#idk how to plural that love and light

[witchstone]

gideon coming out of her crib to shame the ninth house

#idk how to plural that love and light #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #the locked tomb trilogy #gideon nav #the locked tomb art #this was fast this was quick needed to get it out before my wrist gave up on me #forgive me i know naught about bones #the locked tomb fanart #m #mine #EDITED BC I FUCKED UP THE SURNAME THING

[texeoghea]

something abt performing expected gender roles but not as the gender youre “supposed” to be IF THIS GETS LABELLED MATURE YOURE TRANSPHOBIC

#my art #doodles #furry #trans art #zora #skylark #idk how open im ready or want to be abt being plural. sorry my favorite art subjects are my two co hosts #theyre beautiful to me. love and light on planet system forever.

[signoraviolettavalery]

Everything I can remember about the Den Haag and Amsterdam gigs, before I forget, but also I got about as little sleep as they did because I was a)worrying about their travel b)too hyped up to sleep

Den Haag

they were so hella energetic for people who had gone through All That to get here, Bojan was hella alive, but he didn't banter much with the crowd

It was Sinterklaas so they got soooooo many gifts. Hats, lofts of candy (traditional sinterklaas gift), bracelets, flags, letters...

Someone threw stroopwaffels because those are Kris' favorite

the Dutch crowd was so polite??? There was no barricade but nobody was grabbing them or their guitars, the only things that were being thrown at the stage were soft things like hats, nobody was chucking presents directly at them, any bracelets that got thrown were thrown gently onto the stage rather than at them

(fyi afterwards when the crew cleans up they go through and pick up all the gifts so as long as it gets onto the stage they'll get it)

they confirmed several times that they'll be back to the Netherlands

In Ne Bi Smel he changed "sem bil slep" to "sem kreten" again

when singing ASTP Bojan had the various parts of the venue cheer first, and the balcony that cheered the least loud got ASTP sung to them specifically; and at the end he changed the lyrics so they went "kako lepo disite me" aka "how nice you (plural) smell to me" idk was he saying the sweaty crowd filling this venue smelled nice to him (I have QUESTIONS)

there were balloons onstage, at some point, Jan decided he had a vendetta against the balloons, starting popping them with his boots by jumping around while playing the guitar and, being a clutz, got tangled in a flag/coat/something? by the drums and nearly fell over a;slkfjwe Jan why are you like this I love you

Kris got a pope hat that he put on right before NGVOT so he sang NGVOT as the pope I guess

Kris was drinking tea during the gig; every time Bojan was introducing the song he was just chilling by the drum set and sipping his tea while wearing sunglasses, iconic, gives zero fucks, I love him

Amsterdam

holy shit this gig was wild and magical. We gave them such a warm welcome and we screamed so loud I think even Bojan was impressed

the music as we were waiting for the gig was ABBA followed by Lady Gaga and Barbie Girl, and after the gig it was Avril Lavigne. We got most of those songs yesterday so Im' guessing Bojan picked that soundtrack :P

after they did Gola he asked "ok, so you know the words. How many of you hear aren't slovenian?" the entire fucking venue raises their hands. "we should get y'all on duolingo" Bojan Slovenian isn't on Duolingo!!

Bojan really, truly makes everyone feel seen. It's astounding. The opening act, Mia Nicolai, she was good, but she mostly just started in front of her, at the people in front of the stage. Bojan looks around and makes eye contact with everyone. The people on the balconies (I swear he looked straight at me, I died), the people in the front rows, the people on the sides, the people in the back. Every time, you feel seen. He's just got that something, not just stage presence, but that knack for being up there and making it a party that includes everyone

at some point, it got really hot and their crew started passing out water bottles. I think Bojan even went backstage during the Ne Bi Smel intro to ask them to give out more. He was really attentive and when one girl fainted or almost fainted during Ne Bi Smel he noticed, cut the music off immediately, the lights go up, and he made sure she was escorted by security and that she was okay before they restarted the song. Total pros.

introducing NGVOT: "I have to call a very special singer up to the stay. Kris. This song came about because of his broken heart. That heart is now healed" (important information to share I guess) and then Kris of course did NGVOT

Bojan: asks the crowd how to say umazane misli in Dutch. They tell him and he repeats it. Bojan then turns to Kris if he said it right, kris says no. "Well how would you say it then?" Bojan asks. "I don't know but what you said sounds wrong" as;lkfjwe Kris you're iconic

There were some Slovenians in the crowd! Including a girl whom Bojan went to high school with with. He dedicated Omamljeno Telo to her because "you heard it when I played it in high school"

He gave a really long intro to Plastika about how we're supposed to hate our analog minds and our analog bodies and how this is all terrible and basically just love yourself and don't judge others

Nace spent a lot of time playing across from Kris and didn't spend all that much time with his husband onstage :( :(

At the end Kris took off the Stozice outfit sleeves and threw them into the crowd so now there's two people who own that little piece of history

Anyway did I mention Amsterdam was magical, they were on fire, they were delighted to be there, the crowed was delighted to have them, and so enthusiastic, and there was just so much energy and hearing them live is truly something else. The recordings are amazing but being there, in that space with them, when they're at their best, hearing them actually perform those songs? Indescribable. Live CD when?

#joker out #amsterdam #den haag #i'm probably forgetting things so this post will be updated/edited #I gotta go catch a train now

[wovenintosilk]

Hii, hope you're doing well!❤ I'm here to ask for a request (if they are open, if not, just ignore this) for Miles (both the spiderman and the prowler). Okay so, the reader (can be female or gn) is best friend with both Mileses(idk how to write names in English in plural, sorry) and in the Earth 42! Miles' (the prowler) she/they died (how optimistic) before he became prowler but, in Spiderman! Miles' universe she's/they're alive. 42!Miles is in love with her/them and very sad 'cause she's/they're dead. The Spiderman! Miles is not in love with them since he met Gwen and fell in love with her. Also, the reader is super - duper smart and she/they help(s) the Spider Society sometimes with technology and etc for money, but it's not a spider person themselves. So, when Miles Spiderman goes to the wrong universe , the reader also goes there and when Miles (spider) wakes up, she wakes up also tied to a beating thing(idk what's it's name) and she's like "Nah, idk, I can't do pretty much without my tech and you took it" and just chill and calm, not caring pretty much about the situation since she/they can't change it (and if u can, please insert a word fight between Miles the prowler and the other Miles, where the prowler is like "She's a very good person, they did so much for both us, and is alive in your universe and still you choose to fall in love with a person who you may not even see again tomorrow and weren't there for you in your worst time?" And the spidey just tries to convince the prowler to let him go to his universe to save his dad) Thanks and sorry for a request this long 😭(and sorry if u didn't understand something, English isn't my first language) ❤❤

CW: References to Death

F!Reader (Use of She/Her Pronouns)

Word Count: 1300

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

A haze hung heavily over your eyes, clouded your vision as you tried to wake up and ignore the harsh throbbing at the back of your skull. Had you hit your head on something? You couldn’t even remember what had happened…

You followed Miles home. What he wanted to do had been dangerous and risky and could destroy everything both of you knew.

But it was Miles. All the times he’d had your back, both in and out of this dimension… you couldn’t leave him to fight this kind of battle by himself. After stepping through the portal, you’d only had a short period when you could look around before something hit you.

You flexed your fingers, surprised to find your arms restrained.

Alright. Damage control then. You could feel the leather pressing against your back so that must mean you weren’t tied to a wall or anything like that. A little shuffling revealed that it was movable to maybe a punching bag?

Which meant you should be able to rotate a little if you just adjusted your weight and… there.

The punching bag swung around as you slowly came to see two expressions staring at you – one panicked and uncertain while the other appeared an uncertain mix of neutral and confident.

But both versions were the same person. Miles.

And they both seemed very surprised you’d woken up.

“I didn’t think I would see you here,” you said, forcing your voice to work so you could croak out something and break the silence. “Uh… either of you, I suppose.”

Quick thinking made you aware of a few small problems with your current predicament. Perhaps largest of which you could see in the purple lighting surrounding you. The lair of the prowler and given the clothing choices of the new Miles, one you might know better than you wanted to.

“She’s alive.”

It was said so simply. Without question or thought. Yet it hit like a punch into your stomach as the implications of the words dug much deeper than you expected.

“Am I not meant to be?”

The Miles you didn’t know, shrouded in darkness and purplish-green hues stepped forward to get a clearer look at you. Something unnatural hung in his expression – it worried you how blankly he watched you. “No,” he eventually said. “No, you’re not meant to be alive in this dimension.”

The twisting feeling in your gut got a thousand times worse as you stared at him. What was that supposed to mean. Had you died here?

“Well,” you said. “I don’t think I’m meant to be dead in my dimension so have no plans to change that.”

“Why did you follow me?”

This time, the question came from the Miles you knew. The one who you’d spent countless hours speaking to. Yet he looked at you as though you’d betrayed him by following him through the portal. Maybe he thought you had.

“Nobody else knows where I came,” you explained. “They… they’re too occupied with everything else to waste time on me.”

“You should have stayed where you were safe,” the new Miles said and you felt like a tennis ball with how much you were being spoken to by both. “This dimension isn’t where you’re meant to be.”

“I didn’t really know that,” you complained. “I don’t routinely look at every dimension and see if I’m alive or not in it. All I did was follow Miles.”

“Then he shouldn’t have let you follow.”

Miles looked rather offended at his counterpart’s comment. “I didn’t even know she was going to do that. How was I meant to stop her if I only found out she followed me a few seconds ago?”

“You should pay better attention.”

You couldn’t help but wince at that, feeling almost validated in your own insecurities regarding the lack of consideration provided by Miles most days. Ever since he learned about the other Spidermen, things had felt somewhat strained between the two of you. After all, you couldn’t swing through the city with him or relate to all the secrecy and experiences of the superheroes.

“I have to get home somehow,” your Miles finally said. “Both of us do, alright? If you let us go, we can help save our dad.”

“Your dad. How is she alive?”

“What?”

The new Miles gestured to you and slowly turned to face Miles. “Did you save her?”

“From what?”

“Then she must not have been with you when it happened. Why? What were you doing instead of spending time with her?”

You were starting to get very confused but something else caught your attention. The build-up of Miles’ electricity, flowing steadily from his touch against the chains. He had a plan to escape from this – if only the other him didn’t notice.

“When did it happen?” you asked. “Maybe I can tell you.”

The date he said meant little to nothing to you. It was fairly recent and if you remembered well enough, you didn’t even see Miles that day. You’d meant to but by the time you arrived, he’d already been long gone with –

“You were with Gwen,” you said and then hurried to add. “She’s another… friend of ours.”

“Another friend from a separate dimension.”

Okay, so there was no getting around that. You nodded slowly, trying not to show how sensitive the topic was. You liked Gwen well enough even though she rarely truly socialised with you.

The new Miles scoffed. “So, he abandoned you for somebody new but I don’t see her here. She didn’t follow him.”

The awkward silence he caused nearly made you wince. Gwen’s betrayal still ran deep in Miles and you knew this topic wasn’t a great choice for right now. Still, you needed to keep speaking to maintain the Prowler’s attention so he wouldn’t notice the escape plan.

“Gwen had other things to deal with,” you told him. “And I wasn’t abandoned.”

“Do you believe that?”

You didn’t. But you weren’t exactly going to turn the attention back onto your Miles right now so you gritted your teeth.

“I’m sorry I died here,” you said.

“Obviously. You weren’t meant to. I tried… I don’t understand how it’s fair that you get to be alive in the dimension where another version of me forgets that you exist. And then you’re sent here and he gets angry at you. Strange.”

A break in the façade of the Prowler. For a second, the emotionlessness changed and you saw an actual response to how you felt.

“I’m not angry,” Miles defended himself. “I just need to get home quickly, alright? This is more important –“

“No, it’s not.”

As though a cruel joke in your favour, you saw a flash of something in the new Miles that you’d always wanted from the one you knew. The look of a person who could have once returned your feelings.

And so, you hesitated in speaking and he turned back to your Miles just as an explosion of electricity sent chain links in every dimension.

For a second, you met his eyes and watched him mouth that he’d be back right before he bolted for one of the windows. Glass shattered everywhere as his counterpart shook his head and bolted after him.

You groaned and rested your head against the punching bag, left alone in a warehouse.

The chains loosened around you and you had only a second to react before you landed on the ground. You winced and rolled your shoulders, turned around to find the last person you ever expected to.

“Come on,” Aaron says. “Boy wouldn’t want you to stay here and wait for him.”

You didn’t know which one he was referring to but without many options, you followed him into a harshly different world to the one you grew up in.

#across the spider verse x reader #atsv x reader #miles morales x reader #miles x reader

[linktotheheart]

I've been thinking of two of my biggest fandom loves, Legend of Zelda and The Locked Tomb.

I've seen so many takes that paint Hylia as evil, cruel, an oppressor who rejects the personhood of her chosen champion and steals away Zelda's chance at a life like a parasite creeping in to fill the shell of the girl who was always meant to be a vessel.

I've seen plenty of takes exactly counter to that, which insist that Hylia is kind, that Hylia is a person too and doing her best to love and be loved and save the world and the people she cares so much about and preserve their personhood.

I've also seen a few (though to my taste, not enough) takes on Hylia's ambitions, desires, and reasoning simply being alien to that of Hylians due to her goddesshood. On a human scale, she is amoral, because she operates on the scale of wars and worlds.

But one thing I haven't seen is: what if it's multiple of those? What if she loves her champion and princess so deeply she hurts them in the cruelest of ways? What if she is imperfect? What if she is abusive but not evil and a victim but not good? What if she's all of the above, and is simply so powerful that the way her actions translate to the tiny lives of people are tidal waves that are tiny in her wide ocean but devastation to the tiny island chains scattered throughout?

What if her actions are necessary and inexcusable? What if she destroys Link and Zelda every time she is trying to save them, her hands too big for the tiny fragile pieces of their heart? What if she is the most flexible narrative force, meant to represent courage, wisdom, power, and love?

What if The Legend of Zelda is just as much a story about the horrors of love as The Locked Tomb is? What if the horrors and wonders are just two sides of the same coin that is love? What if Hylia is kind and cruel and all the messy human things and an unfathomable deity? What if she is more than one thing? What if she is many things?

I dunno. Maybe it's just my adoration for the many different, often contradictory lenses through which the fandom views her. Maybe it's the way each iteration of LoZ paints her in a different light. In Skyward Sword, practically a main character, driving the narrative and being herself swept up in it. In Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, nearly absent beyond her fingerprints left on the hearts of Link and Zelda and her faint voice granting her hero back his strength. In still other games, fainter but still present like a slowly beating heart beneath the skin of Hyrule and realms beyond.

I love every interpretation of her. I love takes that pull from classical mythology to make her flawed and as petty and cruel as humans can be. I love takes that pull from the idea of a perfectly good deity that is a paragon of virtue. I love takes that stem from religious trauma that find her more cruel than Demise and more culpable for the destruction of their war.

I love takes in which she destroys Link and Zelda. I love takes in which she saves them. I love takes in which she and Zelda are one and the same, in ways that either maintain their separate personhood or synthesize it into an entirely new being (plurality, hello!). I love takes in which she and her champions control the strings of fate, and ones where they are helplessly entangled and imprisoned by them. I love takes in which she devours and takes in which she is subsumed.

Why should it only ever be one or the other? Why can't it be both? What's mutual exclusivity to an omnipotent goddess? Alternatively, how could she not be many things when she is a deity too helpless to save anyone herself?

Idk. Just, the horrors of love and how they don't erase or negate the wonders of it. How the two build on one another to make each greater. How pain and pleasure are just two kinds of ecstasy, and it's all just stimulation of nerve fibers. How Legend of Zelda is, above all, a mythos being retold throughout the ages in different worlds, and how therefore, it necessitates it's characters being many things.

Y'know?

#legend of zelda #hylia #link #zelda #the locked tomb #loz #tlt

[jess--posting]

this post will be back soon i prommy :)

hi hi im jess and im that one rescue corp guy you miiiightve seen bouncin around pnf-404? they/them but im a girl. i made friends with weird little plant guys and now im stuck doing everyones job... sad! oh well im having fun with it. kinda. please get me away from the green one

(rules and other info under the cut, last updated 5/19/24) (interacts from @kirbytripledeluxe)

IMPORTANT NOTES 🌿

so there are now technically four characters on this blog (even if i dont exist in pikposting) so the tagging system may be a bit confusing! stuff may get mixed up! heres a quick guide including how i color code their posts:

🍄: jess, they/them, 24 (currently unavailable) (usually the default)

🐟: me! toast or kirby, it/any, 17

🌼: oatchi, he/him, idk!!

💮: hope or beep, she/they, not even one years old

ive beaten pikmin 4 as of 4/26/24!!! spoilers are fine!

inactivity spikes may happen due to plurality, disability, and ,, my generally exhausting existence. sorry about that!! as a side note if i overstep or act weird or flood the tags TELL ME.

jess is NOT a sona or a self-insert, just my avatar in pik4, though i do project onto them quite a bit 👍

RULES 🌿

1. obviously no nsfw. while jess is 24 and technically allowed to do that, im not 18 yet at the time of writing this and am just not comfortable with it!

2. please dont get me involved in em/eto topics . i have a severe phobia of that

TAGS 🌿

3. other rookies are completely fine to interact!

4. if i slip and misgender jess (i sometimes accidentally use she/her) let me know please!!! ill do the same!

5. please no alcohol/drug abuse stuff outside of jokes (i.e. the scary weed), other characters using it is fine

6. ask before doing wizard stuff ok ?

ic 🍄/🌼/💮: posts by a character

ic answer 🍄/🌼/💮: answered asks by a character

putting them in situations 🍄: rp (←feel free to mute, i use the long post tag once they start getting long but i have a list of the finished ones at the end of this anyway)

jess images 🍄: self explanatory, often reblogs from my art account! i love drawing them!

about jess 🍄: info i share sometimes

ooc 🐟: posts by me

ooc answer 🐟: answers by me

and if you need anything trigger tagged tell me! ill tag it as "tw ___" (flashing lights will just be tagged as "flashing lights")

RP LIST 🌿

3/21/24-3/23/24 🍄 — puddle going through it

3/23/24 🍄 — taking amalgam home

3/24/24-3/26/24 🍄 — lumiknoll moment

3/31/24 🍄 — super mario shaky tower hell

4/22/24 💮 — cherry brings hope and oatchi back to the base!

5/14/24-5/16/24 🍄 — (MAJOR WARNING FOR BODY HORROR + GORE) great job everyone we killed jess

OTHER BLOGS 🌿

@heroleaf-posting

@pudle-blogging (not to be confused with puddle)

@groovylonglegs-blogging

@eyewraith-posting

@fritz-posting

#pikmin #pikmin rp #pikmin 4 #im not adding more tags rn im new to this #pikposting #intro 🍄 #about jess 🍄

[not-alien-girl-v]

Could you pleaaaase to a tate Langdon x chubby!reader smut? Maybe? Shits getting heated then as they are about to undress tate gets concerned as why reader looks upset and reader explains they suffer from body dysmorphia, but tate makes it’s all better and reassures them it’s okay, then they continue soft fluffy vanilla shiii, thanks !

Body Problems

warning: almost smut. perchance. body mentions?? idk

note: this one’s a tough one. here’s a picture of my cat for consolidation

“What’s your deal?” Tate asks you as you launch yourself face first onto his plush duvet. Constance must have just washed it, it no longer carries his boyish scent, instead smelling like clean laundry.

“Mmmm,” you groan and he looks over at you from his beanbag chair, dark and purple and velvet, perhaps a little too worn out from vigorous years of sitting.

He lit a candle a few hours ago and blew it out right around the time you arrived. It’s rose scented, and the label said ‘for attracting lustful lovers.’ ‘Lovers’ as in plural. He doesn’t want multiple lovers, he just wants you. He lights that candle every time you come over and of course, you have no idea. You’ve come to know it as the general scent of his room, blind to his secret plot.

“Use your words,” the words are a scold but they come out anything but, soft and loving like a whispered affirmation, and he approaches you now. He perches on the side of his bed next to you and lays a loving hand in your hair. He pets you a few times like a dog before pulling out the clip you have holding your hair up.

“I’m sad,” you lift your face up for air and end up smushing it right into the side of his thigh. With his hand, he affectionately rubs your head, inching slowly to your neck, then your back, and when he dares to dip a little bit lower you sit upright and adjust to sit with him side by side. Your doubled weight on the bed causes you to sit right next to him, nearly attached at the hip.

“I gathered.” You must be really upset, he thinks, because you usually love it when he touches you. You lean into his side and rest your head on his shoulder but he doesn’t let you. Instead, he pulls your chin to face him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you and the way he’s staring at you implies he’s seeing straight into your soul, and you can’t help but confess.

“Just a bad day,” he caresses your cheek and you lean your face into his warm palm.

You don’t notice he’s leaning in closer until he speaks one last time, “I bet I can make it better.” That’s the last you hear before he slowly closes the gap between each of your lips.

He’s warm and tender, and he’s right, he does know exactly how to make a bad day better. He keeps his one hand on your face, circling around to the back of your head but your surprised when you feel his other hand riding up your thigh. It started out as a gentle pressure but he began sliding higher, higher, up your stomach and with no further thought, he grabs your boob and fondles it.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it, so you let him and lean into his kiss more. You’re full on making out now, his hand slowly snaking under your shirt and both of yours on the sides of his head.

He pulls away, eyes down at the hem of your T-shirt where his finger teasingly plays at it. He doesn’t say anything but looks back at you, alarmed when he sees a scared look on your face. Abruptly, he drops your shirt, “hey, hey what’s wrong?”

You can’t bring yourself to say anything at all, but you really wish you could. There’s never a right thing to say, never a good time to bring it up to him, not that you could find the words for it.

You almost hated the way you looked. ‘Almost’ because ever since you met Tate, your self esteem had been on the rise. He saw you as a person, a living, breathing human being capable of love and worthy of respect before he ever fathomed your body, which is so much more than you could ever ask for.

But that didn’t keep your plethora of bad thoughts at bay. You’d always have a little voice in the back of your brain, a clawing force speaking to you through dark times, and as much as Tate loved you and taught you to love yourself, there was no cure for your ailment.

He senses that you wouldn’t want to talk about it right away, so he just pulled you into his arms and let you cry it out. Again, best boyfriend ever, and you totally didn’t deserve him. He must be a saint for loving you.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he starts and he must be able to read your mind because you’ve provided him with nothing but a sad look and a few tears but he knows. He knows because he loves you.

You pull away, “I never know. I can never tell. I just- I look in the mirror and I don’t know what I am.”

He holds you by the waist and a firm hand on the back of your head, furrowing into your hair. “You’re perfect.”

He always knows the right thing to say to make you feel better. It’s not a permanent fix for everything wrong, but it sure does feel good to be loved by him.

#ahs #tate langdon #evan peters fanfiction #american horror story #evan peters x reader #tate langdon x reader #evan peters #evan peters x you #fanfic #fluff

[riverthebooknerd]

LINKED UNIVERSE HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU

(mostly wild, time, twilight, sky, and wind centric cuz those are the main games i've played)

they're all trans

people think that time is the dad of the group but nah. it's twilight

four uses "we/us" pronouns (they/them but actually plural)

wild will either cook the most delicious fucking food you've ever seen in your goddamn life or a pile of rocks (canon)

wind can see ghosts. they all know this. however, sometimes he'll say that there's a spooky ghost when there's not just to freak them out (wild knows. he doesn't say shit bc it's funny)

sky can cook one (1) dish and it's pumpkin soup (he learned after he had to work at the lumpy pumpkin to repay them for breaking shit) (everything else he makes is inedible)

most of them are nonverbal (bc autism and also ptsd)

you'd think that time knows sign language but NO because he grew up in a forest around fairies who don't have? visible hands?? i think?? (he learns sign from wild)

also i've seen people say that time Doesn't Cuss which is simply Not True. let him say fuck. he deserves to say fuck.

the only one of them who doesn't cuss is probably sky. but there are exceptions

actually no i take it back. that fucker says fuck too

All Of Them Should Say Swear Words

please they're so tired just let them say fuck

the ones who have a hookshot are ecstatic to tell the ones without a hookshot about the joys of using it (ex: sky showing it off to wild, who has stars in his eyes, talking about how it'd make climbing in the rain so much easier)

speaking of sky and wild- the realize that there's a merchant named beetle in both of their eras. weird as shit. sky is like "wtf" but wild kinda just nods and goes "yeah okay why not sounds about right tbh"

nightmares

nightmares

have i mentioned nightmares? because they all have nightmares

also nearly all of them have had Queer Encounters and they vent about it!!

sky talking about how ghiriham was UNFAIRLY hot

twilight still sad over midna :( (they're gay btw don't question it they just are)

(wind is an exception bc. he's a fuckin child)

wild lowkey bein like "yeah tbh.... ganondorf before he was mummified?"

time has a wife. time loves his wife

wasn't there that one ship with hyrule/ravio?? haven't played that game so idk but they seem gay (edit: oop it was legend/ravio not hyrule/ravio lololol)

fuck what was this post about again?

they all sleep with a weapon under their pillow (or with no pillow!! just weapon! :] )

some of them (sky) are very heavy sleepers while others (time) are very light sleepers

it's a nice balance because twilight and wild will wake up at the ass crack of dawn and then wind won't wake up until noon. they make a schedule

people also portray them as being So Fucking Awkward but i disagree. have you PLAYED a zelda game? these fuckers will waltz into town, fix every single person's problems, and become the new village icon in the span of two hours. they're so fucking friendly omfg

like these fuckers have fought MONSTERS they've fought DRAGONS and CORPSES and the KING OF EVIL they ain't afraid of a little human interaction (except when they are)

hylia will throw them in a room together and they'll all be like "hi!! :] am link i go hyah" "omg no way me too!! :0 look at my shiny sword and my bag of bombs" "sick"

sky would be like so fucking guilty like "im sorry i failed and got cursed by a demon king guys :(((" and everyone else would be like "oh nah don't even worry about it lmao happens to all of us"

maybe i'll make a pt 2 once i finish my homework who knows

#linked universe #legend of zelda #loz #link #every single link #all links #link loz

[iamyoursonly]

Sunsets (6/11/2023)

suddenly wanted to write this idk bro but life seems harder rn

As the remaining bit of the sunset gleamed over the horizon, after the last bit of light entered my eyes, everything seemed like it was all gone, as if all was left, but except for the street lights near where I was sitting. Looking down to my feet, I realised that the shadows on the ground weren’t plural anymore, it was just me myself and I. The other shadow was long gone…

Holding up my pen after getting home and trying to concentrate on my work was hard, especially when you somehow broke up with me out of nowhere. All those “I love you”s and “I would never leave you”s were lies, because what else could men do but lie.

Despite us going through hard times together for 14 long years, you decided the bonding wasn’t enough and left me. Where was the sense in that?! God, please let me just disappear from this world. All that loathe I have felt towards you seemed to have exploded in my thoughts, and I couldn’t help but bawl my eyes out at every thought of you.

Deep down I knew — I still loved you.

Gojo Satoru, I still remember your name. As if our breakup was yesterday, but time has passed since and it’s been almost 5 years. Our immature years were over and we were both working for our society, making money and just being alive for this sole purpose.

A chorus of delirium rushed through my head when I got accepted into my dream job — being a teacher at a high school. But life was unfair, I know, I’ve been through it all before. My delirium was destroyed when you showed up as my teacher in charge. I was basically devastated.

Maybe you were 27, but you didn’t act like it. You were just an over grown child even at work, I mean why did they accept you into the school even when you’re just a giant baby!

“Well look at that isn’t it my favourite youngster?” You’d say and look at me, I had to curse under my breath before looking at you in the face with a smile, “Mr. Gojo, may I inform you that I’m merely two years younger than you?” And when you pout and start acting childish again, the memories of us being together appeared in my mind again, it was as if fate brought back us together in this school.

My delusions were crushed when you had announced your engagement with another pretty lady, whom you apparently met a few months prior. It was almost so obvious that your mother set you up with her, but it wasn’t like you to agree without throwing a whole tantrum. But that smile you had on your face while giving me the invite to your wedding seemed genuine, and what could I do but respect your decision.

Denial is a river in Egypt, I know. But maybe it’s also what I’m feeling right now, how could you choose her over me though? I thought I had gotten over you, but all those thoughts just keep coming back to my head. “How could you do this to me, Gojo.” I mumbled, in my own house.

On the day of your wedding, it felt illegal to show up, but you sounded so anticipated to have me show up to your wedding, and have I ever said no to you? Never. So I went, in the dress that you bought me on our 4th dating anniversary. It was blue, just like your eyes. And that time of the day, was the sunset, my favourite time of the day.

When I arrived, you looked so handsome in that white suit, I might just faint from looking at you, and we might have made some brief eye contact before you broke it, and that tiny blush on your face was quite visible too.

The vows. I hated it, why would you vow to love a woman you didn’t want to marry, oh how I wished you would’ve pulled me onto the stage and married me instead…

“Would you, Gojo Satoru, be the legal husband of Naoko Tsurugi and love her forever?”

“No.” You spoke. That stern look in your eyes sent shivers down my spine, but thank god you spoke up. The girl you married also opposed your marriage too, and said she had someone she wanted to marry. Your gaze looked soft, as if a stone was lifted from your heart.

I’d thank the heavens if they gave me a chance to savour your love again, and I’d never thank it enough when you pulled me on the stage and asked me to marry you instead. Naoko didn’t seem opposed at all, instead, she was the biggest supporter and told us to kiss.

“Well what do you say princess, would you like us to get married?”

“What if I say no.”

“You wouldn’t say no to me.”

What could I say, those years of bonding really made us lucky. And it seems like I could never get rid of Gojo Satoru. But I love it so much.

Only that sunset finally had two silhouettes.

master list

sunrise

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #drabble #gojo and you #satoru gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu satoru #i am not okay #jjk #a bit sad if you squint

[pluralcultureis]

ocd plural culture is feeling a moral imperative to answer: what the heck type of system are we?

dealing with a lot of internal fake-claiming and feeling like we’re a bad system bc we have low narrative amnesia but a *lot* of emotional amnesia and some greyouts and lots of short-term memory issues so we thinking we are exaggerating how disordered we are bc no blackouts or “unrecoverable” greyouts

we were diagnosed osdd but that was before the greyouts and some of the narrative gaps came to light (amnesia of amnesia type situation) so we claim did for ourselves collectively but don’t think that’s right to do without being dx-ed, and our current therapist doesn’t feel qualified to re-do our diagnostic assessment (he treats us as if we’re did and just doesn’t uhhhhh have it in our chart? and idk why that bothers us so bad but the ocd might be why)

our host is also kind of a narrative memory manager and stuck in co-con all of the time so maybe we’d be p-did if we lived in Europe?

but we’re also polyfrag (150+ of us and about 300 other fragments who are all in at least 15 subsystems of varying complexity divided into 4 layers and a wacky galactic-scale headspace) and have no idea how that works if we’re “just” osdd or p-did

ugh

anyway we’d love to know if anyone relates

-☁️

.

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is

[robotpals]

JUST FINISHED JEDI SURVIVOR…….

short review (but spoilers obvs!) below the cut :-)

Okay my two complaints about JFO were (1) the game was too short, and (2) I missed being able to make choices. Oh boy did this game correct qualm number one! And oh boy did this game go in the wrong direction for number two.

Things I liked: the settings, the music, the new characters! And despite some of my complaints with the story, there were long portions that were so… star wars? If that makes sense. Like playing the game gave me the same feeling as when I play kotor or watch anh or rebels! Like it was just so good in that classic, earnest, adventure-y, quintessentially star wars way. I LOVED Cal going dark side a little—I do wish that had been expanded upon more, but it came at such a perfect point in the story, and was well executed, when it happened.

Things I didn’t like: I realize that this game is not an rpg but the fact that I had NO control over the story was frustrating. And, realistically, I just need to get over it and accept that the story is what it is, and it will never be the game I want, but still! Especially when this game had Cal flirt with the dark side so late in the game, I think it would’ve been the perfect opportunity to add a little rpg-quality, and let you, as the player, figure out how/when/whether to come back to the light. And the NUMBER ONE thing I couldn’t stand not having control over was the romance!!! I HATE cal/merrin. I really do. And the fact that not only it happened but also it was ~*important~* to the story really frustrated me. You should’ve been able to say “no thank you!” to the whole thing. And what kills me is that I wouldn’t have said I disliked them after JFO! But the way it was done in this game was so…. standardly heterosexual? Like, she’s a girl and he’s a boy. So now they’re going to kiss. There was no lead up! Nothing that made you want it to happen! Gross.

Oh, and speaking of things with no lead up. Bode is easily one of my top ten favorite star wars characters now! So I’m biased, but I think there was something really weird about the ending? Like, I thought his initial betrayal was perfect—shocking, but there had been just enough lead up to make it believable. But the end? Where he wouldn’t step down against Cal? That was weird, and I didn’t think the story had done enough to sell him as crazy or delusional, which he apparently was by the end of the game. Like, he had been single-mindedly focused on being there for Kata, but then he goads Cal into killing him? And, going back to my wish that this game were an rpg, I wish you could’ve had the choice to spare Bode. The ending was very…. not Jedi, and to go from that to Cal seeing Cere’s force ghost was like. A weird transition. And why was Kata, like, 100% okay with her dad dying? IDK, there was something really off about the ending to me.

Okay, one last complaint/one last peek into my psyche. Before the game came out, I saw a review that mentioned Cal meeting new people, some of whom seemed like romance options. The article used plural words and no pronouns. And I fell for it!! I thought you’d maybe be able to be gay in this game. How silly of me! I’m mad at myself for feeling let down about that, because obviously star wars will never let there be gay characters! So I’m annoyed with myself, and annoyed with this game, and god. I just really think you should’ve been able to romance Bode. The end

#jedi survivor #js

[springtrappd]

not trying to sound rude or aggressive or anything i swear, but what exactly Is it abt like. eclipse and ruin in general that you have critiques of? i'm still trying to figure out exactly what i think of it myself - it wasn't ANYTHING like what i was expecting, and to be perfectly honest i was also one of the Book Doubters(trademark pending) so that was a huge culture shock to me as well. idk i go in-between being really impressed and really liking it, to being salty that it wasn't what I think a good chunk of ppl including myself were expecting? looks like there's gonna be more down the line as far as this SB storyline goes so i'm curious and cautiously optimistic. i'm not totally sold on the mimic yet but thats probably bc I haven't been reading the tales books. guess i should start now lmao

i should make it clear that i actually haven't finished ruin yet, which is why i've been holding back on talking about it -- i'm up to bonnie bowl! so i'll refrain from commenting on that, except to say that the gameplay is a massive improvement from sb and only has more minor design flaws vs the base game's... fundamentally broken, lmao. they listened to criticism, refined their ideas and executed them with the resources available, and they did it well! i have mostly positive things to say on that front, which is nice. :)

eclipse is harder to talk about because... like, to give you an idea of how badly it effected me: it pissed me off so bad i started dissociating for the rest of the night, gave me stress stomach-aches when I refused to stop playing and then woke me up at 6am this morning nauseous and in pain. and that's not me being a wimp, that's me experiencing somatization, which is a real thing that i struggle with a lot, so hopefully you can understand why I'm not exactly keen to talk about this? especially when literally every time i even try to someone gets mad at me for breathing. please keep this in mind as i go on to say: eclipse is ableist as fuck and completely inexcusable.

as presented within ruin's visit to the daycare, the dca is left in a state of disrepair after the earthquake and subsequent abandonment left the pizzaplex to fend for itself. they're trapped between their two personalities, with both of them insisting that they are the one who knows what they should do; sun wants to be a good boy and do arts and crafts and whatever, and moon wants to send everyone to bed, blah blah you know the drill. as you complete the segment sun and moon regularly argue with each other, with sun holding the upset moon back from attacking cassie as she reactivates the generators, turning the lights on and stunning moon long enough for her to whack him with the faz-wrench, forcing a system reboot... and he's immediately reborn as eclipse, a lovely and kind figure with no memories of anything that happened who gently escorts you out and wishes you well. he's fixed now, you see! you did it! you got rid of his evil split personality, you've made him normal again, and without the aberration that is plurality he has not a cruel bone in his body!

the implications of this are incredibly fucking obvious and deeply deeply upsetting, and why i'm gonna point-blank say i'm not entertaining further discourse over whether this is reaaaally ableist or if they reaaaaally meant for them to read as a system or... nope, it's done, we're not fucking going there. it doesn't matter what they intended -- what they intended is pretty obvious, actually; they've decided to tackle a subject they're incredibly ill-equipped to handle, and the result is a character -- descended from the visual language and cultural canon of tales like split and psycho -- whose arc concludes with the reveal that it was being a system that made them violent. and the boss fight was dumb and bad and ignored all the previously-explained mechanics of this character to do this. it is aggressively stupid fanservice that turns what was once simply "poor taste walking the line of good faith" into "actual offensive caricature with zero room for doubt", and the only thing more despair-inducing than this twist is the community of people gleefully eating it up as their yummy angst fuel for their ultimate comfort character. and i shouldn't be surprised, considering it's coming from the "how dare you ask me to examine why i find it scary when the dca experiences altered identity states" crowd, but i am, unfortunately, an idealist doomed to be let down by normies. huzzah.

as for the mimic: I'm perfectly fine with afton getting laid to rest (he deserves it!), I'm not one of those guys, but in its current iteration (and from my understanding of it) it suffers immensely from having literally zero reason to be doing any of this shit and being yet another rejection of the supernatural in favour of sci-fi bullshit. because it's from the novels and the novels are allergic to ghosts. and having your entire story drip-fed in mediocre spin-off novels filled with blatant fetish content marketed to naive twelvies is so obviously bad storytelling that i don't even think i need to get into the piss-poor prose and legitimately cruel messages to explain why i hate that one

#speaking! #discourse #asks #anon #ruin spoilers #long post #long long post #and i'm a fan of multimedia projects! i'm a vocaloid guy! #this is bad. it's a bad decision and we have the frights stannies to blame. #and also matpat can't forgive him #sorry this is so long again. promise i don't mean it #this shit just makes me see red #and i always lose the plot along the way #and like... requires so much emotional honesty #this isn't hypotheticals this is Me and my Personal Experience #i have to lay bare one of my deepest darkest secrets #for the examination of others #just to beg people to stop spitting on me #and they'll do it anyway. #because I'm just words on a screen. #I'm not saying you're a bad person for liking them #(although i have a low opinion of you for liking this twist. sorry) #but i am begging you to self-examine #and read into the issue. read some theory. it's good for you. #and read better fucking books

[the-furies]

Autistic System Ask:

2, 6, 11

-Glass

under the cut!

Does being autistic affect your plurality? How?

I believe so yes! Our sysmates tend to form based on hyperfixations or special interests, currently that's the only way I can think of but I'm sure there's more

OH!! bits n pieces of our special interests also seep into how our system functions. Like w Pokemon, a lifelong special interest, a handful of us have partner Pokemon in-sys and we do like. In Depth Research™ on what Pokemon would fit who based off dex entries, typing, and sysmate personalities, vibes, and aesthetics lmao

Do the symptoms differ between headmates?

Yes! Encyclo holds Most of our symptoms I think and those that I can remember rn areee being much more physically aware of what the body needs than everyone else, along with still following its namesake—it holds most of our special interests & hyperfixation knowledge too. OH ALSO other physical shit like walking on our toes & weird arm positions & The Stare™ if it Needs to make eye contact

I also think being aware or like. hypersensitive of others' emotions fluctuates for us? Some of us [Encyclo, myself, and ironically enough Empathy] Do Not Quite care or are aware about what others Feel. In a "ok well that sucks Idk how to help? Have you tried XYZ things?" or a "this person is sad I think. Idk what to do tho so bye I'll get someone else that knows how to Emote And Feel better to try to help" sorta way like we feel Some Sympathy but little to no Empathy I Think. Idk words hard rn.

And then some others [E-Chem and Half Light mainly] are Hypersensitive of others' emotions [or what they perceive anyways?? the distinction between that and paranoia is. difficult jssjcjfj] to the point of panic and it's like. For The Love Of God 🅱️lease Calm Down. We Can't Function Like Thisss aiaiakskdjfe

Do you have any samefoods? Have you ever?

Yes!!! Usually one sysmate's samefood spreads to others in the roster FJJSKSKXCJ we've been on a mac n cheese kick again bc of half light LMAO & if candy counts thennnn. Esprit legit only fronts if we're eating grape candy and its love of grape candy Is Spreading JFHCNXM

what's rlly funny abt the mac n cheese tho is it Was a samefood for our [former???????] mains Rosie & Allan a couple years back. And then it became a Detested Food when Han & Will formed. And then it became a samefood again when we all formed in February FJDJFK

-Inland

#ask #thank you!!! #I hope my answers make zense it is Late here & words hard #we haven't really talked abr our autism here . we're self dxed & r still Learning abt things. ahhajsd -Inland

[thermodynamiclawyer]

HAIII👋👋👋FELLOW PV ENJOYER I just wanna say I LOVE UR ART SM🥺🥺the way u draw pv is SOSOSOSOSO COOL N FUNKY I LOVE IT SMMM I usually don’t follow accounts that post purecacao not becauz i hate the ship it’s just not really my thing (also becauz my besties fav ancient is lily and we like making aus together a lot so it’s just easier 2 slam our faves together HSHSHD) but but BUT!! u are the EXEPCTION i just cannot resist ur pv art swagger. it is too pretty it is TOO MUCH OF. A LOT OF GOOD THINGS I DON’T WANNA MAKE A HUGE LIST RN BUTBUT ur gonna get spammed with notifs from me in a second becauz im going through ur pv tag and reblogging ur art of him. I actually saw ur art a lot earlier but. i didnt interact with it idk why I just didn’t feel like writing out a ton of tag compliment essays that day and then I just continued to put it off,, the wonders of having the disorder(s? I just recently got on meds for add but I’m not actually properly diagnosed yet) (also I’m autistic so disorders plural I think) I literallt have no other excuse for not interacting with ur art sooner other than. executive dysfunction sucks and also becauz I wasn’t sure if u were the type of real and TRUE!! purecacao shipper 2 still think lily is shippable or were one of the kinds of people to demonize lily insanely a lot. I had 2 unfollow some1 before becauz they made an extremely negative post about lily that made me kindof uncomfy but. seeing as u also ship hollylily(valid btw) I think it’s time I finally follow u becauz. I love ALL UR ART SM!!!! and I wanna eat it stuff it into my mouth like a chipmunk and run away with it forever it is so. ur style is soooososo unique but in such a visibly appealing way it boggles my MIND when people manage 2 make such unique art styles look SOSO GOOD especially since the only way I was able 2 make my art look okay was 2 make it look. less unique idk. no clue what spawned me 2 ramble on for this long idk I just. think ur art is cool okay. I see ur pv art and my eyes light up n go shiny like big sparkly anime eyes the way u draw is just so. sosososoososo. so. insert every compliment physically possible here I can’t possibly stress this enough just. art. pretty. and I’m envious that ur not even that much older than me I hope that. my improvement speeds up in the next 2-3 years it would b really cool if my art was just as cool as urs when I’m 19. idk. end of ask I’ve gone on for too long I’m sorry I hope u don’t mind. whatever this is ig

this means so much to me holy shit i’m so happy you like my art. and i’m very happy ur a lily enjoyer too!!! i totally agree with you, people demonize her way too much (probably because she “gets in the way” of ppls “gay ships” WHICH I HATE THAT EXCUSE). i still ship purelily, i like to imagine it as a relationship they had in the past. i’m not gonna ignore what they have in canon cuz it’s obvious they loved each other!!! (i’m not gonna freak out when i see other ships with the characters i like LOL). i still love lily and i want her to be happy, she has an incredible amount of depth to her character. she’s not heartless, but she’s not a shy damsel in distress like how other people depict her as well. she’s flawed and incredibly multidimensional, and i hope i have the opportunity to show that more often :D that makes me happy to hear you’re still open to other artists that ship different (normal) things, i hope you enjoy what i draw in the future as well!! i love the ancients a lot and i love other ancients-fans as well!!!

#cookie run kingdom

[funnywormz]

1 22 38 + 39!

1 - if you have a lighter, what color is it?

i do have a lighter! i don't smoke so it's for lighting incense and candles, also sometimes i just light it to stare at the flame for a bit (is that weird? probably lol). it's dark blue :-) just a generic plain bic one

22 - do you have a collection of cool rocks?

i do actually! as a kid i had a big special interest in prehistoric animals so i used to collect fossils, and also just pretty stones bc i liked them. my favourites are the trilobite fossils, i have 3 of them iirc

38 - what’s the meaning behind your url?

i am a funny silly guy. i love worms esp geoplanidae (terrestrial flatworms). and i go by Z online! also i like it when ppl replace the s with z in plurals it's fun. and that's how the funny + worm + z url came to be. it's pretty simple hehe there isn't rlly any big special meaning behind it

39 - is there wise words you live by?

idk how to summarise it well but there's that one tumblr post abt how you shouldn't assume other ppl hate you bc it's like. an insult to them as well as yourself. and other ppl don't like being used as a tool for your own self deprecation. and idk that one just rlly stuck with me and whenever im tempted to assume other ppl hate me i always remember it and it helps me make sense of it and realise that im being irrational. like even if you're not doing it intentionally, when you believe that someone secretly hates you you're basically putting them in the role of a villain or a bully inside your head and nobody wants to be seen that way, nobody wants someone to use them as a tool for self flagellation. it took me a long time to understand this one bc i genuinely believed that i was just thinking rationally when i assumed ppl hated me, but once i realised that that way of thinking wasn't constructive it led to a huge improvement in my mental health and i think it's helped a lot with my social skills as well bc im not as much of a downer to be around yknow?

also just in general the realisation that hating yourself benefits nobody was just rlly helpful for my mental health. and realising that some ppl are gonna dislike you no matter what and that that's not a reflection of your worth as a person. basically just learning to give less of a fuck abt what other ppl think/what you assume they think bc life is too short to not be myself/enjoy being me rlly helped

[walks-the-ages]

The link to easier to run still doesn't seem to work (for me at least)... idk, would you consider posting the fic on your blog maybe? You don't have to, of course

Here's the link to it on A03 since FF.n isn't cooperating, for anyone that wants to leave a comment.

Full fic under readmore, since it's pretty "short" as far as my chapters go :)

Copied directly from a03 so the summary's here too.

----------------------

Season 4 AU: What if Marinette had actually run away from home, to become Ladybug full time?

Well. A lot can happen from one small divergence in the timeline...

Friends and family deal with the loss of their loved one, Gabriel Agreste has one competent bone in his body, Adrien tries to pull his usual stunts, and Marinette embarks on a journey of self-discovery while dealing with memory issues, superheroing, Guardian duties, depression, anxiety and...

...voices in her head? (Plural!Marinette)

-----------------

Notes:

Adrien stans, leave. turn away. if you try to leave dumb essays in my comments about how wooby baby uwu Adrien is you will literally just be laughed at and deleted. you have all the fanfiction in the world you could be reading instead of my fic that is clearly tagged as adrien critical. If you keep reading after this, you only have yourself to be mad at.

-----------------

Marinette couldn't sleep.

For long minutes, she stared at her skylight, watching the lights of cars move across her ceiling, distorted into eerie lines that crawled across her walls like ghosts.

She tried to distract herself by counting the lights as they slid over the foot of her bed and up the wall to vanish again, but nothing could distract her from the dark thoughts in her head.

Rolling over to her side, Marinette didn't need to fumble for her phone; she'd been staring at the darkness on the inside of her eyelids long before she'd finally opened them up to look at the dark walls. Her eyes had long since adjusted to the night's gloom, and the white charger cord that was plugged into her grey phone stood out like a silver beacon.

Unplugging her phone and turning the screen towards her, Marinette hit the power button and squinted against the glare as the numbers blinded her:

3:56 am

Dragging her thumb down the screen, Marinette tried to turn the brightness down, but it was already at the minimum setting.

Resolved to being overwhelmed by the dimmest of lights, Marinette looked at the red lights tracing across the foot of her bed and knew she couldn't stand lying in bed for another three hours before she had to get up for school.

Sitting up, Marinette pushed her blanket down to the foot of her bed, balled it up, and chucked it down over the side of the bed rail, so it landed next her ladder with a soft thwump.

Climbing down the ladder, Marinette scooped up her blanket and slung it under her desk, into the corner. Retrieving her diary from it's rudimentary lock box, Marinette double checked that the Miracle Box was secure and that only a kwami could see it, then stooped down, and crawled underneath her desk.

Pulling the blanket up over her head and wrapping it around her like a cocoon, Marinette settled into the cramped spaced in the corner, feeling more grounded.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Marinette opened up her diary, turned her phone screen towards it, and hit the power button. Light flooded out, illuminating the blue-lined pages, and the handwritten text within it. It was set to tomorrow's date, still blank, waiting for her to fill it in the next night.

But Marinette did not pull out the glitter pen that was slotted in the back cover and begin to write a new entry; instead, she flipped the pages backwards.

Back through time, seeing each date pass her by, certain phrases and sentences jumped out of the coded text that only she could decipher, as bold in the text as it was branded in her mind, going backwards, just snippets from much larger entries:

Two days ago:

Chat Noir. Just. Won't. Stop. I can still feel lips against mine, no matter what I do to scrub it away. He did it again, but in front of a crowd this time. My mind went blank, and I punched him, but he just joked with the crowd that I was embarrassed with PDA. I feel sick.

Luka was there, and he doesn't know it's me, and we're not even together, but that just makes it worse. I felt like I betrayed him, and I didn't even want it to happen. He was the only one that tried to stand up to Chat Noir and tell him to leave me alone, but Chat Noir just laughed again and told him to mind his own business.

I left before Chat Noir could do anything else, especially when I saw Luka was trying to come up to me. If he tried to comfort me, I would have broken down right there and told him everything. I got away before everyone saw me cry, but now I just can't stop. The kwami have tried to cheer me up but I just can't stop crying. Why? Why does it hurt so much?

Four days ago,

Chat Noir kissed me. After I had just finished telling him, again , to stop. Why won't he stop? I yelled at him and pushed him away, but he just laughed at me. I think I had an anxiety attack because I literally don't remember anything after that, except 'waking up' at home, standing in the shower.

Five days ago,

I broke up with Luka.

I got an F on the test at school.

Why does everything have to go wrong? Does the universe hate me?

I can't stop crying.

A week ago,

I'm getting really worried now. I thought I was just being more forgetful than normal because of stress, but this isn't normal. This is getting really, really bad. I keep… blacking out. I have hours at a time that are just… gone. First I'm in class and then I 'wake up' later, but I'm on a rooftop, and apparently I fought an akuma, but don't remember it at all? I checked the Ladyblog but it didn't mention the akuma having memory powers… Chat Noir was being snippity again, I guess I said something to him that he didn't like, because he was being really sarcastic and pouty about us not being a couple again. Good fucking riddance, maybe it'll stick this time, maybe he'll finally stop, and leave me alone.

Ten days ago:

I'm confused, apparently me and Luka arranged to go to the museum together today? He came to pick me up and we had a really nice time, I thought he was surprising me, but when we got to the Grande Halle de la Villette, he asked me where my ticket was, and when I asked him what he meant, Tikki snuck it into my hand. Apparently it's been in my wallet all month. It was fascinating to learn about and see Tutankhamen and learn about his life, but I was distracted, wondering how I could have forgotten we had this date planned. It's the last time Tutankhamen will be on exhibit outside of Egypt, and it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'm glad I'm old enough to appreciate it, I just don't understand why I can't remember planning it, no matter how hard I try.

Twelve days ago,

I totally forgot we had a project due today. Ms. Bustier is going to let me do a make-up essay, but I'll be marked down a letter grade. My overall grades have dropped from As to barely Cs, I can't afford to lose more points! My life is way too complicated right now, I barely have time for anything between hero duties, family, friends and school, and apparently I can't even keep up with school! What else have I missed?

Mom and Dad grounded me for the next two days, no hanging out with friends until my homework is done, but Mom is helping me with the essay, so at least I can focus. I don't want to disappoint them. Dad wanted to ground me for three, but Mom said something about important plans on Tuesday they could never make me miss. I wanted to ask what they were talking about, but got distracted.

Two weeks ago,

I totally skipped out on Luka today! I feel so bad, we were hanging out at his house, but then the news came on with an emergency alert about an akuma and I came up with the lamest excuse to leave! It's so embarrassing, I had to tell him I had cramps, but he didn't get grossed out or awkward, he just said Juleka has supplies in the bathroom and offered to get me a hot water bottle, and he understood if I wanted to go home. That made me feel even worse about lying.

I just wish I didn't have to deal with all these secrets! I just want to tell him the truth, I know I can trust him, he's proven that as Viperion, but… I don't want to put him in more danger than he already is. I couldn't stand to see him hurt.

Marinette read backwards through her diary, flipping through the pages, confirming with her own eyes, her own hand-written accounts of events that…. Just didn't exist in her diary. She never wrote down that she made plans with Luka to visit the museum the day they apparently planned it, when she flipped back to the date that the school project was apparently handed out, she hadn't mentioned it at all on the list of homework she included each day.

And she was meticulous about writing everything down each night, and even throughout the day! It was how she had always organized her life, for years now!

So why did she suddenly have these gaps in her memory, and nothing in her diary to show for it?

At least she knew she wasn't somehow imagining it.

There was no diary entry she could have reread, no sticky note taped to her school binder, no record at all of any of her missed time.

If it hadn't been obvious that her loved ones had experienced the lost time, Marinette might have seriously considered that an akuma had put a spell over the city⏤ but no one else had lost time.

That meant it was only Marinette effected.

And she had only noticed problems with her memory after Master Fu had transferred his title of Guardian to her.

Had… Had Master Fu done the ritual wrong? He himself had admitted he wasn't a true Guardian, didn't really know the proper teachings, had gotten some scraps of vague knowledge and then had to improvise for a hundred years⏤ not to mention he had been under attack, at the point of defeat, when he transferred his Guardianship.

Was Marinette going to start losing all of her memories because she wasn't a real, proper Guardian? Because a spell had gone wrong? Because…

Because…

Because another adult had proven once again she couldn't rely on them, on anyone to protect her?

Tears fell down Mariette's face as she slowly flipped back to the most current page, the one she had filled in, right before she tried to go to bed at 10:26pm, already yesterday as the sun was going to rise in a scant few hours.

The entry was the shortest she had ever written.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

#Walks writes #Plural! Marinette #ml #Miraculous Ladybug #Marinette dupain-cheng #Adrien salt #chat noir salt #Marinette deserves better #ml fanfiction #fanfiction #please feel free to reblog