#i wrote this at 2am so please be kind

[strgrlxox]

༒ ellie nsfw alphabet༺

✟ ꙳ i've never done one of these before so bear with me please 🙌 ❞¸

+ ¸ ❞ i was gonna tag everything that occurs but it's kind of a lot and this is kind of filthy so just go in with caution ig? + i wrote this at 2am and i was debating whether or not to post at all so . . . ꙳ ✟

⭑ A = AFTERCARE (what they’re like after sex)

you’d still be naked, sweaty, and panting but she’d want you to cuddle up with her no doubt. her body flush against yours, you can feel the pounding of her beating and you wonder if she can hear how shallow your breaths are. she probably tastes it, considering the fact that ellie loves to kiss after sex. like slow, nasty, tongue kisses immediately. after she makes sure you’re hydrated and fed and not in any pain, you both pretty much fall asleep promptly.

⭑ B = BODY PART (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

hers :: her tongue. no doubt about it. she loves how she can taste you and how easy it is to rile you up, could not fucking live without your mouth on hers at least three times a day. i imagine ellie has a major oral fixation. so yeah, she's touching and licking everywhere.

yours :: this was hard to say because ellie truly does adore your entire body. she loves your hands and the way they grab at her when you wanna pull her closer, how they feel interlocked with hers when she’s rutting her pussy against yours feverishly, or the way they push her away when she’s overstimulating you. she loves your thighs and the way they shake for her or the way they clench around her head when she’s making you cum around her tongue. she loves your lips, how you taste, and the words you say to her. but above all, i think it’s your eyes . . . ellie absolutely adores looking into your eyes when she fucks you. she can tell exactly how you’re feeling and how close you are just by the way you look at her.

⭑ C = CUM (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves it when you cum in her mouth, or her in yours. but ellie has a thing for watching you make yourself cum. she can be so mean . . . so if you’ve been extra whiny (cause you’ve been extra needy) and you finally got home so ellie could fuck so right in the way only she can. she’ll make you play with yourself first because she loves to hear how you whine for her to help you––––loves the words you say. 

“please, i need you.” you’re rubbing your clit harshly, tears bubbling in your eyes and ellie thinks you could not be anymore beautiful. 

“no, you don’t.” she hums from the edge of the bed, the only touch you get from her is her hands rubbing at your thighs. “look at this mess you made, baby. know you wanna cum so you do it yourself, then after that i’ll reward you for being so good, hm?”you whimper because she knows just what to say, reaching down to gather some of your slick on your fingertips. but you nod because you know ellie will make you cum again as long as you’re good.

⭑ D = DIRTY SECRET (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

wants to give you a tattoo of her name/initials (el.w or something because ew tattooed on you forever is a crime). just imagine her, already pussy drunk, then she sees her name right above hip or something. yeah, you’ll be walking funny tomorrow that’s for sure.

⭑ E = EXPERIENCE (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i don’t think she’d be that experienced honestly. sure, she’s had sex before maybe with like one or two people. but not more than that, probably not very into casual hookups and doesn’t really have time for them. but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what she’s doing. she does. she is an eager student and a very, very quick learner.

⭑ F = FAVORITE POSITION (this goes without saying)

any position where she can see your eyes or has a lot of access to your skin (sucking, licking, biting is a MUST). but she also loves to see your tits bouncing or ass jiggling so cowgirl and doggy are great too.

⭑ G = GOOFY (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

fucking depends. sometimes, (like 60% of the time maybe) she can be so lighthearted and gentle. other times, she gets so serious (like when she’s fucking out her frustration or when she’s been away from you for more than a few days).

⭑ H = HAIR (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

it’s the fucking apocalypse, let’s be fr. she does trim it up occasionally but besides that . . .

⭑ I = INTIMACY (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

as previously mentioned, ellie craves close contact and intimacy during sex. it isn’t enough for her to see you or simply feel you . . . ellie fucks you like she wants to live inside you. kisses you the whole time and pulls you back every time you try to pull away (yes, even for air. why on earth would she need oxygen when she’s got her lifeline *cough cough* you *cough* right there) or if she can’t kiss you she will interlock your fingers with her own, clutching harder while she tells you cutesy dirty shit like “you feel so fucking good” and “fuck, i love this pussy, baby”

⭑ J = JACK OFF (masturbation headcanon)

yeah . . . perhaps she doesn’t do it often but that doesn’t change the fact that ellie williams will touch herself thinking about you.

⭑ K = KINK (one or more of their kinks)

dacryphilia :: likes to kiss and lick your tears away. thinks you look so pretty when you cry . . . 

hair pulling :: if she’s kissing you, give her hair a yank she loves it. when she’s teasing you, pull a lil on her hair cause she loves it. when she’s eating you out, hold onto the back of her neck and grab a fistfull of her hair (afterall, she wore it down for you) push her away when it’s too much or pull her closer when you need more because . . . she fucking loves it. 

praise :: tell her how good it feels. how much you love the things she does to you. she’ll go fucking feralll if you thank her!! if she’s been away for a while, tell her you missed her while you slip your fingers into her. tell her pretty she looks when her eyes flutter closed and she makes her cute little sex faces. tell her not to hold back and how pretty she sounds when she accidently lets out a moan that she had been trying to hold in. remind her just how much she turns you on cause baby gets a lil insecure sometimes. don’t forget to tell her you love her, she loves the breathy way you say it when she’s making you cum.

praise pt.2 :: ellie loves to praise you too though. she’s so good at it it’s basically second nature. never forgets to tell you how much she loves you and your pretty pussy. never forgets to remind you how good you look under or over her. thanks you when she’s been particularly needy. always says how thankful she is that you and this pussy are hers, nobody else's.

⭑ L = LOCATION (favorite places to do the do)

will do it anywhere but the domestic in her prefers your bed.

⭑ M = MOTIVATION (what turns them on, gets them going)

i don’t wanna be basic and say anything but . . . like . . . any . . thing!! she thinks you’re so effortlessly sexyy. but to give some examples; if u moan while you’re kissing . . . she immediately wants to fuck, your voice!! the way you say her name gets her going for sure for sure, if you pull her hair, and kissing her for long periods of time (aka making out with her all sloppy).

⭑ N = NO (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that will hurt you. even if you really wanted it. she refuses to put you in any kind of harm. sure, she likes to make you cry but not cause she’s hurting you.

⭑ O = ORAL (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she loves receiving, you’re fucking amazing and she loves how patient you are with her––––how you take your time to learn how body and what she likes best. the little moans you let out at the taste of her drive her insane but nothing, and i mean NOTHING beats the taste of you. her favorite meal. everytime she eats you out it’s like she’s been starved and you’re the best thing she’s ever tasted (you are). she’s so nasty with it. spit and cum dripping everywhere, sucking at your clit till your legs shake. using all the things she knows you love to make you go insane. will literally beg to taste you. if she knows you’re only denying to tease her she’ll beg more persistently in the moment (she will totally get you back for it later.) but just imagine her being like “please, please. lemme taste you. i’ll make it so good, you know i’ll make it so good.” fucking yummy.

⭑ P = PACE (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends . . . early morning sleepy sex is slow and sensual but anytime she’s feeling jealous (or you are) fast and rough for sure. either way though, it feels fucking amazing.

⭑ Q = QUICKIE (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

while she does like to take her time with you, there are times when one (or both) of you can’t control yourselves and need to cum/make the other cum immediately. cause pussy is emotional support so sometimes you or her just can’t help it.

⭑ R = RISK (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

oh for sure. when i say she’d fuck you practically anywhere you let her i fucking mean it. loves to try new things (as long as they don’t hurt you or herself) and she knows the limits. the idea of taking risks, fucking you so good in a place where you might get caught makes her go fucking feral.

⭑ S = STAMINA (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i wanna say she could go all night but it depends on the day she had. normally, y'all go for about two rounds?? maybe three if you count the sloppy sleepy morning sex that will happen once y’all wake up.

⭑ T = TOYS (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i personally like to think that ellie somehow found an unused purple strap and an unused pretty pink vibrator. i don’t think ellie would ever like to be fucked with the strap . . . maybe one day after y’all have been together for a while but she mainly likes to use it on you (she’s fucking obsessed with the way your pussy takes all of her) the vibrator is one of her favorite ways to get you (and herself) off.

⭑ U = UNFAIR (how much they like to tease)

ellie williams INVENTED teasing r u kidding?? that little shit. you hate how much you love it, cause she’ll get you so pent up and it’s so frustrating cause she’ll be all like “what’s the matter, baby?” or “is this not enough?” with a faux pout like she’s actually cares that you’re a needy mess. but it’s okay, cause all the teasing (although it may seem endless) ends in reward.

⭑ V = VOLUME (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

the first time y’all had sex, she tried to be quiet. she really did. but, fuck, it just felt so good. she let out one little moan and it was overrr. you told her not to hold back, to let you hear her. she was gonna deny it if it weren’t for that pure desperation in your voice. from there she’s so fucking loud. she can’t even try to control it. but it’s okay because . . . the sound of her fucking you is your absolute favorite sound.

⭑ W = WILD CARD (a random headcanon for the character)

this is so stupid but i feel like she has a really random and kind of elaborate list of the places she wants to fuck you in. the list ranges from in a public bathroom (checked off already) to something random asf like the third floor of an abandoned hospital or something. she got way too much energy and way too many ideas if u ask me.

⭑ X = X-RAY (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

⭑ Y = YEARNING (how high is their sex drive?)

ellie is a pussy addict okay??? borderline obsessive, obviously passionate . . . you leave her fucking ravenous without trying. like you could be having a normal day at jackson or whatever–––you’re chatting with your friends. and ellie is just absolutely enamored. she watched you, laughing at something humorous one of them had said. she loved your every little movement. the way your shoulders shook when you laughed––the furrow of your eyebrows while your friends tell dramatic stories. you made her glad to be alive and incredibly horny. she found your beauty criminal. the ease of your perfection drove her absolutely insane. she was sure she was put on the earth just to love you . . . so ofc she had to prove it. she’d drag you away, convincing you (not that she struggled in doing so) to follow her into the bathroom. she’d have two fingers in your pussy, five around your thigh. she’d be eye level with your cunt, mouth watering at the sight of you. she couldn’t help but groan, she didn’t even know it was possible for a person to be so wet, so fucking beautiful. sure, she could have waited till you both got home but what’s the fun in that? she wanted to make you cum now. that’s also not to say she can’t control herself ever. she can. it’s just fucking hard to when ur so alluring.

⭑ Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

never ever before you do, she wants to make sure ur comfortable and she likes watching you sleep (in an almost creepy way) but she just wants to make sure you're okay.

#ꗃ%ellie bellieˑ༄ #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x you #ellie williams smut #ellie williams blurb #ellie williams fluff #ꗃ%jos library⤷✰

[ouiouibaguettt]

Yellow

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ellie carpenter x reader

Y/N is the sister of Alexandre Lacazette here.

words: 2.8k

warnings: slight mentions of bad comments

→ two lovers in australia before the wwc2023!

→ inspired by yellow by Coldplay

Masterlist

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Look at the stars Look how they shine for you

Arriving at the airport after a 1-day flight. You took out the camera to continue the series of vlogs that you posts every day and which you started the week of the warm-up match against Ireland. 

"Hey guys how are you today? Personally I'm pretty good-" you said before being cut off by your teammate Selma Bacha.

"She's only in a good mood because she's going to see her girlfriend again tomorrow" she said before catching up with Grace Geyoro and Viviane Asseyi to escape you. 

"I mean she's right, I'm going to see Ellie again tomorrow." you say with a big smile before getting back on topic. 

"Anyway, we've just arrived in Melbourne to get ready for the game against Australia on the 15th of July. Honestly, I think it's going to be a tough match,  it's not at the same level as Ireland, even though Ireland had some very good players. So we're going to have to move our asses to try and win the match. I'll make a transition to show you my room at the hotel afterwards," you say before hiding your camera with your hand and turning it off.

And everything you do

Yeah, they were all yellow

Once you’re arrived at the hotel, and found out about the accommodation for the coming week, you were relieved to find yourself with Selma, your partner since the Olympique Lyonnais academy. 

"Yes, Y/N/N, we're in the same room", Selma said, jumping onto your back before bringing you down to the floor with her. 

"Yes I can read Selma" you say as you pushed her off your back to get up. Returning to the room, you take out your camera to resume the vlog. You put your hand back in front of the camera before taking it away to say.

"I'm back! So I'm going to show you the room," you say before starting to show the room. Once you’re finished, you dropped yourself onto the bed to conclude the day's video: 

"Well, guys, that was our beautiful room, so I'll see you tomorrow with Ellie! Sel' do you want to say something?" you asked your flatmate, "Yes, hang on, I'm coming" she said.

*big thump* 

"Sel' ça va?" you asked between two laughs, tears welling up in your eyes as the fall was so ridiculous. 

"Ca va" said Selma, getting up and walking more calmly towards you. "Kisses guys, sleep well, don't forget to support France for the World Cup please, goodbye" she said as she climbed back into bed. 

"You heard the boss, good night and see you tomorrow," you say, switching off your vlog before connecting the camera to the computer to post the video. 

I came along I wrote a song for you And all the things you do

As a player living under the shadow of your big brother, you were used to receiving comments like "you're not as good as your brother", "stop playing football", "well, lacazette's sister sucks lmao", but that didn't mean you were happy to receive these kinds of comments. That's how you found yourself at 2am on twitter and Instagram reading the comments you received every day. These comments made you fall asleep at 5am.

And it was called Yellow

When you woke up, Selma saw that you were still asleep, which was strange because, apart from when you are with Ellie, you are an early riser. It was when she saw the phone in your hands that Selma realised why you still hadn't woken up. So she had the wonderful idea of surprising you. Selma walked over to your camera to start the vlog of the day. 

"Hi guys, it's Selma, I know you were expecting to see Y/N/N, but she's still asleep, she hasn't had the best night, so to change that I'm going to call Ellie, because I know she's already awake, get her over here so she can wake up our favourite person. It's clearly a genius idea". She says as she picks up her phone and dials Ellie's number. 

"Hey Ellie, I'm sorry to bother you but would you like to come to our hotel right now? Because I have to tell you, Y/N/N didn't have the best night of her life. She was still asleep when I woke up, with her phone in her hands, and I think she's been on the internet again to see what people are saying about her," said Selma, worried about you. 

"Don't worry, you're not bothering me. Oh yes, why not, it's a good idea and it'll be good for her not to think about it while I'm with her" said Ellie, going back to her room to get her things, a Matildas tracksuit set. 

"Okay good, and yes, I think so too. I'm going downstairs to let the receptionist know you're coming so you don't get turned away," said Selma as she started to leave her room and head for reception. 

"Ok thanks, I'll be there in 10 or 15 minutes, see you later" said Ellie as she hung up.

So then I took my turn Oh, what a thing to have done And it was all yellow

Once Ellie arrived outside the hotel, she was immediately greeted by one of the receptionists. "Hello, what can I do to help you?" asked the hostess. 

"Hi, I'm Ellie Carpenter, Y/N Lacazette's girlfriend, I've come to visit her. Her flatmate, Selma Bacha, told me she'd told you?" said Ellie, hoping she hadn't given the wrong information. 

"Oh yes, I see, well Mrs Carpenter, your girlfriend is on the 3rd floor, room 312. Have a nice day" said the hostess. 

"Thank you very much, have a nice day too" thanked Ellie before taking the lift to room 312 on the 3rd floor. Arriving at the door of the room, Ellie took out her telephone to warn Selma.

to Selmama

I'm at the door

By the time she had put her phone away, the door opened and Selma Bacha was overjoyed to see her Lyon team-mate here. 

"Ellie" Selma shouted in a whisper as she came to give her a hug. 

"Thanks for coming" she thanked her quickly before letting Ellie into the room. 

"No worries, you know I'd do anything for our favorite person" Ellie said with a heart filled look on her face. 

"Oh that's lovely an digusting at the same time" said Selma smiling before resuming her sentence.

"So, you've got the key card on Y/N/N's bedside table if you need it, I'll go with Grace, Kenza and Viviane. Have a nice day, lovers." she said as she closed the door. Now alone, Ellie took off her shoes, then went straight to your camera to resume the vlog, "Hi everyone, this is Ellie, my moment of glory is going to be short as I'm just going to film myself waking Zoe up" she said as she placed the camera on a piece of furniture so that it was well positioned.

Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful And you know, you know I love you so

"My love, wake up" said Ellie as she sat down next to you and stroked your cheek. 

"Hmm Ellie, what are you doing here, let me sleep, I'm so tired. Give me your jumper im cold and i miss you" you grumbled as you pulled the duvet up over your face. 

"I am here because Im worried about you and because I love you. Now do you want my jumper?" asked Ellie. 

"Yes please give it to me, and no need to be worried i just read those comment last night and I shouldn't have done now cuddles please." you say holding out your hands at her like a baby. 

"Argh Ellie your jumper's all yellow" you complained girl. 

"Don’t do it again baby you are an excellent player okay? So I have to take it back?" questioned Ellie. 

"No, I'm only going to wear it because it's got your scent on it and I missed you, come on come here i ant cuddles please" you say as you put on the famous yellow jumper and grabbed Ellie by the waist to lay her down beside you. 

"I missed you too," said Ellie, putting her hand on you cheek to draw you into a kiss.

You know I love you so

After spending the morning in bed, our lovebirds got up and got ready, although you preferred to keep Ellie’s jumper, to join Caitlin Foord, and Sam Kerr at a restaurant for lunch time. When they got there, you were greeted by whistles because of the yellow clothes you were wearing. 

"That's the last time I wear yellow for you Els" you say with your cheeks flushed. 

"Don't say that, yellow suits your tan" laughs Sam before saying hello. 

"I'm going to leave again if you don't stop" you tried to intimidate the 3 matildas. Once the meal was over, the 4 people decided to go their separate ways, Sam and Caitin heading back to their hotel, and Ellie and you to your hotel, but before you could do so Caitlin turned round to say. "We'll be waiting for you in 6 days Y/N/N, I hope you're ready to lose", narrowly missing the middle finger you gave her.

I swam across I jumped across for you Oh, what a thing to do 'Cause you were all yellow

Having spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the pool, watching their series, you and Ellie went back up to your room to enjoy a couple of hours together before having to separate for the next month. 

"Why does all of your tracksuit are yellow? That colour isn't on your flag dude it's weird" you asked. 

"I don't know it's not me who create your tracksuit, and- woah hold on miss, did you really call me 'dude'" said Ellie. 

"Yes, I did, what are you gonna do 'du-'" you say before being cut off by two hands coming to tickle her on her hips. "AH- E-Ellie stop it please" you say with tears in your eyes and between two breath. 

"Said you're sorry for calling me 'dude' im your girlfirend not your dude". she threatened you. 

"I-Im sorry, now please s-stop it i can't take it anymore" you say trying to push away Ellie who had ended up on top of you. 

"Ok, Ok I will stop" said Ellie but didn't take her hands off your hips. 

"Why are you looking at me like that" asked the Australian, "Like what?" you replied. 

"Like I've just tied up all the stars in the sky" replied the blonde. 

"You're the most beautiful star" you say with a cheeky grin. 

"Okay softie come here now" replied Ellie drawing you into a kiss before resting her head in the crook of your neck.

I drew a line I drew a line for you Oh, what a thing to do And it was all yellow

When Ellie left, you noticed that she had forgotten to take her tracksuit jacket, so you took out her phone to tell her.

to Baby Aussie You forgot your jacket x

from Baby Aussie I know, I did it on purpose because I know you love yellow, and my stuff so it’s gift xx

to Baby Aussie I hate you, but thank you, I love you!! xx

from Baby Aussie I love you too baby xx

Resting your phone on your stomach, you couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach at the thought of having Ellie's jacket with you for the next few days. When it was time for dinner, you had barely got out of the shower so you grabbed the first clothes you could find before putting them on and hurrying down the stairs so as not to be late. 

"Nice jacket, Y/N." Grace told you, laughing along with Viviane and Selma. 

"I didn't know you'd changed nationality" said your coach as he left to sit at the other coaches' table. 

"Huh?" was the only thing you could reply before looking at your clothes, it was when you saw the Matildas jacket that you understood her team's jokes. 

"Leave me alone" you say as you sat down next to Selma who was filming the scene with Amel and Wendie, all posting you in Ellie's jacket, and mentioning the two of you in a instagram’s story. You decided to repost it with "I look good in yellow don't I", before switching off your phone.

And your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful And you know, for you, I'd bleed myself dry For you, I'd bleed myself dry

from @elliecarpenterr yes yellow looks good on you, but my jacket looks even better on you!

from @elliecarpenterr at least the fan are going to be happy with this content.

You saw Ellie's instragram messages as you went back to your room, so you decided to reply quickly before getting ready for bed so you could be in shape for the first training session of the week. At the end of the first training session (which was more of a muscle warm-up) of the day, you joined your foursome before going to the table for lunch. 

"Are you worried about the Australia game?" asked Selma as she bit into her apple. 

"Honestly, yeah, they're monsters mate" said Viviane as she scrolled through tiktok. 

"Yeah I agree with Viv, Sel" said Grace as she played subway surfers on her phone. 

"Yeah same as the other two, from the keeper, to the striker this team is amazing" you say watching Grace play and laughing at the tiktoks Viviane shows you. 

"Fuck, I forgot to post my vlog yesterday! Never mind, I'll continue it for a while before posting it tonight," you say, slapping your forehead. You ran back to your room to get the camera before turning it on and picking up the vlog where you left off. 

"Hi guys, day 3 in Australia, Melbourne to be precise, yesterday I got to spend the day with Ellie as you've seen our stories, today however it's training for Friday's match" you say as you sat down next to Selma. 

"This morning was pretty easy, because it was weight training to strengthen and warm up our muscles, and this afternoon it's little games and matches. Selma, any comments on this morning's warm-up?" you asked, pointing the camera at Selma. 

"It was fun, there was a good atmosphere," she said before returning to her apple. 

"Thank you Selma, Grace and Viv, how did you find this morning's session?" You asked the two other players in front of you. 

"It was cool", "It was exhausting" said both of them at the same time, while you showed yourself to the camera with a face filled with terror at the fact that both of them had spoken at exactly the same time. 

"Wow that was weird don't do speak at the same time again please" you say before you had to say goodbye to your vlog as lunch break had just finished.

 "Well, the break's over, so I'll see you later," you say as you turns off your camera.

It's true Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for you Look how they shine

Unfortunately you couldn't finish the afternoon's training session because of a sprained ankle, so you'll have to miss the match against Australia and the 1st World Cup match against Jamaica. You were on one of the sofas in the hotel lounge, in your Olympique Lyonnais shorts and ellie's yellow jumper, when you decide to finish the day's vlog. 

"I'm back earlier than planned, I've sprained my ankle so I'll be away for at least 2 weeks, and yes I can see you coming, yes I'm still wearing ellie's jumper because I miss her and it smells like her. So that's it for yesterday's and today's vlog, be well, be good, big kisses to you tomorrow" yoou say before quickly publishing the video and falling asleep on the sofa in the yellow jumper.

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And all the things that you do

#ellie carpenter #ellie carpenter x reader #matildas x reader #matildas #olympique lyonnais

[parkermunson]

Eddie begging for your attention and hands.

No specific pronouns but reader wears a skirt♡ [1.5k]

TW: Smut, 18+ only!!!!! Handjob, dacryphilia, begging (obv)

A/N: This is my very first smut, please be kind! But also I'm open to suggestions. I wrote this at 2am and haven't really looked it over so mayhaps some grammatical errors are present.

~

Perhaps the warmth of the oncoming spring ignited something in you, an insatiable hunger to tease. Or perhaps a need for control. You've been teasing him all day with your subtle touching. He's barely holding it together, his breathing unsteady and labored.

Sitting next to him at Hellfire was the perfect advantage (or punishment), gliding your hand over his knee and thigh, rubbing your thumb through his jeans with slight pressure. When you felt particularly evil, your fingers would dive into the hole in jeans to drag your nails against the skin on his lower inner thigh. Eddie's eyes would flick to you immediately, unsure whether he wants you to continue or stop altogether. When his breath hitched particularly noticably, you pulled your hand away. His knee would jerk toward you, but this was just a pause to the torture. When his attention was fully invested in the game again, his mind drifting from you finally, you repeated the cycle.

By the end of the meeting, his thoughts are focused only on you and yearns for your hands to be on his, preferably bare, body. But you're having too much fun with this cat-and-mouse game.

On the ride home, you keep your attention out the passenger side window, away from him, with your hands folded in your lap. He sighs over the soft music playing on the radio, hoping it'll grab your attention, but it does little more than boost your confidence. You can feel him shifting in his seat uncontrollably, his eyes jumping between the road and studying you. He leans over and grabs your hand to hold in his, thankful to feel your warmth, even if it isn't exactly what he wants. His thumb rubs the back of your hand, reminiscent of the pattern your thumb drew on his thigh earlier.

After a few minutes like this, he realizes it isn't enough. Your bare thigh is right there, peeking out under your skirt, and his memories from the night before recall the soft feel of it against his cheek. Your attention is still focused on the passing houses outside the van and your hand is limp in his. He lets out a whine, and you smirk out the window, not breaking your facade. The van is nearing your house and he's nearing his breaking point. Eddie isn't afraid to beg when he's desperate, and your actions are hurling him toward it.

"Baby, look at me, please," he whines. You heart skips a beat at his voice. Even after hours of listening to him narrate the game, he still has the ability to melt your insides in seconds. Your eyes drift from outside to his figure in the driver's seat. He glances between the road and you with pleading eyes.

"Yes?" You bat your eyelashes innocently. After all, your grazes have barely reached anywhere sinful.

His grip on your hand tightens and his gaze is held longer on you while expertly gliding down the road. His lips part for a moment, but close again when no words come out. He's nearing that begging point, though isn't there just yet. His head turns back to the road with another sigh escaping his lips.

The moment you pull up to your driveway, you leap out of the car, leaving a very needy Eddie to follow behind. His hands slide up your waist while you fiddle with your keys in the lock. He's squeezing your hips, wrapping his arms around your torso, and breathing in your scent at the back of your neck. You arch forward the smallest bit, grinding slightly into him, egging him on just a bit more.

A whine escapes him when the lock finally clicks and you pull away. His eyes follow your ass with each step, and he follows you like a magnet. You saunter into the living room, knowing your one-man audience is locked on your every move. Stripping your shoes and jacket off, you pull your shirt out from being tucked tightly into the waistband of your skirt and lift it just high enough for Eddie to glimpse your skin. Finally, you turn to him, only to quickly look away to your television.

"So, should we watch a movie? Maybe find something on T.V.?" His shoulders drop. You think you've lost him for a moment, but then he's sliding to you in long strides, colliding his hips to yours. His eyes are wide, dark, and filled with lust. He needs your attention. He needs you.

He grabs your chin in his thumb and index finger so gently and lifts it to meet his eyes. "Please..," he begs. His hips pushing further into you so you can feel his need pushing into your lower belly. Your hands remain at your sides, knowing the smallest touch would be giving in too soon.

"What do you need, baby" you all but whisper. Your eyes bore into his, daring him. He grows harder with your eyes on him now, as if your attention in itself owns him. As if the very essence of your being is the gravity holding him here.

"Please touch me." His eyes soften at the words leaving his mouth. The voice that leaves him sounds almost breathless, a huge contrast to earlier at Hellfire. He's breaking and you're eating it up.

"I need more than that, love. You can do better," you assert. While his voice grows softer, your's becomes firmer. The confidence in you is building the more you remember your control over him. Usually Eddie is the boisterous one, with a mouth that never shuts up. Now, he can barely form words, poor baby.

He closes his eyes for a moment, as if willing himself to stay focused. His hips stay pressed to you, unmoving. He knows better than to try anything. His breathing falls heavy on your face, and his grip on your chin has a slight shake to it. He's reached that point, he's at your mercy completely.

"Please... please touch me. I'll do anything, please–" you cut his whines off with an open-mouthed kiss. The begging wasn't nearly as long as you would have liked, but your patience is wearing thin. Your hand grips the hair on the back of his head while the other slides between your bodies to cup his length. A moan hums through him, and you can feel him relax against your touch. You continue to fondle him through his jeans when you break away from the kiss for air. His eyes remain closed and his breathing is labored, practically shaking his frame with every breath.

Much to your disapproval, he bites his lip to keep silent. Your hand immediately stops its stroking, and he lets out a cry. His soft eyes find yours, knowing instantly of his mistake. "Beg," you spit. His eyes are on the verge of tears with how needy he is. He can feel how desperate his cock is with each twitch. You've barely given him a crumb, and he's treated it like a buffet.

"Baby, please, I'm begging you. I need you so badly." His eyes have glossed over, and his knees are weakening. Your hand is still lingering on the front of his crotch, the warmth of your fingers sending jolts through him. "Please touch me, I need to cum, please." His voice is gravelly, and gains strength the more he talks. You raise a brow at him as he starts to babble our pleas, yet your hand continues to remain in the same spot, unmoving.

When a tear finally falls from his lash line and streams down his blushed cheek, both your hands yank down his zipper, freeing him from his jeans and underwear in seconds. His face scrunches at the cold air meeting his heated cock. Another tear breaks free, and your tongue glides along his cheek to lap it up.

His head falls back and moans freely, pleas escaping his lips. You spit on your hand and guide it along his length, squeezing him the way he loves. When you reach his tip, your thumb flicks the underside subtly, and barely glides over his slit. He's in heaven, moving his hands to grip your hips to ground himself. Your hand begins pumping at a quickening pace, the feel of the veins rubbing against your fingertips has your mouth watering. He tries to look down at your hand moving over him but the pleasure is too much, and his eyes keep closing. You mouth at his neck, biting and sucking marks into the soft skin you can reach. The sounds running past his lips has your legs ready to buckle beneath you.

As he nears his orgasm, you speed up your hand. He's a mess of moans and begging. "Don't stop" leaves his lips, over and over like a prayer alongside your name. His eyelids are fluttering and his hips are thrusting forward to collide your hands with his pubic bone. Your hand reaches into his hair, and pulls, hard. It pushes him over and he's jerking against you as he spills against your wrist and arm. You continue stroking him as he rides out the rest of his high. His hand finds your wrist and grips it tightly, when the movement becomes too much.

"Fuck, I love it when you beg."

#idk what came over me #ive never written smut before nevertheless a whole imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #sub!eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #mandi writes #parkermunson

[togrowoldinv]

Peace

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

When you’re listening to music late at night, Natasha asks to listen with you

Note: Okay y’all it’s like almost 2am and I’m listening to Taylor Swift, so this fic is kinda based on that fact. Also, I just think Nat would like Taylor cause she’s the best. It’s some fluff and comfort. Forgive me if it’s not good cause I just wrote it super fast and it’s late haha. I hope you enjoy it!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

“What time is it?” your wife asks you as she sleepily rolls over in bed to look at you. You’re sitting up against the headboard with earphones in listening to music. You take one out to talk to Natasha.

“It’s like two am,” you answer. “Sorry did my music wake you up?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” Nat says.

She sits up and kisses your cheek before resting her head on your shoulder. You kiss her head and she smiles sleepily at your touch.

“What are you listening to?” She asks you.

“Oh, you know the usual,” you say a little shyly.

“So what like Taylor Swift?” She jokes but it’s true and you laugh.

“You know me so well.”

“Let me hear it,” Nat says.

“This is one of my favorites. Don’t be alarmed at how sad it is, okay?” You say and she looks at you warily.

“Okay, detka,” she eventually agrees.

You hand her the other earphone and press play. She listens for a minute before silently reaching for your phone to look at the title of the song.

“Peace?” She asks.

“Peace,” you confirm.

She doesn’t say anything else as she listens to the rest of the song. When it’s over, she looks at you with tears in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” You ask her.

“No, because how did she perfectly explain how it feels to love someone who’s such a good person?” Natasha asks rhetorically.

“I’m not sure. But she nailed it, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, she sure did. Are you okay?” Natasha asks you.

“I’m okay. She does kind of put into words how I feel being with you sometimes though. I mean I’m always feeling that I can’t give you peace,” you admit, looking down at your lap and not at your wife.

“Hey, y/n baby, you give me peace,” she says. You look at her with disbelief. “You really do.”

“I’m such a mess sometimes and I’m scared a lot and anxious and-“

“And I love you. Not despite of all of that, but including all of that. It’s all you. You are my peace, you are my comfort, you are my home. You’re my everything,” Natasha says. Her hand intertwines with yours and she squeezes it three times.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You ask through heartfelt tears.

“I ask myself how I got so lucky to have you every day. The only answer I can come up with is that we were meant to be,” Nat says and you cry a little harder at her kindness.

“I love you so much, Natasha. So incredibly much.”

“Come here,” Nat says as she pulls you into her arms. “I love you too, y/n.”

You bury your face in her neck and she rubs your back softly.

“Hey, I have an idea,” she says.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. Let’s go for a drive and you can show me some more of those Taylor songs. Preferably some less sad ones?”

“Nat it’s late and we have to be up early,” you say.

“Come on. It’ll be fun. Please?” Nat asks and you shift to look at her. She has the cutest smile on her face and you can’t say no to that.

After all, she is doing this for you. She knows how you can’t sleep sometimes and music is the main thing that helps.

“Okay,” you say.

“Yes, okay. You get that playlist ready and I’ll get the car warmed up,” Nat says. She gets out of bed and you smile at her enthusiasm.

“Hey Natasha?” She turns around. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she says.

The two of you get somewhat dressed and get in the car.

“So, what’s first?” Natasha asks.

“This one is called All Too Well,” you say as you turn it on. “Be ready for your life to be changed in the next ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes?” She asks you with a raised eyebrow.

“Ten minutes,” you say seriously.

Natasha smiles at you from the driver’s seat and you feel better already. She is definitely the source of your peace.

Tag List: @gracebutnotgraceful @i-wished-for-you-too @idkwhygregg @romanoffscottage @be-missed @likefirenrain @hehehehannahthings @mythosphere-x @readings-stuff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @milfloverslut @yelenabelovaisthebettersister @mrswidowjohansson @alotofpockets @wandassitcom @ggrangerdanger @marvelwomen-simp @maia-lightwoood @mortallytremendoussandwich @xxromanoffxx @peanutbutterprincess @karmasgxrl @picnicmic @wandaslittlewhore @exhaustedfangirl @when-wolves-howl @natashalovers @marie45019 @inluvwithfictionalwomen @sammi1642 @itsyourgirlmalise @jujuu23 @the-night-owl-blr @blackwidow-3 @strangegardentaco @avatarsnips @romanoffswoman @natashasilverfox @imthenatynat @natasha-danvers @sayah13 @harleysincairo @rach2602 @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @lovelyy-moonlight

#natasha romanoff x reader #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff comfort #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff

[angelst4re]

Hello dear Ash! Firstly I have to say that you are an amazing writer, like TRULY and you're such an amazing and sweet person,so kind and caring 😭❤️ilysm.

And i have a request if you don't mind. Umm so i was thinking of a maybe a demon/devil Jamie who would practically be the one sneaking up to your room at nights, talking to you, making you fall in love with the devil, doing as he says and maybe JUST MAYBE after a while things would get heated🫣and well...yk what happens. I remember seeing you post that the works you wrote were becoming routine and u wanted to spice things up so yeah😌 I'll leave all the details to you because you know what to do. LY & THANK YOU🖤🖤🥹

hello lovely!! ahh you're so sweet :') thank you so much!! i'm sobbing, that actually means so much to me, bless you <33

Dance With the Devil - Devil/Demon!Jamie x Reader

summary: in the request :)

warnings: NSFW!! contains smut!! if you're uncomfortable then please don't read, my love <3

notes: i saw this request come through last night and because i couldn't sleep i started writing... at 2am??!! so i apologise if it's quite wild...

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You sat up in your bed, reading a chapter of a book you picked up at the library, watching the time, waiting for the clock to strike 12am. Waiting for him.

For the last 2 months you had noticed something in your life felt… different. You felt like you were being watched, you felt like you were being followed. In situations like this, you should probably feel scared, even worried, but you felt a kind of safety when he was around. He wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

You would wake up in the mornings to find your bedroom windows were slightly opened, sometimes your curtains would also be open, giving him a clear view of you whilst you slept.

You thought for a while about what to do, and by the end of the week you had a plan. You would stay awake and catch him!

You returned home from work and carried out your usual routine, knowing he was about and most likely kept a close eye on you. You ate dinner, took a shower and got ready for bed, but whilst you lied under the covers, you didn’t allow yourself to drift into sleep. You had to stay awake, you had to meet him.

For hours the only sound that filled your room was the ticking of your clock, until you hear a tap on the window. Did he know you were still awake? You didn’t move, you barely even flinched as your window was opened from the outside and he stepped inside.

You rolled over in your bed to face the window, to face him, but you kept your eyes shut.

“I know you’re awake, sweetheart.” He spoke.

You expected him to have a deep, gravelly voice, like one that should belong in a horror movie. But his voice was sweet and gentle.

Not only did he voice surprise you, but his appearance also came as a shock. You were met with black boots, the tops of them covered by fitted black trousers. He wore a black suit jacket, covering a half-buttoned-up white shirt, revealing the edges of two chest tattoos. Even in the darkness of your room you could tell his hair was dirty blonde, and the length came just past his jaw. His eyes were a shade of blue you could only describe as heavenly.

“Hello.” You whispered as you made eye contact with him.

“Hello,” he replied with a slight chuckle, “you waited for me?”

“I wanted to know who was leaving my windows open in the middle of winter,” you explained, sitting up in your bed and signalling for him to sit down with you, “who are you?”

He smirked before replying,

“Darling, I’m the Devil.”

For weeks he would visit you, sometimes you would stay up and wait for him, other times you would have fallen asleep before he arrived.

You would speak for hours, until the sun rose and he had to leave. You speak about your day, your work, but you would also talk about power, how the world’s leaders were corrupt, and he would tell you his plans to change the world. And he wanted you by his side.

You became obsessed with him, you would do anything he would ask you. You would sit and wait for him every night, regardless of other plans, whether you were tired or not, you would wait for him.

You had never been in love before, you had never dated, you have never even kissed anyone before. At school you only had two, maybe three, friends who you had lost over the years. You interacted with other people at work, but you wished you didn’t have to. You only wanted him.

You wanted to be with him all the time, but he would only appear after the sun set. You check on your phone to see when the sun would set each day, you would then rush home and wait.

You looked back up at your clock and saw it was finally time. He was on his way.

*tap tap*

*tap tap tap*

You pushed back the blankets on your bed and stumbled over to the window, opening it wide for him.

You needed to see him today, you had a shitty day and you needed someone to talk to about it, and you knew he would sit and listen.

“Hello, angel.” He smiled once he was inside.

“Hello, sir.”

He examined your face, noticing something was different. You were sad?

He placed his finger under your chin and made you look up at him. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” He asked

“Oh, Jamie.” You sighed, sitting back down on your bed, “I’ve had a terrible day.”

“What happened?” He asked, following you and sitting beside you.

“I think I’m going to lose my job, my boss wants to talk to me tomorrow and I know business hasn’t been doing too well these last few weeks so-“

“Shhh,” he calmed you as you began to get overwhelmed, “sweetheart, you know that’s irrelevant, you shouldn’t have to worry about something like that. When I get my way, you and I are going to be the king and queen of this pathetic world, we’re going to be Gods to these people, and you won’t have to work another day in your life.”

You nod your head, sniffling as he wiped away the tears beneath your eyes with his thumb. You looked up at him and noticed he was looking at your lips, and you suddenly felt a bit insecure, and he seemed to notice.

“Have you ever kissed anybody, darling?”

You shook your head.

A smirk grew on his pretty lips, he knew you hadn’t kissed anyone before, he knew you were pure. You were untainted. You were perfect.

He leaned in towards you, placing his hand on your cheek as his lips pressed against yours in a perfect, gentle kiss. You felt a white hot heat consume your entire body, filling you with a desire, a want. You wanted him.

As he began to pull away, you crashed your lips back into his, wrapping your arms around his neck to stop him from moving.

You weren’t sure what to do, how to kiss, but as you kissed him you felt him take over. He placed his hands on your waist, pulling you on to his lap without breaking the kiss.

“Would you do anything for me?” He asked against your lips before he began to kiss along your jaw.

“Yes, of course!”

“Then get down on your knees, darling.”

You did exactly as he asked with no hesitation, you shuffled about on his lap so you could stand, before falling to your knees in front of him, between his legs.

You could see a bulge, a hardness in his trousers, which he was working to free. As he unbuttoned his trousers and pulled down his boxers, his cock sprung up, slapping against his clothed stomach.

It was big, you were sure it was much bigger than average. There was a vein on the underside which caused you to lick your lips. The tip was red and leaking, you were sure it must have been painful.

“What do I do?” You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“You can use your hand, or your mouth. I want you to show me how much you love me, show me how you would give yourself to me, show me how you worship the devil. Can you do that for me, angel?”

“Yes,” you were basically panting, your mouth watering at the sight of his cock, “I’ll show you, sir.”

“That’s my good girl.” He smiled, running his fingers through your hair as you kissed the vein on the underside of his cock.

You weren’t sure what to do, and you felt a little bit embarrassed as you took him into your hand and began pumping him, your thumb ghosting over the tip with each pump.

An almost growl escaped his throat as you continued this action. You wanted to use your mouth like he said, but you were unsure how. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.

“Wrap your lips around it, sweetheart, take it down your pretty little throat.” He groaned, his head thrown back as his hand grabs your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail.

You do as he says, and you just about manage to fit him in your mouth. He lets out another moan as he feels the wet warmth of your mouth.

“That’s it, just like that, sweet girl.”

You try to take as much of him as you can, but as he hit the back of your throat, your gag reflex kicked in.

“Shhh, it’s okay. You can take a little more, cant you, angel? Hm?”

You nod your head and try again, and you manage to take another inch this time. He praises you, he tells you how well you’re doing for him, how he’s proud of you, and then you feel his cock twitch in your throat.

“Mm, fuck. You can stop now, darling. Let’s do something else.”

He takes your hands, which were placed on his thighs, and he helps you up before pushing you down onto your bed, your head against the pillows. You barely had time to register what was going on before his lips crashed against yours again.

You felt as his left hand began to slide down your body, it was placed on your waist with a tight grip before it began to slide down, down to the place where you ached to be touched.

His hand was placed flat on your clothed cunt, he watched you with excited eyes as you bucked your hips up, searching for some friction, anything to bring you pleasure.

Your eyes met his as he slipped his fingers beneath the material of your underwear, you were quite glad you only wore a baggy t-shirt to bed tonight, and you were sure he was also grateful.

“You’re soaked, sweetie,” he whispered, pulling away from the kiss briefly, “you really want to go further? You really want me?

“Yes, sir. I do, please!” You whined, your fingers tangling in his blonde locks as you pulled him back in for a kiss.

His thumb teased your clit gently as his finger slowly dipped into your hole, stretching you out for the first time.

“Stop teasing,” you groaned, “I can take it, I can take you.”

“I don’t want to hurt my pretty darling, though.” His voice was soft, but you could also sense a hint of teasing in the way he spoke.

“Maybe I want you to hurt me.” You whispered.

Suddenly, it was like a switch was flipped. He tore the t-shirt from your body, discarding it on the floor as he tore your underwear next, leaving you completely bare underneath him.

“You’re… beautiful.” He told you, running a hand over your breasts which were now exposed to him as you hadn’t put a bra on after your shower. “I never thought anything could be so perfect.”

His lips were back on yours within seconds and you could feel the soft head of his cock rubbing against you, and it sent shivers down your spine. It felt truly delicious.

As he began to push himself inside of you, you felt an intense stinging, it burnt like hell. You tried not to clench around him, but you couldn’t help it, everything felt so intense.

You bit down on his shoulder as the final inches slid into you, you felt so full. You never thought a feeling like this could exist. It was perfect.

As he began to move, you let out a pained gasp, to which he smirked at and continued to thrust.

He placed one hand on your waist, holding you in place as he fucked into you, and the other was beside you on your mattress, holding himself up. He looked down at the expression on your face, one he could only describe as angelic. Your lips slightly parted, your eyes squeezed shut, he knew you were starting to feel the pleasure by now.

Your pussy clenched around his cock, causing him to twitch inside of you. He wanted this moment to last longer, but he knew you would both come undone soon. You were a virgin, you felt so tight and warm around him, it was impossible to hold on any longer.

“Darling,” he panted, “are you… ready?”

“I am, I’m ready, sir.”

“Good girl, let go for me, cum for me, angel, can you do that? Cum for the devil.”

“Yes.” You whimpered, before your body was overtaken by a stronger force, something so unexplainable, you could only describe it as bliss.

“My sweet girl,” you heard him say as your vision began to blur and black spots filled your sight, “you were always so perfect.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When your senses came back and you finally awoke, you realised you were not in your bedroom. You were not even in your home. You were somewhere else.

You looked down to see you were wearing a cream silk nightgown, and you were lying on a big white bed. Everything looked so expensive, so fancy, like it was fit for a queen.

“Ah, you’re awake!” You heard him say, a smile spreading across his face as he stood by the bottom of the bed.

“Jamie? Where am I?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he tutted, “you’re home.”

#jamie campbell bower smut #jamie campbell bower #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie bower smut #jamie bower #jamie bower x reader #jcb #devil!jamie #demon!jamie

[thelustdevil]

Daddy Issues | H.S.

Pairing: Hitoshi x Reader

Warnings: Explicit content, shower sex, semi-public sex, fingering, implied/referenced abuse, I made Denks the asshole sorry!!, angst, depression, general sad/upset vibes, situational sex, coping sex.

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: After a bad ending between you and Denki, old wounds reopen. When it happens Hitoshi is there to help, in any way he can.

Notes: Something smaller i wrote while listening to the remix of Daddy Issues. Def not healthy relationship dynamics tbf. Please mind the tags and read with caution. I don’t fully dive into the abuse and stuff but it’s still present. Let me know if I missed anything.

•••

I should get out.

“You should get out” A quiet deep voice spoke over the sound of the shower. He managed to speak softly somehow. Or maybe that’s how you’ve come to hear his voice. Soft, deep, warm, and loving.

Even now.

“What are you doing in here?” You grumble, unmoving from your seated position on the shower floor. The ice cold water was hell on your back, but at least you felt something. “This is the girl’s side, you know that.”

“I had a feeling... You’ve been off all week.” He pauses, you hear shuffling before he continues. “When I checked your room and you weren’t there, I figured you’d be here.”

You hum in response. There’s nothing to say. Hitoshi lets the silence continue so long you begin to think he’s left.

“You’ve been distant.” The hint of confusion in his voice pisses you off for some reason.

“Yeah a breakup will do that to you, Shinsou.” You’re being mean and you know it, but hey it’s in theme with the 2am freezing shower.

He sighs, “Come on, F/N, I’m worried.”

You don’t respond. You can’t. What could you even say? The ability to form complex sentences left when the numbness set in. You settle on turning your body and leaning against the wall, your back turned towards him, uncaring of what he sees. Being naked around each other was nothing new.

It’s quiet for even longer this time. Until a shocked gasp leaves your mouth, as you feel Hitoshi wrap his arms around you. His shirt sticks to you and the feeling of wet cloth lays across your back. He buries his head into your bare shoulder, saying nothing.

“Am I no better than Her?” The words leave your mouth without a second thought. “Am I just as stupid.” You fill the last word with as much venom as you can muster. Dragging up all the nasty feelings from the past few weeks and even the ones presentbefore Denki dropped you.

“You know that’s not fair to do to yourself. Don’t even think for a second you’re in the same vein as your mother.” He breathes deeply, tightening his arms slightly. “She stayed, you left. You saved yourself from the same mistakes.”

“When did you get good at this? You used to just stare at me whenever I cried.” You chuckle dryly. Leaning your head against his, you take a deep breath. “Thank you… I’m sorry. For everything.”

It’s his turn to chuckle as he lifts his head, angling to meet your eyes. You want to look away but he places his hand on your cheek. “You’re welcome, and I accept your apology. I know things were hard and confusing but I’m glad you made it out of there.”

Your heart aches and it takes everything in you not to collapse right there. Hitoshi was being so kind and you were so sure you didn’t deserve it. He always had room in his life for you ever since you were young kids. As your childhood best friend he had seen almost everything in your life. The good, bad, and the ugly. Like your family. Your parents. If you could call them that, then again you were feeling hauntingly similar to your mo-

“Stop that.” As if he could read your mind he brought you back to the present, forcing you to look at him again. This time moving both of your bodies so your legs were across him, his arm supporting you while the other held it’s position on your cheek. “Focus on me.”

How could you not? His movement had made you aware of the close proximity, you could see the drops of water make their way down his hair before rolling down his face slowly. You reached up and brushed a finger against one of the drops, your eyes never leaving his purple deep ones. He exhales softly, pulling your attention to his mouth, his lips.They were barely parted and all you could think of doing was slotting your own against them. You glace back to his eyes, asking him silently.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Hitoshi asks quietly, “I don’t want to do this if you aren’t fully here, Y/N.”

You smile softly as you look at him. “Yes. Please, Hitoshi.” A pause. “As long as you’re okay with it too… And what it could lead to.” You want to be honest, as honest as possible.

“You know I would do anything for you. I want to do this… I promise.” His gaze is steady, he gives you a reassuring smile.

That’s all you need before your lips are on his, your hands in his hair. One of his hands trails up and down your back while the other traces lines from your hip down the outside of your thigh. He holds you and touches you as if committing everything to memory. You do the same.

As you alternate between pulling and running your hands through his hair, he grips your thigh tightly, pulling slightly before letting go. A small noise rips itself from your throat as your tilt your head back. His mouth immediately dips to kiss at the base of your neck and slowly travel upwards. Farther up he trails kisses, following your jawline to your ear. He gently bites the lobe and you lean into it. The feeling of his lips sending shivers down your back.

You pull his face back to yours and kiss him as deeply as you can. He gladly welcomes you in, and explores your own mouth with his tongue. Vying for a little payback, you pull back and bite his lip, hard.

A groan leaves him as his hips buck up slightly. You smile and giggle softly. “I knew you’d be into that shit.” He rolls his eyes and leans back in, capturing you in a slow languid kiss. It sweeps you up and you get lost in it. You can feel Hitoshi trace his hand up and across your thigh, moving between them to cup the heat in the middle. You moan into his mouth as he drags his middle finger through your slit, pausing to rub a few small circles on your clit.

Your head lolls backwards onto his bicep and he takes the opportunity to lean you farther back, letting his mouth gain access to your chest. He circles a nipple with his tongue, ocassionally pulling it into his mouth. All that stumbles from your mouth are hushed whispers of his name as his hands and mouth continue to mold and play with your body.

He slowly slips a finger inside of you, pumping lazily, pulling back from your chest to watch what he does to you. His eyes are trained on your face, watching the way your mouth drops open as his pace increases. Hitoshi slips another finger in, your eyes open and lock with his. You look so needy, so open. He pushes his mouth onto yours to keep from groaning too loudly.

His thumb finds it way to your clit and you can feel the coil tighten inside. You grip his hair tightly as you make out with him, grinding down into his hand, chasing the sweet release. At once you’re reminding of his erection when it pushes against your spread leg. You move to palm it but he stops you.

“This is for you, we’ll have time for that later.” In an instant he’s back at your mouth and you’re that much closer to being a complete mess.

Hitoshi continues his minstrations, letting his mouth wander along your upper body as his hand works your core. He has three fingers inside of you and it’s taking all of you not to hop onto his cock this very second. Your fantasies of riding him quickly help in tipping you over the edge. Hitoshi continues faster and pulls you closer to him as you orgasm.

“Look at me.”

Your eyes snap open, he doesnt even need to control you. You’re already mesmerized. All you can do is stare into his gaze as your mouth drops open and your body revels in the sweet feeling washing over you. He let’s you continue to ride it out until you’re spent.

Once your breathing has evened out, he gently helps you stand up and turns the water to a warmer setting. He steps out of his soaked clothing and tosses it somewhere out of the shower.

You have to look down- goddamn. He’s got a gamer dick. You can’t help but stare. He chuckles, finally noticing your facial expression.

“Trust me, shower sex isn’t it. We need to clean you up and get you into bed. You’re practically swaying on your feet.” As soon as he says it, the exhaustion hits you. You nod your head and allow yourself to guided under the warm water. Hitoshi makes quick, but gentle, work of cleaning you up. Once your done, you both step out of the shower.

Grabbing a towel from the spares the girls have stored in here you hand one to Hitoshi before grabbing one for yourself. You pause as you wrap yourself up, “What now?”

He glances at you with a raised brow, “What? We go to bed.”

“You’re staying?” You sound shocked.

“Unless you don’t want me to, then yes.” He crosses his arms. “I’m not just gonna do that then dip, F/N.”

You nod slowly, “Right, right. We should talk about that at some point though…” The anxiety and weight of what you just did hits you. Did you fuck up?

“We will. Tomorrow, you need to sleep and I want to make sure you’re okay.” He places a guiding hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry about all of this right now okay? No matter what I’ll be here. Now let[‘s go.”

Once you make your way to your dorm room and get dressed. You toss his wet clothes and your dirty ones in the hamper and crawl into bed. Hitoshi is right behind you, slinging one arm over your waist and tugging you close.

Before sleep takes you, you thank him one last time. His reply is a soft kiss, brushing against your shoulder blade.

•••

That’s the end of another short story! Let me know what you thought. Send an ask if you’d like to be on the tag list!

Tave🤍

#hitoshi shinso imagine #smut #angst #fluff #denki kaminari #Hitoshi shinso #hitoshi shinso x reader #Hitoshi shinso smut #shower smut #Hitoshi shinso one shot #mha #my hero #bnha #mha hitoshi #mha x reader #the lust devil

[leilaxwhite]

𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙨

this is a list of the fanfics that i recomend to you along with their synopsis! they are all categorized so you can look for them easier!

*i did not write any of these fics, all the credits go to the owners who wrote them. they are tagged next to their work.*

* smut

𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙬 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙮 / 𝙧𝙖𝙛𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙣

late night rehearsal @r66dus *

synopsis: can u do a drew starkey x reader SMUT! where y/n goes to drew’s house to rehearse an obx script, then things get heated..

“i don’t care if he’s Brazilian babe” @starkeysbaby

synopsis: at a sleepover with kie and sarah, they convince you to tease your jealous and overprotective boyfriend...

sex tape || camboy!rc @rafescokewhore *

synopsis: basically in the title rafe and reader make a sex tape

blue eyes + bruises @illicitfixations (series)

synopsis: tragic car accident leaves you thinking you'll never find love. But, with your care in the magic hands of resident orthopedic surgeon, Rafe Cameron, you learn a thing or two about love and sadness and how they intertwine perfectly.

quiet, baby. @rafesangel *

synopsis: you get a bit to loud while Ward’s in the room next to you and Rafe.

𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙣 𝙝𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙚𝙨

sweet girl / take a break @theicearchives

synopsis: in which quinn gets you to take a break.

returning home @brandonduhaimes

synopsis: After a long roadie Quinn is back home only to find a very stressed significant other.

doin’ you right * @hischierdevils

synopsis: y/n overhears Quinn having a conversation and gets a little hot and bothered

hockey jersey * @hockeybabe

synopsis: You and Quinn can’t exactly get along until you show up at a game of his wearing his jersey.

𝙡𝙪𝙠𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙚𝙨

the (infamous) hughes brothers sleepovers: luke hughes @theicearchives

synopsis: in which the hughes brothers have a sleepover! (y/n x luke hughes)

boot @h34rtsfr0m3

synopsis: prompt #1 "You're so cute." "what did you say?" "I said you look like a boot."

they definitely heard us * @greazyfloz

synopsis: Smut: 5. "Shh baby, we have to be quiet", 12. "I'm so horny right now" "it's 3 in the morning, go to sleep" "please", & 13. "They wont hear anything" w/ Luke Hughes

man child @h34rtsfr0m3

synopsis: luke being lovey dovey with reader and a man child lol

𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙚𝙨

pillow hog @bordysbae

synopsis: 6. "i want attention", 7. "quit stealing all the pillows!", and 9. "why are your feet so cold?" with Jack Hughes? Maybe the reader is trying to sleep but Jack just wants attention

i cant sleep @ifimdreaming

synopsis: wakes you up at 2am becasue he cant sleep an wants mcdonalds lol

stay the night @eyesthatroll

synopsis: loosely based of of this prompt: "one character thinks their relationship is a fling, the other thinks its destiny" but not really because i kind of strayed away from that completely.

take me * @heypeople2

synopsis: in which y/n helps jack forget the loss

winner * @hughesyluvr

synopsis: Jack Hughes smut where the reader surprise Jack on game 7 of the playoff and at the end they did celebratory sex while almost getting caught by Jack family

𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙤𝙬

i want dada @jackharloww

synopsis: The one where Grace wakes Jack up for cuddles

#lei’s life #fic recs #<3

[roseastralis]

washing waves

clotted cream x mermaid reader ; 2,148 words

➹ genre ; fluff, slight angst ♡︎ romance, confessions ♡︎

➹ info ; clotted cream cookie x gn!mermaid!reader, 'you' pronouns used.

➹ warnings ; english is not my first language, not fully proofread, wrote this fic at like 2am.

➹ author's note ; my first fic post in my new writing blog! i hope everyone who reads this enjoys. likes & rblgs/any kind of support is highly appreciated !

➹ masterlist

➹ SUMMARY !

A surprise meeting with Clotted Cream Cookie by the shores changed your life. But one day, he suddenly stopped visiting you—and you were heartbroken. You never expected him to come back and confess his feelings to you though.

➹ full story under the cut ♡︎

You were a cookie, a special one at that. You were a mermaid, who swam the deep ocean’s depths and sang graceful tunes out in the open. You were one of a kind. But you have always wanted for your one true wish to come true.

You wanted to walk, you wanted to have legs. You wanted to walk around the Creme Republic and speak to the locals. But unfortunately for you, it was impossible for your wish to come true—no matter what you do, no matter what you did. But alas, you were so desperate. You would do anything just to have the ability to walk, at least for one day. You wanted to meet new people, you wanted to socialize more, you wanted to see the council of elders who ruled the Creme Republic together. And of course, you wanted to see the newly appointed Consul of Creme Republic—Consul Clotted Cream Cookie.

The only cookie friend you have as of now was Oyster Cookie, the head of House Oyster and an elder of the Creme Republic. She would visit you sometimes, updating you and filling you in with everything about what was happening in Creme Republic. Both of you were considerably close, the two of you enjoying each other’s company. Most times, you help her as well when it comes to information about the sea. As her sphere of influence is maritime trade, you help her with strat planning.

“Oyster Cookie, how good of a Consul do you think Clotted Cream Cookie is? I am very curious about him. Sometimes, I hear locals near the beach speak about him! I’m dying to know.” You say with excitement, a glimmer shown in your eyes.

“Well my dear, we do not know yet. After all, he just got appointed as one. But I guess I could say that he is a very responsible and brilliant young man. I assure you he does know what he’s doing.”

“I see… How I wish I could see him in person. I’ve only seen him in the newspapers so far.” You mumble with a saddened expression.

—

Humming a beautiful lullaby out in the open shores at night, you close your eyes and let the sea breeze get to you. The stars at night shone brightly, the moon staring intently. The night was calm, and that was the only time where you could actually get out of the water as there was no one around. Your eyes were closed, still humming a tune. Not until your cautious ears caught a sound of footsteps in the sand behind you.

Turning your head around, you locked eyes with Clotted Cream Cookie himself. The rumors about him weren’t wrong, and seeing him in real life was much more pleasing than seeing him in the newspapers. You let out a small gasp in surprise and decided to submerge back down in the shallow waters out of embarrassment. 

“P-please come out, I will not harm you.” Clotted Cream says, stepping forward a bit.

“Well of course you wouldn’t hurt me” You think, trying to get a peek of him from behind the rock you were hiding.

“I apologize if I startled you, I-I did not mean any of it.” He sighs, and takes a deep breath. “I was just walking at this hour, until I heard a voice. So please forgive me, I was just curious and wanted to know whoever was singing.” Clotted Cream sighs again, a hint of sadness evident in his tone. He was already standing by the shore, shoes almost wet because of the waves washing onto them.

Deciding to come out of your hiding place and show yourself, you submerged into the waters again, swimming until you reached the shore where he was standing awaiting you. 

You popped up from the water, startling and surprising Clotted Cream Cookie just a bit. He smiled and chuckled, his cheeks burning when he realized both of your faces are close to each other. Realizing this as well, you pulled your face back a bit.

“Ah, interesting. So you’re the mermaid Oyster Cookie was talking about. She talks about you a lot, did you know?” He smirked, arms crossed.

“She talks about me? I’m really glad then… She talks about you alot as well. I’ve heard a lot of interesting things about you and seeing you in person really surprises me… I really never thought I would actually meet the consul face to face.” You ramble, a big visible smile plastered on your face.

Oh yes, Clotted Cream Cookie was listening to you rambling, but he was also focused on you. The way the moon’s light shone upon your form, making you much more attractive than you were. Your skin was glowing, eyes shining with delight as you continued to smile with warmth.

“Oh, I deeply apologize Consul Clotted Cream! It’s already late at night, you must be sleepy already. Please get some rest, I’m sure you’ll be busy tomorrow. Again, I’m sorry for keeping you up.” You say to him, guilty at your actions.

“Please do not be sorry, I have enjoyed my time with you, and I am glad that I got to speak to someone new today. But you are right, it is quite late already. I shall get some rest now, please get some rest as well.”

“Of course, Consul. I’m equally glad that I got to speak to you as well.”

Clotted Cream smiled, and waved goodbye. He turned around and started to leave, but he paused a few steps later.

“Oh, I forgot to say this, but please expect a few more visits from me as well. Perhaps tomorrow, I shall come again if I have some spare time.” He smiled, finally waving goodbye. With that, he walked away and disappeared—leaving you on the shore, squealing inside.

—

And with that, Clotted Cream Cookie visited you at times. He would usually visit you during night time at the exact same spot where the two of you met for the first time. You were surprised that he actually went his way and spent some of his spare time with you despite being a very busy man. He would tell you all about what was happening in the Creme Republic, and sometimes you both shared small bits of your personal lives. Safe to say, he enjoyed your company, and you did as well.

You both accompanied each other every night for months, until one day—he suddenly stopped visiting you. You haven’t seen him in months. You were saddened and disappointed, because you thought you finally had a friend who you could talk to regularly besides Oyster Cookie. You kept telling yourself that he was probably busy, and you thought you were selfish because of that.

“I don’t know Miss Oyster Cookie, he suddenly stopped—visiting me. I thought that maybe he was just busy being the consul and all, but do you think he forgot about me?” You tell Oyster Cookie, a few tears dripping on your face.

“Before I say anything else…” Oyster Cookie paused, and you turned around to look at her. “Do you love him?” She questions, but it sounded more like a statement.

Your eyes widened at her question, a small sob coming out of your mouth. Yes indeed you did, you loved him. The way he stood out, the way he talks to you and listens to you ramble about a lot of things? You loved him, and you loved everything about him. You looked at the water beneath you, as your tears joined in with the starting rain.

“I do, Oyster Cookie. I do love him, and I can’t deny the fact that I do.” You say, more tears streaming down your face. It hurts, because you think that he doesn’t love you back, and that he never will return your feelings. Oyster Cookie was there, rubbing your head as you just cried there, the rain getting heavier.

—

It was another day, a week after your talk with Oyster Cookie. It was raining heavily, and the moon and stars were covered by the gray clouds. You just sat by the shore, humming a tune and enjoying the sea breeze once again. Clotted Cream Cookie was on your mind once more, but you tried to push him away from your thoughts. You wanted nothing to do with him, and you tried your best to not think about him any longer. But you couldn’t, the young consul kept appearing on your mind every single day.

You heard footsteps coming from behind, and it seemed like running.

“Good evening, Oyster… C-clotted Cream..?” Your eyes widened, seeing Clotted Cream Cookie’s tired form. He was gasping for air, holding an umbrella to prevent the rain from reaching him.

“Clotted Cream! What happened, you seem tired. Please settle down! Why are you here anyway?” You exclaim, worry from your voice, and confusion as to why he was visiting you on this day.

“I wanted… to talk to you and apologize. Please hear me out.” Clotted Cream says in a nervous tone. Bowing to you.

“Go ahead… I’ll listen.” You say, lending an ear to him, hands on your lap waiting patiently on what he’ll say.

“First and foremost, I apologize my dear. I-I didn’t talk to you, and I did not even visit you anymore, I just stopped all contact with you without a word and I apologize. It was the wrong thing to do.” Clotted Cream tells you with a low, breathy voice. 

“But why did you suddenly stop? I don’t understand. If you wanted to stop talking to me, you should have told me beforehand…” You answer back with a wobbly voice, trying to prevent the tears from flowing out.

“Because I… didn't want to have these feelings.” He said shyly, dropping his umbrella. The raindrops stopped falling from the sky, and the clouds gave space so that the moon's light would be able to shine throughout the sea.

When that slipped out from his mouth, you covered your own and submerged down the water to hide yourself and your flushed face. But wait, what did he mean that… he didn't want to have feelings? You emerged back from the water and moved closer to him, just like your first meeting. Clotted Cream took this chance and crashed his lips down to yours, cupping your face with his hands. Your hand reached his hair as your other hand caressed his face. He was the first one to break the kiss after a few moments, a string of saliva in-between your lips and his. He chuckled as he brought you into a hug, his face resting at the crook of your neck. Your breathing was heavy, and so was his. He trailed kisses up your neck to your ear, and whispered.

“Y/N Cookie, I love you.” Clotted Cream trailed kisses until he reached your forehead, and gave it a quick peck.

“The truth was, I was scared. I was scared when I finally realized I started to grow feelings for you.” He sighed, tightening his hold on your waist. He didn’t want to let you go at this moment, he needed to let you know how much love he has for you. He adored you, and he was scared to lose you.

“I thought that maybe—you wouldn’t return my feelings for you. A half of myself believed that we both felt a mutual understanding. In addition, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you any longer. Y/N Cookie, I’m the Consul. I’m a busy person, and I only have a little time to spare. I always visit you during my spare time, because you are important to me. But I did the wrong thing and stopped talking to you completely because I was too scared. I’m sorry my love, please forgive me.” 

You felt Clotted Cream’s tears falling against your shoulder. He was absolutely guilty, and was visibly sorry for his actions. You placed your hands at the back of his neck, giving him a warm kiss on his forehead.

“I love you, Clotted Cream Cookie. I forgive you, and I am willing to do anything if I get to be with you for the rest of my life.” You lifted his head with a finger on his chin, and he brought you into another kiss. He placed a hand on your waist, his other hand cupping your cheek. With your hands still placed on the back of his neck, you both got lost in each other’s touch. You both didn’t care about the problems both of you might face, because you both know that you’ll deal with everything together through and through. You love each other, and the both of you are willing to do anything to be able to be with each other for eternity.

➹ likes and rblgs appreciated !!

#🍰rose.crk♡︎ #🥀rose.writing♡︎ #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #crk fanfic #crk #cr kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run x reader #cookie run kingdom fluff #cookie run kingdom angst #cookie run kingdom x reader #clotted cream cookie fluff #clotted cream cookie angst #clotted cream cookie x reader #clotted cream cookie #clotted cream

[svnflower-writes]

masterlist

₊˚⊹♡ all right, people, let's start at the beginning one last time. my name is lucy and this is my writing account! ✩°｡⋆

➵ my main is @svnflowermoon and if you want to be friends please message me there, as this is a secondary blog and i can't follow back :)

➵ i am a 16 year old lesbian and i use they/she pronouns <3 i would love if I could make writing my job but architecture is my second choice :)

➵ i take requests! i can do either canon x canon or canon x reader but i tend not to do canon x reader unless it's specifically requested :) <3 here's a list of what fandoms i currently write for:

marauders era

stranger things

the hunger games

fear street

marvel cinematic universe

grishaverse

osemanverse

anne with an e

spiderverse

+ send an ask and ask if i write for a specific fandom, I likely forgot something!

➵ if i may say so myself, i think that i can write the most heartwrenching angst and therefore all of my WIPS are very sad bc that's what i specialise in :)

➵ basically i write all kinds of one shots and snippets of my WIPS here, i post my canon x canon one shots on ao3, and i post my books with my ocs in them on wattpad (i actually hate wattpad but oh well)

➵ visit the #2am wolfstar fics tag to see my.... wolfstar fics i wrote at 2am

current WIPS

➵ love is not enough – gay royalty with some mistaken identity and a lot of angst. original story - will probably not be posted anywhere

➵ next christmas - lesbians. lots of lesbians. also lots of tears <3 original story - will probably not be posted anywhere

➵ hell is a teenage girl - also lesbians. hunger games fanfic about my oc who is finnick's younger sister <3 fanfic - will be posted at some point

➵ mad woman - sequel to hell is a teenage girl but can be read as a standalone, you just wouldn't have as much background info about my oc :) - will be posted after i finish posting hiatg

➵ and more - that I'm not really focusing on rn, the ones above are my main focus :)

#luc posts #luc writes #writeblr #writing #marauders era #heartstopper #stranger things #marvel #fear street #writers on tumblr #spiderverse #2am wolfstar fics #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #sirius black x remus lupin #remus x sirius

[phireads]

Why the Ending of Jane Eyre is Perfect

Quick disclaimer: I am not a qualified academic (which will become increasingly evident if you decide to read this) and I also wrote this at 2AM, meaning there likely will be a lot of errors. I am also aware that parts of this are simply restating facts or well-known analysis of the novel but I feel they help to bridge my thoughts together. I’d love to hear anyone else’s opinions on the ending, or on what I’ve written, just please be kind and respectful.

I often see people talking about how Jane gives up all her freedom to be with Edward, how she’s chained to an unworthy manipulator for the rest of her life. And look, I understand this take.

If Jane had married Mr Rochester the first time around - whether Bertha had existed or not - she would be a victim. She would have very little power in her marriage (though she did foresee this issue when she wrote to her uncle in Madeira) and there wouldn’t be much she could do to rectify her situation. Rochester was her superior in age and in status. She had no connections and it would have been extremely easy for him to cut her off from the world and make her into his pretty housewife (if he so wanted to).

Had the book ended on a successful first wedding, it would be a tragedy. A loss of freedom and a loss of Jane herself. But it doesn’t. That’s why the second part of the book is so compelling because whilst the mystery and romance of Jane’s time at Thornfield is captivating, Jane becomes the heroine we love when she’s free and freezing on the moors.

After these trials, Jane is elevated, in both the world and in her opinion of herself. She is a little older, has family and connections and she has experienced the favour of another man. She found herself in a position of total desperation and has emerged all the better for it. She is not deeply happy while she’s with the Rivers, but she is independent.

She recognises that she is not only “made for labour” as St John attests. But nor is she only a vessel for Rochester’s passion either. She is completely capable of making her own choices concerning her future. Had she chosen to marry St John and travel with him to India, she would have been sacrificing her freedom in another way, and her heart in favour of duty. Instead, she chooses a love which will flourish on her terms, not those of a husband and captor. She decides that she deserves a great love story. Her faith is of the utmost importance to her, but she must also place belief in her own desires.

Mr Rochester absolutely was unworthy of her. I say “was” because by, the end of the novel, I would argue that he is as much changed as Jane. He has lost his reputation, much of his fortune, and a great deal of his physical ability. He has had to learn what it’s like to be forsaken by all those around him - as Jane was in her childhood. He has also lost his greatest purpose, Bertha.

Now, I hear you say “but Phi, Rochester hated Bertha!” and you are correct however…

Bertha had become such an intrinsic part of Edward Rochester’s life over their fifteen years of marriage. He sees her as his burden but also as an outlet for blame. He needs Bertha because then he never has to take accountability. While Bertha lives, each of Rochester’s actions can, arguably, be rationalised by her existence.

I regularly hear people talk about how both Bertha and Jane are reduced to being “just wives”. However, whilst I like to believe that Mr Rochester tries to save Bertha from the fire because he finally sees the humanity in her, I think part of the reason he goes up there, to the roof and to near certain death, is because he doesn’t know what he will be if not the tortured husband of Bertha Antonietta Mason. No, his marriage is not a public one but we see how it consumes him. In Edward’s mind, his marriage absolves him of his moral duty to his god and to his fellow man.

Bertha’s death is not just a convenient plot device which allows Jane to return to Mr Rochester without compromising her values. As heartbroken as it makes me, Bertha must die.

Mr Rochester must be able to let her go entirely, along with all the excuses her life and dependency gives him, for him to truly address his faults and finally be deserving of Jane.

How we know definitively that he has changed, though, is because he isolates himself once more. He reduces his staff. He lives a solitary existence. He does not try to better his circumstances nor does he try to travel to Europe in search of his former comforts. He is not the man he once was.

He is ashamed, rightfully of his actions, wrongfully of his disabilities. He is miserable without Jane.

He has nothing, he even admits that he believed Jane to be dead.

Yet still, he lives. I think he stays alive because he’s trying to find, within himself, the faith which Jane encouraged him to seek when they parted. If Jane is dead, as he thinks, he must honour her in living as she wanted him to.

This is why Brontë’s ending is perfect. Jane doesn’t have to sacrifice all for love. She retains her money and her new-found family and most importantly, her spirit.

If she wanted to, she could make Edward her Bertha. She could lock him away and live as a single, or widowed, young woman. But she won’t. We know she won’t, because redemption and forgiveness are so vital to Jane’s belief system. She forgives Aunt Reed for her cruelty, and St John for his callousness. She says it herself, when she tells Mr Rochester that she must leave him: “I forgave him all, yet not in words”.

Jane is not weak. She forgives those who she deems worthy. She would not return to Mr Rochester, would not marry him and be his loving wife, if she wasn’t certain he had at least begun to redeem himself. No, he is not perfect (and far from it) but he doesn’t have to be. Thanks to Charlotte Brontë’s skilful prose, Jane and Edward feel like real human beings and human beings have deep flaws, fissures which run deep through each and every one of us. To expect Edward to be a perfect man, is akin to Mr Rochester affirming that Jane is an “angel” following the proposal. Jane rejects this idea because she does not require divinity or perfection from herself or anyone else, so why should we?

Of course, given the book’s socio-historical context, many of Jane’s views on her autonomy were controversial, progressive, and empowering for the women who read her story.

Naturally, this message doesn’t hold the same weight today, as we live in the fourth-wave of feminism. However, I’ve always found it exceptional that Jane still chooses Edward, in spite of his disability.

Even today, disabled people are often regarded as inferior romantic partners. I’ve seen this in the way self-proclaimed feminists online claim that Jane is forced to be Mr Rochester’s nurse now that he is disabled (as if Edward is evil for not turning her away - and he does give Jane that heart-wrenching option). I don’t quite know how to articulate just how awful and ableist it is to say things like that.

So, in conclusion, I believe that the end of Jane Eyre is perfect because it draws the novel to a close in a manner which is cohesive with what Jane has always longed for - love, freedom and a sense of belonging. She is able to attain all of this without hurting others unnecessarily. She has been broken down and so has Edward.

Together, with care and tenderness, they can build up their home, and their lives anew.

#mine #classic lit #books #jane eyre #charlotte brontë #opinion #edward fairfax rochester #jane x edward #bertha mason #add a cut

[sexynetra]

Hi! LATAM queer here that doesn't have English as a first language writing this just so you understand the importance of your work:

I haven't been active in tumblr for like almost half a year now, but I literally just logged in today to see if you had post any RAWNSYF update/new dialogue that I might have missed. I had no ideia what was going on on twitter when I logged in today. And I'm so sorry that you got exposed like that. If it is any consolation, RAWNSYF is one of my favorite fics ever written. Def my fav anarcia fic. To me, fanfic in queer spaces is a way I can read about the queer experience and relate to my own life. That is what I love about RAWNSYF, I have a past love experience that is really similar to what Anetra is going through in your fic. By reading it, I can help my 18 year old self heal. I'm not sending you this to necessarily encourage you to post a new chapter. After all that happened yesterday, I'll totally understand if you never update. I'm telling you all this so you know that your work matter. Your fic might be one of the few media work that I've ever felt so represented. Fanfic is important to queer people like us because of this: we don't have much representation in the wide media. So we turn to our own community to see ourselves being represented in this kind of spaces. Because of this, I ask you with all the kindness that I have inside of me: if you don't want to post an update, I'll totally get it! But please, PLEASE, don't ever feel guilty for what you've already wrote and posted. It means more to people that never saw themselves in media that anyone who's not queer could ever understand.

Hi there <33

This has just been sitting in my inbox because every time I went to respond I started crying again 😅

This is the sweetest message I have ever received and I cannot even possibly express just how much it meant to me to read this.

I started rawnsyf out of a desire to see the stories I wanted to read about being shared. (Well, technically I started rawnsyf as a 2am writing practice that was never supposed to be expanded upon but here we are) I honestly never thought anyone else would actually read it 😂 it was just a little story that had all my favorite story tropes in it. That was it.

But then rawnsyf grew. It grew in the scope of what I was writing about, and it grew in its reach. Suddenly, people were reading it, and it was connecting with them on a level I never anticipated.

Rawnsyf started as a fanfic about two queens I enjoyed, but I hand on my heart believe that it has grown to be so much more than that. This story, that was originally just a fun little writing exercise and a cute little love story, has become something that people really feel a connection to, and feel represented by.

I honestly never expected that, it’s beyond my wildest dreams. I think anyone who creates content hopes that it will resonate with people, but I never expected the scope it would have (which sounds braggadocious but I never expected the story to really become important to anybody besides me, and over and over again the amazing community on here has proven me wrong).

It started as a story about two queens I love, but it has grown beyond that. The characters in the story have lives of their own. They exist beyond the drag queens that inspired them. And this message, maybe more than any other, reminds me just how powerful those characters can be.

I am so infinitely grateful that you took the time to send this message, and even more infinitely honored and touched that you have allowed me to express myself through my writing and taken it onto yourself. Nothing will ever mean more to me than people being able to feel seen and find healing through something I’ve created.

Rawnsyf is not over, and it’s all because of the love people like you have shared with me for this story.

I hope I can do you justice with this story and my heart is so full <3333

I am crying again so I will end this here but my heart just feels so full. Thank you for sending this to me and being so honest and vulnerable. It means more to me than you could ever know

#I have so much more to say but #this is what I can get out right now #I know this response isn’t worthy of the original message but I hope that it is a good enough portrayal of my response #anyways this message is absolutely beautiful and so powerful #people like you are the reason to keep writing #and I hope that you find so much incredible media that allows you to heal and feel seen and I’m so infinitely moved that rawnsyf is a piece #of that #ask #asks #anon

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

20 Questions - Fanfic Writer Edition

I was tagged by both @writer-or-whatever and @jmrothwell so I suppose I better do it 😅 Thanks guys!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 42 (*gasp* am I Miles Morales?)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,265,660 lol

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently just Spider-Man but I used to write for Supernatural and before that Harry Potter. I'm a one obsession at a time kinda girl.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) - 72k spideypool soulmates au

Don't Freak Out - 136k parkner rivals to lovers speedrun

A Peach Like You - 73k parkner featuring autistic!peter, loveatfirstsight!harley, and a cringe self insert as the villain of the week lmao

The Distance Between (You and Me) - 29k parkner bodyguard au

You're Freaking Out - 166k sequel to DFO featuring plot (wow!) and Miles (yay!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

My dudes I try. I know I'm not very consistent and I have a tendency to disappear for months at a time, but I read and cherish each one.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angsty endings lol I think the closest I've gotten is Lay Me Down - 8k destiel major character death--lowest kudosed fic out of all 42 lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is an impossible question. I am like the queen of happy endings? You want me to rank them??? Fine, it's You're Freaking Out. Best 10k epilogue in the land. Oh hey also I just noticed it has 997 kudos. May I humbly request 3 more pretty please?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Closest was when someone complained on one of my destiel fics about the grocery store not having plastic bags and needing a quarter in order to obtain a cart. I specifically remember they said, "I hate when writers do this," and went on to complain about us making up obviously fake stuff that pulls them out of the story. Like, first of all you're complaining about storytellers making stuff up ??? okay. And second, it was an Aldi. A real grocery store. That I didn't make up.

I had to take a day to cool off before I responded and then they were like oh yeah, my roommate told me when I complained to them, you responded to this really nicely though! WHICH folks LET ME TELL YOU made me angrier lol Like you found out you were wrong and didn't even come back to edit/delete/apologize for your comment???

Anyway after that I internalized that you don't know what kind of lived experience your commenters have so some comments should be taken with a grain of salt. Which is a double-edged sword bc sometimes I get really nice enthusiastic comments and read it like, okay but what if this person is 12 and read it at 2am in a fit of delirium and this is their first fic ever and it's actually not as good as they think haha

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I doooo. I haven't published any since I wrote for spn but I have a parkner pwp ready to go as soon as I muster up the nerve.

I have no idea how to interpret the question "what kind" lol uhhh the hot kind? pffft

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have but I never published them. Again, these were for spn which is hella fun to play with merging into other canon. I started but never finished spn crossovers with Firefly, The 100, The Hunger Games, Criminal Minds, Agents of Shield, and Teen Wolf. I think that's all of them. I've been thinking about putting all of my abandoned wips on AO3 for archive purposes, but idk still noodling on it. I wish there way a way I could elect to post without notifying my subscribers :/ Or at least send them a message warning them that I'm about to be incredibly annoying

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of 🙃

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! A few now! The ultimate kudo in my opinion, and one I never expected <3

The wonderful @bluettspetal has translated An Insignificant Problem, Undercover? I thought you said under covers..., and Completely and utterly devoid of sex appeal into Russian with plans to translate more.

And Faaayeee42 on AO3 translated Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) to Mandarin Chinese.

I'm forever blown away by this.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Done some brainstorming a few times but nothing that has evolved into actually writing out a shared thing. Not sure I'd be any good at it tbh. I'd probably be a very frustrating writing partner.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Peter Parker/Harley Keener. They're good boys.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My Infinity War time travel fix it (make it worse) fic 😔 It's got so much potential but it is perpetually at the bottom of the to-do list.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and developing relationships

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

mother fucking action sequences and like, coming up with The Plan (the evil kind and the ones to take down the evil kind)

This silly little graphic I made for You're Freaking Out where Harley mocks The Plan made by the spider dumplin gang was initially one half of my brain negging the other half about being shit at making Plans and I decided that it might as well manifest as the characters lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Eh. It's fanfiction, you know? Do what you want. Experiment. Try your best to do it justice. Accept that some people are going to let their eyes blur and skim over it while others will pick it apart but most will exist somewhere in the middle. Just write what you want to write, how you want to write it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

*sigh* Harry Potter. Looking forward to my own post getting gobbled up by my block list lmao

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Goodness gracious how do I even decide? I think Peaches Ain't Pretty is my favorite. It's the fic that showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can step outside of fanfiction and write whatever I want and be just as satisfied, if not more.

#tag games #20 questions #parkner

[wanderersfinale]

hide and seek 🌀 heizou x reader

summary: you and heizou decide to play hide and seek, with the winner getting to ask the loser to do anything. heizou has an idea of what he's going to ask you to do...

warnings: one singular swear word

tags: gn reader, fluff, just heizou and reader being silly lol

word count: 690

notes: i wrote most of this at like 2am so if there's any mistakes please point them out so i can fix them

on those rare days when heizou wasn't busy, he always made sure to spend time with you. it didn't matter if you wanted to stay at home or go out, he had the perfect plan for every situation. well, on this particular day you two had agreed to play hide and seek in chinju forest. his idea, not yours.

and to spice things up a bit, the winner had to, well, win something. you suggested that whoever lost would do one thing for the winner. "anything within reason," you'd said. so, whether it was treating the both of you to dinner at uyuu restaurant, finding a pretty flower for the other person, or anything in between, you were fine with it.

you had flipped a coin to decide who hides. if it landed on heads, you'd be the one hiding. tails, and it would be heizou. for plot purposes, the coin landed on heads.

"alright. count down from one hundred so i have time to hide, then start this timer. it's set for five minutes," you said.

"five minutes?" he asked. "i could find you in three."

"you sure? ...fine, three minutes."

you adjusted the timer, then gave it to heizou. he closed his eyes and even covered his ears so he couldn't hear your footsteps. that seemed a bit too confident, but you weren't complaining. the more challenges heizou gave himself just meant your odds of winning went up.

you considered climbing a tree, but one wrong step and you'd break off a stick, which would decide the odds of the game. so you settled for hiding in a bush. it was the perfect spot, you realized. the leaves covered you almost completely, but you could still see a little bit of your surroundings. heizou would only find you if he thought to look closely at your hiding spot.

just after finding a position you could stay in for the entire three minutes, you hear heizou say "three... two... one... ready or not, here i come!"

ten seconds pass. then twenty, thirty, forty... about a minute in, you hear footsteps approaching. not ready to lose, you hold your breath. heizou's standing right in front of you, but maybe he hasn't noticed you yet.

never mind, he's definitely noticed you. he crouches down to the same height as you, then moves a leaf out of the way so the two of you are making eye contact.

"found you."

"yeah, no need to rub it in... so, what do you want me to do?" you ask.

"first, get out of that bush. then, stand really still and close your eyes," heizou said. he smiled, and you noticed a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

you stood up and brushed a few leaves off of your clothes. then, you close your eyes, and soon you feel heizou's arms around you.

"wait a sec," you heard him say, "i know this will ruin the surprise, but you're fine with me kissing you, right?"

"we agreed that the winner could get almost anything," you answer. yes, you're aware that you dodged the question, but it would be kind of embarrassing to just say you really want him to kiss you, right?

"(name). open your eyes."

you oblige, and he continues, "i want you to actually want this. if you don't, we'll do something else."

"alright. it's just... i'm embarrassed. of fucking course i want you to kiss me, but it's easier to think something like that than actually saying it, you know?"

"i get it. sorry, i didn't think about that," heizou said, almost sounding a bit guilty.

you close your eyes again. this time, you feel heizou pulling you a bit closer, then his lips against yours. you also feel your heart beating faster than you think it should, and you would've mistook it for nervousness if you hadn't read about this feeling before.

when he pulls away, your eyes flutter open. naturally, the first thing you notice is heizou's smile. then, you see that he's blushing.

"haha, we should do this more often, don't you think?" he asks.

you just hum in agreement.

#heizou x reader #heizou fluff #genshin x reader #shikanoin heizou #it is 3am and this is my first fic here please be nice

[sips-tea-cutely]

Congratulations for 800 dear!! It’s well deserved! For the event could I please get 14 and/or 19 with dear Fyodor? Female reader if you wouldn’t mind <3

Untitled

“I've lost all control of my heartbeat now, got caught in a romance with her somehow. I still feel a shock through every bone when I hear an, "I love you", 'cause now I've got someone to lose”

a/n: HI I WROTE THIS WITH 3 SHOTS OF COFFEE AT 2AM IN THE DARK I CANT FEEL MY HEART I CAN SEE BONES DAZAI IN FRONT OF ME SORRY IF OOC 😭😭😭 ALSO GOING PST ANONS CURFEW AHAHAHAHAHA

prompt: “You have to come back to me. Because I cannot do this without you.”, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” & “I can’t lose you again! Please, don’t make me lose you again.”

an accident. it was the reason fyodor was protective of you; being near him at all times, any stranger near you being ‘taken cared of’, and even him checking in on you (how kind of him, no?).

it is also one of the many reasons why he must get rid of abilities. their abilities hurt you— their carelessness hurt you.

fyodor never wanted to include you in any of his plans, you were all too valuable to him. but this— all of the rat members are all recognized criminals to the government, the decay as well are too special in the public eye, and he couldn’t do it himself. no, he needed someone who’d trust him— someone who isn’t special to the government nor the public. it wasnt the ideal situation but it was the one that would give the best results.

“well? will you do it or no?” fyodor’s eyes narrowed at you. he seems to think he looked uncaring but it was obvious with his unusually shaky fingers. “just cause a conflict? sure, it’s not that hard. as long as dazai isn’t near.” you mutter. “very well then, ill have father hawthorne lead him away.” fyodor subtly relaxed his muscles but even so, he seemed tense. “alright then, i’ll do it.”

discussing details took forever. going over the plan— sow rumors of the port mafia’s secrets, reveal the hidden crimes of the agency— they will assume the other had done it or perhaps the guild did it as a last resort to stay alive? a war between the gifted will happen without the decay lifting a single finger.

“alright, fedya, i understand already, no need to continue on…” you grumble. “right, you need to rest too— ah, just—” fyodor scrunched his face in irritation, desperately trying to express his affections for you. “you have to come back to me, i cannot do this without you— i cannot lose you again. so please, don’t make me lose you again.” fyodor’s eyes were often calculating yet at this moment, they had the look of sincerity. “of course, i’ll do my best to stay safe. no need to worry, fedya.”

“yes, now sleep well, my myshka.” he said as lead you to the bed, brushing the hair that lay on the pillows.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

fyodor blacked out. he vaguely remembers someone reporting to him that you and hawthorne were arrested for conspiracy. a couple thousands were used to bail, that was no problem but, you were injured. sprained wrist, black eye, bruised body— did they take you tie you up after finding out the truth? perhaps he should really give dazai credit for his intelligence.

the pastor’s incompetence to just distract someone is laughable, the only thing he is good for is to kiss that ms. margaret’s boot. despite his anger, fyodor could feel himself relating to hawthorne— being so lovestruck for one that can’t comprehend just exactly how much he loves you, it’s a feeling that can make a man careless.

there isn’t much to do of what has happened. fyodor carefully disinfected your wounds as he lectured you about carefulness. “fedya, i swear it was just bad luck!.. it’s not really my fault that the agency’s detective was able to sniff me out so quickly...” you whine as he inspected your eye.

he carefully gripped your chin as he bandaged it. “myshka, i am not saying that— mr. edogawa is quite intelligent, you should’ve taken that into account as well.” fyodor wasn’t the best at advice… “well, either way, both of them were away long enough for gogol to find what we truly need. those secrets are barely the worst.”

“gh, then why are you so worried about this?” you scowled, sucking in your breath from the cold ice on your wrist. “do you really not get it? it’s because i want to spend the rest of my life with you. you’re someone who has seen me more than anyone else has before. i have not told most what i have told you— you’re special to me.”

“hm, it’s almost 11. both of us have quite an exciting day… i’ll join you for tonight, my angel.” fyodor looked at the clock before leading you to bed, much more affectionately than usual. if you could only see how love-struck he is.

#mod maki #loving you distantly — 800 followers event #bungo stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou sd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader

[kenobster]

3, 18 and 29 please <3333

From AO3 Wrapped [Writers' Edition]

Thank you for the ask, anon! ^_^

#3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I hate to be a cliche of myself again, but Five Peggats Each. (And this includes all things I've ever written in my life actually :D). There's a few reasons for it, I think. One, it's like HUGELY within my comfort zone. The limited setting, the noncon, the tropes of the characters themselves. This is the type of story I have the most practice with, so it naturally comes easier and in better quality I think? Two, how, despite it being a comfort zone, I've used this fic as kind of a sandbox to experiment a lot of different writing techniques. For example, this is the most POVs I've ever written in a single fandom, let alone a single story (which usually stays around 1-2). For other examples, like, I've tried to be really mindful about metaphors/prose and how they can twist reality (like that time I spent like 8 hours researching in-universe Star Wars bands & instruments just so I could write one paragraph lmao)... or even how I recently tried to use second person POV to give the reader the same disassociation/discomfort/dysphoria that Anakin was feeling after regaining use of the Force. These experiments were all really hard to pull off, and I'm proud of myself for attempting them. And three, how I've allowed 5PE to be a project that can take as long as I want it to take to finish, so long as I do finish it. So on one hand, it's been a really good exercise in self-discipline & practice in maintaining my passion for the story, despite the constant barrage of shiny new plot bunnies. And on the other hand, the lack of a time pressure allows me to really spend time on the quality of every single line (excepting human mistakes & typos of course lmfao), while also not letting that perfectionism stand in the way of progress. It's really helped me become more confident in storycrafting from beginning to end, in a way I've never really felt in my old fandom or writing. On top of all that, it's the only fic that I can actually read after posting updates without feeling like it's exfoliating my entire body to do so lol. I actually enjoy reading it sometimes. So that's nice.

#18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Answered here. :)

#29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year

Really hard one omg. If I have to choose something I've already posted on ao3, then it'd probably be one of these three: (1) in Five Peggats Each, the passage I also described above regarding Anakin's fever as it relates to the jizz band & cantina in chapter 6; the passage I put in the fic summary for Every Shadow, but the full version of it as written in chapter 2, not the abridged version in the summary; and (3) the opening paragraph of What Dead Things See.

But but but imo -trembles with excitement (I've been dying to show this, folks, what a good opportunity)- none of those passages even hold a candle to this thing that poured out of my brain one sleepless night at 2am for some unposted/unfinished oneshot:

For a moment, when he was nine years old, Anakin thought himself to be a whore. In an effort to scrub the slave out of him, the temple healers had pumped him full of vaccines and medications and water and food. He'd been lying on a brand new bed in a brand new room and counting the speeders whose lights flashed across the wall. That's when the memory burned. If they want you for your strength, his anma said, then they won't squander a second of it. Your back will ache and your feet will throb before the very first sunset. But Anakin's back wasn't aching and his feet didn’t throb. If they want you for your mind, they'll test your skills and put you to work, and they'd tested him, yes, but not his ability to steer the yoke of a podracer at the drop of a pin, nor his ability to disassemble and reassemble any gadget known to sentient life. They'd only studied the gaps in his knowledge and he'd had none of the answers and he'd seen the pity in their gazes. And if they feed you, said his anma, if they let you rest in a bed and say they'll take care of you, then the first chance you get, you must run. As fast as you can, as hard as you can, even if they activate your bomb. Because some fates, my love, are worse than death. You must always be wise enough to know that.  And Anakin, well fed and well rested, hadn't wanted to run fast or run hard or detonate his bomb. Anakin hadn't wanted to escape this new place that sang of plenty and of love and of home. So he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled through the darkened shared quarters until he found his new master's bed. Clammy, feverish, and half-asleep, Anakin crawled under the covers and felt around for his master's trousers. Obi-Wan awoke in an instant.  That night, they found no rest at all—rather, hours of conversation while Anakin shivered on the couch huddled in afghans and quilts and comforters and tried to explain that, yes, he knew he was free and he knew he was safe and he knew all he had to say was a word and he'd be taken wherever else he wanted by whomever else he wanted and that, no, Obi-Wan had never said or done anything to suggest such a thing was wanted and that if he ever did going forward, Anakin would tell him straight away, and that, yes, he understood the difference between a master and a Master and that, no, he didn't need to use a different word—because Obi-Wan didn't yet know that there are some things you learn with your mind but other things you learn with your body, and that there's no actual function in the branding of a slave because the brand is already burnt into a slave's mind, as crisply and as permanently, as a molten pattern pressed to flesh. As he kneels before his Master, Anakin decides that Palpatine would have liked the gift of a nine-year-old groping beneath the bed sheets better. It would have saved them all a lot of time.

I will finish this one day... Have about 3 scenes written, and just need to write 1.5 scenes more. But the above part stands pretty well on its own so hopefully you all enjoyed! ^_^

#palpakin #anakin & obi-wan #anakin #obi-wan #anakin x palpatine #CW noncon #fic excerpt #mine #excerpt #answer #anon #AOP oneshot #long post

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.

#seriously long its like 1.4k words #the last post was 1.1k tho lol #lisa rpg #lisa the painful #lisa