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#i'm speaking from experience when i say it works like a dream
redbootsindoriath · 2 years
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After I answered that ask about my thoughts on autistic Beleg and Túrin, a couple of people took the bait and asked about my headcanons (as opposed to just the reasons I interpret them as autistic).  And of course I am always delighted to share headcanons.  Be aware that a few of them here and there will overlap with things I mentioned in the other post, so I’m apologizing in advance for any redundancy; but aside from those, please bear in mind that most of the things on this list are just my own original ideas with absolutely no direct supporting evidence from canon.  If you want canon stuff instead, you’d be happier reading the other post.  But for those who don’t mind me taking a bit of artistic license with the characters, the headcanons are under the cut.
Stims: • Túrin slams doors when he’s anxious, angry, or bored, or even if he just thinks things are too quiet.  Later in life he develops a stim where if he has a sword at his side he frequently grips the hilt, brushes his fingers across the pommel, or otherwise is touching/handling it.  It gets even more frequent the more nervous he is.  He is unaware that this makes him look angry and/or dangerous.  He also draws his eyebrows together to “reset” his facial features if he’s overstimulated, which of course doesn’t help him look any less threatening. • Beleg brushes or taps the fingertips of one hand against each other whenever he is concentrating and his hands aren’t busy.  If he’s stressed and silence isn’t necessary, he’ll snap his fingers to reset his focus.  He is also obsessed with interesting textures: if there’s something that looks like it might feel interesting to touch, he will absolutely go and brush his hands across it.  If he is sitting down while happy, excited, or nervous, he will bounce one or both of his legs like a dog wagging its tail, but he always stops once he notices he’s doing it.  He also has a neutral stim where he twists his forelock around his forefinger. • Both of them tend to pace: Túrin does it to relieve stress when he’s nervous, Beleg does it to let off energy when he’s bored or impatient.
Sensory things: • Túrin has trouble with certain textures, especially clothing textures.  This is easy enough to manage while he lived in Dor-lómin and in Menegroth, but after his self-banishment it became more difficult for him to find the very specific fabrics that he was comfortable wearing.  He has difficulty picking out a single conversation out when there are overlapping voices, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.  Around the people he trusts, he is very physical.  Hugs, headbutts, wrestling, brushing fingertips, he loves it all, and the deeper the pressure the better, but only with the people he trusts.  When he was young, he had many food aversions, but after moving to Doriath he trained himself to handle more variety.  This became especially useful during his time on the marches and with the outlaws, where it was more a question of whether or not you’d be eating at all than what you would be eating. • Beleg, being an elf, has keener hearing than Túrin, and this has been heightened even more by sensory processing disorder.  This ridiculously sensitive hearing is part of what makes him such a brilliant tracker, but it also means he dislikes crowded places.  He, like Túrin, finds it unusually hard to carry a conversation when there are others talking around him.  There are also many sounds that he is extremely averse to.  (Despite all of this sound sensitivity, however, he still cannot judge the volume of his own voice when he gets excited.  This confuses people who don’t know him well.)  Overall, he has a lot of sensory processing problems and is very prone to sensory overload of all kinds.  This includes touch: while he likes deep pressure and shows physical affection almost aggressively at times (wrestling, punching in the arm, etc.), he doesn’t like to be touched unexpectedly, too lightly, or for too long.
Social: • Túrin has a terrible time with the concept of personal space.  Naturally he often stands very close to other people, which of course makes them uncomfortable, but later in life, once he’s got an unhealthy case of post-traumatic stress disorder, he becomes very uncomfortable whenever someone else stands too close to him.  He still automatically stands too close to others, though, which is a terrible combination.  He is also stubborn (as we all know), doesn’t respond well to correction, and has a hard time understanding subtle methods of communication, but he doesn’t know how to communicate any of this and as a result he usually just comes across as sullen while really he just doesn’t know how to tell anyone that he doesn’t understand them or know how to deal with his own very complex inner thoughts in response to them.  He also gets nervous in crowds but doesn’t actually let himself leave until he’s exhausted all his other options.  He is absolutely awful with reading social cues and although he learns to read them through practice, the harder he tries to get better the more humiliated and frustrated he becomes when he still fails now and then. • Beleg can socialize in moderate sized groups for a little while, but once he’s had enough he can and will leave without any warning at all.  If given the choice, he would rather hang out alone or with only one person at a time.  Sometimes his friends will find him sitting up somewhere high, watching everyone else socialize, because to Beleg this counts as socializing.  He’s not very clever with social cues, but no one knows if it’s because he’s completely missing them or because he’s willfully ignoring them.  He entirely avoids eye contact unless he’s trying to get a point across very clearly, trying to intimidate someone, or trying to read someone’s expressions (the last of which does not come naturally but he has gotten pretty good at it over millennia of practice). • Both of them might seem somewhat antisocial, or at least asocial, to the casual observer, but this is just because they have their Very Specific People that they love to hang out with.  Put them with their favorite people and they’ll talk enough to satisfy pretty much anybody’s social standards.  Since both of them had to learn non-literal figures of speech through observing the ways others interacted and then experimenting with it themselves, their attempts are a bit hit-or-miss.  This means that they fluctuate between being overly literal and overly cryptic, usually at the wrong time for both.  Combine this with their stubbornness and intensity when it comes to the things that matter most to them, it’s probably just as well that neither of them really seek out too much social interaction.
Other habits: • Beleg is extra susceptible to hyperfocus and hyperfixations, to the point that it has become a joke among his friends to bring one up in front of him and see how quickly he drops whatever he was doing before. His two settings are utter chill and utter chaos and he can switch between the two in the blink of an eye.
How this all affects their interactions with each other: • Since Túrin loves physical touch and Beleg can only handle certain types of it, they’ve figured out how to come to a balance.  Beleg will give Túrin bear hugs, and Túrin alerts Beleg (either verbally or with hand/posture gestures) before making casual physical contact (even if he’s just going to be sitting right next to him). • Neither of them are naturally skilled at picking up on subtle hints, so they both know to be very clear about when they’re upset with the other.  They know that as long as they can get the problem into the open and don’t get offended by each other’s bluntness, they’re quite good at settling their differences in a way that’s perfectly satisfactory to both of them. • Beleg has had much more experience with being autistic in a mostly allistic world, so early on when he recognized some of the difficulties Túrin’s was trying to deal with, he started to suggest coping methods that he had found useful.  Túrin soon began asking Beleg about whether he had problems with this or that, and whenever Beleg came back after being gone for a considerable length of time Túrin would meet him at the front gate of Menegroth with a list of questions he had written down during his time away.
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bumblebeesfromvenus · 2 months
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Here are some German specific quirks I think König would have <3
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
(yes, I know he's Austrian, but the difference is really only that they talk funny and have better desserts)
♡ he HATES fans and air conditioning. Like I'm talking disdain from the deepest pits of hell kinda hate.
Ceiling fans and AC are not a thing here, and literally every German looks at it with a very disapproving look if there happens to be one somewhere.
König absolutely refuses to sleep with the fan or AC on, just open a window, Liebling!
He's so upset that he can't put the window "auf kipp" :( (pls Google it, it's so hard to explain lol) like he's crushed that he can't keep the windows "auf kipp" all day.
You have a ceiling fan? Nope, not anymore. That thing is getting taken down the minute you move in together. But if you insist on keeping it, he'll secretly cut the cable to the switch.
Everyone knows all they do is whirl around dust and make you sick! He's not having it.
König acts like artificial ventilation is his worst enemy (I agree with him) and he'd rather suffocate than turn on the goddamn AC.
♡ Sundays are strictly lazy/rest days. Nothing's open on Sundays here, so we're forced to relax and not run around like headless chickens trying to get things done.
He's absolutely baffled if you have plans to go somewhere on a Sunday. What do you mean you need to run errands? What do you mean you're going out? And if you want him to come along?? Yeah, no.
His brain stops working. After the many years he's been alive, not once has he gone somewhere on a Sunday that wasn't his Oma's house for Kaffee und Kuchen.
You're not going anywhere. Plans are canceled, and you better spend the day on the couch with him.
♡ König probably misses all the beautiful old architecture Vienna has to offer. You don't quite appreciate it as much when it's just there all the time, but now he wishes he could quietly people watch in the city center :(
In my mind he's a bit of a history nerd, so he probably frequented museums and castles, admiring the delicately sculpted ceilings and wondering how people lived back then.
He'd be most fascinated by the masonry work done on the outside of most buildings. I mean, that's stone, but it's so smooth and carefully crafted.
♡ there are some very weird sayings in German that you just can't translate because they don't make sense. König is sick of having to awkwardly try to explain what they mean after he's been caught muttering one under his breath, only to realize halfway through that he looks like a maniac.
German is a very literal language, and I think he misses speaking it. We have very specific words for some things and he probably struggles to talk in English sometimes purely because the words he wants to use just don't exist.
(I'm very upset they didn't give him an Austrian accent bc it's one of my favorites, but I can also confidently say that I think he wouldn't be taken seriously at all if he had one lmao)
♡ König goes on random ass walks sometimes. Where's he going? On a walk. No, like where is he going? HE'S GOING ON A WALK.
There's no destination, you just walk. No matter the weather. Ya walk until you feel like you've walked enough. (A very German experience and I hate it)
♡ dreams of his Oma's Kaiserschmarn (me too, König, me too.)
It's basically a giant pancake that you tear into little pieces (traditionally, it has raisins too, I think) and you eat with either cinnamon sugar or applesauce (or both) and you will drift up to heaven.
It's warm, it's fluffy, it's sweet;
It's perfect for a gloomy Friday afternoon spent with his Oma and Opa 🥺
(Can you tell that I'm projecting)
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
"Auf kipp" is a very specific window position where only the bottom two hinges stay attached so you can tilt the window towards you and a little crack is open so you can always have fresh air!
"Oma und Opa" grandma and grandpa, which he loves so much, undoubtedly.
"Kaffe und Kuchen" basically tea time. You get together and eat cake and have coffee! Mostly on the weekends :)
"Kaiserschmarn" what dreams are made of.
🩷
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999h34rt · 9 days
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FLATLINE | PAIGE BUECKERS
➣ paige x fem!gf!reader
➣ summary: y/n and paige experience what it means to be in a long distance relationship, but with the distance between them, can they overcome it?
➣ warning : secret relationship, angst (kinda) ,long distance.
➣ duayaps: first post🥳🥳🥳, thoughts?
➣ inspired by flatline by justin bieber.
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"I'LL MISS YOU" paige muttered against her neck.
"it'll go by before you know it" y/n said pulling away from the hug. When college applications started being filled, she took a big risk and applied for Politecnico di Milano, a fashion uni in Milan, Italy. She had already said goodbye to her parents, thinking that was the hardest goodbye she could imagine, but the tears in her eyes from saying goodbye to her girlfriend right now, told her she lied to herself a while ago.
Paige and y/n had always had a rocky side of their relationship, for one, it was a secret waiting to bomb the world, two, they always knew that long distance was going to be a thing for them. With Paige going to Uconn and Yn going to PDM, 'it was already doomed' said by most people. But overcoming the rocky side of their relationship, there was the fairytale side. The one where they in love, where they supported each other in everything, where they took each others first kisses, first everything. They were each other's lifelines in a way, they didn't go a day without speaking to each other.
They both hoped that these future 4 years, weren’t going to change their feelings of each other.
Lately you've been busy, wondering if you miss me
Why did you go against me? I just wanna know
How come you act so different? Talk to me, I'll listen
All the love I'm giving, don't act like you don't know
“…leave a message after the tone” y/n sighed as she hung up the phone. It was 7am and her alarm had just gone off, Paige was most likely asleep. It’s 1am at Storrs.
If you put the time difference aside, they were doing well. Both of them spent at least 2 hours everyday on the phone and haven’t had an any problems yet.
But it’s only been 5 months. 7 months and 3 years to go.
Y/n was glad Paige settled in great, she got along with her teammates and had a great support system there. Paige became a media star, with that came many fans. While y/n wasn’t the jealous type, these fans were wild.
She opened her instagram app, and slowly started to scroll through stories. When she stopped, went stiff. “Oh” she muttered, her girlfriend’s teammate, Aaliyah, had posted a story with the Uconn women’s basketball team having fun ,at what she would guess, a bar. Paige is in the background , a girl sitting next to her, whiles shes on the phone. Y/n quickly checked when the story was posted,10minutes ago.
‘Okay so she could’ve just posted this when she came home’ y/n quickly assured herself. Paige wouldn’t just ignore her calls, especially on a night out, right?
As those thoughts filled her head, a notification sound came from her phone.
pb 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽
gm baby. can’t talk, tired, going to bed.
y/n didn’t think anything, she couldn’t. She just typed ‘sweet dreams💗’ and hit send.
no i love you, no ily, not even an emoji.
‘Stop, don’t overthink this ,shes just tired’ she told herself. She shut her phone off and got out of bed, leaving her thoughts about P in her comfy bed.
:
It had been a month since the bar incident, and everything seemed normal, until a week ago.
Y/n just got out of work, a small intern job to help her graduate early. It was 6pm in Milan, and 12 in Storrs.On her way home, y/n called P.
The phone rang, 1,2,3 times before she hung up. Tried a gain, 1,2,3. User is busy.Paige had hung up on her, she didn’t think much of it. ‘She’s probs busy’.
That was 6 days ago.
While they exchange texts, no calls were made this week. Paige was busy, like really busy, But not busy ‘not go out with her friends for the 3rd time this week’ busy. Y/n got it, freshman year, new teammates, she had to have fun. She also knew that their relationship was on the down low. Even though she assured Paige that it was okay to tell her teammates, P reluctantly agreed. ‘I don’t know, i’ll see’ She muttered to y/n, 2 weeks ago on their normal facetime call.
Y/n didn’t want to think much of it, she didn’t want her overthinking to brew a fight. The last 2 years she was back home, her and paige had never gone a day without speaking to each other, but so what it stopped now?, it was common sometimes to not call. So she let it be, but Paiges text became more and more rare,more dry and definitely more weird.
But y/n knew, paige was just busy.
Girl you always catch me at the bad time (Bad time)
When I know you probably think it's a lie (A lie)
I know I told you last time was the last time (Last time)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
On the other end of the phone. Y/n hit the red button, and ended the call. She hit her head on the wall behind her in frustration, thankful that the call wasn’t on facetime and Paige could see her sad face.
Y/n had called in sick at work so she could watch Paiges game in peace, her boss gave her an earful, because it was one of the more busier seasons in the fashion world, but she let her be ‘sick in bed’. She was proud of Paige, and was the happiest for her.
But the mood drifted when she heard the voice tell her they need her. ‘I need her too’ Y/n thought. This was the first time in a month that Y/n heard Paiges voice. Her heart clenched when she heard her sound weird, it sounded like she was frustrated. Frustrated with who though, with y/n?.
As time went quick, it felt like Paiges texts were more rare, and even more dry. And Y/n didn’t know if Paige was aware of the way she was acting, she also didn’t know if she should say anything, Paige was a freshman in college having fun, alone,without Y/n next to her.
If Y/n were to say anything, she didn’t want to seem like the bitchy jealous girlfriend that only wanted Paige to spend time with her, she just wanted Paige to spend some time with her.
It felt like their relationship was a bomb, and their time was running out quickly.
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline? (Flatline)
Cause when I hit you, you don't even reply (Reply)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
Not breathing, what is it I'm not seeing
Said she's leaving, damn I can't believe it
It's like my heart's bleeding knowing that you don't need me
Shut my heart down, now I don't know what Imma do now
“… i just need some space y/n” Paige said with frustration, a sigh coming after. Y/n’s heart dropped.
It all started an hour and a half ago.
Paige went out with her teammates after a late night practice, forgetting that y/n was waiting on her phone call that she promised she would do after practice.
After she came home, she was bombarded with messages from Y/n. 8 to be exact.
y/n💍
hey did you finish practice?
- 8:15PM
you ready?
- 8:18PM
paige?
- 8:20PM
paigeeeeeeee???
- 8:30PM
pbabyyyy
- 8:35PM
pls tell me u didn’t forget
- 8:45PM
paige are you fucking kidding me
- 9:45PM
it’s our anniversary
- 9:45PM
call me when you get home and make sure you’re not busy
- 9:50PM
And when she called, the yelling happened. It was the first fight they’ve had in a while. While Y/n finally exploded demanding to know what’s happening with her, Paige only had one thing to say.
“I think we should take a break”
“What?” Y/n whispered after a long pause.
“i’m not ready to be in a relationship Y/n/n, i’m still questioning what i want, and i don’t know if its you yet.” Paige said. “I’m sorry, i just need some space Y/n”
Y/n heart dropped, she didn’t know what to say or think. While Y/n knew that not everything lasted, Paige was a sure thing. Paige was her lifeline. What was she going to do?.
Y/n gulped and said the only thing she knew she could say “It’s okay”.
‘It’s okay?’ Paige was taken back. Had Y/n want to breakup before?, and then Paige shockingly felt hurt in her chest, her stomach slightly dropped. Why was she feeling like this? why isn’t she feeling relief?. This has been on Paiges mind for the past 3 months, wasn’t this the solution?
“Go be a superstar but don’t expect me to wait for you while you figure out what you want to do” Y/n said, her voice sweet. Not even a slight tone of bitterness.
Y/n still wasn’t able to move from her spot on the kitchen counter. Tears were streaming down her face, and before a sob sound could come, she hung up the phone. All Y/n knew was Paige, but know she didn’t even know that.
She had literally left her clueless, without her lifeline. now flatline.
- 5 MONTHS LATER -
Paige stood there, watching from her afar.
“That’s her?” a croatian accent asked. She felt Nika sit beside her. “Yeah” Paige answered still in awe of her.
“She’s really pretty” Nika said. Paige nodded agreeing with her. She was wearing a flowy white short summer dress with cowboy boots.
It was Drews birthday today, and as the team had some off time, Drew invited them to his barbecue party. And the weekend before his birthday, he ran into Y/n. Of course the boy was oblivious to the breakup and while he asked still asked Paige for Y/n, she didn’t have the heart to tell him that they broke up.
So when Drew begged Y/n to come to his birthday party, Y/n didn’t know what else to say but yes. He could literally get whatever he wanted out of everyone.
At first, Y/n debated if she should just call Paiges stepmom and cancel, or she should just go and pray that Paige couldn’t make it.
Well, Paige had come. And so did the rest of the huskies. When Y/n saw them, she sighed. Although she was friends with Azzi, she didn’t know the rest of them, but by the look on their faces when she came in, she knew that Paige had told them her history.
Azzi, being the sweetheart she is, excitedly came running to Y/n and hugging her tight. The whole party they caught up with each other, with Azzi telling her about Uconn and Y/n telling her about studying abroad. For the past 30 minutes they’ve been talking, not once have either of them mentioned Paige.
Y/n turned, meeting Paiges eyes. The two of them made eye contact with each other again. Y/n then heard Azzi laughed, when she snapped her head to look at her friend. She saw a small teasing smile on her face. “Don’t even start” Y/n said, glaring at her. She got up and made her way to the other side of the backyard, where there was no Paige in sight.
“Y/n/n” she heard a child scream. Drew was suddenly hugging her legs. “Hi Drewsky” she laughed, beginning to tickle him. She felt the boy starting to laugh, and start to kick her hands away, while Paige and her were together, Drew became a big part in their relationship. Paiges parents often made Paige babysit Drew, and Y/n just tagged along. Through that time, Drew and Y/n became close, Y/n considered him as a baby brother. She would miss him.
“Paigeyy help me” Drew screamed laughing. Y/n became stiff, the hair behind her neck stood. She could feel her ex behind her as she let the little boy go and stand up.
Paige and Y/n stared at one another. Paige was thankful her teammates weren’t around right now, they would be on her ass all day after this.
“Hi” Y/n whispered, looking away from her and to the ground.
“Hey” Paige said back. “How’ve you been-“
“Paige please no small talk, what do you want?” Y/n cut her off. This was already awkward enough, no need to make it even more.
“Uh” Paige stuttered, a sigh coming after. “I missed you” Paige admitted. Y/n’s blood boiled, now she missed me?
Paige could sense Y/n anger, she placed a hand on Y/n elbow, tugging her from leaving. “Please just wait” Paige pleaded “I’m sorry, i just didn’t know what to do i kept having all of this kind of feelings and i know i was busy but i swear just one more chance-“
“Paige” y/n cut her off
“- and i’ll promise i’ll try harder-“ paige continued
“-stop-“ she tried to stop her
“please just give me one more chance”
“-okay” she agreed. Paiges eyes went wide, she didn’t think she would get her to agree that easy.
“I only needed you to apologize P, i only want you to make some time for me thats all. And if were really trying this again you have to be sure you want this because i don’t know if i can handle loosing you again” She said still looking at the ground.
Paiges heart dropped hearing her voice break. Although she knew how Y/n felt, Paige had been nothing but moody,grumpy and miserable these past few months. Seeing Y/n today, brought her hope that she had a second shot with her.
Y/n slowly picked up her head, and looked up at Paige. Paige was jaw dropping hot, and she knew that, her head couldn’t get any bigger by her ego.
Paige reached a hand towards her waist, pulling Y/n towards her. When she did, she slowly dropped a sweet kiss on her girlfriends lips, when she pulled away, her forehead dropped to Y/n’s.
She felt like she could finally breathe, her chest no longer hurt. She had her lifeline back.
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charmedreincarnation · 4 months
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Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.
Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!
A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!
Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.
I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.
So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.
Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.
The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.
Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.
I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.
There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”
Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.
Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.
Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.
During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.
Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.
Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.
As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.
Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.
Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭
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Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.
Read this post.
This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes
“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.
And I was successful!
This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.
Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.
Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.
Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.
Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!
I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”
Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.
Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.
And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.
The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.
I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.
Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.
I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭
I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.
But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??
Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)
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yawnderu · 7 months
Note
My life is falling apart - could you write how Ghost might save reader from her emotionally abusive and toxic husband? I thank you, maybe one day I'll have someone like Simon.
Whoever you are, I'm here for you if you need to talk. Stay strong sweetheart, this too shall pass. 💖
CW: Emotional abuse, toxic relationships, hurt/comfort, protective Simon Riley.
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Simon had sneaked his way into your life with the same stealth he uses on missions— a man who barely spent any time at his apartment and was always away for what he said was just ''work''. The same man who after a few conversations, started bringing you small gifts from his missions, always something different that he thought you'd like.
Simon isn't dumb— far from it, he's always aware of his surroundings and throughout the years, he knows how to read people well. That's why it breaks him to see the way your smiles now came accompanied with a nervous look in your eyes whenever your husband was home, despite you and Simon simply being friendly towards one another.
Whenever he was back at his apartment, he started listening more and more. Paying even more attention to you, ear pressed against the wall while he listened to your husband berate you for a plethora of reasons, all of them more absurd than the other, the truth heavy on his shoulders, weighting him down like Atlas holding the sky.
Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to go inside your house and ravage your husband the same way he does so casually in the battlefield— but he can't. Simon Riley is not Ghost. Simon has to lay low, to ensure both his safety and yours, so he starts planning. Planning how to approach the issue, how to get you out of the situation and understand you better. He'd never admit it, but he spent the entire night reading the experiences of other married women when it comes to abusive marriages, restless dreams full of ideas on how in the bloody hell he'll get you out of this.
He waits until the next day once your husband leaves for work, waiting out five minutes that feel eternal just to make sure he doesn't come back. Unmasked and with very faint stains of eye black that he never seems to be able to fully remove, he knocks on your door. You answer with teary eyes, sniffling softly as you try your best to give him a small smile, yet he can see the pain. The same pain he saw in his mother's eyes his entire life.
''Simon!'' You greet, moving aside so he can enter your house, closing the door behind you as you both go to the living room.
''Would you like a cuppa?'' You offer and it takes him a few seconds to decide, ultimately nodding his head. Maybe this will be easier if you're both having a nice, warm drink. You come back minutes later with a tray and some crumpets, something you started buying when he casually mentioned liking them.
''Thank you.'' He takes a sip of the perfectly made chamomile tea, done the way he loves it— with two teaspoons of honey and hot. You give him a happier smile, the warmth of his presence wrapping around you like a secure blanket, a far cry from your marriage.
''Love...'' He begins and your full attention goes to him, noticing his serious tone and pensive expression.
''There's no easy way to say this, but with this place having thin walls, I sometimes hear things I shouldn't.'' You immediately know what he's talking about, but before you can apologize on behalf of your husband, he keeps speaking.
''You deserve so much better.'' He puts his cup down, eyes looking down to his hands— the hands he keeps ungloved just for you, the hands that are protected by his skull gloves whenever he's out in missions, so he can come back to you free of sin. He sits down next to you, one of his arms wrapping around your back reassuringly.
''Why are you still with him?'' There's a hint of desperation in his tone, thin eyebrows furrowed as he looks at you. You want to look away, but his brown eyes are almost hypnotic. So expressive, so telling whenever words aren't enough.
''I... I don't know.'' You reply with honesty, tone strained as you hold back tears and try to dig into your brain for any reasons you're with the man, yet nothing comes up. ''I don't have anywhere else to go to.''
Your words hurt him as much as they hurt you, looking at the potential you have that is being wasted on some ungrateful wanker who berates you for the smallest things.
''Run away with me.'' He suggests in a spur of the moment and before he can even process his own words, a small giggle escapes your lips. He raises an eyebrow as he looks down at you, curious as to what's so funny. Your giggling stops when you notice the expression on his face.
''You're serious?'' You ask carefully, not wanting to make a fool of yourself despite knowing he'd never joke about something like that.
''I'm serious, love. We could go somewhere far away from here, safe. You can leave all of this behind, just say the word.''
''I...'' He can see your hesitancy, his warm hand rubbing circles on your back while the other one holds your hand, thumb rubbing the back of your hand reassuringly.
''What if he finds me?'' It's the first question that comes to mind, not wanting to deal with more of his abuse if you ever manage to get away.
''He won't, doll. I can promise you that. I'll get some of my mates to watch out for you when I'm busy at work, if it helps you.'' He knows it will, and he already has highly trusted friends from the 141 in mind to watch out for you whenever he goes on solo missions.
It took almost two hours of convincing before you agreed, and that's where you are now. He's helping you inform the police about your situation and why you're going away, just in case your husband tries to report you missing.
Most of your belongings were left at the house, but... it surprisingly doesn't bother you. It'll be a new beginning, the same furniture that has witnessed years of abuse is now left behind, only a few clothes inside his car while you both leave the police station. You take a deep breath, the warmth of the sun washing over your skin as you close your eyes, a sincere smile on your face for the first time in years.
''Thank you, Simon.'' My angel, my savior.
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makapatag · 1 month
Text
realities, maximalism,and the need for big book™️
some gubat banwa design thoughts vomit: since the beginning of its development i've kind of been enraptured with trying to really go for "fiction-first" storytelling because PbtA games really are peak roleplaying for me, but as i wrote and realized that a lot of "fiction first" doesn't work without a proper sort of fictional foundation that everyone agrees on. this is good: this is why there are grounding principles, genre pillars, and other such things in many PbtA games--to guide that.
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broken worlds is one of my favs bc of sheer vibes
Gubat Banwa didn't have much in that sense: sure, I use wuxia and xianxia as kind of guideposts, but they're not foundational, they're not pillars of the kind of fiction Gubat Banwa wants to raise up. there wasn't a lot in the sense of genre emulation or in the sense of grounding principles because so much of Gubat Banwa is built on stuff most TTRPG players haven't heard about. hell, it's stuff squirreled away in still being researched academic and anthropological circles, and thanks to the violence of colonialism, even fellow filipinos and seasians don't know about them
this is what brought me back to my ancient hyperfixations, the worlds of Exalted, Glorantha, Artesia, Fading Suns... all of them have these huge tomes of books that existed to put down this vast sprawling fantasy world, right? on top of that are the D&D campaign settings, the Dark Suns and the Eberrons. they were preoccupied in putting down setting, giving ways for people to interact with the world, and making the world alive as much as possible.
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one of my main problems with gubat banwa was trying to convey this world that i've seen, glimpsed, dreamed of. this martial fantasy world of rajas and lakans, sailendras and tuns, satariyas and senapatis and panglimas and laksamanas and pandai... its a world that didn't really exist yet, and most references are steeped in either nationalism or lack of resources (slowly changing, now)
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i didn't want to fall back into the whole gazeteer tourist kind of shit when it came to writing GB, but it necessitated that the primary guidelines of Gubat Banwa were set down. my approach to it was trying to instill every aspect of the text, from the systems to the fluff text to the way i wrote to the way things were phrased, with the essence of this world i'm trying to put forward. while i wrote GB mainly for me and fellow SEAsian people, economically my main market were those in the first world countries that could afford to buy the book. grokking the book was always going to be severely difficult for someone that didn't have similar cultures, or are uninterested in the complexities of human culture. thus why GB had to be a big book.
in contemporary indie ttrpg spaces (where I mostly float in, though i must admit i pay more attention to SEAsia spaces than the usual US spaces) the common opinion is that big books like Exalted 3e are old hat, or are somewhat inferior to games that can cram their text into short books. i used to be part of that camp--in capitalism, i never have enough time, after all. however, the books that do go big, that have no choice to go big, like Lancer RPG, Runequest, Mage, Exalted are usually the ones that have something really big it needs to tell you, and they might be able to perform the same amount of text-efficient bursting at the seams flavor writing but its still not enough.
thats what happened to GB, which I wanted to be, essentially, a PbtA+4e kind of experience, mechanically speaking. i very soon abandoned those titles when i delved deeper into research, incorporated actual 15th century divination tools in the mechanics, injected everything with Martial Arts flavor as we found our niche
all of this preamble to say that no matter how light i wanted to go with the game, i couldnt go too light or else people won't get it, or i might end up writing 1000 page long tome books explaining every detail of the setting so people get it right. this is why i went heavy on the vibes: its a ttrpg after all. its never gonna be finished.
i couldnt go too light because Gubat Banwa inherently exists on a different reality. think: to many 3 meals a day is the norm and the reality. you have to eat 3 meals a day to function properly. but this might just be a cultural norm of the majority culture, eventually co opted by capitalism to make it so that it can keep selling you things that are "breakfast food" or "dinner food" and whatnot. so its reality to some, while its not reality to others. of course, a lot of this reality-talk pertains mostly to social--there is often a singular shared physical reality we can usually experience*
Gubat Banwa has a different fabric of reality. it inherently has a different flow of things. water doesn't go down because of gravity, but because of the gods that make it move, for example. bad things happen to you because you weren't pious or you didn't do your rituals enough and now your whole community has to suffer. atoms aren't a thing in gb, thermodynamics isn't a real thing. the Laws of Gubat Banwa aren't these physical empirical things but these karmic consequent things
much of the fiction-first movement has a sort of "follow your common sense" mood to it. common sense (something also debatable among philosophers but i dont want to get into that) is mostly however tied to our physical and social realities. but GB is a fantasy world that inherently doesn't center those realities, it centers realities found in myth epics and folk tales and the margins of colonized "civilization", where lightnings can be summoned by oils and you will always get lost in the woods because you don't belong there.
so Gubat Banwa does almost triple duty: it must establish the world, it must establish the intended fiction that arises from that world, and then it must grant ways to enforce that fiction to retain immersion--these three are important to GB's game design because I believe that that game--if it is to not be a settler tourist bonanza--must force the player to contend with it and play with it within its own terms and its own rules. for SEAsians, there's not a lot of friction: we lived these terms and rules forever. don't whistle at night on a thursday, don't eat meat on Good Friday, clap your hands thrice after lighting an incense stick, don't make loud noise in the forests. we're born into that [social] reality
this is why fantasy is so important to me, it allows us to imagine a different reality. the reality (most of us) know right now (i say most of us because the reality in the provinces, the mountains, they're kinda different) is inherently informed by capitalist structures. many people that are angry at capitalist structures cannot fathom a world outside capitalist structures, there are even some leftists and communists that approach leftism and revolution through capitalism, which is inherently destructive (its what leads to reactionaries and liberalism after all). fantasy requires that you imagine something outside of right now. in essence read Ursula K Le Guin
i tweeted out recently that you could pretty easily play 15-16th century Luzon or Visayas with an OSR mechanic setting and William Henry Scott's BARANGAY: SIXTEENTH CENTURY PHILIPPINE CULTURE AND SOCIETY, and I think that's purely because barebones OSR mechanics stuff fits well with the raiding and adventuring that many did in 15-16th century Luzon/Visayas, but a lot of the mechanics wont be comign from OSR, but from Barangay, where you learn about the complicated marriage customs, the debt mechanics, the social classes and stratum...
so thats why GB needs to be a (relatively) big book, and why I can contend that some books need to be big as well--even if their mechanics are relatively easy and dont need more than that, the book, the game, might be trying to relay something even more, might be trying to convey something even more than that. artesia, for example, has its advancements inherently tied to its Tarot Cards, enforcing that the Arcana guides your destiny. runquest has its runes magic, mythras (which is kinda generic) has pretty specific kinds of magic systems that immediately inform the setting. this is why everything is informed by something (this is a common Buddhist principle, dependent arising). even the most generic D&D OSR game will have the trappings of the culture and norms of the one that wrote and worked on it. its written from their reality which might not necessarily be the one others experience. that's what lived experience is, after all
*live in the provinces for a while and you'll doubt this too!
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badasgirlfriend · 7 months
Note
hey! hope you’re having a good day, could I request bada x reader, they’re both competing in swf2 but it’s a secret relationship? thanks!
Loving In Secret | Bada Lee Imagine
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pairings: bada lee x fem! reader
a/n: SORRY for making mina evil, just bc i made her like that in this imagine doesn't mean she's evil irl. Also Y/N dances Badas choreo when she battles against Mina
Y/N was holding Bada's hand as they were watching their teams group evaluation. Bada had told her she had nothing to worry about but she still cared, despite trying to put up a tough front.
"I told you not to worry," Bada reassured. "There's nothing to be scared of."
"Yeah, I know." Y/N smiled back nervously, squeezing Bada's hand. "I'm just a bit worried about what they'll say about the girls."
Y/N and Bada have been dating for three years, a secret known only to their team. The team frequently teased the pair, even referring to them as their parents.
While Y/N and Bada wouldn't admit it to anyone, they were secretly terrified of the reactions they would receive if they made their relationship public. The team was their safe space, but the outside world was full of judgements and potential consequences. Despite their love, they weren't sure if it was a risk they could take.
Y/N was now more energized and focused as the video playing of the other teams talking about them began. "Who's the most successful there? Bada and Y/N" Y/N rolled her eyes when she saw Mina talking
"Bada is taking over the choreography world," Lia Kim said making Y/N squeeze Bada's hand, her smile growing wider.
"Why don't we get closer" Bada suggested, now that the girls were offering up their harsh criticism. Y/N and her members followed along, stopping near her.
"Bada and Y/N are more popular than their own talent"
"Y/N is just a pretty face nothing more. When you see her dance you don't get excited"
"When you look at her students they just look like Bada's copycats." a member of Mannequin said
Y/N let out a chuckle, she was starting to become really frustrated, everything they said wasn't true. They felt threatened by her members since they are young and talented, of course they're up for criticism but not this harsh
Then Mina showed up once more and Y/N knew that she was gonna talk about her again. "Y/N may profess to be a dancer, but in reality, she's just a little poser, someone who tries too hard to be cool and trendy without having the true skills or experience to back it up. Honestly if it wasn't for her pretty face and-" Mina paused, holding her fingers up and gently brushing them together, indicating money in a gesture. "No agency would accept her. She's BEBEs downfall,"
Y/N knew that she and Mina had a history of disagreements. Although Mina had started it, that didn't mean she had to downgrade and not credit the girl about her hard work over the years. While it was true that her family was wealthy, it didn't mean that her success came simply from her privileged background. She had put in the time and effort to make her dreams a reality.
Y/N disliked Mina for sure, but she would never speak of her in such a condescending and harsh manner. The words Mina used went beyond criticism
Before she could say anything, Bada beat her to it. The tall girl let out a chilly laugh, her sharp gaze drawing everyone's attention. Y/N looked at her girlfriend, her tongue pressed against her cheek as she stared at the TV. Her arms were resting on her head and her expression was bland and emotionless.
"I didn't like that." Bada said, her tone cold, she returned to her seat, her body language stiff and her eyes filled with cold fury. Y/N was well aware of her mood, knowing that her girlfriend was extremely angry. She could feel the tension build in the air, and she was certain that Bada was not about to forgive and forget the matter. If anything, it seemed like she was about to unleash a storm.
"Calm down, you know what she said wasn't true, it was just meant to get under your skin." The younger girl, Cheche, said to the couple as they sat down.
Bada could not calm down. Not when someone spoke to Y/N in that way. She didn't mind if people said whatever they wanted to her, it didn't bother her at all. But when they talked about Y/N, that's when her temper flared. She was protective of her girlfriend and would always stand up for her against any kind of disrespect or unfair treatment. Y/N was her main priority, and it didn't matter what anyone else thought. Bada was not about to let anyone step on her or Y/N in any way, shape or form. As for Mina Young she her team will have it coming
A large text appeared on the screen, stating "NO RESPECT." It stayed there for a few seconds, drawing the attention of the whole room. Y/N's eyes widened as she saw that she had received five NO RESPECTs, and she couldn’t help but burst into laughter.
"Cute" Y/N said showing her her girlfriend the stickers she got, Bada looked at her and smiled, hugging her sideways.
After Tsubakill, Mannequin and Wolf'lo's evaluation video was over, it was now Deep n Daps' turn. Y/N and Bada both sat up straight, eagerly awaiting for them. The tension was thick in the air, and everyones eyes were on the duo
Yells could be heard coming from the green team as they entered the large studio, their voices echoing off the walls. Mina felt someone's eyes on her while they were walking downstairs. She looked over at the BEBE team and was startled to see the hostile glare from Y/N and Bada. The tension was thick, and Mina felt her heart rate quicken as she felt a chill run down her spine.
She gulped and broke eye contact, making Y/N scoff and shake her head. But Bada was still glaring at Mina until her team sat down, and the evaluation for Deep n Daps finally began.
After every team was done, the staff informed the girls that they could now go change for their upcoming No Respect battle.
Y/N entered the changing room, she wore her white low rise sweatpants, which made her figure pop. A baby blue scoop back bra emphasized her features and added a touch of style. She grabbed her Bebe jersey with her name on the back, but Bada grabbed her making her flinch.
"You scared me"
"You get scared easily baby" "Bada chuckled and said,
Y/N playfully rolled her eyes and pouted her lips. Bada gave her signature smile and kissed her softly, drawing her close as she caressed her cheek.
"Here," Bada offered, passing her jersey over "Wear mine and I'll wear yours" Y/N sighed, about to say no, when Bada interrupted. "No one will mistake us for a couple. Best friends exchange clothes all the time," Bada explained, her words making perfect sense.
"But it's not just any jersey, Bada. It has your name on it," Y/N protested.
Bada groaned, her forehead meeting Y/N's. "Come on," she pleaded.
"Bada-"
Bada cut her off, kissing her tenderly. Y/N melted into the kiss, giving in to the moment. Their eyes were closed, their minds focused solely on the feeling of their mouths meeting.
Their kiss was stopped, as they were interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. 'Keep it PG, bitches,' Tatter's voice rang out, followed by the light laughter of the other girls.
"Here," Y/N gave her jersey to Bada "We need to get going if we don't want to be late," she adds.
She then promptly pulls the jersey over her head, her shoulders slipping into the fabric, the the jersey falling down past her hips and to her thighs.
˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊
"LETS GO BADA LEE!" Y/N cheered, full of energy as it is her girlfriend's turn to dance. Redy picking Bada as her no respect dancer was a big mistake, but nonetheless Y/N loved the confidence
Y/N laughed as Bada came really close to Redy, mocking her for her height, she didn't even look at her she just looked above her head. She was really glad she was tall, almost as Bada, so her girlfriend couldn't tease Y/N about her height
Y/N's eyes remained fixed on Bada's body, her gaze never wavering from the dancer. She saw Bada dance a hundred times and it still left her speechless "SEXY!," Y/N exclaimed, she shook Tatters's shoulder, trying to contain her excitement.
As Bada's dance ended, everyone were on the edge of their seats, waiting eagerly to see which card the judges would display. The BEBE team erupted with joy and excitement, jumping up and down as all three judges turned over BEBE's card. Y/N quickly embraced Bada, her arms tightly wrapped around her girlfriend
After an hour of everyone battling each other, Y/N went up against Redlic and Mimi, she won both battles securing more wins for BEBE
"Y/N of BEBE, please pick your No Respect Dancer" the host Kang Daniel called out her name making her smirk as her eyes immediately met with Minas
As Y/N stood up, her friends cheered loudly for her and began patting her shoulder
"The dancer I don't respect is Mina Myoung from Deep N Dap," Y/N immediately stated, not wasting any time to think about the decision.
A collective "Ooh" could be heard as Mina slowly rose to her feet. She wouldn't admit it but she was anxious about this battle, already knowing she will loose
As Mina stood in front of Y/N, she brought the microphone to her lips. "You talk too much, Mina," she stated confidently, turning over the mic to Tatter. Bada cheered loudly in support of her girlfriend. Even those from other teams, who had developed a growing dislike towards the Deep N Dap leader, joined in the celebration.
"Truth hurts Y/N," Mina's voice cracked, a subtle but clear sign of her anger. "This battle will prove what I said," she continued, her words filled with determination and confidence.
Y/N chuckled as she witnessed Mina's annoyance. She then offered a mocking curtsy in anticipation of the upcoming battle.
"Y/N of BEBE will attack first, then Mina of Deep N Dap. Are you guys ready?" Kang Daniel announced, building suspense for the upcoming battle.
While waiting for her song to begin, Y/N began a small warmup, stretching and testing her body's agility, Bada playfully smacked her ass, which earned her a playful glare from Y/N.
As the song "Money" by Cardi B began to play, Y/N took her position, her smirk becoming even more prominent. With that, she began moving, making gestures that were reminiscent of handling money. Mina noticed this and scoffed in disbelief, knowing that Y/N had chosen this song because of what she said about her buying her career.
She was mocking her and everyone seemed to pick up because they started laughing and cheering which only pushed Mina to the edge
Y/N approached with a confident step, and as she came closer, she bit the end of the jersey and lifted it, exposing her stomach. She then gave Mina a disgusted look and went back to her spot
"FUCK YEAH!" Bada screeched, throwing the banner into the air with enthusiasm and excitement, unable to sit still for a single second as she watched Y/N's performance, her attitude and her movements driving her crazy. Every moment of her dance was filled with passion, energy and style, completely owning the stage and commanding everyone's attention. Her girlfriend, Bada, was just one of many witnesses who were blown away by her performance.
The song ended, and Y/N, after blowing a kiss at Mina, turned away, clearly satisfied with her dance.
"SWITCH!" Daniel said and the song changed Mina got into her position, ready to give it her all in hopes of matching the incredible performance that Y/N had just put on.
Mina began to dance, crawling and rolling along the floor, and Y/N was not surprised. This seemed to be the only move that Mina knew how to do. As Y/N turned to her friends, she couldn't help but laugh, but when she saw that they were not laughing, but instead looking panicked, she grew confused.
"MOVE," they all shouted, but it was too late. Mina's feet hit Y/N straight in the nose, making her yelp in surprise and pain. She stumbled back, clutching her nose as she tried to control the flood of emotions coursing through her.
Mina got up immediately and made her way over to Y/N. She didn't mean to hurt her, that hadn't been her intention. She was only trying to do a move with a handstand that she'd managed to execute a few weeks ago, but something went wrong and it didn't go as she'd planned. Her concern for Y/N outweighed all other fears, "Are you alright?" She was genuinely concerned, having never wanted to cause the girl any harm, especially while they were both competing. "Im so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you Im really-"
Mina didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as Bada and the other members pushed her away. Bada almost lost her shit when she spotted the blood pouring from Y/N's nose. She grabbed her head and moved her hand, wincing at the sight of the girl's bloody nose.
"It hurts," Y/N said through clenched teeth, a few tears escaping despite her best efforts, the pain was becoming too much for her to control. Her competitors gathered around, a look of concern on their faces as they watched her struggle.
"Is she alright?"
"What happened?"
"That kick was nasty, her nose is probably broken"
Even the judges stood up, trying to see if she was alright.
"Paramedics are on the way Bada you go with her," Kang Daniel told the tall girl and she nodded, her hands still shaking. She grabbed Y/N's arms, but the girl refused to move.
"No, I need to see who won," Y/N said with determination, and Bada looked at her dumbfounded.
The judges were left shocked and speechless, yet they decided to continue with the show.
"So we're just gonna ignore what happened at the end and focus on the rest?" Monika stated, and the other two nodded in agreement. Y/N stared at the judges, feeling anxious yet hopeful for the win. When she saw the blue cards raised, she immediately threw herself into Bada's arms, holding her tightly in a hug.
Mina clapped, her eyes clouded with tears. She turned to Y/N and gave a deep bow. "You deserved that, and I'm really sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."
Y/N offered Mina a small smile and said, "Good work." She knew that Mina hadn't intended to kick her, but that wouldn't change the fact that she had said unpleasant things about her earlier and she wasn't going to forgive her
Bada still glared at the leader, grabbing Y/N's hands and moving backstage where the paramedics were already in place. The two of them sat down on chairs, as the paramedics worked on checking Y/N's nose. Bada was still holding Y/N's hand tightly
"You're gonna break my hand," Y/N managed to say, cracking a smile
"Shut up, you don't know how worried I am," Bada muttered.
"At least I won," Y/N teased the older girl, drawing a groan from her.
"Y/N, it's not the time to joke, you're hurt," Bada chided her girlfriend, now in a more caring tone.
"Good news," the paramedic told them. "It's not broken, but I'll be placing some cottons just in case she bleeds again, which is normal after a hard kick."
"Thank you," Y/N and Bada thanked the paramedic as he exited the room. As Y/N leaned on Bada's shoulder, she cursed when she accidentally hit her nose.
"Yah, do you want to bleed again?" Bada scolded her.
"Sorry," Y/N laughed. "I was too excited to hug you." She placed her hands on her waist, still smiling despite the pain.
"Idiot," Bada chuckled, placing a kiss on top of her head. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Y/N spoke breaking the silence
"Baby?"
"Yeah?" Bada looked at her girlfriend who was already looking at her
"Would you still love me if I was a member of Deep n' DAP?" Y/N smirked as Bada's smile faltered. Y/N knew that Bada absolutely hated the rival team, and she was having fun teasing her because of it.
Bada let out a frustrated sigh as she heard her lover's words "No"
"Hey," Y/N smacked Bada's shoulder lightly, causing her to laugh in response.
"I was kidding, of course I would," Bada said with a hint of playfulness. "I'd make you change teams."
"Hm, that wouldn't be hard, you're very convincing," Y/N agreed
Bada pecked Y/N's lips, being careful to not hit her nose. "You did really good today," she told her, "I'm proud of you. I love you."
"I love you more," Y/N replied, blushing, and she leaned her head on Bada's shoulder. She felt safe and comforted with Bada, she was one of the only people who could bring out this side of her, and Y/n loved it.
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harunayuuka2060 · 8 months
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*Malleus noticed that MC had been smiling more in the past few weeks, but they only displayed that bright smile when they were with Silver or if the topic was about him.*
Malleus: *listening in on MC and Silver's conversation; standing right outside their room*
Silver: I've brought some food prepared by Jamil Viper. He serves as the vice-housewarden of Scarabia, and he's truly a talented cook.
MC: That's quite a generous portion. Wouldn't it be nice to share this with everyone else?
Silver: I see. Unfortunately, Lilia intends to add something to the food according to his palate.
MC: *chuckles* Are you saying Lilia has a weird taste when it comes to food?
Silver: *smiles* Something like that.
Malleus: ...
Malleus: *walks away*
Silver: By the way, there's an upcoming event in our school.
MC: Malleus told me.
Silver: I understand it's hard for you to leave Diasomnia. Nonetheless, I'll make sure to remind Malleus to attend the event, so you both can enjoy it together.
MC: Thank you, Silver. I'll be looking forward to it.
Malleus: How are you, my love?
MC: Malleus— *noticed that he's carrying a box*
MC: What is it you're holding?
Malleus: Ah. This is a magical device. It has the ability to display events occurring beyond these walls.
Malleus: It would certainly make things easier for you, as there would be no need to step out of this room.
MC: ...
MC: But Malleus—
Malleus: I'm concerned about your well-being.
MC: ...
MC: There's an event that I would like to attend with you.
MC: I do understand that this method is more convenient.
MC: Nevertheless, I'd really cherish the chance to share this experience alongside you.
Malleus: ...
Malleus: Do you genuinely want to accompany me, and not someone else?
MC: *looks slightly confused* *but then nodded*
Malleus: ...
Malleus: *smiles* *sets the box down and sits next to them*
Malleus: ...
Malleus: I'll do everything for you.
MC: ...
MC: *lays their hand upon his* Please don't do it excessively.
Malleus: ...
Malleus: *locks the door with his magic*
MC: Huh—
Malleus: I want to hold you in my arms. With no interruptions.
MC: I understand.
Malleus: *snuggles against them*
MC: ...
MC: *starts to gently rub his back*
Malleus: *smiles in satisfaction*
Crowley: We are anticipating the arrival of guests traveling from somewhere far. Mr. Riddle, would you mind explaining further?
Riddle: I don't mind, headmage.
Riddle: These guests have requested this event for a single purpose and that is to commemorate someone from their lineage.
Idia: A commemoration?
Crowley: Yes. They provided me with a glimpse of their narrative. In times past, there existed an individual within their lineage who possessed the ability to journey through dreams, effectively possessing immortality. However, one fateful day, the body that had been safeguarded vanished without a trace.
Riddle: The attendees will primarily oversee the event, requiring only minimal assistance from our end.
Riddle: Our primary responsibility revolves around ensuring the seamless execution of the event.
Leona: *yawns* As long as we don't need to work, I guess I'm fine with that.
Vil: You never fail to show your laziness, Leona.
Azul: It's a chance for me to expand my business.
Kalim: I am excited for this event!
Crowley: Vanrouge? Will Draconia be attending? He's been busy since he got married.
Lilia: Of course. He has his spouse's approval. *chuckles*
Malleus: *smiles while caressing their cheek and gazing at their sleeping face*
Malleus: *speaks softly as to not awaken them*
Malleus: I never imagined that we would one day arrive at this beautiful moment together.
Malleus: *kissing their forehead* *wrapping them in his arms*
Malleus: My love...
Malleus: Now I will never have doubts that you are mine.
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utilitycaster · 1 year
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So you're playing a D&D class
(had these thoughts while thinking about CR character builds, but relevant to D&D in general).
Here's just a brief list of three questions per class that are intended to be helpful if you're playing that class and are working on fleshing out that aspect of your character. Note that I'm only covering officially published classes for 5e. If you're a blood hunter I am just going to assume you know what you're about, and if you're a mystic then you are beyond help or hope. Also, obviously, there's way more to a character than their class! But understanding why the character is that class is pretty crucial to overall character build.
Artificer:
Did the magic come first or did the tinkering come first?
Did you apprentice or were you self-taught?
What do you dream of creating - or if you don't, what outside goal drives your creations?
Barbarian:
Is rage a cultural or family trait, or is this unique to you?
What do you feel like when you rage?
What do you feel your purpose is, outside of combat? Do you have one or are you not sure? (note - feel free to ask this about other martially focused classes, but barbarians skew especially hard towards combat skills above all others)
Bard:
What led you to be able to tap into the echoes of creation (not guaranteed for all artists!)
What is your medium, and how did you come to it/learn it?
You have a ton of skills - how did you acquire them?
Cleric:
What is your relationship with the deity/entity/concept that grants you your powers?
Since many sources have multiple domains, why this domain specifically?
What does your worship look like?
Druid:
Is your relationship to nature cultural, or personal?
What drew you to your circle?
How do you feel about wildshape? Is it a tool available to you, or an enjoyable experience?
Fighter:
Who trained you or how did you pick up your skills?
What led you to focus on fighting? Is there something you wished to attack or to protect?
Fighter is REALLY modular/subclass dependent, so dig into your subclass; if you're a champion, the 'what is your purpose outside combat' from Barbarian may apply, but if you're say, an eldritch knight or rune knight, you may have had two teachers and should dig into that.
Monk:
Who trained you?
What does Ki feel like for you?
Not a question, but: with the caveat that I know very little about martial arts, I do think that having a concept of the martial art style your monk uses is a huge help in bringing the character to life.
Paladin:
What drew you to this oath?
What continues to motivate you?
You're in a very versatile role; which part speaks to you the most- do you see yourself more as a protector? a healer? is the versatility itself what matters?
Ranger:
How did you learn your nature skills?
What is your relationship to your magic?
Why are your favored terrain and enemy what they are?
Rogue:
How did you learn to pick locks?
Did your thievery/stealth come as a necessity for survival, or was it a choice?
As with bard - what specifically led you to develop the skills you have?
Sorcerer:
When did your powers first manifest? If it was not when you were very young, what were you doing beforehand?
Are you interested in where your powers came from? How far would you go to learn about them? Or do you already know?
What would you do if your powers disappeared?
Warlock:
What led you to make the pact - even if it was accidental or a trick?
How do you feel about your patron generally?
Because warlock is truly very modular - that is, extremely reliant on the boon and evocations for flavor, analyze the choice of evocations and boon. If you picked agonizing blast, why specifically did your warlock want to make eldritch blast stronger? What drew your character to the blade vs. chain vs. tome?
Wizard:
What role do wizards play in your society?
How were you trained?
What do you most desire to learn or achieve?
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sourbinnie · 10 months
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☆ beso.mp3 ☆
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> fluff ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> voicemails they leave you when they miss you on tour. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> cursing ; no use of (y/n) ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> nope
a/n: short one but sweet one, hope yall like it:) haven't written "voicemails" in a while!
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yo quiero que me de' otro beso
"baby, baby i miss you so fucking much. i might be a little drunk and a little needy as a treat but i can't help but think of you and i need you here. it's been too fucking long since i've last seen you even if we speak to each other every day, i can't get enough of you. i need to hold you and kiss you, feel you against me whatever way you want it to be of course. i don't know why i suddenly got the need to just be buried in your arms and for you to hold me tight, hope i can see you soon and tell you that i love you because i can't take it anymore. goodnight darling..." 
- voicemail from hyunjin.
uno de esos que tú me da'
"i need your kiss. i know it's abrupt to start a voice message like this but i've been wanting to kiss you ever since i left and i gave you the last one at the airport. i hope i get all of the kisses i deserve when i come back and that you're taking care of our children. i hope you know that i miss you so much and that even if i don't show it at times, i've been so clingy for your affection. i can't wait to cuddle you again, to hug you and not let you. like i said before, save all those kisses for me because i'm coming for them all when i get back and you will not get rid of me."
- voicemail from minho.
estar lejos de ti e' el infierno
"i'm not used to being this far away from you. maybe i'm not the most affectionate person or the one that says the most romantic things but i feel the need to show you that i still love you. i want you forever and ever, no turning back now because i knew when i found you that i would want what you make me feel for the rest of my life. right now it's hell being away and not having your embrace, your eyes looking at me or your sweet kiss on my cheek. i want to hear you say that you're proud of me after every show. i just need to hear you again or i'll go insane."
- voicemail from seungmin.
'tar cerca de ti es mi paz
"it's been stressful and i feel it even more now that we're far. i remember when i had to go to australia and i wanted to take you so bad, it's the same today. i want you here and for you to experience what i live for, what i'm passionate about and what i need. but i also need you, need your love and affection because it's the one thing that keeps me calm. when i'm burying myself in work and drowning, you're there to take my hand and i think i haven't been appreciative enough of it. so thank you, i love you to the moon and back baby."
- voicemail from chan.
y es que amo siempre que llegas
"how long till we see each other again? i want you. i wanna be with you right now yet we're so far, i don't wanna forget you so i keep reminding myself of your habits. your smile follows me everywhere i go and it shines so bright, your eyes are the only ones i look for in the crowd. i wish you could come by one day, i wanna see you there supporting me and having the time of your life with your friends. you would look so cute in our merch and with our lightstick that i'm almost getting you tickets to the next show. we'll see what i can do baby."
- voicemail from felix.
y odio cuando te vas
"i had a dream, well it was more like me remembering how we said goodbye. i fucking hated it and i don't wanna live that ever again, next time you're coming with me to every part of the world that i'll take you. i want you right beside me, i want to see you and just be captivated by your beauty because that happens every time i take a look at you. you can call me cheesy all you want but i'm so in love with you and i know we haven't talked about it but i need to buy a ring soon. spoiling the surprise? yeah but i don't care, i hope you say yes though."
- voicemail from changbin.
yo me voy contigo a matar
"i might be too young for love like a lot of people say. i might be a little too naive or too persistent but when i approached you for the first time, i knew i would do anything for you. even right now when we're in a relationship, i feel the need to please you, to love you, to show you that you're worth it because you are so much more than what you show. i didn't see a future where i would be loved but right now i can see us everywhere and i think that's the thing i miss about you the most. i'll do anything to have you here so i'll try my best to get you something, alright?"
- voicemail from jeongin.
no me dejes solo, ¿pa' dónde vas, pa' dónde vas?
"i haven't been alone in such a long time. i'm used to having your presence by my side 24/7 and now it's weird not seeing you beside me. i know i have everyone from the boys to the crew but i miss my sunshine, you know? i miss the one that keeps me going. yeah i never told you that but you're the reason i wake up every day as happy as i am. even right now the bed feels so cold without you and it's not the same as the one at home, if only i could close the distance. i think i would hug you, kiss you and love you like i haven't done before..."
- voicemail from jisung.
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thot-of-khonshu · 4 months
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All Access, Chapter 1
All Access Masterlist | Ko-Fi | A03 Link
Pairing: 70s rockstar! frankie morales x f! reader
Rating: 18+ (explicit, minors do not interact)
Word Count: 6.4K
Summary: It's 1975 and you're one of the rare women given the opportunity to write for Rolling Stone. When you get the opportunity of a lifetime to travel with the hottest band in the US, Triple Frontier, you're welcomed into their den of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. But what happens when you fall for their bass player and it becomes more than just a story?
Content: explicit drug use, heavy partying, triple frontier as rockstars, eventual smut, 1975 au
A/N: Thank you so so so much to my beta readers @heythere-mel, @proxima-writes, @nostalxgic, and @pedropascal-whore I am so insanely, eternally grateful you have no idea! Thank you to anyone who has been waiting for this story since it was just a random idea in 2022. I hope you all enjoy it and it makes you sing as loudly as Santiago.
TRIPLE FRONTIER: FROM BATTLEFIELDS TO CENTER STAGE
As the dust of the Vietnam War settles, a new sound emerges from its ashes. Four war veterans—Santiago, Benny, Will, and Frankie—unite under a new banner, Triple Frontier, capturing the soul of a generation seeking peace, love, and rock 'n' roll.
Triple Frontier's latest self-titled album strikes a chord with raw passion and unflinching honesty of their previous work. We can trace their meteoric rise in the music world back to their time serving together in the Vietnam War, an experience that has left an indelible mark on each member and seeps into every note they play.
At the forefront is Santiago Garcia, the charismatic lead singer with vocals matched only by his charm and stage presence; Behind Santiago, Benny Miller lets loose on the drums, laying down the heartbeat of their sound. Will, Benny's older brother on lead guitar, is the soul of the band. He's intuitive and artistic with the guitar akin to Robbie Robertson.
And then there's Francisco Morales on bass. The stoic backbone of the group, his basslines are more than just musical notes—they're lifelines. His bass weaves the music together like a thread that ties each member of the band.
Tom Davis, their manager, has been instrumental in their rise. A fellow vet, he understands their shared history and has transformed their raw, visceral tales into a finely-tuned musical odyssey. Speaking about their journey, Tom says, "These boys have stories that the world needs to hear. I'm just helping amplify their voices."
The band's name, Triple Frontier, references the tri-border area in Southeast Asia—a location many veterans from the Vietnam War will recognize.
Despite the weight of their past, or perhaps because of it, Triple Frontier brings a refreshing authenticity to the rock scene. Their music isn't just entertainment; it's a balm, a therapy, a reminder of the indomitable human spirit.
As they gear up for their nationwide tour, one thing's for certain: Triple Frontier is here to stay, and they're just getting started.
Despite your boss stating he just needed a simple puff piece about Triple Frontier, whenever you reread that review you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride when you saw your name in print in Rolling Stone. It wasn't the first time, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.
You were on the fast track to doing something big at Rolling Stone by the time you were thirty, you could just feel it. After freelance writing post graduation from college, you landed an entry-level job at the magazine. You knew what you were getting into, the long hours and the male-dominated office could be a lot at times, but you were living the dream as far as you were concerned. To write about music and make it your living was a gift you never wanted to take for granted.
It was a Tuesday afternoon and you were done at work surprisingly early. You lugged your 1969 Dodge home and immediately went to the back patio to light a joint. You slunk back in your chair, inhaling deeply from the joint, and watched the sun dip lower behind the tree line; the warm glow of the Los Angeles sunset never got old. As the smoke filled your lungs, you felt the day slowly dissipate.
The sound of your phone ringing jolted you out of your high-induced stupor but you heard your roommate Jenna flit across the house and yell "I'll get it!" before answering. You took another deep pull off the joint and exhaled, watching the smoke dance around the sky as it faded out.
You heard Jenna call your name from inside. You walked into the kitchen and saw her standing with the phone receiver in her hand, she was looking at you with an expectant expression.
"Who is it?" You asked.
"Some guy named Tom Davis? Sounds foxy." She grinned at you and wiggled her eyebrows. You rolled your eyes and swatted her away before taking the phone from her.
"Hello?"
"Hey! I hope you don't mind me calling you at home. Your work number was listed in the phone book, but I didn't know if you'd want to take this call in the office or not. Figured home was probably better."
You had talked to Tom a month back for the Triple Frontier article. You remembered him as a no-nonsense type of guy who didn't beat around the bush, so you knew even though he was calling you at home it wasn't for a dinner party.
"No, that's okay. What can I do for you? I hope the article came out okay?"
"That's actually why I'm calling, I wanted to thank you again for doing such a great job. The guys really loved it and the boss did too. And we've had some new interest in the band and they think an interview series might be a good way to build some buzz during the tour."
You felt excitement bubble up in your stomach. You didn't want to be presumptuous and assume this was an offer, but you also didn't want to say no.
"I'd love to write more about them! I'm not sure if you just want a song by song review or..."
Tom chuckled on the other end.
"Nah, nothing like that. I know this is actually last minute but we're playing a show at the Troubadour on Friday night and we'd love for you to come. I've already cleared it with your editor at Rolling Stone if you're game."
You tried not to sound too eager. Of course you knew about the Troubadour show, it had been sold out for months. You knew this wasn't an easy ticket to score or an opportunity that just falls into your lap like this.
"I would be an idiot to say no."
"That's what I like to hear! I'll be in touch with more details, but I'll have your ticket and backstage pass ready for you on Friday night."
"Awesome, thank you so much."
"Thank you, we'll talk soon!"
He hung up the phone. You stood in the kitchen with the receiver in your hand. You felt like someone had just punched you in the gut, you couldn't believe it. The Troubadour, backstage passes, exclusive interviews... it was the break you'd been waiting for.
This was real rock journalism, the rock journalism your mom cried over when you said you wanted to move out west and pursue this as a career.
Will Mom still think you're dabbling with the devil if your name is under the biggest story for Rolling Stone with the hottest band in the country?
-------------------------
By the time Friday night rolled around, you felt like you had a permanent case of butterflies in your stomach. It wasn't often you had the opportunity to attend a show and not write about it, so the fact that you had no other reason for going besides seeing the band was enough to set your nerves on fire. But meeting them?
You'd spent the whole week building scenarios in your head - Would these guys even take you seriously? Would they see you as just another fan? Were they even that interesting to interview, or were their music and looks all there was to them?
You shook the thoughts from your head as you walked up to the Troubadour. The line outside was already around the block and you could feel the energy from the crowd. You saw women with long hair down their backs in tight jeans and crochet tops, some men with hair even longer than theirs and dressed in flared pants and vibrant shirts. You could already smell the weed wafting off some people.
As you approached the bouncer at the back door, he glared at you, intimidating and unwavering.
"I'm here to pick up a press pass from Tom Davis." You tried to exude confidence, even though you felt the opposite. He arched his brow at you before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a paper.
"Name."
You gave him your name and also added what you thought would cement your legitimacy. "I'm with Rolling Stone."
He looked over the paper before his eyes settled on your face.
"Right. This way."
The man turned and opened the door behind him, beckoning for you to follow.
Once inside, he led you through the dimly lit back corridors of the club. You were immediately welcomed into a heavy musk of smoke and sweat. You passed other roadies carrying guitars, amps, and microphones. You felt the excitement rising up again and you had to remind yourself to act cool.
He led you into a dressing room with a large group of people. Everyone had drinks in their hands and seemed to be chatting amongst themselves. The walls were covered in posters and various band members from over the years had scrawled their names on the walls where Tom was seated, reading over a sheet of paper.
"There she is! Good to see you." Tom immediately spotted you from the crowd, his tall and imposing figure stood up and made his way over to you. He was wearing a black leather jacket and his hair was pushed back with gel. He looked every bit the rocker, and you couldn't help but wonder if he always dressed like that. With the band but not in the band.
He reached into his back pocket to pull out a laminated press pass. "Here you go, this should get you access to whatever you need."
You took the press pass and held it up, smiling. You were still in shock.
"I can't thank you enough, Tom. This really is an honor."
Tom chuckled and clapped a hand on your shoulder. "Honor's ours. We're looking forward to the piece."
"Speaking of pieces, If you're gonna write about the band you might as well meet them. Come with me."
He started making his way toward the back of the room. As he passed, the people parted to let him through. You followed closely behind, trying to not lose him.
He led you towards a cluster of men in the corner. They were talking amongst themselves, beers in hand and laughing. You recognized Benny–the drummer–from the album cover, by his shaggy, dirty blonde hair. He was bouncing off the soles of his feet, drumsticks tucked in his belt loop, and was the center of the circle.
Will was leaning against the wall, his long blonde hair tucked in a bun. He had a cigarette dangling between his lips and a guitar pick in his hand, fiddling with it.
Next to Will, Santiago was sitting on a couch, his arm draped over the back with a glass tumbler in his other hand. His eyes shined as he was talking to the other boys, taking his hand to smooth out his jet-black hair.
It was true what every girl said - his pants were as tight as his voice.
And then there was Frankie.
He was standing next to Santiago, a beer bottle hanging loosely from his fingertips. He was leaning on his elbow on the wall behind Santiago, listening to Benny.
He was handsome. His brown hair was covered in his signature baseball cap, and the stubble along his jaw along with his mustache gave him a rugged look. You couldn't help but notice the muscles underneath his thin shirt. You could see his arms flexing underneath the material, his fingers wrapped tightly around the neck of his beer.
He was the first one to notice you, looking at you before he did Tom. His eyes were dark and unreadable, but you could tell he was assessing the situation.
"Boys," Tom boomed, "I want you to meet the writer from Rolling Stone."
Santiago and Will turned their heads in unison, but Frankie's eyes stayed fixed on you.
Santiago's smile broadened, and Will raised his eyebrow and nodded. Frankie's expression didn't change.
"Well, hey, welcome to the party." Santiago stood up and extended his hand. You reached out and took his, shaking it. His hand was soft and his grip was firm.
"Nice to meet you." You tried to sound confident.
"You've already met Tom, obviously," he gestured towards Tom, who smiled at you, "and this is Will and Benny, and that's Frankie."
Benny smiled at you, and Frankie's eyes flickered over to Santiago as he said his name, but he didn't speak. You had a feeling this was his way of letting everyone else talk.
"Nice to meet you all, I'm a huge fan." You offered them a friendly smile.
Benny spoke up, "Well then, I like you already. You'll make us look good!"
Tom looked down at his watch and then snapped up at the guys. "Shit–we have ten minutes before showtime, you guys need to get down to the stage."
They started moving and shuffling: Will stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray, Benny put down his beer, and Santiago tossed back his drink. Frankie had disappeared into the crowd, leaving you to watch them all go by.
Tom turned back to you, "What are you doing? You're going down with us. ‘Can't write about the show if you aren't there."
You felt the rush of adrenaline surge through your body. Your face broke out into a huge grin.
"Yeah, right. Okay."
Tom smiled and turned, heading for the door. You followed him, trying to keep up with his strides. Backstage was a flurry of activity and you felt like you were on a hamster wheel trying to stay out of the way. You couldn't help but stare at the scene before you, the lights and the sounds, the smell.
After navigating through the throng of people and equipment, you found yourself on the side of the stage, the lights dim and the sound of the audience humming through the floorboards. While Tom had stopped to talk with one of the lighting guys, you could see the boys getting into their instruments and tuning up.
You looked over and saw Frankie. He had taken off his hat and was carding his hand through his thick hair. His mouth was turned down into a frown, but you could see the glimmer of his eyes.
He looked up at you. Your breath hitched and you could feel your cheeks start to burn. He held your gaze for a moment before turning away and putting his hat back on.
Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the audience erupted in cheers. The guys, including Tom, went into a huddle and you slowly inched yourself closer, not wanting to miss this moment.
You heard Benny shout, "Let's get it done tonight, boys! Let's give the fans what they came for."
You could see Santiago's grin spread across his face, "This is our mission. Our job. Our purpose."
Tom placed his hand into the middle, "I'm proud of you, boys. Now, let's go fucking rock this shit."
They put their hands together and Santiago began to sing "Stop, hey, what's that sound..."
Like a ritual, the rest of the men in the circle sang "Everybody look what's going down."
With that, the boys dispersed and you felt so lucky to be in that moment. You feel their connection, their comradery, their love.
You saw Tom pat Benny on the back. "Showtime!" he boomed. Benny ran onto the stage and the crowd roared. You could hear the clatter of sticks in the air as Benny hit the cymbal to start playing their song "Echoes".
The rest of the guys filed onto the stage and you were immediately struck by the sheer energy radiating off the crowd. They were cheering, clapping, dancing. There was so much movement and excitement and you felt the hairs on your arms stand up.
The band started their set with a bang. You watched as Santiago worked the crowd, his voice smooth and strong. He walked slowly, confidently, swaying with every step. The crowd was eating out of the palm of his hand.
You'd never experienced a concert like this, being able to watch from the sidelines and take in everything. The lights, the sound, the way the crowd responded.
Your eyes drifted to Frankie. He was focused and precise with his guitar, his hands moving effortlessly across the strings. You watched the muscles in his arms flex and strain as he played along with the concentration in his eyes.
The rest of the concert flew by. Before you knew it, the band was finishing up their final song, and the crowd was going crazy. You watched as Santiago, Frankie, Benny, and Will took their final bows.
The audience screamed. Santiago leaned over and spoke into the microphone, "Los Angeles, thank you. We love you! Goodnight!"
And with that, the lights dimmed and the guys filed off stage. Tom turned and motioned for you to follow as he led you to a different area where the guys were drinking bottles of water and catching their breath.
Benny was sweating, his face flushed red. "Man, we really fucking killed it."
Santiago grinned, wiping his brow. "You bet your ass we did. That was one of the best shows we've done."
Frankie was leaning against the wall, a bottle of water in his hand. He was drinking it slowly, his eyes looking up and meeting yours.
Will looked over at you and gave you a wink. "Did you enjoy the show?"
"Oh my god, yes. That was incredible." You were trying to be professional, but your excitement was starting to show through, an excitement that Santiago could start to see through.
Santiago clapped his hands together. "Excellent. Now that we've broken your legs, I think it's time for the afterparty. Are you coming with us?"
"The afterparty?"
"Of course," Tom chimed in, "you don't have to go, but it might give you some time to chat with the guys more and get some quotes. These things tend to be a good time so I can also book you a room, on us. It's at the Chateau Marmont."
"Holy shit."
"That's the spirit." Santiago winked.
You hesitated, knowing how big a decision this was. The idea of the afterparty excited you, but it was also a chance to spend more time with these guys. To talk to them one-on-one and maybe get some insights that would really sell the article.
You took a deep breath and looked around the room, at the guys waiting expectantly.
"Alright, count me in."
You could have sworn you saw Frankie's lip twitch up into a smile.
-------------------------
The afterparty was at a bungalow at the Chateau Marmont and it was a mess of people, noise, and debauchery. You tried to take it all in but you just couldn't. There was too much happening at once.
You found a bar top to sit at, watching the scene unfold. Santiago was at the piano playing some old jazz tunes and laughing with gorgeous women surrounding him. Tom was chatting up some record exec, a scotch in his hand. You even saw Benny and Will having an impromptu arm wrestling match in the corner. Frankie so far wasn't anywhere to be found.
The music, the lights, the alcohol. All of it was almost overwhelming and you were starting to wonder why you decided to come.
This world of excess and debauchery was so foreign to you, a far cry from the quiet solitude of your apartment where you usually did your writing. You've been to parties but nothing like this. You thought about your male coworkers at Rolling Stone, who seemed to fit seamlessly into the rock and roll lifestyle, effortlessly bonding with their subjects over shared experiences and unspoken understandings.
You focused on scribbling notes in your notebook, trying to make sense of the chaos around you and organize your thoughts about the concert. The more you wrote, the more your head cleared, and you found yourself able to better compartmentalize everything you'd experienced.
As you were finishing up your notes, you felt a tap on your shoulder.
"Hey."
You turned and saw Santiago standing behind you. He had a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand and his eyes were slightly bloodshot.
"Hey." You replied.
He moved to stand beside you, looking at the party in front of you.
"What are you doing over here by yourself? Having fun?" He asked, taking a swig of the whiskey.
You shrugged, "I guess I just wanted to take everything in, get a feel of the scene. "
"Through your notepad?" He asked, gesturing towards your notes.
"Yeah, uh, it's easier for me to write things down."
"Ah," he took another swig, "can I ask you a question?"
You looked up at him. He was staring down at you, a smirk on his face.
"Sure."
"Why do you wanna write a story about us?"
It wasn't the question you were expecting. You had prepared for a list of generic questions like how you got into writing and your favorite bands, but this one caught you off guard.
"Because..." You hesitated, not sure how to answer, "...because I think you guys are cool."
Santiago smirked, leaning in.
"Cool? That's it?"
"Yeah," you said, feeling slightly defensive. "I think you guys have something special."
He chuckled to himself, taking a joint from a walking passerby, and taking a hit. "That's what they all say."
"All who?"
"People, the press. They all want to write a story about the cool, rebellious, rock and roll band, but the thing is, no one ever actually gets it."
"Maybe because the people who write about you are only interested in the glamorous lifestyle and not the reality of it."
He cocked his eyebrow.
"The reality?"
"Yeah," you said, closing your notebook. "I don't want to write a story about what I see here. This is a party, a show. It's not what's real."
Santiago studied you for a moment, and you felt the tension in the air between you. It was as if he was trying to read you, to figure out what made you tick.
"I'm here to witness the magic, the brotherhood. You can feel the bond between you guys: it's real, it's tangible, it's magnetic. People come to see your shows to see it. Shit, people come to the Chateau Marmont at 1 AM to see it. People want more."
You met his gaze, unwavering. You weren't going to back down.
He laughed, taking a step back. "Okay, okay. I believe you."
You smiled, relieved.
"But I'm gonna let you in on a little secret…Tom? He's over the moon, hunky fuckin' dory that you're writing this piece, but the truth is? We're a little skeptical, a little worried. We wanna look good but we also don't want this to be a puff piece. You've convinced me though, I believe you when you say you wanna do something different. So here's the deal - if you want the real story, the one that matters, you need to prove it."
You swallowed.
"And how do I do that?"
He smirked, gesturing to the crowd. "Come hang with us, chill out, see how we are when it's just us. If you can do that, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know. If you wanna get to know the real us, you gotta dive in."
Santiago offered you the joint, and you took it from him, putting it to your lips and inhaling.
He grinned. "Welcome to the team."
You hesitated for a moment. You wanted to get the real story, the one that mattered, but you were afraid. What if you didn't fit in? What if the guys didn't like you?
But Santiago had a point. You needed to prove yourself, and what better way than by actually hanging out with the band?
So you sucked it up, took a long drag off the joint, and threw caution to the wind.
----------------------------------
You weren't sure how much time had passed, but the party was still in full swing. The doubts and fears that plagued you had floated away along with your sobriety. Santiago had been a great host, introducing you to people, making sure you had a drink in your hand, and keeping the conversation going. You'd lost track of how many drinks you'd had, but you were feeling good.
He'd also gotten you better acquainted with Will and Benny. Will was reserved but he was incredibly knowledgeable about music, and you spent most of your conversation talking about some of the more obscure bands you both liked in common. With Benny, he was the life of the party. He had an infectious smile and was quick to laugh.
Frankie was another story entirely.
Frankie had eventually been found at the party but he'd stayed off to the side, talking quietly with a group of people, occasionally smoking a cigarette or sipping from a glass. You watched him throughout the night.
He'd glance at you from time to time, his eyes dark and unreadable. His gaze would linger, sending shivers down your spine. You would try to catch his eye, but he'd look away before you could make contact.
A model that you recognized from a cover of Cosmopolitan pulled out a baggie of coke and offered some to everyone at the table. You politely declined and headed for the bathroom.
You walked around the hallway and saw a few sets of doors. You opened a door to see Tom sitting on the bed, the phone cord stretched across the room.
"Of course I'm thinking about this damn offer, it's all I can think about. Fuck, I just don't know if this is the right move. If I had another band under my roster the boys would kill me, but the money they're offering? It's the kind of money we can't turn down."
You tried to back out of the room quietly, but sobriety be damned, the heel of your shoe clicked loudly on the hardwood floor as you tripped. Tom turned, his eyebrows raised and his expression a mixture of surprise and concern.
You mouthed an apology and quickly made your way out of the room. Humiliation and embarrassment flooding through you, you decided you needed some air.
You made your way outside, the cool air hitting your face. You inhaled deeply, trying to clear your mind and slow your racing heart. You only had a bit of context but you knew that wasn't a conversation you were supposed to hear.
You sat down on the ground, resting your head against the wall. You could feel your body relax, the tension easing from your shoulders.
As you closed your eyes, the events of the evening replayed in your head. The music, the energy, the excitement.
Suddenly, you felt someone sit next to you. You looked over and saw Frankie, his expression still unreadable.
"Hey."
"Hi." You tried to sound casual, hoping the high pitch in your voice didn't sell you out.
He lit a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly. The smoke curled in the air, dancing in the breeze.
You sat in silence for a moment, watching the smoke drift away, trying to distract yourself from the man in front of you.
"Having fun?" Frankie's voice was low and husky, his question caught you off guard. "What do you think of all of this so far?"
"It's definitely not what I'm used to."
He chuckled, and you couldn't help but smile. He took another cigarette from the carton, offering one to you.
You took the cigarette from him and he lit it, the flame flickering in the darkness. You felt the smoke fill your lungs.
"What are you used to then?" He asked, his eyes locked on yours.
"Lighting a joint at the end of a long day, writing a draft for an article, and throwing it in the trash. Sitting at home alone and wondering if I'm ever gonna break out."
Frankie smiled. "We're not what you expected, huh?"
You laughed, shaking your head. "Not at all."
You took another drag of the cigarette. The combination of weed, whiskey, and nicotine was making your head spin, and you couldn't stop the giggle that escaped your lips.
Frankie smirked.
"Lightweight."
You nodded, leaning your head against the wall. You looked over at Frankie, his profile illuminated by the moonlight. He was handsome, his jawline sharp and his lips full. His hair was tousled under his hat and his stubble was perfectly trimmed. You could see the muscles in his arms flex as he brought the cigarette to his mouth, and you felt your breath hitch.
You looked away, feeling a blush creep up your neck. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol, the drugs, or his presence that was making you feel so flustered.
"What are you doing out here anyways?" You asked, trying to distract yourself from the butterflies in your stomach.
Frankie shrugged, the corners of his mouth twitching. "I could ask you the same question."
You laughed, the alcohol and weed finally settling in.
"I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, I needed some fresh air."
Frankie nodded, understanding. "I'm not really one for big parties."
"Is that why you weren't around earlier?"
He gave you a curious look. "You really are quite the observant reporter."
You grinned. "I'm a professional."
He smirked, your gaze turning back to the sky. You couldn't help but feel his eyes linger on your skin, you felt like you were burning up.
"I'm just not a huge fan of the crowds. I like the music, the shows, but the parties are sometimes too much."
"I can understand that."
"Can you?"
You looked at him, surprised by his question. "Of course."
He raised his eyebrow. "How so?"
You shrugged. "I've had my share of experiences. Not quite like this, but enough that I get it. Sometimes I'd rather just sit back with a joint and observe it all."
Frankie's lips twitched into a small smile. "Me too."
You couldn't help but smile back. He seemed much less guarded now.
You took another drag of your cigarette; the smoke swirling around the two of you.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Frankie glanced at you, the corner of his mouth twitching again.
"Sure."
"What brought you into music? How'd you end up here?"
He considered your question for a moment, tapping the ashes of his cigarette.
"Well, I just always loved music. I was a quiet kid and my parents weren't around a lot. Santi moved to Miami when we were eight and we just immediately hit it off. Whatever he did, I did. If he joined the baseball team, I joined the baseball team. And then he started playing guitar. We'd sit in his garage for hours and play. I never knew I wanted to be a musician until then. It just felt right."
He paused, taking a long drag of his cigarette.
"How'd you get into journalism?"
You froze. The truth was, you had no idea. You just always felt drawn to writing. You had a knack for it and it came easily to you. You never had any grand plan or vision, it was more like a calling.
"I guess I just felt called to it. I was always writing stories as a kid and then I wanted to write about real people and real stories."
He studied you, his eyes searching yours.
"So far, do you like my story?"
You grinned, "I don't know your story yet."
He smiled, exposing a dimple as you felt your heart skip a beat.
"It's been a long time since I've actually talked to someone like this."
"Me too."
There was a moment of comfortable silence. You could hear the sounds of the city around you, the cars honking, the music and laughter drifting from inside. Suddenly, you heard the door open and Tom stepped out.
"Some chick from Apple Records just threw up on my Italian boots. This is a disaster."
Frankie rolled his eyes. "You've had worse, Tom."
Tom groaned. "I'm gonna call it a night. You guys have that radio station interview tomorrow and I need to get ready for it in the morning."
"I should probably get some sleep too." Frankie stretched out and yawned, his shirt riding up and exposing a strip of skin above the waistband of his jeans.
You felt your mouth go dry and quickly looked away.
"Did you get the room key I left for you?" Tom asked you. "We rented out the whole second floor, so you've got your pick of rooms."
"Yeah, thanks." You dug into your back pocket, pulling out the key.
"I gotta clean this shit up so I'll see you guys in the morning."
He retreated away from the cottage, leaving you and Frankie alone once more.
You stood, dusting off the back of your pants. "I guess I should get some sleep, I'm pretty wasted."
"I'm heading up myself, so I can walk you to your hotel room."
"Oh, okay." You said in a high-pitched tone.
"Unless you don't want me to."
"No! No, I want you to, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to say goodnight to the guys?"
"They're honestly too fucked up to remember anything right now. Besides, I'd rather make sure you get there safe."
You blushed, the alcohol and weed still affecting you. "Thanks."
You and Frankie made your way back into the main building, the party still raging on from the cottage nearby. While you walked through the halls and into the elevator, you marveled at the luxury of the famous chateau. You'd heard so many stories but to say you'd gone to a party there, even for a couple of hours, was something you’d never forget.
The two of you got into the elevator, and you were acutely aware of Frankie's presence. He was tall–at least a foot taller than you–and his shoulders were broad and muscular. You could smell his scent, a mixture of spice, nicotine, and citrus.
The both of you got off on the second floor, walking silently down the hallway. The hotel was dark and quiet; it was as if the rest of the world had faded away.
You reached your room, fumbling with the key and unlocking the door.
"This is me."
Frankie nodded. "Good night."
You stepped into the room and turned around, watching as he walked away.
"Good night."
You watched him disappear around the corner, the butterflies in your stomach erupting again.
Once the door had shut behind you, you exhaled a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You were still buzzing from the alcohol and the pot but there was something else, an energy that you hadn't felt before.
You stripped off your clothes, letting them pool on the floor, and crawled into the bed. As you drifted off, you felt yourself smile.
-------------------------
You were jolted awake by the shrill ring of the hotel telephone. Before you could even think, your head was already pounding from last night and its excess. You squinted at the clock next to you, the bold white words focusing on 9:30 AM.
"Hello?" Your voice was hoarse and still heavy with sleep.
"Morning! It's Tom." Tom sounded surprisingly chipper given last night's circumstances with his Italian shoes. Not one to beat around the bush, he started, "I have a proposition for you."
You were instantly alert, sitting up straight in the bed. "Oh yeah? What's that?"
"I had a long talk with Santiago this morning. About you."
You swallowed nervously. You knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be good.
"Okay.."
"He told me that you really want to tell the real story of the band, that you want to get to the bottom of who we are."
You paused, considering your words carefully.
"That's correct. I think there's more to your story, more than meets the eye."
"That's exactly what I thought, which is why I have an offer for you."
You held your breath. You didn't want to seem eager but you couldn't help the excitement building inside of you.
"I'm listening."
"Rolling Stone wants an in-depth piece, right? Well, what better way to get that than by joining us on tour?"
Your heart skipped a beat as his words sunk in.
"You mean..go on tour with you guys? Be a part of the band?"
"It's the only way to really understand us, right? Get into our world, our culture, and experience it for yourself. I already pitched it to your editor and he said as long as the label pays for expenses and you're game, he's game."
You were astounded at the things that Tom Davis could get done before noon.
"But..how would that work? Where would I stay? I don't have any experience touring or writing on the road."
You took a deep breath, processing everything Tom had just told you. "I'd be lying if I said that this wasn't an incredible offer."
"An incredible offer you can't refuse?"
You couldn't help but smile, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. "An incredible offer I can't refuse."
Tom let out a hearty laugh, "That's what I like to hear! Look, we've already discussed it amongst ourselves, and as for accommodations, we're a tight-knit group, we always look out for one another. You'll have a place to crash every night, always a nice hotel to stay in."
Your mind was racing with possibilities. The chance to immerse yourself in their world, to witness their artistry up close and personal—it was an opportunity unlike any other. "What about interviews? Will I have unrestricted access?"
Tom nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely. We want this to be as authentic as possible. You'll have full access to everyone in the band, backstage, on the bus, wherever we go. Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Promise me you won't hold back. We want the real story, the gritty details, the highs and lows of life on the road. Don't sugarcoat anything."
You nodded with determination. "I promise, Tom. I'll give it my all."
"Good," he said with a satisfied smile. "I have a feeling you're going to fit right in."
As you pressed down on the end call button, a surge of adrenaline shot through your veins. This was it - the opportunity to delve deep into the core of the band and capture their raw energy in words for all to experience. Just thinking about it made your heart race, and as you thought of Frankie, you felt an unfamiliar warmth in your belly.
You'd have a new adventure ahead of you, one that would change your life forever.
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uyuforu · 4 months
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Hii, how are you doing? I'm loving your astrological interpretations! could you tell us how do you interprete degrees? thank you ^^
Hello! Thank you very much!^^
About degrees. I like to take degrees as "keywords" that can be added as details. It always add details.
Aries (1°, 13°, 25°): fights, war, not giving up, taking action, struggles, abuse, labor, leadership and leader spirit, beginnings, anger, etc.
Taurus (2°, 14°, 26°): money, food, luxury, chilling, the earth, nature, simple life, stability, voice, singing, seducing, etc.
Gemini (3°, 15°, 27°): voice, communication, speaking, languages, new technologies, phones, self-expression, books, learning, being curious, gossips, siblings, neighborhood, humor, witty, smart etc.
Cancer (4°, 16°, 28°): home, mother, nurturing, babies, pregnancy, feminine energy, moon, emotions, traditions, loyalty, food, faith, water, etc.
Leo (5°, 17°, 29°): fame, celebrity, shining, being the center of attention, life of the party, having fun, children, inner child, light, creativity, imagination, laugh, royalty, entertainment, hair, strength, natural leader, easily getting noticed for... etc.
Virgo (6°, 18°): perfectionnist, hardworking, improve, health, routine, detailed oriented, work, pets, to be in service, help, hospitals, mental health, physical health, etc.
Libra (7°, 19°): beauty, fashion, harmony, fairness, law, justice, business, marriage, partnerships, love, makeup, luxury, charm, charisma, music, art, beauty of soul, etc.
Scorpio (8°, 20°): shadow, death, dark side, flaws, s3x, wealth, money, manifestation, rebirth, the spiritual world, intense connections, the unknown, jealousy, pregnancy, night, secrets, etc.
Sagittarius (9°, 21°): philosophy, wisdom, teaching and learning, college, studies, life smart, learning from life and experiences, spontaneous, curious, the spiritual world, traveling, exploring, etc.
Capricorn (10°, 22°): working, hardworking, money, abundance, luxury, cold, royalty, to take control, public attention, fame, fear, father, family, leader, depression, ambition, old etc.
Aquarius (11°, 23°): Spontaneous, humanity, being unique about..., weird, friends, new technologies, social medias, organizations, networking, internet, divorce, surprises, high places, etc.
Pisces (12°, 24°): spirituality, dreams, 5D, esotericism, astrology, psychic abilities, sleep, drugs, alcohol, addictions, the unconscious, emotions, art, poetry, water, madness, shadow work, endings, etc.
0° degree means either it's the same energy (as the house or sign), either there is nothing much to say.
For me, degrees are still needed when we analysis charts, it's very significant sometimes. For example, my mother has vertex in her 5H, and the degree is 29° (Leo). And the year she got me, her vertex was in Leo, with 29°... I'm Leo sun!
Hope it helped :)
- uyu
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nalyra-dreaming · 5 days
Text
Oh I love these:
Jacob Anderson
On Sam Reid's performance as dream Lestat: "I noticed after we did a few scenes together with that dynamic, I would just notice Sam copying me. I would have to be like, 'OK, he's studying the way that I stand or the way that I say things. It's the story. It's what's supposed to be happening.' But occasionally I was like, 'I don't do that!' Now I've seen the season, and I'm like, 'It's genius.' I'm looking forward to seeing what Sam says about playing Louis, essentially. It's Lestat as Louis remembers him, filtered through the things that Louis doesn't want to say, and can't say. And maybe the things that Louis is embarrassed or ashamed about, Lestat just says it."
Sam Reid
On Lestat and Armand's relationship: "They have a very, very, very messy relationship. I think a big part of why Lestat didn't want to go back to France, in Season 1, when they were in New Orleans, is because he doesn't want to run into Armand. He doesn't want to see Armand. He's got a very, very complex relationship with him. It's not like he's like, "Ugh, Armand!" [Disgusted noise] It's like, "Ugh." [Exasperated noise] He's not twisty, turny, thinking about Armand every single day or whatever. He's like, "Ugh, I just would rather… Yeah, I don't want him around." But when he does the flick of his wrist when he thinks about Armand, he's also flicking a huge chunk of his life away."
Delainey Hayles
On Louis and Claudia's relationship: "The book became like my Bible in a way, where I was able to look back and look at how Anne Rice describes Claudia. And I was taking into consideration that it's been her and Louis for a very long time. As a child, you absorb your surroundings. Claudia has spent a lot of time with Louis over the past couple of years. So I think, in a way, his empathy kind of rubs off on her."
Assad Zaman
On the show's memory theme: "I personally think often we equate — if the memory's a little bit inaccurate, then the feeling isn't real. [But] if you think back to our childhood, we elaborate on the stories in our heads so much, and often the tiniest things, moments that meant a lot to us become bigger as we remember them. Time slows down or speeds up, and people become larger or smaller in our heads depending on how they made us feel in that time. I think [there's] a lot of that this season — when we go into Paris, I think that's where the performative nature comes into it. We get to really embrace those emotions. The love between Louis and Armand, the romance, is one of the most beautiful parts of it, the way it starts."
Eric Bogosian
On his experience working on the show: "To be working on such complex material and be asked to do things that I haven't done before, and to be working with such amazing creative team — I mean... I've been around. I'm not speaking from, like, this is my second show or my third show. This is like, my 35th show, or 60th, or something. So when I say that Rolin [Jones] is amazing, Hannah [Moscovitch] is amazing — that's our writing team — and that Jacob and Assad are amazing — these guys are very generous. And I think a lot about [how] when you go into deep work as an actor, you have to feel safe. I have definitely not been safe [in the past], especially with men. Men can be real jerks on set, and the audience can't see it, because we have to do our job. But if you're with a bully star, it's hard to go to where you need to go to. And Jacob, who's mainly who I'm working with, he's a very loving guy. Maybe people don't want to know this about him. Maybe I'm only supposed to say things like, 'In real life he's actually a vampire,' but in real life, he's actually a real, very sweet man. Very human."
Ben Daniels
On Santiago's approach to the theater: "It's like people trolling on Twitter. It's like, they're hidden behind the screen, but his screen is the fact that he's pretending to be a human. And he sort of is getting those mortals by the scruff of the neck and saying, 'Look at yourselves. Look how ridiculous and pathetic you are.' But they lap it up because they think it's a show."
THERE'S MORE!
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hyuuukais · 6 months
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚your song (1.6k)
->♡idol!han jisung x fem reader
->♡pov: u fall in love with han jisung
->♡warnings: 1 kind of suggestive comment
it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside
never in your life had you fallen in love. of course, you knew love, you knew her well. love surrounded you in almost every way possible; you knew her like the back of your hand. but romance? fireworks? falling so deep you're drowning in it?
you can't say you're familiar with the feeling.
so when you get this tingling in your fingers as they brush against his arm accidentally, causing you both to look up and blush, you indulge in the foreign feeling. lightheaded, nervous, giddy.
"hi, i'm jisung-" his smile slightly falters as you pull your hand away. "you're felix's friend, right?"
i know it's not much, but it's the best i can do. my gift is my song and this one's for you
overworked, overtired, a cup of hot chocolate turned cold long ago the only thing in your system.
as if he sensed your stress from across the globe, your phone lit up with an incoming call. you debate getting up to grab your phone which is across the room charging on a small table. seeing the contact name decided for you; hanji.
"hello?"
"hey baby," the nickname he'd adopted for you makes your heart swell when he speaks. "you okay?"
"um, yeah, i guess so."
"you don't sound very convincing."
you sigh, giving in and confessing that your workload had been crazy lately. something about him made you want to tell all your deepest secrets, stripping yourself down to the bone for him to see.
"i know i can't do much from here, i wish i could." there's a pause. "what time is it for you?"
"...three am."
"three? y/n i- you!" his reaction makes you laugh. "okay. okay, listen. you, me on the phone, your bed, right now."
"i'm sorry, what?"
"not like that!" he says, a bit too loudly. "i meant like, you go to bed and i stay on the line. i could sing you to sleep."
a blush creeps up your neck, your cheeks, your ears. you agree, of course, and hurry off to bed, you can finish your work last minute in the morning. hearing the one and only han jisung sing to you personally? well, that was an offer you couldn't pass up. little did you know he would do it any time you asked.
his voice comes over the phone softly, and you can even hear him pick at guitar strings. you don't recognize the tune; something new, he said, something i've been working on for y- um, just something, haha. it doesn't take long for sleep to take you, and when you wake, he's hung up. of course he has, he has things to do too. a part of you wishes he'd stayed overnight. there's a text, a simple good morning i hope you slept well!! did you dream of me? :P, and your heart flutters.
and you can tell everybody that this is your song
"y/n hurry up or i'm gonna eat all your birthday cake myself!"
you had just finished getting ready to leave, picking out a green skirt to compliment the shirt jisung wore. you didn't know where you were going, only that one, you were meeting the boys there and two, he wanted to match. green looked so good on him, you couldn't help but stare when he first came into your little apartment.
over the past year, you'd grown closer to him, and one thing he couldn't wait to do was to celebrate your birthday. jisung brought it up multiple times, especially during the last few months, all of the things he wanted to do with you, experience with you. at this point he was almost challenging felix's best friend position.
"oh my god, you look gorgeous." his eyes widen as you step out. "you're joking right? like, you're actually joking? i get to spend my life with someone as beautiful as you-"
now your eyes widen, but it was like jisung hadn't even noticed what he said. he takes your hand in his, making you do a spin; you laugh freely and feel yourself become you in his presence. no one made you feel the way han jisung did.
you were slowly coming to terms with that.
"have i ever told you how much i love you?" jisung wraps his arms around your waist, playfully nuzzling into your neck. anyone looking in would think you were together. "because i love you a lot. shoutout to lix for losing you at that party, 'cause i don't know if he'd have introduced us. keeping you to himself."
he hums a now familiar tune, the song he refuses to tell you about. anytime you bring it up, he shies away, it's nothing, just work. the notes vibrate into your neck. this moment, it's engraving itself into your mind. the intimacy, safety, love.
a moment passes, he moves away from your neck. your faces are dangerously close. his eyes bore into yours, heat radiating off his body. the movement is slight, jisung moving in closer, lips parted.
a knock reminds you of where you are, who you're with, where you're supposed to be going. you break apart.
"i forgot felix was coming here," jisung pouts, leaving to get the door, heart beating just as fast a your own.
i hope you don't mind, i hope you don't mind that i put down in words...
the day finally comes where jisung shows you the lyrics to the song he's been writing. there's not a lot so far, being busy with the tour and all, but enough to feel a deep sadness lie in the pit of your stomach; it's a love song.
"it's... it's beautiful ji," you blink back tears, not wanting him to see. "whoever you wrote this for... they're very lucky."
"if anyone's lucky it's me," he says with a sigh. your back is turned to him, so you don't see the hearts in his eyes, don't feel the way his heart skips a beat when you lean back into him, back against his chest. "she makes me feel... like i could do anything."
he presses a kiss to your temple, and the tears well again.
"she doesn't even realize what she does to me," he says, tone serious. "or how amazing she is, how smart she is. she's a super hard worker, almost too hard, and that's coming from me," he chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "and her laugh? god, her laugh. you know, i thought i was annoying y- um, her, until she laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of her nose because of some stupid joke i made."
no way, you think, he doesn't mean-
...how wonderful life is while you're in the world
but he did.
that night, you didn't confess, just simply looked at him, eyes understanding. nothing happened, not physically at least, both still too scared to make a move even with the unsaid confession hanging heavy in the air, but something changed.
you were closer than ever, limbs entangled during movie nights, countless "friend dates", endless teasing from the others more persistent. the universe was pushing you together; why was it all so scary? although you were sure he felt the same, you couldn't act upon it. what about the media? and if not that, what about your conflicting schedules? a text pulled you away from those thoughts.
hannie bby - new song up soon !!!!!! ur gonna listen right??
y/n - nah. don't feel like it
hannie bby - WHAT
hannie bby - i mean i guess if you don't want to that's fine you don't have to. it meant a lot to me though but i understand
y/n - i was joking !!!!!
hannie bby - don't scare me like that
y/n - i have yt open rn. just waiting for the countdown
hannie bby - :)
hannie bby - i wasn't going to say until after
hannie bby - but this song is inspired by you
even more curious now, you wait anxiously for the video to start. 3.. 2.. 1.. it plays. it's slow at first, an extremely familiar tune playing in your ears. the lyrics are about love and fear; the fear of love. by the end your eyes have grown watery, almost missing jisungs incoming call.
"what did you think?"
the tears fall. "come over."
within twenty minutes, there's a knock on your door. he stares at your wet cheeks when you open the door, his hands on your face in an instant. warmth, connection. jisung kicks the door shut as you back up into your humble apartment, your arms around his neck. no words are said as he turns you around, hands slowly finding their way down to your waist, your back against the now closed door. your faces are close, breath intermingling.
"kiss me."
and he does.
he does and kissing him is an explosion.
his lips are soft, careful, gentle, grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly. your fingers find their way into his hair, lost in the feeling of him against you, chest to chest. when he pulls away, it's brief, you pulling him back more fiercely than intended. a surge of confidence, his tongue brushes against your bottom lip. you let him in, teeth knocking into each other. another heated moment passes before you pull away again, catching your breath. your lips are swollen, pink, his matching and eyes blown out.
"i take it you liked the song?"
"loved it."
he breathes out a laugh, hand caressing your cheek lightly, corner of his mouth twitching upward in a smirk. it doesn't last long. jisung clears his throat, looking down. his hands take yours.
"if i said i loved you-"
"say it," you take a hand away to lift his chin up.
his eyes meet yours. "i love you. ever since we met, i've loved you."
"i love you too," you smile. "more than words can describe."
he leans in again.
-
-> notes ♡ birthday gift for my love @tfshouldidohere bc i can't see u physically. i love u so much. like so much. like an insane amount you have no idea. i really hope you enjoyed this :3 have THE best birthday ever, i love you i love you i love you <333 💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎
-> taglist ♡ @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143
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Hellaurr
I had a very interesting dream plz I'm desperate for Minho to facefuck me so so so so rough plz I'm literally foaming in the mouth for his cum (desperate ass call for desperate measures 🤣🤣🤣)
(with lots of degrading plz)
Hehe if ur comfortable could you make it a male!reader? If not it's fine hehe just make it gn or fem, heheheheheheh tysm 🎉✨💅
I was so excited when this ask hit my inbox. Thank you @chuuchuu1224 for sending me my first ever request for a male!reader 😘
I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and it was so fucking hot in my head, but now I’m about to post it I’m a little nervous. As much as I love writing from a guys perspective (usually skz member’s perspective with fem!reader), I’m not a guy. So I’m never going to truly know the experience. I hope I did ok 🫣
To my female readers: I really hope you give this a read because I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy it if you generally enjoy my work. Minho face fucking is a need.
Lastly, degradation is a challenge for me (I’m a praise baby, but I love reading degradation). I’m sorry if it’s not degrading enough 😬.
CW basically everything in the ask 👆
‼️⚠️As always MDNI⚠️‼️
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You watched Minho perform every single week at the local theatre. Saying he was your favourite dancer was an understatement. You were well and truly obsessed with him. Your eyes would be glued on his incredible physique from start to finish, not even noticing the other performers.
Minho was everything. Strong and controlled. Fluid and graceful. He had an expression of disdain one minute, a cute flirty glimmer in his eyes the next. And the way he rolled his hips whilst looking down at himself? Well, that always got you leaking, right there in the theatre.
Every week, you'd grow hard in your pants while sitting in the audience, hoping the person who sat next to you didn't see the boner your were sporting.
You'd think about him all the way home, and more often than not, you had to fuck into your hand before you even made it into the house. You always made sure to keep a packet of tissues in the glovebox of your car.
Tonight, Minho's performance had you hornier than usual, and you made an executive decision to go find the bathrooms to alleviate your situation, before anyone had a chance to see the state you were in.
"Y/n? That is your name, right?" A voice stopped you just as you were about to walk into the bathroom. Startled, and a little panicked, you turned to the person speaking to you.
Minho. Fuck. Your hands quickly tried to hide the bulge in your pants.
Minho's eyes followed your hands to your crotch. "hmph." he grunted and raised an eyebrow.
"Y-yes...that's me." you smiled sheepishly whilst dying inside.
----
"I've seen you here before, y/n." Minho said as he stripped the last of your clothes off your body. "Many times, in fact."
You were laying completely naked on a huge couch in a back room of the theatre. You gripped your cock as you watched Minho casually undress himself, tossing the garments to the floor. "Do you come to watch me?" he turned and smirked at you, before his eyes dropped to where you held yourself. “Tsk tsk. I didn’t say you could touch yourself now did I?”
You immediately released your cock, letting it lay against your lower abs, and swallowed hard in anticipation. What was Minho going to do to you?
“I see your pretty little face in the audience. Every. Single. Week.” He sauntered towards you and ran his hand up your leg, then your torso, causing you to tremble. “Watching me with that slutty mouth hung open.” He cupped your chin. “And you know what I wonder to myself every time I see you?”
Your eyes grew wide as they stared up at the man you’d admired from afar for so long.
“What that mouth would look like choking on my cock?”
You groaned and closed your eyes, your dick hardening even more.
“Hmm.” Minho stroked your cheek. “You like the idea of my cock rammed down your throat.” He forced your mouth open, shoving two fingers inside. You moaned again and sucked on his fingers, showing him what a good, obedient boy you could be.
He pulled his fingers out abruptly, dragging your saliva all over your chin.
Minho moved to grab your legs and pulled you further down the length of the couch, then climbed over you to straddle your chest. His magnificent dancer’s thighs pressed down on your chest, and his delicious, mouthwatering cock, was mere inches from your face.
“Beg me for it.” He said coldly, gripping his cock with one hand and a fistful of your hair in the other.
Your eyes started to water at the desperation you felt. You wanted him so bad you’d do anything to have him just use you. Use you for his pleasure and discard you when he was done. You’d thank him for it.
“Pl-please… Minho… need…your cock. Need your cum.” You whined.
Minho rubbed the head of his cock along your lower lip, swiping precum on it like it was lip gloss. You started to wriggle, you needed him to put it inside you now!
“Use me… please…I wanna be your cockslut.” You sobbed. Minho kept rubbing the tip of his cock along the edge of your mouth.
“Yeah? Want me to fuck you good? Destroy your throat, hmm?”
You nodded desperately.
“Okay. If you think you can take it. Open.” He demanded, and you complied instantly. “No touching yourself or me.”
He pushed his cock deep into your mouth and hissed as it passed over your tongue.
“That’s it.. take it down…Such a fucking slut. Yes. Open wider.” He pulled out halfway and thrust his hips to push himself in further.
You couldn’t breathe. He filled your mouth so good. He tasted like soap and sweat. His skin so velvety and smooth, and the way the veins felt along you tongue did things to your insides.
Minho fucked into your mouth furiously, hitting the back of your throat every single time. Your eyes watered and you hoped with everything you had that you didn’t gag.
“You’re taking this a little too well.” Grunted Minho. With the hand that was gripping your hair, he pushed the back of your head into the couch, and angled his hips to push his cock in until your lips were wrapped around the base. The tip squeezed past your throat, making you gag with a gurgling sound, and your face turn red.
“Finally choking on it properly now.” He slapped your cheek, and fucking you harder still.
You were pinned under his strong legs, unable to escape - not that you wanted to. Your legs started moving about, and your hips began to jutt against thin air. You wanted some friction, but your poor cock had to just lay there, swollen and neglected.
Your hand came up to rest on Minho’s thighs. That was a big mistake.
Minho paused, still lodged deep in your mouth. “What did I say, slut? Take your filthy hands off me.” He said through gritted teeth.
You whimpered around his cock as you removed your hands.
Minho sighed and looked up to the ceiling, before looking back down at your fucked out face. “What am I going to do with you?” He asked himself.
He pulled out of your mouth and climbed off you. Your eyes widened. “No… please! Minho… I can be good… I wanna be good… please… need you..”
Minho simply ignored you and moved around behind your head to drag you so your head was hanging off the edge of the couch arm. Then he disappeared momentarily, returning with a soft belt from a bath robe.
“Little boys that misbehave must be punished. Don’t you think?” He said tying your hands together, then moving back to wear your head hung.
“Open wide little cockslut.” He said in the most condescending tone you’d ever heard. Of course you obliged, opening as wide as you could.
You knew he wasn’t going to be gentle. His cock pushed past your tongue and deep into your throat, until he was all the way in. The more you struggled and the more you gagged, the harder his cock became, and the further down your throat he forced himself.
“This is what you wanted isn’t it? You wanted to choke on it.” He growled as your lips pressed against his pelvis. “I’m gonna be real nice and give you exactly what you want. I’m gonna make you fuckin’ choke.” His hand came to your throat and pressed around where his cock was stretching you open.
“Fuck…so tight…shit…fuck.” He hissed, slamming himself into you brutally.
You had no choice but to gladly take it.
“So fucking pathetic, with your leaking cock. Bet you’re gonna cum untouched… so desperate… so fucking pathetic.”
You whimpered, moaned, thrashed around as Minho held your head in place with his cock and his hands. “That’s it. Take it like the desperate little cockslut you are.”
Your neglected cock was well and truly leaking, tears were streaming from your eyes, and your mouth was dribbling messily. Yet you needed more.
You needed Minho’s cum. You wanted him to completely fucking ruin you. Just the thought of tasting his cum had you on the edge of your own orgasm, and your demise came when you opened your eyes to get the perfect view of Minho’s ass. Your cries were muffled as the coil inside you snapped and you felt ropes of your own cum land on your stomach as your orgasm hit you like a tsunami.
“So pathetic.” Grunted Minho when he saw you make a mess on yourself, then he was filling you up. “Drink it up… That’s it… Like a good little cockslut.” He panted as spurts of cum hit the back of your throat, then he pulled out to paint your face with the reminder of his seed.
“Fuck!” He growled throwing his head back as he allowed himself to calm down.
You tried to catch your breath whilst trying to desperately lick as much cum from around your face as possible. You didn’t want to waste a drop.
Minho began to redress, raking his eyes over you as he pulled his sweats up. You thought he was going to just leave you there, naked and used. If you were honest with yourself you were thrilled with that thought.
Unexpectedly, Minho knelt beside you with a towel, wiping you up and untying you.
Then he did something more unexpected.
He took you in a deep kiss.
asks are open
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@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @kangnina @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @chuuchuu1224 @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx
Sorry if you’re tagged twice… my end indicates my original tag of you didn’t work properly.
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nexysworld · 1 year
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Can you do a story where fem reader is having sex dreams about leon and she's so embarrassed to look or talk to him she gets so flustered around him
While they were taking a rest in abandoned cabin Leon hears fem reader dreaming about him
He finds it really arousing hearing her say his name in a desperate way like she wants him so bad
He ends up waking her up and she feels embarrassed but they end up having sex
(つ ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ ) Ohohoho I like the way you think anon. ~ Waking Dreams ~ Read on AO3 🖤   Requests are Open 🖤 Masterlist Pairing: Fem!Reader x Leon Tags: NSFW, Sexsomnia, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Wet Dreams, slight dubcon/power dynamics, PWP Word Count: 2.6K
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The dreams started a week before the mission, and you hated it. You couldn’t close your eyes without seeing those glistening muscles or his hard, throbbing – nope don’t even think about it. Every night you woke up covered in sweat with your hand in your soaked sticky panties, stewing in feelings of shame. This wasn’t right, Leon was your partner for Christ’s sake, and now you couldn’t even look him in the eye. Of course you had feelings for him, but you ignored them knowing it wasn’t professional to hit on or go out with your mission partner. 
Not that your current behavior was that professional - sitting as far as possible from him during meetings, ducking out of rooms as fast as you could. It was worse when he did manage to get close enough to speak, you’d blush, stutter, and forget very basic things like how to hold a coffee mug causing the hot liquid to spill all over his desk. God you felt stupid.
You were just pent up from repressed feelings and a lack of getting laid. This would pass. Sure it would pass. This had to pass. At least that’s what you’d convinced yourself. You had it all planned out, you’d go to the bar with some friends, find a hot guy, fuck like a rabbit until the sun came up - then bam - it would be out of your system and everything would be back to normal. At least that was the plan until the chief announced that you and Leon would be going on a surprise mission to Spain. 
“Are you ok?” 
“What?” “I said, are you ok? You’ve been acting weird, are you sure you’re up for the mission?” “Yeah Leon, everything is fine.” If there’s one thing you were glad for it’s that Leon was painfully awkward at social interactions. Everyone in the world knew you had a crush on Leon, except Leon. You were lucky he thought something was wrong instead of putting the obvious together. The mission was off to a rough start. No one had warned either of you about the infected villagers which seemed to be everywhere. Eventually, after fending off what felt like hundreds of them, the two of you were able to rest in an old cabin you’d found.
Inquisitively you turned the knob on the sink and running water came out. “Hey, I’m going to check if the water works in the bathroom as well.” Leon nodded at you dismissively, as he checked over his weapons. Relief washed over you when the dingy shower worked. It wasn’t the best bathing experience you’d ever had, but it felt great to get the sweat and grime off of your body. Once you were dried and back into your clothes, minus the tactical gear, you kept watch while Leon took his chance to clean up. When he was done you both sat at the wooden table in the center. “We should probably try to get some sleep.” He suggested. “I normally don’t like to stop moving but we both are more exhausted than we expected.” You dreaded this suggestion for obvious reasons. “No I’m okay, you can go ahead and sleep though.” “We both need sleep, go lay down, I'll keep the first watch.” “Leon, I just don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Why not?” “Look, I'm not going to lay down. So just stop–” “First you spend all your time avoiding me and now you’re arguing with me? Mission partners or not I’m still your superior. Go. Lay. Down. That’s an order.” He snapped, pointing at the bed. 
He’d never pulled rank like that before, in fact, he’d never been upset with you before either. You couldn’t argue so you did as you were told making your way to the bed before lying down, falling asleep quicker than expected due to sheer exhaustion. Leon had decided to survey the outside of the cabin just to ensure you were really alone and safe, he figured he could pick and grind down some herbs while he was at it. There was not a person or thing to be found which gave him a brief sense of relief as well. As he was working to pluck red and green plants from the ground he heard your voice calling his name. 
He approached the cabin slowly, worried you were in trouble, not wanting to startle any intruders he creaked the door open before sliding in. He scanned the room right to left, no one - so then why? Oh.
Leon watched you through the low light of the flames. You were still lying down, eyes shut softly with your right hand tucked under the pillow. Your left hand had worked its way into your pants, while you squirmed and moaned his name. “Please Leon, m’sorry for being bad, please let me cum….”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down his throat. At first he thought perhaps you knew he’d stepped out and were pleasuring yourself. But to him? He dared to take a few steps forward and whispered your name. When you didn’t respond he got louder. Your sleeping form groaned and rolled over to the side, hand still stuffed in your bottoms - the noises and movement stopped though. That’s when Leon realized you’d been asleep.
He couldn’t believe what he’d just witnessed so he opted to pretend he didn’t see it at all. Instead he focused on grinding the herbs down at the table with the pocket pestle. Though a few moments later he heard it again, the soft whimpering of his name. He dared his eyes to look up and sure enough you were back to it. He watched as your hand struggled against the restrictive fabric of your tactical pants, the way your other hand slipped up your shirt fondling your own breast, eyes still peacefully closed. His cock twitched in his own pants at the display. ‘Well that explained a lot about her recent behavior.’ He thought to himself, he knew you’d been acting strange, but he never thought that might be why. In fact, when Hunnigan had mentioned you crushing on Leon he even brushed it off. Now he was thinking she may have been on to something. He stood making his way over to the bed, not quite sure what he was going to do next. He wanted to touch you and he wanted to relieve the aching erection that was now at full attention in his own pants. Under different circumstances he would’ve thought this through more - what if you were just having a dream, it didn’t mean you really liked or wanted him - but every sweet moan of his name was like a hypnotist pulling someone under. Guess there was only one way to find out. He reached down and gently brushed his fingers over your collar bone, dragging them down slightly. You stirred softly, he continued running his fingers down between your clothed breasts to where they met the skin of your belly before running them back up until he was touching your cheek. The sensation on your face caused you to wake up a little, though still groggy. You made out a form hazily standing next to the bed. “Leon?” And then came the realization of your current predicament. “Oh god I wasn’t… I didn’t… you didn’t” Your still sleep soaked brain couldn’t formulate the proper words to ask to explain anything as heat rose to your cheeks. You didn’t even have enough brainpower to think about pulling your hands out of their lewd positions. Leon didn’t respond to your blabbering though, he leaned down close as he ran his hand down and placed it over the clothed hand in your pants. “Poor baby, you’re never going to satisfy yourself like that. Too restrictive, too empty.” He daringly undid the button and zipper of your tactical pants, giving your hand more space. “Want some help?”You didn’t respond, feeling a pang of heat go right to your pussy at his words. You’d never heard his voice sound so husky before either.
“I asked you a question.” He said, giving a light tap to your hand, causing it to rub against your clit, you jolted slightly from the sensation. “Do you want me to help you? It certainly sounded like you did.”
“Y-yes.” You moaned when he brought his hand lower to squeeze your thigh.
“Hmm, I don’t know. You haven’t been very nice to me recently, barely talking to me, running away from me, arguing with me. Maybe you don’t deserve my help.” He brought his lips down to place a kiss on your neck, sucking a soft bruise into your skin, chuckling when you squirmed. “How about we practice using our big girl words. Why don’t you say you’re sorry and try asking me really nicely, I might just be convinced.”
Your body was on fire and your clit throbbed, leaving you defeated to his whims. “Please Leon? I’m sorry for being bad, I’ll be good from now on, please just make me cum.”
“Good girl.” He cooed, capturing your lips with his, biting your bottom one as he pulled away letting it slip from between his teeth with a trail of saliva connecting you still. Leon reached down to pull your hand out of your pants and the other from your shirt. He tugged your pants and underwear down until they were just above your knees, restricting your leg movements.  “Stay just like that for me, just for a moment.
He stood straight up making quick work of his own tactical gear, tossing them onto the kitchen table and kicking his boots off before crawling over you on the bed. He leaned forward to kiss you again, dragging one hand along your body until it reached your sopping wet pussy. He loved the way you whimpered into his mouth when he circled your clit with one of his fingers agonizingly slow, before dipping one finger into your hole.
“Shit baby, you’re so wet already just from a dream and a little heavy petting?” He sunk another finger inside while he worked at your clit with his thumb. “I bet that’s not the first time you’ve dreamt of me like that, is it?” He sped up his movements as he placed wet kisses along your jaw and neck. “C’mon baby, be honest. If you don’t I’ll stop” He curled his fingers inside of you against that special spot, leaving you breathless for a moment.
“No, please don’t stop . . . yes I’ve been having these dreams all week.” He liked your response, earning you the pleasure of him speeding up his thumb. The coiling heat in your core was wound up so tight you felt you could come undone any moment.
“All week? Oh no wonder you’ve been acting so strange. Got a crush on your partner huh? I bet you were picturing me bending you over my desk when you spilled that coffee, weren’t you?”
“Oh god yeah…Lee I’m gonna -”
“Go ahead baby, cum for me. Cum all over my fingers.”
The coil finally snapped as waves of pleasure rocked throughout your body, he kept his movements slow and steady working you through your orgasm. When he pulled his hand out, he gave a soft slap to your overstimulated clit, loving the whine you let out.
“No wonder you’ve been in such a bad mood. My poor sweet little partner is stuck dreaming about me every night, never satisfied. Tell me baby, are you satisfied now?”
Daringly you shook your head. “Please Lee, need more.”
“More? Bein’ greedy Sweetheart, but I’m in a generous mood. Tell me exactly what you want or I won’t be able to help.”
“Need to be stretched out around your cock - please.” You begged him, eyes focused on the bulge in his pants.
“Need my cock to make you feel better? How could I say no when you’re so sweet about it.” He moved to slide your pants and underwear completely off before helping you sit up, switching positions so he was the one lying down on the bed. “If you need it so badly, baby, then come get it.”
He didn’t have to tell you twice as you leaned forward, working off his belt and the buttons of his pants, tugging his underwear down slightly so you could free his throbbing erection. You had to admit the real Leon was far better than dream Leon. He was larger than you imagined and the tip was a pretty pink with pearls of precum leaking out.
Another time you’d love to know what it would taste like in your mouth - for now you were on a mission. You gave him a few pumps with your hand before crawling over him. You lined up the fat head of his cock before sinking down onto it, earning a moan from the man below you.
“Fuck baby, you are tight.” He reached out a hand and held your hip to help balance you. You let out a sigh of relief as the stinging stretch ebbed into a dull pleasure before you began to bounce up and down. With each movement the tip of him hit your cervix in a delightful mix of pain and pleasure.
“God Lee….so deep….you’re so deep…feels so good.” He brought his free hand up to place against your stomach intensifying the feeling. Each movement had you dripping all over him, he knew there’d be a wet spot left on his pants, but he didn’t really care at the moment. Your cunt felt too good to worry about anything right now.
“That’s right baby, ride me just like a good girl.”
You could already feel yourself getting close again each time he rubbed that special spot inside you that had you seeing stars. Your legs started to feel more and more like jelly the closer you were getting, losing your rhythm.
“Lee - can’t…much longer.”
“Shit, I’m close too, don't worry I got you.” He held your hips with both hands now and held you until you stopped your movements. He gave you a moment to relax before he thrusted upwards into you, using your hips as leverage. “Go head, touch yourself f’me.”
You rubbed your clit while he bucked into you, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he was close to his own high, each movement caused obscene squelching noises. A few more circles around your clit and you pussy clamped down on him as you tossed your head back, basking in the pleasure of your second orgasm. That’s all it took for Leon to snap, pulling your hips down onto him with a bruising grip as he shot hot cum into you, rocking you slightly while he rode out his own orgasm.
Once you had control of your consciousness again you rolled off of him to lay beside him on the outer side of the bed, needing to catch your breath. You both sat in silence for a while, just basking in the moment.
Leon was the first to speak. “So, how about once we get home I take you out to dinner and you can tell me more about these dreams you’ve been having?”
“Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Yeah I think I am. You wanna go on a date with me?”
“You know? I think I do, actually.”
“Great. Now get dressed and stand watch so I can take a nap.” He said pushing you gently out of the bed. You rolled your eyes and groaned before putting your pants back on, taking a seat at the table.
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