swiss-cheeze

[swiss-cheeze]

Eddie, reading a question in the chat of his live-stream: Which member of the party was the mom friend? Oh, easy. It was Steve.

Steve: …uh, no. Wrong. I was not friends with any of you dorks.

Eddie: Then why were you always around?

Steve: I was a hostage.

Steve: If anyone was the mom friend, it was Nancy.

Eddie: No, Nancy is the friend you take with you if you’re trying to uncover a government conspiracy

Steve: Yeah, just like a mom. If the mom you’re talking about is Joyce Byers.

[swiss-cheeze]

always bestie always @toonietoon36

[swiss-cheeze]

• “La liberté guidant le peuple” by Eugène Delacroix

and

• “13th attempt to break the Gaza blockade by sea”. Photo by Mustafa Hassouna (Andalou Agency for Getty)

[swiss-cheeze]

TWO HOURS AGO: an incredible photo taken by a ut austin student capturing something deeply poetic in my opinion, a line of state troopers eagerly waiting to arrest student protesters standing just behind a sign that reads "what starts here changes the world. its starts with you and what you do each day."

[swiss-cheeze]

Being a transman bottom rules actually. You can shove so much in my holes, I have three after all.

[swiss-cheeze]

Eddie, shoving his phone in Steve’s face: Stevie, baby. Would you still love me if I shaved my head?

Steve:

Eddie:

Steve:

Eddie: Steve?

Steve: I’m thinking about it

Eddie:

Steve: Okay

Steve: I would still love you but I would not be happy with your decisions.

[swiss-cheeze]

y’all i had this cute idea for making shitty abstract pride flags and i love them

[swiss-cheeze]

Steve, in the background of one of Eddie’s videos: It cost zero dollars not to be a raging asshole to me today.

Dustin: How much does it cost to be a raging asshole to you? Specifically today.

Steve: It’s about to cost you your life, Henderson

[swiss-cheeze]

dom boyfriend who wears a thick collar and leash that is held by a polite-looking sub boyfriend who gets bent over and fucked mercilessly when they're alone

[swiss-cheeze]

Eddie’s live-streaming from the front porch where he’s sitting on their porch swing, playing guitar. So Eddie did not bring his followers into their neighborhood drama. Steve did.

You can see Steve pass in front of the camera a few times before you hear him loudly ask, “What?”

There’s a pause and then he’s like, “I can’t hear you!”

Eddie looks up and over towards the yard but he doesn’t stop playing. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in the conversation going on at all. His chat on the other hand are thrilled to be able to hear Dan say, “Got myself a ring camera. It records the porch and the driveway and sends the video to my phone if it detects movement. So if any vandalism happens…I’ll know.”

Steve: Okay…? And I have a gun

Eddie: *experiences twelve different flavors of ‘what now?’*

Dan: Is that a threat?

Steve: No. I thought we were both just stating facts about home security no one cares about.

Steve: You can go now. Bye.

Eddie, stopping Steve before he goes back inside: Babe, you don’t actually have a gun, right?

Steve:

Eddie: Stevie, you once almost took my head off with a baseball bat full of nails in your sleep. You did NOT buy a gun.

Steve:

Steve: Are you stupid? Why would buy a gun when I could borrow one from Nancy?

Steve: *goes inside*

Eddie:

Eddie: That didn’t answer my question, Steve!

[swiss-cheeze]

[swiss-cheeze]

Someone on TikTok posted a video that’s like, “I think Eddie Munson has a Tumblr account.”

Their evidence? A clip from a video Mike posted complaining about being dragged out of the house at ass o’clock in the morning to go hiking. In the background you can hear Eddie say, “It’s fucking wimdy out here.”

Someone stitched their video with one of Corroded Coffin on a podcast like, “I think you’re onto something.”

In the clip, Eddie’s reading out the instructions for a game but fucks the entire sentence up. He pauses, takes a breath, and then mutters, “How dare you say I piss on the poor” and then begins again.

Someone else stitches the original video with the most damning evidence of all. They’re at the grocery store and go up to Eddie. They ask for his autograph and tell them that his music means a lot to them, and Eddie is really receptive and nice.

She notices his rainbow shoestrings and says, “Oh, those are cool. I like your shoelaces.”

Eddie says, “Thanks, I stole th-“

“Eddie!” Steve shouts from the checkout lane, “C’mon, we have ice cream!”

“Sorry, gotta go. Nice to meet you.”

[swiss-cheeze]

in the woods somewhere

Jasper Hale x reader, Major Whitlock x reader

summary: when the Major comes out to play, you have to run and hope he doesn't find you || warnings: stalking, kidnapping? || words: 598 || masterlist

The sweat was sticking to your flushed skin as you ran. You could feel your heart beat in your ears, the blood rushing with every step. The cold night sent shivers through you, cooling your soaked skin. The moon shone through the trees, illuminating small patches of the ground in front of you.

You couldn't stop running. A jutting branch sent you tumbling to the ground, sprawling your limbs in every direction. But you couldn't stop running. Not now. You raised yourself back up onto shaking legs and kept going. It wouldn't be far now.

Behind you, the leaves rustled loudly. You stood still, like prey caught in a trap. Was it the woods speaking or was it him? The rustling seemed to move away, gradually getting quieter and quieter. A memory pushed itself to the forefront of your mind.

Screaming. The overlapping memories of people screaming in pain, in fear and as they died.

You run faster, jumping over roots and small bushes, looking back over your shoulder every chance you could. The trees ended in a clearing, leaving you out in the open. The world span as you suddenly stopped running, your heart hammering and breath trembling.

A sharp stone caught on your foot and you lifted it to hold in front of you. The leaves all around rustled in a symphony. There was no singular source, it was everywhere. Suddenly, a pair of yellow eyes met yours. Golden eyes that usually hold such warm were hardened and mean.

"Major..."

At the utterance of his name, the Major lunged for you, jumping from his high tree perch. Your eyes widened, stone dropping to the ground as you turned and ran as fast as your heart could handle. Fear gripped you as you glanced behind you. He wasn't there.

A hand caught your upper arm and span you back around. He was standing right in front of you. You struggled against his hold but he stood firm. Nothing could get you away from him now.

"Please." You beg, tears slowly springing in your eyes. Without a word, the Major raised a hand and wiped them away.

He grinned as you flinch away from his touch. "Now now sweetheart," his Texan drawl was dark and sinister. "Can't have you running like this, can we? You'll end up hurting yourself."

In an instant, you were back at the house. He mockingly let go of your arm but motioned for you to go inside. You massaged where he had gripped your arm, feeling it getting sore already.

"Jasper, please."

He raises an eyebrow, glancing between you and the door, motioning once again for you to go in. The blood rushes from your face as you stumble through the door, not wanting to invite his wrath.

Your hand is shaking as you raise it. Slowly, you reach towards his face, tracing a finger down his cheek and cupping his chin. "Come back Jasper, please." Unconsciously, he leans into your touch but the hard expression on his face doesn't change.

"Jaz..."

The nickname cracks his facade as his eyes soften and his hand reaches up to hold yours. The tension in his body fades and he takes a small step away from you.

"I'm sorry." His voice breaks and he tries to pull away.

You don't let him, pulling him into a hug and holding him tightly before he can feel guilty about the other half of him. He didn't always have to be in control with you because you could pull him out again.

I found something in the woods somewhere.

send me an ask with a character and a song or prompt!

taglist: @aoi-targaryen

[swiss-cheeze]

I see a lot of posts about being passed around by your dom that are like "use me, destroy my holes, treat me like an object" etc but i really think theres something to be said for being the beloved fleshlight for a group of people. Laying back on the sofa or bed, as comfortable as possible, blissed out and spoiled with all your favourite things. Your dom making sure everyone knows the rules, that playing with you is a privellege theyll revoke in an instant if you treat their toy with anything other than reverence, respect, and the desire to make it cum over and over. I want to be the toy loaned out for use, but i dont want to be used selfishly by them. I want to be the selfish one. I want to be desired and coveted. I want everyone in that room throbbing between their legs at just the idea of getting to touch me, to be the one that brings those sweet sounds out of me, to finally, finally sink into that tight, wet heat that has my dom obsessed with fucking me. I want to be the prize that everyone is fucking aching to get their hands on.

[swiss-cheeze]

Eddie has been live-streaming for a couple hours now when he leaves his studio to get something to eat. He brings the stream along so everybody gets to witness the conversation he walks into.

Steve: -know why you keep saying that. It was very romantic….platonically romantic.

Robin: Because it wasn’t a date

Steve: Uh, we held hands in the rain?

Robin: We were spying on a shipping delivery

Steve: So? Rain. Hand holding. That is romcom stuff. We spent the night together

Robin: Stuck in an elevator!

Steve: We stayed up all night talking

Robin: About how to get out of the elevator!

Steve: Yeah, like in a romcom.

Robin: Dustin was there!

Steve: Dustin is always there!

Eddie:

Eddie: What are you talking about?

Steve: Robin said I never took her on a date before we got married. We became best friends on a date.

[swiss-cheeze]

it’s so bizarre when animated American films are set in a certain location and then only certain characters have the accents of that place. It makes no damn sense!! like

WHY IS SHE MORE FRENCH THAN THE REST OF THEM???

[swiss-cheeze]

thinking abt dog tops againnn. idk they r just perfection like omggg r u just gonna fuck me like a feral mutt while u stick ur tongue out and pant??? ideally also drooling on me in the process, slobbering over me as u pound inside like a big filthy dog... u gonna bark at me, not a yap, but like a good hearty bark in a genuine effort to assert dominance? bite into me and tug on my skin with ur teeth? use me like a chew toy? i need it.