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applcrumbl · 10 months

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Seven Stages

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x Ex! Reader, JJ Maybank X Reader Warnings: Strong Language, Talk of Alcohol Author's Note: Do I smell a series? perhaps....

Summary: When your boyfriend Rafe leaves you for another woman, You find solace in JJ Maybank.

part i. shock.

There are 7 stages of grief. Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, and finally, Acceptance. After your boyfriend of a year broke up with you for no apparent reason at all, it felt as if you’d never get past stage 5.

When Rafe told you that it was over, it was a blow to the stomach. The initial impact knocked the wind out of your lungs and left you frozen to the spot. You knew what he was like, you should have seen it coming, but that didn’t mean you hurt less.

“I’m sorry” he explained, staring into your impassive eyes, “But, It’s what is best,”

“Is it someone else?” you asked, the question was engraved in your mind, though you were scared to ask it.

Rafe was taken aback, “Don’t you trust me?” He accused.

“Tell me the truth, and I’ll answer that”

He hesitated, “Yes”

You didn’t say anything more and instead went to bed.

In all honesty, it didn’t feel like it had actually happened, and when you woke up the next morning you made two plates of scrambled eggs and bacon. 3 slices for Rafe, the way you knew he liked it. It hadn’t quite occurred to you yet, that he hadn’t spent the night. The lonely half-hour at your family’s breakfast bar is what made that apparent.

The plate was thrown at the wall, and a string of curse words tumbled out. You ripped the chain from your neck, tiny golden links and a wildly expensive pendant scattered along the floor. Never one for material things, you felt no guilt at the action. Though part of you wished you just sold it, or donated it. Even kept it as something to give back to him later - an excuse to see him again.

Rafe’s things got thrown haphazardly into a cardboard box and left beside the front door. Some clothes, a set of cufflinks and his favourite polo shirt. Along with the gift you were set to give him on his upcoming birthday.

You called him that night. It was supposed to be a quick phone call saying that he could come to collect his things from your house, but transformed into a full-blown argument. Screaming down the receiver, you called him every derogatory name under the sun. At that moment, you hated Rafe Cameron.

“Stop calling me, Y/N.” he would say.

“Stop being such a dickhead, and just talk to me!” you begged, “Why?”

“Y/N”

“Please”

The dial tone sounded. A noise that became all too familiar.

The depression came in quickly and stayed a while. The previous stages had flown past in a whirlwind, and now you were left to wallow in your feelings. Much less angry with Rafe and his wandering eyes, and much more upset with yourself for not being good enough. By the time you managed to pull yourself out of your bed, the news of the breakup had spread throughout Figure 8. The cut heard soon after, almost like a celebrity break-up so the small island of Kildare. Gaggles of giggling girls all made faces at you as you passed. Each ready to get their hands on the islands newest, and richest, eligible bachelor. Talk of your ex boyfriend littered every teenage social spot. Kook and Pogue alike.

You tried to phone your best friend Sarah. But, she never answered the call. Probably choosing Rafe’s side in order to keep the peace at home. She was his sister after all. So you were entirely alone.

That was 3 months ago. It was a fresh new year.

You’d moved on, completely skipping the 6th stage and moving on to acceptance. Rafe didn’t want to be with you, and that was fine. It was his choice. Besides, had you never gone through those stages of grief, you wouldn’t be where you are now. Your new boyfriend tapping on the edge of the fridge.

“What do you wanna eat, Babe?” JJ asked, head peering from the kitchen.

“I’m not sure, what do we have in?”

With a hand resting on the top of the fridge, JJ peered inside. “Nothing interesting, I’ll go pick up something from the wreck then, yeah?”

“Your treat? Or am I just wishfully thinking?”

“I’ll pay you back in other ways?” he jokes, ghosting a kiss on your lips, “I love you.”

You rolled your eyes, giving him a sly smirk. You had money, he had none. But he made up for that in other ways, ways that Rafe never could. JJ left the house with another peck on your lips, almost tripping on the box that stayed gathering dust at the front door. Rafe’s things. Which he still hadn’t come to collect.

They didn’t bother you anymore, you were just eager to see them gone. After all, JJ and you were due to move to your own condo late that week, and nobody wants to move their girlfriend’s ex’s things into their house. It was bad enough that they still sat there. And it was bad enough that JJ couldn’t stand Rafe at the best of times.But, he put up with it, for he knew that she was 100% with him. That Rafe was no longer even a whisper on her mind.

The night was a relaxing one, Sarah had finally spoken to you, a rambled apology about her absence. You brushed it off, she had to pick a side, and after all, Rafe was still her brother.

“But I’m not even fond of Rafe,” she said, “There is no excuse for ignoring you like I did”

The phone call was long and comforting. You hadn’t spoken to many people since the breakup, at least not those who inhabited the rich southern side of the island. You spent your time with JJ’s small group of friends. Plus, you knew that Sarah was skipping out on a potential date with Topper to talk to you instead. You insisted that she could go if she wanted, but you could practically hear her eyes roll through the phone.

“Who’s there?” a familiar voice slurred in the background, “is that Y/N?”

“She doesn’t want to talk to yo-”

Sarah’s protests were cut off by the drunken man who had grabbed the telephone and promptly pressed it to his ear. You could hear her struggle to ge her phone back, but understood her plight, knowing all too well how stubborn her brother was.

“Y/N?” the voice asked. “Baby is that you?” Rafe practically pushed Sarah from the bed as he fought to keep possession of the phone. Both hands clutching it in desperation. As if it were to dissipate into thin air.

“Hi Rafe.”

It was the first time you had spoken to him since stage 3, and you were surprisingly calm.

“I’ve missed you so much” he cried, voice wavering from both a mixture of the booze, and his emotions, “I fucked up, baby. I need you”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“That doesn’t change anything,” he argued, the letters in his words melting together. It was barely understandable. He was very clearly inebriated, and for someone who could so easily hold his drink, it was almost worrying.

The front door opened again, the vinegary smell of fish and chips wafting through to your nose. “I’m home” JJ called

“Can you hand the phone back to Sarah now, I have to go see JJ” You excused. Part of you wanted to just hang up, but a bigger part wanted to say goodbye to Sarah. She deserved that.

“Maybank? That Pougue?” Rafe asked, sounding much soberer. Almost angry. “Why the fuck are you with him?”

“He’s my boyfriend, Rafe. Now can you hand the phone ba-”

Your words fell on empty ears, however, as Rafe thrust the phone back into Sarah’s hands. Clicking the end call button as quickly as he would have answered it.

There are 7 stages of grief. Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, and finally, Acceptance. After his ex-girlfriend had revealed the news that she’d moved on, with another man. Rafe started his cycle at stage 1.

#applcrumbl #writing #jj maybank #rafe cameron #jj maybank fluff #rafe cameron fluff #jj maybank imagine #rafe cameron imagine #jj maybank smut #rafe cameron smut #jj maybank x reader #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks

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misguidedasgardian · 8 months

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I need to (3)

... Set In

MASTERLIST

Summary: like they say, “out of sight, out of mind”, so you wanted to put an entire continent between you and Aemond

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: There are mentions of them being Minors! at some point in their relationship, cursing, cheating, angst, depression, underage drinking (in some countries), might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3.4 k

Notes: jaja! can’t wait for you to read it!

You didn’t remember life without Aemond or his family in it

And even though you were officially dating for only three years, you had known him for longer than that.

They say there were five stages of grief, and even if you accepted it or not, you were grieving your relationship with a guy you don’t remember living without

In campus and all around it, you lived through the first three

Denial

Anger

And bargaining

And when you got into the cruise with your godmother, you were hit like a truck by the fourth one

Depression

One of the two weeks of the cruise you’d spend in your cabin, throwing up, seasick, and crying.

You did your rituals…

You deleted all the pictures, all the messages, and in all social media, all of it

Aemond’s texts started pouring in when he went to look for you in your room and Maris told him unceremoniously that you were gone, for good, went to Winterfell University

There were A LOT of texts

He was going through something of his own

But you blocked him.

And then his brothers, which also contacted you, and then you just turn off your phone for the rest of the trip, after sending only one to your childhood friend

Jacaerys Velaryon

Telling him you were going to be there in Winterfell next semester, and how you’d love to see him

And then you turned it off

You didn’t believe he was going to answer you back

Jace, had been your best friend, he was your neighbor growing up, but at some point, when you started to date Aemond, he just drifted off away from you. Your relationship with Aemond wasn’t easy and he convinced you Jace was “completely in love with you like a puppy”, so, you cut him off, and he didn’t protest

You missed him

You hoped he’d forgive you

And then one day, you woke up, and actually joined your godmother and the Lannisters for breakfast, were you ate everything you hadn't in the past week

Waffles with syrup, bananas and strawberries

Small jam and cheese sandwiches

Orange juice from Dorne

Coffee from Ashford

You ate and drank it all

Under the Lannister’s amused gaze

It seemed like each nautical mile you sailed away from Dragonstone and King’s Landing, the better you felt, you were detaching, you were cleansing and you were healing

And it felt good

And you knew what else felt good?

It was election week, the primaries, and the Lannisters, the main supporters of Viserys Targaryen, were in that cruise with you

Your Godmother had convinced them to join you, in support of you, and they were entertained to see “what happens” when they, the famous Lannisters, are not in king’s Landing for the most important political week of the year

You guessed mayhem, concern and worry, and perhaps the liberals taking power finally, without the Lannister’s money to support the conservatives

Tyland and Jason were convinced everyone was freaking out, and it was true, their cellphones hadn't stopped ringing all week, the Red Keep was in disarray

“We are all in this cruise, if this shit sinks, the entire economy of the seven united states of westeros goes to shit”, Tyland laughed, and you laughed as you zipped on your juice

“I’m happy to see the little one up and about”, said Jason, they were idiots, but they meant well, they were your godmother’s family, him, their wives and children, all so blonde they could blind you

“She is a little lioness”, muttered your godmother, arranging a wild lock of your hair behind your ear, “who is paling, darling, you need to take some sun”

“Its winter godmother”, you said, amused

“That is what the winter deck if for sweety”, yes, a covered deck with a heated pool and magnificent glass to bake like an ant under a lens

Your godmother knew what you needed, she had been through some of the same, doubling your age, she had seen and lived things… so she let you

She let you slip shots and then take the stage at the karaoke bar with Jason to horribly sing, butchering your favorite rap songs, until you learned them all

She let you eat as much calories as you needed, chocolate above all, the girls at the chocolate shop of the cruise knew you by name

She let you cry and accompanied you in those beautiful and chaotic movie nights where they only played cheesy rom coms

She let you do the “Sea Snake” bit on the bow of the ship, screaming, “I’m on top of the world”, even though you were at sea level, the lowest point ever

And finally, she online shopped with you to buy you an entire new winter closet, because you were going to need it, you were going North, as cold as it gets

She even looked at Northerners real estate, she wanted to buy a small (huge) cabin, for you and her, you for next year, near campus and a sky center, and for her to visit you

Turns out they were such things as “retail therapy”, or “comfort food”. but your favorite part was when she went with you to the cruise’s “built-a-bear” store, where she made you a wolf plushie, a gray wolf dressing in clothes with the colors of WU, you felt like you just went back a few years, that you were child again

And it felt nice, knowing that you could be taken care of

You needed that

You never felt that way with… the unmentionable

it was also funny because you took the Lannister’s kids, Tyland’s children and they were just so messy, jumping around, throwing everything in their path, throwing the white stuffing at each other… and seeing the face of your godmother was just so funny and cute

And the part you felt most guilty for… was that Viserys had lost the primaries.

He was still on the race, he went second

But you knew he wanted the presidential, and as mayor of the most important state, you knew he could do it, those were next year

Anyways, that was not your problem, even though the Lannister were boasting on “what happens when the lion is not in the den”

And the peace of mind that brought you not having your cellphone on you, that you could focus on the important things

You didn’t even know what was happening outside that huge boat

Maybe the world had burnt up, and you wouldn’t tell until you arrived at White Harbor, perhaps Essos attackedWesteros with a nuclear head, and that was it

You couldn’t care less

You didn’t even know that a world was imploding, only not the ENTIRE world as is.

It turns out Maris had the right idea and you did scorch the earth

Only you didn't know

The week in White Harbor was quick as well, the Lannisters couldn’t keep themselves out of the political career forever and abandoned the trip to go back to King’s Landing, but you and your godmother kept traveling

One week of a big hotel with spas on it, and you went to the Pentosi hot bathrooms so much you were scared your skin was going to peel off

And then…

Suddenly school started in three days and you were on a train to Winterfell

It was the middle of winter, and your godmother couldn’t pry you off of the panoramic windows in the big train, it was all tundra, snowy mountains and frozen lakes, and you loved it, all of it, and then, after one entire day of traveling

There it was

The view was breathtaking

The whole of Winter’s town, the capital of the North, was in a huge valley, rumor has it that underground water thermals ran under it, so it was a big green valley, even in the middle of winter, it was like a microclimate

The train entered the city trough one of the biggest mountains around it, giving you the entire view

You could see the University from where you were

The seven greatest universities in all of Westeros were once castles, castles of the Kings that ruled those lands, preserved for the use of the new generations of students.

It was an honor, for you in particular, for having study, now in two of them

“The truck with your things, the new ones and the old ones is in campus” your godmother muttered beside you, you are going straight to the school”, she said with a reassuring smile

You looked down at yourself

You were using the oversized jersey that Ben gave you, and some jeans and boots, for the cold

“You look… inappropriate, is not proper for you to wear those things, (y/n), the first impression is the most important one, and you have to look presentable, and serious”

You had to look back because you were certain Aemond was whispering things into your ear, like a freaking ghost

You looked at the plushie your godmother had gifted you and you felt silly for getting one, you were eighteen, not a little girl and…

You were so confused

“You look lovely dear”, she said, waking you up from your stupor, she sometimes could read your mind, “is your first day, moving day, back from winter break, is perfectly fine”, she said sincerely

He was no longer in your life

You needed to remember yourself of that

You were eighteen and your closet looked like the one of a grandmother, you had to hide your jeans from Aemond

He is no longer in your life

You were free to do as you liked and pleased

You took a long breath

He was not with you, he was not watching you, and even if it was, he didn’t get a saying anymore

He didn’t

Your godmother dropped you off in her rental car and the goodbye was long, but she understood your need to do this on your own, so she went to the headmaster’s office, according to her, it was an old friend of hers, and then, she left you, in front of your dorm building, next to the truck that brought the few boxes of your things in them

When you grabbed the last of the boxes out of the truck, you felt a sense of calm, of tranquility, you felt like finally you could breathe freely, when you turned around and you looked over the campus all dressed in autumn

You felt the fresh air entering your lungs and you knew you had made the right decision. You couldn’t smell the sea, or the fish, or hear the seagulls, instead, pure fresh air coming from frozen tundra and mountains.

This is where you should be

“Hey you!”, you turned around with a wide smile as you saw Jacaerys Velaryon approaching you

“Jacey!”, you said. It sounds weird but Jace was Aemond’s nephew, son of his way older sister from his father's first marriage. And you were so surprised to see him. You dropped the box and he held to you tight, like no time has passed, like he still was your best friend

And that hug felt so good

You needed it

Apart from your godmother you didn't think you had embraced someone for a long time…

Aemond was jealous, and wouldn’t let anyone near you

You shook your head as you hid in Jace’s neck

“You never answered me back!”, he laughed, and you finally separated as he looked at your teary eyes, you were so happy and excited. “I was so excited when I got that text from you, I answered immediately and you didn’t answer!”

“Sorry, I turned off my phone I was… going through something”, you whispered

“Oh I heard”, he said, and you shared looks, he was entertained, while you were petrified

“What things?”, he laughed, scratching the back of his neck, then he leaned in and picked your box off the ground

“Let me help you with that”, you were such good friends that you had planned, together, to attend Winterfell University back in Highschool, he went on with his plans, wanting to stand out of his family’s shadow and live a little adventure, fly off the nest as it were, just like you wanted to do, he had succeeded first try.

“That requires a coffee, or maybe a very large drink”, he laughed and you hissed

“How bad is it?”, you asked

“You were brought up a LOT in the family dinners over the holidays, lets just say you are not on the list for a christmas card anymore”, you both started to go inside the building, with a huge cart with all your stuff

“A friend lives in this dorm”, jace said smiling shyly as you looked around, amazed, it was huge, amazing

The campus was great from what you could see, every career had his own department, and the dorms where a few blocks away, all together

“I’m so happy you are here”, he seemed relieved, he couldn’t stop looking at you, “I love the spirit”, he said signaling to your jersey, you only laughed, “you look different”

“Different how?”, you asked

“Better”, he said, “like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders or something, I guess that’s what happened”

He and Aemond had never gotten along, ever, they hated each other for some reason, maybe because Jace’s mom was like the black sheep of the family and had broken ties with them, money and privilege included, she also followed a career in politics, but as a liberal, that was something, and she married Jace’s father Harwin, someone who didn’t have a membership in King’s Landing country club, and that was saying something.

You wouldn’t know, perhaps it was because of all the alpha male and all that.

But he seemed genuinely relieved, that you were here, and you had broken off with Aemond, because you truly cared for one another

“I’m happy to be here too”, you confessed, with a reassuring smile, “just like we planned all those years ago”, you giggled

“Let get you settled in, and afterwards I will take you to meet everyone”, he said, and you nodded enthusiastically

“Since is my first year I have to stay in campus”, you told him, as you started walking, he followed you of course

“That is cool, living here was great! though since is my second semester went to live with a friend a couple of blocks away in a cool apartment”

“That amazing!”, you whispered, and he smiled tenderly at you. “Who is everyone by the way?”

“Well, for starters, my roommate, you are going to like him, he is one of the coolest guys you will ever meet, and then there is Tallheart…”

“Ben?”

“You know him?”, he asked

“Thanks to him that I’m here!”, you cheered and he smiled, and suddenly you were out of the elevator and in front of your new room

“Sarah Snow”, you whispered, reading the name at the door

Oh this girl had gotten a single from the first semester, and now she was getting a roommate, she was going to HATE you, but you had to suck it up, with Jace here, and the prospect of new friends, you could totally spend more time off your room, you would try to bother her the least you could

You missed the entertained look Jace gave you, he just left the cart and took a step back

So you knocked twice and opened the door slowly, giving her time to react to your arrival, once you could look inside the room, a girl with dark brown hair and beautiful icy blue eyes jumped of the seat in her desk with open arms

“ROOMIE!”, she cheered, and ran towards you and engulfed you in a tight hug, you screeched at the sudden of it all but returned the hug. “I’m so happy you are finally here!”, she said releasing you as quickly as she hugged you, “look, I put everything in order, cleaned your corner!”, she said, showing you around, you indeed had your part of the room, even if it was blank, it was spotless. “I’m Sarah!”, she said looking at you with a huge smile. You introduced yourself back

“I’m happy to be here!”, you offered with a wide smile as you looked at your new room, it had a bigger window, but the size was ultimately the same

“I was so happy when they told me I got a roommate, you know, it gets lonely in this big room you know”, she spoke like ten words per second, but you loved her already, she had such a good vibe about her

You looked back at Jace and he was just looking at Sarah with a shy smile

“Jacey! what are you doing here?”. she giggled, “don’t tell me you are pulling all the stops already with the new girl?”, she teased

“No, we go way back”, he said, and Sarah shrieked

“That is so incredible, such a small world uh?”, she giggled, as she went to Jace and took the box off him

“Now let us have some girls time”, she teased and you smiled widely at him

“See you both at seven then? you’ll meet everyone”, you shook your head, so excited

“Sure”, you said at the same time, and he left you, scratching the back of his neck, you both looked at each other and smiled

“What’s the story there?”, you asked at the same time and laughed

While she helped you unpack, and hang posters and pictures, you talked about the things you could share and use from the other, and you found yourself thinking Sarah was an old friend, that is how it felt like

The clock turned seven and she grabbed your hand and went to “the tavern”, an amazing underground palace that served from coffees to the coolest drinks and locally made beer

There he was Jace with a group of friends

Sarah had told you Jace was good friends with his brother, he went to live together, and you loved that for Jacey, and Sarah and him… well… Jace was shy and Sarah was too, at least with guys, and she thought he was flirting, but he was also intimidating by her brother, it was a whole things, so you agreed to help her, to scout the field as it where

“She is my friend from King’s Landing”, introduced Jace

“my roommate!”

You looked around the room and you smiled greatly when you recognized two familiar faces, Baela and Rhaena. They got up and hugged you tightly, they were Aemond’s cousins, Jace’s… aunts? weird family

“This is my first success story!”, chanted Ben, and he introduced you to his girlfriend, Alysanne Blackwood, a beautiful girl tall as a model, they both were a sophomore

“Jon Dustin”, he kept introducing

“Where is my annoying brother?”, asked Sarah, looking around

“Oh he had some last minute things to do”, said Jace, “but no matter”.

You don’t remember a time in which you hadn't had so much fun, continuously

No shady comments about what you said, or did, nor angry, disappointed gazed towards you, you drank beer, and laughed your face off

Ben was a good representative but you ate ribs, french fries and drank beer.

And it was only the first night ever.

And when you were unsuccessfully trying to wipe barbecue sauce of the edges of your lips, you felt another figure approaching, you looked up and made eye contact with a tall man, dark hair, piercing blue eyes that scanned the table and then looked down at your sauce covered face

“There you are, you bastard!”, mocked Jace, “the semester is not even on yet and you are already to the neck in paperwork”

“what can I say, I like to keep myself busy”, you kept looking up at him, and his eyes never left yours, they were a glacier blue, mesmerizing really, “and who’s this?”, he asked

“I’m (y/n)”, you introduced yourself with your hand all coated in barbecue sauce just as your face

Not your finest moment

more notes: Alright, at first i didn't want Cregan to show up, but then I thought I was just going to be too cruel... so, there it is, not everyone meets trough a "meetcute", sometimes it is when you least expect it... so... there it is...

Its so hard to create out of the tip of my tongue the "ASOIAF" similars with things fromt he real world... like... when reader sang rap songs I imagined her singing "WIthout me" from Eminem jaajja, or I imagined making referenes from Jackie Kennedy and Marilyn, and all... ANYWAYS JAJA i hope it sounded just as cool like that...

taglist! ❤️

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff @misspascalpunk @sweethoneyblossom1 @ipostwhtifeel @lunamoonbby @ahristata @watercolorskyy @yazzzmints @n4tforlife @littleshadow17 @alexa4040 @speedyballoonpainter @hc-geralt-23 @rayrayredpanda @eralen

#misguidedneed #aemond x reader #cregan stark x reader #cregan x y/n #cregan x reader #cregan #cregan stark #misguidedsays #hbo house of the dragon #house of the dragon #modern!au #house of the dragon modern au

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hischierswhore · 1 year

Text

want you back

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: Mentions of a breakup // cursing

A/N: my first fic! i feel like this wasn’t too bad for my first time

read part 2 here

3 months ago you got broken up with by the man you thought was the love of your life, Mason Mount. Well, you were on a ‘break’ as Mason had called it, but neither of you had spoken to the other in months, so you considered it a break up.

In the months following said ‘break’ , you went through all the stages of grief repeatedly, relapsing several times, but it eventually got to a point where you just couldn’t continue torturing yourself with the thought of him.

The whole basis of your breakup was because Mason claimed that your relationship was “a distraction” to his career, and that it was “negatively affecting his performance”. He wanted a break, but he never bothered to reach out after your final moment together.

As a result of his claims, you practically vanished from your mutual friends lives. They were certainly aware of the breakup, but they never knew any of the details as to what truly occurred that night. They’d called on more than one occasion to see how you were doing, and if you needed anything. You were beyond grateful to have them in your life.

Those 3 months were probably the hardest of your entire life. Though you still didn’t feel ready to see Mason, you were finally at the point of accepting it & moving on. Were you still madly in love with the man that broke your heart into pieces? Absolutely, but you wouldn’t let him know that.

That was 3 months ago, though. You were currently on your way to your favorite coffee shop in London to finish a few assignments you had pending.

You inhaled the delightful scent of cinnamon & freshly brewed coffee as you entered the small building. You set your bag down at your usual booth & went to order your drink.

Moments later, you came back to your seat and began working, only to be interrupted by someone taking a seat in-front of you. You looked up to see none other than Mason Mount.

Your eyes must’ve popped out of their sockets at the sight, as you were certainly not expecting to run into him anytime soon.

“Can I help you?” You questioned as you went back to working on the assignment. You heard him lightly cough before he actually spoke.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You didn’t bother to spare him another look as you continued working.

“It most certainly has” You replied dryly, not wanting to converse with him at this moment.

“What’ve you been up to?” He asked nonchalantly.

"Well, I’ve been busy avoiding you since I’m such a distraction, but that seems to have gone out the window, hasn’t it?” You looked at him as you set your pen down, a sarcastic smile spreading across your face. You watched as his slight smile dropped.

“Y/n… I didn’t mean it like that” He spoke before you interjected.

“You didn’t mean it like what, Mason?“ You moved your hands to your chin, holding your head up.

“Listen, I didn’t mean all the things I said. When I said I wanted a break, I didn’t want you out of my life for good” He explained

“And you think I wanted you out of mine? You never once reached out to ask if I was okay, Mason. Did you even realize that I gave up my social life, just so I could give you the space you needed?” You could tell he was at a loss for words.

“Bloody hell, Mason, our friends have checked on me more than you even did throughout the entirety of this whole thing” You whisper-shouted as you gestured between the two of you. Mason looked as if he was processing everything you were saying.

“And I’m so sorry for that, Y/n. I should’ve reached out to you, especially when I sprung that all on you with no warning” He contemplated reaching for your hand but decided against it.

“Yeah, you should’ve” You went back to working as he just sat there in silence.

“What do you even want, Mason?”

“You. I want you back” His sudden confession causing you to pause your writing and look up at him once again, that same wide-eyed look making a comeback.

“You’ve GOT to be fucking kidding me”

“I made a huge mistake, Y/n. You weren’t the distraction at all; it was me. I was the problem. My head was all over the place and I was being irrational. These past few months have been hell without you, and I know it’s my fault. I sincerely miss having you in my life” He pleaded with you.

“Mason… I don’t know-”

“It doesn’t have to be immediate. Take all the time you need to think about it” He came through and actually grabbed your hand, immediately missing the physical contact.

“Like I said, I don’t know. It took me so long to finally accept that this was how we ended, and now for you to suddenly reappear and want me back just makes it so much more difficult” You pulled your hand back from his, setting it in-front of you. Mason nodded his head in understanding.

And with a simple “nice to see you again”, you packed your bag up and left the little coffee shop. As you walked down the sidewalk, you truly thought about what Mason had said.

As much as you still had love for the boy, you didn’t want to jump back into things with him, only to get your heart broken once more. Seeing him today only made things worse, causing you to fall for the boy once again.

Good god, Mason Mount. What have you done?

part 2 linked at top!

#✎ natalie writes #mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount angst #mason mount x you #mason mount x y/n #mason mount imagine #mason mount fanfic

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lou-struck · 9 months

Text

Bribery

Kei Tsukishima x reader College AU!

Prompt: study date +🍩

~Studying with Tsukki is hardcore, he always know just what to do to keep you motivated

WC: 2k

~This is one of the requested prompts for My Emoticon Expression’s Event; check out the masterlist on my welcome page

“You’re wrong; try it again.” Your boyfriend curtly says as he peers down at the study guide you have worked on for the last three hours. At times like this, you are thankful the two of you booked a private study room in the university’s library because you have not been watching your volume in the slightest.

“Are you sure?” You sigh exasperatedly. “I really thought this one was gonna be right.”

“Well, it’s not; you need to go back and check your work.” He replies, sliding the paper back over to you; it is completely covered in angry red pen marks from his corrections. It’s a bit discouraging, but you know he is only being hard on you because he knows how badly you want to pass this class.

His features soften as he looks at you apologetically. “you’ve got this, just take your time and break down the problem into parts.”

“I’m just tired; my brain feels like it’s not working.” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “Maybe I should just accept that I’m going to fail and skip the other stages of grief.”

“Not going to happen,” he laughs, using his taped fingers to give your forehead a fick. It doesn’t hurt at all, but you and your dramatic self flinch and whine “Owww” just to get a rise out of him.

“Oh really?” he asks, looking down at you through his glasses, “if that hurts, just imagine how you will feel when you miss out on that internship you have been wanting due to your grades.”

You freeze; you have heard about the internship he had mentioned since freshman year of college. Not only is it a paid internship, but if you were to take it, you would get credit for about four classes that you need to graduate. If you miss out on this, you will probably regret it for the rest of your student life. “Why did you have to bring that up? Now I’m stressed, tired, and hungry.”

He looks at you with amusement; teasing you is one of the highlights of his day. “You’re hungry?”

You cross your arms over your stomach for effect, “Starved, haven’t you heard my stomach growling?”

“Over your whining?” he teases, raising a brow.

“I-it’s not funny,” you stammer, “this is a real predicament; I can’t study on an empty stomach; we may be here all day at this rate.”

He sighs, his golden brown eyes betraying a softness that tells you that you have won. “Fine, if you are sure this is the only way to get you to finish your worksheet, I guess I have no choice.” he relents, getting up from his seat at the table and grabbing his wallet out of his book bag. He turns and points at you strictly, “Stay right there, and If you are not done with that worksheet by the time I get back, I’ll just give it to someone else.”

“Are you trying to bribe me to finish this worksheet?” you grin, giving him your best look of innocence that he doesn’t buy at all.

“Just get it done,” he says, turning towards the door and opening it quietly.

“I love you,” you call after him. He smiles and turns to walk down the hallway; just before the door swings shut, you hear a chorus of sharps’ shhhhhhhh’s’ from the studying students from the other side of the library. It makes you chuckle to yourself as you stare down at your angry red-streaked paper and try to figure out what you did wrong in that last problem.

It’s only been about eight minutes since your boyfriend went to get you some fuel, and your stomach is busy grumbling the instrumentals of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Your quiet study room is lonely, but you have managed to figure out what you had done wrong with the last problem, and to the best of your knowledge, it is correct this time. All you have to do is wait for Mr. Vanilla himself to come back and check over your work for you.

Curiously you flip to the next page in your workbook; if you can bust through a few more problems before Kei gets back, it would mean that you can leave the library much sooner, and maybe the two of you can make it to the Jurassic Park movie marathon in the quad you had seen posters for. It would be such a great surprise to take him there after this is all said and done.

Buying him a large tub of popcorn is only one of the ways you are planning on thanking your Volleyball-playing s/o for taking so much time out of his busy day to help you study.

With sunset in about four hours from now, you return to your work; this deadline gives you a much-needed spring in your step as you begin to get back to work.

The analog cock on the wall says that about another ten minutes have passed, and without your boyfriend’s presence, you haven’t been too motivated to finish any other problem other than the one he told you to do. They have been attempted, but you have only split the problems into smaller fragments so you can better understand them later,

‘Maybe I should’ve taken better notes in class.’ you think to yourself when your boyfriend comes back into the study room.

“Hey, you were gone for a while. Was the line at the cafe long?” you ask, tilting your head.

“In not heartless, you deserve something way better than the trash the cafe has to sell,” he says, stepping up to the table. The throw pillow-sized brown paper box in his hand just catches your eye when your nostrils are suddenly hit with a sweet and doughy smell that has your mouth watering.

“I bet you’re wondering what is inside?” he smirks, placing the box on the table; you reach out for the strangely familiar scent only for him to push it further out of your reach.

“Hey?” you whine. “Why did you have to do that?”

“Ha, Let’s see your work first, then I’ll decide if you actually get to have any of this.”

“Jerk,” you huff, tearing your gaze away from the box to look at his face. A dark mole on the corner of his mouth catches your eye. Curiously, you lean in a bit closer and realize that it’s not a mole at all...

It’s chocolate!!!

“Wait,” you say softly, never taking your eyes off the little speck of fudge on his cheek, “is that frosting on your face?”

With his thumb, he wipes it quickly away; as he licks his thumb, he looks at you evilly, “What? Someone had to make sure they weren’t poisonous.”

You sigh and turn away from him, arms crossed and a pout on your lips. “Just look at my damn paper already.”

“If you insist,” he grins, staring deep into your eyes. “Just know that if you take too long, your food will get cold.” The harmless threat shakes you down to the depths of your soul as he looks at you with gentle satisfaction. He slides the paper closet to him, and his eyes dart between your answer and your work before he looks up at you with a blank expression.

You gulp nervously as you try and fail to read his expression. Mentally cursing the fact that Kei Tsukishima has one of the best poker faces you have ever seen. “So? What do you think?”

“I think,” he hums, reaching out towards the mysterious treat box with long arms. He rests his hand on top of it before sliding it across the table in front of you. “You got it right.”

Your chest heaves a deep sigh in relief. Unable to take the suspense any longer, you toss o[into the box to reveal dozens of little doughnut holes.

Some look to be covered in glaze, chocolate, or frosting. While others look to be filled with various creams, jellies, or something else.

“Doughnuts.” you cheer, picking a chocolate-covered sprinkle out of the box and plopping it into your mouth. The still-warm dough seems to melt on your tongue as the sugar makes you feel alive.

As you savor the treat, he places some napkins in front of you. “Are you happy now?”

You nod and wipe your fingers with one of the napkins. “Extremely. What are all the flavors?”

“I dunno.” he says, “The shop was closing soon, so they just gave me a bit of everything for no charge.”

“That’s great; I can’t wait to find out,” you say, reaching for another donut hole only for it to be pushed out of your reach.

Upon seeing the look of confusion on your face, he laughs, “Did you really think it would be that easy? It’s a bribe.”

You look at the box longingly, “You don’t mean?”

“I do; every problem you get right, you get to have a piece.

“You can be so cruel sometimes, Kei.” you sigh, earning a genuine smile from him, flipping to the next page; the little bits of work you had done earlier are starting to make more sense as you look flip between the notes Tsukki left on your other page and the fresh problems.

“How are you doing?” he asks, looking over your shoulder,

“Does this look right so far?” you ask, pointing to the nearly complete problem.

“It looks perfect.” he hums, glancing over it carefully.

“Really?” you say with a light voice full of hope. Maybe the two of you will be able to make it to the Movie marathon after all.

“Yep, just keep doing what you are doing.” he says, “I told you before that you know how to do this.”

Only because I have the best tutor in the world, “you hum cheesily, leaning in a bit closer to him.

The tips of his ears turn pink at your world, and he looks at the box of donuts, “You’re not trying to get me to give you a donut early, are you?” he asks sarcastically.

“Nope, I want something else.” you hum, pushing yourself forward to catch his lips with your own. The kiss contains the lingering sweetness of the pastry you had just eaten, along with something a bit sweeter.

He kisses back far too eagerly for someone who had been relentlessly teasing you just a few moments ago. You pull back slightly and grin as he follows your lips stubbornly.

“Do you think you’re being funny?” he asks, placing his hand on the back of your head to keep you close to him.

“Just a bit; I have to tease you when I can since you are so good at teasing me.” you hum, giving him a devious smirk like the one he gave you earlier.

“You’re such a pain,” he chuckles, gently retaking your lips.

“But you love me,” you hum as he pulls away. A small smile tugs at his lips

“I do, which is why I can’t have you getting distracted,” he sighs, tapping your worksheet with his pen. “Let’s get back to work.

“You know, you could’ve just bribed me with kisses,” you tease, picking up your pencil. “They work just as well as the donuts.”

“Now you tell me,” he sighs. “If I knew earlier, I could’ve saved myself the effort of picking these up.”

“Nope, we need those too.” you laugh as you reach for the box.

With a gently yet firm grip, he grabs your hand and shakes his head, “Not so fast; get that problem done, and then you can have one.”

“Come on, just one more?” you plead at him with big eyes, “I need all the help I can get if I want to finish in time.”

“Time for what?” he asks, raising a brow. “Did you really make plans after this?”

“Plans for us,” you say innocently. “Please?”

“Fine, just one more,” he sighs. “But then we have to get back to work.”

#haikyuu!!#kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #hq x reader #hq #x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff

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leikeliscomet · 6 months

Text

“But We Love Martha Jones!” - The Doctor Who Fandom’s Selective Memory of Racism

Chapter 1 - Everybody Hates Martha

Contrary to now popular Whovian belief, no, the fandom didn’t like Martha at first. In fact, most Martha praise wouldn't come until years after her exit. The issue came from the “Rose shadow” of RTD1. Rose’s traumatic exit hit Ten like a truck and this echoed throughout The Runaway Bride. The episode beautifully covers the stages of grief; his denial as he forgets he can’t have another Christmas on the Powell Estate; his anger at the Racnoss; his bargaining as he reminisces good times with Rose; his depression knowing her can’t get her back and eventual acceptance - ending the episode with a solemn “her name was Rose”. On paper, this was the perfect closure Ten needed for Rose and a lovely way to say goodbye to her even in her absence. But her shadow still covered the rest of S3 and S4. And not in a good way.

From the jump Ten tells Martha she could never replace her but mind you, Martha never claimed she would, but the fandom acted like she did and was. Her presence is mentioned throughout S3: the “not that you’re replacing her” in Smith and Jones; the “Rose would know” in Shakespeare Code; Ten taking Martha to the New New York slums in Gridlock when Rose got “glitter and cocktails”; the ink drawing of Rose popping out of Ten’s subconscious through John Smith in Human Nature/Family of Blood to Jack and Ten’s convo about her in Utopia to even the Master in Last of the Time Lords, calling Martha useless for not absorbing the Time Vortex like a certain companion. Can you guess who she is? Martha to this day is the only companion to be treated as the rebound to a previous companion and this bled into the fandom. Despite Donna’s growth in Partners in Crime working so well because of her growth after The Runaway Bride, it was still a common sentiment to “wish we went straight from Rose to Donna”. The S4 writing didn’t help Martha’s case either. Ten tells Donna about the crush and other “complications” while conveniently leaving out the mixed signals he sent to her. Plus, he admits his mistakes to well… Donna, and not to Martha’s face despite sharing three whole episodes with her. Martha spent those episodes being a host to a Sontaran clone and being kidnapped by the Hath so the “I’m sorry for underestimating you and comparing you to my previous companion, Martha Jones” never came out of Ten’s mouth. The show’s insistence on Martha as the “failed Rose replacement” gave the fandom great excuses to attack her and welcome a mountain of bad faith criticism that haunts Martha Jones discussions to this day.

It doesn’t matter Martha saved the Doctor with CPR in her debut episode, used the Gamma Strike to defeat the pig men on the spot, saved John Smith, Joan and the rest of the village from the Family of Blood despite how racist they all were towards her, came up with the right word to banish the Carrionites on the spot, got the DNA sample needed from Lazarus and distracted him for Ten, got the 42 crew to dump the sun particles in the fuel, warned Ten about Yana’s watch and most importantly, stayed alive in one of humanity’s most hellish years to restore the Doctor and defeat the Master - she was incompetent.

It doesn’t matter Martha never attacked, belittled or actually insulted Rose but was rather tired of being put down for her instead, or the fact Rose within minutes of seeing Martha said “I was here first” and “Who is she?” with disgust - Martha was jealous and bitter.

It doesn’t matter Ten kissed her for a DNA sample despite her cheek, forehead and hand being available, knew about Martha’s crush and still acted oblivious post-Smith and Jones, hugged her then blamed her for said hug, lied to her about Gallifrey but told Rose the truth in her 2nd episode, called her a novice and literally screamed in her face in Utopia - Martha 100% to blame for the failed TenMartha friendship but not our unproblematic fave Ten.

It doesn’t matter Ten was willing to protect and travel with Donna in The Runaway Bride minutes after losing Rose and Eleven having no issue welcoming Clara after watching another version of her, Amy and Rory die in front of him - Martha had to be belittled by Ten because of grief.

It doesn’t matter Rose and Donna, then Amy and Clara in the Moffat era would need supernatural intervention to gain their titles, or that Rose and Donna needed Ten’s help a few times in their series - Martha had no agency.

It doesn’t matter Ten fell in love with Rose, Madame de Pompadour, Joan Redfern, Queen Elizabeth I, River Song, Astrid Peth AND Lady Christina, or RTD1’s insistence of (heterosexual) romance being the most human trait of humanity (which is a whole other conversation) - Martha’s romantic feelings were a flaw she needed to correct.

It doesn’t matter Rose, Amy and Clara would fall in love with the Doctor to the point of being willing to abandon their families for him, forcibly kissing him or trying to be him - Martha was the clingy one. It doesn’t matter Professor Yana’s drumbeat began before he met the gang because it was Martha’s fault the Master came back too apparently. Remember little Tim Latimer stealing the fob because it was reaching out to him? The fans didn’t because Martha was blamed for losing the fob too! Martha’s not a flawless person but it can’t be denied Martha was critiqued for moments that were out of her control. From various nuanced plot points where she was a victim of circumstance to lacking hindsight she literally couldn't have had because she wasn’t in S1/S2, to being disliked for doing the exact same things her white female counterparts did, it’s highly unlikely the Martha Hate Train was born from constructive criticism.

<- Intro Chapter 2 ->

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firstdivisiongirl · 7 months

Note

HIIII sorry if you’ve already done this but could you do a ace x fem angst where she’s a mizu mizu no mi user and she’s going through all the 5 stages of greif but can you add revenge

THANK YOU XOXO 😁😁😁😁😁

Hi. I have not done anything like this before. I’ve been kind of obsessed with the thought of Ace having a s/o who is a water user. So I’m so thrilled that you sent this in. It’s a weird set up, but it’s for a reason. I hope you enjoy it!

WARNING: Angst, Spoilers, Mentions of depression

(Ace x Fem Reader) Waves of Grief

Denial.

He was going to come back. You knew it! That was just a joke. That’s what you told yourself. You would go to your favorite spot in the crows nest every day and wait. He was coming up to spend time with you. Right?

Anger.

You wish he’d just listen to Pops and let Teach go. He was such an idiot. He should have controlled his anger. He should have ignored Akainu and ran. But of course he couldn't because he was so dense. He wasn’t the only one you hated. You wished they would have stopped him every step along the way. You wished you had convinced him to stay!

Revenge.

You wanted to go after them ALL! Akainu. Blackbeard. You wanted to make them suffer like you. You knew you could. You were water. And that was a Devil Fruit’s weakness. You created a plan. You had started making preparations. You had found their current locations. You were ready to avenge his death. Until, Marco stopped you from going.

Bargaining.

What if I went with him? What if this, what if that. You prayed and prayed that he would come back. There were so many ifs. You wished you could be sent back to change it all. And if you were, you would be the best girlfriend and daughter in the world.

Depression.

Emptiness was all you felt. You wanted to do nothing. Not without Ace. He might have been fire, but opposites attract. Without him, you felt like there was no place to call home anymore. Nothing made you happy. You were numb. Everyone tried to help you, but nothing helped you feel better.

Acceptance.

He was gone. You knew that. It still hurt, but it was time to go on. Not because you didn’t love him. You did it because that’s what he would want his favorite girl to do. As you sailed on the ocean, in his striker he so loved. You still knew he was there, but in spirit. As you moved the striker with your water, you remembered his dying words. The ocean continues to move even when everything seems hopeless. Be the ocean. Continue to move. Thank you for loving me Y/N.”

Please do not copy, modify, translate, or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

#one piece #trafalgar d vivi #portgas d. ace #fire fist ace #ace one piece #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace x you #portgas d ace x y/n #portgas d ace x you #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace angst

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dearest-painter · 10 months

Text

A vampire’s true love PT.2

Summary:A widow and a father is the life of Spider-Vamp or Y/N O’Hara. When going to earth-1610 by pure accident and meeting his brand new lover he goes home happy, finally done grieving his late husband. When he and Gabriella meet old friends again and someone who looks like his late husband chaos ensues

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,Reader has vampiric traits,Reader is Miguel O’Hara’s husband in his earth,Gabriella aka Miguel and Reader’s kid is alive,very out of character characters,this is a series,Reader is dating Spider-Noir, Spanish will be used but I’m a no sabo kid so I’ll use Google translate so if I did something wrong tell me and please suggest me websites to use for proper translation,Reader was with the og spider crew during into the spider verse,people might be out of character,Nicknames like:Doll and Doll face are used as it makes sense for Noir,tell me if I need to add more

Miles fell asleep on your shoulder so Noir put his trench coat over him. Noir saw you looking at Miles and he knew you were thinking of something so he kindly asked. “Doll, what’s on your mind?” You looked at him with a blank yet serious face. “I could’ve stopped this..I could’ve made sure that he never came here and was safe but now he’s here…I need to get him the watch I made so he can hide in my universe, I’ll kill them all if it means he gets to see his family” Noir sighed and nodded his head, Miles has always been a son to you so you always were protective of him and would do anything for his happiness and safety.

“I know you will…just..just make sure you tell me so I can help you Dollface” you smiled at Noir as you grabbed his hand. Gabriella was asleep on Miles..it was a cute sight that you couldn’t help but take a picture of. You picked up Miles as Noir picked up Gabriella, you two quickly made were able to go to your universe as you both heard Miguel. As soon as you got home or to your house Miles was put on the couch and was given a watch that you made. “It serves the same purposes as ours but it isn’t attached to Lyla but is instead attached to-“ “Whose the new kid?” You looked at your AI, she didn’t look anything like Lyla. She had short curly hair, sunglasses in bat wings, had a black sorta fluffy vest, brown thigh high boats, vitiligo, a gothic dress, and finally lacy gloves as she was made with inspiration of your late best friend, Lola Parker.

“Before I was so rudely interrupted my watch is attached to her or Viktora, Gabriella named her” Gabriella woke up rubbing her eye a bit as soon as she saw Viktora she waved and Viktora smiled and waved back. “It is nice to meet you Ms.Viktora” She looked Noir up and down then gave a half smile half ‘I’m pretending so my favorite people don’t get annoyed’ smile. “Same here anyways why is the 1610 kid here?” Noir left to put Gabriella in bed. “He accidentally was in the spider society then Miguel decided to chase him down for some reason!”

Viktora was surprised..Miguel? Alive? She knows about the multiverse but last time she checked the Miguel she knew died in your arms but maybe it’s because she’s trying to surpass it so that you are happy. She sighed as she looked at Miles. “Damn…Kid gonna need therapy that’s for sure but..how are you? You know after seeing um a version of your late husband alive?” You sighed as you sat on the coffee table and ran a hand over your face you stared at the ceiling. “I’m on the verge of breaking down..so many feelings are overcoming me but I’m mostly feeling sad and overwhelmed…..I accepted his death after I went through all the stages of grief and found a man I love but..seeing my husb-..dead husband alive I got so overwhelmed. I know he’s not my Miguel but when you see a man who looks like your first love you get all emotional….I still love Noir, he’s my dearest lover and I’ll love him still I just..I just need to get my feelings under control”

Viktora sighed and nodded her head, she knew how much you loved your Miguel as he made you feel safe and she hopes Noir can do that. “I’ll put the house on safety watch” “Thanks Vik, I’m going to get some blood” “Dont go to hard on your boyfriend” you blushed and slapped away her hologram making her laugh, you walked away mumbling cuss words. Noir was in your room as he was resting on your bed and you laid on him. He chuckled and kissed you head as you gently bit his neck for blood. He’s always allowed you to feed on him as you need it to love and you make sure not to make fo much. “I love you” you looked up at Noir and smiled. “Te amo(I love you)” you were telling the truth but your feelings of 2099 Miguel made you feel like your living a lie but you’ll deal with it later.

#yandere #please don’t do this #obession #unhealthy #platonic yandere #yandere platonic #romantic yandere #A vampire’s true love series #part 2 of many #x male reader #male reader #yandere x male reader #yandere spider man across the spider verse #yandere spiderverse

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because-its-eurovision · 11 months

Text

Hi friends🖤

The week after the Esc final was pretty horrible for me mentally. For the first time ever I was physically ill and actually cried because of the results. The result might have been what I expected, but wasn’t expecting to feel so betrayed and let down. I was really worried I’d start spiraling, but I am lucky enough to have you all here, which really helped. I want to say how sorry I am.

I’m sorry that the televoters didn’t get the winner they wanted. I’m sorry for all of you who used their money to vote in vain. I’m sorry for my country not getting the opportunity to host the contest next year, celebrate and show our culture and I’m sorry that I don’t get the opportunity to welcome my mutuals to Finland. I’m so, so sorry for Yle who put up the best national selection of the year and did everything they could to get the best possible result, and it still wasn’t enough. Most of all I’m sorry for Käärijä who gave his all and damn near burned himself out to reach his dream to win Eurovision and then felt like he had failed us.

As the last seven days have gone by, I’ve slowly gone through the stages of grief. Denial that the results can’t be true and believing that they must be rigged. Anger at the nepotism and favouritism. Bargaining, thinking that maybe the Swedish delegation feels bad and lets Finland co-host next year or even gives us the trophy. Depression and fear that we are never going to get this close to winning ever again and this was our only shot. Finally, acceptance that everyone played by the contest’s rules and the end result is what it is.

Yle made a great choice of showing Käärijä’s Ice Hall show live and making it available all around the world. It was the marketplace celebration he wanted and deserved, but even better. Every single person in that audience was there for him and only him, as was every viewer wherever in the world they might be. Käärijä got the main character moment he deserved and that really warms my heart. The show also gave a closure to the after-Eurovision week and the post Eurovision depression and the new national trauma that all of Finland was starting to experience. It kinda ended this season on a high note for us.

Last night I unpacked the last stuff from my suitcase, put my bolero away, folded my Käärijä shirts to the closet. Then I went for a walk by the seashore, just to clean my thoughts from all the literal and figurative noise. And I remembered how small we are, and how unsignificant everything really is. And after a while, the numb grief was repleced by gratefulness. So I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you to every single one of you. Thank you for all the love you have shown to Finland and Käärijä this year. Thank you for the comments and likes, thank you for making art and memes, thank you for streaming and voting and supporting us. Finland, Finnish artists and Finnish language are so often forgotten and being in the spotlight of the whole world right now feels unreal and incredible. Thank you for watching our silly little national selection and their content, thank you for following Käärijä’s journey.

Thank you to everyone in Liverpool and all over the world who was rooting for Finland this year. I’ll never forget the German journalist who told me off the record that she wanted Finland to win, or the half dozen Spanish guys in green boleros, or the local volunteer who sang cha cha cha with me in the middle of the street, or the people who chanted for Käärijä at the arena, or the Brits next to us who came to give us comforting hugs when the result was clear. I’ve never seen my nation supporting something or someone in such a unison. The green colour, the outfits, the haircuts; cakes, drinks, decorations, celebrations all over. I’m thankful that people showed up at the airport and made clear to Käärijä how proud we are of him and how much everyone loves him. Not only did he reach a result most of couldn’t have even hoped for a few years back, he did it in our own language. He put Finland on a pedestal for the world to see and united this whole country in a way I’ve never seen before. He showed us how important it is to be yourself, be kind, accept your flaws and laugh at them, just believe in yourself and always do your best. Thank you, Jere from Vantaa. You deserve the world.

#content: thoughts I just had to get out #thank you for not abandoning me when I was devastated and angry and bitter #I don't deserve you

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desideriumwriter · 2 years

Text

Nothing’s Wrong.

Summary: Spencer has a grudge against reader, when she helps him when he’s shot, it doesn’t fix anything. Well, a few other arguments do…and reader showing up to his door.

Pairing: Spencer x Fem!reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending.

WC: 3.7k

CW: yelling, Spencer being shot, Spencer nearly dying, mentions of death, kidnapping, mentions of SA and murder, barely proofread (like always).

A/N: I used some of the dialogue from a scene in TEOTFW (S2) where James & Alyssa argue in the car, I don’t know if I like this really, anyways I hope you enjoy it!

Masterlist

• • • • • • •

It’s been seven weeks since Emily died.

Almost 3 weeks of sobbing and crying and being angry, 2 weeks of reminiscing…also crying, and 1 week since you’ve finally come to the sad acceptance that she’s gone.

You went through all the stages of grief and mourning. Spencer was still extremely hurt over it.

Emily was like an older sister to you. You became friends after having a conversation in a store with her on shoes. You also knew Spencer at the same time, you met him in a bookstore.

Spencer however, isn’t handling it well.

He’s been crying at your door ever since it happened. Everytime he talks about how he never got to say goodbye and the good memories he had with her. You would just listen and rub his back, trying to comfort him in any way possible.

One night after he calmed down, you thought maybe talking about something else would help, so he could get his mind off it. But after what happened, he’s probably still in the anger stage of grief.

“Oh, did you hear about my new job? You know, the job. The one I’ve been trying to get for the past year.” You grinned, trying to change the subject so he could focus on something else than his dead friend.

“Don’t you realize Emily is gone?”

“Yes. I just thought you were okay with talking about other things.” Your voice was small.

“You wouldn’t have thought so. You would've known. If you did know you wouldn’t talk about yourself every second!” Your mouth dropped slightly in disgust.

“What? What are you trying to get at?” You were genuinely confused, how did a few sentences cause him to lash out and snap at you?

“Emily is gone, forever! and you’re just talking about yourself!” He stood up from the couch. You copied his movements.

“Spencer, I’ve finally got the job I’ve been working all my life for and I wanted to share what’s been happening at it. I didn’t know it would make you so upset.”

“Emily is fucking dead!” He screamed at you, you flinched a tiny bit, hearing him swear was terrifying. He has such a soft, sweet voice, hearing it so angry, so frustrated, so loud, it was scary.

“I fucking know that! I know! Have you taken a minute to think I’m hurting too? You’ve come to my door crying for nearly seven weeks now and I’ve been hugging you, holding you, letting you sleep here for comfort. But what have you done? Hm? You haven’t asked once if I was okay. She was family to me too!” You yelled back.

“God, I can't handle you anymore. It’s too much.”

“You can’t handle me? Spencer what the fuck are you saying? We’re friends, y-you’re my best friend.”

“I don’t care. I can’t stand you anymore.” He pushed past you and swiftly walked out the door before you could get another word in, he didn’t even bother to close the door.

You just stood there in shock and bit your cheek, you tried to hold back tears and listened to his footsteps fade out down the hallway.

What the fuck?

• • • • • • •

You haven’t had any interaction with Spencer for three whole years. The day he walked out on you after the argument, you never spoke again.

But last month you saw him, in the worst way possible.

Spencer was shot in the neck last week. You were the one who had to run over and apply pressure to his neck, trying to stop him from bleeding out.

You repeatedly told him to keep his eyes on you as he fell in and out of consciousness.

McGregor had you tied up on the floor, he took you as a hostage while you were passing by, using you, a random innocent girl, as collateral damage. He was oblivious to your old connection to an FBI agent.

Once he wasn’t looking because he was too busy being in the middle of a shootout, you were able to squeeze your hands out of the ropes and run out the side door. Shots rang out towards you as you ran and a bullet nearly hit your arm.

You felt as if it was your fault, when you escaped, Spencer saw you, ran after you, then got shot. Maybe if you ran a different direction, away from him, maybe if you just stayed put, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He wouldn’t have seen you, he wouldn’t have run after you, he wouldn’t have ran across a fucking shootout, he wouldn’t have gotten shot.

You hated Spencer. But he didn’t deserve to die. As he was lifted into the ambulance you looked at your arms covered in his blood. You didn’t blink, your eyes were stuck wide open looking at the red all over.

• • • • • • •

You sobbed in the shower trying to wash the blood that you missed off your arms, Spencer’s blood. Watching it mix within the water and turn into a pinkish shade.

It was going to eat you alive if you didn’t at least attempt to see him.

When you arrived at the hospital, you sat in your car for a while, debating if you should really go inside and see him. What if he was in a coma or critical condition? What if he was dead? Someone would’ve told you, right?

Fuck it, just go and see for yourself.

Once you were able to visit him, you stood at the door and looked through the small glass window, he was talking to an older woman. He caught a small glimpse of you, you saw his face change, his brows furrowed, it wasn’t in a way of disgust or anger, more like confusion and shock. You immediately changed your mind and turned away.

You got in your car and put your key in the ignition. You stalled and didn’t turn it. Once again, thoughts came rushing through your head.

Maybe he wasn’t angry anymore? Did he forget about what happened?

No, no, it's impossible to forget.

Was he appreciative of you? Was he happy to see you? Or just confused? You haven’t seen him in so long, he was just surprised.

You basically saved his life, he has to be at least a tiny bit appreciating of it.

Just go back inside. But, that lady might still be there.

It’ll be awkward seeing him in general.

Shit.

Again, after sitting in your car for a little over thirty minutes you decided to go back into the building and see Spencer.

You walked quickly down the hallway, you weren’t excited to see him, you weren’t in a rush to see him. You just…needed to see him.

You approached the door and gave it three gentle knocks. You opened it and peeked your head in.

“Hi.” He only gave you a weak nod and straight smile in response.

“Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” You fully walked in.

“I’m alive, you can see that.” You watched him look down at your still blood stained hand, you tugged your sleeve down and took a mental note to try and scrub it off once you got home.

“Yeah. I never thought the next time seeing you was gonna be me trying to stop you from bleeding out.”

“Why are you here?” He sighed.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, after everything that happened, you know?”

“Well I obviously am.” You nodded in response to his snarky tone. There was an awkward silence.

“Just because you helped me doesn’t mean I'm not angry at you anymore. I’m happy that you did what you did but you didn’t have to come here. You could've stayed home. Okay?” He deadpanned. His attitude made your blood boil, you thought after three whole years he would ease up and let go of the grudge he had against you, but nope. It made you snap.

“You’re right. Fucking forget it, coming here was a huge mistake.” You stormed out the door while Spencer attempted to call out your name.

• • • • • • •

You spent a long night out with your friends at the club, you drank and danced less than them and you got left there alone after they all drunkenly left and got into cabs. You sat at the counter and just observed everyone, couples dancing, the bartenders, people flirting, it was nearly four a.m. by the time you left.

The streets were mostly empty, all taxis were gone or parked with their lights off. You were buzzed but you could walk home, even in heels…

Maybe not.

“Shit!” You yelled as your ankle rolled and you started to fall towards the concrete, until a set of arms caught you and helped you stand up straight.

“Oh, thank you. I would’ve knocked out my teeth or something if yo-” You paused once you turned and looked at the man in front of you.

It was fucking Spencer.

You pulled away from his grip and smoothed your dress.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone at this time of night, it’s not safe. I can give you a ride home.” He assured you.

“I’m fine, these streets are safe. My place isn’t even that far.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“I don’t want you being out here, you could get kidnapped, or trafficked, or assaulted, or…just any type of bad thing could happen. I’m just trying to help.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’ve already been kidnapped before, remember? McGregor? I know how to protect myself now.” He practically flinched when you said McGregor's name, bringing back the terrible memory of all that happened that night.

“Listen, I’m working on a case around here, the suspect follows and takes girls that are alone, assaults them, and kills them. I’d rather not tell you all the brutal details. It’s really not good to be out here right now. I don’t want you getting hurt again. So please just accept my offer.” You looked up and down the dark, empty streets. You’d rather get in the car with a man you hated than become a victim to a killer on the loose.

“Shit, fine.” You mumbled and went to the passenger's side of his car. Neither of you said a word.

He didn’t seem angry anymore, maybe a small conversation would be nice.

You began to wonder about the woman you saw in Spencer's hospital room.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who was the woman in the hospital room with you?”

“Her name is Alex.” He said flatly.

“Oh. So, has Alex been helping you do stuff? Cause of your...injury, you know?” You looked at the scar on his neck.

“She left. The night after I got shot.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“How’s your job?” He asked.

“It’s amazing. I thought you didn’t want me to talk about it.” You slumped down in your seat.

“That was a while back. I didn’t mean it.”

“Whatever anyways, do you have the profile on the killer so I know who to watch out for?” He opened his mouth but paused for a minute, then stammered, then just stopped talking. The realization hit you. Your jaw went slightly ajar. Bastard.

“There is no profile, there is no killer. You lied.” You looked over at him, furious.

“I’m not lying! It’s just- we haven’t- we’re not ready to deliver it yet!”

“No! You’re a horrible liar Spencer. If there was a killer on the loose, I would’ve heard about it! I would’ve heard something about dead women found written in newspapers or it would’ve been on the news or being told by one of my neighbors! God why didn’t I realize.” You muttered the last sentence to yourself.

“I didn’t- okay, maybe I did lie. But I did it for the best.”

“What? You lied about a criminal just for me to get in your car?”

“No! I just care about you! You still could’ve gotten attacked! I was just looking out for you!”

“I don’t need you to look out for me! Plus, all of a sudden you care about me? You held a grudge against me for years after one shitty argument! I was able to keep you from bleeding out when you got shot in the fucking neck, when I went to visit and check on you in the hospital you yelled at me! You know, maybe just a simple ‘Thanks for basically saving my life’ would be nice. You hated me but now you want to care about me? Fuck off.”

“You’re right, but I’m truly thankfu-”

“Just drive me home Reid. It’s whatever.” You cut him off, you didn’t want to hear him thanking you only because you pointed it out.

“Can you stop acting like that?” He sighed.

“Acting like what?”

“You can’t just act like nothings wrong when it is!”

“Nothings wrong, everything is in the past, you never said thank you or sorry, so what? It’s in the past now. I don’t want you to say any of it now.” He went silent again. Until, you had to stop at the train tracks and wait for a train to pass.

"Please can you let me say sorry?" He sighed and broke the silence.

“Okay…I said okay.” You looked over to him, his jaw was clenched and hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white. He stayed silent.

“Say it! Go on, say sorry. Say sorry, and then I can say it's okay, and everything's all right. That's what you want, isn't it?”

That’s the thing, that is exactly what Spencer wanted, but he knew that wouldn’t change anything.

“No. It's not ok. It's just how it is.” He said blankly.

“What's that supposed to mean?” You scrunched up your face.

“It wasn't just you…who had a bad time.”

“It's not a competition.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“I nearly died.” He said sternly.

“Oh, apparently it is.” You huffed out and rolled your eyes.

“I nearly died!” He screamed, you didn’t have any physical reaction, no flinching, no jumping, not even blinking. At this point, you were used to him yelling at you.

“I know. I was there.” You tried to hide your hurt, the memory of him almost dying in your hands stung like a bitch.

“I'm not the answer, Spencer.” You said quietly.

“I know.” He nodded. The train finally had passed and he was able to start driving again.

The drive home was silent. Neither of you looked at each other or even made a sound once. You stared out the window, watching the bright city lights pass by.

He reached your apartment after what felt like hours of sitting there in silence.

“Thanks for the ride.” You said as you opened the car door.

“Yep.” He stared straight in front of him, refusing to make eye contact.

You closed the car door and walked inside your apartment complex.

• • • • • • •

It’s been four months since you’ve seen Spencer. You were expecting the months to turn into years like last time, but when you were driving one night you saw him walking down the sidewalk in the rain. He had his cardigan pulled over his head to cover him from the rain.

You pulled over near the sidewalk and rolled down your window. Maybe this time, you could fix everything. No arguing this time.

“It’s freezing out here and it’s raining, do you want a ride?” You shouted over the loud sound of falling rain.

“y/n?- I’m fine.” He squinted at you but when he realized who it was, his tone of voice changed completely.

“All you’ve got is that cardigan on and you're carrying that heavy ass satchel. So, do you want a ride?”

“Fine.” He sighed angrily.

The only thing Spencer said when he got in the car was “Thank you.” It was painfully silent after that…until you got stuck in the middle of late night traffic.

You fiddled around with the radio, trying to find a station playing decent music, but there was none so you just chose the one with ads playing. Eventually you turned it off, it didn’t help anything, even with noise in the background the stress of Spencer being quiet overpowered it. The rain hitting the car and the honking of angry drivers did nothing to help.

The silence was too painful so you decided to finally break it.

“Haven’t seen you in four months.” You tapped your fingers on the wheel.

“I know.”

“Anything cool happen while catching killers?”

“Nope.” He had a bit of attitude in his voice.

“What’s with the tone? You get shot again or something?” You joked.

“No.” He tried to hold back a smile but failed and ended up chuckling a little bit, which made you smile.

Cars started moving, the tension between you and him had decreased, everything felt okay. Maybe he didn’t hate you anymore.

“How’s everything been for you since you left?” His attitude immediately changed back to his snarky one. You furrowed your brows.

“You were the one who walked out, not me.” You clenched your jaw.

“I never walked out.”

“Yes, you did. After the argument three. years. ago. You basically pushed me away when I went to check on you in the hospital, you also screamed at me in the car last time.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that. You still walked out also.”

“You basically pushed me away- whatever, Emily’s alive, that’s good.” You took a long pause in the middle of your sentence.

“I know that, I’m not stupid, she joined the team for a while until she started working for Interpol.” Spencer's bitchy attitude was killing you.

“Why are you acting like such an asshole? Just a few months ago you were acting kind to me. What the fuck happened?”

“You. You happened.” He spat.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. You ruined it. I was trying to be nice and fix us after everything that happened but you just had to be a…a bitch!”

“A bitch? This is all my fault? You made what happened to both of us at the bar shootout a competition! For fucks sake, I ran across a line of bullets to save your ass, I visited you at the fucking hospital to check if you were okay, I still hated you, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. I don’t have an eidetic memory but I know damn well not once you asked if I was.” You ranted.

“You didn’t have to do that, you could've ran the other way and saved yourself. I didn’t need your help.”

“Are you kidding- Spencer, you would’ve bled out!” You were shocked that he didn’t want you to help him, you hated him but you didn’t want him dead.

“Alex was there, so was the rest of the team, anyone could’ve helped me.” You opened your mouth to say something but stopped. What was the point of fighting anymore, you were just beating a dead horse.

“Why are we still fighting?” You sighed.

“I…I don’t know.” His voice was small.

“It’s funny, we’re in the same situation as last time we were in a car together.” You scoffed out a laugh.

“What situation?”

“Last time, you offered me a ride, now I offered you a ride, and now we’re arguing with each other again. Ironic, huh?”

“Time is a flat circle, I guess.” He shrugged.

Thank God you were pulling into his apartment complex parking lot after his last sentence. The tension had fallen again anyway.

“Night Spence.” He gave you a simple “Thanks” and ran into the building, trying to escape the rain.

• • • • • • •

Though everything went somewhat better than the first time in the car with Spencer, nothing felt fixed, and it was bothering you.

You were having a terrible day already. You spilled coffee on yourself…twice, knocked over an entire stack of papers you just organized, got screamed at and humiliated by a customer in front of everyone in the room, you fell on the sidewalk and your hands got all scraped up. All the little things piling up made you get closer and closer to crying your eyes out. Thinking of Spencer did not help one bit.

Everything today was reminding you of him, the bookstore you drove past on the way to work, the smell of fresh coffee in the office, the paintings on the walls, the music playing on the radio, the sound of harsh wind outside, somehow everything connected back to him.

Just Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer.

You couldn’t stand one more second of having him stuck in your head, you were going to break if he didn’t leave your mind.

As soon as work was over for you, you went right over to Spencer’s apartment. You only knocked twice on his door.

He opened it with a frustrated expression which quickly turned into concern when he fully saw your face.

“y/n? What happened?”

“I’ve had a long day.” That’s all you said. You bit down on your bottom lip while trying to fight back the tears threatening to spill.

“Oh, okay, can you come inside if you want.” He unlocked the chain and opened the door fully.

You did and sat down on the couch with your eyes focused on your hands glued together.

“Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Water?” You shook your head to every offer, not looking up once.

“Okay, um…do you want to tell me what’s going on?” He sat down next to you.

“Everything is so fucking weird and tense between us, and I hate it. I want it gone.” You blurted out to him.

“I know. I can admit that…I- I want it gone too.”

“I miss you, Spence. God, I fucking miss you. I miss you so much to the point it hurts. And, I’m exhausted…of everything, hating you and fighting. I don’t want to argue anymore.” You spewed out again while you looked him right in the eyes, even though you were about to start sobbing.

“y/n…” You could tell he had to take a minute to figure out what to say.

“I…am so sorry for everything. I was a complete and utter asshole, I didn’t want it to seem like I was jealous or angry about your success. I don’t cope with big changes well but that’s not an excuse for how I acted. I was such an asshole and I was stuck up in myself. You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m so sorry, y/n.” He sputtered out. You gave a small shaky sigh of relief.

“All I wanted to hear was for you to say sorry.” You couldn’t fight back tears anymore, they started streaming down your face as you hugged him tightly.

“I’m so sorry, I love you.” He mumbled into your hair.

“I love you too, Spencer.”

“No, I mean, I love you.” He pulled out of the hug and cupped his hands around your face.

“I know. I do too.” You smiled.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #enemies to lovers #friends to enemies #spencer x fem!reader

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laneywrld · 2 years

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White Dress | Austin!Elvis

Masterlist

Warnings: none, happy ending angst?

Based on the song, White Dress by Lana Del Rey. ( I guarantee that listening to it as you read makes it 10x better )

Listen while you read:

Apple Music, Spotify

“I’ll never be good enough for you,” his rough voice acknowledged you finally.

The screaming match had long passed, he sat at the foot of the bed and angled his head to you as you sat solemnly on the head of the bed, legs dangling over the side. Your eyes remained cast down at the floor, shards of glass scattered at your feet.

At the sound of his voice, your ears ring and with a hot face, you huff stomping past him and into the guest bedroom. “Goddammit!” you could hear his hand smack against the bed frame and with a slam of the door you drowned out the sounds of his angry shouts.

“This is why we don’t talk, Elvis, you're too consumed in who you are that you throw everyone else and their opinions to the side.” You grumbled crossing your arms, a bored look set on your face. For the hundredth time, he ran his hand through his hair before tossing his arms out in front of him. “We don’t talk because you’re a joy-sucking, ungrateful brat!” he roared, “Look at the life I gave you! You mean to tell me this ain’t what you wanted huh? You got damn everything you ever could want Y/N!” he snapped “Everything!”

“I want my life back!” You finally roared back, catching him by surprise. “I’m not like this, I don’t behave like this! This isn’t me, you’re fucking me up, Elvis!”

The screaming lasted for hours, back and forth, room to room, you expressed your distaste for each other in the form of nasty words and destroying anything in the line of fire. “God, I ain’t ever regretted something so much.” He taunted leaning down to grab his guitar that had toppled over in his futile attempt to scare you into backing down.

“Yeah same,” you chorused, watching his hands clenched into fists, “If we never met, if you left me alone in that diner, you’d save us both some time, energy and grief.” It was a low blow, but his words had been hitting you all night. That was how it usually went, you remained calm and collected, accepting the harsh words he threw your way.

“You’re not leaving me y/n.” His tone was monotone his stare deadly, before taking shelter at the foot of the bed,

“It’s not like a choice huh? Everything is under your control Elvis, I don’t understand why you won’t let me go, got me all trapped here with you forever, and you don’t even see me. Just doesn’t make sense.” You finally sat down, your life was so simple before you met Elvis.

You and Elvis hadn’t spoken a single word to each other in the past three days, tonight you were set to hit the stage. If you were being completely honest, your success was credited to Elvis, he discovered you in that run-down diner and launched you into his world of fame and stardom. You were sure then that this was everything you wanted, but you were only nineteen and the bright lights and famous life felt like the ultimate dream. God, if you could do it all again, there’s not a single doubt that you would.

Elvis sat perched in his seat, every show front and center on the balcony waiting for you to take your usual steps towards the center of the stage, directly in front of him. Even though he was still furious at you over an argument that had started for reasons he couldn’t even remember, he would never miss your performances.

The lights dimmed, the golden curtains spread open, and there you were, his once starry-eyed babydoll, chest puffed out and eyes twinkling, the beaming grin on your face big and wide offering exciting waves to the bouncing fans.

It was enough to make his heart swell with pride and the twitching smile on his face nearly made him forget he was upset with you. You spoke in such a singsong tone it had him swooning all over again. “Hello lovelies,” you cooed into the mic, “I missed y’all.”

Like it was habitual, under his breath he responded “Hi, baby.”

“I know y’all don’t wanna hear me talking y’alls head off, huh? So how about I get to my job?” You hinted, taking graceful steps towards the grand piano a few feet away, listening to the excited chatter of the crowd die down.

He watched you attach your microphone and position the object close to your plush lips. “This is a little something new,” He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him mouth along with a few others. You were definitely his girl, you even talked like him.

Sun stare, don't care with my head in my hands,

thinking of a simpler time,

like sun ra, feel small

But I had it under control.

You were freshly 19, a full-time student, and part time waitress. Day after day you attended class, night after night, you worked your ass off to pay for said classes. Your parents didn’t support your decision to major in music, it was an unreal career to them. They were probably right, but you wouldn’t know unless you gave it a try. It was a passion for you, they’d only ever known the depths of their own misery, the idea that something like music could instill such pure harmony and calmness in you seemed unreal.

And you couldn’t blame them, even when they refused to help you pay for school, you weren't angry. You had it all under control.

when I was a waitress wearing a white dress,

look how I do this, look how I got this.

I was a waitress working the night shift,

you were my man, felt like I got this.

It was a slow night when you first laid eyes upon Elvis Presley, or well when he first laid eyes on you. The diner was bare and empty. You stood bent over the jukebox jamming your hand into the buttons letting out a sharp breath, “work please, you piece of shit.” and with one final jab Elvis could recognize the tune of B.B King's “Three O’Clock Blues”

“Well now it’s o’clock in the morning' and I can’t even close my eyes,” you sang “can’t find my baby, and I can’t be satisfied”

With quiet steps he found himself sneaking into the corner booth a surprised smile gracing his lips, watching you sway your hips to the beat of the song, “Whoo!” you called out doing a goofy shimmy to the instrumentals. For eight minutes and thirty-seven seconds, he enjoyed the show, until you sang the last verse “tell her please, please forgive me, for my sins.”

He had never heard a voice like yours, so sweet and velvety, it shook him to his core so much that he couldn’t help but release a proud shout. “Whoo! Now, what y’know about King!”

The shout startled you, nearly making you topple over off the chair you had found yourself standing in. “Good Lord!” you called out shooting a displeased stare over your shoulder. Stepping down you, run your hands over the tight white dress. “Question is, what do y’know about King?” you raised your brows in a teasing manner, dropping a menu in front of him and strutting away.

down in the men in music business conference,

I was only nineteen, down at the men in music business

conference, I only mentioned it cause it was such a scene, and

I felt seen.

“Are you sure I can be here Elvis,” you held your arms crossed over your chest, throwing nervous glances at the gripping eyes of men staring you down.

“Yeah, baby. You're with me.” he sent you a cocky smile, “and it’s a music conference love.”

“For men, I’m not a man, Elvis Presley.” you pointed out.

“You sing better than any man I know, it’d be a shame for you to miss out on this.”

He made it his mission to show you off to anyone in sight, arms thrown over your shoulder, propping his head onto yours, raving about how you “had the voice of an angel” and how you could “out-sing any man here.”

Your cheeks stung the entire day from the smile that never seemed to leave. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so seen in my life Mr. Presley.” you sighed out, breathless from the number of compliments you’d been receiving.

“Gone up on that stage, baby. Sing ‘em a song, let ‘em know who you are.”

When I was a waitress wearing a tight dress

handling the heat, I wasn’t famous

like, look at how I got this, look how

I got this, just singing the street.

The heat of the spotlight warmed your body, or maybe it was the intensity of Elvis’ stare.

You were silent after the convention, “what’s on your mind love?” he thought back to the look in your eyes as you peered up at him. “I felt like a god up there.” You gushed, squeezing his waist a little tighter. “It was such a scene.”

He smiled at the tender memory, watching the emotion overtake you as you sang.

“And I felt seen

When I was a waitress wearing a white dress

Like, look how I do it, look how I got this.

I was a waitress, wearing a tight dress.”

And your eyes suddenly left their locked gaze on your fingers to his eyes, and he sent you an encouraging smile as your eyes glazed over.

“Like look how do this, look how I got this,

Made me feel, made me feel like a God.

It kinda makes me feel like

Maybe I was better off.”

He could see you slowly shed a tear before your eyes downcasted once again.

“Cause it made me feel, made me feel like a God.

Kinda makes me feel like maybe I was better off.”

And you lifted your head for the final time, eyes piercing directly into his own.

“I love you,” he mouthed, shedding a tear of his own as the audience erupted in encouraging shouts. He sent you an approving nod which you returned with words of your own, “I love you”

As your show went on, Elvis found himself waiting backstage, the moment you said your farewells to the crowd he was at your side gripping your hand. With a quick duck of his head, he found his lips at the shell of your ear. “You got it under control,” he whispered, giving you an encouraging pat on your waist. “All you,”

You couldn’t help the teary-eyed smile you gave your man,

If you knew all it took for him to understand you was a song, well hell, you would’ve written the damn song months ago.

When I was a waitress wearing a white dress,

I had it under control every time.

thank you for reading <3

#elvis angst #elvis imagine #austin elvis imagine #austin butler angst #austin elvis x reader #austin butler #elvis presley #elvis movie #poc reader #black reader

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bubupop · 1 year

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a thousand and one lives.

I am, shamelessly, back. Where have I been? Won’t say. I will be back? Of course. Anyways, hope you enjoy my comeback with this angst/fluff thingy. Hmmm, crisp. No proof read cuz we die like men. --------- You were frail. They knew that since you’ve arrived and, regrettably, haven’t always treated you as such. But now, you being their greatest treasure, and even knowing that this day had to come they weren’t yet prepared. Some say humans know their time has arrived, they have a so-called gut feeling. But you weren’t supposed to get a hunch like that, ever. You were supposed to... You were supposed to… To stay, with them. That day was unforgettable. A day burned forever into not only their memories, but their hearts as well. How could they ever forget? It was all after celebrating how long you’ve been with them and how long they hope it will continue like that only to be met with such news once the party quieted down.

“I’m dying. It might be today, I don’t know.” You said something along those lines, or at least that’s how they heard it. The problem was how you said that with such a peaceful smile, so accepting of it, like those words coming out of your mouth didn’t make all of their worlds crash down. The room went quiet and everyone could hear each other's heartbeat, or lack of thereof. Them being them, of course, chaos ensued.

There was a way. There MUST be a way to keep you. You couldn’t leave just like that, could you? But their time ran short and after tears and shout downs at each other and pretty much going through all grief stages in the span of what felt like a minute time passed. You left their world with a smile on your face, what looked like a peaceful smile surrounded by them was nothing but death masked as a dream. You stood there, and they were hoping you’ll open your eyes and exclaim how it was all a prank, your mischievous laugh filling the room and then they can all move on.

But your eyes never opened again. Your laugh wasn’t heard again, neither was the sound of your steps on the House of Lamentations floor.

You weren’t in the garden, at school, in your own room. They were robbed of you.

After your death it’d be a lie to say they didn’t hate you, just a little bit.

Okay, maybe a ton bit. Their anger waving in and out of them, but could they be blamed for that? They lost who had become their everything, their glue, they had lost you. Why, why had you waited to tell them? Was it because you were unsure you would actually die? How long had you had that feeling, then? Some take it harsher than others. Sleeping away the days without you, reading, gambling, working, eating, gaming, partying them away.

It soon became clear it wasn’t you who they resented, it was rather your fickle life, the curse of loving someone who had to die so soon, fast like a blink to them. They had loved someone whom death could touch and now had to live with the consequences of such, but letting you into their hearts was the best mistake they could have ever made. Like a flower who wilted too soon, you departed nonetheless if they were ready for it or not. A part of some of them, the most naive, hoped at least your ghost could be found around the halls. That never happened.

Beel would often send you messages, dreaming that you’d answer from wherever you were now. Sometimes funny anecdotes that happened through the day, or memories from the time you shared together. He’d end up crying by the end of it.

Leviathan customized characters to look like you and often adventured with them in his open world games. And, while Mammon said he wasn’t all that faced he named a crow after you, and kept a chest under his bed with all his mementos of you, next to a vault full of the things he wished to give you.

Satan was the first one to find the notes you left, needless to say he ripped it to pieces, anger getting the best of him only to weep once it subsided. You knew, you fucking knew. He hated you and yet longed for you to come back to him. To read with him, write with him, to exist near him. He wept and wept and no one had it in their hearts to be truly mad at him and, by the time he was done bawling his eyes out he realized he wasn’t the only one. Even when Lucifer denied it they could see it, even if it was just the smallest of tears, they saw it.

You helped make them who they are today and you wouldn’t have wanted to see them like that, they were never quite the same as before, though.

That day Mammon had gone out of a pure whim, nothing less and nothing more, he could have easily ignored them as he had done before. He had no reason to really appear, but he did. Another one of those “cults” to him, if you may. But it wasn’t the riches and shiny things that caught his eye, rather the figure hanging from the ceiling, swinging from side to side. All of his devotees were kneeling, not daring look him in the face but the sacrifice, as they called them, was looking straight at him with eyes wide open. Filled with what seemed like tears, but not a trace of fear.

“Mammon!” They chirped before being shushed by the head member of the cult. Feeling the goosebumps all over his body, he soon approached the sacrifice. It couldn’t be.

“O Great Mammon, forgive—” The man was brought to a halt by his fierce gaze.

“Silence, human.” And he stared at the figure still hanging from the ceiling. “What are you?” His hostile gaze did not seem to face the individual.

“A human, of course!” His anger was getting the best of him, and just before he was turning around to leave that shitshow the human spoke again. “How mean! How could my first man not recognize me? And after all the trouble I went through to become your sacrifice!”

His mask almost fell for a second. Before showing any emotion to his followers he soon took the hanging person from the ceiling and disappeared.

Later on, back to the House of Lamentation, and after disappearing for a while he popped up again. Beaming. And just as his brothers were about to get in his case you appeared next to him. Before he even had the chance to explain his infuriated big brother was already going apeshit.

How dare he? How dare he try to replace you with another human? He knew Mammon as foolish but not this way. This is the angriest he had been since a good while ago. But the human didn’t back up, even more Mammon confronted him in his demon form, too. Confusion and hurt apparent in his face for a split second before the new human got in between them.

“Luci, you just don’t change. Why won’t you listen to your brothers?” They scolded. Him. Diavolo 's right hand demon. One of the strongest and fearest demons around. Before he could even say any other thing, though, Beelzebub was already running towards the human.

He felt it, too. You, it was you! When the fifth brother held you up into the air your laugh was unmistakable. Features, while different, still resembling you. As they dreamt since you’ve been gone, you found your way back to them. A brand new life, body and life story, yet the same soul they knew and love.

“I promised,” You said, in the middle of the group hug. “That I’d be back, didn’t I?” They did not remember such a promise but it all seemed meaningless now that you were back. For the first time in a long time, they felt complete.

Life went on, and on, and on. And you died, once again. This time, though as sad as the past one, they felt lighter knowing that you promised to be back again. They just had to wait.

And wait they did, and come back you did. You came once as an old office worker, an overworked woman who had four cats and took a while to remember. Next time you were a handsome man, a model. Sometimes it took you too long to remember and others it seemed like it was your life purpose to search for them. Once they even made a game out of it, turning out Belphegor was the winner, finding you first.

Maybe, just maybe, you were always meant to be with them.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me reader #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me angst #obey me happy ending #obey me dating sim

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