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i-cant-sing · 3 months

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IMAGINE THE KAMO CLAN WANTS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE ZENIN

so they offer that noritoshi (who is secretly in love with teen!fushiguro reader) marry her, the zenin and the kamo have made this type of alliance for years, it is totally normal for them

but definitely the kamo did not wait for naoya to come to his house shouting that no kamo spawn is going to sully his sweet daughter---- NIECE

when the others hear the news, toji, gojo, nanami, megumi, mai and maki arrive, ALSO SUKUNA WHO TOOK POSSESSION OF YUJI'S BODY

poor noritoshi

AHahaha yesss, I mean the elders just wanted to form an alliance, and neither clan really knew just how strong Fushiguro reader was as a toddler, so it was right to arrange a marriage for you.

As a child, Noritoshi didnt really care much for you, especially since he had battles of his own- being born to a mistress, being the heir of the clan because the head wife couldnt bear sons so, he has to deal with that.

But youre adorable and you grow on anyone, even the Zenin clan, so when toddler Fushiguro reader meets 9 year old Noritoshi, the latter only thinks of you as a spoiled brat at first. And why wouldnt he? Youre running around barefoot in the garden, dressed in sparkly pink hello kitty pjs with servants chasing after you, with Naoya screaming from the shed that he'll lock you up if he catches you grabbing his million dollar koi fish.

Noritoshi's disgust is quite understandable when you come upto him, hair disheveled, face sweaty, and you stick your muddy hand to his face.

"Hi! Im Y/n Fushiguro!" "ZENIN! Y/N ZENIN!" Naoya yells before dragging you away for training (Naoya didnt want you to meet your future husband).

As time goes on, Noritoshi would be sent to the Zenin estate on different errands (by this point, the Kamo clan has heard rumors of your powers and now want Noritoshi to go and woo you, which is a huge task since Noritoshi isnt someone who is able to express emotions, much less romantic ones). But even though he might not be able to express his emotions, doesnt mean his heart hasnt turned soft for you. Youre pollar opposite to him, loud, energetic, carefree- and yet Noritoshi cant help but feel that you... sort of complete him. Youre everything hes not and he likes that. Like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together, he completes you too. Hes quiet, calm, realistic- he brings peace to you, especially when youre mind gets overstimulated by- well, you.

How many times has it been that Noritoshi has stopped your panic attacks when you realised that your father Toji, wasnt coming back? How many times has Noristoshi had to pull you into his robes when your cursed energy started to lose control, risking himself just to calm you down and help you control it as his soft monotonous voice guided you through it?

And how many times has it been that Noritoshi would have his terrible day turned around with just you calling him "Nori!"? Or the times he'd be questioning his worth in the clan and all he needed was you to lean your head against his shoulder to feel like a million bucks? Noritoshi would be the type of man who people would think doesnt really care about love and marriage, when in reality, he just spent the entire night listening to you yap about your day, about Hello Kitty, about uncle Naoya, pausing in between to say "hmm, okay its getting late, we should sleep" only to suddenly remember a new topic to ramble on about. And youd think Noritoshi wanst listenting to you with the way hes staring at your face in awe, but really- he remembers every single word. You could quiz him. Its funny listening to man like him talk about Hello Kitty.

When the time comes for you two to actually get married, Naoya throws a fit, and surprisingly, the Zenin clan also doesnt want to marry you off to Kamo clan (or anyone). People opposing the marriage from your side would be the Zenin clan, the twins (who start telling you all the reasons why marriage is a trap and youd be dead in 2 days.), Gojo (he just chuckles and tells you not to worry because he wont let you be forced into marriage), Nanami (my man wholeheartedly believes youre being a victim of child marriage, BUT NOT ON HIS WATCH! GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS OF U LIKE THAT- just sit in his condo and eat the sandwhich he made for you. And dont argue.), Megumi (who doenst get why he wasnt ever informed that you, his baby sister, was in an arranged marriage, and why the hell didnt Noritoshi try to get his blessings/permission considering THAT HES YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER??? Also, no- youre not marrying Kamo) and then... theres Sukuna (if you thought Naoya threw a fit, youre in for A WORLD OF TANTRUMS AS SUKUNA SCREAMS AND MOST LIKELY KILLS WHOEVER IS IN A MILE VICINITY, just to let off some steam and calm down before he talks to you and REMINDS YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO MARRY HIM! HAVE YOU BEEN PROPOSING TO EVERY GUY YOU MET?)

People supporting this union would be all from Noritishi's side, including- the Kamo clan, Choso Kamo (cause ofc, youre just a precious baby like Yuji, and with you being part of the clan means he can protect u better), and surprise surprise Kenjaku (because youd be strong addition to the clan and then you and Nori will have babies with SUPER STRONG CURSED ENERGY AND HE'LL ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION).

Anyways, its a sticky situation and it all comes down to you really. Do you want to marry Noritoshi or not?

#yandere noritoshi #yandere noritoshi kamo #yandere naoya #yandere naoya zenin #yandere zenin clan #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere male #male yandere #tw yandere #yandere sukuna #yandere sakuna

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ppnuggie · 5 months

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　　　　　　MTMTE x gn reader

　　　　『　rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, chromedome ,, rewind ,, megatron ,, whirl ,, tailgate ,, swerve ,, cyclonus ,, first aid ,, ratchet ,, drift ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> christmas on the lost light

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— sorry i havent been uploading as much 😭💔 ive been busy with work and school ,, but im on christmas break so hopefully ill be able to get through the few requests i have sitting in my inbox rn and reopen requests :(( ima try to start uploading more now as much as i can ❤️ heres a little something for christmas though ! hope you all enjoy christmas this year <3

• it was natural for the bots aboard to be interested in human customs ,, having lived in a war most their life . death and violence were something they were quite used to experiencing ,, never really having the time to experience anything outside of the horrors of war itself .

• swerve was one of the few main bots that pestered you often about human holidays . cybertronians didn't celebrate much ,, unless they were a group of autobots who just gave some decepticons a what-for .

• then again ,, swerve usually asked many questions regarding things on earth and what humans do . sometimes you humored him ,, sometimes you told little lies ,, like if you clapped three times in a mall it would be a sign that a tiger was loose . it was quite fun to put silly nonsense in that processor of his at times .

• though when it came to christmas he would not leave you alone . whether you celebrated it or not ,, you still explained the custom in general to him . how old saint nicholas would mosey on down the chimney ,, eat the cookies and drink the milk left out for him ,, and leave presents under the tree lit well and adorned with ornaments .

• you even pulled up the santa tracker for swerve ,, showing him where santa would go and be ,, how on christmas eve he would be flying around with his reindeer and leave presents

• hearing all of this intrigued chromedome and rewind ,, as well as tailgate and whirl . cyclonus didn't understand the hype and belief of having an old random man leave gifts in your house and eat your food even if left out specifically him . tailgate was thrilled though ,, a funny little old man leaving him gifts seemed so heavenly to him . chromedome and rewind ,, however ,, had different opinions . rewind was interested in this human holiday ,, whilst chromedome shared the same opinion as cyclonus . how were you sure this 'santa' guy wasnt gonna rob you ? and when you were sleeping nonetheless .

• rodimus already knew of this tradition ,, as did ratchet and ultra magnus . rodimus was quite ecstatic at the idea of having a christmas party ,, watching christmas movies and sipping on energon . maybe he could even have you sit on his lap ,, all cozy in those soft blankets and sippin on your own mug of hot chocolate .

• ratchet couldnt care less ,, grumbling something about how 'you humans and your holidays and customs' . though he definitely didnt deny the offer of going to this christmas party ,, it was nice to spend some time that didn't involve life threatening situations for once .

• ultra magnus ,, on the other hand ,, was quite picky about how the christmas party should be set up . he even tried to ban home alone ,, saying he didnt want rodimus to get any ideas from the traps in the movie . the last thing he needed was to end up in one the next day . though ,, the many outweigh the few ,, and so home alone was allowed in the movie marathon .

• now when you told him about the grinch ,, he wasnt sure if you were mocking him by saying it was an actual movie or if he should be concerned for what this dr.seuss guy was drawing . i mean ,, have you seen how hairy the grinch is ? or how the whos in whoville are shaped ? pointy noses and all ,, it was quite new to magnus .

• megatron ,, who overheard everything ,, already knew he wasnt going to be wanted at the party . it made sense ,, his past and everything he's done to earth and its people . though when you asked him to come ,, that you personally wanted him there ,, he swore he felt his spark stop for a second . he only gave a nod ,, whilst ravage bickered to him that night in his habsuite .

• whirl ,, to say the least ,, was prepared to fight santa . he was watching the santa tracker ,, waiting for the jolly fellow to pop up so whirl could fly down and bring out the big guns ( that brainstorm recently made ,, not yet tested out or put through a test trial so lord knows what may go wrong) . magnus almost had to throw him in the brig if he couldnt contain his sudden rage and fury for the old man .

• first aid was somewhat interested ,, never having celebrated a holiday before . it would be nice ,, getting together and doing nothing but watching movies all day . he hadnt seen movies from earth that much either ,, besides a few fast n furious ones here and there . needless to say ,, he was somewhat concerned for humans need to trash cars . he cringed a little on the inside ,, watching those perfectly good cars blow up . it was like a horror movie but for cybertronians .

• during the movie marathon ,, whirl tried to sneak violent night and black christmas in ,, saying they were also christmas movies and that they should watch them . magnus ended up throwing them out ,, saying no one really felt like seeing dying people during this one time of peace .

• drift enjoyed the nightmare before christmas ,, the claymation alone was enough to captivate him . then the designs of the characters ,, the music and songs ,, even jack's childlike wonder for christmas matched his own (in a few ways) . during that movie you sat with him ,, sharing a few facts about the movie itself . how long it took to make and how hard it is to do claymation movies .

• during the polar express you stayed with rewind and chromedome ,, snuggling in between the two and sippin on your hot chocolate . rewind enjoyed watching the train on the ice whilst chromedome puffed about how he coulda easily done that himself and saved everyone . you only rolled your eyes ,, muttering out a sure as you fought back a smile .

• during a break in between the movies you noticed megatron ,, standing awkwardly in the corner with his own cube of fools energon in servo . you smiled at the bot ,, walking up to him and having a small conversation with him . you didnt honestly think he’d show up ,, but youre glad he did . he let you sit with him during one of the movies ,, bonding well with the giant bot .

• he was quite warm ,, heat coming from off his body as you huddled close to him . he tucked his servo around you ,, worried you may fall off . for a few moments during the movie you swore you saw him smile at some of the corniest parts ,, or chuckle softly at some of the dumbest jokes .

• you took turns ,, switching between bots during different movies . you would sit in their laps ,, explain little things you liked about the movie playing and share a few things of your own childhood during this time of the year .

• it was nice ,, to say the least . having time to the bots ,, doing things that reminded you of home . it wasnt the same ,, but it was the thought that counted . spending time with them peacefully was more than enough for you ,, and definitely more than you could ask for this christmas .

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nottragic-stilltoothsome · 7 months

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"Revange, please"

Summary: Although their relationship progressed lightyears past the fling that it started as, Astarion loves to be petty almost as much as he loves his new partner.

Ship: Astarion x Fem!Tav

Category: Short fluff with some (hopefuly funny) banter

Warnings: Mention of past abuse, mention of sex

With the blessing from Dolly Dolly Dolly, they could finaly revert to walking in a relaxed group, with considerable breathing room between them, instead of how they traveled from the Underdark to the Last Light's Inn - like prey animals, almost like sewn together, to make sure no one was left in the cursed darkness.

Astarion and Tav could finaly fall considerably behide.

Tav has silently hoped she would get a moment alone with her lover. She had something she wanted to talk to him about, preferably out of other's earshot. Privacy during their adventure was particularly hard to come by.

"So", she began, trying to sound nonchalantly (or at least unrehearsed). "I was thinking about our conversation from last night, about not sleeping together".

Astarion was careful not to let his face drop.

He was so naive to let himself actually belive her words yesterday. Words, that she was aparently already going back on.

He looked past many, many years of experience and genuinely trusted that she meant what she said. That she cared for more than... that. More than what everyone else always wanted from him. That she cared for him, for the person he was.

He should have known better, he should have predicted this and never made a fool of himself by telling her about all of those pathetic feelings.

He looked back at her. Her eyes hopeful, cheeks slightly flushed, as if she was embarrassed.

It was him who should be embarrassed. He was, in fact. He had to try to salvage the situation, somehow.

"Yes, my love?", he asked, but the pet name felt flat on his toungue now. He got used to meaning it. How could he mean it now? When he knew what she truly wanted, just like everybody else? "Are you getting impatient? One night of waiting was more than enough", he purred.

Tav looked at him like he was crazy.

"That's actually not what I wanted to talk about at all. It's slightly concerning that you would think that". She blinked, banishing the thought, as if making mental note to deal with that later.

Astarion looked at half-drow, expectantly.

He couldnt deny the instant, heartwarming relief that filled him to the brim.

Still, the Vampire remained cautious, unsure of her intentions.

She hesitated.

"It felt lonely, without you, last night. I was wondering, if...", Tav avoided his eyes. "If you wanted to, of course. I wanted to know..."

She could cause others psychic demage by mocking them and talk their enemies to give up without fight, but now of all times, she found herself at loss for words.

Apparently fed up with her own innability to speak, she cleared her throat and blurted out:

"If you would want to come my tent tonight. Not for sex", she clarified.

Astarion raised an eyebrow.

"What for?" He asked.

"For... Affection?"

She finaly met his gaze, in all seriousness, as if asking in a matter-of-fact tone would cause her case to be any less corny.

Tav awaited his answer.

Clearly, she was somewhat afraid he would burst out laughing, demaging her pride beyond repair.

And, of course, Astarion would not disapoint.

His laugh (albeit, unbeknownst to Tav, comming from a place of relief rather than amusement) temporarily alerted the others, which caused her cheeks to burn hotter than Karlach's engine.

"Okay, fine, fuck you, too", she wasnt really mad, but she much preferred to growl at him than to hide her face in her palms, which she saw as her only other avaible reaction.

"No, no!" Astarion rushed to say, with a sinister scheme already forming in his mind. He stopped and faced her. "I will consider it".

Tav raised her eyebrows. Vampire's grin was not a good sign for her.

"If you say please"

Tav chuckled, with a hefty dose of disbelief. She wasn't sure if he was serious.

And couldnt help but smile a little, at his audicity.

Astarion didn't elaborate, standing his ground, so she said:

"Oh, I get it. It's a revange. For the party after we saved the Grove" She made him say please then. "Begging for cuddles is much more humiliating than asking for sex" Tav complained. "The latter you can blame at a kink at least. Or flirting".

"Please, do explain to me more how I'm comming up a winner. And do stall, I'd love an audience" with his chin Astarion gestured at the group ahead, who seemed to develop an interest in the couple and why did they stop.

"Fine", Tav hissed, her entire face burning with shame. She crossed her arms on her chest and looked into his eyes, as she finaly spat out a hateful: "Please".

"I'd be happy to", the Vampire said sweetly after a prolonged pause, when he delighted in the silence left between them after her plead.

"I'm honored" Tav said, sarcasm dripping from each syllable, but she was already dropping her feigned annoyance and letting it turn into a genuine smile.

Astarion looked pretty happy, too, and not only in a sadistic way that took pleasure into seeing her all frustrated.

"Hey, Soldier!" They heard Karlach from up ahead. "You guys comming?"

Astarion and Tav caught up with the rest of the group, making their way to the camp, motivated by their plans for the night.

#bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #karlach #astarion acunin #astarion x reader #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #tav x astarion #tavstarion

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meowzfordayz · 9 months

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to save you is to save the world

Author’s Note: proud of myself for writing this. Not my most polished fanfic, but still a gentle slip into Sanemi’s characterization and tenderness (~sort of). 🤍

to save you is to save the world

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader

Word Count: ~900

CW: death content, explicit language

Emergency Request: i request for a realistic sanemi comfort interaction with a reader whose around the same age as him, (hes 21 i believe) started late, joining into the slayer corps but proven to be as hard working and having a knack for combat, honing her skills, body etc, (which was effective most of the time, earning her up to tsuguko rank like kanae) but in this particular night, she just couldnt be 100%, let alone 30% or lower, she was at her worse today (hah like me) — giving up wasn't her thing, but yeah... 🥹 everything feels heavy, breathing techniques seem more harder, nerves shaky from lack of sleep and food intake just—yeah (shit is happening to me too rn) i love sanemi and his hardened shell with a soft budding flower inside, its so comforting (or am i just traumatized cough)

~faqs~

“You aren’t taking care of yourself.”

You shrug at Sanemi’s blunt statement, knuckles tremoring as you regrip your katana, beads of sweat threatening to fall from your brow as you inhale slowly. Moonlight glimmers lazily through his white hair, the tucked away clearing as familiar as it is difficult to locate, an ideal place for sparring bordered by tall, tall pines and the layers of many winters past.

“If you were a demon, then you’d be dead.”

You shrug again, dust stirring as you lunge toward him, a low growl vibrating in your throat when he easily stepsides you, the dreary weight of the bottom of his pommel smacking you square in the back. He snorts while you swallow a dry cough, lavender eyes following your hasty retreat as you rethink your position.

“Seriously, you’re stupid for continuing to fight me.”

“We aren’t fighting,” you mutter, upper lip curling, “I’m fine.”

With a devastatingly simple maneuver, Sanemi’s blade suddenly rests shiny and sharp against the curve of your collarbone, his expression grim as he says plainly, “Wrong.”

You blink, unable to breathe, his warm scent of freshly ground matcha powder softening the starkness of his violence.

“We are fighting,” he insists, withdrawing in a heartbeat, “Training this, training that, this is real,” giving you a withering look, “And you should be dead.”

“Well I’m not,” you deadpan.

And thank fuck for that Sanemi nearly exclaims, jaw clenching at the weariness in your gaze, the memory of your sluggish movements. He knows your chances of beating him are essentially zero, but you usually hold your own at least fractionally better — you usually bite harder than he does, adequately compensating for your lack of skill with your passable company. But currently?

“No thanks to your effort,” he scoffs, gesturing to your katana, limp in your hand, “You’re wasting my time.”

“I’m tired,” you mumble, fingers numb as you flex them around your handle, “Don’t you ever get tired?”

He can tell by your intonation that he wasn’t really meant to hear your final utterance, but he is a Hashira, and you are a mere five feet—give or take—away from him. You should’ve kept that question to yourself.

“I’m tired when I’m awake, I’m exhausted when I’m asleep. I can’t remember feeling alive. But I am. And as sorry as I feel for myself, there are more pressing matters than being tired.”

You flinch, the uptick in his volume and intensity flaring, your eyes closing as a swell of shame fills your lungs. Of course Shinazugawa-san gets tired. How silly of me to-

“Enough.”

“Enough?” you sputter, shame crinkling into indignation as you suck in a tight breath, “We’ve been fighting for less than an hour!”

“And you’re already bringing up tired,” Sanemi interrupts coolly, sheathing his katana, harsh chuckle hurting your ears as he nonchalantly dodges your lame attempt to charge at him once more, “Like I said, you aren’t taking care of yourself.”

“You don’t know me,” you retort, knees aching as you pivot to face him, “I’m tired, not unconscious.”

“Do you want me to knock you out?” he drawls amusedly, “Because it would take precisely no energy on my part to do so.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” you huff, impatience bubbling over, “Why would I want a concussion?”

“So you can get a good night’s rest?” he smirks.

“I’m leaving,” you declare, your katana returning to its scabbard, tongue dripping with sarcasm, “Thanks for sharing your keen observations with me.”

“Before you go, let me share another,” Sanemi’s voice darkens, his intoxicating aroma of green tea, discipline, and coldness stifling the air surrounding you as he circles you, “You aren’t taking care of yourself, and you will die. If you’re tired, then rest. If you’re exhausted, then rest some more. And don’t let me find out that you died due to carelessness or fatigue.”

“We die every day,” your eyes roll, uninspired by his scathing “pep” talk.

“And you’re okay with that?” he challenges, “You’re okay with dying?”

“If it means you’re nicer to me-”

“Shit like that should never come out of your mouth,” he snarls, firm palms hot and crushing as he grasps your shoulders, “If you want me to be nicer to you, then just fucking ask. Don’t fucking die. So fucking dramatic.”

“And you had to shake me to get your point across?” you remark carefully, pulse erratic as delicate flecks of deeper violet in his irises reveal themselves to you, “Shinazugawa-san…”

Sanemi doesn’t have the decency to look embarrassed, pressing himself into you for a fleeting moment, the sensation of his embrace almost false, gone even as it registers. You swallow thickly, head empty, pinpricks of doubt and heat and fear stabbing at your chest.

“I don’t want to see you until you’ve eaten, bathed, and slept through an entire day. In fact, you won’t see me until you ask.”

“Ask what?” you say dumbly, still reeling.

“Until you ask me to take care of you,” he scowls, “And no, beating you up doesn’t count.”

Watching your eyebrows furrow, Sanemi sighs, teeth gritting as he tacks on roughly.

“I notice everything, everyone.”

You glance away, sparing him from further explanation, the slight itch of dust on your skin signaling his departure.

—

If only I could save it all too.

#sanemi shinazugawa #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x reader #shinazugawa x reader #wind hashira #one shot #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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baby-xemnas · 1 month

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RRRHWHWAaaahAAAHHH FIRST TIME LAWBEPO!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES SORRY IN ADVANCE THIS IS VERY VERY LONG

i think law realizes at about 12 or 13 thats hes going to be with bepo forever and marry him and stopped trying to fight the urge and instead just waits Patiently for when bepo is ready, because bepo Will pick law, because law is his favorite and law will absolutely Make Sure Of It. he will KILL any competition without hesitation because bepo is HIS babygirl and will be HIS wife someday

ohh laws sexual awakening was absolutely bepo but they were teenagers and bepo was so much younger he couldnt.. he wouldnt.... he loved bepo before he was even interested in sex but then he became interested in sex and it just felt like the natural order of things for that to belong to bepo too, usually he would share everything with bepo but this........ bepo isnt ready for that.... but the idea of anyone else having bepo before law makes him Crazy he cant stand it!!! he wants to make bepo HIS in EVERY WAY

law, because he is very sane, decides the best way to do this is to fuck a bunch of people and get really good at sex so that when bepo is finally ready to have sex law will be the best and only partner he will ever want or need. bepo will be so completely satisfied he only has sex with law, forever. so law spends his teens slutting it up not because he actually cares about the sex, or the person At All but more as a hands-on study of the body, not for whoever hes having sex with but for BEPO. all the sex he has is him carefully studying the blade so bepo can have the best lover on the whole planet.

bepos sexual awakening is obviously law. he spent his late childhood knowing he wanted to give law Something, that he was desperate to be closer to him somehow or wanted to know something no one else did but then his body changes and he blossoms into a young bear and realizes what these feelings mean

bepo is heartbroken seeing law with so many other people because if captain was lonely he could just ask bepo!!!!! law should be able to come to him with anything... is bepo not good enough???? why did all those random people meet some standard he couldnt?????? he wants law to want HIM!!! but then again.. why would he..... bepo is a bear and hes weird and law wouldnt want him like that............. so bepo holds his broken heart and tries to be happy with what he has, tells himself not to be greedy

i think their first time theyre 15/19... law has waited so patiently and would wait a thousand years more for bepo but he can admit his control is......slipping..... but he wants bepo to know hes Serious about courting him that bepo is his One And Only. law started gently flirting with bepo while they were still kids, telling bepo he would be the only person who would always be there for bepo no matter what, that anything bepo wanted law would get it, bepo is his everything.. hes sweet and tries not to be a pervert about it even though he REALLY really wants to because bepo is so cute and hes getting so big and the texture of his fur changed hes not baby fuzzy anymore hes a real, grown predator polar bear-- but no. no. he must wait. for bepo to be ready

law notices bepos sexual awakening because law has been waiting for it with a 46 step color coded plan since he learned what sex is and when he realizes the way bepo looks at him has changed .... it takes all his strength not to jump him at every moment. bepo is glancing at law differently now, looking him up and down when he thinks law isnt looking, fidgeting with his paws and squirming when law leans back in a chair and spreads his thighs, god help him one night he hears bepo whimpering and moaning so sweetly in his sleep and pretends not to be awake when he hears bepo wake up with a gasp and go run off to the bathroom to change his pants

law stops having sex with other people because he could not care less about them anymore, he knows what he needs to know and now its time for him to use it on the only person who matters in the whole world: bepo. he starts with little things gently lingering touches on bepos back and shoulders, telling bepo he looks cute or pretty or even sexy in something (bepo has to go lay down he almost passes out) and making sure bepo knows he can ask law for anything, Anything, and law would never be mad or reject him

they used to share a bed or sleeping spot when they were small but they stopped when law started sleeping with other people, even tho sometimes he would just go to a hotel, fuck someone, shower, and go back to actually share his bed with bepo at night

so law offers....... bepo can sleep in laws bed with him again if he wants...

oh but its Different now though. the Tension bepo feels, he almost thinks by some insane miracle law might WANT him or be FLIRTING with him(??!?), maybe bepo DOES get to be one of the people law takes to bed but-- will he be any good at it????? what if he messes up??? and law never ever lets him again?????? but...law is always so patient with him and sometimes at night he strokes bepos fur so softly and tells him how good it feels and how much he likes to touch him, bepo has a cute face such cute lips.. law is more muscular now, hes growing some stubble and his voice is deeper, hes so mature and manly... wow... (hes a 19 yr old emo kid bepo is just a horny teenager) hes wearing a white tank top and boxers and he got these new tattoos that go all the way over his chest and bepo just cant TAKE it anymore he Risks It All and gives law the clumsiest nervous closed eyed kiss in the world

law told himself he would go slow if thats what bepo wanted but bepo kisses him and It Is So Over. bepo tries to pull back already shaking and tearing up and starting to apologize and law grabs his face in both hands and kisses him with so much tongue . bepo can do nothing but gasp and whine and hang on to laws tank top clawing holes in it while they kiss, laws hands running up and down his body he hugs bepo so close and bepo is making noises he didnt even know he COULD it feels so good to have law touching him..

law holds back just long enough to warn him Bepo...... If We Keep Going...I Wont Be Able To Stop........ but he knows bepo wont tell him to stop and he wouldnt be able to stop anyway ESPECIALLY not when bepo begs so sweetly and desperately for him to Captain Please Keep Going!!!! Dont Stop!!! law takes his time making sure he gets to touch every part of bepos body with his hands then with his mouth until bepo cries and begs him to just put it in instead this is too embarassing!!!! its weird!!! his body is weird law doesnt have to do all that!!!! but law wont stop he just tells him over and over how badly he wants bepo, how long hes been waiting and thinking about having bepo, how pretty he looks like this... he makes bepo lay on his back for their first time so he can see bepos face the whole time, holding his wrists apart so he cant hide behind his paws and bepo cries the whole time but its all yes yes and thank you and good and please and law law law law!!!!!

for all of his sex training law simply cant handle the bepo of it all and he finishes way faster than he meant to (law: i only made bepo come 4 times before i did. pathetic) but bepo wails and moans like hes the one who came hes so happy he finally feels so complete like this while law says his name and he gets to feel how HE made law feel good, law picked HIM, he picked BEPO and bepo made him FEEL GOOD!!!!!! law gently cleans them up and spoons up behind bepo and bepo feels his heart flutter because law never actually SLEPT OVERNIGHT with any of those other people so maybe bepo IS special... he asks very nervously in the dark if this means law will keep seeing those strangers and law just tucks his face into bepos neck and is like Of Course Not. Why. Bepo Is More Perfect In Every Way . said so confidently bepo moves back into laws room the very next night

the end ❤️

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOUUUUUUUUUU

thank you so muuuuchhh for thisss❤️❤️❤️

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah god perfect

"studying the blade" lol

that perfectly captured the beast in the cage that law was...

hhhhhnngg

#anonymous #lawbepo #talk tag #fic ask #lol

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rand0mfangurlstuff · 2 months

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I'll Look After You Part 2 - Bucky x Y/N

First part here: https://www.tumblr.com/rand0mfangurlstuff/745510955233034240/ill-look-after-you-bucky-x-yn?source=share

Y/N woke up that morning with a terrible creak in her neck. She was in a awkward and uncomfortable possition. When she first woke up she thought she was in her own bed, but this hard uncomfotrable sufrace was not her bed. She slowly opened her eyes; before she could fully take in her surroundings she heard a familiar deep voice 'Morning Sleeping Beauty' she shot up like she had just been electrocuted. John 'Bucky' Egan looked at her with a smirk that she was certain made many a poor woman weak in the knees. She did her best to compose herself, act like she intended to fall asleep next to him. 'Morning, How'd you sleep?' she asked. 'Like a baby in his mothers arms.' He smiled that devilish smile again. 'I'm glad. A bit more rest and you should be in the air in no time.' His expression changed. It was softer now. 'Thank you, for staying with me.' She smiled, she could see he meant it. But she had to try her best and be professional. 'Don't mention it. Just doing my job.' It was then he switched back. It was like he was too different people. There was John; kind, honest, almost shy. Then there was Bucky; all cocky bravado and over-confident. He smirked, 'You sleep next to all your patients?' 'I'll do whatever I need to to make sure my patients get the best care.' She decided the best thing to do was to act natural and unfased. He was clearly goading her, she could see it in his eyes. She needed to reistablish the Nurse/Patient dynamic once again to regain control of the situation. She proceeded to check his vitals while asking him basic medical questions. The more she talked, the less he could.

'How's the pain?' She asked while checking his pulse. 'Fine. I'm totally fine.' 'Oh really? That's good. I'll let the doctor know. He'll examine you and if he sees you're fit for duty you'll be out of here by lunch time.' She knew he was not fit for duty. She just wanted to get him to stop this bravado act. Made everything a lot simpler. 'Sit up for me.' He tried, and tried even harder not to seem in pain, but as soon as Bucky tried to sit up straight in the bed, he winced in pain and fell back against the pillows. 'I uh, I guess I'm still a bit sore.' 'Major it's best if you be honest with us about your condition it's the only way we can make sure you are healing properly.' 'Yes Nurse.' There was a sudden tension in the air. She could feel that he wasnt pleased. Wither it be because he had to stay in the infirmary, or because she wasnt playing his game with him, she wasnt sure. 'I should go freshen up before rounds. If you need anything just ring the bell, one of the other nurses will help you.' He smiled, he looked a little hurt by her leaving, but he quickly turned on the 'Bucky' charm to hide it. 'I'll see you later Nurse Y/N, Will there be another sleepover? Dont forget your pajamas this time!' He said with a wink. She ignored him, walking away to get something to eat.

Bucky was confused. Last night she had been so kind to him. More than kind, she showed him more care than he had recieved in a long time. But this morning, it was like a different person. She was so stern with him, cold even. He couldnt understand what on earth he had done to make her change? Was she really only helping him last night because it was her job? Sure that was obviously part of it, but it felt like more to him. Was she ashamed that she let herself be in a vulnerable position with him? He would never hurt her. His teasing earlier was just that, teasing. Maybe even a little bit of flirting. Was that the problem? Was she taken? Had some lucky bastard already claimed her as his? There were no rings on her finger, but she still might belong to someone. Bucky sat contemplating, wondering what he would have to do to see her smile as she did lastnight.

The evening came again and she found herself back in the infirmary to relieve the day nurse, Barbara. Barbara was a nice woman, a little older, warm and friendly to the other staff but known to be very strict to the patients. Timing was everything to Barbara. When it was time to eat, she made those patients eat. When it was time to do physical exercise, those men better get out of bed faster than if the Nazi's were shooting at them. Y/N came to the nurses station as Barbara was finishing paperwork. 'They've all had their evening meals and I did their vitals half hour ago. One soldier in particular was very dissapointed to see me at his bedside and not you.' 'Why? Who?' 'Major Egan. He kept asking were you on shift today and when you would be back. Something to tell me?' Y/N blushed, wishing Major Egan and his blue eyes would leave the infirmary already. 'I don't know why he'd care if I was working or not.' She lied. 'I'd say it would have something to do with your little sleepover last night.' 'He told you?!' Forget the infirmary, he was going to the morgue. 'No he didnt, one of the other patients did. Saw you fast asleep on his way to the bathroom.' 'Oh, well he was having trouble sleeping so -' 'They all have trouble sleeping. Their soldiers in a war.' Y/N felt like she was being scolded. 'I'm sorry I just-' 'No need to be sorry, just be careful. I hear he has a reputation.' With that Barbara put on her coat and left for the evening.

She was here. He heard her sweet voice pass by his cubicle. He was suddenly angry at that other nurse for closing the curtain around his bed, preventing him from seeing her. He knew she would be coming to see him eventually, but waiting for that moment was almost more excruciating than his ribs. He felt his eyes tire, but he fought hard to stay awake. Firsty, because of those horrible nightmares, secondly, because he had to see her again. Had to make sure she knew he wasnt just some cocky pilot. Show her the nice Bucky.

It was 1am. As much as she didnt want to, she had to go check on Major Egan. She got to his cubicle and gently pulled back the curtain, expecting him to be asleep by now. But there he was, wide awake. His tired eyes seemed to gain a bit of extra sparkle when he saw her. 'Good Evening Nurse Y/N' she smiled. 'Major Egan you -' 'Bucky' he interrupted her. Confused she said, 'What Major?' 'I told you last night to call me Bucky, remember? You said it was cool.' That made her giggle involuntarily 'I did say that, didn't I? Must have been sleep deprived.' He dramaticly laid a hand over his chest 'Oh wow, that hurt worse than the ribs.' She came closer to him, to take his vitals. It was difficult though when his blue eyes were staring at her like she was a fresh bunch of daisys.

'Everything looks good, you need anything? Any pain meds?' she said with a gentle smile as she released his wrist from her grasp. 'I'm fine Nurse Y/N, thank you.' She turned to leave, and Bucky almost begged her not to. As she walked away from his cubicle she said 'Get some sleep Bucky, it's good for you.' 'Will do Nurse Y/N' just as she was outside his cubicle, she turned on her heel and said 'It's just Y/N. If you're just Bucky, I'm just Y/N.' He smiled, a smile that he felt all through him, 'Okay then. Goodnight Y/N.' 'Goodnight Bucky.'

He tried to sleep, and actually did for a while. He was lost in dreams of Jay Gatsby and Daisy, then dreams of her. Her smiling face. Then his dreams turned sour. Suddenly Y/N was no longer smiling at him. Instead she was crying while being dragged away by Nazis. Planes crashed around him. There were flames everywhere. He could feel the heat on his skin, he was burning. He was dying. 'Bucky! Bucky its okay! Shh.. you're safe.' He woke as he did the night before. Her arms around him, her wispering in his ear. He was covered in sweat and his heart felt like it was going to explode. She started to rub the hair and the nape of his neck, all the while still talking to him in that sweet, caring voice. 'You're okay Bucky. You're in the infirmary. Nobody's going to hurt you.' He managed to calm his breathing enought to let out a quiet 'I'm sorry.' She unwrapped herself from him, sitting on the edge of his bed. 'Don't be sorry. It's a nightmare, you cant help it.' Bucky scoffed 'I'm like a damn kid again. Pathetic.' She grabbed his hand. 'I dont see a kid, and I definitely dont see someone I would call 'pathetic'. You've been through a terrible ordeal, you risk your life on a daily basis. It's normal for what you've been through to affect you. I see a brave soldier, fighting for his country. There is nothing pathetic about that.' She looked to the nightstand to the book she had been reading him, 'The Great Gatsby'. A good book by all accounts, but Bucky had read it so many times now he was getting tired of it. He would however listen to the story a thousand times if she was the one reading it to him. Without a word, she picked up the book to the page on which she had bent the corner. Bucky protested 'You don't have to...' 'I need to know how it ends!' She said with a smile. She began to read again, her soft melodic voice like angles calling him to heaven.

#masters of the air #callum turner #john bucky egan #mota #john egan #masters of the air fanfiction #john egan fanfiction #john egan x reader #john bucky egan x reader

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abbacchiosbelt · 10 months

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you asked for diluc asks and i couldnt help myself, but indulge in it as well.

ive been thinking about an arranged marriage au with diluc, where both of you are kinda like, yeah it is what it is. yall dont like each other romantically, but its tolerable enough. it feels like a surface level friendship between the two of you, so thats something. until one day, everyone around you starts talking about when are you and diluc going to have a baby, because you know, thats kinda a pertinent part in this entire marriage. i mean, you guys didnt get married willy nilly because of some deep passionate love shared between you and diluc. you barely knew him when you had to marry him the moment you were of age. rather, because both your families thought that through your marriage, a child conceived out of it will surely further both family legacies. why else did they get you two together? both families are rich and influential, so you gotta respect family honor somehow.

so, wheres the baby?

tbh, both of you are really not on board with that idea. and so far, have managed to ignore the idea of it for the first few years together. but as you and diluc continue to live together as a married couple, it starts to get a little hard to push this aside. it seems to be your main duty as a couple and you feel the pressure burdening you. you can only ignore it for so long, until you see how your "husband" begins to look at you less with coldness but... with something deeper. with all this baby talk, diluc cant help himself but grow to almost like--no, open to the idea of it. especially with you...maybe it isnt too bad? if you were to become a parent, you'd make a good one, he thinks, because youre nice and caring...youre always eager to help others around you...you always seem happy too, with a pretty smile...and you smell nice...and you have soft skin...have you always looked this beautiful?

you cant help but shiver at the dark glint reflected in his eyes.

but in all honesty, i just kinda wanna see diluc slowly go feral after putting up with all this baby talk </3 one moment hes like, not into it at all. diluc never thought of having kids, ever, in the first place. but then the next moment, hes raising an eyebrow and going: "did this unlock something in me?"

[this could divulge into dark/yan content tbh. bc imagine diluc goes from being fine with sleeping in separate rooms and even letting this marriage be an open relationship, to suddenly forcing you to sleep next to him and demanding that both of you should start acting like a "proper" couple. you ought to listen to him more and to never stray too far from home.]

anon 👀👀👀 this is so tasty!! i am a sucker for arranged marriages gone yandere, but i do like the idea of a regular diluc just getting baby fever from being with you.

and yandere diluc in this scenario... hhh. his possessive side rears its ugly head FAST. he's not forceful about things - he'd never want to hurt you - but he makes it clear that his requests aren't something you can ignore. you'll understand, diluc thinks, when you see how he's going to properly romance you. you're going to treat him like a proper husband now, and that means fulfilling your duties as his spouse...

#long post #yandere cw #dark content cw #arranged marriage #mention of pregnancy #gi diluc

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fish-at-fish-fish-resort · 8 months

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*ring* *ring*

"allo?"

"hey candi, its me mahi"

"oh morning mahi. why're you calling this early? did something happen?"

"more or less. do you think you and ikkan can handle the store alone today? i couldnt sleep a wink last night and REALLY dont feel capable of going to work today. *sniff* i dont wanna lock myself in the bathroom like neta always does hehe"

"take your time darling, well handle the shop today. take care of yourself alright? if you need to talk to someone i can always lend an ear."

"thanks candi. but dont worry, mizoles coming over in a bit anyway. im good. i promise. see you tomorrow."

*click*

"mahi?"

"over here"

"babe..... what happened"

"nothing... im just overreacting...."

"no youre not. tell me whats on your mind"

"youre gonna think its dumb..."

"i should feel insulted you think that about me"

"pff ur right. im just worried about neta and warabi. especially warabi. actually only warabi, i know neta can handle himself. and i know neta said its just a low risk mission but what if something happens to him. what if he gets into some dumb argument with some other soldier and gets beaten up. what if he gets lost. what if he dies. and- and i cant call or text him or anything because they couldnt *hic* couldnt bring their phones and im just so lonely and i dont know what to do without him here *sniff* i miss him so much"

"and its just the 3rd day of their mission and theyll be gone for at least 2 more days and i already cant sleep! i just want him back home.....ugh sorry i probably sound pathetic"

"no you just sound like your wife died"

"i FEEL like my wife died!" *uncontrolled sobbing*

"hey... cmere... look at me. theyll be fine alright? warabi managed to get on netas good side im sure the other soldiers will warm up to him too. plus neta wouldnt let anything happen to his number one employees best friend and husbands bandmate, right? and im sure if it was actually dangerous his parents wouldve intervened"

"*sniff* yeah... youre right.... i just miss him....."

"i have an idea. were gonna have a fun day together: eat breakfast at a nice buffet and go to wahoo world. we can also call your friend, uhhh what was her name? umami??"

"umishi?"

"yeah that one! she can join too! i wanted to get to know her anyway"

"hehe i dont know if shed like to get to know you though"

"whats that supposed to mean?"

"oh nothing nothing hehehe"

"hmmm fine whatever, ill excuse it cause youre cute."

"youre such a sap"

"and you smell like rotten sushi. get in the shower, im cleaning your kitchen"

>this plays parrallel to @yesyourstalker's posts w warabi and neta. :) just thought hmmmm how does mahi feel about this

umishi was metnioned sooooo @catastropic

#guess who decided to attempt words for once.#oc x canon #splatoon oc #mizole #splatsona #fishie #fish at fish fish resort #self insert #self ship #splatoon #fin scratching

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panjakes · 10 months

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FL CHP.6 PJS

parings: Tiger Hybird!Jay x Fox Hybrid fem black reader

Genre: Fluff; Crack; enemies to lovers au; slow burn

Chwarnings: Cursing

HYBED HYBRIDS MASTERLIST Prev Next

"can we talk?" Jay asks making Yn frown

"About?" She asks

"earlier...privatly?" He aska again looking at Maddie

Before yn could respond Maddie was already walking back into her parents shop

"What's too talk about? I voiced my concerns and got cussed out" Yn says folding her arms

"Well your concerns shouldnt be about me. Mind your business when it comes to me" Jay snaps making yn nod

"Your right, They shouldnt concern me when your running away from your home and coming to sleep on my couch but whatever. I'll be seeing you" She says turning around to go back into the shop but jay stops her

"I'm sorry. I dont mean to snap im just not use to people being curious or even worried about me" he says making yn roll her eyes

"If you didnt know The goverment gives money monthly to those who adopt hybrids. I was adopted and Im basiclly my parents cash cow" Jay admits

"What about your sister?" Yn ask

"Cindy is actually their kid. We arent biological siblings" Jay says, ears dropping in sadness

"I'm sorry to hear that" Yn says making jay nod

"Your not, but yes. Thats why I snapped on you earlier. I don’t like really like talking about my family." Jay says

Yn sighs before walking down the steps to give jay a hug which shocked honestly the both of them. Jay's arms stayed by his side very awkwardly not knowing if he should hug back or not

"I am sorry to hear that, everyone deserves a loving family" Yn says making jay nod. The girl pulls back from the hug nodding

"I'll meet you in the library tomorrow after school. Dont be late" Yn says turning away to go inside. Jay stood in front of the shop in utter shock.

He knew he and yn couldnt stand each other but that little heart to heart felt genuine. Not only did it feel genuine he now felt weird, and he looked at yn a little diffrently.

"Did you just hug jay?" Maddie asks

"He needed one" Yn says

"Did he?" Maddie asks sounding bitter

"Yes...He did, whats your problem?" She asks

"Oh nothing...it's just you were complaining about how you hated him and now your hugging him?" She asks with a frown

"Mads...are you okay? Your the one who told me to forgive him" Yn says tilting her head and ears in confusion

"I did but this is getting weird" She says scoffing

"Weird? Madelyn whats really the issue here?" Yn asks

"Theres no issue. I'll see you at school tomorrow" The Koala says brushing past yn

Yn stood in the middle of the flower shop genuine concered and confused

"Yn- where's maddie?" Her mom says

"I uh- she left" Yn says

"Oh I thought you were gonna spend the night over there" Her mom says spraying a couple of flowers with water from a spray bottle

"Yeah...Me too" Yn mumbles before walking to the back

"So, where'd you go?" Cindy asks looking up from her plate of food

"To a friends house" jay says not even touching

"cut the shit Jay You have no freinds" she says rolling her eyes

“Why do you care so much?” Jay asks

“Because your my brother and I care about you” she says making him rolls his eyes

“I’m not your brother cindey and you couldn’t give less than a shit about me” jay mumbles pushing the plate of food to the middle of the table

“Where’s this coming from?” She asks with a pout

Jay says nothing as he gets up from the table and goes to his room. Cindy quickly follows behind wanting to know what’s with his attitude

“Seriously what’s your problem?” She asks

“My problem is I’m sick of this. I’m sick of acting like I belong here when I know for a fact that I don’t!” Jay says

“B-but you do. You do belong here” Cindy says

“Stop it Cindy. I don’t. You don’t even belong here. They don’t care about us!” Jay says

“That’s not true! They love us” she says

“They love you! Your their kid! They’re literally never here! They’re not even here now!!” Jay says

“S-so what’re going to do?” She asks

“I don’t know, but I won’t stay here. I can’t” jay says stuffing clothes into a separate bag from his school bag

“Where are you going to go? Back to that fox girls house?” She asks making jay pause

“How’d you know I was at Yn’s house?” He asks

“I seen you two walking together” she says

“No. I’m not going to her house” jay says walking pass her

“Your just gonna leave me here?! Alone!?” Cindy asks

“As if you aren’t use to being alone” jay mumbles before leaving the cat girl shocked with her jaw on the floor

The next day…at school Yn couldn’t help but notice that jay couldn’t focus.

“Mr.Park! Can you please focus?!” The teacher says shaking jay from his thoughts

“Uh yeah, sorry” jay says

“Doesn’t matter, the bells about to ring start packing up” the teacher says making the class pack up their things

Yn stares at jay noticing hie out of it he was. She doesn’t say anything. She just packs her things and makes her way to the library where she said she’d meet him at.

5 minutes go by and jay still wasn’t there so decided she’d start on her homework from history.

Another 5 minutes go by and jay still wasn’t in the library. Yn sighs and decided she’d give Jay until she runs to the vending machine to get to the library.

Coming back from from the vending machine he still wasn’t there. She sighs and starts packing her things but stops when she hears the door open and it walks jay on his phone

“Your 15 minutes later” Yn says sighing

“Yeah I know” he says waving her off taking a seat across from her

“Okay…what do you wanna do first?” She asks

“Uhh English ” he says pulling out his history book

“Uh jay?” Yn says

“What Yn?”

“That’s your history book” she says making him look away from his phone.

“Oh shit, sorry” he says pulling out the right book

“Maybe you should put your phone down, we have a test on the canterbury tales and you don’t seem focus” Yn says

“Your right, I’m sorry let’s do this” jay says putting his phone down

Soon they were studying but it didn’t last long because 6 minutes in, jay was looking back down at his phone

“So who is lady macbeth and what is her role in the story?” Yn asks

“She’s the maid…or some shit” jay mumbles making Yn sigh

“Yeah…the maid. So who’s banquo” Yn asks

“He’s the…” jay trials off

Yn sighs rolling her eyes. Jay wasnt focus at all.

“I-I’ll be back” jay says throwing his phone on the table and rushing out the library. Yn groans grabbing at her fro. She was growing frustrated with jay. Taking the pink scrunchie off her wrist putting her fro into a puff ball

After two minutes jay still wasn’t back but his phone was ringing nonstop. Usually she wouldn’t even look at anyone’s phone but hers but the device had him distracted and she wanted to know why.

Was it his sister? His friends? Wait he didn’t have any friends. Was it his parents? Was it a girl? Why’d she care?

She peaks over at the screen and it seem to be an on going conversation or maybe even an argument with his parents. She didn’t see all the messages but she definitely seen the words ‘brat’ and ‘ungrateful’

She makes an O shape with her mouth. He really didn’t have a good relationship with his parents. She felt bad. He still wasn’t back so she decided to go see if he was okay

She peeks out the door to see jay leaning against a wall with his face in his hands

“Jay? You okay?” Yn asks going over to him

He doesn’t say anything but he made a noise which sounded like a sob?

“Jay? What’s wrong?” Yn asks grabbing at his wrist only for him to push her back

“Got damn leave me the fuck alone yn!” He says scaring her. Her red and black ears drop down in sadness and confusion

“I-I seen your phone, I just want to know if your okay?” She says making jay groan and wipe his face

“Your such a nosey bitch! Just leave me the hell alone” jay says shocking Yn.

He takes a look at her shock face and immediately regrets everything

“Yn- I didn’t mean it im sorry” he says reaching out for her. She shakes her head slapping his hands away

“I may have been wrong for looking at your phone but it was all out of concern for you. You didn’t have to push me or call me a bitch” Yn says, brown skin feeling really hot from how angry she was

“Yn I’m sorry” jay says

“Fuck you jay, find yourself a new tutor” Yn says walking away leaving the tiger hybrid feeling very regretful and really bad about his actions.

Chapter 7 will be on @brownsugarbaybee’s blog so follow her to be kept in the Loop!

#ambw fic #black reader #ambw #black girls are beautiful #black reader insert #kpop poc #kpop #x black reader #x black!reader #kpop imagines #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x black reader #hybrid!reader #hybrid!enhypen

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pesterass · 5 months

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twistedEcclesiastic [TE] began trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

TE: I aM herE ouT oF purE fuckinG desperatioN. I aM minD-fuckinG fuckinglY fuckinG BOREd TE: mY matespriT iS DEAd oR likE probablY sleepinG anD I donT reallY talK tO anythinG elsE?? TE: anD yourE A faT stupiD fuckinG punchinG baG anD thatS FUn. NYEHEHEHEH TC: aww im really that entertaining to you? : P TC: i thought you had lots of other troll friends karmis! what happened?? TE: dO yoU havE dementiA?? wheN diD I eveR saY I havE trolL friendS I fuckinG HATe EVERYONe TC: well they all seem to know about you! i just figured you were all friends : ) TC: so if your lying your not really doing a good job of it right now : P TE: thatS jusT becausE I makE enemieS whereveR I gO NYEHEHEHEH TE: fucK thA haterS TC: haha true : ) TC: arent you a hater though? TC: just like in general TE: yeaH duH. fucK mE fucK yoU I donT givE A shiT! NYEH TE: whateveR. I donT carE foR labelS TC: thats cool me neither : ) TC: your friends are cool though i think you should hate on them a little less TE: ugH fucK WHo arE yoU EVEn TALKINg ABOUt???!!!! TC: ummm TC: well i met rozzie the robot and the guy that built him TC: he made it sound like your friends with him : ) TC: unless he was lying? TC: i dunno he sounded kind of tricky TE: STOp TYPINg!!! TC: WHAT? TE: STOp TE: rozziE iS NOt mY "frienD". fuckinG perioD! enD oF storY!! TE: itS A triggeR happY psychopathiC littlE freaK anD thaT nerD lukE needS tO keeP iT oN A leasH TC: his name is luke? TC: you guys are aliens and one of you is named luke? TE: welL youR namE iS ryaN. NYEHEHEH TE: hiS namE iS lukeiS anywayS TC: luke is what? TE: lukeiS TC: oh thats his name? TC: how do you even pronouns that TE: whaT iS fuckinG wronG witH yoU arE yoU actuallY braiN damageD? TC: no im actually normal!! sheesh TC: anyways LUKEIS (still weird) says that hes your best friend : ) TC: trust me! TE: whaT fuckinG eveR? I donT reallY carE TC: are you sure? TE: arE yoU stupid? TC: i dunno! TC: you came to me for entertainment so you dont get to complain TC: dummy TC: hey so whats a matesprit? is that another weird word your going to make fun of me for not knowing about TE: yeS iT iS! NYEH. lonelY loseR dickwaD TE: alsO I donT knoW whaT itS likE oN youR stupiD planeT buT oN ourS wE havE A littlE thinG calleD freedoM oF insultS sO I caN complaiN alL I wanT TC: yeah i guess we have something like that! its called bullying TE: "meeeH meeH meeH mY namE iS wayaN yourE bullyinG mE becausE iM sO stupiD anD I donT eveN knoW whaT A matespriT iS oR probablY eveN hoW tO spelL halF thE alphabeT meeH meeH" TC: i didnt say that! TE: yeS yoU diD looK yoU jusT diD, weirdO TC: how come your allowed to complain but im not? thats kind of stupid TC: if your going to try to be mean you might as well be fair about it! >: P TE: therE yoU fuckinG gO agaiN beinG thE mosT stupiD persoN iN thE fuckinG universE. itS likE yourE ADDICTED TE: I neveR eveR saiD yoU couldnT complaiN itS jusT youR complaintS arE 1.stupiD 2.dumB 3.bullshiT 4.pathetiC(verY) 5.donT matteR. NYEH TE: NYEHEHEH TC: i guess but you complain about EVERYTHING TC: literally every single little thing TC: i think that makes your complaints even more pointless TC: i dont really take you seriously anymore : P TE: diD I asK yoU thougH? TE: XP TC: hehehe TE: yoU caN takE mE seriouslY oR noT, aS lonG aS yourE stilL A stupiD nobodY I wiN X) TE: yoU arE fuckinG dirT undeR mY cooL shoeS, PATHETIc TE: NYEHEHEHEH TC: suuuuure karmis : P TE: lalalalalalalA I canT heaR yoU TC: yeah you can : ) TE: whaT? TC: okay if you cant here me then i guess you wont react to me calling you a STUPID JERK TC: karmis smells like AAAAAAAAAAASS!!! >: D TE: nyeH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH X) TC: nyehehe! >: P TE: heY thatS My THINg TWERp TC: SEE you heard me : D

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] ceased trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

#homestuck #pesterass #homestuck oc #fantroll #karmis gazmaz #ryan carter

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kath-artic · 5 days

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ugghh thinking.

the reason in so upset is that i was doing so well before all of this happened. i was ready to have a healthy relationship with someone again. and then because i had the apparent audacity to go on a date with someone while my friend was still getting over her ex, i was told i should kill myself and that i would never find meaningful connection again. suddenly i couldnt see most of my friends anymore and suddenly he became the only person i had. i hate that i've been made to rely on him this way. i remember when things were starting out and i told him that my happiness didnt depend on him. as much as talking to him made me happy, i was happy before i met him too. i was so happy and normal and now im losing sleep waiting for him to text me back because him not talking to me means i have nobody to talk to. it's not good. something has to give. i think im gonna text him soon to let him know i care about him and im there if he needs me, but otherwise i think im gonna take a step back from it all because i dont think im a healthy person to be with right now. it just sucks that other people can decide to take everything from you. that someone can just decide youve abandoned them and that no amount of apologizing will make you a human being worth treating with kindness again. all i was was a doll in a dollhouse and the moment i stopped acting in accordance with the role that was dreamed up for me i became some horrible monster who apparently deserved to be raped. and now because of that my knee jerk reaction is fear again. i had unlearned that fear. and now its back. why do i have to give everything up and heal just because someone else hurt me? it's not fair, and i know thats just the way things go but it doesnt make it hurt any less. im gonna try to reconnect with as many of my friends as possible, but i think im gonna try to figure out a way to get to my aunt's house and stay there for a month or two. i was hoping i could go up to canada with her for a week to help my grandparents settle in for the summer, but things are too complicated up there for her to be able to pick me up from the airport. idk. i know leaving shit behind is what fixed me last time, but i struggled to do it then too. im just scared of leaving behind the people that still care about me. what i REALLY wish i could do is go out to bumfuck nowhere washington for like a month and just live with my buddies nick and aidan. i think that would unironically fix my life in a much more significant way

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sosos-adventures · 3 months

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Sleepertrain to Hoi An. Or close to it (50min away).

Taking a sleepertrain can be fun they said. More comfy they said. This is what you should know: there are different types of tickets you can get for the train.

Seats - really nice option for shorter trips

First class sleeper- 4 beds in one compartment.

Second class sleeper- 6 beds in one conpartment but same size as the first class. So less space to sit/sleep

We had to take second class sleeper tickets because everythingelse was sold out. As we travel day by day and dont know where we go next, we couldnt book a train in advancem usually its for the best to book a ticket 4-8 days in advance. And now the fub part. Being super tall (180cm) means there will not be much space to actually get some good sleep. The beds are peobably 180cm long vut it felt like 175. I couldnt get my legs all the way straight so they were always angled. So far not a problem :) but as we were rold to take care of our belongings it was hard to actually keeo an eye on them. Here is a picture of how much space there is for "storage":

So we had 2 options. Either take our big backpack between our legs/feet or get them on the top bed, as only 2 other people and a child were in the compartment so far. We decided to put our bags ob the top beds and luckily nobodyelse showed up during the entire ride. However other struggles happened and actually I think it was quite funny because it wouldnt be fun if there werent some storys to tell. So here the are:

1: Vietnamese way of fixing things: so far I have seen several times that many things dont really work anymore but people dont fix it. Like broken sockets, open stuff that can not gwt closed anymore etc. In our compartment, there was a switch for a lock on our door but no lock. Same qith the lighr. Part of the switches were szill there, others like the one for the AC and the speaker were partly broken. Therefore all of a sudden our speaker started to play some extremeley loud music dor about 5min ubtil the other people of our compartment (thankfully tvey were vietnamese) asked for help. The co ductor came and tried to fix it by just randlumy pushing the buttons. He even had to came back and did the same tbing when our AC broke. Sadly our AC broke again like 2 hours before arrival but we had no idea where and how to find and talk to the conductor. So it became a very hot night.

2: keeping the door closed: my friend had to sleep in a position where she could keep the door shut as every time when the train was moving too weirdly or stopped, the door opened completely and didnt close again.

3: cuddling our backpacks. Keeping our belongings safe meant having our small backpack right next to us and under the blanket. And as the space was already qzite limited, we looked ridiculous.

4: roomies for the night. We actually got really luck with the vietnamese people. They were quite and clean. Our neighbours were asian ladies in there 50ies who had the time of their lifes by tjrowing parties, wiping the floor for some reason, laughing and doing other weird shit. Other compartments had up to 5 kids in 1 bed.

5: how to get up to your bed. In Germany when there are multiple bed on top of each other, we ha a leddar. Here the just have a silve little thingy they can pull out and you need to step on it. It is aczually really hard to get to your bed this way.

6: being tall. No matter if its about trying to sit on the bed or trying to drink or the lenght if the bed, being tall is not that easy on that train. But we somehow managed anyway :)

All in all it was a good experience and makes me appreciate Deutsche Bahn. This is me trying to enjoy the sun before going to bed :)

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burnerblog333332 · 7 months

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twistedEcclesiastic [TE] began trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

TE: "meeeH meeH meeH mY namE iS wayaN yourE bullyinG mE becausE iM sO stupiD anD I donT eveN knoW whaT A matespriT iS oR probablY eveN hoW tO spelL halF thE alphabeT meeH meeH" TC: i didnt say that! TE: yeS yoU diD looK yoU jusT diD, weirdO TC: how come your allowed to complain but im not? thats kind of stupid TC: if your going to try to be mean you might as well be fair about it! >: P TE: therE yoU fuckinG gO agaiN beinG thE mosT stupiD persoN iN thE fuckinG universE. itS likE yourE ADDICTED TE: I neveR eveR saiD yoU couldnT complaiN itS jusT youR complaintS arE 1.stupiD 2.dumB 3.bullshiT 4.pathetiC(verY) 5.donT matteR. NYEH TE: NYEHEHEH TC: i guess but you complain about EVERYTHING TC: literally every single little thing TC: i think that makes your complaints even more pointless TC: i dont really take you seriously anymore : P TE: diD I asK yoU thougH? TE: XP TC: hehehe TE: yoU caN takE mE seriouslY oR noT, aS lonG aS yourE stilL A stupiD nobodY I wiN X) TE: yoU arE fuckinG dirT undeR mY cooL shoeS, PATHETIc TE: NYEHEHEHEH TC: suuuuure karmis : P TE: lalalalalalalA I canT heaR yoU TC: yeah you can : ) TE: whaT? TC: okay if you cant here me then i guess you wont react to me calling you a STUPID JERK TC: karmis smells like AAAAAAAAAAASS!!! >: D TE: nyeH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH X) TC: nyehehe! >: P TE: heY thatS My THINg TWERp TC: SEE you heard me : D

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] ceased trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

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journalsandshit · 7 months

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10/27/2023 - letter (retrospective from 03/31/2023)

dear jack,

i know you dont think about this or even remember it really, and i know that you never even considered how awful this was, or how unreasonable, but i feel like it is important for you to know that i still think about this every single day, and it still hurts and scares me every god damned time, even if youll never actually read this.

on march 29th of this year you asked - no, you told - me to give you all of my clothes back. it was a casual moment that didnt mean anything at all to you, but it quite literally changed my life for the worse. we were in my car, i was driving, and i was bringing you home. we were coming up on the intersection by the gas station and walgreens near your house, and, seemingly out of nowhere, you told me that you wanted your clothes back. its not like i couldve said no, so i said yes of course you could, and then i asked you why. i think about your answer at least two or three times a week.

you said that you wanted them back because "were not dating and its weird that [i] wear your clothes all of the time." those were your words, your exact words. i couldnt tell you at the time but that shattered me. everyone thought we were dating, we knew that, we didnt care, we even joked about it, i though we were comfortable enough in our relationship to not care about what other people thought. i guess i was wrong.

i fought tears the rest of the drive to your house. when you got out of the car and left i pulled out of the driveway and parked around the corner. i sat there stunned for probably close to ten minutes. then i drove home, crying the whole time.

when i got home i was the only one there. i went to my room and gathered up most of what was yours (i forgot the graceland jacket because it was hanging up in my closet.) and folded it into a pile. i checked to make sure my mom and tiernan werent pulling in yet and then brought them all out to my trunk. for some reason, i felt like them knowing what was going on would have made it so much worse. i know if my mom had found out she would have asked what was going on between us, if we had fought or something like that, and i know that i wouldnt have been able to stop myself from crying when i told her that i didnt know what happened and that you had just decided you waned everything back out of nowhere. so i didnt tell them. i was heartbroken, but i kept quiet about it all night.

i cried harder than i had in a long time that night, for hours and hours. i didnt sleep, i just laid there trying to figure out how the hell i was going to ask you what was going on.

i knew i had to ask because i couldnt keep living thinking i had done something wrong, but i was so afraid that you would give me an answer that only made it worse. i rehearsed my lines over and over again until i felt like i had a shot at saying them in a way that wouldnt give up how terrifying it was to ask. i settled on "hey, theyre your clothes so obviously you can have them back if you want them, but i was kinda wondering why all the sudden its an issue?" looking back, i think i should have been stronger than that because i was pretty sure i knew what was going on, but i was heartbroken and afraid so i did what i would. then i tried to figure out what i was going to wear the next day. i wore your jacket every single day for no real reason other than it was the most confrontable and i was more depressed then than i had been in months (better than im doing now but still very, very bad), and the more depressed i am the less i change up my outfits and the more i wear "safe" clothes that i know wont get me too much attention. i couldnt figure out if i was allowed to wear that jacket still, because we had decided that we were gonna permanently trade those, your shakespeare zip up for my green one. i decided to wear it, and tell you to bring "my" jacket when you came out to the car in the morning.

the next day, i woke up to a text from you that read "Hey can you put my clothes into a bag or something and bring them to school? I'd appreciate it thanks fr being cool about it." i answered that they were already in the car. tying that out hurt me a lot more than it should have, but reading your message broke something. not only did you want the clothes back but you wanted them bad enough to remind me, who never, ever forgot to do things that you asked, to bring them.

i got ready anyway and drove to your house. i sent the "omw" and "were out front" texts as usual, but i added another one that said to bring me my jacket because i was afraid that you saw me wearing yours you would get mad and tell me to give it to you and that i wouldnt have one without it. you waled out of your house without it, though, so i deleted the message and hoped that you wouldnt notice.

you got in and immediately asked where the clothes were. i told you they were in the trunk. when we got to school and left the car, you came to the trunk with me to get my bag and pointed out that graceland was missing. i said i was sorry and that id bring it next time i saw you. saying that hurt too, because i used to be able to say tomorrow and be confident that it would happen, now, though, i sometimes wouldnt see you all weekend or after school for a whole week. when we started walking in, i asked you why the way i had been practicing since i said bye to you the night before. i think i sounded more nervous than i had wanted to.

you said that carolina was uncomfortable with it. i said that i had figured but i waned to make sure. im still mad that i let you off that easily. carolinas a bitch, always has been, always will be. i should have asked why you were listening to her. i should have asked why you cared what she thought. i should have asked why she got so fucking insecure all of the sudden. why she decided to take that out on us instead of figuring it out with you. why she couldnt pull her fucking shit together and act like a god damned adult and realize that she cant have complete control over your friendships all the god damned time try as she fucking might. there are so many things i should have said, but i was afraid and weak and relieved to know that it wasnt you, even if you werent doing anything to help me.

i let the topic drop and we continued on, but i shouldnt have had to be okay with that answer, because it wasnt okay, it was weak and pathetic and i was so mad at you for letting that happen. i couldnt believe all the shit you would get so mad about while you just allowed my whole world to come crashing down because of you and your stupid fucking girlfriend. and i couldnt believe that you never even noticed how it affected me.

like.. i know its not normal for friends to share things and act the way that we do. (well, actually, its very normal, but its not normal with friendships that are between-what looks like-a boy and a girl.) i know that. but it was our normal. we had always been okay with that. and that you let other people, ESPECIALLY someone as dumb and entitled as carolina, get involved with us really pisses me off. it hurts like hell that you let her get in the middle of this just because she was insecure because you like to go fuck other girls and pretend it doesnt bother her.

a few weeks went by and i had adjusted. i wasnt happy, and every time i thought about it it got worse, but i had gotten to a point where it wasnt impacting my day to day so much that i was crying over it all the time. i still wore your jacket every day, though, because it was comfortable and i needed that comfort with everything else that was going on.

and then, just like that, carolina comes right back to make you make my life hell.

it was at lunch, she made some comment about how i wear your jacket too much. i said i liked it and it was comfy, plus no one even knows that its yours anyway, so it didnt really matter. you, instead of helping me or just staying the fuck out of it like you should have, decided that you should butt in and say "well you dont have to wear it every day" then your little bitch got such a proud look on her ugly fucking face (she is ugly, i dont know how you dont see it) and cuddles into you so hard i almost threw up.

i went to sculpture and just about lost my god damned mind thinking about how i shouldve just knocked her tf out (verbally or otherwise). i was so sick of having to play nice with that asshole just because you liked to fuck her

and then? guess what? i never wore the jacket to school again. not one time. i cant believe it. i let that fucking drama queen win. im so mad at myself for it, too. i cant believe i let her think shed won something because i didnt want to make your life harder. because that what it always was, wasnt it? i never said anything because i didnt want to make you have to defend me, or pick sides, or, god forbid, tell her to get her fucking shit together and act like a god damned grown up. your life needed to be a hell of a lot harder so you would finally see how much of an ass she was, but i was too nice and patient with you two and your bullshit, so you just got to coast and i had to suffer.

i know if i said this to you in real life youd probably completely ignore all the shit you did wrong and just justify her feelings even though youre not together anymore because you couldnt bear to comprehend the fact that you spend two and a half years of your life dating a completely moronic bitch who never actually liked you and probably ruined any future relationships you have along the way, so im just writing this here ig so that i can pretend that youd care a little bit if i told you.

those few months, february to may, were some of the worst of my life up until that point (it got so much worse over the summer but i had no idea that was coming yet), and a lot of that was completely your fault. in the past, ive blamed your girlfriend and her friends that you were dumb enough to let her keep around, but the more i think about it the more im realizing that it was literally all your fault. you could have told all of them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone at any time, but you didnt care enough to even see what was going on with me, so, now, im blaming you too. youll never see this so it doesnt matter, but i hope someday ill be able to tell you how awful this all was, and maybe, just maybe, youll actually apologize to me for how much you hurt me. i didnt deserve any of that and you put me through it over and over again because youre too weak to stand up to anyone and too self absorbed to realize that you pick really shit people to engage with. all of your friends and girlfriends are such assholes and you dont realize that and so i have to suffer and its not fucking fair and i wish so badly you knew how hurt i am so you could say that youre fucking sorry you did this to me even though i know damn well youre not a little bit sorry and youll probably blame everyone but the people responsible, me included

i wish you understood

bye

#10/27/2023 #letter #retrospective #03/31/2023 #jack

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aromanticle · 11 months

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on top of that i also have to admit that every single bad experience i've had this past year + few months with people were all really my fault

i literally cannot blame someone for not knowing they were making me uncomfortable and hurting me especially when i encouraged them so much

i had a very bad night yesterday at sagu's boyfriend's house and this night her other bf was here while i was putting on my makeup and he was like mostly joking around but instead of telling him to stop i was just. honestly straight up encouraging him to make me as uncomfortable as possible. not directly but i know he couldnt have possibly known i was feeling pretty awful. neither could the guy last night when i willingly went to his house and said "yes im staying the night" and gave zero signs that i actually wished i was anywhere but there, because deep inside that's not true and i wanted to make myself feel bad so much that instead of asking him to drive me home i stayed in his room sitting on the floor next to the outlet because i felt too uncomfortable and unsafe to sleep. if i actually didn't want to feel unsafe i wouldn't keep coming back to people who treat me badly and couldn't care less about me, i wouldnt have accepted marcus's proposal, i wouldnt keep making new meeff accounts and wandering away from my friends and trying so hard to make the shadiest looking guys in any given place notice me. no matter how you look at it im the only reason i keep having really bad experiences every other week.

except for this time, which i guess is what makes it so infinitely worse and scarier and more traumatizing and its why i have been cryiing in anger and disgust and shame and why the moment i walked into a safe place those memories were instantly blocked and repressed and maybe even entirely forgotten. ive been actively looking for awful things to happen to me and ive put so much effort into making myself as vulnerable and easy to hurt as possible to satisfy my own desires that i forgot how it feels to experience things i actually don't want as opposed to things that would be terrible in any other context except for this very specific one, where even though i feel awful, its the kind of awful that brings back a certain sense of comfort and possibly nostalgia.

this, somehow, makes the whole situation so much worse. to think that all this time i thought i was re-living my early childhood in a way that would help me get over it when in fact i was just suffering for no reason and now that i got to experience what it really was like back then i realize it is as absolutely devastating and horrifying as i thought. i should have known because it hasnt even been that long. in fact, sometimes i randomly feel really bad and immediately know why. i should have known my silly little attempts at making myself the victim of several different things do not feel the same as actually having something really bad happen for real. i guess i just thought i was over it and it didnt hurt me anymore but i only felt that way because i was intentionally putting myself through it. in conclusion im so stupid i regret everything i dont want to ever leave my house again im in pain i want to sleep i want to go back in time i want to have never been born but i also know none of this will stop me from going right back into doing everything i just said i regret

#vent #personal #negativity

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annngelicss · 1 year

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December 21st, 2022 at 2:56 am

it feels so stupid to say.

But i never saw myself without you.

Who am i, without you?

I wasnt exactly sure how to adjust to the fallout of my routine when you left.

why was the other end of my phone so silent?

I couldn’t sleep without hearing you breathe.

Why was nobody asking me about how my day is at work?

I often cried during my lunches.

Why did my heart feel so empty?

You were gone.

You’d been gone, for awhile.

Your absence was only a physical matter, now.

But I could feel it days prior.

Weeks.

Months.

I brushed it off, maybe it was just another rough patch, another phase we’d go through?

But the realization became harder to swallow; when it was too evident.

It became hard when the lingering of your fingertips against my skin stung, like a fresh wound.

When the plant of your kiss onto my lips became careless, and no longer valuable, vigilant.

The look in your eyes began to startle me because I could no longer see you.

Smaller moments with you became more significant, as i often had to remind myself to be happy to be in these moments, because pretty soon, there would be nothing left.

I am now only able to relive moments when i close my eyes, when i walk past a familiar place in the halls, when i sit in a certain spot in my house, or when i scroll too far into my photo gallery.

but when things are too silent, I think about when we first met.

I miss how much you adored me, how innocent your love once really was.

I miss the moments when it felt like it was just me and you, when my heart was at peace with you, and me.

I miss my beauty and my soul.

I miss when i had just enough love for the both of us.

I miss being unintentionally perfect for you.

And maybe just maybe I started to miss these things too early.

Maybe my hurt is what started to make me less appealing, less desirable.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed silent about your distance.

if i should have stood silent about the fact that you often prioritized people who would beat down on who you were over me.

if i should have stood silent because I never felt properly heard. I felt like you never cared.

I wish i would have stayed silent.

I wish i would have just stayed an accessory.

I wish i would have stayed the same from the beginning to the end.

At least for a little longer, because maybe then i’d still have you.

But you told me after a while you awaited that day.

The day i sat in the cold with you, dug into your chest, hiding my face in the crook of your neck, and sobbed because all i wanted was to hear you say you’d try one more time.

but my heart only sunk further into my stomach with each word you spoke, with each time your hand raised up to my face to wipe my tears, with each look into your eyes.

I would only dive back into you, gripping the access of your sweater harder,

and from above your tears watered me, as if I was a flower, and you were my rain.

The way you held me as time went on through that moment only scarred me further cause even though you felt different, your comfort didn’t feel different.

How long had it truly been since you hadn't felt the same?

Why did you stay silent as i begged for your honesty?..

Why did you allow me to rot as I continued to give myself away?

Why did you keep taking?

Why did you feel you had the right to use me, my body, and my love as if you still loved me, as if you viewed me as someone who was forever?

I hated that.

And I started to hate bits of you.

I started to hate that i couldnt not love you.

Even on those nights where i sat alone on my bathroom floor holding myself while i cried.

On those nights where i lost sleep because you didnt have enough courtesy to respond to my text.

On those days where i forgave you when you shouldnt have been forgiven, because i couldnt stand to be apart from you.

I can't say, now, if it was worth it or not.

I have this overflowing amount of disgust for you, for everything you were, for everything you said and failed to say.

even as my love for you remains the same.

None of the memories we share have a label of happiness or sadness, they're just there and they tauntingly dance around my heart, producing the slightest bit of hope that you’ll come back to me one last time.

I'm not sure if I'd do it again or if I'd trade anything in this world to relive what we had. Cause in all honesty i was never really living.

I am sure that i will never forgive you, or myself, for how things ended, for how you forced me to stop loving you, for how you blamed me for not being the same loving and forgiving person you fell in love with.

For your lack of grief, and your boost in ego.

I don't genuinely wish bad on you, or the next girl who gets to have you.

I just hope now, you recognize the love I had for you. I hope you realize what you did to me, my body, my mind, my heart and my memory. I hope you yearn for the love that went unnoticed, I hope you grieve me as I grieved you. and I hope you really understand and see how much I truly sacrificed for you and me.

#heartbreak #rant #late night #iwrotethisforschool.#poem #poetry #love

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