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keow · 3 years

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What advice would you give to someone who grew up in an atheist household but feels a vague connection to God? My family wasn't for or against any religion so I grew up indifferent but also comforted by religious memorabilia, going in churches, etc. I know that sounds wishy-washy but I'd like to explore it more but I don't know where to start and what to read to learn more, to decide what I think.

There are probably better blogs you could ask about this than mine, but I'll try my best. I’m going to answer this under the cut because it got really lengthy hehe. Also sorry this took so long to answer, I've been pretty busy!

So firstly it seems like we had really similar experiences growing up. My mom was “spiritual” and agnostic, raising me without exposure to really any religion (besides maybe Buddhism and a little bit of nondenominational Christianity—she shopped around a bit). I think this sort of background is becoming more and more common in society, so you aren’t alone.

Because of this non-religious childhood I can also tell you firsthand that there are a lot of bad things out there. For basically the entirety of my adolescence I was involved in witchcraft, paganism, and “new age” spirituality. I’m just going to tell you straight up that this is bad news. Please don’t fall for any of their bullshit. I literally worshipped and communicated with demons for years and it turned me into a horrible, evil person. Don’t fall for the “law of attraction” bullshit either, no matter how seductive it seems.

With that out of the way…

I am still in the process of converting so I can’t give you the perspective of someone who has completed that process, but I can tell you what has helped me figure out a lot of things religion-wise.

Firstly, the most important thing is to ask questions. If you do not ask questions, you cannot learn. If you do not learn, you will never know truth. So ask questions.

You say you feel drawn to churches, so I’m going to operate on the assumption that you want to know more about Christianity. If this isn’t the case then… well… ummmm well I ummummumummm Uh.

You’ve probably heard “Jesus died for your sins” before, but it’s very easy to just gloss over that because the idea is kind of pushed around our society without anyone really explaining it. Like I had no clue what that meant or how it worked before I started asking these questions.

“What are the doctrinal differences between these two religions? What about between these two branches of the same religion?” “Why is this biblical event important?” “How does the Trinity work?” “How do we know Jesus is the Messiah?” Et cetera. Any question you can think of, find out the answer to it. Catholic Answers is a pretty good place to start!

Secondly, as you’re in this “research” phase, I highly suggest immersing yourself in media that deals with religion as a whole. I listened to a lot of catholic podcasts and watched a lot of YouTube videos that explained some very important theological concepts that I didn’t quite understand. It’s not a proper education by any means but it will help you get the basics down.

Ideally, you’d be able to ask someone about this in person and get proper responses (assuming the person is knowledgeable and can explain things well). Like seriously, you should do this. Online stuff is nice but it isn’t a replacement for finding a parish and talking to someone.

I couldn’t really do this because I didn’t have access at the time when I was really becoming curious (pandemic and stuck with anti-theist parents lol), so if you’re in a similar situation, the internet is your best friend. In that stage I also followed a lot of catholic and orthodox blogs so I would be surrounded with that content as much as possible. Kind of like how if you’re trying to learn a language you need to immerse yourself in it I guess?

In my pinned post I have a lot of resources that were useful to me linked near the bottom :)

I highly suggest getting a Bible or AT LEAST downloading a good Bible app. Multiple actually. Or listen to something like the Bible in a Year podcast by Fr. Mike Schmitz. I have a study Bible with a lot of footnotes which is GREAT if you love knowing about translations, original texts, and historical context, but not as great if you just want to read the story of salvation itself.

Now you can be the most knowledgeable person on a religion, knowing all the history and all the doctrine, but if you don’t have a relationship with God it means absolutely nothing. The most important thing is to pray. You can’t have a relationship with God if you do not pray. Ask for guidance, ask for assistance in becoming more virtuous, pray for others, just talk to God about anything.

Personally I bought myself a nice rosary once I started seriously considering Catholicism and started to pray using that, but there are countless ways to pray.

The ways that work best for me are lectio divina and the rosary. I can never seem to finish novenas, but those are also nice, and listening to hymns and chant helps me connect to God a lot! ALSO learning about church history and the various saints throughout it. Again, you might be different, so just find what works for you!

LASTLY.

IT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL TO CONVERT AS AN ADULT!!!!! Speaking for Christianity, that is. For something like Judaism it would probably be a bit stranger, especially since Judaism is so heavily linked to a specific culture and ethnicity.

Christianity however is very open to adult converts. That’s how it got started in the first place. There are countless saints who converted later in life, so please please don’t feel weird about it. The Church is probably the most friendly to converts out of all religions. Here’s an article on the Catholic conversion process for adults!

TLDR:

Ask questions, learn, pray, learn some more, pray even more, go find an RCIA program so you can get catechized and baptized. LOVE YOU <3

#if there's anyone following me who could give anon better advice please feel free to do so #im not even baptized yet #so im not the best person to go to for this

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donutloverxo · 3 years

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His queen

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - An anon asked for an au sequel to first night with no stucky but this can be read as a one shot. Thanks to lizzygal(link to ao3) for her advice on this! This is written for @sweetlyscared's 1k angst challenge! Congrats boo! I used the prompt 'Do you love her?' Although this is hardly angsty but it's as angsty as someone as soft as me can get🥺 Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Summary - Married life with Steve was amazing (although with a few bumps in the way) until you discovered a heartbreaking secret.

Warnings - explicit sexual content, painful sex, innocent naive insecure reader, dub con/noncon, soft dark Steve, jealous Steve, ooc villain Sharon, like a little breeding kink, some angst.

Pairing - soft dark king!Steve x reader

Word count - 5.3k

Steve jolted when your palm hit him across his face, his hand circled around your wrist, ready to fight whatever it was that slapped him off, his grip loosening when he realised it was just you. You wiggled your hand away from his grip, mumbling incoherently before turning away from him, so that he could only see the silhouette of your nude back in the dim light.

Although he had been with a handful of women, he never had to share a bed with one. He didn’t think he’d ever have to, he was born in royalty, raised to be a king. While he liked having your soft warm body in his arms, he maybe could live without your hands slapping him, or both your legs over his thighs and hips.

It was customary for wives to have their own chambers after the honeymoon period was over. And with a heavy heart he had sent you to your own chambers, he made sure you were treated to the best luxuries possible.

But he found himself missing your presence soon enough. Your legs over his, you annoying him for attention whenever he was working, the way you hummed a song in your head, how you often clumsily bumped into things, your sweet beautiful voice, your scent, everything about you.

So he went to your room, told you that you were to live with him in his chambers from then on. You were hesitant at first, but didn’t say no to him.

You could never deny him anything. He loved that about you. How subservient you were despite being so fiery.

He was grateful to have made you move in, in times like these, when his cock was hard and achingly pressed against your thigh, he had you right where he wanted you.

He softly called out your name, he’d rather have you awake for this. He loved listening to the sweet sounds he could pull out of you. When you didn’t so much as stir he decided he would just have to wake you up another way.

Pushing your legs off his, spreading them apart to make room for him as he hovered over you, pressing soft kisses, rubbing his beard against your skin, he made his way down to his destination, he was parched for your nectar.

He kissed your petal, your cunt already oozing with need, your body would always want him even if you weren’t awake. He frowned when you didn’t move at all. He had been a bit too rough with you that night, exhausting you, making you pass out as soon as he was done, but he was growing more and more impatient.

Scraping his teeth over your clit, he bit it ever so lightly as you yelped awake.

“Oh!” you gasped when you looked down to find the king between your legs.

Swallowing a lump, because this was still so very strange to you. Your mother had told you how a man and woman make love before your wedding, but she never mentioned anything like this.

From your knowledge the king putting his mouth there wouldn’t result in you getting pregnant. But it did bring you great pleasure, to the point where it was maddening.

Sometimes it was the only thing on your mind.

It was as if you were addicted to it.

“My king...” you squirmed when you felt him push his fingers inside you, “I’m so tired... I have court tomorrow...” How he managed to do all his duties and still have you at least thrice everyday was beyond you.

“You don’t have to go. You’re the queen, the future mother of my children, you deserve a day off. Besides I do work you a bit too hard, don’t I?” he asked before plunging his tongue into your heat.

“Huh? No... I’m glad to be serving you...” And you had yet to give him any heirs.

It wasn’t long before you released all over his mouth, your cheeks heating up when you saw his beard coated with your slick as he wiped it off with the back of his hand.

“You can stay in bed all day tomorrow. That way you’ll be strong and ready by the time I’m back.” He told you before capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, as you tasted yourself on his mouth.

Turns out a day off was everything that you had needed. You were born a princess, albeit of a kingdom standing on its last legs, you were the youngest of six sisters, your prospects weren’t all that great.

Your mother told you that you’d be lucky to get a rich lord, let alone a Duke or a prince. A King was out of the question. She taught you how to handle a household, she never could’ve prepared you for court or to be a queen. You always dreamt of marrying for love. Of running away after falling for a stable boy and living far away and being free.

But you married the King of the most prestigious kingdom in the whole world. While you had grown to love Steven, you didn’t love all the responsibilities that were thrusted upon you so suddenly, you didn’t like how you were always under scrutiny. Every move you made was watched and judged by others. You still couldn’t believe your life sometimes.

So it was nice to have a day to yourself. You had slept in till late in the morning, having your breakfast in bed before taking a leisurely bath and then decided to go for a walk in the garden just before the sunset before you’d have to go back up and have dinner with your husband before having to perform your wifely duties.

“Your grace,” you smiled upon hearing the familiar voice, turning around to see Lady Sharon approaching you.

You hadn’t seen her in over a month. She had been so kind to assist you and help you get acclimated to your duties, you’d always be grateful to her.

“I thought you were under the weather,” she frowned. It was the excuse you had given to skip court with your ladies that day. Which wasn’t a complete lie. You were a little sore between your legs. But a warm bath had fixed that.

“I’m feeling quite better,” you said, standing upright, a dignified smile on your face--formal and curt.

Always be formal and curt with everyone. Your instinct was to hug her when you saw her after her month long trip, like you would to any of your sisters or friends, but you must always act like a queen since you were one.

“How was your trip?” you asked her as she hooked her arm in yours so you could both resume walking.

“It went alright. Mama wants to marry me off to the Duke Stark, the trip was some sort of matchmaking ploy,” she snorted.

“What’s wrong with Stark? He seems so charming.” You remember meeting him at your coronation ceremony. Where he had got you beautiful pearls from an exotic country.

“He maybe charming, but at the end of the day - he’s manwhore.”

You gasped incredulously, your hand over your mouth as you looked around to make sure your maids didn’t hear you, “Lady Sharon,” you chastised her, “We can’t use that sort of language.”

“Forgive me, your grace,” she apologized, “I often forget how naive you are.”

“What? Naive?” you huffed. “Not using such filthy language hardly makes me naive.”

“Live a little, all royals are debauched in one way or another. I’m surprised to see just how much of a square you are.”

“Is... is being a square a bad thing?” You wanted to know. You never thought of yourself as a conformist, in fact your mother used to tell you you’ll die an old maid if you didn’t start acting more like a lady and less like a spoilt brat.

“Sometimes it is...” she pondered. “Well, for instance, being a square in bed might be boring for some men.”

“What?” you gasped again. Tightening your grip on her arm and walking at a faster pace to put some distance between you and your maids, “Give us a minute,” you told them.

“Lady Sharon,” you looked into her blue eyes, much like your husbands but a little darker, “Have you ever been with a man?”

“I have,” she shrugged. “Just the one. He was my true love.”

“Bu – but you aren’t married.” You frowned.

“So?”

“So, how can you make love to anyone if you aren’t married...” Your mother had told you that making love only ever happened between a man and his wife.

“I... you do know what making love entails right? This is what I meant when I said you were too much of a square,” she chuckled.

“Don’t... don’t make fun of me...” you pouted.

“I’m sorry, your grace, it’s just,” she put a hand over her mouth as she cleared her throat, “Really funny. Two people, who aren’t married, can make love. Being married is good but not a requirement.”

“I suppose that makes sense, me and his majesty could do it even if we weren’t married...”

“Is he happy with you?” she wanted to know.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, you don’t know much about physical relations, and there needs to be a certain level of knowledge and experience for it to be good at it.”

“Do you think he is unsatisfied with me?”

“I wouldn’t know,” she shrugged. “Does he seem unsatisfied?”

He was always asking for it. Which you preferred, because you’d die of embarrassment if you ever had to initiate it. You couldn’t go for too long without it either. He had went on a hunting trip for just a couple of days and you wanted to jump on him and keep him in your bed as soon as you saw him.

Why would he ask for it again and again if he was satisfied?

“I’m not sure... since you know so much about it would you give me some advice?”

“My, I would’ve thought you’d call me a harlot or a whore instead you’re asking for advice...” she smirked.

“Oh, I would never. That is what my mother would say, probably, but you’re my friend. Besides, I would want to make love to Steve even if we weren’t married, and if he was a stable boy.”

“A stable boy?” she quirked a blonde brow.

“Yes! And I would be me, a princess. It’s just a silly dream I used to have,” you shrugged. “What happened to your love? The one you lost?”

“He got married to someone else,” she stated. And although she was firm and sophisticated as always, you could hear his voice wavering and how much pain she was in.

“Oh my... I am so sorry, Sharon,” you said, engulfing her in a hug to comfort her, now that you do actually love someone, now that you know what loving someone deeply means, how overwhelming it can be, you couldn’t even imagine what losing that love would feel like. “You’ll find someone better.”

“There is no one better, your grace. But I’ll give you some advice,” she pulled away from you, putting some distance between you both, “You have to pay special attention to his balls. Many ladies tend to forget them.”

“Ball...? Like toys? I don’t believe he has any.”

“Your grace,” she rolled her eyes as she snickered, “He does have them. That is where your children will come from.”

“Um... what? Wouldn’t they come from...” you looked down, to the place between your legs. That’s where kids come from. That’s what you had been told.

“Well, yes, that is where they will pop out of. But the balls... the ones right behind his manhood, that’s where his seed comes from.”

“Oh...” you nodded as you realised what she was talking about. “So... what about the... balls?”

“Just pay special attention to them. He would like that. Suck on them, tug on them... but gently!” she chuckled as she realised she would have to talk down to you since you were so inexperienced.

“Oh... alright... anything else I can do?”

“Try to be more... active... instead of just sitting there and taking it you know?”

“Alright. I think I get the gist of it.”

“You ready for me, petal?” Steven asked as he looked down at you, naked and vulnerable, so beautiful and all his. He nudged his cock against your intimate lips, prodding at your entrance as he awaited your answer. He knew he could be too much for you sometimes, he was trying to do better. So he could make you love him at least half of as much as he loves you.

“Mm-hm... but um...” you trailed off. Not exactly knowing how you would go about asking to suck his balls.

“What?”

“I was just wondering if... I could... do that...” you fluttered your lashes, that usually got you whatever you wanted from him.

“And what is ‘that’?”

“You know... when you make me put my mouth on you...”

He didn’t usually make you use your mouth.

Most of the times Steven had a strict unofficial schedule he followed when it came to lovemaking. He wasn’t someone who liked or embraced change, he was always strategic, as a king and as your husband.

He’d kiss you till you were out of breath, then your neck, and then your breasts, he’d spend a long amount of time there, maybe because you liked that the most probably. And then he’d use his fingers to work you up, tasting you, eating you out and drinking your nectar.

That drove you mad, till you were on the brink of insanity.

You loved it as much as you hated it. You had never felt so out of control in your entire life. Not even when your parents told you they were going to marry you off to a kingdom far away, to a man you had never even met before.

Steven would complain that you thrashed and moved around too much, although he would encourage you to make all the noise that you wished. He pinned you down by your hips. Sometimes he’d make you make once, twice, thrice, it depended on how desperate he was to get his own release.

And then he’d have you on your back. Whispering the filthiest things to you as he fucked you, filled you up with his seed.

He’d hold you close to him, kissing your hair, kissing your cheeks and touching your ever so intimately. That was when you were the most clingy, you’d hold on so tightly to him. You were more vulnerable than usual. You would tell him about how, even though you love being the queen and his wife, it was so new and overwhelming, how you miss your family and your old life. How things had changed and so drastically. He’d always tell you that it would all be okay. That he would take care of you and never let anything bad ever happen to you.

Then he’d have you on your hands and knees. He told you he liked looking at your behind and spanking it.

After that you’d both fall asleep. Sometimes he’d wake up in the middle of the night and nudge you awake to love you some more. But he rarely ever made you suck him off.

“You wanna suck my cock?” he smirked as you meekly nodded. “Go right ahead then, petal. It’s all yours now, you don’t have to ask,” he told you as he sat up on his knees.

You looked at his cock. Hard and standing tall and proud up against his stomach. You now knew that being aroused made him hard and much much bigger. Maybe that’s why it’s often such a tasking job to take him--often leaving your cunt so sore.

Soft dark golden hair, much like that of his beard, and then you noticed them. His twin balls.

You took a deep breath as you took him in your mouth, suckling on his head, following your instincts and what he had taught you.

Your hand coming up and cupping his balls, massaging them gently in your hand. You stopped when you felt him go stiff.

Pulling his cock out of your mouth you looked up at him. “Did I do something wrong?” as you wiped your spittle and his preejaculate off your mouth.

“No,” he shook his head. It wasn’t often that he was stunned. Not ever really. But you, taking that kind of initiative, to touch him without him asking for you to, did shock him just a little.

He held onto the back of your head, bringing his balls just next to your mouth, against your soft lips, “Suck on them,” he told you.

You suckled at one, working the other one with your hand as he pulled at the roots of your head.

“Fuck! Stop!” he heaved, pulling you away, “I have to save it for your beautiful cunt, my queen,” he told you as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before he pushed you back down on the mattress.

Swiftly entering you, you were still as tight as the night of your wedding, which meant he had to be patient while fucking you, and he tried. He really did. But he was not a patient man. Especially not when you had just put your mouth on him and worked your magic in mere seconds.

He put most of his weight on you as he slowly pushed in and out of you, your face scrunched up in pleasure as you dug your nails into his shoulders.

With your pussy hugging him so well, almost as if it was made for him, as if you were made by the gods just for him.

“What have you done to me?” he rasped, touching his damp forehead to yours. You had weaved some sort of magic on him, making him crazy for you. Now it was hard to tell where he ended and you began.

You pressed a hand against your mouth to stop from giggling or making any sort of noise. Resting your back against the cool surface of the throne. You chose the back of the throne in the court as your place of hiding. Maybe it wasn’t the most strategic ploy but you were playing against a six year old.

Lila Barton had asked to play hide and seek with you. Only to receive a scolding from her nanny--to not bother the queen with such trivial matters.

It was as if you were reliving your childhood. You always felt you were made to grow up and be a lady too fast. With your mother and sisters telling you how important it was to act mature and be a lady, or you wouldn’t be able to marry well. Or marry at all.

So you jumped at the first opportunity to play with the kid. Making her count to twenty before looking for a place to hide. You had to go get your lessons for sewing so you didn’t have a lot of time, you hoped she would find you soon.

“But you’re not even considering it!”

You perked up when you heard the familiar voice, it was Lady Sharon! You had to thank her for all her advice, things had been going great with Steven ever since you listened to her. He had been opening up to you as well, although he was still as voracious in his love making. If anything... he wanted you even more now. Which you didn’t think could even be possible.

But some part of you absolutely loved it. And you knew you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You peaked out to see her, to maybe call her to join you on the floor, hiding behind the large throne. You frowned when you saw that she was holding onto Steven’s arm, looking up at him with a certain desperation in her eyes.

“There is nothing to consider. I’m a married man. It would be adultery – a crime,” he stated.

“Bu – but you promised, you told me you didn’t love her. You said you didn’t have any other choice. I’m not asking you to leave her for me, I know that’s not possible. I’m not a fucking idiot like her.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth again to keep your sobs in, tears streaming down your face as you watched your husband, and his lover, have a lovers quarrel.

You couldn’t hear any more of it. Couldn’t bear it breaking your heart anymore than it already had. You quickly got up, fleeing out of the room by the back entrance - which the servants often used.

“You watch your mouth when you speak of the queen,” he yanked his arm free of her, putting some distance between himself and her, “I didn’t make any promises like that. I told you I intended to be faithful to her even if I didn’t love her.”

He knew it was a mistake to ever get involved with Sharon. He never wanted to be a womanizer. But he had his needs. He didn’t think she would become so obsessed with him. He had broken off their short fling as soon as he became betrothed to you.

He felt responsible for all the rumours about him and her and her ruined reputation. So he had arranged for her to marry his good friend Stark but she had her mind set on him.

“I like the queen. She’s a good friend of mine. I don’t intend to replace her,” she explained. She had no interest in being a queen and having such tedious and boring responsibilities anyway—the power and the status that came along with it just wasn’t worth the hassle. She pitied you and how you just weren’t made for the job.

“But she can’t satisfy you, she can’t give you what you need-- What I can give you,” Being the Kings mistress would probably be better than being a Duchess and marrying some boring old man.

“Won’t you even think about it?”

“No I won’t. And you are to never speak of this again,” he warned her.

“Your grace...” Lydia was completely confused. Standing there with your dress in her hands as you frantically stuffed your clothes in a chest.

She had never seen two people as in love as you and the king. When she first met you, it didn’t seem as if you and Steven would make a good couple. She assumed your marriage would be like any other she had seen. Cold and distant.

Steve had never been smitten with a woman, she always felt there maybe something wrong with him. But he had grown so fond of you in such a short time. Even going as far as asking you to live with him in his chambers. Having the king around often made her duties to you challenging. But she was happy for you.

“I don’t understand. What wrong? Why do you want to leave so suddenly.” Does the king approve of your sudden departure? If not would she get in trouble for it?

“He lied to me,” you sobbed. “I thought--” you let out a hiccup.

“Calm down,” she said as she rubbed your forearms. She wasn’t afraid to touch you in such friendly ways, you weren’t as stuck up as most royals.

You took a deep breath as you tried to explain to your handmaiden why you both had to leave as soon as possible. Before Steven gets back. You’ll move all your things to the room you were supposed to live in and just lock him out of your chambers.

“I would’ve been fine living on my own. Just being a wife and a queen. But he made me believe... that we could be more. That he loved me. It’s not true,” you shook your head. “He lied. He has another lover.”

“Oh,” she let out. She was disappointed on your behalf but not surprised. It would be strange if the king didn’t have any other lovers. “I’m sorry, your grace.”

“I’ll be fine,” you sniffled. “This'll be a good lesson for me. My mother always told me I have my head in the clouds and should live in reality. That’ll teach me to dream.”

It was almost funny for her to watch you babble nonsense, stable boys, princesses and backstabbing friends, take a break to cry your heart out and then resume packing and trying to order all the other servants.

“What’s going on here?”

Everyone stopped moving as soon as they heard the kings voice. He of course looked at the Lydia for an explanation.

“The queen wants us to...”

“I’m moving back to my old chambers,” you briskly walked to him, standing right in front of him, looking him in the eye. He was much taller than you, making you crane your neck to actually get a good look at him, but you still tried to look intimidating and confrontational.

“Why?” he frowned. “Put everything back just as it was,” he ordered everyone.

“No!” you stomped your foot, looking very much like an indignant child who had his toy taken away, than a queen, “Don’t! We’re moving!” But of course nobody would listen to you over Steven. Not just because he was their king, but also because he was much more intimidating than you.

“Stop it!” he reprimanded you. “Whatever troubles you may have, we can sort them out together, but you are not moving back. And that’s the end of that.”

“No! I’m leaving! I’d like to see you try to stop me!” You hmphed. Pushing past him and making way for the door. You didn’t need to take your things with you now, you could just send for them later.

You screamed bloody murder when you felt Stevens arm around your stomach, as he threw you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye, “HELP!!” You yelled at the guards and your maids, who didn’t want to get involved, quickly scurrying out of the room.

“Ring the bell if you need anything, your grace,” Lydia said on her way out to you before she closed the door. It didn’t seem as if the king intended to do any real harm to you so she wasn’t that worried about you.

You kept on hitting his back, thrashing around his hold to break free, “Put me down!”

He threw you on your marital bed, his fingers making quick work of ridding him of his clothes so he could show you how he was just never going to let you go.

“Why do you even care? If I leave or not? You can just call for your lover!”

“My lover?” he frowned as he tried to push your skirts up your legs, which was proving to be a difficult task. Maybe he should’ve asked the maids to undress you before making them leave.

“Do you love her?” you asked, looking up at him and stopping your futile resistance for a few moments, your lips wobbly as you felt your vision blue with tears. You were born a princess, living a relatively sheltered life, never knowing pain so unbearable. As if you would never recover from this, you would never be the same.

You would never believe in love again.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, petal,” he said, getting frustrated with all the buttons and ties on your dress and ripping your skirt apart. Which he regretted, just a little because you started crying again.

“No! I like this dress.”

“I’ll buy you another one. I’ll buy you a hundred more.” He said as he hovered over you, diving in to kiss your beautiful lips and make you stop saying such preposterous things.

You sniffled as you tried to push him away, making him gather your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.

“Stop it,” he told you. “When will you understand that you belong to me now? If I say you have to live with me, here, then that’s what you’ll do.”

“I’m not your slave,” you retorted as you tried to wiggle your hands out of his grip.

“Stop listening to rumors! There are plenty going around. I do not have a lover.”

“No. I saw it with my own eyes. You and Lady Sharon. Just this afternoon.”

“What did you see?”

“I... she said she was your lover...?” You tried to think of what exactly had been said between them. But you couldn’t remember. You were blinded by your fury and your sorrow.

“We used to be lovers, before you and I ever met, but not anymore. I could never think of another, I could never love anyone else,” he said softly as he touched your cheek with his other hand, “You want to know why?”

“Why?” you pouted, feeling a little stupid now.

“Because you’ve ruined me, my queen. You’ve made me a lovesick fool. I could never love anyone else the way I love you. Do you want to know how much I love you?” he asked as you meekly nodded.

Pulling his cock out of breaches, he pushed your skirts up, exposing your thighs to him, he rubbed his cock along the slick of your pussy.

“Did fighting with me make you wet, my queen?” he asked, making you avert your gaze.

“I...” it was the way he had simply thrown you around, how he just wouldn’t let you leave, “Maybe...”

“Hm, don’t start picking fights with me for no reason though. My poor heart won’t be able to bear it,” he cooed as he kissed your cheeks, wet from your tears. “You look beautiful when you cry, love, but I only want you crying when I’m fucking you, you understand?”

“Yes...”

He pushed inside you, you were tighter than usual, it was difficult to even properly enter you. The pain of it of course made you cry again. You sobbed into the crook of his neck as he shushed you.

“You feel my love, darling,” he asked as he was buried to the hilt inside you, “I’ll give you a child soon enough. Then you’ll have a living breathing proof of it,” he whispered in your ear as he started steadily moving, making sure that he won’t hurt you.

“I wish... I was your one and only... like you are mine,” you sniffled as you held on to him, soon it is wasn’t hurting as much, it was a little uncomfortable but you could bear through it.

“You are my one and only. You’re the only woman I have ever loved. Do you love me, petal?”

He looked down at you, wanting you to say it. He needed you to love him, for you to say it to him, he needed to know you weren’t here just because you were scared of him.

“I love you, Steve,” you sniffled, rubbing your runny nose with the back of your hand.

He smiled at you, his hand trailing down both your bodies as he twisted your pearl between his fingers.

“It’s okay... it’s okay...” He kept telling you as you screamed at the top of your lungs, your climax making your mind and your vision fuzzy.

“I’m going to fill you up, petal,” he told you as he finished inside you, staying inside you for a long while after he was done just to make sure you knew how he belonged to you just as much as you belonged to him.

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #king!steve x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers

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emerald-chaos · 3 years

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Bemine-Bucky’s 400 500?!? Follower/Birthday Weekend Sleepover!

Thank you so incredibly much for being a follower of mine. When I started this blog and began writing again, I never expected to have so many people interested in what I post. Some of you have genuinely become such good friends of mine, I’ve found new writers whom I absolutely adore and look up to, and I’ve found something that feels fun to do again.

For this sleepover I simply couldn’t help myself and I decided to make it Vine themed. Some of these work well together and others I made fit for the sake of the things I wanted to do lmao so don’t come for me too hard! Vine was such a power house back in its day, and while there are some very iconic tik toks, I wanted to pay homage to our fallen hero. I’ve linked each vine to its respective emoji, that way if you haven’t heard of the vine or just want a refresher you can enjoy it!

Anyone can participate! Anons are welcomed as well. All I ask is that you send me either the corresponding emoji or vine that goes with which game/conversation you’d like to participate in! If none of these tickle your fancy, feel free to simply talk about whatever the hell you want or send in some requests and I’ll try to get to what I can 😊 (because it’s my show, not yours).

This sleepover will begin on midnight Central Standard Time of Friday July 9th and carry over until Monday July 12th at 11:59pm Central Standard Time. But more than likely I’ll still continue to answer if people still want to send stuff in

Feel free to send multiple asks - you won’t be a bother at all! I hope you all enjoy my stupid little idea and please know I love you all so incredibly much and am so fuckin grateful for you 💖. Under the read more are the things we can chat about!

⛓Don’t kinkshame me. Kinkshaming is my kink. - Interested to know what I think about a kink? Send it in and I’ll rate it using this scale! (I won’t actually kimkshame you, no worries!)

⚠️Road work ahead? Uh, yeah. I sure hope it does. - Curious about what I have cooked up in my wips? Now is your time to ask! I will post a blurb, quote, portion, or working title of something I’ve got cooking up!

🐓Look at all those chickens! - Ask me for a picture of my dog, or better yet, share a picture of your pet with me!

🛹So no head? - FMK (anything goes…I know I will regret saying that)

👬And they were roommates! Oh my god they were roommates. - Pick an AU and a character to go along with it and I’ll write you a drabble! Now is your time to send in any request you’ve been itching to see. (I will try my hand at basically any AU/trope and I write for most C Evans & Seb Stan characters, but I’d be willing to branch out to other marvel characters!)

Here are a few prompt lists if you need help

📖I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read - Send me a fic you want me to read! It can be yours or just one you’re a fan of. You could also ask me for a fic rec and I’ll send you one from my list!

🎭When there’s too much drama at school all you gotta do is walk awayeyayye - Having problems you wanna talk about? Lay it on me and I’ll be here to listen or I can give you some advice if you want it❤️

💞I love you bitch. I ain’t gon never stop loving you, bitch. - Need some positivity today? Let me HYPE YOU UP.

🚔This is the comedy police, the jokes too funny! - Send a meme or request a meme! I will also share jokes, videos, tik toks, or suggestions of things I like/find funny!

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨I really do love working here, it’s just, we all have a lot of laughs. - Since we get along so well, ask me to cast my mutuals! Anything goes - characters, shows, vines, tik toks, foods, and more. You can also use this one for would you rather, ships, and other fun games!

💁🏻‍♂️What the fuck is up Kyle? - What did you say dude?? Tell me about yourself and I’ll ship you with a character. Or if you want, tell me who you ship me with!

⛪️I want a church girl who go to church, and read her bible - Interested in a curated playlist? Give me an idea and i'll try to come up with a mini playlist for you! Whether it’s a character or tell me about yourself and I’ll try to come up with something maybe you would like.

Tagging some mutuals who may be interested 🥰

@sunshinebuckybarnes @thanksforallthesushi @wastingmylifeonbritishtv @coffeebucko @babycap @blackberrybucky @belladonnabarnes @clints-lucky-arrow @electricbarnes @mischievous-barnes @buckybarneschokeme @buckys-blue-eyes @vanillanaps @lokiscollar @babyboibucky @fvryroads @xxindiglow @suchababie @divine-mistake @theyoutubedork @ritesofreverie @sableseb @buckycuddlebuddy @bibbidibobbidibucky @darlingsteve @lookiamtrying @sweeterthanthis @msmarvelwrites @navybrat817 @animehearteyes

#sav’s 400 follower birthday sleepover #BMB’s 400 follower birthday sleepover #peep that unhhhh reference baybeeeee #I love you all so much #thank you for everything #sav’s 500 follower birthday sleepover #bmb’s 500 follower birthday sleepover

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1kook · 4 years

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Hi Everyone, please read

tw// racism

First of all, I just wanna say I’m so grateful for all the nice anons and interactions I get to have with people here everyday. I live in a densely populated city so quarantine regulations were super tough when this all started in March and remain strict even all the way into October. I haven’t been able to see my friends a lot or anyone outside of my family and job, which really sucked, but it was fine because I had my blog! The beginning of September I had two fics that did so amazing and of which I am so thankful for their response, because with that came a lot of new anon friends!

I have been on tumblr since 2012, but I have never received the same amount of interaction as I do now. I’m so happy I can interact with people on here be it anonymous or not. I enjoy hearing ideas and doing my best to fulfill them, hearing about someone’s day, and laughing about stupid jokes. It’s gotten to the point where some have picked names and further fleshed out our friendships because of how close we’ve gotten!! I have had so much fun everyday asking stupid questions and getting equally as silly answers and it’s all because I was able to make people feel comfortable on my blog.

However, people are not always nice. That’s fine! It’s the internet, this will always happen. Rarely do I get hateful anons and rarely do I post the few I do get. Sometimes they’re funny and I laugh and go about my day. Most anons have been about my style as an author, the types of fics I put out, and for the most part, the similarity in all my fics. I’ll address this now. if you feel my fics are all the same then consider this.

1. I write fics FOR MYSELF about ideas I have and want to see, and post them FOR MYSELF. I don’t mean to sound cocky but at the end of the day every fic i have ever posted is just me filling my own imagination in a self indulgent way. They’re all the same because they’re all things I like??? Things I want to read??? No offense, but unless I am filling a requests, you’re GONNA SEE jk college au. jk boyfriend. jk dom/sub. jk this and this. Why? Because it’s my blog and I post what I like.

2. If you don’t like my fics.... don’t read them? I am not holding you at gunpoint to read these fics nor is anyone else. If you appear on my blog to complain about my fics ... okay?? I’m not gonna change them lmao. You’re not the target audience, so move along.

But truthfully speaking, this is not the main reason I am making this post. Do I care what people online think about my fics? Mmm not really. Writing fics is something I do in my free time as a hobby. I’ve never wanted to do this professionally lmao. I do it for fun when I’m bored or procrastinating. I have other hobbies I do too. I journal i paint i play soccer I listen to music. I frankly am not offended when people critique my work, especially not when they chose to do it through an anonymous message.

What DOES offend me is when people abuse the anonymous option to be spiteful and hateful, and use my ethnic background against me... OVER KPOP. OVER FAN FIC ABOUT KPOP.

Am I offended about the first part of the ask? No I don’t care. What I am disgusted and disturbed by is that you have been blatantly racist and ignorant not only to ME but to ALL OTHER POCS with the second half of your message. Being a POC writing for BTS is bad?? What do you prefer I write about? Shawn Mendes? Niall Horan? I’d rather choke. What do you even mean??? Am I supposed to write Can fic for completely unproblematic people?? Give me an example?? Furthermore, I am not black so for you to come in here and disrespect black people with your last comment is immature, disgusting, and racist. Go to hell.

I deleted the message. I always delete excessively rude messages. I was hoping it was a one time occurrence but nope. A few hours later.

My status as an undocumented immigrant is something I have shared on tumblr because it is my safe space and somewhere where no one in real life knows me. Did you think this was funny? Did you think I actually laughed? I didn’t. I won’t lie. This ask terrified me. You’re threatening to call ICE on me.... OVER KPOP? OVER FAN FICS OF KPOP? How old are you. How immature do you have to be to take it this far.

I deleted this message and turned off anon. I am not gonna let some anonymous grey sunglasses orb abuse the anonymous option like this. Honestly, I knew another message was bound to follow up and it did 🤗

thanks for showing me your face, doll. I reported your account and so did a bunch of friends of mine. It’s funny that you mention writing better content but your blog is only ten posts? 9 of which are reblogs of fan fics? What do you write babe? What do you do? Where do you post? As I’ve said before I frankly don’t care for writing advice, this is just a hobby. But if you’re going to claim you’re some modern day Shakespeare maybe have the proof to back it up. Also your first posts says you’re a black woman, but your first ask to me says POC shouldn’t enjoy BTS.... honey all your posts are about BTS. So what’s the truth? Do we enjoy them or not? Next time you feel some type of way towards me as a Mexican woman, don’t start off by hiding behind anon until I force you off, don’t disrespect me or other POCs, and don’t use a burner account like you did. And for the record. I barely believe you’re black, and honestly speaking, everything about your asks have racist undertones only a white person could carry out.

Anyway. I am posting this because I want to highlight just how difficult it is to be a POC in this fandom. Army preach about being this or being that. We love each other. We look out for each other. ARMY is family blah blah blah.

No we’re not.

I have been an ARMY since 2015. The only places I have ever found comfort within this fandom are with other POCs, and even then it is only a few people here and there. This random ass hoe that I have NEVER interacted with before decided to take the fact I am a POC and taunt me, attack me, harass me, whatever you want to call it, and didn’t come off anon until I forced them off.

I am so beyond tired of being a POC in this fandom. When will you all recognize that one “I stand by” post is never enough to support us. “I can’t be racist I support BTS’s message💜” shut the hell up. You kiss these men’s feet for being your woke kings but then turn around and say things like this. Was it fun? Was it cool parading around in your ‘I do whatever BTS does’ cloak? You guys pick and choose when you want to be a model ARMY, and then turn around do things like this. Over kpop. Your allyship means nothing when there are still people like this in fandom who try to bully me OVER KPOP. OVER JUNGKOOK. OVER A MAN WE DONT KNOW AND NEVER WILL KNOW.

Please don’t interact with this person. Please just block and report them.

Anon’s gonna be off for a while, thanks for reading.

#please read #negative

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idratherdreamofjune · 3 years

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@sunheart wrote in her tags on another post:

Genuinely hate being alive ... I completely understand on so many levels why you would hate being a woman. Its horrible. And then as a Christian there's this whole really ugly dynamic- that i know is probably a lie i just haven't worked out how yet- that we're the 2nd best. The afterthought. The mediocre option. Almost everything in life men are better at and it's hard to believe it's just cultural- math logic leadership writing cooking writing physical activities on and on, and women are good at being Nice :) Which ok i like being nice but it's like that's my only option I feel like any other impact i might wish to have upon the world will be paltry in comparison to what i could do if only i was a man. I feel incompetent. Irrational. Emotional. Obnoxious. I feel like I'm supposed to be a plaything for the beings that were *actually* created to be in harmony with God like I'm not supposed to have a connection with God- only through my husband which what does that make me as a single childless bitch? I can't even fulfill the main point of my existence. Jesus interacted with women but did he care about them like he did the men? David and John were named his favorites not Deborah or Hannah. And like i said i'm sure none of that's true but i don't know how and it feels awful. hate it.

Hopefully others have shared encouragement on this already, but just in case I wanted to give some thoughts. Please know that if I sound riled at all (and I’m going to try to avoid that) I’m not upset at anyone who feels this way but am deeply upset by the enemy’s lies that so many are hurt by. As a younger believer I did struggle with some of these questions myself, and for a long time it was difficult to reconcile these concerns with the promises that God loves me.

Your instincts are right - it is a lie that women are second best. And before I go any further let me also agree that yes, we are physically weaker than men and have other weaknesses too. But since when has weakness meant that someone is any way “less than” others? Men have weaknesses too, just different ones. That’s the nature of humanity: every person is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses. I’ve never heard before that men are better at cooking?? My dad literally struggles to cook a hotdog in the microwave and has never touched a grill in his life. And okay men may (possibly, not sure on this one either) be inherently better at math, but which gender is drastically underrepresented in the nursing field? I suspect there are fewer male teachers, too, though not as huge a disparity. Men are more prone to recklessness and violence - part of the reason married men live longer (gotta get that stable influence). Again yes men are physically stronger but have you watched ballet dancers (oooh i mean ballerinas, sorry there’re so few ballerinos that I forgot to differentiate) or female gymnasts? Nothing “less than” there! The famous Proverbs 31 woman is a good insight into Biblical support of female abilities and value: “strength and dignity are her clothing”, “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” “Let her works praise her in the gates.” (The gates were essentially the city hall or forum of ancient Israel.)

Going back to the beginning - women were created second, true. But did God not know His own plan? He was always going to create women. And the really amazing thing that I learned in the last couple of years is that, when God says He’s going to make Adam “a helper” (Hebrew ”ezer”), that’s the same word that is used to describe God’s actions for His people throughout the Old Testament: - Exodus 18:4 “The God of my father was my help.” - 1 Samuel 7:12 “Ebenezer” means “rock of help” and is a memorial of Yaweh’s help. - Psalm 30:10 “Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!” - Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield” - Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the Lord” - Hosea 13:9 “‘You are against Me, against your helper.’“

It is a common word for “help” used in other settings, yes, but the fact that it’s used of God illustrates that this is no poor or second-rate role. Helping - aiding - supporting - incredibly important! In fact this article I just found puts it this way:

In two cases it refers to the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2. Three times it refers to powerful nations Israel called on for help when besieged. In the sixteen remaining cases the word refers to God as our help. He is the one who comes alongside us in our helplessness. That's the meaning of ezer. Because God is not subordinate to his creatures, any idea that an ezer-helper is inferior is untenable. In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Payne puts it this way: "The noun used here [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest 'helper' as in 'servant,' but help, savior, rescuer, protector.'

Moving on to the New Testament, and the topic of John, who is known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John is the one who wrote the book which tells us that (under the direction of the Holy Spirit, yes) and he only uses that wording as a title, in place of his name. Nowhere does it say he was the favorite disciple, or even most loved, just that he was loved. To me it seems more as if John is saying “Jesus loved me! Can you believe it?!” It has a feeling of awe and thankfulness as opposed to superiority.

Getting into marriage specifically, I do believe that a wife should be under the headship of her husband ...mainly in the sense of letting him have the last word on decisions and plans. This is in part due to differing areas of strength, and in part because in some situations it’s better to have a family leader - most groups of humans need a leader, and following an assigned (or picked) leader does not make one inferior. All that being said, a wife should be able to provide input, advice, and feedback to her husband, who should take into strong consideration his wife’s needs, insights, and concerns (Ephesians 5:25-29).

The lie that women cannot be connected to God outside of their husband is refuted not only by all the vibrantly faithful single or windowed Christian ladies of history (Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, and Elisabeth Elliot are some of my favorites) but also Scripture itself. When Christ spoke with the divorced Samaritan woman the disciples were shocked not because she was a Samaritan but because she was a woman (John 4:27; she was shocked on both counts - John 4:9) - I hope they got used to it because Jesus spoke with women a lot. Despite the culture of the time, Jesus clearly had very warm and caring direct relationships with Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other women. Anna the Prophetess in the temple had been widowed for decades and was serving God alone “night and day” (Luke 2:37). Incredibly, in a culture where women were looked down upon, the Lord chose women to be the first to discover the empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene to be the first to see the risen Christ! I love that passage so much (John 20:11-18).

Another example is when Jesus stopped on His way to heal Jairus’ daughter (i.e. He put aside a powerful man’s urgent request) to lovingly interact with the woman who’d suffered bleeding for years - a terribly personal and female problem (Mark 5:21-35).

To try to wrap up, I’ll return to David in the OT, who was a “man after God’s own heart”. But again, it doesn’t say that he was actually a favorite - it does say David was chosen by God though, to lead Israel and establish the family from which Jesus would ultimately come. You know who else was chosen? Esther - “for such a time as this”. Once she realizes the task she must complete, she tells Mordecai how it’s going to go, and “Mordecai then went away and did everything Esther had ordered him.” Esther gets a book named after her and is remembered in the holiday of Purim to this day. Also note that Esther was married to an unbeliever. Likewise Ruth was chosen, as a young foreign widow, to be part of the Messiah’s kingly line. As an aside, my favorite thing about Ruth’s story (besides all the faith and beauty of it) is the simultaneous deep respect and protectiveness Boaz shows towards her (okay enough mush). Anyhow what it comes down to is that God chooses and loves both men and women, and both have a place (singly and married) in His plans and kingdom. See also Galatians 3:28 “ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

This post has all over the place, and I probably forgot a bunch of things I wanted to add (if anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later), but I hope it’s been encouraging. Yes I’ve struggled with some aspects of how women are portrayed in the Bible, but what I shared above, plus the love and blessings I’ve known as a single woman are more than enough evidence that we are known and loved. If anything is unclear or anyone has any questions please speak out/send an ask! Anon asks are on too. Also if anyone wants to add or amend anything do so without hesitation!!

#marriage #women in the Bible #Book of Ruth #Book of Esther #singleness #Scripture #lies

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cancerbiophd · 3 years

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Why am I so afraid of professors? They're all so smart and cool and I always feel like I'm not good enough, especially when they appear to be irked or treat me coldly/with hostility. It makes me feel stupid and unadequate and unworthy. I'm terribily uneasy every time I have to interact with them. Even if I studied hard and I know I'm saying something correct i tend to get unsure and submissive, like in a very 'i-hope-i'm-doing-this-right' and 'please-don't-hurt-me' way. Of course this affects my exams because it looks like I'm not sure of what I'm saying... and the professor gets irked even more because they obviously think I haven't studied and I'm wasting their time. I hate myself for it. Please, do you have any tips to overcome this?

Hi Anon, ohh I know that experience very well. I also used to be absolutely terrified of professors when I was in college. Raising my hand to ask a question in lecture? Nuh uh! Going to office hours? NUH UH. I had huuuge anxiety regarding all that.

But it slowly got better (though it took longer than I--and my grades--would’ve hoped), so I have some ideas on how you can also become more comfortable around professors. Feel free to try any you feel comfortable doing, and also keep in mind this is in no way a comprehensive list of ideas, and that everything will take baby steps and most importantly, time.

Firstly, know it’s not your fault. I’m not a therapist or anything so take this with a grain of salt, but it seems to me that something traumatizing may have happened in your past/still happening in your present to create this current feeling of fear around authority figures, especially if one of your constant fears is being physically hurt by them. If that seems to ring true, I highly recommend seeking the advice of a professional therapist, as they can help you find more permanent solutions through these types of obstacles. I think seeking a therapist would be a very kind thing you can do to take care of yourself because, most importantly, you deserve to live a life free from fear, and secondly, it’s affecting your day-to-day life (ie. your grades and mental well-being).

Secondly, I really hope you have a really good experience with a professor one day. A professor who is so kind and so passionate about helping you that it’s a huge step in healing and growing. To get you started, I highly recommend following one of my favorite blogs and professors on tumblr @xiaq. They’re seriously amazing and just, an all around good person.

Sit near the front of the classroom/lecture hall. Not only will this help in paying attention/retaining information during class, but just by being closer to your professor will help slowly ease you into being more comfortable in their presence. You may also feel more comfortable asking questions in class, as you won’t have a wall of students turning around to look back at you as you speak (I know this gave me huge anxiety).

Have a study-buddy for each class who you can go to office hours with. Experiences are always less intimidating when you’re with another person. Another bonus of a study-buddy is that you can also ask them any questions you have, and thus possibly skip having to interact with the professor all together (which would be a good thing if the professor really is being unhelpful and rude).

Going off of that, surround yourself with people who inspire you, specifically those with are very comfortable around professors. As social creatures, we oftentimes will passively pick up the mannerisms of those around us. I used to be suuuuper timid and shy, but my confidence grew during high school and college after I became friends with more confident people.

Seek out a TA first (if possible). TAs are students too (they’re just in graduate school), and they may come across as less intimidating. Heck, I could’ve been your TA :)

Spend more time with professors or TAs, even passively. Regular exposure is the fastest way to having something feel “normal”, after all. Ideas of doing this include: volunteering at a research lab, getting a part-time job on campus somewhere that has regular interaction with professors or TAs, volunteering at university-sponsored events with professors, hanging out at community learning centers where TAs volunteer as free tutors (if your university has them), signing up for smaller-sized classes (more professor interaction), or even doing homework in public study lounges near professor offices (these areas have the bonus of usually being more quiet than libraries).

Do something even more intimidating than interacting with a professor. Ok here me out: Once you accomplish something that’s even scarier, your newly gained confidence will be like, “Wow, if I could do something that’s so much more intimidating, then talking to my professor isn’t so bad in comparison!” What you do is up to you, but it should be something that’s obviously safe, but challenging enough so that it’s just a little bit scary, and in the end you’ll be more confident for having accomplished it. Like performing in public, or running for a leadership position for a club you’re in, or working a part-time job/volunteering opportunity that gives you the chance to interact with lots of diverse people.

Know you are not being a burden when you ask a professor for help. A) It’s their literal job to teach. You are no more a burden asking a professor for help on their class than you are going to the doctor’s office when you’re sick. As a student who is paying thousands of dollars in tuition (or someone is paying that for you), you are the reason why that professor has a job and a salary. So they need to do their job well, right? B) Teaching is also their passion. There are a variety of career paths they could’ve taken (especially for those with a PhD), and staying in academia is usually by far one of the hardest and most competitive paths, so the fact that they’re still there means that they really do enjoy what they do.

But know also that professors are human. Sometimes they may be having a bad day that’s unrelated to their students, and may seem a bit more tense and terse. We’ve all been there, right? If a professor or my boss seems a bit snippy that day, unless they explicitly say to me “Julia, I am so mad at you right now”, I chalk it up to something else happening in their lives that has nothing to do with me. My mental wellbeing has greatly improved by adopting this way of thinking: “never assume another person’s intentions and only accept what they explicitly tell you.”

Say more “thank you”s instead of “I’m sorry”. This moves things away from erroneously putting all the blame on you towards being appreciative of the other person’s time and energy. Instead of “I’m so sorry I don’t understand this from class” try saying “Thank you for taking the time to teach this again to me”. See how different the vibes are? And how much more positive you feel by saying the second one? The other person will also feel more positive about the interaction too. If you catch yourself instinctively saying “I’m sorry” (because I know it’s a habit that’s hard to shake), quickly follow up with a “thank you” as well: “I’m sorry I don’t understand this from class but thank you for taking the time to teach this again to me.”

Lastly, be patient and kind with yourself as this will take time. Overcoming something that gives us anxiety takes exposure, patience, and time; it won’t happen overnight. Take baby steps at first, and it’s ok if you just can’t do something today. That’s alright, you can try tomorrow.

Also, if anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or words of support to share, please feel free to reblog or leave a reply!

Good luck anon, I hope things get easier for you ❤️

#Anonymous #college advice

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howldean · 3 years

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stfu just say you're a snowflake. they them isn't singular and your "identity" labels aren't even real, like seriously you're gay or straight or a girl a boy or a tranny stop lying to yourself and see a fucking therapist you dumb faggot

Hello there, anon!

See, usually, I’d simply discard your message and laugh about how pathetic you are to my friends over discord (some can confirm that I’m doing this there too <3) but fuck it! I’m feeling combative tonight and I’m procrastinating, so I might as well waste my time making you feel special like a snowflake

Let’s break this down in order of appearance:

1. Pronouns!

Singular they IS in fact proper grammatically. Singular they is used for some nonbinary individuals, *like myself* as well as in context to an unknown person (i.e. someone left their phone here, if anyone saw who they were, please give it to them)

(official Merriam-Webster dictionary def)

so yeah, fuck off about that <3

2. Identity

I... *inhales* YOU DON’T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND LABELS FOR THEM TO BE VALID! ADDITIONALLY you say it’s boy/girl/trans-spec but then what about intersex people? Intersex individuals have biological factors that aren’t catergorized as male or female sexes. (XXY, XXX, XXYY chromosome anomalies, as well as hormone imbalances, and discrepancies in genital development) //for the lovely humans reading this, please look into intersex youth rights and protections, as some can undergo forced genital mutilation surgeries at a young age to “better align” with M/F sexes. InterACT is a great advocacy resource btw//

✨Biological sex isn’t binary either✨

Also, fun fact! Attempting to invalidate my identity isn’t going to change anything. Why?

This is the happiest I’ve ever been about who I am

Gender and sexuality are fluid, and one packet of gelatin isn’t going to harden the Thames

my partners and I will happily engage in a swordfight with you and your partner (if one is present) mind you, there’s three of us and at most two of you, and two of my team are skilled with the blade. And we’re all highly motivated

dude, I’m just as confused as you are, I’m just vibing with what’s comfortable

oh... and also?

That shit’s fucking legal. Feel free to look at my State ID, my gender is legally marked ‘X’

soooooo yeah have fun with that

3. Lying to myself

Honey, of the pair of us, I’m the one that’s speaking publicly. Did I have to post this? Nope. Am I doing it anyway? Yep.

I lie to myself about a lot of things, this ain’t one of them, babe.

4. Therapy

I am actually seeing a therapist! She’s awesome, and I’ve been going for about a month and a half now. She specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ youth, and has a really compatible mindset with how I process trauma and things that I’ve held onto.

Moral of the story, therapy is absolutely amazing, especially with someone that can understand you. 11/10 would recommend.

Thanks for the advice there, though.

5. Dumb f*ggot

*rubs my grubby lil hands together with enough force to generate static electricity*

Welcome to tonight’s Everything Was Fine But You Just Fucked Around... Time To Find Out segment

Intelligence is entirely circumstantial, so honestly not sure how to reply to that. But if I’m dumb, and you’re the one that doesn’t comprehend basic usage of common words and phrases... what does that make you?

As for your tasteless and unoriginal phrasing, all I can say is I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in you. There are SO MANY big and beautiful monsterous phrases for you to call me! Hell, make your own.

You might actively GAIN respect from me for some. SO MANY OPTIONS. There’s a whole bank of potential for you, I mean Niobium? The element for one of my names, it’s a transition metal you’ve got so many fucking choices there, and each is as epically transphobic as you could possibly dream of. Talk shit about bees, idk. Hell, call me a cuckolding bleach-drenched shitstain!

Finally, to my followers and mutuals

Hey loves! Sorry you had to read all of that, people suck, huh? But hey, I was honestly looking for a good chance to word-vomit about a couple things, so this worked out nicely. I’m fine. This genuinely had me laughing and giggling at the sheer dumbassery exhibited by that anon! Btw, drink some water for me! If you want to show me support, or make me feel better, get a good night’s rest soon, or send me opossum photos. If a Pity Party means I get opossums, then I might pretend like these words affected me in any way that didn’t make me cackle maniacally

P.S.

I’m gonna have to go digging through my archive for a lil post because ummm

Sorry anon, I really am, because JJ is going to fucking murder you, Ash is going to damn you to hell, and every single one of my mutuals will lunge to harm you in their own special lil ways.

And I can’t save you from that ❤️

tl;dr singular they exists, attacking my identity won’t change that - also I can fence, and I’m legally nonbinary, intersex people deserve love, I’m genuinely happy with who I am, THERAPY IS FUCKING WONDERFUL, anon is an unimaginative doofus, and all of my followers and mutuals deserve the world... and the anon fucked with the wrong people

#baby's first anon hate?#tw homophobia #tw transphobia #answering anons #tw slurs #fuck around and find out

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

How Day6 would react to overhearing you admit your crush on him to one of the other members

AN: a request from anon. i feel ive treated this more seriously (and focused perhaps more on the confessions themselves, bc i interpreted ‘crush’ subconsciously as ‘having long-term-feelings for’) than you meant in your request but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Sungjin

“hyuuun, i’m in love please make it stop.” “only way that’s going to happen is if you go tell him.” “...i hate you.”

sungjin... i picture is going to date to marry (or an equivalent if marriage is not for you, as though i get the vibe he’s quite traditional, for the right person he would be very easily convinced), so he takes crushes and confessions quite seriously

probably would feel bad for eavesdropping

then would feel happy that you felt the same way

but then more serious issue of now having to confess would take over

would spend a long time thinking of the best way to do it

would probably settle on a classic walk or cinema/theatre depending on what’s showing

would make damn sure he and you would be alone while confessing—so to save both parties from pressure and embarrassment should things go wrong

also he’s quite a private guy and would want to let others know on his own and your terms

ngl probably wouldn’t admit he’d overheard you until like... a long time later

it would be under the initial reasoning that he would wait until you were stable so it wouldn’t have too big of an effect

but then he would forget

until it randomly came up in conversation

like we may even be talking years here

maybe when you live in your own place, just the two of you, and you’re hanging out with him and younghyun who is just refusing to go home bc the food is too good at yours who brings it up

“i don’t understand how it took so long for you two to get together, like even wonpil was starting to find yn’s pining sickening.”

and you would be salty, because “excuse me i hid my desperation very well!”

and sungjin would just immediately come to support you because he’s a loyal motherfucker and would begin, without thinking “she did, i didn’t know until i—”

that would be when he stops himself bc hes like oh shit i didn’t tell her and now two very curious sets of eyes are like staring at him and he’s 98% sure he can’t backtrack at all

“when you what?”

and he would just sigh “when i overheard you telling younghyun that you liked me”

and there’d be a moment of silence, followed by laughter

youngk would be confused, probably, having a surprisingly better recollection that you perhaps would “wait i remember that—how did it take you two months to work out what to do next?!”

and you end up just laughing harder, before noticing the the mix of emotions on sungjins face and reassure him “it doesn’t matter how long it took, we’re together now”

anyway overall sungjin is probably quite serious about it, but it will have a happy ending, you’ve just got to be patient lmao

Jae

“dowoon, what do i do?”

jae would be playful about it

after hearing you ask dowoon for advice since hes good friends with him he would be ecstatic, but would try and keep it lowkey

he’d hide out of sight of the doorway he’d passed by to have his little moment

and then he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling

his eyes would keep glancing to you for the rest of the day, even more than usual

but i think he would want to make things more official as soon as possible, as he doesn’t want to waste any time when he could do it sooner and be with you

and so he’d ask if you had a spare moment on the day or so, and take you some place quiet

not necessarily his room, more likely just outside the front door in the warm summer air

and ngl i think he would totally pull the “i think you know why i summoned you here today”

of course, yall have no idea, but you’re used to his occasional crackheadery—otherwise why would you crush on him so hard? “not a bit, but if its a trip to get snacks you don’t even have to ask, i’m in”

“well, that is a plan for later... depending on how this goes”

that’s the point where you would get confused and begin to wonder if something is up, but hel’l continue “i found out something really cool today yn.”

“really? was it the pin to brian’s credit card?”

he would laugh but shake his head, “nah even better” and that would give you the heads up that this was serious, and it would occur to you that he might have overheard something

but it becomes obvious when he follows with “a little bird... told me that someone, likes someone else, in our group. our friendship group.”

you briefly consider panicking, as the whole thing could still be construed as him not liking you back, but you put on a brave face and push through, “oh really? who?”

“that’s the problem, i don’t know, but i was wondering if you did.”

the chance was clear for anyone to see, and seeing the glimmer of hope, you seize it “well, i know someone who likes you... but i’m not sure if its mutual, so that might be why they haven’t said”

“if it’s who i think it is, then it definitely is... mutual” he would admit

and that would be the closest the two of you ever got to literally word-for-word confessing, because out of nerves neither of you would probably be able to admit it at the crux of the moment

however, like in all the movies idc if its cliche you would gravitate towards each other, and that would be the moment where you both recognised your feelings as well as shared your first kiss together

ok i’m going to stop before i combust

anyway as for whether he’d admit he’d overheard you, he would probably be quite quick to the chase on that one too, probably right after the kiss and you’ve spoken about it a bit more, he’ll probably just say “i kind of accidentally overheard you telling dowoon, please don’t be mad at me”

but how could you be, you’d gotten what you wanted after all

in conclusion, jae is lighthearted about it and woudn’t waste any time

Younghyun

“wonpil did i tell you how much i love his eyes?” “hmmm... perhaps... but tell me again, to just to make sure.”

god bless wonpil his emotional support would be A+

right off the bat our youngk is a songwriter

he probably finds a lot of inspiration out of love

and so his feelings for you coalesce to create love songs that he may or may not use in the future

anyhow, it means that to cope with his feelings he’s probably half composed something small where he admits them

with little intention of you probably ever hearing it at all

or at least, not without big chunks edited and names changed/cut

but when he overhears you rambling to wonpil who doesn’t mind the sappiness a characteristic you probably got off our brian anyway with his occasional borderline emo-ness

he’s grateful to his past-self for starting it, and realises that maybe its time to finish it

so it’ll take a week or so for him to finally confess

bc even though hes a bit of a flirt, i don’t see him wanting to tarnish love, since he owes it so much and its not fun to play with someone’s heart, especially not yours

so it might take him a little longer, and when he gets round to it, it’ll be perfect, just like you in his eyes

so prepare to be serenaded

yes, that sort of serenaded

in dim evening light, with the sun’s glow beginning to fade and make way for the stars, flickering like the candles laid out for you

again, that classical vibe won’t be missed on him

as for whether he’d tell you, probably only if you asked, but he would add that he’d been writing the song beforehand

he just may not admit to not planning on ever performing it

overall? when it comes to romantic flair, kang younghyun is king

Wonpil

“sungjin, uh, do you know where wonpil is? i can’t—” “isn’t he at your hip?” “as much as i kind of wish he was, he kind of isn’t.”

wonpil, my lovely sweetheart

probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself from just

walking straight in when he accidentally overhears you to ask right there and then

like, you’re probably pestering talking to sungjin in the kitchen or another equally frequented place, so it was likely that someone was going to overhear anyway

and maybe that was part of sungjins plan dont put it past him

but also it meant wonpil got further into the room the hunt for sustenance spurring him on, you know how it is before he caught onto what was being said, thus making it harder to back out

thus sungjin knew he’d overheard, but you with your back to the door were still clueless

and would’ve stayed that way had wonpil not continued and straight up asked or sungjin not said anything, which lets face it by this point he was really considering doing

he would be really excited about hearing that the feelings were mutual, and you were right there so what harm was really being done if he did just straight up waltz in?

as soon as you heard his small “you like me too?” you would whip around

aaand that would be sungjin’s cue to leave

“do you mean that?”

“it only feels right when you’re by my side, pillie.”

the words you would exchange would be in a soft flurry of emotion tbh, out of disbelief but excitement for the future

most likely ending with you embracing, foreheads resting against one another’s

fluff hours only in the house of pil, ok?

Dowoon

“jae, do you think dowoon will be free tomorrow?” “yea why?” “i want to take him to the cat cafe—” “oh my god is it happening?! is it really happening? are you finally going to tell him? plan ILU is underway?” “keep it down!” “oh god everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm—!”

my bean

my lovely bean

would feel guilty over accidentally eavesdropping, and this would reflect in his shyness later

however, he decides to run with the silver lining of having the chance to be prepared for tomorrow

and so he would not say a word and try and act natural

especially when you ask him if he wants to go out somewhere with you the next day

he’s not sure how he did, he tried to hide his ears as best he could but he was also well aware you knew him too well

when the next morning rolls around, he’s up early, getting ready in nice clothes that he hopes aren’t suspiciously too nice

and then he waits, trying to calm is nerves, before realising that maybe ignorance is bliss

when the time comes and you make your way to the cafe, he finds it difficult to act surprised, but also to try and keep his breath steady

finally, near the end, after asking if he had a good time and wanted to come back, you confess you liked him and it’s as if a weight lifts off his shoulders

he would kiss your cheek soon after, without much warning, out of relief and joy and nerves and a whole lot of else

and you’d probably pull him in for a proper kiss by his collar as soon as you’re sure he’s ok with it

and then the fact he eavesdropped would be a secret that he would die with

~~~

Masterlist

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

Note

Not sure if this is phrased right. how do you write characters without making them seem to ooc???

Hoo boy anon I gotta say this is a hell of a question sdnfskdjnfs but i will try my best to be at least a little bit helpful in my answer!

[Couple notes: I am just one writer and different things work for different people so what might work for me might not work for you and that's totally okay! Also I'm answering this question under the assumption that you're talking about fanfic but for original characters i think a lot of this advice could still apply too, it's just that you end up making a lot of your own rules rather than following someone else's. And i feel like the answer to this question can also vary per fandom or character as well so just keep that in mind.]

First thing that comes to mind is that what qualifies as "ooc" or "in character" is very subjective and might vary a lot from person to person. So my first piece of advice is to focus on what YOU think is "ooc" rather than anyone else because that's really the only perspective you can know or have control over! as long as you feel you are being genuine to the characters you are trying to write there is bound to be someone out there who vibes with your ideas too.

This might seem kind of like it goes without saying but when it comes to any aspect of your writing you want to get better at, really the best thing to do imo is to practice, practice, practice. It can really help to practice writing while you have a specific thing in mind you want to improve [so in this case characterization] and focus in on that one thing. it's like practicing a piece of music - much more effective to break it down into chunks and pieces rather than trying to practice the whole thing at once.

also just in my personal opinion another way to get better with writing is to read a lot, especially if you're reading specifically with the things you want to improve in mind. So for characterization, when you find a book or a fanfic with characterization you really like it can be helpful to think why you like that characterization and how the writer pulled it off, because knowing what works for you in the things you like to read will help you figure out what works for you in your own writing!

And again this point is my personal opinion, i'm sure different writers have different perspectives on the issue that are totally valid, but for me with my fic I feel like if I focus too much on, like, trying to sound exactly like the character in their dialogue or slang or cadence I get too bogged down with the details and it gets hard to get anything out. especially since a lot of the time i'm writing english fics for fandoms that aren't english-language, which means I'm relying on subs, which means I'm already going off someone else's interpretation of the characters. so for me something I like to keep in mind is to focus less on exactly how the character is saying something and more on their emotions, the substance of what they're saying, how they're reacting to a situation, etc. like i think as long as you get the gist of what makes a character tick, that's what matters most!

When it comes to fandom specifically here are some things I like to pay attention to when I'm trying to figure out the gist of a character:

how they react to different situations in canon [what will they do in response to a stressful situation versus a situation that makes them happy versus an emotionally fraught situation?]

how they express their emotions [do they tend to go silent when overwhelmed or are they more vocal? Do they seem on the more introspective, in touch with their feelings side or do they not have as much self awareness about their emotions?]

how they interact with different people [do they act differently around their close friends vs casual acquaintances? how so?]

if you like analyzing stories and characters like me it can help to come up with your own list of things to pay attention to because I think knowing what's actually important to you in characterization will give you a good starting point to focus on. but if not that's okay too! really what matters is figuring out what works best for you.

Hm... I hope there's at least something in here that will be helpful to you anon?? But let me know if you have any other questions and I'll try my best to be helpful =] also if any of my followers have any other advice to contribute please feel free!!

#answers #i have no idea if any of this is useful but let it be known that i tried skjfnsdkjfnsd #Anonymous #long post

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witchysleepingbeauty · 3 years

Note

Hey, hope you are doing well. You don't have to post this up because this is just an advise to you. I notice your frustration while answering people's questions. If you take a rest from answering asks, and look back to the way you used to answer asks, you will see a difference.

You were so warm, inviting and patient but right now I am seeing annoyance and frustrations. I don't know if you are going through downs in your life right now, if you do, you can always take a break so that you could rest and deal with your current problems first, it's okay to leave things behind to focus on yourself, it's okay to be selfish to let your mind rest.

I get it that you will be frustrated because many people are literally asking the same question that has the same answers. But I believe it's because your Tumblr is getting known, that's why more new people are seeking for help with similar question, and your asks has too much that they can't scroll it down to seek for answers on their own.

I believe you started this Tumblr because you wanted to help others. The fact that you are not doing it for money shows that you have such a kind and pure heart. But I think you gotta be more patient with the new followers. They are anxious and needed motivation, that's why they came here for help. While the beginners just want deeper knowledge to grow.

When you first started this Tumblr to publicly help other, you must have known that you would encounter this kind of problem, because it's literally people worldwide that are using tumblr. Your role to them right now is like a coach. You need to be patient. I may not be able to fully understand your frustrations, but I believe it's like being a teacher. I was a teacher so I know how it feels like to have the students keep forgetting what I used to explain to them. But it's people's nature to forget or get carried away, they just need constant repetition to get used to a new concept.

Just be a little more patient. Calm yourself down before answering, because you aren't only making yourself feel bad, the anonymous would feel bad as well seeing the way you answer their asks, as if it's wrong to ask when they just want to seek for an answer towards their doubts. Some people who are more sensitive towards others feeling may feel your frustrations, it may cause then to not have the courage to ask you anything anymore.

One suggestion to you is that you can always just attach up a link to that asks if you don't feel like repeating the same shit. Because I think it would useful as it has detail explanations that could bring back the anonymous on track without needing to repeat the whole concept to them again.

At the same time letting them know that, the situation may seem different but it all comes down to the same solution.

Okay so this anon felt they wanted to express their opinion. I’m very glad they did because I accept all kinds of feedback and I’d love to talk about this with everyone here.

They are completely right, I got very frustrated yesterday at some point with some asks. The truth is that I want to help everyone and I’m trying to do it free but sometimes people think they can take advantage of this. I do not wish to stop taking asks and answering questions but I completely understand people who do it because it helps them also “filter out” people.

I see some of you that are troubled, that you need help, that you are stuck and you’re genuinely in need of advice, and no matter how repetitive your questions get I always love to answer them and give you all the help I can.

However there are also those who I feel like do not respect neither me or the others who truly need the guidance. I’m trying to make my posts as accessible as possible (If you have to propose something to make my all the information in here even more accessible please do so!) and yet I feel like people just don’t bother to look into the available information, they just go straight for the ask. It’s not the repeating asks that frustrate me, because I know that as time goes by they get pushed down in the blog by the new ones and it’s hard for people to find them. It’s the info that I have collected in my “quick links”.

Guys the post is pinned on the top of my page, I made it to help you find all my important posts and help me not to have to teach law of assumption to every single one of you every time. And these are posts that I have put time and effort in, i would appreciate it so much if you did some reading on your own because then it would feel like you respected my time more and also all the other people that actually bothered to read it, plus it would feel like you were actually invested in this and not just asking a question because you don’t have something better to do.

I get asks from people that legitimately try to change their lives, and it’s very inspiring and beautiful and then I feel like I’m getting asks form people that are bored to make some basic research.

I’m not talking about all of you that have basic questions, I know some of you are just confused because there is a lot of information out there about manifesting between law of Attraction and weird water techniques and limiting beliefs, im very glad to answer even the most basic question as long as I feel like you truly need it. I’m talking about those who truly just don’t bother…

I do not wish to make anyone feel like they shouldn’t send an ask, all I am asking is that you put some effort in before hand, don’t wait for me to answer every question that pops in your mind before making sure I don’t have an entire post elaborating on it. And then even if I do and you feel like your need more clarity or you didn’t understand something by all means feel free to ask!

If anyone would like to add something you are more than welcome to do so!

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cherrysweather · 4 years

Note

hi :D! can I request scenario (or headcanon if easier) of apollo asking out the reader? Maybe the whole office is tired of them not asking each other out after having to deal with their tension. And I love your blog by the way! Sorry for my English :,P

Hi Anon uwu I see that you’re all thirsty with Apollo around here XD I actually find scenarios easier, but I’m so slow with them- So, sorry for the long wait (almost a month, I’m sO SORRY), but here it is uwu (Hope you’ll like it <3) -------------------------------

Apollo Justice asking you out:

The trial ended but Apollo almost lost the case because of the distraction that has afflicted him for days now

“WHAT. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM?!?!” Athena shook his shoulders with tears in her eyes "I’ve felt the heart in my throat more than once today! What do you have these days?!" She was stopped by Apollo, trying to calm himself down.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel like that, I don’t know what’s up wit-” He was interrupted by the noise of the hall’s doors opening.

“Next time you should take something to concentrate and calm yourself down Apollo; otherwise, who will give a lead to them?” He sighed looking at the figure at his side; the one who’s messing Apollo’s head.

“Instead! The way he solved this case really thrilled me, congratulations!” As they smiled, the red-suited lawyer’s face became as red as his clothes

“I-I didn’t do anything special, I only did what I had to” He rushed out the tribunal, hiding his face and starting to return to the office with his feet to ignore the annoying voices of those around him.

For some days, Apollo decided not to take any case to be sure not to do more damage like last time. During this break time he made up his mind; he tried to understand what was wrong with him, slowly understanding that the “what” was, in reality, a “who”. It’s been less than a year since their new colleague joined the agency as an apprentice and recently, even if he knew it, something within prevented him from taking that step forward that would make him make peace with himself; probably because of his inexperience or the fear of being rejected.

“Listen. Go to them with some flowers or any kind of gift you think they may like and tell them! Or... you can take them out for dinner! A date at the beach? Go watch a film with them!” Asking advice to Athena was the worst idea possible.

Apollo started to help them with the preparations for their first case, taking advantage of it to learn to know them better and to gain some confidence in speaking with them. “To understand if a witness is lying, you must learn even just the basics of the art of bluffing! With that, you can also confuse momentarily the accusation and gain time to better reflect if, in the end, the objection leads you to nothing” Whenever he talks about his work, he became so excited with anyone he talks to.

“Ok! So, I must confuse the court if I have some doubts on my argument” They took notes on his advice like a real student.

“W-Well, maybe not the whole court”.

In the end, Athena came with them in court to help with her psychological skills.

“Remember, you’re fine! You and Athena will do great in there!” Phoenix had already taken them away from those two screaming eagles, patting on their shoulders to support them as they entered the courtroom.

“Athena was thinking of going out to dinner together when the verdict will be given and she specifically said that you can’t miss it; you’ll have your chance of asking “your distraction” to go out with you”

Apollo had to contain himself since they were among the public, but he was so close to throwing something to Athena. Even if the last days he finally gained the courage and confidence to talk freely with them, he still had problems with his emotions towards them. Someone will probably die that night.

At the end of the trial, luckily, the verdict was given and also thanks to Athena’s help, it was a “Not Guilty” one.

So, It’s dinner time! The happiness in Athena’s face is adorable. The fear, anxiety, and stomach cramps from the nervous were witnessed by the greenish face of Apollo. Phoenix had to sit between the two to prevent Apollo from stabbing Athena as a revenge for this

“Come on Polly! It will be fun” Athena tried to reassure him, but his head was completely somewhere else, trying to figure out where he was, why he was there and how he got there.

“So.. How I did today? I followed all the tips Apollo gave me last days” Luckily someone broke the silence and as soon as Apollo heard his name, he came back to the real world, remembering everything and feeling the impulse to answer that phrase with the first positive words that came to his mind.

“O-Of course you did great even if the case was simple”

“Don’t mind him, he’s saying things like that just because, with you, he’s the only one who didn’t have a simple case in the agency, not to minimize your efforts” Athena was playing the role of that friend who helps you whenever you say or do something questionable

“...I didn’t mean that”

“W-Well, even if it wasn’t simple, the ability and the courage both Apollo and Mr. Wright had to frame someone like Kristoph Gavin, made that case iconic for beginners like me; it showed all the knowled-”

“Wow, looks like Apollo has a new fan!” As Athena spoke, the faces of the two interested turned red, which made Apollo not so distant from a living version of a painting by Picasso since he already was green.

“I-I’m not! I mean, I have no preference since you’re all talented lawyers in this agency an-”

“Oh god, can you all please eat before it became ice?” Thanks, Phoenix.

During all the dinner, those two stole glances to each other, adding more red tones on their faces whenever their eyes met. Between laughter and stories of the previous cases, the evening flew away and those two weren’t going to step away easily from each other; after they started to speak like normal people, nothing and no one dared to stop them, so they continued to talk even out the restaurant.

“So, I heard that Apollo is such a gentleman that he proposed to bring you back home; am I right?”

“I didn’t say nothing but, if both of them have a heavy butt, it is my pleasure to drive you back home even if the back seat of my bicycle isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world” He tried to act cool, but inside he was panicking, hoping for a yes.

“It’s ok for me, the important is that is ok for you Apollo”

“I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you so, get on” As they left, also Phoenix and Athena got their way home on Phoenix’s bicycle. Apollo opened his mouth only to ask indications for their home, using the remaining time to think about how to vocalize what he felt to finally free himself from this burden.

“It’s this one, you can stop” They got off and took their stuff “Thank you so much for giving me a ride” That last tired smile they painted on their lips, killed him. So much that he couldn’t answer their thanks. “I-I wanted to say something to you but... I guess you’re tired too, so don’t worry, I’ll tell you tomorrow at the office” They hoped for an answer, but all they could see was an ice statue of Apollo “G-Goodnight then”. As they walked toward the door, something waked him up

“W-WAit!” He fell on the ground with the bicycle, getting up and going toward them at the speed of light, almost bumping into them.

“W-What is i-”

“Wait! I-I have to tell you something too, it is now or never, and if I don’t do it I’ll probably die” He tried to catch his breath, but his heart wouldn’t stop beating like a drum.

“Tell me everything, I’m here” They tried to calm him even if they probably were more worried than him, gently patting on his shoulders to reassure him.

“Just, please don’t think I’m some kind of dumbass for acting like this” he gently took their hands in his, looking down to avoid more embarrassment. “I like you. I liked you since the day I saw you for the first time but I only started to understand and accept it some months ago and, these months I could felt that something was happening inside me since I was always distracted, thinking about you, so I was thinking if you wanted to go somewhere together if you wan-” As he looked up, he saw two big teary eyes in front of him, feeling his heart collapse for a moment “Hey! Why are you crying? You can also say no to me, I won’t feel offended or anything, p-please don’t cry!” He squeezed their hands trying to understand what he did wrong to make them feel like that, but their only response was a tight hug for him.

Their head rested on his chest and they freed their hands from his to bring them on his back, holding his jacket with all of their strength. “This is exactly what I wanted to tell you but, you’ve been braver than me I guess” They smiled to reassure him they were in the best mood of their entire life “Of course we can go somewhere together, I would love that too” They wiped the tears away from their eyes, looking at him to have answers

“Y-You would? Really??” You could see smoke coming out of both his ears and head from how heat he was emanating at that moment “I-I mean, I’m perfectly fine with that” He also smiled, feeling a lot lighter inside, but trembling with emotions on the outside.

They took the situation in her hands, literally, taking his face with them and pushing it towards them to reach his lips with theirs.

WARNING WARNING WARNING

A volcano is about to erupt

It took him around two minutes of small kisses to calm himself down, feeling happiness instead of fear and embarrassment in every spot of his body. “S-So-”

“Don’t say anything, we’ll talk about it tomorrow” They probably wanted to kill him

“T-Tomorrow?”

“It’s late and we need to be at the office on time tomorrow” They cuddled his cheeks, laughing at his mortified face

“I guess you’re right. We also need to be efficient tomorrow, I should go” Hesitating, he freed their hands and turned towards the bicycle, still on the ground, to lift it.

“Thanks for today, from the trial to now and also for the days when you taught me everything I needed to know to win”

“I just did what I had to” He got on the bicycle again and turned back to wave his hand at them before the road for home.

“'Night and please be careful on the street! Love you!” They was just trying to mess up with him, and it worked since Apollo fell again from the bicycle for the sudden attack to the heart.

“A-Apollo!” Someone must save that poor boy for good this time.

Please.

#ace attorney #apollo justice #apollo justice x reader #ace attorney imagines #apollo justice ace attorney

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goldenlionimagines · 4 years

Note

I don’t know if requests are open (if not then feel free to ignore) can I get Hubert with a artistic clumsy female s/o please thank you for your amazing writing

thank you for calling our writing amazing! Mod Bunny will take this one for you anon!

Feelings

Word Count: 1,508

“Ah!” Y/N stumbled walking into the Black Eagle classroom again. Not only that, but she was late... again.

Edelgard turned from from her seat in the front to check on the poor girl, and Byleth looked as she hadn’t even begun teaching. Y/N’s books were across the floor around her, including her sketchbook which she quickly grabbed. “Y/N, are you okay? Allow me to help-”

“I can help her, Lady Edelgard.” Said Y/N’s favorite person in the whole academy.

Hubert Von Vestra seemed to hate Y/N since day one, so it was no surprise she had begun to dislike him in return. Y/N didn’t have a crest, but she was of a Noble enough family to be allowed into the academy. Hubert seemed to be under the impression that she would one day serve Lady Edelgard. He would always comment on her sloppy magic form, or weak spell casting.

He grabbed her books for her, putting them next to where he had been sitting. The only open desk. Today really wasn’t her day.

As the professor ended the class, Hubert, for whatever reason, felt the need to say something to her. “You should be more vigilant. A few moments later, and you would have found yourself interrupting the lecture. If you weren’t so clumsy, maybe you could-”

She stood straight up, both annoyed and frustrated. “What is wrong with you? Unlike you, not all of us have such a military set mind. When is it gonna get to you that all this training just isn’t for me? I keep trying to be nice to you, Hubert. But it’s hard when you’re never as nice to me.” She grabbed her books, and she stormed off.

“Hubert.” Edelgard approached him, about to be upset at him for hurting Y/N’s feelings, but paused. “Wait, why do you look so hurt? You’re the one who always seems to hurt Y/N...”

“Edie, isn’t it obvious? Our own Hubie seems to have a crush on the lovely Y/N.” Dorothea interjected. She had a smile on her face, as Hubert’s own cheeks turned a shade of crimson. He didn’t know that anyone knew, especially not someone as loud of Dorothea.

“Hubert, is that true? Do you have feelings for Y/N?” Edelgard asked.

Ferdinand also joined in on the conversation. “Oh, it’s true alright. I’ve seen him watching her spar, and even smiling while he does. It is a sight to behold.” Hubert wanted to avoid a conversation such as this. He had been careful, but apparently not careful enough.

“It is true, Lady Edelgard. I hold feelings for Y/N. I simply... seem to be at a loss for words when I talk to her. And, as you may have seen, it is becoming quite an issue.” He said. “Normally, I would have asked to have seen her at the Goddess Tower tomorrow night. However, the more I say, the more daunting of a task it becomes.”

“Aww, Hubie, I see now.” Dorothea said. He had not wanted the brunette’s pity, or her small laughter. “I am sorry to laugh, but I never thought I would see you in such a state.”

“I know!” Edelgard said. “Why don’t the three of us help you at tomorrow night’s ball?”

“Indeed.” Ferdinand agreed. “Why don’t you allow a noble, a princess, and an opera woman to help you? Who would be better suited for such a task?”

Hubert felt inclined to accept their offer, but only because of Lady Edelgard.

He had to get away from them. The three had been contradicting each other in advice, and he hadn’t even seen Y/N that evening. He was going to go to the Goddess Tower, which was sure to be empty by now. He could finally be alone, and away from the stress his classmates had been putting on him.

“No, that’s not right either.” He heard a familiar voice. Was this where she had been? But, why would she be in the Goddess Tower?

“Y/N, what a surprise to see you here. Are you waiting for someone?” Hubert asked, finally getting a chance to see her. She looked stunning in her dress, and she had even done her hair. She was always beautiful, but tonight, as she sat with her back against the wall, and a small canvas in her lap, She was stunning.

“Waiting for someone? No, not me. No one would ever ask me.” She laughed. “What about you? I’m sure some girls would love to be with someone so close to Lady Edelgard.”

“No, not me either. I was simply hoping to find some quiet, away from the ball.” He smiled at her. “Also, I do not understand why you would doubt that people wished to ask you here. On the contrary, I suspect those who wished to ask were simply too daunted to try.”

She looked up at him, seeing his small smile. “Well, thank you Hubert. It means... quite a bit coming from you. I seem to really be nothing but a failure recently, even as you’ve stated.” She said. “I want to grow, but I can’t seem to.” She then paused, looking back down at her painting.

Hubert, despite the pounding in his chest, sat down next to the H/C girl. “I am actually glad no one asked you here, as it gives me this time to speak with you candidly. I believe the words I have spoken have made you believe you are less than.” He said. “What I have truly been trying to tell you is that, unlike some of our classmates, what you can do could be extraordinary if you focused in on it. But, instead, you choose to focus on art. While I cannot agree with it, I have come to the conclusion that your art is more than enough. Or, rather, your art itself is extraordinary already.”

Until that night, Y/N hadn’t known that Hubert could be so kind. They talked in that tower until Hubert fell asleep next to her, which was something no one had expected.

-6 Years Later-

Y/N had been living alone. She hadn’t fought in the war, but instead served as a diplomat for Emperor Edelgard. She ended up leaving her art all across Fodlan. Sometimes Hubert would find her art and stare at it. Sometimes he would write her letters, and she would reply.

His favorite was when he would get to visit her.

Today, Lady Edelgard herself had sent him to see her. Now, that the war was over, Y/N was needed in some places where she had befriended the Lords more than ever. Apparently, she had not been responding to the Emperor at all, so when Hubert knocked at her door, he was annoyed.

She opened it, happy and smiling, paint all over her. “Ah, Hubert, I had a feeling you might be coming for me. Did Edelgard send you?” She asked, leaving the door open and walking away to the inside of her house. It had been her father’s, where she now lived alone.

“She did. She said you have not been responding to her summons? You haven’t been responding to my letters, either. Now that the war is over, we need you more than ever to help with Government and Diplomacy.” He said, he followed her to the back of the house, where there was a large canvas with a sheet over it. “What is this?”

“It’s the reason I haven’t been responding. My masterpiece.” She said. “Can you just... take a look for me? I really want you to see it.” Hubert was going to object, but she quickly pulled the sheet off before he could.

Before him was a painting that shocked him. It was of him, speaking to his battalion before one of his battles. It was one of things he had actually enjoyed doing during the war. Now it was here, a painting entrancing him in full color. “I- well it’s-”

“Do you like it? It’s one of the things I had gotten to see you do, right outside Derdriu. When I left, I sketched it out on a piece of parchment so I could paint it once I came home.” She said. “And I can rest now, knowing it’s done.”

He turned to her, taking her hands and looking in her eyes. “I suppose there is something we can work out here. That being, the issue of you and I.”

“The issue? Why is there an issue? Has it really been so long since I responded-” Hubert did something that surprised even himself. He cut her off by locking lips with her, his cheeks deeply crimson.

“I love you. I know that I can, and that I want to protect you. I just don’t know if I can be a good husband.” He said, embarrassed. “In fact, I didn’t even bring you a ring.”

She smiled brightly. “Why don’t we just get married, and then we can figure everything else out?”

He smiled back, and then, they were both at peace.

~Mod Bunny

#fe3h #hubert von vestra #fe3h hubert #fanfic #x reader #hubert x reader

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kethsi · 4 years

Note

I've been playing RS for around 15 years. I have no skills at 99. What can I do?

(There’s a TL;DR at the end if you’re in a hurry) One thing before I address the question itself - wow. From the bottom of my heart, WOW. You’re here for longer than most of us, anon. Remember you can put us all to shame by incorporating any old holiday outfits into your fashionscape. If you weren’t into events back then, slap on the 15 years cape you buy from Hans - it’s far more impressive to see than another max or 120 cape. Overall, remember that RuneScape’s a game. It’s here for your entertainment. You don’t need 99s to enjoy your favourite aspects of it or make some money. Now - here’s a few things to keep in mind when deciding on a course of action: Levels of Interest - you have to ask yourself which 99s you want, and which skills you’re willing to put up with. Some people hate dungeoneering, some hate agility, there’s even a weirdo here and there who hates combat (me. I’m that weirdo). Consider which one you’d want as your first 99. This is a moment I wish I could come back to and change myself. Which untrimmed cape is most appealing to you? Attack? Prayer? Slayer? Fishing? Herblore? Agility? Maybe one I haven’t mentioned here that belongs to your favourite skill? Do you intend to keepsake the cape once you get it to keep that memory? Or would a couple of screenies be enough? If that doesn’t matter to you, test some exp rates in different skills and simply work towards the fastest one you find. Try two or three different methods for each skill you know you dislike and ask yourself if you can see yourself wanting to dedicate any time to those methods at all. The biggest/best known ones are on the RuneScape Wiki. It’s always worth a look. Remember you can alternate between them so even if you like something, there’s no shame in training other skills instead of, for example, jumping around on an agility course for too many hours a day in a row. Ask yourself why you want to max a skill - Is it about some specific skill you know you’d be proud of until the other capes are within your grasp? Is one of the skills speaking to you emotionally/represents some dream job you would’ve liked? Is it about the Fashionscape? If it’s any of those, that’s completely fine. Creating your own neat memory of the first skill you chose to master is a lot of fun and is an excellent reason to go for it. But if it’s RuneScape being too well known for the “CAPE” part of its name, that’s an old meme. Some people feel the need to level simply because Jagex is keeping some of its new content behind higher-level doors, which is annoying as it’s Jagex’s own doing but if it does play a role, please remember to take a step back and remember this is an unfair element of the game design that isn’t very friendly to those of us who don’t chase exp at all costs. You don’t have to feel pressured if unbalanced game design is a big part of what pushes you to “fix” something about your character that isn’t broken at all. Prioritize your health - If you have work/classes that you’re tired after, a physical condition (especially with your hands/arms/back) that prolonged sitting and clicking around may worsen, ADHD or any other mental condition that makes long repetitive/boring tasks you hate seriously affect your mental state, or even if it’s “just” annoying/exhausting, these things can build up, so avoid the methods. What people forget about runescape is that there’s always more than one way to gain exp in stuff. “wasting” exp by taking breaks or doing fun stuff is the most fun thing to do in this game. Take it from me, procrastinating hard enough to drop my gainz rate to negligible is one of the only reasons I didn’t feel a burnout with this game. Distractions&Diversions (”activities”) - Several skills offer quicker bursts of exp/bonuses that make gaining exp easier for a short while. Familiarize yourself with them. For Divination, there’s Guthixian Caches. For Dungeoneering, there’s sinkholes. For Hunter, there’s Big Chinchompa. For Agility, there’s the Serenity Posts in the Hefin district in Prif. For Mining and Woodcutting there’s shooting stars and evil trees respectively. For Farming and Prayer (with slight exp in Dungeoneering and Mining too) there’s Nemi Forest. There’s also the Wild Jade vine for slight Farming&Slayer exp. All of the above are dailies, some can even be done twice a day. There’s also the weekly Skeletal Horror for some Slayer&Prayer exp, and God Statues for Construction (and a choice between Prayer and Slayer), if you need it. There’s also the weekly Tears of Guthix that raises your lowest skill, Circus for Magic, Ranging and some Agility (thieving&firemaking depending on what quests you did). Remember you don’t need to do all of these in a day or a week. My goal wasn’t to overwhelm you or make you feel like you need to do everything, I just want you to be aware of your options. YOU choose the skill to get EXP in - Continuing with d&ds/ activities, there are some that let you choose which skill you want your exp to go to. There’s Penguin Hide&Seek, every week, Agoroth which does the same after you fight it, Troll invasion which gives you more exp in a skill of your choice once a month. There’s also the Jack of Trades Aura - the best Aura in the game - that gives you daily exp (more exp the higher your level and the better the aura tier). These (along with Nemi Forest) are the ones I’d recommend if you have limited time and can choose only a few activities. There’s also Stealing Creation, which allows you to use your points to choose from a not unlimited, but wide enough range of skills to give yourself bonus EXP in (unfortunately it DOES take a long time to accumulate points in this minigame, so only do it if you actually find it enjoyable and have time to spare). This brings us to- Bonus EXP - Notoriously given by Jagex daily from Treasure Hunter and usually used to diminish people’s suffering leveling the slowest skills in the game or bankruptcy leveling the most expensive ones, pick the skill or two you know you hate the most and dump all of the prismatic stuff you get into it. Alternatively, you can put it all in the one skill you want to get 99 in first. Proteans and training dummy crates are in the same category. You usually get a choice what you want to use them for. I recommend making it after you’ve seen which skills are easier or more difficult for you. If you’re taking a stance against the whole thing or are playing on an ironman account now, more power to you and feel free to disregard this. Still, Stealing Creation is also a source of bonus EXP as mentioned above. So you can always use that, too. Quests - if you don’t have all of the quests in the game complete yet, check the RS wiki for the Experience Rewards you get from quests. I added a link for your viewing pleasure. Usually Master or Grandmaster quests you haven’t finished yet would either give neat chunks of EXP that can level you up in a skill or two, or a “choose your own gainz” lamp. Some might have an added exp bonus post-quest after you’ve reached a certain level. Sliske’s Endgame (I know, I know, big yikes), The World Wakes and While Guthix Sleeps, Children of Mah and the last of the Myreque quests provide some of the best “choose your own EXP” in the game for their completion. Always worth taking a look, maybe you haven’t done one or two of them yet. Get another opinion - Talk to friends or clanmates. Ask them what methods they’d recommend for any particular skill. Training cooking? maybe they just found the one fish in the game that can be bought raw for relatively cheap today. Training Summoning? maybe your clan follows patch notes and hidden updates and they’ve noticed some monsters drop crimson charms more often. Training Farming? Many wonderful people would lend or give you breeding pairs of animals you can breed and raise at Manor Farm. Hell, I can give you some animals myself if you want them. Chinchompas are the cutest thing since baby geckos and I have breeding pairs to spare!

TL;DR

1. Choose the skills you have the patience, mental and physical health for or the one you want to get 99 in the most 2. Compare training methods for those skills, using the RS wiki and your friends’ advice. Feel free to try some and find out what works best for you. 3. Get to training. Remember to take lots of breaks or alternate between skills or methods when necessary. 4. Distractions and Diversions are your friends. Especially the weekly/monthly ones that give you the direct choice of skill to dump exp in (Penguin Hide&Seek, Agoroth, Troll invasion). Also, Jack of Trades aura. It adds up like you would not believe. 5. Dump your bonus EXP in either the first skill you want to max, or the one/s you know you don’t have the patience for training. 6. If all else fails, check your quest list for any grandmaster quests you haven’t done yet. Maybe training the skills you’re “missing” for these quests will give you some feeling of set goal in the meantime. The rewards will push you a bit closer when you’re done. 7. This is a game. At the end of the day, if anyone tries to shame you or bring you down for not having a 99 in some skill, Buy the most expensive seniority cape Hans will Sell you and let the cape-obsessed noobs know you have unlocked the most important aspect of the game: Having actual fun in it for more time than they have.

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best-science-dad-tony · 5 years

Note

Are you all still active? And do you accept oc rp accounts or only canon based ones?

((Oh boy.

So here’s the thing...I’m probably not going to give these blogs quite the attention I did in the beginning, and I should explain why because you all deserve that.

At first, I didn’t think these things would go anywhere. I figured they’d be fun to play around with, banter, get some jokes in and see a few likes, maybe a reblog or two. But then they started gaining traction, and before I knew it, people were invested in my silly little accounts.

I wrote down a quick sketch of a plot and some ground rules for myself, rules that I intended to follow. I essentially wrote a post-Endgame story before Endgame after I saw Infinity War incorporating the elements I wanted to see in the next movie. At the time I was one person. No one was helping me. I knew I wanted to tell a story you all could participate in and enjoy, and to do that I thought it was best if I laid out a groundwork for myself on ways to do that. Things like resolving to answer every Ask, even if it was just to warn the person to stop what they were doing. To adopt every kid (at first that wasn’t on Anon but then I gave in). To give you guys Milestone rewards as thank yous, because even when I just hit fifty subscribers on Tony’s blog, I was ecstatic and appreciated you all so much, and felt like you deserved something so I could show you my gratitude. Unfortunately, before they went up...someone forced me to use one I wasn’t expecting. Literally right after I had made the rule for myself.

I told myself that if anyone found an Infinity Stone, it would be the one Tony had.

The Soul Stone.

I needed the Soul Stone for the plot to work, but I needed Tony to have a safety precaution around it too since Thanos was (is?) still alive. I told myself that if someone found out Tony had the Stone and wasn’t supposed to, he would have a way to protect it. So I had to use the solution I gave him: FRIDAY sending the Stone to an unknown planet with one of the Iron Man suits and promptly wiping her databanks of its location so Thanos or anyone else would be unable to find it.

So someone found an Infinity Stone...and it was just...gone. Before I’d figured out how Tony would get it back.

My fellow Admins all know this. I can’t begin to tell you how many discussions I’ve had with them trying to write myself out of this hole. Usually, I’m pretty good at getting characters out of seemingly impossible situations...but I haven’t come up with anything that feels believable, that I feel like justifies the plot I have in mind or really respects the characters and who they are.

Normally I would have just gotten rid of the plot point of the Soul Stone being lost completely...but this isn’t an unfinished chapter in my Google Docs. It already happened. I can’t change it.

I don’t know if you guys have read Mercy by Stephen King or watched the movie, but it makes an excellent point that I strongly agree with:

Annie Wilkes : When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.

Paul Sheldon : [nodding] Cliffhangers.

Annie Wilkes : [shouting] I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

Paul Sheldon : [long pause] They always cheated like that in cl... chapter plays.

I don’t want to cheat you all. As arrogant as it might sound, I think I’m a better writer than that. And you all certainly deserve better than that.

When I went to see Endgame (in full Tony Stark cosplay, might I add), I hoped to find inspiration to continue. And let’s just say that ending killed a part of me and I’m still dealing with nightmares and panic attacks over it. My mom asked me if I wanted an Avengers cake for my 22nd birthday and I burst into tears. I just...I can’t handle it right now.

But I recently got my inspiration back for this plot. I remembered how much I loved my ideas, the little timeline I had laid out for myself. I remembered how much fun it was for Tony and Stephen to interact with their kids, for Thor and Loki to talk to Midgardians. I remembered how much fun it was to use obscure ships. And I want to do it. For those reasons, I want to come back to it. I want to see that plot through to the end of the line, whatever that may be.

So I’ve added some elements, and I’ve decided to go in with firmer rules than I had at the beginning, where I would let anyone tell Tony and Stephen “yeah, so...I’ve been stabbed, ‘sup with you guys lol”.

The catch is...it won’t be on these blogs.

It would mean going through everything on them and pretending it didn’t happen, which hardly seems fair, especially when so many people still like and reblog some of my more popular posts. It doesn’t seem fair to just throw all of that away.

Like I said, I don’t want to cheat you, and doing that feels like cheating to me.

So instead I’m starting over. I’m in the process of setting up new blogs, a new Discord server, and I’m working with my Admins to put these new blogs into place.

The other big twist is...I won’t be advertising them here.

I don’t want you all to think I don’t value and appreciate all your kindness and support.

But I don’t want you all to join those new blogs just because I made a joke on Bucky’s account (in this set of blogs) that you liked. I want you to join because you’re invested, because you enjoy the interactions, because you like my writing for what it is and not just because it’s me typing it. It’s the same reason I have a separate AO3 account I never share.

I feel proud when people come to these blogs and see Tony confronting Steve and find out I was writing both of them, not bouncing off a fellow Admin.

I hope I don’t sound ungrateful. I’m swear not. But I want the new blogs to earn their following just like these did. You all saw something in these blogs, whether it was a joke, some advice; something that meant something to you. Maybe you saw family. Maybe you saw a friend. I don’t know. But I sincerely hope that whatever it was, I earned that follow from you. That I earned those likes and reblogs of my own volition.

All I ask of you is if you want to see where these new blogs will go, if you want to follow them, if you find them, please, don’t spoil what will happen for any newcomers who join the ranks. Certain plotpoints will carry over. I want any new fans to be as invested and surprised as you were.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you where the plot moved if you can’t find it and you want to know the big picture. Maybe you’ll just unfollow me or ignore the fact that I’m working on something else.

But I’m not going to just up and abandon these blogs. For a long time, they meant something to me, and at least to some of you. They’ll stay up, and I’ll answer your asks and engage with you. I can’t speak for the other Admins. But with me, you’ll always have someone to message, even if I take forever. But no more nitty-gritty plot. We’ll say Thanos got tired of holding Quill prisoner and fucked off somewhere. These blogs are now just for lighthearted family fun.

This is a long-winded rant to say that yes, I am still active in some ways, and I’m not in others.

As for OC accounts, they have always been welcome, but they don’t get put on the Masterlist or get OC-centric plots. Just be sure to follow certain rules- like Tony having no biological children.

I’m sorry for the rant.

TL;DR: I’m making new blogs to write this plot as I originally intended, but these will stay up and you can message them (at least mine). Also, OCs are cool and always welcome. ~Admin Chara))

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