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#i’m not sure if you planned this to be angst twitch but it is now
rileyglas · 3 days
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The List ~Pt. 9 - Consequences~
Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader
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Summary: After a night of pure bliss with Alastor, you both turn your attention to the ever growing list of things to do. You part ways and head out to find a new potential contract but encounter more than you bargained for. It becomes clear that your actions have repercussions, and you find yourself confronting the consequences head-on.
Themes: The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, mentions of blood/bodily harm, slow burn, eventual smut, and of course 18+
A/N: I really struggled with this chapter so if you enjoyed, please let me know! It was rewritten at least six times.
3.7k Words
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 (You're on it!)
**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader
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The sound of distant crickets wakes you. Though your mind is awake, you keep still with your eyes closed. Did last night even happen? Was it just some drunken dream? Arms pull you into a warm body, pleasantly reminding you that this was far from a dream. Alastor nestles his face into the crook of your neck, cooing as he tightens his grip around you. “Squeeze any tighter and I might pop.” you giggle quietly to not disturb the peaceful morning. 
“Hmm then so be it.” he mumbles, still sounding half asleep. His deep, unfiltered voice sends a hot rush down your back. It was unusual for him to actually sleep but after the eventful night, you both were blissfully exhausted. You thread your fingers atop his and place a kiss into his palm. As much as you wanted to stay like this forever, the impending list of things to deal with weighs heavy on your mind, “Alastor…you should go check on Charlie. After the meeting I’m sure she could use some of your support right about now.”
Alastor kisses the back of your head then groans, reluctantly moving from your warmth to get out of bed. He pauses at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. You roll over to take in the beautiful sight of his bare body. Hair a mess, tail ever so slightly twitching, scars and your marks across his back. The perfect picture of the demon you’ve come to love deeper than he’d ever realize. A smile stretches across your face as you crawl over and slink your arms around him, placing gentle kisses over his neck and shoulders.
He leans back into you, “Don’t worry too much about Charlie, dear. I have a plan but it does require a trip into Cannibal Town. I believe you have some pressing matters to deal with while I’m gone?” You tense at the thought. Which matter was he referring to? Lucifer? The Extermination? Getting a better hold over your ever growing power? All could take a back burner to other problems at the moment. “I actually need to make a trip into the city again. One of my…contracts…found some smaller demon in need of my help before the Exorcists make their grand appearance.” 
“Then I’ll go with you -”
“Alastor…” you move to stand in front of him, cupping his face as his eyes wander every inch of your naked body, “...I need you to trust me when I say I can handle this. You have plenty to do and I don’t need your shadow babysitting me either.” your tone is serious, almost scolding the demon.
He runs his hands up and down your hips nervously, “I trust you. It’s others I don’t trust. You’ve attained quite a list of people who would be all too happy to find you alone on the streets.” 
“Don’t remind me.” you say under your breath, though well aware of how right he is. “Besides I won’t be totally alone - Simon is meeting me. I promise I’ll be careful…okayyyy?” You flash your eyes mischievously, making his worry fade into a soft smile. “Fine. Back by dinner or else -” He playfully grabs your waist to pull you on top of him, laying back across the bed, “ - I will come find you.” he teases before placing a long, tender kiss against your lips. 
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It was pleasantly domestic getting ready for the day in your now shared room. You look in the mirror at the marks left across your neck and chest from the night before. Angel is going to have a fucking hayday with this. As if reading your thoughts, Alastor walks behind you with half lidded eyes, breezing the backs of his fingers across each mark, “You sure you can’t make a visit to Lucifer today?” he hums smugly into your hair. You scoff and turn to smack his chest, “Behave! I have enough going on right now.” You notice he hadn’t buttoned his shirt all the way like usual, as if proudly showing off of his own bites and bruises. 
The two of you head down to the lobby to see everyone but Charlie sitting around the parlor. You plop down next to Nifty in time to hear the end of Vaggie explaining her status as a fallen angel. Ooooh that makes so much sense now…Angel pokes at the already agitated girl, “And where is miss fearless leader anyway? Isn't it about time for another "doomed-to-fail" plan?” 
A solemn look crosses Vaggie’s face, “She's upstairs. Coming up with something, I'm sure, in our room. Alone.” Alastor leans down to your ear, “That’s my queue. Be safe, I love you.” he kisses your temple and slips away into his shadow. 
The group looks at you like you have suddenly grown two heads. If you didn’t know any better, Vaggie was about to explode. “What!?” you ask innocently. “So uh - long night?” Husk elbows Angel, both trying to conceal their laughter. You ignore the comment and roll your eyes. Walking towards the door you stop briefly behind Angel, “You were right about Smiles.” you say quietly with a wink. His eyes nearly pop out of his head in between choking on his drink. The sound of your amused cackles echo through the lobby as you make your way out the door.
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Simon was one of your first souls put under contract. The once prestigious loan shark had been cornered by a group of Exorcists. They toyed with him like a cat does its prey, taking turns slicing him head to fin over and over while he begged for mercy. It was pure luck when you found him in the sewer. In exchange for saving him, he agreed to a soul contract, keeping your secret and using his contacts to help you find others in need around the city. He had no issue being indebted to you as you always treated your souls well - unlike most Overlords. Through the years he became your go-to. As you approach the smaller demon on the street corner, you realize he has become your most trusted contract. Rule#1 B̵̳͍͈̑è̷̠ ̸̻͉͕̎̚ŏ̸̰̩́͝p̷̡̐ẽ̴̻̠̙ṇ̵͇͌ ̸͙̗͂͐t̸̠͙̝͌ơ̴̤̜͐̈́͜ ̵̰̒ẗ̴͖̹̲́r̵̟̓̄u̸̻͘s̴̢͔̀́̉t̸̠̒̿̈́,̷̠͍̞͛̅ ̸̢̭̤̂̇̈́b̸̧̛̖̀̊ṳ̷̖̫́t̸̨̗̥͂ ̷̧͓̳́̿n̴̯̠̑͝ê̵̾ͅv̵̨̤̳́é̶̼̌̆r̷̝̉̑ ̵̦̯̭͐̓̕d̸̟̈́̆̆o̶̡͑̊͘ ̴̼̉̚s̷̢̔͝o̵͚͕͌ ̶̺̙͊̅b̸͉̚ͅl̴͚̣͘͝ì̸̛̼ṇ̸̅d̷̞̤̍̍l̷̛̩y̴̧̼̙̾
“Sorry for the sudden urgency boss, but this guy insisted on meetin’ ya. To be honest I don’t know much about ‘em, all he said was he almost didn’t make it through the last Extermination. Seemed pretty shak’n up at the sudden bump in the next one.” In true gentleman fashion, he links your arm and leads you into a shop. 
Walking in you would have thought the Exorcist’s had already made a visit. Chairs strewn across the room, paperwork scattered, broken glass littering the floor. Blood smears across the walls, trailing to the back room. 
“The fuck Simon? I thought you said he needed help, not a damn funeral!” you snap. Simon looks at you in disbelief, “I didn’t know he - I mean he - look he was fine a few hours ago. Someone must’ve gotten to him.”
A loud crash in the back makes you both flinch. Cautiously you step through the store, careful to not make any unnecessary noise. As you peek your head in the room, which appears to be an empty stock room, you see the blood trail towards a small body in the back corner. This doesn’t feel right…
Your intuition goes ignored. Right or not - someone is hurt. After scanning the area to make sure the attacker wasn’t still in the room, you turn your attention to the crumpled body on the floor. It was hard to tell where exactly the most blood was coming from. His arms were shredded, one horn had been broken off completely, and his face looked like someone tried to slice it in two. Who the hell would do something like this? “Simon! In here!” You rush to the goat demon’s side.
As you kneel down to cradle him a gasp leaves his throat in pure terror. He flails at your touch, forcing you to tighten your grip, “Shhh relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Simon kneels next to you, “Hey buddy, remember me? This is my friend we talked about. She’s going to help you but before she can, you have to agree to a contract - as discussed earlier.” He was always good at reminding you of the need to cover your ass. Business first, help second. 
The dying sinner nods faintly, starting to lose consciousness. You grip his hand (hoof?) and pink threads wrap between your wrists, bounding his soul to you. You were never one for chains like most used. Souls were never prisoners in your eyes.
The intensity you feel from the deal makes your body practically vibrate. That’s new. You pull the goat’s head to your lips and brace for the pain. A hot white fire tears through your arms and head, but for only a moment. The pain that usually lingered subsided within seconds. I could get used to this.
The sinner’s face pulls back together and his missing horn heals over as a nub. The blood that once caked his arms disappears completely. He opens his eyes with a smile, but fear quickly washes over him, “Oh I’m so sorry…you have to leave before he comes back!” 
“Who!?” you and Simon both ask. The goat stands, hastily rushing you out the back door leading to an alleyway, “Vox…he attacked me. Said he overheard you were coming and…he - just please leave before -” 
As if hearing his name, Vox zaps out of a Voxtech camera hidden under some trash outside the alley. Not this guy again. You step in front of Simon, summoning some needles only to find they’ve become more like thin daggers, heavier and more robust. This power connection with Alastor just keeps getting better. “The fuck do you want Vox?”
He stalks towards you with a sinister smile, “Don’t worry that pretty head of yours, I’m not going to bother your little friends. I’m only here for you.” 
“Well, here I am!” You flick a few needles daggers at him. He staggers when one cracks his screen but the others miss, barely grazing his suit jacket. Shit, guess I need some practice with these.
His display sparks, “Ha - I had a feeling you wouldn’t come easy.” You turn to put some distance between you and the Overlord but don't get far. His large claw tangles into your hair and with a solid yank you’re thrown onto the ground. Your head cracks against the concrete, making the world spin and your ears ring from the impact. How’d he get to me so fast? Simon rushes to try to pull Vox off but the old shark is effortlessly tossed to the side like a ragdoll. 
Before you can get any form of bearing, Vox grabs your shoulder, delivering a shock that causes your entire body to spasm. Really hating how right Alastor was….
“You’re coming with me.” He wraps an arm around your waist. You feel his claws dig deep into your skin as he begins to drag you back towards the camera. You scream for Alastor in between the pulsations abusing your body. He is just a few streets over in Cannibal Town, there’s no way he can’t hear me. 
Your efforts only irritate the TV demon more. “Shut up!” he yells and the back of his hand meets your cheek hard enough to knock you to the ground. Fuck this guy. He towers over you smugly, “That coward isn’t coming to your rescue.” You spit out the blood pooling in your mouth, “Don’t hold your breath, asshole.” An amused chuckle leaves his chest as he throws your body over his shoulder, delivering another mind numbing shock as he continues down the alley. A familiar static faintly rings through your ears. He’s close, I need to buy more time. Rule #4 T̶̴̷̷̶̡͐ủ̴̵̸̷̸̺ŗ̵̴̸̶̴̚n̴̸̶̵̶̜͠ ̶̸̴̸̵̪̊y̵̷̸̶̶̧͛o̴̶̶̵̵͒ͅų̵̵̷̷̴͛r̵̷̷̵̴͔̍ ̶̴̴̸̷̪͂w̵̶̴̴̶͍͌ȇ̴̷̵̶̵̟ä̸̶̵̸̶͜k̷̶̸̶̵͒ͅn̵̸̴̴̸͍̈́e̸̷̸̸̴̱̽s̵̷̴̴̶̰͛s̵̷̸̷̷̤͗ ̶̴̸̴̶̲̅i̴̷̶̷̶̤̕n̶̵̶̸̵̪̐t̸̶̸̴̷͎̾ö̴̴̶̶̴̬ ̵̷̸̴̵͍̚ș̵̵̵̵̶̒t̷̷̵̵̶̡͆ṙ̶̶̴̴̸͓e̴̷̴̵̴̼͂ń̶̵̴̶̴͉g̶̶̷̷̷̭͐t̵̴̶̷̶͎͝ḩ̴̴̶̴̷̏
Every muscle feels like it’s being ripped apart, but you fight through the pain. You pull a dagger and weakly drive it into his shoulder. It only pierces half way before your strength gives out. “AHGH what the fuck!?” he yelps in surprise, dropping you to remove the blade, “You are one feisty little bitch aren’t you?” 
Deafening static echoes off the alley walls. Relief washes over you at the sight of a smiling shadow bolting by. “You are much more dense than I thought. Did I not make it clear last time? You are not welcome to touch what - is - mine.” Alastor’s voice booms. 
Vox looks over his shoulder at the demon materializing behind you, “Yours? I don’t see your nam- ” His screen twists with sudden disgust. You whimper as his claws dig into your cheeks, ripping your head upward to flash a perfect view of the bruises and bite marks across your neck. “Ho-holy shit…are you fucking the Radio Demon!? This is gold!” The sound of an audience cheering rings from the TV. 
A tentacle breezes past, forcefully knocking Vox into a dumpster. Alastor leans against his microphone, nonchalantly rubbing his monocle on his coat, “I believe we are done here. You can leave.” he chirps.
Vox wipes the red liquid spilling from his mouth. “Enough games.” With a quick flash he bolts to your side. He wraps an arm around your shoulders sending another charge ripping across your body. Your sight begins to pinpoint from the pain. The last thing you see is a bright flash of blue, changing the city alley to a luxurious penthouse. 
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The cold tile below you is surprisingly pleasant against your bruised face and body. You open your eyes and struggle to move. Wires tightly wind around your wrists and ankles. Shit how long was I out?
“Well good morning sunshine! I hope you had a nice nap.” Vox sits in a red velvet chair in front of you. He crosses his legs arrogantly and rests his head on his claw, “Now tell me, how did someone like you manage to slip under all of our noses through the years? Did Carmilla protect you? Or are you just a shitty Overlord?”
“A s-shitty Overlord? Sounds like the p-pot calling the k-kettle black.” you jeer, stuttering through the torturous zaps coming through the wires. He stands up and sucks his teeth already losing patience, “I’d watch that smart mouth of yours. You’ve made quite a few enemies with that last stunt. Did you really think I’d let you off without consequence? Noooo…I’m going to enjoy making - you - suffer.”
He kneels by you and forces your eyes to his hypnotizing gaze. This just went from bad to worse… You squeeze your eyes shut to try to shake his control but lose any ability to move. 
“Of course if you promise to be a good girl, I could show mercy. We could make a deal! A partnership! I spare you now and in return, you and those fun powers of yours belong to me.” 
You growl through gritted teeth, “I’d rather die again than belong to someone like you.”
“Common, I can give you so much in return for your services. Val might not be too thrilled but it would be worth it knowing I’m in control of Alastor’s whore.” he slowly moves around you like a vulture waiting to attack.
He can’t be serious. “Fuck….you…” 
“Oh only if you ask nicely babe.” Vox coos seductively. A snap of his fingers releases the wires bounding you. Still unable to move on your own accord, he picks you up and holds you flush against him. You feel his staticy tongue trace across your neck to your ear. “What do you say sweetheart? Are you going to beg for me to show mercy?” You retaliate the only way you can, by spitting in his face at the offer. 
His screen sparks and flashes red with rage. “Stupid cunt!” he throws you face down through the glass coffee table. It completely shatters under you. That didn’t feel great. “Is s-someone a little sensitive t-to rejection?” you laugh mockingly at his outburst. The lights in the tower flicker as he sputters and errors. Regaining control of your body, you struggle to get to your feet. A familiar hand wraps around your waist to help steady you upright, “Go back to the hotel.” Alastor commands, already nearing full demon form. You shake away his shadow as your own horns and fire burst out, “I’m not leaving you.” Rule #3 K̶̷̴̴̸̶̶͙̗̉͐e̶̴̷̶̵̶̗̺͂e̵̸̶̴̴̵͖͂͗ṕ̸̴̸̵̷̴̪̈ ̵̶̴̶̸̶̞͂̀t̵̴̵̵̷̶͎͇̿h̶̴̴̶̴̷̙́̑ȯ̴̵̴̵̶̶̖̇s̶̸̸̶̷̴̤̀̚e̴̴̸̶̷̶̸̘͎͌͝ ̴̵̶̵̸̷̱̉̓y̵̵̴̶̸̷̭͆̿o̸̸̴̶̵̶̴̯̲͂͑u̷̵̶̴̵̸̷̠̞̒̎ ̷̴̵̶̵̷̖̞͂ḻ̷̶̸̸̴̴̓͒ò̴̵̴̸̷̸̷̲͖͆v̷̴̷̵̵̶̤̈͠e̴̸̵̴̷̷̸̼̯̾̐ ̵̴̷̴̷̶̞̍̕c̷̸̴̴̶̛̜l̵̷̶̷̵͈̃o̵̵̷̵̵̸͈̕͠s̵̶̵̵̵̸̨̝̑e̷̶̵̵̷̷̡͌́
Vox sneers in frustration, “How the fuck did you get in here?”
“You forget who I am, old pal.” Alastor slams the bottom of his cane to the ground, sending black appendages towards the TV and smashing him into every surface of the room. Val bursts in, hearing the loud destruction, “Que carajo…….YOU!” He pulls a gun from his hip. You freeze recognizing the Carmine crest on the side of the weapon. Shit, that’s not ideal.
Val takes aim at Alastor who is too engrossed in torturing Vox to notice the danger he now faces. Without hesitation Val pulls the trigger. “No!” your heart drops as you reach out in vain, knowing you’re not close enough to do anything. Your scream catches Alastor’s attention. He drops Vox to see your expression mirroring his own confusion. There’s no way Val missed. Where did it -
Your still outstretched hand glows with power. A silence falls over the room at the sight of a Carmine bullet hanging mid-air, near millimeters from Alastor’s head. He smirks and smoothly slides out of its path to stand behind you. His lips brush your neck and he smiles through a low voice, “Good girl. Feel our power. Embrace it.” Rule #2 D̸̵̷̗̪͊́ö̸̵̶̤͙́͝n̸̴̸̩̫͊͘’̴̵̴̢̪̓̋t̶̸̶͎͓̎̇ ̸̵̸̩̑̋ͅb̵̵̷̦͔͆̇e̴̶̷̮̳̒̅ ̴̵̴̻̰̅̑a̸̴̴̹̳̓͝f̶̸̷͓̗͋̓r̸̸̴̞͐͆ͅą̶̴̵̥̀̾ḯ̴̵̴̱͇͝d̸̴̸̰͑͜͠ ̶̸̴̲̥͋͋t̴̸̸̩̽̎ͅö̶̵̶̭͎́̚ ̴̸̷̨̥́̕s̵̸̸̝̮͗̎h̶̸̷̞͖̍͋ö̶̶̷̲̘͝w̷̵̸̬̥̉͘ ̷̷̶̧̯̍̆ẏ̷̶̸̢̮̈́ö̶̷̸̦́̇͜u̸̸̴͍͍̐̅ŕ̵̶̷̻͚͝ ̶̶̷̙̮́̅p̸̷̶̙̱̌̚ǫ̴̸̶̇̈́͜ẘ̷̴̴͍̠̓e̸̸̸̯͋͌͜r̴̵̷̛̺͍̍
You look across the room to Val attempting to pick Vox up. With a flick of your wrist the bullet rockets back towards them. The TV demon swiftly grabs his partner and zips into a camera, narrowly avoiding your attack. Now who’s the coward…
Alastor’s pride fades into concern. He grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it up, “Woah what are you -” your protests stop the moment he shows you his blood soaked hand. You hadn’t noticed how much glass from the table riddled your body, having been masked by adrenaline and your now soaked black shirt.
“F-fuck time to -” Alastor is blindsided by a flash of blue. Vox’s bolt launches him through one of the large penthouse windows. You feel a pit in your stomach watching his limp body disappear over the edge and into the dark abyss of the city below. All the power you possess yet in this moment, you’ve never felt so helpless. No…he is okay. He has to be. I can still sense him. 
A disheveled and pissed off Vox stands where Alastor was just seconds before, closely shadowed by Val. Their eyes lock onto you. Through the sound of your heart pounding in your ears, you hear Vox’s voice glitch, “Time to j-join your p-pathetic Radio Demon.” Val lunges towards you and wraps two hands around your throat. His large hands are unforgiving, demanding to feel your life drain under him. Not this time Val. 
He makes the mistake of not holding your arms, giving you the opportunity to plunge a dagger deep into his side. With a wail, he releases his hold on you as he drops to his knees in agony. Time for a show. “We are done here Vox. Stand down. You wouldn’t want to lose your precious moth, would you?” You grab Val’s shoulder and rest your blade against his neck as a warning.
Vox cocks his head at your threat. He takes a step towards you without a word. You tisk, “Easy now…” you press the edge slightly deeper into the moth demon. Weak pleas of mercy fall from his lips. One wrong move and he would be cut ear to ear.
“You don’t have it in you.” the TV growls. 
Val howls as blood drips down onto his chest from you pushing further, “Try me.”
A warm hand against your lower back snaps your attention out of the tense moment, “Enough, cher. You are not one to take lives.” he whispers sweetly into your ear. You feel Alastor gently guide your blade out and away from Val, who shuffles like an injured dog towards Vox’s feet. Alastor’s voice roars boisterously, carrying a thick static, “I do believe the V’s won’t be bothering us any further, isn’t that correct?” he waves his hand to surround the two Overlords with shadowy his minions. Vox grits his teeth while tending to Val, “Alright fine! Leave our territory and we will leave you alone…for now.” his voice cracks with a mix of fear and frustration.
“Lovely.” Alastor hums, spinning his cane in a show of victory. 
Your veins run cold, contrasting the warm blood still dripping from the lacerations across your torso. Quickly losing the rush of adrenaline that was keeping you standing, you fall into Alastor - bracing against his chest. “Al, this is bad.” you breathe. With one swift movement he scoops you into his arms, “I know, let’s go.” The wrecked penthouse fades out and your shared room at the hotel fades in. Your eyes immediately become heavy, too heavy. “No no no…Stay awake, love. Fight it, I need you to -” Alastor's pleas fade as you slip away.
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Voices echo through the darkness. 
There’s so much blood…
Alastor, how -
Vox. He took her by surprise. 
Dad please, she needs you…
Wait…who? Get out of my way you stupid deer who is - W-WHAT DID YOU -
Get your hands off me! I didn’t do this! Can you help or not!?
I can try. I haven’t done anything like this in centuries.
D-Dad?
Leave us, I need to focus.
I will not be leaving her, especially with you.
You’re the reason she’s like this!
Watch your tone your Highness, you may be King but -
But what? You forget your place, demon. 
If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t be asking  -
Do not mistake me...I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for Charlie…and for her…
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@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers 
@alastorssimp @alastorsgirl48 @mysterisumone @ohnah2022 @catticora
@eris-norwega @kaylopolis @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @laudrawin  @qu1cks1lversb1tch@diffidentphantom
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ⴵ My Best Friend’s Little Sister | Yelena Belova ⴵ
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Pairing: Yelena Belova x reader
Warnings: steamy scene (no smut), blood, major injuries and ANGST
Summary: Telling your best friend Natasha about your relationship with her sister doesn’t go as planned.
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I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and place one last kiss to the inside of Yelena’s thigh before moving up her twitching body.
She’s panting and flushed in the best way possible and when I come into view above her, her hand finds its way to the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss.
Her other hand roams over my shoulder and chest, continuing down across my ribs until it settles on the small of my back.
“My God,” she mumbles against my lips, “You are amazing.”
I chuckle and pull back to look at her. “You always say that.”
Yelena’s smile mirrors my own, her eyes sparkling with adoration. “Because it’s true.”
I brush some hair off her sweaty forehead, enjoying the way she brushes her fingers over my lower back. “So are you,” I say quietly, vulnerability seeking into my voice. “You’re amazing.”
She’s not just amazing, she’s absolutely breathtaking. Since we started dating over a year ago she’s had this overwhelming grip on my heart. To say I didn’t love her would be a straight up lie, but we haven’t said that to each other yet and I’m waiting for her to say it first.
Her past has made her wary of anyone and everything, so I’m giving her the choice of whether or not she wants to take what we have to the next level.
So, for now, all I can do is repeat her sentiments back to her and hope that she somehow knows what I actually want to say.
Her green eyes dart between mine, tender and affectionate as always, but now there’s something new in them. For just a second her lips part and I think she might say something but then she just smiles again.
The tiniest bit of disappointment spreads in the pit of my stomach, but I ignore it when I remember why I snuck into her room in the first place.
I peck her lips, one, two, three times, making her giggle and settle down next to her. She turns and lays her head on my chest, her leg curling over my hips.
“Listen, I’ve been thinking and—“ I shift awkwardly as I run my fingers through her hair “— I know we talked about this before, but I really think Nat should know about us.”
Yelena stiffens but stays quiet, so I continue.
“She’s my best friend and I just— I hate keeping things from her, especially when they make me happy.“ I take the hand she’s rested on my stomach and press a kiss to her knuckles. “You make me happy, Yelena. So fucking much, and I’m tired of hiding that.”
How we’ve managed to keep our relationship a secret from Natasha all this time is still a mystery to me, but since the very start of it, the guilt of it has been eating away at me.
I wanted to tell her from day one, but Yelena insisted we keep it between the two of us. Why? I’m not entirely sure, but I respect her wishes. Since it’s been over a year since then though, I think it’s time to come clean.
“Yelena?” I nudge her, waiting nervously for a response.
Yelena sighs and sits up. She grabs the sheet and pulls it up to cover herself. “Y/N…”
I know she’s about to shut me down, but this is important to me, so I say, “Please, baby. She’s my best friend and your sister. Why don’t you want her to know?” I sit up as well and place my hand on her knee over the sheet.
“She’ll hate me for stealing you,” she whisperers after a moment of silence.
“Yelena…” I squeeze her hand and dip my head to catch her eye. “Nat could never hate you. Besides, I think she’d kick my ass long before ever thinking of kicking yours, I mean, I’m her best friend and I’m sleeping with her little sister. That’s like the biggest no-no in a friendship; Never go for the younger sibling.”
Yelena cracks the tiniest of smiles and takes my hand off her knee and interlaces her fingers with mine. “You’re not just sleeping with me though,” she argues lightly.
“No I’m not. We’re dating which is even more reason to tell her. Don’t you think she’d be happy for you? For us?” I counter argue, scooting closer so our legs are touching.
Shaking her head, Yelena sighs softly. “No, of course she’d be happy, but—It’s not just that.”
My eyebrows furrow and I tilt my head in question. “Then what is it?” I probe gently.
Green eyes find mine and I’m surprised to find something akin to shame in them.
“Hey, what is it?” I whisper, scooting even closer so I can press a kiss to her forehead.
Yelena drops the sheet and snakes her free hand to the back of my neck where she plays with my baby hairs, here eyes dropping as she admits, “It’s silly, but…this is the first thing I’ve ever had that is truly my own. Something I haven’t had to share with her. I just— I don’t want to lose that.”
I pout at her words and squeeze her hand. “Baby, hey… Please, look at me.”
Hesitantly, she raises her eyes again and I try my best to look reassuring when I say, “I get that. Trust me, I do. But you aren’t going to lose this–” I gesture between us with my free hand–“if we tell her. You aren’t going to lose me.”
Yelena bites her bottom lip and blinks rapidly to get rid of the tears that have appeared in her eyes. “Okay,” she says finally, nodding. She opens her eyes and smiles weakly. “Okay, let’s tell her.”
I beam and surge forward to press a kiss to her lips. It’s so fast that Yelena yelps in surprise before kissing back. Our intertwined hands disconnect and her free hand joins her other hand at the back of my neck.
We kiss feverishly, her tongue running over my bottom lip until I grant her access, and I use my super soldier-strength (I have Hydra to thank for that) to pick her up and get out of bed.
On instinct, her legs wrap around my waist and her grip on my neck tightens.
“Let’s—“ Kiss. “Tell her—“ Kiss. “After the mission—“ Another kiss. “Tomorrow.”
Yelena hums and I take that as a yes, so I start carrying her to the bathroom. “Shower?” I ask against her lips and, again, she just nods.
I laugh lightly and resume the kiss, barely even making it to the shower as Yelena’s lips start traveling down my neck.
Ducking behind a wall, I reload my gun and catch my breath. The deafening sound of gunfire surrounding us is making my hands shake and it takes me three times to insert the new magazine into the gun.
My mind is on the mission: secure the warehouse, grab the hostages, and get out.
The same can’t be said for Natasha, who’s crouching beside me. She raises a hand to the collar of my suit and tugs it down, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, well, well. Look what we’ve go here.”
My head snaps around and I slap her hand away. “What?”
Natasha laughs, obviously not phased by the ongoing fight. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Incredulous and confused as to what she’s referring to I raise an eyebrow. “Tell you what?”
Poking my neck with her finger, which I slap away once more, Natasha states, “You’re seeing someone!”
Judging by the blank look on my face, Natasha figures that I still don’t know what she’s talking about. She rolls her eyes and points at her own neck. “You’ve got a hickey and because I know you’re not one to hook up, you must be seeing someone.”
My cheeks heat up instantly and I choke in surprise. “I— What? No!”
Damn it, Yelena.
We agreed on no hickeys in visible places. Looks like she got a bit too carried away last night.
“Yes you do!” Natasha exclaims, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Who is it? Oh, don’t tell me it’s Bucky. I thought you said you didn’t like him?”
“What—No! It’s not Bucky!” I screech, bewildered. “Why would you even— You know what? Never mind, let’s just focus on the mission.”
Natasha whines. “Nooo, come on. Tell me!”
I look around the wall to make sure the coast is clear, before turning back and hissing, “Not now!”
“Fine,” Natasha shoots back. “But you have to tell me later.”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Now let’s go. You take the ground floor. I’ll take the stairwell.“
Natasha smirks and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I fight the urge to shove her and get going, entering the warehouse with a deathly grip on the handle of my gun.
The warehouse is run down and the smell of damp concrete and moss is almost overwhelming. Every window has been busted and the bricks of the walls are beginning to chip.
I continue up the stairs with my gun raised, ready to shoot, until I make it to the top level. There’s no one in sight, so I press a finger to the comms piece in my ear and ask, “Any sign of the hostages, Steve?”
“Negative.”
I huff in frustration, trying to ignore the gunfire that is still going on outside and downstairs.
I make my way past some abandoned offices and turn a couple of corners before getting to the spider web of metal walkways that stretches over the largest, main storage room.
I set a tentative foot onto one of the metal grates and put pressure on it. It creaks ominously and I retract my foot, knowing it’s not safe to walk on.
I’m about to turn around when there’s a grunt and then a thud to my left.
I spin around just in time to see Yelena and one of the Hydra agents crash through a metal door and stumble onto the walkway.
The metal groans under the load and my eyes widen. It could give out any moment and I can’t imagine watching Yelena fall to her death.
I want to shout and tell her to get off the walkway, but that would distract her and give the Hydra agent a chance to beat her.
I raise my gun and aim at the dark figure who’s driving Yelena backward and further onto the walkway with the force of his blows. It’s of no use though because I can’t get a clear shot with all the movement and I can’t risk hitting Yelena.
It seems as though she’s got everything under control though because after taking a few more hits she recovers and retaliates with such a strong kick, it knocks the Hydra agent off his feet. But then a second one bursts through a door to my right, his eyes landing on Yelena’s back.
He doesn’t see me and raises his gun in a flash. I want to scream, but he’s already pulled the trigger. My eyes squeeze shut in horror, but nothing happens.
When I dare to look again, the agent is examining his gun. He tries to fire again, but it’s quickly apparent he doesn’t have any bullets left, so he tosses the gun aside.
I raise my own gun again and aim it at him. Before I can do anything though, he pulls a knife from one of his pockets and takes off in a sprint across the walkway.
My stomach drops and without thinking I leap onto the walkway myself. “Yelena!”
She’s too busy with the other agent who’s managed to get back on his feet, so I focus on the second agent.
He still hasn’t noticed me, so I push myself harder. I have to get to him before he gets to Yelena. My ears are ringing and my feet are pounding on the creaking metal, but I keep pushing.
“Yelena, look out!” I try one more time and this time she turns around, her eyes widening.
The second agent is only a couple of steps away from her and raises his arm, ready to bring the knife down on her.
He never gets the chance though because with a final push I leap forward and tackle him. We fall and hit the metal grate with an ear splitting crack.
Then, the falling doesn’t stop.
“Y/N!” The cry is heartbreaking and I close my eyes at the look of pure horror and disbelief on Yelena’s face.
My stomach swoops like it does on a rollercoaster, and for a moment it feels like I’m flying.
But what is it they say? L’important, ce n’est pas la chute; c’est l’atterrissage.
I hit the ground hard. For a moment, everything seems to be fine. Then, it hits me like a train. Everything hurts. I can’t move and every breath burns in my lungs.
No normal human could have survived a fall from such a height. Good thing I have the super-soldier serum in me.
I try to move and get up. I have to find Yelena. I have to make sure she’s safe. As soon as I even just try to move my leg though, a blinding pain shoots through my body.
I whimper, not being strong enough to do much more, and glance down.
My heart sinks at the sight of a broken metal pole sticking out of my thigh. It’s rusty and now covered in blood.
What makes matters even worse is that it’s not the only one. There’s another going right through my stomach, and another one through my chest, close to my shoulder.
The sight is dizzying and I close my eyes for a moment. I’m still fighting to get enough air into my lungs, but it’s getting harder with each breath.
This can’t be it. This can’t be how it ends.
I’ve been in similar situations. None of them were this bad though. I can feel my body trying to heal itself, but I know not even the serum will be able to get me out of this one.
A tear rolls down the side of my face and I cough again as blood begins to trickle out of the side of my mouth.
This was supposed to be an easy mission. I can’t believe everything went so wrong. I just know that I’d do all of it again if it meant Yelena was safe.
At the thought of Yelena, my eyes snap open again. Everything is blurry, but I can make out that she’s no longer on the walkways.
Panicking, I try one more time to get up, but the pain that shoots through me almost instantly is so intense, I scream and fall back down.
No… I can’t leave before telling her I love her. She has to know. I should have told her. I can’t believe I haven’t told her.
Movement to my left makes me panic even more because I figure it’s one of the Hydra agents who’s come to finish me.
I feel around for my gun, but all I can get a hand on is a loose pole. It’ll just have to do because I sure as hell won’t be going out without a fight.
When the person finally comes into sight though, I cry in relief and drop the pole.
She lowers her own weapon when she recognizes me and rushes over, her hands settling on my chest and stomach close to the poles. “Oh my God, Y/N.”
I choke back my tears and take one of her hands. “I’m sorry,” I whisper desperately. “I’m so sorry, Nat.”
Natasha’s watery eyes connect with mine and she shakes her head adamantly. “No, no, no. Hey! Don’t you dare give up on me.” She raises a hand to her ear and says, “Tony, we need an EVAC immediately. Y/N’s down in the main storage area.”
I don’t hear Tony’s response because my comms device broke when I landed. The look on Natasha’s face is all I need to know that he won’t be able to get here on time though.
She desperately clutches my hand to her chest and scoots closer, wiping the blood off my chin. “We’re going to get you out of here,” she says and I know she’s saying it to soothe herself, not me.
“Nat,” I wheeze. It’s almost impossible to breathe now and all I want to do is close my eyes, but she needs so know. “Please—“
A violent cough cuts me off and I wince when I settle back down and see tiny specks of blood on Natasha’s face.
“No, don’t talk. You have to save your strength. You have to—“
I shake my head frantically and ignore the tears that continue to spill from my eyes. “Please, Nat… Tell her—“
Another cough and this time when I settle back down, it’s as though my body finally stopped fighting. The pain has been reduced to a dull ache and my eyelids are growing heavier with each second that passes.
Natasha notices too and pushes down on my stomach next to the pipe to stop the bleeding. “No, no, no! You’re staying right here with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes. You hear me?!”
I honestly don’t care about making it out alive anymore because at this point I know it’s impossible. I do need Yelena to know how I truly feel about her though, so I resist the urge to close my eyes and tighten my weakening grip on Natasha’s hand. “Tell, Y-Yelena,” I stutter. “Promise m-me you’ll tell her…”
Natasha frowns in confusion and abandons her task of stopping the bleeding. “Tell Yelena what?” she asks desperately.
Her eyes meet mine and for a moment the confusion remains in them. Then, as if on cue, they widen and understanding dawns on her. “Yelena?” she asks with a sob and I nod with a weak smile.
“Please, Nat…” I whisper. It’s barely audible, but Nat hears.
New tears spring to her eyes and she bites her lip to suppress another sob. “What do you want me to tell her?”
My lips part, ready to spill the truth about my feelings, but in the end nothing comes out.
“What do you want me to tell her?” Natasha repeats, shaking me.
I want to reply, I just can’t do it.
There’s no more air left in my lungs and my eyelids are starting to droop. It’s peaceful and I barely register my hand going limp in Natasha’s.
“No, come on, Y/N!” she screams, but it’s muffled and in the end I no longer resist the urge to close my eyes. “No…” Nat sobs but it sounds like she’s miles away.
Then another voice calls my name and the familiarity of it makes me smile.
I love you…
________________________________________________
Found this in my drafts and decided to finish it.
Part 5 of No Matter What is in the works…
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teecupangel · 10 months
Note
I once read a webcomic called Dreamless where, when the protagonist went to sleep, she saw the world through the eyes of another person on the other side of the world. And it was the same for that other person, when he went to sleep he saw through her eyes. If they were ever asleep at the same time, they didn't dream--they just saw blackness, and heard the ambient sounds of the room.
I'm just thinking idly about this, I don't have any plot. I just think it could make for a very cool and heart wrenching story for Desmond and Altaïr, in a modern, Altaïr isn't his ancestor AU. There was a historical figure who remade the Brotherhood during the third crusade. Modern Altaïr might even be named after him, descended from him. But when Desmond is first put in the animus, it's to relive Ezio's life. He never has that first experience as Altaïr.
Instead, he grows up with the strangest dreams.
(He knows they're not just dreams. They're too consistent, too coherent. But it almost hurts more, to know they're real.)
He grows up as Desmond, the child of Mentor William Miles.
He grows up as Altaïr, ward of Mentor Al Mualim.
He gets two lessons in how not to raise a child, though he won't recognize them as such for a very long time.
idk, I just think having them grow up and seeing each other--normally something like Dreamless doesnt work in a modern AU because the two people would reach out to each other while awake as soon as they could, to confirm the other person is real. But they're both in the brotherhood, after the Great Purge, in a world largely controlled by Abstergo. Things are scattered, chaotic. It's dangerous to try to track each other down in the real world, where someone might follow the trail.
Them growing up "together" like this, ghostly observers to each others lives, on equal footing, too far apart to help but still *there*--I think there's a lotta potential in that.
Here’s the webcomic Dreamless for those interested (Do note that the webcomic is filled with angst).
Anyway…
So…
We… might be able to do make this work.
According to https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/ there’s a 9 hour difference between Rapid City (which is the closest I can think for the Farm) and Syria.
So, for example, if it’s 3 PM on the Farm, it would be 12 midnight the next day in Syria.
This means that they can dream of each other.
(for the sake of this idea: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad is the legendary mentor from 12th century Levant, Altaïr Ibn-Umar is the boy that Desmond dreams. If you read Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, I’m talking about the 12th century Assassin, not the deuteragonist (and love interest) Altaïr)
Although, I do think we should not put Altaïr in Masyaf because Masyaf is such a hot spot. It would be a very ballsy move for Al Mualim to hide in such a well known past Assassin stronghold so it may be that audacity that kept them safe.
A safer choice would be somewhere in the Alborz mountain range in Iran, near Alamut castle. Alamut would hold some kind of importance to the history of the Brotherhood but not as prominent as Masyaf in the eyes of the Templars. That would give them a 9.5 hour difference which would make this idea work as well, and I think we should go for this route for one specific reason that will come into play later.
Either way, in this scenario, our POV would be Desmond, and he’d start dreaming of Altaïr after being born (the same could be said to Altaïr).
In this setup, I think Desmond and Altaïr would realize that they’re both training to be Assassins. I also think that they would try to contact one another, writing on a piece of notebook questions like “do you see me too?”.
Maybe they’d discover it by accident.
Maybe while Altaïr is dreaming of Desmond, Desmond just whispers in the safety (and emptiness) of his room after a hard day of training, “I wish I was Altaïr. That’s who dad wants as a son.”
And that’s how Altaïr realized that Desmond dreams of him so he would look at reflections for the following day, just going “Desmond, if you’re dreaming me… write my name on a piece of paper and write the date.” and doing the same by staring at a piece of paper for a couple of seconds that read “Altaïr Ibn-Umar, XX/XX/XXXX”.
And Desmond does the same the next day, writing “Desmond Miles, XX/XX/XXXX”.
Both of them do not know their exact location though.
All Desmond knew was that he was in the US, somewhere in South Dakota, in a place called the Farm that was near Black Hills or was on Black Hills, the adults always say either near or on.
Altaïr has it worse. All he knows is he’s in Alamut and they’re more isolated than Desmond, growing their own food and the only source of outside information was in the radio room that only Al Mualim could go to.
They both knew that they were being trained by Assassins and…
Here’s the thing.
Desmond’s main reason for running away are:
He didn’t believe that the Templars exist.
He felt so alone in the Farm and didn’t feel like he belonged.
But reason 1 would be taken out of the equation because Altaïr and Desmond would have been 13 when the Great Purge had happened. And to add more angst, Desmond dreamed helplessly of Altaïr screaming for his father to come with them while Al Mualim gathered all the children and run away from their old base (this could have been Masyaf) while Umar and most of the other parents stayed behind to be the distraction and decoy to give the others a chance to escape. Al Mualim is more or less their foster grandfather/mentor now because of this as the only other adult who survived was Malik and Kadar’s father, and he lost his arm in the process (I’m sorry but… this way Malik won’t lose his arm… hopefully???).
So Desmond knows that the Templars exist.
As for reason 2… Desmond knows where he belonged. By Altaïr’s side.
By that point, they would be reckless teenagers, sure, BUT Altaïr is smack dabbed in the middle of nowhere where the only thing he can see is mountains and… oh yeah, more mountains.
Even if the plan is for both of them to run away (and they have thought about it individually to find each other), Altaïr would have a hard time finding his way into civilization to even have a chance and Desmond won’t even know where to start looking (and that’s if he can find a way to even get to Iran in the first place).
That’s right, we’re placing Altaïr somewhere in Alborz to ensure these two don’t try to separately run away and try to find each other (look at that, I’m actively trying not to do a trope that happens quite a bit in my fics). XD
So, instead, they make a promise to one another.
They would both become Assassins and, once they start getting field missions, they would look for one another, leave each other messages in their dreams to where their current missions would be.
But then…
When Altaïr and Desmond turn 20, they are transferred into another location and that location?
Altaïr is transferred to Masyaf (or maybe Damascus since Masyaf is such a red flag).
And Desmond is transferred to Monteriggioni.
Where an Animus is waiting for them…
.
Al Mualim finally tells Altaïr the truth. Umar had been Al Mualim’s biological son and his real name had been Umar Ibn-Rashid, a fact that he had kept hidden because Al Mualim is the only known descendant of the legendary mentor Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad from his oldest son Darim Ibn-La'Ahad.
And Altaïr was named after that legendary mentor because Al Mualim hopes for Altaïr to be the next mentor of the Brotherhoods all over the world, to unite them once more and finally strike back at Abstergo. He believes what the Brotherhood needed right now was Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s successor.
For that end, Al Mualim tells Altaïr that he would learn everything the legendary mentor Altaïr learned using the Animus that he had gotten from an Assassin cell in Russia.
.
In Monteriggioni, Bill tells Desmond that he was the descendant of both legendary mentors: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad from his youngest son Sef and Ezio Auditore from his daughter Flavia. Bill thinks Desmond is ready to be an Assassin but he doesn’t want Desmond to just be any Assassin.
He wants Desmond to be the mentor that would reunite the Brotherhood and protect them because Bill believes what the Brotherhood needs is Ezio Auditore’s second coming.
.
And…
Here’s the kicker.
Tuscany and Syria? They only have a 1-hour difference.
So…
We can all eat up that sweet, sweet angst of Altaïr and Desmond not knowing if the other is alright or if they’re even still alive because there’s no way Bill or Al Mualim would let them have their own ‘schedule’.
.
.
Too angsty?
Wellllllll…
What we can do is that using the Animus counts as ‘sleeping’ so they dream of each other during that time.
BUT this would mean I can fuck them up using the Bleeding Effect.
Because this would mean they would both be simultaneously reliving the life of their chosen ancestor AND of each other reliving the life of the other ancestor.
In other words, Desmond would be reliving Ezio’s memories while dreaming of Altaïr reliving 12th century Altaïr’s memories and Altaïr experiences the reverse of that.
This would mean… both of them would have the Bleeds of Ezio and 12th century Altaïr…
And it would be a more severely Bleeding Effect because they are pretty much reliving 2 different ancestors as the same time.
.
So… you know…
Pick your angst poison (¬‿¬)
(sorry, I didn’t have Desmond get kidnapped by Abstergo in this one. If you want, Desmond could be taken while he was on his way to Monteriggioni instead so Desmond still gets kidnapped and we have sweet sweet “I’m powerless to help him and I hate myself for that” angst on Altaïr’s side)
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reiding-writing · 4 months
Note
Hey Red! I really enjoyed all of your writings especially because I am also a sucker for angst and hurt/comfort fic. Anyway, can I request fic about post-prison Spencer x reader (romantic) where the reader is the one who distanced herself from Spencer because after the first time Spencer released from prison, he doesn't want to touch anyone? Bet he'll be so heartbroken and thinking that she's over their relationship. Thank you! Sorry if it's too specific ❤️
distance [ s.r ]
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Spencer makes a show of physically distancing himself from his teammates after he returns from prison, and in trying to abide by that boundary you accidentally misread his intentions
WARNINGS: miscommunication, established relationship
pairing: post-prison!spencer x gn!reader
genre: ANGST, hurt/comfort, happy ending
wc: 1.6k
masterlist!!
a/n: gave this one a happy ending as an apology for transgression-
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You waited for 84 days to see him again; And yet now he’s stood here in front of you you can’t even bring yourself to speak to him.
He’s thinner than you remember. His cheekbones show more prominently. He has stubble lining his chin. His hair is more unruly. His eyes don’t shine anymore.
Spencer changed in those 84 days, and the second you caught his eyes a hairline fracture formed in your heart.
Gone was the Spencer who would light up at the most insignificant thing. Gone was the Spencer who would look at you with those sweet innocent eyes that would make you weak at the knees. Gone was the Spencer who would link his pinky finger in yours so that he could anchor himself to you no matter where you were.
Gone was the Spencer you knew.
Your Spencer didn’t exist anymore.
You watched as he swerved a hug from Morgan as he entered the office, clasping both of his hands behind his back with an awkward smile as he walked through the bullpen towards you were standing in front of his desk, eerily resembling the 23 year old Spencer who avoided everyone like they had the plague.
“Hey Spence…” Your voice is a lot more breathless than you thought it’d be, only amplified as you look into those gorgeous hazel eyes that you’d dreamed about being able to look into again for the past three months. “..How are you?”
It’s a completely unnecessary question Spencer thinks, it makes it sound like you’re just his co-worker and not the love of his life.
“I’m alright…” His eyebrows twitch when you take a few steps away from his desk as he nears you, like you can’t bear to be too close.
Then again, he probably looks like hell, so he can’t entirely blame you.
But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
“That’s good,” You press your lips into a line, nodding softly with your eyes flickering everywhere except his face. He’d been gone for 84 days, but you were treating him like you’d never met.
“I’m gonna go make some coffee-” You point lamely towards the kitchenette with your thumb, sliding past him to walk towards it as he watched you leave, eyes burning into the back of your head.
It was a weird feeling to say the least. You were ecstatic that he was home, that you could finally see his beautiful face again and know that he wasn’t suffering in a prison cell. But you weren’t sure how to express that. Whether you should express that.
You fumble with the coffee machine as you lose yourself in your thoughts. Everything about Spencer’s body language when he entered the office told you he wanted space, and you wanted to respect that.
You understood that he’d definitely been through a lot over the past few months and that he wanted time to collect himself before he let anybody else back in; But the way he looked at you when you moved away from him made you unsure. Did he want to be left alone? Did he actually want you to suffocate him with a hug like you were originally planning on doing?
You weren’t sure. And that was the worst part, because depending on which option you chose you could unintentionally swerve things into being worse than they already were.
You chose the safe option. Let him come to you. Leave him be and allow him to choose what he wanted.
He didn’t approach you for a few days, and you figured that meant your decision was correct, that he truly did just want some space to gain his bearings again and allow himself the downtime to focus on himself before anyone else.
You were wrong.
“Why are you avoiding me?” Spencer caught you right as you left the office, stood in the middle of the hallway leading to the elevator with an exhausted expression on your face after working for almost 10 straight hours.
You do nothing more than blink in his direction at his question, exhaustion morphing into confusion once your eyes catch him expression.
You could see his own tiredness echoed through the bags forming under his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped at his sides, but you could also see a flicker of hurt floating around in his gaze, seemingly amplified under the white florescents as if to torture you.
“I’m- not avoiding you Spencer,”
“Yes you are.” His tone is rigid, a stark difference from the soft and whispered tone you’d grown used to with him. It felt like having a bucket of ice water poured over your head, and as if to physically acknowledge that feeling, a shudder ran its way up your spine and into the base of your skull. “Every time I’m within ten feet of you, you make an excuse to leave.”
You can’t really argue with him there. You had been keeping your distance. But only because you thought that’s what Spencer wanted.
“Do you not love me anymore? Is that it? Am I too broken for you now?”
“What- No-” Your confusion turns into shock at his accusations, and you immediately shake your head in denial.
“Then why are you treating me like a stranger you’ve never met?” His tone borders between angry and upset, and you can see the start of tears forming in his eyes as he stares at you like you’d just ripped up a first-edition copy of his favourite book.
“I waited for the day i’d finally be able to see you again and now you’re acting like I never existed in your mind at all.” You can hear the strain in his voice as he tries to stop it from cracking under his emotions.
“Spence-”
“Have you moved on? You found someone better for you right?”
“Spencer-”
“I hope he makes you happy-”
He barely has time to get out the last sentence as you give a sharp tug on his tie and pull his face down to yours, effectively silencing all of his insecurities with a kiss. It’s soft but firm, and slightly salty. He must’ve started crying.
“I love you Spencer.” Your words hold no room for debate as your lips part from his, connection maintained through the way your foreheads press together.
“But you- Why did you- I thought…” His mind seems to run a thousand miles a minute as he stares at you, finally close enough to see the details of your face that nobody else had the privilege to know. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore…”
“Spence…” You shake your head as it rests against his, a firm denial of his doubt in your complete and utter adoration of him.
“But you kept moving away from me whenever i’d try to come over to you,” He speaks through stuttered breaths, his eyes squeezed shut to hopefully stop the tears that assault his cheeks, running hot down his skin and pooling underneath the curve of his chin.
“I just thought you wanted space baby,” Your thumbs move deftly over his cheeks, wiping away the streaks of tears and taking Spencer’s insecurity with them. “I saw you dodging everyone’s advances and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,”
“I don’t want space from you,” When he opens his eyes again, they’re big, round, and still glistening with the moisture of his tears. But most of all they’re filled with nothing but pure affection for you. “I never want space from you…”
You sure that if you keep eye contact with him for much longer that you’ll start crying yourself, so you redirect his head to lie against your shoulder as you wrap your arms tight around his torso.
“I missed you…” His voice is so quiet that if you weren’t holding him in your arms you wouldn’t have heard it.
“I missed you too Spence,” Your head rests against his, you hand rubbing soft lines up and down his spine over his shirt as he soaks in all the affection he’s missed over the last three months.
“Can I stay at yours tonight? Please?” His gaze is enough of a ‘please’ in itself, but the way his voice drops to almost a whisper when he adds the plea onto the end of his question makes it impossible for you to deny him. Although it’s not like you were going to in the first place.
“Of course you can Spence,” You place a kiss to his left temple as you carefully break the hug, taking his hand in yours to lead him to the elevator. “Lets go home,”
2K notes · View notes
cherryredcheol · 1 month
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just one secret
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tldr: you know what they say about assuming... a/n: reader is referred to as she/her/wife. this is as angsty as i'll ever be (and this isn't angst)
“okay, just make sure she doesn’t find out. i don’t want her to know.”
you stopped dead in your tracks. you weren’t trying to spy on mingyu and his phone conversation, honest. you had just woken up from a very peaceful nap and the plan was to go beg mingyu to cook for you, or at least pay for take-out. your blood ran cold hearing mingyu on the phone in the living room. you didn’t keep secrets from each other. or at least you didn’t keep secrets from him. you were under the impression it went both ways but suddenly you’re not sure. 
you knew you were jumping to conclusions. you’re not even sure what he was talking about. who he was talking about. it could be any other woman in his life, his sister or his mom. but how were you not supposed to spiral when you hear him whispering on the phone to god knows who about secrets? your stomach twisted uncomfortably. what were you going to-
“angel? you up? are you hungry?” mingyu was calling to you from the living room. he must’ve heard you down the hall. before you could even figure out what your next steps were going to be, he appeared in the doorway, backlit from the sunny windows, and you almost melted seeing him smile at you. but then that little voice in the back of your head reminded you mingyu was keeping secrets. 
“who were you on the phone with?” you had to play it cool, not wanting to alert him of your suspicion. you didn’t want to accuse him of something that was nothing. the best course of action here was to let him tell you. ask a few leading questions and let him fill in the blanks. if it really was nothing, he’d tell you. 
mingyu started walking towards you, holding his arms out for you. “it was no one, angel. are you hungry? i can cook or we can get take-out. what sounds good?” he had reached you at this point, wrapped you up in his arms where you stood stiff as a board. 
your thoughts were racing. why didn’t he tell you who was on the phone? what was going on? why was mingyu keeping secrets?
“angel?” he peered down at you, clearly waiting for your answer. 
you shook your head, clearing your thoughts, “i’ll eat whatever, gyu. i’m not picky.” you pulled yourself out of his arms, suddenly feeling suffocated by his embrace for the first time since you met him. “i’m going to shower real quick while we wait for dinner. okay?” 
you didn’t even wait for his reply before you abruptly turned and went back into the bedroom you had just come from. 
in the safety of the ensuite bathroom, you stripped and let your thoughts run wild as the shower warmed up. what was going on? things with mingyu had been so good for the last 3 years. you two were so in love, his members often complained about spending time with the two of you, citing nausea at the sight of mingyu’s lovesick eyes boring into yours. 
you jumped when you heard a knock at the door. 
“angel? can i come in?” you could hear the confusion in his voice. probably wondering why you had suddenly decided on a shower and not engaging in your usual bicker over what to eat for dinner. you two would go back and forth but mingyu always gave in to you, paying for your favorite take-out spot or cooking whatever you requested. 
you didn’t want to alert him to your strange behavior, still not sure exactly what was going on, “yeah, come in.” 
the door cracked open and he peeked his head in the steamy room, eyes searching yours for signs of what was wrong. he could sense it, of course he could. 
he entered the room fully now, not reaching out to you, but fingers twitching at his sides begging to touch all your exposed skin. he stayed respectful though, eyes never leaving yours. “um, i ordered your favorite sushi. hope that’s okay.” 
things were awkward, tense. “yeah. thanks.” 
mingyu sighed, “angel, are you okay? things were okay before you took your nap. did something happen? can i fix it for you?” he was desperate for answers, hating this distance between you two suddenly. he’s not even sure what was going on, he just knew you were not okay. 
you looked away from him, “yeah. i’m okay. just have a bit of a headache. i’m hoping this shower will help. thanks for ordering dinner gyu, i’ll be out soon.” you effectively ended the conversation, hoping he’d get the hint and leave. 
he did.  “okay, angel. love you,” he gave you one last lingering look before closing the door behind him. 
you did everything you could to drag the shower out for as long as possible but you knew you were being a bit ridiculous. mingyu didn’t deserve the cold shoulder and you’re not even sure if he did anything beyond having a suspicious phone call. pulling one of his shirts on over your head, you decided it was time to face him. if you stewed in your thoughts any longer you were actually going to go crazy.
the first thing you noticed walking out of the bedroom was the darkness of the apartment. all the lights were off and the sun had set while you were in the shower. had he left? 
“fuck!” 
that one little word pulled you out of your spiral. he hadn’t left, just turned off all the lights? you were confused, wandering down the hall pausing in the doorway to the living room, yep, lights off in there too. as you reached the kitchen you saw mingyu hunched over the kitchen table, trying and failing to light a candle in the middle of the table. one of many candles he had lit, you realized as you looked around the room. there were little candles all over the room, a soft glow illuminating the dark space. you could see that the sushi had arrived and mingyu set the table, making for a much fancier take-out night than you usually had. 
“hey,” you called from the doorway, softly to not scare the big, clumsy man holding a lighter above your dinner. 
he jumped anyway, spinning around to see you. he was apprehensive, nervous energy pouring off of both of you as you eyed each other. neither of you wanted to upset the other, doing this delicate waltz around each other's feelings. 
he smiled despite himself, “hey angel. feeling better?”
“what is all this?” you ignored his question, very confused as to what was going on. 
his hand went to the back of his neck, suddenly feeling embarrassed about all the effort he went to, “well, you said you had a headache so i thought you might like softer lighting in the apartment so your eyes wouldn’t hurt from the overheads.” 
you made him jump a second time when you burst into tears. mingyu stood there looking at you holding your face in your hands, sobs wracking your body, frozen for only a second before he jumped into action, crossing the room in long strides and holding you to his chest. you kept crying, the wet spot on his shirt growing larger and larger.
when your sobs turned to sniffles, he loosened his grip on you. pulling back only enough to look at your face. 
“what is going on, angel? please tell me so i can help.” he was pleading with you, begging even. it hurt him to see you upset like this, especially because he didn’t know what was causing it. 
you couldn’t look into his eyes, instead, you stared at his feet, clad in soft socks, one on either side of yours, caging you in. “why would you do all this for me when you’re keeping secrets?” you sniffled, tears pooling at your lash line, threatening to spill again. 
mingyu blinked, confused, “what are you talking about? what secrets, angel?”
you still couldn’t look at him, “i heard you on the phone earlier. you said, ‘make sure she doesn’t find out.’ what did that mean? and when i asked you who it was you said it was no one. are you keeping secrets from me, gyu?” you felt so small in that moment. all the air around you still as you waited for his answer. 
“angel,” he cooed at you. grabbing your chin and bringing your eyes up to meet his. “you heard me on the phone? that’s what you’ve been upset about this whole time? i didn’t even know you heard that.” 
“you still have not answered my question, mingyu.” 
he winced hearing you use his full name, “angel, i promise you i am not keeping secrets. well, just one. but i was going to tell you soon! it just wasn’t the right time.” 
you tried to back out of his grip but his arms tightened around you, keeping you against him. “we promised not to keep secrets.” 
he laughed, “i can’t exactly tell you about my plan to propose, can i?” 
you went rigid, “you better not be fucking kidding, kim mingyu.” 
“i’m not fucking kidding, angel. that was wonwoo on the phone earlier. he’s been keeping the ring hidden at his place for months. he’s dropping it off tomorrow and we had to coordinate when he could swing by because i didn’t want you to be here. didn’t want to ruin the surprise. guess that doesn’t matter anymore,” he laughed, squeezing you even tighter to him. 
you suddenly felt very stupid. and so guilty. how could you wreck his surprise like this? you felt like crying, “i’m so sorry gyu. i shouldn’t have assumed and now i’ve ruined the whole thing.” 
he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, “angel, you ruined nothing. you should’ve just asked me in the first place, though. could’ve saved yourself all this heartache.” 
belly full of sushi, comfort show playing on the tv, mingyu by your side, you have never felt more content. you loved this man so much and you couldn’t wait to be his wife. 
“wait, are you proposing tomorrow?” 
988 notes · View notes
just-jordie-things · 3 months
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the blackest day - fushiguro megumi
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
word count: 12.2k warnings: shibuya + light culling game arc spoilers but not very canon compliant lmfao. suggested major character death, heavy themes of depression (not reader) including: not eating, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness + suicidal ideation. mentions of needles, stitches, + blood. heavy angst with a happy ending. summary: megumi tried to tell her not to go to that station. all he can do now is think that he should've tried harder. more info: rivals/friends to lovers, lots of hurt/some comfort, megumi has reached ultimate functioning angst in this ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ it’s not easy for me to talk about // i have heavy heartstrings.  and not simple, it’s trigonometry // it’s hard to express // i can’t explain // ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
“I don’t care that they assigned me to go with Nanami,” 
Her voice came out in a huff, irritation getting the better of her, and it was starting to become quite noticeable.  Her chest was puffed, her lips were pulled into a snarl that looked completely unnatural on her usually bright features.  The hand that wasn’t holding a short sword was curled into a fist so tight it began to tremble.
“Itadori needs my help more” She finished, sounding sure of this change of plan.
Megumi cursed under his breath, this petty argument being the last thing he was in the mood for.  There was no time for some ridiculous change in team ups.  The pairings had already been decided, and had happened for a reason.  With a veil over Shibuya making communication impossible, a change like this was absurd.
“You don’t get to just pick and choose what you want to do, (y/n),” He snapped back at her, before aggressively pointing in the direction of Nanami’s team, where he and Takuma had just taken off.  
It hadn’t been until too late that Megumi caught (y/n) hovering away from her group, looking lost under a flickering street lamp as she gazed off in the opposite direction of her team, chewing on her lip as she worried about her other classmate headed for the train station.  Had Megumi noticed sooner, he probably wouldn’t be standing here fighting with her right now.  He probably could’ve hollered for Nanami or Takuma to circle back and drag her off if they had to.  But they were too far gone now to yell after, and his phone was useless.
“These teams were drawn up for a reason,” He muttered.  “Now you’ve rendered it useless” 
She rolls her eyes at his drama, turning to head off towards the train station, not caring about winning this argument.  There were more important things to do right now than stand here and bicker with Megumi.  She was getting tired of this repetitive game of his anyways.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He took a large step towards her, making her halt in her tracks before she could get very far.
“I told you,” She snapped back.  “I’m going after Yuuji.  Something’s not right.  I can feel it” 
Megumi’s eyes widened and twitched.
“You can’t be serious” 
“Does it look like I’m joking?” 
Her expression didn’t flinch.  He could tell by the hardness in her eyes that she’d set her mind to this new plan of hers, and no matter how stupid it was, he knew deep down she wasn’t going to waver on it.
“You’re not going off on your own,” Megumi scoffs, hoping he could get her to see that she’d be walking right into a trap if she split off by herself.  “Do you even know your way there?” 
“I think I’m capable of reading street signs, Fushiguro” 
Surname.  Ouch.  He was only succeeding in pissing her off.
“Just- god, just come with me, alright?” He suggests instead, thinking a compromise would sway her.  “Going off by yourself right now is reckless and you know it.  Come on.  If the roles were reversed you wouldn’t let me do this” 
Her eyes narrow, and she clenches her jaw.
“I’m not going to stand here and play the ‘what if’ game with you,” She told him.  “You’re wasting time.  If you cross paths with anyone, tell them I went after Yuuji”
“(y/n)-” 
Before he could come up with another argument- or resort to picking her up off the ground and forcing her not to go- she was already turning on her heels and breaking into a full sprint.
Megumi had tried to follow her, but she’d always been faster than him.  He called after her until his throat burned raw.  Eventually he had to go off with his own team, knowing if he strayed too far then he was putting himself at just as great a risk as she’d been.
But fuck, had he made a mistake in not pushing himself to follow her.
Even if they’d both died trying to get to Yuuji, he thinks it would’ve been better than this.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Megumi wakes up that morning looking like he was in just as terrible of a state as he had the day before.  And the day before that.  And every day before that for the last six days.
It had been a week since the incident with Shibuya, and with every day that passed and the more ground they covered, Megumi was starting to feel worse.
Yuuta silently offered up an apple he’d found at the last shop they’d raided.  Megumi barely glanced at it before shaking his head, going right to work rolling up the sleeping bag that was starting to get worn and dirty.  Yuuta frowned, crouching down beside the younger man to talk quietly with him.
“You should eat something,” He suggests calmly.  “When was the last time you’ve eaten anything?” 
Megumi tries not to appear annoyed.  He knows Yuuta is only trying to look out for him, he’d been trying to look out for everyone.  Unfortunately since the impact of Shibuya, it was hard to keep everyone in check and healthy.
“Ate last night” Megumi replied.
Yuuta frowned.
“You had a bite of a loaf of bread” He replied knowingly.
Megumi paused in his movements, his sleeping bag rolled up part way, and his eyes caught the beginnings of a hole that he hadn’t noticed before.  It must’ve gotten caught on some rubble or debris and torn the nylon.  He frowned at the supposed tear-proof material.  If it worsened it would be a nuisance, and if he was out of a sleeping bag, well, who knew when or if he’d come across another one.
Pushing that worry off for a later time, he glanced at Yuuta over his shoulder.  His face was blank, as it had been for the better part of the last week.
“You don’t need to keep tabs on me,” He said.  “I’m fine” 
Yuuta held his stare for a long moment, hoping that if he let the lie sit there for long enough, Megumi would realize how empty it sounded.  
But he didn’t budge.
So Yuuta sighs, standing and dropping the apple back into a paper bag and rolling it up so it’d tuck neatly in the backpack of supplies they’d been gathering.
“You know eventually, you’ll need to eat something,” He says matter-of-factly.  “If we come across something and you don’t have the energy to fight-” 
“I said I’m fine” 
Despite the harsh words, Megumi’s voice is monotone, and not all that loud.  In fact, he’s almost whispering.  It only sends a chill of worry through Yuuta’s demeanor.  He’d already been stressing over his well being- not to mention Maki’s, and Itadori’s- it was starting to be a weight on his shoulders keeping an eye on everyone.
It wasn’t that he was burdened by his friends or the guilt they bore, but after a certain amount of time, he just didn’t know how to help anymore.
Yuuji was completely unable to separate himself from Sukuna, taking on the destruction of Shibuya and blaming himself for the entire catastrophe.  All the death, the chaos, and where they found themselves now, the boy could barely keep it together.  Yuuta had only known him for a short amount of time, and even he found his behavior to be unsettling.
Maki had slain her entire bloodline.  All but her sister, who had died trying to protect her, trying to make her stronger, so that when she broke free from their twisted clutches, she was able to take down every single one of them.  Yuuta had barely approached the subject.  No one did, really.  Maki had briefly mentioned it when they all grouped together, and since then, it’d been radio silence.
And Megumi… well, Megumi was still beating himself up over (y/n).  It didn’t matter what anyone said.  It didn’t matter that Yuuji held onto some sliver of hope that she’d made it out of Shibuya before shit really hit the fan.  It was as though Megumi had tuned everything out.  They practically watched him dim before them, a burnt out bulb that wouldn’t light again no matter how much they prodded and tried.
For now, Yuuta let him be.  The gang packed up their supplies from the spot they’d crashed the night before, and without much talk at all began moving again.  Here and there they talked about direction, and brainstormed how to get around stealthily, but other than that, it was mostly a quiet journey.
Megumi remained completely silent.  One hand on the strap of his sleeping bag over his shoulder, the other shoved in his pocket.  Distantly he recognized that his stomach was aching and his mouth was dry, and he was sure he was also in desperate need of a shower, too.  But even as the thoughts crossed his mind, they seemed to float away and fade into nothing.  Just like everything else that tried to fill the time in his head, it was always replaced by the overwhelming gnaw of grief.
Maybe he didn’t deserve to eat.  It wasn’t like there was much food to go around anyways.  Wasn’t everyone else much more deserving of a healthier portion? What had he done in comparison to everyone else in this makeshift group of people who were once peers but now that Jujutsu Society had fallen apart… did they even have anything else in common?
Just as the mental downward spiral began, it was washed away once more by the reminder that it didn’t matter anyways.  Guilt and loss settled at the forefront of his thoughts again, and he kept his head down as he continued walking.
The ironic part about all of this was that if she had been here, she’d laugh at him and smack him upside the head.  Everything matters, dummy, he could almost hear her scolding him, with no bite to her bark, just as always.  She always had something dumb to say like that.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
“Stop being so gloomy, ‘gumi!” She’d hollered, followed by a string of laughter as she skipped up to him, turning her back to Nobara and Yuuji, who happily kept walking along to the next shop on their trip.
“Definitely don’t ever call me that again” He muttered back, crinkling his nose and narrowing his eyes in distaste for the nickname.  She laughed again, stopping just before him on the sidewalk, just as their friends entered a boutique, leaving them behind.
“Oh yeah?” She places her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow at him, and he wonders if she knows that their friends just abandoned them out here.  “Or what?” She asks defiantly.
He’d taken notice that when she was trying to instigate a bickering match, the corner of her lips tilted up in a proud little smirk.  She tended to get ahead of herself, always certain that she’d win whatever it was they were doing.  From petty arguments on the sidewalk to sparring to missions where she always wanted to compete and one up him.  Although after a while he had to admit it could be a little fun to show off on the easier-to-exorcize curses.
“Dork,” He rolls his eyes without a hint of genuine attitude.  When she gapes at him in mock offense he raises his hand to flick her forehead.  “C’mon, our friends dipped” He starts to head towards the shop Nobara and Yuuji had disappeared into, but she stays put outside.
“Yeah… I sort of let them…” She admits, a small, guilty smile stretching across her lips.  Megumi raises his eyebrows at her, smiling back in amusement.  Usually whatever those two were up to, (y/n) was following behind like an eager duckling.  “What?” She asks innocently.  “I just don’t want to spend all day looking at things I won’t buy and then carrying all of Nobara’s shit!” She defends herself.
Megumi laughs, a real laugh, his eyes crinkling at their corners and his shoulders shaking and everything.  (y/n’s) almost taken aback by the action, surprised that he looked so… joyful.
“Alright, you’ve got a point.  We have an opportunity here, and we should take it while we can” He begins to plot with her, and her smile stretches into a grin as she nods back at him.
“Bookstore and coffee?” She suggests quietly, as if it was more outlandish of an idea than it really was.
Megumi nods affirmatively, tucking his hands in his pockets before turning in the opposite direction, (y/n) following him right away so they could make it there before their friends noticed their departure.
She still pushed his buttons as they made their way to their destination down the street, but he couldn’t help but feel a blossom of warmth in his chest that for once he was the one getting her to tag alongside him.  He would never admit it, opting to poke back at her the rest of the day like nothing had changed, but it had felt… good.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The day that annoying chirping flyhead had announced a culling game, Megumi felt a glimmer of hope spark inside of him that he barely recognized.  It had only been nine or so days since the incident, but it seemed like ages since he’d felt optimistic about something- anything.  
But as the flyhead spouted off the rules to the games, he’d hoped that a lineup would be included.  Surely with so many sorcerers pitted against each other, there must be some condition of having all of the participants and their points on display, right? 
The others recognized a change in him then, an eagerness, an impatience as he barely took in what the flyhead was announcing, only waiting to hear what he wanted.
Announce the players’ names, he silently pleaded with the damn thing.  Say her name, tell me she’s a participant, tell me she’s alive.
But the rules concluded, the flyhead seemingly disappeared, and Megumi felt like a fucking idiot.
Yuuji and Yuuta shared a look, and the pink haired boy turned to give his friend an apologetic expression.  He opened his mouth to say something, but Megumi tightened his hold on the strap of his sleeping bag and kept walking before he could say anything.
He didn’t want to hear any bullshit about maybes or what ifs.  He just wanted to get to the next safe place by nightfall so he could lay awake on his sleeping bag for eight hours, and then repeat this whole cycle again tomorrow.
His ever so present grief and his growing hunger was starting to blend into a concoction that made him more stand-offish than usual.  The others had almost cracked, barely acknowledging him at this point, simply not knowing how.  Yuuji still tried, of course.  Forcing a water bottle in his face, or a piece of food that hadn’t gone totally bad.  He’d maybe had a few bites here or there in the last few days, not nearly enough to keep up his energy, but somehow he pushed through anyways.
Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t finding some hidden source of energy, he wasn’t persevering, and he certainly wasn’t living because he had to.  If he was being honest, he’d been wondering why his body hadn’t given out on him yet.  Nothing felt good anymore.  If it wasn’t numb, it ached, and neither one of those options was more of a relief than the other.
He wasn’t pushing through the unmovable force of his grief.  (y/n)... Nobara… Gojo… Nanami…  He wasn’t staying strong in their memory, and if anything, he wished his body would just give up already so he wasn’t such a burden to those around him.  Megumi spent most of his time in his own head, but he wasn’t completely oblivious.  He saw the way the others talked about him with only their eyes.  Short, worried glances exchanged on his behalf, each of them trying to silently convince the others to do something first, no one wanting to be the one to address it.
Tonight when he rolls out his holey sleeping bag and lays back on it, he stares at the starless sky and pleads with it.  He begs the rolling clouds and inky black night to let him close his eyes, just this once, so that he won’t have to open them again.
He can’t possibly spend another long night wide awake, thinking about his hunger, thinking about her, no matter how hard he tries to shove it all deep, deep down and ignore it.
As exhausted as he is physically, sleep never takes over his body.
A tear rolls out of the corner of his eye, trekking slowly down his cheekbone.  It lingers at his jaw, fat and wobbly as he clenches his teeth together as hard as he can stand it, desperate to make this tear the last.
It falls with a near silent splat against the nylon material he lays on.
The following little splats come in quick succession, seemingly a little louder as they fall one after the other.  Megumi chokes down the sobs to be sure no one else could catch wind of his breakdown.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
She momentarily glances up at him when he enters the room, only to scowl and turn away as soon as she recognizes it’s him.  Megumi fights the urge to roll his eyes, sliding the infirmary door shut and tucking his hands into his pockets as he approaches her.
“I’m not talking to you,”
Despite her sharp glare, he laughs at the ironic statement.
“I mean it.  I’m still mad at you,” She spits out, turning back to where she was stitching up the gash in her upper arm.  
It was a nasty thing to look at, and probably worse to patch up on her own, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d gotten back from an assignment too late to request Shoko’s help- and reverse cursed technique.
“Seriously,” There’s more of a bite to her tone when she plunges the needle through the narrow end of the wound.  “Just go”  
She’s hissing and clenching her jaw before pulling the needle through and doing it again, trying to keep her stitches even.  It wasn’t the easiest task with her non-dominant hand, but she didn’t want to show an ounce of struggle.
“You sure talk a lot for not talking to me” Megumi hums, still coming closer, despite her warnings.
He earns himself another glare, but he ignores it, stepping up to where she’s sat on the edge of one of the paper-covered cots.  She flinches as though to lean away from him, and he raises a brow at her.
“You want sloppy stitches?” He asks pointedly, voice hushed and lacking any emotion.  “Fine by me, have it heal weird if that’s what you want” 
He starts to step away, and (y/n) huffs.  Her eyes shut and her shoulders slump, and he takes her nonverbal defeat as his cue to pluck the needle from her hand and get to work.  She wouldn’t say so out loud, but she knew his hand was steadier than hers anyways.
He works quickly and diligently.  His free hand placed gently around her arm to make sure it stays still as he stitches up the gnarly cut.  She tries not to react to how cold it is to the touch, but her muscles flinch when he first makes contact.
“Sorry” He mumbles without much thought, going for the fourth stitch.
“For what, exactly?” (y/n) mutters back with a furrow in her brow.  “For your freakishly cold hands? Or for letting me take this hit back there?” 
Megumi doesn’t respond right away, opting to keep his focus on his needlework.  This only annoys her further, and he can practically feel it radiating off of her.  He knew it was a matter of seconds before she blew up at him, she was probably just thinking through what she wanted to say when she screamed his head off.  He could tell her to shut up and stop acting so childish, but he doesn’t.
And he’s not totally sure why.  If this was Yuuji or Nobara in her place, he’d be telling them exactly where they’d gone wrong on that assignment, and to top it off walk them through how they needed to shape up before they took another one.  
But it’s not Yuuji or Nobara.  It’s (y/n).  And his mouth stays shut.
Truth was she wasn’t necessarily wrong.  He had technically let her take this hit from a Grade Two curse with a horrific set of claws.  But had he not sent her that way, then she would’ve wanted to tag team the Grade One with him.  And this particular Grade One had a gore streak in the deaths it had caused around Tokyo.  And on that fact alone, he took it on himself, and ordered (y/n) to take on the Grade Two.
“I mean seriously what the fuck was that? You think you get to boss me around just ‘cause you’ve been doing this a little longer?” 
And here she goes.  He braces himself mentally for whatever she was about to throw at him.
“Or is it something else? Hm? You needed the ego boost? Needed to feel like some kind of big strong man, Megumi?” Her eyes narrow at him but he doesn’t cast her a single glance.  His focus remains on the steady movements of stitching her up.  “Did it feel good to play hero? Did you feel good exorcizing that Grade One and laughing when I let a measly little Grade Two take me down-?”
“I wasn’t laughing” 
His voice is quieter than hers, and significantly calmer, but it still manages to shut her up.  For a moment, her expression is blank while she still stares at him, and he still keeps his eyes on his task.  
A lump forms in her throat, suddenly making it very hard to insult him.  It remains silent between them as Megumi finishes up the last stitch, finishing it off perfectly and dropping the bloody needle on the tray beside the cot.  The metallic thunk echos shortly, and then finally, he turns his attention towards her.
To his surprise, her eyes looked wet.  She couldn’t possibly be holding back tears.  Surely the stitches hurt, she wasn’t invincible, but she was strong, and never showed weakness.  Even when that curse had grabbed her by the arm and he feared it was going to rip it clean off her body, she hadn’t cried.  Screamed and swore, sure, but not a tear was shed the whole way back to campus.
“Think what you will,” He tells her, eyes flickering between hers curiously, wondering what it was that would make her tear up now.  “But I’m not so callous that I would take amusement in your pain,” 
She tries to swallow the lump in her throat, but it only burns more, and she hopes that he can’t see the emotion on her face, she hopes that she’s expressionless, cold, even.
“In fact, when I sent you after that curse, it was for the opposite reason.  I was trying to do you a favor” 
“A favor?” She repeats, intending to snap the words back at him, but her voice is strained by her burning throat, and instead she almost sounds… lost.  Megumi can’t quite put his finger on it.
He nods his head once in a short motion.
“Sorry you got hurt,” He says, and he means it, but his tone still lacks any sort of emotion.  He plans to keep it that way.  “Just didn’t want to see you get ripped to shreds by a Grade One” 
He doesn’t say anything else, and he doesn’t give her the chance to reply, or even fully react to that statement.  Instead he turns around and walks right back out of the infirmary, not so much of a nod in parting as he shuts the door behind him and leaves her completely alone.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
When Megumi had found Yuuji after the incident in Shibuya, he’d ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, asking if he was alright and hugging him shortly out of the pure relief that someone was there, someone lived.  Even though Yuuji was in rough shape physically and mentally after everything, he was a person that Megumi could see and touch, and relief flooded through him like pure ecstasy.
“Nobara?” He’d asked, unable to finish the rest of the question.  He didn’t have to for Yuuji to understand.
Yuuji didn’t have to answer aloud for Megumi to understand.  His glossy eyes turned away, desperate for something else to catch his attention before he thought too hard about the fate their friend befell.
Megumi frowned, his throat going dry as he swallowed harshly.
He didn’t want to ask anymore questions.  He wanted to relish the lone fact that Yuuji, his best friend, was alive and standing in front of him.  He not only lived through the catastrophe but they’d reunited.  He wished he could hold onto that joy for just a moment longer.  But he couldn’t help himself from asking another burning question in his mind.
“A-and (y/n)?” He stammered out uncharacteristically.  His panic was evident in his wide eyes and tightening grip on Yuuji’s shoulders.  The pink haired boy looked back at him in alarm.  “She- she left Nanami’s team to come find you, did she?” He explained the situation poorly, not wanting to waste time talking if Yuuji had an answer for him. 
He doesn’t respond right away.
“Did she find you?” He asks again, his voice quieter as his features begin to fall.
His heart hammered in his chest in a way he’d never felt before.  A deep rooted fear he can’t recall ever having before, even as a toddler and fearing a monster under the bed didn’t hold up against the icy hot pins forcing their way through his bloodstream now.  His face felt hot as it went pale.  The back of his neck felt sweaty as a cool breeze hit it.  He was sure he was about to have a seizure, the panic was all too much.  The longer Yuuji didn’t give him an outright response, the worse the taste of bile in Megumi’s throat became.
“I did see her,” Yuuji finally mumbles out, dropping his eyes to his hands, which he held palms up and trembling before him.  “After Choso- the people that…” Yuuji coughs, the need to vomit suddenly pushing through his mind and throat.  “She was trying to exorcize them all,” 
He was struggling to explain what he recalled seeing that night.  It was all too brutal, and his mind was trying to push the trauma into a dark corner where he couldn’t think about it if he tried.  But this was important.  Megumi needed to know.
“She… she was crying,” Yuuji looked up at Megumi again, who furrowed his brows and shook his head.  “She knew they were still people deep down, like… Junpei” 
Megumi’s head shaking grew more rapid as he processed this all too slowly for his liking.
“And then?” He asked.  “And then what? Where’d she go? You got split up?” Question after question tumbled out of his mouth so quick his words began to slur together.
Yuuji wanted to cry just seeing him so worried sick, much less actually remember what happened.
“I… I didn’t see,” The pink haired boy admitted quietly, shame bringing his eyes downcast again.  “I’m sorry, Megumi.  W- we got separated.  But there… there were so many of them…” 
Megumi had stepped away, his hands falling from Yuuji’s shoulders, hanging heavy at his sides as he took a larger step back.  
“I tried to find her,” Yuuji’s voice cracked as he hoped to explain himself.  “Really I- I didn’t want to abandon her, I didn’t want to leave her there, not after everything she did to get to me- she- fuck- she probably saved my life showing up when she did!” 
He could register that Yuuji was still speaking, but Megumi could hardly make all of it out.  His vision was clouding over, and his entire body felt weak, as though he could collapse at any point.  He hadn’t even realized he was heaving until Yuuji, Maki, and Yuuta were crowded around him and helping him slowly down to the ground to calm him down.
He’d never had a panic attack before.
Finding out that (y/l/n) (y/n) had likely died along with countless others in Shibuya struck the first of several panic induced attacks.  Most of which he managed to keep hidden from the others, but some hit so hard and so suddenly that it was near impossible to work through it in private.
He’d been replaying Yuuji’s account of that night over and over in his head for days now, trying to find some sort of hope that she could’ve gotten out of that train station before all hell broke loose.  But with a hazy recollection and no other witnesses, it was hard to pretend that she made it out alive.
At first he’d spent time looking for signs of her as they traveled.  Any remains of camps he was sifting through, hoping to find that familiar necklace she always wore, or the shortsword she’d carried that night, something- anything that could point to a sign of her still being out there somewhere.
But now he barely lifted his head as he followed the group blindly, kicking at loose rubble and keeping a tight hold on his unraveling sleeping bag that was almost at the end of it’s lifespan.  There would be no use in holding onto a tattered rag of nylon.  
There wasn’t a chance he’d ever see her again.  His denial was beginning to fade, reality giving him a cold slap to the face to wake him up.  It was harsh.  It left him rough around the edges, literally and figuratively.  His facial features were sharper, and devoid of color.  His muscles were sore, only growing more so the longer he put off eating a proper meal.  If he kept this up he knew there would only be a few more sleepless nights until he didn’t stand back up in the morning.
And still, when he was offered a piece of food, he took a mere few bites before excusing himself to go lay on his ruined sleeping bag and stare at the sky.  
He cursed it when it was empty and dull.  He cursed it when it was full of twinkling stars and a bright moon.  It was never quite right.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
“Y’know any constellations?” 
Megumi startled upon hearing her tired voice creep up behind him.  When he turned to see her shuffling out of the doors in her bare feet and ducky-print pajama shorts and matching tee, he could almost laugh.  She was yawning, her eyes shut as she rubbed at them with the ball of her fist.  She looked like a child.
“It’s late” He muttered when she waddled up next to him sleepily.
“No shit,” She grumbles back with a roll of her eyes.  “So? Y’know any constellations or not?” 
Megumi wasn’t sure what exactly she was doing out here.  Had she heard him sneak out of his room to step out for fresh air? He’d left fifteen or so minutes ago.  If he’d woken her up, surely she would’ve followed him out here sooner than now.
Not to mention, she’d barely spoken to him since their last assignment together, and their sort-of argument in the infirmary.  The few times she had addressed him had only been out of courtesy to their present friends.  But even then, her eyes never quite met his, and her words were short.
“Actually, yeah,” Megumi hums thoughtfully.  “Tsumiki loved ‘em.  She used to show me when I was little” 
(y/n) nods, wrapping her arms around herself after realizing she wouldn’t relieve the ache in her eyes if she kept irritating them.  She lets out a soft sigh as she stands beside him, tilting her head back to glance across the sky.  She wasn’t sure of the last time she’d appreciated the stars.  It must have been when she was still a child.
Megumi clears his throat uncomfortably, before raising his hand to trace a pattern in the sky.
“Obviously that’s the Orion’s belt,” He says, before mapping out the rest of the hunter’s shape.  “The rest of Orion,” He mumbles, and he’s surprised when he glances down to see (y/n) carefully following his hand.  He wonders if she can see it the way he does, like the picture in the Astronomy book Tsumiki used to haul around.  Curious to see how interested she really was, he continued on to another constellation.  “That’s Ursa Major,” He says, tracing the shape out slowly to give her time to adjust to the image.  “And, uh, Ursa Minor is… there” He does the same for both bears.
(y/n) hums curiously, a small smile tugging at her lips in amusement.  She never would have guessed that Astronomy of all things was one of Megumi’s interests.
“Do you know what your star sign is?” He asks, dropping his hand and glancing down at her.  She raises a brow at him in surprise, slowly delivering her answer, half expecting him to come up short and sheepishly admit he didn’t know where that one was.
But he surprises her again, eyes darting around the sky for a matter of seconds before finding it in seconds and dragging his fingers along the main stars of her constellation with a great amount of ease.
“Alright, that’s pretty cool,” She finally confesses, shyly glancing up at him.  “You’re a pretty good brother for learning all of this” She tells him.
His attention is brought back down to her as soon as she says it, finding a soft smile on her face and a look in her eyes that he can’t quite decipher.  He thinks it’s akin to worry, perhaps empathy.  His eyes flicker between hers a few times as he tries to pinpoint exactly what it is.  She doesn’t shy away from his long silence accompanied by the eye contact that made her feel like she was an artifact under glass.  
It’s quiet for a while, until eventually Megumi looks back up at the sky again.  She wonders what brought him out here to begin with, but she doesn’t ask.  Instead, she clasps her hands together behind her back and admires the stars with him.
“What else can you show me?”
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
If it had been up to him, Megumi would’ve rather stayed behind at Jujutsu Tech to guard Tengen.  Maybe if he’d sat alone in the warping hallways of the school he could pass out from the mindfuckery of it all.  Then maybe, once Kenjaku arrived…
It doesn’t matter now.  Yuki and Choso had already decided they’d be the ones to stand guard.  He and Yuuji were already on their way to find Hakari, and there was no point in changing plans now.  Besides, he didn’t want to burden Yuuji any further than he was sure he already had.
“So, you’ve met this guy?”
Yuuji’s the first to speak, and Megumi doesn’t exactly have an answer.  He shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head side to side with a blank expression.
“Sort of.  I guess” 
Yuuji waits for further explanation, but after a few beats of silence, he realizes that Megumi isn’t going to explain what that means.
“Okay… well, do you think we can convince him to help us?” 
“Don’t know” Megumi replies.  
Yuuji frowns, and turns his gaze forward, fixing it straight ahead before slowly exhaling through his nose to ease his nerves.
Megumi glances at him out of his peripheral vision, and seeing his clear disappointment in his features, huffs out a breath and tries to explain himself.
“I met him for, like, a minute.  One time.  Before I was even enrolled at Jujutsu Tech,” He said.  
Yuuji turned towards his friend with a grin, eager to hear him opening up, or at least, trying to.  For once he keeps his mouth shut in the hopes that Megumi continues to talk.
“Gojo introduced me,” He went on.  “And I really don’t know if he’ll help us.  He’s a bit… eccentric” He mutters the last part with distaste.  
“Like Gojo?” Yuuji chuckles, and Megumi tilts his head from shoulder to shoulder once more.
“If Gojo had a gambling addiction so twisted it got him kicked out of school, then… maybe” 
Yuuji’s eyes widened, and he snapped his mouth shut before he could ask any other questions.  Megumi’s patience may have been thin- and perhaps nonexistent at this point- but he had a feeling that he should let his friend save up some energy for his social battery.  If Hakari is anything like Gojo, then he’d certainly need it.
When they stop to rest it’s not for long.  Yuuji gets Megumi to eat a bit more than usual, though not by much, he takes it as a good sign.  They rest just long enough to soothe the ache in their feet, but as soon as they’re moving again, the pain returns.  Neither one of them complained.
THe sun was just starting to set when they finally reached their destination.  Megumi stopped them both just on the perimeter of the territory.  An unsettling feeling spiking in his chest had his instincts telling him not to step any closer without a plan. 
Silently, he glances over to Yuuji, who’s already surveying the area.  He must have felt it, too.
“Cursed energy?” Yuuji mumbles, his brows furrowed as he meets Megumi’s hard stare.
The dark haired boy nods his head once in confirmation.
“Yeah,” He hums back.  “And a lot of it” 
It was impossible to ignore.  Cursed energy in great quantities had a natural buzz, like static electricity in the air.  This wasn’t that at all.  If Megumi closed his eyes and focused on it, he was sure he could feel the ground below him vibrating with thick waves of energy.
One thing was for sure, they were in the right place.  But whatever it was that was happening here put him on edge.
“Keep your guard up,” He muttered, stepping past the brush they’d been hiding behind and heading towards the building.  He tucked his hands into his pockets as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure Yuuji was following.  “And your expectations low” He adds upon seeing the grin on his friend’s face.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
“Arms up, Megumi!” 
Despite her offensive stance and the glow of cursed energy around her fists, (y/n’s) voice was full of pure delight.  Sometimes when Megumi would spar with her, he would be reminded of Maki.  He never understood why she never sought her out instead, surely the older sorcerer was a better match for her twisted delight with training.  Nonetheless, here he was on a Saturday, rolling his eyes as he raised his hands to keep his face behind his arms so that when she hit him she didn’t break anything.
(y/n) spoke as if she could read his thoughts.
“Skipping out on training doesn’t get you to Grade One, y’know,” She told him as they started circling.  “And if Yuuji can’t teach me Black Flash, I’ll have to learn it myself!” 
“Did you even ask Nanami?” Megumi grumbles, already knowing her answer.
She wasn’t one to ask for help.  Only ever requesting a training partner- or victim, as Nobara had once affectionately put it.
She didn’t give him an answer anyways, throwing a fist towards his exposed stomach, trying to apply her cursed energy at the last possible moment.  She not only didn’t succeed in using Black Flash, but she missed hitting him too, as he dodged with a graceful sidestep.
“If you’re so scared, why’d you say yes?” (y/n) asked, gearing up to find a weaker spot on him to aim for.
He doesn’t want to answer that, but she clearly isn’t going to make her attack until he gives her something, so he huffs.
“No one else would wake up at this hour on a weekend” He says lamely.  It feels like a lie when he says it, even though Megumi knows it’s the truth.  
It was seven in the morning, after all.  Yuuji and Nobara likely wouldn’t be awake for a few more hours.  If (y/n) needed a partner to train, her options were severely limited.
“Guess you’re right” She shrugs.
In the same motion she throws another punch at him, this time her cursed energy crackling in her hand, giving her some hope. But even though she landed a hit on his shoulder, it was still unsuccessful.
She groans loudly, to which Megumi scowls, seeing as he was the one that just got punched.  He rolls his shoulder to work out the ache before taking his defensive stance again, waiting for her to try again.
“You’re not in the right mindset” He points out.
She raises a brow at him.
“You wanna chase me around a bit?” She suggests, only half jokingly.  Megumi snorts, but stops himself before he could actually laugh at the idea.
“No,” He shakes his head.  “You should try something else” 
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” He huffs, annoyed for trying to walk her through a technique he’d never even used.  Still, he finds himself brainstorming another approach.  “Try psyching out,” He suggests, nodding his head as he thinks it through.  “It’d be more effective that way anyways.  If you’re using hand-to-hand with an opponent but don’t lead with it, you’ve got the element of surprise on your side, too,” 
(y/n) nods along with him, finding the advice to be surprisingly solid.
“So if you let them underestimate you, then catch them off guard, you’d probably be good as gold” He finished.
She beams at him as she raises her fists again, ready to take his advice out on him right away.
“Just remember you suggested it when I take you to the infirmary later” She teases.
Megumi smirks, widening his stance and raising his arms to protect his face again.
“You’ll still have to figure out the technique” He reminds, but the coy look on his face suggests that he had no doubt in his mind that she could master it in no time.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The inside of the building was so loud and rambunctious, it was downright overstimulating.  Megumi fought the urge to cover his ears as soon as they entered the premises.  Crowds of people swarmed multiple levels- he counted about six before getting distracted by all the pushing and shoving- and it was no secret what it was they were wildly rooting for.
“A fighting ring, huh?” Yuuji grinned, not out of delight for the sport, but surprise for the timing of a setting like this.  Did these people even know about the games?
“Great,” Megumi clicked his tongue bitterly as he surveyed the crowds with a furrow in his brow.  “Should’ve expected he’d pull some shit like this” He muttered too low for Yuuji to make out what he was grumbling about.
The squared ring where the current match was taking place wasn’t too far from where Yuuji and Megumi found themselves, but with all of the people in the way it made it difficult for them to see who was winning.  Too many arms in the air with money in their fists blocked the fight.  But it seemed whoever was up there was getting thrown around like a ragdoll.  The sound of a body rapidly being smacked against the rough mat or against the chains surrounding the ring were heard in quick succession.
However despite the sound of someone being brutalized, the match continued.  Neither of them have caught a glimpse of either combatant, but they knew it must’ve been an impressive lineup as it had been a few minutes of this now.
“Is this even legal?” Yuuji asked.  Megumi scoffed, although he wasn’t trying to deliver a rude response.
“Not even a little bit” He mutters back with a shake of his head.
Wordlessly, they decide they’re going to push through the horde of chanting people to get a better look at what was going on.  They pause in their shoving when a booming voice erupts from an intercom, the screech of an excited announcer sounding throughout the building and echoing across the concrete infrastructure.
“Place your final bets now!” He drawled every word out for dramatic effect.  “Will our resident Panda live to see another day?” 
Yuuji and Megumi locked eyes instantly, and without having to say a thing, began pushing and shoving forward again.  The sea of people cast them dirty looks and occasionally pushed back to scold them for their rude behavior, but they paid it no mind.
There could only be one Panda in that ring, right?
Sure enough when they got closer to the square, they could see the wide, furry expanse of a panda- The Panda’s- back.  His shoulders were trembling, not from pain or fear, but from the rambunctious laughter he let out.  He raised his paws, tilting his head back as his howl boomed.
Yuuji’s face brightened excitedly upon seeing their old friend.  Megumi couldn’t help but feel some relief as well.  Neither of them had considered the possibility of scattered sorcerers they knew being here.
They were close enough now that when Panda spoke, they could make out what he was saying.  The crowd around them was too busy screaming and chanting threatening cheers to care about what the fighters in the ring were saying to one another, but Yuuji and Megumi did their best to listen in.
“Just try not to knock me out this time!” Panda said through his laughter.
Was he throwing the fight? Megumi didn’t quite understand the context to this statement.
“Last time they didn’t bother to move me off the ring, I slept here all night!” Panda continued, his laughing ceasing as he took on an irritated tone.  “Ruined my back!” 
His opponent only laughed.  Something feminine and twisted, but undoubtedly genuine.
Megumi’s heart plummeted to his stomach.  He recognized that sound.
When Panda’s body was knocked back into the chains of the ring from a swift but heavy kick to the chest, his opponent was finally made visible.
A girl.  Not that girls couldn’t fight, but this particular girl had a cutthroat attitude when it came to fistfighting a bear.  It seemed every swing of her arms as she landed hit after hit on him grew faster in speed.  Half of her face was covered with a black mask, but the bloodied grin on her face was that of someone who believed they couldn’t possibly lose, no matter what beast of an opponent they might face.
Recognition flashed in Megumi’s face, making him go pale as he watched her strike two blows to Panda’s jaw so quickly it had to have given him whiplash, sending his furry head back and forth with such great force.
If Panda was throwing the fight, it didn’t really look like it.  He blocked a hit here and there with his massive paws, but she always seemed to move quicker to outsmart him.  Ducking and weaving around him with graceful feet and agile movements to keep herself from getting caught by him again.  Clearly she’d learned a lesson when he’d been throwing her around earlier.
When Panda did try to land a hit on her again, she grabbed his large wrist in one hand, still grinning as she used the momentum of his swing to swing herself forward and kick her feet into his chest.
The first from the right foot, directly against his ribcage, knocking all wind out of him.  
The crowd began to go wild, anticipating something Megumi hadn’t caught onto yet.
The second from the left foot, kicking lower against his stomach, making him curl over and heave.
But before he could catch his breath or clutch his stomach, she struck with her right foot again.  
The third and final blow came with a shock of blue energy, an abundant amount of cursed energy striking him in the chest so hard it sent him a few feet backwards, crashing into the chains and crumpling to the mat in a heap of black and white.
It was undoubtedly Black Flash.
She didn’t taunt him as the referee began his countdown before calling a knock out and declaring her a winner.  She didn’t strut around or try to rile up her fans in the crowd.  Not that she needed to, the people around Megumi and Yuuji were clawing at their own faces in astonishment from watching her take her opponent down with ease and showmanship.
And when the match was officially over and the announcer was hyping the crowd up for the next fight over the intercom, she slid out of the ring and left the area without so much as a wave.  It took a few minutes for Panda to get up, but eventually he was sauntering his way out of the ring too, waving to the few people who were his diehard fans and didn’t take his defeat tonight as anything more than some bad luck.
“Come on” Megumi beckoned Yuuji to follow him, his feet already moving as fast as they could take him through the mob, struggling to follow the exact direction that Panda and his opponent before him had gone.
Yuuji kept up fairly well, but Megumi wouldn’t have noticed.  He was driven forward by absolute panic, his heart racing in his chest with a feeling he’d thought he’d relinquished days ago when he’d tried to stop living in denial.
But he couldn’t get the image of that girl out of his mind.  She was so… he couldn’t get his hopes up.  Her laugh was so familiar he couldn’t have possibly mistaken it for someone else's… he shouldn’t get his hopes up.
“Yo! Panda!” 
Eventually the crowd thinned out enough that Yuuji tried using the power of his loud holler to get their friend’s attention.  Panda perked up immediately, spinning around and searching the crowd for the familiar voice.  It didn’t take long for his eyes to land on the waving boy with the unmistakable head of pink hair.  He grinned, and his ears twitched a bit as he turned completely and began to make his way towards the pair.
“Itadori!” He beams wider as he reaches them, as if they could have turned out to be figments of his imagination.  “Fushiguro!” 
He hugs them both at once before either could protest.
“I can’t believe you’re here! Did you come to see me fight?” He laughs at his own joke, shaking his head before they could even say anything.  “Really though, what are you doing here? It’s not as fun as it looks, y’know” 
“We’re looking to talk to Hakari-” 
“Who was that with you?” Megumi speaks up before Yuuji could begin his explanation.  
Yuuji turns to him with a confused look, which Panda shares for a moment, before he chuckles.
“She went down that way,” He said, pointing behind him in the direction he’d been heading.  “(y/n/n) always ditches fights fast.  Hates the crowd, I guess.  Not me, I love the-” 
“Wait, (y/n/n)?” Yuuji repeats the semi-familiar nickname, his jaw going slack and his eyes widening.
He turns to share a look with Megumi, but it seemed the raven haired boy was already processing just whose nickname that could’ve been.  His face was flushed so pale he looked sick.
“As in (y/n)-(y/n/n)?” Yuuji continues.
“Yeah,” Panda nods affirmatively, not understanding just how devastating his casual response was for the younger sorcerers in front of him.  “She’s-” 
“She’s alive?” Megumi finally speaks. 
His voice is hardly above a whisper, but the words are like a dropping bomb.  Clear, and unmistakable.
Panda blinks in shock, his features contorting in realization as he looks between his two friends.  He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t even know where to start.
So he nods his head, and turns to point down the corridor he’d been heading once more.
He gives them specific directions to where she’d been likely to go.  Megumi listens but doesn’t quite hear a thing he’s saying.  His heart is pounding in his ears, his body is going hot, and even once his feet are moving on their own accord- apparently having understood the directions just fine without his ears- he frets that he might break down into a panic attack if he’s not quick enough.  
The warning signs are there, the labored breaths, the hot and cold flashes in quick succession, his blurring vision- but he ignores all of it, racing through what was left of the crowd to slip into the near empty corridor.  Yuuji is hot on his tail as they dart through, eyes moving in all directions at every doorway and passerby, just to be sure that they wouldn’t miss her.
“(y/n)?” 
Her name leaves his mouth in a strangled choke of syllables, as though it were his first time speaking in months.  
She hadn’t been facing his direction, her hand still on the handle of the door she was about to open.  Her movements had been rushed, like she were hoping to sneak into the room and lock the door behind her as quickly as possible.
But now, as her hand stilled and a chill shot up her spine at the familiar voice, her movements were far too slow as she turned towards the owner of said voice.
Megumi and Yuuji are standing a few feet down the hall, their heavy footsteps having skid to a stop when they finally did see her.  She’s closer to them now than she had been in the ring, and although she still wore the mask, she was far more recognizable now.
Her hand trembles as she raises a hand to her head, pulling at the black material of her mask until it gives way, sliding off her head and pooling in the palm of her hand, revealing her face completely now.
Her eyes were wide as they moved between Yuuji and Megumi slowly, disbelief written in her features from the way her brows drew together, to the part in her lips but no words coming out, to the way her eyes began to water as they snapped back into reality and began to move closer to her.
“Megumi?” She drops his name in a mumble, barely audible even to herself, but seeing him here, right now, has her in such a state of shock that she could have believed Panda threw her around too rough and now she was experiencing delusions.
But then she’s moving too, her feet shuffling at first before picking up pace and running towards them once she’s close enough that she didn’t even need to.
“(y/n)!” Yuuji cheers when they’re huddled close together again.
“Yuuji!” She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight, rocking back and forth in bliss upon seeing her beloved friend safe and before her now.
When they part, Megumi still hasn’t figured out what it is he should even say.  He doesn’t know where to start, doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and suddenly feels so anxious he worries he might throw up.  To his luck, (y/n) acts before he has to, and she’s giving him the same warm welcome.
Her arms are tight around his shoulders, and her fingers curl into the material at the back of his uniform jacket.  She gathers the fabric in her fists, making sure that he won’t pull away until she’s squeezed every bit of comfort out of his embrace as possible.
And to her surprise, he returns to affection with more force than she would’ve thought.  One arm around her waist, keeping her snug against his chest, the other laying upwards against her spine so that he could bury his hand in her hair and cradle her head close to him.  He’s shaking, she can feel it, and she pushes closer until her face is buried against his shoulder, hoping to ease his panic.
“We- I thought-” He gasps between struggling breaths, and she’s never heard him sound so broken.  He drops his head so his lips hover over her ear when he finds his voice again.  “I thought you were dead” 
Her heart spikes with an odd feeling, and she squeezes him a little harder before pulling back.
“Alive as ever” She says with a weak smile and an awkward shrug of her shoulders.
Megumi has to shove his hands into his pockets to hide their obvious trembling.  The rush of adrenaline in his system hadn’t quite worn off yet, and at this rate he wasn’t sure that it would.
“Well what happened?” Yuuji asked.  “How’d you end up here?”
She lets out a humorless chuckle before wincing.  
“It’s… it’s not an interesting story,” She explains, then beckons with her hand to have them follow her back to her door.  “Here, I sorta have my own space, if you want to come in I can tell you about it, and then you can tell me what you’re doing here, too” 
Yuuji begins a long winded rant right away.  He tells her all about meeting Yuuta and dying again, and despite Megumi sending him a dirty look for going into too much depth about the parts that didn’t matter as much, (y/n) was an attentive listener, taking in every detail and asking him questions, too.  A lot about Yuuta, seeing as she hadn’t crossed paths with him in months, it was good to know he was still out there and on their side.  Yuuji continued on about the culling games, and how they had come here originally looking for Hakari.
“But then we found you and Panda- hey wait, do you know Hakari?” Yuuji asked excitedly.  “Maybe you could talk to him for us-!” 
Her eyes widen with uncertainty, a nervous smile stretching over her lips as she shakes her head quickly.
“I- I don’t know about that,” She tells him.  “He doesn’t really come out much, I think I’ve seen him once since getting here.  I wasn’t exactly trying to get on his radar.  He doesn’t love those affiliated with Jujutsu Tech, you know” 
“What? Why! He must like you, your fight was very entertaining!” Yuuji gushes.  Megumi sends him another look that he ignores.  “And you mastered Black Flash! He’s got to be interested in- ow!” 
Megumi smacked his hand upside the back of Yuuji’s head, making sure this time that he didn’t miss the look he was giving him.  His displeasure wasn’t exactly subtle.  (y/n) laughed through her nose at the pair that hadn’t seemed to change too much in their time apart.
Besides the fact that Yuuji had a few more scars on his face.  And Megumi looked like he had lost a bit of weight.  Besides that, their demeanors hadn’t changed one bit.  For a second at a time, she could pretend things were normal again.
“Go find Panda and tell him our plan,” Megumi orders gruffly.  “See if he has any ideas on how to get Hakari to see us” 
“What? But-!” 
Megumi widened his eyes, silently telling Yuuji to go.  The pink haired boy huffed, but stood from his seat on the floor and shuffled towards the door.
“And keep a low profile!” Megumi called, only for Yuuji to wave him off nonchalantly before shutting the door behind him.
(y/n) chuckled when it was just the two of them, turning to face him again.
“So,” She breathes out a heavier exhale than she’d expected.  “How’s he really holding up?” 
“How you’d expect,” Megumi replies honestly.  “It was really rough for a while.  We all were… pretty messed up.  Still are, I guess” 
(y/n) frowns.
“Yeah,” She mumbles.  “Shibuya… was…” She drops her head before she could finish her thought.  There wasn’t a word strong enough to explain the devastation of the incident.
Megumi’s fingers begin to twitch, fiddling and locking together as he thought over what he wanted to say next.
“Look, before we…” He starts, but loses momentum quickly.  He clears his throat to try again.  “When I last saw you, I-” 
“It’s okay,” (y/n) cuts him off before he could say anything more.  The face he makes is uncertain, and she gives him a nod as she repeats herself.  “Really, Megumi, it’s okay.  It was just a fight, it didn’t mean anything” 
“But I-” He starts, only for her to shake her head again.  “But it did mean something” He argues.
“We fought a lot, Megumi,” (y/n) chuckles.  “Trust me, if I was holding onto resentment over every time we ever argued, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now” 
“No- not like that,” Megumi shakes his head.  “It meant something because you left and I- I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, (y/n),” His voice holds a grave tone that has her kind smile faltering and her brows pinching together as she watches him.  “Yuuji said he lost track of you when you were dealing with all the transfigured humans and- and then you were just gone” 
(y/n) blinks, her mouth opening and closing a few times as she realizes just how long it had been since they’d seen each other.  How long he must’ve carried around guilt and grief over her.  It makes her heart sink, and she shuffles forward on her knees to sit closer to him.
“I got dragged out of the train station pretty quick,” She tells him.  “There were so many of… them… and I knew that I was worrying Yuuji while exorcizing them.  Cause- cause it didn’t feel like exorcizing,” 
Megumi nods, recalling how Yuuji had told him she’d been crying during the whole ordeal, something quite out of character for her.  Even now as her eyes begin to tear up, the sight is alarming.
“It felt like… like killing,” She whispers.  “So I started leading them away and got outnumbered and got dragged out further.  By the time I… once they were all gone, I was out of it.  I must’ve passed out or something, because when I came to, Shibuya was… gone.  I tried finding you- I tried finding anyone-” She tries to catch her wording, but she’s not quick enough.  “But it was just rubble and dust.  It was nothing.  After a while of trying to find somewhere to land to… to rest and regain some strength, I found this place and Panda with it and I just… stayed.  It sort of started to feel like this is all that was left,” 
She lets out a shaky sigh, rubbing her clammy hands over her thighs to relieve some of the stress building up in her body.  It doesn’t do much, but she continues the action a few more times.
“You know, I didn’t necessarily think I’d ever see you again, either,” Her eyes are downcast as she speaks.  “For a while I wondered, um, if you’d show up here…” 
“Sorry it took so long,” Megumi replies quietly.  She lets out a short, watery chuckle.  “But we’re here now,” He adds, moving closer to her, until she looks up at him, surprised by the sudden close proximity.  Her eyes are wide as they flicker quickly over his face, trying to read his expression.
It was a new one for Megumi, one she’s not sure she’s ever seen on him before.  Except maybe the night in the infirmary, when he’d stitched up her arm.  Her face feels warm, and she can’t decide if it’s because of the memory, or if it’s because of how close he is to her.
“And I’m not going anywhere without you” He tells her.  His voice is low, but instinctively, she doesn’t feel a shroud of doubt in his words.
She blinks to try to rid the tears from her eyes, but after reliving the last week and a half, and reuniting with the people she’d been naively hoping were just missing and not gone was starting to get on top of her.  She’d spent quite some time shoving down bitter thoughts and choosing to stay in denial.  As long as she focused on her matches and made enough of an earning to have a place to crash, she tried to stay as blissfully ignorant as possible.
Still, there had been a few sleepless nights when she’d wander outside and try to find a few constellations in the sky, or when she’d lay wide awake and let the tip of her finger trace over the perfectly straight scar on her shoulder.
“Really?” 
The question comes out with a shaky breath.  She held no uncertainty in him, Megumi was a man who was always true to his word, but reality was beginning to settle in and the urge to hold on to him and never let go was growing stronger.
Megumi nods, clearly amused that she even had to ask.  It felt like the first time in a long time that a smile began to twitch on his lips, the muscle feeling awkward from underuse.  His eyes gleam as he reiterates his intentions.
“We’re not splitting up again,” He tells her, a weight hanging on to each word.  His eyes move between hers, and when she blinks, a tear sticks to her lashes.  “I’m not losing you again” He adds in a smaller voice.
A choked sound that almost sounded like a laugh comes out of her as she nods back at him, shaky and fast.  For once, agreeing with him completely.
To (y/n), there had always been something about Megumi that drew her to him.  He was easy to pick on, easy to tease and laugh at.  She found joy in their banter, even when it was less petty and more serious, there was a magnetic spark between them that she just couldn’t deny.  She’d tried to explore that feeling, before Shibuya.  But she’d never known how exactly to approach it, always becoming apprehensive of the foreign feeling.
Now, it felt so easy to jump into the unknown territory that she felt silly for never having worked up the courage to do so before.  The fear of losing someone she cared so much about was too great, and there was no time to waste.
Her tear dropped onto her cheek, the fat droplet rolling slowly across her skin until it dipped into the edge of her wobbly smile.  A few more followed shortly after, unable to be stopped no matter how hard she willed herself not to cry.
Just as she raised the back of her hand to hastily rub the wetness away, Megumi beat her to it, moving closer to her as both hands worked softly to catch each tear.  They were cold against the hot wet skin, just as she’d remembered, and she found herself shutting her eyes and leaning into how comforting they felt.  The tears didn’t stop, but she didn’t seem to be in any anguish.
“I’m not losing you again either,” She whispers, her fingers skimming over his wrist before she clasps her hand around it, making sure he doesn’t pull away just yet.  “I- I can’t” The words come out in a small whimper.
Megumi nods in understanding.  His thumbs swiping across her cheekbones, and softly under her eyes, trying to catch every last tear.
“I know,” He says softly, still nodding as his eyes wander her features, making sure there weren’t any lingering tears he’d missed.  “I know, and you won’t, ‘m not goin’ anywhere” 
When their eyes lock again, she’s overwhelmed by an influx of emotion.  An eagerness to have him back by her side, a desire to keep him there next to her and never let him go, to never let anything take him away again.
“Listen, ‘gumi, I-” She tries to put words to the feeling, wanting to explain to him that having him here with her was sending her heart into orbit, wanting to tell him that knowing he was alive and he was okay was the first time she’d felt happiness in what seemed like weeks.
But the words are too difficult.  They’re too big and they get caught in her throat.  Rather than try to force them out, she acts on it instead.
Megumi anticipates the movement before she leans forward, catching the way her eyes rapidly shift between his and his mouth.  He reciprocates the look, curious to see if it meant what he’d thought it did, but just as quickly as his eyes land on her parted lips, she’s shooting forward and pressing them against his.
It’s a rushed kiss at first, full of anxiety and grief that hadn’t fully been relieved yet.  It’s  messy lips and clashing teeth, but once they both realize that whatever this feeling was, it was reciprocated, they relaxed.
Megumi sighs through his nose as he cups her cheeks and keeps her close, kissing her a little more softly, a little more deliberate in his need to display to her just how much he’d missed her.  In turn, (y/n’s) hands rest against his shoulders, squeezing just firm enough that he could feel her there, without being too aggressive.
Kissing her like his life depended on it made him feel like everything could turn out alright now that she was with him again.  Now that he was sure she was here, feeling the heat in her cheeks, and her soft breaths against his cheek, Megumi thinks his life had depended on this.
Up until about an hour ago he’d been mentally checked out since Shibuya.  Seeing her again brought him back a sense of purpose he hadn’t even really noticed he’d been losing.
Her hands are gentle when they card into his hair, combing softly through the dark locks that seemed a little longer since the last time she’d seen him.  He sighed at the sensation, unintentionally breaking their kiss.
The tips of his hair tickle her skin as his forehead drops to rest against hers.  (y/n) lets out a soft, breathless giggle before opening her eyes.
He’s smiling at her.  So full of delight that his blue eyes seem to gleam, and they’re crinkled at their corners.  She can’t help but smile back at him, her heart full and her face warm, even with his cool hands still holding it.
Megumi moves then, fingers catching a loose strand of hair.  He twirls it thoughtfully for a moment before tucking it behind her ear carefully, and laying his palm across her cheek again.  His long fingers splay out, wanting to touch as much of her as he possibly can, just to keep sure that she really is in front of him.
“No more runnin’ off, alright?” He murmurs, the tip of his nose grazing hers.
Her hands latch behind his neck, her focus on his lips as she thinks about kissing him again.  They linger there for a moment before shyly meeting his gaze again.
“Don’t let me go again” 
He shakes his head, a silent vow to never do anything to push her away again, and even if he fails to keep her by his side, he swears he’d follow her, wherever she may go.
With his eyes falling shut he leans in again, lips grazing hers as he speaks.
“I won’t,” He murmurs, and then once more before he seals their lips again. “I won’t” 
She could never part from him again.  She loved him too much to even conceive the idea.  What was next to come would be difficult, she may not have known Hakari very well personally, but she knew enough to be anxious about approaching him.  He was a bit of a loose cannon.  However she was sure that with Megumi- and Yuuji and Panda of course- they would come up with the right plan of action to gain his help.
With needy hands and a needier heart she clings to him now, just to be sure that she could never look back and regret not holding onto him tight enough.  He does the same, dropping his hands to circle his arms around her waist and pull her in impossibly close to him.
Whatever it took, he’d keep hold of her for the rest of their lives.  Nothing could ever take her from him again as long as she was right there in his arms.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ i got you where i want you // you did it, i never // i’m falling for forever ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
xoxo ~ jordie
568 notes · View notes
eyebagshawty · 3 months
Note
Hey, I really like your works! I wondered if you could make something about suicidal reader and astarion, gale, halsin and anyone you feel like.
But only if you're comfortable with it. Some general hurt/comfort would be ok. Best inspiration 💛
Blurbs for Male Companions Comforting a Suicidal Tav
Pairings: Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Wyll
Warnings/Tags: some canon typical violence, suicidal thoughts/ideation, suicide attempt, angst, comfort, some are durge Tav, probably a dead dove do not eat situation
A/N: As someone who struggles with this type of thing daily, I really enjoyed expressing my interpretation of this; it was therapeutic in a way. These are blurbs, so it may not be as developed as I would like, but I hope you guys like it! Let me know if you want a part two with the ladies :)
Astarion
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Marcus had kidnapped Isabelle. The sweet cleric had welcomed your party into the arms of Last Light Inn, and somehow you were too weak to save her. It was your fault.
Your. Fault.
Astarion had comforted you after, saying you couldn’t have known you would need every last bit of your magic to give your help. You couldn’t have known you would need to rest. It was just as much of a surprise to him, to Shadowheart, to Karlach. But the more you stare at Nettie’s wyvern toxin — more of a keepsake at this point than a tool for battle — the more you decide you should’ve known. Jaheira’s expression after Last Light had fallen, it’s burned into your memory. You had promised her your only intention was good, but there was still something in her eyes that showed blame.
As you watch your companions move around camp and settle next to the fire, your left hand subconsciously lifts your dagger from its holster; your right hand coming up to your mouth to open the seal of the wyvern toxin. Where could you even go from here? There was no moon lantern, but no reason to go back. You don’t even have anywhere to go back to if you think about it.
You really are a monster, the tadpole your own scarlet letter. The dagger is slathered with the wyvern toxin, and as you smile at your lover from across camp the dagger makes a shallow slice into your thigh just out of sight.
“I think I’m gonna head to bed guys, we’ve got a lot to plan tomorrow about where to go from here,” you mumble, your eyes slightly glazed from the poison entering your system. Your companions nod in agreement, each one heading to their tent to prepare for bed. Astarion, however, watches you. His brow furrows, and he’s about to offer for you to sleep in his tent again, but you’re already in front of him. “Hello love, I know it’s a bit early into, well, us. But I was wondering if I could sleep with you tonight.”
Astarion gently takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles. “Of course my sweet,” he whispers. But the closer you get to him, the weirder you smell. He can smell the familiar bouquet of your blood, just a trace of it, but there is a sour note in there. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” As he looks back up to your eyes you let out a sob you’d been holding since earlier that day. His eyes widen; he isn’t good at comfort but for you he can try. “Darling what’s wrong?” He prods, needing to help you in your state.
You feel you can’t verbalize it, so your tadpole nuzzles up to his, asking for entrance. He accepts, and the images of your actions, your thoughts, your feelings flood into his mind. After the connection breaks you crumple to the ground, the poison entering the later stages.
Astarion’s thoughts immediately clear as he stares down at you in horror. He gathers your body into his arms and runs to Shadowheart, your seemingly now small and delicate form writhing within them. Shadowheart stands as she sees him running. “What happened Astarion?” She sternly quips, her eyes softening at the sight of you.
“They… it was one of those winged horrors. It poisoned them. Please help them. Please.” Astarion looks down at your eyes as they twitch and gaze blankly towards the sky. Shadowheart eases an antidote and a greater health potion into your mouth. Once you have your faculties about you once more, you lean your face into Astarion’s chest and weep. “Shh my love, let’s get you to bed.”
He lays you down gently to the various pillows in his tent, his every vein screaming to run. He isn’t ready for this kind of care and work a relationship requires. What am I thinking? It’s Tav, not some sorry bloke from a tavern. Get yourself together.
“I’m sorry. That was a pathetic idea for me to have, I know you might not want to explore this any further and I’ll still help you with-“
“Don’t be ridiculous, darling,” he mutters as he strokes your cheek with his fingers. “I’ve been right where you are before. Nowhere to go further but nothing to go back to, hmm?” You nod and he gives you a sad smile. “I find that I’m more happy than ever to be alive right now. Well, unalive but that’s no matter. I have you. We will find a way to get that damned moon lantern. I’ll bite everyone in this camp to take a break for a day. Whatever you need. I’m here and I… I love you.” He definitely didn’t think of saying the L word now of all times, but as a surprise to him it feels perfectly right.
“I love you too. Please just hold me.”
And so he does.
Gale
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As you wake to the blinding light of the sun, restraints tug at your wrists. The memories of the last night come flooding back into you. The fear in Gale’s eyes as you bit at him that he had tried to hide, the way you kept failing to break through the urges to speak to him. He was so sweet to you. He didn’t deserve it. You love him.
“Glad to have you back with us my love,” Gale whispers into your ear as he frees your wrists and ankles from the restraints. He helps you to your feet and leads you to the fire. “Breakfast is ready. You told me your favorite is an omelet with bacon and some tea?”
“Yes, but you didn’t have to do this for me. I was being dreadful to you,” you mutter, looking down at the food.
“Of course I did. Our love knows no bounds, right? Now, eat. Baldur and his gate are waiting for us.” He kisses your head and you force a smile, shoving the food into your mouth as if you aren’t sick to your stomach with yourself.
-
The fight in the astral prism had put everyone off kilter. When you had found out the protector in your dreams, the person you needed to trust with your life, was a mindflayer, you only wanted rip each tentacle off its face and eat them as it watched. You did trust it. You were just so deplorable you thought its intestines would look beautiful around its neck to hang outside of your tent as decoration.
You can’t stand yourself anymore. Not just your actions, but your body. The urges make your body hurt, make your head pound and your stomach wretch. You never see a person in the mirror, you see a diseased sack of flesh squealing to be kept alive.
Gale holds you in his lap, leaving soft kisses on your neck as he reads one of his unusually large tomes. You feel disgusting. You will never deserve something nice like this. “I’m going to go see if I can spot the city from that building over there love,” you whisper as you kiss his cheeks and stand up, your stomach twisting as he gazes at you with loving eyes. He can’t love this, can he?
“Do you want me to tag along? I love a good tower as much as the next wizard,” he asks softly as he rubs your sides with his warm hands. You shake your head and force another smile. His brow lightly furrows but he shakes it off and presses a kiss to your lips in parting.
You find yourself sitting on the edge of the tower roof overlooking all of Baldur’s Gate. It has been a couple of hours, and you decide you don’t want to know any more about Orin or the makings of the absolute. Something in your mind tells you it will be the end of a lot of things if you find out. You shakily stand, letting out a ragged breath as pebbles skitter off the edge from under your feet. You close your eyes, exhale, and lean forward, when you fly through the mist into Gale’s tent. You let out a broken cry as warm and strong arms wrap around you, smelling of parchment and tea leaves.
“My love, I’ve felt the immanence of our situation for a while, and when Mystra abandoned me I thought I was as good as a newborn gnoll, destined for nothing but madness. But darling, what were you thinking?” He mutters into your hair.
“The urges won’t- nothing will stop. At my core I’m evil, something to be exhausted. I can’t-“
“Tav, I wouldn’t be as in love with you as I am if these things you said about yourself were true. I would give up my tressym to Astarion if it meant I could relieve any of your pain. Don’t tell her I said that though, Tara would never let me hear the end of it.” You let out a quiet chuckle, his dry humor always helping. “Now let’s sleep, no matter what this packed and unforgiving city does to us we will get through it together.”
“I love you, please, please don’t leave.”
“I would never dream of it.”
Halsin
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Orin has captured Gale, and you feel helpless. Did you really not know your friend well enough to see that a shapeshifter was in his place? You have known him for months at this point. And yet, it was your fault for not checking in with him. For getting in that petty fight over the crown of Karsus that made you both ignore each other.
As you and your party trudge once again through the sewers, Astarion and Shadowheart both bombard you with questions about their personal needs within the city.
“Shadowheart, I understand we need to go to the House of Grief but Gale could quite literally be dead right now,” you assert softly, trying to show that she means just as much to you.
“Ugh, Gale. Of all times we have to be in a pickle it has to be over him and right now,” Astarion mutters to himself. You try to push down your frustration but the smirk on his face pushes you over the edge combined with his next words, “You’re the one that’s supposed to be making the rounds, darling. I can take Shadowheart to the house, and you and bear boy can find the bootmuncher.”
As shameful as it is for you, tears burst from your eyes as anger and anxiety take over. “So go. I don’t care anymore since you have never gone out of your way for us. I… fuck!” You slam your sword onto the ground and walk yourself back to cool off.
As Astarion builds up his retort, hurt and defensiveness flashing across his expression, Halsin steps in front of you protectively. “Calm down, Astarion. This does not need to be a fight. Let’s just break for the day. Come, my heart.” As he takes your hand comfortingly in his, you feel a gnawing dread seeping into your bones. This was all your fault, and you keep burning bridges with people you care for and you don’t know how to stop.
At the end of the day you find yourself in the middle of the woods, further from camp than Halsin liked, but it was your privacy; you asked for it and he would respect it. You stared down at your sword, your hands jaunting out to hold it at an awkward angle towards your chest. It had been like this for around an hour; you couldn’t even do this correctly, thinking about how everyone would grimace if they found you like this . Fuck it.
As the knife glides through your padded armor, a large hand places itself on your shoulder. It’s warm, and it smells like herbs and cinnamon. “My heart, please. This is not the way. We’ve come so far on this journey, together, and almost nothing has ever gone wrong. Silvanus guide me, please speak. I need to hear that you are okay,” Halsin chokes out, his voice thick with concern.
“It’s just… I would have known if Gale was acting weird. If I hadn’t pushed him away. I’m doing the same to Astarion, I’ll do it to all of them. When someone goes Illithid it will be on me. Hells we’re taking a break and he could be anywhere.”
“As much as we all love you little one, there is no leader. Nobody could have seen that coming. I had choice words with Astarion, and he would love to speak with you. Everything is handled, I just need you to understand that we can take the weight off of your shoulders occasionally. I love you with everything inside of me. Please know that you are loved.”
The sword clatters to the dirt, and Halsin brings you into his arms; a bear hug in every sense of the term. “I guess I will need Astarion to sew this back up,” you mutter, finger the frayed threads above your heart.
“That sounds like a great idea, little one. I’ll put on some tea for when you’re done.” He kisses your head and walks you back to camp, his arms never leaving your waist.
After a cathartic conversation with your resident vampire, a big brown cave bear awaits you in your tent with blankets and tea.
Wyll
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On the dock overlooking the Chionthar, a blade glares up at you from your worn fingers. The Netherbrain is dead, your friends are free from the things that bind them, but you don’t know if it’s the same for you. Nobody forced you to create the Illithid plot with Enver Gortash, nobody forced you to kill Alfira. Her face will haunt you forever, what you did to her in a cold sweat during the middle of the night.
Sure, you had given up Bhaal’s inheritance, but it was still your skin that was covered in blood. It was still your face that bit and spit at the urge’s victims. It was with your eyes that you looked down at Alfira’s cold and eviscerated body. Wither’s had resurrected you in the temple, but you still felt shame creep into your veins. You weren’t a new person, you just forgot.
You saw Wyll hugging Karlach, her new Illithid form unusual but still distinctly her. You want to be with him, you need him like breathing, but the guilt and regret is gnawing at your flesh like a newborn gnoll. Maybe he would be better off taking his role as grand duke by himself, the whole city would whisper of the mad adventurer that had to fight for forgiveness to their complicit nature in the plot. As the blade begins to take its final drink from your wrist, Wyll looks up and shouts your name.
An eldritch blast knocks the blade into the sea, and warm hands wrap gently around your wrist, and a handkerchief is pressed to the small nick. He smells sulfuric but sweet like cinnamon apples as he presses a worry-filled kiss to your head. It comforts you but it shouldn’t; you don’t deserve this. “My love, what is wrong? The netherbrain has fallen, Karlach lives, what could trouble you this much?” He whispers into your ear, making sure the others know this interaction is private.
“I can’t live with myself. I may have forgotten a good extent of my past, but I remember everything from that point on the nautiloid onward clear as a whistle. It’s too much to act like I’m this hero,” you whisper back, tears streaming down your cheeks.
Wyll lifts up your left hand, a ring glinting in the morning sun. He kisses the knuckle wearing it, and looks up into your eyes with a bittersweet smile. “I did not choose you to be the love of my life, my sun and stars, because I thought you were evil my love,” he kisses your cheeks and puts his forehead to yours. “That wasn’t the you I see before me, this wonderful creature who sees past my horns, past Astarion’s vampirism, past Gale’s orb godssakes,” he chuckles and you let out a quiet laugh.
“I just don’t want to be that again. Ever again,” you whisper as you glance at your joined hands. Wyll brings a hand to your cheek and kisses your lips with a tender touch.
“It will take time. Just like I have newfound bumps in weird places, I need to get used to those. It’s being human. Now come with me, future Ravengard, we have beers to slam with our friends.”
He helps you up, and pulls you into the tightest hug as if you could disappear. You walk into the brightening dawn to the Elfsong Tavern, making sure tease him about becoming the grand duke the entire way.
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dearsnow · 8 months
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ORLANDO (FIRST KISS)
- charlie, your best friend, attempts to set you up with the crush he is convinced you have. (charlie dalton x gn!reader, includes some neil being a good friend, slight angst into fluff, happy au, no beta we die like real men)
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word count: 2,647
a/n - i love charlie so much oh my god 😭 hopefully there’s more to come with him! i’m planning a very long fic for him, hopefully similar in feeling to my neil fic “the last time” :) this is slightly inspired by the song “orlando” by leith ross so pls check them out!!
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It’s 1:32 AM on a Friday night (Saturday, technically, but that rarely seems to matter), and Charlie Dalton is refusing to let you sleep.
“You’ve got to tell me. I swear, cross my heart, I won’t tell a soul.” He begs.
Charlie has been your best friend for god knows how long. You met so long ago that you don’t even remember how or why; it just was. That’s exactly what your relationship is. There’s really no rhyme or reason, considering you would detest anyone else with his personality, but you’re friends anyways, and you love him with all your heart. Opposites attract, you suppose. You don’t know for sure. Most days, including today, he is extremely and desperately annoying.
You slump down onto his bed, covering your eyes with your hands. He’s gotten it into his mind that you have a crush, and he won’t rest until he finds out who it is. Lucky you.
“Charlie, it’s no one.” You groan, peeking past your fingers to stare at him with a cross expression. “Even if I did like someone, I wouldn’t tell you.”
The problem is, you do like someone, and he’s sitting right in front of you with messy hair and pajama pants.
Your feelings for him, just like your meeting, are so far buried in the past that you couldn’t dig them up with an excavator. One day, you suppose, you just started to fall in love with him. He’s annoying and rich and a total smart-ass, but you love him. In some soft, quiet ways, he is the kindest boy you’ve ever met.
He notices when you get cut off mid-conversation or when you’re just a little too uncomfortable to talk to the person in front of you. He knows you like the back of his hand and puts his knowledge to use without ever having to ask, like how he always gets you exactly what you want on your birthday. He’s smart and energized and a breath of fresh air, no matter how stale the room is. And, of course, though you would rarely tell him, he is dashingly handsome.
He sits up straighter and begins listing every boy you’ve ever come in contact with. “Meeks? You always did like his type. Ooh, or Pitts? He’s a pitiful lady-killer. Todd is another good choice. Knox has got his thing with Chris, so you probably wouldn’t like him unless you’re into getting your heart broken.” He stops his ranting to take a breath, then continues on. “You cannot like Cameron because if you do, I won’t ever talk to you again. It isn’t Cameron, right?”
You scoff. “I don’t have a crush. Stop trying to guess a person that doesn’t exist.”
“Neil?” He questions. You hesitate just a bit before waving away his suggestion. Neil is a very good friend of both yours and his, and truthfully, he would definitely be the best boyfriend out of all of them. Despite that, you do not love him like you love Charlie. Not even close.
He catches on to your hesitation with scary accuracy. The tilt of your head, the twitch of your hand, the way the corners of your mouth almost curved up into a smile. Charlie feels his heart drop. “Oh my god, it’s Neil. Of course it’s Neil, it’s always Neil! You like Neil.” Neil is, unbeknownst to him, a complete catch. It makes sense that you would like him. After all, he’s kind, outgoing, and a whole lot nicer than Charlie is. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Like you, Charlie doesn’t exactly know when you came into his life. Maybe a stuffy dinner party or a prep event- all that matters to him is that you’re here now, and he loves you. He does, however, know when he started loving you.
It was seventh grade at a school dance, and you had decided to go with a boy he barely knew. When the boy asked you out with a pocketed rose and a shy smile, Charlie felt his blood boiling. How dare he, he thought, take you away from him? You’re his best friend. He would have bought you an entire flower shop had you said the word.
Seeing you waltz with him in your pretty outfit, as awkward and stiff as you both were, was too much for him to bear. Charlie left early, prompting you to follow him. The scene that resulted was one you both tried heavily to erase.
“Charlie, what’s wrong?” You panted, hurrying after him as fast as your pinchy shoes would allow. “Charlie. Charlie! Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing. Just go away.” He sniffled. You turned the corner to see him sitting on a curb, tears tracking down his face. If you knew one thing about Charlie Dalton, it was that he hated crying. You sat down next to him, but he turned to face the trees to his left.
“What happened?” You asked gently. How he despised your gentle care.
“I hate you. Go away.” His voice broke in the middle of his sentence. “I never want to see you again.”
Something in you snapped in that moment, something angry and sad all at once. He was hurting, and you loathed it, but Charlie always got what he wanted in the end.
You stood up and left, muttering a “sorry” over your shoulder.
He tried to avoid you for a while after that, but as with all fated things, he couldn’t stay away for long. He went back to you without a hint of apology, and you took him. Begrudgingly, you just couldn’t be without your best friend for very long.
He knew he loved you then, and that fact hasn’t changed in the present.
“I don’t like Neil.” You insist. “Trust me.”
Charlie stands to pace around his room, talking with his hands as per usual. “Y’know, you always seem smiley around him. I should’ve seen it coming, really. The way you talk to him can’t be platonic.” You sigh from the bed, and Charlie flops down beside you. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin. It’s pleasant, like a ray of sun on a cold day. You instinctively move closer to him as he opens his mouth. “I could probably get you a date with him. Not that you couldn’t do it yourself, but,” he pauses, a hint of hurt humor in his eyes, “I could be your wingman.”
He doesn’t want to be. He really doesn’t want to be, but what can he do? He would rather see you happy with Neil than miserable with no one. Despite how much he hates it, he’s gotten over most of his prepubescent jealousy. He knows deep down in the very achingly sad part of him that you don’t love him. At least, not the way he loves you.
You’re facing him, your nose inches away from his chest as your heart pounds in yours. He really wants you to get with Neil. Well, if that’s how he feels, you don’t feel the need to reject the offer. Maybe this is just the thing you need. What’s the point in pining after him when he’s actively trying to set you up with his second best friend?
“Yeah. That… I would like that.” Charlie’s heart crumbles in his chest.
“Then I’ll get right on it.” He grins. Behind the smile, sadness is swimming in his eyes, but you don’t bother to look at them.
It’s winter break, one of Charlie’s favorite times of the year, but he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this sad before.
By the time the next weekend rolled around, you had almost forgotten about Charlie’s proposed setup. But, on this Saturday when you’re cozy in your room, Neil comes knocking at your door.
You open the door, slightly surprised. He’s holding a bouquet of flowers with a small grin on his face. They’re your favorite flowers.
“Hi.” He says. His voice is breathless.
You raise your eyebrows, but for some reason, you can’t help but smile. Neil is standing in your doorway, and you feel like you know what he’s going to ask. “Hey.”
“Do you want to go on a date with me?” He implores, holding the bouquet out for you to take. “It doesn’t have to be right now, but… I’m ready if you are.” He’s dressed in a crisp suit, and if you’re being honest, you’d hate to make him go home without putting it to use.
You laugh lightly, the feeling bubbling out of your stomach. “Yeah, I’d love that. Just let me get ready and I’ll be out in ten minutes.”
Two days prior to Saturday, Charlie proposed a dead poets town trip. They were milling around, bouncing from shop to shop before Charlie clasped Neil on the shoulder.
“What do you think about Y/N?”
Neil turned, confused. “What do you mean?”
There was a smirk on Charlie’s face, but he hesitated like he didn’t actually want to say the words he was about to say. “I mean, I think you two would be a pretty cute couple.”
Neil let out a huff of air, almost in disbelief. “You’ve been in love with them since seventh grade, Nuwanda. Don’t try to act like you aren’t.”
Charlie gasped exaggeratedly and put a hand over his heart. “How dare you suggest that! I just want the best for my dearest friends.” The others laughed. Every single one of them knew that Charlie harbored deep feelings for you- and every single one of them knew he would never admit it. “Look, just one date. Ask them out on Saturday. They really like you, and I know they’re free, so they can’t pull any excuses.”
“I just don’t know.” Neil admitted. “They’re great and all, but I’d feel bad if I stole away your crush of four years.”
“You won’t be stealing anything, my boy. Just think about it.” Charlie knew he was lying, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he also knew that somehow, he was making the right decision.
Like all of your romantic endeavors, your date with Neil is slightly awkward. He’s your friend, sure, but you’ve never really thought about him like this before. You never even considered dating him. It’s always been Charlie. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to broaden your horizons.
After the initial tension, you would like to believe it went well. Neil walks you out of the restaurant, holding your arm. He’s smiling, and you feel your own expression falter. You like him, you really do, but some part of you knows that he will never be Charlie.
He leans closer to you, almost close enough to touch. Your heart pounds in your chest as he whispers something into your ear. “Don’t look, but Charlie’s watching. Pretend I’m kissing you.”
You’re taken aback as your eyes try to search for his brown hair, but after a second, you comply. You shut your eyes and thread your fingers through Neil’s. To anyone else, especially anyone inside of the restaurant, it looks like you’re smashing tongues with him.
Neil walks you home as the day fades into night, and as much as you ask, your questions are left unanswered with a sly wink.
“I can’t believe you would do that.” Charlie rages. “It was meant to be a date, not a date and a tongue fuck! That was their first kiss, Neil, and you’ve stripped them of it!” He doesn’t know why he’s so outrageously enraged. It was a quick kiss from the boy you’ve been crushing on. He should be overjoyed for you.
“It wasn’t like that, Charlie. Just ask them.” Neil is surprisingly calm, considering his friend is screaming at him. “Ask them. Go on.” He pushes Charlie’s shoulder. “I walked them home.”
Charlie grumbles, his gut twisted into shaking, angry knots. “I will. If they tell me you did anything weird, though, you’re dead.” Neil shakes his head.
“I think you’d kill me even if I didn’t kiss them.”
For the second time, you hear a knock at your door. This one is loud and frenzied, but through the haze, you can tell who it is. Who else would knock so harshly at 11:23 at night? It’s a good four hours after your date, so it definitely can’t be Neil.
You open the door, clad in pajamas and a frown. “Seriously, Charlie? You’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood.”
“Did he kiss you?” Ah, straight to the point. He’s never one to beat around the bush.
“What’s it to you?” You defend. “You didn’t care about that possibility when you wanted me to date him.” You cross your arms. Why the hell is he so upset? You don’t understand anything about this. His motives, his feelings, right now, they’re more confusing than he’s ever been. Well, save for one night. Oddly, this reminds you of that dance a few years back. You don’t want that to happen again, so whatever’s going on has to stop.
He opens his mouth and then closes it like he’s actually considering what he wants to say for the first time in his life. “I just…” A defeated expression tugs his face down. Your heart plummets. You rarely ever see him crestfallen. The last time was four years ago, and you had hoped you would never see him like that again.
He turns to walk away. He can’t do it, he just can’t. He’s walking so fast the pavement under his feet is a blur, and you chase after him.
“Charlie, what are you-“ He turns, seeing the confusion on your face.
When he looks at you, all Charlie can see is love. He loves your voice, the curve of your lips, the way you do anything and everything. In that moment, when he sees you with tired eyes, his inhibitions flee like rabbits from a wolf. Maybe, just maybe, he can.
Before you can ask, yet after you see the fire in his eyes, he grabs your arm and cuts you off.
“Can I kiss you?”
You’re taken aback for a moment, lips parted, not speaking a word. His hair is messy and the tear tracks on his cheeks glisten in the street lights. It’s like everything you’ve ever wanted has sprung to life before your eyes. “Yes, but-“
He presses his lips to yours, effectively cutting off any further communication once again. His grip on you softens as his hands reach up to cup your face. Your eyes flutter shut, and a million different things race through your mind. All you can consciously think is that you never want it to end.
When he pulls away, breathless, something new is shining in his eyes. “I hope that wasn’t bad for a second kiss.” He smiles. He’s still worried, more so than he’s ever been, but that was the most amazing thing he thinks he’s ever done.
“Second? Charlie, that was my first.”
He pauses. “So Neil didn’t kiss you?”
You laugh, and upon seeing his even more excited face, you laugh so hard you double over. He joins, and your giggles are probably too loud for how late it is. “No! God no, he told me to pretend because you were watching.” Your voice comes out humorous and strained, with so much joy behind the tone that Charlie can feel himself starting to laugh again. “Were- Were you in the restaurant for our whole date?”
“Yeah.” He chokes out. “I couldn’t just let the love of my life date some other guy without my knowledge, right?”
“Oh, totally. Maybe you should ask me out next time, then, to completely avoid this whole scenario.” He pulls you in, laughing against your shoulder.
“Sure. Yeah, I think I will. Next time, I’ll make sure of it.”
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ellieluvr420 · 3 months
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Friends? Never. Pt.3 (Ellie Williams x reader)
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SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.
I feel like this is gonna end up being a slow burn bc i’m loving the angst atm but like i promise there will still be tension (wink wink (; )
Your eyes flutter open as you feel the steady rise and fall of Ellie's chest that you had found yourself leaning on. You blink slowly as you take in your surroundings when your eyes fix on your book that was sitting open in Ellie's lap, you look up at her with a devious grin giggling to yourself about her reading the book she had so passionately made fun of, and she had got quite far into it, you couldn't help but laugh until you saw her eyes twitching open which prompted you to swiftly turn over and pretend to be asleep unable to face her after last night. You hear her groan and feel her weight shifting, your eyes clamp shut and you hold your breath but you can't help but jump when you feel her strong hand clamping down on your shoulder.
"I know you're awake."
Fuck.
You defiantly roll over and make eye contact with her for a second before darting your eyes back up to the ceiling. You can feel her eyes on you but you both stay quiet and the silence soon begins to overwhelm you, the ticking of the clock on your wall slowly driving you to insanity, you just needed to fill the silence, anything to stop the deafening nothingness as you act like she isn't staring into your soul like you're made of glass.
"See you enjoyed my book last night, sure you aren't a virgin Williams?" You smirk at her as you finally work up the courage to make eye contact and your stomach drops as all you see is a scowl plastered on Ellie's face, she immediately starts stumbling out of bed so fast you barely register it before she's turning back to you with glassy eyes and a sneer.
"I should've fucking known. You- you're just... you're fucking unbelievable." She stammers out too angry to speak steadily. You just sit there stunned at her reaction, you were only acting how you always had with her, you thought she would snipe something back playfully but she was actually mad, you didn't know what to say. You both just stood there staring at each other, yours a look of bewilderment and hers unreadable. "I don't know why I expected anything different." She spits out and before you can question what she means she storms out slamming your door behind her leaving you to get ready for the patrol you were now vehemently dreading.
"Hey Rudy, just the usual please." You smile at the weapon armoury attendant that always got you your favourite rifle and handgun, he had always been a friend to you so when you see the questioning look in his eyes at your defeated stance, you shake your head and sigh. "Don't ask."
"I'll go get your shit."
"Thanks." You shoot him a small smile that doesn't reach your eyes and he wanders off to the back to get you everything you need. Once you have everything you walk over to the stables to grab your horse, Greg, everyone had laughed when you named him that, something Maria had let you do for your 12th birthday, but you loved the name then and you still loved the name now, it always put a smile on your face, even now as you walk past Ellie who ignores your presence entirely, you still smile as you squeal. "Hi Greg! How's my favourite boy doing?" You immediately go to stroke his nose before you saddle him up ready for patrol.
Ellie sneaks glances at you as you're distracted by your horse and a lump forms in her throat when she sees you dressed in your lightweight khaki green cargos she always saw you in in summer and a tight black tank top. She hated herself for being distracted by how you looked so she tore her eyes away from you with a huff and continued saddling up Shimmer.
You walk Greg over to the gates where you see Ellie chatting with Jesse, a deep grimace adorning her face, her eyes flicker over to yours and your breath hitches as she catches you watching her, it made you feel like you were 14 again when she first arrived in Jackson. Your heart starts beating rapidly, thundering in your chest, as she storms over to you.
"Hey-"
"Apparently there's a horde around the mountain cabins on our route. Jesse told me to tell you, we need to be really careful."
"Got it." You barely get the two words out before she's stomping away leaving you to roll your eyes at her childish demeanour. You were still so confused at the way she blew up at you earlier but you also felt saddened at the memory of the dejected look in her eyes, you were so focused on replaying the events of this morning you completely missed Jesse's speech, you only zone back in at the sound of everyone climbing onto their horse's followed by the subsequent pattern of hooves clicking against the ground.
"What the fuck are you doing? Get on the horse, we gotta go."
You don't reply, simply climbing onto Greg and snapping at his reins to get him to set off at a fast gallop. Ellie curses and follows you willing Shimmer to catch up.
You're horses are gently trotting through the forest as you both watch your surroundings cautiously. You had already been to the town and cleared the small straggles of infected there and now you were both making your way to the mountain cabins. There was an air of dread around you both as Ellie led the way with you watching your backs, you were quietly scanning the forest until you felt Greg attempting to nudge you away from the path you both followed and deeper into the forest. You whisper quietly. "What is it boy? Hm?" You let him lead you in the direction his senses are taking him completely forgetting about the quiet girl ahead of you. You walk and walk until you reach a clearer patch of the forest and your eyes zero in on what it is that had distracted Greg so much. "Oh you are so naughty, you just wanted an apple didn't you?" There was a small patch of apple trees adorned with the brightest red apples you had ever seen, your mouth watered at the sight and you didn't doubt that Greg looked the same, you spurred him on until he was standing right under the tree so you could reach up and grab some, you stuffed as many in your bag as you could with the idea to give some to Shimmer and Ellie and then toss one at Greg as you take a deep bite into your own. "Oh my god that is good. Isn't that good boy?" He neighs as a response and as you hear a branch snap your surroundings immediately dawn on you, you don't even have time to kick yourself for letting yourself get so distracted by the apples before you're reflexively reaching for your rifle as you see a clicker running right at you. You take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger and shudder a breath out as you watch it drop before it can reach you and Greg. "Fuck that was close."
Ellie's head snaps up at the sound of a rifle being fired, horror washing over her as she looks behind her to see you aren't there anymore. Immediately her heart quickens as her ears ring and her vision pulses as she looks for any sign of you anywhere but comes up empty. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She doesn't know what direction you could have went in so she swallows a huff and screams your name over and over again. Her voice getting shakier and shakier with every repetition.
You hear Ellie's panicked voice calling your name and you snap at Greg's reins to make him go faster, you speed towards her voice until you burst out of the forest coming face to face with her.
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?" She immediately screams as her eyes become foggy with tears, she knows its from relief and the thought sickens her.
"I'm sorry, Greg was pulling me into the forest so I went to go look and I ran into a clicker. I got it before it got to us so its fine."
"IT'S FINE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
"Stop fucking screaming Ellie you're gonna have the horde coming straight for us. I'm sorry I got distracted."
"Distracted? Fucking distracted? You're un-fucking-believable. What did you find?" She spits out mockingly, your cheeks heat and you bow your head in shame knowing your answer was only going to anger her more. You sigh and open your bag holding out two apples to her.
"I grabbed some for you and Shimmer, they're really good, best I've ever had." You smile weakly and she makes Shimmer walk over to you so you're both side by side. She takes the apples from your hands gently and you let out a shaky breath at her calm demeanour until she lobs the apples away before looking back at you with a fire in her eyes that you had never seen before.
"You scared the living shit out of me for fucking apples? Are you really that much of a petulant child that you'd risk both our lives for apples?" She spits out and you immediately pull on Greg's reins to make him gallop away from Ellie. She had hurt you, you were only excited and trying to do something nice, you made a mistake but you couldn't understand why she was so short with you today.
"Hey don't fucking walk away from me." She calls as she follows and catches up with you.
"I have nothing to say to you Ellie."
"No you don't get to be the hurt one, okay? You're the one that hurts."
"What the fuck do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, absolutely nothing." You huff and roll your eyes as you both continue to travel in an uncomfortable silence once again.
As you reach the first mountain cabin you both dismount your horses leaving them tied to one of the fence posts, you hand them both an apple missing the way Ellie rolled her eyes at your actions.
"Let's split up, we'll clear it quicker."
"Do you really think that's wise when we know there's a horde around here somewhere?"
"Why do you have to be so difficult?"
"Fine, you know what, have it your way. But don't expect me to come running when you get ambushed by a bunch of fucking infected." You storm off, shoulder checking her as you go and begin clearing the bottom floor of the house, you note Ellie's stomping footsteps ascending the stairs but you continue making your way cautiously throughout the house. You had almost finished clearing the bottom floor and you breathed a sigh of relief knowing you were one step closer to being finished when you hear a loud crash and the choked screeching of your name coming from Ellie's lips. "Fuck."
You immediately sprint to the sound of Ellie's voice until you see Ellie in the master bedroom fighting off two huge clickers, you meet her panic stricken eyes and without thinking you aim at the one on the left that was way too close to her face, it drops and the other clicker turns to you with a shriek before stumbling towards you.
"Go out the window! I'll lead it away!" You don't wait for a reply as you leg it away from the clicker while shooting at it with your hand gun, you head directly to the back door where you slam it shut before it can get out. You lean all your weight on the door as it bashes against it repeatedly until it slowly calms down to a stop. You observe it as it stumbles away from the door before carefully aiming your rifle at its head through the glass pane of the door, you squeeze the trigger and as it drops you feel Ellie's presence behind you. Her hand gently squeezes your shoulder as you whip around smacking it away from you.
"Look what your stubbornness caused us. We both just almost died because you were too petty to do your job correctly. Are you fucking happy?"
"I'm sorry okay. Thanks for saving my ass."
"Whatever we need to leave I'm sure there's more heading straight for us." You immediately head to Greg that you're relieved to see is okay alongside Shimmer before climbing on him once again and heading away to the next cabin as Ellie follows quietly behind.
The rest of patrol was uneventful, you both stuck together and cleared a few stragglers but it seemed the horde had moved away from your route. As you and Ellie both head back to Jackson, you pull another apple from your bag taking a bite and savouring the sweetness on your tongue, you note Ellie's eyes darting between you and the apple and you huff before pulling the last one out of your bag and holding it out to her. "Can you not throw this one away? It's the last one." She takes it from you gently with a small smile as she nods. You both devour the fruits on the slow journey back to Jackson as you gaze at the sunset that baths the landscape in a soft orangey hue.
You walk through the gates of Jackson and climb off of Greg before handing his reins to a stable assistant and kissing him on the nose, Jesse walks up to you with a foreboding look on his face.
"How was it?"
"Pretty average. The horde wasn't on our route so you might want to set up a team to start tracking them."
"Oh shit okay. Surprised neither of you killed each other." He nods toward Ellie.
"Oh believe me I came close." You both chuckle and he walks off to greet the others that were returning, you begin heading in the direction of your home before Ellie runs after you calling your name to get your attention.
"Wanna go get a drink?"
"Why?"
"To thank you for saving my ass and because I think we should talk."
"Fine." You huff and both make your way to the tipsy bison where you each grab a whiskey, yours on the rocks and hers neat, before settling into a booth in the corner of the room. You both sip your drinks until you get impatient at Ellie's silence.
"What did you want to talk about Ellie?"
"I wanted to apologise. I was being stubborn and that risked both our safeties, I'm smarter than that and so are you which is why you were right to question me on it. I was just pissed at you for disappearing but I shouldn't have let that get to me."
"Oh... well it's okay, we all make mistakes, I shouldn't have disappeared without saying anything and sorry I scared you. I honestly didn't think you'd care if I disappeared." You chuckle a little but it dies down as her face screws up as it had so many times today.
"What are you talking about? Of course I'd fucking care. Do you really not understand?"
"Understand what?" She sighs and shakes her head, her eyes darting anywhere but yours.
"I don't hate you, but you fucking hurt me when you cut me off without even an explanation, it's not like I don't know what happened but you didn't even have the guts to tell me why. And then- and then this morning, you still fucking run away from me, you just run away from any part of our relationship that isn't being horrible to each other. I mean, god- do you really think I'm that awful because I'm a lesbian? Can you really not stand to even be civil with me? Do you really hate yourself that much?" She sounds like she's pleading and the glassy sheen over her eyes has returned as she gulps down her drink.
"What? No Ellie, I've just never known how else to talk to you since we- since I cut you off. I just always feel so guilty for how I treated you and the only way I can function with it is by arguing with you, I don't know how to be friends with you anymore after everything that's happened." You look down in shame as you utter the words you had been burying deep inside you for years. Her last question stung but you forced the feeling down knowing she was right to question you because she wasn’t far off.
"How about we just try and forget about everything that's happened and start fresh? We're living together, we may as well try and be... friends." She hesitates before she says the last word but forces it out before she can change her mind.
"Okay... friends then." You both smile as you sip your drinks once again.
You had barely finished your talk with Ellie when you look up to see your parents standing at your booth, they both look at Ellie but make no move to address her, she rolls her eyes and slouches as she watches your panic-stricken face go grey.
"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?"
"We came by to grab some dinner and we saw you over here." Your dad explains.
"We miss you baby. You're our only child, come to ours for dinner tomorrow night, we want to talk to you. Please." Your mum pleads softly. You can barely process what they're saying you're so shocked, you go silent as you just stare back until Ellie nudges you under the table with her foot to prompt a response from you. You clear your throat and nod as you try and gather some words, any words to fill the silence.
"Er... Okay. What time should I come over?"
"Seven okay?" Your mum asks.
"Okay." They both smile at you before glaring at Ellie and walking off as she smirks at their blatant bigotry.
"What the fuck was that about?" She questions through snickers.
"I have no fucking idea." You breathe out as your heart pounds and your palms sweat, you felt sick at the idea of going back to your family home, you should've just said no.
All you kept thinking was why did you say yes?
tags: @radioheadfan699 @readbydayana @emiliabby
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lanadelnegan · 8 months
Note
could you do jdm x male reader? maybe mostly angst and possibly a bit of smut? literally whatever you feel like writing is perfectly fine
You Belong to Me
Negan x Male Reader
Summary: Negan and y/n (Alexandria’s leader) have unspoken feelings for each other, that lead to frustration, anger, and smut.
Warnings: 18+, smut, EXTREMELY FILTHY IM SORRY, anal, rimming, blowjob, spit kink, choking, cum play, angst, negan being a dominant verbal zaddy
Note: I’ll be honest.. I finished this whole thing before I realized you asked for jdm and not negan. 😭 I PROMISE I’ll do a jdm one too. But I hope you also enjoy this one. I think it might be my favorite so far. 😘
Note#2: and I know you asked for a “bit of smut” but I got carried away and well, it’s a lot. And it’s filthy. Forgive me. 🧎‍♀️ I’m terrible at following directions, clearly.
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Your jaw twitches as Negan walks past you, making sure to brush his hand against yours as he happily whistles the melody that's grown to haunt you over the past couple months.
"Come on, y/n. Let's see what kinda goodies you got in the cupboard."
Some bystanders watch as you follow Negan into your own house, allowing him to browse around.. not that you have a choice.
You glare at Negan with your arms crossed while you lean against the frame of your kitchen entrance.
"Who were you before all this?" You ask him and it must catch him off guard because he turns from the open fridge to face you, raising his thick brows.
"Before what?" He chuckles amused. "Before the dead started walking?"
You answer him with a simple nod.
"Why, y/n? You think if you play mind games.. try to get in my fucking head.. that I'll just what.. stop? I told you already. You belong to me." He approaches you slowly, tilting his head to the side. "Do I need to remind you of that?"
"Not trying to get in your head. Just making conversation since you're standing in my damn kitchen, making yourself at home."
"Well, ya know what. I wasn't planning on settling in. But since you're offeri-"
"I'm not." You say through your teeth, making it clear that he's not welcome here. Negan looks at you at eye level as a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
"That.. is no way to treat your new house guest, y/n. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna bake us some fucking cookies." He walks away, leaving a scent trail of leather and cigarettes behind as he opens your cabinets, pulling out what he needs to get started.
You look to the front door, contemplating your next move and strategically thinking of how to get this psycho out of your house.
"The supplies.. your men are loading them up. Don't you need to leave soon?"
"Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me. Could you be a fucking doll and go tell Simon to head on out without me?" His smile widens as he turns on the faucet, washing his hands.
Hesitantly, you do as he says, leaving to find Simon and explaining the situation before heading back to your house. Some fellow Alexandrians watch you curiously before Carol quickly catches up to you.
"Y/n! What's going on? Where's Negan?" She asks panicked, noticing the Saviors are leaving without him.
"In my fucking house. He's staying."
Her brows crinkle as she walks quickly beside me, trying to keep up. "How long?"
You shrug annoyed. "Keep an eye on things for me while he's here. I'm not letting him outta my sight."
Carol nods, turning away and you jog up the steps to your house. You enter your house and the smell of freshly baked cookies fills your nose.
"You gotta try these, y/n. I would make one hell of a fucking house wife. First the spaghetti, now cookies? I gotta stop spoiling you like this." He takes a bite out of one, groaning at the taste before holding the plate out for you to take one.
"Hmph." You breathe out annoyed before grabbing one and taking a bite, dropping it back on the plate.
"Welllll?" Negan asks expectantly.
"Tastes like shit." You glare at him as the smile on his mouth fades into a scowl. He nods disappointedly as he slides the plate onto the counter, walking past you without a word.
You turn and watch him disappear up the stairs before following after him, smiling to yourself proudly at the accomplishment of hurting his feelings.
He makes his way to your room, walking in without hesitation and kicking his shoes off.
"What the hell are you doing?" You ask following him. "This is my room."
"Wrong, y/n. Whatever you have.. belongs to me. So, this room? Is mine." His voice is deep with anger as he shrugs his jacket off his shoulders.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I would love a hot shower.. in my bathroom." Negan announces, walking to the master bathroom attached to your room.
You refuse to let him stay in your room by himself, so you defiantly kick off your shoes next to his, slipping off your pants until you're left in boxers and a black t-shirt. You fall into bed defeatedly, listening to the sound of running water coming from the half open bathroom door.
You start to doze off before the water shuts off, leaving nothing but loud silence.
Negan sighs loudly from the bathroom. "The fuck are your towels?" You hear him rustling through the cabinets under the sink.
"You took them all last time." You call out.
"Goddamn it." He walks out of the bathroom, completely bare and wet. You shamelessly watch as water runs down his body, traveling through the v-shape in his abdomen before reaching his long, veiny cock.
"Like what you see, y/l/n? ... Told you my dick was bigger than yours." Your eyes quickly snap away as he uses his dirty shirt to wipe the excess water from his toned body.
"Gonna need to borrow some boxers unless... you'd rather me sleep in the nude... From the look on your face, you'd probably prefer that anyway, huh?" Negan chuckles and you run a hand down your frustrated face, looking up at the ceiling.
"Top drawer."
Negan makes his way towards your dresser, opening the drawer and browsing through. You can't help but let your eyes roam to his backside, admiring his firm ass. His eyes catch yours in the dresser mirror in front of him and you freeze, holding his eye contact.
The corner of his mouth raises like he caught you red handed and he chuckles as he bends, slipping your boxers up his long legs.
You get up, frustrated with yourself and quickly walk to bathroom, desperate to get away from him, but he cuts you off.
Your jaw ticks as you look down between the two of you, refusing to give him anymore attention.
"Get outta my way Negan."
His smirk widens as his hands go to rest lazily on his hips. "You gonna make me?"
You shake your head annoyed and push past him. "I'm not fucking doing this with you." You slam the bathroom door shut behind you, leaning against the wall and exhaling a deep breath.
You attempt to think about anything but him, trying to calm the growing length beneath your boxers.
"Fuck." You whisper out, frustrated with yourself. The bathroom mirror is still foggy from Negan's shower and your mind drifts back to the thought of his wet body emerging from the steam.
You look down at your hardening cock and bite your lip, keeping your hands by your sides and restraining from touching yourself. You finally compose yourself after a few moments, tucking yourself under the waistband of your underwear and letting your shirt hang over.
When you exit the bathroom, Negan is already laying in your bed on top of the covers, one hand behind his head while the other rests on his hairy stomach. You don't allow yourself to look as you climb into the bed next to him.
"I want to make one thing clear, Negan. I am sleeping in my bed for the simple fact that.. it's my fucking bed and I'm not letting you kick me outta my own damn room. Don't get any weird fucking ideas."
Negan chuckles. "Case you forgot, I have a whole fucking handful of wives back home. If anyone in this bed is getting any ideas, it's you."
"Sure is strange that you're in my house when you have so many wives at home, isn't it? .......Did you kill their families too? Force them to be with you?"
Negan turns his head to you, his expression serious now. "You should probably go sleep in the other room. Before I lose my goddamn temper."
"Like I said, this is MY fucking room. YOU get out." You throw the covers over yourself as if to convince him you're not leaving.
"Fuck it." Negan stands up to leave the room but turns to face you when he reaches the door. "You know why you belong to me, y/n? .. ... Because your people don't respect you. You got them into this shit because of your own choices. I just happen to reap the benefits of your own stupidity."
You throw the covers off, angrily making your way over to him before stopping directly in front of his face. "And you think your people respect you?! You've tortured them. Abused them. They don't respect you, Negan. They're scared of you. There's a difference."
"Are you scared of me, y/n?" Your eyes widen when you feel his dick twitch against yours. He subtly presses his body closer to you, barely touching his cock to yours through your boxers.
You noticeably gulp and his eyes drop to your throat, making him grin.
"No." You breathe out, glancing down to watch his tongue lick his bottom lip.
He softly chuckles before leaning into your ear. "Then why do you have goosebumps right now?"
If you didn't have them before he said that, you definitely do now from his raspy voice vibrating against your ear and his dick rubbing against yours through the thin material.
"From your body language, you are most definitely scared.. or turned on.. One of the two.. Guess it just depends on which one you'll admit to." Negan grins devilishly, daring you to make a move.
You stare at him for a moment before spitting angrily in his face, making his eyes shut tightly as he wipes your saliva off his beard.
You don't have time to regret your decision because Negan's hand suddenly grips your throat, tightening and walking you backwards towards the bed. "That's how you want it to be, huh? Good.... I can be rough too... On your fucking knees."
You don't fight him, knowing he'll win so you willingly drop to your knees in front of him, keeping your hands by your sides.
He pulls out his semi-hard cock, stroking it a few times in your face until it grows to full length. "Gonna put that fucking smart ass mouth to use. Open." He demands.
You don't move, and instead glare up at him through your brows, ignoring his request.
Negan chuckles darkly before bending down, tightly squeezing your jaw with his hand, prying your mouth open.
"Open. Or I'll choose another hole." He grins before spitting directly into your mouth.
You reluctantly obey, allowing him to enter your mouth and he gives you no warning before ramming his cock deep down your throat. You choke at the sudden feeling, attempting to jerk away but his fingers roughly push your head forward, holding your face against him until your nose is pressed into his pubic hair.
You feel lightheaded as if you could black out before he quickly yanks your hair back, causing you to exhale a deep breath. He pulls you up completely this time, bringing your face close to his.
Negan's eyes search yours. "Tell me to fucking stop." His breathing is erratic and his voice is deeper and raspier than before.
You stare back at him silently, giving him consent without using your words. He smirks before turning you quickly and positioning you until your knees are on the bed and your face in a pillow with your ass in the air.
He climbs on the bed behind you, yanking your boxers down and sliding them off your legs until your bare ass is exposed to him. You feel his large hands rub your ass cheeks before squeezing roughly and spreading them apart.
"Mm. I am gonna have some fun with you." He says before diving in, pressing his face into your ass and using his tongue to pleasure you. Your cheeks blush and you moan at the sensation of his tongue swirling around inside of you.
After a few moments of licking, he pulls back, spitting on your hole and leaning back until he's lined up behind you. His finger lightly circles your hole before pushing through, knuckle deep. "Mm, goddamn you are tight."
His finger retreats, leaving you empty and desperate for more. "You ever taken a dick before, y/n? You think you're ready for me? He chuckles, teasing the tip of his cock against your hole.
"Negan.. shut.. up. Just fuck me."
"Beg."
You remain stubbornly silent at first, but when he starts to get up from the bed, you give him. "Please."
"Sorry, what was that?" Negan positions himself behind you again.
"Please. Fuck me."
Your eyes widen with surprise when Negan reaches around to your face, fish-hooking your mouth with the finger that was just inside you and jerking you back until your body is pressed against his. Chills cover your body as his low voice whispers in your ear. "Can't fucking hear you." His finger leaves your mouth, gripping your throat instead and squeezing firmly.
"Please.. Please fuck me, Negan." You beg louder and he lets you go, pushing you back down into the mattress.
He enters you fully and suddenly in one motion, not giving you any time to adjust and you cry out at the pain. His heavy balls slap against yours from underneath and he pounds you relentlessly, harder and deeper with each thrust.
"So fucking tight." Negan groans through his teeth. "Wish your people could see you right now. Bent over and moaning from my cock."
He grabs your hair, yanking you up again until his mouth is next to your ear. "You think they'd be disappointed, y/n? Knowing whose dick you're taking?"
"Shut up."
"What if they knew how much you liked it?" He reaches around you, gripping your hard, leaking cock in his hand while still pounding you. "How this cock throbs for me…. Look. At. That." Precum leaks from your tip as you both watch Negan's thumb rub it around on your tip. From this angle, his dick presses perfectly into your g-spot with each thrust and you moan louder when you feel your orgasm builds up inside you.
Negan releases your cock and pulls out of you suddenly, flipping you over until you're laying on your back.
He positions himself in between your legs and pushes back into you, making you both moan out together.
You reach for your dick, desperately needing to stroke it but Negan grabs your wrist, pinning it above your head with the other. "No fucking way. You belong to me, remember? This dick belongs to me. I'm making you cum."
You arch yourself into him until his dick finds your g-spot again, hitting it hard over and over.
"Fuck, fuck, fuuuck." You cry out as your cum spills all over your stomach. Negan groans as he watches you come undone, pumping into you faster.
“Gonna cum in this tight fucking ass.. cause it belongs to me too. That okay with you?”
Before you can tell him no, he stops thrusting, holding himself deep inside of you. “Ahh Fuck. Fuck.” You feel him pulse against your walls over and over, filling you to the brim before he finally pulls out.
Just when you think it’s over and the guilt starts to set in, Negan pushes your legs back further, pressing his hands against the back of your knees as he looks down at your hole. “Lemme see you push it out.”
“No.. wha-“
“Now.”
You sigh, giving in once again as your muscles flex and you feel his load leak out of you and run down.
Negan swipes it up with his finger, pushing it into your mouth suddenly, making you taste him.
Your brows scrunch together angrily as you try to turn your head and spit his fingers out but he overpowers you until you give in, sucking his seed off his fingers. You can’t deny he tastes fucking good and it makes you moan.
“Taste good?” Negan chuckles, watching you enjoy the taste of him.
“Much better than your cookies.”
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ivrmmx · 4 months
Text
Hybrid! Heeseung
Chapter 3: You don’t understand.
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Summary: After greeting your friend, she brought her own hybrid. To your surprise it seemed like your hybrid new who this human-cat was. What you didn’t expect, was that this could lead to problems between you and your own hybrid.
Warnings: a bit angst, cussing, crying, fighting, yelling, the rest of the Enhypen members eventually show up, running away, kissing, neck kissing and biting
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6:22pm
“Jungwon?” The voice behind you says, you turn your head around to look at your hybrid confused. “Jungwon?” You repeat. “Oh yes, that’s my hybrid’s name!” Your friend Shuhua says with a smile, but the tension isn’t really a happy and bubbly tension.
Heeseung stares at the cat hybrid with a shocked look. “Y’all know eachother?” You asked with a confused tone while raising an eyebrow. Heeseung can barely move, he didn’t let out a word, not even a nod. You and your friend stare at each other wondering what is going on. “You can come in now..” you say. Jungwon steps in while still looking at Heeseung and so does Shuhua, suddenly, both hybrids jump ontop of each other.
They fall down to the floor with a loud thud sound. Jungwon smells Heeseung all over his body as his ears twitch. Jungwon widens his eyes and Heeseung’s nostrils flare, they rub the sides of their heads with each other. You look at Shuhua and she looks at you back, you both laugh. Your pets turn to look at you both and smile. “Mind telling us what’s going on?” Shuhua says.
“He’s my best friend. We got separated when we got caught running away from the shelter.” Heeseung says.
You and Shuhua widen your eyes, you weren’t expecting this. “Oh wow, so, that’s nice” you say a bit unsure of what to do next. “We should watch a movie!” Shuhua says excitedly. “Sure not a bad idea.” You say playfully looking at her as she gives you a playful shove.
6:56pm
It’s starting to get dark out side. You have asked Heeseung if he would like to sit next to you but to your surprise he said we would rather sit next to Jungwon. You attempted to brush it off and decided to sit next to your friend, Shuhua. You decided to get up and go to the kitchen to get some snacks while Shuhua scrolled through movie options. You threw a bag of popcorn on the microwave and watched how the timer counted down. Then, Heeseung comes to the kitchen and sees you, he walks up to you wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. You laugh, “you alright?” You ask. Heeseung nods, burying his nose and lips on the crook of your neck inhaling your scent and giving you tiny pecks.
As the popcorn is cooking, Heeseung bites down on your neck softly. Your shoulder flinches up a bit as you turn around to look at him. “You taste good.” He teases you, you roll your eyes turning back around to take the popcorn out of the microwave. You dump the popcorn out onto a bowl and offer Heeseung a piece of popcorn putting it right infront of his lips. He maintains eye contact with you as his lips part apart taking the popcorn inside his mouth holding onto your waist. “It’s good” he says with a smile and you smile back at him.
You and Heeseung come back to where Shuhua and Jungwon are placing the popcorn down between you and Shuhua. Y’all decide on a movie and start playing it. It’s been about 40 minutes but you and Shuhua can seem to take your eyes off Jungwon and Heeseung. Are they making a plan? It looks like it. You and Shuhua look at each other and just shrug moving to face the TV and putting focus on the movie.
7:36pm
The movie is about to end, you look at Heeseung, he is dozed off. He looks cute sleeping, but not so cute when his head is laying down on Jungwon’s shoulder.
The movie ends. You get up and so does your friend. Shuhua wakes up Jungwon whose head was resting on your pet’s head, Jungwon wakes up Heeseung as he rubs his eyes. “Yes?” Heeseung says, “I’m leaving” jungwon tells him. “Nooo, whyy?” Heeseung complains. “My owner is tired, so we should get going now Hee” Jungwon says in a sleepy voice. “Oh, alright. Can we hang out another time?” Heeseung asks, “I’ll see” Jungwon replies. “Come on Jungwon we should go now.” Shuhua pull his arm indicating him he should go with her. “Bye Y/N!!” Shuhua say as you wave bye at her “Bye Hua”.
“Let’s go to bed now Heeseung.” Heeseung nods getting up lazily following you into your room, He throws himself into bed, you follow right after. He wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer cuddling with you.
10:12pm
You woke up to the feeling of no one by your side. No more warmth. You sit up confused, “Heeseung?” You say. You get up, the dark room making it hard to see. You slips your feet into your soft and cozy slippers. You get up and yawn, you decide to go look for Heeeseung.
You walk out of your room the moonlight attacking your face, it’s quiet and dark. “Heeseung?” You repeat. You go check the bathroom, not there. Kitchen, not there either. You start getting worried, did he run away? You walk down stairs but before you even reach the first floor, you see how a small creek of light is reflecting from the doors it’s coming from the front door. You panic and run towards the front door, it’s open.
You start sweating and heating up breathing heavily. “Heeseung?!” You yell. You step outside and see if there is any trace of his anywhere, nothing, it’s like if he was gone.
You run upstairs and unlock your phone with shaky hands, immediately calling Shuhua. It doesn’t take a while for her to answer. The moment she picks up you start talking fast, “Heeseung’s gone!” You say with a scared and shaky voice. “Jungwon’s gone too!” She says with the same tone. It suddenly hit you.
They went to find each other. They both ran away from home.
“Okay, so they’re with each other..” Shuhua tries to relax. Shuhua gasps. “Oh my god! I remember, I put a tracking device on Jungwon’s collar. We can go find them, I’ll come pick you up!” She says quickly. She let out a sigh of relief taking deep breaths. “Alright, come quick”
Shuhua pulls up your house and you immediately jump into her car and start tracking Jungwon’s collar.
The collar takes you both to a scary place, suddenly, you see the both of them sitting down together on a bench facing the lake in front of them as they chat. Something about this made you feel mad but relieved. You tap Shuhua’s shoulder and point to where they are and she nods.
You both approach silently but stop when you see more hybrids appear from the bushes and approach them. 5 more hybrids, another cat hybrid, a bunny hybrid, a dog hybrid, a black panther hybrid, and a fox hybrid.
You and Shuhua freeze, scared of what they will do. You let out a sigh of relieve when they all just hug and greet each other. But you and Shuhua’s heart drops when the black panther hybrid turns his head your direction. You and your friend hide behind a tree scared of what to do next. You both try to stay as quiet as possible. But suddenly, you both get pulled harshly away from each other. You turn around and see that the black panther has a hold on you and the bunny has a hold of Shuhua.
Heeseung, jungwon, and the rest of the hybrids step closer. When Heeseung and Jungwon see it’s just their owner, they order their friends to let us go. “What the fuck?!” You say startling the hybrid. “Did you seriously run away, Heeseung?” You look at Heeseung pissed off, you notice Shuhua disciplining Jungwon too. “Would you calm down? It’s not that deep.” Heeseung crosses his arms across his chest. “Not that deep?!” You laugh in disbelief. “You made me almost have a heart attack realizing you were gone.” Heeseung rolls his eyes, “I have friends you know? If I asked you to hang out with them you would’ve said no.” Heeseung says and the hybrids stare at you and him.
You can’t help but feel betrayed. “We’re going back home.” You demand Heeseung throws his head back and groans. “Can’t I have fun?” He says annoyed. “I let you have what you wanted from me, isn’t that enough?” Heeseung scoffs, “I’m still an animal, I belong in nature with my animal friends.” You close your eyes and look down. “Let’s just go home.” You say, “fine, but only because I have no choice.” Your heart pains.
Shuhua also is done disciplining Jungwon as she drags him to the car leaving his friends behind in the darkness of night.
11:23pm
You and Heeseung arrive home after Shuhua dropped y’all off. The moment y’all step inside Heeseung starts yelling. “Why would you do that?! Don’t you know I have boundaries too?!” You flinch, you can’t help but feel sad, “you could’ve told me, you didn’t have to run away, I though something happened to you!” Heeseung steps close towering you “that’s no excuse, I’m mad at you.” Heeseung give you a dirty look “be mad at me, but im still your owner. You are supposed to listen to me, I own you Heeseung.” You stare at him seriously, not a single word that came out your mouth was fake. “That won’t stop me from taking control, and from hating you.” Your heart stopped and your faced softens “w-what?.. hate me?” Tears fills up your eyes, your eyes are full and starts leaking tears. He just walks past you and into the bedroom.
“Heeseung come back!” You attempt to demand him but he just ignores you.
The light of the moonlight reflecting on your tears as you just stand there with no idea what to do next.
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AHHH!!! What do y’all think? How do y’all think you’ll gain Heeseung’s trust back?
Sorry I took so longggg!!
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Text
Let's Groove
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader
Word count: ~2.8k
Summary: A night out 💃🏻🕺
A/N: Y'all don't wanna know the playlist I listened to while writing this. I've only been trying to find the motivation to finish this for months.
Warnings: angst, but mostly fluff.
You can’t help but laugh loudly as you watch your brother-in-law head to the dance floor without you. You and the slightly older Maximoff had decided to go out tonight to celebrate the end of the week. Usually, you wouldn’t want to go out after the week you had, but the alternative was sitting home alone. Well with your dog. 
Wanda was working, and she wouldn’t be home for a while. With this in mind, you decided to take Pietro up on his offer to visit one of Wanda’s clubs downtown. You and Pietro basically walked right in, and you tried not to glance at the line of people over a block long that you were able to skirt by. 
Now that you were in the VIP area drinking way too much liquor, you barely remember to feel guilty. You’re having a great time, and you’ve even gotten Bucky to relax a little where he’s stationed at the bar. You had told Wanda where you would be, and she’d of course told you to take Bucky. Not like you had considered otherwise because you knew better.
You didn’t bother to ask if Wanda would be joining you later because you had a feeling that she wouldn’t. She was likely going to be busy most of the night, and the fact that she hadn’t told you otherwise was telling enough. You finish sipping on your drink and sigh as you feel the alcohol relax you enough to join your brother-in-law on the dance floor. 
You set your glass down and you’re about to track down Pietro when you nearly run into someone as you turn around. 
“Oh, sh-!” 
“Sorry!  I didn’t mean to scare you.” 
The statement seems ridiculous when you have a second to think about it. This man who was so tall you had to tilt your head back to look up at him with how close he was standing to you, had snuck up on and stood behind you. If he wasn’t trying to surprise you, you’re not sure you want to know what his plan had been. 
You watch as he offers you an apologetic smile that does nothing to hide how his eyes brighten as they bore into yours. You try not to appear uncomfortable, but it’s a little difficult, and you take a step back so you’re not overwhelmed by the cologne that assaults your senses. You open your mouth to respond that he was unsuccessful, but he doesn’t give you time.
“I-.” 
“Would you be interested in a dance?” 
You can’t help but frown, and not just because of the question. You hate it when people interrupt you, and you feel your eye twitch from the effort of keeping calm. You are very grateful that you hear the beginning of a song that you absolutely love. 
“Sorry, I’m married, and I have a dance partner already.” 
You barely hold your left hand up long enough for him to see your ring, but you don’t bother to wait for his response before you’re leaving the VIP area. You begin to dance as you walk through the crowd of people in search of your brother-in-law.
You find him quickly and you smile when you see that he’s already getting into the song. You quickly join him and the two of you do your best to enjoy yourself and forget about all of the stressors from this week. 
You’re both unaware or unconcerned about being watched by the man you just rejected and a few others. 
The lively club is the ideal place to decompress, and you’re grateful to Pietro for suggesting it. You have a sneaking suspicion as you continue to dance to your favorites, that this wasn’t his last suggestion of the night. You allow yourself to feel spoiled as you let the alcohol in your system make you dance like no one’s watching. 
The blonde you’d left in the VIP area was pouting as he stood beside a table with a drink in front of him. He was only a little buzzed, so not dumb enough to try his luck again, especially when he realizes who your ‘dance partner’ is. He's finished his Manhattan and he considers ordering another one as he watches you dance. The song changes from a hip hop song, the words to which he barely understands, but knows is filthy based on how everyone is behaving. 
Well mostly everyone. 
He finally manages to pull his gaze away when someone comes to drop another drink in front of him. He looks up expecting to see the waitress from earlier, but it’s someone he doesn’t recognize. His smile is nothing short of perfectly polite, but his eyes tell a different story. 
He frowns in confusion, but when the ‘waiter’s’ gaze moves to the dance floor before returning to him, he understands. A warning. 
Instead of responding, he scowls more in annoyance at himself for choosing poorly before downing his drink. The club is packed tonight, there’s no doubt he can find another, more available dance partner. 
He takes out his wallet and slides a twenty underneath his glass before heading out to try his luck with someone else. 
Bucky just watches him leave and once he confirms that he’s not headed toward you, he turns his attention back to his friends. 
They look like they’re having fun and he’s happy for them. They’d both been so tense lately and it was good to see them enjoying themselves for the first time in what felt like months. Bucky tries not to dwell on work, despite the fact that he’s technically still working tonight. This is far easier than what he knows Wanda’s up to tonight. He’d rather keep an eye on you any day. Honestly everyone was feeling the stress of Wanda’s latest deal. He not-so-secretly hopes that it wraps up as scheduled tonight. He glances at his watch realizing that it’s much too soon to think about that. Instead, to kill the time, he heads back to the bar to see if the bartender can whip up a mocktail you’d made for him recently. 
As the music shifts from one genre to another, you and Pietro smile at each other before you move closer to him so you won’t have to shout. He leans in and despite your added height, he needs to bend slightly so you can whisper in his ear. 
“When did you have time to look at my phone?” 
Pietro just laughs before he shoots you a look that tells you you’re going to have to ask him to explain later. You have a playlist that isn’t exactly hidden on your phone, but you rarely listen to it. You were also under the assumption that the only one who knew of its existence was Wanda. Apparently not. 
You see Pietro mouth something you don’t catch as he shrugs before stepping back so he’s out of your personal space. You two are honestly the only ones who are maintaining any at this point. 
“Don’t tell me you’re complaining!”
You roll your eyes, but you definitely can’t claim this. You’re glad that he did it, even if it makes you wonder exactly who told him about your ‘dirty dancing’ playlist. You did your best to only dance when no one was watching, but sometimes when the mood struck, you danced around the house like it was your own personal nightclub. 
You’d done it a few times before Wanda caught you, and you’d been too embarrassed to talk about it at the time. Then she caught you again and you had no choice but to tell her. You’d sworn her to secrecy though, so you’d have to talk to her about this at some point. You ignore the familiar feeling of longing that hits you at the thought of your wife. You’re not sure what she’s doing tonight, but you’re hoping that it will mark the end of the last few tense months at home. 
You shake your head both to clear the thought from your mind and to respond to your brother-in-law who’s already dancing to another pop song from your childhood. You’ll be mortified if anyone else figures out who chose the music, but that’s something you’re too drunk to care about at the moment. 
“Definitely not!” 
You’re beginning to regret your choice in footwear when Pietro suddenly slows in the middle of a song. You look up to see that something’s caught his attention, but his focus is back on the music before you can ask him about it. You frown slightly and turn around to see what’s behind you. The VIP area has gotten more crowded since you’d left, and you don’t see Bucky anymore, but you’re not naïve enough to think that he’s left you with Pietro. When you don’t notice anyone that sticks out, you just shrug before turning back to your brother-in-law who, if you’re not mistaken, is putting on a show. For whom, though? You’re not sure. 
The bar is full by the time that Bucky has his mocktail in hand. He retreats to the corner again where he can keep an eye on you, but not be too obvious about it. He almost laughs at the thought because he’s sure that no one is paying any attention to him. 
He accidentally bumps into a redhead on the way to his hideout and after a quick apology, leaves her to her drink and show. 
Ellie barely hears him apologize as she focuses on the blonde who’d caught her attention as soon as he walked into the club. She’d been here with some friends for a couple of hours before she’d sought a brief escape. She was a member of this club solely because of her mom’s annual contributions, but for once she was okay with this when she found someone that held her attention long enough to forget all about her friends. 
She’d been here nearly a dozen times, but this is the first time she’s seen him. She couldn’t even blame her slightly tipsy state for how she’d immediately flushed when she set eyes on him. He was tall, handsome, and his smile was one that she was sure had women falling all over him. The only wrinkle in his appearance that kept Ellie from going over to him immediately was that he wasn’t alone. 
She noticed you by his side and immediately felt her stomach drop, and she can’t be sure but she probably scowled too. It wasn’t until Pietro left you to go to the dance floor while you finished your drink that she saw a glimmer of hope. 
You’d told someone that you were married and had a dancing partner before promptly going to find who she assumed was your husband. It wasn’t until she watched you dance with him for a few songs that she realized that she wasn’t so sure anymore. 
She watched how almost every dancer surrounding you two was clinging to someone or full on making out as the slightly uncharacteristic, but still good set continued. You and ‘your husband’ however barely touched when you danced and it wasn’t until a disco classic came on that she realized why. 
It was the lack of a ring on the blonde’s finger, at least that she could see that had her setting her glass down and taking a deep breath. She waits until the song ends to gather enough courage to leave her table and try her luck.
Her heart’s beating thunderously in her ears, drowning out the bass as she steps onto the floor among the throngs of people. 
“Bucky.” 
Bucky can’t hide his surprise when he hears a familiar voice beside him. He smiles when he sees Wanda looking a little tired, but no worse for wear than when he’d last seen her. That must be a good sign. He’s surprised that she’s already wrapped things up, but he doesn’t want to bring it up unprompted. The fact that she was here told him that she needed a break. It was long overdue in fact. 
“Hey, you snuck in.” 
Wanda just offers a small smile before nodding toward the side entrance that she tended to favor because she didn’t like to be the center of attention. She also did her best to sneak in here so she didn’t have to deal with anyone trying to talk to her when she was trying to relax. She sighs as she glances around for you, but when she doesn’t see you, her gaze drifts to the far too crowded dance floor. She has a feeling she knows where you are. 
She doesn’t even get to ask before Bucky nods and tells her something that makes her leave almost immediately. She almost forgets to relieve Bucky for the night, she’s so intent on finding you. 
“Thanks, Bucky. I can take it from here. We’ll catch up tomorrow?” 
Bucky nods in agreement, not that Wanda notices as she sets off to find you. The song that erupts all around her makes her smile and she realizes why you’re on the dance floor in the first place. You’re a sucker for this song. She finds you only a few seconds after a redhead steps up to her brother. She watches as he shoots her a charming smile before he extends his hand to her in a way that makes you roll your eyes despite your smile. You laugh when you hear what he says to her as he leads her further into the crowd with a wink in your direction. 
“Oh no, definitely not! We do that on purpose. She’s married to my sister, but I’m single.” 
You watch in amusement as Pietro leaves with the cute redhead that he must have spotted earlier. That would explain his performance, just now and a couple of songs ago. You haven’t decided what you’re going to do when you feel hands on your waist steadying you as you sway to the music. 
“Hey detka.” 
You immediately relax at the familiar voice, and you’re smiling by the time you turn to meet your wife’s gaze. She looks exhausted, but she’s smiling as she takes a moment to admire you. You’re taller than usual and you’re wearing a dress that shows off a little more than she’d like, but it’s dark enough in here that she supposes it’s fine. After all she’s the one who gets to watch you take it off later. 
“Wands, this is a pleasant surprise.” 
You turn in your wife’s hold and reach out to bring her closer before kissing her soundly. Your arms wrap around her waist and you sigh happily as you break away and shoot Wanda an expectant look. She shrugs before telling you that she finished work sooner than she thought she would. You don’t want to ask about it now. There will be time for that later, but right now you want to spend some time with your wife. You can’t help but laugh at your wife’s perfect timing. You aren’t sure she’d be greeting you with a smile if she’d been here only ten minutes ago. You’re sure she finds Whitney Houston far more tasteful than Waka Flocka Flame. You wouldn’t bother arguing with her, even if you thoroughly enjoyed both. 
As expected, Wanda tilts her head and frowns slightly at your response. She squeezes your hips before bringing them flush against her own, and you simply smile sweetly before looking up to nowhere in particular. 
“If you’re still curious about my secret playlist, well it’s not so secret anymore.” 
Wanda’s eyes widen as she realizes what you’re saying and she looks surprised enough for you to suspect that maybe she’s not your leak. You’ll interrogate your brother-in-law later, if you see him any time soon, but for now you focus on your wife. Your hands drop to her hips and you pull her further toward the middle of the crowd so she’s not so exposed. You also want a little more privacy with your wife and you watch as her eyes darken when she realizes what you’re asking. 
“Really?” 
She’s smirking now and you can’t wait to wipe it from her lips. You take her hand in yours before coming to a stop just far enough away from prying eyes to have some privacy. If anyone’s recognized Wanda, they don’t show it. Not that it would matter. Everyone’s plenty drunk by now. You eye the glistening ring on Wanda’s finger before kissing it with a wide smile. You’re going to enjoy this, and you’re determined to make sure your wife does too. She really needs to decompress. 
“Mhm, listen up baby. These are all the songs I’ve wanted to dance to with you.”
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itsbeeble · 1 year
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Adoration
Summary: Though you’ve only been together a few months, you and Wonwoo are completely starstruck by each other. It really shows tonight.
Genre: Suggestive, more plot than usual, fluff (this is really soft until the end mostly), angst if you really think about it
WC: ~2.9k
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x gn!reader (reader wears make up, but no specifics toward gender were implied)
Warnings: Making out, Wonwoo is a huge simp in this tbh, pet names (my love, reader calls wonwoo nonu sometimes if that counts), marking
Notes: this was supposed to be like 700 words max but I got a lil carried away and here we are. This is based off something I saw on here but I can’t remember what it is so if I find it I’ll rewrite this! 
part 2 here!
It’s been 45 minutes since Wonwoo got to your apartment.
45 minutes of him sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on his hands while he watches you get ready for the date he has planned for you two. Granted, he did show up an hour before he was supposed to. He was nervous though. This was the first time he’d ever been in your apartment and he didn’t quite know what he was supposed to do. The two of you had been seeing each other for a few months. A few months of simple dates: movie theaters, breakfast at the diner near your apartment, coffee when the two of you were free. Sure, he took you out to dinner. But he hadn’t taken you anywhere too fancy yet, and that was what tonight was for. 
Right now, however, the date is the last thing on his mind. He’s completely entranced by you as you do your hair and your makeup. He knows his jaw is partially open, knows that he’s been staring for far too long but you’re just so pretty and he doesn’t at all mind that his arms are getting sore. 
“I’m sorry I’m taking so long.” You glance at him through your mirror, a small pout on your lips as you put away your mascara. He just smiles at you. 
“Don’t be sorry,” Wonwoo reassures. “I like watching you.” He watches you become flustered, a small smile lifting on his face when you hurriedly put on your lipstick to finish off your look. He knows you’re rushing because of him, but he wishes you wouldn’t. He wanted to watch you a bit longer. 
He watches you rise from your chair and he sits up, tilting his neck to crack it a bit. 
“How do I look?” You do a little spin, showing off your look. Wonwoo eyes you up and down, that same starstruck smile on his lips as he does. The heat rises back to your cheeks and you begin to mess with the edge of your blouse. 
“You look stunning, my love.” Wonwoo reaches his hand out for you. “C’mere.” You shuffle toward him, your house slippers sliding easily against the carpet below you. You take his hand and he pulls you to him to stand between his legs. He’s staring up at you from the rounded glasses that sit on his nose, his hands now resting on your waist and your arms are on his shoulders. 
Wonwoo’s looking at you like you put the stars in the sky, and that alone makes you more nervous than the day you met him at the coffee shop across from your workplace. You play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, trying to distract yourself from how he’s looking at you, but you can’t help it. 
“You’re so pretty,” Wonwoo murmurs, rubbing circles into your waist with his thumbs. 
“You’re pretty too…” Your voice is quieter than his, your nerves eating away at you, and he smiles before leaning up to you. He’s centimeters away from you, his gaze dancing across your face. Your hair falls from where you had tucked it behind your ears and forms a curtain around the two of you. His lips twitch upwards at your shy comment, and he bumps your nose with his own.
“Can I kiss you, my love?” He brings one of his hands to your cheek and you lean into it. Lean into him. You nod, and he exhales quietly. 
The kiss is slow to start. Neither of you is very affectionate people in public. You’re not cold to anyone or each other, just more reserved. This means that you hadn’t shared many kisses these past few months. Not that it was bad, of course.
Wonwoo pulls away from you just a bit to give you some breathing room, ready to tell you that the two of you should get going. You don’t let him speak, and you press your lips back to his. His hand is still resting on your cheek, thumb brushing over it gently as his lips move carefully over yours. 
You know you should probably, but his lips are just so addicting. Every time Wonwoo pulls away from you, you chase his lips. He’s still smiling against your lips, fully aware of the effect he has on you. Your tongue pushes out gently, swiping along his lower lip and he inhales quietly but sharply. He allows you in, his tongue poking at your own but he lets you lead the kiss for the most part. 
“Y/n,” he mumbles against your lips, moving his hand to grip your chin loosely between two fingers. He pulls back and this time you can’t fight against him. “My love, we have to get going if we want to make our reservation and you and I both know how you’ve been looking forward to this.” You frown and Wonwoo presses another soft kiss against your lips. “C’mon, baby. Go get your shoes and we’ll get going.” 
The drive to the restaurant is long and excruciating. You can’t help the butterflies in your stomach while you watch Wonwoo drive, his hand gripping the steering wheel loosely with one hand while the other plays with your fingers on the center console. It’s your turn to stare at him. Him in his fitted black turtle neck and black slacks. Him in his rounded glasses with his hair that looks far too soft for you to not be allowed to play with it right now. 
“If you keep staring at me,” he squeezes your hand tightly and you purse your lips. “I’m going to have to turn the car around, my love.” 
“Would that be so bad, Wonwoo?” He smirks a bit but doesn’t respond for a moment. He just moves his hand out of your own and to your thigh. Your body tenses, your back straightens, and the butterflies in your stomach become more like a zoo. His fingers squeeze lightly at your skin, but he doesn’t push any further than that. Whether it’s respect or he’s simply teasing you, you can’t help the small ache within you, crying out for him to touch you. 
“No,” he finally says. “No, it wouldn’t.” 
Oh. 
Oh no.
When you’re finally in the restaurant, sat at a little booth in the corner per Wonwoo’s request, he makes it a point to sit right next to you instead of across. The tension from the car seems to have disappeared as soon as you sat down, and the two of you begin with light small talk. Talking about your weeks, how work has been since you last saw each other. Simple conversation to keep you busy until your food has been ordered. As you talk, you notice that he’s still got that look in his eyes.
He’s still completely starstruck by you, and the more you realize it the more nervous you get and the more his smile widens. 
“Nervous, my love?” He takes a sip of the drink in front of him, his arm thrown around the back of the seat and his body turned mostly toward you.
“No,” You deny, but the more you deny it the less you believe yourself. “Not at all.” He chuckles at the smile you flash him. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Yeah, absolutely.” You know he sees right through your little lies, but you’re glad he doesn’t mention it again. 
Dinner and dessert. That’s all you have to get through and then you’ll have Wonwoo to yourself again. So long as you can both hold off for that long, at least. Since your entrées came out, Wonwoo’s been looking at you with an expression you can’t quite read. His eyes are darker, but maybe it’s just the lighting. 
“You know,” he leans toward you a bit and you blink rapidly. Your dessert spoon is held loosely in your hand, balancing delicately above some cake that you’d both decided on sharing. “You’re so pretty, my love.” 
“So you’ve told me.” You try to keep the nerves out of your voice but it’s hard when he looks like he wants to eat you alive.
“And now I’m telling you again.” He shrugs and takes your spoon out of your hand. He taps it against the side of the plate, thinking for a moment. 
“You look lost in thought, Nonu.” You tilt your head and gaze at him curiously. “Are you okay?” Wonwoo chuckles and shakes his head. Then he nods.
“I’m perfect, my love. Absolutely perfect.” The spoon dips into the cake before you and he’s rising before the spoon reaches his mouth. “Let’s get out of here.”
The tension from the ride to the restaurant has returned. Wonwoo seems tenser than you had been, and that’s making you nervous. You can’t help but wonder if you did something wrong at some point during the night. Wonder if something happened and you just didn’t pick up on it. As much as you think back, there’s not a single thing that you can find that might have upset him. 
Wonwoo has both his hands on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly as he stares at the road. You don’t understand. Everything had been going so smoothly, and as soon as you both left the restaurant and got in his car, he’d stopped talking. Stopped interacting with you. 
“Nonu?” Your voice is quiet, cutting through the silence of the car. He glancest you, eyes the way you’re turned completely toward him in your seat. 
“Sit back down, my love.” The usage of the pet name makes you relax, but not a lot. 
“Something’s wrong, right?” He doesn’t respond, so you press the topic a bit more. “Did I do something wrong?” 
“What?” You can see his brows knitting together and you nervously bit at your lip.
“Well…you’ve been really quiet and tense since we left the restaurant and I figured that, well, maybe I’d done something wrong…?” Your voice trails off and Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek. 
“You didn’t— I’m just—” Wonwoo sighs and turns into your apartment complex, parking in one of the guests spaces and shutting off the engine. Your eyes are wide with nerves and shock, and he grabs one of your hands. “C’mere, my love.” He pats his thigh and waits for you to realize what he’d asked. There’s a blush on your cheeks as you climb over the central console rather clumsily and place your legs on either side of him. Your hands are sitting in your lap and he takes them into his own. 
“If I did something wrong,” you mumble, “please tell me—”
“You did nothing wrong, my love.” Wonwoo squeezes your hands tightly in his own and sighs. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” 
“S’okay.” You smile at him and tilt your head. “What’s got you so tense, then?” He hums and runs his hands up and down your arms and pulls you just a little closer. 
“I just…” His voice trails off when he locks eyes with you. This whole night he’d been restraining from repeating what happened in your apartment. He didn’t want to push you too far too fast, but with the way you’re looking at him… though the look is of pure innocence, he can’t help but want to kiss you until neither of you can breathe. “It’s not important, my love. I promise I didn’t intend to come off as tense.” You don’t believe him, and he knows that, but you nod and lean forward to place a small kiss on his cheek. 
“As long as you’re okay…” His nose brushes against your cheek as he moves to look you in the eyes again, your faces now centimeters apart. Your cheeks flare red at the pure adoration in his eyes. “Can…” you clear your throat, fidgeting on his lap. You feel his body tense up and your stomach begins to do somersaults. “Can I kiss you?”  
The man under you doesn’t give you a verbal response. He takes his glasses off to set them down in the cupholders, lest they poke one of you in the eye. His lips find yours in a matter of moments afterward. The kiss is similar to the one in your apartment, paced slowly by him even though all you want is for him to kiss you harder. Faster. Wonwoo’s hands are settled on your thigh and on your waist, his grip tightening and loosening periodically as the kiss continues. Your arms are wrapped fully around his shoulders, pulling him closer and closer. 
When your tongue pushes at his lower lip, he doesn’t open up for you. You can feel the smirk on his face though your eyes are closed and you can’t see him. Your tongue retracts back into your mouth, not quite willing to push his limits at the moment. A split second later, however, his tongue is pushing its way past your lips. You inhale sharply, your mouth opening just a bit. Just enough for his tongue to slip into your mouth. Your own pushes back, and the kiss becomes something neither of you expected it to. It’s sloppy and wet and desperate and neither of you wants to pull away. 
The first time you suck on his tongue while it’s in your mouth, Wonwoo lets out a low groan that has your body shuddering. The next time, he pulls away from you, his eyes dark with an emotion you hadn’t seen before, but now recognize as lust. He doesn’t say anything as he looks at you, but the hand on your waist slides up to rest under your jaw. Your wavered breaths falter when he squeezes your jaw, your mouth opening and releasing a quiet whine that has him twitching in his slacks. 
“So pretty, my love.” Wonwoo coos, his lips crushed against yours just moments later. It’s a bit harder for you to kiss him back when he’s got your jaw in an iron grip, making it so all you can do is swirl your tongue around his and let him kiss you. The whole situation has your eyes rolling back, your spine arching into him, and your core aching. 
The lipstick you’d worked so hard to keep nice throughout the dinner has been smeared all across your lips and rubbed onto Wonwoo’s own. He doesn’t mind, though. He doesn’t mind one bit because he’d been thinking about this since the moment you first kissed him at the edge of your bed. 
Wonwoo’s tongue licks at the roof of your mouth, flicks against the tip of your tongue, and traces every single centimeter of your wet cavern that he can reach before he’s releasing your jaw and you’re finally able to return his…affection. He barely gives you the chance, much to your dismay, before he’s tracing his lips along your jaw and placing kisses against the side of your neck. Those kisses become harsher and harsher the lower he goes, stopping at your collarbone and pushing you back a bit so he can undo the first few buttons of your dress shirt and place kisses against the skin of your chest. One of your hands tangles in his hair, the other gripping the fabric of his turtleneck, holding him against you while breathy moans bubble in your throat. 
The kisses he places are unlike anything you’d received before. He sucks and bites at the skin under his mouth until there are dark purple marks beginning to form before he runs his tongue over them and places softer, sweeter kisses over each one to soothe the ache that’s been created. He’s rough, but still gentle with you. He supports your back so you don’t hit the steering wheel, and pulls your shirt up just enough to keep you somewhat covered due to the fact that you’re still in his car. A car with tinted windows, but he doesn’t want to risk anything in such a public area. 
“Is this…” Your voice is high-pitched, gasps and whines interrupting you as he continues to suck marks into as many places as he can reach. “Is this why— fuck— why you were— were so tense— oh god, Nonu—” Your lover uses one hand to tilt your head, nipping your earlobe and sucking a mark into the skin just beneath your ear. He hums when you finish you’d struggled so hard with. 
“Maybe.” There’s amusement in his voice and Wonwoo trails his lips back up your neck and pulls away from you completely. 
That look is in his eyes again as he gazes over the art he placed on your skin. Hickeys litter your chest, your collarbones, and your neck. Some of them are easily hidden, some of them are not which makes his heart swell with pride. Your hair is in complete disarray, and your shirt has fallen down completely on one side. Your lipstick is completely smeared across your lips, cheek, and chin from how furiously he’d been kissing you. 
“I’m gonna have to show up to work like this tomorrow.” You pout at his while he helps you fix your shirt, doing all the buttons and adjusting the collar. He smiles and pulls you down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. You have his glasses in your hand when he pulls away from them, and he closes his eyes while you push them up his nose. 
“It’s awfully bold, my love,” he runs his thumb across your cheek again and leans up until his lips are right next to your ear, “that you’ll be able to leave the apartment by the time I’m done with you.”
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Pairing : Choi San x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; arguing ; heavy angst ; car accident ; reader dies at the end ; Word Count : 3.8k A/N : ->I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING THE TWS! PLEASE! SOME PEOPLE SKIP OVER THEM, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT! I HAVE NO CHILL WITH MY ANGST SOMETIMES!
“I gotta go to the office real quick…” 
“Of course you do…” You sat on the couch, the bowl of grapes that you had been mindlessly popping into your mouth was perched atop your swollen stomach. You were nearing the end of your pregnancy, and you thought that with the numbered days and the uncertainty of whether you’d actually make it to your due date that San would have chosen staying home with you to make sure he’d be there in case your water broke. Instead, he had been going to work more frequently, as if he was trying to find any reason he could to be out of the house and away from you. 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” His footsteps had paused right at the front door, and most of the time you’d stay quiet, waiting for him to leave before rambling to yourself about how shitty he was. There wasn’t really anything different about today, you had simply grown tired of waiting and hoping that he’d finally show some sort of interest over the life he had away from work. 
“What do you think it means, San?” You retorted back, turning your head to look over your shoulder at him. His eyebrows were raised, as if he were testing you to say something else, testing you to let this argument keep going when it could easily be forgotten about, by him, when he walked out the door. “It’s always gotta go to the office, gotta go meet up with the guys, gotta go practice my dances, gotta go record a new part.” 
The overexaggerated mocking of his voice clearly had him ticked off, and he quickly shimmied out of his coat, letting it drop to the floor as he walked over to the couch to stand behind you, his eyes narrowed and his voice rising in volume. “So it’s a problem now? You’re so fucking bored that you gotta find a problem in anything to entertain yourself.” 
You scoffed loudly, placing the bowl of grapes to the side so you could push yourself up off the couch to go stand in front of him, your stomach the only thing keeping you from getting in his face at this point. “I’m not fucking bored! I’m pregnant with your fucking twins!” The way he rolled his eyes, the coy smirk that played on his face as you yelled at him like he was finding enjoyment in your aggravation. It was blood boiling. “You think you’re so great, you’re Gods gift to mankind… You’re shit where it matters most.” 
His sarcastic chuckle was only proof of how much he didn’t care, how he thought this was nothing less than a comedic waste of his time. “That’s not what you thought 3 years ago, and it’s not what you thought 7 months ago… Is it?” His eyes flicked down between your face and your stomach, the smirk on his face had your hand twitching, wanting nothing more than to smack it off. “But if you think I’m such shit… You can leave. I’m not keeping you here.” 
So that’s how he was going to be? Of all things that you could have thought he’d say, you never thought that would be one of them. “Fine… But when you get home from whatever the fuck you do at the office and realize that I’m not here… Don’t call me. I’m fucking done with you. I’m over it, I’m over all of this.” 
He snorted loudly, walking over to pick his coat up off the floor and put his shoes on. “Sure you are.” He mocked, grabbing his keys off the hook and walking out the door. There wasn’t an I love you, there wasn’t even a goodbye muttered over his shoulder. He simply walked out, and that’s exactly what you were planning on doing too. 
You weren’t even sure how you were supposed to go about getting everything that you needed. It’s not like you could pack up all the cribs and stuff that had already been put together in the nursery, not by yourself, and not in the little sedan that you had. You could only pack what you needed right now and think of the other things later. 
The baby’s clothes were thrown into the suitcase that had been on the floor, already half filled with the clothes that you’d be taking. You had already called your mom to ask if you could come stay with her for a bit, and she had offered to pick you up herself, but you knew that it would only take longer that way and you didn’t want to risk San coming back home, knowing that it would only turn into another argument. 
You weren’t even supposed to be driving at this stage of your pregnancy, the doctors had told you that it would be dangerous, and considering your water could break at any point, they didn’t think that it would be safe for you to be behind the wheel of any car on any road. Maybe that’s why San had so carelessly said what he did, why he seemed so unbothered when he walked out the door. He didn’t think you’d actually leave, but he was wrong. You weren’t going to stay in a relationship where one side clearly didn’t care about the other. He wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he clearly wasn’t ready to be a father, especially not to the twins that you were carrying. 
The snarky attitude that he had carried on his way out the front door had completely diminished once he was by himself in the car, and with it gone, it only left room for his annoyance. Not just with you, but with himself. You weren’t taking into consideration that it was a hard transition for him to make, being a full-time idol and having to prepare himself to become a father to 2 kids in less than a month. Of course, you were the one truly having to deal with all the changes, not just in your lifestyle, but your body, your hormones, everything. Sometimes he needed to go to work, just to get away from it all for a bit. It was strange how work became his place of relaxation now with everything going on. 
He should have talked to you about the way he was feeling, he knew that you’d listen, you always did no matter what he wanted to talk about. He hadn’t given you that opportunity to listen though, and now the two of you were arguing again. It seems like that’s all you were able to do now. As soon as one of your mouths opened, the only words that came out were ones that would inflict some kind of pain or cause anger. It never used to be this way, and he knew that the stress of the upcoming and unavoidable change was the main factor that caused all of this, but that didn’t make it any better. 
“Bad day?” Hongjoong asked when San walked into the practice room, all the eyes of the other members on him as he dropped his practice bag on the floor and headed right to the water cooler. All of the guys knew about you, they had been so excited to hear about your pregnancy as well, looking forward to 2 brand new family members that they could spoil. What they didn’t know about was the constant arguing, and usually San was able to hide his frustrations whenever he got to work, but today that wasn’t the case. “Is Y/N alright?” 
San huffed loudly at the mention of your name, his neck twisting sharply to stare at Hongjoong. “Don’t.” He exhaled the word, glaring at the leader. “I just… Can we get things done quickly?” He muttered, wanting to get home to you as soon as possible. Hopefully you’d both have cooled off by the time he was done there and he would finally be able to open up to you about what was bothering you. It’s better late than never… right? 
Practice didn’t go by as quickly as he wanted it to, he and the guys ended up going out to a nearby cafe to get a quick bite to eat. It only frustrated him more considering he had been trying to get in touch with you the past hour and you haven’t responded. Surely you wouldn’t have actually left him, he had heard the doctors orders as clearly as you had, and unless someone came to get you, you wouldn’t have left the house. 
The television in the cafe was playing, and while San usually wouldn’t pay any attention to what was on, he quickly realized that whatever was on the screen was important. Every customer and employee were standing right beneath it, their hands covering their mouths as their eyes widened at the scene that was currently being filmed by the helicopter. 
It was horrific, the mangled carcass of the small car that hadn’t stood a chance against the truck that was now sitting on top of it. The car was unrecognizable, and San couldn’t help but stare, much like everyone else in the cafe, unable to pull his eyes away from the sad scene. 
“I bet it was a drunk driver…” “That poor person in the car though…” “I hope it was quick for them.” The voices of patrons murmured, and the atmosphere was suffocatingly morbid. There hadn’t been any information given out yet about either of the people driving, and others were already saying that one of them was dead? Of course, he could see how they’d think that, but it didn’t change the fact that people were talking as if this person didn’t stand a chance. Miracles could happen. 
“That’s so sad…” Wooyoung shook his head as he sat down at the table, the first one of all of them that was able to pry his eyes away from the television. “It looks like it was on your street, San.” He pointed out, and when San stared at the screen a little longer, he was able to pinpoint certain store fronts that he’d go by every day to get to and from work.
He huffed out a curse, dreading the traffic that he knew would be backed up. “Do you want to start heading home now so that you can make it there by dinner time?” Hongjoong asked, watching as San pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m sure Y/N will understand if you’re a little bit late coming home. There’s no way she hasn’t seen or heard about what’s going on. Just… Start heading home, and text me when you get there so I know you made it through.” 
San nodded, sparing one last look at the tv screen before walking out of the cafe. It was crazy how fast life could be taken from people. Now that he was alone with his thoughts, he wondered about the person that had been driving the car. Did that person have someone in their life that meant the world to them? Did that person have a family? You never know if today would be your last day with the ones that you love, you shouldn’t take that for granted. 
Those thoughts had San rushing to his car. He wanted you to know he loved you, how much you meant to him, how happy he was that you were in his life. There’s no one else in the world that he’d rather spend every single day with, and the more he thought about it, the more foolish he felt about the argument that he had with you this morning. All you had wanted was for him to stay home with you, and he had gotten mad about that. He’d make sure to make it up to you, to spend as much time with you as he could. 
It took almost an hour and a half for traffic to start moving, and by moving, it was simply inching forward. His foot had grown tired from pressing down on the brake for so long, and most people had just turned off their engines while waiting. 
The flashing lights from the police vehicles and the firetrucks and the ambulances reflected off shop windows, and there were lines of people standing on the sidewalk behind the police tape trying to get a view of the wreck sight. People's morbid curiosity never failed to baffle him, he didn’t understand why anyone would want to see anything that had happened there, especially not up close. 
He refused to look at the scene when he drove past it, keeping his eyes straight ahead. The last thing he wanted to see was the body, or bodies of the people or person that had been in the car. He needed to keep his mind clear, he needed to focus on just getting to you, being home with you. 
By the time he finally got to the house the sun was setting, a view that he loved to share with you on the back porch or laying on a blanket, your head nestled perfectly against his shoulder as his fingers absentmindedly played with your hair, your eyes marveling at the tangerine and cotton candy pink clouds that moved slowly across the darkening sky. 
He missed those days, and the saddest part was that he's the only one keeping them from happening. Nothing was stopping him from spending evenings with you, nothing was stopping him from spending any time with you at all. The only thing stopping him was himself. He’d change that though, he’d spend more time with you, he’d hold you and tell you how beautiful you are, how much you meant to him, how much he loved you, how lucky he is to spend every single day with you. 
He parked the car, his eyes glancing back in the rear view mirror at the continued flashing emergency lights, and then down at the two car seats that had been set up in the back seats for a month already. Those seats once had a feeling of panic setting into him, questioning whether he’d be a good enough father, a good enough supporter for you. Now the sight of those seats made him feel warm, even a little bit fuzzy. You were his, he was starting his own family with you, and he’d be able to get through it with you by his side. Everything would be okay. 
It was like a race, getting up to the house, his smile wide as he anticipated seeing you. It was completely different from the way he left, and he hoped that you’d understand, that you’d listen to his reasoning, to his apology. He was ready to be better, to live happily in the life that the two of you had created together. 
The door was pushed open and the orange hue of sunlight was cast across the hardwood floors. “Babe?!” He called out for you, looking around the living room. The bowl of grapes were still sitting on the couch, you must still be there, you probably just had to use the bathroom. He moved further into the house, peeking into the bathroom and seeing that it was empty. So was the bedroom. The last room to check was the nursery, and when he walked in, he saw the closets had been opened, and not just that, but outfits that had once been neatly hung and color organized on the racks were now gone. “Y/N…?” Your name was now whispered as his stomach and his heart seemed to tighten, bile rising in his throat. Did you actually leave him? Did you truly believe that that’s what he wanted you to do? 
He backed out of the room, his back hitting the wall behind him before he sprinted to the front door, throwing it open and finally realizing that your car wasn’t parked. He was so excited about going in and seeing you that he hadn’t even noticed… How had he missed it? His phone started vibrating in his pocket, and he wished that it was you, pulling it out and looking at the name on his screen. Hongjoong. 
“I made it home… Don’t worry…” San muttered into the receiver, trying to sound as calm as he possibly could, but his throat was closing up and his eyes were becoming blurry with tears as he looked at the empty parking spot where your car had once been. 
“That’s good… Did you talk to her?” The question had San swallowing back the bile that was making its way further up his throat. No, he didn’t talk to you, he didn’t get to, and right now he didn’t even know where you were which was terrifying to him. 
“I’m kind of busy right now… I’ll text you later.” San said, ending the call before Hongjoong could ask any questions. Would you have gone to your parents? Maybe your friends? He didn’t know any of their numbers off hand, and the fact that you didn’t even let him know where you were going, you didn’t want him to find you. He really fucked up this time, and now he was in the dark and you were the only light that he wanted. 
The keys were still in his pocket, and while he dreaded the thought of having to drive back through the traffic jam caused my the accident, he needed to get to your parents place, maybe you were there, he hoped that you were there. 
Traffic idled slowly past the accident, back to back brake lights illuminated the road, and he was sure that things were only moving slower because everyone just wanted to get a good view. People were sick, how could anyone look at that? 
As he moved closer, the model of the car, even being mangled, the make of the car, the color… His heart that had been sinking so slowly into the pit of his stomach lurched up into his throat. It wasn’t just the model and the make though, that would have been able to be written off as a coincidence… It was the license plate that had been slightly dangling off the back of the car. He knew those numbers, he had went with you to get those numbers recently and helped put them on the back of your car. 
Tears were already flowing as he veered off to the side of the road, officers and paramedics trying to stop him from climbing out of his car, but he couldn’t be stopped. He threw the car door open and ran over to the car, it was your car. The truck that had hit you was already pulled off to the side, completely unscathed. The driver's side door of your car was in the process of being pried off. 
“Sir, get back in your car!” The officer shouted, trying to keep San from moving any closer, but he was a force to be reckoned with at this point, using all of his weight to push against the officer, trying to get closer. “Sir!” 
“No!” San screamed, pushing back against the office and rushing towards your car, wishing that he hadn’t when he saw you, falling to his knees beside your door, his sobs choked off as he doubled over. “Please… Please! God! No! Fuck!” He shouted, unable to control his emotions. The glass that had shattered upon impact was imbedding itself into his knees, the slight stinging wasn’t nearly as painful as losing you, living a life without you in it. How was he even supposed to navigate through life without you? 
“Sir, we’re gonna need you to move. We need to get her out of there…” The officer that had tried to pull him away now took on a more sympathetic tone, realizing clearly what was going on. San couldn’t move though, it was like his legs were nothing more than noodles and the rest of him was like lead. “Please…” 
“Will it make a difference?” He muttered, his movements zombie-like as he pushed himself up off the ground, his jeans bloodied from the cuts he got when he landed on the glass, and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying so much. “Will she live? Will the babies live?” The officer's eyes widened, immediately looking through the window of the back seat of your car, and San only shook his head as he sniffled loudly. “She was pregnant… The twins… She…” His breaths were shaky, and they came so fast he was getting light headed, he was on the verge of passing out. “I’ve lost everything… Didn’t I…?” 
The officer's eyes drifted down to the ground, his head bowed. “I’m so sorry sir, I truly am.” That was the first sorry that San had heard, but it surely wouldn’t be the last, at least not for a while. He never understood why people apologize for things like this. It’s not like they were the ones who had done it, and no amount of sorries would bring you back. You were gone… 
He sat on the edge of the curb, watching as bright orange sparks flew up in the air, the skin crawling sound of steel against steel as when firefighters cut into the hood of the car. They had tried their best to pry the door off, but they couldn’t. There was no hope, although he had given up on that anyway. All he could do was wait for them to pull you out so he could say his final goodbyes, the goodbyes that should have been said to you as he walked out the front door this morning, goodbyes that shouldn’t have been said at all as he sat beside you on the couch and held you close. 
He had told you to leave, he had been foolish enough to think that you’d still be there when he got back, that you’d continue to put up with him. This was all his fault… He had blindly chosen fame and the love and adoration of people around the world over you, the love of his life. Now he had nothing, he had truly lost everything in the blink of an eye, he hadn’t even told you that he loved you . He could only hope that you knew that he did, that somewhere, wherever you were, you knew that he loved you more than anything. You were the light of his life, the light at the end of the darkest of tunnels, and maybe one day, when the time comes, you’d be his light once more, guiding him back to you, and he’d be able to tell you that he loves you like he should have done today. 
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sev-on-kamino · 9 months
Text
Absence//Fonder Pt. 2
Summary: The boys surprise you with a trip to your home world and a vocabulary lesson.
Pairing: The Bad Batch x medic fem!reader (pronouns she/her, no physical descriptions, no y/n, pet names)
Warnings: Crosshair, angst (not much I swear!), fluff so sweet you’ll need your dentist, sweet kisses ( the smut happens in chapter 3 😏) but MINORS DNI
Written while listening to “Tell Her You Love Her” by Echosmith
Series playlist can be found here!
Part 1 Part 3
Word count: 3132
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Crosshair had been called many things in his life. Talented, cocky, aloof to name a few. No one had ever called him a coward though. It was in his very nature to look at the impossible and find a way.
The odds didn’t matter.
He and his brothers had faced forces that would have given much larger squads pause, and they’d never hesitated. Never felt like they couldn’t get the job done.
Yet there he was, stomach twisted into knots, muscles in his legs twitching with the desire to bolt, afraid. Not afraid of a battalion of clankers, rollies, and spiders.
No. He was afraid of a nat born medic, who clutched Wrecker’s arm like a lifeline during turbulence. A medic who could sew up her own wounded leg without batting an eye, but would discharge her blaster at the sight of an insect. A medic who was the epitome of soft, yet had the power to crush him in the palm of her hand.
He’d never told anyone he cared for them, nor had he asked anyone what they felt for him. Quite frankly he didn’t give a fuck. The fleeting attentions of strangers, whose names he would forget immediately, had been more than enough to scratch the well-concealed itch for a semblance of connection.
Now, you were ruining him without even trying. Punching a hole straight through his carefully crafted armor. Making him weak.
And in a few moments, depending on your reaction, you could break all five of them. Clone Force 99 could be brought to its knees by you in a single instant.
He watched his brothers as they led you towards the location Tech had chosen. Excitement radiated off of you like a sun’s rays. He would never admit it, but he was dying to be wrong this time. He wanted to believe that you could love them. That you could love him.
Blindfolded, you were unable to see the looks of hope and affection etched onto their shared features. You were simply excited for another adventure with them. Hunter’s hands rested securely on your shoulders with your hands over them.
The sergeant had woken you up upon landing with a bandana in hand.
“We’ve got a surprise for you,” he said, as you got dressed.
“Really?” you asked, mind racing as you tried to imagine what it was. It wasn’t your birthday, their decant day, or any other holiday. Not that it mattered. The fact that the five of them had formed a plan to surprise you damn near made your brain short circuit. That showed a level of care and consideration you had rarely even received from people you were seriously dating.
“Yep, gotta make sure you don’t peek though,” he said waving the bandana.
You resisted the urge to make a filthy joke about being tied up for them and instead turned so Hunter could tie the bandana on. The world went dark, and you took a nervous breath until you felt Hunter’s hands on your shoulders, and you relaxed. He would never let anything happen to you.
“Where’s my bucket?” You asked, suddenly feeling naked without it.
“You won’t need it here,” Hunter said, steering you towards the door.
“Is this some kind of initiation thing?” you asked, breaking the silence. “Testing my bravery to prove I’m one of you?”
Wrecker snorted, “That’s a pretty good idea! We could dangle you over a cliff by your ankle?”
“If I don’t scream, I’m in?” You asked with a giggle.
“Grow up, you two,” Crosshair said, and you swore you could hear him rolling his eyes.
“…yes.” Wrecker whispered in answer to your question, setting off more giggles.
“We’ve got a little hike coming up, so one of us will carry you,” Hunter said, as you all came to a stop.
Even blindfolded you knew where all of them were by their steps. You reached for Wrecker, but Hunter caught your hand.
“Wrecker’s got his hands full,” Hunter said, and you could hear a smile in his voice. It made your stomach flip with excitement.
“Ooooh, the plot thickens.” You stepped forward and instead found Tech’s shoulders, wrapping your arms around him. You made a soft noise of surprise, as he grabbed your thighs, and hoisted you off the ground easily.
“Are you comfortable?” Tech asked.
“Yes, sir,” you reply, face pressed against the side of Tech’s helmet.
You hum softly, listening to the sound of your squads’ steps, mind conjuring all sorts of fantastic scenarios for what they could have planned.
It was quiet and warm, and you could hear their boots crunching over dry ground, so you knew you weren’t on Kamino. You had been sleeping for the majority of the trip, and blindfolded before stepping off of the ship, so you couldn’t use the stars for clues.
You hummed softly as the trek continued, occasionally grinning when Wrecker would chuckle at some joke from Echo you couldn’t quite make out. You were close to beginning a round of “Are we there yet?” when Tech stopped, and slowly released his grip on your thighs.
“We have arrived at our intended destination,” he said, as you got your feet under yourself after several minutes of being carried.
Hunter removed the bandana, and you looked around. A small city twinkled in the valley below your position atop a massive hill. You looked to the rich blue night sky above, and connected the stars. Your brow furrowed a moment before the realization hit you. You were home…well, your home world. Home was the Marauder now. A lump formed in your throat, and tears pooled in your eyes.
“You brought me home?” You asked, turning to face them, smiling even as the tears poured down your face.
“We missed you, and we thought this would be a good welcome home surprise,” Echo said.
“It was Hunter’s idea,” Tech supplied.
“Oh, Hunter, this is perfect!” You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his chest. “Thank you.”
Hunter held you close a moment, before releasing you slowly to smile down at you.
“This is a pretty special spot, you know?” You asked tucking your arms behind your back and rising up on the balls of your feet.
“Yes, I selected it for that very reason. The local population has designated this as a place to share important news with loved ones,” Tech said, clearly proud of himself.
“Right as always, Tech,” you beamed at him. “Planning to share some news?”
“Actually we thought today might be a nice day to teach you some Mando’a, so you know what we’re saying to you,” Hunter said nodding towards Wrecker, who took a deep breath and stepped up to take your hands.
“Finally!” You cheered, buzzing with excitement.
A bright smile lit up your features as you looked up at him. He smiled warmly, eyes roaming your face. You’d only been gone a couple of weeks, but Wrecker had missed you fiercely every moment.
“Well, we call you ‘mesh’la’ cause it means beautiful. Easy to see why. You are beautiful inside and out,” Wrecker said before taking you gently by your arms and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
Your heart jumped and your breath hitched. You cleared your throat and said, “I knew I liked that one.”
He smiled warmly, and stepped to the side, gently guiding you to Echo, who took one of your hands next. He rested his scomplink against your waist, and you held his bicep, as you beamed expectantly at him.
“We call you ‘saraad’ because it means flower. You make every place you’re in brighter, more alive.” Echo kissed your forehead, and you felt anticipation buzzing in your chest. Your heart beat faster than before, as Tech took his place before you could even react.
“Senaar’ika means little bird. You are always eager to take flight whether you are ready or not. Brave, reckless to be certain, but brave nonetheless,” straight to the point as ever, Tech pressed a kiss to your cheek.
You released a shuddering breath, your face warming up under their gentle affections. Am I dreaming? You thought, now scared to move or speak for fear of breaking the spell they were weaving around you.
Hunter hesitated only a moment before resting a hand on your waist, as the other cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothingly over your cheekbone. Your eyes met his, as you placed your hands on his chest and held your breath.
“‘Cyare’ is one you’ve heard more and more lately. The closest word in basic is beloved,” Hunter said, and you knew he’d heard your heart skip a beat before racing away.
“You’re special to us, and we want to keep you close…closer,” Hunter took a deep breath, his warm brown eyes held yours. “We’ve fallen for you, and we hope that’s ok. Nothing has to change if you don’t want it to.”
“You’ve fallen for me? I-, I…I can’t even…” you stammered, simultaneously thrilled and confused. You took a deep breath, lifting one hand to rest over his against your face, the other sliding up to caress his face.
“Is it ok, if I kiss you now?” He asked. You nodded immediately.
He smiled and leaned down to press his lips to yours. You didn’t wake up. His arm wrapped around your waist, and you knew it was real. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to yours.
“Been wanting to do that for awhile now,” he confessed.
“That makes two of us…or maybe 6 of us,” you said with a nervous laugh.
You’d thought of no less than a dozen different scenarios when Hunter had blindfolded you, but you never imagined this could be a possibility. Not even in your wildest dreams did you allow yourself to believe that the 5 amazing men standing before you could care for you the way you cared for them.
There’s a relieved sigh from behind Hunter, and you leaned around him to see Crosshair properly. His eyes were taking you in much like he had upon your return. Drinking you in while he figured out what to say. You looked up at Hunter, and he nodded, stepping back to give you a path to Crosshair. Taking a deep breath, you make your way towards the sniper.
For the first time since you met him, you reached for Crosshair, taking hold of him with confidence. Your eyes met his, a light smile playing on your lips.
“Any special words you wanna teach me, Crosshair?” You asked, hoping your voice was steady.
“You already know my favorite word for you. The one that’s been going through my mind since you left,” Crosshair said quietly, bringing his lips within an inch of yours.
“And what word would that be?” you asked, moving closer to let your lips brush his.
“Mine,” he said before closing the distance between you, kissing you with relief. The first kiss had been almost hesistant, as a part of him was sure he was stealing affection that wasn’t meant for him. But it was meant for him. You wanted him…all of them. You weren’t running away or pulling back. You were in his arms, holding him close like he belonged to you.
Wrecker cleared his throat noisily, and Crosshair broke the kiss to give him a look.
“Just for that, you can go last,” Crosshair sneered, guiding you towards Tech, who pulled you close and let his arms settle comfortably around your waist. Just like before your arms rested over his shoulders, this time your fingers carded gently through his hair.
“I hope that you will be willing to answer a few questions for me, senaar’ika. I have been compiling data for quite some time, and despite today’s success, I still have some theories to test in order to draw definitive conclusions.”
“I’ll indulge your experiments, if you’ll indulge mine,” you said with a mysterious little smile.
“Well, of course, I am more than happy to assist in the pursuit of knowledge,” Tech replied. Happy with your response he leaned in to brush his lips softly over yours. You whined, wanting more, and he pressed closer, letting you feel his need for you. Tech’s kiss was just like him, a curious exploration that left you giddy.
He pulled back, and opened his mouth to say more, but Wrecker cut him off, “Maker, Tech, you can talk her ear off later. We’ve still got another thing to give her!”
“Despite the rudeness of his delivery, Wrecker is correct. We do have another surprise for you,” Tech said, releasing you slowly, as Echo moved close to pull you into his arms.
“I almost slipped up and kissed you last night, so I may need to make up for that,” Echo said, before kissing you slow and deep. You were so sure your heart was actually going to break its way out of your ribcage if they kept going at this rate.
“Stars, Echo, I can think of a few more things for you to make up,” you said breathlessly, as he pulled back with a grin.
“Finally!” Wrecker said, spinning you around and scooping you up into his arms to press the softest kiss of all to your lips. He handled you with such care and affection, you couldn’t help but sigh happily against his lips.
“Kriff me, if I’d known this would happen, I’d have left sooner,” you said with a laugh, as Wrecker set you back down on your feet.
“Well, no more running off to help Cody because we missed you too much,” Wrecker said, caressing your face gently.
“I promise I won’t be doing that again for quite some time,” you confessed.
“Good, because Cross here, was worse than usual,” Hunter teased.
Crosshair scowled and folded his arms. “Just tell her the next surprise.”
“You belong with us no matter what, so Crosshair gave your helmet a little update,” Echo said from just beyond Wrecker, where Hunter and Tech had set up a fire, and a tent. You suspected that’s what had kept Wrecker’s hands full.
Echo straightened up and passed you your bucket. You looked down at it, and a smile slowly spread across your face. A tiny skull and a 99 now adorned your helmet like a kiss on the cheek.
“Cross, you did this for me?” You asked, turning to the sniper. It was difficult to tell in the low light, you could have sworn he was blushing.
“We thought you might like it,” Hunter said.
“I love it.”
***
The six of you gathered around a happily crackling fire, as you finally answered all of their questions about your time away. Crosshair watched you with rapt attention, appreciating all of your little quirks, as you discussed the missions you’d participated in, including the one that had resulted in your injury.
“Still pissed you got shot. Not surprised though. That always happens with regs,” Wrecker said, tightening his hold on your waist, as he held you to his side.
“Hey!” Echo said, leaning around you and gesturing to himself. “I’d never let her get shot.”
“You know I don’t mean you, Echo,” Wrecker said dismissively.
“It’s just a scratch, boys,” you laughed. “There’s barely even a scar.”
“We sent you to Commander Cody with no scratches, and we expected you to come back in the same condition,” Crosshair said gesturing at you with a toothpick.
“Though I would have chosen a less objectifying way to phrase it, I agree with Crosshair,” Tech said, looking up from his datapad. “I would have thought you would be in excellent hands with our Marshal Commander, and not in a position to take damage from a sniper.”
“Awwww, did Cody let your favorite toy get all scuffed? You want a new one?” You asked with a teasing lilt to your voice.
Crosshair shook his head slowly. Tech looked offended at the suggestion.
“And have to break in another one?” Hunter interjected. “No way. You’re stuck with us now.”
“Oh no,” you gasped in mock anguish. “Whatever shall I do? Stuck with my favorite people in the galaxy. Torture.”
You draped yourself dramatically over Wrecker’s legs, much to his amusement. His hearty laughter rumbled out of his chest, as he pulled you close to his chest, so you were sitting in his lap.
“Your favorite people? In the whole galaxy?” He asked, his mismatched eyes full of hope as they focused on yours.
“Absolutely. You have been for awhile,” you confessed. “I hated being away from all of you.” You looked around the fire at each of them before bringing your focus back to Wrecker. “I mean it. I don’t wanna do that again for a good long while.”
Satisfied, Wrecker cupped your face and brought his lips to yours again. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt yourself relax against him. His lips moved over yours with a gentle confidence that made you hum low in your throat, and press closer to him.
You broke the kiss, as a yawn forced its way out of you. You were still absolutely exhausted. The thrill of their confession had given you the sweetest sugar high, and you were crashing.
“You require rest,” Tech said, “I will take first watch.”
“I’ll take it,” Crosshair said, shooting a glance at Hunter, who had covered him the night before. He’d gotten you all to himself for several hours, and he knew the others were itching to snuggle with you. He was too relieved to be selfish. For now.
You stood up and stretched, reaching for the sky you’d grown up under before wandering over to Crosshair and kneeling down to press a soft kiss to his lips.
“Come snuggle with me soon,” you whispered.
He nodded, as he watched you rise and make your way into the tent.
“We’ll keep you company, Cross,” Wrecker said with a grin, as Tech and Echo followed you into the tent, and Hunter relaxed on his back to look up at the stars.
“Oh goody,” the sniper replied with a halfhearted roll of his eyes.
***
You’d worried it would be awkward, but going to sleep between Tech and Echo felt as natural as breathing. Echo spooned up behind you, your face against Tech’s chest. The three of you chatted quietly for a little while, while their hands moved over your body absently.
You began to drift in and out of consciousness, despite your desire to stay awake and enjoy their presence.
“Sleep, saraad,” Echo commanded gently. “We’ll all be here in the morning.”
“Promise?” You asked sleepily, as you nuzzled against Tech.
“Promise,” He said, wrapping his arm around your waist.
Warm and safe, you left yourself drift away.
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callofloony · 7 months
Text
Puppy dog. (Ghost x gn!reader oneshot)
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Tags: Fluff, fluff, all the fluff, small misunderstandings, angst and insecurity too? Maybe?? Ghosts insecurity. As a treat !! Clingy Ghost, no use of y/n.
A/N: Ouyghhu im havin thoughts,, i meant for this to just be a drabble but my brain said “ha! fuck you!!!” so im gonna write abt it, ty 💞💞
~ Fic under the cut ~
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You throw your jacket over your shoulder with a slight sigh, stretching your arms for a moment before grabbing your bag. You needed to go to the store for a bit to grab some things for dinner, it was supposed to be a quick trip, so you didn’t think to tell anyone, not even your boyfriend. Simon.
“Love, what are you doing?” He asked from atop the stairs, he’d been in the shower, and you were going to send him a text when you got in the car. You didn’t even realize he’d gotten out. You flash him a smile, continuing to throw your clothes on.
“I’m heading out in a minute, need some stuff for dinner,” You replied a moment after, grabbing your keys right after. “Did you need something?”
Simon pauses for a moment, his hair was still damp, and he had minimal clothing on, just some pajama shorts he’d thrown on after showering. He hadn’t intended on going out after, but…
“…Can I come with?” He questioned simply while walking down the stairs to meet you, head tilted, and eyes big like a dog. The same eyes you’d fallen for long ago.
These words shocked you a little, you knew Simon didn’t generally like going out much, he’d run errands and go out for missions, but he preferred staying home and being with you, if he had the choice. So to hear he wanted to come with you, even for something as simple as this? It made you smile.
“Alright, puppy… Go get dressed,” You replied teasingly, making him blush a bit, corners of his mouth twitching into a faint smile as he held back a soft laugh.
“Could’ve just said yes…” He stated with faux annoyance, turning around to head back upstairs and throw on some clothes. His response made you smile a little wider.
People always thought you had scary dog privileges, like Simon was your body guard you hired off the military because of his steely gaze, and multitude of scars.
In actuality, you had loyal puppy privileges. Where Simon would cling, and follow you around everywhere, no matter where you two were going. It was his way of making sure you weren’t going to leave, and never come back. Of course, he still gave you personal space, but he didn’t want to lose you, never.
A few minutes later, he comes back down stairs dressed back up, a fabric mask on his face, some jeans, and his signature hoodie. It was a little chilly after all.
You smile and gently grab his hand, caressing his knuckles with your thumb for a moment before taking the two of you to the car. You drive, for obvious reasons… But you didn’t mind having him as passenger princess. This was just one of the ways you got to spoil him even when he refused.
You both make it to the store, and you two hop out of the car, making your way inside of the store with Simon trailing a bit behind you. But your hands never lose one another’s grip. The sight is a bit of a spectacle, but no one dared say anything, especially as your hands were linked together.
You’ve been shopping for about ten minutes now, you only have a few more items you need to grab, so you both decide to split up to make it go easier, your fingers falling away from one another as you both walk off, and that’s when people start to turn heads.
You head into another isle, looking for the vegetables you were supposed to grab, when Simon turns the corner and spots you, and decides to trail behind you, wanting to sneak up and startle you. He doesn’t get that far though.
Someone looks at the two of you concerned and taps your shoulder, Simon is confused but doesn’t say anything, hoping he can still fulfill his plan of spooking you a little.
“Uhm, excuse me? Is this guy bothering you?” The stranger asked in a whisper, gesturing to Simon with a stern and worried look on their face, making you turn your head in worry, only to find your boyfriend staring back at you.
He groans heavily in slight annoyance, making you chuckle, the stranger looks confused before you grab his hand and kiss his forehead, making it very clear what his intentions were now, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks.
“I appreciate it, but he’s my boyfriend,” You replied, making the stranger blush in embarrassment before mumbling an apology and walking away. You both paid for your items and left, giggling about the interaction on the way home.
“It’s sweet they were worried,” He started, letting out soft chuckles while replaying the interaction in his head. “But did they not see us holding hands before?”
“I know, right?” You replied while pulling into your shared driveway, you found a bit of comfort knowing that stranger was willing to help, but you also found it a little ridiculous after finding out it was just your sweet puppy boyfriend, who’d never lay a finger on you.
“The nerve,” Simon continued in a joking tone, grabbing your hand and swiftly pulling down his mask to place a gentle kiss to your lips, giggling through it. “How dare they.”
You giggled with him and started unloading the groceries, he never left your side throughout the whole process, even as you two were cooking. Laughing and joking around with one another. He was always so loving…
No wonder why he was your puppy.
A/N: Babies babies. BABIESSS 💞💞 AUYGAHH I LOVE THIS MAN. I LOVE SOFT GHOST :[[[ hope you enjoyedddd sorry if the ending was a little anti climactic, im starting to run out of writers juice aaaa >:[[ but still !! Not my worst performance! BYE BYE
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