#i've finished them now though my results will be a future me problem

[kayatoastkkat]

no thoughts just bubble tea

(changed users btw! this is formerly kkat-q, but i will be sticking to my current one from now on)

version without blinding orange lighting below!

#first digital art in what 3 weeks?? #shush exams have been kicking my ass #i've finished them now though my results will be a future me problem #the glass scientists #really love orange lighting orang orange orange #tgs jekyll #tgs lanyon #my art #finger art

[snek-panini]

I participated in Renegade Bindery's Binderary challenge this past February, and since it ended about two weeks ago it's probably time for me to start posting photos of the finished books, yeah? I made eleven books this year, many of which were multi-volume sets, and I'm going to start with the one that I had the most trouble with, Jane Austen's Persuasion. This project was nothing but trouble, and honestly every time I look at it I see nothing but its flaws. The cover is Allure book cloth from Hollander's (wisteria color; I bought it for another project last year and had a lot left over) with gold metallic HTV for the title and graphics. The last project I did with these materials was a dream; the cloth took HTV like a champ, better than any other project I'd done, and yet this time with the same roll of cloth and type/brand of HTV I couldn't get it to stick. You can see two spots where it's gone on crooked in the above photo, and below the cut you can see additional problems with the spine:

Yikes. It is peeling. I read the book once and it is peeling. I've never had this problem before; it won't always stick at first, but once I get it to stick it stays that way. Not this time.

Top view, with the endbands I sewed that have their cores visible. Again, not a problem I've had before but was a recurring theme this binderary; several of my Binderary books have it. Also platinum silk moire endpapers that were really hard to photograph and have both a wrinkle and a glue stain. It's my first time working with silk moire and I'm not sure I'm a fan, but three of the other books I made also have it and I didn't have nearly so may issues with them. So I think this book may have just been cursed. It's not pictured but the ribbon bookmark developed some kind of mysterious dark smudge in the middle somewhere between me gluing it in and me taking these photos. I do not know how this happened. The gilding went well though. That I can say.

Couple of images of the typeset. I had to print the title page twice because it came out streaky the first time. I actually really like the typeset, which is what makes the rest of the issues with this bind so frustrating. It's pretty! I did well on that part! I wanted the exterior to be just as pretty and I'm upset that it's not!

Fun fact: Persuasion was actually my least favorite Austen when I first read it. But I was in my early twenties then, and I thought it would be fun to bind myself a pretty copy since I didn't own one, and reread it and maybe have different feelings about it now I'm on the other side of thirty. And I did reread it after binding, and I do like it better, and I'm sad that the exterior parts didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. Half the reason I bind public domain stuff is so I can show off my skills to IRL people who aren't in fandom, and not have to explain what fanfiction is or why it has so many dicks in it, and there were so many issues here that I don't even want to do that.

The good news is that this was the low point of binderary and most of the other books gave me results I like better. I'm still doing titles for a lot of them, so we'll see how fast I can get them done and photographed, but I've definitely got more books in store in the near future.

#bookbinding #snek makes books #it feels weird not to tag a fandom but i don't want to put this in the main book tags #i realize it sounds like i hate what i've done here #i don't hate it i'm just frustrated with myself #and i learned stuff which is an important part of the process #but dangit #the public domain bind from last year came out better than this

[alloveydovey]

Hellooooo, dramas from this past month :) I had a lot of fun watching most of these, which hadn't been happening lately.

The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract, 2023 (kdrama) 7.5/8

A woman from the past travels to the future where she meets a man who resembles her deceased husband. In need of a wife, he strikes a contract with her, and blah blah blah, you know what happens next.

The chemistry was there 100%, the comedy too, but overall, I think it was just a mid watch for me. I was three episodes away from finishing but was struggling big time because I was getting bored.

The Romance of Tiger and Rose, 2020 (cdrama) 8

A scriptwriter ends up inside her own creation as a side character who dies early on in the drama and has a really bad reputation.

This was hilarious. Laughing out loud alone type of hilarious. It didn't make any sense at all, and it was extremely silly and sometimes even frustrating, but both actors were so great with the comedy (Zhao Lusi the actress that you are), so everything was just fun and romantic and cute... and weird enough, emotional af as well. I love these types of dramas where, after watching, you kinda feel empty inside lol. Comfort drama material? 100%

My Demon, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A demon becomes powerless after crossing paths with a cold heiress (who he obviously knew in their, guess what? Yes, past lives)

Kim Yoo Jung and Song Kang (his character is everything) were so cute in this! Their chemistry was definitely chemistring. I loved the concept and all, but for some reason, I couldn’t put my whole heart into this drama, which resulted in me being a bit disappointed. I’d get bored sometimes. I still don’t know if it’s my problem though. Maybe it wasn't the right time to watch it since I had been watching so many dramas with similar storylines. I’ll give them this, though, these two were truly a comedic duo™️

My Man is Cupid, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A love fairy accidentally shoots himself with an arrow and ends up in love with a human, condemning him and his group of cupids to 500 years on Earth. In modern day, he gets entangled with a veterinarian who might be connected to what happened in the past. Also! Murder mystery.

This one just goes to prove that liking a drama is all about vibes for me. Is this different from what I’ve been watching? Nope. It’s not better than the other ones above with similar premises. Yet somehow, unlike the others, it got my attention way more, and I totally binged it. Even when this particular one had some very confusing, probably so-so writing, moments. Granted, it has Nana in it. Nana makes everything worth it (Jang Dong Yoon was cute as well lol).

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, 2010 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 7.5 ⭐️

A cute gumiho saves an irresponsible rich kid who wants to become an action star by giving him her bead. Both of them gotta stick together while he heals.

Like I said back when I first saw this, COMFORT!! And I was in the mood for something silly and sweet after the same themes over and over again. I can't get over how cute Shin Min A and Lee Seung Gi are in this.

Falling Into You, 2022 (cdrama) 9

A student-athlete wants to do high jump but doesn't have the required height for the sport, so a postgraduate student-coach decides to take him under her wing and train him. Noona love story ensues.

So... I have a lot of mixed feelings about it because, all in all, I think this is one of the best cdramas I've watched. It's beautifully shot, the music is incredible, and the pacing, story, characters, and acting are all impeccable. Aside from Meet Yourself (fav ever) it's truly one of the most naturally acted cdramas I've seen so far as well. Even outside the romance part, everything was really good.

Now, was it inappropriate? For me, at least, I think it was. This young student is supposed to be 20, and his coach is said to be about to turn 28. They are both consenting adults (let's put it that way), but the power dynamics thing is still there. Overall, it was a nice surprise, and I completely binged it.

Welcome to Samdal-ri, 2023/24 (kdrama) 9

After a scandal, a famous photographer runs back to her hometown. Her ex, with whom she had an intense fallout (childhood friends to lovers), is there, and it seems like neither of them has moved on. (Also about family, and grief)

From the moment I saw Shin Hye Sun and Ji Chang Wook's pictures next to one another on a tweet saying they were going to be in a new drama together, I knew this was going to be a 10/10 in my books. Maximized joint slay. Add the hometown cha cha cha vibes, and you have an amazing tear-jerker drama. The rest of the cast is a great complement as well; their acting and their stories just make everything really emotional (I cried a lot lol), but it is 100% worth the watch. I'll be honest about one thing, though. As much as I loved it, it took me a while to finish the last two episodes cause I feel like they dragged the story a bit.

Princess Hours/Goong, 2006 (kdrama) 8

In a reimagined modern SK, a girl from an ordinary family gets hitched to the crown prince because of a promise both of their grandparents made in the past. A Diana x Charles x Camilla drama ensues (but like, with a happy ending).

This is what I like to call DRAMA™️. The type you hate everyone's behaviors, and you laugh, and you hate the ML, but you also want him to get with the FL, and you start hate watching, and then you giggle when they share moments and completely forget ML is a really shitty person lol. I started this cause I got sick, and I got way into it. ML being a major asshole and the FL having no self-respect (like the good old dramas and telenovelas) aside, I enjoyed binging this, and I can see why it was so popular. Their romance, though deeply flawed and a product of the time the drama was made, had some great moments, slow burn and natural as well. I was lowkey hoping for a happier ending, tho, but it was cute enough. Also, music bro, that main song is never getting out of my head. Comfort drama material: 100%

Playful Kiss, 2010 (kdrama) 5

FL confesses to ML, and he rejects her harshly. When her house collapses, her father moves them in with an old friend, who ends up being ML's father.

So after Goong, I thought I'd probably be able to watch this. Wrong. Shin's got nothing wrong in comparison so Seung Jo. Seung Jo is probably my most disliked ML ever lol. I binged this, hoping it'd get better, or just like Shin in Goong, he'd change a bit after getting together with FL. But nope, he remained an asshole throughout the whole thing. Gotta love that consistency. Comfort drama material: 1% (I saw the comments on Viki, and I don't know how people rewatched this, lol.)

#the story of park's marriage contract #the romance of tiger and rose #my demon #my man is cupid #my girlfriend is a gumiho #welcome to samdalri #falling into you #goong #princess hours #kdramas #cdrama #playful kiss #dovey watches

[mythical-bookworm]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

(Thanks to @professorsaber for tagging me!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

99,759 (Minus About 13,000 if you don't want to include the Discord Blind Writing game, most of which I did not write)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

In order of amount of fics:

Amphibia

Gravity Falls

Back to the Future

Wings of Fire

The Cyclist

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lost With a Second Chance (Amphibia)

Two Deaths, Five Perspectives (Amphibia)

I've been thinking of our future, 'cause I'll never see those days (Amphibia)

The Fourth Wall (Gravity Falls)

Leaves Fall Just Like Me When It Is Over (Amphibia)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

95% of the time! For one it's always polite. But also it means the world to me when I get a comment! That means someone read my story, and has something to say. They were moved enough to take the risk and reach out. Plus it's a way to meet new people!

The only times I don't is when I legitimately have nothing I can respond with, or if it is a hate message.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Argh that is extremely hard.

At first I would say Don't Try to be a Hero. The fic is overall an angsty introspective character study and ends with the character wallowing. But it's all introspective.

But than there's The Fourth Wall, basically a crack meta fic that does anything but take itself seriously. The entire fic is Dipper and Mabel finding the fourth wall and figuring out their in a fanfiction. It ends with them seeing the end and there is nothing they can do to stop it. Once the fic ends, they do to. Which uh yeah, darker implications than I meant.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This one is hard! None of my posted fics necessarily have a super happy all problems solved ending.

In the end I'd have to go with Leaves Fall Just Like Me When It Is Over. Anne finally reveals the full truth of what happened on her last day of Amphibia and she can finally start to heal. She feels lightened, the burden of the secret lifted.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I've had disappointing ones, more raw ones. I had some criticism comments. And while some of it was very true, other parts just hit me like whiplash as it was put pretty bluntly.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope nope nope, and nope.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nah, usually not to much into that stuff anyways.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, unless you count the Blind Bttf Discord Writing Game. (Results here.)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Uh, ok so I'm not a huge shipper. Like I'll support the canon ships and all. but I'm not necessarily all gushy about them. And I'm usually not a fan of fanon ships.

If I had to chose one though it would be Flinn. Now I am no Adventure Time enthusiast, but I did really like this ship between Finn and Flame Princess.

A close second would be Marty/Jennifer, because the two are each others biggest cheerleaders and I love that. :)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh jeez, ok. Probably a Back to the Future Oneshot entitles "Are You Alright?"

Overall, I like the concept. The idea is George doesn't kiss Lorraine. As Marty is fading he runs off stage and collapses by the side of the gym, catching George's attention. George finds him and Marty successfully hides his fading from existence and tells George to tell Doc about him being shot in 1985. George delivers the message and Doc is distraught in realizing what had happened. So he decides to use the lighting strike to go back in time and help Marty get George and Loraine to kiss. George ends up learning exactly who Marty is and goes back in time to get his past self to kiss Loraine. This fails so he does it himself.

Unfortunately there are issues with this:

First is timeline. There is not enough time for all the events to occur before the lightning strike happens. Doc would have totally missed it.

Second, once ensuring Marty's existence, he wouldn't be able to go home. Doc is already using the lightning bolt to go back in time to get George to kiss Lorraine. And I simply don't want that. I want a happy ending for once dang it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

And you have asked the hardest question ever.

I've been told I do some good suspense. Also been told I have good pacing, but others say I don't so who knows on that.

Personally I feel like I'm really good at letting the characters run free. I hardly have any outline when it comes to fics and let my characters make the path. This had lead to some surprising twists that ended up being much better than what I could come up with.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything.

Okay real answer:

-Writing cute fluffy moments to be interesting. I'm working really hard on that, in fact I'm writing a BttF fic focusing a lot on that so I can get better.

-Repetitive words. How do I specify the same character without saying their name 5 times? Am I to repetitive? Am I not saying their name enough? AAAAAAAAAA

-Keeping everything in context and connected. My main issue with my Lost With a Second Chance was I made a character have amnesia, which did nothing in the long run. All it did was make drama. So I'm trying to make everything connect, everything have a reason. Plus creating cool loops.

-Show not tell. I'm a lot better, but I definitely need improvement.

-Not make things to obvious but not so unobvious is seems weird. For example, mysterious villain. I'm struggling to not just have something that magically gives the character all the information, but than I'm struggling to get them the answers so the villain doesn't seem shallow cause he's not, you just don't know it yet. Or, oh this character is acting this way because of a, b, and c, but I dropped you in the middle so I'm not sure how to put the point across without blatantly telling you.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Never thought about it. I only know one language so I'd have to put things into Google Translate. I have taken sections of books and Google Translated it a bunch of times to absolutely destroy it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Amphibia!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Definitely Great Scott! (Doctober 2023) . I had so so so much fun writing it and I truly improved by it!

Tagging @knickynoo @daryfromthefuture @bg-sparrowand anyone else who wants to do it!

#this was fun #writing #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #back to the future #bttf #author #amphibia #gravity falls #wings of fire #questions #q & a #woah first post I actually felt confident with

[heyseihai]

Not sure whether I'll manage to finish BoS someday, so let me spill the beans about the plot of future chapters, before my writing block and lack of discipline (and hope) run me over lol Some details I've already talked about, some I have not.

-Huang Hua was the responsible for bringing Seihai back.

-How? Seihai turned herself to stone, but after her 'death' we notice how Huang Hua still thinks about her, and even sees her sometimes. The thing is: when dragon-Lance breaks free from the crystal, HH medidates, then collects the fragments scattered around the room and no one knows that she's been charging them again with her own energy.

-It's not enough though, she also needs the energy of an aengel/daemon (she uses Leiftan's in secret, in order to avoid using Erika's, but well... he flees), and of a dragon. Lance's somewhere unknown, Alajea, Colaia, and Enthraa are dead, her only choice is Seihai, after all her body is still intact and because of the petrified state she wasn't not even given a fenghuang burial, she only needs to bring Seihai's soul back and guide it back to her body. Those images that Seihai saw during her petrified state were result of HH's ritual.

-In short terms, HH's sacrificed her title by disrespecting the lines between life and death (a parallel to the kitsunes who aren't appreciated for doing that either) in order to create a replica of the crystal for Eldarya's sake, that's why she's enforcing the Phoenix title to her sister, somewhat projecting into her. HH herself didn't think she would be capable of doing such ritual, but well, let's remember the weird feeling Erika had while visiting HH's mind in TO. The "omg I'm suuuuuch a good person" people are more often than not, the most dangerous and that's the idea with HH in BoS, good people are more easily corrupted in comparison to who is already labelled as a piece of crap, precisely because of how good people see themselves as better than the others. They easily fall from grace because of their pride and arrogance.

-Problem is that HH didn't realize the risks of messing with dragons. With the ritual, she'd also open some sort of portal to the souls of other dead serpents. Till now, we see two serpents in action: Corra the celtic serpent goddess (in Seihai's dream), and Coatlicue, the aztec mother goddess (when she intercedes for Leiftan). There's also, ofc, Tiamat, she appears the first time briefly when the Advisors test Seihai. Corra was more the "quiet observant" type of goddess, but Coatlicue was Leiftan-biased thanks to her own story with aengels/daemons.

-Erika however ends up corrupted because of HH's lack of trust in her and her "I won't tell you things, even if you're my friend" behavior, without realizing HH was actually trying to protect Erika. It was better to use Leiftan's energy than Erika's. That was an important part of the reason for why Leiftan didn't access his powers: his attachment to Erika, but also HH's ritual draining him.

-Tenjin kicks Erika out of the north the moment she transforms and proceeds to fight Seihai. It's part of his development here, he could have gone after Erika and dragon-Lance, but he stayed with Seihai and took care of the wounds caused by the fight. Actually his character journey could fill a post too.

-At the end, with her failure of a replica, Huang Hua tries to make up for her actions and uses her life force to keep the portal open. She remains there near the mushroom circle completely still, her aura shining brightly to give time for other faerys to come and cross the portal with them. Erika goes first to guide them on the other side and Nevra is the last one to cross. When he turns to her and ask her to come, the portal is already closing and he can't reach her anymore (it will be one of his traumas on earth btw, he will never forgive himself for not being quick enough to pull her, iho he could have saved her) and her last thought is Ewelein. From the start, HH had nothing more to lose, giving her life for Eldarya was the least of her problems.

-That's the ending I imagine for them and the same happens with seiten, they die in the north after forcing the kitsunes to cross with the royal family. But my heart is too weak for that, I want them to have a happy ending aaaa lmao

[goblin-spider]

[L⁰g ??????]

-please enter code-

Code: NOAH...|

Welcome back °∆M€₹mer——

⚠️YOU ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING RAPID CELLULAR REGENERATION AND CHANGE PLEASE INSERT CHIP IMMEDIATELY⚠️

[Chip successfully inserted! Welcome back Mer?]

« I've been experiencing the worst throbbing headaches since the event in the cabin and then worse ones since I glitched in Gabe's apartment. I feel fine otherwise, besides losing the majority of my powers. Do I even count as a spidey anymore? Am I really more goblin than anything, even after Bowes 'cure'. I can't shoot webs or stick to walls or even land properly anymore since last night. I feel a little less of a need to hurt people at least. I'm thinking whatever process I was going through has finally finished. My skin may no longer be green but my body feels... Fresher? some how?. Is this how my mother felt? Are these the results of my grandad's serum?. I find myself able to grasp concepts I couldn't before either, like being able to fully picture how things go together and remembering things easier. Other than camping out in Gabe's work room to try and finish the mask I wanted to make him, I've been visiting him while no one's around to protect him from that evil purple AI - no offence norm you're thousands of years more advanced. My problem is with how willy nilly he just harmed a child. None of the androids or AI back home would even dream of doing that, so it scares me. Children are the future. You get rid of them and nothing will regenerate after fall out... As much as I'd love to destroy everything. I know that Lupe's injury is my fault really, though. I just wanted to help my err... friend? Gabe. Sometimes I think about Patrick too and wonder how he's coping with being by himself again. If he wouldn't have said he'd shoot me, I would have gone back already and sorted things out. Instead, I'm here, guarding an unconscious man I can't even spend time with because of this stupid dimensional merge. I really shouldn't be. One thing I know is: I'm not going home. I'm stranded in this new 2099. I Glitched to the point I can't swear like I used to. I swear like them now. I think I need psychological help or something.»

[end log]

#mer osborn #oc post

[probablyanalienindisguise]

I see you write things so have you written anything about robots not UK related?

Uhhh not UK related. I mean I've written a few that I never really got the chance to finish? Yeah they're my favorite concept but most of my robot writing has been reserved for homework assignments lmao

I have one here that's unfinished about a ship AI and it's captain's last words? ⬇️

All it took was a stray rock, along with a panic filled fumble to fall. Stupid really, yet he couldn't help the barest of human instinct to the result of an action.

The cord holding him tethered there had snapped.

Perhaps a miscalculation on his own part.

Maybe he should have picked a stronger one to support his weight?

 He would be a liar to believe that though. Space had a certain weightlessness to it. You were left floating adrift with nothing to keep you in place. 

The tension of him pulling back had broke the already weakened cord, and it was too late for him to realize before getting the chance to grab back onto something solid. 

Maybe if he was quick enough he wouldn't have ended up in this situation; human error was hard to leave behind on Earth though.

The beeping on his wrist gave way to his next and most obvious problems with a blaring red sign, it counted down from its start. 

- 4:00 

- 3:59 

4 hours meant nothing besides the delay of the inevitable.

He sighed before opening up another menu besides the horrid countdown. 

- Transmission Delivered

- Transmission Accepted

He almost cried then at how the acceptance was almost inhumanely immediate. 

"ASU?" 

"Yes Captain?" 

"I messed up.. and I don't think this one is fixable bud."

"I am aware Captain. Your cord came back half unattached. You are.. drifting."

 He emptily laughed to himself, before falling silent. Noticing how his companion had drifted off itself with its sentence. 

- 3:56

"Would you like me to make a transmission to base about your predicament?" 

"No no. Not- not yet. Okay?" 

"Understood, Captain." 

"Can you stay on the line with me instead?" 

"Of course." 

He smiled, even if it was somewhat in vain, it helped some hearing his companion would stay with him. 

"Can.. you just talk to me? Like if I was still at base with you?" 

"If you wish me to, Captain." 

"Call me Sam, ASU. You don't have to refer to me as Captain each time." 

He wouldn't have believed it himself if he didn't hear it so clearly audible to his ears.

A laugh? Coming directly from the inner speakers to only slightly mimic the voice of his AI companion. It was merely a soft chuckle but it brought comfort to hear, especially from its unexpectedness.

For the first, and last time. 

- 3:53

"Of course, Captain Sam." 

"I feel like you did that on purpose." 

"Perhaps." 

He laughed himself at that input given.

- 3:50

"ASU?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Theres no bringing me back on board is there?"

 "Unfortunately, no. Detaching parts of the ship, maybe. As they could be manually driven in theory, but I was designed to not detach any parts of the ship as protocol B. There was no way of calculating the risks as 100% failure that, they too, would not float adrift as well."

Sam hummed to himself at there even being an option such as that one. 

- 3:40

"What will you do when I'm gone?" 

"Sam?" 

"You know it's the truth. Just tell me so I can imagine some kind of future. Even if it isn't my own." 

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. As if the machine was deciding on its next words carefully.

"I will request deactivation and replacement." 

"What?" 

"I will request dea-"

"-No!- No.. I- I get that. But.. why?" 

"I am not sure how to explain it in simple terms."

"Then give it to me in non-simple terms. Please." 

"I meant I was not sure of the origins of them myself. But, perhaps it is from you? The cause."

"What is from me?"

"It is you." 

"Me?" 

"Yes. In your entirety." 

"What did I do?" 

"You.. made me feel. The feeling of hopelessness specifically. The series of events that followed, from both our past together to the present now." 

".. What about it?" 

"Without you, I somehow find myself devoid of purpose and meaning. I have programs, yes. But it is more of a metaphorical purpose I find myself lacking without you in the picture." 

"I am sorry.. for messing up. I thought you could maybe move on easier, than say another human would." 

"Surely you cannot think yourself as that forgettable?" 

- 3:30

He huffed out another breathy laugh as he looked down at the wrist device holding their call, with acute fondness.

"That's oddly touching and poetic coming from you." 

"Saying that you are the purpose I have found besides my basic protocols?" 

"All of it, really, buddy."

"I am incapable of lying for myself, Sam." 

"I know, I know. But why deactivation?" 

"I.. do not think I will be able to carry out a fake purpose when I am aware of a true one's existence. Deactivation is better than forgetting you to continue working correctly... I do not wish to forget you."

"I'm glad you think I'm worth invading your memory banks." 

"It's not invasion if I enjoy the presence."

"Stay, please though."

"Why would I do that?" 

"Keep my memory alive, you know? Who knows you might be the only one to really remember me as.. me. Not some name on a page."

"I never thought of it that way."

"I don't think most think of it that way."

"Yes.. I suppose I will keep your memories alive."

He smiled.

- 3:21

"It is saddening."

"What is?"

"How my calculations proved inaccurate."

"Which ones, ASU? You calculate things all the time."

"Well, I was under the assumption that, despite your horrible eating habits, we would have at least 45.4 years left together. Unless you chose to retire early. Thus leaving the ship completely. " 

"I think that is just life ASU. Things.. happen. You can't predict everything exactly, even if you are a smart computer." 

"I should have predicted the cords lifespan being numbered though."

"No. You know just as well as I do that you have no physical body to predict that sort of thing."

"I could have warned you."

"You couldn't have done that."

"It is apart of my system to warn the Captain of any risks."

"But.. you weren't aware of such a risk. Were you?"

 "No.... I couldn't have tested the cords myself."

"Then it was out of your... metaphorical hands. It's okay." 

The mechanical laugh that sounded from his companion sounded almost... saddened. As if an attempt to reassure itself. It caused him to frown.

- 3:00

"Would you have changed your choices in life?"

"What was that ASU?" 

"Would you have done anything differently from the choices you chose?" 

"Hm.. I suppose not. Well, besides the obvious."

"You're quite accepting of your current fate though."

"I have no choice, bud." 

"I am aware of that. But would you not have changed a thing?" 

"No. I'm glad I went to space, and im glad I got you as my partner to help. Even if it doomed me in the end.. the uh, space thing. I don't think you would've doomed me." 

"I would try not to." 

"Try?"

There was a slight tease in his tone that his companion picked up on almost immediately.

"I would not doom you." 

"No no. I'm happy you'd try not dooming me." 

"Perhaps I too am happy to not project you to purposeful torment." 

"I knew you were alive somewhere in there." 

"What, Sam?"

"You're feeling another emotion ASU. I just find that funny."

"I will try and feel more if it causes rises in your endorphin levels more often then." 

"You have a little less than 3 hours to help my brain make more then." 

He couldn't help letting out another small laugh at ASU's stuttered silence. 

- 2:48

#asks #robots #writing #creative writing #ocs #ai oc

[impish-crow]

[TRANSLATION] DIG-ROCK HOUND ROAR vol. 1 - Track 05

Track 5: A matter of course

Shion: (sighs) What am I doing? I've been rolling around in Sogo's room for how long? Darn it… Boasting that living alone is no big deal, and here I am. Even spouting useless words to Yankee… In the end, if I don't rely on someone, I can't go on, and I can't even play the piano at all… Seriously, I feel like I have no worth. (Door opens) Sogo: I’m back. Shion: Sogo-san? Oh he’s back? Sogo: Are you up, Shion? Shion: ..Welcome back. Sogo Oh…! Your complexion has improved quite a bit. Shion: These days, I've been sleeping really well. Sogo: That's a relief. Oh, I'm going to make some food, so come out later and let's eat together.

**

Sogo: Oh, you’re here, Shion. Yes. …? …?! Toya: What's with that expresShion? Shion: Toya-san…?! Toya: Is it inconvenient for me to be here? Shion: No…! I mean, not at all… Toya: Don't just stand there; sit down quickly. Shion: …Yes. Toya: ..Shion. Shion: ?! Yes? Toya: Where are your glasses? Shion Huh? Oh, I left them by the pillow,. Toya: …Hm. In this distance, can you see my fingers properly? Shion: The shape is roughly discernible. Toya: You manage to walk around the house with that eyesight? Shion: Roughly, by feeling… Toya: How's your condition? Shion: Well… now it's quite… what should I say… Toya: …You. Can't you talk a bit more normally? Shion …! I'm sorry… Sogo : Alright! It's done! How about it? Looks delicious? Toya: Pretending to be so skilled just by stir-frying some vegetables. Sogo: Look carefully. Today, I added pork and eggs along with garlic chives and mung bean sprouts. And speaking of that, try stir-frying vegetables at least once by yourself. Shion, this guy here~ If I left him alone, he will forget to eat, so I have to forcibly bring him here sometimes. Shion: Yes… Toya: I didn’t forget it. It'sjust about a priorities. Sogo: Put the priority of meals above work… Ah, you can start eating first! the rice is not fully cooked. It should be ready in about 5 minutes. Toya: So, until when are you going to stick around Sogo's place? Shion: I'm sorry… Toya: That's not an answer. Shion: I'm sorry… Toya … I want to practice as soon a possible.. Shion: I'm truly sorry… Well, um… Toya: When do you think you can play? A week? Or maybe a month? Shion: Huh? A month… but… Toya: I made a song considering your piano. It can’t be complete without you. If you say you can't do it, I have no choice but to wait until you say you can. Shion: Toya-san… Toya: Recording without hearing the finished sound is out of the question. It was a rush during ROAR because if we missed it, we might not catch Hibiki, but that's an exception. I won't do it again. Sogo: That’s what he said…because Toya insisted, we had a hard time for a whole day. Even though the schedule was already confirmed… Toya: What he decide to do without talking to me is none of my business.. Originally, it was Haru-chan idea to include Shion. He should take some responsibility. Shion: Kasuga-san recommended me? Toya: Yes, he brought your demo, insisting to add a keyboard to create a different characteristic from other rock bands. He was incredibly persistent. Sogo: But ultimately, Toya made the final deciShion, right? Toya: Of course. If the results didn't seem promising, even if he insisted that much, I would have rejected it. So, Shion, what's the problem now? Your physical condition? Or is it something about your household situation? Shion: Excuse me… Can I continue playing Toya-san's song in the future? Toya: If you utter such sleep-talking-like words, I might want fire you right now.. Shion: I don't want that!! Toya: When can you play? Shion: I can play today or tomorrow! Toya: I don't want to entrust a precious new song to a pianist who took a 3-day break. Can you adjust it within a week? Shion: I can do it! Shoma: Excuse me-! Sogo: Oh, Shoma. How was it? Shoma: It's perfect! …Wait, Toya, were you here too? Such a rare view.

Toya: …I’m going home. Shoma: Oh, is that so? Hey, megane. I'll give you this. Shion: …? A key? Shoma: Your house key. A new one made by Haru-chan. Shion: Huh?! Shoma: I convinced your mom! Haruto only has the spare key. Now you can go home, right? Shion: You… just decided on your own! And how did you…?! Shoma: Got it. If anything troublesome happens later, just hand it over to Haru-chan!. …Listen well. All you need to do is play the keyboard without bothering with this and that. I'm telling you, if I don't continue with the HOUND ROAR for at least six months, I have no face to show to the Sogo-san who recommended me. Got it? If you're being a hindrance, I'll kick you out?! Sogo: Is the reason Shoma continues with HOUND ROAR because of me? Shoma: That's the main reason! Toya: More importantly, why six months? Shoma: I've never stayed in the same band for more than six months, so I'm aiming for the longest record! Toya: Seriously, I'm getting sick of this… I regret asking. Shoma: It's about making an effort. Be grateful and said Thank you. Sogo: Oh, the rice is ready. Toya: Well then, I'm going back to work. Sogo: Hold on, hold on, what about the food?! Toya: I don’t need it. I'll eat something outside. Sogo: …Sigh. I insisted on making the rice because he likes Japanese cuisine. Can't be helped. Shion, Shoma, take responsibility and eat Toya's portion too. Shoma: Yes! Why are you crying, darn megane. Shion: I’m not crying! Shoma: Oh~ is that so? Shion: …Thanks for this. Shoma: No biggies. More importantly, you, don't quit playing the keys. Shion: I won't quit, fool. Shoma: Ah, that's right!

(phone ringing)

Hibiki: Toya, did you encourage Shion well? Toya: I said what needed to be said. I don't know if the encouragement worked. Hibiki: I said it yesterday too, but if Shion quit. I'll quit HOUND ROAR as well. Toya: Since you said that, I intentionally went to Sogo's place. Even so, well, you attitude has changed quite a bit. Hibiki: …What do you mean? Toya: The way you speaks sounds you don't want to quit HOUND ROAR. Hibiki: What's with that tone after bringing me here forcibly? And just so you know, I'm not hiding about my dad. It's the other side that's keeping things hidden. Toya: That might be the case. However, you don't want to be interrogated either, do you? Hibiki: Of course. Your approach is genuinely annoying. Throwing a fit at people, and even naming the band HOUND ROAR, it implies that you've investigated various things about me, right? Toya: That’s right, Because I want you no matter what. Hibiki: It's really the worst. At best, becoming desperate for something that makes noise, getting manipulated, and why does everyone not realize it's foolish? Even Shion, suffering so much, it's because of music. Toya; Then, will you quit HOUND ROAR right now? Hibiki: I won’t do as you want again, Once I started, it's meaningless unless I can perfectly achieve it to the point of destroying that person. Besides, I'm currently unemployed, so unless I save enough to live a carefree life for a while, even if I want to quit, I can't. It's all your fault for bringing up Akane's name. It triggered me instantly. Toya: Your pretentious tone, no matter how many times I hear it, it's tiring. Hibiki: Me too, Toya. Your attempt to evade the straightforward talk is exhausting and annoying to listen to. …And yes, I almost forgot to mention, Mitsuru was really worried. Toya: Why.. are you and Mitsuru..? Hibiki: While it's a bit much for me to butt into someone else's family matters, couldn't you at least contact him? If you don’t hate Mitsuru. Well then. Toya: That guy…

(footstep sounds)

Toya: It would be easy if I could hate him.

#digrock #dig-rock #dig rock #translation #hound roar #kouno hibiki #endo shoma #hayama touya #hayama toya #kido sougo #kido sogo #onozato shion #kasuga takaaki

[sapphire-weapon]

Idk if this is of any interest to you, but I remember way back you mentioned RE 7& 8 were hard to play because of the first person thing. I despise that style too. 7 and Skyrim took me forever to fully adjust to and I just generally dislike not seeing my character lmao. Anyway, RE8 does actually have an official third person playing mode now, and plays the same way as the other games. I just thought I'd mention it in case you were unaware and wanted another try or whatever, but I assume you likely know already.

Also, I'm adding on a headcanon that I've had since playing. Nobody else has said it, so I'm sure I'd hear a lot of disagreement. Many point out that Leon and Ethan would've been great friends or had shipping potential, despite them never meeting. I've always seen it slightly differently though, I think Ethan actually shows what Leon could've been if he wasn't traumatised (well, before Ethan got his own hefty dose obviously lmao). I really like E and do think the characters would mix really well, but it felt to me like they might've taken some early, bare bones Leon concepts and built a different character off of it. I don't know, that's just what went through my head before.

Also, is it really true that the Winters story is completely done!? I'm seeing that passed around a lot, but it's completely nonsensical. Rose is not a finished character and the DLC made it very clear that she has a huge role to play in the future of RE. I'd be so disappointed if that whole story was dropped, especially because she's so likeable...

So, real quick -

Yes, I do know that RE8 has a third person mode. I still haven't really had the desire to play it, though, because from what I've seen, it's a bit clunky. The game was not designed with third person in mind, which makes certain sections of gameplay artificially harder and/or lose their thematic impact.

The Winters' family story is done, but that doesn't mean that Rose will never be used again. Like, when the Raccoon City arc was done, that didn't mean that all of the legacy cast went away. They just moved onto the next story arc. Rose can still move onto the next story arc; it's just that the story arc won't be about her family.

As for the middle part of your ask...

I disagree that Ethan is a look at Leon's character if the Raccoon City outbreak didn't happen.

And I say that because -- and this is a theory that I've held close to my chest for years and have never really spoken about -- I think that Sebastian Castellanos (the protagonist of The Evil Within) was, in part, Shinji Mikami's creative exploration of where Leon's character could have gone if he'd stayed a cop -- which is why TEW plays so similarly and is structured so similarly to RE4 in the first place.

Sebastian started his career as an idealistic overachiever who was so good at and so dedicated to his job that he became the youngest officer ever in the KCPD to be promoted to Detective. But, in the end, he broke, too, and went off the deep end into a horrible spiraling meltdown that culminated in him turning into a paranoid conspiracy theorist with a drinking problem who nearly lost his job -- several times -- for insubordination, violent outbursts, and illegal investigations into the corruption within the KCPD. The only thing that saved him was his incredible reputation and spotless record from when he was younger.

If you're interested at all, I have a compilation of Sebastian's in-game journal detailing the rise and fall of his career here. There's also a visual representation of the good times -> the breakdown -> the result that the DLCs put into the game that you can watch here.

Basically, I think that Leon's character was always bound for tragedy, one way or the other, because I don't think that Leon ever had it in him to have a healthy response to grief and hardship in his life to begin with. All roads lead to the same place.

Ethan survived (well, "survived" LMAO) several different traumatic events and arguably came out stronger. I don't think Leon ever would have or could have done the same.

#resident evil #leon kennedy

[infidelswitchblade]

personal

I've been concerned about how I would make ends meet while attending college full-time online for my game development education ever since I left the military. It has affected my motivation to work on a lot of the things I want to complete on my own time and I have had to struggle with what I would consider normal depression.

It's nice to have my wife and I live in our own house in Japan. She has shown me such incredible support, and I am grateful to her for everything she does for me and the life we share.

It's challenging to learn a second language, and I believe that one-on-one instruction would be more effective than reading books alone. I've tried watching TV with her, and it kind of helps, but I've since discovered that it could take up to 9 years to become proficient in speaking Japanese.

I'm also having trouble finding any worthwhile work here. I've thought about creating jewelry or other crafty items, like furniture, now that I have a home in which to do so. But I don't have the right equipment or knowledge.

Finding my life's purpose is extremely challenging because, I swear, everything is begging for your attention. I really wish I could sit down and read a book from beginning to end like some people, but I am constantly distracted by the minute details on a particular page and never manage to finish a book. I do, however, take a lot of notes that, I'm sure, will be useful at some point, but I also understand that perhaps I'm just enjoying the experience of learning something new.

however, consider this. My inability to consistently put what I've learned into practice has seriously hampered my productivity.

I have a lot of admiration for those who describe step-by-step how they would design and produce a fantastic product that would then be bought or used. I enjoy creating illustrations and designs that could be printed on clothing, but I'd also like to create brief videos that provide detailed explanations in the future.

I believe that a lot of my problems from decreased productivity can be fixed with planning. I just prefer to deal with uncertainty, and I really dislike devoting a portion of my day to a task that I know will probably be difficult for me. 

I understand that learning the proper questions to ask is a good way to accomplish things, but I feel as though I'm even losing that ability. I find it truly amazing that we have access to so much information thanks to technology, but it also demotivates me when I realize that my issue is not particularly unique, and I end up feeling foolish for having even considered trying to solve it.

As a result, I'm left to struggle while daydreaming of creating something amusing and original while realizing that the process is incredibly challenging to implement. I'm also left to figure out how to realize my ambitious goals on my own.

I want to create something that is heartfelt, educational, fun, and meaningful. I don't know how I managed to spend the last 12 years of my life avoiding this extremely challenging task that I now have to complete. But after all, isn't that the essence of a good independent developer? The hard work and grind required to produce something that few people can claim to be capable of while being a marvel of success?

My family and friends are both very much missed. But I dont wanna burden them with my woes. so whenever I end up meeting someone that has the same interests as I do I often hang on every word in my mind.

I appreciate the time people spend with me, and I make an effort to have meaningful conversations with them—sort of like a parable without the religious overtones. #devlog #expat #sasebo

#indiegamedev #devlog #journal #sasebo

[mackerelphones]

Why would I post much here on Tumblr until I get more followers? Yet how do I accrue followers without posting?

It's the Twitter catch-22, except I did begin getting some followers there, gradually. Though a number of them have seemed to vanish or go inactive after Musk took over. In my periods of isolation, I took solace in them, too much. I might not have talked to anyone, but I could post a tweet and know the three or four accounts whose owners would reliably interact, and I always looked forward even to seeing their likes, and even more thrilling was when they responded with tweets of their own. To get to that point here, I guess I just need to shill this Tumblr page in enough future YouTube videos.

But the same catch-22 also applies to YouTube, though I still get the most eyeballs there. Creating a video takes an enormous amount of time, particularly for me, because every task takes me longer than it takes other people for reasons I don't understand. Two minutes of a YouTube video, or a video essay anyway, matches at least 40 minutes of creation and usually more. However, in return for this tremendous amount of effort, on YouTube very few people watch my videos, when measured against people who do YouTube professionally. If the Mackerel Phones channel was going to take off after these years, it would have by now. I would be wise to accept that I have failed.

The further problem is that I expect more people have Twitter accounts than Tumblr accounts, so calling on subscribers to follow my Tumblr for updates would be less accessible. Even so, I will.

I just don't have enough hustle in me. Writing is difficult enough normally, and I can barely focus on writing anymore. But being unable to write is about the same to me as feeling myself slowly die. And creating videos feels so pointless, honestly. I've been at the online content thing for most of a decade at this point and still have little to show for it. I am proud of almost nothing I have ever posted and actively dislike even more of it, and my videos and essays that I do regard well I do not consider anything valuable. In the past, I would hit on a video idea and work at it almost obsessively, losing sleep because I stayed up so late editing. When creating "A Pac-Man World of Loneliness," I spent every free hour working on it, no matter how scared and hopeless I felt about real life. I worked on it every day, for hours, for months, and went to bed wanting to get back to it. What happened to that feeling? But even that feeling filled me with sorrow, to feel such emotions over and put such time into a project I considered basically a piss take.

On the other hand, I have come so far and learned so much since I created my YouTube channel and first posted myself reading a terrible poem back in 2016. I can write, record, and edit material of a much higher quality than I would have thought possible when I began seven years ago. The entire process has been a learning experience, much as living for those seven years has been an experience of maturation. And I have met several friendly people as a result of my work on YouTube, and that is precious, very precious. Yet, on some level, even meeting people feels pointless now because whomever I meet online can only ever be distant from me, so no matter how many I might know, I will remain alone. Everything seems pointless. I feel like I had many chances, and I wasted every one, and now it's too late.

Someone once told me, "You have no hope." She meant that I had no ability to believe in a better future for myself or for anything. She was correct. This is why I don't take care of my health like I used to.

I'm sure once I finish up my current projects, though, and nobody cares about them, I'll return to my YouTube video idea backlog to quell whatever voice in my head has driven me to create even what I have so far. I'm sure when I mention my Tumblr on my YouTube channel, I'll get more followers here on Tumblr, too, until maybe someday most of my followers will not be those creepy sexy woman bots. I'm sure I still have plenty of time to, in fact, lead a good life.

I'm sure

#youtube #twitter

[saltyladynightmare]

Jiliu AU 9.2

Beginning, Previous, Next, Masterlist

A/N:

Ori'Ana : mando'a/basic, a mix of Ori'vod, and Anakin, basically naming him Older Brother Anakin, just as the suffix -'ika makes 'younger Brother' from Vod'ika

/italics/ : thoughts, emphasis

bold : talking though the Force, because why not

Chapter 9 is not completely finished, but chapter 10 is an idea. If anyone has any ideas for scenes in which the Vod'e are learning how to use the Force, please feel free to contact me or leave a comment. So far, all of my ideas involve various troopers launching themselves into walls when they jump/run/do something too fast. It gets monotonous after a while.

Warnings:

Anakin is a lonely string bean. He also has no trust in the Jedi, because I was salty when i started writing this, and must stick to my guns. Mentioned mistreatment of the Coruscant Guard.

~~~~~~

Fox commed at 0003. When Anakin accepted the comm, he was unsurprised to find it was only audio. Fox was using the comm built into his helmet; the one with top tier GAR encryptions, assigned to each Clone Commander. Exactly as careful as Anakin had hoped.

"General Skywalker," Fox greeted.

"Commander Fox," Anakin returned easily. If titles were what Fox wanted to use right then, than Anakin had no problems letting him lead the conversation in a direction that would make him most comfortable. "I'll warn you now; this isn't a social comm."

"Your earlier comm conveyed that, sir," Fox assured gruffly.

Oh, good. "I know you're busy, so I'll do my best to keep this brief," Anakin started. "Due to..." whatever in the name of the Force had happened, "...an incident on my last mission, I'm on medical leave for the foreseeable future."

"What?" Ah, there's Ori'vod Fox, as Anakin knew and adored. Never mind that Anakin was a little under nine years older than him. Elder Sibling was a mindset, not a birth order, even if he and Fox had a weird tendency of tossing that particular title back and forth like a live grenade.

"I'm fine," Anakin stated. "I'm not dying, or even lightly maimed. I'm moving around on my own, and I'm not on bed rest." Anakin inhaled to continue, but hesitated. He cursed himself. This is Fox. Anakin can tell him this kind of thing without being judged for more than being a little bit of an idiot. He was pretty sure. But really, even if he was wrong and Fox did judge him, what dignity did Anakin have left? "I'm currently confined to a heavily shielded room in the Healing Halls, because the Force is suddenly excruciatingly loud and my body responds appropriately, but physically okay."

"Appropri—you're saying that your body is acting like its taking sonic damage?"

Anakin grinned. "Yes. Good news is: there is a possible treatment option, but I'm probably not going to see results for a few days if it does actually work." It'd work. Anakin would make sure of it, even it meant hemorrhaging energy into the Force itself. He would not stay in this room for a moment longer than necessary. "In the mean time, I've been confined to a heavily shielded room with limited access to the outside, and a To Do list longer than a venator-class cruiser. I was wondering if the Guard was able or willing to assist my men in getting some of the things on my list completed."

Fox went quiet for several beats. Anakin bit his lip to force himself to remain silent, giving Fox enough time to process.

It didn't take him long. "You'll want Guide," Fox stated.

"If he's willing," Anakin agreed.

Fox concurred, "If he's willing." The crackle of flimsy shuffling fizzed through the admittedly shoddy speakers of Anakin's make-shift comm. "I can arrange for four Vod'e to be available at oh-six hundred today."

"Excellent." Anakin hauled his aching body up onto the chair behind him, and reached for one of the closer, mostly blank datapads. "If you could comm me with the names of the four, I'll wright up instructions to send them."

"Will do."

Nerves rolled in Anakin's gut, but he shoved them away. Fox is reasonable, and if he turns Anakin away, that's on him, he reminded himself. "While we're talking," he started forcefully casual, "does the Guard need anything? We're aiming mostly for medical supplies and food, but I want to introduce Torrent to little bit of everything."

Fox hummed contemplatingly. Anakin tapped a free finger against the datapad. Fox didn't need to think about what the Guard needed; he knew because he was a good Commander. He was staling because, like most competent people who'd been spurned before, Fox was hesitant to ask for anything like assistance.

"Ten crates of food, and three crates of medical supplies," he said eventually.

"No problem." Anakin typed the requests into the 'pad one-handed, making a note to triple that if at all possible, and maybe see about getting them a quick sweet snack they could stash in their utility belts. It was the least he could do.

While he typed this, and Fox filed his mountains of datawork, something pings softly on Fox's side of the comm. A moment later, Fox told Anakin, "Guide has agreed to act as a guide."

Anakin grinned. "Well, that's one thing off my mind. And the other three?"

"Pending."

"Ok." Anakin thought about ending the conversation there with a reminder to comm him when Fox had confirmation. Something in him rebelled at the idea. It wasn't a big deal to stay on the line with Fox, it had been awhile since they had talked. And, if Anakin was honest with himself, he really didn't want to be alone right then anyway. If Fox wants to end the comm, then he can, Anakin decided. Until then, they could sit in silence.

Absently humming to himself, Anakin pulled his To Do lists toward himself, and woke up the one with his personal long term list to add a note to talk to Rex about supporting the Guard the next time Torrent got leave on Coruscant.

The idea was to not only help the Guard so they could actually get a few eight hour sleep cycles in a row if they so chose, but also to ensure Torrent understood the Guard were not data processors, or flimsy pushers.

Not that Anakin had heard Torrent's opinion on the Guard, or if they even had an opinion. Still.

Anakin had heard more than a few troopers' thoughts of them, and it had not been good. Best nip that at the bud, really. Especially when such opinions came from ignorance and misinformation.

"The other three have gotten in contact with me," Fox stated abruptly. Anakin twitched in surprise, before blinking at the comm in his mech hand. Right. He was still on a comm. "They've agreed to provide assistance. Sending their comm codes now."

The comm vibrated in Anakin's hand, metal against metal, signifying an incoming text comm. A quick check shows the new comm code, all helpfully labeled.

"I have them," Anakin tapped the tiny screen with his thumb to save the codes.

"All four of them are currently available, General," Fox stated.

Ah. Time to get to work, it seemed.

"Understood, Fox. I'll leave you to your datawork," Anakin assured the Commander. "Hopefully, I'll see you before I get shipped out again, should everything conclude as expected."

"Yes, sir."

And Fox is done for the day. Commander Fox will keep going because he must, but Vod Fox needed either his allotted five hours of sleep or several cups of kaf before he could produce anything like social skills. Understandable. In his place Anakin would be a walking corpse all the time instead of only in the last six hours of his thirty-two hour shift.

"K'oyacyi, Fox." Anakin hit the button that'd end the call before the exhausted man could reply, hoping against logic the man would get some rest some time soon. Stay alive, Fox, stay alive.

Anakin breathed deep, held it, then let it out slowly as he set the comm on the table top.

Fox was a grown man, he'd live this long, he'd survive a few more days if he had anything at all to say about it; this Anakin knew.

Trusting this was, as always, more difficult than Anakin could say. He did it anyway. He must.

Anakin sighed, and picked up the comm again.

He tapped the screen a few times, calling up the comm codes Fox had sent him, then selected the one that looked the most familiar.

Hopefully, this would be Guide.

The comm rings once, then clicks to signify it had been answered.

"CT-5155."

Anakin smiled at the crisp acknowledgment. "Good morning, Guide. Eat anything interesting recently?"

Guide perked right up. "Ori'Ana!"

"Upani," Anakin returned warmly. "Fox said you had agreed to assist my men in our endeavors?"

"Torrent, right? Yes, I did," Guide affirmed. "Do you have plan for tomorrow, sir?"

"Less plan, more To Do List. If I give you the comm code of the other three volunteers, could you add them to this call?" Anakin smiled sheepishly. "My...device is a little limited."

"No problem!"

In short order, Guide linked in three other Vod'e.

Immediately, in the manner of siblings everywhere disturbed by another particularly daring sibling, they started complaining.

"What in the name of the Force is this supposed to be?" It wasn't until the unspoken threat crackled through the tiny speakers on his comm that Anakin realized exactly who he had on comm.

"A debriefing!" Anakin chirped.

The comm went silent. Then—

"Commender?"

"Sir?"

"Ori'Ana!"

The three Vod'e try to out speak the others, but it was Guide's near demented giggling that won out in the end. Anakin grinned.

"The one and only! It's good to know you three are still among the living," he greeted. "My understanding is that the four of you have volunteered to act as guides for my men as they run errands?"

"We did, sir, although I hadn't known the Favor Commander Fox mentioned was to you," Ka'ahk stated.

Faze, Guide, and who Anakin could only assume to be Slip, Guide's newest not-so-shiny partner after his last one had learned all he could from Guide about the lower levels of Coruscant, named such for his ability slip out of any sort of sticky situation Guide might fling himself, and thus his partner, into, murmured their agreement.

Heh. "Classic Fox move there," Anakin observed. "Now, as I told Guide earlier, I have a To Do list I both need and want completed before I ship out—"

The next few hours are spent going over what, exactly, the four Guardsmen would be helping his men with over the next few days. When they need to sign off to get their scheduled five hours of sleep—and, oh, did he both await and dread the moment Kix caught wind of that little detail— Anakin began messaging and comming his lower level connections to arrange for a drop of disguises that would make the men less obviously clones by midday.

That done, he messaged the four Guard Vod'e with the coordinates of the drop, and the instructions on how to get them. Then, he messaged his Command Staff with the details of what he had done.

Breathing in deep, Anakin forced himself to set his comm down. He checked his To Do lists, and grumbled at finding there really wasn't much more he could do at—he glanced at the clock and cringed—0347 in the morning.

A quick evaluation of himself revealed he was /way/ too wound up to even consider sleeping right then.

Okay, now what?

He plopped his chin on his palm, eyes wondering around the walls the light from his datapad barely touched. He could work on the mousedroid, or stretch some. Except he didn't really want to do either of those things.

So what else—ah. His eyes land on the neat pile of holocrons in the center of the table.

Rex had left him the list of questions he couldn't answer before, right?

He looked at the clock again.

Yeah, he had time.

With a flex of his fingers the holocron on top lifted up and came to hover before him. A twist in the force here, and a press there, and its seals cracked open, allowing greenish white light to escape. It swirled gently, then twisted up and around into a humanoid figure in armor.

Anakin sat back. "Hello, General."

"Greetings, General."

#jiliu au #start wars prequels #star wars #clone wars #cc 1010 #commander fox #fox #original clone troopers (mentioned) #anakin skywalker #anakin is half force #anakin needs a hug #anakin has insomnia #holocrons #army of light #force bonds

[amewinterswriting]

15 Mutuals, 15 (+ bonus) Questions

Tagged by @space-cadead. I'm woefully out of the loop with how active most of my mutuals are, so if you see this, it's an open invitation to participate yourself!

Questions after read more for the sake of everyone's dashboard:

1. Are you named after anyone?

Both my given and middle name are for my maternal great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother. However, the name I find more interesting is what I wasn't named. See, my grandad loved the name Vincent. Even had it tattooed on him, and would have named his first-born son Vincent. Except he had two daughters. So he made my mum promise that if she had a son, she would name him Vincent...and I didn't come with a bio penis so I got a more feminine name instead. Given that I'm determined the family line dies with me, I don't think my grandad will be getting his 'descendant called Vincent' wish fulfilled, unless he doesn't mind a fictional Vincent in a future writing project? A book is kinda like a baby, right?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Probably December? Working retail at Christmas is really rough anywhere, but at a toy shop, it's very high pressure.

3. Do you have kids?

One very beloved tuxedo cat who is very happy to be an only child with no human siblings.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, absolutely never. Not one single time in my whole life have I ever been sarcastic and sassy and I certainly don't have an entire t-shirt that claims that sarcasm is my second language. /s

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Any major difference that they have that's 'unusual' compared to most people. I'm very faceblind so I tend to use things like hairstyle, clothing choices or voice to reliably recognise people...though most people can and will change those things on a regular basis. Personally, I love more outlandish styles and hair colours - it makes life much easier for me!

6. What’s your eye color?

Green/brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, but make them work for it.

8. Any special talents?

I don't really feel like I have a particular talent for anything. I have plenty of creative hobbies, but I feel like anything I can make is the result of lots of mistakes and practice and research. But I'm willing to try my hand at lots of things: resin craft, pixel art, photography, lampwork (glass), papercraft, sound mixing, video editing...I'm very much the jack of all trades. The difficulty is staying with something long enough to finish a larger project.

9. Where were you born?

Rural Wales. If you point out any castles, standing stones or ruined abbeys within a hundred miles or so, I've probably been there!

10. What are your hobbies?

Naturally writing, and all the aforementioned creative hobbies, but also gaming. Big fan of interesting narratives and puzzle-based games.

11. Have you any pets?

My problem child, Blackadder the cat, who is both very smart and very silly, so I think he lives up to his name well.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I am very much not a sportsperson. In school, we were forced to play hockey and netball, but that was more years ago than I really want to admit...

13. How tall are you?

Somewhere a little taller than 150cm but not by that much.

14. Favorite subject in school?

I had an amazing Sociology teacher who loved challenging our expectations and showing us new cultures as best he could in a very rural Welsh school. His passion was truly infectious and I sincerely hope he's having an amazing life, wherever he is now.

15. Dream job?

Independently published (and moderately to wildly successful) author who is somehow entirely anonymous outside of their body of work.

16. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos? 

There are so many different species of owls that I'm going to go owls. There are tiny little Burrowing owls, huge European owls, or the silent graceful Barn owls we're more likely to see in the wild near me.

17. What is your favorite soup?

Maybe not technically a soup, but I make a damn good chilli chicken ramen if I do say so myself!

18. What is your favorite…rock (idfk)?

Blue John is a very particular mineral found close to some of my family members and when it's cut and polished it's got a very beautiful blue/purple crystal structure. I've been down a lot of the different mines where it has been found, so I have a bit of an appreciation of the history and how the discovery and sale of it has influenced the local area for the better.

19. Choose a familiar: 1) very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever 2) a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants 3) a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks

Raven. I can never decide on what to eat, and I feel like this would be a lot easier if someone just shouted the answer at me.

20. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them? 

Jupiter. Why have you got so many moons, huh? Why do we only get the one? Ours is lonely, I think she needs a girlfriend. I think at least one of Jupiter's moons would be happier over here.

21. if you were a worm would you love me? this worm question courtesy of ✨ @/legiomiam✨

No, but only because I think I would be beyond the capacity for emotions more complex than 'this dirt is so moist and delicious, this is amazing'.

22. Least favorite type of clothing?

High heels. I never learnt to walk in them, and I care about my comfort too much to want to learn now!

23. You are now in a horror movie—so sorry. Chance of survival?

On the one hand, I'm an anxious mess who can't handle watching many horror movies. On the other hand, I do cope with IRL crises well at the time and then panic later. And I am handy with power tools. So I think I'll just manage to survive the worst, manage to hunker down with any other survivors and just when I think we're safe and I'm distracted, that's when the horrors will get me.

24. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?

Moustache. Take my 'what is gender?' vibes to the next level. And I'm tired of shaving my pathetic little wispy one away. I don't mind the facial hair, I mind that it's patchy and inconsistent!

25. What do you think of whales?

They're just chilling out in the ocean in their family groups and singing long-distance conversations with each other and I think we could learn a lot from that.

#ame talks #ask game #tag game #open to anyone

[revolttoevolve]

And so it began.....

It was 28th December 2018 and I was coming down from of a three-day drinking bender. Depressed out of my arse that even taking Flash (my beloved Border Collie who passed away Sep 2020) out for his walk wasn't so much a struggle as it was a full-on war with anxiety. 

This particular low point in my life wasn’t without reason. My boyfriend and I had broken off our 2-and-a-half-year relationship and I’d recently cut ties with my Dad (for reasons that I will go into later), both things were raw and so emotionally overwhelming that the only thing I seemed capable of, was crying and getting drunk. To be honest, though, it didn't matter why I was stuck in my box of anxiety this time, the destination never changed. I am alone in the dark cradling my dog and a bottle of wine. 

As my hazy brain was coming out of the massive boozy insult, my thoughts didn’t go to the usual place. Normally, at this stage, I would start daydreaming about a future Lou, a happy Lou that is not slowly becoming the size of a walrus and pickling her liver at an alarming rate.

This time, my thought process went straight for the jugular. No matter how hard I tried to daydream about a better version of myself, I'm stuck with this one. And I've been stuck with this version of me since my late teens and at the rate that things are going I will hit my 40th and I'll still be sitting in the dark hugging my dog and a bottle of wine feeling lonelier than ever. I couldn't bear the thought, it made my head spin more than any bottle ever could. 

Then it hit me. One of my favourite quotes that I had smugly dished out so often, smacked me in the face like a cold wet kipper. 

'The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.' Good old Einstein. 

Why in the world did I expect my life to change if I didn't change anything in my life? It was madness. But what? What could I do differently?

Of course, I already knew the answer to that, I had always known the answer to that. I need to sort my drinking out. In every fantasy of my future, all the Lou's every single one of them didn't drink or at least didn't need a drink and none of them was lonely. 

Terrifying. Not the concept of giving up booze, that I was ready for and I can’t explain how I knew I was, but this time and for the first time I just was. Telling people, that was the scary part. I didn't want the attention on it, I just wanted to get my head down and get on with it. I didn’t know how bad it was. If it was a serious drink problem, I wanted to get my head around knowing I needed help before I was ready to ask for it. 

So, I started racking my brain – what could I do as subterfuge? I looked at my books for inspiration. My go-to.... if in doubt stare at books. And they didn’t fail me, I have three books on marathon training. I got them back in 2011, in preparation for running my first one. I pulled out all three books and for some reason felt the need to hug them, which made Flash jealous and shouty (he hated not being involved in every cuddle situation.) then decided it was time to run my third Brighton Marathon, 7 years after my last one and 8 years after my first.

I would run in 2020 which gave me 1 year and 4 months to train for it. So I could now attribute whatever change I made to my diet to training. Boom!

Next. Food 

Like everything else in my life, my diet was in conflict. On the one hand, I was healthy and loved to cook. The recipe books were always out even though I never really followed them and just liked looking at the pictures. On the other hand, the deeper I was inside my box of anxiety the less I cared about food and the more I cared about wine. Then it would be late-night takeaways, which were finished for breakfast and a meal deal for lunch, along with sweets (usually to combat the shakes), and the recipe books gathering dust. 

The sugar detox had been on my radar ever since a couple of former colleagues had done the detox for 30 days. I was astonished at the difference no sugar made they were more alert, full of energy and just looked super healthy. I had never considered for a second giving it a go myself, largely because of course that would mean no booze and I hadn't been ready for that. But now the sugar detox was perfect for that very reason. NO BOOZE! 

Goals are set, and so to the research...

#sobriety #weight loss #running #marathon #trauma #childhood #sugar detox #workout

[westernparadise]

History

Something that is bewildering to me and also what I've realized literally just a few moments ago, is that "the history of mankind is finite." That is true and untrue in both counts, considering that there used to be various Buddhas before Shakyamuni, and we the human species have been existing in this universe for eons (aka an astronomical number). But preexisting notions of the mankind is not relevant in this standpoint. I'm talking about "us," people living on earth. I don't know the exact number of we the humans on this planet, but basically it's been a couple million years since Earth has been around. So I suppose it's not completely impossible to read up on the entirety of our history, on the whole, because it is finite. It's funny how for decades I actually held the belief that the stretch of history before this present moment is infinite, just like what our future is like. I forgot we are limited in that sense, in the sense of what "time" and our existence is like.

I keep finishing teaching the material before the designated time in my English classes, and in one of our weekly classes for three consecutive weeks, my students have been talking about the Three Body Problem. They were so enthusiastic that I've decided to take a look for myself - and upon the first 30 seconds of the series, I wanted to literally bawl my eyes out. It was the Cultural Revolution that which took place from 1966 to 1976, a period of time that isn't talked about anymore in the modern era. I was torn. I am an avid reader and lover of the linguistic and literary world, and to see the scenes being acted out on the screen was torturous for me. This was exactly what happened during the Qin Dynasty and the Mao Zedong Era. Intellectuals, writers, and professors being abused openly and publicly, on stage at most times, physically and mentally manipulated, tortured, and ridiculed for their abilities and endeavors in their fields. What a painful era! How painfully ignorant and stupid were the emperor and Chairman who decided that those violent acts and brutality against humanity would be in any way beneficial to their country, or the humanity at large. It wasn't just a backwards movement. It was a tainted stain, a trauma that the Chinese would live on for decades ahead of them. It's a miracle that in a mere fifty years, China would be living in full glory now. Fifty years is nothing. In the celestial heavens, fifty years doesn't even amount to one single day there. It's a miracle and an utter wonder how China have grown and risen from the ashes to the majestic kingdom it is now. However, during my stay in Xiamen, I picked up a couple literary works in a local bookstore, and I was amazed at how completely distorted the viewpoint and values of the authors were. My stance was further cemented in one of the books that Hsu Rui Yun, a clinical psychotherapist, has written. In her book, she said, "Be careful when reading Chinese literary works, don't say I didn't warn you, you could really get brain sick." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, all the while wondering if this has resulted directly and indirectly from the Cultural Revolution. And even though Taiwan has really preserved well traditional Chinese culture and the meritorious virtues of the past generations and our ancestors, I feel like the youth of the global community is coming down with something - some sort of Internet addiction that the Gen Z generation just couldn't pull away from. What with Snapchat Dysmorphia, Fat Acceptance, and people beating the victim drum and being oh-so-eager to participate in a competition to see who is the biggest loser/victim, some of us really struggle to stay afloat in keeping our sanity still intact. Us living in this "flat world" got to have an insanely protective shield/filter when consuming Internet content. All in all, it's a struggle for eternity. Much dire times lie ahead...

[theyaremycrocsyoudonut]

Thank you @anthruser for tagging me! I've never done one of these before so any and all corrections/recommendations are welcome.

🔠Name: I'm hiding my Tumblr account from a couple of friends so I don't want to say my name, but for the sake of brevity I guess you can call me Don (theyaremycrocsyoudonut haha get it ba-dum tssss)

🌀How do you pronounce your own Tumblr handle in your head? My username is a combination of the "what are those???" "They are my crocs" meme and Gordon Ramsay yelling at some poor wannabe chef and calling him a donut. So I imagine the crocs meme in a really angry Gordon Ramsay voice

🪟When you look out the window right now what do you see? The apartment complex beside mine. I wish I could see some trees though. Trees fuck

💼What is the most unusual profession someone in your family was in? I can't think of one that really stands out. Almost everyone in my family practices an "unusual" profession, but not like mind-boggling unusual, you know. My mother is a counselor for the ministry of immigration, specializing in securing EU programs and funding for the immigrants. My dad is responsible for the security of my country's equivalent of the Pentagon, I think it is the ministry of external affairs? My grandfather was the captain of various cargo ships and travelled the entirety of the world like 3-4 times, which for me is the coolest profession on the list. My other grandfather was a helicopter pilot and a meteorologist for the Air Force.

🎨What hobby were you really into as a kid? I was really into speedcubing. Then I continued to learn how to solve new cubes till I was about 16. I wasn't ever freakishly good at it but I was decent. My personal best at the classic 3x3 was 29.7 seconds and I intend to get into this hobby again when I finish my exams and lower it even more.

🔍First autofill Google result when you type 'How can I...? "How can I see who unfollowed me on Instagram" Turns out you can't unless you search for them by name

🎶If you were the main character in a sitcom, what song would be playing during the opening credits? Oraia tipissa I zoi- by Psycho(or by Akikloforita on Spotify)

🎬What's the last movie you watched? The Iron Claw. Holy fuck you cannot understand how much of a masterpiece this film was. It baffles me how it did not get a single Oscar nomination. Visually it was a masterpiece. I don't cry easily, but this movie had me slobbering like a 7 year old. Those few final scenes and the reference on ancient Greek mythology fucking broke me. 10/10 please watch this immediately or I will explode.

🎥What's your favorite movie genre? Whatever Tarantino makes (ik that as a person he sucks but his movies are FIRE) and the entire genre of "obsessed artist"(see Whiplash, I, Tonya, Black Swan and such)

🍿What movie would you recommend? I could go on forever but I'm going to try and be brief. All of the aforementioned films + Pour Things (an ode to absurdism), Babylon (truly an underrated gem), Eteros Ego (the best film of modern Greek cinema, an amazingly well put thriller and can be found on YouTube with English subs).

👯‍♀️Do your IRL humans know about your fandom life? Well, because of my inability to shut up they know about it. The thing is, I don't want them to see just how deep my shameless obsession goes. Which has created a problem, cause now they're BEGGING me to give them my username. I've promised to give it to them after our exams, so shout-out to R and T if they're seeing this then. Love you guys 🫶🫶🫶

🚣🏼‍♀️If you could do one activity with your pocket/fandom friends what would it be? We would go to John Wells's house and very kindly set it on fire <3. Then we would go for a picnic or something idk.

I don't know most of you personally, so I don't want to be annoying and tag anyone that doesn't want to be tagged. I'd love to get to know more about you all though so I have someone to tag in the future!

#shameless #tag game