#i'm basically narrating what happens in the story

[hua-fei-hua]

also i love unreliable narrators a normal amount

#been reading 'the basic eight' which is the debut novel of the guy who wrote asoue and is smth i've been wanting to read #for a while now for 1. being an epistolary novel 2. a satire 3. set in high school and 4. having an unreliable narrator #and it's sooooo fun trying to figure out where the cracks in flannery's story are and what she's trying to make look like the truth #and also the parallels btwn certain characters' relationships is fucking riveting #the book was published in 1999 so the story takes place in the 90s so every so often i'm taken out of the narrative by that #at least twice-- once when they didn't mention 9/11 when having a dinner party on sept 11th (and then i was like 'OHHHHHH. RIGHT.') #(lol consequence of being born in 2001) #and another time when flannery mentioned being able to figure out the time by looking in an almanac for that day's dawn time #and for a moment i was like 'huh? but you could just google--RIGHT.' and never have i ever been more acutely aware #of my own blind spots and assumptions and the tech i take for granted bc i grew up with it and it's kinda awesome actually #and you can get the sense that the writing is dense w/meaning in the same way asoue was also dense with meaning #packed with classical references and lines that seem throwaway and then come back again later like AAAA #i love the way flannery's obvious unreliability makes you actively think abt everything presented in the novel as you're reading it #i love how you can never quite tell what's being presented as unedited journal and what's being rewritten in the future #and perhaps i'm easier to fool about this bc i write in my diary in a similar manner where it feels like it has narrative structure #but i also try to be completely honest about who said what and when and so when flan the narrator does deliberately remind us #that she's editing this in post and ofc that couldn't have happened in the moment i'm like 'oh! right!' #anyway yeah just love it bc it feels like an extremely engaging read; it's like a pumpkin full of meat for my enrichment #花話

[prokopetz]

Did you have a post a long ways back that posited like... Four perspectives on the relationship between a player and their character in TTRPGs? Neither Tumblr nor Google have been helpful and I'm not even sure if it was you or I'm grossly misremembering. (I was trying to put thoughts together about approaching character design and creation and I wanted to do some reading before I made claims I felt were baseless.)

It's something I've discussed in a number of posts, yeah. This isn't meant to be exhaustive by any means, but the basic taxonomy I use when bashing games together is as follows:

1. I am my character. My character knows what I know, and does whatever I myself would do under those circumstances, if I happened to be an elf wizard (or what have you).

2. I am an actor playing the role of my character. My character does whatever seems best to them, according to my understanding of their motivations and the information available to them (which may differ from the information available to me as a player).

3. I am a narrator writing a story about my character. My character does whatever would produce the most engaging narrative.

4. I am playing a game, and my character is my playing piece. My character does whatever scores the most points.

Most games have particular assumptions about which of these stances its players will adopt baked into their rules, and some design patterns may in fact require players to adopt a particular stance; for example, Fate Core’s Fate Point economy really only makes sense in the context of a player-as-narrator stance, because gaining and spending Fate Points as a player doesn’t correspond to anything that exists from an in-character perspective. A game’s rules may, however, support multiple stances, or even encode assumptions that players will switch between different stances in different parts of play.

These distinctions are a big part of why folks in the tabletop roleplaying hobby have been arguing about what “metagaming” is for half a century without ever coming close to a working definition: there is no such thing as “metagaming” in the abstract. Metagaming is simply any at-the-table behaviour that transgresses the boundaries of whatever stance(s) toward one’s character a particular game or group has agreed are appropriate. Metagaming for an I-am-an-actor-playing-the-role-of-my-character stance looks absolutely nothing like metagaming for an I-am-my-character stance, and so forth.

Is there any particular part of this you wanted me to expand on?

#gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop rpgs #game design

[therabbitthatpostthings]

Okay let's talk about Reality in Welcome Home.

YES THIS IS JUST ME RAMBLING AGAIN BUT I SWEAR I HAVE A POINT TO MAKE. This is more of my collecting my thoughts and trying to make sense of what we have right now.

TLDR: The reality of Welcome Home is separated by the "fourth wall" that the characters are not aware of except for few.

So ever since the first update after the website launched I have been wondering about where the reality shift lies in Welcome Home. How can this be a haunted puppet show with no notable names for actors, production crew, puppeteers, etc. I was basically trying to figure out if this was Hello Puppets or My Friendly Neighbourhood kind of situation. Especially after Sally's Halloween Story, it came ever more clear that they are not fully aware of the fact that people are filming them.

This past update has somewhat solidified what I think is happening. The Welcome Home Puppet show exist in it's own version of reality literally separated by the fourth wall. The neighbours are completely unaware that they are puppets, being filmed, etc. The idea that a magic narrator can talk to them is normal (as it is in many children's cartoons, the Narrator from The Powerpuff Girls and The Storyteller from Into the Woods comes to mind). This really all comes together for me alongside the theory that some of the neighbours are self-aware. I'm not gonna argue who is and who isn't but I don believe the Neighbours featured in promotional material that directly speaks to the viewers or anything outside the show are aware.

(Note: It would be a big stretch to say the things like the TV and radio apprenticed were staged or faked by the Welcome Home Crew)

I think the ones most aware are Wally, Barnaby, Frank and Howdy. Everyone else is rather slowly becoming aware or going through the motions like Eddie. Wally and Barnaby are self-explanatory, they are closest to Home and the Narrator(s). Frank by the way of the Bug Theory and the fact that he "breaks script" to comfort Eddie. Howdy is because I cannot think of a way that he would participate in those commercials without knowing somehow. If Home really is antagonistic towards the Neighbours, I can believe they would act in line. Also during Eddie's panic attack, he doesn't move ever after expresses him desire to leave, because he can't move. He's a puppet. It's worth noting that everyone else has a puppeteer accept Wally and Home. Wally has a handler and Home's eyes are the only thing on it that can move via a crank on the side of it not showing to the camera.

I believe the cartoon reality is the one that the puppets see and why in all of Wally's answer videos we see it in IRL footage. He is not blind to what the show is doing. Eddie's panic attack shows up that what they see and we see are very different. This isn't like a foolproof way of thinking because it leaves a lot of holes but most of those holes have to do with things I believe will be answered later. Like:

What exactly is Home and the power Home has over the Neighbours?

Why did the show shut down?

The benefactor sending the packages

Why is Wally the one that remains? Where are the others?

Why were we able to see what Eddie and Wally sees outside of the reality they exist in?

etc.

Thats last point is still up in the air for me because that easier could of been a storyteller point but the fact that Welcome Home narrator and logo pops up at the end of the Homewarming Special alludes that everything Eddie went through we saw. Or at least it was filmed and probably cut out of the official broadcast.

I don't have any answers. What we do know now is that the show shut down, someone is still present and sending packages to the WHRP and Playfellow. This mysterious black goop has the power to influence those in contact with it, even causing loss of time. The WHRP went through an investigation internally and in the website. W is a part of the website and actively doing their own investigation after "supposedly" making contact with Wally in the post-halloween/pre-March 9th update (which you can see btw on the Wayback Machine). Wally, regardless if he is the one sending the packages, is using them to communicate. He wants someone to find him because he KNOWS we are watching and we are looking for him.

Personally I believe Home or whatever entity is controlling it, is sending the packages and trying to control others. I think Wally is a by product of all this and is trying to find his way out by any means necessary. I will never let my "Wally did nothing wrong" propaganda go.

This all btw does nothing to answer the mystery on the website. I have no idea how this reality breaking allowed Wally yo infiltrate the website. The fact that his eyes are no longer visible on the page means he's not here watching us (for now). Also the "You" character description is missing. As far as the Bug theory goes, I still believe that is Frank trying to give us more insight on what happened/happening. Same goes for W, who we know is human since they described the same events of the phone ringing and hearing Wally that the curator did. I don't believe this is Wally vs the Neighbours. I think this is the neighbours being physically or metaphorically trapped while not able to reach Wally they can reach this website and are doing the same as Wally, reaching out to us. I still believe Home/Entity has some control over them and is connected to who is sending the packages and infecting the WHRP and Playfellow. W is also apart of WHRP but has taken notice to everything going around and is choosing to document their findings since the WHRP is starting to run a tighter ship after the last slip up of W (probably) contacting Wally.

Hopefully this made sense to you guys...

#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home puppet show #clownillustrations #partycoffin #welcome home eddie #Eddie dear #frank frankly #welcome home frank #welcome home barnaby #welcome home wally #wally darling #welcome home w #welcome home theory

[disabledunitypunk]

I am once again thinking about the term "suicide survivors". How it's a term that rightfully belongs to those that lived through a suicide attempt, that literally survived suicide. How instead it means those that lived through someone else's death. How it neans "surviving" in only the archaic use 'survived by" used in obituaries. How suicide "survivors" lived through something that was never going to kill them, that was never even a threat to their life.

How we are only ever a footnote in the stories of others. We're a tragedy that happens to people, a cautionary tale if we die and inspiration porn if we live. How, forever long we do live, we were suicidal, past tense, because it makes people too uncomfortable too acknowledge that suicidality is chronic (whether pathological or environmental).

How everyone wants to do suicide prevention but no one wants to acknowledge the people at the center of it. How it's never actually about our needs - or even about our safety, really. It doesn't matter what trauma or pain we must endure - they'll have us live if it kills us. Never mind social programs to give us housing, food, security, to make us want to live - it's our responsibility to find someone to tell us it's all in our heads and we need meds to fix us, because it's CRAZY to want to die. Make sure the hotlines can all call the cops if we don't comply.

Don't we know how selfish it is to want to not be in pain and be so desperate that we're willing to die for it? Don't we know how selfish it is to not have any access to the things we need to survive? Don't we know that suicidal depression is really our duty to get over, because obviously if we don't take meds that don't work or that make us sick, if we don't submit to medical gaslighting, if we don't "try" to recover, it's not like it's an illness or a disability! It's selfishness, a character flaw.

Don't we know that we're the selfish ones, when they make our struggling, our illness, our deaths, about us and not them?

It's sanism at its most basic. We're not reliable narrators of our own experiences. We're not the main characters of even our own stories. We're there to be a single pretty tear rolling down the cheek of our loved ones. We're tragedy-as-an-object, as an object lesson. "Make sure you pick yourself up by your bootstraps seek help so you don't become an inconvenience for us hurt your loved ones." Even STILL the focus is not on the harm done to yourself, except as a moral failure in that it harms the healthy people around you.

Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I don't ever want someone to call themselves a "suicide survivor" again who means it not as "I've survived BEING suicidal" but as "I lived through someone else being in so much pain that they took their own life over it". Not when there still exist people that have survived attempts or are actively suicidal. This is our narrative, not one for you to center yourselves in.

I will not go so far as to say your grief is selfish. That would be cruel. But your grief IS about someone else. This is still THEIR story.

It is likewise the same pain, the same trauma, and the same ableism and sanism we face over it, for those of us who have actually survived it, more than it is that of those who have never stood on that edge. It is the same decentering of our own stories when we go through the exact same thing.

It is the same surviving another day of being suicidal, another attempt, and hearing people who have either never been suicidal or simply are not talking about their own survivorship of suicidality, have the audacity to call themselves survivors of something that they never survived. To take something that KILLED someone they love and claim to be survivors of it.

Cancer survivors had cancer. Automobile collision survivors were in collisions. Survivors of critical illnesses or disabling/severe injuries lived through those illnesses or injuries affecting THEIR lives. But suddenly when a deadly chronic illness kills someone, in this one case, the survivors are the ones who watched someone die of it?

Nah. This isn't a mass threat like a shooting or a pandemic, where your life was ever in danger. You're not the survivor. Your grief is valid, and there absolutely needs to be times and places where being a GRIEF survivor is centered, where your healing and well-being is focused on.

But let those of us who we so sick we nearly died for it, or DID die from it, be the center of THAT story.

Dead men tell no tales, so at least have the grace to let the echoes of our voices remain, unspoken over. And for gods' sakes, remember that there are people that DID make it through alive, that we're still talking, that our voices are most important in a conversation about OUR potentially deadly illnesses.

We're still here telling our own tales.

#cw suicide #suicide #suicide survivor #sanism #ableism #psychiatric neglect #psychiatric abuse #anti psych #anti psychiatry #forced recovery

[cobragardens]

Red & Yellow Can Hurt a Fellow:

Color Symbolism in 1941 (Part 1)

(Plus Bonus Sundry 1941 Observations)

"Nazi Zombie Flesheaters" is such an interesting title, isn't it? You don't need to say flesheaters if you've already got zombie: it's redundant. It's like the title was chosen by someone unfamiliar with very basic zombie tropes. Also fwiw "Nazi zombie" is an anachronism: zombies did not exist in the popular consciousness before George Romero's Night of the Living Dead in 1968. I feel like maybe an angel titled this minisode. There is evidence both that the Metatron fucks with the story and that the flashbacks are Aziraphale's memories, so my guess is it's one of them.

***

In "The Colors of Crowley" I make an effort to evidence that crimson red is both the the color that symbolizes Crowley to Crowley and also the color that symbolizes passionate romantic love.

In light of that, here is this tiny beautiful moment:

As they did to each other in 1793, Crowley is sending a message here to Aziraphale with his clothes, so let us dwell on it.

Crowley's tie has Aziraphale's colors on it--white and blue-- in a design that connects two points (through a larger, dark point between them), one above and one below.

And Crowley opens his jacket with a flourish and shows Aziraphale the tie.

So first we we get this beautiful gesture of opening a covering and exposing a hidden, brighter, truer self beneath it, along with the metaphorical implications of exposing the heart and the guts, the snake showing its vulnerable red belly. Then the tie says, I like you. I'm wearing your colors. I want to be connected to you. And Crowley doesn't just display that message by opening his jacket, he then calls attention to it by straightening the tie.

Aziraphale gives no outward sign he has received this message. But.

There is so much red in this bookshop tonight.

The bookshop structure is brown and tan, with bright yellow in the back rooms (just as Aziraphale always has fear in the back rooms of his mind). But in this flashback there's a red carpet on the steps in front of the door, a red carpet on the floor in front of that, a display of red books on the circular tiered stand, a pile of red books in the corner, more red books on the windowsill behind Crowley's head, and the red velvet chair that Crowley's sitting on.

Here's the other side of that room, i.e., what Crowley is facing:

The walls of the bookshop are, again, brown and tan, but there's a red rug, red brocade on the front panel of the cashier's table, two red-upholstered chairs, and a red-stained chest of drawers Aziraphale is mostly blocking, plus another red thing in the right corner behind the stepladder that I can't even identify but that looks like the same velvet as the chairs. That's a determined effort to cram in as much red into a brown space as possible without actually taking a paintbrush to anything.

There are other metas showing how Aziraphale takes pains to make the bookshop into a welcoming place for Crowley [link if I find them again]. Just as likely imo his love of red and gold in soft furnishings is to remind himself of Crowley because they don't get to see each other very often.

But the books Aziraphale would be constantly rearranging, and buying more of, and possibly even occasionally selling when it can't be avoided; and bibliophiles do not generally organize their books by color. I therefore suggest two things are happening simultaneously here: on the Doylean (authorial) level, the set dressers are using the red notes in these backgrounds to symbolize the passionate romantic love Aziraphale has just realized he feels for Crowley; on the Watsonian (intra-story narrator) level, Aziraphale's feelings are "coloring" his memories.

This red as symbolic of Aziraphale's feelings for Crowley is not subtle. It starts immediately after his epiphany about those feelings--I mean literal sparks fly--

--and it does. not. let. up.

Note the other colors in the (brick red) dressing room besides red: blue, white, and off-white, Aziraphale's colors. There are even white and off-white feathers, indicating these are the angel's feelings we're being shown.

Brief digression. I've listened to this line several times now and for the life of me can't hear the final -s. I suspect Crowley may in fact say "Chalk up a win for the side of the angel," i.e., Aziraphale, which definitely makes Aziraphale's reaction of giddy delight track well, but I don't have a decent pair of headphones, so if someone would be willing to verify whether I've caught a Moment or just have romance on the brain, I'd be very grateful. [Update: I've got one confirmation so far that Crowley says "angels."]

Anyway. Note the splashes of blue and off-white surrounding Crowley, indicating all this red (he's sitting on a red velvet chaise btw) continues to be linked to Aziraphale's feelings for him. This whole narrative is drenched in Aziraphale's passionate romantic love.

Until this moment:

Now something really interesting happens. For the first time in the scene (I went back and checked), a bright spot of canary yellow suddenly becomes visible in the frame.

It's a jar of ostrich feathers, dyed bright yellow, on one of the dressing tables. How do we know it's meant to represent fear?

Because it already has done.

And remember how yellow is specifically fear of the head offices?

Look who shows up.

Now suddenly the camera shoots Aziraphale from a different angle, and yellow appears in the frame here, too--more fear.

The yellow feathers remain visible between Aziraphale and Furfur for the remainder of the scene.

So that's one gif and 18 stills I've shown you thus far in this essay about how the use of red in and yellow in this minisode is consistent with the use of red and yellow throughout Show Omens and is being used in a symbolically meaningful way, right? I mean they come down pretty hard on it.

So it's very interesting, in terms of colors, how the minisode ends.

Which I will talk about in Part 2!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 1941 #good omens meta #good omens color symbolism 1941 #furfur #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

[zooliminology]

Update/What's in the Future

[Hey guys, you probably have noticed that this is going to be likely the longest dry spell of real Zoolim content in a while. I apologize for this. Life has gotten in the way of a lot of things.

-I'm an art student in college, and last semester I didn't take any art classes so I was basically free to do whatever, but this semester I've taken three studio art classes, which are all very intensive and in honesty I would not recommend it! If you're a studio art student stick to 1-2 studio art classes a semester so you don't go insane please! I'm currently absolutely SWAMPED with work right now. -The Golbo video and the video that is imminently due this Tuesday (that i am writing this post about instead of working on) are the results of my New Media class. Considering the ten thousand million fucking art assets I have to draw for these it's been very time consuming (still want to do it though.) -A lot of life things have happened to me recently, not to be super personal but a family member of mine is sick and my living conditions are not the absolute Best, so it's been taking a heavy toll on my health.

All of these combined, especially the studio classes part because I've been bled dry of creativity energy relating to zoolim basically, has caused this dry spell basically. My hopes are that after the semester ends (which is soon) I'll be able to work on things more. I feel bad about not working on it more but I have to draw things other than zoolim to literally stay sane because it's a lot.

So I guess that leaves us with one question: what's in the future?

Well, a lot of things... maybe? I'm a little dry on entity ideas right now but i have a few, and I'd like to revisit some entities more and expand on them. And while I enjoy the videos and the non-entry ideas I have for material, I would also like to continue the 'traditional' paintings and entries. So I hope I can work on that alongside other things! I also have more ideas for videos, but considering how I have to do nearly all of the work, aside from the narration (thanks Darvinos) any video production will likely slow down dramatically after the semester is over. Until my next New Media class at least, but IDK if it will let me make the same shit.

I also have some deeper lore and a story semi-figured out, along with characters (you ever wonder who's taking the pictures? not the same person who's writing the captions!!!) but they would be hard to implement in this tumblr blog organically, so maybe they'll show up in some videos. I've thought of asking more people for help for this purpose, though I'd need to work out completely how that would work, and the moment that zoolim becomes more than some backrooms world i work on mostly by myself will become scary.

Sorry that this post is a big ramble, I hope yall understand and I swear the Longlegs video will come out pretty soon, it will be worked on again right after I post this lol. But please take care, and thank you for all the support you've shown me so far. It truly does mean a lot to me. I've said it several times but I'll say it again, I never imagined this shitty little art project about weird goobers in the backrooms would get so much attention lol.

ok end of post]

#ooc #zooliminology #update

[magic-is-something-we-create]

- BETA READERS WANTED -

Do you like Grimdark Fantasy? How about Horror? Noir? All of the above? Do you want to watch fictional women dole out incredible violence as their lives get worse, and still find hope in the world? Are you a sucker for enemies-to-lovers, especially of the kind that's convoluted and messy in their emotional attachment? Have you been yearning for more disabled and/or trans protagonists in your life?

Do you want a story where love corrupts instead of redeems?

Do you want to read a tragedy that was inescapable long before the story began?

My novel Whispers is in need of some beta readers!

Marika Swiftfoot has hidden from the Shadow of Fowden for ten years, but ten years isn’t a life complete.

She has a debt to pay, and the Whispers have finally come to collect. And once again, she is ripped away from everything she calls home as the result of a poor choice she made years ago, when she didn’t know what would come.

But she will not go to Fowden without a fight.

And she swears the man who brings her there will die by her hand, no matter how much she once loved him.

Lorelei, too, is steeped in the regrets of her past, for she is known by three names: Softheart. Witmouth. Vowbreaker.

She wants to earn Hopebringer before her legs give out for good.

But first, she needs to find out what happened to her little sister. First, she needs to find the man who has disappeared just as untraceably, thirty years later.

First, she needs to end the Shadow of Fowden.

For she is not her father; she does not break her vows.

Content warnings, beta reading details, and sign up are below the cut!

Boosts are appreciated!

Important basics:

- It's 172,000 words, or about 750 pages.

- First-person, dual POV narration. Most of it is present-tense, but one POV features frequent past-tense flashbacks.

- The target audience is Adult. It dives headfirst into a plethora of dark topics, and reader discretion is advised.

- The main critique focus is on plot effectiveness and points of potential confusion. I'm especially looking for whether the twists are too predictable/too unexpected, and whether the ending is satisfying. If you won't have time to read all of it, please don't sign up.

- The hard deadline for critique completion is July 1st, 2024. The document will be sent out on January 10th at the latest.

RECURRING CONTENT WARNINGS

Body horror, gore, violence, and death. Emotional abuse. Transphobia and sexual assault. Harm to children and implied child death. Police brutality. Ableism and physical abuse. Fire.

STILL INTERESTED? You can sign up to be a beta reader here!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #original fiction #beta reader #beta reader wanted #fantasy fiction #dark fantasy #fantasy #horror #mystery

[faelapis]

pmmm rebellion: the flower scene

*inhales*

i like pmmm rebellion. a lot. i'd go so far as to say it’s one of my favorite movies. but i've never liked the interpretation from some, of this scene. the flower scene. essentially, the idea is that homura was right in how madoka was "miserable" as a god. because madoka "agreed with her" in the flower scene.

as a baseline, i will say right off the bat that i think pmmm is a franchise where you can never fully escape tragedy. i think any ending to this story will be bittersweet, and there is a certain amount of sacrifice and misery inherent in its very concept.

that being said. i don't think madoka becoming a god was as tragic as homura makes it out to be. i don't think its just a hero sacrificing herself for the greater good. i think it's more. and i think this scene, as much as it is a conversation, is also an act of self-delusion.

this one-note interpretation of madoka as a tragic sacrifice (in how she herself feels) is ignoring... well. the context of the whole series. which homura herself is also ignoring. by which i mean, she was a quite the unreliable narrator in how she described the sacrifice / miracle madoka would go on to perform.

for the record, i think there is something both selfish and selfless to homura. i think she genuinely believes she is helping madoka. and i think homura thinks that's all she wants. this is not an attempt to slander her - but more about how i think she has an incomplete understanding of madoka, and what madoka wants in life.

basically, i'm not trying to argue here that madoka's sacrifice is just good "for the world." obviously, it is. we already know that. what i'm trying to argue is that i think it - in some ways - is also good for madoka herself. not in an uncomplicated way, but that its not all bad. that she gets something out of being this godlike being. at the very least, i think it is better for madoka than the world homura creates.

okay. so. flower scene. homura pretty vaguely just says “you’re going to be separated from everyone you love." which, on its own, is pretty sad. she mentions that there's something "only (madoka) can do". and that madoka, being selfless, would do this because she feels she has to. that it is a tragedy.

what homura doesn't mention is madoka becoming this godlike, conceptual being who is everywhere at all times. which is a pretty big fucking thing to leave out. homura might as well have said “you’re going to be separate from ME, and that’s going to make ME sad” for how honest she was about the context of the situation.

in short, homura is framing the situation as tragically as possible because she wants madoka to say what she wants to hear. she wants to be told that it was miserable. because homura was miserable.

essentially, what homura says will happen: you'll be away from everyone forever. it will accomplish ~something~, but i will not tell you what. it will make me very sad. please comfort me. (which madoka does, because of course. lest we forget part of what she says is she would never want to make someone as strong as homura sad.)

what actually happens: you will have the power to save every magical girl from suffering. you will become a conceptual god, which will remove you from your human life. but you will also be with every magical girl, always, and give them comfort. you will not only have your own agency, but make sure that the wishes of magical girls everywhere MATTER and don't end in despair. including your own. even when you would become a witch and despair, you will save yourself. and when i die, i will be with you as well.

i think by framing it this way, homura IS being honest about how it "felt" to her. but homura also misunderstands what madoka wants.

first of all, madoka's life as a regular human... well, i'm not going to say it was unhappy. but i think it was unfulfilled. i think madoka was an insecure girl without much sense of what she wanted in life. and it was also ignorant. ignorant of the pain of the world, of the suffering that other magical girls had gone through. it was privileged, but it was also, in this way, empty.

madoka’s self-actualization (in the series) has a lot to do with helplessness vs being able to make a difference. in short, she wants agency. what her wish does is give her that agency, which she trades for her life as a normal human.

what homura’s wish does is the reverse. it’s giving madoka her humanity back, but in return, she no longer has agency. she doesn’t get to do the self-actualization of becoming someone with the power to help others. she is, in that sense, suppressed.

so. like. yes, THAT “regular magical girl who knows zero context of her own character arc” version of madoka? of COURSE she doesn’t want to leave everyone behind. big duh. she isn’t told what it would accomplish (in any specific terms), she isnt aware of how it would create a version of herself with the power to change the world. nor is she acquainted with the non-magical girl version of her in the pmmm series, who had no agency at all until she chose to become a god.

in the series, that is not a moment of despair for madoka. that is when she finds hope. that is when she attains a world where she can give rest to all magical girls. and give herself a reason to fight. that hope and determination carries her, and she is with it forever.

it’s also worth noting, rebellion!madoka's not just saying it would make her sad. she is also doubting herself. she's saying she is far “too spineless” to do it. how she's this weak, helpless person who would never be able to leave people for a greater calling.

putting aside how she’s not really gone / at least exists in this abstract way - she is also demonstrating how she doesn't believe in herself. so even this "happy" magical girl version of madoka still has some of the helpless insecurity of her series counterpart. she may live a relatively peaceful life, but she is not fulfilled. she lacks the purpose, determination and hope of her series counterpart.

in other words, even this version of madoka needs to self-actualize. and part of her knows that. in homura's "happy" new realm, madoka "feels wrong." she seems shy and insecure. ill at ease. uncomfortable. like she's at the start of her arc, not the end. yet the godlike power within her refuses to be erased. it can only be held back. for now.

in a way, i see homura trapping madoka a bit like the symbolism of not letting someone grow up. sure, adulthood might not be as "simple and happy" as childhood, but it also gives you knowledge and agency in life. it allows you to learn & grow, understand the world as it is, make educated choices in who you want to be, and become that best version of yourself. THAT is what madoka is denied. that is how she feels wrong in this “happy” illusion realm that homura creates.

also. god madoka would definitely be a lot happier if she could be with homura in heaven and have the ability to save her lol.

but there's a problem with that, for homura. and that problem is, that would give madoka the agency in the situation, and leave homura the passive receiver of blessings. which is at odds with homura’s own desire for control. like madoka, she wants to not be helpless and have the ability to affect the story. after all, she did fail to stop madoka in the series. i think homura wants some of that agency, too. hence the imagery of her soul gem going from a pawn to a queen.

essentially, i see this as a conflict between two sides who want to be in charge of their own destinies. they've been stripped of their agency by the world, and they want to have it back - no matter what it would cost. this is what they have in common.

when homura refused to join madoka in "magical girl heaven", she was ultimately refusing happiness for the sake of agency. for the sake of being able to be "madoka's hero." that's what she always wanted to be, and failed to be in the original series.

tl;dr: there is something tragic in madoka's wish. for sure. but i think it gives madoka agency in the world, which she always wanted. i think being able to help others can be genuinely fulfilling for the individual, rather than just a sacrifice. it’s empowering, as much as it is the loss of old self. and i think homura wants to feel like that kind of hero, too - no matter what. they both do.

*exhales*

#pmmm #madoka kaname #homura akemi #madoka #puella magi madoka magica #not su / #long post / #for the record we all agree that in an ideal world none of this would fall on the shoulders of middle schoolers #but that’s not why these stories are written #in madoka as with any young anime protagonist it has as much to do with the world of being the burdened protagonist 14 yr olds want to see #and to the symbolic fears dangers and perils that come with being 14. learning about the world and shedding childhoods naïveté etc

[ladymelisande]

Honestly, I can't imagine going and writing a piece of media that is basically Unreliable Narrator: The Series, and having a fandom that childishly insists that the narrators can't be unreliable.

How is Louis an unreliable narrator?

Daniel calls him out about blatantly lying multiple times and he does correct himself.

What Louis says sometimes doesn't match what we are shown on screen.

What he says doesn't match previous versions.

What he says is contested by other accounts.

He is extremely biased towards painting Claudia as innocent and justified as possible and he is called out on that, multiple times.

How is Claudia an unreliable narrator?

Her testimony is written and we don't have other people to corroborate what was solely in her POV.

She was extremely biased in her accounts and had a black and white thinking.

They are, by definition, unreliable narrators, but is not only that but making Louis and Claudia completely truthful basically strips Louis from a true character arc. Louis is literally covering his ears and singing LALALALALALA about Claudia and his own failings as a father and that is shown on screen multiple times.

The thing about Louis in the second part of IWTV is that he had to confront that he had misjudged Lestat and that his passivity had led to Claudia's death. Because if he had stopped Claudia from killing Lestat then he wouldn't have had to go to Armand and she wouldn't have been doomed by the coven. If we make Lestat's murder this Righteous and Justified Killing by the Poor Little Victims with No Agency™ then Louis has no character arc confronting his failings as a parent.

Now, I am going to pretend for a moment that this Lifetime Movie nonsense that the fandom preaches is something they would write. I want to ask: if everything was Lestat's fault, if the point of their stories was just to be 'free' of Lestat... Then why does Paris happen? Why does Paris happen as a chain of consequences of Louis' passiveness and Claudia's plans?

What exactly is the point of Paris if the story was meant to be just Louis and Claudia escaping from their Evil Abuser™? In which way does that plot makes Louis an interesting character? What's the point of Paris, of the trial, of Armand if that was the end goal? I'm trying to wrap my head on what is the plot that the 'Louis is not unreliable' crowd have in mind because I don't see any. I just see a badly written Cosmic Plaything character who tragedy only happens to him because Evil Lestat Did a Thing and He Couldn't Stop It™.

Louis's character arc is also going on in the present day. If the culmination of it is just realising that Lestat was Evil and Claudia was Innocent then why having the second interview at all? He already did that in San Francisco. If that's the supposed story the show wants to tell then they might as well started the show from Lestat's POV because at least he is more active and if Louis is so reliable then why would Lestat tell his own story to correct him?

Making Louis reliable strips him from a character arc in both timelines. Making him a passive character whose only goal in two seasons is to tell the story about how he and his innocent daughter escaped their abusive husband/father makes him not only the complete opposite of what his book counterpart was but also a flat and boring character that goes against the themes and narrative that the show is proposing.

#louis de pointe du lac #claudia de lioncourt #lestat de lioncourt #interview with the vampire #I open twitter five minutes and I just lose twenty braincells from the childish takes #they truly don't realise how much the story would completely if the writers were to do the nonsense they want as a 'plot' #less thinking about relantability and more thinking about structure people

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Wanted to share a few more things to keep in mind when writing about a man of color who has ADHD. I really hope most people know why presenting Ed as messy and unable to take care of himself without a White man's help is racist and bad, but there are a lot of other things I see that make me (a brown man with AuDHD) uncomfortable!

If you have ADHD, it's obviously okay to see yourself in a character! But it's important to keep in mind how they might come across as racist when you're writing about a man of color.

Here are some things I see pretty often:

Implying that ADHD means Ed isn't smart or capable. He's canonically a genius! It's okay if he worries he's not smart enough and the text directly contradicts that fear, but please be sensitive to how other characters will perceive a man of color who is very successful and also has ADHD symptoms on top of that. Don't make it sound like bigots are right about Ed. This is a careful line to walk and if you're White I recommend finding a sensitivity reader if you're going this route.

People of color very often will not tell you if we have ADHD. I'm too used to finally getting to a point where people see me as capable, then casually mentioning I have ADHD, and then being treated like a child again. Straight up if you're White I'm not telling you, and when Ed goes around in fics telling everyone he meets, it takes me out of the story. Show his symptoms, have him mention it in his own narration, but he's probably not going to be telling Stede right after they meet. In one of my fics, the only time he ever tells anyone else he has ADHD, it's Zheng, and that's on purpose.

Don't imply that Ed is only successful because of White men keeping him in check. That's racist and gross.

ADHD does not make someone "hyperfocus" on relationships or drop established relationships at the drop of a hat. That is not something Ed does. Please stop making me read this one, people with ADHD have normal and complicated relationships just like everyone else.

And some things you could do instead:

Consider Ed's symptoms based on what we actually see in the show. He's easily exciteable, bouncy, and sensory-seeking, often seeking out touch and experiences.

Remember that everyone's tolerance levels are different. Some people with ADHD really can't sit still, but Ed isn't one of them. When he's focused and mentally in a good place, he has no trouble being still and quiet. When he's doing a boring, quiet task, or when he's feeling intense emotions, that's when he has trouble.

If you're writing about Ed struggling with his symptoms and feeling like a failure because of them - which does happen! I'll be feeling great because I'm succeeding at work and school and then feel awful because I realize I forgot a doctor's appointment! - please let the narrative and other characters challenge those thoughts.

Just...basically, if you're writing about an ADHD Ed, don't let the ADHD take away that he's a very smart, talented, successful, tidy man of color. Honestly if you're White and writing about Ed's ADHD based on your own experiences, I recommend looking into a sensitivity reader. I'm pretty much always happy to do a sensitivity read if you ask. :)

#ofmd #our flag means death

[kelpiekidd]

Silly AU idea I'm calling the pen pals AU.

Basically, The Narrator is the deity of stories/storytelling. He has long since been forgotten by the mortals, no longer worshipped by anyone. Stanley accidentally starts writing him letters. This happens because Stanley starts journaling, tucking away what he wrote in an envelope, and burning it. The wires get crossed somehow and the letters start arriving in The Narrator's domain.

The Narrator thinks this is intentional and that these are letters written to him, and is overjoyed he is not completely forgotten. He starts affecting Stanley's daily life in little ways, sometimes big things. Complains about his coworker in a journal entry? Misfortune befalls him. Stanley is clueless to this. Eventually The Narrator starts infiltrating his dreams and speaking to him, and writing stories for him to play out in his dreams. Hijinks and whatnot.

TL;DR Stanley suddenly falls into the odd company of eldritch deities beyond his understanding by accident.

#kelpietalk #pen pals au #idk if anyone would want to hear more of this #i think its funny #tsp #the stanley parable #tsp au

[rosielav]

Rosie's Favorite (currently finished/caught up) Podcasts:

The Amelia Project - silly, quirky, morbid but almost always more jaunty and eccentric than completely dark. Great for anyone who loves 'narrator' or interview type podcasts. If I'm not mistaken, I've posted some of my thoughts on here using the pod's hashtag.

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbitity, and Mortality - another narrator type podcast, and probably my favorite of all time. The main voice you hear is perfect imo and keeps you engaged in all the right ways, bringing tension where it's needed, and levity where it's funny or odd. Absolutely consumed this podcast with a voraciousness I haven't felt for a bit. Keeps you guessing and always wanting more from every exhibit.

Victoriocity - excellent voice acting, interesting and unique premise and setting, and great plot. One of the podcasts I'm most looking forward to returning :) think steam punk but also it's the 1800s still in weird ways. If you love an old timey British accent, you'll love this haha.

The White Vault - probably my favorite specifically horror podcast, that makes you wait for answers in a craving sort of way, a longing to know what's going on, and not slogging through a bunch of filler to then get answers. It's great, gorey, geographically diverse fun. Interesting mashups of various cultures re: mythology, history, religion(?). Another on my list to watch out for the return of.

Midnight Burger: the quick pitch is - a time traveling diner that always services people in need, no matter what time, space, or dimension they may reside in. Excellent cast of characters, great development, wonderful implementation of a new character(s), and in general a very comfortable vibe to return to (speaking of, once I run out of recommendations I may relisten to this one). Highly recommend if you like sitcoms with time travel splashed with a bit of horror.

Edit: just finished up another one, so time to add it to the list!!

Monstrous Agonies: A radio show advice segment, about, by, and for the Creature Community. If you like WTNV, but find it a bit intense sometimes, or a bit too plot heavy/etc, you'll absolutely love this. Instead of the whole show, you just get the advice segment, but oh ho ho, is it so much more than that. If you're queer, BIMPOC, from a blended/mixed/broken/anything but 'typical' home... I think you'll like it. Very much what I would call 'easy listening', meaning you can just ease into an episode without having to remember a huge cast of characters, a plots b plots C plots meta plots... And it just feels *real*, in that strange and beautiful way WTNV does, but instead of a fictional town, the setting is the real world, with real problems, and real solutions. Sometimes you really do just need to howl or cry or chew on some slippers and that's OK. Highly recommend for ADHD havers or anyone with a short attention span who loves a soothing voice.

Edit: Another absolute banger to add to the list

Wooden Overcoats - how do I even properly describe the experience of this podcast. Let's start with the basics: It's the story of twins who run a funeral parlor on a small island, in a small village. Their family has been running said parlor for hundreds of years, as the only funeral directors on the island. Until one day... They aren't. A man arrives and sets up his own funeral parlor directly across the square, and boy, do things change for those twins. If you've listened to (and loved) Victoriocity, or The Amelia Project, I guarantee you'll enjoy this one. Strange, silly, and interesting things are always happening, except this one doesn't have quite as much drama (well...... Perhaps a different kind of drama. I'd call this an interpersonal dramedy, with emphasis on the comedy). An incredible listen, through and through. I thoroughly enjoyed every single episode, and the ending was quite safisfying :)

Another EXCELLENT addition to this ever increasing list of content!!! I'm not even finished with this one, I just love it so much that I can't help but add it to the list:

Mission Rejected - you know in those spy movies, where the spy gets a secret message from HQ and they say 'your mission, if you choose to accept it...' ok great. Now imagine if 007 said 'no'. This is the story about the backups, the team that takes the missions rejected by the Top Spy Guy. It's got diverse voice acting (in many senses of the word - you can tell the voices apart, it's not exclusively straight cis white dudes, etc etc), wonderful worldbuilding, great pacing, an excellent plot, I really could go on and on. I highly recommend this specific podcast to anyone who wants something light to get deeply invested in, that has a lot of comedy but also develops the characters outside of just their bits. 100/10 no notes

Edit: not sure which podcast/podcast enthusiast rb'ed this yesterday but I'm so glad more folks get to see this list!!! It makes me so happy that lots of folks enjoy this list, a d share their fave ones, and!!!! Aaaggghhhhhhhhh!!! I love podcasts and podcast enthusiasts!!!!!

Also I have another one for yall :3 if you're looking for another improv comedy to add to your list!!!

Hey Riddle Riddle - exactly what you think it is, but also so much more. Three friends/coworkers who also happen to be sensational improv comedians solve riddles and puzzles together, while also introducing bits and skits and reoccurring segments, so it never feels like 'just a Riddle podcast' (whatever that means). I have laughed every single episode, which is a big deal for me (some comedy podcasts only make me laugh every few episodes, and I require at LEAST one laugh per episode). I can genuinely say this is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever listened to, and the absolute best improv I've ever heard. I'm all for committing to the bit, and this one absolutely delivers on both the commitment part and the bit part haha. Seriously can't recommend this one enough if you maybe listen to a lot of drama/horror and need something easy to listen to (easy meaning there's not a plot you have to be intensely listening for, you can just enjoy it casually). 1000/10, please listen and also tell me YOUR favorite riddles :)

#podcasts #podcast recommendation #Midnight Burger #victoriocity #the amelia project #the mistholme museum of mystery morbidity and mortality #the white vault #I spent a lot of time in Midnight burgers first episode wondering if Zebulon was Paul F Thompsons lmao #Anyways I love these podcasts please someone ask me about them #I desperately want to interact with more podcast people #Yell at me about podcasts #Ask me about my favorite characters or episodes #monstrous agonies #wooden overcoats #mission rejected podcast #Skip Grainger has made me realize what a blorbo truly is. I love this man. I love him so fucking much. With his little filing systems. #I want to scrunch him down and put him in my pocket forever I wanna just rotate him around in my brain he's the perfect lil guy #Finally a man i could truly feel safe around like... This man understands platonic love like no other man I've ever seen #hey riddle riddle

[aihoshiino]

chapter 136 thoughts

before i get into the sad stuff i need to say that ai eating ice cream with her head empty no thoughts expression blasted ten hundred million billion tons of dopamine directly into my brain. thank you.

This chapter is interesting for a lot of reasons but I will say up front that I'm really glad the story is taking the time to humanize Nino and to flesh out the absolute mess that are her feelings towards Ai. I was really excited when she entered the story because I had always wanted to know more about the 45510 narrator (which this chapter basically unambiguously confirms even more strongly than before — we get the 45510 drop again!) but I was worried after meeting the real Nino that she would be painted as a black and white villain. Through Kana's empathy for her and the movie's portrayal of her though, we get to see her as just a normal person.

Because like… I'm gonna be honest, I feel so deeply sorry for Nino! Like, Jesus Christ, don't forget that she was anywhere between twelve and sixteen when all this was happening. She was just a kid being brainpoisoned by the entertainment industry and held to impossible standards. She had no power and the few things she felt she had any control over were being ripped out of her grasp. Is it any wonder she reached a breaking point?

Not just that but… man, B-Komachi gen 1 just seemed like it was an utterly dogshit experience for everybody but especially anyone who wasn't Ai. Both Nino and Kyun have said it explicitly: they did not feel like valued members of the group. Saitou pushed and favoured Ai to the extent that everyone else in B-Komachi felt like backup dancers who were just there to make Ai shine brighter. We see this pattern repeated in B-Komachi gen 2, as well! I've already talked about how in a very real sense, the group only exists for Ruby's sake and Kana and Memcho really are just there as her accessories but Miyako herself is favouring and pushing Ruby for work to the extent that even Ichigo points out that she needs to give the other girls more jobs. No wonder Kana empathizes with Nino so deeply.

Something else really interesting about this chapter is getting to see what dealing with Ai is like from someone else's POV. Understand that I'm saying this as the Internet's Foremost Ai Wife Guy but oh my god!!! I think this is the first time we've gotten a really good understanding for how deeply, deeply frustrating Ai really must have been to deal with as a person only allowed to see the perfect 'Ai of B-Komachi' mask. Nino is all but breaking down in front of someone she considers a friend, begging her for the slightest bit of honesty and authenticity, for Ai to just show that she cares about Nino in the least… and Ai just gives her a bunch of blithe, noncommittal answers. Even knowing Ai as well as I do, I could almost feel a ghost of Nino's desperation and frustration pass over me as I read that exchange.

With that in mind, Nino's outburst at the end of the scene here doesn't feel like pure nastiness - it feels like desperation. It feels like her lashing out with the worst possible thing she can think to say because if she hurts Ai, if Ai actually shows that Nino's words reach her at all, if Ai's human enough for Nino to hurt then…

But, well. We already know how this all turned out. Even so, like Kana said… Ai's smile is suffocating.

Speaking of Kana, this was a damn good chapter for her. A lot of people seem to have interpreted her as getting 'lost' in the role of Nino but going by this chapter's portrayal, Kana seems to have a much healthier distance from her than Ruby does to Ai right now (BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT….), being literally portrayed as viewing the scene as if from a distance. I do think her empathizing with Nino is allowing her to examine and get out some of the hurt and resentment that's been bubbling away since Black Hoshigan Ruby but things are being so infinitely more complicated by everything else going on around this split.

Speaking of which… whoooooooof, Ruby. Her levelling up her understanding of Ai was uh, not quite as good for her as I'd previously thought. It's important to note that this is pretty clearly Ruby's feelings that she is projecting onto Ai: in 45510, Ai herself explicitly says that she never hated the B-Komachi girls and Ruby blurting this out here feels like a very pointed contrast to that. It's pretty clear to me that we're coming back around to something established during the preproduction phase: that this material is quite literally triggering for Ruby and it's damaging for her to be engaging with it.

… which is why it's so, so scummy for Gotanda to be pushing this. I'm holding back on really going into what I'm thinking of Gotanda right now because I want to see if/how the manga addresses this but I'll just say that I'm coming away from this part of the story feeling much more sour about him than I think I'm intended to. It's possible that this is just because I'm fresh off hearing Jeanette McCurdy's horrific account of how damaging this kind of acting was to her as a child but… I find it really hard to like and get behind a director who is purposely letting his actors endure intense psychological suffering for the sake of His Vision lol

After all, like… for all that he talks about wanting to film 'the true Ai', this Ruby freakout is not that! That's Ruby, snapping under the strain of the pressure put on her. Even if you want to argue Ai felt similar strain… is her restraint and her grace and patience in not giving out under it not also 'real'? Why does authenticity necessitate turning Ai's ugly feelings into a spectacle? Why does Gotanda think he has the right to make calls on what is 'authentic' here?

I'd say "who died and made him king" but that's the point, isn't it? Ai died. She's not here anymore to make calls about her identity and the people who are here and who are in a position to do so aren't actually doing it with care and consideration or proper respect for her memory. This movie has been touched by so many people who have their own agendas, who did not know anything about Ai and quite frankly have no right to be making calls about who she really was and what she really felt. 15 Year Lie is an utterly ghoulish production and nobody is coming out of it clean.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers

[literaticat]

Hi! If your client has a bunch of MG books that stand alone but can be considered in the same vein, would you pitch it as having series potential? At what point would you mention the other books?

"Series" can mean different things. But basically, sure, if it has series potential, I'd pitch it as such. And if they were interested, I'd show them a series proposal / pitches for other books in the series. At what point, depends on what kind of series we are talking.

EPISODIC SERIES. Usually following one hero or group of friends or whatever, all set in the same world, with the same general format/style for every book, but with a different issue every book. Each book can be read on its own in any order; the characters don't age much (or they do so very slowly!) These types of series could be literally endless. (Like Nancy Drew, or The Babysitters Club. Or on the TV side, Scooby Doo, the Simpsons, or Law & Order... any sitcom or "monster of the week" type show, really!)

These often ARE conceived as series from the jump, especially for chapter books, so they can all be branded as a series together from book 1. If that's the case, I'd go out with the first book and a series proposal (aka ideas for several further potential books), they might be sold in a multi-book deal. This happens ALWAYS with chapter books (I'd never go out with a totally stand-alone chapter book, publishers buy them in multi-book deals all the time) -- and sometimes but less often with MG books.

ANTHOLOGY SERIES. This is like an off-shoot of the Episodic style series. In this type, the series as a whole has a theme, and every book has the same kind of tone and length, but every book theoretically stands alone and is sometimes vaguely associated with the others, but doesn't have to be. Examples: Goosebumps - usually different kids/different monster in every book though sometimes popular ones make a reappearance, I'm lookin at you SLAPPY! I Survived - different disaster every book. On the TV side, Twilight Zone is a good example -- the only thing REALLY tying those stories together is the tone/style and narrator, each episode is its own thing.

This would likely be conceived as a series from the jump, as above, and if that's the case, again, I'd go out with the first book and the series proposal from the start.

PROGRESSIVE SERIES: Usually following one hero or group of friends or whatever, all set in the same world, and with different issues every book, BUT, there is a "Big Bad" or mystery or something that the overarching series is trying to solve, a story told the whole series long, time passes during the series, you DO sort of have to read them in order to get the full effect, and there is a conclusion. Like Harry Potter, or on the TV side, any "Limited Series" type show. White Lotus, say.

IF book one CAN stand alone -- like, the story of the book concludes, BUT there is obviously more story to be told / a larger thing happening -- I'd probably go out with it as a stand-alone but mention that there are more potential books, that it could be a series, and I'd have a series proposal that sketches that out, etc, and if they liked it they might want to know what future books would look like, so I'd show that to them at that point..

COMPANION BOOKS. These books completely stand alone, BUT they are set in the same world. So maybe each book is about different members of the same family, or a group of best friends -- each one has a story that is totally discrete, the series aren't numbered on the spine, you can read them in any order. (MANY MANY Romance novels are this way -- think Bridgerton, where each Bridgerton sibling gets their own book with their own romance, and yes, the other characters make cameos, but you don't need to have read their book to understand what is happening at all! On the kid's side, the Casson Family book by Hilary Mckay is an example.)

This, I'd likely go out with whatever book as a stand-alone, but mention in the pitch that there are ideas for other books set in the same world, each following a different sibling / friend / whatever. And if they were interested, talk to them about that or show them brief pitches of other potential stories. But this would probably sell as a stand-alone, and if it did well, they might add more books.

#series books

[luckynumber-8]

♡ ~ HOBBIT TRAUMAS (AND HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM) ~ ♡ (4 Hobbits X Reader Preference)

a/n: No one would escape an adventure like the Fellowship had unscathed, especially not if you were an innocent, good-hearted, fun-loving hobbit.

My take on the traumas the 4 hobbits would have after the adventure, and how you, reader, help them deal with that.

P.S. -This is my first-ever writing post in Tumblr... and also my first-ever posted fanfic-type-thing! It's just a bunch of headcanons right now - maybe I'll take one of the ideas and turn it into a drabble or something later. Feedback is the best thing ever, and I would love to get any that anybody has!

P.P.S. - Shoutout to @wordbunch, who's LOTR writings I absolutely adore, and whose post formatting I basically used as a cheat sheet, because I'm a totally clueless newbie. So thank you! I hope that wasn't out of line for me to borrow 😕

Frodo

Sometimes he can still feel the crushing weight of the ring pulling on his neck or weighing on his chest, and you catch him absentmindedly rubbing one of these spots

So you, you special person, find some excuse to give him a neck rub or a back rub

Because you absolutely cannot stand seeing him trying to hide his discomfort like this

You know openly calling him out on it will just remind him of all that happened to him, so you have become a Master of Subtlety and Distraction

Whenever you catch him staring into the distance, you know it is Time to Remove Frodo From His Own Head

So

Distractions ensue 

Namely:

Surprise hugs

Randomly launching into stories or rants that you know he won't be able to help listening to 

(Because the sound of your voice is not-so-secretly one of his favorite things and he will listen forever)

Offering to read to him (we all know this is Book Boy, so what better than having his favorite tales read aloud by you?? His favorite narrator??)

You make him cups of tea as he writes his book

When he sees you smiling in the doorway with a mug in one hand and the scent of his favorite leafy brew drifting out of it, it just makes his day because…well, you.

You just think of him too much and he can't handle it lol

Sam

Never

Ever 

Ever

Try to put this poor boy around spiders

Ever

(yes I love this HC, idk who came up with it and I can’t remember where I saw it but it’s basically canon in my bran now)

He cannot stand them, not even in the garden anymore. You can see how he stiffens and twitches every time one of those ugly eight-leggers scuttles across his path and instantly know how much restraint he's using not to kill it on the spot.

Spider in the house? It's all you, Y/N

You know he would try to face it down for you and you alone

But you can't stand seeing him go all cold and shaky at a little garden spider 

So you often remove them before he can even notice because peace in the house is a nice thing to have

He also has alarming levels of self-doubt sometimes because of how he thinks he's misjudged things in the past

But luckily for him, he has you

You are there to support him and are always advocating that he is strong and makes solidly good choices

And you know what? You are his world, so he believes your every word. 

He drinks those affirmations up like there is no tomorrow

And you are happy to continue on as his supplier till the end of days

Merry

Personal HC that when his arm is burned after stabbing the Witch-King, he gets phantom pains not dissimilar to Frodo's

It's almost like nerve damage - he'll be fine one minute and drop whatever he was holding the next, or his hand will start twitching in weird and sometimes disturbing (to him) ways

This is Mr. "Nothing-Bothers-Me-And-I'm-Fine", so naturally, it bothers him quite a bit that one of his appendages refuses to follow orders on a regular basis

It's something that he tries to hide from you - pretends it's not there, BARELY jokes about it.

If Merry Brandybuck ain't joking about it, you aren't either.

Sometimes you hear villagers mentioning it in hushed whispers, and you (badass) shut them up before a single one makes it back to Merry

Because you know that's what he'd do for you, so you absolutely do it for him.

And you know he secretly appreciates that you don't fuss over it, because he doesn't want to feel different or incapable. It helps, for him, that you treat him like just the same person he was before (because he is duh) and nothing has changed and he doesn't want or need to be coddled.

Not saying you do, but you might sometimes give this particular arm a little extra love and affection. Massaging his hand, tracing circles on his wrist, and just letting him know how dead cool you think his scar is.

Because, really…how many people have changed the fate of Middle Earth and have something to prove it?

Your Merry does, that's who. And you'll never let him forget how amazing and brave he is.

Pippin

Pippin is constantly awake in the dead of night

Because he's haunted by wild nightmares 

And you're the first and probably one of the only people he would turn to for comfort

So guess what? You're up too, holding him close to you in the dead of night while he tries to calm down

Sometimes he tells you what the night mare was, sometimes he keeps silent and just wants to lay next to you. You know he'll tell you in his own time if it's right to.

This little hobbit is such an empath, he really took to heart EVERYTHING that happened on his journey

And he thinks that way too many things were exclusively his fault 

Gandalf's death? His fault.

Merry getting hurt (because he got them separated and wasn't there)? His fault.

Boromir's death (because he didn't know how to fight)? His fault.

Again, you know better than to push, but you know the content of a lot of his nightmares revolves around his contributions being insignificant, his actions causing people's injury (or death), and how badly things could have played out because of him. It worries you, how much brainspace he gives to these things.

So you keep him close to you. I mean that both literally and figuratively. He's not shy about taking the physical comfort he needs (honestly I don't think he's aware of the concept of personal space), but he gets tripped up trying to talk about his own feelings

So you just give him his space, all the time he needs, and bottomless snuggles 

Because contrary to what he thinks, a lot of things went right because of him, and you can't tell him enough how much he means to everyone (and you. most importantly, definitely you.)

Thank you for reading, if you made it down this far! I hope to post some actual writing soon, if I can find the time to sit down and put my Writer's Cap on. I am considering opening requests! At this point I don't know who will see this r how it's going to do, so we'll see how things work out :)

#lotr x reader #lotr #frodo #frodo baggins #frodo x reader #frodobaggins x reader #saw #samwise #samwise gamgee #sam x reader #samwise x reader #merry #merry brandybuck #merry x reader #merry brandybuck x reader #pippin x reader #pippin took x reader #pippin took #lotr preference #frodo imagine #samwise imagine #merry brandybuck imagine #pippin took imagine

[cuephrase]

i didn't realize this needed to be said, but jason doesn't die at the end of UTRH?? not in the comics, or in the movie. and on top of him not dying, bruce does not kill him??

like, this is most obvious in the movie. jason isn't suffering from any potentially life threatening injuries when the building blows up, bruce grabs (or attempts to grab) him, and then they get separated in the explosion. bruce digs through the rubble looking for him and doesn't find him. ambiguous, yes. and there is no sequel to the movie to like definitely prove that he's alive in that universe, but bruce doesn't find his body which is superhero logic 101 for 'this character isn't dead'.

moving on to the comics.

now, this is...not a great look. i'm not a medical professional, okay, and it's not the clearest shot, so i can't sit here and claim with 100% confidence that jason's carotid artery did not get cut in some way. but i can reasonably assume it wasn't, because, well, look:

do you see how deep inside the artery is? and again, not the clearest shot, but it looks like if the batarang was to hit anything, it would probably be the jugular vein.

the jugular vein being cut would bleed a LOT. but, and just to remind you, i am not a medical professional, it would almost definitely not be fatal. while it bleeds a lot, it doesn't bleed enough fast enough. (but that's so much blood!!! yeah ik. it's a comic book. they like drama.) and, if the victim is able to put pressure on the wound, that reduces the bloodflow a lot and the blood is able to clot better, etc. we see jason do exactly that. the amount of blood on the floor doesn't appear to increase a whole lot from the initial gush either. he'd still need medical attention, don't get me wrong, but he's not dying from that.

we can't even assume that he's dead when he drops to the floor because if you pay attention to the panels, jason's moving. his back is initially facing the joker and then by the last panel his back is facing bruce.

anyways, joker blows the building, and we see no bodies. just bruce's silhoutte in the wreckage in one panel, and the narration is cryptic and foreboding. ambiguous, certainly leaves room for fans to come in and what if?

but dc answers the question about whether or not jason is alive almost immediately. i say almost because infinite crisis takes over immediately after batman 650. because of this, there is no neat follow through directly after the events of utrh, because instead we get One Year Later. (they just went big event!! no resolution!! gap year!! perfection!! pure brilliance.) so does jason pop up in batman's first issue OYL? no, but he does in nightwing's. dick seems somewhat surprised to see him, but i honestly think it has more to do with dick being surprised that the person running around nyc killing people in a nightwing costume is jason than him being surprised jason is alive.

so we know he lives. big whoop. how the hell do i know that he didn't just get dragged into another Lazarus Pit for a refresh while infinite crisis was happening? i don't. i mean, if i remember correctly, all the pits were destroyed by bruce and bane, except one, and at the time i don't think the location is known? point is, would've been hard to get to one.

but the biggest reason, aside from everything else, the way i know jason did not die temporarily again in the comics, is that it requires assuming one of three equally improbable outcomes.

outcome 1: jason doesn't survive the explosion, because he's incapacitated and bruce tries to save him, but fails. why is this improbable? because literally what is the point in telling that story again if you're just going to have jason pop up alive again basically as soon as he can. bruce certainly feels like he's lost jason post-UTRH, but not in a my-son-is-dead way, in a my-son's-lost-his-way way.

outcome 2: jason doesn't survive the explosion, because he's incapacitated and bruce chooses not to save him in that moment. bruce, who has only gotten himself into that situation to begin with because he was trying to save his son, decides to let him die at the last moment. bruce, who has been haunted by finding jason's body in the smoldering remains of a warehouse for years, allows history to repeat itself when he's right there and he can save him this time. bruce, who will always try to save someone, even the joker, even if it means risking his life.

outcome 3: the batarang sliced jason's carotid artery and he bled out and died...at the hand's of batman. batman, who does not kill. batman, who has never killed. batman, who refuses to take life, decides to break his one rule in the spur of the moment to kill his son and save the joker? oh, but, maybe it was an accident. maybe he didn't mean to cut jason that deeply with the batarang. maybe, for the first time in batman's many years of precise batarang throwing, he messes up and whoopsie, kills someone.

maybe, let's set the batarang down for a sec and pick up occam's razor- we know that jason is alive post-utrh. there is a crap ton of hoops to be jumped through and rules broken to explain how jason might've died, and then you've got to figure out how he's alive again. it's a much simpler path of logic to follow that jason was injured, survived the explosion, and that is how he is still alive post-UTRH.

look. you can dislike how bruce chose to handle jason's ultimatum. you can explore the what-if-it-had-happened-this-way in fanfic or posts. but you cannot claim that jason canonically died at the end of Under the Red Hood. it's just not true. and claiming it's true directly contradicts immutable canon foundations. there is a lot you can say about bruce wayne, about batman, that are canonically true, but he is not a murderer.

plus, i mean, c'mon, if jason had died at bruce's hands, do you really think he'd never bring that up? you really think his petty, dramatic ass would keep his mouth shut about his father killing him to save the joker? you think the hero community would find out that batman killed his son and just be casual about it?

from here (Green Arrow #70), we at least know that ollie knows about their fight, which if he knows the whole justice league probably knows. (there might be a comic out there were bruce discusses it with them, idk.) it seems like ollie was under the impression that jason was dead again, or maybe not in good enough shape to be running around in a costume. interpret as you want. ollie being under the impression that jason is dead would fall under outcome 1 imo, maybe 2 if you want to imagine that bruce fudged some details when he filled in the other heroes, if you're assuming he decided to do that. i haven't read a whole lot of comics where bruce is interacting with non-gotham heroes, but it is my understanding that bruce is not exceptionally forthcoming with info. personally, i think ollie asking for clarification comes more from a place of green arrow writers not assuming that green arrow readers know what's up with batfam comics, but that they might've heard about UTRH and so they're just going, yep there was an explosion, no jason isn't dead. bottomline- there's no way ollie will be working with bruce, especially with mia, if he thinks bruce is a killer.

look. you can dislike how bruce chose to handle jason's ultimatum. you can explore the what-if-it-had-happened-this-way in fanfic or posts. but you cannot claim that jason canonically died at the end of UTRH. it's just not true. and claiming it's true directly contradicts immutable canon foundations. there is a lot you can say about bruce wayne, about batman, that are canonically true, but you cannot say he is a murderer.

#jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #under the red hood #dc comics #engage with canon as much or as little as you please #headcanon what you want #but if you're going to make claims about canon please don't spread outright lies #there's plenty of canon angst and trauma in jason and bruce's relationship #i promise #bruce doesn't need to kill him #for things to be rocky