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cause-i-am-a-mastermind · 1 year

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not to be a crazy swiftie, but i have a theory about midnights....

it might not even be new, but it's new to me, okay?

i wanna say, that I don't know shit about Taylor-lore, all i know is just bits and bobs and the bops (haha), that's all the context i have.

if you observe the songs in order:

lavender haze - the start of the relationship, start of lover era. it's a new relatioship, he's so accepting of her and all the drama that was around her, she feels the lavender haze creeping up on her (lover album - baby blue and pink clouds, pink+blue=purple -> lavender haze) she's so in love that she doesn't even care what people are saying ("talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral, get it off your chest, get it off my desk")

maroon - the start of the end, a happy memory in the present, but looking back, it's all shades of red. "Red" is a song, in which she describes love as red. she described the love she felt towards him as golden in Daylight. looking back to the happy memory, she realises that he might not be the one, although she still loves him. comparing red and maroon (with burgundy and the other shades she used) we can feel like she really grew up between the two songs, these darker shades of red feel more mature

anti-hero - it all ties back to being a people pleaser (as she called herself in her newly released song" you're losing me"), the relationship isn't working out, so she tries to find the problem in herself. what I'm unsure about is the identity of the anti-hero. is it Taylor who finds all the faults of the relationship rooting from her, or is it Joe, who does not even seem to notice them? it's also notable, that she didn't leave Joe inher will in the music video. they either already broke up, or she already lost faith in the relationship lasting much longer.

snow on the beach - it was a good night. she thought the spark between them was gone, but that night was different, and it gave her hope. it's weird, it's like a dream, something she didn't think would happen, just like seeing snow on the beach. "I can't speak, afraid to jinx it" it made her so happy to have the spark back, but she's scares to mention it, just in case.

you're on your own kid - this song is a bit different, it could be interpreted in completely different contexts, but it also feels like they started to spend time apart from eachother. she's still hopeful, and is still looking to change herself, in case she can save the relationship. but it's just not working out. the one she loved the most, the one she thought was THE ONE just isn't, she's feeling lost like she's all alone in this world.

midnight rain - i saw someone say this was actually from Joe's pov, and it kinda makes sense. maybe both character's are Joe. "he" is his younger self, maybe from before they met, the one, who was looking for a bride. but it all changed, he changed, just like a day changes to another when midnight hits, a completely new day, a new person. the "I" is his current self, the one who is only chasing fame, wanting to make his own name. the song shows, how Taylor feels it's her fault that he changed. Before he met her, it wasn't a problem, but once they started dating, he was known as Taylor Swift's boyfriend, so he wanted to make his own name. this wouldn't have happened, if it wasn't for Taylor, so she simply blames herself.

question...? - i might be just dumb for this, I don't see anything in this, might be about cheating, or just thinking about cheating??? idk. she might started to realize she can't keep blaming only herself

vigilante shit - she's just in her girlboss era, don't mind her, she's servinggg

bejeweled - she gave him everything, he gave nothing. she's a bad bitch and she shows it. she was less public during the relationship, but she's still bejeweled, she can still make the whole place shimmer. "i polish up real nice". he gave up his chance, of always being first, so he now has to "wait in line" - he didn't put her first, so why would she?

labyrinth - he's trying to win her back, and it's working, kind of, but she knows, she can't let go of her walls, despite that being what everyone expects of her

karma - this song is for anyone who wronged her, but there are three, who got a verse dedicated to them, and i believe the third might be for Joe "ask me what I learned from all those years, ask me what I earned from all those tears"

sweet nothing - finding the pebble brings back a memory, that he might not be the villain she made him to be. she might have realised, that she went to the other extreme, that instead of blaming it all on herself, she was blaming it all on him. but it's not like that, it's not black and white, they both had parts in why it didn't work out.

mastermind - she's thinking about how they met, and the fact, that she was pulling the strings, which is a romantic gesture, kind of, but it does feel a bit artificial. we all have this belief that meeting our soulmate just happens, it's supposed to be love at first sight, and she might be feeling like she ruined their chances by pulling some strings right at the start.

the bonus tracks don't seem to follow any chronological order.

the great war - it ties the songs together, it makes the story a whole. when the relationship started to fail, she had everything bottled inside of her. she fought her feelings alone, although he tried to be there for her, it was just feeding the fire. she was blaming him, and despite seeing the situation more clearly, it was the great war. their biggest fight, they couldn't just "plant a memory garden" and act as if nothing happened. "the worst was over" "we survived the great war" they thought this was a huge fight and it's over, but the first world war was also called the great war, until the second happened, so the song title was also foreshadowing another fight.

some people think Bigger than the whole sky describes a miscarriage. which would make a lot of sense, as that tends to have its toll on relationships.

paris - 'yeah, nothing bad happened, we were in paris, remember?' this might be about how the public had no clue about the hard patch they were experiencing, this is the version, that we heard, thinking everything is fine and they love eachother more than ever. "romance is not dead if you keep it just yours" - that's a fucking lie, their romance was literally dying, but they couldn't just say that

high infidelity - it's either about her cheating on him. or the fact, that his feeling were never as strong as hers "the slowest is never loving them enough". maybe april 29th is not the day she cheated, but the one, where she soent the whole time daydreaming about them being married (second verse)

glitch - it completely disregards how she described their meeting in Mastermind. they weren't supposed to become a thing, it just happened, it was just up to chance, that she wasn't "in someone else's playground". the whole relationship happened because of a glitch, she didn't want to have a serious relationship

dear reader - she's talking about her experiences and giving advice, but her main advice is "never take advice from someone who's falling apart" but she's the one falling apart, you shouldn't take her advice, because she's so hurt that she can't see straight ("you should find another") - at first it's just whispers, then at the end, she's the one who tells the "reader" that they should find someone else to take advice from

hits different - this song is after the breakup, but doesn't make it too obvious, but might be the reason it was not online until now. it's not easy for her to move on, because he wasn't just 'one of those Kens, she'd just ghost'. "now the sum burns my heart" this line is referencing Daylight (love is golden like daylight) - love is burning her heart. the breakup made her a mess, she's crying over objects, she goes on tangents about him, so she doesn't get invited anywhere anymore, she still hopes for him to come back

#taylor swift #midnights #midnights 3am #midnights 3am version #taylor swift midnights #am i reaching too far #am i reading too much into this?#you're losing me still needs to ripen in my brain #i love to read to much into things #it's like my hobby #proofreading is for losers #i hope I won't regret wasting 3 hours on this shit #i will probably get embarassed and private this #midnights theory #be honest should i check myself into the nearest mental institution?#I shouldn't have drank that coffee #i am high on caffeine

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angryborzois · 4 months

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I need to decorate my room more I just realized how dull it looks

#angryborzois rambles #istg everything here is monochrome #this is what happens when you dont have a favorite color #it doesnt help that i dont have a color printer so everything i make to put up is also black and white LMFAO #i need more green i think #maybe fake plants will work #i dont like hanging things so ill have to improvise about what i add #but yeah i should probably stop making my room seem like a mental institution LFMADOSFO

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piebingo · 2 months

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To me Wille’s character development this season is just such a good commentary on the environment he grew up in. On monarchies. How could he turn out any different than a mean, sad mess? When he’s never had a choice (he joins the choir because he likes Simon yeah, which is sweet, but also does he even like anything that he wasn’t told he should like)? When he doesn’t even know that he’s privileged (and on one side he’s got Simon telling him that everything is bad, on the other crowds of people telling him everything is good)? When the system is so oppressive that he’s alone at 16, with the responsibility and guilt of making his mom less sick or he’ll have to take her whole ass job. Of course Wille turned out bad. This is what we’ve been seeing for the whole series, that the oppressive systems like the monarchies are bad for everyone, either stuck in it or outside of it. It drives people to destroy everyone else for power (August). It drives people to cover whole ass crimes that their kids are victims of just to keep a fake reputation (the Queen). And now, it drives a grieving, lost and neglected kid to do the same thing to those he loves because that’s all he knows.

And there you’ve got Simon, who’s the first "thing" Wille has ever liked without being told to (he’s a person ofc but you know what I mean) and the first one that Wille probably knows, him always being in the same type of environment. And that doesn’t fit within the system. If he wants to keep Simon, as well as his own mental health and sanity, Wille needs to get out of the system. And I think this was exactly what s3 is trying to tell us. It’s a commentary on what being stuck in that system is. We see it with Felice too, she’s trying to get out of her own system and is making people mad by doing so. They’re all stuck in the system, and some people are happy to stay there (Frederika, Stella, Nils, Vincent…) and others have to fight to get out or they’ll lose themselves. This is exactly what’s happening to Wille, and now that the one thing he has, his relationship with Simon, is going to leave him… I think this will be the wake up call for Wille to realize that he can’t stay in this institution. He has to leave if he wants to be his own person.

#young royals #wilhelm young royals #yr s3 spoilers

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communistkenobi · 3 months

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I think a large problem with how we got to this stage of "man is gender neutral" discourse is that a lot of queer people refuse to engage with feminism. I've been seeing it brought up a lot recently, but it's true. Someone who doesn't see a problem with referring to a trans woman as "dude" probably also doesn't believe in patriarchy to begin with. We need to start doing feminism 101 on tumblr again.

I think this is true and I also think this issue extends to the fact that white liberal queerness is the societally accepted conception of lgbtq issues broadly - the fact that pride flags litter the windowsills of small businesses and banks, that lgbtq merchandise is its own market, that western conceptions of gayness and especially transness are the internationally imposed norm (eg, we are pathological exceptions to cishetero society and should be accepted on the grounds that we are scientifically proven to be legitimate by medical and psychiatric institutions, presented with an awkward flair of “okay so we’re not saying being transgender is a mental illness, but it is caused by a mental illness” + framing of gay people as “they’re just like straight people! they can get married and have children just like you!”). Many many queer people of colour have pointed out how much this predominate western framing of lgbtq identity as a “white person thing” (partially because white queer people are just as racist as non-queer white people, also because of aforementioned western imperialism) puts them at odds with their own communities, giving people in those communities a “rational” reason to oppose lgbtq rights on the grounds of resisting western imperialism. Israel’s pinkwashing is a particularly instructive and stark example of this, positioning lgbtq freedom as being contingent on genociding and destroying Palestine - this doesn’t mean it’s okay to be homophobic obviously, but this sort of imperial imposition of queerness as part of the package of western domination creates the conditions for “rationally opposing” lgbtq rights and equality within colonized communities and ultimately causes intersecting levels of harm for lgbtq people in those communities. You can read decolonizing trans/gender 101 by b binaohan if you want more on the subject, I’ve only read the intro so far but it was very instructive (thank you @/molsno for spreading this link around! - she also has a post with a bunch of transfeminist writings if you want more of that). There's also this video by FD Signifier about Dave Chappelle's transphobia that talks about anti-Blackness in white trans/queer spaces and the intense homophobia and transphobia Black lgbtq people face as a result of this that I found insightful if you want to listen to something instead

ANYWAY, all to say - I think the larger problem is that queerness in western contexts (which tumblr is firmly situated in) is overwhelmingly white and liberal, which means that even if these spaces were to incorporate feminist frameworks in their analysis of oppression, they would be incorporated as liberal feminist frameworks, which are fundamentally transmisogynistic and racist, and fundamentally attached to the imperial project of the west (I recently read this article called Beyond the Coloniality of Gender by Alex Adamson discussing some of the problems with western feminism. they demonstrate this through a case study on western feminist objections to genital cutting in certain African countries + analysis of decolonial trans and intersex feminisms more broadly - if you click "show document" in the upper right hand corner of the page I linked it allows you to access the full article).

I’ve always struggled to articulate the exact issue we're discussing, because at a certain point a lack of knowledge is not to be blamed -the larger issue at hand is that the western political + economic apparatus has incorporated queer assimilation into its project. This does not mean that queer people in the west are safe from homophobia or transphobia (see: current transphobic hysteria across North America and UK in particular), but it does mean that white western queer people have incredible political and rhetorical leverage to dominate these conversations using white liberal analytical frameworks, which can only lead to transmisogynist and white supremacist conclusions about the nature of oppression. I think the only way out of these path-dependent "everyone is oppressed by patriarchy" conversations is a larger decolonial political and social project - part of which necessarily incorporates feminist analysis, but feminist analyses that are decolonial, marxist, and transfeminist in nature, and the only way these frameworks can be comprehensively adopted is through a larger decolonial turn

#asks #even old new york was once new amsterdam #book club

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saminsecret · 2 years

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How the slashers would react to a male s/o

just a little something to jumpstart this page ❤️

tw for some mentions of homophobia/outdated views

Michael Myers ('78):

He wouldn't care. He's got a lot more on his plate than worrying about whether his partner has a dick or a vagina. The fact that he hasn't killed you yet should be enough for you.

He wouldn't understand your insecurities. Why does it matter so much to you? He thinks you focus on the wrong things, but he won't say that to you. Not because he cares if he hurts your feelings, he just doesn't want to deal with your emotional turmoil at the moment. Although, if someone were to criticize your relationship, he might get irritated enough to kill them. Depends on your reaction and his current mood at the moment. Michael isn't the best at emotional support, sorry.

He'd defend you after a while. Lets not beat around the bush, its the 70s/80s, your gonna experience a lot of homophobia if your openly gay/bi. Michael knows what it's like being tormented by others, he was in a mental institution his entire life. If you end up getting discriminated against, verbally or physically, he'd kill the bully, plain and simple. He doesn't see this as an act of affection though; just something he needed to do. Still, your heart swoons a bit when he protects you. Enjoy it Y/N!

Daniel Robitaille

He'd be...confused. Daniel grew up in the late 1800s, and while being gay wasn't unheard of, it was definitely seen as a sin. He never thought he himself could ever be in love with another man.

He'd need time. He wouldn't know what to do with himself as this was entirely new territory for him. Homophobia was most definitely a value he grew up around, although he himself might not be homophobic. He was the son of a slave, a black man in the 1800s, an artist only loved for what he could make. He understands discrimination more than anyone else, so he defiantly wouldn't use your identity against you. Still, its a change so he'd be cautious to start anything with you.

He loves you no matter what. Ultimately, it only takes him a little while to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't care what you are, he loves you all the same. "We are one of the same, Y/N. Without you, I am nothing. Our pain will be told for generations. Be my victim, Y/N."

Jason Vorhees

Is this okay, mother? Pamela was a christian woman, so its pretty likely she had some outdated views on gay people. Not necessarily homophobic in nature, but she said some questionable things out of ignorance. Jason was raised with her values, so he'd have the same outdated views. He'd have to unlearn a few things for this relationship to really work. That being said...

Jason understands you. This is what really brings you two into an eventual relationship. He was born disfigured, and the world never let him forget it. And you? Well, it was the 80s, so... both of you were treated harshly for things you have no control over. Pamela would be more sympathetic towards you as well, and would eventually approve of this relationship, as you've proven you can give Jason everything he deserves. "Oh Jason, I knew Y/N was a good boy, just like you!'

He'd adore you all the same. Oh, to have someone (other than Pamela) who loves him! He would ultimately not care about your gender, and would make sure to let you know it. He loves you Y/N, don't ever doubt it!

Brahms Heelshire

Realistically... You wouldn't have been considered for the babysitting job as Brahm's parents probably only considered female candidates. That being said, you'd be hired after a slew of failed female nannies; Brahms wanted to try something new!

He'd love watching you. Oh Y/N, you may be a boy, but you're the prettiest boy he's ever seen! Seriously though, he loves to watch you taking care of doll, cooking food, moving around the estate, existing...you're just so different, Y/N! And he'd feel more connected to you because you understand certain problems...especially morning problems if you catch my drift.

He'd fall into stereotypes. Listen listen, Brahms was raised with old values, like 18th century old values, so even though you're both guys, he still expects you to fall into the "woman" role (cooking, cleaning, taking care of him, ect..). Brahms is a man, Y/N! Treat him like a king! Wait, what do you mean you're a man too? I-Its different, okay?! (You're gonna have to sit him down and talk out all those old value views if you want to be able to tolerate him).

#slasher fucker #slashers x reader #slasher x male reader #slasher x reader #candyman x reader #candyman x male reader #slashers #michael myers x reader #michael myers x male reader #jason vorhees x reader #jason vorhees x male reader #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire x male reader #slasher fandom #slasher community

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pluckyredhead · 1 month

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ur post abt the green lantern’s political leanings was so interesting!! can you do one for the bat family? (but only if u wanna!!)

Honestly, I can't, because their politics are so incoherent.

Like, take Bruce. (And again, like with the Lanterns, I'm talking about canon here, not how I wish things were.) On the one hand, you would imagine he's pretty progressive, right? He's almost certainly a single issue voter and that single issue is gun control. He believes in rehabilitating criminals and in fact a lot of Wayne Enterprises hires are formerly incarcerated people. He is an active philanthropist who pours money into schools, orphanages, hospitals, public spaces, and the arts. These are all leftist values!

And yet the modern Batman is also a completely unrestrained violent anarchic-libertarian power fantasy. Bruce has invented his own law, which he enacts and enforces completely arbitrarily, however he feels like doing so. He obeys the laws he wants to obey and ignores the ones he doesn't care about, while insisting he is law-abiding. He tortures people literally constantly and considers it righteous. He uses the profits from his publicly traded company to become a one-man military industrial complex. (The emissions from the fucking Batmobile alone...!) He illegally surveils the entire city and sometimes the entire planet (Brother Eye, anyone?) because he has decided that his moral authority overrides literally anyone's right to privacy, anywhere. He allows his defeated foes to be locked up indefinitely regardless of their mental state in an institution that would make any qualified mental health professional run screaming in the opposite direction. He's sexist. All of these things sit on the right of the political spectrum, but imagine me pointing to the right like Charlie from It's Always Sunny pointing to his murder board.

And none of the Batfamily is any better. Some of them are honestly worse in certain aspects. Dick was a cop. Jason loves guns. Babs and Tim are even more in love with surveillance than Bruce is. Remember when Tim wanted to replace the police with, like, a Bat-army??? BECAUSE I DO.

It's not really "their fault," as much as anything can be a fictional character's fault. It's the result of being written by writers who are, for the most part, consciously trying to write the Bats as good Samaritans, but are also living in a world where we have had our brains warped by all of our blockbusters being funded by the US military, in a medium where badassery is prized above everything else, and so all this really problematic shit spills out onto the comics page without being questioned. It's also kind of a boiling frog situation: i.e. Batman has always had a cool car, so as he got tougher and tougher, of course that car would eventually become a tank, and no one stopped to go "Wait, what the fuck? What the fuck? How is this billionaire driving a tank around helping anyone???" I guess god bless Zack Snyder for inadvertently highlighting how fucking stupid and counterproductive a Batman taken to his worst extremes is.

To be clear, I don't think this is what most writers are trying to do with Batman (some of them are, but fuck those guys). But it's what happens when all you care about is rule of cool, and the more I think about it the more I'm like...shit, maybe Alan Moore was right and superheroes are just stupid.

Anyway in conclusion, comic book writers should consider the ramifications of what they're writing occasionally. But Bruce Wayne probably still votes blue, at least.

#also not for nothing but this is why i like superman and green arrow better #because they are designed as characters who actually THINK about the ethical application of power and privilege #as opposed to chucking it around willy nilly because it looks cool #batman #meta

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eyebagshawty · 7 months

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Heads Will Roll (Haunted House AU)

Pairing: Actor!Astarion x Actor!F!Reader

Summary: It's a typical night working at Death Clutch Manor during the busiest time of the month; the week of Halloween. While our dear Tav is finishing up her makeup to scare some patrons, her "vampire" coworker has another thing in mind.

Warnings: Fake gore, biting, blood kink, pocket knives, SMUT (mdni!!!), oral, fingering, p in v sex (wrap it before you tap it), sort of public sex but not really (please message me if more warnings should be put in and I will update accordingly)

Other Tags: situationship to lovers, fem!reader, basically crack but make it sexy, alternate universe, Gale is a sassy and upset manager, Shadowheart is tired

Word Count: ~3.2k

A/N: This is my first fic in a while, and probably the first nsfw fic I've ever done. Please be gracious, please enjoy, and happy (early) Halloween!

"Quit hogging the palette Tav, I need my eyes to look like a void and quickly or this helmet isn't going to work," Shadowheart exhaled, looking over at you with an exasperated expression. You looked in the mirror at your face, painted stark white with green ooze dripping out of your mouth. You took one more dab of black face paint and stroked it in messy lines around your eyes, handing the palette over to her.

"I don't even know why Withers insisted on me being a possessed woman. It's kind of an exorcist knockoff? I don't know it just feels silly on me, and a bit corny at that."

"He's basically ancient, of course his taste for the costumes we wear would be as well. I mean look at me, what even is a dark justiciar?" She popped in her green sclera contacts, put on her helmet, and scowled at her reflection; a weird version of a knight with dark blood dripping out of the helmet eyesockets, along with stiff dark grey armor and medieval weaponry. You shrugged and looked to the provided straightjacket for your costume. How did they even put these things on in the 1900s? I should commit myself to a mental institution for even trying to figure out this stupid mess.

Shadowheart's head perked up at a knock on the door. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking over at you with her finger pointing in her mouth in a gagging motion. You stifled a giggle. "If it's Gale don't even think about coming in we're naked -- or I'll make sure Withers schedules you on Friday," she half-yelled in a monotone voice.

"All the better darling, maybe I can help my dear sweet Tav into her straightjacket while you weep about your dreadful costume in the break room."

A furious blush crossed your cheeks. You were dreading coming into work today, hoping to curl up at home with a hot chocolate to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre while you cuddled with your cat. Now you were truly dreading coming into work because Astarion was here. You met him at the beginning of the month during auditions for the haunted house, and you had also been fucking him ever since. You weren't quite sure if there was something more between you, any proverbial strings attached, but you were racked with anxiety every time you were around him. Your feelings for him had only grown over the month you worked together, and now that Halloween was upon you, you didn't want what you guys had to end.

You sighed and opened the door to his smug grin and wiggling eyebrows. He looked good tonight, dressed in aristocratic victorian clothing, with a velvet cape cascading down his back. His red contacts made him look paler, the grey contouring stick giving him gaunt cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. His platinum blond hair was slicked back, and his fangs were just peeking through his smile and poking into his bottom lip. You stared at the latex-made holes in his neck, wishing it were real. You wanted him to bite into you, to drink from you; to be marked as his in an eternal bond.

You were staring. You snapped out of the haze, cheeks blazing and looking back up to his face. "What do you want Astarion? The tour starts in 10 minutes and I really can't figure this thing out." You tried to look nonchalant, you really did. Astarion let out a hearty laugh and grabbed one of the straightjacket belts, lacing it between his fingers.

"Well my treasure, I have come to offer my services. Perhaps we could go to the mens dressing room and I could help? In more ways than one of course." He makes a show of looking to your cleavage, pushed up inside the skintight leotard you'd pulled on for comfort. He looks back up to you, and his eyes soften a bit. "Only if you'd like, of course. I'm sure Jenevelle here would be more than happy to lay down her morningstar and help you into this torturous monstrosity as well," he finished with a light giggle.

Shadowheart, leering at you both during this decidedly strange interaction, scoffed and got up from her vanity chair. "First of all, don't call me that. And second, whatever it is that's going on right now? Leave me out of it. I'm gonna go see if Karlach has a monster for me to down before these customers suck the life out of me. And for godssakes, please lock the door." She swiftly shimmied away from you and Astarion and down the hallway. He closed the door and locked it with a soft click.

As soon as the click had reverberated through the room, his lips were hard pressed into yours, teeth and plastic fangs clashing together. He rubbed your sides and walked you over to the vanity counter before breaking away, breathing heavily and close to you. His breath smelled like cinnamon. "You know I always enjoy our little trysts my dear, but I think it shall be exceptionally fun in this crazy get up Withers picked out for you." You looked up into his eyes with a soft smile, your entire body feeling warm at the prospect of getting laid where you could so easily be found out. As he moved the black tresses of your wig to expose your neck, the thought of him marking you made a thought pop into your head -- and not a particularly comfortable one. As he leaned in, you pressed your hands to his chest with a sense of apprehension.

"Astarion, I need to ask you about something," you said, voice unusually quiet.

"Whatever about? Did I do something wrong?" His eyes widened and he moved to back away from you, but you held him in place with your legs which had unconsciously wrapped around his waist.

"No, no you could never do something wrong in that way to me and you know that," you stroked his cheek with your forefinger, "I just wanted to talk about us. Where we stand I guess." His brows furrowed, and you went to smooth out the creases with your thumb, nervously biting your lip. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've... how do I put it... fallen for you? You always know how to make me laugh, you're unreasonably out of my league, and well, we've grown really close lately. I can never stop thinking about you, and I care about you. Deeply. I understand if you don't feel the same way, but the month is almost over, which means work is almost over and I just wanted to-"

He silenced you by pressing his lips to yours. It wasn't fueled by passion and lust this time, but something softer and pure. He cupped your cheeks with warm hands and pulled away, looking at you with a vulnerable expression on his face. "I don't think anybody has wanted more with me in a while. Because of my devilishly good looks," he let out a nervous chuckle, "I've only really had one night stands without a promise for something real. But with you it's different. I find myself thinking about you, wondering what you're up to when we aren't scheduled together, hoping you're thinking about me." He interlocked his fingers with yours, stroking the pad of his thumb over your shiny press-on claw which you had just put on not 15 minutes ago. He looked at your joined hands and smiled to himself. 'I like you a lot, Tav. I love, well, this," He gestured with his other hand between you two, "And I want it all. I have fallen from great heights for you as well."

Your body felt like it had reached 1,000 degrees after his confession, eyes wide and lips parted. You couldn't believe somebody as beautiful (and sassy) as him could want something more with you. Holy shit holy shit holy shit I am telling Karlach about this immediately, you thought to yourself. You looked up at him with heavy lashes, a short puff of relieved air pushing past your lips. You looked at the clock next to the door and rolled your eyes, your lips pulling into a dopey smile. "This is good. Great, even. I wish we could keep talking, I really do, but you know Gale is gonna yell at us if we aren't there before the tour introduction. Can you please help me into this thing?"

Astarion scowled at the door then looked back into your eyes. He delicately grabbed one strap of your leotard, pulling it down your shoulder. He brought his mouth right next to your ear and whispered, "You know my sweet... I don't really care what boot-muncher Gale thinks. I'm hungry for you, absolutely starving." He nipped the shell of your ear lightly and you let out a shuddered breath. He stayed still, awaiting your response.

You brought your finger up to twirl a strand of his hair at the nape of his neck and whispered back, "You know, you can feed on me tonight if you'd like." He groaned softly and pressed his body deeper into you, getting impossibly close as your legs tightened around his waist.

"Oh darling, I thought you'd never ask."

He leant down to your neck and softly bit into it, suckling and soothing the pain with his tongue. You gasped grabbing onto his shoulders with your claws lightly digging into the velvet fabric draped over them. As he licked and sucked at that sweet spot in the crook of your neck, his fingers deftly stroked, pinched, and twisted your nipple. You brought up a hand to your mouth and let out a muffled cry of his name.

He pulled away and grabbed your hand back down to your side. "No no no, my sweet, there will be no secretive noises tonight. Now that we can truly be together I want everybody to hear everything that passes through those luscious lips of yours. Understand?" You gulped and nodded eagerly at him, your pupils blown wide in wanting for Astarion. Your Astarion.

Instead of returning to your neck, he gave the nipple that wasn't being touched attention with his mouth. He licked and sucked as if you held the nectar of the gods inside each breast and he was praying for a taste. You let out a loud, breathy moan, and he smiled smugly against your nipple. "Good girl, always listening to what I ask of her."

During this moment, booming echoes of the haunted house's tour introduction rang through the room. You could hear Gale announce every word. "Hello esteemed guests! It is my honor to welcome you to the Death Clutch Manor; the house of rot, where pure souls and joy come to decay, and the haunted fiends rise from the ashes to induce your terror," Gale let out a nervous but wicked laugh the next room over. These walls were a lot thinner than you thought.

Astarion moved with open-mouthed kisses down your body, traveling lower and lower until he reached your clothed pussy. He looked up at you, eyes half-lidded with a lazy smile, and tugged down the rest of your leotard.

"Star, are you sure we should be doing this? We could so get fired," You said as you nervously eyed the door, then looking back down to him. He kissed the insides of your thighs, coaxing another soft moan from you.

"Since when did you start calling me Star? I'm quite fond of it," He mumbled as his thumb started to rub slow circles into your clit. You whimpered, holding back more searing moans as they sizzled in your throat.

"I just, mmh, I-," You started. but you could barely even think. Two of his fingers had entered your folds, pumping deep in and out of your pulsating cunt.

"Use your words darling, talk to me," he cooed, leaning his head down to nip and suck at your thighs as his fingers continued.

"I always thought you reminded me of a starry sky, and it, fuck, it fits with your name-," You cut yourself off with a loud cry as his lips latched around your engorged clit, fingers reaching places they never had before as you opened yourself up to him.

You could hear the tour slowly moving away from you, Gale saying something about Jergal possessing some woman, and then gasping offendedly. "Well well well, it looks like our resident poltergeist is hiding from us. Perhaps in the rafters? Beneath the floorboards? Be sure to keep your eye out, for she could strike at any moment."

"Well, my moonlight, I don't think I could come up with a better nickname. It's like we're meant to be. This cunt is made for me, that's for sure," Astarion asserted. His fingers kept speeding up, his tongue working artfully around and on your clit. You were getting close, your whimpers and cries bouncing off the walls. Surely the patrons couldn't hear you…right?

With his free hand, Astarion slipped out a small pocket knife. Throughout the times you two had been intimate, he knew blood was what got you going. A bit odd, but to each their own, he thought, a mischievous smile spreading across his face as he continued to eat you out like a man starved for a year.

"Moonlight, you're mine, yes?" He asked as the blade flipped open. He looked up to you and his fingers paused their movements.

"Yes, fuck my star I want to be forever yours. Please keep going," You urged, desperate for the release you knew only he could give you.

"Lovely," He whispered to himself against your clit. His fingers resumed their motions, his free hand with the knife cutting the smallest letter A into your upper thigh. It wouldn't scar, and he of course would never truly cause you pain.

You screamed his name like a prayer as your orgasm crashed into you with the weight of a freight train, your pussy tightening around Astarion's fingers as he coaxed you through it. The sweet sting of the cuts coupled with the fact that his literal first initial was on your thigh for anyone to see had pushed you far over the edge. He moved over to the small cuts and licked them clean, getting another soft whimper from you.

You body relaxed against the vanity mirror, your head left in a daze. Astarion stood up from his position between your thighs and licked each digit clean of your slick. He kissed you again, and you tasted the sweet tang of your arousal from his lips, whimpering softly into his mouth. You pulled away and moved to stand up, yet his hands braced your thighs down against the countertop. "And where do you think you're going?" He said, his voice gruff and filled with lust. Now that he was standing, you could clearly see his own arousal pressed hard against his slacks.

"Well I figured you might want something too before we, you know..." You looked down at his clothed cock hungrily. Astarion lifted up your chin and kissed your nose.

"Now my moonlight, we can't let all that prep work go to waste. Besides, I need to feel you around me as soon as possible." His pupils were blown wide with lust and hunger. His hand came to rub your side again, stroking circles into the soft flesh. "Besides, all these screams from the patrons are nothing compared to the sound of my name, cried from your lips." He gave you a hard, passionate kiss, biting down lightly on your lower lip. You opened your mouth, moaning when his tongue slipped in and fought yours for dominance. He won of course, and let out a sultry groan as his tongue lovingly explored the expanse of your mouth and throat. You pulled away fast.

"Gods, please just fuck me." You helped him out of his shirt, kissing every inch of skin you could find. You could hear Gale off in the distance mumbling angrily into the mic. Something about 'where that damned vampire' was. At this point, you could care less if Gale found you two out. At least he would know that you were wholly Astarion's, and he was not going to share.

His cock sprang free from his underwear as he pulled it down and off his legs, standing bare before you. You licked your lips as you saw a fat drop of precum leak out of the flushed red tip. He came closer, the tip of his cock pressed right to the entrance of your folds. Your hips softly jolted forward, eager to be filled up. He kissed both of your cheeks and gazed down at you, red eyes filled with affection. "You're the first person I've ever truly cared for," He whispered, then gently pushed his length into you, filling you up inch by inch.

You both moaned together as he bottomed out inside of you. He kissed you gently as he waited for you to adjust to his size. When you were ready for him to move, he began gingerly thrusting into you, your walls pressing around him in a warm embrace. Out of all the times you two had sex, this was the most vulnerable he had ever been with you. You moaned at the thought, basking in his affections.

He began to thrust harder, gradually getting faster as he pulled out completely and then slammed all the way back in. He placed a hand on your neck as he moved, his thumb swiping in up and down motions. "Say my name moonlight." He began hitting that sweet spot, the one he knew so well, earning a breathy scream from your lips.

"Astarion, please Astarion, I'm so close I-" You released another loud cry as his cock began hitting your cervix. The coil in your stomach was wrung tight, ready to snap at any moment. His movements were growing erratic, his cock twitching as he kissed you wherever he could. Devouring you.

"Come for me, my love."

And with that you let out a loud string of curses, the band snapping as your vision went white. The fluttering of your walls around him was too much. "Paint me 'Star, please." He quickly unsheathed himself from you and released his seed all over your torso. He moaned, his cheeks flushed red as he covered you in every last drop.

You both breathed heavily together, barely getting over the high you'd just experienced. Nothing would ever compare to this moment and many more to come. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, your face paint smeared almost completely off. His mouth was covered in the white greasy paint, the green ooze mixing with it to create a light green color. "Let's get you all cleaned up before necklace-chewer finds us. The tour's over I think."

He gingerly wiped you clean with the fabric of his cape, giving your stomach a kiss when it finally looked spotless. You smiled at the show of affection, he was always good with aftercare but now it felt better. Special. Loving. He helped you down from the vanity countertop, your legs trembling as you got your bearings.

There was banging on the other side of the dressing room door, along with a very furious Gale. "Come out you two, right now. You've embarrassed our credibility as a haunted house completely for the years to come!" Jumping, you fumbled into your leotard, Astarion groaning at the sound of Gale's voice. He swiftly pulled on his slacks and shirt, the collar unbuttoned and rumpled.

"Come off it bone boy, Tav here was feeling sick. I was helping her," Astarion yelled. You both heard a string of curses and grumbles of your names. You giggled, pulling on a pair of jeans as well before collecting yourself and opening the door. You coughed and sniffled, hoping you could pull off Astarion's lie.

"I'm sorry Gale, I think a kid sneezed on me yesterday. Astarion was just getting me water and some Advil, I promise I'll rest up tonight and be ready for tomorrow." You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. Astarion smirked as he leaned against the recently warmed countertop, shrugging at Gale's miffed expression.

Gale looked down at you, your hair messed up and bruises littering your neck. He huffed, face flushing red as he looked anywhere else. He was grateful you couldn't see through the skull paint, quickly adjusting the bow tie on his tux and running a hand over his slicked down hair. "Fine. But if you get sick again I'm gonna have Withers cut your pay until the end of the week." You squealed and gave him a platonic hug, Astarion's expression instantly souring.

"Thank you thank you thank you you're the best manager ever!" You bounded past him and out of the employee exit, waiting for Astarion by your car so he could continue 'tending to the sick' as he had put it.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 smut #alternate universe #kinktober 2023 #astarion x reader #astarion ancunin #18+ content #18+ only #mdni #fanfic #astarion bg3 #astarion romance

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marzipanandminutiae · 2 months

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A Crimson Peak Timeline

(based on the art book, documents shown onscreen in the movie, and the character bios GDT wrote- where the bios don't contradict film canon. I've attempted to combine the two where contradicting elements are unavoidable.

Sometime during the reign of Charles II (1660-1685). Edward Sharpe created Baronet for services to the crown in providing clay for construction projects. Allerdale Hall built in the parish of Above Derwent, Cumberland, England.

1841. Carter Everett Cushing born the second son of six in an impoverished family that traveled the eastern US for his father's masonry business.

1863. Beatrice Alexandra Chetwynde, eldest daughter of a large, wealthy family, marries Baronet James William Sharpe. The marriage is contracted solely for the Chetwyndes' land, which adjoins the Sharpe estate.

April 1, 1865. Lucille Sharpe born.

Sometime between 1865 and ~1873. Carter marries 18-year-old socialite Eleanor Wyndham-Beckford, to the immense disapproval of her family. Though she is disowned and the couple struggles to make ends meet for years, Carter ultimately becomes a successful developer.

February 18, 1867. Thomas Sharpe born.

C. 1867-1872. The Sharpes employ a wet nurse- and later nanny -named Theresa, who would become the only adult to care about the children in their lives. She would ultimately be sacked after Beatrice caught young Lucille snuggling with her for warmth on a winter's night (on the grounds that a noble child should not be close with servants- a "crime" for which Lucille was beaten severely).

1876. 11-year-old Lucille murders her father with poison distilled from mine tailings, after he took Thomas on a hunting trip and left him in the woods to die of exposure.

Late 1876? A mining vein near Allerdale Hall collapses, killing several child mine-workers. I could have sworn I read somewhere that James foolishly dug a mining tunnel under the house shortly before his death, and that's what destabilized it, but I can't find it now.

October 9, 1877. Edith M. Cushing born, after Eleanor had suffered several miscarriages.

1878. Thomas and Lucille begin a secret sexual relationship.

Early August, 1879. Beatrice catches Lucille and Thomas together; Lucille murders her to keep their secret. The siblings try to run away together but are caught and brought back. Thomas is sent to live with an aunt and uncle in Whitehaven (who in turn send him to boarding school), while Lucille is forced into a mental institution.

Probably summer, 1885. Thomas finishes his schooling and rescues Lucille; they return to Allerdale.

1887. The Sharpe siblings travel to London seeking investors for Thomas' venture to reopen the mines. A wealthy, terminally ill gentleman, Major Richard Upton, takes a liking to Thomas and begs Thomas to marry his disabled daughter, Pamela. At Lucille's urging- since they're running out of both options and money -Thomas agrees. The two attempt to poison Pamela to death, but Lucille ends up strangling her instead.

Sometime between October 1887 and October 1888. Eleanor Cushing dies of cholera and appears to Edith as a ghost.

Early-mid 1890s. Carter and the recently widowed Mrs. McMichael have a brief flirtation that both Edith and Eunice oppose. Though it goes nowhere, the rift between the two girls is never healed.

Late October or November 1892. Edith (age 15) becomes infatuated with a 25-year-old poet who is having marital difficulties. After convincing Carter to hire him as a tutor, all unknowing, she confesses her feelings to him. He not only takes his leave of the Cushing family, but of Buffalo itself, quickly moving away with his wife and children.

1893. The Sharpes travel to Edinbrugh, where Thomas again finds no investors but does attract the attention of a 36-year-old widow of means, Margaret McDermott. Once again, he marries her and helps Lucille poison her, though she is ultimately killed via blunt force trauma.

Summer 1893. Edith asks her best friend, Alan McMichael, to kiss her so she can write about kisses more accurately. It means nothing to her, but sparks an unrequited passion in Alan

1896. Lucille falls pregnant by Thomas. He travels with her to Italy, which he loves and she despises. There he meets a wealthy woman named Enola Sciotti, widowed and bereaved of her only child, and decides of his own accord to marry and murder her in their usual fashion. The Sharpes and Enola return to Allerdale.

1897. Lucille is delivered of a son, who may or may not be sickly. Enola tries to care for her and the child, promising she can save him. The baby either dies of natural causes or Lucille smothers him under the conviction that his cries mean something is terribly wrong with him and he can't live- this is one contradiction in the bios vs. the movie that I prefer to leave vague, since it's possible not even Lucille remembers what happened. Either way, she blames Enola and dispatches her by unknown means. Thomas patents his excavating machine.

Late summer(?) 1901. Alan returns from studying medicine in London and sets up an ophthalmology practice in Buffalo. Edith's debut novel, Figures In The Mist, is rejected for publication by Oglivie and Sons. Thomas seeks investment in the mines from Cushing and Co., unsuccessfully. Edith and the Sharpes begin a friendship. Edith sees her mother's ghost for the second time.

September 14, 1901. President William McKinley dies after being shot at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo. I include this because the fact that the movie doesn't is hilarious to me.

October 21, 1901. At the Cushings' dinner party, Carter bribes the Sharpes to leave, instructing Thomas to break Edith's heart or he'll tell her about the marriage to Pamela. A deleted scene reveals that he was on the verge of relenting and investing in the mines when he read the private investigator's report.

October 22, 1901. Lucille murders Carter at his club, then departs to return to England. Thomas and Edith become engaged.

Late October-early November 1901. Thomas and Edith are married and travel to Allerdale.

November-December 1901 (possibly into early 1902?). The rest of the movie's plot.

#crimson peak #long post #meta

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ohisms · 1 year

Text

↪ 𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑾𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 . ( a series of sentence starters from season 5 of syfy’s “ warehouse 13 ” . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

nothing to worry about on this end .

keep me posted .

i’ve got another idea .

wait , wait , wait . . .

i’m not a total idiot .

look , [ name ] , that’s not what matters right now .

drive . okay ? just . . . drive fast .

of all the illegal things i’ve done , this is probably the least illegal .

we are not talking about that !

are you kidding me ?!

i’m gonna need another pair of hands .

i’ve got a plan i’m absolutely certain will work .

not cool ! not cool !

oh my god , what a great idea , [ name ] ! wish i’d thought of that !

i’ll explain later .

[ name ] , what just happened ?

i want him dead .

i just think we should make an informed decision .

heartbreaking , isn’t it ? when someone you loved and thought you knew turns out to be someone else ?

the question is ; are you with me , or are you against me ?

hey ! what’d you do that for ?

there goes our element of surprise .

you have no idea what you’re giving up .

so , sue me . i didn’t want you to die .

stop staring at me !

this way i can keep an eye on you .

patience , and all will be revealed .

follow my instructions for a change .

are you busy tonight ?

i will cut you .

now if you’ll excuse me , i have to get ready .

do you want to tell me the truth , this time ?

i don’t need you to protect me .

should i ignore the fact that that sounds insane ?

you’re lying , it makes no sense .

i haven’t hurt anyone .

there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .

you have been lying to me .

i haven’t forgotten about [ name ] .

a little bit dramatic , don’t you think ?

okay , your life is worse . congrats .

there’s no need to close that door forever .

can we stop talking about this and just get back to work ?

how about we just start with this ?

hopefully you’ll understand why i did what i did .

i told you i’d be back .

despite everything [ name ] told you , you’re here anyways .

life is shorter than you ever think .

i think a little danger is worth it , don’t you ?

please note that i didn’t say anything about how dangerous that would be .

you take one hand , i’ll take the other ?

what’s so important ?

i’m not blaming you , i just wanna know what happened .

i don’t understand . where am i ?

listen , there was - there was a car accident .

no way , come on . i don’t believe you .

we’re gonna talk everything through from the very beginning .

i have the feeling this is gonna take awhile .

don’t worry about it . i’ll take care of [ name ] .

i didn’t have very much when i came here , so i guess i’m kind of trying to make up for that .

the internet’s still around ?

i gotta say , i’m really hating this . i just , nothing feels real .

i’m just gonna wake up and be me again .

this cannot be my life !

please stop saying it’s gonna be alright because it’s not !

i was in a mental institution .

not to outdo you , but crazy girl carries a lot more stigma .

my strongest memories of you have to do with that guitar .

oh , boo - hoo , what . is . the . plan ?

did you not hear me say very , very carefully ?!

this place is about as secure as a kiosk at the mall .

do not snap at me , okay ?

do you have any enemies ? anyone who might want to hurt you ?

am i doing all these things with my mind ?!

i haven’t cursed anyone in years .

weren’t you nervous to play in front of people ?

let’s just say i’m addicted to more than just coffee .

would you play for me ?

since you missed the concert , i thought we could have one of our own .

my keen sense of perception is giving me the impression that you are upset .

don’t partonize me , [ name ] .

look , why don’t we just quietly work together ?

it was an accident , i didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt .

i didn’t know it was gonna be dangerous .

no one’s gonna die ! okay ? we’re gonna fix this .

have you seen him ? i mean , really looked at him ?

when you really love someone , you want them to be happy . even if it isn’t with you .

talking down to me does not help !

i’m not talking down to you , i’m just talking you DOWN ... there’s a difference .

it’s this place , it’s a thousand things !

you SHOT me ?!

with clear eyes ... and a full heart , you can’t lose .

will you tell me everything that happened while i was sleeping ?

i’m so sorry , i know i should’ve told you sooner .

i remember , now . i remember everything .

i’m not gonna let you go back to that .

you’ve tried everything , haven’t you ?

if i only get one day , i am so , so glad i got this one .

i’m counting on you to fix all of this .

i’ll find a way . i promise .

what answer will make you stop asking ?

relax , i’m not here for you .

that’s why you’re yelling like your hair’s on fire ?

i hate being friends with you .

i want to punch things .

i’m on the verge of a major breakthrough !

fine , i’ll go . this better be snappy .

i called the police , they said i had to wait 24 hours .

#this has been at the bottom of my drafts #but i'll get to finishing the show and updating this soon <3 #rp meme #rp prompt #inbox meme #rp inbox meme #ohisms

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loving-n0t-heyting · 9 months

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“Antipsych isn’t about rejecting treatment or drugs, it’s about autonomy, it’s about power, it’s about refusing to accept as self evident a system of carceral state authoritarianism maaaaan Ⓐ”

Yea, well, that’s nice for yr private definition of antipsych. I am against treatment, when the treatment involves fucking antipsychotics

Taking antipsychotics is, under most or perhaps practically all circumstances where it happens , a terrible and shortsighted idea that you should not act on. The psychosis-alleviating primary effects fade in the long term, while debilitating side effects like tardive dyskinesia and diabetes persist, even after quitting the drug. Meaning that one’s initial experience of the drug is not an accurate guide to its overall costs and benefits. And, in the meantime, you get a high chance to experience the agonising all-consuming torture of akathisia or the stupefying self-obscuring haze of zombielike cognitive impairment, both leaving you precious little mental acuity with which to carefully weigh these pros and cons anyway. Later generations of atypical antipsychotics are an improvement in some of these respects, but these risks have not gone away and can still fuck you up for life. It’s not fucking worth it

Do shrinks and friends infringe on patients’ autonomy in forcing antipsychotics on them? Sure. But you know what else constricts the patients autonomy here? The meds themselves. If anything diminishes your bodily freedom, it’s your legs compelled to twitch by akathisia and your eyes and neck twisted up for hours by dystonia. If anything robs you of your personal agency, it’s a permanent stupefied haze incompatible with abstract thought. If someone forces you at gun point to guzzle lead paint, the problem isn’t only—the problem isn’t even mainly—that you didn’t get to choose what you did or didn’t drink: it’s that you have just ingested poison, and this is bad news

Should ppl be forcibly prevented from access to haldol if they have somehow gotten it into their heads this is their heart’s utmost desire? Uhh I mean, ig probably not. Not that this seems like a particularly pressing issue here in the real world. But if yr radical critique of psychiatry as an institution centres an abstract notion of bodily autonomy to the exclusion of the devastating nature of these particular pharmaceuticals, I am tempted to say it is less than useless

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skyeet-the-writer · 4 months

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The One With the Bagel

uhhh this is super overdue but here it is for the new year!! i hope you guys like it!! also hope you guys have had a happy and safe holiday season! x. chandler bing x female!reader summary: after making plans, chandler bing shows the cool, alternative girl from canada around the city word count: ~2.9k warnings: none <previous next>

Chandler made good on his promise to show you around. Of course he did, how could he not? You gave him your number. Chandler may be stupid, but if he turned down the opportunity to hang out with you, he’d have Joey check him into a mental institution.

He didn’t call you right away, he figured it would be best to wait a few days. He wanted to wait at least three days, but he caved at two and a half and left you a voicemail on his lunch break.

He had rehearsed it many times and written it down several times. He wanted to get the words just right.

“Hey, y/n. Sorry to bother you, but if you still want to, I’m still open to showing you around the city. Or, well, parts. Um, yeah. I’m free this weekend, we can get coffee too or something if you want. But just let me know. Bye.”

When he hung up, he felt like the air had been pulled directly from his lungs and he immediately wanted to shoot himself. Why did he stutter so much? He knew why, but why? Why did he say ‘but’ so many times?

He did his best not to think about it for the rest of the day.

When he got home from work, exhausted as all hell, he had managed to forget about the whole phone call for at least an hour. But the moment he walked through the door, Joey called his name with a smirk and a strange look in his eyes.

“What’s with you?” Chandler asked, loosening his tie and finally being able to breathe again.

Instead of answering right away, his friend pointed to the phone and said, “She left you a message, man!”

His stomach dropped to his toes and he felt dread creep up his fingertips. Oh, God, what if you didn’t want him to show you around anymore? What if his quick reply freaked you out? God, if you never wanted to see him ever again Chandler couldn’t live with himself.

But still, he made himself walk towards the answering machine. It was blinking, so it was clear Joey hadn’t read it, but Chandler wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.

He looked up at his friend, who seemed excited, the opposite of how he felt.

Swallowing, he pressed play and your perfect voice sounded through the apartment.

“Hey, Chandler! Great to hear from you, I was wondering if you’d call.”

He blinked at the phone. Were you waiting for him to call?

“Sorry about not answering, I was at work and then the bartender was sick and I had to do it. Real cool to make the new girl bartend by herself after she finished her training.” You laugh and Chandler feels the corners of his lips quirk up. “Sorry, I’m rambling. But, uh, yeah, I’d totally be down for Sunday. And coffee sounds great. Just call me back when you can and we can figure out the details or whatever. Bye, Chan.”

The machine clicked, signaling you had hung up, and Chandler stared at the white box with a smile on his face and a warm, somewhat foreign feeling in his heart.

Joey shook his shoulders, a grin plastered across his cheeks. "You got it, man, you're in!"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he said, shrugging Joey off of him. "So, like, should I call her back now or wait?"

Glancing at the time the message from you was received, Joey answered, "I mean, she called a couple of hours ago. Do it now, man, she's probably off of work."

He nodded, feeling his heart rate pick up again. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

But instead of grabbing the phone, he just stared at it. He stared at it for so long that Joey had to touch his arm to get him to look at him.

"You want to order a pizza first?"

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

And so, forty-five minutes and two-thirds of a pizza later, Chandler mustered up the courage to call you.

It only takes two rings for you to pick up.

"Hello?" Chandler has been waiting to hear your voice again for days and nothing can describe the pure amount of euphoria that rushes through his veins at your tone.

He keeps calm, however, and says, "Hey, y/n, it's Chandler."

Your tone lightens and he can practically hear the smile in your voice. "Oh, hey, Chan!"

A smile paints itself across his cheeks and heat rises up his neck and he tries to ignore Joey's excited looks. "Hey."

"You got my message, right?" For a moment, he hears some noises from your side of the call, almost like you're closing a plastic container, and he hopes he didn't catch you in the middle of eating. "I'm free on Sunday, is that cool?"

"Yeah, that works." He suggests meeting up at nine and when you laugh a little, his grin widens at your nervousness. "What is it?"

You laugh again and elaborate. "Okay, so, actually, I work the night before and we don't close until, like, one. So maybe ten? Instead?"

Chandler would hang out with you at three in the morning if you asked him to. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Awesome. So, around ten at Central Perk? Since it's really the only place I know in the city?"

A teasing smile pulls at his lips as he waves his roommate away before he embarrasses himself. "For now."

"For now?"

"Yeah. I'll show you around to all the good places."

"Even the Empire State Building?" Your voice is teasing and it makes his organs do gymnastics.

He chuckles and nods even if you can't see it. "Even the Empire State Building."

"Sick! See you then, Chan."

"See you then, y/n." He needs to come up with a nickname for you.

"Bye."

And then you hang up and Chandler places the phone back down. There's a beat where he makes eye contact with Joey before they both erupt into celebratory cheers and jump up and down together like they always do.

"Go Chandler!"

"Go me!"

~*~

Sunday comes both sooner and later than you expected. It's sooner because you worked a double the day before but it's also later because you've been looking forward to it ever since the two of you scheduled it.

But, eventually, ten o'clock rolls around and you're sitting at a table in Central Perk patiently waiting. You haven't been here for long, but since you always get nervous meeting up with new people, you grabbed a newspaper and started to do the crossword to calm your nerves.

You like Chandler, a lot. He's very sweet, funny, and he's pretty cute, too. You share a lot of similar interests, but since you've only had one encounter and a couple of phone calls, you still get anxious.

You're sure it will go away when you both make conversation.

Chewing on the end of the pencil, you rack your mind for the solution to this one question, but you can't quite remember the name, though it's on the tip of your tongue.

The bell above the door rings and you look up, smiling when you see Chandler. You wave him over and he quickly spots you, casually walking over.

"You do the crossword, too?" he asks with a small smile.

You nod. "Sometimes, yeah. Hey, I need your help with one. What's a prehistoric beast with a large bony frill?"

He tilts his head and asks, "How many letters is it?"

Glancing down at the paper, you count the little squares and answer, "Eleven."

He mouths some letters, and counts with his fingers, before saying, "Triceratops."

"That's what it is!" You quickly scribble it down in messy handwriting. "I knew that, I just forgot the word for it."

"Yeah, sure." He gives you a teasing smirk as you stand up, stashing the newspaper into your bag.

You raise a brow at him. "Wow, rude, Chan."

"I'm messing."

"I know." You smile at him. "So. You promised to show me where the good coffee is?"

He nods and moves towards the door, holding it open for you to go out of. "I did. You like bagels?"

"Of course I do, I'm not a monster."

Your humor always gets to him and he jerks his head down the street. "Come on. I'll show you a great place."

"Lead the way."

~*~

An hour later, you stand beside Chandler with a bagel in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Okay,” you say, walking past a couple holding hands. “It might have been a long wait, but you say it’s worth it?”

Chandler nods and smiles. “I promise you, it is.”

He leads you to a little bench by a flower shop and you take a seat laying the bagel across your lap.

“Coffee first,” he says to you.

“But you said the bagel is the best part.”

“Best for last?”

“I always do best for first.”

“Okay, well, drawing out the tension makes things better.”

You roll your eyes and hold out your coffee cup. “Clink me, Bing.”

A smile creeps onto his face and he can't help but say, "Is that a euphemism?"

Mirroring his teasing smile, you reply, "You wish."

He does.

But he doesn't say that and instead taps his disposable coffee cup against yours and takes a sip at the same time as you do.

Taking a sip, you immediately flinch back at the searing burning sensation on your tongue. Chandler does the same thing and you both laugh.

"He did warn it was hot," you mutter, referencing the kind older man who cashed you out while you run your front teeth over your tongue.

Chandler smiles. "Yeah, he did."

After blowing on the liquid for another moment, you both clink your cups again and you take a sip. Chandler recommended the latte and you trusted his opinion. Sure enough, as soon as the slightly-cooled down liquid touches your tongue, you're glad you trusted him.

"Woah," you say, looking at Chandler.

He's smiling. "Right?"

You smile back, taking another sip of the delicious beverage. "This is so good."

"I told you it would be good."

"It's not just good, it's great."

"Exactly. None of my other friends think it's very good."

You frown just a little. "Really? I mean, Central Perk is good and all, but this is amazing."

He just shrugs. "It's okay. I have you to go with me now."

You smile at him and a strange and warm feeling flutters in your chest.

But before you can even think about it, Chandler is putting the coffee down beside him on the bench and picking up his bagel. "Okay. Try the bagel now."

Nodding, you place the coffee down and carefully unwrap a small section of the bagel that you can eat. You had gotten a bagel called an 'All-Nighter', which had two eggs, bacon, cheese, and some kind of chipotle aioli on a cheesy bagel. It sounded like actual heaven considering you hadn't eaten all day and your mouth waters as the delectable scent wafts up to your nose.

Once again, you and Chandler clink your own bagels--he got one called the 'Santa Fe' with egg whites, sausage, and salsa on a plain bagel--and take a bite at the same time.

You're not one to groan at food, but this sandwich is so good you almost do. It's messy and you're glad for the double layer of paper around it. It's cheesy, it's warm, and it's a little spicy. It's everything you've been craving.

"Holy shit," you say, mouth still a little full. "This is so good, Chandler."

He just nods, already taking another bite.

Licking a stray piece of sauce from your lips, you hardly swallow before you go in for another bite. Together, you and Chandler eat in silence, too busy consuming your own individual meals like it's the last meal. Honestly, you would want this bagel to be your last meal.

You finish first, licking your greasy fingers before using a napkin to wipe them. Carefully, you shove all your trash into the bag and take a couple more sips of your latte before it gets cold.

Chandler is soon finished and while he's wiping his hands, you say, "That was the best sandwich I've ever had in my life, Chan."

"I told you it would be life-changing."

"I'm so sorry for doubting you," you tease, smiling and stretching your legs out in front of you and taking in the scene. It's almost noon on a Sunday in Manhattan and the streets are, unsurprisingly, crawling with people, but everyone seems a lot more relaxed and chill on Sunday rather than a busy Friday morning when you're running late for work.

You and Chandler lapse into a pleasant silence where you both just people-watch for a few minutes while your meals digest. You watch the people go by and wonder what they're doing today and what plans they have. You wonder if they've ever had a life-changing bagel as well, you wonder how many of them are new to the city like you and how many know it well like Chandler.

He speaks up. “What do you want to go see first?”

Looking at him, you know the first thing you want to do. “Empire State Building.”

He smiles and stands, offering you a hand. “Come on, then.”

Taking it, you let him haul you up before dropping his hand almost immediately. For a second, disappointment fills his chest before he pushes it away. Together, he leads you to the Empire State Building, talking about everything and nothing all at once.

~*~

By the time it was getting dark, you had both wandered halfway around Manhatten. You had seen the Empire State Building, walked by the National Museum—where his friend Ross worked, which you thought was interesting—you had walked around Times Square, and by the Rockefeller Center.

“Is it true that at Christmas they have a huge tree?” you ask as Chandler walks beside you.

He nods, smiling. “It is. And they have an ice rink.”

This makes you stop in your tracks and you turn to him. He blinks and stands next to you, completely aware that there’s a giant smile on your face.

“Are you serious?” you ask.

Chandler nods slowly. “Yeah, I’m serious. What, do you like skating?”

“Uh, yeah.” You laugh and roll your eyes. “Chandler, I love skating. You know I did hockey for, like, years right?”

“No, I didn’t.”

You widen your eyes at him. “Oh. Well, I did.”

“I didn’t know you liked hockey.”

“I’m from Canada,” you say, starting to walk once more. “It’s a requirement. I got my first stick on my fifth birthday.”

“That’s so cool,” your friend says. “I love hockey.”

“What’re the teams in the city? I know there’s the Rangers, I just can’t remember the other one.”

“The Islanders,” he tells you. “But the Rangers are better. Joey and I go to the games a lot, but if I have an extra ticket, you can come too.”

“Thanks.” You smile at him, this cute little half-smile that makes his chest squeeze.

But he doesn’t think about it and smiles back, nods, and listens as you explain how you were the best defender on your team in primary school.

Eventually, you make it back to your apartment. Hell’s Kitchen isn’t as sketchy as it used to be and Chandler walks you up to your apartment building. It’s well past sunset, but the streetlights are bright enough.

“This is me,” you say, gesturing behind you to the building. “Thanks for walking me back.”

“It was no problem,” Chandler says, completely aware that you both walked right past his own apartment building twenty minutes ago. “I’m not far from here. Besides, I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get mugged.”

“Considering I have three dollars in my wallet, I don’t think that’s a problem.”

Chandler laughs and you laugh too and you realize how much you love his company. He’s funny and he gets you. He’s fun to be around and he’s nice, something a little uncommon here in the city.

“We should do this again,” you hear yourself say. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” he replies. “Call me?”

He doesn’t mean to say it. It slips out and his eyes widen the words leave his lips but you just laugh gently and nod.

“I will.” Taking his hand, you shake it twice. Your rings are cold against his hand but he’s quickly distracted away from that when you lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek. You have to lean on your tiptoes to do it and you’re already pulled away when he realizes what you’ve done.

Releasing his hand, you watch his neck heat up and panic rises up in you for fear you’ve gone too far. But then a small smile crosses his face and the knot in your stomach loosens.

Before the silence becomes awkward, you say, “Goodnight, Chandler. Get home safe.”

“You too,” he blurts out before cursing. But you just laugh that sweet laugh of yours and buzz yourself in, propping the door with your foot.

“Don’t get mugged on the way home, Chan.” And with another wave, you walk inside and let the door close behind you.

And Chandler is left standing alone in the streets of New York with a cheesy smile on his face. He scratches his chin but the grin doesn’t leave his face the entire time he meanders his way back to his apartment.

And his smile only grows wider when Joey mentions the lipstick stain on his cheek.

#x reader #chandler bing #chandler bing x reader #canadian reader #ross geller #rachel green #joey tribbiani #monica geller #phoebe buffay #don't be fooled #this is a slow burn

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r0semultiverse · 28 days

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Was Celia drunk as fuck or is this something supernatural?? 👀

Who the fuck is Jack?? 👀

Alice is such a delight, I love her!

Oof so one or both of them have trauma involving grandparents then.

I love Samama & Alice so much. 💜 They have a great dynamic!

Oh shit, right, Gwen is probably still getting over Mr. Bonzo too. 👀

"I just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me."

Please don't take away Alice, she's one of my faves! I hope this post doesn't age poorly. Watch me have to quote this post very soon.

OH NO, is it that [ERROR] following her??? 😰

"Don’t joke about that, mate. I was dreaming about it all day." Okay, yeah, that's a creature.

Sam & Alice are both about to run into a creature... 👀

"Classifying unspeakable horrors all night for no discernible reason?" @/entities-of-posts & @/which-entity-this-post-serves is that you? :]

Hmm, now why is this episode called "marked?" I assumed Mr. Bonzo was gonna find his mark, but maybe Alice is marked by an entity/creature that was locked in the Magnus Institute?

"giving up the ghost" okay so someone saw an apparition? Honestly not sure what entity this episode is about so far.

It's giving The Corruption ✨🧟‍♀️⚰️ (maybe The Buried)

"It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been." 👀👀👀

This thing is about to jump out of the grave & run off, isn't it? 🏃‍♂️

"The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon." Peter Lukas?!?!?

Oh 100% The Buried, without a shadow of a doubt.

Lots of tattoo & carvings in walls imagery in this sequel prequel sidequel, isn't there? 👀

Hey wait, that's Ink5oul from episode 2, isn't it? 👀 Ink5oul definitely feels like a conduit or vessel for The Flesh or some other kind of entity.

Okay, there's something weird going on with this place, the salt water & waves near this cemetery are kind of seemingly enticing them to come drown in it's waters. In the very least it's messing with these guys' mental states! Pretty freakkyyyy! 👀🌊

Also the repeated emphasis on dreams is interesting this episode, wonder if that'll play a part in something later on. 👀👀

"If it’s any consolation, he’s with the sea now. The deep will care for his bones." I literally called it!!

I think Gordon Alan Johnson also wants to be with David. 👀🌊🌊

I don't know, Gordie, I think you did it! Unless Ink5oul is collecting tattoos like an alternate universe version of the Leitner books. Wait yeah, what if the tattoos are like conduits for the entities of this world or even the original one? 🖌

Another way to look at this is asking... Is The Deep a new entity/fear or is it a servant of a fear like The Vast? I stg there was a colossal water monster at some point in The Magnus Archives!

Okay so yeah, there's already a precedent for this. Also feels like The Lonely, The Buried, The Corruption, The Vast, & maybe even The Flesh are all involved in this one though I don't know if Flesh (Ink5oul) is working with or against the other fears at this time.

Gwen, you can tell your coworkers what's wrong, oh my fucking god. Please. Celia, you have me so invested in whatever is going on with you.

Weird unexplained noise at 17:44 too as Celia enters the office. Wonder what that's all about, maybe it'll come up later on.

"He is one of our Externals." Okay; so, there's more of them & they have their own secret hitman title too!

Mr. Bonzo when he was on TV

"And they usually like it." I bet fear creatures do like it when you scream. That makes a lot of sense actually.

Also what's that weird "boowomp" noise as they're talking or is it just the OST? 👀

Is Gwen going to be turned into something not quite human at some point? Just throwing darts at a board with that speculation, but wouldn't that be wild?

Okay; so, these little digitized noises are absolutely important!

I wonder how many times & when people have lied so far throughout this season. 👁️👁️

#someone should draw those two ( sam & alice ) in the style of that show at this rate. I have more questions every week i stg #is mr. bonzo gonna find his mark or is Alice dyer marked by [ERROR] place your bets!#okay so themes of coffins; decay; & rotting things; feels like the corruption or maybe even the buried #I stg if that weirdly aged guy is Peter Lukas somehow I'm gonna scream; it's an AU; anything can happen #Love seeing Ink5oul again; it's cool that they aren't just a one off character & are getting involved in the greater story #leitner tattoos canon??? maybe?? is this the equivalent of jurgen leitner books?? perhaps #the big water monster is giving The Vast energy; a lot of these feel like fear entities collaborating in this world #now I'm curious who the other externals are... is ink5oul one of them? They seemed to delight in reactions.#is this government organization called the magnus institute or what do they call themselves now? also who is mr bonzo after?#I wonder if the black ops guys that showed up to that charity place on hilltop were a counter organization or the government?#mine #op #tmagp liveblog #tmagp 11 #tmagp spoilers #tma spoilers #tma #tmagp #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol

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coupleoffanfics · 8 months

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Gotham Isekaied Reader

I have an idea. It's nothing new. I wrote nearly 5 pages of this idea, but I'm too scared to post it since it's filler and I even drew a cover. So I will ramble about this idea through headcanon. Some Jerome x Reader, I’m sorry. I can’t help myself. CW: One mention of suicide.

y/n wakes up to find that her life has gotten a major upgrade. Any flaws that her family has is erased. Did mom drink away stress? Now she doesn’t even touch alcohol. Dad isn’t smoking away his life. Her older brother is a law-abiding citizen who is studying to become a lawyer. Her younger brother is more positive about life and growing up in a home that they wished they had.

Not to mention that they’re rich. She no longer lives in a bad neighborhood and sleeps in a snazzy mansion.

Life is looking up until y/n turns on the TV with a news story about a man killing corrupt people with weather balloons.

She sits there thinking, ‘This was nice, but I should be getting back home.’

Maybe y/n’s close friends with Bruce beforehand. That’s when she realizes that she has to learn about the other y/n’s life. She can’t risk telling anyone about “we’re in a shitty TV show” without everyone considering throwing her into a mental institution. Tough luck because she ends up in Arkham regardless.

She writes down plotlines that she remembers. Making files on the character that she has met. Her files are hidden away in her room and aren't brought up later down the line when a certain person finds them.

How y/n ends up in Arkham is complicated. I want y/n to be completely sane through our POV, so she’s not going to be “I’m so insane and quirky”. Maybe she’s framed or killed someone in self-defense. Well, okay, I have thought out what gets her thrown into Arkham, but I don’t think anyone would find it interesting.

During her trial, the prosecutor will use her history of depression and suicide attempts to paint her as a homicidal. The whole trial is fishy, yet ends with her being locked up.

Bruce believes y/n when she says she hasn't done anything and promises to get her out of there. Legally of course.

Alfred probably tries to keep Bruce from visiting because Arkham has a reputation and doesn’t want him to be anywhere near there. The poor boy is going through too much in a short amount of time.

So Bruce will send Selina to deliver anything. Or they both run away to visit y/n. When they come back to the manor and Alfred is questioning them, they both lie by saying that they’re somewhere else.

Bruce just wants to make sure his bestie is alright. Selina is just along for the ride but might visit y/n even when she doesn’t need to.

While in Arkham y/n is vibing in her little corner when Jerome starts bugging her. Might tell him about some plotlines just to see if anyone would believe her.

Jerome just laughs it off and starts orbiting y/n because she’s interesting. She tends to ramble and mumble to herself, for some reason he finds it so cute.

“You’re kind of funny, but I wouldn’t call you a joker.” She says before thinking, ‘Because legally you aren’t him. Thanks a lot, higher-ups.’

He writes about her in his diary and uses any stickers that she gives him. ‘Yeah, she's weird. Calling people characters and saying that we aren’t real, but she’s my little weirdo. I also got another pack of Hello Kitty stickers from her.’ Then he proceeds to doodle her with crayons.

When Theo Galavan surprise adopts them, Jerome starts taking y/n’s words more seriously. Still doesn’t believe her when she says he and everyone aren’t real. Like how is that possible? He feels real, oh whatever he has no time for that.

At the manor, Bruce is freaking out and dialing Jim begging him to save his bestie from that homicidal ginner. Theo has to make it seem like y/n is a hostage since she refuses to do any killing and Jerome has scary dog privilege.

‘They aren’t real. They aren’t people.’ She’d try to tell herself, but she just can’t bring herself to try to hurt someone. y/n is one of those freaks who try to drive safely in GTA without running over anyone or anything.

She doesn’t think that her words mean anything and that everything will follow the script. Until she tells Jerome to take an extra lighter with him. She’s chilling by herself when the news shows footage of a burnt bus and the news anchor talking about the cheerleaders who lost their lives.

That’s when y/n starts thinking over everything she’s said. She debates whether or not she should tell Jerome about Theo’s betrayal.

‘The show does start declining in ratings when he’s killed off. I could be doing the writers a favor, but what about the people? No, characters. They’re just characters! They aren’t real!’

In the end, Jerome is killed off and she’s put back into Arkham. Everyone is surprised by how calm she is after Jerome’s death. Not upset or anything. Like weren’t they close? Maybe their relationship was more one-sided.

Jim will question y/n and she might let a few things slip. Most brush her words off as they believe that she has some sort of Stockholm syndrome and is angry at Theo for killing her captor.

Back at Arkham, y/n yells, “FUCK!” When seeing Hugo Strange.

When Theo is dealt with, Jim will visit her or send her a thank you card for pointing him in the right direction regarding the investigation.

I’m getting tired and I might continue writing about this.

But I was going to have y/n be free from Arkham when some evidence regarding her case comes out. y/n will be outwardly passive throughout the story.

In the end, I was going to have y/n be the one who becomes Joker. Maybe she falls into a tub of chemicals. Don’t worry darling you aren’t going to be deformed like Jeremiah at the end. You’ll look different, but still smoking hot. 😘

Anyway seeing the physical change, her dwindling hope of getting back home, and her mental state being worn out. She decides to step up and take the name of Joker.

Bruce angst all the way. Maybe angst for other characters, but I could see this tearing him apart. He’s forced to watch his closest friend be replaced by a cackling monster. To then eventually start fighting against her.

She doesn’t react to being called y/n anymore, but she’ll give Batman/Bruce a melancholy look if he calls her by that. He doesn’t call her y/n often because that wasn’t y/n. y/n l/n was dead and there was no way she was coming back.

The theory of Joker being sane will ring true to y/n. She knows this isn’t real. It’s just fiction and any good piece of fiction needs a good villain. Since she’s not making it back home, she’ll make things fun.

Or multiple endings because those are always fun.

“Jerome? Jeremiah? Never heard of them.”

#gotham x reader #gotham tv show x reader #dc x reader #jerome valeska x reader #gotham fanfiction #my idea rambling #will i ever do anything with this idea? idk tbh #i need to stop writing and some sleep

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