#i was a barbie first girlie through no choice of my own | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shorkbrian · 3 years

Note

💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)

Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol. This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!

Pairing - Keigo Takami X Reader

Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg

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He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.

Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed, getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.

What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.

“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.

You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.

“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”

“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”

You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.

It still made you sick to think about it.

Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.

You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.

Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.

“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.

“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon. It was fine, you were fine.

——

The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.

“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.

“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.

The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”

Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”

Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.

“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”

Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.

“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.

“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”

----

The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.

It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.

“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.

“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”

You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”

“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.

It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.

“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.

Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.

They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.

“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“

“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”

He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.

The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.

“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.

“How did you-?”

“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.” He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.

“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.

You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties, an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.

But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.

Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.

Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.

With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.

“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.

“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”

“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”

And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.

You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.

Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.

But then you were seeing Keigo.

He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.

You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.

You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.

The scene changed again.

Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.

There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.

He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.

You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.

Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.

The scene changed.

Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.

Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.

Then you were back in the present.

A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.

“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”

You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.

He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.

You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.

Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.

“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.

Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”

Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”

Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”

Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”

“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.

Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”

He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.

----

A week passed, then two.

The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.

Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.

You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.

Curse your quirk.

Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.

First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.

Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.

You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.

None of it took your mind off the inevitable.

“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.

“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.

“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.

Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.

Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.

Flowers?

“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”

You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?

The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.

Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.

Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.

“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.

“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”

Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you. “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.” The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”

Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.

Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too. Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.

“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.

“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.

“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.

Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”

You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.

Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”

You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”

At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.

The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”

He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”

Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”

You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.

Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.

That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.

——

“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”

“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.

You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”

“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.

“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”

Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.

“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”

Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.

Well, unless they were rich.

You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.

“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him. He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”

Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”

You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”

“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.

A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”

“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.

“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”

Keigo nodded his head solemnly. “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”

“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.

The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.

-----

Keigo showed up again two days later.

“Back so soon?”

“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”

It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.

“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.

“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.

“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”

Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones

You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.

“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.

Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”

You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”

“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”

He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.

“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“

“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”

A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers. You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.

His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.

“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”

Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.

“Keigo no-!”

But it was too late.

You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.

Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.

Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-

And then it changed.

You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.

Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.

You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.

Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.

Then you were back.

Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.

The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.

“(Y/N)…”

“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!

Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.

He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.

You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.

Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.

You didn’t want to see Keigo again.

——-

“I just don’t understand!”

Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy. You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.

“Why would he break up with me? Why?”

You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”

She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.

She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.

Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.

“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”

She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”

You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?

Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart. He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”

She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.

——-

A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.

“You need to leave. Now.”

“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”

“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.

“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”

Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”

“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.

“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.

He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”

“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“

“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”

Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.

Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”

“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.

You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of visions that accompanied physical touch.

They never came.

Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.

“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.

You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.

You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.

You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.

You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.

“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.

“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”

Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.

“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.

The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).

By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.

-----

“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”

You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.

“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”

Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”

“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”

“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”

“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”

“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.

“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.

Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”

You agreed.

——-

Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.

It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.

The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.

“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.

“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”

Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.

“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.

Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.

“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.

“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”

You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.

“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.

You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”

“Nope.”

He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.

Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.

That was gross.

The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”

You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.

He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.

It felt a bit intrusive.

“So the visions are all blocked?”

“Yep.”

“And you can touch and be touched?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”

“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”

“Nice! And how about your libido?”

You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.

“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”

Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”

“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.

You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).

So here you were.

Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”

Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.

“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”

Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.

Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”

Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.

“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.

“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”

Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.

Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?

Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.

You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”

Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.

“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”

God, it better not be something sexual.

“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”

That surprised you.

“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.

“Of course! I really like their stuff.”

“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”

Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen. You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?

“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”

——-

The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.

A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.

“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”

“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”

“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.

Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.

“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”

“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“

You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.

“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.

“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.

When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.

“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”

That’s evident.

You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“

“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.

He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”

“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”

Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”

You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.

“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”

The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”

“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.

“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”

“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.

“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.

“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.

“Nope. You think she liked me for who I am?”

“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”

The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”

“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.

“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”

You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.

“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”

“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!

But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?

And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?

It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.

“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”

With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.

-----

He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.

“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”

“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”

He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.

Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.

The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.

You definitely were honest.

Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.

Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.

You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.

“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“

He totally could, he was just being a baby.

The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.

Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.

He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.

He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.

So you tolerated his presence.

After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.

Until you fell asleep at his house.

Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.

Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt to go with the rest of his outfit.

His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.

The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.

So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like. Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.

And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.

You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.

Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.

Keigo was on top of you.

Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.

Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.

“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”

His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.

“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.

Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.

This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-

Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.

“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.

“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.

Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.

“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”

What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?

“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.

Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.

“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“

One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.

You didn’t want this.

Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.

He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.

“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”

“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.

“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“

“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“

“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”

“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”

“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”

“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“

“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.

The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.

“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“

You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.

“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“

“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”

The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.

“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.

“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”

You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.

Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.

“Keigo please-“

“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”

His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.

“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”

Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.

“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”

#yandere keigo takami #keigo x reader #Keigo Takami #yandere takami keigo #takami keigo #takami keigo x reader #Yandere bnha #yandere #tw.dubcon #tw.noncon #tw.somno #tw dubcon #creepy keigo

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uelden · 3 years

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Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

#maneskin #måneskin #vanity fair #italian #translation

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chickensarentcheap · 3 years

Text

Never Gonna Be Alone -Chapter 26

Title: Preparations

Warning: it’s filler. I figured we needed some cute daddy Tyler. lol

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007, @miss-smutty, @tragiclyhip

“When you met mumma, you guys were working together, right?”

Addie poses the question as she sits atop the kitchen island; legs swinging back and forth as they dangle over the edge, the heels of silver and gold glitter infused jelly sandals lightly thumping against the wood. She insisted on bringing one of her favourite pairs of shoes from home; arguing that she didn’t care that they were ‘out of season’ and that she would wear what she wants, when she wants, and no one could tell her otherwise. In the end they’d gone perfectly with the new ‘Christmas’ dress she’d picked out Bloomingdales; a vibrant yellow concoction with capped sleeves embellished with strips of lace, a sash around the waist that ties in an enormous bow at the back, and an elaborate tulle skirt several layers thick that shimmers in the light. Forgoing all the burgundy, emerald green, and red dresses that had lined the regular priced racks in favour of an outfit from the leftover and highly discounted summer section. It was a hill Esme hadn't been willing to die on; preferring that Addie showcase both her independence in choosing her own outfit, and being proud of her personal style and preferences. And it suits her; as bright and adorable as her personality with just enough ‘no fucks given’ sprinkled on for good measure.

While tiny and seemingly fragile, she can be extremely assertive and adverse to any form of compromise; tenacious to a fault and digging her heels in and sticking to her guns when she feels she’s one hundred right about her stance. Even if there’s mountains of proof to show that she is, in fact, completely wrong. Someone so stubborn and feisty lingering inside that cute, wee package; able to hold her own while out playing with her older siblings and not afraid to get a bloody nose or a fat lip or a black eye. And not deterred in the slightest when she DOES get injured; right back to what she was doing only hours after getting stitches or a cast removed. Not shying away from climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles or helping muck out the goats stalls while wearing clunky rubber boots paired with a Disney princess dress. Very much like her older sister had been at that age; enjoying being physical and active and playing sports and rough housing one minute, then showcasing her more ‘girly side’ the next. Loving trips to the salon with mummy for manis and pedis; enjoying picking her own shade of polish and then getting to sip orange juice from a champagne glass while getting a facial and her hair trimmed. Collecting dolls along with various rocks and shells and beach glass. Superhero figures taking up residence on her bedroom shelves right alongside stuffies of her favourite animals -koalas, sloths, and kangaroos currently at the top of the list- and snow globes from different parts of the world. Her closet filled with not only frilly dresses and sparkly leggings and colourful sweaters emblazoned with unicorns and french bulldogs and flamingos, but old hand me downs from her brothers; ripped and faded jeans and tattered t-shirts and board shorts.

“Right,” Tyler confirms, as he tends to running a brush through her waist length hair; damp from misting it down with a spray bottle in order to easier part it into sections.

It’s a far cry from his old life; his beaten and busted up hands with their multitude of scars and calluses once used to being soaked in blood and caked with dirt. Large and weathered with misshapen knuckles, they’d long ago gotten accustomed to hard, manual labour and the brutality that he’d had to inflict on others; fists that pummelled bodies and faces and fingers that pulled triggers and wrapped around throats and choked the life out of combatants. And while they still get caked in mud from working around the house and they’re still entrusted to load magazines and are capable of taking a gun apart in thirteen seconds flat, they’ve morphed into other uses. Beginning with diapering babies and tending to the impossibly tiny snaps on jumpers, buttons on little sweaters, and zippers on sleepers. Moving on to tying kid sized shoe laces and cleaning and patching up skinned knees and elbows. Advancing to far more difficult hair styling techniques than the simple ponytails he’d began affixing on Millie when she was a toddler; various styles of braids adorned with ribbons, and snapping barrettes and clamping clips into place.

Being a girl dad is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The six short years -despite the little time he’d actually been home- he’d spent with Austin had prepared him for raising boys. His son, when healthy, had been extremely active and fearless and full of curiosity and energy; getting as messy and as dirty as possible and loving every second of it. Obsessed with superheroes and sports and always clad in clothing that displayed his favourites; football jerseys and baseball caps and sweats emblazoned with Superman or Batman logos. He had been terrified twelve years ago when the news had come in that Millie was in fact going to be a girl; not only envisioning frilly dresses and a closet full of pink and those ridiculous headbands parents insist on putting on their infants, but thinking back to his own treatment of women. The days when he’d used them for nothing more than sex; random strangers picked up in bars or that he’d meet on the street in whatever city a job sent him to. A failed marriage; putting more of a priority on the military than he did on treating his wife properly. And all he could think about was how having a daughter was somehow a punishment for the bad shit he’d done. A little girl that he’d have to protect from guys like him.

It was hard to get used to; big fingers having to master putting in tiny earrings and tending to impossibly small zippers and buttons , getting comfortable with the amount of pink and purple in their rooms and closets. Eventually graduating into attending tea parties and playing with Barbies and helping make crafts; getting used to paint on his palms and between his fingers and glitter stuck under his nails and in his hair and beard. Determined to be a hands-on father even if its activities are way outside of his comfort zone; gymnastic meets and dance recitals as opposed to lacrosse matches and football games. Being a girl dad isn’t for the weak; having to worry about your little girls’ hearts being broken and if the guys they pick will treat them right and if they themselves will make smart and responsible choices as teenagers. And the hormones; the up and down emotions and the drastic switch from bitchy to overly sensitive. Having a wife go through it once a month is enough. never mind the thought of three other girls. The worry of how he’ll handle not only the emergence of puberty, but if all four female ‘clocks’ decide to sync up. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle THAT; all the women in his life going through the cramps and the moodiness and the demands to be coddled and babied one minute and left the fuck alone the next.

“Does that mean mummy beat up and killed bad guys too?”

“No. She never did any of that stuff. That was my job, not hers.”

“What did she do?”

“She tracked down the bad guys. And where they were doing mean things to good people. Then she told me...or guys like me...where they were so we could go and take care of things.”

“So you could go and kill them?”

“You don’t always have to kill people. Sometimes it’s enough to just rough them up a bit.”

“And other times they fight back and try to hurt you and you have to hurt them first?”

“Pretty much.”

“Have you killed a lot of people?”

“Not that many," he lies. It's actually a staggering amount; the death toll -from his hand alone- in Dhaka putting the count well over three hundred.

“How many is ‘not that many'?’”

“I don’t know, Peanut. I’ve never kept track.”

“But you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt. That’s what mummy said when I asked if it was true. If Tyler was lying when he told me you kill people for a living.”

“That’s a while ago. That you asked mummy that.”

“I was three. That’s a whole two years ago. But sometimes I think about it. Especially when you go away. I think about you having to kill people.”

“And what do you think WHEN you think about that? About what I sometimes have to do?”

“I dunno know,” Addie shrugs, and then lifts the spray bottle clutched in both hands and holds it towards her face; giggling when she pulls the trigger and catches some of the mist in her mouth.

“Does it bother you? When you think about it? That I’ve killed people? That sometimes I still have to?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Kind of a hard thing to hear, don’t you think? That daddy has to do stuff like that?”

“It’s your job. It’s what you do. You have to hurt people to save other people. And sometimes, if they try and hurt you first, you have to kill them. Because if you didn’t, they might kill you and then you never come home and we never get to see you again. It’s not THAT hard to hear. I’d rather you kill someone and come home than never see you again.”

“You know,” he plucks the spray bottle from her hands and dampens a section of hair. “You’re pretty smart for only five.”

“Smart like mummy.”

He leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “Cute like her too.”

“Are you going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Who would I get in trouble with?”

“God. Isn’t that one of the things we’re not supposed to do? Kill people?”

“How do you know about that? We don’t talk about that stuff at home.”

“I hear things. At school. Some of the older kids talking. Are you? Going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Probably,” he admits. “I’m sure I’ll face some kind of judgement for it. When my time comes.”

“But wouldn’t it be okay ‘cause you only kill bad people? That were hurting good people? Wouldn’t that be allowed? And if you had to kill someone so you could come home to us, wouldn’t that be okay too?”

“I don’t know,” he snags a yellow cloth ribbon off the island and begins braiding a section of hair around it. “I’ve never thought that far ahead about things.”

“It would suck if you got in trouble for helping people. That wouldn’t be fair at all. If you got sent to hell for doing stuff like that. I mean, you were doing something GOOD. You weren’t doing something bad. You HAD to kill evil people to help good people. And to make sure you come home to mummy and us kids. I can’t see you getting in trouble for something like THAT.”

“Doesn’t make much sense to me either. But not a lot does anymore.”

“I’ll be really mad if you get in trouble and sent somewhere different than me. I don’t want us to be in two separate places. I want us to be together. All of us. You and mummy and all us kids. I don’t want us to all be separated. Well, maybe Millie could be. Because she’s mean to me. All the time.”

“Millie is going through some stuff. She’s going to be a teenager soon. A lot of drama leading up to THAT.”

“She says I’m annoying. That she used to really like me when I was a baby and couldn’t do anything. But now I can do lots of stuff and I can talk and she says that pisses her off. That I’m a bratty little sister.”

“You are NOT bratty.”

“Right? That’s what I said. She’s bratty if anything. Am I annoying, daddy? Don’t lie. You can tell me the truth.”

“You are not annoying. If anyone is annoying, it’s Millie.”

“I said THAT too! But she’s mean. She even threatened to cut my hair off. Shave it. Because I couldn’t find my brush and I borrowed hers and she didn’t like that. So you know what I did? While you were gone?”

“What did you do?”

“I took the tops off two Oreo cookies and I ate the middle and then I put in mayonnaise and I put the tops back on and gave them to Millie. I told her I was being a good little sister and bringing her a snack. And she put a whole one in her mouth! She almost puked!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “You actually did that?”

“Yup. It was awesome. I laughed so hard, I almost peed! But then she started chasing me around the house threatening to kill me. Mummy was screaming at her to lighten up, that it was just a joke. And then she told mummy to shut up and Tyler got mad. REALLY mad. He tackled Millie and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into the carpet. Then he put her in a figure four leg lock and made her cry.”

“Millie told your mom to shut up?”

“Oooops…” Addie tilts her head back to look at him, a sheepish smile curving her lips. “....I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Who told you not to tell me? Millie?”

The five year old shakes her head.

“TJ?”

Another shake, followed by a tiny “No.”

“Addie…”

“It was mummy! She said not to tell you because you’d get pissed off and you didn’t need to. Because she took care of it right when it happened. Well, Tyler did. He was really, really, REALLY mad. She learned her lesson. I’m sure of it. He made her cry. Lots.”

“Did that happen a lot? Millie getting mouthy with your mom?”

“Not really.”

He stares pointedly down at her.

“A few times,” she reluctantly admits. “She said some things that were really mean. To mummy. And she said the F word once, too. Mixed with the B word.”

“She said that ? To your mom?”

Addie chews nervously on her bottom lip. “Yeah, she called her an f-ing B word.”

“What did mummy do?”

“She didn’t get a chance to do anything. Desi freaked out. And he’s really big and he can be really scary when he wants. Like you. Desi told her that she should never, ever talk to her mum like that. And that you’d be really mad if you found out. And that she’d rather deal with him than you. Which is true. Desi might be bigger than you, but you’re definitely tougher. I mean, he doesn’t kill people for a living. You do.”

“Things were pretty bad, huh? While I was gone.”

“A little. Millie went off the reservation. Big time. She’s lucky she’s even breathing. ‘Cause Tyler was ready to kill her. And I don’t blame him. You’re mad, aren’t you. Are you mad, daddy?”

“A bit.”

“You know how I can tell? That you’re mad? Your neck moves. Right here,” she reaches up to press to fingertips against the side of his throat. “Where the bad guy shot you a long time ago.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Mummy told me. I asked her how you got that scar. She said that a long time ago, her and Ovi were in trouble and you had to get them out of a really bad place. And then you made sure they were safe and sound, but a bad guy shot you. In the neck. And that’s why you have the scar there.”

“Did that scare you? Hearing that?”

“A little, I guess. I mean, you could have died, right?”

“I could have, yeah.”

“And then you and mummy never would have gotten married. And had kids. Millie would be the only one to exist. None of us would. So yeah, that part scared me a bit; that the bad guy could have killed and none of us ever would have been born. Did you kill him?”

“Eventually.”

“Mummy said she stayed with you. After it happened. And that she went back to Australia with you and that’s how she ended up there. It’s where you guys got married. And had Millie and me and Kota and Brookie. That we were the ones born there. So we’re REAL Australians, like you. Everyone else is American.”

“Everyone else WAS American. You’re all Australian now.”

“How does that work?”

“A lot of papers you have to fill out. To become a citizen. But you all are. Mummy and I made sure of it.”

“Is mummy an Australian too?”

“By marriage, yeah.”

“It’s a good thing she married you. You’re a lucky guy, daddy. That someone like mummy fell in love with you.”

“I am,” he confirms. “Very lucky. She’s a pretty good mummy, huh?”

“She’s the best mummy EVER. If we could pick our mummies, I’d pick her. Because she’s nice and she gives good cuddles and kisses and she tells the best silly jokes. And she’s super smart and really cute too. And little! Like me!”

“That’s where you get from. Being so cute and wee. You’re just like your mumma.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles broadly up at him; the corners and the bridge of her nose crinkle. “And that’s a good thing, yeah?”

“A very good thing,” Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he brushes the tip of his nose against hers; smiling at the way she throws her head back and giggles.

He’s seen her mother do that exact movement and expression a number of times; excitement while on the rides at Disney World with the kids, when she’s had one too many glasses of wine and even his terrible ‘dad jokes’ are suddenly hilarious, when they’ve been on one of their ‘mommy and daddy’ vacations and she’s gotten up the guts to try something new and exciting; emboldened by his encouragement and forever feeling safe and secure as long as he’s by her side. So much of Esme in the tiny little girl in front of him; tenacious and ferociously intelligent and loving deeply and fearlessly. Knowing the darkness and the horrors that exist in the world but not allowing herself to be tarnished by it; always finding ways to smile and laugh and find the beauty in every day.

“What do you think mummy would have done if she didn’t do the job she did?” Addie inquires, when she finally drops her head back down and he’s able to return to tending her hair.

“I don’t know. Teach? Be a nurse? Maybe a doctor?”

“How would you have met her? If she didn’t do her old job?”

“Maybe I would have met her on the beach. In Australia. Maybe she would have come there on a vacation.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you would have gone to where she used to live. In Chicago.”

“She used to live in Colorado. That’s where she was born and where she grew up. Chicago is a totally different place.”

“She used to live by the mountains. When I was in her tummy, you guys lived on a hobby farm. And you had goats and chickens. Mummy says we still own that house.”

“Yup, we do. We rent it out.”

“Can we go there one day? I’d like to see it. I’d like to see where you guys were living when I was in mummy’s belly. Is that where I was made?”

“We’re pretty sure that’s where it happened. Not many other places it could have been.”

“Maybe we can go and visit. And I can see where I was made. That would be fun. I want to see the mountains.”

“Maybe one day.” He finishes up the first braided pigtail, securing it with an impossibly small elastic before turning his attention to the other section of hair.

“If you met mummy a different way, would you have still liked her? Would you have still fallen in love with her?”

“Yup. Why wouldn’t have I? She still would have been mummy. She still would have been the same person. Still would have been the most beautiful girl ever.”

“Do you think she still would have fallen in love with you?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Would sure suck if she didn’t. Your mumma is pretty special, Peanut. She’s the love of my life. Took me until I was thirty five to meet her.”

“You were married before, though. To Austin's mom. You didn’t love her?”

“I did. But not in the way I love your mum. Your mum? That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow really, really, REALLY old with. It’s a whole other kind of love. And you know what? It’s not easy to explain. You just know what you feel.”

“Imagine if things were opposite? If you went to Colorado and met mummy instead of her meeting you in Australia and working with you? And then you would have stayed there; where the snow and the mountains are instead of the beach and the ocean. How come you moved? Why didn’t you guys stay? Where the mountains are?”

“Things changed. We weren’t happy there anymore. We needed to get away. Go back to the place where we were the happiest.”

“In Australia?”

“Yup.”

“That’s where I’m happiest too. I love it there. I love how warm it is; the sun and the sand and the water. I like the sound it makes; listening to it when I’m trying to fall asleep. And I like how the beach feels; between my toes and when I let it run through my fingers. And I love my room and my toys and my school and my friends and all the goats and our pigs and our chickens. And Charlie. I love him the most. I love making him peanut butter sandwiches. I’d miss him the most. If we had to leave. We won’t have to leave will we, daddy?”

“I don’t see why we would have to.”

“I don’t ever want to leave Australia. It’s perfect there. It’s where I was born. And where you were born too. We have that in common. We were BOTH born there.”

“Yeah…” he grins, and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “...we were.”

“I mean, we have other stuff in common too. Because you’re my dad and that means you helped make me so that means half of me is half of you. The other half is from mummy. And we both love surfing. And animals. And Vegemite. I LOVE Vegemite. It’s sooooo good.”

“Speaking of Vegemite, was it you that left the Vegemite and Nutella sandwich for Santa?”

Addie giggles. “Maybe…”

“Why would you ever put the two of those together?”

“Tyler made it for his school lunch once and he let me try a bit and it was really good! So I thought Santa might like to try it. Part American, part Australian.”

“You know, that’s pretty genius. And it worked. I tried a bit and it wasn’t bad.”

“Right?! You wouldn’t think it would work, but it does. Somehow. Kind of like you and mummy.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“You and mummy are so different. You’re really tall and big and she’s really short and small. Like, you know how mummy is a morning person? She’s always really cheerful and smiley? And you’re not? You’re moody and miserable. A total grump face! And you don’t like to talk until you’ve had your first coffee. With three shots of espresso in it.”

“You notice all that stuff?”

“I notice everything. Mummy says I’m very observant. And that I have really good instincts. Like you. She says ‘cause my tummy tells me if something is right or wrong. And yours does too. You know how else you and mummy are different?”

“How?”

“Mummy talks to everyone! She’s very talky talky. A chatterbox.”

“Geez,” Tyler grins, and tugs playfully at the completed pigtail. “I wonder who ELSE is a chatterbox?”

“She’s a social butterfly. She makes friends everywhere she goes. People like her. Because she’s so bubbly and cute and she makes peoples hearts feel warm because she’s so nice to them. You’re more serious. You don’t talk a lot. At least not to people you don’t know. People are scared of you sometimes. Because how big you are and because you got all the drawings on you and the scars and stuff. They think you’re mean. ‘Cause of all that.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think you’re just daddy. I KNOW you’re not mean. I KNOW you’re a nice guy. I KNOW you give awesome hugs; your arms are big but they feel nice and they wrap all the way around me! If people really paid attention, they’d see that you’re nice. You have soft eyes. They’re blue and they’re pretty and they’re kind. Especially when you smile and they go all crinkly. If people really gave you a chance, they’d see you’re not scary at all. You’re only like that if you HAVE to be. If bad people are near mummy or us kids.”

“Are you ever scared of me?” It’s a recurring thought; if his children ever pick up on the worry and the tension and the fear that comes with his issues. It’s a feat some days; forcing himself out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Wanting nothing more than to stay under the covers and surrender to the exhaustion that comes with doing battle with his own mind every day. But his family is his number one priority, whether it’s a good day or a horrible one. And he’ll ‘fake it until he makes it’ as long as his children and his wife know that they’re loved; provided and cared for and made to feel safe and protected.

“Why would I be? Why would I be scared of my daddy?”

“Well, you know what I do for a living. You know what I’ve had to do to people. Does that scare you?”

“Nope. Because that’s just your job. It’s not who you are. When you come home, you’re just daddy. You take us bike riding and hiking and swimming and surfing. And you help us find rocks and shells and you let me sit on your shoulders when we walk on the beach or go into town. And we take naps. On the hammock. I love our naps on the hammock.”

He smiles. “So do I.”

“Sometimes I get a little worried. When you get upset. Or you and mummy argue. I don’t like when you guys argue. I always worry that you’ll hate each other. That you’ll get a divorce. And then you won’t live with us. It makes me sad when I think about that.”

“You don’t need to be sad, Peanut. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to go and live somewhere else. I’m going to stay right where I am; with you guys and your mumma. And just because we argue? That doesn’t mean we’re going to hate each other. I could NEVER hate your mum. And I’m pretty sure she’d say the same thing about me. We love each other. Very much. Divorce is NOT something you need to think about. But do I ever scare you? Have I ever?”

“I don’t have a reason to be scared of you. Because you love me. You’d never hurt me. I never worry about that. Not even when you yell and your voice gets REALLY loud. I know you’d never do anything mean to me. Just to bad people. And I’m not a person. I’m a GOOD person.”

“You definitely are. You’re a VERY good person. An amazing little person.”

She smiles. “Like mummy.”

“Just like her. More than even I ever realized.”

******

“Addie…” TJ singsongs as he saunters into the kitchen, both hands tucked behind his back. “...what are you doing?”

“Tyler!” She cheerfully greets, and excitedly waves to him with both hands. Her entire face lighting up at the sight of her second favourite male in the house

She’s become extremely close to her oldest brother during her five years on earth; idolizing him and turning to him for help and comfort when daddy is either caught up with one of the other kids, tending to work related matters, or out of the house -and sometimes even the country- all together. And TJ dotes on her in return. Spoiling her and babying her ever since she was an infant and he was always more than willing to help change her diapers and give her feedings. In awe of how tiny she was and how she’d look up at him with so much adoration. He’s the quintessential older brother; patient and loving and ready to kick anyone’s ass that dares messes with her.

“Look at my dress! It’s the one I picked out when I went shopping for mommy. That I kept a secret. Isn’t it awesome?”

“Awesome just like you. It’s really pretty, Ads. Your favourite colour too!”

“Yup! Mummy bought it for me. She said it’s perfect for me. For my personality. It reminds me of Belle’s dress. From Beauty and the Beast.”

“Looks a little like it, I guess. But you know what? It’s even prettier. And you’re more beautiful than Belle. WAY more beautiful.”

“Really?” she gasps, and a noticeable blush creeps into her cheeks, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears. “You really think so?”

“I REALLY think so. Belle has nothing on you. You’re the prettiest princess EVER. Way prettier than ANY of them.”

“Oh goodness!” She clamps both hands over her mouth in embarrassment, then giggles into them. “Like mumma? Just as pretty as her? Mumma is the prettiest EVER.”

“Just a smaller version of her.” TJ leans in close and presses the tip of his nose against hers. “Guess what I have? What you forgot in my room?”

“Adeline!” she cries, when he reveals the item he’d been keeping behind his back. And she snags the doll from him and showers its head and face with kisses as she clutches it tightly to her chest. “Adeline! I’m sorry I forgot you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I kept her safe for you,” TJ says. “So Declan wouldn’t grab her. You know how he likes to get a hold of dolls and torture them. I didn’t want him getting her. She’s way too pretty and I know how much you love her.”

“He’s mean to my dolls! He’s always taking their heads off and putting their arms where their legs should be and crazy shit like that.”

“Hey,” Tyler frowns, and tugs on the half braided pigtail. “What did I say?”

“No bad language. Especially on Christmas Day. I can’t help it though; sometimes it just slips out. If you didn’t swear so much around us kids…”

“That’s it. Throw me under the bus.”

“You swear A LOT, daddy. Especially in the car. When other people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinkers. If mummy knew exactly how much you DO swear around us, she’d be mad. REALLY mad.”

“Your mum has a worse mouth than I do.”

“As if!” Addie scoffs, and he can’t help but smile; easily hearing Esme’s voice and picturing the expression on her face; the corner up her mouth and her nose scrunched up in disgust, eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you, Tyler!” She curls an arm around her brother’s neck, squeezing as tight as she can. “You’re the best! Thank you for keeping her safe from the Ginger. You’re the best brother EVER! I only trust you with her. And daddy. That’s it. You guys are big and strong and will keep her safe no matter what.”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He addresses his son as the latter moves to the fridge, pausing in the braiding of Addie’s hair to survey TJ’s wardrobe a pair of ill fitting and impossibly baggy jeans, an enormous untucked dress shirt with its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a loose pink, purple, and grey striped tie.

“Your pants. And one of your shirts.” TJ reaches into the fridge and grabs a carton of chocolate milk and a jug of white. Closing the door with his hip and carrying them to the counter by the sink; pouring a mix of both into a plastic tumblr retrieved from the dish rack and then snagging two straws from the cupboard. “Mum told me to. She said none of my clothes were good enough for Christmas dinner. All my jeans have holes in them and all t-shirts have to do with surfing. We’ve never had to dress up for Christmas dinner before. Why do we have to start now?”

“Your mum’s trying to make things perfect. To avoid drama. With your grandmother.”

“Too late. Grandma brings drama with her. And drops it on everyone else.” He drags a bar stool across the floor and places it in front of his little sister. “Here Ads,” he holds the cup in front of her. “A yellow straw just for you. So you don’t have to share my germs. Let me hold it; so you don’t spill anything on your dress.”

Giving a delighted squeal and a smile of appreciation, she takes a pull from the straw. “I think you look handsome, Tyler. You’re growing up. You’re going to be as big as daddy soon.”

“It’s going to be a while before I’m THAT big. But I’m going to work on it. As soon as I’m allowed, I’m going to lift heavy too and put on ALL kinds of muscle.”

“Then you can go after bad people too. And beat them up and kill them when you have to.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Tyler suggests. “Something tells me mummy might have an issue with that.”

“Why doesn’t mum just tell grandma to get lost?” TJ inquires. “It’s not like they like each other. They never have. They’ve always fought. I remember how they’d get into it at Christmas. When we were still living in Colorado. Grandma would get drunk and she’d pick fights with mum and mum would fight back and cry and then you’d go off on grandma. Is that going to happen this year? ‘Cause it’s been nice and quiet at Christmas. Do we HAVE to listen to grandma's shit?”

“What did I just tell your sister? About the language?”

“She’s five, but she’s right. It IS hard to stop and it does just come out. But do we, dad? Do we really have to put up with her?”

“It’s one night. I think you can manage. If I can grin and bear it, so can you. Suck it up.”

“If she starts in on mum about ANYTHING, I’m going to lose it. That’s my mum. No one talks to my mum like that. I almost taught Jacobi a lesson. For calling mum cute and wanting to ask her out. I’ll teach grandma a lesson too. I’m not afraid of her.”

“If anyone is going to teach her a lesson, it’s going to be me. You stay out of it. Your mum wouldn’t want you getting into it with her. You’re TEN.”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. That’s MY mum. And no one is going to treat her bad. We’re supposed to protect her, remember? You and I.”

“You’re supposed to be a kid and stay that way as long as you can. I’M supposed to protect your mom. And I think I’ve been pretty damn good at it for the last twelve and a half years. And if your grandma starts? I’ll stop it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Why does she hate you so much anyway? Is it still the same crap? How she’s pissed because you stole mum away from her family and moved her all the way to Australia? ‘Cause you got her pregnant before you married her?”

Addie scowls. “Who cares? Lots of people have babies and they aren’t married. And so what if mummy didn’t go back home and she stayed with daddy? She’s an adult. She can do what she wants. And she wanted to be with daddy. None of grandma’s business. I’mma tell her that too. If she starts saying mean things about daddy or mummy. I’mma tell her what for.”

“You’re not going to do a thing,” Tyler informs her. “You’re going to leave all the telling off to me, got it?”

“I don’t like her,” Addie says. “She’s not a nice person. She has a mean smile. And her eyes are empty. They don’t sparkle or anything like that. Are you sure that’s mummy’s mummy? Because when mummy smiles, her eyes sparkle. She LOOKS happy. Grandma? She just looks mean.”

“No one likes her,” TJ grumbles. “Best thing we ever did was get away from her. But IS that why, dad? Is that really why she doesn’t like you? Because she still thinks you stole mum and took her all the way to Australia?”

“It’s a few things.”

“I bet it’s the job too. I bet she really has a problem with THAT.”

“Again…” Addie huffs dramatically. “...who cares? So what if daddy kills people? They’re BAD. They deserve it. He helps good people and sometimes when he’s helping them, he has to kill the bad guys. I don’t see a problem with that. If they try and hurt him or kill him, he HAS to kill them first. So he can come home. To us. And mummy. It only makes sense.”

“If Ads can get it, ANYONE can,” TJ says. “She’s only five. What’s grandma? A hundred? If a five year old can get it…”

“Daddy makes the world a better place because he gets rid of the bad people,” Addie continues, as she takes another sip of the drink her brother offers her. “If we had less bad people, everything would be great. There’d be less wars and less people getting hurt and everyone would love one another and be happy. Daddy’s doing a good thing. By sticking up for people. Like you do. At school. You beat up the bullies when you have to. Remember the older kid that tripped me and shoved my face in the mud? Remember him? He’s in grade eight AND you kicked the crap out of me. Because he picked on me.”

“You’re my sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

“And remember that other guy? On the playground by mummy’s store? The one that pulled my hair and told me I was adopted because I’m small and I don’t look like any of you guys. You freaked out on him and made him apologize and scared him away. He’ll cross the street now if he sees you coming.”

“You can’t let bad people get away with doing bad things,” TJ reasons. “If you don’t stop them, they’ll just keep doing bad stuff.”

“Exactly! So it’s a good thing that daddy goes after the bad guys. Grandma needs to learn. And she needs to learn TODAY. You should tell her, Tyler. You should tell her off. You’re not scared of anyone.”

“Not being scared of anyone or anything is not always a good thing,” Tyler informs her. “If you’re not scared, you don’t take a situation or people seriously. That’s when you get hurt. And you know what? No matter how big of a bad ass you think you are? There’s always a bigger one out there somewhere. Believe me. I’ve learned THAT lesson the hard way.”

“The guy who shot you just got a lucky one in,” TJ reasons. “You were already hurt. You weren’t one hundred percent. Some guy had already shot you, hadn’t he? A sniper?”

“What’s a sniper?” Addie inquires. “Is it like Swipper on Dora? Something like him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Tyler says. “You don’t need to know that stuff. Not until you’re older. WAY older.”

“A sniper’s a guy that hides somewhere and shoots you,” TJ replies. “Somewhere where no one sees him. It’s why they’re so dangerous. You don’t even know where they are. They just shoot you. And they kill you before you even know what happened.”

“But daddy didn’t get killed. If a sniper shot daddy, shouldn’t he be dead?”

Combing his hand through her bangs, Tyler tips his daughter’s head back. “What did I just say? About you not needing to know about this stuff?”

“I’m curious now. Tyler said they hide and shoot people and kill them. How come you didn’t die? If a sniper shot you?”

“I guess he didn’t manage to get a good shot in.”

“It was the other guy that almost killed him,” TJ says, and takes a sip of the concoction in his hand. “The one that got him in the neck. That’s when he almost died. Mum saved him.”

“How? How did mummy save daddy? Daddy…” she swivels around in her stool to face him. “...how did mummy save you? Did she shoot the bad guy back?”

“Mum stuck her fingers in his neck,” TJ says. “To stop the bleeding. Or he would have bled to death.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “She DID?”

“When you’re older, MAYBE I’ll tell you more more about it. But for now…” Tyler places his hands on her shoulders and gently turns her back around. “...you don’t need to know this stuff. And you…” he stares pointedly at his son. “...don’t talk about this around her. She doesn’t need to know about this. She’s a baby still.”

“I’m not a baby!” Addie objects. “I’m five! I can almost ride my bike without training wheels. Babies can’t do that.”

“Just don’t, alright?” He addresses TJ. “Don’t talk about this stuff around her. Because she’s going to repeat all of this and she’s going to repeat it to your mum and that won’t end well. For you OR me.”

“It happened though. I mean, it’s part of how you guys met and got together and ended up getting married and stuff. It’s your history. I don’t see why…”

“I said ENOUGH. No more. Not around her. Got it?” He’s on edge; the mere mention of Dhaka and the incidents on the bridge playing straight into the anxiety and the panic he’d felt the night before; when he’d woken up from the nightmare and been on the verge of losing control and had turned to the fentanyl for relief. And it scares him; how easy it had been to not only access the powerful med, but actually take it. He’d encountered no resistance or hesitation; remorse and guilt not setting in until the following morning when he’d woken up and it had been the first thing on his mind. It’s alarming how quick things can return; an addict’s mind and behaviour.

Nodding, TJ holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re both going to be nice tonight,” he says, and finishes Addie’s final braid. “To grandma. Because your mum is already stressed out enough and we don’t need to make it worse for her. So if the best you can do is smile and nod, just do that. I’m not asking you to kiss her ass. I’m just asking you to be civil. Can you handle that?”

TJ nods.

“You?” He tugs on one of Addie’s pigtails. “Can you do that? Be civil?”

“Do I have to be near her? Or sit on her lap? ‘Cause I draw the line there.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t be a little asshole, alright?”

“Me? I’m Mary Freaking Sunshine, remember? That’s what Grandpa Koen calls me.”

“Well then live up to it and be nice to your grandmother. Smile until your face hurts, got it?”

“What do I get out of it?”

He smirks.

“Mummy says to always negotiate. Never settle for the first offer. Can I sleep in the big bed tonight? For being nice to grandma?”

“No.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he lifts her off the stool; pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her on the ground.

She turns to face him. Head cocked to the side and one hand clutching her doll, the other planted firmly on her hip. “Can I have ice cream for my bedtime snack?”

"Maybe."

“Maybe isn’t good enough.”

“You ARE just like your mom, aren’t you.”

“I’ll be nice if I can have ice cream for my bedtime snack and you snuggle with me and draw on my back for half an hour. And that’s after FOUR stories.”

“You're bossy, you know that? Two stories.”

“Three. That’s as low as I’ll go.”

“I will give you two stories, ice cream for your snack, and forty five minutes of snuggling and drawing on your back. Instead of half an hour. We got a deal?”

Her eyes narrow as she considers it; nibbling on her bottom lip and swishing her hips back and forth. “You’re good at this.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Peanut. I’ve dealt with tougher than you. What do you say?” He offers a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal!” she agrees, his hand easily swallowing hers as they shake on it.

Grinning, he runs a hand over the top of her head and then drops a kiss on her hair. “You really DO have a lot of your mum in you.”

“Great things come in small packages,” Addie reasons, standing on her tiptoes as he leans down and pecks her lips. “Thank you, daddy!” she chirps. “My hair looks beautiful. You always do it perfect.”

“Pretty hard not to when my subject is so cute. Good thing I married your mum, huh? So I could have a kid as cute as you?”

“You really are a lucky man!” she declares and then cheerfully skips out of the room.

“I hope grandma is on her best behaviour,” TJ says, as he finishes the drink in his hand and then slides off the stool and returns it to its place at the island. “Because if she DOES start on mum, it’s going to be a wild night. I really hope she watches her step.”

“My too, kiddo,” Tyler sighs, and reaches out to tousle his son’s hair. “Me too.”

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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survey by joybucket

Do you have a vlog? No, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to start and maintain one. Just never got around to it because it’s so much work, from conceptualizing to shooting to editing; and idk if my humor will translate to the camera. Plus I hate being shot in public, so it would never work out for me.

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Yeah, a lot of times. It just looks like such a therapeutic outlet that I can sink my teeth into. Who knows, if I ever gain more confidence in the future I may just try making a video or two.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. As much as I hated waking up early from ages 4-6, it was nice to be home by noon and it also made for good training for the rest of my years in school.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? Good Mythical Morning, several wrestling-themed channels for their weekly lists, and KBS for their Return of Superman clips. I have a lot of other subscriptions, but those are the main ones I’ve been tuning into lately.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? I get my mom the most, but sometimes I’ll be told I look like my dad as well.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I don’t think so.

Have you ever given birth? Definitely not.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? That wouldn’t be possible as I wasn’t born yet and by the time that I was, the internet had already been around for a few years.

Do you remember Y2K? I was alive when it happened but barely conscious, so no. I was only 2.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 1, turning 2 that year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? We didn’t have lots of vacations when I was a kid, because for most of the 2000s my parents were still busy saving up and climbing up their respective ladders at work. We only started to regularly go on vacations by the time I was around 11, when finances started to get easier to handle. That said, as a kid I really loved the time my parents would bring us to the local water park on weekends.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? As a teenager when hating pink and general girliness was cool, probably. I don’t wish for it now.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the eldest.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Idk what kind of stereotype you’re looking for, tbh. As much as I don’t really like tooting my own horn, I’ve heard firstborns are usually more intelligent than their younger siblings and I would attest to at least that lol

Have you ever worn overalls? Yup, though they aren’t the denim kind.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I had just turned 10. I thought I was going to get it while I was still 9 (the signs had been showing for a while by then), but it ultimately came a month after my 10th birthday. Still, I was one of the rare cases in my family who had it at a lot younger.

Do you get cramps? I used to get leg cramps all the goddamn time as a kid, and they always came in the middle of the night. I don’t get them or any kind of cramps anymore, thankfully; and the only time I do is on my fingers when I don’t hold my chopsticks properly.

Is your mom mentally stable? I think there are definitely some things therapy could fix.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, you’re referring to the other parent.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Oh my godddddd, Thailand plz.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Wrestlemania.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? A neighbor’s kid passed away a few months ago, but I didn’t know them.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Ritz Bits are where it’s at.

What's your favorite spice? Cumin.

Are you sensitive? Yeah. I’m a little soft and I tend to take a lot of things personally.

Are you intuitive? It wouldn’t be the first word I’d use to describe myself, but I guess I have my moments.

Are you spiritual? No.

Do you wish your life were easier? Um, if it was a legitimate option then yeah obviously.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What was the name of your first crush? Andi.

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? I don’t think I’ve heard of that site. If we’re talking of websites that host flash games or whatever it is they’re called, I always hung out on Y8 haha.

Do you remember your first email address? I didn’t anymore before encountering this, but this question made me automatically rack my brain and now I do remember and now I’m wincing as well.

Did you name your lego characters? I didn’t make any characters, I think. I just liked making towers.

What was/is your high school's mascot? Both my schools don’t have mascots.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? All the history classes we had to take under the social sciences umbrella; it was Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for sophomore year; world history in junior year; and then unfortunately we made the switch to basic economics for senior year which was like ???? Why couldn’t we have gone all the way with history? Economics ended up being super boring lol.

Is college an adventure? It really was. I grew and learned so much in it and I couldn’t have spent the last four years in a better place and a better school.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who pretty much feels like my older brother and not a cousin at this point.

Do you look your age? According to most, no. I look a little younger than 22.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Chocolateeeeeeee.

Do you like toe socks? I’ve never had to wear those before so I don’t have an opinion.

Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? I’ve had a wallet stolen, so kinda.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was technically still 6 because I had an advanced celebration, but it was for my 7th birthday.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Now that I think about it I do want to go back to summer, just because it was such a vastly different – and a lot happier – time...

Is winter your favorite season? It probably would be if we had it.

How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? Zero.

Are you unique in any way? I think everyone is.

Do you have any hidden talents? if there are any left, I’m not aware of them yet.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Just about everyone, all the time.

Who was your best friend in high school? Gabie for the most part, but Angela was there as well.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Commercials creeped me out as a child, not a certain book or movie.

What song makes you cry? Usually it’s 26 by Paramore, but not always.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I’ve told a couple of people.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? I think around three or four. Possibly more, but I don’t remember all too well as I’ve since discarded a lot of memories from my old school.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Nah. I mostly stripped them of their clothes and broke their arms and legs, lol.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Nope. I didn’t have enough dolls to do that, anyway. It wasn’t my toy of choice.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16.

Do you like church? Hell no.

Do you have scars from self-harm? You’d only be able to make them out if you knew I self-harmed, but I think they’re almost unrecognizable at this point.

Do you have cellulite? It’s only present if I tightly twist my skin.

How old were you when you started getting zits? Not sure, somewhere in the middle of high school. I’ve never had lasting problems with acne though; I only ever get one or two at a time and it happens like, once a year.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Aside from hair growing in places? No, not really. It stayed the same.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? I’m a tad bit shorter, though for a time it seemed as if my growth spurt would lead me to overtake her.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? It’s not a personal choice of mine, but there could very much be situations in the far future where I would consider doing so. I’m not shutting that possibility down.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one; I haven’t tried living on my own yet.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? So many.

Is your mom paranoid? Very much so. She shows some signs of OCD and her paranoia is reflected through that.

Do you trim your own hair? Not my hair, but I do this with my bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? No. That’s one of the things I’ll change if I myself become a mom.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pirate, Tinkerbell, Daria, AJ Lee, Dora the Explorer, Sofie.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My first goldfish.

Did you have your own room as a child? Not until I was 10.

What color was your nursery? I wasn’t put in one. I shared a room with my parents and siblings until I was 10.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think they waited it out until a few weeks before I was born.

What is your name (first and middle)? My first name is Robyn and my second is Isabelle; I don’t need to share my middle name.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? They never thought about it, which is kinda disappointing because I do want to know what my other name could’ve been.

Do you like your name? I’ve ended up doing so, yes.

What would you name your children? I haven’t cemented decisions that far ahead. I have ideas for names, like Olivia, but they’re nothing absolute.

Do you exercise regularly? Nope.

Do you have a healthy BMI? No, I’ve always been a little underweight.

What is your favorite season? Wet/rainy.

Do you look like your mom? This is like the third time I’ve answered this within just this survey lol, yes I do.

What is the origin of your last name? Spanish/Portuguese.

What is the meaning of your first name? I’ve heard it means ‘fame.’ I just don’t feel like checking.

What month were you born in? April.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope. But my sister and one of my cousins share the same birthday, right down to the year.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Eh, it comes out every now and then but it’s not all the time. I definitely enjoy savory more.

What photo editing software do you use? None lol, photo editing is one of my Achilles’ heels.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Tianggeeeeeeeees.

#survey #surveys

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nadjastersurveys · 3 years

Text

General Womanhood

1. Do you like the color pink? I like every color so I like pink as well

2. How easily do you cry? Lately I’ve been crying a lot hahaha

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? I tend to lose my appetite when I’m sad. But when I do eat while being sad I go for something unhealthy like most people lol

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? Everytime when I sweat a lot, the boobs leak too lmao

5. What time of month is your time? Like at what time of month is my period in? I don’t know/remember, I don’t track my period which is something I should learn to do

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? I’m not any moodier on my period that I am when I’m not

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? No

8. Have you ever been on the pill? No 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I haven’t really thought about that. It’s not something I have to think now anyways lol. I have time

10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? No and i’m not that sure tbh

11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? My family doesn’t do it that much. Nor do I 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? I can’t cook 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? ^ 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? Baking is more fun 15. Can you sew? I did that when I was in school but I hated it 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? I don’t know, But I don’t think I’m super feminine 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No, it’s always the other way around. Like people telling me to be more girly or them saying that girls can’t wear/say things that. It’s really annoying tbh 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yeah 19. How do you define “girl power”? I think it’s just women supporting and appreciating/accepting other women 20. How much of a neat freak are you? I like things to be neat but I wouldn’t say I’m freak about it 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? No 22. Breastfeeding or formula? I don’t know, whichever is better for the baby? 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think everyone doing the same job should be paid the same amount and your gender shouldn’t have to do anything with it 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I’m not sure 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Pro-choice 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. I’m sure I have, I just can’t think of any examples 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? Yeah because sometimes I just can’t shut up

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I don’t know 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? Nah, I ike being a female

30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. we are amazing.

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yes

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? As a joke only lol

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Nope, I was never interested in it

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? No but I did other dance styles though

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? No

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? No

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? I’ve had friends stay at our house so yes?

38. Do you belong to a sorority? No

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? Not really

40. At what age did you get your first period? I was 12

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? This length I have right now is the longest it’s ever been. So a bit past my boobs. I want to cut my hair a bit though

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? Bangs? Yes, when I was like 2

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? It’s either down or up in a high ponytail

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? I have but I haven’t done it in a while. I have my natural color now

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I’m the heaviest now lol. I’m something like 48kg

46. How muscular are you? Pretty muscular? I don’t know

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? I have my nose pierced. And piercings on my cartilage as well

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? I don’t

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I’ve never worn lipstick but I’ve worn lip gloss, it makes my lips look yummy lol. Anyway I rarely wear gloss on my lips however

50. How often do you paint your nails? Never

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? No

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, I don’t think they would look good on me

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I shave them couple times a week, so like every other 3 days or so. I’ve never waxed them

54. How white are your teeth? Pretty white

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? No

56. How much do you look like your mother? Lmao I don’t look like her at all. I was adopted from Asia to a European country sooo

57. How much do you look like your father? ^

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? I like my legs and butt, they’re pretty nice haha

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? I don’t like my smile and eyes

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? I’m not sure

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? I own a lot of different t-shirts I guess 62. How big is your closet? It’s pretty small for a walk-in closet 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Well not like that because I have a quite a lot of clothes but yeah sometimes it’s hard to decide what to wear for that reason 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? I like Nike, Adidas and Fila 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? I never wear skirts. I wear dresses in super formal situations so like once every three years lol 66. What is your dress size? XS or S 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? I don’t think I would wear a dress that’s not reaching my knee. Or that goes past my knee, so knee length dresses are my style 68. How expensive was your prom dress? I’m not in high school yet, so 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? My winter jacket 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? No 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? I haven’t 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Never 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yeah of course

74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? I always wear it 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? Always 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? I don’t take it off unless I’m showering or changing it lol 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No lol 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? A bra, going out without panties would feel super uncomfortable 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? Nah, they pretty much never match 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? The only type of underwear I wouldn’t wear is lace. The style doesn’t matter to me, the material/fabric does 81. How much of your underwear is white? I think I have couple 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? No 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I don’t wear it 84. Do you like mascara? Or that, I don’t wear any makeup 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? I don’t wear it lol 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? Yes everytime 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? Just my earrings and my nose ring 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? Well yes ^ my piercings 89. Do you carry a purse at all? I don’t own purses, I mostly use tote bags

90. Do you like tube and halter tops? No

91. Do you like crop tops? I wear them sometimes, yeah 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? I wouldn’t say it’s that uncomfortable but I never show cleavage lol especially when I go out in public 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? Either way is fine 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? No

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? No

96. Do you have any desires to get married? Not yet anyway

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? I haven’t thought of it

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already? I haven’t planned anything

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding? Small

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? Just couple, nothing dramatic lol

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception? I guess indoor, the weather is so unpredictable

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? I’ve never been in a relationship

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? Nah, I’m not romantic

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Yes

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? I people who make me laugh, it’s the best feeling. I also like cool people haha

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? No

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? Nope

110. Do you kiss on the first date? I haven’t been on a date

111. How often do guys hit on you? Never lol

112. Have women ever hit on you? No

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? Well I’m always sober lmao. Anyway, I’ve kissed a girl and I liked it because it was with the right person

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No, or a boy like I said

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? I don’t know

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Something else haha, like a hug and a kiss?

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? I don’t have any exes

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? No

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? Hmm I don’t know who I really admire 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? Noooo, I hate them 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? Only romantic movies that I liked are Titanic and The Two Faces of January 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? I like the story of Cinderella but I wouldn’t say she’s my favorite princess. I don’t have one?

124. What is your favorite Disney song? I don’t know 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nope 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? Never 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I have seen couple episodes of them both but that’s it 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? No 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? I don’t watch them 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Beyoncé 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I used to like Ellen but now I’ve learned some things about her haha, I don’t know that much about Oprah but she seems nice and intelligent?

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No 133. How many male friends do you have? I don’t have any close male friends 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? No, the opposite ‘cos I’m the youngest so I’m like the baby lol 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? No 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Yes my friends 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? I don’t think I have any? 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No lol 139. How healthy do you eat? I eat pretty healthily. Not all the time like I have my “slips” but I’m mainly pretty healthy 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my shoulder 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Umm nothing else? Bunch of receipts I put to my bag after I bought something and never throw them out? lol

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? No 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? Just sometimes when my hands are full lol 144. Do you consider shopping a sport No lol 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Lately online. It’s something I enjoy more actually, even though I like trying on clothes as well 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? I’m not sure actually 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? Never?

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? I like both, idk which one I prefer more 149. How polite do you consider yourself? I’m pretty polite 150. Can you do the splits? Yes 151. Do you like doing any yoga? I like stretching but I’ve never done yoga 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? Yes

153. How well can you write in cursive? Pretty well I guess, but I prefer print 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? I’ve never been on one

155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? No 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? I don’t drive 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? I don’t remember, I guess not? 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Showers 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah haha 160. How strict are you about manners? I’m not super strict about them

#survey #whoops this took longer than i originally thought #themed

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glazslippers · 4 years

Text

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Pairing: Stanley Uris x OC (female) Warnings: cursing

Summary: Quinn had spent her whole life protecting other women from the dangers of men. When she met Stanley, she thought he was just like every other boy she had come across, sex craved and egotistical. Although one of those was correct, that didn’t stop the feelings she felt towards him form.

A/N: this is my first fanfic i’ve posted on here and i honestly feel like a mom on snapchat. if you like it please let me know and i might continue writing things like these in the future! (i’m really sorry if this sucks)

Even though Quinn Macey had moved to Derry less than three months ago, that didn't stop her from making tons of friends. They loved her outgoing and sarcastic personality and the fact that she didn't take shit from anyone. She wouldn't constantly stick up for them at school and in town if there was a guy trying desperately to get into their pants. She was often nicknamed spitfire or hot head or a string of other names, drawing inspiration from her short temper and red hair.

It was no secret that in the three short months she'd lived in Derry, she gained a string of female friends partly because she refused to talk to any of the boys at school or on town. It was her own personal grudge that she held against every living male. They didn't cause anything but trouble in her opinion and the only thing on their mind was sex.

Because of her refusal of boys, many of them and even a few girls had coined her as lesbian, not that she minded. She dressed girly enough, but when she wanted to she could get down and dirty, playing a variety of sports. In her old town, she played on a softball team that won a few state-wide games. She had also dabbled in football and soccer. Though soccer wasn't her favorite, she played it anyway.

When she moved to Derry, she had to quit her team and say goodbye to her friends, which she probably won't hear of again. Starting at the end of the school year might have been hard for anyone else opposite of Quinn. She decided to start out nice, warming up to everyone but when a few guys tried hitting on her, she quickly put her in their place and made it clear she wasn't interested. They had bugged her over and over. If it was just some one time thing she might have looked passed it but since they kept on pestering her, she had to take matters into her own hands.

The last day of school was nearing an end and Quinn found herself eyeing the clock. Her reasoning behind staring at the gadget was nothing more than "maybe if I stare hard enough it'll tick faster." It obviously didn't get the memo, and continued ticking at its agonizingly slow pace.

Maybe it was the sun shining from outside through the classroom window onto her skin, or the fact that she couldn't wait to get out of the retched classroom and was bouncing her leg up and down so much that she had broken out into a small sweat but one thing was certain: today had to be the hottest day of the year.

Quinn thought of the regret she had for wearing jeans and had her hair down while she fanned herself off with her right hand. She had already tied her shirt up as high as the school would allow but it didn't help because of the broken AC system in the class she was in. She looked outside, seeing the seniors leave school early, being dismissed by the teachers because they were upperclassmen and did the calculations in her head. If the seniors already walked out, they must have been released by the teachers, like everyday, five minutes before school let out. Quinn started counting down from 300 in her head.

297, 296, 295.

She couldn't focus on whatever the teacher was saying. The small heat stroke she was having didn't help with focusing either.

230, 229, 228.

She leaned her head back, fanning her neck and wrists. Her once ice filled water bottle became a lake of boiling lava in her metal cup.

134, 133, 132.

Quinn wondered if she had gotten to the halfway mark or already passed it while she was counting. She didn't think she could take one more minute of being without air. Black spots clouded her vision and she lied her head against the window.

97, 96, 95.

She was getting so close. Less than a hundred seconds to go until she could escape the body heat filled room and into the hot summer air. At least she would feel something other than hot.

Quinn was two seconds away from ripping her shirt off and using it as a noose when the bell rang. She sprung up as fast as she could and bolted out of the door. One of her friends, Savannah, walked by her and Quinn grabbed her arm.

"I'm dying," she said in between pants.

Savannah raised an eyebrow at the dramatic girl in front of her. "You good?"

"Do I look good?" Quinn retorted. "I am the definition of lava. If you look it up in the dictionary you'll see a picture of me melting."

"I take it you're hot?"

"How are you not? It's literally two hundred degrees out!"

Savannah rolled her eyes and closed her locker. Ah head just cleaned everything out and placed it all into her book bag. With an amused smile, she looked down at Quinn who had her head against the tall blue lockers. "Wanna go swimming?"

The words sparked energy into Quinn's body. Suddenly, she didn't realize that she had drops of sweat rolling down her face or the bottom of her hair had stuck to her neck. All she cared about was the cool release of hitting the cool body of water and cooling off.

At the mention of swimming, Savannah watched Quinn's eyes widen and laughed. "I'm guessing that's a yes?"

"That's a hell yes!"

Quinn and Savannah hopped out of Savannah's car and Quinn had never undressed herself so fast in her entire life. She stripped down to her underwear and immediately ran and jumped off the cliff that towered over the river. Savannah looked over the edge, worried when her friend didn't pop back up but let out a sigh of relief when Quinn's head poked its familiar red hair out of the water.

"Come in it feels so nice!" She yelled up at the brunette looking over the rocks.

"I don't know, Q. It's pretty high up."

"Just jump! It'll be over in an instant!"

Savannah shook her head and backed away from the edge. "I can't do it."

Quinn rolled her eyes and swam to land. She crawled out of the water and hiked back up to where Savannah was standing. Her wet body weighed her down but the second she rang her hair out it felt as if she lost five pounds.

"Here," Quinn grabbed Savannah's hand. "I'll jump with you."

"Quinn," the brunette whined.

"Don't whine, you baby. It's just a few feet."

"A few feet?" Savannah yelled with wide eyes. "Girl, that is at least three hundred feet."

"Maybe, but once you jump you'll realize it's not that high at all."

"Yeah, but I'm not jumping."

Quinn groaned. "Sav, I'm gonna day this in the nicest way possible: stop being such a pussy and jump."

Savannah frowned. "That was you being nice?"

Quinn shrugged and cornered Savannah where she was back to the edge. "You're either gonna hump or I'm gonna push you. You're choice."

"Quinn," Savannah warned. "You better back up." The ginger smirked and an evil glint shone across her eyes.

If it weren't for a group of teenage boys pulling up on their bikes behind them, Savannah would've been done for. The girls' head snapped around to see who had joined them. There were four boys, obviously outnumbering them and probably had the same idea they had after school let out. They threw their bikes to the ground and some removed their shoes while the other removed their shirts, obviously not noticing the two girls half naked in front of them.

Stanley turned his head to the direction of the cliff, sprinting over to it but stopped when he saw the girls. "Um, what're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Quinn said with a little more attitude than she meant.

"Well, obviously we're gonna swim. So, why don't you too head home and play with some Barbies or whatever."

Quinn scoffed and Savannah sighed, knowing what her friend would do in this situated. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Stanley rolled his eyes. "Get lost."

"I'm sorry, who was here first?"

By now, the rest of the boys came over to their friend, backing him up against the girls or one girl in particular. "We come here every summer so it's our hangout," Richie said.

"Oh, sorry. Well just be on our way then."

Stanley crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows when she didn't move.

"What, you thought I was serious?" Quinn bitterly laugh. "I knew boys were dumb, but I didn't think they were that dumb."

"W-We're not d-dumb!" Bill replied.

"Well?" Stanley said.

"Well what?"

"Leave already!"

Quinn put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "No. We were clearly here first. Doesn't matter if you guys come here every summer or not."

"You must be new around here cause this is our space," Richie spike.

"And so what if I am? I don't see your name on this cliff."

Stanley glared at the girl in front of him. "Who do you think you are?"

"Quinn Macey." She smiled almost taunting him to keep bugging her, which he gladly did.

"Well, Quinn Macey, why don't you and your friend head home before you get yourself jumping off this cliff."

Quinn grabbed Savannah's hand protectively. "Her name is Savannah and I've already jumped it. But you pretty boys are probably too chicken to jump aren't you?"

Stanley scoffed and walked forward, making the friends behind him walk forward too. "You think we can't jump it?"

"Nah I don't think that's it. Maybe it's the fact that you're just threatened by two girls who rightfully deserve to stay at your precious little river."

Stanley laughed. "You think we're threatened by you? A spoiled brat that can't stand not getting what she wants?"

"You little-" Before Quinn could get close to Stanley, Savannah held her back by her arms. Quinn obviously struggled against Savannah's grip but the brunette wasn't looking for a fight, she just wanted to swim.

"Stan, maybe we could just share it," Eddie whispered to the curly headed boy in front of him. He also wasn't looking for a fight and wanted to remain peaceful, knowing Stan was too stubborn to give up and Quinn probably was the same.

"Share? Ed, have you gone crazy? Why would we share the river with some random girls?"

"Well, I don't really wanna fight over it and it seems like the best option. We both get what we want," Eddie shrugged.

"I-I'm fine w-with sharing," said Bill.

"Not you too," Stan sighed and looked at Richie. "Rich, tell them sharing's not an option."

Richie looked away from Stanley, kickoff the dirt underneath him. "I mean, all I want to do is swim. I guess it wouldn't matter if there are chicks in the water or not."

Stanley groaned. "Fine."

"So you guys are leaving?" Quinn asked, crossing her arms.

"No, we're gonna share," Eddie explained. "That way we both can swim."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "No way. There's no way-"

Savannah cut Quinn off. "We'll take it!" At the ginger's gaze she shrugged. "What? I want to swim."

"Good." With that the boys finished taking off their clothes, leaving them in only underwear.

"So, are we swimming with strangers or..." Savannah trailed off.

"That's Bill, Eddie, and Stanley," Richie introduced, "and I'm Richie."

"Savannah and Quinn," the brunette formally introduced.

Stanley and Quinn kept glaring at each other during the introductions as if the first person to look away would lose their little mind game between just the two of them. During this time, Eddie, Bill, and Richie had already jumped from the cliff. Quinn obviously had no intention of moving her gaze until Savannah grabbed her arm. She cursed herself when her head turned to meet Savannah's gaze. Stanley held a satisfying smirk on his face because he had won their staring contest.

"Q, I'm just gonna take the long way down."

Quinn frowned. "No jumping?"

"You know I'm terrified of heights."

"Fine. I'll be down in a minute."

Savannah walked away leaving Quinn alone with Stanley. Stan walked up next to her and got into position for a running start. Quinn followed his actions, giving him a challenging smirk. Stanley narrowed his eyes and shifted his gaze ahead. They took off at the same time, another wordless challenge adapted to see who could jump the farthest.

Quinn thought for sure she jumped farthest and swam back up to the surface with a satisfying smile on her face. That was until she saw Stanley pop his head up and flip the hair out of his eyes. He was just a few feet in front of her and a frown formed on her face when she saw the teasing glint in his eyes as if he was dying to annoy her by saying he had gotten farther than her.

With a huff, Quinn swam over to where Savannah had gotten in at and began chatting with her, occasionally swimming further out to get away from the boys.

Stan tried his best hiding the looks he gave Quinn from afar but the boys had caught on since he wasn't that good at hiding. Richie splashed Stan's face to stop him from staring.

Stanley wiped his face and glared at Richie. "What was that for?"

Richie smirked. "You were staring."

"Was not."

"We're to."

Eddie joined in. "It was kind of obvious that you were staring, Stan."

"Stan l-likes Q-Quinn," Bill teased.

Stanley splashed Bill in the face to shut him up. "No I don't. I'm just annoyed that they're here."

"I'm not," said Eddie. He turned to the girls that were a little further out than they were. "Hey, guys!"

Their heads turned to the voice shouting at them. Stan's eyes went wide as he hit Eddie in the arm. "What are you doing?" He whispered.

Eddie shrugged. "Inviting them over for a game." He turned to the girls that started swimming over, led by Savannah. "Wanna chicken fight?"

"How do you play?" Savannah asked. The boys stood on the shallower end so when the girls came up, the water was up to their chests. Quinn stood behind Savannah with her arms crossed, not particularly wanting to be around Stanley.

"One person gets on another person's shoulders and fights the other team. The first first to knock the other off, wins," Eddie explained.

"Okay, who's gonna get on who?" Quinn questioned.

"We'll switch it up so it doesn't really matter right now."

"Okay, Savannah. Hop on." Quinn went under water and let Savannah climb on top of her shoulders. When she was on, Quinn went back above water and grabbed onto Savannah's thighs so that she wouldn't go anywhere.

"How the hell did you-" Richie started but was interrupted by Quinn.

"Sav's a twig. She weighs, like, two pounds."

Richie got on Bill's shoulders while Eddie and Stanley watched. Richie and Savannah grasped hands and started fighting. Bill and Quinn navigated to help better their team's chances at winning by moving from side to side or forwards and backwards. It was a tough fight, but eventually Richie was the victor. Richie yelled how proud he was and Bill shook him off his shoulders.

"Who's next bitches?" Richie asked, ready for another round.

"I wanna go," Quinn announced. Savannah seemed to have a lot of fun and it would be extremely satisfying to knock one of the boys off. "Sav?"

Savannah's eyes widened. "Um, no offense, but I'm not as strong as you."

Quinn playfully glared at her. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Don't worry, Quinn. Stan's pretty strong, he'll be able to hold you," Richie winked.

"I'm not fat!"

"Alright, Eddie get your ass over here so I can get on your shoulders. Quinn you get on Stan's shoulders," Richie instructed. Stan and Quinn's eyes widened at the boy's words.

"No way!" They yelled in unison.

"Everyone else has gone. Stop being losers so we can play the game."

"Fine," Stanley huffed and went under water so Quinn would have an easier time of getting on. After a few seconds, he still didn't feel her weight on his shoulders and popped back up. "You just gonna let me drown?"

"That was the plan," Quinn admitted with a smirk on her face.

"Will you just get on, brat?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist." Stanley dipped back under water and Quinn crossword over his shoulders. He came back up and placed his hands a little too high up for Quinn's comfort. She smacked them away but the second she started falling back tugged on Stan's hair. His neck got hot and the tips of his ears went red. "Got a thing for hair pulling, pretty boy?"

"I won't hesitate to let go," Stanley warned.

The truth of the matter was that Stanley was beet red. Only Eddie and Richie could see him like this and to anyone else they would've thought that Stan was just having a tough time keeping Quinn up. Except that was the opposite of what was happening. Stanley was quite strong as he used the muscles in his legs to hoist them up out of the water.

It just so happened that the mix of hair pulling (one of his turn ons), the fact that her stomach was up against his head, and the his touch on her thighs made him blush all over. Oh, and also because her crotch was sitting on the back of his neck.

Quinn and Richie joined hands and the boy knew that if Stanley was in his place he would've had a field day at what he was witnessing. Because Quinn was bent over and her arms had squeezed to the sides of her breasts to meet Richie's arms, her boobs had smushed together. Richie didn't dare look but he could still see them from where he looked on her face.

They fought back and forth, Quinn pushing at Richie and the other way around. She would occasionally grab onto Stan's head to regain her balance and when she did, Stanley backed up so that Richie wouldn't take the opportunity to knock her off. After a few minutes of struggling on both ends, Quinn eventually pushed Richie off Eddie's shoulders.

The boy went down with a loud yell and defeated, emerged from the water with a frown. "I really just got beat by a girl."

Quinn had a proud smile on her face. "Don't take it personal, I'm just stronger than you." She patted Stanley's head. "You can let me down now."

Stanley went under water and released his grip on Quinn's thighs. Once he didn't feel her on him anymore, he returned to the surface, almost bumping into her. Neither said anything, but both had a small blush on their cheeks as they swam to their separate groups.

Savannah didn't miss the pink tint on Quinn's cheeks and shared a knowing look with Eddie. She and Eddie walked onto land that was about two yards away to get away from the others.

"So, are they in love or are they in love?" Savannah laughed.

"All of the above," Eddie responded with a smile similar to the girl in front of him and looked at Quinn and Stanley who were hiding behind both Richie and Bill.

"And what are we gonna do about it?" Savannah asked, rocking on her feet.

"What do you mean?"

Savannah rolled her eyes. "Well, if we're gonna set them up we gotta have a plan."

"Oh, right. How about we all go to the movies and make them sit next to each other?" His eyes suddenly went wide at the thought he had. "And they can share a bucket of popcorn!"

"Shh," Savannah shushed him. "That's a good idea. But what movie are we gonna see?"

"How about a horror movie?" Eddie suggested.

"That's genius! I know Quinn and she gets scared easily. A scary movie will have her jumping into his arms."

"The theater's doing a rerun of all the eighties scary movies on Saturdays. So tomorrow they'll be playing A Nightmare on Elm Street."

Savannah nodded. "We'll be there."

"Are you gonna be scared?"

Savannah laughed at his question. "Hell no. If there's one thing I have over Quinn it's scary movies. I love them, she hates them."

"Alright, we'll meet you guys there at six, okay? By the time we get out, it'll be dark."

"I'll make an excuse on why I can't take her home and then Stan'll have to walk her." She wiggled her eyebrows.

After a few more hours in the water, it started getting dark out, which meant it was time to leave. Quinn decided against putting on her jeans and instead slipped her shirt over her head and put on her socks and shoes. Her shirt was rather large because it was her mom's so it came down a little above the bottom of her butt, still showing the underwear underneath.

Savannah didn't miss Stanley's stare directed towards Quinn's body and held a big smile on her face. Once in the car, Quinn questioned why Savannah was smiling so large.

"Cause I have a huge crush on Stanley Uris."

Quinn didn't sense the joking tone in her voice and replied with a simple, "Oh."

Savannah snorted at her friend who stared out the window like her soul had just collapsed. "I'm just kidding, he's all yours."

Quinn's head snapped to the driver and scowled. "I do not have a crush on Stanley. Did you not witness what I witnessed today? He was an ass."

"Or maybe, he was having a bad day."

"Or maybe, he's an ass."

Savannah rolled her eyes and continued driving. "Wanna go see a movie tomorrow with the boys?"

"Is-"

Savannah interrupted Quinn's question. "Is Stan gonna be there? Yes."

Quinn glared. "That's not what I was gonna ask. Is someone gonna pay for my ticket? Cause I don't have any money."

"I'll pay for you, sugar baby." Savannah winked.

"Thanks daddy." The girls erupted into laughter.

The next day, Savannah showed up at Quinn's house just before five. Quinn was still getting ready as Savannah walked into her room. She was contemplating whether or not to wear her smaller hoops or go bold and wear larger ones. "Which ones?"

Savannah raised an eyebrow at Quinn's attire. She wore a short blue sundress that had no sleeves and reached just above her mid thigh. It might have been one of the shortest dresses she owned but it definitely wasn't number one. She didn't wear any makeup, like always, but had lip gloss on her lips.

"The small ones," Savannah decided and watched Quinn put them on in the mirror. "Is all this for Stanley?"

"Will you shut up? It's hot outside and I am not making the same mistake as yesterday."

"I'm guessing that's the same for the earrings, lip gloss, and perfume?"

Quinn have her a look. "We're going to the movies with a group of people. Why not get a little dolled up?

They hung out for awhile at Quinn's house until it was time to leave. They both hopped in Savannah's car and drove into town where they would meet the boys at the movie theater. Savannah had yet to tell Quinn what movie they were going to see but she could only assume it wasn't something sappy if the boys were tagging along. Or maybe they were tagging along with the boys. Either way, they were going to see a movie and Quinn hoped it was going to be good.

The boys were already waiting for them as they pulled up and parked. Quinn noticed there was one less male from yesterday and furrowed her eyebrows as they neared the group. "Where's Stanley?"

Eddie and Savannah looked at each other knowingly while Richie responded. "He's inside away from the heat. We've been here for awhile."

"It is pretty hot out," Quinn admitted. "How long have you guys been here?"

"Since four thirty. Eddie forgot what time we needed to be here so we've just camped out waiting for you two," Richie explained.

"Well, lets go in and buy our tickets."

Savannah bought her and Quinn's ticket while the boys bought theirs. When it came to who was getting popcorn, Bill and Richie would share a bucket, so would Savannah and Eddie and Quinn and Stanley.

"Wait, why can't we share a bucket?" Quinn asked Savannah as she took the bucket of buttery popcorn in her hands. Movie theater popcorn was her favorite kind of popcorn. It was popped fresh in front of you and you could determine how much butter you wanted on it.

"Cause I'm not sitting next to you. I'm sitting next to Eddie," Savannah said as they walked into the theater where the movie was playing.

Eddie sat next to Savannah, who was adjacent to Bill and Richie. Quinn found herself sandwiches between Richie and Stanley. A duo she didn't know if she could handle without her open minded friend. Reluctantly, she handed the bucket of popcorn to Stanley. If she wanted some later, she'd grab it herself. When she usually shared, Quinn would set the popcorn on the arm rest but right now she wanted to rest her arm on it.

After what seemed liked a thousand previews of every movie other than the one they were watching, the movie started. The theater went black and the only lights were the emergency ones and the big screen in front of them. Quinn grabbed popcorn and shoved it in her mouth, almost chocking when she saw the title come up on the screen.

THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

Quinn watched in horror with wide eyes then turned to her left, looking over Richie and Bill and scowled at Savannah who was happily eating popcorn. Resting her back into the chair, Quinn sank down and mentally groaned.

"What is it?" Stanley whispered.

"I wouldn't have come if I knew we were watching this," Quinn responded. She would rather puke her own guts out than watch anything gruesome or filled with jump scares. Unfortunately for her, it would be a long night full of violence and scares.

Quinn wasn't expecting a sex scene to show up and the moment it did, she immediately became uncomfortable. Thankfully, it passed by quick enough and she was left with more agonizing jump scares. One scene in particular made her grab onto Stanley's hand that was resting on the arm rest.

The movie continued with little touches like that. Sometimes when Quinn stuck her hand inside the bucket of popcorn, Stan's hand would be there too and they would brush up against each other.

Then there were times when Quinn got really scared and hid herself in Stan's shoulder to stop herself from watching the screen. Stanley was more than okay with the times she got scared. He didn't want to seem too forward and comfort her back but he let her continue hiding in his shoulder.

When the movie ended, Quinn bolted out of the theater to finally get air and leaned against the wall, the rest following shortly after.

"S-Scared of a m-movie, Q-Quinn?" Bill teased.

"Not at all. I was just getting a little hot," she lied. The group walked to the front of the theater and Quinn looked out the windows with wide eyes. "Oh, it's dark."

"That a problem?"

"No," Quinn snapped a little too harsh at Richie's taunt. "I think we should head home, Sav."

"About that, mom said I needed to be home at eight and it's already seven fifty-two. Could you walk home?"

"A-Alone? Out there?" Quinn's gaze went from Savannah to the pitch black outside.

"Stan can walk you home," Eddie suggested and nudged his friend. "Right, Stan?"

Stanley's head shot up at the mention of his name. "What?"

"You'll walk Quinn home, right?"

"Uh," Stanley looked at Quinn who seemed nervous about walking home alone. His expression softened. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, well I had fun guys, but I should go so my mom doesn't rip my head off and feeds it to the dog." Savannah waved goodbye and got in her car and left. Richie, Eddie, and Bill all left together, leaving Stanley and Quinn alone.

"So, did you like the movie?" Stan asked.

"Hell no."

Stanley laughed and Quinn felt her heart beat a little faster when he did. "I take it your not much of a horror fan?"

"I avoid them like the plague." Quinn crossed her arms and continued looking outside, almost as if she was looking for any supernatural creature or serial killer hidden behind street lamps or alleyways.

"Where do you live?"

"The culdesac off Baker Street," Quinn responded. When they started to walk, she noticed her shoe was untied and told him to wait as she bent down and tied it. "Okay, we can-" Quinn gasped and froze when she felt a hand come in contact with her bottom.

Stanley's eyes widened and his head shot to the culprit. It was some teen who didn't go to their school. Luckily, he was Stan's height so when the Jew grabbed hold of the boy's collar and lift him up, he didn't have to move far. While up in the air, Stanley pinched him in the face and threw him on the ground. Some of the people in the same area witnessed it happen and also saw that when the manager came out, Stan grabbed Quinn's hand and ran outside. They didn't stop running until the theater was out of sight.

Quinn was in shock and confusion by what had just happened and who she had froze instead of beat the boy to a pulp then and there. Maybe when you've defended other girls your whole life, it comes as a shock when it actually happens to you. Quinn was extremely lucky to have had Stanley there beside her in her vulnerable moment and snuck a glance in his direction.

His forehead glistened under the lamp's light because of the sweat from running and he stuck his hands into his pant pockets. He looked down and tried to regain his breath. They walked in silence for a few paces until Quinn finally spoke up. "Thank you."

Stanley looked over at her. He wasn't going to push the subject on her so he let her speak first before asking any further questions. "It was nothing. Are you okay?"

Quinn nodded and frowned. "I should've chopped his dick off and made him eat it right there." Stanley raised and eyebrow and Quinn huffed. "All I've done my life is try to protect other girls from men like that but the second it happens to me I freeze? It's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic. It's just different when it comes to protecting yourself. Instead of an offense attack, it's defense. Two different tactics."

"Then I guess I need more practice on defensive strategies."

They walked through the dark with only the light of the street lamps over their heads. From her left, Quinn heard a bush shake quickly and pounced onto Stanley's side, grabbing onto his arm for dear life. He looked down at her and the second she realized there was no danger, she looked at him. It was only for a second before she jumped back to where she was beside him earlier.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"I-It's fine." He looked down at her and bit his lip. "If you weren't just sexually assaulted, I'd ask to kiss you."

Anger rose in Quinn's body until his full sentence registered in her mind and her face softened. "Y-You would?"

"Yeah. You're pretty and confident and when you jump into me it makes me feel more like a man."

Quinn rolled her eyes with a smile. "I guess I wouldn't mind if you asked."

"Really?" Quinn nodded. "So, can I kiss you?" Quinn nodded again and Stanley bent down and placed his lips on top of hers. Even with the limited knowledge about these encounters didn't stop her from kissing back. Her hands made their way up his neck and while one stayed there, the other trailed up into his hair and twirled it around her finger. Stanley placed his hands on her sides and pulled her in closer so that their hips were touching. He was bold enough to run his tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entrance and she was fine with it, letting him in.

Their little kiss had turned into a make-out session in the middle of the sidewalk until a sound from behind Quinn made her break away and dart her head towards it. It was just a bird flying out from the bush but that didn't stop her heart from pounding fifty miles an hour. Stanley's puffy lips turned up into a smile as he grabbed hold of her hand, reassuring her that it was alright.

"Sorry," Quinn apologized and under his gaze, blushed. He was the only one that had ever made her blush and she didn't know how to act.

"It's fine. Come on, we're almost there." They continued to walk, neither one talking about their shared moment just a few steps ago and fell into a silence before Stanley broke it. "You know, as a man, I don't claim him as part of my gender."

Quinn chuckled. "'As a man,' huh?"

Stanley scoffed in shock. "I am eighteen. Legally I am a man. And I look like one, too." He flexed his muscles.

Quinn let her eyes sweep over his body. "Whatever you say, pretty boy."

"Pretty man," Stan corrected with a smile and Quinn just rolled her eyes.

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

girl talk

GENERAL WOMANHOOD:

1. Do you like the color pink? Yeah, various shades of it.

2. How easily do you cry? I’m a crybaby.

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? Lately I’ve been eating a lot of Wingstop. That’s been my thing. I also like my bowl of ramen every night.

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? That has literally never happened to me as I have small boobs. <<< lol same.

5. What time of month is your time? I don’t have that anymore.

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? I got really bad PMS/PMDD and was extra sensitive and moody. I’m like that all the time now even without that.

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? Nope. That was never a possibility. 8. Have you ever been on the pill? No. 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I don’t want to have kids. 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? No. 11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? Christmas is the only one I really decorate for anymore and I go all out. 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? I can’t cook at all besides ramen. 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? ^^^ 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? I like making ramen. lol. That’s literally all I cook if you even want to count that cause it’s so easy. Besides that, anything I else I make is oven or microwavable. or a sandwich. 15. Can you sew? Nope. 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? How do you determine that? I mean, if it means makeup and dresses, then not very cause I haven’t worn makeup in over a year and it’s been a few years since I’ve worn a dress. I’m all about comfy casual. That doesn’t make me masculine, though. I’m curious what you think makes someone feminine or not. 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No. 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? I mean, I care about women’s rights and believe we should have equal opportunities and such as men and all that. 19. How do you define “girl power”? Uhh, I don’t know. A strong, confident woman. 20. How much of a neat freak are you? I used to be more of a neat freak, but I don’t have the energy or motivation anymore. My room isn’t a disaster, but it’s messier than I ever used to let it get. It’s just cluttered. I need to go through and get rid stuff, but blah. 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? No. 22. Breastfeeding or formula? Mothers should do what they feel is best and works for them and the baby. 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think payment should be individual but obviously not based on sex. <<< Yeah, like everyone can’t be paid the exact same. There’s other factors. But people doing the same job and putting in the same work should be paid the same. 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I don’t care, I think everyone should just do what they’re interested in. <<< 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. Not that I can think of. 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? I have my chatty moods now and then.

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I don’t know. 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? Menstrual cycles sucked, but I don’t have those anymore. 30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. I just am.

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yes. I was obsessed with Barbies, I played for hoursss.

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? Yeah, when I was younger I did sometimes.

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Yes.

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? No.

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? No.

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? Nope.

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? Yeah, with my cousins all the time as kids.

38. Do you belong to a sorority? Nope.

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? Yeah. I had a physical one in middle school up to my sophomore year in high school and then I moved on to online journals. This is my journal now.

40. At what age did you get your first period? 13.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? Down to my butt, which is how long it was until I cut a couple inches off recently. It was like that when I was a kid, too. Perhaps even a little longer.

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? Uhh, do you mean bangs? If so, yes. I had them until college and then I did the side swept thing for awhile.

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? Pony tail, bun, or braid.

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? Countless times now. I first got highlights in middle school and did that for awhile before dyeing it black my sophomore year. I then went back to highlights until dyeing it red in 2015. I’ve been doing that ever since.

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I think 90lbs.

46. How muscular are you? I’m not anymore. :/ I used to have toned arms, but I lost my muscle mass over these past few years due to health stuff and just not being active like I used to be.

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? Nope.

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? Nope.

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I haven’t in a long time.

50. How often do you paint your nails? It’s been a few years since the last time I painted them.

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? Once. I got them done for my 8th grade promotion.

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? Yeah.

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I don’t have to shave my legs often. It’s never been an issue, like hair doesn’t really grow there.

54. How white are your teeth? I could use a Crest white strip or something.

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? No.

56. How much do you look like your mother? I have a lot of her features, but a lot of my dad’s, too.

57. How much do you look like your father? ^^^^

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? I like dyeing my hair red.

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? Everything.

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? I think my facial expressions give it away. It’s obvious when I’m annoyed or in discomfort.

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? Leggings and graphic tees. 62. How big is your closet? Not big at all. 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Ha, yeah. 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? The only brand I really care about and have a lot of is Adidas. 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? I haven’t in years. 66. What is your dress size? Small. 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? I like the length to go to my knees and I wear pantyhose/tights underneath. I’m very self-conscious about my legs. 68. How expensive was your prom dress? I think it was like $80. 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? My Adidas clothes. 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? No. 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? Nope. 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? I only take a picture if I really like the shirt I’m wearing. 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yeah, while at home. 74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? I wear one whenever I go somewhere. 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? I don’t. 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? I don’t work, but when I get home from wherever I’ll likely just wait until bedtime. 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? Nope. 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? Bra. 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? Nah. 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? Hipster/hip huggers whatever you wanna call ‘em. 81. How much of your underwear is white? I don’t have any plain white pairs. 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? No. 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I used to wear it sometimes back when I wore makeup regularly. 84. Do you like mascara? That’s a must when I wear makeup. 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? I haven’t worn any in over a year. 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? I do all the time. A few years ago I never would have done that. 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? I was wearing earrings I got for Christmas for awhile, but I took them out a couple weeks ago cause my ears were irritated. 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? Just those earrings for awhile. Before that, it had been a few years. I used to have 3 rings I wore literally 24/7 for a long time until one day I took them off for some reason and never put them back on. 89. Do you carry a purse at all? I’ve been using a mini backpack. 90. Do you like tube and halter tops? No. 91. Do you like crop tops? No. 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? This girl does not have cleavage lol. <<< 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? I don’t do swim suits. 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? I don’t wear them, but if I did yeah I would want them to match.

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? Nope.

96. Do you have any desires to get married? No.

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? It’s not something I put much thought into at all. I’m not the type of person who has dreamt of their wedding day since they were a kid or anything. I honestly don’t see myself ever getting married.

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already?

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding?

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple?

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception?

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single.

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? 3 years if you count the Joseph situation.

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? No. I think I’ve just been hardened by life ha.

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Yes.

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Just nice, caring, genuine, patient, understanding guys with a sense of humor.

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. I have no interest in that.

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? I had a friend who always wanted to do that.

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? Nope.

110. Do you kiss on the first date? If it felt right.

111. How often do guys hit on you? It’s been years since that has happened and even when it did, it wasn’t often.

112. Have women ever hit on you? A friend I had always got flirty when she was drunk.

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? No. I’ve done that while drunk either.

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No.

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? There’s more factors than that.

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Something else, honestly. Like coffee.

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? Not anymore.

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? That’s a personal choice. Do what feels right to you.

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? There aren’t any I admire specifically, I just like keeping up with the celebrity gossip and entertainment. It’s entertaining and a distraction from my own life. 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? I’m a sucker for romantic comedies. 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? I have several. 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Ariel.

124. What is your favorite Disney song? “In a World of My Own” from Alice in Wonderland, “Part of Your World” from Little Mermaid, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” from Toy Story, “Hakuna Matata” from Lion King, “Bare Necessities” from The Jungle Book, “Winnie the Pooh” from Winnie the Pooh... that’s just to name a few, there’s several others. Disney songs are catchy. 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nah, I never got into that. I can’t believe they’re on their 16th season now. 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? I’ve seen parts of it here and there. I never got into it. 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I used to watch America’s Next Top Model. Even the last 2 recent seasons. I’d watch it again if they brought it back. 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? No. 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? Not usually. Sometimes I will. 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Beyonce. 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I like both.

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? Nope. 133. How many male friends do you have? I don’t have any friends. 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? Yes. 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? No. 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Jokingly, yeah. 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? I think I only have a few. 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No? 139. How healthy do you eat? I don’t. 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my shoulder. 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Hand sanitizer, mini hair brush, chapstick, medicine, and maybe a water bottle.

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? It seemed that way a lot in my bigger purses. I always had to dig around for everything. 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? No. 144. Do you consider shopping a sport No lol. Especially not when you do it from home in bed like I do. There’s nothing active about that, ha. 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Online. 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? The most was when I got my first MacBook. 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? I don’t anymore. I used to sometimes when I had friends and social life.

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Coffee, always. 149. How polite do you consider yourself? I think I’m pretty polite. 150. Can you do the splits? Nope. 151. Do you like doing any yoga? No. 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? No. My handwriting is shit. 153. How well can you write in cursive? My cursive is awful. 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? No. 155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? Well, I’ve done a few online Bible study groups. 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticked by using your looks? I don’t drive so I’ve never been pulled over. That wouldn’t work, though. I’m ugly and I don’t have the personality or confidence either. 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? Yeah, like apple cider. Especially when I was a kid to be “cool” haha. 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Showers. I haven’t taken a bath since I was a kid. 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah. 160. How strict are you about manners? I think they’re important.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #this is a loooong one

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nostalgiaispeace · 4 years

Text

1755.

GENERAL WOMANHOOD:

1. Do you like the color pink?

yeah

2. How easily do you cry?

very easily

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad?

nothing

4. How often do you experience boob sweat?

too often now

5. What time of month is your time?

the end

6. How moody are you when you are on your period?

very

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? yeah 8. Have you ever been on the pill? yes 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? yes, i want a baby 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? no 11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? not really my thing 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? an alright one 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? pesto 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? baking 15. Can you sew? i think i still can 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? not very 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? no 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? not really. 19. How do you define “girl power”? a woman doing what she wants 20. How much of a neat freak are you? not much of one 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? only when i have my period 22. Breastfeeding or formula? both are fine 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? no politics here please 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? - 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? pro life 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. not that i’m aware of 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? a chatterbox

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? idk 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? periods

30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. i was born this way

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child?

yes

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces?

probably

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout?

yeah

34. Have you ever been a ballerina?

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader?

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen?

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover?

yeah

38. Do you belong to a sorority?

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?

yeah

40. At what age did you get your first period?

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again?

to my butt and probably not

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows?

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most?

a bun

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often?

yes, not often anymore

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing?

fml

46. How muscular are you?

not at all

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes?

not anymore

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of?

yes, i have 9 on different parts of my body

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them?

50. How often do you paint your nails?

i paint my toes when they need to be

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails?

yeah

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes?

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs?

whenever

54. How white are your teeth?

they’re fine

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity?

yeah

56. How much do you look like your mother?

idk

57. How much do you look like your father?

i’ve been told i look like him

58. What do you think is your best physical feature?

nothing

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature?

my body

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions?

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? tshirts 62. How big is your closet? normal sized 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? well yeah 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? i don’t have one 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? dresses and for special occasions 66. What is your dress size? large 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? knee length 68. How expensive was your prom dress? - 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? my wedding dress 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? not really 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? yeah 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Never. 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? yeah 74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? lol never 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? never 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? - 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? bra 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? no 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? comfortable ones 81. How much of your underwear is white? a good amount 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? no 83. Do you like eyeshadow? Sure 84. Do you like mascara? Yeah 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? ether none or just a little 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? yes 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? 2 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? my wedding bands 89. Do you carry a purse at all? Yes 90. Do you like tube and halter tops? no 91. Do you like crop tops? no 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? no 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? bikinis 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? no

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often?

yes, onces

96. Do you have any desires to get married?

well i am so

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding?

i thought about it for a while

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already?

it’s over fam

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding?

i had a small one

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple?

i have zero

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception?

mine was outdoor

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status?

married

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had?

7 years

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all?

yes

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to?

no, male

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to?

strength

107. Have you ever been on a blind date?

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date?

yeah

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you?

110. Do you kiss on the first date?

111. How often do guys hit on you?

not often

112. Have women ever hit on you?

yeah

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it?

yes and no

115. Have you ever dated another woman?

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious?

idk

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else?

chocolate

118. Are you friends with any of your exes?

yes

119. Is sex before marriage wrong?

technically

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? Lana 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? yes, the holiday 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? yes 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Belle 124. What is your favorite Disney song? don’t have one 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? No 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? I have not 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? ANTM 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? no 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? duh 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? neither 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? neither

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No 133. How many male friends do you have? 3 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? no 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? no 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? no 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? none i don’t think 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? no 139. How healthy do you eat? not that healthy 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? shoulder 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. chapstick, mask, fidget, pen, shopping list

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? yes 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? no 144. Do you consider shopping a sport no 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? online 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? a couple hundred 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? never

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? coffee 149. How polite do you consider yourself? i hope decently polite 150. Can you do the splits? No 151. Do you like doing any yoga? no 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? i don’t think so 153. How well can you write in cursive? well enough 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? no 155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? no 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticked by using your looks? No. 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? no 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Showers 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? yeah 160. How strict are you about manners? a normal amount

#me #survey

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flightandsurvival · 4 years

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Ayyyye.

General Womanhood

1. Do you like the color pink? I like a nice dusty rose.

2. How easily do you cry? It depends.

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? When I’m sad I eat a lot of pastries.

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? Anytime that the humidity is over 40%.

5. What time of month is your time? I don’t have that anymore.

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? Not really.

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? Nope.

8. Have you ever been on the pill? Currently. 9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I think about it from time to time. I’m not sure if I will have children one day or not. 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? Nope, and I’m not sure. 11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? I don’t like decorating. At all. 12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? Mediocre. 13. What is your favorite thing to cook? Stir fry. 14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? Baking. 15. Can you sew? I can. It’s not pretty though. 16. How feminine do you consider yourself? I’m female. I don’t know... I’m regularly feminine. 17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No. 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes, absolutely. 19. How do you define “girl power”? Women supporting women. 20. How much of a neat freak are you? Not really much of a neat freak at all. 21. How you ever wished you were born a male? Nope. 22. Breastfeeding or formula? Whatever is best for the person breastfeeding. 23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think that anyone, regardless of sex, gender, ability, etc., doing the same job with the same quality should be paid the same wages. I also think that all wages should meet the cost of living inflation. 24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I think that every profession needs more women. Women are wonderful. 25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? I am heavily pro-choice. 26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. Yes. Usually in microaggressions, sometimes in overt ways that are disguised as “humor”. 27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? Lol, no. I’m fairly quiet.

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I’m not sure. This is a generalization I won’t make. 29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? No. 30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. Women are magic.

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yup.

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? Probably hearts.

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Nope.

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? Nope.

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? Yes, my whole family was involved in cheerleading.

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? No.

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? Many times.

38. Do you belong to a sorority? Nope.

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? I currently have a journal, good self-care.

40. At what age did you get your first period? 12.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? I think the longest has been low back. It’s getting there and I have no intentions of cutting it at the moment.

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? I’ve had fringe. I’ve never had hair that short beyond the bald baby years.

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? Loose.

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? Many times, many weird colors, and whenever I am feeling the need for change.

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I’m truly at my heaviest now, 220lb.

46. How muscular are you? I’m fairly muscular. I’m a strong lady.

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? I had my nipples, nose, and lip pierced. Right now it’s just my ears.

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? I’ve got a dragon (left shoulder blade), a dream catcher (low back), an unalome (nape), a lotus (sternum), and an elephant (left inner/upper arm).

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I love a little matte lipstick. I wear it almost everyday unless it’s Winter. In Winter the SAD takes over and I don’t give a fuck about putting on makeup.

50. How often do you paint your nails? Not often.

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? Yup.

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? Yes.

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I shave my legs 2-3 times a week.

54. How white are your teeth? Fairly white.

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? America Ferrera, Gina Rodriguez. Lol... I’m Chinese.

56. How much do you look like your mother? Not much, I spent a lot of my childhood with people asking me if I was adopted. I’m not.

57. How much do you look like your father? Very much so. We 100% look like father and daughter.

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? My skin. I have great skin. I also have great hair.

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? My very fat upper arms. It makes it hard to find shirts that fit well.

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? Fairly good.

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? Workout leggings and t-shirts. 62. How big is your closet? Not big. 63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Literally always. 64. What is your favorite fashion brand? For Days, Torrid, Aerie. 65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? Yes, regularly. 66. What is your dress size? Large, 14. 67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? Finger tips. 68. How expensive was your prom dress? $500 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? I’m not sure. 70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? I will not ever wear stilettos, but I definitely wear heels on the regular. 71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? Yes. 72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Not often enough. 73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yes. 74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? Nearly always. 75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? Rarely. 76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? Within 10 minutes. 77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No. 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? Panties. 79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? I have never owned a matching set. 80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? Thongs during the day, full butt panties for bedtime. 81. How much of your underwear is white? Not many pairs. 82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? Not that I can recall. 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I do. 84. Do you like mascara? Yup. 85. How much makeup do you typically wear? Depends on how I’m feeling. Sometimes none, sometimes a little, sometimes a shit ton. 86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? Yes. Often. 87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? The original jewelry put in when I got my rook pierced and 3 rings. 88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? See previous answer. 89. Do you carry a purse at all? I have a backpack. 90. Do you like tube and halter tops? Not really. 91. Do you like crop tops? Sometimes. 92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? Yes. 93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? Either. 94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? No.

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? When I was little. Just once.

96. Do you have any desires to get married? Nope.

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? Not long lol.

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already? If I ever did choose to get married it would be done in the Fall, likely late September or early October. It would be at an apple orchid. That’s it.

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding? Small as shit.

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? Small handful. Sammy, Joanie, Brookie, Ellie. It’s a theme.

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception? Outdoor. Yes.

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single.

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? 14 months, very on and off though... Carter was a straight nine months.

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? Oh absolutely. I love love. I love caring for people, loving people, and connecting with people.

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Nope, a male.

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Honesty.

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? Yes.

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? I did until recently. They worked enough to go on dates, but nothing serious came out of it.

110. Do you kiss on the first date? I would if it felt right.

111. How often do guys hit on you? Lol, I am not someone who picks up on that. I need very direct cues. Example- a good friend and I hung out at my place, I truly believed we were just good friends hanging out. Then he straight up asked if I wanted to makeout and suddenly we were in my bed.

112. Have women ever hit on you? Yes.

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? Yes. It was weird, I was young and it was my best friend at the time.

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No.

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? It’s far more nuanced than that. If we’ve been together for a month but have spent every day together and are in constant contact, I’d say we’re relatively serious. If were together for four months but see each other like once a week and don’t keep in regular contact we’re not serious.

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Flowers are nice. I’d probably be more excited with like a spontaneous trip to the MSPCA to play with the cats... but that’s just me.

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? Nope. One ex cannot even be in the same room with me without a very heavy tension invading the space between- I’m not even sure why he was awful to me and I’m super over it lol. The other one I have no interactions with and truly I wish him well but I’d also be happy not running into him ever.

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? Nope. Sex is only wrong if there isn’t consent.

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? I admire Amy Brenneman tremendously. She’s a wonderful actress, she’s a humanitarian, and she’s truly such a kind human. I was able to meet her, it was amazing. 121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? I think they’re okay. No favorites. 122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? No. I don’t really live movies. My adult ADHD is too real. 123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Badass homie Mulan. Not just because she’s Chinese but because she’s the most badass. Also she isn’t actually a princess but she get lumped into that category.

124. What is your favorite Disney song? All is Found from Frozen 2. 125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nope, it is an uncomfortable concept. 126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? Yup. 127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I loved ANTM as a kid. Mostly I liked the drama of the makeovers. 128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? Nope. 129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? Nope. 130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Both. 131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I don’t watch either but they’re both really great people.

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No. 133. How many male friends do you have? A good amount. 134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? Yes. 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? Yes. 136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Yes. 137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? Idk. 138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No. 139. How healthy do you eat? Not the most healthy. 140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my back. I like backpacks. 141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Pen, notebook, chromebook, doTerra essential oil roll on, hand lotion.

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? Yes. 143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? Yes. 144. Do you consider shopping a sport No. 145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Online. 146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? Not sure. 147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? Nearly never. I’ve got course work, internship, and actual work. I only see my friends at work right now.

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Both. 149. How polite do you consider yourself? Polite enough. 150. Can you do the splits? Nope. 151. Do you like doing any yoga? Yes. 152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? Yes.

153. How well can you write in cursive? Well. 154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Yes. 155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? I will have a book club after Spring break for work- I work at a school and one of my students asked to have a book club. 156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? No. 157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? Yes. 158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Baths, if the tub is big enough to have my boobs and knees and I have a bath bomb 159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah. 160. How strict are you about manners? I’m not “strict” about it, but general rule of thumb is don’t be a dick.

#survey #about me #me #personal #questionnaire

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sinsofafangirl · 5 years

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Chapter Three.

"You're just a stupid little girl who has done nothing but ruin everything I've ever worked for - your father would be ashamed"

"I'm glad your father's dead, he doesn't have to see what a wretch and a cancer you've become"

"Police Academy?! Ha! Maybe I'll get lucky and someone sensible with half a brain will shoot you like your failure of a father"

Ava woke with a start, her body jolting upright, her eyes still heavy with sleep unable to focus on her unfamiliar surroundings as her heart pounded erratically and her chest heaved as she struggled to shake off the remnants of the all too familiar dream. Too caught up in regaining her composure she never noticed the bucket of water or the person throwing it until she was drenched and spluttering. Her hands came up to rub her eyes in an attempt to once again clear her vision before throwing a glare at the offending person "'bout time you woke up, almost thought you'd died and saved me a whole lotta trouble" a roll of her eyes indicated she'd heard him, she just refused to give him a reaction. Of fucking course it'd be Jacob Seed to get her wet in the frosty early morning air and not in the good way. "Fuck off, Seed" came her irked reply mentally slapping herself for actually responding to him "someone wake up on the wrong side of the cage this morning?" a question asked without an ounce of genuine care and a smirk so fraudulent it made her old Barbie dolls seem a hundred per cent real in comparison. Ava didn't reply and instead huffed in annoyance; she was exhausted and her entire body ached from having to sleep on the dirty floor all night so she was in no mood for being patronised by an asshole choosing to focus on trying to untangle the mess of brunette hair with nothing but her fingers - unsuccessfully I might add which only worsened her already sour mood. Refusing to give up her hands continued as best they could to untangle some of the easier knots and avoiding the still tender area of where she'd been struck a few hours earlier.

Cerulean blue eyes watched as she stubbornly refused to give up enjoying the small huffs of frustration he'd hear occasionally. If he was any sort of gentleman he'd offer her an extra set of hands but he found watching her struggle much more entertaining. Instead the former army marksman took the opportunity to study the young woman sitting awkwardly in his cage; always know your enemy he thought as his gaze wandered over her. Now that it was daytime he could get a good look at her; hair a chocolaty brown and even though it was currently a mess you could see she took care of it, she must have been about 5"2 and a hundred and five pounds if that which surprised him considering she put quite a bit of force into the kick to his face last night - not enough to hurt him too much but she still managed to draw blood. That didn't mean anything to him though, she was still weak and he looked forward to putting her through her paces and beyond but for now his studying continued now noting her eyes that were a sea green "you getting off on this, Seed?" then there was that mouth of hers always too quick with a smart remark and a sarcastic comment - that would soon change, he'd break that bad habit first. "You could have avoided all of this if you and your friends had just walked away" which was true but Ava wasn't about to admit that especially not to Jacob who currently sat upon a metal chair, his large arms folded across his chest whilst his legs stretched out before him crossing at his feet; dickhead came to mind as she finally gave up on trying to tame her unruly hair and turned her attention to the eldest of the three siblings. Easier to see him properly within the early morning rays of sunshine peeking through. The photos provided within the manila folder didn't give much detail; too grainy to actually make anything out but now in the morning light she noticed just how beautiful his eyes were and yes, she hated herself for admitting it and yes, she almost threw up in her mouth but she couldn't deny that they were strikingly beautiful and one of the first things she'd noticed. His scars and his burns weren't even on her radar as she casually studied him whilst his attention was momentarily elsewhere, of course they were noticeable and of course she was curious about them; how had he gotten such severe scarring? Did they bother him? Then she snorted realising what a stupid thought that was - it was Jacob Seed as if anything bothered him.

Her snort caught his attention and his eyes snapped back to her making her look away "somethin' funny?" completely ignoring his question Ava rose to her knees and shuffled until she was at the front of the cage "to answer your previous statement. If you and your freakshow of a family acted like decent human beings none of this would have happened" she spat venomously, her facial expression twisting into something that conveyed hatred. Within an instant Jacob's demeanor changed from one of mild amusement and boredom to that of white hot rage, his hands came up to slam on the bars of the cage as he shot forward making the young woman fall back in fear and shuffle as far back as possible - everyone knew not to slander his family in anyway but apparently Ava didn't get that memo and instantly regretted running her mouth as she saw the sheer anger in his glare and the way his hands gripped the bars hard enough to turn his knuckles white. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was terrified right now but her wide green eyes couldn't look away "don't ever talk ill of my family" his voice despite being low was filled with rage and a fierce protectiveness that almost sounded like a growl, it made a chill run down her spine. If making situations worse by running your mouth was an Olympic event Ava would get gold everytime, it was a talent and right now it was one she wished she never had.

His gaze lingered on her for a few more moments as if contemplating his next move and Ava just prayed to whatever higher power that existed that it didn't involve him opening the cage. Instead Jacob released his grip, stood swiftly from the chair and moved towards two of his Chosen; unable to hear what he was saying Ava closed her eyes and made a mental note not to mention his family again. When she reopened them she noticed Jacob had headed inside the Veterans Centre and the men he'd been talking to heading her way "time to get cleaned up little lady, brother Jacob's orders" cleaned up? Wonderful she thought knowing it wasn't about to be a warm bubble bath waiting for her. When she hadn't moved quickly enough the cage door was wrenched open and a dirty hand grasped her hair making Ava his in pain as he dragged her kicking and screaming across the compound "quite ya flappin' girly, it ain't doin' ya no good" she didn't listen and despite her ankle throbbing she managed to get a lucky hit on the shin of the second man who cursed loudly before regaining his composure and back handing her for the trouble making her head swing back, almost seeing stars from the impact.

Ava was thrown unceremoniously onto the hard floor of a dimly lit concrete room, her hands and knees stinging from taking the brunt of the impact, this made her glance over her shoulder and glare at her two 'knights in shining armour' but they'd already left leaving her to her own devices for the time being. Her mind wondered what their version of 'getting cleaned up' was because judging from the state of them and the smell she had to endure on the way over they hadn't bathed in quite some time; hypocrites.

Ava noticed the medium sized drainage hole in the middle of the room and the large hose pipe hanging neatly on the wall near the door but her muddled mind didn't put two and two together and paid no attention to it, instead she focused on the door and wondered if they'd been stupid enough to leave it unlocked. It couldn't possibly be that easy to get off here, right? As if she'd be able to just open the door and go? Seeing as she was cold, exhausted and hungry Ava didn't think she had much of a choice and even with a bad ankle she could suffer through the pain long enough to get away from this place.

Without hesitation she slowly pushed herself up off the unforgiving floor and hobbled towards the door; her ankle protesting every step she made but she wasn't about to let that stop her when her freedom was so close that she could almost taste it.

A shaky hand reached out towards the handle, her fingers brushing it gently but to her horror it moved and the door began to open making her recoil from the fiery haired brute who had just stepped inside "goin' somewhere, pup?" he asked, his face showed no emotion and neither did his voice which didn't bode well for the brunette now sat on the floor - the momentum of trying to move away quick enough meant she fell ass backwards and her ass had no padding so no doubt that would be yet another bruise for her.

"Strip" came his clipped demand, his gaze fixed and hard on the woman in front of him. His arms were folded across his chest again and Ava wondered if that was a natural stance for him or if it was to stop him from possibly murdering her. Her brows furrowed in confusion at his demand "what?" "you heard me, I said strip" again, his tone was short and clipped but that didn't stop Ava who scoffed and point blank refused. There was no way she was going to strip for him "and if I don't?" she asked raising an eyebrow as if to challenge him which with all things considered was probably pretty stupid on her part but up until this point her life had been a series of stupid events so why not continue?

It was then she realised her mistake and her eyes widened in absolute fear as Jacob stormed across the room and it was in that moment she saw that rage within his eyes from earlier and prayed that whatever death was coming it'd be quick. All of a sudden she found herself pinned to the cold, harsh floor with one of his hands around her throat, his grip hard enough to leave bruises whilst his other hand pinned both her wrist above her - she had nowhere to go because her legs were useless at this point and even they weren't she doubted she'd have enough strength to fend him off long enough to reach the door. His face was now right above hers, his breath hot on her face as she struggled to for air "you'll learn why I'm the best at what I do and you'll either play nice and fall in line remembering that you're nothin' more than meat that's expendable" as if to emphasize his point his grip around her throat became that much tighter that she'd started to squirm beneath him, panic mode had kicked in as her vision became cloudy. She truly thought she was about to die and in the back of her mind she found she was okay with that because that would mean she would finally meet her father. In her current situation she was completely powerless to stop him from choking the life out of her and snapping her neck like a twig but apparently he wasn't feeling that murderous today and released his grip just enough for her to gasp for air " - or you'll be culled, tied up and used as live target practice for my Chosen, so what will it be, princess?"

Ava gasped and spluttered again fighting for air unable to give him a physical answer Ava weakly nodded as much as his grip allowed making a cruel smirk replace the scowl he'd been wearing previously" good girl, you know what to do" within an instant he'd relinquished his grip on both her wrists and her throat and had returned to his previous position. His gaze hardened and cold as watched her pathetically regain her composure.

With no other option but to do as she was told the young brunette cautiously and fearfully began to slip out of her deputy uniform as shaking hands fumbled with zips, buckles and buttons. His never wavering gaze didn't help her much either and not knowing if he would strangle her again also didn't help but soon enough she'd managed to discard her uniform leaving her in nothing but her bra and underwear; surely I can keep these on, right? This made Ava look over towards him and in return he merely nodded making tears spring to her eyes as she tentatively reached for the clasp of her bra at the back to unhook it before letting it drop to the floor. Ava gulped down the feeling of nausea before scrunching her face in pain as she winced - her throat would be sore for a good while and no doubt the bruises he left will last weeks before they fade.

Refusing to let him have the satisfaction of seeing her cry, Ava thumbed the elastic of her underwear before tugging them down over her hips, thighs and legs before discarding them with the rest of her clothes. Every part of her was open to him, she felt extremely vulnerable wished she was anywhere but here. Her earlier bravado had been stripped from her and now she naked and exposed in front of him. A face full of cold, harsh water soon broke her train of thought as the force of the pressure slammed her against the nearest wall making her cry out but this only resulted in more coughing and spluttering from the woman. Not that she could see but she could already tell that her skin had probably turned a nice shade of red if pain was anything to go by.

No matter how hard she tried to cover herself from the onslaught of water it just never made a difference, instead she gave up and pressed herself against the cold wall waiting for it to be over.

After what felt like an eternity the water stopped and she was left sore, drenched and very, very cold if her shivering was anything to go by. It's the type of cold that works its way into your bones and then it's icy tendrils wrap itself around your core and you genuinely wonder if you'll ever feel warmth again. "Get dressed" a flurry of definitely used clothes that consisted of ratty dark jeans and a fade flannel shirt hit her but Ava was that cold she would have worn a garbage bag to get warm at this point so she hurriedly threw them on making a note of just how big they were on her, not that she was about to complain especially if it meant being stripped again.

By now Jacob stood in front of what he could only assume was a drowned rat, her hair now forcefully untangled hung dripping onto the flannel she wore as he grasped her jaw he noticed how she flinched but said nothing, his grip just hard enough to have her attention and possibly leave bruises "when you behave yourself you get privileges like clothes but if you keep running that mouth of yours and misbehaving those privileges get taken away and you'll get punished. I'm sure my men out there would love to see the sight that I just saw and I mean, who knows what would happen if I'm not around" his not so subtle threat was quickly understood; the possibility of getting raped wasn't something she wanted "have I made myself clear?" "y - yes" Jacob quirked an eyebrow and gripped her jaw that little bit harder; more bruises to add to the collection she thought as she painfully cleared her throat "y - yes, sir" her voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk but her answer seemed to satisfy him because relinquished his grip and strode to the door, an arm keeping it open as he glanced at the sorry state of a deputy.

"Time for your trainin', let's go, pup" Ava meekly nodded; too tired and too fearful at this point to put up a fight. Her stomach filled with dread as she made her way towards the door.

It couldn't get any worse, right?

#my stuff #far cry 5 #fc5 #far cry 5 fic #far cry 5 fanfiction #fc5 fanfic #fc5 fanfiction #jacob seed #jacob seed x rook #jacob seed x oc #Oh boy I'm sorry it's so long #I'm on mobile so can't put it under a cut

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 6 years

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Choose me, pt. 3 (G.D.)

Summary: Ethan and Y/N manage to keep their friendship alive as two more months pass by. Y/N hasn’t seen Grayson at all, but will things change when Ethan invites her to a party at their house?

Warning: swearing, angst

Word count: 1470

Choose Me - Masterlist

„You almost got me killed!“ I yell.

„Almost isn't the same as did. You're still alive!“ Ethan exclaimed.

„Only because I'm more skilled than you!“ I remark with a smirk.

„Ouch, that hurt, like, deep down.“ Ethan whines and I stifle a giggle.

„Getting hurt can sometimes be good for your health. You know I just want you to be healthy.“ I tease.

„Always thinking about what's best for me!“ Ethan continues. If I could see him right now, he'd probably be sitting in nothing but his underwear, his face focused on the task before him, his tongue protruding a little. Unfortunately, I couldn't. We meet up three times a week, play Fortnite every day too. It's sort of a way for us to continue our friendship without his brother in it. There was a bunch of loud voices on the other line and Ethan was really quiet.

„You okay?“ I ask, covering his ass, so he doesn't get killed.

„They're fighting.“ Ethan says and I bite my lip.

„Don't.“ I warn him and he sighs.

„Just thought you might want to know it's a daily occurrence.“ Ethan says quickly and I groan.

„I don't want to know. Remember rule number one? We both have it tattooed on us!“ I remind him, rubbing the new tattoo over my waistband.

„Right.“ Ethan sighs again and I roll my eyes.

„I mean it. I don't want to know.“ I repeat.

It's been around two months since I've last seen or spoken to Grayson. I deleted all my social media to make sure I didn't see the two of them. Why go to such extremes as delete everything? Because every page I like is somehow connected to the guys and the content will keep coming at me, chipping away pieces of my soul and I refused to let it get to me.

Life was good for me. I got out more, did some new things. Ethan and I were tighter than ever, the tattoo serves as proof. It was my first tattoo and I was scared as hell, but Ethan held my hand through it all. I was really grateful to have a friend as caring as he was. Sure, it wasn't the same type of friendship like I had with Grayson, but he gave me comfort I needed.

„Okay. Got it.“ He replied.

„Wanna come over this Friday? I'm having a little party“ Ethan asked and I paused the game immediately.

„Are you nuts?!“ I screamed at him and a loud thud, followed by a groan came from his side of the line.

„I think my ears might be bleeding!“ Ethan exclaimed and I snorted.

„Serves you right! You know I'm not coming near your house ever again. Why bother asking?“ I reminded him of a little rant I already made him listen. I never once went there, just in case. I wasn't up for seeing Grayson, it was that simple.

„He won't be there till late. I already checked.“ Ethan reassured, but I didn't like the sound of it.

„I don't want to, E. Also, I kinda have plans with a friend that night.“ I rub my temples to soothe an oncoming headache.

„Bring the friend. I assure you, there will be no G. or the little B.B.“ Ethan chuckled at his own little insult. I'm not proud of it, but I laughed too. Ethan gave her a nickname Bitchy Barbie and refuses to call her by her actual name.

„Promise me.“

„I do.“ He says and I release a shaky sigh. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see the house either, but I really missed it. It's funny, right? Missing four walls and a roof that aren't even yours...the thing is, that house held so many memories and it was like a proof that things between Gray and I were once real.

„I'll come. Only for a little.“ I make it clear, but it doesn't stop his cheering.

By Friday, I already had an outfit prepared. I decided on a mid thigh lacy, skin-tight dress with a pair of heels. I knew this party will be filled with social media stars, so I needed to be fashionable and girly. That wasn't the only reason tho'.

I texted my friend their address and drove to the house. I stopped at their doorstep and inhaled a deep breath. I could hear the music playing, people talking and it made me nervous. I knew he wasn't in there, but I needed my heart to stop beating so loudly and for my brain to quiet down. I was about to knock when Ethan opened the door. In seconds, I was pulled in a big hug.

„You really came“, Ethan spoke, his voice muffled by my hair.

„Told ya I would.“ I giggle.

„Come on!“ Ethan grabs my hand pulling me inside. The music was blaring a Taylor Swift song and I cocked my eyebrow at the music choice.

„You seem taller and woah“ Ethan turned and stopped moving once he saw my outfit choice. His eyes traveled down my body and I felt a little insecure and almost naked before his gaze.

„You dressed up!“ He exclaimed, his eyes still a little wide from the surprise.

„Yes?“ I state, but it sounded more like a question.

„My friend is coming soon, so I'll be somewhere by the door. Get me a drink, please?“ I asked, shouting over the music. Ethan seemed to still be in a haze, but he nodded slowly and walked to the bar. He turned a few times to look at me, like he was making sure this wasn't a hallucination.

„Hey.“ A familiar voice whispered in my ear as an arm wrapped around my waist. I was pulled against his chest and without a second thought I leaned in. Closing my eyes with a smile on my face, we swayed gently to the song.

„Who's he?“ Ethan asked and I opened my eyes.

„This is the friend I was talking about.“ I say and grab his hand, pulling him forward.

„You didn't mention your friend was tall, handsome and had a penis!“ Ethan exclaimed and I covered my face with my hands from embarrassment.

„Harry, please get me a drink..“ I asked nicely, batting my eyelashes.

„Sure.“ Harry pecked my cheek and left.

„Behave.“ I order, pointing my finger at Ethan.

„I knew something was up. You're on a date!“ Ethan whisper shouted, pulling me into a hallway.

„He's a friend!“ I defend.

„You don't dress up like THAT“, he motioned to my entire body,“ for a friend. In fact, I've never seen you in a dress till tonight!“ He pulls at his hair and I laugh at his reaction.

„I prefer comfort over looks. Sue me.“ I remark and he rolls his eyes.

„You never mentioned him before.“ He states and this time I'm the one rolling my eyes.

„He's an old crush from my hometown. I'm just showing him around town.“ I smile coyly and shrug innocently.

„You don't fool me. You two are involved.“ Ethan presses and I smirk.

„You got me!“ I admit raising my hands in mock surrender. Ethan shakes his head, running a hand through his hair.

„If you like him...I won't stand in your way. Just..I don't really trust him.“ He looks to the floor and once again, I'm reminded of how sweet this seemingly rough boy can be.

„Thanks. I should go out, he's probably looking for me.“ I point out, peering over him to see the crowd.

We walked back, and Harry practically ran to meet me.

„I got worried.“ He hugged me and I smiled.

„Sorry. Best friends emergency.“ I say pointing at Ethan.

„Good thing I'm not the jealous type.“ Harry teases, his hand traveling from my neck, down my spine, stopping at the small of my back. He pulls me closer and I find myself pressed up against him, his other hand lifting my chin. I could feel his minty breath, his lips only inches away and I wanted to kiss him. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch and in a moment the world around us didn't matter anymore. The kiss was gentle and sweet. It didn't set off fireworks or made thunder rumble in my chest, but I enjoyed the feeling of his warm lips on mine.

„Wow.“ He said and I put my hand on his chest. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his breathing fast and heavy.

„Oh, look at what we have here. Little Y/N crawled back to beg for forgiveness?“ I heard that shrill voice and I froze. What was she doing here? Ethan said Grayson wasn't here! Why was she?

I turned and gave a sweet smile that soon faded away once I saw Grayson standing behind her.

#grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan angst #dolan twins #grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins fanfic

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midwestmontessori · 5 years

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Montessori Gift Ideas for 2018

There are dozens of Montessori gift guides out there in blogland, so if you’re finding yourself here, I’m sure I’m not your first stop. After all even I have my own gift idea lists from the past several years (2015, 2016, 2017). I’ve also made an ultimate gift-guide for 1-year-olds, a list of newborn essentials, and recommendations for puzzles and fine motor toys for infants up to 3-year-olds.

Not everything is going to resonate with every person. Children are different, families are different, so I know this won’t be the end-all list for any of you. Gather inspiration, take what is helpful, leave the rest.

When starting this year’s gift list I thought, “What new do I have to offer you all?” Each year my children get older they have new developmental needs and new interests, so it isn’t terribly difficult to come up with a few ideas to share. However, this year, I’d love to offer not only some material gift suggestions, but also some gift-giving fundamentals that have helped guide our family for the past few years.

Ever heard of the 4 gift Christmas rule? It goes like this: “Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.” We haven’t adopted this, but the idea inspired our own gift “template” as I’ll call it.

Here’s how it goes.

“Big” gift

Smaller gifts (~2 to 4 gifts)

A game for the family

Books, typically 1 each and then 1 for both

Music - CDs, 1 each

Socking stuffers

But before I begin, I want to say that first and foremost, we don’t have our children make wish lists.

Since the very beginning, we have reject the notion that children should create their own expectation of what their Christmas gifts should be. We know that eventually they will grow to have expectations and wishes, which we will acknowledge.

Additionally, we don’t take our kids shopping at toys stores or take toy catalogs. We stay away from commercial advertising. Our children don’t watch television other than Mr. Rogers and Mighty Machines so they not only don’t see advertisements, nor do they have the character consumerism influence. Of course we aren’t impervious to consumer culture. Our children still see things in public and the toys their friends and grandparents have. They can recognize Disney princesses and super heroes. We just choose to not let it be a part of our family culture at their ages (3 and 5).

So instead of having our children come up with a list of what the expect, we take what we know about them and what we have observed and choose gifts based on that. This is what parents have to do for infants and young toddlers, we just choose to hold onto that for as long as we can.

I curate the gifts we plan to give our children as well as an Amazon wishlist which is meant to offer suggestions and ideas, not expectations, of gifts for our families. Our families know us pretty well and have been excellent at respecting some of our family’s pickiness when it comes to the toys that come into our home. For example, we don’t do electronic toys, commercial characters/brands, etc. at this age.

The “big” gift.

This is something we plan for each of them not based on dollar amount, but on emphasis or magnitude. This is where a doll, pair of roller skates, bike, etc. (for example) come into play. This is the gift that they’ll be most excited about. We pay attention not to give them multiple items that could constitute a “big gift.” We feel that if they receive 2 or more gifts great in magnitude, they begin to expect grandness and things lose their appeal.

The beauty of going by magnitude instead of dollar amount is that you set the expectation of what constitutes a big gift from a young age, that is, you determine the magnitude. Giving less means each gift means more. A set of spinning tops can be a gift that is front and center, or if they are mixed in with 15 other things they could be the footnote.

We also often like to build them something to use together. This is sometimes something of greater magnitude but also more practical that we have planned to make them anyway. Christmas just ends up being a decent time to give it to them. It isn’t something we do every year. In the past we have done a table and chairs and gross motor items. These kinds of things I think of as part of their prepared environment. They certainly constitute a gift, but we do get them other gifts.

This year we decided to build the woodworking bench we have been planning to make for them for a while. The one pictured below is from the Lord Company and is sold on their website as well as Montessori Services, who also sells lots of great hand-picked child-sized tools. The bench from Lord is very expensive - made for schools so it is very high quality, probably more than one would need at home. We plan to build our own for much less, though we will use this photo as somewhat of a guide.

Our kids already have quite a few tools but we will fill in with a few that we don’t. Among those are a hammer, saw, vise, level, safety glasses, hand drill, tape measure, sanding block, work gloves, and containers for nails, screws, drill bits, and other hardware.

Individually we plan to get Charlotte a doll, and Simon a larger vehicle.

Charlotte has enjoyed playing with dolls like this at her grandparent’s homes and also is getting to an age where she is outgrowing quite a bit of the younger open-ended toys we have. She has been exposed to American Girl dolls as well as Barbies (not something I will be offering in our home). I decided on a WellieWishers doll (Willa) from American Girl. It is a smaller doll than the 18″ AG dolls. The books are very sweet: a group of friends who spend a lot of time in nature and work through typical friendship scenarios. The books are simple chapter books - something she will be able to catch onto reading herself in the next year or two - with lovely, simple illustrations. They also have a TV show on Amazon Prime that I have begun watching with her. They are short 10-minute episodes that are essentially short stories similar to those told in the books. The animation is simple and mimics the illustrations from the books.

I went back and forth about whether to begin such a “grown-up” girly thing to be involved in, I ultimately decided that she will very much enjoy and identify with these characters. She is learning to navigate friendships and could benefit from some problem-solving examples, acting things out, etc. Plus she will be able to relate with the other girls who have dolls, though hers may not be the same kind as theirs. I am pleased with my choice and I feel as though if nothing else it is benign and won’t be anything harmful. We won’t be subscribing to the catalog and we won’t be buying many accessories. We plan to keep it simple.

We decided on a Bruder semi-truck with flatbed trailer and backhoe for Simon. He loves vehicles and plays with his larger ones more often, so we decided something like this would be something he would enjoy. We opted for something high quality because we know it will get a ton of use and also because Bruder seems to have the most true-to-life vehicles out there.

Smaller gifts

Aside from the main gift, we also get them a few smaller gifts. They are often accessories for the main gift, or just little things. This is also where we categorize clothing. We choose 2 or 3 items from this list to give them and the rest we put on their Amazon wishlist to send to grandparents and aunts and uncles.

This category is also where sibling gifts come in. They each get each other one small gift, which, up to this point I have had a strong hand in deciding what that gift is. Starting this year I’d like to give them more of a choice, though I won’t be taking them into a toy store to choose just anything. We will talk about what their sibling would like and come up with an idea before we shop.

Below are some ideas based on things our own children are enjoying now and a few choices we have made for their gifts this year.

Umbrella

AG WellieWisher doll accessories: pajama set, outdoor adventure set, & doll stand; We also included a couple other outfits on Charlotte’s wishlist for family members to get for her if they choose. We aren’t going to be getting any more of the AG accessories than this little adventure set. At some point we may build a bed or make a quilt, but we won’t be going crazy with the accessories.

Paper embroidery kit

Denim woodworking aprons

Classic Lego set - We love these sets with miscellaneous parts and a few building ideas but no specific theme or agenda

Tractor set

Hammer

Broom

Discovery window boxes

Pentatonic-diatonic glockenspiel - removable bars; I strongly recommend looking up the benefits of using a pentatonic xylophone - it is so beneficial

12-piece puzzle set

Alphabet puzzle

Silk playscape (giant playsilk) - used to make tents, etc.

Books & Music

We have a book tradition at Christmas which I share every year. Basically, instead of putting their books (1 each and 1 to share) under the tree where they may be overshadowed by other presents, we wrap them up and slide them under their doors after they are asleep. When they wake up they see them and can open right away. My husband and I hear them when they wake but we have a moment to get ourselves together before we join them, when we get to spend a few minutes together as a family reading before we get into opening presents. I cherish that time with them on Christmas morning. They are SO excited to get their book and I love to see their joy from something so simple and meaningful, that is reading.

We also value music and so we get them each a CD each year. We do CDs as they are tangible and give that physical representation of the music. Though it is still fairly abstract it is much less so than digital music. They do still listen to music from our phones or on the radio but we like to have some way of tangibly representing the concept of musicians creating albums.

Below are some of our current favorites as well as some on our wishlist. We get them each a book and one to share and the rest go on their Amazon wishlist.

Mog the Forgetful Cat by Judith Kerr

Abbey Road by The Beatles

The Story Orchestra by Jessica Courtney-Tickle

Strong Girls gift set (Ordinary People Change the World) by Brad Meltzer

My Big Wimmelbook - At the Construction Site by Max Walther

Slinky Malinky by Lynley Dodd

The Riddle of the Robin by Valerie Tripp - WellieWishers American Girl book

Natural History (Smithsonian) by DK Publishing

Rosie Revere Engineer by Andrea Beaty (also Iggy Peck Architect and Ada Twist Scientist and the new Questioneers chapter books)

My Basketball Book by Gail Gibbons, see also baseball, football, soccer in the same series

Poem for Every Day of the Year by Esiri Ali (I may give this book on NYE)

100 Classic Stories by Rosalind McGuire

The Dinosaur Book (Smithsonian) by DK Publishing

The Beach Boys Greatest Hits

Awesome Science Experiments for Kids by Crystal Chatterton

Maria Montessori (Little People Big Dreams) by Isabel Sanchez Vegara

Spinning Spiders by Melvin Berger - I love the Read & Learn About series

Flicka Ricka & Dicka and the Three Kittens by Maj Lindman

The Red Letter Alphabet Book and The Blue Number Counting Book by Ellen C. Gould

10 More Ten-Minute Stories from Usborne

Games

Every year we get a game for our family to play together. Often I will do one board game and then a smaller card game. This year we are doing Operation and Slamwich. The others are some of our favorites.

Last year we started the family tradition of celebrating the New Year on New Year’s Eve with a new family game, party decorations and music, sparkling grape juice for the kids, and champagne for us. It was such a fun little party. I am still deciding on a game for that. Send me your ideas!

Shopping List - our all-time favorite first memory game

Rhyming cards - We use these like a memory game

Kerplunk - take turns pulling out the sticks without letting marbles drop

Flower Families - a variation of Go Fish

Zitternix by HABA - take turns drawing as many sticks as you can before it falls

Creature Matching Game

Sonix Music - a musical instrument sound matching game

Go Togethers - We use these cards like a memory or matching game

Orchard by HABA - This is similar to Hi Ho Cherry-O though it is made of very high quality materials and is just beautiful. There are four types of fruit to pick, all before the raven gets them first. There is a version for younger children as well. We have both and love them equally.

Outfoxed - finding clues, identifying suspects, remembering details, taking turns, rolling die - such a fun game

Uno - classic card game, requires number and color recognition/matching

Candyland - also requires color matching

Aggravation - marble race game, requires counting traditional 6-sided dice

First Words Magnetic Poetry - not technically a game but these word magnets are fun to play with words on the refrigerator

Animal Soundtracks - matching animal sounds

Operation - lots of dexterity and pincer grip practice

Slamwich - a child-friendly version of Egyptian Ratslap or Slapjack; take turns playing cards and thus creating a stack of sandwich toppings; slap doubles to collect as many cards as possible

Stocking Stuffers

Finally, we fill their stockings with a few small things. They fill up fast so they don’t need much.

Walkie talkies

Toe socks

Earrings

Safety glasses

Work gloves

Hat & mittens from Primary.com

WellieWishers socks (the socks look like the boots of each of the WellieWisher girls in the books)

Fort clips (to be used with the silk playscape above)

Christmas ornament (not pictured)

There you have it! Our Christmas gifting in a nutshell. I hope this was helpful. Happy shopping. :)

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