#i'm mourning too.

[scorndotexe]

"i just want you to be who i know you can be" well what if i'm never like i once was. what if i can't get out bed one day. what if i'll never be as "smart" as i was when i was younger. what if my maximum possible effort turns into what my minimum possible effort was a few years ago. what if i just get worse and worse and worse. what if i can't get a job because of this. what if none of the solutions work. would you still care for me. would you still love me. would you understand that i'm disabled. would you understand that this is in fact a chronic illness that can't be cured easily or at all. would you understand that it all depends on luck. and i haven't been lucky. would you understand that i'll never be who i once was. who you thought i could be.

#i'm mourning too. #i'm mourning my life constantly. #but my mother doesn't understand that she's mourning. #yeah i know i was once smart and creative and. well i was never driven. but i was *more* #i was *more* #and now i've got this void of a future because i don't know what i'll be able to do. i'm getting worse. #my mother might love me unconditionally but i don't know if she'll ever be able to understand me #she does try. but at least we have something in common. #no matter how hard we try it'll never be enough. #persimmon's rambles

[hansoeii]

let time pass.

#and the tears come streaming down your face #when you lose something you can't replace #when you love someone but it goes to waste #could it be worse? #Light will guide you home and ignite your bones #and I will try to fix you #thank you tom hiddleston for making fix you the lokius anthem #I'm still in mourning over the loki finale and I had to make something to make myself feel a little better #I hope this can help you a little too #or make it worse #haha #wanted to try something new #loki #lokius #lokius fanart #loki fanart #loki and mobius #loki season 2 #loki season 2 fanart #loki mobius #loki laufeyson #loki god of stories #mobius m. mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #my art #fanart #digital art #lokius comic #loki comic

[arthursfuckinghat]

The worst part about playing rdr2 again is knowing who's going to die, how they're going to die, when they're going to die, and not be able to do a single thing about it

#sorry I'm just thinking about lenny and sean a lot #they're so full of life #sean is always cheering people up and talking about whatever nonsense he talks about #he fills the silence #lenny is always chirpy and keeping himself busy with reading but is always happy to talk #kieran too #he was always nice even when everyone was cruel to him or picking on him #he did chores and helped with the horses and did whatever he was told #and was grateful for it #nobody fucking noticed when he disappeared apart from mary beth #nobody got to mourn sean #but lenny and hosea both got what they wanted #they were buried with friends #I miss them so much its why I'm still on chapter two because everything's okay for now #micah is still in jail everyone's happy #its hard #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #lenny summers #sean macguire #kieran duffy #molly saying “I love you dutch” and getting a “thank you dear” in return makes my blood boil #oh molly

[dangerousdan-dan]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Cass’ journey as Batgirl (more specifically after losing her abilities) directly relates to her perspective as a martial artist.

I’m convinced that her choices wouldn’t have been the same if she weren’t a martial artist. The thing is, when you love fighting, and when you’re good at it, you become addicted to a lot of things. To winning, to discipline, to having absolute control over your body, to enduring pain for the sake of greatness. And as someone who, same as Cass, lost all of that without consent because of someone else, I totally understand why when given the choice to be “mediocre for a lifetime or perfect for a year,” she chose the latter.

That’s what training is, after all. Your legs shake and burn to get that stance just right, your knuckles bleed because you can’t afford to let the skin get soft, you practice that kick a hundred times because you can always make it faster, harder, smoother. In the back of your mind, you know that you’re dooming yourself to the aches of the future, but you keep going because the idea of not achieving perfection is worse.

When Batman tells her “it doesn’t matter how long it takes, what matters is that you give it everything you’ve got”, the most painful part is that she had already given everything. Cass gave her childhood, her happiness, her sweat and blood. When Cass lost her abilities, it was the equivalent of dismissing all the sacrifices that got her where she was, like saying none of it was worth it. She was the best because she had earned it. So, even if she tried to achieve that same greatness again, the I could’ve been more would’ve haunted her forever. She would’ve mourned that potential for the rest of her life.

Lady Shiva herself is a martial artist, and she was perfectly aware of what had been taken away from Cass and what offering it back would mean. Refusing her offer was never an option. The proof?

Just look how happy she is immediately after getting her abilities back. She doesn’t even care that she’s going to die.

She’s great again, she has agency over her body again.

Her sacrifices matter.

Batgirl (2000) #9

#maybe I'm projecting onto her a little too much #but truth be told I mourn what I could've been every day #(i cried a little writing this post not gonna lie) #I'm sure leaving that chance behind would've killed her #so it doesn't matter to her if fighting lady shiva means dying anyway as long as she gets her year of greatness #batgirl (2000) #cassandra cain #batman #lady shiva

[shima-draws]

Me: BRO. Can you imagine if Luffy activated Gear 5 2 years earlier at Marineford

AO3: Hey boo I gotchu

Me: AY-YO????

#One Piece #SO GLAD I'm not the only one who got this idea holy shit #Apparently Gear 5 Marineford is a Thing that is actually relatively popular #LOVE that for him tbh. And Ace. Bc he saves Ace with it lmao #Extra angst with Luffy actually dying first before his devil fruit slaps him back to life is also quite brilliant #Luffy's devil fruit squeezing his heart like a squeaky toy: NOT TODAY BITCH #His entire crew suddenly gets a sixth sense and they KNOW #They KNOW something is wrong and that Luffy. Something happened to their captain #But before they can mourn for too long they hear it. The DRUMS BABYYYYYYY #Normally they'd all be too far to hear them but they can :) And everyone around them is like. Uhh #The Strawhats: I can hear them. The drums #Everyone else: ??? What are you talking about are you losing it. You're probably losing it #I need to hold myself back from reading all these fics bc I actually. Gotta finish Marineford first LOL #Don't wanna spoil myself TOO much #Shima speaks

[happybird16]

It'd be really fun if we all came up with little bloopers for the AOT actor au. Like, who flubbed a line really hard and made the entire room laugh?

#i'm too sick to really think of any ideas at the moment #but i just think it'd be fun #and help with the mourning #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk

[mimimar]

page 1 of my ivy comic ✿

<characters  next page>

(prints)

#decided to post the individual pages here too since i realized i can do both this and post the full comic in a new post when it's done #i'm putting a lot of effort into every individual page so they all deserve their own post! #the plant meanings for this page are weeping willow (mourning) and lily of the valley (return to happiness) #please look forward to ivy and willow's story i promise it's a happy ending this time #willow wasn't going to jump or anything like that here but ivy doesn't know that so she was worried to see a person at the cliff anyway #ivy comic mimimar #taylor swift #ivy comic #wlw #sapphic #lesbian #wlw art #sapphic art #lesbian art #artists on tumblr #ivy #willow #oc

[nayruwu]

the year is 2028. seraph of the end chapter 183 just came out. guren and shinya finally reunite. they look like this

#TW: emotional #listen i'm so sorry but actually i'm not #i'm mourning my babygirls #what if this was my last straw. if i wait years for this scene and they just do not even look like themselves anymore what's the point #they're balding #at 16 apparently #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #i wasnt gonna put this is the tags because it's too mean but honestly. whatever #shinya hiiragi #guren ichinose

[badmoodbatflowers]

feel like pure shit just want her (thirteen) back x

#i KNOW i'm over a year late but i am in mourning okay #tried to watch the new specials but it's still a bit too owie oops #don't get me wrong i'm so excited for ncuti but #the thasmin brainrot isn't helping #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #mandip gill my beloved

[rangersbecket]

the cassius girlie experience

#cassius au bellona #light bringer #red rising #light bringer spoilers #cassius my best friend my babygirl my meow meow...i hope you're at peace bc i never will be #not to be too serious but i'm actually inconsolable lmao #and if i call in sick to work to mourn a fictional man? what then? #anyway it's fine i'm fine i'm normal! i'm so normal

[poetriarchy]

i wanna shake every single person on this website by the shoulders and scream IT'S AN EL NIÑO YEAR!!!!!!!!! IT'S AN EL NIÑO YEAR!!!!!!!! IT'S AN EL NIÑO YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#had to block that dystopian christmas post because it stresses me out too much lmao #like i know climate change i'm not ignoring it. i understand climate change. i am an environmental science major #but there are far more 'dystopian' things happening right now than christmas weather being different this year because of #a well-acknowledged random global weather phenomenon #we will have the rest of our lives to stress out and mourn the climate. #there are plenty of things attributable to climate change to mourn right now. #el niño is not one of them #a

[aaapplepie]

so I was going through Elowen's introduction again for research purposes and also bc I love her and I noticed

she specifically says she's been looking for Sage for three years. assuming she wasn't just like, hanging out for two years before she decided to go hunt him down, that suggests either a) no one was sure who killed Lucan and it took them a while to figure it out or b) she didn't hear about Lucan's death until two years after it happened.

(I'm leaning towards b because it's angstier because she recognizes signs of corruption in Sage but gets completely blindsided by Lucan's transformation, so it's possible she wasn't around to notice what was happening to him.)

it's just a theory but can you fucking imagine. her baby brother was dead for two years and she just didn't know, and she finally tracks down his killer but instead of finally getting justice she learns he was corrupted the whole time and she didn't know about that either!! I'm going insane. someone get her a blanket or something.

#last legacy #there's a good chance it was just a mistake and nobody caught it #(or that I've somehow got the timeline incredibly wrong) #but if there's a chance to read too deep into something and make myself sad I'm going to take it!! #she also might have been around the whole time and STILL not noticed the corruption which would also be. rough #esp since she seems to have at least some knowledge about it #and maybe could have done something to help and/or stop him #anyway the point of this post is that elowen is having a bad time #mourning her brother for 3-5 years and suddenly he's like a complete stranger and did she ever know him at all??? #what else did she miss #it's almost 1 am and I'm so normal about her #apple.txt

[idleorbitals]

sand, ray, and destruction

**let's get this straight I'm an apologist for no one they're all messed up...also I love the tableau of messed up characters we've got in this show and I'm actually an apologist for every single one of them**

let's start at the pool table. ray and sand's scenes together so far have had plenty of sexual and emotional tension, but very little narrative/dramatic tension. up until this scene, which is loaded from jump. ray walks in on guard. sand has put his walls firmly back where they were. their whole conversation is a sparring match, and not the kind we're used to from them. for once, sand is the one with an agenda, one that ray clearly senses and is wary of.

sand's big move in this scene is to expose top's dalliance with boston to ray. (insert moment of silence for the hilarity of ray recognizing his two latest frenemies via a few seconds of their sex moans. jfc this tape is getting around.) then sand makes more explicit the motivation he has been suggesting for himself the whole time: I just don't want a good guy like mew to get fooled by top. mew is lucky though, to have you by his side.

the last bit of this is a dig, and it's one ray recognizes as such. look at his face here. he knows he's being played, even if sand's game isn't entirely clear to him yet. but he's still going to take the bait, because he's exactly as reactive as sand is betting on. actually, a whole lot more reactive than sand is betting on, I'd wager

so what are sand's motivations? revenge on top, sure. but I'd put money on ray being included in this particular hurt. if my read is right here, sand is still stinging from the other night, and is trying to distance himself from his feelings for ray in favor of a little light emotional demolition. sand's brand of destruction here is calculated, to a point. far less calculated than what we'll see from mew not long from now; far more calculated than what we'll see from ray.

ray, who, reliably, gets himself drunk, high, and furious at p'yo's and proceeds to lash out at everyone he has the words to hurt. ray's brand of destruction is violent and total, and bears more than a passing resemblance to self-harm.

on a rewatch of these scenes sand comes out way less shiny and victim-coded to my eye than he did the first time through. it's ray that's doing the harm here, but look at sand's positioning: he's standing just behind ray for most of his breakdown, in frame or just out of it, intervening only to a limited extent. the only time he speaks up is to protect nick, and in return he gets an earful of humiliation and abuse from ray.

sand is taking some punches here and is duly hurt, but more than anything else I read fear and guilt here as it dawns on him how far ray is going to take things.

outside we get one of the dreaded fight scenes we knew was coming, and like so many other scenes from the trailer it's changed by its context. can you stop thinking about mew and focus on me for once? you really can't see that I care about you? hits different when sand has just helped to facilitate one of the worst moments we've seen ray have so far. we see this dissonance on ray's face as he shoves sand and screams at him through tears. why would you poke your nose in my business? what are we to each other? aren't entirely rhetorical questions. ray isn't just venting his hurt toward a convenient vessel; he's feeling (not unreasonably!) manipulated and disoriented.

whatever his role, sand doesn't deserve the things ray is saying and doing to him in this scene. but honestly, again sand is reading to me as less worried about his own feelings here than he is about the bomb whose fuse he just helped light getting behind the wheel stumbling drunk.

we leave sand breathing unsteadily as he pulls himself up from where ray's flung him to the ground and jumps onto his bike to pursue him. from the previews, it looks like they're both going to be guilting their way back into each other's good graces next week. our surprisingly nontoxic raysand is Over, friends. it's mess here on out ✨

(all ofts watch throughs)

#ofts #only friends the series #ofts meta #raysand #sandray #firstkhaotung #ohhhhh this one hurt #but I have...sort of...been waiting for the mess to come for them #and even though i'm gonna mourn a little #i can't say i'm entirely disappointed #i really wanted to talk about mew here too but you know #part 2 maybe

[sunnydayaoe]

#undertale au #utmv #dreamtale #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #nightterror #nightterror sans #daydream #daydream sans #<- what I'm calling my little offshoot guys #jbird's art #wings #finished art #these two make me So ILL #wings are Super inaccurate #they would be dove [mourning dove] but ghghg aweful shape they're in #and Nooooo 10 primaries 10 secondaries [they're suposed to have 12 secondaries ghghghghg. it got to messy though so. yepppers] #[Feel free to Ask about this I will talk about it for ever an ever and ever] #spent. too much time on this [8 hours??? ew ew ewwwww] #pigeon-dreams #my offshoots name :)

[autisticdisasterlesbian]

when the token gay dies, it's bury your gays

when one of many gays dies it's called a tragic narrative

hope this helps

#like i'm mourning izzie too #but we need complex imperfect queer centered stories #and that includes tragedy #we need queer horror and queer tragedy and queer comedy and queer everything #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers

[a-s-levynn]

"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20

#a series of small offerings #sleep token fanart #elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think #(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one) #(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons) #i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line #specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead #i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there #so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning' #(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain) #which is also exactly how the song feels to me #being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris' #specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after #if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about #and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning' #vessel i #vessel #vessel sleep token #vessel fanart #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to draw #sleep token #edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it #and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways #edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events #see comments for referrence pls #also edited this post to the correct lyrics #but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think