#idk how to explain it but it felt like a real musical | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eee-lordy · 4 months

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Hiiii! Can you write about jacob elordi x fem reader who is in charge of the makeup and outfits on saltburn or elvis?

Maybe there is a video going viral where he is looking at her (WITH THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES HAHSHAJDVDSJ IM GONNA EAT HIM) while she is doing his make up and she is clueless, yk those videos where the music is lana del rey and the caption is like "me when im literaly obsessed with her" or "when hes completely in love with u>>>>>"

And when that goes viral, the cast teases him and they go on a date?

Idk i think its cute :3

───※ ·❆· ※───

You were never one to get star struck. In the year and a half you'd been professionally applying makeup to the mugs of many stars, you'd been unfazed by celebrities captivating auras. You hardly blushed when Chris Pine tried asking you out as he sat in your makeup chair. You'd laughed in understandable assurance as Billie Eilish apologized for almost knocking your powder kit from your grasp; when her brother burst in the room to surprise her. You saw your clients as just that, people who trusted you to properly apply blush and fake scars.

But all the composure you'd been proud to claim went out the window when you'd been assigned to work with the cast of Sofia Coppola new film. You hadn't expected to lose your cool. In fact, you'd been rolling your eyes as the hair stylist that shared your caravan had droned on and on about this new Elordi fellow and how dreamy he was. Some of the other workers in the hair and makeup department parroted her yearning for the guy. But you were certain you'd remain calm and cool in this supposed deities presence.

And then he sat down in your chair. And he looked up to you with an intriguing set of droopy dark eyes. And you knew Jacob Elordi was about to be a real problem for you.

It wasn't his fame. You weren't swept up by his essence because of the collective crowd on the internet drooling over the guy. It wasn't even his magnetism. Because he did have a lot of that, you wavered it was necessary to survive fame. But it was more the way he would look up at you from that make up chair. With those dumb stupid big beautiful eyes. And his smile that followed. And then the infuriating way he'd start conversations with you, those first few days on set.

"What'd you have for breakfast this morning?" Jacob would wonder, watching as you readied a sponge. You would answer and ask for his in return. He would mention stopping by a cafe earlier and go on to ask you where you grew up and if you liked it there and what the best book you've ever read was called.

"You've got to stop chatting away, makes it hard to do your touch up's." You'd smile, reaching out to adjust Jacobs perfect fucking face so you could work on his brows.

"Sorry." He breathed out, seemingly genuinely guilty. He went on explaining himself still, slowly as you continued to do your job. "Don't like awkward silence. Or bullshit small talk. Getting to know you seemed like the safest route. Since you'll be covering the dark circles under my eye's this whole shoot."

You laughed in understanding before announcing that you got it, and waved over the hairdresser on site today.

"Wait, before you go, that book you mentioned..." Jacob pointed your way as you turned for closing up your kit of brushes. Then you watched as the guy wrestled his cellphone from his jacket pocket. "Here," Jacob said, extending the device your way. "Write the title in my notes app. I will forget, but I don't want too. It sounded properly readable."

"Oh." You turned your lips down in a twisted grin of surprise. As you took the device from Jacob's grasp, you felt a surge of gratification that the guy trusted you enough with his phone let alone wanted to read a book you mention not having read since uni.

Not missing the way the hairdresser rolled her eyes, you grinned and found Jacobs notes app with ease, straining not to glance beyond your means. With the press of a few buttons you wrote down the title, and fought off the impulsive urge to include your very own phone number as well. That would be embarrassing, knowing full well this man would never call or text or probably even dare to glance your way beyond the makeup chair.

///

The next few weeks went by the same. Jacob would yammer away until you almost had to hold his mouth shut to finish his makeup. And you would fill the silence by telling stories of your own, because he'd mentioned he wasn't fond of silence and you knew your job went beyond applying lip liner, it was also to keep celebrities happy as royalty.

And all the while you blinked away thoughts of how funny he was. How beautiful Jacob was. You wouldn't let yourself realize he was exactly your type. You wouldn't let yourself dream that you might be his. You simply relished the times you made him laugh. Once you made him laugh so hard he cried, tear tracks ruining the powder you'd only just applied.

The hairdresser who was the leader of fawning over Jacob as soon as he left the room had taken to frowning in your direction most days. You reckoned it was because she'd never been able to make him laugh that hard, or at all, ever. And the stories she told him when he asked her to seemed to lose his interest halfway through every time. Try as Jacob might, you saw his eyes glaze over as the hairstylist droned on about her retirement plan or the grocery list she'd put together that day.

After acknowledging her sorry excuse for conversation Jacob would stop you from packing up and heading to lunch so he could ask you for more books to read, more films to watch, more stories from you. Then his assistant would interrupt, or he'd be called to set and you'd be left to head to the craft table with dangerous feelings of lust and intrigue to push away. You would not let this boy break you of your career long streak of professionalism, damn it.

///

One night, in the middle of a week break from set, you spent an evening scrolling mindlessly. When a tiktok with Jacob's name in the tags popped up, you scrolled away at the speed of light. You didn't let yourself linger too long on posts with him there, not wanting to know anything good bad or otherwise so long as you were assigned to work with him on this project. But it wasn't long before another tiktok popped up featuring the guy in a very familiar setting. He was too famous at this point. You watched as you saw leaked footage from behind the scenes of Priscilla, but weren't too shocked. The stars of the film were occasionally being interviewed by publicists between takes to document their experience, beginning to promote the film.

And maybe you let yourself keep watching out of a sense of entitlement, you'd been working on this set. You could watch a video of Jacob from work, right? You couldn't tear your eyes from him no matter how hard you tried now anyway. You watched as the person holding the camera zoomed in on the guy while he adjusted his suit jacket. You watched as he seemed to talk to the costars at his side. You watched as he looked up and smiled. And you couldn't help but melt a little at the sight, he seemed so happy, so at ease. And then you watched as Jacob's grin widened as he waved someone closer. And much to your horror, you saw yourself step into frame.

You remembered that day, where you waited on the side lines to fix Cailee's eyeliner. While the director was storming up a new camera angle, Jacob waved you over to mention the last chapter of your favorite book he'd almost finished reading. He was laughing over a bit that you'd warned him about the week before. And you were laughing over how excited he was about it, finally having someone to gush over your favorite plot with.

Now, huddled beneath the blankets of your bed, you slammed your phone down at your side, bewildered to know someone had caught your interaction on camera. Raddled to have just seen Jacob lighting up at the sight of you. Angry at yourself for hopping you'd read his body language in a way that suggested he really liked you that much.

When you picked your phone back up, you watched the candid moment over and over, trying to debunk Jacob's smile. Trying to convince yourself he was only being friendly, only cared because he had to find someone to mingle with during down beats.

And then you read the comments.

"If Jacob smiled at me like that, I would die."

"Imagine making him laugh like that she's so lucky."

"Who is she??" One comment read. "Her last name will be Elordi if he hasn't married her already, calling it." Someone replied.

You shouldn't have read the comments.

///

When you were due back on set you swallowed away the excitement bubbling up in you at the prospect of seeing Jacob again. This was so unlike you, to be awaiting the arrival of your client with an embarrassing giddiness. As you reminded yourself that this was your job and Jacob was simply a guest in your makeup chair- the man himself eased into the caravan, ready to get ready for the day.

"Hey, you! I had a bunch of points earned up to get two free coffees so I brought you one. I remember you said you like almond milk so I asked for that." Jacob was all smiles as he extended a latte to you. Awe fuck.

"Thank you, Jacob." You struggled not to sigh with angst as you accepted his very generous surprise. Luckily, he seemed none the wiser that you'd answered through gritted teeth. He just kept smiling as he headed to your chair.

"Oh, me first today lovie. Need to start your dye straight off, you're little makeup girlfriend will have to wait." The hairdresser announced, daring to grab Jacob by his sleeve, yanking him toward her end of the trailer. The other workers around rolled their eyes, sick of her endless commentary. You bit your tongue as you leaned against the counter, shaking your head when a coworker scoffed in the hairdresser's direction. Luckily, Cailee waltz in, ready for you before anyone else. You thanked God for the distraction, readying your brow pencil and chatted to the girl about her break from set.

All the while, your least favorite coworkers voice demanded to be the loudest in the room. She made everyone listen to some boring ass story and practically whinnied when Jacob got up to trade Cailee places.

"No offence, you're fine and all, just don't have hair as silky smooth as Jacob's." The hairdresser told Cailee but made sure her comment was loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh wait, silly me,"

As Jacob settled in the makeup chair and began to ask if the drink he'd brought you was good, the hairdresser of your nightmares shoved her way between you and the person you were meant to be working on.

"I left of a bobby pin, how'd I forget," She droned in an annoying pitch, nearly shoving you over in her attempt to get closer to Jacob.

"Can you please get out of my space?" You called, annoyed that she was pushing you away from your station without a single polite excuse.

"Can you please stop being such a jealous bitch?" The hairdresser whipped to face you with a manic smile.

"Oh my God?" You almost laughed in shock at her comment when another coworker dared to reach out and pulled her away, and out of the trailer. Another hairdresser apologized to the room for the previous girl's behavior and stepped up to lead charge of Cailee's wig.

With no time to shake the rage that had been born in you, you pushed it down, biting your lip hard as you went about finding the right sponge for Jacob's foundation.

"Are you okay?" He asked, seemingly worried. And that pissed you off too. Why'd he have to act like he cared so much? Why'd he have to be so damn wonderful?

"I'm fine. Thank you again for the coffee, it...is kind of bitter but it was a really sweet gesture, I swear. Close your eye's please." You responded as calm and cool as possible.

"Bitter... sweet..." Jacob winked, just for you to see. It was the best thing you'd ever witness. And the worst all the same. You were sure you blushed. You tilted his chin and struggling to suppress how much you'd miss when you didn't get to be this close to him. He stayed quiet as you finished his face, and so did you. When his makeup was done, almost everyone else had left the trailer. The last remaining beautician was walking out as you'd closed the case to your kit.

"I thought you didn't like awkward silence." You dared to mention, as Jacob stood to leave. It wasn't like you'd thought to ask. It was just a thought that ended up blurted out. And then you were bold enough still to look up and right at the guy with those perfectly shaped eyes to find he'd already been staring right at you.

"S'not so awkward with you."

You really wish he hadn't said that. You really wished you'd never prompted him too. You really wished he wasn't still standing there looking across the features of your face like he was waiting on you to respond. There was a knock on the door just in time, and a voice calling for Jacob to hurry to set.

"I'll see you after lunch, right?" Jacob wondered as he moved toward the door. You muttered something like "Yeah sure," as you turned to start collecting your things. As far as Jacob knew you were headed to the craft table. But as your feet started marching out of the trailer, you found yourself headed toward the manager of the crew you'd been hired in with. You explained to her that you really thought it was best you turned in your resignation.

You'd never dared yourself to tread the line during work. Never been so enamored with someone you were meant to be professional with. It wasn't in your best interest to see how far this went. And it wasn't in Jacobs best interest that you kept lingering around distracting him with stories and novel suggestions.

So, on a decided whim, you packed your things, swallowed frustrated tears, and headed home for good.

///

You let yourself be mad once your front door was shut and locked. You threw away the stupid coffee Jacob bought you. You turned the telly off and tossed the remote toward the hardwood when Euphoria came on. You muttered and cursed and slammed cabinets as you made a carb heavy comfort meal and called your best friend.

The day went on and turned to night as you tried to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You began getting ready for bed, talking yourself into sleeping off all the weird feelings and events that had transpired today. Tomorrow, you'd find a new job and make sure to decline any with that one awful hairdressers name on the list of beauticians.

As you sat on the edge of your bed and set a reminder for yourself to job hunt tomorrow afternoon, a notification interrupted your typing.

Instagram was alerting you that one certain Jacob Elordi was sending you a fucking message. He'd followed you a couple weeks ago, when you handed him your phone to show him a picture of your beloved childhood pet. He scrolled away from it and found your handle to promptly pull up on his very own Instagram, following you with a smile.

Your eyes widened and your thumb worked faster than your brain, clicking the popup before you could talk yourself out of it. Oh, shit now he was going to know you opened his fucking stupid ass message. You really wished you hadn't met this boy. He wasn't even here and he was torturing your every thought.

"You were NOT there after lunch as promised. Call me? xx"

Before your eyes displayed a row of numbers that if pressed would call Jacob Elordi's cell phone. You tried really hard to talk yourself out of it. But being away from him for the last ten hours had really done a number on your heart. It missed him more than your brain was afraid to admit. Your thumb clicked the numbers. Your phone started to ring.

After one buzz he answered.

"I got off set to hear you'd quit and left me to bear that horrid hairdresser without you? Was the coffee really that bad?" Jacob's voice crackled through the line, soft and saccharine. You chuckled morosely at his coffee joke before responding.

"No pleasant greeting. What if it wasn't me calling? What if it was some crazy fan girl?" You dared to venture.

"Are you saying you're not a fan of mine?"

You wanted to assure him that you were probably his biggest, but sighed in place of a response, struggling to choose your words.

"What happened? That hairdresser should be fired. You shouldn't've left." Jacob spoke, as you watched the traffic out your window and relished the sound of his voice in your ear.

"It..." You couldn't help it. You couldn't hide it any longer. "It wasn't really her. I quit because of you, Jacob."

"Me? I- I'm sorry I thought we-" He sounded too worried, and you realized you'd spoken a little too cryptically.

"Not because you did anything wrong." You hurried to explain, interrupting his unnecessary apology. "It's me, not you."

"Is this a break up? I never even got to ask you on a proper date." He laughed a humorless laugh.

"That's the thing." You said. "I like you way more than I should've ever let myself. It's too unprofessional for me to work with you and have these feelings. I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be telling you this. Everyone treats you like a piece of meat, I hate that I-"

"So... what I'm hearing..." Jacob's voice rose a bit as he interrupted you, catching your attention off guard. "Is that I can actually ask you on a proper date? And this doesn't have to be a break up at all."

"Oh! I- wait are you joking?" You blurted, shocked by the tone of his voice and the fact that it seemed like Jacob Elordi was asking you out.

"I like you too, dummy. I've been doing my damnedest to make that clear. You know I don't just follow every wardrobe artist on Instagram and bring camera men cafe treats. I used my free coffee on you! I'm so sorry it was no good though."

"It wasn't the worst coffee ever." You smiled, feeling a calm and hopeful buzz wash over you.

"Well, let me take you on a proper date, for a proper cup of coffee, and talk you back on set."

"I can date you, or be your makeup artist, but I will not allow myself to do both. I have a very strict moral compass as a working lady."

"I'll choose the first option then by a long shot." You could hear Jacob's smile in the tone of his voice. You let him ramble a little longer about the day he'd had and how bad he felt that you'd been moved to quit. He asked you to meet him at the cafe across from the set during lunch tomorrow, and you promised you would in fact show up without a doubt this time.

Fuck finding a new job tomorrow. You were going on an absolute dream date with Jacob. But you were most definitely ordering your own coffee.

#thanks nonny! this was really fun to write #jacob elordi fanfic #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi x fem!reader #jacob elordi

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runningfrom2am · 6 months

Text

leveling the playing field XI

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

masterlists // nav // requests

a/n: nothing much to say other than thank you guys and i hope you like it :)

next part

"You can't call me that here!" You hiss, taking the final steps out into the summer nights breeze.

"Never mind that, what are you doing here?" Coriolanus asks as soon as the door to the back of the building shuts behind you, leaving the two of you alone in the quiet alley behind the Hob.

You groan, dragging your hands over your face. "I had nowhere to go."

"Well, I... what happened?"

"Does it really matter?" You just shake your head looking up at him now, face red with anger. "If we're gonna talk, how about we talk about how you tried to drag me down to hell with you, huh? How about we talk about you showing up after trying to ruin my life and kissing me like I'm some kind of object to you! After all this time! Let's talk about that!"

Coryo takes a sharp breath in, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "You're not an object." He says, a hint of disgust in his voice, upset that you would even imply that he felt that way.

"Funnily enough, that is the bottom of my list of concerns right now!" You laugh dryly. "I thought we were friends! I thought you cared! And maybe that was stupid of me but don't come back now saying that you do." Your narrowed eyes are rimmed with tears now, and he can see that you're hurt despite you trying to shield it in anger.

"We are friends, I-"

"No, Coriolanus, we aren't, because friends don't do that!"

"Will you stop fucking interrupting me!" He shouts, making you jump. He's fed up with you always having to have the last word. "For once, just one time, will you let me explain?"

You just stare at him, jaw grit as you look up at him. You've never looked softer, your clothes and your hair are so loose and freeing and unlike you and you've somehow never looked more like yourself.

"I'm sorry. Okay?" He says, taking a hesitant step closer to you.

"Is that all you've got?" You scoff, nodding to yourself and pushing past him to walk back inside.

He can't let you go again, he just can't. He grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

"Y/N, listen, I'm sorry. I regretted it the moment I said it, I shouldn't have pulled you into that but they already knew and I just wanted to be able to help you." Internally you roll your eyes, relaxing your arm so he knows you won't run. You'll hear him out. "All I wanted was for you to come with me, I thought they would ship us off together."

"Me? As a peacekeeper? Un-fucking-likely." You reply bitterly. "Did you think that through for even a second before you decided that I would be better off with you? Or were you just scared of being alone?"

The question makes him pause, which was enough hesitation for you to pull your arm away and start walking off toward the street. "Tigris wanted me to tell you they love you, by the way!" You call back over your shoulder, turning the corner and disappearing out of his view.

You walk around the building and back to the front entrance, hoping you could lose him in the crowd if he decides to follow you. You were no longer in any mood to dance, that's for sure, so you would just wait for the show to end in the back where you first talked to Lucy Gray again. You push through the abundance of people dancing, the music blaring in your ears. You make it to the desolate hallway, attempting to gather yourself before you really start to cry.

"Y/N?" You hear someone call from behind you, and you turn at the use of your real name. It didn't sound like Coryo, or any of the Covey band.

"Sejanus!" You squeal, running back toward him and tackling him in a hug. "God, I have never been happier to see your face in my life." You sigh, resting your chin on his shoulder.

"Likewise." He chuckles, rubbing your back. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm great." You grin, taking a step back to talk to him face-to-face instead.

"We have to find Coriolanus, he'll be thrilled to see you." He says, looking over his shoulder to see if he could spot the blonde anywhere in the crowd.

"Ugh." You groan, rolling your eyes. "No, I saw him."

He snaps his head back, looking at you confused. "You don't seem happy." He observes, stating the obvious.

"Tell me, Sejanus," You muse, resting a hand on your hip as you shift your weight. "If you had someone you perceived as more than a friend take the liberty of framing you for something that could cost you your whole life when they knew you were innocent, would you forgive them if their only apology was a kiss?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. You knew you were stretching the truth, but Coriolanus had done the same thing, clearly, so what was the harm in wanting Sejanus on your side?

"I... what? No, he didn't- he didn't tell me that." He looks shocked, looking back again to see if he could see him.

"Well. That's what just happened, weirdly enough." You laugh, shrugging to try and portray that you don't really care much more than that.

"I- um... We were told you were sick." He changes the subject now, something you're happy about because one more thought about Coryo and you might be in tears; or you might start throwing things.

"Sick? No." You shake your head. "I ran because if I hadn't, I'd be six feet under in the Capitol cemetery by now, no doubt. That or I'd be lacking a tongue."

"Oh, wow." He doesn't know what to say, so you just hum in agreement. "Coriolanus almost convinced me you were dead, but I knew better. They couldn't kill you if they tried, I don't think."

You chuckle, shrugging slightly. "Well, yeah. So that's been my life recently. Now I'm staying with Lucy Gray." You explain. "But what about you? You follow out here Coryo too?"

"More or less." He nods, a slight smile on his face. "Hey, uh, I've got to go, got some business to take care of but we'll get together again soon, okay? I'm really glad you're alive."

You nod, hugging him again. "Yeah, of course. I'm staying at this ugly, old grey house at the edge of the seam, past the end of the road. There's goats out back, you can't miss it. You'd think there's nothing out there, but trust me, we'll be there. Come by sometime when you're free, okay?"

"Will do." He agrees, hugging you back for just a moment. "I'll see you soon, Miss Sage." He teases, giving you a polite bow before turning to return to the party. You furrow your brow a bit as he almost directly approaches Billy Taupe, Lucy Gray's ex alongside one of his scummy friends, but you decide to mind your business. Sejanus was always too nice to everyone for his own good, anyway.

"Y/N's here." Coriolanus states, both him and Sejanus helping to carry their intoxicated bunkmates back to the barracks. "You see her?"

"I did, yeah, I talked to her." He nods, eyes straight ahead as their shoes crunch over the gravel.

"You talked to her? When?"

"A little after her performance, she was heading to this back room. Seemed awfully upset."

Coryo sighs. "What did she tell you?"

"That you betrayed her." Sejanus answers simply, adjusting his friend's arm over his shoulder. "That she was going to be killed or worse if she stayed."

"That's not-" Coryo thinks it over. "I didn't betray her, Sejanus. We know one baseline thing about Y/N Y/L/N and it's that she is, if nothing else, dramatic."

"Really? I wouldn't describe her that way." Sejanus argues subtly. "She's outspoken, maybe slightly obnoxious at times, but I feel like I am too. The one thing I know for sure about her is that she's not a liar, Coriolanus."

Coryo doesn't know if he's more angry about Sejanus calling you 'obnoxious' or framing it so nicely that you don't keep your mouth shut when you probably should. You were his girl, his. No one should talk about you like that but him- praise you or critique you all the same. You didn't know it yet, necessarily, but you were his to protect and to fix, if need be. You were rough around the edges, that's for certain, but you would mellow out eventually if you ever forgave him. "She wouldn't let me explain."

"Oh, was this before or after you kissed her as an apology?" Sejanus matches the heavy statement with a laugh and Coryo rolls his eyes at his response.

"I just, I needed her to know I did it because I care. I thought she was dead."

"Okay, well, she told me where she's staying. Told me to stop by on a day off." Sejanus admits. "Maybe you should come with me."

"Maybe." He agrees.

It was another week of torturous loneliness before Coriolanus was graced with a day off, and not even so much graced as he had to trade with one of his bunkmates to have the same day off as Sejanus. As soon as they ate they grabbed a couple bags of ice to bring with them to help you and your new friends beat the heat- a peace offering, of sorts.

The early August sun beat down on their backs as they walked through the Seam, a decrepit and rundown residential area that Coryo had no doubt had never seen a single air conditioner in all its days. There's no way you were happy here. Even with the lightness of his t-shirt and the early hour, he still had to fight the urge to remove it and instead drape it over his head to shade his skin from the sun.

"There's nothing down here. She lied to you." Coryo mutters as the already crumbled road falls into nothing more than a trail.

"Y/N said we had to keep going past the road." Sejanus says, looking back at him over his shoulder. "You want to hate her so bad, but you can't."

"I certainly can." Coryo grumbles in denial. "She's giving me the runaround. Obviously, she gave you fake directions-"

"Are you sure about that?" His friend replies smugly, looking through the overgrown trees ahead at a small grey house circled in by a white fence that hadn't seen a wash in years.

Coriolanus doesn't say anything, mentally rolling his eyes at being proven wrong. "Alright, go knock, then." He gestures for his friend to go ahead.

"This is your big plan to win her over? Hide in the bushes while I go in?"

"No. I'm just sure she lied and a local drunk is about to open the door with a gun pointed at your head."

"Suit yourself." Sejanus replies lightheartedly, practically skipping up to the door and giving it a few gentle knocks before taking a step back.

It's only a few moments and lots of chatter from inside before the door is swung open. "Hello there, what can we do ya' for?" Lucy Gray grins, and Sejanus looks pointedly over his shoulder at Coryo.

"Hi, I'm Sejanus, I'm a friend of Y/N's from back home." He explains and she smiles.

"Of course! I thought I recognized you, come on in, she's out in the back but you can just pass right through." She lets him in, looking at Coryo standing just outside of the fence line.

"You coming, Coriolanus?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as she holds the door, leaning against the frame.

He plasters on a smile, nodding and walking up to her on the porch that he's shocked doesn't collapse under his feet. "How are you?" She grins at him. "It's good to see you."

"You too." He nods. "I'm glad to see you made it home safe."

"Hey, well, welcome to the club." She chuckles, closing the door behind him. "Y/N's just out back." She points toward the back door. "But she's not too keen about seeing you, you know."

"So I've heard." Coryo sighs. "The feeling is mutual."

"Then why are you here?" She asks her previous mentor calmly. He's stumped by this, unsure how to respond. "Well, if it helps, I'm real glad you're here. I missed you." Lucy Gray promises, leading him to the back door and swinging it open.

Your head turns at the appearance of Coryo's silhouette on the back stairs. You internally groan, of course Sejanus would bring him. "And you brought Coriolanus." You smile bitterly at your friend, sliding an ice cube from the bag across your bare collarbones over the shirt you had now cut the sleeves off completely to turn into a tube top.

"Yeah, well, I figured you might want to actually talk." Sejanus offers, raising an eyebrow at you.

"We wanted to make sure you were doing okay here. Living up to your high standards." Coryo replies for you.

"Do I look uncomfortable to you?" You ask, placing a hand on your hip. "Well, now you've seen it all. Thanks for coming, Coriolanus, but I'm clearly happy here, so you can be on your way. Don't you have a rebel to shoot at?"

"Hey, woah-" Sejanus chuckles, holding his hands out to you in mock surrender. "Y/N, we just wanted to visit. I know I speak for both of us when I say that we've missed you."

You sigh, rolling your eyes slightly. You were nothing if not polite, raised to be a flawless hostess in your own home. "Alright. Sit." You gesture to the patch of grass next to you, by the little garden you're digging into to start some fall flowers. You've always wanted to try a garden, but your family paid people to do that and you didn't have the time, so why would you?

Lucy Gray and Sejanus do most of the talking, and you try to avoid looking up much from the dirt you're digging up and the small seeds you're planting. Coriolanus is sitting too close to Lucy Gray for your comfort, but you've been working on your temper, and until he showed back up it was going really well.

"Lucy Gray!" Billy Taupe calls from the front of the house, drawing all of your attention. You'd seen more of him than you have cared to since you've been here, he just won't leave her alone.

"Oh lord, here we go." She huffs, standing up and brushing off her skirt.

"I'll come with you." Sejanus offers quickly, standing as well. You're reminded of how, apparently, he and Billy Taupe know each other but you still can't understand why. The two of them disappear around the side of the house, and you're left alone with Coriolanus.

You keep a straight face, continuing with your cycle. Dig a hole, move the dirt, bury the seed, water it, repeat.

"What are you planting?" He decides to break the silence, moving a little closer to you and leaning back on his palms.

"Flowers, some fruit." You mumble back, keeping your focus on your hands.

"Isn't it a bit late in the season?" He asks, head tilted as he watches you.

"Raspberries are perennials." You reply plainly. "And roses bloom until late fall, do they not?"

"They do." He nods in confirmation, smiling a little to himself. Raspberries and roses together. He wonders if you even know what you're doing, or if this was a subconscious yearning you didn't know you had; to be with him in every form.

"Then there's no harm in planting them now." You say, stopping to take a quick break. You lean back on your calves where you were kneeling, grabbing the ice bag that is now mostly melted to drink out of. You hold it out to Coryo when you're done, shaking it when he hesitates to take it from your hand. "Drink. It's hot, you'll get dehydrated quickly even just sitting out here."

Coryo takes it at that, looking away quickly when he catches that glimpse of pity in your eyes, the same look that plagued him in the weeks leading up the the games and after he thought you died. He hated it until then, but now, maybe it wasn't so bad. At least you were looking at him, and it seemed like it was some kind of inherent need you had to take care of him. The thought of that made his stomach flip.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." You say suddenly, catching him so off guard he almost spits out his water. District life really must have been changing you, and it was worse than he imagined. It wasn't just the loose-fitting clothes that were one stitch away from falling off of your frame, however breathtaking they may somehow look. Now, Y/N Y/L/N was in the business of issuing apologies? Someone call a doctor. "I shouldn't have said... that. It was cruel."

Coryo nods slightly, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I figured you didn't mean it."

"You were lucky they had already decided my guilt. I would have torn your head off by now, otherwise." That's the Y/N I know.

"Sejanus told me they were going to execute you."

"Well, not necessarily." You sigh, pulling your skirt back out of the way before digging your hands back into the dirt. "It wasn't stated, but it was service that was suggested. Possibly nursing, probably under my father back home. When I climbed out my window, they were discussing the possibility of having me turned into an Avox. Highbottom said I knew too much, but I know my father would rather shamelessly bury me than have his oldest turned into a symbol of rebellion." You explain, now seeing no harm in telling him the full story.

"What do you know, anyway?" Coriolanus asks. It had been bothering him for a long time, and up until a week ago, he thought you took those secrets to the grave.

"That he and my father are proprietors of the largest drug ring Panem has ever seen." You answer simply, a smug smile taking over your features as you press some dirt carefully over a planted seed. "The main storage is in a secret room in our wine cellar, an old bunker from the war. I stumbled into it when I was thirteen-ish. I mean, you wouldn't believe everything they had down there. I haven't seen anything like it. Actual gallons upon gallons of morphling, other addictive crap that'll ruin your life, even weed." You giggle, sitting back again to gesture with your hand how big everything is.

Coriolanus can feel his eyes going wide at your confession, and he stammers. "I- wow, uh..."

"Come on," You chuckle, tilting your head at him like it was obvious. "Doctors don't have that much power unless they're a game maker Like Gaul, or have that money to start. They make money, sure, but not like that."

"Well," He swallows, nodding slightly at the intake of information. "That explains you being able to walk all over Highbottom for so long." He chuckles. It all makes so much sense now, how both you and Highbottom have a seemingly endless supply of morphling on you, and your father had a decently sized sought-after medical practice, but nothing that could add up to the amount of power and influence he possessed back home. "And the weed you brought to Livia's seventeenth birthday party."

You laugh. "No one even knew what to do with it- we were all so damn sheltered." You hum, matching his smile. "Still, don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." He shakes his head.

"You sure? Because last I recall, you did snitch on me, Snow. And frame me, if I’m remembering correctly…"

Coryo sighs. "I know, I know... But I did mean what I said. I just- it was stupid, but I thought I could protect you. Genuinely."

You don't seem mad anymore, just smiling at him. "I know." You say, voice so sickly sweet and soft in a way he had only ever heard from you once before; when he was on the verge of a panic attack in the arena. You had told him that soon it would all be over, simultaneously you were right but you also couldn't have been more wrong.

You needed him to believe all was forgiven, and the small look of satisfaction on his face proves to you that it has worked. From here, the games were back on.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , @lauravanderbooben20 , @dry0campa , @luclue , @lokidala , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world @nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey , @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just can't tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

#tbosas #tbosas x reader #tbosas fic #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #coryo snow #the hunger games #thg series #thg #thg fanfic #thg fanfiction

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professor-beaker · 11 days

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(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #arospec #aro problems #aro #ace #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #lgbt pride #religion #literally just a rant #i am not expecting notes on this at all

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mando-fando · 11 months

Text

The Other Man

Okay, here's my FIRST FIC in ages. I wrote it in a very specific style bc of the ~vibe~

Hope you like it!

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Wife!Reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: smut, established relationship, (idk if there's more pls tell me?)

The love story of Mr. and Mrs. O’Hara

You’re Gabriella’s mother and Miguel’s wife. A few weeks ago, things were a little off with your husband; you wrote it off until now…

Your heart pounded in your chest as you set a timer on your phone and waited. You thought of your darling daughter, and her bubbly, beautiful personality. You thought of your family, and how arguably perfect your life was thanks to your husband’s dedication and tenacity.

You were panicking, on the verge of tears as the timer silently counted down on your phone screen. You thought of your husband. Your real husband.

13yearsago

Miguel was the first person you’d met at your college orientation. A tall lanky kid who stepped onto the campus tour bus at the last minute and had nowhere to sit but next to you. You felt yourself fall for him instantly when his eyes met your own.

You both chatted awkwardly like teenagers do; you mentioned your majors (he was genetics and you were communications), you talked about your high schools, your friends, and anything else your distracted minds could come up with.

You mentioned that science wasn’t your strong suit, and Miguel suggested taking a science class together so he could be your lab partner. You settled on chemistry, and looked forward to starting classes in the fall.

You exchanged numbers and texted through the rest of the summer. By the time the semester started, you were attached at the hip.

The week that you moved into the dorms, he brought you a bouquet of carnations (you were allergic to roses) and asked you to be his girlfriend right in front of everyone. You said yes with bright pink cheeks.

That night, when all the new freshmen were out enjoying welcoming activities, you and Miguel lost your virginities to each other with soft music playing in the background. You’d heard from your friends that the first time was awful, but you two were slow with each other. You knew you’d chosen the right guy, and you couldn’t imagine sharing the experience with anyone else.

It rained on the first day of classes. Torrential downpour, and you walked into the library together soaked and giggling to take a picture in front of your school’s “Welcome Freshmen!” backdrop.

That photo was framed and hanging above your bed like many others you’d taken over the years.

The chemistry class was hard. Your hardest class by far, but Miguel was there with you every week. He came over to your dorm after the lab to explain everything in detail as many times as you needed. He’d stay late and you’d share cheap pizza and watch movies.

Your friends started calling you Mrs. O’Hara long before you were actually married. You two were the one constant couple among them. You and Miguel would go for ice cream with them after every fresh heartbreak. You reminded them that love exists because you two had it. They’d always lick their wounds and get back out there, thanking you both for your encouragement.

When sophomore year rolled around, your parents offered to rent you an apartment. You begged for them to let Miguel live with you (they loved him of course), and, to your surprise, they said yes.

In between classes, you and Miguel lived in domestic bliss. You had no idea that building furniture, grocery shopping late at night, and decorating could be so fun. He made it so much more enjoyable.

You learned so much about him, sometimes swearing that you knew him better than you knew yourself. You loved how his brow twitched in his sleep, and you loved how he was considerate enough to cover your face with the blanket before he turned on the bedroom light. He made your heart melt every single day, and you couldn’t imagine loving someone more.

You stayed up late on Sundays with him and proofread his papers. He was brilliant, but he couldn’t string together a sentence on paper to save his life.

“Do you even know what a comma is!?” You’d asked as you aggressively hit the backspace button on his laptop.

“Do you know what an autosome is?” He replied in a sarcastic voice, ruffling your hair. (he always ruffled your hair.)

You rolled your eyes and finished proofreading his paper. After he submitted it, he closed both of your laptops and bent you over the table. Your pajama pants were around your ankles as you moaned into the cheap veneer.

Miguel fucked you on every surface in that apartment: the shower, bent over the counters and the table, against the wall, on the floor. It was your space together, and he was ready to claim the 600 sqft and your body for himself.

God, you missed that apartment.

A year later, you took your first vacation alone together to Mexico. You’d never been, but he’d gone a few times when he was younger. You felt secure with him as he easily switched between English and Spanish, and you listened intently as he showed you the places that he remembered visiting years prior.

You walked along the beach, hand in hand watching the sunset. He was explaining something about the tides, and you smiled wide at him and then looked at the pinky-purple sky.

When you looked back, he was on one knee with a ring box. You swear your heart stopped for a moment.

“Yes! Are you kidding me!? Yes!” you nearly screeched at the top of your lungs. He swung you around and dipped you into a kiss. It felt like a scene from a movie. (The only thing he hadn’t thought of was a photographer, but some passersby took a few candid photos and sent them to you.)

A year later, you graduated in May and had your wedding in June. The wedding felt like something out of a fairytale.

Your mother had been insistent on every last detail being perfect, and you were so grateful for her meticulousness as you walked down the aisle. The sun was beginning to set as you said your vows, and you nearly died of embarrassment when he tore your garter off with his teeth in front of everyone.

Now, Miguel was your husband.

Your husband whose eyes were brimming with tears as you walked down the aisle.

Your husband who hugged your parents as if they were his own.

Your husband who looked at you as if you hung the moon.

Your husband.

A few months later, you started your first job and Miguel started grad school.

You’d come home in your blazers and slacks and heels, and he’d give you a particular look.

“What are you looking at?” You asked one day while making dinner.

“Nothing, I just think it’s hot that I’m married to a sexy businesswoman,” he grinned.

He especially loved when you wore tights and that little black dress. (He usually tore them off of you when you got home and promised to buy you new ones.)

Six months into your new job, you called in sick.

“Are you alright?” he sat on your side of the bed and pet your hair gently.

“I just feel so nauseous. It must be something I ate. Do you feel nauseous?”

He shook his head. “Do you want me to get you anything? I could stay home from classes to take care of you.”

“No, school is first. I’ll be okay.” you squeezed his hand.

He kissed you on the forehead and left you a glass of water on your nightstand.

After throwing up the contents of your stomach twice over, a thought crossed your mind.

You ran to the store and picked up two pregnancy tests.

You practically ripped them out of their boxes in your bathroom.

You sat and waited, worrying about what your husband would say.

In both of your minds, kids were still years away.

The pink plus signs on both tests brought you to the harsh reality that those plans were no longer relevant.

Your mind flooded with worry. You were a newbie at your job, you hadn’t even been married for a year, Miguel had so much school left.

You spent the afternoon drowning in your anxiety.

“Amor, I brought you that soup that you like.” Miguel called from the living room. He found you in your bedroom with a tear-stained, puffy face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You turned around and showed him the tests. “What are we going to do?!” you cried. You searched his face, waiting to see his brow crease with worry just like yours.

Instead, he beamed. His face lit up brighter than the sun, and you felt every awful scenario that you’d tortured yourself with melt away at his excitement. He hugged you without saying a word, one of his amazing bear hugs that he knew always made you feel better. You petted his hair, and you knew everything was going to be just fine.

He pulled back from you and you saw tears sliding down his face. “This is amazing,” he whispered.

You kissed his cheek and hugged him again.

“Yeah, it really is, huh?” you whispered back.

There was no better word for your pregnancy than miserable. Your morning sickness lasted longer than the first trimester, and despite being young, you experienced health issue after health issue.

You were bedridden for the last few months of pregnancy, but your husband made it all better.

Your husband who somehow had boundless energy when you had none. Your husband who nearly tripled his class load to graduate early.

Your husband who held your hair back as you emptied the breakfast he made you into the toilet.

Your husband who put on over 100 pounds of muscle so he could ‘be strong enough for the baby.’

Your husband whom you somehow fell even more in love with, which you didn’t even think was possible.

He received his master’s degree in May. You felt enormous, but you begged him to let you take him out to celebrate.

Your water broke in the restaurant.

He rushed you out, you’re not even sure if you paid for the food. He drove you to the hospital as you squeezed his hand with all your might and swore at him.

After making it to the hospital in record time, your doctors looked at you sympathetically.

Of course, after an extremely rough pregnancy, you were going to have a rough delivery too.

Hours and hours of labor and deliberating. Hours of worry and discontentment. Hours of pain and exhaustion.

Everyone eventually decided that a c-section was the way to go. You stared up at the ceiling as your body was being sliced and poked and prodded, and your husband held your hand and gave you words of encouragement.

A loud cry broke through your anxious thoughts. The entire world stopped.

“Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. O’Hara, it’s a girl; 10 fingers and 10 toes and a great head of hair!” the doctor plopped her on your chest.

In that moment, you three were the only ones in the entire universe. Your baby, your husband, and you. Nothing had ever been more perfect.

Hours later, after you’d gotten some much needed rest and food, you both gazed down at her sleeping face. “We never even had time to talk about names,” Miguel whispered. He ran a gentle finger over her tiny little hand. Your heart swelled for him even more.

“I was thinking…” you started, “Maybe we could name her Gabriella, after your brother?”

You heard him gasp quietly. You began to open your mouth to suggest something else. “It’s perfect. She looks like a Gabriella, don’t you think?” he never took his eyes off of her.

“She looks like an O’Hara,” you chuckled. “Of course, she lived in my body for 9 months and came out looking like you.”

Despite all the trouble she gave you during your pregnancy, Gabriella was such an easy baby. She slept through the night, she was easy to feed, and she was always content to sit with you.

Those first few weeks of parenthood were surreal. You and Miguel would simply stare at her for hours, unsure how you made such a precious, perfect thing. She mesmerized the both of you.

One evening, you were making dinner while Miguel fed her. His phone rang, and you overheard him in the living room.

“Yes, I’d be happy to accept the offer! You have no idea what this means for my family, thank you so much.”

He’d gotten a job at Alchemax. A fancy, well-paying job in his field.

“You know, I’ll be making enough that you can stay home with Gabi if you want,” he said after you’d put her to bed.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that? I can go back to work when my maternity leave is up - my parents offered to watch her during the day.”

He pulled you close, “I want you to get to spend time with our daughter. I want you to raise her, no offense to your parents.”

And so you did.

The time flew by. You two bought a house close to your parents, he bought you a new car for your birthday, and all of the sudden, your daughter was turning one.

Your house was filled with friends from college (many now with their own spouses), relatives, and friends from Miguel’s new job and your old one.

You all watched as Gabriella smashed a white cupcake straight into her thick black hair. You and your husband sat together with your bubbly baby girl and opened present after present, making a mess of the wrapping paper.

Suddenly, time was moving even faster. Preschool, kindergarten, soccer practice, family vacations. Miguel had the biggest soft spot for your daughter.

Watching him be a parent made your heart grow ten times bigger. He woke up before the sun rose every day so he could be home to put her to bed every night.

He read to her, he answered every question she had and never discounted her curiosity.

He made it to every practice and soccer game, and took the whole team out for ice cream periodically.

He let you sleep in late on Sundays and made pancakes and coffee.

He was perfect. There was no other way to describe it.

Suddenly, your daughter was 8 years old. She was constantly outgrowing her clothes, reading voraciously, and performing well in school. Her teachers and coaches praised your parenting to no end. You and Miguel smiled, “She’s just the most amazing kid.”

You felt on top of the moon. You couldn’t believe that you’d stressed so much all those years ago in that little apartment when you’d seen the positive pregnancy test.

Everything seemed right with the world. At least until a few weeks ago.

Your husband wasn’t home yet. You checked your phone incessantly, but you never received a call or text.

You got through bedtime with your daughter. She asked three different times where her father was.

After she was sound asleep, you began to get worried. You called his phone again and he didn’t answer.

A sickly feeling bubbled in your gut. Not the churning anxiety that you’d felt so many times before, this was different. This felt like intuition. Something was terribly wrong.

You texted everyone you knew asking if they had heard from him. You called the businesses that you thought he could be at. No one. It was like he had fallen off the face of the Earth.

Just after 2am, you considered calling the police. As you began to dial, you heard a key turn in the lock.

He walked in looking disheveled. You ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

“I was so worried! Where were you!?” you squeezed him tight around his neck.

“I’m sorry, we got caught up in a chem testing sequence. I’m not supposed to tell anyone about the project, so that’s why they said I wasn’t there.” He kissed your cheek and squeezed you.

“You smell weird,” you said. He had such a distinct smell, a combination of the laundry detergent you used, his cologne, and his deodorant. He smelled all wrong for some reason.

He looked you in the eyes and smiled. You’d never noticed how his smile was just the slightest bit crooked.

“Let’s take a shower, amor.” He set you back on your feet. “I want to go take a peek at Gabriella, though. I’ll meet you in the bathroom,” he kissed you on the forehead and made his way to her room.

You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something was off about your husband that evening. At first, you blamed his late night. He claimed that his workload in the lab was increasing, but something still didn’t sit quite right with you.

You’d stare at him out of the corner of your eye, not sure what you were hoping to see.

He’d found a new interest in your sex life, as well. He pawed at you in your sleep and pressed your cheek up against the shower door late at night. He seemed like he was learning your body all over again.

In some ways, he was the man you married. He still threw himself into parenting your daughter. He still made it to every soccer practice and game, still read to her every night.

But you knew something was wrong.

Your best guess was that he was cheating, but it seemed so out of character for him. Still, you had nothing else.

He came home late again and found you sitting in the bedroom with your bedside lamp on. “You’re still up?” he asked.

“What the hell is going on with you?” You demanded.

His brows knitted together in a confused look, “What do you mean?”

“Are you cheating on me, Miguel?”

“Amor, I would ne-”

“Then what is it?” Your voice was low with suspicion.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He sat next to you and leaned in close.

“I don’t know what it is, Miguel. But something’s not right. I know you, and I know there’s something you’re not telling me.” You flipped the light off and pulled the covers up.

“I love you, honey. Nothing’s wrong, I promise,” he said in the darkness.

“Whatever, Miguel. I’m going to sleep,” you turned away from him and shut your eyes.

The timer on your phone went off.

You thought again about your husband.

Your husband who brought you roses yesterday.

Your husband who couldn’t remember what size jersey your daughter wears.

Your husband who’d had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

You stared at the positive pregnancy test and sobbed.

#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman 2099 spiderverse #miguel spiderman #spiderman 2099 #miguel spiderverse

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sgojoenthusiast · 1 year

Text

nineteen.

gojo x reader

summary:

gojo coming home to you after nineteen dreadful days without him.

cw: slight angst (if you being very upset counts as angst idk i’m kind of new here lol) & very miniature fluff, new chapter spoilers, daddy’s home

word count: 0.7k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Nineteen days of cooking two meals, only for one to be discarded for the bin. Nineteen days of reaching behind you in bed to find a heartbreaking emptiness and an empty pillow. Nineteen days without hearing the jingle of his keys in the door, the warming, and loud, announcement of his arrival that never failed to make you smile, his soft kisses and delicate touch. Nineteen days of solitude and sorrow.

Somehow, this streak appeared to have been broken. You looked up from your untouched plate of food, an identical one sitting opposite you, at the sound of a knock on the door.

You dragged your feet towards the door unenthusiastically, all hope of it being the one you dreamed it would be, having dwindled gradually after every time you opened the door to a face that didn’t belong to Satoru Gojo. Each time just as much of a knife to the heart as the last.

But there he was. At first, you weren’t sure if the grief of his being gone and all other of the recent events were messing with your mind, but when he spoke, when you touched him, it all felt so real.

“I lost my keys, I’m sorry.” His voice was weak and sad.

All he had thought about was you. How you were doing, if you were in danger, if you were alive and protected as he couldn’t ensure it himself.

You had infested his mind constantly and without failure made him lose his mind with agony at the lack of your gentle fingertips trailing his skin and through his hair.

He pulled you into his arms immediately, having misunderstood the pain of not being in your touch for so, so long.

“You told me you’d be careful.” you sobbed, pulling away and punching him weakly in the chest, though he didn’t flinch, he just stared into your glassy eyes with his own a he caressed your cheek and pulled you back into his embrace as he muttered apologies

“I know baby-“

“No you don’t know Satoru!” all the pain that's been built up over the past two weeks finally being disentangled from your chest, crawling over him as he drowned in your misery. You pulled away from him again, taking a few steps back to take him in as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

“I haven’t been able to breathe or think or- I just-" you stuttered, not being able to get the right words out. "I missed you so much it hurt. I didn't know when you’d- I didn’t know if you’d come back and that killed me over and over again. The thought of losing you forever killed me.”

The feeling of him not being with you was so overwhelming. You couldn’t explain the grief you found yourself trapped in these nineteen days. Everything was a reminder of what you didn’t have. The reverberating silence of your shared home, the music you’d listen to together, the meals you’d cook together (mainly you, as he can’t cook to save his life). Everything hits you at once.

He kept his head down as though the site of your pain alone was enough to hurt the strongest.

“If I could take all this pain from you and put it in me, I would, a thousand times over if I had to and I really wish I could because seeing you cry and knowing I caused it I-“ he walked hesitantly up to you and took your face in the palm of his familiarly warm hands.

"I missed you. I missed you so fucking much." he muttered, placing his forehead against yours.

"I love you, Toru. Please don't leave me again, I don't think my heart could take it." you whispered back.

"I promise. Never again."

He had struggled immensely too, but all of his suffering only intensified at the idea of you being in so much despair at losing him, knowing you'd been rotting from the inside without your light to keep you flourishing.

You never once let him go.

When he carried you to the sofa and stood up to grab you some water, you refused, no matter how dry your throat was from all the crying. You couldn’t be apart from him for one second, in case it was all a dream that would end in the morning. And if that was the case, you wouldn’t dare waste a single precious second away from his protective and loving arms.

Everything felt so real, so when you woke up the next morning to the same spot that had been empty for the past nineteen days being occupied by the one you loved, your heart melted as your head nestled into his chest.

note: I MISSED HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

edit: help i dont remember writing this and i’m scared to reread it

#gojo x reader #fluff #gojo angst #angst #jjk spoilers #jjk angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fanfic #gojo is free #free gojo

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kim-seung-mo · 2 years

Text

𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕌𝕡 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔾𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕋𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 (ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕚𝕟𝕖)

♩ gn!reader, angst with the slightest of fluff, romance, emotional, miscommunication, crying, cursing (in changbin's scenario)

♩♩ word count: 2.5k

♩♩♩ A/N: might do maknae line might not, idk lol, running out of ideas

wip list here maknae line here

Chan

Reason for breaking up: He thinks you deserve someone better

Chan had this hidden fear ever since the beginning when he chose to be with you.

He loves you very much, more than anyone else in the world.

But he believed that he didn't have time to be with you properly.

That hidden fear has been tormenting him silently.

Every time he sees the sacrifices you make because of him, he feels terribly bad.

He felt that if it was someone else, they could definitely make you happier.

And so, when he came home at four o'clock in the morning once again to see you sleeping on the couch, the guilt that had been suppressed inside him exploded out.

"Y/N, let's… Break up. It's not you who's not good enough, don't ever think that it's you …… It's me, it's my problem. I just don't think I could ever make you as happy as you deserve to be."

You have no idea how much courage it took for him to say that.

Separation time: three months, two weeks and four days

He remembered every day exactly.

He was the one who initiated the breakup, but it was also he who couldn't endure the feeling of loneliness.

He couldn't help but miss the days when he had you, couldn't help but look through his phone for everything about you.

Your photos, the text messages between the two of you, the voice messages you left for him.

But for three months, you never reached out to him either.

Maybe he was right, and you were indeed happier without him.

But it felt like a hole had opened up in his heart and kept bleeding out.

The thought, the fact that "you'd be happier without him" was killing him.

How you got back together: The members went to you

Although Chan himself did not come to talk to you, and always pretended that everything was normal in front of others, his members, who knew him best, saw him clearly.

Chan without you simply wasn't Chan.

The first people who couldn't take it were Changbin and Jisung, who needed to work with him to produce music.

The two of them called you one after another to ask you what was wrong with your relationship.

You answered them truthfully that it was Chan who wanted to break up with you because he felt that "you deserved someone better".

After a bit of conversation, you realized that you had completely misunderstood Chan's intentions.

You thought that "you deserved someone better" was just a euphemism.

You always thought he was just tired of you, tired of your normality.

You always thought that Chan was just too kind-hearted to say such words more straightforwardly.

You didn't even think that he actually really thought that you deserved someone better.

For you, he was the perfect one, and no one could compare to him.

No one could ever make you feel as happy as he does.

So, after learning the real reason for your breakup, you immediately went to him and told him what you really thought.

He cried for a long time, apologized to you, and explained how confused he had been.

You both agreed that from now on you had to tell each other about any emotional confusion, and the two of you would discuss the situation together.

Minho

Reason for breaking up: You thought he didn't love you

Even after being together, his attitude towards you didn't seem to be different from before.

It seemed that even though you became his lover, your place in his heart remained the same.

Apart from the addition of the title "lover", it was exactly the samel.

You wondered if he really liked you.

Did he really like you, or was he only using you as an excuse to avoid others?

What you didn't know was that it wasn't that he didn't love you, but that he didn't dare to show his love for you.

He thought you were in love with the "Minho" you knew, which is why he didn't dare to show any changes.

He only dared to kiss you secretly on the forehead and say his "I love you"s when you were asleep.

"Minho, I don't think we should continue like this."

When he heard you say that, he felt as if time had been paused.

"What does that mean?"

"I can't lie to myself like this anymore, let's break up."

He saw the sadness in your eyes, the love in your eyes seemed to have faded quite a bit, and suddenly he couldn't say a word.

He thought that it was you who didn't love him.

Separation time: five days

If Jisung hadn't taken five days to find out you two had broken up, this time might have been less.

He couldn't believe that you two had broken up.

"Did you bring up the breakup? Hyung, why? Tell me the reason."

"It wasn't me… It was Y/N."

Jisung's eyes widened, as if he was even more confused.

"Y/N wanted to break up with you? What on earth did you do to them?"

"I don't know, Jisung, I don't know. Y/N doesn't seem to love me anymore."

Jisung had never seen such a heartbroken expression on Minho's face.

He knew Minho wouldn't go and talk to you himself, so he had to do it for him.

How you got back together: Han Jisung talked to you for a long time

"There must be some kind of misunderstanding in this, you definitely aren't out of love with hyung, right?"

As you opened the door, before you had a chance to see who was in front of you, he had already opened his mouth and was talking in a rapper's pace.

You froze for a moment before realizing that he was talking about Minho.

You didn't know what to say, so you just told him "I don't want to lie to myself anymore".

He frowned and asked you what you meant by that, so you explained to him what had happened.

"I don't want to lie to myself and tell myself that he loves me, he doesn't love me at all."

"But Minho hyung told me that it was you who didn't love him anymore."

He then soon realized that the reason you and Minho had broken up was purely because of a communication problem.

He was afraid that if he changed and showed more love to you, you would feel uncomfortable and weirded out.

And you, on the other hand, have been expecting that change, wanting his love but not daring to ask for it.

That was how it turned out to be.

After learning this fact, you felt remorseful and hated yourself for not being more straightforward.

And after you found Minho to tell him your feelings, the way he looked at you changed instantly.

He removed all pretense and revealed his most genuine feelings.

His endless love for you, and a lasting kiss.

Changbin

Reason for breaking up: He was just mad at you and said it to scare you, but didn't think you'd take it seriously

You were fighting again over petty things, and this wasn't the first time today.

You both were a bit competitive and always wanted to prove each other wrong.

So whenever you couldn't agree on something, you would start debating.

He's been a little stressed lately, with little inspiration for composing, and after having an argument with you, his mood could be considered to have hit rock bottom.

"Seo Changbin! You're tossing your clothes everywhere again! How many times have I told you to fold your clothes properly or throw them in the laundry bin?"

He slammed his hat down in front of you with anger, glaring at you with red eyes.

"If so many things about me upset you, why don't we just fucking break up!?"

You happened to have experienced a lot of rough patches today, and the anger came rushing in.

"Fine! You said it! Let's break up! So I won't ever have to care about your bullshit ever again!"

You dropped those words and left, not even leaving him with a spare look.

Separation time: a few hours

He never actually admitted that you broke up, but out of fear of losing face, he didn't chase after you.

He thought this was a good time for you both to calm down.

But as he laid in the cold bed without you at night, he couldn't help but start thinking about what he would do if you really did break up.

Without you… He might not be able to live a normal life at all.

No kiss from you when he wakes up, no sharing of happiness with you, no hugs from you in times of distress, no cheering for him when he gets off stage…

He began to regret, you have already made so many sacrifices for him, why couldn't he give in to you a little on such trivial things? You were the person who loved him the most, so why did he always have to argue with you?

If you really broke up because of such a minor thing, he would have hated himself for the rest of his life.

Thinking of this, he picked up the jacket you folded for him aside and rushed out of the house.

How you got back together: He went straight to you to talk it over

Although it says "getting back together ", he simply did not approve of the breaking of your relationship.

He would not let this relationship end, absolutely no chance.

He knew where you would go when you were sad, so it took less than ten minutes to find you.

When he saw you wiping your tears, he felt his heart ache.

Because of his words, words that were never meant to be said, you were crying.

He wanted to slap himself, but you were the priority right now.

He came running to your side and put his jacket on your back.

"You know, I didn't mean any of that, right?"

You moved in the opposite direction, ignoring him.

"Y/N… scold me, hit me or whatever, just don't ignore me ……"

You glanced at him and frowned when you saw that he wasn't wearing a jacket.

"Why did you only bring me a jacket? Where's your own?"

He smiled when he heard your caring remark.

"I guess you still care about me. You were lying about the "never having to care about my bullshit" part, weren't you?"

You turned to face him, looked at the dark circles under his eyes, and reached out to touch them with a bit of concern.

"Have you not been resting well lately? Or is there something not going well at work? Earlier when you said you wanted to… Break up, it really freaked me out. Even knowing that you were just talking out of your ass to scare me, I …… I couldn't help but think that you were serious."

He grabbed your wrist and brought you into his arms.

"Of course I wasn't serious …… I love you so much, how could I ever actually want to break up with you? Besides, I've long been ready to be bossed around by you for the rest of my life."

Hyunjin

Reason for breaking up: You lied and told him you didn't love him anymore

You've been together since forever, since before his debut.

Your relationship has always been stable, never had more than a few fights over the years.

People around him say that he was a completely different person before and after he met you.

"Maybe that's the kind of change love can make in a person?"

He even sometimes felt that a large part of his success today was due to you.

You were there for him when things were hardest, and always stayed by his side to be his support.

So, when you told him "I don't love you anymore", his reaction was predictable.

Disbelief, disapproval, feeling that it was ridiculous, feeling that you were lying to him, crying, a lot of tears, crying constantly, feeling that the world was going to collapse down on him.

But your expression was calm, even as you watched him in pain, you didn't come up and hold him in your arms as usual, telling him in a gentle voice "I'm here, it's okay".

"Why?"

Although he didn't want to hear the answer, he asked anyway.

"It's just that… I don't love you anymore. When I'm with you, I don't feel love anymore."

He didn't understand why you had made it through the hardest times with him, only to choose to leave him when you finally saw the light at the end, when you could finally enjoy happiness.

Why? Because you were lying to him.

Separation time: 3 weeks

Hyunjin's life was turned upside down.

He couldn't seem to get up any energy to do anything.

He would still go to work as usual, practice dancing and singing, and stand on stage to perform to STAY.

But there was just something different.

It was as if, his enthusiasm had disappeared.

This was extremely frustrating for everyone.

He hadn't even touched his paintbrush for three weeks.

His room was always dark, and you could always see him lying on the bed, curled up in a ball when you went in.

If you listened carefully, you could hear the faint sound of sobs.

"What can I ever do when I can't even keep my beloved? How can I keep my fans?"

"Maybe I don't have charisma at all, otherwise how come Y/N would ……"

Every night he would have the same nightmare of what you said the day you left him.

Until……

"Hyunjin's recent performance has been really concerning…"

Hyunjin heard his name as he passed by a JYP office.

"Didn't you say that if you let them break up, he could focus more on his career?"

"I didn't expect Y/N to be so important to him!"

Hyunjin's pupils shrank.

"Maybe, it was wrong to talk Y/N into breaking up with him after all……"

How you got back together: Rushing to you and crying

It was raining heavily outside, but he still rushed to the apartment where you live without any hesitation and kept knocking on the door of your house.

The moment you opened it, he was already venting his feelings, saying to you in a voice you've never heard before.

"I knew you were lying to me! They made you break up with me, didn't they? They're the ones who-"

Before he could finish his sentence, tears came rushing to his eyes once again, he grabbed your shoulders and kept shaking them, wanting an answer from you.

You try to rebut him, but he spoke again before you could say anything.

"I heard them, I heard it all. They're wrong, Y/N, and you breaking up with me will only make me- only make me feel like I'm broken and can't function. I know you must still love me, you still love me, right? If you don't love me, why are you crying now?"

He hugged you tightly, and this time, he would never let go.

"Never again will you lie to me and say you don't love me …… I would rather die than have to admit to something like that."

permanent taglist: @zoe8stay @yutaalove @seungly @chewryy @cosmic-railwayxo @starlostseungmin

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #skz headcanons #stray kids headcanons #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz fluff #stray kids fluff

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letsmyy · 2 months

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i have a request!!! you should write a daughter of apollo x leo valdez fic but based on espresso by sabrina carpenter (idk i feel like that song gives children of apollo vibes!) it'd be leo obsessed with the apollo girl (like him being absolutely obsessed with her, having the biggest crush on her possible, he constantly thinks about her, him being an absolute loser bf) and finally getting the courage to ask her out on a date or something like that.

“she’s like a shot of espresso…”

leo valdez x duaghter of apollo!reader

warnings: use of yn! english isn’t my first language so it might be some errors!!

thank you so much for your request, it made me so happy!! idk if what i wrote it’s exactly what you want but i hope you like it 🤕 this is my first timing writing a real fic and I think it really shows lol, but i promise I’ll try to improve in the next one, I’m so sorry if it’s that bad, and this is really short too? omg im really bad at this lol, but anyways, ly anon tell me your opinions (honestly) abt this later, kisses to uuu!! 🫶💗 (btw anon, please request other things I feel like I didn’t did you justice with this one)

words: 850

“is it that sweet? I guess so…..”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ - ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Leo was sure he was going crazy.

He always had a pretty big amount of silly crushes on girls, but with you? It was getting way too serious. Of course, you're beautiful, incredibly kind, and too generous for your own good, and you treated him well, but that isn't enough reason to make him lose sleep; at least that's what he thought.

And he was extremely wrong. Being in your presence was the equivalent of being bathed in the sunlight, and gods, he felt like a prisoner who hadn't seen the sun in years.

He's completely obsessed with you; he just needs the courage to verbalize that, but being honest, Leo felt like a coward at the moment.

While being lost in his thoughts (the thoughts being the pretty daughter of Apollo that never leaves his mind), the boy finally falls asleep.

Leo doesn't mind waking up if that means spending the day with the people he loves, so after getting ready for the day, he searches for you.

And he found you, talking with a much younger camper, helping him. You're smiling like it's the best day of your life, and Leo could swear that you're almost glowing.

The boy makes its way to you the same moment you finish talking to the kid, now having your full attention on Hephaestus' son.

"Leo! Good morning!" Your voice to him had the same effect as listening to his favorite music, it made him happy in ways he couldn't explain, even if his life depended on it.

"Yn! Good morning!" He mimics you, not in a bad way, just a teasing one. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance.

"Sooo, did you sleep well, Valdez?" You ask, seeming really interested in the answer, but he knows that you're like that for everything, being extremely kind.

"Not really, would be better if I dreamed about you," you laugh amusingly.

"You say that every day, y'know?"

"I know, I say because it's true. " You can't help but blush a little. You're used to Leo flirting with you, but it never gets past that, so you just learned to joke back.

"Hilarious, Valdez... fortunately, I slept very well today, and I'm more excited than normal! I think it's because it's so sunny today, that's awesome, was thinking about going to the lake later. I can't waste such a pretty day like this one painting inside my cabin..."

"Unfortunately, I'll be in the bunker today, I have lots of things to do."

"What? No! You're coming with me, you can't waste this wonderful day either!" You grab his hands, walking toward the lake.

Leo could swear he would pass out at that moment. He couldn't even think about denying your offer, he would prefer dying to doing that.

After a few seconds, you guys get to the lake.

"Look how pretty it is! You have to go swimming with me, it’s a need.”

"Look, sunshine, water and fire don't get along so well, so I might skip that one" he says, apologetic. You frown, thinking.

"We don't need to go swimming, we can just talk, i really don't care." You smile lovingly at him.

"I don't want to ruin your day! There are many people that can go with you, you'll find someone better to do that." He's so oblivious that it's getting concerning.

"I want to spend time with you, Valdez. I don't mind if it's swimming or just talking, I want to, you know..be with you."

"Oh." He's acting like a loser, he can't think straight anymore and is blushing like crazy, but who cares?

"Oh?" You tease him, smiling.

"Yeah, we can. Just talk, I'm happy with that. " His smile was so genuine that made your heart melt.

That's when you realize you're still holding his hand, and you don't want to change that. You can feel he notices too.

Something just snapped in his head, now it’s the time, now or never, right?

"Yn? Can I tell you something?" He says it in a quiet tone, and you just nod.

"When I'm around you, it's like constantly drinking a shot of espresso, it's like being bathed in sunlight, you're incredibly energetic and enthusiastic, and i just can't get enough of you, you're my sunrise and daylight....all I'm saying is, gods, I very much love you more than just friends" You're surprised, really surprised, so surprised that you can't even speak for a moment, which just makes Leo even more nervous.

"Please say something...like, anything, a no it's better than silence because it’s less-“ Before he yaps again, you interrupt him:

"I like you too." The boy almost squeals of pure excitement.

"Seriously? Oh gods, oh gods. What?" He's so happy, it's so sincere, so soft, it's amazing, you can feel your heart beating so fast, and you don't even care; seeing him like this because of you is the best feeling you ever felt.

Then you see that one look, meant just for you, it's like time has frozen, and you're both thinking the same thing. Then, like all the stars aligned, you kissed him

#leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez x you #leo valdez fic #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson fic #heroes of olympus #daughter of apollo #apollo #son of apollo #child of apollo #espresso #leo valdez fanfic #leo valdez headcanons #leo valdez imagines

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jcs-singular-slut-strand · 1 month

Text

MDZS fanfic ideas I have that most likely won't go anywhere and are mainly just titles atp

@fandom-trash-goblin ‼️

Wish You Were Sober (Chengxian but not necessarily outright)

Post Sunshot when Wei Wuxian is going out drinking everyday

Jiang Cheng being pissed about that (rightfully so, Jesus Christ)

They still love each other but it's hard when you're a sect leader and your SiC is dodging his responsibility's and by extension YOU

Jiang Cheng feels

Jiang Fengmian bashing

idk really I just felt like sharing

Modern AU Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling road trip

The end of the Summer holidays

And they have to get from Yunmeng to Lanling but Jin Ling's flight has been cancelled so Jiang Cheng has to drive him there

All types of shenanigans, for example:

Car breaks down

There's a storm so they have to stop for the night in this shifty ass motel

Jin Ling's awful (in Jiang Cheng's opinion) music

Jiang Cheng's awful (in Jin Ling's opinion) music

There isn't really anything dramatic or overly emotional about this

Just a bit of a laugh

Jiang Fengmian bashing (idk how but I will fucking get it in there idc)

Zhao Zhuliu/Wen Zhuliu is actually Jiang Cheng's real father AU (thank the Lord he looks like his mother)

Major Jiang Fengmian bashing obvs <3

pretty ooc except for Wen Zhuliu who doesn't really have a personality to mischaracterise

Wen Zhuliu being a bit #suspicious when Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian pull up for the Wen indoctrination

Just cause. how can anyone Like That be Jiang Fengmian's son??????

Anyways they're in the cave and Wen Zhuliu refuses to fight Jiang Cheng because by then he's worked out that the boy's birthday is like... suspiciously 9 months away from the last time he and Yu Ziyuan were last Together™

And bby is just like nope

not doing that today

Anyways burning of Lotus Pier and it all goes down the same

EXCEPT

Wen Zhuliu doesn't have anything to do with the death of Yu Ziyuan (if anything he's holding them all back)

Instead of taking his core, Wen Zhuliu takes that child out of Lotus Pier and straight to Wen Qing and renounces the Wen name, going back to Zhao Zhuliu (independent King, we love to see it)

Basically pledges pledges allegiance to Jiang Cheng and kinda follows him around like a guard dog for the entirety of Sunshot

Wen Zhuliu doesn't make the connection of Jiang Cheng potentially being his son until he's got his hand in his chest and is melting Jiang Cheng's golden core

In this AU there'll be some weird thing where you have parts of your parents in your core I don't really wanna explain it

"Jiang Cheng’s golden core was strong for a seventeen year old and was filled with unbridled potential that only the son of the Violet Spider could hold or hope to live up to"

"It spills all over his fingers then onto the floor and he lets it, staring transfixed as his son’s livelihood falls through his fingers"

Basically, Wen Zhuliu gives up his core for Jiang Cheng via Wen Qing and surgery instead of Wei Wuxian and everything else plays out the same minus the demonic cultivation

Jiang Cheng still kills Wen Zhuliu however when he searches his robes he finds a letter addressed "Jiang Wanyin"

Edge of Seventeen (Jiang Cheng Sect Leader succession during Sunshot, potentially Zhancheng 👀)

Pretty much just a character study of Jiang Cheng

Set during the 3-6 months that Wei Wuxian was in the burial mounds

Lan Wangji being there when Wei Wuxian wasn't...

Not a fully fledged idea yet

Jiang Fengmian bashing <3

#mdzs #the untamed #jiang cheng #mdzs fanfiction #chengxian #zhancheng #jin ling and his jiujiu #wen zhuliu #zhao zhuliu

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yourdyingwish · 7 months

Note

what's your favorite thing about my chemical romance? what makes them appealing to you?

I think they're very good at being a rock band in the 21st century, which is a notoriously tricky thing to do. IDK how else to explain it really. I got into them in early 2020–like, January–when Isa asked me to get tickets to the tour with her. I got to see the story of the band laid out all at once, listened to their albums in rapid succession, so I think my perspective is different than some people who the band was important to during their middle or high school years. Not better–just different.

I was 25 in 2020 and I think MCR is a really good band to listen to in your mid-20s. A lot of the themes in their music reflect on a struggle for self-actualization, a grief over the things you aren't or can't become.

But back to the "they're very good at being a rock band" thing, which is my primary reason for liking them: when I was first immersing myself in the band it almost felt like I was unfolding a piece of paper, and that on every fold, the words yes, really were written. It seems like the band was incredibly lucky, and that Gerard among other things is an intuitive person who was surrounded by the right people in his life, which resulted in them making creative choices that seemed to brush just up against something "against the grain" while also maintaining mass appeal. Things like their costumes or glammy sensibility, for example, or even just how showwy and over the top and dramatic their music is.

The mass appeal factor is really interesting to me; it seems like a lot of what the band wants to do or has done hinges on them being as big as possible. They're obviously not a punk act for this reason, but what they do instead is just as interesting. In a lot of ways they seem like a pastiche of rock acts that came before them, but with an enduring awareness that their audience's devotion, the fractured, powerful love that you see in teenage girls or very lonely people, is what powers them, in a very real, deep way. The reunion tour and all the little easter eggs they included in order to create a narrative proves that, but so does something like Danger Days, which truly is an album only a fan could love.

The devotion machine is something that feeds back in on itself, and it's incredible that it does. Somehow in a world where everything that exists on a mass scale feels categorized, calculated, focus-tested and proofread to death, MyChem manage to not feel that way. The fact that they managed to surprise people this tour is incredible to me. I got into the band at a period of time when I was incredibly shrewd about, or perhaps ironically detached from, art and music; it felt like anything I liked had to be direct subversion of form. But MyChem isn't that way. They're just doing what they do. And that's really impressive to me. In the end, I suppose it's sort of a self fulfilling prophecy: I love My Chemical Romance because I love My Chemical Romance.

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politemagic · 1 month

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please excuse me while i go a wee bit off the rails for a second here!!

So I'm reading Dracul currently and when I read this particular section my brain started going brrrrrr thinking about the way the other vessels may be drawn to Vessel by the power of Sleep (thinking of III in particular). Like, let me just replace some words real quickly :

III could not explain how or why he was able to do such a thing, yet there it was, a strange tugging, as if a cord had been tied to Vessel and he was pulling III along behind him. That pull was accompanied by what could only be described as a tickling at the back of his mind, and as he grew closer, that tickling redoubled. It wasn't uncomfortable; quite the opposite - he found it soothing. This force wanted III to be close to Vessel.

The force, obviously being Sleep, binds itself to each of them, and in being Sleep's primary vessel, Vessel has a natural allure to them. In my mind, Vessel & II knew each other prior to Sleep, but III and IV felt this incredibly strong pull towards this vocalist, this seemingly random guy. They think it's just because of the music, because of their aligned tastes. But they also feel connected to him in a way that they've never felt towards anyone before, but they don't realize it was Sleep's doing until it was too late, until they had allowed Sleep to meld into every fiber of their being.

It's the reason their music is so relatable, why it's so enthralling. Sleep manages to grasp at the minds of listeners, just a little, just enough to keep drawing them back, to keep them worshipping. At least until He can return to His former glory.

(idk maybe i'm just really too deep in the sleep token brainrot but i'm throwing these thoughts out of my head and into the void)

#also HEAVILY INFLUENCED by reading like 5 chapters of 'Sleep and His Vessels' today. transitioned straight from one to the other #something was bound to happen in this ole noggin of mine #also shoutout to my lovely mutual hookedhobbies for both writing that fic and also recommending me this book #so if you think this is crazy you can blame kate and not me🫣 (i'm just kidding do not do that. she is blameless in my insanity)#sleep token #sleep token headcanons #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token lore #sleep token vessel #sleep token iii #em's stcu

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 5 months

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WeLL here we are...i want to write s/t quick to remember the year by. cus 2023 was probly one of my most significant years of life, even tho from the surface it may appear not much changed for me, 2023 laid the foundation,,,

firstly, january 2023 i began learning to make music, which is crazy like!!!! it has absolutely given me a new reason to be lieve in myself like i nvr had b4. its like unlocking a new area of my heart, and inutuion.. its so FUN, so so fun ohhh the fun i have, provides me w a brighter outlook for the future as i will always have this melodic part of me activated,going forward. ive learned so much in just a year. idk i just love it it makes me feel wise and complete i feel like an alchemist. i cld rly say a lot on the sense of security music has made me feel in my heart :'0 but i have some other things to get to;

summer 2023 i started doing yoga which has also changed things for me dramatically i think ive released a lot of built up stagnant energy from my body & aura. since i started i feel immensely more balanced n able to work thru my emotions as they come up. ngl when ppl used to recommend me to try yoga i thout it was hippie shit but its real lol.. im finding sm contentment in day to day life than i ever thought possible, easier time being present, yet another thing i will continue for the rest of my future that 2023 has given me.

these r good things but it must b said that this year has been Soooo rough for me in certain ways, mostly due to interpersonal relationships.. some ppl had to b let go from my life this year in ways i rly wasnt expecting & for a lot of the year things were just, foggy. however as things draw to a close im feeling immensely grateful like.. every1 im close to rn are all peaceful souls & we uplift each other, i see now why the ones causing drama naturally had to fall away. even if it was painful process im feeling so supported rn, & reciprocated TwwwT <3333

idk it just felt like as i was progressing w musical understanding, yoga stuff , as well as the past few months trying to use tea and herbs to get my organs in order, i feel that.. my energetic field is rly repairing itself & so a lot of old attachments just cant keep up anymore.

i have to say, well, erm, i am really in love w slimbo and its different than anything ive ever felt in my life. we've been in love for a long long time & i dont talk about it often as i am protective of this love. but god, its just, the purest bond ive ever known and our love for each other is deeper all the time. we r both life path 27/9 & the first time we met it literally felt like.. reuniting, it felt like a celebration..i had never noticed such warmth from someone. i cld never be in such a secure place rn if it wasnt for slimbo & every day im so grateful like dude i owe you my LIFE. idk how to explain it, we are just One. slimbo is my angel i cant wait to spend 2024 & forever with <3

if u read this far....ur a true PMDhead, thanks for being oomfies w me out here on the big wide web, i hope you bloom this year, & this can be a shift in the right direction for all of us <3 i believe palestine will be free. happy new year everyone, GANBATTE VIVA 2024 <333 -PMD9LL

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hawkinshighdropout · 2 years

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Stay The Night?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (female) Reader

Summary: After a long evening of fighting with your parents, you're late for school and missing from some classes. Your best friend Eddie notices you're not about and takes care of you once he finds you, offering you a place to stay to clear your head.

Warnings: No warnings, this is purely fluff/pure content. Unless you count a couple of curse words as needing a warning? Idk, I haven’t written fanfics in like 8 years so I’m a little rusty…

Note/Request: Requested by anonymous “Could you write a fanfic where you're just friends with eddie but he let's you stay at his trailer when you have nowhere to stay after a bad argument with your parents, you share a bed, and wake up in the night cuddling, eddie has a boner and hes like apologizing, and then whatever happens, please, you're just such a good writer”

Bonus: I feel like this could do with a part 2? It was just getting good when I wanted to start writing smut but saw how long it was and thought y'all wouldn't read it. I didn't want this to be like 6k words right off the bat... If you horny mother f-ers want a part 2 where smut ensues, please let me know? <3

Word Count: 2.6k

Send me prompts to write about!

You were a straight A student, destined for the college of your dreams, on multiple after school curriculum clubs and always on time… So when you didn’t show up for your first class of the day, your friends grew worried about you. It’s not like you to ghost, and certainly not like you to not show up, your friends spent the first hour or so in the morning between classes passing notes and asking around to find if anyone had seen you.

To your defence, you had had the evening from hell, and quite the eventful morning to follow it. It had all started due to your ‘little freak friend,’ as your parents to lovingly phrased it, spending ‘too much time’ around you. Your fashion sense had slowly shifted to something a little more edgy, your music taste was more diverse thanks to Eddie, and you started going out more on weekends. It was all harmless, and nothing was affecting your behaviour or work ethic, so you didn’t see the problem. Your parents didn’t see it that way, though. They treated him like he was the devil, corrupting their precious babygirl in ways unspoken, it was all bullshit. He had made you feel loved, cared for, supported. Him and his little gang of monsters (Hellfire Club) had given you a purpose and a sense of belonging outside the four walls of your home in Hawkins.

You’re not sure what straw broke the camel’s back, but something triggered your parents to unleash World War 3 the second you got home last night, in included a lot of screaming, arguing, name calling… A slap or two from your mother which you fought the urge to retaliate. You weren’t like them; you’d never sink that low. Hours upon hours of fighting and arguing, accusations being thrown around like verbal knives, until you cried yourself to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

Waking up was a real struggle this morning, having to face your puffy eyed self in the mirror as you brushed your hair and teeth, doing your best to keep down the sickness you felt inside from both the stress and the exhaustion. You were running late for school, having missed the bus earlier, which brought on a whole new wave of anger from your parents. Despite the fact your parents both have full time jobs and fancy cars, and they both work in the direction of your school, they refused to give you a ride. Meaning you had to walk from the upper side of Hawkins, all the way down to the front gates of your school, making you even later than intended. It was just before lunch when you got into Hawkins High, skin a little dewy from the sweat, only making your face look worse whilst adding to the already existing puffy eyes and sad smile.

You wandered up to the front desk to explain where you had been and why your parents hadn’t told the school about your whereabouts. Lucky for you, you were let off with just a warning, the only mercy you had been granted in about twenty-four hours. Thanking the school receptionist, you make a quick stop to your locker to drop off your things before moping down to the cafeteria, getting lost in the crowd who all piled in for their food. You had forgotten your lunch, sigh. What else could go wrong today? Folding your arms and making your way over to the Hellfire Club table, waiting somewhat patiently for the gang to roll in, keeping your head down as to not draw too much attention to yourself.

“Well, well, well… Look who decided to show up! Little Miss Perfect has finally blessed us with her presence. What happened to you, sweetheart? Too busy out car shopping with Daddy Dearest to attend algebra, hm?” Eddie joked, patting you on the back whilst letting out a soft laugh. Normally a line like that would have earned him an eye roll and jab in the chest, but today it was met with silence.

“Hey… Are you okay?” He asks quietly whilst the other dudes start to sit in their allocated seats around you, he could feel the tension from you and that worried him. Allowing yourself to slowly look up in his direction, your sad eyes meeting his own concerned ones, all it took was one look from him to crack you. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes and one dripping down your cheek as you sniffle, alarming Eddie as he wasn’t used to seeing you like this.

“Nope, not here you don’t. C’mon, let’s go.” Eddie mumbled comfortingly to you, not wanting anyone to see you cry as you both knew someone would use that against you. He wouldn’t let that happen. Taking your hand and guiding you up from your seat, both of you stood as he tangled his fingers in your own for support. Eddie quickly mumbled something into Dustin’s ear before patting him on the shoulder and easing you out of the lunchroom towards the empty halls, taking a quick look around before he tugged you into the girls’ bathroom.

By this point your tears were already freely falling, Eddie doing his best to listen and comfort you as you recalled the events of the last couple of days. He was hurt and pissed off. Not because your parents were so rude about him, but because they disrespected you. His only focus was the fact you were hurting, and he needed to do something about it, he was incredibly protective of those in his group, and that wasn’t going to slide with him.

“Shit, Y/L/N… Hey, okay, how about this? You can come and stay with me tonight, yeah? Your parents already are pissed at you, there’s no point going back there when they’re acting like this, let them cool off and give yourself a break, yeah? I’ll take the couch; you can have my bed… My Uncle won’t even be back until morning anyway, so it won’t be weird, even though he loves you.”

All you did was nod in response, grateful to have such a wonderful person in your life, further solidifying the fact that your parents were the problem. How could they hate someone so wonderful? Someone who always has your best interest at heart and wants to keep you happy. It took a couple minutes of him giving handing you tissues to help dry your tears, telling you to splash cold water on your face as it brings down the redness and puffiness, even him jumping and softly yelling at the girls screaming when they entered the bathroom to see the tall, tatted man in the girl’s room before you were ready to face the day.

“Okay, Princess. Let’s do this!” Eddie announced with a bright smile, taking your hand once again and leading you out of the bathroom. This time? You were thankfully full of giggles rather than tears.

-----

“Home Sweet Home” Eddie sighed, pulling open the door to his trailer and gesturing for you to enter ahead of him, “M’Lady” he chuckles whilst you wander in ahead, closely following behind you to shut the door on you both.

Glancing around the place, you notice there’s a few cigarette stumps in the ashtray and a slightly overflowing bin in the corner, but not as many shirts in the laundry pile as you’d usually expect. You’ve been here many times before, and this was somehow the cleanest you had seen it.

“Didn’t realise the Queen was coming to town, Ed…” you mocked him fondly, to which he immediately pulled out his smug smile and raised his brows in your direction, clearly amused.

“Well, someone’s feeling better, hm?” he visibly relaxed when he realised you were more at ease whilst alone with him. Knowing that it would only be a matter of time before you’re both wrestling and mocking each other once again, he brought you in for a warm embrace. It took you a little by surprise. Not that Eddie wasn’t affectionate or anything, he was, it just was usually you or someone from your squad initiating it first. You didn’t care about that right now though, allowing yourself to slump against him as his hug took the weight of the world off your shoulders, at least for a moment. Pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head before he pulled away from you, holding your cheeks in his hands whilst he scanned your face for a reaction. The smile on your face making him beam with joy, you were soon returning to your old self.

“There’s that pretty smile…” he mumbled, kissing your forehead before stepping away and wandering over to the cupboards in search of food. “Look, I know you didn’t eat lunch, but I didn’t really think in advance so like, I can offer you cereal or… cereal…” he shoots an apologetic smile.

“Cereal works!” you announce, wandering over to his small dinner table. Watching as he poured you both a bowl of cereal each, running out of milk after filling his bowl to which he rolled his eyes, cursed ‘son of a bitch’ under his breath before swapping bowls with you to ensure you got at least the most viable thing to a “proper meal” he could offer you.

You used the spoon to slowly eat your bowl, Eddie opting to use his hands and just shove a handful into his mouth at a time. What did he care? Its not like he had to worry about spilling his milk. Small talk ensued whilst you sat and ate together, him throwing the bowls into the sink for another day once you’d finished. Both of you residing to the couch for the rest of the evening, Eddie would smoke a couple cigarettes, even a joint or two, and you would happily sit at the doorstep whenever he went outside to smoke as he insisted on not giving you a second-hand high or headache from the fumes.

It's only when you begun to yawn that he looked at the time on his watch and announced it was time for bed, you sleepily nodded in agreement as the two of you wander towards his small bedroom. He cleaned up the best he could, going through his piles of laundry and sniffing each and every item until he found a shirt clean enough for you to wear to bed. Placing them on top of the sheets for you whilst he disappeared out of the room to give you privacy, happily slipping back into the room once you declare you were decent.

Dressed in his Metallica shirt and your underwear, you climbed into bed under the covers whilst he leant against the doorway with his arms folded, watching you as you slipped into the warmth of the sheets. Somewhere in this process he had changed into just his boxers, clothes you can only assume were cast around the living room like the rest of his things. Smiling down at you, he then gestures to the hallway and starts to back out of the room, shutting off the light in the process.

“I’ll be on the couch if you need me, okay?” he said softly, causing you to sit up a little and frown in his direction.

“Can you… Can you stay, please?” you whisper. You were a big girl, you weren’t scared of the dark or anything like that, you just found Eddie to be so comforting and after the day you had? You didn’t want to be alone.

“You sure?” he asks, your nodding response was all it took for him to shut the door and then slip into the bed beside you. Laying on his back and draping his arm around your shoulders, brushing his ring clad fingers up and down your shoulder comfortingly as you curled up against his chest. Eyes closing almost immediately as he hummed under his breath, lulling you to sleep in what felt like seconds.

“Goodnight, Sleepyhead” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before eventually passing out not long after.

----

The flush of the bathroom toilet startled him awake, not knowing where he was, who was around and why appliances were flushing when no one was supposed to be home. It’s only when your exhausted little face peeked back into the room that he settled down and everything clicked into place.

“Jesus H Christ, you scared me.” He breathed.

“Me? Scare you? C’mon now…” you laugh, finding it hard to believe that someone as tough and brave as Eddie would be startled by a small girl just going to the bathroom.

Climbing back into his bed, you took mere seconds before cuddling up against him once more. Arm wrapped around his middle whilst he wrapped his arms around your shoulders with a tight squeeze. Face to face this time, in the centre of the bed whilst your bodies became like one in the middle.

“Eddie?” you mumble against his chest.

“Yeah, babe?” he mumbled back; face tucked into your hair.

“Please tell me that isn’t your dick pressed up against my thigh…” you whine.

“I… didn’t know you could feel that, shit. Sorry. In my defence, it happens on its own, I… yeah, sorry!” he pulled back from you, grabbing more of the covers to make a layer across his hard dick, not wanting to make this situation any worse for you both.

“Oh really? And here I was thinking I was so irresistible that you just couldn’t help yourself around me, even in your sleep.” You teased, shoving him playfully in the side, glancing over to see his cheeks bright red in embarrassment.

“I mean… you are kinda hot in my shirt, but—” he stopped himself finishing that sentence, you let out a pool of laughter whilst grabbing the pillow and smacking him fondly in the chest.

“Oh, shut up! Bullshit” you declare, grinning to yourself as you continue to lightly whack him with the fluffy weapon.

“It’s not bullshit! You’re hot in my clothes, Jesus Christ. Can we change the subject now?!” he’s flustered you can tell, his words were honest but his execution was like that of a nervous child.

You finally decide to stop hitting him with the pillow, brow raised in question and head tilted slightly to the side as you search his expression for any hint of a lie, voice soft. “Wait, really?”

Watching as he shrugs his shoulders in defeat and nods his head. “Yeah, really… Sorry if that makes things weird. I can like, I can go back to the couch?” he offers in a mild panic, already in the process of moving to leave the room.

Grabbing his bicep to stop him, he looks down at you with a confused look on his face. Shaking your head from side to side, your voice soft and shy as you ask for him to stay. Once he made sure that was really what you wanted, he sunk back into the sheets with the covers still hiding him from the waist down.

“So… The shirt, hm?” you snort playfully, amused that something as simple as you wearing his clothes would get him going, to which he’s blushing and shrugging his shoulders in response.

“I hate you.” He jokes, grabbing the same pillow from before and this time using it to smack you in the chest, both of you falling into pits of laughter as the tension is quickly dissipated.

#eddie munson #eddie angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fluff #stranger things smut #joseph quinn #eddie munson edit #eddie munson gif #Eddie munson imagine

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agendratum · 2 years

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oh no i absolutely do not have time to talk about this because work but i’m thinking again about how few lines pete has after coming back from the safehouse

idk if any of this is going to make sense but

like yeah in the first half of the story pete might be pretending to be a background character, but he’s actually there a lot, very present, throwing these and those phrases around, monologuing occasionally to explain this and that to porsche. you actually *hear* him the whole time.

10th episode? literally pete’s time to shine. he actually makes his presence felt there on purpose.

he gets captured by vegas and if anything he starts talking more. he talks in defiance to vegas, he talks to himself, he talks to get through to vegas. so many lines! so many thoughts, opinions, so much of him being an alive character.

there is a whole monologue again in their final confrontation in the safehouse. a whole monologue of him voicing what he’s feeling in the moment, letting it all out. but he’s so tired at this point, so confused, hurt, desperate, *tired*. he manages an “i’m sorry” before he knocks vegas out

he manages “somebody help me please” when he steps out. but here he’s already, i don’t know how to say this- there is no more him in him at this point.

he comes back to the main house, and i mean, everyone literally thinks he’s an actual ghost for a moment.

in their bathroom, with porsche, this is pete on autopilot. “i went home, i really went home, please believe me” this is pete, bared of every protective layer he had, using his last defense, but it might as well be a piece of torn napkin he’s waving in front of porsche. and porsche sees it and he stops trying to get out any more lines out of pete

there is a silent scene of pete crying into the bowl of noodles. there is a silent scene of pete in yok’s bar, even as there so much comforting noise, and music and familiar voices and happiness and relief around. there is a silent scene of pete trying to have a smoke outside.

and then vegas shows up. and pete pulls a gun on him (a more real defense, still as useful as a napkin in pete’s hands tho, because he can’t shoot vegas, he can’t), still doesn’t say anything. it’s only when vegas presses him against that damn tree, putting them in a way too familiar dynamic for a second there, and apologizes for fuck’s sake, making a confused pete even more confused, pete who’s trying to make sense of himself now and failing, pete who’s trying to gather himself back from the pieces he has left and not managing, that’s when pete gets a “get the fuck out of my life” out.

and then he doesn’t say anything else for the rest of this scene. and it’s vegas who’s saying all these things that pete at his point couldn’t possibly say. and it’s vegas’ arms pete falls into, because he’s sososo tired, and so desperately needs to, and what could he possibly say about this. and it’s vegas seeing him again, words or not, and pete cannot hide from him anyway

next words he’ll say will be at the parking lot. before that there are going to be two scene with pete where he’s not going to say anything again.

in the parking lot he’ll shout to draw vegas’ attention. then he’ll tell these guys to go after kinn. that will be a fake line, that’s pete playing a role. and then he has only two lines again. vegas says he’s sorry, pete responds, bitter, “sorry?”. pete’s still so broken, so confused, so so so angry, and then vegas scares him. because vegas wants- to die? and that makes pete shout, and that makes pete even more confused, so fucking confused, because what the fuck *is* he talking about?

and then vegas tells him he loves him. and that dumbfounds pete for a good while. he doesn’t respond, he sobs into the kiss, he sits on the floor as vegas escapes. and not to derail my pretty serious very emotional about pete post with my stupid metaphors, but i’m pretty sure it was pete’s windows system finally restarting after all this time of him being almost fully silent, not being able to understand or express himself in any way since he escaped. this rewired pete

he finally knew what he wanted to say

#i'm gonna stop myself here because i actually do need to work #but pete having almost to none lines #between escaping the safehouse and resigning #is something that is actually so fucking important and heart-breaking to me #he is so lost #emptied out #OKAY NOW I'M ACTUALLY DONE #pete #PEETEEE #kp meta #vegaspete #watching kp

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myork · 2 years

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9 Years Of BTS . (130613)

One word you associate with BTS or how they make you feel

As answered by my mutuals and followers ♡

Thank you so much to everybody who answered and shared your reasons with me <3 here are a few other explanations <3

"I'm a Christian and I was pretty scared of joining this fandom because I though I was going to be judged. But I wasn't–like, at all. This family is filled with the people I trust the most, because BTS and ARMY always got my back–And I'll always have theirs."

"if it was two words i would say big brothers because that's exactly what they are to me. a bit like the kuyas (a word in plural form in my native language used to refer to an older man with respect or for an older man in general like older brothers) i've never had. that's probably why i picked "family." i think it hits me hard because i don't have any siblings. also my mom is willing to adopt them and become their mom lol."

"they made me learn to love myself, and love life... <3"

"ive never seen such a tight-knit group honestly it’s like they’re all siblings. also each one of them are talented in their own way."

"I just feel like theyre rlly good role models for healthy communication and. idk they make me feel loveable/not alone with my mental health struggles."

"My sense of purpose. Life for me was eat, sleep, work until they inspire me to want to do and be more."

"Their music makes me so happy and almost always puts a smile on my face. Songs like Mikrokosmos and Anpanman and Butter especially just always make me grin. And then of course they release so much content that makes me smile. And interacting with other Army makes me smile too, its always nice to connect with someone over a shared love for BTS. Have you ever been so overcome/overwhelmed with happiness that you started laughing?? BTS makes me do that on a regular basis."

"for me bts is the representation of brotherhood/family. They have been together for more than 10 years, they have known each other so well, in other words, they are like brothers who support and love each other no matter what and i think that's sweet because in our society people tend to judge this kind of friendships by calling them "gay". However, you know what's the best thing? That they don't care about what people say about them, they still behave the same way with each other and that's what makes me love them even more."

"Basically like home. I know they're extremely chaotic but there's this sense of peace in my heart that I found them."

"Always make me swoon."

"There really is no better word for me to explain how those seven young men from South Korea make me feel. I don't feel any other band I followed/stan in the past years ever felt as comforting (and familiar, in a way) as BTS does. Whenever I feel like I'm about to fall into a bad mental state, or I'm bored/sad or I just want to distract myself from this real world, I listen to their music or watch a run bts episode or even a compilation of their best/funniest/most comforting moments and feel better. No matter what, they always manage to make me smile and bring me the same comfort I would feel as my closest friend hugged me for hours."

"they were there for me through some really hard times, i don't know what i would've done without them."

"i’m a baby army (got interested in them after grammys 2022) and i haven’t been this happy in a while, watching random yt videos of them, listening to their songs and their meaning. for me it’s like a ray of sunshine everytime. i don’t have army friends yet so i can’t have pretty much no one to talk abt this so i just make my friends/bf listen to my daily rants about them haha"

"because they make me happy."

"BTS encourages me to love myself. BTS loves me and other ARMY even without meeting most of us. They love us so much that they tell us to stop listening to their music, watching their videos, etc. and go do important things like homework, work, or spending time with family and friends. BTS loves us so much that they want to give all ARMYs a free concert. BTS loves us so much that they post little updates of their lives when they know we're missing them. BTS loves us so much that they use us to love themselves. BTS loves us so much that they call us their best friends, their butterflies, and their stars. BTS loves us so much that they've created a community of people who respect each other like brothers and sisters even if they don't know each other personally (ARMY). BTS' love has created social movements for change and has donated so much money for the greater good. This love is truly pure and genuine, and I have never felt such a love from someone so far away, never mind from an artist to a fan. It doesn't matter that we're hemispheres apart, because I feel like they are with me and I am with them. This love is why BTS makes me feel loved."

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