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azrielfiend · 7 months

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hi. reminder/psa for ADHD rivulet.

i recently had a discussion about headcanoning rivulet with ADHD. we discussed about how most portrayals of it are.... Terrible. lets talk about that.

"what do you mean?"

rivulet is often seen as the "ADHD slugcat" however. most of the portrayals that ive seen of rivulet having ADHD is because theyre an "energetic/speedy/hyper slugcat" or have "big eyes that looks neurodivergent" and thats all the ADHD trait that rivulet has. in which both of these reasons are just straight up terrible.

"why is this terrible?"

this portrayal of a speedy slugcat having ADHD just because theyre energetic/hyper is stereotypical. its harmful and doesnt actually show what ADHD is. there are more to ADHD than just being really hyper and impulsive. some of the stuff ive seen even infantilizes rivulet to an "owo cute hyperactive slugcat" which is gross!

"how can i make my ADHD rivulet better?"

first off, ADHD is actually a really overwhelming disorder. it can make you extremely sensitive to things whether it be touch, sound, texture, taste etc.

it can make you have sensory overload. you can feel overstimulated because of too many things! but you can also be understimulated when theres not much stuff happening. understimulation is NOT just boredom. it can leave you irritated for hours on end, and feeling unsatisifed with the things you do. and sometimes even feeling hopeless.

your emotions with ADHD are way worse too. theyre usually more sensitive and hard to control, rapidly changing and hard to predict. and with the already overwhelming issues from the previous point, yeah, its not great.

it can make your thoughts race or blank out, which makes it almost impossible to focus. it leaves you feeling frustrated because you are unable to finish your current task, even if it seems easy, like cleaning the dishes or making the bed. they are extremely overwhelming for a pw/ADHD. again, with all of the sensory issues mentioned.

ADHD also makes you very forgetful and prone to misremember even the most important things, such as meetings, work to do, etc etc.

and of course, hyperactivity. this also just sucks because you are unable to control yourself during bursts of hyperactivities and it makes you exhausted right after it happens. you might also potentially hurt yourself because being hyper can make you impulsive and do risky things.

plus so many more! ADHD has so many issues with it that i just urge you to research about it more before headcanoning rivulet as a slugcat with ADHD. (or any character with ADHD really.) but these are the main issues that me and the people i know w/ADHD has experienced.

im not saying that its wrong to have your rivulet as energetic/hyper/silly or with ADHD in general of course, no no no!, in fact its completely fine! but just please keep in mind when you are explictedly stating that your rivulet has adhd, dont give them only the hyperactivity trait and nothing else. dont call an energetic rivulet an "ADHD slugcat" just because its.....energetic. dont make ADHD this cutesy disorder that makes you excited and silly, because in reality, its really not.

thank you for listening to me ramble. its something thats been bothering me for a bit.

#post #psa #rain world #rain world downpour #rain world rivulet #rw rivulet #rainworld #adhd #slugcat #slugcats #tbh. i was dissociating when i wrote all of this so i hope this makes sense #also i will not get into any discourse. its just what i wanted to say. thank you

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austinsastrology8991 · 1 year

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Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.

Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.

#house placements #saturn aspects #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology houses #astrology placements #astrology blog #astro community #astrology

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hobies-gf · 10 months

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Oh god oh fuck okay no anon option so we die like warriors. You said any hobie ideas so I'm going for it fuck it Witness me. (This is nsfw so if that isn't what you wanted feel free to delete this before you read further )

Hobie who loves to make you feel like his girl, just doting and constantly trying to please you, He just loves watching you take him and listening to you beg for him, it makes him feel so needed and it just makes him fuck you harder. He loves stretching you on him, loves making you gasp about how it won't fit, then making it fit anyways.

And he's the literal god of aftercare too. I mean carrying you to the bath after he's done cuddling you type beat.

(sorry again if this isn't what you wanted to read sorry sorry sorry)

oh i love this so much <3 im a firm believer that hobie is a borderline service top. dont get me wrong, he'll always be the dominant one in any scenario, but he just loves to please you. he fucking lives for it.

he gets so pussy drunk, whether he's eating you out or fucking you on his cock, he goes wild. Your moans and whines egg him on and he's a fucking talker. "feels so fuckin' good f'me baby, ya like that? Shit I like it too baby, feels amazing, pussy made for me, she can't let me go. fuck- fuck yeah, i'll come inside don't worry."

he's borderline babbling nonsense at this point, getting off on the way you squeeze him at his lewd words. Despite feeling so good he might pass out he loves to keep his eyes on you. he honestly looks crazy the way his eyes run over every single part of you when he pushes his cock in for the first time that day. but he can't help it the way his dick just hardens even more when you cry about his size. "I'll make it fit sweet thing, no worries about that." and when his hips are finally flush with you, he'll let out a long, guttural groan. "see? Told ya it'll fit, y'can even see me poking out."

he'll fuck you for as long as you want him to, doesn't matter if his dick is hurting or if he's so sensitive that hes shaking so hard on top of you, he'll make his girl the happiest she could ever want. and when its all over, hobie will kiss you in the sweetest way. brushing your hair out of your face before he gives you a quick peck on the forehead. he'll go off and get you some water and a towel, or if you really want he'll even help you take shower. <3

#hobie x reader #hobie smut #hobie brown smut

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savannahsdeath · 8 months

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hiii I love your work! could you pretty please do some toxic ellie? :)

TOXIC!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: a miserable attempt to leave your toxic girlfriend

warnings: preferably 18+, just lots of toxic shit, manipulating, reader is crying

writers note: probably the only toxic post you'll see on my profile. honestly, i dont even know why i wrote this and im posting it just for the anon. i dont support any toxic behavior, cuz even a simple fanfic can bring some harm. dont read it if youre sensitive to such topics and if you decide to read it, dont romanticize it and dont blame me for any bad feelings you felt while reading - youre responsible for your own media consumption, im not forcing anyone to read. as i said, i just post it for the anon and also because i dont want it to just sit in my drafts (i dont have the guts to delete it). ugh its kinda long but i just want to make sure everyones safe, please take care🩷

you were sitting in your bed with your head buried between your knees for half an hour now, ignoring the buzzing of your phone. you caught her with another girl. you should cry and feel miserable, and all you could think of was; 'finally! finally a reason to leave her!!'. all you could feel was happiness.

but leaving her wasn't easy. you tried a few times before.

'maybe it'll be different this time', you hoped. but the way you kept receiving notifications from her said otherwise. 'maybe if i ignore her for a few more minutes, she'll let me go.'

you tried to put your phone down, but your hands won't let you. your thumbs kept reaching for the screen in a desperate, involuntary action. you were powerless to stop it. you knew you shouldn't respond. you know you should walk away, but you couldn't. every time she messaged you, your heart beated faster and your breathing quickened. you knew this isn't the best thing for you, but a part of you was still clinging to hope.

'enough, stop it.' you ordered to yourself.

you picked up your phone, deciding to call your friend. she'll make you remember all the cruel things ellie did and leaving her will be easier.

your hands were shaking and you were truly scared of what's going to happen. you hestitated for too long before clicking on your friend's profile and.. lost your chance.

ellie was calling you. she wasn't giving up and she was probably pissed off by now.

you sighed and whispered; 'sorry' to your future self, before answering the call.

"why aren't you answering to my texts, huh?" she asked in an accusatory tone, as if you were the one who did something wrong.

your breath hitched as you heard her voice. there's no going back now. "i'm sorry, ellie, it's over." you mumbled and shook your head in disbelief. 'i'm sorry'?? for what? where was your confidence?

she took it from you, just like she's going to take anything she wants.

"i'll pick you up in a few minutes." she announced and you felt tears starting to well up in your eyes.

great. so she's on her way here.

you took a deep breath to stop your voice from quivering. "i'm not going anywhere- not with you."

ellie laughed, thinking it's all a joke. "you're funny, honey. you know you come crawling back to me everytime." she replies calmly. "so get ready. i'm coming to pick you up, and then we can talk about this. like grown-ups."

ellie was good at controlling you. she'll say she's coming to pick you up, and you'll be waiting on your porch when she arrives. she had a firm grip on you and she knew it.

not this time.

"like grown-ups?" you nervously laughed. "you cheated on me. again."

ellie didn't get angry. she wasn't even surprised.

"don't overreact, babe." she replied in an irritated tone. "it's not like it was anything serious. it's just some random girl. i'm still with you. you should know that."

you were stunned by her cavalier attitude. she really thought it's no big deal.

"leave me alone." if there was even a little bit of toughness in your voice before, it all left. now, you were just simply begging her to stop. "please."

ellie's confidence and her nonchalant attitude was getting to you. you felt angry, but at the same time, you were starting to doubt yourself.

you wanted to hang up, but you couldn't. you just waited for her reaction, praying this'll be the end. but you knew everything depended on what ellie wants, and for her, only her own good mattered.

ellie chuckled. "oh, sweetheart. you think you can just break up with me over the phone? we're not even having a fight here. come on, be reasonable. let's just talk this through. i'll be there soon."

you proudly raised your chin, even though she couldn't see that. the tears ruined your confident facade anyway. "i locked the door."

she stayed silent for a moment, not expecting that from you. but she always had a plan b, and you realised that as soon as you heard her laugh. "i'll check that myself."

you heard her car arrive outside your house, and an instant wave of regret washed over you.

she knocked on the front door. "i'm here, love. open up." her voice was gentle, with an apologetic tone.

you knew it was all a ploy to get you to open the door. you knew this was just another manipulative tactic she was using, but it was starting to work.

"come on, be a smart girl." she continued in a sweet voice. "or we'll do this the hard way."

you cursed yourself for how weak you felt, even though it wasn't your fault.

"ellie, please..." you begged, with as much authority as you could muster, but your pleads still sounded weak.

"what's that, babe? are you crying?" she responded in a mocking tone.

you felt powerless to resist her. your stomach twisted in knots, but your fingers reached for the knob. your other hand quickly wiped away your tears, though there were some visible smudges left. you stared at the doorknob in your hand, fighting every instinct in your body to open it and let her in. but you knew she'll get her way, sooner or later. you just wanted to get this over with.

with a shaking hand, you opened the door. you saw that ellie was holding a set of keys - there was definitely one to your house too. she could just unlock the door, but she wanted to check if you'll listen to her. you didn't even want to think about what would happen if you didn't give up.

she walked inside like she owned the place, and she didn't even look at you. she knew she's got you wrapped around her finger.

"good girl." she said, with the same mocking tone.

ellie's eyes darted around the room, and she walked over to take a closer look at a framed photo of the two of you on your shelf. she smirked, letting out a sarcastic 'hmph, so cute'.

you stood there, defeated, as she walked past you and paced around your home. she made herself comfortable, as if she belongs there. you tried to keep a brave face, but she could see right through it.

she sat down and turned to you. "tell me, why we ended up here?" she asked, her voice was cold and unforgiving, but it also sounded curious. "why are you trying to leave me? aren't you happy?"

you felt your lips tremble, as you parted them to speak. "you know damn well what you did."

she stood up and walked up to you, standing right in your face and leaning a little to match your eye level. "fucked another girl? huh? is that it?" she stroked your cheek with the back of her fingers, mocking your pout.

you flinched away from her touch, but she grabbed your face with both hands and pulled you towards her.

"i just had some fun." she said calmly. "besides, you can't blame me for wanting something different. just trying to make up for what you lack." she caressed your face, tracing your lips. it was almost gentle, as if she wasn't even trying to hurt you. but her words cut deep. "now, stop acting like a baby." she let go of your face. "i'm trying to have a mature conversation with you."

the obedient, scared side of you wiped your tears away and straightened up without thinking, but everytime you closed your eyes - everytime you blinked - another wave of salty liquid streamed down your cheeks.

you sniffled and tried to keep it together, but your body was shaking and feeling dizzy. still, you stood your ground.

"please, ellie... i can't do this anymore." you begged in a shaky voice.

"sh, shhh..." ellie wrapped her hands around you, rubbing your hair in a soothing motion. "don't say dumb things. i already know you can't live without me. you know that too." she grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to look at her for a second. "don't you?"

her embrace felt somehow comforting, not matching the poisoning effect of her words. you clinged onto her, hoping to get as much from this rare moment as possible.

but you knew, deep down, that this is just another manipulation tactic. you shouldn't fall for her games.

"there, there." she whispered to you. she held you even tighter, as if she was trying to absorb every ounce of energy you had left.

she pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "do you see what happens when you try to leave me, babe?"

"i am leaving you." you said with as much conviction as you could muster. "i'm serious this time."

but ellie just smiled, treating your words like a joke. "that's funny, honey. this is just another one of your little tantrums. you're just upset because you haven't gotten enough attention these days. but you don't want to lose me." she ran her hands along your cheeks and caressed your hair. "you'll come back to me. you'll come crawling back, just like always. because you can't live without me."

you instantly buried your face in her chest, as she started stroking your back.

she sighed. "are you finished?"

you felt ashamed. you failed, once again. you let her win.

you lifted your head up so you could see her expression. her smile was even more mocking and cruel now that you've given in to her.

"that's more like it, babe." she said with that same condescending tone. she pulled you in for another hug, as if nothing happened. "now, let's forget all about today, okay?" she whispered in your ear. "my pretty girl."

#reqs open #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #toxic!ellie #toxic!ellie williams x reader #toxic!ellie x reader #toxic!ellie williams #possesive!ellie

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xavviquz · 3 months

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♥︎ thirsty for you. - vamp!choso x fem!reader ♥︎ HCS

warnings // !!MDNI!! period sex, p ⇾ v, unprotected, somnophilia, blood mention, pussy eating, fingering, not proofread (though i dont think any of my fics r but that doesnt make it bad 😘)

notes // getting back into my usual with hcs! i absolutely love vampire choso btw i swear im bent over for him but anyhow, i hope you enjoy this as much as i do! this is also a few years late like heian era late wc: 825

synopsis: you havent been the same since you got with him.. and neither has the aching in your body stopped either.

☆ vamp!choso┊ who has you on your knees at the break of dawn just because he desperately wanted your warmth.

your pussy was so wet and warm, he could fall asleep and never pull out for days no matter what. its not like he hasnt done that before anyways.

you were minding your own business, falling asleep after a long day of talking to customers from the village in order to pay off the rent that was due in the next month. you were tired. exhausted to the bone if you will. as you were drifting to sleep, you felt the mattress get slightly heavy in a particular spot that your boyfriend would sleep on. thinking nothing of it, you drifted off to sleep as you felt a pair of hands feeling your body up and down, your waist all the way to your boobs, pinching at the nubs as you batted your eyes.

you rubbed your eyes before you felt something inside of you. too familiar.. damn it. why now and especially when you were sleeping??

☆ vamp!choso┊who doesnt know how to ask to have sex or put you into the mood, so he reacts on impulse.

you glanced behind you with a sleepy look to see your boyfriend with a dumb smirk, digging his face into the crook of your neck. it felt so wrong and so right.. you’ve talked about this before with him but he never seemed to get why he should ask when you’re ‘his property’ he’d say, but in a sense, you were.

his dick was slowly being pushed in and out of your sensitive walls as he nibbled on your shoulder to hide his whines. you felt so warm and so peaceful.. it was hard to resist someone like you.

☆ vamp!choso┊who has a habbit of using his abilities for his lustful desires.

choso can turn invisible, be a bat, and even have unnatural speed. it made you slightly jealous that you didnt have any but its not like you minded or anything except when he would.. tease you.

the other night when making dinner for the both of you, you felt his slender hands reach up into your shirt, cupping your boobs as he licked your neck. once you turned around though, no one was there. “cho’ stop playing around and help me out..”

“i am helping you out.” he appeared behind you once again, one hand leaving your boobs to venture down to your clit, slowly playing with it. he knew damn well what he was doing and he knew he would get his way by doing so. your moans were like music to his ears and he wouldn’t have you any other way.

☆ vamp!choso┊who loves it when you’re on your period.

your boyfriend was there inbetween your legs as your hands lazily covered your mouth to keep the moans slipping inbetween your lips hidden but.. how could you?

choso’s tongue flicked up against the clit of your pussy, going down to your hole and practically sucking you dry.

damn it. you should’ve never said anything about your period. but even then, he would’ve sniffed you out anyways and have you eaten out in the nearest bathroom he could find just for a taste of you.

☆ vamp!choso┊who always bites and nips at your neck no matter how tired you are. his stamina is endless being a vampire.

you’re nearly fucked out of your mind, everything you saw was a complete blur. your back was arched and it was so late in the night.. you had to open up shop early today so why this day specifically did he decide that he wanted to fuck you brainless?

you scratched at the sheets, his length turning your insides into complete mush. you felt choso’s fangs slightly bite into your skin, digging his teeth into your pump skin. warm red blood from your neck pooled into his mouth, licking spots that dripped.

your mind was lightheaded from all the fucking and bloodsucking. your head drooped down and swung low. you could barely even hold yourself up so how were you going to open up shop now?

choso smirked, kissing the back of your ear before whispering in a low tone. “now you dont need to go to that small stand..” he hugged your waist, pushing on your stomach while he did another deep thrust.

you were so exhausted.. too exhausted to think. your eyes kept fluttering, each blink longer than the last, slowly drifting to sleep in the middle of sex with him.

by the time you had woken up, he was asleep right next to you, sleeping while his fangs were in your neck, and his dick deep within you.

a/n: please consider liking, reblogging, or commenting recommendations!

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adaelines · 1 year

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Jealousy, A Bitter Drink.

once again its 4am and im posting smut! yay!

vash the stampede x reader

warnings for vash alien genitalia, reader being jealous, sub whiny vash my favourite! in the back alley behind a inn so Techically public but you dont get caught or anything! you shove your fingers in his mouth to keep him quiet.

You were nearly at your wits end.

Vash hadn’t done anything wrong, per say, but when the entire gang decides to go out drinking after finally arriving at an inn and he’s spending all his attention on someone else, you can’t help but feel unease. You trust him with your entire heart, with everything you are, you know he would never do anything, but you can’t help the jealousy that simmers in your chest everytime you look over and see him laughing at what the girl obviously flirting with him says.

It’s almost too much, and if the glare you’re fixing them both with doesn’t alert them, you don’t know what else will. You could always approach, kindly let her know Vash is taken, and talk with him yourself but.. You don’t want Vash to think you don’t trust him, that you think he can’t handle himself. So you sit and stew in your bitter feelings, hand around your drink tightening, and you swear on any gods out there if she gets even the tiniest bit closer, you’re gonna go over there and throw the glass at her. You’re sitting with Meryl, Wolfwood, and Milly, but you haven’t paid attention to them at all since Vash went to get you both drinks and didn’t return. Awfully rude of hi, you thought with a pout, keeping you waiting for a girl? Maybe there would be a better way to deal with this, a better way to get back his attention, one that doesn’t involve violence that he so deeply hates.

So with a smile and a quiet laugh, you tell the three people you’re sitting with you’ll go and collect your rowdy lover and your drinks, and hope that they don’t see the devious plan brewing behind your eyes. You give them a smile and a wave, and they’re quick to go back to arguing about whatever they were before you interrupted. Picking up your glass, you walk over to Vash and the girl with a smile. One you know Vash will be able to tell is fake, but not the girl you’re about to steal him from. Well, it’s not your fault, she stole his attention first and Vash needs reminding just who he belongs to.

The walk over to him was brisk, and when you gently place a hand on his arm and tell him you need to speak to him privately, outside, he immediately knew he was in trouble. Vash gave the girl a sheepish smile and then followed his lover, laughing with nerves, but directly on your heels. You led him outside, around the back of the inn where you were staying, and gave him an innocent smile. You wouldn’t be disturbed here at least, as long as Vash could be quiet, and he wasn’t known for being quiet.

‘’You took an awfully long time with our drinks, Vash, distracted?’’ The innocent smile remained on your face as you spoke to him, stepping closer and crowding him against the wall behind.

‘’A-ah,’’ Vash stuttered, his face quickly flushing. He knew you well enough to tell when an innocent smile was not so, and whilst he realised what had happened, he still flashed you a bashful smile., ‘’I’m so sorry! I know i was getting you a drink but… but someone started talking to me, i didn’t want to just ignore them!’’

You knew what he was like, knew that sometimes he was too nice for his own good, and the actual worry nipping at your brain quickly left. You’d still have your fun with him, still mess around with him, but you knew sometimes he was just too good, and you never could actually blame him for that. It was just one of the many reasons you loved him, and you could never ever be mad at him for something that was just so incredible about him. With a devious smile, you pressed your hand against his chest, gently moving it up until you took a hold of his jaw. You made sure to linger around the places you knew he was sensitive, the places you knew would cause a hitch in his breath and the flush on his cheeks to spread. Trailing kisses from his lips to his ear, you took the lobe between your teeth, before quietly whispering directly in his ear.

‘’You’ll have to be quiet, sweetheart. Don’t want to get us kicked out when we finally found a nice inn for us… you remember your safe-word, yeah?’’

At Vash’s high pitch whimper, you couldn’t help but pull away and coo at him. His cheeks were flushed a dark red, his eyes wide and mouth wobbly. You really couldn’t help but tease him, he was just too cute sometimes.

‘’Aw, baby, that’s all I need to mention to get you worked up? Aren’t you a needy thing? Let me take care of you Vash, I still have to remind you who you belong to..’’

With a wicked smile and one last kiss pressed to his lips, you trailed kisses down his neck. Listening to his whines, his quiet moans and just the simplest of kisses, you really couldn’t wait to listen to him trying to keep himself together. You continued, moving down his chest, until you had to sink onto your knees to keep going. Vash whimpered again at the sight, leaning his head back and closing his eyes tightly. Simply looking at you was enough for him to feel the slick between his legs, feel his cock twitch from where it sat between his lips inside of him, and he gently moved one shaky hand to brush the hair away from your face. You always got to him so quickly, with a few simple words and touches he would be completely under your spell, completely willing and wanting. He’d do anything for you if you simply asked, and it showed in just how he was looking at you when he opened his eyes, full of nerves, anxiety, but above that full of absolute adoration and lust.

Slowly, gently, you began at the buttons on his pants. You wanted to take your time with him, as much as you could behind a dingy old inn, with kisses pressed against the wiry blonde hair that lead from below his belly button to the top of his pants. The way you looked up at him between your eyelashes was almost too much for him, his legs already beginning to shake where he was standing. His quiet whimpers of ‘’please, please, can’t wait anymore…’’ caused you to smile against his happy trail, letting out a quiet laugh. You gently hooked your fingers into the band of his pants and underwear, tugging them down just enough to have access to his slick petal-like folds. You knew it usually took some encouragement for his cock to come out, encouragement you were more than happy to provide.

‘’Please, please, fuck, i need you so bad…’’’ Vash whined quietly, his head banging against the wall when he threw it back and bared his neck to you. You used your hands to shove his knees apart, causing him to squeak, giving you more room to move between his legs. He looked utterly debauched at the moment. Shirt riding up his stomach, the kiss and bite marks you had previously left on show, his stomach and chest littered in purple bruises and teeth indentations. His face was so flushed you would be worried he had a fever if you weren’t on your knees in front of him, and his expression was so desperate, so lewd and full of wanton need, you wanted to make him beg for hours until he lost his voice and had to explain just why even talking made his throat hurt.

‘’It’s okay, sweetheart, i’ll take care of you..’’ You leant forward slowly, teasingly, pressing a kiss against his folds. One of your hands came up to gently rub the spot where his lips met, eyes staring up at him the entire time. You wanted to see every reaction, every little whimper and shudder, anything. Using your fingers to spread his folds, you pressed licks against his hole, as deep as you could reach with your other hand gripping onto his thigh so tight you were sure he’d have bruises, sure he’d be feeling you for days. He gave you a quick warning, a rushed ‘’ohmygodimsosorryitscomingout’’, before you pulled back and gently pressed a kiss to where his hip bone jutted out. His cock, lighter than his skin and as pretty as you would expect from a Plant, appeared from between his folds, and you immediately grinned up at him. He had no reason to be embarrassed, he was truly gorgeous, and deliciously sensitive.You couldn’t wait to get your hands, your lips, your anything on him. Even the cold air against him made him shudder, a shaky hand coming from against the wall to tangle itself in your hair.

Wrapping your hand around his shaft, even that slight pressure was enough to make a very loud whine come from him, you leant forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock. You gave him a grin when he struggled to keep himself together, told him to lean forward, and when he did, you shoved your fingers in his mouth. You had to keep him quiet somehow, had to make sure he didn’t make too much of a mess and you always did love having him suck on your fingers. The grin on your face never faded, not as Vash somehow became even more flustered, or as he let out the loudest moan yet. You knew from experience that his teeth were much sharper than those of a human, sharp enough to easily cut skin, but you didn’t care if you ended up with rings of teeth shaped cuts around the bottom of your fingers. Anything was worth it to see the look on his face as he swirled his tongue around your fingers, eyes lidded and full of desperation. He always shut up quickly with your fingers in his mouth, always immediately became the obedient boy he truly was.

‘’What a good boy,’’ you hummed, ‘’My good boy, keep quiet, yeah? I’m not stopping till you’re begging me to.’’

And when he desperately nodded around your fingers, you leaned forward, taking his tip into your mouth. You had to stop a grin at the noise he let out, muffled by your fingers, and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. Vash was always so pretty like this. Always so gorgeous when he’d take anything you gave him, willing to submit to anything you wanted to do. As you slowly lowered your mouth, taking him as deep as you could, his legs almost gave out from under him. If it wasn’t for your other hand wrapped around his thigh, keeping him stable and as close as physically possible, you wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up on the floor. You grinned around his cock, best as you possibly could, and as your nose was buried in the wiry blond hair at the base, you shoved your fingers as deep as you possibly could in your position. The noise he let out was gorgeous, a loud moan broken by a choke, and when you hummed around his length the whine he let out sounded more like a sob.

‘’Mmnmclose… fuckfuckfuck…’’ Even around your fingers you could make out what he was trying to say, merely doubling your effort to make him cum. He always was so pretty when he got close, even more desperate and whiny. Even if it was hard on your throat to take him to the base, straining and almost making you choke, it was worth it for the look on his face. Was worth it for the way he whined your name around your fingers, the way he clenched his eye shut and nearly doubled over you. You let out as close to a laugh as you could with his cock down your throat, swallowing around him. Anything for the extra pressure, anything that would increase his whines and tip him just over the edge. Even as you gagged on him, eyes watering and hand around his thigh tightening, you pushed even more. His moans made it worth it, made it easy, and you only pulled away when the hand in your hair gripped tightly, his teeth bearing down on your fingers.

Even as the pain makes you wince, even as you feel your skin break and blood enter Vash’s mouth, even as he cums in yours, you don’t pull back. Not until he whines loudly around your fingers that he's cumming, he's cumming, please don’t stop! Not until you feel his cum down your throat, only ever pulling away when you feel as if you can’t breathe, you swallow as much as you can and grin up at him, making a show of it. Anything not in your mouth is on your face, and Vash slumps quickly. You pull your hand out of his mouth to support him as he slides down the wall to sit half in your lap, half on the floor, and you’re quick to wrap your arms around him. To tell him just how good he was for you, how he made you so proud. He spits the blood out of his mouth, giving you a wonky grin, and you laugh loudly at how funny he looks with the remaining blood and flush on his cheeks. You wipe the cum on your face with your shirt, deciding to worry about the stain later, and you press your lips to his.

‘’You okay?’’ Your voice is quiet, raspy from the strain on your throat, and you pull Vash as close to you as you possibly can. Maybe an alley behind the inn isn’t the best place to cuddle, but you can’t bring yourself to care when Vash is in your arms, when you're offering him comforting words and gentle kisses. In response to you, he nuzzles into your chest, a bright dopey grin on his face.

‘’As good as one can be after uh, finishing, in your mouth!’’ Even in the afterglow he never fails to make you laugh, make you so happy you don’t even focus on the pain in your throat, and you give him the deepest, most passionate kiss you can muster. He deserves it after what you put him through, and he reciprocates quick, wrapping his arms around you as tight as he can and smiling into the kiss. As you hear Meryl shouting for you both loudly, followed by a comment from Wolfwood that makes her even louder, you smile back into the kiss. You know Vash will get you back, and you can’t wait for him to even try.

#trigun stampede smut #trigun stampede #trigun stampede x reader #vash the stampede #vash the stampede x reader #vash x reader #trigun stampede imagines #spicy #trigun

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anonstormx · 2 years

Text

Nursing aid

Homelander x fem!reader

Wet nurse!reader needs help

(wordcount:500+)

warning: lactation kink, breastfeeding, humiliation, workplace relationship, noncon(kind of), obsession, power imbalance, voyeurism, biting, not edited

note: finally back and im on a homelander kick. Did anyone see that homelander asmr rp on youtube? dont tell him i sent you but it inspired me

Read on AO3

Homelander overhears Ashley talking about her newly hired wet nurse and becomes obsessed with interrupting feedings. If it was anyone else, she could protect you from them.

Your job is to care for the child during work hours while his mother is busy. What separates you from the rest is your specialty, producing breast milk for the child. Something you're still learning to manage, but when it comes to wet nursing, a supply is what keeps you paid, lavishly paid.

That's why you have to sidestep any humiliation you feel when the baby makes a hunger cry. You desperately desire to take the baby off to another room, but unluckily for you, Homelander decided that Ashley's office is the perfect spot to have lunch. Knowing you would have no choice, you show him exactly what he came here to see.

Forced to sit and let Homelander watch as the infant fed on both sides. When they are satisfied, you cover up your revealed chest, trying to ignore the wild gaze coming from across the room. You turn away and massage your aching breasts, still full of milk.

"My sweet angel, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" He wanted you to say it. Ask for him. Let him be a hero and take care of you. Of your body.

You knew this would come one day. He was always too eager, too interested in what you for it not to come. Watching from a distance only kept him happy long enough to ask some questions and learn your schedule. The important questions like are you single? Living alone? Have family? Intrusive questions.

"A bit uncomfortable, that's all" He laughs at your noticeable distress and starts walking in your direction. The last step is purposely on your backpack, shattering the breast pump you'd usually use in moments like this. "Oops, my bad. Did you need that?"

Homelander has been meaning to do that for a long time. Dumb machine. He stomped on it one last time, smiling when you recoil and shut your eyes. "Look at me. Open your eyes angel. Watch me" His hands caress your aching chest.

You let him pull your nursing bra down, pinching and pulling at your sensitive nipples. Whimpers and tears, spurring him on, making him more aggressive.

"Sit. Don't move" Homelander kneels between your knees, pushing your skirt up and panties to the side. The chair you were once feeding in felt smaller, arms encircling you, pulling you close. Uncovered cunt rubbing on the coarse material of his suit as you try to squirm away. He ignores your fight and sucks your tit in his mouth.

You could cry when he moans at the taste of your milk hitting his tongue. Attempts to push at his shoulders are guided to his head by a gloved hand. You give in, bringiing him closer and directing him to the other side. Homelander bites your nipple, laughing when he can feel your pussy throb against his erection.

"ow ow gentle please" You need to find a new job. Immediately. (maybe)

#homelander #the boys #reader insert #self indulgent #homelander x reader #smut #tw: noncon #lactating kink #filth #fanfic #x reader

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drdemonprince · 24 days

Note

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

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atticustimestwo · 1 month

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do you mind sharing a bit more about your analysis of heart,,,

i'd love to!! (i assume this is about the heart critique piece i did a few months ago, but please correct me if im wrong!)

in terms of the "a critique on the treatment of hearts characterization" piece, i wanted to visually explore some frustrations i have had with how the fanbase seems to fall into some unfortunate patterns when it comes to hearts character.

frequently, i see heart infantilized - this either comes across as him being a kicked dog unable to help himself because he is too weak, a baby angel who did nothing wrong, or a feral gremlin child. i think flattening his character down to any/all of these is, for lack of a better word, a bit problematic?

; one reason being it just defeats the idea of emotions being a visceral, intense thing. heart is meant to represent emotion in its purest form; i feel woobifying him takes away from that concept because it shows having emotions as being inherently weaker or less mature. i think a lot of people kinda forget HMS aren't just tv show characters. they represent greater concepts that near everyone feels and feels uniquely - theyre more sensitive than your typical character. thats not saying treating them as characters is bad! everyone relates to them differently because they are so personal, they make them their own and i think thats really awesome!! ; but boiling them down to these really generic tropes and making heart a baby kinda defeats the idea that emotions are a real, visceral, multifaceted concept. ; another reason i think it can be problematic is that it sometimes unintentionally comes across really ableist? a lot of these 'fandom-y' tropes are already rooted in ableism in some way, which is bad on its own, but theres also the important addition that heart is frequently portrayed as blind.

ive seen people time and time again fall into stereotypes with heart that his blindness makes him weak/helpless/childish. truthfully I dont think people do this intentionally, but its still internalized ableism showing up. i recognize that a lot of the people who woobify heart tend to be on the younger side, so they dont really recognize that theyre flattening him down like that- not out of malicious ignorance, but because theyre kids who havent really had the life experience yet to grasp the full concepts of the album or realize they might be implying harmful stereotypes; that doesn't necessarily mean its okay, but i think its just them being uneducated cause theyre kids and they have yet to learn that stuff. ; all that being said, im not trying to police people on how they portray characters. im not any authority on this fandom/album by any means imaginable - im just a fan like everyone else here! like i said before, characterizing HMS is not inherently a bad thing at all ! its fun, and its what this fanbase is built on in the first place! its so great that everyone can interpret and relate to HMS so personally, i think chonny really hit it off with the concept for the album and the execution is stellar! seeing all the fanart and different interpretations of it and the characters is such a beautiful thing, no matter if its joking, lighthearted, or deep! ; at the end of the day, theres no wrong way to interpret this album, and theres no wrong way to characterize heart. more than anything that critique piece was built up frustration turned to a call to action for people to stop and think deeply for a moment about how they portray heart - to open eyes if someone might be unknowingly flattening or adding problematic ideas to their characterizations. and to just be mindful of that going forward! 💜

#cj heart #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cccc

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eunkitarot · 14 days

Note

Eunki can u make a post on how enhypen would react to their s/o crying because of them? Like how they would react and what they would do if they made their s/o cry?

So using tarot I would be telling yall what might happen and also fyi its not au😬 so im not gg to sugar coat it. I will read the reaction as it is.

DISCLAIMER : its tarot 💥energy shifts💥.

So with,

Heeseung

Ace Of Pentacles reversed

Right of the bat when he sees is SO crying because of him he would be worried. I can see him feeling bad but unsure how to approach his SO. He would be hesitant to make any more moves. He worries he would make it worse. He would show signs of stress or anxiety, such as a furrowed brow or tense posture. So I am seeing him standing there stuck and just thinking " What have I done? Have i gone too far? Why did I say that?" A million questions running through his mind. Because of this he may not even try to calm you down because he himself is having this inner crisis of trying to process what he just did.

Jay

Nine of Cups

Okay so with Jay, we need to see the reason you cry. Is it of happiness or sadness. Why did he make you cry? So if happiness he would give you a hug. Asking why are you crying? For eg he bought you a ring and you cry cause you are touched. He would be proud of how he makes you feel. He is happy to see you happy. Now if its sadness, Jay is someone that would instantly realise and approach you to apologise. He would calmly handle the situation with compassion trying to understand why are you crying. Overall, he would have this calm demeanor as if setting his foot down. Physically, he would put his shoulders around yours gently.

Jake

King Of Cups reversed

Ok for Jake he would panic. He would appear unsettled or inconsistent, reflecting his inner emotional turmoil. He would be restless or feel discomfort seeing you cry because of him. I can see him being shifty. Very dramatic, not calm at all. Its like the world ended when you cry. Massive amount of guilt crashing down on him. I can see him pacing back and forth. So usually i dont link to astrology but Jake is a scorpio venus and this card reversed is link to scorpio placements.

Astrologically, the King of Cups reversed as a person represents someone who is dealing with the challenging aspects of Scorpio or Pisces, like emotional hypersensitivity. These astrological influences may exacerbate their tendencies towards emotional extremes and difficulty in handling their deep emotional sensitivity.

Jake may feel its difficult to find a balance in his emotional life and developing healthier ways to express and manage his feelings. So yes, if he sees you cry he would panic to no end and he wont know how to handle how he feels , so he definitely can't handle yours.

Sunghoon

Eight of wands

Okay, for Sunghoon, he would react fast upon seeing you cry. So he would approach you and be like, " wait what happened? What did I say that made you cry?". So for eg, you're sitting and he is standing and then he sees you start crying, he would suddenly rush to your side asking " hey what's wrong? is it something that I said?" Grab a box of tissue asap and hug you. I think he is very straightforward. He would react accordingly. Quick decisions and rapid responds is what I am getting. And he would want to communicate with you right there and then to quickly clear the air. So yeah he would ask you as you cry. So that the situation wont get worst. He would want you to let it all out, even if you are angry at him.

Sunoo

Ace Of Swords

Okay so seeing you cry Sunoo would approach the situation clear-minded still. So even if youre crying, he wont be emotionally swayed by it but instead he would look at the situation as it is while comforting you. He would silently sit next to you as you cry giving you time to collect yourself. " let it all out and then tell me what happened" if he hurt you he needs to know why. So that he won't do it again. With this card , this is someone that goes straight to the heart of the matter. He wants a clear communication. Physically, he would sit beside you, and have this focused penetrating gaze on you. This whole demeanor could also reflect a bit of his guilt.

Jungwon

Four of cups reversed

Jungwon would reasses what he did. Seeing you cry he would come towards you with a gaze that become more focused and present. He would reach out for your hands looking into your eyes as if searching for answers as what did he say or do that makes you cry. A bit confused but he would be willing to figure it out. He would be open to whatever you want to say. Whether you want to scold him or reprimand him for what he did. Jungwon would be open to that because he is aware he hurt you. He would just accept it.

Ni-Ki

The magician reversed

Ok last but not least our maknae Ni-ki, alright right of the bat seeing you cry makes him feel insecure. Insecure of himself not being a great SO to you because he hurt you. He would start to doubt himself and question if he deserves you. Something about him not showing his true reaction to seeing you cry. So maybe in his head is its full blown chaos but outside he looks aloof. Like he don't care. Niki struggles to show how he really feels about the situation. So he would just stare at you and is just stuck.

💗Honest takes; take it with a grain of salt: tbh i like the way sunoo handle it. Something about being able to be present even if youre not being affectionate is so important to me. So yeah i like his approach the most.

I hope you like my read. Again its tarot, dont take it as an ultimatum. Enha boys are humans, and they constantly grow over time. Emotional maturity constantly evolve. And that people should realise your idols are not perfect and they too have red flags :)

#enhypen #enhypen tarot #heeseung tarot #enhypen heeseung #kpop tarot #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #sim jaeyun #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki #ni ki

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simping4-2manyppl · 9 months

Note

is it okay if u do a Tom x reader with an Ed (so sorry if you are uncomfy with this ❕️❕️🤍🤍🤍)

Tom Kaulitz 🎸

Ofcc i hope you enjoy 🫶🏼 i dont know much about ed’s but im going to try my best 💗 if this triggers you in any type of way please contact me! Or if i did anything wrong, I absolutely mean no harm and i will fix my mistakes.

TW! ⚠️

Contains ED! And other possible sensitive topics!! Angst! I honestly dont know if i wrote about an ED cause im not very educated on it so im sorry if its not correct!

You woke up rubbing your eyes, seeing yourself in the mirror that stood infront of you. You stood up from your bed and walked infront of the mirror frowning as you pointed out all of your insecurities and picking at them.

You bit your lip as tears formed in your eyes, “Why me?” You thought, a knock on the door interrupting your thoughts.

“Y/n! You awake?” You heard, it was tom. Your best friend, he usually checked up on you to see if you were awake, since most days youd sleep almost all day.

“Yeah!” You replied, looking away from the mirror and getting dressed. You were going to go with the band someplace, it was probably an interview or something like that.

You werent apart of the band but youd usually tag along with them since you were one of their closest friends.

You picked out some baggy clothes that hid some of your insecurities perfectly. Once you finished you walked out of your room as your eyes met with toms.

“Tryna copy my style today?” He said, in a joking way. “You stole this outfit idea from me!” You said rolling your eyes playfully.

“Sureee.” He said as you both laughed and you made your way downstairs to the kitchen.

“Good Morning!” You heard bill say, “Morning!” You said with a smile on your face, you didnt want to bring the others moods down just because you werent feeling the best, so you tried to put on a big smile and pretended to look as happy as possible.

“You coming with us again today?” Bill said, munching on something he probably found in the pantry.

“You know it, gotta support my favorite boys!” You said giving him a small wink. He laughed and nodded.

You made your way to the living room as you saw gustav and georg searching for something, “Morningg, you guys need help with anything?” You said raising your eyebrow.

They looked at you and smiled, “no thanks, we got it!” you nodded and walked over to the couch, sitting down.

If you were being honest, you were so tired, and hungry. But no matter how hard you tried you just couldnt eat food without throwing it right back up.

This habit of not eating started a while ago but you were too afraid to open up to anyone and talk about it, assuming your friends would judge you because the real reason of why was because you had a crush on tom, but you knew he only saw you in a friendly way. And his type was beautiful gorgeous girls with the perfect bodys. Something you couldnt relate to. So you kept it a secret, but it would hurt you every time you saw tom with one of his girlfriends or heard them at night.

It took a big toll on your mental health and sleep, most days you felt like a zombie, not being able to sleep and just wanting to be away from everyone, but you tried to be positive in front of your friends so you wouldn’t worry them.

___

Time Skip

___

You waited for the band in the back as they were doing a small interview, once it was over with you could hear the screams of the fans and them yelling all sorts of things.

Of course some were about tom, you then saw as they stood up to greet some of the fans and saw him talking to some girl, you knew you shouldnt have gotten jealous but you could help it.

She was perfect, and tom had looked like he just fell inlove, of course you knew he just wanted her for one night but it still hurt to see him being all flirty with her. You didnt know why but seeing him with her bothered you so much and you just couldnt figure out why, she sure was beautiful but hes been with alot of girls and none of them bothered you as much.

You sighed and looked at yourself, comparing yourself to her and immediately feeling sick. Oh how you wished you looked like her.

You waited for a bit until everyone got back, so you just decided to stay quiet and keep on going with your day.

Once you got home you locked yourself in your room, immediately plopping yourself into your bed, sighing and closing your eyes.

You eventually fell asleep but would wake up throughout the night hearing the one thing you didnt want to hear, a girl in your best friends room. Basically screaming her lungs out.

You decided to sleep in, not wanting to do anything as your energy just kept getting lower and lower by the days.

Ag some point throughout the day you heard knocks on the door asking if you were alright or going with them some place and you just tried to ignore them but gave them short replies not really wanting to talk.

A few days of you being like this everyone decided to talk to you, it wasnt normal for you to be acting like this. Tom was the first one that knocked ti check in with you as always but you just groaned and complained that you were just tired.

He decided to leave you alone amd when you heard another knock it was gustav this time.

“Hey ___, you okay?” he said in a soft voice, “yes gus, im okay! Just tired.” You said yelling and laying your head down on your pillow.

“You havent came out at all, can i come in? Please?” He said, his voice sounding sad.

You sighed and bit your lip, “going..” you said and walked up to your door, unlocking it and letting him in.

You closed it quickly as you didnt want anyone else to come in.

You turned around and faced him, “What gus?” you said, “I jus- Oh my god, are you okay?!” He said as he fully saw your face, the dark circles under you eyes fully taking over your face and you skin looker paler than ever.

He had a worried look on his face as he looked at you, analyzing your whole face. “Im fine! Im just extremely tired gus.” You said sighing.

“No! You’re not okay, you look skinnier and more tired, like a literal zombie ___! Whats going on?” He said, as he got even more worried.

Your eyes started tearing up and before you knew it you started bawling your eyes out like a baby.

“I just cant do it anymore gus, im in love with tom! you know how much it hurts to hear him flirt and see all those girls with him? It hurts so fucking much gustav.” You said, as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Oh god, im sorry ___, But maybe he loves you too! I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?” he said trying to calm you down a bit.

“No gus, he likes those other gorgeous skinny perfect girls, i cant compare to that. He only sees me as a friend.” You said, sobbing.

“Thats not true ___! Youre so Beautiful and perfect to all of us! Please dont be starving youself and making changes to yourself just cause you think you arent pretty cause you are ___!! Probably one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen in my entire life!” He said hugging you even tighter as you just cried onto his shoulder.

You lift you head off his shoulder, looking into his eyes as you sniffled, “ you really mean that?” You said biting your lip so the tears would stop flowing out.

“Yes! Ask anyone! And its not just because we are your friends! Its true ___, i dont know how you dont see it.” He said with a frown on his face.

“Then why not me?” You said, your lip quivering. “Im sorry ___, hes just not looking in the right places, cause he has an amazing girl right infront of him.” He said pulling you into a deeper hug.

After that day youd only really talk to gustav, letting him in your room and talking with him, but one day he left and you heard a knock which you assumed was just him coming back fr something he mustve forgotten, but you were wrong.

“oh my god.. ___..” Tom said staring at you in disbelief as you had the door wide open. “Tom?..” you said quietly, “are you okay? Ive been so worried, oh gosh, you look so..” he said as he stood closer placing his hands on your cheeks, analyzing your face even more.

You know you looked more tired than usual but you were just drained from all the nights of you crying, and well you havent ate something in quite a while either.

As much as gustav would try to get you to eat you refused, but would lie to him saying you ate so he wouldnt worry too much.

“Whats going on ___?” He said biting his lip, “nothing tom. Now i want to be alone can you please go?” You said looking away from him as the eye contact was starting to get unbearable.

“Not until you tell me whats going on.” He said firmly, you started getting angry and pushed him out. “ i dont want to talk right now!” You said slamming the door shut and locking it.

You felt bad but why couldnt he just leave you alone, you wanted to get rid of your crush on him so things could go back to normal but it was so hard.

You sighed and opened the door seeing him looking down, “im sorry..” you said your head hanging low as you started to feel guilty for the way you were acting towards him.

“___ you’re my best friend, im worried about you.. can we please just hang out together or something? I miss you.” He said staring at you.

You could feel the way his eyes looked at you causing you ti loft your head up and you nodded as you met his eyes.

“Yeah, i guess..” you said putting your hand on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.

“Lets get snacks and watch our favorite movie no? Maybe that can help you feel a bit better..” he said, giving you a small smile.

“I- i guess..” you said, and walked over with him. Once you retrieved the snacks you went over to the living room and sat down as he put on your guys favorite movie.

“Alright, lets eat!” He said, “im actually not hungry right now, maybe a little later.” You said, pushing the snacks away from you.

“… if you say so.” He said slightly frowning and playing the movie.

You eventually drifted off to sleep in his shoulder and once you woke up you saw him already staring at you.

“Rise and shine princess.” He said, chuckling. God, why did he have to make this worse for you..

“Sorry, i didnt mean to fall asleep, i guess i was just tired.” You said, yawning.

“Its alright, im just glad you’re here with me.” He said smiling at you.

You bit your lip, “i should go to bed now.. Ill see you tomorrow yeah?” You said getting up from the couch.

“Oh.. yeah okay, ill see you tomorrow then?” He said looking at you with pleading eyes, hoping youd say yes.

“Yeah.. maybe, goodnight tom.” You said, “goodnight ___, love you.” He said and you just gave him a small smile and walked back upstairs to your room. You laid down in bed and sighed, shutting your eyes to drift off to sleep.

After a couple of weeks youd start hanging out more with the band again and mostly tom but as you sat down in the kitchen stool you felt someone come behind you.

“I brought you something to eat.” He said, placing a takeout box in front of you.

“Im not hungry right now, but thanks tom.” You said pushing it away, and giving him a small smile.

He sat next to you and sighed, “___, you’re never hungry.” He said, “im just not tom, i already ate.” You said wanting to stop talking.

“You dont have to lie to me! Im your best friend, plus youve been in your room like alllllll day. I havent seen you come down or anything to eat ___. So please eat.” He said pushing the food closer to you.

“Tom i said im not hungry!” You said, frustrated.

“___, whats going on. I know you havent been eating, i can tell! and when you do you take the smallest bites ever! and never finish it and say youre full. Why are you doing this to yourself ___?!” He said standing up now.

Your eyes got teary, “because im not skinny or pretty or … anything tom!” You said starting to break down into tears.

He looked at you shocked, “___… why do you say that? You are pretty! im looking at you and you are of the most perfect girls ive ever seen.” He said as his eyes started to get soft and teary.

“Then why dont you like me? If im so perfect why dont you like me tom?” You said full on bawling.

“W-What?” He said, shocked and confused.

“I love you tom. I like you.. but ive never been perfect like those other girls that you are always with, i cant compare to them. They have model bodies and beautiful faces, and i dont. I thought maybe if i stopped eating it would just fix all of my problems, but it only made them worse.” You said, in between sobs.

He immediately wrapped his arms around you, “y/n, i do love you. Ive always have. I thought you didnt like me so i distracted myself with other girls to get over my feelings for you, i didnt wanna ruin the friendship that we had. I thought you hated me.. when you started ignoring me ___..” he said, starting to cry.

You stopped crying as you were in shock, not expecting him to say those things. “Tom.. i could never hate you, i just wanted to distance myself so i could get over you, it hurt seeing you with other girls, i also didnt know you liked me..” you said staring at him, “please dont cry..” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks.

“___ please promise me you wont do this again, please try to eat, i know itll take some time but please ___.” He said, looking into your eyes.

You nodded, “ill try tom, i really will.. im sorry.” You said, “no i am, i really do love you ___.” He said as he started leaning in closer to you, “i do too tom..” you said, your faces inches apart.

He finally closed the gap between you two, softly placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He moved his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Once you departed he gave you a small kiss on your nose and smiled at you, you smiled back at him and blushed.

“Now lets get you something to eat, yeah? Then we can focus on everything else after meine liebe.” he said, placing another small kiss on your lips then grabbing the food as he helped you eat, even if they were small bites he still helped by giving you small praises.

And this was why you fell in love with him..

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