#i write articles

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Earth’s hottest day ever recorded by human instruments

Better way to phrase this is : top 3 hottest daily average-global-temperatures ever recorded by human instruments were this week.

#climate change #news #breaking news #destiel news #global warming #just saw this on the news and now I have to go back to writing my essay as of earth isn’t in crisis #phrased this kind of poorly bc I was basing it on what the news anchor said and then found the article on the channels website

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[akajustmerry]

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

‘Killers Of The Flower Moon’ Can’t Escape Its Own White Gaze by Merryana Salem / Killers Of The Flower Moon (2023). Dir. Martin Scorsese

#killers of the flower moon #martin scorsese #lily gladstone #indigenous #media representation #writing #read the full article if you can guys my editors are looking for any excuse to claim i am not good at my job rn #/

[peachie5000]

okay so the news about the series possibly having a future is huge but I also do really need to emphasize queerplatonic/aroace lapidot real

#steven universe #su #lapidot #lapis #peridot #peachie #aroace #lemme be clear i still think the other readings are valid #im specifically referring to the era where if you brought up aroace peridot #BC of how the show seemed to write her in relation to fusion #people would shut you down immediately #i think its important this article clarifies that it WAS in fact a consideration in her character

[cairoscene]

a day on gotham twitter

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#batman #social media au #twitter au #bruce wayne #i made this instead of writing #if i happened to make up your username or something similar i'm sorry #i promise it was not intentional #unreality #in case anyone thinks this is a real huffpost article it's not #ITS ALL FAKE DON'T SUE ME

[gayagendaofficial]

hey uhhh. why the FUCK would you write the headline like that? like in 2015 you didn't see headlines like "the US sent gay people to conversion camps and had them lobotomized, now its Supreme Court is legalizing same-sex marriage." Cuba is on the verge of doing something amazing, meanwhile the US is facing a wave of homophobia and transphobia and a group of unelected judges can just decide to take the country back decades to the time of sodomy laws. then again, i'm not surprised that the Washington Post would write an article about a socialist country in the global south like this 🙄

#cuba #cuba referendum #washington post #socialism #same sex marriage #also i don't mind them discussing that stuff in the article itself. like it shows how far cuba has come #but why would you put it in the headline when yoh wouldn't write about the US or a european country like that?

[nyancrimew]

waiting for the hopefully once again temporary loss of focus and massive brainfog from covid to hopefully also fade away again after like a month just like the other time i had covid

#like fuck i rly hope this also goes away again #my writing has slowed down like literally by a hundred times #ive managed to write like four paragraphs so far this week despite more or less just focusing on doing these articles #it's so endlessly frustrating

[trek-tracks]

Space, the final frontier.

That is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to explore

The strange new worlds of our outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a five-year mission

And, by opposing, end it. To go—to seek,

Once more; and by “to seek” to say we find

The new life and new civilizations

Where man has gone not: 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To go, to seek;

To seek, perchance to find—ay, there's the rub:

For in these voyages what dreams may come,

When we have boldly gone whence we have not,

Must give us pause—there's the respect

That makes a mission of so long a life.

For who would bear the Enterprise of time,

The starship’s wrong, admirals’ contumely,

The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office, and the spurns

That patient merit of th'unworthy treks,

When he himself might make his voyage on

With a bare warp core? Who would tribbles bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the hope of something to be found,

The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn

We travel and return, puzzling our will,

And makes us wish to solve those ills we have

And fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience makes explorers of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is glistened o'er with the stars of thought,

And Enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents warp ahead

And seize the name of action.

#star trek #star trek tos #where no man has gone before #hamlet #to be or not to be #five year mission #space the final frontier #this is the sort of shit that goes on in my brain a good 70% of the time #i'm carpooling home from a choir rehearsal and talking to my friends and suddenly just #space the final frontier that is the question #pops into my head and just keeps going #i have two articles to write and 100 papers to grade

[eskawrites]

so i’m rewatching bits and pieces of s4 for fic reasons and it’s hitting me all over again how and why nancy reacts to robin the way she does before and during the library scene. like! nancy has spent every season having to justify why she thinks what she does or, more often than not, fight with someone to try to pursue her theories. barb is missing and no one is listening to her. barb’s death was unfair but steve thinks they should just keep living their lives normally. she knows there’s a story with mrs driscoll but everyone, jonathan included, is telling her to drop it.

so of course in s4 when she has this idea in the back of her mind, her first instinct is to pursue it alone. even though the others are right there, and they know what’s going on. she still thinks no one will believe her, and she’d rather just do it herself than have someone try to tell her no.

and when robin comes with her nancy thinks that she was right, that robin is just another person who is going to doubt her theories and fight her about whether this is worth their time. except, robin does believe her, she’s just trying to get the information she needs to keep up with nancy. and once they finally get on the same wavelength, everything clicks. robin not only supports nancy’s theory, she takes it and runs with it, and suddenly they have the foundation they need to figure out everything.

and what gets me even more is that, from that moment on, nancy keeps robin at her side. she’s keeping an eye out for her, standing near her in the group, letting her ride shotgun. even when she doesn’t fully trust robin at pennhurst, she still chooses her. and robin proves her wrong again, so nancy keeps choosing her and keeps trusting her.

idk man i just love how strong their dynamic is, and how clear it is that this is good for both of them. for robin to have someone other than steve see her and accept her and care so deeply for her after being the odd one out at the end of s3. and for nancy to have someone finally in her corner, supporting her and believing in her without trying to get with her. they fit so well and their arc in s4 is such a treat, i love it so much

#spending my saturday morning rambling instead of actually writing #but oh well #ronance #writing things #i also have thoughts about robin being the odd one out at the end of s3 but that's another post #(i also ALSO have thoughts about the scene where they're reading the article together. you know the one.) #(and the look nancy gives robin when she's focusing on her rather than the paper. you know the one.) #but anywayyy

[dailykafka]

Was kafka really a zionist?

First, I feel like I have to mention that the modern day zionism (which is used as propaganda that serves Israel) is very different from what it was in its starting days. Europe's rising antisemitism in 20th century made jewish life impossible there and a seperate Jewish state was a last chance for jews to survive.

Fun fact! Did you know that Israel was supposed to be in Africa but other european colonisers didn't want another major power in Africa?

Back to Kafka. When Zionist movement was just starting in Europe Kafka was quite fascinated by it. He was close friends with some very devout zionists in his late twenties, went to lectures and seminars and was close with the movement. But over the years Kafka changed his views, he disagreed with the movement on various issues and he distanced himself from it mainly because he did not share their idea about creating a seperate jewish state in middle east.

Kafka often spoke of immigrating to Palestine but ultimately for him it didn't solve the "jewish problem" (he didn't think packing up and settling somewhere else would bring true peace for jews). Kafka was more concerned about the lives of jews in Europe and how they could have lived peacefully in Europe (he states very clearly in diaries and letters too that he didn't want to leave home and go somewhere else).

So shortly, Kafka shared zionists' sentiments of protecting jews from discrimination in Europe but he was against forming a jewish state in middle east.

Also a bit off the topic but the way Israel for years has tried to literally trap Kafka's works in Israel and has worked on creating the myth of "zionist Kafka" is worth taking note of. The legal battle over Franz Kafka's work and to whom it belongs has been very messy. I have seen couple of times Israel trying to portray Kafka as if he belongs to Israel just because he is jewish. I doubt Kafka would approve of this.

#i think i said bit more than was necessary but yeah that's the short answer i think😅 #love getting asks that require writing actual academic articles lol #asks

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

#for adblocking--ublock origin is my favorite but adblocker plus is also popular #also i once again highly recommend using firefox especially on mobile #to enable adblock on firefox mobile just click 3 dot menu > addons > addon manager > enable uBlockOrigin #that's for android i assume it's similar for iOS #update it is NOT similar for iOS bc Apple hates you. i'll write another post later #anyway. PLEASE USE AN ADBLOCK ALL THE TIME (except for specific websites you want to support) #your internet browsing experience will be so enormously improved #also on firefox if you want to get past a paywall click the 'Toggle reader view' button as soon as the page loads #(it's on the right of the taskbar. a little rectangle with horizontal lines) #works for most news sites by showing you the webpage text that is hidden under the 'you've run out of free articles' popup #doesn't work for everything but it's worth a shot

[sk-lumen]

The secret to create healthy habits.

Motivation > discipline > consistency > habits. That's the process from start to finish, for changing your life around with healthy choices.

Motivation is only the launchpad to start with, after that you can't rely on it because it comes and goes on a whim! A lot of people make the mistake on relying on it all throughout, and then wonder why they can't stay on track while other people do.

What you need next is discipline: when you commit to something and stick to it even when it's hard, even when you don't feel like it, because that's how you fill the gaps inbetween to create a routine.

And you create a routine by staying consistent. Today, tomorrow, again and again.

When you stay consistent over months, over half a year, it becomes a habit, and when something becomes a habit, it's effortless to keep going because that is now your default setting. It becomes your new normal, the choice that comes easiest to make because you don't even have to make it or think it; you just lean back into it.

Going to the gym regularly becomes like having a meal; if you don't do it, you'll feel restless and off, genuinely craving the movement and the boost of endorphins. When you eat healthy regularly, you feel it right away if you get off track and indulge in too many treats: you'll feel it in your body, in your mental clarity, in your emotional wellbeing and it's so much easier getting back on track because healthy is your new default.

#level up #that girl #growth mindset #high value woman #healthy habits #glow up #motivation #i discussed this with my trainer and he said it's completely on point with his 10-15 yrs of experience #discipline #consistency #writings #articles #gym #exercise #lumen's diary

[insomniac-arrest]

Back with a new article! Woo! Here is a list of 100 date ideas for writing romance. I often find myself wanting to write a romantic scene and defaulting to dinner--which is a classic but can become repetitive. Here are interesting prompts to inspire a variety of scenes for the sparks to fly.

Check it out and leave some claps on the article too! They help me out. 

#writers on tumblr #writing tips #writing romance #writing prompts #romance prompts #article #I forgot I had a medium article to post about lol

[whaliiwatching]

hobie in a croptop that says ‘thot crime’

and proud of it too

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #art request #he’s just so fucking fun to draw #he is glowing!!!!!! #the article/poem/writing scraps around him reflect his mood #kind of. or i just cobble cool shit together #bonus noir bc he is important to me #(and deserves to read one of the greatest novels of all time)

[hardly-an-escape]

A Close Shave | Dream/Hob | 2150 words | Rated G

tags: retired!Dream, shaving, unmitigated yearning and longing, the pining is probably mutual but you only get Hob's POV

“Been meaning to ask," Hob says. "How are you feeling about... this?"

He gestures to his chin, the stubble there, and across the table, Dream slowly puts down his spoon. Even more slowly, he raises one hand to his own chin and runs the backs of his fingers along the newly-grown layer of hair there.

It’s been a little over a month, and by now Hob is used to the speed – or rather, lack thereof – with which Dream finds it necessary to live his freshly-human life. A month, since Dream had chosen to live, and chosen to live with Hob, taking over the spare room and filling it with books and soft cardigans and snacks as he learned his own likes and dislikes as Dream-the-human.

It still feels to Hob as though there’s a minor miracle sitting across the breakfast table, now thoughtfully fondling the brand-new beard on his chin.

“Ah,” Dream says eventually. “You mean this. The hair on my face. Yes, I have noticed it.”

“I’ve never seen you with a beard before,” Hob says neutrally.

“I suppose I never felt the need to manifest one when I visited the Waking World,” Dream says. He returns most of his attention to his oatmeal. It still requires some concentration, to hold the spoon steady; to make sure it reaches his mouth without spilling. Hob watches for a moment, impressed all over again with Dream’s willingness to try.

“Does it bother you, having one now?” he asks.

“Why would it bother me? It is a part of my body, is it not?”

Hob, wisely, refrains from mentioning the other body parts and functions – the sunburn, the stubbed toe, the sensations of hunger and dizziness and nausea, the need for sleep and to relieve himself – which have bothered Dream an inordinate amount over the past four weeks.

“But do you like it?” Hob presses gently. “I mean, one of the great things about being human is that it’s pretty easy to change our looks, generally speaking. Maybe not as easy as just… manifesting. But still. You get to choose what you look like, whether it’s a beard or clean-shaven, or, or pink hair. Or anything. Infinite variety.”

Dream puts his spoon down again and brings both hands up to his face. His palms cup either side of his chin and his long, narrow fingers stroke gently, from the downy hairs peppering his cheekbones, down into the hollows of his cheeks (not quite as gaunt as they used to be, Hob notes with a swell of gratitude), and then along the line of his chin to where it ends in a devastating little point.

In the morning light, with his face framed by those artistic fingers and a look of such solemn concentration on his features, he looks like a statue; a religious icon, perhaps, contemplative and blessed. His eyes are closed and his rosebud of a mouth is very pink and very slightly open.

Hob has to dig his fingernails into his own thigh to stop himself from reaching out and running his own fingers down Dream’s cheek, or brushing his thumb along that unfairly soft-looking bottom lip.

“Hm,” Dream says finally. “I do not think I dislike the beard. But equally, I am not sure that I like it. I am not sure that my face… feels like me.”

“Well,” Hob says. “You can shave it off, if you want. See if you feel more like yourself. I can – I can help you. Obviously.”

Obviously. Obviously. He supposes it is obvious – it must be – how desperately he wants to help Dream. How abject his desire to make this fragile, human life a little more bearable, in any small way he can.

“Yes,” says Dream. “I would… like that. Thank you.”

Hob drags a kitchen chair into the bathroom. Digs out his softest hand towel and wets it with hot water before wrapping it carefully around Dream’s face and neck. He chatters idly as he gathers his supplies: random recollections about his favorite Turkish bath in London, which had gone out of business during the Great War, and the Russian steambaths and Finnish saunas he’s seen during his travels.

He doesn’t use his old straight razor much anymore, preferring a good reusable safety razor for himself when he’s going clean shaven, but he’s always found a well-honed, old-fashioned cutthroat to be more comfortable when shaving someone else. And he keeps his razors, like any tool, in good condition whether he’s using it regularly or not; the mother-of-pearl handle is clean and polished, the joint moves smoothly, and the blade gleams.

Dream watches through hooded eyes as Hob strops the razor and mixes up the suds of shaving foam. He loads up the soft bristle brush before removing the towel and making sure Dream is positioned in front of the mirror.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Hob says. “I’m going to start by just doing your neck and cheeks, clean up the edges a bit. You might like it more when it looks like an intentional beard, not just a couple weeks’ worth of shaggy growth. And if you’re still not feeling it, we’ll shave the rest. Sound okay?”

Dream nods, and Hob goes to work.

Touching Dream is – not difficult, not exactly. If anything, it’s too easy. Hob’s fingertips hunger for the soft brush of Dream’s skin, for the fluff of his dark hair, for his stubble and his slender hands and the little creases in the corners of his eyes. In those earliest mad days, when Dream hadn’t even been strong enough to walk on his own, Hob had manhandled him matter-of-factly. He’d helped him walk, and dress, and eat; taught him how the bathtub worked and washed his body, cheerfully ignoring the furious flush on Dream’s face at the indignity of needing to be cared for. They’d gotten through it.

He’s mature enough to admit to himself that he misses it, now that Dream has gained enough strength of body and mind to do it all for himself. There’s something so intimate about that contact with another person: about being needed in that particular intense way. It’s heady. The longing for it almost chokes him, sometimes, with how badly he wants it: to hoist Dream in his arms and cradle him against his chest. To wash his hair and rub him gently dry. To hold a cup of water or warm milk to those perfect lips.

But Hob, for all his faults, is trying so hard not to be an asshole these days. So he doesn’t touch Dream that way, now that it isn’t needed – now that he isn’t needed. No matter how much he might like to.

Until now.

Now, for just a moment, he lets himself indulge. Runs his hungry fingertips along the soft, vulnerable curves of Dream’s throat and the firmer lines of his jaw as he brushes on the shaving foam. Tips his head gently this way and that, revels guiltily in how biddable Dream is as he sits quietly in the chair.

Hob takes his time with the actual shaving, both out of caution (perhaps even a bit of terror, that he might inadvertently mark that precious skin) and out of a desire to linger over the experience for as long as he can get away with. Unfortunately, shaving just a person’s neck doesn’t really take that long, regardless of how carefully one does it. Within just a handful of minutes, he is carefully wiping the last spot of soap from the hollow of Dream’s throat and turning him fully toward the bathroom mirror.

“What do you think?” he asks.

Dream doesn’t answer right away. He turns his head from side to side, surveying his reflection. Then he tilts his chin up and runs his fingers down the newly-soft skin of his neck. Hob’s fingertips tingle. He knows the sensation Dream is experiencing, knows it intimately: the smoothness of the hairless skin, the slight tackiness of the moisturizer. Knows it from his own face, and from the faces of lovers over the decades, and even from poor, long-dead Robyn’s face, when he’d taught his son to shave.

He doesn’t say anything, and after a moment Dream meets his eye in the mirror.

“I think I would like to have the rest of it off,” he says. “If you would not mind…?”

“No problem,” says Hob softly.

They go through the whole ritual once more: the hot towel, mixing up the foam. Hob strops the razor again, just to be sure. This time he carefully rubs a little pre-shave oil into Dream’s beard to soften the hairs as much as possible, then covers his face with the thick foam.

“I don’t really know if the oil does much,” he admits, “but the last time I went for a proper shave at a barber’s, the bloke who did it swore by the stuff. I guess I’m a sucker for a good upsell. And it does smell nice.”

It takes much longer this time, of course. He finishes the first pass, wipes Dream’s face, lathers him again and goes for a second pass. He leaves Dream’s sideburns mostly alone, just taking them up enough to blend in with the hair falling shaggy over his ears – if Dream wants a haircut that will have to be another adventure, to a real barber or a salon, because Hob doesn’t trust himself with that kind of artistry, not where Dream is concerned.

He narrates as he goes, describing the best angle to hold the blade, how to gently pull the skin taut to avoid nicks, when to go with the grain of the hair and when to scrape against it. Reminiscing further on his favorite barbers and spas and on a broad history of facial hair and shaving. He is babbling a bit, he knows, but he tells himself it’s for educational purposes; that this kind of general knowledge could potentially serve Dream well as he navigates a new human life.

He’s certainly not talking in order to distract himself from the sensation of Dream’s skin and the soft sounds of Dream’s breath, or to stop himself from saying something much more revealing and embarrassing. Like how he wants to take care of Dream for the rest of time. Or how badly he wants to see if his skin is as soft all the way down as it is in the tender place just behind his ear. Or how fiercely grateful he is that Dream has chosen to live, to try, to be here, to sit in a kitchen chair and eat oatmeal, to sit in this bathroom and let Hob run his fingers down the line of his jaw, over and over, trying to memorize the feeling of every inch of skin he’s allowed to touch as he runs the razor over the valleys of Dream’s cheeks.

He will never run out of words to say to Dream – or words he wishes he could say – but eventually he does run out of skin to shave. At his direction, Dream leans over the sink and rinses his face with cold water, then gently pats in aftershave while Hob meticulously dries his razor and clears away the shaving tackle.

Then it’s quiet in the little bathroom for a long, long moment while Dream reexamines his face in the mirror.

“Well?” Hob says eventually, so low it’s almost a whisper. He allows himself one last touch. Drops his hand onto Dream’s shoulder and squeezes gently.

Dream makes eye contact in the mirror, and Hob is shocked by a swift bolt of recognition. Here, in front of him, is Dream – his Stranger, his centennial mystery – so different, so human, and yet, suddenly, so familiar. It could almost be 1489 again, save the electric lighting; his hair is nearly long enough, and the imperious pout is back on his lips.

And then he opens his mouth.

“Hob, I –” he trails off. Breathes. “I am me.”

Hob squeezes his shoulder again. “Of course you are.”

“No, you misunderstand. I – I recognize myself,” Dream says, unconsciously echoing Hob’s thoughts. “I see a man, and he looks like me.” He meets Hob’s eye in the mirror once again. “I – thank you.”

Dream’s eyes are, unaccountably, welling up with tears, as beautiful and delicate as the rest of him. Hob does the only thing he can think to do, which is to drop his chin to Dream’s shoulder, lay his own hairy cheek alongside Dream’s newly-smooth, freshly-scented face, wrap his arms around Dream’s bony chest, and hold him.

One of Dream’s hands comes up and wraps itself around Hob’s wrist, and they stay that way for a long time: Dream in the kitchen chair, in front of the bathroom mirror, and Hob behind him, holding him, crouched somewhat uncomfortably, but exactly where he wants to be.

---

this has been languishing in my drafts for absolute ages and I wish it hadn't taken me so ding dang long but it is what it is || this two cakes situation is inspired by @watercubebee's art and dedicated to her and @valeriianz 🎂🎂 || art, Kris's ficlet (plus part two)

read on AO3 >>>

#hello I am once again posting barely edited fics in the wee hours AS IS MY WONT #do you know how long I've had a tab open with the wikihow article on shaving with a straight razor?? it's been WEEKS #someday I will improve on my current writing speed of twelve words per day smh #my writing #dreamling #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling