#sometimes i overthink stuff

[redbootsindoriath]

Okay so I, like most Silmarillion fanartists, draw the Fëanorian twins as looking like...well...kids.  The book says they were the youngest in the family, and we all went, “Okay then they’re children.”  Which...yeah, that’s fair.  They really just seem to be chilling most of the time, which makes them seem a bit more innocent than the others.  But rather early on in my time doing Silm fanart, I thought about how funny if would be if they looked way older than their brothers.  But I never did anything with the idea.

Well, after finishing the Fëanorian Week drawings this year I was thinking about how I don’t really draw many Ñoldor due to not having headcanons about many of them.  And you guys know by this time that I love a bit of good angst, so I looked at the twins and said, “...ooh goody” and gave them a big old revamp.  (The drawing is of Amras and Maedhros, by the way.  For one thing, I’ve said before that I don’t like drawing identical twins. And for another…we’ll get into that in a second.)

Real quick, for those who aren’t super familiar with the different pieces of source material we have from Tolkien: in the Silmarillion both twins survive most of the story until they die together in the same battle near the end of the book. However, in one lone version of the story, Amrod dies when the ships are burned at Losgar.  Okay so.  That’s what’s been published, from here on out it’s just headcanon territory.

I think Amrod did die when the ships were burned.  Elves are spiritually a bit...different...so I expect twins have a particularly strong bond.  Amras wasn’t really able to handle the death of his brother, and went a little bit weird in the head.  He believed that half of his own soul died at Losgar, and half of Amrod’s still lived inside of him.  For the rest of his life, he answered to Amrod’s names, his own names, and Ambarussa, and signed his name and managed accounts as any of them as well.  He refused to acknowledge Amrod’s death and became irrational when any of his brothers mentioned it, so eventually they played along.  The story spreads that there were two of Fëanor’s sons that guard East Beleriand, but they are unsocial and rarely seen together.  People will report having seen one or the other of them but no one can tell the difference (in reality, this is because there is only one that is still alive.)

It’s uncertain who all knows about Amrod’s death, even among the Ñoldor that came with Fingolfin.  Most of the Sindar and Silvan elves don’t know.  Probably no humans know.  Anyone who does know doesn’t talk about it, and all everybody else knows is what they're told, and this is why in most versions of the story they both survive until Sirion.  For a while you’d see one or the other of them out hunting or going to war, and you just assumed the other was doing something else.  But then after Sirion no one ever saw either one.  Therefore, they obviously both died in the same battle.

Anyway, that’s just the version I came up with.  I don’t know if I’ll keep it, but it makes Amras a much more interesting character.  And that let me come up with a more visually interesting design, much older than I used to draw them.  Whether this was always the way they looked or a change that Amras went through after arriving in Middle Earth I haven’t decided yet.

#amras #amrod #(mentioned) #maedhros #the man the myth the legends #three shinies #my trash #sometimes i overthink stuff #/end classification tags #and that concludes the art dump of the day with a bonus ramble #hopefully i didn't make any typos #or leave out anything major #i wrote this in a bit of a rush

[six-white-venus]

What can you do when you hate every word that comes out of your mouth with a burning passion? When nothing you say ever feels right? When all of your words feel like lies, even though they’re not?

Because they’re not, right? …right?

#hello anon hope you like this one #now that i wrote it i'm not so sure if this was a prompt or you were asking for advice #i got the poem part of it covered #instead of advice i'll just tell you some simple stuff that works for me sometimes #talk to someone. it makes you feel awful at the beginning but d it. talk talk talk #if talking is too much reach out to any of your loved ones #and just be in their presence #if that's also not an option. take a nap. cry if you think it'd help #don't forget to eat and drink water #just in case it wasn't a prompt #i hope everything turns out well for you anon <3 #my writing #prose poetry #words #love #writeblr #prose #tw dissociation #overthinking

[mikoran]

mike being book smart and a nerd but also so oblivious when it comes to human interaction and emotions is so real of him honestly

#mike wheeler #byler #<- target audience #cuz thats a thing i can do right #mike “told you. physics” wheeler and mike “she didnt look fine” wheeler love you #cant read a room to save his life #and hes very embarrassing to watch sometimes #but we love him for that and thats whats important #couldnt catch on that will was going through it all season but can figure out all the problems with the dumbass plan someone just proposed #hes great man #he just like me fr #partially at least #i think im able to catch onto stuff a little too well instead because #paranoia and overthinking #ill notice EVERYTHING and then miss the whole point because i hyperfocused on a detail #so same conclusion in the end anyway #this aint about me why am i still typing

[muckyschmuck]

Hi I really want to start tshots and am wondering how much the needles hurt? I'm a scaredy cat but would rather shots than patches... Your blog has helped me build the confidence to book appointments for gender affirming care

HI OMG FIRST OF ALL THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY THTA MY STUFF ENCOURAGED YUO TO SEEK OUT THE EPIC GENDER AFFIRMING CARE U DESERVE,THTAS SO FUCKING COOL EEEEEE IM EXCITED FOR U ANON WTF!!!!!!!!!! ok and i was the exact same way before starting, being scared is SO NORMAL and all the loading shit seemed so confusing too but watching youtube videos of other ppl loading their syringes n shooting themselves (that sounds so funny ok wait) helped a lot to make me unscared bc they all are so chill ab it!!!! i think it depends on pain tolerance a lot but i also think that testosterone makes pain less… painful after a bit? my first shot surprisingly didn’t hurt whatsoever. the actual needles you’ll be injecting with are SOOOO SMALL like. think a third of your pinky finger? maybe? my injection needles are not even a half inch and i barely feel them, they go in Super Easy, especially bc stomach/thigh/butt/wherever u decide to inject will ideally have a good amount of fat to cushion it,at the very most you’ll feel a small pinch, i’m autistic as fuck so blasting music or having a youtube video playing has been super fucking helpful(i used to watch sonic boom and say ‘next funny thing to happen is when i’ll put it in’) ALSO ANOTHER RANDOM THING putting the needle in fast and injecting slow is the WAY 2 GO which i’m sure you’ll see if u decide to watch videos of like medical professionals or tboys giving tips bc hesitance will make ur brain hone in on the Needle Entering You

#this was so rambly but FEAR NOT ANON WE ARE STRONF #it’s seriously gotten so easy for me and i only started doing my shots a bit ago #i used to amp it up in my head and overthink but now i just do my shot every week like it’s a morning vitamin #and sometimes mishaps happen like once a bed a lot or i’ll inject in a weird place that’s sorta uncomfortable #but we ball regardless #just watch a lot of videos of cool epic ppl being absolute fucking CHAMPS W THEIR SHOTS #also the sharpness of the needles is insanely good for. having it go in quick and stuff like #SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH TEXT IM JUST EXCITED FOR U ANON #PRETEND I SAID BLED INSYEAD OF BED IN THAT OTHER TAG

[darehearts]

people who can write s.mut in a tasteful way are artists idk how y'all do it. 

#IS IT JUST ME!!!!!!!! LMAO you know?! sometimes youre writing #something and like... you want to just call it what it is. no matter #how wild or graphic what you are describing is. but then youre like #if i say it like that-- it will sound funny when i read it back to myself #which will then kill the entire mood of... what im writing. but there are #only so many vague ways you can refer to something also and just!!! #sometimes i overthink it a LOT. and people who can balance that stuff #should receive a reward! i write s.mut off here here and there with #Tania obviously and she wouldnt care BUT FOR SOME REASON IM #SUPER PICKY-- i cry so much 🥴🥴🥴 #tbd #suggestive tw

[lucky-draws]

in another life kaz was an 80s pop star. to me

#mgs #metal gear solid #kazuhira miller #just wanted to draw his luscious locks . #kaz the smash hits poster boy. listen to his new single love deterrence out now. #quite like that last one bc of how loose n sketchy it is. i need to be less averse to drawing/posting stuff like that. stop #overthinking n worrying about detailed polished anatomy. things look better if you just get messy and Suggest things sometimes.

[arrietty-rune]

Sometimes i feel useless and annoying

#//vent #my vent art is... normal sometimes like this one so okay to rb but idk might delete later or removing the tags #i use a lot the wilsons as confort ch actually #idk sometime i feel like i'm not that appreciated in the fandom idk despite my heart know it's wrong #i think it just bc i overthink about some tawog artists that i enjoyed giving support for months but they never interacted with me #and for one of them their art and cute doodles helped me in personal stuff + brought me back to tawog fandom #and i hoped to make them smile with my art but.. yeah they just... don't care after these months #I get sad and disappointed that now they art send just... /neg vibes so i unfollowed them #idk i just feel guit that i made them upset for... unknown reasons #sigh i should just don't care about that and keep to draw dor myself #cringy or not #i'm mostly an optimistic person but overthink a lot when i feel anxious haha #i'll be probably smile and enjoy life again tomorrow #if ppl wanna talk or sending cute ask ye you can #talking with ppl help me to confort so feel free

[iero]

Okay, so my first time in an airport ever, my first flight ever is on Monday morning, so if any of y'all have any tips/tricks/whatever to help me, I'd appreciate them because I am, um, SCARED.

#personal #To the anon I got months ago when I talked about my solo trip: I saw your ask. I never ignored it. #I just keep it in my askbox and I read over it sometimes to help ease my anxiety over this whole thing. #And I've been doing as much research as I can so I DO know the basic stuff but I'm still nervous LMAO. #Probably overthinking everything especially since it's a only a 3 hour domestic flight as my first flight but AHH!

[galadae]

.

#sometimes i don't know whether i want to improve a skill for myself or so people will like what i make #bc half the reason i make things is to connect w people! and if they don't like it they're not going to engage #idk this isn't about anything in particular #i just think about it a lot #like idk what to do with wanting attention/feedback for something i made. bc i don't want anyone to ever feel pressured to engage w my stuff #but i want to yell about it #and i feel like I'm not going to know if it's actually good or bad unless i share it w someone #but i don't want to bother people #like yes i do things for fun but what's the point of sharing them if it's not going to make someone else feel something. i guess #anyways I should go eat dinner instead of overthinking ajdhdk #to delete later probably #hannah.txt

[x-ladydisdain-x]

wait ok curious

#am I overthinking this #sometimes opal says stuff

[redbootsindoriath]

Hi, Hwestalas from AO3 here! Earlier today, I happened to be thinking of Mablung’s lovely turquoise scale-freckles, and that set off a sudden explosion of curiosity about a half-dozen different details of your CoH Pirate AU. So I just had to ask…How did Túrin breathe while growing up in a mostly-undersea kingdom? Does he have some awesome magic way of breathing underwater, or did he just keep his nose and mouth above water the whole time? (I'll put the other questions in a new ask.)

Is the drawing where Mablung and Túrin seem to be arguing part of the scene from after he accidentally kills Saeros? The sarcastic look on Saeros’ face is so Saeros! And I love how Túrin is wearing an outfit that makes him look almost like a land-form merman! It sounds like the sort of thing he would do in his youth. Evidently he changed clothes later… but was that after he met the pirates, or before? Did they know he had been raised by mermen?

Oh, and if Beleg can get out of work by pretending to be dehydrated (I LOVE that comic!), can mer-people really get dehydrated or did he make up the entire concept? And does it play some role in his medical condition when Túrin finds him in the unfriendly clutches of his pirate crew? Anyway, thanks for all your drawings and fan-theories! I've had so much fun looking at this blog. Hope you're doing well!

Oh dude it's been forever since I had an excuse to think about any of my CoH AUs! This is very exciting. I actually already had the answers to most of those questions written down in a big master document. I'm going to put the answers under a cut here.

"How did Túrin breathe while growing up in a mostly-undersea kingdom? Does he have some awesome magic way of breathing underwater, or did he just keep his nose and mouth above water the whole time?" I cheated and stole the typical kissing-or-being-kissed-by-one-of-the-merfolk-grants-you-temporary-immunity-to-drowning explanation. This is why Túrin banished himself to above the water after the Saeros Incident™. Hard to keep living undersea when you keep having to come up for air every few minutes because you aren't associating with the seafolk anymore. In this AU I've decided that a kiss will grant you somewhere from a couple days to a week of underwater breathing; I haven't set an exact time limit yet. There are also a lot of air pockets within Menegroth, including many of the common areas. This is to allow the rare non-merfolk guest and/or prisoner to move about without having to be kissed every couple of days (since that could be a bit awkward for someone unaccustomed to the culture). And the rare non-merfolk prisoner would be easily contained if they were left without a kiss in air-pocket quarters separated from the surface by a mile of underwater corridors. Also, a kiss from a sea spirit (like Melian) earns you a slightly longer time span. So whenever Túrin is in Menegroth he probably gets his sea kisses from his foster mother rather than from one of the merfolk, but when he's out with the march-wardens he's stuck with having to get his kisses from them.

"Is the drawing where Mablung and Túrin seem to be arguing part of the scene from after he accidentally kills Saeros?" It's from that moment right after he attacked Saeros, so yes and no. "Then Túrin took up a drinking-vessel and cast it in Saeros' face, and he fell backward with great hurt; and Túrin drew his sword and would have run at him, but Mablung restrained him." So Saeros is still alive at this point, but not for long.

"The sarcastic look on Saeros’ face is so Saeros!" Thanks! :-)

"And I love how Túrin is wearing an outfit that makes him look almost like a land-form merman! It sounds like the sort of thing he would do in his youth." Yes, he was given clothes made of scales that would last longer underwater than other kinds of cloth. It has the side benefit of keeping him from standing out so much from the merfolk appearance-wise.

"Evidently he changed clothes later… but was that after he met the pirates, or before? Did they know he had been raised by mermen?" I imagine he changed clothes as soon as he reached land, although that's one section of the AU that I haven't entirely settled on yet. But since in canon the Gaurwaith didn't know where he'd come from, I guess it would be best to leave their pirate counterparts ignorant as well. So the scale cloth will have to go; maybe he raided a clothesline in some human shoreline village before meeting the pirates. All the crew knows is that "Neithan" is an eerily good swimmer, especially when fully underwater, and they're all too afraid of him to ask him why.

"Oh, and if Beleg can get out of work by pretending to be dehydrated (I LOVE that comic!), can mer-people really get dehydrated or did he make up the entire concept?" This is 100% a thing that can happen. Merfolk die if they don't have access to any water for more than a couple of days. Heck, even real-world humans die after three days without access to water. The difference is that merfolk need to be able to get the water on their body in addition to drinking it. The quickest and healthiest solution for a mostly-land-dwelling merman or mermaid is the occasional full-body submersion (or, in a pinch, standing out in the rain for a while) to keep from literally drying out. Prisoners in Angband are given just enough water to keep them barely alive but constantly miserable. There are a lot of warning signs before they die, like the scales getting dull, the merman or mermaid getting progressively weaker and having trouble monitoring their method of breathing, and of course eventually unconsciousness.

"And does it play some role in his medical condition when Túrin finds him in the unfriendly clutches of his pirate crew?" Absolutely yes. It always bothered me that Tolkien told us that elves can go for a very long time without food or water, and then almost killed one of the oldest and strongest elves by tying him to a tree for a couple of days. I'm sure there's an explanation but it still seems inconsistent; so I "fixed" that in this version by having the pirates tie him to the mast and then ignore him. Algund "accidentally" spills a bucket of water on deck next to the mast on the second day, which is the main reason Beleg is able to make a quick and full recovery after Túrin gets back (and also the reason that any of the pirates are still alive five minutes after Túrin gets back).

Thank you so much for asking about this AU! It's still one of my favorites. Here's Túrin rescuing Beleg from the pirates except it's a meme.

#the man the myth the legends #three shinies #everyone deserved better except mîm #canon is great and all but what if #he's a pirate #my trash #sometimes i overthink stuff #don't mind me #yo somebody talked to me #/end classification tags #okay so there are a good number of reasons i've not been very active lately #but one of the dumber ones is i reeeeaaaaaally don't like the changes made to both the app and the browser version of tumblr #like what #all my formatting #i try to be so consistent #and tumblr is MOCKING ME #i don't want merch #i don't want a checkmark #i don't want to do tumblr live #i just want my curly quotes back :-( #anyway there are other reasons i've been so inactive lately but we don't need to get into them right now because this post is about pirates #and none of the reasons are about pirates #and here's the obligatory ''sorry i'm out of practice with art'' tag

[eclaire-went-bam]

i have a tendency to speak really funny (hi = salutations, good day, wonderful evening, howdy, greetings dearest associate, etcetc ; bye = so long, farewell, good-bye now [but like i'm speaking to a baby]) and i have no idea how much of it is influenced by autism and how much of it is influenced by (questioning) npd

#not art #autism #npd #on the plus side it feels really funny when my speech influences someone elses' #managed to get most my family to begin saying “farewell” #actually i think stuff like “howdy” is specifically an autism thing for sure #me and my special interest in the old west ............ #although the way i speak is definitely influenced by autism and i have sometimes tried to mask it for approval #i feel like at least some good amount of the time there's that “PLEASE notice how cool i am” #“i'm literally so cool. Start talking like me to prove how much i rub off on you” #or maybe i'm overthinking it oops

[lima--beanz]

im odd because im me but im not me. like. i want to be not me but i know im me but even though im me i dont think i am me. i love pretending im fictional characters because it's so mecore.

#i dont think this makes sense #its like i feel like my personality changes every so often #so i question myself #but i know at the end of the day it's just me so im overthinking it #but it changes sometimes where it's like i change my vocabulary too?? #i cant tell if it's an online persona thing but idk #this connects to my genderfluidity i think and why i cant pick a name for myself #also why i like some names more than others sometimes #it's not like a system i dont think #bc as i was overthinking i was like “huh this sounds like a multiple identity thing” #but then i was like nah i dont have any major traumas that would cause it #sorry for the rant i will get back to my stuff now

[anemoflower]

Wrio.thesley's voice-line when the sun is out "They say there's nothing new under the sun, but somehow a picnic in the warm sunshine never gets old."

Elowyn and Wrio picnic date confirmed!! <3

#;babbling phia #I'm sorry I'm feeling silly #I'm trying to think up headcanons and stuff to make this ship feel 'valid' for me #I know it is!! I'm thinking about it a lot so it is valid!! #but sometimes my overthinking is like ahah no

[seonghwasblr-moved]

I hate when people are like "this member is so quiet lately. Something must be wrong with them :(" like.. yeah, but have you considered they're human? Maybe they just have a bad day, maybe they have a headache, maybe they're tired. It doesn't always have to be deep, and even if it is, have you considered it's personal and not for you as a fan to know?

#maja talks #saw some comments about san in the newest ateez video #I haven't watched them yet lol #but I need people to stop overthinking every time an idol has a bad day #like they have bad days or periods sometimes #maybe they just don't feel like talking for some time and that's okay #if you wait a bit they're usually back to their normal selves a couple of videos later #*sideeyes blonde minho during half of that one comeback (i don't remember if it was maniac or case 143 or smth else lol)* #they pretty much always come back and even if they continue being different it's not for fans to know about probably #idols have personal stuff going on as well

[bllakcat]

feeling a little under the weather today, so i am going to be hiding in photoshop for the rest of today 🖤 take care everyone!! ✨

#⋄ ⊰ cat got your tongue? › ooc. ❜ #it is my overthinking brain that does this to me at leats monthly & we experienced a loss on my bf's side of family #because i know for a fact it is not true & i have so many amazing friends here - but sometimes i feel like i am bothering people by speakin #a lot - which causes me to draw back a little bit. & this is not because i expect people to respond immediately - god knows irl stuff alway #comes first!! &. i also take forever. but like said it is just my own mind playing tricks on me