#i think i miss being his friend and i care about him a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonstruckme · 1 day

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if your not taking requests feel free to ignore me

could u do camp counselor james! where he and reader reunite next summer at the start of a new camp session?

I am lovely, don't worry! Thank you for requesting :)

camp counselor!James x fem!reader ♡ 884 words

It’s early May, and the sun is still pleasant. After last year, you know to relish the first few cool nights in the cabin, before the summer heat sets in and you become dependent on tiny handheld fans and those popsicles from the canteen. For now you’re enjoying it, the wooden boards of the dock warm under your thighs and your head tilted up to the sun as your toes kiss the cool water.

The air smells like pine and fresh water. In a few days, all you’ll be able to hear are kids screaming exuberantly, splashing around in the water and small feet pounding on the dirt, but now it’s just the sloshing of the waves against the shore, the steady thunk of the canoe someone’s already gotten out hitting the dock. It’s peaceful. Meditative. And maybe it’s because you’re so focussed on that that you don’t hear James’ car pull into the gravel parking lot, or his friends bickering about who has to carry what inside, or really much of anything until there’s a set of footsteps approaching from behind you, and you turn around.

“James!” You’re every inch the girlfriend in a movie, embarrassingly so, but you’re too excited to second-guess yourself as you get your feet under you and run to meet him.

“Hey,” James laughs, stopping a second before you do to brace for impact. He grabs you under your legs and hoists them up around his waist, grinning hugely as he pecks you on the lips. “Hey, careful, no bare feet on the grass, remember?”

You roll your eyes. You’re not supposed to let the kids run around without their shoes in case there’s some broken glass or something, but there never is. “You just wanted to pick me up,” you say.

James’ smile widens. “Yeah, you got me.”

You wrap your arms around his neck as he crushes you to his front, both of you gripping the other like you’re expecting to be torn apart. He can’t have been here more than half an hour, but James already smells like camp, sunscreen and something woodsy mingling with the smell of his shampoo.

“I missed you,” you admit, turning your lips into the side of his head.

James hugs you impossibly tighter. “I’m so glad you get it, angel. I was telling Sirius about how much I missed you on the way here, and he was being very unsympathetic about it. Deeply coldhearted, really—”

“Fuck off,” says Sirius, and you look over James’ shoulder to see him and Remus approaching. “You saw each other last weekend!”

“God, don’t remind me!” James lets you go just enough to smush his lips to yours. “Far too long. Cruel, unusual treatment.”

Sirius humphs. “And yet you were apart from us for three months last summer, and I didn’t hear nearly so much of bereavement.”

You smile and pat your boyfriend’s shoulder, a silent request for him to put you down.

“Trust me,” you say, going over to hug Sirius, “the rest of us did. He was waxing poetic about you all summer. I think the kids were a bit worried.”

“Yes, well.” Sirius cracks, grinning as he kisses you on the cheek. “As he should.”

“Hi, lovely.” Remus looks thoroughly worn out from the long drive—or more likely, from his friends’ bickering the whole way—but he scrubs a fond hand up and down your back as you squeeze him around the middle.

“I can’t believe you guys are here,” you say, beaming as you peel away from him. James immediately pulls you back against his front, his arms twined loosely around your waist.

“We couldn’t very well leave him to wax poetic all summer again.” Remus smiles, and Sirius nods fervently.

“You should have seen him, babe,” he says. “He was having a proper crisis over it. Now I’ve got to spend my whole summer doing charity work just to keep him from being torn apart.”

“They do pay us,” James reminds him.

Sirius waves him off. “For those wages? It’s charity work.”

You lean your head back on James’ shoulder, sinking into his hold. You do have some inkling of the crisis Sirius is talking about; when your boss at camp had called him a couple of months ago and he’d been faced with either not seeing you for the three months you’d be here or going with you and not seeing his friends like he did last year, he’d put her off for weeks before deciding. In the end, Remus hadn’t been difficult at all to convince. He’s always wanted to work with kids, but James had to pitch the idea of being an art instructor to Sirius relentlessly before he’d finally agreed.

You loved getting to know James last summer, and getting to see him in his element when you went to visit him on weekends throughout the year, but you suspect that now, with all his favorite people in one place for the entire summer, you’ll get to witness the happiest version of him you’ve seen yet.

“The kids don’t get here until Thursday,” you say. “Want to see if we can have a bonfire tonight?”

James chuckles. He leans over your shoulder to kiss your cheek, his smile unmissable against your skin. “Those are always fun.”

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azullumi · 8 hours

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"it's you hiding in limelight" ; aventurine

requested by anon — “can you do or already done pre-relationship aventurine headcanons? like what is he like before and how he warms up” premise — it takes a lot for him to trust someone. it’s a gentle and steady process; the fire burns slowly between you and him, and despite the uncertainty whether the flame is going to burn out or consume him in the end, he lets the warmth seep through the cracks of his soul. content tags and warnings — pairing: gender-neutral reader w/ aventurine | pre-relationship, fluff, a little word vomit, not proofread | wc: 0.7k ; headcanons

note from me — i was so conflicted while writing this,, and it doesn't help that i'm trying to figure out if my cat is pregnant or just fat...

It’s not easy to make AVENTURINE warm up.

He doesn’t trust anyone easily, seeing relationships as superficial, as something that is simply a give-and-take thing, a bet, a deal. He has quite a one-way view on relationships, only seeing it as something that would be beneficial to him—it’s not like he knows how to maintain such relationships either. He thinks that showering them with gifts, no matter how expensive, would make them stay, a key to securing loyalty and affection.

So when he finds himself slowly being drawn to you, being at ease whenever you’re around, as he initiates small talks and silly bets, he wouldn’t know how to break it down from there. You’re just so warm and easy to talk to, it’s comforting (like a gentle breeze). He simply keeps everyone at arm’s length, maintaining a careful distance, and yet, like a living paradox, he can feel intimately close at times to you—it’s his subtle flirting, consistent compliments, and often lingering touches.

He is hesitant in all of his bones, hard to grasp, complex and distant, but if you reach even for a little, he’ll let you hold him in your hands. He’s confusing; the thread of his words and actions are intertwined with each other but you can never find the meaning of it. It’s a heavy needlepoint of embroidery that can never be finished, a small part missing from the piece and you could never figure out what it is that you’re lacking. It’s not easy to tell if he sees you only as a friend or something more than that.

You need to be patient and persistent with him, understanding that he himself struggles with the idea of vulnerability; he fears that opening up to pain and disappointment, leaving him on his own in the end. However, over time, he eventually lowers his guard and allows himself to trust you, finding solace in your presence. When the two of you first met, his shoulders were always tense and he kept his emotions guarded behind a mask, but now, he lets go of what he carries even if it’s just for a bit, as long as it’s you he is with.

You can feel the distance closing in, the fine-drawn line of vulnerability and wariness seaming into one. You can almost touch the vanishing point between you and him, intertwining with each other, and you don’t fail to recognize the subtle shift in his actions, in his gestures, in everything about him and all that you knew.

It may be a small and mundane thing but his tendency to shower his “friends” with expensive gifts and asking to choose among which one that they would like—albeit he also does to you on some occasions—all contrasts with the simplicity of the tokens he gives you. He reserves a different kind of gesture for you, one that is laced with thoughtfulness and sincerity rather than the utter value of the gift itself.

Probably brought a bracelet one time and told you of it, but didn’t mention that it has a pair, a matching one, which he bought for himself (and never wore). He has it hidden in his drawers, amidst his precious items, only to take out from time to time to stare at it. It’s a secret he’ll forever take to his grave.

Your constant reassurance, gentleness, and kindness breaks down his defenses, the mask crumbling into unrecognizable pieces. He didn’t think he would trust someone this much, nor would he ever harbor such soft feelings—velveted affections, sweet sounds of laughter, benign words that buries itself in his chest, finding solitude in one another’s presence, basking in the warmth of it all.

Oh, to have someone see him beyond the walls he built, it scares him in some way—when you have forever listened to the chorus of condemns orchestrated by your mind, you’ll only think that you’re unlovable to anyone, that’s how it was for him, and yet to you, it comes easy as if he’s simply tangled threads that only needs to be unraveled carefully and gently. He didn’t know nor did he ever think that you'd see stars on his scars when he laid himself bare for you to see the marks that dusted his skin.

Aventurine feels like he could drown in the feeling. It’s a gentle tide that crawls to the shore and drags him along with the warm currents (the smell of blood is replaced with the taste of salt on his lips); a tender fire that burns slowly, and despite the uncertainty whether the flame is going to burn out or consume him, he’ll let the light in.

GRAH DRUM ROLLS PLEASE IM ANNOUNCING THE PRESENCE OF THE OUTSTANDING AND AMAZING FELI @dr-felitas (sometimes i type in your old user and wonder why it's not popping out and then i just go oh!) anyways, this is for you my fellow dry-talker npc,, i honestly find it cute that we're starting to adopt each other's mannerisms or texting language or pattern cause like i only started saying "right!?" (when i agree on something) because of you (back then i only say real or just nothing at all :D) and i think i began to use some of your vocabulary 😭. and somehow my ability to understand and read through typos are getting better all thanks to you 🔥🔥🔥 the world will end first before you even get to spell that word properly jkjk i love you with all of your typos, incoherent words, stupid autocorrect mwamwamwa (i say as if im im not the same) !! anyways you are a light in my life and you're one of the reasons why i still continue to pick up the pen and write !! you've been of great help and inspiration in my writings <33 without you, i probably wouldn't be able to get through the hell hole of last month, thank you. ily lots mwaa !!

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writteninlunarlight-years · 2 days

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Busy days give cute ideas-

Since the Hotel was rebuilt, Lucifer has stepped up and has started doing Kingly things again. Talking to the Sins- helping them sort out arguments basically- but also helping Charlie brainstorm ideas for bringing in Sinners and activities.

He forgot how busy being a King made him-

Then Reader, a Sinner that came after the Extermination because they saw the King Himself saying to try redemption -plus free room!- grabs him one day without warning, and throws him into bed. Just full on waits on his every need, watches a movie he hasn't seen before but does like, makes lunch and dinner for him, plays card games-

They do everything Lucifer has been seen enjoying. And Reader remembered? He barely spoke to them, but here they are. Being kind to him.

Basically a full day of reasons why he deserves a break, Lilith wasn't anywhere near as caring as he falsely remembered, and that he REALLY needs to get to know Reader now-

Lazy Dayz in a Dreamy Haze

Busy Lucifer x GN!Reader

TW: Overworking, relationship issues, sad feelings

(I am almost positive I made this completely gender ambiguous. Please tell me if I missed something or gendered the reader at all!)

Your fall from grace wasn't anything to really write home about. You were a grade-A lazy person in your mortal life, and that inevitably led to your less-than-amazing death. You could sleep wherever and whenever, find the best binge-worthy shows, and overall, you know how to relax for a good time.

You were a little confused when you saw Charlie's original broadcast for the hotel. How could you ever be redeemed when your sin is just simply enjoying your free time? This seemed like too high a task for a mere princess to accomplish, not to mention that once word got out that the Radio Demon was helping her, it was even more of a put-off.

You followed the story, though; Kattie Killjoy documented it every time something happened in Charlie's unsuspecting life. You also were one of the lucky few to witness the downfall of Vox’s pride due to the Radio Demon.

When the extermination got pushed up to only a couple of days away, you had even more doubts about this redemption policy the princess wanted. When the broadcast showed Lucifer there, ready to strike down, the angels soon to torment more than just the hotel if they didn’t win; something moved in you.

The following day, you packed up your small things and made your way across the city to the hotel. You didn't expect much when you joined the Hazbin Hotel. You saw that the king endorsed it, and if the king said it was cool, then why not? You didn’t reasonably expect your whole life to change, though.

Not only did you gain a little family of friends, but you also got free room and board so long as you completed Charlie's exercises and you got to see him. Lucifer Morningstar was a pragmatic character in the grand scheme of things. Where his daughter had illusions of grandeur, he was there to make things happen and make things work. Doing this, however, cost him what looked like a great deal.

Lucfier worked day in and day out. Even though you lived in the same hotel as him, you hardly saw him not doing something for Charlie or one of the other inhabitants. Seeing someone doing so much to make a dream come true and not take care of his own was sad. Maybe this was when the first inklings of your feelings for the king kicked in.

Growing close to the others in the hotel, you eventually learn all about Lucifer's problems in his past, from harboring poor feelings towards his fellow angels to having to deal with losing Lilith and his daughter. Luckily, he and Charlie rekindled some of their relationship, but it was clear Lucifer worked himself to death to avoid thinking about the missing person. Lilith, though a once prominent figure in hell, was still not found, causing a lot of people, including Charlie, to assume she just never was going to come back.

You got confirmation about Lucifer's depression one rainy night sitting at the bar. You were busy talking to Husk about Charlie's upcoming bonding retreat when a groggy Lucifer came down to get a drink. While he sat next to you, the bags and lines around his face were as clear as day. For an immortal being, he looked like he was knocking on death's door. He had been working long into the night to ensure Charlie’s next adventure went on without a hitch.

You had nothing against Charlie and immensely enjoyed her company. You can only assume Charlie hadn’t given her father a break because he was never this vulnerable around her. You knew Husk had a way to get people to open up, but you were surprised he was opening up in front of you. He looked exhausted, as if sleep had invaded him for nights. You wanted to hug him, wrap him in blankets, and tell him to sleep.

While looking over the man, you noticed a band of gold on his hand that he awkwardly fidgeted with. Taking the context clues and knowledge from those in the hotel, you'd bet that was his wedding band. While watching him drink his fourth glass of whiskey for the night, you leaned over and placed a comforting hand on his. “I know you don’t know me well, but Lucifer, you are doing an amazing job. It’s okay to stop and breathe a little. You won’t be letting anyone down if it’s to help yourself.”

His look was no less than shocked; from what you gathered, no one ever really talked to him in a comforting manner. “Uh, well, thank you, Y/N; you know I am happy you joined the hotel. You will be an excellent Winner if we can ever redeem a soul.”

That statement struck a cord in you again. Why did he know that you would make a good Winner? He had barely even met you when you joined the hotel. He was always so busy and working that the most you two said to each other on a given day was a small hello. Yet he knew enough about you to tell you would make a great Winner. You didn’t know that Lucifer was paying attention from the beginning of your journey at the hotel. He always said his job was to help make dreams come true, especially his daughters. So when you came along and started helping everyone with your calming aura and comforting ideas, he took extra notice of you. That's why he knew all your favorite napping spots, how you put self-care and rest above everything, and how you wanted to help others as much as he did.

From that day forth, you looked at the King of Hell differently. Instead of wondering why he was so busy and never saying no, you looked for all the times he grabbed that band. In doing this, you learned he liked to make rubber ducks, enjoyed the circus, had a fixation on apples, loved to sing randomly, and had a knack for helping others.

Honestly, the last part wasn’t that surprising. Charlie had to have gotten that trait somewhere. With Liltih being AWOL and the stories you heard in passing about the woman, you figured she wasn’t where Charlie's helping streak necessarily originated from. Taking this knowledge, you devise a plan to help the King of Hell finally get some reprieve.

Executing this plan flawlessly took a couple of days. From finding all the proper materials to convincing Charlie to make sure no one called on Lucifer, you had your work cut out for you. You didn’t know why you cared so much about what happened to Lucifer other than it tugged at your once-beating heart that he was so overworked and undervalued.

The day finally came for you to stop the overworked man and get him to slow down. As he started his day bright and early, you were already downstairs waiting. His arrival was right on time, and everyone knew that when he asked the dreaded ‘what can I do for everyone today’ question, they all had to say nothing.

When he heard he had nothing to do, Lucifer returned to playing with that ring on his finger. This was your cue to help him find a better way to distract himself than taking on millions of small tasks. You stood before Lucifer, hand outstretched with a broad smile, “Do you trust me?”

You were met with little hesitance, and before you knew it, you had taken Lucfier up to the day room on the top floor. You had set everything up for the first half of your relaxation day. There was a giant pillow fort taking up center stage of the room.

Lucifer was taken aback. This was the sweetest thing anyone had done for him. It is a little cozy retreat away from having to work, a welcomed distraction. He was excited to see what your mind came up with. The whole interaction left a warm feeling in his chest, one he didn’t know if he was ready to explore yet.

Crawling in, you beckoned Lucfier to join you inside and get cozy. The magnificent fort was littered with various comfort foods, cozy blankets, and a TV with what Charlie called his favorite shows. Turning on the fairy lights and TV, you immediately saw the tension in his shoulders begin to relax.

You two stayed there for hours, watching shows, eating good food, and talking. Lucifer didn’t know when the last time he allowed himself to be this free with another person. You were content making sure he understood how valued he was, but you couldn’t deny the proximity, and the ease of the conversation was beginning to make you feel some type of way.

When the final movie was put on the TV, you let out a slight yawn. You had never disrupted your sleep schedule and nap time for someone else before, and your body was beginning to disagree with you. Lucifer took note of this and scooted a little closer to you. When you looked up at him, he just patted his shoulder, and you understood he was offering assistance to you.

You laughed gently in your hand, shaking your head. “No, mister. I am supposed to be helping you, not the other way around. Come here.”

As you said this, you repositioned the situation, so Lucifer rested against your chest. Your arms were wrapped around him, and you were gently playing with his hair. Lucifer hadn't complained about this, so you deemed it safe to continue. His hair was soft, with a little gel from when he woke this morning. Eventually, your hand stopped moving as you drifted off to sleep.

Lucifer was content like this. He hadn’t been held in so long. This was something he only dreamed of doing with Lilith once more. He thought about all these things and felt your hands slow and your breathing even.

Lifting his head slightly to look at you and not wake you, he realized you were lovely. The thought initially scared him as he hadn’t thought of another since Lilith, but your compassion and kindness were a refreshment. Slowly, he rested his head back on your chest and took a much-needed nap.

You had woken first, feeling Lucifer tighten his grip subconsciously around you. Smiling, you stroked his hair again as you pulled out your phone. There was still an hour before the final stage of relaxation day could continue. You closed your phone and realigned your attention to Lucifer.

He looked so beautiful, almost angelic if you were allowed to say that. He let out tiny snores, and you could nearly not see the bags under his eyes. You gently caressed his cheek without thinking, and when he nuzzled your hand, your face lit up. You told yourself he wasn’t ready and to diminish these feelings immediately.

Once the hour was up, you gently woke Lucifer with a light shake. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, looking at the now-darkened TV. Once he was situated, he got out of the fort with you, ready for you to lead him on the next adventure.

You strategically chose the top floor for the fort retreat so everyone else could set up downstairs. See, your plan helped kill two birds with one stone. Charlie wanted a fun way to bring in more sinners, and you wanted to help take the stress off Lucifer's plate. In doing so, the Hazbin Hotel Annual Carnival was born.

As you arrived downstairs, the carnival was in full swing. Flashing lights, games, food, and even a circus event were happening. You turned to look at Lucfier and shouted, ‘Surprise!’ He was astonished that you not only considered giving him a brain break but also made sure to add something physically fun.

This was particularly useful in two ways: he loved the circus and would be tired when he went to bed if he got worn out at the carnival. You showed him around the carnival with a broad smile on your face. All the regular inhabitants of the hotel were the carnies and some outside friends Alstor enlisted.

As soon as you explained everything, Lucifer had your hand in his and dragged you around. Though you were still exhausted, seeing this man so happy was well worth it. You participated in the games and the face painting. Lucifer laughed hard when he saw you get his Iconic makeup done.

As you made it to one of the last games, you found Angel managing the Apple Bobbing contest. With a broad smile, you drug Lucifer over and place your bets on who could get the largest apple. You hoped the newly painted makeup would withstand this trial as you went first. Coming back up with a tiny apple, Angel had to make one of his inappropriate jokes.

Next, the king himself went for an apple, not before blushing at the lewd comment Angel had made about you. He really needed to teach him that it's okay to keep thoughts inside. As he went down for an apple, he found a golden one and took his chance. Popping his head up, Angel rang a bell, signifying the grand prize.

Lucifer was handed a giant white snake plushie with a top hat as his winnings. He smiled, holding the cute item, and then turned to you. Gently, he wrapped the snake around your arm and shoulders, smiling wide. Your heart fluttered at the notion that he had given you his grand prize, no questions asked.

Over the loudspeakers, an excited Charlie could be heard asking everyone to come to the big top for the show. Lucifer was excited that his daughter, as a ringmaster, would entertain all these guests. As you two took your seats in the crowded room, the lights dimmed, and Charlie, in an adorable outfit almost identical to her father's, came out.

The smile on Lucifer's face when he saw Charlie look and act like him was heartwarming. You could almost see tears in his eyes. Lucifer was notably the most involved watcher of the show, answering questions, raising his hand for volunteer options, and even performing a song with Charlie. It was a fantastic event that left many impressed.

As the circus act ended, Charlie approached you and thanked you for taking over this task. She had already gotten many people asking to enroll in her redemption program. While Charlie was talking to you, it was missed by all the knowing soft smile Lucifer had while staring at you. He realized that he hadn’t gone to rub his band once this entire day since you showed up.

Looking down at his hand, he moved the band from his left finger to his right. He wasn’t fully ready to let go of Lilith, at least not in the semblance of her being the mother of his child, but he was ready not to let his past hold him back anymore. He walked over to you and Charlie and gently interrupted the conversation, asking to steal you away.

Charlie said yes, giving you a big thumbs up before she went on her own way, too. You gave Lucifer your full attention again as he led you to the Farris Wheel. Climbing aboard, you two faced each other and began talking like earlier that day. The conversation seemed so fluid for you two, making this a beautiful moment.

Once at the top of the wheel, there was a sudden jolt, causing you to move forward and land in Lucifer's lap. Both of you laughed gently as you resituated back in your seat. In doing so, however, you noticed his left hand was bare. You panicked, “Where did your ring go? Did it fall when I moved? We have to look for it.”

Lucifer just laughed at you and shook his head. He showed you his right hand now adorning his wedding band. You calmed down and looked at Lucifer as he explained, “I have never been so well taken care of, Y/N. To say I appreciate you would be an understatement. For seven years of my life, I have lived in this dark shadow that I was at fault for losing all I held dear. Though Charlie has been there trying to help, I still drown myself in work to forget Lilith.”

Lucfier repositioned to sit closer to you, looking you in the eyes, “However, you have impacted my life since the day you arrived. I have been watching you and find your efforts to comfort and help those around you refreshing. I find it so amazing you even took time out for me to plan all of this.”

Lucifer gently touched your cheek as he continued, “I have loved every minute of this day, and as I began to love it more and more, I realized I couldn’t let Lilith control my life forever, especially if she wasn’t here. I am not ready to completely let go; she is the mother of my child, and I hope she is alive and well. I am saying, though, that I am ready to move on and try to live more carefree again. You, Y/N, have been a dream come true.”

Tears welled up in both your eyes as you took in the words. You smiled and reached your hand out to hold his. Hand in hand, you two laughed and looked over all of hell from the top of the wheel. You were happy he finally accepted being free from his past and taking self-care and love for himself seriously. It was also astonishing that you were the one to teach him this.

As the Farris Wheel ended and let you two off, the darkest point of the night finally hit. Grouping up at the front of the hotel, Lucifer's arms wrapped around you. A beautiful array of fireworks went off while you looked up to the sky. Turning to face Lucifer, you felt like you were living a dream. Who knew Lazy Days would result in a beautiful Dreamy Haze.

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novacorpsrecruit · 2 days

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Hi a quick lil read: I did a poll the other day because I was thinking of creating Steddie fic recs and so I decided I’m gonna do 5-10 fic recs a post based on some sort of theme and here’s the first installment! Please feel free to ask for themes, I can’t promise I’ll fulfill them but I’ll do my best.

Theme: my favorite fucking idiots

single / taken / pining by 96tears (Ao3) @pizzaqueen (tumblr)

T | wc 4,435 | no cw

Summary: When a girl Steve’s trying to flirt with starts flirting with Eddie, Steve says the only thing that comes to mind: he tells her Eddie’s married. It’s not his smoothest moment, but it works, and Eddie goes along with it. It's not like Eddie was interested, anyway, and he figures Steve wanted the ladies to himself. So, Steve figures that must be it, too.

But a little later it hits him: he doesn’t want to keep the ladies to himself. He wants to keep Eddie to himself.

Ugh!!! I love it when the dumbasses don’t understand why they’re jealous, or that they’re jealous in the first place. Post season 4, Steve and Eddie work at Family Video and the Arcade respectfully, and come and bug each other during slow times. Steve gets a little jealous when a girl starts hitting on Eddie.

‘cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run by stellapoint (pettifogger) (ao3) @heybluechild (tumblr)

T | wc 9,308 | no cw

Summary: Realization #1: Steve is wearing a costume. He’s dressed as Springsteen on the cover of Born In The U.S.A. The album cover is staring at Eddie from the stack of records by the speakers, and he flicks his eyes between the cover and Steve, almost laughing at how obvious the resemblance is.

Immediately after that, revelations two and three slam into him like an eighteen-wheeler.

#2: Bruce Springsteen is kind of hot.

#3: Steve Harrington is really hot.

A fourth and much louder thought echoes through Eddie’s brain: oh, shit.

(Many months ago, I wrote a tumblr post about Steve Harrington being a Bruce Springsteen enjoyer. This fic is about that.)

Takes place after season 4, Eddie and Steve are friend. Eddie’s love language is music. He’s a bit of a music snob, and doesn’t understand why Steve wants him to like his music. It takes a moment for it to click to Eddie what’s really going on. I love Eddie but sometimes you want to shake him like a snowglobe and oh my god, I’m shaking him so hard.

wasted crying by MixAddams (Ao3) @mixsethaddams (tumblr)

T | wc 6,471 | cw ow (light angst)

Summary: Steve just wants a buddy.

So why does it hurt so much when Eddie introduces everyone to his new girlfriend?

There’s a happy ending I swear! You’ll just want to bundle Steve up in a few blankets first. Post season 4, Eddie gets a girlfriend, and Steve is not jealous. Not at all. He just … misses being in the honeymoon phase of dating? No that can’t be right… is it? There’s a lot of good heartaches in this fic. I do want to share one of my favorite lines:

“I think so. Stuff like this is supposed to scare you, I think,” said Eddie. “It’s supposed to feel….”

Eddie took a breath and Steve watched his eyes move around as he searched for the words. Steve thought he might wait forever for him to find them.

“It’s supposed to feel like a leap, right?”

I can be pretty (why don’t you think I’m pretty?) by starsdontsleep (ao3)

T | wc 8,942 | no cw

Summary: When Eddie comes out as gay, he assures Steve that he doesn’t find him hot. Steve tells him it’s fine, he even teasingly asks what he should do to change that. It becomes a thing. A way to always make Eddie laugh, blush and relax around him—but as the days and weeks pass, Steve begins to realise that maybe there’s another reason why he cares so much that Eddie Munson finds him pretty.

Remember when I said I’m shaking Eddie like a snowglobe? I’m shaking Steve now. Steve, please tell me why you think you want Eddie to think you’re pretty? Why do you need to know what Eddie’s type? Steve’s only worried that Eddie doesn’t fully trust him with his sexuality. So Steve works to be the best ally… and definitely does not fall in love with his friend along the way.

clown music at the disco by fragilecapricorn (ao3) @fragilecapric0rnn (tumblr)

M | wc 3,717 | no cw

Summary: “What the fuck are you doing here?” He nearly squawked, meaning for it to come out anyway other than that. The man turned around, and here he was. In a stare down with ghostly pale Steve Harrington, who was not only supposed to be straight, but was also in a MESH TANK TOP at Frankie’s on a Wednesday night.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He pauses, glancing around the room, small voice. “It’s disco night.”

Post Season 4, Eddie, Robin and Steve move to the Chicago. Eddie has a new habit of going to the bar on gay disco night, finding another brunette ex-jock to fill the Steve shaped hole in his heart. Until he runs into said brunette ex-jock at the same gay bar on disco night. 10/10 no notes I’ve read this like 5 times.

of all the gin joints by genesisofrhythm (Ao3)

e | wc 4,016 | cw: they fuck | spice level: I read this at my work desk in between meetings

Summary: “So, do you come here often?”

Steve choked at the familiar voice, turning abruptly. “Munson?”

“What’re you doing here?” Eddie asked, his mouth gaping open as he looked over at Steve.

Steve was surprised to see Eddie here as well. What were the odds of them both driving out of Hawkins to come to the same gay bar?

Or: Steve goes to a gay bar to support Robin, when he sees Eddie Munson. He can't tell Eddie the real reason he's there without outing Robin so he tells him he's bisexual. But Steve's totally straight... right?

Steve [Evan Buckley voice]: “I’m an ally ✊”

This is a fun fic, definitely Steve Harrington speed running a sexuality crisis. Good for him. (also I have a soft spot for fics that use fob lyrics as a title, forehead kisses for that)

Exactly What It Looks Like - BilbosMom (Ao3) @bilbosmom-belladonna (tumblr)

E | wc 31,517 | cw | spice level: I should not have read this at my desk 😳🥵

Summary: Steve makes a face at Eddie. “You've imagined doing stuff with a guy?”

“Yeah, man,” Eddie replies, spreading his hands wide. “Doesn't everyone?”

Steve tilts his head to the side as he thinks. Maybe not very often, but his freshman year when Davey Riggs had been swim team captain? Yeah, he had definitely imagined some stuff that had made trips to the locker room kinda awkward.

“Yeah, that's true,” Steve answers, nodding. “I wonder why everybody acts like it's so gross, though.”

In the summer of 1986, Steve and Eddie have some perfectly normal fun between a couple of perfectly normal dudes.

I’m honestly insane over this. Like, I’m going to be thinking about this for a long time. Post-Season 4, Eddie and Steve find themselves watching porn together. And it’s not weird at all if you jerk off next to your new best friend. And maybe it becomes a habit. And helping them out every once in a while isn’t weird. And maybe sucking his cock isn’t weird. Or fucking his thighs —

Please remember to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read/enjoyed! Support your writers 🖤

#steddie #steddie fic rec #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #novacorpsrecruit fic recs #fic recs #long post #if you’re the writer and I missed your tumblr please feel free to let me know!!!!#please feel free to request themes !!

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ghost-bxrd · 3 days

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And now I'm thinking of talon!Calvin + reverse robins, in which Calvin is about the same age as Damian, or older, and was sent to guide Dick to kill his parent's murderer, as a begining of his talonisation, as killing does break you a lot, especially when you're already vulnerable, or pick slack if Dick can't kill Zucco, and allow him to join, despite falling the test of being capable of killing without electrium running in his blood, which would've made him the best Grey Son

Cue, Calvin clearly remembering being close friends with John Grayson, and being like wait this owling is my friend's, yes, he would be safer if he would be turned into the talon, but I can't let him be broken like I was, maybe I can just give him a shot of electrium without all that to protect him

Cue, while Calvin has a whateoido Bruce, who had his fair share of wild children, starting with his own blood son for crying out loud, adopting the kid

Omg Damian would hate Calvin. Like—- so much. (While Calvin would be largely indifferent and just ignore him. Which just makes Damian angrier lmao)

But the way I understand it, a dose of Electrum strong enough to make a difference on the human organism would have to kill them first! So Calvin would have this awful dilemma about wanting to make sure Dick can’t be hurt but having to kill him in the process. It would tear him up inside. Especially because the kid is so trusting and happy that he met someone who knew his parents well (and angry, yes. There’s also the anger. But there’s also joy still there despite it all. Joy over Calvin of all people.) He doesn’t even have to coax Dick away from the manor, he follows Calvin like a duckling the moment he mentions living in the circus with John and Mary for a time.

(Damian nearly has a heart attack when he goes to check up on the traumatized, angry boy that’s been living with them only shy of a month and finds him missing. The window wide open. No signs of forced entry, but a suspicious track of claw marks on the window sill (the moment Calvin realized just whose child Dick Grayson was) and a parliament of owls suddenly perching on the large oak tree a few yards away. And Damian doesn’t even care that Tim still hates his guts, or that Jason has school in the morning, or that Bruce is still stuck in a WE meeting— he mobilizes all forces to find Dick and bring him home.)

Meanwhile Calvin is screaming internally, perched between the spires of Gotham cathedral with an energetic little circus kid in his lap munching on a hotdog and asking questions about Calvin and the Graysons nonstop. And by the time Dick yawns and sleepily and nestles his head under Calvin’s chin, content to be in the presence of someone from the circus who was friends with his parents, Calvin realizes he can’t kill Dick. Not even temporarily. He can’t do that to him. He’ll just— he’ll just have to protect him himself. Make sure the Court never gets their claws on him. Ever. They get to have him over his thrice dead body.

#some musings #Calvin Rose #Dick Grayson #the flying graysons #halys circus #the court of owls #talon #reverse robins #prompts #Damian wayne #batfamily

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sepublic · 2 days

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Homesick!

I just gotta say I love the pun of this episode’s title; I thought Homesick would allude to it being about Luz missing home, but it was actually a joke on Hooty being sick!

That said, we DID get what would’ve been our first look at Manny, as well as an early version of Camila lore! Turns out she was going to be a nurse, but in the end I think I like veterinarian better. Still, I remember discussing healing back during S1A as a potential track for Luz because of this, so to see that theme be apparent with both parents was cool!

Manny’s face being shrouded also seems to indicate that the dramatic reveal behind him -the illness- was always planned, at least since the pilots. Luz said he drove an ambulance, past tense, which seems like some dark irony given he probably needed one at one point. Remember how some of us theorized after Reaching Out that the Abomaton alarm reminded Luz of an ambulance siren related to her father? Man… On the plus side! We can guess Camila and Manny met through their professions, so we could try applying that to canon as well! Compassion is such a Noceda trait I love it.

Likewise, I appreciate how these two leaked storyboards have Luz and Eda covering for each other! One sticks their neck out because something means a lot for the other, but the other decides it’s not so important they’d sacrifice the one for it… With this episode, Eda doesn’t want Luz to look like a dunce but Luz is honest and can’t bear to see her mentor be mocked either, and is trying to take responsibility for what she feels is HER mistake too! It’s really sweet seeing Eda inadvertently teach Luz the Healing glyph.

Speaking of, it seems we would’ve gotten individual glyphs for all spells, as the fandom once assumed! I guess the show did glyph combos to explain why Luz doesn’t immediately find everything, as well as create a sort of fun system behind Luz having to mix and match things. And we even got to see what we always wanted; Luz making an ENORMOUS glyph around her enemy! Goes to show my speculation that since glyphs rely on the magic around them, they aren’t physically taxing; Something we see brought up with Eda’s own magic.

Caduceia reminded me of an early Hermonculus, being a teacher who didn’t really care much for the actual students and even seemed to enjoy mocking them! She looks like Raine, so much that I wonder if the design was repurposed for them because it was such a nice one! I dig the play on Caduceus, with Snakeslie as a palisman! Snakeslie looks so much like a worm on a string. Given Luz and Caduceia are both healers, it’s neat they have a snake in common, though Caduceia’s seems to allude to her being a snake (liar); Her palisman’s name is literally Snakeslie. Snakes lie. Glad to see Stringbean with the positive rep!

I also love the gag of King calling himself the King of whatever’s convenient, and it was really cute seeing him want to prove his own worth! Because two witches, it’d be easy to feel like he has nothing to offer, which is part of Sense and Insensivity in canon! There’s parallels between the A and B-plots, with Luz and King feeling ineffectual and their owl friend supporting them, only to be helped as well! Eda and Owlbert are linked and hell so are the demon hunters and Caduceia!

The House Demon lore was neat, even if it was stuff we already figured out with canon; House Demons being like hermit crabs, and also rare! Seeing healing magic be used to make someone sick and even control their mucus/phlegm was disgusting yet fascinating! And I was delighted to see the demon hunters again, they’re underrated side characters imo and we even got a crew nickname for another one of them!

I also like the bit of the moral here; That sometimes, it’s not that a student is bad or isn’t trying, sometimes the teacher is failing them. Maybe some people think this generation is raised too soft and coddled, but I think it’s an important reassurance for a lot of kids who struggle and blame themselves for it; I’ve taken teaching classes before, and we were taught to be vigilant with ourselves as potentially inadequate for students. It’s the onus of the teacher to adapt to a kid’s needs after all, and actually care!!!

What an unexpected delight! I never imagined the crew made storyboards for additional episodes and not just the pilot! This one has no voice alas, but it’s better than nothing and I feel storyboards have such a nice charm to themselves as well! I really thought the pilot would be my last episode review, but I keep getting pleasantly surprised and gifted by this show…!

#the owl house #the owl house pilot #luz noceda #Eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #king clawthorne #the owl house Owlbert #the owl house caduceia #the owl house snakeslie

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regressionschool · 2 days

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Little Haven: Springbreak Chapter 3

Miss Emma smiled warmly at Tim before heading off to fetch his lunch. "I'll be right back with your food, Timmy. You get to know your new friends."

Tim watched her leave, feeling a bit nervous but also excited about talking to Sophie. He turned back to her, and she was still smiling brightly at him.

"So, Tim," Sophie began, swinging her legs under the table. "Is this your first time here?"

"Yeah, it is," Tim admitted, feeling the warmth of her friendliness. "I just got here today."

"Wow! That's so cool!" Sophie exclaimed. "I'm here every day while my daddy is at work."

Tim was taken aback by her casual mention of being at the daycare daily. "Really? Every day? What does your daddy do for work?"

Sophie's face scrunched up in confusion, her pigtails bobbing as she tilted her head. "Work? Um... he does... grown-up stuff. I'm not really sure."

Tim chuckled at her innocent answer. "Oh, okay. What did you do before coming here every day?"

Sophie brightened up, clearly understanding this question. "When I was a big kid, I worked as a barista at a coffee shop. But then my daddy rescued me from that, and now I get to be a little girl all the time!"

Tim was intrigued. "Rescued you?"

"Yeah!" Sophie said with a big smile. "I don't have to pretend to be a boy or worry about adult stuff anymore. It's so much more fun being a little princess!"

Tim nodded, understanding a bit more about Sophie's life. "I go to college," he said, thinking about his own responsibilities.

Sophie's eyes widened in surprise. "College? What's that?"

"It's, um, a place where big kids go to learn like a school," Tim explained, realizing how complicated it sounded.

Sophie looked Tim up and down, her eyes lingering on his shortalls and the slight bulge of his diaper. She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You don't look like you're big enough to go to school," she said with a mischievous grin.

Tim blushed deeply, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "I-I am, really," he stammered. "It's just that... well, I needed a break from being big."

Sophie giggled again, clearly enjoying his discomfort. "Well, you sure don't look anything like a big boy now. But that's okay! Being little is way more fun."

Tim couldn't help but smile at her playful teasing. "Yeah, it is," he admitted, relaxing a bit more.

Miss Emma returned with a tray in each hand, her smile warm and reassuring. She set Tim's tray in front of him first, revealing a plate of pancakes already cut up into bite-sized pieces and a very blunt fork. The syrup was drizzled in a smiley face, adding a touch of whimsy.

"Here you go, Timmy," Miss Emma said gently, patting his head. "Enjoy your lunch."

She then placed Sophie's tray in front of her. Sophie's pancakes were whole, accompanied by a regular knife and fork. Miss Emma glanced back at Tim. "I'll be right over there if you need anything," she said, pointing to a highchair where a little was already fussing for her attention. She left them to take care of the other little, who was eagerly waiting for her feeding.

Tim picked up his fork, feeling a bit self-conscious about his meal being pre-cut. Sophie, on the other hand, seemed unfazed as she started cutting her pancakes with practiced ease.

"These pancakes are the best," Sophie said between bites. Tim took a bite of his pancakes and had to agree—they were delicious. "Yeah, they are really good."

Sophie looked at him with a twinkle in her eye. "So, Tim, what do you like to do for fun? When you are not pretending to be a big boy at school "

Tim blushed again at Sophie’s playful teasing, but he couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I like reading, playing video games, and sometimes writing,” he said, taking another bite of his pancakes. “I’m studying journalism in college, so I do a lot of writing.”

Sophie’s eyes widened with interest. “Journalism? What’s that?”

“It’s about telling stories and reporting on things that happen in the world,” Tim explained, trying to make it simple. “Like writing news articles or making videos about important events.”

Sophie scrunched up her nose in thought as she pondered what Tim had said. “Important things, huh? Like when Tykables changed how their unicorn diaper looks?”

Tim chuckled, finding her enthusiasm for such a seemingly small change endearing. “Yeah, I guess that’s important in its own way. Do you wear Tykables?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Sophie nodded, grinning. “Sometimes! They’re really cute. But I wear pull-ups during the day too, especially when I’m running around and playing a lot. Daddy says it’s good to have both options.”

Tim smiled, appreciating Sophie’s openness. “That makes sense. It’s nice to have choices.”

“Do you always wear diapers, Timmy?” Sophie asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Tim hesitated, feeling a bit shy about discussing it. “Well, I decided to wear them for my stay here. It helps me feel more like a little and less like a big kid who has to worry about everything.”

Sophie giggled, giving him an understanding look. “I get it. Sometimes it’s nice to just be taken care of and not worry about making it to the potty.”

Miss Emma returned to check on them, carrying a sippy cup of milk for Tim and a regular cup for Sophie. She placed the sippy cup in front of Tim, making him blush again. “Here you go, Timmy. I thought you might like some milk with your pancakes.”

“Thanks, Miss Emma,” Tim said, accepting the sippy cup. He took a sip, feeling oddly comforted.

Sophie grinned at him, while grabbing her cup with both hands. “Don’t worry, Tim. You’ll get used to it.”

Tim nodded, feeling grateful for Sophie’s kindness. “Yeah, I guess I will.”

#ab/dl diaper #diaper stories #ab/dl stories #regression school #wetting diaper #ab/dl girl #diaper bulge

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marshmallowprotection · 1 day

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Any hcs of Saeyoung and his days trained by the agency? I saw some pretty messed up ones and it made me tear up a bit remembering that he was just a KID

Saeyoung's time in the agency is far from joyful. It is the worst experience of his life because he sold his autonomy away for the chance to keep his brother safe, and it was for nothing in the end because Rika and V didn't keep their promise.

There isn't a lot of concrete evidence as to everything he went through during his time in the agency, and due to how much he pointedly jokes about his experiences to cope, it's hard to tell the truth from the lie he put in to make you doubt the validity of what actually happened.

So, if anything, I think it's important to point out that the agency did send him to California to study computer science. He went by a solid alias during his time there, Chilyoung Choi, and this is revealed in the diary Rika wrote for the Special Believer box. He went missing before the graduation ceremony, and the newspaper clipping Rika had was proof the agency wiped all the data of him being there which made a lot of students question if he was even there or not.

It seemed like his existence was a question meant for a scary story online about how someone never existed at your school but you all collectively remember this person for some reason. So, imagine that, Saeyoung is no older than fourteen or fifteen, and he's in America, no choice but to learn English and other languages as fast as possible to acclimate and not be suspicious, and he has to remain out of sight at all times as not to make a lasting impression on others, but be good enough to ace all his classes without fail.

He doesn't even get to enjoy the experience of being in school or making friends in school. Sure, it's implied he did speak to others sometimes, but that... that isn't a fun experience. I think that had to be hard on him, because Saeyoung loves to learn and if his life wasn't cruel, he would stayed in college to learn as much as he could for as long as he could. It was another slap in the face that he couldn't live a free life, but maybe, just maybe, Saeran would be able to experience a life like that.

It's a note of contention between Seven and Vanderwood when Seven slacks off. He procrastinates doing much of his work, and I think he does that for a reason. Most of the work he's doing is dirty work that wealthy people want to pay off the agency to take care of so they don't have to worry about getting their hands filthy. That means the work he's doing in the field and through cyberspace aren’t things he’s morally okay with.

After all, if you're going to pay an agency to take care of something for you, you are not a good person, and even if you are, what you're asking for from the agency is more likely than not illegal and would be considered taboo or unforgivable in the public world 9/10 times. For a long time, I always theorized that Saejoong Choi was amongst those who paid the agency, and hot damn, I was proven correct in the RAE. That goes to show how dirty and underhanded the agency is when it comes to work.

Anything for the bottom dollar.

Anything for greed.

Part of the reason why he avoids doing his work until the last minute has to do with the kind of work he's doing. I feel like if his target is innocent and he doesn't want to do what the agency wants him to do, he puts it off as much as humanly possible and tries to find other ways to take care of the problem first.

If that doesn't work, the only reason why he procrastinates is because he doesn't want to go through with doing what he has to do. In the end, he doesn't have a choice, and neither does Vanderwood, they’ve got guns at their heads and that’s why Vanderwood doesn’t fucking ever mince his words and tells him to get over himself and DO IT. He does it, and he long lost the reasoning to tell himself to think about the morality of the situation.

It'll happen to Saeyoung eventually, too.

But, as much as Vanderwood thinks of saving his own ass first, we all know that he covers for Seven, too. As much as he reasonably can in a situation, anyway, doesn't make Vanderwood the best person, but I do think his soft spot for Seven is important because it shows a good reason why some people soften to Vanderwood in the end. He has a good heart underneath everything, and even if he has methods to do things that most people don't agree with, he still wants to look after his brat.

Seven doesn't want to hurt other people who don't deserve it. But, he doesn't have much of a choice given the fact he sold his life away for his brother. He doesn't regret that choice, but he has to live with it in ways he never imagined when he made that deal as a kid. Ways that haunt him every day, even after the agency is dismantled from every angle imaginable.

Now, I think most people are well aware of the fact that Seven has had missions where he has to dress up to get close to his target. There are a multitude of reasons why an agent would have to dress up, and sure, not all of those reasons are horrible, sometimes you need to wear a tuxedo to get into a party. You have to look the part otherwise you're going to stick out like a sore thumb.

But, I don’t think most people who see him dress up think about the implication of his words. This is a snippet from his Diary that you can look at in the RFA box. Saeyoung has been a member of the agency since he was a teenager, and it doesn't blow past me for a second to think about the fact that they'd have him dress up to fill a role to get their targets to drop their guard long enough for the kill.

Saeyoung dressed up as a maid because there was a "maid fanatic." I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like the phrasing of those words and I never have. There is some creep at the event he attended and the only way he could get close to this creep was by dressing up as a maid to get this guy to look at him. They used the fact that he's a scrawny teenager / young adult to their benefit, knowing that if he is there playing a helpless damsel, their targets will eat it up.

The amount of sexual harassment and WORSE that Saeyoung has experienced is something I don't think he's even begun to unravel. I do think as well that the agency giving him the opportunity to don a new persona on missions also helped him explore his gender identity and fluidity. He feels comfortable as a woman when he's the one who has a say in his look, and while no Saeyoung fan agrees on what label he's comfortable with, nonbinary, genderfluid, trans, or a cis guy who simply loves to crossdress or do drag—it's an interesting to see how we all view his exploration of gender.

I personally think he's genderfluid, and he doesn’t mind whatever pronouns you use for him, but if you deviate from using he/him as your default, God there’s a look of euphoria on his face the likes of which you have never seen before. “Pretty girl” and “Good boy” hit the same for him but the former really makes his eyes sparkle. My headcanon, of course.

Though, I think sometimes he has a complicated relationship with his identity because his self-discovery happened not because he decided to dress up and learn more about himself, but because the agency told him he had no choice but to dress up. He doesn't want his experience in the agency to taint what he sees when he dresses up, which is why I think he does what he does in the chat room to receive compliments now and again from the other members. He ends up fishing for compliments because he wants them to come from a genuine place, not from some creep he has to get rid of for work.

I think it'll be better for him once he's out of the agency and he can explore his identity comfortably, and his MC can play a role in helping him feel validated in his sense of self, regardless of how you headcanon him. Because, more than anything, I think he deserves to have an experience that makes him feel good when he dresses up, allowing him to overcome the damage the agency did to him and embracing that he can identify and express himself anyway he wants to and nobody can take that from him.

Most people are aware of the warehouse phone call. He spent days in a warehouse behind enemy fire and the only consolation he won out of that pain was the Honey Buddha Chips they paid him off with for the "trouble". He spent those days thinking he was going to die within an instant, one wrong move and he's dead, and that's one of the hard traumatic events he's gone through that he hasn't unraveled the way he needs to.

I cannot even begin to imagine how agonizing it was to sit there, no food or water, knowing that if he made a single sound, they would kill him without remorse.

He isn't just a desk agent who hacks his way into what they tell him to. If they tell him to go out into the field, he has to and that's that. He doesn't have a say in the matter.

He's mentioned visiting Antarctica and I believe a few island nations before. Again, you can't tell for certain just how much he's joking and how much of the truth he's telling you, so you have to take it with the smallest grain of salt and work out the realism. But, it's clear to me in my mind that he's had to travel to places just to take care of a mission and those missions put his life at risk.

He's trained not to defend himself but to attack first. He doesn't keep guns in his bunker but he knows how to use one. He knows best how to defend himself in a fight, considering that the car he used to take you with him was bullet proof, and that's not something you do in the average life. You don't just get a bulletproof car for no reason. You get it because you're scared for your life.

I make it abundantly clear in most of the posts I write about him to remind people just how paranoid of a person he is. It's not healthy, not in the slightest, but if you understand where he's coming from, it makes sense why he reacts the way he does. Saeyoung is afraid of dying and he’s right to be afraid. Not only does he need to be scared of his father and how fast he could be erased, he has to be afraid of all of the people he has pissed off during his time in the agency. He is not short on enemies.

Plenty of people don't like him and that's one of the reasons why he was afraid to let anybody get close to him. It's not that he's afraid of letting himself be loved, although, that is something he does have to learn how to accept, it's more so he's afraid of people being tortured because they love him. Bad people will exploit your weaknesses and if you own those weaknesses close to your heart where anyone can see it, they will know how to hurt you.

Honestly, there are a lot of things he went through during his time in the agency, things that I don't think will ever be able to account for because it's going to take him a long time to open up about what happened to him. He always puts the needs of others before himself. He's going to get better about that in the future, but you're going to have to be gentle with him as he begins to unravel all of the things they made him do to survive. He's not out of the water yet but at least he's willing to trust his partner with his heavy heart.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #mysticmessenger #mm #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #luciel choi #choi luciel #707 #seven #character analysis

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arthur-r · 4 months

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i feel really sick (breakup vent)

#fuck!!!! working on programming homework and i am DISTRACTED #i think maybe my now-ex-partner is an asshole and i don’t like him #i think i miss being his friend and i care about him a lot #i think he wasn’t trying to throw me away he was just trying to recontextualize #but that he doesn’t get to dictate the context and i take any crumbs that i can get #i think i’m NOT inviting him to my birthday party even though i asked if i could and he agreed #i think maybe i don’t fucking like him. or at least i won’t in april #remember when he was nobody? remember when he was fucking wikipedia guy??#god. im pissed that we got emotionally vulnerable DIRECTLY leading into him breaking up with me #like i think it’s really fucked that he was stalling knowing that he would break up with me any minute and he’s asking about my fucking #sex offender grandpa like that’s not going to be a loaded question?? i wasn’t going to answer him straight even though we were together #at the time. i didn’t answer anything personal. but how did he not realize that’s a fucked thing to ask about when you’re about to tell me #that we’re not allowed to even be CLOSE FRIENDS anymore. god. shut up!!!!#i think we need to either have a follow-up conversation of what our real boundaries are going to be or we just need to not try to be friends #because the first time around was just me asking him what i’m allowed to do. and that’s fucked up #i want to be friends but the way he broke up with me is actually really fucked up #(the way i called him lost and delirious downtown the next day was also fucked up. but he was in sound mind and body breaking up with me)#(and i fucking wasn’t!!!! he broke up with me after i took my fucking meds!!!!)#(and i had told him i had a headache and felt sick!! it wasn’t the fucking time!!!!)#i don’t know. just talking out loud. advice appreciated if anyone has it i guess. i’m going to do my homework #me. my post. mine.#vent cw

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shikai-the-storyteller · 10 months

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There are SO many cool interactions and lore things we can look forward to now that Rubius says he'll come back to QSMP (not only as an angel / demon, but potentially as a human too!), but that little detail reminded me of something:

Even though q!Vegetta and q!Rubius were mutually interested in each other wayyyy back in the beginning of the series, as an Angel / Demon, Rubius said he can't have relationships with humans because it's against the rules.

But a bit ago on stream, Rubius said that he's thinking about having a "human" side so he can build and do more things on the server as a regular player. I'm excited because this means he can have more casual interactions with people and we can see him interacting with his friends more (and he can experience The Horrors), but also...

I think we're in for some very interesting drama in the next few weeks.*

* ( Assuming Rubius doesn't get harassed off the server by toxic shippers and weird fans of the Eggs again. Please be nice to Rubius and welcome him back kindly, he's a very cool guy and his character is SO interesting )

#Full disclosure: shipping stuff always comes second (or dead last) to fun random interactions and dumb bits between friends #I'm more excited about Rubius coming back PERIOD #but u know. the potential for some Rubegetta crumbs or full-course meals is a fun little bonus for yours truly #i talk #qsmp talk #Anyways like I said #god forbid I see anyone being freaks about Rubius again because it'll be ON SIGHT #''But FooIi//getta is-'' I Simply Do Not Care #I don't care about fictional ships I want Rubius to interact with his friends on the server without fans being freaks about it #(I'd like to reiterate I have nothing against that ship I'm just very tired of seeing people being weird to Rubius because of it)#(because they think he ''gets in the way'' or whatever)#I will say that's one massive advantage Karmaland had over QSMP #characters could flirt or make out or bang or whatever and fans would just laugh it off because It Wasn't That Deep (usually)#I think a lot of the younger fans (...and many English fans...) need to adopt this mindset #I'm looking forward to seeing how Vegetta handles it though because knowing him... it'll be very interesting...#<-- I say this knowing full well they're just going to be their normal idiot selves and I'm so glad about it #I miss seeing Vegetta and Rubius interacting they're so funny together and they have a beautiful friendship #I do have my head in my hands listening to them talk sometimes though LMAO

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magentagalaxies · 11 days

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vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester #and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself #(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished #but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together #and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends #at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else #like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B #like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections #but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown #the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was #working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai #so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously #i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter #i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender #and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like #''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth #but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me #this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent #in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester #that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through #so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire

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lilgynt · 4 months

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honestly fine with gale as far as how he responds and feels about counter violence to the capitol like i get why katniss is like i hate how he treats innocent human beings like they’ve personally responsible for his suffering and doesn’t know about taking a life up close like she’s right but also he’s thinking big picture during a war and doesn’t help most of his thoughts about the capitol or said war are proven right - like when he’s like is it safe to have everyone gathered here at the hospital and katniss is thinking yeah this can’t be healthy or encourage healing and he’s thinking no they’re gonna be targeted bc they can’t run and are useless for capitol use and bam what happens. he’s right in his own way half the time but what annoys the fuck me about him is him being like so pushy about his feelings even when he KNOWS katniss is completely oblivious to that kind of stuff and keeps blindsiding her with it and getting mad at her for not knowing what to do with that info even with the fact that she found out at like. the worst time of her life when she was stuck in a situation she would have a very hard time getting out of safely with everyone she loves and holds it against her she cares about peeta at all and the whole you only care about me in pain and all i could think is i’ll never compete with how much pain peeta is in so i lost it’s like so you understand how katniss operates is mostly out of concern and worry romantically wise bc she hasn’t had a chance to care about this shit outside of like oh who i am hurting/killing with my choices and then are STILL like im gonna kiss her then stop bc she’s obviously not into it at the moment for the right reasons and it’s like kissing drunk i get he’s like a teenager and is a dumb shit but also leave that girl alone for the love of GOD

#personal #like sorry! i’m gonna like peeta more where they have scenes #where katniss actively seeks him out after nightmares and refuses to let his hand go #where they spend their last free day just hanging out and cuddling and she’s like okay. to letting this moment go on forever #when she thinks about kissing him she’s like yeah it felt nice and had a suprising heat and i miss it now that i can actually think about #and in general seems like every moment isn’t spent feeling super guilty or worrying about his feelings #like that’s a large bit of it but more circumstancal than like. something that would happen with peeta #but with gale katniss is like i just want my friend back i feel bad i hurt his feelings like this #how can i make him feel better i wish it was like before and she’s constantly throwing out olive branches #and gale is upset with nearly choice she makes so yeah i get why she’s like okay yeah ill kiss him see if that helps #and in her mind it’s like peeta equals the capitol getting what they want and that path #holds so much danger and just. acceptance of the awful life ahead of her #so even if she does talk about his long eyelashes at length i could see why she’s like confused about feelings for him #and gale seems like okay picking him is picking a different life even she’s not actively picking him for him #does this make sense i don’t know but i get peeved during gale katniss scenes like give that girl a BREAK.#she’s been through two hunger games is obviously fucked up dealing with a lot of background drama and obviously cares about the people #around her stop being so fuckin mean #like they have nice scenes but it’s not their romantic scenes for sure #she feels safe with gale wants him around and they have nice banter but he keeps fucking it up with this i love you crap #even when he realized he likes her like damn.

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