#if only i could go back in time and enjoy my childhood without the abuse and the pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1-800-local-slut · 3 months

Text

Decisions

Rio x Black! Fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, sad ending, lies and deceit, mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, broken family, break ups, arguing, reader has a bad mom, mention of smut, kinda creepy Rio, abusive childhood, suicidal thoughts, recreational drug use, mentions of sex but no smut, Rio calls Beth annoying but make no mistake I love me some Beth, slight canon divergence, not proof read we die like men 💪🏾

Rio get’s close to the reader, due to him having an issue with her mother. He falls for her and they start dating but 8 months into their relationship she finds out the first six months of their relationship was a lie. She realizes she can’t trust him and dumps him.

PSA: The reader has an abusive mother and no father, there's only one mention of the reader getting punched in the face. If that's something that would trigger you then please don't read for your own sake

Please let me know if you guys enjoy!

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

When he saw her for the first time, it was dark out. She was standing under the streetlight, waiting for her bus and Rio was standing in the bushes behind her. The light above made her luminescent, giving her dark skin and gorgeous glow. He didn't even know why it shocked him to see her there. He had been waiting for her after all.

It was a chilly April night, she was shivering. Rubbing her hands together and exhaling a puff of cold air. He even remembered thinking that it was weird how cold it was for April. She held her phone in her hand, her headphones lightly bled music. Rio could've stared at her all day, if only he wasn't here on business.

He needed to put some pressure on someone and this was how it needed to be done. Stepping out of the bush, Rio slid close to the target of the evening.

His eyes scanned her up and down, looking for some sort of entry point. She didn't notice him, he wasn't standing too close to her yet. With a final scan, he noticed the Jordan high tops that hugged her feet. Perfect.

Taking another step, a bigger step, he made sure his presence was known. Her eyes glanced up at him, a natural response. She carefully observed him, like she was deciding if she should take a large step away or just ignore him. The leaking music shut off and Rio fought back a smile. Best not to freak her out. It was time to finally put things into motion.

"Those shoes are nice, I was looking for a pair for my cousins quince gift but I couldn't find any in her size." Of course there was no way to start a conversation with a woman this late at night in t he middle of nowhere waiting for a bus without sounding like a creep but Rio was pressed for time.

She raised an eyebrow, and glance him up and down before she glanced at the time. Checking how much time before the bus came, smart.

"Thanks. I picked them up last week." Curt and to the point. Rio admired how quickly she went on the defense.

"They suit you. The color I mean. If you don't mind can I ask where you brought those? I just moved here, and I don't know where anything is." Her plump lips pushed into a straight line as if she was contemplating.

Mentally, he willed her to just go for it. Just take the bait, so the guy he had in the bushes who was about to take a few pictures for evidence could get something.

"Yeah, you just have to head to the store on 83rd. There's a place called Sole Symphony. You can get a good deal if you talk to the right person.

"Oh I passed that place on my drive in. I'm Rio, by the way." Extending his palm, Rio heard the bus pulling up behind them. Sure, he knew her name already. But what if he wanted to know more than just her name?

As she placed her hand in his and said her name, the doors of the bus slid open behind the two.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"Baby what do you want to eat?" She was leaning on the arm of the couch, while Rio rested his head on her lap. Clad in one of Rio's black t-shirts, and a pair of his boxers that outlined that ass he worshipped. Under the lights of her living room, she still looked radiant.

"What, you can't cook?" Rio teased, only to be playfully swatted on his head.

"Stop being annoying, I'm ordering dinner because someone's stupid self forgot to go to the grocery store."

"I forgot to go because you wanted to play around all day, so had to I come home and handle business." Rio smiled, a true smile. A smile he hadn't had in a really really long time. She giggled and bent her face closer to his, and hummed. She rubbed her thumb over his forehead, in a way that made Rio shudder.

"I only did that because you finished all my weed and then got me the wrong strain. So maybe that's your fault?" Rio rolled his eyes playfully, and accepted the soft kiss she planted on his lips.

It filled him with a warm, thick feeling. If someone made love into soup, it was filling his stomach at this very moment. Giving him a full, heavy feeling that Rio never wanted to lose. After a second they pulled apart and Rio stared deeply into her eyes. She did the same, like she could see Rio baring his soul to her.

Every now and again though, he remembered though that this was merely temporary. He never, and he cannot stress how much he means never, let himself fall for someone he was using for business. Still, some rules were meant to be broken.

Whenever he remembered that fact, when he remembered that once his debt was settled with her mother (the whole reason he approached her at that bus station in the first place), his heart died a bit.

The past four months had been nothing but a mix of stress and bliss. Stress, the stress of accidentally hurting the person who broke into his heart. Bliss, from laying with her just like this. Every night, or going to dinner with her. How six months could change a man so much was beyond him. Just being with her, even if it was technically for leverage. Though he would never hurt her.

Still, if she knew, it would hurt her more than anything. It would be like a knife, piercing her heart before twisting and causing her to bleed out unstoppably.

Realistically, speaking anyone would be. If you knew your drug addict mother got herself in too deep and your boyfriend was only with you for leverage against her, you'd be pretty cut up about it, wouldn't you?

The drug addict mother, who started exhibiting psychotic jealousy at what seemed like the moment you turned 12 , and who punched you in the mouth after you refused to be nice to her new boyfriend, who you fought so hard to get away from after your nightmare of a childhood? Who told you everyday that not only were you not shit but you'd never be shit? The mother you don't even tell people you have, like the father you never met?

How would you feel to find out that after fighting your entire life just to live a life that wasn't filled with filth, bearing your entire being to someone (the only one who knew the truth), that finally when you found happiness none of it was real? All because of the mother who you don't even acknowledge, after fighting tooth and nail to get as far as you could from, was still giving you grief.

It killed Rio to know all of this too. To see the scars that she trusted him enough to explain. To explain why she's afraid to have children of her own, to understand what made her into the beautiful, strong and confident woman she turned into too. How could Rio hurt someone who accepted him so wholly?

It made him sick to think about. Honestly, he felt like a toxic rapper who does his woman wrong and everyone but her seems to know. He felt like the definition of shit.

"...be?"

"Huh?"

"Is thai food alright with you, babe?"

"Yeah. Yeah sorry I just dosed off for a moment." Just like that, her voice was like a light shinning through the dark. Her face reflected concern, and she ran a manicured nail over his cheek. On instinct he clasped her hand in his.

"What's wrong with you?" Her voice an even whisper. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her literally everything, and he meant everything. Everything about himself, not the partly fabricated tale he told her about his life for the sake of keeping her at an arms length.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Rio gave a small chuckle.

"Nah just thinking about you mamas." Rio smirked up at her and saw her playful eye roll.

"Boy, if you don't do something with yourself." She laughed with a the smile he'd fallen in love with, pinching him on his chest and he winced before letting out a laugh. Rio grabbed his pants from the side of the couch where he hastily threw them when he came home to 'handle business'. Pulling out his wallet, he plucked his credit card out of the folds. He chuckled and handed it to her, where it was gracefully accepted. Within seconds, Rio felt like he could feel the money being pulled from his heart and his card.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, you keep an ear out for the food." She announced, slipping out from underneath him and leaving his head to connect with the couch.

"Without me though?" He watched her walk out of the living room and to her bathroom, sliding the boxers off in the process. If anything she was relentless in her desire to tease him.

"Don't be gross." She chastised, tossing her shirt off behind her and Rio admired her perfect body before she was out of sight and the door behind her closed.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"Flowers?" Beth raised an eyebrow at the large bundle in the back of his car. Rio glanced back, the flowers and immediate reminder of what was waiting for him right after this. He couldn't even fight the grin. This girl had him feeling butterflies, kicking his feet and giggling when she wasn't even there and it was only eight months.

"For my lady." It was Fall now. The changing leaves reminded Rio of his changing heart, his changing mind. How he changed so much in the last eight months in so many ways that he couldn't even describe.

Coming up on their eight month anniversary and Rio wasn't even close to playing when it came to celebrating. That big ass bouquet was just the first part. He had a pair of matching necklaces for the two of them, a set of twin cuban links with a nice romantic saying, 'Semper Fidelis' (Always Faithful) carved into them.

Especially since his relationship with Beth had been a recent source of anger between the two. In all fairness, Rio told her he was involved in the stock market, which technically wasn't a lie. She knew he did something illegal though and didn't seem to care as long as neither of them got arrested.

What he didn't explain was what a big tittied white woman was doing calling his phone in the middle of the night and why she sounded so upset when she answered instead of him. Or why there were so many calls between the two of them when Rio was at work when Rio requested she don't blow his phone up when he's at work. Or why when he came home early to have lunch with her he had to leave in the middle because Beth had been blowing his phone up during their entire meal.

Honestly though, Rio knew better than to trip about it. Shit, Rio knew he wasn't even feeling Beth's annoying ass like that. If it was him, some dude called his girl in the middle of the night then had the audacity to sound annoyed when HE answered the phone? He would've flown off the handle before the call even hung up. He'd be out of bed, pulling up his pants and boxers, grabbing his gun and his keys and half way into his shoes.

"You have a girlfriend?" Beth asked, eyes bugging out of her head, mouth open in shock. Why did she look like a salmon?

"You sound shocked. I got game, Elizabeth. Anyways, about your issue tell your FBI man that I hit or whatever." Pushing down the button, she still sat there gaping at him.

"What...?" She blinked, hushing her voice as if someone was gonna hear them. Part of him wanted to tell her to get the fuck out so he could get the fuck home. But in the past eight months, he learned how to have a bit more patience.

"Tell him we made love." Wiggling his eyebrows he made a motion for her to get out of his vehicle and she made her way out. Thank God.

Turning on his engine he winded down the window of the passenger window.

"Make me sound good." And with that he was gone.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

As crazy and inebriated as her momma was for most of her childhood, sometimes she was smart. Like when she taught her how to fight when those girls at school wanted to jump her. Like when she taught her and her sisters to never and she meant NEVER leave your sister in a pinch no matter whats going on between you three. When she taught her how to hot wire a car, and especially when to know if a man was lying.

There were more life lessons, like how to make a crack pipe on the go or how to hide from the police but what can you really learn from someone who was drunk as shit most of your life?

So imagine how shocked and confused she was when she realized 'dang. my momma was right, all niggas are liars.' because her boyfriend had been lying to her their entire relationship? Was it lying or omission? Was she gonna pack her shit and leave without a word to his no-good-low-down-lying-scheming-dirty-bastard self, or put hands on him and go to jail? Lots of decisions for a girl to make in one night. One thing she did decide on the moment she got that phone call from her mom this morning, and got those photos that were taken that first night they met: it was over.

She wished all she felt was anger but that was a lie. With Rio, no Christopher, things were easy. She really was in love, he made her heart swell up like a balloon. When she was at her worse, he was right there and understood and helped her in the best way he could. Understood her anger, understood her sadness. Whatever choice she made, he stood behind it no matter what. He wasn't the type of guy (maybe he could've been, it was clear that she had no clue who he really was) to just sit there and act like he always knew better than you. No, he listened to her, gave her an ear and when she asked for it advice.

This hurt. This wasn't just sadness and betrayal, it was despair. To know that after she fought to get away from her mother. After she got up, walked out that house with nothing but the clothes on her back and said 'if i'm homeless i'm homeless, but its better than being with you' and never saw her again it was only because of that woman that she met someone who she was so head over heels for.

Because of that woman she was sitting here, heart broken. She was sitting here, after sobbing her eyes out in disbelief, after deleting every single picture of the two out of her phone. She was sitting here drowning in rage and betrayal. No. No for once, she couldn't put all the blame on her.

Christopher made the choice to play in her face. He made the choice to waste eight months of her life. To lie, and say he loved her like would be the only woman for him. He probably was cheating on her with that white bitch (with a name like Elizabeth she had to be) and they were probably laughing at her for the past eight months cuddled up together. He made the choice and she fell for it. Outside, the lights of his car pulling up roused some sort of rage deep inside of her. A little voice in her head spoke, it said take a bottle to the backside of his head.

Taking the bottle of liquor next to her, and rearing her arm back over her head she pondered if she was really going to listen to that little voice.

It an easy decision to make.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"You stupid fuck! Really Christopher, this is what we on?" The scream, and the bottle hitting the wall right next to the door was his greeting. Not a 'hi baby, how was work' like usual. He could already guess he was not about to hit tonight.

"What the fuck? What is your problem?" He yelled back, in this instance he was justified in his screaming considering the murder attempt.

"My problem? My problem? You dickhead, your my fucking problem! You thought shit was sweet? You thought I was just gonna let it slide?" She laughed, anger literally rolling off her.

Taking a moment to look around Rio noticed a few things: the photo of them that was on the table next to her couch was tipped over, the glass shattered the frame on the ground. There was a half empty bottle of wine and a broken glass in the sink. There was a manilla folder, one that he was praying he didn't recognize (but he was starting to think he did), clutched in her shaking hand. Her curly hair was a mess, like she'd been tugging at it in anger.

Sure he knew she'd always been a little bit crazy, he was actually really into it, but did he think this was how their eighth anniversary would start? Nope.

His stomach started to drop. It had been a few months since his business with her mother ended and he was truly hoping from the bottom of his heart hoping she would never find out. He ruled out her mother somehow finally worrying about her enough to tell her.

"What is that?" Rio asked, slamming the door behind him and stepping into the apartment fully. Her neighbors only needed to hear the first part of their exchange, nothing more. She took three defiant steps backwards. The lights were all off, and only the TV was on.

"Got this in the fucking mail today." She growled, throwing the packet at his face. Clear as day, the pictures he had taken of them. For proof. One the first night they met, two on their first date, three when they went to the arcade together and played every game you both could manage and he found himself really trying to impress her. That was when he realized her had a bit of a problem. Then a few more, but eventually they stop after the first two months of their relationship.

The next four months of them being together he resorted to threats and by some miracle her mother found a way to pay off her debts and he was done with her by month six. But not using her for only two out of eight months of their relationship was not a good look.

An awkward silence settled over the two, his stomach feeling heavy. He started to feel warm from shame and fear. The room felt like it was spinning and his mouth felt dry. Even before she said it he knew that he just lost the best thing in his life.

"And some phone calls. Not only did you fucking use me, you also threatened my mom and found my sisters houses?! You dickhead, I'll kill you." She roared, throwing a near by object, which he narrowly dodged.

"Why did you play in my fucking face? For eight fucking months you decided to play in my face and be laid up with me and act like you love me, are you serious?" His head hung low, shame and disappointment and anger. Anger because he knew one thing for sure, this was no ones fault but his. He made the decisions he made. That was on no one but him.

"What you can't fucking talk now? You don't know words? But when that hoe Beth called you could sit up on the phone with her about bullshit right?" She yelled. Rio couldn't even find words. Where should he even start? Beth seemed like the worse place to start.

"Right?" She yelled again, getting in his face before stepping back and breaking into deranged laughter putting a hand on her forehead in outrage. He was panicking. What did he do? Yell at her when he knew he was wrong? Yell at himself for hurting her? What was he even supposed to do in a situation like this? A dry and tear-filled laugh shook him from his thoughts.

"Why though? Why did you do this, I trusted you. I gave you my heart, I gave you my fucking everything. If you can't trust you, then what can I trust?!" The broken sob cut through Rio like a knife. She threw her arms out and drunkenly staggered a bit. She stared, eyes pleading for an answer. An explanation. Anything? But for the first time in a long ass time, Rio had no idea what to say. He felt his palms sweat, gaze still fixed on the photos.

She would never smile at him the way she was in those pictures again. And she grinned as bright as the Sun in each photo except for the first.

When she was still met with silence, Rio resigned. He wanted to say something. Damn, why couldn't he speak? Why was he just sitting there? She was just as confused (surely more confused) as Rio.

"I can't believe this. I let you in and you really sat there and played with me. And you really don't got shit to say either? Well guess what nigga, it's done. I'll die before you hear my voice again, before you ever seem me again. And I could sit up here and yell and scream at you but you know what my momma taught me? As worthless as she was she taught me one thing: the best way to hurt a man is to move on. Get the fuck out." And just like that, before Rio could even say a word it was all over.

The next few minutes were a blur. A trash bag with all his shit was thrown out the window after he was shoved out of her apartment. All the gifts he'd gotten her, the shoes, the jewelry, even her cart that had her name custom printed on it, were tossed out there too. Rio sat out there, outside her apartment complex for what felt like hours.

Shit it probably had been hours. The flowers in the back taunted him. He wanted to stomp on them, he wanted to kick and scream at the world. Why did he fucking do that? For his job of course. Fuck that job, look where it got him. Standing outside the apartment of the love of his life.

Worse, he didn't even speak to defend himself, and she tossed him out so quick that it left his head spinning. He wasn't even sure how he walked to the elevator and made his way to his car. He wanted to die, he wanted to collapse, he wanted to go all the way back in time and tell himself to call off everything and meet her some other way. Now he lost everything that could've been lost to him.

And it was all because of his decisions.

Taglist:

@eddiemunsonreader

#black reader #x reader #fem reader #x black reader #rio x reader #rio good girls fanfiction #nbc good girls #rio good girls

266 notes · View notes

strawberriescherrieskiwi · 10 months

Text

I’ll borrow this music and give it to you.

Anon requests:

N/A

Wordcount: 17.8K+

Masterlist

Description: From Childhood crush, first love, and heartbreak, Amy and Laurie were staples in your life and you wouldn’t where you’ll be without them. Through fights, tears, and break up your roads always led back to each other.

A/N: So here this is. It’s insane how long this is. It is the longest thing I have written to do and I am very proud of myself for writing something this long. It took working on it off and on all month and I kept adding new scenes, I hope you all love it. Title is long but it is based on a song I listened to on repeat while writing them. Tagging @livresjaunes I hope you like it.

And also tagging @sufferingstarlight as their Queer week and Throple fic inspired me.

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Slow burn, friends to love, Reunited lovers, first love, young love, Traid couple. Smut. A lot of flashbacks. Mention of child abuse, abusive family. Homophobia and innerhomophobia. Character death- not major.

Amy

Those were the first words you thought of in the morning and the last words you thought of at night. Amy was your best friend. How could you not think of her all the time? No one made you as happy as Amy, no one knew you as well as Amy did, and no one held you together quite like Amy did.

She was more than your best friend, she was your life, your person. So she was a bit rough around the edges sometimes, but she was young and eager to be different from her sisters. To have 3 lovely sisters that everyone loved was hard for her. She wanted to be just like them and stand apart from them.

You saw Amy apart from her sisters. You saw how smart, talented, and strong she was. You always had her back, always by her side to build her up when she was down, to make her laugh when she was sad.

“Amy, you’ll get into trouble if you do that,” you whispered over her shoulder, biting your lip nervously, looking around the room to ensure the teacher was still gone.

“You worry too much. I want to show everyone my skills,” she said, smiling over her shoulder at you. The other girls laughed at your fear, egging her on.

“We all know you are talented, you don’t have to get into trouble to prove it,” you huffed going back to your seat and pulling out a book to read. You enjoyed school and you didn’t like being on your teacher’s bad side.

“Miss March,” The teacher snapped when he saw Amy drawing on the desk. His loud voice made you jump slightly and you stared at Amy.

“Hand, Miss March,” he said.

When Amy started to cry you stood up. “You can’t just hit her. You can’t just hit any of us,” you said, stubbornly.

“Would you like to take her hits for her?” He asked glaring at you.

“No,” Amy said standing up. “It is my punishment,” she said to him, but her eyes were on you.

You pouted slightly. You were stronger than Amy, you were used to being hit. Something that Amy was well aware of and always tried to protect you from it. The last thing you would do is to allow you to get punished for something she did.

You had to look away as his ruler came down on her knuckles again and again. Her sobs made you sob as well and then she was running out of the school, ignoring the calls of the teacher.

“You are a horrible teacher,” you spat at him.

“You all will thank me one day,” he said, going to the front of the room.

You scoffed, slamming your books on the desk. “I wouldn’t ever thank you and if I had my way you’ll never teach again.”

“Well, I am glad you have no say then. Now sit down before you are punished,” he threatened.

You glared at him, grabbing your things and leaving. You refused to be around him any longer. You were sure the male students were not hit like you all were, it was unfair.

You ran straight to the March household looking for Amy, only for her family to be just as shocked to know she left school. “I am sorry, Marmee. I should have left with her. I should have never let him hurt her,” you sobbed on her shoulder.

She hugged you close. You were her bonus daughter. She knew your home life was less than ideal and while she didn’t know all the details, just that your father and brother had died years ago and your mother didn’t know how to cope with the loss, she knew you needed love.

The abuse wasn’t something she could fathom. She just thought your mother was suffering and you fell to the side in her suffering. It didn’t matter to her, she saw you as a March, and loved and adored you as one of her own.

“It is alright, my darling. It is not your fault. He was wrong for hurting her and Amy should have come straight home,” she said, kissing your forehead.

Just then, Meg came into the room. “I found Amy, she is next door.”

The moment you saw Amy on the sofa you ran to her side hugging her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. She sobbed as well as the whole family hugged her tightly. Both of you crying too much for anyone to understand your words.

A throat clearing and a slight cough had you pulling away from Amy and seeing a boy a few years older than you and Amy. His eye caught yours and he smiled kindly, you sniffled wiping your face.

“Hello,” you said politely.

“Hello,” he said back, walking forward and giving you a tissue.

You thanked him and took the tissue. Amy giggled from your side pulling your attention to her.

“That is Laurie Laurance,” she whispered into your ear. “This is his home. He is new in town,” she said, never taking her eyes off of him. “Isn’t he beautiful?” She asked.

You looked back at him. He was beautiful. Astonishingly beautiful, his eyes soft and kind. He stood tall, but not overly confident, he had a look in his eye that you liked. But you didn’t like the way Amy looked at him. “He is okay,” you stated.

“He was so kind to me, and look at his curls,” she gushed.

You ignored her commented and grabbed her hand, kissing it softly. “I am sorry about your hand.”

Amy smiled, touching your cheek. “You are my best friend, I love you, but you shouldn’t have tried to take my punishment.”

“Maybe if your punishment was worthy of the crime, hitting us like that is barbaric.”

“That is why Jo should teach us both at home, right, Jo?” Amy said turning to face her.

“No no. You two are too young, too rowdy, and never listen,” Jo said, shaking her head.

“Oh please oh please. We are mature enough, please,” Amy begged.

“Please Jo we can’t go back to the horrible man. I’m sure my mother will pay you a lot.” Your father was a wealthy man and when he died it all went to your mother. While she didn’t care about you much, she never had much of a problem with spending money on you. Her way of trying to make up for the neglect.

“I will think about it,” Jo sighed.

With your mother offering Jo a number she couldn’t refuse, she began teaching you and Amy at home. It was heaven being taught at home and being able to be with Amy without having to fight for her attention from your former classmates.

The only time you didn’t have her attention is when it was on Laurie. You hated him for it. His stupid smile and his stupid eyes. He was so kind and sweet all the time and you hated it.

As you grew up you realized that your feelings for Amy changed. They weren’t the sisterly/ best friend feelings you had once, no they had grown deeper. Feelings you shouldn’t have for another woman and it frightened you.

“Amy,” you asked when you were 15. You both were sitting by the lake. Her head was in your lap and your fingers ran through her hair, she looked up from her sketchbook at you when you spoke. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

“Kissed anyone? Like a boy?”

“Yes. A boy or maybe a girl…”

“A girl?” She asked sitting up, staring at you with wide eyes.

“I don’t know, just. You hear about things right? Like women in Europe that never marry and spend all their time together. People say they are in love.”

“Women in love with other women?” She questioned her face pinched up in confusion.

“And men in love with other men,” you added, worriedly.

“Well, I suppose love is love. You can’t help who you love,” she shrugged. “I’ve never kissed a boy or a girl. Have you?”

You shook your head. “No never.”

“Really? But your mother takes you to all those fancy parties with all the rich and handsome boys and girls.”

“I guess I don’t like any of them.”

“Have you seen Laurie at the parties?” She asked.

You furrowed your brows. “Sometimes, but I have never kissed him.”

She looked off in a daze for a moment before turning back to you. “Shall we kiss?” She asked.

Your eyes widened and your heart sped up. “What?”

“Well, I love you and you love me. Marmee always said your first kiss should be with someone you love. That way we will have practice for later on,”

“Later on?” You asked.

“Yeah, later on.” She grinned moving closer to you. She cuffed the side of your face tenderly. You’ve never been touched so softly before your breath caught. “Can I kiss you now?”

You nodded, closing your eyes as your lips slightly brushed against each other.

“Amy is that you?” Jo shouted from down the lake.

You and Amy jumped pulling away from each other. Your face grew hot and Amy flushed bright red. Jo quickly ran over with Laurie in tow.

“I’ve been looking all over for you. Have you finished your schoolwork? And you didn’t clean the attic like you were meant to,” Jo scowled.

You sighed in relief as it seemed she didn’t see you two kissing.

“Jo, I will get to it later,” Amy whined. Jo was having none of it and grabbed her arm and started to drag her away chastising her the whole way. Amy tried to pull away, looking back at you, but Jo kept walking.

You stared wistfully after her.

“What are you thinking?” Laurie asked. You jumped having forgotten all about him, you flushed looking up at him, seeing him already staring at you.

“Theo,” you said. As your feelings for Amy grew and her admiration for Laurie grew, you started to call him Theo to annoy her which turned into you calling him that to his face sometimes.

“Why do you call me that?” He asked, laughing slightly as he took a seat next to you.

“Do you not like it?”

“Hmm, I’m unsure. My mother used to call me that.”

You gasped slightly feelings horrible. “Oh, Laurie, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I-I”

He laughed, placing his hand on yours. “It’s okay. I guess I missed being called that. Most people call me Laurie. Jo calls me Teddy, but I miss being Theo.”

“Then I will call you Theo,” you smiled.

Laurie’s smile back was heart stopping and for a moment you felt your own heart skip a beat.

“What were you and Amy doing?” He asked.

Your heart skipped again. “What did you see?” You asked.

“Nothing if that is what you wish.”

“Did Jo see?” You asked fearfully.

“No, she was too upset.”

“Thank you, Theo.”

“Of course, that is what friends are for.”

You felt bad for your disliking of Laurie and after that, you two became a bit closer. He saved you from your mother's overbearingness at parties and you two made jokes together and almost had your own language, which was just a mix of French and Italian.

“Do you think about going to Italy for your studies?” You asked him once.

Laurie was walking you home after you both spend the day putting on plays with the March girls. You were arm and arm and the night was cool and you both walked close together to stay warm.

“I don’t want to leave here. It’s home for me. You, my grandfather, the Marchs’, it’s home.”

“But Italy was home once. You lived there with your parents.”

“I think it would be too emotional to go back home for school. To be surrounded by the memories but alone, would be too much for me,” he said, shrugging, looking at the ground

You stopped walking tugging on his arm until he looked at you. “ Theo… I will make a promise to you. If you ever want to go back, I will go with you. We will walk down the street, eat all the food and be happy.

You can show me all the places you remember and then we can go there and make happy memories and then if you need to let out your emotions, my shoulders are here for you,” you smiled, patting his cheek.

Laurie was silent for a moment before a smile took over his face and he pulled you into a hug. He buried his head into your shoulder, he sniffled slightly. You let him hug you for as long as he needed, patting his back lightly.

When he pulled away he was smiling. “I am glad we have grown closer. I adore Jo and all the girls, but I feel like there are things I can talk to you about that I can’t with them.”

You nodded in understanding. “I feel the same. Amy is my best friend, but you Theo are someone I can be myself with.”

“I know you have lost your father and brother. And I want you to know you can talk to me about them, you can talk to me about anything.”

“And you can do the same.”

He told you about his feelings for Jo, but never pushed to hear more about yours for Amy but let you know if you wanted to talk about your feelings that he was there. He made you laugh and made you feel safe. Along with Amy, he was your person too.

The three of you were a little unit. A combined subunit of You and Amy and Laurie and Jo. It wasn’t often that the three of you were together but it was always a good time when you were

“So tell me, Theo, what is it you want to do with your life?” You were at the Marchs’ and after a slight incident, you were huddled by the fire wrapped in a thick blanket with Laurie and Amy, you all shivering.

“What do I want to do with my life? Why must I do anything? I have money already,” he said with a wide grin. Amy giggled behind her hands and he shot her a quick wink.

“He does have a point,” she said, from your other side.

“There must be something you are passionate about though?” You asked.

He twisted his mouth towards the left and thought about your question. “Music, I suppose,” he said with a shrug. “I like constructing it, operas, symphonies, anything really. I like telling stories through music.” Laurie glanced over at you both once he was finished and ducked his head slightly.

“Wow that’s amazing Laurie,” Amy said. “You should do it.”

“I agree that’s an incredible talent,” you added.

“How would you know, you haven’t heard any of my works.”

“I just know,” you grinned.

He blushed and looked away from you.

Amy cleared her throat and hugged her mug of cocoa. “Well, I for one want to hear with you wrote. Oh please let us hear some,”

“Yeah, Theo, please,” You begged along with Amy.

“Alright. Alright, I promise when I write something good I’ll show you both. Now what about you, what do you want to do?”

“Oh, I am unsure,” you said looking down at your hands. “I don’t think I have any talents.”

“Oh, she is being modest, she is multitalented. She is a wonderful singer, and she is so good with words and languages, and she is the best model, she poses for all my sketches.”

It was your turn to be flustered and you looked into your cup. “I like learning most, reading and I don’t know.. I like words a lot, but I’m not sure that is a talent.”

“Are you joking? That is an amazing talent, “Laurie said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Well if you are talking talent then we can’t leave out Amy, her drawings are so detailed and done with so much care and patience. One day we will see her work in museums all over the world.”

Amy buried her face into your shoulder. “I am not that good. Laurie, she is exaggerating.”

“I am not. She is amazing.”

“I could be better,” she mumbled.

Laurie smiled at the two of you. He reached around and pat her head. “You have so much time to perfect your craft, Amy. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“I won’t. With both your encouragement, I’ll work harder,” she said determined.

“Okay, I have cookies, who wants some,” Hannah said coming into the room.

“We do,” you all shouted at the same time, laughing.

For a while, life was nice, simple, and perfect.

“You should marry soon.” Your mother said, years later, walking into the room and interrupting your reading. You sighed softly, closing your book.

“Mother, I am only 17,” you said.

“At your age, I was married and on my second child,” She huffed.

“I will marry when I meet a nice man,” you said.

“There are plenty of nice men. How about Simon Baker?”

“He is 35,”

“And rich and without a wife.”

You huffed.

“Is this about that March girl?” she questioned walking closer to you, putting you on high alert.

“Amy is my friend.”

“Don’t lie to me. I see the way you look at her. It’s disgusting.”

“Amy is my friend,” you repeated.

“And what about that Laurence boy?”

“Also a friend.”

“At least that one would make a good partner.”

“He is a friend.”

“Maybe if he was a friend in the same way as the March I wouldn’t have to marry you off.”

“You can’t marry me off,” you said, gasping at her.

“I can do as I please.”

You didn’t want to argue it never ended well, so you turned back to your book huffing.

“Don’t huff at me. You will marry someone and do it soon. I am sick of you in this house,” she said, grabbing the back of your head and pulling your hair roughly a few times, pulling a few bits out.

You cried out and she shoved you to the ground. “Disappointment, why couldn’t you be like your brother.”

“He is dead mother. I can’t bring him back and you can’t keep punishing me. I didn’t kill him or father.”

“Shut up, you insolent girl,” she said, slapping you.

You stood up and ran out of the house. You ran all the way to the March house, but no one was home. You sobbed, needing to see Amy. To have her wrap her arms around you and tell you everything will be okay.

You left the March house a mess. Having no place to go you ran to the lake. You were so distraught you didn’t even notice Laurie or that you were close to falling into the water. Luckily, Laurie wrapped his arms around your waist to stop you.

“What’s wrong, what happened? You’re bleeding,” he said, touching your head, making you sob harder, and wrapping your arms around his waist.

Laurie held you close, whispering softly to calm you down as he led you to his home. He sat you down and grab a cloth to clean you up. “What happened to you?”

“My mother. She hates me. She hates me because I am not dead, she hates me because I am not my brother, she hates me because I have feelings for Amy. Everything about me she hates,” you sobbed

“I am sure she doesn’t hate you.”

“She does. And maybe she is right, I am odd. Unnatural,” you sobbed.

“No. There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly fine. She is wrong, lost in grief, and takes it out on you. You are not unnatural. Nothing about love is unnatural.” Laurie wiped your tears, smiling softly at you. “If you are unnatural. Then, I am as well.”

“She wishes to marry me off to some horrible man. He’s 35 years old and lives in Europe. I’ll never see any of you ever again.”

“She won’t.”

“She will. She will.”

“Do you dislike men? Maybe you can marry someone else. Someone kind? Or at least court someone to get her off your back.”

“I’ve… I don’t know. I’ve never thought about men or other women, it’s always been Amy,” you sniffled.

“Well then maybe you like men as well. Maybe you could fool her for a bit.”

“What if I can’t what if I don’t like them? What if I can’t pretend or kiss them or-” You were cut off by Laurie’s lips pressing against yours.

Your eyes widened slightly, but his lips were soft, warm, and just Laurie's. Your eyes closed and you leaned into his kiss. He cupped your face and you placed your hands over his.

He pulled away after a few moments and your eyes opened to stare into his. “How was that?” He whispered.

“It was nice. Really nice,” You smiled. “Have you done this before, Theo?”

He shook his head. “I am glad to see you are not crying anymore. You are my friend and I hate to see you down. I won’t let your mother marry you off,” he assured you.

“Laurie have you seen- “Amy paused as she came into the room with her sisters and saw you and Laurie. His hands are still on your face and yours on top of his.

You quickly pulled away from him and his hands dropped quickly as he looked at Jo, but your eyes never left Amy. Her face pinched slightly but then she was running to you, and cupping your face.

You were confused until you remember the way you looked. Face puffy and probably dried blood in your hair.

“What happened, sweet girl?” She asked.

You just moved closer to her wrapping your arms around her neck. You felt Laurie get up from the sofa and you pulled back from Amy slightly to grasp his wrist. “Theo, thank you,” you whispered in Italian.

He nodded and walked out of the room with the rest of the Marchs’.

“Sweet girl?” Amy questioned.

You turned back to her telling her about your fight with your mother, going to her home and Laurie finding you. Leaving out the part about your feelings and kiss.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t home. I’m sorry that she hurt you. You know she is wrong, you don’t need to be your brother. You are beautiful, smart, and so talented. You know one day we should move away. Go to Paris I can paint and you can study all the languages and read all the books you want.

“We would run away together?” You questioned.

“Yes just the two of us. Won’t that be fun?” she said, wiping your tears and kissing your forehead.

“I would like that very much.”

Amy smiled, pressing her lips to yours quickly. Since your first kiss, you two shared kisses on multiple occasions. Amy moved to the sofa and pulled you into her arms, holding you close. “I would like that as well.”

It was only days later, when things took a turn in your life.

“You and Laurie are really close these days,” Amy said on one of your walks days later.

“He is closer to Jo,” you said. “And I’m closer to you,” you added, bumping her shoulder.

She didn’t smile. “Yet closer than I am with him.”

“Are you jealous?” You said, trying to hide your smile. You were 17 now. Despite all the kisses you two shared over the last few years, you were always uncertain about her feelings for you, but if she was jealous then maybe she felt the same.

“Maybe, I don’t like it.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t lose me.”

She groaned, “I know that, but still.”

You chuckled. “You are my best friend. Theo is just a friend.”

“You call him Theo.”

“You are my best friend,” and then you grabbed her shoulders, stopping her from walking, and kissed her pouting lips.

Amy pulled away. “Stop it, don’t kiss me when I am upset with you.”

You frowned. “Why are you upset? You won’t lose me,”

“Yes, but I could lose him. I first had to compete with Jo and now you for his affection.”

“You… like Laurie?”

She threw her hands up. “Of course I like Laurie.

“Laurie? Laurie? You like Laurie?”

“Yes yes. Has it not been obvious?”

Of course, it has been. Of course, you never thought about it, you had a suspension once, but you thought it was something small and passing. You thought that… you thought she felt something for you. You were stupid.

“Why did you kiss me all the time if you like Laurie?”

“For practice. We were practicing,” she said as if it was obvious.

Practiced. You thought about her words when you were young to practice for later. You wanted to be upset with her. You wanted to yell at her, but it wasn’t her fault she didn’t love you. That she didn’t know that the kisses meant more to you.

Your eyes filled with tears. “Laurie doesn’t love you, Amy,” you said hurtfully.

She scoffed, “And he doesn’t love you either.”

“I know that. I know he is in love with Jo,”

“He is not. Stop trying to say things to hurt me.”

“I am not. I am telling the truth.”

“How could you be so cruel to hurt me because I like him? Are you jealous?”

You were now in a state of panic. You couldn’t tell her about your feelings now. “If I wanted to hurt you, I would have told you that I kissed Theo.”

She gasped. “What? You kissed him?”

“He kissed me actually.” You were being cruel now, and you hated yourself for it.

Her eyes filled with tears as well. “I thought you were my best friend,”

You scoffed. “I’ve been more than your best friend for years.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing Amy, nothing at all.”

She frowned. “No, tell me.”

“No.”

“If you are my best friend then tell me.”

“Don’t use that, Amy March.”

“I just did. We tell each other everything.”

“You didn’t tell me about your feelings for Laurie.”

“And you didn’t tell me about your kiss with him.”

“I suppose we are not as close as we thought then. Good night, Amy.”

You turned and walked toward your home. You so badly wanted Amy to run after you, shout after you or something, but nothing happened and you slowly let the tears fall as you walked away with a broken heart and a destroyed friendship. You ran home and sobbed in your room for hours.

For the next few weeks, you avoided going out into town you didn’t want to see Amy or any of your friends. It was awful being alone and with your mother, it was worse. She spent every moment telling you how worthless you were or trying to push Simon onto you. You spent time with him just to get her off your back and to not be alone.

The first time you left the house you ran into Amy with a group of girls you once went to school with. They were laughing about something and having a good time. You made eye contact with Amy and she quickly turned away as if she didn’t see you.

Your heart ached and you ran all the way home. Making a rash decision, you told your mother you would marry Simon and move to Europe with him. She was overjoyed and within two weeks you were married and on a plane to England.

You sat under a tree in a busy park in France. It was a warmer day, but there was a nice breeze. The perfect day to enjoy a good book. You took a deep breath and enjoyed the French air. Children ran around causing a smile to grow on your face. You were happy and content.

You were 23 and a widow. Your late husband was not the cruel man you thought him to be. He was kind and gentle and understood that your feels laid elsewhere as his own did. A friend from his youth, a male friend he loved and lost in war.

He declared he would never love again after loving so deeply. But pressure from his family had him scrambling to find a wife to keep his secret, but he hated the idea of someone loving him when he was unable to do it back.

And then you two got married and while you never told him in so many words about your feelings for Amy. He knew that you were also heartbroken and in need of protection and a friend.

So you married as friends and he became your best friend when you moved to Europe with him. You two had a happy life, one that was just as happy as people actually in love, because you both cared about each other and enjoyed each other company, when he died you were broken. You were happy with him as your companion and without him, you were alone again.

Well, you weren’t always alone. Laurie was someone that you didn’t think you would have run into in London one day but you did. He was studying in London after traveling around with his grandfather and you two find comfort in each other for a while.

“Laurie? What are you doing here?” You asked when you bumped into him with Simon. It was one of his good days and he wanted fresh air and you two decided on a stroll together. “Simon this is a dear friend of mine from when I was a girl, Theodore Laurence.”

“You are still a girl, darling,” Simon teased, patting your hand before turning to Laurie. “I believe we met during my brief time in the States, it is nice to see you again.”

Laurie looked between the two of you as if in a daze. But then something snapped him out of it and he shook Simon’s outstretched hand. “Oh yes we have met before, nice to see you as well.” And then he turned to you. “I am here for university. My grandfather sent me here.”

“Really? Why did something happen?” you asked concerned. When you moved you cut ties with everyone, not hearing from anyone for the last few years.

Laurie looked down sadly at your words. You reached out to him, moving to untangle yourself from Simon when he began coughing. He bent over as he had a fit and you quickly grabbed his upper arm.

Laurie jumped into action, grabbing his other side. “Is he alright?” He asked you.

“Yes, um can you help me get him home, it isn’t far from here,” you said, feeling Simon’s forehead and seeing he was burning up.

With a nod, you and both walked quickly towards your London home. Once inside you helped Simon into his bed, tucking him in. And getting a wet cloth to put on his forehead. You sat by his bed worriedly as he wheezed.

“I’ll wait outside,” Laurie said.

You nodded not taking your eyes off of your husband. You brushed his hair out of his face and patted his face with the cloth. “Simon you should not try to overdo it for my benefit.” You said.

“You are young. You should not have to take care of a dying husband. You should be going to shows, walking around London and exploring. You deserve it, my darling.”

“You are my husband. My best friend, I want to be here by your side,” you rebutted.

“I will feel bad if you spent your youth inside with me.”

You sighed, kissing his forehead. “Simon. I like being indoors. Reading, learning, and taking care of our home and you. I could not ask for more,” you assured him.

“That can’t be true. What about love?”

“I’ve loved and that time for my life is over.”

“You are too young to be cynical.”

“You were cynical too at my age,” you teased.

“Yes, and I was miserable until I met you. I don’t want that for you. You should have someone. Would you like a child?” He offered.

You kissed his forehead. “Simon, my best friend. I could not raise a child without you. I-I fear when you go and I don’t think having a babe to take care of will be helpful.”

“I hate that I will leave you alone.”

“You saved me from the loneliness I will be okay.”

He sighed deeply sending himself into another coughing fit. “You deserve more. You should have passion, desire, and love. What about Laurie?”

“What, Laurie?”

“Yes, he was a friend from before. He is young, unmarried, and beautiful. You could be with him… to cure the loneliness.”

“You are my husband, Simon. How could you suggest… that,” you said flushing. You and Simon had tried to consummate your marriage, but you both were too uncomfortable and decided against it.

“I am your husband in name only. I am your friend that wants good things for you. Just, don’t rule it out. Use the house and enjoy being a woman with power.” He didn’t say while it lasted but you both understood the words in the air.

“I will think about it. Now please get some rest. I’ll bring you something to eat later on,” you wiped his forehead one last time before getting up to leave.

Laurie stood against the wall across from the room. He looked up when you exit, standing up straight. “Is he alright?”

You nodded, your eyes downcast.

“What is the matter with him?” He asked gently.

You chuckled softly, but it broke into a sob. “The doctors have no idea, just that he is getting weaker each day and pretty soon he’ll be gone,” you said, covering your mouth to hold down your emotions.

You truly didn’t know what to do without Simon. The house would feel too empty, and you couldn’t return to America, you didn’t want to but you didn’t want to be alone. Laurie’s arms engulfed you and held you tightly.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he said against the shell of your ear. “I’m here,” He repeated over and over until you calm down.

You pulled away to look up at Laurie. He smiled softly at you, wiping your tears. “Theo, what happened? Why are you here?” You asked.

“I asked Jo to marry me and she rejected me,” he said, voice full of pain and sorrow.”

“Oh Theo, I am so sorry,” you said, grabbing his hand and kissing the back of it. You lead him away from Simon’s room into your own chambers and into your sitting area. “Maybe she needs time?” You suggested.

Laurie shook his head. “No, she doesn’t love me. And She never will. She didn’t see me as a potential partner, just Teddy her best friend,” He said bitterly.

You took his hand again, squeezing it sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Theo. You deserve better. It is Jo’s loss.”

He shrugged and quickly changed the subject. “Why do you have your own chambers? You two seem… so in love?”

“Simon is my best friend but there is no romantic love between us. Plus we enjoy our own space.” You said.

“Are you happy?” He asked.

“I am. I just am afraid of the happiness leaving when he dies,” you expressed.

“You won’t be alone. I’ll be here too. Like you once said to me, a shoulder to cry on. A friend to have around. I think we both could use one.”

You stared at Laurie for a while, thinking about your talk with Simon, your kiss when you were kids, and about how much you ached for passion in your life.

“Theo, we have been burned by love. We are both grieving losses, I think we should grieve together,” you suggested, looking at him from under your lashes.

Laurie swallowed thickly, his eyes dropped to your lips. “Sharing the burden of grieve would be beneficial, healthy even,” He said, moving closer to you.

“Yes my thought exactly,” you said, your breath mixed and your heart rate spiked.

His nose bumped against yours and you both giggled softly. “I’ve never done this before,” he whispered.

“Neither have I. we can just learn together,” you said and then your lips were brushing each other.

You are unsure which one of you deepened the kiss, but Laurie’s tongue was in your mouth and your eyes were fluttering shut. Laurie’s hands tentatively took your waist and he pulled back softly. “Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s okay. You can um, take off my clothes if you want.”

Laurie’s eyes widened at your suggestion but he quickly got to his feet, almost tripping over the sofa. His cheeks blazed as he giggled helping you stand as well. “Sorry, I am awfully nervous,” he confessed.

“I am too, but I trust you, Laurie,” you whispered.

“I trust you as well,” He replied.

You both smiled at each other for a moment, before Laurie cupped your cheek and placed another kiss on your lips. He took a deep breath when he pulled away and untied your shawl.

“Umm, what should I do with this?” He asked looking around.

“Toss it on the sofa, I don’t care.”

Nodding he tossed it quickly away, moving to unbutton your front-facing corset. Each button, he was painstakingly slow and you were just about to scream when he tossed it aside as well. Laces, knots, bows, and fabric were taken off your body until you stood in front of him in just your slip.

Laurie grabbed the bottom, but you stopped him. “Wait,” you said, your heart racing. Laurie froze, staring at you with big doe eyes.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“No, Theo, just. I want to see you. It’s odd being the only one naked.”

“Of course of course,” he said, quickly removing his layers of coat, vest, and undershirt.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at how quickly he removed his own clothes. Laurie narrowed his eyes playfully at you. “Something amusing?”

“Yes. You Mr. Laurence.”

“Well I aim to entertain,” he bowed before moving to remove his pants, quickly causing your laughter to die down and your mouth to dry up.

Once undressed completely, Laurie grabbed your hips with purpose, rubbing his thumbs into your hip bones. You shivered and quickly grabbed his hand and led him to your bedroom.

“Lay down,” he said, before climbing on top of you. His hands moved to the bottom of your slip and with a little nod from you he pulled it over your head. You laid bare before him and your hands moved to cover your breast, but he was already leaning down and pressing burning kisses to them.

“You are beautiful, you don’t have to hide from me. It’s Theo. Your Theo, your friend, relax,” he said, though his own voice shook. The words were probably meant for both of your benefits.

His lips traced the curve of your right breast before, his tongue circled your nipple. He watched you closely, gauging your reactions to see what you liked and didn’t like. Your eyes closed and you sucked in a sharp breath.

A pulse between your legs had you trying to close them, but Laurie was already between and your legs just squeezed his sides. He groaned switching to your own breast giving it the same treatment.

“I heard that it hurts for women the first time, I don’t wish to hurt you,” He said, pushing two fingers into his mouth soaking them before letting them drag down your body before reaching your most private parts.

“I know, it’s okay.”

“Tell me if something hurts too much.”

You nodded and then his two fingers were inside of you. You gasped which caused you to tighten around his fingers. The pressure was weird, but nothing was overly painful. “Go on,” you mumbled.

Laurie’s fingers moved slowly at first, just barely kissing your tight walls, but the more he worked them inside of you the wetter you became. The room was loud with the little gasp and moan you released and the wet sounds of his fingers inside of you.

You relaxed more, opening your legs wider as the awkward feeling gave way to pleasure. Your moans grew louder and you humped against his hand. Laurie pulled his fingers away and you whined.

“Eager?” He teased, wrapping one of your legs around his waist. The other, he slid the wet fingers from your inner thigh to your calf. You shivered again.

“Don’t tease me The- Heavens,” you closed your eyes as he pushed into you. You whimpered feeling tears in your eyes.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Are you all the way in?”

Laurie frowned shaking his head. You were sweating and he pushed away the hair sticking to your forehead. “Just a bit more,”

“Is it normal to be so big?” You questioned.

He bit his lip to hide his smile, but his shoulder pulled back and you knew you just stroked his ego.

“Just push it all in and then give me a moment.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned.

“Yes.”

You closed your eyes waiting for the pain but instead, Laurie didn’t move and his lips were on yours again. Your eyes opened in confusion but you kissed him back eagerly. His soft lips mold into yours and you started to feel pleasure again.

With your distracted, Laurie slowly pushed inch by inch inside of you until he had bottomed out. You whined into his mouth, but Laurie stroked over your sides again and kissed all over your face.

“Let me know when it’s okay to move,” his voice was tight and strained, it was taking everything in him to be still and not hurt you.

You felt so incredibly full and you were completely surrounded by Laurie, his smell, and just him. Your heart hammered against your ribcage and you looked up at him, your eyes met and you smiled nodding.

And then he pulled back slowly and thrust back in quickly. Laurie moaned, your name falling from his lips. You moaned, arching against him.

“Theo, more.”

Your affair with Laurie lasted longer than you thought it would. It went from two friends grieving over lost loves to something more. Something that felt close to love and you couldn’t love Laurie.

No, you loved a friend before and it ruined your friendship. Plus Laurie loved Jo, she was who he thought of when you two were together. And even though it’s been years, your love for Amy still burned bright. And most importantly you were married.

Even if Simon had encouraged an affair, he was still very much alive, and sleeping with someone else was one thing, but falling in love was a different thing. It felt like a betrayal and you couldn’t handle it; So you had to break things off before you were too deep in.

“Theo,” you started one night as he held you close in his arms in your bed. Your head rested on his chest and his heartbeat was almost enough to put you to sleep, but you held on. “Have you answered any of Jo’s letters?”

He tensed at her name but only for a moment before relaxing and placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “No. I haven’t even read any.”

“Do you plan to?” You asked, looking up at him.

He sighed, moving until your faces were close together, his nose bumping against yours with every breath. “Why do you ask? Are you thinking about writing to Amy?”

“No. Amy does not want to hear from me.”

“I don’t believe that. You are her best friend. She was heartbroken when you left,” he said, rubbing his nose into your cheek, kissing your neck. “What did you two fight about anyways?”

He had asked you plenty of times but you never answered. You couldn’t tell him about her feelings, a fear you refused to acknowledge that maybe they were perfect for each other and he would seek her out and you’ll lose both of them.

“Girl things,” you replied.

He groaned, biting your jaw. “Why won’t you tell me? Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” you breathed.

“Tell me, my love.”

You froze at the pet name and Laurie noticed. He quickly pulled back to stare at your face. Neither of you spoke as you stared. You two had been sleeping together for months. Currently naked and pressed up against each other, but the pet name was so softly spoken, so intimate. The intimacy slowly worked its way up your throat, choking you.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why that slipped out. I-I. I’m sorry,” he said, moving to kiss you, but you moved away, sitting up.

“I think we should stop this,” you said.

Laurie sat up as well. “Stop this? Stop what?”

“This Theo. Us sleeping together. It is not doing either of us any good. Using each other to get over the March sisters, it’s wrong. And unhealthy.”

“How is it wrong, we are both adults, consenting and we are friends helping each other out.”

“I am married, Laurie.”

“You were married when we started. You were fine with it then, what has changed?” He asked, reaching for you, but you got out of bed and pulled on your nightgown.

“I just can’t anymore it isn’t helping anyone. You love Jo and I love Amy.”

“I don’t love Jo,” he stated.

You turned to him blinking. “Since when?”

“I don’t think I have ever loved Jo. Or maybe never in love with her.”

You scoffed. “You loved her only months ago. You have already tossed that love aside.” This is why you didn’t want to love him. He was always fickle.

“Jo was someone I was close to. Someone that I latched into when I had no one. I wanted love and the idea of loving Jo was perfect. So I told myself I loved her and now I know it was not true romantic love I had for her.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You had to look away from him. “You come too often, people might talk and I can’t do that to Simon.”

“I’ll come less. Or come in through the back.”

“No, Theo. We are spending too much time together. You should be focusing on school and your music. You said you were struggling with operas. You should work on that.”

“Why are you pushing me away? Have I done something?” His ask was pitiful and depressing and you hated yourself a little bit for it.

“We have been in a web in my room and it is time to move on. You must prepare for graduation and life and I need to take care of my husband. Not abandon him for an affair with some man.”

“Some man? Is that all I am to you?”

You turned to face him then. “I meant no offense, Laurie. I just think our fun should end before things get too deep and we ruin things between us.”

Laurie was silent for a bit. He stared at you long and hard. You grew uncomfortable, wrapping your arms around your chest and looking away from him. He sighed heavily. “Very well. Take care,” he dressed quickly with you watching him.

He laced his boots and stood in front of you. “I mean it, take care of yourself.”

You nodded, too overtaken by emotions to speak.

He stood another minute in front of you before exiting your room.

Your vision blurred just thinking about that day. Laurie never replied to any of your letters, never return to your house, and the gift you sent for his graduation, he returned it. You blinked away the tears, clearing your throat.

Simon died only a few weeks later and you were too busy to think about Laurie and all your confusing feelings. It was one thing to love Amy, another to love Laurie, but to love both?

You thought of your mother’s harsh words and maybe she was right, there was something wrong with you. Something broken that you loved so easily and at the same time.

Being home made you think about it too much and while you were still free from your mother, in Europe, you couldn’t stay home and be sad and wallow. Simon would not want that and you didn’t want it. So you traveled and that brought you to Paris.

The people were vibrant and friendly and the food was to die for. You felt like a child again with all the wonder you had. You loved it and you wanted to stay the whole season.

Humming a song you missed the first time someone said your name, but as they grew closer and louder you looked up to see Aunt March, Amy, and Laurie. Your eyes connected with Laurie’s first but he quickly looked away and Amy smiled softly but refused to hold your eyes either.

With just left Aunt March. She narrowed her eyes at you. “What’s the matter, girl? Move to Europe and forgot your manners?” Aunt March questioned.

Flushing, you stood up and smiled as warmly as possible at them. “Hello there. Forgive me, Aunt March. It is lovely to see you.” You turned to Amy and Laurie. “Hello.”

Laurie moved first pulling you into an awkward half-hug. His breath was strong with alcohol and you coughed slightly. “It is nice to see you again, Theo,” you said. The words sound painful to your own ears.

“Is it?” He questioned. “ If you all would excuse me, I have somewhere to be,” And then Laurie walked off.

You stared after him in shock. You knew you two had left things awkward and tense, but you didn’t expect the coldness from him. Laurie was never harsh, with anyone, especially not you.

A hand on your elbow had you turning to face Amy. Your breath caught slightly as you took her in. It’s been years since you last saw her and she was more breathtaking than ever.

“You will have to ignore Laurie, he is going through a phase of being an overgrown child,” she said, but she smiled softly at you. “Hello, stranger,” she said.

“Hello, Amy,” you said, a bit breathlessly. You felt foolish you had grown, married, and fallen for someone else, yet Amy still made you feel warm inside.

You two stared at each other for a moment before Aunt March groaned. “Speak you two,” She said, shaking her head and walking away mumbling about how annoying children were these days.

You both laughed as you watched her walk away. “She never changed, does she?” You said looking at Amy.

“No, I’m afraid she has only gotten meaner with age.”

You both laughed once more. Until you both slowly broke off and stared at one another until Amy spoke up.

“I’m sorry about our fight. And then ignoring you, but how could you just marry and leave?” She said, pouting.

You hugged her then, squeezing her tightly. “I’m sorry about our fight, I was so rude to you. And I’m sorry for leaving.”

“And not writing or inviting me to the wedding,” she added, hugging you back.

“Yes for not writing or inviting you to the wedding,” you chuckled, breathing in the scent you loved most.

“All is forgiven, sweet girl, but you can’t do that anymore. I’ve been miserable without you,” Amy said, taking your hand and squeezing it.

You squeezed her hand back. “I’ve been miserable without my best friend as well.”

“Now that we have made up, tell me about your husband. Has he been kind to you? Do you have children? Oh my gosh, you do don’t you? You have children and they don’t even know me,” she whined, but there was also something else in her voice you couldn’t decipher.

“Amy, take a breath,” you teased, grabbing your book as you two walked around the park. “My husband, Simon.. he was a very good man, but he sadly passed on.”

She gasped, turning to face you with a face painted in sorrow. “I am so sorry to hear that. You are still so young to lose a husband. He wasn’t that old.”

“It was a sickness that took him quickly. Healthy one day and coughing up blood the next. I was happy to try to make his last days the best for him. He grew to be my closest friend.”

“I am glad you were not in a bad marriage, but I am sorry about you having to lose him.” Amy pulled you into a side hug.

You hugged back. “And we didn’t have children. With Simon getting sick it was best that way. I could not imagine raising them alone.”

“I suppose that is the best solution. Did you love him?” She asked.

“Yes. In a way that made us both happy.”

She furrowed her eyes at your comment but didn’t press. “So tell me what brought you here?”

“I came for the art, the culture, the people,” you smiled. “Why did you come?”

“For you,” she said, glancing shyly over at you. “You learned French when you were younger and you always talked about coming here and when Aunt March asked me to tour Europe with her, I knew I had to come here. See all the things we talked about.”

Your heart squeezed at her words and you smiled softly at her words. You wished for nothing more than to kiss her but you were in public. Amy's eyes bore into your own and the same desire filled her eyes. But you reminded yourself of her words, that the kisses meant nothing. They were just practiced.

“I’ve missed you so much, Amy,” you said.

“I’ve missed you as well. With you gone, I felt a part of me was missing. I was an awful friend. Too vain sometimes for my own good. I won’t excuse my actions, but if you give me the chance, I want to make it up to you. Be a better friend.”

“I would very much like to be your friend again.”

“Good. Now there is a ball tonight. I would love for you to attend with me. It will be fun, with drinks, dancing, and music. It will be wonderful. Say you will come?”

“I will be there, Amy. I promise.”

The ball was…well it was a ball fit for the French elite and while you have been a part of the elites before you never felt completely comfortable around them. Your dress was bright and made you stand out too much and you wished to hide in a corner.

You felt like a child once again force at a party by your mother. You searched the crowd for Amy and sighed and relief when you saw her. Luckily, she saw you at the same moment and made her way over to you.

“Oh, you look beautiful. Well, you always look beautiful but this is your color,” she gushed, having your ears and face burn at the compliments.

“Thank you, Amy. You look radiant as well. The center of the party,” you said, then leaned closer. “Everyone has eyes on you.”

She blushed. “Well, that is Fred’s doing.”

“Fred?”

“Fred Vaugh. We met him at the beach once, an old friend of the Laurence’s. We are in a courtship,” she explained.

Your face fell slightly at her words, but what did you expect? For her to love you to wait for you when you left and married. “That’s wonderful, Amy,” you said.

Amy looked around the room for a moment before grabbing your hand and pulling you away from the party. You both walked into you were outside in a beautiful garden. “Everyone might have their eyes on me, but mine are on you,” she said.

“Fred is a nice man but I want to be with you tonight, check-up, talk to my sweet girl,” she pulled you to the ground into a space covered by bushes so no one would see you too.

“What about the ball? And your dress, it will be ruined.”

“First, Laurie drunkenly showing up ruined the ball for me and second, you are much more important and worth a ruined dress.”

“What is going on with Laurie?” In London, he was saddened by the rejection of Jo, but he wasn’t drinking and behaving as Amy mentioned.

“It has to be the heartbreak. He’s just a mess. We had seen a lot of each other in Paris and he was getting better, I thought at least, but then he went to London and his letters seemed as if he was better and happier. And then he came back like this. Drunk all the time, making stupid comments.” She mumbled the last part as she patted down her dress.

You smiled, knocking your shoulder against hers. “Tell me about your art, Amy. Tell me about the new Amy?”

You and Amy spent the whole night pressed up together and catching up with each other. It was as if no time had passed between the two of you. While you had married and grown, Amy had matured into a woman with a kind heart, determination, and passion.

It was amazing to see how much she changed and you could listen to hear her talk all day along. She leaned against you laughing at a story you told about your wedding day with Simon.

“I cannot see you doing that?” She said between gasping breaths.

“I did. I did. I was not going to wear so awful dress all day and if they refused to let me change I would make them. So I set the dress on fire, while still wearing it.”

“Oh, you have lost your mind. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. That is something that would make Jo very happy.”

You laugh along with her. “How is Jo?” You asked.

Her laughter died down a bit and she shrugged. “She is the same Jo I suppose. She is upset with me for coming here, upset with Laurie for ignoring her, and the world for treating her horribly for being born a woman.”

“Laurie will come around. And we can’t fault her for the last. We know the drawback we have to face for being women.”

“We all know it, but complaining and making things worse is not the way to go about it. We must find ways to be ourselves. To enjoy life within the binds. Wiggle and loosen them slowly. Any other way does more harm than good.”

“Wise-words. You really have grown, Amy March.”

“I have. I know I seem proper and happy with my station in society but I know that it is a man’s world and nothing will ever be mine. My life is not my own and never will be, it’s frustrating but if I want to take care of my family, I must play the part.”

You grabbed her hand. “And if you didn’t- if you didn’t have to play a part what would you do? What is your dream?”

Amy looked at you. “I would like to be happy be with someone that I love who loves me. I want to paint be a true artist and make my own money. I want so much, I want that dream we had as children. I want-” You cut her off by kissing her.

You thought she would pull away, but instead, she placed her hand on the side of your face and kissed you back, deeply and full of emotions. You kissed until you needed to break away to breathe air in your lungs.

“I-I’m sorry, Amy. I don’t know what came over me,” you said, looking down. You fan your cheeks as they burned and you looked around making sure no one was looking.

Amy grabbed your hand, shaking her head. “No, please don’t apologize. I wanted to kiss you since the moment I saw you, maybe since the day we fought. I am sorry for the words I spoke. I.. kissing you was never practice. Or maybe it started as such, but it was a comfort.”

She paused moving so she sat in front of you. She took both of your hands and placed them in your lap. Your heart fought to leave your chest and your whole body felt as if it was being pricked.

“You were my best friend. You are my best friend and I like being with you. I love spending time with you, laughing, reading, and kissing you. I didn’t understand what it meant. What you were to me,” she looked down at her hands. “But then realized that I missed you like Marmee misses father.”

You bit your lips, holding your breath as you waited for her to finish talking, but instead, she bit her lip and began to cry softly. With furrowed brows, you moved closer hugging her to your chest. “What’s wrong, Amy? Don’t cry, please. You know it will make me cry too,” you said.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it, it’s just. I love you and it is unfair that we can not be together. It is unfair that we can’t do anything about it. We are women and I have duties to uphold and I’ll never be happy.” She sobbed, her shoulders shaking and her breathing grew erratically.

“Amy, you must calm down. You know you get worked up so easily, you could pass out, calm, Amy. Calm, I’m here. I have you,” you patted the back of her head and held her close until she slowly stop crying.

“Are you alright now?” You asked pulling back to regard her face.

She frowned adorably nodding, wiping her eyes as embarrassment settled in. “Yes, I am sorry for losing it like that. And springing feels onto you. It was wrong of me.”

You smiled, cupping her face and brushing away the rest of your tears. “Don’t be sorry for having emotions or expressing them. I will never fault you for it,” you said, kissing her softly.

She kissed you back, breaking away after a few moments. “I should not have expressed my feelings because if you return them, there is nothing we can do about it, and if not, I could make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh Amy March, I have loved you my whole life,” you giggled, pecking her lips.

“Don’t say that. I will only make me sadder.”

“But we love each other, is that not good news.”

“If one of us is a man, but I must marry Fred,” she said miserably.

“But why? I have my own money we can live together, happily.”

“Because marrying Fred is what is expected of me, and must do it for my family. I am sorry.”

You shook your head, squeezing her hand. “I am not upset with you. I understand doing what you have to do for your family.”

“Can we still spend time together like now, until I marry?” She asked.

“We can spend all the time you would like, Amy,” You assured her.

You went to your lodging that night with only thoughts of Amy and how you must be dreaming. She loved you. Amy loved you back. You knew the sneaking around was not ideal, and that you wanted more with her, but you would take whatever you could get.

But your mind thought about the women you read about as a child. The women who lived together and were happy, but family meant something to Amy. Her family was her life and you didn’t have it in you to take her away from them.

Just as you were about to slip into unconsciousness another thought came to mind. Another person, Laurie. You didn’t see him the whole party, you were sure he was avoiding you which hurt. You were worried about your feelings for him and your feelings for Amy. You fell asleep with guilt heavy on your mind, for loving them both.

Over the next few weeks, you spend as much time with Amy as you could. You two were either in the park, her drawing and you reading, or walking around giggling close together. The only time you spent away from her was the time she spent with Laurie.

The guilt of loving them both only was overshadowed by the jealousy of knowing they were together without you. You wanted to be with Laurie, talking like you used to, or spend all the time with Laurie. You were growing sick of the headaches you were causing yourself, but it came to a head when you overheard Amy and Laurie together.

“Do you love him?” Laurie asked her softly.

“Love him? Do you mean Fred?” She asked.

“Is there another man in your life that you love?” He asked.

Amy’s eyes flickered to his at his words. She loved Laurie. She didn’t want to, she tried her whole life not to, but she did. She loved him as easily as she loved you. “I don’t love Fred,” she concluded.

“Then don’t marry him.”

“Oh, Laurie why shouldn’t I marry him? He is kind and he has enough money to take care of me, my family, and my future family.”

“But you do not love him.”

“We already had this conversation, Laurie.”

“No. I mean he does not love you either. So you should marry me,” he said.

“Marry- marry you? Laurie, why would you say that wh-why?” Amy closed her notebook and stood up shaking her head.

“Please Amy, I’ll treat you better than him. I can take care of you and your family. I can make you happy.”

“Laurie stop it. Just stop it. You are hurting and raw because of Jo, but that does not give you the right to be mean to me.”

“Mean? I am not being mean. I am serious, Amy. I want you to marry me. We can be happy together,” He moved closer, taking her arms. “We have spent so much time together in the last few months and I think I could make you happy. I want to try,”

“Try? No no. Laurie, how dare you? After I spent my whole life loving you. I’ve been second to Jo in everything and now I am to be second to her with you? No, I refuse. I won’t settle for second place.”

“So you rather marry someone you don’t love?”

“Yes, I rather be respected if I can’t be loved.”

“You can have both with me,” he shrugged.

“I can’t. And I don’t want to see you anymore.” And then she was running out of the studio. She bumped into you with tears running down her face.

“Oh, d-d-did you hear?” She said, face flushed and hands twitching.

“I did. Amy, what’s wrong? Why did Laurie’s words upset you so much,” you said softly, already knowing the answer. She all but said she still loved him.

She wiped her eyes. “It is not what you think?” She said at once.

“It would be okay if it was,” you said.

She shook her head. “No. No, it won’t be. No. I don’t love Laurie, not after everything,” she said.

“Shush, my dove. Let me walk you home,” you said taking her arm.

She nodded, looping her arm through yours.

The walk was quiet, with Amy sniffling every few moments. You were too in your own head to really think about making conversation. The idea of Amy and Laurie marrying was heavy on your mind. They would be a perfect couple and Amy deserve love, but not from Laurie, not if he was using her to get over Jo.

When it was with you, you didn’t fault him. You both agreed to enjoy each other, it was mutual and your falling for him was not his fault, but Amy, she did care about him, she loved him and deserved more than a husband that loved her sister.

After walking Amy home you sent a letter to where Laurie was staying demanding his presence. You were steaming as you waited for him. Your leg bounced with anger as you sat trying to read your novel, but all you could think about what that selfish man.

The moment you heard a knock on the door you were out of your seat. You throw the door open and pulled Laurie into the room. You stood across from him with one hand on your hip glaring at him.

“You’ve invited me here to glare at me?” He asked confused.

“What are you doing with Amy?” You said at the same time.

Laurie’s eyes widened slightly and he moved deeper into the room. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“Asking her to marry you? Are you trying to hurt her? Ruin her life?”

“What? No of course not. I was just trying to help her. I-I grew deep feelings for her,” he said. He looked towards the ground, only glancing up at you to see your reaction. While Laurie was not lying about his feelings for Amy, he loved you all the same.

It was spending time together in London that made him realize that he felt only friendship and familial love for Jo. The feelings he got for you were deeper and stronger than anything he ever thought was possible. He loved you with his soul. And he wanted to express his feeling to you, wanted to ask you to marry him when Simon died, but you broke things off and broke his heart first.

“So you have just grown feelings for Amy?” You questioned.

“Of course. I didn’t plan to but I have. I want to make her happy.”

“Fred can do that.”

“Fred can’t offer her happiness. And if I marry her you can still be in her life. You two can still care for each other.”

You blinked at him in shock. “You know about us?”

“I’ve always known. Have you forgotten? Amy might not have known when we were children about her feelings for you, but I saw them.”

“But you didn’t see hers for you?” You scoffed.

“No, I just assumed she only had eyes for you.”

You scoffed again, but then again you never saw her feelings for you, only her eyes for Laurie. “So you’ve known about our feelings for each other and still tried to marry her.”

“I am not trying to take her away from you. What do you think I am trying to do.”

“I don’t know. I can’t see you falling in love with Amy when you have been a drunk mess in her words.”

“I’ve gotten better. I’ve spent time with her and I see her for the wonderful person she is. I want more for her and with her.”

“Ah, so it seems you are just working your way through us all Theodore. Shall I write to Brooke’s and warn him that his wife is in danger or sweet Beth.”

“Don’t. You know it isn’t like that.”

“I obviously know nothing about who you are.”

“How could you say that? You know me, better than most.”

“No, I don’t. I know nothing about you and your fickle feelings.”

“You know I didn’t love Jo. I thought I did I thought what I felt for her was love true deep love but it wasn’t. But you-“ he paused and moved closer to you but you took a step away from him.

He threw his hands up. “I love you. Whether you let me say it or not. I love you. Deeper than I loved anyone in my life entire life.”

You scoffed, “And Amy? Is she just a toy for you to use? Someone to run to when you can’t have who you want.”

“I love her too. As I love you; with my whole being.” Laurie walked towards you this time and didn’t stop as you took steps back. “I love you as you, Amy as Amy, and both of you with every fiber of my soul.”

“Always a poet, Mr. Laurence,” you scoffed. You didn’t want to hear this.

“I love you both. Worship the grounds you walk on.” He grabbed your hand and placed it over his heart. “You know I am telling the truth.”

You looked away from him, feeling your heart quicken and your face heat. “And why is that?” You whispered.

He cupped your cheek making you turn back to face him. He smiled softly leaning closer until your nose bumped. “Because I know you feel the same for us as well. I know you love Amy It’s why you ran away to get married because you love her and…and it’s why you sent me away in London, because you love me.”

“Theo. So you’ve just decided that I love you,” you said softly.

“I wasn’t sure. I was hurt after you ended things, it wrecked me. Amy was not lying when she told you how bad I’ve been, but it wasn’t Jo that broke my heart, it was you. And I’ve avoided you since you arrived here. It was wrong and I felt awful as I started to fall for Amy, but the moment I walked into the room. I realized you are not just upset for Amy but because of her.”

You scoffed again, but you couldn’t deny his words when he was telling the truth to your face.

“You don’t believe I love Amy and you didn’t believe that I could love you, but I do. love you. I love Amy. And I want us all to be happy and together, is that too much to asked?”

“It is asking the impossible and you know it. That is not the world we live in.”

“Screw the world we make our own rules we have the money to go anywhere and be who we wish to be. All you have to do is let yourself have what you want.”

“I can not.”

“Why? Why can’t you? You have never been one to be so afraid unless you don’t love me. Have I gotten that wrong?”

You said nothing.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave and never bring this up again. Tell me your heart does not beat for me and I’ll leave you alone,” Laurie begged, his hands reaching on either side of your face, staring deeply into your eyes.

You feel tears run down your face. “Of course, I love you, Laurie. Goodness, I love you so much. I had to send you away. Every day I was falling more and more in love with you. Every night in your arms I wished for that to be our life forever.”

Laurie smiled widely, his eyes lighting up, shining with pure happiness. He kissed you so softly and sweetly that you felt light-headed. You kiss back in earnest, putting your hands on top of his that still resided on your face.

“W-What is going on in here?” A broken voice said causing you both to pull apart in shock to see Amy standing in the now-open doorway.

“Amy,” you gasped, dropping your hands from Laurie’s face.

“Amy it is not what it appears to be,” Laurie said and you could have slapped him in the face. Of course, it was what it appeared to be but he was not helping.

It seemed Amy shared your sentiment because she scoffed narrowing her eyes at you both. “Not what it looks like? You two were kissing and I heard you expressing your love to each other.”

“Amy please, let us explain,” you pleaded.

“Explain what? How the two people that claim they never want to hurt me, who want to see me happy are doing the exact thing they swear they wouldn’t,”

“Amy it is not like that,” Laurie said, moving closer to her. “I meant what I said earlier, I do care about you. I love you and wish to marry you.”

She shook her head and looked away from him to look at you. “And you? How could you do this to me? And with Laurie of all people.”

“Amy no, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t, goodness, just let us explain.”

“Explain then.” Amy crossed her arms and stared at you both.

You glanced at Laurie, but he looked incredibly frightened to say anything. You sighed, “I had an affair with Laurie in London,” You started shutting your eyes as Amy gasped in horror.

“It wasn’t a bad one,” Laurie chimed in, “She was lonely and I was and we needed comforting.

“Your poor husband,” Amy said shaking her head.

“He knew about it. It was his idea. He just wanted me to be happy to experience life. I was hurting from losing you and about to lose another best friend and Laurie was there. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, it just happened. So I broke things off when my feelings grew too down.”

“And That is when Laurie came back to Paris, depressed. Because he loved you and you hurt him.” Amy then laughed bitterly turning to glare sadly at Laurie. “So for you, I am a third option. Can’t have Jo, can’t have her, so you’ll settle for me?”

“No no. Amy that isn’t true. I never loved Jo. It is the two of you I love so much. I was hurt by her ending things and I came back because you are my friend and you always know how to cheer me up and then I realized I was falling for you as well.”

“You love us both? That is preposterous. You can not love us both.”

“Oh come on Amy, stop lying to yourself. You lied to me early, you love Theo. You always have.”

Her eyes stretched and she stuttered but nothing comprehensible came out. She stared between the two of you before looking away. “I am leaving,” she stated.

“No. You can’t leave, Amy please,’ Laurie said, reaching out and grabbing her hand.

She flinched away glaring at him. “No, you don’t get to tell me. Neither of you do. I can not do this with you, Either of you. I am marrying Fred, I won’t be involved with whatever you two are doing.”

“So you choose him? Why? You love me. You love Laurie. You said you wanted a way for us to be together in this society and to take care of your family. Laurie is the solution. You can marry him and not Fred. It will be perfect.”

“It will be a sham. I won’t have an affair with you while married. I told you that.”

“It won’t be an affair, we would be married, yes, but we will all be in a relationship. The marriage is one of love, but also one of show, so we can be ourselves and not be condemned.” Laurie stressed.

“No. You both lied to me and now you want me to marry you and we are to live happily ever after?” She cried.

“Lied to you? I never lied to you, Amy,” you stated.

“You knew why Laurie was acting strange. You never mentioned your relationship with him, Not ever after what you overheard today. And you Laurie, let me go on and on about Jo knowing it was not Jo who had broken your heart. I thought it was odd you both were avoiding each other, I thought it was to due that kiss as children but I see it was more. I feel like such a fool. You both toyed with me. Is that it? You both couldn’t have each other so went after me?”

“Of course, not, Amy. We would never?” Laurie said.

“We are sorry, Amy. We meant you no harm. We talked about all of us being together,” you added.

“Without me? Because Amy will get go along. Amy is a follower. Amy is desperate for the both of you she’ll do anything.”

“Stop putting words in our mouths. Amy, I understand you are hurt. I shouldn’t have kissed Laurie with our relationship going, I am truly sorry, but please don’t marry Fred when this is the perfect option, where we all can be happy.”

“I don’t want it. This life you two are offering. Not after hurting me. I am going to marry Fred and I wish to never see either of you again.”

You gasped and Laurie looked close to tears. “Amy you can’t mean that. You’ll just throw away our plans, our love, and friendship,” you questioned.

“You did the moment you decide to keep things from me.”

“You are behaving like a child.”

“No, I am being a responsible adult unlike the two of you,” she said walking to the door.

“Amy please don’t walk away from us. We love you, we can be happy. We can travel, get a house and live happily,” Laurie begged.

“No thank you. You two should live happily together. It is what you both deserved,” she spat.

“Fine. Go marry Fred, enjoy your life of being respected and playing by society’s rule,” You said.

“I will.”

“If you won’t marry me, then we’ll marry. Move to Italy and have a life together,” Laurie said taking your hand.

Amy glanced at you both and then at your joint hands. Rivers of tears ran down her pretty cheeks, breaking both your and Laurie’s heart. “Then so be it,” she whispered then left the room.

Amy could barely see as she ran as fast as she could back to the home she was staying in with Aunt March. She always knew she couldn’t have Laurie and one day she would have to give you up and possibly watch you fall in love with someone else, but the idea of you both already loving each other tore her in half.

She was scared and hurt and she couldn’t fathom the offer, which she knew was a good one, but her pain was too raw for her to see that. She ran to her room and threw herself into her bed sobbing her heart out.

Her tears ran down her face for hours until she was too numb to sob and her tears all cried out. She thought about just days earlier when she was happy when she was wrapped up in her love and fantasy future.

“I have never had any sort of, you know before,” Amy flushed bright red. You both were inside your bedroom. You two kissed for hours and when your hands wandered to her waist causing her to flush and pull away.

“Oh, Amy we do not have to do any of that, I just like being with you,” you said, leaning closer to capturing her lips.

She kissed back before pulling away. “Does it work the same way as with a man?” She asked curiously.

“I wouldn’t know. I have never been with another woman. You are the only woman I’ve ever had eyes for,” you chuckled. “I think it would be different considering... Um, the differences.”

“I am not sure I know how it works with men. Meg tried to explain it once, but it freaked me out,” she said embarrassed.

“It freaked me out as well. My mother made me read a book about it, said it was to prepare me for my wedding night,” you explained.

“Was it painful? With Simon?” She asked.

“My first time was not as painful as I thought. I enjoyed it,” you said. Laurie was incredibly gentle and you were forever grateful for it.

“I do not want my first sexual experience to be with Fred. Can we try something, I want it to be with someone I love.”

You nodded. “We can learn and explore together,” you said, getting off the bed to remove your clothes, you could hear Amy doing the same. By the time you were done, you turned around to see Amy with her hair down, covering her chest.

You grinned getting back into bed and crawling to be in front of her. “Don’t cover up, you are beautiful,” you said, kissing her forehead.

“Don’t make me blush,” she whined.

“I like seeing you blush,” you said, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the bed with you. You laid her down and hovered over her. “I love you, Amy,”

“ I love you, sweet girl,” she said, kissing you again. The kiss quickly grew hungrier and hungrier and you bit her lower lip causing her to moan and arch against you. Causing her core to rub against yours.

You both moan and quickly fell into a rhythm of upward and downward grinds to chase after that feeling. Your kiss grew sloppy as you both moaned and got lost in the pleasure.

“Something happening, it’s building, what is it?” she asked.

“It’s okay, it will feel good,” you said. You quickly moved one of your hands between you both, rubbing the little button you knew would make her see stars. Amy gasped, her hips moving quicker.

“Yes, please that feels amazing. Don’t stop sweet girl don’t stop,” she begged.

“Never,” you said, attaching your lips to one of her nipples.

When Amy came it was with a loud moan of your name and her thighs squeezing together. Her eyes rolled back in her hand and her nose wrinkled in the most Amy way possible.

You moaned grinding faster against her spamming body until you reached your own peak, your lips coming down on hers. “I love you, Amy, so much. Always.”

“I love you too, my sweet girl.”

You moved to lay by her side, pulling her close. Your chin rested on her shoulder and your hands were around her waist. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“I wish there was a way we could be together, A way for everything to work out for us. I want us,” she whispered.

You dropped a kiss to her shoulder, tightening your hold around her. “Maybe one day.”

“I hope sooner rather than later. I want to be with you forever.”

You hummed softly, “Like we said when we were younger. When we said we would run away together?”

She giggled turning around in your arms. “Yes, like that. We can go anywhere in the world. Be like those women you once told me about.”

“I would like that very much.”

“Me too.”

“You rejected Fred? Amy, I thought you were the smart one of your sisters,” Aunt March huffed the moment Amy walked into the room. It was only days after her fight with the two of you. The ache she felt without you both was hard to ignore. She’s always had one of you in her life and it was strange to know you both were gone. That she forced you out of her life.

“He has money, a good head on his shoulder and you reject him,” Aunt March continued to rant. “It makes no sense. Have you fallen ill with something or are you just stupid?”

Amy ignored her as she took a seat on the sofa. She started down at her hands. Her bare hands. Fred’s ring was beautiful. The life he was offering was beautiful, perfect, and everything she always hoped for. At least that is what she thought she wanted.

He was nice enough. He would be a good husband, a good provider, and a father. He would grow to love her because, as much as he claimed he did, he did not love her. And she could even grow to love him, but it wouldn’t be the sort of love Meg had with John, her parents had with each other. The love you and Laurie had for each other, had for her.

“Honestly, Amy. You were supposed to help your sisters out. Take care of them, they need the money. Instead, you ruin a good thing, and for what reason, hmm?”

“Aunt March,” Amy said cutting her off, “Why did you never marry?”

Aunt March stuck up her nose and turned her head away from her slightly. “I didn’t have to. I had money. I didn’t waste it away like some people.”

Amy took a deep breath to ignore the obvious comment about her family. “Yes but did you never want to marry? Meet someone you wanted to be with? You’ve never been in love.”

“Amy tell me you are not burdened with love?” She said as if she was speaking about a terminal illness.

“Have you, Aunt March?” Amy asked desperately.

Aunt March looked at Amy. Really looked at her and saw what she knew will be there. A sad young woman in love. A look she once saw in a mirror. She sighed deeply, before turning to Amy completely.

“Josephine might have been named after me, but you are the most like me, Amy,” she said softer than Amy had ever heard her speak. Her face was one of sadness and regret, sorrow and pain.

“I loved once. Someone, so deeply I feel them in my bones. I knew them by smell alone. Their foot pattern and their breathing. I was young when we met and it was like love at first sight as dramatic as the term is, it applied.”

“What happened why didn’t you marry?” Amy asked, leaning forward and hanging onto her every word.

“Because I am like you, Amy,” she said.

“Like me?”

“Times were harsher than now. You can live in Europe with a close friend and not get so many looks. Women are choosing to not marry and single women together don’t raise too many looks. And the Laurance boy would protect you both.”

Amy’s eyes widened slightly at both Aunt March’s confession and her knowing about her feelings for both Laurie and you.

“Oh don’t give me that look, Amy March. It is obvious by the way you three of you are together. She has been in love with you forever, and you with Laurie, and now the three of you are whatever you are. I thought you would never act on it. That you would marry Fred and have that life. This choice you are making Amy does not come easy. While it is more of a norm here, it doesn’t mean it is not without issues.”

“But I love them and I don’t care. I want to be happy. I want happiness and them. Money and pretty things, being content and taking care of the family, it’s nothing if I can’t have them,” Amy sobbed, “But I ruined things. They hurt me and I hurt them, and it’s awful and messy, but it is what I want. I want to fight with them, make up with them, cry, and love with them.”

“And what about your family? Your sisters?”

“It is not my job to take care of them. I know I am being selfish, but I get to be selfish with my life do I not? I must live for myself and be happy. I love my sisters and I will try to help and support them. I will get a job teaching or selling my work.”

“Hmm.”

“What. Say something.”

“Both of them are quite well off.”

“I am not going to be with them for their money.”

“No no, but their money is a plus,” Aunt March, grasped both of Amy’s hands. “I will help your sisters, you should go. Be the strong Amy that you’ve grown into, and the whimsical, romantic Amy you have always been. The Brave March, I was not.”

Amy reached over and threw her arms around Aunt March’s shoulder. “Oh Aunt March, who knew you were such a softie,” Amy said kissing her cheeks, laughing as Aunt March groaned and tried to pull away.

“Yes yes, just keep it to yourself,” she said, patting her cheek. “Now, you have two people to go see.”

Amy pulled away grinning widely. “Yes, I do.”

You walked hand and hand with Laurie down the street in Italy. Neither of you happy to be in the city you two talked about so long ago. The pain of losing Amy, really losing her weighed you both down.

“This is my fault,” Laurie said softly.

You looked over at him in shock. “Theo, it is not your fault. It is both of our fault. We should have told Amy the truth or maybe not been so harsh with her, she is a sensitive woman.”

“I was the mean one. Asking her to marry me like that. And then roping you into it.

“And I am a woman with my own agency. You didn’t force me, Theo. I was harsh as well. I was the one that was with her and then kissed you. She should hate me forever for it.”

Laurie looked down and squeezed your hand. “I am glad that we are together.”

You smiled, squeezing his back. “Me too. I am very happy right now. It’s not something I’ve truly been in a long time.”

“I was only this happy in London,” he confessed. “I brought a ring then. One to ask you to marry me.”

“What? Theo no? Oh, I am so very sorry. I was horrible to you.”

“No. don’t be sorry. I suppose it was for the best. I got to fall in love with Amy and be close to her. And you got to know her feelings. You got to experience being in love with her and her loving you back.”

“Hey, she loved you as well.”

“But I was too stupid to see it,” he sighed.

“And I was too stupid in London to see you loved me.”

“We both are pale with this sickness then,” he said happily and swinging your hands back and forward.

You giggled, “I suppose we are. Someone should write a song about it,” you teased.

“My music is no good.”

“Oh lies, I saw the notebook back in the desk at home, you are talented. You just need to believe in yourself.”

“You saw that?” He asked, flushing.

“Yes, a few pieces about a pretty blonde in blue. Another is about the love of London. I am awfully curious about what those ones are about.”

Laurie, grabbed your waist, tickling you. “You little monster,” he chuckled as he watched you squirm. You giggled loudly trying to get away. People walking past you both stared some laughing along, others in distaste, but neither of you cared.

When Laurie stopped his attack he retook your hand. “Let’s go home?”

You nodded. While you two didn’t discuss marrying each other you both did want to spend time in Italy and Laurie’s former home was beautiful and you knew how much it meant to him to be back.

Walking into the house you smiled warmly at Laurie, kissing him sweetly. “Shall I make us something for dinner or should we go back out later”

Laurie shrugged, “I don’t know. I might want to keep you in my bed all night long.”

“Oh Mr. Laurence, you deviant,” you chuckled, pushing his hands away as there was a knock on the door.

“Whoever it is get rid of them, you are mine,” he said, rounding the corner and giving you a wink.

You rolled your eyes at his playfulness and opened the door, only to be completely shocked about who was standing on the other side. “Amy? What are you doing here?”

Seeing Amy on your door steps was the last thing you thought you see. Yet there she stood, her hair down and her eyes wide, and her hands wringing in front of her. Her eyes darted all over your face and behind you before dropping to her hands.

Laurie moved into the foyer after hearing your words. He stood behind you, his hands resting on either side of your hips, tapping his pointer finger on your bone, a nervous habit you noticed.

Amy looked from you to Laurie then her eyes dropped to his hands on your waist. Her lips turned down in her perfect pout. “I had to tell you guys, something.”

“What is it?” Laurie asked.

She closed her eyes for a moment, balling her hands into fists before taking a deep breath and opening her eyes. “I was wrong about the poets,” she said.

“What?” you were confused and slightly worried that maybe Amy had lost her marbles, when Laurie pressed closer to you, forcing you both closer. “You’ve changed your mind?” He said softly, a bit of hope in his tone.

“Yes. I still believe that we have some power over who we love, but sometimes it happens unexpectedly. Sometimes you fall in love simply because it is meant to be. It isn’t a choice to fall in love, but it is a choice to fight for your love. To fight for happiness, equality, and love.”

You and Laurie looked at each other for a moment. Having no idea what to say to her confession. Your mind was running a mile a minute but only one thing repeated over and over and your head.

Amy was here.

“I turned down Fred’s proposal.” She continued. “And that was because I couldn’t live a life of lie. I couldn’t put myself aside for someone else. I don’t want a marriage of economic propositions. I rather never marry than be unhappy in marriage. I don’t want marriage if I can’t have it with you both. I love you both. And you don’t have to say anything but I needed to let you both know. I need-”

You pushed yourself out of Laurie’s hold and pressed your lips to Amy's. You kissed her as if you would never kiss her again as if this was the last day on earth. As if all the oxygen was gone except for the one in her body. “Amy March, you speak too much,” you laughed, feeling tears run down your face.

Amy was crying as well. She released a cross between a laugh and a sob. “I know I know. I ramble sometimes and I talk too much but that is because I am passionate and this is important and you should talk about things that are important to you and you are-”

“Oh Amy, please,” Laurie chuckled, taking your place and pulling her into a kiss. His hand cupped the side of her face. His other hand reached back to tangle in yours. Laurie squeezed your hand and you couldn’t help but laugh and squeezes his back.

Amy pulled away flushing and you grinned grabbing her and pulling them both into the house. “Amy I am so happy you are here. My life would not be complete without you,” you said.

“Neither would mind,” Laurie said.

“My life is not a life without either of you,” Amy said, wrapping her arms around both your waists and hugging you both tightly.

You sighed happily hugging them both to you. Your eyes closed as you let yourself get lost in the hold of the two people you loved most in the world.

“So are we doing this,” Laurie asked, pulling back from the hug and looking at both of you.

Amy looked between the two of you and nodded. “Yes, more than anything.”

You smiled nodding. “You already know my answer.”

“Good we have a lot to talk about and work out but for now, I just want to be with you both.”

You chuckled at the dark look in his eyes, one you have seen multiple times and Laurie flushed at your words. He was still so embarrassed of his desires and you just found him more enduring and attractive.

Amy glanced between the two of you. She pouted as she felt as if she was left out of some conversation. Seeing her pout, you cup her face kissing her until she melts against you. “Amy, my dove, sweet Theo wants to spend time together.”

She nodded still lost.

“Naked in bed,” you added. You laughed at they both turned red. Amy glanced over at Laurie and he found the marble floors much more interesting.

“Will it be like when we did it?” She asked. Laurie’s head snapped up at her words, his mouth hanging open slightly.

You smirked at him, grabbing her hand. “It will be much better.” You held out your other hand for Laurie and tugged them both towards the bedroom. Once you closed the door, you stared at both of them.

Laurie was bouncing on his heels as his eyes jumped from your frame to Amy’s. He looked so excited both you and Amy shared a look shaking your heads at him. “Don’t have a secret conversation about me,” he pouted.

“Poor Theo,” you said walking towards the bed. You slowly began undressing your outer layers, but they both jumped in helping you to undress. And then you and Amy turned your attentions to Laurie, undressing him quickly.

Now both naked, you and Laurie turned to Amy. She giggled nervously and you smiled pressing yourself against her back while Laurie did the same to her front. “Relax Amy, we have you,” Laurie said, as he unbutton her corset.

“We will take care of you. We will make sure you are having a good time,” you said, undoing the bows and knots.

“I trust you both,” she said.

Once all three of you were undressed you all moved to the bed. Amy in the middle with you and Laurie on either side of her. Laurie grabbed the back of your head and kissed you deeply.

You groaned against his lips as he bite your lower lip and tugged your hair slightly. You melt into the kiss and his touch, lost in Laurie’s orbit. A hand stroking your thigh and Laurie’s deep moan had you breaking away to look down at Amy.

She was stroking your thigh and running her finger along Laurie’s cock. “What do you call this?” she whispered to him.

He bit his lip, his breath hitching. “Um, it’s um it’s called a penis or a cock.”

She nodded. You wrapped your hand around hers and help her stroke his cock slowly. Laurie hissed causing you both to look up at him. “I won’t last long if you both keep this up,” he chuckled.

You and Amy giggled and you released her hand, pushing her shoulder back until she lay flat on the bed. You situated yourself between her thighs, kissing her heatedly. You moaned and Amy grabbed your hips and grinding against you.

Laurie’s hand slid over both your shoulders, before going down your spine, causing you to shiver. Rubbing the head of his cock between the two of you his hands interlocked with Amy’s on your hips.

“Please, Theo,” you begged, against Amy’s lips.

“What is he going to do?” She asked, her eyes dark with lust and dancing with eagerness.

You grinned down at her. “Something amazing,” you said, dragging your lips along the side of her face, biting little love marks into her jaw.

Raising your hips slightly Laurie, pushing his cock between your bodies rocking his hips and moaning as he slid against both your soaking cores. Moaning you bit down harder on Amy causing her to cry out.

“Sorry, my dove,” you ran your tongue over the area in apology.

“No I like it bit me more,” she said, moving her hands to Laurie’s ass and pulling him closer. Laurie’s ball slapped loudly against your ass along with the sounds of your slick as it dripped from you to Laurie’s cock and down onto Amy.

Laurie groaned picking up speed and pressed his body against yours so he could kiss Amy. You reached between your bodies and rubbed both your nerves Each thrust in had your fingers brushing Laurie’s sensitive head.

“So close, not going to last much longer,” He groaned into her mouth.

“Me either, faster, please,” you moaned.

Amy shudders under you both. The weight of your body felt crushing, but she still wanted more of you both. She wanted you closer. She spread her legs wider, looping one of her legs around your calf and the other around Laurie’s waist.

“Oh, Dio,” Laurie breathed, as he came, shooting cum all over your lower stomach and and soaking you both more. Amy moaned, throwing her head back and scrunching her nose as she came, you followed quickly after her.

Laurie thrust sloppily a few more times before rolling off of you onto the bed. Taking deep breaths you rolled off of Amy. You all lay in silence for a few minutes as you all tried to catch your breath.

And then Laurie started laughing, causing you both to look over at him. He continued to laugh, covering his hands with his face. You sat up on your elbows to look at him closely. Amy's eyebrows pinched together, sitting up as well.

“Laurie, what is so funny?” She asked.

“Yes, let us in on the joke,” you said, draping your arm over her hips and blinking expectantly at him.

He chuckled, removing his hand, and turned to face you both. “I was just thinking about the day Amy fell into the water.”

“What? Why?” You laughed.

“She fell in and we went in to save her. All three of us soaking wet and laid on the ice like this. I remember being so terrified but then Amy complained about her ruined dress and we all laughed.”

You snorted, laughing as well.

“It was a pretty dress. And it was new,” she defended.

“You almost died,” Laurie stressed laughing.

You joined in kissing her shoulder. “I was terrified too but it was one of my favorite days with the two of you.”

Amy laughed as well, wrapping herself around Laurie. “We all got cocoa at home and sat by the fire for hours just talking. All my sisters were out with Marmee and I got you both to myself.”

“And now you have us forever,” Laurie said, kissing her forehead then he pressed one to yours.

Grabbing the blanket you wrapped it around all of you, snuggling close together. You all needed to wash up and the sheets would need to be changed but that could wait until after a nap. You closed your eyes, laying your head on Amy’s shoulder as she laid hers on Laurie’s chest. As you drifted off you couldn’t help but think.

Amy loved you.

Amy loved Laurie.

She was here in Italy.

Amy was with you and Laurie.

Amy and Laurie

Amy and Laurie.

You, Amy, Laurie.

Taglist.

@gatoenlaciudad

@iloveneilperry

@valencia-rou

@s-we-e-t-t-ea

@robertpattins0nswh0re

#timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet imagine #laurie laurence x reader #laurie x amy #laurie x amy x reader #laurie x reader #amy march x reader #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet smut #laurie smut #smut

410 notes · View notes

poppadom0912 · 6 months

Text

Together (X)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injuries, abuse, kidnappings, shootings, swearing and scary men.

Summary: Everyone's reunited at last and are never letting go.

A/N: This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I just wanna reiterate how much fun writing this has been and how much i appreciate all the love and support you've shown this series.

It's a bit too late for my liking but I've only now finished writing. This week was so busy for me but I promised and here it is!

Enjoy the last 2.5k words of angst because the epilogue is next!!🙃😊

Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter

Kelly was bursting through the seams with anxiety. The entire time while responding to the car pile-up, he was riddled with it and the tension he harboured carried through to everyone else.

It put him at somewhat ease to know at least Sylvie and Violet were with you as well as Intelligence and then eventually everyone at Med. You were going to be surrounded by people you loved and vice versa.

When the scene started to get cleared up, Boden wasted no time and let Kelly go, urging him to take his buggy and promising everyone would be there once everything was finished.

The second Kelly stepped into the ED, April was at his side and guiding him towards the ICU where you were being kept for now. On the way up, she carefully explained what she knew and warned him about your appearance.

Kelly didn't know what to think till he saw your face for himself and God, he wanted to bring hell onto earth.

Jay heard his soft steps, picking up his head from the back of the chair. Kelly wouldn't say it to his face, but Jay looked horrible, eye bags dark and sullen, hair uncombed and frizzy and injury wise, the bandages told him enough. Somehow, Jay looked worse than what he did yesterday when Kelly last saw him.

Upon seeing the lieutenant, Jay tiredly smiled at him, easing himself out of his chair and half limped out the room with the IV pole in his left hand. Kelly went forward hastily to help him, telling him to sit back down or help him out the room into another seat but Jay shrugged him off, weakly pushing his efforts away.

“Go be with my sister you dumbass. April’s here to help me, don’t worry.”

And with that, he watched his childhood friend help support his supposed soon to be brother-in-law down the white hallways of the intensive care unit.

Kelly's eyes burned when he first caught sight of you. The last time he saw you was on the video he'd been sent of you screaming as you were being beaten up.

Gosh, Kelly had felt so helpless and still feels as such.

Sitting in the chair Jay had previously been inhabiting, Kelly took his time to fully study you, memorising every feature of your face once again in fear of having you ripped out his grasp again.

You looked so different. Kelly knew your body by the back of his hand and had your every single detail down to the cell engraved into the forefront of his mind. You looked so different but so recognisable, there was no mistaking that this sleeping woman was indeed you.

Six hours ago, everyone was ready to mourn the oldest and the youngest Halstead. Despite the resilience Intelligence bleed, everyone had been told to prepare for the worst and six hours ago, all hope was lost and giving up seemed so sweet but so sour it still stung now.

Kelly hesitated, hand hovering mid-air over yours, eyes cast down on your battered body that he could only see little of. Healing scabs and scars alike marred your hands, the sight making him falter, wondering if it was even a good idea to hold your hand. But then the last two days flashed in his eyes and without another thought, he gently placed your hand in his.

Relief washed over him in waves, flooding his veins. This sensation felt so bittersweet, the sweet poking the tears from his eyes and the bitter nipping at his ankles. To have you back in his vicinity, to have you back home, Kelly never wanted anything so badly before in his life. Despite this, you had been through the ringer, experiencing pain like no other, pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.

Actually, the Murray’s deserve worse, maybe the devil himself. Hell and a bit more sounded sufficient enough.

With his hand safely enveloping yours, Kelly felt himself calming down. Even with all the machinery beeping around him, to feel your pulse against his fingers made this dream a reality.

Soft knocking brought him out of his thoughts. Reluctantly pulling his eyes away from you, Kelly found Sylvie standing at the door with two coffees in hand, Violet nowhere in sight.

“Maggie said I can’t give this to Jay, so…” Sylvie said, dragging the word as she held out the paper cup towards him, shrugging her shoulders sheepishly when Kelly smirked in amusement.

“Thanks Brett.” Kelly smiled, gladly taking the caffeine from her hands, and drinking with no hesitation. Truth be told, no one in the firehouse slept much last night, they had too much playing on their minds.

“Crocket said surgery went well.” Sylvie started, standing by your head, fingers caressing your hair as she gently pulled each tangle apart one by one. “I know it doesn’t look like it but she’s going to be fine.”

There was a pregnant pause, Sylvie’s attention diverted and solely on detangling your matted hair before bringing a washcloth that sat on the table to get rid of any residue and dirt stuck on your face. Her trained fingers were put to work, her eyes not once leaving your face as she continued without stopping.

“She’s going to be just fine.”

*****

Kevin was overwhelmed, so was Kim and Hailey but much less so than the aforementioned man. The rest of the team, well they were off busy with the Murray’s and their many, many (somehow attained) henchmen.

The two women were bystanders in it all, coming much later and missing out the most brutal parts. The same could not be said for Kevin and Will.

The two men were following Jay out the warehouse but at a much slower pace. Kevin was supporting Will as best he could, apologising every time the doctor winced and faltered in his steps. Eventually, Jay got so far ahead that he disappeared and very likely was already outside and getting you into the single ambulance waiting.

All of a sudden, the silence that was only interrupted by Will expressing his pain was intruded by gunfire.

They really couldn’t catch a break, could they?

Will apparently remembered the hallways and pointed out a dead-end corridor for them to take cover in and despite his pain riddled brain, he wasn’t wrong.

Without any hesitation, Kevin drew his gun from his holster and shot when necessary and whenever he found someone lurking nearby. Without diverting his attention, he grabbed his walkie and called for backup, relaying both in code and not what was happening.

Eventually when some time had passed, way too long for Kevin to be comfortable with, Kim and Hailey appeared from around the corner, guns held up in caution before they lowered at the sight of the officer.

Despite having everything under control, Kevin felt better having his colleagues with him now that Jay was gone. With their help, together they could probably get Will out quicker.

Now that everything calmed down, Kevin could finally solely put his focus onto said man. Turning his back to the two women, Kevin went to talk to the redhead but found himself speechless at the sight he was met with.

Lord knows how but up above was a window that some crazy henchman busted his way through and had silently landed on the ground behind him. The man was dressed in all black, blonde hair pocking from the mask he wore armed with both a gun and knife.

Worst of all, the unnamed and very much unwelcomed man was way too close to Will for Kevin's liking.

Before Kevin could properly take care of the dude, a shot was fired, and the man fell very ungracefully onto the solid floor, the sound of the impact making all the intelligence personnel internally wince.

With the nuisance out of the way and no more pathetic distractions, Kevin turned to the redheaded man once again and the sight made him sick. So sick that he had to bite his tongue and hold back any bile from coming up.

Kim and Hailey clearly felt the same, both gasping from behind him.

The annoying man had been left ‘alone’ with Will for plenty long enough because along with all his injuries, another gaping wound had been added. Will was riddled in open wounds, the longer you stared the worse they looked. This one, instead of sitting among the others in his torso, was nicely placed in his thigh which conveniently was just above where Jay had been shot.

It seemed very convenient that every place on his body that had a wound were the places that bled the most. Will was having so much fun right now.

“Shit! Will!” Kevin rushed to kneel down before the slouched man. Chucking his gun and radio aside, quite carelessly, his brain short circuited before everything kicked in.

“Pressure.” Will coughed out, visibly struggling to keep breathing steadily. “You- you need to put pressure on it.” He repeated, wheezing as he liked his chapped and pale lips.

Without question, Hailey hastily took off the thin jacket she was wearing, rushing forward, and kneeling besides Kevin. With caution and slight apprehension, she positioned the jacket around his thigh but hesitated when she was supposed to tie it.

“This is going to hurt Will.” She said firmly, her strong tone warning him.

“The tighter…” Will started, slowly blinking up at the blonde woman who he knew secretly liked his brother and vice versa. “The better.”

And with that, Hailey tied the simplest knot and pulled hard.

“Fuck!” Will exclaimed, voice breaking. “Motherfucker-“

“Sorry! I’m so sorry but it’s all done.” Hailey incessantly apologised to him; her remorse visible on her face but before she could get up, she was stopped by a hand gripping her wrist.

“You have to go tighter.” Will stated, his fingers clutching her wrist as tight as he could but Hailey barely felt any weight. “Just like a torniquet. It has- has to be tight or else…”

“Will, stay with us man.” Kevin said, his tone leaking with urgency, almost pleading him. “You’re the doctor, walk us through it.”

Forcing his eyes open, Will blearily started at the three of them. His mind was completely muddled and subconsciously, he incredulously wondered how they hadn’t been trained to make a tourniquet in the field.

“Belt?”

Without further say, Kevin was getting up to unbuckle his belt easier, Kim replacing his space.

With much struggled, many pauses and tons of encouragement, they kept him alert enough for him to guide them through making a tourniquet around his thigh. The pain was unbearable, altogether it was blinding.

“I’m so sorry Will.” Kim whispered, sitting in front of him but she was alone with him, Kevin and Hailey gone off to find what was taking the medical attention so long to arrive. “Just a little longer I swear.”

“Jay! Stop panicking.”

“Hailey, it’s Will-“

“We’ve got him, go be with Y/N.”

“But Will- are you sure?”

“He’s trying his best, okay? Go be with our girl.”

And that might’ve been the last thing Will heard, the faint shouting between the two detective partners. Kim’s voice actually, he heard that last, her shouts for help when his eyes slid shut.

Actually, Jay’s desperate pleading, that was the last thing he heard.

*****

"It was part of protocol we run a rape kit."

Kelly couldn't breathe. His only saving grace being that Jay wasn't currently in the room with him.

"It came out clean."

Kelly physically deflated at the good news.

"It's going to take a while but she will recover. They both will." Ethan said, having permission from Crocket to tell him the news.

"And no one's heard anything about Will yet?"

The silence was so suffocating, if Kelly squinted, he could probably see Ethan turning blue from the lack of oxygen.

"We've been told we're waiting on a body. They want us to confirm it."

Kelly didn't need to ask for Ethan to break it down for him. He knew exactly what that meant.

If he looked the Korean man in the eye, Kelly would definitely see a thin sheen of tears coating his eyes.

*****

Antonio had been doing this for a long time, he’d seen and been through a lot himself but this, this would stay with him for a long time.

The guttural screams that tore his vocal cords to further damage. The blood trailed after him like the bread from Hansel and Gretel, painting the crime scene a war zone. His cries begging to know his baby brother and sister were safe and, in a hospital, where they could recover.

They were watching the innocent doctor become a martyr right before their very own eyes.

What happened next could only be explained by pure, sheer will and determination.

While they were hounding for an ambulance, Antonio caught men getting escorted away in cuffs, all looking identical until the final two men left the building. The rage he felt, Antonio didn’t know how any of them remained stationary.

It was a miracle Will came back to consciousness. When he closed his eyes and his body went limp, everyone truly thought that was it, after everything the Halstead’s had done to survive, this was the unhappy ending they were getting. But then, Will gave the biggest middle finger to fate because after all of this, she could be damned for all he could care.

Will remained alert enough, being continuously roused by each of the remaining intelligence members when they noticed his eyelids sliding shut. They tried distracting him, updating him on the wellbeing of his siblings, news that was happily provided.

The only ones that remained was Antonio and Kevin. The rest had been forced to accompany Jay just in case, they were all preparing for the worse case scenario. And Hank, he was making sure the bastards never got to see the light of day ever again.

Ten minutes passed. By now, it had been two hours since they got on the scene and an hour since they raided the warehouse. The more Will struggled; the more Antonio was losing his patience. Right before the naked eye, out in the open for the entire universe to see, Will was bleeding out; he was dying. Death was looming, crawling from a mile away but its stench was strong, it’s shadow too close for comfort.

Making eye contact with Kevin, they had a silent conversation and with no argument, they were lifting Will up and nearly carrying him towards the car.

This was their last chance and they weren’t going to wait for that ambulance anymore.

And for once, fate guided them with a beaming light. She overturned the hatred she'd shown and led them safely, holding out a much-needed lifeline.

And so when the car screeched to a halt at Med’s ambulance bay doors, Will found it easier to breathe.

Series Masterlist:

@mads-weasley @sowrongitslottie @elite4cekalyma @senjoritanana @hufflepuff-blackwidow @mrspeacem1nusone @kmc1989 @goth-cowgirl-03 @daggersquadphantom @photographerkaiya0306 @jamie0515 @samanthavitale @iamasimpingh0e @lanea-1 @swidkid @jamie0515

#one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #jay halstead x reader #onechicago #chicago fire #chicago med #chicago pd #will halstead x reader #halstead sister #halstead brothers #kelly severide x reader #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x sister!reader

163 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

am i the asshole for cutting off my mentally unstable friend without any explanation whatsoever?

(🧠🌩️ so i can find it)

tw for abuse and cheating mentions

ok typing out that title makes me feel like i might be TA to, like, some degree but just hear me out first.

i (19, f) was in my first semester of college when i met rachel (20). we shared a class and grew to be friends over our shared nerdy interests. i admittedly didn't really like her that much at first and didn't consider her to be that close of a friend. she was really just someone to talk to when class got boring or we had a break or something.

i was actually kinda regretting talking to her at all because i clocked that she was a little unstable almost immediately; she was very quick to anger and constantly talked about fighting people that had ""wronged"" her (which included our professor who she was convinced was out to get her for some reason?? idk why our prof was a really nice lady), constantly trauma dumped without asking (i'm talking like early into our relationship too. first day we met she was ranting about her abusive mother and her childhood trauma and stuff), and always found a way to turn the focus of the conversation about her any time i tried to talk about myself or anything that wasn't our shared interests. the only reason i gave her my number is bc she asked for it and i didn't know how to turn her down without hurting her feelings--i'd been planning on ghosting the second our class ended.

so we continued to talk/text for like a year and (at her insistence) met up for lunch in between class the following semester. i warmed to her a little at this point so it wasn't too bad; at the very least her constant drama gave me something to talk about with my real friends, and like i said i didn't really know how to cut her off in a way that wouldn't start something.

so time goes on and she shuffles through a few boyfriends--all who either cheated on her or were inattentive/verbally abusive. she constantly asked me for advice, which was confusing bc she never listened to it? like she asked me if she should take back her ex who cheated on her 3x and i said "no that sounds like an awful idea" and then she exploded at me and screamed that i could 'go fuck myself' and to 'stay the fuck outta her business bc it's her fucking life and not mine'. but then the minute he (predictably) cheated on her again and dumped her guess who had to sit with her on the phone for 2 hours while she cried? yep. me!

this kinda bullshit continued all the way up to a few months ago. she met a new guy, told me all about how he was "the one" and "he's gonna be different this time" blah blah blah. at this point i genuinely stopped giving a fuck about her and her problems. the only reason i hadn't cut her off was because my other friends loved hearing about her drama secondhand and i admittedly did enjoy making fun of her with them. which i know is kinda shitty but at least she'll never find out about it?

anyways, shit starts to get particularly juicy bc two months into rachel's relationship with this new dude he proposes. and she accepts (?!!) not only that but she informs me (not asks. INFORMS) me that i will be a bridesmaid. and i panicked and just said "uhhh cool i'm so happy for you!!" so this is the point where i decide that i need to end this relationship bc having to attend her wedding is just not something i wanna be apart of and i felt that if i went through with that it would solidify our ''friendship'' in her mind and i'd never be rid of her.

so i stop responding to her texts as frequently and began ducking her calls. didn't have to stop initiating bc i never initiated convos with her in the first place. i'd answer every once in a while bc she would start spamming that she was having ""emergencies!!!"" which. they never were true emergencies; she just wanted to vent about her fiance and his shitty family or something his ex-wife did to piss her off (her fiance was like 20 and divorced twice with three kids. YIKES) and i'd listen until she got tired of talking and ended the call. not once did she ever ask about me btw. at this point she wasn't even to pretend to care about me or my life; i was just her dumping grounds for all her trauma and venting.

i thought she might've got the message that we were done bc she hadn't texted for like a month, but a few days ago i recieved a message that said something like "omg i haven't heard from you in a while, are you okay??" and. i'm not sure if i can put into words the sheer amount of exasperation and annoyance those words filled me with. like i could tell right off the bat it was just a ploy so she could get me talking and then vent and saddle me with all her stupid emotional bullshit. so i blocked her, finally. this shouldn't cause any problems bc she dropped out of school last semester (she was failing so she decided to start her own business).

the thing is, i know that she's mentally not well. she is very erratic and immature, add that to the fact that she's gone through a lot of trauma throughout her life and the end result is a deeply flawed person. at the same time i'm not responsible for her mental health and continuing to play friends with her what i don't even like her in the first place seems disingenuous. but she's got abandonment issues, so me doing this is probably gonna hurt her. although me being honest and saying that i can't stand her and her drama anymore probably wouldn't feel any better.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

136 notes · View notes

romanarose · 6 months

Text

Used

Marc Spector x GN!reader

Join my tag list!

Moon Knight masterlist

Summary: Marc and you enjoy rough sex, but when Marc asks you to try something new, it quickly goes downhill.

Warnings and Content: reverences to BDSM, Dom/sub, whipping with a belt, Marc's abusive childhood, references to self-harm in the past, mention of self-harm scars, just.... a lot of talk about self-harm. Misuse of BDSM. Breach of trust in a D/s dynamic, miscommunication. This isn't meant to be a perfect or even good D/s relationship or relationship in general. this is a relationship that is struggling right now. Don't look to fanfiction for sex and relationship advice. Marc is self-destructing, reader isn't the best at handling it but the are trying. Lots of crying lmfao. If I miss anything LMK but really this is a proceed at your own caution situation as I've at least laid out the basic themes.

Immersability: Marc can pick up reader. I think that's it? I usually write Fem!reader but there really wasn't a reason to make this fem so I put GN!reader this time. If I accidentally fem coded something lmk.

*****************

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

Marc looked up from his food he had barely eaten. You’d made him his favorite: chicken strips and fries. Marc was a picky eater due to his sensory issues so you were happy to have simple little meals when Marc was fronting for dinner. He’d been absent for a few days, only fronting when Steven and Jake insisted. You’d been worried, after all. The last night you and Marc had together hadn’t ended well, and you wanted to talk to him.

“That’s it, I’m calling it.” You said, climbing off the back of Marc’s legs that you had been stradling and quickly pulled on your robe.

“I- what?” The panic in Marc’s voice was evident. You and Marc… liked things rough, but unlike you and Jake, it was you who was the dominant in this dynamic. You and Marc had been doing things like this for a while, clearly defined boundaries and safewords and communication had made a smooth going of things. Marc had been having a bit of a tough time lately so you had stuck to regular love-making, but tonight he had come to you with a request to try something new. He wanted you to use a belt on him.

“Something’s wrong, Marc.”

His face was still in the mattress, face down, but lift enough to speak without looking at you. “I didn’t use the safeword?” It was more a question than a statement.

“Well, I am. Red, on your behalf.” You weren’t super into the idea of using a belt on him, but you weren’t uncomfortable, and since it was something he wanted, you decided to give it a try. Pretty quickly, you didn’t think it was going to happen again but you intended on seeing it through. Marc usually whimpered and yelped during sex, but you could tell his pleasure even still… something told you this was different. This was wrong. He didn’t use his safe word, but he didn’t need to. You knew him.

“I’m fine-”

“Turn over” You instruct, and when he doesn’t you nudge him over gently. Your heart hurts at the tears in his eyes, but his boxer briefs tell you what you suspected. His erection was gone. “Marc…”

Immediately, his lip quivers, breath shaky and he sputters out apologies and you remember your job. It’s not to chastise him, not to question him. Not right now. Right now you need to take care of him.

First was reassurance. “Hey, hey baby,” You cup his face. “It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Second was always his weighted blanket. He didn’t usually sleep with it, so you kept it under the bed for any time he needed the pressure.

Third depended. If he needed anything medical or was hurt, that was next, but you didn’t think what you had done was too bad (your hesitant actions didn’t lead to anything harsh and you had been researching and reaching out to others on how to do this correctly.). Right now, Marc needed to calm down. With tears wetting his cheeks and his anxiety over thinking he ruined the scene, he needed reassurance next.

“Can I lay with you?” You ask as you tuck the blanket over him the way he likes. When he nodded, you lie down beside him. “The usual?” He nodded again, and you place yourself how you usually did. You lay on his chest, arms holding him, right leg bent over his, adding to the weight of the blanket.

“You didn’t do a thing wrong, Marc. You were perfect, this is me, okay? My choice to end it.”

You stay like that for a while before asking to check his back when his breathing was normal. He nodded again and you knew he wasn’t going to be talking the rest of the night. That was okay, you knew how to communicate without words. Marc rolls over, and you see you were correct; not much as far as wounds. You ice him and gently rub aloe vera ointment over the small welts. Once that was done, you help him in dressing in his most comfortable pj’s and resume your previous position until he fell asleep.

You woke up to Steven that morning.

“Talk about what?” Marc tried to deflect, but you cocked your head to the side and raised your eyebrows.

“The other night, Marc. We need to talk about it.”

He avoided your eyes again and mumbled. “I wasn’t the one who safworded.”

You couldn’t help but sigh. “Marc, honey, please? I wanna talk about it so I know what I did wrong-”

His eyes flicked up, his tone harsher than you were used to. “Only thing you did wrong was safeword.”

Taken aback, you feel your chest tightening with anxiety at the argument bubbling. You want to dial it back, but the implication of his words hurt. “Marc… I’m allow to use the safe word too”

Immediately he looked regretful. “No- that’s not what I meant, fuck, sorry…” You gave him a second to regain his thoughts. “I just meant you shouldn’t have done it for me.”

You soften, understanding what he meant. “Baby, you were clearly uncomfortable, and that makes me uncomfortable.”

“I was fine!” He snapped, yelling at you and you see it right away when Jake takes over. “Lo siento, amor.”

“It’s okay, Jake.” But it was clear that his shouting hurt your feelings.

“He shouldn’t yell at you like that.” Jake began eating the chicken. One thing about Jake is he’s going to take care of Marc, and that includes eating when Marc won’t.

“We’ve been… going through a little bit of a rough patch…” You conceded, admitting it to yourself for the first time. The last month with Marc had been hard. He was drifting, and you couldn’t figure out how to stop it.

“It’s not you. He loves you very much.”

“I know he does, I love him.”

“I know.” Jake stuffed his mouth full of chicken. “I told him it wasn’t a good idea to reenact his moms abuse, but he never listens to me.”

That caught your attention. “Wait, what?” You weren’t stupid. You knew his enjoyment of rough sex probably had something to do with his childhood, but Marc didn’t divulge much other than his mom physically abused him.

“Oh great, Marc’s yelling at me now, I guess he never told you his mom whipped-” Marc took the body back. “SHUT UP!” He screamed with eyes pinched shut. You sat in silence until they opened again. When he saw you looking at him with wide eyes, he spoke quietly. “Sorry, I didn’t think… I didn’t realize I was in control again…”

“It’s okay…” You whisper. “Marc… what was Jake gonna say.”

Marc sighed, closing his eyes I think you know.

You did, but you wanted him to say it.

“Marc?” Your voice was shaking and seemed so distant from you as you slowly realized what happened, what he had done. What he had made you do.

“She whipped me with a belt.” Marc’s face was deadset, the look he gave when he was trying so hard not to show emotion, but the heavy rise and fall of his chest always gave it away.

You stand up suddenly. “Marc…” stepping backwards as Marc stands with you, you try to get distance from him, disgust with yourself permeating your bones.

“Marc…”

“Baby, it’s not what you think-” He held out his hand to calm you but your body began to curl in on itself, horrified as you wrap your arms around your waist.

“Were you using me to self harm?”

Horror washed over his face. “No! No that’s not it!”

“But you were! You were using me to hurt yourself, to punish yourself! That’s sick, Marc! Sick!” You couldn’t believe he’d made you an accomplice in his battle against himself.

“It’s not like that, I swear!”

“Making me into your mother, Marc? How could you use me like that?” The tears were welling in your eyes, hurt and self-loathing swelling your thoughts.

“Baby…” Marc looked like he was about to cry himself. “It’s not- it’s not that big a deal…” Marc always tried to down play, to refuse help, to refuse to admit when something he’d done hurt you. Not because he didn’t think he was wrong. Marc always thought he was in the wrong. No, it was because he didn’t think he was worth crying over.

“YES IT IS!” In a fit of frustration, you reach for the kitchen knife. Marc didn’t jump, didn’t startle. He knew whatever you were doing, you wouldn’t hurt him. You give him the handle and hold out your wrist. “Cut me.”

He looked as confused as he was horrified. “Wha-”

“Cut me!” A litany of scars riddles your wrist, he knew what asking him to add to it meant.

“No!” Marc set the knife down far away from you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him in concern. “Baby, why would I do that?” He kissed the scars., speaking softly now as you cried freely. “C’mon, your scaring me… are you having urges to hurt yourself again?”

Classic Marc, always more worried about you. “N-o,” You stammer, crying hard as Marc pulls you into a hug. “That’s the point! You’-d-d-d never help me hurt myself, why would you ask me to hurt you like that?” You are crying, legs shaking and you don’t feel you can keep standing.

Marc sinks to the floor with you, holding you close and crying with you. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.” He held you in his arms for a while until you started to calm down. When you were no longer shaking, Marc lifted you up, carrying you to your bedroom.

First, he reassured you. “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby girl. It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.”

Next was the weighted blanket. It was a gift from you to the boys, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t sleep under it sometimes.

“Can I lay with you?” He asked, and when you nodded, too tired to speak, he crawled under the blanket with you. “The usual?” You consented, and Marc wrapped you up tight in his arms, leg draped over yours in extra comfort.

Lastly, he whispered more assurances in your ear.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Rest, we’ll talk about it later.”

“Everything is going to be alright.”

And you knew it would be. It always would be between you four. Marc just needed help, and he needed to let you help.

Rough sex was out for now. If you couldn’t trust him to use the safe word, you wouldn’t be putting him or yourself in that position. Slowly, Marc opened up and let you, Steven and Jake in, and slowly things got better. It took time, to be sure, and a lot of work on both your parts to repair the trust that was broken, but you loved Marc and Marc loved you.

In the end, Marc was right. Everything was okay.

***************

angsty marc overwhelmingly won my poll. yall like to see a pretty boy cry, huh?

@moonknightly this is the fic i was brainstorming months ago that hurt you so bad lol

@whatthefishh @missdictatorme @ahookedheroespureheart @eyelessfaces @campingwiththecharmings @runa-falls @fandxmslxt69 @k-ra @ivystoryweaver @steven-grants-world @littlenosoul @mikaelak @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @boysddontcry

#marc spector #marc spector x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #moon knight #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight angst #marc spector angst #marc spector hurt comfort #hurt comfort #angst #smut #marc spector x you #marc spector moon knight #jake lockley #moon knight x reader #tw self harm #tw sh #self destructive

153 notes · View notes

callsigns-haze · 5 months

Text

Pretty like a crime

Chapter 1

Pairing: Agent Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Singlemom! Agent Y/n 'Cobra' Y/l/n

Word count: 2.5k

A/n: This is the first official post to my new series so please be nice! I'm going to try to make this into a series so please show this story a bit of love and reblog!

Summary: Cobra is finally back on the agency and is finally back in the job. With Kai at home she has to jumble being a mother and a agent. She's sent to her first U.C mission but never thought that she would meet a blonde, green eyed Texan...

Warning: Drinking, fluff, flirting, mentions of abuse, details of abuse

The mission force parties.

Something everyone despised. The dress code, faking complements, conversation without end and the talks that nobody listened to but still it was annual and any who could come was most likely forced.

You didn't hate these events but you didn't enjoy them either. They felt like they were never ending, they were so boring you nearly fell asleep before but nobody could judge you. But truly you haven't been at this event in years. The last time was probably a year before giving birth to Kai.

Kai was the reason you stopped with the mission force. He was a little kid with his mother running a crazy job which wasn't at all fair on his behalf. He was young and didn't know about any of this and you hope to keep it that way until he's older and way more mature.

The only reason you liked these events was the chance to be able to show off something different from your skill of fighting or shooting. Everyone expressed their elegance.

You're here wearing a black slit dress, another silky material that went a bit past your toes, falling graciously around your feet even in the high leather heels that you've chosen for tonight's wearing. You had your hair slicked back and made into a flower bun which looked as if it was blossoming and unfolding at the back of your head. The best thing about this whole dress was the very high slit up your leg, being very sneaky and high up your thigh.

But enough about you and back to the party. This was an official gathering of the mission force and their lovers in a great hall eating, meeting new people, exchanging stories and getting way too tipsy by the end of the evening. And here yet again you're hoping to escape this one early.

I mean you have a babysitter but she sits with your son nearly the full day and now you asked her to do it tonight, and let me say she has never said no but you still felt slight guilt due to this happening. She has been at your house nonstop now and it makes you feel sad not being able to take care of your own kid.

You slip between bunches of people, trying not to get smashed in between bodies and make your way to the left far corner. You see there's always people in big groups at the door greeting each other, hugging and talking, which just blocks the whole hallway. It was annoying but let's be honest that's just society.

You lean your back against the wall, sighing in relief you got out of that warzone before anyone engulfed you in a conversation. You slipped your phone out of your purse, texting your babysitter. You just wanted to know how your little boy is doing.

You slowly take your gaze away from the glass screen and turn your focus to the people around you. This whole party was mostly filled by male agents. How patriarchal but it is what it is. You look around a bit more to see who actually is going to be at the gathering.

Most are admirals, division leaders, commanders and their wives. It's always fun to see which couple fights first in the night, it always ends that way. Some married couple always ends up in an argument in the middle of the party. It's quite amusing actually. Fills the atmosphere with laughter.

You were about to drop your gaze back down to your phone but a man who has filled your entire childhood approaches you.

"Ice," you say, as you're engulfed in the older man's hug. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in close, head in his chest, whiffed by the smell of his cologne and let out a small sigh.

You see this man is your whole family besides Kai. You've been an orphan from the age of eleven and your uncle Ice was the one to bring you under his wing.

Your mother worked undercover too. She worked usually on drug dealer cases, going under cover to gain their trust. She got herself trapped in the mess herself and overdosed two days before your sixth birthday. Your dad was left to raise a little girl alone and had no clue how to manage it. Even though your mother may have barely been around it still brought support to your family. Your dad worked as a cop and had to work some pretty mad hours and those hours did not fit in with raising a six year old. He was your whole world and got shot in the head four days before Christmas morning.

Ever since then it's been Ice who raised you as his own. Never wanting to replace your parents but to replace the feeling of being alone and that he did really well. He didn't have kids of his own with his wife but to the two of them, you were their kid.

He kisses your head as the two of you pull back and he gets a proper look at his little girl and sighs, "Every time I see you know, you're a completely different woman." That makes you blush he always knew the right thing to say to make a smile form out of your glossed lips.

"I'm so happy to see you," you say looking him in the eye finally feeling like you belong somewhere at this party. You didn't feel like leaving anymore, with Ice you feel comfort like when you were a little girl. Comfort that you need after the last crazy months. "Happy to see you too, kiddo."

"I have some people that you need to meet," he says calmly, not like a command but not like a suggestion of choice. He wraps his arm around you and you are lead to a group of people. Some you think you recognize.

"I'd like you to meet the daggers," your uncle introduced you to the squad but you don't even listen your eyes lay upon a familiar blonde from a few weeks back.

Your eyes meet with those deep green ones and something in you sparks, something you haven't had in years but what where you even thinking. This guy worked for your uncle and you couldn't feel this about your uncles employee. It was wrong but maybe it's just the eye contact, it's not like it was actually something big or anything after all, just a meeting.

"Daggers, this is my beloved niece, Agent Cobra," your uncle introduces you to the group of unknown personalities. Each of them give you a short but sweet smile, holding their arm out an introducing themselves one by one. The other you recognize from the night a bit back was the tall baby cow eyed, mustached macho. He introduced himself as Agent Rooster.

Each agent had their own code name which they were given by the mission force themselves. Each of theirs was different, with many yet to know meanings, some to do with culture, some to do with interest and some you just got out of pure luck.

When it got around to the blonde who saved you previously he had the same strong tone and tint of accent in his voice as he said, "Pleasure we meet again," as he shook your hand, probably not to pleased that you left him lying in the middle of an alleyway after tripping him up even though he saved your life.

"You two have met," Iceman inquired, with a strong tint of confusion and surprise in his voice. Yes the two of you've met and maybe you haven't stop thinking about what happened ever since but that has nothing to do with any of this. "Our last missions interlinked, in one way or another," you say smirking at the blonde who is supposedly known as 'hangman' rewinding the scene of you tripping him up in your head.

"You could say so," he answered, his smirk matching your equally. His hair again was nicely styled and slicked back as he wears the nice black suit, quite similar choice as the last night but this time more formal, filled with elegancy.

Your uncle starts an conversation with the crew, you at his side, in his expectancy listening but here you were looking at hangman. There was something about him that you couldn't figure out. It's like an weird aura or feeling you have about him that's not been able to get shaken off. There was something special about him.

The night was young and calm but the conversations were like no other. You've found out that from now on you will be more intertwining with the dagger squad and will be paired up with the Texan blonde. Usually you've no interest of who you shall go with but this time you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

You've got to know some stories about the squad and their missions and truly the way they explained their situations sounded like they've enjoyed the missions even if failing could equal death. They seemed really close with each other, something like a family. It's good to have a family like group in the mission force otherwise you'd never make it alone.

Your thoughts were quite deep but still not sinking as they get easily broken by a question asked from Maverick, "Cobra, is Matthew not joining us tonight?"

The question you still haven't a clue how to answer. Your ex husband and father of your child. The man you haven't heard from since you packed your things while he was on a mission, leaving him divorce papers and leaving him forever.

"No, not tonight." Why not say that things have ended between the two of you? You haven't spoken with Matthew ever since you left England. The two of you didn't end on good terms.

"Y/n!" I hear Matthew scream as I enter the house. I speed walk over to the living room to see him sprawled out on the couch drunk and smoking yet another cigarette. "Matt!" I gasp at the horrific scene. This was not the man I fell in love with. But this wasn't the first time. "Why are you late?" Matthew asks as he raises his voice. He sits up from the couch, throws the cigarette to the ground, and crushes it with his bare heel. "I-I'm not! I swear it!" I say in defense and I raise my hands. "Hmmm, ok. You may have not been late but who brought ya home?" Matthew asks as he circles around me like a vulture, with his arms locked behind him. I deeply gulp. Since I left my wallet at home so I couldn't pay for a taxi, I asked my friend Jason if he could give me a ride. Matt may or may not hate this Jason guy to pieces. "I… I um… I rode a taxi, like usual," I say, trying my best to not get caught. "Oh so you didn't leave this?" Matt pulls out my purse and throws it at my face. "Matt-" "Save it you lying bitch!" He yells and slaps me across the face. I fall weakly, as I let all the tears I've kept in for ages out of my system. "Matt please! I'm sorry!" I cry and I shield my face from the monster in front of me. "Sorry isn't going to cut it! You lied to me," he spits. "I lied because I didn't want you to get mad!" I cry, attempting to reason with him. "Too late!" He growls.

You sunk back into your thinking and the conversation continued normally but you were still in thought of the blonde in front of you. It is the smiles, the gentle shrugs and the light in your eyes. That we are both elevated by each other's presence is obvious and even the silences are comfortable. He listens as if your words are golden, perhaps some elixir he's been waiting all his days to hear. From what he says next you can tell he is thinking so deeply, already with a strategy that's several moves ahead of what you am capable of. And in his words are a kindness, a concern that is so quick that, for him, it is natural. This attentiveness is apart of who he is and that is, if your honest, the most attractive feature you haven't seen in a man for quite some time.

--------------

And that's how the night ends, full of conversations and new knowledge. You're now going to be working with the group and are going to be assigned to the San Diego Mission Force and will be working along side of them.

You stand outside waiting for your ride and the same guy, that you couldn't take your eyes off, approaches you, "Calm night isn't it." When his brain came fully online, it flashed an electric smirk. "One of the calmest." Your smile is the sunshine and the birdsong, it is the silencing of the clocks, it is both the cage and the ever open door.

He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon your own. You loved the way his voice quickened when he sparkled with a new idea, or was so enjoying one of yours that he lost himself for a moment and quite forgot the mask he wore for others.

"So why did you through me onto the floor," he asks out of nowhere. A question you quite didn't expect. You're at a loss for words because You're not sure how a soul as pure as his has survived this long in this world. You're not only soft hearted, you're tough enough to stay that way. That takes a kind of bravery that you're still processing, hence the silence.

"Well it's quite hard to trust a man who randomly comes to you with a gun," you say, glancing down upon your phone checking the time and how far your taxi was away. Usually you try to get away from these parties as soon as possible but somehow his presents makes you feel like staying.

"I guess that a valid reason. I would like to say, I'm truly looking forward to working with you," His large hands play with your smaller ones, the simple jester made you tired. You let him mess with them, you just wanted to rest. You could feel your hands be moved all over the place, then felt small kisses being placed on them as he sees your taxi arrive.

"Me too, Agent Hangman, me too."

Current taglist:

@callsign-magnolia

@shanimallina87

@callsign-dexter

@rosiahills22

@horseslovers2016

@djs8891

@hookslove1592

@emma8895eb

@hardballoonlove

@kmc1989

@dempy

@mamachasesmayhem

@senawashere

@emma8895eb

@buckysteveloki-me

@sweetwhispersofchaos

100 notes · View notes

klausysworld · 10 months

Note

Hii, I love your work <3, it's so good

I was wondering if you could do a Klaus x reader when Klaus is reader's psychologist or therapist and he knows all her shit and falls in love with her (I'd even like to see some jealousy from Klaus because reader always chooses men who treat her horrible and he tries to be professional about it but in the end he can't, he kind of thinks he would treat her better (even in the sexual part))

Which would hurt more?

Klaus had been seeing his client Y/n L/Y/N for a few weeks now, once on a Sunday and again on a Thursday for an hour or so each time depending on his schedule and if he could push other clients back to hear her.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have a favourite patient but despite most of their conversations being on rather traumatic or emotional topics, he looked forward to seeing her and listening to everything happening in her day to day life as well as her past.

He enjoyed seeing her progress and helping her to understand her own feelings. Even if he mostly listened and offered advice that he knew she wouldn’t actually use.

So there he was already waiting on his chair with the door open for her to come in while he got the past session notes out. His lips turned up as he heard her voice ring from the hall

“I’m so sorry I’m late Dr Mikaelson, I got caught up” she explained, through heavy breathing as she rushed in and closed the door before going to her usual choice of seating opposite him.

“Not an issue y/n, and please call me Klaus” he smiled at her and she quickly mirrored it as she dropped her bag and brushed the hair out of her face. “So, how was your morning?” He questioned while clicking his pen

“Well- okay so last night I was out with this guy right? Whatever, stayed the night at his but then woke up and I was like shit. I’m on the other side of town, no car, lost my keys, the dick took my cash from my purse and disappeared before I woke up and I couldn’t find my phone anywhere so I had to find my own way here without any money. Ergo I ran cuz I woke late and I’m just behind on everything, you?” She rushed out in one long breath leaving him speechless for a moment before glancing to his empty page.

And then began a long session about her decisions, how she got to them, how she would do them differently and why she thinks she chooses then more often than she’d like.

See Y/n seemed to do this a lot. From what Klaus could tell, she frequently allowed random men to use her body only to feel awful about herself after. He assumed it to be her own version of self harm, abusing her body to try feel better for a moment.

Problem was she didn’t see it that way, and he knew she planned to keep doing it. And although he had many suggestions, he couldn’t exactly tell her what she can and can’t do.

But he could be there for her and try to help her find a better way to her future.

And over time, he managed to see some change in her behaviour. She got more self aware and was able to move past some of her childhood trauma.

The problem with her being self aware was that she knew what she was doing and it was only upsetting her more each time she had to tell him that she’d done it again.

And although he hasn’t ever hugged a patient in the past, he couldn’t help but comfort her as she cried for nearly the entire session. It was his main mistake.

Having her in his arms felt too good for her to be just a client. Being able to smell her hair as her face nuzzled his neck was delightful and in that moment he wished they were stood in his their own house, under entirely different circumstances and together.

Of course once she pulled away and sniffled her ‘thank you’ back to him, he snapped out of it and cleared his throat to try and push away his thoughts.

And from then it only got worse.

One hug became many over the weeks, until she was greeting him and leaving him with a cuddle each time.

And then the dreams kicked in, he knew he could treat her so much better than any other and he loathed every man who took advantage of her vulnerable state. He just wanted to have her as his, to hold and love her like she deserved.

Of course he tried to shove his thoughts away when he actually saw her but then she began wearing more intriguing outfits. Revealing and suggestive clothing that surely drove his mind mad.

His eyes would shut and his lips would part as her breasts pushed right up against him and she hummed with her lips by his ear. Klaus couldn’t help his mind wondering to the idea of having his face between said breasts, hands squeezing and fingers pinching. He couldn’t help glance down for a second as they pulled away to get a peek at her cleavage and when he looked back to her eyes he knew she knew and that made it harder.

Months went by and he found himself waking up with her name fresh on his lips, cock up and solid, sweat coating his body as he groaned aloud and pulled the blanket off his body only to sigh in defeat at the cum that already covered his abs.

She made it difficult to concentrate on anything she was saying now that such a rich red lipstick painted her lips each day, his note book became more and more blank each session and he seemed to find himself picturing her in all sorts of positions as she told him about another imbecile she slept with. God he just wanted to have her beneath him, head back as she screamed his name and forgot about every fool she had ever been with before.

And when she kept coming to him upset or hurt both physically and/or emotionally by another boy…he couldn’t stop himself from snapping and telling her she needed to stop abusing herself which caused a heavy silence to hang over them.

She had cleared her throat and pulled at her jacket to hide her breasts that she had originally wanted on display for him.

And that’s when he realised that he was another person who she though would use her and leave her. She wanted him to hurt her.

He stood up slowly and moved to sit beside her on the couch she were on, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, he rest his chin on top her head and sighed through his nose

“I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry y/n” he told her

“It’s fine, you’re right” she whispered but he could hear the crack in her voice and it hurt his heart.

He kissed her temple tenderly and helped her onto his lap which probably wasn’t his finest idea but he did so nevertheless. His hand gently rubbed up and down her arm as she bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to not cry again in front of him even though it was what he was there for.

“I never mean to upset you sweetheart” he murmured, tucking some of her hand behind her ear

“I’m sorry” she whispered and he frowned

“No lovely, never be sorry, it’s my job to listen to you. I was very out of line…” he thought for a moment before his brain gave him a brilliant idea “how about we do something to cheer you up? You like sweet things don’t you y/n, how about we go to the cafe just down the street?” He offered

“Is that allowed?” She asked quietly, of course she wanted to spend time with him and she had purple been trying to get his attention but now she was getting it, she worried that it would hurt his career. He was a highly recommended psychologist and she wouldn’t ever want to ruin his reputation.

He hesitated for a moment before sighing “probably not no…but I’ll go get you something and bring it back okay? You happy to wait here?” He leaned back to see her face as she turned to him.

“Are you sure? I’ll grab my purse so-“

“Nonsense love, It’s my version of an apology” he hushed her as he stood “just stay here, snoop if you must and I’ll be back shortly” he kissed her forehead before leaving.

It was an odd situation to be in, her psychologist holding and kissing her and buying her things to make her feel better.

She thought she’d seduce him, fuck him and then he’d have to let her go as a client and she’d be on her own again. But he didn’t take her against his desk and then throw her out, he kept looking out for her, taking care of her and being kind. It was bizarre and everything in her argued on whether she should run or stay.

She wasn’t sure which would hurt more. Staying, falling completely in love with someone she knew she wasn’t allowed or running away from the only good thing in her life at the moment.

She was never great at decisions and Klaus knew that.

Which is why he wasn’t overly surprised when he got back with the cakes in his hands only to find that she had left only a note as a sign she had once been there.

He placed the food down and sighed, he shouldn’t have left her alone. He didn’t know what he was thinking anymore. He just knew that she was important to him now and he needed to find her, sooner rather than later.

237 notes · View notes

chaotic-on-main · 7 months

Text

Epilogue

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, eventual smut

☾ Author's note ➼ Heeeeyy I'm back. If you haven't had an eye on my masterlist for Unspoken Words, you might have missed that I've been working on an epilogue. SURPRISE. If you have, then here it is lol. I am OFFICIALLY done with UW and I'm so sad about it. ALSO for some reason my tumblr app hates me and any time I italicize a line, it italicizes the entire paragraph and I have no idea why. As always, the sign language lines are marked with ' and speaking lines marked with ".

Thank you to anyone who has taken time out of their lives to read my "little" story. I enjoyed writing about this little world and I could not be happier to know that most of you liked reading it. I appreciate you more than you know. Can you believe this is around 100k words? Crazy. Anyways, I'm gonna go write some more, I'll see ya around! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~4k

Reddish-orange leaves dance in a unique ballet number past the window you were currently staring out of. You can't keep your fingers from picking at the sleeves of your wool sweater as you wait for your speech therapist to come and get you from the semi-quiet lobby. The only noises you hear comes from the reception desk and the TV mounted opposite of the couch you were waiting on. The weather channel calls for a beautiful weekend with warmer than usual temperatures – which is good considering Halloween is tomorrow.

A side door leading to the back offices opens up, and your name is called from a stout brunette woman with large rimmed glasses and a kind smile. She holds it open as she beckons you forward, and you don't hesitate to smile back as you pick up your bag and make your way through the door and down the familiar hall on her heels.

You’ve been seeing Dr. Boreal for about almost two years now. You started speech therapy shortly after starting trauma therapy – something they had recommended. You weren't quick to decline the suggestion, but you'd be lying if you said you had ever thought about taking back your speech. Some time in your youth, you just assumed it was gone forever. That it was something that couldn't be fixed.

According to Dr. Foust, your trauma therapist, the speech block was mental. Therefore, it was something that could be explored and possibly broken through.

When he had said that, you had newfound hope and suddenly a silent goal to work towards.

It's like clockwork the way you stepped into Dr. Boreal's navy blue office, stepping over to the right and onto the plush cream colored couch meant just for patients. On the walls of her office sits multiple picture frames and motivational posters, all with smiles and bright colors. Her dark curtains sit parted, letting in the afternoon autumn sun that hits the wall next to you. You watch as she grabs the folder with your name on it before sitting in her large red chair and smiling over to you.

“So, how have you been? How was your trip with Levi?”

‘I’m doing well. And It was lovely! You were right, too. The road to Trost is gorgeous this time of year and the trees! So pretty.’ You think back at the little vacation Levi took you on just a week ago. He had taken the scenic route to the little town that you and he had rented a cabin in.

The leaves were at the end of their life and littered the ground wherever you went, crunching underneath your boots. Between the intimate moments and crisp atmosphere, it really was a magical time. Levi practically had to drag you back home.

On the way out, Levi found this adorable tea shop. It's not easy finding a place that made tea as well as he did, and of course he didn't say anything, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it. You won't soon forget the content on his normally stoic face. That reminds you of the little package snuggled in your purse so you reach down into it to pull out a small, rectangular tin.

‘I got this for you.’ You beam at her as you hand it over gently.

“Cranberry autumn tea?” She inspects the wording on the metal, hazel eyes glittering gold in the sunlight that reflects off the container. Her eyes shift to you as a grateful smile lights up her weathered face. “Oh you sweet thing, thank you so much. But you shouldn't have.”

‘As thanks for dealing with me.’ You laugh softly, leaning back into the plush couch.

“You know it's no problem. Even if I wasn't paid, I'd still enjoy your company.” She waves dismissively after setting her gift down on the table in front of her. “So, let's see where we left off last time.”

You pick at the edges of your sleeves once again as you watch her find the right place in her notes. Dr. Boreal is one of the kindest people you've had the pleasure of being around. Though she was being paid to help you, she always did so much more. She was patient with you when you struggled to get past certain goals, and when your voice hurt after a grueling session she would bring you herbal tea with honey to smooth the pain. Levi joked that you liked her tea more than his to which you always rolled your eyes at.

“Well you have made outstanding progress. Of course, there is still plenty we still need to work on. But you're doing well.” She looks down at her papers as she talks, the scratch of her pen fills the silence after she finishes. She looks back up to you. “Have you shown anyone your progress yet?”

Those around you are aware of your long journey through therapy. They even celebrated with you after one year - Hange's idea of course. Your sister couldn't hold it in when you had told them of the progress you've made and the goals you were looking forward to completing in the oncoming sessions.

What they didn't know was that you were even in speech therapy, and how far in your speech recovery you were. Keeping it secret from Levi was getting harder with every passing week.

‘No, but I plan to soon, I promise.’ You pinch your lips together in a grimace. This has been a threat for the last 6 months but truthfully, you've been too scared to tell anyone. No, not scared. Nervous.

“Well, you know my stance on that. I’m sure they're going to be ecstatic, when you're ready to do so.” Dr. Boreal sets out a recorder to let you hear your voice the way she does, a tool you both found the most helpful when it came to fixing the areas that needed the most work. “Enough of that though, are you ready to start?”

With a confident smile, you open your mouth to speak.

A few hours later, you find yourself home and in the kitchen with your mind in another dimension. You’re currently plating up a vegetable tray on a tupperware platter as autumnal lofi weaves through the room from the speakers behind you. You’re so focused on arranging your sliced up miscellaneous veggies that you don't hear the metal key in the front door and the light footsteps of your boyfriend coming home for the evening.

“Hey.” Levi mutters from behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing – not without difficulty, of course. You jump at his sudden proximity causing you to drop the chosen dipping sauces in the middle of the platter, disturbing the once perfect arrangement.

There's a soft sigh from you, but you feel the giddiness at the expected company fluttering in your stomach. Even after a few years, he still gives you that effect. You twist in his arms to face him, and his gray eyes are downturned in concern.

“Are you okay? Was therapy too much today?” He lessens his grip on you so you can pull your hands up to sign.

Levi Ackerman’s raven hair is slicked back from him running his fingers through it, and the way that it stayed put and the sheen on the strands, you can tell it must be raining. You've been so fixated on making sure it looked good that you hadn't even noticed. His gaze stares into yours as he searches for what might be bothering you, so you give him a reassuring smile.

‘No, it was actually really good. She said I've made a lot of progress.’

“That's good. Did you come home late, or have you been working on this tray the whole time?” He glances over your shoulder at the vegetables now thrown about on the counter.

‘Yes and no. I decided to run by the farmers market for more options. But they didn't have anything we didn't already have.’ You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

The afternoon sun was so nice on your face that you would have been a fool to not take advantage of it - and it's a good thing you did. Your eyes slide to the water droplets that drip down on the outside of the living room windows.

“Hm. Well we need to leave for Hange's party soon and you're not dressed. Let me finish this for you and you go get ready.” He leans in to kiss your forehead before unraveling his arms and pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You only roll your eyes but make your way to the back as he asked.

Hange's Halloween Bash is something they have been planning for about a year. The moment the decorations went on sale last winter, she snatched up what she could. She said something about starting a new tradition for her friends turned family. Levi wasn't as excited about the prospect of such a social gathering but you were, and that was enough to get him to go.

Not only were you able to get him to go, you were also able to talk him into dressing up with you.

In front of the mirror, you finish tying up a black corset that wraps around your waist. It helps form-fit the blue long sleeve dress that drops down to your bare ankles with your pair of flats completing the look. You were almost ready – all that was left was the big blue bow that you pinned to the back of your head as best you could. You suppose for a makeshift Ariel, this would do just fine. You almost chuckle at the irony of the characters you suggested to Levi a month ago.

A girl who can't talk and a prince that loved her despite it.

You do a small twirl in the mirror to make sure everything looks right. You almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sight of the person standing in the doorway. Levi leans against the door frame, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. His hands are in the pockets of his work clothes as he watches you intently, taking in the sight of you. With a hand over your heart, you give him a small frown.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” He doesn't sound sorry at all.

‘You are too quiet for your own good. One day you're going to scare me so bad that I'm going to punch you.’ You shake your head but smile anyways. You make your way to the closet to pull out Levi's costume for the night, making sure to grab the red waist sash that threatens to fall to the floor.

“You keep saying that.” He takes the hanger from you but not before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. With a small laugh, you head out of the bedroom and down the hall back to the kitchen.

On your way there, you take a moment to glance at the framed photographs on the walls. Levi made sure to hang up the pictures he took from his apartment that he shared with Erwin as soon as you both moved in.

There was the one of him, Furlan, and Isabel as well as the one of him and Erwin on graduation day though Levi had persisted with Erwin to keep the latter. His blonde and blue eyed friend told him to take it as he had plenty more photos of the two he could hang up. That didn’t make Levi feel any better and it makes you wonder what photos Levi might be hiding from you.

Dispersed in between those are ones of you and Hange, and some with your shared circle of friends. The last one frames three photo strips next to each other. The first one is from your first Sakura Festival a few years ago where you sat on Levi's lap – both red faced and unaware of the extent of your affections for each other.

The other two are from the same photo booth, taken from the previous and current year. With each year, the smiles and looks of adoration grew. Both, luckily, were without the presence of your sister and Erwin. Surprisingly, it wasn't your idea to go back. As much as Levi did his best to hide his sentimental side, it was always present.

When you get to the kitchen counter, you see the platter rearranged and closed up with the matching plastic lid. It looks perfect, even better than when you took a crack at it. You also see two cups of tea on the counter, both with steam rising up and dancing in the kitchen lights before dissipating into the air.

With a grin, you reach over to grab what you can only assume is yours based on the light color of your tea then walk around the island to sit on the bar stool, leaning on the counter with the mug in both hands. After your first sip, you sigh happily. It was one of the new teas Levi had brought back from the trip because he couldn't get enough of it. Earthy with hints of floral notes, topped with a citrusy zing.

When you start to wonder if Levi was okay, your eyes catch movement in the hallway. You watch Levi struggle with his sash, the soft grumbling of his irritation coming from under his breath as he tugs on it. Sometimes you never realize how hard it is to do something with less than the normal amount of fingers until it's forced upon you. Of course, Levi was never one to ask for help even after all these years.

Without a second thought, you stand up and make your way over to him. He doesn't fight as you take the fabric from his fingers and tighten it from the back. Tucked into the sash is a white blouse, loose enough to billow in the evening breeze. Black pants and matching boots fit snug against his lower half. When you're done, you turn him to face you to inspect the whole ensemble. With his hair properly slicked back, he was the perfect Prince Eric.

‘You look rather dashing, you know that?’

“Tch.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there's not a trace of annoyance radiating off of him. As much as he hates it, he loves you and would do anything you asked – within reason.

‘Are you almost ready to go?’

“In a few, I didn't just brew this for nothing.” He makes his way to the counter to grab his mug and instead of sitting, he stands propped up against the counter like you were but with his phone in hand.

“Your sister wants to know if you want apple juice or apple cider.” He mutters, his gray eyes flicking up over to you as you make your way over to the seat you were just at to finish your own cup. “Both, right?”

‘How did you know?’ You laugh, but nod in agreement. You watch as his fingers type away, the clicking of the keys filling back empty space. There's barely any sunlight coming through the closed blinds signifying that nightfall was almost here. You just now noticed Levi had gone ahead and turned off everything for you while you were getting ready.

The gut feeling you felt last week is back. There was a moment when Levi drove through the rolling hills, the golden rays of sunset lighting up his face. A moment of peace that washed over you as his soft gaze flitted over to you in the passenger seat for only a second, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

With a nervous sigh, you reach over and pull down his phone with one finger to get his attention. Instantly he looks at you with worry, his mouth downturned.

“Are you okay?”

‘I bet you love me.’

His eyebrows raise, a little surprised at your random question – at something so obvious that he worries even more that something is wrong.

“What’s this about?”

‘Humor me. I bet you love me.’

“You bet right.” He draws out, confusion lacing his tone.

‘You have to answer a question now. Since I was right.’

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” His eyes roll at you again, but he sets his phone and mug down and leans over on his elbows to watch you intently.

‘It’s a simple but very important question, I promise.’

“Tch, okay. Hit me.”

Your eyes are suddenly fixated on the fridge to the right of you, the heat of his stare making you shy. For a split second, you almost chicken out. With your heart in your throat, you feel as if you're going to choke as your pulse quickens. Can you do this? Were you ready for this? You were quite tired after today, maybe it's best saved for another day. These thoughts race loudly in your head, but the moment you look back up to meet Levi's gaze, they cease to a quiet murmur.

No, you're ready. And you can do this.

With your fingers laced together, you rest your chin on them and continue to look up at Levi's perplexed expression. Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you're finally able to find your voice.

“Will… you marry… me, Levi?” Your voice is scratchy despite the honey tea you drank after your session. It's rough, and to you it's far from pretty. But the change in expression on Levi's face is almost worth it as he stares at you dazed. It's almost funny to see the physical reaction of his brain comprehending what just happened, like a computer crashing and rebooting.

He's reaching over the counter suddenly and cupping your face in his calloused hands. He holds you there as his wide eyes bounce back and forth between yours. You fight back a laugh, your lips pinched together and quivering.

“Do that again. Say my name again.” The urgency in his voice is palpable.

“L…” You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to find your voice yet again. It's hard, but you try again anyway. “Levi.” It comes out brittle this time, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake.

“How did this happen?” His own voice sounds a little higher than before, and you have to bite back another laugh.

‘I've been working on it alongside my sessions with Foust.’ You've met your vocal quota for the day. Levi's hands stay cupped around your cheeks and he pulls you in until his soft lips touch yours again. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him back, feeling the weight of your anxiety lift off your shoulders in an instant.

When he pulls away, his stare is conflicted and before you know it, he's released you and whips around the corner down the hallway. Dread inches its way into your chest where the anxiety was before as you realize he never answered your question. Did he need a moment? Did he even hear what you asked? The shock may have been too much. Your teeth bite into the inside of your cheek as you watch the dark hallway nervously.

A few seconds later, he emerges from the shadows with red creeping from his neck up into his face. He's flustered and holding something small in his hand. It takes you a moment to register what it was, and when you do, you jump to your feet to meet him halfway.

He doesn’t hesitate to open it to you though his fingers tremble ever so slightly. Inside are two golden rings, interlocked together. A small oval ruby sits surrounded by metal vines beset by smaller white diamonds in the shape of leaves. It's simple yet elegant. Your eyes snap up to his, no doubt as big as saucers.

Not only is this ring breathtaking, it's also groundbreaking to you. You've seen this ring box around since before you both had moved in together. It's been in the closet collecting dust, so of course you didn't think anything of it. He's had this ring for a long time, sitting right under your nose.

‘How long were you planning to propose?’

“For a while now. I just didn't know when would be a good time.” He carefully takes out the one with the red ruby and holds it up to you. The kitchen lights glimmer off the smooth surface reflecting red against his fingers. “I can't believe you beat me to it, though.” So he did hear you.

‘I wasn't planning to do it tonight, but I just had a feeling.’

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” He leans over to place the ring box onto the side table behind him, then turns to you. Then he does something you've only ever seen in movies – Levi gets down on one knee and the ring out to you.

“Um. I'm not good with things like this. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I've never been more prepared to spend my life with someone, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?” His eyes look away for a second before focusing back on you. Even though you had pretty much said yes when you asked first, he still seemed so nervous.

To see Levi in such a mess like this in front of you makes that laugh you held back burst forth, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Speechless again, you reach your hand out to him and just like that, he slides the ring on your finger with ease.

“I- uh, borrowed one of your rings to get it resized.” He mutters as you stare at it curiously. “So, that's a yes right?” Even though you took the ring, you can still hear the anxiety in his voice.

‘Of course, dummy.’ You laugh again before pulling him up on his feet by his collar and into you for another kiss, this time deeper and full of the love that you have for this man. When you pull away, you can't help but stare at the metal hugging your ring finger.

“It was my mom’s, she insisted on me having it. I think she knew.” He grabs your hand and pulls you into him, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face. “I suppose we should call her tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod sharply, your smile hurting your cheeks, but you don't care. All you feel right now is the same peace you felt last week and excitement for the future ahead. You didn't want anyone else.

“Say it again?”

“Levi.” He leans in again, hand still on your face as he presses his lips against your once more. There have been many shared kisses since you both became official but this one felt different. You didn't have the words for it, but it was miles away from being bad.

Levi's phone vibrating loudly on the counter disturbs the comfortable silence and you can only sigh. You almost forgot that you had somewhere to be and are reminded by the caller ID flashing your sister's name. In Levi fashion, he ignores it but he does pull away to look at you with a grimace.

“So who’s telling them?”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma @svftackerman @velouria17 @sixpennydame

If you'd like to be a part of my taglist to be notified for my other writings, please go here!

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 5

86 notes · View notes

blossomwritesthings · 6 months

Text

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

pairing: minho x felix (minlix)

genre: nonidol!minho/nonidol!felix. minlix are professional dancers. childhood bfs to lovers au. confession au. post-breakup blues. angst!! fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. felix pov.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. thematic elements. there's angst in here (felix's in an abusive relationship, a scary incident happens between him and his ex). mentions of physical assault/violence is detailed. sexual assault is also alluded to. minho is really soft for him in this and takes care of felix a lot because... he's his baby. smut warnings below cut!!

word count: 9.6k

summary: felix thought he'd always be with his long-term boyfriend jicheul, until one drunken night ruins everything they'd built up together. and the only person he can turn to in his time of crisis is his childhood best friend, minho.

18+ warnings: dom!felix x sub!minho (but also they're both switches). minho finally gets to be the bottom in this one. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends). anal sex/fingering. jerking off happens. one hot blowjob. slight degradation (but not too much this time). pet names (baby boy, darling, kitten, etc). dirty thoughts/fantasies. LOTS of hair pulling & lube. slight breeding kink (🙄). dacryphilia. somewhat dumbification. overstimulation. nipple play. lots of dirty talk. subspace. loud sex.

a/n: first of all, this is dedicated to my lovely friend @cb97breathing... I love you sm and I hope this brightens up your day if only by just a tiny bit, honey!! 🤎 I felt like writing something angsty, so my original idea turned out to be a minlix piece. honestly, this one was a little hard to write since it brought up bad memories of my past abuse, but I like how it turned out so that's a win haha! enjoy, you guys!! ✨

💙 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Lee Felix never intended for things to get this far.

He never meant to let everything escalate to this extent.

After having met Jicheul during his freshman year in university, he was all starry-eyed with love for the man. And for a while, everything was amazing. It felt like he was living in a dream - floating above the clouds thanks to his love.

But then the change started ever so subtly.

During their first anniversary, Jicheul had spent the night before drinking and partying with his friends at a nearby club. And when he came back home to their shared apartment that morning, he was drunk out of his mind.

When Felix tried to get him sober by making him some hangover stew and brewing him some green tee - Jicheul blew up at him. Cursing him out, smashing a nearby plate onto the kitchen's tiled floor. Then he was storming out of the apartment before Felix could even register what was going on.

On their first anniversary, they didn't celebrate it together. For one thing, because Felix didn't see his boyfriend for the entire until late that night. And secondly, because he couldn't pick himself up from his bed - buried deep under the covers, sobbing for hours on end because his boyfriend had practically abandoned him on such a special day.

That day, he cried so much that he physically ached by the time Jicheul returned home. His chest hurt so fucking much, and his eyes were puffy from all of the tears. But then Jicheul apologized to him, giving him a bouquet of red roses, and all was well in the world.

Although, Felix never told anyone else about his boyfriend's outburst. None of his family or friends knew about the broken dishes and spewed curses, and that's how he wanted things to stay.

But ever so slightly, over his sophomore year, Felix realized that he was pushing away his friends and family. He didn't see them quite as often anymore, and when he did, his mind was occupied with thoughts of his boyfriend - what he was doing right then and who he was with.

Felix watched on the sidelines of his life, as Jicheul gradually pulled him away from his entire support system. Like an infection that lazily spread throughout his body, his boyfriend took up everything - his thoughts, his habits, his entire life.

He chose to ignore the snide comments from his boyfriend - when he'd wear certain outfits or when he'd hang out with certain friends around the university. That's just his way of showing he cares about me, Felix always thought whenever Jicheul would degrade him for something.

And before Felix knew it, they were both graduating and celebrating their fourth anniversary together. But once again, just like their first and third one, Jicheul was nowhere to be found. All day, he was out of the house - and with each second that he was gone, Felix's heart broke just a little bit more.

When he finally arrived home to a sad-faced Felix, Jicheul rolled his eyes exasperatingly. "Oh fuck- I forgot, didn't I?" He said, voice all gruff from a long day at work. He had just started his new job at a local architect firm and they were working him to the bone with overtime.

Felix couldn't even find it in himself to say anything, instead swallowing around the dry lump forming in his throat. After that, Jicheul came over to him on the living room couch and sat down slowly.

"Let me make it up to you, hun," Jicheul started, leaning down to capture his lips up into a passionate kiss. "Let me fuck you nice and good for our special day, okay?"

And Felix didn't even say anything after that, instead choosing to let him take the lead. Before he knew it, Jicheul had them completely bare and was fucking him atop the living room couch, hands gripping tightly into his hips as his cock stretched him open.

"Feels good?" Jicheul asked, tucking a few strands of Felix's whispy blonde hair behind his ear. He thrust up into him a little more, the squelching sounds of lube and cum mixing around the apartment.

"Yeah, feels nice."

But Felix was lying.

It didn't feel nice, not at all.

It felt super fucking painful.

He wasn't in the mood and he couldn't even bring himself to cum at the end. So instead, he faked it, like he had done many times with Jicheul before. Felix was too depressed to feel anything blissful at that moment - head swimming with too many thoughts about them and their uncertain relationship.

For one thing, Jicheul fucked him way too hard. Although Felix liked it rough sometimes, he also liked things to be soft and gradual. Jicheul was like a bull, charging right out of the gate as soon as they had their clothes off. And initially, that had been something really hot to Felix. But after four years of the same raw power, the blonde male was pretty fucking sick of it all.

It wasn't until some months later after Felix had landed a job teaching dance at a local studio, that everything fell apart. The day had been long and some of his students hadn't listened to his teachings, which made things even worse for him.

As he stepped through the door to their apartment, he noticed how all of the lights were off. He froze in the kitchen when he saw a shadowy form sitting on the living room couch.

Running a hand through his hair, Felix sighed heavily. "Ji? Is that you?" He asked out into the gloam, too tired to even flip on a light.

"Where were you?" He could hear his boyfriend's voice extend out across the apartment, serious and monotone.

It was only then that Felix noticed the bottles of soju strewn across the kitchen's granite countertop. Oh fuck- not again. They had never really talked about Jicheul's drinking habit, it was just the elephant in the room that was always there.

And when he drank, he got violent.

"Uhm- I have work at night, remember? I was at the studio." Felix said, beginning to clear the countertop of the bottles and throwing them into the recycling bin. "I thought you knew."

"No, I didn't fucking know!" Jicheul exploded, and before Felix could even register the movement in the shadows, his boyfriend was right in front of him in the kitchen, all looming height and broad shoulders. "Are you fucking cheating on me?"

Felix stared up at him with wide eyes, the moonlight bleeding in from the nearby window, casting darkness across Jicheul's scowling face. "W-What? No, of course not! Why would you even-"

"I saw you with him..." Jicheul started, voice low as death. Felix looked down to see his hands balled into tight fists at his side, and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. He reeked of it. "With that- loser."

Felix frowned at that, the insult burning deep inside his veins and causing the anger to rise in his heart. "He's not a loser, Ji. he's my best friend."

"Best friends don't hold each other's waists and lean in to whisper shit to each other."

"Well maybe if you had a friend, you'd know when to tell the difference between romantic touch and platonic touch."

Felix didn't know why he had said it. It just... slipped out. The words fell from his mouth before he could even comprehend what he was insinuating.

And the next thing he knew, Jicheul was glaring down at him with that same devilish expression he sometimes got when he was especially angry after a drink. "Oh- you worthless piece of shit." He roared out, and before Felix could even react, he was moving again.

His head twisted towards the right, left cheek burning from the impact. Squaring his shoulders, Felix stared back at Jicheul. At that moment- there was nothing there. Felix felt utter emptiness, a shell of the person he had once been.

"I should teach you a lesson, huh?" Jicheul continued, hitting his cheek again with his fisted knuckle. "Teach you how to be my good little bitch."

He was wrestling Felix onto the kitchen floor in the next breath, legs coming around Felix's hips as he reached out to his face again and again. The blows were loud inside Felix's ears, his vision bursting to life every time Jicheul took a hit.

He could feel his face growing puffy, his heart beating wildly in his chest as the pain began to spread across his body. He desperately tried and failed to pry Jicheul off of his form - but the older male was too tall and strong to fend off.

And when Jicheul fit his two meaty hands around Felix's neck, everything came to a standstill. The gloam of the apartment bent and twisted around them, as he squeezed just a little harder.

"Fucking useless cunt- think you can cheat on me with that fucker from your childhood." Jicheul was spitting out, breathing down on Felix's face as his fingers dug into his windpipes.

Desperately, Felix grabbed at his wrists, trying to pull Jicheul off of him. "P-Please, I-" He gasped out for dear life, the tears streaming down his face, running across his cheeks and into his hairline.

"Yeah, that's right... Beg for it, you bitch. Beg for my mercy." His voice was venomous and seething, but already growing faint in Felix's ears.

He was losing air, and fast. If he didn't do something drastic, he'd die at the hands of Jicheul. "Please, Ji- I'm sorry, please- I won't see him again, ever. I promise, j-just please!" He sobbed out in a scream, the sound of it echoing around the apartment walls in a resonant, horrifying kind of way.

Jicheul peered down at him with a deep sneer, white teeth glinting in the darkness as the foul scent of soju danced around them. "I could kill you right now- kill you for your worthlessness." He began, nails clawing at the column of Felix's neck and drawing blood as the younger scrambled to get free. He felt lightheaded, eyes rolling into the back of his skull from the agony of it all. "But I won't... because I wanna teach you a lesson," then, almost as quickly as it had started, he was letting go of Felix. "That if you ever go behind my back again- I will end you."

Felix gasped out, taking in shallow breaths as his lungs filled up with precious air again. Jicheul said nothing more after that, leaving him a pile of messy, bloody flesh and limbs on the kitchen floor there. And before he knew it, Felix could hear the resounding slam of the front door.

Just like that, it was all over.

For a few heart-pounding minutes, Felix lay there. The cool tile underneath him soothed his inflamed skin. His fingers hurt from the clawing he had been doing at Jicheul, and everything else was in burning agony - his face and neck.

But especially, his heart.

Finally, coming to terms with what he had to do, the blonde male rose from the floor on shaky legs. He wobbled over to their shared bedroom, ignoring the bed they had fucked on top of for so many years and stumbling over to the closet. He ignored the burning in his heart and the searing pain radiating across his face. In a matter of minutes, he had a duffle bag packed - stuffed to the brim with clothes and a few toiletries.

Then he was hobbling over to the front door, slipping on his sneakers and fitting a severely oversized black hoodie over himself. You know, to cover up the abuse. He flitted out of the apartment in less than ten minutes, frantically looking around to make sure the coast was clear.

He had no plan for the road ahead, but he did know who he could go to for help with figuring it all out.

Lee Minho.

His best friend since childhood and the single most person Jicheul had continually thought Felix was cheating on him with. The accusations had been brewing for years, things Jicheul would throw Felix's way whenever he was extremely angry with work or drunk out of his mind.

The hour to Minho's place was grueling, as Felix moved rather slowly through the subway station. But when he finally made it to Minho's apartment in the heart of Seoul, Felix took in a relieved breath. He didn't even know if he would be up - since it was so late at night. But seeing as he was also a professional dancer himself, Felix assumed Minho would've just gotten back from the studio. After all, he had been working on perfecting this one new choreo of his for the past two months.

He rang the doorbell and knocked three times. For a few moments, nothing happened. The silence stretched on around him and the dread took over his entire system.

Maybe he wasn't home, maybe he was out having dinner with some friends, maybe he was still at the-

But then the large door in front of him was swinging open, and a wave of Minho's scent washed over Felix - of sharp, woodsy cologne and deep roasted coffee beans.

"Lix? What are you-" He began, voice a little incredulous with surprise.

Felix wasn't looking at him, he had his face pointed down to the ground, studying his shoes. The shame washed over him then, dragging down his shoulders and making his heart face. "D-Don't be mad at me... please."

"Yongbok-ah..." Minho said in a quiet voice, using Felix's Korean name that his parents had given to him. Although he went by Felix, Minho was the only one who called him Yongbok on rare occasions.

He found the courage inside himself to raise his head from its bent position, and the moment he met Minho's eyes, he knew he was a goner.

Immediately, his best friend was gasping out loud sharply, fitting a hand over his mouth in utter shock as his eyes roved down the length of Felix's face and neck. He could only assume what he looked like just then - battered, bloody, and bruised.

"I-I'm sorry, I-" Felix was already crying out, the sobs wracking through his entire body and making his heart beat out of his chest.

But Minho said nothing more, and instead just pulled him through the doorway, closing and locking it behind him before he enveloped Felix in the tightest, warmest hug the younger had ever felt.

"Yongbok..." Minho started in a quiet voice, hand running through the younger's blonde tresses as he cried harder at the name. "Yongbok-ah, what... what happened?"

Felix just buried his face a little more in Minho's chest, clutching at his shirt for dear life as his tears blurred his vision. "D-Don't wanna talk about it..." He mumbled between his wails, legs growing weak from all of the mental exhaustion he had been dealing with for the past few hours.

"Baby boy..." Minho said in a faint voice, the sound of the sweet pet name ghosting over the younger's ears and causing his mind to grow a little light-headed again. "Can you let me help you? Let me make it all better, hmm?"

And how could Felix ever say no to that? Say no to his best friend that was trying - wanting to help him so fucking much, when no one else would? When his boyfriend had destroyed him so much.

"Y-Yeah... yes please." Felix leaned away from his chest, peering up at Minho. The edges of his vision were cloudy, but he could still make out the way Minho stared down at him tenderly. And when he reached out to gently tuck a strand of Felix's hair behind his ear, the younger let him. He didn't flinch away, instead leaning into the touch.

"Wanna pick you up... can I do that, sweetheart?" Minho asked. He always wanted to know what Felix wanted - he never did anything that made the younger feel uncomfortable.

Felix found himself nodding in the next moment, and then Minho was picking him up from the ground bridal style, holding him close to his body and carrying him over to the bedroom where he sat him down atop the downy mattress before gathering up the first-aid kit.

The silence fell between them after that, as Minho diligently worked to clean Felix's face up. He swiped rubbing alcohol against the cuts, applying a healing cream to the small ones on his neck before wrapping everything up in bandages.

"It was...Jicheul," Felix began, while Minho tried to fix him up as best as he could. In the past, Felix had come to his best friend after incidents with Jicheul had happened - after they had gotten into a fight or Jicheul had broken something in the house out of anger. But nothing had been as bad as the present moment. "I came home from work and he had been drinking and he was fuming- spouting all this bullshit that I was cheating on him and then, the next thing I knew, we were on the ground and he was on top of me and-"

He didn't realize he was starting to cry again until Minho placed a delicate hand atop his shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly. "Kitten... you don't have to say anything more if you don't want to."

Minho fit the first-aid supplies back into its container and sat back on his heels, taking Felix's hands into his and rubbing his thumbs across his knuckles slowly. "You know... I knew something like this would happen one day," he started to say, staring down at the way their hands were interlaced perfectly together. "After all the times you told me about his outbursts- it was only a matter of time before he turned everything onto you."

"I know... I know, I should've listened to you and everyone else... all the warning signs and the things you guys told me. And left his sorry ass, but I didn't."

Minho squeezed his hands a little bit then, forcing Felix to look up into his eyes and the way they held a delicate, sincere kind of light to them. "Honey... you were blindsided by the abuse. It's alright- I understand how such a thing can diminish your mind to a small thing."

"I know you're mad at me." Felix stared down at his lap and the way that their hands entwined together so flawlessly.

"Don't say that, Yongbok-ah," Minho said in a stern tone, just as he lifted Felix's hands to his mouth, offering his knuckles a gentle kiss. "I could never be angry at you. This isn't your fault- it never was. You were just the unfortunate person to get caught in the crossfire of... him."

Felix looked at him then. Like, really looked at his best friend. He saw so many emotions there on the elder's face - compassion, love, tenderness, and hidden beneath it all... rage.

"I just... wanted to make you happy, you know?" Felix whispered, voice cracking at the end of his words with all the feelings he had right then. "I wanted to make you proud. That's all I've ever wanted to do-"

"And you have, Yongbok-ah... you always do. Nothing you say or do could make me love you any less."

"Yeah, but it sure feels like I've let you down."

"It doesn't fucking matter how I feel, okay? You just escaped a psychopathic boyfriend, you are the main priority right now." Minho said in a grave voice, shaking his head slowly as he said the words. "Honestly, I should kill him with my bare hands for what he did to you- what he's been doing for the past five years."

Felix gaped up at him, eyes growing wide with concern. "N-No, please... don't. I can't lose you too. If you get locked away, I think I'll fucking die."

Minho leaned into him then, pressing their foreheads together gently. He chuckled softly, the warmth of it spreading across Felix's body and causing his heart to beat a little faster. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything drastic. I just... I'm really fucking angry right now, that's all."

"At me?" Felix asked, suddenly filled with so much concern again.

Minho leaned away just a tiny bit from him then, so close, that Felix could feel his warm breath fanning against his face. "No, never at you, Lixie." Then he was reaching out, brushing a gentle thumb across his tear-streaked cheek. "Who could ever be angry at such an adorable face?"

Everything grew quiet then, as their breaths mixed. For a moment, Felix thought his best friend would do something more - tip into him a little bit and kiss him. But instead, Minho just stared... into his eyes and around his face.

"Jicheul thought I was cheating on him with you."

Felix didn't know why he said it, the sentence just slipped out before he could reign his thoughts back in. Minho lifted a perfectly manicured dark eyebrow at him, chestnut-brown eyes glinting with a little bit of mischief.

"Well, isn't that comical..." His voice lilted off into the distance, as Felix caught his eyes lock onto his lips for just a second before they were rising again to meet his gaze. "But enough about that asshole- let's get you into bed."

Felix found himself agreeing with the older male, allowing Minho to help him underneath the thick duvet covers. He snuggled under the blankets, burrowing his face against the velvety pillow. But Felix opened his eyes again when he realized that Minho wasn't getting in next to him.

"Aren't you going to sleep too?" He asked, peering up at him with imploring, big eyes.

Minho stared down at Felix with a faint smile adorning his face. He tilted into his tucked-in form, brushing a few fingers through his blonde locks. "In a little bit... I have something to do first."

Felix nodded slowly, closing his eyes again at the absence of Minho's touch. "Okay, just... don't be too long, hmm?" He didn't want to admit it right then, but the thought of being left alone in such a dark room in such a large bed made his heart leap a little bit with anxiety.

"Wouldn't dream of it, baby boy."

Felix hid the smile that bloomed across his face at the nickname underneath the covers, and distinctly heard the click of the bedroom door shut as Minho left him to sleep.

As he was falling into dreamland, Felix could distantly hear Minho's soft voice through the apartment's thin walls.

"Yes, hi. My name is Lee Minho," he said in a hushed whisper. He waited a few beats and then continued. "I'd like to file a domestic violence report for my... friend..."

The next three weeks passed in a blur of Felix staying quiet and Minho allowing him time to heal. Felix didn't leave his side, and he was practically glued to his best friend's hip from the moment he woke up in the morning to the moment he came home from work at the dance studio.

It was two mornings after the incident, when Felix was practically clinging on for dear life to Minho's side that the elder looked down at him with a softness in his eyes. "I hate to leave you here like this..." They had spent the past weekend together, chilling out at his apartment, eating yummy food, and distracting Felix from all of the issues.

Shaking his head, Felix offered him a tiny, unconvincing smile. "It's fine... I'll be fine." But already, he could feel the prick of tears clouding the corners of his eyes."

"My poor, poor baby doll," Minho cooed softly, brushing a thumb underneath one of his eyes gently as he gave Felix's arm a light squeeze. "I won't be gone too long, yeah? Lunch is all ready and waiting for you in the fridge and there's plenty of shows to catch up on while I'm away."

"Okay..." Felix nodded, sniffling back the tears as he burrowed his face into Minho's thick jacket. "Just... come home right away, mhm?"

Minho was brushing some of his blonde locks behind his ear then, prodding him to look up and catch his stare once more. "Of course, doll face... you know I'll always come back for you."

And just like that, they had fallen into a rhythm together. Felix had decided to take a few weeks off from work - since he very well couldn't show up as bruised and beaten as he was. The worst part about it all, though, besides the wounds that Minho would help clean out every single night, was the mental effects of it all.

The late nightmares would keep him up until the wee hours of the morning. The loss of an appetite, the boredom and cloudy mind, racing heart, and the fear of being alone. And only after three days of sleeping out on Minho's living room couch - since he needed to put a boundary down somewhere - he found himself cuddled up next to the elder man, curled around his body as a wave of nightmare-fueled fear overtook his entire system.

Each time, Minho would lull him back to sleep. With gentle touches and satiny words and rocking to-and-fro. Like magic, Minho knew exactly what he needed, whenever he needed it.

But Felix could almost feel in the back of his mind - feel the knowing pulling deep within him - that he was beginning to overstay his welcome. After three whole weeks of being so cooped up in Minho's apartment both for safety reasons and for his sanity, Felix needed to get out. Needed to do something, look at something different, besides the four white walls of his best friend's place.

So that's how he found himself sitting in a corner booth at a local cafe near Minho's apartment. He had been there for hours already, sipping the day away with two whole cups of a pumpkin-spiced latte. He had brought a book to keep his mind busy, but instead of reading a single word, he just stared out the window.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten his phone back at Minho's apartment, so he had no way to check the time. But by the look of things outside the nearby cafe's window - he could take a pretty good guess as to the time of day. The sun began to set over the horizon, painting the sky in brilliant shades of dusty rose and golden topaz. Minho would be coming home soon from work since he usually finished up around six thirty on most nights. Living with him, Felix was quickly beginning to learn - memorize - his best friend's schedule.

Just when Felix was about to stand up from his comfy spot in the cafe, he spotted a couple walking by, bundled up against the frigid October wind, holding onto each other's hands as they walked with wide smiles adorning their faces. The sight of it all caused Felix's heart to shift and squeeze inside his chest, and he found himself sitting back in his chair, taking in the sight of them... not having a care in the world, oblivious to the pain that could happen in the future. The rift that might ultimately split them apart.

Seeing the couple reminded Felix of Jicheul... of the way they used to be when they first started dating back during their university days. They were so fucking in love with each other and head over heels. And within only a few months of dating, they were moving in with one another... that's how much they always wanted to be together.

But then, somewhere along the way, things had irrevocably shattered. Jicehul's drinking problem got worse and he got angry more easily and everything just... started to turn to shit.

Felix could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks in silent rivulets as he sat there, staring off into the distance, eyes trained on the waning daylight and how the moon slowly began to rise high in the sky. He sat there, oblivious to how late it was growing, wallowing in his sorrow.

It felt like his heart was about to shatter all over again, cracking open and turning raw and bloody... just like it had some weeks ago. Everything hurt - his body and his mind and his heart and... he just wanted to forget about it all and move on.

But apparently, he couldn't.

Nothing could help, not the movies, the food, or the board games. Not the moments he'd spend with Minho late at night at his apartment.

No one could help him.

He was all alone and-

His frantic, dark thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a finger tapping on his shoulder. He turned to the side to catch a glimpse of one of the cafe's employees looking down at him with a concerned face. "Uhm- sir... I'm about to close up the store- it's almost eleven."

Felix shot up from his seat with wide eyes, running an embarrassed hand through his hair and chuckling softly. "Oh, my bad- I didn't realize how late it had gotten... have a good night." Then he was flitting out of the cafe's front doors before the young girl who had served him his drinks a lot earlier in the day could see his state of mind. Could see the tears trailing across his freckled cheeks.

He held his book close to his chest the entire time he made the short trek back to Minho's apartment, heart clenching painfully in his chest.

He was so tired.

So fucking exhuasted.

He just wanted to lie down, go to sleep, and never wake up.

And then he made it to Minho's front door, keyed in the code, and locked the thing behind him as he stepped in. The palace was completely dark - void of any kind of light.

Immediately, he was brought back to that night- when he had come home from a long day at work to find Jicheul sitting in the living room, all alone...

"Where have you been?"

Minho's dry voice rang out across the apartment, and Felix shook in a wave of deja vu as he stared across the kitchen towards the doorframe of Minho's bedroom, where the elder was standing rigidly.

"Minho-hyung, I-"

"Do you have any fucking idea how worried I've been?" The elder began, voice low as death and gravelly at the edges. The sounds of it made Felix's shoulders tremble as he placed his book down on the nearby kitchen counter. "Do you have any idea how many fucking times I called you, trying to reach you?"

"I left my phone here- I'm sorry, I forgot."

Minho let out a dry, humorless chuckle. The sound of it made Felix's heart leap in his stomach, the lump forming in his throat. "Why the fuck would you leave it here when you know how I get?"

Feeling all of the anger and strife and sadness from the past few weeks build up inside of him, Felix burst out, "I'm sorry- okay?! I'm sorry I didn't take my phone with me and I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was at that local cafe just down the road!"

But Minho was right, Felix knew how he got. The younger male had already done something similar a week before, slipping out of the apartment and visiting a nearby 7-Eleven to pick up some breakfast early in the morning. Minho had called him frantically thirty minutes later, while Felix was checking out, wondering where he was.

The tears were springing free from Felix's eyes soon after his explosion, and he reached out towards the kitchen's cool marble countertop to grip onto the coolness for dear life. "I'm sorry- it's all my fault, I shouldn't have- shouldn't have done it," he shouted out, voice cracking in pain in tandem with his weak heart. "I'm so fucking stupid... I know that- you don't have to tell me- no one has to tell me because I already know."

With his eyes closed, he failed to see the shadows in the room moving, failed to notice that Minho was nearing him with quick, quiet steps.

"I'm sorry..." Minho started, his voice so close to Felix that he tore his eyes open to notice how near the red-haired male was to him. "Lix... I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to get angry, I just... I got so fucking worried when I came home and you weren't here and then it got later and you weren't answering your phone..."

Felix scrubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away. But they wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop his heart from shattering or his legs from quaking. "Everything slipped my mind. I needed to get out of this place and I guess I forgot to bring my phone, I'm sorry." His head drooped down, his focus landing on the dark tiled floor at his feet.

"Yongbok-ah... look at me, please." The distress in Minho's voice was palpable, but still, Felix couldn't heed his words. Then Minho was fitting a few fingers under his chin, gently tilting his head up so that their gazes locked. There, Felix found an ocean of feelings - agony, anger, but most importantly... adoration. He swallowed at the sight of it all, eyes puffy and face still sore. "I just... I would fucking kill myself if anything happened to you. I just want you to be safe and okay forever, you know? I love you so much, and if anyone- especially that fucker, ever laid their hands on you I'd-"

"You saying all of that won't help," Felix cut him off, shaking his head slowly in defeat. The tears had finally stopped and now he was just left as a shell of the man that he had once been - mind empty and heart beating lowly in his chest. "Nothing helps. Nothing will help. It's over. I'm... I'm done."

Then he was dragging out of Minho's grip in the next beat, and Minho didn't stop him. Because that's the kind of best friend he was - he wasn't going to force Felix to do anything he didn't want to, no matter what it was. Felix made for the nearby bedroom, face blank as he heard Minho trail in behind him.

"Don't say that Yongbok-ah... you know things will get better." The elder male was saying in a low tone.

But Felix just wanted to forget it all, forget all of the pain and heartache, and move on from it. But he couldn't, because that shit was here to stay.

"You've done enough for me, Hyung. I'm sick of taking, taking, taking from you and not giving anything back."

"You being here is enough of a payback - you being my friend is enough."

"No, it's not, and you know it."

"How do you know what's enough for me and what's not?"

Felix was turning around on his heels then, throwing his hands up frantically in the air. "Because I just do, okay?! I know that you're sick of me and that I can never repay you, and- and that I've overstayed my welcome." His voice cracked at the end of his words, but he refused to cry again. Refused to do anything more but stand there, near the bed, as Minho faced him just a few paces away.

"You don't know me, Felix."

"Yes, I do."

Minho was nearing him after that, face softening exponentially and lips pressing into a firm line as he folded his arms across his chest. "Then I guess you also know that I've been in love with you since fucking high school."

After that, everything stopped.

The air flowing through Felix's lungs stopped,

His heart stopped,

Hell, even his brain stopped.

All of him, every single fiber of his being, honed down to a single point. He could only focus on the red-haired man before him, his best friend since he was a little boy, and the words that he had just spoken into existence.

The confession he had just blurted out.

"Minho- what..." Felix began, but Minho was nearing him already, taking ahold of his hands and squeezing them slowly.

"It's okay, Yongbok-ah, I understand that this isn't the right time and you don't feel the same about me. But I just wanted you to know that I-"

But Felix didn't give him any more time to speak after that.

Instead, he just took ahold of Minho's face, hands fitting around his jaw and bringing him closer than ever before.

Their lips crashed together in the next instant.

It was explosive and otherworldly and... and everything Felix had ever wanted and dreamed and hoped of.

With a clash of teeth and the press of plushness, Minho was groaning into the kiss, hands quickly scrambling for something to hold. Desperately, he clutched at Felix's hips just as Felix pressed in a little closer to him.

Felix's tongue prodded at the line of his lips, and Minho allowed him entrance in the next breath, their tastes dancing a lilting kind of tango. In their haste of passionate kisses, Minho somehow managed to hoist Felix up into the air, holding him steady as the younger wrapped his legs around his waist.

In a matter of seconds, Minho was moving then, walking towards the bed. And then everything happened all at once... with Minho throwing Felix down onto the bed with his slim legs still wrapped around the elder's waist. Felix's blonde locks fanned out against the downy pillows as Minho's tongue teased against his.

Silence lapsed between them, the only sounds filling up the entire room being the noises that came from between them - wet lips and low groans and breathy cries.

Before anything could go further though, Minho was yanking away from Felix. Hands still digging into his hips, his fingers pressed in close to the younger's oversized grey sweatpants. "W-We shouldn't... Bokkie... it isn't- doesn't feel right..." He began, but already, Felix was trying to coax him back into the kisses - reaching up and twirling a few fingers through his crimson locks.

"Why? Because I just got out of a shitty relationship? Because we're best friends?" Felix questioned, silently enjoying the way his lips felt puffy and kiss-swollen. He felt hot all over and could feel the tent in his pants steadily growing.

Minho gave him a deep frown, palms sinking into the plush mattress at Felix's side. The younger wanted to whine out and cry for the absence of his touch against his hips, but he decided he'd save the begging for... later.

"Yeah- and just... you can't possibly want this right now- want me."

Felix made a noncommittal, low hum in his throat, before his hand drew away from the elder's crimson locks and his fingers were brushing against his smooth, milky cheek. "We'd be fools to ignore the shit that's been brewing between us for years, Minho. Almost everyone in our life has thought we've been dating at some point. Hell, even Jicheul accused me of cheating on him with you."

Minho frowned slowly, dark brows pulling together and eyes lighting up with a swarthy mix of barely checked desire and uncertainty. "I'm not going to be a fix for your problems, Felix- I can't be. That's something you have to work through yourself."

"I'm not asking you to be one. I just..."

Minho tipped into him, gently pressing their foreheads together and breathing fire down across his face as he prodded Felix to continue. "What, Lix? What is it?"

"I need to forget- just for a little bit, you know?"

The elder tilted away from his frame, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow his way. "And you think I'm gonna be the perfect fit for that?"

Felix shrugged slowly, brows crumpling as the words flowed from his lips freely, in a soothing tone. "I think that... I've always loved you- in more ways than just a friend can. And now is the culmination of all these pent-up emotions finally coming to a head so... why wait any longer?"

At his confession, Minho let out a low groan, nose digging into the crook between Felix's neck and shoulder blade. "Fuck, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that..."

"Help me, Hyung," Felix began after that, moving Minho's face so that they were staring at each other once more. "Can you do that... help me?"

Slowly, Minho ended up nodding, a dark smirk pulling across his lips as he gave Felix a heated kiss. "Where do you want me? How?"

But Felix didn't even need to reply, as he gripped a little harder onto Minho's waist and turned their bodies in a tumble of limbs. Soon, Minho was the one with his spine sinking into the mattress, crimson locks messy against the grey-colored duvet.

"L-Like this..." Felix muttered in barely-controlled lust, as his hands found their way to the waistline of Minho's joggers. He peered up at the older in silence, asking for permission. And when he got the all-clear, he was shucking them and his boxers away.

Instantly, Minho's cock sprang to life from being released out of the confines of his pants. Felix sat back on his heels between Minho's spread legs for just a few seconds, taking in deep breaths.

Because fuck, was it big.

Veiny, too. With a girth so wide, Felix had no idea how the night was going to end.

The tip was already pink and leaking out precum, the thin sheen casting a pretty glow against Minho's thighs. The bedroom was altogether dark, save for the pulled curtains nearby that offered a small amount of faint moonlight to bleed into the space between them.

"F-Fuck, you're so pretty..." Felix started, bringing his hands up to his lips and spitting on them dutifully before he reached out with supple anticipation toward Minho.

And the elder stayed completely still and silent for a few moments, as Felix felt him out. Curious palms wrapping around the base, fingers gripping just slightly before he began dragging his hands up to the tip, thumb playing with the leaking slit there.

Minho squirmed underneath him, and Felix caught his stare - the way his pupils were already blowing out and the way a dusting of a pinkish blush bloomed across his cheeks, trickling down the column of his neck.

"F-Feels so good, Bok... holy shit-" Minho croaked out in a resonant voice, moving his hips upwards just a tiny bit in time with Felix's touch.

As Felix began to play with Minho's cock with one of his hands, the other found its way to the hemline of Minho's baggy sleeping t-shirt. The one he always wore when he wanted to have a relaxing night around the house.

Slowly, in tandem with his tugs, his fingers lifted Minho's shirt. Until he caught sight of his soft, muscular abdomen, smooth skin gleaming in the twilight hours. His cute pink nipples pebbled against the cool night air, And soon, Felix found himself tilting into him slightly, mouth dropping open as his lips locked around one of his pecks, tongue coming out to poke around there at the bud before he began to suck with a vengeance.

The entire time, his attention was focused on the elder male; from the way that he writhed underneath his touch, hips thrusting against Felix's hand that was circling his hard cock, to the way that Minho allowed breathy, high-pitched moans to escape from between his lips.

"Never knew you'd be this way- so supple and pliant..." Felix chuckled darkly, as he squeezed a little harder around his cock, earning a low cry from the elder. Wet saliva leaked out from Felix's mouth, as he lapped at Minho's peaked buds. "You like this? Like your little angel Bokkie to fuck you... to suck on your nipples and squeeze my hands around your cock?"

Minho was nodding vehemently after that, swallowing down a large gulp and tearing his screwed-shut eyes open to look down at Felix. At the way his teeth clamped down around his peaked nipples and the way his fingers circled around his cock. "Y-Yeah... you have no fucking idea how long I've thought about this... fantasized about it."

"Bet you fantasized about other things too, hmm?" Felix mused, mouth trailing kisses down the center of his stomach and nearing his bare hips. "Bet you dreamed about this mouth wrapped around your dick- sucking you dry."

Slowly, Minho let out a low chuckle. "That too-"

But Felix didn't let him finish his train of thought, as he dropped his jaw wide open and fit his lips around his cock in the next instant. Hand playing at the base of Minho, tickling his balls, Felix began to bob his head up and down along his shaft, swirling his tongue with each movement of his neck.

"Ah- fuck!" Minho cried out, reaching for the younger's head and gripping at his bleached locks, guiding his movement along his cock to right where Minho needed him most. "Right there... fuck, Lix, you're sucking me off so well."

Felix hummed against his length, his lips slick and swollen from all of the kissing and sucking. The tip of Minho hit the back of his throat soon after that, but his gag reflex was nowhere to be found, and he took it all in stride. Lips parted around Minho's cock, Felix hollowed out his cheeks with each slow drag of his mouth.

Up and down, up and down.

The lewd, nasty sounds coming from Felix’s mouth were enough to make him lose just a little bit more of his sanity. And in that moment, he wasn’t thinking about anything else - just focused on Minho and trying to make him feel good. Trying to make himself forget about all the other shit in his life. Slowly, his hand pulled away from Minho’s cock and began to work at the waistband of his own joggers.

Then Felix moved his mouth off of Minho's cock, licking his lips clean of the pre-cum that had been leaking out of his puffy tip. “Can I use you, Min? Please?” He asked, as he ripped off his own boxers and t-shirt and threw them onto the ground behind him. “Let me fuck you nice and deep- help me feel good, please?”

And Minho mewled out weakly, shaking his head in reply as his lips parted open in a breathless, whispery moan. “Holy shit- yes, yes… do whatever you have to do to help yourself. Be selfish, just- take it all out on me.” The rest of his words caught in his throat as Felix’s cock sprang to life in front of him. All red and swollen and leaking an obscene amount.

Before Felix could regain any solid part of his sanity, he was reaching over across Minho and into the nearby nightstand. One day when he had been searching for a phone charger, he had caught a glimpse of a bottle of lube and condoms hidden underneath the piles of papers and books right there in the drawer. He plucked the half-used bottle of lube out, drenching his fingers and cock in the slippery, sweet-smelling liquid.

“Strawberry flavored?” He mused, raising a quizzical eyebrow Minho’s way as he neared him again, pressing his mouth against his and trailing his tongue around the line of his lips. “I didn’t take you for such a romantic…”

“Just- shut up already,” Minho murmured against his lips, but when Felix pulled away just a tiny bit, he saw the blush creeping across the older’s face, painting everything in a pink-toned hue.

Gradually, Felix’s fingers trailed their way between Minho’s legs, his other hand gripping on tight to his bare hip. “Just breathe in for me, yeah?” He coached, as his lubed fingers played with Minho’s rim. He could feel the older stiffen underneath him, eyes widening as soon as Felix began to slip a single finger inside his entrance. “Relax… it’ll only hurt for a few seconds.”

Minho reached out to Felix, hands coming up behind the nape of his neck, digits gripping at the blonde locks there as his eyes screwed shut. “To be honest- I haven’t bottomed in a while… I’m always the top, most of the time.” He whispered, mouth falling open and legs widening a little bit more in supplication as Felix added another finger.

“Hmm- you sure stretch out nice against my fingers though,” Felix said in a deep, prideful coo. He peppered light kisses across Minho’s face, mouth playing with the delicate features of his nose and cheeks. “Real nice and easy… I’d never guess you hadn’t bottomed recently, from the way your hole is sucking my hand in so nicely.” Just then, he added in a third finger, pumping in and out shallowly to get Minho accustomed to the feeling of it all.

Desperately, Minho’s eyes shot open and he bit down hard on his bottom lip. “N-No more foreplay… need you to fuck me right now… use me to forget about everything else…”

And how could Felix ever deny him something like that?

Ever deny such a stunning, angelic face, being scrunched up so wonderfully, lips parted and legs wide open just for him?

In no time at all, he was massaging the lube around his own cock, lining up his tip to Minho’s entrance, entire attention focused on the way that he slowly sunk into his hole. The stretch was incredible- making Minho convulse in pleasure underneath Felix as he gradually bottomed out inside of him.

“A-Ah… fuck!” Minho cried out the moment Felix froze in his place for a few beats to let him adjust. Then the elder’s face was darkening, his eyes growing swarthy as he stared up at Felix with dim, lust-filled feelings dancing right there in his irises. “Keep going, Lix… fuck me hard, please…”

That was all Felix needed to set him off.

Instantly, he was yanking out of Minho almost entirely, teasing Minho’s rim with his throbbing tip before plunging back into him at break-neck speed. The elder’s eyes burst open in surprise from the impact of it all, moaning out like a fucked-over anime bitch from the hentai mangas Felix sometimes read.

For a few moments, no words were spoken between the two of them. The room filled up with the sounds of Felix’s low grunts as he pounded into Minho at an ungodly speed. Meanwhile, Minho was squirming against the bed, crying out in pleasure every time the tip of Felix hit against that warm, star-filled spot deep inside of him.

“You’re so fucking pretty like this-“ Felix began in a deep growl, the tension around them snapping every time he felt his cock dig further and further between Minho’s squeezing walls. Rolling his hips against the elder, Minho began to meet his thrusts halfway, his arousal dripping out of the head of his pink, swelled cock. “My sweet, sweet cockwhore- legs wide open and eyes rolled back into your skull as I fuck your brains out…”

And he could feel how Minho liked his words - the dirty little thing liked the filthy ways Felix was speaking to him. It was apparent by the way the blush across Minho’s face bled into the column of his neck. It was apparent by the way that he whined out in pure, unadulterated bliss. And it was especially apparent by the way his back arched up and off of the mattress below him- walls fluttering around Felix's cock.

Felix continued at his unreal pace, surprising himself with how much stamina he had at that moment. He was chasing his release rabidly, jerking in and out of Minho’s hole without any sort of mercy. And Minho loved every second of it as his nails skirted down Felix's bare back, nails scratching at his spine.

“I’m gonna cum, f-fuck, Lix, I can’t-“ Minho hissed out, and Felix could feel the way the elder's hole clamped down a little harder around him, as the elder braced for his climax. “Can’t take it any longer- need to-“

But Felix was already guiding him through it all, hands reaching down between their hips that were meeting together with each thrust, taking hold of Minho’s rigid cock. “That’s it, darling… cum for me, hmm? Let it all out…” His voice was profound and lilting, coaxing out a slur of breathless moans and curses from Minho as he jerked his hand up the length of Minho at the pace that he drilled his cock into him.

For a moment, Minho went completely still - frozen, like a statue made out of pure, sparkling-spun glass. Then, all at once, everything collapsed and he was falling down the cliffside - hole pulsing around Felix’s cock as he jerked from side to side. The release was otherworldly - if the look on Minho’s face was anything to go by. His jaw dropped open, eyes rolling into the back of his skull, tears pricking at the corners of his long, dark lashes, the prettiest of cries falling from his swollen lips as Felix led him through his release. His seed spilled out across the younger’s small hand, covering his palm in stark whiteness.

Just from the sight of the older coming undone right before him, Felix was losing his last bit of control. “I-I’m going insane, fuck- need to…” He breathed out senselessly, chasing his high. His hips stuttered against Minho’s, as his release ripped right through his entire being. The bright-hot, crimson heat of it flooded through his system, lighting up his veins in brilliant casts of gold and violet. His cock swelled deep inside of Minho, his hips shallowly fucking his dripping release back into the older male with each pulse of the heat that coated his mind over and over again in pure, cosmic bliss.

When he was finally finished, Felix looked down to catch a glimpse of a glowing Minho, his entire face lit up with ecstasy, a huge grin pulling at the corners of his lips. Felix took one last powerful thrust, pushing the rest of his seed into the older, drawing out another weak whine from him.

“Why are you smiling like a maniac?” Felix chuckled, still staring down at the red-haired man, as he brought his hand away from Minho’s cock. His digits were covered and sticky, but he made diligent work of licking them clean. Much to Minho’s delight, he let out a low groan at the sight of it. “Damn- was my cock that good?” He made no move to pull out just yet, loving the way Minho’s warm walls hugged against his cock so tightly. The fit was immaculate.

Minho was already shaking his head though, hands playing with the messy locks of sweat-slick hair that had dipped into the front of Felix’s eyes from his excessive fucking. “Nah- just… I can’t believe I just got fucked by my best friend… something I’ve been wanting for so long, you know?”

That made a furious blush creep across Felix’s cheeks, as he tipped down into Minho, pressing a few light kisses against his red mouth. The older’s hair was disheveled, his shirt halfway pulled up across his chest, showcasing the sensitive red marks Felix had left with his attention there at his nipples.

“To be honest, I can’t believe it either,” Felix started, voice a low rasp against Minho’s lips. “And you were right- you did help me. In so many different ways. I don’t know how I’m ever gonna be able to repay you.”

For a moment, the silence stretched on between them. And when Felix tilted his head to the side awaiting Minho’s reply, the older just yanked him closer, mewling a tiny bit from the way Felix’s cock pressed further into his sensitive hole. “You can start your repayment by fucking me like that every single night… how does that sound?”

Threading his sticky digits through Minho’s red locks, Felix pressed another handful of kisses against his mouth, stealing the breath right out of the older’s lungs. “To be honest, that sounds like a fucking dream to me.”

And then their limbs tangled up again, and they were pressing into each other, kissing their worries away, hands exploring softly, and sighs flooding from parted lips.

It didn’t matter that Felix wasn’t over his ex.

It didn’t matter that he still had a long process to get over him - with loads of therapy and long talk sessions with his friends and family.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t know where he was going to go.

Because right then, all he wanted to do was delve into Lee Minho. Feel him in so many different ways. Ways that he never imagined he’d get to feel, in all his years of knowing the older male. Ways he never thought he’d want to feel in the first place, until Minho’s thoughts on him became apparent, and Felix realized he shared similar inclinations.

His best friend had been right, in the end.

Perhaps not everyone could help Felix,

But the person who could be the most successful in helping him along on his healing journey was Minho.

Whether that be in the bedroom, or out of it.

He was always going to be there, no matter what.

No matter who got in the way - abusive, insane exes, life-filled drama, rain or shine.

Lee Minho was there to stay.

Fin.

🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.

🌊 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @/leyknxw :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @/annsunakai :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @/wealwayskeepfighting :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @skzcollision :: @noellllslut :: @skz-streamer :: @hello-2-u-from-me :: @h0p3l3ssromantic :: @bangchanbighandsome :: @imastraykidsfan :: @feellikecinderella :: @hyundumpling :: @/weirdkoaladuck ::@hyunnieshannie :: @astralis-is-typing :: @ivyisnotokay

a blue tag means that there was an error in tagging you.

91 notes · View notes

spicerackofblorbos · 2 months

Text

Epilogue