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#i sobbed the first time i completed pacifist
starbirdkitsune · 21 days
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UNDERTALE YELLOW. THIS SONG HITS ME IN THE FUCKING FEELS.
I WAS WRITING AND THEN IT CAME ON AND I HAD TO STOP WRITING BC I WAS WRITING FOR TMTS AND I LEGIT HAD TO STOP WRITING BC I STARTED CRYINGG
It's such an incredible song but it makes me a little teary every time i hear it because whenever i'm listening to it it's usually when i'm working on uty stuff, and the intro makes me so sad because of the justice motiffff
like c'mon clover you poor baby no i need to stop enjoying your funeral song
*sobs more* i get like protective every time i see clover now like i want to hug them, wrap them up in a warm blanket, and give them soup
that's how you know i find a character a trauma bean, when i want to do that to them that's how you know.
this fucking SONG makes me so sad but it's so good. just like Undertale Yellow the game. when replaying the game, I'll usually replay the Neutral Route, both for the INCREDIBLE final boss and because it makes me the least sad and frustrated. (rip martlet tho) Pacifist I'll play, and replay, but i need to take a break and cry after i finish. Genocide i will play for completion but never again. Zenith Martlet is a badass design, but her fight is actual hell. Her music (as well as Enemy Retreating and Trial by Fury) is really good too, but no, i've played the geno route once and never intend to do so again.
Flawed Pacifist I straight-up won't play. Like, i'm sorry, but even I have my limits. You're pacifistic lil baby clover for most of it, but by the end of it, clover has depressed martlet, killed ceroba, got starlo to hate them (and made starlo lose his best friend) added to asgore's guilt, and died a violent, sad death. I can't do that to myself, Star, Ceroba, Martlet, or the baby bean. like NO. Flawed Pacifist is a route I actually hate. (no hate to the devs i just really don't like that route, nothing on them.) I cannot play this route. Mainly because of Starlo hehe. I feel so bad for him. I've never played Flawed and have no intention to, i've just watched a video. Flawed Pacifist arguably leaves everyone more hurt than traditional pacifist, and it really shows just how beautifully-written messed up the game is.
I love Undertale Yellow. I really do. It's just that if I play Pacifist I start crying. Or if I listen to Undertale Yellow (song). It's that powerful and I love how perfectly this game has nailed some songs, particularly the boss themes. Guns Blazing? Showdown! ? Remedy? Forlorn? Trial by Fury? AFTERLIFE? The Specimen Themes? All INCREDIBLE, and right up there with Toby's music.
This game. I love this game.
*still sobbing and cranking out a rant*
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writing-fanics · 1 year
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okay, so like when I write this Vash x Wolfwood Reader. Y’all ain’t ready for the angst that I’ll bring.
Warning: angst : attempt suicide below
not only does Vash melt her rough exterior and make her smile for the first time in years. he even is the first one to reveal all the scars he’s accumulated because of his pacifist lifestyle.
and she just hugs him nuzzling her head into his chest. they share a kiss and it leads a the bedroom rump rump 😏.
the next morning while they’re about to finish the journey to JuLai. Nicholas places his hand on Vash’s shoulder and tells him to “treat her right and to not break her heart cause if he does he’ll end up with a bullet between his eyes”
so when she figured out what Vash was going to do she tried running back towards JuLai, even though she knew it was futile she didn’t want to lose him she just finally felt what it was like to be happy and what it was like to find love and was going to lose it all
She cried and kicked Nicholas as he held her back from going back towards the city. she wailed flailing her arms screaming out for Vash and for Nicholas to let her go
all those happy moments with Vash flashed before her eyes. their first time meeting, when he made her blush, when he made her smile, their first kiss, and first time.
When they returned to JuLai, it was all gone nothing but a crator in the earth. And no sign of Vash nothing. No sign of life.
and y/n immediately shut down she stared blankly at the crator as her brother shook her shoulders. her ears rang as her brothers voice was muffled.
in that moment her hand reached towards her gun holster. her entire body shaking as he raised it towards her head.
she didn’t want to continue after that. she just found the best thing to ever happen to her and lost it completely in such a short time. she didn’t even get to have the time to take it all in. the feeling was still so new and now it was gone.
she started crying, sobbing her finger slowly pressing against the trigger. just before she could press the trigger wolfwood grabbed her wrist and aimed it towards the sky.
she immediately dropped the gun falling to her knees sobbing. crying into her brothers chest while wailing shaking and whimpering that she never had the chance to tell him that she loves him.Meryl joined hugging her as she cried.
Two Years Later
She wasn’t the same anymore. She became hardened and a lot more brutal. she became ruthless.
she even wore a red jacket similar to Vash. she didn’t stack up a bounty but became feared by even the most fearsome bandit gangs.
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hoonvrs · 5 months
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hi saint! about that one anon ask
this just shows we should stop calling them idols and use artists instead
because they’re not, they’re human beings who make mistakes and in the best scenarios own up to them and don’t do them again
and while i, as an ultimate pacifist, wouldn’t really use insults as a solution, i truly understand why they are used, because it is very much disappointing to see anybody, knowingly or not, support the genocide that is happening in gaza, not even just disappointed but angry and sad, since innocent lives are taken by the money they spent either to sip on their frappuccino or eat their big macs
this whole thing with jake would be much better if those who decided to throw insults as well as those who bashed them for so would just use the situation to idk spread even more awareness?? and share some ways to actually help?? as much as boycotting is important sending, for example, humanitarian help is i think a little bit more urgent
still, i hope his apology will somehow change something, after all, it’s the first time anybody in kpop actually apologised and didn’t just wait for their company to do something or simply delete the post, that's an improvement
tbh when i thought about it i was kinda impressed since they can’t really engage in anything that is even slightly political or controversial so him saying sorry is somewhat of a statement, which is sad but we all know what the kpop industry is (one big piece of shit ❤️)
it’s sad what happened under op’s post, truly shows what views and morals some engenes have
damn that’s long hope everything makes sense :’)
hi joojoo
calling them artists instead is totally valid but would be hard since they themselves call themselves idols so it’s basically become their occupation name
don’t get me wrong i am completely against war and violence but i am also with it when it comes down to you can’t do anything but use violence because it’s the only way people will listen to you.
the people have every right to be angry and express that anger because this isn’t a little situation and it’s more shocking to not know what’s going on instead of knowing. also let’s not forget the person called jake stupid for doing something stupid, they weren’t being aggressive or bashing him they literally called it for what it is
now if they said something outta pocket i’d be like okay fairs that’s too far but trust me nobody will sob and cry over being called stupid or an idiot especially not a 21 year old grown ass man
these people have been using their accounts nonstop AND STILL ARE to spread awareness but just because they COULD use this opportunity to spread more awareness doesn’t mean we completely invalidate their hurt and anger. are we also forgetting this is done online?? it’s literally twitter where i’ve seen worse shit then someone calling their fave an idiot like when did people become so sensitive and defensive over a man who doesn’t even know your first name
icl i was genuinely surprised myself at how quick he responded esp under a post where gaza and genocide where explicitly mentioned so there was no room for that and kudos to him and i also get that it’s such a big step up and improvement in that fuck ass industry but i’m not about to praise someone to the ends of the earth for being a decent human and not supporting the death of innocent civilians
i really hope he does learn and educate himself because it’s no one’s responsibility but his own and hopefully prepress more carefully with what he indulged in and what he shows to his viewers
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Linumi
Angst #48
Brace yourselves for a lil angsty angst under the cut and on AO3.
"Your brother has completely lost his mind!" The door slammed open as she entered his bedroom without so much as even a knock.
"Wha- what's going on?"
Bumi was sitting innocently at the foot of his bed when his brother's girlfriend just barged in. What if he was up to something... Private? But that's what he admired about Lin- she really didn't care.
"It's the same forsaken fight he loves having with me!" She replied from between gritted teeth.
At this, Bumi went over to her and with an arm around her back, guided her back to his bed for a seat. She stared at the floor despondently as he waited for her to further divulge.
"He took it too far this time." She sighed.
"What happened?"
Now she turned towards him. Her facial features were unnaturally tensed as if to stop herself from belligerently crying- not that she wasn't already flushed and teary eyed when she entered. But this told Bumi there was more- that this was far more severe than the usual 'we must have children.' fight.
"He is going to leave me."
Her voice was so quiet, Bumi would've missed it if he wasn't reading her lips.
He instinctively pulled her into his arms for a hug, "Lin," He said kissing the top of her head, "You know he'd never do that. You love him. He loves you. You've been together for years and-"
Lin pulled away suddenly.
Her eyes finally won the battle against her determination and tears gathered at the base of lids. Her breathing hitched to let out a sharp exhale.
"He meant it, Bumi." She sniffled, "It's over."
"Lin that's not-"
"There's someone else." She whispered gravely, "Someone who is allegedly his soul mate." 
Bumi's mouth fell open. That was some pile of gemsbok bullshit. He couldn't believe it- he couldn't fathom it. Of all things in the world that he knew, he was most certain that Lin and Tenzin belonged to each other. And if that was false- who's to say the world won't fall apart? What was true anymore? Everything must really the opposite of what he thinks it is.
And did this mean he finally had a chance- No. It couldn't be.
"You haven't said anything."
Bumi snapped out of his ruminations, "Maybe I can talk to him-"
"And say what? Don't do this? Stay with Lin and remain unhappy together?"
Unhappy? Were they unhappy?
"I could go and beg too." She continued in a frenzy, "Wake up! Please don't do this to me. I'm your soulmate not-"
"Lin." His voice was somber enough to cut her off.
"It's over, Bumi." She said more to herself than to him.
He pulled her into his arms again for a hug, this time stroking her hair gently while she finally let loose and sobbed into his chest. He had never seen Lin so hurt. To think a monk like Tenzin, a pacifist of making, had the capability to break Lin Beifong. Everything was truly the opposite of what it seemed.
Lin slowly looked up at him while he was still lost in thought. She knew how much he cared for her. She felt a pang in her heart. She was suddenly overcome by something that rested so deep inside her, she didn't even know it existed. Without a thought, she pressed her lips against his. Bumi's eyes widened at the contact. His was suddenly aware of all the points of contact between them that he lost feeling in his hand tangled in her hair, followed by the other that rested on her back. His shoulders felt foreign under her arms but when he caught a glimpse of her relaxed face, with her eyes shut without a crease on her lids, he too relaxed and eased into the kiss.
He kissed her softly, gently like they were meeting each other for the first time. Her lips were like flower petals against his: delicate and supple. He could get lost in this feeling forever, or worse, he could get used to it.
He quickly dug his palms into her shoulders and pulled her away to create some distance between them.
"Lin, no." He panted, "We can't do this. Not like this."
She swallowed and nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry."
Bumi pulled closer to rest her head on his shoulder, cradling her face with one hand, "Don't apologize. I know it's difficult but-"
"Can I stay here tonight?" She asked politely.
"Of course." He smiled.
That night, Lin slept peacefully huddled against the warmth of Bumi. She lay snuggled under his body, as he held her tightly within the safety of his arms.
It indeed was funny what Aang used to say: the end of one thing always marked the beginning of another.
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ravensvirginity · 2 years
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TW: brief mentions of rape and suicide 
There’s something incredibly tragic about Raven and Arella’s relationship in NTT that no other version really manages to capture. Arella is such an important character in Raven’s story, but she’s so often glossed over or ignored completely in modern adaptations. 
Even though Raven and Arella don’t have that many interactions that we see, it’s clear Arella loves Raven. She constantly throws herself into battle, going against her pacifistic beliefs and facing her abuser, to protect Raven from Trigon. 
When Trigon and Raven first meet, Arella immediately rushes over to defend Raven, even though she’s well aware that fighting Trigon is a fight she can’t win. 
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There doesn’t seem to be any hesitation--although we don’t see the moment she jumps through the Great Door to follow Raven, she shows up almost immediately. She can’t just let Trigon take her away, she has to try and defend her, even if it’s futile. 
Their relationship seems to become more strained once Raven leaves Azarath. Arella still loves her, but she doesn’t support Raven’s desire to fight Trigon. 
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She can’t turn her back on Azar’s teachings, even if it means the Earth will die. She’s steadfast in her convictions--until Raven goes with Trigon to his dimension. 
Even though she initially seems to think choosing the passive option was the right choice for Raven, when the Titans insist on going to save her, she agrees to come with them. 
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This is a bigger deal than last time. Not only is she going to face Trigon again, if she survives, she won’t have a home to return to. Arella is throwing away her whole life, everything she’s built for the last 18 years, just for the off chance of being able to protect Raven from Trigon. 
Although she initially says she won’t violate her teachings, this changes the moment Raven is in danger.
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Again, she throws herself into battle against Trigon, knowing she’s going to lose, just to keep Raven safe. And this isn’t even the biggest sacrifice she makes. 
Arella willingly dooms herself to spending an eternity trapped with Trigon to keep Raven safe.
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She says here that it was for the good of all, but in the Terror of Trigon arc, she says it was for Raven. 
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The rest of the Terror of Trigon arc follows the pattern of Arella going against Trigon to keep Raven safe. She tries to stop Lilith from letting the Titans kill Raven, and sobs over her body once she dies. After Trigon is defeated, Arella immediately goes out to search for Raven, not resting until she finds her. 
It’s shown, over and over again, how traumatic Arella’s time with Trigon was for her. She was so horrified over the thought of bringing his child into the world that she tried to kill herself to avoid it. And yet, once Raven was born, it seems like her feelings completely changed. 
I see a lot in fics people writing that Arella couldn’t love Raven until she began to grow up and she saw that she was nothing like Trigon, but I personally disagree. 
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Arella was concerned for Raven, even when she was a tiny baby. After Azar took Raven away to raise her, Arella missed her terribly, even though she believed Azar raising her was the right thing to do. 
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Every time Raven is in danger, Arella throws herself in harm’s way to save her. She’s beyond selfless, willing to spend eternity in hell just to protect her daughter. 
And then, when Trigon and Brother Blood are defeated, she cuts Raven off and abandons her completely. 
Sometimes I want to pretend this never happened, and just write it off as another moment to hit Marv with a spatula over. But it did happen, and I do have thoughts about it. 
What was Arella thinking, when she finally had what she’d wanted for her daughter’s whole life? Trigon is dead, and Raven is free to experience emotions. Arella can finally be her mother, but she chooses to leave and let Raven flounder as she tries to navigate a world that has previously been denied to her. Was she just sick of being tethered to Raven, and wanting to experience life on her own for the first time? Did she think it would be best to leave Raven on her own so she would stop depending on her? 
Canon never really gives us more than a shallow explanation. 
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In the end, Arella comes to see that she does want to have a relationship with Raven, and they make up.
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I think that, while Trigon was alive, Arella was motivated by a strong desire to keep Raven safe. Raven is her daughter, and she couldn’t stand the thought of Trigon abusing her too. She was willing to put herself in harm’s way again and again out of desperation to keep Raven safe from the man who had abused her. But then, after Trigon’s death, she didn’t have to protect Raven anymore. All the feelings Arella had ignored while she was keeping Raven safe came back, and it led to her cutting Raven off. 
There’s something so tragic about both of them wanting to be able to have a normal relationship for all of Raven’s life, but it being forever denied to them. Then, when it finally became possible, Arella found she wasn’t ready for it. (And then when they finally started to make up they died, but I pretend Titans Hunt never happened 24/7.) 
Arella is so incredibly important in Raven’s life, just as much as Trigon is. There’s so many stories that could be told about them starting to get to know each other as people once they finally have the chance to. As always, I hope that one day DC will remember their relationship and bring it back. 
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I need more with sal and Travis with kids please
Short dad that is seen as the pacifist but will mess up anyone that bothers his kids and tall wife that looks like they would kill you and would.
That’s just the canon dynamic, I refuse to hear otherwise.
Sal 100% carry’s the babies around and does everything he can for them. Meanwhile Travis is just happily making sure things are set up so Sal doesn’t go into a panic that food is low or diapers are missing. Let alone if they have a baby with allergies or in need of medication.
Travis having a complete 180 on how he views children after having his own. 1: he just risked his life to be shit on and screamed at by a fleshy lump. 2: that fleshy lump has his husbands hair and the cutest lil nose (confirmed to be the same as sals before the incident). He’s very much a helicopter mom. Glaring down at any and everyone that dares look at his babies wrong.
Sal tries to teach them not to be violent and to handle their problems without harm. Travis likes to interject that necessary violence is a-okay. If they push you, punch back. (Their youngest kids ended up becoming a notorious menace in the schools as bullying seemed to stop.)
The oldest kids were conceived by accident. Definitely a college party that led to an impromptu make up, make out and hook up. Though they were a surprise that Travis tried to hide, that baby was spoiled and adored. Sal definitely sobbed and held onto the tiny little fist of his first born.
Uncle Larry is… he’s a force to be reckoned with. Sal jokes that Larry probably sowed his seed and never even found out, terrifying Larry that any of his past flings might have had kids. Luckily though, Sal seemed to be the destined son to have the first grand baby. He takes it upon himself, as any good big brother, to watch the baby and coddle them. They do art projects that always leads to the baby coming home messy and covered in paints and colors.
Travis is used to it and Sal loves that his family is receptive of the unconventional baby. (Lisa shrieked and hugged them when they told her. A baby was a baby! She got to hold a grand baby!!)
Henry was a little awkward when he and Sal sat to talk. Travis refused to take part as the two needed to discuss more than just the new baby. Instead taking the time to drag Larry in to tell him before Lisa got to him. Travis will never forget the look on Larry’s face. He’ll be honest, it’s the happiest face Larry had ever made, not even his baby and he’s trying to talk to the belly and cry that he’ll be a great uncle,
Grocery trips can only be done when someone is home with the kids. Even then, the person home needs back up. Which falls onto family and friends to come help relieve them of the chaos of their kids. They weren’t bad kids but god knows they were a troublesome team.
Larry’s beloved eldest often happily scurried yo him to paint. The second eldest liked to play with Soda! They always went to play with dolls at Maple and Chugs place. Neil and Todd had their hands full with the 3rd and fourth. Tech savvy munchkins that loved to look at Todd’s newest creations and play with Neil! The fifth and last baby preferred naps with their parents. Often spotted curled up on one of their chests and snoring quietly
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fosermi · 3 years
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SEMI BACK FROM THE DEAD PEOPLE
That's right! I'm back! And I bring to you CHAPTER 3 OF GUARDIAN MACAQUE AU
WHY?! Well because I couldn't sleep well and it's 5 am fuck my headache I give you content!! Fair warning: Macaque is a soft monkey especially to kids AND YOU CAN PRY THIS HC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS ABDJFKCMCM
Some days, Biming would leave to sell the rice cultivated in their field to the neighbouring village. An oddity, Hóu realised. Why sell to another village? He didn't understand… After all, there were other houses in their village. 
"Hóu?" Ai's soft voice called for the demon. Oddly enough, it wasn't her usual tone that came through her call. 
Immediately detecting the shift from her usual beat, the black monkey jumped down from his position on the plum tree that grew in the back garden of the couple's home. The tree upon which the monkey would spend most of his free time on whenever he could. "You called, Mrs. Ai?" 
"Oh! Yes, dear…" her voice dripped with worry - fear even. In her arms a red cloak, outstretched as if allowing him to take it. "Could you please accompany Biming to the town today…?" Her eyes glimmering under the morning sun with worry, begged the black monkey to take on her request. 
Hóu, with an immediate nod, complied as he gently took the cloak from Ai's grasp. Hesitantly, the black monkey built up enough courage to ask the kind lady, her worry affecting his own. 
"Mrs. Ai… is everything alright…?" His hand reached out to Ai’s in an attempt to comfort her as his eyes locked with hers, taking notes of the high level of worry embedded deep within her honey-brown eyes.
Seeing the concern in Hóu's golden eyes, Ai's tense shoulders fell as she let out a shaky breath. "Ling Fa… he warned us that demons moved in close to the rout Biming takes to the other village…" 
Ling Fa… yes…
He was the family's guardian spirit… it was his duty to protect the family, right? Of course he would warn the kind couple.
By late morning, Biming and Hóu had headed out on the road on the small mule-pulled cart with their cargo safely secured. Ling Fa had stayed behind to ensure Ai's safety as he would not have been much help with manual labor. 
Hóu rode on the back of the cart as his mind drifted off to the thoughts of the strange family guardian. They had previously met a couple of times. Ling Fa wasn't a concerning figure, in fact Hóu believed he was incapable of fighting due to his pacifistic tendencies. 
Throughout the journey, Biming and Hóu held up a small lighthearted conversation, a conversation that seemed to have only lasted a couple of minutes was in fact just two hours. 
Soon the duo were at town close to noon, Hóu couldn't believe how lively everything was! Carts and vendors and buyers were everywhere! If he was being honest, Hóu's entire world seemed to start spinning due to the overload of his senses. 
"Welcome to the market, Hóu!" Biming said with a bright smile as he handed Hóu some earplugs. "They might not completely drown out all the new senses but its something at least… if you ever need a breath at all, then tell me and we can go to a more tame part of the town were we can rest for a bit"
Hóu's reply came in the form of a nod. However, even though his senses are over exerting himself, Hóu knew that he had to allow Biming to sell their crops so they could earn the money needed. So, the black monkey decided to sit right behind the cart after putting on the earplugs, mostly hidden from the front view as she observed how Biming bargained and sold his crops. 
Eventually, daylight started diminishing as the sun was starting to head down the horizon, turning the shy a nice shade that reminded the monkey of orange peaches… something about the sunset seems to have upset the demon and he felt a pang of pain in his chest. 
Upon noticing the sadness embedded on the monkey’s face, Biming decided that it was time to head home. "Hóu, let's go home." Came the familiar voice of the young man that got Hóu moving onto the back of the cart, and once again head off back home. "We should be back home just after sunset" Said Biming in an attempt to comfort his companion, which seemed to have worked somewhat. 
The ride back didn't have many complications, it was a smooth ride back with a few conversations every now and again. Once home, Biming and Hóu carried their goods into the home as they announced their return, only to be greeted by the smell of Ai's amazing cooking as they sat down by the table to eat. 
Biming was telling Ai how well Hóu had taken to the city and how well behaved he was. He kept on flattering the black monkey demon which got Hóu to stutter every now and again when he decided to speak up. Soon enough, it was time to head to bed after it was decided that from then on, Hóu would accompany Biming to the market. 
His days spent here in the small farm house by the valley with Ai and Biming went by faster than he expected. And soon, they would have a new addition to their family in the form of a child between the couple. 
The couple at first didn't know how Hóu would react to children, as throughout Ai's pregnancy, he had done his best to avoid her as much as possible without angering her. He however instead spent his time with Biming learning how to trade and sell as well as bargain and buy goods. 
When their daughter was born, the couple found something they never had expected to see. That night they had awoken to the sound of soft cries coming from the adjacent room that Hóu had offered the baby to stay in with him so he could make sure that their daughter was safe from all harm. Surprisingly, Hóu had also swore it as his duty out of the blue one night before she was even born. 
What surprised them however, was what they saw in the room that night. They had found Hóu gently cradling their small daughter in his arms. Biming most of all was surprised at how Hóu could be so delicate with such a small fragile being and yet possess strength strong enough to carry the entire cart filled with supplies. 
Hóu looked over at the couple with worry laced all very his face. "S-sorry… she won't stop crying… she must be hungry!" It surprised Ai how well he knew how to manage a baby and how he could tell what was wrong. She stood there for a moment as she smiled at the panicked monkey before taking her daughter to feed her in the other room, leaving Biming and Hóu together in the room. 
Biming sat down next to Hóu on the bed who seemed a bit anxious. "Is something the matter Hóu?" Came the concerned question from Biming. 
Hóu's tail flicked anxiously like an irritated cat, he lowered his head and talked in barely a whisper "she's just so small Biming… will she really survive?" 
With a comforting hand on Hóu's shoulder, a smile found its way onto Biming's face "with you worrying about her like this… I know she'll be perfectly fine Hóu…" and with that, Ai came back in, carrying their sleeping daughter in her arms. 
Without a second to lose, Hóu was up on his feet to give the bed to the sleeping baby. But instead, Ai gave him the small bundle of joy with a smile. Something within him clicked that night, and for the first time he remembered something from his past. 
A conversation? 
"Hey, [~~~] why so stiff?" 
"Because! They're so small! So defenseless! How can they survive?!" A chuckle rang out throughout what seemed like a cave as the sound echoed. 
"They're children! Of course, they're small! But hey! They seem to like you!" 
"I… I guess they do…" 
"You know… if you're really worried about them so much why not take care of them?" 
"Don't you already do that?" 
"Well, technically, yes? But what I meant was you could watch over the little ones and make sure they're safe?" 
"... alright, I'll do it!" 
Hóu held the small child close to his chest, a stifled sob escaped him as a few tears flowed down his face and onto the blankets that wrapped around the baby. This concerned the couple as they barely see Hóu cry, in fact. This is only the second time they've seen him cry ever since finding him that fateful day. 
Just before they could react, Hóu faced them. Face stained with tears but his eyes held a strong determination. "No matter what, I'll make sure she becomes big and strong. I swear on my life" 
With his sudden declaration, the couple found a sense of peace and comfort. Ever since then, Hóu had appointed himself their daughter's caretaker and would help Ai and Biming with their daughter in whatever way he could. There had been countless times when Ai or Biming would search for their daughter only to find her asleep on Hóu who had her safely asleep on or under his favorite tree in their garden, sometimes asleep himself. 
Such were the peaceful times, the days he wouldn't have to worry about much except for their family's safety. Nothing could happen to them, he used to think. Not until the incident. 
Golden eyes fluttered open as he heard a faint sound of someone calling out to him. "I'm heading off to work dad!! Text you later!!" Followed by a door slamming shut and a soft ringing of a bell. 
With a sigh, the black monkey sat up and combed through his messy black hair before getting up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up. Mi Hóu looked at the mirror and examined himself only to be taken back to see a human face before remembering that his life with Ai, Biming, and their daughter Chu-Hua had ended a couple of hundred years ago. 
He had remembered everything since that time, and his true name is Liu er Mihóu otherwise known as the Six Eared Macaque. And he remembered that at this current time, he has a son. A son that he had to look out for in a world of hidden demons. But here's the catch, he can't let his son know that he himself is a demon even though he already knows about demons. Which is why he uses a human disguise. 
"Another regular day of work I guess…" he mumbled as he heard the ringing of the bell hung at the door indicating that someone had entered their home, or to be more specific, his clinic. Little did he know that this day would be the end of his daily routine of curing demons and teaching at a dojo. 
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anonymous asked :
Hii! I love your writing so much 🥰 I was wondering if you could write something for Brahms Mikey Jesse & Thomas (and maybe poly!ghostface if you feel like?) when their pacifist soft s/o who they never kill in front of kisses their hands after they kill to protect her? I need some fluff in my life . Thank you!!
brahms
you knew brahms was a complicated man . prone to kindness , clinging to you constantly , begging for attention . prone to tantrums , destroying everything in his path , making the walls shake with his fury . prone to love , petting your hair , your face , whispering desperate words of affection . you never wanted to admit it , unable to think too long about how brahms was also very prone to violence . you were lucky , you’d heard of what happened in the heelshire manner before moving in . about a man being slaughtered , a nanny attacked and chased around like cat and mouse with the cat having an unfair advantage . you knew there were murders reported when people broke in . you knew brahms was capable . but you wer lucky . you never experienced it first hand .
the man must have been drunk . must have thought no one lived in the house despite the fact you put effort into making it look lived in . he must have been confused . that’s what you wanted to think when you heard the kitchen door be busted in . you made a mistake of not running to hide . no , you went to see what happened . it seemed you were just as unexpected as the intruder was , because he paused before taking after you like a bat out of hell , yelling and waving a wrench in his hand . you’d screamed , and brahms had nearly fallen as he clamored through the walls to seek you out .
brahms wasted no time in coming out of the walls , taking in the scene of some grimy intruder about to bring a wrench down on your prone form . he saw red . chest heaving and blood thundering in his ears as he ripped the wrench out of the man’s hands and used it to beat against the man’s skull . the intruder tried to put up a fight , he even tried reaching out to you for help , but you were too wide eyed , watching as brahms violently ended this man’s life for breaking into his home , for hurting his significant other . there was no mercy . and when brahms was sure that the man had breathed his last , he looked to you . and you saw no remorse in his eyes for the kill .
the adrenaline coursing through him had him forgetting your distaste for gore and violence . he just needed to know you were okay . he thought you might flinch , might cry . but instead you took his outstretched hands and bought them to your face . kissing over his knuckles as tears finally fell . brahms pulled you into a tight embrace , hushing you as you spilled out your thank yous , i love yous , i was so scared . he’d dispose of the mess later . right now you needed him . and he needed you .
michael
michael has never killed in front of you . there’s never been a reason to . you’re always at home , at work , at school , somewhere he isn’t when he’s destroying and ending lives . the most you see is a bloody knife in your kitchen and filthy clothes in the hamper . you don’t like it , hating to think about those who lost their life to michael’s blood lust . you know you’re lucky to have never seen it . to only deal with the smallest of traces of the destruction he leaves .
it’s a nice evening for a walk . work was running late , and so you stayed extra . and after such a long shift , you were excited to get home and hopefully find michael sitting on the couch . maybe he’d tolerate you leaning on him as you forget the stresses of the day . you don’t notice you’re being followed . maybe it’s due to you being lost in your own little world . maybe it’s due to the fact you’ve gotten used to the feeling of being watched by micahel that it just slips your mind completely . but you do feel the head of a gun shove into your back as a hand wraps around your mouth .
there’s a demand that you give up your money or else . the gun digging in your back painfully as gloved hands squeeze your jaw hard . another demand , a near desperate shout for your any and everything in your bag . and then you feel the man press against you , a weak strained noise leaving him , something thick and warm dripping down the back of your neck and over your shoulders . the weight of the man get’s heavy , and then he falls to the side , gargling on his own blood , twitching and wide eyed as he stairs at the sky .
you turn so fast you almost fall , taking a few steps back only to meet michael’s gaze . a kitchen knife in his hand , wet and dripping crimson . he watches you for a moment . daring you to run . and you do , but not away from him , to him . he lets you wrap your arms around him chest , sobbing as you cling to him . michael allows the contact until you even your breathing . you want to stay and cling to him , fingers in a white knuckle grip on his jumpsuit . you just saw him kill and yet you still stay . because you love him . because despite everything , you know at least some small part of him might love you to .
jesse
he has enemies . he knows this . he’s rich and powerful and a murderer . he’s bound to have a few outside forces trying to come down on him . jesse had never thought , however , that this enemy would come from within . preston was a wanna be . he’d been trying to frame himself as the new , better chromeskull . he’d been added to jesse’s shit list the moment the man found out , making the other rush off into hiding and prepare for the inevitable . and preston … preston thought he was smart . thought he could make jesse suffer . he thought he could take you away from him . preston had never been so wrong .
he’d taken you . taken you with threats to torture you . the fury inside of jesse was untamed . preston thought he was so smart , but jesse was smarter . he found the little hide away without any difficulty . always sloppy and so easy to track . preston was pathetic . and jesse would be doing the world a fucking favor by ending his life .
he’d never wanted to drag you into this world . he wanted you free from it . but here you were , tapped to a chair , tears streaming down your face . preston was smug as he watched you , not noticing the gleam of chrome behind him . not realizing that jesse was here , close . he didn’t notice until jesse squatted down and cut through his Achilles tendon in one deep slash . the larger man was quick to disarm preston , using the knife he’d been holding to stab through his hand with so much force it settled into the floor . jesse hand’t wanted you to see this side of him . but it open for you . jesse’s heart set on one thing and one thing only . dismembering and torturing this betrayer of trust and kidnapper of his love . it slow and agonizing , and you had to close your eyes and look away , unable to take the scene . but when the screaming stopped you looked back , seeing the way jesse’s broad shoulders shook and his head titled back .
you made a noise , and it drew his attention . he was on you in and instant . cutting you free and tugging at tap , even if it hurt , he wanted it off of you . before he could sign anything you were tugging him in , pushing his chrome mask off his face and kissing him , asking if he was okay , telling him how worried you were about him . he couldn’t help but bring you in close , bloodstained , gloved hands ridding up your shirt . you’d seen him at his truest , and yet you worried for him instead of yourself . he couldn’t ever let you go now .
thomas
the meat had got out . high on adrenaline and fear , the girl had somehow used her bloody wrists to wiggle out of her restraints . thomas has roared with fury when he saw her missing . grabbing his chainsaw as he quickly stomped upstairs . he needed to find and end them before they had a chance to retaliate against his family .
he was panting , looking for blood trails to lead him in the right direction when he heard you scream . his heart stopped for half a second as fear and rage flooded him . they had you . they would hurt you , take you away . he couldn’t lose you . he could’t .
the woman was clawing at you , sobbing as she dug her jagged nails into your skin , you tried to crawl away , tried to push her off , panic flooding you . soon her begs became screeches of betrayal as she realized you were one of those monsters who had killed her friends . her hands balled into fists and she raised them , bringing them down on you were she could . she didn’t get more than two hits in before tommy brought the chainsaw down on her , tearing into her back and through her spine , splattering the both of you in blood .
thomas kicked away the corpse , dropping the chainsaw as he looked down at you . fear in his eyes as he panted . he wanted to reach out , to hold you . but how could he ? you saw him kill . you would think he was a monster . and he deserved it for not tying the meat up tighter . for not just killing the meat right off the bat .
you can only look up at thomas , trying to calm your breathing .the fear and self hate in his eyes . the utter loneliness  … you’re shaky on your feet , walking towards him . taking his hands in yours and kissing over his palms . he can’t help the sob that falls from his lips as he presses his forehead to your shoulder . and you can’t help that you press his hands over your heart , showing him you’re okay . it’s okay . every things okay .
billy & stu
the boys are possessive and protective . they don’t like when people try to step in on their territory . it’s not you they don’t trust . it’s them . and there is only so much they can take before they snap . so it’s no surprise that they do . they don’t have their gear . but they do have a pick pocketed pocket knife and rage , and that will just have to do the trick . they don’t have time plan , they only have time to act . because that drunken bastard hasn’t left you alone all night , and he decided it would be find to just fucking grab at you despite you telling him to stop .
they gang up on you , putting themselves between you and the drunken bitch fuck who was trying to grind on you . they don’t want you to see , one of them backing you up , while the other all but guts the bastard in a swift motion , careful not to get blood on them . it happens so fast , the screaming , the boys acting shocked , the sudden need to rush outside , to leave the bar and sneak away . stu blocks you from view , billy leading the three of you to a gas station . with and outdoor bathroom .
they shove you in , billy washing the blood off his hands and trying to clean out the sink the best he can . stu trying to keep you from looking , but it’s too late . you can put it all together . and you’re wide eyed as you look between your boys . the looks in there eyes show you that there is a secret they’ve been hiding . something dark , something they’re scared of you finding out . and as you watch their faces everything falls into place .
this isn’t how they wanted you to find out . they didn’t want you to find out . even if they both knew that with time you would . and here in a shitty public bathroom their secret became exposed . they wait for your response . teetering on the edge of fear and rejection . when you take their hands in your own . raising them to your cheeks and give them that soft smile , they feel relieved . and you’re next words , accepting and concerned for them have them both laughing and pulling you in for kisses . just stay safe , for me .
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slashersins · 4 years
Note
Hii! I love your writing so much 🥰 I was wondering if you could write something for Brahms Mikey Jesse & Thomas (and maybe poly!ghostface if you feel like?) when their pacifist soft s/o who they never kill in front of kisses their hands after they kill to protect her? I need some fluff in my life . Thank you!!
mmmm somft reader with their murder men in a somft moment ! ! ! 
Hii! I love your writing so much 🥰 I was wondering if you could write something for Brahms Mikey Jesse & Thomas (and maybe poly!ghostface if you feel like?) when their pacifist soft s/o who they never kill in front of kisses their hands after they kill to protect her? I need some fluff in my life . Thank you!!
brahms
you knew brahms was a complicated man . prone to kindness , clinging to you constantly , begging for attention . prone to tantrums , destroying everything in his path , making the walls shake with his fury . prone to love , petting your hair , your face , whispering desperate words of affection . you never wanted to admit it , unable to think too long about how brahms was also very prone to violence . you were lucky , you’d heard of what happened in the heelshire manner before moving in . about a man being slaughtered , a nanny attacked and chased around like cat and mouse with the cat having an unfair advantage . you knew there were murders reported when people broke in . you knew brahms was capable . but you wer lucky . you never experienced it first hand . 
the man must have been drunk . must have thought no one lived in the house despite the fact you put effort into making it look lived in . he must have been confused . that’s what you wanted to think when you heard the kitchen door be busted in . you made a mistake of not running to hide . no , you went to see what happened . it seemed you were just as unexpected as the intruder was , because he paused before taking after you like a bat out of hell , yelling and waving a wrench in his hand . you’d screamed , and brahms had nearly fallen as he clamored through the walls to seek you out . 
brahms wasted no time in coming out of the walls , taking in the scene of some grimy intruder about to bring a wrench down on your prone form . he saw red . chest heaving and blood thundering in his ears as he ripped the wrench out of the man’s hands and used it to beat against the man’s skull . the intruder tried to put up a fight , he even tried reaching out to you for help , but you were too wide eyed , watching as brahms violently ended this man’s life for breaking into his home , for hurting his significant other . there was no mercy . and when brahms was sure that the man had breathed his last , he looked to you . and you saw no remorse in his eyes for the kill . 
the adrenaline coursing through him had him forgetting your distaste for gore and violence . he just needed to know you were okay . he thought you might flinch , might cry . but instead you took his outstretched hands and bought them to your face . kissing over his knuckles as tears finally fell . brahms pulled you into a tight embrace , hushing you as you spilled out your thank yous , i love yous , i was so scared . he’d dispose of the mess later . right now you needed him . and he needed you . 
michael
michael has never killed in front of you . there’s never been a reason to . you’re always at home , at work , at school , somewhere he isn’t when he’s destroying and ending lives . the most you see is a bloody knife in your kitchen and filthy clothes in the hamper . you don’t like it , hating to think about those who lost their life to michael’s blood lust . you know you’re lucky to have never seen it . to only deal with the smallest of traces of the destruction he leaves . 
it’s a nice evening for a walk . work was running late , and so you stayed extra . and after such a long shift , you were excited to get home and hopefully find michael sitting on the couch . maybe he’d tolerate you leaning on him as you forget the stresses of the day . you don’t notice you’re being followed . maybe it’s due to you being lost in your own little world . maybe it’s due to the fact you’ve gotten used to the feeling of being watched by micahel that it just slips your mind completely . but you do feel the head of a gun shove into your back as a hand wraps around your mouth . 
there’s a demand that you give up your money or else . the gun digging in your back painfully as gloved hands squeeze your jaw hard . another demand , a near desperate shout for your any and everything in your bag . and then you feel the man press against you , a weak strained noise leaving him , something thick and warm dripping down the back of your neck and over your shoulders . the weight of the man get’s heavy , and then he falls to the side , gargling on his own blood , twitching and wide eyed as he stairs at the sky .
you turn so fast you almost fall , taking a few steps back only to meet michael’s gaze . a kitchen knife in his hand , wet and dripping crimson . he watches you for a moment . daring you to run . and you do , but not away from him , to him . he lets you wrap your arms around him chest , sobbing as you cling to him . michael allows the contact until you even your breathing . you want to stay and cling to him , fingers in a white knuckle grip on his jumpsuit . you just saw him kill and yet you still stay . because you love him . because despite everything , you know at least some small part of him might love you to . 
jesse
he has enemies . he knows this . he’s rich and powerful and a murderer . he’s bound to have a few outside forces trying to come down on him . jesse had never thought , however , that this enemy would come from within . preston was a wanna be . he’d been trying to frame himself as the new , better chromeskull . he’d been added to jesse’s shit list the moment the man found out , making the other rush off into hiding and prepare for the inevitable . and preston . . . preston thought he was smart . thought he could make jesse suffer . he thought he could take you away from him . preston had never been so wrong . 
he’d taken you . taken you with threats to torture you . the fury inside of jesse was untamed . preston thought he was so smart , but jesse was smarter . he found the little hide away without any difficulty . always sloppy and so easy to track . preston was pathetic . and jesse would be doing the world a fucking favor by ending his life . 
he’d never wanted to drag you into this world . he wanted you free from it . but here you were , tapped to a chair , tears streaming down your face . preston was smug as he watched you , not noticing the gleam of chrome behind him . not realizing that jesse was here , close . he didn’t notice until jesse squatted down and cut through his Achilles tendon in one deep slash . the larger man was quick to disarm preston , using the knife he’d been holding to stab through his hand with so much force it settled into the floor . jesse hand’t wanted you to see this side of him . but it open for you . jesse’s heart set on one thing and one thing only . dismembering and torturing this betrayer of trust and kidnapper of his love . it slow and agonizing , and you had to close your eyes and look away , unable to take the scene . but when the screaming stopped you looked back , seeing the way jesse’s broad shoulders shook and his head titled back . 
you made a noise , and it drew his attention . he was on you in and instant . cutting you free and tugging at tap , even if it hurt , he wanted it off of you . before he could sign anything you were tugging him in , pushing his chrome mask off his face and kissing him , asking if he was okay , telling him how worried you were about him . he couldn’t help but bring you in close , bloodstained , gloved hands ridding up your shirt . you’d seen him at his truest , and yet you worried for him instead of yourself . he couldn’t ever let you go now .
thomas
the meat had got out . high on adrenaline and fear , the girl had somehow used her bloody wrists to wiggle out of her restraints . thomas has roared with fury when he saw her missing . grabbing his chainsaw as he quickly stomped upstairs . he needed to find and end them before they had a chance to retaliate against his family . 
he was panting , looking for blood trails to lead him in the right direction when he heard you scream . his heart stopped for half a second as fear and rage flooded him . they had you . they would hurt you , take you away . he couldn’t lose you . he could’t . 
the woman was clawing at you , sobbing as she dug her jagged nails into your skin , you tried to crawl away , tried to push her off , panic flooding you . soon her begs became screeches of betrayal as she realized you were one of those monsters who had killed her friends . her hands balled into fists and she raised them , bringing them down on you were she could . she didn’t get more than two hits in before tommy brought the chainsaw down on her , tearing into her back and through her spine , splattering the both of you in blood . 
thomas kicked away the corpse , dropping the chainsaw as he looked down at you . fear in his eyes as he panted . he wanted to reach out , to hold you . but how could he ? you saw him kill . you would think he was a monster . and he deserved it for not tying the meat up tighter . for not just killing the meat right off the bat . 
you can only look up at thomas , trying to calm your breathing .the fear and self hate in his eyes . the utter loneliness  . . . you’re shaky on your feet , walking towards him . taking his hands in yours and kissing over his palms . he can’t help the sob that falls from his lips as he presses his forehead to your shoulder . and you can’t help that you press his hands over your heart , showing him you’re okay . it’s okay . every things okay . 
billy & stu
the boys are possessive and protective . they don’t like when people try to step in on their territory . it’s not you they don’t trust . it’s them . and there is only so much they can take before they snap . so it’s no surprise that they do . they don’t have their gear . but they do have a pick pocketed pocket knife and rage , and that will just have to do the trick . they don’t have time plan , they only have time to act . because that drunken bastard hasn’t left you alone all night , and he decided it would be find to just fucking grab at you despite you telling him to stop . 
they gang up on you , putting themselves between you and the drunken bitch fuck who was trying to grind on you . they don’t want you to see , one of them backing you up , while the other all but guts the bastard in a swift motion , careful not to get blood on them . it happens so fast , the screaming , the boys acting shocked , the sudden need to rush outside , to leave the bar and sneak away . stu blocks you from view , billy leading the three of you to a gas station . with and outdoor bathroom . 
they shove you in , billy washing the blood off his hands and trying to clean out the sink the best he can . stu trying to keep you from looking , but it’s too late . you can put it all together . and you’re wide eyed as you look between your boys . the looks in there eyes show you that there is a secret they’ve been hiding . something dark , something they’re scared of you finding out . and as you watch their faces everything falls into place . 
this isn’t how they wanted you to find out . they didn’t want you to find out . even if they both knew that with time you would . and here in a shitty public bathroom their secret became exposed . they wait for your response . teetering on the edge of fear and rejection . when you take their hands in your own . raising them to your cheeks and give them that soft smile , they feel relieved . and you’re next words , accepting and concerned for them have them both laughing and pulling you in for kisses . just stay safe , for me .
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stxphxn-strange · 3 years
Text
playing pretend
a/n: hello hello hello! i have a prompt fill for this Dark!Stephen AU from @ironstrangeprompts and im just gonna post it before i can start second guessing my writing lmao
tw: mentions of torture, injury, implied past abuse
Prompt: Dark!Stephen AU. The avengers never really notice Stephen’s pacifist to-a-fault superheroing style until one day a magical incident corrupts him/magical entity possesses him. They’re treated to a completely unhinged and lethal Stephen, the avengers realize just how much Stephen was holding back, what with his quick work dispatching all of them, resulting in very heavy injuries. However, he takes special interest with Tony Stark, whom he has been dating for a few months now. He has Tony all strung up in the middle of the battlefield in front of the other broken and beaten avengers, he taunts and tortures him. “Being a doctor and a sorcerer is so very useful, I can break you in very precise manners, put you back together and then do it again.” When he gets bored of Tony’s screams and decides to end him permanently, Stephen suddenly snaps back to normal. The real Stephen has been battling internally to gain back control, knowing that he’s about to kill the love of his life gives him the final push to break free. He portals them all to safety and to receive medical help. Cue heavy angst and Stephen trying to make it up to them but especially Tony, who insists that everything is fine and that he knows it wasn’t the real Stephen. However they both know that Tony is just putting up a brave front and is undoubtedly traumatized by the incident. Up to the author on if they want to end it in a bleak or hopeful tone.
It took Tony a few minutes to register his surroundings when he woke up. He wasn’t lying in a makeshift coffin of bent metal, broken bones, and the ruins of the building. The familiar baritone, the melody of his waking world, wasn’t hollow and cruelly taunting him. Stephen sounded like himself, soothing and loving and reassuring but worried and tired all the same. Tony heard guilt in his partner’s voice, delineating his dream, his memory, from the present. He wanted to follow that voice, the real Stephen’s voice, and leave the past behind them. Guilt was eating away at Stephen as he tried to calm Tony down and wake him up. He defaulted to the standard promises and phrases when Tony had nightmares, but this time was different. This time Stephen was the cause of the nightmare, and he knew it. No matter how much Tony said it wasn’t his fault, that everything was okay, Stephen knew he had to repair the pieces of Tony’s trust he’d obliterated.
Tony thrashed again in his sleep, feebly kicking the air in front of him just like he did on the battlefield. “Stop!”
“Sweetheart,” Stephen began, unsure of what to say. “Tony, wake up. You’re safe, no one will hurt you.”
“Stephen!” Tony groaned and thrashed again, his eyes still shut as he fought to wake up. “This isn’t you… don’t do this.”
Stephen barely held back tears as he spoke again. “It’s over Tony, I’m back. I’m me again. I won’t hurt you, I promise I’ll never hurt you as long as I live.”
Tony was shaking when he finally woke up, unsure if he was even breathing. He opened his eyes hastily, studying the look on Stephen’s face. Stephen looked concerned, even worried, but unsure of himself as he murmured soothing nonsense to Tony.
“Breathe, Tones,” Stephen said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay, I promise. Just breathe, we’re alright. I’ll leave you be once I’m sure you’re okay, and—”
Tony wrapped his arms around Stephen and hugged him tightly. “Don’t you dare. Don’t go… please don’t go Stephen.”
“I can’t risk scaring you again Tony. I’ve already hurt you enough, it’s not fair to keep putting you through this,” Stephen argued, fighting his urge to hug Tony back.
Tony only held on tighter, determined not to let Stephen leave.
Stephen still wanted to disappear, but he quickly understood that Tony wouldn’t let him go that easily. The mechanic was still shivering and trembling, slowly starting to calm down as Stephen hesitantly hugged him back.
++++
They both woke up at the same time, almost four days later. Stephen woke up slowly, feeling like he was underwater or in a fog, while Tony started awake across town.
It was pitch dark in the room, the heavy curtains drawn shut to keep out any intrusive light. It was the middle of the day, judging by the clock Stephen kept on his nightstand, but he couldn’t feel the sun on his face, or see any light from his window. He was bathing in pitch black. At first, he thought he was dead, doomed to an eternity in darkness, when something red bloomed and came to life beside him. Even now, his Cloak was always dramatic, comforting as it covered him like a blanket.
As his eyes adjusted, Stephen registered Wong and Christine on the other side of the room, just studying him.
Christine was the first to meet his stare, rushing to his bedside. “How do you feel?”
Stephen grimaced in pain as he shrugged. “Not great, thanks.” There was something else on his mind, but he was too afraid to ask. He was almost too scared to hear the answer.
Luckily, Wong spoke up before Stephen could ask. “You slept for three and a half days, Strange. How much do you remember?”
“Something attacked the Compound… I think it was me,” he mumbled.
“Not exactly,” Wong began, gentler than Stephen had ever heard him.
“Possessed or not, I still attacked!” Stephen sat up, paying the price as he rose quicker than his body could handle. “It doesn’t matter if I saved everyone, not if I almost killed them first.”
Neither Wong nor Christine spoke, and the cloak simply wrapped tighter around Stephen’s shoulders.
“You did save everyone,” Wong said finally. “And you banished whatever entity possessed you. We still haven’t figured out what it is, but…”
Wong’s voice trailed off as Stephen stopped listening. His head started to hurt as he remembered, in searing detail, more of what happened and what caused him to snap out of the state he was in.
Tony was near silent, his voice failing him after hours of tortured screams. Somewhere, somehow, Stephen knew that he was the one hurting him, the one causing Tony so much pain even though he promised never to hurt the hero. He wanted to stop, to end all of the carnage he’d brought to the Compound, to his friends who were starting to feel like family, to Tony… but he couldn’t. The hand controlling his impulsive strings was strong and steady, and it wouldn’t rest until Stephen finished its bidding.
His movements were mechanical as he strode, like the marionette he’d become, to stand in front of Tony.
And Tony just looked at him with a defeated, almost calm look on his face.
Stephen’s voice sounded distorted when he spoke, preening with a twisted smile as he bent to look upon the man of iron. “Accepted your fate?”
“You won’t be the first person I’ve loved who’s hurt me,” Tony said, between pained breaths. “There’s nothing to say.”
Stephen tried to back up, to keep himself still, but he couldn’t fight the influence of his controller and struck Tony again. “Arrogance is unbecoming.”
Tony inhaled again, deeper and more pained this time but somehow even calmer. “Go ahead and finish the job. I won’t hold it against you, Stephen.”
Stephen was hyperventilating when he heard Wong’s voice again, pressed against the headboard of his bed like he was backed into a corner.
Christine approached him tentatively, resting her hand on one of his shoulders.
Stephen recoiled away from the touch and curled up on himself like a turtle retreating in its shell. He ducked his head under a pillow, shaking in fear and pain from moving too quickly. “Did I… did I kill him? I remember everything until I was about to… please tell me I—”
“You didn’t.” Christine cut him off, hoping to keep her friend from spiraling further. “Wong said you saved everyone, and that includes Tony.”
Stephen sobbed just hearing his partner’s name. Guilt wracked his entire body as he cried harder and harder, his magic running through his veins. Was he not this exhausted, he’d probably set fire to something from his high levels of stress and fear, but all he could do was cry until he fell into painful sleep.
++++
He didn’t finish it.
He didn’t listen.
Tony remembered the horrified look he saw on Stephen’s face, the remorse in his eyes as he sent a vaguely corporeal figure of dark energy through a portal.
Tony remembered the way Stephen apologized again and again as his eyes started closing, overwhelmed by the pain seizing his mind and body. A part of him hoped that Stephen had listened, that maybe the last thing he’d see in this life would be the face he’d come to absolutely adore…
… But he’d woken up sometime later in the MedBay, wanting to see Stephen more than anything. In spite of everything that’d just happened, or maybe because of everything that’d just happened, all Tony really wanted was to go back to sleep, preferably in his partner’s embrace. That really didn’t seem like too much to ask for.
“How are you feeling, Mr. Stark?”
Tony almost didn’t notice Peter pacing around on the ceiling, in fact he didn’t know his pseudo son was even in the room until he suddenly landed a few feet away. “I feel great, Kid. Definitely not like I took a ton of bricks to the face.” He didn’t remember the gory details of the fight, so Tony couldn’t say whether or not he was being literal.
“Welcome back, Boss,” FRIDAY said, a hint of worry in her voice. “And good morning. It’s currently half nine on Tuesday. I’ve been asked to inform you that Col. Rhodes has returned from Washington and has volunteered to lead all reconstruction projects for the Compound. He’s also asked me to keep you updated and will be coming to see you this afternoon.”
Tony sighed. “Thank you. Wait… that means Rhodey came back early?”
“He did,” FRIDAY replied simply. Her voice sounded like what a nod looked like as she continued. “Would you like me to tell him that you asked about him?”
“Sure, but don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to rush to see me,” Tony replied, knowing that Rhodey would probably come anyway. He was maybe the one exception to what Tony had told Stephen earlier, before…
“Col. Rhodes will be here within the hour,” FRIDAY announced.
“Thanks Fri.”
Peter, who had started pacing on the ceiling again, asked what Tony had been wondering since he woke up. “Where’s the Doc?”
“I dunno, Pete. I’ve been wondering that myself,” Tony admitted. “Fri, you wouldn’t happen to know… would you?”
“As far as I can tell, Doctor Strange returned to the Sanctum following the… altercation… on Thursday,” the AI reported.
“What? Altercation? What happened?” Peter landed on the floor again, looking more worried than Tony thought he deserved to.
“There was just a small wizarding mishap, don’t worry about it,” Tony said. He shrugged, trying to reassure Peter as much as he could. “Not even an emergency, Underoos. We would’ve called for you if it was.”
Tony also didn’t want Peter to see what happened. Maybe he was sheltering the kid, but he didn’t want Peter to ever find out about the attack on the Compound. It was bad enough that the team, even in their varied states of consciousness, saw what they did. They saw the fear in Tony’s eyes, saw him slowly surrender to Stephen’s ruthless attacks until he just stopped trying to fight the sorcerer. Tony knew he couldn’t parry these magical attacks, couldn’t break the spelled restraints… but he didn’t want Peter to see how easily he’d given up.
If Peter had more to say, he simply chose not to ask about it. Instead he just shrugged. “Glad you’re okay, Mr. Stark. May heard from Pepper that you got hurt, so I wanted to swing by… no pun intended.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that calling me ‘Tony’ is fine?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes warmly. “I’m fine, Pete. Not up for working in the lab today, I’m afraid, but—”
“That’s okay! My suit isn’t going anywhere, we can upgrade anytime,” Peter replied. “I promised May I’d be home for movie night, but I just wanted to come see you.”
Tony smiled softly. “You’re a good kid, Son. Get home safe, and I’ll give you a call when I’m back in working condition.”
“Thanks IronDad!” Peter was gone in a second, leaving Tony in the quiet with his thoughts.
“Fri?” He asked after a few minutes.
“Still here, Boss.”
“Will you… will you tell Stephen I want to see him?” Tony asked.
Maybe he was the spoiled brat everyone believed, or maybe he was exhausted and touch starved and showing signs of an addictive personality. Tony didn’t know, he didn’t care, and he just wanted his sorcerer back.
“I’ll let him know,” FRIDAY replied, softer than normal.
++++
“Stephen, it’s been days. Days since the attack, days since you holed yourself up in my library like you’re going into hibernation—”
“Good morning to you too, Wong.”
Wong may have laughed at Stephen’s attitude if he didn’t feel so bad for him. Stephen was completely out of it, so much so that he didn’t even realize how late in the day it was. “It’s almost eight, Strange.”
Stephen just sighed. “Did you need something from me?”
“Stark is asking for you again. I think you should see him.”
“You said that yesterday,” Stephen muttered.
“I’m saying it again now. I know you, Stephen, I can read you like any book in here.” Wong began. “You’re trying to outrun your guilt but you know it’s not that easy. Ignoring Tony isn’t going to make things go away, and it’s not going to make either of you feel better. He misses you, and I know you miss him too.”
“I don’t know how I can even look at him after what I did… he trusted me,” Stephen whispered, looking down at his lap. “I broke his trust.”
“Not willingly, and he knows that,” Wong reminded him. “It wasn’t you, Stephen.”
Stephen ignored him, beginning to tremble as he thought back to what Tony had said to him. “He told me he wouldn’t hold it against me… that I wasn’t the first of his loved ones to hurt him. I don’t know what I could do or say to prove to him, let alone to the team, that I’d never hurt them again.”
“Hiding away in here isn’t helping to prove that,” Wong said.
“You just want your chair by the window back,” Stephen accused him.
“Of course I do! But I also care about you and your happiness. If you need anyone to vouch for you, I’ll be here,” Wong replied.
“That sounds like you’ve made up my mind for me.”
“I have. Go now, before it gets too late.”
Stephen opened a portal to the tower, just outside of the lab. “I doubt Tony would be asleep, he’s always awake.”
His suspicions were confirmed as he closed the portal. Tony was in his lab where Stephen thought he’d be, a mug in one hand and a pen in the other.
Stephen’s entire body trembled with nerves as he opened the door, the cloak knocking loudly and dramatically to make his presence known.
“FRIDAY, Quiet Place Protocol please,” Tony said. He looked up and smiled sadly at Stephen as the lab’s usual blaring music shut off. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Stephen suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. He was too scared to get any closer to Tony, afraid to hurt him, but at the same time all he wanted was to hug him.
The cloak made the first move, flying off of his shoulders and resting on Tony’s.
“Aww, hi Levy.” Of course Tony had a nickname for the relic, he had nicknames for everything and everyone.
Stephen found it annoying in the most heartwarming way, and he couldn’t help but smile as Tony sat down at his workbench.
“You can come over, you know?” Tony asked, half teasingly. “I told you I don’t bite, Steph.”
Stephen felt like a marionette again as he walked towards his boyfriend, but his heart was in control this time. He wanted to protect, to cherish, and to spoil the man in front of him with nothing but love and attention. He was just afraid, still unsure of himself as he studied Tony’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey… I know.” Tony opened his palms on his lap, silently asking to hold Stephen’s hands.
Stephen let him, trembling harder as Tony held him gently. “I don’t know what happened, Tony. Something took over me, and I couldn’t stop it. I’ve never been overpowered like that before, and I didn’t know what to do. But please listen when I say that I promise it’ll never happen again, I mean that’s a given if you leave me, but—”
“I’m not leaving you,” Tony said firmly. “I know you weren’t voluntarily doing all of those things.”
“I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I still don’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t.”
“Tony…” Stephen took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tony I could’ve killed you. The entire time I was trying to break the curse, to get that thing out of my system, I almost killed you. And you almost let me do it.”
“I did.”
Stephen didn’t know what to say. Tony had that calm, accepting look on his face mixed with a kind, trusting expression. It was the same look he’d given Stephen in the ruins of the Compound, and it hurt. It didn’t feel like an apology would be enough to make things right, but what else was there to do now? “I’m sorry, Tony.”
Tony slid his arms around Stephen’s waist and pulled him into the hug they’d both been needing. “I’m fine baby, it’s okay. It’s over.”
Stephen knew it wasn’t just over, and he knew Tony knew it too. But in the moment he was too fatigued to fight about it and let Tony hold him closer. “Have you been sleeping?”
“Trying to,” Tony replied. “Not to be cheesy or whatnot, but I do sleep better with you next to me.”
“May I take you to bed?” Stephen asked, sounding even shyer than when he normally asked that. “Please? I know it’s early, but I wouldn’t object to a nap.”
Tony nodded, shifting to press a chaste kiss to Stephen’s lips. “That sounds nice. FRIDAY, save and shut everything off please.”
“Engaging ‘You Shall Not Pass’ protocol, Boss,” FRIDAY reported dutifully.
Tony scoffed. “Remind me to never let you and Peter give Fri name suggestions again.”
“You could just change it if it bothers you that much.” Stephen chose to remind Tony of that instead, even though they both knew Tony was secretly fond of the movie references hidden in his protocols. “Besides, that serves you right for calling me Gandalf all the time.”
“If the shoe fits, babe,” Tony said. He stood up, keeping an arm wrapped around Stephen’s waist as they left the lab and headed for the elevators.
Despite feeling safe and loved in Tony’s arms, more than he could have ever hoped to be and probably more than he deserved, Stephen was still anxious. He felt out of place in the Tower, never mind the fact that he usually spent half of his time there, and he felt even more out of place amongst the team.
“How are the others?” He asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.
“They’re getting better.” Tony saw no point in sugarcoating the truth. Stephen would see right through it, and that wouldn’t help him process everything. “Carol and Thor are both bored of training with each other, but no one else wants to spar with either of them yet. Or with Natasha, for that matter.”
“Does anyone ever want to spar with them on a good day?” Stephen asked, trying to keep the mood light.
“You’re all a bunch of sore losers who can’t rise to a friendly challenge” Natasha quipped, suddenly materializing in front of the couple. “Tony, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why is he here?”
“Natasha, I—”
Natasha pointedly ignored Stephen. She never disliked the sorcerer, she was actually indifferent and had no issues telling Tony that, but Tony’s trustful, rather soft nature was a concern of hers. It worked in her favor, sure, but she was really trying to be a better friend to Tony and look out for him more. It was this concern that motivated her to look at Stephen with disgust. Natasha wasn’t scared of him, she took heavy damage in the attacks but it was more minimal compared to some of the things she’d put his friends and family through.
Tony was acting as if none of that happened, and that couldn’t stand.
Natasha frowned and glared at Stephen as she addressed Tony. “Tony what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t play dumb and tell me you’re not following. What are you still doing with him? You barely sleep more than an hour without waking everyone up screaming from phantom pain and nightmares! Do you think we can’t hear you yelling and begging for Stephen to stop torturing you and just kill you? Because we all do!” Natasha took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And after all that, you’re holding him like nothing is wrong? I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving sometimes.”
She stormed off before Stephen could defend himself or before Tony could respond. Her words echoed in Stephen’s head as Tony continued to lead him down the hallway, into the elevator, and into the penthouse.
Stephen sat dejectedly on the bed as Tony shuffled around the room, grabbing a few blankets from the closet. He didn’t say anything as Tony made a little nest of pillows and blankets, the cloak joining the haphazard pile the minute Tony curled up under a throw. Eventually Stephen allowed himself to lay down, offering no protests as Tony hugged him again.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, mumbling into the soft fabric of Tony’s shirt.
“I know,” Tony said simply. “Relax sweetheart, it’s okay.”
He was still tense, curling up smaller in Tony’s arms. “Are you okay?” The sorcerer asked.
“I’m fine,” Tony reassured him. That was half true. He was fine, to a point, but there were things bothering him that he had no idea how to tell Stephen about.
Eventually they would have to face the music and talk about everything, and they both knew it. For now, Tony was somewhat okay with ignoring it, clinging to the hope that having his Stephen back would keep the memories at bay.
Tags: @stark-strange-love2 @salty-ironstrange-shipper @funkylittlebidiot @richieleeparker @chocopiggy @hatakehikari @taruyison 
101 notes · View notes
kal-djarin · 3 years
Text
Memories From the Past
Fandom: Star Wars
Date Posted: February 8th, 2021
Pairing: Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi
Warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive themes but no actual smut, fighting? 
Request: n/a
A/N: Okay I’m actually kinda proud of this one. I really love the dynamic of Obitine so I tried to translate that into fic without stealing the entire plot, but it steal is very obviously similar. I really hope the flash back scenes and change in pov. make sense, I had some issues trying to figure out what tense I should use for them, but hopefully it’s not confusing. IM SORRY THE ENDING IS RUSHED!!! As always please let me know what you think!! 
Word Count: 4.5k 
The news of Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi’s return to Sundari caused an array of emotions throughout the Palace. The Royal Guards were more watchful than usual, still not truly able to release the years of grudges held against the Jedi Order and Satine, was glad to be reunited with her old friend, despite the impromptu meeting being over possible changes in where the planet stood in the Clone Wars; a figure dressed in Mandalorian armour attacking a Republic cruiser would bring anyone to question the supposed position of neutrality Mandalore held.
You, on the other hand, were instantly filled with dread. Years have passed from the last time you have laid eyes on Obi-Wan and still the mere mention of him causes hundreds of memories to resurface.
When Satine became Duchess of Mandalore, many people were happy, but there were still insurgents that would not accept her pacifist leadership. They would send bounty hunters to try to eliminate her and the power she held. These constant threats against her life compelled Obi-Wan and his Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn to remove her and you, her most trusted advisor, from Mandalore and live on the run for nearly a year.
You lived one day at a time, trying to focus on surviving the present and live to see what uncertainties the future held. Most people would think that living in such dubious conditions would be terrifying, but it was one of the best years of your life.
Right when you met Obi-Wan, you were instantly turned off by him, despite his handsome looks. His diplomatic kindness and reverence felt impersonal and fake instead of charming and he was far too arrogant for your liking. Qui-Gon, on the other hand, was someone you befriended very quickly. His empathetic and wise nature instantly connected the two of you and he became almost like a father-figure. He was constantly giving you advice and was the only reason you tolerated Obi-Wan in the beginning.
Obi-Wan instantly felt this disfavor towards him, bringing out his sarcasm and frequent jabs, making him even more unbearable. The two of you spent weeks either trying to see who could irritate the other more or just completely ignoring each other, to both Qui Gon and Satine’s dismay. Qui-Gon always tried convincing you that you and Obi-Wan would make a great pair if the two of you would just stop being so stubborn, but his advice fell onto deaf ears.
Your hostility towards each other did die however, when you were being chased by venom-mites on a cliff on Draboon. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fought them off as you and Satine escaped to the ship. Satine ran onto the boarding ramp and just as you were about to join her, you tripped over a divot in the ground, the momentum of it almost completely hurtling you off the side of the cliff, had you not grabbed a hold of the ledge.
All you can remember was the absolute terror that coursed through your veins and Satine’s horrified scream. Your body was hung over what seemed to be a bottomless pit and the only thing anchoring it were your hands; hands that were rather weak from a life devoid of physical exertion and that were slipping as each second passed.
You struggled, trying to find a way to climb up to solid land, but soon realized all the effort was fruitless. Obi-Wan, startled by Satine’s cries for help, turned around and saw your rather unfortunate situation. His eyes widened and he quickly turned from his Master and ran towards where you hung. When he was close enough, he slid to his knees and stretched his arm out to you.
“(Y/N), Take my hand!”
You wanted to, you really did, but the fear of falling to transfer your grip from the ground to his hand was too debilitating.
“Obi-Wan, I can’t, I’ll fall!” You managed to choke out
“You have to trust me!” His voice was loud, but still held its usual steadiness. His eyes however gave away his true emotions. They were frantically searching your own trying to convince you to lay your life in his hands. You could practically feel his terror radiating off of him.
Realizing you were out of options, you slowly released your grip and reached out to grasp his outstretched hand. Your fingers barely grazed his own and you knew it was too late. Gravity met you full force, and you felt yourself scream as your body began to plummet.
Then, all of a sudden, a warm cradling feeling caught you, interrupting your imminent death. You felt yourself rise over the cliff and saw Obi-Wan’s concentrated face and twitching hand. When you were about a foot above the ground, you dropped into Obi-Wan’s arms, and let out a sob of relief. Your body was racked with tears, still trying to process what just happened, and Obi-Wan just held you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, seeking comfort for your near death, and leaned against Obi-Wan’s own shaking body.
That day was the start of a new relationship for the two of you. You began to confide in each other more and felt the trust between the two of you grow as time passed. Obi-Wan dropped his guard of fake diplomacy and began to act more like himself. Of course, he still had his sarcastic humor, but it was more endearing now and his kindness felt genuine.
Soon, your relationship became more than just finding comfort in each other. When one of you couldn’t sleep, you and Obi-Wan would just sit together and talk until you became tired or if it was time to get up. Being around him was effortless and there was an understanding the two of you had that was rare to find. Of course, there was still tension between the two of you but it was different, less hostile.
If your relationship with him had ended there, innocent and full of what-ifs, you would have been just as excited as Satine was to see him. You wouldn’t currently be standing in the throne room, shaking with anxiety, waiting for him to step through the doors.
Just as you begin to contemplate completely ditching Obi-Wan’s arrival, the doors are opened and you hear the Prime Minister talking to him.
You look down and try to not draw attention to yourself, which is impossible considering Satine insisted you walk in beside her. Satine knew you and Obi-Wan were close, but you never told just how far your relationship with him went, so she didn’t see anything with the reunion. She sits down at the throne and you stand next to her. They greet each other briefly and the sound of Obi-Wan being so close to you again gives you the courage to finally meet his gaze.
He looks absolutely radiant, somehow looking more attractive than you remembered. His hair is a bit longer and a perfectly trimmed bear adorns his handsome face. You can’t help but stare, trying to take in the view you have been deprived of for almost 15 years.
“After all these years, you're even more beautiful than ever,” He says towards Satine, but still keeps his eyes locked on you.
You break the intense eye contact and try to not let his smooth words affect you. He doesn’t falter at your discreet rejection and continues the diplomatic conversation between him and Satine. She invites him on a walk through the city, and to your dismay, she gestures for you to join them. You walk just behind Satine, allowing the two of them to lead the way. Air speeders whistle by around you and people walk around the city, going about their day, unbothered by the Duchess and Jedi moving around them. You hear Satine talk about the current predicament Mandalore has found itself in with the Death Watch and you know you should be paying attention and adding into the conversation for sake of not seeming rude, but can’t help but carefully watch Obi-Wan’s side profile as he walks.
It’s perfect just like the rest of him and triggers yet another memory in your mind: you and his first kiss. It was a couple months after the incident on Draboon, and the four of you were forced to spend the night in a cave because of a rather wild storm. You sat on the cold floor near the fire Qui-Gon made, unable to rest, just watching the rain hit the mouth of the cave for hours. Unlike you, Satine used her time wisely, quickly finding much needed sleep. Qui-Gon had been meditating earlier, but now seemed to be resting as well, facing the inside of the cave. Obi-Wan sat cross-legged, reading a book about, if you remembered from his earlier explanation correctly, the method of Jar’Kai, farthest from the fire.
It wasn’t long before he noticed your restless form and decided to sit down next to you, close enough for your shoulders to touch.
“What’s up with you?” He asked, nudging your shoulder with his own.
Usually this kind of touch wouldn’t have caused you any issues, but more recently, you began to take note of every physical contact the two of you made. Obi-Wan was rather reserved, so knowing he so frequently chose to make contact with you gave you conflicting feelings. You turned and looked at him and suddenly felt rather sad.
“Don’t you wish we could be more carefree, like other people our age?”
He looked taken aback from your sudden question, but soon began to contemplate, fingers coming up to gently grasp his chin. After a moment, he looked back at you and shook his head.
“I never truly have thought about it. Why?” He questions further.
You knew why. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, Obi-Wan has found a special place in your heart. Months of confiding and building trust with one another let you get to know his true personality, making it impossible not to feel so much for him. But, although you were just teenagers, the both of you had responsibilities and expectations of you. He was a Jedi and you had to stay focused on helping Satine rebuild Mandalore after the raging civil war.
So instead of answering his question, you decided to satiate the need to feel reckless by standing up and walking out into the rain. The feel of the cold drops on your skin should have annoyed you, but instead it made you feel alive; it helped numb the feelings you so badly wish you didn’t have.
“What are you doing!” Obi-Wan yelled, looking alarmed at your sudden uncharacteristic decision.
“I’m living!!” You replied, soaking in the feeling of the rain and quickly running back and grabbing his hands with your dripping ones.
“Come on, Obi Wan, join me” You urged. His eyes are wide in shock but, nonetheless, takes off his outer robes and walks out into the rain.
His trust to join you with no question made you feel even more giddy and you dragged him into the middle of the valley that the cave sat in. You grabbed his hands and began to dance, if you could even call it that. Obi-Wan, as comfortable as he was with you, immediately stiffened up, since he was never truly taught how to dance. This setback, however, caused little pause in your actions and you just spun with him around in a circle.
The drumming of the rain did little to drown out your laugh whenever Obi-Wan would stumble, to his dismay, but he too began to chuckle at the unskilled dancing going on. You gazed up at him and just from the look on his face you knew your feelings for him were going nowhere. His hair laid flat on his head, soaked, and his face was covered in water and he looked breathtaking. He  made you feel safe and trusted and maybe that was the reason you decided to risk it all.
You grabbed his face between your hands and pressed your lips to his. It was short-lived, with him quickly pulling away with his eyebrows furrowed and lips parted.
You instantly were filled with regret, embarrassed from the rejection, and went to run back into the cave to hide from your mistake. You felt selfish, trying to act on feelings that completely disrespected everything Obi-Wan lived for. Right when you pulled away from his arms, Obi-Wan quickly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in.
His hands went up to cradle your face and he kissed you. It was overwhelming how much emotion he was channeling through it. The kiss was needy and hard but his hands were gentle, one of them coming up to tangle itself in your soaked hair. You could tell he was inexperienced, his form being a tad messy, but the passion put into it made up for any mistakes.
You feel a hand rest on your shoulder and are instantly pulled out of the memory. You see Satine looking at you, worry written all over her face.
“(Y/N), are you alright?” She asks, her eyes searching your face.
You go to answer her and shut down any of her worries about you, but catch a glimpse of Obi-Wan and lose the words. His face looks almost distraught and you know he must have seen what you were thinking of. You force yourself to look away from him and respond to Satine.
“Yes, sorry I must have zoned out.” You apologize, hoping she buys your white lie. “As a matter of fact is it alright if I return to the Palace, I think I need a little rest”
She still looks worried, but quickly approves of your request and turns back to walk with Obi-Wan, who still seems bothered by your memory, but remains cordial and attentive.
You turn and go back to the Palace, a single guard flanking your side. When you return, you do exactly what you told Satine, you lie on your bed and rest, or at least try to.
***
When Obi-Wan sensed the memory you were thinking of, he was no longer able to focus on the important matter at hand. Even after the bombing on Mandalore after you left and him nearly being crushed to death on Concordia, he found himself thinking about it. He remembers that day so clearly; the first time he truly gave into his temptations.
He had worked so hard to stay in the Jedi Order- nobody wanted him as a Padawan. He was always not enough and it was only by fate that Qui-Gon decided to take him under his wing. He knew better than anyone that the title of Jedi was invaluable and there you were making him question everything he ever knew. He knew Jedi weren’t supposed to form attachments or express their emotions, so why did he keep indulging himself with your presence.
The moment you kissed him, Obi-Wan’s instinct was to run. He was powerless against the attachment he had to you, so he knew the best way to stop it was to completely remove himself from the situation. He had every intention of doing so when he pulled away the first time, but then his other instincts kicked in. He felt the feel of your hands on his face, the closeness of your body, and realized there was no way he could let this go, at least not now.
Days after the kiss, Obi-Wan was filled with disgust at himself. He hated that he let himself indulge. He hated how he completely disregarded everything he was ever taught. He hated the fact that he loved every second of it, and what he hated most of all is that he began to wonder how it would feel to kiss your neck, skin, and other very un Jedi-like places.
Because of this, the months of progress the two of you made in your relationship were completely erased. He knew it was unfair to you, but he had to uphold the morals of a Jedi, and being around you made that goal impossible. He reverted back to the arrogant and guarded Padawan and pushed you away every time you tried to fix things.
But his efforts were fruitless. You knew Obi-Wan and were not able to let go of his sudden change in personality.
His Master also noticed the sudden change in relationship and decided to take matters in his own hands. He decided to send the two of you off on a mission to retrieve some sort of plant and herb. The two of you walked through the woods, The entire trip, Obi-Wan ignored every attempt of yours to engage in conversation and didn’t even truly acknowledge your presence. You finally decided to confront him, to his dismay.
“Was it truly that horrifying to kiss me, Obi-Wan”
“What?” He said, trying to keep the act up.
“Was it so bad to the point of ignoring me,” You pushed, getting angrier by the minute.
“I hardly see how that is relevant to the current task at han-” He began to deflect but was cut off by you grabbing his shoulder and whipping him around. Angry tears began to form in your eyes and at the site, Obi-Wan felt his facade crack.
“You don’t get to decide to drop me when things get hard, Obi-Wan” You spat, emphasizing your words by jabbing your finger on his chest.
Obi-Wan tried. He tried so hard to stay away from you. But the look of anger and heartbreak on your face made him, give into your spell, once again. He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes.
He knew he was going to hate himself after, like last time, but the temporary pleasure it brought was impossible to resist, so he kissed you.
The kiss was hard and full of anger: anger at you, at himself, at the Jedi Order, and at the world for making you his weakness. You instantly reacted bringing your hand around to run through his short auburn hair and pulling your body as close as possible.
Obi-Wan deepened the kiss, letting his tongue explore the inners of your mouth, inciting a moan from your lips. Obi-Wan felt himself flush from the obscene sound and couldn’t help but feel bolder from the thought of bringing you pleasure. He started to kiss along your jawline and down your neck, his brain becoming muddled from the pleasure of it all.
You had begun to take off his robes and that was when he came to his senses. He knew he had to stop this, it was completely un Jedi-like and uncivilized, especially out in the open. His thoughts were immediately shut down however when you slid your hand down his chest. He decided to burn every single pleasure and feeling into memory and worry later. Your hand began to venture between his legs and that was the second time Obi-Wan gave into temptation.
You were all he could think about while fighting on Concordia, and he knew this was why Jedi don’t form attachments. Just the memory of your relationship caused his judgement to be clouded. He couldn’t imagine how he would have been if you were there during the fight with Death Watch: constantly worried, focused on an individual rather than the greater good.
He was relieved to get on to the Coronet and away from the memory of his failures as a Jedi, but that relief was short-lived when he saw you boarding the ship alongside Satine.
***
Satine, as strong-willed as ever, insisted on you going to Coruscant with her. She didn’t want you to be alone on Mandalore, vulnerable to the rapidly more aggressive Death Watch attacks. Once aboard the ship, you settle into your temporary room and head down to meet back up with the Duchess, who was currently discussing her position of neutrality with other senators down the hall.
As you walk towards the meeting, you run into a young, handsome man and Obi-Wan. You immediately freeze, not prepared for the sudden direct interaction and just stare at him. “O-Obi-Wan” You stutter out, not knowing how to fully go about this.
Obi-Wan looks equally as startled, but recovers quickly and introduces you to the younger man.
“(Y/N), this is Anakin Skywalker, my Padawan and Anakin this is Adviser (L/N).”
You tear your eyes away from Obi-Wan’s and quickly greet Anakin with a nod and small smile. Wordlessly, you walk through the door and head to Satine’s side, not before hearing the Padawan say, “On a first name basis, huh, Master?” and a small grunt following a hitting noise.
The meeting was full of high tensions, many, including Obi-Wan, disagreeing with Mandalore’s neutrality. It was always an issue when brought up, and even you saw the issues with it. The idea of staying neutral and not interfering in a war is noble but is much harder in execution and can cause more turmoil in the long run.  
As soon as the meeting is dismissed, you file out of the room, trying to avoid any more confrontation. You head to the room where you are supposed to have dinner and find Satine waiting for you.
Obi-Wan enters the room, walking with other leaders. All you had to do was get to Coruscant. Once there you can get out of here and not have to think about Obi-Wan Kenobi ever again. You zone out for most of the meal, not noticing the nervous atmosphere starting to settle over everyone or the warning Obi-Wan gives about a situation going on below decks.
You are suddenly pulled out of your own head, when you hear him yell to the guards about securing the lifts. You see the blue light of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber and Satine quickly stands up from the table, bringing you with her.
A horrifying crunching sound is heard and the doors to the lift begins to wrench open, revealing a giant spider droid. It easily knocks down the guards and clambers onto the table, quickly approaching the group of senators. Obi-Wan goes into action and severs the spider droid's legs and lands a fatal lightsaber wound to its head.
The people around you breathe a sigh of relief but soon find out that it's far from over. Miniature spider droids begin to pop out of the body of the larger one and spread out to box the group of you in. Senators begin freaking out, but you and Satine know better. Years of dealing with the pushback of the people have forced you to learn how to defend yourself. Not to mention, the year spent with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan required you to spend quite a bit of time learning to fight. You and Satine immediately pull out your deactivators and get to work killing the droids.
Obi-Wan joins the fight with his lightsaber and the two of you fall into the instinctual rhythm from all those years ago. Back to back, slowly turning, ensuring the other doesn’t get too overwhelmed by the enemy. As much as you hate being reminded of your once very close relationship, it's easier to connect to him through the ease of physical touch. You can predict his movements and fighting techniques, making it much easier to interact than dialogue. Once all, except one, of the droids are eliminated, Obi-Wan turns towards you and seems as if he has something to say but quickly stops himself and walks away to check on the others. The adrenaline coursing through your veins from the fight keeps you on edge however, even after you return to your seat.
It stays with you, even when Anakin returns to inform Obi-Wan that there is a seperatist among you. The surviving spider droid is walked around the table, a test to see who it won’t attack. When Obi-Wan reaches Tal Merrik, a sudden change in the droid's hostile behavior proves him to be a traitor.
You watch in horror as Tal grabs Satine and holds a blaster to her head. The adrenaline from the previous fight serves you well because, even before Obi-Wan has time to react to the sudden change in severity of the situation, a fallen guard’s blaster, set to stun, is in your hand and has already raised and fired at the Senator. He quickly falls, releasing Satine.
You release a shaky breath and everyone, including Obi-Wan, stares in shock at your quick save.
“T-thank you,” Satine says, obviously shaken from almost being held hostage.
You nod in acknowledgment and watch as Tal Merrik is put into custody.
For obvious reasons, all the senators decide to retire to their rooms for the rest of the night.
Exhausted emotionally and physically, you do the same and head to your room after making sure Satine arrived at hers safely. You are about to relax into your bed when you hear a knock at the door. You open it to find Obi-Wan standing there, looking rather uncomfortable. “What do you want, Obi-Wan,” you sigh, tired of hiding from your past.
“I thought that we could talk”
“You are the last person to want to talk about feelings, Obi” You say turning around and heading back into the room, silently allowing him access to your space.
He walks in and closes the door behind him and leans against the wall opposite of you.
“I thought it would be a benefit to the both of us if we just talk”
“What do you want me to say Obi-Wan?” You raise your voice, tired of his roundabout way of talking.
“Do you want me to say I’m in love with you? But you already knew that didn’t you, all those years ago, and you still left” you accuse spitefully, not believing that you could somehow still have feelings for such an emotionally constipated man.
His face contorts into one of regret and grief at the mention of his abandoning you, but you still don’t let up.
“I think it’s better if you just go, Obi Wan. It’s what you do best.” You spit out, turning around to face away from him.
You hear him push off the wall and begin to move, but instead of leaving like you told him to, he walks up to you. You sense his presence against your back and he is so close you can feel his breath gently hitting the back of your neck. He stands there and lightly touches your hand with his own, breathing you in, again resorting to physical touch when his words fail. You bask in the closeness of him, giving into the way you missed his touch.
After a few moments, you hear him sigh and pull away from you.
“Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order”
With that confession, he slowly leaves and shuts the door, leaving you more confused and heartbroken than ever.
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kryptsune · 4 years
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Once Upon a Time... 5 Years Ago... 201X
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🌼It’s been a very up and down 5 years. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve become better for it. I’ve lost... I’ve gained... I’ve had my heart filled...and my heart broken... Yesterday after I finished up with my work for University I decided to hop in the car with a friend of mine and drive up to Best Buy since I pre-ordered the new Super Mario 3D Allstars game. I was so excited to play it as soon as I got home I turned on my Switch and I was ready to go. Man does SM 64 bring me back playing on the 64 at my cousins in the basement of all places. Unfortunately due to my pension for simulator sickness I was only able to play for a small bit of time so I scrolled through my games to see what else I could play before my my nausea settled. Then I scrolled to the end of the list...
There it was... Undertale. I have bought the game in various copies over the years since I enjoy playing it but not resetting my true pacifist files. I remembered in that moment that I had not completed my Switch copy so I booted it up. I was on the MTT fight in which I got my butt handed to me because I had to re learn all the patterns and everything. 
Then I kept going... it was only meant to be a little distraction from the game I had gone that day to pick up... but I kept playing... and playing....and playing...until. It was over. All those memories from 5 years ago came flooding back. How much the game impacted me, how much I cared and loved the characters. That’s when the tears came...
I broke down into soft sobs, leaning over my island counter strewn with various papers about university courses. The giant THE END stared me in the face as that fluffy white dog decided to lay down and take a nap. For 5 minutes straight I was crying, tears cascaded down onto the countertop, some even splashing on the console. 
I have been being very hard on Undertale lately because the fandom carved a hole of out my heart but in that moment I found it again. That spark that made me love it so dearly in the first place and through a curtain of tears I quietly closed the game and went to bed. It didn’t matter what others said about it. It was my own experience. I let it consume me and that’s not good either. There is a balance and in the back of my mind as I clicked my bedside table lamp off for the night I could picture all my friends in UT cheering me on. 
They would want me to still love something that made me want to draw again... create again. They would still cheer me on when I did my own stuff too. I guess what I mean by sharing this is that Undertale is still very near and dear to my heart, it always will be. I am no longer going to be so hard on it and I am glad I saved those last fights in the game for this very moment.
What I am trying to say is... I love you Undertale... I love the people that create for it. The people that get inspired by it just like I AM. This just gave me that spark back to continue working on my own fics. It’s just a part of me. No I am not leaving the fandom. I just want to be like Asgore right now and enjoy the flowers with a cup of warm tea. I don’t need to be in Judgement Hall all the time. 
Sorry this got a little long... but... if I am associated with UT for a long time... well then there is nothing wrong with that at all. 
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franstastic-ideas · 3 years
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Hello! I remember you had this idea where Frisk was afraid of Sans the first time she saw him while he was lovestruck, and had to prove her he wasn't some scary monster. If I recall it was called 'Bonely without you' or something like that. Do you have any headcanons about that? I just think it's an idea with a lot of cuteness potential!
Actually, I believe that idea was titled, ‘Nothing Tibia-fraid Of’. ‘Bonely Without You’ is when Frisk disappears with nothing more than a vague note sometime post-True Pacifist, and Sans goes sort of nutty trying to track her down and bring her home.
But yes, I very much love this idea, the concept of Frisk being afraid of Sans, her soulmate, in this universe. And this is Bara Sans too, so he’s extra big here! He towers over her a lot, and that’d be pretty scary to someone who was raised on stories of monsters terrorizing and sometimes eating humans!
And do remember that Sans’s first appearance involves him stalking her from the shadows and creeping up from behind.
I can picture poor Frisk bursting into tears, blubbering incoherently while Sans tries his best to calm her down. But he only terrifies her more, and then by the time Papyrus shows up to see the trainwreck his brother accidentally sort of caused, he drops the idea of capturing the human completely because this is just too heartbreaking and sad for his himbo SOUL to see.
“SANS, WHAT DID YOU DO? WHY IS THE HUMAN SOBBING?!”
“i-i dunno... i mean, i guess i might’ve scared her a little by suddenly showing up from behind, but-”
“BONEHEAD! HUMAN, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY BROTHER’S INEPTITUDE. I- WAIT, WHY ARE YOU STILL SOBBING??”
She’s scared of Papyrus too, partly because aside from being another monster, he’s super LOUD and that’s making her even more anxious and afraid. She ends up running away from them both, and Sans stutters something about her being his SOULmate to a stunned still Papyrus.
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writingat-night · 3 years
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tagged by my lovely mutual @tauremornalome in the first line game!
rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line.
tagging: @plotdesigner @shuttymcshutfuck and anyone else who wants to! (feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged next time i do one of these writing tag games — i honestly just don’t know which of you write)
okay. so the thing about my writing is that i never fucking finish it, and a lot of my wips are just a jumble of unconnected scenes. technically, i have more than 20 (unfinished) stories, but i’ll only be posting the ones that a) actually Have A First Line, and b) i hope to finish at some point in the distant future.
1. blue seas to mulberry fields (the untamed, nhs-centric, the only half decent fic i’ve ever published)
Jin Guangyao is dead.
He’s dead, run through by Lan Xichen’s sword, crushed under a hundred tonnes of rubble and debris. He is gone.
Nie Huaisang knows this. He does. But one man’s death is nothing compared to a lifetime. Compared to years of shouting for Meng Yao when he needed help. Compared to years of calling him San-ge. Compared to a decade of planning revenge.
2. theon greyjoy and the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day(s) (working title) (game of thrones/asoiaf, theon-centric)
Theon doesn’t know when, exactly, his status in Winterfell changes from prisoner to ward.
The first time he is a prisoner is during the Siege of Pyke. He isn’t a prisoner of Winterfell, not yet. But a prisoner is a prisoner is a prisoner all the same, regardless of if he’s locked in a cell or trapped in his own home.
3. take a chance, remake the world (game of thrones/asoiaf, starks-centric)
Two years, four months, and seventeen days after his coronation, King Brandon Stark, Bran the Broken, first of his name, wakes with a purpose. His first true purpose in a long time. He must go today.
4. your place in the family of things (game of thrones/asoiaf, sansa and theon-centric)
Sansa has always prided herself on her composure. When she was a child, she had spent hours in front of the mirror perfecting her curtsy and her posture and her politest smile. She always says please and thank you and she knows her manners better than any of her siblings ever did. She does all her homework and raises her hand in class when she knows the answer (which is almost always) and earns A-stars in almost every test. She never loses her temper or complains about her workload. Her parents spent a lot of time and money to get her and her sister into this school. She knows that, and she’s grateful for it.
She’s certainly not the kind of girl who breaks down sobbing over her French notes. And yet.
5. untitled whisper of the heart au (the untamed, sangcheng and nie bros-centric)
Nie Huaisang would like to say, for the record, that he has the worst brother in the world.
Objectively, he is aware that worse people exist. Meng Yao, for one. Jin Guangshan definitely makes the cut. Jin Zixun– well, Huaisang hasn’t talked to him since the time he punched him in the face in junior middle school, but he’s sure he’s still an asshole. Maybe Jins just suck, like, as a rule. (Excluding Zixuan. Except, actually, he is kind of a dick. He’s working on it, though, so Huaisang will cut him some slack.)
But as a brother? Mingjue is the worst.
6. bastards anonymous (working title, obviously) (game of thrones/asoiaf, baratheon bastards-centric)
Gendry should have known that Secret Santa with Arya was a bad idea. It’s their first time including her in the present-giving, and they were very clear about the five pound limit. Not a one of them earns above minimum wage, except Arya. She doesn’t have a job, but her allowance is more than Gendry gets paid in a month.
7. the todorokis gtfo (working title) (bnha, todorokis and hawks-centric)
Fuyumi is not a good daughter.
She is not like Shouto. She is not the prodigy, the golden child, the future hero. She doesn’t have a quirk so strong it nearly burnt down the house when it first manifested, a quirk so perfectly balanced that even his appearance reflects it. She doesn’t have a destiny laid out in front of her, ready to be followed like a gold-paved road.
She isn’t a bad child, either, she hopes. Not like Natsuo. They might both be the middle children, in a way (although she’s technically tied for eldest with Touya, she is six minutes younger than him), both the failures, both invisible, but she’s content with that. Natsuo isn’t. She tries to balance out his anger at their father, to get him to just keep his head down and do as he’s told, but the more time he spends with Touya, the more rebellious he becomes.
But, then, she supposes it makes sense, given his circumstances. After all, Fuyumi might not have the unbeatable quirk their father dreamed of, but at least she has one.
8. show me where my armour ends (bnha, dabihawks, because i refuse to let go of this ship and i hate canon)
If there’s a better end to a day of hero work than a shower hot enough to turn his skin as bright red as his wings, Hawks hasn’t found it yet. Being a hero might be hard, but it’s damn worth it for the feeling of washing away grit and blood under scalding water, if for nothing else. After the day he’s had, he’s more than earned it.
9. untitled modern au (game of thrones/asoiaf, theon and the starks centric)
For all that his children seem to believe otherwise, Ned Stark is not an idiot. He has five kids, a sixth on the way, and he has learned something about being a parent in the past eight years.
He is not fooled when Robb comes down for dinner five minutes early, smiling brightly, and says, “Hi, Daddy! Do you want me to set the table?”
Robb had stopped calling him and Cat Mummy and Daddy at the start of the school year, because no-one calls their parents that anymore, Dad, come on, I’m in Primary Four now. He only uses it now when he wants something. And he never offers to set the table.
10. houses out of cardboard boxes (voltron (i know, i know, i’m sorry), adashi)
Adam isn’t nervous, per se. Adam Wadekar doesn’t do nervous. It’s just that this is his first time at a new school since he started teaching, so he may be a little out of practise
(Also, he’s back in California for the first time in years, after vowing to never return. But, whatever. Not the point.)
11. untitled character study (pjo, will solace-centric)
As a rule, Will is nonviolent. Between a staunchly pacifist mom, a complete lack of athletic ability, and a pathological urge to please people, he doesn’t think he could hurt another person if he tried.
But when you walk into your kitchen to see a man with goat legs and two teenagers holding swords, all common sense sort of goes out the window.
hmm. i feel like all of them have a similar.... vibe, but i can’t pin down a pattern, per se. i tend to open with a fact about a character and then some kind of contradiction, a lot of the time. i think my favourites are probably blue seas to mulberry fields, your place in the family of things, the todorokis gtfo, and the will solace one. (mainly blue seas, though. i will fucking finish that fic if it Kills Me)
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bloededhoine · 4 years
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Maybe ☾,☠,✿ for Iorveth?
i am in love with this sexy elf and i'm not afraid to say it lets go. also i am so sorry this took so long aksjjs
☾ - sleep headcanon
☠️ - angry/violent headcanon
✿ - sex headcanon
sleep
he's a pretty light sleeper, so it's not hard to wake him up
he really likes naps
he doesn't get to take a lot of naps, but when he has some extra time there's nothing better than finding a sunny spot in a field and falling asleep
sleeps cold, and always either has a fire going or at least three blankets
he does Not like sleeping alone
even after the war ended he equated sleeping alone with "everyone who i'm comfortable enough to fall asleep around is dead"
he always sleeps with at least 6 knives in arms reach
but is really cuddly
would never admit it tho
he just knows he sleeps best when he can just curl into someone he cares about and feel protected for once in his life
okay now i made myself sad
....
he kinda mumbles in his sleep, no real sentences but more like "mnhh... fucking dh'oine... imma.. i'm gonna fucking kill you... bitch"
roche thought it was adorable
doesn't snore, but almost does
it kinda sounds like purring, his whole chest just slightly vibrates
roche also thinks that's adorable
he sleeps on his right side, absolutely cannot fall asleep any other way
but, he needs to be facing the door in case someone breaks in
he either sleeps facing the foot of the bed or moves the bed across the room if the layout isn't right
little spoon all the way
angry/violent
for iorveth, anger and violence are actually two separate things
anger is secondary to violence, that is to say he would never get violent in a fit of anger, but does get deeply angry from violence
for all the war crimes, he is a pacifist at heart
he knows the power of violence, and would never use it with emotions clouding his judgement
the tranquility he carries even when soaked in blood is a big part of his fear factor
plus, the death glare ™️ relies on his collected rage
he completely shuts off any emotions for a battle or raid, he can't let them distract him
but as soon as it's over...
he's in serious pain
but he can't show that, he can't allow himself to cry or seem weak or feel loss
so he hides it with anger
he feels even worse after screaming at ciaran for doing literally nothing wrong, but he can't stop himself
he'll only stop when literally choking on his own sobs
ciaran almost always understands, and just pulls iorveth into a hug and lets him cry
iorveth realized quite young how exhausting keeping up anger is, especially if that anger is a mask for fear and pain
but he feels like he Needs to keep that anger, it's the only way the aen seidhe can have a future
sex
thank you @bard-llama and the entirety of the rare pair discord for the hc that iorveth has both
i absolutely love it
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and a bratty one at that
roche has found it takes about 3 fingers for iorveth to lose his sass
he absolutely loves being dominated and just fucked
he's in commander mode all the time, of course the prospect of letting someone else take all control is insanely appealing
but he really needs to trust someone to let them do that
he's very experienced, but not with many different partners
i mean he's been alive for hundreds of years there's not much he hasn't tried
he just prefers to form a strong emotional connection first
he's a kinky little shit
like... reallllly
loves being told how good he is, how he takes it so well, how he's so fucking tight
"good boy"
being marked >>>
just looking at his chest and seeing teethmarks and nail scratches and bruises... yeah that's the shit
i've always thought of him as pansexual and homoromantic
he loves group sex, especially if he's the most submissive there
the attention he gets from one dom(me) is excellent, but throw in four?
yes
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Welcome to the back (Part 9)
First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter
- - -
I know, I said the next Chapter would go up on Monday but it’s getting really long and I had to split it up. Also, I really wanted you to know how Sentiquill’s costume looks like, I spent hours mulling over that! (When I say he’s wearing tails, I mean the evening dress. Does the English language seriously not have a better word for that?!) So here’s the first part, three days earlier than planned:
- - -
Marinette had been witness to more Akuma’s than she could count. As Ladybug, she had a place in the first row guaranteed. She‘d never seen the transformation itself, but the outcome was always the same: disaster, and a villain she had to defeat. Akumas consisted of negative emotion blown to their extreme, concentrated until the person underneath all but vanished. They weren’t the people they had been anymore. These people were simply the host of what had possessed them. As far as she knew, there was no way to stop it once it had begun.
She clung to Felix anyway. Logic and reason didn’t matter anymore, only that this was her friend, her most trusted confidant, and she couldn’t lose him.
“Don’t listen to him!”, she begged and buried her face in the curve of his neck. He was trembling, his eyes unfocused. “Please, don’t listen to him!”
Her fault, this was her fault! He’d been fine just seconds ago, but she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut, could she?
“I’m fine, you see? We don’t need him, we can d-do this on our own!”
A sob escaped her and she tightened her grip, as if she could keep him here with sheer strength alone.
“Please, Felix, stay with me!”
His arms closed around her, and a quivering “Yes” tumbled from his lips. A cold feeling washed over her.
She pressed her eyes shut, imagining it had worked. She’d succeeded. The Akuma had given up, and when she opened her eyes, it would be Felix’ cool grey eyes she’d look into. It would be his voice that told her not to worry, it would be him.
“Marinette.”
She stiffened and took a shaky breath. He still smelled the same. Of ink and fresh paper and coffee. It was easy to pretend nothing had happened.
“Please, look at me.”
She shook her head and Felix sighed. His hands grasped her shoulders and he freed himself from her - supposedly - iron grip to stand up. Even though he made sure to be gentle, the superhuman strength in his arms was still palpable and only confirmed her fears. When she looked at him, she knew she had lost.
“Felix”, she breathed hopelessly.
But it wasn’t Felix, was it? His skin was even paler than before, almost paper white. An inky black mask covered the skin around his ruby red eyes, and his usually combed back hair framed his face freely. She’d never noticed how long it actually was.
A red beret sat on his head, it’s brim decorated with feathers. It was the same color as the uniform jacket that hugged his torso, reminiscent of the British Royal guards. On second look though, it looked like he was wearing tails.
The arms ended in white cuffs that looked more like the nibs of a fountain pen than uniform cuffs.
And in the hand that had held his pen - this goddamn pen - he held a huge... something. It’s hilt was formed like the nib of a quill, and it’s blade looked like a feather, complete with a hollow shaft, downy barbs... There was no use talking around it.
It was a sword. A giant sword. A very sharp looking sword as well.
Oh fuck.
“Sentiquill.”, he introduced himself. Or maybe he was correcting how she’d called him earlier. “Don’t be afraid.” Says the guy with the giant weapon! “It will be alright, now.”
The same words he had used to comfort her earlier now filled her with dread.
“I’m sorry!”, she blurted out. “I’m so sorry! Please, just turn... turn back. We can expose Lila on our own, I’ll think of something! A really good revenge plan, with all kinds of strategies a-and traps!”
Fe- Sentiquill smiled and shook his head.
“I’m not out for revenge. I couldn’t care less about Lila.”
Was that a good thing? Or something even worse?
“Marinette, you mean so much to me.”, he said softly and kneeled down in front of her, since she was still sitting on the ground. “More than you know. Why would I care about something as petty as revenge when I could use my power to protect you? To...”, he pulled a grimace at the pun, ���...stand sentinel over you?”
That sounded too good to be true. Too pacifist. She knew Hawkmoth, and he would never create an Akuma with this mindset.
No.
He twisted his victims motivations until they fit his own goals. They were means to an end, and that end surely wasn’t Marinette’s safety.
“And how do you want to do that?”, she whispered, almost afraid to ask. The grimness in his face said everything.
“You’ll go after them.”, she derived. “You’re going to hurt my friends.”
“They’re not your friends!”, he spat and jumped up. “They failed you, betrayed you! But this was the last time they made that mistake, I’ll make sure of that.”
His face turned pleading.
“They have to be punished. For you! So you won’t be hurt anymore.”
His eyes were eerily red, but the look in his eyes was sincere. Genuine conviction that he was doing the right thing.
“You don’t have to worry about a thing, Marinette. Just... just stay here and let me take care of everything. And after that, we can do whatever we want! Wait here. Okay?”
No. I am Ladybug, and I have to stop you.
But first, she needed to transform, and that required solitude. So she nodded. As soon as he was gone, she’d run away and hide to change into her spotted costume.
But Felix knew her too well. And that meant, Sentiquill did too. The look on his face made clear that he saw right through her.
“Of course you won’t.”, he sighed. “You’re you, after all.”
He raised his sword and Marinette backed away. They were in the corner of the yard, behind the stairs. Right above them was the walkway to the classrooms on the second floor, if she managed to dodge the first blow, she could run up and-
Before she could fully form a plan, Sentiquill’s sword was between them. But... he didn’t strike her. Instead, he pointed the tip of the hilt - the one that was formed like a nib - at himself until it rested directly on his chest. Black swirls of color appeared on his body, spreading over his jacket as if they were being sucked into the sword.
“I’m scared of becoming like my father.”, he admitted out of the blue and the ink like darkness intensified as it filled the hollow shaft of his quill. “I hate loud voices because he used to yell so much. Being around people drains me and I’m more ashamed for that than I’d like to admit. I’m afraid you won’t want to be around me anymore if I tell you how I really feel.”
The ink only filled up a quarter of the length of his sword, but it seemed to be enough. He lowered the sword again and the black swirls vanished from his body like smoke.
“What... What are you doing?”, she asked and took another step back. Why had he told her this? And what was it about the ink that had appeared out of nowhere?
“Don’t worry, Marinette.”, he said gently as he raised the blade again. “I’ll come back for you as soon as I’m done. I promise.”
With that, the quill sliced through the air and released the ink it had gathered in a powerful torrent. She screamed, but the black fluid didn’t seem to be bound by any law of physics. It spread through the air weightlessly and formed an opaque barrier between her and Sentiquill; a wall that surrounded her like a prison. She jumped up and tried to escape, but as soon as the ink had reached its intended shape, it dried and solidified.
“It won’t be for long!”, Sentiquill’s voice promised from the other side of the wall. She couldn’t see him, couldn’t see anything. The only source of light was the opening of her cylindrical prison, at least three meters above her head.
“No, wait!”, she shouted back. “Don’t go! We can... We can find another way. Come on, don’t leave me here!”
There was only silence from the other side. Then:
“I’m sorry.”
His footsteps receded quickly, likely towards their classroom. Lessons must have begun at least fifteen minutes ago, everybody would be in there. She had to do something!
“I messed up, Tikki!”, she whispered horrified when her Kwami zoomed out of her purse. “It all happened so fast, I-I couldn’t react.”
“This is not your fault!”, Tikki hurried to assure her. “You’ve had enough troubles to begin with. Right now, we need to take care of this particular trouble.”
The tiny creature smiled and patted Marinette’s shoulder.
“We’ll talk about Adrien later. Let’s just hope Chat Noir arrives soon and get to work!”
She nodded. She’d get her best friend back, and if she had to claw him out of Hawkmoth’s cold, dead hands - then so be it!
“Tikki, Spots on!”
-
Alya yawned. She loved Madame Bustier’s lessons, she really did. And she wanted to pay attention. But she was simply so tired! Staying up late again probably hadn’t been a good idea, but if Lila needed her help... the poor girl had so many problems to deal with already, it was only right to do some of her homework for her. And it was not like Lila was simply foisting her work off on her, like Chloé used to do with Sabrina. Nah, Alya had offered it herself when Lila had told her how busy she was organizing the Journalism Junior contest. In return, she’d promised to talk to the hosts about Alya’s report, and she’d even given her another interview.
It was the right thing to help Lila out. But god, it sure got draining after a while.
She looked up when Nino elbowed her lightly.
“You okay?”, he mouthed quietly and she gave him a wobbly smile.
“Yeah, just tired.”
They’d barely had the time to talk, the past weeks. Not that Alya didn’t want to! But every time she tried, something got in the way. Either an Akuma, her blog, Lila’s stories or the ongoing drama between Felix and Lila... there just wasn’t a calm second anymore. And now...
She looked to the back, where Marinette and Felix usually sat. Felix had stormed off after he had yelled at Lila some more - this guy had nerves! - and she didn’t care whether he returned or not.
But where was Marinette?
Her girl had acted so weirdly since she sat in the back. No, ever since Lila had arrived! Alya just didn’t get it. Marinette was awesome, and so was Lila. If that girl would just get over her jealousy, she’d see that too. And damn, someone with Marinette’s talents combined with Lila’s contacts and experience... They’d be a power duo! And they could all hang out at once, which would make Alya’s time management a lot easier. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been alone with Marinette.
A groan formed in her throat. She was still mad Marinette would choose Felix over her, Alya, first with the seating and then this morning. But... god, she missed her.
Sure, Marinette’s chaotic, clumsy and bubbly personality were a handful from time to time. Lila was right about that. But it was also what made her so charming! She was always genuine, naturally positive and her dramatic humor was just endearing. Being around her always made Alya lighten up, stop her brain for a moment to just... be. Have fun a little. Get down from all her passions and work.
Yep. She really missed that. The more she thought about it, the more absurd Lila’s theory sounded. Marinette wasn’t turning into a bully. It just... wasn’t in her nature. And once everything had settled down a bit, Lila would see that too. Not that she was accusing Marinette of anything. She was just concerned.
“Adrien”, she hissed under her breath, not capable of staying quiet for any longer. The blonde turned around, careful that Mme Bustier didn’t notice. “Where’s Marinette?”
His face darkened all of a sudden, which was so unusual for sunshine boy that Alya had to take off her glasses to clean them for a second. Adrien merely shrugged and turned around, which Lila didn’t miss. She scribbled something on a note and gave it to Alya.
Marinette confessed and got rejected by Adrien, that’s why she’s not here. Poor girl!, it said. Alya gasped. Oh no! Why would Marinette confess all of a sudden when she hadn’t even been on a proper date with him yet? And why hadn’t she told her best friend? Jeez, she was probably heartbroken right now...
She sighed.
Alya might be biased in Marinette’s favor, but she knew that Adrien wasn’t obligated to return her feelings. Still. This sucked.
As soon as she saw her, Alya would tell Marinette to forget Adrien. Wait, no, that was probably too direct. Maybe... gently nudge her away from Adrien? Towards Nathaniel maybe, he was cute! Or that Luka she had told her about? She’d have to be discreet about it, so she wouldn’t upset her any further. Maybe-
A loud crash ripped her out of her thoughts. The door to the classroom was ripped out of its hinges and thrown at the opposite side of the room; her classmates screamed. Alya jumped and hurried out of her seat, pulling Nino and Lila with her to the back. It had been so many attacks the past year, at this point she knew exactly what to do.
“Akuma!”, she warned the class with a shout, just when a tall figure entered the room. Despite the mask, the strange color scheme and the guard-like evening dress it was absolutely clear who he was. Felix’ stern look was unmistakable.
“I apologize for the late arrival.”, he deadpanned and raised what looked like an oversized quill. “But Agreste caused a lot of trouble that I will have to correct.”
Adrien? Trouble? Was he referring to Marinette’s rejected confession? Her eyes widened. Marinette! Had she been with Felix when he was akumatized? Had he hurt her?!
She forced herself to breathe. No, she had to be safe. Felix might be a prick, but everyone could see he had a soft spot for the cheerful designer. She couldn’t exactly fault him for that.
His eery red gaze roamed over the students that had fled to the back and fixed on Lila, who swallowed hard. Alya paled when his face contorted into a malicious grin.
“I think I’ll start with you!”
He pounced and time seemed to slow down. Logic told her to stand back, to escape. What if Ladybug needed Rena Rouge? She couldn’t afford to get taken out of commission! But the emotional side of her mind screamed Lila and Friend and Protect. So she stepped forwards and gave Lila a shove out of the way. Felix’ sword hit Alya instead, directly in the chest. An icy sensation washed over her as the rest of the class watched in horror. But to her surprise, it wasn’t the blade that had stabbed her, but the nib-like hilt. She didn’t feel any pain. Just numbing, terrifying coldness.
“How sweet, a volunteer!”, he mocked her and she trembled. A vague, undirected fear rose in her chest and formed a lump in her throat.
“Felix”, she whimpered, surprised by her own, scared voice. He shook his head.
“It’s Sentiquill. Now how about you show your friends what dark places you hide from them?”
His face darkened.
“Not that you know much about friendship. Why would you abandon Marinette for someone like Rossi?”
She didn’t plan to answer, wanted to scream at him to buzz off, but her mouth didn’t comply her.
“I feel so boring next to Lila’s adventures, so small.”
What?! No, no, no! She didn’t mean to say that!
But she couldn’t stop, not even as black swirls of ink appeared around her, aiming for the sword. She felt as if her greatest fears and demons were sucked out into the open.
“I’m scared to be forgotten, to never reach my dreams. But Lila helps me with that.”
Lila hid behind Madame Bustier, eyeing the door. Was she searching for an escape? Wasn’t she interested in what Alya was forced to admit?
No, of course not. Alya wasn’t important, after all. Just some girl that clung to Lila. She was no one.
“Is that why you leave Marinette to herself?”, Sentiquill snarled gleefully. “Because you’re a pathetic nobody?”
“Marinette thinks Lila is lying. She’s acting so aggressive all the time.”, Alya was forced to say. Sentiquill leaned in, as if he planned to whisper. But when he spoke, it was loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Let me tell you a secret, Césaire. Lila is lying, and you are wrong.”
The darkness around her amplified as she looked at him in horror. If she’d been in her right mind, she could have denied his words easily. But whatever spell he had her under made her vulnerable to his influence, as if he were forcing the words directly into her brain, making her doubt herself.
“But she’s done so much for me and my blog.”, Alya whispered shakily, trying to fight his magic. “If she lied, all of that would be for nothing. She can’t be lying. She can’t.”
He lowered his sword and Alya broke down, feeling empty. She was no one, she was useless. She had given up everything for a lie. She was a monster to the people she cared about. What had she done?
Her muscles didn’t work, her body didn’t obey her as she fell to her knees, hugging herself. She couldn’t move. Guilt and terror weighing her down like chains.
The only thing she could do was watch as Sentiquill raised his sword, it’s hollow shaft filled halfway up with the ink he’d created from her confessions. A single strike released enough of it to block the door, trapping everyone inside. Everyone? No, Adrien wasn’t here anymore. Must have slipped out when the rest of the class had been frozen in terror. Maybe he’d get help.
Not that she deserved it.
With dull eyes she watched the Akuma walk towards Lila, raising his blade again. This time it was Mme Bustier that sacrificed herself.
“I don’t know how to handle conflict. I don’t care enough to learn.”, he dragged one secret after the other out of her. “I try to make my students clear trouble out themselves because I’m scared they won’t like me anymore if I get too strict.”
Alya heard her, but didn’t really understand her words. The pain in her head was too great, the hopelessness in her stomach too heavy. Only when Lila hid behind Nino - brave, kind Nino - as Sentiquill went after her again she managed to look up.
He’d attack her boyfriend next.
He’d make him just as miserable as her.
She couldn’t let that happen.
Her body slumped, ignoring her wishes. She couldn’t do anything. She was nothing.
The last thing she saw before breaking down for good was a red yo-yo breaking through the window, just in time to knock the quill away. She sighed as the world faded to black.
Nino would be save.
That was all that mattered.
-
Adrien had hid beneath his desk when the door had been kicked in, and slipped out of the room the second Sentiquill had spotted Lila.
Typical for Felix.
Once he had made an enemy, he couldn’t think of anything beyond petty revenge. And now this idiot had gotten himself akumatized.
“I hope Marinette’s alright.”, he told his Kwami as he hid behind a locker. “If she was with Felix when the Akuma possessed him, she was probably his first victim.”
Plagg raced around him before giving him the dirtiest glare Adrien had ever seen.
“If anything, she was your victim first!”, the tiny cat snarled. “What were you thinking?! You were acting like an ass!”
Adrien scowled.
“It’s not my fault she’s so obsessed with Felix that she can’t see reason anymore. If she’d listened to me in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
“Gah!”, Plagg groaned. “You’re so incredibly dense, kiddo! Transform already, before I forget myself and claw your blind little eyes out!”
Adrien pouted.
“Hmph! You’re being ridiculous. Plagg, claws out!”
As soon as the transformation was complete, he went back to the classroom. The door was sealed shut by a solid black substance, but luckily for him, the classroom had windows to the yard he could see through. Ducking so he wouldn’t be noticed, he glanced inside. Alya was on the floor, holding herself as if she might fall apart. Lila was hiding behind Nino, and Sentiquill stood in front of Bustier, who said something he couldn’t hear. Black ink floated around her before streaming up the quill’s nib. When Sentiquill stepped back, Bustier fell to the ground and wrapped her arms around herself, mumbling incoherent words. So that was how Sentiquill’s power worked. He made inkwells out of people, turned their secrets into ink to fill up his sword, then used it to create barriers and walls or whatever. Kind of stupid, just like his costume design.
This would be too easy.
He froze, an idea creeping up on him. Sentiquill’s power wasn’t very challenging for him and Ladybug, that was true. But... Ladybug wasn’t here yet. And if he took out the Akuma on his own, his Lady would only be here to purify the Akuma and disappear again. He hadn’t spoken with her since their last disastrous patrol.
Slowly, he started to retreat, then broke out running and jumped on the roof. There was no need to rush things. He would wait for Ladybug and use the chance to be around her for as long as possible. There were still a lot of other people ready to sacrifice themselves for Lila, so revealing her lies was no immediate threat. A smile appeared on his face when he spotted something red, just before Ladybug’s yo-yo broke through the window.
He’d been right! Now they could talk about why she’d freaked out at him the last time.
Or... he could wait some more. To make his entrance as dramatic as possible, and to remind her how great he was as her partner.
Chat Noir sighed.
He truly was brilliant, from time to time.
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