#if this helps you

[thecowboykatsuki-anon]

Dead of Winter

Word Count: 1,070

Description: a vent piece, simple as that.

TW/CW: *please take the extra second to read this, I never want to trigger anyone* drug use (weed, cocaine); dub-con (it’s mentioned that Dabi and reader sleep together while under the influence, but there’s no details); mentions of physical abuse, emotional abandonment, parental struggles, self hate; mentioned that reader and Dabi have a toxic on/off relationship

A/N: If this helps you, feel free to reblog it. If you hate it, please don’t come at me over it in my ask box. I didn’t write this for entertainment purposes. I wrote it for me. That being said, if you have questions about what I've written, or just need someone to lean on, please reach out. I know the holidays can be rough.

As always, MDNI

“Don’t fucking touch me, I got it.”

Your words are sharp as they fall off your lips, normally so sweet, normally so careful with the way you speak, weighing each word carefully before you release them.

Dabi’s hand falls from the space between you, never quite reaching you but close enough that the air between you grows heavy with tension following your warning.

There’s no sounds in the cold winter air except for the frantic clicking of a lighter and your cursing under your breath as it consistently fails to light the blunt perched between your teeth.

The air is cold, even for him, and he knows you have to be freezing in your tshirt, snow coating the mountain landscape before you.

Any other time, he’d snap back at you over your tone, tell you to watch your fucking mouth and stop being a brat, but not this time.

He knows you’re hurting. He knows you’re not angry with him, but you are angry with the world itself and he knows that rage all too well. Knows how it burns down everything that stands in its path with its intensity.

Winter is always hard for you. It’s gotten harder every year, and he thought for sure that last year he was gonna lose you.

You’d cut him out, which wouldn’t have worried him so much if you hadn’t cut out everyone else too. He was used to the back and forth between you, had faith that you’d come back to him eventually.

But he hadn’t expected you to fade so fast. He hadn’t expected to see you so empty. Spending sleepless nights lost in alcohol, and when that stopped working, trying drugs you swore you’d never touch, never even consider.

He remembers those moments too well, remembers watching you become increasingly wired from across the room, at a party he never thought you’d enjoy. He remembers the way you’d tug frantically at his clothes when you’d notice him, begging sweetly against his mouth for him to lay you down, remembers the way you’d cut him out again the next day.

If he was honest, he’d admit both of you were too far gone to have stayed away from one another in the first place. Swapping bitter kisses in an empty hallway, the taste of white powder from your gums lingering on his tongue long after you were gone.

He knows you hate yourself for that. Knows that because of it, you look in the mirror and see the person you swore you would never become prominent in your features, a genetic curse in more ways than one.

He feels the same way whenever he sees Endeavor’s eyes glaring back at him in the mirror.

He knows you’re haunted by more than just what you see though, he’s watched you flinch when someone has moved a hand too quickly towards you, watched you take in everything in the room like your life depends on it, watched you catalogue every reaction, every tone thrown in your direction, ready to bare your teeth and fight at a moments notice. There are still some things you won’t speak to him about, things that have cut you deeper than he can imagine, things that have steadily hunted and consumed any peace you manage to find.

It had taken everything in you to pick yourself up after last year, and he’d stood by and waited patiently for that fire to spark in you again, there to prop you up when you needed him until you found your footing again.

But winters are hard. They’re filled with familial expectations, traditions you’ve never been allowed to partake in, absences you can ignore until you can’t, and you pretend like it’s fine, laugh it off like you’ve never been hurt. But he knows it weighs heavy on you. He sees it.

It’s why you’re desperately trying to get high in the middle of a December night in a tshirt of all things, hands trembling. You’re not sleeping nowadays, and while he’s not exactly the picture of stability and health himself, he knows its not good for you to spend so many days awake without sleep.

He’s broken out of his thought by your strangled shout, arm flying back to launch your lighter into the darkness, the snow cushioning its fall and maintaining the silence.

Your shoulders rise and fall heavily, fists clenched at your sides and he doesn’t need to see your face to know there’s a desperate look in your eyes as you fight back tears, fight back the urge to go find something stronger than weed to dull everything, the memory of being so numb heavier on your mind the longer that winter drags on.

He doesn’t say anything still. He knows it wouldn’t help. He knows you’d just feel pitied and ashamed, no matter how many times you’ve pulled him out of this same darkness, refusing to let anyone help you despite the fact that all you ever do is help everyone else.

He’d laugh if it wasn't so sad.

All you’ll allow him to do for now is share in the silence, allow him to lend you his company, and he’d like to think it helps. Keeps you from wandering too far from yourself.

This time, when he reaches for you again, you let him. Let him gently take the blunt and use his quirk to light it, inhaling deeply before he passes it back to you. He can’t help but notice the way your hands shake (more than usual) as you hold it, and he makes a mental note to pay attention to if you’re eating enough.

He still says nothing as he shrugs off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders and crowding your back for extra measure, arms warm as they wind tightly around your waist, his cheek resting on your head.

“Thanks.”

He’s never heard anyone sound so tired when you speak, like you’d shatter with just a single touch, but he holds you tight anyways, let’s his warmth seep through the clothing separating the two of you.

He hopes for just a moment, he’ll be able to make you feel his love. Make you feel that you’re not alone, no matter how badly you try to minimize damage by being so.

And silently, while the smoke from your mouth clouds his view of the stars above you both, he prays that winter ends soon.

#i'm not tagging this as a dabi piece because idk if it really counts as that but you're welcome to #i have a lot of resources im all good i promise #i just needed to get some feelings out #and this is my most productive way #even if it is a little cringe #vent piece #t's selfships #self ship #if this helps you #feel free to reblog it #if it doesn't and you hate it im sorry to hear that but please don't come complain in my inbox #this isn't FOR anyone but myself if that makes sense? #sending everyone a lot of love in the upcoming months #i know the holidays are hard #believe me i know #tw: drug use #tw: dubcon #tw: abuse

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

#I was forced to get over my hatred of making phone calls bc of this #one 15 minute phone call is the equivalent of 5 back and forth emails #also if you don't know exactly what you need help with you can just ask and you can get real help #instead of just desperately clawing at faqs on websites #it's infuriating that it works so well #ramblings

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

#greek mythology #ares #athena #greek gods #dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise #on some level at least #man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11 #thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful #romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it #also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now #my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming #i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one #kochei doodles

[sunbentshadows]

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

#information death of the internet etc #legit this has been SO SO helpful #shout out to mastodon infosec server for this one #before 2022 we did not really have the AI-content-farms because. the tech did not exist to the public. #and you can knock back the date if need be #obviously this does not FIX the problem but #me.txt

[apollos-boyfriend]

mspec gays are so cool i love you bilesbians and pangays and everything in between each and every one of you deserve the world mwuah

#icarus speaks #containment breach #help how do you add gifs to text

[hualianisms]

verified ways to send aid to gaza directly

Help a Palestinian family directly:

gazafunds.com - Donate directly to a Palestinian family in urgent need of evacuation, medical attention, food, rebuilding homes/businesses etc. (Spotlights 1 verified gfm at a time so if you don't know who/where to donate to just go here and donate to the one they show you!)

Help provide tents (urgent):

@helpgazachildren: Currently helping Palestinians in a refugee camp in Rafah flee the Rafah invasion to Khan Younis. Funds will cover the cost of tents & transport fuel (emergency, Rafah is being burned as we speak) (gfm)

The Sameer Project: Currently providing tents for displaced families in Gaza (emergency bc tents in Rafah are being burned as we speak) (paypal) (gfm)

Food, cash & essentials:

Care for Gaza: Working on the ground in Gaza to distribute food, cash, medicine & other essentials to displaced families. (paypal) (gfm)

Direct Aid for Gaza: also working on the ground in Gaza to distribute food, cash & other daily essential suppliess to displaced families. (paypal) (gfm)

Water:

Gaza Municipality's water project: The official Municipality of Gaza needs help rebuilding the water infrastructure in Gaza City to restore access to clean water and waste management services for the people of Gaza. (This campaign only has a few weeks left but it's still only at 15%!)

eSIMs (urgent):

guide to buy & send esims to gaza

Crips for eSims for Gaza: If you don't know how to buy esims or don't have the capacity to manage them (e.g. topping up regularly), this team of volunteers are collecting funds to buy & manage gaza esims regularly

Medical Aid

Palestine Red Crescent Society: Provides emergency medical and ambulance services and humanitarian relief on the ground in Gaza e.g. rescuing and treating the wounded.

#btw even $1 can help! small amts add up! if u cant donate just share & consider organizing/helping with a fundraiser #theres more but these are just some reliable ones i found #i also wanted to focus on the ones that are actually reaching palestinians on the ground ideally w a presence on the ground in gaza #if anyone knows more that are reliable & will actually reach ppl in gaza on the ground (intl orgs not ideal) feel free to add on #from what i heard; rn donating directly to palestinian families' gfms is the most reliable direct way to help #and then donating to charities on the ground eg careforgaza or esims that will reach ppl in gaza directly #those are better than big international orgs whose aid will be stopped at the border #if u can't decide just go to gazafunds.com and donate to the 1 gfm they show you #palestine aid

[lettuccine]

i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this

inspired by this

based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter

#help i cant stop unintentionally butchifying falin #im not sorry but #i just want you guys to know that it's unintentional #or is it??? #wet hair makes her look more masc okay i cant help it #farcille #falin touden #marcille donato #dungeon meshi

[4ft10tvlandfangirl]

About Gaza Funds

#gaza #gaza funds #gaza donations #donations #go fund me #gofundme #signal boost #important #ways to help #donate if you can #please share #help gaza #free gaza #rafah #save rafah #palestine #free palestine #mutual aid #crowdfunding #palestinian resources #donations for palestine #donations for gaza #go fund them #free palestine 🇵🇸

[crplpunkklavier]

a gentle fact about this world is that people will want to help you. a cruel fact about it is that you do have to put on your big boy pants and open their contact on your phone and say some human words to ask them for it

#but they WILL help you though

[gert-the-disaster]

does anyone understand my curse

#gert moment #art #please please help #happens every time #meme #how do you tag things uughh

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

#ra speaks #it’s a silly joke/pun dw #we stay silly :3 #edit: #woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/ #10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water. #15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :] #20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then #25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today #30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3 #40k. I just slept 9 hours straight for the first time in weeks :] remember to ask for help when you need it! no glory in senseless suffering

[werewolf-transgenderism]

keep seeing undergrads on social media saying “oh if a prof has a strict no-AI academic integrity policy that’s a red flag for me because that means they don’t know how to design assignments” like sorry girl but that just sounds like you’ve got a case of sour grapes about not being allowed to cheat with the plagiarism machine that doesn’t know how to evaluate sources and kills the environment! I have a strict no-AI policy because if you use AI to write your essays for a writing course it’s literally plagiarism because you didn’t write it and you’re not learning any of the things the course teaches if you just plug a prompt into the plagiarism generator that kills the environment, hope this helps!

#so many people on the internet like ‘why do I have to write my work myself why can’t I just plug it into the cheating machine’ #‘why is it plagiarism to not write my own work and instead use the plagiarism machine built from scraping others’ work without consent?’ #like. it is because you are not learning anything if you do not actually do the work assigned to you. hope this helps #I personally have not had AI issues because of how I structure my assignments #but it was a HUGE problem in my department last year. so we all have no-AI to write your classwork policies

[hansoeii]

look at you, you're gorgeous!

#and nothing bad ever happened #this might've been what aziraphale imagined when he asked crowley to come with him #I have returned to tend to your wounds good omens fandom #hope this helps you heal #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens fanart #good omens 2 fanart #aziracrow fanart #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands fanart #neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen #aziraphale #crowley #my art #digital art #fanart

[spr0utsies]

#hehe #seal meme #love this animal meme #seal #EDIT: OH FUCK THIS HAS OVER 1K NOTES. thats wild #2k #3k #that one clip of patrick looking under his house yelling WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE #sprout speaks #4k #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #35k #40k #45k #ok what big blog reblogged this. please god help me #50k

[bruhstation]

you’re just like the rest of them

#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #ttte gordon #ttte henry #’s skeleton #3x4 #casa tidmouth #senjart #kind of a follow up piece to the one before this #tfw you have complicated feelings towards your estranged old friend and him d*ing and coming back to life is NOT helping 😂😂😂 #I dunno where I was going with this honestly… pure experimental #this casa tidmouth stuff is crazy. what kind of ttte have y’all been watching 😂😂😂

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

#rambling #and idk but like if this incentivises you to do some stretches too then that's great! remember to be kind to yourself #but im mostly directing this at myself because i was thinkng about these things while doing a 15 min stretch routine and i feel silly #but silly is okay as long as i keep going #edit: haha wow this post blew up. im gonna tag it with a few things to maybe help me find it later if necessary #sisyphus #body maintenance #popular post