bibiundtinaundzombies

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

SCREAMING

#uh oh

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

I love the Lannisters because unlike the Targaryens or Starks they’re completely human. They don’t have Dire Wolves or Dragons to protect them. They throw money at their problems and hope it works.

#money or wildfire molotov cocktails #somehow it works

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

#cha cha cha by käärjiä #has been for a year #cha cha cha cha cha CHA

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

at least once a day i think about victoire desgraves and about how she god’s perfect creation and the greatest person to ever have walked the earth and about how much i love her and about all the crimes i’d commit against letty and the nation of france to keep her safe from harm.

#victoire desgraves #i love her so much my heart explodes when i think about her

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

why is the mayor such a freak?? hello?? did grandpa know about this?? if so he REALLY could’ve given a heads up or something

#anti mayor lewis #fuck do you want with my perfectly artisan truffle oil #this is like haley cucumber gate except infinitely worse #kill yourself lewis joba sees all

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

Okay, this has been bothering me since my first playthrough of Stardew Valley. Lewis is a complete shitheel of a human being, which the player finds out over time spent exploring, fixing the community center, talking to the citizens, and doing side quests.

He embezzled tax money to make a solid gold statue of himself instead of fixing up the community center. He yells at Sam for daring to skateboard on the paved sidewalk. He doesn't like fish, so he always gives Willy the lowest score during the Fair. He is actively stringing along Marnie into having a secret affair instead of a relationship out in the open because he fears the town's reaction. Any time you put his dirty laundry on display (sometimes literally), he pays you off and tells you to mind your business. When the Luau is underway, he is snappish to you and the rest of the town, but is polite to the Governor, and if the soup isn't good enough, he will chastise the townsfolk, implying blame everywhere but to himself. He is a corrupt politician, point blank.

One of his dialog options is the following when you chat with him: "I've been Mayor of Pelican Town for over twenty years! No one ever runs against me when it's time for an election. I like to think that it means I'm doing my job well. I like being Mayor.”

There is no Election Day event in Stardew Valley.

I understand that this game has to have a certain amount of cozy small-town charm where little things change, but overall things stay the same. However, it would be great to have an Election Day in the vanilla version of the game so that we can have more development in that area, if for no other reason than to vote for somebody other than Lewis as a write-in, if it turns out that nobody runs against him...or to nominate myself once I have full hearts of everybody in town.

#anti mayor lewis

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

australians: gun control worked here

white american male: source???

australians: we are still alive

#when you say gun control works in germany you WILL get called a nazi #pronounced in the way aldo raine pronounces it #näazey #exactly like that

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

jaimefailures and cringefail moments in agot ranked by how hilarious they are to me personally

honorable mention: getting captured by a ginger kid half his age who has never been to battle and grew a beard like last week

5. hitting on the mom of the boy lord who captured him right after he gets captured—in front of the boy and his bannermen

4. throwing bran from the tower (but not hard enough)

3. i know i talked about this in another post but losing his tilt against the hound so bad that his super cool customized golden helmet gets screwed on backwards so he has to be shuffled off at stage right while peasants laugh at him

2. matching outfits with cersei //context is that he’s just thrown bran from the tower, but matching outfits in their 30s is embarrassing enough

1. having his name tossed around for major government positions (warden of the east, hand of the king) but not getting them because everybody finds him annoying as hell

#oh jaime you wet cat

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

#anti taylor swift #i’m serious about my cha cha cha agenda #finnish manwhores over t swizzle any day

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

watching my surroundings listen to tortured poets department like i haven’t stopped listening to all music in favor of cha cha cha by käärjiä after the eurovision 2023 because i gotta respect a guy with that many ä’s in his name.

#i am german and i gotta support my fellow umlaut users #tortured poets department #taylor swift #cha cha cha #käärijä #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #i don’t speak finnish i just scream CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA and shut my mouth for the rest of the song

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

i hope against all advice to the contrary grrm doubles down really hard on the fake history thing for f&b2 i hope that shit is borderline nonsensical. i want to have less idea of what happened after reading

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

if i was a knight in medieval times i would be the guy who dies a gruesome probably accidental death that ruins the whole tourney for everyone

#me when i’m ser hugh of the vale

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

barry, jorah, targ stans and illyrio when 300+ years of unchecked targaryen insanity amplified by habsburgian inbreeding make the traumatised teenage girl with three nukes and an army do some stuff:

#i‘m not tagging this man i choose life

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

type of post that necessitates going into witness protection but i always interpreted ‘arya looks like lyanna’ more as ‘lyanna was a tomboyish little girl in life and misremembered as an idealised standard passive lovely maiden in death the perfect dead girl for men like robert to compare bitch wife cersei to’ and not ‘arya doesn’t know it but she’s actually a lovely northern rose and much prettier than sansa’

#gonna reblog this and then leave the country and begin a new life #see you guys in ecuador

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

Can you imagine the incandescent rage Cersei would feel if she knew Stannis Baratheon WAS seduceable all along she just had to magically kill one of his brothers? My girl would be steaming she'd be like I DID THAT WITH MY WITS AND JUGS (of wine) AND SOMEHOW IM IN THE WRONG???

#cersei realizing all it would‘ve taken was some red box dye and some valyrian lessons on duolingo #and some entry level blood magic of course yeah sure

[bibiundtinaundzombies]

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”

That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”

oh, that hurt

I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots

the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life

on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious

I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was

The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”

God.

for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again

it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”