#if anyone knows what anon is referring to and I’m just wrong please tell me

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Hey could I please request a newly diagnosed autistic little reader x daddy Eddie pls? Because I’m feeling very insecure about it and I don’t know what to do now that I have a diagnosis and it’s really overwhelming

Overwhelmed | Eddie Munson x Reader

A/n: okay hi anon I’m really hoping I did this correctly as I am not a diagnosed autistic and I don’t want to do any injustice to anyones diagnosis/condition. I do have suspected adhd or autism so I implemented my own sensory issues/stims , please please let me know if I’ve done something wrong though, my intention is never to offend anyone!!

A/n .2 : this is for you specifically anon, your diagnosis does not change who you are as a person in any bad way, you are amazing in every single way you always have been! My messages are always open if you ever wanted to talk, it can be about anything, tell me all about your special interest if you’d like, anything and everything <3

Warnings: mentions of dnd monsters, diagnosis insecurity, sensory issues, stims, anxiety/feeling overwhelmed

~

“Are you okay baby?” You whine at Eddie’s caring words, you’re not okay but he’s having fun and you don’t want to wreck that. It’s just too loud and your sweaters scratchy and you need to move but can’t as this Hellfire meeting is very important.

“Little one, what’s wrong?” Eddie turns to you in an instant, letting the Hellfire members ramble to each other and ignore the slight interruption you’re causing.

“It- it’s kinda loud Ed’s and I’m just uncomfortable.” Within seconds Eddie’s getting the attention of everyone standing at the other side of the table.

“Guys we’re gonna have to cut this meeting short, we will pick up later this week with Wills decision on the monsters he’s fighting or not.” The clubs faces all have the same confused expression but Eddie’s tipping his head over to you and they’re quick at packing up their respected stuff while Dustin calls up Steve to give the kids rides home.

“Ed’s you didn’t have to do that, I’m okay.” You say quietly, you always get insecure about having to leave fun experiences early because of sensory issues or some other problem others don’t seem to have.

“Nonsense, I told you I’d always be there for you and I intend to stick to that.” He’s referring to the day you had come home with that little envelope that confirmed all the suspicions you had, it gave an answer to everything and that terrified you. But Eddie was right there to reassure you that you are still you and he doesn’t care what that envelope says since he loves you and will do his best to support you in any way.

“You’re too good to me.” You’re lifted up onto Eddie’s hip as he closes his book up and watches the kids file out to the parking lot.

There’s a few minutes he waits, holding you close while making sure each kid is picked up by someone, then he walks you both over to his van. Eddie gets you situated in the back so you’re able to with-go wearing a seatbelt, it might be a tad unsafe but the feeling of the strap against your chest always felt suffocating. Your boyfriends been more than understanding with the issue.

“How you doing back there sweetheart?” He can probably see how you keep pulling at your shirt collar, it’s a tell tale sign that you’re getting more overwhelmed.

“Mm- I don’t like this Ed’s.” You’re close to tears at the feeling of your skin almost vibrating under your clothes, it’s an awful sensation in your opinion.

“I know love, we’re almost home.” You try to nod at the reassurance in Munsons tone yet you can’t find it in yourself to.

~

As soon as you two enter Eddie’s trailer you’re stripping the sweater you had off and all but ripping the jeans from your legs. Your breathings getting worse the more overwhelmed you get, you’re about to just slide to the wall and start rocking the same way you did as a child when this would happen but Eddie’s appearing in no time.

“Arms up.” You listen, letting him slip a ‘Metallica’ oversized shirt over your head then a pair of his old basketball shorts onto your legs. It’s much much better than the outfit you had on before.

“What else can I do to help?” Eddie stands beside you as you start to pace and flap your hands up and down rapidly.

“Um- Um- can you jump with me?” Eddie has a grin across his face as he gently takes your hands and you two begin to bounce up and down. Hums start to come from you, a vocal stim Eddie mirrors at time, now is one of those times, the trailer quickly fills up with both of your hums and the sound of the floorboards squeaking under you.

“Helping?” You nod happily, the anxiety leaving your system as you jump a little higher.

“Mm! Thank you, thank you!”

“Always baby, always.”

#jj writes #stranger things agere #eddie munson #eddie x reader #little!reader #caregiver!eddie #autistic reader

[fastcardotmp3]

you are the only person in this fandom i trust to talk about nancy so i just need you to know that during my rewatch i noticed nancy says “bullshit” SEVERAL times in season one, then obviously calls steve/their relationships bullshit at the halloween party in season two, then murray refers to the evidence nancy and jonathan bring him as bullshit (to the general public) and i just feel like that is so delicious to me. like i’m over fics where steve has ptsd related to the word bullshit and i need nancy to reclaim it lmfao

me, trying to proofread my fic all night: I have lost all grasp of the english language I can no longer Read

me, seeing an ask about nancy: OKAY SO-

anyways first of all I'm honored you trust me with nancy but I promise there are plenty of us out here who get her! nancy haters are So Loud about telling on themselves (even when they think they're being subtle) but we are here in our little corner of the fandom where we use our critical thinking skills <3

second of all!! AGREED!!!

steve is out here having been assaulted, tortured, drugged, weighed down by the responsibility over children being threatened by a violent white supremacist etc etc that's not even getting into the MONSTER stuff but people are still making up triggers for him so he can be soothed by (insert man of choice here)

you don't need to do that! you don't need to color Nancy in a light that even Steve "go with Jonathan" Harrington would absolutely not just to see him hurting, I PROMISE. I do it ALL THE TIME. Steve can even be actively heartbroken without him seeing Nancy as some unfeeling bitch of a villain like that is. literally canonically true PLEASE.

I might be wrong but the very first thing I remember Nancy calling bullshit was the fact that no one was hearing her when she said something happened to Barb. THAT'S the canonical origin of her using that word, THAT is Nancy's first moment of looking at the world around her and saying "this isn't right, I can't stand for it, and I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to tear down the facade distracting everyone from what actually matters- that my friend is missing."

Nancy calls bullshit when she and Jonathan are trying to infiltrate the Lab; the evidence that Barb isn't just a runaway is deemed bullshit; the relationship between her parents which makes her feel forced into a box is bullshit; these things that hurt Nancy are bullshit.

Let's look at it from that perspective, huh? Because you know what Nancy was feeling the night she called her relationship with Steve bullshit?

She was feeling hurt. She was lashing out at the thing that was hurting her in that moment and that was the fact that Steve was asking her to try and be normal for a night when she didn't know how.

Only yesterday she was visiting her dead best friend's parents and watching them still trying to find her and she just didn't know how.

Bullshit really isn't a lasting trauma in Steve's story, but have we ever thought that maybe it's a tell in Nancy's? A sign of crumbling walls in the girl who keeps trying to stack them all high enough to read as unaffected when all she's ever doing is trying to survive her own grief and responsibility and fear?

Nancy calls bullshit and her vulnerability slips, her search for justice heightens, her reasonable levels of paranoia intensify.

Nancy calls bullshit because at the end of the day she's still just a teenage girl who will never fit into the boxes anyone wants to put her in whether they be small and delicate or tough and badass.

Nancy calls bullshit because they didn't listen to her about Barb, but one of these days she'll make them.

so yeah, anon, we should definitely let her reclaim it. that's her fucking word, babey 💜

#ask #dot post #nancy wheeler #'god forbid women do anything' except it's just about nancy having An Emotion and expressing it #also me whenever someone says I understand nancy: 🥹 #sorry for the ramble anon but she :(((( <3

[proship-angelbunny]

im gonna say this bluntly so im sorry if it comes across as mean or presumptuous but: being profic doesnt give u a pass to post creepy and unhealthily obsessive shit about a real person (fictive or otherwise) let alone an anon that u met like two weeks ago and exchanged a couple of flirty asks with. obviously i cant speak on their behalf but tbh i wouldnt be surprised if u scared them off with things like "if u ask me to bleed ill bleed, if u ask me to kill ill kill" "youre eating me alive, is this what u wanted" and posts about wanting them to lock u in the basement, all while referring to them as microphone emoji bc u dont even know their account name. i am begging u to take a break from the internet and probably go to therapy if u can afford it because an internet stranger should not be impacting u this much im sorry

Hello anon, politely fuck off. I’m allowed to do whatever I please ON MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT, especially given I have the consent of 🎙️ to be obsessed, for all you know I might know him in real life but chose to not post that part. We’ve agreed that my behavior is completely ok for him and he’s encouraged it yes I may get more attached then the average person, but if I’m not hurting a non consenting party then I see nothing wrong with this. If 🎙️ comes back and tells me to stop then I would. But you’d still see obsessive posts because I’m just like this, no matter if there’s a “target” for them. Hell my “default” obsession is a fictional character, so no real person is hurt. Just because I weird you out doesn’t mean I’ll stop. And I know for certain if I told my therapist about this he’d be okay with it, because guess what? I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not breaking anyone’s consent.

#I went off a little bit there #but I’m NOT letting a random person tell me I’m wrong about this #I already deal with internal shame about how clingy I get #especially after my ex (who encouraged my obsessive tendencies during most of our relationship) told me I was too clingy #keep in mind this is the same ex who would sleep on discord calls because he didn’t want to leave me #💌 #🎀 #hate asks

[utilitycaster]

1/4 I want to preface this by saying that I'm not looking to convince you, nor do I expect you to agree. In fact, I'd like to hear a counterargument from somebody who is happy with how TLoVM adapted Vex and why the changes related to her character were good/necessary for the adaptation, bc as far as I see it right now, it easily could've been more faithful without additional screen time or significant changes made to TLoVM's story structure. So, what do you think of the criticism that her

2/4 backstory with Trinket is diluted by making her needing to be saved by Vax, him being the one to kill Trinket's mother and Vex reduced to just being helpless and then motherly afterwards. It takes what was originally a story about survival of a woman in terrible conditions and doing something kind along the way for someone else and turns it into motherly damsel in distress. The important character choice that she never even tells Vax (or anyone) how she got Trinket is also lost this way.

3/4 "Unproven ally, selfish and cruel" being cut from Saundor's speech when it affected her just as much, if not more so than "unwanted daughter". His words haunt her for over a dozen episodes later and she's worried she made the wrong choice during the fight by refusing his offer. It troubles her thinking that he was right and that she's endangering those she loves most, the family that she's chosen, and it's simply cut and reduced to her daddy issues. Her self-worth only revolves around the

4/4 men in her life. Her death isn't about her, only about how it affects Percy and Vax. Percy never apologizes to her for getting her killed, but he apologizes to Vax twice. She's never her own person with agency outside the men in her life, just a sister, just a love interest, just a daughter.

-----

I am going to answer this below. Against my better judgement I have included your four part ask in its entirety but for future reference, I would advise that if you wish to hear someone’s opinion, that’s fine, but it is better to ask it concisely rather than doing the equivalent of nailing a somewhat less antisemitic* 95 Theses to someone’s metaphorical door. Had you asked your original anon question as “I am not enjoying Vex’s plot in TLOVM- it feels very centered on the men in her life in a way I don’t recall it being in Campaign 1. You seem to be enjoying it, so could you tell me what you liked” this would be a much different and far more pleasant conversation.

Also I should note that you called me dumb and gullible in your ask this morning. And that’s fine, because I don’t know who you are or value any of your opinions, but it does make me disinclined to treat you with anything but bemused contempt, and indeed, I will do that.

Finally: gender and pronouns are not strictly connected and if you are a he/him lesbian or similar I redact this statement (though none of the others). But, if you are a indeed a man, as a woman being asked to give my opinion after you tell me yours, at length, which I did not ask for and indeed indicated that I hated it yet you reproduced it in full for a second time in my inbox, the irony of you handwringing that Vex (fictional woman)’s plot isn’t very Spice Girls Girl Power of them while insulting and making demands of me (actual human woman who exists and who’s already hinted extensively to the point of outright saying that I’m getting pissed off) is not lost.

*this post is not antisemitic other than the fact that I’m Jewish and I find it annoying. Do not cancel OP for antisemitism; I am making a joke.

Anyway. If you were looking for a good counterargument, and had the research skills my high school librarian taught, you might have come across this article which is a very good discussion of Vex’s arc, and I recommend you read it.

For my take, please see below the cut.

Here’s the thing about Vex. Her main relationships are with men. She is frequently bitchy, at times bordering on bullying, towards Keyleth - and it’s at its peak during the early Conclave Arc. She gets along well with Pike, but Pike is frequently absent during the campaign, and more importantly, friends are not going to reach the level of “twin brother who has literally been the only person by her side for much of her life and her sole confidant early in the campaign” and “man she’s deeply in love with and will one day marry." Her issues, meanwhile, are because her father treated her as less-than, and so she tried to become cold and perfect and powerful to ensure that never happened. Her story is extremely about how her personality is shaped by her relationships with men. It is dismissive of that story to claim otherwise. (And, for what it's worth, this is a very real story that many women can relate to and which frequently gets criticized in fantasy by people with a poor understanding of both women and genre, my two true passions, but that's a separate post.)

As for the Trinket story specifically, the fact that Vax helps rescue her is not the central part of the story; the central part of that story is her rescuing Trinket, and perhaps seeing herself in that motherless bear, which is maintained in the adaptation. We see Vex’s self-sufficiency elsewhere, in the “do not go far from me” sequence; but more importantly it’s not a “dilution” to have her need help to be rescued from a camp and then immediately rescue someone else. It’s in fact a fairly smart echo of the lesson Vex ultimately strives to learn, that it’s not weak to need or indeed ask for help. The fact that you see this as “motherly damsel in distress” says far more about how you see even the slightest hint of a teenage girl needing help as automatic damsel territory than it says about Vex’s depiction.

“Unproven ally, selfish and cruel” is something I’ve always considered to be specific to the broom incident. How is she an unproven ally in the series? This would require a setup that simply does not exist. Saundor’s words instead focus on what is ultimately the crux of their conversation; Vex’s possessiveness and her need for approval. He is intended as a dark mirror, of someone who never got the love they craved and so became a source of poison for everything around them. Saundor says quite a lot of words in their talk in Campaign 1, and as far as I can recall there’s no indication that those five you quoted are the specific ones that upset her rather than his whole “we’re not so different, you and I” (and the “unwanted daughter”, which, you know, he leads with) deal. He still hits those main points, and, in a hilariously unintentional pun, it seems that you cannot see the forest for the tree.

And as for her death: her death was always primarily about how it affected Vax and Percy, at least in the immediate aftermath. We see some of her recklessness, and some of the positives as well - how she responds to Keyleth and Vax’s relationship - in the show, but perhaps the single most defining moment of the entire Vox Machina campaign is in fact Vax making his offer to the Raven Queen, which he does because Vex dies. It is, in fact, relatively rare under any circumstances that someone’s death isn’t about their nearest and dearest’s responses. The Percy and Vax conversation is not only quite similar to the one they had in the campaign; we actually left off the part where Vex’s immediate response after her own death was to make Keyleth cry in order to understand why Vax was being weird, and then comfort Vax and give him the armor. With all due respect, how the fuck did you miss that Vex’s death in the Sunken Tomb was always almost entirely about Vax. I mean, I can't stand when people make Vex's life post-campaign about Vax's death, but Vax's life was in fact shaped almost entirely by Vex's death.

I don’t see any lack of agency, either. Vex is still making her own choices in the Feywild - in fact, rather than backed up by Vox Machina, she is alone for the Saundor fight while the others fight off his lesser tree goons, and she makes the kill despite her bow being broken, using nothing but her determination and wit. I am truly sorry for you that you apparently see this as nothing but love interest material, and that in general you seem to see a story that is about someone learning how to let herself rely on others and say “damn, that bitch seems to be relying too much on others.”

Anyway, in conclusion, what I think of the criticism presented in the posing of this question is that it relies on an analysis that one could perhaps magnanimously call “flat and superficial, but also demonstrating little to no understanding of the character’s arc in either the source nor adaptation.”

#answered #megalvrubikon #tlovm spoilers #cr tag #long post

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey I don’t know if tumblr ate my ask or if you just haven’t answered it yet so I’m resending it. If you just haven’t gotten around to it, ignore this one. I’m in my 20s, and I just started exploring masturbation. Either I am giving myself a lot of orgasms very quickly, or it’s another kind of sexual arousal. How do I tell the difference?

1.) please don't resend asks like this; that goes for anyone reading this, not just this particular anon. if I haven't answered your question it's because I don't want to or I haven't had the time, and sending the question again isn't going to change either of those things.

2.) based on both this version of your question and the first (copied below for clarity), I'll admit that I'm a little unclear on exactly what you're asking.

Hi sex witch! I’m in my early 20s and just started exploring masturbation. The only toy I have right now is a vibrator for the clit, and either this toy is giving me multiple orgasms very quickly, or it’s another form of sexual arousal. Any advice on how to tell the difference? It also might be important to note that I’m autistic and have poor interoception unless I’m actively thinking about it. Thanks!

I don't quite understand what you're referring to when you talking about "another kind of sexual arousal," unless you're asking about the difference between being aroused and having an orgasm?

in that case, sexual arousal refers to a variety of physiological and psychological responses to stimuli. the most notable physical signs of arousal tend to be blood engorging the penis or vulva and clitoris, and the creation of lubricant for folks with vaginas, but can also include hardening nipples and an increase in the speed of your breath and heartbeat.

repeated sexual stimulation can lead to an orgasm, which is nothing but a nervous response (that's your nervous system, not the feeling of being nervous!) that largely boils down to muscle spasms and hormones being released in the brain. don't get me wrong, an orgasm be very nice, but it's only one possible outcome of sexual arousal and the two frequently exist separately of each other - it's possible to orgasm without arousal, or be aroused without orgasm.

I can't tell you whether or not what you're experiencing are orgasms, since the experience is different for each person. I also consider it fairly irrelevant, and tend to recommend substituting the question "am I having an orgasm?" for more actionable questions like "does what I'm doing feel comfortable and pleasurable? do I enjoy this sensation? am I stopping when it no longer feels enjoyable?"

#sex edventures 2023

[rinbowaman]

Toy Story - Teaser JakexReader

Okay so an anon ask had me remembering of a teaser i started for Jakes story, but had never finished it...until now. Please also note, the title of this series has nothing to do with Pixar's animated series lol.

Warnings: MDNI18+ (no smut, but smut related things are implied) this story will have chapters that will contain smut...*ahem* just read the teaser and you'll see.

Not proofread, i just went ahead and finished this asap so i could get it out to yall since its long overdue. This takes place in the same AU as MGR/MRE/HHP and HeethanxReaden are referenced and will make appearances in future chapters. Readen will be referred to as h/n or Eden. enjoy!

With a tender kiss to your lips, all your hesitation and worries disintegrated.

“There. Better?” he inquires as he gently embraces your waistline.

“H-how…since when were you…like this?”

“Mm-well…since I was old enough to grasp and understand the concept of sex and relationships, I guess.”

You and Jake had been dating for about a month now. Having just moved here, transferring to your new college so you could be closer to him, you started to wonder if perhaps you had taken steps way too early. Yet…

‘Did I? Is it truly wrong? He’s so caring and loving to me…does that all change just because he told me his secret?”

“Jake…I don’t regret a thing…but I can’t lie to you. I’m not sure how I feel about your…your-“

“…Sexual deviance.” He softly finishes for you, after taking notice that you had a hard time completing your sentence. Laughing as he bit down on his lip, a habitual trait he commonly does, he leans in and rests his chin on top of your head.

“Yeah…I get it. Which is why I never really told anyone…but I love you. I won’t ever do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.”

Your curiosity peaked, considering that you were a virgin when you met him, he was your first, in regards to various acts of intimacy. But he didn’t display any sense of being a deviant, not one bit. In fact, he performed and conducted the act in a rather normal way, as normal as sex could get at least.

“What…um…what types of…sexual deviancy are you…like into?” you felt uncomfortable for asking, but you couldn’t like that him relaying his secret to you made you feel relaxed around him, enough to ask him such a personal question.

Moving his head back, he slightly tilts it as he looks at you before looking off to the side, tucking his lips and licking them in the process.

“Well…I definitely have a fetish…quite a few of them actually.” He scoffs a handsome smile towards you, tapping his fingertip on your nose. “I also like to touch…and be touched. I like to see you naked more than clothed, even if you’re wearing my favorite outfit. In my opinion…you look better naked and wrapped in straps of leather than you do with any one of your pretty dresses…” his voice trailed off, his smile gradually fades.

“Do I have to worry about….will you try to like…hurt me?”

Laughing, he shakes his head as he kisses your nose.

“No baby, I don’t have a pain kink. That seems to be Heeseung’s thing.”

You nodded and chuckled, what he said was true, his friend ‘Heeseung’ but whom you refer to as Ethan, his English name, definitely had a side to him that you caught a glimpse of. It the way his eyes changed, going from a wide eyed, almost like a cherub, yet they would morph into a harsh narrow shape, stabbing out a dark and deadly gaze.

Ethan was quiet, and very scary, yet, he always seemed to be tamed by his new girlfriend, H/N, the pretty girl that shares some of the same classes as you. Though they’ve only been dating for a few days, you could tell that there was a different side to Ethan ever since he started dating her. You wondered if you could have that same effect on Jake.

“So you’re not into pain?”

“Nope. Just intense pleasure and some other stuff.”

“Like…like bondage?”

Jake raised his brows in amusement at your audacious inquiry.

“Why do you ask? Do you really want to know?” he teases you before leaning in and whispering the remainder of his words into your ear. “Do you want…to be laced in leather straps…and watch me take my time in pleasing myself to you? Because if you do…I’ve got a collection…some that are fitted just for you, doll.” He peels his head back, cradling the back of your hair with his hand as he rubs your arm.

“You don’t need to worry or think too much about it. If you’re willing to….then just take your time in getting to know more about me. It’s not my intentions to scare you, I just wanted to be honest because…you make me feel a certain type of way that…it just makes me go crazy sometimes. I can’t hide it from you anymore, I want to share it with you…have you a part of it…appreciate me for the way I am.”

At times like this one, you’re reminded as to why you fell for him. He was gentle, caring, understanding, and not at all demanding or possessive like his friend Ethan.

‘How does h/n even deal with him? That man is so scary and even though he cares about her, his obsession just adds more to his intimidating aura…at least with Jake, I don’t have to worry about that. He just has…some deep sexual preferences. I suppose I can deal with that better than the traits Ethan has, though it seems like it fits H/n, being that she is happy and loves him. If she can love Ethan for who he is…then I can still love Jake for who he is.’

‘The anti-hero, eh?’

You had to hand it to h/n, for someone of her age and level of experience with life, or lack thereof for a better term, she really spoke in great wisdom. She claimed it was all through her father, since he was older and always enhanced their bond by molding her to be an open-minded person. She was so lucky to have such a figure in her life, whereas with you, you weren’t so fortunate.

Your mother was the only parental figure you’ve known, your father being absent since your birth, yet you never really cared enough to put any thought to it, until you met h/n and saw the result of what a father could do for his little girl. At least you have her to consult with…because at the end of the day, she was right, Ethan was the anti-hero, but that didn’t change Jake from remaining as the hero of your life.

Thanking h/n for her input, you remained at the library for just a bit longer before texting Jake, asking him to pick you up.

“I’m ready babe.”

“Okay doll, will be right over.”

After you got back to his frat room, he carried on with his routine habit of asking where you wanted to eat for dinner while he settles his paperwork on the desk.

“Jake?...”

“What’s up doll?”

“Could you…show me…?”

“Show you what?”

“…I took some time to think about what you said…about sharing your secret…having me become a part of it…and loving you for who you are.” You paused as you found it much harder to speak than you originally had thought.

“I am willing…I really am. It’s all new to me…but I don’t want you to hold back…love me like how you truly want to love. I’m in this for the long run…and I don’t want to lose you. I’m willing…to learn and understand all aspects of your love. So please…show me…right now.”

Tilting his head in surprise, he raises his brows and was left speechless with his mouth gawking.

“……you sure?” he asked, his words heavy with his accent as he takes a knee and submits himself before you, holding your hands.

“ you sure, doll? I don’t mind if you need more time to-“

“no…I want to. Please…show me.” You gently cut him off, eager to embrace this man fully for who he was.

Kissing you atop the tip of your nose, he looks you in the eyes before standing up.

Walking over to his closet, he pulls the door open and reaches up to grab onto something, you weren’t sure what it was since it had been wrapped in a large cloth. Setting it down for a moment, he walks over and lights the series of scented candles he had decorating his room. Reaching over by the entrance, he shuts the lights off, leaving the room illuminated by the candles alone.

‘Huh...so that’s why he has them in his room…no wonder.’

After flicking the lights off, he walks over to each window, and shuts the black satin curtains. His choice of tapestry was another indicator you didn’t give much thought about, at least not until now. The smooth shine of the fabric reeked of sexual passion, not to mention that, when paired with the dimmed candlelit room, it enumerated a sense of desire and lust in full imagery.

After shutting each curtain, he walks back over and removes the item from the cloth wrap. Turning slowly to you, he walks over, and asks you to stick out your hand, keeping the item hidden behind his back.

“We can take turns using them on each other.” He states calmly, his voice was soothing.

Reaching up, he drags the flogger against your hand, along your forearm, and up to your shoulders as he drapes it around the side of your neck.

With a soothing yet peaked tone to his voice, he answers back with a soft smile as he shifts his gaze from your eyes, to your breasts, and to your hips. Staring at his lips, you noticed the sudden appearance of a vintage piece that adorned his bottom lip.

'When did he....put that on?'

“Using 'them'?” you inquired of what he was referring to in his statement a moment ago.

Taking a pause, he leans in and kneels back down in front of you. The sensation of the protruding bone of his elbow was all you felt as he rests it on your own lap, propping his hand up and resting his chin against his palm, his nose and lips just an inch away from your face.

…….........

“My toys.”

#enha x reader #jake imagines #jake enhypen #kpop smut #jake hard hours #jake sim smut #jake x reader #jake hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #jake smut #jake scenarios #jake sim #enha #enha drabbles #jake fic

[with-love-from-hell]

Hi um sorry if this is something you won’t write for please ignore it and I’m not trying to be inconsiderate. Recently I accepted that I was very likely groomed online in my preteen years. I’m a young adult now so it’s been years since it happened but it haunts me almost every day. I completely thought it wouldn’t be taken seriously or I’d be blamed if I told anyone (still do) and was wondering if you could write something for it? A headcanon list with Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos (and any others) or just a drabble with Barbatos if you are willing? Some sort of comfort or assurance that it’s not MC’s fault…? I hope this makes sense…

OH yes! I can write for this! I am so sorry you had that experience. I hope you know that it’s not your fault and that person who groomed you deserves a fate worse than death. Take care, anon <3

How they react to Mc being groomed as a child

Genre: hurt/comfort, Headcanons

Characters featured: Lucifer, Simeon, Barbatos

Written for a GN!MC (they/you pronouns)

TRIGGER WARNING: grooming, vague illusion to abuse, things associated with online pests who groom children. 

Scenario: Mc has had a tough week filled with triggers to past experiences with past grooming, and decides to confide in him about it. Their speech is tearful and they are visibly distraught throughout their telling of the experience. This is how they will comfort them. 

Note: Though I do have a masters degree in Psychology and clinical training in treating survivors of abuse, I am not your therapist, nor is this fic intended to take the place of professional help. If you are experiencing any type of abuse, please seek support from a professional. Utilize the Victim Connect Resource Center to get connected to the appropriate helpline.

Lucifer

You find him in his office, of course. It’s late at night and you’re alone with your thoughts, so who better to seek out who would be awake at this hour. 

He knows something is wrong the minute you ask if you can come into his office. Right away, he hears the timidness in your voice and sees your dour stance. 

He will sit down on his soft leather couch next to you and pour you some demonus, telling you to take your time in saying what you need to say, because he can already tell it will be hard for you.

The minute you start telling him about your experience, his usual firm and cold demeanor drops and he intently focuses on your every word. 

He will patiently wait until you’re done expelling your story before offering any thoughts, knowing its best for you to vent at your own pace, but he will provide indicators that he is listening (lots of eye contact, and expressions of grief for your experience)

He honestly can kind of relate, given his experience in the celestial realm will probably resemble some of the things you say. It may trigger something within himself that may make him particularly empathetic to your experience. 

When you’re done talking, he will ask if you would like any physical comfort.  If you say no, he will keep his distance. If you say yes though, he will pull you onto his lap and hold you gently, brushing your tears away and hushing you softly. 

He will be adamant in convincing you it wasn’t your fault, and that you were not stupid for falling for any abuse tactics. 

He may also ask for the individuals name...just for reference- I mean, a name can tell you a lot about a person, right? He definitely isn’t going to take a detour on his next trip to the human world to teach the person a lesson. 

He will offer to stay with you through the night, either sleeping next to you or providing a distraction (like playing chess or a board game of your choice, or listening to music).

He will be much more protective over you after this, as he knows some demons have a tendency to manipulate humans into doing what they want, and he doesn’t want you to relive that experience. 

Simeon

A slumber party at Purgatory hall sounded fun, so you couldn’t back out now- not when Luke was so excited to have you over

But as night falls, the small angel goes to sleep, Solomon returns to his potion brewing, and you are left wide awake with only your thoughts, and Simeon’s bright smile.

He had noticed something was wrong when he had seen you earlier in the day, but he was waiting for you to come to him (or anyone really, he just hoped it’d be him) at your own pace.

So when you decide to open up to him, he turns his full attention toward you. He can tell your serious, and clearly it’s something that has created a wound, so he preemptively takes your hand gently in his and strokes your knuckles with thumb while you speak. 

He will interrupt every so often to tell you how sorry he is about your experience, and remind you that you don’t have to give more detail than you are comfortable with. 

He will also give consistent reminders that you aren’t to blame for being trusting of others, and that the other person was to blame for taking advantage of that trust. 

After you’re done, he will pull you into a tight embrace and let you cry. If you express your displeasure in that, he will let you go and ask what you do want. If not, he will grip you firmly. 

He will also give you soft expressions of how grateful he is to have you in his life, and how much he cherishes you. 

He will also apologize for not having been there to help you during that time, but remind you that he’s here now and wont let anything like that happen to you again.

Simeon will thank you for trusting in him to talk to him about such a terrible experience, and remind you that he is always around for you to rely on.

He will also give a silent promise of watching you more closely from now on, and recognizing signs you may be experiencing a trigger. During these times, he will pull you aside and ask if he can take you somewhere as a distraction. 

Barbatos

Frankly, Barbatos is shocked at first when you decided to trek all the way to the castle to talk to him about something. 

He immediately assumes the worse, thinking that you’re struggling with the brothers or are going to try to convince him to send you home. 

He is relieved when you say you just had something held inside you needed to talk to someone about, and will take you out into the garden (with home made refreshments, of course).

He will listen intently while you speak, not saying much of anything but nodding along and making facial expressions that indicate his sympathy for what you have gone through. 

When you’re done talking, he will simply ask if he can give you his thoughts on what you said. 

(at first this sounds scary but trust me, you’re gonna want to say yes)

He will then proceed to tell you how abhorrent the person who did this to you was, and how sorry he is that it was you who had to suffer such a fate. 

He will be firm, but gentle in his assertion that it wasn’t your fault and that you harbor no responsibility in being a child who was manipulated by an adult.

He will remind you that abuse techniques work for a reason, and that the goal of abusers is to convince their victims that they are the one at fault. 

He will reach out and offer you his hand to hold and take you on a walk through the garden to clear your head, giving gentle squeezes along the way to reassure you that he’s here. 

Barbatos will offer to lend an ear to whenever you feel like you’re needing to vent, and will also ask information regarding specific triggers or things he and everyone else should be aware of. 

After, he will sift through your life memories to find out who the person was and everything about them. 

Let’s just say that the individual may end up in a cell below the castle where he answers to Barbatos for a very, very long time. 

#obey me! #obey me #shall we date: obey me #obey me swd #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obm simeon #obm barbatos #obm #obey me headcanons #headcanons #obm headcanons #obm hurt/comfort #obey me hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

[fandomsoda]

not sure if this is considered anon hate ,or not. but it needs to be said. this might not be read, but i'd just like to express that i really do hope you improve, because right now, i've been told, and seen a lot of people get hurt by you. i'm barely personally involved with you, and plan not to, but i'm hoping you learn to become a far more positive person. please do not accuse anyone or try to find the person who sent this, as it's probably not who you're expecting. i wish you well. regards, lowercase anon.

…hello, anon, i would just like to preface this with the statement that receiving this ask did not anger me or even make me overly sad, i’m just confused and vaguely upset right now, so if you expected/were fearing some sort of outburst, i’m glad to say that i feel i can address this ask calmly and as sensitively and honestly as possible.

i would like to simply start by saying that my overall reaction to these words is confusion and uncertainty. i am very aware that i have had conflict with many others before, and i know that many of these situations have probably gone unresolved, but they have only gone unresolved because i am unaware of them or do not remember them and was never made aware of any lasting negative feelings or grudges anyone had.

Basically, what I’m trying to say here is: i’m sorry, but i don’t know who specifically i’ve hurt that i’ve not resolved the situation with/talked to about it already. i want to fix whatever’s wrong, so i really would have appreciated if you had given more information/context to tell me what i’m actually doing wrong. what specifically about my behavior has been upsetting, what specifically have i done? i ask because if i know what’s wrong i can work to improve and fix it.

i don’t know what you mean by “[learning] to become a […] more positive person” because i already do my best every day to spread as much love as i can and make sure people in my space feel safe, happy, and healthy. this ask ultimately leaves me tilting my head like a confused puppy, because i have no reference for what is wrong or what is expected of me going forward.

it’s really confusing and disheartening to get this because as of late I feel things have been fine. i’ve not had direct conflict with someone in a long time that hasn’t been resolved or addressed. i thought i was doing way better than before, i thought i was making progress, so getting this honestly makes my blood run cold.

i do not doubt that you mean what you say, i do not doubt and am in fact certain that there are people out there right now who are upset with me that i have yet to address the issue with. but i can’t fix or work on things if i don’t know what i’m supposed to be fixing. i’m not trying to push this criticism away at all, i’m saying it’s not detailed enough.

Please, tell me what I can do to do better, tell me what I’m doing wrong, I want to fix it.

#lowercase anon

[vampsquerade]

Hostage roleplay anon back at it again! (that fic was friggin amazing btw)

May I get a fluffy fic of blitz finally winning over a very shy and reserved reader?

glad you enjoyed it, hostage anon! i hope you don’t mind but that’s what i’m going to refer to you now 😭 welcome back with another request for our flashy boi blitz, i hope you like it! i kinda went off script a little bit bc ngl yes i am in love with the “shy flower shop worker meets a loud and funny man” trope 😭

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blitz x GN!Reader: Breaking The Shell

Trigger Warnings: timidity, fluff, slight angst (kinda sorta barely), love confessions

Having a job at a nice little floral shop was fun. You were a florist in training, as you hoped you would one day get to be in charge of your own shop one day. It was peaceful, and you met tons of people of all ages. The only downside you had was that you were pretty timid, especially around people you found were a bit too boisterous. Especially this one man that had come into the shop for the past month. He was German, guessing from his accent, and he really only came in because he seemed genuinely interested in learning more about flower language. He was nice, sure, but it was so hard for you to talk to him. Why?

Because he was honestly your type.

Not too tall, but also not too short. His hair fit his face perfectly, and he was always so nice to talk to. Sure, he was loud and that sometimes made you uncomfortable, but you found it to be pretty cute of him. As you were tending to the flowers, you heard the little chime of the bell that was attached to the top of the door. You dust your hands off on your gardener’s apron and hastily make your way up front, only to see the mysterious German there waiting for you. Your heart thumps loudly in your ears and you swiftly look away to compose yourself, only to realize that he was approaching you. “What a lovely day it is today, ja? How are you doing today?” the German asked.

You swiftly turn to him, eyes slightly wide as his abrupt entrance startled you. “U-Um, I’m doing just fine, thank you…are you here to learn some more about flower language..?” you ask sheepishly. “Nein, I'm here to ask about you for once. You know, for someone so mysterious and timid, it garners quite the amount of attention.” he said. “Well maybe I just think life is more simple that way…” you say. “Really? It doesn’t get boring to you, living a simple little life?” the German asked. You slightly narrowed your eyes at him, and the man put his hands up out of surrender, as if to reassure you. “That came out wrong, I’m so sorry! I-I mostly just meant if you find harmony in the simplicity of life, living it mysteriously and shyly away from everyone else!” he exclaimed.

Your eyes remain narrowed, and you huffed slightly, walking back towards the flowers you were previously tending to. The man followed after you, and he gently grabbed your arm, turning you around to look at him. “Please, I genuinely didn’t mean any offense with that question. I just…don’t really know what it’s like to live as a civilian anymore, let alone one as intriguing as you. It was a genuine question, and I’m sorry.” he said. His tone was much more gentle this time, something you had never heard from the man before, and it made you soften your expression up. “What do you mean by ‘what it’s like to live as a civilian anymore?’ What do you do for a living..?” you ask.

The man sighed, looking down before looking you back in the eyes, “My name is Elias. I work for the GSG 9 in a CTU called Rainbow. I’m not really supposed to tell that to anyone but…I feel like I can trust you.” the man, whom you could now identify as Elias, said. “Elias…so now we’re on a first name basis…” you say softly. “Well, we would be if you told me your name as well.” Elias said. You take a moment before deciding whether or not you could trust this man as well. He was really persistent in seeing you and the flowers, but now that you’ve heard of his profession, you felt you could trust him a bit more. “My name’s Y/N…” you mumble. “I’ve been waiting to know your name for weeks. Now then,” he said, letting go of you, “I’m not going to stay for much longer. I’m leaving for a mission soon” he said.

You give him a sad look now, “Are you going to miss me?” you asked. “Of course. I feel we’ve kind of grown close this past month. Granted I just learned your name, but it’s been nice spending this time with you. I’ve never had some kind of domestic friendship like the one we have.” Elias said. Flustering a bit, you look away from him and carefully pluck a flower; a pink tulip, and hand it to him. “We got the seeds from one of our Dutch customers…take this with you for today.” you say. Elias’ cheeks then turn pink, and he looks at you with wide eyes. You stare at him for a moment before turning away, “I won’t keep you any longer, I’ll see you next time…” you say. Elias gives you a nod and a smile, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek before walking out of the shop.

Once he’s gone, you sigh softly and shake your head. Elias came in less and less as the week passed by, but he spent most of his time actually picking you up from work and inviting you over, to which you nervously accepted all the time. You had met his colleagues, and thought they were nice people to be around. He was winning you over, as one of the instances in which he was breaking you out of your shell was by taking you out on a date. It was a pleasant date, and you wished you could have seen him come into work, but he was nowhere to be found. It pained you, having built up such a close relationship despite your timid nature only for him to leave again.

Suddenly, someone runs up to you and from the silhouette of his extremely wet hair, it was Elias. “Y/N! Look, I don’t have much time but I wanted to come see you. But I-” you cut him off. “Can I speak first..?” you ask. “Yes, just please make it quick.” Elias said. “I wanted to let you know that all the time we spent has made me come to realize that I have feelings for you…” you say softly. “Then my efforts have worked. I wanted to tell you that I had feelings for you, and have had them since I first came into the flower shop. I was really hopeful that this past month would bring us closer and it has…” he mumbled. Elias then pulled you into a kiss, one that you happily accepted. He was able to quell your prior timid nature, and you were happy that he did. “I’ll be back, I promise.”

You smile, moving his wet hair out of his face, “You had better be back…I’ll make a cute little bouquet for you.” you say. “That would be lovely.” Elias said. The honk of a car startled you both, making you pull away, “You done kissing your little partner now?! We have to go, Elias!” you heard one of his colleagues yell. It was Dominic’s voice, and he sounded irritated. “Okay, I should be back in two months. I have your number so I’ll text you the day before I come back.” Elias said, pulling away from you now. “Okay, I’ll see you then…now go, I don’t want Dominic to yell at us some more…” you say.

He gives you a nod before running towards the car they were in, “Oh, and one more thing!” Elias yelled as he stepped into the car. “What is it?!” you yell back. “Ich liebe dich!” he yelled and closed the door. You fluster slightly, and wave the car goodbye. Who would have thought that you being a timid little flower shop worker would have got you a boyfriend?

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s x reader #rainbow six siege x reader #r6s blitz #elias kötz #blitz x reader #fluff #fluff fic #eventual fluff #slight angst #fluff and angst #x reader #x reader fluff #x reader angst #r6s x reader fluff #r6s x reader angst #r6s GSG 9

[asachuu]

Paul "I'm not going outside for 6 years bc my partner is the only one i want to see" Verlaine doesn't actually grieve his partner trust me guys asachuu said so

Paul "I'm so sorry rimbaud now that you're gone I'm so terribly sad" Verlaine

my brother in christ asachuu can you actually read!!!!

-rimbaudthursday (sadly still blocked :( )

Um…anon…? I’ll scratch this up to an honest mistake, but…

You are aware that in the very same sentence I do acknowledge his grief post-epilogue, plus that is something I’ve never denied once, I’ve spoken about it multiple times as well, right?

Also, you are aware that I’m talking about every single thing happening pre-epilogue, in which— I’m not sure if we’ve read the same novel, but I’d like to sincerely believe you’ve accidentally skipped over what I quite obviously meant and downright said— Paul explicitly states himself that he hated Arthur, which is then further told to us on multiple occasions, and thanked Chuuya for bringing upon Arthur’s death, all which happened following his betrayal and Arthur’s “first” death…right?

To put it very simply:

Yes, Paul does indeed grieve his partner very deeply, regretting his actions more than anything, AFTER THE EPILOGUE OF STORMBRINGER.

BEFORE THE EPILOGUE OF STORMBRINGER, he does not— in fact, he does the exact opposite, expresses his disdain for Arthur in both words and actions many times, and this is what I’m referring to back in that post— I have absolutely no reason to be talking about Paul’s feelings at the very end when it’s absolutely irrelevant to covering his entire past with Arthur, in which it could not be made more clear those are not his feelings yet.

Additionally, on the chance you’re trying to make an argument of Paul carrying the grief with him up until the epilogue in which it’s made clear even to the audience— I don’t know if this is your opinion, of course, but I’ll say it regardless, just in case that’s what you were aiming at— you wouldn’t believe me saying this, but there is, canonically, at least some hesitation and grief in Paul’s mind shown to us right before he pulls the trigger on Arthur, but that’s where it ends for the time being, until the epilogue. Whether or not Paul somehow “secretly carried it around”, which…I can’t say I haven’t seen people claim already, would not only be downright impossible to tell with his constant reminders that yes, he did, in fact, hate Arthur, but also, it would change absolutely nothing about his behavior if it clearly had no influence on it— before the epilogue, I’ll remind you— when he still betrayed his partner, still expressed his joy over Arthur’s death, still spoke harshly of him on multiple occasions throughout the entirety of Stormbringer and still was the reason his late partner died sincerely believing he was never doing enough for Paul and he was the one in the wrong the whole time, among other ways he behaved extremely coldly towards Arthur that render any potential hidden guilt in his heart completely irrelevant, because none of it softened, let alone prevented a single thing he’d ever done.

Now, anon, I very much don’t find any use in being rude to anyone, but I do have to say, since you’ve been so kind and sweet to me first— and please take this in the most neutral, non-personal way you can— before you question whether I can read or not, in the case this wasn’t a simple, innocent mistake of yours at all, could you please find out the answer to this question about yourself first? While I will gladly explain what I’m talking about to you if you need more clarification on it, albeit I would be much happier to do so for a polite request rather than anything you’ve sent me so far, if you’ll deliberately ignore half of my words in the exact same sentence you must have read to even come up with this, I won’t be able to try to correct or explain it to you even if I do so fifty times, because you could easily just cherry-pick whatever you want to read yourself out of my words while discarding the whole rest again.

Nevertheless, with all that being said…to answer your question properly, yes, I believe I am able to read, thank you very much for asking. 💕

#I really don’t know what else to tell you #admittedly I just woke up so I hope I was able to clarify this properly #in case it somehow wasn’t clear before #ask #anon #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd storm bringer #bsd stormbringer #bsd arthur rimbaud #bsd paul verlaine #rimlaine #asachuu

[charliethemanticore]

please tell me about sayer and bernard roth, and do not pretend to be normal about it 🩷

okay okay okay, anon I am giving you a little kiss on the forehead. I am gonna be going back through my notes so if this takes a hot minute, that’s why.

Update: This is… getting very long so I’m going to do this in sections. Your introduction lies below the readmore. Because I’ve hit 850 words. It really needs an edit. I am not doing that. Have fun. There will be another installment later.

So. Corsets (and Why We're So Weird About Them)

So, a few things need to be established here to understand the roots of modern anti-corset rhetoric. I will be dealing with sexism, ableism, and likely touching on racism within the medical field during the 19th century. If you’re anything like me, you will be angry by the end of this, just hopefully at some guys who have been dead a really long time, and not me. I’m just some guy who is three arbitrary credits off having a degree in History (with High Distinctions, btw. I’m very proud of my disabled ass for my current 6.0 on our 7-point scale)

France, America, and the UK in the 19th century were very Christian in the 19th century. The research I’ve done mostly focused on these countries, however I did briefly dabble in German history because the medical dress reform movement more or less started there, but more on that later.

As many of you know, it is a fairly standard belief in (many denominations of) Christianity* that if you do something Wrong™ then you will be Punished™ with misfortune. During this period, if someone was ill then they had Done Something To Deserve It™. This meant that, often, your physical condition was treated as a shorthand for your moral standing.

* For the purposes of this discussion, Catholicism is included under the “Christianity” blanket, I know many Catholics disagree with that categorization, but I am not writing “Christians and Catholics” fifty times

The medical field was professionalized to a recognizable degree in the 19th century. A lot of that professionalization resulted in super fucked up ideas about gender, race, and disability. The professionalization of medicine was parallel to the rise in global eugenics movement. This will probably surprise no-one but needs to be stated, nonetheless.

Many disabilities are more frequently observed in Women* than Men*. Scoliosis, which was the focus of my research for my major work, was one of these conditions. It followed, therefore, that women were doing something Bad™ that men weren’t** and the easiest options were exercise and corsetry. Now, doctors genuinely believed that women were more delicate and susceptible to disease and injury (both to the physical and spiritual being). For the most part, many doctors did NOT want women to be doing as much exercise as they were recommending for men. So corsets were Public Enemy #1

* I’m nonbinary, I know that the binary is bullshit and biology is weird soup, but I am using the terms applicable to the medical understanding and discussion of the period, it’s just easier when referring to primary texts.

** Many men did actually wear corsets. I want one of the advertisements as a tattoo. They’re great.

Right. So now that we have the basic facts outlined, onward. I will include a reference list below. I might put some of my recommended reading in a google drive or smth if anyone wants that.

So. First of all we should probably talk about what a corset is. “Oh by Charlie I know what a corset is” shush. Maybe you do. Maybe you know what a modern corset is. This is my ted talk and I will be as obsessive about my definitions as I like.

For the purposes of SEO algorithms, a corset is a generic term that could refer to bodies, stays, corselets, true corsets, and anything you can find on google when searching for a fast fashion corset top. A generic term that can be applied wantonly for a thousand different garments from the 16th century to today is not very helpful.

When I say “Corset” I mean a garment that began to evolve from stays in the 1820s and had established itself as the popular foundational garment by the 1840s and remained so until the 1920s. For simplicities sake, a corset is a “rigid bodice” supported by vertical boning (Usually baleen/whalebone. Sometimes steel, sometimes reed, sometimes cording)(1). Its primary function was to support the bust, but they also formed the foundation of popular fashions (2).

Corsets work by distributing weight of the bust (and also clothing) across the entire torso, supported by resting on the hips (think of the difference between cradling a toddler – or a heavy box - and sitting them on your hip)(2). They also formed a smooth surface so that clothing could be tight to the body while limiting wrinkling but, more importantly, IT STOPPED WAISTBANDS NEEDING TO DIG INTO THE BODY TO STAY UP. They could be tight to the body, but the corset would not allow them to dig into the body. They were (USUALLY) custom made to the individual and (USUALLY) only worn to the tightness comfortable for the level of activity for the individual. (I will talk about exceptions later). Tight lacing wasn’t hugely common. Usually the drastic shape was achieved through optical illusion and padding (Bust improvers, bustles, bum pads) (3)(4). If you make the hips and bust appear larger, the waist will naturally appear smaller, regardless of actual measurements.

God this is going to be so long I haven’t even got to the Bernards. Okay so this might have to be in installments.

REFERENCES

1 Steele, Valerie. Encyclopedia of Clothing and Fashion. Kindle ed. Charles Schribner’s Sons, 2005, p. 290

2 Waugh, Norah, and Judith Dolan. Corsets and Crinolines. Abingdon, Oxon; New York, Ny, Routledge, 2018, p. 75.

3 Kunzle, David. Fashion and Fetishism: Corsets, Tight-Lacing and Other Forms of Body Sculpture. Sutton Publishing, 2004, p. 89.

4 Steele, Valerie. Fashion and Eroticism: Ideals of Feminine Beauty from the Victorian Era to the Jazz Age. Oxford University Press, 1985, pp. 62-63

#Corset history #Victorian history #fashion history #academia #i guess #Historyblr #I am so so excited about this #This is the first infodump i've done for fun on this because i burned out on it after my major project BUT I AM SO EXCITED #which is why this is a mess i am so sorry. I want to publish my short story and it's exegesis which is why I'm not just posting that #the Roth and Sayre sections are coming i promise. I want to talk to them both. study them like bugs. Brodhurst too. #Also I don't know if I should put pictures in. let me know if you want pictures in the next bit #Continuing education #Corsets #Vintage styles not vintage values #Part one #Corset Chronicles #Corset Chronicles part one #(thats how i'm gonna tag this infodump series i think) #anon #thank you anon this made my day #part 2 may be tonight or tomorrow depending on spoons

[genderkoolaid]

hi it's physical issues/disability question anon again

so i was wondering if u knew any sorta... pain-reducing tactics? cause some days, if i stand in place for longer than like 2 or 3 minutes my legs and back start to hurt really bad. (i was at the store today with my mom even and i wanted to cry bc my ankles, legs, and back all hurt really bad and i couldn't sit down anywhere) its not all the time but when it does happen it sucks

im not physically disabled, my mom says the pain is bc i never run around/do sports so im lazy, and im only 14 so i guess there's not really a reason for me to be feeling it other than that. but regardless of the reason it still hurts and i was kinda hoping that bc you ARE disabled you might know a thing or two about making life suck less in that department? google's not helpful it's just bringing up, like, "here's what it might mean if you feel X" articles with a bunch of long words i don't know.

thanks in advance and sorry if this is a weird question, have a nice day

Okay first of all, this ask totally triggered my "protective older sibling" response, so anon uhh consider yourself adopted now.

So, before I get to my advice for managing pain, I just want to cover what your mom said. I was actually a similar age when my chronic pain started (a bit younger, I think), and I actually was told something very similar from my then-therapist. I was told that I probably wasn’t getting enough exercise, and that was the reason my legs hurt. Which, uh. Wasn’t the reason. At all. In fact, while I’m not a doctor, I don’t even think that’s how chronic pain works. Older people can get pain from not getting enough exercise, but unless you’ve completely stopped walking altogether? You should not be dealing with chronic pain as a 14 year old. It took me a long time to learn this, but you shouldn’t be feeling any chronic pain. The reason why people complain so much about aches and pains as they age is because when you are young, you are supposed to not feel any pain! Just, like, none! I spent a long ass time thinking “maybe I’m not even disabled, I’m not in that much pain,” when the amount of pain I should have been in was 0. Again, I am not a doctor, but I sincerely doubt that “not running around enough” is the cause of your pain (especially if, like me, you are doing phys ed and/or walking to or from school, in which… that is exercise.)

Additionally, while I can’t tell you how to identify, chronic pain is one of the biggest reasons behind physical disability. You can totally refer to yourself as physically disabled, because there is something physically happening to you which is causing you to suffer and be unable to do things (stand in place, for example). Even if it doesn’t happen all the time, it’s still a disability which impacts your life. Abled children do not have chronic pain, even only on some days. I’d recommend looking into things like fibromyalgia (one of the things I have), juvenile arthritis (what my friend has), and specifically people’s experiences just to see how you relate. It doesn’t mean you for sure have any one disorder, but it could be helpful – you can try checking out tags like #cripplepunk, #spoonie, #actuallydisabled, and #chronically ill. If you can convince your mother to let you see a doctor for the pain, I would. It took me a few years to get my parents to do it and a few more to get diagnosed, and it was largely because of my insistence that something was wrong that I got diagnosed at all. Self-advocacy is a huge skill that disabled people need to develop to be heard and get the help we need, and unfortunately when you are young that can involve having to advocate for yourself to doctors and parents (which, btw, you are totally allowed to be mad about. It took me years to realize I deserved to be pissed off that nobody listened to me).

Now, onto your actual question lmao. Here are some ways I manage my own chronic pain, but if anyone else has ideas please feel free to add them!

Pain medication. Honestly, OTC (over the counter, i.e ibuprofen, tylenol/paracetamol) pain meds are kind of hit or miss for me, but it’s still worth taking them to see how you react to them. If they work, good! You have something that helps! And if they don’t, you can bring that up to your doctors to help them get a better understanding of what’s going on.

Heating pads. I practically carry a heating pad around the house with me, I find them heat to be very helpful with my pain. You can buy them most drug stores or online, but you can also make one at home (my friend taught me to make one by filling a sock with pinto beans and heating it in the microwave. Although I have 0 idea how safe that technically is, but it worked p well for me).

Stretching. I don’t mean this in a “yoga will fix all your issues” way, but doing some stretches could help with your pain. Specifically try looking up stretches for the elderly, because those are generally designed for people with chronic pain and mobility issues. Stiff joints really do not help with chronic pain, so stretching + heating pads can be really helpful for a lot of people.

Weed. Now, you are 14 so I’m not just gonna tell you to go smoke some weed, but a LOT of chronically ill people use weed to treat their pain, including myself, so I feel like it’d be kind of stupid not to mention it as a possibility. Honestly one of the only things that actually takes away my pain temporarily is this CBD cream called Relef, although I’m not sure how easily you could get that or something like it (especially if you don’t live in a place where it’s legal). But I felt I should still put it out there as something which can help with chronic pain, if for no other reason than you may still have pain when you are older and can more easily access THC/CBD products.

Sitting down. For real, just stop standing. There’s a post I’ve seen talking about how if you have issues with standing for periods of time, you can literally just… sit! You may get weird looks in public, but if you need to, sit down, even just straight up on the floor of the store. Ask for a chair if you can, or find somewhere to rest for a little, especially if you’ve been in pain for a while. Or at least lean against something to take the weight off at least one of your legs, if you can’t sit. I’ve been in situations in which I was forced to stand in one place for a while, because my abled family didn’t want to leave an event, and it was absolutely fucking hellish, so I really feel your pain with that – even resting for a little bit can be helpful to make it through until you can sit down for real.

Mobility aids. Again, I’m not sure how easy you could access or use one being a minor with a possibly unaccepting parent, but getting a cane (and later a wheelchair) has been a massive help for me. You can buy canes online and at drug/convenience stores, including ones that fold up. There are also walkers which can also serve as a portable chair. A lot of people worry that they aren’t “disabled enough” to use a mobility aid, and that’s bullshit. If you think it might help, and you have the chance to use one, use it. Plus, you can put sick designs on your mobility aids, which can be really fun to play with. If you live in a place that gets icy there are also things you can put on the bottoms of canes which prevent them from slipping on ice.

Ultimately, I just hope that you put yourself first and don’t let any adults make you feel like your issues aren’t serious or real. Being young and realizing you might have a disability can be scary enough, and when you have people older than you insisting it’s “just X,” or that you are overreacting, it can feel really embarrassing to think of yourself as disabled or keep trying to get help. But you deserve to be listened to, you deserve help, even if it was “just not getting enough exercise”. I spent far too much of my childhood feeling ashamed of being in pain, desperate for someone to listen to me, and I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that if I can help it. If you have any other questions or even just want to vent, please feel free to shoot me another ask.

#m. #ask box #long post #anon i saw ''you arent getting enough exercise'' and my vision went red lmao #your experiences mirror mine in several ways. best of luck to you <3

[prince-stardom]

So I’ve just read your post about your use of the word “cock” and honestly it doesn’t make sense. Using it when our sexuality has nothing to do with that sounds like internalised homophobia. This word just ruin it all when you want to search for lesbian nsfw content, a post could be amazing and then suddenly you’re reminded of nasty penises (no matter how much it is “neutral” to you) and it doesn’t sound like a lesbian post anymore. Back to typical het shit and of course straight men will relate and reblog such thing. Thank you for not understanding what makes lesbian posts safe for us I guess. The word “strap” is very difficult to spell and use maybe.

hi there anon. i feel like you’re directing your anger at the lesbiphobia you’ve faced towards the wrong thing. i understand your anger; finding and residing in safe spaces as a member of a highly marginalized community is beyond difficult. i understand the motivation behind your anger.

that being said, i am not a lesbian. my posts are not for lesbians. although i’m fine with lesbians/WLW reblogging and relating to my posts, my posts are not catered towards WLW. i am a mostly gay trans man whose gender is confusing and ever-changing, even for myself. my posts are not made for, by, or about lesbian relationships. and nothing about my posts is heterosexual. even if im talking about women or feminine people, nothing about my sexuality is heterosexual. all of my relationships are queer.

it’s fine if you don’t understand my post. i do, and i know other trans people (specifically transmasculine people) did understand it, and found solace and validation in it. i never said you have to use the word cock to refer to your genitals, just that you can. that language is entirely arbitrary and you can use whatever words for your body that fit your gender identity, sexual expression, or gender expression. if you personally are uncomfortable with your partners using the words “cock” and “dick” to refer to their genitals, that’s perfectly fine. you have every right to be uncomfortable with those words and dictate who you choose as sexual partners based on that. but those are personal decisions that you do not get to make for someone else, only yourself. you don’t have the right to dictate what terminology trans people (or even non trans people — e.g. cis butch lesbians who relate to the words cock, sir, etc.) use for their body.

now to address the transphobia and TERF ideology in this ask. i am a trans man. i use the word “cock” for my body because it gives me gender euphoria. my posts are made by and for MLM/NBLM, trans men, and non binary people before anyone else. this blog is my expression of my gender and sexuality. this is my space. i, frankly, do not understand how you could feel correct in calling a trans man’s expression of his gender and sexuality homophobic.

TERF ideology is so regretfully prevalent everywhere online. things like these — reiterating that penises are “nasty” or “shameful,” in turn shaming trans women/transfem and non binary people for being AMAB, or shaming trans men for being men and shaming gay men for loving men — is harmful in every way possible. like it or not, not every man has a penis and not every woman has a vagina. that’s basic science. and trans people have the right to express their gender how they feel most comfortable. statements and ideologies like these are harmful to every. single. trans person. i urge you to examine where this anger comes from, and channel it towards the source of the oppression that every queer person has faced, rather than towards the people who stand alongside you.

you have the right to dictate how you receive pleasure. you have the right to be uncomfortable with certain words, expressions, or genitals. but telling a trans man that it’s homophobic to refer to his genitalia as a cock, without knowing anything about his dysphoria, gender expression, or relationship with his gender, is appalling to me. please examine the anger you’re expressing against trans and gay men.

to keep my blog as free as possible from argumentative or potentially triggering content, i will not respond to any more asks you send me. this is not the point of my blog; i am just a silly little guy expressing his silly little gender and his silly little sexuality for the gay people in my phone. i responded to this because i, in part, wanted to help educate you to the best of my ability, even if it is arbitrary in the end, but most importantly, because i wanted to encourage and help anyone on my blog who may be dealing with feelings of internalized transphobia or shame.

to any trans men/transmascs reading this: you should not have to feel ashamed for being a man or being masculine or expressing your gender masculinely. to any MLM/NBLM: you should not have to feel ashamed of loving men. to any trans women, transfems, or AMAB non binary people: you are not lesser-than because of your body. you deserve to express your gender and sexuality safely, no matter your genitalia.

i have worked insanely hard to be comfortable expressing my sexuality, to protect my own psyche against comments like these, and to break free from the internalized shame, fear, and self-hatred that was imposed upon me. i hope none of my trans siblings have to experience the hardships i did from comments like these.

and just as a not-so gentle reminder: this blog is NOT a safe space for transphobes, TERFs, or TERF ideology in any way, shape, or form. love others and mind your own business ❤️

(ok to rb, minors dni)

#tw terfs #tw terf ideology #tw transphobia #ok to rb #this ask made me . pretty upset but i figured i could use it to educate some people ✌️ #asks #anon

[beautifulhigh]

So I have a request to make and I’m fully aware that it’s deeply personal and so I’m asking with no expectation of anything.

I find myself in a situation where I’m going to need to speak to someone at work about the importance of pronouns, and knowing that I have a number of followers who are trans or GNC or NB or GF I would greatly appreciate if you would be willing to talk to me about what use of correct pronouns means to you.

I would use any comments in a general sense and nothing you tell me would be a) linked to you in any way, b) discussed anywhere beyond this verbal conversation I’m going to have.

The situation is that I lodged a grievance at work against someone who was misgendering one of our clients behind their back (referring not only to their dead name but also using the wrong pronoun when talking about their past) and we’re heading for mediation. As a cis woman I can sit there and talk about how it’s wrong and how we should respect pronouns, but I would love to be able to add in the feelings and experiences of those who do not “conform” to the experiences and expectations of this colleague.

My ask is open and anon is on if you just want to send me a message about why using correct pronouns matters so much to you, or we can talk privately through messenger or via non-anon asks.

If any of my followers know someone who would be willing to talk to me then please point them in my direction. I am happy to provide any and all assurances you may need and thank you in advance for anyone who can and does reach out.

#pronouns #tw: misgendering #tw: transphobia

[theshelbyclan]

Castle in the Sky

Summary: You’re the daydreaming sibling of the Shelby’s, but when the adventure spills over into real life, it’s not as great as you’d imagined

(Gif by @nofckingfighting​) A/N: A sweet anon requested: can I have request please Something like this Tommy was very protective over y/n and she gets hurt by one of the bad guys and sees blood on her face now all bruised but Tommy wants revenge Omg if you do so thank you so much for my request! ❤️ Huge fan of your works!This is set around season 1, back in the good old days when the only real enemy was Billy Kimber, remember those days? So easy… anyways, hope you like it J Words: 2933 ***

You were only nine when you started as a bookie’s runner for the Peaky Blinders. Nothing about this was special, half the kids of Small Heath worked for them, but there was just one difference: the Shelby’s were your brothers. It was a good job in many ways, because it meant not only being able to help your brothers, but people were inclined to give you a bit extra, just for being a Shelby. You imagined they thought it good luck.

“Y/N, take this to the other side of town, will you?” Tommy requested as he sat hunched over a newspaper. You protested a little, “Why me? I’ve done all of mine for today…” “This one’s extra, alright?” “Who is it?” you could never hide your inquisitive nature. But you only showed it around your brothers; to the rest of the world you were just quiet and practically invisible. He smirked slightly, “Someone who’ll pay up big. That’s why I need you to do it. Can’t trust any of the other kids not to steal…” “I have some homework to do, Tommy.” At thirteen, you were still at school, which was a minor miracle in Birmingham. “Tell you what: if you just do this one job, I’ll get you magazine you’ve been talking about, eh?” now he looked up and met your eyes. “Book, Tommy,” you smiled, “You might have heard of the concept? It’s a little like a magazine, a little like that newspaper, but with more pages? Some find it challenging, but once you get used to it…” “Alright, little miss know-it-all,” he grumbled without malice, “Go on, take the slip, make sure he bets all. Off with you. Stop outsmarting your old brother, eh?” He winked to make sure you were comfortable and you returned it with a big grin. “Where?” “Digbeth,” Tommy’s nose was back in the newspaper, “behind the Golden Dragon.” ***

As you were walking through the streets of Small Heath on your way to Digbeth, you were daydreaming. In a way it was strange just how different you were from your brothers, because the entire Shelby clan was very realistic, trying to make their way in this hard world, where you would rather pretend all day you were the main character in some story. The books you read, it was all an escape to you. So while you were walking, the people and factories disappeared. In your head, you were walking through the woods, on a secret mission that your king gave you. With the top-priority letter in your pocket, you remembered what he’d told you before you left: “If you get caught, eat the letter. If they capture you, make sure to be brave and never divulge its contents to anyone. And if all else fails, you must make the ultimate sacrifice. But remember, you have to memorize the contents of the letter first…” Wouldn’t it just be easier to memorize it now and destroy the letter immediately? You pondered on the matter… In the distance, you could see the mountains and the towers of another kingdom, and you knew your enemies were near. Without anyone noticing, you put a hand to your pocket and could feel the reassuring rustling of paper underneath your fingers: the letter was still there. If it would come to a fight, how would you go about it? If there were just one man, the small dagger in your boots would suffice. If it were two, you’d distract one, maybe by throwing the veil you were wearing, quickly turning around to kill the other and then back to the first one before he had time to recover. If there were more than three, you’d run, because you were the fastest after all. You’d get to higher ground and attack them from there, like a deadly shadow they could never see coming. As you smiled to yourself, you left the daydream for a short moment. You looked down and saw the muddy shoes you were wearing, marching through Birmingham mud. In the distance, all you saw was smoke and factory pipes. But it was honestly all you needed: your imagination did the rest. The real world barged in when you delivered the slip in Digbeth. Everything went smoothly at first. Your big brown eyes persuaded him to indeed bet big, and you were quite satisfied with yourself, knowing Tommy would be too. But you still had to walk back with a lot of money now in your pocket.

*** Almost home, there were only a few streets to go. Your head was back in the clouds and this time you were imagining you were a spy during the war. Silently, you moved through the streets, making yourself invisible and pretending every man wearing a hat was the enemy. So each time you saw one, you changed directions or hid for a second. It was a fun game, until you realised the enemy wasn’t wearing a hat. “Now, what’s a pretty girl like you doing on the streets, all by herself?” A man with a heavy Cockney accent popped up next to you and your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came out. In your dreams, you always knew what to say, but in reality it wasn’t so easy. The man approached you and you noticed he’d cut you off from your one exit out of the alley, “It’s Y/N Shelby, isn’t it,” he grinned. “No,” you managed to say, “you got the wrong girl.” He grinned again, “Nice try, sweetheart. We’ve seen you at the Garrison. They don’t allow little girls at the pub, unless they’re a Shelby.” This was all true. You felt your hands getting clammy. “Tommy sent you, didn’t he?” Again, you tried to remember what the hero in your stories would do. She’d run, climb the building and then throw a knife right between the eyes of the man. Or she’d say something clever, just to distract him, and then turn around and escape when he least expected it. He took another few steps forward and you could smell him now, a smell of strange smoke and the river, “Do you know who I am?” Nailed to the ground, you shook your head. “I work for Mr. Billy Kimber. Ever heard of him?” You turned to see if you could escape, but then realised the other side of the alley was blocked by two more men. Neither of them were wearing hats. Cold sweat of fear ran down your back. The man in front of you started laughing, “There’s no running, sweetheart. Just give it to me.” At once you realised he was referring to the money in your pocket, but for Tommy’s sake, you wanted at least to try to be brave, “I don’t have anything.” He sighed, “Don’t play with me. I’m not the kind of man to play with, and neither is Mr. Kimber,” his voice was suddenly low and menacing, “Your brother thought he could, thought he would get away with fixing a race, he did, and now he’s going to be put against the post and shot. Don’t think I won’t do the same to you.” You gulped, but still thought of Tommy’s disappointment in you when he would find out you’d been a coward. So you took a deep breath and said softly, “It’s not yours. This money is ours. You can tell Mr. Kimber to go fuck himself!” It didn’t come out as strongly as you’d hoped. Like a crack of thunder, he swiftly slapped you across the face with the back of his hand. All the air was knocked out of your lungs in a second and you stood gasping for air, as you felt some blood trickling down your chin. “Give me the money,” he demanded again. And then, like your heroes, you pretended to reach for it in your pocket. Suddenly, you turned around and started running into the other direction, hoping to slip past the two men before they could stop you. But it didn’t work. One grabbed your arm and when you tried to push him away, he punched you hard. All strength left you in an instant. The second one started fumbling in your pockets and instinctively you kicked him, which earned you another blow to the head. More punches followed and your head was spinning. As you looked up to the sky, you remembered wanting to get back home, to your castle, where all was well and safe.  In the end, they left you on the ground and the money was gone. Your last thought was: Tommy is going to be so embarrassed. 

*** “Y/N?” You opened your eyes, but couldn’t see for a moment. “Y/N,” the familiar voice repeated, “Come on, yes, let’s get you home. Polly, Polly will know what to do, yes…” Strong arms lifted you up and rocking with his familiar limp, Curly carried you back to Watery Lane. When he’d taken you into the kitchen, Aunt Polly flew to your side in seconds, asking, “What’s happened?” Uncertainly, Curly explained and as he did, he started to become upset over your state. That’s when Tommy came in and started to calm him, while keeping an eye on you all the time. “Sweetheart,” Aunt Polly had taken a cold cloth to the cut in your lip, “Wake up… Come back to us…” Again you tried opening you eyes and you finally managed this time. But all your concern was with Curly, who was still anxiously fidgeting with his cap in hand. “Don’t worry, Curly,” you croaked, “I’m alright now. You did good, carrying me here.” “Polly will know what to do…” he kept on repeating. Tommy put a hand on his shoulder and it had an immediate calming effect, “It’s alright, Curly, go back to Charlie, eh? We’ll take care of her now.” Before he left, you said to him, “Curly? I’ll stop by tomorrow, see about that beautiful horse of yours, alright?” That put an immediate smile on his face, “Yes, she’s a beauty, alright… And she needs her princess to ride her! Back to that castle in the sky…yes…” When he’d gone, you lowered your head again and sighed deeply. Carefully, you felt your face and only then realised how awful you must look. “Who did this,” Tommy demanded at once. Polly glared daggers at him, “You did, I presume?” “Me?” “I told you again and again not to use the little ones to run errands. Sending them across half of Birmingham with money in their pockets, and look what happens!” For a moment, Tommy seemed to be speechless. Then he protested, “They’re invisible, Pol. Nobody knows they’re carrying anything.” “This one did,” you interjected, “because he knew who I was.” “How?” “Said he was with Kimber,” you whispered as the memories came back to you, “said he’d put me up against a post and he’d shoot me, like he’d do with you…” In a sudden fit of rage, Tommy grabbed a chair and flung it across the room. Polly snarled at the gesture and then turned to you, “Stay here. This cloth is cold, keep it against your eye, or it’ll turn black in half an hour, and I can’t take you to church looking like that. I just need to have a word with your brother.” You took the cloth and didn’t dare to look at Tommy, who was now being taken away by his aunt like he was ten years old again and in trouble. Aunt Polly closed the door behind her, but you still tried to hear as much as you could. Most of it was lost, but when they started shouting you heard bits like “putting your little sister in danger!” and “this is Billy fucking Kimber, Thomas” and “family first”. At first Tommy protested with “I didn’t know they knew her” and “Kimber is getting weak”, but eventually he shouted out in defeat, “I fucked up, alright? I’ll fix it. I promise.” When they came back, Tommy looked like a dog that’d just been kicked. So he retreated into a corner and started smoking, still sulking a little. Aunt Polly lifted your head up by placing a finger under your chin, “You won’t look pretty for a week, but it’ll heal.” You shrugged, not caring about being pretty at all, and muttered, “I feel like an idiot…” “Why?” your aunt demanded, “because big men decided to go after a small girl?” Tears started forming in the corners of your eyes, as you admitted, “Because I wanted to be brave! In my stories I’m pretty and strong and the hero, but in reality I’m just like a mouse. No one notices me and I’m useless…” “Sweetheart,” Polly softened her voice and crouched down next to you, “Just because you can’t fight like Arthur or John can, doesn’t make you useless. We’re all stuck here, in Small Heath, and there’s nothing pretty about that. But you reading all those books? That’s what’s going to make this easier. You can pretend, and that’s worth more than you’ll ever realise.” You smiled back at your aunt, who always knew what to say to make you feel better. “I’m off to the chemist to get you some powder against the pain,” she kissed the top of your head, “I’ll be right back, love.” After she’d gone as well, you sighed again and dropped the cloth. Her words mattered, of course they did, but it didn’t change the fact that you weren’t happy with yourself at all. For starters, you still couldn’t bear looking at Tommy. “Y/N,” he grumbled, which convinced you even more he was angry and disappointed, “Tell me what they looked like.” “They didn’t wear hats…” Impatiently he waved a hand, “Apart from that. What else?” “I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it all happened fast, Tommy. They had that accent that Kimber has as well.” “Fucking Cockneys…” your brother breathed. “Tommy?” you tried carefully, “I’m so sorry, but I lost the money. I tried to keep it. When they asked I told them to fuck off and then I tried to run and even fight, but they still took it. I’m so sorry…” He held up a hand to silence you and locked eyes with you, “You told them to fuck off?” “Yes, but it didn’t help…” “You actually told them to fuck off?” he frowned, “Usually you’re too shy to even say anything to strangers…” “I was angry,” you explained, “and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Tommy walked over to you and much to your surprise, he was smirking, “So you told them to go fuck themselves, and then you fought them?” “Yes?” “Did you hit any of them?” You thought about it for a second, “I think I kicked one in the balls and hit the other in the face.” His grin grew even wider and he mumbled to himself, “Wait ‘till I tell Arthur about this…” “Why?” you protested, “So he can laugh at me as well?” “No, sweetheart, he’ll be the proudest brother ever. His little sister, who everyone thinks is a little mouse too scared to do anything? She fucking hit a grown man and told them to go fuck themselves. Now that’s a hero in my book!” His laugh was contagious and you had to join in. But soon you became uncertain again and asked, “Are you not upset I lost the money?” “The money’s not important,” his face grew serious again in an instant, “but you are.” “Really?” you whispered. “Yes,” he took your face in his hands, “Listen, Y/N, this is what’s going to happen: Billy Kimber threatened my little sister, so I’m going to put himup against the post, and shoot him.” “And then what?” “Well, what usually happens in your books? Maybe I could learn something from them, eh?” A warm feeling of being appreciated for who you were came over you, “You’d take his kingdom and his skull would be put up on the gates, as a warning for all future enemies.” “That’s fucking dark,” Tommy raised one eyebrow, “But I like it.” “Me too…” you smiled at your brother. “I mean it though, Y/N. Kimber touched you, so I’m going to shoot the bastard. I won’t let anyone fucking go near you again.” And just like that, you felt safe enough again to continue dreaming. *** A few weeks later, everything had turned to chaos, both in the Shelby household as in the whole of Birmingham. Tommy didn’t speak to anyone of what happened to you, he hadn’t even apologized, but he wasn’t like that. He told you he’d fix it, promised you revenge, and that was even better. When the men were counting minutes in front of the Garrison and Billy Kimber’s army arrived, you were sitting at home with a book. You couldn’t really concentrate, because you knew there were too many of them. You pretended some angel would appear to save them all. There’d have to be no bloodshed, because this angel would be on your brothers’ side. That angel came in the form of your older sister Ada. She’d always had flair. In the end, only two bullets were fired. You listened to them both. One killed Danny Whizz-bang. The other killed Billy Kimber. Nobody knew, but as Tommy fired, he didn’t have business on his mind.

As he aimed, he saw his little sister’s face, all bruised and battered.

He whispered, “for Y/N,” and shot.

Bang.

***

Masterlist

#peaky blinders #shelby sister #sister shelby #shelby!sister #sister!shelby #shelby sis #shelby sister imagine #sister shelby imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fluff #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #polly gray #polly gray x reader #ada shelby #cillian murphy #castle in the sky #the shelby clan

[dj-simp]

🏎Roxy’s Nightmare🏎

Requested by: Anon Reader is gender neutral and is mainly just referred to as “you.” This fic is a romantic one!! If you try hard enough though, it could be seen as platonic? But that’s not my intention with this fic. 

Words: 1018 Warnings: Slight angst!

Please let me know if there’s any spelling mistakes.

Her eyes shot open, claws digging into the fabric of the couch. Despite not needing to breathe, nor having the ability to produce tears, Roxanne realized how she was hiccupping and crying. Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around herself. She tried keeping herself still. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she continued to tremble. Her tail curled around herself, to be a source of comfort, but it provided little reassurance. She felt weak. Pathetic. She was so ashamed for getting upset over a nightmare. But it felt real. Too real. 

She remembered how everyone refused to look at her. Not even turning to glance. They all faced away from her as she was taken to Parts & Service. Roxanne heard the surrounding employees mutter about how much of a waste she was. They talked about how she was hated among guests, workers, and even her own friends. She wanted to ignore them. She wanted to yell at them and call them liars, but her voice box didn’t let her say a thing. All that came out was a crackle of static, then silence. Nothing more. 

Eventually, she realized that she was going to get dismantled. Roxanne tried to flail, but her endoskeleton was suddenly too stiff. Nothing bent or turned. She could barely open and close her jaw. Roxanne wanted to close her eyes and try to ignore it all. Unfortunately, her eyelids didn’t budge. Every second was agony as they tore apart her casing and then her endoskeleton. She felt it. She felt it all. Every wire snapping and every piece of metal bending and breaking. The static produced by her voice box only got louder, trying to create a scream. Being aware of it all was overwhelming. There was nothing she could do to stop it. Nothing.

Roxanne’s ears perked up as she heard knocking on her door. A low snarl left her. Whoever is behind that door can’t see her being weak. Quickly, she glanced over to the large window. The red curtain covered it, which she was thankful for. That meant anyone outside couldn’t have seen her sobbing like a child. She stood up and loudly said, “Go away! Whatever it is you need to do, do it later! I’m busy.”

A soft giggle was heard. “Too busy for me, Roxy?” She recognized that voice. It was you. 

“...(Y/N)?” She mumbled softly, stepping closer to the door. 

“Yep, it’s me!” You said cheerfully, before pausing for a moment. “...is everything okay?” 

In return, you heard nothing but silence. Sounds of shuffling were eventually heard and the door creaked open. Roxy was obviously upset. Her beautiful and groomed hair was messy. Roxanne usually stood tall, radiating with confidence, but she was slumped down. Your eyes widened at the sight.

“Oh, Roxy-” You murmured, silently ushering her back inside her Green Room. She sat back down and looked up at you. Her frown deepened as she thought about how pathetic she looked in front of you. Her ears drooped further as she turned away. Roxanne felt you sitting down next to her, fingers running through her hair. The wolf glanced up as you lifted up a brush. Slowly, you brushed her hair, taking the time to loosen and get rid of every tangle. 

“Thank you.. (Y/N)...” Roxy smiled. It was small, but genuine. 

“Of course,” You returned the smile, but your face became a little more serious. “Did something happen? What’s wrong? If you need me to get someone fired, you know I’d do that for you.” You whispered the last part, causing Roxanne to let out a small laugh.

“It’s.. nothing.” She answered. 

“If it’s really nothing, why are you so upset? You can tell me…” Roxy’s nonexistent heart started hurting at the sound of your worried voice. She didn’t want to concern you. “But you don’t have to. I’m not going to force it out of you.”

The Glamrock animatronic was quiet. When she spoke, her voice was soft, wavering slightly as she felt herself ready to sob once more. “It… it was a nightmare.”

You stopped brushing her hair for a moment, not realizing that these animatronics could have dreams and nightmares. To be honest, you believed it was impossible. You knew they were capable of expressing and having emotions, able to learn, and have the knowledge of what to do in certain situations. But dreams? Even nightmares? It made you wonder if the others had pleasant or terrifying dreams. That’s a question that you’ll have to ask later (hopefully it wouldn’t make you sound nosy). For now, your attention is on Roxanne. She needed you most.

“Want to talk about it? Again, you don’t have to,” You spoke up.

Another moment of no words. She was hesitant to speak. You decided to encourage her a little.

“You know I won’t judge you for anything, Roxy. I’ll never do that,” You gently petted her. Your words and actions seemed to ease her. 

“...They were going to decommission me. The employees. And everyone.. Everyone hated me. They all despised me! They all wanted someone else.. They didn’t want me,” Roxanne began to sob, lowering her head. “Nobody looked at me… they ignored me… I couldn’t even speak. I.. I wanted to shout at them! I… I wanted to do SOMETHING! But… but I couldn’t… I couldn’t do anything.” She sniffled, staying quiet before she could speak again. “When they took me apart… I felt it. I felt it all. It… it hurt so much.”

You hugged her, letting the wolf lean against your shoulder. You did your best to soothe her. With you comforting her, Roxanne already began to feel just a bit better.

“Nobody wants you gone. All your fans would miss you so much. I bet the others would riot,” You joked, grinning as you hear a little laugh. “As your number one fan, I will never let anyone try to decommission you. I’d literally take you home with me! Haha!” 

“Thank you so much, (Y/N)..” Roxy said, then shyly muttered, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Roxy.”

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