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#i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :)

ricegrains-n-rosess · 2 years

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My personal ST sexuality headcanons :) IK it’s long stfu I needed to get this out

Nancy: I’d say she’s a lesbian just strong wlw vibes all around, she was into dudes but platonically and mistakes the desire for affection and friendship as romantic feelings and just thought her attraction to women was bestie vibes only :)

Robin: Fuhkin gay. so gay. Figured out she was gay from a kitschy erotica novel that she stole from a yard sale when she was 12 (the ones with huge half-breed musclemen and fainting women in ripped bodices on the cover)

Steve: Oh homie, get some dick. Watched Grease when he was 11 and had a boner he had to hide throughout the whole thing because he was sweating from John Travolta and Olivia Newman.

Eddie: way too gender to not be nonbinary (he/they king) also BISEXUALLL so bisexual like he radiates bisexual slut (affectionate) Maybe pansexual? He also gives pansexual vibes in a total “*shrug* ass is ass, man” kinda way. Was that one kid who was kissing boys in secret when he was 6 and putting on lipstick before having a crisis at 14 and sadly became a total shithead before going back to being a nerd at 16. Blows men at truck stops without shame.

Billy: Fakes being straight but is the biggest fag in history like stone butch has had affairs with 13 different men. Makes women want to leave their husbands but even more so makes men leave their wives. He does drag and is intense enough that if anyone tries to make fun of them he’ll beat their asses until they’d have to be scraped off the floor with a spatula.

Eleven: Ok so like, really heteromantic but experimental with girls. Asexual but doesn’t really understand her asexuality so developed a pretty shitty mindset of thinking something was wrong with her. Max being educated on this helped her understand herself better probably.

Max: B I S E X U A L all the way omg. Fucking definition of hot bi girl. I’d say also poly?? She’s the girl that Joan Jett is singing about in AC/DC.

Lucas: Just told people he was a spicy straight after he was caught making out with a guy. Actually bisexual but has a shit ton of internalized biphobia. Which leads to shit getting rocky with max sometimes.

Mike: Oh god he needs to get dicked down even harder than Steve he has so much internalized homophobia. I’m not even going to call him bi he just feels so gay it ain’t even funny.

Dustin: panromantic asexual. I dunno how to elaborate but his mom bought him a barbie when he asked for one. He’s just chill about his sexuality doesn’t get the big whoop about why it’s so important. He doesn’t really like pride but went to a parade wearing a pan flag with Suzie who’s pan as well and he’s super supportive of her .

Will: Toned down gay, similar to Dustin where he really doesn’t give a shit about sexuality like has a very “gay isn’t different to straight so let’s all just be treated as equal it should just be considered normal” mentality. Tho I reckon he’s the sort that would throw a brick through a window if he had to. More punk scene activist less Yas Queen

Jonathan: Aroace, depressed and felt desperate to feel something so convinced himself he was in love with Nancy. Still unaware of what he is :(

Joyce: Bisexual. No elaboration.

Chrissy: Pansexual. She looks like a walking pansexual flag.

I probably missed some people out lol i’m just tired <3

#https://www.pinterest.com/morethanareview/vintage-book-covers-80s-romance-covers-fabio-tbt-b/#fruity four #lgbtq #pansexual #aroace #gay #lesbian #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st 4 vol 2 #stranger things is so gay

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cartoonfantic8 · 4 years

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LGBTQ+ Percy Jackson Headcannons Part 2

ToA spoilers, Jason’s not dead!

Link to Part 1 - https://cartoonfantic8.tumblr.com/post/627758351057616896/lgbtq-percy-jackson-headcannons

How the fuck did I get so many likes!? Thank you to everyone who liked it or rebloggged. I want everyone to know that your are loved and accepted. Fuck what anyone tells you otherwise, they don’t know how you feel. Being anywhere on the gender spectrum, you are not “sick” or “ill”, that’s what you feel comfortable identifying as, then you are. You are loved and accepted.

- Percy’s a demiboy

- He uses they/he pronouns but mostly uses he.

- Sally is so supportive of him, and will easily switch pronouns. Paul is a little weary of it at first but after learning a lot more and slowly accepting it, he’s proud of Percy for expressing how he feels. Annabeth is also pretty supportive and loves him all the same. Everyone is camp loves him no matter what and accepts him.

- Their friends still love them. Once in a while Jason will slip up pronouns and being the extremely nice guy he is will apogizie so much thoughout the day. Like he will feel so bad all day, and Percy will be like “Dude it’s fine, you don’t do it on purpose”

- Nico never states he’s gay, he’ll just wait for someone to say something homophobic and be “Oh you think that about gay people, well bitch I’m gay”. Then he’ll make the person flustered and embarrassed and Nico will just walk away.

- Will loves him for it. He introduced Nico to She-Ra and at first Nico hated it but then he started to low-key like it. He heavily related to Catra, Nico and Will 1000% ship Catrdora. They also watched the Owl House and defently ship Lumity.

- Mr.D is fiercely protective of the trans campers. He dosen’t show it much but he will care about them so much. He will easily switch pronouns and call them by there preferred name, he’ll get them binders or make them feel more comfortable.

- Chrion is high-key one of the most accepting people ever. He will literally die his hair and tail rainbow, he wears rainbow clothes. He will literally organize small groups of demigods going to Pride togther, that way not many monsters attack and they can have more fun.

- Anyone with homophobic or transphobic parents, stay year-round.

- The rule used to be “two people of the opposite gender, can’t be alone in a cabin togther”, then Chiron changed it to “ two people can’t be alone in a cabin togther” to be more inclusive. Then some of the campers who are in a polyamous relationship are like “Ha we don’t have to follow the rule”. Chrion was like fuck it “anyone in a relationship can’t be alone in a cabin with there significant other/others.

- Conner has tried breaking this rule and sneaking into the Athena Cabin and has gotten caught several times by the harpies. Malcolm being the little smartass he is, stole Annabeth’s invisibility cap and successfully snuck into the Hermes cabin several times.

- Aries kids go to pride parades to support the LGBTQ campers and will curse out all the homophobes protesting.

- Hephuetus Cabin making weapons for the LGBTQ+ campers. Lesbians get swords, gays get glaudius, bisexual get battle axes, demisexuals get daggers, pansexuals get poleaxes, aro’s get longbows, non-binary’s get nunchucks, ace’s get maces, trans gets tridents, ect. (Pretty much that fanart but in the PJO world) They become honorary weapons and save them in case a homophobic and transphobic army comes to camp, they’ll be prepared.

- The Flower Crowns the Demeter Cabin made can never wither or die.

- During Pride Month, the Big House will put pride flags around the edge of the roof. The Iris cabin encourages all cabins so put some rainbow somewhere outside there cabin. Most people put flags but the one that takes the cake is the Hades Cabin. Apparently the night before June 1st, Nico di Angelo with the help of Will Solace painted the entire cabin rainbow. This kinda surprised everyone.

- Drew isn’t straight at all. She was really just a closeted lesbian who had so much internalized homophobia because she had a homophobic dad growing up and lived in a homophobic environment. After a while she slowly starts to accept that part of herself and comes out of the closet like literally.

- Drew waited one night after dinner to tell her Cabin, she went into the closet of the Aphrodite cabin, put on a lesbian flag as a cape and did her makeup the lesbian flag colors, and just came out of the closet. The campers were in shock but loved her all the same. Drew became so much more open and showed more of the real her.

- She ended up dating a water nymph and loves her so much. The nymph brought a more kinder side to her and Drew became so much kinder and everyone knew it was because of her girlfriend.

- Drew teaches trans girls how to do there makeup.

- Lavinia Asimov introduced her girlfriend Poison Oak to Pride. They went to the nearest parade by Camp Jupiter.

- Poison Oak is defiantly a cottage core lesbian, you can not change my mind. Lavinia just gives me the Lesbian Artist Vibe.

- Both of them are in the LGBTQ+ support group at Camp Jupiter with Hazel.

- Hazel and Lavinia went on a shopping trip to the nearest mall, they both got plain white Vans and decided to paint them. Lavinia painted them the lesbian flag colors, Hazel painted them the pansexual flag colors.

- In New Rome, they will have Pride Parades all June. They’ll schedule it and decorate the place rainbow. They’ll put a shop and put flags, pins and stuff like that. The LGBTQ+ campers in Camp Jupiter go.

- At the Waystation, Jo and Emmie decorate a lot. They will have Pride everywhere and support anyone. They practically adopted Leo, Calypso and Lit.

- Lit’s kinda confused but Jo and Emmie teach him. Emmie makes rainbow cookies and they all go to Pride.

- Artemis is pretty much all the hunters adoptive mom. She accepts if two hunters fall in love with each other and leave the hunt. She’s still on good terms with them.

Feel free to add more!

@yjbatfamandmarchingband

@kittyplayz1cantmsg4somereason

@just-a-local-enby

@mariesunflowerchild

@la-folle-a-l-orignal

@loverofmazeandthrones

@hazellpjo

@aurelle

@spazshipping

Dedicated for all the people who wanted part two!

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thisnameisquitequeer · 5 years

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Here’s a little something that got stuck in my head and I can’t work until I get it out

tw: homophobic language, homophobia, frank discussions, language

It was a warm June day outside of Austin when Bert came to visit. Well, it was always warm in June, except when an occasional thunderstorm rolled through and made the air cool and filled with a presence that she could never quite describe. But Stella noticed this particular day in June was warm, because her Albertan guest insisted on whining about how hot it was and how could she wear jeans at a time like this and yada yada. “You know, if you keep yapping like that you’re gonna get lock jaw.” she said, bringing him a cold shiner boch to shut him up. He huffed a bit at that “well if your place wasn’t so humid all the time. It’s like walking through a swamp” Stella snorted at that “well if SOMEONE wasn’t from a place with air that’s dryer than a desert, you might be able to handle it big boy” She joked, playfully reaching over to ruffle his messy golden hair like she was want to do and then stuck her tongue out “ew you’re sweaty” She said, dramatically holding her hand away from her body as she went over to the kitchen to wipe it on a hand towel. Bert rolled his eyes at that, “I’ll wash my face before my beer then” he said, standing up the way he often did where he looked as if he’d lean over any further he’d topple over. “Do you got any peanuts to go with these beers?” he called to her from the living room. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” she responded back playfully. He would take that as a yes, and sauntered off to the bathroom Stella got to cutting up some fresh lime for their beers and getting out the beer salt and peanuts. But it wasn’t long until Bert was standing in the breezeway between the kitchen and the living room. “Oh hey Bert, I got everything ready. Do you want any of my jalapeno ja-” she said, turning her head to speak to him but stopping in her tracks when she saw him holding her pansexual flag that had been sitting on her dresser in her room. She didn’t know what to say but started off with “why did you go into my room?” and he gave her a squinty eyed look at that “you didn’t have soap in your guest bathroom, so I went to use the one in your room”. He explained, looking over the flag. “Why do you have this weird flag? And why isn’t it on the wall like your Texas and Come and Take It flags?” He said, confused. Stella had always been one to be honest and open about things. She could often be overly blunt or explicit but this was one conversation she did not want to have. “It’s nothing. Just, just put it back” She said, going back to cleaning her knife and putting away her things. That answer didn’t seem to satisfy Bert. “Why won’t you tell me what it is? You never keep secrets from me.” He said defensively, with an emphasis on me. The two were close and while Stella did keep some things private, she almost never kept things from Bert unless it was something government based. “It’s not a secret I just don’t want to talk about it, look can we just go to the living room and drink our beers. She said, trying to get past Bert, but he could see how sensitive and defensive she was getting about it so he widened his stance in the doorway so she couldn’t pass. Stella pouted at that. “You’re being very childish Bert” she informed him. But he insisted on not moving and stared her down. She sighed “fine.” Stella said, setting the food back down on the stove top. “But you know if I wanted you to move I could just pick you up and throw you right?” He gave a reluctant nod at that. Although he didn’t like the idea of the small lady being stronger than him, he had to admit between her large military base and a population ten times his he wouldn’t have been able to stop her if she picked him up. Stella closed her eyes for a minute. She didn’t enjoy the idea of telling him this, especially so soon but it looked like she didn’t have a choice. “it’s a...it’s a pride flag.” She said simply, hoping that would be enough. But he just looked more confused. “Like...like a gay thing? But I thought those were rainbows? Are you a dyke now?” He said, looking over the flag and Stella groaned because she had no way out of this conversation. “Jesus Bert, there’s other pride flags and please don’t use that word” Bert stuck his chin up at that, “oh so now my best friend is a queer and part of the pc police?” he said, his defensive nature only raising at being told what to do. Stella kicked herself mentally, if she wanted to get Bert to understand she should have known better than to tell him what to do. “It’s...it’s a pansexual pride flag” she finally said and Bert laughed “PAN-sexual, what even is that? Is that supposed to be a real thing?” He said, not taking this seriously at all. “I-it is a real thing it’s-” He cut her off to joke some more “is that code for carpet munchers, you know because you both like to be in the kitchen?” he joked and Stella just got embarassed at that. She tried to start again “It’s more complicated than-” But Bert just kept going “Since when did you get into this pride stuff? I didn’t think you’d be the type to parade around and act indecent” He said, and that was the point where Stella had had enough “Oh yeah?” She said, raising her voice as she walked closer to him. “well I didn’t think you were the type to run off and spend all summer a few years ago at some guys house? Did that Newfie guy teach you how to pack fudge? Did you get really good at bending over?” She said, poking him in the chest. Stella didn’t mean these things, but when she was hurt she was all venom and she would recall any slight or past misdeed from years or decades ago just to make sure the other person could feel as hurt as her. She was ready for a shouting match, but she seemed to have struck a nerve because Berts eyes went dark and he simply said “don’t.” before setting the flag on the counter and walking past her to get to the living room. Stella hated when he got like this. She was the type to let it all out to tell the person exactly how she felt, but when she really made Bert angry or upset he just receded into himself like a turtle and sometimes she could never get him to come out again. She gave herself a few minutes to cool off, before going to the living room with the snacks and quietly sitting next to him as he silently drank his beer. “Look Bert I...I went too far I shouldn’t have said that. You just...well for a couple months he was all you would talk to me about and you would blush while talking about him, and then you just tell me all of a sudden that you’re not coming to visit me in the summer because you’re gonna be at his house. Well, I just kind of assumed...that you two were a thing. This statement didn’t seem to make Bert less prickly, but Stella kept going. “I didn’t tell you about this because well...I didn’t know if you would understand. You and me are really different when it comes to love and I’m a lot older than you so I’ve had more time to figure this stuff out.” She looked at Bert expecting a response, but he just kept looking straight forward and drinking his beer. “When I used to dress up like a man...I would have girls try and flirt with me and dance with me or ask me for a kiss. I told myself that it was fine because they weren’t attracted to me, they were attracted to the man that they thought I was. But then...I started dressing like a man...even when I didn’t have to. I started going to bars like that, secretly hoping that I could flirt with girls. It’s still hard for me to say this, which is why I haven’t told you. I’m still...figuring this out.” Stella stared at Bert for a moment, expecting a joke or a crude comment but he didn’t even look at her. He just kept drinking his beer. She sighed “oh come on Bert don’t go silent on me, say something!” she said, always a bit frustrated by his silent treatment. “Do you want my approval or something?” Bert said a bit defensively. “Now you should know by now that I don’t need anyones approval Bertie” She said, trying to lighten the situation. “I don’t need you to approve or understand me. We’re two different people after all. But I want to be able to tell my best friend if I meet someone cute that I’m attracted to. And I’m not a lesbian, I still like men too. And if you happened to like men too. Well I would be happy to lend a ear if you found someone cute.” She offered, trying to make him feel a little more at ease. “Well...I guess that’s not so bad” He mumbled against the lip of his longneck. Stella smiled at him and patted his back. Why don’t we go take a dip in the pool after we finish our drinks?” She offered and Bert just nodded in reply. Stella hoped that this would all be okay in the end.

and THAAAAAAATS all I have for now. I’ve been thinking a lot about Stella and how I would classify her sexuality but probably the simplest way to put it is “it’s complicated...but probably pansexual” and I think that her and Bert both have a lot of complicated feelings when it comes to sexuality. I don’t think either character is truly homophobic, but they both have their own issues to work out Stella is my hetalia OC for Texas and Bert is the hetalia oc for Alberta that is used in the IAMP/PC universes

#aph Texas #projectcanada #iammatthewian #hetalia #hetalia oc #tw homophobia

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peri · 5 years

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❗🥰🏳️‍🌈🤔?

THANK U NOVA I APPRECIATE U SM

❗ when/how did you realize you were LGBT+?

skipping details of all my questioning and life-long suppression due to living in a extremely religious and homophobic household, i’d say i officially “realized” when i got a huge crush on an old bi friend (now ex) and found myself saying yes when she asked me out. this was maybe back in late 2016? idk for sure, timelines are hard for me. and yes it took me getting in a relationship to finally “realize” (or at least start identifying as lgbt)

🥰 have you ever been to a pride parade?

unfortunately no :

im hoping to go someday!!

🏳️‍🌈 do you own any pride things? flags, pins, etc?

no for the same reason listed above :

🤔 did you have any childhood signs that you were LGBT+?

so. fucking. MANY.

the only reason i hadnt embraced it / identified as it / etc etc sooner was Only due to the fact i was made to feel ashamed and hide my feelings abt these things. this goes for both my gender and sexuality.

sexuality-wise, ive always loved girls. i never saw anything personally wrong with girls kissing girls / anyone who wasnt a guy even from a very young age which, i didnt understand when my parents would point and say thats bad. but because of their behavior and hatred toward it, and my used-to-be quiet nature, i learned to not voice myself on it around them that eventually led to self-hatred and a tough time accepting myself for a long while. many more signs of my sexuality throughout my life i could list but yknow.

gender-wise, ive always felt a disconnect to gender. as y’all know, im nonbinary - agender if we wanna be specific. i feel no connection to gender whatsoever, but just use the umbrella term of nb more commonly.

anyways, tying up with my butchness as well i suppose, i never liked wearing makeup. my sister is big on makeup and has been ever since she learned how to use it. she used to always wanna put makeup on me and ive only allowed it like 3 times in my life, however every time led to me feeling really bad and i wasnt sure why / couldnt identify it bc i thought for a long time that i was a “girly girl” and even a femme when i first started using the lesbian term. but yeah i just really didnt like it and i wasnt sure why, considering all those things. spoiler alert: it made me dysphoric. as did everything i used to do to attempt to perform femininity because it caused me to be seen as female, tying me to a binary which i later learned was very damaging to me.

i remember the first time she put makeup on me, i was probably 5? 6? and it was only lipstick and some eyeshadow + blush i think. but after 5 minutes of it on, i panicked. i wasnt sure why at the time. i remember vividly, i wiped it off in the middle of the room and said “this isnt me, this isnt me!” and started crying and my sister made fun of me for being over-dramatic and told the whole family about it. at the time i wasnt sure why i had that reaction and didnt know until i embraced the fact i was nonbinary and also butch. so like. double-whammy. (not to say nbs cant wear makeup! we absolutely can. but for me, being afab, makes me uncomfortable and dysphoric.)

i kinda went on a longish one abt my gender didnt i. KDJDDJF i could say MUCH MORE abt it all bc talking abt gender is like. almost a special interest to me?? i love talking abt it all.

❓ when did you start questioning?

sexuality, i started seriously questioning the label of it all around age 14/15 id say, and facing thats what i actually was finally.

gender, i never rly had a … “questioning” moment for? i kinda just always. was. just didnt have the words for it. which ig u can say the same for my sexuality, but this was much easier for me to accept once i found the label for it. however i didnt come out abt it until i met my gf actually, bc i used to think it didnt matter enough to mention since, at the time, she/her pronouns were fine with me and everything like that (which i ofc later found out makes me v uncomfy, alongside other things like that) but im rly glad i did and embraced it more and allowed myself to be my most authentic self💚

💚send me an emoji asking pride month questions!

#aiden talks to gems #schlurplek #aiden's prompts #tysm 4 asking sm i love talking abt this stuff

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kivablog3 · 6 years

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Sylvia’s Cooking

I just got my first Stonewall 50 email. At the bottom of the email in the small print it says Heritage of Pride™, which means it’s still run by the same guys as always, except under more scrutiny now, after getting the march on Channel 7 and with the whole world coming next year to physically or spiritually fit into that little pie-wedge space on Christopher Street where the Stonewall Inn bar is located. This World Pride thing isn’t just an advertising slogan they came up with at HoP, it’s a Thing, like Stonewall 50’s a Thing. My therapist, who’s very active in the community and probably gets lots of interesting emails from various Things, told me it happens at a different city’s Pride each year.

And next year, of course, they’re coming to New York, because it’ll be the 50th Anniversary of the night Sylvia Rivera and her friend Marsha P. Johnson (who I never met, and who may have thrown the first punch, there are scholarly debates on this point, but I am told that Sylvia firmly insisted that she was the first one who punched a cop, it’s like the debate over Lexington and Concord, they’re not sure exactly where the Revolution started but we know that they started it) threw out the first punches to start the legendary three-day riot, rather than just get in the police van like always, right in front of the Stonewall Inn. The night the drag queens finally began to fight back. It made a sound heard ‘round the world, and it’s still reverberating, and if anything really changed the course of history in that wretched year of 1969, that surely did.

It reached me in the front seat of our car when I was with my mom one Saturday, when for once my sister wasn’t with us. I used to like tagging along on her Saturday visits to her office, wherever that was. As we were about to drive away from the small airfield where she worked as a secretary to go to some thing where co-workers were already playing bad country music, I asked her what a homosexual was. It was a sunny day and there was no one else around for a mile in any direction. It was the Summer of 1969, of course, and I was eleven years old.

I can only suppose this is just after I’d heard of Stonewall in the news. It was the first time I’d ever brought up sex as a topic of discussion with my mother, and I did this with some trepidation. I sort of knew this wasn’t her favorite topic of conversation generally, sex, much less transgressive sex. The kind hippies had. Maybe some of them were homosexual, who knew? So I persisted in my line of inquiry. What I didn’t know was that she’d been waiting for some version of that question ever since she’d stopped dressing me in dresses, when I was two.

She put the transmission back in park, turned the engine off, sighed, and for once didn’t light a cigarette before we started what turned out to be a lengthy, meandering conversation, which wandered after a while into related and then tangential topics, and which ended with me correcting her on some minor misunderstandings as to how gonorrhea was transmitted, at which point things kind of ground to a halt and she started the car up.

The whole thing probably took an hour. She used to joke that she’d had the Talk with me, the generalized birds and bees talk, because we did touch on conventional sex and How Babies Are Made, but that I had ended up explaining some things to her, instead, which shouldn’t have surprised her. I did read a lot, after all. I probably already knew a couple of things about homosexuals, but I wanted an explanation of how they actually Did It, and as squirmy as that made me, I wheedled it out of her. I could’ve asked her more about how a male-female couple had sex, but that wasn’t what was on my mind. She wasn’t happy about it, and did her best to make it clear that it was all gross and disgusting. I think she made a face when she was explaining lesbians to me. I liked the sound of the word the first time I heard it, tbh: Lesbian. It sounded soft and fuzzy.

I remember wondering about the feasibility of anal sex, as she sketchily and hastily outlined it, which apparently was what men did together; but what women did together sounded really kind of fun and not nearly as difficult. She didn’t want to talk about that, though, and I do remember that it was around there that the discussion went off into the weeds, to things related and not. Eventually we ended up at syphilis and gonorrhea (aka “VD,” or venereal disease, where venereal=“vaginally transmitted,” rather than “of or having to do with the goddess or planet Venus” — clearly a term invented by men) and I explained some of the then-current science on transmission to her, i.e., you don’t catch it from dirty toilet seats in public restrooms. Not girls, not boys, it’s a myth, mom. They told us in science.

All that was fifty years ago, as of next June. The following June, in 1970, they had the first Christopher Street Liberation Day March, so 2020 is the fiftieth anniversary of the March. But next year is the Big One. It looks like this anniversary will be just as controlled and careful as the 25th anniversary in 1994 was huge and utterly chaotic and wonderfully random, with 200,000 marchers from around the world. We took over Central Park. We took over freakin’ Midtown. It rocked.

Well, not next time. No more of that anarcho-festive celebration stuff. Now you have to be part of a signed-up contingent to be part of the march, and those slots are limited. And no more hopping in-and-out from the sidewalk, apparently. They want everyone in a marching contingent to wear the same t-shirts, ffs. It has to be controlled, as well as going backwards (starting a few blocks north of Christopher, past the Stonewall the wrong way, and up Fifth Avenue, what the fuck?) I’m told some of the people in the Village are tired of the crowds and the noise. They can do what people do in Austin when SXSW comes along: leave town. Tiniest quantum violin playing.

Now that it’s a TV show, I guess it has to run on time and look good on camera. They’ll have a beautifully made-up drag queen doing commentary like last year, along with the usual probably-white cis-guy-&-cis-gal parade anchors. I don’t know where they find those. It’ll become another tradition soon, that trio as parade anchors, now that scientists have established that str8 people in statistically significant numbers will watch drag queens on television and thus advertising time can be sold for this event. It’ll be just like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, or the Fourth of July, only with One of Us in the booth along with two of them.

“And you know, Mike, the rainbow flag has been a unifying symbol in the LGBT community since it was first designed in 1978, and did you know that originally it had eight stripes….” There will be carefully-timed performances in front of the Stonewall, and commercial breaks. Some of the stories people tell will break your heart, some will make it sing. Plus commercials, did I mention the commercials? You can record it and FF through them. I did. I stopped this year to watch Chelsea and Rusty talking about Sylvia, which is what makes me think of them all, along with the fact that Sylvia and Marsha deserve statues, and you get reminded of that every June. I’d love to have a statue of the two of them at the Stonewall National Monument, which technically is the little triangular pie-slice shaped park, the benches and the wrought-iron fencing, where you can sit next to the statues representing gay men and women from the 1980s. They should add Sylvia and Marsha.

The whole parade on TV represents some kind of weird queer communications breakthrough, I guess. And now that it’s on every year, I suppose it has to be faaaaaaabulouss! I guess we can record it and go, too. And watch. There were some forums recently at the Center, maybe just one, where people could come and complain about the corporatization of Pride, and the most-of-us not marching thing, and the reverse-route thing where it just kind of ends around 28th Street for no apparent reason, and ask for things they won’t get, but that part’s over and it’s time for Early Bird sign-up.

Whatever. Sylvia and Marsha are the mothers of us all, both trannies and everyone else that fits under this patched, unwieldy tent called “LGBTQ.” We argue, some of us incessantly, about which part of the tent is what, and whether this part is even really part of the same tent as that other part of the tent, but no one argues with the fact that Sylvia and Marsha put up the first tent poles. That may not be the most elegant metaphor, but I’m going with it. Never apologize for your art.

And it’s kind of okay, I think now, or at least I’m trying to convince myself it is, that I never realized “who” Sylvia was, even though at least two people said I should talk to her because I was “interested in politics.” Hm? Oh, ok. No one ever said why. Ffs.

But it felt sort of like I knew Sylvia, the way it feels like I know these professors and other people who my wife works with, after I hear her describe them a few times. She’s a union delegate as well as a math professor, so she knows a lot of people. By now I also know a lot about professors in general. And in the same way I realized after a while from talking to people around T-House, conversations in which she came up, often at vital junctures, that Sylvia was the Mom around the place: she made dinner, I knew that much, and she did a lot of other things to keep Transy* House, Chelsea and Rusty’s house, from burning down, falling over, and sinking during those raucous years around the end of the 20th century. She seemed quite nice when I was introduced across a crowded room downstairs, which actually happened twice I think. She smiled and said hi, I do remember that. She seemed nice.

That, in and of itself, was quite difficult for some people I was around back then — this was and still is New York, the Attitude Capital of the Western Hemisphere and, during Fashion Weeks, the Tribeca Film Festival, and the General Assembly, perhaps the world — but from my brief impression she seemed genuine, and older in a reassuring way when I was twenty years younger. She gave off these hippie-mama vibes, just by making dinner. In a house where a whole lot of chaos happened, and necessarily so given how many trans kids with no other home came through there — because Chelsea and Rusty never turned anyone away, not as far as I know — not to mention how much fun was had there on a regular basis, at least some of it destructive of property, she just looked to me, in a vortex of drama, like a pole of stability.

Maybe that’s shaped by how people talked about her. Everyone said how nice she was; but I wasn’t over there often enough to run into her when she was (a) there and (b) had a free moment, and didn’t know I should prioritize it anyway. And there were other people using up the oxygen in the room at any given time, including me. But it would have been awesome to truly know her.

I knew other people there, had my own reasons for being there. I lived with Kathleen and our two-year-old son in an apartment which was also on 16th Street, in Brooklyn, two blocks away. It was the Nineties, so it didn’t seem unusual to me that there was a house full of transfolx a short walk away, nor that my friend Jamie knew everyone there. Like, she knew everyone. She was the other pole of stability then, around the turn of the century. She doubtless knew Sylvia pretty well, and she probably told me enough to form an impression.

Now Chelsea and Rusty own a bookstore upstate, and T-House is long gone, replaced by the ineluctable tidal forces of gentrification, although there’s a queer history tour that stops at the site and tells a short version of The Story. I wish sometimes they could have a sort of T-House reunion, somewhere, somehow. I would very much like to find Jamie again, even if only online. And I do still wish I’d gotten to talk with Sylvia.

#HistoricalNearMisses

__________

Footnote: Everyone back then except Chelsea, more or less, called it that, but without the “s,” if you get what I mean. We don’t say it anymore, at least not when younger transfolx are around. People get really upset, and if it’s only been used to hurt you it’s a painful word, I get that. Yet it was our word then, and it didn’t hurt at all. It was a warm, friendly word. It was what we called each other, lovingly, and no one else had any reason to use it, and I miss it.

this article also appears at https://medium.com/@kivazo/sylvias-cooking-1b1b4f24e780

#trans #gender #transgender #transsexual #trans lesbian #LGBTQ #LGBT #Transy House #Sylvia Rivera #Gay Pride #Stonewall 50 #World Pride

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kaitlynabdou · 6 years

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Let me start this off by apologizing! I had intended on writing this blog ON Saturday after the Pride Festival but got into a car accident (mild fender bender!) on my way home. After that my whole evening was shot, and Sami and I opted to drop in on my parents’ house to use their hot tub (which was awesome!) to soothe our aching legs. After that, I got caught up in sewing commissions, and writing Chapter 11 of The Daffodil Witch! (It’s here, go read it!! But after you read this haha.)

ANYWAY, Boston Pride! Let me tell you all about it and how AMAZING it was!

BEFORE THE PARADE

Leading up to pride, I knew that I didn’t want to just show up, watch the parade, and be done with it! I wanted to leave an impact somehow, even if it was only on a few people. A few years ago my father took me to NYC for New York Pride while on a business trip and I had dyed a rainbow streak into my hair in anticipation of it!

This year, I wanted to do something more and really make an effort. I wanted to be involved somehow, but it was too late to organize anything big!

I ordered myself an awesome ace pride pin (which I have been wearing every day since), did my nails in the ace flag colors, and made a rainbow flower crown to start!

Was that enough? Nope! I also ordered a bunch of mini rainbow flags and a roll of 500 heart pride stickers to hand out to people! THOSE were a huge hit! You would be amazed at how excited people got over the stickers. Even on the train into the city before Pride started, I ended up hanging out stickers!

Look at Sami, isn’t she cute? That brings me to our awesome outfits. Sami is a huge Star Wars nerd and had only JUST come out as a demisexual lesbian after a long time of questioning. She decided to rock her pride and ended up buying a really awesome pin while we were there!

I went into the city with Sami and Brendan, who is part of what I refer to affectionately as my ‘game night crew,’ a tight-knit group of friends who I see weekly for games and what we deem real-talks (I’ll talk more about that in another blog post! But we talk about some pretty serious topics and are all very close.) Brendan is not queer, but he was the one who wanted most to go to Boston Pride. He’s the best sort of ally you could want!

How fabulous are we?! And yes, Brendan IS doing the same pose in both photos. He’s a great ally and a great friend, but also a huge dork. See my skirt?! I struggled at first with the decision on my skirt. I knew I would make something festive, but I originally figured I would make a rainbow skirt to be super festive! Then it dawned on me that I could actually represent MYSELF as an ace at Boston Pride instead of just going in with the classic rainbow. I took to Facebook, and overwhelmingly, my friends suggested I go with the ace colors.

You can’t tell here, but each fabric is SUPER glittery, and Sami’s fishnets are covered in rhinestones. We like to be seen from space. If you ask either of us what our favorite color is, the answer will be, without hesitation: glitter!

OKAY so, on to the parade itself!

THE PARADE

Once we got into the city, it was a sea of rainbows, pink and glitter! We really couldn’t stop smiling and looking around. Rainbows were plastered in business windows, and flags were EVERYWHERE. It was an amazing feeling for me, as someone who has been out as queer almost my entire life–a feeling of being at home, of being safe, of being loved and included: a feeling of recognition. I can’t even imagine what Sami was feeling. Up until that moment, she had really only come out to maybe one or two people, and even when she came out to me it had been with the question of “am I allowed to identify as a lesbian if I dated a guy for so long?”

We ran into lots of awesome people we know, which was great! Took plenty of selfies. The first person we saw was our friend Danielle. Danielle is a wonderful specimen who somehow manages to show up everywhere at everything, and I run into her no matter where I go–EVEN IF IT IS IN A DIFFERENT STATE. We also saw my friend Lyndsey, who was representing fabulously in a Katsuki Yuri from YURI ON ICE! cosplay. Both of them walked in the parade (which we had planned to do until we got distracted by the lure of Starbucks coffee! Whoops!) Shortly after the parade started, we were joined by my friend Emmy, her younger sister and her friend Jennifer, who twinned with her in Wonder Woman regalia! (Don’t they look great?!)

The parade was amazing, of course! There was lots of free swag! Sami even got me this AWESOME Aladdin magnet, which I adore with every fiber of my being. (In case you don’t know, Aladdin is my FAVORITE Disney movie and always has been!)

The parade itself was LONG, as to be expected. I tried to take as many photos as I possibly could (I am not a photographer, and am used to not taking photos ever at events because I get immersed in them.) My phone died after a few hours and I wasn’t able to take as many as I would have liked, but here is just a bunch of them in a slideshow for you:

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Yes, I had a BLAST. I loved the parade. I screamed so much I was sure I would lose my voice. I saw SO many flags and so much diversity… but I noticed that ONE thing was missing: I didn’t see a single ace flag in the entire parade. Did this ruin my experience? Not at all, I still had an amazing time–but it did stick with me that I didn’t see Black, Grey, White, Purple anywhere in the parade, and it made it that much more poignant that I had decided to wear my own flag to proudly represent asexuals.

REPRESENTATION

The whole day, my companions and I were inactively on the lookout for more ace flags. We saw maybe three total the whole day, and I’m sure those people bought them ahead of time and brought them with them. This is why I am so happy I wore my ace colors rather than only rainbow.

I had at least fifteen instances where someone came up to me and thanked me for wearing the ace colors, or complimented me on my skirt and pointed out that they, too, were ace! I WISH my phone had not died, for I would have taken a selfie with every one of them to share with you. Alas, all I can do is share those moments that stuck out to me the most.

One girl I had noticed was lingering with her friends behind us outside of Starbucks as we watched the parade. They weren’t standing WITH the parade onlookers, but up against the building. I had noticed a few times that they were looking at me, and thought maybe they wanted a sticker. Before I could offer one, I was distracted by friends joining us.

Maybe a half hour into the parade, one of the girls stepped over and tapped my shoulder.

“I love your skirt,” she said. Her voice was weak and quiet, and I could tell she was shy.

I offered her a big smile and thanked her. Then she showed me the small, ace-flag earrings she wore and the ace-flag nail polish she had done and smiled shyly at me. I think she was probably in her teens. She was small, shy, and intimidated looking. I told her they were awesome, gave her and all her friends stickers. Then I saw a look in her eye and knew that she was going to cry. I hugged her tightly, and she held on for a while.

Even as I’m writing this, I’m tearing up myself. I don’t think she expected to see ace representation at the parade. Asexual erasure is a real problem–with the queer AND straight community. I touched on this before in my Pride Month post. We are made to feel like we don’t exist like we aren’t valid. I hope that this moment, for her, was an eye-opener. I hope she feels valid now, because I am sure by the way she cried and was afraid at first to look me in the eye that she was not at all confident in herself.

This happened over and over throughout the day. I got hugs, I was thanked, I had people scream “I LOVE YOUR SKIRT!” over the crowds of people when they couldn’t get close enough. People showed me their small, and sometimes hidden, ace memorabilia. One girl who had to have been 13 if she was a day ran up to me with wide eyes, took my hands and said. “You are beautiful!”

I was overwhelmed by her.

Credit

Next year, I am already planning to attend pride again, but I want to REALLY make a difference this time. I want to register in the parade and form a group of asexual and demisexual people to walk with. I want us to fly our flags proudly, to wear our flags, to carry signs that remind everyone that WE EXIST and WE ARE VALID.

Sami was also inspired by pride. She wants to organize a cosplay group to walk in the parade for next year–and has even made a group on Facebook (a global group) for LGBTQ+ Cosplayers! She wanted to create a safe place for queer cosplayers to gather, network, chat and share! Check it out!

Thank you to everyone who came to me to show their appreciation for my representation. Thank you for making my Boston Pride experience so memorable!

IMPORTANT LINKS

Sami’s Links Tumblr Facebook LGBTQ+ Cosplayers

Lyndsey’s Links Website Facebook Twitter

Boston Pride Festival and Representation Let me start this off by apologizing! I had intended on writing this blog ON Saturday after the Pride Festival but got into a car accident (mild fender bender!) on my way home.

#ace #ace pride #asexual #boston pride #cosplay #lgbt #lgbtq+#lifestyle #parade #Pride #pride month #queer #queer pride

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succulentsstars · 6 years

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Deleted/Unlisted Video notes

So a few months ago, I came across a list of some unlisted and deleted D+P videos and decided that for my own personal interest as well as some others’ perhaps, I might take some notes. Though I initially tried to keep my personal opinion out, I️ eventually gave in So if you’re interested- here it is! Unlisted/Blocked Video Notes Phil- 79 Dan- 36 3 videos a day average 23 a week AT LEAST 2005 38 uses for a cushtie Feb 7 P- 18 D-13 • Never uploaded to YouTube • Mother in kitchen • Hedgehog and lion (not the) on bed • Buffy cutout • Cream corner couch • In childhood home • Unknown ‘girlfriend’ • Dad at computer • W/ four friends. Guy and three girls. • Girl w/ pixie cut • Girl with eyeliner • White Calvin Kline underwear • Girl w/ eyeliner again • Turtle? • Guitar red • Another unknown girl • Another unknown girl • Unknown guy • At some sort of pool? 2006 Awaiting the Tide Feb ?? P-19 D-14 • First vid uploaded? • Beach setting • Black hair/short/spiked • Plays Micheal • Mellisa • Louise • Argue over Phil • Terrible acting • “Sorry girls I’ve chosen Daniel” • Licks horse?kangroo? (Donkey) • Blue walls/living room? • Blue carpet • In Phil’s childhood home living room • April Harper • Victoria Maclean The game- a short horror film set in future March 12 P-19 D-14 • Described in Tatinof • Hair getting longer • In Phil’s uni room • Picture wall • Kill bill above Phil’s bed • Lesbian couple • White Levi’s shirt • Door has bathroom like handle • Rooms numbered • Door to left of entry hall, then switch back staircase • They all come out of this door, maybe this was Phil’s room? • Other door on left between Phil’s door and staircase • Shower labels • Shower room separate from sink (to left) • Downstairs door? • At least three levels • Sink on second level across from stairs to right is shower • Two doors? To right of shower on wall • Three girls and four boys? (Including Phil) • Entry hall has at least two doors on left and at least one on right • Third level- two doors on left • Door across from stairs leads to bath (room) and closet? • First door on left third floor is bedroom • Kitchen is on first floor opens up to other area with lots of doors? Concrete floor • Fiona Sheldon- one of two lesbian couple, dark brown, long dark brown hair, brown eyes? • Pete tannion. Thin glasses, slight under chin beard. Thick eyebrows. Light brunet • Cat Lofthouse. Little bigger, shoulder length mid brunette hair • Rob Davies. Mid brown hair, half bowel ish hair, thick ish glasses • Tessa Blake. Other lesbian. Short dark brunette hair • Andy Day. Played killer. Really spikey hair brunette. • Andy helped Phil write it My first videos Aug 13 P- 19 D-15 • Complication • Someone taking shots? • Kitchen • Four girls in their house living room- big tv, white flap curtains, dark green walls? • Two walking outside by fence • Unidentifiable song • Other room w/ computer in corner • Karrina and Phil • Pool • Mum/ family at Grand Canyon • Australia • Martyn! • More shots • Australia • Kangaroo • Laughing with Ella in house bedroom Kerrina visits my House Sept 21 P- 19 D-15 • In Phil’s childhood home • Orange Jacket • Black hair getting longer • Starts in oranger and yellow striped room with multicoloured bedspread • Fancy glass and wood front door • Grey car out front • Kerrina dirty blonde with over shoulder length hair • Yellow armchairs in living room (2) facing tv • Yellow couch to left, facing wall • Blue pool table behead a chair • Phil can juggle (sorta) • Playing bubble bobble • Phil bossy with game • Jeremy Kile show • Old phone flip phone • Finding ringtone • It’s a lion • HUGE backyard? • Fenced in by orange wall? • FUCKING PALM TREES ON RIGHT • stone walkways in fountain?? • Door covered in pictures • American flag on ceiling • Looking out at backyard from room • Window across from door Strange Dreams (Episodes 1-5) 18 Nov P-19 D-15 • ‘The mystery lion’ • Rapid voices • Almost bald? Guy in glasses/ black winter clothes • Phil has long hair • In green shirt • Steve the giraffe • In Phil’s childhood home • In bedroom • Buffy stickers in door • ‘The journey’ • Phil in hoodie • Room change • ‘Wake up’ • In bathroom • Wooden door • Old camera • Coming up stairs into hall • Into multicoloured bed room • Ian? • ‘Dreaming’ • ‘Man from future’ • Glass room W/ houseplants plants • Me and Anja Test My Camera Dec 27 P-19 D-15 • Phil likely visiting family on Christmas vacation • Filmed Christmas Day • Hair not nit to shoulder • Bw striped shirt+ black jacket • Hold wall • Anja- hair lot like Phil’s- Black, fringed • Window from Pinof! (Crappy church window) • Camel • Definitely in Phil’s house • In hall • Simon the camel • Photo with door to left of window in hall • Pressable screen?!? Omg! • Weather in 1242 haha • “Very welcome...Phil and Anja are going to shout happy Christmas now” “child” omg Phil’s mum calling him child I love her • To Alex • Barking at you? • Bye • Going to play board game now, rapido 2007 Car Journey to Leeds Feb 4 P-20 D-15 • New Year’s Eve • Dark hair, styled shorter • Mark is driving • Dark b hair, bowel ish cut • Raining • Emily is back left- shoulder length straight platinum blonde, somewhat round face • Victoria is back right- wavy brown hair thicker eyebrows. From awaiting the Tide videos • “Hello Philip” • Emily Resolutions “eat less crap do more exercise get with less dickheads” • Mark- “your grandchildren are going to see that Emily” • Phil says Emily and Victoria going to kiss • At midnight • Now! • No • We’ll have you having sex on the back of the ** in no time • Mark roar like a lion • Emily’s going to kiss Phil • YESS! • Wait no I’m going to change that • Phil in green tee shirt • They do little kiss • Highest motorway in world • Yesterday is calling me Big Ben strikes 12 Mar 1 P- 20 D-15 • In front of Big Ben on corner of road going towards it and road going past it • In London • It’s 12 • Slightly longer hair • White shirt with black stripes on sleeves • Freind with glasses who looks like mr sersion • Ian? • Maybe Pete Tannion his roommate? Awaiting the Tide 2 Mar 1 P-20 D-15 • Michael- Phil • In yellow diagonal stripe tee • Hair covering neck • Melissa and Louise • Episode two return to the beach • Pans over flower bed • In orange stripe room • Palm tree • Has sunglasses folded in shirt neck • Singing along to perfect day? • Outside house? • In glass greenhouse thing • Tv in there • Redish wood house • No it’s Phil’s fence • Filmed at Phil’s house • Louise has dog grey? Biggish lion, turtle?, and rabbit? Stuffed animals • Wearing old reindeer antlers Phil had on facebook profile • Sitting with Melissa in living room? With dark wooden doors? And green couches and curtains • Hold hands and skip • Fancy place with hill overlook, pillar like fence, Roman • At top of Phil’s yard- upward hill to right • Old lady? His grandma? • Care home?? • Room with yellow bed sheets • Fake gun • In yellow sitting room- not Phil’s house? • “I care about Micheal so much but now he’s with Daniel” lol • Haha terrible acting • To be continued • April Harper • Victoria Maclean- went to Leeds • • Phil’s Video Blog- 18th March 2007 Mar 18 P-20 D-15 • Hair almost brownish? Maybe camera • Green green hoodie • I’m back at home now • Thanks for all the giraffe names • Cuts to pic with Phil and giraffe (at uni) • Prize is amazing • His pet goldfish Nemo- covered in black splotches • Laying in tank • People kept saying it’s going to snow • Just a bit of snowflakes • Have to get on plane on Tuesday • Anxious • Sick of winter weather • Going to Florida • Mother’s Day • 1 year since first vlog • Lol bad editting • Haven’t changed much • Videos too long • Gets animal- lion • Grandma visited- shows her • Welsh in her head- doesn’t know it • V old • Gives thumbs up 10/10 grandma • Martyn visits • In glass room • VC? What it means • It snows!!! • Grandma there next day • Wow pics of subscribers • Have a great waster • • Florida One- Intro and Gatorland Apr 7 P-20 D-15 • Brownish hair • Down to neck • L blue shirt • Arrived in Florida- at house • V white • Shows street • Looks like typical neighborhood but nice and with palm trees • Shows house • Not one in 2017- only one floor • White Mini Cooper??? • Ian has come on holiday with us • Short short brown hair, thin glasses • Lake behind house • Mum and Dad! • At Gatorland • At squirrel paths • The sun is too hot Florida Two- More Gatorland Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • Same day • “Yes!” With Mom • Shows Dad and Mom lots • Steve Jenny Sarah susa • Feeds llama • Ian scared • At show Florida Three- Horror Movie Trailer Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • New day • Phil in Forrest green tee • We’re going exploring • In cap, Gatorland? • Orange yellow sunglasses • With Ian • Only? • Wading through Forrest and falling • ‘The trees have ears’ • “Probably gonna die out here” Florida Four-Old town, hair dye, strange dream Apr 9 P-20 D-15 • Old town is amusement park • Ferris wheel opening shot • Sky dive? • Red truck parade? • Hula dancer • At gift shop • Someone thrown from bull ride • Ride like wimpy kid movie • Rocky on tv • Pointing camera in mirror • Yellow tee with Florida • Baseball cap • Ian walks in- dared to dye his hair blonde • Black and white filter-blogs about dream • Checks himself out in camera hello • In my garden having picnic- room was glowing, ran over my video camera (he’s vlogging with) started to melt ran over- room started shaking big flash of light “oh god I’m going to die” then woke up in strange room got dragged out by man and Phil had red tattoo on arm. Man told him to get in line getting scanned green or red- shooting red people. Phil got green- he’s troop leader, got star. Blackness out window. In lecture room “welcome to new age of humanity” realest dream • Wants to go back • Sounds like Dan lol • Ian is ginger-y • Phil put in text it was ginger • Little giggle Alligator eats raccoon Apr 10 P-20 D-15 • Unlisted • Same yellow shirt? • Brownish long hair • Alligator in our garden- Liam • Jumped out of lake and ripped raccoon in half • Birds watching • In Florida House • Alligator flinging raccoon • Probably unlisted for violence Florida Five- Disney Mouse Ears April 10 P-20 D-15 • First shot in car • Orange tee shirt • Making faces • Drive through Disney gate • “Disney World” • Zooms on Ian • Walking to Epcot with parents and Ian in front of him • Orange shirt says dp haha my emotions • “I’ve put on this orange T-shirt to distract people from Ian’s hair” aww he’s so cute • “Cheers Phil” • The Seas with Nemo and Friends • Caption says ‘worst ride EVER’ aw :( • Ian says his experience is rubbish • In space ride? • ‘We got bored of America’ ‘so we went to Japan’ • Watching drum show • Koi pound • Phil in wizard hat • Ian in bob Marley Mickey ears • Phil in hatter hat • Ian in pirate hat • Phil in... spider hat??? • Mom in Minnie ears and Dad on top hat w/ ears lean in together • Holy cow all these hats • Finally settled on pirate • “We’ve become a family of mice” • “Are you filming?” “Yes” “ask me something” “phil?” “Yes?” “Do a micky Mouse impression • Idk what he says • ‘Oh my god’ • Wearing swim shorts • Attacking elephant statue • Meal of salt • Ian try’s to cut it • Fireworks display • Over lake??? • Showing obscure stuffed toys • Dinner noises in back Florida six- who is right?! April 11 P-20 D-15 • In green striped polo • Tan wall • Sitting in bed? • No hands so must be on tripod • Hi • Me and Ian didn’t agree on a lot of things on holiday- let us know who’s right • Mouths I’m right • This room really echos • What is size of platepus • Phil thinks it’s smaller • Different shirts • Phil green with star • Penguins (emperor) Ian-4 ft Phil-1ft • ‘I saw Davey ***?” ???? • Most haunted real? • Phil thinks fake • Phil likes Ian’s hair- Ian doesn’t • Phil’s shoes • Don’t even bring the shoes up • Ian hates them • “The best shoe ever” • Other than that we’ve got on this holiday • Phil punches Ian The tornado and the Comic Book April 30 P-20 D-15 • Opening shot of tornado white in yard • Just looks like dust • Sunny day • In a car • With Ian • Lol his blonde hair • Him and Ian making animal noise in car • Green and white baseball cap with diamond? • Wow I️ didn’t even notice how light his hair has gotten WOW • Written on paper “Ian is a liar you don’t need a gun to kill him” in all caps • Phil slashs paper across his neck • Denny’s • Orange world pass by • Celebration Ave • Driving • “I️ was the only survivor of the tornado encounter” • Tells Ian he’s supposed to be dead • “Sell my body to strangers on the street to make a living and maybe eat the occasional pigeon” • “This is my final broadcast, goodbye everyone it’s been fun” • 1974-1948-1963 • First bomb has hit New York • “Drive Sebastian DRIVE” @ his Dad Phil’s wilding lol • Rorr • Phil’s Dad says something • Someone’s being arrested lol • Steven Speilburg is on a cloud • “Give me your money or dragon will die” • ‘Dad told me to calm down’ written on screen wow it’s so weird to think of Phil as teen • Boring tv • Bites lip • About maths • Parents talking indisctiily • He gets it wrong and everyone laughs • His mom suggests two times table • I️ love his mom • • Alternative Muse Trailer- MEWS Sept 15 P-20 D-16 • Starts w toys • Narrator? Professional • “Coming soon the amazing new album from MEWS • Meowing Muse songs • Sounds kind Phil • Cuts to Phil and Ian in his bedroom meowing and laughing • Phil’s hair is p black again • Phil laughed • They kept laughing • “C’mon, meow- seriously” • There’s literally Buffy everywhere Phil is the real stalker here • Weird ceiling pattern • At home Christmas Monkey December 23 P-20 D-16 • Four people • Phil- hair black and shoulder length • Ian??? Or Pete • Girl in red with long aburn hair cat??? • Guy with duty blonde buzz cut • Ian in antlers • One word stories about monkey • “And-the-monkey-lived-happily-ever-dead” • Probs in dorm 2008 Coin of Destiny Jan 9 P-20 D-16 • Still stock cabin image with title written • Blonde guy??? • Holding duck • Knock at door • Pete comes in • “Hi Jake, tommy” • At dorm??? • In room ugh light blue walls and pool table and jaws poster • Nvm it’s Phil’s house • Coin- endless fortune or pain • Tosses it • At Phil’s house • Phil and someone??? • Stroking things plus noises • Welcome to year 3000 • Heads • “Lucky child” lol • Other guy on hall floor? • Idk him???? Latino looking • In tan room • Ian saves Jake • At gate of destiny • Blonde girl (don’t know???) • Welcome to the gate of eternal destiny • His hair is so long fml • Guy shows up to kill girl Ian saves her • Ben Dawson as Jake • Emily pepperday as gatekeeper • Mark hesketh • Stephan claxon • Danish Mahmood • Filmed at 3 am aww my B.B. • “I️ love you guys” I️ love you Phil Prague #1- Arrival Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on empty train platform outside • Three guys (or girl one w/ long hair) • “We’re just waiting for the train everyone’s a bit bored” • One guy is doing this dance thing and jumps into the other’s arms • Hangs down • Starts doing sit ups and makes a kissy noise • Guy hold him pretends to slap his face • Jumpcut to room • Guy w/ black long hair dancing • Steven • Omg Phil’s hair is down to shoulders • Pretty black • Wearing blue hoodie • Room is small • “Got our own bathroom so no sharing with scary men” • Likes painting on wall (rose) • Phil bonded with Andy on the plane • Ian • Little quiz for people at home • Andy or Phil? They are facing back • Andy is one w/ long black hair • Lion hate • Ian reading paradise bar card • Sexy women on it • Private dance, go go dance, lap dance • Whistle • Maybe he’ll visit Tomorrow • Describes day • Phil didn’t like English pub at first • Angie made the lion hat • Steven posed naked with lion hat over his crotch • Shows actual picture • Andys in bed Ian’s asleep • Slow mo jump • Everyone has own twin bed Prague #2- Exploring Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on town/city • We’re in old town square • Gothic towers • Really big Christmas tree • Astronomical clock • ‘Anticlimax’ in text as clock goes off • Going to top of tower • Phil looks like snape with a tan scarf lol • View from top • Tower has the highest suicide rate in Europe • Phil runs up to camera and says fascinating • Steven sniffing maniquen • Zoo on her head • Wow so pretty • Soldiers • Do a little skip • Harry and Hermione good graphite drawings from ootp • Picture slideshow • Show with clown dude 20 Days Mar 8 P-21 D-16 • Text ‘20 Days’ • Sped up • Math socks • Hair v long and black • Got to write 1000 words in 24 hours • Opens textbook and flops his face into it • At college? • Has hiccups • Someone films him flipping pancake • Shirts keep changing • Feather woman • Going in car wash at night • Hanging upside down • Had little blue haired figure ‘I don’t want to write another 2000 words’ • Matching couple going down stairs • Fiona- brown hair with bangs • And Seth • We’re going shopping together • Ill • W coffee • Lion • Outside in fenced in • Wow 20 Days went by fast • I️ think I️ need to start appreciating each day • What are you doing today? • Maybe..you should.. do something memorable • =] Zac Efron for President April 9 P-21 D-16 • Hello • Sea blue shirt • Weather channel saw his last video • Give us sunshine again • Andrew somethings video • He got jones soda • I’m unidentified place with white • It’s can • Angry • He’s in Florida • New tshirt • Went shopping during rain • Got matchy watch • A lizard climbed the tree outside didn’t film it • Badgeline • Zac efron for president • On button • Sea monkeys Katie sent • Ling ling painted lion • Wow this vid is so cringe lol AmericanPhil April 15 P-21 D-16 • Phil is doing American accent • Watching baseball and drinking Gatorade • Holy cow it sounds so weird • Oh it’s another dude speaking • I️ think? • Totally awesome The sliver button May 3 P-21 D-16 • I️n Florida still • Duvet in background • Shiny button on house plant • Somethings coming • Has scarf on head • Change in dimension • Black white now • 1000s of people all watching • I️ can see your eyes you’re all staring right back at me • Sock puppet • Not again • On flip phone • No orange button • Stop watching video • Fake crying • Selfish people • Sock eats him • Never be able to understand what you’ve just done • Entered vid in competition • *competitiom cancelled Sock perfection May 8 P-21 D-16 • Still in Florida • So excited • Are you ready for something exciting • Shoe sock • He’s so happy omg • Red striped shirt Stuff #3 May 25 P-21 D-16 • Text- ‘there was a folder on my computer called ‘stuff 3’ it contained 15 videos and one song’ • I️ challenged myself to make a montage in 10 minutes • Girl saying hello Philip and something about a flip • Dark blue room with guy in red sweatshirt walking away • Anja roaring • Someone in glassed in pool • Phil’s mum is filming • ‘It’s a video’ • Aw she’s so cute • Looks like pool from 2017 Florida trip with dan • They stay in same house! • Red sweatshirt guy ‘You’re editing this film not me’ • Phil in purple tee in front of bushes • Clip of Phil wearing watch • Family • At his dorm with Christmas tree • Clip of guy? • His giant Backyard • City? • I️ am sat on the floor DANGER! June 20 P-21 D-17 • Essay- got a 53% • Upset • Fiona’s Birthday- video • Ben’s Birthday • Booked place with sauna and stuff- recommends • Messy room- dorm?? • Hair is lots shorter • Slightly lighter? • Sped up footage of party • Shot glasses?!? • Girl and at least three guys • Standing in a kitchen • Singing happy birthday • Two girls- four guys • (5?) • Phil likes house • People playing twister • Swimming pool • Ping pong and pool table • Three people dancing on balcony • Girl squished her boobs • In swimsuit • The happening- thought it was going to be really cool • Didn’t like it too much- awkward • Nobody talks like that • Pops pink balloon with hands • Fake cries • Mom is from north- Dad from down south • Mix of two • *accents • Does north accent Curious Mico Aug 10 P-21 D-17 • Hair getting longer • Blue shirt • Orange and wears a tie question time with Mico • Has red guitar • Real? • I’m his brother’s room at moment • Martyn- sure he’s been in one of my videos before • Pic of martyn skateboarding • Weirdest thing in room- loud koala alarm clock • He has new has • Bell- rang it in shop and got shouted at • At the moment really likes mire cats • And polar bears • Marks cat • Cute laugh • 4 In morning about to go to bed • Look down and he stepping on Mouse • Cats are vicious killers • Superstition bc Mom • Fingernails, shoes • Don’t say “I️ hope you die on your birthday” • Makes weird noises • And it noises people • Footage breaks down • “Rest in peace Mico” Dude, an amazing forest hurricane! Oct 5 P-21 D-17 • Other people • Wearing shirt from profile omg first one I️ recognized • Three people- two guys and girl- all long brown hair • Zebra • “We call a zeebra a zebra” “REALLY?””Yes, you were wrong” • Holy cow the girl looks/sounds kinda like Cat (caterific) • Central Park • Doing story • Umbrella • We’re in New York • In band • John • Space exhibition- which was boring • Snacks- discussing biscuits • Abbry • Nvm two girls • At natures museum • It’s a squirrel pig • Re: The BEST advice Oct 27 P-21 D-17 • Close up on face • Purple shirt • ‘Hi andrew’ • ‘My name’s Phil, I’m from England’ • We say the word like this • SORRY • Growls 2009 AmazingPhil Big Brother Audition Jan 13 P-21 D-17 • At home- in his bedroom • Wearing cat whiskers • Omg • Hi- meow • My name’s Phil I’m a boy and I️ make video diaries on YouTube • Jumpcut to lobster • Bare chested- towel tied around shoulders • I’ll join the gym at university • “And then I’ll be irresistible” • God he’s hot • Christmas vacation • Feels need to tone myself • Used to talking into camera • Likes lions • Like these shoes • Like these boxers- musical note ones (Dan has worn them fml) • Doesn’t want to be put with annoying famous people • “So please pick me” • “And I️ will give you a kiss on the face” SNOW April 29 P-22 D-17 • Snow filter • Animals noises • Red shirt • Just making faces ☠️ April 30 P- 22 D-17 • Purple ish footer • Amazing eyes • I️ can hear a noise • I️ can hear someone coming closer and closer to my room • Filter switches • Puts string in mouth • Screams with beep • Pretends to die Bradley Sept 22 P- 22 D-18 • Been really long time since video • Doing American accent • Get naked • BW shirtless jumpcut • Lessamazingphil everyday • Went to wales • Thought he was was going to get serial killered • They were driving • Moving ball of fluff • With friends • Badger • Never seen badger • Badger through itself in front of car • Killed it • Haunted by badger and ferret • Bought glasses today • Called Seth • Checker shirt change • Actually blind • Bradley gave eyetest • Eyelid rape • American cup • Lol it’s a yellow solo cup • Going back to Florida in April • Parents want to get house there • Used to this face • Twice a year in flordia • Writes “a really freaky woman has moved in” • “Hello, I️ will be here for two weeks” • Writes- ‘she keeps her butter in the cupboard • Moving out on Wednesday • Moving back to Manchester forever • So he’s still at uni rn • Going to become a man • Love you all a lot • Battery died • Lion and lioness • Green grapes Flashing Images Sept 25 P-22 D-19 • Text ‘this video contains flashing imagines’ • Flashing images set to music • Most seemed to be filmed at his home • Guy walking down street • Cards • Calculator • Notebook • Buffy on tv • Inverted colors • Pill • 8 ball • Young Phil? • Screen splits several times • Hands with oilers, hourglass, smashing, knife • All footage is ten years old OHHH (1999) I️ like fire and petrol Nov 5 POST 10/19/09!!! P-22 D-23 • In room at house • Got hit by firework as child • Stupid friend called Katie • Picked up unused fireworks and put them in fire • Afraid of fireworks now • Love smell of bonfires • Weird • Aftershave would wear • Fireworks and scooters direct- shop in his town • Now we can ride the scooter to the fireworks display • Back roll OMG • Got purple face mask in P.O. box • Thanks • House made weird noise • Mattress on side?? • American candy- livesavers • Smell • Mickey Mouse boxers • Medium so rly big • Parents said if you don’t have job by November kicking you into the street • Actually just advised him • Haven’t done • Not sure what he’ll be • Brain heart surgeon • Physic? • Now kiss me • Vet • Tatoo artist (only face whiskers) • Lion tamer • Long tongue • History folder- doodles • Didn’t care for history • The final quack • Apartment red filming in Ireland • Woman at airport made him cry • Lioness is pregnant • ‘But you only licked my chin’ • The were on laptop keyboard • W/ Stephan • Apple computer • Set • Wearing suit w/ purple tie • Fake cuts off head • HICKEY on his left between shoulders and neck • Dan was last with him nov 1 • 5-10 Days ago Dreams of the future Nov 22 P-22 D-18 • Meows • Sorry I️ haven’t been around much • Hair down to ears • Wearing jacket he wore for Halloween • Life has been crazy • Cutest face now • Entered video into contest • Dan’s in the competition • Cut to Pinof • Dan saying ‘should I️ have a sex change’ • After you vote for me pleaseeee could you vote for him as well? • Cleans screen • Double screen • Takes photo • Idk if I️ told you but you look really beautiful today • Talk to past • 2047 • Dino dream • We all sleep in xxx chambers • Robots everywhere • When I️ like something it makes me do this *shirt sparkles* • Blue polo ish shirt btw • Not actually human • Show you inside of my head • Cut to flashing images video • Gives me ability to travel trough time • Red- he’s not who he says he I️s • Colors invert • Music kicks in • Travel into past and warn you • I️ have been on this planet for thousands of years • 2047 • Red shirt (with sharpie streaks) no shirt • He has your soul now • I️ warned you to stop watching • End of our story • Like dreams not all stories have a happy ending • Wraps up glove in Black • Going to return to my mind now • I️ want to wake up • His eye Captain stress relief December 5 P-22 D-18 • Stop motion w/ lion • For giffgaff • Mobile network • 18th time filming • Lion hasn’t been talking to him • Guy in bubble wrap • Captain stress relief • Have a cheeky pop and relax • Popping medley • I️ don’t see this as a job I️ see this as my life • At Phil’s house • So high up • Wearing cat sweatshirt/jacket • Another dude in phils living room Have a bear exam coming up • Mom • I’m so stressed with all this cooking • In kitchen • Giffgaff to hire (V DAY VIDEO- FEB 13- P-23 D-18) My fish died :( Mar 1 P-23 D-18 • Bed made • SAME SHIRT AS VDAY • SAYS ARFF OK YHEN • jackienchan • Dad displayed fish body outside conservatory window • We need to mourn him Phillip • 100,000 subscribers • Self conscious • Clip of HI IAM PHIL WELCUM TO MAH FIRST VIDEO BLOG • shudders • Imagine if you all were in the room with me • We’d probably die • Didn’t know peeps • Karen sent him peeps • Christmas trees • Very sugary • Very nice • 6 1/2/ 7 • He and dan tried making American pancakes • Cut to clip of them • Clip of it snowing • In orange room now • Today’s draw Phil Naked • Him riding a cow in space • Mating call of camel • ‘Hey do you want to head up to the bedroom..’ • Prize time • My soul • Boxers • He and Dan semi finalist • In video contest • Halloween’s mirror self of them OHai Mar 30 P-23 D-18 • Purple graphic tee • Cat whiskers • Close to camera • In bedroom • Haven’t made video here since Christmas • Say hello • Going on boat tomorrow to Isle of Man • Isn’t most exciting place • Buy ds and Pokemon to play • Hasn’t played Pokemon since Pokemon Silver • Asleep and kept hearing door bell in dream • Actual doorbell • Ran downstairs • Was excited for big package • Pokemon platinum • Game is small compared to old box • Can’t play bc no ds • Plays with slinky • Thanks everyone who helped by watching captain stress relief • But DANIEL • (Danisnotonfire) • He’s in Twitter part of contest • Help dan out • Giving away crazy prizes • Yawn • Going to bed at odd times • Doesn’t know how he coped when he went to Australia • Do you like these videos? • I️ will appear in your bedroom BOAT APOCALYPSE Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • In room but sitting at Pinof angle • Back from Isle of Man • Black polo • Hope the Easter bunny was kind • Never want to see white choclate ever again • ‘It’s your favorite’ • Had couple of Easter eggs before going on boat • People suck everywhere • Didn’t throw up • Dana gave him Easter egg • Real bird egg filled with chocolate • Looking at apartments in Manchester • Want to get one with really high skyscraper • Pretend everything is mine • Creepy guy breathing in his ear on bus • Don’t like people breathing in his ear • Got red photo camera • Penguin mating call • Ds arrived • Shows other side of his room • Big lion on chair • Draw Phil Naked • Him on a unicorn • Starts singing always I️ want to be with you • Apartment red • He and Steven • Lion family Swine Flu May 6 P-23 D-18 • V day shirt • Not in room • Feel like you and me should be pillow fighting in slow motion in our underwear • Thatd be hot • Tried to make video outside • Think he’s in Florida • Mosquito down his shirt • In geeze? Bottom corner of Florida • 8 hours to get there • Only eating trail mix • Too sacred to go into sea- idk why I️ developed sea phobia • Snake or alligator • Sea panther lurking • Bought grow your own aquarium • Only thing I️ shop that not shell • Shell jigsaw • Hammock jumpcut • He has swine flu • Guy with green t shirt on plane coughed • It’s been 3 weeks • Got sonic boxers • Fish in house • Pinof 2 • Own tv show on apartment red PRIZES July 8 P-23 D- 18 • Crawling forward on bed • Lion tee shirt • Patch beard • Facial hair grows weirdly • Nvm not lion shirt but black • So this video is about PRIZES • We the Kings day in the life • Announcing winners • Sending postcards to address • Permission to scrape out his eyeballs • Phil I️D.C. About contest • Something exciting in September • Clip on repeat EEE • Only good things can come out of a Moomin box Viewer Mail! Louder! Aug 30 P-23 D- 19 (As I️t is exactly same as listed video, no notes) SUPERNOTE 2010 Oct 4 P-23 D- 19 • Omg Dan is here • In new apartment • On black couch in front of microwave • Dan wearing red sweatpants and has bracelets • Phil in blue polo and black jeans? • Readyness face • Making mouth movements at each other • Big breath in • Dan counts down on fingers • Singing notes • Contest • Dan has v relaxed face • He lasts 42 seconds • Phil lasts 52 • D “holy crap what the fuck, freak” • Dan makes squawk noise • Wave goodbye • Dan starts again and Phil shoved his face • Screams in Phil’s ear • Dan and Phil get down! Oct 30 P-23 D- 19 • Dan fake playing video game • Phil sitting behind him • Dan wearing twilight shirt • Phil in yellow shirt • I️ heard if you say this thing 3 times into a mirror something scary happens • Dan replies sarcastically ‘ooh what is that then?’ • Bleeding llama dance party • No summos ancient Japanese wolf demon • Please it’s Halloween • Phil groans and gets up and goes to bathroom • Starts to say I️t • “Phil no think about this for a moment” • Scary imagines flash • Dan and Phil standing in front of balcony doors • Dan is taller than Phil omg • Stop motion • Dancing • Cycle • Phil eventually puts on wolf mask and mauls dan • Runs to camera • Happy Halloween • End screen 2011 Has WINNERS Mar 5 P-24 D- 19 • Dan and Phil • Terrible sound • In new apartment • Phil in red tee Dan in grey sweater and llama hat • Half full Ribena in back • Co judge: dan... the llama • Emotional piano music • All so good • I️ wish I️ was creative • D- so was I️ • Rachel triops queen and three year old daughter • Dan thinks they’re gross Phil likes them • Bonus chance for Simon • Dan does little swaying dance • Runners up • Dan will make sure Phil contacts people • Salad fingers character • But good • Dan likes text • Girl we met my chemical romance • With pink hair • Dan rolls eyes at Phil giving career advice • Jumpcut after dan plays with balls • 7 evil ex’s- dan is Ramon of flowers??? • Dan rawring at Phil • Dan should be art teacher • Dan says he should be everything teacher • Final fantasy character • Phil grabs Dan’s face when he’s annoyed • Don’t grab my face • ‘Personal bubble’ • Rude • Dan playing with bracelet • Secret unlisted video • Llama head butt • Don’t know how to stop camera Totoro Winners! June 5 P-24 D-19 • Phil wearing purple New York shirt • Dan wearing grey sweater • Terrified dan • Giraffe scared Dan • Not just creativity • Whisk face giraffe • Hard choosing • Goat • Dan scared of giraffes forever • Michael eagle washing machine • All these get small rotor is • Giraffe pocky • Wonder why Phil likes I️t • Hippo ice cream • Phil wants to eat I️t • Mural on side of his house of octo sloth • Dan likes spaghetti panther the best • Sitting on left side of tv • Tv is on • Fair amount of Knick knacks • Unbridge on unicorn • Fair amount of jump cuts • Phil just finished portal • Dan calls for taxi?? • Ultimate winners • Someone calls dan • Hello? Hello? • Jump cut he’s not on phone anymore • Phil loves disturbing • Dan says we a lot • Dan goes to get his taxi • Twerks in camera • Phil says no • Gives rec for vid • Unidentifiable song find I️t Speaking fail Aug 10 P-24 D-20 • He’s going to be doing an official apartment tour on his channel • Over and over • Red button up plaid • In bedroom • Keeps messing up DOG-A-LIKES! Oct 7 P-24 D-20 • Last day before Florida • Dan can’t fit in fride • Heat wave • Dan’s butt after heat wave • What dog is each person • Phil • Dan • Peej • Lion • Charlie • Chris • Idk why I️t made Chris so fat • Phil and Buffy baby • Phil and pikechu baby • Cookies and cream straw • In tv room • Drinks milk • Check out vyou • Clip of Phil eating after camera stopped • Bonus Phil mail 3.5 December 6 P-24 D-20 • In bedroom on side of bed • Lots of stuff • Camera and IMovie lost his footage • Red shirt • Jade sent him letter with draws (and cat whiskers) • Red panda stamps • Phil can’t wink • Wearing shorts • Heart hands • Timothy get downstairs right now • Going to read story in bed tonight • Likes to read before bed • Pocky • Promises he reads all letters • Final fantasy music? • Thank you for the sexy story as well... • Fake eyelashes maybe for philippa PROJECT FOR AWESOME 2011! somewhereto_ Dec 17 P-24 D-20 • Eating out of advent Callander • Sitting in chair in front of tv • Christmas tree up • Sonic shirt • Juggling polar bears • Walking down street • Omg this is where the cuts where he swears come from • Looks like mike from stranger things lol • Helps find people find space to do things • Draw Phil Naked • Snowed today • Dan saying it’s a blizzard harry in background 2012 LETTERZ Jan 25 P-24 D-20 • Sitting on bed longways • New covers • Jacob mask • Wearing blue orange and white bracelets- silly bands? • Wearing tie • Indigo shirt • Jesus stamps • Watching you since 2009 • I️dead to prank dan • Hide alarm clock in his room- that’s a good one • Working on that • I️ went cross eyed for you I️ love you that much • And now even moar • Red curtain • Now In living room • Sitting at breakfast bar • You should visit Canada someday • Likes the name Hope • Cara lee is a cool name • Wearing lion hat • ‘I’m sorry don’t stop watching the video because I️ did that’ • 8 years old viewer • WHOLLY SHIT ITS TIFAS THEME • SHITTTTTYTTT • shirt change • Doesn’t like colored pencils FANK YOU Jan 30 P-25 D-20 • Not at home • At parents house? • Grey plaid shirt • Bday thank you • Had a really nice day • Guinea pig • Mom made him cactus garden • Mapless chocolates • Shaver bc his broke and stubble growing • Didn’t know what to ask for for his bday • Sexy socks • Chocolate tasting club • Dad wrote ‘have a nice birthday or ill eat your liver’ • Spiked himself on cactus • Final destination • Go to bed • Should do updates more • Mysterious news AmazingPhil Next Vlogger May 6 P-25 D-20 • Jacob mask • Kill Bill poster above his bed now • My name’s Phil and I’m known as AmazingPhil on YouTube • From Manchester England • Vlogs, comedy sketches, interactive vid, and lions? • Loves interacting with people all across the world the most • In future wants to keep doing what he’s doing • Get better at editting • More interactive • Life vlogging • Juggles apples • Yeah I️ can’t juggle But what’s the catch!? May 23 P-25 D-20 • In another dudes house? • With Alex Day • London • Says London accent • Offers with price • 5 million will you shave off all body hair forever • Phil would for month or year • That’s mental no • Phil would for a billion • Saturday • Lose laugh or read minds • Phil seems flirty • Draw time • Bored on train Phil wrote these QUESTIONS! and a pickled shark Sept 10 P-25 D-21 • London apartment !!! • Side channel vid • Pinof 4 tomorrow filmed • Need questions • Usually uses formspring • In room? • Shark HO HO HO Dec 25 P-25 D-21 • At parents house • Tan room on couch • Take break from eating to wish happy Christmas • Puts on antler • HIS BEDROOM IS TAN • Not couch bed • Tetris alarm clock • At 6:30 when filming • Or is that his alarm??? • Dog puppet • Radio 1 website • 9 pm • Working on show all of December • Interacting on bb1 twitter • Going to eat and go into food coma • Goodbye guys oh dear • DAN IN RELFEVTIOM OF ALARM on computer • Ewatching? • Or Phil’s background 2013 HAIR MODEL! May 7 P-26 D-21 • Deleted • Finally feeling like summer • Mouse situation • Mouse in our house • Mouse cam • Their tv • Time to get cat • Weird woman • Hand first • Would you like to be a hair model • Different hair styles • Nial mask • Homeless guy saying I️ wonder who would win in a fight between you two • Phil wins • Lemon phone case • Jack Howard is avoiding haircut • Asking phone genie • Who in avengers? • C’mon Thor (Phil is so gay for him) • Black widow twins • Mcr in background • Names all Tom • Knows his middle name • Mum uses full name when he’s in trouble • Why is there a dying rabbit on my bed • I️ May tell u about someday • Interrupt this video for announcement • Danni boi jumps in (literally) • You just broke my bed • Radio Show nominated for award • People’s choice • London edition Ditl if they win • Grandma and dog vote • Phil was wearing pj bottoms while Time 2014 Dan and Phil LICK RACE June 16 P-27 D-23 • Sky shirt • Dan in horn hoodie • Usual spam emails • Hello Phil from Oreo • Lick race • Free double stuff Oreos • Nice angle • No teeth just tongue • Need a dispute to settle • Mail button • Phil is heavy sleeper • Ah domestic • Not answer door from more • But wait there’s more • Loser face decorated • Dan takes hello kitty mug • Dan has powerful younger • Phil sliding I️t over tongue • Dan slow powerful licks • Work out • So good at ice lollies now • Dan wins • Dan draws lick off • Sprays Phil’s hair • Ok I’m to go now • Dan licks camera Welcome! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • White background • Probs in house • Wearing dan and Phil T-shirt’s • Dan in black and Phil in purple • Dan and Phil • Official worldwide dan and Phil shop • Posters • Llama and lion • Stationary sets • Dans ear 7cm long • Please stop that • Up there somewhere • Newsletter • Thanks for supporting • Phil’s heart hurts • Get that checked out • Should we go make some videos • Or eat • Dan laughs at the end god that was awkward Thank you! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • Same setting as last • Dan- hello valued customers • If you’re watching this means you bought something • Or someone just sent you link • Phil hugs camera • To late now they just should enjoy the embrace • Go before • Super cringe sPOOPy Nov 5 P-27 D-23 • Darkness and flashing • Flashlight • 1D poster • Close up on Nial • Phil ‘rahhh’ • Sitting on toilet probs The Dan and Phil ADVENT CALENDAR Nov 17 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Phil in Jake sweatshirt • Dan in black T-shirt • Hello disciples of the Dan and Phil newsletter • No • We’re calling them that it’s my turn • So much worse than buddies • Didn’t know if we were going to do this if not • Hilarious • Phil wanted to • Bigger than looks on camera • Dan has big head • Had chocolate tasting • Strange moaning noises • Photo booth challenge behind each • Chocking on chocolate • Americans don’t have • Another joint • All get a bit fat together • Yayyy CHRISTMAS MERCH!! Dec 5 P-27 D-23 • In Christmas jumpers worn in dirl • Hello Christmas elves • Missed opportunity to say ho ho hello • Live in same • Follow newsletter • Do I️t • Please • Please • Working for long time • Best thing ever made • Calendar • Don’t spoil I️t • Customized dates • Twiiter plans • Pixal t shirt • Phil likes galaxy coat • Dan likes dinosaur • And Phil’s Pizza tshirt • Dan should put I️t on • Dan says not to look • Don’t want you to see my nipples • Phil covers his eyes • Phil sings sexy music • Dan thinks it’s cool • Dan is smiling to much too fake • Wrapping paper • Gift card • Dan doesn’t trust relatives • Put lot of love • Festive make over • Lots of gaming videos • Ho ho ho Phil closes in on camera Christmas one word story game! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Sitting on gaming couch • Dan in Santa hat and earrings and black Santa sweater • Phil in reindeer and purplish patterned sweater • Reindeers don’t say ho ho ho • Ahhh • Greetings and ah • Man named Jerome who killed Santa and wore his skin while visiting children • That was terrible idea HAPPY NEW YEAR! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Bonus video • In gaming room • Jellyfish tee • Dan in black • Purple Pokemon pillow • Merry eve • Phil what was your favorite thing of 2014 • Meeting Kylie benoge • Hanging out • Amazing video • Australian slang • Worst thing- • Either being stuck on rollercoaster or squirrel • Dan smiling • Best • Nick jonas hug • Body warmth • Worst • Buying leather t shirt • Regrets • Enjoy hanging out with robots and hover cars in future • Both give thumbs up 2015 ZZZZ Jan 28 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Door open • In gaming room • Pikacu pillow and green one • Phil in logos shirt • Dan in black tee • Dan does double peace signs in opening • Phil does single wave • That was weird • Dan and Phil sim buddies • Do something for people who have trouble sleeping • We both stay up too late on the internet • Like miles or owls • Bedtime story game • Ahh • Filter • One night in florist land there was a little squirrel called Herbert. Herbert’s face was swollen bc he licked a bee Herbert is sad bc of his face as he won’t be able to ask Susan to prom remember that faces are not important and dogs are loyal • THAT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE • ALL YOU HAD TO SAYIS WHATS INSIDE COUNTS AND YOU SAID DOGS • Dan is wild • Why are you wearing pyjamas • Bc it’s bedtime • Phil walks away • What a disaster • Sorry Ring Ring Roulette 2! Feb 15 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at an angle • Phil in gray space shirt • Dan in alien shirt • Hello dan and Phil games sims buddies • Awkward • Need to stop that • Randomly call people using • Using our dan and Phil sim • Mailbox you have called not available • Hello? • Is this mainly? • Starts crying • Oh my fuck • Hi this is Dan and Phil • I’m amazed • How long have you watch vids? • *gargled answer • Dan would win in fight to death • Do you have any pets • Cat called salemgaylord something • Dan likes lazy fat cats • Phil would like a unicorn • Give us best unicorn impression • Lovely to speak to you • Thanks for getting out Dan and Phil sim • This has been amazing thank you • Both wave to phone • Dan mirroring Phil THANKS! Mar 2 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room • Poke ball and crash bandicoot pillow • Phil in owl sweater • Dan in black shirt and grey hoodie • Touching • Hello sim buddies • Wanted to make video to say thank you on sim adventure • Controlling our lives- pic of running • Sneaking things into our tweets • Phil tweet- “some days you just feel like a moist diplodocus. Put on a snazzy outfit, go to the zoo and have a feelsposion over a capybara.” • Finally getting Dan to change his icon • Cat whisker and eclipse shirt • Yep that finally happened • Dan found I️t fun • Dan senses you all strange texts • Won’t randomly call you... for now • Phil summerize this entire thing with one noise • Brleee! • Beautiful ^_^ Mar 12 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at weird angle • Dan in Eye shirt • Phil in some graphic tee (white) • Hello sim buddies • Night (completely dark) • We’re waiting and we’re ready • Sounded creepy • Randomly dialing • Dan had huge ass smile on his face • Not available • Sh sh • LAUREN • Hello? • Um yes • This is Dan and Phil • Oh hi • Answer I️ wanted to hear • Refreshing for like hours • Do you have any pets • Dog called chip • Cross terrier • Do any tricks • Jump cut • Probably a cat • Nothing more exotic? • Bearded dragon not baby dragon • Impression • Phil does impressions • 11/10 • Hello internet • Phil waves at phone again • Lauren was nice • Asking people to do phone impressions isn’t good etiquette • Phil asks Dan to do impression and he does aww |||RRR||| Apr 1 P-28 D-23 • Even weirder angle in gaming room??? • Dan in skull shirt and Phil in red plaid • Hair is flipped ohhhhh • “Are we not going to call them dan and Phil sim buddies this time?” • Sim friends • Mobile isn’t available • On toilet or something • Man’s voice • Is this Chloe • Not your sim • Man’s voice • Unicorn impressing • Barry • Thanks Barry • That wasn’t Chloe... • Nicole • This is Dan and Phil • I’m just sat down • No just sitting • Have a snake • Bella • Hiss • Since 2010 watched videos • The Pinofs are favourites • Happily sitting • She’s so chill • Hello internet • Phil wants a snake • Didn’t wave • Dan in blue dining room chair DAN AND PHIL SHOP ‘END OF SUMMER/CLASS IS STARTING AGAIN AHHH’ COLLECTION Aug 22 P-28 D-24 • Pixal fade in • Crash and flappy bird pillows • Dan in b tee w pocket lion • Phil in mint green lion pocket • Hot new season • End of summer/class is staring again season • Such a long time • Lllama lion t shirt • Rubbing my boob • Text ‘wow it’s like a little trip to 2011’ • Debuted piece of jewelry • Whiskers necklace • Phil wears I️t • Put I️t over face and look like u have whiskers • How amazing is that • Collabed with spiral backpacks • Pixal and Galaxy • Phil will use galaxy • Worked rly hard • Bye • Pixal fade Dan and Phil Merch EXPLOSION 💥 Nov 18 P-28 D-24 • In gaming room • Dan in fringe sweater • Phil in tour t shirt • Flappy bird and crash pillow • Dan’s voice bad bc tour • Attack on Titan Phil sings • Most merch ever • V busy this year • This guy • Dan does dance • Phil wants explosives makes dan edit • Rolls eyes • Didn’t know it’s coming • 2016 Calender • Work Calander • Strippers • January sailors • So sorry • Phil’s fav aug • Fireman • Police is most suggestive • Photos regret • Sweater is by artist • Black tee • Prodigy and 5 secs of summer • Tours on back • Tour tee • New poster • Next chapter • Advent calander • Good chocolate • Festive morphs • Wait for each day • Thanks to Martyn • Newsletter • Hope you’re having a fab day 2016 New Merch! CALENDERS AND SPACE! Nov 18 P-29 D-25 • Both in galaxy merch • Dan sweater • Phil tee • Gaming • Crash pillow and flappy • Boy do we have a thing for you • Sit down • 2017 calander • At movies • Dan likes marvel January • Phil looks better than Chris • That’s bold • If you worked out.. • Phil jumped for hogwarts • Sorry for sherk July • Stare at us all the time • New galaxy merch • Dan likes design • Dark space • No ugly dan and Phil anywhere • Darker back pack • So many secret flaps • Shame is strong • I️ don’t want your head on my boobs • Crime against Christmas • The big C • Snapchat filter dan and Phil • You sneaky lil shits have I️t don’t deny • Horrifying • All out now • It’s cool if you don’t • Newsletter • First spamming in comments section • B b b B.B. bye • — — — — - Dan — — — 2006 Bower’s Castle Highscore B Dec 28 P-19 D-15 • On Dan’s MySpace • In living room • Yellow walls • Red carpet • On May • Fire place • Big old tv in corner • Starts w him walking on mat • Black socks and some sort of black sweatpants • V blurry • Black shirt • Ddr • Looks shorter • Uh let’s see • Ooh • Six misses only six • High score see 2009 Did you order some sex? Nov 3 P-22 D-18 • Wow link was broken • Same angle as hello internet • Tv with drawers • Shirt or something on top • Body bag still hanging from door • Hey everybody • Excited voice • YouTube actually removed for shocking images • Penis 3 ft long flowing blue • Rectal exams are so saintly • Text ARE YOU SRS • rant • New angle • Hair almost looks black • Sitting • Black long sleeve v neck w/ leaves? • Vloggy break from professional normal videos • Back from Halloween gathering • Met lots of people made friends • Got far too drunk *small laugh* • Looking down • This internet thing is crazy • New angle • White pants • Pulling them down • Blue underwear • Sorry didn’t make this vid yesterday • Tree fell on train tracks and he was standing there for ages • Your free socks are in the mail rn (butterfingers subscribers) • Bc that’s what I️t said- SOCKS • not secks • What kinda pervert would say that • Side note • How do you mail sex to somebody • Knocking on window • In mask and hood • Window door • White • Uh hi ups • Why you at the Back door • Free sex right to this house • BEND OVER • Looks at camera • Clip of him zooming in on screen with text ‘it’s over 5000!!’ • *dies* • Look what you did! • I’m going to get a not shit camera • You piece of crap (camera) • All see my hidious face in high quality *groan* • Follow me on twitter for interesting things I️ did • Woke up • Eating toast • Making orange squash • Kitchen is mess • So having a crap • Red underwear • Tmi • Dailybooth for naked photos • Has princess ketchup and kittens unrest • Stick finger YouTuber eating Google’s ass • Pure and innocent soul • Lazy Belemic • Smile • 10 points if you get that joke • So many jumpcuts • Proper video with tassels and everything • Heart hands I️ PUNCHED A BEAR IN THE FACE P-22 D-18 • Same angle but sitting • Hey guys • White ball by drawers • Joker tshirt • Echoy • Me and Amazing Phil in competition on clipstar.com • Votes money as prize • Amazing subscribers • Vote for me • Says via like vIa • Might not even have weekend job in few weeks • If he wins will buy camera • Committed to YouTube • Yellow carpet • Lexis videos • 90% so my audience is female • Doesn’t matter • I️t doesn’t matter if you’re 12 call me • Wink • Insecure • Radiating masculinity • Get back male audience • Puts on flannel • Manly cracked shirt and ginger facial hair • Man things • Beer out of special beer glass that’s not my dads • Eating raw meat • Biting Deer • Watches the football • Camping other week • Loincloth and pointy stick • Puts on bear costume • I’ll nut ya • Sigh • I️ don’t think this is working • Stick to sarcasm and humiliating myself What did YOU get for Christmas? Dec 25 P-22 D-18 • In room with Christmas blanket • Gradient small tree • Wrapping paper • Waking up • ITS CHRISTMAS AHHH EEEEE • not one of those people who hates Christmas bc I’m rly cool • Love Christmas • Fav day • Divine advent calander • Religious • Glory to god in highest etc �� Inflict Christianity on me • Actually potrey Jesus family from Middle East • Not white • You to post video respond • Portal to Christmas memories • B/w jumpcut in muchdash • I️ got a *miidle finger* kill yourself f*ggot • Got- pants, socks • Truffle chocolates • Maltesers ‘so beautiful’ • Indoor fireworks • Evil laugh • Orange M.D. more chocolate? • Movie ‘Australia’??? • Loves I️t • Bailey alcohol • ‘Goodbye liver’ • Lol Christmas jumper • Shit ones • One solution puzzle? • Shirt grey • Book • Plaid pants • Sorry Mom never buy clothes for me • Twilight • Get out • Pretty awesome • Kill Bill- fav movie ever • Money • PHILS TOY • Goddam tonbury! • Hugs camera 2010 hi there Feb 27 P-23 D-18 • Holy fuck he’s in India • Birds in the background • OMGOMGOMG • Red t shirt • Towels over raining • Blue wall • Channel is danisnotintresting • All 8 hundred and something of you you super sneaky detectives • Am in middle of holiday in India • Palm trees and animals • Not horrible winterness I️ left behind • Drum • Hotel-PRESA di GOA • Bedroom- white sheets, dark, posts w curtains • WiFi • People talking in background during WiFi clip • Shirtless filming in mirror • Bathroom lighting is attractive • Breakfast area- outside grass hut roof things and chairs and tables • Swimming pool • Lagoon color surrounded by trees and some pool chairs- empty • Actual hut house things • Stone monkey on roof • Gardener watering plants • Black dog • India’s pretty cool • Nice and hot • Nice to wear shorts again • View from airplane • Back in UK now • Now can make more vids • See you all soon • *kiss* muah Aeroplane Adventures- with danisnotonfire Feb 28 P-23 D-18 • Unlisted but Danni BOI has made I️t unavailable I️t looks like • Ralph Lauren polo • Vlogging in mirror on plane • Hello and welcome to aeroplane bathroom adventures with Dan • Snuck into first class toilets • Lots of stuff • Giant • Airplane toilets scare him • Create black hole in room • Flushing toilet Uncle Ken Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • Note- unlisted for being generally awful but I️ won’t private I️t for archeological reasons (wtf does that mean?!?) • In grey sweater vest thingy • Better quality • Only the yellow wall as background • Just blog for first time- for many reasons • Wants to talk • Looks white • Where is his channel going • Style • Suck at posting regularly • Worst at doing anything • Idea sheet • Has to be five minutes epic • Twilights last • Video everyday in April • Considering I️t doing • Checking websites till dinner • Playing rock band till he goes to sleep • Singing bad romance • Maybe in aug • Going to Portugal with Phil in few days • Expect vid • In Manchester for next week • Mom got log cabin for garden • Outdoor shot • Lots of trees • Path to cabin • Staying at grandparents overnight • Weird shuffling noises outdoor • Door freaking open • Gown standing in doorway • Uncle was watching tv downstairs • Pretends to be sleep • 3 minutes I️t watches him • Rape me in sleep • I️t left after watching grandparents • He • Come upstairs now to uncle • Oh that’s uncle Ken • Relative of yours you haven’t met from up north • Dementia • Comment below • Had nice Easter • Bye bye LETS HAVE A QUICKIE Apr 30 P-23 D-18 • Black tee • Sitting on side of his bed • Waredrobe • Quickie vid • Interactive truth or dare next vid • 2nd channel suggests • Pick most entertaining • Some things that I️ wouldn’t pic • Not doing naked handstand on motorway • Oww... • Chocolate • Birds outside • Returning to dailybooth • Neglected I️t for last three months • Sign up • Fav online community • Phil stuffy ‘prized!’ • LucyX won peace of hair • Won competition for gimp • Shout out Phil for no dance vid • He was lazy • Shot Pinof 2 • Omm nom nom nom • Bloopers • Shut up at helicopters outside E3 2010! L.A. Vlog June 17 P-23 D-19 • In hotel • With Phil • In grey graphic tee • Phil in l blue polo • First few days for trip to La • Phil forgot they went to Disneyland • How could you forget we went to Disneyland • (Day 1) • Clip of coaster • Space mountain was awesome • Met American friends • More friendly than English people • Toy story 3 tournament • Is really good • Phil seems kinda out of I️t • Tron bags • Clip at Disney • Dan ‘tron bagssss’ • Someone legend of Zelda t shirt • Molly • Has tron bag • Blonde • Might wear I️t every day • Phil in purple • Dan in vest and twilights last • Phil is on light bike • World of color thing • Mufasa dies nvm rainbow • Going to make him remember • Segway tour • Venice beach tour • Dan loved I️t • Why don’t you get bike • Cut to shots • With blonde girl and dude • Dan segwayed wo hands • Pj? • Qued waiting for cirque de sol • Weird shoulder pads robes • Jump cut • Crazy • Kinect • Phil got to see press conference • Tonight get to see you story 3 • Best week ever • Funky playing around that wave been doing • Peace sign and three finger • Small world about to have soil ruptured • Phil roars SELF MUTILATION Jul 18 P-23 D-19 • In room on bed? • Grey patterned ish shirt • Worst habit • Suit on door • Cuts to him throwing off leopard print underwear and stabbing his dick • Wearing llama shirt in jumpcut • Leave spot on face alone • Dan has to remove I️t • Tiny red spot on face • I’ll just v subtly • Black screen screaming • *five minutes later* text on screen • Condiments and beef jerky on face • Over jumpcut with joker shirt • Going out tonight don’t want anyone to see • Side eyes • Add so reasons why Dan’s a fail • PO box • Danisnotonfire PO box 3612 Workingham RG40 9JL • England • Ik my subscribers • Don’t actually send me dead babies or underwear • Rawr argblarbleawblrwarblgablrbleweblbll Jul 26 P-23 D-19 • holy fuck Jamaica • ITS THAT ONE CLIP • plays with hair- look- wave- holds nose close eyes- splash underwater- opens eyes briefly while coming up • Wearing earrings Extreme Tubing Fail Aug 1 P-23 D-19 • ITS ANOTHER JAMAICA BLESS • people on tube • So after seeing that do you want to do I️t Phil? • Phil is so soft omg • Yeah • Two others on boat • One looks like driver • About to die • Girl • Dan likes I️t more than Phil • Both fall • Basically me and Phil died • Dan elbowed Phil in face Pelvic Thrusts Aug 12 P-23 D-19 • Danosaurs • L blue t shirt • In bedroom • Quick vloggy vid • Updated on life • Shit at vlogging • Kittens out shit • No scirpt • Just notes • Jamaica was fun • Not live in country with incests • Phil and him have bites everywhere • Everything wants to kill you more than people • To vids v proud of • We spent days editting them • Watch I️t again • Mortal combat scene was funny • Summer in city last weekend • Meet up in field for three days • Like 50 lovely people • Jonny Barum • Gave I️ Love you robot shirt • Intoxicating when gave I️t to him • Also a youtuber • He’s lovely • Charlieisso cool • It’s a hair flip • Phil is moving out • To own flat in Manchester • 14th floor • Looking forward to shooting vids there • Dump all my shit in his house stay there all time and eat his food • Truth or dare next vid • Outside with public • Send in YouTube message do t clutter comments • Fuck a duck • Promised people he would spon • Get featured uk • Spon • He’s made 4 vids without putting them up • This vid has gone but to shoutouts • Pelvic thrusts to make up for I️t • Bunch of perverts • I️ will upload 7 minute videos bc I’m awesome text at the end watch dan talk about a competition you helped him win Oct 5 P-23 D-19 • In bedroom at corner • Wearing grey vest thing and white t shirt • Spent long time editing • Uploading whatever to channel • Don’t expect good things • Invisible friends • Omg the editing • Clip star finalists • Vote for him and Phil • Terrible text • Win prizes for free • One of 30 postcards • Signed worn topman boxers • Steven Phil and His script • Pic chosen in glitter pen • Return to dailybooth • Vid of him and Phil dancing • Better channel layout • Happy dan full of smiles • Happiest Dan in world • See you guys soon University Life Oct 21 P-23 D-19 • In uni halls • Not askaban • On bed • Heart dude • Then Edward • Confusing 3 week’s • Settled • This place is actually beautiful • Joked I️t wold be horrible • Scenic window view • Piping in building • Vintage prison feel • No window kitchen • L shaped lounge • Fridge for 12 people • Exposed brick work • Hard working convicts that built this place • Zooms on someone on computer • Through window • Hello • Creeper text • Rly like room • Bat and gym and shops • Closest halls to lecture • Roll across halls in pjs • Marelyn drew his room across from rape factory • How does smoke say rape • Zoom on papers • Intense parting every night • Earlier this week • Him playing wit hair • Someone knocks on door • Hey what you doing • YouTube thing I️ do • Rightttt ok I’m I’ll leave you to I️t • Dan slaps his face • Forever alone meme • Thumbnail • Lesbian action • Sorry but he did try • Knocks on girls door • V pretty girl- purple nails, brown hair and tanned skin • Lizzie and Ellie upstairs • Indian accent • Wants to speak to girls • What do you want to speak to girls about • Oh I’m just making a video • Girl in grey beanie • Nicer room • Hi are you busy • No • Can you be thumbnail of my vid • Hot girl looks p uncomfortable other looks ok • V attractive • Take of all clothes and make out • Serious? Yes! • What are you filming • I️ tried • Post vid response • Showing uni halls • Aww kitty! • Hello! • What are you trying to say the game? 2011 Dan Mail Jan 16 P-23 D-19 • At uni • Sweatshirt grey • Guys aren’t fans • Periodically make them • Some text • T shirt • Dan is not on fire t shirt • Dead babies and underwear on paper • I️ love you Dan raffe • Drawing • Sticks up drawings on wall • Likes every time of music • Loves moulin rouge • Loves edge cronicals • Fav color gold • Bumto fav drink? • Can’t write back • Will email • Sabrina • PlZ don’t put glitter • Hello kitty • Team Jacob • Make twilight vid • Native American likes • Basketball bracelet • Matt Belemy heart hands • Pokémon drawing • Toy zebra • Unfold letter • Huge letter • Chain cow • Paper crane • Short attention span • Can’t say happy birthday to everyone • Silver candle • Evie • Freddie off skins • Big compliment • Hawaiian Punch mix • Lava • Kiss marks on envelope • He likes native Americans • Dan get the hula hoops off Phil • Condoms • Put butterfly tattoos on face • Earrings • Friend walked in on him in bathroom • Drink not for him • Dramatic music • Tampon with his face and Phil’s face on I️t • Few of them • Disturbed • Scared • Stains • Horror laughs • Beheaded doll • Decorates Wall • Heart hands • Why the hell have you watched • Space background • Shorter in future WORLD’S FASTEST COIN STACKER Feb 23 P-24 D-19 • In uni I️ think • Uni sweatshirt • Long time no see • Had haircut • Likes I️t • Guinness world record tried to get him to break his record • People cried over him cutting hair • He hated his hair • Phil wanted Dan to say he spent previous night asleep on someone’s floor so that’s why he looks like dying monkey • Me Phil Bryony Ed • (Paper lilies and eddplant) • Other non internet people • Omg that hair... • Fastest stack of coins • After ten minutes of practice • Dan’s teem has spit shirts • Phil’s has stripes • Phil’s stack falls • Then Dan’s • He blames everyone in room • Acted humble but I️t wasn’t ok • 38 secs • Phil is confident he can beat him • Dan says Phil is just a jumble of nerves • This is hilarious • Dan’s falls • 31.617 Phil has new record • One good thing has to happen to Phil in his life • Dan was happy for him • Shot to him crying on bed • Compete against roger black • Olympic • Fastest one handed toilet tool • Ik I️ look retardo • Cocky • Katie weasel • His roll failed • Dan disqualified • Final fantasy music sad • Never wipe him again • V sore loser lol • Went home last week • Suitcase full of letters • Falls off chair Dan Mail 2 Mar 3 P-24 D-19 • Uni • On red spinning chair • Necklace thing? • Can’t react • Happy birthday changes camera angle • Happy birthday at this point • Good friend who showed the video • Now he never has to do that again • Never not show a letter • Pink llama • Llama hat • Cool girls always wear them • He can’t bc he’s boy • In vid he will • Dan mobile drawing • How hair is? • Straighten I️t • Dan and Phil in lot of things • Says envelope weirdly • Dancing in underwear in pic • Naked playing xbox drawing • Talented creeper • Has to stop recording every letter • Retarded • Good work my minions- for laying down • Prize for whoever finds how many time he says awesome and incredible • Hello kitty • Silly band (OMG) • Justin Bieber stickers • Guessed Indiana • Looks like brendon urie • Seeing panic in April • I️ pad but didn’t have any spare ones • Kristen Stewart disabled face • Porn • The game • Fussing over camera quality • Teacher thought she’s weird for thinking microwave is onomatopoeia • Will there be Pinof 3 • Kisses from Bulgaria • Bebe from Bulgaria has friend • Summer time or vampire money fav song on album • Ties up hair • Looks like troll • Likes my dimples • Nickname- bear SCREAMMMMM • Placenta fav word • Pandas over koalas • Fav yougurt vanilla • Dogs over cat • Plays piano, drums, ocurina? • Oh dear another box... • Lots of love and blood • Another decapprd doll • Actual placenta ? • Another vid later • Updated wall • In apartment red • Tv episodes • Fiesta music • The game on his door PSYCHO FRENCH TEACHER Apr 22 P-24 D-19 • In dorm • Twilights last shirt • Danacodes • New series • 16 • Gcses • Thought he was good • Doctor brown • New teacher • Not mister- doctor • Woofs and meows • Friend joe • Dog biscuits in drawer • Broken cds • Coffee cups disappear • Dan saw coffee cup • 20 dirty coffee mugs • Everyone looked • Locking people in cupboard • Singing alpha theme song • Translate in French • Csi • Had clothes in drawers • All go home bc dr brown • Runaway teacher • awkward silence • I️ was abused as a child • Vanished • Hilarious teacher • Got C • Sadness • Pom bear massacure was good (last video) • Excited from Easter Dan Mail 3 May 11 P-24 D-19 • I️ love you robot shirt • In dorm • Sunglasses they fall • Conclusion to trilogy • Sorry for being ugly • Other idk • Summer here • Wasp • Guess 13 minutes • Cool names • John and Susan • Star sign is Gemini • Such a strong man • Never throws away • Likes girl band kpop • Another boy yayyy • Not going to small things • Drops camera • Also lovemaking wrist accessories • Danmark • Plays wow • Another boy yes • Card that represents maturity • Where’s free socks? • 2005 on MySpace likes into shakari • I️ must be depressed • Ninja Jew • Tongue tattoos • Does one • Fire • Banana trumpet edit fail • Handlebar mushdash would suit him • Fantasy about you in bed bath fantasy about cutting him open while naked Phil watches tied up • Bra • Playboy perfume • Valentines cards for him and Phil • Would be breaking guidelines if shown • Creepy doll with hair • O_____x • Next dan mail at home bc he’s going home for spring break • Text saying it’s now may 11 and already filmed I️t • Delia Smith Gamer girls are HAWT June 7 P-24 D-19 • At Phil’s place • Graphic tee • Bi annual vlog • Raped and pillaged by vids • Filming at his flat for no reason • Background boring jazz I️t up • Gets pillow • Hair at lion mane • 2nd June finished exams • Woke up in morning of each exam and wrote notes • Don’t-do-don’t deserve to pass • Paying to procrastinate • Good luck! • I️t only gets worse as u get older • Last year in La... • Don’t like Wii U • But u probs don’t care • Do girls like games • Mario with grandma • Guitar hero is good • Question applies to boys too • Going to be 20 • Tramantic • Complete child • Youngest youtuber • Still young and pretty • Vyou • Redesigning website • 5000 unanswered • Going back soon • Video ideas • Would you rather • Him and friend playing • Don’t know you friend will be lol • Phil • PHIL IS WEARING CORNIELA SHIRT I️ THINK • mildly sexual • Ask me ask me ask me! • Byeeee • Totoro dancing • Delia Smith I️ Am Mexican Aug 15 P-24 D-20 • In Phil’s place • In black couch • Time machine • Was in Sicily for two weeks • Zelda? Watercolour shirt • Shorts • Looks black/ Mexican • P offensive • Jumpcut to his room • Clothes everywhere • Filmed two things at Sicily • Snorkelling • Jumpcut • Bright blue trunks • Music • Evil Black Sea urchins • Death balls • Last day at catacombs • Dead bodies • Freaky but awesome • Wall of dead babies • Reading festival • Reading and Leeds • Every year at end of August • Wristbands • Been for last four years • Doche patrol • Thin wrists so they make him look less like Ethiopian orphan • Nice to have color • Pictures • With two guys and girl sitting at knees • Other dude • One guy has purple hair • Tents • Best moments in live • Good camper • Did I️ mention I’m going with Phil • Come stalk me • Looking forward to mcr • Muse is reason he and Phil had to go • Twilights last • 10th anniversary • Origin of symmetry his and Phil’s all time fav album • Highlight • Lost Dan Mail 4 video file • Comment best live bands • Muse, arcade fire, the prodigy, rage against machine, panic • Shorts • Red pants • His and Phil’s new apartment • Gif of him on breakfast bar • Bloopers • Traditionally Aeroplane Adventures 2- with danisnotonfire Sept 15 P-24 D-20 • Saying title • Zoom on face • Had cold which is why he sounds like duck • Chris and pj • Chris won contest • Phil next to Dan • Free seats • Cheese tray and chicken salad • Lemon scented hand towel • Free champagne • Phil laughs • Phil shouted at him for blowing bubbles • *embarrassed Phil wishes I️ didn’t exist • Coffin toilets • Us four are least business class people • There is not enough business in this class • Theo pthetis • From dragons den • On same flight • Phil pointed I️t out • Anticlimax • In robe endscreen • Music EPIC PRANK OFF! Dec 1 P-24 D-20 • In room at new apartment • Bright blue shirt • Wirrow drawing above bed • Blue stripped pillows • Tv in side • Guitar hero stuff • Other side of bed • Video contest • Prank off • From mr wiggly things • Don’t prank pets • Pillow on door and Phil walks in • Phil wearing plaid blue • Do you want a Ribena- yeah please- shoots him- • On laptop • Party popper • Phil in shower • Robert Patterson • Porn on computer • Salt in coffee • Their laughs sound same aw • Dribbled all over himself • Goes to get dan • Washes out mouth • 500 pounds • 5 best get Danisnotonfire tshirt • Powder in Phil’s hair dryer • On same side of bed • I️ hate you • Worst day ever • Making sequel to this called death of Dan If Dan was a Suerhero.. Dec 21 P-24 D-20 • On couch against wall • Party tricks • Flip wrists • Dining room table • Pick up chicks • Hippo noise • Film chronicle shirt video contest • Satrodophone poke song • Polar bears on face • Phil says he isn’t talented • Llamas kill everyone • Famous places • World becomes llama • Calming music at end 2012 Narcoleptic Laptop Feb 3 P-25 D-20 Deleted PRANK WINNERS! Deleted danisnotonfire Next Vlogger! May 6 P- 25 D-20 • Sitting on bed, camera is facing door • Joker t shirt • Bulky computer • Black comforter • Blue, black, and tan ish pillow • My name is dan • Known as Danisnotonfire • Made YouTube account 2006 • Oct 12, 2006 • Was 14 years old (haha same as me!) • And nothing I️ could do about I️t • British from Workingham • Currently lives in Manchester • Tell people stories of horrific experiences to himself • Near death experiences- Jamaica jumping off cliff clip plays • Cut to Manchester uni sweatshirt annoying people in cinemas • Time mum red browsing history • Llama hat in that • Vlogging communicates with people on personal level • When he says he stabbed someone bc no left hand scissors an gets comment ‘FAG’ • User blurred out • Think got wrong one • PaigeeStudd- basically saying I️ feel you • Makes I️t worthwhile • Channel is support group for people who hate peoples • Excited *effects* about next vlogger take vids to next level • Tapes lamp shade to ceiling for lighting • Better vids to laugh at • Danisnotonfire outro SuperNote 2012- THE LLAMARMY Oct 1 P- 25 D-21 • Black screen w/- “we are interrupting the normal Dan broadcasting schedule.” • Woah Dan this isn’t a Thursday • In living room • Eclipse shirt • Thursday still happening • Looks bare- old shelf • Team captain of supernote 2012 • Wearing bracelet? • Ended up winning • 2008 • YouTube community • Longest note out of mouth • You guys if want to join my team • Sexy, sad, manly • Video response • Police car outside • Team name: llamarmy • P big deal • You guys post vid responses, bullying him in comments, edit his face onto giraffes • Sweatpants grey • Longest note, llama hat and danasaur t shirt • And personal note • Others win totoros and wrist bands • Wow old vid • Phil comes in • Wearing grey make videos everyday shirt • Aww Phil looks so cute • Phil’s going to win • High five that hurts • Phil wearing llama hat • Phil lower note • ‘Dan you are so hot’ written below • Dan lasts longer • Underdogs • Get lots of people • Deadline Oct 31 • Danisnotonfire outro • Galaxy end Life’s Unanswerable Questions Oct 12 P-25 D-21 • Collab with Alex day • Wearing multicoloured tee • Sitting in front of fire place • Tetris lights • Hello internet • Unanswerable questions annoy • Found website in comic sans • Erradicate I️t • He likes to share opinions • What came first chicken or egg- egg • Tree would make sound • Bothers him • Ate tounge what would taste like • Tried to fail and succeed what have you done • Dan answers with sandwhich • Color is mirror • I️t has no color • Chameleon • Car at speed of light turn on headlights • Paradox • Can guy names nick have nickname • 4 out of 5 diahrea enjoy I️t? • Marsquakes-no • What is the speed of dark • Why can’t woman put mascara on with mouth closed • Dictionary in dictionary? Yes • What is meaning of life • Sirens • Best way to lose weight- cut self in half • Dan believes in aliens • Aliens aren’t going to look weirder than jellyfish • Bus driver closedoor • Can cry underwater • How old would you be if didn’t know your age • Someone vanished w/o trace how do people know missing • Timmy for a decade • Don’t try to get people to like you for the wrong reasons • Outro • Sexy endscreen dance • More interesting than space endscreen Men vs Women Dec 8 P-25 D-21 • On couch • B/w Brit flag pillow • Camp and grey t shirt • Earrings that are multicoloured • Which sex has is harder • Cat ears • Carrie • Opinions aren’t meant to be taken seriously black screen • Hit I️t rn • Getting kicked in balls or giving birth • Rly hurts • Guys never ask to be kicked in ball again • Squeezing watermelon out of ass • Dan wasn’t aware girls couldn’t lie on front • Nipples are useless • Joy of lactation • Man can’t have multiple orgasms • Sucks • Men get arosed and no one knows • Old ladies read 50 shades • Think grandma • Men can pee standing up and that sucks • Girls can multitask • What is so bad about periods • Don’t get into argument • Don’t ask if I’m Period • Dan had done that • Bleeding out of penis forever • Women live longer • Men don’t understand women have I️t harder • Women win • Debated in comments • Both sexy endscreen 2013 GOOD NEWS EVERYONE Jan 12 P-25 D-21 • In living room • Black long t shirt • So cold • Spicky jumper from topman • Jump in jeans • Repression how hardcore he is while life • Ryan from X factor wearing I️t • Burn I️t? • Mouse in bedroom • Trying to catch I️t humanity • BBC radio 1 • Phil comes next to him • Phil’s been making him not swear • Every Sunday unless they get fired • Watch entire show • 7-9 pm • Phil in blue sweashirt • Schedules • He’s loosey goosy uploading • Shit looking photos need more of • YouTube angry mob • You tubers don’t follow through • Dan Unspecific • Video on school • Never really talked about • Have nice day unless I’m Jamaica then I hate you bc you’re warm • Endscreen zooming on house objects w/ sexy music 2014 Dan and Phil SIM SURPRISE PHONE CALL! Dec 18 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Dan in horn hoodie • Phil in purple sh jumper • No pillows in back • Surprise calling random person • Phil is scared • Awkward on phone • Oh my goddd • Person is freaking out • Casey • Was just doing hw • English hw about them • How much she fangirls about them • Did you see photo of dan at bbc in Dino onesie • Not saying I️ hate but that was terrible • Told Phil about cat dying on YouTube • Watching for 2 Years • Collab- so many favs • Fav animal llama • Sorry about Phil • I️ need to tweet about this • That was so funny • Animal impression helps • Maybe next victim 2015 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR Oct 4 P- 28 D- 24 • Sitting in theatre looking behind chairs • Lots of stuff on stage • Rehearsal space • Dan in eclipse • Phil in constallion lion • 5 days • More tickets • Oct 8- Nov 4 • Danandphilbook.com • Want audience participation • Come hour early • 7 sec, weird kid, isg, crafts • P.O. box videos from back in day • Might not be able to keep I️t • Thinking about people from rest of world • Dan winks • Phil does I️t too to help 2016 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR! April 19 P-29 D-24 • In dressing room • From 360? • Dan in plain black t • Phil in show attire • Sup-a-de-fiddle • Dried mango • Cool creative ways • Arrive early • 7 sec, • Show box • Weird kid, show examples • Craft examples • No bigger than medium otter • Can’t keep them • Phil said mems • Chow • For now • Was that necessary? HOW TO GET INVOLVED IN #TATINOF Aug 12 P-29 D-25 • In same room • Oh it’s same video lol

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junker-town · 5 years

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Megan Rapinoe is love

We shouldn’t strive to elevate her as a god, but rather emulate her through our actions.

I hope that we don’t make Megan Rapinoe into more than what she is. I hope that we don’t elevate her to something beyond human. Into someone infallible. Once she becomes a hero or a god, once she is seen as a leader of the masses, she will be boxed into a set of behaviors that she must adhere to. She will be confined into conforming into the idea of herself rather than being herself, which will only set up her eventual downfall.

Rapinoe is already described in terms that are often considered neutral, but morph into sinister, claustrophobic labels when used by her detractors, such as “patriot” and “role model.” Those detractors seek to denigrate her by painting her as a divisive figure. In an effort to defend her from these attacks, it is vital we do not depict her as a morally perfect being, which will inflict the same damage wrought as those who despise her.

We also can’t elevate her as perfect, because we don’t have a personal relationship with her. Few of us actually know Rapinoe beyond the performance of self she puts on while in the public eye. Only her family, teammates, closest friends, and her girlfriend, Sue Bird, can truly speak to who she is. And even then, they still only know her as she wants them to, in relation to themselves, in the capacity of their relationship, which is still not the full picture of who she is. If there is such a thing.

All of us perform, becoming different versions of ourselves depending on who is watching; that performance in itself is intriguing. This performance isn’t false, necessarily, but rather a needful adaptation to the demands of our situations — we are what we are because of where we are — and more importantly, an attempt to play out our own idealized version of ourselves — we are who we are because this is who we wish to be.

Everyone wears masks, and as Alan Jacobs wrote, “Sooner or later — and often sooner — the face becomes indistinguishable from the mask.”

Rapinoe is not excluded from that performance, but who she chooses to be in front of us, the public Rapinoe, cuts a wonderful figure to her fans. What is perhaps most fascinating about her, before and throughout this World Cup run, is her clarity and her boldness. She says things that others are afraid to speak about, and she says them in such a clear way that the meaning is unavoidable. People have described her as arrogant and cocky, but both terms suggest a self-delusion about one’s own capabilities and importance, a delusion it feels unlikely Rapinoe possesses.

Rapinoe has never claimed to be the greatest living human being, or the best player in the world. She’s not given the impression that she believes herself to be some grand political figure. She usually just says the honest thing, without all the obfuscations we’re used to, and often demand, from public figures and ourselves. Clarity is often both refreshing and uncomfortable. It makes us look directly at things that we wish to hide away.

That same clarity and boldness was evident years ago when she joined Colin Kaepernick’s protest against police brutality. What impressed went beyond the action of the protest itself: She did not co-opt it for her own use, but because of her identity as a lesbian, she understood, to an extent, what it meant to not have her liberties protected, and she knew that Kaepernick’s fight was one that needed support from white people as well:

I know what it means to look at the flag and not have it protect all of your liberties. It was something small that I could do and something that I plan to keep doing in the future and hopefully spark some meaningful conversation around it. It’s important to have white people stand in support of people of color on this. We don’t need to be the leading voice, of course, but standing in support of them is something that’s really powerful.

That honest attitude seems to extend to her position on all things, whether it’s something as big as a protest or as small as a celebration. When Alex Morgan was criticized for her tea-sipping gesture after scoring against England, Rapinoe said:

Wah, wah, wah. We’re at the World Cup. I don’t think anyone truly believes we disrespect the game or our opponents. What do you want us to do? We work hard, we like to play hard.

This blunt dismissal of what was such an obvious over-reaction indicts the sensational media landscape that engineered the controversy, and reinforces the restrictive ideas that shape many beliefs around what female footballers should and should not be. Of course they weren’t disrespecting the game or their opponents; the US women’s national team has been a driving force pushing the women’s game forward. The players are under no obligation to play into the ideas of respectability that burden female athletes — that any action that isn’t perfect and positive is a detriment and indictment to the game as a whole. The burden for them to exist solely as inspiration for little girls everywhere.

Rapinoe’s most (in)famous comment came before the World Cup, when she was asked whether the USWNT would visit the White House if they won the tournament. It’s not just her saying, “I’m not going to the fucking White House,” but the incredulous sound she makes beforehand, that speaks volumes.

“I’m not going to the fucking White House.” - @mPinoe pic.twitter.com/sz1ADG2WdT

— Eight by Eight (@8by8mag) June 25, 2019

Why would Rapinoe, as a gay woman, as someone whose identity is under attack by the current administration, and as someone who has routinely demanded love for and inclusivity of all persons, who has asked for people and for the world to be better, go to the White House to be used as a photo-op for a man who is against all of those ideals? The question may have been innocuous, but given Rapinoe’s history, it came off as naive.

And so in just a few seconds, she condemns the current administration and everyone who has routinely used the excuse of respecting the office of the presidency to side-step individual moral responsibility.

Her speech at the end of the USWNT victory parade in New York neatly summarizes the public Rapinoe, and everything she stands and wants to stand for. In it, she said:

We have to be better. We have to love more, hate less. We got to listen more and talk less. We got to know that this is everybody’s responsibility. Every single person here, every single person who’s not here, every single person who doesn’t want to be here. Every single person who agrees and doesn’t agree. It’s our responsibility to make this world a better place…

This is my charge to everybody: Do what you can. Do what you have to do. Step outside yourself. Be more, be better, be bigger than you’ve ever been before. If this team is any representation of what you can be when you do that, please take this as an example. This group is incredible. We took so much on our shoulders to be here today, to celebrate with you today, and we did it with a smile. So do the same for us, please, I ask you.

She mentions responsibility twice. That we have a duty to the world and to the people that we love. That duty suggests love should be an active undertaking, rather than a passive emotion. That love requires holding people and the world accountable, instead of using it as a shield to sit back and accept the state of the world.

Rapinoe loves the United States, so she calls out the ways that it fails to live up to its ideals. She loves women’s soccer, so she calls out the ways that it restricts the personalities and the sheer humanity of its athletes. She loves those people whose identities and persons are under attack by those in power, so she refuses to be used as a prop for that same administration. And she says and does all these things in such a clear, direct manner that it makes everyone who would rather not see these problems uncomfortable.

It seems inevitable that Rapinoe will become a hero and a godlike figure; she’s not immune to the process that every great athlete is forced through. And she seems more than most to have the unshakable clarity and confidence to deal with that position.

But we must take heed of what she’s consistently asked of us. Not to adore her, but to build upon her example and hold the world around us accountable. To challenge those in power and to stand by the most vulnerable. By stating we have a responsibility to love the world, Rapinoe exposes our individual moral failures in that regard. It would be a shame if, in an act of cowardice, we hid behind her, rather than stepping forward and continuing her fight.

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theclaravoyant · 7 years

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also okay - if you're ever wanting to write more in the trans!fitz universe, i'd absolutely love to see a fic where someone on the team learns what 'nonbinary' is and decides they might be nb, and come talk to fitz about it! :) and maybe talk about fitz's experiences being trans and his view of gender and stuff like that

AN ~ awesome prompt! It was a lot of fun exploring nonbinary-ness and different experiences of gender (which is probably why this almost hit 2K!).

Disclaimer: I’m a cis woman, but I based what Fitz talks about on experiences of several trans and non binary people (from these sources as well as past research, friends, tumblr posts, etc.). I hope I have done the topic some justice!

For those not familiar with my trans!fitz universe, this fic takes place in the Bridget!verse where Fitz transitioned (FTM) from a young age. He is out only to a few select people as trans, and prefers it that way, although this fic also allows for him to be more out re: his sexuality (which is not specified in this fic, but implied to be non-straight).

As for who he’s talking to… I know they’re not part of “the team” exactly but I couldn’t resist using this opportunity to write about everyone’s favourite nb lesbian, Agent Piper!

Anyway, without further ado-

Read on AO3 (~2000wd)

Piper

Pride season was an opportunity for a splash of colour in the increasingly gloomy lives of Shield’s now-underground team. The younger Agents especially filled the base with life and vibrancy while the older ones, for whom Pride was much if not more a commemoration than a festivity, provided strength and fortitude, serving as living reminders of a whole range of struggles that could affect an Agent, and a whole range of ways of being a survivor. Pride was a light in the darkness not unlike the end of year holiday season, if directed at a smaller cohort.

Tonight, many of the Agents were preparing to drive out to a Pride Parade in a nearby city, and were donning all manner of bright colours and some of them even preparing spectacular outfits for a night on the town. Daisy had on a hot-pink sundress with platform sandals and chunky jewellery in blue, purple and silver. Jemma went for a look that somehow managed to be more subdued, in a bright canary-yellow t-shirt and black jeans, with a pink bandana tied around her neck. Fitz was stuck in his room trying to figure out what to wear that was different, but that didn’t scream a Pride flag vomited all over me, when he heard a knock at the door.

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed. “Jemma, I-“

Fitz cut himself off when he pulled the door open and saw not Jemma, but the shorter, stockier, also somewhat-bewildered-looking Agent Piper waiting for him. She was still wearing fatigues, not yet prepared for the evening’s outing, and her expression was a little too serious for Fitz’s liking.

“Um. Hi,” Fitz greeted after a moment. “Can I help you? Is something going on?”

He stuck his head further into the hallway, but Piper shook her head before he could work himself into too much of a panic.

“Nothing, it’s all good out here, I was actually wondering if I could – maybe – have a private conversation with you.”

“Okay. Sure.” Still a little unsettled, Fitz invited Piper into his and Jemma’s room. He waved a hand apologetically at the suit-jackets, feather boa, dresses, heels, and button-ups that had sprawled across the room during their preparations, but Piper seemed content to ignore them even as her eyes cast about the room a little, not quite sure how to broach the subject she’d come here to speak about.

“Sorry,” she said eventually, bringing her eyes back to Fitz as she seemed to remember she was prying in a private space. “It’s just, I know you’re not really out with it and I didn’t want to be creepy. I wanted to talk about… gender. I’ve been thinking about some stuff and Jemma sort of mentioned that you might be someone who knows something about it. If you’re not comfortable with talking to me you can send me on my way and I won’t breathe a word of it – I know how it is – but it’d be really cool if you could help me out, man.”

Fitz shrugged. “It’s alright.”

“You sure?”

“Sure.” He smiled. “Happy to help out if I can.”

“Awesome.” Piper sighed, and a lot of the tension left her body. For want of a better place to plant herself, she perched on the corner of a desk.

Fitz sat nearby, in a clear space at the edge of the bed, and waited for Piper to gather her thoughts. He hoped she wouldn’t ask too much about him. Then again, he hoped she would. If it would help. If it would maybe mean he was sharing something of himself with someone who might get it in a way that the others didn’t. He wondered what she would ask. What was questioning even like? What was it like not to wake up and know? Of course, he’d been through his own questioning period, but most of that had been forced upon him, particularly by his father’s efforts to reshape him. Inside Piper’s head, Fitz knew, there could be a whole different set of sensations going on. Legitimate questions. Questions in which politics and oppression only played a part. Questions that could be daunting, and probably moreso to a thirty-year-old mind than to a seven-year-old, who didn’t yet understand so much about the weight of the world.

“Want me to start?” Fitz offered. Piper groaned.

“God, please.”

“Do you think you’re a man?”

Piper recoiled from the suggestion, but quickly recovered.

“Sorry. But no. I don’t think so – it feels wrong. It’s just that… I’m not really sure I’m a woman either. Does that make sense? Is that possible? I mean, I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy but like… recently, it feels different somehow. It’s difficult to describe. Maybe I’m just being weird, but to be honest, it’s kind of freaking me out. I thought I’d already done the whole identity-crisis thing, you know?”

Fitz laughed a little. He could relate.

“There’s no need for a crisis. You’ll figure it out eventually. And believe me, I get the double-take. Identity is an ever-changing beast.”

“How was it for you, though?” Piper wondered. “The gender thing I mean. How did you know?”

“I don’t think I can really help you with that one, unfortunately. I’m one of those people who just always, sort of, knew. I’ve known since I was a kid. I don’t really know why. Some of it was the obvious I guess. I played with model trains and cars instead of dolls. I hated wearing dresses. Tried to cut off all my hair with scissors. I wanted a pee-pee.” He snorted. “Seven-year-old me didn’t really get into the philosophy of it all, but there must be something to it, because… well, let’s just say I went through some things that would have chased it out of me if that were possible.”

Piper nodded solemnly.

“Not all the confusion is bad though,” Fitz continued. “My mum raised me, mostly, and she did it without a lot of that masculine bravado bullshit. She taught me to be gentle, sensitive, forgiving… sometimes it felt like I was less of a guy because of that kind of stuff, and the teasing didn’t help, but in the end it gave me faith in my identity. Mum always told me there should be more guys like me. That it shouldn’t be left to the girls to be the soft ones.“

“I like your mom,” Piper put in.

“Me too.” Fitz smiled. “And honestly I think having someone who believed in me like that made it all so much easier, even though she didn’t get it entirely. She started calling me by the right pronouns – you know, he and him and all that - and even gave me a different name. Helped me transition in lots of other ways, too. I couldn’t have done it without her.”

“Oh, I don’t want to transition, either,” Piper clarified. “I’m happy with my body just the way it is. Is that – I mean, does that mean anything?”

“Not really,” Fitz explained. “I mean, for me it did. I had… I had dysphoria in a big way. Phantom body parts. Huge discomfort about my dead name and pronouns. Not every trans person gets that. Some have it the other way, actually. Euphoria, it’s called. They just feel more happy when they express as their gender, or when they’re referred to by some other name or pronouns or, you know, gendered words, even if they’re not particularly unhappy with their assigned ones.”

“See, that sounds more like me,” Piper agreed. “But can you be, like, gender-neutral trans? Or is that a different thing, I don’t know. But can you?”

“You mean like nonbinary?” Fitz suggested. “Some people think of it as trans and some don’t, but yeah, sure. It’s a thing.”

“It means you’re like, somewhere between a boy and a girl, right?” Piper speculated. “Like on the spectrum.”

“Basically,” Fitz agreed. “I mean, for some people it’s more complicated than that, and just like with sexual orientation there’s a whole bunch of subsets. Some people like the spectrum, some people go with a third non-spectrum gender, some people even prefer no gender at all. It’s up to you. I can’t really tell you which one to pick, unfortunately – I mean as far as I’m aware, we as a scientific community still don’t know what gender even is yet – but if you’re feeling like nonbinary’s an option for you, try it out. There’s no harm in a label if you’re safe and happy with it. And even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not like you’re getting in anyone’s way.”

“Really?” Piper checked. “You think I should go for it?”

Fitz held his hands up, palms out. “You don’t need my permission.”

“Can I keep my name?”

“Sure, if you’re happy with it.”

“What about that pronoun stuff?”

“Well, if it bothers you when people call you she/her, tell them so. If not, you can keep them and still be non-binary. It depends on you. If you’re looking for a more neutral pronoun, ‘they’ is getting pretty popular, relatively. There are some more obscure ones around, so Google it maybe, but if it’s not a strong point of contention for you, or none of the others really speak to you, you could try they/theirs.”

“You’re right, that does sound better,” Piper agreed, a smile breaking out across her face at last. “Thanks so much, Fitz, honestly. I feel like I’ve lined up so many things in my brain right now.”

“My pleasure.” Fitz found himself beaming too, unexpectedly broadly. He kicked his legs in glee. “Glad I could help.”

“Wait.” Piper interrupted, her tone heavier again all of a sudden and, if Fitz was not mistaken, tainted with dread. “Can I still be a lesbian, then?”

Fitz’s excitement faded a little too. With the weight Piper put on it, he could tell, this part of her identity was important to her. Painstakingly so. Handling it with care was essential, and yet, he had to walk blindly into it and do the best he could.

“Well, I don’t know,” he offered truthfully. “If someone else, if another lesbian, came to you with something like this, what would you say, d’you think?”

Piper’s eyes searched the floor, the carpet, the nose of Fitz’s dress shoes poking out from under one of Jemma’s discarded dresses. She took a deep breath.

“Well, I’m sure as hell not a man. And even if I’m not a woman exactly, I still feel pretty close to it. I’d like to think I’m enough of a woman to be a lesbian still.”

“Then there you have it, I guess. Maybe talk to the girls, they might have more to say about it, but I think that’s fair enough.”

“Cool.” Piper nodded once, and then twice more for good measure as she let it all settle in. Her eyes trailed the mess that was FitzSimmons’ room and, as the mess in her own head cleared away, she remembered why it was all there.

“Shit, we’d better get ready, hey?” she reminded Fitz. He escorted her to the door, as best he could through the widespread pig-sty.

“Again, thanks so much for the talk,” Piper continued. “It was really great. Really helpful. If you don’t mind though, can we keep it on the DL for now? Sprinkle a couple ‘they’s here and there if you could, but the other stuff, I’m still easing into it.”

“No worries,” Fitz promised. “And you know, my stuff –“

“Lock and key,” Piper promised in return. “See you tonight.”

“See you there.”

#leo fitz #agent piper #aospositivitynet #aosfic #bsquadbrigade #aosficnet2 #happy pride!#piper #piper vasquez #trans!fitz #prompt me stuff #clara's fic tag #buckysbears #aos fic

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wholitzukoonfire · 7 years

Text

Modern/YouTubers AU Klance Pride Headcanon [Part 1]

So this is from a hc convo I was having with my klance shipping buddy @destielschild

So basically klance meet at a Pride parade and these are also my general Voltron gang Pride headcanons.

So the voltron team is split into 2 friendship groups Lance’s friendship group (Hunk, Hunk’s moms, Shay, and Lance’s lesbian sister - Elena)

Hunk

Hunk in this au is the lovable straight ally - he’s been to Pride every year since he was a child because of his Moms, it’s a thing they do - a tradition.

He and Shay are dating they are the most adorable couple

He’s wearing his “I <3 my moms” rainbow shirt and its so wholesome

He once got shouted at by an angry gay for being there and not being LGBTQ+, but Mom Ana tore the guy a new one telling him how supportive and amazing her beautiful son is.

This year he’s holding a sign that says “You know it’s bad when a straight guy is marching” - you know the one

He and Shay have a YouTube cooking channel called Hunkalicious and PassTheShay cook things - They’re pretty well known and do lots of collabs with Lance.

Their YouTube name is Hunk-A-love-&-A-Pinch-A-Shay

(They have so many Shay is Salt memes bc she can be sALTY AF when needed)

Hunk also has a side gaming/sciene-y things channel (How he met Pidge)

Shay

Shay is bisexual

The two of them are so in love and sometimes they sit in coffee shops and admire pretty girls together (Shay always adds on ‘Of course she’s not nearly as pretty as you.’ Hunk is the prettiest boy fight me on this. he giggles every time and blushes)

She’s wearing a ‘bisexu-whale’ top Hunk got her bc she majors in marine bio and she ADORES whales.

Lance

Lance is tagging along with Hunk’s crew - He hasn’t been out for long (his family are v Catholic and traditionally Cuban - his dad didn’t speak to him for a month after he came out) and it’s his first EVER Pride.

He’s super nervous although he’s literally been adopted into the Garrett family he feels like hes intruding tagging along on their traditional Pride march.

Shay notices INSTANTLY and makes him feel right at home in the bi community.

“Lance, I know you haven’t been out for long, but you are a valid bisexual, no matter what anyone says, your sexuality is yours to define and nobody else’s. You belong here.”

(This is why we love Shay) Lance cries for five minutes and is enveloped in a group hug.

Shay paints Bi hearts onto Lance’s cheeks (one gets smudged but he doesn't care)

He does his make up (he hardly every wears make up, but he loves doing it) - Purple to pink to blue eyeshadow, and a touch of eyeliner.

Of course he also sprinkles a fuckton of pink glitter over himself, the Moms, Hunk and Shay

Lance is a pretty well known YouTuber - SirLancelot (he does mostly Vlogs, make-up tutorials, random funnies, relatables videos, occasional gaming sessions and he also pops up frequently on Hunk and Shay’s channel - it’s adorable and when Lance is involved they’re always “w/ the bestie” videos) And he decided to Vlog the whole thing - telling his subscribers in a mini vid that he’d be going to his first Pride and uploading a Vlog of it the following day.

When he first get’s there there are so many people and it’s all so much he thinks he might just faint, but as soon the Parade starts, Lance is on cloud nine. Hunk is manning the Vlog camera (he offered to as it’s Lances first one and he wants Lance to enjoy it)and captures Lance grinning and chanting and waving his “AIN’T NO LIE BABY, BI BI BI” sign with gusto.

He turns to grin at Hunk who is literally internally screaming and shaking Shay gushing to the camera about “LOOK AT HIM! HE’S SO HAPPY AND ADORABLE!!! HE LOOKS SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM SHAY- MY BEST FRIEND!! I’M SO PROUD!”

Lance is wearing a “my BI-FI signal is strong” shirt that the moms got him.

Elena

Lance’s sister, they’re the same age - her mom is actually Lance’s Aunt, but the pregnancy was accidental and Camille never wanted children, so at aged 5 when Camille finally told her mother to stuff it and that she did not want children - Rosa took Elena in as one of her own

From then on the two of them were permanently joined at the hip (Elena is just as goofy and just as stubborn as Lance - and both of them are strong willed and will Fight You about womens rights, POC rights and LGBT+ rights)

She is a Lesbian™

She came out when she was 15 - she had a massive crush on her best friend Lucy and told mom and Lance first (their other siblings found out through evesdropping and general sneakiness) and told dad a few days before her Quinces. He didn’t show up so when the father-daughter dance came up Lance was the one who calmly got up - as if it were meant to be him up there with her and danced with her as she tried not to cry. And the first person Lance told he might be Bi was Elena. (She always kinda knew)

She regularly features in Lance’s videos (she sort of half lives at his and Hunk’s place - crashes on the couch every other night) known (early on) in Lance’s post-moving-in-with-Hunk videos as That Cuban Lesbian™ who always interrupts Lance’s videos to complain or yell at him in Spanish. Ofc anyone who’s a real Lancelot fan knows who she is.

She was in his Coming Out video where he told the world he was Bi - and they called mom together, for support, and then told Hunk. (Hunk cried many tears)

She had a Very Gay™ crush on Shay when they first met and it’s a running joke that Hunk got to Shay first and that Elena is Bitter about this.

She has a mini lesbian flag tattooed onto her shoulder blade - Lance went with her to get it.

Keith’s friendship group (Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura, Coran and Alfor)

Pidge

Pidge is Nonbinary They/Them or occasionally She/Her pronouns

They identify as an Ace Lesbian (just hear me out - cute dates where Pidge is all flustered bc Pretty Girl!!! And just talking about Science Stuff™ and blushing aaraarrrrrrrgggghhhh)

Pidge is also a YouTuber but like an actual Big Time™ YouTuber - They used to be HackerKatie but then they came out and changed their name so now they’re HackerPidge (If you’ve ever watched MilesChronicals that is what Pidge’s Channel is like - also a Gaming Channel - for Gaming)

They live in a space-y flat with Keith, Shiro and Matt but they’re like never there??? (Once they straight up disappeared for a week and one morning Keith walked into the kitchen to just see Pidge sat on top of the fridge eating a bowl of Lucky Charms™)

One time they pulled a massive prank on Shiro (which they ofc recorded and put on YouTube) and when Shiro found out he banned them from YouTube and all Social Media for two weeks. Turns out that was a Bad Idea™ because Pidge fans (Hacklets) started Major Discourse on Twitter and Tumblr bc they didn’t get updates and there was nothing on Pidge’s social media (there was a theory that Pidge was dead). Shiro allowed Pidge back on YouTube and stuff and Pidge made a video explaining with Shiro in the back of the video holding one of those Shame Signs that said “I banned my child from social media for two weeks and accidentally started an internet war”

wait wasn’t this supposed to be about Pride???

help

Pidge is wearing a top that says “Male/Female/Don’t worry about it” - their galaxy backpack is littered with buttons about gender (e.g. ‘ask me about my pronouns’, and the nonbinary flag) and their sexuality (e.g. ‘beautiful day to love girls’, ‘girls, girls, girls’ etc.)

They have the nb flag and the lesbian flag painted on their cheeks and THEY/THEM painted in block capitals on their forehead.

NEXT PERSON

Shiro and Matt

Shiro is a very Bi Dad Brother and he is Very Tired™

Matt is the Gayest being you will ever meet.

He and Matt have been dating since High school, they were best friends until Matt blurted at Prom to the entire student body that he’d been in love with Shiro since middle school

Shiro felt the same and they started dating (The entire school was relieved - there were betting pools on when one or the other was finally going to fess up)

They have a joint YouTube channel (GaysInSpace - Matt-Man and SpaceDad) Its mostly a fitness/yoga and some make-up videos (they did the Boyfriend Does My Make-up - it was horrendous) He did a galaxy make-up tutorial ONCE because he and Matt had just got into loads of space shows/films and was forever named SpaceDad because of it.

They mostly do couples yoga and fitness videos which generally turn into shenanigans after the first like ten minutes - they are the power couple of space and their fans named themselves the ‘Gaybies’

Shiro and Matt have matching shirts and hoodies

Hoodies: Matt - If found return to Shiro / Shiro: Keep him.

T Shirts: Matt - My Boyfriend is Bi-Lingual (bc Shiro can speak fluent Japanese) / Shiro - My boyfriend’s gay, but I’m not.

They have their flags painted on their faces - Gay for Matt and Bi for Shiro.

Matt bought a giant gay flag at the start of the parade and has since tied it around his shoulders

Shiro’s holding a sign that on the front says “God said Adam and Eve so I did both” but on the back has a message that Matt hasn’t seen “My boyfriend has no clue I’m going to propose today.”

Shiro proposes halfway through the parade (Lance’s group was actually just a little behind them and he and Hunk caught the entire thing on camera). The music from the parade cut out and all of their closes high school friends, Shiro’s dad and Matt’s parents emerge from the crowd whilst a song they both adore (“Marry Me” by Jessica Smith - when Lance uploads the video he makes sure to link the song in the description to credit the artist) starts to play, Shiro gets passed a mic and he starts to sing (his voice isn’t perfect but it’s damn good) When the chorus (May All Recognise Real love Yours and mine Make all love Equal) comes on the friends and family members hold up the lyrics to spell out MARRY ME. Matt is completely stunned (the gay flag cape had been stolen by Keith earlier so at least he didn’t look like a complete idiot) Then Shiro’s getting down on one knee and opening a box with a ring in it at Matt’s crying.

“What do you say, Cadet? Wanna get hitched?”

“Oh for christ- Just put the ring on my finger and kiss me idiot!”

Matt’s still crying as Shiro slides the band onto Matt’s finger and swoops up for a kiss, before turning around to yell “HE SAID YES!”

The crowd goes wild

Allura

Allura is a beautiful Lesbian and she and Elena get on swimmingly (Elena has the biggest crush on her and she and Lance cry about how beautiful she is from her videos)

Her user is PrincessOfAltea she does beauty tips and tricks as well as a gaming channel - she’s surprisingly good and is one of The Best players in a game called Altea (It’s an RPG Quest series) - her subscribers love how amazing she is and she usually plays with Matt, Pidge, and Shiro - Keith sometimes joins in and he’s surprisingly good.

She’s Alfor and Coran’s daughter (Alfor’s biologically - they got a surrogate mother - who they still keep in contact with - she’s Ace/Aro and also goes to Pride with them but she couldn’t make it this year)

(Coran is wearing this )

She met Shiro through working out at the same gym - He mad a mini bi crush on her and gushed to Matt about the Pretty Girl at the gym for weeks

(Matt didn’t get too jealous - as soon as he lent over and pressed a kiss to Shiro’s lips, he would generally shut up about Pretty Girl and think about Pretty Boyfriend instead)

Allura is covered head-to-foot in glitter (as are Coran and Alfor) because of an incident that happened at Shiro’s flat with Pidge, a pop-tart and glitter Allura was opening to dab on her face.

She has the lesbian flag painted like war paint on her cheeks and a pastel top with two girls kissing on it that says “Girls like Girls like Boys Do” on it.

She’s also parading around with a sign that says “I love my emo gay son” with a picture of Keith’s face on it.

Keith

Keith has been out for years. Literally since he was thirteen.

(He came out via a dinner conversation, when Matt was over for dinner at the Shirogane Household one evening. Matt had been talking about how all teenage boys are supposed to be obsessed with girls and wanting to date girls etc. and Keith had simply said “Well I don’t like any girls but I was in calculus the other day with Jared and I thought he looked cute. I wouldn’t mind being his boyfriend.” A bug eyed Papa Shirogane had asked “Keith are you gAY?” - Keith had asked what that meant and after Shiro had explained “B-boys who l-like other b-boys... romantically.” Keith had shrugged dismissively and said “Well I guess then, yeah, I am.”)

He’d also been watching SirLancelot’s videos since Lance had begun YouTubing (at first they’d just been braces-Lance and Hunk prank videos and relatables middle schoolers version) And has pretty much been In Love since.

However, this was Keith’s first ever Pride - the only reason he’d actually agreed to go was because he knew Shiro planned to propose and he didn’t want to miss that, despite the overwhelming threat of an large-crowd-induced anxiety attacks.

He’d gone with a simple gay outfit, black shorts, ratty converse, flannel around his waist, rainbow suspenders and a tank top Shiro had gotten him especially (that said Too Gay For This World)

At first Keith had refused to wear it (he secretly adores this top and Shiro Knows)

He has his own YouTube channel which isn't isn’t nearly as popular as Lance’s - but he has a solid fanbase

His user is CryptidKeith and his channel is called The Keith-Files - Conspiracy Theories

His fans are called his Cryptids and he is continuously referred to as “The Wild Keef” due to a comment Pidge once made in one of their Conspiracy collabs

Of course Hunk and Pidge have done many collabs and when its mentioned that most going are YouTubers they decide to meet up and introduce their friendship groups - Lance decides to vlog it all as he is anyway - First Pride.

[Part 1]/[Part 2]

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meghanmcguire · 7 years

Text

In Honor of the End of Pride

I’m bisexual.

No, there’s really no need to throw me a parade.

So, just to clear a few things up:

No, I’m not a slut. This is a fun misconception about people that just because they like people of more than one gender they are more sexually promiscuous. In fact, despite the increased options of people I could date, I am still having exactly zero sex.

I’m not confused. I mean, I am confused. Like, how does health insurance work? What is a deductible? Will I have figured this out by the time I get kicked off my parents’ insurance? But I’m not confused about my sexuality.

I’m not trying to get more attention. I can understand how you could be confused because I’m a writer and performer, so everything I do is, on some level, for attention. But actually, I’m just attracted to men and women. It’s not about seeming cooler or more interesting or about writing this think piece. It’s just about who I’m attracted to. End of story.

Good, I’m glad we got all of that out of the way.

I had flirted with the idea of being bisexual for years. Just like I’d flirted for women for years…HEYO! I didn’t always have the language and understanding, but it was a process™.

My first foray into queerness was at the tender age of six. I had received an invitation to my first ever wedding: my uncle’s civil union to his partner. I was initially confused, because I had never seen two men ride off in a carriage at the end of a Disney film, but my mom explained it to me. “Sometimes boys marry boys and girls marry girls.” Simple enough. Once I got over the fact that neither of them would be wearing the big, white dress, I was all in. I even suggested to my mom that someday I could marry my girl friends. Now, this wasn’t so much an expression of my sexuality (because I was a child) as it was a pure curiosity, but it was the first time I realized that this was a possibility.

In middle school once, my friend Julia kissed me on the cheek. It wasn’t romantic or anything. We had just been talking in the hallway on our way to class. When we went our separate ways, she kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye. It was friendly, and that was just Julia: affectionate and forward. My cheek burned on that spot all through pre-algebra. I was very aware of the fact that I was a girl who had been kissed by a girl ON THE CHEEK.

“Am I lesbian?” I wondered as Miss Pillsbury instructed us to solve for x, probably. “I could be. If one in ten people are gay, then maybe I’m the gay one.” Despite being in this advanced math class I didn’t exactly understand how statistics worked and assumed that in every group of ten people there was EXACTLY one gay person. And I thought that I was that gay person in this math class. By the end of the class, I had talked myself down. You’re not a lesbian. Remember? You’ve been in love with Alex since the first grade. Besides, you like to wear dresses and painting your toenails. You can’t be a lesbian.

In high school, I definitely had a crush on some of my friends. If you’re reading this and think I’m talking about you, I’m probably not. Sorry. I kept those feelings to myself. But as a way of justifying those feelings to myself, I took on a new philosophy: “Everyone’s a little bisexual.” I’d explain it to my female friends by saying, “Well, everyone thinks Beyoncé’s hot.” My friends would agree, of course, that Beyoncé was hot. Case closed.

It was a way of making myself feel normal, like my attraction towards women wasn’t a deviation from the norm, but rather a part of the norm.

I was a very vocal ally as I advocated for marriage equality and insisted that GAY IS OKAY!

“I’m not gay,” I would start, reassuring my listener that I wasn’t different, “But I support gay people.”

Now in college, I started experimenting…not sexually, because I continue to be a prude and incapable of flirting. But I started asking those “What if” questions. What if I weren’t straight? What if I were, say, bisexual? What if I had been socialized to believe that I had to be heterosexual from a young age, because of movies and T.V. and the complete lack of LGBTQ history taught in schools? What if everything isn’t black and white? What if there are many shades of the rainbow? Oh, is that what the flag means?

I was learning about all this stuff - gender politics, internalized misogyny, socialization, queerness – in an academic setting. It was stuff I talked about wearing tweed suits and reading glasses low on my nose, as that is what all academic environments look like, but it was all kinda abstract, hypothetical. If a person were to be bisexual, then they would be made to feel like their sexuality isn’t legitimate, because it doesn’t fit into the binary categories of straight/gay. Slap a citation in there and that could very well be an answer on one of my queer studies exams. But none of it was real. It was all just things on paper in fancy-schmancy textbooks and academic journals. It wasn’t me. It was someone. Someone to be studied and discussed in the classroom, and then wrapped up in a perfect bow for an A on a midterm paper. I was fascinated by it, passionate about it, curious. But I still couldn’t say why all of this hit so close to home.

Until (bum bum BUM!) October of 2015.

I was at my first counseling appointment in my school’s health center, filling out the patient intake form. I was having a little bit of a flare up in my depression and anxiety, because of some family stuff, and my mom insisted that I started seeing a therapist again. She was, as she often is, right. Aaaanyway. I was filling out the form when I got to the question: “What’s your sexual orientation?” I hit the button to see the pulldown options: “Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Pansexual, Other.”

For the first time, someone had asked me the question, given me the options beyond gay/straight. It wasn’t a hypothetical in my women’s studies class, it wasn’t some long-winded question for me to write an essay about. It was a question ABOUT ME. “What’s your sexual orientation?”

And then all those “What If” questions came to a head - all of the wondering and denying. But someone had finally asked me the question straight out.

I clicked “bisexual.”

And then I explained to my new counselor my complicated mental health history.

As I left counseling that day, I kept thinking it over and over again: “I’m bi. I’m bi. I’m bi.” It felt good. It felt real. “I’m bi. I’m bi. I’m bi.”

#pride #bi #lgbtq #lgbt #comedy #meghan mcguire #pride month

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