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histoires-en-bouteille · 11 months

Text

I can't sleep.

I think something is about to happen. Something really wrong. I can't explain it to myself, but I just know it. Deep in my guts, I know it.

I feel like every step we take brings us closer to the end, somehow.

We're about a day away from Alcura. We've mostly met passive creatures, the kind that run away when they see you. Sometimes they stare, long enough to give you the creeps.

There's always one that stares for too long. One that makes you feel like you're their prey, their object of curiosity. You never know how they think, you just know they stare. You see their eyes, so big, so dead, and you could swear there's something behind those fucking eyes.

Ava doesn't say anything. Me neither. We haven't talked in...I think we haven't talked in a week, at least. Sometimes shit go wild between us.

It's back. Staring again. Fuck, that thing is seriously creeping the fuck out of me. Ava is sleeping. Usually she would stare back until it would leave.

I can't do that. I'm not superstitious, I know Ava always says I am, I'm not, but you know what they say about those who stare back? They always get snapped from the sides. So busy looking straight into the dead eyes in front of them, they get too caught up in the moment and forget to watch their sides. That's how Big Grum got torn to shred.

I'll keep a side-eye on that thing. I feel like it's been following us, but I'm not sure. But it's been days and I can't sleep. I can't fucking sleep because whenever I close my eyes I feel my heart...I fucking feel that... that presence.

Mami used to tell us that if we feel a presence, we must keep our eyes open, because if we close our eyes, they'll be right there when we open them again.

Right here, in front of us, staring and grinning.

I should really shut up. Writing these things only makes me feel worse. There's no way I'll be sleeping tonight. No fucking way.

I just hope we can reach Alcura tomorrow. I don't feel like being outside with Dead Eyes any longer.

Extract from Todd's Journal. - Dead Eyes.

Notes from transcriber:

The extract was entitled "Dead Eyes" as a reference to the nickname given to the creature observed by Todd and Ava on their first trip to Alcura. The emphasis on the eyes of the creature became the focus of scholars curiosity, as well as an object of controversies. Dead Eyes has indeed been suspected of being █ █████████ ███████████ ████ ████ ██ ████████ █████ ██ █████████ ████ ███ ███'█ ██████████. (What's Behind The Eyes?, 150-163) ███████████ ████ ██████ ████ ██████ ██████ ██ ██████ ███ ██████, ███ ███ ██ ███ ████ ████ ██ ███ ████████ ██████████. (Archives of Security Register)

Dead Eyes became a recurring image in Todd's journal, and could be found from page 25 to 53, a section of the journal which corresponded to their second trip to Alcura. It also marked the disappearance of Dead Eyes's physical presence - though one can argue that Dead Eyes remained omnipresent in Todd's retelling of their travels, as defended by Elina Baker in Dead Eyes: The Haunting of A Presence (Baker, 23)

Todd often wrote about local beliefs and superstitions, as well as myths and stories he (and Ava) grew up with. The story of Big Grum - accessible on the online version of ARKives (ARKives, Formative Tales) - is what scholars commonly define as a "formative tale" for children, providing them with "life lessons and warnings related to the real life conditions and habits of [their] natal village[s]". (Dictiocon Online)

Todd briefly mentioned an altercation between Ava and himself. He gave no details whatsoever on the matter, but did say that "Sometimes shit go wild between [them]," proving the reccuring arguments they would have while travelling. In another extract entitled Home, Todd wrote about a violent altercation which led both parties to not talk to each other for more than three weeks. He also confided in his journal of this fight being "the worst [they] ever had" and explained how "miserable" it made him feel. (Home, 84)

@chaoticvampirejedi @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s

#writing #ava & todd #todd #sacrificed #Todd's journal #Dead Eyes #I need to calm down before I create a real ARKives website and a real Dictiocon website and before i start writing real fake essays-#-and books about what's going on in the story and and and #someone stop me before i become really obsessed with the way i'm storytelling that #me: ho no i have to do research for school :((#also me: spends hours of her days creating fake documents and writing fake research notes and fake transcriptions for her story #x'DD #also i have like 3 other drafts completely done and ready to be posted and that is the most prepared i have ever been in my life #i should go to sleep but also i have so many ideas and i write best at night!! (no you do not you just think you do)#but anyway you can have this one for tonight and we'll see what i have for you tomorrow and for the rest of the week hopefully! :D

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tea-earl-grey · 3 months

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For the writer’s ask game: 🖍 and 🤔

from this ask game

🖍: Post any sentence from your wip.

I have a few wips rn but the one I'm actually hoping to finish and post soon-ish is a post s1 Picard fic from Seven and Raffi's pov. a large part of it is shippy but there's a lot of other stuff too including this scene where Seven goes back to the Artifact to find Hugh's body and bury him. (yeah I know this says sentence but uh... here's a full page instead.)

When she looked down at Hugh’s body, face grey and body stiff (like he’s returning to the drone they all are underneath), Seven saw someone who deserved to live.

They were never close friends. They might not had even been friends. Hugh found Seven a few months after Voyager returned and explained that he was an ex-Borg as well, that his unimatrix was split off from the Collective after he encountered a Starfleet vessel and after conflict and infighting, he and thirty others had made it to the Federation. He said that ten more had died in surgery and Seven noticed that Hugh’s scars looked fresher than her’s.

Apparently, as Hugh relayed, he nearly wept after finding out there was another ‘liberated Borg’ (as he said back then, long before the word xB crossed anyone’s lips) on a famous Starfleet ship. And, “Who knows how many more are out there? How many more need our help?” He sounded so hopeful and Seven remembered brusquely asking him to leave. Other former Borg weren’t her concern, she already had Icheb after all, and the last thing Seven wanted were more people pointing out the fact she wasn’t human.

Two years later she left Earth after realizing that no matter what she did and how she acted, no one would think of her as human anyways.

And six years after that, Seven watched Icheb be dissected on a lab table and she started to see Hugh’s point. Maybe sentimentality does have tactical value.

And that same year, before Seven could offer any overtures of an apology, Hugh launched the Borg Reclamation Project. And the Romulans sold Borg parts to the same cruel underground that killed her son, creating more demand that she knew wouldn’t be satisfied with words like ‘ethically obtained’. Seven noticed idealism often clouded people’s vision to what was right in front of them.

They still crossed paths on occasion, mostly when Seven met an xB who needed help or on the occasion when Hugh needed a favor. There were a few subspace messages – Seven asking if Hugh knew a safe doctor to see after she dislocated her arm beyond her own ability to repair. Or another time when Hugh needed a favor on one of the worlds the Rangers patrolled.

The point was – Hugh had long since figured out that Seven didn’t care for his project or his idealism and would happily forget that she was an ex-Borg, xB, whatever the hell you want to call people like them, if anyone would let her.

The point was – Hugh was better than her. He cared more. He wanted a community, a culture, in some broken old Cube. And look where it had gotten him.

Seven picked up his body from the floor. “Are you coming?” she asked the two xBs in front of her.

When neither of them answered, she walked away with Hugh in her arms. These people weren’t her concern.

They were lost, leaderless, broken. They were what Seven could have been so easily if a Starfleet Captain didn’t look at a Borg drone and give her dreams of humanity.

She looked back for just a second.

But Seven lacked Hugh’s earnest hope of a better future and certainly didn’t have Janeway’s hero complex. They deserved someone better than her.

🤔: What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

(glances at the notes app on my phone and laughs nervously)

out of the seven years of prompts/ideas I've gathered, I'm probably most likely to write the Star Trek ones at some point and the best ones are:

years after ds9, Jake goes through the death of a loved one and finds himself drawn back to Bajoran religion for the first time in a long while and

something about Voyager and the "died and came back wrong" trope as they come back to Earth and their family members start noticing that they aren't the same people and the grief that accompanies that realization (I did write a small scene of this from Janeway's sister's pov but I need to scrap the whole thing and start over)

i have about 3 fic ideas that are all just character studies of Seven through the lens of disability

a j7 fic where Picard era Seven and Voyager era Seven switch places

a post-ds9 fic where Worf and Ezri realize that since Klingon law doesn't differentiated between Trill hosts, they're still legally married and have to figure out how to get a divorce/annulment (more of a comedy with some moments about grief)

a Voyager/Gallifrey crossover (aka Janeway and Gallifrey era Romana are very similar and they Would Not Get Along)

#asks #thanks for sending this i now have inspiration to write!#unfortunately i also have other things to do today that involve not thinking about Star Trek. smh.#also if anyone is interested in betaing the s1 Picard fic i'm writing feel free to dm me.#i should *hopefully* have a draft done in a week or so #(i've never actually had a beta before but i am far less confident writing these characters than other fics i've done)#long post #my posts

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 5 months

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Hey! If possible, could you write doppio dropscythe x reader dating headcanons? Maybe the reader is also a vtuber in nijisanji rn, but it’s a secret from the internet?

i had this draft since the cheftective era and haven’t touched it in a few months, i’m not so sure why, especially since it was almost done... if it seems dated then that's why. thank you for your patience anon, i loved writing for doppio! he's very difficult but very fun!

tags: established relationship, fluff, gender neutral reader, lore compliant, reader is a vtuber, reader is an xsoleil student, secret relationship/getting caught, pet names

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

🐣 Doppio Dropscythe

It's funny, because at a first glance, Doppio seems like the type of guy that takes what he wants. He's never shied away from who he is and wears his heart on his sleeve; one of the many reasons you fell for him.

But he doesn't. You collab often with him and you can tell there's something unsaid between you two, or something more underneath the surface-level entertainment. Something that goes beyond the audience's heads.

It's not quite a certainty but you're convinced you need to do something. It's just that as streamers, especially streamers that work under a corporation, you want to know exactly what to do.

You end up talking to Ver for advice. As the President of Xsoleil, he's a good listener, especially since you know how close he and Doppio are. He wouldn't dare judge you when his friend's own feelings are on the line as well as yours.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You enter the Xsoleil student council office. As expected, Ver swivels around in a big leather office chair that makes him look more imposing than his dorky-sweet-tooth personality ever could. "Reader, it's good to see you. I liked your stream last Friday. How can I help you?"

"Nothing business. I'm here to ask about Doppio."

At the mention of his name Ver leans back in his chair, and you tense. You explain yourself: how lucky you are to work with him, how wonderful of a man he is, and how much you care about him. It spills out of you like water in a strainer. You've kept your feelings bottled up for so long, and Ver has such an accepting energy that makes you want to uncover everything you've been hiding. After all, if anyone could give you approval and advice on your feelings about Doppio, it would be the president himself.

By the time you finish, however, he seems far less surprised than you expected. "You should tell him."

"But what if-"

"Just do it." He presses his fingers between his eyes like he's alleviating a headache. "Trust me on this one. Please. Hopefully if you do so within the next week, Meloco's earnings from the betting pool will go back into our funding."

Somehow, that doesn't surprise you, and you're too happy they approve to get frustrated. You request Ver's blessing. He obliges. "Not that you need it. We're just happy there's someone out there for him." Ver's eyes glint. "Treat him right. If you don't, I'll be very disappointed. And Kotoka will start a smear campaign on Instagram."

"Duly noted, Kaichou."

"And he'd be sad."

"Can you trust me too?" You ask. Ver nods. "That's the last thing I want to do. If we're going to do this, I want to make sure I give him everything he deserves."

"Good answer." He smiles, like everything's fallen into place. "I meant what I said, you didn't need my blessing, but you definitely have it now."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

When you finally muster up the courage to ask Doppio out, it's like he forgets to talk. In fact, he does. He sputters out happy noises that don't even make up sentences for a solid minute before he remembers how to say "yes."

Doppio makes a lot of noises even when he does know how to talk, and it might be one of the most endearing things about him. You've lovingly started calling them Doppi-noises simply because no one reacts quite like how Doppi reacts. He’s so silly and there isn’t a single word in the English language to describe how silly he is.

He even talks to inanimate objects sometimes when he's alone. It's not much different from how he talks in front of others, but his voice is lower and gentler, and when he realizes you could hear him thank his oven for preheating and the mixing bowls for not spilling ingredients, he spouts out a flustered Doppi-noise with averted eyes and red along his face.

Hanging out with your boyfriend is never boring. He brings so much energy wherever he goes that anything becomes a story, including seemingly mundane things like studying.

Whenever you go grocery shopping he somehow always remembers that one thing you mentioned a few days ago that you wanted to buy but didn't put on the list, and buys it with his own money to give to you, but he doesn't remember to get his own stuff sometimes??

The amount of times Doppio bought you a snack or found a good deal on a candy you've been craving, but forgot to buy hand soap... he usually runs by himself to the store, grabs whatever he forgot, and then comes back to your door nearly out of breath.

Doppio always makes you laugh. He's so goofy when he tries to be, and so earnest when he's serious that his charm is never lost on you. He likes to make you smile.

On the days when your lives as Xsoleil students and streamers get too busy to pay attention to one another, you tend to watch his VODs while you work, and you can pretend like it's just another domestic day where you both tend to your own chores while still enjoying shared company.

You take a fifteen-minute break to reset your brain from working so hard, and you hear Doppio on stream offhandedly mention something with a giggle, and you cackle when you realize it's an inside joke you both share. Then you notice no one in chat even pays attention to what he just said, and you laugh out loud even more. Even when you're apart, he's still thinking about you. He's loyal to a fault.

To this day Doppio still tweets his nonsensical ramblings. But sometimes you reply to them like you understand exactly what he's trying to say! You roll with his humor so well and so quickly after he tweets sometimes, that not only are your fans totally surprised you can comprehend him, but some of your other coworkers in Nijisanji have to ask you to translate what he's saying.

Confession incoming: most of the time you don't understand entirely. But when he checks Twitter and notices the reply from you, his face lights up, and rolling with it makes him bright as a sunbeam. To be fair, you get a lot of his jokes that no one else does. You know how to quip with him and he appreciates it a lot.

Doppio's energy is always infectious, but only so intense when he wants to be. He's always uniquely himself, but he can chill out, and he appreciates when he can. The D in Doppio Dropscythe stands for Downtime!

The whole chuuni thing isn't an act—that's just how he is—but sometimes it's nice when he doesn't need to constantly proclaim his position as the Duke of Discipline. Sometimes it's nice to know he can come home to his Devoted that already knows he's the greatest cheftective out there no matter what he does.

By the way, when you're alone by yourselves, he calls you his Devoted. You think it's so dramatic for the little moments and he thinks it's a bit embarrassing, but neither of you have figured out another word for "lover" that starts with a D, so, Devoted it is.

(Meanwhile you call him Doppippi. Not so chuuni, and you don’t call him that regularly—too mushy—but you swear his face gets a little more colorful whenever you call him by that name.)

It nearly drives you insane how cute Doppio can be. Here he is, one of the tallest and fittest people you know, with piercings and eyeliner and messy hair, and pointed eyes that scream punk rock energy—but he coos at any animal he sees and sticks out his tongue a little whenever he's concentrating on a game, and he turns pink as your hand brushes against the inside of his wrist.

But at the same time, he's still such a badass that you can't resist him. He likes to mess around and tease you, and he knows how to use his appeal to his advantage. It’s no secret he has a sadistic streak, either.

It’s the best of both worlds. He’s so hardcore that it makes the gap moe even more effective when he decides to be cute, and when he's soft and silly it just serves as even harder whiplash when he acts cool.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You entered Doppio's streaming room with a glass of water and a light snack, and exchanged a few words while Doppio was typing out a before-stream message on his waiting screen.

So how did you get here, a finger wired under his collar to bring him closer, his hands eager as they clutch around the shirt on your back?

You kiss him, hungry and stupid, drawn to his magnetism. His teeth are pointed. They leave imprints on your tempted mouth, dragging magma over your thoughts, the blind come-ons that dusted over what makes sense. The stream should be starting soon but you can’t find it in yourself to resist.

Steam rises where Doppio hangs his tongue along yours, and so do his hands, large palms rubbing up your back and fingers on your shoulders. You’ve learned that he purrs when pleased; a soft, soothed groan pours from the corners of curved lips. Like an engine muffled by your connection.

You readjust, parting just enough to speak, though your words bounce back into his mouth. “You should prepare for the stream.”

“Done.” He holds you along your neck next, ready to go another round.

“Your Scythekicks are going to get lonely.”

“But I don’t wanna stop kissing you.”

“I don’t want to either,” you say. “I mean, you can always delay by fifteen.”

“I’ll send the message in chat, ‘kay?”

Even though the keyboard is just inches away, Doppio still brings you in with a loose arm around your shoulder and neck. Your forehead presses up to his cheek, not quite a hug but just as casually intimate. He removes his arm when he places a quick smooch to your temple.

By now all of Xsoleil’s vtuber talents are pros at sending delay messages and Doppio is no exception. The keys clack along in a steady cadence, until the tapping patters out, slowly and surely, with gaps of space between every keystroke.

It’s comedic like everything Doppio does whether he knows it or not. One final key sounds out before your boyfriend folds his hands over his mouth, and lets out a tiny “Huh?”

He stares at the screen. It’s strange to see him this motionless. You’re not too concerned, until you watch his head sink into his hands. “Er, Doppippi? You alright?”

Doppio buries his head a little bit further. It muffles him as he softly chants. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

“What’s the matter?”

“No no no no no no no no noooo.”

"Did something happen?" You pat his head comfortingly, before looking back up at the screen, where he was typing into chat. "It usually isn't this difficult for you to send a message..."

Metamrph: HELLO??

sola: TSKR

🐣 AikosVoid: READER AND DOPPIO

AKENJIV: no way taht jsut happened imgcrying

eurelin mystic: SHIP CONFIRMED 💖💖💖

rin: WHAT DID I MISS IM LATE

~tiaramiisu~: should i give u kids some privacy lol

in-d4krness: READER HAS MAIDENS

"...Ah."

Doppio groans. You wish you could groan too, but your throat goes too dry to make a sound. The floor can't swallow you up fast enough.

"Um, I, uhhh," you say eloquently. "S-surprise?"

You've never seen the chat go this fast for so long. You can barely read individual messages before they speed away to make room for new ones.

messXed-up!: CLIPPERS GET YOUR CAMERAS

kierri: doppippi is such a cute pet name help

AKENJIV: this is crazy

sola: AAAAAAA

lunasmortas: CONGRATS 💜💜💜

A normal broom: are reader and pio dating???

You nearly choke on your spit despite the moisture leaving your mouth. "Dating?"

By now, Doppio flopped down in his chair so much that he's flat against the desk. Even though embarrassment crawls down your back, your hand rubs his head and shoulders as reassurance while you continue. "Maybe we should've announced that we were dating sooner."

At that Doppio launches straight up in his seat like a bamboo shoot. "Yeah, but I wanted to do a special stream for it, and take viewers' questions and give bad love advice and have a column name like Doppi's Dreamy Passionland and then announce that we're together at the end!" His eyes squeeze shut as he spits out his thoughts, pink washing over his cheeks the more he talks. "But-but-but what's the point of the Scythekicks knowing I have rizz if they can tell I'm not a whiz?"

You know the blood is rushing to your head too, but even now, your shoulders raise as you giggle. "You know our fans would be supportive whether you had a stream or not."

"But the contenttttt," he whines. He blinks to life with a pout and puppyish eyes, a sign that he's being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic. There's no hiding the fact that you're both mortified, but at least you know just as well as he does that he'll bounce back.

"Content later, whatever this is, now." You sheepishly look back at the screen. "Um, thanks for coming, everyone. How about, uh, Doppio and I take a thirty minute delay and we'll get back to you if the stream is still on the agenda."

You don't wait for any answers before you finish Doppio's half-written delay message, pin it to chat, and make triple-sure that the mic is muted this time.

Doppio rests his cheek on his palm, squishing his blush. "I could've done the stream, you know."

"Okay, but do you really want to after that fiasco?"

He averts his eyes, then relinquishes. "...Touché."

"Thought so," you say. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Nothing." Doppio slumps over and places his head on your shoulder, too exhausted to wrap his arms around you even though he leans into the fabric of your shirt and the body heat underneath it. "Let's just not do nothing."

So you take the initiative instead, and hold him properly, letting him sink like a weighted blanket. "You know, that was embarrassing, but if I can say? I'm glad they know we're an item."

He rests in the crook of your neck, letting you envelop him while tired hands lay on your back. "About time they figure out I'm yours." Your scent fills his nose and warms his blush, and even though he thought he was at his weakest on stream, he still finds his reservations breaking down as you let him be vulnerable, just for this moment. "But can't you be mine? Just for now."

You hug him tighter. "Always."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

#doppio dropscythe #doppio dropscythe x reader #doppio dropscythe headcanons #xsoleil x reader #xsoleil #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #doppio dropscythe fluff #xsoleil headcanons #xsoleil imagines #xsoleil fluff #4402 writes #4402 answers #shoutout to my friend for coming in clutch with an idea on how to end this. girl u don't realize the same sentence has been kicking my ass-#-for 7 months straight. quite literally.#also btw is v3r still a dorky cutie or did he change his image? haven't seen one of his solo streams in a while

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fufuheheii · 2 years

Text

Cyno Doesn’t Know What’s Wrong

WARNING: A bit NSFW towards the middle but nothing graphic.

Cyno x GN! Reader

A little note: I had some requests about making Tighnari and Scaramouche versions of Wooing You, and I’ll be working on those soon! It might take a while especially for Scaramouche since he is going to appear soon and I want to see how much he will change to be able to fit some sort of idea with him XD. So Tighnari’s will be first!

Cyno wasn’t sure what got you grumpy all of a sudden.

Actually, grumpy might not be the right word. You were mad about something and he wasn’t sure what.

It started when he invited you to Nilou’s dance show. You seemed to not be in the right mood that day.

Nilou had come over to talk to you both, and you were especially silent.

“Hopefully my dances were alright!” “Your dancing was quite nice, you looked like a happy lizard.” “...I’m not sure if that was a compliment.”

When Nilou left, Cyno was going to ask you if you were okay, but somehow you ninja’d your way out of the scene. How the hell did you even do that? He was the Mahamatra; no one escaped that easily.

After that he went looking for you, but you were actually nowhere to be seen.

He asked around, and somehow he missed you by 0.1 second every single time.

And then a few days went by and everyday he went to Gandarvha Ville, but apparently you filled your schedule up like crazy because you were in the forest everyday now.

“Tighnari I need you to fire Y/N.” “I think you mean you want to see them right?”

Cyno explained the situation to his friend. Tighnari listened intently as he was also worried about you. You never took up so many tasks before, and when he lectured you for hours about taking breaks, you told him to keep scolding you.

He immediately knew something was up, or you were a masochist.

Once Cyno was done explaining, Tighnari pieced together what he heard.

Now, Tighnari had his fair share of relationships (though they all ended pretty quickly since he prioritized work more than anything), so he had an idea of what might be going on.

The thing was, did he want to tell Cyno? Relationships are all about the process, just telling him might just feel like cheating the process.

He’ll just give him some hints.

Strategy I: Leaving gifts

Cyno knew your likes and dislikes like the back of his hand.

How could he call himself your partner if he didn’t even know what you’d like?

So he got everything you liked from the desert while arresting some of the scholars and researchers here and there.

When he was in Sumeru City he got your favorite foods.

He went ‘shopping’ in Aaru Village, and met Candace along the way.

She smiled at the bags of goodies. “Wow, is it Y/N’s birthday?”

“No, they’re not feeling so good.” “Oh, no wonder there’s so many things! What did you get to cheer them up?”

He handed the bags to her proudly. “Only the finest things.”

Candace opened the bags, looked at the contents, and handed Cyno back the bags.

She then walked away silently.

When Cyno arrived at Gandharva Ville, he was excited to show Tighnari what he got for you.

“Wow! That’s a lot of stuff!” Tighnari smiled as he opened one of the bags. “They’ll really like it-”

The bag he opened was filled with dead scarab beetles.

He looked at the other bags with dread.

Bird eggs, pieces of raw meat from unknown animals, half of a cacti…is that a bag full of sand?

“All grown and produced in the desert like Y/N wanted,” Cyno chuckled while rubbing his nose before taking out another bag that smelled greatly like mold. “And here’s their favorite coconut charcoal cake. I bought this a week ago but it should still be fine.”

“Alright, in order to keep my rangers alive I have to confiscate all of this.” “Haha I think so too…wait what?”

Strategy II: Writing a Letter

“You can’t go wrong with a letter,” Tighnari handed over a draft. “Here, I wrote a sample of what you should write to Y/N.”

Cyno read over it before looking up. “This looks good, but why is it my fault they’re angry?”

Tighnari sighed. “Did you not think it over like I told you to?”

“I did, but I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Think harder!” Cyno closed his eyes and thought as hard as he could.

Everything started when you went to Nilou’s show. You were happy before until he asked you to go. Then you were angry. Didn’t talk much when Nilou came over…wait, could it be?

Was it because you didn’t eat lunch that day?

“No I’m pretty sure whatever you’re thinking about isn’t the right answer,” Tighnari sighed.

“They’re jealous,” Cyno blinked before swallowing nervously.

You? Jealous of what?

“Nilou, they’re jealous of Nilou,” Cyno gaped at the boy. “It doesn’t make sense they weren’t happy on that specific day, Cyno. And you complimented her too.”

You never striked as a jealous person to him. Heck you shipped him with all kinds of people before you two started dating. But now you guys are dating. Could it be that he was insensitive?

“-and honestly I never heard you compliment Y/N before,” the fennec boy continued. At this Cyno snorted. “I give them compliments all the time!”

“You mean that time you said they were as cute as a fluffy Sumpter Beast? Or that time you said they were sexy like a cacti in the desert? How did you even come up with that?”

“Cactuses are deadly but the water in them is everyone’s desire,’”Cyno argued, but now he thought it was stupid too.

Tighnari sighed. “You must have said something normal to make them react like that.”

“Yeah, I did compare her to a lizard. I guess it is a lot better than being called a desert plant.” “...what?”

So Cyno went on to write his letter. He forcefully stayed in Tighnari’s room just writing up the letter with all his feelings. He wanted you to know how he felt, how he really knew you were his soulmate.

By the time it was morning, he had written over 27 pages.

‘Right, scholars’ habits of writing essays,’ Tighnari thought as he smiled at the pile. “Y/N’s definitely not going to read all that, but they’ll be happy at least.’

Cyno brought it to your door, and put it down with a padisarah flower on top.

When he came by to check on it again, it was already gone.

Strategy III: Confrontation

It was now the fifth day since he last saw you. He was getting super desperate now.

He thought the letter would reach you, but you still didn’t come find him.

So he went to find you again.

Tighnari gave him your schedule and he went into the forest to search for his beloved.

‘I gave them enough space right?’ Cyno thought as he got to the area where you were supposed to be. ‘Or is it too soon? It’s probably too soon.’

Just as he finished thinking he stopped at the small waterfall.

You were supposed to be here. He hid in the trees as he peered around.

Finally, he saw you.

You, the naked you.

Why were you naked?

Cyno choked when you appeared washing yourself at the waterfall, your naked body in full glory under the sun.

You heard his choked gasp and turned to his direction.

And there you saw him, standing in shock with blood dripping down his nose.

“Cyno?” “Y-Y-Y/N?”

Cyno looked won at the schedule Tighnari gave him, the red circle around the one time that said: ‘shower-DO NOT GO THERE’.

“I-I’M SORRY FOR ALL I’VE DONE,” Cyno shouted in desperation, not knowing what to do. “PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I LOVE YOU!”

“Y/N!” A few rangers appeared. “Oh my gosh the Mahamatra is peeping on Y/N!”

Nabil was shocked when an arrest notice on the general came.

Strategy IV: Y/N

You finally gathered the courage to go find your man.

Truth to be told you missed him a lot, and honestly after reading his letters you knew the misunderstandings had increased.

You were in fact, not jealous about anything.

What really happened was…well, you were going to tell Cyno about that.

So you went to find him in the one place you knew where he would be.

You finally arrived at Caravan Ribat, where you saw Cyno and a man sitting at a table with their decks out.

“Wow this is your tenth loss Cyno, what happened?” “I left my best cards with the love of my life.”

“Hey Cyno,” you chirp, and the boy flinched so hard his knee hit the bottom of the table.

“Y/N!” He got up immediately and hugged you. The man took the cue to leave the scene.

“Did you get my letters?” “Yes, I did. I’m actually here about it.”

Cyno urged you to sit on the bench and he sat next to you while holding both of your hands.

He bit his lip as you lowered your eyes with so much guilt, and he was already thinking of all the possible things you could say.

Do you forgive him? Did you already find someone else? As long as you’re happy he’s happy, unless it’s Al-Haitham you fell for.

“Cyno I-,” you started to say before Cyno leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours. He savored your sweet soft lips, the way you sigh into his warmth. He missed this so much that he would turn the world upside down just for you.

He moved back just slightly, leaning his forehead against yours as he stared with half-lidded eyes at your now red lips before meeting your eyes again.

You both were blushing like mad, and the erumites around you were silently swearing at you two for the public display of affection.

“I invited you to Nilou’s dance because you said you liked to watch her dance,” Cyno explained as softly as he could, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“I know,” you nodded. “You told me that in the letter. And yes, I’m here about that. Cyno, I have something to say.”

“Okay,” the boy gulped as he closed his eyes, bracing at your response.

“Don’t get angry.” “Okay.” “Don’t kill me.” “I would never hurt you.”

“I may have uh…lost your cards.”

“Don’t worry about it-wait, what did you say?”

Cyno pulled back immediately, his face turning into pure shock. “You lost my limited edition cards?”

You nod slowly as you gripped your bag. “I realized I lost it the day you invited me out…I didn’t know how to tell you and I was trying to find a way to buy a new set of cards…”

You reached into your bag and pulled out freshly bought cards. “Only two of them are special cards, but I know they can’t replace your limited editions. I’m sorry Cyno, I got careless. They must have cost you a fortune. I’ll pay you back, just give me some time!”

Cyno stared at the cards before letting out a snort followed by a small laugh. “Y/N I’m not angry. These are just cards.”

Now it was your turn to be surprised. “But you treasured them!”

“And I treasure you more,” Cyno held your chin gently before leaning forward again and pecking you on the forehead. He smiled. “You mean more to me than anything, my sweet cacti.”

You smile back and Cyno helps you up from the bench.

“Now let's go get some food,” Cyno said- before he passed out with foam coming out of his mouth.

“Cyno!” You screamed in horror as the boy twitched on the ground.

“...You mean more to me than cards…,” he muttered while foaming. “My…limited edition…”

Yep, it was going to take a while to recover from this.

#cyno #cyno x reader #genshin imagines #genshin reader #Light cyno fluff #no cyno jokes this time sadly #tell me if there's anything wrong please lol

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fozmeadows · 4 months

Note

If you don’t mind answering.

What was behind the decision to write the book in both first and third person? I’ve never seen it done in other books I’ve read.

When I first started writing ASASE, I didn't have the story or the world fully planned out; it was a self-indulgent exercise in writing something I wanted to read, strung together with vibes and a smatter of plot points. Velasin's voice flowed onto the page naturally, and I wrote the first five chapters - which are, minus some small tweaks, structurally the same as in the original draft - in about a week and a half. At which point, I realised I didn't want the entire story to be in his POV only: I also wanted to show Caethari's interiority. But because Vel's voice in first person was so strong, I thought it would work best if I put Cae in third person, so that it was always clear to the reader whose section we were in, and to keep them distinct as characters.

Which did give me pause writing ATHP, because I spent a while debating what person Asrien's interludes should be written in, or even if they should be present tense, to make them stand out more. In the end, though, I settled on first person; as he and Vel are both Ralian, I tried to keep some of the lyricism I used with Vel's voice, to imply that this particular mode of speech was a shared linguistic/cultural commonality, but I also tried to make his turns of phrase distinctive - he's sharper than Vel, less poetic, and so hopefully the prose reflects that.

#all the hidden paths #a strange and stubborn endurance #tithenai chronicles #writing #sff #queer sff #romantasy #queer romantasy #foz answers things

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casablancarossa · 3 months

Text

Kiss Kiss

<<a [Valentines] taemin x reader scenario>>

I am back from the grave(read as work) and I totally do not have 8 drafts sitting waiting for me wanting to be posted.

Synopsis: It's Valentines day and you may be a little pissed Taemin isn't with you. Well it's nothing that the rest of SHINee and friends can't fix Pairings : taemin x female!reader Genre : Simple fluff, implied sexiness. Author's Note: Anyway. I could not live with myself if I did not have a Valentines story for our boy. For a fic about you and Taemin, Jinki is here a lot, but I miss him and I need to write about him or else I will cry. Enjoy your stay <3

"Come on Y/N, wake up, we're here"

You felt a hand quickly patting you at the shoulder with urgency, slowly lifting you from your slumber. While dazed, you could slightly make out that majority of the passengers in the bus were now disembarking, all speaking about one thing and one thing only, that hopefully the weather remains clear for the fireworks.

Begrudgingly, you shifted out of your seat, dragging your feet as you hop off the step at the door, stretching your arms out into the air as you yawn and continue stretching your body up.

"Do you think eonnie is going to be angry we are late and hungover?", you groaned, your hands fumbling in your pockets trying to find your sunglasses.

"At least, I managed to convince you to look pretty, or else I'd be lynched", the tone in your friend's voice was far from impressed.

"I don't see how my best friend would care if I look like sewage. We're here to support her gallery remember? I don't need to look pretty for it."

An obvious frown decorated your face, reaching for the sunglasses in your pocket, coolly sliding it onto your face before flashing a smile and quickly hooking your arm around your friend's arm. He smiles back at you and rolled his eyes before he leads you at a certain direction.

Jinki had been begging for you to join him so he could attend your friend's gallery show, who had finally landed a spot at Lunar Art Show, a festival focused for the Lunar New Year celebrations and with a huge art expo alongside it. You had promised to attend the last day of the festival as it was going to be a special Valentines event, with tons of games, food and events themed around the day.

If you weren't so hungover, you'd appreciate the slight shift in the decor, now doning soft pastels and hearts across the banners and buntings.

"Hey Y/N, should we get a quick snack? Your friend said the gallery doesn't allow food inside.. It'll help you ease the hangover", Jinki flashed a smile, giggling at your current predicament, currently struggling to stand still without swaying, almost falling over a couple of times.

The quick wave of your hands, followed by a thumbs up, hinted that you could go for some food, grumbling that how you and Jinki drank last night was next to inhumane.

You blamed the man with you for the state you are in. But you also didn't expect that both of you would be passed out on Minho's sofa after rounding up the SHINee members for what was supposed to be a 'small drink'. And while you could barely remember why you decided to drink yourself blind, the rest surely did.

Leading up to Valentines was an important event for you and Taemin, and as cheesy and cliché it was, Valentines day was your anniversary day as well. It was just serendipitous planning that you two ended up being official on that date and you two didn't mind at all. More often than not, Taemin enjoyed making a week out of it, citing that discount chocolate is still chocolate, to which you would laugh at and call him an idiot for it.

But almost a week ago, Taemin had been rudely taken from your company, being sent off to Japan for work, which bummed you out. With his solo concert in Japan around the corner, it made sense that they would want him there for a while leading up to it, but you had hopped that you would be at least given a day or two after Valentines, until he needed to leave you.

However, Taemin could be a bit dense with texting anyone, often forgetting to contact his members, family and you. When you tried to contact him last night to greet him 'Happy Anniversary', you were greeted by voicemail. When he finally responds, all he sent was a heart emoji and a quick informal 'see you soon' message. That's when you went on a drinking rampage. Starting the night by knocking on Jinki's door, already half cut, slurring your words. After Jinki was a quick visit to Kibum, who was not impressed by you barging into his home, but decided to join in on the fun after you promised him that you would buy him that wine from France that he has been on the waitlist for.

The final stop of the night was Minho who had to listen to your ramblings. Maybe you were too drunk to say anything about it then, but you could recall him laughing at you for crying about Taemin.

Your face scrunched trying to recall that Minho tried to propose to you, Key argued something vague about trying to keep you at home and some plan involving you and Jinki, ordering more alcohol. That's really where your memory drops off and the next thing you remember is being up and being shoved into the bathroom after Jinki begs you to go to the Lunar Art Show with him.

The smell of food distracts you as you snap back to reality to see Jinki, happily eating away and observing the crowd. You two had placed yourselves around the standing table, sharing a bowl of tteokboki between you.

"Hey.. y/n... "

"Hm??"

"You good?", Jinki asks softly before folding hid arms on the table, leaning in slightly to look at you.

"Yeah.. yeah.. the hangover wore out after some water", you replied nonchalantly as you take a bottle from the table and take a big gulp.

"No.. I mean.. are you okay?", the tone of his voice shifts slightly with the question almost sounding sheepish.

"I'm fine oppa. Lets not talk about it.. " you sighed, dropping the fork into the bowl, your appetite slowly dwindling down.

Jinki pursed his lips, as he follows your line of sight. Acknowledging that maybe being surrounded by lovey-dovey couples was not the best idea to placate your sour mood, he was left to handle the mission of making sure you were here, unless he wanted to feel the wrath of his maknae.

He observed how despite how sunny it was, there was a gloom cloud that loomed over your form. The sudden onset public display of affection from passerbys earned a scoff or a grunt out of you, muttering how stupid the company was and more so how stupid Taemin was.

"Hey Y/N, lets go see the gallery. Maybe a friendly face might cheer you up", Jinki muses, quickly feeding himself the remaining food and disposing of the containers.

His arm quickly hooks around yours, leading you towards the area of purpose built lodges, each containing a gallery from different artists. He bided the time, walking slowly as he points out some painting that he thinks would be nice for Key's apartment.

It did warm your heart that Jinki was making an effort to cheer you up. God knows the other two weren't. Minho and Key were useless last night and were virtually nowhere to be seen when you woke up. Although you did appreciate that Key had dropped of some new clothes and his own personal cosmetics bag, for you to play with, leaving a note something along the lines of 'Just because you cried like a baby last night, doesn't mean you can't go out looking like you are in your bad bitch era. Sorry that Taemin is an idiot'.

Finally the sign of your friend's name caught your attention, finally arriving at a decent sized lodge. As you enter through the curtain partition acting as doors, you were immediately greeted by a hug from your childhood best friend, Jieun.

"Hey, glad you could make it", she chirpped, tightening her hug around you.

"Yeah.. this looks amazing", you sighed, quickly scanning the area. "Did I miss much?", you asked worried, noticing that the number of people were slowly counting down.

Immediately in your hands, Jieun passes a glass of champagne, giggling at the fact you made it to her show, but more importantly that everything was falling into place.

"Not at all, in fact, today is extra special, I got the go ahead to display some pieces in the garden behind the lodge, you might spot one of the paintings, you helped me with. If you start from the right , over here.. " she gestures to the large brutalist piece on the far right of the space. "..it'll loop you back here"

Right. Start of with the dark, cold paintings. You stare at the welcome piece, sensing the sereness that comes with a cold industrial scene.

Click.

The flashing light of the camera that seemed to have manifested to Jieun's hands didn't even make you budge, you were used to it and nothing made her more happier that taking the subtle moments when someone is looking at her work, whether its by the subdued grin, or lost daze in their eyes, or the clenching of their fists. It was all prime material for Jieun and often perfect reference photos for the future.

"Trust me, it warms up eventually.." she smirks, nudging your arms with her elbow.

Jieun spins to look at Jinki, immediately linking arms with him. "Now for you, I think I have a piece that might you might be interested in".

You smiled, watching Jinki get whisked away by your friend with a stupid grin on his face. He was always into her and you assumed there was a high chance she was the reason why he was so hellbent in getting you here. The smile slowly disappears from your face the minute they were out of sight, and you turn your head to see painting on alternate sides, lining up a path for you to observe and appreciate the work.

The amount of people were scarce, but you figured most people would go through the galleries first before settling at a spot in the park to participate in the outdoor festivities. You guessed it is nice to finally appreciate your friend's work in silence without a crowd hovering over a painting.

Jieun didn't lie, slowly as you walked down the path of paintings, the subjects became warmer, slowly colours were being introduced. Some of these painting you managed to catch at their conception. If you weren't being dragged from schedule to schedule with Taemin, more often than not, you would be in Jieun's studio. More often than you'd like to admit, but Jieun had a habit of using you and Taemin as the human subjects for her work and she would capture the quiet, mundane but intimate moments that you and Taemin shared.

Sure enough, as colours seeped into her work, so did livelier characters. In your head you noted 3 paintings that you were convinced you and Taemin had posed for a couple of months ago. It was nice to see the finished work, admiring the the intricate yet subdued design.

As you take more steps forward, you see the very painting Jieun was referring too. The very first painting you participated helping with. It was a large art nouveau style painting of two lovers by a window. Distinctively, pose for pose, even down to the colour palette, it was a recreation of your photo with Taemin during a shoot of W Korea. You dabbled in light modelling and it was a last minute gig that paid enough to cover your bills. It was also the day you had met him for the first time and a during a particular 'set', Taemin had thought that angels finally roamed earth when he looked at you.

It was undeniable proof, he looked at you differently. There was want and longing behind those midnight pools. When the photographer would pose you two with closer physical interactions, Taemin would almost stop breathing the minute your eyes met. Even you, could barely look away, noticing the the lack of shift in his gaze, like he is truly and madly in love with you. The last photo of the shoot was the photo used for the painting.

It was in front of a tall pointed arched window with enough ledge to sit one person. Taemin carefully held your hands as the photographer directs you to sit on the ledge in front of the window and have Taemin either in front of you or beside you. While you were struggling to get up due to the dress you were wearing, a pair of hands grabbed on either side of your waist, using the momentum of your jump to lift you in the air, enough that you can finally sit.

The surprise interaction caught you off guard, giggling wildly as you lightly smack Taemin's arm. The photographer takes a test shot of that moment, and proceeds to ask you and Taemin to just relax, casually talk for some candid shots before posing you two.

While you and Taemin made light conversation, talking about work, and each other, somehow that conversation was relationships. It was nothing serious, just about types and ideals, but it was enough to know that both of you were single.

The shoot went on without a hitch, and the assistant photographer finally called for shoot ending, thanking everyone for their hard work. Their hands quickly wave you two over, claiming that the photos were perfect.

Softly whispering Taemin's name, you ask him if he could assist getting you down. He turns on his heel, offering his hand out to you, ready to support you. Unable to slowly shift yourself down slowly, you prepare to jump down down instead, preparing to brace your ankles. However Taemin reacted differently, his arms reach out as he sees you ready to hop down. With your jump, Taemin quickly wraps his arm around your waist essentially guiding you to fall towards him. At the shock of feeling pulled towards him, your arms reaches out, wrapping around his shoulders, clinging onto him as you found your footing. When you finally looked up at him, you found yourself staring at him differently, as if the answer to everything lied with him. Your faces were barely apart, close enough that Taemin could see how your lips quivered, how your eyes darted from side to side, inspecting his face, how he could get used to seeing this face up close every morning.

Click. The shutter of the camera finally pulls the two of you back into reality, smiling awkwardly as you try to distance yourself from Taemin.

"Sorry, I couldn't help take another shot, it just that.. Wow the chemistry between you two in unreal.."

Brrrrp -- Brrrrp -- Brrrrrrp

The vibration of the phone in your pocket, distracts you as you reminisce about the day you first saw Taemin. Speak of the devil. As you stare at your phone, seeing Taemin call ID flashing. You cleared your throat and picked up the phone.

"My love?" his voice was timid.

"I'm surprised you even remembered me today.." you tried to control your own voice, trying not to scare him away.

"I know... I miss you. I should have fought harder to stay until our anniversary"

"It's fine"

"It's not, Minho called me this morning, saying how drunk you got"

"I'm guessing you heard from them"

You internally cursed yourself. Even his dry chuckle sounded like music to your ears. An audible breath rings from your end, unable to speak.

"What are you up to?", Taemin breaks the silence.

A sigh escapes you as you finally perk up and continue through the gallery finally ending up at garden, where more paintings line the way.

"I'm at Jieun's show. I'll take a photo of it later but she has a few painting of us scattered about."

"Oh? It's Valentines and you are out spending the day with someone else?", he teased. You could tell he was smiling as he said it.

"Well, if someone didn't piss me off last night, I'd be more than happy to sit at home and spend Valentines through the phone" you quipped, a little bit annoyed.

"Oh, how perverted of you my love"

Your arm drops, but even then you could hear Taemin giggling away through the line, calling your name repeatedly until he heard you respond. At this point, you were barely appreciating the artwork, all you could focus on was speaking to Taemin, hearing about his day, what his plan is for later.

"Wah, Jieun really decorated this place very well" you began to speak admiring the view.

The path of paintings led to a metal framed gazebo, adorned with flowers and cute decor. It would be a perfect location for couples to take picture in, with a small pond serving as a backdrop. Truly it was picturesque. At the center of the gazebo was small circular table and two chairs facing each other. You step into the gazebo, still talking to your boyfriend, mentioning that it is covered with peonies and lillies, which happens to be yours and Taemin's favourite flowers.

"I wish you could see this. It's gorgeous", you wistfuly sighed, leaning up against the frame of the gazebo looking out onto the water.

With enough shrubbery and trees, the spot almost felt secluded, like from across the water, no-one would spot the gazebo or the people roaming that portion of the garden.

"Do you remember the night you said you loved me for the first time?" Taemin passively asks.

"Of course I do", you stall trying to scramble your memories. "We were at a park in Jeju. You tried pick flowers while I wasn't looking. By the time, you gave them to me.. it was all mushed up and bent"

Your body navigates to one of the metal chairs, fluffing up the chair pillow, settling yourself on it as you keep the phone close, rummaging through your bags to grab your earbuds so you could freely talk to Taemin without struggling to hear him or placing him on loudspeaker.

Before you could pair your earbuds, Taemin spoke freely once more, distracting you.

"Do you remember the day with Kai and the party lights?" he murmurs softly.

"Yeah. That was the day I injured my ankle..and you had to carry me home..", your whined, remembering how

"Aaaand?" he sings slowly trying to hint at something else.

"I don't know.. " you scoffed, leaning back into the seat and looking up, pressing the phone tightly against your ear. "Now that I think about it, the gazebo I am in, is similar to that stupid gazebo I had to climb to hang fairy light for Kai. But I don't think that's what you meant"

"No" he tuts his tongue before sighing again. "It was the day I proudly said you were mine to everyone"

Now it clicked. The only other non-relative person at the tjme who knew anything about you and Taemin, other than Jieun, was Kai. Taemin managed to persuade you to help him decorate a gazebo for a suprise birthday party and essentially the people who turned up to the party, happened to be the people Taemin considered ,important in his life. Nothing could take away the stupid smile on his face because even at a small scale, he could say he loved you so openly and be met with support from his peers.

The memory made you smile before furrowing you brows trying not to get too emotional at the fact that Taemin isn't with you.

"My love, stop with the questions, if I end up crying again, I'm going to tell your mom" you half heartedly laugh, pressing on the inner corner of your eye to prevent tears from running down.

"Okay, okay, last question. Do you remember the day we met?"

You could barely contain your smile.

"Well of course, I literally just passed by the painting she did of our shoot" you beamed happily before standing up. "Are you free to video call? I can show it to you while there is --", you spin around and almost dropped your phone on the table.

There he was standing outside the gazebo, holding a boquet of peonie and interweaved then were pieces of randomly picked flowers, disheveled and a little of place.

"Do you know how hard it was to convince Jieun to ask for a gazebo?" he laughs, taking a step towards you.

Words barely formed out of your mouth, too stunned to even comment at the fact that he was here. Taemin is standing right in front of you, on your anniversary, on Valentines day. His arms wrap around your torso, pulling you into a tight hug, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

"You did this?", you asked bewilderedly, looking around you.

"Who else would mix lillies and peonies? But I set this all up for you"

Your head pans to look at Taemin's face who was admiring the set up that he manage to pull together at the last minute. The way his hair careful frames his face and the delicate mole on the side of his nose stands out against his pale skin. How the corner of his lips are slightly upturned, trying not to smile so loudly that he'd seem full of himself. It was the face that sent you sleep, feeling safe at night and warmly greeted by the heavens in the morning.

Taemin grabs your hands and leads you back to the table in the middle of the gazebo, taking a seat before gesturing for you to take the seat in front of him. Then he began to explain how he managed to convince his manager that as long as he remains out of "sight", maybe he could fool the company that he was still in Tokyo, while he took an early flight out to Seoul this morning. Carefully, he elaborates that he had had this planned for about a week and literally the only thing that held him back was the sudden notice of flying out to Japan.

"Look, I would do anything to spend this day with you, you have to trust me on that. No matter what schedule I have. Even if we have the tiniest second to be together. I will always be here with you, telling you how much I love you and how I can't wait until everyday is Valentines day with you" Taemin softly sings his words, holding onto your hands.

The way his fingers dance over your palms, almost luring you into a trance, you were hooked on every word. It made your heart swell because for a moment, it felt so genuine. Like it was your first Valentine all over again.

Suddenly, Taemin stood up, holding his hand out to you, encouraging you to stand. He quickly sets you aside for a moment, attempting to slowly wiggle the metal table to one side and rest the chairs beside it.

"I know there is no music, but..." Taemin smirks before curtseying in front of you. "... may I have this dance my love?"

The cheesiness of it all made you groan, but you couldn't help but smile in the end. Sure it was cliche but there are times where the fluffy red hearts, the overly sweet messages and the ridiculously grand gestures, are things that you loved experiencing once in a while. Placing your hand on his, he pulls you closer, resting his hand on your waist as you two say to the sound of the wind, the water and the festival.

A few beats later as if your heads were at the same point, thinking a like, you began humming one of Taemin's songs, with him singing along. You knew then and you knew now that you could spend forever in his arms, listening to his soft voice sing as you dance whenever and wherever, slowly setting pause on the world, because for those few minutes, it was just you and him and everything was going to be okay.

Carefully, Taemin holds your hand and spins you on the spot before catching to keep you still. His body leans over first placing a kiss on the crown of your head, then to your forehead, then to your nose. The obvious frown on your face when you didn't get the kiss, you were so desperately craving for didn't happen, Taemin let out a giggle before cupping your face with his hands and pulling you in for a kiss on the lips.

You savoured every moment the way his lips would move against you and how his tongue would dart between your lips, parting them enough that he could pinch one with his teeth and hungrily nibble on them, and that was just a preview of what was to come.

Click

"Oi, you two, this is still a public event"

The voice that clearly didn't come from you or Taemin, sent panicked waves through your body as you turn to see Jieun and the rest of the SHINee members, trying to control their facial expressions. Had they given the two of you more time to yourselves, they would be walking on partial nudity and scenes that are too explicit for young kids. You quickly spotted in Jieun's hands, was a camera, the first noise you heard before her voice. For a moment, you thought it was someone from Dispatch or something other, because you were convinced that the only best option was to drop and pass out.

"You all knew? You guys were part of this?", you gasped, suddenly feeling dumbfounded at the fact that you were basically led here blindly without questioning the odd behaviours.

Jinki was into Jieun but he wasn't that shy, that he couldn't see her on his own. Kibum was never too keen on doing leaving his makeup-kit at someone else's place, but when you had no intentions of leaving Minho's, the next best scenario was to bring everything to you as soon as you woke up and Minho himself was too damn excited that he would almost spoil the surprise.

"Yahh, control yourselves, it's only been a week" Kibum complained before scoffing and trying to break the awkwardness by chucking a the bulb of a flower at Taemin.

"Ya Lee Taemin, I would like to have my gallery back please" Jieun hissed quietly as he turns to face the path, hearing a new surge of crowds viewing her work. "And plus, you're not meant to be here, so either get a move on, or wear a mask"

As the crowd had began moving down the path, Jinki, Minho and Kibum frantically look for their masks to hide their faces, the hilarous moment caused Jieun, to quickly snap some shots.

Meanwhile, you yourself had rushed back to the table, quickly grabbing the bouquet Taemin brought with him, trying to hide his face amongst the flower, laughing as he got petals shoved into his mouth from the shock. As you two try to hide behind the bouquet, your arm raising it just enough to cover your faces, while your spare hands were intertwined side by side as you look into each others eyes, seeing how easy it would be to sacrifice it all. To no longer hide. To no longer lie.

Click.

Behind you two, that was the last photo that Jieun took of you and Taemin that day. Two lovers, budding shyness, hiding themselves from world, sweet, innocent and secretive.

Madly inlove.

Made for each other

That was you and him.

#lee taemin #taemin scenario #taemin x reader #taemin fluff #taemin fanfic #taemin x female reader

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ieatsmallorphansnamedtom · 1 year

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Harvey Proposal Headcanons

Wow I'm still here. Huh. Think of this as like, me being dead, but not dead. As in I haven't touched this blog in months, and it's started to decompose but then some necromancer came along and reanimated it. Idk. Anyways here are some headcanons to prove I'm still here.

^ Old author's note. This has been sitting in my drafts for too long and I need to get it out. Requests are still closed for now, but I'm trying to clean things up in here.

TW: food implied (restaurant)

Harvey was very nervous to propose. He had spent months planning it out. But no matter how well he prepared, it seemed there was nothing to calm his nerves.

He had decided to take you to a restaurant. It was your favourite place. You guys had been there a few times before, but not much recently as he didn't want to bore you of the place. He had put in a reservation for the best seat a few weeks beforehand. He had considered paying extra so there would be nobody near you two, but decided it would hopefully make you two more comfortable if he didn't do that. He also wanted to keep the surprise unknown until the moment came.

The majority of the evening was peaceful. Of course, this is Harvey's luck, so there were a few disputes from other tables, but you guys were just fine. The two of you talked about anything and everything together. Though, there were moments of awkward silence as Harvey debated if he should ask you yet.

Eventually, though, he decided to go for it. You two had just finished dinner, and were wrapping up to get ready for dessert. The waiter had walked over to the two of you, asking if you wanted to order anything else. Harvey politely shooed them away before looking to you.

"Y/N, I, um, I have something to ask you," he mumbled. You looked at him intrigued as he spoke. "We have been together for a while and I love it, I really do. You're my everything; my sun, my stars, my moon, and I was wondering if you would like to, um, be more official."

"Harvey, what are you saying?" you asked.

He gulped, "Y/N, would- would you marry me?"

You were... Shocked. I mean, you probably should have expected it with how nervous he was acting. And when you went to go to the bathroom you did see him fiddling nervously with something in his pocket. But it still managed to fly past you. How could this be?

The answer was obvious, though.

"Yes, Harvey, I would love to," you replied. Harvey let out a relieved sigh and leaned back in his chair, only to realise the gravity of the situation. Anxious, but excited, you two leaned in for a kiss.

The waiter walked back over, asking if you'd like to order dessert. The two of you said yes (resisting the urge to do a 'one of everything!'), and soon you were digging into your favourite treat foods without a care, looking up at each other ever so often and giggling.

-~-~-

Aboboubobobuip FINALLY. It's done! This has been causing me stress to say the least. It's not a request, but hopefully I'll get to those too. Thank you to everyone who stuck around (if anyone did)! As I said, requests are still closed, but I'm working on the ones already there!

#ieatsmallorphansnamedtom #sdv #stardew valley #sdv harvey #stardew valley harvey #sdv x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv headcanons #stardew valley headcanons #sdv harvey x reader #stardew valley harvey x reader

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ros3ybabe · 7 months

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Daily Check-in: October 11th, 2023 🎀

So I was wat more productive then I had thought i would be given the exhaustion I felt from jet lag. I am proud of what I got done! However, I only slept about 2 hours, and it was broken sleep at that so I am not exactly feeling top of my game at the moment. We'll see what my energy allows me to complete today.

🩷 What I Ate, Oct 11th -

Brunch/Lunch - Spaghetti with meat sauce and ground turkey, topped with grated parmesean

Dinner - Turkey & Roast Beef bagel sandwich with avocado, 1 slice muenster cheese, 1 slice cheddar cheese, and a small side of potato chips.

Snack - a half bowl of spaghetti with ground turkey and meat sauce

Extra - 4 cups of coffee, each with one sweet n low and a splash of French vanilla creamer

I actually cooked which is odd for me as I typically don't have energy. My goal for today is to cook a batch of ground beef for taco bowls!

🩷 Personal Achivements, Oct 11th -

Washed bed sheets + pillowcases

Did the dishes

Maintained Duolingo streak (1 lesson)

Maintained Busuu streak (3 lessons)

Video called with my boyfriend twice

Made a shopping list for langaueh tracker/bullet journal (purchased at 1am because Amazon prime big deals were ending and I wanted to save some money)

Made a schedule/routine for working out next week

Cooked myself a real meal

Swept kitchen and disinfected/wiped down counters in kitchen

showered + morning skincare

🩷 Academic Achievements, Oct 11th -

Completed and submitted lifecycle nutrition chart

submitted and passed lab 7 anatomy pre lab

submitted discussion post + replies for nutr discussion 3

I feel quite proud of yesterday! Let's hope today I can tackle some more stuff on my todo list!

🩷 Personal ToDo, Oct 12th -

cook ground beef for taco bowls (leftovers!!)

wash dirty laundry

put away all clean laundry

therapy appointment

video call boyfriend

morning + night skincare

morning + night journal (?)

do 2 duolingo lessons

do 2 busuu lessons

complete/continue genki I lesson one

type up draft for upcoming blog post(s?)

🩷 Academic ToDo, Oct 12th -

Chapter 9 Notes Psyc

Quiz Chapter 9 Psyc

Culinary chapter 10 Quiz

Consumer Debt Inventiry assignment

Using Credit personal finance assignment

I've put a lot on my to-do list for today, but if I can even get a third of each list done, I will still be very proud of myself. Productivity should not come at the cost of my own well-being. Maybe I'll take a nap today? My boyfriend thinks it's a good idea, but I'm not a big fan of naps regardless of the situation. We shall see.

I took complete advantage of the prime big deals on Amazon and ordered some new workout clothes, some hair accessories, a set of silk pillowcases, and supplies for my bullet journal language tracker/planner. I even bought this cute little journal that's made specifically for fitness and health tracking, as a little side thing of mine to help keep me going! It comes with stickers and already set up pages, so hopefully, it proves to be useful!

I may or may not have made an Ulta order for some makeup using my afterpay account as well, because as it gets colder outside I'm starting to want to wear makeup for fun again. I'm not typically drawn to full beat looks but in the winter I love going all out with my makeup looks, whether I'm doing a more grunge goth emo look or a soft coquette girly look and everything in between. I love makeup as a form of self expression!

May or may not buy some more skincare as well, I'm just trying to decrease the amount of stuff in my skincare cart on the shopping app but it's so hard choosing what to get now and what to wait on!! I'm super indecisive too so that intensified the struggle.

Thats all for today! I'll make sure to update you lovelies tonight/tomorrow!

til next time, lovelies 🩷

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goodluckclove · 1 month

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I have a project that I started for Nanorimo. I won Nano but after it was over I lost the motivation to write the last of the first draft. I think it’s a combination of not knowing exactly how to end it, not a lot of people to share it with, and being worried that I’m gonna re-read what I have and just find it bad.

Hello, Friend! Please, sit down. Take a deep breath. I'm going to say a variation of a form of writing advice that I'm sure you've heard a lot, but I'll hopefully elaborate it to the point where it clicks. I actually started writing through NaNoWriMo, it was a really great way to build up the muscle of consistent practice. Did my first six or so novels like that. Fun!

But I have good news and bad new about your first draft. The bad news is that it probably isn't perfect. The good news is that that's a great place to be in.

For one thing, NaNo specifically is not a traditional way to write a very stable first draft. People will spend years on what you've done in 30 days. To compare them is comparing your blanket fort with someone else's McMansion and thinking "dang what if my blanket fort never has faux-Roman arches".

Some people say their first drafts are perfect. This confuses me but I accept it and believe them when they say it. I do think that these people are not talking about drafts they carved out of word-flesh in a month or less. That's an entirely different game to play. When you hear people talk about how you're supposed to have a shitty first draft it could be hard to swallow. We don't want to feel like we put in all this hard work to make something shitty. So maybe I can say it a different way:

Your first draft is the skeletal structure of the story as a whole. It is the frame to what you're trying to achieve.

And I can say from experience that not liking your first draft doesn't feel the way you might think it will if you go at it the right way. I've written twelve books and there's only maybe two that I read fragments from and genuinely cringe. And even then there's still stuff I like about it.

Maybe you went into some kind of fugue state for a month and wrote a bunch of stuff that you hate every part of. You're a big high fantasy fan and you wrote a gritty detective novel. You love Dark Academia romance and when you read your NaNo you find it is just a list of every slur you could think of and new ones that could be added to the lexicon. If this happens to you then yes, your first draft is objectively terrible and you should probably take yourself to the hospital.

More likely your thoughts will look like this:

Maybe I should cut this. It's not really needed.

Oh I forgot the protagonist has this specific trait, I should remember that and incorporate more in the rest of the book

Hah yeah I see where I was going with this.

I should add more details about this concept, considering I now know about this other concept.

Hah man that's a lot of typos. (Assuming you're like me)

These are the types of things I have thought when I looked over literally every first draft I've ever edited since the dawn of my time as a writer. You are not likely to rend your clothes in shame and burrow underground. Even if you find some weird shift that happens in NaNo novels, like the genre or tone changing midway through the document - professional writers do that too. It can be a more efficient way to explore the space you're working it.

It can be a really interesting challenge! It helps too that you took some time off - I try and take at least a week between draft edits, even though it can be painful. You'll be able to see it with fresher eyes.

My usual strategy for editing my own drafts is to read from the top with curiosity and excitement and treat it like a puzzle. Is this what I want? Can it be better? Was there something I missed? Incidentally, when I'm stuck at a point in the novel I use the same trick and it helps every time. It's how Chuck Palahinuik did Fight Club!

So yeah you already did a huge thing by finishing a NaNo. Why not take a look back, if not just to enjoy the crazy and chaotic fruits of your effort?

Also - in regards to people not reading your work. Out of 12 novels I've probably had 3 read all the way through. It can suck, but it's okay and it doesn't mean they aren't good. Validate yourself and enjoy your own writing and start putting shit online/self-publishing/querying to take a chance!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #on writing #writing community #actually writing #writing asks #writing tips #writing resources #writing inspo

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the-wip-project · 6 months

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SloMo WriNo: Q & A

A few questions about how the SloMo WriNo challenge have come in, so here's the answers to a few of the easy ones. (Don't worry, more complicated questions will be getting their own posts!)

When does it start? The official start date is November 1st.

However this challenge is about you finding your own long term writing rhythm. So if there’s some reason why you can’t begin for a week, a month, or even until next year, that’s fine. Feel free to jump in at any time, and even if you feel like you can’t ‘officially’ start your novel just yet, perhaps you can still begin trying out writing in a SloMo way. You may find yourself easing into things anyway!

Is this plan/event supposed to be just for novels?

Definitely not! I’ve had one person express their intention to write a series of novellas, another to do a second draft, and others plan on writing fanfiction. It’s for whatever you want to write but have been struggling with.

Do those min/max brackets apply for everything one would write in the year? Ideally yes! At least when it comes to writing you’re doing for your own self. (Writing for work and school obviously need to get done at whatever pace you’re required to do them!) The goal here is to establish writing as a long term sustainable habit. Now as time goes on you will probably want to tweak your minimum and maximum word counts, as you get more familiar with your own process. Please go ahead and do that, and then keep on writing within that adjusted ideal zone.

I’m kinda burned out. Should I even try to attempt this? That’s a tough one, and really something you need to answer for yourself based on your current situation and emotional state. If you do decide to attempt the challenge, I recommend keeping your goal word counts (at least initally) at a level that feels ‘too easy’ and taking at least two days each week off writing. If it starts feeling like too much, dial it back even further, or take some time off. This challenge will be going on all year, so you can hop in and out whenever you need to. No guilt needed!

Who are you and why are you claiming to be an expert on this stuff anyway? Actually no one has been so mean as to say that, but there’s been a little confusion about who I am and why I’m posting here. My name is Maree, and Barbex (the one who actually runs this blog) was kind enough to help me out with this challenge and let me post on the WIP blog and the WIP discord. (you can find my own blog at mareebrittenford.)

I completed my first novel in 2015, and since then I’ve written 8 novels, as well as assorted shorter stories and a few (okay maybe more than a few) fanfics. I have managed to publish 4 of the novels and a few short stories have made their way into magazines and anthologies. Now I don’t claim to be a great writer, but the one thing I’m confident of is that I’ve become very good at is Finishing My Stuff. (And finishing stuff with ADHD is a very special skill!)

I created this challenge to share all my tips and tricks, and hopefully help other people also Finish Their Stuff.

If you have any other questions about the challenge (or for me personally) you can reblog with comments, send an ask, or hop onto the WIP discord

#slomowrino #questions about the challenge #writing

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 6 months

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the sequel to Emergency Contact is now over 10k, and according to @nctzenkane it's some of my best work yet, so get excited!!

it's like 40% done so far (ish) and I expect that it's definitely gonna be over 20k by the time it's done. and it should be first draft finished by the end of next week. (hopefully). and with editing, I expect that it'll be posted at the beginning of next month. I am so excited about it, and I think that it's gonna be one of my greatest fics ever

it's also one of the few sequels I have written, so I am very excited about that

#sundrop speaks #update #updates #fanfiction #dc titans fanfiction #jason todd x reader

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dearfuturehusbandblog · 1 month

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ZMAN CHEIRUSEINU aka "I'M the terrible communicator!?!?!?!!"

Dear Future Husband,

I hope nobody ever quizzes me on this blog because there are so many things that I've started and stopped writing that never got posted that I literally never remember what I've actually put here...

Not that that's really fully relevant to what I was thinking about writing now, but I currently have two unfinished posts in my drafts folder (amidst 25 others that will probably never get posted) that are just a recap of this year so far.

Because I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare.

Explaining what's going on right now is kind of problematic because I haven't provided the lengthy backstory yet (which is one of the drafts I have yet to finish...)

Suffice to say, MotherLivelyHeart is being a nightmare to me again.

I think I've shared before that MLH and I share a vehicle? If not... yeah, we share a car. I'll have to look through my posts to see if I've explained that situation before, because that's one more thing to check off the "my life absolutely f*ing sucks" list.

Usually this isn't the worst thing in the world because we operate on different schedules and there isn't much crossover when it comes to who needs the car when, and when there is I usually drop her off somewhere, do what I need to do, and pick her up after.

For the record, I HATE when she offers the opposite because I have a history of being abandoned in places waiting for her to pick me up and it gives me such severe anxiety.

So last week on Sunday I asked MLH what her plans were for the next day. I asked this because I overheard a phone call she received on Friday from the dentist's office about an appointment she had on Monday at noon that she hadn't told me anything about and I knew if I was going to ever find out she was going to take the car, I would have to be the one to ask her. So I asked. And wouldn't you believe it, she had a dentist appointment on Monday at noon! Shocker.

Now, I'd been out of work since the beginning of January (again, details will hopefully be in another post) so I had a lot to take care of at work last Monday and I told her that.

We agreed she would have the car for her appointment and I would take the car to work when she got home.

Come Monday afternoon, suddenly everything has changed.

You see, her boss called in sick and she had the day off because she has a specific job that requires her to work alongside her boss and if he doesn't work, she doesn't work.

So she had the day off. Joy.

Of course, did she tell this to me directly? No.

Did she message me this information? No.

I'm just supposed to approach her and ask, "hey, did your boss call in sick and give you the day off?" I guess.

So she went to her appointment and ran some errands and called me while she was still out. Apparently some specific water bottles she can only get in like two places were available at one store about 20 minutes away from our house and she placed a pickup order so she could get them before they were sold out. The order had to be picked up between like 2:30-3:30pm and she called me at around 1:30.

Great.

She picked a pickup time that was directly during the time I was supposed to be at work.

Which she knew.

Because I told her this literally the day before.

So I told her fine. She should do the pickup order and when she got back I would take the car to work.

"Well, I also wanted to go swimming."

*Deep breath* Ok, what time is swimming?

"From 2-9pm."

At this point I didn't know how long I'd be at work because one of the things I had to take care of could be like 4-6 hours and I didn't know if there would be enough time when I was done to get home and let her get to the pool with enough time to swim before they closed.

"Ok, well why don't you go swimming, do the pickup order, and then I'll take the car to work?"

"Well, I want to come home and eat something first."

Ok. So now, what was supposed to be my time to take the car is going to be "stolen" by her coming home (15 minutes), eating something (15 minutes), going to swim (40 minutes), getting the pickup order (30 minutes), and coming back home (20 minutes).

This is TWO HOURS off of my time.

WHICH I HAD TOLD HER I NEEDED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE.

So she came home, ate something, and changed into her bathing suit. She left around 2pm for the pool.

I assumed at this point I'd hear from her around 3:30pm that she was around the corner.

But 3:30 came and went.

4:00pm came and went.

4:30pm came and went.

5:00pm came and BigSis messaged that she would be done at work in an hour and could either of us give her a ride home?

MOTHERF@*$%^#$ER

So it's been three hours without an update from MLH, but then she responds "I should be on my way back from the pickup order then."

EXCUSE ME!?!?!?!

She left for the pool at 2pm. THREE HOURS have gone by and she hasn't even gotten the pickup order that was supposed to be picked up between 2:30-3:30pm!?!?!?!!?!?

But she tells me that I'M a terrible communicator.

I was supposed to get the car by 1:30pm latest. It was now after 5pm and I STILL hadn't gotten to work yet.

As much as I hate when she offers to drop me off at work so she can take care of things that will take a few hours, SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME THAT. She made it seem like I would have the car all afternoon to take care of what I needed to at work. And when her plans shifted, she made it seem like I'd have the car by 3:30pm latest.

And let me remind you THAT I TOLD HER THE DAY BEFORE WHAT MY SCHEDULE WAS SO THAT THIS S*** WOULDN'T HAPPEN.

But I'M the terrible communicator.

At that point I was so frickin annoyed already. MLH messaged me "should I get her or just come home" and I was so peeved I said "just get her because if you come home and I take the car I'm not picking her up."

She didn't respond to that message.

Great.

No thumbs up. No "ok." Just nothing.

Then at 6:12pm I get a message from her "car's downstairs in front."

So no message from BigSis that MLH had picked her up and they were heading home. No "we're around the corner." No nothing except over an hour later "take it."

BUT I'M THE TERRIBLE COMMUNICATOR!?

At that point it was too late for me to do some of the things I needed to take care of for work because, again, I was supposed to have been there FIVE HOURS EARLIER. And a friend messaged and asked if I could go with her to Costco, so I said to hell with it and I went to Costco with her.

While I was at Costco I messaged both MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis about what I was getting so we were all on the same page. Included in that message was eggs because, well, I was getting eggs.

I got home at like 10pm and MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis were already asleep. I made a couple of mini salami kugels with some spinach that oddly floated to the top, waited for them to cool, tried 1/4 of one before sticking them in the fridge.

Next morning I open the fridge and there's a new carton of 1.5 dozen eggs. Because apparently MLH went to the supermarket early in the morning and got eggs because "we were out."

DESPITE ME LITERALLY MESSAGING THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT I WAS BUYING EGGS AT COSTCO.

Oh, but it gets better. Because the salami kugel I had tasted the night before was missing.

BigSis was working from home so I asked her about it and she said she had no clue.

So I asked MotherLivelyHeart about it, thinking maybe it slipped out of the fridge, smashed, and she threw it out.

But no.

Guess who ate it.

Yep, the woman who has been suffering from gout and avoiding meat for the better part of a year.

The woman who saw it in the fridge and said to herself "oh, that's one of the broccoli kugels LivelyHeart made for herself for Shabbos that she said wasn't good. I guess I'll eat that for breakfast without asking her if she really doesn't want it because although she's on a weird diet right now, there's no way she's made a meal plan for herself that includes this food item she made for herself."

Because, did she message me to ask if she could have it?

Nope.

Did she knock on my door to ask if she could have it?

Nope.

Halfway through eating it she realized it was salami.

And she still finished the whole thing.

And still at NO POINT did she message me AT ALL to even tell me that she ate it.

I had to find out by inquiring OF HER.

BUT. I'M. THE. TERRIBLE. COMMUNICATOR!?!?!?!

I shouldn't be mad.

It's just food, after all, right?

Except that it's not.

It's a frickin pattern of carelessness and disregard for me as a person.

And I'm so frickin sick of it.

I'm so damn tired.

It wouldn't have killed her to ask.

It wouldn't have killed her to apologize.

And what I haven't really explained here (because again, that's in a draft post) is that I've been on an elimination diet since January 1st which has cut most things from my available food selections.

But is she on an elimination diet?

Nope.

So we have a HOUSEFUL, a PANTRYFUL, and a FRIDGEFUL of food she can eat.

And she chooses the ONE thing I made FOR ME.

Which she KNEW I made for ME.

Instead of the MYRIAD OF THINGS that she can eat that I can't.

Which means that she's not only taken a meal from me, but now I'm at a food deficit from the fridge while she lives in abundance.

BUT. I'M. THE. TERRIBLE. COMMUNICATOR.

So let's leap forward to today.

Today was Shabbos mevorchim. Pesach is in two weeks.

And MotherLivelyHeart decided we are going to change over the kitchen two weeks ahead this year.

So she scheduled her cleaning lady to come tomorrow (Sunday) to help clean the kitchen so it can be turned over.

Did she take into account that this would be motzei Shabbos and that we'd have to make Shabbos and that would involve dirty dishes and use of the stove/oven and pots and pans?

Yeah, no.

Did she take into account that the way she wants to clean the oven requires the oven to be self-cleaned before and after which takes a good several hours and creates so much smoke that we'd have to keep the windows open and also it's like 40F right now and she also wanted to go to sleep early because the cleaning lady is coming at like 8am?

Yeah, no.

BigSis went over the oven cleaning thing with her and she exclaimed "are you kidding me?! Then why am I having the cleaning lady come tomorrow?!"

BECAUSE YOU SCHEDULED HER WITHOUT CONSULTING US.

BECAUSE THERE WAS NO COMMUNICATION.

DO YOU SEE A FRICKIN THEME HERE!?!?!!?

Oh, but there's more. Because there's always more.

Thursday was another nightmare day for various reasons. One of which was that I ran errands with MotherLivelyHeart.

She scheduled an appointment for smackdab in the middle of the time I told her I'd be working.

YES. AGAIN.

And she wanted to drop me off at work and pick me up when I was done.

Well absofrickinlutelynot, thankyouverymuch.

I was supposed to work until 6pm.

I had told customers I would be available until 6pm.

Her appointment was scheduled for 6pm.

So of course "I need the car at 5:30pm."

She wanted to drive me to work earlier so that she could take the car at 5:30pm to her appointment that wouldn't be done until 7pm and then come get me an hour and a half after I was done working.

But I was supposed to trust that she wouldn't run errands or dilly dally around and that she'd actually get me at 7:30pm, which we know is never the case.

So I told her no, I'd be taking the car to work. But I would notify the customers I'd only be there until 5:30pm, at which point I'd get her and drive her to her appointment. Then while she was in her appointment I could do the Shabbos shopping, since it seemed pointless to have to wait for her to come home again before I could go out and shop.

For various reasons, we had three stores we needed to go to, one of which was about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of where her appointment was. I figured I could go there first, then on my way back to get her I could run by the other two stores, get her and then we'd go straight home.

But no.

Because it was raining and people apparently don't know how to drive in the rain. So despite me taking the highway, which should have cut like 10 minutes out of the ride each way, it took me about 30 minutes to get to that first store, which I was in for maybe 10 minutes, and as I was checking out MLH messaged "my appointment is almost over, where are you at?"

So all I had time for was turning around and going straight to get her.

Which, fine, whatever.

One of the stores we went to literally just for chicken.

And it was chicken for her because she wanted a specific type of breaded chicken for Shabbos.

So I figured I'd run into the store and grab it while she stayed in the car.

But no.

Because while I was unbuckling, she was unbuckling. Because she decided to come in.

So she went to look at side salads and I went to the chicken section where I waited but she never showed up.

Then I get a message from her.

"Where are you?"

Excuse me???? WHERE ARE YOU, WOMAN???

I told her I was at the chicken section waiting for her and she said "I already checked out. I'm going back to the car."

WE LITERALLY WENT TO THIS STORE TO BUY HER CHICKEN.

SHE CAME IN WITH ME.

PRESUMABLY TO BUY HER CHICKEN.

But she's checked out already!? WITH WHAT!?

Oh. Apparently something to eat. Because she's hangry.

Which she, OF COURSE, DID NOT TELL ME.

Fine. Whatever.

So I bought her frickin chicken.

And then on the way home she got mad at me about three driving-related things that were out of my control (like the car started making a weird noise that might be the muffler, and there was a huge pothole I couldn't avoid, and I was coming to a stop at an intersection when some lady rounded the corner quickly and we barely missed colliding...) which resulted in her yelling at me that she hates the way I'm driving.

So, yeah, that was a fun ride home.

*EYEROLL*

Anyway, on the way to her appointment she said "we never worked out a Shabbos menu."

I told her the same thing I've told her almost every week over the last three months: I'm eating differently from you guys, so you just tell me what you want and I'll grab it from the store, because I already have set aside what I'm going to eat.

And she tells me "my boss has off tomorrow, so I can cook."

Which is perfectly fine in my eyes because I'm still recovering from an injury (again, that's one of the drafted posts...) and I also had a horrendous cold for the previous two weeks so I'm still trying to get back to baseline. Any pressure off me is appreciated.

We basically worked out that for shabbos we'd do a big soup for Friday night (which I would make), then she wanted chicken (obvs) and I had bought green beans at Costco I told her she could have, and then Shabbos lunch would be fish and salady stuff.

Well, Friday rolls around.

The day already sucked because I tried adding some vegetables back into my diet during the week that are apparently problematic for my digestion. Fun.

But then MotherLivelyHeart decides to stick to her arbitrary Pesach cleaning schedule which says to clean the milchig dishes she's had piling up all week. So of course she decides to do this at like noon and doesn't finish the job and there are still milchig dishes in the sink at 3pm when I need to go in and make the soup.

Add onto that, one of my "chores" is the pareve dishes, some of which have been piling up too and also need to be done, which she feels the need to remind me of, despite her milchig dishes still filling the sink.

So I go in around 3pm and just start cooking, using the small bit of counter space that's available to me.

She decides that's the perfect time to finish the milchig dishes.

FINE. WHATEVER.

She gets them out of the way and reminds me YET AGAIN about the pareve dishes.

FINEWHATEVER.

So around 4pm I'm back in the kitchen, doing the pareve dishes, of which I only got about half done because it was causing pain and I still had to cook.

So I pivoted and did the soup.

But nothing else had been cooked yet.

So I made the green beans.

And I had to separate the soups so I could add things to theirs that I can't eat.

At this point I'm still annoyed from her the day before, my insides are so unhappy with the newly tested foods, I'm in pain from the injury, and I'm trying to cook for Shabbos.

Around 6pm I asked BigSis if she could help with the chicken. She was like "I STILL HAVE TO SHOWER!!!" As though she didn't have all day for that and somehow me needing help is my fault. She said "if you had asked me like three hours ago I could have done it."

Except that three hours ago, the milchig dishes were still filling up the sink, so.... what exactly do you expect from me!?

Sometime a little earlier when MotherLivelyHeart had been in the kitchen it was clear I wasn't doing so well and she asked what was wrong and I described the pain and she was like "I'm sorry" and then disappeared.

So then she gets a "20 minutes to candle lighting" alarm on her phone, and she's been trying to light early in zchus of the hostages and chayalim, so she calls out "20 minutes to licht benchen." Which I responded to but she didn't hear, obviously, because she yelled again "LivelyHeart, did you hear me!?"

To which I responded an annoyed "YES!!" and she was like "you don't have to talk to me that way! I clearly didn't hear you. And BigSis and I can make Shabbos on our own, you know."

Which, MYGODWOMAN. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO.

My responsibility based on our conversation was the soup.

ZE HU.

SHE was supposed to do the chicken and the green beans and whatever else they wanted.

So now she's annoyed at me because I'm annoyed at her for not doing the thing she was supposed to do, but I'M the one in the wrong.

FINE. Whatever.

In the end I didn't do the chicken.

I literally didn't have the strength for it, let alone the energy.

Not that it was really missed at the meal, but she was a bit annoyed and gave me that same "BigSis and I can cook for Shabbos on our own, you know." To which I responded "You said you were going to cook." I literally don't even remember what her response was.

Well, fast forward through Shabbos to tonight because I asked her if she wanted the chicken for melava malka or if we should stick it in the freezer for a week since it's KFP.

She wanted it for melava malka.

Which, fine, whatever.

I told her if she could bread it, I would cook it.

She got gloves, she got bowls, she got the chicken, and she got eggs.

She did not get the other ingredients she needed for the breading. Or a plate to put it on. Or a fork.

She sat down at the table and then asked me to get the other ingredients.

Which, fine. Whatever.

I got an interesting piece of mail that I'll discuss in another post when I know more what's going on with it, but it basically called my attention to research something. So I was on my computer off to the side while she was breading the chicken.

The next thing I know, she's frying the chicken.

I went into the kitchen and asked her why she was frying it when I told her I would do it for her since cooking usually exhausts her, and she got all frustrated and exasperated at me and said something like "I DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT TO WAIT FOR YOU."

And I was like, "what are you talking about!? I was waiting for you to finish breading it! you didn't tell me you were done!"

Which just pissed her off more.

BECAUSE. I'M. THE. TERRIBLE. COMMUNICATOR.

But this is the time of year we celebrate freedom, right?

This is the time of year we thank Hashem for rescuing us from a horrible situation.

Well, where's mine?

We're supposed to celebrate every year as though WE ALL left Mitzrayim.

As though we were ALL saved.

But I am not saved.

I have never been saved.

The stupidity I've just described above is just a piece of the insane patterning of my entire life.

I have no escape from this nonsense.

And I'm just so done with all of it.

I want it all to be over.

I want it all to go away.

Where's my freedom?

Where's my salvation?

I really have to finish those other two drafts, because this isn't even the clearest picture of what I've been dealing with since 2024 started. It's barely April and I just want this secular year to be over.

There are a couple of people who have suggested guys to me over the last several months and, although they're not really what I'm looking for, right now I just don't have the emotional energy for a new relationship. I'm just so burned out from this one that I deal with every frickin day of my stupid life, which of course I can't even tell these people.

So... dear future husband, I hope you can hang in there, because I don't know when I'll be ready for you.

But maybe by then I'll be a good communicator.

-LivelyHeart

And now for the story after the story:

So, after that disaster of a drive back from the store on Thursday night, we got home around 8:30pm and although she got something small to eat from that second supermarket I knew that MotherLivelyHeart hadn't eaten anything since lunch so when I made dinner for myself I made a second bowl for her. I brought it to her and she said "oh... you didn't have to do that." Not a lot of enthusiasm there.

She didn't eat it for about a half an hour, by which time it was probably cold, and the next thing I knew, she was in bed going to sleep without another word about how it was.

Now, I don't demand praise or feedback for anything I cook, but she usually makes a comment about whatever I make, so I found it odd that she was silent on the matter.

On Friday I went to ask her about something else and while I was talking to her I asked how her dinner was the night before and she said something along the lines of, "it was... interesting. ground chicken just doesn't cook well, it's not your fault. you prepared it well, it's just not that good. ground turkey is better."

No "thank you," no "it was sweet of you to think of me," no "I appreciate the effort especially considering that you're working through the pain right now."

Just meh.

I love when I'm appreciated.

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