#i've fostered for a few years now but this is the first time in our new apartment!

[hiirenvirna]

tragic news: two guys ruthlessly bully little kitty cat every day

#doodle #comic diary #we got two foster cats recently :) they are sillyyy #i've fostered for a few years now but this is the first time in our new apartment!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I start giving some very *very* Christian family members religious pamphlets from non-Christian religions as gifts?

To be clear, I am writing this while firmly believing I'm NTA but I am angry and don't trust my own judgment too much right now.

Background and Players: My Son (19) was adopted out as a baby by his incubator behind (my husband, 40) his father's back. He was abandoned at 4 by his adopted family because of behavioral issues related to what his incubator was putting into her body while she was pregnant with him, and went into foster care with people I will call Amom and Adad. Adad is a pastor in his 90s and Amom is a pastor's wife in her 80s. When Son was 13 and I had been with Husband for 5ish years, we had been told (by someone from his incubator's family but we didn't know that at the time) he was non-verbal and "mentally an infant" and that trying to pull him out of the routine he had would just be incredibly harmful to him, so we had given up hope of finding him and having a relationship with him. We got a phone call one day, a worker who was looking for a medical history for Son. Husband spent close to 3 hours on the phone with her, answering questions and asking anything he could squeeze in. Turns out, we had been lied to about his mental health just... completely. He's impossible to shut up and he graduated high school last year despite, you know, *gestures vaguely at everything* and I am incredibly proud of him. Half an hour after that call ended, she called back and told us Son might be interested in meeting us, was it okay for her to pass on our contact info. A month later, Son, Amom, Adad, Husband and I were sitting in a restaurant together and a month after that we went to their place for a week to spend Christmas with them. This is when they informed us that they had finalized his legal adoption a couple of weeks earlier. 2 years after that, my QPP moved in with us, and another year later 16 year old Son asked if he could move in with us. He still does.

The Issue: Son wants a continuing relationship with Amom and Adad, but due to the previously mentioned substances used by his incubator, he has memory and time management issues so I have to regularly remind him to contact them. I have no problem doing this, but the contact we have had with them over the last few years has soured me on their company. I've got no problem reminding Son to contact them and organizing rides for him to visit (usually QPP and I driving him, the trip is a couple of hours each way) but I'd rather never speak to them myself if it can be avoided. It didn't start out this way, but over the years they have made it very clear that they don't respect anyone else's beliefs. Not just us, like there was one night where they were going off about some Danish surgeon saying publicly that he was Muslim first, Danish second, and they were trying to convince us to be terrified by that. The conversation ended awkwardly when Husband asked if Adad was Nationality or Christian first (because that's different you see). We have found books on the bookshelves in the guest room about how any kind of queerness at all is demonic possession, one of which they wrote. They talk about things like being sent on a mission by their god to save as many (and I hate that these are quotes) "brown heathen children" by making them Christians as possible (Son and his adopted siblings are all First Nations, Amom and Adad are as white as I am), or how Jewish people are evil for stopping Christians from claiming their suffering because "Jesus was a Jew so aren't all Christians also Jews?". Amom once spent a week trying to convince me to go to church with her and share the details of my childhood sexual abuse with the entire congregation because "it will show God you are ready to be forgiven". QPP is a shintoist and after they found that out, we started seeing more literature about the Japanese, specifically during WWII, around their house when we visited.

We have politely made it clear that we are not interested in Christianity, especially not their version. Multiple times. We thought it was finally over after Son had a meltdown at them at his graduation ceremony because he wanted JUST ONE conversation with them that wasn't about Jesus. He was in tears trying to explain that to them, and their response was to tell him he needed to come back to church so they could lay on hands and chase all the demons making him say these horrible disrespectful things to them out of him. He was supposed to stay with them for a few days to visit after that, but by the time I tracked him down and got him calm, he didn't want to go anymore. They seemed to stop after that, like they actually backed off and I think I got maybe 2 emails that didn't mention God or Jesus, not even a "God bless" in the sign off. We were optimistic. Son was late organizing it but we dropped him off (at his request, he's worried that Adad won't make it to next Christmas and wanted to see him) at their place on Boxing Day. We did not hang around, we did not send gifts, we didn't even reply to the Family Christmas Email (it had a video of a Jordan B Peterson rant embedded in it and I've told them before that we are not interested in anything that sack of hateful arrogance has to say please stop putting him in my inbox). We have done everything we can to make it clear that we do not want a relationship with them for ourselves, including outright directly telling them politely to their faces that we will not stop Son from seeing them but we don't feel comfortable around them and don't want a relationship with them for ourselves. Son came back with "gifts" from them - a study guide for a specific Bible book (I got John, Husband got Michael, QPP set his on fire before we saw who it was) and a bag of candy that looked like it came out of a thrift store (I got the same one they always get me, which I laughed off the first and second and third time and explained I couldn't stand them because my abuser used to give me one when he was done. Husband is diabetic and got York Patties. QPP actually got something decent though, $20 for gas).

I have managed to keep my "I'd rather you hadn't bothered actually" rantingvto Tumblr, which i don't think they even know exists, but I'm still pissed about the Bible crap as "gifts". I am considering changing tactics completely and being super friendly, mirroring their energy, and giving them the same treatment they've given us. I want to make excuses to visit so I can explain the finer points of shintoism and Celtic paganism in every single conversation. I want to give them books for gifts, books like The Tao of Pooh and The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I want to wrap cash in pamphlets about The Invisible Pink Unicorn and leave it on their fridge.

QPP and husband think I should give myself more time to calm down and just keep ignoring it and playing nice when I'm forced to play at all but like, IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[marsipaniscool]

I have to ask about your thoughts on how kars was radicalized because i've seen the wham post and now I'm curious

:D! okie dokie! 1.7k words of young kars angst is served hot and ready! also slight esikars in part 2 ! :) TW: brief description of violence [1/2] under the cut for length

(I will be assuming that Kars' former tribe is the only pillar tribe on earth, I simply haven't thought about other tribes :,) ) SO let's start with just a general overview of Kars' life. He's 103,000 years old, according to the wiki. It's mentioned several times, both directly and indirectly (Wamuu and Santana's ages now vs. when they were shown to have been taken at infancy), that the pillar tribe was only slaughtered by Esidisi and Kars 10,000 years ago. So, that's 93,000 years Kars spent with his tribe being abused and chastised.

The pillar tribe was a small and tight-knit community with few distinctions politically, economically, or socially. This social wealth fostered an attitude of peace towards nature, humans, and themselves. The tribe had long made peace with their inability to bask in the sun, fostering a story similar to that of Abrahamic Adam and Eve. A group of pillar people upset the sun god, and, as punishment, their people were banished from the sun for all eternity. Surviving the night of life was necessary for the light of the afterlife.

Kars, when he came of age, followed in his family's footsteps and became an apprentice to his father in natural philosophy, with a focus on medicinal alchemy. He didn't mind, having had an interest in science for as long as he could remember. His parents, masters of the subject, lovingly fostered this interest. Every star and constellation, every planet, every asteroid band, everything in the night sky he knew. He knew the clouds too—that odd shade of grey. He wasn't fond of them very much; they blocked out the stars.

It started with irritation at having to rush miles into the forest surrounding the temples at dusk, just to hope to get to the blossoms he needed for his latest project. He often failed, the flowers long since pruned by the creatures of the light. Even a scrap of a petal seldom remained for Kars.

That irritation became anger when the humans who worshiped them would have sun-kissed skin, and the children would still smell of the ocean waves. They'd laugh and tell stories of how warm and lovely it was. He rushed out into the evening one day, as soon as it was safe, only to feel heat boil in his chest as the air around him grew colder, no longer warmed by the sun. To indulge in the sun, all of it, to be able to feel the warmth on his skin and to be burned, if even for a moment, was all he desired. He wanted to pick the flowers and the fruits that flourished during the day and feel the life flow through them—life given by the sun.

It bothered him greatly that he came from the flesh of the earth, the same as any creature, yet he and his people are the only ones to be cursed like this. He doesn't understand why they're so complacent or why they're so accepting of their fate in the darkness.

First, he goes to his father, the man who spoiled him and loved him his entire life. He paces around frustratedly, hands running through his hair, horns fully protruding, and lets out centuries of buried anger. His father stops him mid-sentence with a hand, laughing loudly.

"The sun isn't a friend, nor is it a foe. It's not something to be feared nor conquered. It simply is not our dominion. While the moon doesn't hurt the humans that worship us, many fear it and the darkness it heralds. They tell stories of monsters, of horrific demonic creatures in the night. The sun is their dominion, as the moon is ours."

Kars went to the elders, only to be met with recommendations to visit the tribe's shaman and to be induced into a lengthy meditation with their moon goddess.

He was infuriated now. Why didn't anyone understand? Whenever he brought up concerns he deemed worthwhile, they were dismissed with, "This is just how things are!"

Word spread quickly among the small tribe, with the older men coming to mock him every morning and evening when he would head out to see the last rays of the sun peaking over the horizon. It escalated to outright mockery wherever he would go. At meals: "Is this food as warm as the sun?" Whenever he would wear jewelry of the sun, he was boisterously, cruelly laughed at, and had it ripped off of him. He used to love wearing gold, the colour of the sun; it complimented his hair and complexion so well, he thought. His tribe laughed at him and dirtied his garments with mud, rotted meat, and whatever vile fluids and liquidy things that were within reach. Black was the colour of the night, and it didn't show the stains. He started wearing his hair up, first in braids, then in buns, then in his wraps. He was tired of it getting mucked up, tangled, yanked, and abused.

One night he entered the galley, and as he stood on the stone pedestal overlooking the table, he realised there was no seat for him. He left as silent as he came.

#jjba #jjba part 2 #jjba battle tendency #battle tendency #jjba fanfic #kars #esidisi #wamuu #santana #pillar men #jjba headcanons #pillar men headcanons #kars headcanons #esidisi headcanons #esikars #young kars #my writing #pillar boyfies <3 :)

[yakumtsaki]

Continuing to part 2, part 1 here!

Laksmhi gives us Gallagher Newson and they have 3 bolts! I've been playing the Tinkers because Melody is like 150yo and it'd be too sad to have them outlive their only kid. They both wanted a baby but were a few days from elderhood so I had them foster the Newsons in their giant house! It's such a wholesome household to play, like literally the exact opposite of this one.

Gallagher is super cute and I'd normally consider him for spouse but thanks to Barth's ridic 20 woohoo LTW all we want here is to get our first kiss and bounce. Will we do it???

-NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT🐺

YOU. GTFO RIGHT NOW

-NOT A CHANCE, I'M HERE TO PICK UP MY OLD HOBBY OF COCKBLOCKING🐺

-And we're here to help! -The wolf that is, not our son!

FFS. Despite all this malicious sabotage-

-which at some point included Liz playing catch with the wolf, which Jojo only got him to do after like 30 years-

-this went really well! Not Felina-Meadow tier well, but well for Barth subterranean standards..

..Gallagher even got a crush on him from one little flirt! Cute!

We take our date Downtown to seal the deal, everything is going great-

-Bartholomew is pulling these impressive moves.. and then.. FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON..

I CURSE YOU, SHAJAR'S PERSONALITY PANEL. I CURSE YOU TO DAMNATION

-How dare you not accept my flirting! -YOU JUST PUT ME IN A HEADLOCK, FREAK -What's your point!

-Look at these shameless idiots dancing! Gross! I'd have to be like.. 200% drunker than I am right now to even consider it! -You're drunk?? -You're not?? Man if I was a broke orphan I'd be drunk all the time. Which I am. Drunk all the time, I mean, not a broke orphan. -I'm outta here. -WHAT! WHY!

Welp, we still got our first kiss thanks to the automated goodbye kiss thing that I finally have to get the mod that disables it because it pisses me off. But whatever, a win all around!

-Hi, Grandpa >:( -What's wrong, Bartholomew? -I WISH I WAS DEAD

-This is exactly what I was worried about when your mother married into that trash family, look at you.. -What! There's nothing wrong with me! -Nothing? Really?? The correct form is 'I wish I WERE dead'! -WHO CARES -Clearly not your dimwitted, Union-gene inflicted self! -OH THAT'S IT, GET READY TO RUMBLE

-I can't believe Grandpa Ti-Ning beat me up! This is the worst day of my life!

At least you have Jimbo!

-Yes, yes I do.. It'd definitely make me feel better seeing the shock and betrayal in his eyes as I choke him to death.. -Ha, like you can get your tiny hands around my thick-ass neck, pussyboi, I'll bite your entire head off! Now shut up and clean off this manure I've been rolling in, and look at me in the eyes while you do it!! -..I need a drink.

Yes you do, I mean if this is how your life is gonna go you might as well be drunk.

Sandy has found a new dog bestie in Veronica to the point she completely missed work to stay and play with her-

-while iVan is team Wendi!

-𝙸 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙸𝚃, 𝚆𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙸; 𝙸 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙶𝙰𝙶𝙴𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙱𝙸𝙳𝙳𝙴𝙽 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙰𝙵𝙵𝙰𝙸𝚁;

-𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄, 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈, 𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙱𝙾 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚆𝙴𝙽𝙳𝚈; -JI̸M̵BO B̴E̶L̴O̶N̴G̸S W̴I̷T̵H V̵E̸R̷O̵N̵IC̷A̶, Y̴O̵U̶ AN̷D̷ YO̵U̵R̵ C̷A̵T AR̸E B̵O̴T̶H PE̴RV̶E̷RT̵S🧟‍♀️

-Forget it, Jim, it's Uniontown.

As I'm intently watching the billionth iVan-Sandy fight the fighting window pops up again-

-and sure enough, THIS BETTE/JOAN SHIT HAS ESCALATED. I 1000% blame Barflina.

Bruh. Not only did Sophie lose-

-but her disloyal hoe wife immediately went to chat with Liz after! SHAJAR FFS

-What! I'm allowed to socialize with whoever I want and I happen to like Liz! It's not because I have some deep-seated resentments toward Sophie or anything!

It's ok, Soph, you'll always have your pets💛

-And my pets will have Eliza's heart for dinner💛

Can't blame you💛

It's officially time to fuck off for college as there's some glitched bill on the lot and we got repo'ed despite not owing anything! Gross!

-HA! I TAKE YOUR POOL LIGHT. I TAKE IT

For a moment I thought you were taking Glitched Butler #7!

You know what, take Shajar while you're here. BITCH FFS

-What!

You've talked more to Liz since she beat up Sophie than you have the entire time you've known her!

-That's a complete coincidence!

Ya well when you get fed to the dogs it'll be a complete coincidence too!

Alright we're outta here, college time for Barflina. Can't say I'm looking forward to it!

-Anything to get me into Meadow's arms and away from Grandma Victoria's batshit ghost!

-THAT URN-SMASHING BRAT IS NOT WINNING THE HEIRSHIP AS LONG AS I LIVE👻

Vic, I don't know how to tell you this, but you are not currently living. Well, I guess you metaphorically ~live through~ Barflina.

-GROSS. I'D RATHER BE DEAD👻

See you at La Fiesta!

#gen 4 #long post #ts2

[deadn30n]

happy early 2024 !

posted a bit early as i'll be going to bed relatively soon, but i wanted to say something to usher in the new year!

as some of you know, i've been in the RPC for a very long time, but took a well needed hiatus a year or so back. i only recently returned mid-November && have not regretted that decision for a second. ♥ it's only been a month and a half, but it's been the best month and a half i've ever spent on this site. i admit i was nervous to return for a variety of reason ( mostly avoiding some rather negative people i originally split from this site to escape from ) but i've come to find that this space space i've built has fostered so much positivity for me, and i'm very grateful for that. i'm grateful for all the new friends i've made, all the connections i've forged, the writing i've done, and the plots i've gotten to explore! && as the new year approaches, i'm walking it into with quite a few new aspirations and hopes. i'm really, really thankful to everyone who's given me the time and chance to reach out and make a connection. to the people who've talked to me and told me they're excited for the release of my book, for my return to the vtubing community, for the times we play games together and just goof off.

i hope you know how much you all mean to me. i wish i could tag EVERYONE in this post but tumblr would kick my ass, but just know that i'm truly and honestly grateful and honored to have met the people that i have and look forward to talking more with all of you and getting to know you better. there are a few people i want to single out to shower with love who've supported me or have even known me from the LAST TIME i was on the site lmao

@goldenfists : you should already know you'd be the first on my list Joo Joo Bean. my beloved. we've known each other for what... 3 years now? roughly that, give or take, but you have no idea how much you really mean to me. from the moment we met i knew you were someone i wanted to keep in my circle. i adored you and still do; you've seen the changes i've gone through, the growth i've made, and supported every positive decision i've made. even when i finally built my first oc, and your first incentive was to foster a relationship between sett and eden and letting me know that you LOVED my creatives when i was so scared to take that first dive into making an oc. i love you so much dude. ;_; i'll never forget how you teased me on stream about my pronunciation of your name but then insisted i kept pronouncing it like that because you thought it was cute. i wish you knew just how much you mean to me, because words aren't enough to justify my feelings toward you. i love you Joo Joo Bean, i love you to the moon and back, and i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store for you and i, and our little blorbos @empyreous : ELLE!!!11 ELLE!!!!1 MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME ON LEAGUE!!!! we haven't known each other for very long but god have i LOVED writing with you and goofing off in my favourite games. you've given me a brand new love for league and you're so fucking talented with your ocs and your writing that i'm just chomping at the bit for us to keep going. i literally can't wait to see what we end up developing for these silly little dudes and it makes me so very happy to have you in my corner. i wish you only the best in the world and i'm certain 2024 will give us so many more funny memories to cherish. save me eboi.... eboi save me....

@seeksmoon / @seekslight : softie you loveable little shit. you boyfriend stealing monster ( affectionate ). actually, if i was gonna share my boyfriend with anyone, it'd gladly be you. BUT JOKES ASIDE i'm really delighted we met and hit it off as well as we did. the way you write both alune and lux have me going GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK and i adore the dynamics we've started to built between yonealune and ezlux. we haven't had nearly enough time to hang out yet and that's a fucking CRIME if you ask me. i'm sure come 2024 though we'll have plenty of time to be a couple of goobers and mess around in league here on tumblr. you're such a sweetheart and even my bf talks so positively of you, and anyone that can make him happy makes ME happy. i hope you know you won't get rid of him and i so easily ♥ we enjoy hanging out with you, and we hope you do too :>

@ayahimes : astrid u ain't getting away from me i'm rapidly approaching ur location at mach 10. LFKDJASLKJDF i'm teasing i'm teasing but MAN i've had so much fun playing weague of wegends with you ( and looking forward to when we start playing ffxiv too ) but you're such a sweetheart man. a good energy, positive presence that i love being around ;v; i hope we'll get to play more in the future and chat more and get to know each other!! ♥♥♥

@mellodiies : misha all i'm gonna say is this year... you will be boiled.... ( this ask forever lives rent free in my head and i'm never going to stop laughing at this i hope you know ) ok but in all seriousness i'm so glad i worked up the courage to follow your blog because it's been a bucket of laughs and also seeing one of my childhood faves being doted over so lovingly just makes me so!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this year we'll be able to write ( and even if we don't i'm also content just observing your shenanigans bc they always brighten my day ). thank you for filling my dash with the little pep in my day that i need, you're a fucking goober and i adore you for it

@vulpesse : hi bunnie!! we never really got much of a chance to chat before ( we did get to write a bit in the past though, which i enjoyed! ) but i want you to know that you are one of my biggest inspirations on this site and i was so goddamn happy when i found you again that i hit the follow button so fast i think i broke my finger LMAO but seriously.... you're great. you have such a wonderful energy about you and you're so unbelievably talented with an indomitable spirit. i love seeing your posts every day, and i'm glad to share this same space as you! ♥ please never change, you truly are such a bright light in an otherwise murky world

@heartate : plum u know i couldn't forget about my favourite edgy thot. i fuckin love u dude. it's crazy to think we've known each other for like what? 10 years? like christ. and even though those first few years weren't filled with the happiest of memories, it's been my honor to be able to make amends with you. i always appreciated you for approaching me with that heartfelt apology. i never resented you, and even less so now that i knew the kind of awful situation you were put through back then. you didn't deserve the pain and abuse you went through, and i'm glad you're finally able to break free and grow. flourish and fill the world with your light, because you're a good person and i firmly stick by that notion. no matter what happened between us in the past, you've grown and i've adored watching it. i only hope you'll be able to continue to grow and enjoy the newfound freedom you have, and i am glad to be able to be by your side through it ♥ i'll always have your back miss rina, you can count on that :>

&& to some other lovelies who've made my time pleasant here; @lightshielded / @yoakkemae / @chiheru / @fairesky / @darkflyers / @attroxx / @mythcaels / @knifvd / @killerhubby / @erabundus / @mundmutter / @goddessrisen / @inhumann / @penddraig / @hiisfire / @raytm / @elicertis / @liightbringr / @un1awful / @vonerde / @gunrising / @cyneris / @trattcria / @cmdrace / @lovehungered / @trattcria / @pearlcure / @dnangelic / @starsenna / @nulltune / @toxichem / @longerhuman / @volonata / @misreputed / @ferinehuntress / @florspinae / @inufangs / @bishonenprince

&& to all of my lovely followers too! ♥ may your new year be filled with all the joy and love you deserve. may the new year treat you kindly and give you solace when you need it most. may the new year bless you with every bit of happiness you deserve c:

#« ooc tag. » #I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST LMAO #i decided to put it under a cut to spare you all #but ilu guys AAAAA

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Hello

Can I please request a mando( din djarin ) x male reader fic

A male reader who used to be a medic and tends to dins wounds and din confesses that he loves him

Hell ya! First Star Wars Request!

If you wanna request something go ahead though it might take me a bit

(Also I love this idea so much)

Word Count: 2.3k

Main Masterlist

I tried to describe the reader's body as little as possible so it's accessible to more people :)

To The Outer Rim And Back

For the last five years your life had been a mess.

For years your only goal was to destroy the empire and now that the empire was no more you had no idea what to do.

You'd been a field medic in the rebellion, you'd never thought about what you'd do once the empire was actually gone but here you were. Both deathstars were destroyed, the emperor was dead, a new galactic republic was established and you had to figure out what to do with your life.

You traveled for a time, seeing the sights and exploring the galaxy on your own terms for the first time in your life.

You even helped establish a few free medbay clinics in the outer rim with the help of the new republic but it wasn't the same. you still yearned for adventure. The adrenaline rush of a fight is something you almost felt ashamed of missing, after all you fought to bring peace back to the galaxy.

Although things weren't all bad, your clinics were the reason you first met Din. Although you didn't know his name then.

He came into your clinic on Nevarro because what you assumed was his foster son- Grogu was acting off.

He immediately stood out with is mandalorian armour among the uniformed staff and dully dressed villagers.

One of the nurses you'd trained- Alma- tried to help him but she was out of her depth and had no idea what to do so she came to get you.

You put on a fresh pair of gloves and smiled at Grogu.

"Hello there little guy" You told him as you approached him and he cooed.

"What seems to be the problem?" You asked the nervous man, you couldn't read his expressions through his helmet but you weren't the least bit intimidated.

That was the first thing he noticed about you. Your confidence never waivered. Most people were terrified to see him for the first time (including the nurse who'd tried to help him earlier) but not you.

"He hasn't been feeling well, he's not eating as much as he normally does" He said and you nodded asking Grogu to open his mouth so you could examine his throat.

"Well I've never seen a being like him but the computer should be able to identify the problem, he doesn't seem violently sick so it's probably just a stomach bug" You told the mandalorian calmly as you scanned Grogu.

"Well it's not a bug" You told him while looking at the results of the scan on your data pad.

"Is it worse?" He asked and you laughed. He decided he liked your laugh.

"No, he probably ate something that didn't sit right with him- didn't you little one" You said, turning to Grogu and petting him.

"Developmentally he's a toddler and most species have a stage where they put practically anything they can get your hands on in their mouths" You explained and the mandalorian nodded.

"But besides that he's perfectly healthy, you should be proud" You told him and you couldn't see his smile from under his helmet but it was there.

"I am" He told you.

"It'll probably pass on it's own in a few days, if it doesn't come back here and ask for Y/N L/N" You told him.

"Who's that?" He asked and you chuckled. He liked when you did that.

"That's my name" You told him as you handed him your data pad.

"Now just sign here please so we can log this visit in our system Mr. Mandalorian" You said and he nodded.

As he walked out with Grogu in his arms as the child played with the small toy you gave young kids after their appointments at the clinic.

you looked down at the data pad he signed. You weren't expecting him to write his actual name there, after all he didn't even take his helmet off to talk to you but you smiled when you saw he wrote Din Djarin. You had no way of knowing if it was his real name but it was good enough for you.

Several days later he came back to tell you Grogu was feeling much better but when he came into the clinic you were nowhere in sight. One of your colleagues pointed him in the direction of an office in the back of the clinic when he asked for you.

He carefully opened the door and was surprised to see you applying bacta spray to an area on your stomach. He stayed still in the doorway, feeling as though he was intruding on a private moment but he couldn't look away.

You were shirtless sitting on a cot in the side of the room and he could see a plethora of healed scars littering your torso.

"You can come in you know" You said, still not looking up from what you were doing.

He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself before coming in.

"I didn't mean to intrude" He said and you could hear the embarrassment even through his modulated voice.

"Don't worry about it, it's good to see you again Din" You told him, still not looking up from your work. It was the first time you'd addressed him by his name, he liked hearing you say his name.

"How can I help you?" You asked him.

"I uh- I came to say thank you. The kid's feeling a lot better now" He said and you smiled.

"That's great" You told him finally done with your task. You put your shirt back on and looked at him.

"Is that all?" You asked, he was looking at you- you weren't sure why.

"Those scars..." He said, trailing off and you smiled understandingly.

"I was a field medic with the rebellion for a long time" You explained.

"I'm sure you have your fair share as well" You said, trying to steer away the conversation. He nodded.

"I guess I just- You don't seem like a soldier" He said and you smirked.

"What can I say, I'm full of surprises" You joked.

----

Din stopped by quite a few times after that. Sometimes because his allies were injured and sometimes because he himself was (though not often).

You saw him around town besides that and you learned more about him. He told you he was a foundling and you learned more about his creed.

"You know, I've met a few mandalorians before but I've never met one like you" You told him once as you patched up a minor burn he got while he was out on a hunt.

He liked you. A lot. But even more than that he trusted you. And when he found out from Cara that you were leaving he immediately went to talk to you.

"Hey Din-" You greeted him when he came into the clinic but he simply stared you down from behind his helmet.

"You're leaving?" He asked and you sighed.

"Hey Alma! Can you cover me for a few minutes?" You asked one of the other workers as you led Din to your office.

He followed you silently.

"Yes" You finally answered him once you were both inside the room.

"Why?" He asked and you sighed again, sitting down on the cot in your office. A few months ago you would have told him a joke about being a free spirit but you knew him too well not to explain yourself now.

"When we won- and the empire fell, it was the first time in my life that I wasn't fighting. When I was a kid it was the clone wars, then the empire and the rebellion and now- I don't know" You explained, leaning against the wall, your legs crossed on the cot.

"I've never not been fighting, I don't know how to manage it" You told him and looked at him. "I've never stayed in one place so long" You continued.

"If it's the fighting you miss you can come with us" Din finally said and you looked at him, confused.

"You can come with me and the kid, it would be nice to have someone else with us, especially a medic" He explained and you took a moment to think about it.

"You'd let me join you on bounties?" You asked and Din nodded.

"You look like you can make yourself useful" He said and you scoffed.

"Gee thanks" You said. You couldn't see the shift in Din's face but it was there. He didn't mean to offend you.

"That's not what I- I didn't mean" He tried to explain but you laughed.

"It's fine Din, I'd love to" You told him, putting your hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

----

You traveled with him for a while after that and stayed with him after Grogu left with Luke Skywalker to continue his jedi training.

You were camping out on in a forest one day, passing the time until a shuttle would arrive to take you to Din's next job. You loved these calm moments with Din. He was a few feet away from you training with his recently acquired dark saber while you went through the few supplies you had left. Since the Razor Crest was destroyed you had to travel significantly lighter.

Suddenly you heard a hiss and a thud. When you looked up you saw Din was limping back to you with a cut on his thigh.

"Din!" You exclaimed, running over to help him walk.

"I look away for a second" You scold him but stop when he groans.

"Sorry" He says and you sigh and you sit him down and take out a med kit.

"It's fine, you should be more careful, that thing's dangerous" You tell him, referring to the darksaber.

"I'll be fine, you always fix me up just fine" He says and you scoff.

"You're lucky this is just a graze and lightsabers cauterize their cuts on impact" You told him as you applied a bacta spray as well as a numbing cream to lessen the pain.

"I'm serious though, you have to be more careful with that thing. You don't have the training to handle it" You told him as you wrapped his leg.

"That's why I'm training with it, it just gets heavier ever time" He said and you looked through his vizor at this eyes.

"It isn't just a sword Din. It's a lightsaber, they have specific forms and techniques specifically so that you don't accidentally hurt yourself" You told him.

"You're speaking from experience" Din pointed out and you nodded, moving to sit beside him.

"I knew someone who wielded it once" You explained and he looked at you waiting for you to continue.

"Sabine Wren. She was part of the rebellion. She won it in combat from Gar Saxon and I saw her fight with it a few times she was- well she was amazing. The darksaber was practically an extension of herself, but she only got there because she was taught by a jedi" You explained and Din nodded.

"Well I don't have a jedi" Din said and looked at you, he could see you were worried.

"I'll be fine. I have you" He said and you smiled.

"You better be" You told him and smiled. He loved seeing your smile. He's always loved it but since it's been just the two of you it's been different. A good different. He enjoyed this time with you and hoped you did as well.

"Din?" You asked, he was awfully quiet and practically staring at you. You wouldn't have noticed it when you first met but you spent so much time with him by now that you could read him even without seeing his face.

"I'm fine" He said but you looked unconvinced.

"You were staring" You told him. It was moments like these that he was glad for his helmet, he was glad you couldn't see the blush that spread over his cheeks. Unfortunately for him you didn't need to see him blush to know he was embarrassed.

"You've been doing that a lot lately...You like what you see?" You teased and you could practically hear Din sputtering. You chuckled and adjusted yourself against him. You'd already become accustomed to his armour, the harshness of it didn't bother you anymore.

"Yes" He finally says and you smile, leaning your head against his shoulder.

"I stare at you sometimes too" You tell him and Din smiled bellow his helmet.

"I know" He says and you smile as well.

"Y/n-" He starts to say and you just nod.

"I know Din" You tell him, knowing exactly what he was going to say. After the months of caring for each other and the being who had become a son to the both of them You knew exactly what Din wanted to express.

He loved you.

Just like you love him. You'd never felt either of you had to say it until know but Grogu no longer being there changed a lot for you both.

"I love you" Din said anyway and you smiled, leaning closer to the bounty hunter who'd wormed his way into your life, who'd helped you feel whole again and loved you even with your strange longing for front line life.

"I've loved you for a long time" He says and you nod once again so he knows you heard him.

"I love you too Din, to the farthest planet in the Outer Rim and back" You told him and he chuckled.

He took your hand in his, guiding your fingers into his as you looked out at the forest. He brought your hand to his face, raising his helmet slightly and kissing your hand.

"To the farthest planet of the Outer Rim and back" He repeated.

#star wars x reader #reader insert #star wars #star wars imagine #the mandolarian #the mandolorian x reader #din djarin x male reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin #mando #grogu #the child #male reader #star wars x male reader #medic reader

[newtonsheffield]

nothing good starts has so much offside vibes i just cant!! please tell kate is going to kill it in her job and everyone is gonna love it and then all fans are going to be thrilled when they get together!!

The thing is: She did only sign a one year contract with Bridgerton Family Racing. Mostly because it was what she wanted and it would give both parties a clean cut if it wasn't working out. Only issue being: It is working out phenomenally. Anthony's finished one race outside the top 4 and that was when he was involved in a pretty serious scrap that wasn't his fault in which Carlos Sainz rolled over the top of him and there were a few flames.

And now other teams are circling because they've learned that Kate does only have a one year contract and Anthony's in his dad's office like-

"She's the only engineer I've ever clicked with, just give her whatever she wants!"

"Kate knows we want to reup her contract, and I've offered her five years, she has a right to weigh her options, Anthony."

And Edmund's getting asked about it more and more leading to him just sighing.

"Of course we want Kate to stay with us, we've had incredible results this season and I feel, and I hope Kate feels as well that we're building something really special there. We've got a great record of fostering young talent and I hope that this is something we can continue with Kate. But at the end of the day, it's her choice to make and if she feels it's time to move on family is built into the core of what we do over at BFR. It's in our name it's in the way we treat our team and once a part of that family: always a part of that family and we'll wish her all the best."

And part of him genuinely doesn't believe he's going to be able to keep Kate at Bridgerton until she walks into his office one day and clears her throat, "Do you still want five more years?"

"I want about 25 more but we can start with 5."

Meanwhile, fans are going a little bit rabid because they can see the growing tension between Kate and Anthony. There's the flirty comments and the way he gets out of the car and hugs her first, and the way he always leans right over the balcony while the team drags her forward to get sprayed with champagne. There's the way he'll be walking by her giving an interview and just join in. The videos on his social media of Kate with her coveralls on and her hands in the engine of her car captioned, Yes daddy.

Everyone's pretty convinced they're well on their way to being something more. And it's fascinating to watch.

But imagine the other team principals watching Anthony declare his undying love for Kate right there on the podium and the bloody season's not even finished yet but no one can catch him on points and it's very sweet actually: but they know they're never getting Kate away from BFR now.

"They could split up. Could get nasty."

"He just asked her to be the mother of his children. They're never splitting up."

And Edmund's just grinning ear to ear. Mostly he's happy that young love prevailed, of course, of course that's it. But maybe he now knows he's got a great engineer who'd make a great team principal one day locked in forever and that's a reason to smile too.

#nothing good starts #kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #molly’s asks and answers

[alicentsgf]

the bond between rhaenyra and alicent is crazy. by the point the dinner happens and viserys dies theyve been enemies longer than theyd been friends. everyone has perfectly good reasons to think they would no longer care about each other. otto is the only one truly paying attention, and therefore he kinda knows. hell, even alicent and rhaenyra seem to be taken aback by each other at times. the years they spent living at the keep together must have been insane

this is the thing though (and i've said this before and i'll say it again!) - we're given plenty of evidence to suggest rhaenyra and alicent were so built into each others lives prior to alicent marrying viserys that they were basically one entity. alicent was rhaenyra's childhood companion they were always together, like to the point of unhealthy codependency lmao, thats just the nature of it; it was just them, no other playmates or classmates or friends. just them. together. always. likely from a very young age. and we know they were at least some form of in love with each other, i think thats been confirmed enough at this point for me to say that without needing to argue my point.

and then they get torn apart and maybe dont say one genuinely kind thing to each other for years. but the issue is they only hated each other so much because they loved each other so much first. every unkind act is based in 'i loved you and you betrayed me', 'i loved you and you hurt me', 'i still love you and apparently it doesnt matter' and they can never really hope to reconcile the amount they loved and depended on each other because they never get any closure for it so they just keep loving each other underneath it all and using that pain to foster their resentment of each other. their shared past is just a gaping bloody wound and its never going to heal.

and you're right its not actually that surprising that so few people see the truth of it because rhaenyra and alicents past is only kept alive in them and openly disparage each other for decades and they never speak about their past to anyone (that we see). as ive pointed out previously daemon and criston are their respective confidantes and theres no way they would feel comfortable sharing any of the lingering positive feelings they have for one another with either of them.

and sorry for the tangent but just linking back to my earlier posts today: i do still think the evolution of their relationship was a bit rushed/whiplash inducing (as quite a few elements were, that was the sacrifice made to keep the pace up). they came back too easily from the brink in a way that seemed overly narratively advantageous to rhaenyra - but regardless their story still holds up in a way i cant help but find ridiculously compelling. i still think making this change was a great way to critique the nature of the source material because now you have these two women at the centre of this story who are unquestionably victims and had so little choice and i know some people dont like that because its uncomfortable or w/e and certainly the execution leaves a bit to be desired but to me it just seems unrealistic for them to be anything else? look at the world they live in. the reality they face. we see time and time again in our own world women strive to collaborate and build bridges and men tear them down and pit women against each other and i dont think its reductive or psuedo-feminist to make that phenomenon a central aspect of this story when its set in such a heavily patriarchal world.

#sorry i just ...took this and ran with it #lots of feelings today #rhaenicent #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd critical #ask #anon

[voicesandthoughts]

As someone who has posted Swiftie content and identified as one - and as a white person with a considerable amount of privilege - I felt a need to speak on the situation with Matty Healy. If nothing else, to catch some people up or get it off my own chest.

Let's start with the facts. Matty did a nazi salute at a concert, insulted ice spice for her race and body. He has been known, or at least accused of being racist, anti-semitic, and misogynistic in the past. It has been publicly shared that this man watches 🌽 of colored women being subject to humiliation, degradation, and violence. During this conversation, he and a group proceeded to make fun of “fat black women". This is the TIP of the iceberg.

As for Taylor.

Who you hang out with tells alot about your own person. It is telling as to what you are okay with happening or okay remaining ignorant to. She told us in Daylight that she wants to be known and defined for what she loves. Right now, she is choosing a harmful and ignorant definition. As someone who agrees with that voice memo, that we should be defined by our love, she is not someone I feel comfortable fully aligning myself with as I have in the past. Any support to this aspect of her personal life reflects on the supporter and sends a clear message to your community. It really sucks, I've been a Swifte since I was a kid, but maybe it's time to "find another guiding light".

But, she shines so bright.

I have an extremely hard time separating art from it's creator. This is why I don't ever seek out music from Kanye West or John Mayer, ect. It's why I don't consume Harry Potter content as I used to. So this issue has been making me question a lot. Taylor Swift is the music I've grown up with. Her music has carried me through falling in and out of love, heartbreak, trauma, and the process of becoming myself. Her inspirational quotes are often ones I have taken to heart and been happy to repeat to others. I have centered so much of my life around this woman, from staying up each night of the Eras Tour and listening to her music more than anything else.. to participating in easter egg hunting and theories. This is one of few sets of music/art that I am really going to try to hold onto despite some actions, but I cannot be an apologist or ignorant for her either. As I saw someone on TikTok say; My swiftianity is going on vacation until there has been accountability taken and performative activism becomes real allyship. Love the music, some past speeches : not the person she is choosing to define herself as right now.

This is not the first time either. And the following examples are not the only examples. She has worked with David Russel (accused of sexual misconduct/assault (to his, 19 at the time, niece) and fostering a hostile work environment on set). She has remained friends with Lena Dunham for years. A woman who has made insensitive remarks regarding the Holocaust, victim-blamed a 17yr girl, and admitted to many actions that could be taken as having molested her sister at a young age. I’m not attempting to cancel Taylor but it is so important to call her out when she does something wrong or problematic like this. I have had the privilege of being ignorant, but as I learn more I simply cannot be. It would be "frilly and spineless" of me to align myself with her whilst claiming to be an ally of any marginalized groups or fellow victims of SA.

Anyone from any perspective on this is welcome in my DMs or here to discuss :^ just keep it respectful.

#Taylor Swift #matty healy #lena dunham #spilled thoughts #taylor and matty #regardless of wanting to hold on to the art I can't even listen to her music rn #makes me feel sick #she's also been way too quiet on so many other things after claiming allyship

[blueboyluca]

Post trial thoughts

I've not been in the best mental state about dog training since the first trial of the year going so poorly. This has fostered a very frantic and overly sensitive mode for me during all dog-related activities, which is not productive or fair. But that's the truth of the last ten days or so.

I am embarrassed about my frazzled mind, but I figure I share everything else about dog training here, so why stop now? So I went to the trial last weekend and on the first night right off the bat I asked the judge (who our club has a relationship with) what I should do. She told me to run the first one as entered – I think so she could see what I was talking about – with a toy nearby to switch to an NFC if needed.

I did that, and Marcie wouldn't run. So I got the toy and we did parts of the course, but it was very messy. The judge said the biggest issue is the running out of the ring and her advice was to collect the dog and bring her back into the ring and then ask for something and then reinforce.

For the second run I started with the toy and got parts of the course. I definitely pushed too hard. For the third run the judge let me run with a lotus ball with food, which I think I got a full course or almost full course with. It was definitely the best of the three because the reinforcement was better.

On the second night I ran all three with the lotus ball. This is actually against the rules, but this judge was very generous with her time, and with trying to help me figure things out. The first run was the best of the night, she did the whole course and got her ball at the end. She checked out I think twice for a few moments, but she never ran away. The second run was much the same, but with a few more check outs. The third was painful, she left the ring again. I brought her back and had her do the last home stretch of three obstacles and gave her the ball, so she ended on a high note.

I understand the judge's perspective that a dog shouldn't exit like that so bringing them back and then doing something and then reinforcing is more productive. The issue I have with this advice is that it feels awful in practice. I don't like picking Marcie up and bringing her back to something she's communicated to me that she doesn't want to do. I was – and am – conflicted about this advice. I decided I would do what the judge recommended as a test, as this judge is incredibly experienced and runs workshops and private training for agility all the time. I figured that I could test it and evaluate. But my conclusion, I think, is that I don't want to do this and would rather shape an environment where she won't run away, rather than work through it. But I recognise that I haven't achieved that yet and that I may still need to do this as a fix.

The purpose of attending this trial (instead of just despairing) was to collect data, because I thought it would help. This is the data I collected:

Marcie runs best for 2 runs, not 3

She does better when she is set up away from the table

She does better when I spend more time with her throughout the night

She does better when she is set up near another dog

She does better with multiple walks to break up the evening

She seems somewhat put off by the judge in the ring (one time she barked at the judge)

She is stressed at the startline as well as in the course

If she checks out to perform displacement behaviours, she can come back from it

If she checks out and leaves the ring, she is too stressed to get anything useful out of

She is OK with being leashed if there's reinforcement, but she is uncomfortable with being leashed when reinforcement is not available

She needs more support at tunnel exits

She needs more connection during a run

She will play tug multiple times throughout the night, which indicates that she is not stressed during the waiting periods

She never refuses shredded chicken, but will refuse other types of food

I am still formulating my plan of action. I have to watch my delayed reinforcement webinar still, and I am still mulling over the philosophical differences I have with the judge. She talked to me many times about the issues I was having, and overall she said that Marcie has lots of promise and good skills and had faith that we will eventually succeed in trials. She also said that she thinks 3½ is still very young, and that it's unusual in her experience for dogs to do really well in agility at that age (she said it happens, but it's not the norm). These things did make me feel better.

I recognise that most of my problems are in my head. By which I mean, my issue is largely a mindset issue of being impatient, feeling internal pressure to perform, and frustration from comparison to others. All of this is stuff that I need to fix in my head if I ever want to get better at this sport. It's not sustainable to continue feeling these things because it's impacting my dog, and that's not fair or useful.

I think that I've made a bit of a mountain out of a molehill here, but I am overly hard on myself because I never want to be unkind or unfair to Marceline and lately it's been difficult for me to recognise in those moments and self-correct. I don't want to give up, and I don't think Marceline hates agility, but I do think that I need to make still more changes to make this better for us both. Still working out what those changes will be.

#dog training #dog agility #Marceline

[littleoddwriter]

HELLO IT IS I, the great shy neighbor anon!! I have another request for our boy Eddie.

Okay so I was thinking childhood best friends with a male reader smut!

Maybe Edward reveals to him he’s the Riddler, where the reader is like “Holy shit big fan, cant believe its my bestie.” and they work on little things together, maybe holding each others hand through stuff. Maybe they’re obsessed with each other IDK.

After all this v obvious pining, they get a little frisky and s//x happens :)!

Just two idiots so in love doing silly devious things 🙏🙏

Again hopefully this makes sense.

Always Together | Edward Nashton/The Riddler x Male!Reader | N/SFW (18+)

Hey there!!! Thanks so much for the request, it made sense to me, and I really hope you like what I've done with it! :') <3

summary; See above. Minors DNI.

notes; (Cis) Male!Reader; Top!Reader; Bottom!Riddler; Childhood Best Friends; Past Trauma; Getting Together; Friends to Lovers; First Time; Anal Sex; Unsafe Sex; Fluff and Smut.

Edward and you have been friends ever since you could remember. You grew up in the orphanage together, being handed from one foster family to the next, until you both eventually aged out of the system. When you had to leave the hell-hole that was Gotham’s orphanage, Eddie and you moved in together so you could afford something and also to simply stay together. Neither of you had wanted to be alone just yet.

But after a couple of years, you both decided that it would be nice to have an apartment all to yourselves and searched for your own. After spending your entire lives holed up with nearly thirty other kids in just one room and then staying with one another took a toll on both of you. It was for the best. And you stayed in contact, meeting quite regularly, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. 

But you missed Ed a lot and it was hard for you to be without him. Nonetheless, you also had to admit that having your own apartment was good for you, it let you explore yourself better, as you got a perspective of what you wanted in life and who you really were underneath all this trauma without letting it weigh you down every day. Only being alone allowed that for you. Eddie always reminded you of the orphanage. You both did that for one another. It wasn’t good. Both of you suffered from it. 

By the sounds of it, he’d been better on his own, too. He had a good job, a nice apartment, goals, hopes and dreams. And you were still a part of everything, which was something you secretly cared about the most. 

______

When you came together again years later, the Riddler had just started out. You watched all of his livestreams. You considered yourself quite a fan of this man, who was seeking to uncover the truth about Gotham, something you were all for, after what you, Ed and all those other kids have been through. 

Sitting beside Eddie on your bed, you two had been updating each other on how things have been since you’ve last seen each other about two weeks ago. You thought that while he was talking that there was something he tried not to voice. You couldn’t put your finger on it, though. Did something happen that he didn’t want to tell you? It worried you that he often skirted around something when he spoke about what he’s been up to. It happened a lot more often lately, not just now.

“Hey, Eddie,” you said, looking at him in concern. He looked back at you, raising an eyebrow. “I was wondering if there’s something you’re hiding from me? Like, I just have this feeling that you are because of the way you’ve been talking about what you’ve been up to recently, you know? I’m worried, is all.”

Edward looked like a deer in headlights. That only worried you more. So he was indeed hiding something from you.

“Have you heard about the Riddler?” he asked, basically blurting it out after a few moments of silence passed and you had thought he was going to pretend it was nothing.

Taken aback, you nodded.

“I’m- I am the Riddler,” Eddie admitted, twisting the bed sheet between his fingers nervously, "Uh- I didn’t mean to worry you, Y/N. I just didn't know how to tell you."

Processing this information, you just looked at him for a moment before breaking out into a huge grin. 

“I’m actually a big fan of his! Can’t believe it’s you, Eddie. Well, I kinda can, to be fair. But still! This is so cool! My best friend is the Riddler!” You couldn’t hide your excitement if you tried.

Edward smiled, looking shocked, but pleased. “Oh, thank God,” he breathed.

“That kinda explains why there were never any streams when you were with me. And here I was always worried I’d miss one!” you chuckled heartily. 

“I’m relieved that you are a fan of this persona I created. I was scared to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I’m some kind of freak and for you to leave me.” 

“Never. We’ve always been together, Eddie. I couldn’t ever leave you.” You both smiled at each other. Ed’s cheeks were tinted pink and your own face grew a bit hot. 

After a short moment of silence, you started bombarding Edward with questions about the Riddler. And because he knew he could trust you, he told you everything you wanted to know. As a result, you only fell deeper in love with him - something you had realised a while ago, but doubted you were ever going to tell him.

______

Ever since, he’s invited you over when he was going to stream so you could sit out of frame and watch him like this. Your presence calmed him down, he’s told you. He wanted you there. And it meant the world to you that he did.

At some point, you started holding his hand just out of the camera’s view. It only started because one time he was feeling anxious, as he’d been triggered before and flashbacks kept on coming, ones you only knew too well. You had done your best to calm him down before his stream, which he refused to postpone, but it hadn’t been enough. So, you ended up with his hand in yours, grounding him that way throughout. And somehow, that has just become your thing, then.

What honoured you the most, though, was when he started explaining his plans to you in more detail, asked for your opinion, and eventually proposed that you help him out with some things. Of course you did. You wanted to spend every second with him. You also wanted to help him achieve his goals. It was a win-win situation, really.

Throughout all this, you two have grown even closer, which you had thought to be almost impossible, but you’d been proven wrong once again. Your feelings for him only intensified, naturally, and by now you were pretty certain that you weren’t simply in love with Edward. No, you were absolutely obsessed with him. And in turn, you started to feel like the same was true for him. You hoped so, at least.

Because by now it seemed to be getting a little ridiculous. After all, you not only held his hand during streams anymore, but just whenever it fit you both. You kissed his cheek. You two cuddled with each other. You never spent any time with somebody else anymore, only one another. And it was slowly killing you. You just wanted him to be yours and vice versa. You wanted to be exclusive. You wanted to love him openly and unashamedly.

Apparently you’ve been heard, though, when a while later, you were cuddling in his bed and you leaned up  to kiss his cheek, just because you felt the need to, and Eddie turned his head, capturing your lips in a surprise kiss. You both froze for a split second, but then you started to kiss each other in earnest. 

When you broke it at last to catch your breath, you looked at one another in wonder. 

“Fuck, I want you so bad,” you murmured, unable to keep it inside.

“Me, too,” Edward responded quite instantly.

“Should we… Do you want to-?” You didn’t know how to ask if he wanted to have sex with you right now, but he seemed to understand you.

“Yes! I’d like that. Um-” Ed’s face turned completely red. Both of you chuckled at how awkward you two were. Neither of you had ever expected this to happen.

“We don’t have to go all the way. We’ve got all the time in the world, right?” you tried to lighten the tension that settled around you two.

“We do,” he whispered. Then, he leaned in and kissed you again. 

Sighing into it, you opened your mouth and he mirrored you. You slipped in your tongue, licking into his mouth to explore it. He moaned in response and his hands around your middle tightened. 

Pushing him back down on the mattress, you got on top of him, between his legs, never once breaking the kiss. Your growing erections pushed against each other, causing you both to moan. 

“What do you want to happen now?” you asked, out of breath.

Edward swallowed thickly, looking embarrassed as he averted his gaze before he answered, “I’d like you to fuck me.”

“I can do that,” you grinned, pecking his lips. “Where’s the lube?”

He pointed at his bedside table, “First drawer.”

Opening it, you took out the bottle of lube and put it on the bed, next to Ed’s head. Then, you took off your own shirt and grabbed the hem of Edward’s, silently asking to pull it off of him. He simply nodded, sitting up slightly and raising his arms to help you.

While you were unbuttoning your pants and sliding them down along with your underwear, you kissed down Eddie’s lips, neck, collarbone and chest to his nipples, taking each one into your mouth and swirling your tongue over it. He made the most beautiful noises as you did. You wanted to know what else you could elicit from him the further you went.

To fully take your pants, underwear and socks off, though, you had to stop and get up for a second. Ed looked at you with clear admiration on his face. Smiling at him, you felt your face grow hot again. This was what you’d been dreaming of for so long.

Back on the bed, you kneeled between his legs and took off the rest of his clothes as well. Both fully naked now, you let your eyes and hands roam over Ed before you finally took his hard cock into your hands. Groaning softly, his hips twitched. 

“You have had sex like this before, right? We never talked about that,” you asked after a short moment.

“Well, no,” he answered, blushing furiously, “but, uh, I’ve used toys on myself.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough, Eddie. Just wanted to make sure you know what’s gonna happen,” you told him gently, stroking your hands over his thighs lovingly.

When he nodded, you took the bottle of lube into your hands and poured some over your fingers. You took your time preparing him, sliding your digits in and out slowly and letting him relax around them. When you could have entered a fourth finger, you pulled out and spread more lube on your cock.

“Ready?” you inquired, stroking your cock.

“Yes,” Eddie whispered, nodding for emphasis. 

Then, you slowly started entering him bit by bit until you were fully inside. Both of you moaned when your hips met his. You moved in and out of him shallowly at first, careful to let him get used to it and not bring him discomfort beyond what was normal for the beginning. Once he demanded for you to go harder, you complied, though. 

“Feels good?” you asked, breathing heavily as you kept thrusting into him steadily.

Nodding, Eddie moaned, “Yeah, fuck- yes, feels good, Y/N!”

“You make the best sounds, Eddie baby, you know that?” You drove further into him, slamming into his prostate to prove your point when he groaned loudly in surprise and pleasure, nearly shouting.

“God, fuck, please, make me come,” Ed whined after a couple more thrusts that stimulated his prostate. When you looked him in the eyes, they were shining with unshed tears. Oh, he was so gorgeous.

Taking the lube back into your hands, you poured some over your hand. And then you started stroking him in time with your thrusts, making him come not long after. He was moaning, arching his back and coming all over his stomach and your hand. 

The way he clenched around you almost made it difficult for you to continue to thrust into him, but the tightness also caused your orgasm to approach quickly. Thus, you followed him only a few moments later, coming deep inside of him. 

Slipping out of him, you laid down beside Eddie. Both of you were panting, drenched in sweat, and cum in Ed’s case. 

“Oh, that was a lot better than I had expected,” Edward sighed, smiling tiredly. 

Grinning, you put your clean hand on his chest and let it rest there, “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I did, too. This is all I’ve ever wanted. You know, us. Together like this.”

“Yeah, me too. I wish I had said something sooner, though,” he said, smiling ruefully.

“I hear ya. But better now than not at all,” you told him.

Scooting over a bit, you leaned your head on Ed’s shoulder and relished in this moment of absolute content. You felt at ease and, most of all, happy. You could barely believe this had really happened. But it had. 

“I love you,” you both said at the exact same time, making each other laugh. 

This was exactly how things were supposed to be, you knew.

#sorry if the smut part isn't the best i just - eh idk - yeah sorry! #nsft fic #x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #edward nashton #ed nashton #edward nashton x reader #the riddler #the riddler x reader #dano riddler #dano!riddler #dano riddler x reader #paul dano #danonation #fanfiction #fanfic

[foster-the-world]

Finished

Spent a few hours shopping today. Needed to get the kids and myself winter things. I think the kids are set. The girls winter coats from last year still fit. Still need to press order on a new winter coat for myself. I've lost about 25 pounds recently enough so all of my old pants didn't fit. I'd like to lose another five or so - so that I can gain it back at Christmas :) Although, generally happy to maintain. Feels good to be more health conscious.

I've been searching for a great pair of comfortable winter shoes. Probably an Ankle boot type that I can dress up or down. Any suggestions of super comfortable shoes are welcome. I'm happy to pay more for something that will last. In the past I've ended up buying things that aren't comfortable and wearing sneakers instead. I already have a food/fashionable pair of Nikes, a pair of snow boots and a pair of rain boots. The snow boots/rain boots will last at least a decade and I get good use of them in NYC. I did order a returnable pair today. Will see if they are comfortable.

The Jewish Community Center offered a mini photo session. I think I have outfits everyone can wear but need to double check. I think I have everything ordered for Halloween.

Sometimes the third kid stuff feels overwhelming. One of baby boys classmates asked us to carve pumpkins with them this weekend. I missed the message so we didn't go. It reminded me that soon enough I'll now have a third kid that wants to have friends over, etc. Now that he's in school I'll need to plan Halloween treats for his class, also. That means 45 bags total and that's only because of our small class size. With most NYC schools I'd be looking at 3 classes times 30 kids in each. Our school doesn't have a room parent situation. I'm not sure why? I generally offer to send in a Halloween craft, cupcakes, juice, etc to help out the teacher. I also make it clear there is no obligation. I figure if I don't do it the teacher will pay themselves. My Aunt always sends the Micheals craft kids - so those are covered. So far, all of the teachers have happily taken it. The PTA also plans a Fall Fest I'm helping organize. The Police Athletic League is offering jumbo games and a blow up football field (not sure what that is??). They are asking for candy donations - so I got a huge bag on sale this weekend. Its a simple event but the kids love it.

I'm thinking of doing a party in baby boys class the day he is adopted. The adoption should be online so it won't have much fan fair. I thought it might be nice to bring cupcakes and read a book about adoption and/or how there are many types of families. The girls will join. I thought about seeing if we could do it in the gym with all three kids class. The party/event will mean more to the girls then baby boy. Previously I had thought about not celebrating at all but have since revisited the idea. I'm hoping its appropriate to celebrate as long as we also acknowledge the loss in the long run. He's three now so none of it means much to him. He does tell us he's adopted. He does understand he has two dads, two mom's, etc. Beyond that who knows what he gets? We will keep talking so he keeps learning more.

Our first foster daughter is 7.5 and lives with her Grandma. Her mom has had three more children. This past weekend the youngest kid (9ish months old) was removed and given to Grandma. I don't really understand how its safe for the other two to stay but not him?? Grandma said "she has them for now"?? Grandma never seems particularly stable to me but I hope it all works out. Poor babies. Poor Grandma. Poor Mom.

[kbrick]

Tag Game

Woo, it has been a minute since I've done one of these! Thanks @the-sinking-ship for the tag!

three ships: Uhhhh Drarry. And that's it!

No, for real, this is hard because I am a single-minded crazy person and have trouble leaving my beloveds. I used to be into Jurdan (Jude + Cardan from The Cruel Prince) a few years back. Het romance, so boring, I know. But enemies to lovers, so. In the HP verse, I think Scorbus is really cute. And I'm peripherally into Lunasy.

first ship: Jurdan (see above)

last song: I've recently fallen into a time warp, grunge edition. Been listening to Black and Release by Pearl Jam a LOT.

last movie: Barbie movie, and I cried. What, I'm not made of STONE you bastards

currently reading: Re-reading Perdido Street Station and tbh I'm liking it a lot less this time? not sure why.

last thing i wrote: 

“Can't it wait until Monday?” Harry had little hope of this, but he had to ask.

“Afraid not,” Lisa replied. “Bit of an emergency. Little man blasted a three-foot hole in the wall of the foster family’s house today. They’ll all need to be wiped.”

“Obliviated. We obliviate them,” Harry corrected her (because ‘wiped’ sounded scary, like some sort of Cold War tactic). He thumbed through the file. “Eleven years old. How is this the first time I'm hearing about him?”

Kids this age always got to Harry, for reasons that he both understood and didn’t. Of course, eleven was when his own life had changed forever, but that didn’t really explain why these cases made him feel so frantic, like it was almost too late, like the child might be lost forever if he didn't intercede post haste.

“Honestly, I've no clue,” Lisa said. “I don't know how he escaped our notice until now. He’s clearly got magic juice; it’s been popping up for years by the look of it.”

Indeed, there was a whole stack of incident reports in the file, from various primary schools and foster homes, things that had been labelled as violent behavior or pyro tendencies, but had probably been errant magic.

Yeah, this one had slipped through the cracks.

currently writing: a top secret fic for a top secret fest, and dabbling in the above 'Harry as a Wizarding Child Protective Services caseworker' fic (Lisa is the Muggle liaison between the magic and Muggle parts of the department). Yes, this one will be Drarry, too, and also involves Scorpius.

Tagging @aibidil @moonflower-rose @gracerene @getawayfox @sorrybutblog @t4tdrarry, but please ignore if you've done it already or don't feel like doing it!

#drarry #kbrick #tag game

[greeneyezblackheart]

Hey, Sis,

So, I've been thinking about putting together a bucket list. I had one a long time ago and my ex saw it and helped me to cross some of those off. He took me horseback riding for my birthday. Of course, we didn't have a guide and we needed one cause the horses knew we didn't know what we were doing and mine stopped to eat grass and i told him to go and he tried to buck me off. Needless to say, we had to change horses. But that was cool. I'd like to do it in a situation where I had a guide, or someone could teach me a thing or two first.

He took me to The Grand Canyon. We didn't get to stay long but I definitely saw it. Well, part of it, lol. I definitely want to go back and see a different part or look at it a bit longer. And he helped me with a few others.

Anyway, I had been thinking about this - before I even met you and learned of your love of cherries - but I have ALWAYS wanted to try Cherries Jubilee. I mean, always. I absolutely LOVE Bananas Foster - it is my all-time favorite dessert. We have a Cajun restaurant here that makes it, but it's mostly ice cream, lol. I've had it once where there was a lot more banana and a lot more Foster and that was good too. But I am putting Cherries Jubilee on my list. I know of no one who serves it. So ... I will probably only get it if I ever go on a cruise that offers it, or I make it. But I'm going to work it out.

That leads me to going on a cruise. But it has to be the right one to the right place, because I am not rich. I am not married to Izzy Stradlin unfortunately. I will get to go on one cruise. And really, did he ever have to go on a cruise? I mean, he probably had a yacht chartered once or twice. What am I saying? Probably a lot of times. I think he once performed at a wedding in St. Tropez and another one in Spain, so ... I digress. Sorry.

So:

Cherries Jubilee

Cruise

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Graceland / Memphis

Washington D.C.

(I didn't go on the 8th grade trip - sure wish I had cause it would have been much cheaper with the whole student discount/8th grade program the government works out with the schools. Did you go on it?)

Oh ... I think I want to try Caviar one time. Not a lot. Just once.

Hmmm ... a couple I will not share here, lol. But I still think they are very necessary and worthwhile endeavors!

So, these are not goals, but just things to check off.

Have you done any or all of the things on my bucket list above? Have you had Cherries Jubilee, and if so, where?! Actually, I'm pretty sure you've been to Graceland - and I know you have been to Memphis. Just unsure of the rest!

Love,

Your Sis xoxoxo

I have done three of the things on your bucket list: Graceland twice, two cruises, and Washington DC.

The DC trip was my 8th grade class trip. I would love to go back now because I feel like I didn’t appreciate it as much back then as I would now. 

I have been to GL twice, once when I was 17 and another time probably about 9 or 10 years ago with Eric. Of course, I’ve been to Memphis, I’m still here. 😆

One cruise was when I was 8. My mom and stepdad took my sister (who was 18 at the time) and her boyfriend and me on the Disney cruise/Bahamas for my sister’s graduation present. I got a cruise for MY grad present too, but ours was a bit different: a three day cruise to the Bahamas (on a smaller cruise ship, where I was seasick the first night), then 4 days in Orlando for all things Disney. Just me, my mom, and my 6 month preggo sister. Fun fact about the Disney cruise when I was 8: they thought it would be funny to feed me escargot, so they ordered me a dish, told me it was PORK, and I loved it so much, they ordered me a second dish. I did not find out until much later that escargot = SNAILS lol. I was not as grossed out as I probably should’ve been, and I’ve had it a few times since then. I still love it. Go figure.

I have also had caviar. I love that too. Goes great with smoked salmon and cream cheese on some fancy ass crackers.

Never had cherries jubilee, but it sounds yummy.

The R&RHOF would be fun. I love doing that kind of shit.

🖤🖤 Shells

#my friend A 🍒 #shells rambles 💬 #bucket list convo

[thecatslug]

Writing OCD: Rahadin

Mental health is a topic near and dear to my heart, so obviously that's this blog's entire personality now. In my games, I've taken to portraying Rahadin as a high functioning sufferer of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I wanted to share some insights into writing not only him, but characters with OCD in general. OCD has a tendency to be hand-waves as a quirk to be snickered at, or simply avoided by writers like the plague. So hopefully this helps a DM out there wanting to tackle this portrayal, either with Rahadin or their own NPCs!

A preface: I come from a family of hereditary OCD! I dodged a major bullet but I do have OCD-like compulsions and obsessions, but they are subclinical. My younger sibling was not as fortunate, nor was one of my parents and several uncles. So! When going in to write Rahadin with this take, I did my research- both online and in person, so to speak. This guide will, in a sense, be teaching "through Rahadin's eyes" since sometimes an example is better than a check list.

Beginnings: Likely being genetically predisposed to OCD or OCD related disorders, our Rahadin's struggles didn't manifest until after a traumatic event toppled the first domino, so to speak. Fleeing his home as a teen under penalty of death for his divergent religious beliefs, the elf turned to mercenary work to make ends meet. Religion and the detail-oriented nature of his job quickly began to morph into unhealthy crutches to sooth a rampant anxiety fostered by living in constant fear of being shanked in his sleep. What one evening was simply asking for protection slowly became a pervasive touchstone, a genuine need, an irrational loop which was the only thing to sooth the growing anxiety threatening to crush him. He knew (and knows) that praying x amount of times won't save him. He knows that triple checking his scabbards is redundant and pointless. But he cannot stop. Stopping is only delaying the inevitable until the anxiety pushes too far, until the itch in the back of his anxious mind forces him to either spiral into a panic, or go back and check his weapons. OCD is pervasive like this. It may not start in the same form for everyone, but for Rahadin I wrote to what would make sense for a man in his position with a predisposition to the disorder. Throwing someone like him in a chronic high stress environment where being detail oriented can genuinely save ones life is a recipe for routines and quirks to become disordered mechanisms

Fuel on the Flames: Our Rahadin's choir formed when he executed a dusk elf royal line for Barov. He had only been in the family's service for a few years, but had quickly wormed his way into a vital role among the military. His subconscious desire for belonging and paternal acceptance was manipulated into committing atrocities for the family in an effort to merely gain their name. Unfortunately, this inevitably led to some supernatural repercussions. You don't just slaughter your own people without the gods cursing you, after all.  So now we have a person with OCD that has a small army of ghosts feeding into his anxiety, tearing him down at every turn, trying to get in his head (since our Rahadin can hear his choir). This is the last thing someone with OCD needs, and quickly led to even more coping mechanisms, even more anxiety, and even more neurotic behavior. Salt circles, wards, whatever he could get his hands on to make the voices quieter soon became crippling crutches as he struggled to keep his shit together for the sake of his new perverted family. Eventually such chronic anxiety and being forced in a "trial by fire" to repress emotions became a surefire speed run to some empathy and depersonalization issues, but that's another post for another time.

Breaking Point: The wedding wasn't just Strahd's breaking point, it was also Rahadin's. His obsessions revolve around fear of death and loss- loss of the scraps of family he now has being the foremost new concern. So seeing the castle he'd devoted the past decades of his life to help retake suddenly swarmed with assassins and turned into a blood bath? That did not go over well with his mind. I do use 2e lore primarily, so we had some work arounds with Alek- the main work around being that Rahadin wasn't Strahd's confidant at this point. He didn't know about the possibility of a plot against the family, not until it was too late. He didn't know about Strahd's spiraling mental state, not until everything had shattered.  Nearly every anxiety, every fear, every worry got realized in one evening. So where does that leave us?

Modern Nights: I'm keeping my personal rahadin lore as brief as I can in this, since the mental health is the main show. With a game set in 747 (~450 years after the creation of Ravenloft) Rahadin has had plenty more trauma to reinforce a lot of his horribly disordered thinking. But he has also had a lot of time to try and become more outwardly functional. Rahadin is, in the end, someone who prides himself on being an extremely competent person. His competence is one of the few things he has consistent control over in a life fraught with dark powers, scheming liches, and crippling anxiety. In my game, his current obsessions and compulsions revolve around the constant fear of his family being killed or harmed. Castle Ravenloft has a no trespassing policy because Rahadin will kill anyone who does not have an invitation, and Strahd has a very hard time stopping him. He checks the doors, windows, wards, etc. every sunrise and sunset like clockwork even if everyone and their mother knows it is all air tight. He cannot skip these steps, because if he does he will not physically be able to tear his mind away from the anxiety. Depending on how things are in Barovia, his checking habits may become more frequent. OCD symptoms spike with stress in the environment, as the compulsions can often be a secondary way to have even a fraction of control over a turbulent life. When on the job or on the road, he does his best to turn to more localized compulsions to distract himself from his other worries. Dragging Strahd off to be blessed yet again or have his armor checked yet again is a loop he can and will fall into if he's stressed enough. He does his best to not let it interfere with daily affairs, and to keep the compulsion loops in the realm of plausible deniability, but he can only hold off for so long on sating the internal monster that is anxiety. A final way his disorder tends to flare up in my game is when there is someone he perceives as hurting the family or Strahd. Now, mind you, Rahadin is still a very rational, calculating person who doesn't act on impulse. Unfortunately his OCD does play into the logical drive to kill off individuals who he deems as more and more of a threat to everyones safety. That isn't to say that he's trigger happy… he's just prone to killing people for Strahd's own good. People such as (in our game) Lyssa Von Zarovich, in a complete disregard for his brother's wishes to keep her alive as she is one of Sturm's only descendants in Ravenloft. Rahadin is already a callous, calculating killer. His OCD does not cause it, but it certainly plays a role in helping along those tendencies.

Rahadin, like every Ravenloft NPC, is a product of nature and nurture. Unfortunately, he was dealt a rather shitty genetic hand and tossed into a dumpster fire of trauma and emotional abuse. It's enough to make anyone come out with a half filled mental disorder bingo card. He's just another oddly resilient person in Barovia grappling with very serious mental illness in a way that gives him the illusion of stability.

(DISCLAIMER: As usual, I am not an expert or professional in psychology! But I'm in training to be one! This is just a little writing exercise that I hope can help some of y'all. I still encourage everyone to do their own thorough research when portraying any mental disorder, as per usual!)

#just another psych writing guide for my favorite fictional monsters #curse of strahd #ravenloft #ravenloft2e #rahadin #rahadin von zarovich #dungeon master #dnd #dungeons and dungeons

[alwayslovingharry]

Our Last Summer

A/N: Hello, in my country it's already past midnight on the 2nd, so I'm a bit late (in my country), but in honour of Harry's birthday I've decided to publish the next part of this story’s, when you read it you'll see why I wanted to publish it today. I hope you like it and enjoy it very much. And of course (although I know he'll never see this), HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY

previous part

PAIRING: Harry Styles x Hailey Foster (1Dmember!reader)

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

WARNING: Not an english native speaker.

SUMMARY: Hailey goes on Late Late and has a "surprise" reunion with someone. (This day has been divided into three parts and this is the first one.)

——————————————————————————

04/05/2017 (⅓)

"The great Hailey Foster, everybody. "

The whole audience applauds and James hugs me as he thanks me for coming. After the interview where he asked me about the Met Gala and my new modelling projects, James decided it would be a good idea to end the show with a riff-off with The Filharmonic where he argues that the bands of the past are better than the ones of the last few years. 

While James sang snippets of Everybody by the Backstreet Boys and Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC, I sang She Looks So Perfect by 5SOS, Somebody To You by The Vamps and Fly With Me by the Jonas Brothers. Of course, as in all his riff-offs, he admitted that the bands now are better so I had to console him telling him that the band of the past are classics before we started singing History together. Singing History brought back memories of my last visit to Late Late with the boys.

"You were perfect, my dear.”

"Thank you for inviting me, I love to come and pay you a little visit every now and then."

"It's a pleasure to have you here, you're always invited."

I hug James again and he hugs me back. We've always got on well, ever since Louis and Harry introduced us at one of the first gigs of the first tour with the boys. The audience starts to leave the set and I walk with James towards the dressing rooms. 

"When is your flight home?" James asks as he walks me to the dressing room where all my stuff is. 

"Tomorrow at noon, tonight is my last night, I can't wait to go back home." 

"Oh, I wanted to invite you over for dinner." we both arrive at my dressing room and James opens the door for us to enter, letting me go in first. "But Julia wasn't feeling too well today and I don't want to leave her alone with our 2 little monsters."

"Well, it doesn't matter, next time I come to back to LA or you come back to London we can plan something more calmly, so she can come too." 

"Sure, she'd love to see you, it's been so long since you two have seen each other." replies James as I sit down on the couch and take off the sandals I was wearing in the interview. "Do you mind if I leave before you go? I'm really worried about her, she doesn't usually get sick."

"Of course not, don't worry, I'll be fine. Your team is the best, if I need anything before I leave I'll ask them."

"Thank you so much Hailey, I promise I'll make it up to you next time you come. And don't hesitate to ask the staff for anything, they will help you with anything you need. Before I leave I'll arrange for someone to come and escort you to the photo booth so you can put up the picture they took you earlier."

"Okay, I'll be waiting." 

"Then I'll let you get changed in peace. I wish you a safe trip back and I hope we meet again soon," I stand up again and James comes back over to me for a quick hug. 

"I hope so, tell Julia I hope she gets better."

"I'll tell her." James walks back to the dressing room door, opening the door and turning around before walking out the door. "Have a nice flight back. "

"Thanks James."

James closes the door on his way out and I start to change into my usual clothes. 

As I had been one of Versace's guests for the Met and we were going to talk about it in the interview, the Versace team had arranged to bring me an dress for the interview this afternoon to the studio with matching sandals. 

I love the outfit, but with the temperature in LA today I feel much more comfortable in my everyday black shorts and t-shirt with my favourite black converse. For going from the hotel to the studio and back to the hotel it's the perfect outfit. 

When I finish getting dressed and lacing up my trainers, I make sure to leave my dress and sandals in their case and box so that they can be picked up by the programme crew without a problem. Once everything is ready, I sit down on the sofa and open my Instagram. Barely 5 minutes have passed when there's a knock on the door and I get up to open it.

"Hi." he greets me as soon as I open the door. 

"Hi...w-what are you doing here?"

"I was in the studio preparing next week's shows and I met James just as he was leaving, he asked me to bring this for you and escort you to where they put up the pictures." he says as he hands me the picture they took of me earlier along with a drawing pin to put on the wall.

"Yes, he told me he would send someone from the staff for that...but I didn't expect you to be working as a messenger for the show now," I joke, getting a small smile to appear on his lips.

"It's just for the next week, you know, in case the album and solo career thing doesn't work out" he plays along as he leans against the door with his shoulder.

"Well, thank you very much," I reply as I wave the photo in my hand, "but you don't have to come with me if you don't want to, I can go by myself. I know where it is, don't worry.”

"I've finished everything I had to do for the day, so I don't mind joining you. It's not like I have plans for tonight either," he says as I walk back into the dressing room and retrieve my bag from the vanity chair. “Besides, I've been tasked by James, what image of me would I give him if I don't carry out this simple order."

I walk back to the door and he stops leaning against the frame. His hair is even shorter than the last time we met and now instead of a suit he's wearing a blue shirt with a Hawaiian print over a white tank top combined with black trousers and his typical brown Chelsea boots. 

"Well, I was ready to go, so we can go now," I say as he turns away from the door and we walk out into the hallway. 

We walk silently down the corridor together and I can feel Harry glance sideways at me from time to time.

"I know you were in Studio 1 the other day when I was at the Graham Norton show," he says suddenly and I turn to look at him. "I know because the guy you ran into, Mitch, is one a good friend of mine and my guitarist. He told me he bumped into you, literally." 

"Oh...Mitch...yeah, I remember him, a...bit peculiar but he seemed nice," I reply as I remember the long-haired guy with the guitar that I bumped into. 

"Yeah, he might seem kind of weird at first, but once you get to know him you realise he's one of the best guys you've ever met. But the thing is, you were there."

"Yes I was, but what's your point?"

"Well..." a staff member walks past us down the hallway and we both wave at her "he told me he saw you there on the way to Graham's set but I didn't even see you, no one has told me they saw you except him. And...I needed to know why you were there, so when James told me you were going to be the guest today, I thought I'd come and see you and ask you." 

"So James had something to do with you being here...he told me that Julia wasn't quite right and that's why he was leaving." 

"In his defence, the Julia thing is totally true, he just helped me find an excuse to see you."  

We finally get to the wall where all the pictures of the guests are and I look for the picture of One Direction's last visit to the show. As Louis had told me, his picture with Steve Aoki was right next to it. Carefully, I start to change a few photos so that in the end my picture is next to Louis' and the band's picture. 

"I just wanted to ask you if it was a coincidence that you were in the studio and you didn't know I was there or you knew and didn't even want to see me?" he says as I turn to look at him again, seeing that he's much closer than before. 

I can see in his eyes how impatient he is to hear my answer. We both keep our eyes locked on each other.

"You could say it was a coincidence," I reply without looking away. "If I'm being honest I had no idea you were there, I was there accompanying Jack to a meeting with a producer who told me you were there. He also offered me that his assistant would accompany me to the studio to see you while they had the meeting and...I accepted." 

"So why didn't I see you, did you regret wanting to come and see me?"

"No, I didn't regret it. I really wanted to see you at that moment, "I don't know if I imagined it, but I could have sworn I saw my comment make his eyes sparkle a little more than usual. "But after I found your friend, I found my manager." 

"Brenda, the harpy." 

"Yeah, her." I chuckle slightly at how little affection he still has for her. "She told me I couldn't see you, and forced me to go back to the meeting with Jack. Your manager also showed up but didn't say much about what I was doing there.”

"Jeff didn't say anything about you being there or that he'd seen you, I thought only Mitch had seen you."

"Well, managers have always shown that they only know things when they want to, it's not like it's anything new." 

I smile tiredly and pull away from Harry, turning to look at the picture wall again. Soon I feel him move closer again, his chest almost brushing against my back. 

"I would have loved to see you, I really would," he whispers. 

I glance down to where my left hand is, seeing how close it is to his. I feel my hair move with each of his breaths, causing a shiver to run down my spine. 

When I woke up in my hotel room this morning, the possibility of seeing him, let alone being this close to each other, didn't even cross my mind. But here we are. 

"You don't have to say yes out of politeness, but I wanted to ask you to dinner today, right now," he says as I feel him take a couple of steps away from me, and I turn around to see him nervously running his right hand through his hair, "I know this Italian place that's really quiet and has some of the best food I've had here in Los Angeles. But maybe you already have plans or... you just don't want to. "

"I've got the flight back to London tomorrow, but I think...I could accept dinner. Especially if it's Italian food." 

Hearing my reply, Harry gives me one of his big smiles. 

"So, what are we waiting for? Let's go get that food already."

Without waiting for me, he holds out his hand, offering it for me to take. I barely hesitate a second and grab it, feeling the cool metal of his rings between my fingers. Together we walk quickly through the corridors of the studio to the car park, where we arrive, our hands still intertwined. 

"This morning I almost took my motorbike, but luckily I didn't, I wouldn't have brought two helmets," he says as we walk through the car park. 

"Don't you keep breaking them every time you touch them?" 

“Ha ha, that's funny," he replies wryly, "It was only once and at least I can say I know how to ride a motorbike, or at least I know how to ride something."

"Hey," I complain. "For your information, I got my licence last year."

"I don't believe you, you just made that up."

"Of course not! I was tired of having to rely on an Uber, taxi or driver to get me everywhere. I wanted to have a bit more freedom. So I got my licence while I was spending the summer in Manchester with my parents.”

"Then if that's true, I hope you have set up a separate account full of money."

"Why?" 

"You driving? Someone's going to get hurt, you need to set up a compensation fund."

"You're such an idiot!" I reply, punching him in the arm. "Like you're an expert formula 1 driver, you're so arrogant. " 

"Of course I could be a race car driver if I wanted to," he says haughtily. 

"You love yourself so much...you are too arrogant sometimes." as Harry leads me to the passenger door of what I recognise as his big black Range Rover, opening the door and pulling me closer to the seat with his hand still linked with mine.

"I was joking, knowing you I'm sure you are a great driver, whenever you do something you do it with a determination that I've always envied." I sit back in the car seat and Harry lets go of my hand. 

"Thank you, that was sweet," I smile, hoping he doesn't notice the blush on my cheeks, and he responds with a smile as well. 

He closes my door and walks quickly around the front of the car and into the driver's seat. We both fasten our seatbelts and he starts the engine of the car. 

"I'll let you play whatever music you want, you can conect your Spotify in the car if you want," he indicates as he starts to manoeuvre out of the car park. 

I pull my phone out of my bag, searching my Spotify library for a good playlist. 

"The restaurant's not too far from a place I'd like to show you after dinner, if you don't mind."

"Only on the condition that I won't go back to my hotel too late, I have to be at the airport soon and I don't want to miss my flight by falling asleep tomorrow because I haven't slept."

"I promise you that you'll be at your hotel before you know it." 

I finally find a playlist I like and plug it into the car radio. Our Last Summer from the cast of Mamma Mia starts playing over the car speakers and I turn to look at Harry, who's humming the song without taking his eyes off the street as he smiles. 

"Will you never get over your obsession with Mamma Mia? 

"Will you ever get over your obsession with The Notebook or Love Actually?" I reply as I put my phone away again. 

"Never." 

" Well, then you have my answer." Harry lets out a small laugh that gets a smile to appear on my face again. 

I turn my head and watch the streets of Los Angeles go by as we both hum along to the songs from my favourite movie. Every now and then I turn my head, watching Harry move his fingers around the steering wheel to the beat of the music. 

I know there's so much I should tell him, talk to him, but seeing him so peaceful and happy as he drives keeps me from telling him anything. I've hurt him so much that I can't, I don't have the courage to open my mouth and blurt it out. So I keep humming along with him, keeping this little bubble of happiness I feel when I'm with him. 

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