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winterscaptain · 3 years

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advocate.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the very first part of ajf! the beginning of our story! oh my goodness! this got a little long, but there was a lot i wanted to pack in here. thank you all for your patience as i worked through this <3 i’ve got some fun graphics in here for you - open them for best quality!

words: 8.45k warnings: language, alcohol use, canon-typical descriptions of injury and violence, mention of suicide

summary: “our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.” - oscar wilde. au!july-september 2007

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

“Director Shepard?”

You approach her, feeling very young, with a question and a smile.

She turns, smiling at you softly. “Yes?”

Her lecture was immaculate - she covered a broad swath of topics - being the first female director of NCIS, her history in international relations and liaison work with British and Israeli intelligence - all of which paved a bit of a roadmap for success in federal law enforcement.

You introduce yourself and shake her hand. “I’ve gotta tell you it was a challenge to choose between agencies in my applications, I admire your work both as an agent and director of NCIS and I was wondering…”

You lose your nerve a bit, but steel yourself again and ask.

“... Would you be willing to meet with me and talk about your career trajectory a little more?”

There’s a light in her eyes as she studies you with a kind of supreme benevolence and gentleness. “I would.”

+++

“Alright,” she says, setting her napkin in her lap. “What do you want to know?”

You laugh a little, “Is everything a good place to start?”

She laughs, and you’re immediately drawn to her warmth. There’s a kind of fire in her, and it doesn’t just come from her hair. “Not at all. Though I’ll give you some unsolicited advice now, to save some time. Find someone you can follow, someone you can learn from.”

She goes on to tell you about her mentor, still on the Major Case Response Team under her purview at NCIS. Though she’s his boss now, she tells you that she still goes to him for advice, for friendship.

“Trusting the people you work with always comes first. It’s not always possible, but when you can manage it. It makes everything better. Always protect them where you can, and don’t ignore the politics”

You do everything except take notes as she tells more stories, how she’s switched from “probie” to Agent to diplomat to Director, before she turns back to you.

“Do you know which unit you’re interested in, yet?”

You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m hoping I’ll have a better idea when the Quantico unit chiefs start coming in to lecture. I’m hoping one of them will catch my interest.”

“Great idea. When one of them does, give me a call. I think any unit could benefit from someone like you.”

+++

Agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Gideon have your attention the moment they step into the room. They’re confident, with a sharp kind of intelligence you admire.

The world of the BAU is fascinating. Serial killers, sex criminals, the very worst of depraved humanity is their everyday. While it sounds somewhat horrifying, it compels you.

Agent Hotchner especially catches your attention. He’s confident in a kind of serious, bladed way. Clearly intelligent, he commands the attention of everyone in the room and effortlessly wields his authority among curious students and his fellow agents.

You’d think Agent Gideon would be the obvious leader, what with all his years of experience and seniority, but even with his grasp of a field he shaped, he doesn’t hold a candle to Hotchner.

With your half-hour-old knowledge, you put together a quick profile of the remaining figure.

Agent Morgan, while strong and clearly an alpha male, brings a skepticism with him. It hangs in the air around him and seems to apply to both of his colleagues. There’s something about Agent Gideon that makes him uneasy, distrustful. He tends to shift his weight away from him when they get too close to each other.

He’s not overt about his skepticism regarding Agent Hotchner, but you get the idea there’s more under the surface you couldn’t possibly know just by studying his behavior in a lecture hall.

This is fun.

You hide your smile in your notebook, jotting down a couple of notes as Agent Gideon continues his “brief overview of profile-driven serial killer arrests.”

+++.

“Director Shepard’s office.”

“Hi Cynthia,” you greet her secretary. “Is Director Shepard in?”

She connects you, and you ask about the BAU.

“Is Jason Gideon still the unit chief over there?” She asks. You can already hear her typing and you’re more than a little concerned about her tenacity in this moment.

“No, ma’am, it’s Agent Hotchner, now.”

“Perfect.”

+++

+++

You’re called into SSA Radner’s office the following Monday to “discuss some changes to your academy courses.”

That doesn’t sound good.

SSA Radner, an imposing and intimidating woman, is the SSAIC in charge of your NAT class - the person in charge of your collective fates.

No pressure.

She opens the door when you knock, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk. “Please, have a seat.”

You chuckle nervously. “Thanks, Agent Radner.” You note her little smile as she sits at her desk, and chance a question. “Have I done something, I dunno, wrong? We don’t seem to find much good news in the SAIC’s office at my rank.”

That pulls a laugh from her. “I wouldn't worry too much. I have a proposition for you. It’s...unusual, but not unheard of.”

Your brow crumples a little and she exhales.

“It might actually be better if - yeah. Hold on.” She clicks her intercom and her assistant chirps from the other side.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Please send them in. I’d like to do a joint briefing.”

Joint briefing? What is this, the third invasion of Iraq?

The door opens behind you and you whip around, finding Agent Hotchner and IOS Section Chief Erin Strauss.

What the fuck?

Either you’ve done something terrible or insane and you’re not sure which.

Chief Strauss addresses you first, shaking your hand. You introduce yourself for good measure but have a feeling she already knows who you are.

“It’s come to our attention that you have ambitious interests and are taking exceptional steps to make the most of your education and training at the academy. Is this a fair assessment?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Agent Hotchner steps forward, sort of looming over you with something that isn’t quite a stern look. You take his hand when he offers, introducing yourself and ignoring the jolt of energy that shoots up your arm at his touch.

His handshake is firm, his hands dry and warm. He looks different up close, younger, maybe. There’s the barest touch of grey at his temples, the beginnings of lines around his mouth and eyes.

Not what I expected.

What did you expect?

How old could he be? Thirty-five, maybe?

Shut up.

He’s handsome.

Shut up!

His face relaxes a little bit before he speaks. “Director Shepard, a close professional colleague, has been a staunch advocate for you and your talents. She approached me about taking you on, giving you case hours in lieu of some coursework.”

“You’d have some catching up to do, as it’s already three weeks into your twenty, and we’d transfer you into the profiling classes,” Agent Radner adds. “But with your diligence, I doubt you’ll have trouble with the added workload.”

“No, ma’am. That should be fine. But,” you look between the three of them, “what does ‘case hours in lieu of some coursework’ mean, exactly?”

“You’d be on assignment with the BAU until you received your formal assignment following successful completion of the academy, with the possibility of assignment with the BAU as a full-fledged agent.” Chief Strauss rattles off the information as if it’s the thousandth time she’s said it.

It might be.

You can’t even fathom how much effort and time must have gone into this decision. The realization leaves you speechless.

She prompts you again. “Does that sound like an opportunity in which you’d be interested?”

“Oh, yes, ma’am.” You feel a little stupid, but you’re rewarded with a proud smile from Agent Radner.

You could also swear you saw a twitch of Agent Hotchner’s lips, but he doesn’t seem to be a man who smiles much.

+++

“So this’ll be your desk,” Agent Jennifer-but-my-friends-call-me-JJ Jareau says, pointing to one of the many desks in the bullpen.

You set your bag down with a little smile, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

Agent Morgan pats your shoulder as he passes your desk. “You’ll do just fine, kid. Ready for a case briefing in ten?”

“Sure.”

His blinding smile eats up his whole face and you like him already. He’s different than you thought he’d be, but you still don’t think your preliminary profile was too far off.

Agent Gideon, still holed up in his office, has yet to acknowledge you.

Your eyes keep wandering to the open blinds, behind which Agent Hotchner and a woman you understand to be his wife have a quiet, apparently heated argument on either side of his desk. Except for the tight set of her mouth and the angry glint in her eye, she seems lovely.

Derek follows your gaze. “Wasn’t always like that.”

You look at him, a little furrow in your brow.

Should he be telling me this?

“She’s not always here either, but their son, Jack, has been sick, so it’s been… tense.” Derek shakes his head. “You wouldn’t catch me married in this job, not once.”

That pulls a laugh from you.

Emily, sitting at the desk beside you, turns in her chair. “Remind me to drink to that later.”

Derek snorts and picks up a couple of files, headed up to the round table room.

+++

Your first case briefing is, well...brief. The case seems fairly straightforward and you run through relevant vocabulary while JJ outlines the case details.

Preferential offender, keeps his victims for no more than three days, victims found in public places.

He wants them found, and fast.

Need-based, maybe? What are his priors?

You’re all dismissed with a brisk, “Wheels up in thirty.”

You pack your things a little slower than probably called for. Hotch disappears into his office again, closing the door behind him. When you pass the window, his wife is tucked under his chin.

Hotch’s eyes flicker to yours and you quickly train your gaze on the floor, hustling down the stairs.

+++

You land next to each other when you board the plane. You do your best to avoid taking anyone's assigned seat.

With a team of this size, you can only assume they have such things.

And they do.

Gideon, Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss take a seat at the table while JJ perches on the arm of the couch.

Hotch settles at the informal “head” of the table, leaning on the chairs across the aisle. You take a seat in one of the chairs in the row next to him, trying to stay out of the way.

“C’mere, kid,” Derek says, beckoning you forward. “You’re on this team.”

You shuffle forward in your seat, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and case file open in your hands. “I’m ready.”

JJ smiles at you, and you almost feel comfortable.

+++

You end up alone with Hotch in the precinct conference room after you land, unboxing files and sorting them for Spencer. Until you know enough to make yourself useful, you’ve made it your mission to handle the tedious and the clerical.

Hotch pauses every once in a while as if he wants to say something. You continue on your way. When he’s ready, he’ll stop you.

“I’m sorry about earlier. My wife, Haley, she -”

You look up, waving him off with a little smile. “It’s okay, Hotch. It’s none of my business.”

He looks at you for a minute, studying your face with a bit of a squint. “You mean that.”

It’s not a question.

You’re confused.

“Of course.” A nervous laugh leaves you. “I mean, you’re welcome to tell me if you want, but it’s nothing I need to speculate or gossip about or, God forbid, profile.”

The shock and relief war on his face until it settles back into something that looks like his usual severity, but a little softer. He doesn't say anything else, but you have the sneaking suspicion you passed a test neither one of you prepared for.

Spencer and Emily return from their trip to the medical examiner’s office.

“Who organized these?” Spencer asks, pointing at the neat piles you made.

“Me.” You look up from another box you’re working on. “Would it be helpful if they’re sorted another way? I went chronologically and then by number and type of offenses, with preferential offenders that match the M.O. on top, when possible.”

Emily, Hotch, and Spencer freeze, staring at you like you grew another head in front of them.

You’re suddenly and violently self-conscious. “What?”

Spencer snaps out of it first, shaking his head and picking up a stack. “Nothing that’s just...um…”

“Exactly right,” Emily supplies. She glances at Hotch before looking back at you. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Hotch is the last to break, but the curious little glances he keeps throwing your way always linger a little too long.

To your credit, you ignore them.

+++

“So, how are you liking it so far?” Derek slides into the driver’s seat and rolls out of the parking lot.

You’re headed to another witness’s house under direct orders to observe and as a few (carefully directed) questions. Derek insisted on bringing you himself while the others keep busy with something else.

“I’m liking it,” you reply.

He laughs. “Coulda fooled me.”

You screw up your face and look over at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he says through a laugh, “when you’re not making yourself ridiculously useful, you look terrified.”

“I am terrified.”

“Nothin’ to be scared of as long as you keep asking questions,” he says.

It’s almost like he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds.

“You’re joking, right?” You turn to face him, shifting in your seat. “Agent Morgan -”

He cuts you off. You’re pretty sure that’s just how he is - he interrupts the other members of the team frequently and fearlessly. “- Derek. Or Morgan.”

“Fine. Morgan, you have to know that your team is legendary. I don’t even know why -”

“- Don’t say it.” He flags his hand before putting it back on the wheel. “You’re here for a reason, and none of us are going to let you fall so hard you can’t pick yourself up, okay?” He glances over, meeting your eyes. “We’ve got your back.”

You quirk a smile. “Thanks.”

“And,” he adds, “Hotch seems to like you alright. That’s half the battle.”

“What’s the other half?”

He snorts. “Gideon. And local law enforcement.”

+++

You settle in a little easier after that. JJ’s your next target as you help her make some calls to the D.A.’s office.

You hang up and take a breath, slumping back in your chair. It’s been a long day already and it’s not even lunchtime.

“Hanging in there?” JJ asks, smiling at you over her files.

You nod. “Yeah. Just a… different kind of energy than the academy, I think.”

“I felt that way when I got here, too. Gideon was unit chief back then and Spence had just started, too.” She huffs a laugh. “It was a little easier when there were more newbies, but then…” Her face clouds over and she shakes her head.

“Then...what?”

She looks up at you and her mouth twists. “Boston.”

+++

“Hey, Derek?”

“Yeah?” He keeps his eyes on the road, but he can hear the trepidation in your voice.

The dark interior of the car feels safe in the early hours of the morning, headed back to the hotel. “You said I could ask you anything, right?”

His eyebrows pinch. “Shoot.”

“What happened in Boston?”

Derek takes a breath and lets it out in a whoosh. “I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be there.”

You wait on him, watching him watch the road.

“Unsub holed himself up in a massive warehouse. Gideon called in all the support he could - A Team, B Team, SWAT, the whole nine. I was visiting my mom in Chicago for her birthday like I do every year.”

He stops at a red light, and you take a moment to look past him into the adjacent SUV, where Emily and Hotch’s profiles rest in a statuesque silhouette, backlit by the streetlamp.

“It was a trap from the start. Everyone pushed in on Gideon’s order and the whole thing just…” He tosses his hand up and it lands with a smack on the leather steering wheel. “It just went up. Boom. Six BAU agents in our unit, dead, just like that. Had to rebuild from scratch.”

You shiver, though the car is warm. “I’m so sorry, Derek.”

He shrugs. “Gideon took six months off, Hotch took over. Gideon came back, Hotch stayed up front.” He smiles a little. “Haley wasn’t happy, but that’s the job.”

Why does it always come back to Haley? To Hotch?

Because he’s the unit chief.

I know but…

Don’t read into it.

You decide to push, just because it’s Derek, because he seems to know, because you feel safe with him, because it might be a mistake. “Is that what you meant?”

“Hm?” His head turns just a little toward you, his brow furrowed.

“You told me on my first day ‘It wasn’t always like this.’ Is that what you meant?”

“No sane man would take on the unit chief position with a wife and baby on the way.” He shrugs and with a secret little smile says, “But nobody ever accused Hotch of being sane.”

+++

Aaron sits in front of his computer, the end of his pen tapping on the glossy wood of his desk.

Does he have feedback? He’s not sure.

Even with your limited knowledge, you’ve managed to optimize most of the administrative bullshit and political nonsense that clogs most local investigations. You bounce between acting as his shadow and JJ’s, making friends and soothing hurts when toes inevitably get stepped on.

You’ve immediately adapted to his style of criticism and correction, using Derek and Spencer as guide-rails when you’re not sure where you’re going.

There’s nothing to complain about.

But then again…

Feedback isn’t just about the negative.

If he’s honest with himself, he knows he won’t shower you in the glowing praise you deserve. Gideon never did for him or anyone that came after.

It’s not in their nature, or his.

He starts to type.

Glancing out his office window, his eyes find you hunched over your desk, poring over one of Spencer’s notebooks, a pinch in your brow as deep as the Grand Canyon.

You work hard, impossibly hard. You throw everything you have at your work in the field while managing your courses and keeping up with your classmates.

That in mind, he drafts an email to Jenny.

With a sigh, he sends it.

He’s still thinking of what you said on the last case, the genuine truth of it, and how many times he has done his best to preempt the gossip that plagues this office, no matter who it’s about.

This unit, as much of a family as it may be, constantly wraps itself in the business of everyone else. To know you couldn’t give less of a shit about his marriage when the rest of the team (save Gideon) probably has money on when Haley calls it quits is, admittedly, refreshing.

+++

After being in the field, classes take on a new kind of banality. You’re keeping up well enough, but watching Gideon and Derek quarrel over the details of a profile beats diving into the techniques - you guessed it - Gideon developed from cases past.

Hotch and Garcia were gracious enough to CC you on emails while you were grounded at the academy, but it wasn’t the same.

It was hard not to feel left behind, like the last kid chosen for dodgeball in PE class, watching the rest of the unit leave the office. You hung back in the bullpen as long as you could find something to do this morning, making it to class at the very last minute.

Even after lectures, your classmates want nothing more than your attention. You’re suddenly consulting on three different practicals and never have a lunch to yourself.

Most afternoons, you sneak into the bullpen just for some peace and quiet.

You hear your last name and look up, finding Erin Strauss approaching you. You stand. “Ma’am.”

“What are you working on?”

You look down at your desk, finding practical and theoretical exam notes shuffled around next to mock consults and other nonsense Hotch dropped on his way to the jet earlier in the week. “Course work, mostly. It’s nice to… get away every once in a while.”

Erin nods with a little smile. “I’d imagine you’ve been pretty popular lately.”

You shrug, a little facetious. “You could say that.”

She pays your shoulder in a surprisingly maternal gesture, before wishing you luck and leaving you to your work.

At this point, you can’t even imagine just being an FBI agent.

+++

You’ve just closed your burning, tired eyes when your phone rings.

You answer, your last name a grumble into the mic.

“It’s Hotch.”

You sit up straight in bed, immediately awake. “Sorry, sir, I -“

“I should apologize. I don’t mean to interrupt your studying or wake you but I think I could use your opinion on this profile.”

You frown in the dark, flipping your desk lamp on. “My help, sir?”

“Yeah.” He heaves a sigh and you can almost see the fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been looking at it too long.”

“Maybe Derek, can -“

“No. You. Here, listen -“

He rattles off the details of the case and you snatch your notebook and pen off the desk, jotting things down as Hotch continues through the case.

“Have you identified and contacted local individuals who fit the victimology, taken steps to protect them? He’s a preferential offender with a predictable cooling-off period, right?”

For some reason, this isn’t half as exhausting as the practical exam practice you’d been working on for the last five hours. You may or may not have written those exact questions about fifteen times, but it’s far less exhausting when directed at Hotch.

“Yeah. Two high-risk victims are in protective custody and JJ’s been in touch since this morning.”

You go through a few more basic questions, getting your feet under you, before asking the one you’re really after.

“Sir, why did you call me?”

“I needed another set of eyes.”

You huff a laugh. “No, I gathered that, but why did you call me? I’m in the middle of learning about something you’ve been doing for…” You search for a number, but your brain is fried.

“Too long,” he supplies.

“Sure. But my point stands.”

“That it does.” Something creaks in the background and you imagine he’s leaned back in his chair.

“Did I help?” You’re happy he can’t see your dubious, if not entirely doubtful, expression.

He’s happy you can’t see the little fond smile on his face. “Yes, actually. You did.”

+++

“Wheels up in thirty.”

You all stand from the table and start your routines. Emily and Spencer make a beeline for the coffee machine while JJ jets back to her office for contact sheets and files and all manner of coordinating materials.

Derek’s routine is simple enough - he already has his coffee and his go bag, so he’s answering a few emails before wheels up.

You never really know what to do during this liminal space, so you stick to classwork.

Much to your surprise, you’ve shot ahead in your classes on the shoulders of Derek and Spencer. They’ve been monumentally helpful with the history and application of profiling techniques (though much of Derek’s advice has been ‘just watch Gideon,’ you’re not sure how to watch a process that takes place entirely inside the man’s head).

You ride with Hotch to the airstrip, looking out the window most of the way. It’s only a five minute drive, but the tree-lined roads around Quantico are always lovely this time of the morning.

As always, you do your best to stay out of the way on the plane, taking up residence on Hotch’s right with your notebook and case file.

You offer some thoughts here and there, not pushing too much or saying enough to make an ass of yourself.

When Hotch calls break, the rest of the team scatters to their respective corners.

Gideon turns to you, gesturing with one finger. “Hey, ah…”

Spencer chirps your last name from across the cabin and you shoot him a grateful smile.

“Good job in the briefing, today.”

And with that, he disappears to the far side of the cabin, leaving you and Hotch alone by the table.

“Wow,” you say with a little smile. “I didn’t know he was aware of my existence.”

Hotch doesn’t say anything, but his lips twitch.

Success.

+++

“Welcome back, kiddo!” Derek offers you fist and you bump your knuckles against his on your way back to your desk. “How’d those exams go?”

You huff, playing at defeat. “Oh, you know.”

“Don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.”

Hotch, returning from a meeting with Strauss, hardly looks up from the file in his hand when he says, “Well done on your exams. SSA Radner threatened to hang your marksmanship targets on her wall.”

You hide a smile. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“Not fair!” Spencer says, tossing another Tums in his mouth. “I never passed those.”

“Then how on earth do you have that, Reid?” You point at his six-shooter, still clipped to his hip.

“Wait wait wait,” JJ says, dropping her files and crossing her arms. “You haven’t heard that story?”

Your eyes flicker from Derek, to JJ, to Spencer, and back. “...No.”

JJ settles in, regaling you with a wild tale of an L.D.S.K. -

“You remember what that stands for, right?” Derek points at you and you have a feeling this is about to become some kind of pop quiz.

“Yeah. Long Distance Serial Killer.”

“Good. Famous unsubs include…?”

You sit back in your chair with a little smirk on your face. “D.C. Snipers Muhammad and Malvo, active October 2002, seventeen victims total. Apprehended by agents from the FBI Baltimore field office -”

Derek holds up a finger. “And?”

“- and the BAU and the Maryland State Police.”

“Good.”

JJ waits for Derek to nod at her and she continues what you imagine to be a rather embellished version of a story in which Hotch and Reid save the day.

“...And then Hotch just starts kicking the shit out of Spencer -”

Hotch’s office door shuts and he sails down the stairs with one of those little secret smiles. “This one ends with Reid stealing my sidearm and shooting the unsub in the head.” He taps right between his eyebrows in the barest of pauses on his way out of the bullpen. “Dead center.”

Derek and JJ groan, both whining about how he ruined the punchline before devolving into a fit of giggles. You can almost see the smirk on his face as he pushes through the glass door and turns the corner.

You join in the mirth, ruffling Reid’s hair. He smiles widely at you.

Maybe you could just get used to this place.

+++

The second round of classes on top of added case hours (you’re traveling with the unit more often than not) nearly brings you to the brink.

On the plane back to Quantico, you realize you can’t remember the last time you actually had a full night of sleep.

The rest of the unit is out cold, curled into themselves or stretched out under blankets, save for Hotch and Gideon.

Gideon’s writing in that wretched notebook again, entirely focused on his work under the weak reading light.

Aaron sits beside you on the other side of the cabin, looking over a few files before returning home. You watch him check his watch, sigh, shrug, and pull out his phone. To your surprise, he doesn’t move to give himself space as he calls his wife.

“Hey, honey, it’s me… Yeah, we’re on the plane. Should be back within the next hour and a half... “

He sighs and tightly closes his eyes. “Haley, please… Yes, I know Jack’s already asleep… Are you implying I didn’t do my damnedest to - Then what’s your point?...”

His voice never once rises above a low murmur. It’s impressive.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can… No, I won’t pass ‘Go’ or collect two-hundred dollars or step foot into my office… Yes. Plane. Tarmac. Car. Home… Yeah… Love you too.”

He snaps his phone shut and leans back, tipping his head against the headrest.

You stay quiet, continuing your review of S.S.A. Bailey’s course on, ironically, conflict de-escalation.

Hotch takes a talking breath and you look over at him, keeping a kind of soft understanding on your face - really, shooting for anything that isn’t curiosity.

“I appreciate your…” He looks for a word. “Discretion.”

You laugh a little down your nose. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s none of my business?”

“How many times do I have to imply that a phrase like that isn’t in the vocabulary of this team, usually?” He shifts a little, and you notice his thumb, running along his forefinger like he’s searching for bone.

“Is it really that bad?”

Hotch raises his eyebrows, and you relent.

“Fine.” You drop your voice. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen?”

He shrugs. “An outside perspective might be nice.”

You keep your eyes on your book as you speak, keeping your volume low and your tone as neutral as you can.

“I’ve seen how Emily worries about fitting in - I can’t help but relate. This team is a family and it’s… hard to break through that sort-of-wall to the outside world.”

The prickly feeling of his eyes on you isn’t altogether unpleasant, but you still haven’t grown used to it.

“Derek and Spencer are worried about Gideon and,” you glance at him briefly, “so are you. Everyone seems to want to know why, but I don't think that’s always useful.”

Hotch hums once, maybe in agreement - you’re not too sure.

You are sure, though, that this was a test.

“How’d I do, Counselor?”

It’s never too early to invoke the J.D. hanging in a frame behind his desk. It was the first thing you noticed and suddenly, a lot more made sense.

You’re rewarded with a small smile. “Not bad. Though you did forget to drop in the little bit about my marriage.”

“I didn’t forget,” you assure him.

“No?”

“No. I figure if you have something to say, you seem like the kind of person who’d just say it. At least,” you shrug, “that’s my impression.”

He’s quiet for a minute before he squints and looks over your shoulder at your reading. His brown eyes track down the page before returning to yours. He’s close to you, but you’re not uncomfortable.

Hotch is...safe. Somehow.

“There’s a reason you’re the exception. Not sure what it is yet,” he says. “But there’s a reason.”

“What?”

He leans back, a cryptic little smile on his face, and says nothing else for the rest of the flight.

+++

“Hotch, are you sure it’s not a trick question?”

“The questions aren’t designed to trick you,” comes a voice from the doorway. To your surprise, it’s Gideon. “They’re designed to stretch and reveal your instincts. No right answer.”

The corners of his mouth turn down while his eyebrows rise in that kind of halfway-encouraging look he sometimes gets. “Just go with your gut.”

He disappears and you turn back to Hotch, scribbling away in a file.

“He’s right.”

Your brain feels less and less bound to your body as the days pass. “Am I nuts, or is that the most words he’s strung together since I got here, combined?”

What you now know to be a smile twitches at Hotch’s mouth. “You’re not nuts.”

You sigh and turn your attention back to your mock exam, twiddling your pencil between your fingers. “I’m sorry to keep bugging you with homework - it feels like cheating.”

He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Resourcefulness is not cheating. If it was, I’d have to go back and get my J.D. out of a Cracker Jack box.”

You muffle a laugh.

He checks his watch. “I have a check-in with the budget office in five minutes. You’re welcome to stay right where you are, but it’ll be boring and I plan to do a lot of pacing.”

You hold your hands up in surrender and settle in.

Friday afternoons in the office feel a lot like Saturdays in the office - which is to say, nothing happens at all. The rest of the team is catching up on paperwork while Gideon walks laps with his little notebook.

Not three minutes into his conversation, Hotch stands and begins to pace, as promised.

"No, we can't cut the technology budget... Because if the BAU gets called to a remote region, we need to have immediate access to satellite phones and our technical analyst… Yes… Send the budget to the Director, and I'm certain it'll come back approved without changes… The arrest and prosecution rate of this unit is -”

His desk phone rings and he gestures for you to pick it up.

“Agent Hotchner’s office,” you say with more than a little trepidation. You’re definitely not qualified to answer the unit chief’s phone.

“Goddamn it, Aaron why can’t you -” She pauses. “Wait. Sorry. Who is this?”

You introduce yourself. “I’m currently on-assignment with the unit. It’s… unconventional.”

“Hm. Why are you answering Aaron’s phone?” Her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s more curious than that. You’d imagine this doesn’t happen all that often. He’s either at his desk, or he’s not at his desk.

She calls him Aaron.

You’re not sure why that surprises you. They’re married, and he has a first name.

Taking a look across the room, you watch Hotch’s profile as he continues to defend the budget he submitted.

Aaron.

You make an attempt to see the man behind the suit, the man who goes home to his wife and son when he can.

“I’m using his office to study for my academy exams. I’ll see if I can reach Agent Hotchner for you. Just a second.”

She snorts something that could be a laugh if it wasn’t so sharp. “Thanks.”

Hotch looks over and squints at you, mouthing, Who is it?

You put her on hold and answer in a stage whisper. “It’s your wife.”

Hotch freezes for just a second - it almost looks like he’s rebooting.

He blinks three times in rapid succession before he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Tell her I’m in a meeting. I’ll call her back.” You move to reach for the phone but he holds up a finger and you freeze. “Wait two minutes.”

You follow instructions, taking the time to answer a few more mock exam questions. You try not to think too hard about his avoidance. This doesn’t seem like a particularly pressing phone call - Hotch is in budget meetings all the time.

None of your business.

After about a minute and a half, you pick up the phone again.

Before you can say anything, she’s already back on her mini-rampage. About twenty seconds in, she pauses.

“I’m so sorry. I’m still not talking to my husband, am I?”

De-escalate. Disarm. Establish rapport.

You can do this.

You channel Derek, using a softer tone designed to distract. Maybe you’ll sneak some humor in there, if you can manage it.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hotchner, he’s not available.”

With a defeated sigh, she asks, flatly, “Where is he?”

Humor. Play off her disappointment.

“I assume he’s in a meeting or something - he likes to think he’s very important - but I can’t find him.”

To your surprise, she laughs a little.

You check with Hotch across the room. He rolls his eyes at you but continues his bickering.

Success.

“Can you just… I don’t know… Tell him I called, or something?”

You try not to think too hard about the defeat in her tone. “I promise I’ll badger him to call you back as soon as he’s back at his desk, ma’am.”

“Wow.” She sounds impressed, and you’re not sure why. You’re not left in suspense for long. She continues -

“You’re a way better liar than JJ. Also - please don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel old. Haley’s just fine.”

“Of course.”

“You know what…” She asks for your cell number and you give it to her, throwing a glance at Hotch for good measure. He’s still pacing.

He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, but can’t say anything to you before he’s forced to respond to the poor budget clerk who drew the short straw. “No we can’t start sharing hotel rooms…”

Haley interrupts your momentary space-out. “Thanks, again. If he doesn’t have a chance to call me back, can you let him know I’m going to my sister’s for the weekend? With Jack?”

“Sure.”

That’s another question I’m not going to ask.

You hang up the phone and get back to your exam, trying not to feel comforted by the lull of familiarity in the room.

+++

For some reason, you keep finding yourself alone in police precincts in the middle of nowhere with Hotch sitting across the table from you.

“Hey,” he says.

You look up.

“Haley, she…” He heaves a sigh and trails off for a minute, frowning at a spot above your head. “I don’t know why I’m asking, what I’m asking.”

You keep your eyes on him. “Shoot.”

He takes another breath. “I don’t know how to make her happy anymore.”

This is above my pay grade.

“Everything I do seems to irritate her - trying, not trying, just surviving. I don’t know.” He shakes his head at your somewhat bewildered expression. “Sorry, I -”

“No, no, Hotch. It’s fine.” You search for his eyes. “What can I do?”

He shakes his head. “Any advice?”

Any advice? Definitely above my pay grade.

You also feel for him - he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t desperate.

Besides that, it almost makes sense he’s asking you rather than anyone else on the team. They’ve all known him too long, have been too close to see his struggles clearly. They need to see him as an authority, separate from petty squabbles.

Separate from the things that make him human.

He needs to be a superhero for this team, and then go home and be a superhero for his family. Both parts of his life exist with a wall between them - Agent Hotchner can’t be a husband and a father in the field, and Mr. Haley Hotchner can’t be an agent at home.

It must be lonely.

Everyone else knows about and ignores that necessary separation. He trusts them as his colleagues, people he can rely on professionally, but perhaps not personally.

Well, all except Emily.

You get the feeling that he doesn’t completely trust Emily yet, but you’re not sure why. That’s another thing to figure out about the walking enigma sitting across from you.

“Well… I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, but I think…” You search for words.

It’s none of my business, is what you want to say.

Instead, you offer, “Why don’t you just ask her?”

His brow crumples. “What?”

“Ask her. You don’t know how to, I dunno, do it right on your own, it sounds like. But you’re a team, right? Just ask her.”

You duck down to your work, getting the feeling he’d rather not be observed as he processes. There’s a part of you that wonders whether his preference for privacy masks his fear.

Another part of you already knows the answer.

+++

Derek and Emily walk back into the precinct, spotting the pair of you right where they left you.

Hotch still watches you with a soft, curious frown on his face, like there’s a puzzle there he can’t quite solve. You diligently work away, sticking flags and post-its on cold cases for the board.

“What’s with that?”

Emily looks up from her phone. “What’s with what?”

Derek nudges his chin toward the conference room. “That.”

Emily’s brow pinches a little. “They seem to be getting along well.” Her mouth twists. “I didn’t think he’d warm up so easily. He didn’t with me.”

“He gets like that. He’s getting better, though, ever since you called him out.”

She snorts. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think he actually listened - I barely meant it.”

“No, you didn’t.” Derek raises his eyebrows and searches for her eyes. “And he heard you.”

Emily shifts her attention back to you, her posture softening. “Oh.”

“C’mon,” Derek says, tapping her upper back with a good deal of affection. “Let’s regroup and see what we’ve got.”

+++

Aaron sits up in bed, the harsh light from the hotel table lamp illuminating the ugly wallpaper and the case files on the equally ugly bedspread.

His fingers hover restlessly over the keys as he drafts his email, warring with himself.

Does he want you on the team? Permanently? He’s already shown too much of his hand, revealed too much of himself, grew too comfortable too quickly.

He’s not sure what it is about you that forced his guard down.

You’re not the first person he’s asked about Haley, though he must admit that Gideon was next to no help. Spencer’s offered him unsolicited statistics about marital strife on three separate occasions in the past three months.

Aaron presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut.

I live in a circus.

He opens his eyes and reads over the email again.

Fuck it.

His cursor hovers over Send for just a moment before he clicks. The little whooshing sound seals his fate.

+++

You land in Arizona and Gideon’s already on edge. There’s already another crime scene by the time you get off the plane

“This one’s going to be bad, isn’t it?”

Derek sighs. “You’ve got good instincts. Stay close.”

You elect yourself Derek’s shadow at the crime scene, taking notes for him while he circles and observes the body.

Leaning close to him, you ask, “Isn’t the body positioning a sign of remorse?”

He looks over at you with a little smile. “Yeah. Good work.” He looks across the street to Hotch, speaking with the detective. “Do yourself a favor and note that to Hotch. Make sure Gideon hears you.”

+++

This time, you’re alone with Emily in the conference room, helping her pin and organize the board.

“Hey,” she says, something like hesitation in her voice.

You turn. “Yeah?”

“Did Strauss ever…” She trails off and looks over her shoulder as Hotch, Gideon, and Derek come back in from the Arizona heat. They’re on their way to the conference room.

“Did she ever what?”

Emily shakes her head and forces a smile, waving you off. “Nevermind.”

You’re not sure you get the confused look of your face before your colleagues walk through the door.

+++

“Where are they?” Hotch watches the monitor, his eyes flickering, searching for Derek and Emily.

You’re frozen, watching over his shoulder as the woman stabs the unsub, and then herself. Without knowing why, your mind wanders to that question Emily almost asked you the day before.

This isn’t good.

+++

The plane ride home is quiet, tense.

You sit next to Hotch again. There’s not much you can do, but you shoot a text to Haley.

5:42pm We’re flying back. Should be wheels down in Quantico in about four hours.

She texts back after a minute.

5:43pm Thanks.

There’s something off - you don’t like the look of that period, but you try not to read into it too much. You’re all feeling a little unsettled after that case.

Your eyes wander across the cabin.

JJ’s bottom lip is firmly planted between her teeth as she stares out the window.

Spencer’s sitting across from Gideon with a huge book in his lap, but he’s looking at Gideon more than he’s reading.

Gideon, for once, doesn’t have his journal in his hand. He, like JJ, stares out the window, his mouth pinched.

Emily’s eyes are restless, her breathing somewhat irregular. She’s picking at her nails.

“Emily.”

She looks up at you, and you tap the back of your hand with a finger. She looks down, finding her thumb and index finger close to bleeding.

“Thanks.” She looks away from you again.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the view out the window was the most captivating sight in history.

You know better. It’s just clouds.

Your phone buzzes in your hand. Jenny.

5:58pm How’s it going?

You huff a little laugh down your nose.

5:58pm Rough day.

Hotch breaks his gaze from the window. “What’s up?”

“Just Jenny. She’s checking in.”

He shakes his head and you can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Good day for it.”

6:01pm If you’re up to it, I’ll be in my office late if you want to swing by and talk about it. 6:02pm I also have booze.

You look up to find Hotch reading over your shoulder. He backs off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to -”

“No, it’s fine.”

“You should go, if she’s offering.”

You snort. “Should I be job-searching already?”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says with a little smile. “Jenny’s seen a lot. She’s a good resource.”

+++

The Navy yard is quiet as you drive across the campus. The NCIS building isn’t hard to find, but it’s still unfamiliar territory.

When you park and get cleared for access and up the elevator, most of the lights are off on the Major Case Response floor. There are still agents present, working under the warm light of their desk lamps.

A team of four takes up the middle of the bullpen, but they barely look up as you pass them and climb the stairs.

Cynthia isn’t at her desk - gone for the night - and Jenny’s office door is open. She also has her overhead lights turned off, giving her office a cozy, lived-in feel.

“Hey, you,” she says, looking up with a little smile. “Just got the scuttlebutt on that Arizona case. Definitely not ideal, I hear.”

You shake your head, collapsing into a chair on the other side of her desk. “Not ideal is a good way to put it.”

She stands and crosses the office, pouring two small glasses of some amber liquid you know is gonna burn like hell.

You take what she offers and hold in both of your hands, not really interested in drinking it, and follow her to the couch.

“What happened?”

You heave a breath. “Got the call - three murders already. Clearly a preferential offender. All the women were students, brunette, similar features. We already had another crime scene by the time we landed. We used the profile, got the guy.”

Jenny’s brow pinches. “Then?”

“Copycat. Even came with a note exonerating the suspect we had in custody. We had to let him go without a lead on the second suspect.”

She sighs and takes a sip of her bourbon. “Been there.”

“We were surveilling him, waiting for him to do something stupid - we knew he would. The copycat confronted him… She was suicidal. Stabbed him, then herself. We were too late.”

“Oh, my God.”

You level her with an exhausted look. “Yeah.”

“How’s your team?”

“Tired, mostly.” You offer a humorless laugh. “Maybe in a more existential way than a physical way, not that any of us have slept…”

The two of you chat into the early hours of the morning. She’s had more than one day like this, in more than one country.

“It’s days like this that make you question whether you’ve chosen the right line of work.” She looks over at a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower, resting on her bookshelf. “But the good days…”

“They make it worth it, don’t they?”

The corner of her mouth tips up in a smile. “Yeah. They do.”

+++

You find a text from Haley when you get back into the car, not realizing you left it in the center console cup holder.

10:38pm Thanks for getting him home safe. Get some sleep.

+++

When you come in the next morning almost embarrassingly late, Gideon’s office is still dark.

You’re not even really sure you should be here in the first place, what with the major fuckup hanging over everyone’s heads. The last thing you want to do is go home to your room, back to those four tiny walls and textbooks, even after everything. The bullpen, this team, has become your safety net.

They should all be here, but there’s only one absence striking you as particularly odd. “Where’s Gideon?”

Spencer shrugs, spinning half-circles in his desk chair. He looks despondent, staring at the carpet. You don’t see Emily or Derek, but you assume they’re somewhere.

Weird.

You set your things down and head up the stairs, knocking twice on Hotch’s door.

“Yeah?” He looks up and sees you, relaxing a little.

You take a little breath. “Should I be here today?”

“Do you want to be here today?” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite place. It almost sounds like insecurity, like he’s worried he’s scared you off.

Far from it.

“I do, sir. I want to be here.” You think of Jenny, and hope he can hear more than you can say. “It’s worth it.”

You think maybe you’re figuring him out a little more. He smiles more often than you’d think, but you have to know what it looks like. This look - the softening of his eyes and the corners of his mouth, the slight crease at the corners of his eye, the threat of a dimple - is just as big a smile for him as Morgan’s human-sunshine smile.

“Then stick around. I’ll have you work on some mock consults with Reid and Prentiss - you’ll be doing a lot of those in the next few months until you’re ready to take them on by yourself.”

“I’ll go pick them up from JJ. They’re in her office, right?”

He nods and you turn to leave, but you’re stopped by the sound of your name before you can get through the door. “Yeah?”

“You’ve performed remarkably well, no matter what happens after this.”

The side of your mouth twists. “Thank you, sir.”

+++

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swanlake1998 · 3 years

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Article: For transgender dancers, progress can't come fast enough

Date: March 8, 2020

By: Avichai Scher

Sean Dorsey was tired of being the only transgender dancer in the room. So he took the bold step of starting his own company, the San Francisco-based Sean Dorsey Dance, and become the first openly trans director of a full-time dance company. It was a milestone for transgender and gender-nonconforming dancers and choreographers, and Dorsey hoped it would lead to a more inclusive dance world.

The company is celebrating its 15th anniversary this year, yet Dorsey remains the only openly trans artistic director of a full-time dance company in the country.

“We’ve definitely made progress since I started, when there was really no context for institutional or social support of trans dancers,” Dorsey said. “But there’s still a major lack of representation across the dance world.”

Dance, especially older forms such as ballet and modern dance, is mostly structured around strict gender lines. While the growing acceptance of transgender people in the United States has extended somewhat into the art form, trans dancers are often forced to choose between being their authentic selves and career opportunities.

Issues start in training

Dorsey’s choreography often deals with trans issues, and he is committed to being an advocate in the dance world for transgender people. But even in his own company, Dorsey is the only trans performer.

“In San Francisco, at least, I don’t have the luxury of holding an audition for trans dancers,” he said. “There just aren’t very many at the professional level.”

Dorsey said this is largely because barriers for trans and gender-nonconforming dancers start at a young age — as most training programs are gender-specific.

Jayna Ledford, 19, made headlines when she came out as transgender in an Instagram post in 2018. She was studying at the Kirov Ballet Academy at the time, a traditional ballet program in Washington, D.C. It was the first time a dancer at an acclaimed ballet school had publicly come out as trans.

Classes at Kirov, like most ballet conservatories, are generally separated by sex assigned at birth, and when students are combined, teachers offer different steps for men and women. Ledford, however, found ways to get the training that matched her gender identity, including dancing on her toes in special pointe shoes, which is done almost exclusively by women and requires unique training.

“I wanted to do what the females were doing,” she said. “I’d do it on the side and not pay attention to what the guys were doing. I’d also stay after class and practice pointe technique with my female friends.”

She hadn’t had the training other females at the school had, but she was hoping to transfer from the men’s program to the women’s.

“I knew I had a lot of catching up to do in terms of pointe work,” she said. “But just being in the room with the females, that’s what I wanted.”

The Kirov Academy told Ledford she could not join the women’s program unless she physically transitioned. Ledford was not ready for that, so she left the school. She was disappointed but now says she understands the academy’s position. The school confirmed Ledford��s account but declined to comment.

Maxfield Haynes, 22, who is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, said the large, prestigious ballet school where they trained was not supportive of someone presenting as male wearing pointe shoes.

It wasn’t until Haynes enrolled at Tisch School of the Arts at New York University that they were able to explore the more feminine aspects of ballet technique. Ledford also found higher education to be more supportive than a conservatory. She now studies at Montclair State University and practices pointe technique daily.

Lack of professional opportunities

After NYU, Haynes chose to dance with Complexions Contemporary Ballet partially because the company is explicitly supportive of gender fluidity, and even had a specific role for Haynes that is gender-nonconforming. In the David Bowie tribute piece, “Stardust,” Haynes dons pointe shoes and was partnered with male dancers.

“It was everything I could have dreamed of,” Haynes said of the role. “As nonbinary, I like to get to show all aspects of gender. I don’t think about dancing like a man or a woman, just myself.”

Opportunities to dance roles that are gender-nonconforming are rare in the concert dance world, even if dancers are becoming more open about being gender-nonconforming in their offstage lives. And those who want to physically transition face a stark choice, as none of the major dance companies in the U.S. currently have openly transgender dancers on their rosters.

Alby Sabrina Pretto recently made the difficult choice to begin physically transitioning with hormone replacement therapy at the expense of her performing career. She was a dancer with Les Ballet Trockadero de Monte Carlo, an all-male comedy troupe, for eight years. While she got to dance in pointe shoes, the style of the company is rooted in the comedy of men portraying women, which ultimately wasn’t how Pretto identified.

“There were moments I wanted to do things like a ballerina would and be ethereal and pretty,” Pretto said. “To dance like a woman.”

She knew that physically transitioning would mean she could not continue with the company.

“I wanted to have a career, and that slowed down my decision to transition,” Pretto said. “I waited until I felt like I had done what I wanted to do there.”

Liz Harler, general manager of Les Ballet Trockadero, said in a statement that transitioning does not disqualify dancers from the company.

“Dancers who expressed interest in transitioning to female have been told that their job would not be in jeopardy, though none have chosen to do so while continuing with the Trocks’ rigorous dancing and touring schedule,” Harler said.

Both Ledford and Pretto hope for the day when they can attend an audition and be hired without having to explain their gender identity.

Ledford said. “I’ll audition as any other woman. If I get in, then I’ll sit down and talk with them.”

Ledford is “optimistic” that this can happen in the next few years, but Pretto isn’t so sure.

“I am not naive, I know I cannot just audition for a major ballet company and join the female corps de ballet,” Pretto said. “But I would love for that to happen for me. It’s the ultimate dream.”

Her skepticism is partly based on the experience of her former Trockadero colleague, Chase Johnsey, who is gender fluid. He made headlines in 2018 when he was cast in a female ensemble role in the English National Ballet’s production of “Sleeping Beauty,” though it was not on pointe, and the heavy costume concealed his body. No additional female roles came his way afterward.

The question of who gets opportunities as a dancer often comes down to the taste of directors and producers and what they imagine their audiences want to see, not just ability.

Pretto danced a couple of character roles recently with Eglevsky Ballet, a growing ballet ensemble on Long Island, New York. The director, Maurice Brandon Curry, said he would consider Pretto for a female ensemble role next year, because her pointe work is “excellent,” though he wonders how some in the audience will react.

“Casting Alby in a female role would not be about passing as female, but I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge my concern about an audience member who was offended,” Curry said. “But art is not prejudice; it’s about inclusivity and open minds. If someone is not willing to have that experience, they don’t have a legitimate place in our audiences.”

Signs of change

Dorsey said that even having discussions about gender identity in dance is progress from when he started, and he’s encouraged by changes he’s seen: Most theaters either already have gender-neutral restrooms or create them for his company’s visit; trans and gender-nonconforming students attend his workshops in various cities and share with him their efforts to be accepted in their dance communities; the San Francisco Ballet persuaded him to lead a training session on gender identity in dance; and he was on the cover of Dance Magazine.

Ledford was recently a “Gaynor Girl,” a spokesperson for the popular pointe shoe brand Gaynor Minded. Pretto said she worked up the courage to use the ladies' locker room at one of New York’s busiest studios, Steps on Broadway, and no one seemed to mind.

Still, the art form has not yet caught up to reflect the audience, Dorsey said. His company has worked in over 30 cities in the U.S. and abroad, and he is usually the first trans choreographer a theater has presented. But he said the response from audiences is almost always positive.

“Dance audiences are ready and hungry for trans voices,” he said. “It's our dance institutions that are still catching up.”

#article #ballet #an article from last year but still important #sean dorsey #jayna ledford #maxfield haynes #alby sabrina pretto

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lastsonlost · 4 years

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Many of the women promoting the “cancellation” of men in comics, and demanding they post the recent empty promise known as #ComicsPledge, are in fact hypocrites. In this article, I’m going to present evidence of lies, collusion, rumor spreading, and, in my opinion, defamation and contract interference.

I personally know that they’ve colluded for YEARS to take down men. Specifically those with conservative politics and philosophies. This is an ongoing, coordinated effort. How do I know this?

Because I obtained access to their PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP.

This is Part 1 of the #Hypocralypse leaks

There is simply too much to put in one leak, so I will make the following three points for now.

1. The so-called Comic Book Whisper Network, which has been dismissed as conspiracy since 2016, is real, and I have hundreds of screenshots to prove it.

2. The Whisper Network has been targeting men and trying to destroy their careers, and use their connections in the comic book media to do so.

3. Whisper Network members have acted unprofessionally and unethically at best. At worst, they have engaged in what I believe could be illegal behavior.

MY STORY

I first heard about the Whisper Network back in mid-2016 from folks I knew at Image, DC, Marvel, and later, Valiant. Depending on who I chatted with, sometimes the group was called ‘The Women’s Network’, other times ‘The Whisper Network’, occasionally ‘The Whisper Campaign’, and eventually there were more conspiratorial names used mockingly (a friend called them a gender-swapped 4Chan, which became ‘FemChan’ to some insiders).

Regardless of the name, it was all the same group.

The same five or six names kept popping up in conversation over and again. As time ticked on, I noticed a trend on Social Media: half a decade of rumors, false allegations, cancellation attempts , and they almost always traced back to these same five or six people. The goal of this Whisper Network, according to industry folks, was simple: choose a target, smear them until they lose their reputation, their income, and are ultimately blacklisted – opening up job opportunities for the same people who started these smear campaigns in the first place.

Behind the scenes these “cancellations” are painted as morally or politically motivated, but in the end it’s all financial. As time passed, the group in question seemed more and more like a reality. I saw their influence. I saw things I knew to be verifiably untrue go viral online, appearing in what I thought were legit news sources. I felt angry and helpless seeing innocent people getting attacked, but did not know what to do.

A few years passed and by 2018 almost everyone I interacted with in the industry seemed to know about the Network, from top level editors right down to the letterers. It was an open secret, but no one was willing to speak up for fear of being targeted themselves. They knew the consequences.

And after all, this was a secret network. Without proof, there was no point in going public because members would just deny its existence, and use their media connections to smear anyone who challenged them.

THEN THINGS GOT INTERESTING

December 16, 2018, Whisper Network member Gail Simone, who joined the Network 6 years ago (4 years before the following tweet was posted), mocks “doofuses” who speculate that a “whisper campaign” exists.

At this point in late 2018, I was still skeptical of the Whisper Network’s existence. I’d heard many stories of individuals spreading rumors and lies, and plenty of malicious behavior was going on behind closed doors. Though I wasn’t ready to believe it was a coordinated effort, or collusion was involved. Then, certain people began openly mentioning the Whisper Network and my attitude changed.

March 26, 2019, Heather Antos, a member herself, did not outright mention the Whisper Network or her involvement, but she made what some took as a veiled threat to those who got on her bad side.

Heather “milkshake girl” Antos’ colorful backstory at Marvel, and later at Valiant, is notorious in the comic industry. A conversation about office rumor-spreading and bullying is never complete without someone bringing up a juicy Antos anecdote. Everyone has one.

Up until then, I still hadn’t seen ACTUAL PROOF of a larger scheme. But then, something changed in 2020.

January 8, 2020, Alex de Campi, who I would discover is one of the most active Whisper Network members, openly admits there is a Network. I have no idea if this was a slip or a brazen attempt to show off her power and influence, but this appeared.

Eventually, everything I had heard and read was confirmed beyond any shadow of a doubt after I gained access to their private Facebook group.

I WAS INSIDE THE WHISPER NETWORK!

This is the place where the Whispher Network has been colluding for years. And although their activity is not confined to just this site, from what I can tell, this was where they first met, and started their coordinated campaigns.

Members of the Secret Group called “Comic Book Women”

At present time, there are 440+ members of the secret Facebook group, called COMIC BOOK WOMEN. From what I can tell, a few are regular users, though many of them have never posted.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/comicbookwomen/

*unless you are a member, this will not show up in a search

Secret Facebook groups offer the same level of privacy as closed groups, but operate under a cloak of invisibility. No one can search for secret groups or even request to join them. The only way to get in one is to know someone who can invite you. Everything shared in a secret group is visible only to its members.

This secret group includes a list of members whose actions and connections speak for themselves. Members such as:

Zoe Quinn

Gail Simone

Alex de Campi

Heather Antos (aka Heather Marie)

Mags Visaggio (aka Magdalene Francis)

Mairghread Scott

And several key members of the group are women who work in the comics media and can be used to run damage control, including women like Heidi MacDonald of Comics Beat. They have contacts outside of the secret network as well, with some male allies in both comics and the media.

Just the fact that all of these folks were secretly linked in a private network came as a shock to me, considering their reputations and the accusations that they’ve made. Immediately I began to connect the dots…

They’ve denied for YEARS that they coordinate their actions in private. And yet they always coincidentally appear on Twitter, retweeting and amplifying each other’s accusations, signal boosting one another, and helping them gain traction. And their allies in media – Bleeding Cool and CBR specifically – will turn those same tweets into stories almost instantly & with no fact-checking or verification, sometimes within the hour.

I’m going to start explaining who the key actors are, and, from my perspective, how they coordinate these attacks.

KEY ACTORS

There are too many people to focus on at once, so I will have to break this into several posts, but I will start with one of the clear group leaders IMO.

Alex de Campi is well connected, despite never being part of the Big Two (since, from what I’ve been told management is well aware of her bullying, harassment, rumor-spreading and unethical behavior that goes back years, and depending on who you talk to she’s almost as notorious as Antos or Tess Fowler). She just wrapped up a graphic novel campaign on Kickstarter with David Bowie’s son, the Hollywood film director Duncan Jones. It grossed over $366K

All the while she makes baseless accusations while demanding transparency from everyone else.

Now, I’ll take you into their private network.

Two years ago, on May 13, 2018, De Campi launched a private campaign to target an independent creator, claiming she was using her connections to have Simon & Schuster cancel their book.

In addition to contacting the publisher, others in the Whisper Network coordinated their efforts to contact media outlets to have the narrative changed, according to the posts in this thread. Again, in my opinion, this could end up as a defamation or tortious interference case, and has many implications regarding media bias as well.

The following month, on June 23, 2018, de Campi posted private text messages between herself and writer Max Bemis in what appeared to be an attempt to damage his career. Despite Bemis being mentally ill (diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2014), de Campi still posted the private messages with malicious intent IMO. According to US and UK law this is an actionable offense: posting private texts without both parties consenting.

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

Text

An Ode To Miyazaki:

Hi everyone! So for my final paper for film, we had to pick our own director of our choosing and talk about them extensively between the attributes that make them special. Our course focused on the narrative and technical styles of directors. For my final project, I have chosen my biggest hero in the world of animation and somebody that drastically changed my life as a young child, Hayao Miyazaki. Learning about him for this project gave me so much insight into not just his films but who he is as a person. I hope that my paper is as interesting for you to read as it was for me to do research for!

1. Hayao Miyazaki, often referred to as the Japanese Walt Disney is the front runner of his animation studio Studio Ghibli. I picked him because I already have sufficient knowledge and love of his films. One of the first memories that my parents love to remind me of is my first time watching Totoro and laughing at the introduction characters. Miyazaki himself stands out for a number of reasons. Over the years, Miyazaki has made a humongous name out of himself, one of his most famous movies Spirited Away became the most popular film to ever be released in Japan and also won the academy award for the best-animated film that year. His most “popular” films (I say popular in air quotes because it is nearly impossible for people to agree on a favorite) remain the aforementioned Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke. Beginning his career as a simple animator for Toei animation, he worked as an in-between artist. It was here that he met his future collaborator at Ghibli, Isao Takahata. His first big directorial debut in film before founding Ghibli was a team effort without Takahata was Lupin The Third, The Castle Of Cagliostro. His first successful movie was one that was based upon his own manga Nausicaa of the Valley Of The Wind. The first official Miyazaki movie that was made with Ghibli was one of my personal all-time favorites that had ever been created, Castle In The Sky. For many children, especially ones with parents who are lovers of a film like mine, Miyazaki was one of the first animators that I was introduced to. His films have become classics for every fan of animation, being referenced in culture, specifically back when Disney owned Studio in Toy Story 3, Bonnie has a Totoro.

2. So, this brings up the question, how does one recognize a film by Miyazaki? You can always expect for him to be critically acclaimed, for there to be some element of magic and whimsy in the way that he animates, for there to be something to do with flight (whether it be dealing with airplanes like in Porco Rosso, the idea of flight in Howl’s Moving Castle, or a floating castle up in the sky in Castle In The Sky.), his heroines are always strong-minded and live by their own rules never bowing down to anybody, his love stories are dynamic and fulfilled, a sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, and they have a meaning about nature somewhere, mostly about why it needs to be protected.

Let’s start by breaking him down narratively. The thing that is always in every Miyazaki film no matter which one you decide upon watching, is that his female characters are always strong-willed no matter what. In many ways, I think that he writes women better than Disney does. He has gone on record saying “Many of my movies have strong female leads—brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” Sometimes, this will cause them to come across as reckless, or stupid, but in my opinion, I have always looked up to his female characters and the way that they are portrayed. My personal favorite female character that he has ever brought to life through the screen is Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle. She is strong-minded, not willing to put up with any of Howl’s dramatics, kind, an incredible adult figure for Markal, endlessly sympathetic to her friend’s plights (namely Howl and Calcifer), and somebody that I can always look up to. I spent most of my childhood looking up to characters like Kiki in Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chihiro in Spirited Away, or one of my personal favorite underrated girls, Fio in Porco Rosso. All of these female characters are independent and never let themselves be taken advantage of by anybody.

Another trait that can always be found narratively in his films is that Miyazaki is an airplane/ air travel fanatic. He absolutely loves airplanes, even to the point where his latest film, The Wind Rises was based upon the life of one of the first airplane manufacturers in WWII. Almost all of his films will involve something about flying in the air. Even with the ones that he didn’t direct and he just simply wrote. His obsession with flight is something that stemmed from his childhood and he never saw them as a thing to be used for war “airplanes are not tools for war. They are not for making money. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Engineers turn dreams into reality.” My personal favorite of all of his flight animation is used in Howl’s Moving Castle when Howl and Sophie “fly” over the heads of all the people below them.

Narratively also one of the biggest things that set apart his films from any others is his focus on nature. The idea of protecting the beauty of nature is something that he has always stood by. A lot of the time, America tries to prove that it can make films about nature as well to usually varying results. I think that nobody can sell an environmental message quite like my biggest hero for Japanese animation. One of the main movies that focus on his will to protect nature above all else is Princess Mononoke. He always manages to animate nature in such a beautiful and majestic way no matter where the film is set.

I also think that a narrative trait of his that often gets overlooked is how beautiful the romance in his films can be. He never has a romance between two characters that feels stale or boring. I love the fact that you can pick any number of his films and the chance of there being a romance that you’ll get sucked into is a very large one. Everybody has their personal favorites, I love Howl and Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle but my best friend loves Sousuke and Ponyo from Ponyo. He has on record saying that “I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” Writing romance between two characters can be a very tricky thing which is why it’s always amazing when he can continually pull it off despite everything and how many films that he has made over the years. The beauty of having both a strong and independent male and the female character is that they can both lean on one another for love and support. Probably the biggest supporter of this is Whisper Of The Heart, a film that he wrote instead of directing. The romance is what makes up the entire film. It’s a beautiful love story about how two young teenagers fall in love with each other. The romance is something that continually keeps me coming back for more every time.

Technical style Miyazaki can always be assured to deliver breathtakingly stunning animation. There is a reason why so many people leave his films starving because the food that he draws always looks so good. For me though, it’s the backgrounds that stand out above all else. It’s nearly impossible to have one favorite shot in one of his films but I as a matter of fact do have one. The most breathtaking animation in any Miyazaki film is the scene where Howl takes Sophie to see his secret garden. Everything about this scene never fails to make my breath catch. It’s such a profoundly beautiful moment and how it is animated is something that I haven’t forgotten since my first initial viewing of the film when I was seven.

Another iconic technical trait is that Disney did a fantastic job dubbing the films from their original Japanese language into English. Back when Ghibli films first started to become popular, they needed a way for an American audience to see them. So Pixar’s CFO at the time, John Lassater made a deal with Ghibli that they would dub all the films from their original language for a brand new audience. Growing up, this was how I watched all of Miyazaki’s films. I fell in love with the way that they sounded in English. To this very day, I have yet to see one of his films in any other language. I don’t think that anybody could have dubbed them better. Ever since Ghibli and Disney went their separate ways and they went to GKids the dubs haven’t been the same.

Finally, the last technical trait is that a Miyazaki film will always have a score done by his longtime collaborator Joe Hizashi. The score is such a big part of what makes Miyazaki’s films his own. They are what get you sucked in through their whimsical and magical tones; they always fit the vibes that he’s going through at that moment. There is also the element of sound. Every Miyazaki film has a distinct sound effect that will set it apart from the one before it.

3. The first film that I want to look at is my personal favorite of all his films that he has made so far if you were to force me to pick just one Howl’s Moving Castle. Released in 2004, it was the 9th film that the director came out with. It has an 8.2 out of 10 on IMDB and an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes. The storyline for the movie follows a young woman named Sophie. She gets a curse set upon her by the Witch of the Waste and when she leaves home she finds the infamous Howl’s Moving Castle. This is the second Ghibli movie voiced by a Batman live action actor. Christian Bale voiced Howl Pendragon after Michael Keaton played the titular Porco Rosso.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. From how strong of a female character Sophie is I spent most of my childhood looking up to her as a character. Strong female characters are everywhere in his films and in my opinion, Sophie is one of the strongest. Another strong factor is that flight plays a major part in this film. One of Howl’s main powers is that he has the ability to fly around. This leads to my favorite scene of flight in any Miyazaki film when Howl takes Sophie’s hand and they “fly” over the tops of the city down below them. All of his early films up until the last few were set in someplace other than Japan. This one is set in Europe, and he takes a lot of time while in the cities to show off all the different types of buildings while Sophie tours around the city.

Technically speaking this is also a Miyazaki film and holds all the titular traits of being so. The animation is utterly for lack of a better word, magical and spellbinding. It takes my breath away every time that I rewatch it. The food looks incredible, one scene that most of Miyazaki’s fans always think of when this movie is brought up is Calcifer making the food for Howl, Sophie, and Markal to eat. The dub for this film is also one of Disney’s best dubs for Miyazaki films. It even brings actors to the table that I usually would not like to see in other films like Christian Bale. I haven’t loved him in any other films than this one. Billy Crystal is a stand-out as well as my favorite fire demon Calcifer. The score is done by Joe Hizashi as well. My favorite part of the score is the main theme which has Howl and Sophie floating above the people below. The sound effect that follows throughout this film is the steady creaking of the castle itself.

Princess Mononoke was the first time that Miyazaki ever “retired”. Most of the time, whenever he tries to retire, he always comes back. A lot of his colleague's joke that it’s because he physically can’t stop working. He animated most of this movie by himself. Before Spirited Away it was Japan’s most famous film to date. The story about a young man who is just trying to erase the curse that was set upon him by an angry boar and it leads him to a place called Iron Town is something that never fails to amaze me. While in Iron Town, Ashitaka meets a young woman named San who was taken in by wolves and he finds himself caught between a war involving humans and the gods of the forest.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. It has a strong female lead, focusing most of its screen time on how important it is to protect and preserve nature as a whole. The idea of protecting nature is such a moving part of the film, as we see what it does when man takes over the forest. We see how distraught it makes the Gods of this world and how they wish that the humans would just go away. However, you also see it from the point of view of the villain of the film Lady Eboshi, who also regularly helps lepers and people who would often never get work outside of her offering them a home and a family. I have regularly gotten into a debate with my mom over which side is “right” and which side “wrong” over the course of the last few years of me being a massive fan of this movie. She takes the side of the forest while I see Ashitaka’s side that everybody should just get along and interact in peace and harmony. Miyazaki never shoves the idea of nature down your throat. That is not what this film is. It’s instead about the beauty of what we have and learning to appreciate it.

On a technical level, this film is fantastic as well. It blows my mind that Miyazaki-san animated most of it all by himself. The backgrounds are sweeping and utterly gorgeous showing off the time period of the film. The fight sequences which make up the bulk of the film’s running time are engaging, thrilling, and fabulously animated. Mononoke’s score was done by Joe Hizashi as well. Its score is beautiful and I always find myself getting sucked into it, especially for the more dynamic scenes with Ashitaka and San. The sound effect for this film uses nature as a backdrop for brutality. Ashitaka’s arrows don’t just come out of his bow, they screech through the air.

Finally, my last film that we will be focusing on, Kiki’s Delivery Service was made in 1989 a year after his cult phenomena My Neighbor Totoro and was his fifth animated feature. Kiki is a young girl that is hoping to become a young witch in training. However, to do so she has to train a year away from home. She and her cat Jiji find a town by the sea where she learns her true strength and what she can really do to help others. Hayao Miyazaki didn't want to bore the audience during the film's end credits by using just the names. He set it up to be like a mini-sequel so that the audience would leave the theatre feeling happy.

Narratively this has all the traits that one should be familiar with and associate with a Miyazaki film. It has a strong-minded female character at the source of it that young girls can look up to and admire. As a kid, Kiki was my favorite female character of his because I loved her strength and her dedication to what she was good at. She knew that she was still young and had a lot to learn but even though she gets depressed she doesn’t let that stop her in the long run and will still save her love interest Tombo. The romance in this film is by far one of the sweetest. I love the interactions between the characters and the way that they both inspire one another to be better than they are. The idea of flight is basically the focal point of everything. Kiki finds that her best trait is that she flies incredibly well and decides to create her own flying delivery service.

Technically this also has a lot of traits that Miyazaki made a name for himself in doing. The animation is spectacular, especially for Kiki’s flying. I could watch her fly around all day and that was the idea that he was going for while making the film. The sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, especially in my favorite song A Town With An Ocean View, is something that I’ll often listen to outside of the film itself. The sound effects for the film are meant to be calming. From the first sound that you hear of the wind rolling through the reeds while Kiki lies against the grass to the waves when she finally finds a home.

4. Miyazaki as a director has inspired me since I was way too young to even remember. When I was a kid I would pretend to run around my apartment building's front yard imagining that I lived in a big house in front of a camper tree like the one in Totoro. His movies are perfect for children that “suffer” from having an overactive imagination. His movies are everything that is bright and beautiful in the world. The animation never fails to take my breath away, the characters and stories are unforgettable, the soundtracks sweep me away and tell stories themselves. His movies are something that even my parents, who are not anime fans, can watch over and over again. I think that speaks for itself. Miyazaki makes films that are art, not just animated films.

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swiss-cheeze · 4 years

Text

Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner || ‘I love you’ ‘then perish’

REQUESTED: YES/NO

Gender: uh, they/them but there are mentions of the reader having their own kids; obviously there are single fathers so the reader 100% can be male or female or simply NB if that's what you prefer.

Warnings: child abductions/killings, normal CM crime talk, talk of trauma/abuse/drugs/drug abuse/the stuff Spencer has gone through, dismissal of trauma.

-------

Aaron Hotchner

10 children had been abducted, in less than 48 hours. We all know the statistics, which is why you didn't exactly understand why the hell you were still allowing children to go to school and out to the park. You brought it up to Hotch.

“Why is it exactly that we’re still allowing children to go out?” you questioned with crossed arms, the team looked at you skeptically but stayed silent.

“Because it’ll draw out our abductor that we can apprehend,” Hotch said, staring at the victim board. Every single photo was of a child or a family with children, this abductor didn't leave any trace evidence except for a handwritten note from the child saying how much they hated their home life, it had gone through forensic for prints and to make sure the writing was in fact done by a child; it was, each and every one of those letters was written by the kids.

“Why don't we lay low, say the FBI aren't doing their best, it'll drag the unsub out, or keep the kids home! He’ll get bored an-”

“And skip town for more children and probably leave the others behind to die (L/n)” Hotch cut in with a stern look, “I understand you have children of your own but-”

“Hotch this has nothing to do with that!” you exclaimed, the team is now filtering out of the door, “it has to do with the fact we’re trying to do our jobs the best and this isn't the best! The mayor and council are on our asses about everything and we’re still allowing more children to be taken!” you threw your arms around in an effort for Hotch to see what you’re saying, but he refused.

“(L/n) this conversation is now over,” the unit chief said harshly, “we are doing our best and our best is-”

“Agent Hotchner?” a voice called, an officer had walked into the room without realising, “more children have been kidnapped,” the officer handed you the evidence bag, or bags you should say, “four notes, four kids, but there’s um,” the officer took a breath and cleared his throat, “a body has just been discovered and the chief thinks its Ashley Leif,” and with that the officer left. You sighed as you looked down at the letters, feeling the weights in your hands, the tears, the markings, the- hold on. It's signed. You cocked an eyebrow as you placed the bag on the table.

“What is it (L/n)?” Hotch called, you didn't answer and instead took the evidence bags with you to the front of the building where the rest of your team stood waiting. Hotch could see you handing the letters to Reid, obviously to read through faster and determine if it was in fact written by a child, as your mouth moved at a million miles an hour, a lot of the team nodding along with you and talking. It felt cold without you in the room with Hotch. Maybe he should take your advice.

-------

Five kids dead, 8 still missing. Four days. You walked out of one of the offices as the wails of a child-less couple followed before you closed the door, the officers seemed to give you sympathetic looks as you stormed into the conference room yourself and the team were in.

“We have nothing,” you exclaimed as you slammed the door, causing J.J. and Emily to jump at your sudden outburst, “we have notes, we have a signed piece of paper that isn't a child name in the database for this town-” you flopped into one of the seats with your head in your hand as Emily came up and rubbed your shoulders.

“We’ll find him (Y/n)” the woman said softly, you didn't say anything as she left and the room went quiet again.

“How is he even getting these kids huh?” you asked, “they just suddenly up and leave in the middle of the...night…” it took you a second before you glanced at the crime scene photos of the child's bedroom; undisturbed. The team caught on as you quickly moved to the board and examined every photo, taking them all down and laying them out on the table in front of you as the team curled behind you.

“What is it (L/n)?” Rossi asked.

“It’s all undisturbed,” you muttered softly, you could feel the breath of your teammates against the back of your neck, “what...what if these kids aren't being taken?” you questioned, “what if they go out at the time, say a family dinner with a friend, they go home and that friend asks to stay the night, they take the kid and then-”

“The crime scene is undisturbed because the kids trust who it is; ‘come help me outside for a moment’ and they go” J.J. finished for you, you grinned as you phoned Garcia.

“Ready and waiting!” Garcia's voice came through the speakers, her fingers poised.

“Are there any friends from every family? People that overlap that are maybe mentioned in social media of most if not all the families?” you asked.

“Family friend, me likey” Garcia said happily as she started typing, “uhh, we have one; Emelia June, friends of all the families and- oh no” Garcia softened her voice.

“What? Garcia what is it?” you asked quickly.

“She's a director for a class the kids all went to for arts and crafts” Garcia said quickly, “her class roll is sent to your phones and tablets now!”

“Address Garcia?” you asked quickly as the team started putting on their vests, you included.

“Work and Address on your phones now, go get her my babies!”

“Rossi, Spencer, Emily go to the work address, the rest of us will go to her home and go from there, Emelia is dangerous and is most likely holding those kids in a separate location,” you said as Emily and Hotch started rounding up some officers and the rest of you ran to the cars.

------

Emelia was caught but had to be interrogated in order to find the kids, luckily they were all unharmed and had food and water, she was sentenced 25 to life.

“(Y/n), can i see you in my office please?” Hotch called as you started packing up your files to finish at home. You gave a slight side eye to your friends before wrapping your bag around yourself and walking to the office in question.

“Did i do something wrong?” you asked monotone as Hotch waited behind his desk.

“You took ahold of the investigation when apprehending Emelia,” Hotch said, “that isnt your job-”

“Neither was yours to let those fucking kids die” you said quickly as your arms crossed over your chest. Hotch sighed.

“I understand this is hard for the both of us with our relationship both work and romance but you need to trust me (Y/n)” Hotch sighed, this only made you angrier, “i know you find it hard to trust others and to be trusted but for this to work you have to understand i know what i'm doing and what i'm doing, including my job, is right” by now you where fuming, “i know this case was hard especially with you having kids of your own-”

“Fuck you,” you cut Hotch off, him looking at you surprised, “i have kids, you have a kid too Hotch. You had a wife and when you came to me seeking some sort of love and affection i was happy to give it to you when you needed it, i loved those dates, i loved everything but really? I'm getting too personal with that case because I care about young lives?” you asked with a scoff, “im sorry but if thats a problem for you then we have a pretty big fucking problem here” you motioned between yourself and Hotch on ‘here’.

“(Y/n)-”

“No, dont ‘(Y/n)’ me,” you said with a laugh, “you do this all the time! You dont allow me to do my own job-”

“Let me explain-” Hotch started once again, but you stopped him by walking out of the office.

“My resignation letters went in three weeks ago for Crimes Against Children, i go next week, i'll say goodbye to the team tomorrow” you said walking down the stairs and past your teammates who heard everything.

“You're leaving?” Derek asked, you could hear him but you didn't acknowledge him and kept walking, Hotch walked slightly faster and grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him.

“I love you (Y/n)” his voice was low and wavering, it was full of emotions but you couldn't care less.

“Then perish” you said finally, and with that.

It was all over.

You yanked your arm from Hotch, turned, and walked off without looking back.

Spencer Reid

Spencer was sick of it, he really was. He loved you, of course he did, but there was always something about you that just didn't sit right with him; you weren't too clingy, you weren't too protective, you were perfect. But you didn't believe he had all the trauma he constantly said he had. You jump scared him and of course his fist almost comes in contact with your nose, you scream his name and he comes in with his gun held just to see a photo of a dog, you always dismiss his trauma at the worst of times.

Anniversary of his abduction and drugging? ‘Lol no that doesn't happen to people like you, even back then’.

Anniversary of Maeve's death? ‘So you love a dead girl more than you do me? Oh thats rich Spence, thanks’ and youd walk out of the apartment and wait for SPENCER, to send a fucking apology.

Whenever he talks about his mum or her mental state? ‘Spencer you won't inherit whatever it is that she has, skitzy whatever’ you say with a laugh.

The team could see how much Spencer hated it, he was always on edge of everything. What he hated the most was when you decided to surprise him at work, everyone could then see how uncomfortable he was with you next to him, not how a couple was supposed to work.

So, he messaged you, asked for a chat over coffee. And here you are at the first coffee shop you both met, you giggling at a little baby blowing spit bubbles.

“(Y/n), can we focus on why i brought us here?” Spencer asked softly, he was trying, and hoping to some god that you would try as well.

“Yeah in a sec Spence,” you cooed at the little baby again.

“(Y/n) please,” Spencer was now desperate.

“Okay okay, Jesus Christ I can't do anything without you breathing down my neck can i?” you asked annoyed as you sat in your chair properly rather than directing your full body to the baby.

“Me? Breathing down your neck?” Spencer asked suddenly.

“Duh, you always do, i can't go anywhere or do anything without you there to ask every question in the book-”

“No (Y/n) that person is you,” Spencer cut you off angrily.

“Don't cut me off, Spencie” you reminded the boy, that was the last straw. Spencer slammed his hand on the table in rage causing a few people around to jump and stare, not good.

“No, you listen to me (Y/n)” Spencer started, “don't you dare call me that. Don't ever call me Spencie, you know why?”

“Because some girl from prison called you that” you mocked as you took a sip of your drink.

“Exactly, wanna know why i don't like people calling me that?” you shrugged, “it's called PTSD (Y/n), or PTSS. It’s real. That abduction I went through? That fucking happened, i was taken for two days and was drugged and tortured,” you sighed.

“Spence you know how i feel about that-”

“Yeah? And have you ever thought about what i feel? Huh? Ever think why I get so jumpy around you? Because i'm a federal fucking agent, i see worse shit than you could ever dream. And forgive me, but I try my best to keep you away from that stuff because I don't want to scare you with it but at this point I don't care anymore. Maeve? She's real, she was real. She was the most amazing girl in the world and you know what? I never saw her a single fucking time until the day she died. A murder suicide. I wept for weeks and weeks, wanna know who was there for me?” Spencer held up his hand and started counting off on his fingers, “my teammates, my supervisor, my mother, the people in my favourite coffee shop and bookstore. THEY WERE CONCERNED FOR ME WHEN I STOPPED COMING IN FOR TWO WEEKS” Spencers voice raised slightly, not enough to shout but enough to get through to you, “i have PTSD, i have trauma; and it's not right for you to dismiss it like its nothing. And that includes my mother” and with that Spencer was done. He grabbed his wallet from his pocket, shoved a $5 bill on the table and started walking off, you took a moment to catch up before walking after him.

“Spence, what- what?” your brain couldn't keep up as Spencer walked out of the shop with you in tow.

“We’re over. Go home” Spencer said without looking at you.

“But, I love you!” you exclaimed, disheartened, hoping that last bit would help you, but Spencer kept walking.

“Then perish” was all you heard as he continued walking away, confidence radiating over him as he left you to your thoughts.

And honestly? Thinking back on everything.

He was fucking right.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #david rossi #emily prentiss #jj #penelope garcia #Aaron hotchner #Spencer reid x reader #Aaron hotchner x reader #Reid x reader #Hotch x reader #head canon

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slippinmickeys · 4 years

Text

Voyeur

This is just a one-shot writing exercise, but I had fun.

The person who was assigned to run surveillance on the basement office of the Hoover Building was a man with the unlikely name of Ichabod Weaver.

Ichabod had been previously employed in wetwork but had been demoted after a collosal fuck-up, which had been Percy-Fucknut-Ryan’s fault, but Ichabod was in charge of his own operations and ultimately took responsibility. Running surveillance on the X-Files project was a punishment, pure and simple.

“If you happen to kill the wrong person down there,” his employer had said to him initially, blowing a plume of smoke into Ichabod’s face, “it would take care of several of my problems.”

Anything would have been preferable to the drudgery of listening, day after day, to the insane theories of Fox William Mulder (Subject 240629) and his skeptical lady partner (one Dana Katherine Scully, Subject 241204). They were intelligent (pretentious), talented (annoying), and honorable to a fault; the kind of people who would point out to a waitress if she hadn’t charged them enough for dinner. It was enough to make a guy puke. Ichabod would have happily put his old skills to work on himself to escape the tedium of his assignment, but he had two years left on his contract and enough savings in the bank to live out the rest of his days on an island somewhere near the equator. If he didn’t die from boredom down here, that meant he also wouldn’t die of it while lounging in a hammock slung between two palm trees.

Ichabod mostly ran audio surveillance, but there was video too, if anything got interesting. He mostly used that when Mulder or Scully was out of the office leaving the other alone. Mulder would inevitably watch porn, which Ichabod could see if he adjusted the camera just-so, and Scully would take the opportunity when Mulder stepped out, to reach into her bra for one reason or another, or adjust her pantyhose or stretch her long, elegant neck. It was the best he would ever get from an uptight, conservative broad like Scully, and Ichabod was a guy who would always take what he could get.

When he first started the gig, he thought it was fairly obvious that the two agents were fucking. With Mulder’s constant proximity to Scully’s tight little ass and round plump mouth, Ichabod could hardly blame the guy--but they never did anything untoward in the office aside from light flirting and the occassional glancing sexual innuendo, and after nine months Ichabod decided that in actuality, they weren’t fucking each other, but that they obviously wanted to. God, what idiots. If Ichabod had learned anything in life, it was that life itself was too damn short.

They had been out of the office for a week and a half out in the field -- some other poor shmuck’s problem -- and Ichabod hadn’t even bothered coming in the last three days. They were back in their office today and had beaten him to work, which he discovered when he set down his coffee and flipped on the speakers to find the two agents and their boss, the stick-up-his-ass AD, in the middle of a conversation.

“--surprised you were able to get a confession, Agent Scully, the local PD had interrogated the suspect on four separate occasions and never got enough to justify a warrant.”

“Agent Mulder should get the credit for this one, sir,” Scully said, standing -- judging from the sound of her voice -- on the other side of the room, “it was his idea to use the interrogation technique that garnered the confession.”

“Well,” Mulder said, his voice casually modest, “we were all ears and he was all mouth.”

“Nevertheless, it was a job well done,” Skinner said. “Can I expect your report on my desk by Friday?”

He must have gotten a nonverbal confirmation, because the next thing Ichabod heard was the office door closing and the sound of the assistant director’s footsteps fading away to nothing.

“You didn’t have to do that, Scully,” Mulder said, after a brief minute of quiet.

“Do what?” she asked on a shuffle of papers.

“Give me all the credit,” Mulder said, “you know I wouldn’t have gotten a confession from the guy if he hadn’t been so hot for you that he didn’t even notice when he confessed to the crime.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mulder,” Scully said, in a tone that it made it obvious to both Mulder and Ichabod that she most assuredly did.

“The guy had a pretty severe priapic condition when you stood him up and slapped on the cuffs, or don’t you remember the thing practically brushing your arm when I was Mirandizing him?” Mulder said, his tone playful.

After a moment, Scully rose to the bait, answering in just as playful a way -- something that grabbed Ichabod’s attention, because it was something she’d never, ever done before.

“The genitalia of the male of our species is a complicated system of hydraulics, Mulder. His priapic condition as you call it, could have been caused by any number of stimuli, be it sexual or otherwise.”

Ichabod was certain that if he turned on the video right now, he and Mulder would be wearing the same impressed/amused reaction.

“Otherwise?” Mulder’s voice was low.

“You pumped him full of cola, Mulder,” she said, and Ichabod could hear the smile in her voice, “maybe he just really had to pee.”

“As the owner of ‘a complicated system of hydraulics,’ and a person who spends hours a week in confined spaces with you, I can assure you, Agent Scully... he didn’t have to pee.”

Ichabod leaned back in his chair and began clicking a ballpoint pen. The tension in that office was so high it was leaking into his cramped surveillance room through the wires that fed its sound.

“And trust me,” Mulder’s voice came so quietly that Ichabod had to turn up the volume on his speaker, “when the hydraulics kick in, it doesn’t feel all that complicated.”

There was a muffled sound of footsteps, a mumble he couldn’t make out and then the quiet wisps of a sound it took Ichabod a minute to identify as the rustle of clothing, and he went flying in his office chair across the room and to the video monitor that he hadn’t turned on in weeks.

It took several long seconds for the screen to flash to life and another few for Ichabod to jostle the joystick that controlled the camera until he brought the two agents into the center of his screen, as close together as he had ever seen them, inches apart but not touching. Mulder was leaning down into Scully’s space and she was looking up at him intensely, her hands at her side, fingers clenching open and closed as if she were trying to make a decision.

Mulder brought his hands up slowly to her face, holding it gently, his thumbs rubbing along the seam of her plump, ruby lower lip.

“Awww, he’s gonna do it,” Ichabod said to the empty room, then, as if the people on the screen could hear him, said, “Do it, Mulder. Do it.”

As if in answer, Mulder leaned slowly down and brushed his lips lightly across Scully’s, and both Ichabod and Mulder seemed prepared for the inevitable slap. Instead, Scully stepped in even closer, the tips of her shoes stepping on the tops of Mulder’s own and pulled him down into a kiss that started sweetly, but turned passionate in matter of moments.

One of Mulder’s hands stayed on her face, but the other arm snaked around her waist, his hand grabbing hot handfuls of her tight ass, and Ichabod had to bite a knuckle in jealousy.

He could hear a tight female moan and then the sound of desperate pants and huffed breaths, followed by a cacophonous waterfalling thud as a stack of files fell off the desk as Mulder pushed Scully into it -- the sounds all a half second out of sync from the video screen before him.

Ichabod saw Mulder pump his hips against Scully once and fumble his hands at her shirt, pulling it out of the waist of her skirt. Scully took the moment to run her hands up over his shoulders, cleaving the suit coat from his back so that it pooled to the floor at their feet. Mulder’s hand was up and under her shirt in a flash, and Scully threw her head back from where she sat on the desk, the column of her throat almost white in the dim light of the basement.

Mulder’s mouth was at her neck an instant later, and Ichabod was impressed with his dexterity, his mouth working at his partner’s throat even as one hand was filled to bursting with her ass and the other was working her breasts, and all Ichabod could hear were her moans and a roaring of blood in his own ears.

When Scully reached for Mulder’s fly, he almost reached for his own, but then stopped as Scully did, who put a hand up to Mulder’s chest, where she wrapped his tie around her hand once and leaned her forehead against his heaving chest.

“Not…” she struggled to catch her breath, “Not here.”

“Yes here,” Ichabod said to the screen, willing the agents to keep going, his thumb continuing to click the pen, in and out, in and out, faster and faster.

“Scuh-” Mulder started to say, one hand reaching down to lift her chin until she was looking him in the eye.

“Not like this,” she said to him, her eyes searching his, “I want it to be right, I want you to-”

“To what?” Mulder whispered, then touched the tip of her nose with the gentlest of kisses.

Her head fell downward again, her hair falling like curtains to block what Ichabod could see of her face.

Mulder then whispered something Ichabod couldn’t make out. She looked back up at Mulder, her face as yearning and bright as any classic Hollywood starlet. She pushed herself off the desk and pulled herself up to her full height, then pulled on Mulder’s tie, bringing his face slowly down to her own. She gave him a firm, full kiss, her tongue invading his mouth once, quickly.

“I love you too,” she said earnestly, and Ichabod felt something in his chest loosen and fly free.

“Come to me,” she said quietly, and Mulder’s eyes never once left hers, his hands holding her tightly to him, “tonight.”

Mulder nodded once firmly, and then reluctantly released her. He took one step back.

“Tonight,” he said, his voice raw and needy.

Scully reached up with a hand and ran it gently through his hair once, then let her hand fall. She stepped away from her partner.

Ichabod stared at the screen before him as both agents stepped out of frame, the basement office quiet but for the dull background hum of desktop towers, the quiet buzz of monitors and various investigative equipment. He released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

After a few moments of introspection, Ichabod looked at the video recording device in front of him for a full minute and then on an impulse, rewound it quickly and pressed the “erase” button. Then he pushed back from the desk, loosened his tie and made for the door. Ichabod needed some air.

#the x-files #fanfic #MSR #one-shot #voyerurism #my fic #a little #'breath he didn't realize he was holding'#for those of you playing fanfic bingo

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strangest-loser · 4 years

Text

Criminal minds Rewrite

Oh Ophelia - Spencer Reid X OC - Prologue

Masterlist / Soundtrack (Spotify) / Character Board

*This story will be heavily based on a soundtrack that will be influenced by the story, each chapter will correspond to a song on the soundtrack and while listening to them isn’t necessary I highly recommend it. - Aoife*

Chapter song: Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears

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Red coated her vision as she struggled against the pair of arms drawing her deeper and deeper under water, she couldn’t see anything except red. The air was leaving her lungs forcefully as the pressure is weighing oh her head, a flash of blonde appearing in front of her as she finally stops struggling letting the abyss swallow her whole.

It was, in her opinion, way too early for Lily to be startled awake by the ungodly squawk of the white alarm clock next to her head and a pair of bodies laying on her chest, a plush blonde paw swiping at her nose looking for attention. It took three attempts of slapping the clock into silence and lifting herself into a sitting position staring down through half lidded eyes at the two curious faces. Beatrice and Katrina stared back at her, eyes wide and tails swishing before the inevitable mewls of hunger erupted from their tiny bodies that were looking for breakfast. Getting out from under her warm cocoon was hard for her whenever she had that nightmare, it was recurring and it really rattled her, but she really had no idea where it came from. Walking across the icy floor boards of her old ass DC apartment into the kitchen never got easier, she was accompanied by two puff balls at her feet before they both took their seats on the bar stools, both cats knew not to sit on the counters, but they were full time ‘little shits’ so they decided to get as close as possible to breaking the rule, Beatrice got brave once and placed a single white paw on the grey marble while staring Lily down who was watching her from the door... poor girl forgot what the treat bag sounded like, she knew not to mess with mama after that. After the furry divas were given their bowls the shower was ran and Lily got herself ready for her day. A freshly washed cream shirt was tucked into her favorite black midi skirt. Her chestnut hair scooped into a ponytail and finally her black jacket and boots were slipped on at the door and checking the water bowls for her girls she grabbed her keys, satchel and umbrella before she dipped out into the Washington DC rain.

Photographs blinked on and off the screen as she stared out onto the class of freshman agents in training, the class she would have been in had it not been for the man who was giving the lecture, standing off to the side almost out of sight she listened as Gideon spoke of a previous case. “Does anyone recognize these faces?” he asked the class of 60, all of which looked vaguely uncomfortable at the images presented to them of the victims corpses. Lily knew, but she wasn’t going to say anything just yet. Finally, a girl Lily knew named Kasey piped up, “Victims of the footpath killer”. Lily’s mouth hitched into a smile at that answer knowing that Gideon didn’t like to name unsubs. “That’s what Virginia newspapers are calling him, but we refer to him as the unknown subject or UNSUB. I told Virginia PD they are looking for a white male in his 20s who owns an American made truck, disrepair, works a menial job. I told them when you find him, don’t be surprised to hear him speak with a severe stutter.” Another girl Lily knew, Inez, put her hand up to question him. “Not to sound skeptical but come on, a stutter?” Gideon’s eyes fell to his TA who was still leaning against the wall of the lecture hall, eyes meeting her hazel ones as she stepped forward to answer now that Gideon had given her the floor. “Where did the murders occur? on hiking paths. Its isolated. He’s a killer who had to use an immediate application of overpowering force out in the middle of nowhere, he lacks confidence. He can’t charm them into his car like Ted Bundy did, none of us ladies would feel compelled enough to go just about anywhere with someone who sounds like a jammed printer so he would have to be ashamed of something, case in point, a stutter.” she joked pulling a laugh out of the trainees in the lecture hall. “Nothing against speech impediments,” she clarified with a wink and a cheeky grin. Her statement was answered by the door to her right slamming open and Hellooo~ an adorable, lanky brunette man creeps in looking at Gideon before tapping on a case file. Lily tore her eyes away from the cute intruder and smiled, Gideon really needed a win after his last case and she could tell that his ‘Extended Medical Leave’ was driving him nuts. Gideon dismissed the lecture before looking at Lily and motioning for her to follow him. That’s never happed before but Lily knew better than to question him. “Class dismissed, go eat a cookie you guys deserve it!” She called following the other two out of the door.

“They are calling him ‘The Seattle Strangler’ four victims in four months, keeps them alive for seven days, the handle acts as a crank” The man she knew of as Dr. Reid, the genius of the academy informed the two as they all marched down the hallways of Quantico. “Allowing them to control the rate of suffocation” she piped up examining the crime scene photo he was holding. Reid looked at the stranger that Gideon had brought with him “To prolong it?” he questioned her observation. “To enjoy it” was Gideon’s answer before launching back into schematics. “Seattle has hit a wall?” Reid nodded “Physical evidence is non existent, there are no tangible leads.” Gideon stopped then and pulled the Crime scene photo closer to himself and Lily. “Another girl is missing.” He muttered before marching into his office the two brunets following him. Lily spent a lot of time in this office over the last two years. Gideon hand plucked her out of her Criminal Psychology class at UCI at 18 years old and to this day it was still a mystery to her, sure she was intelligent but she was well aware that she was not God’s gift to the FBI, she was just as good as everybody else in the academy so why Gideon decided to bring her under his wing was lost on her. She asked him once and he only smiled at her and answered with “I’m trusting my gut” and she was smart enough to know that she wasn’t going to get an answer any clearer than that out of him so she stopped asking and just took the opportunity as the blessing it was. She finished her Irvine degree while she completed her training at the academy and she was fast tracking her was straight to graduating later that year at age 20, beating out Dr. Reid's record of 22, but she knew realistically that was because he enrolled at the academy at a later age than she did. Gideon defiantly had to pull in some favors to get her in at her young age but her written test scores exceeded expectations and her physical exam fell well within the parameters to qualify so she was accepted to the academy under the direct watch of SSA Jason Gideon meaning if she messed up its his neck on the line. Lily took this seriously as a result and was thriving under his guidance.

Just as she took up her seat on the couch against the wall adjacent to the desk two other agents she didn’t really know yet entered and spoke directly to Gideon, not yet noticing the girl curled up in the corner, her legs tucked up underneath her skirt as she motioned for Dr. Reid to hand her the photograph one last time, he did and loomed over she shoulder trying to spot what she was looking at, if she was seeing something they weren't. She was trying not to notice just how close the attractive genius was getting to her. “You’re gonna be in Seattle with us ASAP.” announced the raven haired serious man who was now standing in the room with his partner, Lily was well aware of who SSA Aaron Hotchner was. Gideon looked reserved as he took off his reading glasses and moved forward to take the picture of the missing girl the stranger was holding out for him. Lily rose from her nest in the corner and joined him, not missing the odd looks she got from the two BAU agents. “23 year old Heather Woodland, before she left for lunch she downloaded an email with a time delayed virus attached.” Hotchner spoke before the one man she didn’t know piped up again “The killer’s virus wiped her hard drive and left this on the screen.” He handed Gideon another photograph who took one look at it before handing it to Lily, he really seemed determined to get her involved so she took it. The words on the photo were extremely familiar to her as she had read them countless times in the case files Gideon made her study inside out. “For heavens sake stop me before I kill more I cannot control myself.” she read aloud before waltzing to the wall without looking up and holding the picture up to another in a glass frame which read the same exact same words, ‘William Heirens, The Lipstick Killer, 1945.’ written under it.

“He never keeps them for more than seven days which means we have fewer than thirty six hours to find her.” Hotchner spoke, his tone grave and serious, Lily wondered if that’s what he always sounded like. “They want you back in the saddle” came the strangers voice once again and Lily’s gaze shot to her mentor as his face filled with what looked to her like fear, no, apprehension. “Looks like medical leave is over boss” she cracks pulling a smile out of the young doctor standing at the back of the room. Gideon faced Hotchner, “You’re sure they want me?” he asks deadly serious. “The order came from the director.” Gideon then faced Lily dead on prompting the other three men to look at the young woman as Gideon addressed her “Up for some on the job training?” Lily clearly showed the shock on her face as Hotchner began to object to the idea of having someone as young as Lily on the case but Gideon shot him down immediately “My only condition is that she comes with us. She’s my star pupil and I want her with me.” The raven haired man began to look the girl over and Lily steeled her gaze, challenging Hotchners own as he finally nodded and made it very clear that she was Gideon’s responsibility. The agent nodded and let his gaze fall back onto the picture Lily had pointed out earlier. “Then we better get started.”

Joseph Conrad said “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."

The SUV pulled up onto the tarmac of the airstrip as Gideon piled out of it quickly followed by Lily who had just enough time to race home, pack a bag and drop Beatrice and Katrina off with her neighbor Annalise and make it back in time to get going. She followed behind the other agents falling into step with Reid before she reached the top of the steps and looked back out at SSA Hotchner who was talking to a female agent the two were speaking before both looked directly at her before talking once more. Lily knew this was her one shot that she couldn’t mess up, Gideon was already going to get weird questions for bringing her along without her accidentally falling flat on her ass in a crime scene or something. She seated herself in the seat across from Reid for the debrief as the plane took off. No going back now.

“First victim was 26 year old Melissa Kirsch, stab wounds, strangulation-” Reid was listing off the facts from the case file in his hands before he was cut off by who Lily learned in the car was SSA Derek Morgan “Wait back up back up, he stabbed her, then strangled her to finish her off?” “Other way around” Gideon corrected before asking Reid “Why do you think he started using the belt with the second murder?” Lily instead piped up with an answer like that annoying kid in the class who doesn’t know when to shut up. “Strangulation with your bare hands would take too long and is harder to complete effectively, he probably started out with that before switching to the belt-” “And then stabbed her out of impatience” Morgan finished her thought with a nod. “Then realized he would be hours cleaning up the blood.” Came Hotchners input. “So next time my boys got a method, the belt.” Morgan concluded pulling a nod from the rest of the group. “He’s learning,” Gideon pointed out, “Perfecting his scenario, becoming a better killer.” The debrief concluded and everyone went back to doing their own thing trying to fill the time before they reached Seattle.

Lily was comfortable in the seat she picked so she didn’t feel compelled to move to the back of the plane to sit with Gideon, plus she wanted to give him a break, she felt bad that (in her mind) everyone seemed to paint her as this inconvenient child that he was babysitting when she knew that she could handle this case. Gideon was more of a father to her than her own one is right now, so she was going to make him proud. She curled up similarly to how she did in the office pulling her legs up out of sight and curling into the seat behind her, pulling an old, well loved copy of ‘Hamlet’ out of her satchel and opening it back up to where she left off, where Hamlet was unleashing his feigned madness unto a confused Ophelia. “I take it you are a fan of the classics?” came a voice breaking the silence and she looked up only to meet Reid’s gaze as he gestured to the book in her hands. “Oh, yeah I love Shakespeare, as you can clearly see” she said with a friendly smile holding up the book with clear tape holding together the paperback spine together and its yellowed pages. “To die, to sleep-” The man in front of her began to quote from memory before Lily joined in to complete the line, “To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub, For in this sleep of death what dreams may come...” the two laughed softly at their synchronicity before silence fell again broken quickly by Lily who desperately wanted to keep the conversation going, “Its funny my mother wanted to give me a Shakespearian name but my dad thought they were too old fashioned and worried that I would be bullied so they settled on Ophelia as my middle name.” she informed him her eyes drifting to look at her fingers which suddenly became very interesting, she really didn’t like talking about her family. Her drop in happiness at the thought of her parents and sisters was immediately picked up on by Gideon and by Reid, her mentor was quick to call her over to him and Lily left her spot with a quiet “excuse me” before sitting with Gideon. So much for that conversation she wanted. “You will have to tell them about her eventually, it’s not something you can avoid when they work with her.” He pointed out to the girl and she sighed softly but knew he was right. “I will, when the opportunity arises, I’m only an acting agent on this case and these people are strangers to me, they don’t need to know my life story.” She explained, and with that silence resumed and the flight was spent with Lily’s nose in her book.

It surprisingly wasn’t raining when the five of them reached the FBI Northwest Field Office hours later, Lily walked in at Gideon’s side having swapped her blouse and skirt combo out for her black leggings, white t-shirt and royal blue UC Irvine sweatshirt, her combat boots and an FBI jacket and badge that Gideon handed her once they got off the plane, items he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. Walking ahead of the others she could still hear them talking about Gideon, Morgan commenting on his PTSD and if she could hear them then Gideon definitely could, it their gossip angered him he didn’t show it as they opened the glass doors into a bullpen full of field agents. “This is Special Agent Gideon, Special Agent Morgan our expert on obsessional crimes, Special Agent Reid-” Hotchner was cut off by Gideon,”Dr. Reid, our expert on everything” which pulled a few laughs “and Agent Jareau.” Well there's the opportunity she was looking for... she was gonna have to talk to him when this case was over...

Lily’s introduction caused both Morgan and Reid to look at her with matching confused and bewildered expressions to which she just mouthed ‘I’ll tell you later’, “and after years busting my butt in this office I hope you remember me.” Hotchner finished bringing the attention away from Lily once more. “He’s willing to travel with a body”, Gideon pointed out becoming transfixed by the crime scene board in front of him as the other three men hopped back and forth bouncing ideas and explaining certain behaviors that the unsub displayed. “When did the bureau become involved with the case?” was Hotchner’s next question to which a nameless agent answered “After the fourth victim, he crossed state lines.” “He did it on purpose.” came Lily’s feminine voice standing out against the group of men she was with. “Knowledge of law enforcement does suggest a criminal record.” Reid backed up her point before walking away to observe another board. Lily’s mind began to race with information as she took in all the evidence hung up around her, she only tuned back in when Morgan spoke “An accurate profile by four o’clock today?” “Won’t be a problem.” was Gideon’s response before he pointed to a photo on a board by the door. “We start at the site of the last murder.” Lily made to walk out the door after Gideon but was halted in her path by Morgan and Reid. She knew she really wasn’t gonna get out of this so she sighed before grabbing both men by their wrists and pulling them into the empty corridor to the left of the bullpen. “Okay, your media liaison, Jennifer, she is my sister.” stating the obvious didn’t seem to cut it. “JJ never mentioned a sister.” Reid told their small group and Lily knew she wasn’t going to escape this without a deeper explanation. “JJ left for Georgetown at 18, I was only 12, she never called or came home for the holidays, I haven’t seen her since her high school graduation. She abandoned me!” Lily so desperately wanted to confide in anyone who wasn’t Gideon but she stopped herself by remembering that these men were strangers and that would be oversharing. “We don’t talk.” was all she mumbled, her voice getting smaller, she didn’t like talking about her sister who practically abandoned her the first chance she got. “Oh, and she doesn’t know I’m in the FBI... So that’s gonna be an interesting talk if I ever see her at Quantico.”

Pulling up to the crime scene was a surreal feeling for Lily. Sure she had seen all the photographs and case files and she had been to plenty of mockup ones for her assessments but her first real crime scene weighed on her and solidified one thought in her mind, this was where she was meant to be, she was gonna find this sick son of a bitch and save that girl. Gideon was calm and calculated walking around the dump site, like his mind was piecing together an exact replication of what probably happened here. “22 year old Anne Cushing was found right here” Morgan’s voice broke the concentration of the two and Lily looked away from the police taped grave to give the agent her full attention. “Her nails were clipped just like the others.” Lily let the information sit with her, “He wants them to fight back, but not enough to hurt him.” she adds. “And he left the belt around her neck.” Gideon reminded the two before looking around some more, “He was probably in his early 20s.” Mentor then turned to mentee “Lily go with Hotch and Reid to speak to Heather’s brother.” and with only a nod she began to trek back up towards ground level and hops into the waiting SUV next to Reid before it drives off. A sharp gaze burned into the side of her head as she stared out the window at the passing streets, she knew it was Hotchner watching her, he was analyzing her, trying to figure out why Gideon was so insistent on the girl joining the case, as if Lily hadn’t been asking herself that already. A polite nod was sent his way when she locked eyes with the serious man and that seemed to knock the staring off for the duration of the car ride. Maybe if she just stared him down too he might feel a little less intimidating, maybe. The door opened and Lily was immediately tackled by a large golden Labrador, sure she was a cat person but who doesn’t love dogs too. A scratch behind the ears was all it took for the dog to be pulled back into the house by the man we were here to see. After introductions were made inside the home the dog began to bark at Reid who looked mildly uncomfortable pulling a tiny smirk onto Lily’s face. “Sandy no!, I am so sorry.” came the apologies which were instantly shut down by Hotchner. “Oh no it’s ok, its what we call the Reid effect, it happens with children too.” Lily stifled a laugh at the jab at Reid, alright so mister serious was capable of humor, noted. Lily began to look around the room while the three men spoke and she was near silent in her observing until she spotted a magazine laid on top of a pile of papers on the table, “David does your sister drive a Datsun Z?” she asked facing the man in question. “No but she’s in the market for one, how did you know?” Lily didn’t answer but held the magazine up for the other agents to see. Hotchner approached her as Heather’s brother left the room with a now fussy Sandy and the trio huddled as Lily continued her theory. “There is an immediate relationship established between a buyer and seller, a level of trust, if I want to get a young woman into my car-” “you offer her a test drive.” Hotch finished the thought and nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“Ok, so how about on one hand we have paranoid psychosis, but the autopsy says what?” Morgan questions pacing the empty bullpen asides from Lily, who was spinning her chair as they discussed the profile, and the rest of the team. “Adhesive residue shows he wrapped layers of duct tape around his victims eyes,” Reid added from his seat next to Lily. “He clearly wants to kill them, but he still covers their eyes, he doesn’t want them looking at him. But then he takes the body and dumps them out in the open with the murder weapon nearby.” Lily tuned out Morgan as she began to piece together all of the parts in her mind, different theories and pieces of evidence ran through her brain as she shifted through the information, the noise in the room was drowned out as she finally connected the red strings in her mind. Bingo. She stood quickly enough to give her whiplash as she called out for Gideon who looked her in the eyes and nodded. “Hotch tell them we’re ready.” was all he said before he strode out of the room with Lily following close behind ignoring the protests from Morgan. The briefing room was dark as Gideon gave the profile, seemingly we had both come to the same conclusion about the profile and it wasn’t long before law enforcement and agents alike were exiting the room with his newfound information. Lily strode up to meet him at the top of the room and he spoke to her in hushed tones. “You passed your firearms evaluation yes?” he asked and with a nod from her he continued, “You’re going in, Hotch tells me an agent Greenaway is on her way, and its gonna take female agents to get his guard down.” SSA Elle Greenaway was the only agent who Lily knew apart from Gideon, she had met her during her academy training and knew she had a background in sex crimes, they got along so this shouldn’t be too difficult.

It was dark walking up the steps to the house listed as the suspects address and a quick background check of family history showed him to be the only male in the household. The rest was easy. Elle knocked on the door and when it opened to reveal an old lady with a nasal cannula and a woman with a baby girl in her arms Elle immediately launched into their pre-determined cover to lure Richard Slessman, the suspect, out of his home. “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you this time of night but I’m housesitting with my sister and when we got back the door was open and the lights weren’t working.” Elle spoke with apprehension trying to play up the fear that someone might be in the house. Lily then piped up “We feel really stupid asking this but is there any chance there is someone who could take a look inside with us?” Their ruse clearly worked because the old lady immediately called out for Richard. Once the guy came downstairs Lily wanted to physically shudder under his gaze because he really wasn’t hiding his leering gaze, then again the more Lily thought of it obviously he would be creepy, he liked to murder girls for shits and giggles. Creeping into the empty house that they had gotten permission to use by the owners Lily walked just behind Richard keeping her hand trained on her concealed Glock 17 talking her cue from Elle she brought her gun out and nocked off the safety and as soon as the other SWAT members revealed themselves Lily immediately trained her pistol on Richard as Elle took him down in one swift movement arresting him. As soon as the handcuffs clicked into place around his wrists Lily replaced the safety and put her gun away as Elle passed their suspect off to another Swat member and turned to Lily with a proud smile, “You did great.” Lily beamed at her friend before she started nodding. “Does the whole gun thing always make your adrenaline skyrocket or is that just me?” she joked causing Elle to laugh and pull her into a hug.

“I know this is an extremely difficult time for you and your family Mrs Slessman but we appreciate your cooperation.” Lily finished up her interviews with the family and approached the others who were speaking in the hallway. “Family didn’t have a clue, apparently he has been acting out and generally being creepy since the death of his mother, they thought it was just hormones at first but clearly crazy doesn’t end with puberty.” Lily reported to the group of them following them through the house. Gideon spoke to Elle as Lily followed the others in examining the room, her attention brought back when Elle spoke. “Actually I want Hotch to lead the interview.” Gideon looked pensive for a minute before leaving the room. “Next time show a little leg,” Morgan joked at Elle causing both women to roll their eyes. “Wow, real classy there Derek.” Lily patted his shoulder before winking at Elle and climbing the stairs with the other two agents in tow.

Watching Gideon talk with this guy was unnerving, he was smart, but insanely creepy, not to mention the words coming out of his mouth were throwing Lily off, something was wrong, this guy wasn’t the unsub, or at least not alone. Lily walked out of the room and around to the side of the house, Gideon and Richard’s eyes following her as she left. She was soon followed by Gideon and Hotchner, who immediately noticed how agitated she was, her thoughts running 50 miles an hour. “What is it Lily,” Gideon asked keeping his eyes trained on the young woman who was pacing in the grass. “This feels wrong, he isn’t our murderer.” She spoke continuing her rhythmic pacing, it helped her think. “What woman would willingly get into a car with him, he’s unsettling, there is no way he could abduct over four women only using a car, a tacky car at that, when he comes across like that.” Gideon thought over what she was saying with a nod. “He said ‘Isn’t she the girl?’, if she were dead he would have said-” “wasn’t she?” Hotch chimed in. “She’s still alive but we don’t know for how long.” Lily finally ceased her pacing immediately drawing the attention of both men in front of her. “There’s an error in the profile, two different behaviors.” she looked at Hotch who finished her theory “Two different people, she’s right.”

Lily was left with Morgan at the house while the others went back to the field office. He was in the other room talking on the phone to their technical analyst about getting into Slessman’s laptop, but so far no dice. Walking into the bathroom Lily looks around before opening the medicine cabinet mirror revealing a pill bottle prescribed to Richard, sleeping tablets. “Hey Morgan,” she sang walking back into the bedroom where the man was standing and handing him the bottle “Seems Richie here has trouble sleeping.” Morgan takes the pill bottle from her hand before walking over to his bed, CD’s litter the room on every surface and Morgan gets the idea to try and shuffle through them. Not too long after that Reid shows up which puts a smile on Lily’s face, she is really beginning to enjoy the young doctor’s company. It really didn’t take long before Reid was asking for the hair pin holding Lily’s baby hairs back and he jimmied the disk drive open. “His password is ‘ENTER SANDMAN’.” The Doctor concludes holding up the worn Metallica cd. Grainy computer video feed popped up on the screen showing a very much still alive Heather Woodland. “Well great, now we just need to figure out where she is.”

The next few minutes was spent with the trio bouncing ideas while watching the screen for any sudden movements, but got nothing until Lily spotted something near nonexistent on the screen, seemingly so did Reid. “Wait pause, Reid did you see that?” she sputtered pointing at the light fixture in the video feed. “Yeah I did, Morgan pull up the last 12 frames side by side.” the genius asked pointing out how the light changed positions, the exact observation Lily had made. It took 3 seconds for the lightbulb to hit her. “Holy shit that’s it!” she yelled before grabbing her phone. The ringing of her mobile gave out to a swift “Talk to me.”

“Gideon they’re on a boat, probably a dock or a marina nearby, were gonna get Hotchner to find out which one, hang tight.” she said all in one breath before hanging up without an answer. “Excited much.” chuckled Morgan but she just nudged his side and let him call Hotchner with what they found. “That was a nice find Jareau.” Reid mumbled looking Lily in the eyes for the first time since the two had met. She found herself letting a tiny smile onto her lips at the compliment, “Thanks but you spotted it too, you’re good at this.” she paused “And please, it’s Lily, Jareau is my sister.” she joked pulling a small laugh out of the man next to her. It felt weird to talk about JJ to anyone who wasn’t her mom, since their dad had left them and gotten remarried. Morgan walked back in startling the two back into the present. “Did he get a hit?” she asked eagerly, she really wanted to get Heather back safely so she was getting antsy. “Yeah, they’re at a shipyard 10 miles from here, Gideon and Elle are almost there now.” The brief relief was extinguished when the video feed altered and their unsub was dragging Heather Woodland out of the cage. The next few minutes were tense and the trio only relaxed when Morgan’s phone rang.

“They got her.”

The plane ride back to Quantico was silent as the three youngest slept soundly, Morgan sleeping upright across from Reid who was napping stretched out on the longer sofa and Lily who was curled up in the seat across from Gideon, book still in hand. The mentor watched as she slept, he was incredibly proud of how she handled the case and even managed to greatly contribute like he had no doubt she would, and with time he knew she would be as good as anyone else on his team, if not better. “Hey.” It was Aaron Hotchner who softly broke Gideon out of his thoughts. “Did you and Hailey pick the babies name yet?” Aaron was a good friend of his and he was truly happy for them both. Hotch took a beat before answering, “You know its funny, Hailey liked the name Charles, but you know, all I could think was-” “Manson.” Gideon finished with a smirk.

“Then there was Henry-”

“Lee Lucas.”

“And Jefferey-”

“Dahmer.”

Hotch let a smile slip at their little game, “God, there’s just too many of them.” Gideon agreed before letting his eyes fall on the cover of the book still held in the sleeping girl’s grasp. “’The hunt for Red October’ by Tom Clancy.” Gideon mumbled, he was familiar with the books contents as Lily had spoken about it many times, the adventures of Jack Ryan had been introduced to her when she was thirteen years old and those books are what made her want to join the FBI. “What about Jack?”

A smile made its way onto the younger man’s face, Jack Hotchner didn’t sound so bad. He let his eyes rake over the youngest of their troop thinking back on the last few hours. “She is good Gideon. she will make a great agent.” Jason Gideon looked back at the sleeping girl once more, a fond look crossing his face.

“She will be one of our greatest, she just has a little more growing to do.”

By cool Siloam's shady rill. How sweet the Lily grows! - Reginald Heber

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That’s the prologue to this wild ride and I hope you like it!

My taglist is open just message me or comment.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x oc #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #elle greenaway #jennifer jareau #jason gideon #criminal minds

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years

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How Miss Americana director Lana Wilson found the real Taylor Swift

By: Alissa Wilkinson for Vox Date: January 28th 2020

[Excerpt: Conversation with Lana Wilson]

At the premiere, Taylor said that you two weren’t really sure what kind of movie you were going to be making when you first got started. So how did this project end up happening?

I was introduced to Taylor by Morgan Neville, who’s a producer on the film. I went to meet her in person, and she had watched some of my work. We talked for an hour about documentaries and storytelling.

I knew and loved her albums. I would tell friends, “Oh, you should listen to her early country stuff, because it’s such great songwriting.” I don’t know much about country music, but I knew she was an extraordinary songwriter. So I admired her, and knew she’d been writing her own songs for 15 years, and all of that. But I didn’t know anything about her personal life, or what she was really like beyond her songs.

So, when first met, we had a mutual admiration for each other’s work. She appreciated that my documentaries give audiences space to come to their own conclusions. They’re about gray areas and complexity. She really responded to all of that.

We talked about doing a documentary that felt raw and intimate and complex and messy. She was coming out of an important time in her life. She’d been out of the public eye for a year, and she was coming back. She wanted to keep making work and going out into the world, but she wanted to do it in a way where she wasn’t caring as much about getting everyone’s approval and getting everyone to like her.

That was something I related to, as a creative person. It’s terrifying to put your art into the world. You always hope everyone likes it, even though you know not everyone will like it. We’re all on social media and more conscious than ever of how we measure up to other people, and if people like us or not.

And I related to her as a female artist in a male-dominated industry. There is something different about needing to be liked by the people in your industry, by the people that you work with. You’re judged based on whether you’re likable or not if you’re a woman, in a way that you’re not if you’re a man. I immediately thought this could be incredibly rich and deep, and started filming. The evolution of her political, feminist consciousness leading to this decision to speak out politically, for me, was extraordinarily powerful to witness.

A lot of the big public events in the movie are familiar to most people who pay any attention to pop culture, but this movie feels like we’re getting access to behind-the-scenes footage. A lot of people thought they knew what was going on with Swift behind the news headlines, but that’s not necessarily true.

Right. It was a challenge and a joy in the edit room to figure out how to do this. The film primarily covers about two years. But then, you have to ask, what elements of her backstory and her past do you need to know in order to have the context for the emotional journey she’s on now?

She’s had this 15-year career already, so we had an overwhelming amount of material to choose from. We ended up, in the edit room, deciding to use the archival footage as sparingly as possible; we just used what you needed to know to understand where she was coming from, and why [the decision to speak out] was so profound for her.

It seems like putting together this story would be especially hard with a subject about whom everyone has preconceptions. Everyone thinks they know who Taylor Swift is. Your other films are about people who aren’t celebrities (though they’re public figures in their own way). Did it feel like you had to do something different to find what the story would be for this one?

Well, yes and no. I do feel like my other films are about people living in extraordinary circumstances. And they’re about giving audiences the chance to intimately experience [the subjects’] lives, even though their lives could probably not be more different than the audience members. So my approach was certainly common here. I was surprised by moments [in Taylor’s life] that I thought people could relate to, especially women and girls. So those were really the focus.

But of course, it was very different in some ways than my other films, in terms of the amount of information that was publicly available about this person. And you’re right that people have all kinds of preconceptions about Taylor Swift.

I think my favorite thing about the movie is how much we get to watch Taylor just work! Documentaries about artists’ processes fascinate me, and that’s a huge part of this movie. We get to just watch her write songs. I think it may also help show some skeptics she’s the real deal as a songwriter, especially for people who assume she’s just a manufactured pop star because she’s young and pretty and successful.

No one had ever filmed with her in the studio before.

Ever?

Ever. She had occasionally used her own cellphone to film, which you see a little bit of in the film.

It was fun for me, as a creative person too, to see the process. She’s always recording voice memos, or writing notes of lyrics in her phone. You have to do this as a writer — you have to catch ideas as they come. She’s such a pro at that.

It’s fun to watch someone who’s just been such an extraordinary songwriter for 15 years, who has the craft down. I loved watching that. But no one had ever filmed with her in the studio before, so it was a process. I went in alone with a camera and planted myself in the corner. On day two, I might move around a little more. On day three, I might bring in a sound recordist. I try to make as small of a footprint as possible — just me, or me and one other person, in the room.

It was a challenge. But I think in the end, she came to enjoy having us there. It’s different, but in my past films, with sensitive filming situations, I’ve tried to just be still and radiate support. I know I’m not invisible, and I’m not going to disappear. But I can become part of the process in a silent way.

That’s the funny thing about documentary — it’s kind of like a science experiment. Things change under observation. But I do wonder, since Taylor is so used to the spotlight, if it’s different in her case. Did you feel like she was more or less aware of the cameras, aware of managing her image for the cameras, than someone else might have been?

You’d have to ask her, honestly. I think my presence felt different than those of other people filming her have been in the past. I mean, this is someone who has paparazzi after her all the time. And just seeing a camera out of nowhere — it’s scary. A camera has the potential to be a destructive — and has been — a destructive force in her life. The microscope she’s been put under by the media and by the public, and it’s not just about her music. It’s about her as a person. She is without peers, in a lot of ways. She’s writing all her own songs. A totally self-created artist who’s been doing this for 15 years, at the top of her game.

But to say she has no peers is both a compliment and a quandary, because there aren’t a lot of role models to look at. She’s doing this under intense layers of public scrutiny, both about her as an artist and a person. And she’s somehow managed to maintain her humanity and her sense of humor despite all of that. That was amazing for me to see.

I think some people are going to assume she really managed this portrait of her, too. Which might be because you don’t really appear in the documentary.

Yes. I don’t put myself in my documentaries. I never have. There’s one point in the film where you hear my voice, and that was the idea of one of our editors, Lindsay Utz. I thought it was a great idea.

It’s you asking Taylor a follow-up question, right?

Yeah. She says there’s no such thing as a bitch or a slut, and then apologizes, then asks herself why she’s apologizing. You can hear me saying, “Well, we’re trained to say sorry.” It was a great thing to have in there, because it relates to something a lot of women experience. If you speak out too much or go too far, or you’re too strong or assertive, you’re like, “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. Did I offend you? Is that okay?”

Taylor really wanted a director to bring her perspective to the documentary, and working with her, I felt like I had the freedom to tell the story. So I don’t put myself in my movies, but I do feel like I chose the story I wanted to tell.

And when I showed her the film, she loved it. She was never not game for anything. She didn’t have some plan for what the documentary should be. She really wanted someone to come in, film her life, and then make a story.

There’s something very comforting about that idea, of having someone else make sense of your own journey.

I think a lot of documentary subjects agree to be in films because they’re curious about the story they’ll be told about their life. They want an outside perspective. I mean, that’s part of why I go to therapy. My therapist is telling me a novel about my life, and I learn so much from that. I think it can be similar with documentary subjects. I saw this person going through this transformational chapter in her life that was a moment of reflection and self-assessment.

That’s why I wanted to bookend the film with her looking at her childhood diary. I wanted to start it in a provocative way, where we’re situating ourselves in her inner voice.

I wanted the movie to start in a way that would signal this movie is going to be different from other pop star movies, by having us hear her, over images of her at the peak of her fame, saying, “I became the person who everyone wanted me to be.” I always knew I wanted to end the film with her walking back out to the stage, back out into the public eye. Putting her art out there — putting herself out there again — but with this new self-knowledge and self-awareness.

I think that it’s brave of her to do this documentary, because she’s not someone who needs to do this. She had the bestselling album on earth last year. But I think she wants to be able to communicate with people.

And there’s so much that I hope is comforting and inspiring and relatable for so many people in sharing this experience with them. Even though a lot of it is hard.

I think people have this idea that stars who got famous when they were young are just born with that ability, that they’re never dealing with fear or self-doubt. Miss Americana really complicates that narrative, making us clear of how much fear and need to please has been part of her life.

We’re all trying to be confident people in the world. You might be a creative person putting your work out there. Or you might need to have a difficult conversation with your family that you’ve been avoiding, which we also see Taylor do in the film. We’re all trying to find ways to be true to ourselves and be confident people, but we all inevitably have insecurities and challenges. I wanted to show all of that contradiction and complexity in this movie.

#this is a ''tiny'' bit long... but a fun read #Vox #interview #Lana Wilson #about taylor #spoilers #taylor swift #Taylor Swift: Miss Americana #sundance 2020 #lover era

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hamliet · 4 years

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Girls Don’t Want Boys, Girls Want Monsters: Netflix’s The Witcher Review

Finally, the show we deserve.

Men get all their superhero power fantasies of kicking villain ass. Finally there’s a story that has that and includes women’s emotional power fantasies about falling in love with monsters who change. It doesn’t treat either as ridiculous or limited by gender, either, since Geralt falls for a monster too and women get to kick ass as well.

Essentially, it’s a story about defeating monsters: often through integration with the shadow, sometimes involving love and connection, sometimes violence, but the violence is never glorified. It’s good.

NB: I’m in the middle of reading the books (in the middle of Blood of Elves so far). I haven’t played the game since video games aren’t really a medium I enjoy. So I’ll make some comparisons since the show covered the two books I’ve read thus far, but please don’t put spoilers for the books below!

Let’s talk my favorite aspect of every story: characters.

Renfri.

Her story was somewhat sanitized from the books (it’s a lot more brutal what happened to Renfri) but well adapted. Both versions--the book and show--depict sincere empathy for our deconstructed Snow White. I loved her dialogue with Geralt, in which Geralt praises her for escaping the huntsman her stepmother hired to kill her, and she laughs and says that she didn’t. He let her go, but not before raping and robbing her. The story never directly answers if the prophecy was true or not; Geralt doesn’t believe it, but a lot of things Geralt doubts turn out to be true. Renfri was supposedly attacking animals as a child; however, the person reporting that is highly unlikely to be unbiased (Stregobor) so is this even true? Did Renfri become a killer because she was horribly abused and left with no other option? (That’s the option that I think seems most likely.)

We can’t know. The Witcher isn’t interested in giving its audience palatable answers. It’s interested in provoking questions. The show gives more answers than do the books, again likely due to the medium, but it still lets these questions linger.

Renfri’s story is not the first one in the books, but it is the first one the show adapts, and that’s a good decision imo. Her story embodies The Witcher’s themes and questions:

By acting the monster, we make monsters out of others.

To defeat monsters, you must be a monster.

What, then, can heal, especially in a world so broken?

Ciri.

Our deconstructed Rapunzel (yes, there are a lot of fairy tale references). As far as her story goes in its adaptation, the addition of Dara was well done. Sadly, no, Dara is not in the books, but his addition gave Ciri an arc beyond merely running in this story.

That said, Ciri in the books is much younger than she is in the show. Which is okay, because Ciri is somewhat emblematic of the future: there’s a lot unknown about her powers, she needs to be protected from everyone trying to grab her and use her powers for themselves. She is Geralt’s destiny, and she is the future of the world of The Witcher.

NB: I can’t discuss Ciri without shouting out to the casting director for casting Pavetta: how did they find an actress who looks so much like Ciri’s actress? It’s almost eerie.

The episode where Geralt finds out about the Law of Surprise and his reaction to Pavetta’s pregnancy is perhaps the only story that I felt was better in the show than in the books (again, this isn’t inherently a quality thing but a medium preference). It added some much-needed hilarity (Geralt’s perfectly-timed “destiny can go f--” *Pavetta vomits* and all he can say is, “fuck”) and gave Geralt an arc.

Geralt.

Mm.

I liked how they handled his character and his struggles with what it means to be a Witcher and/or human. His struggles to understand himself are relatable, and fairly well set-up for future exploration. He’s a foil of Ciri, Yennefer, Jaskier, and Cahir so far, and I’m particularly intrigued by the monster theme and the foiling that is already set up thus with all of the above except Jaskier (who is no monster). Geralt was skeptical about saving the striga for her father, but managed to succeed, and I wonder if he will somehow be able to save himself from his own inner fears/monster by being a father. (Basically, I am curious as to how being Ciri’s de factor dad is going to challenge him.)

Jaskier.

Or, Dandelion, as he’s known in the books. The bard adds some much needed levity to the tale, and as @aspoonofsugar says, he’s pretty much Donkey from Shrek. But he is used fairly well within the story: he shows Geralt even before Ciri and Yennefer enter his life that he has a purpose beyond being a killing machine. In that sense he’s the foil of Renfri (Renfri accomplishes the same, but through violence) in that Geralt saves him and he clearly thinks highly of the Witcher. Jaskier is in some ways humanity in all its paradoxes and foibles, annoying and stupid, kind and clever, funny and truthful, deceptive and respectful.

Cahir.

I’m a sucker for ravens as part of an aesthetic, as well as pretty, tormented bad boys. Yes, I know he’s a character I’m sure will arouse much handwringing and puritanical policing a la his other archetype brothers (Loki, Kylo Ren, Snape, etc). I don’t care. I do think the show made him much darker when compared to the books, but I still expect his arc to go in the same direction as the books. He’s a complicated, conflicted, complex character, and I’m not sorry for feeling empathy for him.

But I am curious about his foiling with Geralt. Both are characters seeking Ciri to fulfill... something, and monstrous in a way (Cahir more for what he does, but there’s a humanity to him as well).

Yennefer.

Finally, my favorite, my baby murder daughter.

Yennefer’s character was fascinating. I appreciated that she’s allowed to want deeply, her own wants, instead of attaching her wants to be whatever the male character desires. She wants to have children. She wants love. She wants to be beautiful. Her desires are traditionally feminine, and the show doesn’t put this down. And she also kicks ass and takes names, she fails, she’s allowed to be angry, to be mean often, to want to learn and to want to be the best.

The show doesn’t punish Yennefer for her ambition. Neither do the books. She experiences consequences, both positive and negative, for her every choice. The show reveals her backstory right away, whereas the books don’t, but again that’s a medium thing. I think both do excellently in setting up Yennefer for our empathy. It doesn’t apologize for her or her wants or actions; it lets her arc and the story itself do the talking.

Yennefer’s not here to be your cautionary tale or your role model. She’s just there to be her and to live.

That is, to an extent, perhaps the best kind of role model.

That doesn’t mean the show did everything in Yennefer’s story justice. I wasn’t thrilled with the adaptation of her first meeting with Geralt--the orgy in the background isn’t in the books and is a very bizarre decision given context. While, I loved Tissaia’s character and her foiling with Yennefer: they are too alike to ever get along, I really didn’t understand the point of Tissaia turning the other girls into slugs in episode 2. It was unsettling and not in the books. It was a heavy-handed metaphor not explained until episode 7 (about treating people as expendable slugs) that didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know about how the world and Dark!Hogwarts worked. If anything it made the school seem foolishly cackling-mustache evil instead of the true current of darkness within it: manipulation and utilitarianism. As part of effort to control things, that control itself can lead to chaos.

I think the rest of the series set this precise dilemma of a precarious balance between self-control and manipulation/utilitarianism quite well, though (it goes hand-in-hand with the theme of a “lesser evil” to quote Renfri’s story). I’m excited to see this explored more.

Other comments:

When comparing the show to the books as I’ve read so far, I think the show made some smart changes for adapting to a visual medium. For example, Foltest and Adda’s story was adapted as a mystery: what is the monster? Who is the father? Who is the curser? Can the monster be saved? Whereas the book doesn’t do that: you know immediately that the monster is a striga, Foltest is the father, and he wants the striga saved. The answer to who cursed Adda is never clear in the written story either, whereas the show declares it was Ostrit (the book leaves it very much up in the air as to whether it was Ostrit or Adda’s mother). However, the way this particular episode weaves Adda’s story of rebirth with Yennefer’s rebirth was beautifully done. (Foltest is a good dad. We need more good dads in stories; of course, if we had more good dads, we’d have far less stories.) (I’m jesting.)

The dialogue is at times... well it’s not like it’s The Rise of Skywalker levels of “who wrote this???” but it’s not always stellar. Actually, I’d say the quality tends to swing wildly about between clever (episode 4) and just confusing (episode 5). But in general, I think the dialogue issue is representative of the show’s largest issue: it struggles to know when to trust its audience. When should it give details? When should it trust them? When is it spoonfeeding, and when is it just confusing? It tries to walk a fine line and stumbles a bit. It succeeds, however, with the characters as I mentioned earlier with Yennefer, Geralt, and Ciri.

My advice for the show going forward (not that they should definitely listen to me) is to forget Game of Thrones. It’s pretty obvious that this show is a passion project made by people who love The Witcher. I really hope they lean into that aspect instead of into the GoT-replacement aspect (because there are definitely aspects of that, particularly in the mood/aesthetic, tone, and gratuitous nudity--which is not exploitative or disturbing, but it also wasn’t necessary, isn’t in the books, and so felt like pandering).

However, the sheer love for the material still really shines through. They made me care for the characters, they interested me in the world, and they have me hooked for season 2. The showrunners’ excitement for the story and adoration of its characters is contagious, and I hope the show lets this excitement spread.

#the witcher #netflix's the witcher #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #cahir #ciri #princess cirilla #hamliet reviews #jaskier #renfri

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margot-stanley · 3 years

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INTRODUCING MARGOT STANLEY

[BEANIE FELDSTEIN, F, SHE/HER] who’s that? oh it’s {MARGOT STANLEY}. i hear they’re {17} and a {JUNIOR} at {CRAWFORD COUNTRY DAY}, have a voice like {SHOSHANA BEAN} and are part of {THE CANARIES}. they’re known to be {+AMBITIOUS, +TALENTED} and {-SELFISH, -JUDGMENTAL}. some people say they remind them of {a strict schedule, a loud mouth, show tunes and power ballads, never letting them see you cry, and always speaking your mind}. only one way to find out! [ria, 26, pst...smh]

BASICS

Full Name: Margot Marie Stanley

Nickname: N/A

Birthday: September 16

Age: 17

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Hometown: Westerville, OH

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Grade: 11th

School: Crawford Country Day

Occupation / Activities: Student / The Canaries

LIKES/DISLIKES

LIKES: being the best, strict schedules, accomplishing a goal, working smart, sutton foster, musical theater, opportunities to showcase her talent, people magazine’s ‘sexiest man alive,’ attention, praise, romance, tea (the drinking kind),

DISLIKES: rejection, being undermined, sports, high school, body shaming, social hierarchies

TL;DR BIO

Margot Marie Stanley is the daughter of notorious choreographer Dakota Stanley and suburban local Monica Lerner-Stanley. While her parents are technically still married, their marriage is...non-traditional to say the least. Dakota resides in Los Angeles where he takes many male lovers while Monica remains in Westerville, taking care of Margot and engaging in affairs of her own. It’s an arrangement that works for them, even though Margot hates it. Margot has a one track mind and her sole goal is to finish high school and book a one-way ticket to the big apple where she will pursue her Broadway dreams with a vengeance. In the meantime, she will continue bulldozing her way through community theater productions and trying to take over the Canaries so that maybe they can actually win for once.

FULL BIO

Margot Marie Stanley is the daughter of notorious choreographer Dakota Stanley and suburban local Monica Lerner-Stanley. Monica was the definition of someone who peaked in high school. In her hay day, she was popular, she was beautiful, and boy could she dance. After high school, she went to college for dance where she met Dakota while he was teaching a seminar. They had a whirlwind romance but ultimately, they went their separate ways. Years later, by chance, Dakota was back in Ohio for a dance competition and they reconnected. At this point, Monica was a hasbeen. Still beautiful and still a joy to be around, but her life hadn’t amounted into much at all. She was working as an administrative assistant at Howell Dentistry by day and a Breadstix waitress by night. But something about her charmed Dakota and now that he was older, he was ready to settle down.

Monica and Dakota got married and shortly after gave birth to their first and only child—Margot. Monica’s parents were always skeptical of the marriage and relationship because...well...anyone with eyes could see that Dakota was clearly gay. Monica, desperate to be loved and to have a family of her own, had overlooked the obvious signs and had chosen to be with the only man who had ever promised her commitment. Overtime though, the truth came to light and the couple was faced with an important decision: divorce or...stay together. It was the 21st century and weirder things had definitely happened. So, choosing the non-traditional route, Monica and Dakota decided to stay legally married for Margot’s sake (and for tax-purposes), but they opened their relationship.

Dakota moved to Los Angeles where the dance industry was booming and kept a long list of young, up-and-coming gay men as company. He called them his “business partners,” but Margot knew a sugar baby when she saw one. Monica, on the other hand, kept her affairs more low-key. She stuck to online dating and never saw the same man twice, but the revolving door of lovers that came through their house did build a little bit of resentment in Margot.

When it came to her parents, especially her mother, Margot often felt like the adult. Her mom was a mess and her dad was emotionally awol, so it was always up to her to pick up the pieces when things got complicated. Sometimes she wished they would just get a divorce so she wouldn’t have to dodge questions about them and make excuses for why her dad was in LA while she and her mother were in Westerville, OH. She wished they would just get a divorce so both of them could get a shot at genuine happiness.

Dakota and Monica didn’t see it that way though. Sure, their marriage was void of love, but they got to share the one thing that mattered to both of them the most: Margot. Even though they were separated, both Dakota and Monica considered Margot to be their greatest creation. Dakota poured money and resources into his daughter, enrolling her in dance, singing and acting lessons from an early age. Dakota Stanley made stars and winners and he’d be damned if his daughter wasn’t one of them. Monica, on the other hand, saw her daughter as a best friend. They were a team and no matter what happened, she believed they would be okay as long as they had each other.

Despite being a longtime choreographer for Vocal Adrenaline, Dakota Stanley would’ve rather died than send his own child to a public school. Monica never would’ve been able to afford tuition for Crawford Country Day on her own, but with Dakota’s money, it was possible and then some. On top of all the workload that came with attending one of the top high schools in Ohio, Margot’s schedule was packed with lessons that took place outside of school. She worked with top choreographers and highly sought after vocal and acting coaches, all with the intent to train her for her destiny—Broadway. Ever since she was a little girl, her father instilled in her the desire to be a star. When she got a little older and it became obvious that she had talent, Dakota poured a hefty portion of his expendable income into resources for his child. Monica, having shared some of those dreams when she was younger, supported Margot fully...although she feared her daughter would one day be disappointed.

Margot didn’t share her mother’s fears. Sure, she appreciated the concern, but she was going to be a star. It was as true as the grass was green and the sky was blue. She had worked hard for it her entire life and all that effort wouldn’t be for nothing. It couldn’t be. Up until Margot was about thirteen, she moved through the world confidently and with an unmatched certainty about her future. It wasn’t until her audition for Young Cosette in a Lima Player’s production of Les Miserables in the eighth grade that she got her first taste of rejection. Bryan Ryan, an unforgiving community theater director, had not been shy or kind when he told her that she didn’t look like a star and then promptly handed the role over to Kenna Giardi.

The comment and subsequent loss cut Margot like a knife. Luckily, she was strong and she still believed in herself. She didn’t need some washed-up, wannabe theater legend telling her what she looked like or what she could be. However...the further she got from that incident and the less she snagged lead roles...the more she feared that he’d been right. The theater community was small in Ohio and she quickly learned who the power players were. Because of this, it wasn’t lost on her that she didn’t look like Kenna or Gigi Stone or Ivy St. James. But she could sing circles around them all and she was a better actress by a landslide...at least in her eyes.

Each time Margot didn’t get a role she wanted, she became a little harder and more jaded. She just had to get through high school. Maybe her small town in Ohio couldn’t see her for the star she was, but New York would. People that mattered would, and as far as she was concerned? No one in Ohio mattered, especially not the girls she was in constant competition with. Margot’s superior attitude didn’t aid in her making friends, but who needed friends? Certainly not her. So Margot kept to herself. She auditioned and participated in the Lima Players productions as they came, she went to her lessons, and she did what she could do make sure she was a featured soloist for the Canaries. She was outspoken and bold and never shied away from giving her unsolicited opinions because as far as she was concerned, she knew best. If only the Canaries would just listen to her...then maybe they’d have an actual shot at earning a nationals title.

#crhq:intro

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calamity-bean · 4 years

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Barkskins (2020)

Lately I’ve been posting some gifs and such from a new show based (loosely, my impression is) on the Annie Proulx novel of the same name. I haven’t read the novel and knew very little about the show before I started, but I thought I’d post a bit about my impressions thus far, as of episode 1.04.

So! Barkskins is a period drama set in the late 17th century in what is now Quebec, centered around a remote little French settlement called Wobik. There are multiple plot threads at work, but the initial hook driving the narrative is the suspicious massacre of another nearby settlement. This mystery wraps around the lives of the varied people competing to survive and thrive in this corner of New France.

Short and spoiler-free opinion: I'm enjoying it so far! The tone is fairly dark and gritty, always with an edge of danger and even some hints of a sort of religious/folk horror element at work (we’ll see if that comes to anything meaningful, I suppose). The cast has a lot of talent, and based on what I’ve read, there does appear to have been a serious effort to value and involve indigenous voices throughout the creative process. Moreover, it’s a historical setting that interests me, and I like some of the characters a lot. I suspect that one of the biggest dangers this show runs, giving its fairly wide scope and limited number of episodes, is that it may fail to deliver on / fully develop everything it’s hinting at or touching upon... but we’ll see.

Longer description and opinions, potentially with vague/general spoilers, under the cut.

(there is a lot of focus on trees in this show. you may not have expected that from the name.)

Anyone who follows me would be forgiven for thinking that there are only two characters in this show, because I’ve only been posting the same two over and over. Shockingly, there are, in fact, more. Prominent ones so far include:

A traumatized young girl (Lola Reid) who is apparently one of the only survivors of the aforementioned massacre, yet no one recognizes her as being one of the people at that settlement.

Rene Sel and Charles Duquet (Christian Cooke and James Bloor), indentured servants newly arrived from France.

Claude Trepagnay (David Thewlis), an eccentric but ambitious French settler, and Mari (Kaniehtiio Horn), the underappreciated Wendat woman who lives with him.

Hamish Goames and Yvon Kirkpatrick (Aneurin Barnard and Zahn McClarnon) of the Hudson’s Bay Company, who are investigating the disappearance of a colleague. Goames is British, Yvon Anishinaabe.

Melissande and Delphine (Tallulah Haddon and Lily Sullivan), filles du roi brought from France to become wives of settlers.

Mathilde Geffard (Marcia Gay Harden), a no-nonsense and very observant French innkeeper, along with other townspeople of Wobik.

As you can see, most of the lead characters are white Europeans. Given the history of this era and the premise of the show, colonialism (and the conflicts/violence thereof) is naturally a major and inescapable part of the narrative. I was unsure, going in, how the show was going to handle the portrayal of Native characters and cultures. It’s not a topic I can offer personal insight into, as I’m white and not very educated in the irl history/cultures of this setting anyway, but it is a topic I care about. So I looked online to see what better informed people had to say.

This article by The 1491s’ Migizi Pensoneau discusses his involvement with the show (including his initial skepticism) and highlights the indigenous voices who contributed to Barkskins — including writers, actors, historians, and community leaders and advisors, both in the writing room and on location. In Pensoneau’s words:

“Barkskins” is still historical fiction told for television, involving multiple stakeholders and stories, and made within the studio world. In other words, it’s not perfect. But the Native spaces and Native people depicted were handled with just as much care, time, and investment as every other aspect of the show. Instead of a Hollywood producer shorting Native representation based on profitability, we placed as much control as possible into the hands of the communities depicted. The integrity with which we approached this task tells a better story, and I’m excited for everyone to see indigenous characters and communities portrayed on television in a new way.

Steeve Gros-Louis, director of the Huron-Wendat Sandokwa dance troupe, has also spoken positively about his experience of the show’s approach to his culture. Overall, I would definitely say that the story thus far has been told primarily through the lens of colonists. But there are characters from multiple indigenous cultures of the region, two of whom are leads, and general reactions to the portrayal of these characters/cultures seem positive.

(this shot was SO sepia before i adjusted it, like i did a lot and yet it is still very sepia, fair warning that this show’s indoor scenes often suffer from a chronic case of Everything In History Was Sepia.)

Most of the lead characters are also male, though there are about five prominent women so far. (...Honestly, I’ve watched period dramas with fewer.) Among these, I think an interesting phenomenon the show’s chosen to explore is the filles du roi — young women who’ve traveled from France at the king’s expense specifically to provide wives for the overwhelmingly male population of early settlers. These young women differ in personalities and motives but all seem to be very much alone in the world, and it seems clear that they have chosen this path in hope of better opportunities but are also anxious about how their lives in this “new world” will turn out. The show is closely following the journeys of two of them in particular (ambitious Melissande and shy Delphine, both of whom have secrets), and while it is a bit tiring that women in historical fiction are so often defined by their relation to a man, I appreciate that this storyline is about the wives themselves.

Personally, my two favorite characters so far are the Company men: Goames and Yvon. Goames is very much the sort of character I’m often drawn to, in terms of his manner and apparent worldview: “the implacable sort, rigid in his thoughts and actions,” serious and decent and imo with hints of a storyline challenging his loyalty to his institution, which has in the past been the sort of storyline I very much enjoy. (I uh, would be lying if I said I wasn’t also simply... drawn to Mr. Barnard in general.) Yvon stands out for his dry snark and eloquence and for the bigotry he runs into as a Native man operating within white spheres, which casts a pall over his generally unflappable demeanor, and I have a lot of curiosity about his background. Their partnership is a highlight of the show, imo, and I’m quite interested in where their storyline will go re: their individual character arcs as well as the overall narrative. I’m also particularly fond of Mari and Delphine.

(my BOYS! this is not an actual still from the show but look at Aneurin. look at his silly pose.)

As far as the content goes, I don’t think it’s been too egregious so far, but be advised:

Primary warning is for violence. It’s not overly gory, but there is fighting, blood, bodies, etc. One act of violence I will warn for specifically: in the first episode, a group of Iroquois men are killed (offscreen), and their bodies are displayed hanged and impaled. This is clearly presented as an atrocity, and the bodies are mostly shown from a distance so that they’re small and indistinct, but there are a couple close-up shots.

Also, as I’ve mentioned, characters such as Yvon and Mari do face racist treatment/remarks from white characters.

There has been a nongraphic instance of attempted sexual assault, which was successfully rebuffed.

So... yeah! At time of writing, half the season has aired — it airs Monday evenings on Nat Geo and goes up on Hulu Tuesday afternoon, and they seem to be airing two episodes a week, which is frankly annoying, I’d rather get either a proper savor or a proper binge. The reviews I’m seeing online are mostly positive (I’ve seen at least one trot out the dreaded “It’s the next GoT!” line, which I think is inaccurate re: its tone/focus and also, like, why are people still trying to say that as though it’s a good thing), and there seems to be a small little fandom getting started here on Tumblr. (Not that I’ve really met many of y’all yet. If you’re reading this, hi!) And while Proulx’s novel covers some 300 years — it’s one of those generational sagas, I gather, following characters and their distant descendants — thus far I’ve seen no indication that the show is going to be set up that way. I recall reading something that said they’d basically taken a small part of the novel and massively expanded the characters, etc., so for now, at least, I’m going to assume the show is staying within this one slice of history.

Anyway, though. I’ll admit I’ve not been devoting 100% of my attention to any given ep, as I gotta work on other things while I watch, but so far, it’s intriguing, it’s got a number of actors and characters I like in it, and I appreciate learning that it had input from a variety of indigenous contributors. Overall, I intend to continue seeing where it goes!

#barkskins #period drama #aneurin barnard #david thewlis #zahn mcclarnon #kaniehtiio horn #marcia gay harden #tallulah haddon #lily sullivan #christian cooke #james bloor #my meta #op

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liltimfrance · 4 years

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TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

New interview for German media (2020)

Translation

He is what Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 1990s. But Timothée Chalamet is not only enthusiastic as an actor. With his appearance, feminine and still male, he is also considered a model for a young generation. And he understands his work more politically than his predecessors did. Allow: the future of Hollywood!

NZZ am Sonntag magazine: Timothée, the story of a gay love "Call Me by Your Name" made you an international film star and earned you an Oscar nomination for best actor. What memory do you have of the evening in March 2018?

Timothée Chalamet: Oh, that was a fantastic evening! I went there with my mom, she was my date that evening. For me, a dream came true that day. I was so thankful to meet all these stars that I look up to. I had already met her at other events from time to time in the weeks before, so there was almost a buddy feeling - crazy! Friends of mine were also nominated, Saoirse Ronan and Greta Gerwig. And James Ivory even won an Oscar for our film, for the script. That was the most incredible moment.

In 2019 you were nominated a second time for the Golden Globe as the best supporting actor in «Beautiful Boy». Is that becoming the rule for you now?

I don't expect it in the near future. But of course I wouldn't mind if it works again at some point.

How has your life changed since the great success of "Call Me by Your Name"?

Oh, I don't think about that very much. I am happy that I have more options now and prefer to concentrate on doing good work and finding roles that challenge me. I've always been a violent film nerd, I grew up with indie films, I love this job - I was just extremely skeptical that young actors would get any chances out there. But the reactions from the audience confirm that it is worth being an actor. You can inspire people like that. We really wanted to say something with “The King” too. I love the language of the film alone - it is a cross between Shakespeare and “Game of Thrones”.

The drama “The King” deals with political issues such as abuse of power, manipulation, betrayal and trust. Did you learn anything personally from the subject?

When I was playing I noticed something: power feels very different than you think. Because you always feel yourself as a normal person, never as an overpowering figure or one of the most important drivers in the world. There are no machines even in the control centers of world politics. When I was in my costume and had to take on this leading role, I felt exactly like my young regent, who is faced with great tasks and challenges and who is not sure whether he can master them.

How does a young man, who carries a film of several million on his shoulders, who is quite slim by permission, deal with self-doubt? Didn't the heavy armor bring you to your knees, not to mention that you wielded the sword for hours?

The director wanted dirty, hard sword fights, and that's exactly what we shot. I gained a good seven kilos of muscle for this role. Of course I'm far from being a handsome warrior. If the director had wanted that, he would have taken another one. What we paid attention to was the attitude with which I went to war. It shouldn't be an invincible king, but one who just barely survives. The bottom line is that he still faces the fight. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun with it. I was able to bring the ten-year-old to life in me.

Even if “The King” is not a superhero movie but a modern allegory, many young people will probably only watch the film for your sake.

Phew, it can be, of course I don't know. But if I can make these important issues accessible to the masses, then I'm happy. It's about what makes power out of people who only came to this position through privileges or their family tree. Yes, I was still at school six years ago and I remember how hard the teachers tried in vain to get us excited about politics. Today it really worries me which regents are currently in power.

You've been dating Lily-Rose Depp since the shoot. Now you are both considered new Hollywood royalties like Brangelina once. How do you like being such a modern prince?

Now I have to think carefully about what I say. Modern Prince: Somehow this description doesn't suit me at all. My career was not a straight line that quickly led to great success. I would describe it as a zigzag. I always chose very different projects, sometimes they ran better, sometimes worse. First I made small independent films. It was only last year that the projects suddenly got bigger, but "The King" and "Dune" were not filmed in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Honestly? I don't even feel like a movie star.

Do you still feel the pressure from your fans? Do you want to live up to expectations?

No. What I feel is really just a big thank you. Because films are important. I believe that films can change the world. You are just my big love. I am incredibly happy that they obviously want to see me in it. It's fantastic how much films can move, isn't it? I remember seeing the Oscar-winning drama "Moonlight" in a sold-out movie theater and how it was felt after the show how deeply the whole audience was touched by the story. I work to make moments like this possible!

And what about your own life? Do you also allow space for all the successes?

To be honest, I struggle quite a bit: to find a kind of balance or rhythm between my complete dedication to playing and a normal one - if there is any! - Development of my living conditions. At 24, that's easier than when I'm 17. But I still have no idea what is good for me, apart from playing.

How old were you when you realized you really wanted to be an actor?

13 years. That was in high school in New York, we had an acting class that I was enrolled in. And after a few hours it was clear to me: "That's my thing!" But maybe it wasn't that coincidental. I grew up in the show business environment. ,

Your mother was a dancer, your uncle is director Rodman Flender, your grandfather is screenwriter Harold Flender, and you went to the acting and art specialist high school La Guardia, along with Madonna's daughter Lourdes. , ,, , ,

But what really shaped me was the experience of performing something on stage with other people and thus generating deep emotions. When I finished high school, I immediately looked for an agent and started going to auditions. During an audition I met a colleague who had just got a small role in a TV series. That was when I felt my ambition for the first time: I wanted to achieve something. I really wanted to be part of a really good project, whether on TV, cinema or theater. ,

In any case, you've worked hard over the past few months.

But how! After “The King” came Greta Gerwig's historical drama “Little Women”, followed by Wes Anderson's “The French Dispatch”, and finally the sci-fi adventure “Dune” for six months in a row. That was a lot, but I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunities. The good thing is that you don't have time to think about all the work, you just concentrate on the task in front of you. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Who is a source of inspiration for you personally?

Talented colleagues with whom I work, for example Greta Gerwig, with whom I have already made two films.

What seduced you to “Little Women”, which now starts in late January?

Greta as director and Saoirse Ronan as main actress, whom I also knew from Ladybird before. We are already something of a gang. I am very proud of “Little Women” and will soon see it together with Saoirse, that has already been agreed.

Do you mind if fans are more interested in your amours than in your work?

What can I say? I can hardly influence what people think. Fortunately, it doesn't feel like many are interested in me privately. I know that it can be dangerous for young people if they focus too much on what the public thinks about them. So I decided to just focus on my job and my work.

What is going on in you when you are greeted and cheered by thousands at premieres in Toronto, Venice or anywhere else in the world?

In Venice I was just happy that so many, especially young people came to the premiere. It's not like people go crazy every night when I leave the house. A premiere like this is an exceptional situation, and that's exactly how I perceive it. It is not real life.

#Timothee Chalamet #timothée chalamet #little women #life #personal life #interview #2020

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lastsonlost · 4 years

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LAST APRIL, Tara Reade watched as a familiar conversation around her former boss, Joe Biden, and his relationship with personal space unfolded on the national stage. Nevada politician Lucy Flores alleged that Biden had inappropriately sniffed her hair and kissed the back of her head as she waited to go on stage at a rally in 2014. Biden, in a statement in response, said that “not once” in his career did he believe that he had acted inappropriately. But Flores’s allegation sounded accurate to Reade, she said, because Reade had experienced something very similar as a staffer in Biden’s Senate office years earlier.

After she saw an episode of the ABC show “The View,” in which most of the panelists stood up for Biden and attacked Flores as politically motivated, Reade decided that she had no choice but to come forward and support Flores. She gave an interview to a local reporter, describing several instances in which Biden had behaved similarly toward her, inappropriately touching her during her early-’90s tenure in his Senate office. In that first interview, she decided to tell a piece of the story, she said, that matched what had happened to Flores — plus, she had filed a contemporaneous complaint, and there were witnesses, so she considered the allegation bulletproof.

The short article brought a wave of attention on her,

along with accusations that she was doing the bidding of Russian President Vladimir Putin. So Reade went quiet.

As the campaign went on, Reade, who first supported Sen. Elizabeth Warren and then Sen. Bernie Sanders, began to reconsider staying silent. She thought about the world she wanted her daughter to live in and decided that she wanted to continue telling her story and push back against what she saw as online defamation. To get legal help, and manage what she knew from her first go-around would be serious backlash, she reached out to the organization Time’s Up, established in the wake of the #MeToo movement to help survivors tell their stories.

The Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund was the recipient of an outpouring of donations over the past two-plus years, and is set up as a 501(c)3 nonprofit housed within the National Women’s Law Center. It was launched in December 2017 and was the most successful GoFundMe in the site’s history, raising more than $24 million. Among the accusers backed so far by Time’s Up are some of those assaulted by Harvey Weinstein, as well scores of others with allegations against executives in male-dominated industries. The group has committed more than $10 million toward funding cases.

In January of this year, Reade spoke with a program director at NWLC and was encouraged by the conversation. The fact that she was a Sanders supporter and had come forward previously in incomplete fashion didn’t dissuade Time’s Up. The program director referred her to outside attorneys, Reade said, and suggested that the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund might be able to provide funding for PR and subsidize legal assistance.

The program director shared with Reade the note she planned to forward to attorneys, which read, in part:

She began publicly sharing the harassment she experienced in April 2019 but was attacked … online including by Richard Painter (Univ. of MN law professor who worked in the Obama administration) and journalist Edward-Isaac Dovere for being a Russian operative. There is more to the story of the harassment that she did not feel safe sharing at that time. She is looking for support in sharing her story and guidance on any possible legal action she may be able to take against online harassers. [Editor’s note: Painter served in the Bush, not Obama, administration, and ran for Senate in 2018 as a Democrat.]

The references to Dovere, a reporter with The Atlantic, and Painter stem from their Twitter posts that highlighted favorable comments Reade had made about Putin in a now-deleted post on Medium. “What if I told you that everything you learned about Russia was wrong?” she had written in one 2018 post. “President Putin scares the power elite in America because he is a compassionate, caring, visionary leader. … To President Putin, I say keep your eyes to the beautiful future and maybe, just maybe America will come to see Russia as I do, with eyes of love. To all my Russian friends, happy holiday and Happy New Year.”

Reade says that she learned about Russia and Putin through a Russian friend in her creative-writing group; she is currently writing a novel set in Russia. She wrote the post in the spirit of world peace and solidarity with her friend, she said, adding that the writing should have nothing to do with her allegation. Reade’s leftist mother had raised her to oppose American imperialism and be skeptical of American exceptionalism. She hoped that Time’s Up would be able to help push back against the attacks she knew would be coming.

By February, she learned from a new conversation with Time’s Up, which also involved Director Sharyn Tejani, that no assistance could be provided because the person she was accusing, Biden, was a candidate for federal office, and assisting a case against him could jeopardize the organization’s nonprofit status.

On February 11, the NWLC program director wrote to Reade that she “wanted to let you know that after our conversation I talked further with our Director, Sharyn Tejani, about our ability to offer funding or public relations support in your case. Unfortunately, the Fund’s decision remains the same. … Please know how much I appreciate your courage in speaking out and appreciate what you shared over the phone, that you are speaking out so that your daughter and other young people can start their careers free of harassment.”

When reached for comment by The Intercept, the program director Reade had spoken to referred questions to a NWLC spokesperson, Maria Patrick, who said that the organization has legal constraints. “As a nonprofit 501(c)(3) charitable organization, the National Women’s Law Center is restricted in how it can spend its funds, including restrictions that pertain to candidates running for election,” Patrick responded, when asked why the organizing declined to provide funds to Reade. “Our decision on whether or not to provide certain types of support to an individual should not be interpreted as our validation or doubt of the truthfulness of the person’s statements. Regardless, our support of workers who come forward regarding workplace sexual harassment remains unwavering.”

By February, Reade learned that no assistance could be provided because Biden was a candidate for federal office, and assisting a case against him, Time’s Up said, could jeopardize the organization’s nonprofit status.

Ruling out federal candidates marks as off-limits any member of Congress running for reelection, as well as President Donald Trump. Ellen Aprill, a professor of tax law at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles, said that Time’s Up’s analysis is too conservative, and the group wouldn’t be putting its tax-exempt status at risk by taking a case involving a candidate for federal office as long as it followed its standard criteria for taking on cases. “As a legal matter, if the group is clear regarding the criteria used as to whom it is taking to court, show that these are long-established neutral criteria, and they are being applied to individuals completely independent of their running for office, it would not be a violation of tax law. Groups are allowed to continue to do what they have always done,” she said.

The public relations firm that works on behalf of the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund is SKDKnickerbocker, whose managing director, Anita Dunn, is the top adviser to Biden’s presidential campaign. A spokesperson for Biden declined to comment. The SKDK spokesperson assigned to Time’s Up referred questions back to the NWLC.

As for influencing the election, Reade said that she was deeply conflicted about continuing to come forward, given that Biden’s opponent in the general election is someone she sees as far worse politically. “I don’t want to help Trump. But what can I do?” she said. “All I can do is stand on my truth.”

Update: March 26, 2020 Reade has given an interview with podcast host Katie Halper, describing her time in Biden’s office, and what she described as a sexual assault in 1993. At the time, she told her mother, brother, and a friend who worked in Sen. Ted Kennedy’s office about the incident. Her mother has since passed away, but both her friend and brother told The Intercept they recalled hearing about it from her at the time. Reade’s friend, who asked to remain anonymous so as not to be part of the public blowback, said she discouraged Reade from coming forward at all, concerned that she would be attacked and would never get the apology she was hoping for. Reade and her brother, Collin Moulton, both said that their mother urged her to call the police, but her brother urged her to move on instead. “Woefully, I did not encourage her to follow up,” he said. “I wasn’t one of her better advocates. I said let it go, move on, guys are idiots.” (Moulton, who lives in Georgia, said he voted for Gary Johnson in 2016 and has no intention to vote for either Biden or Donald Trump.)

The experience in Biden’s office derailed her life, Reade’s friend said. “Back then people assumed girls just get over it,” she said. “But no, it plants a seed and lives can spin out of control. Yes, everybody’s an adult, but guess what, so is he.” At the time, there was just no way that Reade’s effort to right the wrong could succeed, her friend said, but this time, she’s determined to be heard. “It was the ‘90s,” she said. “There was no Me Too. There was no Time’s Up.”

Update: March 27, 2020

The Biden campaign has denied the allegation, releasing two statements, one from Communications Director Kate Bedingfield and the other from former executive assistant to then-Senator Biden Marianne Baker, who served him from 1982-2000.

Bedingfield’s statement:

Women have a right to tell their story, and reporters have an obligation to rigorously vet those claims. We encourage them to do so, because these accusations are false.

Baker’s statement:

For nearly 20 years, I worked as Senator Biden’s executive assistant and supervised dozens of employees who reported to me. I took very seriously my duties with respect to human resources, following the direction of a Senator whose insistence on a professional workplace was embedded in our culture. In all my years working for Senator Biden, I never once witnessed, or heard of, or received, any reports of inappropriate conduct, period — not from Ms. Reade, not from anyone. I have absolutely no knowledge or memory of Ms. Reade’s accounting of events, which would have left a searing impression on me as a woman professional, and as a manager. These clearly false allegations are in complete contradiction to both the inner workings of our Senate office and to the man I know and worked so closely with for almost two decades.

#Joe Biden #creepy uncle joe

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