#i was writing to client A and mentioned client B who has been making both of our lives harder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pynkgothicka · 10 months

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I see the request is open. Hoseok's portfolio "me myself and jhope all new hope", the one he wore all black with fire behind him really gives an evil villain. So can you write yandere villain Hoseok? Thank you.

Ｅ.Ｖ.Ｏ.ＬＪＨＳ

Synopsis - You meet a man whose stuck in prison and start a relationship with him.

Pairing - Villain! Yandere! Dark! Jung Hoseok x Fem! Reader

Featuring - Alexa Demie

Tags and Warnings - Violence, Violence against MC, Manipulation, Smut, Fire

Authors Note - I HAD TO USE Y/N….. MY LIFE …… IS OVER

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

“Meet a inmate?” You looked back at your friend Alexa as you say at her computer. She invited you over under the pretense of needing help cleaning up. But instead she was playing matchmaker. “Girl why?”

“Because, your lonely so why not go for a guy who is actually looking for love? Plus I already got a guy lined up.” She took the mouse from your hand and switched tabs. There showed a remotely attractive guy, slicked back black hair, and dark black eyes. You continued to read his profile, almost as if you weren't already won over by his good looks.

Hi I'm Jung Hoseok! I'm pretty much stuck in here for a bit :( but it would be way better if I had someone to talk too while in here! Trust me I make a amazing boyfriend both in and outside of jail. Please send me a letter!!!

“I mean… he's not ugly…” You say looking at the other pictures he had up. “Wait a minute aren't you a lawyer?? Do you know this guy?”

“First of all, I can't divulge information about my clients. Second of all this conversation is off the books. Third of all yes??” Alexa shrugged smiling at you. “Give him a chance, trust me he's a sweet guy. He just got delt the wrong hand in life. And trust me a small bonus is that he's nearby!” She said rubbing at your shoulder fondly. You thought about it for a moment. Alexa had just gotten into your life and she already saw how lonely you were. Maybe that says something. It's not like you had something to lose if things don't work out…

“Fine… but first mere second I'm creeped out I'm cutting off contact!” You begrudgingly said. Alexa squealed before hugging you close.

“Trust me. You will not regret this.”

🖤

“You have a letter!” Hoseoks head whipped at the sound of a voice. He looked at the man snidely, before getting up and grabbing the letter. It wasn't his lawyers pristine yellowish tinted letters. So who in god's name would've sent him a letter?

He went back to his on the bed spot and opened it up. It was filled with stickers and polaroids. As he looked closer he saw it was pictures of his lawyer Alexa and another woman.

And she was gorgeous.

The stickers were of things he mentioned he liked, like music notes and album covers. Then a letter flew out, and of course it intrigued him. So he opened the letter and began to read.

Hi Hoseok,

I got your contact information from my friend Alexa. Apparently she's your Lawyer?? She maybe lied to me but it's whatever!!

I'm (Y/N), and she told me you we're looking for a friend or maybe even a lover ;)…

This caught his interest greatly and as he continued reading, Hoseok couldn't have been more excited. He was always somewhat lonely so for this to happen when he was at his worst.

It had to be fate.

🖤

It has been a couple of months and Hoseok finally convinced you to come and visit him. So you did, and the jail he was in was huge. It was considerably a supermax prison, so maybe that correlated to it's size. You had to wear jeans and a t-shirt, nothing too revealing and you could only go in with a traditional watch.

Another thing was that they had to make the visit private. Unlike the other women you talked too in the office, they had they're visits with others around in a large room.

This should've been the first sign of what you got into.

A guard led you past a door towards the back of the facility. Alexa stood by the door in the back, and once she saw you she gave you a smile. She walked up too you giving you a close hug. “Okay so, he may seem a bit intimating in person but I swear he's not actually like that.”

“I've literally been talking to him, how could he change that much?”

“Hey I'm just warning you. But I'll be on the other side of that door just in case you want to opp out.” But you nodded and jokingly rolled your eyes. Alexa let out a laugh and then she left signalling some guys down the hall. The door closed and you looked at your watch nervously.

And that anxiousness only increased once the man of the hour walked in.

He had on a set of cuffs on both hands and ankles. The guards with him undid his cuffs. Once he saw you his entire mood changed. He waited for the guards to leave and the door to close before he hurried close to you and gave you a suffocating hug. He then connected your lips, suffocating you some more. Once he pulled away he gave a sheepish smile. “Go ahead and sit down, Alexa gonna get us some privacy.”

“But she told me men were gonna stand there wh-”

“Well things change baby. Listen, I just want to spend all the time we have together, alone.” Hoseok said his mood becoming serious all of a sudden.

You just finally nodded while the two of you sat there for about a minute or two. You could feel Hoseoks eyes trail over you. And you just kept looking away. But then he spoke. “You've really made my life better you know that?”

Finally.

There he was.

The sweet man who'd been talking to you for the last 4 months.

“Aww you don't mean that….”

“I do. I really do. I enjoy talking to you, and just thinking about you, god you plague my mind.” Hoseok said rambling.“Also you look even gorgeous in person.”

“Aww I'd say the same for you. You look really good.” You said trying to at least give him some compliments.

“Well you know I've been working out!” Hoseok said flexing his arms jokingly. You of course laughed, loving his sense of humor.

“I'm actually kind of nervous...”

“Why is that?”

“It's just that, I've never done this! The whole dating a inmate thing, I mean so far it's amazing. But it's just weird, you know?”

“Well, I say it's no different then us meeting on a dating site.” Hoseok says smiling even more at you. He grabs the back of your chair and pulls you closer to his own. “They should be gone at this point, so come on I want to feel you.”

Hoseoks hand rests on your thigh,his hands slowly rubbing at them, bringing you comfort.

“So you never told me what you did to get in here.” You ask looking at Hoseok, as his expression drops. He looks down at the table.

“Well, It was something… I really don't want to talk about it.” You instantly feel bad for even considering asking about it.

“Well we don't have to talk about it… We could do something else. I'm willing to do or talk about anything you want.” You say reaching a hand to touch his arm.

“If you only knew what I wanted to do to you…”

🖤

“God you're so fucking tight!”

Hoseok had you bent over the table in the room as he pounded into you. What turned into a playful conversation with some flirting in-between, turned into Hoseok fucking you like a starved man.

“God you're so beautiful…” Hoseok groans into your ear bringing you back too reality. Your nails dig into the table as Hoseok pushes the small of your back into the table.

His other hand spread your ass cheeks, as he let spit dribble onto your pussy. This only increased the sound of his quick and rough thrusts.

But you begin to feel the hand on your back get hot, and not just a bodily overworking hot, but unreasonably hot. It burned. It burned like all hell.

“Shit cum on my dick baby, I need to feel it…” Hoseok groaned out. You began to try and reach for Hoseoks hand to get it off of you. But that did nothing for you as you cum from Hoseok intense fucking, so does he.

And that's what it takes for Hoseoks to finally let go. He pulls out, taking two fingers and stuffing any cum that dared to come from your hole back in.

“What was that??” You ask trying to catch your breath, as you fix your clothes. “Like it felt like your hand was going to burn through me.”

“Oh I don't know. Maybe you lost your mind from how good I was.” Hoseok joked, fixing his own clothes. His brown jumpsuit is just about drenched with sweat. You laughed with him awkwardly.

Did you really just imagine the sudden rise in temperature coming from Hoseok?

Maybe…

But you're interrupted by a loud bang on the door. “Jung! You got two minutes!” A voice booms outside. You quickly fix your appearance and hair, just as Hoseok does.

“Wait!” He say before quickly digging into his pocket and giving you a paper frog. It's folded using your favorite color of construction paper.“I made it for you! I hope you like it…” Hoseok said looking away for a quick second. He teetered from left and right, his nervousness showing more than ever right now.

You then quickly go to give him a hug and kissing his cheek affectionately. Hoseok smiles, turning to kiss you on the lips quickly. “Hoseok… I love it! Now let's get out of here before they come in and see what we did.”

“Okay Okay! You promise to come see me again?” His tone dropped to a serious level.

“Of course I will.” You said following him out. This was easily the best day of your life.

🖤

Around a week passes and without a single letter or call from Hoseok. It hurts, you really thought the two of you bonded when you finally did visit him. Maybe you creeped him out? Or maybe you were just dumb and he played you for just a quick fuck.

You couldn't figure it out and honestly you'd just stare at the frog he gave you. It seemingly mocked you in the worst way possible.

You get up and head to your small living room, trying to distract yourself you turned on your television.

“Breaking News, Super Villain Jay has broken out of prison and the police are on high alert. If y-” You turn off the television quickly. That's far too harrowing for the moment. That would only make you worry more.

So you go the bathroom and wash your face with some water.

When you walk out of your bathroom you could feel your apartment becoming hotter. Then you see your doorknob, physically turning red and emitting a large amount of heat.

You wouldn't dare touch it. And you watched as it popped out. This was the sign to get away from the door as it opened slowly. You hid behind your small kitchenette, the island hiding your body perfectly. The person wore leather and smelled like smoke and a active fire.

“I know you're here…” A voice taunts as they walked into your living room.

“Where are you…?”

You took this as a time to slowly make your way too the front door and slide your way to the hallway. You could easily point this to being Jay. But what would Jay have anything to do with you?

You called Alexa as you hid under the stairs. But she didn't pick up.

So you tried again.

She didn't pick up.

But you couldn't figure that out as a figure stood over you.

“Hello.~” He said smiling at you. But you didn't stay as you crawled past him and got up going upstairs.

“Fuck! No! No!” You said considering the fact that you couldn't go down and have probably trapped yourself. But hearing someone else's feet quickly behind you, brought you back to at least getting away from Jay.

You made your way upwards towards the roof. You closed the door behind you and locked it with the metal barre connected to the door.

But that didn't hold your assailant.

The door began to melt, a large hole forming in the center. Jay laughed at seemingly your attempt to stop him as he ducked into the hole and came out.

“Why did you run away from me baby?”

You knew that voice… you finally to think deeper than the surface when it came to Jay.

Then it hit you.

Your boyfriend.

This was your boyfriend.

“Hoseok?? You…. you're Jay?!” You said genuinely dumbfounded.

“Yup. Surprise!!” He said coming close to you.

“B-But why?!” You yell moving back towards the edge of the building.

“I've been watching you… always just waiting. Then when Alexa got into contact with you I just knew this would be so easy.” He said approaching you, His hand made is way to your waist, holding you close to him. So Alexa was never your friend… she just used you and led you to getting with him.

“Aww are you upset at her. Don't be, she stuck with me even after I got into jail. That part wasn't planned at all. Then after you visited me, and then allowed me to fuck you. I just knew you were the one. You'd always been the one…” Hoseok touched your forehead with his own, the heat radiating off of him making you sweat profusely

“So… when I felt your hands…”

“Just a little experiment gone wrong. Made me who I am now…” He said raising a hand a flame forming in it. With that flame he showed you a silhouette of the two of you together. You were kissing him… something for sure you'd never do again after finding all of this out. “Look at how happy we could be…. All you have to do is agree to this.”

“Agree to what?”

“To me. To this. To us.” Hoseok said his eyes going wide. They were filled with insanity and all you could do was shake your head no.

“No. No no… Hoseok, Jay I don't fucking know but let me make this clear. I don't want this! I don't want you anymore.” You said jerking away from him. You had no where to go.

“Who said you have a choice? You either come with me… or I burn this entire fucking unit to the ground. Id kill everyone inside. Starting with you.” Hoseok let your waist go as you lost your footing. He grabbed your wrist as you dangled off the side of the 8 floored apartment unit.

“Fine! I'll go with you just please don't hurt me… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” You said beginning to cry, tears cascading down your cheeks. Hoseok smiles at you wickedly as he pulled you up quickly connecting the both of your lips.

“I knew you'd make the right decision…”

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crplpunkklavier · 1 year

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can we perhaps get an apollojustice analysis🧐👉👈

he’s rude he has no volume control he cries in court he punches his clients he’s my sonsband he’s the light of my life. greg davies vc its LITTLE APOLLO JUSTICE

alright so i don’t know that i’d call any of what i do here a character analysis. i know you sent this in response to my post with klavier writing advice, so i’ll try to do the same here. this is a collection of things i try to keep in mind when i write apollo.

1. he’s rude

this one’s great. followers may know this about me, but i am also rude. it’s come up in my posts sometimes, because i actually have such poor manners that it becomes a problem for me every now and then. i swear a lot! it just comes out of me. sometimes, i have to write characters who don’t swear, or who swear very little, and that’s hell. that is hell for me. it’s a miracle i haven’t cursed yet in this post. just makes it easier to express shit, you know?

but apollo swears. i promise you that. apollo justice swears like a fuckin sailor. i…… will be honest i can’t be assed to find it, but there is a post on here where a lovely tumblr user broke down the speaking styles of various aa characters in the japanese original. if anyone wants to go find it and let me know, be my guest!! but what i remember about that is that apollo justice has a pottymouth. and ever since i’ve read that, i have clung to it with all my might. look me in the eyes. let apollo justice say fuck.

he also has no social skills. he isn’t rude on purpose! although i think sometimes he can be. i think he can be a mean little pissant when he doesn’t like someone. you know he would have ended daryan crescend’s life then and there if they hadn’t been in court.

but anyway, i think sometimes he is also just pretty bad at talking to people. he’s a lawboy! he’s built to practice law! he doesn’t know how to do anything else!! when he sees that vera is scared in the detention center, he makes the perhaps worst attempt at smalltalk we ever see in the entirety of the series. he doesn’t know how to be tactful, and he isn’t going to learn, because aside from law apollo is also all about truth. he sees lies, and he’s a bad liar himself, but sometimes lying is expected of you in social situations, and he’s not going to do it, and he won’t like it when other people do it. he’d rather be rude. and he will be. he will be very rude.

2. he has no volume control

as a person with adhd. very nice to write. i’ve never uttered a quiet sentence in my life. everything i’ve ever said i’ve screamed at the top of my lungs. also not on purpose! it just comes out that way.

if you write apollo justice, just remember to make him scream now and then. whenever he’s remotely excited about anything? scream. have him animate it with his body too! apollo’s sprites don’t just slam the desk, he hits it with both fists! he jumps back in surprise when something happens, and he pokes his big old forehead when he has to think. he’s an animated guy, and whatever reaction feels exaggerated to you in the moment is probably the one to go for.

3. he cries in court

and now, for something completely different.

he’s a little softie. :] we all remember apollo being in tears when he thought trucy had been kidnapped, even though he barely knew her then. he also mentions journaling in canon, where he goes back and leaves intricate retellings of his adventures in his diaries. also!! he really enjoys lamiroir’s music. for all that he’s loud and brash and impulsive, at the end of the day, the man probably sits down with a cup of tea and a soft-lit desk lamp to write about his day.

i would also like to take this moment to remind everyone of his reaction to meeting plum kitaki.

???: You, kid with the hair. You want something? Apollo: Urk! M-M-Me? No, not a thing! Bye! Trucy: Apollo! We can't leave without questioning her! What if she knows something! Apollo: B-But th-the Kitaki Family...! (They're the biggest organized crime syndicate in town!) ???: If you're going to ask something, ask it. If you're man enough. Apollo: Waaaaugh! R-Right! Trucy: Yay! Way to whip him into shape, ma'am! Apollo: (Does she know no fear!?) Plum: I'm Plum. Plum Kitaki. Wife of the fourth head of the Kitaki Family business. Friends call me Little Plum. Apollo: I-I'm l-little Apollo Justice, attorney at law. *gulp*

that’s right. he’s little apollo justice. :) cmaaahn. he’s just a little guy, and it’s also his birthday.

4. he punches his clients

ok, he punched one client.

i’m bringing these up in this order though because i think apollo’s impulsiveness is a really fun juxtaposition to him shaking and sobbing at having to speak to a woman on the street and in broad daylight, across from an active police scene swarming with cops no less, just because her name is kitaki. because i still think he IS impulsive.

i’ve had klavier bring this up in exorcism because it’s still one of my favorite apollo bits:

Klavier: Let us imagine you are walking through the park. You see two men facing each other. One with a pistol trained on the other. ...What would you do, Herr Forehead? Apollo: Well, I... I guess... I would try to stop them. I'd probably shout, "Stop!" Klavier: And you, Fräulein? Trucy: M-Me? Well... I'd probably scream, "Eeeeeek!" [a bit later] Stickler: Tossing the pistol aside, he fled from the scene. Apollo: [Hold it!] You didn't try to apprehend the criminal?

i just… i mean, who would. who in their right mind would “try to apprehend the criminal.” i’d shit my pants, klavier, that’s what i’d do in that situation.

but apollo seems pretty sure that he would intervene, and you know what? i believe him. i think if apollo justice walked through a park and saw a guy shoot someone and then take off, he would fully chase after him like a fucking rabid dog, and then he’d probably jump him and call the cops, and when they’d get there they’d find bite marks on the guy for some reason.

he just also gets really scared when he sees mafiosi, instead of attempting to arrest them. essentially i just think, apollo sees something, anything, and reacts to it in the biggest, wildest way possible. a mafioso will have a normal conversation with him and apollo will scream and cry. a passerby will hold a knife to someone’s throat and apollo will single-handedly beat him to a pulp. phoenix wright will smile at him and apollo will uppercut his childhood hero. it doesn’t have to make sense. it just has to be batshit.

5. other stuff

two more things i’ve thought about a lot while learning to write apollo are his loyalty and his confidence.

loyalty first: there is not an ounce of misplaced loyalty in this man. once it became clear that kristoph was the borscht bowl club killer, apollo was on him, and he took him down. i fully believe that if phoenix had been the killer, apollo would have done the exact same to him. there is one moment in turnabout succession when kristoph first takes the stand, where apollo kind of gulps and thinks that this still feels like he’s his mentor, but he gets over that PRETTY quickly lol. and he wasn’t thinking about sparing kristoph for being his mentor, he just remembered to stand up straight and be a good lawyer in front of him.

confidence second. i get. SO bothered. when people write apollo without it. you listen to me. this five foot nothing freak thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread, and as a german person it’s difficult for me to say this about bread, but he’s right.

apollo thinks he’s fucking fantastic. he’s VERY proud of his vocal routine, he thinks it’s GREAT that he screams every thought he’s ever had. he’s really nerdy about law, he tells plum and trucy that he loves long and boring procedures as a lawyer, shamelessly. he very firmly believes in his hairstyle. everything you see apollo justice do he does on purpose. (which also makes me think that he knows EXACTLY what he does when he rolls up his shirt sleeves every morning. whore.)

the few times we see all of this slip is when he has to deal with rock star klavier. there’s a couple of times where he thinks that he wishes he could be as cool as klavier, but i’ve honestly never read that as apollo suddenly becoming self-conscious. i genuinely think he’s just annoyed that there’s someone whose shtick (being a very weird very loud lawyer but tall and with a guitar) looks cooler than his own shtick (being a very weird very loud lawyer but short and with no guitar). apollo thought he was hot shit before he met klavier and he continues to think he’s hot shit after he’s met klavier, but now he also thinks that he should be rich and famous for being apollo justice because that would make him even cooler. and, again, i kind of agree.

i think that’s mostly it? he’s a good guy and i like him. he gets annoyed with his clients for being weirdos sometimes, but there is that underlying theme in aa4 where all of apollo’s clients did commit a crime, just not murder, and apollo never drops them for it. he is an almost exact replica of hercule poirot in that he is short, weird, REALLY sure of himself, and doesn’t care if people commit crimes except if it’s murder, in which case he cares so much that he becomes a feral animal. all he needs is a mustache. and he’d probably think he’d look really cool with one too.

#catboyed #apparently this is exactly 1.7k #oh also ill mention again just in case: didnt play aa5-6 never have never will #imco

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imposterogers · 1 year

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hello, I don't know how serious you were when you said "someone needs to psychoanalyse Harry Osbourn" but ask and ye shall recieve? I am running on 4h of sleep, and just write my penultimate final so, like, this isn't the most consise or detailed but it does answer every rhetorical(?) question you posed. I'm explaining all the psych stuff assuming you don't have any orientation to the bullshit I'm about to spew, and I'm adding in links wherever explaining this will take too long so.... this is going to be a little pretty long.

Now, ideally psychoanalysis would be done via multiple hour long session (like nearly 20+) where the client just talks about their past memories, childhood, how they feel right now and what they think. Occasionally we throw in a dream or two, to see what their unconscious desires are. Essentially it’s very talk based, and in person is obviously the best. Since Harry is (a) fictional, and (b) not giving me enough screen time in the movie to just use the words he says, I'm not treating Harry like a client. Instead I'm just taking what we know about him and applying psychodynamic theories to him and treat him like a case study.

Now, I'm not actually sure how serious you were about the Psychoanalysing

We’re beginning with two main theories, 1. Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development: where the exploration of sexuality, formation of gender, it’s influences on self and the desires of a person are formed. 2. Erickson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development: which tells us what social needs were met, what weren’t, and how that influences personality/behaviour.

Note: Because it’s Freud and the late 1890s, sex and gender are the same and only the binary exists. Thus, this theory doesn’t look at gender, sexuality and is VERY outdated. These explanations are only used for heteronormativity, and homosexuality is considered a perversion from norm (which I’ll go into)

#1: Infancy to Toddler-hood:

My guess, due to Norman being abusive, cold, distant and uses money/luxury gifts to show his affection (if any), shit hits the fan from Stage 1 of the Psychosocial Stages: Trust vs Mistrust (0-Toddler age). At this stage it’s super important for a child to be around their primary care givers. Not having a primary care giver (parent, grand parent, nanny — someone who’s there with the child forming a deeply intimate bond) leave children with a sense of mistrust in the world. It make’s them prone to insecurity, and give the child unhealthy patterns of attachment, generally making them very “hope-less” (as in they are more likely to feel hopeless, isolated and alone and not just like... pathetic).

Assuming Emily Osborn died like a year after Harry was born, it's been somewhat implied she died due to post-pregnancy complications, Harry didn't have his mom around during the v imp phase. Norman is said to have really loved her and there’s a chance that after her death, Norman blamed Harry and treated him terribly. Either way, this means Harry grew up without the necessary bond post age 1, which has fundamentally fucked him and his perception of the world. Pair with this the entitelement that comes with wealth, and it's just truly too much.

#2: Toddler-hood to Childhood:

Now I’m going to the phallic stage (ages 3-5, toddler to child). This is from the psychosexual development, Freud’s theory. (Note: not the same theory as mentioned in the previous point). The middle stages in both theories are somewhat irrelevant to explain why Harry’s so.. that, but I can elaborate if you need it??

During the phallic stage, the idea is that the (cis)male child struggles with the Oedipus complex. He develops an attraction for the parent of the opposite sex, but is threatened by the parent of the same sex and thus begins to imitate the same sex parent to win the opposite sex parents affection.

So the son is attracted to the mother, but is threatened by the father (this specific fear in men is called castration anxiety for boys). Thus they imitate their father and his behaviour, hoping to receive affection from women who are like his mom. This obviously can influence the way he treats women.

Freud says neither heterosexuality nor homosexuality are innate, they are instead how we resolve our phallic stage — heterosexual is normal way to resolve it, and homosexual is to deviate from the norm. Now homosexuality could be a fixation of this stage — not resolving the conflict with his father and being heterosexual, will make him gay.

But I think he’s bi, so Harry associates with his father the way Freud expects children to, thus making him attracted to women as per normal (and also, this is why he identitfes as male, and doesn't have gender confusion). But he has unresolved his issues with Norman and wants his fathers affection and love. Both his parents are equally unattainable to him, one is dead the other is distant. Thus, Harry has to deviate from the norm on an unconscious level, and wants his fathers approval which he will get via the same resolution. This just means he loves and seeks approval from both men and women, which just like... makes him bi???? (keep in mind, sexuality and gender spectrum is the biggest limitation to Freud's theory

#3: Childhood

I’m skipping to the inferiority vs industry stage (ages 6-11) in the psychosocial stages where the child learns to either be industrious — confident, social, ambitious; or feels inferior.

I think Harry became industrious, he was taught to be strong and be the ruthlessly aggressive bully, and was also doing that because it was what got him his dad’s approval. He unlearns it, but it is also his nature, in a more innate way.

This stage in the psychosocial theory, starts right where the phallic stage in psychosexual ends. So, I’m guessing that Harry resolves his sexuality crisis via Freud, but his social needs of love, belonging and care are still up in the air, which he resolves via Erickson’s. This appeases his base consciousness, he has two problems, they are solved. It doesn’t matter if it’s healthy or not, he is literally 10. He does what worked for him, and associates with his fathers way again making him the confident bully that we see him as.

So now we come to Peter... what’s up with that?

Peter is smart like his father. His need for his fathers love is thus projected here. There’s a sort of transference, his need for approval from dad is not only found in Peter, but like Peter actually genuinely loves him too. Emily, his mother, no idea what she’s like but let’s she loved him unconditionally, and he probably felt safe around her — Peter evokes those same feelings in Harry. Thus, his means of resolving his gender and sexuality crisis during the phallic stage is coming back to bite him in the ass, via Peter. He’s like the mix between what he needed socially, love and acceptance; with what he desires, approval from his father who is a smart man

Why does he treat MJ like that? Because that’s how Norman shows love and affection to a person. Norman just spoilt this boy with his riches, and didn’t show an ounce of love or affection, and thus Harry assumes spoiling MJ is how he can show that he loves her.

Why is he dating MJ, the girl his best friend loves. Remember that bit about attraction to the opposite sex parent, so you associating with the same sex to win affection? Well. He’s doing that… but wrong. He is associate himself with what the object of his affection (Peter) is attracted to (MJ), in hopes that he will become like said object of attraction (like MJ), thus winning over (because Peter will now want him). I am not claiming that Harry is normal, or ok. I’m just saying, this is how you can explain it.

Why take Peter out on these not-dates? Same logic as point 2, it’s how he shows affection.

Why does Harry ask Peter to go hit on MJ? Denial. The defence mechanism of denial specifically

I can go on, but I will stop. PS. Also, you’re right. Not only is Harry in love, he subconsciously desires Peter? Like on a carnal level.

harry osborn has been psychoanalyzed

#ok go off?????? this is so interesting #long post #harry osborn #raimiverse #spiderman

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storybook-with-a-hug · 1 year

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Marinette’s Closet Part 1

So I admit I’ve not been writing as much lately for my new chapter as I could have been. Suffering a writer’s block of sorts. However, while I haven’t been able to get into the mood to write, I have still been focusing a lot of attention onto my Fix-It Miraculously story.

Instead of writing, what I’ve been doing is a bunch of character design. Now, this is both redesign of future heroes and new heroes that I don’t really want to get into at this point because major spoilers for my series, and also what I have the ability to share here and now with expanding what the characters wear.

However, there are seasons and time passing and all that jazz so I’m dividing things up somewhat. Below is Marinette’s season 1 Fall wardrobe, ie, what she wears for the first few months of the story. Pajamas not included. I’ll talk about each outfit in more detail below the picture counting the top left outfit as (a) and then going across each row in order. Oh, and I literally googled “quick fashion base” and picked the first one that looked like it would work. The base was on really extreme highheels so I had to change the side of the foot in each one, but there you have it. I did it so I wouldn’t take forever worrying about posing and proportions and all of that and could just focus on the clothes.

(a) Marinette’s default outfit from the show. Cute and her, but also not much to say about it because we’ve all seen it a million times. I stated in the beginning of Origins that Marinette, the spring before the series starts, went through a “flower phase” where she was embroidering everything with flowers. So a lot of her left-over clothes from that time will have flower-print somewhere on them. Those that don’t are likely new additions to her wardrobe since spring, which I don’t think is all that unreasonable seeing as she’s a designer who mainly wears her own creations.

(b) Another official outfit of hers, though this one was from promotional art. I used it as her “dressing up” design for Adrien’s birthday when she was trying to give him his present. It’s a frilly-rimmed baby-t with red plaid dress and blue denim capris. I couldn’t make up my mind out of Marinette’s four footwear choices which one looked good with it so I didn’t end up drawing shoes in. But seeing as all pieces of this wardrobe are interchangable with the other pieces, she’ll probably end up wearing all the footwear with at least some combination of clothes.

(c) A top for warmer weather in a pretty pale teal with a pair of ripped jeans. The top is another carry over from last spring as she embroidered a bunch of flowers and leaves into the upper section. Her hair is also in twin plait braids instead of her normal pigtails. I mentioned her wearing her hair like that in a scene with Manon a few chapters back and while it’s not her usual hairstyle cause it takes time to get ready like that, when she is awake early enough and not otherwise busy, she can wear her hair like that as well.

(d) This is an example of her “business” look. It’s the sort of thing she wears when meeting with clients for her commissions, carefully selected to make her look more mature and professional and less like a little kid running a lemonade stand. She IS 13 and trying to start up her own business, remember, so to help people take her seriously, she has to dress the part. So a simple silver shirt and a jacket as well as a pair of black skinny jeans topped with wearing her hair in a bun instead of pigtails to help add to the professional look.

(e) This one was one that I really hesitated on, because it’s not really her normal style. The colours aren’t her usual bright pastels and the aesthetics just don’t quite seem to match. But at the same time I was trying to look a little outside the box with the outfit as early teens is when a lot of people start shifting into the more niche styles as they try to define themselves and she is a huge fan of Jagged Stone, a rock star, rather than the teeny-bopper type music one would usually associate with a preppy/dreamy/hyper-feminine girl around her age. So I figured why not have her attempt experimenting a bit with her style and try a new look from time to time?

(f) In the Origins chapter, I talked about how Marinette really loves cute skirts and things, but because of her clumsiness she doesn’t want to wear them ever in public because she’s worried about tripping and flashing everybody. So instead she just has a couple of skirts that she wears only on the weekends when she’s not intending on going out anywhere because she loves them so much. This one here is a drawstring gathered skirt out of the same material that broomstick skirts are made out of, along with just a simple white blouse and a denim jacket covered in patches and embroidery. Including Jagged’s head-outline design that Luka wears on her right arm and her entire left arm being encased in a winding vine embroidery that she did last spring. There’s potential for more patches to be added in the future.

(g) Another cute skirt, this time a pink cotton skater skirt with a sleeveless blouse. On the white blouse there are embroidered a whole bunch of white flowers.

(h) A pair of purple tights with sheer paneling on them and a top/hat that were inspired straight from Marinette’s concept art where she wore a cream off-the-shoulder dress. I changed the button on the hat to be a flower instead of a ladybug shell because Ladybug merch is only started circulating at this point in the series and Marinette purposefully is a little behind the curve on that trend because she’s trying to avoid drawing attention to the similarities. I also added some flowery embroidery to the top of the outfit. The tights were originally going to be more pink, like a sky magenta colour, but then it ended up becoming more purple when I coloured it in and at the time I was just eager to get on to the next outfit and figured I’d come back later and tweak the colour, then just never did and decided it looks fine as is.

(i) This is just a white denim top and deep pink denim jeans. And another hat, but... the hats can go with many different tops, I just sort of picked which ones to show them on a little randomly. This hat is knitted, something Marinette made before Adrien’s scarf.

(j) This one is a little more of a rock-and-roll look. No, that’s not a leather jacket, it’s a business suit jacket with shorter sleeves, a white tanktop and the skirt that it took me three hours to draw the little red flowers and golden vines patern on all the layers of. The tooth necklace is a real tooth and was a present from Noona Gina from her travels.

(k) Not much to say on this one either, other than that in Origins Marinette expressed that she liked teal and pink together so that’s why I chose the colours I chose for the outfit. That, and apparently coloured denim was a big thing in the 2010s so that’s why all the technicolored pants.

(l) A chinese-inspired red jacket (look at the ties in the front) over the same white blouse as was in (g) only this time not tucked in and shorts. I know short-shorts were sort of the thing to wear with thigh-high socks during this time, but she’s also 13 so her parents didn’t want her wearing short-shorts and she compromised with mid-thigh shorts and slightly shorter thigh-high socks. Also a hat.

(m) The grey striped part is a really thin, flowy material, the skiny jeans continue on the technicolored rainbow of denim. Marinette has multiple pieces of jewelry that she’s cycled through for longer than she’s had her earrings, she just doesn’t wear them with every outfit.

(n) That cotton skater skirt from (g) is back with a denim shirt that she’s tied off. I strongly think there’s likely a big flower design on the back of her shirt, but I couldn’t make anything look good so I erased it and am leaving it up to the imagination of the viewers to picture what it could look like.

(o) Same denim shirt, this time untied, and covered with a cream knit shirt and more skiny jeans, this time with flowers embroidered/silkscreened onto them. Not really sure if I like the necklace she’s wearing. Found it online and it sort of looked like the one she wore in the concept art and thought I’d put it on her here to make the outfit look less plain. Not sure it succeeded.

(p) Just another look I found online that I thought might work. Mainly picked out because of the darker top and red scarf. I wanted her to have more coloured shirts than just those samey pale colours and this one had a nice accessory that came with it.

(q) Black shirt covered with silver flowers and a denim skater skirt and leggings. Maybe something she’d wear outside the house because of the leggings? Still, more cute skirts and another 1hr+ to do the detailing on the top.

(r) And lastly, a simple pink jacket over a white tanktop and skiny jeans. The jeans were meant to be the same ones as in (p) and the white tanktop was supposed to be the same one as in (j) though they ended up having different necklines when I actually looked at them together. But it’s more proof that outfit parts are switched and swapped to make different end results.

So in grand total, that’s 16 shirts, 7 jackets (including one overalldress thing), 16 pants/shorts/skirts, and four shoe options. That’s a lot of ways to mix and match to cover three months of fall before we get into the winter clothes. Some of these clothes will carry over into winter with maybe just a change of footwear while other pieces will be put away until spring or gotten rid of as she rotates in new fashion ideas. I’ll be taking a bit of a break before starting in on her winter wear, but I figured I’d share what I had so far for anyone who happens to stumble across this and decides they’re interested.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #dressing the characters #my fic #long reads #ml fanart

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nopefun · 3 years

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Interview #495: Quince Pan

q: Give a short introduction of yourself: a: I am Quince Pan, a documentary photographer born in 2000, currently based in Singapore. I am now waiting to enter university to study Philosophy, Politics and Economics.

q: What is your series "JBM" about? What was the process of making the series? a: “JBM”, my family’s abbreviation of “Jalan Bukit Merah”, is a documentary photo project centred on my maternal grandmother, Lau Giok Niu, her cultural heritage and her HDB flat where I spent my childhood under her care. It is my first exhibited series and also my first serious long-term documentary project.

In 2015, I followed my grandmother to visit her hometown in Fengwei, Quangang District, Quanzhou City, Fujian, China. Bringing my camera along on the trip, I noticed that instead of shooting purely for fun or beauty, I would include certain objects (for example, a calendar on the wall) in my frames because they had historical significance. I submitted those Fengwei photos as my portfolio for the 2016 Noise Art Mentorship (Photography and Moving Images). I got selected, and my mentor, Jean Qingwen Loo, urged me to pursue a project which I could speak authentically about. Through her criticism, I learnt to further prioritise meaning over style. My grandmother and my childhood were topics close to my heart, especially as she cared for me during my childhood and gave me the gift of the 头北 Thâu-pak dialect, a unique variant of Hokkien from the Quangang District. Eventually, “JBM” was born as my mentorship capstone, and was exhibited at the “Between Home and Home” Noise Art Mentorship Showcase at Objectifs in 2017. I haven’t stopped shooting; that’s why it’s an ongoing long-term project!

“JBM” contains a range of visual styles, ranging from photojournalistic fly-on-the-wall documentations of heated family discussions and visits by distant relatives from China to more tender images of sunlight at the void deck where my late grandfather’s wake was held in 2006. Rituals and festivities are anthropologically significant, so I pay particular attention to Chinese New Year, the Qing Ming Festival and the Winter Solstice, which my family celebrates. I also look at how other photographers document their families: Bob Lee, Nicky Loh, Bernice Wong, Brian Teo and Nancy Borowick.

More broadly, “JBM'' extends beyond photography and is a family history project. Since 2013, I have been researching the Quangang district, 头北 Thâu-pak dialect and my grandmother’s clan. I discovered that other descendants from her clan established an ancestral temple in Singapore, which initially stood on Craig Road but is now housed in a flat in Telok Blangah. I already did some fieldwork, interviews and preliminary documentation, which led to an article I published in April 2021 in Daojia: Revista Eletrônica de Taoismo e Cultura Chinesa. Maybe I will explore this in greater depth in future photo projects!

q: How did you get into photography? a: When I was around seven years old, I loved to play with my father’s Fujifilm compact. As a young student, I hadn’t heard of terms such as “light painting”, “Dutch angle” and “rule of thirds”, but those were the techniques I subconsciously used in my photographs.

I entered the Noise Art Mentorship, as previously mentioned. During the school holidays, I worked as a media intern at Logue and as an assistant at Objectifs for the “Passing Time” exhibition and book by Lui Hock Seng. Through these work experiences, I learnt so much from Jean Loo, Yang Huiwen, Ryan Chua, Lim Mingrui and Chris Yap: news angles, editorial writing, scanning and touching up negatives and slides, colour management for print, liaising with clients and issuing invoices, among other skills. As part of the Noise Art Mentorship, I was given a copy of “+50” by the PLATFORM collective, which opened my eyes to diverse approaches within the documentary genre. I started to regularly attend talks at Objectifs and DECK, where I got to know people in the local photography scene, particularly in the documentary tradition.

q: You also do videography. How do you see it in relation to your photography? a: Videography requires a different way of seeing and thinking compared to photography, because video has additional temporal and auditory dimensions. With photography, I don’t have to think about how long I want a scene to be, what foley and B-roll I want to overlay, or have a storyboard in my head before heading out to shoot. In that sense, photography is more reactive to and receptive of situational contingencies because it requires less pre-planning.

Also, photography can be a solitary endeavour, but it is quite difficult to make films alone, and the schoolmates I used to make films with have since embarked on separate paths in life. However, photography and videography share the same basics as visual media: composition and sequencing.

Fundamentally, I see myself as a documentarian, and this applies to any medium I work in, be it photography or videography, or even writing. The end goal is to record and share history by telling stories from lesser-known perspectives. Thus, the topics of my video projects are similar to the topics of my photo projects; sometimes I do both side by side! The films I made were all documentary shorts of places which do not exist anymore, such as the Hup Lee coffee shop at 114 Jalan Besar and the old Sembawang Hot Spring before NParks took over the site from MINDEF and redeveloped it.

Currently, I am working as a videographer for Sing Lit Station’s poetry.sg archive. Thankfully, this job can be done solo!

q: What or who is inspiring you right now? a: Bob Lee, for being an amazing father and spreading hope and joy to others through his images. Alex and Rebecca Webb, for pairing literature with photography. Tom Brenner, for approaching photojournalism like street photography. Sim Chi Yin, for her international achievements and being both an academic and a practitioner. Brian Teo, for being an eminent contemporary. Last but not least, Kevin WY Lee’s advice, “CPR: Craft, Point, Rigour”, which I try to benchmark my work against.

q: Upcoming projects or ideas? a: Nothing concrete on my mind so far. I am just going to see where life takes me and what topics life makes me want to explore or talk about.

q: Any music to recommend? a: First and foremost, my fight song: “倔强 Stubborn” by Mayday. A close second, Queen’s 1986 “Under Pressure” live performance at Wembley is a transformative experience. The catchy “他夏了夏天 He Summered Summer” by Sodagreen brings out the grandeur in the mundane. “Silhouette” by KANA-BOON and “Everybody’s Changing” by Keane remind me of the fragility of life and time. I also like The Fray, Kings of Leon, Last Dinosaurs, Stephanie Sun, Tanya Chua, and the Taiwanese indie band DSPS.

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#Quince Pan #nope fun #photographer interview #singaporean photographer #photo documentary

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atruththatyoudeny · 3 years

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Happy 28th! Here are all the 14 fics I read and enjoyed this month. As always, all the love for all the amazing authors in this fandom! ♥

In The Still Of The Night | jacaranda_bloom | Dirty Dancing AU - a/b/o - prejudice - gender stereotyping - class divide - angst - pining - smut - 69k In a society where omegas are expected to follow a predetermined path, Louis strives for more; for his voice to be heard, for recognition, for true love. In a world where your past defines your future, Harry fights against the system; for equality, for a different life, for acceptance. When their two worlds collide, will they be beaten down by conformity or will they rise up and forge a new path together? OR the Dirty Dancing AU where Louis is a feisty omega who wants to change the world, Harry is an alpha from the wrong side of the tracks, and nobody puts Louis in a corner.

Plant New Seeds in the Melody | 28sunflowers | enemies to friends to lovers - miscommunication - misunderstandings - emotional hurt/comfort - Original Character Death - grief/mourning - slow build - smut - 58k After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of. Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening. But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

take my hand, wreck my plans | amomentoflove | Cinderella AU - a/b/o - royalty - Minor Character Death - emotional abuse - magic - 38k Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him. “Mr. H,” he whispers. The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.” “Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.” “Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…” “Dance?” Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.” Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.” Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

One More Taste of Your Lips | Canadianlarrie & MsHydeStylinson | canon compliant - reunion tour - angst - internalized homophobia/biphobia - cheating - smut - Coming Out - 80k It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again. What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways. * Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world. But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly. And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember | jaerie | time travel - Eroda - period-typical homophobia - anxiety - depression - discussion about suicide - self-discovery - post-break up - 54k Carefully he set that negative down and lifted the paper to see there was another beneath. This one again was a young man, this time posed against an antique car. He lifted a few more negatives out one by one, each a portrait of the same man with various backdrops. The man in a meadow, in an office, leaning against a doorframe — even one in his underwear grinning at the camera. On the edge of each negative printed in slanted, handwritten characters were the initials and date. H.S. 1924. He quickly but carefully packed them back into the box and buzzed with excitement. He couldn’t wait to develop them to see exactly what had been captured in the images. It was a find that felt like a puzzle to piece together. H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world? A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.

Know a Trick or Two | SadaVeniren | Harry Potter setting - mpreg - magic - kid fic - - genderfluid character - smut - intersex - 44k The night before Louis is scheduled for a Portkey to begin training with the Vratsa Vultures in Bulgaria he heads into Muggle London for one last night of fun. A few months later he finds out he’s having a child. Eleven years ago Harry had a one night stand and now there’s a strange man on his doorstep telling him his daughter is something called a wizard and she’s got a place at the British wizarding school Hogwarts. Aka the one where Muggle Harry and Wizard Louis have a one night stand and get more than they bargained out of it.

come away with me | suspendrs | Minor Character Death - friends to lovers - sexuality crisis - emotional hurt/comfort - anxiety - smut - 80k Louis had such big plans. He wanted so much out of life, and so did Amy. Now Bridget is going to grow up without a mother, and she’s always going to wonder what it would be like if this hadn’t happened. He wonders if she’ll blame him for her mother’s death as she gets older, or if she’ll understand that this is just as painful for Louis as it is for her. Louis doesn’t know how he’s going to raise her on his own, because he’s a fantastic father, yes, but he’s always been the fun parent, and Amy was in charge of the rules. He doesn’t know how to make sure Bridget has everything she needs all the time, doesn’t know how to make her favorite meal or how to do that one braid she loves to have in her hair or how to teach her to be the best person she can be. He doesn’t know how to live without Amy, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

we made our promises (we said our vows) | millsx | Military AU - established relationship - kid fic - angst - hurt/comfort - mentions of PTSD - mentions of depressions - mentions of anxiety - injury - long-distance relationship - 21k Fairy tales always end with the Happily Ever After; the princess escapes her evil stepmother and gets married to the knight in shining armor. It turns out real life doesn’t care about Happily Ever Afters and sometimes problems appear when you don’t expect them to. Harry sure didn’t, not after years of being married.

Love, Ever After | jacaranda_bloom | a/b/o - farmers markets - soulmates - pining - miscommunication - fluff - banter - smut - 21k One would assume that the charismatic omega in charge of the local matchmaking service would have found a mate and settled down ages ago. His clients, in fact, are always a bit surprised when they come to learn that Louis is still single. But Louis doesn’t mind, not really. His standards are just high; he is happy holding out for his alpha, his soulmate, and chooses to not waste his time with anyone else, despite what his friends might think. That is, until his best mate from uni drags him out of bed far too early on a Saturday morning after a night of drinking to go to a farmers market, of all places. It’s there that he proceeds to make an utter fool of himself in front of the hottest alpha he has ever laid eyes on. There’s truly no coming back from that, is there? OR The one where omega Louis makes love matches, alpha Harry makes cheese, and meddling friends might finally make their dreams of finding their soulmate come true.

Hometown | allwaswell16 | High School - College/university - driving - heartbreak - memories - friendship - happy ending - angst - 2k On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

fever dream high | wildestdreams | friends to lovers - childhood friends - a/b/o - fluff - angst - smut - mutual pining - High School - 30k "Excuse me, what?" Harry licked his lips, carefully looking him in the eyes. "I will spend your heat with you so you're ready by Monday to play your game." "Harry," Louis began, suddenly at a loss for words. "I couldn't ask you to do that." "Why not? You just said you trust me." "You're my best friend. There's no one I trust more than you." "Then what's the problem?" "Well, friends don't usually help you through your heats or ruts, so excuse me for being a little skeptical." or A High School ABO AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and nothing more until things start getting a little complicated and they're faced with feelings they never wanted to confront.

We are the same, you run in my veins | 28sunflowers | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o- soulmates - wolves -pack dynamics - 4k When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir. Harry. The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole. But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

Divinely Blessed | thinlines | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - established relationship - PWP - 17k “I heard you, Ni. But what do you mean?” “What do you mean what I mean?” Harry rolled his eyes as he shoved his alpha friend down onto a seat. “Did you mean you lick someone out or…?” “Nah, mate! It was me! I got licked out!” Harry could only stare at Niall in horror. Alpha Harry prides himself on having the bravest and most caring omega who might or might not just fulfill his sudden curiosity.

This chemistry like candy to me | CuckooTrooke | a/b/o - kink discovery - mpreg - male lactation - smut - 8k "It's just... Are you aware, that, uh... You're- You're kind of leaking." Harry feels his blood run cold. The heart that was thudding so loud and fast drops to his stomach, and his shoulders hunch in embarrassment. "Excuse me?" Harry asks once he manages to gather himself and recover from the shock. He automatically steps back but since he's already squeezed in the corner, it doesn't do much to put any distance between them, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "Wha- No. Oh my god, I wouldn't- No," The man says as he realizes the misunderstanding, and wildly gestures to his chest, "I mean your- Your chest. Is leaking." OR Harry is 8 months pregnant with a poor balance and traitorous nipples. Unfortunately for him, that is precisely when he meets a beautiful alpha in a packed London Tube. Fortunately for him, the said alpha might just be the best thing he has ever come across.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #my reads #monthly fic rec #monthly reads #completed fics #larry fics

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klaineownsmysoul · 3 years

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Why does D agree to certain things? It’s probably because the alternative is worse but then I still don’t understand why he agreed to the sham. He could not have right? Idk what would have happened had he, but I feel anything is better than being married to her. All she does is ruin his reputation, and give him a straight image (to his team), so I genuinely wonder what image he wants for himself because if he didn’t go along with it, what else could they have painted him as that they haven’t already and continue to?

There are endless opinions on this, depending on who you ask. The m/iarren stans and the fans who believe that every message from D’s SM are actually from him will tell you that there was nothing to agree to because he loves her and wanted to marry her because he can’t live without her. They have a love that’s truer than true and are #couple goals. They are perfect for each other in every way and he adores her every breath and she’s just as devoted to him, which is why she follows him everywhere he goes. There’s nothing odd about the length of their relationship and the fact that no one involved in it can give you a consistent time frame. You ask 5 people how they met or when they started dating, you’ll get 5 different answers. All those pics of them together where she’s grabbing onto him and clutching at any limb within her reach are just her being affectionate. The fact that they sit like strangers on a subway during one part of an interview and when it’s noticed, the next part that’s released has both of them being all touchy feely is just coincidence. The dude bro slang and emoji filled posts are just him having fun and being spontaneous. They’re cheeky and silly. Its just him living his best life and there’s nothing forced or untoward about it. He loves only hanging out with her trashy besties and spending nights entertaining the masses in her piano baby/lifelong dream business that she can’t be bothered to promote or run while he accompanies her on the piano looking completely lifeless as she drunkenly butchers one of the 4 songs she knows and thinks she can sing. He’s just being a supportive partner when he talks about the awful branded merchandise from the strip bar during a tv segment that’s supposed to be about his career and then models it later on in a cute coupley pic where he looks like his soul has just left his body. Having her accompany his every move is just what married couples do or didn’t you know that? It’s not natural for one partner to do something without the other, especially if it’s career related. All celeb couples are joined at the hip once they officiate their own wedding. All celeb couples have a wedding - or a great party as it’s sometimes known as - that is corporate sponsored to within an inch of its life. All celeb couples who have one person say they didn’t want to be in a public relationship have a cover story done in Vogue magazine and then have their pr team make sure the link to that article is noted and shared in practically every print interview done for the other person for over a year. This is all completely normal behavior for a 100% believable couple.

There are no such things as contracts that dictate behavior and managers and pr teams don’t post things on their client’s behalf. Lavender relationships and marriages are a thing of the past. No one would dare impose something like that on a celeb in 2021. It must be nice to be that naive. Or sad. Mostly sad. If you believe that, then you haven’t been listening to the stories of celebs who’ve been closeted and decided to come out at the risk of their career. It’s a thousand times easier to market someone as straight - there’s no denying that. And when you’re young and just starting out, you have no leverage whatsoever and will go along with what people tell you to do. If you don’t, you don’t have a career. It’s as simple and evil as that. They hold all the cards and if you want to be a musician or an actor, you have to play by their rules. You sign a deal and before you know, everything has snowballed and you’re in so deep, you don’t know how to begin to climb out. Look at Taylor Swift and the mess she’s gone through with her songs and she’s one of the biggest singers on the planet. Whether you’re a fan or not, you know who she is. If she can’t get control over songs that she freaking wrote because of a shitty contract she signed when she was like 16 without massive amounts of legal issues, what hope do the people who are less famous have? Look at what D said about his lack of input on the evolution of Blaine’s hair and how he didn’t want to rock the boat. Something as simple as that and he didn’t feel like he could or should speak up. Now apply that same mentality to a legal document and think about how hard it would be to try to countermand any part of it, especially when you’re as young as he was then.

D’s team is particularly troublesome because they’re lazy and incompetent and have no interest in marketing him as he really is. The easy way out is the straight way out and that’s their lane. That’s the one they’ve chosen and they will ride that till the wheels fall off. Let’s be honest: D is all RR has. He’s going to milk every drop he can out of D while he can. There’s no celeb out there with an established career who’s considering new management who looks at D’s situation: the circus that is always around him, the garbage that’s posted on his SM in his name, the endless ads for things like ugly ass jewelry and a paid promo pic for a 5 star hotel in the Philippines from the group honeymoon (not a thing) that they crashed after D spent days sifting through garbage with women who live in abject poverty and will never make the kind of money that even a meal at that hotel would cost which totally makes him look awesome - and think “yes! This is what’s been missing all along. Where do I sign?” He’s not getting a free home reno and some TV time from the girl who played Luna in the HP movies and B/ecca T/obin - someone who played a forgettable and unremarkable bitchy blond cheerleader (def breaking the mold there, totally not a trope that can be found in every 80s high school movie or tv show) and now hosts a ridiculous podcast. So he’s going to push his own agenda and make sure that everyone knows his client is straight at every opportunity that’s presented and foist his bride in our faces at even more opportunities just in case it wasn’t clear because oh my god did you hear that D is straight? And he’s been dating this super cool rockstar woman since he was an embryo so there’s no way anything could have ever happened between him and someone else from this show he was on for a while. It wasn’t a big deal or anything. He had a small role and a love interest but they weren’t real popular. I mean if you’ve seen one gay teenage romance, you’ve seen them all. The show’s been over for 5 years and they’re hardly ever mentioned now so there’s no point in keeping them alive. It’s not a role that meant anything to him and it’s certainly not something he would want to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of. I wonder if he was allowed to do that as long as managed to shoehorn in a mention of his lovely ball and chain of many moons. Because that’s what always happens. Doesn’t matter what the topic at hand is - it always seems to come back around to her. And she just smirks and flashes her fake engagement ring at the camera and eats it up because he does all the work and she reaps all the rewards. Like RR, she’ll never give him up without a fight because what then? No one will write articles about what a badass she is. No one will be there to do free promo for her strip bar. No more red carpet pics or designer duds gifted to her. No more free trips to Europe or last minute weekend getaways with his stylist. No one will care about her super secret Instagram account and post pics from it that she’s forwarded over so they get picked up and pumped out to news blogs for maximum coverage. No more pics with actual famous people because who’s inviting a career less nobody to events? She’s a woman in her mid 30s who behaves like an 18 year old on spring break and thinks nothing of it. She doesn’t give a shit how her behavior reflects on D because she doesn’t care about him. All she cares about is what he can provide her and that’s secondhand fame, money, and the image of the best wife to ever wife. But if he was single, then there’d be even more questions about his sexual orientation than there are now and no way to refute anything. So we get this clusterfuck. What they fail to understand is that the harder they push, the more holes they create and the more distasteful this all becomes. I just want to be a fan of D. That’s all I want. But I can’t do that because he comes with a front and center “work family” that I can’t get away from.

I sometimes don’t know what he wants for himself image wise but I truly don’t think it’s this. The difference between in person D and SM D is too great for me to believe he’s really cool with all of it. I don’t know how many more times he has to say that he’s rarely on SM, which should be the reddest of red flags that most of the stuff posted is not coming from him. The fact that he’s taken to SM to rebuff things said in his name that are patently false and insulting reinforces that belief for me. He’s not perfect but he’s not the fake barely literate guy he’s portrayed as. I wouldn’t still be here if I thought that’s who he really was and I wouldn’t care at all about his personal life if it wasn’t shoved down my throat ad naseum.

Well this post kinda got away from me. 😊. I’m so very tired of all this and if I’m tired, D must be exhausted.

#pathetic and obvious table for one please #Hollywood is effing toxic #he deserves so much better

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obxlife · 4 years

Text

Childishness (JJ x Reader)

A/N: And now a JJ fic! I’m so excited about this one. I swear this anon has the best ideas ever (I’m pretty sure it’s the same anon that requested Hotel Madness). I just love this kind of childish and fluffy concepts with JJ.

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word count: 3,704

Request: Hey! me again — so like an imagine where you're close friends with Kie and work at the Wreck with her and just always having this banter with JJ or something

Summary: You had met JJ because he was a friend of your coworker, Kie. And from the start you both seemed to hit it off. If by hitting it off you meant banters and ridiculous discussions.

Warnings: A bit of swearing, a bit of angst, a bit of abuse (no fighting but bruises and the aftermath of abuse) and a whole lot of FLUFF

CHILDISHNESS

JJ had first heard of you from Kie. He was out on the water with all of the Pogues when she had mentioned you, her new coworker, and how cool you were.

“So there’s this girl, Y/N, right?” Kie began to say. “She started working my same shifts about a week ago and she’s awesome. But you guys would never guess what she did yesterday!”

The rest of the Pogues weren’t very interested in what Kie was saying (except Pope, who stared at her with loving eyes), so they simply muttered out a small, “What?”

JJ was at the bow, pulling up a net filled with fishes onto the boat as John B was sipping a beer next to the fishing rod he had perched on the side of the HMS Pogue.

“She kneed Rafe in the balls!” Kie exclaimed. John B spit out his beer out and JJ whipped around to look at Kie. “Holy shit, really?” John asked from his side. JJ was now interested in this girl. If she could kick Rafe with no shame, then she was definitely worthy of the Pogue’s time.

“Yeah! He had been trying to flirt with her all night and then when she finally rejected him, he got all pissy and began to come at her.”

“And then she kicked him?” Pope inquired. Kie nodded her head vigorously. She took a sip from her beer before laying it down next to her and continuing on the bracelet she was making.

“I think we should hang out with her. She’s really cool.”

The Pogues never agreed to actually hang out with her, but JJ’s curiosity was peaked just enough for him to head over to the Wreck the following afternoon during Kie’s shift.

Opening the door to the busy restaurant, JJ spotted Kie behind the counter. He sat down in front of the bar and smiled at her. Kie just gave him a knowing look.

“She’s outside right now, but she’ll be back soon,” she said, turning her back on him to get some drinks for a couple of customers. JJ opened his mouth out wide, offended that she had said that (even if it was true).

“What? I only came here to see you!” he exclaimed. Kie rolled her eyes and noticed you walking back inside. Following Kie’s eyes, JJ spotted you for the first time. His mouth fell open again. This time in shock.

You were exactly his type. From your hair color to the shape of your face to your lips to everything. You were everything he had ever wanted in a girl.

“I can’t believe some of these customers!” you told Kie, not even sparing JJ a glance.

Kie laughed. She knew what you meant. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Turning towards JJ, you smiled at him. “May I get you a drink, sir?”

JJ knew that you thought he was a customer, so he kept playing along with what you thought. “Yes, please. And also some fries, babygirl.”

At the nickname you rolled your eyes. This was what you had been talking to Kie the past few shifts you had together. Customers were always trying to flirt.

Kie laughed at your reaction before throwing the rag in her hands at JJ’s face. Shocked you turned to look at her. Noticing your expression she laughed even louder.

JJ removed the rag from his face and glared at Kie. “Wow, thanks, Kie. That was so nice of you.”

Kie continued to giggle while your questioning eyes darted between the blond boy and the brunette girl.

“That’s you get for trying to flirt with her, J.”

You were still confused. “Um, excuse me? Do you two know each other?”

Kie simply nodded while JJ continued to glare at her. “Yeah. This is JJ, my best friend.”

“Oh,” you blushed. You had been pretty rude to him before and now it turns out he’s Kie’s friend? “I’m sorry for being rude. I’m Y/N.”

JJ stared at your hand that was outstretched before you. He took it, shaking it up and down before relishing in its softness. He smiled, making you smile in return. Then you let go.

Before an awkward silence could fall over the three of you, JJ said, “I wasn’t joking about the drink and the fries, Y/N.”

The teasing tone in his voice made you laugh. Instead of heading towards the kitchen, you turned to Kie. “What do you think? Should we get him what he wants?”

Kie pretended to think before shaking his head. Once again JJ pretended to be offended before transforming his facial expression to resemble one of a small puppy.

“Your puppy eyes won’t get you what you want, JJ,” you said, already comfortable around him. He had an aura that was friendly and sweet, and you liked it. He seemed to be nice and funny and a good friend, which were all traits you cherished in people.

“You’re the first girls that have ever resisted my pleas,” JJ stated in a breathy voice. You giggled once again as Kie moved past you towards a table that was on her section of the restaurant.

“Yeah, right. I don’t believe that at all,” you lied. He was attractive, and you could bet that he had spent many nights with many girls. And that he had a line of girls hoping to be his next conquest.

“Are you kidding? Have you seen me? I’m the definition of hot,” he stated as a fact. Grabbing onto your tray, you began to move away from the counter.

“I’m working right now. I’m too busy to hear your dirty lies!”

As you walked away JJ checked you out, shaking his head. He was glad that you had taken his joking lightly, and even gladder that you had been able to respond to his banter so smoothly. Not only were you perfect look-wise, but you seemed to be perfect personality-wise as well.

Once you had returned to the counter you found JJ still there, playing around with a lighter. Kie was still not back and you guessed she was probably taking orders from new clients that had entered the Wreck recently.

“So, are you like an arsonist or something?” you asked him teasingly as you approached him. You had cleaned out most of your side of the restaurant, which meant that you could relax for a little. “You seem to like playing with the fire of that little lighter.”

JJ smirked. “I might be. I guess you’ll never truly know.”

You gasped, pretending to be scared for your life. He looked up at you as his fingers stilled, cocking an eyebrow in your direction. Once a smile broke out onto your face, his smile followed along.

*********************************************

“You know that the Lake Ness monster would win, right? Like, it’s obvious,” you said before heading to a table to take the family’s plates. You smiled at the small children and their parents before saying, “I’ll be right back to take your orders for dessert.”

JJ had been following you around the Wreck, trying to reply to your conversation. “You’re kidding, right? King Kong would win!”

You spun around to look at him. “How? I bet King Kong can’t swim, and we specifically said that they were in a body of water.”

You continued to make your way to the kitchen, pushing the doors open as JJ followed you right in. Nobody even flinched at his presence. He had been there every time you had been there during that day. He had been visiting the Wreck a lot more frequently since he had met you, always trying to make an excuse to see you. He would mostly steal Kie’s belongings when she was hanging around the Pogues and then take it back to the Wreck the following day. It was the best way to make sure to have an excuse to see you and talk to you.

JJ would not admit it to his friends, but over the past two weeks he had developed a crush on you. It began with a simple infatuation the first day he had met you, but it had developed to a full-on crush after having bantered with you for the first time.

Your childishness was something Kie lived for. There was never a boring moment between you two, and hearing your ridiculous arguments always made her day better. She was also happy for her blond friend. Kie could tell that seeing you was JJ’s favorite part of the day. The smile on his face every time he was around you or around someone that mentioned you was enough evidence of this.

“Have you seen King Kong’s muscles? That boy is ripped!” JJ exclaimed while putting his hands before him as if it was obvious. You still had your back towards him while you left the kitchen, but turned your head to stare at him. God, you thought.

You headed towards the table you had just been at a minute before and took your notepad from the pocket of your apron. “Okay, what may I get you for dessert?”

As the family relayed their order to you, JJ stood at your side waiting. He watched you write, the loopy and smooth letters of your writing covering the page. When he saw you hesitate regarding an order, he said, “Vanilla ice cream.”

You gave him a thankful smile as you wrote the last order down and went back to the kitchen. JJ was still hot on your trail. “So? What are you going to say to defend the Lake Ness monster?”

You laughed as JJ kept pushing. “Or are you ready to admit that I’m right?”

“God, no,” you exclaimed. You pinned the order at the wire that hung over the dessert station in the kitchen. “Look, is King Kong ripped? Yes.”

JJ did motions of victory as you turned towards him. “Are his arms going to be of any use if he can’t swim? No, they won’t.”

JJ froze in the middle of his victory dance. “Huh?”

You giggled for the millionth time around JJ. “I rest my case.”

You pushed past him and exited the kitchen. You stood behind the counter, grabbing a coke can and spilling its contents into two glasses.

You placed one on the counter for JJ and sipped the drink from the other cup. It was cold, which refreshed your sweaty body. JJ took his usual seat behind the counter and smiled at you before taking a huge gulp from his coke. Your nose scrunched up.

“How can you drink that so fast? The gas bothers me way too much to be able to do that.”

JJ burped. “I’m just too good at chugging. Years of practice at keggers, you know?”

You swatted your hand in the space between you and JJ, trying to get rid of the smell of coke he had burped out. “I bet you suck at chugging. You’re just saying that to make yourself sound badass or whatever.”

JJ laughed and exclaimed, “I swear it’s true! Just ask Kie about it.”

You giggled and took another sip from your cup. Suddenly a bell chimed from the kitchen. You stood up and headed inside taking the dessert order from the counter where it was perched on. Once outside you headed towards the table of the small family and placed the food down.

“And the vanilla ice cream,” you stated placing the tall glass on the table along with a spoon. “Is there anything else you would like?”

The mother of the family smiled at you before shaking her head. However, her small daughter said, “You and your boyfriend are really cute!”

You blushed. “My what?”

“Your boyfriend,” she repeated as if it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world. “The blond boy that follows you around!”

You turned to look at JJ. He already had his eyes on you and waved his hand when they connected. You blushed even harder than before and returned your body towards the girl.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you explained. She just shrugged and continued to lick her ice cream.

***************************************

It was the first time in a month that JJ wasn’t at the Wreck during your shift. You frowned at how bored you were. Everything seemed dimmer when he wasn’t around, and you felt yourself longing for his presence.

“Cheer up, baby,” Kie said to you. “He’s just busy. It’s not like he has another girlfriend or something.”

You sighed, rubbing your hands on your face before trying to slick your baby hairs back. “I know that. I just get bored.”

“Ugh, you guys are so in love it makes me nauseous,” she groaned, making you laugh.

“We aren’t in love. We’re just friends.”

Kie could only scoff. Nobody with eyes would ever believe that.

“You keep telling yourself that.”

You frowned at this. Did you and JJ really give off that impression?

You were brought out of your thoughts by a customer raising their hand and waving you over. You sighed, missing JJ.

**************************************

One day JJ showed up extremely bruised. It was a Thursday, which meant that it was your day closing up. The restaurant was almost empty and you gasped when you caught sight of him.

“JJ!” you sped to where he had collapsed. “Are you okay?”

JJ nodded slowly, but it soon turned into a shake of his head. “I got beat up.”

“Well, I can see that, Captain Obvious. What do I do to help you?”

JJ laughed at your response before simply hugging you. He breathed in and out, calming his heart. It had quite the opposite effect, as his heart began to hammer in his chest from being around you.

You wrapped your hands around his body for a few moments before pushing him back. “I’m pretty sure there’s a first aid kit somewhere.”

As you began to search for the kit, JJ clenched and unclenched his hands. He wasn’t going to tell you about his father, but he could at least seek comfort in you.

Placing the kit beside him, you began to clean JJ’s wounds. The ones on his face weren’t very big. The cuts had already begun to bleed less as you passed the cotton swab over them. The bruises were a bit bigger, and as you slowly raised his shirt (after asking for permission from him), you noticed he was completely littered with them.

You took out a tube of cream from the kit that said it would help get rid of bruising. Taking some of it in your hands, you used the fingers of the other to spread it over his skin as softly as you could. You didn’t want to hurt him more than he already was.

JJ tried to level his breathing. He hated feeling the way his father made him feel. Luke Maybank made JJ feel weak and sad and unloved. The exact opposite of what you made him feel.

Once you stood up and stared down at JJ you had the urge to hug him. So you did. He wrapped his arms around you. A tear fell down his cheek and onto the skin of your chest. His sniffles filled the silent air of the restaurant, and you were certain you heard the kitchen door close behind the last person leaving. Your hands moved up and down the blond’s back until you could no longer feel him shake.

He pulled away from you just enough to look up at you. He opened his mouth to speak his gratitude towards you, but you said, “I know, JJ.”

He closed his mouth again and pressed himself as close to your body as possible. His vulnerability shone new light upon him, revealing a side to the boy you had never seen. You wanted to help him and be there for him and just -- you wanted to love him.

Your realization made you freeze for a second, afraid of what it meant. However, not a second later, you realized that if it meant being with JJ than it was fine. He made it fine.

Trying to lighten the mood you said, “Are the other guys worse than you are?”

JJ laughed softly, tracing his fingers over the vertebrae of your back. His fingers circled them through your shirt. “You bet.”

His whisper was soft but he sounded strong. Because that was what he was. Strong.

You didn’t let go of him until the sun began to rise the following morning.

*************************************************

John B had noticed that JJ began to stay over at the Chateau less and less. He had decided that the next time he saw his blond best friend, he would ask him about it.

“Where have you been staying recently, man?” John B inquired the following day on the HMS Pogue. JJ was laying down at the bow of the small boat while Kie was seated on top of her cooler and Pope was resting against the seat behind the wheel.

“At Y/N’s,” JJ replied, not really thinking much about it. Kie perked up, as well as the two other boys.

“What do you mean ‘at Y/N’s’?” Kie wondered. Pope and John B weren’t really sure who Y/N even was.

JJ groaned. “I mean I’ve been staying at Y/N’s.”

“Are you sleeping with my friend, J?” Kie voiced out. That made everything click in John B’s and Pope’s mind.

“Holy shit, you got a girlfriend?” John B asked. He was surprised and shocked. JJ had always been a ladies’ man and never one to commit.

“No way,” Pope whispered.

JJ rubbed his hands over his face before putting his hands in his hair. “No, Kie. I’m not. But thanks for putting that image in my head and making me hard.”

The exasperated tone of his voice was enough to confirm that he was indeed not sleeping around with you.

Kie gagged at what JJ had said while John B let out a boisterous laugh.

“So what’s she like?” Pope asked.

“I’ve told you about her thousands of times already! Did you ever listen?” Kie questioned.

John B and Pope shared a blank look before muttering, “No, not really.”

It was JJ’s turn to laugh. Then he spoke, “She’s amazing, man. Y/N’s just easy to be with and she’s down to earth and easygoing and -- she’s perfect. Perfect for me at least.”

John B cooed. “Our little J is in love!!!!”

Pope laughed and began to poke at JJ’s side, teasing him about you. Kie joined in as well and noticed how red JJ’s cheeks were. He was blushing.

When everyone calmed down, Kie asked, “You actually love her, don’t you?”

JJ could only nod. He really did.

*************************************************

“Oh my God, shut up! You know burritos are better than tacos!” you shrieked at the blond in front of you.

You were closing up the Wreck, about to head home with JJ. He had arrived in the early afternoon and had been making conversation with you. Obviously you both fell into your normal antics. Childish banter.

“No way,” JJ laughed. He grabbed onto your hand and began to walk home with you. “I know for a fact that tacos are better. They are way more - I don’t know - fresh than burritos are.”

You looked down at your clasped hands and smiled. The past few weeks had been different compared to the first seven months of your relationship with JJ. He had been holding your hand and hugging you for longer than usual. And you absolutely loved it.

“How about we just agree to disagree for a change,” you offered to him, looking up into his baby blue eyes.

He smiled back at you and gave in to what you had said. “Okay.”

You walked in silence for a while, turning down a small street on the Cut where your house was. Your hands were swinging between your bodies and you wondered whether he felt the same things you did for him.

“What are we doing tonight?” he asked you. Normally you would always have a plan: a movie to watch or something to bake. JJ had always just followed along with whatever you wanted.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “We can do whatever you want to do.”

JJ smiled at this. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and hug you. So that was exactly what he did. After each of you had taken a shower and changed into something to sleep in, he pulled you into your bed and smiled at you. His arms went around your body and pulled you close to him.

You felt the sudden urge to kiss him. But you didn’t act upon it. You only stared at him.

He opened one of his eyes. “What are you doing?”

You sighed. You thought of what Kie had said to you earlier that week. He loves you, her voice rang in your head. I know he does, and I know you love him, too.

“I have a confession,” you began. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

JJ snapped his eyes open. “Oh.”

Silence floated around you only for a second before JJ spoke again. “Why don’t you?”

You stared at him blankly. “What?”

“Why don’t you kiss me?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know. I’m nervous, maybe?”

JJ laughed at the stressed tone of your voice. You were going to begin to rant soon, so JJ decided to prevent that from happening. He leaned forward and connected your lips for a moment. He began to pull back, but you wrapped your hands around his neck, bringing him back towards you. His lips were soft and gentle and sleepy. Your’s were too.

When you broke apart the both of you smiled.

“That wasn’t so bad, Maybank.”

JJ laughed and brought you to rest on his chest. “Don’t be so childish.”

You scoffed, offended. “I thought you loved my childishness.”

“I do,” JJ mumbled, drifting off. “I love all of you.”

You smiled softly, pressing one last little peck on JJ’s lips before laying down and dozing off.

“I love all of you, too.”

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #jj maybank #rudy pankow #jj x reader #jj x y/n #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader

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twstlotus · 4 years

Note

Welcome to Tumblr sweetie, don't hesitate to reach out in case you need some assistance! And as for a request, how about something like this: s/o has made a new friend at Royal Sword Academy and she now spends more time at that other h o r r i b l e school rather then at NRC! How would Leona, Riddle andAzul feel about that? (s/o is their crush) Hcs please! And, is this too weird??😂😂

thank you for your kind words! and no worries, your request is fine and it was fun to write. i also apologize if i get azul’s character inaccurate or anything of the sort.

regardless, i do hope you enjoy.

i swear i’ll learn how to shorten the length of my pieces soon

Leona Kingscholar

Leona would be the most jealous out of the three boys (and the most possessive and competitive for your attention).

What, you’ve got a new friend from that lame school full of lousy, pompous princes and expected him to be happy for you? You must be more naive than he thought

He’d openly display his discontent for your frequent visits to RSA to spend time with this new “friend” of yours and he’d simply let out a disgruntled sigh as a response to whenever you begin to speak of him.

While he doesn’t outright try to deter the friendship you have between you and the RSA student, he tries to at least improve the one you have between him and you in hopes that you see the time you spend with him is more enjoyable than the time you spend with that pretentious prince! Isn’t that right, herbivore?

He’ll follow along with your requests and be more compliant than usual– even attend classes to see you more often and hopefully be able to spend more time with you. He’ll also be more willing to help you with homework should you find difficulty in it, albeit at a price, of course. You didn’t expect to let you off scot-free, did you?

What does he charge you with? Well, it’s simple. Just don’t go off running to RSA more often than you do with him.

If you ask if he’s jealous, he’ll act annoyed and say that “he’s not even jealous by the smallest bit” and tell you to focus on your homework if you still want him to help you. He’s not the most patient person, he’ll say.

Despite how he seems to lead the act that he doesn’t care, Leona is afraid that you might abandon your friendship with him and direct your attention to the shoddy prince than him. He was never able to call anything “his own” so when he begins to form a crush on you, and thinks that his advances seem to bear fruit– he’s afraid that all that effort would be thrown down the drain if you were to find more of a liking towards the RSA student.

It’s your duty to reassure him that you’d still be by his side regardless of the friends that you make along the way. He puts a lot of trust in you, it’s only appropriate if you reaffirm that trust as well! Maybe then he’d try to accept the friendship you have with the RSA student. Don’t expect it to be easy, though, he’s a stubborn lion as everyone recognizes him as.

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is accepting of your friendship with the RSA boy.

Despite his nature, He doesn’t believe he has the right to tie you down to him or govern your relationships with other people. Sure he’s rather strict but that really only applies to the rules, plus he’s still...somewhat sensible.

If anything, he’s rather glad that you’re making new connections to other people. He himself wasn’t able to enjoy the luxury of having a large number of companions as you do in his childhood, so he wants you to be happy with the ones you were able to gain through your stay in the school.

In fact, he may sometimes ask you about Che’nya’s well-being now that the two don’t speak on a daily basis and can only speak briefly whenever Che’nya mysteriously appears in NRC before being chased out by a herd of what’s usually angry Heartslabyul students.

But when your visits to RSA have been becoming more and more frequent, to the point where Riddle hardly sees you in schools, that’s when he’ll begin to confront you about the matter at hand.

He’ll explain while he’s happy that you’ve found a new companion outside of the NRC, you need to remember to also spend time with the ones who are in your school. He’ll mention that Ace, Deuce, Cater, Trey, and many others miss your presence, but quietly mumble that he misses the moments the two of you would spend together, too– ah, what? He didn’t say anything…

Riddle isn’t wrong, the members of the Heartslabyul dorm do miss you! Even Ace keeps pestering him about you! He says he has a “cool card trick” to show you and Deuce– he can’t just do his trick with only Deuce as the audience (it’ll be boring), he wants you to watch it, too! Cater and Trey are also somewhat vocal about it, albeit not as troublesome about it. They all miss you!

Riddle doesn’t openly voice his longing for your times together until he confronts you, but even then, he doesn’t say much after that– but actually, he’s the one that misses you most– he’s just respectful enough to not trouble you about it. He misses the way you’d make his heart flutter with a simple laugh, even awes at how diligent you were but the fact that you didn’t flaunt it only made his crush for you develop further.

He hopes that after his confrontation with you, you’ll be able to manage your relationships in a more timely manner and equally balance your minutes of hours together with the people in NRC, and your friend in RSA; but don’t forget to include him in the list, alright? He’s waiting for you at the rose trees with paint buckets for you to use, to paint with him like you promised you would that afternoon.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul just more so views it as a business opportunity. New people mean new customers!

He doesn’t fret over your frequent visits to the RSA, really. Though sometimes he’ll comment on how you should try and visit the Mostro Lounge more often.

He may even accompany you to RSA to gain new customers– but it’s also because he wants to try and spend more time with you and he doesn’t mind admitting it.

His hands are always so full of managing the Mostro Lounge, assisting troubled clients, keeping the twins in line, and many other things. He’s a busy man. At least now he can spend more time with you while bringing in possible new customers! He considers it to be beneficial to him in both ways.

When your friend comes into the scene and you happily greet him. Azul would politely introduce himself to this new friend of yours while quietly muttering all the delicious drinks he serves in the Mostro Lounge and promising deals he proposes to his clients. Your friend could be one of those lucky clients if he simply asked! He says, giving him a deceiving kind smile.

Of course, he doesn’t come with only the reason that he’d try to gain new customers whilst spending time with you. During the entire visit, he’ll always at least have a hand on your shoulder or back but plays it off casually. Keep in mind that he’s interested in you and is trying to pursue you romantically so he’s not going to let anyone else try to come close to you so easily.

Oh, and if they do? Azul will casually play off proposing one of his deals to them. With his charismatic personality, it’s a simple breeze for him to lure the poor student into accepting one of his deals and he knows that none of the other NRC students would try to warn them of it. May Mother Mary bless their sou

Overall, Azul is just as accepting as Riddle is about your friend and your visits. He’s not one to get jealous very easily, and since he can accompany you whenever he isn’t as busy with his endeavors. He doesn’t seem to worry about anyone else trying to pursue you either since he isn’t the jealous type.

It’s only when he’s able to see someone chase after your heart that he begins to spring into action– and that never ends well for the person in question.

#azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland requests #well of the lotus flowers

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evilwickedme · 3 years

Text

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

#leverage #leverage meta #leverage redemption #leverage ot3 #parker leverage #alec hardison #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #breanna casey #harry wilson #mine

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sideblogformindtrash · 3 years

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Unmmm.. ... could we see sunshine being interrogated by either a whumper cop or caretaker cop?? Dealers choice??? 👀🥺🥺🥺

Sunshine -q

I hope all the years watching Criminal Minds and law and order pay off.

CW: Interrogation scene; cop whumper(quite mild tbh he just a jackass); death mention; police custody; anxiety; dehumanization; thirsty/starvation; psychological pressure; past abuse mention; conditioning; cage; fear of punishment; pet whump;

…The room is cold. His heavy collar is attached to a metal table. He has been left here for a while. They left a bottle of water on the table, and his throat is dry… But he can’t have it. It’s there, tempting him, but he wasn’t given permission.

Honestly, he is glad to be alone. All those people, the noise… He was yanked outside of his home, stuffed into a car and driven here. And the worst part is, he doesn’t know if he will be allowed to go home.

He doesn’t know if he has a home anymore.

He scrubbed those tiles until his hands couldn’t anymore… And it wasn’t enough. It was still dirty and red…

And Miss Abby didn’t wake up.

She would never wake up.

…He cleaned a tear. He wasn’t allowed to cry.

The heavy door opened, a man in uniform entered, carrying some files. He pulled the chair, the loud screeching sound made him flinch. He kept his eyes down.

“Sunflower, it that correct?” The cop says, not really looking at him.

“Yes, Sir” he licks his lips, hoping they get a little less dry. He hoped he would be allowed some water soon.

“Alright then, Sunflower. Let’s recall the events of that night” the man leans against the chair, tapping the back of a pen against the clipboard “Tell me everything you can remember”

…He opens his mouth, closes it, shakes his head.

“P-please don’t… Sir… Please… I’ll be good… I… I can’t, can’t…”

“You have to” Angry, demanding voice. Sunflower whimpers, recoiling “It’s on your own best interest to collaborate with our investigation, Pet.”

“Sir…”

“Speak. What happened?”

He bites back the sobs. He eyes at the water… It would help him swallow the tears, but the cop ignores his looks. He doesn’t have the courage to plea with words.

“…I… I was… at my cage”

“Sleeping?”

“No!” He shakes his head desperately “Not allowed. I was good, I swear. I didn’t sleep”

…The cop raises an eyebrow and writes it down.

“So you were awake all along?”

“Yes! I was good. Please”

“…Right. Keep going”

“Hm… There were noises”

“What noises, Sunflower?” the man sighed, seeming annoyed.

“Things falling and breaking… And… Mr Abby screamed…”

The cop notes that down.

“Didn’t you think of checking?”

He hugs himself, pressing further against the chair. He doesn’t even like sitting on one but they ordered him to.

“I can only leave my cage if, if Miss Abby allow…”

“But you left anyway”

He flinches. He did, he left, he was bad and disobeyed.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry, I was just scared, I can’t, I-“

“Shut up” The man snaps. He isn’t allowed to cry, but a tear falls anyway “Why took you so long to leave the cage? And why you did?”

Sunflower doesn’t answer. He looks down at his hands, bandaged now. Some woman wrapped them for him, and gave him water. He wants water now. It’s there, right there, but he wasn’t allowed…

“I made you a question”

“S-s-sorry” he whimpered, snapping back “Sorry”

“…Alright. Why didn’t you leave the cage when you heard noises?”

“Not… Not allowed” he repeated.

“But the situation was unusual, wasn’t it?” the cop pressured “Didn’t you think you might need to check? Tell me what were you thinking”

“…I… I thought it could be a test, Sir”

“A test?”

He nodded. The man kept scribbling, then leaned forward. Too close.

“She… Sometimes did things to see… If I would obey and… And I thought… She was testing me”

“Then why did you leave the cage later?”

“…T-the door”

“What does that mean?”

… Angry. The man was angry, towering over him. He whimpered. Was he going to be punished now, because he left the cage? He was bad, he knew. But…

“…B-b-back door It, it creaks a little” he whimpered “And… all was quiet after that…”

“Just the back door? That’s all you heard?” The cop exhaled, even more annoyed than before “Come on. Use you pretty head Pet. You aren’t giving me a lot to work with”

…He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to recall that. Bad night. A tear fell down over his hands. He was being bad, even now.

“…Ah… The neighbors… They… Their car… and dog… Dog barking”

…The man leaned back on the chair. Sunflower was glad, he didn’t like the cop to be close.

“Alright. Then, you decided to check, correct?”

“Yes… It… Was too quiet” he whimpered “And Miss… Miss didn’t close the door. Didn’t went upstairs… She was sleeping on the floor”

“…But she wasn’t sleeping now, was she, Pet?”

“Sleeping… But wouldn’t wake up”

“Dying. She was dying pet. Didn’t you think of helping her?”

“Blood” he whimpered. He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, and started to sob.

“What is it, Pet?”

“S-s-she… Was, was red... –b-blood” he whimpered again “W-wouldn’t wake up… W-w-wouldn’t…”

‘You didn’t call anyone Sunflower? DIdn’t try and ask for help?”

“C-c-can’t… Not allowed…”

“It was obvious your Mistress needed it, Sunflower. You failed her”

“N-n-no…. I… Not allowed to… To call… Or… Didn’t… Didn’t know how…”

“Was she mean to you, Sunflower? You have quite a collection of bruises”

The pet raises his eyes slowly, trembling. The man is smiling now, maliciously.

“She… She was my Master, my owner. I, I j-just wanted to see her happy”

“Happy? Yet you didn’t try to help her when she needed you?”

“S-s-sorry” his voice was just a low squeak at this point. It was… It was his fault? He should’ve done something. He should! But… But he wasn’t allowed. He was at the cage, and Mistress would’ve been so mad…

“Did you want her to die, maybe?” He didn’t! He would never want for that. He just, just didn’t want to get hurt, to be a bad pet and disobey, he just wanted to be good! He couldn’t speak, the sobs chocking his words… “Is that why you didn’t call for help? Because you were actually glad she was gone, Pet? Because you wanted her to-“

“Enough!”

Both turn. Another person entering the room, dressed in suit and tie, carrying even more folders and paper. They pull the other chair, and Sunflower flinches again.

“I’m Dr. Smith, I’m here representing the Pet- Excuse me, Sunflower’s case” the person smiles at him, way more sympathetic than the cop. Sunflower doesn’t like people… Not at all. But this time, he is glad he is no longer alone “Sunflower, you don’t have to answer anything without talking to me first. I’ll handle the questioning, alright?”

He quietly nodded. Does… does that mean he doesn’t need to speak anymore?

“It appears you’ve been trying to coerce information out of my client” they speak directly to the cop, who folds their arms sighs.

“I want just politely asking your client why he didn’t call for help”

…Sunflower opens his mouth to answer again, but the attorney silences him with a gesture.

“Simply because he is a Pet. They aren’t trained to deal with situations like that. In fact, if anything, they are trained to ignore the common sense” Dr. Smith smiles, looking at him “Sunflower, dear, you are allowed to have that water”

“T-t-thank you” he whimpers, relieved washing over him. He takes the bottle, nervously.

“…Yes, you may drink it from the bottle. Is alright”

The cop raises an eyebrow. Sunflower doesn’t even care, he is just glad he can drink – push back the tears a little, and soothe his dry throat.

“See?” The attorney says “It’s obvious you aren’t prepared to handle Pets”

…The cop scribbles that too. Sunflower holds onto the bottle, nearly empty now. He doesn’t want to put it back on the table, doesn’t want it taken away again. He chews on the lid, nervously, the tension between the two other people growing.

“Right” the cop sighed “You client was found cleaning the crime scene. Any evidence we could have gathered from there is now contaminated”

“My client has little understanding of how investigations go. He was cleaning because” the attorney fumbled through the files “…It seems here Miss Abby has a history of compulsive behavior, mostly regarding cleaning. She has even talked about it in some of her own videos. It’s not a surprise her Pet was trained to clean. If anyone is to blame for this, is the training company responsible for his conditioning, which did not gave him adequate tools to navigate a situation like this”

The cop rolled his eyes.

“…Do you know how long it was before someone else found you, Sunflower?”

He shot a nervous glance at the attorney.

“You can answer this one, if you know”

“…An… Was… Was morning. The neighbor dog wouldn’t stop barking… Not since… night”

“Right. That’s what the neighbors told us. They came to check why the dog wouldn’t calm down and found the back door to Abby’s house was open” The cop sighed “…You didn’t see the person at all, that’s right?”

…Sunflower just nodded.

The cop got up, the chair noise making him flinch yet again.

“…Dismissed. For now.”

The cop left leaving him alone with the attorney. They had a sympathetic smile.

“…Don’t worry, I’m sure you are a good boy Sunflower”

“…Good?” he asked, incredulous “M-miss Abby… What… what happens now?”

“…First, we need to handle the criminal case. You’ll have to collaborate with me, but if you are a good pet and help me understand what happened, I’ll handle the rest” the person had a kind smile. He wasn’t sure he believed it “You are in custody of the estate for now”

“And… after…?”

“It depends a lot of how things play out. But I’m sure it will go well. We will find you a nice, kind new owner afterwards” Dr. Smith gently tapped at his shoulder “Now… I need you to tell me what went on. Don’t worry, you are not in trouble, I just need to know”

“N-not a-a-again… Please…” He whimpered… A head pat. Soft. He peeked up.

“I know it’s stressful, Sun. But you are a good boy, aren’t you?” he nodded. He wanted to be a good boy, at least “…You can take your time too, okay? Just try and tell me everything”

…He took a deep breath, wanting to cry. He would have to go through it all… Again. He just wanted to go home. But he didn’t have a home anymore.

…The attorney put something on the table. A cereal bar.

“Go ahead, you can have it. I know it’s stressful” they smiled “But I’m here to help. So let’s work together, okay?”

…He nodded. He picked up the thing, slowly chewing. It was good but… He wasn’t really hungry. He felt nauseous still, the imagery of the night playing over and over on his head.

#sunflower doesn't need a tag #whump #pet whump

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hlcreators · 4 years

Photo

AUTHOR REC: jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

Be sure to show some love by leaving kudos and comments!

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Strong Enough (20k)

“So…” Liam starts, and Louis instantly knows where this is going. He’s actually glad it’s Liam that's dragging the subject out from the shadows and into the light. Louis turns to face him, mirroring his position on the couch and nods, ready for him to continue. Liam takes a deep breath. “Have you spoken to Harry recently?”

Five years after Vertigo goes on hiatus, the band comes back together for a benefit concert. Can Louis and Harry work through their complicated past, or are some wounds too deep to be healed?

Shine (13k)

“How does it feel?” Harry asks, genuine curiosity evident in his voice.

Louis lets his eyes drift closed and focuses on the sensations. “It’s like… like I’ve got hands all over me, touching me, inside and out, and…” Louis tries to zone in but it’s so hard to describe. “It’s like I’m being stimulated everywhere all at once.” As if on cue, his nipples and earlobes start tingling and he arches his back. “Oh fuck, yeah.”

OR the one where Louis has a thing for the sun and Harry is more than happy to indulge his sunshine boy.

If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) (55k)

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

OR the story of how one man’s love changed the world.

Everything I Do (16k)

Harry’s ready, has been for a while now, and he’s fairly certain Louis is too, it just hasn’t been on the top of their priority list. There have been offhand mentions, a comment here and there, more in jest than anything, no serious discussion or consideration. Harry stands up straighter, a stomach-churning thought forming in his mind. Has Louis been waiting for him to ask?

OR the one where Harry finds a book of Elizabethan courtship rituals which sets in motion a series of events that can lead to only one conclusion.

Playing To Win (36k)

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

OR the one where Louis really doesn’t want to like Harry, Harry is struggling to quell his growing fondness for Louis, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t fight fate.

Exposed (666)

Louis should really stop agreeing to do favours for his friends while drunk, especially when they result in him becoming a live-art model…

Forever And Always (25k)

“Right,” Harry says and slaps his hands down on the kitchen benchtop. Now he just has to get home, find this poor Niall guy who is currently camped out in his body, and have them swapped back. What could possibly go wrong?

OR the one where Harry’s neighbour is a crotchety old witch who hates vampires, Niall is the unsuspecting human who ends up inhabiting Harry’s body, and Louis is the caseworker who is assigned to swap them back. How it ends up a love story is anyone’s guess.

Going My Way (20k)

"Hey Harry. Really sorry to do this to you but an emergency has come up with Vera’s mum and we’ve had to jump a flight home. My mate Louis is going to take over my LYFT clients while I’m away. He’s got my car and my phone and everything else. Hope that’s okay. He’s a good guy and I think you two are going to get along brilliantly. Catch you soon, Benny."

OR the one where Harry gets a replacement LYFT driver, Louis is just trying to earn some extra cash before the baby arrives, and they both end up with way more than they bargained for.

Up For It (18k)

Each year, the five friends take a lads holiday; it’s tradition, and this year is shaping up to be a jam-packed, fun-filled trip with their best mates just like all the rest... or is it?

OR the one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

With Words Unspoken (18k)

At forty-nine, Louis hadn’t envisioned being at a crossroads in his life; kids, grandkids, an ex-wife, and completely at a loss as to what direction his future will take. When he finds himself drawn back to a cabin in the Californian wilderness that’d he’d visited fifteen years earlier, an acquaintance from his past triggers an awakening deep inside and reveals a new path that he could never have imagined.

OR The one where Louis is lost, Harry is an excellent tour guide, and age is no barrier to finding the love of your life.

Henry and Lewis (4.3k)

PART 1 SUMMARY: Louis hangs out in his local coffee shop to work on his weekly WordPlay Prompt, speaks to his beloved muse aka Harry the gorgeous barista, embarrasses himself in front of said muse, and receives a comment on AO3 from his favourite reader.

SERIES SUMMARY: Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Smuturdary (4.1k)

Louis struggles with this week's WordPlay prompt before finding inspiration, and a date, in an unexpected place, and could there be more going on with his favourite reader than he originally thought.

Tea For Two (4k)

Louis grapples with what to do about his new found suspicions over his favourite readers real-life identity.

Life Imitating Art (6.8k)

Louis is taken on a very real journey through his fic back catalogue - life has never imitated art so salaciously.

Entertain Me (5.3k)

All good things must come to an end, including the WordPlay challenge. But while Louis has mixed emotions about its end, and struggling to make sense of the final prompt, he is relishing every aspect of his newly revitalised personal life.

Play Me A Memory (26k)

Louis lives with his nine-year-old son Jake in a peaceful beachside community on the east coast of Australia, working as an entertainment coordinator at the local five-star resort. Harry is a recluse who lives on millionaires row and writes musical scores for blockbuster movies. When the roots of a wayward willow tree create havoc at his home, Harry is forced to stay at the resort while repairs are carried out.

Cue matchmaking storms, muffin preferences, laughter, love, and a whole lotta music.

The Cyber Sphere (17k)

As the author of The Cyber Sphere, a series of best-selling books which have spawned seemingly limitless spin-offs, Louis Tomlinson hides away from the world in his fortress-like London penthouse. But when he decides to interact with the host of The Cyber Times radio program, Dermot O’Leary, on Twitter, it causes a fandom meltdown and offers him hope for a future he’d never imagined.

OR the one where Liam likes to think he’s Batman, Dermot has terrible taste in sporting teams, and Louis should really get a cat.

Surprise Me, Space Boy (7.1k)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Harry Poppins (32k)

When Louis’ best friends pass away he finds himself with an instant family. Maddie and Thomas are wonderful children but take an immediate dislike to every nanny that sets foot inside their house. After nanny number six is summarily dismissed Louis is at his wit’s end, that is until an unusual man arrives on their doorstep. Harry Styles is like nothing any of them have ever encountered before, and perhaps, exactly what they’ve been looking for all along.

My One And Only (Desire) (500)

Harry is his, only his, and Louis belongs to Harry just as completely. They consume each other, in life, in love, in every way two people can.

Take Me Down Slow (Don’t Let Me Go) (26k)

Louis has always felt different. Not necessarily on the outer realm of societal norms, but pretty damn close to the edge. As an Omega, he’s supposed to want certain things; to want to raise a family, to want to build a life with a partner, and to want that partner to be an Alpha.

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

OR the one where Louis wants to find the right kind of partner to love, Niall hates snowboarding, Liam wants to settle down, Harry is really good with his hands, and mother nature could be the thing that changes everything.

Soup Of The Day (19k)

It had been the single minded goal for them since college and seemed simple enough. 1. Study hard. 2. Open their dream restaurant. 3. Take the culinary world by storm.

What could possibly go wrong?

Or the Restaurant AU where Louis and Niall are chefs, Chicago is windy, and cracking the big time is harder than they ever imagined. But when a mysterious man starts grading Louis' soups by leaving little piles of rocks, could it be just the thing they need to get them on the road to success?

The Clock Strikes New Year (9.6k)

Louis senses people moving around behind him and cranes his neck left to right. The store is quiet, just staff and Louis and Harry, but all of the other salespeople appear to have gravitated to where they are to watch the little runway show Harry is putting on. He can’t blame them really, Harry is a sight to behold, but it makes him chuckle anyway.

“Okay, Lou, you ready for me?” Harry calls from the change room.

“As I’ll ever be, baby. Get out here!”

Harry comes into view and Louis’ breath catches in his throat.

OR Harry was homeless, but now he has Louis. Louis was lonely, but now he has Harry. And there’s more than one way to see fireworks on New Year’s Eve.

The Bet (2.4k)

Louis Tomlinson never reneges on a bet. Ever.

He may be many things - a joker, a sometimes-wayward student, a loyal friend, a Tony Award winner in the making, and a card-carrying member of the Chad Michael Murray fan club - but never, ever, a welcher. Louis makes good on his promises and does it with flare.

OR The one where Louis misjudges Harry's ability to do TLC's Waterfall rap and finds himself having to put on a one-man show for his viewing pleasure. If Louis decides to go all-in and dress the part, then that's just a bonus for his (very appreciative) one-man audience.

Heat (2.4k)

Louis was smitten from the moment Harry had arrived a month ago. Long, curly hair which he mostly keeps up in a bun, and a sinfully deep voice. Cheeky too. Louis likes that the best. He gives good banter and laughs at Louis’ dumb jokes, adding his own woeful puns. When Louis had asked him why he was in this godforsaken dust bowl, he’d said something about a ground crew traineeship and fulfilling his visa requirements while experiencing the real Australia. Louis had been momentarily distracted by Harry’s plush, red-bitten lips so the salient details may have washed over him.

OR Drinking beer in a blow-up pool, in a backyard, in stupidly hot temperatures, in outback Australia should be ridiculous, and it would be, if Louis didn't have a curly-haired workmate to keep him company.

Whisper The Wind (36k)

Louis’ father has political ambitions and decides it’s time for Louis to step up as the company’s Chief Financial Officer. Louis thinks this is a monumentally stupid idea. After storming off in a rage he has a chance meeting with a tall, dark, curly haired stranger. A technical glitch with their shared elevator finds Louis spending twenty minutes with the most intriguing man he’s ever met. Unfortunately the man is leaving London the very next day and moving to Australia to work at his mates surf school. Timing, as they say, can fuck right off.

Fast forward three years and Louis is miserable, a shadow of the man he once was, working in his father’s company, and hating every moment. At his thirtieth birthday party, surrounded by people he doesn’t know or doesn’t like, he decides to throw it all in and follow the impossible dream. Happiness, a fulfilling life, and someone to love. The question is, will that dream be found ten thousand miles away on a sandy beach, with a curly headed surfer dude?

Or the one where Louis rides an elevator that may change his life forever, Harry loves the ocean but is a terrible surfer, Liam proves not all heroes wear capes, and Niall might actually have all the answers.

The Clock Strikes Christmas (10k)

The clock ticks over to midnight and Niall strikes the match, lighting the candle and looking expectantly at Louis. “Time to make all your dreams come true. What’s your birthday wish Tommo?”

Louis stares into the flame and wonders. Closing his eyes, he thinks of cold winter nights curled up by the fire, driving along country roads holding hands across the console, laughter and warmth and a sense of belonging. An image creeps into his mind, blurry and shimmering. Curls, green eyes, milky white skin. Louis sucks in a deep breath, opens his eyes and blows.

The lights in the pub go out and the music stops, time seems to be teetering on the edge of something, like the crest of a roller coaster before the fall.

Then the pub surges back to life. “Sorry about that folks! Damn storm must be coming.” The bartender shouts out.

Niall is staring at him, mouth agape, before regaining his composure. “Must’ve been a helluva wish Tommo.”

Louis is a little stunned himself, but blinks out of it and laughs. “Yeah, must’ve been.”

OR the one where Louis needs someone to love, Harry needs a miracle, and sometimes, wishes really do come true

The Prince Of Light (35k)

Louis was found abandoned at a hospital at six months old and adopted by an older couple who raised him. Now twenty, he studies by night and by day works as a live-in au pair for a family with three little girls. One of the girls, Holly, swears there is a Garden Fairy coming and eating treats she leaves out in the cubby house each night.

When the family goes away for a two week holiday, Louis is secretly tasked with feeding the Fairy. While laying out the food one night he falls from the cubby house and is found by Harry. Harry is different and Louis is fascinated. But as Louis learns how different Harry really is, he discovers his own true home and a very surprising past he never knew.

Cue badgers, bananas and cookies, soulmates, a whole other world, and a future he’d never imagined.

Clouds On Curtis (9.6k)

A wave of comfort sweeps over Louis like a blanket as he allows himself a moment to imagine the possibilities. His past failures and disappointments feel like they are ebbing away, like shackles falling from his limbs. The burdens he's been bearing and the guilt he’s been carrying slipping away into the ground with each step he takes.

Harry reaches for the door and pauses, holding the handle he turns to face Louis.

“Are you ready for the adventure to begin?” Harry looks at him with hope in his eyes, dimple cratering in his left cheek.

“Absolutely, I’m all yours.” Louis says, wide smile breaking across his face, feeling the crinkles appear at the corners of his eyes.

In that moment he is sure of it. Surer than he's been about anything for years. This is exactly where he’s supposed to be. This is his second chance.

Or the one where Louis is a chef who is looking for a chance to start over, Harry’s restaurant needs the right chef to make his dream come to life, Niall is a cook who desperately wants to be a chef, and Liam just wants to be happy. Together, can they turn their dreams into reality?

#writer appreciation week #1dsource #hljournal #fics #author rec

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scandalousfemale · 4 years

Text

Fall to Pieces

Rafe Cameron x Y/N

An unexpected and unnecessary part 2 to Lists, though it can be read as a stand-alone.

Y/N helps Rafe get sober after he told her what he had done. She’s conflicted because now she’s getting glimpses of a better Rafe but she can’t forget or forgive him so he makes it right the only way that he knows how.

WC: 5,308

Warning: smut, mentions of shooting the sheriff (but he did not shoot the deputy), mentions of jail, mentions of drugs and withdrawals, mentions of funerals (they think Sarah and John B are dead), spoilers, unprotected sex, mention of birth control, mentions of anger, mentions of parental unit dying/going to jail, mentions of PTSD, mentions of nightmares, y/n pulls a knife out on Barry and regrets it immediately, mentions of drugs

A/N: Hello! Thank you for taking the time to even look at this fic, I worked really long and hard on it and I had a great time writing it. It was my first time ever writing smut so if it sucks, I’m so sorry. I’m also running on no sleep because I’ve been editing this all night. That being said, I tried my best to proofread, I’m sure that there are tons of mistakes anyway. Again, thank you for reading my fic! I ended it the only way that felt right to me. Oh, and it’s inspired by Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne

It’s been 7 months since Rafe showed up at your door and ripped your heart out of your now gaping chest. 6 months and three weeks since his family held a funeral for his sister in which he couldn’t attend because he was going through withdrawals. 6 months since his friends and family started asking you about his whereabouts. You’ve lied to everyone you knew back on the Outer Banks, telling them that you haven’t seen him since that summer.

You’ve convinced yourself that you were okay with taking care of him even if you weren’t together but for the first three weeks while he was at his worse, every time you had to touch him, you wanted to throw up (most times you did). You just can’t help but picture him killing Peterkin, sometimes you have dreams where you see it happen and you didn’t do anything to stop it, then you’d wake up next to him and have to move to the sofa just from the disgust. Though you’re not exactly sure what really happened that day, and he wouldn’t tell you, your overactive imagination filled in the blanks for you every night for those first few weeks.

The fifth week was better, in the sense that your disgust was slowly being taken over by hate. You hated that he had put you in this situation. You hated that you allowed yourself to care enough to take care of him. You hated that you love him but most of all, you hate his father for screwing up his children so much that one would rather die than go back to him and the other couldn’t stay sober long enough to know right from wrong.

You were also able to convince your parents to help you co-sign and move into a house near the school instead of staying in the dorms. You said that it’s because of all the teens partying around you and that you couldn’t concentrate on studying but really, it’s because of the noise complaints that you’ve been getting. It’s been hell studying for finals while sleeping next to someone going through cold shakes or nightmares. You’ve told yourself multiple times that Rafe was going through withdraws while also suffering from PTSD but it didn’t make you feel any better when you started missing classes or came home to your living room completely destroyed because he had a rage fit due to the cravings. You’ve offered to send him to rehab but he wanted no trace of where he could be so you complied.

A month after getting everything straightened out, you were finally moving out. You were happy that you could go further into the city where Rafe could go out more, spend more time around other people than surround himself with his mistakes, and four walls. Though the process wore on him, you could tell that he was becoming a better person. He was more patient and understanding. It would be a lie to say that his fuse wasn’t still just as bad when someone would trigger it but it seems you’ve been doing a lot of that anyway—lying.

Seven months into living together and him finally being sober, you want to say that he reminds you of the old Rafe but he doesn’t. He’s much more mature, his sad eyes tell a story that he’s seen way too much, too soon. Some days, you wish that you could take his pain away. Other days, you wish that he’d drown in it…at least you wish you thought that.

Renting a U-Haul, and maybe to fill your own fantasy of moving in together like a normal couple in college, you had Rafe help you pack. Was it a good idea? Probably not. Most of the time you ended up yelling at him for packing the bedroom things with the living room items. When you saw him put the dishes in with the DVDs, you had banished him to the house for the rest of the day, telling him that you’d pack the kitchen away by yourself. You were happy that you’d actually done that though because it gave you the excuse to give the two of you some space. You had found yourself getting close to him again. Leaning in when you laughed, touching his arm to show him something on your phone or when you window shop. You didn’t want to give him mixed signals but how could you not when you’re confused yourself?

So, you left Rafe unpacking all the boxes of clothes and moving around the furniture while you came back and tackled the kitchen. You almost wished that you had asked him to come along just for his company but after waking up in his arms last night, groggy from being tired, you figured that it was best to put some distance between the two of you.

A soft knocking sounded from your door and the smile that appeared on your face should’ve been criminal. You were almost too happy to see him. You couldn’t—wouldn’t let yourself forget what he did, though it was hard to remember when you’ve never seen Rafe in that state. Pushing your thoughts aside for the millionth time, you yanked the door open, your smile immediately dropping. You tried to shut the door as quickly as you opened it but a hand lands in the middle of the door and pushes it open the rest of the way.

“Now, that’s no way to greet an old friend,” Barry said, as condescending as ever.

“You’ve lost that title the minute you started selling drugs,” you narrowed your eyes at him.

He was right. Barry and you go way back, back before you were considered a “kook”, before you even knew what it meant to be a part of figure 8. Well, technically your moms go way back. You two were destined to be friends since you’ve come out of the womb. You shared secrets, scars, heartbreaks, skinned knees, all the same. You held him when his mom died and invited him over to your place every single day, unknowingly introducing him to his future clients. Your mom loved him like a child and if you ate, he ate. Until, of course, you started dating Rafe at fifteen and Barry started finding new friends. About a year later, the friendship was over. One night you walked in on him selling drugs to Rafe. You told them both that you wanted nothing to do with either of them if Barry kept selling and Rafe kept distributing but neither of them listened. Barry continued selling but stopped coming around, breaking your mother’s heart. As for Rafe, well, we know that story.

“Yes, of course. Big, bad, naughty, Barry,” he rolled his eyes and though his words had a hint of humor, his eyes did not. He shoved past you and made his way inside your apartment.

“What do you want?” You said in a clipped tone, eyeing his figure to see if he has any visible weapons on him or not because last time he showed up at your apartment, he was not so kind.

“Rafe,” Barry said matter of factly with a bright smile. As if he wasn’t talking about someone who supposedly dropped off the face of the earth seven months ago.

You stared at him and shrugged, “your guess is as good as mine.”

“Y/n, I’m not going to ask you twice and I don’t exactly do well to being lied to, where is Rafe?” He leaned against the refrigerator with his arms crossed in front of his chest, eyeing you.

“I haven’t seen him,” you lied through gritted teeth. You backed yourself into your kitchen, feeling comfort that there was an exit behind you while Barry was in your line of sight.

“Baby, if you only knew what he’s done, you wouldn’t be protecting him right now,” Barry chuckled as he took a step towards you, “he owes me a debt and I’ve given him long enough. Now, I’m here to collect. Listen, it’s either me or the SBI, it’s your choi-,” he didn’t have the time to finish before you found your hand wrapped around your kitchen knife bringing the blade down on the sink beside you.

You tried to speak between breaths, “Stop it! Stop!”

Barry’s irritating smile has finally dropped from his face. His hands out in front of him as if he was prepared for you to lose it and charge at him...and maybe you might. At this point, you’re not really sure what you planned to do. You just needed to protect Rafe.

“He’s mine,” you breathe out a declaration you haven’t let left your lips since the night of Rafe’s confession, “you don’t get to take him, the SBI doesn’t get to take him, fucking death doesn’t get to take him from me without my permission. Now, get the fuck out of my apartment right now because I do not know where he is and if I did, I would never tell you,” you said with an eerie calm washing over you. You keep taking steps toward Barry who hasn’t moved back once.

“Come at me, baby, I have nothing to lose,” Barry said with his arms at his side, faking vulnerability while his shifty eyes were telling another story.

“Yes, you do,” you assured him, “We both do, but the difference between us is that I’m willing to lose it all. Are you?”

“You think I’m going to just forget what his little sister did? She stole from me. Now I have leverage over my best seller— my best thief, and you want me to let that slide because a chick with a knife who can’t even keep it steady enough to point at me wants to threaten me? I’ll come back every single day if I have to.”

“His little sister is dead, haven’t you heard? Her and John B got washed away in the storm and you still have the nerve to talk about her? You can come back every day if you want to. I’ll give you the keys to the place. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t live here anymore.” You gestured toward the empty living room and the boxes beside the two of you.

For the first time, Barry let his guard down long enough to take a look around the apartment.

“I left him,” you continued your half-lie. You did leave Rafe, at your new house, “when I found out what happened, I left him and I couldn’t handle being on campus where I knew he could find me,” where you knew anyone else could find him, “so I’m leaving.” You shrugged, feigning indifference. Setting the knife down on the sink as if that wasn’t the most insane thing that you’ve ever done. You dug into your purse. “Here’s something for your troubles, yeah?” Your mother always told you to have cash on you and finally, it has come in handy, you pulled around about three grand, almost 1/3 of what you got for selling your car.

“Take it,” you shoved the money against his chest. With no hesitation Barry’s clammy hands landed on yours, pressing both your hand and the money against his chest. The contact instantly brought you back from your previous panic. You couldn’t even believe that you had pulled a knife out on him, what were you even going to do with it? It’s not like you were…it’s not like you were Rafe. At the realization, you met Barry’s eyes with so much sadness, “this is the last thing I’m going to do for you, Barry. For your mom, I hope you can get a real job one day,” you said sincerely.

“Always had a thing for the bad boys, huh, y/n?” Barry said, the joking tone in his voice disappearing as he took the money from underneath your palm, letting your hand fall.

“Just the lost ones,” you admitted, “goodbye, Barry.”

He pocketed the cash, giving you one last look before turning around and leaving you to the boxes.

The house was surprisingly mostly unpacked, except for the two new boxes that you had brought back with you, though in your defense, you didn’t have a lot of things to begin with. After a long-needed shower—more so on Rafe’s part since you left him to do the grunt work all day, you had fixed up dinner for the both of you.

Something had shifted inside of you since the talk with Barry. You could no longer ignore your feelings now that they’re right in your face but you’re still so conflicted. You love Rafe. You love him so much and he’s sober and trying for the first time. You’re seeing him in a new light but today, after picking up that knife, you can’t get over the horrible things that he’s done and it’s tearing you apart inside.

From the archway of the kitchen, you can’t help but look at the boy on your sofa. He’s probably watching some dumb show, his long legs stretched out in front of him while he’s nursing a bottle of water, the sadness in his eyes looking more and more permanent. Your fists clenched up beside you as tears threaten to fall as you made your way in front of him. You can’t count the number of times you’ve seen him like this, the number of times you’ve fantasized about him like this but with your children crawling all over him as you’d laugh and sip a cup of coffee. Now that’s really all it’ll be, a fantasy.

Rafe had set the bottle on the coffee table in front of him as if sensing a confrontation coming on and it fueled your anger even more. You hated that he knew you so well and that you two were so well connected that you could both feel the shift of the energy between the two of you without saying one word. You finally made it in front of him, your knees touching, you couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

He waited, looking back at you as your tears fell from your face and his hands twitched like he wanted to reach out towards you but thought better of it.

“I hate you,” you said pathetically as your shoulders slumped. You angrily wiped away your tears as you shook your head at him. The boy who once was your dream. Rafe didn’t even flinch at your words, he knew it already. He hoped that you’d change your mind about him but he knew from the very first night that things would never be the same.

Without saying a word, Rafe reached for your fists, kissing your knuckles knowing that you’d never use them against him. As if apologizing for even causing you to form them.

“I hate you so much and I can’t forgive you for what you did; I’ve tried,” you said through your tears, “but I also love you so much,” you whispered your confession. His head snapping up at you, searching for your lies and finding none.

Before you could even think, one of his arms snakes around your waist, pulling you down to straddle him as the other came up to your face, forcing you to now look up at him.

“You still love me?” Rafe finally spoke, brushing away a few of your tears with the pad of his thumb.

“I’ve always loved you but you make me hate you,” you said as you leaned your face against his palm, missing the feeling of intimacy with him.

It was almost like something had changed within him, as if he was arguing with himself and finally made up his mind when he leaned in closer to your face, his lips brushing against yours, “Don’t. Tonight just, just love me, okay?”

How could you say no to that? You nodded and it takes him all but a second for his lips to touch yours, knowing that the minute you gave him an inch, he’d take a mile.

The kiss was electric. It was something that you had no idea you were even craving until his were on yours and you couldn’t get enough. Your tongue swiped at his lower lip, taking it in between your teeth and giving him a soft bite, using his gasp as an invitation for your tongue to enter his mouth. Rafe didn’t deny you as his hands worked his way to your hips that’s been subconsciously rocking against his. You worked your hands up his shirt, lingering on his abs, feeling them expand and contract with every breath he takes before removing your lips from his just to pull off his shirt.

Heavenly. It was the only word that came to your mind when you looked at his body. Rafe didn’t give you much time to marvel at the sculpted figure that is his body before pulling your face towards his again, “fuck, y/n,” Rafe breathe and it sent a shiver down your spine. You can already feel the wetness pooling between your legs, knowing full well that the thin layer of your pajama pants is doing nothing but allowing him to feel it, too. Just like how you can feel him grow underneath you, making you whimper when you rock against him the right way. You made your way down his neck, kissing and biting him, marking him like you were teenagers again. Rafe growled at you when you bit a little bit too hard into his shoulder.

“Y/n, baby,” Rafe rasped, trying to get your attention but it was useless, “princess,” he said almost inaudible as you were about to rub out your own orgasm against him. Suddenly, his hand came down hard on your backside, and instead of yelping, you moaned for him to go harder which all but caused him to pull you away from him. Your arms suddenly empty and your chest heaving, you looked at Rafe’s plump lips and eyes that are dark with desire. He stood up and didn’t waste a moment, he allowed you to jump onto him, supporting your weight with his arms around you.

You quickly yanked off your top, allowing your breast to press up against him when you wrap your arms around his neck, “I need you,” you admitted against his neck. More than he knew. In more ways than he could give but for now, you could accept him like this. You felt your back slam against the wall as he fists your hair in his hands, forcing your head back so he could kiss your neck and leave some marks of his own. By the time he reached your bed, you needed your release. He had set you down on the bed, almost too gently. You reached for his pants but his fingers wrapped around your wrist, “I want to taste you first,” he said with what you thought was supposed to be a smile but he was already preoccupying himself with pulling off your shorts. You were almost sure that he moaned just by the sight of your spread legs as if he hadn’t already seen you like this a hundred times.

You laid back and spread your legs further, reaching for his head with his hand but instead he interlocked his fingers with yours saying, “don’t rush me, princess, I want to remember this.” It felt like an eternity before you felt his lips on your inner thigh, causing your body to shudder. Slowly, you felt his tongue delve into you, flicking your clit just right enough for you to buck your hips against him. He wrapped his lips around your clit as his tongue worked it just the way you liked until your nails are leaving marks on him as you scream, “Yes, Rafe, right there, please don’t stop!” Your words along with your moans, giving him the confidence that he still remembers how to make you cum; and you did. Hard. You could’ve sworn that you went cross-eyed for a moment as your thighs attempted to shut around his head. He brought his hands up to hold them back as he continued, bringing on another shaking orgasm.

“I need you in me, Rafe,” you said as this point, almost delirious but you needed the closeness. “I need you to fuck me like you just—like you hate me,” you said but you weren’t sure if you meant it. Granted, in your state, you’d take him any way that he’d come but you just thought back to all the times you’d slept with him in that last month before everything went to shit. When he was at his worst with drugs that most times, he couldn’t get it up, and when he could, it would be rough and fast.

Rafe crawled up your body, using his thumb to wipe his lower lip and then sucking it clean, causing your eyes to flutter. You pushed down his pants until they were around his knees and he kicked them all the way off himself but he didn’t pounce on you and started drilling you. He almost seemed…hesitant.

“I know you hate me but I don’t,” Rafe started, slowly as he began inserting himself into you, inch by inch, “I can’t fuck you like I used to right now. I can’t fuck you like I’m angry, I need to-,” he stopped himself with a moan as you clenched around him, “I just need you to fuck you like you love me okay?” He rasped, looking more vulnerable then you’ve ever seen him. You nodded, grabbing a hold of his hair as you wrapped your legs around him, you kissed him deeply before looking at him in his eyes, “I love you Rafe,” you breathe and that was all it took for him to lose his control.

After basically wrestling around in the sheets, you both came multiple times. Each time with whispers of promises of forever that you both knew was just something said in the heat of the moment. When you both felt spent, though not nearly having enough of each other, Rafe had gotten up to go to the bathroom and get a wet cloth to come and clean you up. You haven’t been this reckless since you two were sixteen and had a pregnancy scare, so you were thanking the heavens for your birth control right now.

Rafe had put the towel away in the bathroom again but didn’t bother to put on his clothes as he laid next to you in bed. You rested your head against his chest as his finger started trailing your spine.

“I saw Barry today,” you said suddenly.

“Yeah?” Rafe tensed, pulling you closer to him as if he could protect you, “What did he want?”

“Other than a trip down memory lane?” you offered, “you.”

Rafe didn’t say a word as he kissed the top of your head and you drifted off to sleep.

The sun was evil, you were sure of it. The blinding light had awakened you and all you tried to do was burrow deeper into the hard body next to you. Only except, the body wasn’t there. Blindly, you reached out beside you, almost in a panic when you couldn’t feel anything other than the cold sheets, indicating that it has been vacant for some time. You finally opened your eyes and sat up; your body deliciously sore but you couldn’t even enjoy that right now. You walked into the living room, naked as the day you born, only to see a small duffel bag by the door.

“Rafe?” You called out, only to have him appear from the kitchen with an orange juice in his hand. He took a look at you and his eyes lingered on your body, the marks that he left on you. The marks you left on his neck and chest, obvious as well, but you couldn’t concentrate on that, “I can’t believe you,” you spat out as you turned on your heel and made your way back into the bedroom.

You didn’t make it past the door frame before Rafe’s arm snaked around you and pressed your back to his front, his lips coming down to your ear, “stop,” he said, his tone was almost like an order but you knew it was a plea, “whatever it is that’s going on in that head of yours, stop it.”

You turned around in his arms, willing yourself not to cave when his face was inches from yours. Willing yourself not to cry when his bag is inches away from the door, “you’re leaving me,” you stated.

“I’m not leaving you,” Rafe corrected, “last night was just…amazing but it did remind me that being sober isn’t the only thing that I had to get done. I have loose ends, y/n. I have things that I need to make right. So, yes, I am leaving but do not think for a second that I’m leaving because of you. I’m alive because of you.”

“Nice speech,” you said bitterly, crossing your arms across your chest as you stepped out of his grasp, “you’re leaving right after we had sex. It’s still a douchebag move to make.”

“Y/n, I told you. I had a realization. Trust me, if I didn’t-,” he stopped himself, watching you as you pulled his shirt over your head, “if I didn’t have to go, I wouldn’t but I need to like, I don’t know. Clear my head or find myself or whatever the fuck it is. I need to go back to my dad and show my face. Fuck, I need to visit Sarah’s grave.”

“And you can’t do all of that with me? Here I am again, re-arraigning my whole life for you and Rafe Cameron can’t eve-,” he cut you off by lifting you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist. His kiss was hard and bruising.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rafe parroted the line he said seven months ago, only this time, he whispered it with a smile ghosting around his lips.

“I love you,” he said as he caressed your face with one hand, the other still holding you up, “I love you and you do not fully love me like before. I can see it in your eyes, princess. We laugh and we might’ve fucked yesterday but it does not change anything. You don’t trust me so I need to go and make things right, okay? You told me that I needed to love myself before you can be with me again, before you can love me again. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Okay?” he said as he set you down on your feet again.

You nodded, you understood. You weren’t dumb enough to think he’d stay here forever anyway, no matter how much you took care of him and he was right. There are still days where you can’t look at him and having sex last night might’ve made it clear where you both stood with each other but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you still hated him-you were just too drunk off sex to act on it.

“Yeah. Okay,” was all you could say. Though you gripped onto his hand like a child as he walked to the front door, picking his bag off the floor and effortlessly resting the strap on his shoulder. He turned to you and reached into his pocket, leaving a small gold chain necklace in the palm on your hand. A lame replacement for his own hand, you thought, but you willed yourself not to grab onto him again.

“Thank you. For literally everything. For changing your whole life for me. For stopping everything. No amount of thank you will ever be enough,” Rafe said sincerely and though it looks like he wants to, he doesn’t kiss you.

“Will I see you again?” You asked, your voice small. You gripped the necklace to your chest.

“I don’t know. But I fucking hope so, y/n,” Rafe said before turning around and walking out of your door.

Epilogue

“It’s been two years, dad,” you fidget on the bar stool in your parent’s house, you were finally back in the Outer Banks for the first time since Sarah’s funeral. A small simple gold chain hangs from your neck. You don’t remember the last time you took it off.

“A lot of things have changed, y/n. He might not be who he was anymore,” your dad warned, his eyes trained on yours and even though you know he meant that maybe Rafe isn’t like the boy you fell in love with when you were fifteen, all you wished for was that he wasn’t like the boy he was when he was nineteen.

You held up your glass of water, as if you’re making a toast, “then here’s to changes,” you smiled as your dad shook his head.

When Rafe had left your house, two years ago, he had come back to the Outer Banks like a boy on a mission. You weren’t exactly sure what had happened but rumor has it, he reached out to JJ, Kiara, and Pope to help put his father in prison. From there, they had recruited the help from Mrs. Lana Grubbs, who somehow had enough information to put Ward away for good. Of course, in the midst of getting his father in jail, he had to come clean about his involvement in the murder of Sheriff Peterkin—something that should’ve been a capital offense, but with the help of a very good lawyer (thanks dad) and being involved in the arrest of Ward Cameron, it was brought down to voluntary manslaughter. Rumor also had it that Ward Cameron could’ve gotten away, he could have stuck to his original story, seems like the police bought it anyway but once he heard that Rafe was basically selling himself out for this, he complied, knowing that his son would get less time. By all means, Ward was not a good father and even a worse excuse of a man but you’d like to believe that that was his way of telling Rafe that he loved him enough to do this, especially since he’s lost Sarah.

You sat outside of the prison, in your car. You saw the barb wires and the guards and almost got cold feet. You wrapped your hands tightly around the steering wheel until your knuckles turned white and took a deep breath. You didn’t know why you were so nervous but you felt like if you exit your car, you’d turn into a puddle of goo. After a couple of breathing exercises, you’ve gathered enough courage to walk up to the gate, giving the officer your ID, hoping that you’re still on Rafe’s visitations list. After a couple of minutes, just enough to make you sweat, they led you back to a room. Metal chairs had lined up against the glass, a phone at the side of each divider.

Reminding yourself to breathe, you sat down on the cold steel. You picked up the phone, eager to hear Rafe’s voice. As the rows of inmates started filling up each seat, sitting in front of their loved ones, your eyes searched for him. All the orange jumpsuits looking the same but then you felt it. That connection, that energy that you once shared with this man who was once the love of your life and now almost a stranger. He sat down across from you as you looked up at him, a grin painted on his face, and for the first time in a while, his smile reaches his eyes, “hey princess.”

tags: @millyelliot @snkkat

#rafe x reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron #drew starkey #HAAAAAAA DID I SLEEP? NO #DID I CRY? YEH #FUCK THIS IS LONG #outer banks #my drabbles #outerbanks #outer banks fic #outerbanks fic #my writing

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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First of all thanks so much for all your TOG history posts! I have a question specifically about the one where you explained the continuity errors with Nicky being a priest. I like your "second son of a nobleman" Nicky that you use in your fics a lot. But I also really like the idea of a lower-class Nicky; TOG already has wealthy merchant scion Joe and literal queen Andy--i love the idea that Nicky comes from humbler origins. Is there any way to make that make sense in a historical context?

I mean, pretty much anything is possible in history? If it can happen, it probably has happened at some point, and even the broad categories and generalizations that historians apply to things are never always right in all cases, even if they represent the major trends. I obviously don’t want to shoot down people’s headcanons or ideas, even and indeed especially from my soapbox of “cranky historian complains about things on the internet.” I have personally tweaked some aspects of Joe and Nicky’s backstories that I use in my fics, since I came up with DVLA before I knew anything about the comics or any bonus content that had been released about the characters. My feeling is that since a) it’s film-verse, not comics, and b) their backstories haven’t been shown on screen and may be subject to change in adaptation, I can, while engaging in transformative fanworks, create them to suit myself. I obviously keep the broad parameters of what canon establishes, but within that space, I do occasionally nip and tuck and move things around. For example in my new AU fic, I DID make Nicky a priest as in graphic-novel canon, but that’s long since changed by the time he arrives in Jerusalem. For the fics I write for them in canon-verse, I tend to use the backstory I established in DVLA, just because... well, I like it a lot, obviously, and that was what I wrote it for. This is just because I am the aforementioned cranky historian and I rearrange the toys when I am playing with them, but my interpretations don’t necessarily have to be everyone else’s.

On that note, since you did ask for some historical context/plausibility for this headcanon, it depends (again) on how much extra story you want to invent for Nicky and how many gaps you want to fill in. Which is totally fine either way! I talked in this ask about the People’s Crusade of 1096, the involvement of unarmed/unskilled commoners in the crusades more generally, and how that would have impacted on Nicky if he didn’t have any previous training in arms. Once again, as with him being a priest, him being a low-class peasant/freeman of humble status runs into some (not insurmountable, but still extant) problems with where he would have learned how to use a sword and weapons more generally. I also obviously approve of the idea of bringing some class diversity into our historical immortals, but the son of a very poor bondsman (the stereotypical peasant in a cottage or a serf working a lord’s land) is, alas, going to have gotten into trouble in his community if he is training with a sword. (Or at least definitely raised some eyebrows, as well as questions about where he got it and how he paid for it.) As I’ve mentioned, the sword is a knight’s weapon, so if Nicky has been using it at all, he has at least enough status to qualify for that.

Happily, however, there are plenty of ways to make him not be from a rich family. As late as the end of the 11th century, aka around the time of the First Crusade, knights could still be distinguished as “free” or “not free,” and since this was before the rise of chivalry as a major social force, knights and men-at-arms were often (and indeed could be throughout the medieval era) from humble families, minor gentry, or even the working class. Chivalry made knighthood into an especial aspiration for the nobility, but not every man on a battlefield was a nobleman -- far from it. Indeed, the nobleman would call up the families who owed allegiance to him, and they could call up the families who owed allegiance to them, and so on. The definition of “knight” in the pre-chivalry landscape is a little muddy; does it convey prestige or social status, or just that someone was trained in arms? Is there a difference between that and just “man at arms” or “armed man?” For instance, at the battle of Hastings in 1066, the English army under King Harold II was composed of fyrdmen, aka regular working stiffs who had been summoned from the land (and indeed, we know they were of humble status because they had to go back and help their families with the harvest after William the soon-to-be-Conqueror had still not arrived in September), and housecarls, the professional/lifelong soldiers who served in the army as a career and were paid for their service. But we don’t always have the luxury of clear terminology for the many, many kinds of armed men who existed in various social strata in the Middle Ages.

That means, therefore, that Nicky can very easily be a poor knight, a man-at-arms of humble status who has just his sword and his armor and is subject to the vassal-of-a-vassal-of-a-vassal-of-a-lord, or other armed man of unclear rank who definitely doesn’t have money or come from a rich family. Despite the unavoidably classist nature of many medieval history chronicles, the ranks of society weren’t only king, duke, earl, and nobleman. It was a patron-and-client society, and while the king was the ultimate patron, plenty of lords of middling rank or lower would have vassals who owed allegiance to them, and vassals who owed allegiance to those vassals in turn. The word feudal, which has been so misused and turned into an (incorrect) shorthand for constant petty territorial violence, basically just means this hierarchical society of mutual rights and obligations, where (unless you were the king) you both owed fealty to someone higher in rank than you and had people lower in rank who owed fealty to you. That would only end with the serf/bondsman, who wasn’t patron to anyone. But within that, there is plenty of wiggle room to make Nicky non-noble.

This would raise the question, however, of how he was going to pay for his journey to Jerusalem. Crusade financing was a perennial problem even for kings and lords with deep pockets, and the cost of a journey to the Middle East was far, far beyond most ordinary people’s ability to cover, which is why the commoners’ crusades kept ending in disaster. (That and obviously the fact that they weren’t trained in war.) When you are traveling for months and months and have to provide all your own food, shelter, arms and armor, transportation, upkeep, etc., you would either have to have a wealthy lord paying your maintenance, have substantial private financing of your own, have sold most of your property to go (which then implies that you had property to sell), made good with a religious house who had advanced you the cash, etc. We can really go down a rabbit hole here about Duke Hugh of Burgundy making a deal with Genoa in 1192 to provision King Philip and the French army on the Third Crusade. (This is helpful since it deals with Genoa, i.e. Nicky, even if not for the First Crusade.) This covered 650 French knights and their squires and came out to nine marks a knight, which is about £6, for an overall bill of 5,850 marks.

To give you an idea of how much this is in comparative terms: in 1380, a poll tax of twelve pence per person was considered so extortionate that it helped kick off the 1381 Peasants’ Revolt. And this was two hundred years later, when wages had risen and exchange rates had increased. One pound was worth 240 pence, so if twelve pence was an exaction for your average laborer, you can see that they’d get nowhere close even to one pound. A gift of £4 to William the Conqueror in 1066 was also considered a wildly high sum. And this was all on the extremely cheap end of crusading ventures. Frederick Barbarossa, who went on the Third Crusade at the same time as Philip and the French, had expenses coming close to 100,000 marks. Crusading, in other words, was wildly expensive (often ruinously so), and either Nicky would have a wealthy patron (meaning that he was somewhat closer to the top of the heap, even if below the first rank of noblemen) or money of his own or some way to finance his journey. Which again means that he has to have some kind of background that enables him to do it. The issue with the ordinary people who went on crusade (and they absolutely did, despite various attempts to forbid them as not militarily useful) is that, as noted, they weren’t trained in arms and they didn’t have money, and when you’re trying to travel from Europe to the Holy Land under 11th-century conditions, that becomes a big problem.

So yes. Basically: you can absolutely make Nicky a person of lower rank, down to a humble man-at-arms, who doesn’t have a rich family and doesn’t come from money. But if he’s going on crusade all the way to Jerusalem -- and if he’s successful at it, i.e. we’re assuming he didn’t get killed until Joe did it the first time -- then he has to have at least enough social status that he is the direct vassal of a wealthy lord or can make some financial arrangements on his own, has been able to train with a sword, knows what he’s doing with it, etc. You are obviously welcome to invent whatever details or backstory you want for him, but alas, crusading was often the provenance of knights, noblemen, and kings for brutally practical reasons, whether economic, social, military, or pragmatic. So the further you go down the social rankings, the more logistical details you’ll have to think up for him (at least if you want to be historically nitpicky, and it’s fantasy, so you frankly don’t even have to, but hey, what do you people come to me for if not historical nitpicking?) as to how he would have trained in arms, paid for his journey, been able to go on crusade in the first place, etc. So yes.

Thanks so much for this question! It was a lot of fun.

#the old guard #the old guard meta #medieval history #history of warfare #long post #emotionallycompromisedrobots #ask

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andmaybegayer · 3 years

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Last Monday of the Week: 2021-03-01

First Monday of the Month. My boss just quit at work which means I'm now the only formally trained engineer left who has any particular specialization in embedded systems. This week is going to be a doozy.

I also wrote a Very Long set of media updates because I’ve been consuming some stuff that makes me think a lot. Never a good sign.

Listening: I spent all of Saturday playing Minecraft after talking with some friends about it during the week on IRC. Practicing what I preach with regards to my Large Biome Supermacy policy, which does involve a lot of walking. Hence, I started catching up on The Adventure Zone: Graduation again, I'm like ten episodes behind.

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/adventure-zone/the-adventure-zone-graduation-ep-32-by-a-haircut/

I don't really enjoy Travis' DM'ing style. It's very loose and he has a tendency to let players run wild without much structure which is a tricky thing to handle. He does a lot of worldbuilding and character design but doesn't seem to plan much in the way of arcs. That pays off sometimes (returning to the school to realize they broke a promise they made a few sessions earlier and had to deal with consequences, for example) and when it does, it’s really good, but it's finnicky. I know DM's who can do that, but, well, actually I know One Single DM who can do that well and she's absurdly smart.

Reading: Still on Worm, I just got past chapter 8 or so now. It lives in my phone browser so I've mostly been reading it whenever I get some spare time, which is a good sign. If a book doesn't grab me I need to really settle down in a quiet space to avoid getting distracted, but I can read Worm while someone else is on the phone in the same room.

It is a story with a lot of very well-conveyed feelings and events. It's very easy to imagine yourself in it. Characters actually act like they care about what they're doing, I feel like writing this took a lot of care to keep everyone on model.

There's also a certain care given to the superpowers that you'd usually only see in forum posts arguing about an actual superhero story. Everyone always likes to argue about how far you can push a superpower: can you use teleporting to fly? What prevents a speedster from catching fire in the air? Where does the energy for a pyrokinetic ability come from? Worm takes these and runs with them as a way to make absolutely any fight become a series of gambits relying on whether a power can or cannot be used to perform some high-stakes trick.

The world certainly has some underpinning contrivances to explain why no one gets killed very often but I've always considered nitpicking the base contrivances of a setting silly, because that's precisely what they are: contrived, in order to allow the rest of the story to flow from there. Like arguing about Omega’s abilities in the famous thought experi-*I am dragged off stage by the ratblr police for making a by now extremely stale joke*

Watching: I came and edited this section in like an hour before this posts because I keep on forgetting to put it in. I don’t really like watching TV and with my parents stuck at home in Pandemic Times it’s how they pass the time.

I did finish S3 of the Good Place. It’s very funny. I’m glad I’m watching it and I’m going to have to go find S4 because ZA Netflix doesn’t have it for whatever reason. It feels a little like it was written by Phillip Pullman if Phillip Pullman was a comedy TV writer.

I also really enjoyed the PBS Spacetime video about how time causes gravity. Love when an explanation of concepts is good enough that you drawn the conclusion on your own.

youtube

Playing: Visual Novel Hell plus Minecraft.

I spent approximately seven hours in Minecraft over two days. I tend to hop in and out of games for 1-2 hours at a time but there's a handful that can suck me in for an entire day. Minecraft, Warframe, Horizon Zero Dawn, Night in the Woods. Bastion, to a lesser extent. I end up avoiding them because I don't like loosing entire days, but I wasn't really planning on doing anything this weekend anyways.

Minecraft was mostly a long-ass trek to find a saddle, because as previously mentioned, I enjoy playing it with Large Biomes for the sense of scale.

I also completed Act 3 of Psycholonials and Eliza.

Psycholonials is odd. It is doing the thing that Hussie does where it dances around what's ostensibly the story to carry out the actual story. You get used to the trope after your first encounter but it still makes you wonder when the other shoe will drop, and of course, there's no reason it ever has to. The story may remain in suspended animation behind the every growing mess of narrative red tape tying the B-plot together.

Stories about Social Media have no well established norms. I think I might pick up Feed by M. T. Anderson and also perhaps Hank Green's books sometime. See what context they set that in.

Eliza is frustrating to me. It's a game for programmers, by programmers, about programmers. I'm friends with a lot of Capital P Programmers, the types who go to university and get sniped for developer positions at Seattle or Silicon Valley tech companies and who make great and terrible things and then warn you about the deep problems that underpin the slowly rolling ball of venture capital and bloated technology that is the tech industry. But at the same time, it makes me feel like I've burnt out on that conceptually before I even went in. It’s a whole other world that I’m familiar with but very distant from. In fact, that’s kinda how I feel about Psycholonials too. I’m familiar with the social media rat race but I also don’t go there. Parallels!

My cousins (who are halfway to Capital P Programmers, only so much you can do halfway around the world from silicon valley) warned me not to go into CS, because it would bore me, and that's a non-trivial part of why I'm in Engineering. They gave the same advice about Biology and Physics, without that I may have ended up in Microbiology. it’s not my domain, but because of how Engineering is going, you end up a lot closer to programmers than you think. I found out the other day that most of the software developers on my team have no formal tertiary qualifications, which is accepted in CS but of course, right out when it comes to engineering. It’s a whole other world that I kinda expected to skip around. I might go into this another time, since this post is already getting long.

Making: I haven’t done any engineering scicomm posts on here in a while so I started a few blank drafts and finally got one off the ground. With some luck I’ll have that ready this week. What’s it about? Not saying! It might change!

I’ve been doing layout for a custom keyboard, I need to call a laser cutting place and find out what their kerf requirements are so I can adjust the path accordingly. Wouldn’t do to burn a couple hundred rand on an oversized part, I’m paying for this, not my employer like the other times I’ve done laser cutting, so I’m probably not going to spring for getting one of their designers to check my design. At some point I should CAD up a chassis, but at the same time I might just buy some wood and go ham with a router once I get the plates cut.

Computers Slot: I got WeeChat set up properly on my desktop, which technically was just a matter of getting my SSH keys moved over. It’s taking me forever to move in to Cinnabar, in part because Stibnite lost her boot partition and I haven’t bothered to fix it.

So here’s a pitch for WeeChat as a good quality Terminal UI IRC Client. Many of my closest friends live there and it has a good set of tools to help me keep in touch.

WeeChat is very configurable but with perfectly sane defaults, I didn’t configure it for years. The UI is smarter and less arcane than something like irssi, and if you enable mouse support it can be downright modern. Running it remotely like this limits some features but as long as you don’t mind jumping through a few hoops to do filesharing, IRC is really great like this.

One of the big ones is the ability to do that double-pane thing, I can keep an eye on two channels at once (really as many as I can cram on my screen, but usually two) which is great when you want to browse channels while talking in your home channel.

It also has a good array of remote access tools, from what I’m running up there, just weechat running on my server inside tmux connected over mosh for low-latency SSH, to weechat-relay, a relay protocol built in to weechat. At the moment relay only supports android phones and the glowingbear web client, but I’ve never really looked around since both of those cover all my needs. Easily one of the best ways to get IRC on a modern mobile device, barring maybe IRCCloud.

#last monday of the week #galena

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