you to keep fighting before that just feels. like. cruel!

like I'm trying really hard not to get ground down by this but I have lost all of my friendships and i get no support from any family member that doesn't literally live in the same house as me because Im the only one of my cousins not to get a degree, the only one who doesn't have a job, the only one who didn't 'overcome' their health issues, so everybody just seems to have given up on me. I'm very, very tired.