eskawrites

[eskawrites]

After

Tenar needs a long sleep with her wife and naps with her little siblings

#the cuddle pile omg 🥺🥺🥺 #RAE #tenar deserves all the naps and hugs let my girl REST #Erathia #Tenar my beloved #tenlark

[eskawrites]

Six Sentence Sunday Monday!

tagged by @bus-ghoul and @lesbianlotties thank youuu! <3 and you both have impeccable timing because i'm finally writing semi-consistently again after like 2 solid weeks of not

anyway from the lethal company au

Nancy doesn’t remember exactly when she knew Barb was gone. Sometimes she thinks it took forever, all of them clinging to their denial as they passed around excuses for why they hadn’t heard from her. Other times, she feels like she knew it from the moment Mrs. Holland said, so casually, “It’s been a few days since Barb has written. That’s not like her.” What she does remember is the way it felt when reality finally, fully, set in. Barb’s father grew angry, furious with all the people who could not or would not help. Her mother became almost delusional with blind hope, giving away everything she had on the slim chance that the next thing they tried would actually bring Barb home.

like many people around these parts, i am shy about tagging and also most people i would tag have already done it so! if you see this, you're it. boom. i tagged you. go and spread the good news. keep it for tomorrow and do a six sentence sunday monday tuesday, if you like

#barb haunting the narrative as she does #only a little tho #lethal company au #writing things #i had to count this like 10 different times to see if it was 6 sentences #like bro i've had 2 sips of my drink i should not be this out of it #why am i trying to write actually #anyway #it might be 7 sentences based on how you view dialogue within a sentence #hmmmm #fun fact this is like the only 2 paragraphs in everything i've written today that aren't super full of spoilers #which means they were also the only two paragraphs that didn't feature ronance. i'm sorry

[eskawrites]

“Tenar! Come on, Tenar. You’ve never let anyone control you before, don’t start now.”

#ALL HAIL THE QUEEN #and I mean both tenar and sweepy bc come ON #tenar my beloved #TENAR MY QUEEN #get ‘em girl your wife needs you #Rae. Rae talk about it #Erathia #and #tenlark #bc you know lark is right there calling out to her #truly Rae you absolutely knocked this out of the park #your mind is chef’s kiss dear lord #I’ve been at the edge of my seat for decades about this and it was SO worth it look at herrrrr #that fourth drawing needs to be carved into marble my god #she is REGAL and she is going to kick ass

[eskawrites]

Hopper’s talking to her, telling her to breathe, but all Nancy can focus on is Robin, dead, in front of her.

She barely registers when Steve stumbles in. Hopper’s moving before she processes it, trying to gently escort him out.

Steve’s a mess. Wild-eyed, his face streaked with tears, hair unkept.

“I need to say goodbye,” Steve begs, fighting against Hopper’s steady arms. “I need—I need to tell her I love her and that I’m sorry and—and I need to find the fuckers that did this—”

Steve knows about her ‘gift’. He looks directly at her, a plea on his face.

Nancy thinks of Barb, still and silent in her arms.

“Let him stay,” she croaks.

“Wheeler—” Hopper starts. She shakes her head.

“Let him stay.”

Hopper relents. Steve scrambles over, faltering when he sees Robin.

Nancy understands. It’s not a pretty sight.

At open-casket funerals, the deceased undergoes hours of careful preparation to make them look presentable. To make sure they look as close to how they did in life as possible.

That is not the case here. Robin’s skin is a sickly white, freckles stark in contrast. Ugly purple marks cover her throat and neck. Strangulation, from the looks of it. Nancy doesn’t want to imagine it.

Steve strokes Robin’s hair, the gentlest Nancy has ever seen him. Fresh tears have started running down his cheeks.

“Steve,” she starts, equally gentle, because how can she tell him this? How can she describe the sensation of having your whole world stopped, started, and stopped again?

“I know,” he says, not taking his eyes off Robin. “I’m ready.”

She wants to say, You can never be ready.

Instead, she nods, and taps one finger to Robin’s cheek.

The effect is instant. Robin gasps, eyes flying open, one hand automatically going to her throat.

Steve lets out a sob, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should’ve been there, I’m sorry—”

“Dingus,” Robin rasps, and she’s crying too. Nancy averts her eyes, a pang in her chest.

Hopper must decide to let them have their moment because nearly five minutes pass before he comes over. He asks Robin questions, the standard procedure, and Robin answers shakily, her hand held in Steve’s.

Robin didn’t fully see her attacker. It was a man, that much she knows. She’d managed to flee the initial attack but he’d caught up to her when she tried to lose him in the woods. She thinks he was less prepared because of it, but things are hazy. She remembers being pinned down, hands around her throat, and these cold, terrifying eyes. His face had been covered with only his eyes visible.

Hopper takes notes, frowning. Finally, the questioning comes to an end, Robin out of answers. His head slowly swivels to Nancy.

Steve’s still clutching Robin. They both look at her with a sad understanding on their faces.

“I’ll find him,” Steve says quietly, resting his forehead against the top of Robin’s head. “I’ll find whoever did this and I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.”

Robin just smiles sadly. She murmurs something too quiet for Nancy to hear, but she doesn’t miss the devastation that flits across Steve’s face.

They look at her expectantly, both clearly trying hard not to cry. They’re still holding hands.

Nancy can’t do it.

“Wheeler,” Hopper says, low, a warning.

“I can’t,” Nancy whispers. She knows what will happen if she lets Robin live. The same thing that happened when she couldn’t let Will die again, when she couldn’t let Eddie die again.

The universe rights its wrongs in its own way. If it can’t have its death, it will take another. When she’d brought Will back and kept him alive, a well-loved local, Benny Hammond, had died. When she’d let Eddie live, Jonathan and Will’s stepfather Bob had a heart attack out of nowhere. There’d been seemingly nothing to cause either death.

If she lets Robin live, someone else will die in her place.

The worst part is that Nancy finds she doesn’t care.

She can’t let Steve lose his best friend the way she lost hers. She can’t let this be the end of Robin’s life.

Kind, funny Robin, who has always been so full of life, so loved by everyone around her. Nancy’s never gotten the chance to really get to know her, but she’s always wished she had.

“I can’t,” she repeats, her voice steadier now. “I won’t. It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.” Hopper’s voice is kind. She doesn’t deserve it.

“I won’t do it. Steve—”

Steve looks stunned, a hopeful expression dawning on his face. Hopper looks at him and sighs.

“I can’t force you. But… well, on your own head be it.” He shakes his head. “I’m going back to the station. You’re causing me a lot of paperwork.”

As he leaves, Steve turns to her. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you—”

“As far as you’re concerned, Robin survived the attack.” Nancy keeps her voice steady, avoiding eye contact with both of them. “Robin…”

Robin’s eyes are on her. Curious, focused, like they’re studying her. Nancy swallows hard.

“Robin, you should avoid going anywhere alone for a while. If your attacker thinks you could identify him he’ll try and finish the job. I won’t be able to do this twice.”

Robin gives a short nod. “I’ll lay low for a while.”

Her voice is soft, raspy. Steve, maybe afraid Nancy might suddenly change her mind, thanks her one last time before helping Robin up and ushering her out.

Nancy watches their retreating backs, a heavy weight in her chest.

In the nicest way possible, she hopes she never sees Robin again.

#pushing daisies aus are so devastatingggggg #oh my GOD poor Nancy

[eskawrites]

not to lonely post on main (even though this isn’t even main) but between my gay fanfiction and my collective bargaining campaign I really do think I should be an absolute catch

#I’d fall in love with me #which I supposed is the most important thing #but it’d be nice if someone else did it too!

[eskawrites]

Something about little girls growing up.

#i love #oh my god i adore this #holly genuinely is the 'protect her at all costs' character i LOVE the lens of innocence in such a dark and violent world #i do genuinely love to imagine that sometime when holly is a teenager she and nancy are going to reconnect #and she'll be like 'hey nancy what was with all that scary stuff that happened when i was little' #and nancy will immediately flashback to all the times holly was there and clearly saw more than she was supposed to #but then they'll actually get to bond while talking about it #listen #it's entirely the cfdau and karen gets vecna'd fics' fault but i do love me some holly and nancy sister moments #anyway these parallels are insane and i love them so much great post op

[eskawrites]

next chapter of our hearts know deeper seasons than our memories is up nowwwwww! feat. one of my favorite conversations in the entire fic:

“Two things,” Max says when Nancy picks up the phone early one Wednesday morning. “First of all, when the hell are you coming back to New York?” Nancy stifles a yawn as she stirs sugar into her coffee. “Good morning to you, too, Max.” “Yeah, hi, whatever. Now answer the question—we haven’t seen you in ages.” “It’s only been a couple months. I’m filming.” “And I’m doing eight shows a week. Your point?” She rolls her eyes, biting back a smile. “What was the other thing?” “Oh, right. Can you believe Robin and Steve just got married without telling anyone?”

#1994 how i love you #ronance #nancy pov #celebrity fake dating au #ronance fic #also for the record i love this chapter's song so freaking much #i mean i love them all #but i listened to this on REPEAT last october when writing this fic

[eskawrites]

Was gonna edit the Nancy pov, but my roommate offered me an edible basically as soon as she got home and roughly half an hour later it hit me that I have only gotten 30ish hours of sleep this whole week and also I’m high, so my fun Saturday night plans are uhhhh watching YouTube until I fall asleep on the couch

#half a gummy should not be hitting this hard but I am suddenly a very sleepy girl #this has been a sleepier than usual week for sure #it’s okay I’m gonna treat myself to a dunkin run tomorrow morning and I’ll edit then

[eskawrites]

Nancy’s backstory from the TLOU Bill & Frank AU, written for @strangerthingsfemslashweek Day 6: Came Back Wrong

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Barbara “Barb” Holland/Nancy Wheeler, Barbara “Barb” Holland & Nancy Wheeler Characters: Nancy Wheeler, Barbara “Barb” Holland Additional Tags: barb dies!, dont read it if you dont want to read barb dying!, comphet, like a lot of nancy comphet tbh, Prequel, Backstory, Canon-Typical Violence, this takes place in my TLOU au but its not really in any way a TLOU au on its own, POV Nancy Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler-centric, the birth of a doomsday prepper Series: Part 2 of Every Thing That You’ve Done Summary:

Nancy swallowed hard, and told a secret that didn’t matter anymore to anybody but her. “There was a girl, once. When I was sixteen. But we didn’t… But she died.”

or

Nancy’s origin story from My Piece of Land.

Written for Stranger Things Femslash Week Day 6: Came Back Wrong.

#I am a simple woman #I see into dust by ao3 user titface #I reblog into dust by ao3 user titface #fic rec

[eskawrites]

i have not technically written any new scenes or anything but i did sort out 2k words of outlining which means the rest of the lethal company au is prettyyyy much completely outlined, and that absolute does count as writing

although i also want to actually write later so i'm taking a break now but come yell at me in a few hours if you don't see me posting about writing again lmao

#writing things #lethal company au #we are getting there #also i reread the whole thing so far and i liked it a lot better than i thought i would and now i am Excited again

[eskawrites]

i took the day off for no reason other than the fact that i wanted to, and i got a big ol' iced coffee and the lady at the window was laughing with her coworkers whenever she handed it to me, and i drove around town listening to florence and the machine with the windows down and got to see the crab apple trees starting to bloom, and now i'm back at my desk and i'm gonna chill and write and just enjoy myself, and basically what i'm saying is today is a good day

#it's a writing day which is always a good day #but it's an especially good one this time #writing things

[eskawrites]

Just read for probably the millionth time the Raise Dead Au and I once again felt the need to tell you how gorgeous that story is and how much I love it. I have reread your stories often bc I love them so much and as much as I adore the celebrity au there is something so painfully beautiful and fulfilling in Raise Dead so that is to me my number 1 always.

You talked about writing more for it maybe in the future and I really hope you will because I would be the happiest person ever.

Exploring the consequences of coming back to life and what happens after that is so interesting to me.

Either way I am gonna enjoy whatever you write tho bc you truly are a gifted writer and nobody manages to capture ronance better than you do in my opinion.

This is the loveliest message to wake up to, thank you friend <3 Also wild because I was just thinking about raise dead the other day and how much that story means to me. I’ve said it before but writing that fic and getting to see so many people respond to it in such a loving way was something that helped me in ways I couldn’t even fully understand or articulate at the time. It’s truly one of the most satisfying experiences I’ve ever had with fandom and with writing in general, and I am still honored and amazed and emotional every time I think about it <3

I do want to write more for it! But I also want to make sure that anything I write for it upholds the meaning and feeling of the original fic, y’know? There are a lot of plot things and conflicts and changes and stuff that would be fascinating to explore in that universe, many of which I do want to explore! But at the end of the day the raise dead au is a story about grief and love and devotion, and if any other one-shots or additions I write aren’t also about that, then what’s the point?

It’s all very interesting and slightly intimidating to think about, especially with how meaningful that story is to me and, incredibly, to some readers. So for now it sits on the back burner lol but I do want to return to it someday!

#but mostly thank you anon this truly was such a lovely thing to read first thing in the morning #💜💜💜 #asks #anon #raise dead #rdau #it truly is one of my most beloved ronance experiences #which is saying a lot because I am incredibly lucky to have so many beloved experiences in this fandom 💜

[eskawrites]

Work break doodles

#designer sunglasses tenar nancy!!! #you actually did it omg #I love #I’m cackling this is so good Rae #also robin got her the coffee #bc robin gets Nancy coffee every single day they’re on Erathia 4 #every. single. day #Nancy is like ‘oh my god Robin it was over a decade ago you don’t have to keep apologizing for missing our coffee date in Ireland’ #Robin nods along as she pushes the cup into her hands #Erathia #celebrity fake dating au #also Robin’s spunky lil lark braids ahhhh she’s so cute

[eskawrites]

@weedboi it’s just a silly lil ronance au that involves a very messy combination of stranger things and 1998 charmed canon asdflkjads it truly is a mess right now and i need to go back in and re-organize my outline, but also there are a handful of chapters and big plot-relevant scenes already written and i've been itching to get back into it for the last couple of days

Girl help I’m thinking about the charmed au again

#maybe after i finish lethal company au #which will hopefully be SOON #writing things #charmed au #there are simply too many wips what's a girl to do

[eskawrites]

Girl help I’m thinking about the charmed au again

#max robin siblings my beloved #Nancy and robin high school trauma bonded my beloved #charmed au

[eskawrites]

no nancy pov chapter today but there are new podfic chapters of this story that we found ourselves in from @hullomoon!! and tbh that is just as if not more exciting

#absolutely cannot wait to listen ahhhh #hullomoon #celebrity fake dating au #fic rec

[eskawrites]

Okay reblogging to stress vent one more time because like, the files it deleted were the ones that happened to be left open on my laptop and on any given day that could so easily have been the Nancy pov doc. And yeah sure at the end of the day I didn’t permanently lose anything (knock on wood) but just the idea of losing the Nancy pov makes me want to cry? Like dude it’s been months since I was writing that fic if I lost it I don’t know if I could do it again. and then what would happen??? Anyway I’m stressed as FUCK even though it is supposedly fine now. I stg if I have nightmares about losing files or some shit I’m gonna lose it

word randomly deciding to fuck with my files and screw up the saving process is going to give me a fucking heart attack

#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine #ahhh I hate this I am too tired and too emotional about this rn I need to go to bed