#if it sucks abandon ship

[xray-vex]

IF IT SUCKS...ABANDON SHIP

#ofmd meme #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #you can leave #if it sucks abandon ship #if it sucks hit da bricks #can't believe i never made this one til now

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

"hey bud! Long time no see huh?"

"..."

"what? Still shocked about that lunatic lady? bAh- it's just a demon nothing too harsh y'kn-"

"you're an hypocrite master."

"..what?"

"you're an HYPOCRITE! You- YOU KEEP GETTING SAD AND- AND CLINGY- WHENEVER I'M NOT TWO FUCKING FEET AWAY FROM YOU BUT THEN YOU- YOU-..leave me to die with..those demons all of this time."

"..b-bud what are you talking about? I didn't left! I was- i used that telepathic call! Y'know?"

"except you were- always busy and when i called you just- avoided me."

"i..i was busy trying to save yo-"

"FROM WHAT?? Save me from what?! The lady? That- STUPID manipulative demon?! SHE ALREADY TOOK MY POWERS AND STAFF! I'm nothing NOW- and THIS is you protecting me?!"

"..."

"you suck at keeping friends and family more than my dad to be honest, you both suck at being an active figure in people's eyes."

"...."

"..b-..are you going to leave-?"

"whY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THAT?? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT! WHY DO YOU CARE IF I LEAVE?"

"i-"

"you're fucking immortal and have nothing to do all day other than TALK TO ME and yet you're ABSENT IN MY LIFE like- LIKE MY FATHER."

"I'm sorry buddy- I'm really am-"

"oh don't buddy me! If you wanna go back to that stupid vacation just go. You have more- immortal god thingy things to do."

"no- no I'm here to help and protect you!"

"i don't- need protection. I need a father in my life that doesn't end up leaving me."

#alright guys #here's #MK and wukong angst #of the #time swap au #this was when MK saved wukong frok the lady bone demon and brought both in the ship where the others were #MK is scared shitless that wukong will leave #both as a friend and physically #so he tried to help by getting something to defeat the lady bone demon #but wukong couldn't stand another one of his parent figure to just leave for this long #[heaven time sucks] #sun wukong #lego monkie kid #monkey king #monkie kid #mk #lmk mk #mk lmk #MK abandonment issues are showing #and wukong is just tired kf people leaving him

[greenreticule]

Star Wars

gave me the

one goddamn romantic relationship

that i would eat right fucking up

the one goddamn romance this romance-repulsed aromantic

would go absolutely feral for

and Star Wars is just

leaving it

She Calls Him “Dexi Jet”

They’re a Pair of Old Scoundrels

They Wrote Fucking Letters To Each Other

On Paper

In Star Wars

Star Wars

WHY DID YOU UNEARTH THIS FUCKING GOLD

AND THEN JUST SLEEP ON IT

#dexter jettster #maz kanata #STAR WARS ALL YOUR MOVIE CHARACTER CANON SHIPS FUCKING SUCK #EXCEPT THIS ONE #WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED IT

[apertures-angel-archive]

idk man i think you need to consider that even though they're fictional some people's real anxieties and other mental problems including trauma responses seep into our imaginations with self shipping without our control at all and so we start thinking that we aren't good enough for a fictional character and sometimes we want to vent about this. maybe don't get all frustrated because not every single person is the same as you

#vent cw #im sorry im tired of people saying shit like 'you CAN pull your fav' and then being angry about ppl who express #and vent about their anxieties around this #like fuck man i would LOVE for my abandonment issues and severe debilitating anxiety to not seep into my #self ship thoughts but here we ars #thinking that i'm not good enough for a fictional character #it SUCKS and i DON'T fucking need people being angry and annoyed at me or anyone else for this!? #it just makes me feel even worse and makes my negative thoughts abt my f/os disliking me even worse too #sorry to vague i just hate that this is a talking point in this community rn #it's so inconsiderate of others' feelings n shit y'know?

[breakfastteatime]

When a literary agent says you're a good writer and rejects you anyway...

#Best. Friday. EVER #i don't talk much about my original writing here #but let me tell you #rejections suck #even a really lovely one like this #the agent was SO kind #but her timing was not great #like that's just a nice bookend on what was a pretty shitty week #OH WELL #this is why i write fanfiction #BACK TO THE ABANDONED SHIP FIC WITH NO REAL TITLE!!! #seriously though this agent was so lovely and i am bummed i won't get to work with her #if i felt well i'd be going for a really angry run right about now #instead i am gonna eat pizza #and cry at some point #crying is healthy

[meteor752]

I’ve been watching season 5B of total drama for only three minutes, two minutes of which was exposition, and the cast already has shown more personality than the Revenge of the Island cast did in their entire season (Excluding Mike and Dawn)

#Mike had a lot going for him in terms of personality you could say #And Dawn was my childhood crush I can’t abandon my girl like that #But yeah the season four cast sucked I hates like all except three of them #I have c*vid rn so I’m stuck at home and the best way to pass the time is by watching Total Drama #A show I haven’t watched in like eight years or something #Big Alejandro fan and big Noah fan #Big Alenoah shipper is what I’m saying #Also love Chris and Chef #Every other ship is dull #total drama #total drama pahkitew island #total drama revenge of the island #Total drama revenge of the island neg #tdroti #Tdp

[yonker-tonker]

always Always thinking about the ideal nightbird arch

#running on a fugue and should write while inspired like a sim :) #nb learning basic decency and a sort of morality after being placed in a position where she had no say in her morals #and learns what anomity #autonomy* #is what it actually means to her #leaving the decepticons to become a person! she becomes a mercenary! where she chooses what she wants to do! #becoming the ultimate freelancer (still killing people but now its not an emotional crutch but just work) #a robot becoming human story except everyone /is/ a robot and she doesn't need to fall in love to be considered whole #thats why when the nb clones happen (a la legends comic but I take the concept way too seriously) #she doesnt bloody murder kill them (maybe a couple actually. girl likes to fight) like she would in the past #BEFORE she figured out why she would be so upset at this happening to her #*she would have felt used and worthless (esp megsy heaping praise on her then STOPPING and abandoning her but I force myself to stay on top) #ic) #she now has the self awareness and a solid sense of self that she doesnt obliterate them for existing #She doesnt Care for them nor does she want to help them much but she gives them the decency to let them be people and to find a life #and ^ this ^ is only a single arm in this giant spiral galaxy on 'nb is blorbo extreme and my space ship is violently spinning aroun the #blackhole thats keepin this bitch together #anything that follows creation > failure > Cons > cons suck > leave > merc IS good actually as long as she an actualy character #because for the love of god if shes just a half baked megs obsessive simp #god forsaken 'he saved me uwu thats why he left me to die' bullshit! #i need to cut off me legs for this post this taglisting is going to have a long post tag

[depresseddepot]

the absolute ecstasy I felt when I went to explore what I thought was a stylized black hole (the white hole station), couldn't go into it, and then connected the dots when I found the black hole in brittle hollow

#every year or so I have a couple weeks were I hyperfixate on black holes and what realistic ''warp'' technology would look like #and though I usually forget most of it when I move on I DO remember the theory of white holes #that a black hole is like a tunnel rather than an orbiting body #if I remember right that is a HOTLY debated hypothesis (and thus not a theory) but to see it used so unexpectedly #regardless of real life implications is so so so exciting to me #also I landed on the interloper and my ship got sucked away by the sun. so i suffocated to death on a ball of ice lmfao #i love this game so much #the controls are incredible for how complicated space travel is and it takes some getting used to but its like. second nature now #i get so freaked out at the possibility of falling into open space tho it always gives me a heart attack #so exploring interloper and the white hole was TERRIFYING cause I really just had to like. abandon my ship and allow myself to die horribly #i love this game man

[fionnaskyborn]

oh yeah i've figured out what the issue is i keep going to the tags looking for. art of my au. or at least something with similar vibes. looking for space opera things. in the goofy military game house. whose enjoyers discuss either the drama of it all (of the not in the slightest adherent to the actual source material kind) or whichever of the same ten unfunny memes are currently in rotation. sir you're at the wrong store

#sucks sucks sucks sick and twisted how i can't beam these scenes directly from my brain onto paper #i implore the spartans to stop dancing to bowie songs in space PLEASE #THIS ISN'T ABOUT H_A_L_O BY THE WAY I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH #oh my god i just realized that this au is like a child of two divorced parents AHAHHAHAHAHAHA #to me at least because one point of origin of its is one of my most beloved things with whose community i've had nothing but jolly good #times #and the other point of origin is the thing i love approximately just as much but in whose community i have no friends because everyone has #null media comprehension or has abandoned ship a long long time ago #(sans the one mutual i have from there you know who you are if you're reading this you're wonderful and i am eternally grateful for you #liking that tsoi meta post i made a while back. you're a real one ✊) #logs #i've had a wonderful day today so i'm off to write about that :) #i'm still laughing so hard at this though. sir you're at the wrong store. you're looking for mcdonalds not

[musical-chick-13]

The worst thing, actually, is trying to write for a niche/character/ship/fandom/etc. that ISN'T rare, exactly, but also isn't incredibly popular. If no one is going to see it because no one's interested, then it doesn't have to be good. If there are tens of thousands of options, it doesn't matter if people hate yours, they can just go elsewhere. But if interest in the topic is small enough that everyone can reasonably get through all the works about it, but large enough to potentially have people actually discussing it........HELL

#I AM HAVING A CRISIS #yeah yeah don't do things for validation from other people. I know #but have you considered that if I am Perceived™ in any significant way (especially if that way is 'incompetent') then I WILL explode #literally and actually. into thousands of separate pieces. none of which can be salvaged. #genuinely every couple of days I go 'I shouldn't write this I suck too much as a person' but I know that if I abandon it then the mental #illness wins. and I am SO tired of it winning it's been winning for the past four years #but I don't know how much longer I can keep screaming at myself that I'm allowed to do things #ALSO. for something like...idk go. which is the only popular thing with a popular ship I genuinely fully like. if I go 'oh I have an idea!' #then 100% SOMEONE has already written it #but for anything else. /I/ have to be the one to write it if I want it to exist #and for something like silmir or obscure dutch opera that's fine because literally it is ONLY for me there is no way ANYONE will #even approach those because people simply Do Not Care #so it HAS to be me writing for myself because there is literally no other reason that could logically possibly be attached to writing it #but for something like *mumbles indecipherably* it's in this really terrifying middle ground because #I STILL have to be the person to do it if I want it to exist but there are enough other people willing/excited to read it that it's hard to #avoid the 'then it has to be GOOD' approach to writing something #which is a hell of a thing for me to say when my self-proclaimed motto is 'be cringe af' #anyway. happy spooky day I hope everyone is doing well

[viegoheigaari]

I was about to make a "WHY THE FUCK AM I SEEING HUMANIZED TWITTER x TUMBLR" art post but than I realized that this is tumblr. my roots. this is just what tumblr does

#its so weird going from like #having 50 aesthetic blogs on tumblr circa 2013-17 #abandoning ship because of The Ban #than coming back because Twitter Fucking Sucks #And the websites userbase STILL acting the same #its like tumblr is a stagnant time chamber but in the best way possible

[apertures-angel-archive]

i truly do feel bad for blocking ppl who also self ship w gl.a.d0.s but as much as i try i just cannot handle it :[

#lovey hoots #the abandonment issues + the RSD = hell on earth(my brain) when i see others ship with her #i guess. #maybe there's more to it idk. #and it SUCKS and i feel so bad about it ;;;

[solemntitty]

the top ao3 stories for this fandom im reading have author's notes asking ppl not to tag it as [alternate ship name] or to stop having fights in the comments abt ships and im. listen ik its a fandom comprised of a bunch of 13 year olds. lets be grateful it hasnt regressed to adults suing over ships bc man that was Peak.

#jamie has made a statement #y'all remember that one hp fandom fight that went to court over smth #god that was so stupid #anyways everyone writing fics seems to be New to Drama #also so many ppl in this fandom r like. terminally online 14 year olds #i just wanna read about weird ship dynamics and immortals man #i also realize the hypocrisy of complaining abt ppl complaining abt drama However #but also sucks that the authors feel they have to do that like bruh if i dont like a fic i leave #thats the correct etiquette and always has been #i do remember one sw fic i read the author got death threats sent to her children #i think she ended up abandoning the fic which is sad bc it was over a million words and i was Invested #anyways ya boy is abt reading whatever the fuck u wanna read in fandom if u dont like that unfollow me idgaf

[theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction]

Imagine Zoro accidentally giving Sanji advice about you…

“Can you stop mooning over Y/n?” Zoro grumbled as he tipped his head back and swallowed the bitter liquid. “It’s annoying.”

He had been drinking peacefully at the table until he noticed the not-so-subtle glances the cook was sending you. Once was tolerable but at the rate that he was doing it, Zoro had had enough.

Sanji stared into his own glass. His fingers toying with the cigarette before he scoffed. “Your concern is touching, Moss Head.”

His eyes darted up to where you sat at the bar. You were laughing at something a stranger had said. It was effortless and kind and purely you. But despite it being no different to how you behaved with the others, it drilled a hole in his stomach for his heart to fall through.

Looking away, he sucked in a sharp breath. “I just don’t want to see Y/n’s feelings hurt by some lowlife pirate who doesn’t know their worth.”

“At least that guy’s doing something about it instead of pining from across the room.” Zoro commented. When he saw the deflated look on Sanji’s face he set the drink down and sighed. “Listen. I’m no expert but, from what I’ve seen, bottling emotions for too long tends to backfire.”

Turning away Zoro poured himself another drink. “If words are failing you, cook Y/n a dish that explains your feelings or something.” He glanced at Sanji to offer him a refill but found that the seat he occupied was empty.

Through the window, there was a blonde-headed figure retreating towards the ship.

Zoro rolled his eyes and brought the bottle to his mouth, completely abandoning his glass. “Ah, shit.” He mumbled before taking a large gulp of the liquid.

Masterlist here (for more One Piece)

#gif is not mine #theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction #theladyofmanyfandoms #vinsmoke sanji imagine #sanji vinsmoke imagine #sanji x you #sanji imagine #sanji x reader #opla!sanji x reader #opla x y/n #sanji opla x reader #opla imagine #opla x reader #opla!sanji imagine

[lowkeycasanova]

baby it's hot out here

sanji x f!reader

plot: sanji seeing you innocently suck on a popsicle gives him inappropriate thoughts

warning: smut (18+)

It was hot.

Brutally hot.

The weather in the New World was unpredictable. From boulder sized hail, lighting rain, and now scorching rays. The relentless sun beat down on the Thousand Sunny. The air felt thick and stifling, as if nature conspired to make taking each breath a conscious effort.

The cool breeze of the ocean seemed to have abandoned the ship, leaving you all subject to the oppressive heat.

Amidst the sweltering conditions, everyone sought refuge where they could find it.

Luffy was sprawled out on the deck, his hat covering his face. Zoro was in the shadow of the ship's mast, still practicing his swordsmanship with beads of sweat running down his face, with Franky and Brook sitting close by. Usopp leaning over the edge of the ship in an attempt to catch whatever breeze was sent his way.

You, Nami, Robin, and Chopper, who diligently tried to cool himself with a handheld fan, laid in the shadows on the deckchairs.

"It's so hot, I'm sweating cola." Franky announces.

"You know," you heard Brook say as he flexed his arm and leaned on it like a pillar for support. "If you pretend it's a sauna, it's actually not so bad."

Sanji was in the kitchen, determined to whip up a refreshing drink for you ladies. Everyone else can get their own.

Bringing the drinks out, he makes his way over to you, Nami, and Robin, leaning down like a gentleman, offering the glasses.

"Thank you Sanji." Robin says politely and his heart skips a beat.

Nami takes one as she continues to examine her log pose.

"Thanks but, can I get one of those popsicles we just got?" You asked him, lifting up your sunglasses. It was at the last island the crew was at where you were gifted with a bag of these treats called popsicles that you never had before and had the desire to try.

"Of course, love. Anything you want." He replied with a suave grin. He made his way back to the kitchen, pulling out the bag from the freezer, ready to present it to you in a flourish.

You squeal in delight as you rummage through the assortment, Sanji watching with a lazy grin. You waste no time tearing the plastic wrap off a blue raspberry flavored one, bringing it to your lips. And it's so hot that it seemingly starts to melt already.

Sanji eyes a cherry one, but decides against taking it. He didn't need the sugar.

He puts the rest back in the freezer and walks back out on the deck with his own glass of ice water. He momentarily takes his cigarette out of his mouth to take a sip of water and he glances back at the beautiful ladies laid out adjacent from him.

Right then, you hold the treat in your mouth, as you take of your shirt, leaving you clad in a bikini top and shorts, leaving little to the imagination.

That alone would send Sanji over the edge, but now paired with the fact that your lips are stretched around the popsicle, sinking lower to the base and back up again, eyes fluttering closed.

His eyes go wide and his throat dry. He watches you slowly pull back off it, a sweet hum coming from your mouth and the wet noise pierces his ears.

His mind is going crazy. His cock is getting hard. Your eyes are closed and Sanji knows it's in part because it's hot and because you're enjoying the sweet treat, but part of him wonders if that's what you'd look like after getting fucked by him.

He tries to shake the thoughts away. He can't have one of his episodes right now. But the more he thinks, the more he can see it play out.

Him sitting on the bed, you kneeling down on the floor in front of him while you suck him off.

He's brought back to reality. You're in conversation with Nami, laughing at something she said, while using your tongue sweep over the length of the popsicle. Then using your thump to wipe away some of the stickiness from your lips.

Sanji was hanging by a thread. He abruptly sticks the cigarette back in his mouth and storms off, ignoring Franky's call.

"What's the matter bro?"

Luffy lifts his hat up and shrugs. "Maybe he has a stomach ache."

His cock gets harder with every step he takes. Making a beeline for the bathroom, he rushes in and immediately locks the door. He undos his belt, tugs his pants down, and frees the part of his shirt that was tucked in.

His back is pressed against the wall, head thrown back. His chest heaves with heavy breaths as he squeezes his length. He feels the pangs of a sinful conscious. Nami would punch him into next week if she found out that he had gotten off to the thought of you like this.

Maybe that's what makes it more exhilarating.

His eyes flutter closed and the cig is long gone. It must have fell out when he was coming here. But no matter. His thumbs his tip, spreading his arousal over himself.

"Fuck, love." he breathes. He can see it now. You on your knees with your delicate little hand around his throbbing dick. He feels himself spasm in his hand.

A groan escapes his mouth as his clenched fist begins to move up and down his thick shaft.

He imagines you wrapping your mouth around him. The soft feeling of your cheeks as his tip nudges that little dangly thing in the back of your throat. "Yes, mhm, take it. Such a good girl." he sighs. "Keep sucking for me, just like that. You know how to do it."

His knees are shaking and his dick is throbbing and leaking. He's soaked from his own arousal but so badly wants it to be from your own.

Your pussy. Oh god.

Now he can't stop picturing your swollen lips and pulsing clit. His imagination will be the death of him. The idea of you laying back for him, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can see him, and spreading your thighs.

He gets comfortable and puts a finger in between your soft folds. You're dripping for him. Him.

His hand picks up the pace and feels this tingly sensation in his stomach.

He slaps his tip against your clit a few times. That makes you arch your back as he pushes his way in. The feeling of being stretched makes your walls tighten. He gulps, trying to compose himself. "So fucking tight."

Your pussy squelches with every thrust, breasts are bouncing and nipples erect. You're desperate, begging him for more.

The veins in his head and the muscles in his neck pop. He's a grunting mess. Gritting his teeth, using the stamia he has left to focus. He is too far gone to tease himself.

He now sees you still laying on your back, but you're giving him a handjob. Milking him for all he's got.

"Ugh, fuck!" he cried out, slamming his back against the wall as he cums. It's thick and white and he imagines cumming all over your chest. But in reality, the sticky arousal is all over his hand.

His cock softens in his hand and he breathes to try to calm down. Sanji takes a look at the mess he made, letting out a blissed, fucked out laugh, not even trying to hide the smile on his face.

#one piece #one piece sanji #op sanji #sanji fanfic #sanji x y/n #sanji x you #sanji x reader #sanji smut #one piece fanfiction

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.

tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.

around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.

arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.

theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.

ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.

jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.

cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.

robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.

sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.

robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.

tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.

at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.

with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.

at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.

rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.

#asoiaf #asoiaf au #asoiaf modern au #eddard stark #catelyn stark #ned x catelyn #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #robert baratheon #robb stark #jon snow #bran stark #arya stark #sansa stark #rickon stark #joffrey baratheon #myrcella baratheon #sorry for the tommen erasure :(