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with-love-from-hell · 16 days

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Omg Oji reading your notes on this got me thinking so hard. What you said on Barbatos is very relatable (but also??? OF COURSE YOU COULD "PULL HIM???" 😭😭 You deserve you a mans who has all of those attributes). But the idea of any of the OM! men being real at all is so funny to me, because I'm just imagining how their sins would show up and its just chaos. Beel at a family dinner? jesus christ. lol

I'm gonna do Lucifer (obvious F/O), but also the OM! men that I ship with in alternate timelines/universes lol, and obviously in this scenario I would not be married like I am IRL. lol

Lucifer

Mom (63 y/o): She would adore him, but maybe struggle a little bit with interacting with him. My mom is a lot like me, but she doesn't really have a lot of professional-lingo knowledge lol. Shes a bit on the goofier side, so I think that if Luci is able to lighten up a little bit, they'd get along great. I think she would be really happy for me to be with someone like him, and she would probably adore his politeness and eagerness to help at holidays and such. She would also likely think he's very attractive and may be a little jealous lol.

Older sister (31 y/o) (her and her husband are very yee-haw rednecks but weirdly enough I can tolerate a lot of them, so we're pretty close): They probably would not get along well at first. My sister is super hard headed and opinionated and I think she would clash with him, especially with certain opinions she has that affect me (she's super fat phobic, for instance) and because she's very insecure about her intelligence, and she often thinks people are talking down to her if they use big words, or make a face when she says something from a place of ignorance/misinformation. She's also a bit more laid back and goofy, so I think she would view him as very uptight. If they agreed not to talk political and Lucifer could chill out and dial back on the intellectual lingo, I feel like they'd be mutually fine with each other.

Brother in Law (32 y/o): same as my older sister tbh, though I think he would also be very intimidated by him.

Niece (2 y/o): she's already intimidated by my partner who is 6'2" and pretty chill, so I think Lucifer would intimidate her a lot at first, but I feel as if he could win her over if he danced to the Bluey theme song with her or gave her some stickers, and she would eventually warm up to him if he's around me enough, since she loves me a lot.

Nephew (8 mo./o): I honestly have no idea. He probably wouldn't give a shit about anything since hes fine with anyone holding him or playing with him tbh lol

Younger half-sister (22 y/o) (same mom): I think she'd be fine with him, but she'd probably see him as too stiff. She's really goofy and immature, so she only really talks to and associates with folks that are on that same level. She probably wouldn't try to talk to him or establish much of a relationship with him because of that tbh.

Dad (63 y/o): Oh my god they would HATE EACH OTHER. I mean, hes an abusive pos so Lucifer would obviously not like him, but my dad would not be able to stand how direct and no-bullshit Lucifer is, and how he wouldn't be able to get away with like. anything relating to insulting me (or my mom, or really anyone I cared about). Luci would shut anything he said down so fast, and I feel like he would laugh in my dads face if he tried to intimidate him. None of this would be good for my status in his will obviously, but I love imagining how much of a guard dog Lucifer would be against him.

Step Mom (58 y/o) (weird denoting her like this since I've called her by her first name for 17 years but w/e): She would probably be fascinated by him, but otherwise not really have an opinion? She would def think of him as a vampire lol. She's a bit weird in that way? Also she's a bit of a bimbo so I think Lucifer would get tired of her pretty fast, but he wouldn't likely be cruel to her.

Paternal Grandma (83 y/o) (only living grandparent): She would probably not really like how he talks to or acts with my dad, but she would love him individually. She would be flabbergasted by the respect and politeness and how motivated he is to help with anything tbh, as long as she could get over him constantly going toe-to-toe with her eldest son lmao.

Mammon

Mom: I think she would like him well enough, though she may be a bit weary of his attitudes toward money. I think she'd think he was charming, but the way he flaunts wealth and talks about money/gambling a lot would be a big ick for her lol. I think she would love the fact that he's fun and energetic though, and I feel like Mammon would be the best person to have at Christmas time playing Santa, and she'd adore that.

Older sister: Omg they wouldn't ever shut the fuck up lol. I feel like once they got talking, they wouldn't stop. In a good way, though. Like, they'll just keep rambling on and on about whatever topic, basically talking at a volume barely below a yell, but in a super friendly way. I feel like they would get along very well. They're both kind of airheads and I feel like they would have some similar senses of humor, plus my sister is an EXTREME couponer, and already schemes with me about ways to siphon money out of my dad lol. And I feel like they would totally feed off each other in the greed department, primarily with how to get more money out of my dad or ways to re-sell things others buy for her that she doesn't need/want.

Brother in Law: I think he would hate him. LMAO. This man is an accountant and very fickle with money, so seeing Mammon encourage my sister's greedy behavior would drive him crazy.

Niece: Oh man she would ADORE uncle Mams and he would adore her too. I feel like he'd be amazing with toddlers and young kids, and would totally let her ride him like a horsey around the yard, making whinnying noises and all. He would totally buy her really cool gifts (and annoying) gifts, and he would be the WORST in teaching her how to manipulate my sister and BIL for more stickers/snacks/toys and thats probably another reason why my BIL would hate him lol.

Nephew: I think my nephew would be indifferent, and I don't see Mammon liking the baby stage too much other thank thinking babies are cute. He'd love shopping for clothes for him tho, and would absolutely buy him trashy onesies lol

Younger half-sister: I think she'd hate him. Not because he's high energy or whatever, but because of how well he'd get on with my older sister first (they have quite the rivalry/hater relationship going on). Mammon would probably be fine with her, but find it hard to engage with her since she'd probably shut him out.

Dad: I mean, you might see this with all of these men because my dad would likely hate anyone I dated who isn't a spitting image of himself, but he would probably hate Mammon just as much as Lucifer, just for a different reason. Mammon would likely be trying to steal money from him or try to get his conspiracy-theorist ass involved in a pyramid schemes left and right, and would absolutely one-up my dad every time he tried to gloat about a gift he got for my niece or a nice trip he went on or something. Mams probably wouldn't be as vocal about my dad's treatment toward me when he's around, but he would absolutely tease him relentlessly about shit (like being short, the way he coughs, etc).

Step Mom: She would probably like Mammon lol. She'd think he's fun and would also likely fall for many tricks of his to try to get money or involve her in some pyramid scheme because, like I said, she's a bit of a bimbo, but she wouldn't see any of it as malicious.

Paternal Grandma: She would NOT like him. lol She would view him as very immature and would probably find him annoying.

Barbatos

Mom: Similar to Lucifer, I think she would adore him, and also love how skilled he is at so many things? I feel like, because Barbie is such an old soul, he'd get along well with folks who were over the age of 55. I think she'd probably struggle a lot less with feeling like she has to be super intelligent to talk with him, since Barbatos tends to carry himself a lot lighter than Lucifer does. He would probably have like, a weekly tea date scheduled with my mom without me or something just to chat with her, just because he would like her outside of her being my mom- like, they would be friends lol. But, I can imagine he would hold a fuck ton of respect and love for her because of how much she means to me too. I'd definitely catch him plotting someone's demise if he found out they were mean to her.

Older sister: Omg she would be SO jealous of my relationship with him. All she does is constantly complain about how her husband doesn't do enough and acts like a "babysitter" compared to a dad, and I think her seeing his eagerness on picking up ANY sort of slack would make her feel very envious that she doesn't have that. She definitely would try to get him and my BIL to hang out more so he can rub off on him lol. I think otherwise, she would like him well enough, though he wouldn't talk much with how much she yaps. She'd think hes a good listener tho. lol

Brother in Law: I think they would get on really good, mostly because Barbatos is more of the passive quiet type, and so is he. I think they could have a lot of really good conversations about hunting and guns, and Barbatos would probably help him in giving tips to manage his back pain, and generally do odd things for him (like miraculously getting his hands on the exact cross bow he wanted that was supposedly sold out, or getting access to a bear hunting license that are supposedly near impossible to get). I think they would definitely have a "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" type relationship, but there would be some level of mutual respect and minimal friendship that would exist between the two of them.

Niece: I don't think she would like him very much lol. I just don't see Barabtos as the type who's good with toddlers and young kids in the "fun and energetic" way. I do think he would be great at teaching her manners and correcting problematic behaviors (like hitting and saying everything is "mine"...that's the phase she's in now lol). She probably would trust him and go to him if she falls and gets hurt or something, though!

Nephew: I think my nephew would like him a lot, just for the fact that I think Barbatos would be much better with babies than kids. He's very quiet, and very statue-like when he needs to be, so I feel like he would feel safe being held by him. I also think Barbie would be excellent at getting that little shit to go to sleep, because it's damn near impossible for everyone else lol.

Younger half-sister: I think she'd be fine with him, and I think the intentional effort Barbie would make at getting to know her and having more of an indifferent relationship with my older sister would give him a leg up in a relationship with her. I think she'd probably find him attractive and she'd likely be pretty jealous lol.

Dad: I think Barbie is the only one my dad would actually somewhat get along with, though he would think hes very strange. Barbatos would def have all the knowledge at how abusive he is and he would loath him, but if there's one thing that I know about that man from Obey Me, it's that he's pretty good at holding his tongue and being more conniving in his distaste for people on his shit list. He would definitely cast curses on my dad to make him run into misfortunes- but small ones, just to relish in how worked up he gets. He's a little bit of a sicko in that way and I like that about him lol. Like with my BIL, I feel like Barbie could get on his good side when it's a tactical advantage if he would want to.

Step Mom: She would be so fascinated by him. She would def think he reminds her of horror movies or vampires, like Lucifer, and would be ALL over that (shes literally obsessed with horror movies and fr I think she wouldn't stfu about them with him just because of how he looks). I think Barbatos would be hard pressed to do anything bad to her, but he may find her mildly annoying. lol

Paternal Grandma: She like him a lot. Like I said earlier, since he's such an old soul, I think he'd get on well with older folks, and I think the older they are, the more likely it is he'd get along with them. He'd also try to have regular tea dates with my grandma, and I think he'd also do things around her house for her on a whim between serving Diavolo, without either me or her knowing. Like hmmm, suddenly all her laundry is done and neatly folded in the basket next to her on the bed? Oh, a nice breakfast is prepared in the morning along with her pills laid out so she doesnt forget to eat or take her medications? What's this, the plants in her garden seem to never wilt, and the fruit/veggies seem to never go bad...how weird...

Beelzebub

Mom: Omg my mom would love him so much lol. I feel like Beel is exactly her speed of person. Just enough of a goofball but knows when to be serious; not immature but also not too strict for manners or politeness; very kind but wont let anyone even think of hurting his family. She would love all of it. Like Oji had said, I have no idea how any of my family other than maybe my grandma could keep up with this man's appetite, but she would love his eagerness to go out and have a good time at restaurants, for sure.

Older sister: I think they would have more of a mutual respect toward each other, but I'm not sure if they would get along well. I think Beel would see her as too cold of a person, especially in regards to her very "bootstraps" mentality she can get into sometimes. I do think he'd be very courteous and offer to help her with barn chores or moving logs or any hard labor she would need help with though, and I think she'd appreciate that.

Brother in Law: Same as the relationship with my sister, I think they would operate more on mutual respect. He would def be annoyed finding venison in his freezer going missing during the holidays though lol.

Niece: Beel is another one that she would ADORE, and Beel, being a baby and kid person, would absolutely love her too. She would love playing chase or hide and seek with him, and I can imagine her loving being bounced super high on the trampoline or pushed super fast on the swing by him (though he would need firm reminders to watch his strength so he doesn't give into the "PUSH HARDER! BOUNCE ME HIGHER!" demands from her lol).

Nephew: I think my nephew absolutely love him too. Soft and squishy belly and muscles to nap on? Yes please. I feel like Beel would be worried about like. Breaking him lol but he would adore babies just as much as he does kids.

Younger half-sister: I think they'd get along super well! Since Beel likes gaming with Levi a lot, I feel like they could probably hold a decent conversation about video games, and maybe even play some together!

Dad: Beel would have such a hard time not outwardly showing that he hates his guts, but I know he'd try his best lol. Any nasty comment or threat made toward me or my niece (or well. really anyone in my or his family) would be met with a hard glare and a "I hope you're meaning that as a joke, even though its not a very good one." My dad would be very intimidated by Beel, as he probably would be with Lucifer too, and would try to overcompensate his toughness as a result, but It would take a lot to convince Beel not to turn him into a pretzel if he challenges him (though I def could see it happening).

Step Mom: She would be more indifferent toward Beel. They wouldn't really have much to talk about, likely. I also feel like she'd be afraid of him and his RBF lol.

Paternal Grandma: She is the only one who could maybe even stand a chance to keep up with his appetite. She pushes food on us all the damn time when we're visiting, even if everyone is full. She would probably be happy someone is finally taking her up on more food, or dessert right after a full ass meal lol. She's in her 80s though, so this might be too late coming since she was much more spry and cooked a lot more when she was younger.

Simeon

Mom: I think Simeon would be head-to-head with Beel on the favorites side of things. I think Simeon, like Barbatos, would love my mom beyond just the fact that I care about and love her a lot, and would definitely go out of his way to do things for her all the time- even without me present. I feel like they would absolutely be besties, and I think he would be good at bringing out her creative side that got smushed down a lot when she was married to my dad. Like, they would totally go on regular date nights like twice per month and take a lil pottery class, or do some wine painting lol.

Older sister: I think she would perceive Simeon as too effeminate and sensitive for her taste in people, but she would probably get along with him fine. He's another one that would probably have to have firm lines drawn on what they talk about or how much they talk about it, otherwise I can see them getting into an argument. Overall, I would say she would like him though.

Brother in Law: Same as my older sister, but I feel like he'd be on more friendly-terms with him than my sister would be, though again, I think he would be very unnerved by the fact that he hunts.

Niece: I think she would like Simeon a lot. Maybe not as Beel or Mammon, but I think that she would really enjoy playing house with him, or coloring with him. He's very calm and gentle, so I think that's the presence of being good with kids that would shine through in his relationship with her. I think he'd also be good at teaching her manners and working out problem behaviors too, like Barbatos.

Nephew: I think my nephew would really like Simeon too. Again, very quiet and gentle and calm, and I think his soothing voice would be much appreciated by a baby. lol

Younger half-sister: I think they'd get along really well actually, but she would get really frustrated if he tried to play video games with her LMAO. "How do I jump? Which stick moves the camera? How do you know if you have your gun out?"

Dad: I think that my dad would probably hate Simeon. Not in the same way he would hate Lucifer, but I feel like he would hate how much he is liked by everyone. I think my dad would be really jealous of the fact that he is so kind and receives so much positive attention, because my dad has a few coworkers who he complains about the exact same thing. I think that he would try to do things to tear Simeon down and make him feel like shit, but I think Simeon wouldn't take any of it to heart and just respond with a smile, which would make him more mad lol

Step Mom: She would probably love Simeon, and I think he could find a number of things to talk with her about. While he will think she's weird, I don't think he'd find her annoying like most of the rest of the guys would. I think he would also try to do things to show he listens to her interests, like getting her tickets to a new horror movie that she'd been talking about wanting to see, or finding autographed items from her favorite franchises.

Paternal Grandma: Out of all the guys listed, Simeon would probably be her favorite. The politeness, respect for elders, kindness, social skills, and attention to detail would probably win her over really fast. He would probably try to visit with her a lot and do things for her or take her to places she would like, and I can imagine that she would be resistant, but appreciative.

Hey, here’s a fun selfship game:

If some magical force made your f/o real, would your family approve of them?

#obey me #self ship game #obey me simeon #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me barbatos #headcanons #self ship #my mc

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