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nevermindirah · 3 years

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Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: June 6th, 2021

I’m back with more ask responses! You can also check our Frequently Asked Question sheet if there’s something you’re wondering that’s not answered here.

FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

Thank you for the patience with these questions ♡

Hey in very beginning of step 3 in the scene where Mr.Holden had a thought dancing on the tip of his tongue but he kept it to himself after MC and Cove were being cute (idk if it makes a difference but this is when they're dating)... Can we know what he was thinking/ wanted to say? It's been bugging me lol

He would’ve gone into a “look how much you’ve grown”, “your dad is so proud of you”, “I’m so glad things worked out with the MC”, and etc spiel, haha. But he resisted the urge to fawn on his baby boy, at least for that scene.

If we planned to move away for college/future plans in step 3, is it implied that MC and Cove would have a long distance relationship for sure? Could MC have convinced Cove to come with them? How is the dynamic of their relationship going to be addressed in Step 4, if that makes sense?

Cove is willing to follow the MC where they went after everything is settled for them there, and if they’re sure they want him to come! You’ll get to decide how things shook out during those transitional years just by making choices about it during the opening prologue of Step 4.

Hi! First off, how does it feel to have created one of the best games when it comes to inclusion for lbtq+ peeps? I've never felt as validated with my identity and sexuality when playing a game and I'm seemingly not alone ♥ Second, and this might be a little too specific, but what kinds of drinks does Cove like as well as dislike? Thank you, you're the best ♥

Thank you for very much! It’s really nice to hear the game felt inclusive. Cove likes regular water and fruit juices/smoothies most! He dislikes coffee and cola, and he’s not super into most teas either.

Hi, may i ask what gb patch stands for? Specifically the gb part lol

It stands for my old, silly username I used in places like Neopets as a kid, aha. The company name wasn’t super thought out since it was originally just me making VNs as a hobby. Luckily, “GB Patch” kind of seems like it could mean something reasonable, so I didn’t have to rebrand when it did become a more serious, commercial group.

If we chose to not propose to cove in the step 3 dlc would he propose or would the mc propose in step 4 or the wedding dlc?

Yeah, you or Cove can propose in Step 4 if you’re not already engaged! The Wedding DLC takes place after the engagement so the proposal scenes aren’t there.

will you guys announce if the early access for the new game is out on patreon ?

When beta builds of Step 4 or whatever start coming out on the Patreon we will mention it here on social media too.

Heyy I just had a quick question about Baxter if that’s okay :)?

I saw in an ask+answer that it’s possible to casually date Baxter In step 3, but what leads up to that? I have the step 3 dlc and I’ve tried playing them In a different orders and ways but it doesn’t seem to get anywhere ^^;

The Step 3 DLC is Cove-based because he’s the default guy. There’s a separate Baxter romance DLC that’s not out yet. That’s where you can get him to date you. I’m sorry for the confusion!

Will we ever get any LI's or side characters with physical disabilities or deformities? I think your games would be a great place to have them in since they're always so accepting and safe!

Yeah, we do hope to have representation for that in future projects ^^. Thank you for the confidence in us.

Is it possible to get Cove to take the bed and MC to sleep on the floor?

Not in Step 3, I’m afraid.

So, I have played the prologue of Our Life countless times and I haven't gotten the [Your Life] achievement, why is that?

Steam sometimes isn’t connected properly when an achievement unlocks and so it remains locked on your account. If that happens, unfortunately getting the scene again won’t unlock it. The achievement becomes inaccessible because the game thinks you already have it. Playing with the same Steam account on a different device or fully deleting your game data (more than the only the save files) are the only work arounds we’ve found.

Since when you talk with Jeremy in step 3 it's mentioned he goes on dates with someone (which assume is JB because who else would take this boy on dates) that makes him happy, does that sort of make JB and Jeremy the canon relationship in the first game?

The default for XOXO Droplets is that JB casually goes on dates with each of the jerks! Shiloh would’ve been harsher if Jeremy was the only guy getting her attention, haha. But the player can change that default by dating just one person the whole game for their own story and who she ends up with for real has no default.

Hi, hello! Huge OL fan, thank you so much for the wholesome content, it was very much needed during these times. Managed to get several people to join team Cove, so that's very exciting, I always have people to fawn over him with. I have a little question and I'm sorry if it was asked before, but does it ever come up in the game what Cove has told his mom about us? (who knows, with so many options, one can miss it) Or, alternatively, will it come up in the Step 4 DLC?

Thank you very much for sharing the game with people <3. It’s really great to hear people are liking it. Right now that doesn’t come up in game. Kyra is willing to keep her mouth shut and Cove isn’t gonna have that conversation either. At least not when he’s younger, but yes, perhaps when he’s a fully grown big boy in Step 4 you can ask him about it.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since it has been confirmed that there would be two love interests for OL2, would there be the possibility of forming a polyamorous relationship with both love interests? I’m sorry if you answered this previously, I’m just curious.

We are considering it, but it’s not a guarantee yet. It’d be really great to have but it’d add so many extra alterations that’d need to made, aha.

Hello! You mentioned how Cove would be uncomfortable with kids at 23, but how old would he be when he’s comfortable with having/adopting kids? (Same goes for the other LI’s.) btw, love your game!!

He’d want to be at least 25, but even older would be good. Derek would want to have kids when he and his partner could reasonably support them, the age itself wouldn’t matter. If they were doing good at 22 and wanted kids, he’d be up for it. Or they could wait until their 30s or whatever. Baxter is also more of a “when it feels right” guy rather than having a specific age requirement. Cove is just especially wary of being a young parent because of his own parents. I’m happy you like the game!

does step 4 immediately play after you press "end summer" in step 3? or is there another button/transition (like the story text thingy) before the epilogue begins? what happens after the epilogue? roll credits? 😂

Step 4 will have transition section always and there will be an extra button, if you own the Derek or Baxter DLC. By default the Cove-based version of Step 4 just plays once Step 3 is over. However, having the other guys’ storylines will mean you get to pick which version of Step 4 plays; Cove Step 4 (the basic one), Derek Step 4, or Baxter Step 4.

Happy pride, thank you for all you do for us🥰

I have a quick question though, I recently got a MacBook after my old windows computer broke, and now steam says I cannot download it, but it has no issues with other games, what can I do to download it?? I’m sorry if my English is bad

Happy pride month! Unfortunately, Our Life isn’t available for Mac on Steam right now. To be an approval application Apple requires having special notarization and we as a small group haven’t gotten that. Itch doesn’t care and lets us release the game for Mac there anyway, Steam does care so we’re locked out of putting the Mac build up on their storefront. Feel free to email us and we can try to help the situation out further!

[email protected]

Hello! I was jus wondering if the Baxter and Derek DLCs are still happening? I haven’t heard anything about them on here or patreon in a while so I just wanted to make sure ^^

They’re still coming and we just released a new sprite sketch on the Patreon for the Derek DLC c:. But right now Step 4 is still much more of a priority. Once that’s closer to being done we’ll focus way more on sharing previews for the other guys.

is it possible to tell cove you love him (platonically) at step 3 fondness/selecting him as basically family? i just love the mc and liz sibling interactions and it got me wondering about it (especially if you've selected that option)

You and Cove can be as close as family, but there’s not a specific scene in Step 3 where you say “I love you” in a family context. But there’s always Step 4~

do you intend on ever adding a collectors mode to Our Life? Like a way to collect achievements and CGs for the gallery without it effecting any save files?

We weren’t considering it before. But if a lot of players would find that helpful, we could start thinking on that!

Sorry if it's a silly question haha, but (in crush/love) is Cove really aware of how cute and cuddly he seems to MC? If so, what does he think or do about it? Or does he just ignore it?

He isn’t particular aware. Cove never truly stops being surprised that the MC is interested in/attracted to him, haha.

Would you say that the alone ending of xoxo droplets is worth playing again to get?

Nope, haha. The goal is to make friends/get a boyfriend and so the alone ending is kind of the bad ending for the game. Though there is a consolation prize if you get it by accident.

Is there any possible situation which would ever prompt Pran to bake for his girlfriend? Like I know it's unlikely I mean even if JB broke her leg somehow I'm pretty sure he'd still be like "I considered baking you a cake and doing the frosting the way I think looks interesting but you don't deserve a cake, no one does." right but also ahhh it would be super nice if some day he just surprised her with baked goods one day out of nowhere. JB would be so shocked it would be cute. So is there any possible situation where that could/would be a thing that he would do?

He might bake out of spite, like if he felt he had to prove her wrong on something. Or if JB used some good reverse psychology on him. Or he might do it in a relatively nice way if he could make his GF so shocked by the kind gesture that his amusement with that overrode his insistence on not being sweet. Pran is very difficult in high school, aha.

Is the "one route (where) it can be seen that Everett will drop his seemingly eternal waging with Jeremy pretty easily and can start getting along without thinking much on it" the Lucas route? I'm curious!

Yep! Everett will side with Jeremy if it’s between him and Lucas.

Hi I hope you guys are having a great day :) I just had to ask how Cliff would feel about Cove's partner/fiancé Mc calling them dad whether it be accidental or otherwise and secondly I also wanted to ask how he would feel about being asked to be the one to give the mc away at their wedding.

He would be very touched and excited! I hope you have a good day too :D

Hello! I saw an ask relating to whether Cliff "moves on" after Cove's grown up and stuff (and he stays single), but what about Kyra? Will she be with anyone else or will she stay single?

She does start dating again, but she takes it slow.

Hi! I absolutely love the art for characters in OL and I wonder is this fine to draw my MC in same drawing style and upload online later? Is this something artists would be okay with? Thank you!

Yeah, you can certainly do that C:

Hey there!

I wonder if I'm just being stupid here.. Is Step 4 a DLC? And if so, where can I find it? I can't seem to find it on Steam :< Thank you!

Step 4 is a free epilogue! It’s not done yet, but once it is finished you’ll just update your game file and Step 4 will be there after Step 3 ends.

hi! are step 4 and the wedding dlc two different things?

They are. Step 4 is a free epilogue that’ll be a default part of the game once it’s done, the wedding DLC is an optional paid expansion that takes place after Step 4.

Why did Baxter not receive a step 2 sprite seeing how he shows up later

Sprites are time consuming to draw and take money out of the budget that could’ve gone to other things. His tiny appearance in Step 2 wasn’t worth all the effort to make a sprite, aha.

I just realized, what happens if if you get the patreon exclusive moment but at a later date, when you don't have the membership anymore, it's updated (like a bugs fix update for example)? Would you have to get the membership again?

You would have to get the membership again to redownload the build. But there’s very little chance there’s going to be an update once it’s been out for over a month. If a build gets released with errors, players catch/report them within the first few days. So by the time the first subscription period ends, any problems that were noticeable would already have been fixed. And we’re certainly not gonna be adding new content to it once it’s been released for a long time. There’s no need to worry about missing out on something worthwhile in the future if you cancel your membership. It’s being made with the idea in mind that many players are gonna be getting it and then going.

Hello! Wanted to ask about gaming choice in step 3? Once upon a playthorugh I got the option to buy Cove a bracelet for his graduation present. I played the same basic character again and that option wasn't there anymore. I'm not sure where I went wrong. My Cove wears a bracelet on each hand and my MC is into fashion and jewelry. Do I need to put an earring on him or? Sorry, love your game so much.

He also needs to have liked bracelets in Step 2 for that to be considered a good gift option for him. Sorry for the confusion! I’m happy you love the game :)

Is Step 4 being released at the same time as the Wedding DLC or will the first come before the latter? Thank you!

I’m not sure. Ideally they’ll come out at the same time, but the wedding DLC has a lot of art to get done and we may have to release it after Step 4.

Can mc still get confession from Cove at the end of step 3 even if mc casually dates Baxter in step 3? Such as in crush mode?

I don’t think so. Maybe that’ll change, but generally there’s differences to the Step 3 ending if you were dating Baxter and those differences likely will conflict with getting the Cove confession.

For the patreon moments/dlcs, will it be available for all tiers?

It’ll be available for tier 2 (Fans) and up!

#our life #xoxo droplets #gb patch #ask #gb patch games #Our Life Beginnings & Always

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hearts4-robin · 3 years

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Junior - PenelopeGarciaxLittleSister

Paring: Penelope Garcia x her little sister

Warnings: none Genre: ☁️ (fluff) 🥴 (crack) Before you read this short one shot I would like to adress that I have only watched the first 5 seasons and that I just started on the 6th so if there’s anything that I missed that’s in the other seasons, that’s the reason. I would also like to say that English is not my mother language and there may be some grammatical problems or mistakes. This is my very first Criminal Minds fan fiction so please have mercy on me 😃

( THIS HAS NOT BEEN DEEP READ AND SO ON SO THERE MIGHT BE MISTAKES ) ———————————— Being Garcia’s sister had its pros and cons. Garcia rarely left the country and wasn’t constantly away. She did although use her computer a lot and never went anywhere without her to-go computer. “You’re not gonna drop me off out of nowhere are you?” You looked at your older sister in the drivers seat. Garcia laughed, her small cat earrings dangling. “I would never do that!” She exclaimed, taking a sharp turn to the left, the two rainbow colored dice swinging from side to side in the front. You playfully rolled your eyes at her. “You would!” You said, nudging her lightly. “Nooo, of course I wouldn’t! What wouldn’t the team think of me!” “They’d find it your normal behavior!” You teased as your sister parked her car in the parking lot behind the building. “Oh shut it you prick.” She showed you slightly, of course in a playful manner. You both entered the building, walking to the elevator. You had been handed a school project about crimes. And you took your sisters job to advantage right there. Garcia had called in this morning to ask if she could bring you along, explaining the situation. Hotch had, surprisingly, said that it was alright and that you could ask as many questions as you‘d want.

The little ‘bing!’ from the elevator was apparently enough to draw everybody’s attention towards you and Garcia. Adopted or not, profilers or not, you could pass as her real little sister. ”Whos the little one, babygirl?” Derek was the first to greet you two. “This, my gorgeous chocolate prince, is my little sister.” ”Well hello there junior~. My name is Derek Morgan.“ He smiled widely and shook your hand. ”I’m Y/N! It nice to finally meet you, it’s nice to finally know your real name.” You smiled at the man, letting go of his hand. ”Finally know his real name?” You looked at the new agent. ”She always refers to him as ‘hottie’ or ‘chocolate thunder’ or something like that.” You laughed. Garcia pushed you behind her, even though you were about the same height as her. “No I don’t.” Garcia smiled innocently as Derek let out a laugh. You smiled shyly and walked back up beside Garcia. You looked at the dark haired women beside Derek. She reached to shake your hand. You shook her hand as you both introduced yourself. ”I’m Emily Prentiss. It’s nice to meet you! I didn’t know Garcia had a younger sister.” Emily smiled at you as both let go. ”Well you aren’t the one hacking stuff and researching new people constantly.” You smiled. ”Why must you expose me every time?” Garcia looked at you. You just smiled back smugly as the two agents smiled brightly. ”Okay little one, let’s go meet Hotch and then you can go ask Reid some question.” Garcia smiled and gave you a little push towards the short staircase. ”Why does she have to ask Reid question? Why need Reid when you have Garcia as a sister?” Derek looked after you. You stopped, looking back at him. ”It‘s for a school project! We have to write about the police forcement but I informed the teacher that my sister works here so I suppose-“ ”Yeah, you‘re a special kid, now come on you have a meeting with Hotch!” Garcia hurried as she pulled you up the stairs. You laughed and followed you sister up the stairs. ——— “So you’re working on a school project and you want my help?” You looked at Spencer. He looked confused, like he didn’t understand why. ”Yes. You have an IQ of 187, and that is above the usual which places you as a genius.” You smile at him, clicking your pen as you say ’genius’. Reid smiles shyly back as he looks at your notes.

“Do you enjoy school?” He looked at you as you reached for the sheet Reid has just taken. “Meh. I guess it’s okay. I mean, it must’ve been easy for a 12 with such a high iq to get through high school.” You scribbled some more down on your paper. Spencer snorted slightly as he took a sip of his coffee. “You could say I wasn’t popular. Hotch kicks like a 9 year old compared to what I’ve been through.” “Agent Hotchneer kicked you? Why would he kick you?” Spencer chuckled at the memory. It was truly terrifying but something by it brought him happiness. “It was a case.” Reid smiled slightly as he answered. “So when is this due to?” Reid scooted closer to you, sitting shoulder against shoulder with you. “In two weeks.” You smiled at him. He smiled back brightly. Straight I got your back, you tied up your hair in a pony tail, bending back to scribble down. “Do you do that every time you write or read?” Spencer looked at your hair. You turned to face him. “Yeah I do, it prevents the hair from falling in front of the words or something.” “Can you do that to me too?” You smiled brightly and stood up. “Of course! Sit up straight, pretty boy.” You snickered as he straightened his back. You could hear agent Derek snicker from his desk. You gathered his hair in a cute little pony tail that would match yours. You giggled a little at him. You weren’t usually the type to giggle but this was cute. You sat back down and continued to work along side with Spencer. “Look at them! They all get along...” Garcia said, wiping fake tears away. “Get yourself together. Did you really think they wouldn’t get along?” Emily laughed as she went back to her desk to get her lunch. “It’s lunch time, teletoppies.” Derek snickered as he playfully tugged on both yours and Spencers pony tail. You both let out a shriek and glared at Derek.

“What a prick.”

You faced Reid faster than you could say ‘math’. You had both said that a the exact same time. You both broke out in a fit of small laughs as you walked to lunch.

----

This took way longer than it should. Anyways! I hope you liked it, this clearly isn’t my best work but tumblr is not making it easy for me at the moment. I will try update with new fanfictions as often as possible. I will make a more detailed post about that in the near future. I hope you liked this and please give me your opinion on it or if there’s something that i could do better or anything like that.

Thank you so much for taking your time on reading my work, it’s highly appriciated!

~ The Author ✨

#criminal minds #garcia #dr. reid #spencer reid #derek morgan #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch #jennifer jereau #criminal minds fanfiction

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medea10 · 4 years

Text

Medea’s Anime/Game Superlative of 2019

Well it’s that time of the year where I look back on the animes I’ve watched and the games I played with this outdated meme quiz from 10 years ago. But I still do it for the fun of it! As usual, it doesn’t matter what year the anime or game came out. If I messed with it this year, it counts for the honors. So if it came out two years ago (which feels like forever ago), it counts. Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2019: The Promised Neverland

Episode 1! That’s all you need to watch to officially get hooked to this series. I jumped on this title at the beginning of the year not knowing what to expect due to Aniplex and Crunchyroll whoring this particular anime months prior. But once I saw the first episode, I was immediately hooked. It shook me to my core to watch one of the most graphic scenes to come from this year. I was captivated by Emma, Norman, and Ray’s plans in order to escape their doomed fate of becoming food for creepy demons. Each episode, I was at the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. Is Gilda in cahoots with Sister Krone? Will Don learn the truth about what really happened to Connie in episode 1? Can Ray be trusted? IS NORMAN STILL ALIVE?! Come on, I’m like really far ahead in the manga. I want to see Norman and Emma together again. I’m so happy this series is getting a second season in 2020.

Favorite Main Character of 2019: Haru from My Roommate is a Cat

It was a close call this year for main characters and normally I don’t shoot for main characters. This year I will admit that I fell in love with Chika from Kaguya-sama. Plus, I still love me some Lana from Pokemon Sun/Moon! And I finally started part III of Jojo’s, so Grandpa Joestar is just the awesome OH MY GOD that I need. However, they all lose out to a cat! Yeah, just like that one year where I picked Nyanko-sensei as my favorite main character, I’m doing it again.

I know Haru can’t actually talk back to her human, but the audience can hear what she’s really saying and it’s absolutely amusing. She was funny when she thought the word “Haru” meant food. She’s so adorable when she’s playing with whatever catches her eye. She’s got quite the personality (almost tsundere even). But I gotta admire Haru too. Before she was adopted, Haru was on the street trying her best to look out for her younger siblings. Even giving them more food scraps when she would go hungry herself. After Haru was adopted by Subaru, she eventually warmed up to him as “her human”. It was a learning experience for both as Haru didn’t know how to react to having a human care for her and Subaru has never taken care of a cat before. But Haru is a loyal kitty who loves her human. Hell, she ran away from home because she feared her human collapsed somewhere. Haru’s the greatest!

Favorite Villain of 2019:

…

…Dear God, give me the strength to pull through this one.

Princess Malty “Myne, Bitch, Whore” Melromarc (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

No, this is not me insulting her. These are all her official names. Really! In many of the animes I watched this year, the villains were pretty hit-and-miss with me. I’m in the middle of watching the elven uprise with Black Clover and didn’t want to talk about that this year. Fairy Tail’s villains are just okay. And I didn’t watch Frieza this year! So let’s talk about the ONE villain who even out-trump’s the actual villain to the series.

It only took one episode for an entire fandom to turn on one single character. A single lie that figuratively speaking threw our main protagonist Naofumi under the bus, kicked him in the nuts, shanked him, robbed him, and thrown him off a cliff. Myne did so much throughout this series. She lied about being raped. She abused her power to get what she wanted. She set up someone to fail constantly. She attempted murder on her own sister (several times) just to keep her status as first in line to the throne. And she cheats so she gets her way! It was so sickening to watch this vile woman for more than just one episode. When you created a character who was so disgusting and revolting as a secondary villain, you did something right! It’s like with Shou Tucker and Father from Full Metal Alchemist. Ask any anime fan and they’ll definitely remember Tucker over Father. Myne is this anime’s Shou Tucker! And I have to give her some credit, she is now one memorable villain. And aren’t villains usually supposed to be despised? I, Naofumi, most characters in Shield Hero after episode 21, and all of the internet can come together in agreement to say, we hate Malty, Myne, Bitch, Whore.

Final insult on the matter, she’s a cunt!

Favorite Video Game Character(s) of 2019: Piers & Marnie (Pokemon: Sword and Shield)

I knew point blank that Marnie was going to be my favorite rival in this game. I knew I was going to enjoy the antics of her yell squad (a.k.a. Team Yell) too. But I never expected to meet her brother and enjoy him too. Like in more recent games, Pokemon has given your character a total of three rivals to look out for. And while Hop is just the British version of Hau and Bede is just…a fuck-face, Marnie was someone who marched to the beat of her own drum. She recognizes a powerful foe and has a level of respect for her rival. She has her own fanbase, but isn’t totally arrogant about it. Plus, she doesn’t mind helping you out and giving an extra boost in battle. Plus that smile scene is just too adorable for words. And then there’s Piers!

First of all, I just love the design of this guy. What did I say when I first laid eyes on him? It’s like if David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Sid Vicious threw up on a pentagram crafted from Hot Topic gear and this dude emerges! And much like his sister, he marches to the beat of his own drum. That’s why he’s the only gym leader in Galar that doesn’t use the Dynamax method. I would have been satisfied if I only got to see him once or twice in the game. But I was blessed when Piers came to my aid to take down the Marco Cosmos thugs AND take on all the rogue Dynamax pokemon in the post-game. I’m impressed! Out of all the people they picked to help the protagonist and Hop in this adventure, it was Piers. I am ever so happy by this. I am so heavily invested in this guy that I’m already thinking of fic ideas involving him.

Favorite Game of 2019: Pokemon Masters

As much as I really do love Pokemon Sword and Shield, I gotta give it to the mobile game this year. This game not only made one of my reoccurring dreams come true, but gave it something no other Pokemon game has been able to do in over twenty years. HUMAN VOICES! The trainers, they speak! AND YOU CAN CHANGE BETWEEN ENGLISH AND JAPANESE! Do you have any idea how much of a win this is for me! I know they’ll never have Tracey Sketchit in the game, but this still rocks my world. Do you know how much I love hearing Mamoru Miyano play a dickish bad guy? Do you know how badly I need to hear Daisuke Ono on a day-to-day basis? I’m a voice queen!

I know I don’t usually like to give praise to freemium games for the mobile phones, but this game is quite nice. I mean, yeah, you really do have to save up your gems in order to (hopefully) get the 5-star trainer that’s currently advertised and the urge of wanting to open up your wallet to actually purchase gems is tantalizing. Not as fucked as Fate/Grand Order, but you get my meaning. Unlike a lot of the freemium games, this one doesn’t limit you so much to play (unless you spend fake or real money in the game). You can super train all you want and not lose stamina! Plus, I like these special sync moves between trainer and pokemon. And there’s just something about seeing all of these different trainers from all these regions together and interacting with each other. Despite never seeing a lot of this in the anime, manga, or previous games.

Favorite Het Couple of 2019: Retsuko x Haida (Aggretsuko)

In one of my baby accomplishments this year, I stopped being a tight-wad and splurged on a Netflix account. Right around the same time it becomes unpopular. Hahaha! Why does this always happen to me?

Throughout the series, we’ve watched Retsuko take chances with a lot of guys including a charming polar bear, a red panda with the brain of a pot plant, and the world’s handsomest donkey. But Retsuko has friend-zoned her workmate Haida the whole time. Meanwhile, I and pretty much like 90% of the fanbase ship the fuck out of this. Rightfully so! Haida has been admiring her from afar for so long. He tries his best to be supportive of her in the office and elsewhere. He was even nice enough to run back to the office to try and help Retsuko with the last-minute paperwork thrown at her on Christmas Eve. Hell, we watched him at his best in the season two finale helping to corner Tadano. And even though she turned him down at the end of season one, I still hold out that there’s hope. I mean, it was right after a break-up, so it was kind of the right call for Retsuko to not go out with Haida. Season three could give us this ship in the end. I know Retsuko doesn’t see Haida as boyfriend material as of now, but I have a feeling it can change.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2019: Atsuko “Akko” Kagari x Amanda O’Neill (Little Witch Academia)

That’s right, Akko and Amanda. This is the one Yuri ship I’m leaning on more than all the other ones. I know she wasn’t involved in the infamous love-bee episode, but that still didn’t stop me from making dirty jokes whenever these two girls were together for an episode. And that’s what makes it better! Akko and Amanda’s relationship wasn’t tampered with because of a love bee, what they have is real! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But whenever I see them together doing something in an episode, I can totally see them as something more. Then again, my mind is warped.

Besides, this is as close to a yuri couple as I got this year. I can’t mention the one second we got of Ymir x Historia from Attack on Titan. Yayoi and Shion didn’t get much in Psycho Pass 3. And it’s leaps and bounds better than that OTHER anime I watched with two girls. Happy Sugar Life? More like a big pile of nope!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2019: Mafuyu Satou x Ritsuka Uenoyama (Given)

You knew it was coming! I was rooting for these two boys since they met in episode one. And even though I had to hold it back a bit when I learned of Mafuyu’s grieving, I still hoped that one day, these two boys would defy the odds and become the sweetest couple of 2019. Was I correct? While it wasn’t as full-blown gay as Yuri on Ice, it still gave us so much.

As I mentioned, Mafuyu was in a relationship prior to meeting Uenoyama. And this one ended in heartbreak as Mafuyu’s lover dies. But meeting Uenoyama, Mafuyu was able to smile again and got to play the instrument his previous lover left behind. Mafuyu was able to shake off the sad shackles of the past and start life anew. Now is this feeling mutual? Of course! Uenoyama dealt with the worry of “will he, won’t he” and by the end of the series, the audience seems pretty satisfied with the outcome and hope for the best of these sweet boys.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect To Get Into: Domestic Girlfriend

2019 has given me surprise amounts of incest! This year alone I wound up watching several surprise incest anime plots including Kiss x Sis, Marmalade Boy, and Eromanga Sensei. And those of you who are not on the up-take, surprise incest is primarily a love plot involving your step-sibling. But there was just something about Domestic Girlfriend that I just couldn’t shake. I couldn’t believe I binge-watched this entire series. I couldn’t believe I picked up the manga immediately after the finale. I couldn’t believe…that I didn’t despise this anime! Yeah, usually anything with even a whiff of incest, I throw in the trash and put a bullet through its head. This one, I did not.

Simple story! Boy named Natsuo fucks a random girl and also has a crush on his teacher. Natsuo’s father tells him he’s getting remarried. Then, BIG BOMBSHELL, the random girl that got fucked and his teacher are now going to be his step-sisters. Concept alone was just fifty shades of messed up. I mean, who the heck do you root for in this situation? Throughout the 12 episodes I went back and forth either rooting for Rui or Hina. And for episode, I rooted for Miu, the cute literary girl. I was so intrigued that I had to dig through the manga for more answers. But I enjoyed this trashy soap opera! I doubt it’ll get a sequel, but it was…fun for the most part. Too hot for television fun! And if that makes me trash, well call me Forky because...

Yeah, I can admit that freely now.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Fruits Basket

*squeals* I never thought this would come back into my life. One of my all-time favorite animes was returning with a reboot. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! Oh sure, the first half of this series was literally a shot-for-shot remake of the original Studio Deen anime. But even that was enough to make me love every frame of it. Fruits Basket was just one of those animes that grabs you with the intriguing tale of a cursed family that changes into members of the zodiac. Then they take you on a fun ride with silly moments like Kyo and Yuki fighting each other or Ayame telling his ridiculous stories or Hatsuharu flashing some guy his junk. But then this series takes you on a detour of the most heart-wrenching stories involving heartbreak, bullying, gangs, abandonment, and hiding your true self.

This show re-introduced us to the many colorful and complex characters that exist. From the ultra-flaymboyant Ayame to the complex Ritsu! Many of these characters have severe baggage coming and going and you just wish the best for them. And seeing Tohru reach out to just about everyone in her own way, to tell them she’s there for them and she accepts them all for who they are, it just gets to you. 18 years was too long to keep this gem away from us. Welcome back Fruits Basket, we missed you.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Zombieland Saga

I know it came out last year, but I got the opportunity to finally watch it this year. And it was every bit of crazy as people told me it would be. Who would have thought mashing zombies and idol shows together would be a good idea?

Seriously! You’ve got Mamoru Miyano voicing the craziest character to date, who’s a necromancer who brings back seven girls from the dead. Puts special makeup on them to fool unsuspecting audience members! All to bring life back to the Saga prefecture. Add another layer to the WTF cake, these dead girls are all from different times including 2008, 1997, the showa period in the 1980’s…you even have one from the freakin’ 19th century! But that’s not all! These girls end up becoming an idol group singing different kinds of genres. One episode they’re head-banging to metal rock and the next IT’S A FRIGGIN’ 8 MILE RAP-BATTLE! And then you have this one girl named Yamada Tae. She doesn’t speak and usually makes weird noises throughout the entire series, but we don’t care! We freakin’ love her! And even with the oddball girl, she’s not the craziest character on here. Who needs a Best Girl category when you know the best girl is just going to be the crazy dude in the shades!

I’m absolutely cereal on this! Kotaro Tatsumi STOLE this show for his own! With his crazy antics, constant shouting random phrases every five seconds, and eccentric behavior, this made for one of the most entertaining animes I’ve ever watched.

Last Fandom of 2019: Pokemon: Sun & Moon/2019

I know I spent the greater part of Sun/Moon bashing several aspects of the series. But Sun/Moon was gradually getting better compared to its slow start. This year we’ve got some extreme character growth from some of Ash’s friends and even pokemon. I was amazed to watch episodes featuring Lana, Mallow, and even Sophocles growing. Lana up against Kyogre, Mallow’s thank you to her deceased mother, and Sophocles mastering Z-moves, all of these were great! Add to that, a Pokemon League that showed all of us up after 20 years of disbelief of Ash ever winning a competition. Where HE WON THE FUCKING COMPETITION! With the exception of one of the matches, this Pokemon League is definitely one for the history books for Ash. From his epic dog fight with Gladion, to the six-on-six with his mentor, to taking down a massive Ultra Beast, to taking on an island deity! All leading up to one of the most beautiful goodbyes and finale! Seriously, I screamed balls when I saw a pregnant Professor Burnet.

And my high continues with the new continuation of Pokemon 2019 (yeah, still the name). First of all, praise Arceus the animation has improved! Secondly, I am fully digging Ash and Gou traveling together. In answer to your question, yes I’m already shipping the hell out of them. Third, having these boys travel all around the pokemon world has given me so much hope in the world. The boys are going to be traveling the pokemon world revisitng old places including Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Kalos. I know I was disappointed in Ash not soley traveling to Galar and having Pikachu wear a Sherlock Holmes hat, but this I can’t cast to the side.

…

And yes, I support Ash x Gou like a beast!

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brookswackermanfeetcam · 3 years

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You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

#askies #anonymous #long post /#thank u!!

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qvietlight · 3 years

Text

time for the big archie fact file!!

The Basics

Name? Archie Virginia Taylor

Age? 37

Approximate height? 5′8

Hair colour? Blonde

Eye colour? Blue

Do they speak with an accent? No

Where are they from? Zuzu City

Where are they now? Stardew Valley

Backstory

Who are their parents? Charles and Anthea Taylor

What is their earliest memory? Meeting her little brother, Aubrey, for the first time. She turned to her parents and asked if they were sure he had to come home with them.

What did they want to be when they grew up? Still a ghost hunter, but more the Scooby Doo type - busting baddies and hanging out with the loch ness monster.

What did/do their parents want them to be? Archie’s job is a point of contention with her father. Charles wants her to have a ‘proper’ career. Any career. Preferably something in an office that made use of her degree.

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? Brothers or sisters? Yes, one younger brother, Aubrey. He’s adopted, and they have a very good relationship.

Do they have or have they ever had children? How many? No. Gross.

Do they or have ever had a significant other? Are they still with them? Why? Why not? Penelope. They were together for fifteen years, and broke up only a couple of months ago. Penelope wanted to get married, Archie didn’t.

Up until now, what’s the most noteworthy thing they’ve done? To them? To the people around them? To Archie? Starting That’s the Spirit! To other people? Graduating summa cum laude from Colombia with joint honours in Sociology and Political Science.

Tastes

What’s your character’s favourite colour? Red

Do they/would they choose to wear a scent? What would it be? She wears a Jo Malone scent - Blackberry and Bay.

Do they care about what things look like? All things, or only some? In some ways? She likes things organised, and likes to appear put-together herself.

What’s their favourite ice cream flavour? Pistachio.

Are they a tea, or coffee drinker? Or soft drinks, or do they drink a lot of alcohol? What kind? Coffee coffee coffee! She doesn’t really drink soft drinks, but in terms of alcohol, she prefers her drinks uncomplicated. Beer, whiskey, etc.

What kind of books do they read? What TV shows and movies do they watch? Mostly non-fiction, she’s always looking to expand her knowledge in whatever way she can, but she does have a soft spot for pulpy detective novels. In terms of TV, she watches lots of documentaries, and likes British Crime dramas. She’s also a big Twin Peaks fan.

What kind of music do they like? Do they like music at all? Is it loud? Angry? Fronted by a female singer? She’s into it.

If they were about to die, what would they have as their last meal? Japanese food. Bang bang cauliflower, gyoza, yaki soba...

Are they hedonistic? In all cases? Or does practicality sometimes/always/often win out? No, Archie is practical to a fault.

Do they have any philias or phobias? Not really. She’s largely unflappable.

Morals, Beliefs, and Faith

Do they have an internal or an external moral code? Internal, I guess. She’s not above a little light law-breaking to accomplish what she needs.

To what extent are their actions dictated by this code? Mostly?

Do they believe in a God or Gods/Goddesses/Higher being of some description? Nah.

Are they superstitious? Not really.

Do they believe in an afterlife? If so, what’s it like? Not really. All of her research has disproved an afterlife so far.

Do they have any specific beliefs that manifest obviously? No.

Are the respectful of the beliefs of others? To what extent? She tries to be. But some people are stupid.

Have they ever had to stand up to criticism for being religious? Or not being religious? Nope.

Would they be more likely to act for the good of the one, or the good of the many? The good of the one.

Relationships

Do they make friends easily? Not at all. Her personality is kind of abrasive.

Do they have a best friend? It was Penelope. So not anymore.

Can they get people to do what they want them to? If so, how? Sometimes? Mostly though just being completely relentless.

Do they have a lot of romantic relationships? Serious, or short term? Not a lot. She had a couple of girlfriends in college before Penelope, but that’s all.

Do they fall in and out of love easily? Not at all. It takes her a long time to warm to people.

Do strangers and acquaintances actually like them when they meet? No.

Do they have a network? Probably just her dad and brother now.

What is their relationship like with their family? Complex. After her mother died, she and Aubrey were raised very hands-off, and their father always treated them as adults rather than children because he simply didn’t know how else to relate to them. Archie and her father are very alike, which is part of the reason they butt heads so much. But there is no doubting their love for each other.

Are they still in touch with non-family people they were in touch with a year ago? Five years? Ten? More? She’s got a couple of friends from college she still talks to, but her social group isn’t exactly huge.

Do they like children? Do they want children of their own? No, and no.

Physical Appearance

How does this character dress? How would they choose to dress, if all options were open to them? Mostly dark clothes, clean and simple, and Doc Martens.

Do they have any tattoos? What do they mean? None.

Do they have piercings? How many? Just her ears, one in each lobe and one in her right cartilage.

Do they have scars? Where did they come from? Yes, from gender reassignment surgery.

Do they alter their appearance in some way on a regular basis? She wears makeup almost every day.

Is there something they’d choose to change about their appearance if they had the opportunity to? Nope, she looks hot.

Is there something about their appearance they’re particularly proud of/happy with? She’s got nice eyes, and she likes her freckles.

Objectively, are they physically attractive? Fairly plain? Unattractive? Attractive...

Do they have an accurate mental picture and opinion of their physical appearance? Yes, I think so.

How much time do they spend thinking about their physical appearance? Not much at all anymore. She looks how she always wanted.

General Knowledge

Can they navigate their own local area without getting lost? To what degree? Yeah, she’s confident and fairly intuitive.

Do they know who the top politician or monarch is where they live? What about elsewhere? Yes, she tries to keep up to date with current affairs, being a Poli-Sci major.

Do they know if/where there are any major conflicts going on right now? Yes.

Do they know the composition of water? Yeah.

Do they know how to eat a pomegranate? Obviously.

Are they good with the technology available to them? Average? Completely hopeless? Her lifestyle is very tech-based, so yes.

Could they paint a house? Without making a mess of it? She certainly thinks she could - whether that’s actually true is debatable.

Could they bake a cake? Would you eat it if they did? She can follow instructions because she’s not an idiot, so the cake would be fine, but she wouldn’t be excited to waste time on it.

Do they know how to perform basic maintenance on the common mode of transportation? She knows how to change a tire and the oil in her car. She has to, since her car is a pile of crap.

Do they know the price of a loaf of bread? Yes.

Specific Knowledge

Do they have a specific qualification in a narrow area? No, he dropped out of college.

Is there something they do or know exceptionally well that most other people don’t? Well, she knows a lot about mythology and the supernatural.

Do people often comment on a particular skill or area of knowledge to this character? Behind their back? Probably not?

Is there an area this character could be considered top of their field or a genius in? Probably not. She’s very intelligent, but lots of people are.

Have they deliberately sought to gain knowledge in a specific area? If so, why? She deliberately seeks knowledge in many different areas, because you can never be too educated.

Do they speak more than one language? More than two? Why? She speaks English, and some rudimentary Chinese and Spanish. It just seemed smart to learn.

Does their cultural background effect what they would be expected to know? Idk, white people shit?

Have they ever been publicly acknowledged for being well-versed in something? Well, she graduated college summa cum laude so yes!

Have they ever been bullied for knowing a lot about something? People wouldn’t dare. She’s scary.

Do they actively seek new knowledge, or let it come to them naturally? Actively.

Miscellaneous

What did they have for breakfast this morning? A cup of coffee.

What ridiculous belief/s did they have as a child? ): None really.

Do they like marshmallows? Not really. Not vegetarian.

Do they sleep on their side, front, or back? Side

Do they work better with sound or silence? Sound, but only sound she can moderate herself.

Do they have a strange obsession with something minor? Ghosts? Mythological creatures?

Do they like art? Some?

How fast can they run? Fast enough.

Do they prefer to sit on the floor or on a chair? Chair.

What do they want, right now? Another cup of coffee. And a cigarette.

#archie: about

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fink-le-freak · 4 years

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@mikey-putrid and I have this weird little desert town we created called Halflight and I want to share some of the character blurbs we wrote for the citizens

Notable Locations Within Halflight

-Halflight General Hospital

-Halflight Public Library

-Halflight Grammar School

-Halflight Town Hall

-The Flock and Feather

-Dragon's Keep Games and Comics

-Feline Good

-Pins N' Needles

-Ink Addicts

-Rose's Antiques

-Theodore's Oddities and Enchantments

-Kelly's Judo Club

-New to You

-Sunny Valley Nursing Home

Dr. Elsie O'Dalaigh, 54: The town's most beloved doctor. Her dry wit and eccentricities may put you off at first, but she's a very warm and wise woman and should you fall ill or find yourself hurt, you will be in good hands. She's originally from Dublin and has a fair number of stories to tell from her wild youth in Ireland. She has an affinity for all things macabre but especially spiders. You might find her dozing off on her porch swing or enjoying a cup of tea with a friend. You're always welcome to join her and her spouse for dinner.

Dr. Ivan Vasilevsky, 39: A sickly doctor who recently came to town from New York City because the air quality was better for his lungs. He's very brilliant but hardly friendly and very private. Because he's fairly well known, patients come from across the country seeking his care. The only person he seems friendly with is his nurse, Cameron.

Dr. Andre Jimenez, 34: An anthropomorphic parrot surgeon at Halflight General Hospital. He's a total social butterfly and loves to talk, talk, talk. He has trouble keeping secrets and falls into gossip frequently. He's well liked by all his colleagues, all but Dr. Vasilevsky that is.

Johnathan "Johnny" Ross, 20: A cowardly and sensitive young man with a passion for piercing. Though only an apprentice, he's very knowledgeable about body modification and keeps his own piercings immaculate. His motorcycle is also kept in pristine condition. He's also quite shy and is hardly ever seen without his girlfriend, Loretta.

Venus Estelle, 31: A laid back frilled lizard woman that claims to see the future through the smoke from her pipe. She's very transparent and sees no reason to keep secrets about herself. She has nothing to hide. She has a passion for music and plays drums in a local punk band, The Heart Electric.

Kaisei "Kai" Kelly, 56: A very stoic and serious judo instructor. His father was a boxer in Ireland and ever since childhood, Kai has been enthralled by martial arts. He fancies himself a train enthusiast and has a large collection of model trains in his home. His serious nature and brute strength can make him rather intimidating but his husband Rodney finds him cute. He visits his family in Kyoto every spring.

Rodney Kelly, 59: The gym teacher at Halflight Grammar School. Originally from Edinburgh and standing a diminutive 5'2", Rodney more than makes up for his height with personality. He's encouraging, kind, hyperactive and loud. Very, very loud. Fitness has always been an important part of his life, even at nearly 60. He does his best to make gym class a fun place for all instead of a source of bullying and stress for those who don't like team sports.

Jeremy Fox, 19: A brilliant college student neck deep in conspiracy theories. He's very paranoid and distrusting, often to his detriment. He wants to prove to his professors that aliens exist though none of them will give him the time of day. When he isn't studying or trying to prove his theories, he can be found practicing his bass guitar or stargazing. He and his older sister like to unwind by smoking pot and watching sci-fi movies. He's one of Johnny's closest friends.

Jodie Fox, 23: Jeremy's cheerful, supportive yet ditzy older sister and roomate. She let him move in with her after their parents kicked him out for being gay. She doesn't understand a lot of what he talks about but she's happy he's passionate about something. Her bedroom is filled with Care Bears merchandise and colorful collectibles. She's rarely seen without her sticker covered roller skates. The two siblings live in the apartment right above Johnny and Loretta.

Sunny McIntyre, 30: An anthro horse gym rat and fitness trainer. Her cheerfulness is contagious and her motherly nature makes her easy to talk to. Her thick southern drawl might make it hard to understand her though. She always looks on the bright side and doesn't have a pessimistic bone in her body. In addition to being a die hard Bon Jovi fan, she enjoys fishing, hiking and hunting. She also hosts a transgender support group at her house.

Junichiro Oguma, 46: An overworked and underpaid pharmacy technician. Though very good at what he does, he isn't really a people person. He's rather grumpy and has little patience for foolishness. He's infamously difficult to work with due to his perfectionism. He holds himself to ridiculously high standards and gets upset easily when he fails to meet his own expectations. His wit is drier than the desert itself.

Edward Dowler, 68: A retired illustrator living comfortably at the Sunny Valley Nursing Home. He takes his sketchbook everywhere and may sheepishly ask you if you would mind posing for a portrait. He's a gentle soul and a firm believer in the power of pacifism. He's very close to his adopted daughter and three grandsons.

Joanne Lawrence, 47: The owner of Joanne's Diner. She bought the place almost 20 years ago and turned it into a comfortable, 1950's style diner popular among bikers and travelers. She's very blunt and hates wasting time but if you treat her well, she'll treat you well. Threaten her livelihood however and you will pay dearly. Regulars might call her Mama because she takes such good care of them.

Dennis "Moose" Bowen, 52: The cook at Joanne's. He's a people pleaser and will do whatever a customer asks to make sure they enjoy their meal. Hearing someone say they didn't like his food is like a knife through the heart. He prefers to stay in the background and not call too much attention to himself. Joanne calls him Moose because of his large size.

Hilda "Mouse" Calhoun, 21: A demon waitress at Joanne's. Contrary to what you might believe, she's very down to earth and sweet. She's not here for souls or bringing you to damnation, she just wants to serve pancakes and save money for beauty school. Her petite build makes her the Mouse to Dennis's Moose.

Wally Mack, unknown but born before 1956, mentally and physically around 21-24: A living humanoid shadow that can usually be found on a wall at Joanne's. He's chatty and perky and loves to dance. He's able to interact with others through their shadows. If Wally was to touch your shadow's shoulder, you would feel it. He likes to play harmless pranks on Dennis.

Tiffany "Tiff" Cain, 25: An anthropomorphic eagle bartender at her father's restaurant, The Flock and Feather. She also volunteers to work with children with special needs on weekends. She's very patient and a daredevil at heart. Her straightforward, casual attitude makes guests comfortable and keeps them coming back. She may be seen skateboarding around town.

Hisao Nakajima-Stewart, 33: The recently appointed head librarian at Halflight Public Library. He's rather sarcastic and moody but becoming a father has softened him up. He's very passionate about high fantasy and hosts Dungeons and Dragons sessions at his house every week. He spoils his chihuahua, Kotori, rotten with all kinds of pretty dresses and toys. He loves his husband, daughter and newborn son dearly.

Delwyn Morgane, 29: An employee at Dragon's Keep Games and Comics. When his shift ends, he dons a full suit of armor and obsessively hunts down dragons, or at least tries to. He's yet to actually kill a dragon. He's quite handsome but has a few screws loose. He plays Dungeons and Dragons with Hisao and friends every Thursday night.

Klaus Brunsvold, 70: A quiet and hardworking man originally from Norway. English is not his first language but he's slowly improving thanks to his coworkers. Though he might look imposing, his warm smile puts people at ease right away. He works at the cat cafe, Feline Good, as a barista and gleefully serves customers fattigman and slices of ostekake. Goria says he has "big grandpa energy".

Jonas Ostergard, 61: A blunt, reclusive man that's easily recognized by his towering height and voracious appetite. Standing 8'2" in comparison to his wife's tiny 5', he's one of many oddities in this town. He's absolutely enthralled by zombies and robots and fills notebooks with detailed diagrams regarding them. He's often seen at the Flock and Feather, chatting up a storm with his friend Tiff. He has autism, ADHD and intellectual disabilities.

Jamie De Luna, 18: A scrawny young man enamored with anime and martial arts. He's a bit hotheaded and immature but nonetheless determined to become an MMA fighter. His younger sister Tala is his biggest fan and supports her nerdy big brother all the way. He loves cheesy kung fu movies and takes them very seriously. He thinks very highly of his judo teacher Kai and seems to think of him as a father figure.

Goria Stout, 15: A high school student and part of Hisao's Dungeons and Dragons group. She's partially an ogre, 25% to be exact, and admires her ogre grandfather greatly. However, at the same time, part of her has been made to feel ashamed of her pointed ears and blue skin. She's rather lazy and self centered, but occasionally shows a more warm side. She wants to study magic and become a feared sorceress but just doesn't have the natural ability to do so. She frequents the comic shop and is the only one that believes in Delwyn's quest to slay a dragon.

Wesley Eldridge, 19: The bratty and materialistic son of billionaires left to play in mommy and daddy's mansion. His parents are constantly traveling the world, so he spends his days lazing about and relishing his family's wealth. He's notoriously snobbish and will have no part in anything, or anyone, he deems beneath him. He's had a fondness for unicorns since he was a child and even owns a purebred Irish unicorn named Divinity Diamond. He's very protective of her and has no qualms about sending his guards after you if you dare harm her.

Renwick Ozul, 25: E-boy and aspiring model with a sour disposition. He's distrusting of others and keeps people at a distance, except for his close friend Missy. Despite his cold and calculating online persona, he's quite insecure and struggles with his body image. He can be rather rude and nasty but has his moments of vulnerability and kindness.

Chelsea Montgomery, 23: A quiet young woman who keeps to herself. Some people say she fades into the background. She's very creative and resourceful, cleverly finding solutions to most problems she faces. Her interests include anime, cosplay, drawing and video games. She's great with kids and would like to be an art teacher one day.

Dallas Silvers, 27: A monster hunter and unofficial sheriff of Halflight. She's bold and quick witted, outsmarting any beast that threatens the town and quickly subduing it or killing it. Her talent with a rifle is nigh unmatched in town. She's the second oldest of 11 children and adores her older brother, the bounty hunter Smokey Silvers. She finds it difficult to be open about her feelings but loves her family dearly.

(Characters below belong to my friend @mikey-putrid, follow him he's cool)

Brody Erickson-O'Dalaigh, 47: The town's resident maternal figure and unofficial monster hunter (or befriender, really). Their spunky, adventurous attitude often gets them into shenanigans, but they always manage to pull themself out. They are kind and loving towards everyone. No matter who or what you are, you are always invited to Brody's for a nice meal.

Landon Borowick, 26: Brody's, often unwilling, sidekick and a security guard at the local mall. He's a cowardly young man who would rather stay home and get stoned, but thinks of Brody as his hero and therefore ends up getting dragged along on their adventures. Despite his fearful nature, Landon is a physically intimidating person who will do anything to help a friend.

Darcy Cooper, 16: A rough and tumble student at Halflight Grammar School. Darcy moved to Halflight with her mother to open up a bakery, which doubles as their home, and she often makes deliveries on her bike. Her warm and friendly personality helps her to make friends easily. Usually covered in bandages, Darcy loves practicing stunts on her skateboard, as well as watching anime and playing video games.

Loretta Sims, 20: Johnny's girlfriend, aspiring cryptozoologist and collecter of cool antiques. Loretta is shy and timid, preferring to blend into the background and not draw attention to herself. She loves spending time in the forest and working on her ever growing scrapbook. She's never far from her beloved boyfriend.

Cameron Payette, 28: A nurse at Halflight General Hospital and Dr. Vasilevsky's live in assistant. Having grown up with 15 disabled and ill siblings, Cameron has developed a love of helping people, keeping them healthy and cheering them up with a silly song on their trusty ukelele. During their off time, they enjoy video games and sci-fi movies.

#oc #original character #long fucking post

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withbloodiedfingertips · 4 years

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an introduction to my characters: the protagonists

i decided that, for much needed context going forward, i’d introduce all of the protagonists (and their love interests, who are usually the dual protagonist of the novel) and the basic plots of all of my books so that you have a bit of an idea what to expect from this blog! i love all of these characters with my entire heart so if you ever have any questions about them, please feel free to ask! or if you want to know more about any of these books, just let me know! i’m gonna put all of the info under the cut just because i have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a long post, because i cannot shut up when it comes to my original characters, so i’m sorry in advance!

the resurrectionist:

summary:

moving away from home was supposed to make maisie’s life better.

she was supposed to fall in love, not get her heart broken by the only person who’d ever made her truly feel safe. she was supposed to make more friends, not actively hide from her coworkers unwanted attention in the backroom. she was supposed to be more than she was in high school, not wind up trapped in a shitty apartment with no hope of affording anything larger. she believes that she’s going to be stuck like this until she dies, wondering exactly what it is she’s sticking around for.

that is, until she meets akira, who inexplicably takes her in as a friend.

but is friendship really all he wants, or is it something more?

the characters:

maisie lovage:

i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t base maisie off of myself, in more ways than one. i always refer to her as essentially what i wish my future life could be like, if i had the courage to actually pursue it, though hers is a lot sadder than i always imagined mine to be. she’s a twenty two year old who is a huge fan of this japanese author - ayako uchida - and that’s pretty much the catalyst for her meeting with akira! maisie used to be much more of a dreamer when she was younger - she used to always imagine herself as a famous artist, showing her work in art galleries - but nowadays art’s more of a hobby she can barely bring herself to pursue anymore. she does sketch whenever things are slow at her job though, she’s a receptionist at a tattoo parlor. i think maisie’s different than me in a whole lot of ways, but at our cores we’re really similar. i don’t know. she’s just such a sweetheart there isn’t much i can say about her other than she’s grown far more cynical as she’s gotten older but still tries to be as nice as she can to others, though she snaps a lot easier at them if they manage to get on her nerves.

akira uchida:

i’m going to try not to spoil much about his character, because i don’t know if you all want to know what the major plot twist of this book is yet or not, but i love akira with all of my heart. he’s such a broken character - his father abused both him and his mother, and viewed the latter as nothing more than his property. his mother actually is maisie’s favorite author, but he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he’s her son and that she’s never going to be writing any more novels since she’s no longer alive. he’s twenty six years old and has some of the scariest icy blue eyes that maisie’s ever seen - his father’s eyes, which he hates more than anything. he’s tried to adjust his appearance from when he was younger as a means of escaping from his old life - akira uchida isn’t even his real name, it’s what his mother wanted to name him but never got the chance to. he’s tall and calculating, distant yet warms up almost immediately around maisie - though more because he loves teasing her for her naivety and how she still acts quite young at heart. i’m gonna leave it there because i think i’m going to spoil more about his character if i don’t but yeah!

worst case scenario:

summary:

to be honest i don’t really have a great summary for this one so basically: lawrence is the son of one of the most powerful hero in the city that he and cullom live in, the latter who is the extremely poor son of a single mother who he barely sees, thanks to how often she works. they’ve been best friends for their entire lives, aspiring to fight as heroes and protect the citizens of their beloved city side by side, until one fateful day when they decide to break into lawrence’s father’s old hero equipment. because heroes in this world aren’t born or made, they’re bought with money. a fact that lawrence’s father makes abundantly clear to cullom, who still believed there was some way for someone like him to save others without having to spend ridiculous amount of money. when cullom runs out of lawrence’s place and asks him for comfort, the hero’s son merely replies that his father’s right and that he’s sorry. this causes cullom to basically go on such a downward spiral that, one day at the tender age of ten, he decides to run away from home. as he’s wandering around the rougher part of town, he sees a scuffle between a hero and a villain in an alleyway, and decides to pick up the villain’s gun and shoot the hero straight in the back of the head to save him. the villain thanks him and basically adopts him into the little family of villains they have living at this one bar, and the rest is basically history! cullom’s being trained up to be a sniper while lawrence is being trained up to inherit his father’s legacy. a lot of angsty conflict ensues for obvious reasons.

the characters:

cullom cade:

this boy is my son. he’s one of my absolute favorite characters to write about because he’s, as most of my characters tend to be, so insanely broken in so many ways and just breaks further as the story progresses. and it’s that shattering that makes him sharper, darkens his heart to be only a distant shadow of what it once was. what i really focus on with him is this insanely pure, precious child’s descent into being far more morally grey than he originally was, but realizing with that, that the heroes aren’t actually the good guys. they’re insanely corrupt, which is what the villains are fighting back against. it’s painful to write about a character who still wants to be good but doesn’t really have the option to and grows pretty much complacent and, eventually, understanding of why he can’t be morally good but i think it’s an important story to tell. another important thing to mention is that cullom has pretty much an obsession with making lawrence pay - though there’s more feelings beneath that, as he realizes that he might’ve been more than a bit in love with him back when they were younger. i should add that cullom does grow up over the course of this novel. he’s not a ten year old forever. they don’t actually let a ten year old go out on missions. a fair bit of this book focuses on his actual training and him screwing up his first mission and all that. he also adopts a child at some point for very sad reasons i won’t reveal but it’s very cute. i love this bastard so much.

lawrence who i have yet to give a last name:

i feel so bad for him too. he genuinely doesn’t understand that the heroes are corrupt - and if he does, he chooses to turn the other cheek because he doesn’t want to believe it - until a few encounters with cullom make him realize that maybe he doesn’t have a real understanding of how the world is. he’s does, however, believe that he’s completely in the morally right - that he’s always been in the morally right, but his story is really coming to terms with how much of a villain he truly is. and also coming to terms with his feelings for cullom, because he too doesn’t really understand why he still hesitates to kill him. these boys are both idiots, basically, but i love them. lawrence is a super fun character to write about just because he’s kind of awkward and distant from being raised to be professional his entire life. he’s basically always been a young businessman, and the only time he could really be a kid when he was younger was around cullom. it’s a part of the reason why his father never wanted them to be friends and they had to hang out in secret often times because lawrence still do desperately wanted to be his friend. they’re both good boys, even if they’ve done bad things. i don’t know. i love them.

my unnamed plague romance novel:

summary:

the day the last of roisin’s family died of the bubonic plague, she made a vow to herself - that she’d do everything in her power to learn how to save anyone else fallen ill to this disease she somehow miraculously survived.

and maybe she could. if she weren’t an irish girl living in england, without even a scrap of hope for scraping up an apprenticeship. so she does what she can to ease the suffering of those on the verge of death. giving them water to wet their chapped lips. holding their frail bodies in her arms until their very last breath. singing the children lullabies so they can rest as easy as possible without their parents there to comfort them. until one day, she notices a band of thieves robbing valuables off of corpses. outraged, she goes to confront them, and falls prey to the teasing charms of none other than elliott leighton - son of the best doctor in all of london. but, for all of his medical training, he makes one fatal mistake that he can’t come back from.

revealing to roisin that his father doesn’t know about this side job of his.

and thus a deal is made - roisin will keep quiet about it in exchange for training beneath elliott, who’s only a few years away from inheriting his father’s business.

but will she prove too weak under the pressure of being unable to save everyone?

the characters:

roisin quinn:

i! love! roisin! so! much! she is such a delight to write and has possibly the best banter ever with elliott because of how unafraid she is to call him out for his bullshit, yet she’s still so inanely motherly and caring. it’s really the best combination ever and i just love how strong she is. i haven’t really gotten to write much of her but she’s adorable on so many levels. plus she has freckles! which are precious! i don’t know man, roisin’s just great. there’s really not much more i can say about her but if you wanna know more, just ask!

elliott leighton:

this bastard. he’s such a bastard. that’s really all i can describe him as, a bastard. an insanely suave, flirty bastard who isn’t afraid to flaunt his talents. he’s really the perfect character to be with roisin just because he can be super selfish and he does genuinely think she’s troublesome at first, but grows to care for her overtime because he sees how much she cares and how she truly does deserve to be in the medical field and vows to help her succeed, however he can. i mean what did you really expect from a character who steals valuables off of corpses? he’s not very openly affectionate - rarely admits at all that he is being affectionate, and gets all flustered when he’s called out for it, which roisin does whenever she gets the chance - but when he is... it’s the softest thing ever. he does think very highly of himself though. probably a bit too highly - he’s a hard teacher on roisin, and always praises his abilities whenever she slips up - but like i said, he’s really not a bad guy. just takes some getting used to i guess.

#mei writes #the resurrectionist #worst case scenario

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wistfulcynic · 5 years

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Osaka-shi Serenade 2 / 4

IN WHICH there is Christmas dinner and intense bonding, drunken shenanigans, and smut!

SUMMARY: When Emma Swan’s high school sweetheart betrays her she runs away, as far as she can get… all the way to Japan. She tells herself it’s not running, it’s an adventure, but when she meets a handsome Englishman as broken as she is, will she be brave enough to embark on a new adventure with him?

A//N: THANK YOU ALL for the lovely response to this story! As I said it’s a very personal one, and slower and sweeter than the kinds of things I usually write. I loved living in Japan and writing this has been a trip down memory lane that I’ve very much enjoyed. I’m so pleased you’re enjoying it too!

RATING: M (for this chapter!!)

On AO3

TAGGING: @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @searchingwardrobes @shireness-says @thejollyroger-writer @darkcolinodonorgasm @resident-of-storybrooke and of course @katie-dub and THANKING @distant-rose and @thisonesatellite for being brilliant betas.

(please let me know if you would like a tag!!)

PART2:

Christmas was, of course, not a holiday celebrated in Japan.

Of course it wasn’t, thought Emma, as she got ready for work on the 25th of December, five weeks after she’d moved to Osaka. Japan was a primarily Buddhist and Shinto country, and also, as Belle had explained to them in their last team meeting, the New Year was huge, and they would have a full week off for that. Emma understood.

But still, going to work on Christmas felt weird.

She’d already Skyped with Ingrid and Ruby and wished them Merry Christmas. There was snow in Storybrooke and her adoptive mom had carried the laptop outside to show her the snowman she and Leo had built, and all the presents under the tree, and even though Emma knew it was really just another day on the calendar, although she’d already lived through missing Thanksgiving, although Christmas carols played everywhere in Osaka all. the. time. since she’d arrived, she still couldn’t help feeling sad.

Adventure, she reminded herself as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. Trying new things. There would be other Christmases.

The expat pubs in Osaka, of which there were very, very many, seemed to understand her melancholy, or at least found a way to profit off it. Every one of them offered “Christmas dinner:” a choice of roast turkey or beef with potatoes and vegetables, smothered in gravy and accompanied by a pint of Guinness.

“I like a good roast dinner as much as anyone,” remarked Killian as they stood in a hugely crowded pub, looking for a seat and observing as those already seated ate their food, “But that is not a good roast dinner.”

“It suits me, mate,” said Will. “I intend to get pissed tonight, all I need is somethin’ to cushion the alcohol.”

“Well, I’m going to find a less… popular place to celebrate the Yuletide,” said Killian. “If anyone would care to join me?”

“I will.” Emma didn’t like the look of the roast meats or the thin gravy, plus it was too loud in the pub and far too hot. She felt claustrophobic and very un-Christmassy.

“And me.” Anna had been subdued all day, for the past few days actually, and the prospect of a Christmas dinner had cheered her almost back to her usual self. But now she looked down again. “Let’s get out of here.”

The three of them headed out into the streets, still busy and bustling though it was nearly midnight, and decided to walk towards Shinsaibashi.

“There must be someplace there that’s nicer than that bloody pub,” said Killian. “I don’t know why we go to that place so often, if I wanted a piss-up in a run-down local I’d’ve fucking stayed at home.”

Everyone was grumpy tonight, thought Emma. They could all use some Christmas spirit.

“We could always go to KFC,” she attempted to joke. “A student told me today that’s a Japanese Christmas tradition. A bucket of KFC and a strawberry cake.”

“No,” said Killian firmly. “I want a decent meal. I’ve been looking forward to it all day.”

“So have I,” Anna agreed.

They pushed forward through the thickening crowds, but when they reached the entrance to the covered part of Shinsaibashi-suji, where the lights were so bright it almost rivalled daytime and where shops, restaurants, pachinko parlours, and karaoke bars were all jumbled together in a bright mess of noise and energy, Anna held back.

“I don’t know if I’m really feeling this,” she said.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked her. “You seem down.”

“Yeah, I just— I don’t want a lot of noise. Can we maybe try someplace else? What about down here?”

They turned down a quieter side street, still bright and bustling but far less crowded. After a few minutes Anna stopped.

“How about this place?” she asked, indicating a red-fronted building with a dark-painted wooden door and a sign outside proclaiming it Osaka’s best steakhouse in almost correct English.

“Charley Brown’s?” said Emma, reading the sign. “Yeah, okay. Fine with me.”

Killian opened the door and they went in, indicated with hand gestures to the smiling and bowing hostess that they wanted a table for three, then followed her up the stairs to a small candlelit table in a quiet corner of the spacious room.

“This is nice,” said Emma, determinedly cheerful.

“Aye, it really is,” agreed Killian. His earlier mood seemed to have lifted, but Anna was still frowning.

She hovered next to the table as Emma and Killian sat down. “I don’t think I can do this,” she said.

“Do what?” said Emma, trying not to be annoyed. “I wish you’d tell us what’s wrong.”

“It’s— it’s Kristoff,” she said, looking sideways at Killian. “My ex. I— he— I talked to him last night and I’m just— I’m not feeling great.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” offered Emma.

“No. Thanks. I think I just want to be alone.” She tried to smile, though the strain in her face was evident. “You guys stay though, please. Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. See you.” Emma watched her go, then turned to Killian. “What was that about?”

He scratched behind his ear. “I think she’s just having some troubles with people from home,” he said. “She and her ex ended in a weird place.”

Emma could tell that wasn’t the whole story but she wasn’t going to try to pry someone else’s secrets from Killian. He and Anna were close and had been friends before she’d met either of them, and it really wasn’t her business.

Yet Anna’s departure left her and Killian alone together in an atmosphere that was undeniably and inescapably romantic. Their table was small and felt secluded in its little corner, lit with tea lights in decorative holders and by the soft glow of the shaded wall sconces above them. It was intimate and elegant, and the nicest restaurant Emma had ever been in.

“Well,” said Killian brightly. “What looks good?”

The menu was extensive and a bit confusing, but Emma’s attention was caught by a small card tucked between the salt and pepper shakers on the table, advertising a Christmas meal that looked delicious, far better than what the pub had been offering. Five courses plus wine for 4,000 yen. It was expensive, but it was also Christmas, and Emma felt like she’d earned it.

“I think I might just try this,” she said.

Killian picked up the card and nodded. “Sounds great,” he agreed. “I’ll do the same.”

The waiter appeared and they gave their order, and once he had taken it and bowed himself away, silence fell between Killian and Emma, alone with each other for the first time and for the first time feeling awkward.

Emma was determined not to be.

“So are you ever going to tell me the story of your notebook?” she asked him, a hint of challenge in her tone.

“Do I look like Nicholas Sparks?” quipped Killian, and she chuckled politely but she knew deflection when she saw it, and she was not about to let it slide.

“I have no idea,” she retorted, “But I suspect your notebook would be a heck of a lot more interesting than his.”

“Not a Sparks fan then Swan?”

“Stop trying to change the subject.”

Killian sighed, and rubbed behind his ear again. Emma made a mental note to play poker with him someday; with a tell that obvious he’d be an easy mark.

“Well if you must know I was taking notes because… because I’m thinking I might write a book. Someday. And when I have ideas I think could possibly go in it, I write them down.” His ears had gone pink, and the tops of his cheeks. Emma could not have been more charmed.

“Why would you feel like you needed to hide that?” she asked. “I think it’s amazing.”

He shrugged. “It’s just theoretical at this point, I haven’t actually written anything. But I used to write short stories when I was younger and my brother always said—” he broke off.

“What did he say?” she prompted.

“He said I had a gift.” Killian replied in a low voice.

“Sounds like a good brother.”

“He was.”

“Was? What happened?” The words were out before she could think better of them, and she tensed, hoping she hadn’t pushed too far.

“He died.”

She remembered what he’d said during their first meeting, on the subway. “Was that the funeral you wore the tie to?” she asked. “The tie you threw away?”

He nodded, looking down at his hands where they rested on the table. “Yes.”

“I’m so sorry, Killian.”

“It was a long time ago.” He looked away again.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt.” She knew this, of course. Firsthand.

“No.”

She also knew how important it was to talk about things that hurt. “Will you tell me about him?”

Killian looked up at her and she sensed apprehension but also relief, that he actually badly wanted to talk about this with someone who would understand. That he was hoping she would understand.

He had no idea just how much she did understand.

“Liam was my hero. That might sound foolish—”

“It doesn’t.”

“—but he was. He was eight years older than me but he always used to let me tag along with him and his friends. I didn’t realise what a big deal that was until I got older myself. In the summer he would take me to the library and help me find books to read and then sometimes we would get the train to Weymouth and go to the beach. He made me play rugby even though I do not have the build for it because he thought it would make me tougher than football would, and when our father went into drunken rages he would take the brunt of it to protect me.”

These last words came out all in a rush and his expression was almost defiant, expecting pity or judgement.

She offered neither, just took his hand and squeezed it hard.

“How did he die?” she asked. “If you don’t mind telling me.”

“I don’t like to talk about it, but… I think I’d like for you to know.” He took a deep breath and his fingers tightened on hers. “It was a car accident. Just a stupid, pointless accident, only I was driving. I was seventeen and practicing for my driving test, and I turned onto a busy road and some arsehole wasn’t watching where he was going and plowed into the passenger side, and killed my brother. Instantly. Just like that and he was gone. The police said there was nothing I did wrong, but I can’t help feeling like—”

“Like you should have been able to do something to prevent it.”

Relief flashed in his eyes, and gratitude. “Yeah.”

“I get it. My parents died in a car accident too.”

Relief turned to empathy. “Oh, love.”

“Yeah. I was twelve, and my brother Leo was two. So we have that in common too, that big gap between siblings. My dad was killed instantly, like your brother, but my mom died pulling me and Leo out of the wreckage.” She paused, blinking tears back, breathing deeply, pushing down the panic this memory still incited, even after more than a decade. “She pulled me out first, I was easier to reach, then told me to wait while she went back for Leo. She got him free but she had internal bleeding and strained herself too much.”

Her voice broke, and Killian held her hand even tighter. “Fucking hell,” he whispered.

“Yeah.” She swallowed hard, focused on her breathing. “It was pretty awful. My mom— she put Leo in my arms and then she collapsed and never got up again, and I— I have spent the past eleven years thinking if only I had stayed with her maybe I could have saved them both.” Her confession came in a rush, as his had done.

“Or maybe you’d have been killed too.” Killian’s voice was hoarse. “You were a child, Emma, there is nothing you could have done.

“Maybe. As it was all I had was a few bruises and Leo barely a scratch.”

“But that’s good, love. You had your brother, and he had you. I’m sure knowing that would have made your parents happy.”

It was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to her about the accident, much less someone who had lost his own brother so cruelly. Emma felt the tears she’d been fighting back spill over, and wiped her eyes with an embarrassed laugh.

“So that’s why you don’t like wearing ties,” she tried to joke. “At least that mystery is solved.”

“Aye. My father made me wear one to the funeral and cuffed me on the side of the head when I protested, said I was being disrespectful to Liam’s memory.” Fury flashed in his eyes, barely leashed, offering a glimpse of how terrifying he would be if he ever let it loose. Showing that his memories were as fresh as hers were. “Like he hadn’t spent Liam’s entire fucking life being disrespectful, like it’s so respectful to take out your drunken bitterness on your own bloody child.”

“So what did you do?”

“I put on the tie and I went to the funeral. Then when my brother was in the ground I burned the tie, and the suit, punched my father in his fucking face and left. I haven’t seen him since.”

Emma could imagine him, young and lost and drowning in pain and fury. She wanted to hug him, but instead she gently rubbed her thumb across his fingers. “Where did you go?”

“I’ve always loved the sea so I went down to Weymouth, where I used to go to the beach with Liam. I went to the harbour there and found myself a job as a labourer on a fishing boat, backbreaking work but I was lucky to get it. I worked there for just over a year, until I had enough money saved to pay for university. What about you? What happened after your parents passed?”

“It was pretty confusing for a while. We stayed with my friend Ruby and her grandmother since my parents didn’t have any close family to take us in, but then the state wanted to put us into the foster system. They said they’d keep us together, but I didn’t trust them, so when the social worker came to talk to us I wouldn’t let her in. I held the door shut and then I kicked and scratched and bit her, and eventually she gave up and left. She was furious. She shouted at me that Leo could be adopted into a nice family and if I was good they’d take me too. She said I was going to ruin his life, but I knew my parents would have wanted him to grow up with his own family. Even if that was only me.” She gave a self-deprecating shrug.

“Eventually my mother’s distant cousin, Ingrid, heard about what happened. She came and found us and took custody of us. Three years later she adopted us. She even moved to the little town where we lived so that we wouldn’t have to be separated from our friends and familiar surroundings.” She sniffed as tears prickled behind her eyes again. “I don’t know what we’d have done without her.”

Killian smiled, though he looked teary himself. “So a happy ending, then, of a sort.”

“As happy as it could be I suppose. Leo’s thirteen now and he’s a normal, happy kid. He loves Ingrid and doesn’t remember our parents, which—” she paused and took a deep breath before speaking, words she had never uttered to another person, words she had barely even managed to think. But she’d already told him so much, what was one more painful revelation? She could analyse her seemingly irresistible urge to spill all her secrets to him sometime later. “—I almost envy him for that,” she whispered. “I miss them so much. Even after all this time. I cry every day on the anniversary of their deaths.”

Killian’s hand shifted in hers, and she felt the soft brush of his thumb across her knuckles. “I cry on the anniversary of Liam’s,” he said, in a voice that held sadness and pain and profound empathy. He understood, of course. She’d known he would.

The waiter arrived with their first courses, shattering the intimate mood, and abruptly they were self-conscious, pulling their hands apart and smiling with forced cheerfulness as plates were set before them. Emma could still feel the imprint of Killian’s fingers in hers as she picked up her fork.

“This looks good!” she said brightly.

“Aye. Far better than that slop from the pub.”

They ate in silence for a minute and Emma, desperate for the ease of understanding between them not to grow strained searched for some topic of conversation less heavy than dead families.

“So why did you—” she began.

“What brings you to—” started Killian, and they laughed.

“I was just going to ask why you came to Japan,” said Emma.

“Funny, that’s what I was going to ask you.”

She grinned at him. “You first.”

“Well it’s not that interesting a story, really. After uni I took an awful boring job, in public relations. I’ve no idea why I even took it, my degree is in Modern Languages, but they needed someone who spoke French so they offered it to me. The salary was better than any other offers I’d had and they said they were a ‘cool young’ firm and I wouldn’t have to wear a suit, so I thought why the fuck not for a year or two. But then before I knew it, it was five years later and I was bloody miserable. I hated every morning I had to wake up and go to work, but I stayed in the job because I didn’t really have any idea what else I even wanted to do. Then one day out of nowhere I ran into Graham in London. We’d been at uni together and hadn’t seen each other since, so we went for a drink to catch up and he told me he was there for an interview to teach in Japan. He made it sound like an amazing opportunity, said I should come too since they were still recruiting, and I had always wanted to go to Asia so I said I’d give it some thought. And then the next day my boss told me they were cutting the staff and offered me voluntary redundancy and I said hell yes, took the money, and before I was even out the door was on the phone with Graham for the details of that job.”

“Wow, it’s lucky you ran into him.”

“Indeed. We weren’t ever that close and I hadn’t spoken to him in years. It was just a weird coincidence that we happened to be in the same place at the same time. What?” he asked, seeing her face.

“Nothing, really, it’s just I’m kinda here by weird coincidence too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I— I wanted to get away. From my life, and from my ex.” She glanced up at him, hoping he wouldn’t ask for details. She really didn’t want to talk about Neal, not with Killian. But he just nodded for her to continue. “So I just randomly googled ‘jobs in other countries’ and this came up. I’d never even considered going to Japan or even leaving the US, but it was like once the idea got into my head I couldn’t get rid of it. I felt like I had to go. Ruby thought I was nuts.” She laughed. “Maybe I was. But also, like, the interviews were being held in Boston, which is a three hour drive and a longer train ride and I wouldn’t normally have ben able to manage it, but the day they wanted to interview me I happened to have plans to be in Boston anyway, with Ruby actually. It was just all so easy, like it just fell into place. I don’t normally believe in signs, but that sure as hell felt like one.”

Killian shook his head, an odd, small smile on his face.

“What?” she asked him.

“I was just thinking of all the little things that had to come together in order for us to meet,” he said. “The odds against it were staggering.”

“And yet here we are,” she said softly, matching his smile with her own.

“Here we are,” he agreed.

—

They left the restaurant feeling content, full of wine and good food and the excitement humming softly beneath their skin at this hazy, undefined, unspoken-but-still-very-real thing that was blossoming between them, the attraction and the understanding and the sense of kinship that was unlike anything either had experienced before. Killian held the door for her and then when they fell into step his hand brushed against hers and Emma thought the spark might actually set her on fire. She edged closer and let her knuckles brush his in a way that was unmistakably deliberate, then his fingertips were tracing across her palm and—

“Oi, Jones! Emma!”

Will’s voice rang out from across the street and Killian and Emma all but leapt apart.

She didn’t know why, Emma thought crossly. They hadn’t been doing anything, yet the nothing they’d been doing was new and fragile and intensely personal, and she imagined Killian didn’t want their friends interfering in it any more than she did.

She glanced at him and he shot her a wry grin, and they crossed the street to join the group. Will was with Graham and Smee and all three were very much the worse for alcohol.

“We are goin’,” said Will, with the painstaking enunciation of the very intoxicated, “to sing karaoke. An’ you two,” he poked Killian’s chest with his finger. “Are comin’ along.”

“Mate—” began Killian, glancing again at Emma.

“Come on!” Will grabbed Killian’s arm and took a step forward, stumbling over the curb into the street and almost sending both himself and Killian flying headfirst into the gutter.

Killian steadied them both. “I’m not sure you’re in any state for karaoke, mate,” he said. “Maybe we should all just go home.”

“The night is young!” declared Will.

“It’s almost four a.m.”

“And we don’t ‘ave to be at work until three p.m.!”

Killian looked imploringly at Smee and Graham.

“Killian’s right, Scarlet,” said Graham. “You’re plastered and the rest of us are knackered, let’s get a taxi and go home. We’ll do karaoke another time.”

“Fine if you lot don’t wanna sing. But I am not goin’ home yet,” retorted Will, pulling his arm away from Killian and stalking off, as best he could stalk when he could barely keep his own feet under him. They watched him stagger for a minute, and finally Graham sighed.

“I’ll go after him,” he said. “Get him home safe. You guys don’t have to wait.”

“You sure?” said Smee. “I can go with—”

“No, you get a taxi with Emma and Killian, you all live in the same direction so it makes sense.”

Emma and Killian exchanged looks. It did make sense, but Smee lived at the same subway stop as Killian, which meant…

“Okay.” Smee grinned at Emma. “I’ll be h— happy to escort you home, my lady.” She felt Killian tense up beside her, and when she glanced at him his jaw was clenched tight. He caught her eye and shrugged. What could they do? Ditch Smee because they wanted to be alone in the taxi, maybe go back to one or the other’s apartment together?

Was that what they wanted?

It was definitely what Emma wanted, and she thought Killian did too, but they could hardly discuss that here.

Graham said goodbye and hurried after Will, chasing him deeper into the noise and crowds of Shinsaibashi, while Emma, Killian, and Smee turned in the other direction and headed for the taxi ranks on the quieter street of Midosuji.

“Imazato chikatetsu eki, kudasai,” said Emma to the driver as she got into the taxi between Smee and Killian. Her stop was closest.

“Imazato, hai!” he replied, and swerved the taxi in a sharp u-turn out into the street, tilting Emma almost into Killian’s lap. She braced herself against him and his hand came to rest on her knee, and when the taxi evened out along the wide avenue he didn’t move it.

Emma shifted, as subtly as she could, leaning into Killian’s side and pressing her leg against his. She could tell he was looking at her but she didn’t turn her head, didn’t dare risk seeing his face. He moved his fingers against her knee, almost imperceptibly, and when she merely pressed her leg harder against his he slid his hand slowly up her thigh, just to the middle of it. Casually, she let her hand come to rest next to his, looping their little fingers together. She heard him exhale slowly, as if trying to control his breathing, and he shifted himself, pressing his body all along the length of hers and twining their fingers more tightly together. Emma glanced over at Smee, but he was leaning his head against the window, oblivious.

All too soon they arrived at Imazato. Killian got out of the taxi to let Emma out. As she brushed past him he caught her waist and gave it a light squeeze. She looked up at his eyes, so blue in the bright lights from the subway station, brimming with emotions that made her heart race. Another time, his eyes said, and she nodded.

Emma ran across the street to her building and up the stairs two at a time, all five flights of them. She was feeling exhilarated and jumpy and humming with energy. She flung open the apartment door and kicked off her shoes, almost dancing into the living room.

“Do you mind,” said Aurora’s voice from the sofa. “We are watching a movie.”

“Oh.” Emma turned to see Aurora and Mulan sprawled out with a laptop on the table in front of them, sharing a set of headphones. “Sorry. I thought you guys would be at work.”

“We did a half day today,” said Mulan.

“We finished about an hour ago,” added Aurora. “You’re back really late.”

“Oh, I just went out to dinner with a friend. For Christmas. Um, Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“About that,” said Aurora. “Just so you know, next week we’re having a party. For the New Year. With some friends from our shift. Just so you can make your own plans.”

Mulan shot her an apologetic look, but Emma just shrugged. She was used to Aurora’s passive aggression by now. “That’s fine,” she said. “I’m, um, gonna go to bed now. See you guys later.” She could hear Aurora whispering as she slid her bedroom’s thin doors shut but she tuned it out.

Her mind and heart were still racing as she got into her pajamas and flopped down on her futon. Just one more week, she thought, four more days of work and then they had nine days off for the New Year. Nine days of vacation, surely, surely she and Killian could find some time to be alone with each other again.

She closed her eyes with a smile and fell asleep thinking about him.

— 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵 — 🇯🇵

The following week passed much as the ones before it had. She saw Killian at work and he still flirted and shared his lunch with her and outwardly everything was almost the same. And yet… whenever the group was together they made sure to stand next to each other, closer than they would have stood before. They sat closer too, at lunch, and shared little private smiles, and now and then when she was laughing or talking animatedly she looked up to catch him watching her with an intensity that made her heart pound.

After their shift on December 29th the group headed out, back to Shinsaibashi to a new bar Will wanted to try.

“I hear they make some fuckin’ killer drinks, mates,” he said. “There’s this blue shite, right, that has five different shots of liquor.”

“Five, really?” said Graham. “You’d be dead.”

“Nah, mate, not after one. It’d take at least three to end me,” chortled Will.

He held the door open for them with a flourish, and rubbed his hands together as it closed behind him. The room was brightly lit, done in shades of electric blue and glaring white and the bar was made of glass and decorated to look like a fish tank. Emma frowned at it, watching carefully until she was certain that the realistic-looking fish were not actually swimming.

“I think they’re just… part of the glass?” said Anna.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Weird.”

The bar’s glass top was scattered with laminated menus, featuring pictures of vibrantly hued drinks.

“That’s it!” crowed Will, pointing at a drink the same blue shade as the neon sign above the bar. “That’s the one. I’ll ‘ave one a those, kudasai.” He pointed at the menu and the bartender nodded.

“Make it six,” said Will, holding up his left hand with the five fingers splayed wide and his right index finger held vertically across its palm. “My treat, mates.”

“Roku, hai,” acknowledged the bartender.

The bar was staffed by three terrifyingly efficient men, and their drinks arrived quickly. Emma took a sip of hers and grimaced. It was good, but it was strong.

“What the hell is in this?” she demanded.

“Not sure,” said Will. “I think one is absinthe.”

“Isn’t that illegal?” queried Anna.

“Maybe not in Japan,” suggested Graham.

“Absinthe is green,” Killian informed them, holding his drink up to the light. “Famously so. I don’t think there’s anything green in here, this is likely the bluest substance known to man.”

They all laughed and kept sipping, and the more they sipped the louder their laughter grew until the blue beverages were all consumed and Will was asking the bartender for more.

“I don’ think I could drink more,” said Emma, leaning heavily against Killian as the room spun gently around her, not even caring about the sharp look Anna shot her as she clutched the sleeve of his suit jacket. She liked Anna, very much, and whenever they were alone the other woman was friendliness itself but as far as very-pleasantly-buzzed Emma was concerned, she needed either to say she wanted Killian or not say it, but all these little wordless glares whenever Emma was close to him were starting to get tiresome.

Especially as Emma had every intention of getting much closer to him before the night was done.

Will was arguing with the bartender who refused to make them more blue drinks, offering them every other colour on the menu, and Graham was trying to intervene. Smee was watching them with his habitual slightly vague expression and Anna was pretending to watch while actually keeping her eyes on Emma as she laid her head on Killian’s shoulder and his arm snuck around her waist.

“All right, Swan?” he murmured.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I feel good.”

It was one of the nicest buzzes she’d ever had, in fact. She felt light and loose and carefree, but not confused or out of control. Like she was floating on a marshmallow or rolling on a cloud of cotton candy.

She giggled, which was not like her, nor was the whimsy. But maybe both were what she needed tonight, she thought.

Will clapped his hands triumphantly as he won his argument with the bartender, who agreed to make them one more blue drink.

“Have at it, lads,” Will said, offering the drink around the group. Emma took a large swig then passed it to Killian, who did the same. She swayed as the added alcohol hit her, and now the cotton candy was in her brain, clouding her thoughts and sweetening them. She tugged on the lapels of Killian’s jacket.

“Let’s go somewhere,” she said, hoping the words didn’t sound as slurred as they did in her head.

He looked down at her, his eyes glassy but intensely focused.

“Where?” he asked.

“Somewhere. Anywhere. Just— take me somewhere.”

His eyes widened as he caught her meaning, then dropped to her lips and he swallowed hard. She swayed towards him but the room was far too bright and too full of their friends for what they both wanted.

He cleared his throat. “Are you sure, love?” he asked. “We’ve had a lot to drink—”

“I’m sure.”

He nodded, eyes still on her lips. “Yours?”

Emma struggled to think. Did Mulan and Aurora still work tonight, or— but it really didn’t matter because she wasn’t about to bring Killian to her place if there was any chance of Aurora being present. “No, my roommates are home,” she said.

“Is that a problem?”

“We have shoji doors, they are literally made of paper.”

“Ah. Well mine has normal doors but my flatmate is having a party.”

Emma wanted to snarl in frustration. How did other people do this when there was no privacy in this country?

Then she remembered how, from the whispers of other teachers and the blasé tales of her students.

“What about a love hotel?”

Killian’s eyes finally left her lips and he stared at her. “Really?”

“Oh, come on, like you haven’t wondered what they were like,” she teased.

“I have definitely wondered, but—”

“There’s one just down the street isn’t there?”

“Emma, let’s think about this.”

“I don’t want to think.” She clutched his lapels again, pressing her body as close to his as it could get, close enough that their breaths mingled, that she could feel the catch in his against her cheek. So close that half an inch was all that stood between them and the kiss they had both been craving for a week. For longer.

Well, that half inch and four very rowdy drunken English teachers and a glaringly bright Japanese bar.

“I just want to be alone with you,” whispered Emma. “Just you and me somewhere with a door that locks and where no one cares what we do.” She released him abruptly and stepped back, towards the door, grabbing his hand from around her waist and giving it a tug. “I don’t care if it’s tacky, that’ll be part of the fun. C’mon. I’ll pay.”

“You absolutely will not,” said Killian, and she knew she had him. He glanced around them and seeing no one was looking wrapped his arm around her waist again and steered her to the door. “Let’s go.”

They stumbled out into the bustling night, just drunk enough to make the flashing neon seem softly romantic. Killian held her close against his side, his arm firm around her waist, and she slid her hand into the back pocket of his trousers. A wild giggle rose in her throat as she realised they must look like the sort of couple people shouted at to get a room.

And that was exactly what they were going to do.

The lobby of the love hotel was surprisingly elegant, with soft lighting and dark-wood panelling along the clean lines and sharp angles of the room. A smiling woman stood behind a large wooden desk in the far corner. She said something in rapid Japanese and Emma struggled to pick out any of the words she knew.

Killian replied, also in Japanese.

What the fuck, thought Emma, gaping at him, wondering if she were drunker than she’d thought.

He shot her a slightly sheepish look as the woman began to tap on her computer. “I’ve been taking lessons,” he said.

So had Emma, but she wasn’t anywhere near that good.

Though her body was still thrumming with excitement she began to feel a bit awkward as Killian and the still-smiling woman arranged their room. There was only one reason people went to love hotels, the clue was quite literally in the name, and despite the fact that this was the woman’s job it felt weird to think that she knew what Emma and Killian were there to do.

Killian caught the look on her face and squeezed her hand. “You can back out any time, love,” he said. “No hard feelings.”

She shook her head, and returned his squeeze. “No. I want to do this.”

He smiled and the look in his eyes made her belly quiver.

The smiling woman handed Killian a key and a pamphlet and pointed them in the direction of the elevator with an elegant hand wave and a series of bows.

“Come on, then, Swan,” he said, flipping through the pamphlet. “We’re on the twelfth floor.”

“There are twelve floors to this place?”

“More, even, I think.”

They got in the elevator, which was as dimly lit as the lobby. The darkness made it easier to slide close to him again and press her cheek against his chest as he kissed her hair.

She supposed that was the point.

After the tasteful elegance of the hotel’s entrance and elevator, the sight of their room had them stopping dead in the doorway, gaping in shock. This, thought Emma. This is what I was expecting. The commitment to the theme was impressive.

The room was large, with gently curving walls and tall, blacked-out windows, but what really drew the eye were the hearts. Heart shaped pillows of varying sizes and hues of pink and red cluttered the heart-shaped bed with its heart shaped headboard, over which hung a heart-shaped mirror framed in sparkly red hearts. The walls were striped with lines of fuchsia hearts and in the corner sat a small table, square but lacquered in black with bright red hearts and accompanied by two matching chairs, with heart-shaped backs.

Emma tried to swallow her hysterical giggles but then she caught Killian’s eye. He was biting the inside of his cheek and when she widened her eyes at him they both burst into laughter.

“This is brilliant,” said Killian, after they had caught their breath again. “It’s everything I hoped it would be.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” she agreed, and they both knew they weren’t just talking about the room.

Their laughter had dissipated the awkwardness leaving only the insistent pull of sexual tension, and when Emma hooked her fingers under the waistband of his trousers and pulled him closer she could feel the pounding of his heart and the heat of his gaze burning into her as she slid her hand into his hair.

“I’m feeling more sober now,” she whispered.

“Is that bad?”

“Exactly the opposite. I want to remember this.”

“So do I.”

She pulled his mouth down to hers and stood on her toes to meet it halfway as his arms wrapped tightly around her. Their lips met softly at first and then harder, and Emma’s head began to spin again as she opened her mouth and his tongue stroked hers, soft and wet and warm and tasting faintly of alcohol. He kissed her firmly and with obvious skill but let her take the lead, responding to her cues and adapting to her pace, and for the first time ever she felt like kissing was something being done with her rather than to her, and for Emma this was a revelation.

Soon she was breathless and barely able to stay standing on her shaky legs. She leaned against Killian, wrapping her arms around his neck as he lifted her just off her feet and walked them over to the bed, lowering her gently onto the pile of heart pillows and following her down without breaking their kiss. He unbuttoned her shirt slowly, letting his fingertips trail along each newly revealed inch of skin until every last button was undone and she practically ripped the shirt away, desperate for more of his hands on her.

They pulled apart just long enough for her to yank off her bra and toss it away and for him to remove his own shirt, heedless of its buttons, and when they came back together she moaned at the rough sensation of his chest hair against her nipples. It felt amazing, his skin against hers felt amazing, and the hard press of his cock between her legs made her heart race and her fingers tremble in anticipation. She bucked her hips against him and he groaned into her mouth.

He tugged at the waistband of her trousers. “Get these off,” he growled, as with his other hand he began to undo his belt. Emma shimmied out of her pants and underwear, too eager to feel all of him against her to be anything like self-conscious. When they were both naked he paused, taking her in, then reached out a trembling hand to trace the contours of her breast and waist and hip with the tips of his fingers.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he said, almost in a whisper. “I can’t believe—”

“What?” she whispered back.

“I can’t believe I’m here with you. This is like a dream.”

She knew exactly how he felt.

“You’re beautiful too,” she said, trailing her own fingertips over his chest and down his abs, stopping just shy of his cock. He caught his breath, the blue of his eyes almost lost to black, but managed a smirk.

“Devilishly handsome, I think you’ll find, Swan.”

She laughed. “That too.”

He pulled her back into his arms, running his hand down her back to press her as close as he could, curving it around her ass to pull her hips into his. She gasped, rocking against the hard swell of cock, desperate to feel it inside her, when she was struck by a terrible thought. “Wait,” she panted, pushing against his shoulders. “Do you have a condom?”

Killian pulled back, panting himself. “No. But the love hotel provides.” He leaned across her and pressed a button on the side of the headboard. A small drawer popped open, from which he withdrew a strip of six condoms, smirking at her as he brandished them.

“Ambitious,” remarked Emma.

“Aye, perhaps, but I do love a challenge.”

He waggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed. “How did you know those were there?”

“It’s in the brochure.”

“When did you—” she began, but he cut her off with his mouth on hers and his hand sliding up the inside of her thigh, making her gasp against his lips.

“Hush, now, love, remember we have six condoms to use before two o’clock this afternoon, we need to stay focused.”

Her chuckle became a strangled moan as his fingers stroked through her slick flesh, finding her clit with impressive speed and accuracy. He pressed it lightly with his thumb and then began to rub gentle circles around it.

“Oh my God,” she gasped, half expecting him to reply with some quip about how just Killian would do, but he was too intent on watching her reactions to his touch. She could almost see him cataloguing what she liked, thinking vaguely that she should feel uncomfortable being the centre of such focused attention, but then he increased the pressure of his thumb and slipped a finger inside her and she forgot to think at all.

She arched her back, pressing her core against his hand and her head back against the pillows as her hands clutched at them. She wanted to watch him as he watched her; the intensity of his focus and determination to please her turned her on as much as anything about him did, but her eyes refused to stay open, fluttering closed as the heady sensations built and intensified and then her orgasm burst over her and she actually screamed.

Killian continued to stroke her until she opened her eyes then withdrew his hand, resting it on her hip as he propped his head on the other one, watching her with an expression that managed to be both soft and smug.

“You,” she panted, “are looking awfully pleased with yourself.”

His smirk deepened. “Well, darling, I did just make you scream.”

She gave his shoulder a sharp shove, toppling him onto his back and quickly swinging her leg over to straddle him. “Let’s see who screams next,” she said.

He cupped her breast, thumbnail flicking across her nipple and she tried to stifle her gasp, without success. He licked his lower lip, slowly. “You’re on, love,” he growled.

Damn it, thought Emma, she was fully turned on again, ready to go.

“Where’s the damn condoms?” she snarled, snatching them from his hand when he held them up. Ripping the first one from its packet she quickly rolled it down his length, following it with her body as he pulled her close to take her nipple in his mouth.

“Fuck,” she moaned as twin bolts of pleasure shot through her from her breast and her core. “Fuck.”

“That’s the idea,” murmured Killian against her skin. He gave her ass a light slap. “Get on with it, then. I thought you were going to make me scream.”

Emma resisted the urge to smack him, instead lifting her hips and slamming them down, taking him deep, triumphant when he groaned and the hand on her ass gripped her hard. She braced her hands on either side of his head and concentrated on finding a rhythm, taking him as deep as she could and watching him as closely as he had her, trying to memorise what he liked best.

There seemed to be nothing he didn’t like, and soon he was thrusting up to meet her, fingers digging bruises into her flesh as she leaned on one hand and dragged her fingernails down his chest. When she flicked his nipple as he had done hers, he made a noise she’d never heard before and flipped them over, lifting her knee up to to her chest and plunging back into her deeper than before.

Emma no longer cared about the noises she herself was making; she was lost to everything but him, to the delicious friction of his cock inside her and his chest hair against her nipples, the softness of his lips on her neck. She’d had no idea sex could feel like this, like she was coming apart but also more whole than she’d ever been, her body incandescent with sensations that were almost more than she could bear. When she came it caught her by surprise, bursting from her core and flooding her with pleasure to the very tips of her fingers and toes. She gripped Killian’s forearm, nails digging into his skin as she clenched around him and he moaned her name as he came.

He collapsed and tried to roll away but she held on, wanting his weight on her for a few moments longer. He let his head fall against her neck and she could feel his breath ruffling the fine hairs on her nape as she sank her fingers into his own hair, damp with sweat, and as her senses slowly returned she tried not to worry about how not awkward this whole thing felt.

Even with Neal she’d always been awkward after sex, and she’d known him for years before sleeping with him. The whole business of being naked with someone once the urge to fuck had gone made her feel far too vulnerable, to say nothing of the messy cleanup and the general damp stickiness of it all. She generally escaped as quickly as she could and went to take a shower.

But with Killian not only didn’t she want to run she actually wanted to cuddle. His hand was moving up and down her hip in a touch more soothing than sensual, in time with her fingers sifting through his silky hair and it was… nice. Comfortable and sweet and lovely and she had no idea why this didn’t scare her.

Eventually he turned his head and nuzzled her cheek, kissing it lightly before pulling out of her, careful not to lose the condom. He went to dispose of it and she stretched luxuriantly, ogling his ass as he went.

“I could really use a shower,” she remarked.

“There’s a tub in here,” Killian called from the bathroom. “A big one.”

He poked his head out of the doorway, his expression at once challenging and shyly hopeful. “We could both fit,” he said.

What the hell, thought Emma. She’d already blown up all her old rules and boundaries with him, and she wasn’t about to run off until they’d had at least one more round, so why not take a bath together? She pictured him flushed and damp and looking at her in that way he had that made her feel cherished.

“Is it heart shaped?” she joked.

He laughed. “No. A missed opportunity there, really.”

“Oh well. Let’s use it anyway.”

His face lit up before disappearing back around the doorframe, and a moment later she heard the sound of water running.

“There are some bubbles though,” he called out. “In a heart shaped bottle.”

“Good enough,” laughed Emma. “Put ‘em in!”

She rolled off the bed and sauntered into the bathroom. Maybe it was the residual effect of the blue drink, maybe the fact that she was still buzzing from the best sex of her life, or maybe it was just the way Killian looked at her, but Emma was feeling bold and sexy, and when she appeared in the bathroom doorway and his eyes darkened as they travelled slowly down her naked form that feeling only intensified.

“You’re stunning,” he said.

She grinned. “So are you. Are we gonna do this again?”

“I know by ‘this’ you mean ‘trade compliments,’ but I’m going to ignore that and say hell yes we are but let’s have a bath first.”

“Good call,” she said, and stepped into the warm water. The bubbles smelled like roses and she sighed in bliss, and when Killian got in behind her and pulled her against him she snuggled into him with a sigh of a different sort, feeling happier than she could remember being since that dark, tragic night when she was twelve years old.

NOTES: For anyone unfamiliar with love hotels, they are basically just hotels that are designed to be places for people to go to have sex. They are not specifically for prostitution, though they can be used that way, but more for couples who just need some privacy in a very densely populated country with thin walls. In many traditional Japanese homes the sleeping space and the living space is the same space, and people just roll up their futons and put them in closets during the day, plus extended families often live together, so you can imagine it's hard even for married couples to find any space to be alone. They're not all heart-themed, but many have other themes like anime or S&M, and increasingly they are getting rid of the themes entirely.

You can read more here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_hotel

#cs fic #cs ff #cs ff au #captain swan #japan #english teachers #non magic au #friends to lovers #smut #fluff #smuff for days #there will be angst #but first the fluff #and japanese expat life #profdanglaisstuff #Osaka-shi Serenade

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maddie-grove · 4 years

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The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff.

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster.

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind), does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart.

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all.

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story).

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

#books #reading #top twenty

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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In Orbit Around the Same Star (Biadore) - doctor bitchcraftt

Anonymous prompt - Adore finally realizes she wants Bianca and stops sleeping around; Bianca accepts what she’s been trying to run from, that she’s always loved Adore.

A/N: This one took more out of me than I thought it would when I sat down to write it; it stays just inside the boundary of my canon-compliant writing rules. Quote cited is from an actual interview with Bianca. Serious introspection, feelings, and a whole lot of love. Xoxoxoxo, bitchcraftt

Read on AO3

********

She’s going to be thirty this year.

It’s…very that.

She used to think that her life began with Idol, but really, it started at twenty three when she walked into the workroom, and skyrocketed at twenty four when Adore Delano eclipsed Danny Noriega.

Her twenties were filled with partying hard, thrilled by running reckless. Sometimes too hard and too wild, because she couldn’t stop to think about that or why and what she was running from.

She thinks about Michelle holding her together by the thinnest threads in Europe, when her own mother would have been horrified by her behavior. Some of it’s hazy, and some of it she can’t remember at all. She tries not to think about how badly it could have ended.

Adore knows how incredibly lucky she is to not have caused any permanent damage (she’s carefree but never careless when someone else is intimately involved).

She also knows that it’s due in a large part to having people who reeled her in, anchored her when she started to (or did) go too far.

She thinks about her sisters, the closest members of her drag family (and honestly, real family now). Considers the three people constantly speaking across thousands of miles, texting good morning from wherever they are in the world that day. Three people who have her back even when she’s in the wrong - and oh, do they let her know it privately - and who she can count on to rescue her from herself.

********

Bianca is, if nothing else, exceedingly self-aware. Painfully so, even, about things like her need to be in control, to grasp onto order instead of chaos.

“I like work because that’s the only thing I have control of," she told an interviewer back in 2015, answering a question about what she valued most in life. "I can’t be in control of anything else. I can’t control if I’m in a relationship, I can’t control when someone dies, but I can control my work ethic and keep plowing and going through it."

She (aside from a few notable exceptions) has always lived life carefully, weighing outcomes and consequences and never risking more than she thought she could lose. Always kept faithfully to her commitments, even at the cost of too little sleep and no time for anything besides work. Always been the steady, reliable one that her friends know they can turn to when their own lives are in disarray for a sarcastic comment followed by deep compassion.

********

Adore is beyond grateful for being able to lean on Bianca’s strength when she doesn’t trust her own.

Bianca, so grounded in who she (and he) is that she has no problem helping others. Giving and kind to strangers and acquaintances alike, the first to lend her makeup and earrings to other queens, to fix a wig or a torn seam, greeting fans with a smile and always willing to take a photo.

Honest and sharp, but never cruel or unnecessary with her criticism.

Bianca, who doesn’t think twice about offering to pay for things her friends need (Adore’s hair, Jiggly’s teeth), not to flaunt her wealth but because her bank account isn’t as important as her friends’ health and happiness.

Bianca, whose door is always open no matter the time of night or day or the space beyond midnight but before dawn. Who lets Adore wake her up with a phone call or drunken knocking, lets her cling to her unshakable steadiness, listens no matter how ridiculous or cringe worthy the subject.

Bianca, the brilliant comic who laughs at all of her jokes, even when they’re not actually funny. Her surprisingly high-pitched giggles and wicked cackle are wonderful, and earning a full body, head thrown back laugh always feels like an accomplishment.

She’s never demanded anything in return, not for her corset and not for her time. Doesn’t even seem comfortable with being thanked, as if she feels like the things she does are a matter of course and she’s just paying it forward.

(The corset is still in Adore’s closet, together with her black sequined finale dress.)

Bianca, who would give and give of herself until she’s exhausted because she can’t not help. Who would drop everything if Adore or Courtney or so many other of their sisters was in need.

Her capacity to love is deeper than anyone else Adore has ever met, even if it’s cloaked in pithy comments and exasperated eyerolls.

********

Bianca has said time and again that winning Drag Race at thirty eight meant something completely different than if she had been twenty. Some days even thirty five feels ridiculously far away, when so much has changed since. She’s gone from trying to keep a crowd’s attention in nightclubs to sold out stages worldwide with fans who only speak a little bit of English wildly chanting her name, unable to even go to Starbucks without someone recognizing her face.

More than anything else, Drag Race taught her that even she still had room to grow and learn.

Before the workroom, she would have laughed outright if anyone had told her she would become the closest of friends with someone almost a decade and a half younger. She’s watched Adore live her life intensely, sometimes recklessly, sometimes without considering what could happen. Has helped pick up the pieces when it went wrong. Learned that the hardest thing sometimes is to let her, because it’s not fair to take the experiences or decisions away.

The most striking thing is that despite being at very different stages of life, despite the occasionally naive and overconfident blunders, Adore fits neatly into all of the places that were empty before, including the things she didn’t even realize were missing. She’s a juxtaposition of mercurial mood and rebellious nature with a very old soul whose depth sometimes leaves Bianca speechless. Fearless and fun, and busy dragging everyone else in along with her.

Before Adore, she thinks she almost forgot what it was like to live in the moment, too busy staying busy to ever slow down.

********

Adore thinks about how they gravitate towards each other when they’re both in the same place. Looks at photos of them holding hands or hugging on stage, and realizes that it feels so natural she doesn’t even notice . She thinks about how they constantly stay in physical contact, never any concept of personal space between them and never aware of its absence.

Bianca gives the best hugs because she uses her whole body. Hugs that remind and constantly surprise Adore with how much strength is in her deceptively slim build.

If she closes her eyes when Bianca’s arms are around her, she can feel the energy of a contained tidal wave, a force of nature that, once its path is clear, stops for nothing. And in the face of that power, she never feels anything but safe.

********

Bianca is tactile herself (even if she denies it on stage) and understands the need for touch. She doesn’t shy away from reaching for a fan’s hand or giving hugs, because she’s still a little in awe that all of that energy and excitement is for her.

Physical affection for her friends is so much a part of her that she doesn’t even register it half the time, sharing seats in clubs or lounging together on a hotel bed to read texts. It’s even more pronounced with Adore, always seeking out the other’s warmth and stability, two planets in orbit around the same star.

********

Adore loves Bianca’s sharp tongue and intelligence, how she can look at a piece of fabric and already know exactly what she’ll make out of it.

Loves how she carries herself in a gown, how her makeup is over the top and the skill it takes to paint that way.

Loves her work ethic and dedication to the craft.

Loves how she can command a stage and the rapt attention of thousands.

Loves her self-deprecation while insisting that Bianca Del Rio isn’t meant to be beautiful or sexy, when she manages to do both.

********

Bianca has loved Adore for years.

It’s neither unexpected nor something she’s ashamed of; Adore is ridiculously easy to love.

People the world over have fallen for her expressive eyes and unceasing energy, her relatable manner of speaking liberally sprinkled with expletives, her wide smile and captivating voice. Listening to her sing, wrapping her voice around each word, is hypnotic and even Bianca catches herself caught under her spell.

She probably (definitely) loves Adore a little more than the rest of her sisters, a fact that isn’t lost on their friends (or legions of fans, apparently).

********

Adore has always been a little in love with Bianca.

She’s referred to her more than once as the love of her life, in complete seriousness no matter how many hashtags follow the statement.

She thinks a lot about how Bianca looks out for her, calls her “my angel” and “my love”. Is afraid to believe that it’s any different than the way Bianca loves and touches her other friends. Worse, she worries that her jokes about their age difference and playing up their quasi mother-daughter relationship means Bianca will only ever think of Adore as a (her) child.

********

She’s always going to try to take care of Adore, the same as with any of her friends. There’s definitely the slightly maternal aspect of watching her grow as both a queen and a person. But she’s also always going to see her as more than just an adopted drag daughter.

It’s complicated.

She worries that Adore is serious when she tells fans, "Bianca is like my second mom." Worries that she’ll always be only the protective shoulder to cry on and give advice, the friend to go out to the club with, a beloved older sibling but never to love.

Watching Adore asleep beside her, and Courtney and Darienne across the way on the other bed in her London hotel room, she isn’t sure why that thought bothers her so much. Not when the peaceful sense of stillness is lulling her into slumber.

She thinks about the age difference, how sometimes it’s painfully obvious that Adore isn’t settled into who she is and where she’s going yet. Thinks about how it took most of her thirties before she met a twenty three year old queen with three wigs, clearance special dresses, and a passion for life that reminded her how much she’d walled herself off.

Adore is turning thirty this year, and Bianca is on the wrong side of forty.

********

Adore isn’t sure how to manage love on its own, not this kind. In her world, love beyond family has always been connected to sex - passionate, out of this world hot or intensely sweet or comfortably intimate. And sex by itself is easy, is fun, no feelings other than a mutual interest in wringing as much pleasure as possible from the encounter, sharing the thrill and comfort of touch.

Loving someone so deeply without an intimate physical relationship is completely different, never mind that it’s tangled up in what’s probably one of the most profound relationships of her life.

Adore hasn’t done commitment lately because she doesn’t want even the slightest urge to be unfaithful if her attention wanders. It’s not that she wouldn’t give up her bed-hopping; it’s just that everyone is so unique, so many beautiful opportunities to discover someone new, that it would be unfair to promise something she can’t keep. She doesn’t want to burn down relationships, has tried the long distance thing, but being on separate continents was too difficult even with FaceTime and Skype and phone calls.

********

Bianca thinks about Adore casually kissing fans, kissing Courtney thank you for fixing a stray bobby pin, pouting together at the camera with their faces pressed close. Thinks about how in all of the years, Adore has never kissed her on the mouth even as a joke no matter how much her inhibitions have been lowered.

She wonders if Adore knows what it does to her stomach sometimes when she climbs into her bed for drunken snuggles, handsy and loose-limbed. Hates the twinge of guilt when she enjoys holding her after she passes out draped over her whole body.

********

The thing is, Adore knows she would give up casual sex for Bianca. At least she thinks she could, would try harder than for anyone else.

Although it’s possible that they wouldn’t be compatible sexually, Adore dismisses that idea immediately. Dick jokes aside, all of that focused attention would be overwhelming in the best possible way regardless of the activity. If she’s amazing as a friend, Adore is positive that Bianca would be (is) a generous and dedicated lover, committed to her (his) partner’s satisfaction.

The problem is, it could never ever be uncomplicated for them.

It’s not as simple as taking each other to bed when they’ve shared the covers on multiple occasions for years. Often enough to fit their limbs together easily, Adore’s head on her shoulder, long enough that she knows exactly what Bianca sounds like when she snores.

There’s no way that they could write it off as just a fuck between friends. Adore falls hard and fast when she lets herself, and with Bianca who’s already seen her at her worst and still loves her…

Bianca calls her fearless. In ninety-nine percent of situations, that’s definitely the case, even when it’s unwise. This though? Adore won’t risk losing what they have now to take a chance on something that could very well destroy them both.

It’s not the thought of asking for a relationship that scares her. It’s the possibility that Bianca isn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t be interested in her that way. Or most devastatingly, the possibility that it would work for a while but ultimately fail.

She doesn’t want to think about no longer being able to casually hold hands, of bringing awkwardness to the space between them. Can’t imagine Bianca not letting her cuddle close or the easy afternoons spent together in comfortable silence. Feels her stomach clench considering what it would be like to lose the open invitation to share Bianca’s space.

More than any danger to herself, she’s absolutely terrified of what she could do to Bianca. Bianca, who commits to the things she deems worthy with intensity and complete seriousness. Who pours her entire heart into loving someone (she’s seen it). Adore is acutely aware of how easy it would be to hurt her (hurt him). And Bianca would let her, might even forgive her, but Adore would never forgive herself.

She’s never wanted to cause pain to past boyfriends, but that’s nothing in comparison.

Adore doesn’t ever want their relationship to become something she has to write songs about, trying to excise the pain of loss.

Bianca always says she’s gotten serious relationships out of her system, but what Adore knows she means is that she doesn’t have the time and energy to learn someone new, not with her work commitments.

She thinks about how Bianca is constantly in motion, always working, ready to move onto the next project. Thinks that maybe it means she’s running away from something too, but can’t imagine what she could ever be afraid of.

********

Bianca has been in a little bit in love with Adore for years, even if she was barely willing to admit it in the privacy of her own thoughts.

They’re not the type of friends who could add sex as just another benefit, because all of the other aspects of the relationship so far outweigh getting off together that sex doesn’t even feel like it’s missing. As far as Bianca can tell, the two of them are closer than most couples she knows precisely because there isn’t fucking involved.

She’s told interviewers that she doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, that no one would put up with her constant traveling.

She’s also made red-eye flight detours to see Adore when their engagements have taken them to different parts of the world.

Bianca is very conscious of her focus on things she commits to. If she’s going to do something, anything, she (he) is going to do it right.

Paying careful attention to every small detail of her drag from hairline to padding and cinching and deliberate costume design, even as she’s creating an exaggerated female presence.

Organizing her supplies the same way every time so that she’s never the queen who forgets something.

Spoiling and surprising her friends, because they matter.

Loving Adore.

********

Adore isn’t ready to tell Bianca, not yet. Their friendship is more than enough. And really, she thinks Bianca probably already knows, the same way she knows everything else about her.

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #canon compliant #doctor bitchcraftt

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augujerdeer · 4 years

Note

Can you share some random facts about yourselves? :3

Huh, sure! So I thought maybe everyone can type out their own thing besides us writing for them, so it’ll be fun! If it takes a while to answer now you know why - Peter

Peter

I’m a big fan of iron man I GUESS but that might be obvious??

I can’t help but call people Miss or Mister and it just feels super wrong not to unless they tell me they really don’t want me doing that (so I kind of slip up at front...)

I actually have a Benjamin in my name- I don’t know if that’s different from my source?

I like doodling! Even if it’s not great

Apparently, an IRL friend told us that they know it’s me at front because my voice is more boyish and I move my hands a lot when I’m discussing something Im really into! (math or science!)

Post-endgame :^(

In charge of the math n science parts of school!!!!!

Kris

Described as “talks like a surfer dude sometimes”

I NEVER stop talking like- I’m sure every1 calls me annying GSGGSDHDJJ. Like if ur gnna b my friend get rdy 4 me 2 y’all a LOT.....,,,

Ab- abandonment issues lol

I’m so gay (bi) im yeARNiNg

When the sys needs 2 b physclly active or social my “job” is 2 come out- but I’m not forced 2 ! I just get laaazeeey

In charge of the art classes n PE UWU

I’m also sometimes called plan B but I don’t like being that HSGSHE (see Sal)

I like learning ASL!! Except I don’t live in America SO I’m also trying 2 study FSL (Filipino sign language) n it seems so FUN N FAST AAAA

I wanted 2 study ASL bc som1 suggested 2 me that mayb I cld learn sign language bc b4, I used 2 h8 talking, n I was super shy n very NONVERBAL like, a lot

Chara

They have a very strict aura, described by friends- it’s a dark presence or aura, especially because of their posture and how they talk (which is exactly how they type!)

We’re not sure why, but because of how they formally talk, they start slipping into a sort of formal-British-accent while speaking sometimes even if they don’t have one inspace

Gatekeeper n protector! Butvthey cna exhaust themselves sm that fun factvthey collapse or fall face first in2 the floor n pass out inspace

They have a few negative fronting triggers but 1 of them is rlly sad n INSTANT like, we do not have a choice, but e can’t stop it, if that trigger appears, Chara w/o fail comes out :^( (luckily it’s never happened often but we r worried abt ppl pulling pranks n doing this bc it’s a common prank 2 do)

Sal

He has a hard time walking outsoace unless he focuses rlly hard or wear heels

Which also means when he front his vision is slightly impaired?? He is missing an eye so I g the body dissociates enough 2 ALMOST simul8 that???? He has crashed in 2 so many poles or stopped walking bc he think hes gnna crash in2 smth but turns out it’s rlly far away

He age slides from 15-22! He’s not canon dIvergent— I think none on us r actlly

In charge of art classes part 2

Some of us call Sal Plan B bc if he whole main circle is not ok, he’s the person in the main circle who takes up “temporary host” (so if me n Chara or peter aren’t arnd - Kris)

Is rlly self conscious abt his face even when in the body but he’s working on it!! He’d rather not eat in public bc is wld mean removing the face mask he will wear 2 school

We cosplayed as him 4 Halloween 2 school n he was out all day n had fun :^)

Crowley

He has a flat inspace but we’re not allwd 2 c it?? We don’t kno where itbis but we WNNA find it

He’s POST good omens so he has memories of stuff that happened after the show ended (the brain likes writing edgy fanfics :^( ) (it’s a sensitive subject for him but when he talks abt it he tries 2 and chill when he’s not)

Adopted peter n he hates admitting it but he’s 1 of peters dads now n even calls peter son by acc

When he fronts he used 2 gave a strong accent that the body makes t and like a RLLY bad copy of an English acc Jbshsbsnbssbjssh butbhes gotten better!!

Toriel

Her fronting trigger turns it 2 b caring 4 ppl outside! She c’s every1 as younger than her so she aitomaticlly adopts them

She’s mid-Undertale! She’s NOT my canonmate (I’m kris Deltarune) she’s litrlly Chara’s canonmate but from an earlier period (Chara is post post post post infinity Undertale genocide on a loop)

Spinel

She actlly RLLY does have 2-3 forms (happy Spinel, and angry Spinel- when she’s in the middles she’s in angry form but like not yelling sgafgssg) her happy Spinel form/mode is her w the heart hair from the pat n her angry form is her in the ending w the crying mascara n stuff

She’s post-movie so she has vague memories of being in home world w the diamonds

Jamie

is sometimes just her furry inspace,,,, is uslly her fursona inspace,,,,

Jade

Apparently she’s from 2014??????????????????????

She has a past life n her bro actlly came a month after she “came back from dormancy”

It’s rlly weird n even she dsnt understand

Toby

Rlly strong English accent when fronting :^( has never done it more than once but inspace his accent is very baby and very strong

Aco

We dk y but he considers himself a protector 2 where he even comes out when he thinks we r in specific types of danger :^(

He’s nonverbal in front but talkative inside!!! He has a face plush which is a webkinz!

#fictives #headspace #headmates #about us #spinel #su #steven universe #mcu #chara #undertale #kris #deltarune #crowley #good omens #ask #anon #peter #journaling #toriel #aco #toby #jamie

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girls-scenarios · 5 years

Text

I Want to Be Your (Girl)Friend (Chapter 1)

Idols: Haseul and Vivi (Loona)

Prompt: Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. College!AU

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I love Viseul and I had this idea pop into my head while waiting for my coffee at the library cafe. It also ended up getting very, very long, so I’m splitting it into two chapters (Tumblr please don’t mess with this post). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and I’ll be posting more requests soon!

AO3 AFF ♡ Tip Jar♡

Haseul has always considered herself a capable woman. Really, there isn’t much that she can’t do if she puts her mind to it. She’s never had too much trouble with school (although her dissertation is starting to challenge that) and she’s good at her job as a librarian, even if she didn’t major in research. She can almost always help when other students come to her with questions, and if she can’t help, she’ll get someone who can. She’s likable, makes friends quick, and adopts any younger friends even quicker. There’s only one thing that she isn’t good at: flirting.

It isn’t like she’s never had any experience with flirting. She had a boyfriend or two in high school, and a girlfriend during her freshman year of college. But all three of them were people she’d known as friends before they started dating, and it had been a while since she’d been romantic with anyone at all, because going to school and having about ten adopted children tends to prevent that from happening.

“We aren’t kids, Haseul,” Sooyoung says when Haseul confides in her, narrowing her eyes. True, Sooyoung is actually a little bit older than her. But that doesn’t mean that she acts older.

“Just last week, you called me crying because you were drunk and dropped your sandwich while you were trying to get back to your laptop to write your essay. You’re a child, Sooyoung.”

“Whatever, that’s just called being a stressed out college student. Sometimes you just have to get drunk, drop your sandwich, and cry it out.”

“I’ve never done that,” Haseul points out, and the other girl shrugs.

“Maybe that’s just because you’re boring. How long has it been since you’ve been to a party?”

“A… while, but that’s not because I’m lame. I get invited to plenty of them, I just don’t have the time to go. Being a biology major isn’t easy, you know. Especially when you have an English minor and about twenty essays to write.”

Sooyoung at least has the decency to look a bit regretful of her accusation of Haseul’s lameness (although this is Sooyoung, she never feels sorry for long). “Okay, you have a point. But still. You just need to get out there more. Talk to some hot people. Flirt a little. Build your game. It’s not that hard.”

“Says the notorious flirt.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad anymore, I have a girlfriend!”

“Just the other day I saw you flirting with Jinsol.”

“It was a joke, Haseul.”

“If you girls are going to do nothing but talk, you might as well go on your break, Haseul.” Her boss Amber’s voice sounds from behind her, and she turns to give the older girl a sheepish smile, but Amber just waves it off. She never really gets mad (except for that one time a kid named Chan spilled coffee all over the periodicals, but that’s different) so Haseul knows she isn’t in trouble. “Just get me a coffee from the café on your way back, yeah? I’m bar-coding all the new books for the semester and my head hurts.”

“Will do, thanks Amber,” Haseul says, giving her a boss a thumbs-up before she turns back to Sooyoung. “I’ll be right back. Let me clock out.”

It isn’t until she’s back on the floor without her badge that she realizes: she’s going to have to go to the café. The thought makes her freeze a bit, and Sooyoung eyes her suspiciously.

“You good there, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just remembered something.”

“Okay cool. Let’s go because I want a coffee too.” She shifts her backpack on her shoulder as she turns away, oblivious to Haseul’s inner struggle. After a moment of psyching herself up, she swallows and catches up to her best friend, shoving her hands into her pockets and hoping that Kahei wasn’t working today.

Unfortunately, pale pink hair can be seen from behind the counter as soon as they walk in, and Haseul feels her stomach flip. She’s here today. Of course she is. Kahei works just as much as Haseul, and they seem to have the same schedule. Haseul has seen her there a hundred times, from passing to get to work, or coming in to grab Amber and herself some coffee. But somehow the butterflies never go away, and she can feel herself getting nervous as Sooyoung leads her up to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get started for you guys?” Kahei’s voice is soft as ever, barely audible over the music playing from behind the counter, and Haseul’s heart jumps.

“I’m going to have a caramel macchiato, please. Put as many shots in as you can, I have to study soon.” Sooyoung gives Kahei one of her playful smiles, and Kahei laughs.

“I get that, good luck with your studies.”

“Thank you! Good luck with yours too.” Sooyoung is smooth, even without realizing it, so it isn’t a surprise that Kahei likes her right away. Haseul still feels a pang of jealousy at how easy the two talk.

“And for you?” That soft voice is directed her way and she feels her throat close up a bit, making her stutter for a moment.

“O-oh, um, just a cold brew, please.”

“Of course. Do you want your usual vanilla sweetener added?” Her eyes widen. Kahei has her order memorized?

“Yes, please.”

“And is Amber getting anything today?” Oh, yeah. Amber is here much more often than Haseul, since she usually does the coffee runs. She’s probably mentioned her a few times in passing.

“I’ll be back to get hers before my shift ends, if that’s okay.” She’s proud that she doesn’t stutter again, even if her mouth does feel a little dry.

“That’s okay! I’ll have your drinks ready in a moment.” As Kahei processes the payment and steps away from the counter, Haseul can feel Sooyoung’s eyes drilling holes into the side of her head.

“What was that?” She whispers when the other girl walks over. Haseul tries to act innocent.

“What was what?”

“Jo Haseul? Getting nervous? Stuttering? Who are you? Your face is even pink!”

Groaning, she shoves her friend and rolls her eyes. “Shut up, she might hear you.” That isn’t the right thing for her to say, because Sooyoung’s eyes light up and she looks from Kahei behind the counter to Haseul and then back again, before letting out a low and somehow quiet whistle.

“Wow. So that’s why you were talking about flirting earlier.”

Haseul elbows her as Kahei walks up to the counter, two drinks in hand. “Shut up.”

“Here’s your drinks, girls! I’ll see you again soon!” She gives them a little wave after they take their drinks, and belatedly, Haseul waves back, making Sooyoung snort out a laugh as they walk to a corner table far from the counter.

“I can’t believe what I just saw. This is so good. Wait until the rest of the girls hear about this.”

“I swear to god, Sooyoung, don’t you dare,” Haseul says, but she knows it’s already too late.

“Kahei’s cute. You have good taste. And she was looking at you a lot over her shoulder.”

“You don’t have to pity me,” Haseul mutters, taking a sip of her drink. This is why she never goes on break with her friends. There’s always consequences. “I’m too shy to really talk to her, like, outside of ordering and everything. She’s just too pretty.”

“I have literally never known you to be shy. This is crazy.”

“Surprise? I get shy around people I really like.”

“So you don’t actually like me?” Sooyoung’s voice is playful, but Haseul rolls her eyes again anyway.

“Romantically, dummy.”

“I was trying to make a joke, mom.”

“Whatever. I just. Haven’t had any experience with love or flirting recently and she makes me so nervous I think I’d mess up even if I tried.”

“You should try anyway. She might think it’s cute.”

“I’d rather not embarrass myself like that.” Haseul glances back at the counter, where the girl of her dreams is cleaning the coffee machine. The pink in her hair is fading back to a brown color, but she still looks gorgeous. Especially with her lips pursed in concentration as she scrubs at what must be a stubborn stain. How does she look so good in a polo shirt?

“Staring at her from afar is creepy,” Sooyoung says, kicking Haseul under the table. The younger girl whips her head around to glare at her best friend.

“You know what? I decided not to help you with your essay this weekend after all. Have fun with that.”

“What? No, Haseullie! Please! I can’t do it without you!”

Eventually, her break is almost over, and she steadies herself as she walks back up to the counter, giving Kahei a nervous smile. “I’m back for more.”

“Already?” She lets out a little giggle, and it’s like music to Haseul’s ears. So soft, yet melodic somehow. “Amber’s usual, I assume?” Haseul just nods, suddenly speechless as she watches Kahei key in the drink with those pretty fingers of hers. She’s wearing a new pink ring that Haseul has never seen before, and Haseul has never been the biggest fan of wearing jewelry at work herself (it gets in the way, okay) but it looks cute on her. “Will that be all?”

“Um, yeah, that’s all. Thanks, Kahei.” Maybe it’s just her imagination, but the older girl seems to perk up at the mention of her name.

“You’re welcome, I’ll have that drink up in no time, Haseul!”

Haseul returns to the desk with a slight flush to her cheeks, dropping the coffee off in front of Amber before rushing off to grab her badge, and Sooyoung leans against the counter, watching her go. “She’s so whipped for the girl in the café. It’s funny how red she got when the girl remembered her name.”

“I know, right? I’m trying to set them up right now, but neither of them will make a move,” Amber says, shaking her head with a little laugh. “It’s kind of cute, right?”

Sooyoung grins and holds out her fist to fist-bump the older girl. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

As Haseul returns to the desk to see her best friend and boss grinning at each other, conspiracy written all over their faces, she sighs and buries her face in her hands, making a mental note to never trust either of them with anything again.

“Haseul likes the library café barista,” Sooyoung says as soon as she sits down at their usual study table, and Haseul resists the urge to throw something, because Haseul is a full-grown adult (and she doesn’t want to lose her job for throwing things in the library). At her revelation, the entire table lights up, and Haseul wonders if the kids would respect her if she was actually their mom.

“Wait, which one? The one with the pink hair?” Yeojin asks, leaning forward with wide eyes. “She’s an exchange student from China, right?”

Haseul raises her eyebrows, turning to look at the baby of the group. “She is?” She’s met with a look of disbelief.

“You have a crush on her and you didn’t know that?”

“The poor thing can hardly talk to her guys,” Sooyoung reveals, grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You should have seen her. She stuttered, like, the whole time, and even blushed when Kahei called her by name. It was great.” Yerim lets out a little squeal, and Haseul immediately shushes her on instinct. They aren’t in the silent area, but still. It’s the library.

“I’m glad you all find my suffering amusing,” she says, shaking her head and going back to her laptop.

“Wait, you really like her?” Jiwoo asks, looking all too excited. “That’s so cute!”

“This is total romcom material,” Jungeun points out, looking up from her laptop and pushing her glasses back. “Mind if I steal your romance and turn it into a story?”

“There isn’t any romance, guys.” Haseul shakes her head. “Seriously, I just have a little crush.”

“It’s more than little,” Sooyoung says, and Jiwoo (bless her) reaches over to place her hand on Haseul’s shoulder.

“If you like her, I think you should do something about it. I’ll even help! We can all help!” Jiwoo’s suggestion makes Hyunjin and Hyejoo groan, and the rest of the group nod.

“Yeah, that would be fun!” Yeojin is bouncing in her seat as she speaks, and Haseul has flashbacks to the last time her friends tried to “help” with her love life.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m happy being a single mom.”

“You aren’t even a mom!”

“Moms deserve to be happy too!”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that you already have ten kids.”

“We won’t blow anything up this time, because it’s a library, not a biology classroom.” Yerim says it like it’s comforting or something, and Haseul once again has a flashback to poor Saerom blinking at her in confusion, both of their clothes drenched in some unknown pink substance and their hair standing on end from the blast that had sent both of them reeling towards the emergency showers. Thankfully, nothing got in their eyes and Saerom is still her friend despite the most botched confession in history, but the memory still stands stark in her mind.

“Dating isn’t a bad thing.” Sooyoung wraps her arm around Jiwoo’s shoulders and leans into her. “Seriously, I would highly recommend it.” The rest of the girls (other than Yeojin and Yerim) look at each other and nod. With a sigh, Haseul runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. Kahei’s smile dances behind her eyelids, and she knows that the kids are right.

“I’m terrible at flirting, though. What if I make it uncomfortable?”

“I’ll teach you how to flirt,” Sooyoung offers.

“Also, I know someone who works at the café too. I can have her ask about you,” Heejin says, “her name is Mimi, you might have seen her?”

Sooyoung chuckles and shakes her head. “Trust me, the only person Haseul’s paying attention to in there is Kahei.” Haseul isn’t going to admit it, but it’s true. She can barely remember the faces of the other girls working there.

“I think I remember her,” she lies, “but isn’t that a little bit embarrassing?”

“I could always just tell her to ask if Kahei likes anyone. Apparently they’re pretty close.”

It isn’t her favorite idea, but Haseul doesn’t have any others, so she sighs, giving in to the girls. “Fine. Have Mimi ask Kahei.”

Sooyoung grins, celebrating her victory with a fist pump. “There you go! Now we just have flirting class to get to!”

“Mom’s getting a girlfriend,” Chaewon sings softly, and Haseul lets her head fall onto the table, wondering if being concussed will help her feel less embarrassed by her friends. It doesn’t help, because Heejin and Hyunjin join in with Chaewon, and Yeojin hums a dramatic, made up tune as Yerim giggles in the background, and all Haseul can do is hope that this doesn’t end like last time.

Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. Every time, she tells herself that it isn’t creepy, because her eyes just move on their own. Even when she’s helping students or organizing books, as long as she’s on the first floor, she’ll catch her eyes wandering back to the familiar pink hair. Today, though, there isn’t much for her to do, so Haseul settles on watching the other girl work through the window.

Kahei moves and works smoothly, always with a smile on her lips as her fingers hover over the register or her skilled hands put together sandwiches or coffees of all types. Haseul has never seen her flustered, either, no matter how busy it gets, she never seemed to be phased. Even on the days when Haseul goes in after a big rush, Kahei seems just as beautiful and calm as ever, not a single hair out of place. It’s a skill that Haseul envies.

As she watches, a tall girl walks up to the register and earns a bright smile from Kahei as the barista reaches across to fix the girl’s bangs. The girl seems young, like she’s hardly a freshman, but Kahei seems to know her well, and it makes Haseul’s heart pang as she watches the two talk. The girl is a better fit for Kahei anyway. They’re both beautiful in that angelic type of way that Haseul strove for in high school, only to give up on once she reached college. The girl is probably an angel on earth, and Haseul is, well, a mom, and a librarian with thick-rimmed glasses and a bob haircut because it’s easier to take care of with her busy schedule. The girl blows Kahei a kiss, and Haseul watches the girl of her dreams giggle and shake her head as she turns around to make a drink.

She begins biting at her bottom lip, lost in thought as she watches Kahei go through the now-familiar process of making a latte. Do pretty girls like Kahei even date girls like her?

“Hey, Haseul?” A familiar voice breaks her out of her thoughts and she turns around to see Jinsol standing there with a stack of books in her arms. “Can you check these out for me?”

“Oh, sure!” Haseul hopes her lips aren’t too chapped as she takes the books from the younger girl’s arms and places them down on the desk, quickly logging in to the system.

“Slow day?” Jinsol asks, looking around as she fishes through her backpack for her student ID.

“Yeah, pretty slow. Midterms are mostly over.”

“I wish. My poetry professor is so behind that we’re only just starting our midterm essay.”

“That explains all the books on Gertrude Stein,” Haseul says, raising her eyebrows as she slips the receipt into the top book and hands the stack back to her friend. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Jinsol’s eyes dart over to the café and she clears her throat. “Um, I saw you looking when I came up and I just want to say that you should follow your heart. I was really nervous to ask Jungeun out because she seemed so cool and calculated but it turned out that she was just too nervous to talk to me. It really paid off for me, you know?”

Haseul smiles at her. “I know. I’m the one who encouraged you to confess, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah. But I’m just saying that if you really like her you should let her know. Or something. Sorry, my brain is kind of dead right now.” She picks up her books and sends Haseul a grin. “Thanks for everything, mom.”

“No problem,” Haseul replies, waving as she walks away despite her slight confusion at the other girl’s words. Is she really that obvious?

Her eyes move back to the café, and she notices that the tall girl has gone, leaving Kahei alone once again behind the counter. For a moment, Haseul thinks their eyes might meet, as the older girl turns around and glances through the glass. But it’s too far away to tell, and she turns back around almost immediately, leaving Haseul watching the back of her head again.

“You know, you could just go and talk to her,” Amber says from behind her, making her jump and spin around, putting her hand on her chest.

“Boss! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Amber says, but she’s grinning like she doesn’t mean it. “But I mean what I said. You should go in there, you’ve been staring all day.”

“Am I that obvious?” Haseul says it out loud this time, and Amber nods.

“To anyone who knows you? Yes. You get this dreamy look on your face. It’s cute, actually.”

Haseul can feel her face getting red as she looks down at her desk. “That’s gross.” Her voice wavers a bit, and Amber reaches over to put her hand on her head, messing up her hair in the process and making her whine.

“You shouldn’t deny your feelings, dude. You know, my girlfriend is a singer.”

“Wait, really?” Suddenly intrigued, Haseul forgets her red face and looks up at her boss.

“Really. Have you heard of Luna?”

“Of course I’ve heard of Luna. She’s the most famous graduate from this school. She’s gone on to have tons of hit singles.” Haseul squints at the older girl and sits down on the stool behind the desk, crossing her arms. “You’re telling me that you’re dating her? How?”

“My charm and good looks,” Amber says, making Haseul laugh as she pulls out her phone and hands it over. Sure enough, the lockscreen photo is of her and Luna, with Luna kissing her on the cheek. “I thought she was so out of my league, because I was a research major. But I was also on the basketball team, and turns out, she used to come to all of my games. One day after a good game I looked up and she was right there and I just had to shoot my shot. I was all gross and sweaty but I asked her on a date and she said yes. And the rest is history.”

Haseul stares down at the photo on the screen as Amber talks, feeling something turn in her chest. They both look so happy together, and it makes Haseul realize that she wants that: she wants to take cute photos with Kahei and kiss her cheek and laugh about stupid things with her. Her feelings for Kahei go further than a crush now, and her hand shakes slightly at the revelation as she hands Amber her phone.

“You two are really cute,” she says, like her entire world didn’t just shift.

“Thank you! What I’m saying is that you should shoot your shot no matter how out of your league you think Kahei is. You’ll regret it later if you don’t, take it from your old boss.”

“You aren’t old.” Haseul feels a bit dizzy as she glances back towards the café and spots Kahei’s familiar pink hair. “Don’t say that.”

“Just think about what I said, okay?”

Haseul is pretty sure she won’t be able to stop thinking about it now, but she just nods, trying to ignore the way her heart picks up in her chest. “Okay.”

As it turns out, Haseul doesn’t have to think about Amber’s words for long, because the next day, she looks up to see a familiar girl standing at the desk. She fumbles with the books in her hands, mouth going dry as she tries not to make a fool of herself.

“Kahei! H-hey, what brings you over to our side of the library?” She asks, carefully putting down the books and smiling her best smile as she walks over to the desk. It’s hard not to get distracted by the sparkle in Kahei’s eyes, but she notices that the girl isn’t in her uniform today, and that she has her backpack perched on her shoulders.

“Haseul, hey! I actually needed your help with an essay, if that’s okay?”

Haseul blinks. Kahei is asking her for help, and she can help, because it’s her job. She just needs to get her heart to stop doing back-flips first. “That’s what I’m here for. What do you need help with?”

Kahei beams at her and puts her notebook on the desk, quickly flipping through it. “I just need help finding the right sources. I’m still a bit rusty at writing in another language, you know?”

A pang shoots through Haseul’s chest at her words, and she bites her lip, resolving to put away her own nervousness and help her any way she could. “Let’s get to work, then. I’ll help you write the best possible essay.” She’s still nervous, of course, but Kahei’s bright smile helps sooth all the thoughts running through her brain and makes it so, so worth it.

Kahei is easy to like, especially because she seems to have a lot in common with Haseul. She talks soft and has a sweet laugh and covers her mouth to make sure she isn’t too loud for the library, but she’s also serious about her schoolwork, listening closely to everything Haseul says while she nods her head in understanding. She isn’t afraid to ask questions if she has an idea or needs clarification, and Haseul likes that. It’s obvious that she’s a good student, and her quiet dedication makes the process seem to fly by. When Haseul checks her watch, she realizes that they’ve already been at this for more than an hour, but she’s not tired like she’d usually be. Talking to Kahei has been... fun.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kahei asks from over her laptop, and Haseul turns to look at the girl beside her, nodding her head. “Why did you become a librarian?” Her question makes Haseul stop and think. Why did she become a librarian?

“Well, I’ve always loved books and helping people, and I was already doing tutoring, so this just seemed like the next step.”

Kahei smiles, and Haseul feels her heart skip. “You’re a good librarian. Thanks so much for all your help.”

“It’s no problem.” She knows her face is flushed, but Haseul doesn’t look away this time. “I-I couldn’t do it without you supplying me with coffee, though.” The statement makes Kahei laugh, and a few other tables turn to look at them, but Haseul can’t bring herself to care right now.

“Anyone can make coffee, though.”

“I like yours the best.”

Kahei’s face flushes and she tucks her hair behind her ear, looking down at her laptop with a smile. “I’m glad to be able to help, then.”

Haseul’s heart goes crazy, but she tries not to show it, clearing her throat and looking down at one of the books on the table. “I’m glad to be able to help you too.”

Later, after Kahei has gone (turning to give Haseul a little wave and a smile that makes her feel a little faint before she goes) Haseul sits behind the desk, staring down at the pile of returned books underneath. Her thoughts are full of Kahei and her smile, and Amber’s words from the day before play in her head, mixing with Kahei’s laugh and her own doubts. A copy of The Scarlet Letter blinks up at her from inside the box, and she knows what its saying, even if she’s afraid to listen.

“Tell her, or you’ll regret it.”

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