Tumgik
#idk what to do about it tho. i dont think i can just get over that at this point i mean ive waited 10 years
marblemagnolias · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
this morning i woke up and felt the urge to draw these three together for no real reason other than they mainly work as healers in their respective games and also thinking they could get along. maybe. somehow.
12 notes · View notes
waterfallofspace · 7 hours
Text
I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe
so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3
2 notes · View notes
craycraybluejay · 15 days
Text
still fuming over an argument i had months ago.. anouther chillllll its ok for other people to be incorrect, ok? its ok for them to randomly accuse you of a personality disorder and then publicly shit on you for being offended. its fine bro. old news.
2 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 9 months
Text
my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)
me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha
#sometimes i forget that 'being in total control of my emotions at all times' isn't just my cringe lore & is actually something im good at#like wdym my MUM said this. girl im experiencing horrors over here!#i got really offended by it? ilke i just smiled at her and agreed but inside i was like HELLOOOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEE#i just genuinely feel like i am so detached from myself and im entirely manipulative and i micromanage every facet of my personality#and change it day-to-day person-to-person and not in the Normal Human Way but in a crazy insane I Am Manipulating People Way#& it's a CONSCIOUS thing & like. idk who the real me is idk if there is a real me idk if id like her if i saw her idk if im a good person#but i look like im doing fine. i seem really stable and happy atm according to the person who knows me better than anyone#like that's the extent of my control on myself. even my mum cant tell. HUH#idk i feel like im being dramatic bc last week and this week ive definitely been feeling a lot better#and like maybe i was just having some sort of months-long episode but that doesnt negate the fact that while i was IN it no one could tell#not even the closest people to me that see me every day in the same house where im most vulnerable could tell#that's like. worrying surely. maybe. i think. whatever im just saying shit at this point#i always do this tho i go 'i fundamentally base my self-worth on how little i share vulnerability with people#and it's been a constant part of my personality since childhood that i dont talk about my feelings' and then i get SO pissed off#when people dont realise im going through shit. like girl what did you THINK was gonna happen. look inwards#hella goes home
19 notes · View notes
taikk0 · 1 year
Text
JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS
#IVE ALWAYS PRONOUNCED T'S WITH MY TONGUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX IT ITS BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG#BUT ONE DAY. I WILL PRONOUNCE MY T'S SO GOOD YOULL THINK IM A WHITE PERSON#WHAT SUCKS TOO IS THAT IM BILINGUAL WHILE ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK TAGALOG MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT SO I-#-HAVE NO PROPER WAY OF PRACTICING IT BC FILIPINOS PRONOUNCE T'S DIFFERENTLY BC OF THE LANGUAGE AND UNLESS IM IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING-#-SETTING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY 💔💔#even worse i slur over my words all the time. i have a stutter. i have VERY frequent voice cracks and when i try to suppress them i sound-#-ver odd. PLUS ADHD#idk if adhd might be one of the causes or of it gets added to the pile but dude i actually need help 💀💀#but another problem is i dont think anyone would see the point in it#i communicate just fine its just that i have so much trouble communicating verbally (vocally?) in a way that isnt unnatural and in a way-#-that properly articulates what i want to say and how i say it. often i have so much trouble showing varied emotion to prove a point when-#-im referring or talking about something that isnt reactionary#LIKE DUDE WHY IS TALKING SO HARD 💔ALL PEOPLE CAN TALK WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ALL PF THIS THIS SUCKS#which might be why i prefer writing what i want to say bc unlike talking the way i speak has nothing to do with it. i get given time to-#-think. and with an adhd brain writing what you want to say is so much better because typing it out involves the conscious decision to-#-type it all out and it acts as a filter#BLEFGGGH SORRY I KEEP BLABBERING ON THIS WSS SUPPPSED TO BE A SILLY LITTLE POST IDK WHY I WENT HAM IN THE TAGS#anyways umm yeah i dont like talking. i like communicating and maybe socializing tho. but not talking. does that make sense???#there r also times where i straightup cant speak at all. i want to speak and i want to say things but my brain feels too busy or ig blank-#-but not empty and i cant form words or sentences and all i have are thoughts and feelings#anyways i think asl is neat and i want to learn it not just for my benefit but also for accessibility#also filipino sign language if im up for it#man there is something wrong w my brain 💀#mikyomix rambles#yeah this one was a true ramble but only in the tags
27 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
Text
...
#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
7 notes · View notes
weaselishmcdiesel · 1 year
Note
GRIPS YOU. I would love to play test if you wanted
NOTED!
10 notes · View notes
landofgay · 2 years
Text
realizing how different I am to the average person I guess
#didnt think this was that weird tho.... but i suppose its why i havent dated in years#so my one friend dates a Lot lol shes always dating someone new (and honestly good for her idk how she found so many dates in this town)#but today we were talking about My Guy and she was like 'so do you guys have things in common?' like. genuinely asking.#babe. we went on 2 dates and have been talking for 2 weeks of course we have common interests....#are u dating people u have nothing in common with??????#then later she told me what was going on with her last guy and i just was like.#damn i dont think Anyone is at fault here but you guys clearly dont mesh so why do u keep trying this relationship 🥴#but whatever!!! i wont judge her she can do what she likes!! i just want her to be happy and not moping over Some Guy#anyways. i knew my approach to dating was different but god#like i could never just 'go on a date#i need to get to know someone first#we got to know each other for a full week before we went out and there was another full week of getting to know each other before we#went on a second date#(todays our third date 🥰🥰🥰🥰)#but its just been nice that we already kinda knew each other for almost a year thru the store#and then started to chat a bit before we matched#and then had a couple weeks and dates to get to know each other before we kissed#and like. i know i struggled a lot with understanding the difference between romantic and platonic attraction#but if its romantic it does seem to just. Work. and feel Right#my platonic/romantic mixups (ive had 3 big ones) whenever i tried making them romantic felt so forced and wrong#its like. we are getting to know each other in a non romantic specific way but we also know we will probably#end up dating since we met on tinder and not somewhere else 🥲#anywaysssss#i think im just. whatever that one sexuality is where u need to establish a STRONG connection before u csn actually have#like. romantic feelings/trust/etcetc
3 notes · View notes
goethitee · 2 years
Text
hate hate hate when people aks your advice & then ignore it
#i should say beg actually. she begs for my advice on dog stuff#& then ignores me#‘why is he doing this’ ‘how do i deal with this’ ‘ hes sick what do i do’ ‘what should i do about this’#& then when i give her the answers in the gentlest way i can so she doesnt feel bad (even tho she should) she doesnt listen to me anyways#todays wasnt that bad but i rlly didnt want to answer cuz i didnt want to feel like… too involved ig idk#she asked me what to name her new puppy. obviously im not just gonna tell her what to name her fricken dog thats over stepping#but she cant leave well enough alone. so i said wjat we do (which has also been reinforced for me because freds dog trainers say the same#figure out what kind of vibe you want for your pet. the name helps shape who theyll be so u gatta figure out what u want first#i also said how there doesnt need to be a name rn she can think on it#but does she listen to me? no. ‘hm idk what vibe i want. i want a name now so i can call him’#why ask. why.#also the fact that she got this dog also rlly ticks me off lol.#because the other one is under a year yet & if anybody reads these… then u know she still hast gotten a vet. since october#now im gonna have to fake being happy even tho this is an awful idea#itd be one thing if she didnt beg for my opinion & then completely ignore it. while pretending like she’s actually listening to what im say#maybe you should have found a fucking vet for the first one & actually work w it before getting another one#& ofc it is a puppy. which are terrible. ik her bf is gonna be so fed up with the two dogs#i dont want to hear it anymore i dont want her to ask me things ive tried & im done#i hope everything works out the way they want but i rlly rlly doubt that
4 notes · View notes
be-good-to-bugs · 13 days
Text
i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
1 note · View note
everybodysaycbx · 7 months
Text
.
#cant sleep...#feels weird that its been 10 years now. shes been gone for so long now but i remember it so well#the pains like a phantom pain tho. i can remember her without crying (tho i am now lol) and not all the memories hurt#but the pain isnt always detatched from the memories. that part of my childhood where she was always there feels......idk how to describe it#im always aware that its gone and sometimes i can live with the reality of it and appreciate my friendship with her#but sometimes the hurt comes back so forcefully and so painfully i want to scream and scream#and sometimes it feels like i am but i was just dissociated for a few hours#my family is still.....unsure of how to act when i exhibit pain about this. idk if its from guilt that they didnt help me initially or...#is it annoyance that this still affects me...maybe both. guess they cant get how my friends suicide when we were in high school would hurt#whether they feel guilty for how they didnt help it doesnt really matter ig bc i know they wont apologize no matter how much id like them to#idk what to do about it tho. i dont think i can just get over that at this point i mean ive waited 10 years#if anyone has advice dm me ig but dont tell me to let it go bc i just cant#ive made my peace with any culpability i have in her death and if her spirit harbors anger with me then thats fine#her family doesnt and has never seemed upset with me so i have no reason to be thinking it but idk. i just couldve done more#but whats done is done and dwelling on what couldve been is a bad road to go on. esp at almost 3 am#i hope and wish for her to be at peace and everyone who loved her to find it if they havent yet#if anyone else has had to go through this too know you can talk to me esp if you dont have anyone else#i had really no one i could talk to about it without feeling like i was burdening everyone else who was in the same situation at the time#and i dont want anyone else to feel like that so. i hope everyones well#otherwise if that doesnt apply to you but you want to cheer me up send me some cute videos or memes or whatever#ive been trying to keep my mind off it for the most part since ive had to work and dont want to have a breakdown there lol#and i have to work tonight so that would be helpful#but anyway i think thats enough of my rambling and depressing thoughts#tw: death#tw: suicide
1 note · View note
jadeneppy · 1 year
Text
Hmmmm
#i really miss playin sky but im so behind and beleeeeh#I MISS DAU AND LERA SMMMM#idk what the new season is and i dont wanna spend money for the cosmetics even tho i REAAAALYY want em#grinding for 20 candles took 3 hours for me last time and i just dont have that free time anymore :(#xzzt#i miss playin with all my sky friends i also dont even wanna THINK about goin through eden with the new mechanic#LIKE YOU CANT EVEN HONK TO REVIVE OTHERS???#but anyway its in vent tag so might as well vent a bit#still kinda lonely and i wanna cuddle some 1 :(((#all i can think about is cuddling and kissing and i wanna be with someone who can make me feel warm n fuzzy again#i miss being in love so much#maybe it was infatuation but i really thought i did love them for 7 years it was the happiest time for me#all i would do was gush about how much i loved em and how i wantrd to grow old and live together and how we'd decorate the house#how many pets ect#but then shit eith w*ndy happened and my world crashed for the first time and bleh ough#i dont think we ever recovered from that like i honestly wanted to end myself after that and i finally went on anti dependents#tho they burned my throat so much and made me feel numb i took em everyday and acted like they helped but they really didn't#hm hm this should really go on my vent blog if it gets any deeper so#hm ig i just wanna be loved and held and cherished like when i was over there#us crying the day before i had to leave will always be in my memories#i was so fuckin sad when i had to leave but i didnt wanna wake em up cuz i knew theyd cry again and id cry too so i just kissed their cheek#but yeah i think that was the last time i saw em irl#:neppyflop: god those were good times tho#bleh i think i should sleep before i trigger myself
0 notes
Text
It's a Match! || 141 x Reader
[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]
Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz
Tumblr media
Chapter 11: Excuse me?
A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.
It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.
But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.
you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned
Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.
Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u.  Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text.  Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ.  you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭
Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…
And then it hits him.
It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.
Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.
“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.
Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.
“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.
“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.
“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.
Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”
“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.
Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think.  Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it.  you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo  Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?  Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm  Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke.  you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄
Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur
@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket
1K notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
Text
...
#today in things that stress me out. my academic interests have diverged significant from what i do in the lab#which is nice on one hand bc i am v passionately interested in something sciency again and it feels like its been a while since that#happened. but on the other hand it means that my workaholic tendencies are no longer being applied to my actual job#like im kind of just doing normal hours for like actual job stuff. which stresses me tf out bc i never feel like im doing enough#and my overdoing it has transfered over to drawing way too much in one sitting while listening to paleo podcasts and trying#to memorize the geologic time scale#so im still overextending bc im focused all the time and i dont sleep enough but its not applied to my job#and part of my brain cant handle that so it forces me to suffer no matter what. sigh. stupid exhausting brain#and i know im being irrational about it which somehow makes it worse#but idk i guess maybe its a little more healthy bc im trying to do something i like in my free time. even if im still overdoing it#like idk if i can express how exhausting it is to like something but ur brain forces u to think abt it all the time and feel guilty abt#thst being ur focus but u cant help it. and its like grinding chalk into the sidewalk. i just burn out on the things i like so fast#bc i cant regulate. im astounded that ive been on this narut0 kick for like 7months bc so often my obsession makes me so tired#but here i am. still staying strong dattebayo hahaha. nah it has been nice not to find anything new tho lol#sigh... idk i just got way way too close to like full on mental collapse with my photosynthesis measurements so im trying to get the#warmth back into my body before i have to jump back into that frozen water#i think i have at least another month before the machines get back and then ill have at least 3 or 4 projects to run samples for#was it wise of me to agree to doing all that? no absolutely not. but the data will be interesting#and itll be helpful. and literally no one else wants to do it so here i am. damaging myself for science. ay ay ay#whatever. im going off to do field work next week with my boss so maybe thatll get me out of my head#unrelated
11 notes · View notes
siameanee · 10 months
Text
take your time 🎸 hobie brown x fem!reader
Tumblr media
DONT OPEN UR WINDOW FOR HOBIE BROWN AT 3 AM 😱😱‼️‼️💯💯 (REAL) (NOT FAKE)
i don't post. or write fanfictions. this is the first and last fanfic ill write - there just isn't enough hobie brown fics out there. hopped on and said fine ill do it myself 😞 !
also i didnt proofread this 😭
wc: idk might be long tho
tags or desc or whatevr: hobie brown x fem!reader smut, hobie smut, hobie x fem!reader, fingering (r receiving), riding, kinda slow burn (i think), friends to luvas
shmut unda the cut ‼️
-------
you sat idly in your bed, scrolling through tiktok and giggling every once in a while. you twisted and turned until your gazed lifted from the endless videos and you saw the time: 3 a.m., causing you to plug up your lit up rectangle and turn away from it, hand under the pillow and the other reaching to pull up the covers in an effort to warm your shivering body.
however, your best friend, hobie, had other plans. minutes later, your phone lit up and you flipped back over angrily, trying to get used to the flash of light in your darkened room. 
hobs 🎸
open ur window? got hurt need sum help :)
3:45 a.m.
you furrowed your brows as you leaned up to be able to type. 
hobs 🎸
open ur window in a min? got hurt need sum help
3:45 a.m.
it's 3:45 hobie ... 😭
3:46 a.m.
you waited for his response, letting out a frustrated huff when he didn't respond for a full 4 minutes. as you rested your head on the pillow once again, you heard another ping from your phone as it lit back up one more time. 
hobs 🎸
open ur window in a min? got hurt need sum help
3:45 a.m.
it's 3:45 hobie ... 😭
3:46 a.m.
*Attachment: 1 Image*
says right here 3:46 ? 
3:49 a.m.
you were about to comment on his witty remark until you heard repeated knocks on your left window. as you got up, you discovered a tall handsome male clad in a spidersuit and some plaid trousers leaning down and grinning back at you, pointing to the windowsill. opening the window, he crawls in, lifts up his mask, and lands on your desk chair, groaning.
"what ha-" you started, but you saw his face riddled with wounds and the gashes zigzagging his chest. you closed your mouth and pointed your finger to him. "stay right there, hobie. don't snoop around. i'll be right back with the first-aid kit." you ran out of the room, hearing him shout back at you.
"won't!" hobie shouts from your room, and you can hear the smile in his words.
you return with the first aid kit, and true to his word -- surprisingly, or so you think -- hobie is in the same spot. you settle in between his long, manspreaded legs, tending to his facial wounds. you try not to notice his burning gaze on you as he tilts his head up for you to tend to his wounds. you can see his adams' apple in your peripheral version and you're trying oh so hard to mind your business. to do what he asked you to. to focus. he's your best friend, and all he asked of you was to tend to his wounds.
but when your fingers start to fumble on his face and you drop a bandaid, you're forced to bend down. you're forced to bend down in between his manspreaded legs, and when your cheek accidentally grazes the tent in his trousers on the way down, you realize how difficult this is going to be and you swear you can hear something -- a sound -- emerge in his throat before he clears his throat.
you decide to ignore it however, resurfacing and continuing on his face, trying to ignore the new grin he's wearing and the telltale half-lidded eyes on display for you.
"hobie, stop." you gnaw on your lip, trying not to look at his eyes. 
"stop what?" hobie speaks, causing his grin to widen. 
"whatever the hell you're doing." your eyes flicker to his lips as his tongue darts out to lick his lips, and you pray he didn't notice.
he shrugs and lifts up his hands in faux surrender. "haven't done a thing luv." he smiles.
however, when hobie goes to put his hands back down, they don't land back on his thighs. instead, they land on your hips. your breathing quickens and hobie seems to take notice of this because you notice his grin widens. 
after getting sidetracked and going to his chest wounds so that you wouldn't have to look at that annoyingly pretty ass face of his, you finish tending to his chest wounds and return to his facial wounds to finish sewing them back up too. but when you travel up, hobie's hands do too. his index fingers -- that were hooked under your shirt-- slide up, and he reveals your pink panties, and you catch him looking down to see the gold he's dug up.
"hobie, hands to yourself." you shakily breathe out, trying to focus on his face. you said all this, but you also made no effort to remove his hands off of you, and he seems to have realized.
"yeah? should i really now? you can remove 'em at any time, luv. but you're not. why is that?" he tilts his head to the side to give you better access to a particular wound. you refuse to answer his question, so his deep voice dripping in a cockney accent emerges from his throat once more to ask the question again. "hm?" he asks, his right hand traveling to your back to arch your back and push you into him, so you can feel his boner in between your legs, and this elicits a short, cut off whimper out of you that he obviously takes pride in, as his smile is now handsomely toothy.
"fu-- hobie, please," your hands falter as you continue flimsily working on his face.
"please wha'?" hobie says. "gotta tell me what you want. use your words, huh?" and with that, he hooks his long fingers under your pretty pink panties, tracing the rim. 
his eyes never left yours as he did all of this, and it was apparent to you that he had no shame. 
but you didn't either, because when his fingers were removed from the band of your panties, you whined for him. for the loss of his touch where you needed it most. 
"do you need something?" hobie questions, innocently raising his eyebrow, hands traveling to graze your stomach.
you shake your head, biting your lip, scared to open your mouth just incase anything unwanted slipped out.
"good." he says, grinning from ear to ear as his hand dips to your pooling cunt, nearly dripping on the floor as he pulls your panties to the side, leaving you hissing and your hands fumbling on his face.
"oh no, can't have that doc. pay attention baby. i like how my face looks," he says cockily, rubbing tight circles around your clit.
"mh', hobie, please..." you say, starting to lose feeling in the cold tips of your fingers. 
"told ya to use your words luv." he says, dipping one nimble finger into your dripping hole, eliciting a moan out of you and he seems to swallow it as it leaves your throat.
it wasn't long before he slipped another finger into you, fucking you on his fingers slowly, refusing to curl his fingers up to hit that spot of yours that you needed so badly. you set your tools aside and he stopped moving completely, tutting at you before you picked the tools back up, and he resumed his slow, torturous pace in your cunt. 
"jus' like that baby," he coos after you finish closing up another wound, struggling to keep your composure as his pace starts to go at a cut-throat speed, his digits expertly doing a 'come here' motion against your gummy walls, making you drop your tools once more. he returns to your clit and picks up his pace -- as if it wasn't fast enough already --, making you moan and squirm on his deft fingers. "hobie--" you start, getting cut off by a moan as your grip on his shoulders tighten. "fuck-- please, please, please, please.." you chant. you noticed his gaze wasn't on yours anymore, it was on the way your slick pooled in his palm so mesmerizingly. 
"fuck... that's it baby." he said as you broke apart on his fingers after one more thrust up into your dripping cunt, causing you to cum all over his fingers, all for him, on him, leaving you moaning and shaking on his fingers.
his gaze returned to yours, your face furrowed and your lips glistening from spit, hobie looked you in the eye, making sure you saw him lick all of your taste off of his long fingers, leaving his mouth with an overly lewd 'pop' sound. he then reached for you and pulled you closer to make out with you, exchanging spit. you could taste yourself on his tongue, causing you to moan into his mouth. 
you thought you were done, and you were in bliss, making out with hobie brown, forgetting all about his boner. he was going to make sure you took care of it just like he took care of you, which is why he unzipped his trousers and let you feel his cock spring up rubbing against your stomach. 
you looked down in shock. there was no way that was going to fit in you. he was crazy. "hobie, that's not gonna fit," you say, gaze fixated on his angry red tip.
"yes it is luv. jus' sit on it, yeah?" hobie says, motioning to it. 
you lift your hips, folds grazing the head of his dick. you start to sink down on it, and you let out a loud moan when the tip entered you. you refused to move anymore, looking at him with furrowed brows before he tore his gaze from where you two conjoined and looked at your facial expression.
"fine... gotta do everythin' me fuckin' self don't i?" hobie mumbles, before grabbing onto your hips and slamming you down onto the base of his cock, causing a loud moan and mixed in whimpers to rip out of you. 
"shit... hobs..." you say, resting your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and indulging in the full feeling. 
this only lasted for a couple of seconds due to how impatient your best friend was. soon, you heard a laugh followed by an "i know. fuckin' mesmerizin' innit?" hobie says, lifting your hips on his cock, before pushing you back down, eliciting a whimper out of your chest, causing you to reemerge and start bouncing yourself on his cock.
"fuck yes..." hobie says, groaning. "jus' like that baby. c'mon."
this made you bounce faster and start moving your hips around. hobie started to meet you in the middle with thrusts, the air becoming hot and steamy and filled with the mixture of your moans.
"oh my.. ha--...hobie..." your nails dug into his back as he thrust up into you. he didn't respond, but he started to trace circles around that pretty little nub of yours. "gonna cum for me baby? cum for me yeah? come on, all over my dick. cum for me please, i want it so badly. need you to cum all over my dick for me, please luv," hobie shamelessly whined in your ear.
and fuck, did he get what he asked for. his words sent you over the edge, making you cum all over that long-ass dick of his, forming a pretty white ring around the base of his cock as your cum dripped and followed the winding paths of his bulging veins. he noticed your eyes were off of his and on the enchanting scene in between you both, and with that he took your jaw in his hand and forced you to look him in the eyes. "keep ye fuckin' eyes on me, yeah?" he said in between heavenly groans that made you wonder if you could get wetter than you already were.
as he fucked you through your orgasm, stars formed in your vision and tears clouded your eyes as hobie groaned into your ear. with one more jerk up into your dripping cunt, hobie -- your 'best friend', need i remind you -- spilled his seed into you, slipping out of you, carrying you to your bed and fucking all of his escaping cum right back into your cunt with two digits, sticking the same two down your throat. 
"suck." he ordered, and you followed. 
he pulled your panties right back over your slick folds and laid beside you like he didn't just take your soul from you, fuck it, and return it to your body. 
"i think i like you," is all that british motherfucker says, facing you with an annoying -- but incredibly attractive at that -- shit-eating grin.
-------
authors note:
i did this in under 3 hours dont criticize anything please ill cry
hobie brainrot is going crazy rn!!!! give him more love so i dont have to anymore!!!
hobartholomew needs to be put in jail 😞😞
2K notes · View notes